#but I've liked Betty longer so

[snoopypliot]

"Catch me if you can!"

Betty Jetty is my favorite female villain i swear I love her so much

[potatoplace]

the 1

Elriel, Azriel x Archeron!Reader

Alternate Endings: Gone | betty | The Prophecy

mini-series masterlist | ACOTAR x reader masterlist

Story Summary: All you had ever wanted to be was plain. And now, as a plain-faced High Fae, you want more. You want your mate.

Warnings: mentions of self-harm, self-loathing, suicide

Words: ~2.6k

Author's Note: I'm sorry. (I told you guys I've been having a rough week...) Apparently my brain is saying 'fuck Kinktober!' Even tho like. I WANT to write those... smut just doesn't feel in the cards for me today 😩 so have some tasty tasty angst instead. (I'm also watching an Eras Tour live so I'm hella cheered up now lol)

18+ only pls

🤍💙🩷💙🤍

Self loathing grew in your gut as you watched your family around you.

All of them were happy, reveling in the togetherness that they shared.

And your mate- your mate- was ignoring you. He was speaking to one of your sisters, absolutely enamored with her. And you couldn’t blame him.

Elain had always been the pretty one of the four of you, a shining diamond even in the filth of poverty.

Nesta was the one with regal beauty, her sharp eyes and the way she carried herself not letting anyone think otherwise.

Your twin, Feyre, was stunning, even if she herself had never seen it, the cleverness in her eyes and quiet grace drawing people’s gaze to her.

And then there was you.

You were… the ugly one. Your mother had said so, even though you were only a child when she passed. Your father had quietly agreed with her. Nesta had mocked your looks when she had had a bad day, which was nearly every day while you had been living in the run down hut after your family lost their fortune. Elain said nothing, but shot pitying looks at you when no suitor asked for a dance while you had still been human, even when it had been a ball thrown in your honor for your birthday. Feyre has been the kindest to you, reminding you that it’s what on the inside that counts…

But that didn’t appear to be so.

Even with a mating bond that you knew should draw Azriel’s attention, his eyes were still glued to Elain. He seemed to be able to breathe only when in her presence, taking in the same air as her.

And in your presence? He couldn’t seem to get away fast enough.

Being dumped into the Cauldron had made both of your sisters even prettier, and Feyre was no exception either after being turned High Fae.

For you, it had made you plain. No longer ugly, unless you counted the still crooked teeth and too small nose and thin mouth.

Just plain.

As a human, you had begged to whatever higher power there was that you could just be plain.

But now that you were, you knew it would never be enough.

Because while Feyre was right, your personality mattered more in a long term relationship than your looks, being pretty drew people in.

Being plain only made you fade into the background.

Azriel laughed at something Elain had said, the sound sending warmth through your body.

It should be you making him laugh, not Elain.

Elain, with her beauty and poise and perfect personality and her ridiculously handsome mate who wanted nothing but her time.

Elain, who seemed to want no one and no thing but your mate.

Your Azriel.

You tore your gaze away from the couple, who you already knew were in a relationship. Elain had confessed it to you a month ago, gushing about how their fifth date had gone and how she thought he was the one. She had told you first, knowing that you wouldn’t tell anyone.

After all, who would you tell?

It’s not like you had any friends in Velaris- or in the human lands, for that matter- and your other two sisters were so preoccupied with their mates and growing personal circles that they hardly had the time to look at you, let alone talk to you.

No. You were alone. You were a lockbox for all of her secrets.

Including that she was planning to officially reject the mating bond once Azriel offered a proposal of marriage.

That had made you sick to your stomach, but you had hidden it deep, deep down in your heart as you congratulated her and faked happiness, asking her when she thought he would propose.

“Any day now, I suspect. Azriel told me that he was planning for the future, and wanted to know if I would like to be a part of it,” she had sighed dreamily. “We just need to tell the family, I know that… Rhys was worried about what us being together would mean for court relations. But he’s just being dramatic, don’t you think?” Her chocolate eyes landed on you, so filled with hope that you couldn’t tell her that he was your mate.

“Yes, he’s just worried, ‘Lain. I’m sure everything will be fine,” you managed to say, and relatively normal at that.

That was last night, and while your eyes had drifted to the carpeting, they shot back upwards at the sound of clinking metal on glass.

Your mate, standing with a flute of sparkling wine in his hand and a knife in his other, had his arm locked with Elain’s.

He cleared his throat once he had everyone’s attention, his eyes passing over everyone-

But you. His eyes skipped over you, even now, with the bond flaring in your chest.

“Elain and I have something to announce, though Rhys already knows what it is.” You heard a hand slap against an arm, Rhys’s faked moan of pain, and Nesta scolding her mate. Azriel smiled at their antics, such a rarity on his face that your heart skipped several beats, leaving you lightheaded.

It most certainly wasn’t because of what they were announcing.

“Elain and I have been dating for the past two months, and we would like to make it official with you all now. In fact, the two of us will be moving into a cottage in town later in the month, and we would like to invite you all to join us for a housewarming party in two weeks.”

The inner circle broke into cheers around you, Cassian immediately encasing his brother in his arms and clapping him on the back.

“Congratulations, brother! I know you’ve waited a long time to find love.”

You remained seated where you were, offering a smile to the happy couple but staying put.

If you stood, you were sure to faint. Or be sick. Or both.

Nesta was the only other person who remained where they were, a skeptical look on her face.

“I hate to be the person to bring the party down…” She started, her voice weary. “But what of your mates? Haven’t you wanted one for your whole life, Azriel? What will happen when you find her?”

“If I find her, I will reject the bond, Nesta. My love for Elain eclipses that of what I thought possible, even with a mating bond. Nothing and no one will ever compare to your sister,” Azriel answered, which seemed to be enough to have Nesta’s approval, as she stood and made her way to the couple.

“Then I’m happy for the both of you. But if you ever hurt my sister, you will deal with me,” Nesta warned, ice in her tone.

You didn’t stick around to hear what came next.

Nothing and no one will ever compare to your sister.

And of course, he was right. How could you compare to Elain?

She was beautiful, yes, but she was also a perfect match for Azriel. Kind and caring, always ready to help people, not to mention she would be a wonderful mother.

And then there was you. Plain. Boring. Nothing special.

Even the Cauldron hadn’t thought anything of you, leaving you with a High Fae body but no magic to speak of.

You couldn’t even fathom why you had been made Azriel’s mate when Elain was such a wonderful pairing to him, and had the magical abilities to match.

You stumbled your way to the town house, where you had taken up residence once Feyre and Rhys had finished the river house. Once inside you quickly made it to your room and shucked off your clothes after locking the door.

Bare, you stood before the mirror and assessed yourself. It was a habit you had picked up once your family had regained their fortune after Feyre had been stolen away.

One that brought you no comfort, but you needed to do.

Your physique was fine, you had filled out in the past year of being fae.

But there was nothing… special about you. You were medium height. Your chest was a bit smaller than average. Your legs were on the shorter side, making your torso look too long.

And your legs… they were covered in small white scars.

Another habit that you had picked up, this time after turning fae.

And tonight would be no different.

You suppose the one saving grace of being turned fae was your quick healing, letting you destroy your body without anyone knowing.

And no one ever would, seeing as your mate was on his way to being married to your sister.

A sigh left your lips as you turned to your bed, fishing the small blade you kept underneath out from below the mattress.

Tonight would be no different.

Except now you knew that even if you confessed your bond to Azriel, your heart would be torn to shreds no matter what.

🤍💙🩷💙🤍

It was two months later, during Starfall, that your world crumbled further.

You had donned a plain dress in a midnight blue, with long flowing sleeves and reaching your feet. You had opted for flats, seeing as no one would pay you enough attention to notice if you were in heels or not.

No, no one would notice you at all.

Because Azriel had a ring in his pocket.

One that you had given him advice on, to choose something Elain would love.

A glutton for punishment, that’s what you were as you gazed at the beautiful couple, clad in matching blue outfits and beaming at one another.

You had attempted to stay home that night, only for Azriel himself to personally fly you up to the House of Wind, insisting that you needed to be there for Starfall.

You knew he meant their engagement, though.

He hadn’t even glanced your way once last Starfall, so you knew it wasn’t that you would be missed by him.

Still, you stood on one of the balconies, watching them. Waiting for the moment that your life would be forever altered, never to have a great love.

Because truly, your one chance at a great love was a mating bond. You knew that no one would choose you to spend their life with, not when you were so plain and boring with nothing to draw people in, to get to know you.

They were dancing together, so wrapped up in each other that it was painful to watch.

And then your feet were moving, leading you straight to them. You met them right as the song finished, the two of them just inches apart.

It stung.

“Azriel, may I speak to you for a moment?” You asked without realizing the words had left your mouth. “Alone, please? It will just be a moment, I promise.”

You cringed at yourself.

What were you doing?

Azriel glanced down at Elain, who nodded with a smile. “Of course. I’ll be right back, sweetheart,” he said softly, placing a gentle kiss to Elain’s lips before following you back into the House, away from the commotion.

“What’s this about, Y/N?” Azriel asked in a clipped tone once you were alone, anxiously glancing back to where you had left Elain.

“I…” You hesitated, the words catching in your throat. Are you really going to tell him?

“Well?” He asked impatiently, his shadows swirling around him.

“I… I’m your mate,” you said, the words rushing out all at once, and your tore your eyes away from his face and to the floor.

“You’re… You’re joking, right?” Azriel asked incredulously.

A dagger of ice to the heart, crafted of your own yearning and longing for him, for your mate.

“No, I… It’s true, Azriel. I am your mate.” Your eyes flicked back up to his face after you said it again, but you wished you hadn’t.

Anything would be better than seeing the horror in his eyes, the disgust twisting his features.

The dagger, forced in further by a hand smacking the hilt.

“You?” Azriel laughed. “Why would the Cauldron make you my mate?”

Twisting, bleeding, shredding your soul apart even as you felt the bond flare to life on his end, the very slightest stumble as he regarded you.

“I… I don’t know…” You whispered, barely audible.

“You’re not my mate,” Azriel said, stepping away from you. “You were never going to be my mate. You’re a fine enough person, sure, but how could you compare to Elain?” He shook his head, snickering to himself. “I suppose these five hundred years of waiting were for nothing. I’ll tell Cassian or Rhys take you back to the town house. Just…” He sighed. “Don’t take it personally. It’s not you, it’s me, hmm?”

And with that, the bond between the two of you was shredded, a wounded cry leaving your lips as you sank to the ground, clutching your chest where it used to reside, glowing brightly and giving you a reason to go on.

“I think it’s best for you to stay away from Elain and I. I wouldn’t want you getting territorial and ripping my love’s throat out of anything. Goodbye, Y/N.”

You barely heard him walk away, so overwhelmed with pain.

Why me?

Why was I his mate?

Why didn’t I just drown in the Cauldron?

With a great deal of trying, you managed to hoist yourself back onto your feet, stumbling your way to one of the unoccupied balconies, still clutching your chest.

Your gaping, empty chest.

Because Azriel still had your heart. He had shredded it, mangled it beyond believe but it still resided with him, leaving you with nothing but a hole where it used to be.

Your legs crashed into the edge of the balcony, your hands flying to the stone to steady you.

But it didn’t help, everything was still spinning, blood rushing in your ears as your heart kept beating somehow, somehow still physically intact even as you felt it was being ripped from your chest over and over and over.

You couldn’t breathe.

You couldn’t live.

The very fact that Elain was so casual, so blasé about shredding a bond to bits had you questioning everything you thought you knew about your sister.

How could she condemn someone to this existence?

Because already, you weren’t living.

This couldn’t be living.

It couldn’t be.

You risked a peak over the edge, spying the sharp, jagged rocks below.

If you weren’t living now…

Before you could second guess your choice, you lifted yourself onto the balcony, letting your legs dangle for a moment.

Then you swung them over the stone, to the side that had nothing to catch you.

Well, nothing but the cold embrace of death.

Which at this point would be a welcome reprieve from the fiery hot grief flooding through you, grief at the bond that was never given a chance, a moment to be considered.

But perhaps that was all the consideration you needed. To know that you would only have been a burden of mate to the male you had fallen for.

You took one last, jagged breath into your lungs before you slid off the smooth stone, air rushing past you and-

This must be what it feels like to fly.

General Taglist: @daughterofthemoons-stuff @lilah-asteria

[webslingingslasher]

Crush

Genre: fluff

Word count: 6k

Summary: you like peter, he doesn't get it. until you confide in spider-man

i hope you guys like this, i've been really really busy at work but i'm working on my other fic i promise.

You didn’t know Peter Parker was Spider-Man. 

To be fair, no one really knew. Tony Stark knew because he knows everything, May knows because she walked in on him in the suit, so did Ned, and MJ found out on her own, because, well, she knows everything. So enter in you, a girl who moved into the city and got into a smart kid school. Almost immediately you befriended MJ, you sat next to her in English and noticed her head stuck in a book. You leaned over into her space, you saw her tense up and smiled at her eyes peeking at you through the corners.

“Hi, I’m Y/N. I’m new here and I want to die in a falling elevator, what about you?” 

MJ peered at you and smirked, she stuck out a hand to shake yours.

“Hi, I’m MJ. I’m old here and I’m still trying to decide.” 

You two have been friends since. 

“No, you’re not getting it Ned! I dare you to ask Betty, that is if she’ll still talk to you.” Peter grinned at his friend and laughed when Ned threw a spork at him. Ned and Betty were in their usual weekly dispute, usually something dumb but slightly significant. 

“Are you just mad I have a girlfriend that gets mad at me?” Ned teased back. He did feel like he had the upper hand, being honest he always thought Peter would have all his firsts, well, first. But Ned was collecting the firsts while Peter kept to himself. 

Peter scoffed at the assumption, “No way man, If I was a boyfriend I would never pick a fight. I’d be a good boy and listen.” He hummed and shot his eyes to yours, you were already looking at him. 

“Right, Y/N?” He shot a wink at you and you froze, was that real? Was he actually talking to you? 

Peter Parker is beautiful. You’re not sure when you liked him, actually you think you always have. The second you met him you felt pulled to him, you couldn’t stay away from him. Subconsciously you walked the longer loop around the school to peek at him at his locker, and you always laughed at his jokes, and you made constant eye contact when you weren’t staring at his mouth. 

His brown curls laid over his forehead, you remember last week he was talking about getting it cut, and you frowned at him and said ‘absolutely not, if anything you should grow it longer’, you can’t help but notice it hasn’t been cut yet, and he is looking more tempting by the day. Maybe two more weeks and you could have an excuse to run your hand through it, tell him you noticed it was in his eyes and you were just helping. 

Even MJ knew, you think Ned and Betty have an inkling. When the four of you were together they loved to talk about Peter, except they would only praise him. He has the ultimate wingmen even if he didn’t know it. And speaking of not knowing, he had no clue you were into him. It’s not like you’ve been straightforward but you also didn’t hide it. You always made flirty comments towards him, and he would usually smile shyly and brush it off. 

“How did you think you did on Mr. Tusks test? I think I did fine.” He once asked during a passing period, you made a show of looking him up and down, “Oh trust me, you’re fine.” Peter rolled his eyes and then asked if you had heard about Kayte and Brendon. 

“Can you do me a favor?” Peter asked while you and the rest of the group met at his house for a study session before PSATS, looking over at you from his shoulder at the kitchen table. You stepped closer and grabbed his bicep, “Trust me, I’d do anything for you, Peter.” MJ let out a quiet ‘oooh’ and Peter flushed, he cleared his throat and held up some crumpled paper. “Can you throw these away for me, please?” 

You wrapped your hand around the paper in his and let your fingers rest against his palm for a moment, you looked in his eyes and pouted. “Aw, that’s all?” He looked at MJ for help, she instead looked at you and smirked with a slight nod to her head. You met her with a similar smirk and walked away to the trash can. 

Then that time at the movies you hopped around Ned to steal the spot next to Peter, “Dibs! If anyone is gonna get cuddly with Peter it’s gonna be me.” You pushed Ned’s shoulder to prove your seriousness when his jaw dropped open, he sputtered but then slunk to the seat next to you. Peter joked to ease the tension, “There’s enough of me to go around,” you looked at him and smiled, “but most of you is mine, right?” Peter went to respond but the lights dropped and the trailers started. 

You almost thought he made a move, almost. 

During the movie he lent into your ear, his warm breath sent goosebumps down your spine. “Hey.” You turned your head and almost stopped breathing, his face was right against yours, if he lent up half an inch your lips would meet. You wondered if this was the moment, all the flirting was for something. “Yeah?” You whispered back, you looked between his eyes and mouth, he caught you looking at his lips and watched you lean in a tad closer. “Can I get a sip of your slushie?” 

His grin was highlighted in the blue light of the theater screen. You grumbled and thrust the plastic cup at his chest, “Not how I imagined swapping spit with you in a movie theater, but I guess it will do.” Peter nodded absentmindedly while his attention was on the screen, and you might have maybe, just for a second, thought about punching him in the ribs. 

And right now he was asking you if he would be a good boyfriend. 

“Are you kidding me Parker? You’re the definition of boyfriend material.” You matched the grin he gave you and he shot a HA! At Ned. 

“Told you! And when I finally find a girlfriend I’m gonna be the best boyfriend.” He made a cocky grin at Ned that let him know he won the fight. Your ears were ringing, did he just say? He couldn't have. No way he’s that dumb. 

You slap your palms on the table and narrow your eyes at him, “What do you mean find a girlfriend?” 

“Oh! You know, when I finally have a chick that’s into me.” He shrugged, so casual. Did he think you were just playing around? 

“When you have a chick, into you.” You repeated the words slower and watched him nod his head and take a sip of chocolate milk. 

MJ hid her snort under a cough, you turned to look at her, silently saying ‘is he for real right now?’ and MJ gave a look back that said ‘oh i think he is.’ 

You kissed your teeth, “and tell me Peter, how the fuck would you know when a girl is into you?” 

His eyes widened for a second, “Uh, I dunno. I think if she likes me she’ll make it known.” 

You laughed dryly, “Or she can make it known and you’re just totally oblivious.” 

Peter thought for a moment and hummed, “No, I think I’d know.” 

You looked at MJ with a wide mouth.

“Okay. Fuck this, I’m out.” You grabbed your backpack off the table and stomped out the cafetera doors. 

“Did I say something to make her mad?” Peter missed the look MJ and Ned shared. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter couldn’t help but feel guilty, he didn’t know what he did but he’s almost sure he made you upset. And he would normally never interfere with Spider-Man but he’s the one that saw you tossing pebbles and crushed cans at a brick wall down an alleyway. So he had to make sure you were okay, just doing his civilian duties. 

“Fucking stupid, oblivious, what does he want me to do? Fucking show up at his house naked?” You mumbled to yourself and kicked a cardboard box, sending it into the side of a dumpster. 

You heard something drop behind you, spinning to the sound you were met with the masked vigilante seen across the city. You had never seen him in person, not even a glimpse when you were walking around. You were starting to believe he was a figment of people's imagination.   

You narrowed your eyes, you didn’t know or care why he was there. 

“Fuck off, Spider-Man.” You turned to throw another rock at the wall and watch it bounce off, just like all your attempts with Peter. That frustrating prick. 

“Bad day?” 

He didn’t leave and he just brought a shit storm apun himself. 

You spun to face him again, “You have no idea.” 

“Tell me about it.” Maybe you would slip why you were pissed at lunch. 

You looked him up and down and tapped a finger on your chin, “Do you take hits?” 

“Like punches? I mean I try-” 

You cut him off, “No. I mean if I tell you to beat someone up would you do it?” 

Peter’s eyes widened in the mask, but then collected himself. 

“Maybe, it depends why you want them beaten up.” 

“Because he deserves pain.” You threw another rock. 

“Who’s he?” Peter had a feeling it was himself. 

You groaned and rubbed at your eyes, you paused to think of the story and decided to tell the whole thing to make sense. 

“Are you like a therapist or something?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Like patient doctor confidentiality. I can tell you anything and no one knows?”

Peter thought to himself, he had never viewed himself that way but he sees how some may think of him like that. Just a random guy to dump their shit unto. 

“Sure, yeah. I won’t go screaming from the rooftops about your bad day with ‘he’.” He used air quotes around the ‘he’ and smiled when he made you laugh. 

“Alright, cool.” You nodded and paused after rubbing the bridge of your nose, then finally looking into the white masked eyes of Spider-Man.

“You brought this on yourself. Okay look, I’m new here right? Moved here from Manhattan, and got into this, like, super smart kid school.” You watched the masked face nod. 

“And I met this girl on my first day and she’s super cool and she tells me she’s gonna introduce me to her friends, and I was super excited to make friends, right?” You watched him to make sure he was listening, “And sorry for the next part, if you’re like a thirty year old guy just understand I am a horny teenager and you were once me, okay? Okay.” 

“So I met her friends, Ned and Peter. And let me tell you, Peter? Wow! Look, I’ll level with you. I’ve liked dudes before, maybe even kissed a few, who’s to know?” Peter froze for a moment, did you just hint at what he thinks? 

“But, Peter? I have literally never wanted to hump someone's face until I saw him.” 

Peter coughed then cleared his throat, his cheeks felt on fire. 

He knows you’ve always said things to him, he knows it was flirty but he didn’t realize you were being serious, cause he was him, and you were you. Peter never had that aha moment where he realized you were in fact flirting and did like him like that. He now wants to curl in shame because of the way he’s blown you off for so long, he doesn’t know why he thought you were always playing around with him, especially now. Because you only ever told Peter, you wanted Peter. 

Peter feels really dumb right now watching a girl he never thought he could pull, in distress because he is in fact, not pulling her. 

“I don’t know how to explain it but I felt so pulled to him, I hadn’t known him for twelve seconds and I wanted to know everything about him, you know? And I’ve tried everything, man. I don’t know how much more clear I can get, I mean I flirt with him all the time. Like, all the time. I literally told him I wanted to make out with him at the movies and he was just like… But can I get some of that slushie? I wanted to kill him and then myself.” 

You noticed the wide eyes on the mask but held up a hand to continue. 

“And today! My god I really thought he got it, get this, the fucker,” You exclaimed the fucker. “This fucker looks at me, dead in the eye and says ‘I’d be a good boyfriend right?’ and I was like ‘Oh my god, yes. You are literally perfection, look at you. So handsome, such baby, I will die if I don’t kiss you.’ And he goes, and I cannot make this shit up, ‘when I finally find a girlfriend I’ll be the best boyfriend.’” You mocked his voice, well not Peter’s, but a general man's voice. 

“Oh.” The first response you’ve heard from him yet. 

You laughed bitterly. “Oh, I’m not even at the part that made me fly off the wall.” 

Peter knows what you’re talking about. 

“At this point I just thought he was his normal little dumb self but when he said that? Game over. So I said, ‘how the fuck would you know when a girl is into you?’ just like that too, and he goes,” You paused to laugh again and shake your head, “‘I think if she likes me she’ll make it known.’ How fucking disconnected is he from reality? I wonder what it would be like to be in his head, really. Just a fuckton of open space huh? Anyways, I just told him that maybe she is making it known and he’s just not paying attention and he goes, ‘hmm, nope. I’d think I know.’ I couldn’t take it and just walked out.” 

You finished up your rant, “So, in conclusion. Fuck Peter Parker, but also, I want to fuck Peter Parker. It’s hard being 17.” 

For the first time Spider-Man was speechless. He didn’t know how to navigate this because he wanted to take your side but also didn’t want to throw Peter under the bus. When he noticed you were waiting for a response he let out a ‘Wow.’ 

“Well, wow.” He was still trying to find words. 

“I know right? I told you, you brought this on yourself.” You sat against the brick wall and pulled a quarter from your pocket running it across your knuckles. Spider-Man moved to sit next to you. 

“I know you say you’ve been forward but maybe he thinks you’re joking, or maybe he didn’t see it like that because he thought you wouldn’t like him like that.” 

“Babes, you have no idea how much I like him like that.” 

“Right. I mean, maybe give it another shot, you never know.” He shrugged his shoulders, who knows? Peter may even ask for a date next time you talk. 

“Oh, you think I’m giving up?” You raised an eyebrow at him. “No way, if anything this makes him even more attractive. Who doesn’t like a good chase? I will tell you my next method was just popping up at his place like, you, me, lets fuck, right here, right now.” 

“Chasing is only fun if you catch them in the end. And I doubt this Peter kid would ever give into that method, you’d scare the shit out of him.” You sighed and thought about it. “You’re right, he would respect me too much. It’s gross how much I love that.” You watched the quarter roll across your middle knuckle and held it tightly. 

You leaned a cheek against the hero’s shoulder. 

“Don’t beat up Peter Parker. He’s a sweet boy, just a little unaware.” 

“Although, if he doesn’t wake up to smell the bacon next time we talk I’m sending you a smoke signal and his address and I won’t let you leave until I see blood.” 

Peter let out a big laugh, “Deal.” 

You stood up and brushed off your butt then reached a hand out to help Spider-Man up. 

“Thanks for talking me off the ledge. Here’s a tip.” You tossed the quarter in your hand towards the red glove. 

Peter nodded and gave a two finger salute, “Just doing my job ma'am, I am the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man after all. I’ll look around for you, I hope I get a Peter update soon.” 

You smiled at the hero once more. 

“Me too.”

You watched as he took off and started to walk home, not even twenty minutes later a text came through. 

hey, sorry if i made you upset at lunch today. 

It's fine, I'm sure you’ll make it up to me. 

yeah, i’ll show you how sorry i can be.

And hell if your breath didn’t hitch. Did he just flirt with you? There is no way in God’s green earth did he just send a text like that not knowing how you’d take it. Did he finally wake up and smell the roses? Did the behavior at lunch kick in a thinking cell? 

Either way, you couldn’t wait for school tomorrow.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Walking in the doors you rubbed the palm of your hand over your cold nose, the temperature was slowly reminding you summer was over and the nips of frost and changing leaf colors proved it. You were excited for fall and winter, you would have friends to go to a halloween party with, maybe even get to wear a couples costume with Peter if it worked out for you. You would trickle into thanksgiving and then have a whole season for cookies, movies and snow fights. A part of you couldn’t help but think about Peter's eyes sparkling in the christmas lights. 

Peter’s head darted up at you the second you walked through the door, his teeth nibbling his bottom lip. He wasn’t sure what to say, or if he should say anything. Does he wait for you to say something? Does he walk up and ask you on a date?

Either way you were about to walk past him, you looked preoccupied, in your own world. You were nibbling on your thumb nail, lost in your thoughts about Peter, and the weather, and Peter, and snow, and carving pumpkins with Peter, and the way leaves would crunch under your feet, and then floated to central park and walking hand in hand with Peter, and kissing Peter under a tree, or maybe he’d take you to rockefeller plaza and ask you to be his girlfriend there, and you just know in your heart Peter would always give you extra whipped cream on your hot chocolate. 

You were so lost in thinking about Peter you didn’t see Peter. 

Not until he jumped in front of you. 

“Hey!” He smiled and it made your eyes go hazy. 

“Peter.” You let out dreamily, still stuck in daydreams where he was yours.

“Whatcha thinking about?” His grin gave away he knew, but you know he didn’t.

“Would you give me extra whipped cream on hot chocolate?” 

“Oh yeah. I’d even throw in some mini marshmallows and a cinnamon stick. Or do you like peppermint more?” 

You fawned at his response, he was so gentle it warmed you. 

“Would you carve pumpkins with me?” You looked at his locker. 

“Why not? Seems fun.” He tapped his fist against your shoulder.

“I would need your help, cause I’m good at getting the guts out but the actual carving part hurts my hand because I have to use so much force. So I could draw a design and you could cut it for me, cause you're way stronger than me.” 

“Why are you good at getting the guts out?” He poked a finger at your elbow to get your attention back on his face. 

You bit your bottom lip and changed topics. 

“Have you ever walked through central park?” 

I mean, if Peter thinks about it he’s spent a fair amount of time there, but he’s not roaming around. He’s swinging around or stopping crime or running after someone, so he guesses not. He’s never walked through the park and enjoyed it, he thinks he did it a few times as a kid but he can’t remember the last time he went. 

“As a kid, I haven’t been in a while.” 

“I think it would be really pretty to walk through it when the leaves all change.” 

“I love the feeling of the leaves crunching under my feet.” 

“Me too! As a kid I used to build leaf forts and just roll around for hours.” You smiled brightly at the shared feeling. 

“We could go sometime, just say when. We could even get the group together.” He winked playfully but dropped the grin when he saw the disappointment flash in your eyes when he added the friends part. You didn’t want a group trip, you wanted a Peter trip. 

“Or it could be just a you and me thing, I think I could use some one on one time with you.” Peter retracted his earlier statement. Your eyes lit up at his suggestion, “really? You do?” 

“Yeah, of course. I love talking to you.” He smiled and watched you bite your bottom lip as you stared at his. 

“Anything fun happen yesterday? I didn’t see you after lunch.” Was he possibly hinting at you talking about him to him? Yes. 

“Uh,” You trailed and thought about telling him, scared if you said too much he’d ask details. 

“You know, I started to believe Spider-Man was a mass hallucination, turns out he’s a real guy. Kinda cool.” 

Peter raised his eyebrows, “You suddenly came to that belief yesterday?” 

“Well I mean, you know. He was like, there. And was like, hey.” You gave a general response and shrugged your shoulders. 

“He was just there and said hey?” He slowly repeated the words back. 

“Hey! He promised he wouldn’t talk about what we discussed and I will promise the same. We had a nice conversation about someone close to me and he gave me a little pep talk.” You defended your stance. 

“Like patient doctor confidentiality?” He was having a little fun here. 

“Exactly! It was true alleyway therapy. I even gave him a quarter for his troubles.” You crossed your arms and grinned, it was funny how good you felt after talking to him yesterday. Maybe exploding emotions on a third party stranger was good. 

“Sounds like you have a crush on Spidey.” 

You narrowed your eyes at him, “If he was here right now, and heard that coming from your mouth? He would have a fucking field day, I promise you that.” 

Peter raised his eyebrows in coyness. 

“From me? Sounds like he knows something, was I maybe the close person you had a conversation about?” 

Your cheeks felt warm, you were on the spot. You always hinted at your crush on Peter but you were kind of pussy to outright say it so you hoped he would catch on and ask you out. But now you didn’t know how to react, you had said too much and backed yourself into a corner. 

You opened your mouth to play off a response when the bell for first period rang out, you let out a breath of relief and smiled at Peter. 

“Saved by the bell.” 

--------------------------------------------------------------------

You were begging Spider-Man was out, looking around where he had dropped down yesterday. 

Things have progressed with Peter and you promised him an update, it was just about keeping him in the loop. It had nothing to do with getting to fantasize and romanticize you and Peter’s interactions. 

Jumping in excitement you saw him standing on the corner of the same building you were hiding behind yesterday, hands on his hips with his head turned the opposite way. 

“Spider-Man!” You whisper shouted. 

“Hey! Spidey!” You raised your tone some. 

“Yo! Spider-boy!” You picked up a pebble and threw it up the building. 

Getting his attention the hero looked behind him then pointed at himself with a thumb, “me?” You rolled your eyes, “yes, you. C’mere.” Watching him jump down and land in a squatted pose you couldn’t help but think about how fucked up your ankles would’ve been if you tried it. 

“Peter update, bitch. I don’t have another quarter on me, so this will have to be on the house.” 

“I kept it.” He handed it back to you and you thought about how if Peter did that you would be putty in your shoes. 

“I think he was flirting with me. I think. I don’t know, he’s so coy. I love him.” You sighed and held a hand to your heart. 

“And I am so sadistic, I’m using him as a pawn in my sick games. I’m asking him questions that I’ve already answered in my head about him and when he gives me a response it’s better than I imagined.” 

“Maybe he was flirting, or trying. Something tells me you make him nervous.” 

“Am I intimidating? I don’t want him scared of me, I want to mash my parts with his.” You pouted and thought if you were making him uncomfortable. 

“First, gross.” (Not really, he also wants to mash parts.) 

“Second, I don’t think you’re intimidating. I just think you are much more forward than him.” 

“Oh no. Is that a problem? Do I keep doing what I am, or should I let him do this? Am I over stepping? I’ve never had a boyfriend, is he supposed to pursue me? Have I done everything backwards? Oh god.” You covered your face with your hands and missed Peter's eyes growing wide and his panicked arm movements. 

“No, no, no, no. You’re fine, you’re good. It’s good. You can make the first move, totally okay. I just meant you’re expecting him to ask you out any second and I think you need to make it more noticeable rather than joking.” 

“Ew! Gross! I will not walk up to that man and tell him I wanna smooch.” 

“Oh, C’mon! You basically already have!” 

“Nope. Not happening. You’ve helped me make up my mind, I will wait for Peter Parker to make the next move.” You tossed the quarter back to him, “Don’t worry. You’ll see me again.” 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Woah, wait.” MJ stopped in her tracks and spoke her next words carefully. 

“You told Spider-Man about your crush on Peter?” Her voice was smooth and quick, MJ almost felt panicked for you, because you didn’t know what you just did. 

“Yeah?” You didn’t get the big deal, not like Spider-Man knew who Peter was anyways. 

“What did he say?” MJ was pulling at the thread.

“That I should be more clear, or less intimidating, or something.” 

“He said you were intimidating?” MJ narrowed her eyes. 

“Well kind of, when I said that he kind of back tracked but-” 

MJ cut you off when he locked eyes with Peter coming down the hall towards you, he tilted his head in question, he knew that look and he wasn’t sure why he deserved it. She grabbed Peter’s forearm and tugged him next to her, your eyes went wide. You didn’t need to understand why MJ decided to bring Peter into this conversation, you just needed to end it. 

“Peter, do you think Y/N is intimidating?”  

His eyes saw your subtle head shake at her, an unvocal way of telling her to shut the fuck up. 

“Uh, no. Not at all. Why?” 

MJ waited for you to talk but you stayed silent, you would definitely spill if you tried to navigate the conversation. 

“Because, the Queens nightly hero thinks she is.” Her tone was bitter, who knew MJ was this defensive over you. 

“He said I was too forward, MJ. Drop it.” You pleaded to get out of this alive. 

“Too forward, imagine that, Peter. Imagine confiding in someone about a crush and they say you’re too forward.” 

You felt your knees hit your ankles, Peter would connect the dots. You told him you had a conversation and MJ just admitted it was about a crush. 

You started to dryly laugh, not allowing Peter a chance to answer that. 

“Not a crush! Nope! Don’t know where you got that theory.” You darted your eyes around looking for an escape. 

“No?” Peter questioned you. 

“You know MJ, she lives in her own world. Never said anything about having a crush on someone, definitely not you.” 

Peter had to play into this, your turn to squirm. 

“Who said I thought you had a crush on me?” 

Your heart couldn’t beat any louder than it was at the moment. 

“No one did.” You flashed a nervous smile. 

“No, I think you just did.” 

You breathed heavily out your nose and looked harshly at MJ like ‘wtf? Why did you do this?’ 

“I just didn’t want you to think I have a crush on you.” 

Peter pouted, “Why not? I think it would be cute.” 

It was your turn to sputter. 

“Cute? It would be cute? Cute how? Cute, that's adorable or cute, let's date?” 

You didn’t miss MJ’s look of ‘wow. Subtle much?’ 

“Depends. Do you have a crush on me?” 

“Do you think I have a crush on you?” 

Peter hummed and pretended to think. 

“Sometimes.” He shrugged his shoulders. 

“Only sometimes?” 

“I’m confused. Do you want me to think you have a crush on me or not?” 

MJ raised her hands and slowly started to back away. 

“Depends. How would you react?” You cautioned. 

“Probably how you want me to react.” 

“And how do I want you to react?” 

Peter smiled and leaned in close, you held your breath for a moment. Was he about to kiss you? Is that how you want him to react? Yes. 

“You tell me.” 

Then he straightened himself and winked as he walked away. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter just had to wait for an opening, not that you would take long to give him one. You couldn’t keep it in, it was second nature at this point.

If there was any way he could ask you out casually then you needed to make it a bit clear, as much as you said you wanted it he couldn’t imagine the flip of “he doesn’t notice anything” to “hey, wanna go out?” 

 Peter was trying to set himself up for one of your comments and you tried your best to keep a poker face but when he said that? Game over. 

“I think I have a shot, she totally likes me.” 

Was he talking about you? He better be, because if you were walking into his house for the regular Friday movie night and he was talking about another girl you would actually lose it. You had just got there, still waiting for MJ and Ned to show up when he greeted you with his words. 

“Who likes you?” 

“Kendra! During math she was holding up her highlighters trying to match one to my shirt. It’s pretty obvious right?” 

“No.” 

“No?” 

“No. You can’t be serious.” 

“I am! I told you if someone liked me they would make it obvious, and I’m pretty sure she did.” 

“Oh fuck you Peter! You’re the actual worst, I sit here all fucking day saying things to you, about literally wanting to be all over you and a girl with a fucking highlighter collection is booted to top of the list?” 

“I mean, what am I? Chopped liver? I have been pining after you for months, and all it took was a highlighter? Do you know I wear that green sweater all the time because you said you liked it once, or that I follow you around like a puppy? How about when I flirt with you, or do you even know I’m flirting with you?” 

Peter had a shit eating grin that made you even more upset. 

“Why are you so happy right now, you’re really pissing me off.” 

Peter stalked towards you until you were backed up into the wall, with nowhere to go you felt his chest brush yours, his arms caging you against the wall, your head between both of his hands. 

Save for the position, you were excited. This was going to be a new daydream scenario, he had you pinned to the wall. The only way out was through him. 

He leant in close, if you just pushed yourself up you could have his lips on yours. 

“Because, you finally admitted it.” 

You narrowed your gaze at him. 

“What is that supp-” 

He cut you off. 

With his mouth. 

On yours. 

No matter how many times you dreamed about this exact moment nothing could match the real thing. His lips were soft, his hand cupped your jaw to bring you closer to him. His body leaned in so he was flush against yours, you felt every curve and divot of him blend into yours. You grabbed at the waist of his shirt, begging for him not to leave his position of being on your mouth. 

Instead he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, the feather touch of his tongue on your lower lip sent your head into a spiral, the boy you had been obsessing and pining over the past few months was moving with your movements, you gasped into his mouth and he squeezed a hip with his hand and you in turn pressed your hips into his. 

He pulled away and placed a kiss to your jaw, then neck. 

“Was that the reaction you wanted?” 

Your eyes stayed closed but you nodded, scared if you opened them the illusion would disappear. 

“I kissed you with my heart and soul baby girl, can’t a guy get a response?” 

You whimpered at the pet name. 

Then a knock at the door, the curtain dropped. The other friends were here and it would go back to pretend this didn’t happen for a few hours. The front door was being opened from the outside, you had your head turned to the right to watch it open. Peter still had you pressed into the wall, he placed an arm out to hold the door shut. 

“I’m not done yet.” 

He leant in for another one, and another. 

And another. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I was beginning to think you forgot about me.” 

You did promise Spider-Man an update, but it’s been a busy few months. Christmas was just around the corner and Peter and you have been busy. Between dates and seasonal activities you haven’t had a moment to track down the hero and catch him up to date. 

First it was Halloween and you did get your couples costume. (and he helped you carve your pumpkin.)

 Then it was Thanksgiving. (and he walked through central park with you.)

And recently you’ve both been busy with present shopping and baking. (and he gives you hot chocolate with extra, extra whipped cream.)

 “I know, I’m sorry. I’ve been too busy being a girlfriend.” 

“Girlfriend?” 

You squealed. “Yes! He totally set me up and I was all like, ‘How do you not know I like you?’ and BAM! He just started kissing me, I was seeing fucking stars.” 

“Peter Parker finally smelled the bacon, huh?” 

“Yeah. He’s really awesome. I know we were friends before but it’s gotten so much better now he’s my boyfriend, I don’t even know how to describe it. I think it’s because everything I feel for him is reciprocated times ten by him.” 

“I think it’s because you love him.” 

“Or because we’re mashing parts.” 

You laughed at his reaction. 

“Gross.” (Not gross. He fucking loves mashing parts.)

“But yeah, I think it’s mostly because we love each other.” 

“I’m happy for you, I’m glad I can stop looking for smoke signals now.” 

You grinned at the hero and had to fight back the urge for a hug. 

“Thanks, if it makes you feel better if I knew who you were under the mask I’d buy you dinner.” 

Sirens blaring broke the reunion. 

“It’s alright. I have a feeling you’ll know soon.” 

“Hm, sure. Have a goodnight, Spidey. I’ll see you around.” 

“You too, Y/N.” 

Then he swung off, it left a grin on your face. 

Until. 

‘How did he know my name?’ 

[koimethehorizon]

Adventure Time and Fionna and Cake Theory: The Victimhood of Simon + How the Series Might End

Prerequisite Watching for this Theory:

Adventure Time: Temple of Mars, Betty, Come Along With Me, Broke His Crown, I Remember You, Holly Jolly Secrets Part II

Gonna start this loaded theory with a bit of a hot take. I’ve never liked how Simon and Betty’s stories concluded in Come Along With Me.

For Simon, I’ve always had trouble considering Simon and the Ice King as the same person. Holly Jolly Secrets and I Remember You, the pinnacle of depicting the dichotomy of the two characters is built on us seeing Simon as suffering irreversible memory loss and how his loved ones can grow to accept that. The context is most apt when viewed as a metaphor for dementia, Alzheimer’s, or simply old age.

The scenes in which Ice King reacts so superfluously to characters desperately wishing for his old self to return are striking because of the cruel finality of his condition. Alternatively, the ones in which his loved ones hang around with him despite his condition are sweet in their own right.

One of my favorite Ice King scenes is in Broke His Crown where Marceline invites her girlfriend to meet her surrogate father.

Bubblegum: What's this?

Ice King: It's a present, to bribe you for coming over!

Marceline: You don't have to bribe us silly, we're here because we WANT to hang out with you.

Ice King: No one has ever said that to me before.

*snatches present*

Ice King: You didn't say no takebacks.

There was a real poignancy to depicting an old man with memory-loss slowly having people come to accept him and realize that he’s still a swell guy to hang around. It may be depressing to see this good person who was once so unconditionally caring into a buffoon who could forget your name so easily and turn on you in the flip of a coin.

But even he deserved love from others. And in time, as a result of that love, he did improve.

Which is why, even in Fionna and Cake, I find myself still disturbed seeing Simon in his normal state and Ice King completely erased from Ooo. It kills me that Betty and in extension, the show itself could not accept Ice King as he was and felt that his best course was to undo it all.

All of his experiences for 1000+ years all of a sudden no longer matter, and the acceptance of his peers no longer mattered as well. He's just back to who he used to be in a world where everything he's known is gone.

Happily ever after

Even worse, however, is remembering the wish that allowed Simon to be cured. The person who sacrificed her individuality to get that good person back, because she couldn’t accept reality as it was.

And I’m going to put a second hot take. A spicy one. Simon needs to take the fault in Betty's fate and Fionna and Cake (the show not the characters) seems aware of this.

Throughout Adventure Time, Simon Petrikov was never developed as a character. As far as the audience and the characters within Adventure Time knew, the only traits about Simon that mattered were: that he was intelligent, he was a kind man, and he loved Betty.

This wouldn’t really be a compelling character on its own, but when juxtaposed with the Ice King it’s a tragedy that he lost these traits. The compelling part of Simon was his victimhood to the ice crown and not really him as a person.

It’s why Obsidian’s version of Simon feels somewhat empty, he’s back to his intelligent, kind self but there’s no real hints to how he’s mentally adjusting other than that brief glimpse in Ice King’s robes again.

And he looks really weird in this special too. Color me surprised when Simon Petrikov reads out the problems I've had for years about his ending while also making Simon into his own person. In many ways it just completely redos what we see of him in Obsidian.

He's still a kind man but even he can't handle being so maladjusted to a world so beyond his time. He's still intelligent but his passions aren't reciprocated, and that seems to have always been the case even in the past. Rather than a guy who doesn't take shit from guys like Marceline's ex or a first responder to his daughter's problems, he's a normal guy unable to handle the threats of Ooo's world even after 12 years of living in it. Rather than singing to large communities in bliss, he's a lonely alcoholic who can't even relate to his fellow humans anymore. He loves his adopted daughter but there are even some days he can't muster the courage to be honest with her. And most importantly, he doesn't seem to know how to live beyond his curse or his loneliness.

His mutual obsession with Betty is the only character trait of his that's ever had some distinct flaw and with this new show, the writers must have finally found a way to tackle the subject further. Betty is ultimately a greater victim than Simon. She ends up in a far worse fate than Simon has ever been in. Perhaps more disturbingly, she willingly chose to strip herself of her individuality.

Fionna and Cake brings a contradiction to light about Simon and Betty’s seemingly perfect relationship. Simon and Betty's love is real and they do make each other happy. But there does exist a co-dependency that has worsened throughout the series as a result of their insecurity of letting a bad memory conclude their relationship. Betty's patterns are pretty clear throughout her tenure as Magic Woman but not too much with Simon. Not until now.

In Jerry, Simon stops Betty from pursuing her dreams because he didn’t want her goodbye to be his last memory with her.

In Betty, Simon rewrites history and inadvertently summons her to Ooo because he didn’t want Betty’s look of contempt to be his last memory of her.

And through all of Fionna and Cake, Simon has turned into a suicidal man willing to resummon GOLBetty regardless of the reasons she can’t see him again. All because he didn’t want her sacrifice to be his last memory of her. Despite the fact that Betty’s final wish was to keep Simon safe.

There's also this uneven power dynamic between the two. Simon was far more accomplished as a professor with PhDs even if no one took him seriously. Betty was just a student offering some help, knowing she wouldn't take any credit for helping.

I’ll preface that Betty is a consenting adult in the relationship and made many self-determined rash choices that Simon would never approve of with full context. We’ve enough scenes to show that Simon actively refuses Betty’s help if it means endangering her.

However, Simon’s perception of Betty and his own inadequacy did influence her personality for the worse. Fionna questions Simon on two occasions about how strange it was for “someone she just met to drop everything to go with you”. Even within the flashbacks Betty verbally describes her internal conflict between her individuality vs. her infatuation with Simon and the guy never picks up on it.

Whether he’s aware of it or not, Simon always ends up becoming the center of attention during Betty’s greatest life-changing events because he’s always suffering in some way. And sadly in-character, Betty always prioritizes him first because of how sorry she feels for him.

Simon: Just hold my hand to your face, this will be my… last sensation.

Betty: Don’t be a wimp, Simon!

I don’t want to be too hard on Simon, his suffering is cosmologically depressing. An undeniable tragedy that no one deserves to be alone on. It would be unfair to say he’s being dramatic about something most if not any human would ever go through. He’s not a leech for desiring help, especially from his significant other.

But I do think it’s important to point out that he does have a major flaw in not reflecting on the consequences of Betty’s choices.

Fionna: Damn, that’s romantic. So, you got on the bus with her?

Simon: Yup. Uh what? No. No. Why would I-

This is the reason this post exists. This is the show explicitly telling us that Simon has never really thought about what Betty lost because he thinks his love was greater than the passion Betty once had.

Let's go back to Betty once again for what is honestly the most justifiable takedown you could make of Simon's character prior to the miniseries.

As stated earlier, Simon opens a portal to ask for Betty's forgiveness with a few seconds on the clock. And in that time, he essentially just unloads a giant drama bomb, trauma dump of his suffering leading Betty to ask what she can even do without him. And if the plan went as it was, Simon would've just left her a hundred questions that she'd never have answered for the rest of her life.

Simon: Just know that I love you and I forgive you for leaving me. Author's Note: I dunno, isn't there something a bit off about how he worded this?

Now Simon didn't ask for Betty to jump into the portal, but he certainly was asking for it subconsciously. How else would he have expected a person who loves him dearly to act after this?

Taking any measures necessary and finding a way back together obviously. That's what he's doing too!

And reiterating again, this is the reason why Betty goes on her ego-suicidal quest. This is Simon's greatest mistake, his greatest moral failing as a person and he doesn't seem aware of this.

He’s not wrong that Betty lived happily with him. In spite of losing her dreams, Betty and Simon did love each other unconditionally. But he’s missing the bigger picture about how he could’ve been self-centered in deciding Betty’s fate for himself.

And maybe to stretch somewhat, I think even the quest to become Ice King again is somewhat motivated by his inability to live as anything more than a victim. Some of it is because the citizens of Ooo were being a bit inconsiderate about how much they liked Ice King yes, but Simon should be perfectly aware that Marceline, Betty, and now Fionna would be extremely concerned about him for doing this. Yet, he doesn’t really consider their feelings too much on the matter. He’s too used to the suffering.

Please have one scene with Marceline, I'd be sad if we don't get to see at least one.

This leads me to how I believe Fionna and Cake may rewrite Simon’s ending.

The key is in the episode Temple of Mars.

Upon rewatching the episode, I’m convinced that the Adventure Time cast had a greater plan with the Betty and Simon arc that just never came to be due to production constraints. A lot of Betty’s history and the deconstruction of her relationship with Simon in Jerry are surprisingly details that have already been told.

I thought it was an animation error that Betty’s glasses were different in Jerry but it turns out the continuity director is just that good.

The trip in six months, Simon stopping her, and the realization that Simon superseded her identity. Seeking independence from Simon is the lesson that Normal Man was trying failed to teach her.

Betty: I’ve spent so much time dedicated on Simon that I’m not even sure if there’s any “me” left anymore.

But the most telling detail is how Betty passes Normal Man’s test.

Finn: Even if you are a lost cause, she is not!

Betty: No, Finn’s right. You’ll thank me for this later past Betty.

In an alternate pocket reality, she changes her trip to the day before, preventing Simon from stopping her. And I think Simon will have to change fate once again to do the same.

If Simon comes to realize that he was the one who set Betty to her terrible fate, that all this time his rose-colored lens of their relationship had been detrimental then he could give her identity back. But it can’t be as simple as changing the moment Betty turns into GOLB or Magic Woman or even bringing her through the portal in Betty.

He needs to let Betty go on the bus. Alone.

It’s the only way for Betty to have her life back. If not for his Betty, maybe at least to save one in the multiverse doomed to the same fate.

They both need to cherish their time on the Enchiridion trip back when it wasn’t too late for Betty to go on the trip. Back when they were both equals and not tied to Simon’s needs.

Jerry is absolutely setting up something big with Simon and Betty’s relationship for next week and now that we’re going to the GOLB dimension, we’ll see how he remembers these moments again.

Personally, as someone who has been skeptical about Simon's peace for years, Fionna and Cake's second episode was like a sigh of relief. Simon hasn't found his ending yet, and my hope is that this epilogue will help me see the man happy without having to relive Betty's sacrifice for the rest of his life. Just like the rest of Adventure Time, it'll have to end with him cherishing the time he had with Betty regardless of the inevitability of losing that relationship.

PS. Isn’t quite strange that at one point in time, Simon sought after magic objects that ostracized him from the normal world and now, he lives in a house full of 1980s-1990s objects that ostracized him from the magical world? Maybe he was never really satisfied with where he was in the present.

PSS. I really wanted to write something on Fionna for the Ep 3-6 releases, and I still have the idea, but I couldn’t make it coherent due to how much my brain overthinks everything to the point of cognitive collapse. If there’s enough interest, I’ll go back to write it again.

[somepsychopomp]

Winter's Night

AKA frosty old man yaoi

I've been thinking a LOT about the newest Fionna and Cake episodes... i'm not sorry

AU where the Candy Queen never shows up and the F&C gang hang out in the winter kingdom for a while longer.

Excerpt:

He didn't know why, but Simon approached his double as he played away on the piano. Then again, in the Winter King's world, wasn't he the double?

"Yes?" the King asked, not even turning around. Simon paused, his bare feet seemingly stuck upon the frozen floor.

"I..." Simon came to the terrible realization that he didn't know what to say. Or why he'd even come here, following the other Simon's music, "I couldn't sleep."

+++

It'd been a day since they arrived in the Winter King's world. Or two now, given that it was the very early hours of a new day. The sky outside the vast halls of the castle were dark and misty, the moon tucked away in a blanket of pale clouds.

Simon let his fingertips glide over the chilly windows, the pads of his fingers catching on not even the slightest bump or rough patch of ice. Everything in the castle, everything in the entire kingdom, was so perfect.

And this left him restless. More so than the strange scarab man that'd been following them, who was still thankfully trapped in a chunk of ice. If the Winter King's estimates were correct, the duplicate crown would be completed within just seven days of the process beginning. And then Simon would be pulled back into a dizzying, eternal labyrinth of madness.

Not eternal, he reminded himself. He promised to show you how to tame it.

To tame the crown. Simon had tried so many times to do just that only to fail in his own world. Even with the proof right before his eyes, he didn't know how in God's name he was ever going to become like the other Simon.

Which was why he was here, being chased through the silent halls by his thoughts. Somewhere in the haze of memories that belonged to the Ice King, Simon remembered being restless. With all that magic, the Ice King was far more energetic than he ever was. And maybe it'd rubbed off on him.

As he turned a corner, Simon paused at what he thought was the sound of wind. Or maybe not wind, but a whistle? No, wrong again.

it was the high notes of a piano coming from far away.

Finding himself no longer entrenched in his thoughts, Simon made his way toward the sound, unsurprised to find his doppelgänger tapping away at a cerulean piano.

The Winter King was out of the suit he wore during the day, instead dressed in loose robes in brilliant hues of pale white and sapphire. Seems like Simon wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep.

He lingered in the entryway to the throne room. The other had his back to Simon, playing a soft but cheerful tune. He didn't yet know he had an audience and was instead playing a concert for himself. Exhaling, Simon closed his eyes and searched for anything familiar in the Winter King's music: a scrap from one of the songs he and Marceline used to make up when she was little, the melody to the Cheers opening, those old Broadway tunes Betty used to hum while she read.

Nothing. He opened his eyes.

He didn't know why, but Simon approached his double as he played away on the piano. Then again, in the Winter King's world, wasn't he the double?

"Yes?" the King asked, not even turning around. Simon paused, his bare feet seemingly stuck upon the frozen floor. 

"I..." Simon came to the terrible realization that he didn't know what to say. Or why he'd even come here, following the other Simon's music, "I couldn't sleep."

Before he could apologize and leave, WK, as Fionna had taken to calling him, turned and smiled over his shoulder. He sat to one side of the piano bench, a clear invitation. Feeling as if he couldn't excuse himself at this point, Simon took the offer and sat beside him.

"Oh, dear," the Winter King said, looking down, "Your poor feet!"

"Huh?" Simon followed his gaze. Yes, his feet were looking a bit discolored. They'd taken on an ashen hue and as he flexed his toes, Simon was a bit surprised to find them quite numb.

"What happened to your complimentary slippers?" Winter King asked. He clapped his hands and those two girls, the Ice Scouts, came out of nowhere with a fresh set of plush, white slippers. Simon could hardly utter thanks before they jet off to leave them alone.

Nevertheless, he slipped them on. He, along with the others, had been given very large guest rooms in the castle well stocked with warm, winter clothes. But when Simon climbed out of bed, sick with his thoughts, he'd taken a white robe and nothing more.

He fought the urge to laugh at himself. "Truth be told, I sometimes forget that the cold can hurt me."

He spoke as if this were still a recent development. But the last ten or so years as Simon were nothing compared to the thousand spent as Ice King.

A hand fell upon his shoulder. The other Simon at least didn't stare at him with pity. Just that sort of self-assured confidence that was, admittedly, entirely earned. 

“Well, not to fret! Soon you won’t have to worry a thing about the cold.”

The Winter King laughed at his own words, his hand becoming a firm, reassuring touch on Simon’s shoulder. 

Kingly, his mind supplied, Yes, that was the only way to describe this exact blend of pride and poise. Simon suppressed the sudden shiver that tickled his spine. 

“Tell me, do you play?” Winter King asked, gesturing to the piano. 

“Oh, I… do.” Simon said. He’d let his musical interests fall to the wayside in recent years, but yes. 

Winter King sat up straighter as he clapped his hands. “Then how about a duet?” 

And who was Simon to deny his kindly host?

He rolled his shoulders and began a slow song. The keys were a little lighter than he’d expected, the sound a bit shaper, making his first few notes louder than he would have liked. But neither said anything as his playing even out.

And soon a second set of hands joined him on the keys.

“It’s been a while since I’ve had a partner,” Winter King said, taking Simon’s hesitant song and breathing some more life into it. His fingers danced across the piano with far more confidence, taking what Simon started and making it much more his own. 

It was a beautiful song though, as was everything the Winter King touched. And it far out paced Simon’s rusty skills. He paused once he felt that he could no longer keep up. 

“You play very well,” he said, smiling politely. Hands hovering over the keys. 

Winter King beamed. “And you simply flatter me.”

He tapped Simon on the nose, making him blink in surprise. The Winter King edged closer, shrinking the space between them until their knees bumped and their thighs touched. Simon moved on instinct to give them both more space but found himself already at the edge of the bench. 

Winter King studied him with that ever-cheerful expression. “You seem tense, my Simon.”

“Ah, well…” he adjusted his glasses. “A lot on my mind, I suppose.”

Without missing a beat, “And if I could help with that as well?”

Simon blinked and without warning, found them so very close together. The Winter King was leaning over him, making use of his superior height to bear upon him with an eager smile. But it was just so sudden, so much that it left him reeling. 

“I’m terribly sorry,” Simon said, standing, “But you’ve already done so much for me, for us, that–”

A hand reached out and grabbed his wrist. Simon did finally shiver, a little jolt going up his arm. 

Winter King rose, still holding Simon’s wrist. At his full height, he was the picture of grace, yet the hairs on the back of Simon’s neck stood on end. Winter King took Simon’s wrist in both hands, raising it, and…

And pressed a kiss to the back of his hand. 

His breath caught in his throat. Even the Winter King’s lips were as cold as ice. 

A stray memory resurfaced in his mind, of something Cake said when they first arrived. 

“Kiss each other!”

Which he would’ve brushed off as nonsense if it weren’t for what the Winter King said in response. 

“Don’t think it hasn’t occurred to me.”

But the inhabitants of Ooo, of most variants of Ooo, were all just a bit silly and strange, weren't they? Simon thought that surely the Winter King meant nothing by it.

Until now. 

“It’s been quite a long while…” Winter King began, “Since I’ve had a partner.”

He met Simon’s gaze with unflinching sincerity.

Meanwhile, Simon’s brain was being tossed back and forth between denial and shock. And perhaps a third emotion which he couldn’t yet describe. 

He cleared his throat and tried to find his voice. Simon said, “N-now look at who’s flattering who.”

But his meek attempt at humor fell flat. Winter King acted as if he hadn’t even heard it, still holding Simon’s hand. He even wrapped an arm around Simon’s waist, palm pressed against the small of his back. Despite his night clothes and the robe, he still faintly felt that icy touch. 

The Winter King said, “My Simon, tell me. How long have you felt so lonely?”

And he shuddered at that. It wasn’t as if he’d disclosed his own sour past to the Winter King. At least, not in full detail. He hadn’t brought up his sad life as a living relic on display, or the use of magic creatures as batteries for his spells. 

Or just how empty the world felt. How empty he felt. 

“How did you-”

“I can see it plainly,” Winter King said, “I can see it on your face. I see it because I once felt it myself, before I built this wonderful world of mine.”

Again, the space between them was slowly closing. Simon’s body was still ringed by the arm keeping him in place. 

Winter King asked softly, “Who better to be at your side than I? And you at mine? Why don’t I assuage that ache you feel?”

And Simon could have said a million things in response. 

You don’t want me, I’m just an old man. 

I don't feel the same way. 

But Betty–

I can’t. 

Don’t. 

No. 

Please…

Simon said not a word as another frigid hand took his chin and tilted his head back. He merely shut his eyes and let the breath be stolen from his lungs. The Winter King smelled of pine and frost.

He tried not to shiver. And he also tried not to think of Betty. 

That was rather easy. Betty had been human and warm. 

And everything about the Winter King was cold. Cold, but clean and polished and beautiful. Not only that, but willing and wanting. 

When the Winter King pulled away, lips parted and eyes partly lidded, he hummed in delight and seemed not the least bit interested in stopping. His cheerful demeanor was gone now, his hold on Simon’s waist growing tighter. 

And Simon finally identified that third emotion he felt, a kind of fearful longing. In his world, he had grown to hate snow and ice, even rejecting it in his drinks. But he couldn’t deny how familiar it was. 

And try as he might, he couldn’t run from how a part of him still ached for it. 

So he relented, leaning into Winter King’s touch with silent acceptance. 

He said nothing and put up no resistance as the Winter King pressed him against the piano, a wave of discordant notes filling the throne room as he leaned his body into Simon’s and held him and felt him and took from him. 

The cold, once again, was such a great and terrible thing.

[edsheeranong]

Sweet Pea x Fem OC

Pt. 2

archie andrews twin sister, delilah, is fed up with him being overprotective. so when a cute serpent offers her an opportunity, she can't turn it down

Delilah hung onto him for dear life, terrified as they raced through the streets of riverdale. when they finally arrived at pops, delilah didn't think she had it in her to step off the bike. he pried her hands off him and helped her off. with her whole body trembling in fear she couldn't get the helmet strap undone. he once again helped her and took it off her head.

"i'm never doing that again," she said, flattening out her hair. he fixed a piece of her hair and gestured for her to follow him.

they walked through the doors and delilah surveyed the room for archie. he wasn't there.

"i'm gonna go wash my hands," she said excused herself. when she came back out, she came face to face with archie, veronica, jughead, and betty.

"hey girl," veronica said. "we were just about to sit down, do you wanna join us?"

"oh, no thanks V. i'm here with someone," delilah explained. "thank you for the offer though."

"o la la, does delilah andrews finally have a boy?" veronica asked.

"no," archie shot in. "no she does not."

"just between us girls," she whispered to veronica and betty. "kinda."

the girls all squealed at her admission.

"i don't wanna move to fast, and put labels on it, but i really like him," she lied through her teeth.

"well we won't keep you any longer," betty winked at her and started walking toward a booth.

"who?" archie demanded.

"none of your business," she walked away from him and towards sweet pea who was seated at the counter. when she took the seat next to him, archie sprinted across the room to them.

he ripped sweet pea out of his seat and they started yelling.

"what the fuck are you doing?" archie said.

"i'm here on a date," sweet pea responded.

"get away from my sister," archie shoved him and sweet pea shoved him back.

"you're being ridiculous," delilah said, stepping in front of sweet pea right as archie tried to push him again. she lost her balance and fell back into sweet pea hard. he caught her and rested his hand on her hip.

"don't touch her," archie said.

"i think i'll do what i want."

archie lunged at sweet pea but jughead held him back.

"sit down," veronica demanded. "leave her alone, archie."

"this isn't over," archie threatened before walking back to a booth.

sweet pea turned her around and leaned her back against the counter.

"not so bad, right?" he whispered. she shrugged lightly and he pulled her in for a hug. "is he watching?"

"mhm," delilah hummed into his chest. after a few seconds he pulled away slightly, their hips still pressed together. he looked at her carefully before raising his hand to her chin and gently kissing her.

"why him?" archie sat at his booth, fuming as he watched his sister.

"he's not without charm, archiekins," veronica said. "why are you so opposed to her dating anyway?"

"every boy in this town is an asshole," archie said.

"you live in this town," betty pointed out.

"i know."

"you're mainly upset because he's a serpent," jughead scoffed.

"yeah, jug. and he tried to hurt me. he showed up at my house and tried to fight me," archie complained. "why does he like her anyway? he hates northsiders."

"well, for starters, delilah is drop dead gorgeous. like even i've had thoughts about her," veronica admitted, resulting in a disgusted look from archie. "but, also, she's kind. she doesn't judge the southsiders, at least not outwardly."

"i think it's sweet," betty said.

"how? how is that sweet?" archie asked, slamming his fork down.

"he's willing to fight for her. he must know she doesn't date because you don't let her. just be happy for her, arch," betty explained.

"it just doesn't feel right," archie shook his head. "i can't shake the feeling he's using her to get back at me."

"not all serpents are the horrible people you make them out to be," jughead chimed in.

"can you blame me for thinking that?" archie practically yelled.

"i guess not. i'll talk to him," jughead told him.

"thanks jug."

archie watched as they left the diner and the only thing stopping him from following them was veronica sitting on the outside. but when he saw sweet pea hand the helmet to her he practically shoved her out and raced outside, his friends not far behind.

"absolutely not," he yelled. "she is not getting on that."

"calm down," veronica said.

"no, ronnie. a date is one thing but she can't get on that. she'll get hurt," he said. "i bet that's what you want though."

"excuse me," sweet pea stepped close to him.

"you heard me. i bet you're just itching to hurt her to get back at me."

"there's something wrong with you," sweet pea bit back.

"come on," she pulled sweet pea back. "he's not worth it."

"let's go," he mounted his bike and delilah followed him.

archie watched in anger as they rode away. he stormed back into pops, slammed money down on the table, and started running back home. when he got home, he went straight to delilah's room, but she wasn't there. he ran back down the stairs and found his dad in the kitchen.

"has 'lilah come back home?"

"no, i don't remember seeing her come in," fred responded. archie went back upstairs and called delilah. she didn't respond.

"god, he's annoying," delilah whined, putting her phone back in her pocket.

"i know," sweet pea said. they were sat on the edge of sweet water river, completely alone. "why doesn't he let you date?"

"i'm not really sure," delilah admitted. "something about all the boys being awful, i think. but i don't believe that."

"that's weird."

"i think he's trying to protect me, i mean he wouldn't ever leave my side growing up. but ever since he started dating veronica, he's been leaving me alone more, thank god."

"it still doesn't make sense though. you'd think he'd want you to have a boyfriend so he could protect you," sweet pea pointed out.

"i gave up on trying to understand my brothers mind a long time ago," she put a hand on his shoulder and sighed.

they sat there in silence, watching the river flow, for what felt like eternity before delilah spoke.

"it's getting late," she whispered. "it's dark and i'm cold."

"take my jacket," he took off his serpent jacket and handed it to her. "i'm sure your brother would love that."

"take me home," she said, snatching the jacket from him and pulling it over herself. she was practically drowning in it.

hé drove her back home and walked her up to her door. it wasn't that late but delilah didn't want to risk waking anyone up. she slowly crept up the stairs and entered her room. she found archie sitting on her bed.

"why him?"

"he asked me out," delilah said, crossing her arms.

"and you thought i would be okay with this?"

"archie, i have had enough with you thinking you can control my life. he likes me, and i like him. i'm not gonna let you ruin yet another relationship for me, i just won't," she was trying to be stern with him, but not be too loud. "now get out of my room," she pointed to the door.

"im not done with this," he said, heading for the door.

"yes, you are, archie. seriously leave me alone, you've done enough to hurt this family, dont add this to the list of things you'll be apologizing for for the rest of your life."

[paragonrobits]

Simon: So to bring back the magic and become Ice King again I have a few plans Fionna: Cool! What are ya thinking Simon: First, magic is made of having the right portions of Madness and Sadness in you Cake: What, wait? No, I mean, what? What?? Is this real? Simon: Yes, unfortunately Fionna: Um, that's a little weird but okay Simon: So, madness is not quite possible at this point. The Ice Crown is no longer around for me to just put it on and impose death of personality while it overwrites everything I am Fionna: Wait, hold on! It does WHAT Simon: The point is that this is no longer possible; the crown fused with its current wearer and I'm not getting that back. I don't want to, either, Gunter is a good boy and if he wants to be a horrible ice thing that's his business Cake: I gotta repeat myself. What?? Simon: Anyway, madness is likely inevitable for me because I'm sort of in the middle of a self destructive existential crisis, but you give me the idea you to are sort of in a hurry and believe me, you can't rush the collapse of your own sanity. I've tried. Fionna: Mr Petrikov I'm starting to be a little worried Simon: So I recommend we focus on sadness. That's easier to achieve and I'm already horribly upset about the fact that I don't belong anywhere anymore and never will, that I can't relate to either my people or my friends, and that without the madness crushing me all I have is the emptiness inside staring at me. So we can focus on that! Simon: I wrote up a dossier of all my most frail psychological weak points. I want you to recite them at me until I get so sad I explode into magic. Fionna, flipping through it: First of all, NO. Second of all, there's nothing written here. It's just 200 pages of you being used as a chair by that Betty lady I've heard about. Simon: Oh dang, wrong dossier! What I gave you was meant to be a to-do list after our wedding a thousand years ago. It... um. It, uh, never got to that point... Cake: I respect the enthusiasm for being who you are but you've been carrying that around for a thousand years? Simon: No way, books like that decay too quickly. I've been reproducing the book over and over. Fionna: WHY. I mean I get the appeal but why. Simon: Nostalgia, mostly.

[ailendolin]

From what I've seen, a lot of fans weren't happy with the way Ghosts ended. While I personally would have preferred the Coopers to stay at Button House, I do understand why the Idiots chose to end it the way they did, though. The issue here, I think, is not Alison and Mike leaving but the way it was executed. The last episode of series 5 was all about the ghosts convincing Alison and Mike to stay so having them sell the house an episode later almost felt like a retcon because that twist was so sudden and seemingly came out of nowhere.

I've mentioned before that a longer run time would have probably fixed that issue but thinking about it, swapping the main storylines of series 4 (gatehouse) and 5 (selling part of the land) might have as well. And here's how:

Alternate Series 4: To get the gatehouse ready, Alison and Mike need money and look into selling some of the land they own. This sets up the plots with Barclay and the French buyers. Just like in 5x06, the company expresses interest in the house which leads to Alison finding out that Julian pushed her out of the window. In the end, Julian convinces her to stay and Alison and Mike sell the land but not the house.

Alternate Series 5 starts with them trying to make the gatehouse work, including all the shenanigans we've seen in series 4 but with added, "Omg we're going to have a baby," to raise the stakes because Alison and Mike really, really need this to work if they want to get the house ready for a child. And just like in series 4 everything seems to work out until the gatehouse gets struck by lightning and burns down. The series ends on an uncertain note: "The question is: what now?"

Which leads us to the final episode where Betty stays after Mia's birth to help out as much as she can because Alison and Mike have their hands full with the insurance company and trying to make ends meet. Nerves are frayed, tensions run high until at last the ghosts come to Alison on Christmas Day and tell her, "It's okay. You don't have to stay." They know it's not working out for Alison and Mike (Fanny did the math) and they know they can't ask them to stay, not when they have Mia to think of now. So they let them go.

The show would end the same way it did in canon but not quite so abruptly because Alison and Mike wouldn't leave because the ghosts are annoying and overbearing. They would leave because it's the right thing for them to do at this point - the only option they have left, really, and it would have given us a gentler goodbye.

[itsthesinbin]

Ooooh could you do a continuation or the likes for that one Ice King x Reader?

https://www.tumblr.com/itsthesinbin/728472237009780736/okay-but-how-do-ice-king-and-reader-meet-did

By the sounds of it the two knew each other before :>

i did a sort of continuation here, but i am MORE than glad to do more of this lil au. this got. a lot longer than i thought it would. but maybe they Did know each other. just a little.

Ice King (Adventure Time)

Dating the Ice King was... odd, to say the least. He was hard to be with at first. He was clingy. He was manic. He could be a little aggressive- not dangerous, just cranky- if you ended up ignoring him for too long; too long being subjective to his needs that day. He was unbelievably frustrating.

But at the same time... he was, strangely, the nicest guy you've ever dated. He'd get cranky, but once he saw you weren't leaving him he didn't push you. He was clingy, but it was because he was lonely. He was manic, but you knew it wasn't his fault. He brought you gifts ranging from flowers to gems to even making ice sculptures in your likeness. It was flattering.

He had made a little ice elevator to get you into the castle easier, when you visited. And by Glob he was always delighted to see you. Every time he heard the elevator chugging its' way up the mountain, you could hear him.

"Gunther they're coming- is there anything in my beard?" he'd ask, followed by a little "wenk". You'd come up just in time to see the little penguin pecking something out of his master's beard. Then Gunther would waddle over to you, making Ice King screech in surprise and try to rub whatever food was in his beard out. You bit back a snort as you picked up your favorite little guy.

"You look fine, IK, calm down," you laughed. He grumbled, flustered and fixing his crown. You grinned as you set the penguin down. You gave him a hug in greeting, and as always he was a little tense before returning it tightly.

"So, what'd you wanna show me?" He had asked you to come over cause he found something "wicked sweet". That seemed to click the lightbulb on.

"Oh yeah! C'mon, sweet thang," he laughed as he yoinked you up like you weight nothing. You yelled in surprise, holding onto him as he flew through the castle. You couldn't help but laugh as well, enjoying the short flight.

"This is my "the past" room- you are the ONLY person aside from Gunther I've let in here," he explained as he set you down. You looked around at all the old stuff in awe, recognizing a lot of it immediately from your time period. You heard him fiddle with some things as you picked through the items.

The old suit jacket he'd give you to wear when you were cold- which you immediately put on as per usual. Some old books- a few of which were written by a Simon.... Petrikov. That sounded familiar...

Then it clicked. You used to live just down the street from him. You used to attend the same book club together, before he stopped coming due to his research. You remember him showing off a book he had gotten published to the group before he stopped joining as often. You'd make him food and check in on him, when Betty couldn't.

"Where is that damn thing?" you heard Ice King mutter. You looked at the jacket you were wearing, turning the book over. A picture of Simon, wearing the exact same jacket.

While your boyfriend was busy, you sifted through the junk pile. Newspaper clippings covered in mad scrawling that spelled out pleas for help and forgiveness. Multiple pictures of Simon and letters written by him to various people. A picture of a young, but now familiar, girl with writing on the back. You stared at another newspaper clipping, a ball of ice in your stomach unrelated to the cold of the ice kingdom. Simon stood next to a sickeningly familiar crown that sat upon a cushion, smiling as wide as can be at his discovery.

A familiar jingle jolted you out of your thoughts and you dropped the article. You whipped around to see Ice King standing next to a cracked tv that was now playing Cheers. He waved his hands in a "tada" motion.

"I got a bunch of old junk from WAAAAY back in the day, so I thought you'd like a little marathon! I can go make popcorn," he offered with a grin. Your mouth hung open as your eyes darted from him to the old tv show. You tried to speak, but all that came out was a soft sobbing noise as realization set in. Immediately, his face fell.

"Oh- What, do you not like this show? I can, uh... I'm sure I got something-!" You cut him off by nearly tackling him in a hug. You held him so tight, knuckles turning white as you gripped the fabric of his robe. Your knees felt weak, giving out and making him drop to the floor with you.

"M... Man, if I knew you liked the show this much, I'd have done this sooner," he tried to joke, not really understanding why you were crying. Thankfully, he just held you and scooted around so you both could see the tv. Not that you really watched it, being too busy reeling from your newfound knowledge.

Gunther, sweet as can be, brought in popcorn and plopped his little self in your lap. You could use the extra comfort. You felt Ice King's hand run up and down your back, and new he was taking glances at you to see if you were alright. For his sake, you pretended to watch the show and forced down some popcorn. He seemed to relax a little, thinking you were fine. You were anything but. However...

What could you even do?

[daisyswift3]

The Story/Secret of Us

So I believe I may have just solved a major piece of the puzzle and finally figured out WHY the tortured poets have been sending us these anonymous messages to help us solve it. I think this entire rabbit hole is a gift to us true fans which is why we got all of those cryptic present 🎁 anon messages. Alllll of these songs are dedicated to us (except for So High School and I will explain why I think this in more detail later). THIS is The Story or Secret of Us. The "secret" is this rabbit hole of connections and this secret language or code of symbols and metaphors we've all learned how to speak (sunshine/daylight/gold/yellow = Karlie/being out of the closet/queer love/happiness, 3 = Speak Now, orange = karma, etc). The "us" is the tortured poets and us true fans who share this secret language.

Another important part of understanding this puzzle is that some of these songs are time sensitive 🕰️ and like a prophecy (The Prophecy) waiting to be fulfilled. So after a certain point, some songs can no longer be applied bc that "scene" in the movie has already passed (If This Was A Movie). They want us to essentially play our part in the story they've written. Right now we are playing the part of Paul Revere or Cassandra warning swifties of what's coming (likely on Sept 28). And we're also acting as Taylor's wings/angels catching her when she falls off her pedestal (see this post). They want us to think of these moments when we listen to these songs bc they want them to be personally relatable bc that's part of our gift. I think this is what Taylor meant when she said

"Let me tell you my secret little dream for this evening. These are songs that I have written about my life or things I've felt at one point in time, whether I was a teenager, in my 20s, or a couple yrs ago. But after tonight when you hear these songs out and about in the world, my dream is that you're gonna think about tonight and the memories we made here together" (x)

and what present anon meant when they said

"Reach those lanterns a little bit higher. For you shall receive a metaphor so dire" (x).

"Then the actors (us true fans and the tortured poets) were hitting their marks and the slow dance was alight with the sparks and the tears fell in synchronicity with the score" // "It's a normal thing to fall in love with movie stars when the lights are low and red at all their favorite bars. And the story you want is the story you get. Are you special or was this all scripted in his head?...Don't worry, I know I'll see you again. Uh-huh, you'll make me cry when it comes to an end. You were all that we hoped (The Prophecy), but I can't recommend getting close, I should've known, but I'll see you again" (x). The tortured poets have invited us to "dance" with them by being a part of this movie. If we accept this invitation, then we essentially become the muse of these songs.

I think Gracie playing In Between as a surprise song on 9/19 was an easter egg for Lizzy’s song Pushing It Down and Praying that was released 9/20. I think the mv for this song is the visual representation of the 🫚 message about the audience member (us true fans) becoming a part of the magic show and also the teenage love triangle in folklore. In this story, we are playing the character Wendy/Betty while the tortured poets play the character Peter/James. Swifties or the fans who don’t see this metaphorical story are Augusta/Augustine, the girl that James cheats on Betty with in august. So even though the teenage love triangle is technically fictional, there are seeds of truth in it. This is what Taylor was trying to explain during the eras tour betty speeches when she said she created these fictional characters and she was acting as the narrator of their story (x). Role Model, who stars in the Pushing It Down and Praying mv, is also the opening act for Gracie's TSOU tour which is another connection.

And to add even more evidence to this theory, the teenage love triangle also makes an appearance in Gracie’s discography. Gracie has a song called Augusta on TIWIFL which just so happens to be the name of one of the characters in the love triangle. It is also the name of a town in Maine which is where Gracie’s family is from. There are 3 songs in total on TIWIFL that are named after towns in Maine—Camden, Augusta, and Rockland. If you put the first letters of these songs together, they spell out “CAR.” “Standing in your CARdigan, kissing in my CAR again,” “And when I felt like I was an old CARdigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite," 2:46 in betty ("She said 'James, get in, let's drive'") corresponding with 2:46 in august ("Remember when I pulled up and said get in the CAR").

august, betty, cardigan (the 3 sides or perspectives of the love triangle) are “ABC” bc the alphabet or capital letters are one of the major keys to solving this puzzle. As I mentioned in this post, I think Audrey has been helping to plant easter eggs. She posted Capital Letters by Hailee Steinfeld on her insta 3 times which is quite interesting and she also included this song in her Summa playlist.

What makes this even more suspicious is that she specifically chose timestamps in the songs (1:11 and 1:23) that have these lyrics ⬇️ and she posted the 1:11 timestamp TWICE which indicates that she really wanted to emphasize it. "God I'm jumping in the deep end, it's more fun to swim in. Heard the risk is drowning but I'm gonna take it."

Another thing that I think ties in with all of this is the Stephen Colbert interview. In this post below, I explain why I think the pizza on the mood board represents PR/bearding/showmanship/magic. I also explain how the letters that spell out Stephen's name are a huge clue and are related to the Peter Pan metaphor that is a through line in both Gracie's and Taylor's music. This is another example of "capital letters" or the alphabet being the key to solving the puzzle.

Going back to what I said in the first paragraph, this entire rabbit hole of cross-referenceable songs is dedicated to us except for the "pizza" So High School which is the one song she dedicated to 🏈 This is why Taylor's mood board had one slice of pizza while every other picture was of Stephen.

[agentianlegend]

Fire with Fire Ch. 13: FAHM

A DP x MCU Spider-Man Crossover

AO3 | FFn

------

"Well," Betty began, "I guess I'd better get used to wild stories if I'm going to have a future in journalism."

"You wanna become a reporter?" Danny asked.

Betty held up her phone and notepad. "What, you thought I just did this stuff for extra credits?"

"I dunno…maybe?"

She shook her head dismissively. "People are so interesting, Danny. What they show the world, what the world sees on accident, what's really going on inside their heads… It's such a complicated, tangled web that I just can't help but pluck at." The blonde turned her head to look straight into her date's eyes. "Like you."

------

Peter took a sip of his drink while Danny prepared portions for himself and Betty. He noticed when Danny stilled slightly at the site of a bucket of ice next to the neighboring drink options. "So how much longer are you gonna pretend you're not gonna be a superhero?" Peter prodded.

"Ssh!" Danny angrily hushed, checking for anyone nearby. "It's never gonna happen."

"C'mon Danny, you've got a gift." Peter shifted to a more playful smile. "Plus, I bet you'd beat Phantom in the hometown hero popularity vote pretty easily."

Danny glared.

------

Flames ballooned over the boy. The force of their rapid expansion blew out the surrounding windows next to where the laser had entered, further metastasizing the fire. A chandelier swung wildly in the air displacement until it snapped free of its mount and crashed to the floor. Now the entire ballroom had been engulfed once more, the lovingly crafted goods reduced to indiscriminate fuel as dislodged ceiling tiles rained down around them.

------

Well, y'all, we're finally back in business! It's been a heck of a year, but I am so stoked to publish chapter 13 of this fic. It was never officially on hiatus; I've just been Going Through ItTM nonstop for months. A HUGE shoutout to my fandom friends who helped make this possible through editorial and/or moral support, including @ghostiemouse, @weshney, @the-outcast-ed, @summerssixecho, @arken-99, @tytach, and more. I love and appreciate you all ❤️❤️❤️

Enjoy the fic! I can't wait to hear what you all think!

(Heads up @platoniclace the update's finally out!)

[tomorrowsgardennc]

so this is how i started down the rabbit hole of wanting/needing a frog pond...

it all started when i was dumb and left my gorilla wagon outside during that hurricane that came on through, beryl betty, beejou, beetlejuice... already forgot the name. but it dumped a TON of water in the span of only 1.5 days, so of course the wagon got full super quick. i guess it also rained frogs instead of cats and dogs because some frogs laid eggs in said wagon cart. now the thing is, i own this cart wagon gorilla because i need it. i use it quite often, considering how many raised beds i've been constructing and replenishing compost for. but frogs win over me.

i've been checking my no longer gorilla but now frog wagon cart daily since then, and now i'm down to i believe 5ish tadpoles just chilling in there. and yes i washed my hands thoroughly after this video. also wave hi to me at the end.

i believe i have picked a good dedicated space for a permanent frog pond in the middle of one of my raised beds in the front yard. i plan on surrounding it with vegetable plants all year round (dinosaur kale in the winter, then next year will be purple tomatillos). i had cantaloupe plants in it before but man i couldn't reach the middle both because of my back and because the bed is just too square.

so the only remaining question i have before i commit to this is that do i need a run-off drain drilled near the top for the next downpour, or does it just do that on it's own and no worries about it?? this is an old hydroponics bin that i used once and was like 'cool. but a tower would be better' so i don't plan on using it ever again for that purpose.

thank you to soooo many people who helped me when i first panic posted about what to do: @the-thing-of-worms, @martha-anne, @roseredsnow, and @mrsjdavis. without your advice or thoughts i would not have kept going with this idea!

i now know to add plants to the water, and going to add rocks of various sizes in and around the pond. i'm debating on adding fish, because as much as i would love that idea - i'm worried about the pond freezing in winter and also not only parsley but other cats in the neighborhood just coming and eating them all. but i guess that's nature for you. totes going to put in a water pump to keep the water moving, that will be like step 1.

oh, and a photo of the frogs that live in my yard. no idea of the species, but man they are everywhere.

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for a fic...

~*~

1. I'm kind of in the mood for jiang free wangxian fics, where the the extent of jiangs involvement in the plot are just brief mentions / For ITMF, a longer canonverse wangxian fic that doesn't heavily feature Jiang Cheng on page. Canon divergence is very welcome but not mandatory.

~*~

2. hi! do you have any fics where lwj struggles with his sadism? canonverse please and bonus points if they are E rated ;) @chellsky

still waters by piggybo (E, 3k, WangXian, Consensual Kink, Light Sadism, Light Masochism, Outdoor Sex, Painful Sex, Spit As Lube, Kink Discovery, Light Bondage, Internal Conflict, CQL!verse, Post-Canon, not as explicit as the tags make it sound, but still pretty explicit)

bb!Sadist by Betty (T, 3k, WangXian, Non-Sexual Kink, Sadism, Modern AU) not canon but a good read cause it's abt the Struggle

💖 Magical Marriage Ribbons series by starandrea (M, 1M, WIP, wangxian, ongoing, animal transformations, weddings) in the Magical Marriage Ribbons series, Teen!Wangxian continuously need to discuss around LWJ's reluctance to admit what he wants sexually in earlier parts that's very lovely!

~*~

3. Hii!!! Im back for another ITMF! I've been seeing a lot of art of spider-man aus for wangxian and I was wondering if you knew of any fics with either one or both of them having spider-man powers? Thanks so much! @loveshinesbrightly

~*~

4. hiiiii it's me again for the next ITMF I was reading a fiction and lqr said that : "He could definitely picture an alternate reality wherein he didn’t overhear their conversation, and Wangji ended up impulsively withdrawing his entire trust fund to elope cross-country with Wei Wuxian and start a new life together - all to avoid having to face the disapproval of their families." do you know any story where it actually happens ????? thanks✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ @ihaveasoftspotfora-yuan

keep your electric eye on me, babe by ilip13 (M, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fluff, Falling In Love) is mostly a meet-cute fic but does involve lwj running off with wwx at the end

~*~

5. Hey, I'm looking for some Daemon AU fics. @the-dolphin-queen

🧡 like speaking to my heart by SnowshadowAO3 (T, 613k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Daemons, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Some people live!, additional warnings in specific chapters, if you don't know what daemons are that's ok because I explain it in the author's note, also by slow burn I VERY much mean slow burn)

Daemons and Sentient Swords Comp

~*~

6. hi! i was wondering if you knew of any mafia au fics? 💖

🧡 Rule Number One: Never get attached. by KizuKatana (E, 130k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O, Criminal underworld AU, Fluff and angst, Crime boss LWJ, Rouge criminal genius WWX, Explicit Sex)

Miscalculated Misreckoning by LadyVamp (E, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, Organized Crime, Attempted Kidnapping, Murder Husbands, Blood and Violence, Violent Sex, Married WangXian, BAMF LWJ, BAMF WWX, YLLZ WWX, Hair-pulling, Office Sex, Desk Sex, Dark LWJ, Protective LWJ, Dark WWX, Partners in Crime, Gun Violence, Gun Kink, Crime Syndicate Qíshān Wēn Sect, Arranged Marriage, Crime Lord LWJ, Crime Lord WWX)

of demons and the good they bring by mimi123meg (M, 1k, WangXian, Modern AU, Mob, Crime Boss LWJ, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JC, Slight Violence, not too graphic, but definitely there, Established Relationship)

Take Some Advice Paesano by FeelsForBreakfast (M, 8k, wangxian, modern, mob au, mafia the 🤡 version, humor, mistaken identity, getting together)

You & Me Baby, We'll Eclipse The Sun Series by 2501987 (M/E, 130k, WangXian, XiCheng, MIND THE TAGS, Modern AU, Mafia, Murder husbands, Torture, Possessive Behavior, Blood and Violence, Older JC, Younger WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Dark)

The Damage You Do by stiricide (E, 87k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Dom/Sub, Dark LWJ, Mobster LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Sex Worker WWX, Sugar Baby WWX, WWX adopts LSZ, Dubious Consent, each chapter has sex tag notes on it, BDSM, Sounding, Panic Attacks, Angst with a Happy Ending)

Due Process by Kytrin, Mslead (E, 279k, WangXian, XiSangCheng, ZhuiLingZhen, Modern AU, Canon-Typical Violence, Foxxian, dragonji, Genderfluid WWX, Wwx identifies as male, Organized Crime, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, mentions of child abuse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Found Family, Reincarnation)

Naughty Kitty Go Meow Meow: An Urban Romance From The City of Dragons by Hinu (E, 160k, WangXian, NieLan, RuoXian, Modern AU, Mafia, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Dragon LWJ, Cat Hybrid WWX, Porn with Plot, Organized Crime, Pole dancing, Possessive LWJ, WWX has a Vulva, Omegas have a vagina, GNC WWX, Good Person WZL, Dark LWJ, Sexual harassment, Non-Consensual Bondage, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Eventual Fluff)

Beautiful Nightmare (Sweet Dreams) by Cy_an_Blue (E, 79k, WangXian, Modern AU, explicit depictions of torture, explicit depictions of violence, Dark LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Crime Boss LWJ, Mafia AU, Kidnapping, Stockholm Syndrome, (Kinda but not really), Implied Sexual Content, Sexual Harassment, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Not by WangXian, Dubious Consent, Age Difference, Kid Fic, Heavy/Dark Themes, Cheating, not wangxian, 365 days (2020) inspired, Angst with a Happy Ending, Falling In Love, Past QingXian, Minor LWJ/Other(s), Homophobic Language, Derogatory Language)

To Protect My Family I'll Give You Anything by stiricide (E, 4k, WangXian, Modern AU, Alpha WWX, Omega LWJ, Bottom LWJ, Gangsters, Gangbang, Fisting, Public Sex, Public Humiliation, Knotting, Mating Bites, Happy Ending, Dark LWJ, Dark WWX, Spanking, Dubious Consent, Top WWX, Threats of Violence, but not between wangxian)

there is a mafia au comp !!

~*~

7. A) In the mood for wen Ning and Wei Ying being close

B) Is there any wangxian book which is like omniscient reader's viewpoint? Fusion or similar. I just plain and simple love it to the end of the world. @whateverweilanlovechild​

7A)

Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! by KizuKatana (E, 63k, wangxian, WN & WWX & WQ, graphic depictions of violence, modern cultivation, canon divergence, YZY abuses WWX , caught on camera, partial core removal, WWX kicked out of Jiang sect, livestreamer WWX, meet ugly, dual cultivation, smut, no war, WIP) 

All Things Belong by kuroi_atropos (M, 65k, WRH & WWX, wangxian, WN & WWX, Wen WWX, abuse, whipping, manipulations, smart WWX, possessive behavior, implied/Referenced rape/non-con, past rape/non-con, WIP)

~*~

8. ITMF superhero wangxian!! i’m not too particular on the context, be it only one of them, or both of them, or hero/villain. the more explicit the better, though 🌝

mission report by bosbie (T, 13k, WangXian, Modern AU, Superheroes/Superpowers, Fluff, Humor, First Meetings, Falling In Love, Getting Together)

a wild heart to tame mine by theroyalsavage (G, 10k, WangXian, Superheroes/Superpowers, Strangers to Lovers, bookshop owner lwj/superhero wwx, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Wangxian-typical tenderness)

Tired of the Sunset by julomaiboulomai (M, 55k, WangXian, NieLan, Modern AU, Superheroes/Superpowers, Identity Porn, Secret Identity, Parent-Child Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Canonical Character Death, Also Canonical 'He Gets Better', Unreliable Narrator, superhero fights, Major Character Injury, Major Character Undeath, Slow Burn, But also somehow, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, JC-LWJ Mutual Hate Society, Domestic Fluff, Co-Parenting, Making Out, well slowish burn, Fade to Black, Brief mentions of suicide, Angst with a Happy Ending, Art Embedded)

🧡 Of Ghosts and Heroes by The Silverfish (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 51k, AS & WWX, AS/YH, WangXian, BNHA/MHA Crossover, Dimension Travel, POV Outsider, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Angst) Sort of? It's a crossover with bnha and I think a few mdzs characters become heroes in it

Free Wifi for Heroes by JJSparrow (E, 50k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, Pro Heroes (MHA), Switching, Engineer!WWX, Hero!LWJ, CEO!WWX, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Inventor!WWX, Top/Bottom Switch WangXian, Explicit Sexual Content, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fluff and Smut, First Kiss, First Time)

~*~

9. Hi, thanks for doing these recs!

For the next itmf, I'd like wangxian in the Cloud Recesses Study Arc, kinda like Stunted, Starving Juvenility. Preferably long, like 50k+, but any length is fine!

Thank you! @moonlightflora-101​

Silenced With A Kiss by NinjaKK (E, 88k, wangxian, cloud recesses study arc, flirting, fluff, teen romance, happy ending, secret relationship, falling in love, first kiss, first dates, inventor WWX, genius WWX, protective WWX; protective LWJ, happy ending, ripple effect, first time, fluff & smut, supportive LWJ, BAMF WWX, WIP)

The initial parts of 💖 Magical Marriage Ribbons series by starandrea (M, 1M, WIP, wangxian, ongoing, animal transformations, weddings, link in #2) also fits for 9, I think

O, What Learning Is! by Comfect (T, 60k, WangXian, XiCheng, Canon Divergence, No Fall of Lotus Pier, No Golden Core Transfer, Fix-It, Butterfly Effect, Fluff, Cultivation Theory, Cultivation Sect Politics, JZX Lives, JYL Lives, WWX-Typical Obliviousness, Unreliable Narrator WWX, The Undeniable Romance of Quests, Good Student WWX (for a given value of good student), Canon-typical treatment of children, Bad Parent YZY, Bad Parent JFM, Good Uncle LQR)

Three changes. by orange_crushed (M, 18k, WangXian, Fluff, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Friends to Lovers, Romantic Comedy, Fade to Black, Mild Sexual Content, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot No War AU, Falling In Love, Non-Graphic Violence, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Sparring, Harm to Animals, Don't Worry The Animal is Fine Wangji Makes Sure of That, Developing Friendships, teenagers in love, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Blood, First Time)

Unstoppable by Netrixie (T, 149k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Eventual Happy Ending, Unreliable Narrator, Slow Burn, Minor OC's, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Wolf-shifter WWX, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, Fix-It, Shapeshifters, Sunshot Campaign)

In Walls of Glass by Comfect (T, 43k, WangXian, XiCheng, Good Uncle LQR, Teacher LQR, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Yet Another Butterfly Effect Fix-It, JC friendly, Family Feels, Demonic Cultivation, Cultivation Theory, Tagged CQL not MDZS, POV LQR)

~*~

10. Hello! ITMF where WWX is super duper Mary Sue. I just read “The Darkness Before Dawn” by PsycheStellata707, and I loved how WWX was just the most beautiful, the most powerful, the most smart, the most loved, the richest, the super bamf. It was indulgent and fun. Any other fics like this?

leave all your love and your longing behind by ScarlettStorm (E, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Meet-Ugly, Panic Attacks, autistic lwj, neurodivergent wwx, the neighborhood asshole dog, if you’ve met one then you know, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Happy Ending, for everyone including the   asshole dog, Eventual Smut, switch rights, Sex Toys, horny yearning, Masturbation) (link in #14)

🧡 Rule Number One: Never get attached. by KizuKatana (E, 130k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O, Criminal underworld AU, Fluff and angst, Crime boss LWJ, Rouge criminal genius WWX, Explicit Sex) (link in #6)

Whatever you do by apathyinreverie (T, 8k, WangXian, somewhat darker cultivation world, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, BAMF LXC, not Jiang friendly, YZY Bashing, wwx is appreciated, genius wwx, everyone is a little darker in this, except for wwx, Fluff, Possessive LWJ, Fix-It)

~*~

11. Hi hi, hope everything is going well :) Sorry if this has been asked before, but for either ITMF or Fic Finder are there any good fics with Yunmeng trio shenanigans/slice of life?

~*~

12. hello! sorry to bother you, but theres any new wangxian fic with mpreg? especially (only) pregnant wei wuxian, please and thanks! 💖🙏🏽

--

Hello, can you suggest any fluffy wangxian fic where wei Wuxian is pregnant. Would love it if it is long. Thank you 😊😊 @mayavsworld​

In which Lan Qiren eavesdrops and gets a new nephew (and grandnephew) out of it by h0peless_oblivion (M, 64k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Mpreg, Teen Pregnancy, Shotgun Wedding, Good Uncle LQR, Madam Yu's A+ Parenting, Fluff and Angst, Family Feels, Unspecified Setting, Probably ooc, WWX Has ADHD, A-Yuan is Wangxian's son, Pregnant WWX, Humor, non-graphic birth, Family Drama, The Lans love wwx, Male Lactation, Mild Smut in later chapters, wangxian's canonical breeding kink, Tooth-Rotting Fluff) it's marked as a WIP but the main story is over the rest are sides stories

My Heart is a Cavern of Longing, Please come home? by LadyVamp (E, 28k, WangXian, Non-Traditional A/B/O Dynamics, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, Bitch WWX, Forced Marriage, Accidental Baby Acquisition, YLLZ WWX, Oblivious WWX, Módào Zǔshī & The Untamed Combination, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Forced Bonding, Forced Pregnancy, Depressed WWX, Sex In A Cave, Uncontrolled heats, JZX Lives, Arranged Marriage, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Pining LWJ, Pining WWX, Child LJY, LJY is WangXian's son, Unplanned Pregnancy, Pregnant WWX, Mpreg)

Bonded Fate by Missty0foxx (E, 19k, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Canon Divergence, Dubious Consent, Mating, Mating Bites, Knotting, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Angst with a Happy Ending, Self-Lubrication, LWJ Has a Big Dick, Teenage WangXian, Time Skips, Mpreg, Caring LWJ, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Pregnant Sex, Pregnant WWX, Mating Cycles/In Heat, WangXian Have a Breeding Kink, LWJ Has a Biting Kink)

The Beautiful and the Damned by Anonymous (M, 15k, WangXian, Wingfic, Immortal LWJ, Demon WWX, Mpreg, Pregnant WWX, Wing Kink, Human JC, mmortal LXC, Immortal LSZ, Immortal LJY, Crow WWX, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, WangXian Are LSZ's Parents, Gambling, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Spanking, CNC and Dubcon elements, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Unplanned Pregnancy)

Pregxian & Pregji Comp

~*~

13. Hey guys hope all is well , I’m in the mood for a fix with bodyguard Lan Zhan just out here protecting wei ying idk if anything like this exists but I’m intrigued.

Thank you for all your hard work x @red-spacekitten

Bodyguard king by 74243 (E, 8k, Female WangXian, Modern AU, Idol WWX, Bodyguard LWJ, Female NHS, Platonic D/s, Loss of Virginity)

lightning in a bottle by nighimpossible (E, 12k, WangXian, Modern AU, Bodyguard LWJ, Scientist WWX, Mutual Pining, Blow Jobs, (light) Rope Bondage, Kitchen Sex, Anal Fingering)

~*~

14. Itmf for fics where LWJ has friends!! Who teases him!! And are there for him!! I've often seen Mianmian with him and I've enjoyed those fics alot!! Preferably canonverse but modern au's are fun too!!

❤️ save a sword, ride a socialist by sysrae (E, 33k, wangxian, modern w magic, college/university au, fake/pretend relationship, single parent WWX, homophobia, light angst w/ happy ending, idiots to lovers, fluff) is really good

leave all your love and your longing behind by ScarlettStorm (E, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Meet-Ugly, Panic Attacks, autistic lwj, neurodivergent wwx, the neighborhood asshole dog, if you’ve met one then you know, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Happy Ending, for everyone including the   asshole dog, Eventual Smut, switch rights, Sex Toys, horny yearning, Masturbation) Scarlett storm does a great job of showing lan zhan with actual friends and a support system , however this one in particular is great !

mating rituals by detectorist (E, 16k, WangXian, XuanLi, JZX & LWJ, Modern AU, College/University, Humour, Pining, Getting Together, Idiots in Love)

correspondence of two fools madly in love by serenedebeautea (G, 2k, WangXian, XuanLi, LWJ & JZX)

forget-me-not by mellowflicker (E, 31k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Sugar Daddy WWX, Sugar Baby LWJ, Professor WWX, Student LWJ, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, Secret Relationship, Age Difference, Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain, JZX & LWJ Friendship, Family Issues, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs)

Orchids in Lotus Pier by Vamillepudding (G, 21k, WangXian, JC & LWJ, Canon Divergence, Romantic Comedy, Mutual Pining, Protective JC, Friends to Lovers, Misunderstandings)

~*~

15. Hi there! Hope you day is going good!!! I need your help to find me a(lot) fan fiction with dragon lan wangji/human wei wuxian please 🙇‍♀️🥺 @mahamhere

Coil Tightly by Thunderstruck (Blueyed_Impala) (T, 50k, WangXian, Dragon LWJ, Shifters, Modern with Magic, WWX is oblivious to magic, Slow Burn, Fluff, Attempt at Humor, References to Animal Abuse but the animal is LWJ, Hurt/Comfort, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, WWX has abandonment issues, Possessive LWJ, Clueless Flirting, OC Lan disciples for plot reasons)

These Mortal Treasures by ChilianXianzi (T, 9k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fantasy, Dragon LWJ, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Possessive LWJ, Domestic Fluff, implied eggpreg, The Cultivation World's canonical fuckery, eggyuan!, Gift Giving)

Love at first bite by luckymoonly (M, 14k, WangXian, NieLan, Modern setting with dragons, Falling In Love, NMJ and JYL own a bakery together, Interspecies Romance, Crossdressing, Everyone lives in the same building, First Time, Fluff and Humor, Mpreg, LWJ's canonical big dick, Horny lwj, Smut, LXC and LWJ are dragon princes, Lingerie, Dating, Medium Burn, Possessive LWJ)

wind and rain by hauntedotamatone (E, 15k, WangXian, Dragon LWJ, Porn With Plot, Size Difference, Mildly Dubious Consent, Spit As Lube, Fairy Tale Elements, Double Penetration in One Hole, Rough Sex, Biting, Curse Breaking, Teratophilia, Fuck Or Die, but not for who you'd think, Meet-Ugly, Rimming, Past physical abuse, consensual and sane but not 100 percent safe, Non-Human Genitalia, Come as Lube, Multiple Orgasms, Overstimulation, Copious Amounts of Come)

Jaws of the Dragon by celerydragon (Not Rated, 7k, WangXian, dubcon, Exhibitionism, Nonconsensual Exhibitionism, Bestiality, Belly Bulge, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Breeding Kink, dragonji, LWJHas a Big Dick, lwj can transform into a human)

other earths and skies by binghecarer (T, 53k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, (but not in the typical way?), Slow Burn, Canon-Typical Scars and Injuries, Curses, Hurt/Comfort)

fell by you by Vrishchika (E, 44k, Dragon LWJ, Fantasy, Explicit Smut in Last Chapter, Pining, POV LWJ, Canon Divergence, Immortals, Deities, Canon-Typical Violence, Dragon WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending)

this river runs to you Series by aubreyli, sundiscus (T/E, 66k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mutual Pining, Dragons, Literal Sleeping Together, Tender wound tending, First Time, Oral Sex, Coming Untouched, Porn with Feelings, Established Relationship) 

Making Mouths at Dragons by athena_crikey (E, 10k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mpreg, baby fever, near PWP, Dragon sex, also human sex, Rimming, Size Kink, Egg Laying, Family, Feel-good, hints of self-worth issues, Dragon LWJ)

~*~

16. hello!! for the next itmf, any fanfics where they elaborate on wei changze and/or cangse sanren? secret families, they survive, even pre canon, just some wei family feels. thank youu <33

I Will Call You By Name by DisasterMages (T, 73k, WangXian, WWX raised by XXC, Canon Divergence, Family Feels) does ´I will call you by name’ by DisasterMages count they’re a few flashbacks about them

tall as the mountains that sheltered us by thelastdboy (M, 4k, CSSR/WCZ, CSSR & WWX & WCZ, wangxian, canon divergence, CSSR & WCZ live, crack treated seriously, childhood friends to lovers, genius WWX, inventor WWX, bg character death, happy ending, WCZ pov) wcz & cssr are saved by the lan.

The Long Winding Road Home by Admiranda (T, 12k, CSSR/WCZ, wangxian, time travel, post-canon, not JC friendly, fluff, family reunion, mocking LQR to his face, mocking JC to his face, wild rumours) wcz & cssr return after 30 years trapped.

Silver (Bloodshot) Eyes by GeminiWillow (T, 15k, WangXian, WCZ & WWX, WCZ & JL, Not Jiāng Chéng Friendly, JC Bashing, YZY Bashing, Yúnmèng Jiāng Sect Bashing, BAMF WCZ, Ghost WCZ, JC Canon Characteristics, Mentions of WWX's Canonical Child Abuse, Child JL, JL Needs a Hug, Revenge) vengeful ghost wcz torments jc during the timeskip. jiang bashing.

The Wei of family by HikariNoHimeWriter (E, 46k, WangXian, WCZ/CSSR, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, CSSR and WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Male omega with vagina, Vaginal Fingering, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Vaginal Sex, First Time, Falling In Love, some violence, Genius WWX, WWX Has ADHD, CSSR Has ADHD, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Eventual Smut, Love Confessions, Mating Bond, WangXian Elope, Kinda, Not JC Friendly, not yzy friendly, Mpreg) omega wwx grows up with his family and finds love

a burden of figs by spookykingdomstarlight (T, 16k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, CSSR and WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Breaking Up & Making Up, Getting Back Together, Hurt/Comfort, Injured WWX, caretaker LWJ, Mutual Pining) rogue cultivator wwx dating to breakup to makeup.

somehow, someway, we all get to someday by Stratisphyre (T, 75k, WangXian, CSSR/LQR/WCZ, MDM Lan/OFC, Canon Divergence, Role Reversal, Canon-Typical Violence, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Parenthood, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Threesome - F/M/M, Family Feels, Not JFM Friendly, Not Lan Sect Friendly, past emotional abuse, Demisexual Character, Inclusive discussions of reproductive rights) jfm & yzy die on a nighthunt and wcz & cssr run the jiang as regents for jc.

~*~

17. Hi!! ITMF for submissive LWJ with a praise kink. Whether he's top or bottom doesn't matter.

Shatter All Barriers by YunmengLotus (E, 11k, WangXian, Modern AU, Painplay, Light Dom/sub, very brief subdrop, Praise Kink, Wax Play, Temperature Play, Sex Toys, Communication, light blood play (really light but there is blood), BDSM, Intercrural Sex, thigh fucking, Non-Penetrative Sex, Coming Untouched, Piercings, Needles, Sub LWJ, dom WWX, kind of, Getting Together, piercer wwx)

Maybe You're the Reason by Clearpearls (E, 67k, WangXian, College/University, Phone Sex, slight D/s, Secret Identity, Praise Kink, Phone Sex Operator WWX, slight internalized sexual repression, Fluff, Light Angst, Dirty Talk, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Slow Burn, Sub LWJ, Bottom LWJ, Vibrators, Aftercare, Introspection)

old wounds by BloodRedCarnation (E, 23k, WangXianYu, Established WangXian, PWP, Kink Negotiation, Switch WangXian, Age Difference, Power Dynamics, Threesome, healing through sex, Breathplay, Light exhibitionism kink, Praise Kink, Dom/sub, Virgin MXY, Post-Canon, Fix-It of Sorts, Double Penetration)

Caffeine, Small Talk by mistergoblin (E, 144k, WangXian, Modern AU, Friends With Benefits, Enemies to Lovers, or more accurately: frenemies to fuck, buddies to lovers, Angst and Fluff and Smut, touch-starved lwj, Slow Burn, high levels of sexual tension, Misunderstandings, Getting to Know Each Other, Switching, Bottom LWJ, bottom WWX, slight D/s, Happy Ending, side yanqing, lwj's patented horny grip, Sub LWJ)

Here Comes The Heat (Before We Meet) by mistergoblin (E, 15k, WangXian, Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, D/s elements, Sub LWJ, Bottom LWJ, but they switch wbk, Collars, Praise Kink, Rough Sex, Spanking, Explicit Consent)

a new kind of silence by deliciousblizzardshark (E, 11k, WangXian, Modern AU, Autistic LWJ, Communication Disorder, Trans LWJ, Protective WWX, Pregnant LWJ, Panic Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Getting Together, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Soft WangXian, POV WWX)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[serialkillerbettycooper]

what if hiram and archie but they're both girls

Short answer: toxic yuri <3 yay <3

Long answer: I've been mulling over this one all day because masculinity is so wrapped up in the way Hiram and Archie's relationship manifests in a way that doesn't really translate to femininity. 'mob boss' and 'capo' are both such heavily-gendered roles, and their dynamic is constantly being expressed through ritualized, homoerotic violence in the form of boxing, wrestling, and blood oaths (the rituals. they are so intricate). And while I think women beating the shit out of each other rules, the cinematic language and commentary on gender and masculinity inevitably changes a lot with the gender swap. They're both very different people with the confines of masculinity removed, and the confines of femininity added.

That said, I love toxic yuri and this is a fascinating question to me, so facing god and walking backwards straight into fanfiction territory here, but if i was writing Archie and Hiram as women, here's how I think I'd do it:

Veronica doesn't get her gender swapped, but Hermione does. Hermione becomes a lot more distant, no longer having the shared experience of womanhood to bond with Veronica over, and remains cognizant and jealous of (insane that she just. said that out loud. by the way) the intensity of Hiram and Veronica's relationship, but is even less likely to step in. I've gone back and forth but I think it's interesting to keep Fred a single father, whose already-shaky abilities to relate to Archie and assert appropriate boundaries only diminish with Archie as a teenage girl instead of a teenage boy.

Also, f!Archie is butch/gnc, f!Hiram is not.

Hiram's had to navigate the male-dominated mob world as a woman, and has to play the careful gender balancing-act that requires, presenting her femininity as powerful in a way that remains palatable to her male peers, think eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man femme fatale vibes. Hiram deeply cares about gender presentation and being seen as 'correctly' masculine - 'a real man' - in canon and in this AU, 'correctly' feminine. Which naturally leads to feeling threatened by and disapproving of Veronica's relationship with Archie, a sporty butch girl from a working-class family whose very existence undermines Hiram's ideas about gender. Hiram would be so gay and homophobic about it. Archie becomes a canvas on which Hiram can project her own issues about gender, and then blot them out, controlling and destroying masculinity in another woman/girl, shaping her into the image of someone worthy of her daughter in the process.

Thinking about the suits Archie wears while working with Hiram, the tone that takes on if it's Archie slowly becoming more femme under Hiram's influence. About the subversion of femininity used to signify maturity. About the parallels you could draw with Alice's control of Betty's appearance, about Hiram giving Archie pearls, about the differences in the rituals men and women construct to touch one another.

Toxic yuri of the century.

[madsworld15]

Letter to Gavin Creel

Dear Gavin,

I was in the middle of a major website project at work on Monday when I heard that you had passed away. For the first time in my life, I actually sobbed hysterically at the death of someone famous. When I say sobbed hysterically, I mean unable to focus on anything because my eyes were too wet and my chest was too tight. I hadn’t cried like this since the day my grandmother died four years ago.

You see, I don't usually get this visibly upset when people in the public sphere pass away. Sure, I was sad when people like Sondheim, Betty White, and Robin Williams died. But I've never been so upset that I couldn't function. That is just your impact on the world, for me and so many others.

The last time I saw you in person was in 2017 at the stage door of She Loves Me. Despite it having been years since then, I believe that if we’d met at a stage door or other event today, you’d still recognize me. Because that is the type of person you are. I guess were, now that you’ve passed, but I can’t find it in myself to talk of you in the past tense. It just doesn’t seem real that someone so full of life and immortal is no longer here with us, dancing through this thing called life.

You don’t know this, but I got to see you perform in my favorite musical, Into the Woods, when the tour came to Philadelphia in April of last year. It was a last-minute decision that fell on a weeknight, so I couldn’t stay late afterward to stage door. Of course, I thought to myself that I’d have plenty more opportunities to see you work your craft. Now that you’ve passed, I wish I had said “fuck it” to having to be at work the next day and stayed to chat with you.

Like so many of those who looked up to and admired you, I first discovered you when I was in HS watching Eloise at the Plaza. As a child, I had adored the Eloise books, so naturally, I was excited to see a film made about the precocious girl. Back then I had no idea who you were, just that your name was attached to the character of Bill. I adored Bill and his silly, over-the-top theatrics and became obsessed with watching the movie just for him – though Eloise was great, too.

Then, as a freshman in college, I started talking to this person from New York City through a mutual fan group on Facebook. She encouraged my very limited knowledge of musical theatre and introduced me to so many new things. One of them was a bootleg recording of Hair from 2009. The energy you exuded on stage was palpable, even from the grainy 2000s video.

At that point in my life, I was sure I would never get out of Kansas. I knew I was different and didn't fit in with the other people in my small-town Kansas community. By the time I left and moved to NY in 2013, I still wasn't sure what my identity was, but I was certain I belonged to the queer community. Upon arriving in New York, I quickly found myself immersed in the musical theatre community there.

One of the first shows I saw was The Book of Mormon. I would visit the theatre at least once a week, sometimes even twice. I didn't really have the finances to do that, but my mental health demanded comfort, and that show was where I found it. So, once or twice a week, I would play the lottery or do standing room.

By the time you moved from The Book of Mormon on the West End to Broadway, I was ready for you but also hesitant to love you because your predecessor, Nic Rouleau, had had such a profound impact on my mental health and self-worth. From the moment I met you, though, I knew I could never have any feelings other than love for you.

Sure, I already knew I loved you as a performer from the years of watching bootlegs of your performances, listening to your EPs, and loving you in Eloise. However, my connection and attachment to The Book of Mormon was so great that each time the leads switched, I had a hard time adjusting.

It was different with you, though. You immediately took me under your wing and made me know I was important to you. That first night, you forced me to hand over my phone for our photo, and you scrolled through filters until you found the one you wanted. Then you insisted we do silly faces, that serious faces weren't needed. It was as if you knew I needed comfort more than a professional stage door selfie.

Over the course of the year you were part of the Broadway company, we interacted many times. Every time you saw me, your face would light up, you'd insist on a silly photo, and then you'd ask me if I was doing okay and how work was going. You genuinely wanted to know. It was something that got me through those extremely dark days of working a job I hated but not knowing any other path I could go on.

I didn't ever tell you this, but those moments kept my suicidal thoughts during that time at bay. Knowing I could swing by the stage door at any time, whether I'd seen the show or not, and talk to you was what got me through. We never talked about anything profound or world-changing, but you asking me about my day and encouraging me to find my passion changed my whole life.

After you left Mormon, I didn't see you again until the final days of She Loves Me. I fully expected you to not remember who I was, but you did. Once again, your smile grew at the sight of me, and you made a joke while wiggling your face to emphasize the mustache on your face. I wish I'd taken more time to tell you about my life that day. To connect more with you, but I didn't.

I had no way of knowing that would be the last time I would see you perform for many years. Not long after that, my finances took a major hit, and I moved to NJ, making trips to Broadway a bit harder to accomplish. So, I wasn't able to see you in Waitress or Hello, Dolly. But, man, did I want to. I did have the chance to watch clips of you in these shows and bask in the glory of your singing voice and stage presence, even if it was from afar.

I started to understand myself more clearly and made friends who helped me find an identity that made sense to me. Then, 2020 hit, and I suffered quite a few losses in my family. I struggled to keep my head above water, but my queer friends reminded me that there were things worth living for. Through these friendships, I started to find my way out of the mess I was in and found joy in musical theatre again. I started to listening to your personal music and the cast albums of your shows. It wasn't the only music I listened to, but it helped me get through the most.

Then, Into the Woods happened. By this time, I had started to be a co-leader in a local Tri-State Queer group. We would all get together and talk about TV, Broadway, Music, and Movies. It was so rejuvenating. A group of us got tickets to see Into the Woods on Broadway, but I couldn't be part of that due to finances. However, my best friend works for Ticket Philadelphia, so he promised that I could go with him when it came to Philadelphia on tour.

And that brings us to the close of this letter. I got to see you exude that joy all over the stage one last time in Into the Woods on Tour. It was one of the best nights of my life. Your performance of Agony will live on in my memories forever. As will your performance of I Believe in The Book of Mormon.

I never got around to telling you this in person, so I will say it now: Thank you so much for all the moments in my life that your presence or your voice got me through. Your passion for life and love was always awe-inspiring, and it's what I will carry with me through the years. We all deserved to see you do so much more in the world of Broadway, musical theatre, and beyond. Life truly is unfair, but I'm grateful for what I was able to experience with you.

Rest easy, dance often, and spread your sunshine from the beyond.

Mads

[henghost]

Twig Liveblog for Arc 18

what a banger arc let's fucking gooo. so many good infante sections, which is the most important part of any arc. just waltzing around in the plague. he's so cool. it's hard for me to really see him as the "antagonist" because i am always 100% behind him and whatever he wants to do. when he shoved a parasite down lillian's throat i was like, i wish that were me so bad. moans loudly.

good to get some yuri in there too. ugh i love mary/lillian together. i think, through biopunk technology, they need to figure out how to get each other pregnant. the same applies for sy and jessie. this would symbolize the completion of their respective character arcs.

i think my favorite part, though, was the fairy tale experiments. man it really puts so much in perspective. it recalled the sequence in gravity's rainbow wherein captain blicero holds katje and gottfried captive and forces them to act out an obscene sadomasochistic version of hansel and gretel. or the correspondence between the powerful financial executive jes staley and one jeffrey epstein:

there are the omelas ethics of it, of course. the little speech from ferres defending it on the basis of receiving funding in exchange, for instance, was chillingly familiar. but there is also some insight about the function of a ruling class. you will be violently mutilated into the shape of some simplistic archetype so as to become a point of data to research, so as to become a toy for despots. one of the most heartrending moments is when bo peep refuses to undergo surgery to fix the mutilations made by the academy, as though to live with the identity assigned to you by your overlords is simpler, easier, than to deal with the chaos of non-identity. the big bad wolf script--in this case pheromone-scented keywords with the purpose of total control--is some of the best prose wildbow has written imo.

i think betty is (yet another) lillian surrogate. there is something so banal in her cruelty. one of the things i've really admired about twig is how the "coming-of-age" is also a kind of political journey. the revelation that it is not the nobility who is really in power but instead the academy mirrors the movement of the young political person discovering that, despite appearances, it is really the morbidly boring death-cult of liberal technocracy behind all the solipsism and agony. ferres deserved worse lol.

i also enjoyed sy's patrick bateman-style switch to third-person. again, i'm really impressed by the effectiveness of this "fracture." there are some truly haunting scenes, scary nameless children running underfoot--it really got to me in a way that some of wildbow's other "horror imagery" simply doesn't. there's so much to say about the splitting of his SYche... perhaps i'll reserve my thoughts for a longer dedicated post about it...

twig is so good!! it continues to be mature, affecting, ambiguous, insightful. even... experimental. hahahaha. wildbow can write well sometimes wtf??? i don't believe it, frankly.