#but I'm not gonna double check because we done

[reignpage]

Hi!! If you have the time- how would the jjk guys react to the reader giving them the silent treatment?

I hope you're having a wonderful day!

Gojo:

Would try to make you laugh at first When that doesn't work and he notices you're just getting more irritated, he'd start bribing you Buys you flowers, handbags, dresses, jewellery you name it If you're still silent, then he'll go deadly serious Would confront you in the dark, sitting on the sofa like he's been waiting for hours 'Is there nothing I can do? Are we done for good? Are you leaving me too?'

Geto:

Gets snarky Two can play that game He's not the calm and patient guy everyone thinks he is He just reacts in subtle ways Makes passive-aggressive comments But eventually will get tired, sighs and just asks you straight up what he did wrong 'Alright, what happened? Let me inside that head of yours.'

Choso:

Keeps asking you what's wrong Gets really sad and depressed Very much kicked puppy vibes Just follows you around everywhere Until you crack 'I didn't know what I did but I'm sorry. Please talk to me? I'm scared'

Toji:

LOL LMFAO ROFL This man would be soooo annoying He'd be smug as hell at first Says shit like 'It's nice to have peace and quiet here' 'You should get mad at me more often ma' BUT eventually realising you're not gonna crack He'll start to get nervous Starts cleaning up after himself Double checks to make sure the trash is out, he hasn't left any dishes in the sink, didn't miss any appointments or anniversaries etc etc Would send Megumi in to get a feel for your mood 'make yourself extra cute kid' 'ask her why she isn't speaking to me. no don't tell her I told you to. whose side are you on?'

Nanami:

Would ask you immediately if there's something wrong Is so mature and healthy it's irritating 'please communicate with me, darling. I can't apologise and fix whatever I ruined if you don't talk to me.' Eventually, he'll give you space But then you'll start feeling really bad because he'll assume that you hate him or something Like, he'll start buying sandwiches to take to work cause he thinks you won't make lunch for him like normal or sleeps on the couch eats dinner and watches shows by himself so you cave first and the smile he gives you is so worth it

Sukuna:

Doesn't notice a thing at first He isn't the type to be clingy, he's not the affectionate one, he mostly returns it So there'll just be a period of silence Until he begins to feel your absence in which case he'll seek you out and then becomes the clingy one 'it is a pleasant day out, would you care to join me for a stroll? gets sooo offended if you don't say anything 'no? would you prefer to stroll with someone else? tell me who and they will be killed. in fact, continue to remain in silence and everyone will be killed.'

Yuji:

Confused :0 asks Nobara for advice 'you're a girl, she's a girl. so tell me what's going on' 'is it the time of the month?' uses loads of different tricks to make you break performs dances and skits gets Gojo involved tries to get Megumi involved (no chance) he's so stupid you just have to cave and explain he's an idiot and he'll nod happily

Megumi:

yeahhhhhh you'll be having a silent off for days and weeks you'll both continue to co-exist in silence it's just not smart

Inumaki:

annoying as hell texts you shit like: 'when she copies you' 'ho is u good?' 'can you be original at least?' when that doesn't work he'll break into your social media or gaming accounts right in front of you and threatens to release a post pretending to be you like 'you know, hitler wasn't that bad' or an ugly picture of you then you'll have to cave and he gets so caught up in the victory, he'll accidentally post it yep, he's a dead man walking

[the-clock-of-the-time-dragon]

[Wicked Act II spoilers]

[edited for tone and clarity of purpose, apologies for initial crudeness and frustration]

Okay, obviously I'm biased, but I'm gonna need the Fiyeraba shippers to please set a lot of your people straight about some things. I've seen way too many people trying to say that Glinda is just a selfish bimbo and that Fiyero is a virtuous and selfless figure more worthy of Elphaba's love. I'll set aside for now the idea of "worthiness" in this context. But let's start off with Fiyero joining the Wizard. Hoo boy...

Yes, he was initially somewhat less tolerant of the propaganda against Elphaba than Glinda was; yes, he was secretly trying to find her so he could run away with her or whatever. But honey: those facts DO NOT fully absolve his actions as the Wizard's top officer, or selfish recklessness throughout Act II. I see so many popular threads and posts romanticizing and whitewashing with "oh but he didn't REALLY join the Wizard, he just pretended so he could try to get to Elphie! It's all for love, and he sacrificed everything for her!" As if the literal captain of the literally fascist forces responsible for the oppression of Animals wasn't equally responsible for said oppression?? Hello? Fiyero really didn't think of seeking out Elphaba in ANY other way that DIDN'T involve becoming *checks notes*... the trusted leader of the troops committing all the abuses she's fighting against in the first place???? Like it's cool and all that he helped with Brrr, and it's all well and good that he planned on betraying the Wizard as soon as he found Elphaba (which took literal years, so I guess we're left to assume he was prepared to just keep doing fascism indefinitely if she didn't show up????), but uh... it's kind of concerning to how eager some of you are to make excuses for this dude volunteering as the head of the Ozian Gestapo??? smdh

He didn't accomplish anything from it either, by the way — like yeah, we get it, he did everything he did whilst silently fantasizing about running away with the Witch he was being paid to hunt. Fine. But I can't be the only one who doesn't buy that as an actual excuse???? Like, guys: nobody forced him to join the fascist army — even with crazy ulterior motives. He wasn't coerced into it; it wasn't his only choice or anything. Searching for Elphaba did not somehow compel him to go and volunteer to follow (or to give!) orders in the name of the dictator who was trying to have her assassinated the entire time. He could have just not done all that. (Genuinely so curious how the second film plans on covering that material tbh)

Glinda made several questionable decisions that can be (and have been) debated, but she is still very unambiguously a victim. Her position in the Wizard's regime was foisted upon her. There are things we can discuss, but I find that many folks need reminding that Glinda would undoubtedly have been disposed of (or worse) if she failed to make herself useful. I mean hell: she wasn't even supposed to meet the Wizard in the first place — she was only there because of Elphie. If she'd tried to resist, it would have immediately gotten her labeled the Witch's accomplice. As soon as she'd chosen not to get on the broom, her fate was out of her hands, and all available options were varying degrees of horrible.

That's not the case with Fiyero. He went to the Wizard all on his own; no one ever cornered or forced him into it. Thinking Animals are people, and having a crush on Elphaba, simply did not stop him from carrying out the regime's orders — for years. It's not clear exactly how long he's been captain at the start of Act II, but the clear implication is that he's been a soldier for most of the time skip. I've seen Fiyeraba accounts with headcanons about him acting as a double agent, secretly doing stuff to help Animals — and that's a great idea, it would indeed serve to make a lot of his actions way more palatable — but until we actually get to SEE some of that (maybe they'll add it for the movie version of Act II; we'll have to see), there is nothing in the story to suggest that. He certainly didn't do a damn thing for all those Animals who were enslaved and caged in the Wizard's palace — and we don't see a single other Animal outside of there in Act II, so as far as we know Fiyero has participated over those years in the near-total removal of Animals from Ozian society. In the name of "finding Elphaba". Not fighting for her cause. Just finding HER. For HIMSELF.

It's fine to have a ship you like, obviously — and there is genuinely a lot to like about Fiyeraba, I don't dislike the idea of them as a couple or as friends — but come on guys: please stop those out there idealizing Fiyero as somehow a clear "morally-superior" alternative to Glinda, lol. The dude had power, access, and opportunities, for years, that he could have wielded in any number of really selfless, revolutionary ways. He didn't. And I propose (apparently controversially): he simply didn't want to. And that — at the end of the day — is (much as some would like to deny it) true to his character. He always WANTED to be self-absorbed and shallow, and all his actions are consistent with that. Elphaba saw depth and discontentment in him, yes: but (and I cannot stress this enough) when given the chance, he channeled that in the wrong direction. He didn't confront that and become a better person — for the most part he just displaced and projected it onto Elphaba as an object of obsession, and put on an even thicker pretense than before.

All his actions — regardless of the complexity he has deep down — are those of a man who never gives one fuck about anything or anyone, except (kinda sorta) Elphaba. But even then: at no time does the care he has for her seem to extend to caring about any of her wants or needs outside of sexual validation from him, or how she might feel about his actions, or indeed the impacts of those actions upon her, her cause, or anyone or anything else. I don't think it should be all that controversial to say: he doesn't think through the wider repercussions of anything he does — thoughtlessness is just one of his core character traits. He doesn't think ahead or see meaning in anything outside of what can temporarily excite him, in the moment. I think people place a little too much weight on Elphaba clocking him with regard to his internal pain, and seem to expect (understandably of course) that she is not only right, but moreover that he will grow from that in a positive direction, based on her influence.

But he doesn't. If anything, we get a surprising inverse: he pretty much proves her wrong. Not to say he didn't have hidden depth and all that, like she said: but his hypothetical heart of gold proves not to really amount to much in practice. He doesn't grow out of his shallowness and his self-centeredness: he grows into it in a way that he hadn't quite yet in school. Where once he was only masking an internal listlessness, after he's been cracked open by Elphaba he decides to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow, not just coasting by. He performs in new ways — as a soldier, eventually as a "fiancé", etc. — but by Act II we meet a Fiyero who has staked the last remaining shred of humanity in him on the vain pursuit of the only object of his desire that has ever been unavailable to him, and firmly chosen to say to hell with everyone and everything else.

When put to the test, Fiyero sacrifices Glinda, the Animals, and all else that Elphaba actually cared about, to pursue his own unresolved crush from college. Mostly to get in her pants, really — as harsh as I'm sure that sounds. But let me be frank: that is literally all he ever accomplishes in the show. He gives her dick one time, and one of his castles, and that's it. That's the culmination of his years trying to find her — years in which he actively worked as one of the stormtroopers (or even the one commanding them) committing untold crimes against Animalkind (who, again, it seems have been all but erased from Oz by Act II): y'know, the very crimes Elphaba sacrificed her life to try and stop????? He spent the most important time of his life — of his own free will — being a fascist soldier, but he "did it for her" somehow, so according to some, it's perfectly fine. Heroic, even. Yikes??

But let's make something very clear (since my original version of this post caught a lot of flak, including slurs and other rudeness):

I like Fiyero. I find his role extremely interesting (I could do a whole dissertation on him, but I'm especially a fan of the way his proving Elphaba's assessment of him wrong presents a fascinating parallel and contrast with Glinda, which I think is lost on a lot of people). But PLEASE stop with all the misguided Glinda slander and idealization of Fiyero. By all means, thirst! But don't give me all this bullshit about him deserving Elphaba more, or being super deep, or being really principled or noble or whatever else. He does have layers, and quite intriguing ones, but his insides are straw — he isn't meant to have some deep, overwrought emotional core or motivations; he has passions that he acts upon when given the chance. That's it. And that's fine. Actually kind of refreshing in a story rooted in simple children's fantasy but rife with intensely complicated personalities. Fiyero makes it his mission to represent denial of depth and embrace of raw, spontaneous desire — and I for one love that, and wish others appreciated it.

And in all seriousness, shipping wars aside: by the end of the story, it's Glinda who is ultimately vindicated, and has — for all her faults — made the necessary choices to fulfill Elphaba's wishes, bring down the regime, etc. And all that despite herself. She's miserable: not just because of the mistakes she made, but because of her correct moves as well. Fiyero is simply not — and could never be — that person. And that's okay! Like I said: I am not anti-Fiyero. Fiyero's willingness to throw it all away for the sake of sheer, overriding passion is a huge part of what people like about him, of course — and it's an obvious factor in the attraction between him and Elphaba, because she has her own flavor of that impulse as well — but I'd actually argue that it's not romantic, it's his fatal flaw. And thematically that's fantastic! But I just don't believe that it somehow means he "deserves Elphaba more" because he "gave up his life for her" or whatever. In part because NOBODY truly "deserves" Elphie tbh, not 100% (and I question anybody who claims otherwise), but ultimately because I don't accept the idea that his fleeting acts of passion make up for all the shit leading up to them (or even proceeding after them tbh). At least Glinda managed to do what Elphaba always wanted in the end — but I would die on this hill even if Gelphie didn't exist.

You don't have to agree with my analysis of Fiyero and his choices, relationships, etc. — that's fine. What isn't fine is trying to portray Glinda as some kind of spineless traitor whore for the Wizard and Fiyero as a conscientious hero who earned Elphie through self-sacrifice. That's just not the story that was written. It's WAY messier and more interesting than that.

[loveafterdeath-if]

Update (more like me rambling than an actual update, tbh)

Hope y'all are doing alright! I saw my inbox filled with asks and kind words (y'all are the best, as always), and I'll start answering everything once I wrap up Chap 2, Part 2. I want to focus fully on writing so I can get you the whole chapter before March at least, haha.

I'm gonna start correcting what I've written so far to avoid ending up with 100k words to fix all at once. We're about 50% through Chap 2, Part 2 (38k words, but it'll probably hit 40k with corrections). There are branches that have messed with my brain because I wanted to include scenes for each RO, but I don't regret it. I love games with lots of replayability (is that how we say it?), so I want mine to offer that too.

Chap 2, Part 2 will have a ton of branches for each RO, plus the option if you're not pursuing anyone, so it might take a while to get that full chapter out. I honestly don't know how other authors keep track of so many branches! I've always respected them as a reader/player, but being the one writing makes me wanna hand my future kids over to those incredible authors…

On top of that, I'm dealing with another issue. I've been writing so much that I think I'm slowly slipping into that "They gaze at her and say," "They take the paper and it falls" vibe (is that even a thing? Idk). You know, the kind of writing with no real description. I find myself double-checking everything to make sure the descriptions are 'good,' and I think I'll just play some IFs when I got time, to help me regain my groove without turning phrases all weird (I hate reading books, that's why I'm gonna play IFs). This is making me slow down a bit.

I've been pushing myself to write at least 4-5k words each day for the past 3 (4?) months, and I think I shouldn’t have done that. I'm putting pressure on myself without even realizing it. It's only when I end up with 'only' 3k words that I start feeling upset and push through to hit minimum 4k. I'm feeling good for now and don't mind writing that much, but I really don't want to wake up one day and boom—burnout. A Ko-fi member and some folks in my inbox have kindly reminded me to take breaks and take my time, so I think I'll slow down a bit. Like, maybe aim for 3k words?

I've been writing for years, (started on Wattpad in French, and yeah, it was… something) so no worries about the game going on hiatus or anything. I love writing, especially interactive stuff—so basically IFs, haha. Just wanted to keep you in the loop!

Anyway, this ended up way longer than I intended. Stay safe, don't forget to eat your greens, stay hydrated, and all that! <3

[valtharr]

In the last few days, I've now had two run-ins with people on this site regarding the idea of a TTRPG's mechanics and rules impacting the roleplay aspect of said game. And from what I can tell, these people - and people like them - have the whole concept backwards.

I think people who only ever played D&D and games like it, people who never played a Powered by the Apocalypse or Forged in the Dark system, or any other system with narratively-minded mechanics, are under one false impression:

Mechanics exist to restrict.

Seeing how these people argue, what exactly they say, how they reason why "mechanics shouldn't get in the way of roleplaying," that seems to be their core idea: Rules and mechanics are necessary evils that exist solely to "balance" the game by restricting the things both players and GMs can do. The only reasons why someone would want to use mechanics in their RPG is to keep it from devolving into

"I shot you, you're dead!" "No, I'm wearing bulletproof armor!" "I didn't shoot bullets, I shot a laser!" "Well, the armor's also laserproof!" "Nuh-uh, my lasers are so hot that they melt any armor!" "My armor's a material that can't melt!" And so on. Because we have rules, the players can't just say "we beat this challenge", and neither can the GM say "you haven't beaten this challenge." Because the rules are clear, the rules are obvious, the rules tell you what you can and can't do, and that's it.

So obviously, when the idea of mechanics directly interacting with the roleplay - generally seen as the most free and creative part of a TTRPG - seems at best counterintuitive, at worst absolutely wrong. Hearing this idea, people might be inclined to think of a player saying "I'm gonna do X", just for the evil, restrictive mechanics to come in and say "no, you can't just do X! you first have to roll a Do X check! But you also did Y earlier, so you have to roll the Did Y Penalty Die, and if that one comes up higher than your Do X die, you have to look at this table and roll for your Doing X If You Previously Did Y Penalty! But, if you roll double on that roll..."

But like... that's not how it works. Roleplay-oriented mechanics don't exist to restrict people from roleplaying, they're there to encourage people to roleplay!

Let's go with a really good example for this: The flashback mechanic from Blades in the Dark (and games based on Blades in the Dark).

In BitD, you can declare a flashback to an earlier point in time. Could be five minutes ago, could be fifty years ago, doesn't matter. You declare a flashback, you describe the scene, you take some stress (the equivalent of damage) and now you have some kind of edge in the present, justified by what happened in the flashback. For example, in the Steeplechase campaign of the Adventure Zone podcast, there was a scene where the PCs confronted a character who ended up making a scandalous confession. One of the players declared a flashback, establishing that, just before they walked in, his character had pressed the record button on a portable recording device hidden in his inner coat pocket. Boom, now they have a recording of the confession.

How many times have you done something like this in a D&D game? How many times did your DM let you do this? I think for most players, that number is pretty low. And for two reasons:

The first, admittedly, has to do with restrictions. If you could just declare that your character actually stole the key to the door you're in front of in an off-screen moment earlier, that would be pretty bonkers. Insanely powerful. But, because BitD has specific mechanics built around flashbacks, there are restrictions to it, so it's a viable option without being overpowered.

But secondly, I think the far more prevalent reason as to why players in games without bespoke flashback mechanics don't utilize flashbacks is because they simply don't even think of them as an option. And that's another thing mechanics can do: Tell players what they (or their characters) can do!

Like, it's generally accepted that the players only control what their characters do, and the GM has power over everything else. That's a base assumption, so most players would never think of establishing facts about the larger world, the NPCs, etc. But there are games that have explicit mechanics for that!

Let's take Fabula Ultima as another example: In that game, you can get "Fabula Points" through certain means. They can then spend those points to do a variety of things. What's literally the first thing on the list of things Fabula Points let you do? "Alter the Story - Alter an existing element or add a new element." I've heard people use this to decide that one of the enemies their group was just about to fight was actually their character's relative, which allowed them to resolve the situation peacefully. I again ask: In your average D&D session, how likely is it that a player would just say "that guy is my cousin"? And if they did, how likely is it that the GM accepts that? But thanks to the Fabula Point mechanic making this an explicit option, thanks to rules explicitly saying "players are allowed to do this", it opens up so many possibilities for story developments that simply would not happen if the GM was the only one allowed to do these things.

And it's only possible because the mechanics say it is. Just how your wizard casting fireball is only possible because the mechanics say it is.

[unintentionaloracle]

The Honorary In-Law (Part One) [Fic]

Hoo boy this took a while (so long I said "screw it" to trying to make it plausible to the current timeline of events in actual kayfabe) but now my baby is done! And boy do I need it between The Jhea Drought and whatever is happening with Zowens. (Trips why are you hurting me specifically?)

Summary: Rhea and Jey have been keeping it casual for a while. But when Jey tries to arrange a meeting with her and Sami, can Rhea handle the pressure to not screw up her new romance? And will Kevin throw a wrench in them taking their next step?

(Also I do have Liv and Dom in here and mentions of Rhea having had relationships with both of them, but I'm not tagging those so far because it's only for like, a scene and it seems rude to tag past relationships that are only mentioned in passing. IDK I can tag those if you need me to I'm so tired, y'all.)

Part One: Double Your Trouble, Double Your Fun

 Rhea chuckled mischievously, planting one last kiss on Jey's lips. She glanced down at her handiwork: his mouth coated with her black lipstick. Her own probably looked like a mess, but it was worth it. She shifted her position on the couch from pinning and straddling the Intercontinental Champion to one that allowed her to curl up on him–head on his chest–almost like a contented cat.

 She could practically feel Jey grinning ear to ear as he held her. “I know I say this every time we make out, but...damn, Rhea...”

 Rhea grinned, rubbing his chest. “Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet...” She purred.

 “...Baby, this stuff is gonna wash off easily, right?” He asked, trying to check for himself.

 Rhea laughed. “No, you'll be walking around with that for a while. I got the good stuff,” she joked. “I gotta mark my territory, after all...”

 “I mean...I could've just written “Mami” on my sunglasses...”

 “Yeah,” she looked up at him with a smirk, “but then I wouldn't have had to kiss you.”

 “...Okay, nevermind...”

 A content warmth spread through Rhea. “Although, to be fair, I've got a million excuses to kiss you...” She said, wiggling her eyebrows.

 Jey laughed. He shifted them both around so Rhea was on the couch and he was on top. “Oh really? Do you need one?”

 Rhea smirked. She cupped his face as she pressed a spellbound Jey’s forehead to hers. “Nope. Especially not if you ask me nicely...”

 “Well then...Miss Rhea Ripley, may I please kiss you?” Jey said in a low, flirty tone as leaned in for another kiss.

It was then that Priest walked into his and Rhea's hotel room. “...Really? On the only couch?” He said as they turned to see him. Then he glanced at a flustered Jey. “That’s not your shade, man.”

 “Oh, come on, Damian. We aren't even screwing yet.” Rhea replied, making Jey choke on air. “And True Abyss is absolutely his shade!”

 Damian scoffed, trying to hide a smirk as he shook his head. “Just give me some heads up next time you have your new boytoy over, okay?” He said, heading to the bathroom.

 “Oh, fine.” She turned her attention back to Jey. “I swear, sometimes he's like a brother in an annoying way. Where were we?”

 “Actually,” Jey said, putting a finger to her lips...before he appeared to remember Rhea was an absolute menace of a flirt. He removed it before she could even open her mouth to do anything with that finger. “That reminds me: there's something I wanna ask you...”

 Concern rose through her body. “What?”

 “It’s nothing bad, I was just thinking...I kinda wanna introduce you to Sami...”

 Rhea somewhat relaxed, concern replaced with confusion. “...I've met Sami, Jey...”

 “I meant re-introduce him. You know, somewhere where you're not beating him and Kevin up to help The Judgement Day? A do-over.”

 “Why?”

 “Because you're important to me. And Sami's important to me, too.”

 Rhea felt touched, but also compelled to ask: “wouldn't it make more sense to introduce me to your family first? Or re-introduce me, I guess?”

 “I mean, Sami’s practically family,” Jey said plainly. “And right now, introducing you to my family is out of the question...”

 “Not even Jimmy?”

 “Nah. We're still trying to fix things between us...”

 “Roman?”

 “I can't stand to be in the same room as him longer than I have to.”

 “Your dad?”

 “No, no. Definitely not him. Trust me.”

 Rhea sighed. “And obviously Solo and his Bloodline are also out, even if I could take them...”

 “You could, but...” Jey cupped her face, rubbing his thumb against her cheek and smudging her initials she'd written on them. “Rhea, I don't want to make you have to deal with them, too. The Bloodline takes almost every good thing I have from me,” he pressed his forehead to hers. “I don't know what I'd do if they somehow took you, too. Plus, with all the crap you've been dealing with? I’d hate to get you tangled in my family ish because of me, baby. Know what I mean?”

 Rhea blinked. She didn't think she'd be touched by such a sentiment, but here she was, thinking of all the times she had to fight the men of The Judgement Day’s battles (especially Dom’s). And now Jey was here, not asking such a thing. He never would. It'd almost make her cry, if she didn't want to spoil the mood. Especially at this phase of their relationship: the “we aren't putting labels on it yet” phase.

 So instead, she wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer, cupping his face back. “Yeet,” she purred.

 Damian left the bathroom, but this time the lovers barely registered his presence as they lovingly stared at each other in the far more suggestive pose. “WEPA! Jey, I'm taking your hotel room key and I'm crashing in there!”

 “Uh, that might not be a good idea, Uce. Kevin's crashing with us right now, and he and Sami have been really–”

 Damian swore, mumbling something under his breath about “how can Sami still be with that guy?” before declaring “Guess I'm heading out.”

 Jey gave a thumbs up before Rhea dragged him back down for a quick kiss. “Is that a yes?” He asked.

 “Yes...” She said, tangling herself around him.

---

 The next night on Raw, Rhea prepped for her match backstage. Liv wanted to make sure Rhea couldn't get her next shot at her and the title so easily. So she had arranged for there to be a Battle Royal to determine her next Number One Contender. Idiot. I’ve won a Royal Rumble from the Number One spot. A Battle Royal is nothing. Rhea thought.

 Still, Rhea knew she didn't exactly have friends in the women's locker room. She'd done some terrible things to a lot of the girls over the past two years. Stuff she hadn’t exactly apologized for. So, naturally, it was awkward between her and everyone else in the locker room. So much so that, when she went to get her gear, she just got changed in the bathroom and hung out everywhere but the locker room, instead.

 (She knew it was bad when Damage Ctrl shot her dirty looks.)

 As she made her way to gorilla position backstage, she had a brief run-in with Raquel. Rhea opted to ignore her and the impulse to forget everything she was aiming for to get some sweet revenge. She had a match to win, she just couldn't get distracted by any annoying–

 “Daddy Dom, it's gonna suck having to be away from your handsome face two matches in a row,” Liv said, pouting before Dom rubbed his nose to hers.

 “Son of a bitch,” Rhea said to herself, rolling her eyes at the display.

 “Yeah, cuz right after you observe the battle royal, I have my Intercontinental Championship match against Jey, and he’s got you and the guys banned from ringside. It's not fair...” Dom whined.

 Rhea couldn't help but gag. “That you have to fight your own battles like a man for once?” She said, aloud.

 The couple finally noticed she was in the room. Liv rolled her eyes. “Don't listen to him, Daddy Dom. You're plenty man for me. She's just jealous she has to settle for Jey, now.”

 “Oh honey, I am not settling with Jey. I'm more than satisfied...” Rhea replied, shooting Dom a look that made him avert his eyes.

 “Yeah, well... you're still probably gonna screw up with him! Just like you did with me!” Dom fired back, throwing his arm around Liv.

 “And me.” Liv added, cattily.

 Rhea felt a slight pang, but she couldn't let either of them notice. Or dwell on it. She put on her best smug smirk. “Uh huh...so tell me: do you enjoy making out because you're so into each other? Or is it because you both can still taste me?”

 Liv nearly lunged at her as Dom yelled, holding his girlfriend back. Rhea braced herself, motioning for them to bring it. She cackled as Liv flailed in Dom's arms and Dom struggled with her. That's when Rhea felt a hand ease around her waist.

 “Is there a problem, here?” Jey said, lowering his sunglasses. Rhea glanced at him, he was wearing black and purple on his gear, along with his signature blue and pink, and a pair of “Mami” sunglasses. She grinned a little at him before going back to glaring at her exes.

 “No...” Dom said (earning a groan from Triple H as he motioned for the cameraman to leave). “Just control Rhea...” He said, finally (and ungracefully) putting Liv down.

 “Yeah, control her!” Liv said, straightening her hair and outfit as she glared at Jey.

 “Y'all know nobody can control her,” Jey said fondly, squeezing her closer as Rhea threw an arm around him. He looked at Dom. “We'll finish this later,” Liv's music hit. “I think that's your cue to go...”

 Liv rolled her eyes. “C’mon, Daddy Dom! Walk me to the announce desk?” She said with a pout before they headed for the curtain. “And by the way, Rhea? The gear’s a bit much...” She added before leaving in a huff with her boyfriend.

 “YOU’RE ONE TO TALK IN THAT MINISKIRT WITH “PROPERTY OF DOM” ON THE ASS!” Rhea yelled back.

 Jey gave them a stern yeet goodbye before he finally seemed to notice Rhea’s outfit: white, blue and pink gear with a “YEET” collar. She even had sunglasses that had “R+J” written on them (her makeup had the same written on her cheek). He grinned. “Well, I like it.”

 “Yeah, they aren't really my colors, but I love them on you...” She said, grinning back. “Oh, did you talk to Sami about tomorrow morning? Doing breakfast or brunch or whatever together?”

 “Yeah. I actually came to talk to you about that...”

---

 Jey gave a gentle knock to door of his and Sami’s hotel room. Sami sent him a quick text telling him to wait a moment, followed quickly by the all clear to come in.

 Jey entered the room to find Sami, half-dressed and still sitting in bed. “Mornin’, uce!” Jey said brightly.

 Sami tried to motion for him to be quiet.

 Kevin, who was lying beside him with his arms wrapped around Sami's waist, stirred. The Prizefighter had been crashing with Sami and Jey since his fights with his friends and subsequent suspension. (“I'm all he has left, Jey,” Sami had pleaded. “He needs somebody in his corner right now.”) He seemed to be chill with Jey, therefore Jey was chill with him. Besides, he knew there was no talking Sami out of helping someone, especially Kevin. 

 Kevin said something sleepily in French, eyes still shut.

 Sami rubbed Kevin's back and said something sweetly in French. Jey guessed it was something like “It's just Jey, my love.”

 Kevin nodded, squeezing Sami tighter. He said something else in French.

 Sami replied in French.

 Kevin repeated what he said in French as a question.

 Sami huffed and repeated himself, apparently correcting what he'd said before. Kevin chuckled and settled back down.

  “Merci, beau,” Kevin said, smiling contently as he cocooned himself in blankets. He actually looked relaxed...and happy. More than Jey had seen him in weeks...or ever. It honestly kinda scared him a bit. Jey knew how to handle an angry, rampaging Kevin. But a blissful one? A blissful one felt like a trap.

 But Sami's the happiest I've seen him in weeks, all things considered, Jey thought. So I can live with that...

 “Someone looks like he had a good night with his girlfriend,” Sami teased, his voice a whisper.

 Jey covered the hickey on his neck and tried to wipe the lipstick smudges from his mouth again, flustered. “Ah, c'mon, man. We haven't made it official yet.” He said. “We're taking our time...”

 Still... Jey thought. He was more than willing to give Rhea the time she needed, but sometimes he kinda worried that maybe she wasn't as serious about him as he was about her.

 “I know...” Sami replied. “But seriously, you seem happy.”

 “I am! I did have a good time...” Jey said, rubbing the back of his neck. “And I asked her about meeting up with you...”

 “And?”

 “She's down for it! She thought maybe we could get breakfast on Tuesday. Or brunch. She just kinda thought it might not be as awkward as a dinner after work or something,” Jey said.

 “Oh! Okay, yeah. I think I could work with that...” Sami said.

 Kevin stirred again. “You're going to breakfast with Jey?” He said, now more awake.

 “And Rhea,” Sami said. He explained the plan to “re-introduce” the two to Kevin. Kevin stared at him groggily the whole time, his eyebrow raised.

 “Can I tag along?” Kevin asked.

 Sami blinked. “You want to “re-meet” Rhea?”

 Kevin nodded. “We're a package deal, aren't we? Plus, what if this is all a ploy and she turns on you guys? You need some protection. What're they gonna do? Suspend me more?”

 It's called firing, Uce. Jey thought. He had other concerns, too. Kevin was so unpredictable, lately. Did he really want to bring that around his girl? Especially when he didn't want her around his mess of a family?

 “I mean, if she's cool with it, I'm cool with it,” Sami said. “It'll almost be like a double date...”

 “See!? A package deal!”

 Jey chuckled awkwardly. “I can run it by her...”

---

 “So...” Jey said, one hand on his hip. He scratched at his goatee with the other. “How are you feeling about that?”

 Rhea folded her arms, thinking. The idea of Kevin hanging around didn't exactly thrill her. Not for his behavior, of course. (She knew she could lay him out if he acted up.) But she was already somewhat anxious about trying to win over Sami, given their history. Throwing his unstable boyfriend in? Who held a hell of a grudge? You might as well ask her to do an MMA fight with a kangaroo, that'd be easier.

 Still, Dom and Liv’s taunts about their failed relationships with her started to echo in her head. I'm not gonna screw this one up! She thought.

 Her music hit. She jumped a little, startling Jey. “Oh, damn it...” She said. “Sure, he can come! I gotta go!” She quickly kissed him. “Bye!” She said, making her way to the curtain.

 “Uh, bye...Good luck, baby! You got this!” Jey called after her.

 Rhea smiled, confidence returning. She shoved the personal drama aside in her head and went into Match Mode. As she did her signature stomp in her entrance, she thought: I do got this. I'm gonna get my title shot, then I'm gonna crush the whole “winning over Sami and Kevin” thing!

---

 Rhea threw some stuff around backstage after the match, screaming. Priest ran up to her, “Hey, take it easy, Rhea! What's up?”

 She stopped her rampage, breathing heavily. “Did you not see that match!?” Rhea asked. 

 “No, I was talking to Pearce about getting my title back. I take it it went b–?”

 “Raquel and Liv cost me my shot by cheating after I eliminated Raquel because they're bloody cowards!” She shouted. “Now MAXXINE has my title shot!” Rhea let out another yell before burying her face in Damian's torso and hugging him.

 Damian patted her back. “Ouch. I'm sorry, Rhea. But hey, good for Maxxine, at least...”

 “Whose side are you on?” She asked, as if she hadn't enjoyed a hyped-on-victory Maxxine performing an arm drag on Liv when they faced off after and the latter held up her title in the ring, trying to act like she was the baddest to ever do it.

 “Yours. Always. Need me to put the fear of God in them? Maybe put Dom on the shelf?” Damian asked.

 “No, I don't want you suspended...” Rhea said. “Besides, I need to take out Raquel first...” She was gonna get nowhere with Liv's little bodyguard around. She clung to Damian a little tighter.

 Damian chuckled. “Alright...” Damian hugged her back. “Hey, is that all that's wrong?”

 “I'm just stressing about this breakfast thing I'm doing with Jey and Sami. Kevin apparently invited himself along so now I have to deal with that too.”

 “Oof. Need me to come along?” He asked.

 “I'd love you to, but I gotta do this on my own, Priest...” Rhea replied. “I don't want to make this messier...” Or more awkward.

 “Okay, but if you need me, or an excuse to leave, just hit me up and I'll get you out of there, all right?” He said, giving her a kiss on the top of her head and a pat on her back before letting her go.

 “Thanks, Priest. I appreciate it.” Rhea waved goodbye as Damian walked off. She took a deep breath, ready to just take a moment to collect her thoughts...

 Cathy came by, mic and film crew at hand. “Rhea, tough loss tonight. How do you feel—?”

 Rhea let out a scream of frustration and stormed off, in search of a breakable outlet for her rage.

To Be Continued...

[omghallucinations]

Bang Chan Chart Analysis: in the weeds edition

chart patterns, degrees, fixed stars, aspects, final dispositors, basically all kind of deeper cuts.

ah, bang chan: a double libra gemini rising whose other planets are acting up so much i barely even touched on venus and mercury somehow

like he's clearly an air sign in every respect--he loooOOOves to talk, he's curious and interested in a lot of different things, he's never met a secret he doesn't want to immediately tell five hundred thousand people on live... but damn some of those other planets (saturn, mars, jupiter, uranus) are loud.

right away i noticed his chart is a bucket chart--every planet is in one half of the circle, except for one planet who becomes the "handle": his aries saturn. saturn is hammering all the other planets on the head so to speak.

saturn: you'll have to come through me motherfuckers

saturn is screaming it's ME i'm the BIG BOSS and as the handle, a lot of things in chan's life are gonna be based on or deal with--for better or worse--saturn stuff (maturation, fear, control, authority, judgment). chan's saturn automatically rockets to the top of his Big Boss list (it will not stay here tho, we've got some other bosses coming).

saturn is in its fall in aries--it doesn't speak the language there. any planet in its fall is usually marked down in influence but i also think it makes the planet more important? chan has to struggle with it. a saturn at home in capricorn (barring other chart factors) is very natural. 8/9 members of girls generation have saturn in capricorn and wow does that make sense. saturn in capricorn prizes Work and is self-conscious/guilty of its feelings (feelings are not productive), it's alllways anxious it hasn't done enough, it is very scared of disappointing people, it's deeply conscious of societal conditioning.

aries is a weird sign for saturn to be in. saturn has a lot of fear, and aries has a lot of fearlessness. aries is a baby and saturn is all about maturation. aries is about acting without thinking, saturn is about making a list and checking it 5 times then deciding not to do it just in case.

and then. this is fun. saturn goes on the big boss list again because it is unaspected--this doesn't mean there aren't aspects, it means there are no major aspects to other planets. when a planet is unaspected, everyone around you can sure as fuck see the hell out of it, but you can't really. it's center stage but not in the play.

bang chan: i am the cutest, fuzziest lil libra guy :) i just care about my work which is normal :) and i express that care in a very reasonable and chill way :) i just want things to be good! :) everyone around him, shaking in fear from his scathing judgment and innate leadership aura: uh-huh

an unaspected planet is usually a generational thing--chan really popped up like hey girl :) i'm here to really personify our family problems of work, judgement, fear and maturation and just like. make 'em huge and unavoidable. haha. :)

chan's gonna show real extremes of behavior around his saturn, which

in aries seems like it's dealing with issues of creation, self-determination, doing it on my own, that kind of stuff (so he'll deny himself or assert himself too much in turns)

in the 11th house backs that up--the 11th is the aquarius house, so saturn is in aries (a "me" sign) in a "we" (in a sort of detached intellectual sense) house

11th/aquarius usually wants to set u free :) but in a kind of back-handed passy aggy harry styles way, like "i love you so i'll set you free, because i am such an open-minded person, unlike other people (who are tethered to humanity which is both embarrassing and scary to me yuck), also setting you free is less terrifying to me than being perceived :) go with god :) bye :)"

it's in the sun decan, so there's a flavor of "look at me look at me" and identity formation (am i what i produce?)

saturn's most exact aspect is sesquisquare mars which acts a lot like a square, my favorite aspect! squares get such a bad rap but i think they're so much better for your life in the long run bc they force you to deal with things. his mars is in sagittarius, so we have a double fire sign situation: explosive, passionate, loves attention and creation. mars, who also gets a bad rap, is our survival planet. it's like, how are you gonna survive this. how are you gonna get what you want and defend yourself and win (if you care about winning) (chan cares about winning).

sagittarius mars is gonna go forward kind of joyfully but also in a "fuck you lmao" way. it's courageous bc it doesn't really think anything could go actually wrong. it's gonna Leave if it's bored (and it's already bored). it's gonna wide-angle zoom on the situation and be like "lol embarrassing... for you" and feel 100% sure it's right All The Time. sesquisquare saturn tries to control this force, adds a bunch of fear and repression and Issues (and often in later life, wisdom), so -> chan's gonna really be afraid of his own anger, of losing control of his temper -> ironically he will be unable to stop bouncing between these two extremes to various degrees. u can't control what u can't accept my dude. -> he's also afraid of not being in power, of not winning -> the me/we extreme will also come into play--especially with his sun and moon in libra (that's their whole Thing) sagittarius says "i'm right for objective, philosophical reasons" and aries says "i'm right because i just am bro i don't have to explain myself to you" mars in the 6th house--that drive to assert himself is gonna really go hard at work and in his daily life. this is a #gymbro placement for sure. his daily routine is Let's Fuckin Go At 150% -> his 11th house (where saturn is), loves the idea of people, community, his ideals, is detached from humanity and it comes into conflict with -> his 6th house, which is very much of the world, very critical, very let's get actual shit done and be of service to people sidebar, mars is exactly conjunct the asteroid quaoar-- creation, making new rules and structures, diverging from how things Have Always Been Done, please hold this thought for his uranus, coming up soon

libra moon at 29 degrees: heard u were desperately trying to maintain equilibrium for emotional security reasons lol

another planet i'm eyeing is his libra moon which is in the anaretic degree, 29. he's very good at this energy but it's gonna test him. with his libra moon he needs contact and dialogue with people to feel secure but it can't get too deep because that's gonna freak him out. he is super comfortable being vulnerable and emotional on the internet because the internet is not real. i mean it's real, but it doesn't feel real. it's the equivalent of over-intellecualising your feelings so you don't actually feel anything (which an air moon always enjoys, as a hobby). just like it's way easier and less scary to be in love with an idea of a person, rather than the actual person! the actual person can really fuck up ur moodboard!

chan needs things to be pretty, equal, even-keeled. libra is such a funny sign because often it gets flattened to this like "cutey pie flirt" stereotype which i would say is almost exclusively libra venus. libra is a cardinal sign--an acting, initiating sign--and can be a lot more controlling than it likes to pretend imo. it's also in his sixth house--he's gonna feel safe when he can be of service to others, when he can get things done, when he can edit shit, basically.

he's also a new moon baby, which gives a moon a fun, aries-y, baby-tries-(food)-for-the-first-time vibe. removes a lot of those libra inhibitions and adds a lot of need to feel special.

chan is so good at making sure he feels safe by trying to keep everything cute and not too deep and staying on the surface or removed from the situation through constant activity and like, pruning everything, trying to perfect everything (therefore not having to actually deal with anything). howmstever, this system is gonna repeatedly implode throughout his life. soz bud. his emotional foundation's gonna get pummeled on and off which sucks because he has an almost manic need

for emotional safety through strategic diplomacy and avoiding confrontation

for emotional safety through constant work and "perfecting" everything

for people to like him everyone needs to like him or he will die

(not the real him, that makes him nervous, the projection of him that he painstakingly curates, that is safer)

it's not especially fun to deal with.

bright side, wisdom in later life!

mercury, ruler of chan's ascendant: pretty much exactly what you'd expect?

as a gemini rising, chan's ruler is his mercury in libra in the 5th but ironically i don't feel like she's as major of a player as some of these other planets. you can see the communication and curiosity focus of his life, and in the 5th house of self-expression, creation. mercury is sextile mars and pluto, a talent for making his voice heard and powerful, trine uranus in the 9th he's confident about and believes in his unique voice/perspective.

like mercury is there and she's important, but she's not like. causing big waves? it's like his life direction, again, important, but i'm more intrigued by...

mars conjunct pluto opposite his ascendant: oh boy!

this is his one big opposition and it's on the gemini-sagittarius axis (my fave, she's just fun and curious, she's not super dramatic or that difficult although she doesn't exactly make it easy to make... decisions... or get anything done?). however if we were worried about getting shit done, mars and pluto are here to scream. mars conjunct pluto is exactly as dramatic as sagittarius-gemini is not.

this is an exact conjunction and it's wild. anything pluto touches blows up in a way. it makes it intense and secretive and adds the planet to its portfolio of unconscious past life soul security demands.

lmao i just realized that red lights is fully this conjunction lmao oh no. i don't know if i can talk about this conjunction normally. it's very... ... nsfw.

sometimes pluto conjunct mars forces mars into the background and makes the person afraid to assert themselves, but i don't think that's exactly the vibe here, although it's similar. it looks to me like chan has a lot of rage and anger in him that, with his libra placements, he probably has a very difficult time acknowledging or facing. he'll easily internalize it and turn it inward and be a real asshole to himself, and also his temper will flare up randomly and he'll go for the kill shot when he meant to communicate like a normal person. he has a lot of strong desires, he also wants power, but he's gonna hide it and run from the reality there. he does have almost inhuman will, courage and drive tho, he can truly endure anything.

(idk i think he should be a little worried about his physical body, so many of his coping mechanisms depend on exercise/endurance and with pluto--transformation, security--in the sixth house i worry his health might force transformation? ur body can't carry all of ur unspoken shit my bud?)

gemini rising wants to seem very fun, very friendly, very cute, but with mars and pluto on his descendant chan is almost hiding or ignoring a huge part of himself--all those darker impulses which aren't going anywhere. my guy loves a taboo and (redacted redacted redacted redacted REDACTEDDDD). whatever, it's good for creativity and in sagittarius he has a good sense of humor about it.

jupiter: uno reverso???

damn chan really got #blessed here, a lot of that chart was really screaming Issues, Internalized Rage, Fear, Depression, etc, but jupiter really bounced up to be like "never mind haha. i mean yeah, true, but also whatever"

first of all jupiter is in its home house, the 9th--chan's on a Journey, he's eat pray loving, he's Listening and Learning--and it's in aquarius, so that belief system and personal philosophy is gonna be very open-minded, very science fiction, very predicting trends, very ahead of society.

jupiter conjunct his MC: this is what pulls jupiter up to the big boss list. anything conjunct your MC is at the top of your chart--people see it. people notice it about you. and goddamn are people just gonna give him stuff. and they always have. no wonder jyp was like This Is My Special Boy, like that is jupiter conjunct MC to a t.

(the public perception of chan is also gonna be a lot... cuter and more exuberant and fun than the actual man. not that he's not those things. just that the jupiter of his personality is really what people are noticing about him from the outside: his personal vision, his expansive side, all that. they are not looking at that prominent saturn as much, even if saturn is a bigger player)

jupiter trine the sun: another one where people are just gonna like you. for one thing they'll notice chan's good intentions and generosity--altho they will also notice his tendency to moralise and be a liiiiittle condescending--but his tendency towards bouncy optimism (at least outwardly) makes people want to follow him aquarius jupiter trine libra sun: two "we" signs in a big way, except aquarius is "we" like "humanity" and libra is "we" like "you and me", but they unite in a tendency to conflate the personal identity with the group identity--with jupiter and the sun at play it's like chan is able to bring people on board with his identity and personal vision (but he often presents an idealised version of himself who does not have needs, somehow) 9th house trine 5th house: basically a repeat of jupiter-sun, since the 5th house is the leo house--chan has a talent for using his personal philosophy/vision in creative works

our final big boss of the night, perhaps the ultimate big boss: aquarius uranus

chan's aquarius uranus is really talking to everybody. it has by far the most aspects of any planet. uranus has its hand in his ascendant and every planet except jupiter and neptune. with modern rulers aquarius is at home in uranus, and i'm coming around a little bit on modern rulership even if i think it tends to be less prominent than traditional. still:

aquarius uranus: original thought, technological progress, your box is dumb i'm not going in there uranus in the 9th house: he's gonna have an offbeat belief system--no chance he buys into korea's societal norms, or anyone's societal norms for that matter. he's not a conformist. trine his gemini ascendant: whooooo boy he is really not a conformist. when he's not in a Mood he's not judgmental at all, even when he's in a mood he has a real benevolent Ah, Humanity Should All Be Free to Pursue Happiness vibe. gemini couldn't give a shit about morals, and uranus and aquarius think morals are bourgeois. he has a talent for his own difference--some uranus people (like most of ateez, my weirdo darlings) have chips on their shoulders about being different, but chan with his easy trine is just happy to be himself. i mean a trine uranus isn't gonna change the world (unlike harder aspects like squares, who would be more driven to do so) but he is gonna set a good example just through his identity.

this is a fun side of chan! i like this!

square moon: mmmm ok about that chip on his shoulder. although it's not really about being different--it's more about he both wants to be stable and emotionally secure and also free and independent and he's soooooooo fucking stubborn (but he doesn't see it that way because he's Right, not stubborn). he's prone to feeling really itchy and stuck and then making big changes out of nowhere. also he's very intuitive but overly sensitive and when he's hurt he's gonna shut down completely and not tell the person what they did wrong. didn't he give someone the silent treatment? jisung? yeah that's uranus square moon energy. he has a lot of fear around his emotions and only lets himself feel in short sharp bursts. he feels hurt and he cuts out the person immediately without warning to protect himself--even if it's completely illogical he will dupe himself into believing it is very logical and correct, actually libra moon square aquarius uranus: yeah this looks like a "keep the peace even if it is unhealthy" v. "radical change out of nowhere the tower ass" argument, he'll bounce between the two extremes again. heyyy gemini rising i didn't even see u there!!

man. really haven't gotten into everything including his sun in libra (in its fall), his nodes (classic idol 5th-11th axis, soooo many of them have this), etc, but i've been working on this for so long!! aughhH!!

ok drumroll please, let's gather up his chart big players!! normally i would rank these, but i keep changing my mind.

aquarius uranus

aquarius jupiter

sagittarius mars-pluto conjunction

aries saturn

libra mercury (2nd to lastish)

libra moon (definitely last on this list)

tentatively i'm gonna put uranus-jupiter tied at 1, then mars-pluto then saturn then mercury. ugh i don't know though. they're all big players! chan in general has one of those spread-out charts--when you look at the ruler of each planet, he has what's called a "committee" tree

where there isn't one or two final bosses, and the planets are all connected in one tree rather than being separate. you can see how chan's 3 top planets are sag mars, aquarius jupiter and aries saturn--they all work together and are super interconnected. he's not as single-minded as someone with a singular dispositor (ateez hongjoong has a singular final dispositor tree with his pisces jupiter) but also not as split or conflicted as someone who has split trees (ateez seonghwa has a planet in rulership tree with separate parts).

anyway this has been really interesting! for someone with what seems at first glance to be a very unified chart (air moon, air sun, air rising) he has some interesting conflicting energies--altho i'm sure he sees himself as just an air person. i'm sure he is lowkey aware of that mars and pluto conjunction but i'd bet he really pretends he does not see it (except for in REDACTED REDACTED EXTREMELY REDACTED situations), and he truly cannot see his saturn at all (altho everyone else can!).

[psychesalcove]

For the 100 event could I request Leo with the prompt: ֶָ֢”I’ve been trying to get ready for like an hour and a half, because i know you're going to look so good and I need to try and match up” :D

✧.* leo valdez x fem reader

my posts are completely race and body type friendly (unless stated in title) so no descriptive words here of someone's skin tone or body shape!! feel free to interact:)

part of psyches, 'in memory of those who chose the sea' event

-> want to participate in the event?

an: thanks for requesting my love!! i love this prompt with leo so so much oh my gods. i also made this a fem reader, so i hope none of you mind. love ya 🩷🫶🏻

you stood infront of the mirror on the wall as you double checked your makeup and hair. leo and you are heading out soon to meet the rest of the seven for dinner at some college restaurant–bar that percy recommended.

well, you would be on your way, if leo wasn't still in the bathroom.

you brushes a light finger over your cheek to level out your blush more before yelling out to leo. 'leo baby! we need to leave soon if we wanna meet them in the parking lot,"

all you got in response: muffleed sound of shuffling and something falling off of the counter in the bathroom. and, leo yelping. you rolled your eyes affectionately at him, pulling out your phone from your purse to quickly text the group chat that you'll be a couple minutes late.

after you made sure the text went though, you walked over to the bathroom and knocked on the door. knowing leo was always okay with you coming in, you opened the door and was met with quite the sight.

skincare products were all over the counter; along with hair gels, brushes, and even some makeup. you opened your mouth and blinked at the sight. leo grinned sheepishly at you. 'hi amor. i promise that i'll clean up the mess,' he said, eyes flickering over to the counter.

'hon, what are you doing?' you laughed, stepping more into the room. your eyes drifted over to leos hair; which was covered in hair gel. 'leo!' you gasped. 'love, what were you trying to do?' you laughed again, taking account of the amount of gel in his curls.

'amor,' he wined. 'stop making fun of me,' he turned on the sink and cupped his hands to collect water in them.

'i'm not making fun of you, love. just wanna know what you're doing,' you giggled, watching him as he dumped water onto his brown curls and started working the water though the hair. 'so, what are you doing?' you repeated.

'baby, i've been trying to get ready for like an hour n' half because i know you're going to look so good and i need to try and match up,' he explained focus still on working the water through his hair.

your heart midly felt like exploding from the confession. 'hon, you realize that i think you're the most handsome person i've ever seen, why would i need you to match up with me?' you asked as you moved to assist leo with his hair.

leo whined again. 'amor, i love you, but please,' he said, leaning into your touch. 'both of us know you're the more attractive out of us,'

'leo, do you not realize how many girls stare at you in public on a daily basis?' you asked, finally getting the rest of the gel out of his hair.

he tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy. 'nah, they're all looking at you amor,' he said, waving his hand in dismissal to your statement. you shook your head at leo not believing you, knowing every word you said was true; girls were all over him.

you kissed his cheek. 'we'll talk when we get home, we're gonna be late to dinner' you said as you grabbed a towel from a shelve and starting drying his hair in quick motions. once you were done, you kissed his lips with a quick peck before walking out.

you grabbed your purse as leo got the car keys, both of you making your way to the door. 'leo don't forget your flannel, you're gonna get cold if you don't bring it; like last time,' you scolded.

[rekino2114]

Going Christmas shopping with Cassidy amber

Holiday post #6

Pairing:Cassidy amber x gn reader

A/n:Am I doing this just because p:e.g. chapter 1 comes out tomorrow, and I really hope Cassidy doesn't die.....yes, definitely, PLEASE don't die my comunist gamer

You and Cassidy made your way inside the giant shopping mall you were planning to shop in, you two took a moment to take in the Christmas decorations and lighting

"Woooh finally, ok we're here"

She took off her hat and scraped some snow off of it

"I told you you should have worn warmer clothes, you thought only your hat would protect you from the cold?"

"Yeah, it's especially made to protect my head from the cold"

"And the other parts of your body?"

She dismissively waved her hand at you while looking at the other side

"Details,Details, besides, I'm not gonna catch a cold just because of a little bit of snow, I'm not that weak"

"Whatever you say"

"Anyway, now the fun can truly start, where do you wanna go first?"

"Is that even a question?"

"I know, I just wanted to say this together"

"Alright then"

"THE VIDEO GAME SECTION!"

You two fist bumped each other and started to walk hand-in-hand to the game section

"OK so what do you want to get?"

"I'm fine with whatever game you want, though I'd prefer a multi-player one so we can play together"

"You read my mind, though why do we have to limit each other to one game, it's the holiday season so we should get gifts right?"

"Oh yeah, I should probably get you one too"

"Nah, that's not what I meant"

She pulled out a credit card from out of her wallet and gave it to you

"My gift is gonna be to get you a gift, go nuts, take all the games you want"

"Oh no please I can't accept that"

"Come on we've been through this a gazillion times, streamer and tournament money is pretty good, even when you give part of it to charity, so I can not not spoil you, plus you're gonna buy more games with the money which is gonna make me more money with the streams, it's an infinite money glitch!"

"I......guess, don't think I'm not gonna buy games that you like though"

"Dude, I like every game you literally couldn't buy a game I don't like even if you wanted to"

"Eh,that's true"

You went and brought every interesting game you saw while asking Cassidy her opinion on them, she basically told you she liked everything which didn't help your objective to spend as less money as possible but she really didn't care about that

"OK what's next on the list?"

"Christmas decorations!"

"Sounds good"

You went to the check out and decorations and brought some that you thought would look good in your house, you then spotted a Christmas hat and held it out to your girlfriend

"you wanna wear this?"

"No, I've already got my hat and I'm not taking it off"

"Who said you had to take it off?"

You then put the Santa hat on top of her own hat, she looked at it and then gasped

"That's an amazing idea babe, it'a double hat! This has gotta double my stats and I'm gonna be in the Christmas spirit"

You giggled at her as you two hugged for a moment

"OK so now what's next?"

"Let's see, we brought games, decorations, sweaters, and cookies, I think we're done"

"OK, let's go then"

You two went to pay and it turned out that the cashier was a "comrade" of Cassidy's so he gave you a discount in exchange for a selfie.

"Wait let me hold the bags"

"Hm? Why?"

"I wanna do something since you paid and also your hands look like they're about to freeze, put them in your pockets"

"I think I have a better idea"

She gave you one of the bags as the held the other ones in her hand, she then reached her now empty hand to yours, wrapping it around your arm and pulling you closer to her

"Don't you know teamwork is the basis of every duo? Both for co-op gaming and for the power couple we are, plus now we have warm hands! Both of us! Isn't that just great?"

You laughed together and got even closer, warming each other up

"Yeah it is, so what do you wanna do for Christmas?"

"Oh, I wanted to do a special stream. It's gonna be like 12 hours long, and we're gonna be playing games and raising money. It's gonna be so epic"

"That does sound epic"

"And don't think you can skip it, we're gonna be playing together ok?"

"Don't worry, I wouldn't miss streaming with you for anything in the world"

[unsuitablepet]

What Can Canada Do About It?

Alright ya hosers, buckle up. I am not usually one to make huge text posts but this is going to be long and goddam irate. There will, however, be things in this that will be actionable, so if you're a fellow Canuck, give ‘er a read, and feel free to share, reblog, print it off and staple it to a moose—whatever gets the word out. And to just to make sure our ol' neighbours can't look in on us too easily, I'm gonna lace this thing with enough Canadianisms to make your toque spin.

To any of our neighbours who are up for the challenge of deciphering this maple-syrup-coded manifesto: keep in mind that we don't have anything against regular Americans. The guy who's threatening our country and screwing us over is the same guy who's threatening and screwing yours. Fuckin' buddy's downstairs thinking we wouldn't say boo to a goose, and we're just tryin' to remind him who exactly those gooses are named after, eh? I hope at least some of you will get that.

OK, beauts. Let's get into it.

I've got mes yeux dans la graisse de bines seeing Canadians act like we don't have a good hand in this absolute gong-show of a trade war. Of course we do. We’ve got a lot of leverage, and we can get 'er done. And it starts with the ol’ classic: buying Canadian. But we know that one already and that’s just the warm-up. There are also other things our government can leverage that would be deeply felt - to the point of makin' sure their economy falls arse over kettle along with us.

We are the US's largest trading partner. Last year we exported roughly $450b fuckin' piasse (CAD) to the US in electricity alone. That’s an awful lot of hydro, folks. So, let’s say we just... cut that off. Flip the breaker. Not forever, but just long enough for them to know we're serious. And when we bring it back? Buddies, we do it at an absolute piss-show of a mark-up.

Canada supplies over half of U.S. crude oil imports—4.3 million barrels per day. That's a couple-three too many to just replace overnight. That means if we turn off the taps, they can kiss those gas prices goodbye, ‘cause they’d be skyrocketing to $5–$7 per gallon, roundabaouts. And higher energy costs would increase inflation, worsening the cost-of-living crisis faster than a deer on the 1A.

Canada also supplies about 10% of total U.S. natural gas consumption. Minnesota, Michigan, Illinois, and the Northeast rely heavily on Canadian gas, especially in the winter to keep the wind from cutting 'em in half. A sudden loss would lead to shortages and insane heating costs, particularly when it's colder than a witches' tit in a brass bra out and a bunny hug alone won't save ya... which is now, conveniently! Factories would also see costs rise by a significant percentage (though not as much as regular folks would because America).

That said, Industries that rely on fuel from the Great White North are still going to start seeing prices that cost more than a Leafs ticket in the playoffs, with oil refineries, agriculture, and manufacturing industries bein' especially kicked in the mitts.

Trump's all full of piss and vinegar, swearin' up and down that the U.S. can produce all its own energy. Okay, bud. Giv'r. In the meantime, we could be slick as a smelts and sell some of that oil to Mexico instead (we already do a bit but there's room to almost double how much), which would have the added bonus of helping them dodge some of these tariffs that are about as useful as tits on a bull while we’re at it. Sure, it’s a little spicy CUSMA-wise, but you know what else is a bit spicy for CUSMA? Trump’s goddamn tariffs. So in for a loonie, in for a toonie, my friends. Let him challenge it - that would trigger NATO oversight and I'm pretty sure that dog won't hunt.

The great thing about this is, should Fürher von Cheeto realize he fucked up but not want to admit it, his only other play would be to increase imports from OPEC. Last I checked, OPEC was made up of countries who's hackles he's already gotten up by supporting Israel (Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, the UAE), as well as countries who he referred to as "shit hole countries" and/or accused of just being criminals and rapists (Venezuela, Libya, Algeria, Nigeria, Gabon, Equatorial Guinea, and Congo). I'm sure the screeching in would go super well.

Cutting off our energy would knock down the U.S. GDP by almost 1%, and could raise inflation by up to 2% very quickly. This is just the energy sector and we're already havin' a time, folks!

Now, let's talk about critical minerals!

We are sitting on a goddam goldmine. Or, well, a lithium, nickel, cobalt, graphite, copper, rare earth elements (REEs) and uranium mine—but you get the idea. If we cut off mineral exports to the U.S., this whole hootenanny would turn into a real tire fire real quick. Canada is the lead dog in the sled when it comes to supplying most of these materials to the U.S., and they're essential for defense, technology, and green energy (though we know the leafs will make the playoffs before he ever gives a hoot about that last one).

Let's see what that would look like: right off the hop, the EV, and Battery Industries would be totally hooped. Canada supplies 88% of U.S. nickel imports, which is a necessary material in EV batteries. We're also a top supplier of cobalt and lithium, and we're almost 100% of the US' graphite supply, all of which are essential for Tesla, Ford, GM, and others to make their cars. And the icing on your timbit? All of Elon Musk's companies right now rely almost exclusively on us hosers for cobalt. Without this, EV production could plummet, resulting in thousands of jobs lost, increased prices, and tardy adoption timelines. It would also cause Musk's stock and net worth to drop faster than a puck onto fresh ice, just sayin'.

(Note: he'd still be stupid rich because the world is a terrible place, but he'd be slightly less stupid rich)

Sort of on that note, say goodbye to American-made smartphones, laptops, and semiconductors. Most of the materials the tech industry needs for that come from us. That supply chain will be colder than a banker's heart when chip production in the U.S. freezes over.

Oh, and this one's my favourite... DEFENSE. Guess who the big cheese is when it comes to supplying uranium, the thing the US needs to keep making nukes, submarines, and reactors? Canada! Not that we should be especially proud of this one. We are also a major supplier of Rare Earth Elements (REEs), that they use for fighter jets, guided missiles, and satellites. This would not only mean delays in the manufacturing of all this military equipment, but would leave the US with no option but to turn to China for the REEs. Both those things are - you guessed it - actual threats to national security. Guess the DoD is about to get redder than a Mountie in a blizzard... maybe in more ways than one.

Being so fucking for real, though: trade war or no trade war, we need to stop providing critical military materials to a nation that is actively threatening not only our sovereignty, but that of our allies. Seriously, what are we doing?

To add more curds to this poutine, this cutoff could lead to the offing of nuclear power plants relying on Canadian uranium. Add that to the fact that we also supply critical minerals for wind turbines, solar panels, and energy storage, and not only is almost the entire green energy sector getting dragged to the back forty, but the energy crisis we talked about earlier would get rougher than a badger's backside, particularly in nuclear-dependent states.

It would take years for the U.S. to find someone else to help 'em fill their boots, which means critical minerals are probably Canada’s biggest geopolitical asset in this. And it's not like we'd be sitting around waiting for America to come crawling back. The EU---Sweden and Germany specifically---are looking to find more reliable ethically sourced minerals. Would they ever be able to bring in the kind of Muskoka money that the US does for us now? No. But it might make the hit more tolerable on our end, while also opening the door for more future cellies with the EU.

And these are just the things we could cut off completely. But why keep all our eggs in the basket of a country led by a man who couldn't empty his boots if the instructions were on the heel? Trade diversification in general is an effective tool to leverage our power here and stabilize our economy on a long-term basis. And when it comes to opportunities for that, the world is our prairie oyster:

We could ramp up our Agricultural trade with the EU. We already have CETA in place and our goods meet and exceed their quality regulation.

We could parter with EU countries on sustainable energy projects (we already have a lot of groundwork done for that, so we could put it into place faster than most Canadian learn to say "je suis un ananas").

Japan’s craving high-quality beef and pork, and our farmers could absolutely dominate that market.

We could virtually flood the global dairy market (or at least the US' share of it). We literally produce more dairy than we consume right now because of a stupid clause in CUSMA (which, again, seems to be going out the window) where we're not allowed to export our excess dairy in order to protect the US dairy industry that would be completely priced out of the game if they had to compete with Canadian prices. So much for free market, eh? Canada’s dairy industry is also just more regulated and stable, meaning it could present itself as a more reliable dairy exporter to regions where the U.S. dominates, like Latin America and Asia.

We could get corn products (and other produce, but especially corn) exclusively from Mexico, a country that actually determines US corn prices because they're a government subsidized industry, and the government deliberately subsidizes to just under Mexican corn prices in order to stay competitive.

We could invest in establishing Agricultural Infrastructure Development projects with Brazil and Argentina, which would streamline their distribution and solve a lot of their supply chain logistics needs, strengthening all our economies and reducing American dependencies on all sides

I don't really love this one, but we could expand our aerospace and defense sector. The U.S. is currently the world’s largest exporter of aircraft and defense technology, but Canada has a really strong aerospace sector too, with Bombardier, CAE, Pratt & Whitney Canada, etc. There are lots of countries (including some neutral/allied countries) wanting to reduce reliance on U.S. military exports due to political reasons, which could open opening opportunities for Canada.

We could - and should, even for just internal reasons - expand our pharmaceutical industry. The U.S. dominates global pharmaceutical exports, but Canada produces many high-quality generic drugs at lower costs, and our public healthcare system, flawed as it may be, ensures strict quality control, making our pharmaceuticals appealing to countries with emerging healthcare systems. Also, a lot of countries would just like to reduce reliance on U.S. pharma giants like Pfizer, Merck, and J&J simply due to costs. If we expand generic drug exports to Latin America, Africa, and Asia, compete with U.S. companies on vaccine and biotech exports, and sell cheaper insulin & prescription drugs to Mexico and Europe, we'd seriously undercut a massive sector in the US. We'd also have more accessible drugs for us, and we could partner with a variety of allied countries on manufacturing and R&D investments that would result in great deals for them and a faster implementation and expansion timeline for us.

We could revisit the CANZUK agreement - ideally not from a colonialist tradionalist lens this time (fucking conservatives) - and establish a proper free trade and free movement agreement between Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and the UK, focused on growing the tourism, services, business, banking, and tech sectors rather than import/export of agricultre and raw materials, which would let us circumvent some of the logisitcal issues initially brought up with establishing long-distance supply chains, while strengthening each country's economy and trading power and encouraging shared cross border investment and economic shares in R&D and manufacturing.

And finally, my favourite but the absolute most longshot option, we could join the EU. It's a very very very long shot (no one should hold their breath), but it's not like those discussions haven't happened. If not fully join, we could angle at becoming an associate member, or expand CETA or establish some other such agreement to allow free movement, industrial development incentives, and further free trade opportunities.

And if we absolutely must trade with the U.S., we can be tighter than bark on a tree and process our goods through third-party countries. By setting up subsidiaries in Latin America, Asia, or the EU, we could reclassify our exports under different tariff rates. Sure, our allies would get a cut, but it might still be less than the tariffs in some cases. Example? Shipping goods through Saint-Pierre and Miquelon (yep, that tiny island just up the line from Newfoundland) technically counts as shipping through France. Would it be feasible for everything? No. But it’d be just feasible enough to piss off the right people and let 'em know that the deerflies are out. Buddy might retaliate with tariffs on the EU, but the US economy would go straight in the fishin' hole if he tariffed himself out of trade deals with ALL of us.

Finally, on that subject, we are not exactly in a canoe without a paddle. We've got friends in NATO and we've got friends in the Commonwealth, one of who's core pillars is to "help grow economies and boost trade." We can find ways to come together so we're all laughin' by the end of it. We can also put pressure on our NATO allies to impose tariffs and sanctions on the US if this carries on down the road a ways, or to turn over some of the US' share of their spending to our industries whenever possible. And we should be after doin' that with Mexico already.

Is this all feasible and would this all work? No, of course not! I'm not an economist or an international trade specialist or any kind of top lobster when it comes to this stuff... In fact, I'm willing to bet there's nuance behind a lot of what I say that would make things worse! I'm just someone who did too much reading while losing sleep and taking notes on all of this. I would encourage you to do your own research as well and not just trust an anonymous stranger from the internet! But once you do and you have a sense of what you think would be a good idea, fuckin' give'r!!! Quit chirpin’ and start workin’, buds.

We are still lucky enough to live in a democracy where our elected officials do - for the most part - respond to their constituents, and are obligated to at minimum receive a compiled briefings on all correspondence that comes in for them. Right now, this is the most I've ever seen Canadians come together, as the vast majority of our representatives recognize this for the threat that it is, and are unwilling to get smoked like a cheap pack of darts. Flawed as our system might be, it is still functioning and it is still our right to participate in it and make our voices heard. So, write your MPs and your MPPs and ask them to expedite the cutoff of electricity and critical minerals to the US.... or whatever demand you land on after looking in to things yourself! While you're at it, write to every provincial premier, and to every cabinet minister, and to all the major party leaders. Hell, write to your mayor, to Industry Groups, to Cross-Border Coalitions... quelqu'un qu'y a du poids dans l’arène!

These are rights we can and SHOULD be exploiting, and more than that it is our duty as citizens who care about our democracy to exert political pressure on our leaders to move in the direction we want them to. But you gotta be in the canoe to paddle the river! Go exercise that right and make some demands. Nicely, but firmly. And repeatedly when it comes to the elected officials. This day and age, you can even schedule and automate the writing, tailoring, and sending of these messages (though be responsible with that). Basically, don't sit down and shut up until we get what we want.

Be a nuisance, but be polite about it. Be fuckin' Canadian... eh?

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @corrodedcoffinfest.

Tonight Isn't The Night

Day #7 - Prompt: Celebrate Good Times, C'mon | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: Language | POV: Eddie | Pairing: Steddie | Tags: Older Steddie, Man Plans and God Laughs, Grand Romantic Gesture

Eddie wants it all to be perfect. This has been a long fucking time coming, and if he fucks it up at the last second, he'll never forgive himself. Jeff and Goodie are playing chauffeur, picking Steve up at the airport under an elaborate ruse.

They're supposed to keep him busy, and then drop him off at the arena to meet up with Eddie, pre-show. Eddie rented an event space, and Gareth is helping him try to get it ready.

Eddie planned all of this. 

But Eddie's nervous. 

Gareth is crawling around the room, stringing lights so it'll be romantic, and Eddie's gonna owe that kid. That kid is forty, and a dad to two, but still. Crawling on the floor sounded like hell on Eddie's worn-out body, so Gareth had gotten down and was doing it without complaint.

They don't have time to complain. Not when Steve will be at the arena in t-minus two hours. And Eddie will need to be there, if he doesn't want Steve to realize something is up. 

Eddie watches Gareth crawl out from under a table, and Eddie wishes he was still that goddamn spry. He used to be. He used to be made of elastic, Uncle Wayne always said so. But those days, and those muscles, are long gone, eaten away by bats over two decades ago.

Eddie's hip is killing him today. As if the Upside Down has decided to rear its ugly head again, just because he's so fucking happy. It's bullshit. 

He doesn't want to take anything that might dim his memory, not today, so he takes three ibuprofen and calls it good. That will have to do. 

The ring is burning a hole in his pocket. He keeps palming it, checking, double-checking, just to make sure it's still there.

It is. 

The small box, hard against his thigh.

He's gonna ask tonight. After the show, when they're alone. He's gonna take him back to this venue, take him up on the roof and while meteors fall from the sky, he's gonna ask Steve to marry him. 

When Jeff opens the door, he's making a face that Eddie doesn't understand, not until he sees Steve.

Steve's in a bad mood, a terrible one, actually, and Eddie cups his hand over the ring box. Tonight isn't the night. Goddammit. When Steve stomps off to the bathroom, Eddie fishes the box out of his jeans pocket, and tucks it into his jacket.

"What are you gonna do now?" Gareth asks, in an alarmed whisper. 

Nothing. He'll do nothing. 

He'll listen to Steve rant and rave. He'll be here, and present, not at all thinking about the thousands of twinkling lights or meteors up above.

It's not the night. 

After the show, Steve's still pissy. The ride back to the hotel is filled with Steve bitching and moaning, and Eddie knows better than to try and offer any suggestions, not while Steve's like this. This is just venting, and if anyone knows about venting, it's Eddie. He's made it an art form over the years.

But right now, it's Steve's turn. 

And Eddie listens.

Steve's mid-rant, when he looks out the window, "Hey. Shooting star."

Then, "Oh. Another."

"There's a meteor shower tonight," Eddie explains. 

"And you didn't make plans to view it?" Steve asks, because he knows Eddie, and this is a thing they've done dozens, maybe hundreds, of times over the past two and half decades. 

"Well, a little, but you're not in the mood for that tonight," Eddie says, trying not to sound disappointed. 

He isn't.

No, he is. He really is. But he understands. Life doesn't always go your way. Some days, you're nearly eaten by bats. Others, your marriage proposal gets scrapped. Eddie's used to be fucked by life, well and good and raw, by now. 

Steve looks over at him, "I'm not in that bad of a mood. We can still look at the sky," Steve offers, and Eddie would like that. He really, really would. But he can't take Steve there. It's too much, too over the top, and he'll immediately suss out what was really on the agenda for the night. Then he'll beat himself up for ruining it. 

So, no. They can't go there.

They end up out in the parking lot of the hotel, sitting in a patch of grass that Eddie's pretty sure other people probably let their dogs piss in. But Steve's leaning against him, and that's always gonna make for a nice night.

It's quiet, and peaceful, neither of them saying a word, until Steve suddenly says, "We should get married."

And Eddie nearly chokes. 

"What, you don't want to?" Steve questions.

"Steve Harrington, I'm gonna kill you, and then I'm gonna marry you. No, I'm gonna marry you, and then I'm gonna kill you. I had a whole night planned. And then, well," Eddie says, waving his arms around Steve's head. "Pissy. So. Postponed."

Steve is just looking at him.

Eddie keeps ranting, mocking, "We should get married."

Steve smiles, and Eddie digs in his jacket pocket, handing over the velvet box, "Here. We're engaged."

Steve throws back his head and laughs, absolutely delighted and it's contagious. Eddie has to laugh, too. He's not mad. He's frustrated. 

He's in love, and not even a little surprised. Nothing ever goes his way. He has the opposite of the Midas touch. 

Except. He gets to love Steve Harrington. 

And that's a pretty big win.

After a beat, Eddie says, "Please don't tell Gareth that this happened in the hotel parking lot. He crawled all over, stringing lights, and I'll never hear the end of it."

Steve laughs, and then kisses him, "I'll never tell."

And he doesn't. There's an elaborate romantic story that's fed to Gareth and the public, but it's not the truth. Not a word.

But that's okay. That just means the real deal is only theirs. 

A secret between them, the stars, and the dog piss-soaked grass. 

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @corrodedcoffinfest and follow along with the fun! 🦇

[jeff-from-marketing]

Hey it's been a hot minute, I'm gonna go off about Helldivers 2 for a bit, because the whole thing fascinates me.

Funnily enough it's not even the actual game itself that truly fascinates me, as great as it is. I do genuinely think that, while not perfect, it's a very solid game that knows what kind of experience it wants to deliver, and does a fantastic job delivering on it. The Starship Troopers-esque satire is hilarious, and I love how much the gameplay reinforces that satire through things like reinforcements canonically being a whole new Helldiver sent into the meat grinder, and that the mission still counts as a celebrated victory even if you never make it back alive. I could even talk about how the objectively clunky system for calling in orbital support is actually a positive for the game, but only this game and the type of experience it's selling.

But none of that is what fascinates me about this game so much. Because y'see, I played the first Helldivers game, and it was also a great bit of fun! It's actually why I was interested in the second one to begin with. But I also know that the first Helldivers was not a very wide reaching game, none of Arrowhead's games have been. They've not done poorly by any means, they're still in business and have been for over a decade now. But they've always been fairly niche affairs. Until now. To really sell the picture, I wanna rattle off player counts for their previous games:

Magicka in 2011, Arrowhead's first big game and published by Paradox, had an all-time max player count of 11,727 players according to SteamDB. I don't believe it was on any other storefronts, but I could be mistaken. A quick wikipedia visit tells me that the game sold roughly a million units over a year which, again, not bad! Especially for a game that is admittedly fairly unusual, but is a lot of fun!

The Showdown Effect in 2013, which I only just found out about right now after double checking my numbers, had a all time high of just 3,284 according to SteamDB, and is now delisted from Steam. Though apparently there's a remake from another company happening? There's a lot less info on this one in general.

Gauntlet in 2014, this one I do know a bit more about since I also played this one. A remake of the original 1985 game, and was a good bit of fun as well! This one is trickier to get an accurate player count reading, because it did have a PS4 release and those are harder to find numbers for. Regardless, it was also on Steam, so therefore I can use those numbers at least, which gives me a max consecutive player count of 12,730. I don't know how much PS4 factored into this.

And now we get to the real interesting one: Helldivers 1. Again, this is tricky because not only was it on console, but it was actually on console before it was ever on PC, which heavily skews numbers. SteamDB has the peak at just 6,744, but this doesn't sit right with me. I've seen estimates of 50k people around the place, some say 35k, but never a solid source. It's also very difficult to search atm because of how much Helldivers 2 is blowing up. Speaking of...

So Helldivers 1 is their most popular game, and I'll be generous and say that the 50k count is the accurate one. So surely Helldivers 2 can't be that much more- oh I'm not even going to pretend, you already know what's going on here. The game has reached ~450k concurrent players just on Steam alone! And the game also exists on PS5, and if I recall correctly: there's official statements saying that the player counts are roughly equal with each other. That means a peak of ~900,000 individual players. To illustrate how bonkers batshit insane that is, motherfucking Fortnite has a current consecutive player count of roughly one million.

Let me reiterate: a game that came out of basically nowhere with little marketing, from a small studio with only about 100 employees, is rivaling the juggernaut that is fucking Fortnite. That is insane.

As someone who has played all of Arrowhead's previous games besides The Showdown Effect, this is bonkers. There's a reason the sentiment was "there's no way to have predicted this" when the servers were at their worst, because look at the previous data! How is anyone supposed to predict a sequel to a niche game (from a company very few people have heard about) to get a ~1800% increase in max player count? Their initial server capacity was 250k, which would've been very optimistic if you were just going by Helldivers 1 numbers. But then that wasn't enough. And then 360k wasn't enough. And then 450k wasn't enough. We're now at 700k server capacity and just finally getting things under control. This game just exploded in a way no one could have reasonably predicted. And I have no idea why this is the case either.

I'm not saying it's not deserved; it absolutely is! Like I said, game is great, and there's not even any shitty business practices I can bitch at this time! It's just so sudden and out of nowhere that it baffles me. Such a small percentage of these players would've even heard of the first game, let alone played it. It didn't have a massive marketing campaign, this is pretty much all spread through word of mouth, which is insane in its own right. It's not even like the game is entering an untapped market, it shares its existence with games like Deep Rock Galactic, Vermintide, Darktide, the actual Starship Troopers game, probably some others I'm forgetting. And yet, despite all of this, it breached containment something fierce. I don't have a big conclusion to make from all this, I'd love to be able to say "oh people are just getting tired of Triple A- oh I'm sorry, Quadruple A gaming and this is a breath of fresh air" and it is that, as was Baldur's Gate 3, but I'm not naive enough to think that's the main reason. Not when so many other great games continue to go undiscovered, and so many people still end up buying whatever the next big Triple A thing is. It's a great game to play with friends, and there's a lot going for it and a lot of charm, but such is also the case for the other games I already listed in this paragraph and they don't see the same popularity.

Whether it's just dumb fucking luck, or a really oddly specific set of circumstances at play that I can't see, I'm just dumbfounded and flabbergasted. But I'm not exactly gonna complain. It's fun getting sent into the meat grinder to spread Managed Democracy, and I'm glad the game is doing as well as it is, though I do hope that the devs get to have a bit of rest once the dust finally settles a little bit.

[ac-19]

Arm Wrestling- D. Luca (S.W.A.T)

summary: after street texts you, you do everything to make it to luca's event at lapd vs lafd competition.

i double checked the address that street had sent me before i walked inside and i smiled at the sea of red and blue t-shirts. i was definitely in the right place. i quickly found street's familiar face in the crowd and made my way over to him.

"hey. did i miss it?"

street looked down at me and smiled.

"hey, no you're right on time. its starting in a minute."

i nodded.

"i can't believe luca didn't tell me about all this."

the crowd started cheering as both luca and the lafd guy walked up to the middle of the room.

"go luca."

i smiled at everyone cheering for the man i loved. i wanted to cheer him on with the rest of the crowd but there was a reason that he hadn't told me about all this so i didn't want to give away the fact that i was here just yet.

the arm wrestling competition started and i smiled as i watched the focus on luca's face and also the way his muscle flexed under his t-shirt. i couldn't help myself.

"he's really good at this."

street nodded.

"luca wins the arm wrestling event every year. i can't believe he never told you about this."

"you and me both."

the crowd erupted in cheers including myself as luca won the competition. luca eyes found their way to mine and i couldn't hold back my smile as i continued to applaud him. luca made his way into the crowd and hugged his friends before he walked over to me and pulled me up into his arms. i wrapped my arms around his neck as my feet left the ground and smiled down at him.

"what are you doing here?"

"street texted. why didn't you tell me?"

"i'll explain later."

i nodded as i dipped my head down and planted my lips on his. he returned the kiss but quickly pulled away as the crowd started chanting his name.

"get up there."

he nodded as he put me down on the ground and i smiled as i watched the man i loved receive a trophy as the people in the crowd chanted his name.

once the crowd settled down and all the bragging was done between the lapd and lafd that's when luca found me again.

"can we talk?"

i nodded as i excused myself from the converation street and i were having and followed luca as we sat down on the now empty chairs.

"listen, i know this is going to sound stupid no matter how i say it, but i didn't tell you about all this because i didn't want you to see me lose."

i nodded.

"from what i heard you've never lost."

"no, but there's a first time for everything. with my wrist injury and..."

i chuckled.

"what?"

"what do you think was gonna happen if you told me about this and i came and you lost?"

"i don't know, maybe you would see me as weak. i mean i'm already older than you and..."

"and no matter what would of happened here today, i still would be so in love with you dominique luca. you loosing an arm wrestling competition wasn't going to change that."

luca nodded and i smiled.

"you don't ever have to doubt my love for you okay?"

he nodded.

"plus all this really works in your favor by the way."

luca furrowed his eyebrows.

"how so?"

"watching you up there. that was hot."

luca grinned.

"should we head home then?"

"yeah i think we should."

[respectthepetty]

Pit Babe Colors Ep. 12 The Black Parade Episode

I'm challenging myself with this show and seeing how good my color skills really are, so I'm doing my normal thing of watching it double-speed on mute, but now, the captions are off also. It's just colors and vibes here. Y'all done told be EVERYTHING, so I know the entire plot now.

THAT WAS A TEAR! KENTA IS CRYING!

I thought it wasn't just sweat last week but knowing he is actually crying as he thinks about their past did immediate damage to me, and now they are ALL standing there in the dark with Way and Pete highlighted by the blue, and, and, and . . . Kentana are you gonna die? You and Waymond are stressing me the fuck out!

Now that I know they are both enigmas, I can't see them the same. Are they using their superpowers on each other right now? Are they reading each other's minds? Are they trying to figure out how to get Kentana back, so they can make this poly?

Kentana, how many times are you going to have this man spit in your face before you realize that he ain't shit? Go to your room, turn on Billie Eilish's "Happier Than Ever" and really hear it. "Never told anyone anything bad cause that shit's embarrassing. You were my everything, and all that you did was make me fucking sad."

The blue keys in front of the red product placement is all I need to be reminded that this show refuses to allow me peace.

Shocking absolutely fucking nobody, Kentana did not listen to "Happier Than Ever"

And now someone is gonna die because there are only so many ways for you and Waymundo to redeem yourselves, and if you have Jeffrey in all black, I'm worried it's gonna be your funeral we will be planning next, Kentana.

There is one episode left and I am death gripping the one time Vegas' Hedgehog wore blue because I will never get it again. I hate them.

Real question: Is Barbie pregnant? I know he is sad Charles is "dead" *eye roll* but he is taking pills, getting fruit thrown at him, and staring out into space. I would love to believe he is going through his Edward-left-Bella-so-she-was-super-duper-sad era, but now that I know pregnancy is on the table, that's all I can see.

Oh, thank goodness! Someone actually has a tracker on his phone! But Kimberly has been kidnapped, caught up in human trafficking, and is now beating up children. Bro, what was your life before it all went to shit? Do you ever call your mom and tell her these are your friends now? Are you even still racing? Nevermind. Go catch those kids.

The problem with black is the shades. Waymond's jacket looks green. Peter's pants look blue. And yet it still feels like we are preparing for a funeral. A real one this time. Not fake like someone else's *cough* Charles *cough*

Kentana, are you betraying Jeffrey as Big Red watches? Or are you asking him how Peter's been? Has he been well, without you? Is he dating anyone? What is his status with Way? Well, Jeffrey wouldn't know, but Peter x Waymond could be poly if you get out of that fucking house and stop kidnapping people!

Going from Kentana in that House of Horrors to Pete looking like this makes me understand why Kentana is out there kidnapping people. I'd feel some type of way too if my childhood crush looked like this and was getting chummy with a dude who looked like Way Way. Damn.

What the hell is this?! The cover of a boy band album? A meeting to discuss poly? The Thai version of Barbie where Ken(tana) explains why he won't leave the Mojo Dojo Casa House? AND WHY ARE ALL OF YOU WEARING BLACK?! Someone is gonna die.

Did Big Red know Kentana went to see Barbie and the other Kens?! Was he sent there by Big Red?! Kentana is really breaking my heart on his knees hugging this man like this. I want to slap Kentana all the time, but I also want to hug him and tuck him into bed with a moon nightlight calmly lighting up the room.

Let's stick him in a video game, so he can learn to love himself.

Push him down the stairs, Kentana! Do it. PLEASE! Shoulder check his ass at least.

Oh Lord, NO! Waymond, do not take a fucking bullet for anyone. You canNOT die by Whiny Winifred's bullet. I refuse to let you go out like that. You finally used your powers for good, but this is not the time to die.

Y'ALL DIDN'T EVEN GRAB THE BAG!

This is Mission Kim Possible all over again! How do you not grab the damn bag?! Waymundo looks so damn good in his suit, so thank God he is still alive, but what the fuck guys?! One job! SECURE. THE. BAG.

I hate how good everyone looks in black because I keep swinging through emotions. I'm terrified for everyone yet very attracted to everyone. All the guys connected to Big Red have been in black this episode regardless if it was their color or not, so I'm hoping that means the funeral will be Big Red's.

A cult meeting, in this economy? Villains make the dumbest decisions.

Waymond has some white on . . . over black. Please Mary, mother of God, do not let him do something stupid.

Alan, did you just say "eff them kids"? No. Not my Alan. He'll be back for them. Right. Right?

Peter is gonna Regina George his way into this Halloween party that he was not invited to just to cause some havoc. Mad respect.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

How the hell did Charles get there?! Did Barbie's dad tell him to go to the cult meeting? Dressed like that though? Did his spidey sense go off? So many questions, but all I know is Kentana better let them go, so he doesn't have to die.

Whiny Winifred better not get better at aiming in the final episode because I still need both of these two to wear blue TOGETHER.

WAYMOND, NO!!!!!!!!!!

Good to know it only took being kidnapped twice and (possibly) someone dying for Jeffrey to finally commit to the blue.

My nerves are wrecked. There was too much black this episode. Someone is going to die, and as much as I want it to be Big Red, I just don't feel good that Kentana is still on his bullshit, and Waymond keeps jumping in front of guns. Peter needs both of his boyfriends to live.

Also, Barbara, I already know you are immediately going to hug Charles next week, instead of having a moment to be pissed all the way off at him like you should be, so I'm going to start meditating on that right now. I've been mad at Charles the entire season, so I'll hold this grudge for both of us in the finale.

[lover-of-mine]

I'm not sure if you have already done this. But you are the data girl. Did Brad and Gerrard actually have more screen time than Tommy?

Dude, I wasn't gonna do this, but then the gc started talking and next thing I know, here I am. I am not making a Gerrard cut, sorry. But Gerrard does have a scene that doesn't involve a main character. It does work to further the main characters, but none was present, so that's something.

That being said I did make a Hotshots cut. Mostly because they seem pretty upset with how much Brad we got and I wanted to check. The final count for my bt cut is 40 minutes 45 seconds in 8 episodes and the hotshots cut is 44 minutes and 51 seconds in 6 episode. So yeah. definitely more Brad. If we want to consider just s8, bt had 18 minutes 5 seconds, Brad got more than double the screen time. Do with that what you will ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also random stats on the bt cut just because: Only 12 minutes 55 seconds are scenes that don't include or mention Eddie and 4 minutes 8 seconds include boils, also only 1 minute 31 seconds of masks don't include Eddie or boils. Peace.

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

Box Of Wishes

Summary: Brain refuses to come up with something decent, let alone translate it, so this is basically everyone’s wish: Threesome with Drilla and Clark.

Pairing: Drilla Moloney x F!Reader x Clark Connors

Warnings: +18, smut, threesome, mixed feelings (because c’mon, it’s a threesome), adult language, explicit sex scenes, anal sex, double penetration, vaginal sex, mutual masturbation, oral sex.

Tags: @theworldofotps , @writtingrose , @daddyhausen , @melissahausen , @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @sultryfandoms , @new-zealand-chic , @crowleysqueenofhell , @thealliasylum , @legit9thlunaticwarrior , @mjfass , @josiewrites , @seeingstarks , @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch , @whenimakeitshine1234 , @moxkindagirl , @sunshinevirus , @im-just-a-mississippi-girl , @ripleyswhore , @brideofinfamy

Your eyes stared at the small wooden box with uncertainty. It sounded like a good plan - under the influence of honeyed whiskey - but now, in your sober state of mind, you weren’t sure anymore.

“Dan, this is stupid. I don’t think we should do this” You sighed, leaning back to rest on the couch. An annoyed grunt escaped your lips once you remembered everything you wrote in there. Why did my drunk ass think it would be a good idea to write down every secret sex fantasy I’ve ever had? You thought to yourself as Dan’s hand came to rest on your thigh.

“C’mon, Munkie. This could be fun” He smiled, “Don’t give up that fast. Let’s see what comes out of it and then we’ll talk about it. What do you say?”

“I think it’s unfair that only my fantasies are in there”

“Well, that’s because you feel embarrassed to tell me what you want, Munks. I want you to feel comfortable enough to say what you’re in the mood for. I don’t like to think that I'm the only one getting satisfied in this relationship”.

“But you’re not, Dan! I like everything we do-”

“Yeah, but we’re only doing what I want to do, and that’s not how this works!” Dan’s lips came to rest upon your cheek, “C’mon, Munkie, let me see what you’ll draw”.

With one last deep breath, your hand sank inside the small box. The several pieces of paper tickled your fingertips, matching the light scraping of Dan’s beard against your jawline. It was a nice distraction that unfortunately didn’t last that long.

“Oh fuck, no. No, no, no, no!” Your eyes widened in shock. Your legs had a mind of their own, quickly dragging you away from Dan and the couch.

“What is it?” He asked with a concerned frown. “Munkie, what’s wrong?”, after only silence answered him back, Dan swiftly caught the piece of paper - that fell upon the ground - in his hand and it took him a few seconds to process what was written.

Threesome w/ Clark was scrambled with pink ink on the white paper. He’d done this before with Clark, but it was usually with one-night stands where feelings were the last thing involved. But this was you, his little munkie. Dan had a lot more to lose if things went wrong, but at the same time, he felt it was unfair to say no. This was your first fantasy, the first time you agreed to share it with him - even if through a piece of paper.

“Mun-mun, come here” Dan pats the seat beside him, “Let’s talk about it, love”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Dan! We’re not gonna do it!”

“Love, it’s-”

“Save it, Moloney! The answer is no!”

Your eyes stared intently at the four cans of Coke you managed to drink in the last 10 minutes. That was the first rule: everyone needed to be sober. Your hands shook, but you were uncertain if it was due to nervousness or the caffeine.

“Do you think I should take another shower?” You asked while trying to sniff your armpit

Dan held back a chuckle as he stood up from the armchair by the window to make his way toward you on the hotel’s bed. “I don’t know, let me check” He spoke as seriously as he could. Dan’s nose followed an invisible line from your upper arm to your neck, where he took a deep breath in before teasing your pulse point with his teeth.

“You smell divine” He whispered in your ear “Kinda makes me want to start without him”.

That was the second rule: everything would start once all three of you were in the same room.

Dan’s lips traveled from your ear to your cheek, and then finally to your lips. His teeth playfully nibble on your bottom lip, tugging and pulling until he captures the flesh with his lips. His arms circled your waist, pulling you closer to his body. Your lower belly pressed against his half-hard cock, and a small huff escaped your lips when he slapped your ass.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to start anything until I got here” Clark spoke from the door, his voice coated with amusement.

Dan’s unsatisfied grunt echoed in the room as he pulled away from your lips “I didn’t start anything! I was just kissing my girlfriend…can I at least do that?”

With a humorous smile, Clark closed the door behind him. “Sure, suit yourself!”. Settling his wallet and phone on top of the bedside table, Clark’s eyes met yours over Dan’s shoulder. The light blue slowly shifted to a darker color the more he watched Dan’s head burying on your neck.

Clark sat on the bed, taking off his snickers and throwing it by the door before pulling himself far back on the bed until his back rested against the headboard. Blue eyes stared intently as Dan pushed you down on the bed. “Forget that he’s here for now” The dark-haired man whispered in your ear when you stiffened once Clark’s hand brushed your hair away from your face.

“Just focus on me, Munkie. Pretend it’s just the two of us, ok?” Dan softly whispered, pulling away from your lips after you nodded in agreement. “Tell me what you want, Munks”, his gruff voice stated, eyes searching for an answer right before you said, “I wanna taste you. I miss having your cock in my mouth”.

“Fuck, love. If we’re gonna go down that road, I won’t last much”.

Dan’s upper body rested against the headboard, much like Clark’s - who still watched you from the side. Your nails softly scratched up and down Dan’s muscular thighs, a soft hiss escaping his lips as you sucked on his tip.

“Oh fuck me, so fucking good” He bites his knuckles in an attempt to gain some self-control back as you kept staring at him with his cock in your mouth. “Fuck, you drive me mad. So fucking mad!” Dan snarled, tugging on your hair as you giggled.

Clark understands the appeal now. You are a beautiful woman, but Clark never really understood why Dan spoke so highly of your sex skills whenever he was insanely drunk. You seemed innocent, a casual lay. Intimate but quite boring if he was honest with himself, Clark often called it “safe sex”, you just go with someone who will offer you good sex, not mind-blowing but ‘ok for a Friday night’ sex. Nothing crazy, just that simple casualty that satisfies you for a while.

You weren’t the typical “hot gym girl”, the ones Clark would go for quite often, but you were…bland? He felt like it wasn’t the best description, it sounded mildly offensive somehow. Maybe because it was you? Clark likes you, you’re his best friend’s woman - a woman he was for some reason dying to fuck right now - but Dan’s girl no matter what. You’re a kind person, truly a sweetheart, you are fun, smart, and looks-wise you are very beautiful, however, there is an innocence that shields your womanly beauty. To Clark you were beautiful, in an “I’ll put her in a tiny jar” kinda way, not in a “I wonder what is like to fuck her” way. So the countless times he spent hearing Dan praise you as a sex goddess incarnated were confusing, “must be the alcohol” Clark thought to himself whenever Dan started his monologues of how his ‘little mouse ruined him for any other woman’. Drunks tend to tell the truth, Clark knows that, but he also knows they tend to exaggerate reality. So he didn’t think much of it, a part of him felt curious as to how much of that was true, a matter that never got fully discussed because sober Dan threatened to punch Clark in the face if he ever dared to speak of you like that.

“But you were the one who told me those things yesterday!” Clark always pinpointed the obvious.

“I was drunk, very needy, incredibly horny, and emotionally vulnerable! It was your job to not pay attention to one single word I had to say! I was just venting” Was Dan’s typical answer.

But now, as Clark stares at you between Dan’s thighs, he finally gets it. You are a devil sent, a vixen able to murder a man with only a look. The giggles that escaped your lips every time Dan slapped your face, the way your ass wiggled in the air with excitement, the eagerness you exude to have Dan’s cock back in your mouth, the way you smile every time he calls you his “good little bitch”, has Clark’s cock painfully hard in his white boxer briefs.

He’s never been with a woman like you, so powerful, so hypnotic, so confident. It was driving him insane. A primal part of Clark has been awoken. He needs to have you…he needs to have you right now.

So sweet, so addictive…your taste, your little moans, the way you pushed yourself against his face. Clark’s hands closed around your hips, pulling you further back into his face.

“Oh my god” You moaned softly, pulling away from Dan’s cock to rest your face against his thick thigh.

“What’s wrong, Munkie? Does it feel too good?” Dan chuckled, his hand pushing your hair away from your face as you stared up at him.

“Yes, sir. So good” You replied weakly, leaving small butterfly kisses on his shaft - that rested against your cheek.

“Fuck, you look so fucking gorgeous like this” Dan praised, pushing your hair away from your face as your eyes closed from pleasure.

Clark pulled his head away from your core, backing up from between your thighs to watch your reaction to his fingers traveling up and down your folds. His thumb drew lazy circles around your clit, keeping you on edge as his middle and ring finger slowly entered your pussy. He watched you gasp loudly before your lips opened wide to secure Dan’s cock back in your mouth.

It was a hypnotic sight, Dan was solely focused on you while you were completely focused on the sensations. Clark couldn’t stop staring at you, his fingers slowly changed in pace and pressure, he was testing all the little things that made you moan louder, frown deeper, and beg for more. Clark was reveling in the feeling of having so much power over you, of how expressive your body was and how much it would silently tell him everything he needed to know. There was no over-the-top moaning, no character being played, no attempt to be “the best fuck he’s ever had”, no fake orgasms, no need to impress him with crazy positions and tricks.

It was simply pleasure in its rawest, purest, deepest, and most sincere form. And that’s what made this experience so carnal and desire-driven to him, the raw honesty of it all was the main cause for his uncontrollable need to feel you around him.

Blurry vision, dry mouth, hoarse voice, shaky limbs.

Devotion, need, fulfillment, desire, passion, pure instinct.

It felt like a dream, a dream he never wanted to end. Is this what sex supposed to feel like? This connection, the sensations…the feelings, the thoughts. Everything else seemed so shallow now compared to this.

The one-night stands lost their value, their fun, their distracting nature. They left his balls and soul empty, but this? Clark never felt so alive before in his life.

You were straddling Clark’s hips, facing him, his blue eyes stared directly into your soul, you were reveling in the feeling of his cock slowly sliding in and out of your pussy, going in the opposite direction of Dan’s movements.

Dan’s lips rested against your ear, hushed words escaping his lips. A secret, meant for only you to hear.

“You’re still mine, right, Munks? Only mine?”

You looked over your shoulder to the pair of dark orbs behind you. Your lips covered his in a passionate kiss, pouring every ounce of your heart into it, trying to express every emotion you felt with your lips, but still, it didn’t feel like enough.

You pulled yourself away from the boys, their confused frowns soon disappearing once you turned around in Clark’s lap to now face Dan.

You guided Clark’s cock into your ass this time, where Dan was minutes ago. You felt the rubber of the condom going in easily as Clark softly whispered “Oh my fucking God” from behind you.

With your eyes now staring at Dan, you guided his hand to your pussy, silently asking him to fill you up with his fingers, and he instantly did.

Your fist closed around his cock, gliding up and down his thickness. “I’m yours only. No one compares to you, no one can replace you” Was your answer. Your voice was hushed, mere above a whisper, mirroring Dan’s tone.

“Can we please never do this again? I don't think I have what it takes to do this again. Not with you…my feelings are too raw, too real, too deep. I can’t…I feel like I’m losing you”.

Your hands momentarily stopped stroking him and you asked with concern “Do you want to stop?”

Dan’s free hand closed around your fist as he guided your hand to continue to stroke him. “No” He answered with a reassuring smile, “I just don't want to share you with anyone else ever again”.

“Consider it done” You smiled back, moaning when the sync of his fingers and Clark’s cock became too much for you to bear.

“Are you gonna cum, Munkie?” Dan smirked upon seeing your half-open lids.

You nodded in agreement before Dan pulled you away from Clark to toss you on your back on the mattress.

“What the fuck, man?” Clark protested, eyes snapping open at the sudden lack of your warmth covering him.

“I want her to come in my mouth” Dan growled, his lips already hovering over your pussy. His tongue darted out, tasting your wetness.

“Didn’t you want to know how good at giving head she is?” Your boyfriend asked his best friend. “It’s time for you to find out, mate” Dan smirked, his lips already returning to his favorite place in the world.

Clark quickly removed the condom, throwing it somewhere over his shoulder. You eagerly licked his crown, earning a moan from the blonde man.

“So you were wondering all along?” You teased with a mischievous smile.

“Yeah,” The blonde man chuckled. “And I can’t wait to find out” His hands caressed your hair back so he could get a better glimpse at your face “But something tells me I won’t regret it, baby. If anything it’ll fuck me up” Clark’s throaty laugh died in his throat the minute your lips closed around his tip.

Yep, he was, beyond any reasonable doubt, completely fucked.

[lennsart]

Hello all, remember that one time I lost my mind over a very badly translated french Zelda Encyclopedia ?

Remember how I said there'd be a part 2 ?

Did you think I had forgotten about it ?

Well you're right. I very much did.

But I remembered now, and I am not done screaming. This book personally insulted me, alright ? It pretended to be a useful tool to feed my obsession and was actually only pain.

And fun, I had to admit. Turns out that correcting it with my sister has been perfect enrichement for insane Zelda fans. We sighed a lot and shouted even more.

(But honestly, it's a bit sad how bad the book is. Like, were the translators so rushed that they made it with a bad internet translator and didn't double check ? Or did they just cared so little ?

Ok, my funnier theory is that they paired one guy who was lazy and knew fuck all about LoZ and one guy who was decent at their job... And only let the first guy do the final proofread.)

But anyways, case in point, here are my evidences !

And if you thought last post was long, wait 'til you see how I realized I don't have a 10 pictures limit on computer :]

Firstly, a thing that made me laugh as I saw the pictures I gathered for this very serious case is the clear gradual lack of respect me and my... Research Partner had for the book :

There's a "sticky notes" era, a "pencils 'cause we aren't gonna waste so many sticky notes at worst we'll erase" era, and a "we don't give a fuck anymore get the markers out" era.

Last time I divided the mistakes in three categories, "Lore mistakes", "Translation mistakes" and the dreaded "What the fuck mistakes". They are... Inegal, to say the least, but let's keep this system !

Translation Mistakes

And I mean it in the sense that "the french translation have different names and stuff than the english one and this book ignores them", not in just general translation... Because if you go that way, this entire book is a translation mistake !

But here we go :

Little details, but they left "Koroks" written this way when the french version is "Korogus", they left "Impar" (the character from Twilight princess) when in french her name is, well, Impa, they left "Mia" for the name of the remlit when it's "Miou"...

As you'll see along the way, my research partner got very mad at the book and wrote a lot of funny comments. Here you can see that next to where the book says that the river zoras "become violent", she wrote "not all zora" in all caps, which I find hilarious.

And she's right ! Don't badmouth Echoes of Wisdom Dradd, he's a cool dude !

Here, the book pretends that the kikwis all have sort of teas as their name. English reader, I hear you get offended : "The book is right !"

NOT IN FRENCH IT'S NOT ! Here, kikwis have herbs inspired names, not tea.

Well, I was going to make a joke about "DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DRINK PARSLEY OR BASIL TEA ?" but apparently they exist, so. My bad. Can we still agree that these are not types of tea ? There's tea with parsley, but the parsley is not the tea, right ?

(Just for fun, our kikwis are named : Basil (for basil, shocker I know), Jasmi (for jasmine), Pirsel (for "persil", parsley), Romar (for "romarin", rosemary) and Lorion (probably for "laurier", bay leaf. This one is less obvious so I'm not sure)

So here it's a little worse than the other times because in the text, they used the literal translation of "The Imprisoned" from Skyward Sword, except in the title they used the correct french name, "the banished".

They really said : Here's a description of le Banni ! He's called le Prisonnier.

WHY

Ok so this one is a little funny to me, bear with me alright ?

In Phantom Hourglass, one type of enemies are the Phantoms in the Ocean King temple, right ? Well, Phantom in french (literally AND in Zelda, wonderful) is Spectre.

Alright ? So what do the book say about Phantoms ? That they are Fantômes. Fantôme is a word that is phonetically the exact same as Phantom, see ? But it means ghost. Not phantom.

(I mean, they're synonyms, you know ? So phantom kinda means ghost and fantôme kinda means spectre, but It Is Not The Translation in the game so it makes it worse)

Actually, it was funny, but as I explains it it makes me a little mad. It was one google search away...

URGH and it's just the same thing again, yes technically the literal translation for "Triforce of Power" would be "Triforce de la puissance", but is it what it is in french ? NO, IT'S TRIFORCE DE LA FORCE (strength). I was alright with random characters name getting mispelled, but FUCK THIS ENCYCLOPEDIA, THIS ONE IS LITERALLY IN MULTIPLE GAMES LIKE EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT LOZ YOU KNOW THAT AT LEAST

All of these are details, but damn Zelda Encyclopedia, I know I'm insane about these games so maybe it's not that deep, but you're writing for the french fans, THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS WRITE THE FRENCH VERSION OF THINGS

Whew, ok, this is starting to annoy me I feel, so let's change subject, why not ? Here are the :

Lore Mistakes

There are not a lot of them, but they made me gesture widely at the book trying to form a sentence that, if I had managed, would probably have been "Where the fuck did they get that from ?"

Which means that there's a possibility that it's right, but seeing this bitch's track record, I'm going to assume it's not.

Here are pictures of Kokiris, what is the description ?

"Since they're the Hylians' descendants, they look a lot like them."

Since

WHEN ?

Like, genuinely, help me there. Am I the problem ? Are the kokiris supposed to be descended from the Hylians ? And if they are, where is it cited ? I literally almost completed Ocarina of Time for the second time and cannot remember it being hinted at anywhere. Like yeah, they look alike, but aren't kokiris separate forest spirits ???

The tone of the book also annoy me, like "since they're hylians' descendants", as if it was common sense. SIR I PLAY THESE GAMES SINCE I'M OLD ENOUGH TO HOLD A CONTROLLER WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR INFO FROM

It's making me question whether I'm stupid or if it's just bullshitting me right now !

This one is a graph about the different worlds in LoZ. My problem here is that... Well, firstly, my problem is that there is the Sky and the Skies, but I guess that this is like... TP Sky and SS Sky, maybe ?

The real problem is that between these two categories they put "Minish World".

Minish World ? You mean, like, Hyrule ?

...Ok, I'm jesting, they probably mean Cloud Tops and the Wind Tribe. But in that case... Say that ? They make it sound like all the Minish live in the sky ! Precisely between two versions of the sky !

Are minish angels...? No, better question. ARE MINISH OOCCA ??

This one annoys me greatly for several reasons, but I'm going to be so so brave about it :

As you can see, it's a representation of the LoZ Timeline, with two games highlighted : Link's Awakening and Phantom Hourglass. It's because this is talking about when Link goes in adventures in parallel worlds.

So firstly, fuck Majora's Mask, right ?

And then, the thing I have underlined is saying that those events happened in "both case after Ganon was slayed".

See how they say Ganon and not Ganondorf. See it, 'cause I'm not going to make any comment about it because it's nOT THAT IMPORTANT

Quick reminder : Ganondorf got defeated but Hyrule was left destroyed in Wind Waker (third branch of the timeline). Ganondorf's plans were foiled before he had time to do anything in Majora's Mask (second branch of the timeline).

You know where Ganondorf didn't get defeated ?? IN THE FIRST BRANCH OF THE TIMELINE. THE ONE WHERE LINK'S AWAKENING IS.

Really, why go out of your way to say that if it's Not Fucking Correct ? This book wakes up some kind of ancient wrath in me that should only belong to children whose snack got confiscated in school !

Ok, as I said earlier, there aren't many lore mistakes, but that's good because they are the ones that makes me question my sanity the most. Let's go to the category you're probably waiting for :

What the fuck mistakes

Starting with a tame one, but :

This book is incapable of saying the word "regent". It is literally saying, for both Hilda and Midna, that these "princesses" are the "queens" of their kingdom.

No they're not, they're princesses, you just said so, IT'S NOT THE SAME GODDAMN TITLE !!

So this one almost made it to the translation mistakes, but it's in the 'what the fuck' ones simply because it's so poorly translated that I'm not even sure what they originally meant.

It's talking about Spirit Tracks' Tower of Spirit, and you can read "Sparkling trains are activated thanks to the gathered energy."

Excuse me,

Sparkling Trains ?

My guess is that they're talking about the tracks, but even then, they're not called "sparkling" ? And if they're really talking about the tracks, they're then talking about the Spirit Tracks. You know, the ones the game is named about ?

Then, a question : WHERE THE FUCK DID "SPARKLING" CAME FROM.

In the same style, but this time I simply hated it too much to put it in Translation Mistakes : Remember the Fused Shadows in Twilight Princess ? Well in french, they're called Shadow Shards.

What do they call it here ? "Melted Shadows". Not fused, not shards, I'm losing my fucking mind

As I have written on my sticky note, this one is a very disrespectful one. Ciela, the fairy from Phantom Hourglass, has the same name in french and in english, but somehow they still managed to write "Chiela".

Why is it so disrespectful ? BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE "SHIT" IN FRENCH. SPECIFICALLY, IT SOUNDS LITERALLY LIKE THE SENTENCE "SHIT HERE". CIELA IS A PRETTY NAME, DAMNIT

Actually, it annoyed me so much that I went out of my way to show that thIS BOOK KNOWS HER NAME ! THEY DON'T HAVE ANY EXCUSES !!!

JUSTICE FOR CIELA !! FUCK YOU, FRENCH ZELDA ENCYCLOPEDIA !!!!

Honestly, it's funny to me now that these first pages had sticky notes. Ah, the good time from when I still had a slither of respect for this book...

Here, it just describes every Light Spirit from Twilight princess with animals : "goat, monkey, butterfly, snake". Firstly, they don't look exactly like animals, secondly...

Butterfly ?

I mean, Eldin has always looked like an owl to me ? Ok, the wings are vaguely butterfly-shaped, but it has a body and a face ?

Was Eldin a butterfly all along ? Am I going insane ? (ok yes I am, but reader, do you really see Eldin as a butterfly ???)

Oh ok, so now we just don't translate anything anymore. Remember how this isn't the first time this encyclopedia does that to me. You're right, why bother, I STILL HAVE TO FACT-CHECK THE BOOK ANYWAY, MIGHT AS WELL LEAVE IT AS IT WAS IN ENGLISH.

You know what else we could do ?

Leave actual mistakes in the book ! Let's forget a whole ass word in a sentence ! And why stop at random words ? Let's not proof read the title of the games ! Twillight Princess with two Ls ! What's next, MINISHIP CAP ??

(I said last time I'll never get over it, well, I didn't)

I think on my first post someone commented that the LoZ offical books weren't very accurate to begin with, and I hear that... But I still think there's a difference between accuracy and whatever the fuck this encyclopedia has going on

I spared you (and myself) some longer paragraphs that would have been harder to translate, but I swear to god it sounds like it hasn't been written by a human sometimes ! It's like they just put the whole book through a translator, and then went back to ADD some more mistakes ! I genuinely don't understand how an official product can be that bad !! It is hilarious, but also I want to bite through it sometimes.

I hope at least you enjoyed watching me lose my mind again ! It is fun to share how bad this book is, and I have to admit I had good laughs out of it. We haven't even attacked the items list yet... I'm scared ! But if I find atrocities, I'll report them here too.

(Maybe in like, 6 months, but I will !)