#but I've liked Betty longer so
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"Catch me if you can!"
Betty Jetty is my favorite female villain i swear I love her so much
#poptropica#poptropica fanart#fanart#super power island#betty jetty#honestly its between her and baron#but I've liked Betty longer so
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the 1
Elriel, Azriel x Archeron!Reader
Alternate Endings: Gone | betty | The Prophecy
mini-series masterlist | ACOTAR x reader masterlist
Story Summary: All you had ever wanted to be was plain. And now, as a plain-faced High Fae, you want more. You want your mate.
Warnings: mentions of self-harm, self-loathing, suicide
Words: ~2.6k
Author's Note: I'm sorry. (I told you guys I've been having a rough week...) Apparently my brain is saying 'fuck Kinktober!' Even tho like. I WANT to write those... smut just doesn't feel in the cards for me today 😩 so have some tasty tasty angst instead. (I'm also watching an Eras Tour live so I'm hella cheered up now lol)
18+ only pls
🤍💙🩷💙🤍
Self loathing grew in your gut as you watched your family around you.
All of them were happy, reveling in the togetherness that they shared.
And your mate- your mate- was ignoring you. He was speaking to one of your sisters, absolutely enamored with her. And you couldn’t blame him.
Elain had always been the pretty one of the four of you, a shining diamond even in the filth of poverty.
Nesta was the one with regal beauty, her sharp eyes and the way she carried herself not letting anyone think otherwise.
Your twin, Feyre, was stunning, even if she herself had never seen it, the cleverness in her eyes and quiet grace drawing people’s gaze to her.
And then there was you.
You were… the ugly one. Your mother had said so, even though you were only a child when she passed. Your father had quietly agreed with her. Nesta had mocked your looks when she had had a bad day, which was nearly every day while you had been living in the run down hut after your family lost their fortune. Elain said nothing, but shot pitying looks at you when no suitor asked for a dance while you had still been human, even when it had been a ball thrown in your honor for your birthday. Feyre has been the kindest to you, reminding you that it’s what on the inside that counts…
But that didn’t appear to be so.
Even with a mating bond that you knew should draw Azriel’s attention, his eyes were still glued to Elain. He seemed to be able to breathe only when in her presence, taking in the same air as her.
And in your presence? He couldn’t seem to get away fast enough.
Being dumped into the Cauldron had made both of your sisters even prettier, and Feyre was no exception either after being turned High Fae.
For you, it had made you plain. No longer ugly, unless you counted the still crooked teeth and too small nose and thin mouth.
Just plain.
As a human, you had begged to whatever higher power there was that you could just be plain.
But now that you were, you knew it would never be enough.
Because while Feyre was right, your personality mattered more in a long term relationship than your looks, being pretty drew people in.
Being plain only made you fade into the background.
Azriel laughed at something Elain had said, the sound sending warmth through your body.
It should be you making him laugh, not Elain.
Elain, with her beauty and poise and perfect personality and her ridiculously handsome mate who wanted nothing but her time.
Elain, who seemed to want no one and no thing but your mate.
Your Azriel.
You tore your gaze away from the couple, who you already knew were in a relationship. Elain had confessed it to you a month ago, gushing about how their fifth date had gone and how she thought he was the one. She had told you first, knowing that you wouldn’t tell anyone.
After all, who would you tell?
It’s not like you had any friends in Velaris- or in the human lands, for that matter- and your other two sisters were so preoccupied with their mates and growing personal circles that they hardly had the time to look at you, let alone talk to you.
No. You were alone. You were a lockbox for all of her secrets.
Including that she was planning to officially reject the mating bond once Azriel offered a proposal of marriage.
That had made you sick to your stomach, but you had hidden it deep, deep down in your heart as you congratulated her and faked happiness, asking her when she thought he would propose.
“Any day now, I suspect. Azriel told me that he was planning for the future, and wanted to know if I would like to be a part of it,” she had sighed dreamily. “We just need to tell the family, I know that… Rhys was worried about what us being together would mean for court relations. But he’s just being dramatic, don’t you think?” Her chocolate eyes landed on you, so filled with hope that you couldn’t tell her that he was your mate.
“Yes, he’s just worried, ‘Lain. I’m sure everything will be fine,” you managed to say, and relatively normal at that.
That was last night, and while your eyes had drifted to the carpeting, they shot back upwards at the sound of clinking metal on glass.
Your mate, standing with a flute of sparkling wine in his hand and a knife in his other, had his arm locked with Elain’s.
He cleared his throat once he had everyone’s attention, his eyes passing over everyone-
But you. His eyes skipped over you, even now, with the bond flaring in your chest.
“Elain and I have something to announce, though Rhys already knows what it is.” You heard a hand slap against an arm, Rhys’s faked moan of pain, and Nesta scolding her mate. Azriel smiled at their antics, such a rarity on his face that your heart skipped several beats, leaving you lightheaded.
It most certainly wasn’t because of what they were announcing.
“Elain and I have been dating for the past two months, and we would like to make it official with you all now. In fact, the two of us will be moving into a cottage in town later in the month, and we would like to invite you all to join us for a housewarming party in two weeks.”
The inner circle broke into cheers around you, Cassian immediately encasing his brother in his arms and clapping him on the back.
“Congratulations, brother! I know you’ve waited a long time to find love.”
You remained seated where you were, offering a smile to the happy couple but staying put.
If you stood, you were sure to faint. Or be sick. Or both.
Nesta was the only other person who remained where they were, a skeptical look on her face.
“I hate to be the person to bring the party down…” She started, her voice weary. “But what of your mates? Haven’t you wanted one for your whole life, Azriel? What will happen when you find her?”
“If I find her, I will reject the bond, Nesta. My love for Elain eclipses that of what I thought possible, even with a mating bond. Nothing and no one will ever compare to your sister,” Azriel answered, which seemed to be enough to have Nesta’s approval, as she stood and made her way to the couple.
“Then I’m happy for the both of you. But if you ever hurt my sister, you will deal with me,” Nesta warned, ice in her tone.
You didn’t stick around to hear what came next.
Nothing and no one will ever compare to your sister.
And of course, he was right. How could you compare to Elain?
She was beautiful, yes, but she was also a perfect match for Azriel. Kind and caring, always ready to help people, not to mention she would be a wonderful mother.
And then there was you. Plain. Boring. Nothing special.
Even the Cauldron hadn’t thought anything of you, leaving you with a High Fae body but no magic to speak of.
You couldn’t even fathom why you had been made Azriel’s mate when Elain was such a wonderful pairing to him, and had the magical abilities to match.
You stumbled your way to the town house, where you had taken up residence once Feyre and Rhys had finished the river house. Once inside you quickly made it to your room and shucked off your clothes after locking the door.
Bare, you stood before the mirror and assessed yourself. It was a habit you had picked up once your family had regained their fortune after Feyre had been stolen away.
One that brought you no comfort, but you needed to do.
Your physique was fine, you had filled out in the past year of being fae.
But there was nothing… special about you. You were medium height. Your chest was a bit smaller than average. Your legs were on the shorter side, making your torso look too long.
And your legs… they were covered in small white scars.
Another habit that you had picked up, this time after turning fae.
And tonight would be no different.
You suppose the one saving grace of being turned fae was your quick healing, letting you destroy your body without anyone knowing.
And no one ever would, seeing as your mate was on his way to being married to your sister.
A sigh left your lips as you turned to your bed, fishing the small blade you kept underneath out from below the mattress.
Tonight would be no different.
Except now you knew that even if you confessed your bond to Azriel, your heart would be torn to shreds no matter what.
🤍💙🩷💙🤍
It was two months later, during Starfall, that your world crumbled further.
You had donned a plain dress in a midnight blue, with long flowing sleeves and reaching your feet. You had opted for flats, seeing as no one would pay you enough attention to notice if you were in heels or not.
No, no one would notice you at all.
Because Azriel had a ring in his pocket.
One that you had given him advice on, to choose something Elain would love.
A glutton for punishment, that’s what you were as you gazed at the beautiful couple, clad in matching blue outfits and beaming at one another.
You had attempted to stay home that night, only for Azriel himself to personally fly you up to the House of Wind, insisting that you needed to be there for Starfall.
You knew he meant their engagement, though.
He hadn’t even glanced your way once last Starfall, so you knew it wasn’t that you would be missed by him.
Still, you stood on one of the balconies, watching them. Waiting for the moment that your life would be forever altered, never to have a great love.
Because truly, your one chance at a great love was a mating bond. You knew that no one would choose you to spend their life with, not when you were so plain and boring with nothing to draw people in, to get to know you.
They were dancing together, so wrapped up in each other that it was painful to watch.
And then your feet were moving, leading you straight to them. You met them right as the song finished, the two of them just inches apart.
It stung.
“Azriel, may I speak to you for a moment?” You asked without realizing the words had left your mouth. “Alone, please? It will just be a moment, I promise.”
You cringed at yourself.
What were you doing?
Azriel glanced down at Elain, who nodded with a smile. “Of course. I’ll be right back, sweetheart,” he said softly, placing a gentle kiss to Elain’s lips before following you back into the House, away from the commotion.
“What’s this about, Y/N?” Azriel asked in a clipped tone once you were alone, anxiously glancing back to where you had left Elain.
“I…” You hesitated, the words catching in your throat. Are you really going to tell him?
“Well?” He asked impatiently, his shadows swirling around him.
“I… I’m your mate,” you said, the words rushing out all at once, and your tore your eyes away from his face and to the floor.
“You’re… You’re joking, right?” Azriel asked incredulously.
A dagger of ice to the heart, crafted of your own yearning and longing for him, for your mate.
“No, I… It’s true, Azriel. I am your mate.” Your eyes flicked back up to his face after you said it again, but you wished you hadn’t.
Anything would be better than seeing the horror in his eyes, the disgust twisting his features.
The dagger, forced in further by a hand smacking the hilt.
“You?” Azriel laughed. “Why would the Cauldron make you my mate?”
Twisting, bleeding, shredding your soul apart even as you felt the bond flare to life on his end, the very slightest stumble as he regarded you.
“I… I don’t know…” You whispered, barely audible.
“You’re not my mate,” Azriel said, stepping away from you. “You were never going to be my mate. You’re a fine enough person, sure, but how could you compare to Elain?” He shook his head, snickering to himself. “I suppose these five hundred years of waiting were for nothing. I’ll tell Cassian or Rhys take you back to the town house. Just…” He sighed. “Don’t take it personally. It’s not you, it’s me, hmm?”
And with that, the bond between the two of you was shredded, a wounded cry leaving your lips as you sank to the ground, clutching your chest where it used to reside, glowing brightly and giving you a reason to go on.
“I think it’s best for you to stay away from Elain and I. I wouldn’t want you getting territorial and ripping my love’s throat out of anything. Goodbye, Y/N.”
You barely heard him walk away, so overwhelmed with pain.
Why me?
Why was I his mate?
Why didn’t I just drown in the Cauldron?
With a great deal of trying, you managed to hoist yourself back onto your feet, stumbling your way to one of the unoccupied balconies, still clutching your chest.
Your gaping, empty chest.
Because Azriel still had your heart. He had shredded it, mangled it beyond believe but it still resided with him, leaving you with nothing but a hole where it used to be.
Your legs crashed into the edge of the balcony, your hands flying to the stone to steady you.
But it didn’t help, everything was still spinning, blood rushing in your ears as your heart kept beating somehow, somehow still physically intact even as you felt it was being ripped from your chest over and over and over.
You couldn’t breathe.
You couldn’t live.
The very fact that Elain was so casual, so blasé about shredding a bond to bits had you questioning everything you thought you knew about your sister.
How could she condemn someone to this existence?
Because already, you weren’t living.
This couldn’t be living.
It couldn’t be.
You risked a peak over the edge, spying the sharp, jagged rocks below.
If you weren’t living now…
Before you could second guess your choice, you lifted yourself onto the balcony, letting your legs dangle for a moment.
Then you swung them over the stone, to the side that had nothing to catch you.
Well, nothing but the cold embrace of death.
Which at this point would be a welcome reprieve from the fiery hot grief flooding through you, grief at the bond that was never given a chance, a moment to be considered.
But perhaps that was all the consideration you needed. To know that you would only have been a burden of mate to the male you had fallen for.
You took one last, jagged breath into your lungs before you slid off the smooth stone, air rushing past you and-
This must be what it feels like to fly.
General Taglist: @daughterofthemoons-stuff @lilah-asteria
#the 1#Azriel x reader#azriel x reader angst#elriel#archeron!reader#az x reader#Az x reader angst#azriel shadowsinger#azriel#acotar#acotar fic#angst#acotar fanfic#acotar x reader#mating bond#tato writes
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Adventure Time and Fionna and Cake Theory: The Victimhood of Simon + How the Series Might End
Prerequisite Watching for this Theory:
Adventure Time: Temple of Mars, Betty, Come Along With Me, Broke His Crown, I Remember You, Holly Jolly Secrets Part II
Gonna start this loaded theory with a bit of a hot take. I’ve never liked how Simon and Betty’s stories concluded in Come Along With Me.
For Simon, I’ve always had trouble considering Simon and the Ice King as the same person. Holly Jolly Secrets and I Remember You, the pinnacle of depicting the dichotomy of the two characters is built on us seeing Simon as suffering irreversible memory loss and how his loved ones can grow to accept that. The context is most apt when viewed as a metaphor for dementia, Alzheimer’s, or simply old age.
The scenes in which Ice King reacts so superfluously to characters desperately wishing for his old self to return are striking because of the cruel finality of his condition. Alternatively, the ones in which his loved ones hang around with him despite his condition are sweet in their own right.
One of my favorite Ice King scenes is in Broke His Crown where Marceline invites her girlfriend to meet her surrogate father.
Bubblegum: What's this?
Ice King: It's a present, to bribe you for coming over!
Marceline: You don't have to bribe us silly, we're here because we WANT to hang out with you.
Ice King: No one has ever said that to me before.
*snatches present*
Ice King: You didn't say no takebacks.
There was a real poignancy to depicting an old man with memory-loss slowly having people come to accept him and realize that he’s still a swell guy to hang around. It may be depressing to see this good person who was once so unconditionally caring into a buffoon who could forget your name so easily and turn on you in the flip of a coin.
But even he deserved love from others. And in time, as a result of that love, he did improve.
Which is why, even in Fionna and Cake, I find myself still disturbed seeing Simon in his normal state and Ice King completely erased from Ooo. It kills me that Betty and in extension, the show itself could not accept Ice King as he was and felt that his best course was to undo it all.
All of his experiences for 1000+ years all of a sudden no longer matter, and the acceptance of his peers no longer mattered as well. He's just back to who he used to be in a world where everything he's known is gone.
Happily ever after
Even worse, however, is remembering the wish that allowed Simon to be cured. The person who sacrificed her individuality to get that good person back, because she couldn’t accept reality as it was.
And I’m going to put a second hot take. A spicy one. Simon needs to take the fault in Betty's fate and Fionna and Cake (the show not the characters) seems aware of this.
Throughout Adventure Time, Simon Petrikov was never developed as a character. As far as the audience and the characters within Adventure Time knew, the only traits about Simon that mattered were: that he was intelligent, he was a kind man, and he loved Betty.
This wouldn’t really be a compelling character on its own, but when juxtaposed with the Ice King it’s a tragedy that he lost these traits. The compelling part of Simon was his victimhood to the ice crown and not really him as a person.
It’s why Obsidian’s version of Simon feels somewhat empty, he’s back to his intelligent, kind self but there’s no real hints to how he’s mentally adjusting other than that brief glimpse in Ice King’s robes again.
And he looks really weird in this special too. Color me surprised when Simon Petrikov reads out the problems I've had for years about his ending while also making Simon into his own person. In many ways it just completely redos what we see of him in Obsidian.
He's still a kind man but even he can't handle being so maladjusted to a world so beyond his time. He's still intelligent but his passions aren't reciprocated, and that seems to have always been the case even in the past. Rather than a guy who doesn't take shit from guys like Marceline's ex or a first responder to his daughter's problems, he's a normal guy unable to handle the threats of Ooo's world even after 12 years of living in it. Rather than singing to large communities in bliss, he's a lonely alcoholic who can't even relate to his fellow humans anymore. He loves his adopted daughter but there are even some days he can't muster the courage to be honest with her. And most importantly, he doesn't seem to know how to live beyond his curse or his loneliness.
His mutual obsession with Betty is the only character trait of his that's ever had some distinct flaw and with this new show, the writers must have finally found a way to tackle the subject further. Betty is ultimately a greater victim than Simon. She ends up in a far worse fate than Simon has ever been in. Perhaps more disturbingly, she willingly chose to strip herself of her individuality.
Fionna and Cake brings a contradiction to light about Simon and Betty’s seemingly perfect relationship. Simon and Betty's love is real and they do make each other happy. But there does exist a co-dependency that has worsened throughout the series as a result of their insecurity of letting a bad memory conclude their relationship. Betty's patterns are pretty clear throughout her tenure as Magic Woman but not too much with Simon. Not until now.
In Jerry, Simon stops Betty from pursuing her dreams because he didn’t want her goodbye to be his last memory with her.
In Betty, Simon rewrites history and inadvertently summons her to Ooo because he didn’t want Betty’s look of contempt to be his last memory of her.
And through all of Fionna and Cake, Simon has turned into a suicidal man willing to resummon GOLBetty regardless of the reasons she can’t see him again. All because he didn’t want her sacrifice to be his last memory of her. Despite the fact that Betty’s final wish was to keep Simon safe.
There's also this uneven power dynamic between the two. Simon was far more accomplished as a professor with PhDs even if no one took him seriously. Betty was just a student offering some help, knowing she wouldn't take any credit for helping.
I’ll preface that Betty is a consenting adult in the relationship and made many self-determined rash choices that Simon would never approve of with full context. We’ve enough scenes to show that Simon actively refuses Betty’s help if it means endangering her.
However, Simon’s perception of Betty and his own inadequacy did influence her personality for the worse. Fionna questions Simon on two occasions about how strange it was for “someone she just met to drop everything to go with you”. Even within the flashbacks Betty verbally describes her internal conflict between her individuality vs. her infatuation with Simon and the guy never picks up on it.
Whether he’s aware of it or not, Simon always ends up becoming the center of attention during Betty’s greatest life-changing events because he’s always suffering in some way. And sadly in-character, Betty always prioritizes him first because of how sorry she feels for him.
Simon: Just hold my hand to your face, this will be my… last sensation.
Betty: Don’t be a wimp, Simon!
I don’t want to be too hard on Simon, his suffering is cosmologically depressing. An undeniable tragedy that no one deserves to be alone on. It would be unfair to say he’s being dramatic about something most if not any human would ever go through. He’s not a leech for desiring help, especially from his significant other.
But I do think it’s important to point out that he does have a major flaw in not reflecting on the consequences of Betty’s choices.
Fionna: Damn, that’s romantic. So, you got on the bus with her?
Simon: Yup. Uh what? No. No. Why would I-
This is the reason this post exists. This is the show explicitly telling us that Simon has never really thought about what Betty lost because he thinks his love was greater than the passion Betty once had.
Let's go back to Betty once again for what is honestly the most justifiable takedown you could make of Simon's character prior to the miniseries.
As stated earlier, Simon opens a portal to ask for Betty's forgiveness with a few seconds on the clock. And in that time, he essentially just unloads a giant drama bomb, trauma dump of his suffering leading Betty to ask what she can even do without him. And if the plan went as it was, Simon would've just left her a hundred questions that she'd never have answered for the rest of her life.
Simon: Just know that I love you and I forgive you for leaving me. Author's Note: I dunno, isn't there something a bit off about how he worded this?
Now Simon didn't ask for Betty to jump into the portal, but he certainly was asking for it subconsciously. How else would he have expected a person who loves him dearly to act after this?
Taking any measures necessary and finding a way back together obviously. That's what he's doing too!
And reiterating again, this is the reason why Betty goes on her ego-suicidal quest. This is Simon's greatest mistake, his greatest moral failing as a person and he doesn't seem aware of this.
He’s not wrong that Betty lived happily with him. In spite of losing her dreams, Betty and Simon did love each other unconditionally. But he’s missing the bigger picture about how he could’ve been self-centered in deciding Betty’s fate for himself.
And maybe to stretch somewhat, I think even the quest to become Ice King again is somewhat motivated by his inability to live as anything more than a victim. Some of it is because the citizens of Ooo were being a bit inconsiderate about how much they liked Ice King yes, but Simon should be perfectly aware that Marceline, Betty, and now Fionna would be extremely concerned about him for doing this. Yet, he doesn’t really consider their feelings too much on the matter. He’s too used to the suffering.
Please have one scene with Marceline, I'd be sad if we don't get to see at least one.
This leads me to how I believe Fionna and Cake may rewrite Simon’s ending.
The key is in the episode Temple of Mars.
Upon rewatching the episode, I’m convinced that the Adventure Time cast had a greater plan with the Betty and Simon arc that just never came to be due to production constraints. A lot of Betty’s history and the deconstruction of her relationship with Simon in Jerry are surprisingly details that have already been told.
I thought it was an animation error that Betty’s glasses were different in Jerry but it turns out the continuity director is just that good.
The trip in six months, Simon stopping her, and the realization that Simon superseded her identity. Seeking independence from Simon is the lesson that Normal Man was trying failed to teach her.
Betty: I’ve spent so much time dedicated on Simon that I’m not even sure if there’s any “me” left anymore.
But the most telling detail is how Betty passes Normal Man’s test.
Finn: Even if you are a lost cause, she is not!
Betty: No, Finn’s right. You’ll thank me for this later past Betty.
In an alternate pocket reality, she changes her trip to the day before, preventing Simon from stopping her. And I think Simon will have to change fate once again to do the same.
If Simon comes to realize that he was the one who set Betty to her terrible fate, that all this time his rose-colored lens of their relationship had been detrimental then he could give her identity back. But it can’t be as simple as changing the moment Betty turns into GOLB or Magic Woman or even bringing her through the portal in Betty.
He needs to let Betty go on the bus. Alone.
It’s the only way for Betty to have her life back. If not for his Betty, maybe at least to save one in the multiverse doomed to the same fate.
They both need to cherish their time on the Enchiridion trip back when it wasn’t too late for Betty to go on the trip. Back when they were both equals and not tied to Simon’s needs.
Jerry is absolutely setting up something big with Simon and Betty’s relationship for next week and now that we’re going to the GOLB dimension, we’ll see how he remembers these moments again.
Personally, as someone who has been skeptical about Simon's peace for years, Fionna and Cake's second episode was like a sigh of relief. Simon hasn't found his ending yet, and my hope is that this epilogue will help me see the man happy without having to relive Betty's sacrifice for the rest of his life. Just like the rest of Adventure Time, it'll have to end with him cherishing the time he had with Betty regardless of the inevitability of losing that relationship.
PS. Isn’t quite strange that at one point in time, Simon sought after magic objects that ostracized him from the normal world and now, he lives in a house full of 1980s-1990s objects that ostracized him from the magical world? Maybe he was never really satisfied with where he was in the present.
PSS. I really wanted to write something on Fionna for the Ep 3-6 releases, and I still have the idea, but I couldn’t make it coherent due to how much my brain overthinks everything to the point of cognitive collapse. If there’s enough interest, I’ll go back to write it again.
#fionna and cake#adventure time#simon petrikov#betty grof#fionna and cake spoilers#adventure time spoilers#animation#art#hbo max#fionna campbell#theories#character analysis#discussion#petrigrof#golbetty#simon and betty
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Sweet Pea x Fem OC
Pt. 2
archie andrews twin sister, delilah, is fed up with him being overprotective. so when a cute serpent offers her an opportunity, she can't turn it down
Delilah hung onto him for dear life, terrified as they raced through the streets of riverdale. when they finally arrived at pops, delilah didn't think she had it in her to step off the bike. he pried her hands off him and helped her off. with her whole body trembling in fear she couldn't get the helmet strap undone. he once again helped her and took it off her head.
"i'm never doing that again," she said, flattening out her hair. he fixed a piece of her hair and gestured for her to follow him.
they walked through the doors and delilah surveyed the room for archie. he wasn't there.
"i'm gonna go wash my hands," she said excused herself. when she came back out, she came face to face with archie, veronica, jughead, and betty.
"hey girl," veronica said. "we were just about to sit down, do you wanna join us?"
"oh, no thanks V. i'm here with someone," delilah explained. "thank you for the offer though."
"o la la, does delilah andrews finally have a boy?" veronica asked.
"no," archie shot in. "no she does not."
"just between us girls," she whispered to veronica and betty. "kinda."
the girls all squealed at her admission.
"i don't wanna move to fast, and put labels on it, but i really like him," she lied through her teeth.
"well we won't keep you any longer," betty winked at her and started walking toward a booth.
"who?" archie demanded.
"none of your business," she walked away from him and towards sweet pea who was seated at the counter. when she took the seat next to him, archie sprinted across the room to them.
he ripped sweet pea out of his seat and they started yelling.
"what the fuck are you doing?" archie said.
"i'm here on a date," sweet pea responded.
"get away from my sister," archie shoved him and sweet pea shoved him back.
"you're being ridiculous," delilah said, stepping in front of sweet pea right as archie tried to push him again. she lost her balance and fell back into sweet pea hard. he caught her and rested his hand on her hip.
"don't touch her," archie said.
"i think i'll do what i want."
archie lunged at sweet pea but jughead held him back.
"sit down," veronica demanded. "leave her alone, archie."
"this isn't over," archie threatened before walking back to a booth.
sweet pea turned her around and leaned her back against the counter.
"not so bad, right?" he whispered. she shrugged lightly and he pulled her in for a hug. "is he watching?"
"mhm," delilah hummed into his chest. after a few seconds he pulled away slightly, their hips still pressed together. he looked at her carefully before raising his hand to her chin and gently kissing her.
"why him?" archie sat at his booth, fuming as he watched his sister.
"he's not without charm, archiekins," veronica said. "why are you so opposed to her dating anyway?"
"every boy in this town is an asshole," archie said.
"you live in this town," betty pointed out.
"i know."
"you're mainly upset because he's a serpent," jughead scoffed.
"yeah, jug. and he tried to hurt me. he showed up at my house and tried to fight me," archie complained. "why does he like her anyway? he hates northsiders."
"well, for starters, delilah is drop dead gorgeous. like even i've had thoughts about her," veronica admitted, resulting in a disgusted look from archie. "but, also, she's kind. she doesn't judge the southsiders, at least not outwardly."
"i think it's sweet," betty said.
"how? how is that sweet?" archie asked, slamming his fork down.
"he's willing to fight for her. he must know she doesn't date because you don't let her. just be happy for her, arch," betty explained.
"it just doesn't feel right," archie shook his head. "i can't shake the feeling he's using her to get back at me."
"not all serpents are the horrible people you make them out to be," jughead chimed in.
"can you blame me for thinking that?" archie practically yelled.
"i guess not. i'll talk to him," jughead told him.
"thanks jug."
archie watched as they left the diner and the only thing stopping him from following them was veronica sitting on the outside. but when he saw sweet pea hand the helmet to her he practically shoved her out and raced outside, his friends not far behind.
"absolutely not," he yelled. "she is not getting on that."
"calm down," veronica said.
"no, ronnie. a date is one thing but she can't get on that. she'll get hurt," he said. "i bet that's what you want though."
"excuse me," sweet pea stepped close to him.
"you heard me. i bet you're just itching to hurt her to get back at me."
"there's something wrong with you," sweet pea bit back.
"come on," she pulled sweet pea back. "he's not worth it."
"let's go," he mounted his bike and delilah followed him.
archie watched in anger as they rode away. he stormed back into pops, slammed money down on the table, and started running back home. when he got home, he went straight to delilah's room, but she wasn't there. he ran back down the stairs and found his dad in the kitchen.
"has 'lilah come back home?"
"no, i don't remember seeing her come in," fred responded. archie went back upstairs and called delilah. she didn't respond.
"god, he's annoying," delilah whined, putting her phone back in her pocket.
"i know," sweet pea said. they were sat on the edge of sweet water river, completely alone. "why doesn't he let you date?"
"i'm not really sure," delilah admitted. "something about all the boys being awful, i think. but i don't believe that."
"that's weird."
"i think he's trying to protect me, i mean he wouldn't ever leave my side growing up. but ever since he started dating veronica, he's been leaving me alone more, thank god."
"it still doesn't make sense though. you'd think he'd want you to have a boyfriend so he could protect you," sweet pea pointed out.
"i gave up on trying to understand my brothers mind a long time ago," she put a hand on his shoulder and sighed.
they sat there in silence, watching the river flow, for what felt like eternity before delilah spoke.
"it's getting late," she whispered. "it's dark and i'm cold."
"take my jacket," he took off his serpent jacket and handed it to her. "i'm sure your brother would love that."
"take me home," she said, snatching the jacket from him and pulling it over herself. she was practically drowning in it.
hé drove her back home and walked her up to her door. it wasn't that late but delilah didn't want to risk waking anyone up. she slowly crept up the stairs and entered her room. she found archie sitting on her bed.
"why him?"
"he asked me out," delilah said, crossing her arms.
"and you thought i would be okay with this?"
"archie, i have had enough with you thinking you can control my life. he likes me, and i like him. i'm not gonna let you ruin yet another relationship for me, i just won't," she was trying to be stern with him, but not be too loud. "now get out of my room," she pointed to the door.
"im not done with this," he said, heading for the door.
"yes, you are, archie. seriously leave me alone, you've done enough to hurt this family, dont add this to the list of things you'll be apologizing for for the rest of your life."
#sweet pea riverdale#riverdale fic#riverdale fanfiction#riverdale#sweet pea#sweet pea x reader#archie andrews#betty cooper#veronica lodge#jughead jones#fanfiction#fanfic#southside serpents#southside#northside
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Winter's Night
AKA frosty old man yaoi
I've been thinking a LOT about the newest Fionna and Cake episodes... i'm not sorry
AU where the Candy Queen never shows up and the F&C gang hang out in the winter kingdom for a while longer.
Excerpt:
He didn't know why, but Simon approached his double as he played away on the piano. Then again, in the Winter King's world, wasn't he the double?
"Yes?" the King asked, not even turning around. Simon paused, his bare feet seemingly stuck upon the frozen floor.
"I..." Simon came to the terrible realization that he didn't know what to say. Or why he'd even come here, following the other Simon's music, "I couldn't sleep."
+++
It'd been a day since they arrived in the Winter King's world. Or two now, given that it was the very early hours of a new day. The sky outside the vast halls of the castle were dark and misty, the moon tucked away in a blanket of pale clouds.
Simon let his fingertips glide over the chilly windows, the pads of his fingers catching on not even the slightest bump or rough patch of ice. Everything in the castle, everything in the entire kingdom, was so perfect.
And this left him restless. More so than the strange scarab man that'd been following them, who was still thankfully trapped in a chunk of ice. If the Winter King's estimates were correct, the duplicate crown would be completed within just seven days of the process beginning. And then Simon would be pulled back into a dizzying, eternal labyrinth of madness.
Not eternal, he reminded himself. He promised to show you how to tame it.
To tame the crown. Simon had tried so many times to do just that only to fail in his own world. Even with the proof right before his eyes, he didn't know how in God's name he was ever going to become like the other Simon.
Which was why he was here, being chased through the silent halls by his thoughts. Somewhere in the haze of memories that belonged to the Ice King, Simon remembered being restless. With all that magic, the Ice King was far more energetic than he ever was. And maybe it'd rubbed off on him.
As he turned a corner, Simon paused at what he thought was the sound of wind. Or maybe not wind, but a whistle? No, wrong again.
it was the high notes of a piano coming from far away.
Finding himself no longer entrenched in his thoughts, Simon made his way toward the sound, unsurprised to find his doppelgänger tapping away at a cerulean piano.
The Winter King was out of the suit he wore during the day, instead dressed in loose robes in brilliant hues of pale white and sapphire. Seems like Simon wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep.
He lingered in the entryway to the throne room. The other had his back to Simon, playing a soft but cheerful tune. He didn't yet know he had an audience and was instead playing a concert for himself. Exhaling, Simon closed his eyes and searched for anything familiar in the Winter King's music: a scrap from one of the songs he and Marceline used to make up when she was little, the melody to the Cheers opening, those old Broadway tunes Betty used to hum while she read.
Nothing. He opened his eyes.
He didn't know why, but Simon approached his double as he played away on the piano. Then again, in the Winter King's world, wasn't he the double?
"Yes?" the King asked, not even turning around. Simon paused, his bare feet seemingly stuck upon the frozen floor.
"I..." Simon came to the terrible realization that he didn't know what to say. Or why he'd even come here, following the other Simon's music, "I couldn't sleep."
Before he could apologize and leave, WK, as Fionna had taken to calling him, turned and smiled over his shoulder. He sat to one side of the piano bench, a clear invitation. Feeling as if he couldn't excuse himself at this point, Simon took the offer and sat beside him.
"Oh, dear," the Winter King said, looking down, "Your poor feet!"
"Huh?" Simon followed his gaze. Yes, his feet were looking a bit discolored. They'd taken on an ashen hue and as he flexed his toes, Simon was a bit surprised to find them quite numb.
"What happened to your complimentary slippers?" Winter King asked. He clapped his hands and those two girls, the Ice Scouts, came out of nowhere with a fresh set of plush, white slippers. Simon could hardly utter thanks before they jet off to leave them alone.
Nevertheless, he slipped them on. He, along with the others, had been given very large guest rooms in the castle well stocked with warm, winter clothes. But when Simon climbed out of bed, sick with his thoughts, he'd taken a white robe and nothing more.
He fought the urge to laugh at himself. "Truth be told, I sometimes forget that the cold can hurt me."
He spoke as if this were still a recent development. But the last ten or so years as Simon were nothing compared to the thousand spent as Ice King.
A hand fell upon his shoulder. The other Simon at least didn't stare at him with pity. Just that sort of self-assured confidence that was, admittedly, entirely earned.
“Well, not to fret! Soon you won’t have to worry a thing about the cold.”
The Winter King laughed at his own words, his hand becoming a firm, reassuring touch on Simon’s shoulder.
Kingly, his mind supplied, Yes, that was the only way to describe this exact blend of pride and poise. Simon suppressed the sudden shiver that tickled his spine.
“Tell me, do you play?” Winter King asked, gesturing to the piano.
“Oh, I… do.” Simon said. He’d let his musical interests fall to the wayside in recent years, but yes.
Winter King sat up straighter as he clapped his hands. “Then how about a duet?”
And who was Simon to deny his kindly host?
He rolled his shoulders and began a slow song. The keys were a little lighter than he’d expected, the sound a bit shaper, making his first few notes louder than he would have liked. But neither said anything as his playing even out.
And soon a second set of hands joined him on the keys.
“It’s been a while since I’ve had a partner,” Winter King said, taking Simon’s hesitant song and breathing some more life into it. His fingers danced across the piano with far more confidence, taking what Simon started and making it much more his own.
It was a beautiful song though, as was everything the Winter King touched. And it far out paced Simon’s rusty skills. He paused once he felt that he could no longer keep up.
“You play very well,” he said, smiling politely. Hands hovering over the keys.
Winter King beamed. “And you simply flatter me.”
He tapped Simon on the nose, making him blink in surprise. The Winter King edged closer, shrinking the space between them until their knees bumped and their thighs touched. Simon moved on instinct to give them both more space but found himself already at the edge of the bench.
Winter King studied him with that ever-cheerful expression. “You seem tense, my Simon.”
“Ah, well…” he adjusted his glasses. “A lot on my mind, I suppose.”
Without missing a beat, “And if I could help with that as well?”
Simon blinked and without warning, found them so very close together. The Winter King was leaning over him, making use of his superior height to bear upon him with an eager smile. But it was just so sudden, so much that it left him reeling.
“I’m terribly sorry,” Simon said, standing, “But you’ve already done so much for me, for us, that–”
A hand reached out and grabbed his wrist. Simon did finally shiver, a little jolt going up his arm.
Winter King rose, still holding Simon’s wrist. At his full height, he was the picture of grace, yet the hairs on the back of Simon’s neck stood on end. Winter King took Simon’s wrist in both hands, raising it, and…
And pressed a kiss to the back of his hand.
His breath caught in his throat. Even the Winter King’s lips were as cold as ice.
A stray memory resurfaced in his mind, of something Cake said when they first arrived.
“Kiss each other!”
Which he would’ve brushed off as nonsense if it weren’t for what the Winter King said in response.
“Don’t think it hasn’t occurred to me.”
But the inhabitants of Ooo, of most variants of Ooo, were all just a bit silly and strange, weren't they? Simon thought that surely the Winter King meant nothing by it.
Until now.
“It’s been quite a long while…” Winter King began, “Since I’ve had a partner.”
He met Simon’s gaze with unflinching sincerity.
Meanwhile, Simon’s brain was being tossed back and forth between denial and shock. And perhaps a third emotion which he couldn’t yet describe.
He cleared his throat and tried to find his voice. Simon said, “N-now look at who’s flattering who.”
But his meek attempt at humor fell flat. Winter King acted as if he hadn’t even heard it, still holding Simon’s hand. He even wrapped an arm around Simon’s waist, palm pressed against the small of his back. Despite his night clothes and the robe, he still faintly felt that icy touch.
The Winter King said, “My Simon, tell me. How long have you felt so lonely?”
And he shuddered at that. It wasn’t as if he’d disclosed his own sour past to the Winter King. At least, not in full detail. He hadn’t brought up his sad life as a living relic on display, or the use of magic creatures as batteries for his spells.
Or just how empty the world felt. How empty he felt.
“How did you-”
“I can see it plainly,” Winter King said, “I can see it on your face. I see it because I once felt it myself, before I built this wonderful world of mine.”
Again, the space between them was slowly closing. Simon’s body was still ringed by the arm keeping him in place.
Winter King asked softly, “Who better to be at your side than I? And you at mine? Why don’t I assuage that ache you feel?”
And Simon could have said a million things in response.
You don’t want me, I’m just an old man.
I don't feel the same way.
But Betty–
I can’t.
Don’t.
No.
Please…
Simon said not a word as another frigid hand took his chin and tilted his head back. He merely shut his eyes and let the breath be stolen from his lungs. The Winter King smelled of pine and frost.
He tried not to shiver. And he also tried not to think of Betty.
That was rather easy. Betty had been human and warm.
And everything about the Winter King was cold. Cold, but clean and polished and beautiful. Not only that, but willing and wanting.
When the Winter King pulled away, lips parted and eyes partly lidded, he hummed in delight and seemed not the least bit interested in stopping. His cheerful demeanor was gone now, his hold on Simon’s waist growing tighter.
And Simon finally identified that third emotion he felt, a kind of fearful longing. In his world, he had grown to hate snow and ice, even rejecting it in his drinks. But he couldn’t deny how familiar it was.
And try as he might, he couldn’t run from how a part of him still ached for it.
So he relented, leaning into Winter King’s touch with silent acceptance.
He said nothing and put up no resistance as the Winter King pressed him against the piano, a wave of discordant notes filling the throne room as he leaned his body into Simon’s and held him and felt him and took from him.
The cold, once again, was such a great and terrible thing.
#fionna and cake#simon petrikov#the winter king#simoncest#i love this old man#and his hotter taller more deranged counterpart#fionna and cake spoilers#gets a little slutty at the end
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Summer Fling
Request: Yes / No Hi, I'm a new follower so I don't know if you accept requests, but I've been OBSESSED with Sweet pea. Unfortunately my Riverdale phase came back, since then I've been creating imagine scenarios with Sweet Pea, well, more specifically, Sweet Pea having a "summer fling" with a reader who has the appearance and personality of Liv Rooney and was super friends with Betty or Cheryl (and it would be as if Josie didn't exist or had never been involved with Sweet Pea but the reader) Anon
Don’t be shy, request things! <3 Have a nice day/night
Sweet Pea x Fem!Reader
Word count: 776
Warnings: Nothing really, sad ending I suppose?
Y/N: Your Name
PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK!
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(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)
The summer in Riverdale was supposed to be ordinary. Lazy afternoons with Betty, trips to Pop’s, and avoiding the Southside drama that always seemed to creep into the picture. I hadn’t expected it to be anything more than just a short break before heading back to my life in the city, but then I met Sweet Pea.
It started at one of Cheryl’s infamous bonfires. Betty had convinced me to come, saying it would be ‘fun and totally safe.’. I wasn’t so sure about the safe part, especially when I spotted the Serpents hanging around the edges of the firelight, their leather jackets catching the glow like something out of a movie. Sweet Pea was with them, leaning casually against his bike, arms crossed, and smile tugging at his lips. I saw him around before, mostly in the background of Betty’s stories about Riverdale’s chaos, but we never talked. That night though, he noticed me. When our eyes met, this spark, a flicker of curiosity in his dark gaze, made my heart skip a beat.
“You don’t look like you’re from around here.” He said when he finally approached me. His voice was low and teasing. I raised a brow, trying not to let his intense stare throw me off.
“And you don’t look like you talk to girls who aren’t from around here.” I shot back, folding my arms. To my surprise, he laughed, a genuine sound that made the butterflies in my stomach stir.
“Fair enough.” He said, holding his hand out.
“Names Sweet Pea.”
“Y/N.” I replied, shaking his hand and feeling the warmth of his touch linger a little longer than it should have.
That was the beginning of it all. Sweet Pea wasn’t like the guys I usually hung around. He was bold, a little rough around the edges, and completely different from what I expected. But there was also a softness to him, hidden beneath his Sperpent persona and the smirks, I couldn’t help but be drawn to it. Our ‘fling’ started with stolen moments, late-night drives on his bike, secret meetings at Sweetwater River, and whispered conversations under the stars. He showed me a side of Riverdale I’ve never seen before, the hidden beauty in the chaos, and I showed him that there was more to life than just surviving.
One night, we snuck into the movie theater after hours and shared a thing of popcorn he had somehow managed to swipe from the concession stand.
“So, what’s a girl like you doing in a town like this?” He asked, his tone playful.
“Visiting my Grandma.” I smiled.
“And maybe having the time of my life with a guy who’s way cooler than he lets on.” Sweets raised an eyebrow, leaning in closer.
“Cooler than I let on? You sure about that?” I laughed, pushing him lightly.
“Don’t let it go to your head.” He smiled, a soft genuine smile that made my heart race.
“You’re different, Y/N, in a good way.”
“Good different?” I teased, though my voice was soft.
“The best kind.” He whispered, his gaze locking with mine.
As much as I tried to keep things light, I couldn’t help but feel something deeper growing between us. But we both knew it couldn’t last. I was only in Riverdale for the summer and Sweet Pea’s world was here, tangled up in the Sperpents and everything that came with that.
The night before I left, we met by the river, sitting on a blanket as the water glimmered under the moonlight. Neither of us said much, the weight of the inevitable hanging between us. Finally, Sweet Pea turned to me, his expression serious.
“I wish you didn’t have to go…” He said, his voice barely above a whisper. I swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears at bay.
“Me too, but we knew this wasn’t forever.”
“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck.” He muttered, his jaw clenching. I reached out, taking his hand in mine.
“This summer… it meant everything to me, Sweets. You mean everything to me.” He looked at me, his eyes filled with something I couldn’t quite place. Sadness, hope, maybe even love?
“You’re not going to forget me, are you?”
“Never.” I promised, leaning in and pressing my forehead against his.
“And you better not forget me either.” He pulled me into a kiss, slow and lingering. It was like he was trying to hold onto the moment as long as he could. When we finally pulled apart, he rested his forehead against mine, his hand cradling my face.
“Goodbye, Y/N.” He whispered.
“Goodbye, Sweet Pea.” I said, my voice breaking.
Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs-blog1 @lover-of-books-and-tea @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches28 @kmc1989 @drw0301bieber @lady-of-lies @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp @rachelxwayne @ready-4-fanfiction @madammarvellous-blog1 @emo-godess-loves-you @hiya-imthatgirl @mindsetjupiter @averysinclaire @mittelerde1999 @sweetest-peas @rousewriter @camiconfessions-blog @thecaptainsgingersnap @cenyddtheunicorn @jacksxsouthsideserpents @lover2448 @mamacobie13 @staygoldsquatchling02 @wanderlust-and-poetry @hiighdeex3 @ayeitsjaz @skeletalwolfcat @scarrasco1325 @reblogserpent @darkestbeforethedawn16 @fandom-princess-forevermore @will-noble-owns-my-ass @t-a-i-l-o-r-m-a-d-e @madebyleftovermuses @liz-owl
#fanfic#request#riverdale#riverdale imagine#sweet pea#sweet pea x reader#sweet pea imagine#sweet pea x fem!reader#betty cooper#cheryl blossom#southside#southside serpents#serpents
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Simon: So to bring back the magic and become Ice King again I have a few plans Fionna: Cool! What are ya thinking Simon: First, magic is made of having the right portions of Madness and Sadness in you Cake: What, wait? No, I mean, what? What?? Is this real? Simon: Yes, unfortunately Fionna: Um, that's a little weird but okay Simon: So, madness is not quite possible at this point. The Ice Crown is no longer around for me to just put it on and impose death of personality while it overwrites everything I am Fionna: Wait, hold on! It does WHAT Simon: The point is that this is no longer possible; the crown fused with its current wearer and I'm not getting that back. I don't want to, either, Gunter is a good boy and if he wants to be a horrible ice thing that's his business Cake: I gotta repeat myself. What?? Simon: Anyway, madness is likely inevitable for me because I'm sort of in the middle of a self destructive existential crisis, but you give me the idea you to are sort of in a hurry and believe me, you can't rush the collapse of your own sanity. I've tried. Fionna: Mr Petrikov I'm starting to be a little worried Simon: So I recommend we focus on sadness. That's easier to achieve and I'm already horribly upset about the fact that I don't belong anywhere anymore and never will, that I can't relate to either my people or my friends, and that without the madness crushing me all I have is the emptiness inside staring at me. So we can focus on that! Simon: I wrote up a dossier of all my most frail psychological weak points. I want you to recite them at me until I get so sad I explode into magic. Fionna, flipping through it: First of all, NO. Second of all, there's nothing written here. It's just 200 pages of you being used as a chair by that Betty lady I've heard about. Simon: Oh dang, wrong dossier! What I gave you was meant to be a to-do list after our wedding a thousand years ago. It... um. It, uh, never got to that point... Cake: I respect the enthusiasm for being who you are but you've been carrying that around for a thousand years? Simon: No way, books like that decay too quickly. I've been reproducing the book over and over. Fionna: WHY. I mean I get the appeal but why. Simon: Nostalgia, mostly.
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ive been thinking about your norm head cannons post ever since i first saw it. would you be so kind as to possibly gift a lad a longer post about norm w a plus/midsize partner 🛐 ofc you don't have to.
Shoot The Moon
Pairing: Norm MacLean x Plus/Midsize!Female Vault Dweller
Word Count: 30,213
Warnings: smut (18+), angst, pining, mild violence, discussion of arranged marriage, Norm MacLean's daddy issues, Hank MacLean is a piece of shit, neglectful parenting, love confessions, pregnancy talk, wet dreams, mild voyeurism, panty sniffing, masturbation (male), femdom, hand job, mentions of blow jobs, nipple play, cunnilingus, anilingus, hair pulling, scratching, praise kink, unprotected sex, unintentionally rough sex, mild cum play, creampie.
Notes: A hundred million thanks for the patience on this one, folks. It needed a little extra time to simmer, but I'm so happy with how it turned out. Honestly, this is one of my favorite things I've ever written. Can't apologize for the length; I know I originally described it as a "one-shot", but it's ended up more like "three one-shots crafted into a short story". It's a little slow burn in terms of the romance, but there's plenty of smut sprinkled throughout.
I guess you could technically consider this an AU or prequel work of sorts, as I've taken some liberties in establishing how Vault life works, etc. I hope y'all like it as much as I do! I'd love to write more for Norm in the future. His characterization took me a while to iron out, but I'm fond of my version of our petite heroine's even more petite brother.
Norman MacLean was painfully awoken by a throbbing headache as much as his usual alarm, a deep sigh escaping his lips.
It was an important day.
The entirety of Vault 33 had buzzed with excited energy for a full week now, an electricity that could be felt through the walls of his single's suite as he willed himself to rise from his warm bed. The lack of sunlight in the place he'd always called home made it incredibly easy to darken your room, which made getting decent quality sleep easier. However, it also made waking up in the morning a more significant chore than it needed to be, at least for the youngest member of the MacLean clan. His elder sister never seemed to have trouble getting herself out of bed in the mornings, but she never seemed to have trouble with a lot of a things that the smaller, younger man found himself struggling with.
The tile floor of the place was cold under his feet as he managed to rouse himself vertical, shocking him awake a few more degrees and sending him scrambling through his small dresser to yank out a clean Vault suit, along with a pair each of underwear and socks, which he yanked on as quickly as possible, nearly slipping and falling in his haste. He dragged out fastening his suit, yanking on and tying his boots after pulling them from their hiding place beneath his bed; he was in no hurry to report for duty as a member of the greeting committee.
Norm knew he wasn't greeting committee material; everyone else who would be in attendance knew it, as well, including his father, whose insistence was the only thing motivating him to be there in the first place. But he was the Overseer's son, a supposedly prominent member of their little ant colony, and people loved to talk, so here he was, forcing himself awake before he even had to report for work, all to welcome a bunch of people who wouldn't like him any more than the people he'd always lived around did. Fussing with his finicky hair in his bathroom mirror, fogged from the hot water in the basin beneath, he fretted over a toothpaste spot on his chest, hoping Betty or someone else wouldn't have a smart comment about it.
Moving into the small kitchen area to rummage for something to sate his early morning hunger, he moved up onto his tiptoes to grab a box of Sugar Bombs from the lowest shelf, easily jamming his fist into the box and eating a dry handful in silence. Checking the time on his Pip Boy, glowing at him from the kitchen table, he sighed as he clasped the thing in place around his forearm, casting one last glance around his place before heading out the door. His room was at the farthest end of the hall it sat in, somewhat isolated, so he had to give himself an extra minute or two to make it all the way downstairs to the place where you could access their sister Vaults.
He passed by the entrance to the kitchens as he wound his way down through the weaving corridors that made up Vault 33, a blast of warmth hitting him as someone exited and turned towards the dining hall, pushing a trolley stacked high with clean trays. A rather large part of him was grateful he no longer had to wake before the crack of dawn to drag himself into the oven-like cluster of rooms in order to wash mountains of dishes and vegetables, dice what felt like endless Cram, greasy and dense in his hands. The powdered egg and milk replacers also disgusted him to work with, but at least they had purpose, a key ingredient in almost anything people really enjoyed, baked goods especially. Besides, it wasn't nearly as bad as the InstaMash...he'd been neutral towards the potato flake slurry at best as a kid, but his time in the kitchen standing over giant, steaming pots of the stuff had made him truly hate it.
However, another, smaller part of him knew he disliked maintenance work just as much as he'd disliked working in the kitchen, just different aspects of it. The kitchen had been busy, gruelingly so on the wrong day, and everyone had always acted like he was in their way, but the work had been straightforward and regular.
Being switched into a maintenance position did allow him more freedom, true; he no longer even reported directly to anyone, simply worked, as one of several, through a provided list of tasks that never truly ended in order to keep the place clean and lit. However, much of the work was somewhat difficult for him, involved him climbing things he couldn't reach, struggling to complete tasks he wasn't quite made for.
At least no one was usually watching.
"Morning!" a cheery, familiar voice suddenly called from behind him.
"Morning." he replied, not looking over his shoulder, but pausing his steps just outside the entrance to the empty Overseer's office. His older sister trotted up alongside him enthusiastically, her high ponytail bouncing along with her steps.
"I won't ask if you're excited." she said facetiously.
"Well, I'm not not excited. I don't really care all that much. I just wish I didn't have to be there to greet them at the door. I don't have to work for, like, three more hours."
She chuckled at that as they descended a set of tightly wound steps, well beyond familiar with her brother's demeanor.
"Hopefully it won't take too long, then."
The two fell silent as they rounded the final corner, entering the small section of the end of the hall where the ad hoc welcome party had gathered: the Overseer, the members of the council, one or two older, more prominent citizens, and the MacLean children, all crammed together and ready to depart. Per usual, Norm was the only one who didn't seem explicitly enthusiastic, the space filled with early birds like his father and sister. The elder MacLean squeezed past Betty, who was deep in discussion with Woody about something unintelligible, and wrapped both of his children up into a quick hug.
"Good morning." he said. "Are we excited?"
"Of course." the siblings replied in unison, perfectly in sync, though one much more genuine than the other.
"Ooh, toothpaste." Hank sucked his teeth and gave the small white spot on Norm's chest a poke. "That's alright."
He immediately began wiping at the thing, trying his best to erase it further. Hank smiled in reply before turning to address the dozen or so other people milling around.
"Alright, everyone. We're about to make contact. Now, I know we all miss the folks we sent off last week, but let's keep room in our hearts to make new friends. I know things like this can be difficult sometimes, but they're all for the best. Please keep in mind that our new friends may be nervous to make such a big change. Be polite, be welcoming. Don't be nervous!"
There was a murmur of agreement from the small cluster of people before they all made their way deeper into the maintenance tunnels, funneling themselves into a thin line as they made their way closer to the antechamber where the Vaults connected. Lucy chatted excitedly with Betty and a few others, their voices echoing through the otherwise quiet corridor. As they descended a small flight of stairs, Woody accidentally bumped him, sending him stumbling precariously down the last step.
"Ah, sorry Norman. I didn't see you there." Woody said quietly, placing a quick hand on the smaller man's shoulder to help steady him.
"It's fine." he murmured back, righting himself to catch back up with the group.
They all convened in the boxy space, the only sound the hiss of some pipes as his father interacted with the control panel at the far end of the room. The indication light flipped to a bright green, and Hank resumed his place beside his children as they waited for the rather slow process to unfold. Something deep in Norm's chest was tight as the big, hermetically sealed door that separated Vault 33 from its attached counterparts let out a big sigh, rumbling and shifting as the mechanisms that held it taut against the concrete wall withdrew. He fidgeted with his hands in his place beside Lucy.
Slowly, painfully slowly, the larger cluster of people behind the door was revealed, staring back at them silently for a beat or two as the massive thing clunked its way into place.
"Welcome, everyone! Welcome!" the Overseer called, stepping forward to appraise the cluster of eyes staring back at him. An older woman, maybe a few years younger than Hank, stepped forward to the front, her face solemn, but not unkind. She introduced herself, but Norm failed to hear what she said, already turning his attention back to studying the cluster of vault-dwellers before him. He didn't see anything that caught his attention all that much, most of them too focused on the still-speaking pair to do anything interesting or revealing.
The group was largely young people, generally somewhere between sixteen and thirty if he had to guess. That wasn't surprising. That had been the deal, as he understood it; Vault 33 would send some of their glut of middle-aged men to the other Vault to help in beefing up their thinning security, and in exchange they would receive a number of younger people, mostly female, to beef up their thinning generational spread. Some of them clustered together, family members or already married couples, but around half the entire group seemed to be singles.
That'll be entertaining. he thought, watching as the unmarried members of the Vault council stared down their new compatriots.
However, when the older lady took a step back into her place with the crowd, she unveiled two younger women who he'd initially missed. The shorter of the pair cradled an open-top box of knickknacks in her arms, holding it tight to her chest anxiously, her dark hair tucked high and tight away from her face. She couldn't be more than seventeen or eighteen. Beside her, a taller woman, certainly not old enough to be her mother, but softly, wordlessly comforting her like one. He guessed an older sister, perhaps a cousin. Her face was hidden by the way her own hair hung loose in a dark curtain around it, but he was distracted for several long seconds by the obscured view of the rest of her. He wasn't the only one watching, though; there was a taller, broad man looming over her shoulder, but a few steps back; close enough to be familiar, but not close enough to be welcome, it seemed. Norm didn't have to look over to know that Lucy was likely staring at the guy as well.
The woman who'd stepped forward turned her head and muttered something to the two ladies. Maybe she was the mother.
"Well, I'd best let you all get settled in. It's a big day for everyone, a big day for our home! If anyone needs anything at all, you can ask any of the council members here, especially Betty. Everyone is excited to have you here, so don't hesitate." Hank said, gesturing to the older woman standing beside him. "You can also ask me, of course, or either of my children, Lucy and Norman."
Norm's eyes narrowed slightly at his given name, his best effort to not roll them skyward in front of everyone. He and his sister moved to stick to the wall as the group began to filter by, many of them greeting the two or shaking their hands as he tried his best to act enthused. The acting was a little less necessary when the woman who'd spoken made her way by, nodding politely to both he and his sister. Immediately, his eyes scanned the narrowing hall behind her to find her younger companions, and his heart sped up a bit when he found who he'd been looking for.
She had looked pretty, if mysteriously so, from a distance, but she was breathtaking up close. Younger than he'd initially thought, she didn't seem to be much older than Lucy, the girl beside her still fidgety and eyeing the floor as they walked along. The woman he was studying, however, lifted her head from her nervous companion as they passed by to smile kindly at he and Lucy, waving as they did. Her other hand rested comfortingly on the girl's arm; she stood head and shoulders over her, and thus over him. It took a great deal of effort to not let his gaze linger as she walked away.
Following shortly behind her was the tall guy who had been staring at her, still doing so as he went by, completely ignoring them as he did. The MacLean siblings exchanged a glance, but neither of them said anything as more people followed immediately behind.
For over an hour they were forced to hang around (though he doubted Lucy would see it that way), answering questions about facility locations, what sort of jobs were available, pointing people where they needed to go. He found the whole thing entirely draining, his energy generally uninviting; fortunately, his older sister was a nice balance to that, and drew people more towards herself. She knew he wouldn't be here if he'd had a choice.
Their presence also required participating in their father's anecdotes he saved for smaller groups of people, old jokes about Vault life and only-slightly-embarrassing family stories to endear people to him. To his credit, it worked like a charm. Fortunately, Lucy was front and center for these, and she was a natural in her role. She knew her lines like the back of her hand and her laughter was contagious, so she took the lead in being the poster child while Norm just sort of stood around in the background.
Eventually, most everyone had emptied out and they were able to begin the track back through the mildly claustrophobic pathways.
"I won't ask if you're excited." Norm teased as they made their way back towards 33 proper, a few stragglers exiting the tunnels ahead of them.
"Don't!" she scolded, but she smiled in a way that gave her away. She'd certainly had her eye on the tall guy who'd given them the cold shoulder, but he'd seen several guys among the crowd who fell right into her type, and he could feel the buzz coming off of her in waves as they slowly made their way back into the meeting hall.
For the last couple of years, his sister had had marriage pretty front and center on the brain. It made sense; she was social, loving, eager to show their father that she could be all the things that he wanted for her. She was far too good for any of the options she'd been presented with, however, and nothing had worked out for her thus far. Since they were children, Lucy had tried her best to be the perfect daughter, the perfect Vault girl, but at the end of the day, she asked too many questions, had too many opinions. The only person she'd ever even been close with was their cousin, and he knew personally that she rather regretted going down that particular road out of boredom.
He wasn't looking forward to having to hold Chet's hand through it when she finally did find someone.
Arranged marriages had once been a regular part of life in their trio of sister Vaults, families formed and fates decided based purely on numbers on a screen, predetermined factors that just-so-happened to line up. He understood the base logic behind the choice to set things up that way, the seemingly increased odds of successful reproduction between arranged partners desirable, especially in an endeavor held in such high esteem...if they were robots or livestock. For a project about preserving and reestablishing humanity on the surface, he felt there was a serious deficit of it in the way things worked sometimes.
Over recent generations, though, with the growing distance of time between them and the genesis of the Vault project, marrying for love had become much more common and accepted, to the point that arrangements were almost never even discussed anymore...that is, of course, unless you were an especially desirable (or undesirable) marriage candidate. Then, the old ways had a mysterious habit of re-materializing out of thin air. He found himself quite surprised that their father had never mentioned the idea of simply marrying Lucy to whoever fit her best, though, he also suspected that the match-ups they had on-hand were so undesirable that Hank had coordinated the entire personnel swap to "grease the wheels", so to speak.
But, of course, he'd never say out loud that he thought his father had brought in a whole new crop of young people just to help his sister find a husband.
The younger MacLean, on the other hand, secretly worried that he'd been placed into the latter category without his knowledge. His father spoke to Lucy about marriage often, discussing what sort of partner she should seek out for herself in order to have a successful family, describing the intricacies of marriage and mediating marital issues. He'd never mentioned it to Norm once, not really. For a long while, he'd chalked it up to his sister being the eldest, the first to "need" that sort of talk. However, as Norm crept into young adulthood, the subject was never really broached by his father. Increasingly, he felt his dad thought him incapable of getting someone to want to marry him, that being able to attract a long-term partner was just one of the many tools his son had missing from his belt.
Even more, he worried that his dad might be right.
"Well, I'm off. There's a leak somewhere that needs me, I'm sure." Lucy joked, interrupting his dour train of thought as they came to a stop at the intersection of a few walkways. "What're you up to today?"
"I'm supposed to keep around the dorms and stop them from being trashed by thirty-odd people moving in at once. So, naturally, I'm going to take a push broom through where all the new people are and be nosy."
His older sibling snorted, a typical response to his antics.
"Let me know if you find anything interesting." she replied before turning and making her way up the next flight of stairs, not leaving him any time to agree.
Norm kept his ungiven word, though, carefully noting anything that his older sister may have found interesting or prudent to know...chiefly, which of the young men she'd likely fancy were single and which of them had come already attached. He took his time sweeping through each hallway, making several rounds and gathering new information each time. Most of the apartment doors stood wide open, folks winding their way in and out of various rooms and making it somewhat difficult to determine who lived where. Many of his new neighbors seemed openly excited to be in their new home, but there was a palpable air of anxiety from many of them as the adrenaline began to wear off; he didn't judge them, as he figured he'd be more than a little nervous to be in their shoes.
As per usual, he disappeared effortlessly into the thrum of people carrying things, unpacking, exploring the facility, chatting all the while; not a single person acknowledged or spoke to him as he made his way back and forth along the winding corridors, not even the multiple Vault 33 natives he passed by who just so happened to be cutting through the area despite the fact that the dorms were quite out of the way. By the time he'd seen the fourth or fifth person, he rolled his eyes a bit; at least he wasn't being completely obvious.
Eventually, he noticed the older woman, whom he'd seen several times in various places, finally turn into a specific room instead of lingering outside observing, and after lagging behind for a moment he passed by the window, pleasantly surprised to find the curtains open as well. The younger girl was rifling through the cabinets in the kitchen area, everything about her reading much less tense than it had when he'd first seen her. Their guardian was out of view, but the bathroom curtain was drawn, and it relieved him somewhat, the absence of her watchful gaze allowing him to linger across the hall from the doorway and stare at the older of the two girls where she sat, cross-legged on the rug with her back to him. She'd piled her hair on top of her head in a messy bun, allowing him a peek at the soft skin of her elegant neck. For a minute, he completely abandoned the premise of sweeping, simply standing there, leaning on the broom in his grip and studying her as she fiddled with something, her head nodding along with a song he couldn't hear. Unfortunately, the curtain in front of her soon hissed back open, and he took off around the corner rather skittishly to avoid being perceived as a creep.
For quite a while, he took in the sights and nosed around, passing by a certain room more often than needed; the three women opened various boxes and bags, tucking away personal items and checking over the family-sized room they'd been assigned. It was one of the nicer units, same as the one he and Lucy had grown up in. Better rooms with more privacy were one of the benefits afforded to those who furthered the goals of the Vault, but Norm had lived in his own single room for several years and failed to see the appeal of rushing a relationship with a near-arbitrary candidate for bare-minimum material benefit.
There were peers of his, though, that had obviously decided that the deal was worth taking. They'd gush about the ways their lives would improve once they had families of their own, once they did their part for the Vault, for "America", something they didn't even necessarily have a true concept of, save for what they were taught as children, saw in movies, were told by elders who had been told by their elders, and so on. The whole thing lacked any real tangible qualities to it. He lacked enthusiasm for many things, but chief among them was an ideology that couldn't be explained better than pointing to a mural on the wall or simply claiming that "rebuilding is the whole point", whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. He'd never understood the desire to rebuild things just the way they had been before the bombs had dropped, before the war had changed everything forever. After all, what had really caused them to fall to begin with?
Something as massive as a world-ending war didn't happen in a vacuum. Maybe the real reasons behind it would be outside of his conception, issues of a bygone age that wouldn't translate intelligibly.
Wanting a family wasn't outside of his conception, though. As much as he had enjoyed the last several years of bachelorhood, virtually left to his own devices once Lucy had requested her own room, it felt increasingly empty. He'd told himself for a long time that he didn't have to get married or have children simply because that was "what you did when you became an adult" in the Vault. And that was true; he understood completely that he'd been raised in a way that shaped his views and desires as deeply as possible, and he understood that societal expectations weren't fatal to defy. But neither that knowledge nor all the intellectualizing of it he could muster could shake the feelings of loneliness and envy he felt as he watched more and more of his peers marry, saw them having and raising children and moving on with their lives. Even Chet, who was such a chicken around women that Norm was fairly certain he'd never actually been with one, was starting to talk about wanting to get married (maybe even to someone other than Lucy, which was the real surprise).
He had more trouble settling down that evening than usual, pelted with a million racing thoughts; his biggest distraction by far, though, was tracing the shape of a certain woman over and over in his mind, reliving the thrill he'd felt when she'd looked his way. When he'd woken with far more intense morning wood than usual the next day, he was chagrined, but not especially surprised; after all, she had been the very last thing he'd thought of before he'd fallen into deep unconsciousness. Taking care of the issue in a quick, sanitized fashion, he tried his best to not think of her, specifically. Unfortunately, his efforts didn't pay off as much as he'd hoped when he caught a glimpse of her standing in a long line outside of the Overseer's office, likely waiting for her new job assignment, and he was instantly so embarrassed that he turned around and completely rerouted, tripling the length of his walk to the maintenance section. Engrossed in conversation with the woman in line in front of her, she didn't seem to notice him, and for once, he was grateful for his social invisibility.
More significant shame started to settle in quickly when he was dreaming of her, though somewhat innocuously, almost every night after only a few weeks. Yes, he'd had crushes before, almost all of them on people he'd have no realistic chance with, but his brain had never chosen to fixate on a single woman before the way it had locked onto her. There was almost always some thought about her bouncing around in the back of his mind...or the front, depending on the moment. The amount of alone time he had when he was working was both a blessing and a curse, as occupying himself mentally was often his most arduous task, and the list of topics that interested him dwindled rapidly. It wasn't his fault she was new and genuinely fascinating, he told himself.
Soon, he was planning most of his day around getting chances to see her, gathering intel about her and her schedule in as innocuous ways as he could manage. She'd been assigned to the IT team, apparently more than competent in electronics repair and her ability to feel out issues with the Vault's internal electronics and communications systems. When he learned this, he'd made his way through the main IT office to sweep and dust, conveniently coming across the log of individual task assignments. The next day, he found himself on a ladder replacing light bulbs in the recreational wing when she came around the corner, components to fix one of the overhead projectors in hand.
"Morning!" she smiled as she passed by.
"Morning." he responded a moment too late, surprised she'd said anything. His heart raced so fast as she disappeared into the theater room that he had to climb down, nervous he'd manage to fall in his dizzy joy.
For quite a while, it seemed as if he wasn't the only person deeply affected by the influx of fresh faces. The "new toy" glamour was strong around all the recent arrivals, but she was high up on the list for discussion, in particular. Part of it was her height, naturally; she wasn't that tall, but she did stand at least eye-to-eye with a lot of the younger men, and it both scandalized and intrigued them, from how they spoke. Norm was grateful that he had long ago had to come to terms with those types of feelings. But she was also just captivatingly gorgeous, affable in a sincere way. Approachable, though that exact openness intimidated him more than he'd care to admit.
He hoarded information about her like it was his job, but you wouldn't have known it from speaking to him. When she came up in the conversations he found himself wrapped up in, chats with Lucy and Betty and his father, he put on the same air of polite, vaguely-masked disinterest that he usually wore. Though, when Chet asked about her, he admittedly stonewalled him a bit harder, pretending he barely knew who his cousin was asking about. The older the pair got, the more tired Norm grew of feeling like the slightly older man's only emotional support; he certainly wasn't going to spell out how to steal away a woman they both had their eye on. As far as he was concerned, Chet could find his own way.
For several weeks, he monopolized tasks around the dorm area, working later hours so he could be around when she walked through the halls to go home, sometimes accompanied by her sister or a friend. His own sister even joined the mix from time to time, eventually, though it was typical of her to sniff out others with an equal zest for life. He usually lingered out of the way despite how badly he wanted to actually talk to her, too afraid she would suddenly notice how often he was around. However, this particular habit came to a swift end when he rounded the corner towards her family suite one evening and found the older woman who lived with her camped outside, reading a book and leaning against the wall.
He'd learned that she was an aunt of the two younger ladies, one who had been unfortunate in that she was both responsible and unattached enough to be the person chosen to go with all the younger folks from 32 when they moved. Something told him that if he remained childless his whole life, he still wouldn't be burdened with an obligation like that; she made him feel skittish, her protective eye clearly set a little closer on him than he was used to, but he didn't exactly hold it against her.
Trying his best to keep his head low as he passed by her, eyes focused on where the long wooden handle of the push broom met the head, he nearly flinched when she spoke to him.
"Evening." she said, her own gaze not lifting from the pages that filled her hand.
"Hello." he replied diplomatically, giving her a polite nod.
"They've got you working awfully late, haven't they?"
He didn't respond to what she said, tripping over his own tongue as he continued to pass by. The only response that he could fumble for was a forced laugh, but the way she looked at him when she finally did told him quite loudly that she wasn't joking. Fumbling his way down the stairs, he ran the broom along the floor all the way back to maintenance in an effort to look busy as he tried to lower his heart rate. Lying on his couch in his silent apartment later, a weathered hacking manual cradled against his chest, he felt like he could turn himself inside out in pure mortification.
For a week or so, he avoided her as best as he could, convinced she would run screaming if she saw him, but he was too weak to stay away forever. After yet another slow day of dusting, floor polishing, and pushing a broom around the halls in hopes of catching a glimpse of her, Norm decided that he was in need of some genuine alone time somewhere where he wouldn't be bothered. As much as he enjoyed having his own room, he didn't enjoy being functionally unable to really lock the door.
The small utility closet was inconspicuous, tucked at the far end of one hall, away from the living quarters and around a corner almost no one ever took, save for the occasional person assigned to some of the maintenance tasks around the Vault. However, their hours were predictable, and the dinky little room had become somewhat of a place of refuge for him over the years, even before he'd been reassigned to maintenance himself. Since he was a boy, he'd steal away to this hidden place, spending as much time sat on an upturned bucket, studying various manuals and savoring the silence, as he thought he could get away with.
This day, however, it had only been a few minutes of peace before he could hear the telltale sound of someone fiddling with the lock. He'd taught himself how to re-seal it from inside, but it could still be picked from the outside by someone who knew how. Panicking for a moment, he sat frozen, gripping the systems terminal manual in his lap so tight he was afraid he'd rip the pages. There was nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. The only person who knew about his penchant for hiding away here was Lucy, and she wouldn't just barge in. She would linger down the hall, near the more common areas, waiting to see him emerge so she wouldn't draw attention.
Maybe he could lie and say he accidentally got locked inside.
However, his overthinking proved unnecessary when the door flung open and the very person whose visage he'd come here to escape stepped inside, her head peeking around the corner before she let the door close behind her. When she let out a deep sigh, leaning her forehead against the door, he realized she hadn't seen him tucked away in the corner, and he knew he needed to say something quickly.
"Uh, hey." he said lamely, slowly rising from his spot, setting the book aside.
She did jump, but when she turned and sees him, her reaction was more positive than he'd expected.
"Hi there." she replied, her eyes darting around somewhat awkwardly in what he guessed was embarrassment. "Sorry, I assumed this particular random broom closet would be unoccupied."
There was a bit of a pause as he took in what she'd said, leaving the two sort of shuffling back and forth as they stared at one another.
"Well, I guess you know what they say about assumptions." he joked, desperate to ease the weird vibe quickly filling the room. To his pleasant surprise, this earned a seemingly genuine chuckle from her, and the warm, sweet sound made him smile wider than he had in a long time.
"Well, my apologies. I can find another closet to hang out in." she smiled.
"Oh, please. Feel free to stay and take advantage of the luxurious accommodations as long as you'd like." he said, sweeping his hand in a grand gesture around the space, highlighting the stacks of boxes and shelves of janitorial supplies.
She outright laughed at that.
"You're the Overseer's son, right? Lucy's brother? I'm surprised I don't see you more."
There was a bitter taste in the back of his throat at her words, but he knew she was just making an observation to keep the conversation going,
"Yeah, Norm. I'm fairly practiced at blending into the background." he introduced, sticking his hand out in front of him rather awkwardly for her to shake. His palm felt a little clammy as she pressed her own against it, and he cringed internally at how damp it must have felt to her. She didn't react, however, keeping eye contact with him as they shook firmly.
"Norm." she repeated, and hearing her lips wrap around his name like they did made him shiver in a way he really hoped wasn't noticeable. She introduced herself, and he politely listened, rather expertly pretending that he hadn't had all the information she gave him for weeks. It would be difficult to not know of her purely due to her popularity as a topic of discussion, but he knew he would have been fascinated by her, regardless. Something about her, something beyond the physical beauty, was constantly drawing him to her, making her take over his thoughts since she'd arrived.
"So..." he asked. "Hiding from someone?"
She looked rather sheepish for a moment.
"Maybe a few someones. I've been pretty hard-pressed for peace and quiet since we all got here. I knew people would be excited to meet us, but I really wasn't expecting how much people would wanna talk to me, personally. I'm used to a little less public exposure than this."
I don't blame them. he thought. I want to be around you all the time, too, and I hardly know you.
"I mean, really, you're welcome to hang out in here. No one comes in here most of the time, save for once a week or so. I can leave if you wanna be alone." he offered, somewhat awkwardly making a move towards the door.
"Oh, no, please!" she insisted, her warm hand resting on his chest for a moment as she tried to stop him. His heart broke into a sprint. "I don't wanna kick you out of your spot. Maybe I could just sit in here with you for a few minutes?"
He was rather astonished by her offer, but certainly wasn't going to turn her down, gesturing to a stack of boxes to his right. She joined him quickly, still over a head taller than him even when she sat. He stole frequent looks up at her as she settled in, nosing through the little collection of things he'd hidden away.
"Terminal manuals?" she asked, thumbing through the tome he'd been reading when she'd arrived. "Trying to join the IT team?"
"Oh, no." he said. "It's more of a...hobby, I guess."
"Ahh. So you're teaching yourself to hack into things." she replied, her tone teasing as she cut her eyes at him. "I could teach you a thing or two."
"Careful, I'll take you up on that." he teased, feeling shockingly bold, and she giggled again.
For a long while, maybe an hour or so, the two sat in mostly silent company, browsing through the stack of manuals and supplemental readings that lived on the shelf they'd crowded around. Occasionally, she'd ask him an innocuous, simple question, or make a small joke. He ached to do the same, but held his tongue unless spoken to for fear of say something off-putting. The tight space of the utility closet was warm, full of the lingering tang of solder and old, crispy book pages.
Eventually, she stood and stretched, smiling at him before placing the book in her hand back on the shelf. She bent over the stack of boxes she'd been sitting on as she did, and he couldn't pull his eyes away from the shape of her ass jutting out at him. He dug his teeth into his cheek until it hurt to distract himself.
"Alright, I need to get back to the rewiring project I was working on." she said, stretching as she turned to face him. "Thanks for letting me hang out with you, Norm. Let's do it again soon."
"Yeah." he chuckled, trying to remain casual as his gut tightened at the sound of his name on her lips again. "Like I said, whenever."
He didn't really believe she meant what she said, but she did grin rather eagerly before disappearing out the door, leaving him alone in the silence once more. He waited a while longer before following.
That night, he dreamt of her yet again, but this time, he pushed things even further. He didn't try to, but nevertheless, she was there, hidden away in that closet with him again, her intoxicating smell filling the space completely, making his head swim even more than the surreal-feeling setting. Almost everything was eerily similar, only this time he didn't have to worry about being defeated by his own cowardice...
...and this time she was literally welcoming him with open arms, calling him to her eagerly with that bright smile plastered to her angelic face.
He knew she was only being friendly when she'd laughed at his jokes, that the smile she'd flashed him was probably one she used with everyone. But in that moment, it had felt like it was just for him, and the memory of it made him shudder strongly as he felt the pressure of her hands against his chest, tugging him closer by the breast pockets of his suit.
"Norm." she beckoned, and her seductive voice rang through his head. The dream was bordering on lucid; he knew this couldn't possibly be real, but wanted it to be so badly that he pushed forward, pressing his face into the flesh of her throat. It was warm and ghostly and tingled against him like television static, his brain apparently unable to even guess at how heavenly soft her real skin would be.
Endless praise poured from his mouth, breathless words of worship that didn't quite make it to his ears. When he made full contact with her, she was suddenly completely nude, stood there in all her full, soft glory, her loose hair framing her face beautifully as she wrapped her leg around his hip, pushing herself at him eagerly. She didn't say anything, but he could feel her pleading, begging, and he could feel himself overheating as he fumbled with his fly. She kissed him as his cock slid against her skin, and an almost inhuman growl left her as he found her opening and slipped inside, his hips moving quickly and harshly against hers...
Norm woke rather violently, the sudden, pooling warmth of his spend tainting his sheets ripping him from sleep. It took a moment for his head to clear, the fog of sleep making it difficult to determine if what he was experiencing in that moment was any more real than what he had been experiencing a moment ago. This, however, was much less pleasant. Stumbling a bit as he scrambled to his feet, he took in the mess all over him, all over the bed, a cold wave of shame washing over him as he made his way into the bathroom to retrieve a rag. Stripping naked, he shivered unpleasantly as the cool, wet cloth moved across his hot, sticky skin. His cock was still incredibly sensitive in the wake of his orgasm, and he glared at it as it continued to throb softly, not yet deflated.
The humiliation he felt at kneeling beside his bed, naked and tired and scrubbing a mess off of his sheets, was intense. Accompanying it, an overwhelming sense of guilt at fully reducing her to fodder for his sexual fantasies after talking to her exactly one time. He'd dreamt of her before, but this felt different, worse. He was no better than any of the other men in the Vault, he thought. Something of this nature hadn't happened to him since he was a teenager, and apparently all it took to reduce him to a hormonal mess once more was the presence of a nice, attractive woman who didn't completely ignore him.
In the aftermath of the frantic cleaning, he sat on the edge of the mattress, hiding his burning face in his hands as he tried his best to will away the second erection plaguing him. Several long, grating minutes passed, the young man too busy staring at the wet spot on his sheets and internally berating himself to even think of trying to get back to sleep. But eventually, his increasing fatigue and frustration came to a head, and he begrudgingly made his way to the shower, letting the hot water blast him with a deep sigh.
He wasted time for a few minutes, washing his hair unnecessarily before moving to soap his body, pointedly avoiding his aching cock, flushed red and angry at his neglect. If he was going to be a creep, he could at least practice a bit of self control. However, eventually the water began to cool, and he begrudgingly popped open the bottle of conditioner from the shelf beside him, dropping a generous glob in his hand.
He stroked himself quickly, harshly, trying to finish himself off as efficiently as possible, embarrassed at the way he couldn't keep the image of her out of his mind, no matter how hard he tried to think about anything else. The brief view he'd gotten of her ass bent over at the waist was drilled into his head, hips bucking hard into his own grip at the thought of sliding his cock into her from behind, burying his face in her soft hair as he pumped away at her, making her squirm and come apart around him. The thought made him explode, spattering cum across the shower floor and wall.
Resting his forehead against the warm tile, his hand splashed away the mess before fumbling for the nozzle, the spray gurgling to a halt and leaving him standing there, nude and dripping wet, alone with his thoughts. His plan had worked, at least somewhat; he felt nothing now but guilt, mild worry, and the chill of the increasingly cold shower stall. Wrapping himself in a towel and taking in his seemingly half-drowned form in the mirror, he resolved to continue essentially avoiding her. The way he saw it, he was doing her a favor, his ability to act acceptably around her feeling more and more nonexistent by the day.
Little did he know, his new acquaintance was formulating other plans.
The next day was a town hall day, and Norm had arrived just on time, skittering quietly into his chair after dragging his feet a little too long on the way in. His father lingered at the podium, giving his notes a last minute once-over and waiting for the stragglers to make their way to their spots. He slid in beside his sister, nodding to her and then up towards the podium. Hank flashed his children a quick, warm smile before scanning the rest of the room over.
Once the meeting began in earnest, Norm allowed his gaze to wander a bit, noticing a few swaps in how the new people were arranging themselves on "their" side of the hall, even noting some native Vault 33 members mixed in. Several pairs of folks were cuddled up awfully close, which he found remarkable, given the relatively brief time everyone had known one another.
He was distracted from his somewhat judgmental thoughts when he craned his neck and noticed that the person directly across the aisle from him had changed as well, her head already turned in his direction as she entered his line of vision. Instantly, his head snapped back forward, embarrassed at the accidental eye contact. He let a moment pass, staring hard at his father but not hearing any of his words, before peeking over once more; she was still looking his direction, a pleasant smile painting her face.
For most of the remainder of the meeting, he kept his eyes forward, chastising himself for being nosy. But out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that she seemed to keep peeking over at him, and eventually the curiosity got to him. When he allowed himself to fully turn his head and look over at the woman he'd been fixated on for weeks, she looked right back at him, still smiling. He was ready to write it off as some sort of coincidence; maybe she was looking at someone behind him, Lucy or another girlfriend. However, she held his gaze for a long second, one of the hands that rested on her lap lifting to waggle her fingers at him in a small wave.
Who, me?
Almost like she'd heard him, she raised her eyebrows and pointed her forehead at him, as if to confirm his curiosity. His cheeks felt instantly warm, a little smile jumping to his lips.
Slightly dazed, Norm turned his attention back to the stage for real, noticing that Betty had taken up at the podium to discuss some lesser business. He also noticed his dad lingering off to the side; he seemed to be looking straight at him for once, and it caught him off guard. Studying the older man, he watched as his gaze danced back and forth between him and the woman across the aisle from him, his face as unreadable as ever.
Once the meeting concluded, the immediate buzz of voices kicking in filled the meeting hall, several dozen people all trying to shuffle off to work or wherever they were supposed to be. He rose quickly, moving to head back to the menial task he'd been occupying himself with before he'd come down. However, he paused a moment when she leapt up and into his path.
"Hey, Norm!" she said sweetly, waving at him in full as she turned to make her way back down the aisle.
"Hi." he replied awkwardly, smiling as normally as possible at her as she went by.
There was a beat after she left, and already he could feel the growing energy beside him.
"What was that?" Lucy asked almost immediately, drilling into him with those massive eyes of hers.
He scowled as best as he could, crossing his arms.
"Nothing!" he insisted, but the way his sister looked at him didn't convey much faith in his answer. Fortunately, she kept her teasing nonverbal and simply pulled a face at him as he walked away.
Going about the rest of his day, he naturally found himself replaying their little interaction over and over in his head, so distracted by the constant rumination that he almost completely blew through the designated lunch period for all the working adults. Drawn out over a couple of hours, most folks who were able still came towards the beginning for the freshest serving of whatever was on offer for the day, leaving the dining hall comparatively empty for the rest of the time. Dinner was usually a private meal that people ate in their rooms, prepared for themselves and shared with their families, but lunch was treated more communally...by most people. There were the odd few less-than-social individuals, like Norm himself, who would sometimes secret things away to their rooms or another quiet spot to eat alone. But in the few years since he'd moved into his own room, he found that he often didn't feel like putting in the effort, often just choosing an out of the way table and powering down whatever he could get his hands on to fuel him for the rest of his shift with the least amount of fuss.
She was still front and center in his thoughts as he settled quickly into a seat, setting to stuffing the rather bland sandwich into his mouth as quickly as he could without feeling like a beast. Unfortunately, that choice ensured that his mouth was filled almost as full as comfortably possible when she suddenly appeared in his peripheral vision, carrying her own matching meal.
"Hi, Norm! Can I sit with you?" she asked, balancing what looked like some fruit juice in her other hand.
After briefly contemplating attempting to swallow down the whole bite in one go, he decided a nonverbal answer would be less humiliating than accidentally choking to death in front of her, so he nodded very carefully, scooting a few inches across the bench to make room for her. Between his diminutive build and the length of the table, it wasn't needed, but he didn't trust himself to encroach too far into her personal space.
"You don't normally eat this late." she mused pleasantly, casually, as if he was so used to her presence.
"Oh, no. I like to wait until the peak passes, but I usually come earlier than 'the last possible minute'." he replied after a moment, swallowing the last bit of matter in his mouth back nervously.
"I try, but a lot of the time I just get so wrapped up in whatever I'm doing that I lose track of time. Then I end up running down here to grab whatever's leftover." she said between bites. "Lunch isn't my favorite meal."
He chuckled at that, feeling himself relax incrementally.
"So, are you and your family adjusting alright?" he asked after another bite, testing out his rusty conversational skills.
"I think everyone has settled in pretty well. I was kinda worried about my sister when we first moved, but she's made a couple of friends and she likes her job in hydroponics. She loves plants. My aunt has always been a little hard to read, and she's got a real 'stiff upper lip' sort of mentality, but I think she likes it here fine. She's a lady of routine and she's had to make some adjustments." she replied, peeling an especially dry-looking bit of crust from the remainder of her sandwich. "It's sweet of you to ask."
"Ah." he blushed, fumbling for a follow-up. "Is it just the three of you? Do you have other siblings?"
"Yeah, two more younger ones. They're still in school, living with mom and dad and all that. Don't get me wrong, I miss them like crazy, but it's nice to have free time I didn't have before, since I used to watch them a lot." she responded, swallowing down the last of her beverage and setting the empty cup on her plate.
"I bet that would be nice. Must be weird to not be able to talk to them, though."
"I make sure to write them plenty of indoctrinating letters." she smiled.
"Better be careful with that. " he joked, eyes glued to the way her reddened tongue swept across her lower lip. "They'll put the kibosh on communication between Vaults."
"Eh, I'm sure I could figure out a way to write them, anyway." she shrugged with playful hubris, gathering her dishes close to her and sweeping the few crumbs from the tabletop onto it. "Well, I'd totally stay and chat more, but I'm in the middle of some voltage output testing downstairs."
He grinned sadly.
"Well, it was nice talking to you." he said.
"Let's continue the conversation tomorrow. What time do you usually come down to eat?" she asked, rising from her spot.
Rather astonished, he stammered out whatever time came to mind first and simply made an effort to show up at that time. True to her word, she appeared right on time the next day, waving at him as she entered the dining hall. She passed a table of previous 32 dwellers and greeted them as well on her way by, pointedly ignoring the presence of the bigger built guy who was always fixated on her. Her seemingly unwanted shadow had been assigned to security detail and apparently used the job's freedom of movement the same way Norm often did.
They stood in the short line together, both receiving a small serving of minced Cram loaf and a little InstaMash, by far one of his least favorite lunches in the rotation. She didn't seem to notice the eyes on both of them as they sat; that, or she didn't care that people were staring. The conversation didn't start up as quickly as it had the day before, but the silence between them wasn't uncomfortable as he picked at the offering in front of him. He recognized one or two bits of reconstituted vegetable in the pinkish mass of meat, though which kind, he couldn't tell. Mercifully, the half-sphere scoop of potato beside it had already grown relatively cold, reducing the prominence of the smell. He still found himself put off, though, glancing over at his companion where she sat, a few bites deep into the stuff.
"You like the InstaMash, huh?" he asked, and he almost immediately regretted it when her eyes cut towards him, quickly and harshly in a way that could only say one thing:
What the hell's that supposed to mean?
Norm blinked hard in momentary panic at his own faux pas, holding his hands up in as playful a defense as he could.
"I didn't mean it like that. My bad."
She stared at him a moment longer, her gaze softening but obviously still sizing him up.
"Mm?" she replied eventually, waiting for him to better explain himself, possibly before leaving, because he somehow couldn't manage to keep his foot out of his mouth for five minutes of social interaction with her.
"I just meant you like it enough to actually eat it, which is way more than most people around here like it."
"Oh." she said flatly, seeming momentarily flustered. "Well, we don't have this stuff back at 32. You don't like it?"
He was a bit taken aback by her statement, but tucked that information away to dwell on later.
"Nah, I don't even touch it anymore. Working in the kitchens really ruined it for me, not that I really enjoyed it all that much to begin with." he said, poking at the stuff with the very tip of his fork. "Ask Lucy how many times I wadded this stuff up like a snowball and threw it at her when we were kids."
She giggled at that around another bite.
"If you want mine, you can have it. It's probably pretty cold by now but it'll go in the trash otherwise." he offered.
That earned him a smaller, more intimate smile, and her voice was softer, quieter when she replied.
"Thanks. I can't eat too much at lunch, though, or it makes me sluggish the rest of my shift. Plus, these stupid suits already fit my body weird, so if my ass gets any bigger, the bottom might not fit right anymore. Last time I asked for bigger suits I got a twenty-minute lecture about health in the infirmary."
He blinked at her in reply, completely unsure what to say, sensing a playing field full of landmines as his brain churned away double-time in a fruitless attempt to formulate a response. Thankfully, she read the blank panic on his face and granted him the mercy of preemptively cutting his reply off.
"Sorry, I'm rambling." she blushed hard, suddenly looking anywhere but at him, and for a beat he saw the same awkward insecurity he often felt himself. It was strange to see on her, but it was revealing, and it made him feel a bit closer to her. "So, you said you used to work in the kitchens before?"
"Yeah, I did. Morning shift and everything." he said, breathing a little easier at the change of topic.
Is there even a proper way to say "your ass is perfect the way it is" without getting slapped?
"Hmm." she said, pulling a face that made him chuckle. "I hate waking up early. Did you like it?"
"No."
She laughed, and it was full and relaxed instead of the uncomfortable, terse sort of chuckle he usually got back when he was honest about things.
"Well, do you like maintenance better?"
"Uh...no." he smiled guiltily, taking the smallest bite of the Cram loaf he could pick up. "I can't reach a lot of the stuff I'm supposed to do without a ton of effort. I have to open a bunch of those hatch panels for inspections and I'm not quite, uh, strong enough." he said, feeling his face warm a bit at the admission. "It's..."
"Well, putting you there kinda seems like a slight, then, doesn't it?"
"Well, you said it, not me. To be fair to them, though, they've stuck me a lot of places and I've never liked any of them." he shrugged.
She gave him an interesting, but sort of unreadable look in reply.
"I don't think there's anything wrong with trying different things to help you discover what you like." she murmured, pulling a slight face as she took her first bite of the entree. "So many people around here dig themselves deep into situations they don't want and are too afraid to start over. I admire that you can admit when things aren't working out for you."
Her compliment landed a bit strangely, but he smiled anyway and choked down another bite of the stuff himself.
For the next several weeks, things went on just like that; they ran into each other during work often, usually stopping to chat for a bit, and most days they both appeared for lunch around the same time and sat together, mostly eating in companionable silence early on. He found that he really relished being in the company of someone who could appreciate that silence instead of constantly having to fill it with chatter. However, they were both persistent in at least occasionally chipping in some pleasant conversation, and soon they'd grown fairly talkative depending on the day.
One evening, he'd worked late and was making his way back to his room, rather down that he'd gotten caught up in something and had missed his chance to see her that afternoon. However, he was very pleasantly surprised to find her standing outside his door when he turned the corner.
"Hey!" she greeted, smiling widely at him as he approached. "I missed you at lunch today!"
"Oh, yeah. I got distracted and lost track of the time." he muttered, his heart fluttering at her enthusiasm.
Her grin morphed into a mask of slight guilt.
"I hate to ask you this, but could I bug you for a favor?"
"Sure." he replied, not allowing his hesitation to slip into his voice.
"Could I use your shower real quick? I have an IT society meeting in an hour or so and my sister is hogging the bathroom in our room." she asked, tagging onto the end a rushed "You don't have to, of course. I just thought I'd ask."
"Yes." he blurted instantly, fighting a sense of panic at how his cock began to stir at the image her question kicked up in his brain.
"Great. Thank you so much. I'm gonna run and get my stuff." she beamed before turning and disappearing again, leaving Norm scrambling to check over the little apartment for anything that needed to be tossed or hidden away before she came back. Fortunately, the only objectionable objects he found in his search were a pair of used underwear on the floor near the hamper and a conspicuous bottle of lotion a bit too close to the bedside.
She knocked when she returned, a rare quality in Vault 33. He welcomed her in, keeping his eyes glued to her face to avoid shaming himself.
"Thanks again." she said, cradling a towel, a clean suit, and a bottle of standard issue body wash in her arms.
"No problem. I remember what it's like to share a room with a sister who hogs the bathroom." he replied, lingering as she stripped out of her boots and socks and sat them by the table.
She smiled at that, working her hair up into a messy bun on the top of her head.
"I'm not mad at her. I remember what it's like to be eighteen." she replied, her hands moving to the collar of her suit and working the snaps open, fussing with the inner liner. "That said, I still need a shower before I have to sit shoulder-to-shoulder with someone else."
He didn't reply immediately, too captivated by the view of her slowly unzipping the suit all the way down, revealing the thin shirt she wore underneath. She didn't miss a beat, shucking the wadded-up suit down to her ankles, the blue material pooling around her feet as she stepped out of it. The younger man's thoughts almost instantly blanked out, drawn irresistibly to the new view of her bare, strong legs.
"I'll try to not make a mess." she winked playfully as she folded the soiled suit, placing it on the table as she stood there, cast in the yellow glow of the overhead light in nothing but her sleeveless undershirt and her panties. Norm's immediate instinct was to look away, but she reached out and gave him a little pat on the arm that drew his intense stare, following her along as she made her way towards the bathroom. Simultaneously cursing and grateful for the existence of the thin curtain, he watched as she drew it closed behind her. Well, mostly closed behind her; there was a generous margin of a few inches that remained uncovered at the far end, offering him a slight peek into the small room. He felt stuck, undulating between wanting to pick a seat that would allow him to sneak a glance at her and wanting to put his nose to the wall until she left. Striking an internal compromise, he took a careful seat on the couch where he couldn't see into the bathroom doorway...unless he craned his neck.
She was humming something tuneless as she lingered around the sink, likely assessing herself in the mirror. A second later, she passed by the opening, so fast he could hardly see that her back was bare, but that small peek at her previously unseen flesh instantly riled him, a heat blooming all across him as the quiet hiss of the shower head filled the place. The Overseer's son knew that he was being entirely improper, that he really shouldn't have agreed to let her do this in the first place if he couldn't control himself around her, but he couldn't turn his head away after that first glance, eyes glued to that sliver of openness. There was a sickening mix of anticipation and absolute dread that he might see something else churning deep in his core; when she turned back towards the door for another step and he could make out the side of the curve of her breast, the equilibrium was broken, and he was so awash in guilt that he was finally able to turn his head forward once more, physically nauseous at how badly he wanted her.
"Oh, shoot!" she called over the water. "I forgot a washcloth. Can I use one of yours?"
"Sure." he squeaked back, too afraid to turn his head towards the door.
For fifteen minutes or so, he sat there in limbo, trying his best to regulate his breathing and will his already throbbing cock to go down. He even turned on the television, an old western still in the tape deck from when Lucy had last come over to watch a movie. The entire film was burned clear as day into his memory, so he allowed his brain and gaze to glaze over, trying to think of anything but the naked, wet woman in the next room. Unfortunately, he failed miserably, and by the time the rainfall sound of the shower gurgled to a stop, he'd pulled a thick tome about electrical circuits into his lap to hide his shame.
He didn't rise to greet her when she exited the bathroom, tendrils of steam curling around the door frame and into the main living area. When she cut a path past the couch to say goodbye, the time for her meeting rapidly approaching, he found it hard to meet her gaze, afraid she'd sniff out what a debased freak he was. But she didn't seem to notice anything out of place, her arms wrapped around her dirty clothes, the damp washcloth sat on top.
"Thanks again! Bring you a clean one tomorrow." she promised, waving as she went by.
Feeling borderline rabid as she finally made her way out the door, his eyes were glued to her ass the moment she passed by enough to turn her back to him. The door hissed closed behind her, and he watched as her silhouette crossed the curtains, disappearing down the hall. Almost immediately, he chucked the heavy text out of his lap, the pressure on his groin offensive. The thing wobbled on the edge of the couch before clattering to the floor on its face, dog-earing a section of pages, and he let out a frustrated sigh. There was a sharp ache in his groin as he stood to collect it. He stood there, tingling with remorse and trying his best to mash and refold the pages into place with trembling hands, but he fumbled and failed, dropping the thing onto the small side table in pure frustration.
Resigning himself to his fate, he rubbed at his burning face as he made his own way into the bathroom, silently praying that he'd be able to look her in the face again after being so unhinged in her presence. The pair of them were only starting to become close, and he could feel himself actively trying his best to run her off. Pushing the curtain aside once more, he tried his best to avoid looking at himself in the mirror that sat a few inches too high above the sink. By the time he'd stripped completely, he still hadn't decided exactly how cold his shower was going to be, kicking his boots and dirty clothes into a pile in the corner near the doorway. Turning to pad across the cool tile, his rarely-exposed soles especially sensitive to the temperature, one foot suddenly landed on something thin and frictionless, sending his leg sliding out from under him.
"Oh my fucking god!" he growled, barely righting himself in time with a hand against the wall as he glared down to see which possession of his was about to be the direct target of his sexually frustrated ire. What he found, however, was a thin white slip of fabric too small to be anything of his. It appeared to be a pair of her panties.
The worn pair.
Though he'd assumed he'd long ago reached the zenith of his capacity for self-hatred, he somehow managed to drop a level deeper as he stooped to pick the things up, clenching them in his fist like they'd somehow manage to escape without missing a beat. Despite the loud, protesting voice in his brain, he couldn't hold himself back from doing what the basest part of him was demanding, lifting them to his nose and taking a deep huff. The intense ache of his neglected cock at the smell of her made him whimper pitifully, the actual shower forgotten entirely as he leaned back against the wall. His breaths were heavy, the strain only intensified by the humid air of the small space; even that was full of her scent, the familiar fragrance of the body wash in the air off by a degree in a way that could only be attributed to her. That intoxicating perfume, along with the sheer amount of blood rushing from his skull elsewhere, made his head spin, and his constantly-nagging erection twitched eagerly as he wrapped his free hand around it.
His previously overwhelming shame was shockingly absent as he began to pump himself in slow, firm strokes, breathing out her name sharply as his eyes clenched shut. The figure of her in her underwear loomed large in the forefront of his mind, the softness and curves and strength completely overpowering him and flooding his imagination with all the ways he wanted to feel her. He wanted to completely submit himself to whatever made her happy, spend all of his time and stored enthusiasm pleasing her, earning her affection and attention. The sound of the nearby shower dripping conjured images of bathing her, worshiping every single soapy inch of her with his hands and mouth, rutting his neglected cock against her leg until she allowed him to lead her to bed.
Thinking about her sinking herself down onto his cock, the resulting throb in his gut made him groan so loud he'd have been shocked if his neighbor couldn't hear through the vents. Desperate to prolong the toe-curling pleasure he felt as he continued to fuck his fist, he switched hands, wrapping the soiled fabric around his shaft and allowing the his non-dominant hand's lack of coordination to pull him back from the edge just a hair's breadth. However, a quick glance down at his own ignominy was the end of him, the embarrassment enough to viciously snatch back the small amount of headway he'd gained. As he shot all over the floor, squeezing the base of his cock hard as his hips rutted into his grip, her name tried to launch off of his tongue yet again but he refused to let it, swallowing it back in a pained gurgle.
Surprisingly, he was primarily fatigued as he released himself, a heavy shudder breaking up his spine as his the final shocks of his climax ran through him. It was only in that moment he realized just how tense he had been before, every muscle in his body aching and trembling with exhaustion. Letting out a deep sigh, he took in the mess before him, cradling the small garment in his hand and examining it for signs of his own mess.
He should have planned to tuck them into his pocket and return them to her; though it would have been a little awkward, it was almost certainly the correct thing to do. Instead, he hid them deep in his bedside table drawer and silently practiced what he would say to her if she asked about them. Returning to the scene of the crime, he yet again spent several minutes on his knees, scrubbing up his own sin off the floor with his dirty boxers before throwing himself into as hot a shower as he could stand. The heat of the water on his aching muscles was a welcome sensation, relaxing, and within a few minutes he was tiptoeing close to falling asleep, leaning against the shower wall.
Climbing into bed afterwards, his damp hair leaving a dark ring on his pillow, he stretched his arm across the empty expanse of bed next to him, and he felt lonelier than he had in a long time. Though he'd been eager to see her go so he could relieve himself, the place felt drab and empty without her.
His plan to avoid her in order to relieve himself of his obsession had been miserably unsuccessful, and he couldn't bring himself to reformulate. It wasn't difficult to see how kind and warm she was; that shone through to the very surface of her, and one could pick out that special glow from a mile away. It was one of the things he found most attractive about her (once he was able to pull his mind at least a few inches out of the filth-filled gutter). But there were so many more gorgeous aspects of her, mind and body, that he discovered with all the time they spent alone. She was also incredibly sharp-witted and funny, and though she often teased him, she was never truly mean. Playfully so, yes, and it thrilled him in a way he suspected she was aware of.
On top of everything, she was more thoughtful than he thought most people capable of. He never seemed to slip her mind like he so often did with others.
Eventually, they grew close enough that the days they couldn't eat lunch at the same time didn't hinder their time together. Instead, they would meet up in the evenings and chat while walking laps around the maintenance wing, which had initially been laps around the admin wing until a certain male transfer started working full shifts in the security office and staring them down through the window as they went by. Other days she would come to his room and they'd catch up sitting on his couch, the hum of the television in the background. One evening in particular, he'd been flitting back and forth across the little apartment, anxiously cleaning in anticipation of her visit.
"Hey." he greeted as she let herself in, dropping exhaustedly onto the couch.
She'd already tied the upper half of her suit around her waist, the thing unzipped to the navel and her hair piled on top of her head. The casual, comfortable look on her distracted him as he finished up putting yet another set of clean sheets on his mattress. Slyly, he nudged the soiled ones beneath the bed with the toe of his boot, tucking them as far back as he could and praying she wouldn't notice them.
He offered her a glass of water from the sink before joining her on the couch, passing the cup into her grip and noticing that her middle and ring fingers were wrapped up in gauze from the second knuckle down.
"Aw. What'd you do?" he asked, holding his hand out somewhat timidly and smiling when she slid her larger one into it.
"Oh, I burned myself on some live wiring like a dummy. It's not too bad. I just get my hands dirty so often and I didn't want it to get infected, so I covered it up." she said, letting him turn her injured appendage over.
"Poor thing." he hummed, stroking gently over her unwrapped knuckles with his thumb. For a split second, he was tempted to lift her hand to his mouth and give it a soft kiss. But the memory of the time he'd tried that sort of half-formed romantic gesture with Beth Cross, as well as the memory of her reaction, quickly flashed through his mind, and the urge died almost instantly. Instead, he lowered it back down to rest on her knee, but didn't pull his own away. She didn't move to reject his minuscule advance, and it made him feel ten feet tall.
For a while, they swapped stories about their days, hers much more interesting than his, though you wouldn't be able to tell by the way she responded. She talked excitedly about moving into her own room, something she'd requested when her sister had expressed a desire for more privacy. He was happy for her, but couldn't shake the strange feeling of worry that washed over him when he thought about her sleeping alone in a basically unlocked room. They held hands for what felt like a long, long time before she eventually excused herself to the bathroom. He watched her go, eyes glued to the way her ample hips and ass swayed with her walk, and let out a quietly frustrated sigh as that familiar sensation deep in his gut stirred up once more.
"I'm gonna go to the social tonight. Are you?" she asked suddenly as she reemerged, pulling her hair loose from the bun that had held it and fussing with the length.
The youngest MacLean tried his best to withhold the cringe that crept up his back at the mention of one of his least favorite aspects of Vault culture. The weekly socials had been going on since before he was born, and he'd hated them since before he was even made to go. When he was young, he'd hated being left to occupy himself in his family's room while his father and Lucy attended, but once he became of age, he realized he also hated attending himself.
The socials, they'd been taught, were intended to encourage community spirit and good feeling among neighbors, as well as to allow the hardworking folks of the Vault to blow off some steam. However, what they truly were was somewhere between an insanely awkward singles' mixer and a poor recreation of the high school dances he'd seen in movies. Older members attended to chaperon and collect bits of gossip, while younger members attended in hopes of hooking an attractive spouse...and to collect bits of gossip. Norm quite literally always ended up sat at a table in the back, alone, watching Lucy and Chet and all their other peers dance and laugh and flirt, and overall just soaking in the "ghost at the feast" feeling. It wasn't his favorite thing to do by any means.
Granted, it wasn't completely unenjoyable. Sometimes there was cake.
"Nah, I literally never go to those things." he replied as casually as he could manage, willing a change in topic as she flopped back down onto the couch.
"Well, I literally never see you there, so that makes sense." she teased, leaning close and carding her fingers through his hair, sending him shivering lightly at the way her short, manicured nails scratched lightly at his scalp. "You should come down, though. My sister's working, so she can't come along to keep me company. Besides, I wanna dance and I think if I keep bugging Lucy and Betty they'll get sick of me."
"You dance with Betty?" he asked, eyebrow raised.
She shrugged loosely, fully uncaring and smirking.
"She's really good! Betty's got a ton of energy for a lady her age." she said. "Plus, I can't dance with most of the guys because they instantly get super weird about it."
He didn't need to ask her for clarification, so he kept quiet, fidgeting a bit in his seat.
"Well, Lucy loves dancing and she loves making friends, so I doubt she'll get sick of you."
She chuckled briefly at that, but refused to let him evade her offer.
"Still. I'd really love it if you'd come."
It was clear that she was being serious, and it set him to fully squirming; he was unaccustomed to his presence being demanded out of desire and not obligation. Mercifully, she left it at that, excusing herself to finish up moving her things with a quick, gentle kiss to his cheek that stalled his breath in his chest. He sat in his room a while, bouncing between fiddling with his Pip-Boy and staring at the clock as the evening ticked by, bouncing his knee all the while, the time for the social drawing nearer and nearer.
There was no way he would manage to completely escape humiliation if he decided to go. Embarrassment seemed to find him easily, and he'd long accepted that as an unfortunate fact of his life. She would be pulled away, or get distracted and forget about him. Or worse, she would be with him all night and realize what a miserable bore he really was. What he had to decide was whether the likely humiliation was worth the time he might get to spend with her.
He stayed locked in indecision, frozen on the couch for far too long, and it wasn't until the social had already been going on for over half an hour that he decided to head down. The halls were largely abandoned, most people either filling the meeting hall in the admin wing or settling into their rooms for the evening, and the silence helped him calm himself as he made his way down.
This particular social was more heavily attended than he remembered them being, but with all the shuffling of personnel, he wasn't necessarily surprised...though, he wasn't exactly pleased, either. This many people meant an awful lot of watching eyes, ready to take in his failure to act like a regular person, ready to note his every little peculiarity to one another in hushed tones. It made him tense back up more than a bit as he descended the stairs, eyes scanning the clusters of folks talking and dancing, searching for her.
It took just long enough for the pit of self-doubt in his gut to start aching to find her, tucked over against the wall on the margins of the dance floor, chatting up another woman who he didn't properly recognize. Though her back was to him, he knew her shape and the shine of her hair instantly, and suddenly he didn't completely dread every moment of being there. He tried his best to weave through the crowd unnoticed, though several people made curious eye contact with him as he squeezed by, wedging himself between swaying bodies. One such body was her least favorite security officer, looming near the edge of the crowd; Norm hadn't noticed him until they'd already collided gently, the guy immediately turning his chin down towards him and glaring hard.
"Sorry." he muttered, pushing himself through the edge of the cluster and taking a moment to appreciate the free space, watching as she turned back towards the dance floor, towards him. Her face positively lit up when she saw him, her arm raising and waving at him excitedly as he closed the rest of the distance between them. Her suit was back fully in place, her hair still up, but slicked back.
"You came!" she said, her tone cheery. "I wasn't sure you would."
"Uh, yeah." he replied awkwardly, still feeling eyes on his back. "I would've felt bad if I didn't. You asked so nicely, after all."
She laughed at his non-joke, likely trying to help calm him as she took in his tense posture.
"Let's get some punch and sit down for a few minutes." she said.
The pair chatted a bit as they stood in the short line, their words mixing in with the murmur of a few dozen others.
"So..." he hesitated. "What's the deal with you and Lieutenant Hall Monitor, anyway?"
She snickered at the nickname as her eyes followed his tilting head, which made him relax one degree more. However, when the laughter faded away, she let out a sigh.
"Is he bothering you?"
"Nah, but I will say that I seem to annoy him more than usual."
There was a palpable kink in the energy between them for the briefest of seconds.
"It's not about you. We were supposed to get married last year, way before the transfer." she said, suddenly much quieter. "Obviously, we didn't end up going through with that."
"Oh."
"Don't get me wrong; there's a reason. It was the right thing for me. He's just...mean sometimes." she continued, to which he shook his head disapprovingly and tried to not cast a glance the guy's way. "It's awkward, you know? I was hoping I'd have a whole fresh start when I signed up to move here, but then he came along, too. I think he sees us as 'separated' and not 'over'. I was pretty pissed when I found out his transfer request was approved."
"I have to say, as someone who's been dumped before, sometimes you just have to take it on the chin." he replied, trying to inject some levity into the conversation and unable to avoid self-effacement.
"I have to save a little blame for his parents. And mine. Probably our council, too. " she sighed heavily, fiddling with her sleeve. "I got separate talks from all of them to basically tell me I didn't understand what I was doing when I called off the wedding. I'm sure he still thinks there's something up with me that I'll snap out of eventually because that's what they told him."
"That's...unhelpful."
"Yes. He was pretty upset when we broke up, though, so maybe it was an attempt at comfort. I'm not quite sure what the thought process was." she went on, very interested in the dirt under her nails. "We dated a long time, so it's a lot of history to walk away from. I get that. But we were kids when we started. I want different things now, and I had to make some changes before I got too far into a life I didn't want. Plus, I complained to my sister so much about him, and I was really afraid of what she'd take away as a lesson if I still married him."
"Ah. I understand." he said, keeping his tone casual despite all the new information turning over in his brain. He could sense unsteady ground here, and he felt guilty that he'd asked to begin with. "Well, I guess that explains why he tries to blow up my head with his mind every time we see one another now. I'm sympathetic, actually."
I'd kick myself every day if I managed to get that close to the finish line with you and still fuck it up somehow.
"Oh yeah? You want me to beat him up for you?" she offered conspiratorially, smiling again.
"I think I'll be okay." he chuckled, face hot yet again as she leaned just a bit closer. The rest of their quick wait was relatively quiet, the two of them sharing a glance that gave him goosebumps. They made their way past the big communal punch bowl and accepted cups from Reg and Betty; the older man sized them both up as they went by, but didn't comment on anything other than to say hello.
"It's good to see you participating for once, Norman." Betty said, and Norm smiled the least tight-lipped smile he could in response.
They settled at one of the empty bench tables that had been pushed to the far edges of the room, their backs to the wall as they sipped their beverages and watched everyone mingle. She seemed prone to the same sort of quiet observation he was.
"You know, I was thinking about those manuals you were reading when we first hung out." she said after a while, polishing off the red liquid in the paper cup she held. "I really could teach you about working with the terminal system if you're interested."
Embarrassed prickles broke out along his back and scalp at the warm, nostalgic feeling her bringing the incident up inspired.
"Oh, you don't have to do that." he said dismissively.
"I know. There's no rule that mandates it or anything, as far as I know." she replied, leaning on one arm and drawing herself closer to him until their legs were touching. "I'm offering explicitly because I want to. I like spending time with you."
His response caught in his throat at that, genuinely unsure how to respond to her confession. Suddenly, a new song came on over the jukebox speakers, mixed just a tad louder than the last, and her face lit up again, almost as brightly as it had when he'd entered the room.
"Oh, I absolutely love this song! Come dance with me!" she smiled, offering her hand.
"Ah, I really don't think I remember how." he chuckled awkwardly, voice slightly raised over the sound of the music. "It's been so long since I learned."
For years, Norm had been Lucy's compulsory dance partner. She'd forced him to practice every night for months until he knew all the steps to everything the first year she'd begun to attend, so he wasn't unskilled at it. But he loathed the attention he often drew from his lack of grace, hated the stories of past embarrassments that new embarrassments tended to trudge up.
"That's okay, honey! I'll lead." came her reply, his heart rate kicking up a gear at the affectionate pet name. And, true to her word, she whisked him up to his feet and tugged him a bit closer to the makeshift dance floor, lingering towards the back edge to give the two of them some space. He was even more aware of the height she had over him than normal as she stood close, guiding one of his hands to rest on her shoulder, clasping the other in hers. The soft swell of her breasts pressed lightly against his upper chest, and his whole face felt hot.
"You can lead once you get the steps back down, if you want." she murmured, seemingly mistaking his aroused distraction for embarrassment about being in the "woman's" position.
"It's fine. I seriously barely remember anything, so a little refresher would be great." he responded quickly, eager for anything else to focus on that wasn't the warmth and smell of her standing as near as she was. Fortunately, the song was jaunty, but not too fast, so they held one another loosely and trotted back and forth for most of it, the familiar pattern of steps and twirls coming back to him rather quickly. By the time the next song had begun, a bit faster, they were going along steadily, hardly missing a beat.
"You're really good!" she said, and he laughed her compliment off, working to keep his small steps in time with her larger ones. Slowly, they made their way a bit closer to the crowd, not fully folding in, but stepping nearer to joining in as they enjoyed the music. He could feel the attention they were attracting, but the way she let him cling to her made the anxiety it caused melt away.
Soon, another new song began, this one much slower and a bit sadder, but she still didn't pull away. There was a bit of a pause as she guided one of his hands down to her hip, her own coming to rest on his shoulder as she allowed him to take the lead. He wobbled a bit, his face warm, but she was patient and soon they were swaying along like it was the most natural thing in the world. As his confidence grew, he felt sure enough to guide the pair of them around a bit, twirling along with the bluesy rhythm.
As they turned, Norm could've sworn that he'd caught a glimpse of his father, leaning along the upper railing and looking down over them, but he was too caught up in the thrill of holding her like he was to bother looking back over his shoulder. He was too happy, too rarely comfortable in his body and the situation he found himself in to bother with anything else. Time was lost to him completely. When the very last song ended, she finally pulled away, but the hand that clasped his didn't, leaving them standing near the middle of the floor, fingers intertwined as the last few notes faded out.
"That was nice." he blurted, and she grinned down at him, giving his hand a little squeeze.
"It was. I'm really happy you came." she said. "Do you wanna see my new room? I managed to get all moved in before I came down here." she asked. "I don't have the route quite down-pat yet, but I'm pretty sure it's not all that far from yours."
"Sure. I'd like that." he said as they made their way over to the wall again, lingering as they waited for the bulk of the traffic to empty out of the hall. He tried his best to not fidget.
They walked in easy silence for the couple of minutes it took to make it back to the dormitory wing of the Vault. As they wound their way out of the administrative section, she allowed her path to cross slightly into his, her hip bouncing into him playfully. She took it as an opportunity to grab his hand back up into hers, and he grinned at her as she wound her fingers into his. When they began to walk along the rows and rows of doors, their pace slowed, attempting to draw out their journey just a bit longer. Eventually, she stopped in front of one that didn't stand out more than any other.
"Well, I'm pretty sure this is me. Ready for the grand reveal?"
He chuckled heartily as she stood aside, sweeping her arms in a grand gesture as the door lifted itself, revealing almost a carbon copy of the room he lived in, save for a few of her personal affects already sitting around. Playing along, he gave her an appreciative clap, pretending to appraise the place from her side. It made her giggle, and the sound tinkled embarrassingly down his spine.
"I'm glad you like it." she said, stepping almost as close as she had been when they were dancing. But there was no music now, no social cover for their encroaching proximity. She didn't seem to care, though, her head tilted down towards him; somehow, she managed to look down at him without making him feel small, and it made him even more drawn to her than before. In fact, it almost seemed like she was coming closer...
Norm didn't know how to react for the first heartbeat or two of her kissing him, his brain buffering hard in disbelief. Luckily, she'd come to be somewhat familiar with his artless tendencies, and lingered long enough for him to come fully back into his own body, eventually managing to kiss back. Hesitantly, he moved one hand up to rest back on her hip, pulling her a hair closer like he had before. This spurred her into bringing her hand up to rest along his cheek, and it idled there when she pulled back.
"Took you long enough, Norm." she said suddenly, and after a hard pause, they both broke into laughter that they tried in vain to keep quiet. His heart was flying, and there was a joy pulsing in his veins that he wasn't sure he'd ever felt before. They lingered in her doorway together, smiling shyly at one another.
"Alright, I'd better try and get settled down. I've gotta be up early yet again." she sighed, finally taking a step into the place before pirouetting back towards him. "I'd invite you in, but I didn't get a chance to try out the shower fully before I had to go down for the social, and I got pretty sweaty hauling my stuff down here."
"Uhh..." he replied dumbly, completely fumbling his chance to flirt back by offering to share the shower in his effort to swallow back his initial response. Somehow, he'd managed to keep his cool well enough through her literally kissing him, but the thought of her all sweaty was what started getting him hard.
"See you tomorrow? Maybe after you're off we could start on some of the stuff I wanted to teach you." she cut him off, a knowing glint in her eyes.
"Definitely." he mumbled out before they said goodbye. He let her door close in his face just so he could have the additional second in her presence it provided before looking both ways over his shoulder, trying to remember which way his room was in his fog of elation.
It was impossible for him to keep the big, cheesy grin off of his face as he walked, spreading so wide across his face that it almost made his cheeks ache, unaccustomed to the pressure. He was inefficient getting back where he was going, missing a turn or two in his distraction. As he rounded the corner towards his room, still high on the feeling of her pressing herself so close to him, he jumped in surprise as he nearly slammed directly into his father.
"Sorry, dad." he said. "I didn't see you coming."
"That's alright." Hank replied, smiling as his hand came to rest on his shoulder. "I wasn't expecting to see you at the social, you know. It was nice to see you making friends."
He smiled back, squirming a bit as he lifted his head to look up at him. No matter how old he got, Norm always felt a bit like a child in his father's presence.
"Yeah, I had fun. Guess all that dancing Lucy used to make me do paid off at least a little bit."
"I suppose so." he said simply. "I noticed you getting particularly close with one of our transfers. What's her name, again?"
He reminded the older man, every syllable rolling off of his tongue almost worshipfully.
"Oh, yes. The one from IT. She's very nice. I've heard wonderful things about her from Betty."
"Yeah, she's definitely right up Betty's alley." the younger man replied, nervousness churning in his stomach as he tried to find the courage to get out what he really wanted to say, eventually succeeding, though just barely.
"I, uh, think she likes me, actually." he said, fumbling just so with his words.
He'd somewhat expected appraisal from his father, maybe even some pride that his awkward, introverted son had put in some effort to socialize and had managed to eke out a mild win. But there was nothing in the Overseer's face, just the same vague smile that he usually wore.
"That's great, son. Sleep tight." he replied, lifting his hand to ruffle Norm's hair like he always had when he was a boy before continuing down the hall towards his own room.
The whole thing felt strange, but his lingering excitement from before couldn't be extinguished by that one interaction, and by the time he'd made it back to his room, he was back to obsessing over the feeling of her soft mouth on his. His father's reaction wasn't forgotten, but it ceased to matter for the moment. That night, he dreamt of following her into her room, kneeling before her and worshiping her with his mouth as she leaned against the wall, the air filled with the sounds of her pleasure as she moaned out his name.
He got his usual mid-morning start the next day, lingering around his apartment until the last moment in favor of an extended shower masturbation session. His dream was still fresh in his mind, and it was a much-needed relief of pressure. Feeling less tense than before as he made his way to the janitorial closet, he wondered, somewhat melancholic, how long into his day he would have to wait to see her.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, the closet door slid open to reveal her sitting on top of a crate of cleaning chemicals. His gut and back were instantly tense again at the sight of her soft, curvy body reclined there, fiddling with her Pip-Boy as she smirked at him.
"Hey there, handsome."
"Hi." he replied, more demure than he'd wanted. "Looking for something?"
"Actually, one of the things on my list today is to go up and inspect some of the fail-safe wiring around the external door. Pretty sure there are maintenance things up there too, right?" she asked, feigning innocence in a none-too-convincing way. "Wanna come with?"
He agreed eagerly, rifling through one of the tool boxes along the wall until he found a proper wrench, setting it delicately on top of a clipboard with some inspection forms clipped to it.
"Twins!" she said, holding up her own clipboard and digging a pair of pliers out of her pocket.
The younger man smiled at that, and the two of them were largely quiet as they made their way up to the top floor of the Vault proper. When they reached the doors to the elevator that rode all the way to the surface level, he hit the button and stood back to allow her to step in first. She leaned casually against the wall, the scant lighting throwing eerie shadows around her face.
"How'd you sleep?" he asked as the doors shut behind them.
"I slept great. Nice and quiet. Way too early of a start, though. You?"
"Good. Took me a while to get settled down." he replied diplomatically, holding his things to his chest and keeping his head high, feigning some dignity.
"Oh yeah? Lonely?" she teased as her eyes sparkled devilishly at him.
"Maybe a little." he admitted, turning his eyes forward once more and watching her reaction carefully in his peripheral vision; she leaned just a bit closer for the remainder of the slightly creaky ride up.
There was something about being on the uppermost level, being so near the outside, that sent an eerie tingle up his spine. The Vault already had a certain feeling of artificiality at times, like living in a dressed-up rat cage, and being so far removed from the living quarters only intensified it. The only sound here was the hum of fluorescent lights and the whirs and gurgles of the various HVAC and wastewater systems, echoing down into the deep pit that led back into the body of the place.
Very occasionally, a rumbling could be heard from just beyond the massive gear-shaped door, low and grating like a mournful moan. His father had once explained that it was likely sand or debris brushing past the outermost door, a sound intensified in its spookiness by the way the thick layers of steel and concrete warped it. However, his mind kicked up images of radiation-ravaged cannibals, trying their best to scrape and pound their way in, and, no matter how childish it felt, it made him shudder. He was glad he wasn't there alone.
"I heard one of the girls you came here with is pregnant, but I don't remember what her name is." he said as casually as he could manage, both fishing for info and trying to will his nervous mind to grab onto something, anything else.
"Oh, her." she replied, grasping for the name herself as they made their way along the metal walkway. "Yeah, I heard. I'm happy for her, I suppose. Seems fast to me, but I try not to get too involved in conversations like that, otherwise I start getting a huge inquisition about when I'm pushing one out myself."
Norm snorted hard at her candor, and the sound made her titter, echoing through the chamber-like room, mixed with their clinking footsteps as they made their way along the thin metal catwalk.
"I can't say I relate. Discussions about wanting a baby do not usually involve me." he said rather self-effacingly.
"Consider yourself lucky." she said, eyes scanning casually along the wiring that led up to the control panel nearest the big door. "The way they talk to me about my plans for a family gives me the major creeps. I've been tricked into many a 'basic quarterly checkup' over the last few years that ended with me in stirrups being grilled about when I'm going to start having kids."
"Quarterly checkup?" he asked, feeling his eyes bulge out of his head just a bit.
She rolled her own at that.
"I know. Believe me. But you know how it is! They start going on and on about the mission, and 'the future of America lies in a healthy Vault', and all that, and you quickly get to a point where you're willing to do basically anything to make it stop." she said with a sigh.
"Yeah, I guess I get that." he responded dumbly. "They do tend to lay it on thick when they want something from you."
"Do you wanna know what they've tried to convince me is a 'good' number of kids?" she asked conspiratorially, her voice almost a whisper as she turned to fully look him in the eye. She had such an intense gaze that it pinned him in place, silent, for a second too long.
"How many?" he stammered out.
"Six!" she said, her eyebrows so high in emphasis that they nearly disappeared into her hair line before continuing along the way.
"No fucking way." he spat in shock, freezing for a step or two behind her.
She laughed heartily, earnestly, even more beautiful.
"I know! And the craziest part is that they sort of act like six is the ground floor when they say it. I mean, we have a built-in village to help out around here, right?" she asked facetiously, approaching the control panel and running her eyes down the paper. "Wrong! My mother had four, beginning with me, and I basically raised the last one starting around twelve because my parents had two other children to focus on. Kids take a lot of work. I wouldn't have more than I knew I could handle."
He nodded along with her words in silent support, watching her movements. As she spoke, she checked a few things off of the list in her hands before setting it aside, perched precariously along the top edge of the panel, pulling a rag from her pocket and dusting the whole thing lightly. She then set to flipping up the few safety covers that blocked the major buttons and switches, letting her fingers linger along the ones that controlled the only thing that stood between them and the irradiated outside world.
"Do you ever think about leaving?" she asked suddenly, tone rather humdrum in her focus.
Norm wasn't exactly surprised to hear that she, like Lucy, had more curiosity about what it would be like to cut out than the average Vault dweller. She was too intelligent, too analytical to live the entirety of her life in a hole in the ground unquestioningly. However, she was also brave (and possibly foolhardy) enough to seriously consider what striking out and leaving would mean. Sure, Norm may have reserved a not-insignificant part of his brain for daydreaming about what it would be like to be somewhere he felt accepted, but he felt too afraid at the unknown of what lay beyond the door to truly consider it. Besides, he knew that even if he could muster up the gumption to decide to leave, he'd only be a burden on the survival of those around him.
"In theory." he replied after a pause.
She was quiet at that, the slightest hesitation separating his answer from her flipping the covers back into place.
"Can I bum your wrench?" she requested, her hand already outstretched. He placed the one from his pocket into her grip and watched with rapt attention as she easily popped the cover to the access panel on the side of the thing open, crouching down low to reach the bolts closest to the floor. The show of strength stirred something up in him, but he remained quiet as he watched her finish up her inspection, signing off on the form when she was done.
"Alright, everything looks good on my end. Wanna check out the maintenance terminal and get outta here?"
"Absolutely."
His skin crawled in unpleasant anticipation as they made their way back towards the elevators, stopping midway at the HVAC control panel that he was supposed to inspect. He dug the wrench out of his pocket, suddenly wishing she was otherwise occupied.
"I, uh, usually have some trouble opening it." he confessed, but her smile in reply helped soothe his embarrassment.
"Lemme see how you do it." she said.
Swallowing hard, he allowed her to watch him struggle to wrestle one of the bolts loose. When he moved the wrench to the next one, she placed her hand over his, adjusting his grip further away from the head.
"Try that."
Shockingly, the additional leverage helped greatly, and the thing slid loose much easier; he opened the last three in the same amount of time it had taken him to open the first, quietly proud of himself.
"Good job!" she praised, voice peaking high, correcting herself a bit when he tittered in reply. "Sorry, I'm doing the 'mommy voice' my siblings always complain about. I have terminal eldest sister syndrome."
"Well, I suppose that's bound to happen when you're one of four. Or six. Or whatever."
Again, she laughed heartily at his snark as he checked things off his own list.
"I dunno about six. I would like to have a baby, though." she said softly, suddenly studying the series of buttons on the side panel rather closely. "Someday, with the right person."
He nodded quietly, cheeks warm as his eyes flitted around the room. Typically, this was the moment he started to feel women really pull away, the moment when they started to really think about what they wanted for their future and remembered that it wasn't him. They'd sigh dreamily, fantasizing about their future families and staring off into space. However, when his gaze moved back to her, he found her staring straight into his eyes, like she was waiting for a response from him. It took him somewhat aback.
"How do you decide who the right person is?" he sort of stammered out.
She was thoughtfully quiet for a long moment.
"I think I'll just know, you know?"
"I can't lie, that's not a very satisfying answer." he half-joked.
His quip made her cackle for a moment, her weight swaying and leaning against the rail beside her.
"I know. I'm sorry." she laughed, wiping her eyes with the side of one hand. "Do you ever think about having any kids?"
"In theory." he chuckled.
"You're cute." she smirked, leaning in suddenly to plant a series of kisses along his jaw and mouth. The proximity instantly made his knees tremble, and for a brief moment, he stumbled back towards the edge himself.
Her arm wrapped around him protectively, yanking him against her side quickly, his boots squeaking across the catwalk.
"Careful, baby. You're just the right size to go flying under that railing if you try hard enough." she fussed, her grip on him surprisingly tight as she began to rise back to her feet, dragging him along with her.
"Sorry." he muttered, face hot once more in an equal mix of embarrassment and mesmerization.
"Let's get outta here."
The two rode back down in companionable silence, but when they reached the first floor of the actual Vault once more, she gave him a little kiss on the cheek, her eyes sparkling before the two went about the rest of their shifts solo. That night, she came to visit him in his room, a stack of different hacking and programming books tucked into her arms, and the two spent the evening talking about what he wanted to learn about the comms system...thoughts which were difficult to gather and articulate with the way she let her hand massage his thigh.
Lots of their alone time became tutoring time, something he enjoyed much more than he'd thought possible; she obviously enjoyed playing the teacher role, sharing her passion with him, and he loved seeing her flex her know-how. Sometimes she rewarded him for especially impressive performances with kisses, pressing closer than she ever had before, and it made him an ever more eager student.
Eventually, they worked their way up to messing around with real machines, and he was rather flattered when she dragged a unit in pretty bad disrepair all the way to her room so that they could work on it alone. For a few days, they reviewed the different parts, the basic build of the computer, and soon he was confident enough that he asked her to let him do some of the smaller repairs.
"This drive has to be replaced, but I've gotta finish rewiring some of the stuff around it real quick before we can. See?" she asked one evening, hovering close to him and pointing a flashlight into the dark guts of the thing. He nodded, half-confident that he knew what she meant, running a finger along the drive itself to feel where it slid into its place.
"Now, I've gotta turn off the power, so don't touch the--"
The rest of her warning went undelivered as the backs of his fingers brushed right along the frayed edge of one of the live wires, the feeling hot and sharp. He let out a pitiful little yelp as he yanked his hand back, clattering it along the plastic edge of the machine's casing, the burned spot flying to his mouth protectively.
"Aww, poor thing!" she said, reaching out to cut the power to the humming box before quickly moving into the bathroom to rummage around the first aid kit stuck to the wall. He pulled himself up onto his knees, cradling the hand that was paining him to his chest as hot embarrassment encased him.
"Lemme see." she said, cradling a cool rag, a roll of gauze, and a tin of burn ointment in her hand when she returned. She crouched down towards him, but he pulled back.
"It's fine."
She frowned at that, reaching out for his hand once more.
"Just let me look at it real quick." she insisted, her fingers touching his wrist.
"I said it's fine!" he said louder, pushing back and falling onto his rump once more as a result. The fall embarrassed him further, and a warm shock of anger passed through his gut. However, the heat of rage was quickly replaced by the heat of lust as she continued to clatter onto him, pinning his body with the weight of hers. Norm laid there, eyes wide and the rest of him frozen as she rested her ass flush against his hips, one hand wrapping around his other wrist and holding it in place as the other stuck out, empty and waiting to be given what she was demanding.
Slowly, he placed his stinging appendage into hers, and she smiled almost wickedly at his acquiescence.
"Good boy." she said, turning his palm towards the floor.
She might've said something else as a follow-up, but if she did, it was completely drowned out by the way those two words rang through his mind over and over again. He tried his best to focus on her first aid efforts, appraising the reddened back of his fingers, spreading and turning them gently in hers. Unfortunately for Norm, her soft, caring attentions only added more fuel to the fire that had already been smoldering in his gut from simply being in her presence. The problem only continued to increase as she wriggled ever-so-slightly in her move to reach for the supplies once more, the sweet curve of her full ass digging in right where he both wanted and did not need it. She briefly soothed him with the cold rag, and it was the only relief he was allowed. Before she'd even started to applying the little swatch of burn ointment to the reddened skin, he'd begun to grow hard, his eyes flitting to the ceiling in abashed panic.
Mercifully, she either didn't immediately notice his lack of control or was kind enough to ignore it, focusing on tending to the small burn he'd given himself. She didn't say much as she carefully cleaned the skin. At least, that's what it felt like she was doing; he didn't allow his gaze to leave the spot on the ceiling he was fixating on, willing his cock to go down before he both humiliated himself and disgusted her. But no matter how harshly he shamed himself, how hard he dug his teeth into the meat of his cheek and forced himself to think of unpleasant things, it was overridden by his physical excitement.
The way she never seemed to properly still didn't help at all.
"I don't think it really needs to be covered unless you want it to be." she said finally, delicately holding his hand and inspecting her own work absentmindedly. "What do you think?"
He struggled to formulate any sort of reply, but the way she was smirking ever-so-slightly at him when his eyes jumped to her face against his will told him that his silence was an adequate response.
"What's the matter, cutie? Cat got your tongue?" she asked, feigning innocence in that deliciously condescending way as her hand ran further behind her, down his flank and thigh until it found his growing erection, brushing it lightly. "Or is it this?"
"Uh." he let out a truncated groan at the sudden contact. "I'm sorry."
"What're you sorry for?"
Her question confused his scrambling brain, but the soft petting of her hand against him soothed him into placidity; clearly she wasn't offended, and he was content, though tense, to allow her to continue her experimental ministrations. Her face was almost eerily serene, watching him calmly as she teased him. Eventually, she paused the pets, feeling around until she was able to clench his lower zipper between her fingers, working the thing down until she was able to work her hand inside, gently fishing his cock out of his pants and stroking it in the relatively cool air. He was completely floored, convinced he was having an incredibly realistic wet dream, but the weight of her pressing him into the floor, the pressure of her hand around him was all too real.
"Pretty sure I never got the pair of panties I left here back. What'd you do with them?" she asked, her hand maintaining its cruelly slow pace and working him to full engorgement. He could've keeled over completely from sheer abashment in that moment, every nerve of his raw to the wind as she exposed him for what he really was. It had been so long since the incident that he'd assumed she'd forgotten about them. Subconsciously, his eyes flickered over to his bedside table, and her own gaze followed, a sadistic smile stretching across her features as she tightened her grip around him just slightly.
"You're lucky I can't get to them, or I'd shove them in your mouth." she whispered, leaning down so her lips brushed against his own with each syllable. "I bet you'd like that, though. Wouldn't you, you little perv?"
His stomach rolled and clenched as she built him up higher, her steady pace and commanding facade nearly smothering him with eroticism. Never even in his fantasies did he imagine her being like this with him, and he was instantly hooked. The tip of him, deep red in its engorgement, leaked generously, and he sprinted towards the finish as she let her hand pass over it.
"Fuck, fuck..." he whined, his hips bucking futilely under her weight, moving no further into her grip, gaining no additional friction along his aching length. "I'm so close."
"You'd better not." she said firmly, as if she were scolding him for trying to spoil his dinner with treats. Her tone made him groan, his entire face burning.
"Come on, honey. Don't you wanna be good for me?" she whispered, her lips brushing just right along the shell of his ear and sending shocks down his spine, already trembling from the loving way the pet name rolled off her tongue. He whimpered and cried out as he suddenly lost control, covering her hand in his cum as she continued to stimulate him through his overwhelmingly powerful orgasm.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk. I don't think I told you that you could do that, baby." she chastised, tightening her hand around him and stroking him faster, harder. The sensation against his sensitive cock was far too much, and he was quickly writhing and half-fighting back beneath her, his wide eyes filling with genuine tears as he pleaded for her forgiveness.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" he begged, both desperate for her to stop and still rutting against her completely against his will. That seemed to sate her, however, as she gave him a few more hard strokes and then stopped completely, holding him tight at the base for a few seconds longer before releasing him, still leaned over and hiding most of his body beneath hers.
"Did you like that?" she asked, nibbling along the shell of his ear. He nodded pitifully in reply, most of his energy focused on not shuddering his way into more trouble, already more spent than he could ever recall being before. Her hands had become softer, the clean one petting across his chest affectionately.
"You really are lucky that I'm in a good mood today. I can be way meaner than that when I put my mind to it. It doesn't hurt that you're adorable when you beg." she grinned, and he swallowed back a groan at the remark as she used the rag she'd cast off to the side to clean herself before mopping up the errant dribbles that had splattered across his suit. It was fairly unnecessary, but she still took her time cleaning him up, her free hand scratching and petting his back and nape comfortingly as she sat curled up beside him.
He avoided her gaze at first, quite ashamed that she'd managed to unearth this desire of his that had never properly seen the light of day. However, her tender touch was a pleasant balm after how raw he'd been, and after a few minutes he was able to steal a glance at her, moving one hand to rest on her knee. Naturally, she was already watching him; however, he managed to keep his eyes on her face, not flinching away.
"You liked it? For sure?" she asked, less flirtatious and more serious.
He laughed openly at that, the sound throaty and weak as he still struggled to revive himself.
"For sure." he replied, and it seemed to make her relax a bit more, abandoning the rag on the floor and bringing both hands up to cup his face, holding it delicately. Her thumbs rubbed softly along his temples, and he let his lids slide shut
"Boy, you sure seem like you're enjoying yourself." she laughed playfully, his weight lilting further and further towards her touch.
"Shut up." he muttered jokingly, squirming just a bit, but unable and unwilling to pull away.
"You're gonna kick yourself so hard when I tell you that I've been trying to do that to you for months. Gotta quit playing so hard to get, MacLean."
"I dunno if I'd call it 'playing hard to get'." he replied, cracking an eye open at her once more.
Another inscrutable look passed across her features at that, but he wasn't given much time to study it as she leaned in and gave him a series of light pecks across the mouth, drawing a smile from him.
"Do you want me to...?" he asked.
"Oh, I definitely do, but we have places to be, unfortunately." she said, nodding towards the clock ticking away on the wall.
"Ugh."
"I agree, trust me." she sighed, pulling herself up before offering him her hand. "I'll put it on your tab."
His legs were wobbly as he tried to fully right himself, still clenching her hand until he felt he could stand fully. Even then, he hesitated to let go. They left for the town hall separately, his companion slipping out into the hall with a secretive little smile at him as she let the door fall shut behind her. The meeting was nothing special, weekly updates and a few mundane announcements that flew in one ear and out another, all free space in his mind occupied by thoughts of her soft hands on him, the way she'd spoken to him and commanded control of his body like she had. Her presence right across the aisle didn't help.
But, of course, his brain couldn't allow him to simply soak in his pleasurable encounter with a pretty woman; there also had to be a healthy dose of self-doubt and retroactive embarrassment that leaked in, making him worry that he'd made himself look foolish, desperate in front of her. Or worse, that she was playing some sort of game with him, using him to entertain herself while she waited for a proper guy to come along. It wouldn't be the first time he'd entered into an entanglement of questionable intent.
He knew that if he fixed his mouth to claim out loud that any woman, ever, had used him for sex, he'd be laughed out of the Vault. However, that didn't mean it wasn't true.
Most of the women he'd hooked up with in the past were married at this point, or had transferred out to try and luck their way into a spouse after finding their options at home rather unsatisfactory, himself included. But he'd always been at least a little surprised at how easy it was for him to find women who wanted to sleep with him...just as long as he didn't get any ideas about things going anywhere, that is. People in the Vault were prone to boredom in their confinement, and casual sex was a fairly widely accepted way to combat it. But there were only so many potential partners of the desired gender for each person, and that fact bolstered Norm's desirability considerably. Sometimes having the right equipment and not being related to the person was enough for the moment.
Norm was not a breeder, though; that much had been made perfectly clear to him from the first time he'd ever had sex. And sure, the hard, logical part of his brain understood why the women who were willing to sleep with him weren't necessarily eager to settle down or reproduce with him; he wasn't exactly the sort of man that his female peers had been raised to see as desirable. Though he didn't find himself ugly by any means, he was small, not very strong, and not exactly enthusiastic about many of the things that the average young Vault dweller prioritized in their lives. He considered himself a decent lover (when given the time of day, of course), but being able to show someone a good time during the actual act didn't seem to count for as much as he'd thought it might.
It was because of this that his past encounters had often ended rather suddenly, girls pulling away awkwardly when he seemed to toe too close to orgasm during actual sex, or making excuses to leave once he'd already taken care of their needs. Both stung, wounded his already often well-flogged ego, but the latter bothered him a hair less, purely because he didn't enjoy the idea of anyone going all the way with him simply because they felt obligated. He wanted to be wanted, and being with her was the first time he'd truly felt it in his life. She never shied away from his kisses, never acted as if his touch bothered her. When they fooled around, he never felt the invisible wall between them that he always felt with others.
One one hand, he was somewhat grateful to know with certainty that she wasn't just using him for sex. On the other, he felt like he was dying to be inside her. They saw one another almost every night, had intimate physical contact more often than not, but it never went further than a one-sided slam hit to third base. Though he ached for more, he was grateful for what he was given.
Somewhat gradually, the pair of them were more and more open about their relationship. Their evening study sessions continued, her manual motivation continuing in regular intervals until he'd built up some tolerance. Eventually, her lessons became more orally based. The increasing physical intimacy between them showed in how close they often stood, sat. Granted, they'd never really made efforts to hide how close they were becoming, but they'd reached a point where they sometimes held hands when they walked in the hall, attended more socials than not to dance and hold one another close. She even grew comfortable enough to swap seats in the meeting hall, inserting herself in the seat between he and Lucy one morning and drawing even more stares than he'd anticipated. Even Hank seemed to be staring down intensely at the two as he delivered his usual announcements.
That day's meeting dragged on longer than usual, and by the time the two gave one another a quick peck goodbye on their way out the door to their daily assignments, he could swear all the eyes on his back had burned holes in his suit. She was lingering around in the guts of the place for the day, trying to sniff out any weaknesses in the backup life support system. For his part, Norm had to go up top alone, back to inspect the same panel she'd kissed him at before. He was much less excited to do so without her company.
The ride up the rickety elevator was much more nerve-wracking solo, every little sound and weird vibration making him nervous that the blasted thing was about to fall back down the shaft. His posture stiffened even further for a moment when the elevator doors clunked open and he could make out another person at the far end of the catwalk, right up against the door, standing tall with their back to him. He relaxed momentarily when his eyes focused in on the standard-issue blue of a Vault suit, that golden 33 emblazoned on the back, but he felt himself tense again when he realized who exactly he was approaching.
Lieutenant Hall Monitor seemed to be completing some sort of security checklist, a clipboard of his own clutched in hand as he swept his gaze back and forth across the enormous hatch. His aura had been more tense than usual as of late, but this was the first time the two men had been entirely alone.
The guy had never demonstrated before that he cared about Norm's existence, but the way he glared back at him as he tried his best to give him a polite, acknowledging nod communicated new developments on that front. The relative silence, save for the usual hum and whir of uncovered machinery, only fueled the tension. He tried to shake off the nasty look, stopping halfway along the narrowest part of the walkway to check the same HVAC control panel as usual. Crouching down to pop open the face plate, adjusting his grip on the wrench just like she'd shown him, he was making relatively quick work of the whole thing, rushing to get the hell out of dodge and away from the oppressive awkwardness of the situation. Lunch with her would be a welcome way to unpack this ugly incident.
Down the path, the other man finished up his own work, jotting a few things down before ending with a test of the klaxon and light system that was tied to the door. The yellow lights fluttered to life and flashed, the shrill cry of the sirens splitting the air and drowning out every other sound. Noting him making his way back, the younger MacLean slowed his hands, drawing out his work so that the two wouldn't have to share a ride down in the elevator. Security was supposed to wait around until the full test cycle had completed, but Norm didn't necessarily blame him for leaving, between the headache-inducing sirens and the rancid vibe of the room.
As the silent, larger man passed by, though, Norm felt him lean out and check his side, causing him to stumble sideways from his squatted position and very nearly fall, his head sailing beneath the lower hand rail and dangling for a paralyzing beat over the open concrete pit that made up the body of the rest of the Vault; the terrified scream he let out was drowned out entirely by the still roaring klaxon. The fall had to be well over a hundred feet, and peering downwards into it, truly seeing it, his fingers aching sharply as he maintained his grip on the rebar railing, his head spun violently. Flinging himself back with all the strength at his command, he landed rather painfully on his side and temple along the walkway, panting and trembling. The wrench he'd been reaching for tumbled over the edge, not making an audible sound as it sailed to the floor far beneath.
The guy never even stopped, never looked back over his shoulder at the contact. It was only when the elevator doors opened and he stepped inside that he turned and looked at Norm again, his eyes full of absolute hatred as he glared him down, pinning him to the ground with his gaze until the doors slid shut. The alarm stopped a moment later, but the his ears continued to ring, his whole body limp and unresponsive as he laid there, too shocked to move. He didn't feel like he lost consciousness, but seemingly a split second later, a soft, strong pair of hands was trying their best to shake him awake.
"Norm? Norm!"
Her voice was distorted as he came back to himself, his head throbbing painfully
"Sweetheart, what happened? I've been looking for you. Your poor face!" she fussed, touching gingerly around his brow and sending him flinching away.
"Sorry I missed lunch." he replied quietly.
"Come on."
She helped him to his feet and back towards the elevator, holding him up as his head spun. The ride down was silent, heavy, and she helped him slowly make his way to the infirmary. The nurse examined him, checked him for a concussion and deemed him well enough before giving him something for his pain and leaving them alone, the curtain around his bed in the corner drawn tight. He'd told her that he'd fallen doing some repair work and she didn't ask many questions. His companion was silent the whole time, never leaving his side and rarely releasing his hand, but clearly deep in worried thought. Once they'd been left alone a few minutes, she finally spoke up.
"What really happened?" she asked.
He told her as best as he could remember, not mincing words.
"I'm sorry. I won't let it happen again." was her only response except scooting her chair closer to the bedside, both of her hands clasping tightly around his left one. He didn't know what to say to that, still a bit dizzy and rapidly growing sleepy from whatever analgesic he'd been given, so his only response was a mild squeeze to her fingers. Tottering in and out of sleep on the cot, he was vaguely aware of some commotion in the front of the infirmary a while later; though he could barely make out a lot of what was said, some of it filtered though, mostly the few sentences exchanged between a familiar male voice and that of the frustrated nurse.
"You need to let me look at your nose. Please, sit down." she demanded after the scuffling sound of a chair or table skidding a few inches across the floor, the screech of which woke him for a split second.
"Don't touch me. They'll look at it at home. " came the reply, followed by more scuffling and some cursing.
Part of Norm's brain registered the commotion and tried to force him to rise, but he was barely able to squirm as he rapidly fell back into unconsciousness. When he finally felt steady and awake enough to lift his head, he was alone. Checking his Pip-Boy, he confirmed he'd been asleep a few hours, and his legs were wobbly as he tried to right himself. The halls were quiet, abandoned as they usually were in the evenings as people settled in with those they cared about the most. Even the infirmary was empty, the lights all turned off save for a lamp on the reception desk. Some of the furniture was a bit ajar, some bloody tissues filling the trash can nearest the door as he moved towards it. Turning into the hall, he had to pause for a minute to get his bearings and remember which direction the dormitory was.
When the door to her apartment slid open, he found her sat at the dining table, suit tied back around her waist once more and a tired expression on her face as her dominant hand rested in a bowl of ice water.
"Hi." she said, her smile a little less effervescent than usual as he approached. "I was just about to come check on you."
Moving to stand beside her, he took in just how swollen her entire hand was, her knuckles already heavily spotted with black and deep blue. There was an angry tightness in his chest at the sight. Seeing her injured spread a sour taste through his mouth, pulling it into a deeper frown.
"You didn't have to do that for me." he said flatly.
"It wasn't for you. It was for me."
Norm was silent for a beat, his only response.
"Well, that's a fib. It was a little for you, too." she said, her words tinted with guilt. "You don't have to worry, though. He's going back to 32. Honestly, he's probably already gone."
He didn't know what else to say. He'd hurried to her as soon as he'd woken up, but now he had difficulty even looking at her without the rotted core of self-hatred that sat deep inside him screaming out. Every thought of his was tainted with the poison of how worthless he felt compared to everything she could be giving up to be with him. He wasn't worth literally fighting over.
"I'm gonna go back to my room and lie down."
Her brow furrowed strongly at that, and she quickly stood, pulling her dripping, blotchy hand from the water.
"Oh. Okay, sweetie. I'll walk you there." she said, worry leaking its way further into her tone and gaze.
He allowed her that, though he knew he didn't deserve her company, feeling lowly and pitiful as they walked in silence a few halls down and over from hers. When they reached his door, he stopped outside and looked at her.
"Thanks for walking me. I'm gonna get some rest."
She looked disappointed that he was essentially telling her to leave, but, as always, she respected him, nodding softly as her hand reached out towards him.
"Okay. I'll check on you tomorrow. I hope you sleep okay." she said, smiling as best as she could for him.
With that, she turned and made her way back to the short stairs, hesitating for just a moment to cast a glance at him over her shoulder. It made his chest ache, but he held himself back from going to her. All he wanted in that moment was to hide away from the overwhelming embarrassment and shame that threatened to smother him from every angle.
Stripping naked and throwing himself into bed, he winced as he attempted to lie on his usual side and felt the ache of the bruising along his cheek and eye rest against the pillow. He tossed and turned, unable to find a comfortable position or ignore the nagging pain in his face. Though he'd slept a while in the infirmary, it hadn't been of quality, and he was quickly exhausted again, his brain demanding rest and his body too uncomfortable to provide it.
Eventually, he managed to fall into a fitful, light sleep, but his overworked brain immediately threw him into a mix of hardly strung together, stressful thoughts, the image of dangling over that pit running over and over again before his eyes and sending him flailing back awake in a panic. He was coated in flop sweat, his hair damp as he trembled hard. His heart raced.
He was petrified, and he was alone.
Curling back up painfully under the blanket, he toed the awful line between resting enough to experience some sort of recuperation and staying awake enough to stave off the nightmares. Intermittently, he let his mind wander to where he really wanted to be: cuddled up against her chest as she held him through this.
At one point, near dawn, he nearly broke, nearly drug himself back to her, the knowledge that she would let him in even if she'd been dead asleep a massive temptation. However, she deserved better than to see him the way he was in that moment. When a more appropriate hour finally, blessedly arrived, he barely took the time to dress himself before hustling out the door, desperate to see her, to apologize for pushing her away even a little because of his own fragile ego. He was ready to give her all of himself, including the parts he wasn't so proud of.
However, he didn't quite make it there, as the moment his door opened, he was greeted by the sight of his father, leaning somewhat casually against the wall and smiling as he nearly ran right into him.
"Morning, son. Let's have a little powwow in my office." he said, clapping his hand across his thin shoulder.
Norm didn't protest, simply allowed himself to be pulled along on an almost entirely silent walk to the administrative wing. Multiple people greeted the older man as they passed by, many bidding for more time with him later. One or two attempted to initiate longer conversation with him as the pair walked, and Hank expertly delayed them, sending them away satisfied with a smile. The entire time, he hardly cast a look at his son, simply kept that hand resting on shoulder to ensure he didn't disappear.
Eventually, the two entered the large suite of connected spaces that made up the Overseer's office. He was guided into the chair directly across from the big desk, feeling smaller by the moment as his father slid into his own chair a few feet away.
"How're you feeling?" he asked after a pause.
"My face hurts, honestly. I didn't sleep very well. Dreamt I was falling." his son replied honestly, every nerve in his body raw in more ways than one.
"Aww, poor thing." the Overseer replied, and it was almost, almost like he was mocking him. "Hopefully you'll mend up soon."
Norm didn't have a fast enough response to that, and he quickly moved on.
"Well, as I'm sure you've heard, one of our newest security officers has decided to transfer back to Vault 32."
"I did hear about that." he replied carefully.
That earned him a smile, a correct answer in the bag.
"You understand the importance of what we're doing here. I know how smart you are. It's important that we utilize everyone we have to the best of their ability here, right?"
He nodded along obediently, his heart rate slowly ticking upwards.
"Well, we can't afford to lose good personnel over interpersonal drama."
There was a hard silence after that, Norm's brain overheating as he tried to reason away the realization that was beginning to dawn on him. He'd been brought here for a very specific reason.
Good personnel?
"I don't understand. I'm the bad guy here because that jerkoff decided he wanted to run off back home?"
That caused the first crack in his father's pleasant facade, his smile falling for a solid second before returning, softer, less applied.
"It's important that we all work to get along here. You know that. I simply cannot have you starting drama and getting into fights over girls. It's really not becoming of a young man in your position." his father said, delivery not unlike when he had to chastise the whole Vault for something, sympathetic but deeply detached.
"Fights? Drama? Dad, he tried to kill me."
"Oh, Norm. Now you're being a little dramatic, no?" Hank replied, his eyes actually rolling skyward at his son's claim.
"Absolutely fucking not! He pushed me and I very nearly fell! Check the cameras!" Norm shot back, his voice shooting up an octave in pure, shocked outrage.
"First of all, watch your mouth. I know I taught you better than that." his dad glared for a moment. "Secondly, I already checked them. I'm sure it felt very scary in the moment, but he bumped you, you over-corrected, and you fell down. It really is that simple, bud. I know it's embarrassing, but no one almost died."
"Dad, I know this whole thing's been a lot, but I don't think I've done anything wrong. Us being together won't cause any more issues, I promise." he shot back, face growing hot at the desperation leeching its way in.
"The two of you just aren't a good fit, kiddo."
"I don't think that's true at all." he refuted, nearly begging.
"And I understand that you believe that. Sometimes it's hard to see the truth when it comes to ourselves."
His words stung more than the young man had previously thought anything could.
"So...you expect me to go break up with my girlfriend because you don't think we're a 'good fit'? That's the purpose of this meeting?" he asked, not stammering in his flustered state for once in his life. He stared straight into his father's face, unblinking, bolder than he'd ever been as his panic began to morph into blanked out anger.
The smile that touched Hank's lips once more was the same one he'd seen a million times since childhood; the one that had greeted him each morning, soothed his many worries, warmed his bad days. The one that had comforted him when his mother had died. But for the first time, he could see it clearly, that glint of scorn in his father's eye, and it was directed right at him.
"I expect you to do what's best for everyone, and I know that I've raised you to know what that is." the elder man said, rising once again from his place behind his desk and moving to seemingly tower over him. His tone was hard, final. "The purpose of this meeting is for me to tell you that I believe you'll do the right thing."
The grip of his hand around the smaller man's upper arm was shockingly painful, and he swallowed back a sharp complaint as he was basically dragged to the exit of the Overseer's work quarters. None of what was happening felt real as he was thrust back out into the hall.
"Talk to you later, kiddo. I've got work to do."
And with that, Hank MacLean allowed his office door to slide shut in his son's face.
Norm stood there in complete shock for a moment, half-expecting to wake up from this incredibly unsettling dream he was having any moment. But he didn't have that sort of luck. His boots felt like they were full of lead as he made his way towards her apartment; it was as if he was marching to his demise, walking the plank with a sword right at his back, and for the first time in his life it seemed as if everyone he passed stared at him. He absentmindedly wondered just how much everyone else knew, but a deep part of him knew his rumination to be completely useless; naturally, everyone probably knew everything the moment it happened.
Hesitating for a full minute, he actually knocked on her door, which she clearly found odd by the confused expression she wore when the thing opened. She had her suit tied down around her waist and her hair tied up in her usual leisure time style. Seeing her effortless beauty broke his heart.
"Hey, what's up?" she asked, doing away with niceties as her heckles were clearly raised.
A second passed, then two, and he still couldn't force himself to speak.
"What's going on, Norm?" she asked, her voice full of worry.
The words wouldn't come, neither the ones he was supposed to say, nor the ones he truly wanted to. He tried his hardest to force them forward, to stop being so fucking scared, but it was as if his jaw was rusted shut. A light sweat glistened on his brow.
"Come in, hon." she said quietly, moving to his side and placing her hands softly on his shoulders, steering him in through the doorway and guiding him over towards the couch that was almost identical to his. She clasped his hands in hers and he tried to handle her bruised appendage carefully as they both sank down onto the broken-in cushions. She didn't prompt him to say or do anything else, patiently sitting in the somewhat tense silence as he tried to collect himself, and he stared hard right into the face of the woman who was trying to comfort him, the woman he loved. The one he'd been sent here to end things with because he simply did not deserve her. He felt as much as he took in the disquiet in her eyes, the concern for him and his wellbeing that he hadn't seen for even a moment from his own father.
She caught his gaze for a moment as it danced around the room in panic, and the worried look that painted her face sent his stomach dropping like a stone in guilt. It was all too much, and suddenly he was sobbing, his vision quickly blurred with tears and then completely obscured by his hands coming to cover his face in shame.
Of course he was crying. He couldn't grow enough of a spine to tell his father what he really thought, nor could he suck it up enough to just fall in line and do what he was told. Instead, he did nothing; his life felt like it was suddenly and totally falling apart around him, and all he could do was fucking cry.
"Hey." she murmured, almost immediately pulling her hands away so she would wrap her arms around him.
The plush mass of her breasts against his chest cushioned him as she patted at his back, the familiar smell of her encompassing him, his racing heart slowing just a touch. Norm shifted himself a bit, unconsciously leaning closer, drawn towards her warmth and almost maternal softness. As he moved, the building pressure in his gut was suddenly brought to his attention, and searing humiliation washed over him. The feeling didn't improve when she petted at the back of his head tenderly, pressing his face further into her neck. The heat from his cheeks must have been palpable to her, he thought, burning against her skin.
For an indeterminate number of minutes, she let him fuss and sniffle without a word, and eventually the world felt a little less like it was literally about to end, a small, hot coal of embarrassment firing up in his core. Displacing, he pressed a few soft kisses along her shoulder, and she hummed approvingly. His face was the perfect height to fit into the crook of her throat, and he drank in her smell greedily as his lips sealed themselves to the warm skin there. A surprised gasp left her, trailing off into an airy moan as his tongue began to massage the flesh in his mouth; the sound made his cock jump, and he was suddenly, intensely aware of just how hard he really was. With a finger under his chin, she guided his mouth up to hers and kissed him deeply. Their bodies were pressed as close as possible in their fight to claim one another's mouths, and his entire being felt hot with embarrassment at the way his erection was suddenly grinding into her stomach, but he couldn't pull himself away from her.
Besides, the way she led his hands to her breasts, squeezing them over the soft masses until he was mimicking her motions and moaning as he did, told him she didn't mind.
He was eternally grateful that he didn't have to wrestle with her upper vault suit, far too worked up to navigate the zippers and snaps. The white undershirt she wore was quickly rucked up; the exposed skin of her lower throat and chest drove him mad, her torso completely bare save for the beige-colored, standard brassiere she wore beneath. Lost in the fever pitch of their kisses, he felt bold enough to push the thing out of the way, crowding it up towards her collarbones along with her shirt hem. She cried out as the band caught over her peaked nipples, and the sound made him hum deeply in his throat, his head dropping heavily to her chest.
She had much larger areolas than he'd imagined she would, and something about that little surprise really turned him on, the darkened circles standing in delicate contrast against the rest of her chest. The skin was velvety against his tongue, and it made him greedy, sucking the entire tip of her breast into his mouth harshly. That earned a sharp whine from her, and it made him pull back just a hair's breadth. The sound she'd made was incredibly sexy, but he didn't relish the idea of hurting her.
Time as an overall concept was lost to Norm as he hovered over her, trying his best to not let his bony appendages dig into her soft body as he lathed her entire chest in attention, sucking and nipping and rubbing softly, the warm globes large enough to fill each of his hands entirely. She relaxed back onto the couch fully, elevated up against the arm just enough to watch as he bathed her with his mouth, cooing and scratching his scalp gently. The sensation of her nails on him made him throb even harder, and he moaned around the nipple in his mouth.
Eventually, though, her hands slipped down from his head and rubbed affectionately across his chest; it took him a surprisingly long time to fully process that she was working his suit open, struggling with the intricate inner snaps just like he would've. He tried his best to hold himself up enough that her hands could reach between them, but that was all the aid he was able to offer. Eventually, she succeeded, pulling the zipper down as far as his navel, reaching inside and running her nails along his chest, scraping between his pectorals through the sleeveless shirt he wore beneath.
Electricity running along his spine once more, he kicked his boots off, the heavy things clattering to the floor as he pulled himself down onto the dense rug as well, scooting towards the couch. He encouraged her to sit back up, his hands tugging at her waist until her tailbone rested along the edge of the frame, her thighs encasing his small body. Lifting her leg with her help, he ran his lips along her inner thigh, drawing a licentious giggle from her as she squirmed at the ticklish sensation, wriggling her way down a bit further so she could lift her hips towards him, watching him closely as he continued to tease her.
Well, truth be told, it wasn't entirely teasing. Part of it was, sure; it was pretty addictive to be the person getting to touch and taste her, to be the one drawing the sounds she was making out of her. He'd been at her mercy so many times, and it was empowering to have turned the tables, at least for a moment. But, at the same time, part of his brain was also simply short-circuiting at being given the access to her body that he'd been literally dreaming about for months.
"Ah, fuck." she breathed as he let his lips ghost over her mound, over the incredibly damp gusset of her underwear, both of them shuddering. His head was already spinning as he was immersed deep in the familiar, concentrated musk of her, and he was unable to hold himself back much longer, fingers moving to pull the cloth to the side. Hesitating only a moment, letting his warm, harsh breath blow across her already swollen clit, her entire body was tense as he first let his tongue peek out to taste her.
Whimpers rang out from her as his tongue softly traced over her most sensitive place, lapping at her carefully as he spread her open a little more, slipping his tongue further into her folds. She gasped, her hips slowly beginning to rock. Her movement drove him crazy, and his self control teetered on the edge as a result.
Licking her greedily, desperate for more, he tried his best to tug her as close as he could get her. Fortunately, she registered this desperation, her free hand moving to press gently, but firmly, into the back of his head, smothering him just right between her thighs. Thanks to the taste of her, her reactions, and the increasing lack of oxygen, his erection was throbbing rapidly, trapped painfully between his suit leg and his thigh. The hand that wasn't occasionally playing with her clit moved to press at it, relieving some of the unbearable pressure that was building as he slowly stroked himself back and forth over the fabric. His partner was far too busy bucking her hips into his face to notice, the hand on the back of his head pressing him harder and harder to her cunt as she basically rode his nose, the tip and far end of the bridge slipping slickly back and forth across her swollen bud. He made absolutely no move to resist or readjust, only lapping at what he could reach as she rode closer and closer to her climax. His tongue slid back towards her puckered second hole, pulling a sharp giggle from her as he stroked the tip along the quivering ring of muscle.
During their past trysts, it had been rare for her to be the receiving partner. Whether that was because she didn't feel comfortable in that role, or because she felt very comfortable being the one in control, he had been unable to discern. She had occasionally rubbed herself along his thigh or crotch when they'd messed around, but he'd always perceived that as less of a way to make herself feel good and more of a way to tease him. Now, though, she eagerly welcomed whatever he was willing to offer her, both of them working in narrowly-focused tandem towards their shared goal.
"Just like that." she sighed, sharp and airy, tensing noticeably as he sealed his mouth over her and lapped at the same spot repeatedly with the tip of his tongue.
Norm tried his best to avoid speeding up or losing his rhythm in the wave of excitement he felt at knowing he was pleasing her, taking as deep a breath in as possible as she continued to smother him between her thighs. His cock ached almost oppressively as she bore down on him harder, harder, until suddenly she let out a quiet gasp, hips and abdominals twitching hard as the taste of her grew stronger in his mouth.
It seemed like she wriggled and whimpered for a long time, but the lack of oxygen to his brain may have simply made it feel that way. Every fiber of muscle in his body burned with the effort of keeping himself in his spot, continuing the same motions until she stopped him with a soft palm.
"Fuck, Norm." she sighed, smiling as her head fell lax behind her.
He snapped out of his place on the floor at that, like a well-trained dog given a clear command. He was almost aware enough to be embarrassed at the way he pounced on her, trying his best to not trample her completely as he pulled himself back up onto the couch, the frame giving out a little strained squeak at the sudden addition of his weight. Sealing his lips back to her throat, now slicked and salty with sweat, he guided her down onto her back, flat on the cushions, and she followed his lead, her still-watery eyes shining excitedly.
Norm wrestled his sleeves down, shucking his suit to the waist and cramming it down to his hips; her feet came up along his flanks and pushed the thing the rest of the way towards his ankles. As he kicked the mass of cloth to the ground, her fingers played along the waistband of his underwear, teasing ticklishly along until they slipped beneath, grasping his erection softly and making him moan rather loudly as his last garment was wrestled out of the way.
He was too aroused to be all that self-conscious about being completely naked in front of her, something that was not common practice for him. Instead, he was entirely focused on the breathtaking view before him, her plush body laid out before him, basically begging for him just like he'd dreamed about again and again. Goosebumps were still raised along her arms as she shifted a little, moving to pull off her own remaining bit of coverage. Something moved him to cover her hands with his own, and together they slid her panties down to her ankles, Norm working them the last few inches past her feet and dropping them to the floor.
"I want those ones back, perv." she teased, and he laughed earnestly as he lowered himself down to kiss her again.
"You're so beautiful." he whispered.
Both of them groaned when the tip of him first nestled up against her, the heat of her folds even more intense than he'd ever imagined. Letting himself indulge in a bit of his own teasing, he rocked his hips back and forth, allowing his cock to bump and nudge against her puffy clit. Unfortunately, he lacked the determination to draw out the turnabout he was attempting to give her, and quickly he was reaching between them to seek out her opening.
"Yes, yes, yes..." she breathed over and over like an elated prayer when he began to apply pressure with his hips in just the right place.
He wanted so badly to bury himself to the hilt inside her in one swift move, but he fought hard to resist the urge, pressing about halfway inside before pulling back, gently pistoning himself deeper until he was buried as far as her body would allow him to go. A deep, long-held breath escaped his lungs, his spinning head falling weakly towards her shoulder as he allowed them both a moment of adjustment; he was afraid of accidentally hurting her somehow in his excitement, but most of his worry stemmed from the fear of losing control long before he was ready and embarrassing himself. The latter possibility loomed larger over him than the former as her strong, pliable body wriggled beneath him.
She was almost eerily silent as he carefully shifted the bulk of his weight from knee to knee, but he found himself afraid to steal a glance at her face. His heart raced at the at the feeling of her around him, at the fear that any moment she'd come to her senses and reject him at last. But her softly calloused hands smoothed their way up the planes of his back, wrapping themselves up under his arms and coming to rest atop his narrow shoulders, holding him close against her. That little bit of affection was enough to ease his nerves, and he allowed his hips to move a little faster as a result.
"Mhm." she grunted as he slowly began to fuck her properly, keeping his face mostly hidden in the crook of her neck in trembling concentration. That one small sound spurred him on, hands moving to softly grope at her breasts and tummy, the plush flesh in his hands making him throb hard inside her. Soon, she was letting a whole litany of sighs and whimpers loose, each sound vibrating its way down his spine and leaving his grasp on his self-control tenuous. He tried in vain to pull back from her a bit, sucking in fresh air by the lungful, but he was already lost in her, melting at the way she clung back to him, fluttering around him and making him whine.
She nuzzled up under his chin in response, made him feel substantial and masculine and desired, and it only made it more difficult to govern himself, his grip digging so hard into the arm rest of the couch above her head that his fingers ached, using the leverage to fuck her as forcefully as his small frame would allow him to. The woman beneath him let out a guttural grunt at that, her hands flying to his back, nails digging into his sparse flesh in an attempt to steady herself. The stinging trail of pain that her touch left bloomed down his spine and only spurred him on harder, the hand that wasn't tearing into the couch arm moving between them to roll her throbbing clit between his fingers. Quickly, that stimulation had her huffing along with him, their bodies hot and sticky against one another.
"Shit, I'm--" he muttered as she arched her back high and hard.
"Yes!" she gasped, her hips grinding even more passionately against his and tightening the knot that was growing at his core. Mesmerized by her tear-filled eyes and pouty lips, he dropped his mouth back to hers and they kissed one another breathless. Just before he tipped over the edge into his orgasm, he yanked himself back, fisting his slick cock fast and hard until he exploded all over her, painting her soft tummy and inner thigh with spurt after spurt of his warmth. She whimpered at the feeling, fingers rubbing harsh circles around her clit until she was spasming hard.
The heat of her sweat-slicked, nude body encompassed his own as he laid himself softly against her in the afterglow, her rumpled hair soft against his face, his head tucked up underneath her chin. The small apartment was quiet for a long moment, both of them trembling as they tried to slow their heavy, rapid breaths. He braced himself for her to pull away, to cover herself and shut him out, but she didn't move outside of pulling herself into a sitting position beside him, his head on her shoulder.
"I really like you." he said suddenly, the words materializing almost out of nowhere.
"I really like you, too." she replied, running her hand softly, lovingly up and down his bare back.
For a few minutes, no one said anything more, both simultaneously enjoying the glow and worrying away about the still-concealed source of tension.
"So." she said eventually, playing distractedly with his dampened hair, "Are you gonna tell me what you came down here for?"
Despite the lingering heat between their bodies, Norm felt himself break into goosebumps at her query. He forced himself to look at her, steeling himself against the anguish that was still stirring, sour and potent, in his gut. There would be consequences for this, and he knew it.
"My dad pulled me into his office and advised me to tell you that we can't see each other anymore." he spat out so quickly that it was almost unintelligible.
For an extended moment, her only response was silence. She didn't even blink.
"What are you thinking about that advice?" she asked, her face unreadable. Though he sort of expected her to ask why, she did not. He didn't know how it made him feel.
"Well, 'advised' is doing a lot of work in that statement." he replied with some levity.
She laughed at that, seemingly despite herself.
"Norm." she said simply, her tone firm. She refused to let him joke his way out of discussing his feelings and it made him squirm in his place.
"I don't want to stop seeing you."
That made her smile, but he could still see something off in her gaze as she scooted a bit closer to him, their bare hips touching.
"I don't wanna stop seeing you, either." she sighed. "But honey, I don't wanna cause any problems between you and your dad. It'd tear me up."
"Eh, my dad is used to me not doing what he wants. One more disappointment won't be that much of a surprise." he replied, trying his best to make himself believe it, too. True, Hank had watched his son fail to meet his expectations his whole life, but he'd never been openly defied like this. The younger man had no basis to determine how his father might react.
"Well, good." she smiled, and it almost seemed as if she was buying his bluster. "I'm too stubborn to actually stop seeing you, anyway."
"Same."
Things fell into silence again after that, the two young people cuddled up close on the couch that had probably been used by ten different people, a slight chill setting in as the heat of their activity slowly began to wear off.
"Quite the mess you've made here." she mused eventually, her fingers sliding through the rivulets of him that cut across her belly and slid into the crease of her inner thigh. The sight made his gut tighten again instantly.
"Sorry about that." he mumbled sheepishly. "I didn't know if--"
"It's fine."
She cut him off with a sweet kiss, pulling him against her breast for a moment as she held him tight. His pulse raced at the affection, the intimacy she was willing to share with him, and it drove him to press back just as enthusiastically.
Of course, there was an ugly little nugget of worry, as well, one that soured his stomach as it turned over and over in his mind, distracting him as she massaged the base of his skull, her other hand clasping his. What if she was only choosing him because everyone else wanted her to do otherwise? What if she only liked him so much because he lacked every quality she'd been told was important? What if he was her big "screw you" to the rest of the Vault and their expectations?
It was something he might do, frankly, if he found himself in her position.
"I really am sorry about tearing your back up, honey." she murmured, pulling him a few degrees away from his worries and leaning close enough to peer over his shoulder at his nagging wounds, laying a kiss or two along his shoulder.
"Don't stress about it. I kind of liked it." he grinned, turning his head quickly to place a soft peck on her cheek in return, his whole body trembling a bit as he pulled away.
"Still, I'm sure they hurt." she smirked.
"Eh, not much. The ones on my ass sting a little..." he said, mostly joking.
"No! Did I really get you that bad? Let me look."
"Aht, aht, aht." he chided playfully, wrapping his arms around her waist to keep her in place. "Don't worry about it. I'm enjoying you where you are, if I'm honest."
That made her grin, wide and filthy and just a little silly, and she leaned down to press her swollen lips against his own, clamoring just a bit further into his lap. It started out sweet, simple pecks whose crisp sound split the air between them, but she quickly began to linger, their kisses growing longer and more deliberate. Soon, they were back to trying to consume one another, her hips grinding against against his sensitive nether regions as her legs framed him on either side.
He almost protested when she reached between them and gripped his half-soft cock, embarrassed at his flaccidity and the sound he made, but he was just hard enough that she was able to sink down on him almost completely. Another whimper escaped him at the feeling of her tight heat around his too-sensitive cock once more, and he buried his face in her chest in a desperate move to muffle it. She chuckled, hands cupping the back of his head with a light touch as she began to grind softly back and forth on top of him once again, the stimulation only making him swell more.
"You're gonna have to keep up with me, cutie." she murmured into his ear as her teeth slid along the shell, making him fully tremble and harden even further. He moaned loudly at the sensation, burying his face in her chest for another beat.
"I can certainly try." he huffed in joking reply, his own hips beginning to find a rhythm beneath her.
He'd been afraid that he'd been too hard on her with the pace and force of his thrusts when he'd been on top, but the way she fully slammed herself down onto him, making it difficult to properly fuck back up into her, dispelled those worries for the most part. She was putting on quite the show; whether for his benefit or purely for hers, he couldn't really tell, but he certainly wasn't going to waste what little brainpower he had access to pondering it too hard. Instead, he enjoyed watching her pinch and roll her nipples between her thumb and forefinger, alternating between each breast with one hand, the other preoccupied playing with her clit. Moaning low and quiet, she rocked harder and harder on top of him, quickly working herself into a whining lather. One particular pinch must've felt especially good, as she clenched around him hard and began to quiver, the hand that wasn't playing with her folds fisting hard in his hair.
With that, he followed her into that blinding haze, his hips trapped beneath hers as they bucked and jerked out completely out of his control, fingers digging little craters into her plush hips as he whimpered out his end. His second orgasm was somewhat weaker than the first, but it still reduced him to a limp mess as his head lulled back against the rounded couch back, his eyes trained on hers as she followed, her fingers playing fast and harsh against her slit as she tensed. The way her body tightened and gripped around him as she came made him cry out in overstimulation, and she let out a little chuckle as she leaned down to kiss him deeply, swapping the lingering taste of her back and forth along their tongues as he emptied himself completely inside of her.
The two paused, her sweaty forehead against his as they smirked serenely at one another.
"C'mere." she panted, digging her legs in behind him and flipping the both of them so she was on her back once more, holding him. Her strength made him blush, the heat running up into his scalp in little prickles. There was a lengthy silence as they laid there, wrapped up in one another's shaky, slick arms, him resting along her chest and soaking up her heat through every possible inch of his body, right down to the way he remained sat deeply into the silken clench of her still-fluttering cunt. Norm knew that there was no certainty in how tomorrow would go; the only certainty was in this moment, wrapped in her arms and buried inside her. The comfort he felt was too good to end, and he let himself go fully lax, his head coming to rest along her sternum, nestled in the warmth between her breasts as she wrapped her arms around his torso, letting her hands play softly in his hair as his eyelids slowly slid shut.
For a short while, he fell into inky, dreamless sleep, though a light one. There was no falling, no jolting back into cold, trembling consciousness with a racing heart. No tears. He could still hear the clock ticking along somewhere in the back of his mind, the white noise of the air filtration system. The rise and fall of her chest beneath him was steady and slow. Eventually, he heard her mumble something to him.
"I think you're falling asleep." she said.
"I think you're falling asleep." he shot back, jesting, voice thick with sleep as he forced himself to sit up most of the way. His vision was bleary for a moment as he took in her peaceful expression, the little red mark on her chin where it had been resting against the top of his head.
"Nah, I'm just thinking."
Hesitating for a beat, perfectly content to live the rest of his life settled between her thighs, he withdrew gently, swallowing back a grunt at the loss of the warm clench of her around him. His lover sighed, arching her back in a small stretch. Silently, he reached down with a steady hand to pet at her inner thigh, awkwardly but affectionately. Her hand rested carefully on top of his, her thumb stroking at his skin.
Norm's eyes danced all along her body, drinking in the beauty of her one more time before she inevitably put her clothes back on, before things grew more complicated and precarious. A jagged breath caught in his chest when his gaze landed between her legs, taking in the swollen folds peeking out at him, the glint that hinted at a hidden mess. Watching him, she parted her legs a few inches wider so he could look closer, her fingers moving to grip the flesh of her inner thigh. He sighed out a soft groan as a thin trickle of pearlescent stickiness ran from her opening, following the curve of her ass.
Frozen in place, he could feel his grip on her leg tightening as her fingers slid down further, slipping through the stickiness audibly. Her eyes didn't leave his as she curled those fingers inside of herself, pressing what he'd given her back where he'd laid it. His breathing ceased entirely for a moment as he watched her, head spinning at the implications of her actions. When she finished, she leaned forward to capture his lips in maybe the most tender kiss they'd ever shared.
"Wanna go talk to your dad?" she asked when she pulled away, wiping her soiled fingers across her stomach.
The familiar tug of cowardly panic in his chest was instantaneous, an icy stab straight behind his breastbone. But for once, his fear didn't consume him, freeze him uselessly as things unfolded around him. Something about her presence, the tender way she looked at him, held him, let him love her with no shame, quelled his worry into nothing but a quiet thrum in the background. The ache was present, but not enough to stop him from doing what he knew he had to. His hand didn't tremble as he offered it to her, helping her to her feet.
"Let's go."
#can you tell I've been thinking about heavy petting a lot lately?#norm maclean#norm maclean smut#norm maclean x reader#norm maclean x female vault dweller#fallout prime#fallout tv show#submission
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Ooooh could you do a continuation or the likes for that one Ice King x Reader?
https://www.tumblr.com/itsthesinbin/728472237009780736/okay-but-how-do-ice-king-and-reader-meet-did
By the sounds of it the two knew each other before :>
i did a sort of continuation here, but i am MORE than glad to do more of this lil au. this got. a lot longer than i thought it would. but maybe they Did know each other. just a little.
Ice King (Adventure Time)
Dating the Ice King was... odd, to say the least. He was hard to be with at first. He was clingy. He was manic. He could be a little aggressive- not dangerous, just cranky- if you ended up ignoring him for too long; too long being subjective to his needs that day. He was unbelievably frustrating.
But at the same time... he was, strangely, the nicest guy you've ever dated. He'd get cranky, but once he saw you weren't leaving him he didn't push you. He was clingy, but it was because he was lonely. He was manic, but you knew it wasn't his fault. He brought you gifts ranging from flowers to gems to even making ice sculptures in your likeness. It was flattering.
He had made a little ice elevator to get you into the castle easier, when you visited. And by Glob he was always delighted to see you. Every time he heard the elevator chugging its' way up the mountain, you could hear him.
"Gunther they're coming- is there anything in my beard?" he'd ask, followed by a little "wenk". You'd come up just in time to see the little penguin pecking something out of his master's beard. Then Gunther would waddle over to you, making Ice King screech in surprise and try to rub whatever food was in his beard out. You bit back a snort as you picked up your favorite little guy.
"You look fine, IK, calm down," you laughed. He grumbled, flustered and fixing his crown. You grinned as you set the penguin down. You gave him a hug in greeting, and as always he was a little tense before returning it tightly.
"So, what'd you wanna show me?" He had asked you to come over cause he found something "wicked sweet". That seemed to click the lightbulb on.
"Oh yeah! C'mon, sweet thang," he laughed as he yoinked you up like you weight nothing. You yelled in surprise, holding onto him as he flew through the castle. You couldn't help but laugh as well, enjoying the short flight.
"This is my "the past" room- you are the ONLY person aside from Gunther I've let in here," he explained as he set you down. You looked around at all the old stuff in awe, recognizing a lot of it immediately from your time period. You heard him fiddle with some things as you picked through the items.
The old suit jacket he'd give you to wear when you were cold- which you immediately put on as per usual. Some old books- a few of which were written by a Simon.... Petrikov. That sounded familiar...
Then it clicked. You used to live just down the street from him. You used to attend the same book club together, before he stopped coming due to his research. You remember him showing off a book he had gotten published to the group before he stopped joining as often. You'd make him food and check in on him, when Betty couldn't.
"Where is that damn thing?" you heard Ice King mutter. You looked at the jacket you were wearing, turning the book over. A picture of Simon, wearing the exact same jacket.
While your boyfriend was busy, you sifted through the junk pile. Newspaper clippings covered in mad scrawling that spelled out pleas for help and forgiveness. Multiple pictures of Simon and letters written by him to various people. A picture of a young, but now familiar, girl with writing on the back. You stared at another newspaper clipping, a ball of ice in your stomach unrelated to the cold of the ice kingdom. Simon stood next to a sickeningly familiar crown that sat upon a cushion, smiling as wide as can be at his discovery.
A familiar jingle jolted you out of your thoughts and you dropped the article. You whipped around to see Ice King standing next to a cracked tv that was now playing Cheers. He waved his hands in a "tada" motion.
"I got a bunch of old junk from WAAAAY back in the day, so I thought you'd like a little marathon! I can go make popcorn," he offered with a grin. Your mouth hung open as your eyes darted from him to the old tv show. You tried to speak, but all that came out was a soft sobbing noise as realization set in. Immediately, his face fell.
"Oh- What, do you not like this show? I can, uh... I'm sure I got something-!" You cut him off by nearly tackling him in a hug. You held him so tight, knuckles turning white as you gripped the fabric of his robe. Your knees felt weak, giving out and making him drop to the floor with you.
"M... Man, if I knew you liked the show this much, I'd have done this sooner," he tried to joke, not really understanding why you were crying. Thankfully, he just held you and scooted around so you both could see the tv. Not that you really watched it, being too busy reeling from your newfound knowledge.
Gunther, sweet as can be, brought in popcorn and plopped his little self in your lap. You could use the extra comfort. You felt Ice King's hand run up and down your back, and new he was taking glances at you to see if you were alright. For his sake, you pretended to watch the show and forced down some popcorn. He seemed to relax a little, thinking you were fine. You were anything but. However...
What could you even do?
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The Story/Secret of Us
So I believe I may have just solved a major piece of the puzzle and finally figured out WHY the tortured poets have been sending us these anonymous messages to help us solve it. I think this entire rabbit hole is a gift to us true fans which is why we got all of those cryptic present 🎁 anon messages. Alllll of these songs are dedicated to us (except for So High School and I will explain why I think this in more detail later). THIS is The Story or Secret of Us. The "secret" is this rabbit hole of connections and this secret language or code of symbols and metaphors we've all learned how to speak (sunshine/daylight/gold/yellow = Karlie/being out of the closet/queer love/happiness, 3 = Speak Now, orange = karma, etc). The "us" is the tortured poets and us true fans who share this secret language.
Another important part of understanding this puzzle is that some of these songs are time sensitive 🕰️ and like a prophecy (The Prophecy) waiting to be fulfilled. So after a certain point, some songs can no longer be applied bc that "scene" in the movie has already passed (If This Was A Movie). They want us to essentially play our part in the story they've written. Right now we are playing the part of Paul Revere or Cassandra warning swifties of what's coming (likely on Sept 28). And we're also acting as Taylor's wings/angels catching her when she falls off her pedestal (see this post). They want us to think of these moments when we listen to these songs bc they want them to be personally relatable bc that's part of our gift. I think this is what Taylor meant when she said
"Let me tell you my secret little dream for this evening. These are songs that I have written about my life or things I've felt at one point in time, whether I was a teenager, in my 20s, or a couple yrs ago. But after tonight when you hear these songs out and about in the world, my dream is that you're gonna think about tonight and the memories we made here together" (x)
and what present anon meant when they said
"Reach those lanterns a little bit higher. For you shall receive a metaphor so dire" (x).
"Then the actors (us true fans and the tortured poets) were hitting their marks and the slow dance was alight with the sparks and the tears fell in synchronicity with the score" // "It's a normal thing to fall in love with movie stars when the lights are low and red at all their favorite bars. And the story you want is the story you get. Are you special or was this all scripted in his head?...Don't worry, I know I'll see you again. Uh-huh, you'll make me cry when it comes to an end. You were all that we hoped (The Prophecy), but I can't recommend getting close, I should've known, but I'll see you again" (x). The tortured poets have invited us to "dance" with them by being a part of this movie. If we accept this invitation, then we essentially become the muse of these songs.
I think Gracie playing In Between as a surprise song on 9/19 was an easter egg for Lizzy’s song Pushing It Down and Praying that was released 9/20. I think the mv for this song is the visual representation of the 🫚 message about the audience member (us true fans) becoming a part of the magic show and also the teenage love triangle in folklore. In this story, we are playing the character Wendy/Betty while the tortured poets play the character Peter/James. Swifties or the fans who don’t see this metaphorical story are Augusta/Augustine, the girl that James cheats on Betty with in august. So even though the teenage love triangle is technically fictional, there are seeds of truth in it. This is what Taylor was trying to explain during the eras tour betty speeches when she said she created these fictional characters and she was acting as the narrator of their story (x). Role Model, who stars in the Pushing It Down and Praying mv, is also the opening act for Gracie's TSOU tour which is another connection.
And to add even more evidence to this theory, the teenage love triangle also makes an appearance in Gracie’s discography. Gracie has a song called Augusta on TIWIFL which just so happens to be the name of one of the characters in the love triangle. It is also the name of a town in Maine which is where Gracie’s family is from. There are 3 songs in total on TIWIFL that are named after towns in Maine—Camden, Augusta, and Rockland. If you put the first letters of these songs together, they spell out “CAR.” “Standing in your CARdigan, kissing in my CAR again,” “And when I felt like I was an old CARdigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite," 2:46 in betty ("She said 'James, get in, let's drive'") corresponding with 2:46 in august ("Remember when I pulled up and said get in the CAR").
august, betty, cardigan (the 3 sides or perspectives of the love triangle) are “ABC” bc the alphabet or capital letters are one of the major keys to solving this puzzle. As I mentioned in this post, I think Audrey has been helping to plant easter eggs. She posted Capital Letters by Hailee Steinfeld on her insta 3 times which is quite interesting and she also included this song in her Summa playlist.
What makes this even more suspicious is that she specifically chose timestamps in the songs (1:11 and 1:23) that have these lyrics ⬇️ and she posted the 1:11 timestamp TWICE which indicates that she really wanted to emphasize it. "God I'm jumping in the deep end, it's more fun to swim in. Heard the risk is drowning but I'm gonna take it."
Another thing that I think ties in with all of this is the Stephen Colbert interview. In this post below, I explain why I think the pizza on the mood board represents PR/bearding/showmanship/magic. I also explain how the letters that spell out Stephen's name are a huge clue and are related to the Peter Pan metaphor that is a through line in both Gracie's and Taylor's music. This is another example of "capital letters" or the alphabet being the key to solving the puzzle.
Going back to what I said in the first paragraph, this entire rabbit hole of cross-referenceable songs is dedicated to us except for the "pizza" So High School which is the one song she dedicated to 🏈 This is why Taylor's mood board had one slice of pizza while every other picture was of Stephen.
#rabbit hole#mass coming out theory#stephen colber#peter pan#lizzy mcalpine#role model#augusta#capital letters#teenage love triangle#ginger#present anon#so high school#pizza#august#betty#cardigan#camden#rockland#pushing it down and praying#in between#paul revere#cassandra#the story of us#the prophecy#normal thing#if this was a movie#Spotify#Youtube
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Fire with Fire Ch. 13: FAHM
A DP x MCU Spider-Man Crossover
AO3 | FFn
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"Well," Betty began, "I guess I'd better get used to wild stories if I'm going to have a future in journalism."
"You wanna become a reporter?" Danny asked.
Betty held up her phone and notepad. "What, you thought I just did this stuff for extra credits?"
"I dunno…maybe?"
She shook her head dismissively. "People are so interesting, Danny. What they show the world, what the world sees on accident, what's really going on inside their heads… It's such a complicated, tangled web that I just can't help but pluck at." The blonde turned her head to look straight into her date's eyes. "Like you."
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Peter took a sip of his drink while Danny prepared portions for himself and Betty. He noticed when Danny stilled slightly at the site of a bucket of ice next to the neighboring drink options. "So how much longer are you gonna pretend you're not gonna be a superhero?" Peter prodded.
"Ssh!" Danny angrily hushed, checking for anyone nearby. "It's never gonna happen."
"C'mon Danny, you've got a gift." Peter shifted to a more playful smile. "Plus, I bet you'd beat Phantom in the hometown hero popularity vote pretty easily."
Danny glared.
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Flames ballooned over the boy. The force of their rapid expansion blew out the surrounding windows next to where the laser had entered, further metastasizing the fire. A chandelier swung wildly in the air displacement until it snapped free of its mount and crashed to the floor. Now the entire ballroom had been engulfed once more, the lovingly crafted goods reduced to indiscriminate fuel as dislodged ceiling tiles rained down around them.
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Well, y'all, we're finally back in business! It's been a heck of a year, but I am so stoked to publish chapter 13 of this fic. It was never officially on hiatus; I've just been Going Through ItTM nonstop for months. A HUGE shoutout to my fandom friends who helped make this possible through editorial and/or moral support, including @ghostiemouse, @weshney, @the-outcast-ed, @summerssixecho, @arken-99, @tytach, and more. I love and appreciate you all ❤️❤️❤️
Enjoy the fic! I can't wait to hear what you all think!
(Heads up @platoniclace the update's finally out!)
#fire with fire fic#fwf#dp x mcu#dp x marvel#danny phantom#mcu spiderman#dp x spiderman#dp crossover#my fic#betty brant#ned leeds#peter parker#I want to try every filipino food I put in this chapter#fanfiction#phandom
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so this is how i started down the rabbit hole of wanting/needing a frog pond...
it all started when i was dumb and left my gorilla wagon outside during that hurricane that came on through, beryl betty, beejou, beetlejuice... already forgot the name. but it dumped a TON of water in the span of only 1.5 days, so of course the wagon got full super quick. i guess it also rained frogs instead of cats and dogs because some frogs laid eggs in said wagon cart. now the thing is, i own this cart wagon gorilla because i need it. i use it quite often, considering how many raised beds i've been constructing and replenishing compost for. but frogs win over me.
i've been checking my no longer gorilla but now frog wagon cart daily since then, and now i'm down to i believe 5ish tadpoles just chilling in there. and yes i washed my hands thoroughly after this video. also wave hi to me at the end.
i believe i have picked a good dedicated space for a permanent frog pond in the middle of one of my raised beds in the front yard. i plan on surrounding it with vegetable plants all year round (dinosaur kale in the winter, then next year will be purple tomatillos). i had cantaloupe plants in it before but man i couldn't reach the middle both because of my back and because the bed is just too square.
so the only remaining question i have before i commit to this is that do i need a run-off drain drilled near the top for the next downpour, or does it just do that on it's own and no worries about it?? this is an old hydroponics bin that i used once and was like 'cool. but a tower would be better' so i don't plan on using it ever again for that purpose.
thank you to soooo many people who helped me when i first panic posted about what to do: @the-thing-of-worms, @martha-anne, @roseredsnow, and @mrsjdavis. without your advice or thoughts i would not have kept going with this idea!
i now know to add plants to the water, and going to add rocks of various sizes in and around the pond. i'm debating on adding fish, because as much as i would love that idea - i'm worried about the pond freezing in winter and also not only parsley but other cats in the neighborhood just coming and eating them all. but i guess that's nature for you. totes going to put in a water pump to keep the water moving, that will be like step 1.
oh, and a photo of the frogs that live in my yard. no idea of the species, but man they are everywhere.
#food not lawns#gardening#home garden#homestead#homesteading#nature#homegrown#food#grow food#gardenblr#garden blog#suburban farm#suburban agriculture#frog#frog garden#garden help#garden advice
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In the mood for a fic...
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1. I'm kind of in the mood for jiang free wangxian fics, where the the extent of jiangs involvement in the plot are just brief mentions / For ITMF, a longer canonverse wangxian fic that doesn't heavily feature Jiang Cheng on page. Canon divergence is very welcome but not mandatory.
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2. hi! do you have any fics where lwj struggles with his sadism? canonverse please and bonus points if they are E rated ;) @chellsky
still waters by piggybo (E, 3k, WangXian, Consensual Kink, Light Sadism, Light Masochism, Outdoor Sex, Painful Sex, Spit As Lube, Kink Discovery, Light Bondage, Internal Conflict, CQL!verse, Post-Canon, not as explicit as the tags make it sound, but still pretty explicit)
bb!Sadist by Betty (T, 3k, WangXian, Non-Sexual Kink, Sadism, Modern AU) not canon but a good read cause it's abt the Struggle
💖 Magical Marriage Ribbons series by starandrea (M, 1M, WIP, wangxian, ongoing, animal transformations, weddings) in the Magical Marriage Ribbons series, Teen!Wangxian continuously need to discuss around LWJ's reluctance to admit what he wants sexually in earlier parts that's very lovely!
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3. Hii!!! Im back for another ITMF! I've been seeing a lot of art of spider-man aus for wangxian and I was wondering if you knew of any fics with either one or both of them having spider-man powers? Thanks so much! @loveshinesbrightly
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4. hiiiii it's me again for the next ITMF I was reading a fiction and lqr said that : "He could definitely picture an alternate reality wherein he didn’t overhear their conversation, and Wangji ended up impulsively withdrawing his entire trust fund to elope cross-country with Wei Wuxian and start a new life together - all to avoid having to face the disapproval of their families." do you know any story where it actually happens ????? thanks✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨ @ihaveasoftspotfora-yuan
keep your electric eye on me, babe by ilip13 (M, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fluff, Falling In Love) is mostly a meet-cute fic but does involve lwj running off with wwx at the end
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5. Hey, I'm looking for some Daemon AU fics. @the-dolphin-queen
🧡 like speaking to my heart by SnowshadowAO3 (T, 613k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Daemons, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Some people live!, additional warnings in specific chapters, if you don't know what daemons are that's ok because I explain it in the author's note, also by slow burn I VERY much mean slow burn)
Daemons and Sentient Swords Comp
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6. hi! i was wondering if you knew of any mafia au fics? 💖
🧡 Rule Number One: Never get attached. by KizuKatana (E, 130k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O, Criminal underworld AU, Fluff and angst, Crime boss LWJ, Rouge criminal genius WWX, Explicit Sex)
Miscalculated Misreckoning by LadyVamp (E, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, Organized Crime, Attempted Kidnapping, Murder Husbands, Blood and Violence, Violent Sex, Married WangXian, BAMF LWJ, BAMF WWX, YLLZ WWX, Hair-pulling, Office Sex, Desk Sex, Dark LWJ, Protective LWJ, Dark WWX, Partners in Crime, Gun Violence, Gun Kink, Crime Syndicate Qíshān Wēn Sect, Arranged Marriage, Crime Lord LWJ, Crime Lord WWX)
of demons and the good they bring by mimi123meg (M, 1k, WangXian, Modern AU, Mob, Crime Boss LWJ, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JC, Slight Violence, not too graphic, but definitely there, Established Relationship)
Take Some Advice Paesano by FeelsForBreakfast (M, 8k, wangxian, modern, mob au, mafia the 🤡 version, humor, mistaken identity, getting together)
You & Me Baby, We'll Eclipse The Sun Series by 2501987 (M/E, 130k, WangXian, XiCheng, MIND THE TAGS, Modern AU, Mafia, Murder husbands, Torture, Possessive Behavior, Blood and Violence, Older JC, Younger WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Dark)
The Damage You Do by stiricide (E, 87k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Dom/Sub, Dark LWJ, Mobster LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Sex Worker WWX, Sugar Baby WWX, WWX adopts LSZ, Dubious Consent, each chapter has sex tag notes on it, BDSM, Sounding, Panic Attacks, Angst with a Happy Ending)
Due Process by Kytrin, Mslead (E, 279k, WangXian, XiSangCheng, ZhuiLingZhen, Modern AU, Canon-Typical Violence, Foxxian, dragonji, Genderfluid WWX, Wwx identifies as male, Organized Crime, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, mentions of child abuse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Found Family, Reincarnation)
Naughty Kitty Go Meow Meow: An Urban Romance From The City of Dragons by Hinu (E, 160k, WangXian, NieLan, RuoXian, Modern AU, Mafia, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Dragon LWJ, Cat Hybrid WWX, Porn with Plot, Organized Crime, Pole dancing, Possessive LWJ, WWX has a Vulva, Omegas have a vagina, GNC WWX, Good Person WZL, Dark LWJ, Sexual harassment, Non-Consensual Bondage, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Eventual Fluff)
Beautiful Nightmare (Sweet Dreams) by Cy_an_Blue (E, 79k, WangXian, Modern AU, explicit depictions of torture, explicit depictions of violence, Dark LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Crime Boss LWJ, Mafia AU, Kidnapping, Stockholm Syndrome, (Kinda but not really), Implied Sexual Content, Sexual Harassment, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Not by WangXian, Dubious Consent, Age Difference, Kid Fic, Heavy/Dark Themes, Cheating, not wangxian, 365 days (2020) inspired, Angst with a Happy Ending, Falling In Love, Past QingXian, Minor LWJ/Other(s), Homophobic Language, Derogatory Language)
To Protect My Family I'll Give You Anything by stiricide (E, 4k, WangXian, Modern AU, Alpha WWX, Omega LWJ, Bottom LWJ, Gangsters, Gangbang, Fisting, Public Sex, Public Humiliation, Knotting, Mating Bites, Happy Ending, Dark LWJ, Dark WWX, Spanking, Dubious Consent, Top WWX, Threats of Violence, but not between wangxian)
there is a mafia au comp !!
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7. A) In the mood for wen Ning and Wei Ying being close
B) Is there any wangxian book which is like omniscient reader's viewpoint? Fusion or similar. I just plain and simple love it to the end of the world. @whateverweilanlovechild
7A)
Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! by KizuKatana (E, 63k, wangxian, WN & WWX & WQ, graphic depictions of violence, modern cultivation, canon divergence, YZY abuses WWX , caught on camera, partial core removal, WWX kicked out of Jiang sect, livestreamer WWX, meet ugly, dual cultivation, smut, no war, WIP)
All Things Belong by kuroi_atropos (M, 65k, WRH & WWX, wangxian, WN & WWX, Wen WWX, abuse, whipping, manipulations, smart WWX, possessive behavior, implied/Referenced rape/non-con, past rape/non-con, WIP)
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8. ITMF superhero wangxian!! i’m not too particular on the context, be it only one of them, or both of them, or hero/villain. the more explicit the better, though 🌝
mission report by bosbie (T, 13k, WangXian, Modern AU, Superheroes/Superpowers, Fluff, Humor, First Meetings, Falling In Love, Getting Together)
a wild heart to tame mine by theroyalsavage (G, 10k, WangXian, Superheroes/Superpowers, Strangers to Lovers, bookshop owner lwj/superhero wwx, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Wangxian-typical tenderness)
Tired of the Sunset by julomaiboulomai (M, 55k, WangXian, NieLan, Modern AU, Superheroes/Superpowers, Identity Porn, Secret Identity, Parent-Child Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Canonical Character Death, Also Canonical 'He Gets Better', Unreliable Narrator, superhero fights, Major Character Injury, Major Character Undeath, Slow Burn, But also somehow, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, JC-LWJ Mutual Hate Society, Domestic Fluff, Co-Parenting, Making Out, well slowish burn, Fade to Black, Brief mentions of suicide, Angst with a Happy Ending, Art Embedded)
🧡 Of Ghosts and Heroes by The Silverfish (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 51k, AS & WWX, AS/YH, WangXian, BNHA/MHA Crossover, Dimension Travel, POV Outsider, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Angst) Sort of? It's a crossover with bnha and I think a few mdzs characters become heroes in it
Free Wifi for Heroes by JJSparrow (E, 50k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, Pro Heroes (MHA), Switching, Engineer!WWX, Hero!LWJ, CEO!WWX, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Inventor!WWX, Top/Bottom Switch WangXian, Explicit Sexual Content, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fluff and Smut, First Kiss, First Time)
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9. Hi, thanks for doing these recs!
For the next itmf, I'd like wangxian in the Cloud Recesses Study Arc, kinda like Stunted, Starving Juvenility. Preferably long, like 50k+, but any length is fine!
Thank you! @moonlightflora-101
Silenced With A Kiss by NinjaKK (E, 88k, wangxian, cloud recesses study arc, flirting, fluff, teen romance, happy ending, secret relationship, falling in love, first kiss, first dates, inventor WWX, genius WWX, protective WWX; protective LWJ, happy ending, ripple effect, first time, fluff & smut, supportive LWJ, BAMF WWX, WIP)
The initial parts of 💖 Magical Marriage Ribbons series by starandrea (M, 1M, WIP, wangxian, ongoing, animal transformations, weddings, link in #2) also fits for 9, I think
O, What Learning Is! by Comfect (T, 60k, WangXian, XiCheng, Canon Divergence, No Fall of Lotus Pier, No Golden Core Transfer, Fix-It, Butterfly Effect, Fluff, Cultivation Theory, Cultivation Sect Politics, JZX Lives, JYL Lives, WWX-Typical Obliviousness, Unreliable Narrator WWX, The Undeniable Romance of Quests, Good Student WWX (for a given value of good student), Canon-typical treatment of children, Bad Parent YZY, Bad Parent JFM, Good Uncle LQR)
Three changes. by orange_crushed (M, 18k, WangXian, Fluff, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Friends to Lovers, Romantic Comedy, Fade to Black, Mild Sexual Content, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot No War AU, Falling In Love, Non-Graphic Violence, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Sparring, Harm to Animals, Don't Worry The Animal is Fine Wangji Makes Sure of That, Developing Friendships, teenagers in love, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Blood, First Time)
Unstoppable by Netrixie (T, 149k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Eventual Happy Ending, Unreliable Narrator, Slow Burn, Minor OC's, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Wolf-shifter WWX, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, Fix-It, Shapeshifters, Sunshot Campaign)
In Walls of Glass by Comfect (T, 43k, WangXian, XiCheng, Good Uncle LQR, Teacher LQR, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Yet Another Butterfly Effect Fix-It, JC friendly, Family Feels, Demonic Cultivation, Cultivation Theory, Tagged CQL not MDZS, POV LQR)
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10. Hello! ITMF where WWX is super duper Mary Sue. I just read “The Darkness Before Dawn” by PsycheStellata707, and I loved how WWX was just the most beautiful, the most powerful, the most smart, the most loved, the richest, the super bamf. It was indulgent and fun. Any other fics like this?
leave all your love and your longing behind by ScarlettStorm (E, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Meet-Ugly, Panic Attacks, autistic lwj, neurodivergent wwx, the neighborhood asshole dog, if you’ve met one then you know, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Happy Ending, for everyone including the asshole dog, Eventual Smut, switch rights, Sex Toys, horny yearning, Masturbation) (link in #14)
🧡 Rule Number One: Never get attached. by KizuKatana (E, 130k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O, Criminal underworld AU, Fluff and angst, Crime boss LWJ, Rouge criminal genius WWX, Explicit Sex) (link in #6)
Whatever you do by apathyinreverie (T, 8k, WangXian, somewhat darker cultivation world, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, BAMF LXC, not Jiang friendly, YZY Bashing, wwx is appreciated, genius wwx, everyone is a little darker in this, except for wwx, Fluff, Possessive LWJ, Fix-It)
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11. Hi hi, hope everything is going well :) Sorry if this has been asked before, but for either ITMF or Fic Finder are there any good fics with Yunmeng trio shenanigans/slice of life?
~*~
12. hello! sorry to bother you, but theres any new wangxian fic with mpreg? especially (only) pregnant wei wuxian, please and thanks! 💖🙏🏽
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Hello, can you suggest any fluffy wangxian fic where wei Wuxian is pregnant. Would love it if it is long. Thank you 😊😊 @mayavsworld
In which Lan Qiren eavesdrops and gets a new nephew (and grandnephew) out of it by h0peless_oblivion (M, 64k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Mpreg, Teen Pregnancy, Shotgun Wedding, Good Uncle LQR, Madam Yu's A+ Parenting, Fluff and Angst, Family Feels, Unspecified Setting, Probably ooc, WWX Has ADHD, A-Yuan is Wangxian's son, Pregnant WWX, Humor, non-graphic birth, Family Drama, The Lans love wwx, Male Lactation, Mild Smut in later chapters, wangxian's canonical breeding kink, Tooth-Rotting Fluff) it's marked as a WIP but the main story is over the rest are sides stories
My Heart is a Cavern of Longing, Please come home? by LadyVamp (E, 28k, WangXian, Non-Traditional A/B/O Dynamics, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, Bitch WWX, Forced Marriage, Accidental Baby Acquisition, YLLZ WWX, Oblivious WWX, Módào Zǔshī & The Untamed Combination, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Forced Bonding, Forced Pregnancy, Depressed WWX, Sex In A Cave, Uncontrolled heats, JZX Lives, Arranged Marriage, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Pining LWJ, Pining WWX, Child LJY, LJY is WangXian's son, Unplanned Pregnancy, Pregnant WWX, Mpreg)
Bonded Fate by Missty0foxx (E, 19k, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Canon Divergence, Dubious Consent, Mating, Mating Bites, Knotting, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Angst with a Happy Ending, Self-Lubrication, LWJ Has a Big Dick, Teenage WangXian, Time Skips, Mpreg, Caring LWJ, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Pregnant Sex, Pregnant WWX, Mating Cycles/In Heat, WangXian Have a Breeding Kink, LWJ Has a Biting Kink)
The Beautiful and the Damned by Anonymous (M, 15k, WangXian, Wingfic, Immortal LWJ, Demon WWX, Mpreg, Pregnant WWX, Wing Kink, Human JC, mmortal LXC, Immortal LSZ, Immortal LJY, Crow WWX, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, WangXian Are LSZ's Parents, Gambling, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Spanking, CNC and Dubcon elements, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Unplanned Pregnancy)
Pregxian & Pregji Comp
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13. Hey guys hope all is well , I’m in the mood for a fix with bodyguard Lan Zhan just out here protecting wei ying idk if anything like this exists but I’m intrigued.
Thank you for all your hard work x @red-spacekitten
Bodyguard king by 74243 (E, 8k, Female WangXian, Modern AU, Idol WWX, Bodyguard LWJ, Female NHS, Platonic D/s, Loss of Virginity)
lightning in a bottle by nighimpossible (E, 12k, WangXian, Modern AU, Bodyguard LWJ, Scientist WWX, Mutual Pining, Blow Jobs, (light) Rope Bondage, Kitchen Sex, Anal Fingering)
~*~
14. Itmf for fics where LWJ has friends!! Who teases him!! And are there for him!! I've often seen Mianmian with him and I've enjoyed those fics alot!! Preferably canonverse but modern au's are fun too!!
❤️ save a sword, ride a socialist by sysrae (E, 33k, wangxian, modern w magic, college/university au, fake/pretend relationship, single parent WWX, homophobia, light angst w/ happy ending, idiots to lovers, fluff) is really good
leave all your love and your longing behind by ScarlettStorm (E, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Meet-Ugly, Panic Attacks, autistic lwj, neurodivergent wwx, the neighborhood asshole dog, if you’ve met one then you know, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Happy Ending, for everyone including the asshole dog, Eventual Smut, switch rights, Sex Toys, horny yearning, Masturbation) Scarlett storm does a great job of showing lan zhan with actual friends and a support system , however this one in particular is great !
mating rituals by detectorist (E, 16k, WangXian, XuanLi, JZX & LWJ, Modern AU, College/University, Humour, Pining, Getting Together, Idiots in Love)
correspondence of two fools madly in love by serenedebeautea (G, 2k, WangXian, XuanLi, LWJ & JZX)
forget-me-not by mellowflicker (E, 31k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Sugar Daddy WWX, Sugar Baby LWJ, Professor WWX, Student LWJ, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, Secret Relationship, Age Difference, Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain, JZX & LWJ Friendship, Family Issues, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs)
Orchids in Lotus Pier by Vamillepudding (G, 21k, WangXian, JC & LWJ, Canon Divergence, Romantic Comedy, Mutual Pining, Protective JC, Friends to Lovers, Misunderstandings)
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15. Hi there! Hope you day is going good!!! I need your help to find me a(lot) fan fiction with dragon lan wangji/human wei wuxian please 🙇♀️🥺 @mahamhere
Coil Tightly by Thunderstruck (Blueyed_Impala) (T, 50k, WangXian, Dragon LWJ, Shifters, Modern with Magic, WWX is oblivious to magic, Slow Burn, Fluff, Attempt at Humor, References to Animal Abuse but the animal is LWJ, Hurt/Comfort, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, WWX has abandonment issues, Possessive LWJ, Clueless Flirting, OC Lan disciples for plot reasons)
These Mortal Treasures by ChilianXianzi (T, 9k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fantasy, Dragon LWJ, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Possessive LWJ, Domestic Fluff, implied eggpreg, The Cultivation World's canonical fuckery, eggyuan!, Gift Giving)
Love at first bite by luckymoonly (M, 14k, WangXian, NieLan, Modern setting with dragons, Falling In Love, NMJ and JYL own a bakery together, Interspecies Romance, Crossdressing, Everyone lives in the same building, First Time, Fluff and Humor, Mpreg, LWJ's canonical big dick, Horny lwj, Smut, LXC and LWJ are dragon princes, Lingerie, Dating, Medium Burn, Possessive LWJ)
wind and rain by hauntedotamatone (E, 15k, WangXian, Dragon LWJ, Porn With Plot, Size Difference, Mildly Dubious Consent, Spit As Lube, Fairy Tale Elements, Double Penetration in One Hole, Rough Sex, Biting, Curse Breaking, Teratophilia, Fuck Or Die, but not for who you'd think, Meet-Ugly, Rimming, Past physical abuse, consensual and sane but not 100 percent safe, Non-Human Genitalia, Come as Lube, Multiple Orgasms, Overstimulation, Copious Amounts of Come)
Jaws of the Dragon by celerydragon (Not Rated, 7k, WangXian, dubcon, Exhibitionism, Nonconsensual Exhibitionism, Bestiality, Belly Bulge, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Breeding Kink, dragonji, LWJHas a Big Dick, lwj can transform into a human)
other earths and skies by binghecarer (T, 53k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, (but not in the typical way?), Slow Burn, Canon-Typical Scars and Injuries, Curses, Hurt/Comfort)
fell by you by Vrishchika (E, 44k, Dragon LWJ, Fantasy, Explicit Smut in Last Chapter, Pining, POV LWJ, Canon Divergence, Immortals, Deities, Canon-Typical Violence, Dragon WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending)
this river runs to you Series by aubreyli, sundiscus (T/E, 66k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mutual Pining, Dragons, Literal Sleeping Together, Tender wound tending, First Time, Oral Sex, Coming Untouched, Porn with Feelings, Established Relationship)
Making Mouths at Dragons by athena_crikey (E, 10k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mpreg, baby fever, near PWP, Dragon sex, also human sex, Rimming, Size Kink, Egg Laying, Family, Feel-good, hints of self-worth issues, Dragon LWJ)
~*~
16. hello!! for the next itmf, any fanfics where they elaborate on wei changze and/or cangse sanren? secret families, they survive, even pre canon, just some wei family feels. thank youu <33
I Will Call You By Name by DisasterMages (T, 73k, WangXian, WWX raised by XXC, Canon Divergence, Family Feels) does ´I will call you by name’ by DisasterMages count they’re a few flashbacks about them
tall as the mountains that sheltered us by thelastdboy (M, 4k, CSSR/WCZ, CSSR & WWX & WCZ, wangxian, canon divergence, CSSR & WCZ live, crack treated seriously, childhood friends to lovers, genius WWX, inventor WWX, bg character death, happy ending, WCZ pov) wcz & cssr are saved by the lan.
The Long Winding Road Home by Admiranda (T, 12k, CSSR/WCZ, wangxian, time travel, post-canon, not JC friendly, fluff, family reunion, mocking LQR to his face, mocking JC to his face, wild rumours) wcz & cssr return after 30 years trapped.
Silver (Bloodshot) Eyes by GeminiWillow (T, 15k, WangXian, WCZ & WWX, WCZ & JL, Not Jiāng Chéng Friendly, JC Bashing, YZY Bashing, Yúnmèng Jiāng Sect Bashing, BAMF WCZ, Ghost WCZ, JC Canon Characteristics, Mentions of WWX's Canonical Child Abuse, Child JL, JL Needs a Hug, Revenge) vengeful ghost wcz torments jc during the timeskip. jiang bashing.
The Wei of family by HikariNoHimeWriter (E, 46k, WangXian, WCZ/CSSR, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, CSSR and WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Male omega with vagina, Vaginal Fingering, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Vaginal Sex, First Time, Falling In Love, some violence, Genius WWX, WWX Has ADHD, CSSR Has ADHD, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Eventual Smut, Love Confessions, Mating Bond, WangXian Elope, Kinda, Not JC Friendly, not yzy friendly, Mpreg) omega wwx grows up with his family and finds love
a burden of figs by spookykingdomstarlight (T, 16k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, CSSR and WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Breaking Up & Making Up, Getting Back Together, Hurt/Comfort, Injured WWX, caretaker LWJ, Mutual Pining) rogue cultivator wwx dating to breakup to makeup.
somehow, someway, we all get to someday by Stratisphyre (T, 75k, WangXian, CSSR/LQR/WCZ, MDM Lan/OFC, Canon Divergence, Role Reversal, Canon-Typical Violence, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Parenthood, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Threesome - F/M/M, Family Feels, Not JFM Friendly, Not Lan Sect Friendly, past emotional abuse, Demisexual Character, Inclusive discussions of reproductive rights) jfm & yzy die on a nighthunt and wcz & cssr run the jiang as regents for jc.
~*~
17. Hi!! ITMF for submissive LWJ with a praise kink. Whether he's top or bottom doesn't matter.
Shatter All Barriers by YunmengLotus (E, 11k, WangXian, Modern AU, Painplay, Light Dom/sub, very brief subdrop, Praise Kink, Wax Play, Temperature Play, Sex Toys, Communication, light blood play (really light but there is blood), BDSM, Intercrural Sex, thigh fucking, Non-Penetrative Sex, Coming Untouched, Piercings, Needles, Sub LWJ, dom WWX, kind of, Getting Together, piercer wwx)
Maybe You're the Reason by Clearpearls (E, 67k, WangXian, College/University, Phone Sex, slight D/s, Secret Identity, Praise Kink, Phone Sex Operator WWX, slight internalized sexual repression, Fluff, Light Angst, Dirty Talk, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Slow Burn, Sub LWJ, Bottom LWJ, Vibrators, Aftercare, Introspection)
old wounds by BloodRedCarnation (E, 23k, WangXianYu, Established WangXian, PWP, Kink Negotiation, Switch WangXian, Age Difference, Power Dynamics, Threesome, healing through sex, Breathplay, Light exhibitionism kink, Praise Kink, Dom/sub, Virgin MXY, Post-Canon, Fix-It of Sorts, Double Penetration)
Caffeine, Small Talk by mistergoblin (E, 144k, WangXian, Modern AU, Friends With Benefits, Enemies to Lovers, or more accurately: frenemies to fuck, buddies to lovers, Angst and Fluff and Smut, touch-starved lwj, Slow Burn, high levels of sexual tension, Misunderstandings, Getting to Know Each Other, Switching, Bottom LWJ, bottom WWX, slight D/s, Happy Ending, side yanqing, lwj's patented horny grip, Sub LWJ)
Here Comes The Heat (Before We Meet) by mistergoblin (E, 15k, WangXian, Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, D/s elements, Sub LWJ, Bottom LWJ, but they switch wbk, Collars, Praise Kink, Rough Sex, Spanking, Explicit Consent)
a new kind of silence by deliciousblizzardshark (E, 11k, WangXian, Modern AU, Autistic LWJ, Communication Disorder, Trans LWJ, Protective WWX, Pregnant LWJ, Panic Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Getting Together, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Soft WangXian, POV WWX)
~*~
If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***
#wangxian#mdzs#wangxian fic recs#i'm in the mood for a fic#the untamed#wangxian fic search#wangxianficfinder#long post
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what if hiram and archie but they're both girls
Short answer: toxic yuri <3 yay <3
Long answer: I've been mulling over this one all day because masculinity is so wrapped up in the way Hiram and Archie's relationship manifests in a way that doesn't really translate to femininity. 'mob boss' and 'capo' are both such heavily-gendered roles, and their dynamic is constantly being expressed through ritualized, homoerotic violence in the form of boxing, wrestling, and blood oaths (the rituals. they are so intricate). And while I think women beating the shit out of each other rules, the cinematic language and commentary on gender and masculinity inevitably changes a lot with the gender swap. They're both very different people with the confines of masculinity removed, and the confines of femininity added.
That said, I love toxic yuri and this is a fascinating question to me, so facing god and walking backwards straight into fanfiction territory here, but if i was writing Archie and Hiram as women, here's how I think I'd do it:
Veronica doesn't get her gender swapped, but Hermione does. Hermione becomes a lot more distant, no longer having the shared experience of womanhood to bond with Veronica over, and remains cognizant and jealous of (insane that she just. said that out loud. by the way) the intensity of Hiram and Veronica's relationship, but is even less likely to step in. I've gone back and forth but I think it's interesting to keep Fred a single father, whose already-shaky abilities to relate to Archie and assert appropriate boundaries only diminish with Archie as a teenage girl instead of a teenage boy.
Also, f!Archie is butch/gnc, f!Hiram is not.
Hiram's had to navigate the male-dominated mob world as a woman, and has to play the careful gender balancing-act that requires, presenting her femininity as powerful in a way that remains palatable to her male peers, think eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man femme fatale vibes. Hiram deeply cares about gender presentation and being seen as 'correctly' masculine - 'a real man' - in canon and in this AU, 'correctly' feminine. Which naturally leads to feeling threatened by and disapproving of Veronica's relationship with Archie, a sporty butch girl from a working-class family whose very existence undermines Hiram's ideas about gender. Hiram would be so gay and homophobic about it. Archie becomes a canvas on which Hiram can project her own issues about gender, and then blot them out, controlling and destroying masculinity in another woman/girl, shaping her into the image of someone worthy of her daughter in the process.
Thinking about the suits Archie wears while working with Hiram, the tone that takes on if it's Archie slowly becoming more femme under Hiram's influence. About the subversion of femininity used to signify maturity. About the parallels you could draw with Alice's control of Betty's appearance, about Hiram giving Archie pearls, about the differences in the rituals men and women construct to touch one another.
Toxic yuri of the century.
#toxic yuri hirarchie does different things than canon hirarchie but i do think there are really interesting places to go with this#also shout out to gc and especially @hauntingattheblackberrybush for helping me sort out my thoughts on this one its so much#hirarchie hour#if anyone else has thoughts on this i would LOVE to hear them
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Letter to Gavin Creel
Dear Gavin,
I was in the middle of a major website project at work on Monday when I heard that you had passed away. For the first time in my life, I actually sobbed hysterically at the death of someone famous. When I say sobbed hysterically, I mean unable to focus on anything because my eyes were too wet and my chest was too tight. I hadn’t cried like this since the day my grandmother died four years ago.
You see, I don't usually get this visibly upset when people in the public sphere pass away. Sure, I was sad when people like Sondheim, Betty White, and Robin Williams died. But I've never been so upset that I couldn't function. That is just your impact on the world, for me and so many others.
The last time I saw you in person was in 2017 at the stage door of She Loves Me. Despite it having been years since then, I believe that if we’d met at a stage door or other event today, you’d still recognize me. Because that is the type of person you are. I guess were, now that you’ve passed, but I can’t find it in myself to talk of you in the past tense. It just doesn’t seem real that someone so full of life and immortal is no longer here with us, dancing through this thing called life.
You don’t know this, but I got to see you perform in my favorite musical, Into the Woods, when the tour came to Philadelphia in April of last year. It was a last-minute decision that fell on a weeknight, so I couldn’t stay late afterward to stage door. Of course, I thought to myself that I’d have plenty more opportunities to see you work your craft. Now that you’ve passed, I wish I had said “fuck it” to having to be at work the next day and stayed to chat with you.
Like so many of those who looked up to and admired you, I first discovered you when I was in HS watching Eloise at the Plaza. As a child, I had adored the Eloise books, so naturally, I was excited to see a film made about the precocious girl. Back then I had no idea who you were, just that your name was attached to the character of Bill. I adored Bill and his silly, over-the-top theatrics and became obsessed with watching the movie just for him – though Eloise was great, too.
Then, as a freshman in college, I started talking to this person from New York City through a mutual fan group on Facebook. She encouraged my very limited knowledge of musical theatre and introduced me to so many new things. One of them was a bootleg recording of Hair from 2009. The energy you exuded on stage was palpable, even from the grainy 2000s video.
At that point in my life, I was sure I would never get out of Kansas. I knew I was different and didn't fit in with the other people in my small-town Kansas community. By the time I left and moved to NY in 2013, I still wasn't sure what my identity was, but I was certain I belonged to the queer community. Upon arriving in New York, I quickly found myself immersed in the musical theatre community there.
One of the first shows I saw was The Book of Mormon. I would visit the theatre at least once a week, sometimes even twice. I didn't really have the finances to do that, but my mental health demanded comfort, and that show was where I found it. So, once or twice a week, I would play the lottery or do standing room.
By the time you moved from The Book of Mormon on the West End to Broadway, I was ready for you but also hesitant to love you because your predecessor, Nic Rouleau, had had such a profound impact on my mental health and self-worth. From the moment I met you, though, I knew I could never have any feelings other than love for you.
Sure, I already knew I loved you as a performer from the years of watching bootlegs of your performances, listening to your EPs, and loving you in Eloise. However, my connection and attachment to The Book of Mormon was so great that each time the leads switched, I had a hard time adjusting.
It was different with you, though. You immediately took me under your wing and made me know I was important to you. That first night, you forced me to hand over my phone for our photo, and you scrolled through filters until you found the one you wanted. Then you insisted we do silly faces, that serious faces weren't needed. It was as if you knew I needed comfort more than a professional stage door selfie.
Over the course of the year you were part of the Broadway company, we interacted many times. Every time you saw me, your face would light up, you'd insist on a silly photo, and then you'd ask me if I was doing okay and how work was going. You genuinely wanted to know. It was something that got me through those extremely dark days of working a job I hated but not knowing any other path I could go on.
I didn't ever tell you this, but those moments kept my suicidal thoughts during that time at bay. Knowing I could swing by the stage door at any time, whether I'd seen the show or not, and talk to you was what got me through. We never talked about anything profound or world-changing, but you asking me about my day and encouraging me to find my passion changed my whole life.
After you left Mormon, I didn't see you again until the final days of She Loves Me. I fully expected you to not remember who I was, but you did. Once again, your smile grew at the sight of me, and you made a joke while wiggling your face to emphasize the mustache on your face. I wish I'd taken more time to tell you about my life that day. To connect more with you, but I didn't.
I had no way of knowing that would be the last time I would see you perform for many years. Not long after that, my finances took a major hit, and I moved to NJ, making trips to Broadway a bit harder to accomplish. So, I wasn't able to see you in Waitress or Hello, Dolly. But, man, did I want to. I did have the chance to watch clips of you in these shows and bask in the glory of your singing voice and stage presence, even if it was from afar.
I started to understand myself more clearly and made friends who helped me find an identity that made sense to me. Then, 2020 hit, and I suffered quite a few losses in my family. I struggled to keep my head above water, but my queer friends reminded me that there were things worth living for. Through these friendships, I started to find my way out of the mess I was in and found joy in musical theatre again. I started to listening to your personal music and the cast albums of your shows. It wasn't the only music I listened to, but it helped me get through the most.
Then, Into the Woods happened. By this time, I had started to be a co-leader in a local Tri-State Queer group. We would all get together and talk about TV, Broadway, Music, and Movies. It was so rejuvenating. A group of us got tickets to see Into the Woods on Broadway, but I couldn't be part of that due to finances. However, my best friend works for Ticket Philadelphia, so he promised that I could go with him when it came to Philadelphia on tour.
And that brings us to the close of this letter. I got to see you exude that joy all over the stage one last time in Into the Woods on Tour. It was one of the best nights of my life. Your performance of Agony will live on in my memories forever. As will your performance of I Believe in The Book of Mormon.
I never got around to telling you this in person, so I will say it now: Thank you so much for all the moments in my life that your presence or your voice got me through. Your passion for life and love was always awe-inspiring, and it's what I will carry with me through the years. We all deserved to see you do so much more in the world of Broadway, musical theatre, and beyond. Life truly is unfair, but I'm grateful for what I was able to experience with you.
Rest easy, dance often, and spread your sunshine from the beyond.
Mads
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Twig Liveblog for Arc 18
what a banger arc let's fucking gooo. so many good infante sections, which is the most important part of any arc. just waltzing around in the plague. he's so cool. it's hard for me to really see him as the "antagonist" because i am always 100% behind him and whatever he wants to do. when he shoved a parasite down lillian's throat i was like, i wish that were me so bad. moans loudly.
good to get some yuri in there too. ugh i love mary/lillian together. i think, through biopunk technology, they need to figure out how to get each other pregnant. the same applies for sy and jessie. this would symbolize the completion of their respective character arcs.
i think my favorite part, though, was the fairy tale experiments. man it really puts so much in perspective. it recalled the sequence in gravity's rainbow wherein captain blicero holds katje and gottfried captive and forces them to act out an obscene sadomasochistic version of hansel and gretel. or the correspondence between the powerful financial executive jes staley and one jeffrey epstein:
there are the omelas ethics of it, of course. the little speech from ferres defending it on the basis of receiving funding in exchange, for instance, was chillingly familiar. but there is also some insight about the function of a ruling class. you will be violently mutilated into the shape of some simplistic archetype so as to become a point of data to research, so as to become a toy for despots. one of the most heartrending moments is when bo peep refuses to undergo surgery to fix the mutilations made by the academy, as though to live with the identity assigned to you by your overlords is simpler, easier, than to deal with the chaos of non-identity. the big bad wolf script--in this case pheromone-scented keywords with the purpose of total control--is some of the best prose wildbow has written imo.
i think betty is (yet another) lillian surrogate. there is something so banal in her cruelty. one of the things i've really admired about twig is how the "coming-of-age" is also a kind of political journey. the revelation that it is not the nobility who is really in power but instead the academy mirrors the movement of the young political person discovering that, despite appearances, it is really the morbidly boring death-cult of liberal technocracy behind all the solipsism and agony. ferres deserved worse lol.
i also enjoyed sy's patrick bateman-style switch to third-person. again, i'm really impressed by the effectiveness of this "fracture." there are some truly haunting scenes, scary nameless children running underfoot--it really got to me in a way that some of wildbow's other "horror imagery" simply doesn't. there's so much to say about the splitting of his SYche... perhaps i'll reserve my thoughts for a longer dedicated post about it...
twig is so good!! it continues to be mature, affecting, ambiguous, insightful. even... experimental. hahahaha. wildbow can write well sometimes wtf??? i don't believe it, frankly.
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