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#but I've been searching for years and can't find it
blackmesa-researcher · 7 months
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I kinda hate how dead Half Life/HLVRAI tumblr rp is. :(
Then again I may just not have found those people yet. Wanted to rp Half Life on here, but yeah, couldn't find any active accounts.
Anyway, if you come across this and you'd like to rp Half Life or HLVRAI on discord, you can send me a message, and I'll check you out. :> As long as you're a pretty decent person who won't ask anything illegal of me, I wouldn't be opposed. I'm also A-Okay with OC's.
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comfortlesshurt · 2 months
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oh my god i'm going crazy over voltron art from like... 2017?
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brainrotzora · 18 days
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these things are always happening to the ones i like :////////
anyways the lighting in this dungeon is so nice
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didn't get any good pics bc i was too busy dungeoning but so pretty...best dungeon music so far goes to snowcloak though btw
#ffxivposting#i knew it was coming bc i tried to use the google search bar as a spellcheck for his name (LOL) like a DUMBASS because in the suggestions..#i was like no!! no!! but he's so funny!!!!!! and the second he showed up in game again i started taking screenshots of me n the bestieee#it wouldnt be accurate to say that i am Emotional about this but i am like aw man...but he was so funny...insert montage of All The Memorie#was crazy seeing her looking so distressed in a cutscene. girl me too! he was so funny </3#the loud ass screenshot sound effects throughout the cutscene were funny though.this is who i am#altogether i have like 150+ screenshots of this game thus far.serious shit#IN OTHER NEWS:#- i cant stop laughing at finding out that a.lphinaud is in fact 16 years old. like i was guessing he was 17 or so but man it checks out#so hard. smart fella or not of course the sixteen year old boy naively founded a private army. it checks out so hard. hes cute :)#- since the tail end of arr patch quests ive been checking npc dialogue of relevant characters and thats a bit of a goldmine sometimes#- the first time aymeric(?) (not double checking via google ive learned my lesson) showed up i joked that he was going to be an akc type#and well no. he's really not. but i did cackle when it was revealed that he was a bastard child. clocked him on accident#- addicted to dalamud red dye. was funny when estinien started rocking his blood red armor like omg now we're Extra twinsies!#funny to me when they acknowledge the whole drg class stuff. like ah yes the Other azure drg. sorry estinien this feels like stolen valor#this is just what happens when u play f.fiv multiple times when u are r like 6. and also just think lances are sexy.#- can't wait to find out where tf the rest of the scions went. hi guys. you wont Believe what happened while you were AFK!#that's right! dragons! and then theyre like I Haven't Seen The Light Of The Sun For An Ambiguous Amount Of Time...cowabummer!#i keep joking abt needing to do a wellness check on urianger but honestly hes fine hes living it up in the sand. hes doing fine#- anyway can someone do a wellness check on ysayle(?).#- i've unlocked flight in a couple zones! thankkk god. some of these places are ROUGH to navigate without it sometimes.#- my keybinds are rough. also i have a gauge now. havent gotten to use it bc of level sync but anyway this feels like school#dont worry chat i only do duties with other real players when i Literally Have To Because They Make Me#- anyway. very ? about what theyre going to do with the rest of this story. intrigued. and quite sleepy i must say.
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offonaherosjourney · 1 year
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"Aww, it's so cute that Tumblr users keep old posts circulating". Thanks, it's because the search feature is irremediably broken
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zo1nkss · 1 year
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I wamt so badly to learn how to make gifs but I've tried googling my entire fucking life away looking for information on HOW THE FUCK YOU DO THAT and I have come out with 0 answers :)
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lonesomedotmp3 · 2 years
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the thing is that uni is good for me when it's not being horrifically bad for me like it's complicated
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ceruleanpunch · 1 year
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so many shounen/seinen series especiallythosewrittenbymen will stumble on the most compelling female characters and/or wlw bond only to completely squander it and focus on the most annoying and boring audience blank canvas protagonists/supporting cast imaginable
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karmaphone · 3 months
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okay but as someone pretty new to this is there a protocol for getting fundraisers vetted? Like if someone messages me asking to share and they're not vetted yet, is there someone I can ask to vet them?
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stuckinakillingjar · 4 months
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i wish the tumblr search system worked like the one on twitter this is fucking me upppp
like- keep the post type, date and order filters, but how about you actually show me posts that include the word that i've typed into the search bar???
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chatsukimi · 4 months
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ᴄᴏᴜʀᴛɪɴɢ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ
featuring: protective!heian!sukuna, kindhearted!servant!reader. slight angst/hurt -> comfort. synopsis: you're sick. to your surprise, you're rescued by the man second closest to death himself. masterlist
you should've known he wouldn't come. sukuna has never set foot in the servant's headquarters in his life, let alone to chase after a sick servant. you lower your head, trying to ease the headache that has plagued you through the day.
sukuna loves his bloodshed and his gore. him and death would be good friends, you think to yourself. he wouldn't care if your body was burnt or buried, you think to yourself; wouldn't care if you died at all.
the room the others put you in is empty. ash spreads neatly over the cold floor. the scent of kibble haunts the atmosphere. it's where they put the dogs before sukuna killed them.
ever since you took care of the king of curses while he was sick, the other servants had been careful in keeping a distance from you. not in ill of heart; they're simply terrified at what you must've done to survive in your week long stay with the monster. honestly, you don't blame them.
but now when you're laying on the freezing ground, struggling to breathe, it's hard not to.
'this is where you live?'
your eyes look up. shock. then, with all the strength you can muster, you heave yourself one step away from the man at the doorway, which only serves to piss him off more.
sukuna ryomen, in all his glory, looks down at you. bending down to pick you up like a limp doll to be seated against the wall, he seems to revel in his regained strength. you can't help but feel happy for him, to have survived this fatal disease. not many men can attest to that...
then again, he is no ordinary man.
'i asked you a question.'
you nod, a small thing, barely a movement. he seems to clench his teeth.
he takes off his long white coat, flaunting a layer of dried blood, and drapes it over your shoulders.
yet it doesn't end there. he retrieves from his pocket a bottle of what looks to be a golden syrup.
you know exactly what it is.
he takes your hand and wraps it around the flask, making you hold it, sparing, not one, but two of his eyes, to stare at you, making sure you do as he commands.
'swallow.'
you shake your head. you know he's asking you to do. this is a medication is so rare for your disease that no sorcerer has found in over a hundred years. he's brought this thing of myth right to your very lips. now he's asking you to drink it, and thus take away any chance of it saving anyone else's life.
you scowl, but the tickling sensation in your throat grows stronger, eventually erupting out of your mouth in a harsh cough. you look away from sukuna.
'leave,' you whisper, weakly. 'don't wanna infect you.'
'i survived the illness already. i've developed an immunity.'
you shake your head again. you couldn't threaten your king's health with your own weakness. you just couldn't.
'i can't take this.'
he growls. without any notice, he swallows your lips in a kiss. in the momentary haze, you could hardly resist, fisting the front of his kimono to ground yourself. then, you feel something sweet, honey-ish, hit your tongue.
with his hand locked on your chin, it forces you to swallow.
you pull back, pushing him away. he groans.
he wipes his mouth, still with two eyes staring.
no... no, why did he do that?
'y-you- how? no... why did you waste it on me?' you whisper, desperately searching his face for an answer. 'i'm just a servant. you could've given it to a princess, or a scholar, or priest-'
he grabs you by the arm and forces you into his arms. its heat astounds you, and you find yourself crawling closer. a vague thumping sound seems to press against your ear-
oh. you calm your breathing.
it's his heartbeat.
alive.
'sleep in my room tonight,' he demands.
what did he say? you strain your mind, trying to replay what he said earlier. no... maybe you heard correctly.
'but i'm no concubine,' you respond, instantly.
his arm supports your waist, helping you up effortlessly to your feet. he then directs two of his eyes to the doorway, his cadence low and domineering.
'it doesn't matter.'
he leads you placidly through the servant's quarters. you notice all conversation cease at your entry, bodies dropping into a low bow. a small voice in you whispers that it's where you should be too. you tug at sukuna's arm.
'i'm only a servant, sukuna.'
you know what it looks like, a servant clutching onto a man, more god than human. a man who has slaughtered villages, blood staining the base of his kimono crimson, and turned half a province on its head, just to save you.
'whatever you are in my eyes is what you are to the world,' he states, his expression unchanging. 'if i deem you a queen, that is who you are.'
exiting the servant compound, you know you can't say no- not like you wanted to. the wide expanse of his chest is comforting.
yet however sweet this feeling remains, you can't help but gulp. perhaps this is the closest a human has ever come to courting death.
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stephanidftba · 1 year
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I was looking for a book trailer with Elise Bauman in it (I think it was her) and got an ad that I could get Elise Bauman on Amazon.
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fastandcarlos · 2 months
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Red Or Papaya : ̗̀➛ Lando Norris
summary: when fred vasseur starts hanging out at mclaren, people are wondering why. little do people know there’s a little connection joining these together into an unlikely friendship
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
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liked by landowins101, landoscarfan and 4,589 others
f1gossip: fans are questioning why ferrari team principal fred vasseur was found in the mclaren garage over the weekend, inviting himself to be of the celebrations for lando norris’ maiden victory.
574 comments
username1: i don't get it, why would you celebrate with a rival team?? 🤔
username2: it's the big smile on his face for me... 😭
username3: i did not have this on my bingo card wtf is going on
username4: is there something going on here that we don't know about?
username5: have i blinked and missed a chapter or something? 🤯
username6: pls tell me someone can make sense of this, the most unlikely friendship ever
username7: has he not got his own team to be celebrating a podium with?
username8: i've been staring at these photos for hours and i still don't get it
landonorris: idk what you’re implying…clearly I’m just a popular guy 😂🤷🏻
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liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 784,103 others
ynvasseur: finishing the season with a little company on my summer adventures this year 💕☀️
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alexandrasaintmleux: and here i was thinking i was gonna get to spend my summer with you 💔
ynvasseur: @/alexandrasaintmleux don't tell lando but i plan on bailing just for you
username9: how have they managed to keep this a secret from us all season
landonorris: gonna be the best summer break ever! 🫶🏻
ynvasseur: @/landonorris cannot wait to spend nonstop sunny days with you 💕💕
username10: well...at least now we know why fred and lando are besties
charles_leclerc: sorry have you forgotten the team that your dad is principal for??? 😂
username11: the only mclaren x ferrari crossover i support is carlando
username12: i don't understand how none of us have picked up on this
carlossainz55: hello traitor 🙄
ynvasseur: @/carlossainz55 says the man who's driven for most of the teams on the grid wow 🙂‍↕️
carlossainz55: @/ynvasseur gotta pay the bills somehow kiddo
username13: i can't deal with how cute these photos are omg
username14: no one speak to me for the foreseeable whilst i get over this 😭
oscarpiastri: can you make sure that he comes back in one piece please 😊
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liked by oscarpiastri, ynvasseur and 1,483,172 others
britishgq: in this week’s edition we catch up with f1 driver lando norris who opens up about his new relationship with the daughter of ferrari’s team principal yn vasseur 🇬🇧🏎️
173,492 comments
username15: obsessed with the fact it was carlos that actually introduced the two of them
username16: he actually sounds like he's so in love this is adorable
landonorris: thank you for a great time british gq!! ❤️
username17: thank you gq for giving us all the gossip we've been searching for
username18: not carlos setting lando up like a proud dad 😂
danielricciardo: how is an article the way I’m finding out about this relationship 😭
username19: i think daniel might've been sleeping under a rock
username20: okay but who does yn support in the constructors next year now?? 🤔
username21: he's literally gushing about her, look how happy he is with her!!
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liked by landonorris, ynvasseur and 349,604 others
mclaren: yn vasseur found hanging around the mclaren garage, does this mean she’s ours now? @/scuderiaferrari
42,182 comments
username22: ferrari come and get your girl...
landonorris: not even safe in my own garage from pap like photos 🤦🏻‍♂️
mclaren: @/landonorris admin sends their apologies
username23: i'm so happy they feel comfortable enough to be public with each other now
oscarpiastri: welcome to the best team in the paddock yn 🤝
username24: the way he hides his face in his neck omg lando
username25: the hottest couple to ever appear on the grid, no one can argue with me on that
danielricciardo: since when were mclaren such a team of stalkers lmao 😂😂😂
username26: just imagine the ferrari admin having a breakdown seeing these photos
username27: is this a transition to papaya that we're seeing before us?? 🧡
ynvasseur: damn i thought you guys were supposed to protect me not throw me under the bus
username28: lando can't even breathe around his own team anymore hahah
scudieraferrari: oh it's on, we're not giving yn up without a fight
mclaren: @/scuderiaferrari when you catch us up in the constructors we'll answer your calls...
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liked by oscarpiastri, carlossainz55 and 747,960 others
ynvasseur: i call these photos sneaking into the opposition’s garage and hiding from your dad 😂
67,323 comments
username29: stop the way he looks at her…
landonorris: calling security to get you outta here stalker
ynvasseur: @/landonorris that's alright, i'll just head back over to ferrari ❤️
landonorris: @/ynvasseur wait i'm sorry come back!!! 🧡
username30: as if fred would ever stop yn from going to see the love of her life
maxverstappen1: why are you turning a grown man into a squishy baby wtf is happening here
username31: I watched the interview for the first pic earlier and his face lit up as soon as he saw yn
carmenmmundt: come and visit me like you come and visit lando
ynvasseur: @/carmenmmundt i'm on my way bby 🏃🏻‍♀️
username32: I wish I had a guy who looked at me like this too
oscarpiastri: this kid has not stopped talking about you since you showed up at the garage today 🥺
username33: not yn still calling mclaren the opposition…she’s a ferrari girl still!!
username34: @/username33 she's still bitter at them for peeping on her and lando lmao
georgerussell63: i second oscar here pls tell your boyfriend to change the record
username35: his smile has me feeling things ngl
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liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 937,506 others
ynvasseur: what ferrari want you to see vs what I get to see…i promise my dad and lando are friends 🥺🍻
78,475 comments
username36: carlando is still in my heart sorry fred 🫶🏻
carlossainz55: i for one am disgusted that ferrari would try and crop papa vasseur out like this...
ynvasseur: @/carlossainz55 thank you for your love and support during these tricky times
username37: i love how fred just can’t stay away whenever lando is near
scuderiaferrari: admin says to stop exposing our posts like this 💔
username38: they’ve got such a special friendship this is adorable
iamrebeccad: can you tell carlos to stop nattering with your boyfriend and get back to the garage so we can go home
ynvasseur: @/iamrebeccad sorry but carlando are refusing to separate
username39: is that fred giving lando a beer two wtf 😂😂
landonorris: no one can deny that fred vasseur now officially loves me more than his own drivers
username40: poor carlos third wheeling the true friendship here 😭
oscarpiastri: wondering where my team mate is only to see he's gone back to his ex
danielricciardo: @/oscarpiastri he'll flirt with anyone that guy
username41: ferrari stop depriving us of sweet son in law lando content pls
username42: the look in fred’s eyes, a proud dad if I ever saw one ❤️
charles_leclerc: patiently waiting for fred to invite me for a beer like he does lando like... 😭
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liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 3,859,684 others
landonorris: we couldn’t decide on red or orange so we settled on blue 💙
583,708 comments
username43: it’s not fair how adorable these two are…
carlossainz55: someone just pass me the sick bucket now please
username44: imagine being poor yn and having to pick a side 😂
maxverstappen1: does that mean you support…red bull???
landonorris: @/maxverstappen1 absolutely not stfu 🤮
username45: forever my fave couple in the paddock
username46: it’s a good job blue suits you guys so well! 💙
ynvasseur: the only person i'd wear any other colour but red for
username47: fred must be so happy his daughter has found such a good guy in lando
danielricciardo: tell me you're a secret red bull fan without telling me you're a secret red bull fan 🤷🏻
ynvasseur: @/danielricciardo 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻
username48: if these two ever breakup i will officially give up on love
charles_leclerc: i hope you look after our girl norris
landonorris: @/charles_leclerc i'll treat her like the queen that she is dw 👑
username49: yn really is winning at life isn’t she
username50: look at their faces my heart is racing 😍
oscarpiastri: can you put yn down and hurry your ass up to briefing now
˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
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thedivinecalamity · 1 year
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It's my 9 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
^ Apparently I've been on this godforsaken site for 10 years now. (Yes, 10 years. I had a blog with a default icon and no posts for about a year before I deleted it and started this blog).
Can someone let me out yet.
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ozzgin · 10 months
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Yandere! Yakuza x Reader
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I've been plagued by this idea for a while, so let me know what you think! This is just the character introduction. Your new landlord is a Yakuza boss, and his scary looking underling has been tasked to deal with your tenant needs! Although he didn't expect you to be this cute. And you didn't expect him to be this unhinged.
Content: female reader, violence, mentions of stalking
[Part 2] | [Yakuza Masterlist]
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This was the last straw.
You're angrily stuffing your suitcase with necessities before the moving company arrives. Each glimpse around the cramped apartment fills you with outrage, as you're still heavily shaken from the events of last night. 
You first begun to suspect you might have a stalker when you found your outer lock with a fresh dent in it. You then picked a small scrap from the ground nearby and assumed it was leftover damage, but upon further inspection you discovered, disgusted, that it was part of your peephole. Someone must've fiddled with your door a fair amount. You tried to approach your immediate neighbors for help, but they either refused to answer your persistent knocks or downright scurried away when faced with your questions. They didn't want to deal with a foreigner. 
You tried to put it behind you. The police advised you to be cautions, as there was nothing else they could do without concrete evidence. And thankfully, you had several peaceful weeks following the incident. Last night you were suddenly awakened by faint scratches coming from your balcony. You groggily got up and wondered if your recently added bird feeder was attracting nocturnal visitors. You got up without turning on the light, hoping to catch a glimpse of the mysterious animal. As you pulled the drape, however, you were met with the large frame of a man plucking your laundry in a hurry. 
A panicked scream erupted from the depths of your chest and you slapped the light switch, erratically searching for your phone. By the time you dialed emergency, the intruder had vanished. You were sobbing against the wall under the fake reassurances of the operator, eyeing the sliding door that had no lock. Had he wished, the masked man could've easily invited himself in. You were at the mercy of a lunatic and no one seemed to be impressed by your situation. 
No more. Ideally you'd go back to your home country and forget about your plans to build yourself a life in Japan. What were you even thinking? A lonely girl, low on funds, signing a contract to be relocated across the ocean for work. You barely scraped the first months of a mandatory year. 
You close your suitcase with a satisfying click and on your way out you wipe the table of all the newspaper clippings. You've been scanning the potential offers on the market. The ones within your budget, of course, which means you don't have to worry about being picky. Until you find a new place, your belongings can wait in storage. Dusty furniture is a better prospect than waking up with a pervert looming over you. 
By the time the clock hits evening hours, you're sipping on your iced coffee with a defeated sigh. Most of the cheap apartments seem to be given to locals. Not outsiders like you. At least they spared you of the false hopes and curtly told you to not expect any call back, so you can swiftly move on to the next circled address. You pull out the crumbled sheet of paper from your pocket. Reading over your list of crossed out lines like this deflates you greatly. At the very bottom lies your final hope: the ad you'd stumbled upon this morning was too good to be true and the realtor was available for viewing at any time, so you're almost certain it's some sort of scam. Yet you can't afford to skip it, can you? You stand up, pat your jeans and take a deep breath in. 
As you check your phone to confirm the location, you begin to doubt your decision. It's hard to believe no other potential renters have showed up. The apartment is in a convenient area, very close to public transport, at a great price, on what looks like a busy street. Isn't it the dream? So why? You glance around, examining the surroundings. The shops are bustling with people. You try to come up with possible explanations, when a deep voice startles you.
"You must be (Y/N), right? You sure are easy to spot."
You turn around to greet the person. Although the second you spot him, you take an unconscious step back. You'd expected a middle aged man dressed in formal attire with a shy bow and clumsy movements. The one standing before you resembles none of that. He's imposingly tall, with a muscular built and slicked back hair. You can discern the tattoos peeking out from under the rolled up sleeves. His face has multiple deep scars and you can only assume that the pale, discolored eye that's transfixed in one direction is a fake made of glass. One might call him handsome, if you're into the kind of appearance you see in documentaries about the mafia. 
"Y-you're the landlord?" You stutter, immediately covering your mouth and regretting your lack of tact. 
"Nuh uh, Boss sent me to deal with it." He flashes you a genuine grin, completely unperturbed by your offhanded implication. "I'm Daitou."
He continues towards the entrance and you follow behind, too awkward to back down now. He describes the living quarters with surprising enthusiasm. If you were to close your eyes and disregard his heavy Kansai accent, you could very well be convinced it's a professional real estate agent hard at work. 
"Excuse me for asking, but..." Once he finishes his marketing presentation, you cannot help the increasing anxiety. "What's the catch?"
"Huh?"
"For something like this to be so cheap...and no one else being interested...may I be frank and ask what's wrong with it? Please understand, I just left my previous apartment because of a stalker. I don't want to be packing again anytime soon."
"Well, isn't it obvious?" He searches your gaze for a moment, before gasping as if remembering something. "Wait, you're a foreigner, so I guess you don't know. Ah, that explains it." 
He lets out a hearty laugh, satisfied with his conclusion. 
"You didn't notice anything strange outside?"
You ponder his question before slowly shaking your head in denial. 
"Really? A bunch of heavily tattooed guys with family pins on their suits...This is a yakuza quarter. Our Family owns most businesses here. But lately we've had a lot of police on our backs, ya know? Bound to happen when the street is swarming with us. So Boss had this great idea - he's smart like that, ya know, I've never been the bright one - anyways, he suggested we rent some of our housing to regular civilians. Less suspicious that way." 
He crosses his arms and nods to himself proudly. 
"I myself think it's a great deal. You won't find anything cheaper for the kind of stuff you're getting. All you have to do is, you know, mind your business. If some weasel questions you, no Sir, you haven't seen or heard anything suspicious. That's all."
You can only stare wide eyed, somewhat taken aback by his honesty.
"Uh...Are you sure you were supposed to tell me all of this? I feel we're skipping some steps before admitting to organized crime."
Now it's his turn to consider your inquiry. 
"Probably not, but I'm not good with words. You look like a smart girl, so I thought I won't sugarcoat it. I'm sure you already know that if you leave and rat us out I'll be throwing your chopped up remains in the nearby river. Or would you want to be shipped home instead? I'm a nice guy like that, hehe."
You return a crooked smile and purse your lips in the process. You'd rather not learn the percentage of truth in his humor anytime soon. 
"You mentioned a stalker? I can guarantee you he won't follow here, miss. And if he's that dumb to wander on our turf, well, me and my guys always hang around the block. Leave him to me and I'll bring you his teeth in a box." 
"I-...Why teeth of all the things?"
"Just easier to pull out, ya know." He winks and reaches for his back pocket, revealing an old pair of pliers with childish delight. "See, I'm a bit of a handyman, so I always have some tools on me."
Strangely enough, you're not as terrified as you would expect from someone in your shoes. Certainly your knees are weaker when compared to your pre-encounter state, but there's something about his demeanor that doesn't feel malicious or threatening. Like conversing with an old friend at a pub. 
"Will I truly not get in trouble? You guys do your thing and I'm 100% not involved?"
"You have my word." And with that, as if closing the sale of his lifetime, he confidently slaps a stack of papers on the nearby counter and hands you a pen. "You already have my number, if anyone pisses you off just hit me up and I'll be at your service. Boss left everything to me."
No perverts and less of your monthly allowance going towards rent. Maybe it's your despair talking, but you've been persuaded nonetheless. You scribble your name in the designated field and shove the documents towards your new acquaintance. 
"Pleasure doing business with you, miss (Y/N)." He cheerfully dangles the keys before dropping them in your hand and heads for the door.
"Oh, is shipping included in the rent?"
He stops and turns to you, mildly confused.
"You said if I mess up you'll ship my remains home. Do I pay for the postage myself, or is that part of the monthly tax?" You ask with a cheeky grin. 
His eyes narrow in delight and you can tell he's greatly amused by your words. 
"Nah, consider it a gift from me. Gotta treat a lady nice, 'specially if it's a pretty one like you."
And with that, you're alone again. You look around the room, trying to visualize your new home. It's already getting dark outside. Now that you've had the situation explained to you, you can definitely see what Daitou meant. There's the occasional police officer patrolling the street, and plenty of men dressed in similar fashion walking in small groups. 
"And?"
Outside the building, a young man is leaning against the wall with a cigarette in his mouth. He seems to have been waiting for Daitou. 
"It's done. Some cute foreigner is moving in." He lifts an arm in a flexing motion, patting his bicep in a congratulatory manner. "Boss will be surprised, eh?"
"You're fucking with me."
"What? You wanna go back upstairs and check?" He responds, appalled. "Might've taken longer than expected, but I told ya I can manage!"
"Are you sure you didn't threaten her or something? I still don't know what Boss was thinking when he asked a nutcase like you to deal with the civvies." 
"Hey hey hey, I may not be all fancy speaking like you or Kazuya, but I'm not dumb. Matter of fact, she already signed the papers."
"I never said you're dumb. Just batshit crazy." The young man sighs and flicks his cigarette butt away, stomping on it.
"Let's go and tell the others."
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bbyquokka · 17 days
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blow me instead?
– “Why should I blow out the candles, when you can just blow me instead?” prompt
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pairing | lee felix x gender-neutral reader
genre | smut – 18+ is strongly advised!
cw | established relationship ; dom felix ; oral sex (blowjob) ; finger sucking ; cum swallowing ; deep throating
words | 2.6k ~ ( 2,693 ) + 2 fake texts !
notes | a lil smth for felix's bday. jisung's will be posted at a later date when i've finished it :( don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. i hope you all enjoy! ‹3
m.list — wips list — you can also read it on my ao3
dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!
you forgot. you’ve forgotten the most important day of the year and you are currently kicking yourself for it. it’s felix’s birthday, the one day of the year that you look forward to every single year – but for some unknown reason, this year you forgot.
maybe it’s because you’ve both been really busy that you haven’t given it a second thought. you’re always well prepared for things like this, but this year it slipped your mind.
you knew you forgotten something but you couldn't tell what. you had that nagging feeling in the back of your mind but you pushed it to the side. “i’ll figure it out later” you always told yourself only to forget – once again.
it wasn't until the day before, did you looked at your calendar and see ‘15th sept’ circled and decorated in hearts, labelled ‘felix’s bday!!’ did you panic. that nagging feeling quickly turned into a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. worry and panic washing over you and coating your skin in a cold sweat.
it was way into the night to go to the store to pick something up. everything was closed. you thought about making him something but realised that you don't have the materials to do so. so a quick search on the web was your last resort. you hoped you could find something that would do next day delivery but alas, after several hours of searching and drawing up blanks, did you accept your fate.
you woke up the day of his birthday, feeling guilty and it's eating you alive. you don't think you'd be able to face to him without bursting into tears.
“i should at least wish him a happy birthday.” you mumble. you take your phone from the night stand and open up felix's contact. your thumb hovers over the green circle. 
you hesitate. lips pursed together. you overthink. you can hear his sullen tone of voice. you can see his facial expressions twisted into sadness. your heart aches and feels tight, like someone is gripping onto it.
“fuck. i can't.” you throw your phone onto the bed beside you, watching it bounce from impact before rubbing your face with your hands and groaning. “maybe a shower will help me. i’ll call him then!” 
you didn't call him. in fact, you spent the whole day avoiding him. you did pop to the store and buy a small box of cupcakes and some candles. you had this idea of surprising him by turning up at his place with a fancy birthday cake, thinking it's better than nothing,  but when the store only had cupcakes to offer, that idea was quick to fizzle out.
the cakes are now sitting on the counter, untouched and unopened. you're in your lounge wear on the sofa, TV on but you're not tuned into whatever show it's playing. instead, you're on your social media, looking at what felix has been up to the whole day.
pictures of felix with chan, jisung and hyunjin. birthday wishes from friends and family flood his profiles. you're glad he's had a good day but that guilt just won't go away. 
you've shamelessly avoided him the whole day because you couldn't face him. it's cowardly of you and you know it, but in a way, you just shut off.
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you rush to your feet. your sock covered soles slapping against the floor as you rush to the door. you open it and come face to face with a not so pleased looking felix.
'“i see you're still alive.” you swallow. he sounds irritated. he's angry at you and you don't blame him.
“felix, i–”
“are you going to let me in or are we just going to stand out in the hallway?” he cuts you off. you look down at your feet and shuffle to the side, opening the door wider for him.
he walks in, kicking off his shoes and hanging up his coat as you close the door behind him. he notices the unopened cupcakes and pack of birthday candles by the side of them.
“so?” he starts as he looks at you. your chin is tucked into your chest, fingers fiddling with one another. you feel like a child about to be told off by a parent.
“i'm so sorry, felix.” you start, keeping your eyes glued to your feet. you don't want to make eye contact with him because the guilt of forgetting is eating you alive. it's making you feel incredibly nauseous.
“for?” his arms crossed against his chest as he looks down at you, brow raised. his authoritative and dominant aura seeps out from his pores and clouds you, suffocating you in the process.
“... i–uh…” you start, words lodged in your throat. felix lets out a small, irritated sigh. “I forgot about your birthday.” 
your voice is small and cracks. you furiously blink back the tears that are threatening to spill from your lower lash line.
“you forgot?” you nod slowly. “is that why you've been avoiding me?” you nod again. “why?”
“because i thought you'd be angry at me… like right now.” felix runs his fingers through his hair slowly.
“i’m not angry that you forgot. it happens. i’m angry because you avoided me on my birthday.”
“i know.. i’m sorry.” you look up at him and chew your bottom lip. the cupcakes catch the corner of your eye. you rush to then, opening them and the candles before sticking one in the middle of the cake.
felix follows you and watches you with eager eyes. his gaze suddenly feels hot. he licks his lips as he admires your body, eyes flickering up and down.
he's undressing you with his eyes. 
you turn around, holding the cupcake in your hand with the candle flame flickering. you present it in front of felix and smile.
“i got you cupcakes though. i know it's not much but i couldn't find anything on such short notice…” felix simply hums and looks at the cake, then you. “are you not going to blow it out?” you question after some seconds pass.
felix leans in close. his lips brush against the shell of your ear as his voice drops and becomes low and deep. his warm breath fans against your ear as he speaks.
“why should i blow out the candles when you can just blow me instead?” 
goosebumps ripple along your skin. your heart suddenly starts racing. his breath feels ticklish against your ear, body temperature suddenly rising
“f-felix!” you squeak as he pulls back, finding amusement at your shocked facial expression. 
“i assume you didn't get me a gift so i can consider a blowjob as one. and if you do a good job, maybe i’ll let you off the hook for avoiding me on my special day.” 
“i–” you swallow a little, the heat from the candle is radiating onto your chin, adding to the increase of your own body temperature.
felix keeps his brow raised before trailing his hand down his torso to his groin where he squeezes and groans softly.
you can't take your eyes off him. you watch his hand squeeze and palm himself through his jeans. his veins bulging from his hands and arms. 
he kicks his head back a little, lips parting and giving you a view of his outstretched neck. his adams apple bobbing with his swallows. soft moan and grunts leaving his parted lips.
“don't just stand there.” his deep voice brings you back down to reality. “blow me.”
you place the cake down on the counter (after you blow out the candle) before kneeling in front of felix. he looks down at you. his dominate aura making you feel small and vulnerable but excited.
you can feel the pit of your stomach tingle and bubble with excitement. warmth coating your groin. the tips of your fingers and toes feel electric from the surging feeling of excitement that's mixed in with hormones.
you reach up and slide your hands up and under his t-shirt. his warm skin hugs the tips of your fingers. the sturdiness of his abs flexing and tensing with his stomach moving in time with his breathing.
you feel his smooth skin, tracing his muscles with your fingers. the only thing that isn't smooth, however, is the small, yet noticeable happy trail that runs from his belly button and disappears below his jean waistband.
“mhm..” felix hums softly, your touch giving him goosebumps. you move your hands lower until they come into contact with the rough fabric of his denim jeans.
you look up at him, asking for permission with your eyes to which he gives with a nod of his head.
you unbutton and unzip his jeans slowly, revealing that he is wearing black designer boxer shorts. you notice how his bulge is slowly, but surely, getting bigger with each passing second as he anticipates and waits.
you pull his jeans down to his knees. you press the palm of your hand against his crotch, massaging him slowly. he huffs. his cock twitching against the palm of your hand.
you give him a few gentle squeezes. your touch is too gentle for his liking so he looks down again you with glossy eyes.
“harder.”
you oblige by wrapping your fingers around his clothed length and squeezing, hard. his hips buck slightly and a soft, deep moan falls from his lips.
you feel his warm hand pressing against your cheek as his fingers graze along your jawline before bumping against your bottom lip.
he slowly strokes your lip, chewing on his own. 
“look at me.” you look up at him, making eye contact. two of his fingers nudge between your lips, gently pushing past them as you part them.
“good.” he whispers as his fingers caress your tongue. your brows furrow together, lips wrapping around the two digits as you suck. your saliva coats felix's fingers thoroughly whilst he pushes them further into your mouth until they're fully encapsulated in the warmth of your mouth.
the hand that around his clothed length has slowed down and is now loosely gripping him. your groin feels hot and excited, tingles in your stomach as felix explores the inside of your mouth with his two fingers before pulling them out slowly.
he gives a satisfying ‘hm’ before instructing you to continue with the nod of his head.
you whimper a little and reach up with both hands, grabbing the waistband of his boxer shorts. your fingertips brush against his hot skin, causing felix to shiver and huff in excitement.
you slowly pull down his underwear, revealing his happy train and v-lines slowly before his erect penis is revealed, bouncing and twitching at the sudden cold air hitting his hot shaft.
felix lets out a small breath of relief. the feeling of being restrained is no longer an issue. his hips buck slightly as you wrap your hand around the base of his shaft, stroking it slowly.
you watch the man above you slowly crumble. his penis twitching, pre-cum leaking from his slit. his shaft is hot against the palm of your hand, tip red and a few veins protruding along the sides.
your hand glides up and down his penis, rotating at the top. you use the pad of your thumb to gently rub his tip, smearing the pre-cum and making his tip glisten.
the sensitivity gets to felix. his hips rocking a little in your hand against his will, thigh muscles noticeable twitching. his head flops to the side slightly, half-lidded eyes looking down at you and watching your every move.
you lean in and lick the side of his shaft a few times before pressing your tongue against his tip and swiping it several times. his salty pre-cum coats your tastes buds, making you feel more excited.
you rub your thighs together as the heat in your groin is unbearable at this point. you're desperate for some sort of friction and attention but you're too into pleasuring felix. with the way felix is right now, you know he is going to be selfish and chase his own high.
your free hand cups and caresses his balls. felix hums softly as you roll and squeeze them gently in your hand whilst kitten licking his tip.
“c’mon, baby. you know i need more than that.” 
you close your eyes as you wrap your lips around his tip. felix shudders and huffs a little, his teeth digging into his bottom lip. you gently suckle on his tip, swirling your tongue around it a few times before slowly lowering your head and pushing more of him into your mouth.
the corner of your lips feels stretched, mouth stuffed. you try to make your jaw slack but even that is a struggle with how thick and long felix is.
you struggle to put half of his length in, settling with a little under. you can feel his tip bumping the back of your throat and saliva is quick to accumulate in your mouth.
felix huffs and puffs, body shuddering and twitching. he reaches down and runs his fingers through your hair a few times. 
you start to bob your head slowly. your hand stroking what your mouth struggles to reach. the head and hand move in synch with each other, providing equally, if not more, pleasure to felix.
he feels the pleasure rushing through his veins and burning. his toes curl against the floorboards and his grip on your hair tightening with each suck as a way to keep him stable and grounded.
“...fuck … baby, m-more..” he pants.
you oblige, increasing speed and intensity. felix's moans become more intense and breathy. his body and mind failing to comprehend the intense feeling of warmth and wetness from your mouth as well as the coolness of your palm.
“... oh fuck.. yes… so fucking good…” 
this just encourages you even more. you remove your hand and place them both on his thighs for stability. you push your head further down his length until you can feel it down your throat.
you hold back your gag reflex, swallowing a few times to tighten your throat around him. felix lets out a string of incoherent moans and whispers. 
your jaw hurts. your lips hurts. your knees hurt and you can't breath but listening to felix whimper and crumble makes it all worth.
you feel him twitch in your mouth. his hips thrusting involuntarily. he's a mess and he's close.
his balls are tightening and his body is coated in a thin layer of sweat. the sensitivity of his cock head is overbearing. 
“don’t stop.. 'm close..” he struggles to say between his moaning. his strangled moans mix in with the sloppy, wet sounds of your mouth. 
he lowers his head, chin tucked into chest as he whimpers. a string of “fuck” leaves his lips as he grips onto you. it doesnt take him long. his cock twitches in your mouth, hot fluid coating your tongue and throat.
felix whimpers and whines, huffing and puffing. his body twitches and jerks. you help him ride out his orgasm before slowly pulling away. 
you look up at him, making eye contact as you swallow. felix shudders and strokes your swollen bottom lip, saliva collecting on the pad of his thumb.
“you did good, yn.” with felix's help, you rise to your feet. the numb feeling of pain on your knees becoming more noticeable now that your legs are outstretched.
“does this mean i’m forgiven?” you mumble. felix nods and strokes your hair gently.
“sorta.” you look at him slightly confused. “my birthday isn't over just yet, yn.”
“true… so, what do you want?” 
felix takes you by the hand and drags you to the bedroom. he gently throws you onto the bed, stripping himself of his clothing as you lean on your forearms and watch.
“i want so much more.” he purrs as he crawls onto the bed, towering over you and kissing the shell of your ear.
“i’m a greedy man, yn. you should know that a blowjob is not nearly enough to satisfy me.”
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psychicpinenut · 2 years
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can anyone find me that crack ship video of one of the characters from big mouth and morty from rick and morty edited to love story by taylor swift
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