#but I've noticed this a while ago and felt the need to type it out

[bitchofdarkness]

(Gotta start this off with: I'm not trans) but I think the problem- just from an observational standpoint- is that nowadays the straight right wingers who want to eradicate trans and nb people use certain phrases to invalidate someones experience as a trans or nonbinary person. I've seen too many of those ppl having arguments on social media, it makes me sick.

For example, if you, like OP, say you used to be a girl and now you're a man or you grew up to become a man (which is a VALID way to say it) they will use it against trans ppl. "So you agree? You were born a girl and biologically that makes you a woman? You're confused, you've been brainwashed." They make it impossible for young trans/nb people to argue with them(mostly cause those turfs don't even listen, they just shout their stupidity into the world), and I think that is why trans/nb youngsters try to make it impossible for those arguments to work. "I've always been a boy, in my mind, my heart and soul and now I'm a man." Sure, they can still argue that you were born with female body parts, but they don't have as much leverage anymore. Since you always felt that way, no one ever "brainwashed" you into thinking you could be anything other than a boy(in this example).

That's just sad, because it makes these young people go against the ones who have fought for their right to exist SO much longer and who paved the way for them/us(including the whole lgbtq+ community here). It's disrespectful, but yeah I get it.

The fear of not being believed and not being "valid enough" in those straight right wingers eyes who look like the majority and possibly be forced into being a person you simply aren't is terrifying.

And I gotta tell y'all, just because those people will never understand what you're saying, doesn't mean you're wrong. It doesn't make your experience and growth wrong or any less valid. Sexuality is fluid. Maybe you always knew you were a boy/girl/nonbinary, knew who you were or weren't interested in, maybe you grew into who you are right now and figured out what you like through trial and error. All of this can be true at the same time. There is no right or wrong way to it.

Some closing words: Just because someone tells me to not cross the street when the lights are red in russian (which I don't speak), doesn't mean the message is wrong. I just don't understand it. But you know what would help? Learning russian. In our case now though, people need to learn about the complexity that is gender, sex(uality), identity even as a straight person they need to know.

don't use "ftm" it's outdated and offensive. it implies that the trans person was their agab, which we never were. i was always a boy, never a girl who became a boy.

i'm 35 years old. i've been IDing as trans or something similar to trans for nearly 20 years. i was probably calling myself FTM while you were playing tag during recess, anon.

i WAS a girl. i IDed as a girl early in my life. i recognized myself as a girl, called myself a girl, lived as a girl, and was a girl. who then IDed as a man. hence, F t M.

spend more time worrying about yourself instead of strangers on the internet, anon.

sorry not sorry if this comes off as needlessly hostile, but i've been getting a lot of shit from a lot of teenage trans kids about the language i use to describe my own goddamn experience, and i'm growing real fuckin weary of it.

i have elder trans friends who call themselves transsexuals and transvestites and trannies. are you going to seriously go to a 60-year-old trans person who survived the reagan years and tell her she's not allowed to use certain language to describe herself because it might offend the delicate sensibilities of some teenager on the internet?

do yourself a favor and log off, find some real-life trans people who are over the age of 20 or 25, and spend time talking to them instead of getting all holier-than-thou at random strangers on tumblr.

[myth1cs]

Slay the Princess (Shin Ryujin x M!Reader)

This is smut, Sorry!!! Finishing this week with Ryujin ... Again Word Count: 3,093

Chapter 1: The Hero and the Princess

You're on a path in the woods. And at the end of that path is a cabin. And in the basement of that cabin is a princess. You're here to slay her. If you don't, it will be the end of the world.

Or at least that's what you've been told. You are the kingdom's best knight. From a young age you've always been the "best". When your mandatory service happened you always performed the best. The higher ups noticed you and you quickly rose the ranks. Eventually you became the king's personal guard.

One day he pulled you aside and told you about this mission. He didn't trust anyone else but you. He told you how a while ago a dangerous princess was locked in a cabin basement deep in the woods. He feared one day she would break out and "end the world". He wanted you to slay her once and for all.

So here you were, as you walked to the cabin you remembered the king's warning before you left.

"Y/N she will lie, she will cheat, and she will do everything in her power to stop you from slaying her. Don't believe a word she says."

You were skeptical. How could a princess "end the world." Even if she was that dangerous why didn't the people who locked her there kill her?

It was all suspicious. You planned on asking a few questions before slaying her. As much as you trusted the king you felt as if something wasn't right.

You made your way up the cabin. When you entered you noticed how bare it was. Only a table and chair were in it. The only other thing was the door to the basement. You drew your sword your "pristine blade" was the only thing you took with you to "do the job".

You put your hand on the doorknob. Slowly you turned it, opening the door. When you opened the door you were immediately hit with a smell of disgust. It wreaked in there smelling horrible like dead animals. Your eyes started to sting.

But no matter, you have to do your job. You thought to yourself that if the princess really had been stuck down here then slaying her would probably be doing her a favor.

You made your way down the stairs. The stairs creaked as you walked on them alerting the princess of your presence.

"H-hello? Is someone there? I've been stuck here for so long please tell me your here to rescue me!"

Her voice was perfect. It was the type of voice you only need to hear once to remember it for the rest of your life.

You made your way down the stairs and saw her. She was beautiful. Her pink dress and her crown she had. She looked stunning. But how were they in such good condition if she had been stuck in the basement for so long?

"Are you my hero?" She said with hope in her voice.

"Y-yes well I mean no ... I mean." You were stuttering over your words you wanted to help her. But you can't forget your mission.

"What do you mean?" The princess looked at you confused.

You composed yourself before speaking up. "Do you mind if I ask you a few questions first?"

The princess looked upset when you said that. "Okay but can you hurry up sir hero? I just want to get out of here."

You made your way up to her. But before you could get close to her the princess spoke up.

"Hey can you put your sword away? It's making me uneasy."

You're not sure why but you did as she asked. You put your pristine blade away and sat in front of her.

"So princess ... actually is princess too much? Do you want me to call you something else?"

"You can call me Ryujin."

"Right so Ryujin do you know why you're stuck down here?"

She hesitated before answering "No, but there must be a good reason. I mean you don't just lock a princess in a basement without a good reason ... Right?"

"Wait, you're not sure why you're here?"

Ryujin stayed silent. She looked like she genuinely wasn't sure.

"I don't know."

You wanted to help her. But you couldn't forget your mission. You considered what to do with her until she suddenly spoke up.

"Have you decided what you want to do with me?"

You thought for a moment. "I'm sure I could just watch over her. If she tries anything I could slay her." you thought to yourself.

Even though you were told to kill her you didn't want to harm her. You wanted to help her escape.

"Okay so here's what I'm going to do. So I'll help you free and I'll watch over you. But if you do anything that could harm someone than I won't hesitate in slaying you."

"That's fine by me."

You tried to find a way to free Ryujin from her chains. Her right wrist was chained to the wall. The metal looked old so you bashed it on the wall until it broke. Ryujin got slightly hurt in the process but she didn't mind.

"Now let's get you out of here."

You and Ryujin made your way upstairs. Closing the basement door behind you, you both looked at each other.

"I just realized I haven't caught your name sir hero."

"Call me Y/N."

"Y/N thank you for rescuing me. You deserve a reward you know."

"Oh really that's fine I'm just doing what's right."

"No I insist. From which kingdom do you come from? I'll ask my father to make a generous donation to it. And you to of course."

"Well I come from the Hei area."

"Noted, I'll make sure that you're compensated for your trouble Y/N."

"Ryujin do you know your way back to where you're from?"

"I don't, I'm not familiar with this area. But I'm sure I can figure it out."

You didn't want to leave Ryujin alone. What if she got hurt? Or worse the person who originally imprisoned her finds her again.

"I'll take you back to my place. But we'll have to be sneaky the guards always inspect soldiers whenever they come back from a mission."

"Well what do you suggest Y/N?"

-

As you made your way back you and Ryujin were nervous. You were banking on this one plan and you didn't have a back up plan. It was all or nothing.

You made your way to the back entrance where your friends Hwang Yeji and Kim Ji-woo were stationed.

You made your way up to them and they stopped you.

"Hold up Y/N who is she?" Kim Ji-woo asked

"Chuu, her name is Ryujin she's someone who I found wandering around. She said she was homeless and I wanted to bring her to my home." Even though her name was "Kim Ji-Woo" you always called her "Chuu".

"Yah! Y/N don't call me that!"

"Hold up Y/N I thought you were sent to slay a princess. So why is she dressed like one?" Yeji looked at you skeptically.

"I took the princesses clothes when I slayed her and gave them to Ryujin so she wouldn't have to stay in her old clothes."

"Wait you took the clothes off the princess? ..... Was she hot?"

"Yes no ... wait what? Why is this the question your asking Chuu?"

Chuu looked at you with her face becoming a little red.

"Well I just want to know if she was attractive or not."

"Alright Y/N you can come in just make sure to report her first thing in the morning so she can become an official citizen of the kingdom." Yeji said getting tired of the conversation you and Chuu were having.

You lead Ryujin to your house near the castle. Making sure to avoid being seen by anyone.

You eventually made your way home and let Ryujin in.

"So this is your place Y/N? It's quite nice."

You showed Ryujin around your house. Leading her to your bedroom you told her that she could stay there until you got back. You had to report to the king that your mission was successful.

"Wait Y/N before you go at least let me reward you."

Ryujin grabbed your arm

"What do you mean Ryujin? You already said you would you don't have to give me more."

"I just feel bad that I can't reward you yet and just want to give you a quick reward."

Ryujin walked up to you. She crashed her lips onto yours. You were stunned but quickly pushed her away.

"Ry-Ryujin what are you doing?"

"I'm just giving you your reward. Is something wrong?"

"Ryujin I can't do this."

You quickly left the room leaving Ryujin alone.

"What's wrong with him?" Ryujin thought to herself.

Ryujin looked around your house. She found some of your clothes and changed into them. She went outside and made her way back to Yeji and Chuu. "If anyone knows about Y/N it's probably those two." Ryujin thought to herself.

Ryujin finally made her way there. Yeji and Chuu looked at her confused wondering why she was even there.

"Why are you back here?"

"Do any of you know about Y/N's past?"

"Where is this coming from?"

"I tried to kiss him but he declined. When he left he looked as if he was sad about something."

Yeji looked at Chuu wondering if she should tell her.

"Look this is a matter of Y/N's business. I don't think we should speak about his personal matters. If you want to know more than you should ask him."

As Ryujin was walking away Chuu yelled at her "If you ask about it please be gentle with him!"

Ryujin sighed and went back to your house.

When she got back she saw you. You looked panicked.

"Oh thank goodness you showed up. Where were you?!"

"I just wanted to go out for some fresh air."

"Look Ryujin you can't be going out. People won't recognize you and be suspicious."

"That's why I wore your clothes."

You sat down on the floor exhausted.

"Just don't sneak out again."

"H-hey Y/N."

"Yeah?"

"Why did you push me away when I kissed you?"

You didn't want to tell her. But something told you that you should.

"It was a long time ago..."

You told Ryujin about your wife. You told her how you met her, and how you were both in love with each other. However one day when the kingdom was attacked by barbarians she was one of the people that was killed in the attack. Ever since you haven't been able to fall in love with another person.

"I'm so sorry Y/N I didn't know."

"It's fine, it was a long time ago anyways."

"I'm sure she would be proud of the person you became."

"Thanks"

The room was filled with silence. Neither wanted to speak up as it felt weird to speak after you just told her about your past.

"Look Y/N I have no right to tell you this, but you need to move on. Life goes on and you shouldn't feel afraid of being in another relationship over one bad experience."

You thought about what Ryujin said. You didn't want to disrespect your dead wife by dating another woman.

"Don't be afraid I only want what's best for you." The final words you ever heard from your wife Hanni played in your head.

You started crying unable to bear the emotions you had bottled up for so long. Ryujin went to you and embraced you.

"Go ahead let it all out." Ryujin said as you cried on her.

You cried letting your tears fall on Ryujin. You only told Yeji and Chuu. But they could only do so much. The pain of your Hanni's death always bottled inside you.

Eventually you calmed down. Wiping your tears away you looked at Ryujin.

"Ryujin, I have the same feelings being with you as I did with my wife." You told her before you gently put your lips on hers.

Ryujin kissed you back. Both of you made love with each other. You were both very gentle as to not harm the other. You slowly worked on taking off Ryujin's shirt. Once you saw her beautiful breasts it made your cock hard.

"Do you want me to help you Y/N?"

You nodded and Ryujin started to take off your pants. Once they were off she put your hard cock in between her soft breasts. Moving them up and down. It made you go crazy. Ryujin spit on your cock to help make it nice and slippery.

All of this made you lose focus of everything around you. You couldn't hold back any longer. You pushed Ryujin to the floor and started to align your cock to her wet pussy. Shoving it deep inside of her hitting her deepest points, making Ryujin loudly moaned. You started to pinch her nipples and started thrusting in her.

Ryujin was being overstimulated as she felt herself on the brink of release.

"Y/N I'm cumming!"

Ryujin squirted all over your cock but you didn't stop.

"Stop Y/N I'm sensitive!" but her plea went in one ear and out the other. It only fueled your drive to continue going deep in. The thought of ruining a princess was still clouding your mind.

Suddenly Ryujin wrapped her legs around you and pulled you in closer. You weren't complaining though. Going in and out again, and again, and again Ryujin kept squirting on your cock. But your persisted bent on reaching your own orgasm.

As you felt yourself about to cum you grabbed Ryujin's breasts that fit so perfectly in your hands. Squeezing them as you unloaded inside of her. The princess was sweaty and oozing out a mix of both your cum and hers.

"You're so addicting Ryu."

Ryujin got on top of you and you thrusted up.

"Wrong hole Y/N!"

"Sorry!"

This time you shoved your cock into her pussy. Ryujin started bouncing on your cock. Your hands found their way to her ass. Giving it a hard squeeze eliciting more moaning from the princess.

"More! More! Ahh Y/N~"

"What a horney princess. You're so noisy."

"Give me more Y/N I don't want your love I want your cum."

You gave her just that. Cumming inside of the princess painting her pussy with all your thick semen.

You both laid on the ground exhausted until suddenly the door to your house was broken down.

Soldiers came rushing in and detained you both. You didn't have time to react as you were quickly knocked out and lost consciousness.

You woke up, you tried getting up but felt chains tying your feet and arms to the bed.

"Answer our questions and your sentencing will be lighter."

You recognized that voice.

"General Jung Ho-seok (J-Hope)? Why are you-"

"Zip it traitor. If we got to you any later the world could have ended. Now you better have a damn good reason for not only not slaying the princess, but also inviting her into our kingdom and having sex with her." He sounded furious. You and general Ho-seok were friends. You both always hung out together and got to know each other very well. But this was the very first time you ever heard him so mad.

"It's not what you think she isn't dangerous!"

"Oh don't tell me you fell for her dirty tricks Y/N what did the king tell you? He told you to not trust a single word she says. Your a traitor now you'll both be publicly executed first thing tomorrow morning."

Ho-seok got up and started leaving.

"Wait where is Ryu- I mean the princess!"

"As if I would tell you that!"

He left leaving you alone tied to the bed in your cell.

Execution Day

You had a hard time falling asleep. But who could blame you, you were about to be executed. 5 royal guards came to your cell. They freed you from the chains and escorted you outside.

You made it outside and you saw 2 guillotines. Ryujin was already in one. They put you into the one next to hers.

The king suddenly came on stage and started giving a speech. You didn't pay attention. You were more focused on how the knights found out about Ryujin. Did Yeji and Chuu sell you out? Did someone see Ryujin while she went outside and reported her?

Looking around the crowd you saw Yeji and Chuu both looking at you with a certain look. You could tell they were the ones who sold you out. "Those fucking traitors." you thought.

"And now commence the execution!"

When you heard the king say those words you were pulled out of your train of thought. You heard the guillotine next to you cut something. You were horrified as you saw Ryujin's head fall and roll on the floor. But you didn't have to process this as suddenly you lost consciousness. Everything went dark and you died.

???

You're on a path in the woods. And at the end of that path is a cabin. And in the basement of that cabin is a princess. You're here to slay her. If you don't, it will be the end of the world.

"W-wait didn't I just live this? Was that a dream?" You looked around, you couldn't believe it . Was that a dream? Was this life giving you a second chance?

You ran up the path and saw the cabin. It was different this time though. It was in shambles .... broken. You ignored it and ran in the basement. You had to see if Ryujin was alive.

Opening the door to the basement you noticed how dark it was. You made your way downstairs to see a skeleton. You were horrified until you suddenly felt something cold touch your back.

You turned around and saw her ... it was Ryujin.

Except

It was her ghost.

"Wh- what just what are you?"

"Y/N I'm so glad you could make it back!"

"Why are you a ghost?"

"Does it matter?"

Unsure of why you were reborn or why Ryujin was a ghost. You knew that you had to turn Ryujin into a human again and get your revenge on those traitors.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Slay the princess is such a good game. Seriously if you haven't played it you should.

In case anyone is wondering this story isn't taken from the game. Only the intro sequence was. :p

Also I know this is horrible timing. Another author released a smut story that also had a princess Ryujin thing I just want to make it clear I didn't steal it!!! I swear I've had this in my drafts for weeks now!

[kykyonthemoon]

How to take care of your on-period girlfriend

During that time of the month, you receive special treatment from him.

ಇ. Character x Female Reader

with Rafayel, Xavier, Zayne and Caleb.

ಇ. Tags: fluff, domestic fluff, established relationship, pain & comfort

ಇ. Word count: 3k4

ಇ. Note: Some details in this fic are inspired by in game Tender Moments.

ಇ. Requested by Mỗi ngày nhặt một anh làm chồng and an anonymous reader on my ask box.

ಇ. Masterlist ♡ Request a fic ♡

𝑹𝒂𝒇𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒍

In the middle of the night, you awoke with such discomfort in your lower belly and an aching feeling throughout your body. You knew it was that time of the month; in fact, it was a few days late due to recent work-related stress. You didn't expect to have your period today, so waking up at this hour with discomfort all over your body was quite uncomfortable to you.

Your hand found the phone on the nightstand beside the bed. Rafayel has left you several messages and missed calls. Perhaps you fell asleep without realizing it due to fatigue. You decided to get up and use the bathroom for a while. That's when you discovered you were missing what you needed most at home.

You grumbled and switched the phone screen back on. You were reluctant to disturb him at this time, especially because he was attending an exhibition in another city and you were not sure if he had returned yet. But you were upset and missed the times like this when he took care of you. Just before dialing his number, your phone rang.

"I've seen you online for a while. What's up? Can't sleep?"

Rafayel's voice rang out from the other end of the line, full of energy still. You just answered with a few short phrases, summarizing the current situation for him and told him that you were about to go out and get the necessary supplies.

"Just stay there." Rafayel stopped you. "Do not go anywhere. Wait for me."

You were a little confused why he had told you to stay home. But just now, you were too tired to have the strength to ask. Besides, you could not go out in this state, when you just wanted to faint on the floor.

You washed and changed into a new set of pajamas. Luckily, you found a spare sanitary pad left over in the closet that was sufficient for your needs. As soon as you got out of the bathroom, you heard the front door open. Rafayel appeared there, with a bunch of bags wrapped in both hands.

“How are you now? Does it still hurt?"

You shook your head, primarily to reassure him. But glancing at your pallid face, he knew you were lying. And you were taken aback when he arrived here, at this hour.

“Didn't you leave Linkon for the exhibition a few days ago?”

“That event was nothing special. I was on my way home when you called. I stopped to get you a few things before coming here.”

"Just a few things?" You gazed at the mound of items Rafayel had just purchased and set on the floor. "Why does it look like you bought everything in the store?"

Rafayel grinned at you. He softly aided you in getting down, leaning your back against the cushion and placing your feet on the couch. After that, he began taking out everything from those bags, which startled you a lot.

He had purchased you sanitary products in the form of pads, panties, tampons and even menstrual cups. One of each type and brand. There were also several pain relievers, vitamins and more. When he noticed your amazement, he said:

“Since I don't know which type you usually use, I bought one of each.”

Rafayel laughed. And you, even though your face was pale, felt so content due to his silliness.

“You could have just asked me.” You responded.

“I won't be able to see your surprised smile then. Since I've made you laugh, I must be a fantastic boyfriend, right?”

You slumped entirely back on the couch, still laughing but murmuring: "You must be a fantastic fool."

Lemurians' bodies are not like humans, you appreciated Rafayel's efforts to learn about your cycle and care for you in this manner. He plopped down on the couch next to you, lifted your legs and placed them on his lap. His slender hands rubbed them gently.

“Does it hurt a lot?”

You shook your head. “It doesn't hurt much. Just mild cramps.”

Rafayel nodded. He still remembered you often got cramps in your legs every time your period came. He continued massaging your legs before moving on to your tummy.

“What about this place?”

When your lower abdominal contractions resumed, you let out a tiny cry. Rafayel immediately withdrew his hand. “Sorry… Did I hurt you?”

“I-It's okay…” You tried to smile. “I'll probably feel better after a good rest.”

Rafayel's expression shifted slightly. His hand returned to your lower abdomen, continuing to gently rub it. “There you go again. Just say you're hurt when you're in pain. No need to try to act strong in front of me. Did you forget about our agreement last month? Whenever you have your period and are so weak like this, I will become your bodyguard.”

In the lying position, you could see half of Rafayel's face illuminated in the warm glow of the nightlight. His eyes were both concentrated and kind as he continued to ease the pain in your stomach. Suddenly, you couldn't help but jab your finger into his face. He pouted and puffed out both cheeks. Just like a puffer fish.

“Okay, it's all my fault. Now I will let Rafayel take care of me without worrying that I'd bother you.”

"Good. Even though I don't know how to take care of humans, I guarantee you'll be satisfied!”

Rafayel joyfully grasped your hand and kissed the palm to make it less cold. He continued rubbing your abdomen, singing a melody that put you at peace.

“Get some sleep. When you wake up tomorrow, I will still be here, right next to you.”

𝑿𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒆𝒓 

As a child, you imagined your knight arriving in shining armor on a white horse.

It turned out that your knight did not have a horse, but rather a white Hunter's uniform and a coat that he had just removed to wrap around your waist.

It happened when Xavier and you had just finished dealing with the Wanderers on the outskirts of Linkon City. Late at night, an unusual incident occurred. You hurriedly arrived to take on the task, unaware as that time of the month had come.

Perhaps you were too preoccupied with work to remember when your period would start. After finishing the task, you were dismayed to realize that the blood on your dress was not the blood of the Wanderers at all.

Xavier discovered it through your frightened eyes and trembling body. Immediately, he took off his coat, wrapped it around your waist to cover the blood stains, and even carried you a long way home on his back.

Your arms were wrapped around Xavier's neck, your face completely hidden in his shoulder. You felt so embarrassed to let him catch you in such a messy state. However, Xavier continued to soothe and console you. He said:

"It's not a problem at all. You don't need to be embarrassed about this very normal thing."

Even though it still did not feel right, you said nothing more. You were exhausted enough, and your aching body was screaming for a rest.

Xavier took you back to your apartment. You thanked him profusely and quickly went to take a shower. After that, sensing the silence outside, you assumed that Xavier had returned to his home. Unexpectedly, you caught a pack of painkillers on the table. Next to it was his phone.

You did not intend to peek, but because the phone screen was still on, you accidentally saw the content that Xavier was reading: How to take care of your girlfriend during her periods.

You chuckled to yourself. It turned out Xavier was learning how to take care of you. Then, his hand appeared out of nowhere to take the phone back.

“Are you done? Take your pill now."

Xavier gave you a cup of warm water. You smiled: "I thought you went home."

He slowly dropped himself into the seat next to you. “You are so hurt. How can I go home?”

"I'm alright. I'm going to sleep soon, tomorrow I'll feel better.”

Xavier did not seem to take your word for it. He grasped your hands.

“Aren't you going to be in pain for two or three days to a week?”

“Did you just read that on the internet?”

Xavier pondered for a time before nodding: “I... am not very familiar with these things. But I'll stay here until you feel better. Is that okay?"

You gave him a nod and a smile. Xavier got you a painkiller. After taking it he let you lean on the sofa, held your hands tightly, rubbed and breathed on them to bring some warmth.

After a while, your lower abdomen started to hurt. Xavier expressed concern as he noticed your expression:

“It hurts a lot, doesn't it? May I give you a massage?”

He waited for your approval with a nod before placing his hand on your tummy. He gently stroked it clockwise and inquired: "Is this better?"

You shook your head. One hand pointed to the lower abdomen, somewhat below where Xavier's hand was lying. “Here.”

“I see.”

Xavier's fingers went lower, causing you to flush slightly. Xavier said again:

“I only have two hands. One is warming your right hand, the other is massaging your belly. What should I do with your left hand?"

You gazed down at your hand. It wasn't chilly enough to warrant staying warm, but Xavier insisted on it. He also came up with a new idea:

“How about you put your left hand on me.”

You were astonished for a second. "Put it… on you?"

"Yes. Here..." Xavier raised his shirt slightly, showing his abdomen, and glanced at you with anticipation. You sheepishly placed your hand there, and he pulled his shirt down again. “Is it warm?”

You nodded, not sure what else to say. The warmth from his body made you feel heated within. Xavier proceeded to rub your hand and belly. Your hand, which had been put on his body for a short period of time, now became restless. It crept gently upward, to where you could feel his heartbeat quickening.

Xavier stared at you, considered for a time, then said nothing. Since he had let it slide, your hand glided down, past a layer of firm muscles, and then a bit further…

“If you continue to be so naughty, I'll get angry.”

Xavier leaned close to your ear and murmured, his tone irritated, but his gestures seemed to lean heavily on you.

Your fingers twitched slightly as you attentively watched Xavier's slightly furrowed expression. He went on to say: "When I'm angry, it will be quite terrifying. So be a good girl for me.”

Your hand, which was resting in Xavier's, was drawn to his lips as he pressed gentle kisses against it with heated breath. His eyes darkened somewhat; perhaps it was simply the light. You whispered an apology and returned your hand to its previous position. Xavier gazed at you with a small smile.

"If you're sleepy, just lean on me."

"Yes." You responded gently, placing your head on his shoulder and yawning loudly. No matter what the situation was, with him by your side, you would always be safe.

𝒁𝒂𝒚𝒏𝒆 

You were astonished when Zayne showed up at your door late at night after his shift. Seeing your pale and fragile appearance, he asked you to go to the bedroom for some rest. After faltering a few steps, you nearly collapsed to the floor.

Fortunately, Zayne's dominant arms caught you in time. With one quick movement, he lifted you up with ease.

“Put your arms around my neck.”

Zayne said, and you obediently followed. He carried you to your room, put you on the bed, and drew the blanket over you.

"Give me your hands." You placed your hands on his. Zayne stroked your hands briefly to warm them up before placing them beneath the blanket. "I will make you some tea. Remember to keep yourself warm."

You nodded sheepishly. Your eyes followed Zayne's wide back as it vanished beyond the bedroom door, and you wondered how he knew you were on your period.

You were not convinced this was a coincidence since Zayne prepared you a cup of jujube tea that he had brought with him. He used to give you that drink on days like this. He said it would make the pain less severe. And it was true.

"Drink this. Then eat the red dates, too."

Zayne handed you a cup of tea that he had just blown to cool down the heat. He sat down next to you on the bed. You ate a jujube, turned to look at him, and noticed his palm was already open in front of you.

“Spill it out here.” He said. You looked at him for a moment and then did what you were told. Zayne smiled with satisfaction, patted on your head, then took back the almost empty cup of tea from your hand to it on the night table.

“Feeling better?” Zayne inquired pleasantly as he assisted you in lying back on the bed. 

You smiled faintly and said:

“Just a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit better.”

He laughed at your childish behavior. “If it hurts too much, you'll have to go to the hospital.”

You frowned and shook your head vigorously.

“Don't want to? If so, you need to get a good night's sleep. When you wake up, you will definitely be better.”

You gently tugged on Zayne's arm, whispering: "So... Can I get special care from Dr. Zayne? That way I'll get better faster..."

He looked at you with smiling eyes then nodded. You shifted slightly to the opposite side of the bed, making room for him to lie next to you. He instructed. He said:

“Turn around. Then slightly bend your knees closer to your stomach.”

You did what he told you. Your back turned to him, and very soon, you felt the warmth from his body enveloping you.

Zayne embraced you from behind. One of his hands went under the pillow to lift your head up a bit, the other was placed on your stomach. His hand appeared to be large enough to cover your entire stomach. With a delicate touch, his hand began to travel in a circular rhythm on your lower belly.

At first, you felt ticklish and heated given the embarrassment caused by his touch. In addition, Zayne's steady breath was blowing on your hair from behind. He asked:

“Feeling better yet?”

"Yes." You replied softly. “Doctor Zayne's hand is so warm…”

You caught his quiet laughter. He pressed his body closer to you, while you just wanted to hide your face in the pillow. Then, you suddenly remembered what you had wanted to ask him just now:

“How did you know my period would start tonight? You even brought me tea.”

“Can you guess how?”

“Hmm… Let's see. You knew the exact date last month even though I didn't tell you about it... And the month before that too..."

Doctor Zayne allowed you to think about it for a minute. Zayne's knowledge of the days your menstrual cycle would start was most likely due to his perfect memory. Thinking about this, you turned around and his lips brushed your forehead.

"Eh…"

You froze for a second. Doctor Zayne gazed at you. He was so near that you forgot what you were about to say.

"You've got the answer yet?"

Your face became as crimson as the jujube tea. His breath danced over your cheeks as you responded:

“Um… I already knew the answer… Dr. Zayne is so busy, yet he still remembers my cycle?”

“I remember everything related to you.” Zayne spoke, his expression very serious and full of concern. You reluctantly turned aside.

"T-Thank you…"

You noticed Zayne's body pressing closer to yours. He buried his face in your hair and the nape of your neck, his hand continuing to rub your lower abdomen. He whispered:

“Get well soon. Although I hope that what makes you better is not painkillers or tea… but me…”

The corners of your mouth stretched out, smiling so widely that you could not close it. You grabbed his rough hand that was placed on your stomach and replied:

“Doctor Zayne has always been my elixir!”

𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒃

The door to your room opened in the middle of the night, and Caleb emerged, blocking the entire entrance. He was holding a hot compress bag, a glass of milk, and sanitary pads.

"I'm here to rescue you, Pipsqueak."

Caleb turned on the nightlight to see your pale face and unkempt hair. You were writhing on the bed, in anguish from your period. You could only send him a text message with the strawberry emoji and a sobbing expression. He arrived at your bedside about five minutes later.

He assisted you up, gave you some painkillers, and then pressed the hot compress bag on your stomach. You frowned.

"Do you need to be so harsh with someone who is sick?"

"It's on you for not listening to me. Even though you knew you were about to start your period, you still had the urge to drink lots of cold drinks. You only listen to me when you're in pain?"

You grimaced and rolled over on the bed. Due to your sudden movement, you got cramps in your shoulder blades. You cried loudly for help. Caleb just sighed in helplessness. He helped you lie upright again and rubbed your shoulders.

“If I'm not here, who would you whine to?”

Since you knew Caleb was home, you texted him. However, you did not say anything after that. The anguish had utterly drained you. Caleb couldn't stand to torment you any longer after knowing about your situation. He leaned you on his lap and helped you sip your pain reliever and warm milk. The hand on your back kept rubbing you.

"Is it so painful? "Can you try to get some sleep?"

You replied by shaking your head. Caleb patted you some more. "Then I will stay here with you. Okay?"

This time you nodded. Caleb drew you closer. He removed the hot compress bag from your tummy and began rubbing it with his hand. All of a sudden, your childhood came back, when you had your period for the first time and Grandma was not home; there was only Caleb. Even though you had learnt in advance that all girls would have to go through her period every month, you were nevertheless terrified when it arrived. Fortunately, Caleb was by your side. He raced to get sanitary pads for you, poured hot tea, and helped you warm your hands and feet.

At that time, you were really timid. And perhaps from there you saw the differences between you and Caleb. Both of you were no longer innocent children. This unusual feeling also steadily grew since. 

"Lucky you're here…" You whispered, a hand softly tapped on Caleb's.

"Of course. I'm always by your side, pipsqueak." He responded, then lavished you with several delicate kisses on your hair.

"Caleb… Don't disappear, okay?"

Surprised, he said, "Where can I disappear to?I still have to comfort you with your favorite meals tomorrow."

"Tomorrow…" You instantly recalled having a date with Caleb at the amusement park. But this unexpected menstrual cycle ruined that plan. "I'm sorry…"

"No problem." Caleb stroked you on the head. “You can compensate me another day. For now, you just need to rest well.”

“But I still feel like it's my fault… It's been a while since you could have a day off, yet we can't go out…”

Caleb smiled gently. He tucked your loose hair behind your ear. When he looked into your eyes, he said:

“If you're bored, we can watch the series you like together tomorrow. Or play some games.”

Upon hearing that, your mood brightened a little. You loved spending with Caleb, whether it was a date outside or just hanging out at home. They all brought joy to you.

Caleb placed a kiss on your forehead. He went on:

“Don't think too much about it. Go to sleep now so you'll have the strength to bother me again tomorrow."

You laughed. Caleb was always such a teaser, but that was the reason why you were so happy around him.

Coaxing you for a while, when you started to fall into a deep sleep, Caleb whispered softly in your ear:

“Being able to come home and be with my pipsqueak, that's the best kind of vacation for me.”

[olderthannetfic]

Hi OTNF and everyone,

I am finding that it's harder and harder and harder to get into anything - book, show, movie... most things seem, you know, to just not be doing it for me, be it fanfic or original stuff.

In part, I think, it's a general restlessness and that it's become harder to give anything enough time to get into the stories, the characters, the settings, the narrative voices... I guess you can call it attention deficit on my part, just a need for stories to deliver those sweet, sweet hits quickly, but they're not.

I'm not currently ficcing but I did for years (might again in the future, who knows), and it's made reading, specifically, harder. It's like I've become more aware of what goes on behind the scene, I guess? I feel like I can see the writer giving up on a sentence, skipping a scene because fuck this, trying hard to not repeat a word although it's the only one that fits, etc.

Or maybe it's just the *everything* around us in the world that is weighing on me too much? I could say it's adult life, but then again I have more free time than most (and boy do I need hours of doing nothing to survive the other hours), and no family/partner (all that would put even more pressure on me): what is wrong, to make everything so UGHHH?

I feel like I'm stuck in a rut with a brain moaning feed me, feeeed me, and whatever I try to give it, it spits everything out. (Yes, I've tried hobbies, and nothing sticks there either. I've never really found rewards or satisfaction there, so...)

Decades ago as a kid, I was a voracious reader, although studying literature took the pleasure of it away from me. It took time and discovering fanfic that brought me back to reading, but at the time the internet was starting to be a thing, too, and it can't have helped the attention thing. AFAIK I'm not ADHD but then again, I couldn't get a proper diagnosis (the therapists I saw were either dismissive or just about The Talking, which was pointless for me).

I just wonder how it all disappeared, you know? Sometimes I find something that catches my attention for a while - a book (but I read quite quickly when motivated), a fandom... but it's been a while now, and it's just so frustrating! When is it going to come back? Will it ever? *gulp*

I know that books were escapism when I was a child, and then fandom was escapism, but at the moment I find myself grabbing at air and my empty hands are mocking me. Give me my escapism baaaaack!

So, uh. Anyone here with me?

--

Yes.

I felt like that during part of lockdown. Anhedonia is common in those kinds of circumstances.

Getting your mojo back is certainly possible, but you may need to go see a professional about depression and have some chemical assistance (yes, even if you don't feel sad per se), or you may need to change your lifestyle to one that doesn't have the thing causing you to need eleventy billion hours of downtime.

Aside from serious interventions like that, you can consider a social media detox. Remove every source of doomscrolling and time wasting of that type. When the attention span is zero and nothing brings joy, the tiny and useless hits from finishing a game of solitaire or seeing one more instagram post become very attractive. This is a trap. It will suck what little energy and joy you have and make your muscles flabby for the work of getting into an in-depth book/hobby/experience.

I know the feeling of being able to see how the sausage is made, but... well... first, being in a better mental state will make that matter less, and second, reading prose that is more competent will make that less of an issue. A lot of mainstream tradpub genre fiction is not, in my opinion, very well written these days. Obviously, people are still enjoying it, and that's fine, but if you're noticing writers fumbling around, it might be time to check out some literary fiction or some other category known more for prose quality than anything else.

It's also important to have some structure and some things to look forward to. Even if you feel tired, overwhelmed, and busy, sometimes, the answer is to do more... But it must be things that are distinct and significant and that get you off of the couch, like going to one museum every weekend.

I saw some advice once about this kind of thing that phrased it as "One big adventure; one small adventure."

Every week, you should have those two things to look forward to that matter. Check out a new coffee shop. That could be the small one. Go to an event: a gallery opening, a concert, whatever.

Physical exercise and doing some things that aren't as verbal and conscious thought-involving is important too. Painting is a better hobby for zoning out than writing is. Taking long walks in nature is good for most people.

--

The kind of intense, obsessive love I had for reading as a child and that I sometimes have for fandom requires a lot of attention and some time. It's escapist, but that masks how much work it actually was. It didn't feel like work only because we were in training.

If you've filled your brain and your day up with a thousand petty annoyances or minor and useless attempts to feel something, you won't have the capacity for those deeper things.

Because you are already at a point that's equivalent to a bad sprained ankle, trying to get back to running right now won't work. You have to stay off of the ankle for a bit, then build your strength and stamina back up.

[ghxstlike]

in hiding

synopsis: he finds you crying and comforts you.

featuring: dan heng & aventurine (seperate)

content: sfw. comfort, pre-established relationship, dan heng has feelings for reader, tiny bit of flirting/compliments from aventurine, aventurine is kinda awkward, social anxiety (aventurine), anxiety attack (aventurine), reader’s gender isn’t specified, not proofread.

author's note: this is super self-indulgent lol. also this is the first time i’ve ever written these characters, so i apologize if they seem ooc! this also has been buried deep within my drafts- i finished this MONTHS ago….i felt too nervous to post it 😭 anywho, enjoy!

dan heng

you're another member of the astral express crew.

you've known dan heng enough to get the gist of his distant personality, even though you find him slightly intimidating.

you still managed to develop a crush on the guy, so he can't be that intimidating.

anyway, dan heng was tasked to go and 'fetch' you (pom pom's words) so all of you could eat dinner.

you’re usually in ‘his’ room, reading a book on his makeshift bed. when he enters said room and doesn’t see you, he grows a little worried.

in fact, now that he thinks about it, he hasn’t seen you in days. now, he’s really worried.

the only other place that you'd be is in your room.

when he finds you in your room, his heart sinks.

intensely worried about you the moment he realizes you're crying.

type of guy to immediately jump into action. he's not aggressive about it, no, he's gentle.

softly sits beside you where you're on your bed, his hand reaching out to touch you while asking to do so.

if you say no, he obviously listens to your wishes. would not want to harm you or make you uncomfortable while you're in this state.

he sits there, watching you cry in silence. it's a little awkward, having him watch you cry, but he doesn't know what else to do. he doesn't want to ruin anything.

he says a few things to try and calm your crying down.

"let it all out."

"it's okay, you're safe."

"i'm here for you."

if you say yes, his hand comes up to rub your back gently, making you scoot closer to him. also says comforting words in this moment as well.

after you're done crying, he listens intently if you start to talk about what is bothering you.

man's just wants you to feel better.

"i'm sorry," you mumble, wiping your snot with the back of your hand. you don't see it, but dan heng shakes his head while he smiles softly at you.

"no need to apologize." his deep, monotone voice instantly calms your nerves. "crying can be helpful to some. don't worry about it." he places a hand on your head, ruffling your hair ever so slightly. you sigh, then sniffle. even though he said it was okay, you still feel a little ashamed at yourself. you almost feel embarrassed. you sort-of know what you look like while crying, and you know it isn't pretty. your heart soars with discomfort as you realize that dan heng has witnessed you at one of your lowest moments in life.

"gosh, i probably look like a mess right now." you croak out, a dry laugh following short after. you try to wipe the dried tears off your cheeks but to no avail. you'll have to wash it off with some cold water later. you hear dan heng hum, which catches your attention. your eyes look into dan heng's. you notice how dan heng's blue eyes soften at your stare.

dan heng's hand reaches out to a strand of hair that's in the way of your face, pulling it back behind your ear. you feel your face heat up, and your heart skips a beat at the intimate eye contact. you notice how dan heng’s face is in a similar predicament to yours; a light pink blush covers his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

"you don't," he whispers. "you're beautiful."

aventurine

guy doesn't know how to comfort other people.

type of person to let the person cry it out by themself, then come back later with gifts.

i've seen a headcanon where aventurine is bad at comforting other people due to his past trauma and i truly believe it.

aventurine can rarely take stuff seriously, what makes you think he can comfort someone?

anywho. he finds you curled up into a ball in an alleyway in penacony. he heard the sobs come from a mile away and was curious at what the sound was.

he honestly thought it was a stray cat.

he's seen you around before. yeah, he remembers! you walked up to him at the bar and complimented his outfit, telling him he looked like a peacock.

he thought that it was very cute when you blushed, explaining you didn't mean to say that outloud and kept apologizing.

but now here you are, sitting on the gross ground of the alleyway with your chin propped up on your knees, crying your eyes out.

aventurine bites his lip, trying to figure out if he wants to help you or just leave you alone.

but that's when you placed your hand flat on your chest, and he noticed how you began to breathe heavily.

he knows exactly what's happening, and he can't leave you alone now.

"hey, breathe. you need to breathe."

you hear a somewhat familiar voice call out to you, but it seems so far away. you don't understand what he says and try to brush it off. though, he doesn't go away. his legs are in your line of sight, and he doesn't seem to be moving. you watch as he crouches down, his hands shakily reach towards yours.

"i'm gonna touch you, okay?" he gulps, almost flinching at the skin-to-skin contact. you don't answer, you just continue to hyperventilate as your wide eyes dart across the environment around you. the man seems to notice this and blocks your field of vision with his face.

"y-you- you're-" you try to get out, but all you can manage is a few hiccupped mumbles. the man in front of you smiles.

"hi again." you can clearly hear his smooth voice now. "can you take a deep breath for me? i'll do it with you." you nod, looking into his multi-colored eyes. they're so pretty.

you follow his actions- breathe in for 4 seconds, pause for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds. you both repeat this a few more times until your breath doesn't sound choppy or uneven.

silence overcomes the two of you. your eyes glance down at your intertwined hands, then back up at the man in front of you. suddenly realizing he's still holding your hands; he quickly drops them from his grasp while clearing his throat.

"you alright?" he says softly. his eyes glance down at your body, trying to see if you're hurt anywhere. your words interrupt him.

"no, i'm fine now," you sniffle. "thank you, um.." you pause, waiting for the man to give you his name.

"aventurine. it's no problem." aventurine shrugs. he stands up quickly, holding a hand out for you to take. "now, can i get you a drink? you must be dehydrated." his gloved fingers wiggle slightly, encouraging you to take his hand.

he grins down at you, "you can also tell me why you were sobbing in the alleyway." you chuckle at his words.

without another thought, you take aventurine's hand.

[suugarbabe]

I had just gotten the cutest fluffiest tooth rotting sweet idea for a fanfic I've ever gotten.

You know how there is a type of color blindness called red green color blind? It's basically green turns to yellow and red to brown and well fellow and blue stay the same.

So what if reader is red green color blind and her favorite color is blue since it's the only special color she can see and since Theo's eyes are blue when she sees his eyes she gets really excited, wi excited that she just grabs Theo's face so she can get a better look.

I feel like the reader need to have a cherry and bubbly personality because she needs to be very very clueless to just grab someone's face because of how exited she would get.

i've quite literally been obsessed with this ask since you've sent it, and i've gone back and forth on how to write it completely, then went through a little bit of writers block altogether so hopefully i do this justice and close to how you might have envisioned it.

You were really young when it happened, the accident that caused it. Mum was proficient in potions, and you just wanted to be just like her. But a four year old really shouldn't have been messing with her things. It all happened so fast, your little mind just thought you were playing, copying what you've seen her do. Throwing a little of this and a little of that in the cauldron, pouring the pretty blue liquid inside. You had picked it because it was your favorite color, which, looking back seems incredibly ironic.

The explosion was quick but it shook your entire house. Your parents had come rushing in, only to find you sitting up against the far wall, eyebrows gone and lower lip quivering. It has taken about six months before anyone was aware of what it did to you. You were so young and the experience was, well, pretty traumatic so you never really said anything about the changes.

Everyone thought you consistently picked the blue things because it was your favorite color. And while that was slightly true, it was also the only color you were able to see completely. You could occasionally see very dull shades of other colors, extremely muted or like you were seeing them through a layer of grey tissue paper.

Your parents never made too big of a deal out of the situation, instead just teaching you how to by hyper vigilant for specific details you could notice to help you out. Like the difference in how a ruby felt to an emerald, or how gum root smelled versus hickory drip. So overall you had learned to manage. And truly you didn't think you were missing out on much.

In your opinion all of the best things were blue. The ocean on a bright summers day, the sky on a crisp fall morning, the shine on a sapphire, and of course, your Ravenclaw robes. Your 'condition' was spread throughout the school by Christmas holiday your first year. It wasn't something you kept a secret, but it also wasn't something you spread around like you'd won the quidditch world cup.

It didn't bother you that people knew, but it did change how some people saw you. When you were younger, they tried to tease you, tried to call you a freak, tell you that you wouldn't amount to much as "you'd never be successful with such a limitation." It's a wonder what a loving family and supportive friends can do to keep one grounded and happy. As despite all those negative words in your early years, you were still so bright and bubbly.

You had gotten used to how you viewed things a long time ago, but that didn't stop you from being marveled at new discoveries. Which is what had you following a very tall and lanky Slytherin boy down the hall. You had noticed it by accident, as he passed you in the hall. You knew who he was, were well aware of his and his little gang's reputation. But you liked to form your own opinions from experience, and you hadn't quite interacted with this particular member yet.

Your friends had called after you, but after seeing the determined pep in your step had just settled for following. When you had finally caught up to him you wrapped your arms around his bicep, spinning him round to face you. "What the-," he was cut off by your hands grabbing hold of either side of his face, delicate thumbs resting on his sharp cheek bones to hold him still.

"Merlin, Theo, your eyes they're...gods they're like water colors." Theo was thoroughly caught off guard. Not only by the pretty girl holding his face but by the words coming from her mouth. "Oh sweet Rowena, they've just shifted, what are you thinking about?" He did his best not to stutter, "Erm, I...," you could feel his cheeks heat beneath your palm and your smile was instant, "I've not heard that description before. Usually they just say like the ocean or the sky or whatever."

Your thumbs rubbed gently on the apples of his cheeks. "Oh, they're much more than that. They're like...when you first dip your brush into the prettiest pallet after a dip in the water, then when you make the first brushstroke, and the color spreads so perfectly, shifting hues of blue. That's them...your eyes."

No sooner had you finished your explanation were his lips on yours. It was unexpected, catching you off guard but not unpleasantly. His mouth slotted against yours seemingly effortlessly, your hands slipping form his cheeks to loop around his neck and his hands found solace on your waist. His eyes are what drew you in but his lips, merlin you could get used to those.

"Oi, Nott. Who're ya-," The interruption caused the two of you to break apart abruptly, you wiping your slightly swollen lips and straightening where Theo was gripping your skirt. "Oh, no fucking way," Enzo Berkshire's voice sounded as smug as the look on his face. Theo simply threw up his middle finger at the boy before turning to you, small grin on his face.

"Erm, sorry for bombarding you like that its just-," You shook your head, cutting him off, "S'okay." Theo's grin grew two times, "Can I see you this weekend? Coming to the Slytherin party?" You nodded, biting your bottom lip to try and contain your growing smile. Theo placed a kiss on your forehead before looking you in your eyes, more so so you could see his one last time. Then with a wink, he turned and ran to catch up with his friend.

[diaslust]

heyoo 😭 i never requested before but could you do ex!choso with a reader he thought was flirting with someone? smut or nott i dint care I JUST NEED MY GLORIOUS KING🙌

— ࿔‧ ֶָ֢˚˖𐦍˖˚ֶָ֢ ‧࿔ —

EX!CHOSO PUNISHES YOU AFTER FLIRTING WITH A STRANGER . . . ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

warning/what's included: ex!choso, switch!choso, finger fucking, nipple pinching + twisting, semi-public sex, fem!reader, punishment sex, spit play, praise kink, hair pulling, bareback sex, whimpering/whiny choso 😫, pet names, NSFW ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹

summary: ex!choso sees you talk with another stranger, noticing that they’re trying to take you home. flirting with you. he stops the conversation really quickly, and decides to punish you in the club bathroom for flirting with another man.

wc: 4.5k

a/n: i love ex!choso/dom!choso he's so amazing. if you can't tell i want dom!choso. also.... couldn’t tell if you wanted dom!choso...so just did him. he literally brainrots my mind. ((pls pls ignore if there’s spelling/grammatical errors it’s like 3 am)) ++ YES choso is my glorious beautiful vulnerable KING. thanks for requesting, anon! (hopefully you’re okay with fem!reader) i loved writing this :3 hope this is good enough for you ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

BE WARNED AND ENJOY ♡

𐙚⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ᡣ𐭩⋆.𐙚⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ᡣ𐭩⋆.𐙚⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ᡣ𐭩⋆.𐙚⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ᡣ𐭩⋆.𐙚⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚

you scoff, seeing that being at the club with your friends in order to get over choso didn't help. at all.you ask the bartender for another drink, hoping it'd let you forget him. 

"hey beautiful," you turn to see who the unfamiliar voice belonged to. it was a man, trying to hit you up. for fucks sake, was god finally on your side now? 

"hey," you reply warmly, just as you get your second drink.

while you talk with the stranger trying to flirt with you, you don't notice that your ex, choso kamo, is there too. it was purely coincidence that he was there too, as he was at the club trying to not think of you too. "for fucks sake," he grumbled under his breath. women swayed and grinded on the dancefloor, but none of them caught his attention as much as you did. your hair was utterly gorgeous, and he couldn't stop thinking on how he used to tug on it while he pounded you from the back. and jesus, how he wished to snatch you from that man's arms and fuck you right in front of him. he was already so hard, yet you haven't even touched him yet.

"so, yeah, i- i golf with my dad and, uh- corporate-rich leaders," the stranger said. he already had such an obnoxious character. you lazily nodded, sipping your drink. you also knew that this man was such a pushover. well, what did you expect? he had, like, a 5 minute rant about him investing in crypto and bitcoin a few months ago and his bank account tanked. did he seriously think this was appealing to you at all? i mean, do you look like the type of person to enjoy that shit? you weren't drunk at all, but you wished you were so you could call a cab and get the fuck out of here. 

"so, i've been meaning to ask you," he said. "do you wanna… well… get out of here? i can take you to my house and we can... well, you know," he smirked.

jesus, his ego was so high. “you know, you’re—“ 

"no, she won't be doing that," a deep voice rumbled from behind you. wait, is that..?

"yo, dude, stop trying to cockblock here. she's clearly interested," the man laughed, but you knew he was completely pissed off behind that cheerful demeanor.

is that fucking CHOSO??

"she is not interested, as she is my girlfriend. now fuck off," your ex replied harshly. he turned to you, completely ignoring the protests of the man clearly trying to fuck you. "let's go, now," 

you were going to hesitantly accept the man’s request to fuck after like 15 minutes of meeting because you wanted to stop thinking of choso. but when choso was there, you felt so much more.. safer. you wanted choso to feel your warm body, to tie your hair intimately in the late of night. you nod, happily hopping off the stool, gripping his hand tightly. choso leads you to another part of the club, where it was slightly more quieter than the dancefloor. the music from the dancefloor still poured through every crack in the club, but it wasn't as loud now. he releases his grip on your hand quickly.

"what were you doing with that man?" choso asked, folding his arms together. his muscles really showed in that shirt. youquickly smirk.

"choso. kamo. we aren't dating anymore. do you seriously think-"

"do you seriously think i would ever get over you?" he interrupted, a flush of pink faintly appearing on his cheeks. a ghost of a smile flashed on your face, but you were still pissed at him for a potential good night of sex. though, really, did you think the bitcoin-loving man would give you a good time? nope.

"choso, you still-- you ruined a night of.. well," you whined. 

"i don't care if we're exes, i would still love you. even in the afterlife," replied the stubborn, dark-haired man. 

you glance away, trying to hide your red face. "c-choso. don't-"

choso held a rough hand on your waist and brought you closer. "you know you want to be touched again by me, just say the words and i'll do it," he tugged you even closer, whispering it in your ear. 

"i- i want you to touch me, choso," you mutter. 

"say that again, baby," choso smiled, and you already knew he had a hard-on. 

"i want you to.. to touch me, choso," you hid your face away in embarrassment, but you already felt his hand sliding over to your breasts, gingerly fondling your nipples through the fabric of your clothes.

"fuck, you don't know how long i've wanted this," he muttered. 

it felt like it was only you and him in that room. 

"choso- wait, can we go to the bathroom or something..?" 

"of course, baby," he whispered in your ear. 

you both sneak away from the loud music, from the strong smell of alcohol. you both go into the girls' bathroom and check the stalls to see if anyone is inside. while checking the last one, you hear the lock click in the girls bathroom.

"fuck choso, where'd you get the keys for the girls bathroom to?" 

choso turns, leaning on the bathroom wall. "i have friends, who have friends, who have friends. you get the gist," smirking, he walks closer to you pushing you closer near the sink. 

“choso, are you sure about this..? i— people could hear us, people might need to pee, they—“

choso shushed you, smushing his lips onto yours. you immediately melt into the kiss, grasping his head and bringing him closer. you travel across the girls bathroom, until finally bumping into the sink, yelping into his mouth. but you didn’t care. even if he was trying to stop the kiss, you shook your head. you were fine. all you needed was him. the touch of him. the smooth, silky feeling of his black hair, the look in his eyes when you agreed to something. 

“all i need is you, choso,” you utter. apparently, you were thinking out loud and hadn’t noticed that choso heard you. 

“you need.. who, baby?” he asks. he already knew the answer, but he wanted to hear you again. even after breaking up, he still loved the way you spoke to him. so gentle, so lovingly, so kind. after decades of harsh tones and yelling, he finally understood what it felt like to be loved. 

“wait, i— i didn’t mean to say that out loud,” you laughed. but he didn’t care.

“say it again,” he repeated. 

“i— fine.” you cleared your throat, tugging his tie, and raising yourself to his ear: “all i need, all i fuckingwant, is you, choso,” he tensed at your words, immediately bringing one of his arms to lift you onto the bathroom sink. 

“hey—“ you looked up at him, blinking confusedly. 

“tell me that you want me, tell me you want me to touch you,” choso said between his teeth.

“choso i already—“ 

“i. don’t. care. i— missed you saying that to me. , please tell me that again,” choso looked away, his jaw clenched. you were heartbroken. your breakup did affect the both of you. 

“i want you, choso kamo, to fuck me again,” you whisper. he looked back at you, his deep purple eyes searching for a hint of a lie in a sea of truth in yours.

“what— really?” he said, smiling sheepishly. 

“really,” you giggle. 

“then take it off,” 

“take.. what off?” you reply. 

“your shirt. and your bra,” 

“wow, you really love me don’t you,” you joke, smiling. choso’s face was neutral. 

you sigh, but you enjoyed it. “alright, then,” you slowly start sliding off your shirt, arching your back. you look up at him, towering over your body. he folded his arms, blinking. 

“the shirt’s off,” you say. now it was just you in your bra and skirt. 

“would you like to do the honors, choso?” you smile, signaling to your bra. choso’s taken aback, but he agrees silently. he moves closer towards you, bringing you to hugging distance. you hear the unclip of your bra, and he’s already feeling up your breasts. 

“fuck, i’ve missed you so, so much,” he groans softly. the dark-haired man starts rimming your right breast’s nipple and pinching the left’s nipple. he’s kissing and sucking your neck, making you moan a bit too loudly.

“s—shit! where—where’d you learn how to do this?” you breathe, a sweat breaking on your forehead. choso smirks against your neck. “i wanted to try something new with you,”

“i— wait,” you cry out, just as he twists your nipples.

“no, let me be in control of you for today,” he declares. 

“f—fuck, not like this,” you whine. 

“so you want me to stop?” 

“…no,” you throw your head back, already heavily breathing.

he stops touching your left tit and starts slowly taking off your skirt and panties. he starts going on his knees and biting the underwear off.

“choso, holy shit,” you say, out of instinct. you were too busy focusing on him pinching and squishing your breast to focus on what he was doing at the moment. he stands back up and starts unbuckling his pants and unbuttoning his shirt. he lets go of your chest, and you look down on his bulge. fuck, you forgot how large it was. you look back at him, and he’s so precise, so focused with what he’s doing you don’t notice his tip is already at the entrance of you. you yelp, looking down at his dick.

“fuck, i— i forgot how big you were,” you stutter, embarrassed at the fact. 

“okay then, i’ll sink in slowly. inch after inch,” he sank himself deeper into you, and you had to grasp his shoulder. you felt as if your heart staggered, waited until he was finally in. 

“f—fuck! slower, slower, slower,” you pant. your body tenses from his dick. oh god, how long has it been? you already felt yourself stretching so much from him. you both watched, whining and grunting, as your ex slowly slid himself into you. 

once he was fully in you, he grunted. “i’m- i’m gonna start moving now, okay baby?” you nodded vigorously. anything to feel him again. 

“oh, god— yes, yes,” moaning loudly, you grip on the sink’s edges and leave groove marks on his shoulder. you felt like such a slut, whoring yourself out for choso but it felt amazing. 

“you’re taking me so good baby, fuck— so good,” your ex whimpered. you raised your legs, crossing them on his waist while he increased his pace. it all felt so fucking great, you just couldn’t get enough of choso. 

“more, more, please,” you beg, throwing your head back desperately. your knuckles grew white from gripping the sink so tightly, and you felt yourself clenching from the burden in your pussy. you felt nothing else other than pleasure, grinding on his cock and rolling your eyes back so harshly. your orgasm was so fucking close. and you knew his was close too, but you just wanted him to fuck your brains out in so many positions. 

“fuck, yes, such a good girl,” he whined, increasing his pace. “look how your pussy takes me, baby. it’s like you’re fucking made for me.” you felt the club music on the sink, the vibration thrumming through your veins. you wanted to stay like this forever. yousaw his brows furrow together in pleasure, and oh my god he looked so beautiful. you fluttered your eyes closed, allowing yourself to relax and let him fuck you. 

“fuck— more, more, more, more,” you rambled, your mouth agape out of pleasure. his rough movements against you and the sound of his balls slapping your ass was so loud, so good. you were surprised someone wasn’t banging on the door trying to piss or throw up. fuck, even to have sex just like you too were doing. even though the club music was loud, you heard choso’s heavy breathing and whimpering over it and that made you throb for him so much harder. you let go of the sink, quickly grasping onto his shoulders. suddenly, you heard him spit into his fingers and start rubbing your clit. 

“ch—choso,” you popped your eyes open. “what are you— fuck!” 

“y—yes, baby?” he grunted, focused on making you cum. 

“do that again,” you smile. “that was so fucking hot,” the ecstasy of him and the sweat breaking out on his forehead was just enough for you. choso grunts, faintly smiling. you heard the sound of his spit again and starts stroking your clit again. your legs shake roughly against his waist out of the pure emotion of sex. was this how it felt? to be fucked so well? you heard him panting, rambling about how good you felt, how tight you were. 

“f—fuck- i think- i think i’m gonna come,” choso swallows. you chest heaved, your tits bouncing from him constantly pounding into you. 

“i’m gonna come,” you scream, leaving bright-red scratch marks on his back. 

“f-fuck, i think i’m gonna come too,” he whimpered loudly. you felt yourself spitting out cum from your pussy, and he quickly pulls out, webs of thick white escaping his cock. his breathing gradually slowed, and you slowly escaped from nirvana to focus on him. his sweaty face, his beautiful sweaty body, his pink lips spreading into a beautiful, soft smile.

you panted, “i fucking love you,” 

choso pinched your nipple and replied: “i love you too, baby,” 

𐙚⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ᡣ𐭩⋆.𐙚⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ᡣ𐭩⋆.𐙚⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ᡣ𐭩⋆.𐙚⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ᡣ𐭩⋆.𐙚⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚

[armpirate]

Better than fiction | Choi San

Bf experience

pairing: Idol!Choi San x fem!reader

w.c.: 4.4k

Warnings: Smut, rough sex, oral sex (female and male receiving), masturbation (female receiving), protected sex, hair pulling, choking, dirty talk, dom!San x sub!reader. (Minors DNI! Refrain from reading if you're not +18, and ignore if you don't like this type of content).

Summary: You never thought what your boyfriend's reaction to you writing fanfic would be like, but you certainly didn't expect him to end up so jealous of himself to end up making your fantases come true

Aprox. time of reading: 19 minutes

MASTERLIST

Your blood stopped running for a few seconds. You could feel the way some parts of your body went numb, only keeping your attention on the live San started not that long ago, and that you decided to hear because his voice just had that calming effect on you. It didn't matter if it was through video call, audio messages, or those lives. You could hear him talking for hours and feel at ease all the time it lasted.

Except that day.

The way he made an understanding sound, followed by a scoff, that reached the deepest side of your brain, had you almost sitting at the edge of your bed, holding your phone with your two hands. The clicking sounds of his keyboard were the only thing that could be heard, while the chat went crazy, trying to distract him from his own curiosity.

There was a thick silence that made you aware of how hard you gulped, moving over the bed, feeling uncomfortable whatever the position it was.

"I see you, guys, are having fun" he teased with a honeyed voice.

That mocking tone, and the chuckle he let out after had you silently screaming, covering your mouth with the palm of your hand.

Even if he didn't know you were part of that small group of people that loved living in delululand, although you were already in your personal fanfic every day with him, you felt exposed, more like you'd never been before. It felt like you were caught doing something wrong, even if San wasn't speaking to you directly.

You didn't know how long you stayed in your bed, laying on your back as you stared at the ceiling. Only thing you were hoping for was that San didn't bring it up the next time you saw each other.

Basically because you were bad at lying, but San was also great at noticing when you lied to him.

You raised your phone to your face after feeling it buzz, biting your lip when you were aware of his name popping up at the top of your screen.

Sannie: Babe, did you watch the live? You didn't comment today...

You could imagine him pouting, with his lips pursed while he gave a lost kitten look to his screen. And he probably would've used his thinner voice if he had said that out loud directly to you.

Usually, you'd always leave a few comments. At first it started because you just liked teasing him, and seeing him getting nervous when your username showed up in the middle of the livestream. But it ended up being something he got used to, to the point of wondering if something happened to you if you didn't do it.

You: I did! But I was busy with work, so I just heard it while doing other things.

Sannie: Oh. Do you want me to go see you tomorrow better, then?

You: Nope, come here! You owe me a lot of cuddles

Sannie: I've only been away for a week...

You: Even a day is too much. Come here when you're done, pleaseeee.

San smiled when he looked at his screen, imagining your squared smile as you tried to convince him to go to your place for cuddles. Not like he needed much to be convinced, just the idea was convincing enough, but it was always cute to see him react like that -mainly because it was something you barely did.

"We're gonna order some food. Do you want anything?" Seonghwa's head peeked through his door.

San shook his head, not even trying to hide his playful smile as he got up from his chair "I'm going to Y/n's, so don't wait for me".

"Who's ever waited for you, any way?" Mingi teased, showing up in the corridor.

"I do" Seonghwa replied, looking back with an obvious expression.

Mingi rolled his eyes "He never leaves the house unless it's to see Y/n. And we know he never sleeps in when he goes to see her".

"Send a text when you get there" Seonghwa asked him, ignoring the boy behind him.

"And tell Y/n we said hi. You're gatekeeping her" Mingi complained, continuing his way to his room.

San simply smiled at that, pleased with the way all the members grew closer to you the longer your relationship went on. It always worried him that his friends and his significant other wouldn't get on well, but with you it was an automatic click.

Could be it was that you had that type of personality that molded into everyone else's easily, finding a bit of your humor and comfort in each one of the members. And while it sometimes made San jealous, deep inside he genuinely appreciated it.

You smiled widely when, after fifteen minutes, San knocked on your door with his arms opening big as soon as you stood in front of him. His arms wrapped around your waist, squeezing you to his body and lifting you a few centimeters in the air before he was moving you back inside, kicking the door with his foot to close it.

"Did you shower?" after digging your nose in his neck, you could recognize the floral scent of his gel, which you loved.

Whenever that smell got into your system, your first reaction was to snuggle to him and hide your face on his chest. It really seemed like he got ready for those cuddles that night.

Not leaving you on the floor, but making you stand on your tiptoes over his feet -only covered with his white socks-, he started walking through the short corridor. "Yup, we had a schedule today. And I didn't want to go around all sweated" he tilted his head. "By the way, the boys say hi".

"It's been a while since I last saw them" you sighed. "Are you gatekeeping them from me?".

San rolled his eyes at that question, confirming that, in fact, you did spend too much time with them all during that year and a half.

"No, I'm gatekeeping you from them" he replied, stealing a peck from you. "Now seriously, we could plan something for the next time you're free" he suggested, stopping in the middle of your living room.

"Sure" you nodded, tapping his biceps so he'd finally let you stand on the floor again. "I'll prepare some snacks, why don't you look for something to watch".

His hands carefully put you back on the floor, while his lips were together as he saw your body disappearing behind the white door to your kitchen. He groaned, slowly taking a seat on the couch, resting his head over the backrest for a few seconds.

When he looked to his left, he could see that small surprise you prepared for him two weeks back, unable to control his thoughts as he remembered the weekend you spent together, barely moving from that corner before he left for the festival.

It was the physical reminiscence of how lucky he was to have you.

Your phone buzzed on the coffee table, having him lifting his head to look at it for a quick second before he went back to the relaxed position.

Until it finally hit him. He forgot his back in the dorm, which meant Seonghwa would be ranting at him for not announcing he arrived well, and for being careless enough to leave the house without the cell.

"Love, can I send a message through your phone? I left mine at the dorm".

"Sure" you mentioned, still places all the gummies and the cookies on a plate. "No, wait-" it was the only thing you were able to say when realization hit you.

Although you ran as fast as you could, it was already too late. Peeking over San's shoulder, you could see that he wasn't in your chats, but scrolling down a really different page. His first idea was to send the text and move on, but the notification at the top caught his attention.

You never hid your fan side. He knew you were part of the fandom as soon as you started dating, even before, so it wasn't anything new for him to hear you using Twitter slang sometimes, and knowing about some things long before he did. But that day there was an app he didn't recognize, with an ask from an anonymous person seemingly freaking out after what happened in the livestream that took place some hours back.

Time to close it all now. San will expose us to the rest of the members and, like that one, several other posts.

"Give it to me" but San moved faster, getting up from the couch to move the phone away from you.

"San x Y/n?" he frowned, scrolling down your page through some of the most recent one-shots you had posted.

He looked over some of the details, smirking when he noticed you chose the pictures where he looked best to top the stories that would come under them.

"For your own sake, stop reading" you asked, finally snitching the phone from his hands and hiding it on your back.

"Since when do you write fanfics?".

"You mean about you, or in general?".

"There's been others?" his eyebrows raised, but you could tell by the way he was smiling that he was just mocking you for your reaction. "Why are you so embarrassed? It's probably cute".

"No, it's not" you assured, scoffing after that confirmation.

"What? You paint me like a douchebag or something? Are they sad stories?" his head tilted to the side, with his smirk slowly dropping at that idea.

"No, they're actually fun for the people that read them" you muttered.

"I won't judge you. Honestly, if this is important for you, I want to know what it is".

Ever since you started dating there was nothing that he liked more than learning things about you, and adding them to his life just to make you happy. If you liked a cake with a certain flavor, he'd always manage to have it for any celebration you two made. If you liked one song in particular, he'd learn it and sign it to you, or add it to his playlist so you'd listen to it when you're together. Every small detail counted for him, and whatever it was you were hiding on your back was no different from all those things.

"They aren't sad stories. Cute neither" you nervously stated.

"Horror stories, then?" he frowned.

You shook his head, handing the phone to him "They're... explicit" you summed up.

San looked confused when he took your phone, clicking over one of the short stories. Seeing the warning in red had him gulping thick "dom!San, choking, spitting, rough sex...", eyeing you up quickly before he looked down at your screen again.

It was weird to read about himself in that context, never thinking he'd end up doing it, and even less because it came from you. When he found out earlier that evening that fans were writing that type of content, he wasn't entirely surprised, but it didn't cross his mind the idea of you being part of that niche. However, there he was, supporting his weight on his lower back -which was laying against the backrest of the thick armchair in front of your couch- while he read through one of the stories.

His heart pumped against his chest, a bit harder with every line he read. Every description, every detail, everything was so realistic yet seemed so unreal at the same time. He could almost touch the sexual tension between the two characters, before the San of the fanfic forced the main character into a rough sloppy kiss that almost made his knees tremble.

He could feel your eyes on him. And the only thing he was hoping for is that it wasn't as evident how much he liked what he was reading, while he hawked when his throat went suddenly dry at the roughness that was represented in the fanfic.

"I can delete it all" you assured him. "I will..."

"Do you like this?" he interrupted you, finally lifting his gaze to yours. "Are you into being treated like that?".

"Well, I don't know" you hesitated, confused by his question. "It's just fiction" you shrugged, stepping towards him.

"No, Y/n. Be honest. Do you think our sex boring?".

Fiction sex was blatantly different from your real sex. On fiction sex you were able to dig on those kinks you didn't know you had, but that had your whole body burning just at the thought of doing them with San. While real sex was just you two, loving each other.

"What? No" you stepped towards him, cupping his face with your hands. "They're just dumb stories I write when I'm bored".

"Or when you're horny" he muttered.

"Look, they're just fantasies, that I didn't even try. I like the idea of them, because I think it'd be hot, but that's it"

"Why didn't you tell me you liked that?"

"Because I don't want you to feel uncomfortable with it".

Despite his looks, San was the most gentle and careful person you had ever met. He'd stop the whole thing if something that he thought would hurt you or bother you happened, and you appreciated that. You loved the way he looked after you in every single aspect of your relationship. That was why you never mentioned the idea of having him spanking you, and even less choking you through sex. It'd be crossing a limit for him, and just like San took care of you when you had sex, you wanted to take care of him.

"So you do want to try it?" he asked, lifting one of his eyebrows.

After licking your lips, and softly pressing them, you ended up nodding shyly, lowering your gaze to your feet.

Something about that story didn't allow him to think straight. Maybe it was the way he could imagine you squirming and twisting with pleasure, or how loud and desperate your moans would sound -when usually they were little whispers you gifted to his ear. Or could be it was the slightest glimpse of jealousy he felt over the San in the fan fiction, who was able to pleasure his girlfriend better than he did.

He didn't give you time to react, holding your wrist before he dragged you to your bedroom. You had no time to process anything that was happening, before he made you turn on your feet and make your lips collide. San was demanding, moving your lips over yours, not giving you any other choice than trying to keep up with his pace as he held your neck with his two hands, slightly letting his fingertips dent on your skin.

A moan burned your throat when his tongue sneakily moved between your lips, meeting yours for a brief second before he was dominating the way they twirled, having your core begging for him in a matter of seconds.

He left you hanging in the middle of a fast breath, turning you around so your back was stuck to his hard chest. His hands traced the curve of your waist, with your knees trembling at the soft touch as his fingers kept moving up, taking with them the thin fabric of your old t-shirt. Once the piece of clothing was gone, his palms covered your exposed breasts, making your back arch almost perfectly.

There was something so strange at being controlled that way, or feeling like you didn't have to worry about anything because San knew perfectly what to do. And you loved it. You could feel the pool in your panties as time went by slowly, and the way your heart raced in your chest when his fingers pinched your nipples before he went back to pressing your tits with his palms.

"Did you ever touch yourself thinking about this, hmm?" his voice sounded unrecognizable. It was harsh and raspy, making its way to your guts and clicking to one part of your brain that almost made you moan the answer.

San didn't know if he wanted to know. He could understand you touching yourself because he was away, but because he wasn't pleasuring you like he should? He couldn't deal with that.

He didn't let you answer. As he saw the way you gulped and took a deep breath to let him know, his hand flew to your covered pussy, sliding his fingers over it until it was completely covered by his palm.

You desperately seeked for his lips, this time starting the sloppy kiss. Trying to keep your balance while standing on your tiptoes, while your head went in circles was suddenly the most difficult task.

Although you knew San had you.

He grinded against you, letting you feel his growing bulge against your ass while his hand slipped inside your panties. He wasn't able to hold back the moan when your wetness coated his fingers as soon as he slid them through your slit, just being able to think of how good his cock would slip in and out of you with barely any effort.

"Can you feel how hard you made me, babe?" the circles on your clit were barely leaving any room for your brain cells to work properly, although you were still able to pick up some of the things he said. "Time for you to do something about it, right?"

Your hips collided against the headboard with every deep thrust he made, making you feel completely trapped between the wall and his body, thinking that probably your pain senses were too fucked by pleasure to be able to feel hurt at the way it kept bouncing against the hard surface.

San enrolled his fingers on your jaw, moving your head up slightly to give your back the perfect curvature, so your pubic bone would come up against the bottom of his cock and giving his thrusts the perfect angle so his tip would end up rubbing against that spot that had you whimpering and grinding against him in a matter of seconds.

"All this time wanting to try this, and you're barely able to take it" he groaned, with a shaky voice due to the power of each one of his movements.

All the times you thought of being in that situation, San was harsh, he was animalistic, just like he was being in that moment. But you didn't count with the extra threat that were his hips. You should've known better than pushing a dancer, mastered in body rolls and hip thrusts, to his limits. He found the best position for him, having you completely caged so his only worry would be pounding in and out of you, concentrating on the killing move of his hips, letting you feel all of him inside of you, but also making your skin clap every time.

You scratched your thighs, having nothing else to your reach as your head was held up "Please" you moaned. You don't know what you were begging for. Pleasure just felt a little bit too much to contain it for any longer, you just wanted it to blow and have it leaving your system.

"Please what?" San forced your body a bit higher, sinking his teeth on your collarbone. "Use full sentences, babe".

"Please, don't stop" you begged, your voice cracked in need.

He wasn't going to stop. And even less after seeing you like that. There was nothing that could make him prouder than seeing you being a mumbling mess for his cock, sure that he was closer to losing himself completely to his most basic instincts just to have you looking like that for the rest of the night.

The echo of the slap made you squirm rather than the itch that his palm left after it, making your pussy instantly clench around him, with your walls closing tight around him as if you didn't want him to leave you empty ever again.

"You take me so fucking good" he hoarsed, circling your swollen clit with two of his fingers.

With his eyes fixed on you the whole time, he was able to tell the exact moment you were going to cum. He saw that spark in your eyes, momentary and fast, but strong enough for him to see it before your eyes went blank with a long moan, that sounded in sync with the way your legs trembled and your body convulsed on his.

He wanted to drink the last drop of your high, moving your neck so your face would be towards him, taking your lips in his with freedom while you blindly followed his moves, weakly sucking on his lower lip.

At that point you could only feel the way San moved on the mattress, dragging your body along with his until the two of you were kneeling in the middle of the bed. Although he tried to let go of that caring side to please you, you could sense it was still there, taking over him for a brief moment as he made you roll on the bed and lie on your back, carefully to not hurt you, and making sure at all times that you were okay.

One of his hands rested on your stomach, caressing the spot between your belly button and your pubes as he waited for you to recover. When you looked up to him, you felt so small... San was big, but that night he felt twice his size. The way he looked at you, brushing his hair back to expose some of the sweat drops that stopped right on his eyebrows, giving you what you had named as his "stage gaze" had your pussy throbbing again.

Your body squirmed when he leaned over, moving his tongue over your clit to steal a whine from you before he sucked on the bundle of nerves.

He swore one day he'd be completely addicted to your taste.

San slipped his full length back again, only warning you with his tip pressing on your entrance before he was stretching you out in that new position. He was completely lost in the way you looked, eyebrows slightly furrowed, lips parted as you weren't able to breath through your nose anymore, and tits bouncing with every thrust he made. Only to go feral when he lowered his eyes a bit more to find his cock covered in your arousal whenever he moved it out, hiding himself in your walls not even a mini second after. Whole shaft was shiny with your juices, with some white thicker cream on the base.

"The mess you made on my cock..." he scoffed, squeezing your flesh. "My girl does love to be treated like a hole meant to be used by me only, hmm?".

At the lack of response from you, other than the way your fists closed on the sheets and some of the whimpers you tried to keep hidden in your mouth by pressing your lips together, San moved his fingers around your throat again. His digits' pressure on your skin tightened with every thrust, giving you one thin line that allowed air to make it to your lungs. His left hand kept you glued to the bed, that squeaked under you a little bit louder as time went by, while his other hand hooked around your knee, keeping it as high and spread as possible.

The eye contact, the grunts, and his cock rubbing deliciously on your walls... All of it was the perfect mix for a ticking bomb in your guts that started a countdown to wipe everything out.

"Are you going to cum again for me?" he teased, recognizing that spark in your eyes again. "Let go, babe. Cum around me".

He combined those words with the twirls the fingers on his right hand were doing on your clit, feeling it throb on his digits before you reached your orgasm with a loud moan, arching your back in a way he thought it would break.

"Come here and make me cum now, love"

You crawled on the mattress to where he was, smirking at him as you took the condom off. He growled over you when your lips wrapped around him, barely giving him any time to get used to the subtle breeze in your room before he was feeling warm again. Your head bombed fast, eager to feel the way his cock twitched against your tongue when you least expected, while your hand matched the movements of your mouth.

San guided the way your head moved, with his fingers grasping on some of the lock of your head to move you a bit faster, while his hips just buckled against your mouth. He just needed one last flick of your tongue on one of his veins, and he was already spilling his seed in your mouth with a deep moan.

You still licked him off for a bit more, cleaning him completely, until there was no trace of everything you had done.

"Spit it here" he hollowed his hand at the height of your lips.

You bit your lower lip, moving your body to be on the same height as he was and confront that confused expression he was giving you.

"I swallowed it" the pride and playfulness in your voice made him smile, and break character almost instantly.

He moved right after you did, placing his hands on your hips while your arms wrapped around his neck.

"Was it better than fiction?" his head tilted as he asked that question.

"It was better than fiction" you admitted, playing with the sweaty locks on his nape. "Did you like it, too?".

San nodded, curving his lips slightly "More than expected, actually".

Before you could smile widely in relief, your boyfriend leaned over to kiss you, gently and caring, moving his lips sweetly over yours to get rid of any drop of his saltiness. "Let's clean ourselves, and let me give you those cuddles you were asking for earlier, alright?".

San helped you move out of bed first, holding your hand carefully so you wouldn't fall, joining in front of you right after. He stopped midway, having you looking at him confused. "Let me tell Seonghwa I arrived well. I forgot to send him the text".

"Go, I'll wait for you in the shower"

As he stepped away from you and turned around, you couldn't help yourself. Your palm smacked against his ass, having him turning at you surprised, giving you an eye smile before he shook his head and made his way to the living room.

It was a good thing he found out about fanfiction after all.

[onlinesuzie]

☆ hooking up with hamzah ☆

words: 3.1k

genre: heavy smut, dom hamzah

summary: You are invited to a small party at Mandy's apartment but when you are introduced to Hamzah, you realise he's the boy you had the most insane hook up with and now obviously you can't resist the chance of hooking up again.

notes: i gotta be real, i gotta ring the police after this cause damn this is most insane thing i've ever written.

♡

You were sitting in your living room, half-watching TV when your phone buzzed with a message. It was from Mandy, one of your close friends.

"hey my love! i’m having this little party thing at my place this saturday, please please please can you come! martin’s bringing a friend… ;)"

You smiled at the message, feeling extremely excited. You hadn’t seen Mandy and her boyfriend, Martin, in a while, and the idea of a relaxed evening with friends sounded perfect. You quickly typed back your reply.

"i’m free!! i can’t wait to see you"

When Saturday arrived, you spent a little extra time getting ready, choosing an outfit that made you feel extra good. As you arrived at Mandy’s apartment, the familiar hum of music and chatter greeted you from inside. You knocked, and a moment later, Mandy opened the door with a wide grin.

"You made it!" she exclaimed, pulling you into a hug. The apartment was slightly hot from the people moving around and laughing loudly, it was filled with chatter and the slight smell of alcohol.

Martin was in the kitchen, mixing drinks. When he saw you, he waved. "Hey! come here and get a drink!" he said, motioning for you to come over. You exchanged a few waves and hugs of the people you knew, catching up on life since the last time you’d all hung out.

Mandy appeared beside you, practically bouncing around, probably already tipsy. "Oh, yes! I need to introduce you to Martin's friend!" she said, her eyes disappearing with how smiley she was. Without waiting for your response, she started grabbed your hand, leading you through the room.

As you followed her, you wondered who this friend could be. Mandy stopped near the living room, turning to you with a smile. "This is Hamzah," she said, gesturing to a man standing nearby. Your breath caught in your throat as you recognized him immediately. It was Hamzah—the guy you had hooked up with a few weeks ago.

His eyes widened slightly as he recognized you, and for a moment, there was a silent exchange between the two of you. He gulped slightly but finally breaking the silence with a small, amused smile.

"Hey," he said, his voice soft, with just a hint of teasing. "Nice to see you.. again." the last word quiet enough for only the both of you to hear.

You felt your cheeks heat up, but you managed a smile. "Yeah, you too."

Mandy, oblivious to the history between you two, grinned. "I’ll leave you to get to know each other!" she said before disappearing back into the crowd.

Once she was gone, you and Hamzah exchanged an awkward laugh. "This is... unexpected," he said, scratching the back of his neck.

You nodded, feeling the same awkwardness. "Yeah, definitely unexpected."

Despite the initial feeling, the conversation quickly found its rhythm. You and Hamzah started talking, easing into a comfortable banter. The more you talked, the more you remembered why you’d been drawn to him that night a few weeks ago. There was a spark between you, a feeling that was hard to ignore.

As the night went on, that spark began to intensify. You noticed the way his eyes lingered on you when he thought you weren’t looking, the way his voice dropped a little lower when he spoke just to you. You especially noticed the way he slowly swiped his tongue along his bottom lip when he looked you up and down. It was like there was a tension building pull between the two of you, something that had been there all night, just waiting to be released.

At some point, you found yourself standing close to him near the hallway, the rest of the party fading into the background. The air between you was tense, and you could tell by the way he was looking at you that he felt it too.

"Do you want to... go somewhere more private?" he asked, leaning in close to whisper in your ear.

Your heart raced at his suggestion, but you nodded, a shy smile on your lips. Without another word, you led him down the hall, toward the bathroom at the end. Once inside, you closed the door behind you, the small space suddenly feeling even smaller.

The moment the door clicked shut, the tension between you snapped. Hamzah stepped forward, his eyelids heavy and warmth grew within you, his hand brushing against your cheek as he leaned in. His lips found yours in a rough and sloppy kiss, the familiarity of it sending a rush of adrenaline through you.

As kiss got deeper, it was becoming more intense as the memories of that night came flooding back. His hands snaking their way to your waist, pulling you closer, and you responded by placing your hands on his chest , your fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt.

Time seemed to stand still as you lost yourself in the moment, the rest of the party forgotten. The thrill of being so close to him again, in this unexpected situation, was intoxicating.

Eventually, the sound of laughter from the party brought you back to reality. You pulled back slightly, both of you breathing heavily.

Hamzah smiled, his thumb brushing your cheek. "That was... so hot," he said.

You laughed softly, feeling a mix of excitement and satisfaction. "Yeah, but I need more of you Hamzah."

He chuckled, pressing a quick, playful kiss to your lips before stepping back.

You and Hamzah linger in the bathroom for a moment longer, catching your breath, exchanging a few soft laughs as the reality of what just happened sinks in. There’s a shared look between you. The party outside feels like a distant hum, irrelevant to the little world you’ve just created together.

Finally, you straighten your clothes, both of you taking a moment to collect yourselves. Hamzah glances at you, his smile soft and a little teasing. “Ready to head back out?” he asks, his voice low.

You nod, still feeling the warmth of his touch lingering on your skin. “Yeah, let’s go.”

Opening the bathroom door, you slip back into the hallway. The noise of the party floods your senses once again, but it’s as if there’s an invisible bubble around the two of you—nothing else seems to matter. You share a quick, private smile with Hamzah before heading back into the main room.

The two of you rejoin the party, and while you try to blend back in, you can’t help but notice the lingering gazes between you. There’s a silent communication in every glance, every touch. It’s not long before Hamzah leans in close, his breath warm against your ear as he whispers, “Want to get out of here?”

Your heart skips a beat, and you find yourself nodding without hesitation. The idea of continuing, of seeing where it could go, is too tempting to resist. Together, you make your way to the door, weaving through the crowd.

As you approach Mandy and Martin, who are chatting with a couple of other guests, you gently tap Mandy on the shoulder. She turns around, her face lighting up with a smile when she sees you. “You’re heading out?” she asks, her eyes flickering between you and Hamzah.

“Yeah, I think we’re going to call it a night,” you say, trying to keep your tone casual. But there’s no hiding the way Hamzah’s hand finds yours, fingers intertwining as he steps up beside you.

Mandy’s smile widens, a knowing glint in her eyes. “Well, it was great seeing you both! Don’t be weird, okay?” She pulls you into a quick hug, and then one for Hamzah, who exchanges a nod with Martin.

Martin gives you a thumbs-up and a wink as he notices your linked hands. “Take care, guys,” he says, clearly amused but in a friendly, supportive way.

You and Hamzah say your final goodbyes before slipping out of the apartment together. The night air is cool and refreshing after the warmth of the party. Hamzah leads you to his car parked a little way down the street, his hand still firmly in yours.

As you reach his car, he gets into the driver’s seat, and for a moment, neither of you moves. The quiet of the car is almost deafening, filled only with the sound of your breathing and the faint hum of the engine when Hamzah starts it. His hand rests on the steering wheel, the other on the gearshift, but you can feel his eyes on you, stealing glances as if he’s trying to gauge your thoughts.

You turn to look at him, your gaze meeting his in the dim light of the car’s interior. The tension is strong now, thickening the air between you. The memory of his touch in the bathroom, the way he made you feel weeks prior, is all too fresh. And by the way his eyes darken when they lock with yours, you know he’s thinking the same thing.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice low and rough, almost hesitant. It’s a simple question, but the weight behind it is heavy.

“I’m more than okay,” you reply, your voice soft but steady. There’s a slight quiver of excitement in your tone, something he doesn’t miss.

A small smile tugs at his lips, and his hand finally leaves the gearshift, sliding over to rest on your thigh. The touch is gentle at first, but you can feel the warmth of his palm through your clothes, the heat spreading like a slow burn. He squeezes lightly, his fingers flexing against your skin, and it takes everything in you not to shiver under his touch.

“You’re sure about this?” he asks, his eyes searching yours. There’s something deeper in his gaze now, not just desire but a hint of vulnerability, as if he needs reassurance that this isn’t just a fleeting moment.

You nod, feeling a surge of affection for him. “I’m sure, Hamzah.”

That’s all it takes for the tension to snap. He leans in, his lips brushing against yours in a kiss that starts slow, as if he’s savoring the moment. But it quickly deepens, his hand tightening on your thigh as he pulls you closer, the kiss becoming more intense.

You can feel the heat building between you, the way his touch becomes more needy, the way his breathing quickens. Your hands find their way to his chest, feeling the rapid thump of his heartbeat beneath your fingertips. It’s the kind of kiss that makes you lose track of time, of everything except the feel of him against you.

Finally, he pulls back just enough to look at you, his breath coming in short, ragged bursts. “Let’s get out of here,” he says, his voice rough with need.

You nod again, unable to find the words to express the whirlwind of emotions you’re feeling. He shifts the car into gear, his hand returning to your thigh as he drives, this time with more urgency, as if he can’t get you to his place fast enough.

His thumb strokes your skin absently, and every touch sends a jolt of electricity through you. It’s almost unbearable, this tension that’s coiled tight between you, ready to snap the moment you’re alone again. The city lights blur past as you drive, but you barely notice, too focused on the way his hand inches higher on your leg, teasing, testing you.

When you finally pull into his driveway, the tension reaches its peak. Hamzah cuts the engine and turns to you, his eyes blazing with desire and something deeper, something that makes your heart race even faster.

“Ready?” he asks, his voice a low, throaty whisper.

Instead of answering, you lean in and kiss him again, your hand sliding up the back of his neck, pulling him closer. It’s all the answer he needs. The kiss is hungry, desperate, as if you’ve both been holding back for too long. His hand on your thigh tightens, pulling you even closer, and you can feel the heat of his body radiating through the small space between you.

Breaking the kiss, Hamzah quickly gets out of the car, and you follow suit, both of you stumbling out. He takes your hand again, leading you toward the front door. The night is cool around you, but the heat between you both is undeniable, impossible to ignore.

The moment the door closes behind you, you know there’s no going back. The tension that’s been building all night finally has its outlet, and neither of you is going to hold back.

As you walked towards his place, you subtly moved closer to him, your shoulder brushing against his. You could feel the heat between you, and you knew tonight was going to be intense. Hamzah couldn't take his eyes off you, his gaze burning with desire as he took in your body.

You smiled to yourself, knowing the effect you had on him. Reaching his door, he fumbled with the keys, his hands shaking slightly as he struggled to focus. You placed your hand on his, a simple touch that sent a spark through him, as he guided the key into the lock.

The door swung open, and he stepped aside to let you enter first. You took a moment to glance back at him before stepping into the hallway. Hamzah followed close behind, his breath soft on the back of your neck, making your skin tingle.

You didn't turn on the main lights, opting for the softer glow of lamps instead. You turned to face him, your bodies now just inches apart.

Hamzah's eyes devoured you, taking in your every curve and the way your clothes hugged your body. You could see the desire and hunger in his eyes, which only further turned you on. Leaning forward, you pressed your body against his, feeling the hard planes of his chest and the stiffness of his cock through his pants.

His hands found your hips, pulling you closer as his mouth claimed yours in a passionate kiss. You moaned into his mouth, your tongue dueling with his as your hands roamed over his broad shoulders and down his back. You could feel his cock twitch against your stomach, and you knew he was just as desperate for release as you were.

Breaking the kiss, you trailed your lips down his jaw and neck, nipping and sucking at his sensitive skin. He tilted his head back, a soft groan escaping his lips as you marked him with your mouth.

"I want you," he whispered, his breath hot against your ear. "I need to feel you, all of you."

You smiled at his desperation. This wasn't the first time you had hooked up, but it was clear that Hamzah was still just as obsessed with your body as he had been the first time. And you loved having this effect on him.

Guiding him towards the bedroom, you pushed him gently onto the edge of the bed. He sat there, watching you with dark, wanting eyes as you slowly began to undress. You removed your shirt, teasing him by covering your breasts with your arms, before finally revealing them.

His breath hitched as your breasts were exposed, his eyes glued to you as you slowly unbuttoned your jeans. Sliding them down your legs, you stepped out of them, now wearing nothing but your underwear. Hamzah's cock twitched in his pants, straining against the fabric as he got a full view of your body.

Kneeling before him, you placed soft kisses up his thighs, your hands roaming over his hard chest as you undid his belt. With slow, deliberate movements, you unbuttoned his pants and pulled down the zipper, reaching inside to wrap your hand around his throbbing cock.

He hissed at the feeling of your soft hand on his hard length, his hips bucking slightly as you began to stroke him. You leaned in, pressing a kiss to the head of his cock before taking him into your warm, wet mouth. He groaned, his hands tangling in your hair as you sucked him deeply, your tongue swirling and teasing.

"Fuck, that feels so good," he murmured, his hips thrusting gently as you took your time, exploring every inch of him with your mouth. You moaned softly, the vibrations sending shivers through him.

Pulling off his cock, you stood up and finished undressing, revealing your naked body. Hamzah's eyes feasted on your every curve, his mouth hanging open slightly as he took in your perfection.

"You look even hotter like this Hamzah," you whispered, pushing him back onto the bed and climbing on top of him. You straddled his waist, your pussy hovering just above his cock as you leaned down to kiss him deeply.

He kissed you back hungrily, his hands grasping your ass as he pulled you against him. You aligned yourself with his cock, feeling the head press against you. Slowly, you sank down, sitting down on his length as you threw your head back in pleasure.

Hamzah groaned, his eyes rolling back as he filled you completely. You rode him slowly at first, savoring the feeling of him stretching you wide.

"Your body is so fucking perfect," he muttered, his eyes taking in the sight of your naked skin glistening with a light sheen of sweat. "I could worship this body forever."

His words sent a rush of heat between your legs, and you increased your pace, riding him harder as you clenched around his cock. He thrust up to meet your movements, his hips slamming into yours as he filled you completely.

The bed creaked with the force of both of you, your moans and groans filling the room as you drove each other wild. Hamzah's hands gripped your hips, his fingers digging into your soft flesh as he pounded into you.

"Cum for me," he growled, his voice husky and full of need. "Let me feel you cum around my cock."

His dirty words sent you over the edge, and you cried out as your orgasm washed over you. You clenched around his cock, enjoying the wave after wave of pleasure crashing through your body.

Feeling you tighten around him, Hamzah let out a moan, his cock twitching as he filled you with him. You collapsed against him, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you felt his warm release deep inside you.

For several moments, you lay there, your bodies entangled and your hearts pounding. Eventually, you rolled off him, a lazy smile on your face as you snuggled into his side.

"That was incredible," he whispered, his voice full of satisfaction as he played with your hair. "I can't get enough of you."

You smiled, knowing that this wouldn't be the last time you'd hook up. Hamzah was obsessed, and you were more than happy to give him more.

[jeongheart]

super shy

summary: he's been receiving these letters for the past year but, he doesn't know your name, does he?

w.c: 7.1k.

tags: friends to lovers, fluff, slice of life.

a.n: this is the longest fic i ever written omg, i've been playing new jeans latest comeback for a few days and this is the result lol. as always, english is not my first language so sorry in advance for any mistakes. leave your thoughts if you liked it, means a lot!

It was there again.

Sitting immaculately on top of his messy folders, the envelope was white without any type of decoration, the owner of the cursive handwriting wouldn't even risk placing a sticker since it could give a clue, even minimal, about who was behind it.

The classroom was almost empty, since recess ended a few minutes ago and the students were still lazily getting up from the grass where they were lying, not wanting to lock themselves in a room again for hours while the day was shining beautifully outside the building.

However, Chan looked around him, narrowing his eyes as he scanned his classmates for the smallest trace of uneasiness as he took the envelope in his hands. But he didn't find any, unless the author had a master's degree in poker face no one around him seemed interested in what he was doing.

After the failed scrutiny, he sat down again with no care on the wooden bench, eager to read what that person had to say today. This excited feeling was new for him, the letters had been arriving about a year ago, right at the beginning of the new semester and at first, Chan found it funny. Surely one of his friends (he bet his life on either Seungmin or Minho, those two were always up to something no matter how much they said they weren't) found it fun to piss him off this year, after all, it has been a long time since his last relationship and sometimes he felt the need of affection, so the "joke" made perfect sense in his head.

He didn't read them the first few months, he just crumpled them up and kept them in a hidden place in his backpack, to let whoever was behind them know that he wasn't interested. But they kept coming even after that vile act against someone's real feelings; and that was when Chan began to question if there really was a person genuinely interested in him, interested enough to send him handwritten letters as if they were living in a classic romance novel. The person had a beautiful vocabulary, and it was clear that they paid attention to details that he didn't even noticed about himself.

The notes weren't very long since they didn't exceed ten lines, but each word was full of admiration and affection. They always reminded him to eat and take care of his health, in addition to telling him day by day one of the qualities why his mysterious person had fallen in love with him. Chan blushed every time he read those reasons, it was no secret (to himself, since he didn't like others to know) that he didn't think very highly of himself; from his point of view there was nothing nice or admirable about his existence. But this person believed just the opposite, and they had made their life's mission to let him know that every day.

Today was no exception, the lined sheets were a pastel color (pink? orange?) and had small animal decorations at the bottom and top (he noticed that these came in "groups", the representative animal of these last ten notes was a smiling giraffe). It was incredibly adorable, and Chan found himself laughing softly every time he took out the contents of the envelope.

'Mondays are always hard! Especially this time of year (can't the professors trust in me and my knowledge of things? I don't see the need for them to take a test).

Anyway, Channie, this weekend I found myself thinking a lot about you, every time I start writing my reasons I feel like I'm going to be left speechless but then I remember that it's not difficult at all to love you. So here is another one:

Your resilience, I greatly admire your ability to always get up no matter how many blows life throws at you. The vast majority of us feel discouraged by the slightest inconvenience, but not you. And that is something incredible.

I hope you have a beautiful start to the week, remember to eat your meals and feel the sun.

Fondly,'

And that's how all the letters ended, the author seemed to hesitate every time they traced the last line, he could feel the uncertainty even on the paper. Chan knew that they were shy and always wondered when they were going to stop being to finally sign with their name and be able to meet that person who stole his heart with every word.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡

He was reading the note, hunched over his things, almost shielding the contents of the paper from the prying eyes of anyone who passed by him. You knew he was going to do it (he always did) but you couldn't stop your heart from racing like it was the first time it happened. You watched him from the hallway, hiding behind one of your textbooks while a silly smile appeared on your face, nothing made you happier than making him happy with your words, it's true what people say about "butterflies in the stomach" because that was what you were feeling right now.

His eyes crinkled in the most adorable way possible every time he smiled and from your spot in the hallway you could almost hear the sigh he let out after finishing reading the letter. After scanning his surroundings one last time, Chan placed the paper back into the envelope, and carefully placed it inside his notebook.

"You and your Shakespeare complex again" The sudden voice of your best friend so close made you jump in your place and drop the book you had in your hands. It hit the ground with a dull sound due to the thickness of its contents, and when you picked up the book again you turned around to face the figure of the perpetrator. He just laughed at you and your reaction, which earned him a closed-fist blow directly to his shoulder.

"You deserve it" You didn't even bother to return his reproachful gaze since he clearly felt like fighting, and instead, you returned your focus to Chan's classroom and his figure. He was no longer in his seat and you didn't want to look weird by leaning out the window door to look for him. So you sighed heavily and leaned your body against the wall while closing your eyes.

Until you felt Jeongin's presence come to your side "Are you going to tell him sometime?"

You didn't answer him.

Well, actually you did, with a growl that could mean either 'I'll do it today, stop bothering' or 'not even dead'. However, the blonde wasn't satisfied with your interpretation of an animal as a response and he began poking your ribs with his long fingers, drawing high-pitched sounds of protest from your lips.

"Stop it, Innie" You moved his hands away from your figure and stood firmly looking him in the eyes like a mother who is trying to discipline her misbehaving son. He crossed his arms with a satisfied smile crossing his face with foxlike features and, with a movement of his head, he invited you to speak.

"What do you want me to say? 'Hello Chan! It's me, the person who has been sending you letters like a fifteen-year-old for a year now. I've been in love with you since the moment I saw you at my best friend's house. Do you want to be my boyfriend?" You rolled your eyes tiredly and didn't wait for Jeongin to tell you what he thought, and so you started walking towards your classroom, with an exasperated five foot seven boy following closely behind you.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡

You still remembered the first time you'd seen him, and how couldn't you. His presence could illuminate even the darkest corner, and his personality attracted anyone around him.

It was the summer, and you'd gone to Jeongin's house to spend an afternoon together. The air conditioning in your apartment had broken two days ago, and you couldn't stand being in your room for another second, which was already beginning to feel like an industrial oven. When you arrived at your best friend's residence, you weren't surprised by the fact that there were more people than just the two of you. Jeongin was taking singing lessons at a nearby academy and had hit it off with some of his classmates; so while you didn't know them as well as he did, you had the chance to hang out with some of them a couple of times and you could say that they were the funniest guys you'd ever come across. Especially Hyunjin, who seemed to be like a glove with your best friend.

Jeongin's house felt cold, as if winter had come only for the Yang family and, although you shivered with every step you took towards the kitchen where voices could be heard, this felt like paradise compared to the hell you lived in your house (and you even thought it was cooler in hell).

Reaching the kitchen, you heard Hyunjin's melodious voice followed by his nasal, boisterous laughter at a comment Jeongin made. You shook your head laughing inwardly as you pushed the wooden door open to enter the space, the boys turning their heads in your direction as they heard the hinges snapping back into place.

Your best friend gave you his characteristic smile as he got up from his seat on one of the stools in front of the kitchen island to give you a small hug "I thought you weren't coming anymore!"

From Jeongin's shoulder you saw how Hyunjin gave you a smile and a wave, you tried to return the gesture as best you could considering that you were trapped in the arms of a boy who flatly stated that he didn't like hugs. It was getting long in your opinion, so you patted Jeongin on the back, letting him know that yes, you loved him very much, but you were still sticky with sweat from the walk in the sun and you didn't want to make him uncomfortable when he was so cool. When Jeongin let go of you, he opened his palm to introduce you to a person you hadn't seen before, "I hope you don't mind, that's Chan over there. He also goes to our academy, and he goes to university with us! Although he is a year ahead"

You smiled at Jeongin as you walked further into the kitchen to greet the new guest and in front of you stood one of the most attractive men you'd ever seen in your entire life. He wasn't very tall (you could tell even if he was sitting) but his broad shoulders gave him an intimidating presence, his hair looked messy in a swirl of brown curls, and although he was dressed from head to toe in black (you were sure his nails were painted that color too) on his face was a dimpled smile that took your breath away.

From one moment to the next you forgot how to articulate words and you felt like a fish opening and closing its mouth trying to find something to say, but your brain didn't seem to want to work.

You felt a small push on your right shoulder that took your body forward, towards the table, and towards Chan.

"How rude you are" Jeongin rolled his eyes, and although deep down you knew he was doing it to tease you, your cheeks turned red. You felt your tongue heavy in your mouth as the seconds passed and you were unable to utter a single word.

"Leave her alone, Innie. It's pretty hot outside, isn't it?" Chan's deep voice brought you out of your trance and forced you to look him in the eyes. He had a sincere smile on his face and was watching you with raised eyebrows, letting you know that he was going to listen to you when you wanted to respond.

Your heart did a complete turn in your chest, you were surprised in the best of ways at how friendly he was, the vast majority of boys with his attractiveness made that their only personality trait but he was attentive and considerate of all the people around him, even with complete strangers who hadn't stopped looking or saying anything to him in three minutes.

"Yes...yes, it's horrible! And the air conditioning in my house is broken and you can't imagine how hot it is! I feel like I'm going to die one of these days" The words came tumbling out of your mouth, since you hadn't had the time to stop and think about what exactly you wanted to say, and your nerves were playing the worst trick of your entire life.

Chan laughed again (even his laugh was pretty) and he nodded his head, not at all scared or surprised with the lexical vomit you just made.

"It must be like torture, really. You must be tired from the walk under the sun, why don't you sit down for a bit? The boys and I were planning to watch a movie" The brunette softly kicked one of the stools that were stored under the table in your direction.

You nodded shyly and took the seat he offered you, right in front of him. You left your phone on the cold marble of the table and looked around the kitchen for your best friend, you'd been surprised by the fact that he hadn't gotten into the conversation for five minutes and to be honest you desperately needed to focus on something other than Chan's penetrating gaze you felt on your face.

"Innie?" You called out to him with a small shout, loud enough for him to hear you even if he'd gone into the garden.

After a few seconds, your friend's blonde head peeked out of the left door that led to the living room, and a mischievous smile appeared on his face. "I'm sorry! Since you two were talking, we decided to go prepare things for the movie."

Jeongin paused and looked at you evilly, a look that you knew very well and that didn't give you a good feeling at all "Chan, why don't you prepare something to eat? I bought some snacks today, come when you have everything ready~" And before you could protest, he disappeared from your sight again while laughing and yelling something at Hyunjin.

You immediately tensed up and cursed Jeongin in your mind, how dare he leave you alone with your newfound crush. If he was getting revenge for the time you tried to play matchmaker and failed then he was being very childish, that'd been years ago!

While the insulting thoughts against your best friend and all his ancestors accumulated in your brain, from the corner of your eye you watched as Chan got up from his seat and went to the counter where the mentioned snacks and bowls of colors were located, apparently the prankster you called your best friend had already prepared the trap before you even arrived.

You didn't want to look weirder than you already felt so with your limbs shaking and making even the slightest of movements difficult; you also got up from your seat and slowly approached where Chan was, you stood next to him (close enough for him to know that you were willing to help but far enough not to invade his personal space).

He looked at you briefly and smiled sideways, and didn't say anything as he gently pushed a bowl towards you. The task wasn't very complicated per se, but it did become extremely difficult when the only thing you could focus on were the large, veiny hands of the boy next to you, you hadn't realized how attractive it was to see a man opening packets of potato chips and arranging them in a small container until now.

"Jeongin said we go to the same university, do you study the same as him?" You were startled by the sudden interruption of silence, you turned to look at Chan after finishing preparing the bowl with the nachos.

"Yes, I mean, no. We share some classes because some subjects are correlative in each one's career but I could never do the same as Innie" You smiled shyly and shook your head.

"I study psychology," You finally said and looked at your companion, who had his eyes open and bright like a puppy's (how could it be possible for a person to be incredibly attractive and adorable at the same time? It would have to be illegal), and you wondered what it was that'd amazed him so much, there were millions of other people studying the same thing as you.

Without meaning to, you raised an eyebrow; studying his reaction. He laughed again (it was something he loved to do, apparently) and turned his entire body towards you, resting his left hip against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest.

"That's incredible, the human mind is fascinating. I understand why you study that, for my part, I wouldn't read everything you have to read even if someone paid me."

You laughed loudly, infecting Chan as well. He was doing so with his whole body, his shoulders were shaking to the rhythm of his giggles and you could notice that, from time to time, a small squeak would appear in the sound of his laughter.

When the laughter died down, you looked at him again as you put the last bag of snacks in the cupboard in front of you.

"Yes, I mean, it's a lot to read but it's like you say. I'm interested in knowing the reason for behavior, and I would like to help people in the future. Mental health is something important" This last part came out in a whisper, you weren't used to revealing the reason for your career choice, most people told you that you should have chosen something that would make you rich in twenty years.

"That's incredible, I admire you a lot" Chan said in a soft voice, and you hadn't realized how close he'd gotten until you noticed the small touch of his fingers on your arm, the color quickly rose to your cheeks again and panic took over you, making you choke up when you spoke.

"Y-yes, thank you... not many think that way" And you moved your body away from his space; maybe a little abruptly but you were sure that if you continued in that position you were going to do or say something ridiculous, you couldn't trust your ability to reason at the moment.

Chan cleared his throat at your reaction and took two bowls in his hands, starting to walk towards the living room. You hadn't realized how loudly the other two boys were talking, were you so immersed in the situation to forget the outside world? Apparently yes.

"Are you done yet? The boys must be waiting" He stopped right in front of the door, waiting for you to take what you'd prepared.

You nodded softly, and after grabbing your preparations, you followed him into the living room.

You don't really remember what happened after that, you assume you watched the movies that the boys had already chosen before you arrived. You also don't remember if you had even paid attention, probably not, because you were very focused on keeping your breathing as normal as you could since unfortunately Hyunjin and Jeongin decided to each sit in an individual chair and by coincidence the only place left to sit was in the two-seat chair that your best friend's grandmother had given to his mother at her wedding, and conveniently Chan sat there too. So as the movie played on the screen, your heart raced with every accidental brush of your arms or legs against Chan's.

The only thing you remember clearly from that moment is that you couldn't help but look at his profile, trying to memorize every detail and every peculiarity of his expressions.

The rest of the summer felt like a haze, every time you made plans with Jeongin you knew Chan was going to be there. And that did nothing to dispel the feelings that were beginning to become more present with every minute you spent in his presence.

You liked him a little too much.

His kind nature and the way he treated everyone made you dizzy every time, but you were too shy to act on your feelings and unfortunately you weren't the only one who thought Chan was a good catch. Every now and then different girls approached him to ask him out, and although he always rejected them; you couldn't help but feel a little insecure about the situation. And there was also the small problem that he confessed to you one night in Hyunjin's garden: his last relationship had been somewhat toxic, and although it ended years ago, he was deeply hurt and didn't feel ready yet to fall for someone again.

That confession left a sour taste in your mouth, so you decided not to actively act on your feelings, you really didn't want to make Chan uncomfortable or force him into something he didn't want to do, let alone ruin the friendship you were building. But something as strong as love cannot be contained, and one sleepless night you found yourself scribbling in your notebook the things you wanted to say to him, the things you liked about him, and how he made you feel when you looked at him.

You weren't thinking when you left the first envelope on his desk, it was a completely impulsive decision that you regretted the moment you left his classroom. But when you turned around to go back and throw the letter into the trash, he already found it.

At first he didn't read them, you knew because you'd overheard when he mentioned it to Hyunjin during an outing the three of you made, Chan believed that one of his friends was playing a prank on him.

And that was the last straw that broke the camel's back, although you told yourself that you weren't going to write anymore letters for the sake of your friendship and your own feelings you had to let him know (even if anonymously) that he was someone worthy of love and that he wasn't what the people in his past made him believe he was.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡

Once you arrived at the classroom (miraculously before the professor, you didn't think you could endure another lecture and there were still three more hours before leaving the university) you sat down in your respective seat by the window. The day was really beautiful, and from your place you could see the large patio where the entire student body went to relax between classes, it was your favorite place in the entire building and at this moment you wanted nothing more than to be leaning against a tree feeling the warm sunlight on your face.

"I'm not saying you have to tell him that but don't you think it's been too long already?" Jeongin didn't seem to want to drop the topic for today, he'd gotten up from his seat taking advantage of the fact that there was still no sign of the teacher and sat at your table, almost knocking all the things that were on top of it to the floor. You rested your head on the bench and waved a hand in the air, brushing it off in an attempt to say 'leave me alone already'.

Your best friend snorted exasperatedly, "You really are a special case, you've been in love with him for a year, for God's sake."

At the boy's aggressive tone of voice, you took your head off the table and looked at him with a frown. He looked back at you like he always did: challenging and forcing you to speak for yourself.

"It's not as easy as you say, Jeongin" You spat angrily.

"For all I know, if he finds out, he could throw my stupid letters in the trash and confessing would not only make me look weird but it would also ruin the friendship we have" You lowered your face, feeling a little sad "And the last thing I would like to do is lose him"

Jeongin’s expression softened as he realized the depth of your anxiety, and he reached out to place a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "I get it, I really do. You don't want to jeopardize what you have but you deserve happiness too, you know? Maybe it's time to take a risk."

“I don’t even think I have a chance” You sighed, feeling defeated.

Jeongin moved closer and lowered his voice conspiratorially, "You may have more possibilities than you think, but sometimes you have to give destiny a little push."

You raised an eyebrow at his choice of words and just as you were about to question him further, the professor made an appearance in the classroom ordering everyone to take their respective seats and apologizing for the delay. Your best friend flashed you a bright smile with his trademark dimples and snuck over to his table, effectively ending the conversation and leaving you wondering what he meant for the rest of the day.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡

If Jeongin's plan was for you to not sleep for a week, then he'd achieved it. His words had been spinning through your head like a whirlpool that seemed to have no end. You knew that he'd been friends with the brunette for a longer time than you, but were they close enough that the youngest knew the secrets inside Chan's heart?

Or was he giving you the advice that all friends gave to their other friends desperate to believe in the illusion that the person they like reciprocates their feelings? No, Jeongin wouldn't do that, he was too honest for his own good and besides you'd known each other longer (your mothers said you were born to be friends). So did that mean there really was a chance?

No, of course not, that was ridiculous.

You shook your head in an attempt to get rid of those thoughts as you rang the doorbell at Hyunjin's house. Your group had agreed to meet to study and you needed to have a clear mind, the exams were around the corner and you couldn't afford to keep your brain preoccupied thinking about something that would never happen.

The minutes passed slowly as you waited for the homeowner, and while you were thinking about ringing the doorbell again fearing that the boys inside hadn't heard you, the door suddenly opened, and nothing could have prepared you to see the person who has been living rent free in your mind, you knew he would be there, but you didn't expect to face him so quickly.

"Hey, you arrived just in time, Hyunjin's mom just brought us some drinks" Chan was his usual self, with his beautiful smile plastered on his face and his relaxed attitude.

You blinked once, twice, three times before you managed a small forced smile and responded, "Oh, great, thanks," and you stood there in silence, unable to look him in the eyes.

Chan tilted his head in silent question at your attitude, "Is everything okay?"

His concern for your well-being was evident in his voice and he struck a chord in your heart. You looked at him briefly, meeting his gaze for a fleeting moment and nodded, still struggling to find your voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” You finally responded, trying to sound casual despite the jumble of emotions inside you.

Chan's friendly demeanor never wavered as he led you into the house, you followed him with a notable distance between your bodies and so when you arrived at the living room where the boys were already seated with open textbooks and a monstrous amount of things to eat you almost ran to sit next to Jeongin, an attitude that didn't go unnoticed by the blonde, who looked at you with his eyebrows raised in a telepathic question.

Meanwhile, Chan didn't take his eyes off you as he sat next to Hyunjin on the couch in front of where you and your best friend were.

The afternoon went by slowly, too slowly for your liking, you'd gone with all the desire to study and get your mind out of the anxiety that was consuming you, but that attempt had been futile.

Although your gaze remained glued to your notes and your blue highlighter (which hadn't highlighted anything in the last hour, you'd read the same paragraph five times without getting a clue of what it was trying to say) you felt how two eyes were burning holes in your figure. The room was suffocatingly silent, and you were sure that your irregular breathing was evident to the entire group; your nerves were so on edge that when your best friend's voice filled the void you almost jumped in your place.

"I'm tired, how about we take a break?"Jeongin raised his arms towards the ceiling, stretching his back and then collapsing gracelessly against the soft cushions of the sofa.

Hyunjin nodded while massaging his neck, stiff after so many hours of looking down at his notes and reading "I thought no one was going to say it, I was going crazy."

Chan didn't say anything, he just closed his notebooks and imitated Jeongin in his relaxed pose against the couch. You felt out of place when the boys started chatting about meaningless things to lighten the atmosphere.

You only nodded when you felt your input was necessary, or laughed when you thought that was the reaction you should have but you didn't speak, because in fact, you weren't sure you were going to say anything coherent or at least make your voice louder than a whisper, so you decided that the best course of action was to stay quiet.

If the boys noticed it, they didn't say anything, and you couldn't be more grateful for it.

"You know" Chan interrupted the laughter of the other two boys after a not-so-funny story told by Hyunjin.

Everyone focused their attention on him, the tone of voice he'd used was more serious than his usual; so serious that it forced you to look up for the first time since the recess began and you found Chan's brown eyes looking directly at you, doing it so intensely that you thought he was staring right into your soul.

You held your breath, but you weren't prepared for what he said next.

"My secret admirer hasn't written to me in a few days" He was still looking at you, but there was something strange hidden in his irises, something you couldn't decipher.

Silence once again took over Hyunjin's living room, and the tension could be cut with a knife, it almost seemed like time had stopped when the brunette pronounced the last syllable. Your mouth felt dry, and your palms began to sweat. The weight of his words floated in the air and a thousand thoughts passed through your mind, each one more disconcerting than the last.

Hyunjin snorted, and looked maliciously at Chan "Maybe they are tired of you."

His mocking comment broke the heavy silence like thunder. Jeongin joined in with a playful smile, taking the opportunity to tease Chan mercilessly. “Maybe your secret admirer found someone else,” he joked, his tone light and teasing, “Or maybe they are just playing hard to get.”

Your heart was pounding in your chest, wanting to burst while the boys laughed at Chan's expense while he, in response, rolled his eyes and smiled sarcastically at the jokes that his friends kept saying, he also looked at you from time to time making your discomfort even more evident.

You desperately searched for words to contribute to the conversation, your voice choked by the rising anxiety. But as Jeongin and Hyunjin's playful teasing continued, you remained silent, feeling like a bystander in a conversation that was becoming more cryptic by the second. Chan's gaze never left you, and despite the teasing, there was something in his eyes that betrayed a deeper understanding. His comment felt like a puzzle piece falling into place, yet you couldn't put your finger on what he truly knew.

As the laughter subsided, the room descended into an awkward silence once more, and then Chan finally spoke up, his tone more subdued than before. "Well, whoever it is," he began, his eyes still locked on yours, "I hope they know they've brightened my days with their letters."

The comment hung in the air, carrying a weight that seemed to pull everyone into its gravity. Jeongin and Hyunjin exchanged glances, their playful demeanor suddenly giving way to something more conspiracy.

You, on the other hand, felt an overwhelming mix of emotions. The anxiety that'd been building throughout the day reached a crescendo. You wanted to say something, to respond in some way, but the words caught in your throat.

Hyunjin broke the silence once more, this time with a touch of sincerity in his voice. "Whoever they are," he said, "they must really care about you, man." Jeongin nodded in agreement, and the room seemed to shift, it was a subtle transformation, but one that you couldn't help but notice.

Chan smiled, a genuine one that reached his eyes. "Yeah," he admitted, "They do mean a lot to me."

You desperately needed a moment to collect your thoughts and emotions after that serious conversation, so you mumbled something about getting a drink from the kitchen, excusing yourself with a weak smile and slowly, you retreated from the living room, the voices of the boys fading as you put some distance between you and the group.

In the dimly lit kitchen, you leaned against the countertop, your heart still racing from the tension in the room. The realization that Chan cherished those anonymous letters hit you like a ton of bricks. You'd never imagined how much they meant to him.

Just as you were lost in thought, the sound of footsteps behind you made you jump. You turned to find Chan standing there, a serious yet gentle expression on his face. His presence seemed to fill the room with warmth, and your anxiety ratcheted up another notch.

"Hey," he said softly, "You okay?"

You nodded, unable to form words an he took a step closer, his gaze never left yours.

Chan's brown eyes bore into yours, and for a moment, it felt like the world had frozen around you. You couldn't contain the thoughts racing through your mind any longer. With a trembling voice, you finally asked the question that'd been gnawing at you.

"Do you know who's been sending those letters?"

Chan's expression remained calm, but you could see a glimmer of something in his eyes, a hint of knowing. He didn't answer immediately, instead, he stepped closer, narrowing the distance between you.

His voice was soft as he replied, "I have a feeling I might have a clue."

Your heart pounded in your chest as you searched his face for more hints. What did he mean by 'a clue'? It was clear he was being deliberately vague, and it only added to your curiosity.

"But," he continued, "I'd like to hear it from you. Tell me, do you know who it is?"

You hesitated, the weight of the truth pressing down on you. The walls between you and Chan seemed to dissolve, and the vulnerability in his eyes was mirrored in your own. With a shaky breath, you summoned the courage to speak, your voice quivering with fear and anticipation.

"It's me."

The admission hung in the air, heavy and uncertain. You couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze, your eyes locked on the floor as you waited for his reaction. The seconds felt like hours as you replayed all the letters, and the emotions you'd poured into them.

Chan's silence stretched, and the tension in the room became palpable. Your heart raced, and you feared the worst — rejection, awkwardness, or even laughter.

Then, he reached out, gently lifting your chin with his fingers, forcing you to look into his eyes. The warmth and kindness in his gaze melted away your fears.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice soft and sincere. "I've cherished every single one."

As tears welled up in your eyes, Chan reached out to gently wipe them away with his thumb. He pulled you into a comforting embrace, holding you close as your emotions overwhelmed you. You couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and they flowed freely as you nestled into his embrace. He whispered soothing words, his voice a balm to your soul, reassuring you that everything would be okay.

After a moment of shared comfort, you pulled away slightly, looking up at him with curiosity. "But how did you know it was me?" you finally asked, your voice still trembling.

Chan smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face, a knowing twinkle in his eye, and replied, "I had my suspicions, especially after some of the things you wrote. But what really gave it away was your handwriting."

You blinked in surprise.

Handwriting? You hadn't considered that, no, haven't even thought about it when you started this a year ago, and to be honest you felt a little dumb.

Chan continued, "I recognized your handwriting from a birthday card you gave me a while back. It was similar to the writing in the letters. And then, well, I saw you looking at me during our hangouts, and it all just started to make sense."

You blushed, feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief. It seemed like you'd left more clues than you thought. But instead of feeling exposed, you felt a strange sense of comfort knowing that he'd noticed your feelings all along.

With a shy smile, you said, "I guess I'm not very good at hiding my feelings, am I?"

Chan chuckled softly. "No, but that's okay. I'm glad you told me."

As you gazed into Chan's eyes, you noticed something change in his expression. The initial surprise and curiosity gave way to a more tender, understanding look. He cupped your face gently, his touch warm and reassuring.

"You know," he began softly, "I've always appreciated those letters. They made me feel special, like someone out there truly understood me. And I never wanted to pressure you into revealing yourself," Chan continued. "I wanted you to do it when you were ready."

"I was just afraid," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "Afraid of what you might think, of how it might change things between us."

Chan's thumb traced small circles on your cheek as he reassured you, "Don't be. This doesn't change how I feel about what we have. If anything, it makes it even more special."

A tear escaped from the corner of your eye, but this time, it wasn't a tear of anxiety or fear. It was a tear of relief, of happiness. You leaned into Chan's touch, and he leaned closer, his eyes locked on yours, and before you knew it, his lips met yours in a soft, gentle kiss. The world seemed to melt away as your lips met his, you felt the warmth of his body against yours, and the sensation sent shivers down your spine. His hands cradled your face, holding you gently but firmly, as if he never wanted to let you go.

The taste of his lips was sweet and comforting, like a warm embrace on a cold winter's day, you could feel the steady beat of Chan's heart, matching the rhythm of your own. The world around you disappeared, and there was only the two of you.

And just as you were lost in that sweet moment, the kitchen door burst open, and in walked your friends, their playful banter filling the room while wearing grins so wide they threatened to split their faces. Jeongin couldn't help but tease you, waggling his eyebrows playfully. "Well, well, looks like someone finally got the courage to make a move!"

Hyunjin joined in with a mock-sympathetic tone. "And here we thought we'd have to wait another century for this to happen!"

You blushed furiously, pulling away from Chan who chuckled in amusement, still holding you close. "You guys have impeccable timing," he remarked, his voice laced with sarcasm.

Jeongin winked at you, "Hey! We're just glad we won't have to hear you two mooning over each other anymore."

[angels-fantasy]

Top Secret Fiction Ch. 4

Farmers Market

Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Description: After meeting the one and only pro hero Dynamight on a dating app, you two begin to see each other. Because of the dangers that come with his hero work, you both promise to be completely honest with each other from the beginning; though you can't help but keep one big secret from him.

You write fan fiction, mostly about him.

Chapter Details: nothing crazy. another date, katsuki being sweet, reader uses their quirk

Word Count: 1.4k

previous chapter

It's been about two weeks since you went on your date with Bakugou and you haven't seen him since, unfortunately. But it was for good reason - his hero work.

Going into this, you knew he'd be extremely busy, but you didn't think he'd be this busy. But you could understand it. Though something you did appreciate was the fact that he did make time to talk to you on the phone and would let you know when he'd have to go hours without talking.

In these past two weeks you also thought about his serious talk with you, about honesty.

Guilt ate away at you every time you started writing or even thought about it, which made it harder to stay active on your writing account.

Your secret really wasn't that big of a deal, but it was still a secret. Fan fiction was also something that had a bad reputation among people who didn't read it, so who knows how Bakugou felt about it.

Your phone ringing broke you out of your thoughts.

Looking at the caller ID, you saw that it was Bakugou. Smiling, you answered it and said "Hi Bakugou!"

"Hey, you busy right now?" He asked.

You looked around your room, as if that'd give you an answer. "Uh no, why?"

"Good. Can you be ready in like - thirty minutes? I'm free for the rest of the day and I wanna hangout now that I actually have time."

How sweet.

"Yeah I'll be ready by then. Are we meeting somewhere?"

"No, I'm picking you up."

"'Kay, see you then. Bye!"

"Bye."

Hanging up, you squealed into your pillow and then looked at the time. It was only 3:00 pm, so you'd have to be ready by 3:30.

As you rushed to get ready you wondered where Bakugou was taking you. He didn't say you had to dress a certain way, so you went for a casual and comfortable outfit.

He didn't seem like the type to take you somewhere extravagant randomly, so you were sure it'd be somewhere that was pretty relaxed.

After getting ready you noticed you had a few minutes left to spare so you decided to go check on the plants you had around your home.

You had about three plants in your home, all of them ranging from different sizes and types. You didn't have many plants in your home because you already had many at your work place.

You attended to each of your plants needs after they had told you what it is they wanted. One wanted more sunlight, the other was thirsty, and one was just fine.

You looked at your phone to check if Bakugou had texted you, and luckily he did. He had sent a text saying he was outside waiting for you.

You smiled and slipped your shoes on, saying bye to Cheerios and your plants like you always did.

Sliding into the passenger seat you said, "Hey stranger. How've you been?"

He smiled lightly, "Sorry I haven't been able to see you. Work keeps me busy but I'm good, you?"

"I get it. I've been good too though. Has anything interesting happened at work?"

Bakugou brought a hand up to his jaw and stroked it while he thought. "Eh, nothing major. I did stop a bank robbery with Red Riot a few days ago though."

You gasped and turned to him, "A whole bank robbery? I feel like that's such a stereotypical situation... you know? Like, you just see it in movies all the time."

"I know, which is why people usually don't attempt to rob a whole bank" He laughed, "But clearly these guys were idiots."

You laughed at that. "I can't even imagine trying to rob a bank. I mean - where would you even start?

The two of you continued to talk on the way to your destination, which he actually told you about this time. He said that there was a farmers market happening nearby and he actually went there pretty often, so he thought he should invite you along with him which you thought was sweet.

When you arrived it was just as you expected and it seemed to be quite busy.

"Wow I can't believe I've never been here before! The decorations are so cute." You said in awe, once you both started walking around.

"You wanna go get food? There's this old dude that sells the best takoyaki at his stand." Bakugou said as you two walked through the crowd.

You nodded, "Yeah I'm down. Takoyaki sounds really good right now - oh and after can we stop at that stand?" You asked, pointing to a stand that was selling crocheted stuffed animals.

He nodded and then held out a hand, "So you don't get lost in the crowd."

Yeah right.

You smiled and grabbed his hand, letting him lead the way to the takoyaki stand. Once you got there you met the old man he mentioned and talked to him for a bit. You found out that he made the takoyaki himself and he'd been doing it for over thirty years!

When it came to paying, Bakugou kept insisting that he would pay for your food but you stood your ground and told him you were just fine paying for your own.

He grumbled about it for a while after but eventually got over it. You two then went over to the stand you mentioned earlier, and looked at the stuffed animals for sale.

"They're so cute! I think I'm gonna buy one." You said to Bakugou.

He hummed, "You should get that one." and pointed to a white jumbo bunny wearing pink overalls.

"You're so right." You said and placed your food down so you could grab the bunny and check for a price tag.

Your eyes widened at the price.

"This thing is sixty bucks!" You whispered to him.

"What? Lemme see." He said and grabbed the bunny from you to look at the tag. His eyebrows raised a bit at the price. "Tsk, I can make this shit myself."

"You crochet?" You asked.

"Sometimes..." He said and looked away.

You laughed and then grabbed the bunny back from him. "Well, I guess it's goodbye bunny. You're just too expensive." You said and sadly put the bunny back where it once was, making sure to grab your takoyaki.

"Wanna go sit under that tree?" You asked and pointed to a large tree with a bench underneath it.

Bakugou nodded and you began making your way over to the bench.

Once you got there you both continued to eat your food in a comfortable silence. Looking up at the tree, you used your quirk and listened.

"This tree has seen a lot of things." You smiled.

"Whaddya mean?" He asked around his food.

"My quirk. I just used it and listened to the tree. She said she's seen a lot of interesting things in this spot, good and bad." You said and listened some more, "Proposals are the most common."

Bakugou smiled, "The tree really said all that?"

"Yeah! Trees have such interesting stories because they've been around so long." You said excitedly.

He looked up at the tree, "I guess I never thought about it like that."

After some more talking and eating, Bakugou offered to throw away your trash for you, which you accepted. He told you to wait at the bench for him, so you did.

It was taking him a bit longer than you thought it would so you began to worry a bit. As you were biting your lip in thought, a touch on your shoulder made you jump.

"Didn't mean to scare ya."

You placed a hand on your chest, "Jeez! You walk so quietly I didn't hear anything."

Bakugou smirked, "Here, I got you something."

He handed you a large, brown paper bag and watched as you looked inside.

"The bunny!" You gasped and pulled it out of the bag. "But it was so expensive, why did you buy this?!"

He shrugged, "You wanted it, and I guess it's okay to look at."

You looked at the bunny intensely and rubbed its head.

"It's so cute... Thank you so much." You said.

"It's not problem, just make sure to name it after me." He joked.

You clicked your tongue and smacked him with the bunny.

...

You guys had ended up spending the rest of the day together, finally leaving the farmers market around 8:30 pm.

When Bakugou pulled up to your house, you hesitated before getting out.

"You good?" He asked.

"Yeah, um. Do you wanna come inside?" You asked quietly.

He smiled the widest you've ever seen him smile and said, "Yeah. Will your plants be okay with it?"

"Har har." You said while rolling your eyes and got out the car, leading him into your house.

next chapter

authors note

sorry for the little cliff hanger :3

also, here's the bunny katsuki bought reader

taglist: @doumadono @54fangirl @andysdrafts @dagger-dragger @lovra974 @l4rsun1vrrse @emmab3mma @littlkittenfan @tatiquichi @cloudxluv @seonne @shonen-brainrot @the2ndl @gold24fish @cxp1d @rv19 @gina329

(those in pink couldn't be tagged)

[denjjisgf]

A LOVE LIKE THIS maneater reader x unsuspecting s. gojo

cw: no smut, just reader being delusional and totally in love with gojo, breaking and entering, stalking, theft. oh yeah, and she's also a serial killer

this isn't what you thought his room would look like.

the clinical grey-on-grey-on-blue color scheme of his apartment made you skeptical. it was giving business-suited misery. the unhappy, lonely bastards never put up a fight. why die fighting for a life not worth living? you'd never understand those pathetic dudes, always leaving you unsatisfied after the kill. after your first few kills, you learned how avoid the type.

anyways, the cold, sterile nature of his apartment put you off from your initial attraction to mister satoru gojo. he had seemed so alive in that coffee shop, flirting up a shameless storm with the young baristia behind the counter. lazy postured and a gleaming smile, everything about him made you dizzy. you imagined the shimmer of fear that would flash in his eyes the moment you had him underneath you.

but his room, cluttered and lived in- it made your heart skip a beat. your blood felt hot and thick, every nerve set ablaze as you breathed in his scent. you pattered around and let yourself meet your prize. the fated next victim as the newspapers call him.

careful not to touch anything- at least enough to where he wouldn't notice- you opened drawers, thumbed through mail, tutting your tongue at the "girls in bikinis: spring breakers madness" subscriber update. how simple-minded, you thought, ditching the envelopes and ripping open french-doors to a closet.

he had impeccable taste. you pursued butter smooth tailored suits, hung up in color order, admiring the craftsmanship and money put in to create his wardrobe. a gaudy pair of baby-pink alligator skin shoes screamed your name and you slipped them on, laughing as you posed in the full length mirror, installed to the wall. in the corner of your reflection, you spot an irregularity: a crumpled sweatshirt, balled on the floor. focused, you waltz over and pluck it from the ground curiously.

hmm, you hum, it's so unlike you honey, i've never seen you dress so casually. hugging it close to your chest, it doesn't take long for you to tug it over your head, adjusting the swallowing sleeves to bunch at your wrists. the smallest smile creeps onto your face and you sigh, heavily.

you spend a few hours at satoru's. he wrapped up at work a while ago, but you know he tends to workout longer on thursdays, it's his busiest day of the week. you know it's good for him to pump out the day's frustrations, plus it keeps him in a god-like shape. but, for whatever reason, he deviates from routine and you forget how to breathe when you hear the chimes of his digital door keypad unlocking.

please not now. you're kicking off the shoes and lining them up with the dozen other pairs. you hear satoru, dropping his bag to the mudroom floor. i need to learn more about him, you split the suits hanging up and dive behind them. his footsteps echo, getting closer and eventually the click of the bedroom door opening. i need more time, just a little more. please.

for once, you weren't quite ready to kill, the weight of taking a life crushing you as silver hair floats by behind the shoulderpads blocking your vision. on the other side of the wall, you hear the shower water running and exhale. waiting just a few moments, you crawl out from your hiding spot, bolting for the exit. you swiftly unlock the front door and flee from his apartment, clutching your shirt in a tight knot over your heart.

wiping the sweat from your brow, you suddenly feel clarity, reminded of why you love the fear, the chase, and thrill of killing. satoru gojo is just a body, and your schoolgirl crush is distracting you from the fact, or so you tell yourself. catching your breath, you look down and realize you're still wearing his sweatshirt.

pt 2

[defenestrationn]

Sebek Angst

trigger Warning *technically major character death?* Yuu has already passed and this is following sebek's Journey of mourning his love

Indented areas are flashbacks

The sounds of soft clicking fill Sebek's study while he worked. Writing had become the crocodile's escape once he was done with his shifts guarding his lord, Malleus. For a while, the loss of his beloved, Yuu, had rendered him a husk. A husk who refused anything out of his routine. 

Wake up. Eat. Guard. Eat again. Journal. Sleep. Repeat. He did that for his whole life. But it felt so much more hollow now. Books full of his grief filled his shelves. The rows above are full of stories you two shared. So many are full of his love and admiration. 

One such book laid open on his desk. Between the furious bursts of typing, he would reread parts of the journal. Relive that moment so he could write it once again. To now allow the world to know his love for you. A part of him wished the stories would go back to you. So you can hear his love once again. 

  laughter filled the broken-down dorm as the first year's all spoke over their notes and food. times where the group just got to be school kids. Not fighting overblots or some crazed person or a ghost bride. They were just allowed to be themselves. 

  Sebek swore only Yuu could foster this environment.  It had been almost a year of their constant blood sweat and tears to make this place habitable. Hell, Even other students enjoyed spending their time here, with or without the prefect.

  Slowly, as the night went on, the students began to go and do their own things. Some go to bed, and others just retire to their rooms to wind down. However,  Sebek stood in the kitchen with the prefect. It had become a routine for the pair to clean up together. light chatter filled the air as the boy was handed wet dishware to dry off. 

  “Human.  I've noticed you've read most of the books in your possession.  We shall go together to select more. Do you need any other stationery?” 

  “I would love to go on a date with you,  Sebek.”

He froze at the way you laughed. Was his intention that obvious?

A soft smile sat on his lips as he relived the beginning of your relationship.  Human.. oh how that word cuts him deep now. humans had such short life spans, even to the half fae. You had passed well into your 80s. And from what Lilia had explained, that was a long healthy life for a human. 

He had kept about 70 years worth of writings about you. Every date you had, he would write in detail, every milestone would have a chapter. All of the love letters you had both sent. He kept all of it. Every memory he had of you. 

Devoted. That's all the boy had ever been to you or Malleus. If he could live, eat and breathe you. He would.

But now, in the nights,  he lives his life glued to his computer.  Giving you another life. Giving you both a new live story. One in the world you would tell him about. One where magic didn't exist. One where he was human too.

 A world where you could live and die together.  Neither suffering for centuries begging for the other. 

  The day you both graduated was one sebek could never forget. You looked absolutely glowing, proud to have kept up in a world that felt like it was against you. And yet, he was the one who screamed your praise the whole way. 

Once the ceremony was over,  Sebek couldn't stop himself from running to you. It was like you were magnetic.  

“Yuu! We did it!” 

He scooped up his partner in his arms as he spun them around. Words couldn't describe the pride and joy he felt over this. After all. He had an important question he had been sitting on since they got together.  

“Yuu! Now that we have graduated. Will you come live with me in Briar Valley?”

He looked back to his bed. Your favorite blanket sat folded beside his pillow. Malleus had enchanted it many years ago to never endure wear and tear. A few years later, sebek had enchanted it to forever smell like you when he had to leave for a trip. 

For a while he had cursed himself for that. The smell would make him cry himself to sleep. Begging the stars to let you return to his arms. But now? He finds great comfort in the blanket. After all, It was the first present when you had agreed to live with him.

His eyes drifted down to the black metal around his finger. It was like a traditional fae wedding ring. One of his homeland. And your matching ring sat on a chain around his neck. As close to his heart as it can get. After a few seconds of looking at his ring, he took the book from his desk to bring back to his shelf. he only took another in it's place. The one labeled “Wedding”.

The book was full, page to page,  about the events of your wedding and honeymoon. About your silly misadventures and how lucky he was to be the one to be by your side through it all.

 The wedding wasn't huge, but Sebek had paid special attention to inviting those close to you. The found family you had made in your time in this world. His family also joined. His siblings teasing the boy relentlessly for his nerves. 

The ceremony was held in a large meadow full of flowers and fireflies.  Thorns grew over arched metal that had been set long before their time. Their guests lined the isle while he stood by the officiant, clad in a dark black suit with accents of gold. His hair wasn't gelled back for once.  Instead,  he allowed the fluffy green hair to rest naturally,  the way his dear partner loved so much.

Sebek couldn't help but fiddle with the hem of his leather gloves. Once he heard the music began to fill the wind, he took them off. It was time to see his beautiful spouse. 

“You looked radiant as always, my heart.” His voice was soft as his fingers brushed over the picture of them having their first dance together.  Tears burned his eyes as he held the book close. What he would give to truly be back in those moments. One day, he will be back with his love.  Until then. He will continue to give them a new life through these books.

A/n!

This has been eating at me for a week. Hopefully yall enjoy!!

[thechaoticdruid]

[This Bites] (1)

Pairing: Astarion x F! Chubby! MC

Plot: Through some mysterious and very miraculous events, a young woman finds herself literally stuck with a character from her current video game obsession. You can guess it already. It's an isekai type fanfic. Except in this case Astarion is stuck in our modern world.  I was gonna call the MC Tav, but since the actual game character Tav is mentioned I just named her Winnie. 

Content Warnings: Death….sorta, An asshole of a stepdad, MC uses She/Her pronouns, eventual smut and sexual content in future parts. Characters may be Ooc, grammar/spelling mistakes are possible. MC has very low self esteem. Depressed MC.

Chapter One: You are here!

Chapter Two: Here!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

“Argh I knew something would go wrong with this game!” The female huffed, staring down at her computer. Her eyes scanned over the error message titled ‘Character not found.’ She gritted her teeth in frustration. “God forbid I try mods….” 

The young woman groaned, shutting her laptop and falling back onto the bed. Apparently after finally installing a cheat mod onto Baldur's Gate 3 the game decided to retaliate and locked her out of her save files. She couldn't even create a new character either! The same ‘Character not found’ message seemed to pop up no matter what she did. The girl’s name was Winnie, a college student in her early twenties who was still living at home. Not too long ago Winnie had gotten the game upon release. She'd played it several times since then and even yet was still able to find some hidden secrets she didn't notice the first time. Honestly this game had really helped with her current state. Life had just been dull and miserable. All her friends had moved on and had their own lives now and she really wasn't the best at making new ones. 

She had a dull boring job, did online writing classes and also had to put up with the asshole her mother married. This game had been a godsend for her these past few months. It gave her an escape. A way to be someone else, at least for a little while anyway. 

Not to mention live out her somewhat cringey teenage girl fantasy of dating a walking red flag of a vampire. In this game she felt important. Like she was some badass heroine who was ready to take on any foe.  Not the shy, scared, awkward woman who she saw in the mirror.

Her cat Maddie broke Winnie from her thoughts as she hopped up onto the bed and crawled onto the young woman's chest. Winnie ran her hand over the cat's thick fluffy black fur.  Maddie gave a small mew before purring noisily and gently kneading her claws into Winnie’s chest.

Winnie sighed, scratching the sides of Maddie's face as she was soothed by the feline’s pur. 

“WINNIE! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!!” A gruff male voice shouted from the other room, causing Maddie to jump and scramble off of Winnie and hide under the bed. 

The brunette haired girl sighed and got up, walking out of the room and cautiously stepping down the hall. 

“Yes, Brian?” Winnie spoke up as she entered the kitchen.  She looked over to see her stepfather stumbling about. Brian was a rather large man with short dark hair and beard. He was well….very unpleasant.

“Where are the goddamn car keys?” He growled out. 

“Dunno, I don't drive.” Winnie said calmly as she leaned up against the wall, “mom probably put them somewhere. Check the coffee table by the recliner.” 

Brian stomped off, a tiny tan fluff of a dog following after him.  He grabbed the keys before walking back into the kitchen. 

“I'm going to the store. Keep that stupid cat of yours in your room! It keeps shitting all over the carpet!” 

“I've told you over and over. Maddie only goes in the litter box. It's your dog that keeps making a mess in the house because you don't take him outside when he needs to go.” Winnie rolled her eyes.

“Don't fucking talk back to me! You're lucky your mother lets you stay here, if it was up to me you'd have been kicked out of here a long time ago.”  Brain snapped, making Winnie flinch a little at his tone.  “Now make sure the trash is taken out before I get back.” He said before stomping out the front door and slamming it behind him.  Winnie flinched once again at the loud sound before letting out a sigh and pulling the trash out of the can despite the fact that she distinctly remembered her mother telling Brian to take it out this morning. 

Winnie took out the trash before coming back inside heading back to her room. Her eyes scanned over her laptop as Maddie crawled out from under the bed.  She walked back over and opened the device, logging herself on before attempting to open her game back up.

[Character not found.]

Winnie groaned before filling out a bug report and then putting her computer up. She needed to get ready and go to work anyway. 

~•~•~•~•~•~•~

A few days had passed and nothing seemed to work. Winnie had disabled and deleted all the mods, sent in about a dozen but reports and still nothing. The only thing left she could try now was uninstalling the game and then reinstalling it. 

Winnie sat on the bed waiting patiently for the game to download though she knew it would at least take an hour. She pulled out her cellphone, noticing a text from her mother. The message was informing Winnie that Brian and her mom wouldn't be home until late tonight. At least this meant she'd have plenty of peace and quiet in the meantime. The young woman spread out on her bed, stretching her limbs before slowly closing her eyes, resting lazily.

Time passed as she slowly dozed off…Eventually she was awoken by the sound of beeping? It was some strange noise that she couldn't quite put her finger on. She quickly looked over to her laptop and her eyes widened as she noticed it seemed to be going crazy. Blinking and beeping.

“What the fuck!?” She exclaimed, grasping her computer and frantically clicking the mousepad. 

Then the screen went black before seemingly returning to the home screen. However, everything on the computer was gone save for one shortcut. Baldur's Gate 3.

The game’s shortcut sat in the very center of the computer, practically screaming at Winnie to click on it. She clicked it and the game opened up. 

Everything seemed to go as normal up until the title screen.  Winnie’s eyes widened in shock as she noticed all of the menu options were gone aside from (New Game).  She raised an eyebrow before clicking on the only option available and waiting as the opening cinematic played. Everything continued as it usually did. Winnie created her Tav, a human druid with an urchin background, then proceeded to hop into the game. 

Winnie did a bit of a speed run, moving through the Nautiloid as quickly as she could. She recruited Us, Lae'zel and freed Shadowheart before reaching the helm and crashing the ship.

Upon reaching the ravaged beach was when things began to get strange. 

The game buffered and blinked a bit, skipping the scene where Tav would check themselves out followed by some voiced narration. Tav was kinda just there on the beach. 

“Oh God. The game is glitching….” Winnie whined. She sighed in annoyance before clicking on the ground where she wanted Tav to walk. Winnie REALLY did not feel like uninstalling the game and waiting another hour to try again so she decided she'd play for as long as the game would allow.  Winnie had Tav wander over towards where Shadowheart would normally be laying after crash, only to find an empty space where the half elf should be.  Winnie groaned assuming it was another glitch before continuing on along the beach. While most things were there like the dead bodies and the intellect devourer enemies, Winnie did not see any sign of Shadowheart at all. Not even near the ruins where she'd be if she wasn't rescued by the player.  Winnie decided to quickly go and look for the other characters, sneaking her way past the little brain creatures and moving down the path where Astarion, the elven rogue companion, would be waiting to ambush the player.  He was Winnie’s favorite. She had a soft spot for sassy morally grey characters with tragic backstories. And he was also secretly a vampire to boot which just added to the appeal.  Winnie had her Tav approach the area before she let out a sigh of relief seeing as the vampiric elf was in his starting area shouting for help like normal. At least the game wasn't completely broken.

“Hurry I've got one of those brain things cornered.” Astarion’s dialogue began as soon as Tav got close enough to interact with him.  “There in the grass, you can kill it can't you? Like you killed the others?” 

“Uh….I kinda actually didn't kill any of them…Heheh.” Winnie chuckled before dragging her mouse over the dialogue choices.

1. [Easily, stand back.]

2. Kill it yourself. You seem capable.

3. Leave

Winnie clicked on choice 1 before her Tav walked over to check the tall grass for the intellect devourer that was actually non-existent. 

Instead a wild boar leapt from the grass and made Tav jump in surprise, giving Astarion the perfect opportunity to strike. He pinned the druid to the ground, pressing a dagger to her neck.

“Shhh…Shhh….Not a sound…Not if you want to keep that darling neck of yours.” The vampire practically purred out.  Winnie blushed, a shiver going down her spine. There was a reason she always found herself choosing the elven vampire as her character’s love interest. Initially when she first got the game she felt he came off as a pompous prick (which he is) but damn he was so fucking seductive. It drove Winnie absolutely mad. Not to mention it helped given he had sweet delicious character development later on in his story and actually could be kind of a sweetheart… To the player at least.  

The romance in this game had to be Winnie’s favorite aspect of it. She was very romantically inexperienced to say the least and this just added to what made the game her perfect escape from reality. It made her feel like someone actually liked her. Winnie prepared to select the next dialogue choice when suddenly she noticed they had changed. 

1. [……….]

2. ………..

3. ……….

4. ……….

She looked up and saw a smirk form on Astarion's lips, his eyes appeared as if he was staring back at Winnie from through the screen. Before she could speak Astarion slit Tav's throat and let them drop onto the ground.

“What. The. Fuck.” The brunette haired female went pale as she stared at her computer screen. Astarion sighed in what sounded like relief?

“Finally, we've done that old song and dance so many times! The novelty has completely worn off.” He stretched out his arms, before wiping his dagger on the ground. “It feels so invigorating to try something new, wouldn't you agree?” 

“Uhh…..What's going on?” Winnie asked aloud. She was shaking a bit in both confusion and a little fear.  Her character was kinda just laying on the ground dead…and Astarion was talking….to her!?

“Oh dear, it seems I've gone and frightened you. Ahaha!” Astarion chuckled before appearing to move closer to the screen, even going so far to place his hand on it…

“Hello darling…”

[fetusgooseandjuice]

Sweet Dreams

Pairing(s): Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/N and Wanda return to their home after a month of hiding out with the avengers and Y/N is struggling with sleeping at night, but everything is okay when she’s in her loves arms.

Word Count: 1,463

Warnings: Nightmares

Second Person POV:

You stood in the doorway of Wanda's office room. She was sat at her desk, and you watched her fingers move against the keyboard keys as she typed.

When Wanda noticed your presence she momentarily shifted her attention away from the screen to look at you, "Oh, hey, detka. I thought you'd be asleep by now. What're you still doing up?" Wanda asked, going back to typing.

Your sock covered feet patted against floor as you entered the room, plopping yourself down on her lap and letting your legs slip through the arms of the chair. You wrapped your arms around Wandas' neck, and rested your head on her shoulder.

Her eyebrows slightly furrowed when you just sat quiet, "What's up, dorogaya? Are you feeling okay?" she questioned, laying one hand on the small of your back while the other clicked around on the monitor with the mouse.

"I was waiting for you to come to bed. I didn't want to fall asleep without you." you explained, inhaling her comforting scent and letting your eyes fall shut.

Wanda glanced down at the time in the bottom corner of the screen, it was nearly eleven o'clock at night. "I'm sorry, darling. I didn't mean to make you wait so long. I just really need to get these mission reports in to Fury, and I lost track of time."

"It's okay, Wands." you lifted your head to press a gentle kiss to her neck in assurance. "Are you almost done?" you asked.

She sighed, "Not really, I've still got a little ways to go. I'm behind on a months worth of mission reports."

A month.

That's how long ago the avengers were forced to lay low for. After confronting a new foe, a full-fledge fight broke out. It all worked out in the end, but they thought it would be best to hide out in a safe house until things calmed down.

Everyone was left on edge, Clint and Wanda especially when their loved ones got caught in the cross-fire. Clint's family was attacked, and Wanda had to save you when you were in trouble as well.

At that point, the avengers mutually agreed that you, and the Barton family needed to tag along for your own safety. Now that things have settled down, everyone returned to the compound a few days ago, you and Wanda to your shared home.

Even though everything was back to normal, you were still a bit shaken up and could only sleep at night when Wanda was there to make you feel safe. That's why you were sat on her lap, clinging to her like a koala as she worked.

You nodded your head with a yawn.

Wanda looked down at you and sent you a sad smile, letting go of the mouse to brush a few stray hairs out of your face, "You're tired, baby girl. Go ahead back to bed, let me just save this and I'll be right there."

You shook your head and tightened your arms around her, "I'm okay, I know you need to finish this. Can I just stay here with you until you're done?" you quietly asked.

"Yeah, of course." she responded. "I'm gonna be a little while, though. Are you sure you're alright with waiting because I can turn it off for the night." Wanda questioned just to make sure.

You nodded your head, "I'm sure. Just wanna be close to you." you said, nuzzling your face into the crook of her neck.

Although it made Wandas' heart flutter, she was sad that now you felt scared to sleep alone at night. She couldn't help but think she could've protected you more when everything happened.

Wanda ran a comforting hand over your back while the other continued to type, "You're alright, detka. Close your eyes and go to sleep, I'll be here the whole time, m'kay?" she spoke softly, pressing a lingering kiss to your hairline. "I love you so much, sweet girl."

"I love you too, Wands." you mumbled, finally letting yourself drift off.

Wanda made sure you fell into a peaceful sleep by continuing to caress your back and occasionally pressing kisses to your head before returning her full attention to her unfinished paperwork.

~~~

Wandas' fingers continued to move swiftly across the keyboard as she typed. You sat on her lap with your head rested in the crook of her neck, sound asleep.

However, your restful state didn't last very long. It was only about an hour later when you let out a quiet whimper. Thinking that you just needed a little bit of comfort, Wanda slipped her hand under your shirt to rub your back.

Though when a few more whimpers followed by some incoherent words escaped your lips, she frowned. She pushed her work to the side for a moment to gently stroke your hair, but as her hand made contact with your head you flinched in your sleep.

Your once incoherent words now became somewhat louder and Wanda was able to make out a few panicked No's and Stop's.

"Shhh, malysh. You're okay, shhh." she tried to sooth you, but you just started to tremble and thrash slightly.

Wanda only decided to wake you up when she felt your tears against the skin of her neck. "Y/N, dorogaya. Wake up for me, darling, come on." she repeated to you.

She knows that you shouldn't wake up someone who's having a nightmare, but Wanda just couldn't bare to see you like this. It hurt her to know that you were hurting even if it wasn't physically.

So she reluctantly hovered her hand just over your temple, red wisps swirled around her fingers as she woke up your body.

Your eyes shot open and your head quickly popped up. Your heart was racing as you looked around the room, the memory of your nightmare still lingering very clearly.

But Wanda was quick to comfort you, "Shhh, detka, shhh. It's okay, you're okay." she spoke softly as she gently guided your head back to lay on her shoulder. "I have you. You're safe. You'll always be safe with me."

You buried your head into her neck as more tears fell from your eyes, but Wanda never let you go. Your hands were gripping the back of her shirt so tightly she thought it might rip, but Wanda couldn't have cared less.

She just wanted you to feel safe in her arms, and you did. You trusted Wanda when she told you that you were safe with her because she would never made you think otherwise.

Wanda continued to whisper sweet, reassuring words into your ears as she let you cry it out, knowing that you would feel at least a little better afterwards.

"I'm sorry." you sniffled as your breathing finally began to regulate.

Wanda furrowed her eyebrows, "For what, sweet girl?"

"For being so clingy." you quietly answered, looking up at her with bloodshot eyes.

She shook her head, running her thumb over your cheek to wipe away a tear, "You don't need to be sorry for that, detka. You're still shaken up, and understandably so."

"Yeah, but I should be able to sleep on my own. And I probably just interrupted your work with my nightmare. I'm sorry." you responded, hiding your face in her neck once again.

"Stop apologizing, moya lyubov'. " Wanda pecked your temple, "You went through something really scary, I understand that. I don't care how clingy you might think you're being, if it makes you feel even just a little bit better then i'll hold you for as long as you want me to, okay?" she spoke softly in your ear.

You looked up at Wanda only to find her already looking down at you with loving eyes, "Okay." you agreed.

"Good." she responded, "I can finish my work tomorrow so let's head up to bed now, yeah? We'll be more comfortable there." she suggested, starting to get up when you whined.

You shook your head, "I don't feel like moving." you pouted.

"Who said anything about you having to move?" she said with a playful frown on her face as she stood to her feet, picking you up with her.

You let out a small shriek, quickly hooking your legs around her torso to hold on. You and Wanda giggled as she made her way to your shared bedroom, letting you both flop down onto the bed.

Wanda pulled you into her arms just as she promised and let your head rest on her chest. You talked quietly for a while to let yourself lull back to sleep, and when you did it made Wandas' heart flutter.

She gazed down at you with a small smile, "Sweet dreams, dorogaya."

[tigergirltail]

TIGER HRT CHAPTER 4 - MONTH 3 - GROWING PAINS

First - Prev - Next

Everything hurts.

I started noticing it about two weeks after my first dose. It felt like a dull headache at first, but over the next month it spread to pretty much my entire body.

I had to start working from home, and eventually it got bad enough that I could only put in a few hours of work each day. My boss is a reasonable enough guy, but he wasn't going to pay a full time salary for part time hours, so I had to take a salary cut.

Luckily, my partner is around to take care of daily errands, not to mention being there to reassure and comfort me when the pain gets bad. They've been thinking about seeing if Lindwurm HRT is a thing, but they don't want to get the process started until I'm in the clear and can take care of myself again.

Gods I love them.

The reason the pain is happening, as best I can tell, is that my skeletal structure is already changing. I've gotten at least an inch taller, and my face has been reshaping into a feline muzzle. My teeth are getting sharper, and I'm developing proper fangs. I also noticed a little while ago that my fingernails and toenails had receded into their respective digits, which sucks for two reasons - I can't paint fingernails I don't have, and they are sore as HELL when I put any amount of pressure on them. I have to be REALLY careful with how I type to not inflict agony on myself. I'm also feeling my tail growing in, and even if it hurts, it's euphoric as HELL. A tail was always the part I wanted most out of this.

It's weird, the skeletal changes weren't supposed to happen this early. I've been trying to reach Dr. Erian about it, but he's constantly busy, probably because of the sudden surge of people looking for Humanity Removal Therapy.

Other than that, I've been getting areas of white and black fur coming in - mostly on my arms and legs, but a little bit on my face and ears - ears that are gradually reshaping and migrating. Nothing to report on hearing sensitivity, but I think my night vision is getting better.

I did a little bit of looking around for anyone with similar pain experiences. I got my hopes up when I found a girl, Antonina, who had a painful experience with Cat HRT, but it turns out it's because she took the rumoured Fifteen Minute version. She described the pain as "like bathing in an active volcano".

It leaves me wondering whether I would have preferred a 15-minute lava bath over a months-long full-body headache.

I ended up reaching out to her anyway, just because I wanted to know what I was in for in the endgame and feline HRT is rarer than I thought it would be. Sounds like the prey drive is the real deal - she keeps feeling the urge to bite this one girl who's on mouse HRT.

We've been spending some time comparing notes and getting to know each other. It's nice to know someone else who's going through this thing, even if our experiences aren't exactly one-to-one.

I also talked to my mother for the first time in nearly a year. I went No Contact with her a while back because she was only getting more obnoxious and combative about me being trans, but I figured changing my species is a big enough deal that I should keep her in the loop.

Besides, my savings had nearly dried up and I needed to ask her for money.

It… did not go well. She hadn't heard of therian HRT before, and once I explained it, she started panicking about how I'm "mutilating my body" with "untested treatments". I think I also heard her cry something about how her "son" is "killing himself", which is just multiple layers of insensitive.

At least she sent me some money. Hopefully it'll be enough to last until my transformation stops being agonizing and I can go back to work, and then I can go right back to pretending my family doesn't exist.

At roughly the three-month mark, I have a check-in video call with Dr. Erian. From the moment his face appears on screen, though, I can tell something is wrong. He seems… older, somehow.

"Hello, Miss Alexis.", he offers. He sounds tired. Sorrowful, even.

"Hey, doc." I have to ask about it. "Everything okay? You seem a bit tired."

"Nothing to worry about Miss Alexis, just the ordinary stresses of daily life."

Liar. I know I'm not entitled to details of your personal life, much less your professional secrets, but I know when something is eating at someone.

"…Does the word 'crossroads' mean anything to you, Miss Alexis?"

Huh? That came a bit out of left field. "I've… heard some other therian HRT patients use the term, but I don't know much of the details. Something about a point of no return?"

"Something of the sort." He lowers his head and seems to go from sorrowful to downright grim. "There will come a time, Miss Alexis, when you will have to make a very important decision in your care, and I ask that you do so with great consideration for the consequences."

I recoil a little in my seat. "Yeah… Of course I will. Any decision I make, even reaching out to you in the first place, I don't take it lightly."

"Good… That's good." His demeanor shifts back to his stoic, clinical self. I don't know what just happened, but he went somewhere for a moment there.

"Now then, I did receive your messages, I apologize for not getting back to you. You mentioned you were experiencing persistent and debilitating whole-body soreness?"

"Yeah. I can't even leave the apartment most days, it hurts so much."

"Odd… You are taking the treatment as directed, yes?"

"Of course. One tablespoon a week, just like it says on the bottle."

I see his eyes twitch behind his glasses. Did I say something wrong?

"…Teaspoon."

I cock my head to the side. "Say again?"

"You mean one TEASPOON a week, yes?"

I feel my heart sink. The dark smear on the dosage information… I could have sworn it said '1 tbsp/week'.

"…Could you hold on a second please?" I mute the mic and call out to my partner to bring the bottle of tiger HRT over. When they do, I unmute and hold it up to the webcam. I hear Dr. Erian take a sharp intake of breath as he notices the obscured instructions.

I set the bottle aside and the two of us share an awkward silence.

"So…", I begin. "…How bad is it?"

"The good news", he offers slowly, "is that you have only been taking three times the prescribed dose. An increased dose imbalances the growth rate of the different parts of your body, hence your pain and persistent weakness, but it could have been much worse."

I think back to the so-called Fifteen Minute version, and Antonina's description of it - like bathing in an active volcano.

Dr. Erian continues. "Assuming you return to a CORRECT dose, your growth rates will gradually level out over the course of the next month or so. It is my medical opinion that you should maintain a low-activity lifestyle until then, but you will eventually be able to return to your typical activity level, and you will also find that the physical effects become more… consistent."

"That's… reassuring. Thank you, doctor." I pause. Something I noticed a little while ago has been weighing on my mind. "There's one thing, though - do the treatments have… I guess you'd call them restorative or regenerative effects? I've noticed some old wounds aren't there anymore."

The doctor clicks his pen and brings up his notepad. "Interesting. Do go on, Miss Alexis."

"Well… I used to get lower back pain from a car crash injury I got a little over a year ago, but I haven't noticed it at all lately. Pretty much the only part that DOESN'T hurt… There also used to be some marks on my arm from a cat biting me when I was little." I give a slight smile. "The cat's name was Tiger, go figure."

Dr. Erian is writing the whole time I'm talking. "Yes, that is to be expected. Minor persistent injuries will fade over time as your body re-forms itself to a new baseline, even severe chronic symptoms may fade. If there are no other concerns…"

"Just one… Most of the other therian HRT patients I've talked to have gotten their meds as pills, so what's with the potion bottle?"

Dr. Erian pauses, and adjusts his glasses nervously, as if he's been caught out on something he doesn't want to admit to. "Well… advances in the field are occurring rapidly, and you are one of the more recent patients, so a more… streamlined option was available to you. I took the liberty of choosing the most compatible option based on your medical records, and that bottle is it."

"Okay… But what's IN it?"

"The active ingredients are antihominidone, which is your humanity-blocker, and a specialized formula of felistrogen, infused with white tiger genetic material. The rest of the fluid is a suspension used to dilute the effects, without which you would be looking at a short, but excruciating and potentially lethal process."

The Fifteen Minute version, I think to myself. I'm taking diluted Fifteen Minute meds. There's no WAY this isn't experimental, and I'M the experiment. I despise saying it, but maybe my mother was right to worry.

"But I'm afraid I really do have to go, Miss Alexis, my next appointment is waiting."

"G-gotcha. See ya, doctor."

---

Special thanks to @paintedbytosia for letting me write her in, and shoutout to @megamoonerjenny for coming up with 'antihominidone'