#but I'm in my feels tonight thinking about life and such
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drunken confessions
Theodore Nott x FemRavenclaw!Reader
Summary: Theo drinks a little bit more than he should....
Warnings: Drinking, No use of Y/N, Only mentions being in Ravenclaw once, and very cute???
Word Count: 1.6K
Note: Long time no see, my loves! I took a really long hiatus abruptly because life was kicking my ass badly. I decided that my first fic back should be a Theo fluff because who would I be if I didn't give this boy all of my attention? I hope you guys all enjoy it.
Banners by @cafekitsune
Music boomed through the Slytherin common room as you tried to navigate the sweaty bodies and screaming teens. You were trying to find Theodore, the person who had invited you. It was a celebratory party for Slytherin winning the quidditch game against Hufflepuff. You were in the Ravenclaw house but are good friends with many people in Slytherin.
"Oy," Draco pulled you to the side, "Looking for Theo?"
"Yeah, you've seen him?" you asked, gripping his arm so no one could separate you both. Draco nodded, pulling you to a separate room where Pansy, Daphne, Blaise, Enzo, Mattheo, and Theo sat.
"Finally, you're here." Daphne pulled you in for a hug, whispering in your ear, "Drunk pants over there have been asking about you for the past hour."
You glanced over at Theo, who was very drunk. "He never drinks this much." You whispered back to Daphne. She shrugged. "He caught the stitch. Winner of the game tonight."
You nodded, walking over to Theo and sitting next to him. He immediately grinned and wrapped his arms around your waist. "I've been waiting for you all night," Theo said, speaking slowly so his words didn't get slurred.
"I'm sorry. Why'd you drink so much without me?" You asked, tapping softly on his wrist. "I didn't mean to." Theo said, "Won the game, so people had given me a bunch of drinks."
You nodded, allowing Theo to go back to being the life of the party. Enzo sat down next to you, to keep you company as the party continued.
"So, what's your excuse for not being at the game tonight?" Enzo asked.
"That project for Transfiguration. My partner is an idiot who waited last minute to do his part, so I had to help him. I feel bad for missing it." You said, taking a sip of your water.
"Theo was upset that you weren't there. Probably what motivated him to win the game. That boy is obsessed with you," Enzo said, nudging you. You cleared your throat, feeling a sudden sense of nervousness. "We're just friends, Enzo."
"For now." Enzo wiggled his eyebrows. You laughed at him, rolling your eyes.
Did you like Theo? Yeah, but you didn't think he would like you back. He had a lot of girls on him and he could choose any of them. You were so wrapped in your mind and your conversation that you didn't notice that Theo had wandered off until you heard your name being called.
"Take Theo back to his dorm, please!" Blaise pleaded as he and Mattheo held a nearly blacked-out Theo up. You hopped up, grabbing Theo from them.
"Oh, hey, pretty girl." Theo drunkenly grinned at you. You smiled back. "You should've stopped drinking, Teddy."
"Really should've." Mattheo agreed. "You know where his dorm is. Don't worry about cleaning up down here, we got it."
You nodded, saying your goodbyes to everyone before walking upstairs to Theo's room.
"Pretty girl." Theo dragged out the pet name. "Your hair is so soft."
"Thanks, Teddy." You opened the door to his room, switched on the lights, and put him on the bed.
"Come on, let's get you in pajamas." You tapped his nose lightly, making him smile at you.
"You're so pretty, pretty girl. That's why I call you 'pretty girl' because you're so fucking pretty. Sometimes I think you're otherworldly because of it," Theo gushed, falling back on his bed. You felt your heartbeat pick up as the compliments flowed from Theo's mouth.
"Thank you, Theo. Here, put this shirt on." You handed the shirt to Theo, who shook his head no. "I like to be shirtless."
Theo pulled his shirt over his head and threw it in the hamper. You tried your best not to stare at his chest before handing him a pair of pants.
"You're taking good care of me, pretty girl. I wish you could always take care of me. Merlin, I love you so much." Theo spoke again. You felt your eyes widen as you looked at him. "What?" You said softly.
"I love you like I'm so in love with you. I just want to be with you all the time." Theo continued. You cleared your throat, pushing him under the covers. Theo was clearly saying anything to you because he was drunk. If Pansy or Daphne were here, he would probably say the same thing. You forced yourself to repeat that to yourself repeatedly so you could believe it.
"Get some sleep, Theo, goodnight." You switched off his light as you swung his door open. "Goodnight, my pretty girl. I love you." Theo said.
You quickly shut the door, taking a deep breath to calm yourself. You didn't know how to interpret what had just happened. Theo admitted to being in love with you. Or did he? He was drunk, so he probably wasn't serious. Yeah, he was drunk. You took a deep breath before making your way back downstairs.
Mattheo saw you hurry down the stairs and raised his eyebrow at you, "You good? Is Theo okay?"
"Yeah, he's fine. I'm just gonna go back to my dorm," You said. Mattheo eyed you, "What happened?"
"What? Why would anything happen?" You asked, diverting your eyes anywhere but to Mattheo's.
"..."
You sighed, glancing down at your feet, "Theo said he was in love with me."
The room froze as everyone turned their heads to look at you. Suddenly, you felt tiny. "What? Why are you guys staring at me like that?" You asked.
"Nothing! It's just...." Daphne glanced at everyone, "We didn't expect Theo to confess that when he was drunk."
"Yeah, I had galleons on an angry confession followed by an angry, passionate kiss," Draco said, causing Pansy to hit him in the arm.
You blinked. Confess? Confess as in.... he's been holding this in for a long time?
"Wait, so he's telling the truth, and you all knew it?" You asked. Everyone made noises in agreement.
"I mean, everyone can see how head over heels he is for you. You were the only one denying it." Blaise said. Your face felt hot, and you shook your head, "I'm going to my dorm."
Everyone laughed, bidding you goodbye.
Theo woke up the next day with a terrible headache.
"Ahh, there's our champion." Blaise's teasing voice caused Theo to groan.
"Why would I ever drink that much?" Theo asked, mainly to himself. Enzo laughed, setting a cup of water and some medicine on Theo's bedside. "I don't know, but it was quite entertaining to see you get taken care of by your pretty girl." Enzo's voice was teasing and light.
Theo's face immediately heated at the idea of acting like a fool in front of you. "Did I do something stupid in front of her?"
Blaise and Enzo shared a look before shrugging. Theo looked at both of them. "What? What did I do? Oh, Merlin, tell me I didn't embarrass myself."
"I wouldn't say you embarrassed yourself," Blaise said.
"But sober Theo definitely wouldn't have confessed to her that he's in love with her," Enzo said.
It took Theo a moment to realize what Enzo had said before his face turned completely red in shame and embarrassment.
"I told her I was in love with her?" Theo groaned loudly. That was not how he pictured confessing to you. Well, he never pictured confessing his feelings to you because he was scared and had no intentions of doing it.
"It's a good thing, don't you think? I mean, she finally knows." Blaise said, "Although she might need some convincing because she thinks you only said it because you were drunk and probably didn't mean it."
Theo hopped out of his bed, finding the nearest t-shirt before slipping on his shoes. He had already confessed how he felt and if it's already out there, there's no point in hiding it.
Theo spirited to your dorm, not muttering a good morning to anyone as he pushed past them. Finally, he got to your dorm and banged on it until he heard your feet shuffling.
"Teddy?" You asked groggily before focusing your eyes on the out-of-breath and frizzled Theo in front of you, "What the hell happened to you?"
"I meant it."
"What?"
There was silence between you two. He knew you knew what he was talking about, so it didn't take long for realization to take over your face.
"I meant it." Theo repeated himself, "Every word I said last night while I was sloppy drunk was true."
"I have been trying to work up the courage to say something about it for the last year or so. Granted, I didn't think it would be while I was drunk."
"How long?" You tilted your head to the side, with a hint of amusement gracing your face.
Theo's face flushed pink, as he knew you were teasing him, as well as being genuinely curious. "Since first year. When I saw you on the train to school."
"You didn't even speak to me until third year."
"I was nervous." Theo let out a breath. "I watched you, though."
You held back a laugh as Theo immediately turned even more red. "That was creepy. I didn't mean it like that! I just— we've shared a lot of classes and— I'm going to shut up."
You stood on your tippy toes, kissing Theo's flushed cheeks. "I've had a crush on you since second year."
"Really?"
You nodded, smiling. "So what now?"
"Um, will you go on a date with me? Maybe next weekend after the quidditch game?" Theo asked, feeling more nervous than ever.
"I would love to, " you smiled. And I won't miss this game, I promise."
"I'm holding you to that." Theo smiled back.
You gave Theo another kiss on the cheek. "It's still early. I'll see you later, okay?"
Theo nodded, and you smiled, closing your door. Theo stayed there for a few more seconds until he realized he probably looked crazy for just smiling at your door.
Who knew getting drunk had some perks?
#theodore nott#slytherin boys#hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry#theodore nott x reader#jayybugg fics#slytherin#fluff#theo nott x reader
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critical role ships as hozier songs
vax / keyleth : francesca
percy / vex : work song
pike / scanlan : foreigner's god
fjord / jester : nobody
beau / yasha : as it was
caleb / essek : from eden
imogen / laudna : NFWMB
orym / dorian : like real people do
ashton / fearne : dinner & diatribes
specific lyrics that i feel like represent the pairings under the cut!
vax / keyleth : francesca
how could you think, darling, i'd scare so easily?
my life was a storm, since i was born, how could i fear any hurricane?
if i could hold you for a minute, darling, i'd go through it again
it was too soon, when that part of you was ripped away
i would not change it each time, heaven is not fit to house a love like you and i
percy / vex : work song
when my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth, no grave can hold my body down, i'll crawl home to her
and i was burning up a fever, i didn't care much how long i lived
but i swear, i thought i dreamed her, she never asked me once about the wrong i did
if the lord don't forgive me, i'd still have my baby and my babe would have me
in the low lamplight, i was free, heaven and hell were words to me
pike / scanlan : foreigner's god
she moved with shameless wonder, the perfect creature rarely seen
her eyes look sharp and steady into the empty parts of me
wondering who i copy, mustering some tender charm
breaking if i try conveying, the broken love i make to her
fjord / jester : nobody
i'd be appalled if i saw you ever try to be a saint, i wouldn't fall for someone i thought couldn't misbehave
but i've had no love like your love from nobody
if i had the choice between hearing either noise, the excitement of a thousand, or the soothing of your voice
and on the other side, why should we deny the truth? we could have less to worry about, honey, i won't lie to you
beau / yasha : as it was
and in a few days i will be there, love, whatever here that's left of me is yours, just as it was
the lights were as bright as my baby, but your love was unmoved
tell me if, somehow, some of it remains, how long you would wait for me and how long i've been away
the shape that i'm in now, your shape in the doorway, make your good love known to me or just tell me about your day
and the nights were as dark as my baby, and half as beautiful too
caleb / essek : from eden
there's something tragic about you, something so magic about you, don't you agree?
honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago
innocence died screaming, honey, ask me, i should know
there's something broken about this, but i might be hoping about this
a rope in hand for your other man to hang from a tree
imogen / laudna : NFWMB
give your heart and soul to charity, cause the rest of you, the best of you, honey, belongs to me
ain't it a gentle sound, the rolling in the graves?
if i was born as a blackthorn tree, i'd wanna be felled by you, held by you, fuel the pyre of your enemies
ain't it the life of you, your lightning of the blaze?
orym / dorian : like real people do
i will not ask you where you came from, i will not ask and neither should you
i know that look, dear, eyes always seeking, was there in someone that dug long ago
honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips, we should just kiss like real people do
ashton / fearne : dinner & diatribes
i knew well from our first hookup, the look of mischief in your eyes
your friends are a fate that befell me, hell is the talking type, i'd suffer hell if you'd tell me what you'd do to me tonight
honey, i laugh when it sinks in, a pillar i am, upright
now that the evening is slowing, now that the end's in sight, honey, it's easier knowing what you'd do to me tonight
oh, let there be hotel complaints and grievances raised and that kind of love
#for simplicity i only did pc romances that are canon and requited#so like yes beau and caleb both had crushes on jester but they had official relationships with other people#zero shade to any non canon ships i am a proud multishipper these were just my thoughts#critical role#vox machina#mighty nein#bells hells#vaxleth#percahlia#pikelan#fjorester#beauyasha#shadowgast#imodna#dorym#callowmoore#keyleth#keyleth of the air ashari#vax'ildan#percy de rolo#vex'ahlia#scanlan shorthalt#pike trickfoot#fjord stone#jester lavorre#beau lionett#yasha nydoorin#caleb widogast#essek thelyss#imogen temult
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Boyfriend material
headcanon
characters: jude x fem!reader
may contain spelling and translation errors!
1. Affectionate in small gestures
Jude is the kind of boyfriend who pays attention to small details and uses them to surprise you. He remembers your favorite coffee, the way you like your blankets made, or how you like your eggs scrambled. No matter how busy he is with games and practices, he always finds time to send you messages like:
“Just a reminder that you are amazing. Can’t wait to see you later.”
“I love you so much babe, remember to eat and drink water. Counting down the hours until I see you.”
2. Protective, but just right
Jude is naturally protective. He holds your hand in crowds, walks outside on sidewalks, and his gaze automatically scans for anything that might make you uncomfortable. He’s not controlling, but if someone crosses the line, like making disrespectful comments, his smile disappears and he deals with the situation firmly and respectfully.
3. Romantic at heart
Jude specializes in surprises. He doesn't wait for special occasions to show his love; he might show up with flowers because he saw one that reminded you of one, or organize an outdoor picnic for a quiet moment away from the cameras. When he's traveling, he'll write you notes and leave them hidden around the house for you to find while he's away.
"Hi, sweetie, if you found this note, it means I'm almost home. Love you!"
4. Unconditional support
No matter what your dream or struggle, Jude is there to support you. He listens attentively when you share your ideas or concerns, offers advice when asked, and is your biggest cheerleader in any endeavor. During difficult times, he is your rock, always transmitting calm and security.
5. Playful manner
Jude has an infectious sense of humor. He loves to make inside jokes, tickle you unexpectedly, and come up with cute and silly nicknames. Sometimes, he'll even steal food from your plate just to watch you complain, and then laugh, returning the forkful with a mischievous look.
"Hey babe, I think I'm in the mood for some of your dessert... How about sharing it with me, huh?"
6. Family first
He loves spending time with his family and includes you in everything. From quiet evenings watching TV with his parents to lively lunches with his brother Jobe, Jude makes sure you feel like you’re part of his personal life.
“Honey, my mom invited us to have lunch with her tomorrow, do you want to go with me?”
7. Undivided attention
Even though he's a star, when he's with his girlfriend, he have you undivided attention. Jude is the type of guy who puts his phone on airplane mode during a dinner date or a lazy afternoon and makes sure to maintain eye contact during conversations, showing that you're a priority.
8. A little jealous, but adorable
Jude trusts you, but he can't help but feel a touch of jealousy when someone is too obvious about flirting. He doesn't cause a scene, but his arm around you becomes tighter, and he makes a point of referring to you as "my girl" in conversation.
9. Loves routine
He loves the little things: sharing a couch to watch a bad movie, cooking together, and even going out to buy last-minute groceries. For Jude, anything with you is better than the most glamorous life without you.
"Babe, how about we watch a movie together tonight? It's raining and I wanted to stay with you."
10. Proud
Jude always finds a way to show you how special you are. Whether in public or in private, he doesn't hide how much he admires you and makes sure you know how amazing he thinks you are.
"I think everyone should know that I have the most amazing girlfriend in the entire world!"
#jude bellingham#dorabellingham#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham one shot#real madrid#football#football fanfic#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham x fem!reader#jude bellingham x reader#football x you#football x y/n#football x reader#jude bellingham smut#jude bellingham imagines#judebellingham#jude victor willliam bellingham#jb5 x fem!reader#jb5 x reader#jb22#jb5
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LITTLE THINGS
synopsis: when your boyfriend climbs up the very tree you hate so much, on a stormy night, all just to see you, suddenly the big bad oak tree outside doesn't seem all that intimidating
wc: 1.2k
pairings: chenle × fem! reader, established relationship
genre: fluff
warning: mentions of a storm, uses of petnames, use of the word death
notes: HAPPY CHENLE DAY! this is a little cheesy but fuck it we ball ig
You've always hated the massive oak tree outside your bedroom window, the one that likes to play these unintentional pranks on you in the middle of the night.
Branches flying and spinning as if they're about to snap off, leaves forming shapes you didn't even know existed through the window as the wind whistled behind you.
It felt eerie, like you were in those horror movies where the main lead seemed to have no common sense and jumped at the oppurtunity at getting themselves killed, like they actively sought out death.
It made you feel like danger lurked at every corner, you were caged by nothing more than the four thin walls of your bedroom, and that the curtains that masked the outside, though not particularly well, were your only form of blissful ignorance.
On the windy, less peaceful nights as you tossed and turned in bed, you didn't appreciate that massive oak tree whatsoever. Tonight, your dislike for the thing feels amplified, and you come to the conclusion that you'll be chopping it down even if it's the last thing you do. Heck, you'd get the saw and do it yourself if you could.
You don't like it, the rumbling, those loud cracks or the booming sound followed by quick, incessant flashes across the sky.
It caused shivers to run down your spine, your pupils to dilate and your eyes to be screwed shut, your fingers curling in on themselves as you cocooned yourself in the warmth of your blanket.
Simply put you don't like thunderstorms
And that darn oak tree is of no help. Especially not when there's a rather distinct shadow slowly crawling across that of the tree, one you take peaks at and look away from in turn as you slowly sink deeper into your mattress, seeing it move towards you, getting closer by the second
You swear you'd elicit a scream had it not been the dead of the night, knowing if you did, you'd get an absolute earful about it the next morning, being such a scaredy cat at your big age
There's a knocking at your window only a few moments later. You gulp.
God you did not want to die today.
"Y/n" there's a deep, hesitant whisper of your name and you can't help but curl further into the thin duvet that rests over your shaking body, by no means was it cold, but it felt protective against the storm outside, and that was reason enough for you to wrap yourself up in the blue comforter— your life practically depended on it
You're imagining things, you convince yourself, sighing and closing your eyes in attempts to drift off to sleep.
But the light treading of footsteps that grows louder and louder has you bolting your eyes open in seconds
"Oh goody, you're awake" chenle's beaming voice in your room at 2am was not what you had been expecting, you're not quite sure where he gets this much energy from in the middle of the night either, shooting him a dark glare, between your own two sleepy eyes
"You couldn't use the damn door Zhong?" your hand plants itself against your forehead as you shoot up from your bed, quietly stomping over to him to shut the window— something you'd been meaning to do for the past few hours, but had simply been too scared to do.
"Yeah well your parents hate me and I'm not sure they'd like me making my jolly old way through the front door given the hour" he rolls his eyes, setting his wet jacket down to dry
"And you think they'll like you for sneaking in through the window instead?" you whisper yell, brows somewhat furrowed
"What they don't know won't hurt them" he shrugs, a little too casually for someone who'd just parkoured their way up a tree at 2am, you hum regardless, he wasn't wrong.
"Besides they don't hate you" he takes a seat at the edge of your bed
"Now don't lie to me princess" he chuckles low and slow "we both know they hate do, especially daddio"
"Hate is a strong word, they're just not your biggest fans" you defend, letting chenle wrap you up in the spare hoodie of his he'd bought along with him "though I can't say that you calling my father, daddio is doing much to help"
"I didn't come here to talk about whether your parents approve of me" he smiles, eyes rolling yet again as he wraps his arm around you, "that's a conversation for later— right now, I'm here for you"
"At 2am on a Monday morning? we have school Chenle"
"Well correct me if im wrong princess but I'm sure you'd rather me be here than be all alone on a night like this" he says, gesturing towards the window with a tilt of his neck
"No way" you huff "i'm a big girl, a little storm won't phase me" you say proudly with a puffed chest, not that it lasts long as you practically throw yourself into chenle's arms with a muffled screech, when another strike of lightning booms above you, heartbeat erratic
chenle chuckles to himself
"What was that, a little storm, not sure about a big girl but you sure are a big baby" he laughs again, "my big baby"
You pout, "don't tease, it's scary"
You feel his hand run across your hair in attempts to ease the racing of you heart, pulling you from his chest to take ahold of your cheeks in his hands, gently caressing them with tender eyes locked into your own
His stare is strong, unlike yours, yet there's a deep rooted gentleness to those eyes that overwhelms you with calm. Chenle always knew this fear of yours made you feel pathetic, childish in fact.
"is it still scary? even when I'm here"
You respond with a shy shaking of your head
"Nothings scary when you're here," you whisper against his hold, and chenle swears, he feels his heart swell at how sweet your words are, falling from your lips so hushed, almost like they were sacred
"Not even that big bad oak tree outside?" chenle points at the horrific outline of the tree outside, earning a quick shudder from you before you tuck yourself back into his hold
"Not funny lele" you sulk
"Come on princess, it was a little" his lips tug upwards, your own smile hidden away between the material of his black hoodie
You shake your head "hate that tree with a passion"
"even if it helped me get up here?"
You shake your head again, maybe the big bad oak tree wasn't all that bad, maybe you just had to give it a chance to prove itself
"I'm glad you came" you say, pecking his cheek to affirm your gratitude
"Of course I came princess, you know I could never leave you alone on a night like this" he holds you tight against his chest, so firm you wonder whether he too thinks the wind would break through the walls and sweep you away
"Besides, I have to make sure there's no other guys sneaking in through your window"
#chenle x reader#chenle fluff#nct dream chenle#nct chenle#chenle#chenle x oc#chenle x y/n#chenle x you#nct dream x y/n#nct dream x oc#nct dream x female reader#nct dream x you#nct dream x reader#nct x female reader#nct x oc#nct x y/n#nct x you#nct x reader#nct fluff
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Marvel: I Have A Proposal For You
Parings: Steve Rogers x Reader
Description:
Reader has no luck with me her own age, they're useless and never put the effort in to make her cum, Steve offers to help her.
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Smut, Older Man/Younger Woman, Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin
Words: 4,521
So I'm in a bit of a writing rut on my series, so I thought I'd write a quick little smut with Stevie rather than stress over my series. Hope you enjoy <3
You huff loudly as you walk into the Avengers kitchen at 1am, you didn't expect anyone to be awake, but of course with so many people living under one incredibly large roof, there was. Steve sat inside at the kitchen breakfast bar, drinking his small glass of whiskey.
"I hate men" You snap, huffing again as you lean against a counter, you hadn't said it specifically to Steve, you just needed to get it out, you had been thinking it for a while. A hour to be exact.
Steve watched as you walked into the kitchen, he noticed your annoyed demeanor and stands up, walking closer to you.
"What's up?" He asked, his blue eyes on you, worried something bad had happened.
"Men" You mutter "Well, specifically men my age, they're useless...I went out tonight, ready to party and have some fun, and went home with this guy, he didn't even make me cum! But when he was finished, he just rolled over and went to sleep!" You ranted, your thoughts thinking over the events of the night again, this was the last time you'd ever have a one night stand with a random man. They were useless.
Steve stood listening intently as you ranted, a small smirk forming on his lips as you continued vented.
"He just rolled over and went to sleep? Just like that?" He asked, he was leaning against the opposite kitchen counter now, his arms crossed over his chest, his muscles maybe distracting you just a little.
"Just like that!" You yell, you then notice the small redness over Steve's cheeks. "Oh...Steve, I'm sorry, I'm sure you don't want to hear about my pathetic sex life" You say, feeling a little guilty.
Steve chuckles at your words, he took a step closer to you.
"It's okay. I don't mind listening to you rant. So, tell me more. This guy, how old is he exactly?"
"My age...well, twenty-three, so a year older than me" You answer, rolling your eyes at the thought of the guy again. At least he didn't finish inside of you...you kept telling yourself.
"And he didn't even make you finish, that's a little rude" Steve sighed, that smirk forming on his lips again.
"I'm telling ya, men my age are useless" You huff pushing yourself off the counter and taking a few steps away from the area. "Guess I'll go to bed, sort it out myself"
Steve notices the disappointment on your face as he watched you move. He couldn't help but feel a pang of annoyance, not just at the way that guy had treated you, but at the thought of you having to 'sort it out' by yourself.
"Wait a second" The words formed in his mouth before his brain even finishing thinking them. A idea coming to his head. You stop walking and turn to look at him.
"Yes?" You ask. Steve then pushes off the kitchen counter he was leaning on and walks over to you, standing an arms length away from you. His eyes fixated on yours as he stood in front of you.
"Can I ask you a question?"
You smile up at him and nod. "Of course"
Steve stood another step closer to you, shorting the distance between you both, he held your gaze as he asked his question on his mind.
"If there was a way to...'solve' this problem of yours right now, would that be something that would interest you?" He asks, his voice low and husky. The breath within you was suddenly caught in your throat. You looked him up and down quickly, wondering if you were dreaming...your crush on the older man was something you'd had for a while, not that anyone knew. He was a lot older than you, so naturally you never thought he'd like you.
"And...how would you 'solve' my problem?" You ask cooly. Steve obviously noticed your lingering gaze, he could see the flicker of curiosity within your eyes as you looked at him. His heart rate picked up a bit as he watched your reaction, your cheeks had a slight red tint to them, and your tongue darted out to lick your lips, your eyes never straying from his. He leaned in a bit closer to you as he spoke quietly to you.
"Well, I have an idea"
"Yes?" You ask breathlessly.
Steve continued to observe your face, noticing the slight change in your breath as you spoke. He leaned in a little closer, stepping closer, your bodies almost touching now.
"You said that the guy you were with didn't...make you finish, right?" He asked, his voice soft and low as he spoke.
"He didn't" You answer quietly as you look up at him, his eyes sparkling down as he looks at you. You lick your lips again, your body feeling weaker and weaker as he spoke. You could guess what he meant, you hoped you were right in your thoughts. The feeling in your lower stomach was strong, the need and want for him growing.
"So you're all...pent up and unsatisfied, right?" Steve asks, he noticed your slight irritation at the fact that the guy didn't make you feel good. He felt annoyed on your behalf, but quickly he pushed that thought aside. You nodded, your eyes still on his, though you felt as if your eyes had a glaze of lust over them with how you were feeling right now.
"And you don't want to have to 'take care' of it yourself, right?" He asks, his voice lower and lower with every word.
"No" You answered quietly.
He held your gaze for a moment longer before speaker, his voice becoming a bit more huskier.
"In that case...I have a proposal for you"
"Yes?" You asked, your body tingling as you thought about the things he could do to your body. He took another step closer, if that were possible, you were touching now, hips to hips. He looked down at you, a hint of a smirk on his face.
"I can...'assist' you with taking care of that problem, if you'd like"
"I'd really, really like that" You whisper, Steve had lowered himself slightly, so your faces were close now. Close enough that if you just moved forward slightly, you'd be touching noses. You could smell his cologne he was so close, it only added to your current state.
"Then I'd be happy to 'assist' you, sweetheart"
"Please" You almost whimpered. You cursed to yourself in your mind for sounding so pathetic. Steve smirked and gently raised a hand placing it under your chin, tilting your face up to look at him more intently.
"So eager...I like that" He whispers, the breath from his words touching your lips in a way that makes you feel almost feral, ready to take him, let him have you however he wishes. The urge to please him bubbles up inside you, and usually you'd maybe feel embarrassed, but not today, not with Steve. You nodded pathetically, his fingers still having a hold on your chin as you move.
"Please Steve, I am"
"Don't worry...I'll make you feel good, I'll take care of you"
"We...we should go to one of our rooms" You whisper, hating yourself for breaking the wonderful moment between the two of you, but having another Avenger walk in on you was not on your bucket list. He nodded in agreement, his eyes roaming over your face, he wraps an arm around your waist, holding you close, leading you towards the hallway.
"Let's go to mine"
"Okay" You say softly, letting him lead you completely. Steve kept his arm around your waist as he led you down the hall to his room. As he pushes the door open, he guides you inside, closing the door and locking it afterwards.
"Fuck, can't believe we're doing this" You whisper, almost in awe at one of your fantasies coming true. Steve couldn't help but chuckle at your comment. He led you over to the bed, guiding you to sit down before standing in front of you. You looked up at him, enjoying the sight of him.
"Don't worry, sweetheart. I promise I'll make you feel good" He says with a sweet smile. You nodded, and returned the smile hoping he'd understand you were willing to put your entire trust onto him. He must of because he smile widened and he began to unbutton his shirt, he pulled it off his body, revealing the muscles underneath.
"Wow" You whispered out-loud. You looked up over his body, your mouth watered at the slightly of his muscles and naked torso. He chuckled softly and began unbuttoning his trousers as well, keeping his eyes on your face as he dropped them down to the ground. He down stood in front of you with just his boxers covering his skin.
"You like what you see?" He asks, and your eyes were no longer on his, now looking at the large bulge in front of your face, trapping within the confinements of his boxers.
"God...yes...so much" You say with a slight smirk, you moved your hands from your lap and onto his hips, your fingers hooking just under his boxers. You heard Steve's breath hitch as you touched his skin.
"Someone's eager..." He teased, his voice a bit hoarse.
"Shut up" You answered as you slowly pulled his boxers down his toned legs. He let out a soft chuckle.
"Eager and rude" He said, still teasing you.
"You have no idea" You mutter, you were eager, for him. You pulled his boxers all the way down, his already hard cock bounced free from his boxers and slapped against his stomach. His boxers were now pooled down at his feet, and his cock stood to attention in front of your face, your stomach fluttered at the sight, he was large...Larger than you'd had before, but not only did he have ample length, he was thick...You could imagine how full you'd feel with it inside of you, you squeezed your legs together, feeling excited.
"God Steve, you're beautiful"
"Beautiful huh? You think I'm beautiful?" He asked, his voice a bit huskier than before.
"So much, god, I know this was originally about me finishing...But can I put my mouth on you?" You ask, your mouth watering at the thought of tasting him. Your eyes flicker up to his momentarily as you ask your question.
"Go ahead sweetheart" He answers, his cheeks were flushed a little red now. It was enough to make you feel giddy. You moved your hands first, taking his hardness in your hand, it was just larger than both of your hands wrapped around it. You left one hand wrapped around his cock, close to the base as you moved forward, licking his head experimentally. Steve's breathing got heavier as you completely wetted the head of his cock.
Closing your eyes you really got into it, taking his tip into your mouth, moaning softly at his taste, he tasted clean, fresh, unlike so many men you had been with. You expertly moved your hand up and down his length whilst taking as much of his cock into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you suck. Your eyes were wet, small tears were streaming down your cheeks, he must of noticed because one of his hands moved to wipe them. Steve was moaning loudly now, he had moved one hand to your head, softly holding you, guiding you but not forcing you down. You would of smiled if your mouth wasn't busy, even in moments like this, he was ever the man with the manners.
You moved your mouth a little faster, your jaw had started to ache slightly, but you didn't stop, until his hand moved down to your throat, stopping your movements, you pulled off from him and looked up at him through your wet eyelashes.
"Why'd you stop me?"
"I didn't want to come before you darling" He whispers.
"Oh" You say quietly, he was perfect "Let me level the playing field and we'll continue" You smirk, standing up from the bed, you lift the dress you were wearing off your body, throwing it somewhere random in the room. Steve lets out a low breath as he watched you. You watched as he swallowed, his eyes fixed on your body.
"Damn, you're just...wow"
Your smirk only continues to plaster over you face as you take your underwear off, leaving you completely bare to him. He couldn't take his eyes off you, his eyes traveled up and down your body, taking in every inch of your naked form.
"You're absolutely perfect, sweetheart. You're so goddamn beautiful"
"Kiss me" You whisper, interrupting his rambles. Steve heard your whispered request and immediately he leaned down so he was level with you. He placed his hands on your hips and pulled you against him, and pressed forward pressing his lips to yours. His lips explored your mouth hungrily, his tongue parting your lips and sliding against yours as he kissed you.
You sighed happily into the kiss, smiling against his lips, your naked bodies pressed together whilst you snaked your hands up from his shoulders into his luscious blonde hair. He let out a quiet moan into your mouth, he let his hands wander your body, exploring every inch and curve of your skin as he continued to kiss you with fervor.
"God, I can't take it...need you" You mumbled against his lips.
"I need you too, sweetheart. I need you so damn badly"
You moved your hands from his hair down to his hips, holding him as you walked backwards, guiding him to follow you, when the back of your legs hit the bed, you fell down onto it, smirking up at him. Steve followed you, hovering his body over yours. His lips move onto your body, whilst his hands held onto your hips as his lips worshiped you.
He continued to trail kisses down your body, his lips moved over your skin so delicately, exploring and worshiping every inch of you. He took his time, wanting to make sure you savored the sensation, letting his hands also roam across your body, caressing and touching you in all the right places.
"Mmmm Steve...oh...that's so nice"
He carried on kissing you and touching you, listening closely to every small noise and whimper you would let out. He paused for a moment to look up at you, a smirk on his face.
"You that that, sweetheart? Like my hands on you, my mouth on you?"
"So much" You whimper quietly as you look down at him.
He smiled as you answered him, obviously enjoying the effect he was having on you, the way you were responding to him, the way you were reacting to his touch. He continued to kiss and gently suck at the skin of your breasts, as one hand moved to touch your nipple, playing with it in between his fingertips.
"You're so beautiful, you know that? So goddamn beautiful..." He mumbled against your skin.
"Steve, I need you...need more" You begged, your senses were overwhelmed with a need for him. You shivered as he moved one hand down your body, his fingertips trailing against your skin as he moved, his eyes were still locked on yours as he mouths your skin, his fingers moved down in between your legs finally touching you were you needed it most.
He expertly moved his fingers in between your wet folds, dragging your wetness from your hole up to your clit, he slowly circled two fingers over your clit as his lips moved up to your collarbone, sucking a small mark into your skin. You moaned loudly, moving your hands to grip his arms as you spread your legs further for him.
Steve knew exactly where you needed him to touch, and he was more than happy to provide it. He moved two fingers away from your clit, and you were ready to whine at the lost of contact, but he soon made up for it by pressing those two fingers inside of your wet hole, you gripped his arms tighter feeling your body shudder slightly at the new feeling, his fingers were thick, and felt amazing within you. You grind your hips against his fingers slightly, only grinding harder as his thumb pressed against your clit, the little bundle of nerves shooting electric throughout your body.
"Oh...wow...Steve...jeez, you're good with your fingers" You moan out in a whisper.
He chuckled, his lips still on the skin of your chest, he smirked, obviously feeling a bit proud of his skills with his fingers.
"You like that, huh? Like how I'm making you feel with my fingers?"
"Yesss!" You whined as he pumped his fingers faster into you. His fingers didn't slow as he kissed lower, his lips trailing down your torso and down past your stomach. He continued to kiss you, moving his mouth lower and lower, his goal becoming more and more clear as he approached where his thumb was.
"Oh! Yes! Steve!" You whined loudly, feeling your body close to it's edge. You body shuddered hard as his mouth replaced his thumb against your clit, he sucked hard and kept his fingers moving at a fast pace, you body shook as he brought you to your finishing point, you came hard around his fingers and over his face, he didn't slow his movements, moaning softly against your wet skin as you grind against him. Your body shook in the aftermath of your pleasure, your legs closing around him.
Steve looked up and smirked, his free hand moved to hold down your leg, making sure you kept them spread. You body trembled against him, you were still shaking slightly.
"Don't close those legs, sweetheart. I'm not done with you yet"
"Fuck, I hope not"
He chuckled again, moving his lips back to your clit, he licked down towards his fingers, opening them slightly to slide his tongue inside of you, alongside his fingers. You moaned loudly, moving one of your hands to his hair, holding his head for support whilst your other arm flew to rest over your eyes, your mouth was wide open, strings of loud whimpers and moans never faulting as they left your lips.
"Oh, don't worry, sweetheart. I'm nowhere near finished with you. I plan on taking my time with you" He says, his lips moving against your hole as his fingers move slowly inside and out, his tongue darting out every few words as he spoke, tasting your hole.
"God...I'm yours" You whisper as your body shivers with excitement. You had forgotten about that loser of a guy from earlier in the evening.
"Damn right you are. You're mine sweetheart. All mine" He spoke quietly, his eyes shut as he dives back in, his fingers began moving again at a past which made you feel dizzy. His mouth was over your clit as he sucked and licked, moaning as he tasted you.
"Steve....oh...oh...oh my god" You moaned, becoming a moaning mess underneath him. You were shaking with pleasure as he made you come again, and again. You had a daze of happiness washing over you body as he crawled back up to you, he smirked and brought his lips down to yours, moving his wet lips against yours, you tasted yourself on him, not caring one bit. He moved one hand to cup your cheek, holding you so softly it made you feel fuzzy inside. You moved your hands to the back of his neck, holding him against you as you kissed.
As you kissed Steve's hips rutted gently against your hip, his hard cock leaving a wet stripe of precum over your leg, you smiled into the kiss causing him to pull away and cock his head at you.
"What's so funny?" He asks.
"Nothing...What's...uhh your favourite position?" You asked, feeling a little bashful at the question, but after what he did to your body, you felt like he deserved his favourite position.
"You really wanna know?" He asks, his cheeks flushing red slightly.
"Please?"
"Well, my favourite position is usually missionary. Just being able to look at your face and see your eyes whilst I'm on top of you..." He said, almost bashfully.
"Oh Steve, you sweetheart" You say, a soft giggle on your lips.
Steve felt a smile on his face, he was so damn attracted to you.
"What? Seeing your face as I'm on top of you watching your eyes as they close and your expression changes...it's quite a sight" He explains.
"Well then, why don't we make it a reality" You say softly.
"I was hoping you'd say that, sweetheart" He chuckles, moving slightly so he hovered over your body completely, his arms rested by the sides of your face and his cock trapped in between your stomachs. You moved your legs slightly, spreading them so he had space to slot in between them. Steve positioned himself a little, his eyes were all over your body, taking in your form as he moved a hand down to his cock, taking himself he lined himself up to your hole.
He didn't push in yet, choosing to drag the head of his cock up and down your wet pussy a few times, causing you both to moan softly, he moved down to press his lips to yours, kissing you softly, almost savoring the touch and taste of your lips on his as he slowly pushed his cock inside of you. You'd be lying if you said it didn't hurt. It wasn't an awful pain, it was one you almost welcomed, the slight twinge of pain adding to your pleasure.
"You okay, sweetheart?" He asks, his lips still on your as he spoke, neither of your eyes opened anymore.
"So good, keep going" You answer, your legs were pressed to his hips, holding onto him as he finally pushed his entire hard cock inside of you. You had never felt so full, but feeling his entire length was beyond amazing, he was thick, thick enough that you could feel the veins of his cock against the walls of your pussy. You clenched around him a few times, causing him to groan loudly as he kissed you, you used the moment of his groan to slide your tongue into his mouth, losing yourself into him. You nodded slightly, hoping he'd know what you had meant. You needed him to move, needed him to pound into you like there was no tomorrow.
Steve understood your meaning, his lips stopped moving against yours slightly as he concentrated on moving his hips, he slowly dragged himself out of you, leaving just the tip, the feeling alone causing him to feel close to his edge, he then moved his cock fully back into you, a few times, just to make sure you were both completely covered in wetness. Your hands were on his shoulders, nails digging slightly into his skin as his hips began moving. Slowly at first, but soon he picked up the pace.
Steve's lips moved away from yours, kissing had been forgotten regardless, you both held your open mouths together, swallowing one another's moans rather than kiss. His lips moved to your neck, resting there as he slammed his hips into yours. The only noises in the room are those of both your moans and the loud slapping of his hips against yours.
"Steve...m'close" You whine, your legs beginning to shake. Steve, who was sucking yet another mark into your skin moved one hand in between your bodies, moving it down so he could press to fingers to your clit, he messily moved against the bundle of nerves, helping to push you over the edge.
You moaned loudly, gripping onto his shoulders as the pleasure ripped through you body, even with closed eyes your vision went fuzzy and spotted with black dots, you giggled softly as you came down from the high, Steve had slowed his thrusts, his face lifted to look at you, a large smirk on his lips.
"You good, sweetheart?"
"So good" You say with a light giggle, feeling over the moon with pleasure, your legs went slack against the bed, they jolted slightly with every thrust of Steve's cock. Steve's thrusts started becoming faster, his fingers no longer on your clit, which you were thankful for, feeling close to overstimulating, both of his large hands were on you hips as he held you tightly, his fingers leaving little imprints on your skin as he used your hips to thrust into you harder. Your hands were lazily on his shoulders, you moved them over his chest, feeling his muscles in your post haze state.
"Come Stevie, come inside of me" You whisper, your voice trailing off slightly into another moan, his cock still stretching you perfectly.
"Are...Are you sure, sweetheart?" He asks, his hips slamming into you messily.
"Yes, wanna feel you" You whispered, clenching your pussy against him.
"Fu..fuck" He groaned, you giggled slightly at hearing Captain America swear, you clenched your pussy again as he thrusted into you, his movements becoming messy and sloppy as he became closer to his edge. "Gon...gonna come...fuck!" He moaned loudly, slamming his hips into you once more, letting your pussy cover his cock completely as he buries himself into you, spilling his seed deep within you, he drops his head down to your chest, his sweaty forehead connecting with the skin in between your breasts. You move your hands to his hair, holding him as he lays there, obviously catching his breath.
"Wow" You whispered.
"Yeah, wow" He replied, his voice quiet as he pressed a kiss to your skin.
After a few moments, Steve slowly removed himself from you, both of you wincing from the overstimulation, he then leaves the bedroom, only emerging from the bathroom when he had a wet flannel in hand. Steve smiled sweetly down to you as he washed your lower body of his seed, he kissed along your lower stomach as he did so.
"You did so good" He whispers.
"I did?" You ask, smirking down at him.
"So good, I'm glad you liked my idea" He grinned, it took you a moment to realise what idea he was talking about, suddenly remembering the real reason this had happened between you both.
"Yeah, well I think I'll be coming to you from now on, rather than a useless guy my own age" You answer with a smirk.
"Good, because I meant it when I said you were mine" He answers, moving forward to kiss your lips.
And finally you ended the night how you had wanted, in the arms of a man who knew how to make you feel good. And the fact that it was Steve's arms you were in, well that was just a bonus.
(I do not consent my works to be posted anywhere else, by anyone other than myself.)
#fluff#steve rogers x you#captain america x reader#steve rogers smut#captain america smut#captain america x you#steve rogers fanfiction#steve rogers x reader#captain america fanfiction#marvel smut#marvel x reader#marvel fanfiction#marvel fic#mcu x reader
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Glitch
Just silly thought about my man. I actually enjoyed writing this one, hope you will have fun reading too. Inspired by T. S song Glitch. Friends to idiots to lovers (because I'm a sucker for this trope huehue)
--
When you meet the wit's ends of your mind, everything just feels blank and numb. When the most gruelsome scene are presented infront of you, no matter how you tried to move how your mind shouts run! Run! Run! But your body stays... and stays no matter how your whole system stays watching like there's some glitch.
"Run, y/n!" You heard your mom shouted before you felt her blood splashed on you. You never saw what happened, you just felt it. A hand covering your eyes, like trying to protect you from from image on how your parents died.
--
"Hello. Y/n, right?" The woman and a man sat infront of you, smiling brightly as if nothing gruesome happened just minutes ago.
The dark seems peaceful, the moon made a vast illumination. This countryside was peaceful, just cicada noises can be heard during the summer and cool breeze in the fall but not tonight.
You nod at them, their smile is bright and warm and your confused for a five-years old to understand how can that smile show.
They look young and old at the same time, the man messed your hair and genuinely smiled this time.
"You can cry." That feels like a trigger for you, how everything flashed back, how your parents struggled to protect you but failed. You cry on them, trying to find shelter and they let you.
After calming you, they looked at you. You think they're trying to communicate.
"Do you want to go with us?"
--
That's how your sorcerer journey started, for a young little miss at five you couldn't quite understand what this all mean but as time goes by this world is far different from how you used to be.
They trained you, from a normal person to someone who can imbue curse energy. You live your life as if your part of them since the beginning like you were born for this world.
--
Sitting alone in the corner of your classroom near the window, just sightseeing, your actually waiting for everyone. First day of high school and your alone in this big room.
Not when the door fly open, you crunched your nose watching who it might be.
"What?! No teacher?!" Before he can enter the room he just shouted. You just watch him curiously, who is this boy?
Tall, white hair with glasses on? He entered the room alone now noticing you from the far end of the room, your face immediately heat up when he caught you watching him.
He looks like an angel. Minus the mouth.
He's alone. You're alone. You're both alone in this big room.
"Yo, whatcha doin'?" He occasionally asked you, sitting next to the chair beside you.
"Nothing, actually." You closed your notebook, it's just scribbles because you're bored.
You looked at him, he got blue eyes!! Pretty blue eyes!!!
"Guess they're not coming, huh?" Is he trying to have conversation? For a quiet and reserved person like you its hard to come up with a good conversation but you think not with him.
"I guess so. It's first day."
"Why did you go still?" His voice is teasing. "Are you grade conscious or somethin'?"
"No!" Yes. Yes, you are. He laugh at your defensive reaction, he knew better. He's laugh is beautiful you noticed.
"And why you're still here too?" You diverted the attention.
" 'm just bored." Okay. Fair. So, you just nod.
You two shared silence, awkward silence. He's watching you which makes this all awkward.
"I'm Satoru Gojou. The great one."
You laugh at what he said. How can someone introduce like that?
"Hi, Satoru Gojou the great one. I'm y/n. The nothing. "
You know Satoru Gojou, of course but this is the first time you've seen him, you've pictured him out someone like arrogant and not like this.
"You know me, right?" You crunched your forehead and nod.
"Heard your name before." That's true though, you are busy in far corner of Japan to know every person.
"Right, want to grab some food?"
--
Your thoughts were cut off when Shoko patted your head and head out together with Suguru. They have some important mission to do.
Was that for sympathy? Suguru just messed with your hair.
"He'll grow up and don't wait for him." You wanted to pout at what he said, you know what he meant.
"What? I don't like him." You said as you removed his hand on you. It's nit like you proclaim something for them to say that.
"Suguru never said a name." Shoko chimed in and they snicker at you. You shoo them away, these two is your death every time. They're like your ticking bomb whenever Satoru is there watching your every reaction.
It's your second year, everything is going smooth. But, not your heart it's been beating abnormally, arrythmia? Heart disease? But Shoko called Satoru-rythmia, because it only occurs when Satoru's around.
You watched him from a far talking with girls on the school grounds, you squint your eyes all giggling you throw a disgusting look at them.
You kicked his ankle when your at his back. And he immediately turned around to looked at who is this someone behind him.
"Our training." You just said and left him there.
"Sorry, Y/n time!!" You heard him and you can hear him run towards you.
He's been like that, you assumedly thought you're special at some point but you're just really deluded maybe because from watching too much dramas or reading books. He's just like that for everyone. Accomodating. Friendly. And warm.
He lunge at your back when your guard is down, you shriek when you felled on your shoes because he's heavy.
"Satoru!" You both fell on the grass ground, Satoru hugging you while laughing at your demise. You sit beside his waist and slap his arm but his just laughing.
You stared at him, he's laughing blissfully. Hair was away from his forehead, some were on the ground. Is his hair soft? It looked so soft specially when he messed it up when he thinks deeply. He looked like a real angel this close.
Oh, there it is again.
Satoru-rythmia.
--
Happy crush? This was supposed to be just a happy crush for you. Satoru's oh Satoru Gojou what are you doing with me?
Sitting alone on the stair in the field just thinking deeply, this summer afternoon is kinda dragging the school's been busy with the Kyoto's School visit and you don't want to deal with them. You train yourself, Satoru's been mostly your aid but he's not around and you don't try to contact him so you can sort your feelings out.
Happy crush. Yeah. That is all.
Satoru's not the boyfriend type but if he tries you think he will be a great one. Caring, thoughtful and super sweet yet you can picture him to be so clingy not that you mind- you covered your face with your palms.
"No, no, no!" He's your bestfriend, what's wrong with you?
You jump off your seat trying to make a defensive stance when a cold thing touch your head.
"Scaredy-Peanut!!" Satoru laugh at you and removed the bag full of...ice cream? on your head.
"What is your problem?!" You glared at his tall figure standing beside you.
"Hmm...I should ask you that." He said sitting beside you. "What is your problem, y/n?" Your eyes meet, oh those beautiful blue eyes, your the first one to look away.
"Nothing for you to be concerned of... can I have ice cream?" You unashamedly ask. You stares at you before lifting the bag away.
"No."
"You're greedy, you know that?"
"Yes." He chuckled.
You watched him, he looks happy right now like something happened without you even knowing. He's not wearing any glasses, which concerns you.
"Toru, your eyes." You immediately covered it with your hands. There are many people in the school right now because kyoto people are here and the summer sun is shinning brightly that might strain him.
He's so close and you felt your heart coming out its ribcage.
"Hey... it's okay, I can handle it better." The concerned look you gave him just made you worry more. He hold your wrist to remove your hands on his eyes.
"You sure?" You looked at him genuinely and he nod. You sag your shoulders in relief. And he messed with you hair.
"Yes, maam." He said jokingly. You pushed his shoulder and make face.
"Don't barged in my room when your head's aching." You made a hmp reaction and tear your gaze away from him.
"Here's your ice cream because I made my fave person in the world worry."
--
End of second year was when you go mission together without your teacher's supervision. There are just nights that are pure strolling and sightseeing.
Staring at the starry night of Kyoto, you and Satoru stand above the tallest building in the city, leaning on the railing you looked to watched the bustling city.
"This is beautiful, huh" you said while drinking you canned latte.
"Yeah, thank me y/n" you just shrug him off. Satoru's really the strongest and became more. You saw how he fought curses and it amazed you the first time. And his showing off everytime would boast about how great he is.
But, he's dreadfully quiet right now so you moved closer to touch his arm with you. Although your heart is not helping you but you think he had some problems.
"You okay?" You asked when the silence dragged between both of you. This is unusual, you're both loud when you're together and... chaotic that it sometimes pissed of Shoko and Suguru they don't know what possessed you to be influenced by Satoru.
You looked him watching the city before he looked at you.
"Have... you ever kissed someone?" You blink once. Twice. Thrice. Before you snapped in your periphery.
"No." Your face warmed, hearts beating loudly. You laughed it out, you want to curse how your heart just doubled its pace more the abnormal one. "Why would you ask that? That's rude."
"We're friends, you know? It's not that rude. Well, I got mine."
"What?" You crunched your forehead on what he said. What he got? Trying to look at him in puzzle.
Satoru looked at you. You heard it, you know you heard it but your brain can't process it quickly.
"Uh... kiss? You remembered that girl from Kyoto?" Well, I am from Kyoto too. But not the downtown though. You want to say it, but settled for crumpling your skirt and looking away. You bit your lower lip trying not to cry infront of him.
"Y-you have a girlfriend now?" That's childish of you. Focus on the city or the stars, you can't cry infront of him.
"Nah doubt it, I just want the fun."
You're quiet. Satoru tried looking into your eyes but you refused to looked at him.
So, this is how it felt to be heart broken is it? You thought it will be loud, but yours is silent. Maybe, silence hides the loudest scream.
"Right. I'll just pee. I'll be back." You walked out without waiting for his response.
--
After that night, you tried hiding from him or whenever his around you go home you just tried everything to get away from him. It's a long 3 months for you and it's pointless because he is very persistent and annoying about it.
"Okay. Next mission, Gojou and y/n." You crossed your arm on your chest hearing what Yaga-sensei announced, you just looked infront not bothering to glance at your seatmate.
"Yes, Satoru?" Yaga-sensei said.
"Y/n don't want to be with me, sensei!" Satoru shouted and you heard Shoko and Suguru scoffed trying not to laugh. You glared at him and he just smiled widely at you with a raised hand.
"Is there a problem, y/n?" You closed your eyes and calmed your nerves.
"No."
"Did I do something wrong?" He's been following you like a dog all day and a broken record asking the same question. And he's been doing this in those months if his not away for a mission and it's so exhausting.
This is hard you think because he did not do something wrong, it's not his fault to not like you right? And as if you confessed? Not in a millionth time. It's not his responsibility to cradle your broken heart.
You're both walking in an empty path way in the school you're trying to get away from him again.
It's serene if Satoru's not loud. Autumn's coming, you walked on a blanket of falling leaves crisp and pretty.
Maybe, it's your fault for liking him in the first place and treating this way is just a evidence of how awful you are as a person and a friend.
You stop walking and face him. Satoru halted on your sudden pause. Just feet away. You want to memorize his face, his features, the way his hair sway when the wind gently blew it or how his smile can brighten up your any dull day. You want to memorize it all before you can make your resolve. You want to memorize everything that makes you feel this way towards him.
You close your eyes. And gently open it again and you met his beautiful ones.
"Satoru... Satoru Gojou, " you whispered like a prayer. He's name is divine on your lips. "I-I'll be back somehow just give me time, okay? And you did not do something wrong so don't worry." Your heart is aching, it's breaking you can feel it. You smiled at him and turned away as your tears fall as you walked away at him.
5 months after you finally convinced yourself that having feelings for Satoru is useless. And just be back to be his best friend.
--
Final year of high school when he's suddenly calling you glitch. It confuses you at first but you let him be because that's how he usually is calling you with different names everyday but this time its just consistent. And its bothering you somehow.
"Why are you calling me glitch, toru?" You ask after munching a spoon of pudding, you're just chilling in your favourite pastry shop along the secluded street of Tokyo, it was an innocent question.
"Hmm?" You watched him changed from one dessert to another, definitely so busy. "Because you're my lil glitch." He said without watching you because again he is busy.
You just frowned at him but never bother to push the topic further.
You think you have been successful on your resolve so far half a year have passed. Almost graduating. Satoru's been the same annoying and all.
"Is that delicious?" He stop your train of thoughts md pointed at your pudding. You pulled the pudding closer to you and looked at him accusingly.
"Yes."
"Gimme a bite."
"No."
"Please, my glitch y/n." There he go again.
"I want that cookie too." You pointed at the red velvet cookie.
"Just a bite?" You nod and he nod. And you feed him and exhanged your food.
--
You frowned when you received an email saying that you were called by the higher ups. Your hands were cold, looking at those elders are scary. What more opening the door in the chambers.
You crunched your head after that meeting are they threatening you?
"You know we can just ditch you if we want, right? In the first place you did not belong in this world."
You're helping Satoru in his pursuit of change and that threaten the higher ups and now they're digging your past and using it against you.
"My glitch!" You just walk not bothering to looked at Satoru, just thinking deeply.
You know what they mean, they can remove your privelege to be sorcerer but the fact that they said you did belong is quite a harsh comment.
Is that what a glitch mean?
You stop on your tracks and you faced Satoru. Who is smiling infront of you.
"Is that why you call me glitch?" You voice is accusatory which made Satoru's stance defensive. You scowled at him, unshed tears on your eyes.
You knew well he did not like you, but to make you feel unwanted is a different kind of hurt.
You held your feelings well enough, you hide it earnestly but being trashed out by someone you love is just piercing through your heart he can just say he don't want you, right?
"What? Hey, y/n..."
"Not now, Gojo. I'm tired."
You don't have time for funny business any time you'll be trumped by the higher ups. It's been months since that incident happen and you're not talking to Satoru ever since. You've been both busy to mind anything, he will just looked at you pleadingly and you will looked away. This has been your routine after Satoru asked you what's wrong that day. It's tiring and it's hard watching Satoru's beautiful eyes lost it's glimmer.
Satoru gave you time. Spring came and graduation day is coming. Have he done anything to upset you? He's been bugging Suguru and Shoko but both don't know either.
You were talking to one of your colleague, the one who accompanied you in one of the mission in far away tokyo, he's here to pick up tools that they might need for mission in care of Yaga. Tomorrow's graduation so your both excited talking about it.
You're both walking on the cherry blossoms carpeted pathways of Jujutsu Tech. Everything is just painted with colors of cherry blossom. The cold breeze with some petals with it is just beautiful.
"Y/n!"
You halted on your walk and looked at the man at your back. Your laugh stop and you scowled at him immediately. What now?
"Hey, you can just y straight up walk there and that's Yaga-sensei's office." You waved goodbye at Kyohei.
After Kyohei disappeared, you face Satoru once again with disinterest.
"What?" You asked when his nearing you.
"Who's that?" He asked seriously. You want to pinch his side when you noticed how his eyes is uncovered.
"Yaga-sensei's guest." You said dismissively, he stared at you. His eyes are just so pretty. You crunched your forehead. You can't just let this happen again and again.
"You can't just walk with bare eyes." You said nonchalantly and walk out. You crossed your hands on your chest walking back to your dorm room. And just hide for the rest of the day.
"There's someone I need to put out my bandages on but been hiding from me." Satoru said now walking beside you. You stop and scowl at him and noticed his wearing his very dark shade right now. You just hmp! Him and walk again.
"Maybe, she's angry again or something?" He just kept on rambling and you just make face everytime. You don't know but the walk way towards the dorms seems to stretch more. It feels so long and distant. The more you walk stepping the sakura petals makes your heart flutter more.
"I kind of missed her, by the way." You can feel the smile on his face. And your heart ache, it's like he meant it in a romantic way. But you know he just missed her bestfriend.
"It's been months how can she endure not to talk to me for that long, huh? I can't even sleep properly when she's away fighting curses? Bet, she's happy being away from me." His monologue continue.
You stop your tracks, what does he meant by that? You've been miserable all of those times! And he stopped too. You side eyed him but shrugged him off.
"I don't even know what I did wrong, did I? And I might be out for a long time and still she's not talking. I might be gone tomorrow and-"
You completely stop walking to face him. He is smiling, that annoying smile, that annoying eyes, that annoying face! You scowled at him.
"What did you say?" He raised a brow feeling triumphant that he finally got your attention.
"I might be away?"
"Yes. What was that?" You inquired curiously. You did not know that!
"Secret Mission." You just raised a brow at him. Okay. That's completely out of you. Sometimes, Satoru or most of the time Satoru is given highly confidential missions and you don't pry any further, that's just how he is.
"How long?"
"A month." You just nod and walk back. You heard Satoru sighed after a while.
"and you don't still talk to me? I don't want any more distance with us." He grabbed you by your hand. You just looked at him. "You can't be unfair to me, I don't even know what I did wrong or the last one. At least talk to me, I can't be on the shade forever." He said pleading.
"I'm a glitch. How can you be so invested with a glitch." You watch how his face contorts in confusion.
"What?"
"Is that it Gojo? I am a glitch in this world, right?" He knew everything about your background how can he used it against you?
"What are you saying, y/n?"
"I'm a glitch in the system, right? I don't belong here, everyone think I don't belong here." Your angry tears are making you blur your vision. "You called me a glitch like that old man said in the meeting! You can just trash me out-"
But, Satoru laugh and you just cried more. What is his problem? Insulting you with his laugh.
He suddenly pulled you in a hug that stiffened you. You held you breath.
"You are so mean!" You slap his chest and cried more.
" 'm sorry!" He encircled you with his arms for a hug.
Placing both hands on your shoulder when you calmed down. He watched you sniffing. And smiled fondly of you. Using his thumbs to wipe your tears away.
"Your smart brain is really playing with you. Don't you think?" You scowled with unshed tears.
"You know why you're my glitch?" You pouted what is this all about now?
"Gojou, I'm not fond of your funny business right now."
"Please, ask me!"
You sighed. Defeated. Tired.
"Why?"
"Because, you are a glitch in my system." You frowned. "It was supposed to be just a happy crush y/n, what are you doing to me?"
He whispered the last sentences that your heart beat rapidly. There is it again. Satoru-rythmia. It's back. Eyes wide looking at him. Realizing everything.
He pulled you again for a hug. Soothing. Healing. He whispered softly.
"Yes, that's what it mean, love. So, you're a glitch y/n. My glitch."
#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojou#jujutsu kaisen gojo#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#gojo satoru#gojo angst#gojo fluff#gojo x reader#gojo x you
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ᡣ𐭩 Emails I Can't Send Prompts ᡣ𐭩
from the album Emails I Can't Send, by Sabrina Carpenter
"And I still make excuses for you constantly."
"Sorry that I pulled the 'it's not you, it's me.'"
"You're not my friend, and baby, you never were."
"It's times like these I wish I had a time machine."
"Whatever, you're a waste of time."
“Oh, so you do have a type."
"Where else can we go?"
"I hate the way you left me dry."
"Give me a second to forget I ever really meant it."
"Don't say sorry now."
"One day, I'll make sure you get a real apology."
"I tried to look for the best in the worst."
"Oh, so you can reply."
"I'm so tired."
"You want me? I'm done."
"I wonder how many things you think about before you get to me."
"You're lucky I'm a private person."
"I'm over that son of a bitch."
"Don't make me cuss you out."
"You're so vicious."
"Nobody gets my jokes, everyone here thinks I'm fucking rude."
"Why were you somewhere else when you were next to me?"
"I can't help it, it's a habit."
"You act like a bitch."
"I never saw him and we never kissed."
"There's nothing left here to decode."
"Were you lying to me and the family?"
"If you wanted brown eyes, I could have got contacts."
"You don't feel remorse."
"That never made too much sense to me."
"I can't read your mind."
"Why'd you let me down?"
"You knew I would see that."
"Looking at you got me thinking nonsense."
"Bet you wanna love me now."
"How do you do this to me?"
"Tell me what's gonna happen."
"You knew I would notice."
"I'll drive you home."
"I don't even know, I'm talking nonsense."
"I want you there sometimes."
"She looks nothing like me."
"Your signals are mixed."
"Everything reminds me of you."
"I know you know it keeps me up."
"You drive me crazy."
"Chase me."
"Did you even give a fuck?"
"You disgust me."
"Now I'm a homewrecker. I'm a slut."
"Tell me I was more than just a decent opportunity."
"Why do you look so happy?"
"I'm so sorry for your loss."
"Thanks to you, I can't love right."
"I know now even if I tried to change that somehow, you'd end up with her anyway."
"You fit every stereotype."
"Does she step out of the spotlight so you bathe in it?"
"Now I can't even look at you."
"You said I'm too late to be your first love, but I'll always be your favorite."
"I know what you're about to say."
"Does she get up on top of you more than I would?"
"He had it coming."
"I deserve my own consideration."
"I look up from my phone and think there's no chance it's you, but it is."
"He's good for my heart, but he's bad for business."
"I've got death threats filling up semi trucks."
"How am I supposed to close the door when I still need the closure?"
"All my friends think I've gone crazy."
"I care, but I don't."
"Please fucking fix this."
"Tell me that you miss me in your life."
"It feels so good not caring where you are tonight."
"You were all I looked up to."
"Was I being lied to?"
"I got ways to find you anywhere."
"You miss me? No duh."
"Maybe we should do this on purpose sometime."
"It was all so innocent."
"What the fuck is patience?"
"I can't even stomach loving someone else."
"God, I love you, but you're such a dipshit."
"You're good at impersonating someone who cares."
"I bet your house is where my other sock is."
#feel free to change the pronouns!#sabrina carpenter#emails i can't send#song prompts#lyric prompts#love prompts#breakup prompts#angst prompts
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fragile ft. fushiguro megumi
pairing: f.megumi x female reader genre: angst/fluff word count: 6,1k synopsis: in a slow, fragile basis of the beginning of your relationship, life with megumi has been nothing but ordinary. and in between drunken confessions, he finds out how you feel destined to be an afterthought, and how much he loves you pains him to see you like that. warnings: college!au, mentions of cheating and self-deprecation, drinking. angst with a tiny bit of comfort. might be ooc idk idc.
if you had to describe your current status with megumi in one word, you'd probably have an internal battle about how to define it.
you wouldn't call it weak because even if you had been officially together for nearly four months now, the way your bond and mutual understanding were getting dangerously stronger every day, you swore you could've trusted your life on megumi the moment you crossed paths with him. it was eager and hot-blooded, and you were unsure about what would be next, but you sure wanted it to be with him and him only.
you also wouldn't exactly call it delicate because the intensity of whatever process you two were crossing now—hands intertwined, still learning about each other—made it a sweet type of harsh and a soft type of powerful, just like the desire to get to know him even more and melt into him.
and if it really had to be one word only, you'd stick with fragile. fragile, because you were still visited by ghosts of past wounds and you knew it was the same for megumi. fragile, because you knew well he had his own trammels and issues, and while you loved that part of him as well, what if love wasn't enough for him to let you in? fragile, because a part of you still found it impossible to believe he could actually fall for you the way he swore he had.
you were at your apartment bathroom, putting on your makeup and finishing the last touches, checking up if anything was missing. suddenly, the little visit that came over a couple of hours ago before you'd go out with your friends knocked briefly on the open door to poke his head inside.
"i was thinking, and maybe... i thought i'd like to accompany you this time". megumi peeped at himself in the bathroom mirror, adjusting a stray of his hair to keep it in place. he was dressed up and hair combed, looking all pretty for you.
you turned your head to look directly at him with undeniable joy and surprise. "there's no way".
"seriously. i'm dead serious". he stared right at you, appreciating your look with amused eyes. you took a step closer to analyze his expression and confirm this was indeed, not a joke.
"who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend"
"but it's me!", he responded with an offended chuckle. "unless you don't want me to go with you, which i'd understand-"
"for god's sake megumi, i'm literally so happy right now you wouldn't understand!", you chanted before jumping into his embrace and smelling his perfume.
he sappily smiled from ear to ear with his eyes shuttled, internally awarding himself for making you happy. oh, how he loved seeing you like that.
now it was a lively evening, filled with laughter, chatter, and the faint buzz of music pulsing through the bar's walls. megumi hadn’t been one to attend many of your mutual friends’ meetings, but tonight, it was almost as if he felt the urge to be part of the crowd, if only for your sake. he knew you'd usually thrive in social situations, smile lighting up the room, and easy laughter filling every empty space with a warmth that seemed to draw people in. and since he, for once in his life, decided to go out with you by his side, tonight you were in your element considering it'd probably wouldn't happen again anytime soon.
by the time the middle of the night was reached, you were starting to get visibly tipsy, your cheeks flushed from the alcohol, and your movements just a little looser and carefree. your partner stayed by your side, engaging in conversation occasionally and offering a sense of security through the place with magnetic energy, keeping you in his orbit. he had poured himself a single drink earlier in the evening—just enough to take the edge off the social setting, but nothing that would leave him out of control. the truth was, tonight he preferred to keep his mind sharp and stay observant, especially at a gathering like this. a part of him knew he had to take care of you, and the other one simply wanted to remember this night out with detail. he held a glass in his hand, nursing it while watching over you, with a drunk itadori blabber-mouthing into his ear. he didn't need more than this.
however, as the night went on, megumi found himself a little on edge. you'd already laughed so hard at some brain-rotted thing toge was talking about, nearly dropping off your glass on the table, only to grab your boyfriend's arm dramatically like he was your lifeline.
“megumiii”, you whispered as loud as you could. “did you hear that one? i think it was the funniest shit ever. i mean, ever.”
“you’re at your limit” he muttered back with a concerned, but amused tone. you scrunched your nose and shook your head with a pout, not paying much attention to what he was saying.
“i’m fine,” you insisted, holding up a finger and pushing it into your chest with such determination that you swore he almost believed it (he clearly didn't). “totally…totally fine”.
he chuckled at your motions, and eventually, sensing you might need a break, your boyfriend gently nudged you and spoke to your ear.
“you know... i'm done with the chill guy jokes now. how about some fresh air?”
you stared at him for a second. "you're seriously so boring", you said with a delighted tone before standing up and grabbing his arm to pull him into you and bring him to the stairs at the corner of the bar.
you waved back at the table with a muttered "we'll be right back", and once you reached the stairs, step by step, he pulled a hand to put a firm hold on your waist to prevent you from falling down, his lips wandering all over your arm giving little pecks wherever he could reach.
once on the second floor of the building, the terrace welcomed both of you with the cool night air, a reprieve from the warmth of the salon downstairs. you clung to megumi's arm, looking up at him with a sparkling, slightly hazy look, one he was starting to recognize as a tipsy declaration of love waiting to happen. you leaned against him, letting out a small, content sigh as he gazed at the streetlights and the stars above.
your eyes wandered for a while before finding a nice spot to spend the time: a balcony, away from the noise and chaos inside. you leaned your elbows on the railing, and while you were gazing out at the city lights, megumi looked at the way the wind tousled your hair, the faint smile on your lips as you swayed a little, and even seemed to notice your distant expression, guessing that you might have started to dissociate and were somewhere far away. he stood beside you, leaning slightly closer and letting the quiet of the night settle around him.
you began talking, idly at first. it didn't matter that much anyway, it wasn't like you would remember any of it tomorrow morning. you rambled about something silly you'd seen earlier that day, making him laugh, and then he would add something he remembered at the moment. both of your words were flowing like a stream with no filter, voices soft and warm.
you stood close together on the balcony, leaning against each other as you looked out at the skyline, your cheeks flushed from the drinks you’d had earlier. the night air was cool, the city below sprawling out like a carpet of lights. you two were alone now, away from the noise, and he found himself drawn into the conversation that had become strangely vulnerable, more layered than he’d expected.
somewhere in the middle of your ramblings, your voice dropped to a softer, almost reflective tone. you laughed, a hint of bitterness coloring the edges, and your gaze drifted down to your hands, fidgeting with a handmade bracelet you paired with megumi during one of your first dates.
"you look like you're thinking too much about something", he uttered while taking off his black leather jacket and gently covering your shoulders, sensing that the temperature was quite lower outside.
you jumped as you fell off of the trance you were in and gave him a tsk. "oh it's nothing".
"if you say it's nothing then it's something that's concerning you. we can talk". he was observing too much and that was making you nervous.
you paused a little before clearing up your throat. was it a good idea to talk about it? was it necessary? really necessary? and then, the drunken eagerness hit you. fuck it.
"do you think that... we're heading into a good pathway?
he took a while to try and formulate a proper answer, wanting as much clarity as possible to avoid triggering a tipsy you. "if you talk about us, about our relationship... i think we are heading into a good pathway. why?"
"sometimes i'm scared this might not work out no matter what"
"what do you mean?", he answered with a concerned look.
“not trying to yapp, but i'm not sure if i've ever told you this, yet…” you began, your voice slurring just slightly as you played again with the charm on your wrist, “sometimes i can't stop thinking about how i got fucking cheated on. it wasn’t a big deal, though,” you shrugged casually as if discussing something as trivial as a forgotten text message. sensing his disquiet look, you kept talking in an attempt to erase the tension. “stuff like that just happens, y'know? at least when you're not much to stick around for.”
your words fell into the silence, each one landing heavily, cutting through the quiet in a way that made megumi realize how his chest was now aching. it was the way you’d spoken so casually, so matter-of-factly, as if it were a universal truth you'd come to accept. although drunk, the way you didn’t even flinch as you spoke, your expression still relaxed, but there was an undercurrent of sadness in your words, something so deeply ingrained that you probably weren’t even aware of it.
“honestly,” you swore you tried to stop yourself from speaking, but there was this odd feeling of needing to spit it out under the excuse of intoxication, your voice low and soft as you now ran your fingers along the metal of the railing. “i should've seen it coming with him. he was… well, he wasn’t perfect, but he was my first boyfriend.” you let out a soft laugh, the kind that didn’t quite match your eyes. “i think i always knew he didn’t really want to be with me, at least not in the way i wanted him to.”
megumi tensed, his grip tightening slightly around the rail of the balcony. he’d never really heard you talk about this, about anyone before him, and he felt a pang of something unfamiliar—a mixture of protectiveness and a strange, almost possessive ache. he kept watching you, trying to read between the lines of the sadness beneath your casual tone, the hints of self-deprecation you tried so hard to hide behind some silly narrative.
you noticed the change in his expression and felt immediately guilty for ruining the vibes of the moment. "i'm sorry for-"
"you don't have to say sorry. you can... keep talking if you... feel safe".
the relaxation slowly filled your body as you freed your thoughts. “he was always looking somewhere else, y'know? it’s funny…” you trailed off before chuckling again after the realization hit, feeling it all absurd now. “i think he only dated me because he couldn’t have the girl he actually wanted.” you shrugged, your expression oddly resigned. “and i was fine with that. i mean, who was i to think i’d be someone’s first choice? so stupidly in love and available”.
megumi felt his heart clench again. he wanted to reach out, to shake you from this idea that you weren't enough, that you somehow deserved less because of who you were. he knew you somehow struggled with self-perception, but he hadn’t realized just how deep it went. and it hurt him to think that, somewhere along the way, you’d convinced yourself that you were unworthy of loyalty, that betrayal was something you simply had to accept.
“y/n…” he began softly, his voice barely audible over the hum of the city below them. he wanted to say something, anything that would shake you out of the spiral, to let his girl see herself the way he did. “you’re not—” he hesitated, unsure if his words could even reach you, especially with the tipsy haze softening the edges of your pain.
however, you didn’t seem to notice the interruption, your voice growing a little distant as you continued, your gaze fixed on some point in the distance. “i always knew, deep down. there was this... odd gut feeling all the time when he’d tell me not to worry, that i was enough… but you know, people can’t help what they feel.” you let out a small sigh, shaking your head as if amused by your own naivety. “i was always the backup plan, and that’s fine. i got used to it. people settle sometimes. but it didn't feel right. and now i feel it so right with you that it scares me to even think of it happening again”.
to hear his precious girlfriend saying those things about herself, so casually and yet so cuttingly, felt like a punch to his gut. megumi could feel his frustration building, not at you, but at the way you dismissed yourself as if you were something disposable, something that could be set aside. his mind raced with memories of your laughter, your intelligence, your cockiness, the way you lit up a room with your energy. how could you not see what he saw? how could you believe you were anything less than fucking exceptional?
he leaned in slightly, his hand reaching out to gently turn your face towards him, his gaze intense, searching his loved one's eyes for something—anything—that might indicate she understood how deeply he cared for her, how much he wished she could see her own worth. “i need you to understand that you weren’t a backup plan to him, and you’re definitely not one to me,” he said, his voice firm but soft, every word laced with sincerity. “i don’t know why he couldn’t see what he had… but i do. i do see you, y/n.”
you looked at him, your gaze softening slightly, and for a moment, he thought he’d gotten through to you. but then, you shrugged with that same dismissive smile tugging at your lips as if you couldn’t quite believe him. “thanks, gumi. but… it’s fine, really. it’s not a big deal. i’m over it, and i'm just drunk. you probably shouldn't take me seriously” you said, your voice light, brushing off his words as if they were just platitudes.
he frowned, feeling a growing frustration—not at you, but at this wall you’d built around yourself, this barrier that kept you from accepting the love he was trying to offer. “you shouldn’t talk about yourself like that,” he said, his voice was firmer now, a touch of impatience slipping through. “you don’t have to dismiss yourself. you don’t have to make yourself small just because someone else didn’t appreciate you.”
you blinked, taken aback by his tone, and for a moment, your guard slipped. but then again, you chuckled, brushing off his words with a playful smile, as if trying to lighten the mood. “megumi, you’re too serious sometimes,” you teased, reaching up to ruffle his dark hair, your expression warm but carrying a hint of something deeper, a sadness you still couldn’t quite shake away.
megumi looked back at you, his hand instinctively tightening around yours, and his voice came out low, steady, holding a softness that he rarely showed up until now. “i… actually thought you were funny the first time i saw you,” he murmured, his words tentative, as if hoping they might somehow shift your perspective, if only by a fraction. “and pretty, too,” he added, his eyes steady on you, willing for you to hear him. "really pretty".
you stood there, your gaze drifting up to meet his, and for a moment, you seemed to register the sincerity in his voice. but your smile wavered as if you couldn’t believe him. “you're tripping,” she laughed, waving it off, your voice light but carrying a trace of disbelief, as if his words were something foreign you couldn’t quite grasp.
“no no, i mean it,” he replied, his tone confident and his blue eyes unwavering. he took a small step closer, his hand reaching up to gently tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering there, brushing against your cheek. “i thought you were amazing from the start. and i still do.. and i probably ever will. there's so much more i still haven't discovered 'bout you, and it makes me wanna study you for the rest of my life”.
for a brief second, something flickered in your eyes—a vulnerability, maybe? a glimpse of the girl beneath the layers of defense you'd built. you looked at him, really looked at him, searching his face as if trying to find the truth in his words. nonetheless, as quickly as it appeared, the vulnerability faded, and you plastered on a smile, your walls snapping back up.
“thanks, gumi,” you said before leaning in to kiss his cheek, your tone light, almost playful, trying your drunken best to deflect the seriousness of the moment. “but really, it’s fine. i’m over it, i swear” you gave a small shrug, your voice tinged with a forced nonchalance that made his heart ache even more.
he let you laugh and deflect, but his mind was racing since he could understand the baggage you were trying so hard to release. all those scars left by past betrayals and insecurities hurt him more than he could ever put into words, especially because he came too late to prevent you from experiencing it. knowing that you weren't ready to confront those feelings, he didn’t push you any further, less in this state. instead, he simply stayed by your side, letting his presence speak for him, hoping that, over time, you’d begin to believe him. it really frustrated him, the way you downplayed your own worth, the way you brushed off your concerns as if they were something you simply had to endure. he knew you were stronger than you realized and also that you carried so much more beauty and light than you could ever see in yourself.
you stayed on the balcony a while longer, and though your expression remained casual, he could see the faintest hint of something deeper beneath your face, a shadow of the hurt you tried so hard to bury. he didn’t want to pry, didn’t want to push you beyond what you were willing to share, and decided to wait for you, so as you stood there, side by side, he silently vowed to show you, in every way he could, that you were worth more than the broken pieces you’d been led to believe you were.
when you finally made your way back inside, you sobered up, and your head rested on his shoulder as you walked. megumi wrapped an arm around you, holding you close as if to shield you from the doubts you carried. and though you might not remember much of your conversation come morning, he hoped that, on some level, you’d feel the weight of his words, that you would begin to see yourself through his eyes, if only just a little.
at that moment, megumi made a mental note to himself to keep reminding you of your worth and the love he held for you through every small gesture, every silent reassurance until the day he died. because even if he struggled to be expressive, you were worth every effort, every unspoken word, and every moment spent in quiet understanding.
the atmosphere shifted after your quiet conversation on the balcony, but your laughter was quick to fill the silence, your spirits as buoyant as ever as you headed back into the warm hum of the party. inside, the music now thumped louder, people clustered in lively groups, and the smell of smoke and drinks mingled in the air. once you saw the group again, you practically bounced back into the party with them, your arm linked with megumi's as you steered him toward with a radiant smile. you were joyfully unrestrained and had totally forgotten about what had you so petty a while ago, ringing out above the music as if your earlier words had been nothing more than a passing breeze.
megumi, however, found himself seeing you in a different mood, the weight of your confessions lingering at the back of his mind. he watched you as you laughed with your friends, your movements fluid yet slightly unsteady, your smile big and genuine. but he couldn’t shake the feeling in his chest; your words haunted him, your offhanded comments that told him more than you realized. you swayed closer to him now and then, your hand brushing his, and every time you looked up at him with that carefree grin, he felt the urge to lock you in a glass box and shield you from everything that had ever made you feel so small.
you suddenly grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the dance floor with a mischievous glint in your eyes. "come on! just one dance, please!" you pleaded, pouting just enough to make him sigh but follow willingly. it would be just for once, right? and how could he ignore his pretty girlfriend's contagious enthusiasm, her laughter spilling over as she twirled him around, not caring who was watching or how out of sync their movements were? megumi went along with you, a half-smile tugging at his lips as you spun and swayed, your arms stretching out wide like you were trying to embrace the whole world.
but beneath it all, he could see the vulnerability in you—how your laughter was a bit too loud, your smiles a bit too wide. every so often, your gaze would drift, your eyes unfocused for a fleeting second, and he knew you were miles away, lost in thoughts that were far from joyful. then, with a blink, you’d snap back, finding him again in the crowd, lighting up as if he were your anchor.
as the night wore on, both of your energies began to wane, your steps becoming even more unsteady, your phrases turning softer and a little slurred. megumi noticed the faint flush on your cheeks, the way you leaned into him more heavily with each passing moment, your body resting briefly on his as you cackled at something he didn’t quite catch.
“alright, i think we’ve had enough for one night,” he murmured gently, his voice barely audible over the music, though his words were more for himself than for you. after saying your goodbyes with everyone before they took their way home, he guided you towards the exit with one arm around your waist, trying his best to ignore the knowing glances from a few of your friends as they watched him support you. he could almost hear the teasing they’d throw at him the next day, but he didn’t care; all he wanted was to get you somewhere safe and quiet.
outside, the cool night air hit you, and you let out a content sigh, leaning your head against his shoulder with a soft smile. “you’re a good boyfriend, y’know that?” you murmured, your voice sleepy and muffled as you nuzzled closer to him. you giggled, clearly a little too tipsy and tired to remember half the things you’d said tonight, including your own heart-wrenching confessions. but you were blissfully unaware, your smile soft and genuine as you looked up at your boyfriend with half-lidded eyes.
megumi's heart twisted, and he gave a content sigh, gently brushing a loose strand of hair from your face. “yeah? and you’re a good girlfriend”, he replied softly, his voice barely more than a whisper. he wanted to say more, wanted to tell you that he saw everything you tried to hide, but also that you didn’t need to pretend with him. he ended up holding back, not wanting to burden you in this moment.
as you walked, you swayed slightly, humming a tune under your breath, your head lolling from side to side. you rambled on about the night, recounting funny moments and half-remembered jokes, your words slurring just enough that he had to focus to keep up. but he listened to your every word, nodding and laughing with you in all the right places, his arm steady around you as he guided you along the sidewalk.
when you reached his car, you fumbled with the door handle, giggling as you struggled to open it until he gently nudged your hand away and opened it for you. you collapsed into the passenger seat with a satisfied exhale, stretching your arms above your head as you settled in, you eyes already beginning to droop. he watched you for a moment, taking in the soft, peaceful expression on your face, and he felt that same protective instinct rises within him, fierce and unrelenting.
sliding into the driver’s seat, he glanced over at you, his fingers tapping lightly on the steering wheel. you were half-asleep now, your head resting against the window, and he couldn’t help but reach out, giving you a slight peck on the top of your head. you stirred at his touch, blinking up at him with a drowsy smile.
“y'know, gumi,” you murmured, your words barely a whisper, “i’m really happy with you… like, really, really happy.”
his heart clenched, and genuinely smiled, his voice soft as he replied, “i’m happy with you too, y/n.” he wanted to say so much more, to tell you how deeply he cared, how much your words had affected him tonight, but since you wouldn’t remember it in the morning, he stayed shut and appreciated the moment.
as he drove, the city lights blurred past the car, and he glanced over at you now and then, his system relaxing as he saw you taking a little nap on the seat next to him. the way you had such an important conversation, how you two danced right after, and how you were peacefully asleep in his car, letting him drive you home late at night—it made him think. he realized that there was so much you probably kept hidden, so many feelings and thoughts you carried beneath your exterior, and he felt an overwhelming need to protect you from all the bad things in the world.
when they finally reached your apartment, he helped you out of the car, guiding you up the steps as you leaned heavily against him, your little sounds soft and sleepy. you fumbled for your keys, dropping them once before he gently took them from your hand, unlocking the door and leading you inside. you stumbled over to the couch, flopping down with a content sigh, almost falling asleep right again.
megumi knelt beside you, brushing a gentle hand over your cheek. “get some sleep, okay?” he murmured, his voice soft. and after noticing you weren't even considering going to your room, too worn out to move, he picked you up over his shoulder to take you to your bed. he carefully cleaned your makeup from your face, took off your clothes, and put on your pajamas before tucking you under the sheets.
as he watched you drift off, your breathing slow and even, he determined to stay by your side and help you in any way he could. he had no idea of how he would do it but was pretty sure he couldn’t just stand by and watch you suffer in silence. he had to be there, every step of the way, until you realized he was as serious as you to commit, no matter what it took. because you were totally worth it and you made him feel more than anyone had ever done before. he’d show you that you were his first choice, now and always.
megumi wasn’t planning to stay, but as he knelt beside you to give you a last goodnight kiss, your eyes fluttered open, just barely, and you reached out with a sleepy murmur. “stay, please?” you wish was soft, almost pleading, and even though he wasn’t sure at first, he just couldn’t say no to you.
a faint smile tugged at his lips as he nodded, whispering, “alright, i’ll stay for my pretty baby.” you sighed with relief, closing your eyes as you felt him settling into the bed, curling up like it was the most natural thing in the world to have him beside you. after making sure you were comfortable, he lied beside you, leaning back and watching as your breathing slowed again, your face in complete relaxation. a part of him considered moving to the armchair across your bedroom to give you space, but then you shifted, your hand reaching out instinctively to find his, your fingers brushing against his arm as you pulled him to hug you, like seeking the reassurance of his presence even in sleep. you both held a mutual grip that was soft but unmistakable, and it was almost as if you telepathically shared in your dreams how comforted you were by the closeness between each other. you murmured something incoherent in your sleep, a soft smile gracing your lips as you shifted even closer. he felt a wave of tenderness wash over him, sensing you like this, so vulnerable and peaceful. the noise and the lights of the party, the weight of everything—all of it felt like a distant memory in this quiet, cozy moment.
megumi stayed awake a while longer, simply watching over you as you slept. he couldn’t shake the feeling of knowing that you held such a distorted view of yourself. he still couldn't stop thinking about that. your casual words from earlier echoed in his mind. but truly, you were everything to him, and after all, genuine—he hated that someone had made you feel less than worthy.
eventually, the warmth and quiet pulled him under, and he found himself drifting off, his hand still resting near yours, your fingers just barely brushing against each other as he fell asleep cuddling you.
the morning sun filtered softly through the window, casting a gentle glow across the room. you stirred first, blinking groggily as you adjusted to the brightness, your head throbbing slightly from the previous night’s drinks. you closed your eyes for a moment, recalling bits and pieces of the party—the music, the laughter, megumi’s comforting presence… and then something more, a memory at the edge of your mind that felt both familiar and hazy. your face flushed as you remembered small fragments, wondering if you’d said anything embarrassing.
that's when you felt it—an arm resting near yours, warm and solid. you opened her eyes slowly again, your gaze falling on megumi beside you, still fast asleep. his face was relaxed, his usual guarded expression softened by sleep, and you couldn’t help but smile, watching him for a moment in the quiet. it was rare to see him like this, peaceful and ethereal, and a part of you felt grateful that he’d stayed for the night.
but then a pang of anxiety surfaced. did I say something? you wondered, bits of the night coming back in flashes. you remembered his face when you guys talked on the balcony, how he’d looked at you with an intensity you hadn’t quite understood in the moment. had you let something slip? had you told him about… that?
you bit her lip, cheeks warming with embarrassment, but before you could dwell too much, you felt him shift beside you, his eyes fluttering open. he looked at you, a bit groggy but immediately alert, his gaze softening when he saw you were already awake.
“morning,” he murmured, his voice rough with sleep.
“morning,” you replied, your voice a bit softer than usual, still unsure if he remembered everything.
he sat up slowly, rubbing the back of his neck as he adjusted to being awake. “how are you feeling?” he asked, his tone gentle but perceptive as he tapped your forehead with his finger, like he was searching for something that would tell him about your state.
“im… not too bad, actually” you replied, managing a small smile. you looked away, your fingers absentmindedly picking at the fabric of the sheets, still trying to piece together the foggy memories from the night before.
your boyfriend watched you, noticing the way you seemed lost in thought, and he couldn’t help but reach out, his hand resting gently on your shoulder. “baby…” he began, his voice soft but firm, “about last night…”
you tensed slightly, your gaze darting up to meet his. “oh god, did i… did i say something embarrassing, right?” you laughed nervously, brushing it off with a wave, while you couldn't look at him in the eyes from how your heart pounded as you waited for his response.
he paused, studying your face for a moment. “not embarrassing,” he said slowly, choosing his words carefully. “but… you did say something that i don’t think you’d want me to just brush off.”
your smile faltered, and you glanced down, biting her lip. “megumi, i—” your started, but he interrupted you gently, his hand still resting on your shoulder.
“you don’t have to explain anything now,” he said softly. “it's just that… i need you to know that you don’t have to feel like that. whatever happened in the past, it doesn’t change the way i see you now and it's nothing like what we have at this moment”.
your eyes softened, your heart aching as you looked at him, realizing just how much he cared, even if you hadn’t meant for him to know everything. you wanted to laugh it off, to make light of it like you usually did, but something about his gaze told you that he wouldn’t let you deflect this time.
“thank you,” you murmured, your voice barely a whisper as you met his eyes. you felt your throat tighten, the weight of your past bubbling up as you tried to push it back, but his gaze anchored you, reminding you that you weren't alone in this. "thank you for being mine..."
he reached for your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “thank you for being mine. i’ll be here whenever you’re ready to talk, okay? no pressure.”
you managed a small smile, squeezing his hand back. “i… i appreciate that, gumi,” you responded, wavering slightly. and for this time, you allowed yourself to believe it—believe that maybe, just maybe, you were worth the kindness the world offered. that you deserved the caring and love megumi gave you.
it was all still fragile— the slow building trust between you, the comfort of his presence, the trust you had on yourself as a partner. fragile. but so it was now the fear of being replaced, because as you sat there in silence, your hand still in his, the weight of every bad memory suddenly felt a little lighter, held together by the understanding and sweet amenity between the quiet morning and who you were now sure, was the love of your life.
a/n: okkk this will be long!! first able, i need to apologize for announcing an angstober only for me to didn't even start it 😭😭 i was really excited for that project but a month ago i suddenly became a functional member of society bc i got called for this student federation team at my uni, got into this research project of bioinformatics and even got called to expose for a congress about some drawings i did to communicate science?? with literal professionals?? as a stem girlie i'm like HONORED but as an individual i'm honestly so tired and i'm so sorry for that... however, i still wanna take care of all the 31 drafts i have on this app so i'll be posting them but i assure you this WILL take long lmao. i post this as a little gift and because i reaaaally wanted to show it off soon. hope you let me know your thoughts on the comments. thank you for all the new people here (and the ones who stayed for a whole month), and i hope you enjoy this as much as i do! xx
#jjk#jjk angst#megumi fushiguro#jjk megumi#megumi angst#megumi fluff#megumi x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fluff#jjk fushiguro#fushiguro x reader
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under your tree (1/3)
Anyways Ekko/Jinx has made me insane and I'm not stopping. So here have fanfic about Ekko, Jinx, and the tree that I wrote in a fugue state last night. Planned part 1 of 3, the first is alternate-Powder and alternate-Ekko.
Also on AO3
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She drags him up out of her lab, not entirely sure where to go but too jumbled up to stay. Powder’s heart is racing as she twines her fingers in Ekko’s, and she has never been happier to feel his grip strong and vital in her own. That breathless moment when he wasn't moving when she thought– she had held VI's body in the same way.
“Where are we going?” he asks, bewildered, stumbling along behind her.
“Just come on.”
Her feet know the path and she trusts them. While she does her mind races, all of the strangeness of the past few weeks slotting into place like a puzzle in her mind.
His fear on seeing her, his confusion at Milo and Claggor, the way his whole face changed when he saw Benzo… the way he hadn’t known Vi was dead. She thought he was just messing with her, in a particularly cruel way, or maybe he’d lost his mind after a particularly weird dream.
The way he’d kissed her tonight, like he was so desperate to hold on to her.
Now it all makes sense. Something that she was beginning to suspect but didn’t think was quite possible.
Her feet take her to the tree. Where Ekko painted his portraits of Vi.
Vi who lives. Vi who is from some other place and time entirely.
“What… is this?” Ekko– her Ekko– crosses to the portraits alongside her, wonderment in his eyes. “Is that Vi?”
Powder smiles. “A present,” she says. “From another you.”
Ekko scoffs disbelieving. “Seriously, you can stop messing with me.”
“Did you know that the competition is tomorrow?”
Ekko whirls around. “What? No– it's weeks away!” He waits for the punchline that he knows is coming, and then scratches at his head. “Seriously? What do you mean it’s tomorrow, I thought–”
“You had plenty of time?”
Ekko nods. He swallows and she watches his Adams apple bob, as he takes this in. “Powder, why did I wake up on the floor of your lab?”
“Because an alternate universe version of you took over your body for a few weeks, built a time machine that created a space anomaly, and then went back to his universe.”
She expects him to laugh. She expects him to accuse her of making it up. Even as she says it, it sounds a little crazy.
Ekko flops to the ground. “Huh.”
“Yeah,” she says. She doesn't approach, doesn't touch him. Gives him time to process.
“That is about the wildest shit I've ever heard.”
Powder snorts. “Don't I know it. Imagine three weeks of my boyfriend acting like a lunatic, and I only now figure out why.”
“Imagine losing three weeks of your life to an another version of you!” He scratches at his head in that way he does when he's frustrated. “I can't believe the content is tomorrow and I haven’t prepared anything!”
Powder laughs. The Innovators Competition seems like the least of her concerns right now, but of course for him he was just thinking about it. It consumed his every thought “To be fair, while making his time travel device he maaaaybe finished your battery. It works great, by the way!”
Ekko sits up, offense playing across his face. “He finished my designs??” Then he shakes his head. “Is it weird to be jealous of another version of myself?”
Powder considers. And yeah she's gonna push it because she likes pushing his buttons. “Would now be a bad time to tell you he kissed me?”
Ekko nearly chokes.
“In my defense I thought he was you!”
The fight goes out of Ekko, and he sighs. Lays down in the grass and looks up at the wall where Vi’s eyes from another universe look down on the both of them. “You think she’s alive, in his world?”
Powder nods. She curls herself next to him, intertwining her fingers with his. “Yeah,” she says. “He told me about her, a bit– said it was a dream he had. Said she was the strongest fighter in all Zaun.”
There under that tree she tells him all about the dream the other Ekko told her about, that strange world where Vi lived and was in love with a Piltover heiress of all people and she went by a different name and she and Ekko hadn't really talked in years and Zaun was still just like it used to be and maybe even worse.
“It’s weird,” Ekko says while she talks. He rubs his forehead, his brow creasing in concentration. “It's like I can remember it, a little– while you're talking. Flashes of memory… I don't know if they're real.”
Powder curls their fingers together. “I think alternate universes are uncharted territory for anyone.”
Ekko snorts. “You're telling me.” He squeezes her hand reassuringly. “It’s strange. Everything I'm feeling, it all feels so sad and awful and scary… even if VI's alive so many people were dead, and we hadn't talked in forever…” he trails off, and Powder imagines it– really imagines it– that universe that other-Ekko came from and it makes her sad. “And don't get me wrong, I'm glad he left and I get to be me and not have my life hijacked by some alternate me, but…”
Powder levers herself up. “But?” she prompts.
“But why'd he do it?” He turns to look at her, and there's something anxious in his brown eyes. “I don't know if I could leave to a world where we never talked.”
Powder smiles. Rolls over and kisses the bridge of his nose. They haven't said it yet but she loves him–whichever version. “Because he's you. And because they needed him, the people on the other side.”
Ekko turns this over in his mind. “What was he like, the other me?”
Powder scrunches her nose as she tries to think. “Like you but weird. Like, he was really jumpy at first and then he got all sentimental over weird stuff. But, he was you– just as smart, just as idealistic. Always had his head in the clouds and his nose in an equation.”
Ekko laughs. Flicks her nose. “That doesn't sound like me at all.”
“Oh doesn't it, Mr. Free-Energy-For-All?”
“I still can't believe he finished my designs.”
Powder rolls back laughing, because he sounds so indignant. He continues to glare, annoyed. And then after a minute joins her in laughter.
“I think I saw him for a minute, at the end there.” Powder says once she's caught her breath.
“Oh? What was he, uh…?”
“Really hot,” she says, because she knows it's going to make him jealous but she’s also calling him hot and he can't say anything about it, and it’s such a delicious conundrum. “Kind of rugged, too– big baggy clothes and wearing war paint. Not at all a buttoned up nerd.”
Ekko rolls over, pins her to the ground like she's been goading him to do. “I'll show you buttoned up nerd,” he says, and he kisses her breathless.
And it’s different from the way he kissed her earlier tonight. For one he knows how she likes to be kissed, knows how to tease her. But there's nothing of that delicate way he held her like she was this precious thing that could break, and she wants that intensity again.
They stay like that awhile. Just kissing, just enjoying each other. And they don't think of other worlds where they haven't talked in years and maybe never will again.
At last they stop, because Ekko looks at his watch and says, “Oh shit, I should get you back home!”
Powder tickles his knee with hers, hoping to tempt him into giving in again. “We’ve got time. I said I was going to the dance.”
“It’s almost 2am, I'm pretty sure your dads are gonna kill me.”
Powder snorts disbelieving. “Nah, they wouldn't.”
“No, I know Silco quit being a crime boss but I'm pretty sure he still knows how to hide a body like, super good.”
Powder kisses him again– with a little bit of tongue, for good measure– and then when she's sure he's about to give in she jumps to her feet. Ekko looks at her exasperated but fond. “Alright, genius. Let's get you home– you've got a presentation to give tomorrow.”
Ekko groans.
#arcane#arcane spoilers#timebomb#my writing#feat. background silco/vander#do you think powder brought alt-ekko back to the tree?
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The words I long for are visceral in their rawness, decisive in who they are. Yet that is not remotely who I am; I think this discrepancy (of who I want to be and who I innately am) is what makes it so hard to write things I feel proud of.
When I want to be bold and unapologetic, I am tentative and constantly looking over my shoulder. I don’t have the confidence to stand on my own two feet without fear of tipping over, let alone speak words that wield any sort of power.
#moots don't laugh at me please I know this is kind of cringe#but I'm in my feels tonight thinking about life and such#and I'm trying to be all poetic about it to make myself feel better lol#elle's diary#elle's thoughts#rambles#emo posting
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You could say that I have strong feelings about this ongoing debate
#critical role#we can all have coffee on Ludinus' grave and debate the nature of morality until we're blue in the face. but priorities.#cr spoilers#bell's hells#HHHHHHH false dichotomies are not a friend#the choice is not a binary Gods Or Predathos#and you should not pick Predathos just because you don't like the other option!!!!!#anyway i have uhhhh 15 memes that i made tonight because that is who i am as a person#also. also. hey. guys. everybody.#if your philosophical debate is leading you to go 'idk maybe the murderers are onto something'#boy HOWDY you better have the information to back that up!#the thing is I'm not mad this devate is happening i think it's very realistic that people would get caught up in this debate given the given#i have just painstakingly cultivated the ability to have an argument and i have strong feelings about rhetoric#[bangs on a pot lid with a spoon] CONSIDER ALL ANGLES BEFORE YOU DOUBLE DOWN ON A POSITION#if you're curious#yes i am EXACTLY like this in a real life argument i have been told i am infuriating to argue with#both because of my love of Sources and because of my need to be absolutely dead sure of something before i get in a fight about it#which have the annoying tendency to make me like. not lose a lot of fights.
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you can tell the sharks lb is deeply unwell bc instead of cancelling mackblack for being an antivaxxer they threaten to inoculate him every time he fucks up
#joy. by any means necessary.#I PERSONALLY think we need to talk more about the mpox vaccine in hockey. marta is right we need to give mackblack the mpox vax#MY DOCTOR MADE ME GET IT and it was the most annoying 8 weeks of my life#oh you think a covid vaccine is inconvenient mackblack? try getting a shot that turns your arm a weird color while nurses yell at you#to not touch your arm for eight weeks#forbidden injection site....no touch....but you just want to touch...it looks weird and feels weird#'ugh covid vaccine doesn't do anything--' give me ur arm. i'm going to give u a new horrible experience#and then we are going ** **** 😊#hockey for ts#fresno oilers.txt#hey guys i discovered tonight that the ikea delivery guys fucked up REAL BAD#and gave me $600 of free furniture. and i only discovered this after the guy i hired from taskrabbit built ALL OF IT#so i'm like in a really good mood all of a sudden. free furniture for me and my friends#have you ever been given $600 of free ikea furniture? it's an incomparable rush
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gojo would proceed to sing I'm just ken at the top of his lungs every single day for at least a week after seeing barbie
#you have a mild argument and he goes “all my life been so polite but I'll sleep alone tonight”#you tell him he's a dumbass and the reply is “am I not hot when I'm in my feelings?”#he's so annoying#gojo#I'm sorry I think about this so often
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Papi, are you alive? Thunderbolts trailer leaked and we got Hailee back from the dead (and there's the movie with Andrew and Florence and its KYAU coded as fuck) Kate and Yelena content galor this week. PLEASE COME BACK. We've been deprived for a year. It's been jail for too long. Grace us with Kate x Yelena content again. Pretty please.
*taps mic* Is this thing on?
#i don't even know what compelled me to open this again tonight but this is a funny message to get today#man it really has been two weeks short of a year#hi#life has been.........interesting lol#and yes#I have seen all of the kate x yelena content and if you don't think I have fifteen million new AUs in my head in a year you don't know me#also like 59 new clexa AUs#my brain is my brain#just because I wasn't here doesn't mean writing wasn't gettimg done#man WHAT A YEAR lol#but I'm glad y'all even care what I have to say about anything lol#I got an email a few weeks about that this blog turned 18#like a 'happy birthday to your blog' or some shit tumbrl email#and nothing has ever made me feel older#this blog is old enough to vote lmao#and I had a tumble before I just deleted and started fresh#I've been on this hellsite too long#anyway...Papi has been through Some Shit#some GOOD some almost legit killed me#the last four months have been...SOMETHING#but I'm here I'm gay and I've never stopped coming up with AUs#for clexa or bishova#I was just...doing life#rants#anonymous#answers
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actually so low on morale.
#sami rambles#i don't think anyone without a chronic illness can understand what it's like to then get sick on top of that because like.#my flatmate who gave me this chest infection carried on with her life like it was just an annoying cough.#which i have my own issues with regarding like passing it around because she wasn't wearing a mask anywhere :/#like with my condition at least when i get sick my whole body shuts down in order to actually have enough energy to fight the bug.#but my body stops functioning the way it should#my brain slows all the way down so i can't focus on anything#so i am literally just reduced to lying in bed until i start to get better#and it's not even like i can really do work whilst lying in bed because again. brain no work!!#so im just bored and there's a thousand things i need to do but i cant focus on any of them long enough to actually do them#and even thinking about doing them feels like im thinking about taking up the mantle of sisyphus and rolling that big fucking rock#anyway. I'm going up a hill with my friends tonight to watch the fireworks and drink hot chocolate idc if it kills me
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sometimes i think about penny turner and how much she must love her brilliant, beautiful son, her only child, and how proud she must be of him, but how much she must've worried about him too over the years (and probably still does sometimes) and then i cry a little 🥺
gif credit @ihatealexturner [X]
more emo thoughts about this under the cut because it's just that kind of night i suppose
like, we know alex and his mum (both his parents actually) have a great relationship and they love each other very much, so i have no doubt that she's so very proud of alex for how hard he works and how driven and talented he is, so proud of everything he's achieved, knowing how much he and his creations mean to a huge number of people
but then also, how could she not worry about him, knowing that yes, he is living his dream, but he's also flying all across the world every few years, a different city every night, performing to the point of exhaustion, only to have to come up with the next big thing all over again? that's a lot of pressure on his shoulders, even if he does share a lot of it with the rest of the band. and alex handles it admirably of course, but still, if even i worry about him sometimes, i can't imagine how it must be for his mother (and father, of course, all of this probably goes for him just as much)
i also think about how she must have felt when alex moved to the usa, and how relieved she must've been when he decided to move back to the uk/europe, to have him closer again. and i wonder how she must've felt watching all those different personas and eras he created appear and disappear, maybe sometimes fearing he'd lose himself somewhere along the way, but still always seeing her boy underneath it all. i'm sure she's gotten used to it to some extent, but it must still be overwhelming sometimes, seeing all the hype and the scrutiny and the expectations and the temptations he has to deal with, especially knowing better than anyone how special and sensitive he is deep down. i can imagine she wishes she could protect him while at the same time knowing he's a big boy now, and he was always destined to make his mark on the world in a way that required him to spread his wings and leave the warm nest she'd created for him
and then i think she must also be so grateful to know that he's always got his best friends with him when he's on the road, to support him and share the load, and that he has so many more friends who adore him and always have his back, and how much of a reassurance that must be and then I just 😭😭😭😭 you know? 🥺
#is this weird?#should i not be thinking about this? idk man#listen i obviously have no idea if she feels like this at all#i don't know her at all so i may be way off#but whenever i imagine being alex's mum these are just all the things i would feel 🥺#and i don't mean to whumpify her or him#but it's just that i've talked to my own mum a lot about how it was for her when i moved abroad#and how she felt when i was going through some shit and how often she thinks about me#and like my things are all so minor compared to alex's life you know?#and I'm sure penny's gotten used to a lot of it and she's also just proud and excited but I just think it must also be hard sometimes#to be the mother of someone really special#anyway i'm a bit emo tonight#ignore me#alex turner#penny turner#arctic monkeys#minnie talks
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