#but I'm going to use that tag as it's what is available to me to sort my discussions on trans men
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fablerenown · 2 days ago
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I'm gonna be so fucking honest with y'all, some of you are snitching without knowing it. Snitching is not just going to the police and blabbing on your friends (tho if you do that, I hope you get the most painful bone hurting disease that they can neither diagnose nor treat); snitching can be letting little pieces of information through to build a more complete picture that gives fascists an advantage. You have been conditioned to share this information, both in-person and on social media.
You were out at a shooting range this weekend? No you weren't, because if you were you most likely know how to use a gun and you probably own one. If your coworker asks what you did over the weekend, you were definitely at a picnic, not the range (I could go off for a full post about how Coworkers Are Not Your Friends, but that's a post for another time).
That Instagram photo of you with your friends? Don't location tag it. In fact, try not to tag your friends either. Yes, there is metadata in the photo and AI that could reveal information, but that tech isn't widely available. Don't hand out info for free.
If you can, lie. Lie like your life depends on it to everyone but your most trusted friends. Become the most boring person you know, or make your signal so noisy that it's not worth deciphering.
You think it's not that easy? I found my bio dad, his other kids, his current wife, his full address, the full address of each of his kids, and the locations he and his wife work at all off his name and one Facebook connection on someone else's profile. It took me a bit of time, but I did not need to contact anyone or use more than Facebook, Instagram, and Google.
A lot of losers online have nothing to do but be little brown-nosing pig fuckers who find out people's info. If they want your shit, make them fucking work for it.
if you don’t remember anything else for the next 4 years, remember this: don’t be a fucking snitch.
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thekoalapastriesbakery · 13 hours ago
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THE SEAHORSE PRINCE
jenson button x royal!trans!male!reader
request: mmmm seahorse reader??? this is gonna be niche and you can say no, and I'm thinking jenson but you can change it maybe a smau of royal!trans!reader, whos already disliked by the country for being trans, and then announces he's pregnant and the country is like 'out of wedlock?' and then he announces he's married to jenson, or something :)
summary: baby button breaks the internet.
warnings: hate comments, transphobia, outdated views, gossip pages, mentions of/imagery of pregnancy + babies, swearing, probably wildly unrealistic but fuck it we ball, no written parts!
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youruser_priv
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31 likes
youruser_priv nothing like letters from my love to cheer me up after yet another meeting to discuss how much my country hates that i'm trans :D
tagged jensonbutton
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friend1 head up, you'll get through it <3
friend2 you guys are borderline disgusting with how adorable you are
advisor you're nothing but a pleasure to work with, prince y/n
youruser_priv advisor we've been over this! just y/n, please :(
jensonbutton happy to provide a distraction whenever you want one, love ;)
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youruser_priv
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22 likes
youruser_priv reading + my new twin!
royal baby coming to a palace near you in 2025 💙
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friend1 OMGOMGOMG
friend2 I BETTER BE THE GODPARENT
friend1 i think not??? i'm clearly a better choice???
youruser_priv fear not, there are two positions available and god knows none of j's racing buddies are getting the title ...
jensonbutton youruser_priv i'd argue but i agree—friend1 and friend2 are definitely better candidates 😂
jensonbutton can't wait to see my favourite person become a father x
youruser_priv yes yes very sweet now come cuddle me before i start crying
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royalgossip
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1,283,489 likes
royalgossip NEW ROYAL ON THE WAY?
Prince Y/N of England, famously the first openly transgender member of the royal family, has been spotted out and about with what looks to be a baby bump!
Controversy has sparked over these appearances as the Prince is believed to be unmarried. Will the baby assume their place in line for the throne, or will they be disowned as they'll be born out of wedlock?
Tell us what you think of this shocking revelation!
                comments
user1 so what, it's not enough that he has to be an embarrassment, he had to have a bastard child?
user2 honestly disappointed that he hasn't been disowned yet :/
user3 these comments are disgusting, y/n's entitled to a private life as much as anyone else liked by friend1, friend2, and others
user4 ooh i wonder who the baby daddy is 👀
user5 probably a footballer or a businessman
user6 girl imagine if it was an f1 driver
user7 user6 imagine if it was lewis upgrading his title from knight to prince LMAO
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                one year later ...
youruser_priv has made their account public!
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youruser
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liked by sebastianvettel, kit.connor, and 2,841,990 others
youruser 5 down, forever to go <3
happy anniversary to my wonderful husband (whom i married long before we had a child, promise) and introducing baby button-l/n!
i can't wait to explore this chapter with you both, the loves of my life 💙
tagged jensonbutton
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user8 fucking WHAT
user9 plot twist of the century???
user10 where's that person who said it was an f1 driver i want them to tell me what lotto ticket to buy
user6 that's me! 🙋 unfortunately that was just a lucky guess haha
user10 user6 aw man :(
jensonbutton today, tomorrow, and every day after that, i love you forever my darling 💙
user11 oh i just KNOW that jenson bragged to lewis about outranking him in the monarchy 😭
lewishamilton he did.
user12 ASDFGHJKL
user13 that onesie is so adorable omg
fernandoalo_oficial jensonbutton i would've been a fabulous godfather cábron
jensonbutton you're not exactly making your case by swearing at me in the comments section of my husband's instagram post?
fernandoalo_oficial i still would like to have been considered?
youruser fernandoalo_oficial rest assured that you were definitely in contention! j and i were just worried about how much time you (any racing drivers) would be away or living in other countries, so we went local!
user14 oh he's so sweet how on earth does anyone hate him??
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©thekoalapastriesbakery :: please do not copy or rewrite my work on any platform !!
author's note: it was SO hard to find pregnancy pictures where reader was both racially ambiguous and not over-the-top feminine you don't understand 😭 i know some of them have little bits of skin and i'm sorry but i swear these were genuinely the best of what i could find 💔
comments + reblogs appreciated!
credits: all photos found on pinterest!
taglist: @raizelchrysanderoctavius @crispysoup318 @op-81-lvr-reblogs @ncrsbrg @spoonfulofmilo @justaf1girl @widow-cevans
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krysmcscience · 10 months ago
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Saw this prompt for incorrect OC quotes and couldn't resist with a bunch of my Breach goobers. Some of them would absolutely say these things word for word in canon if I gave them half the chance to, though. XD
They're in order of when they showed up in person - Qīng, Ghost, Red, Marisol, Shio, Cam, Daruk, Tawoos, and Alondra - as well as some important honorable mentions who have only been mentioned or gotten dialogue - Star, Blake, and Creation.
Star's design is a slight spoiler, I suppose, but it doesn't reveal if they're human or impostor, so it's all good. Creation's "design" also isn't a spoiler at all, because They can look however They want, LOL. As for Shio...some of you who have seen the body horror I've done of them may be wondering why they look so normal here, but I promise there are Reasons. :3c
In other news, will I be making a liar out of Shio in an upcoming Breach canon divergence? ..........Maybe~ >:3c
#original characters#breach#among us#(technically lol)#look i even revealed what their colors would be - as if it wasn't already patently obvious#aside from creation but - uh - ignore them (trust me it's better this way)#meanwhile qīng's color isn't even available which is a Damn Shame#there needs to be a sky blue already ffs#cyan ain't cutting it#if it were an actual lobby qīng would waffle so hard between blue and cyan and would miss his chance to pick either XD#the closest quote to canon is cam's because she REALLY wants a different job and she'll take yours in a fucking HEARTBEAT#meanwhile the closest quote to BECOMING canon is creation's and it is taking all of my willpower to resist their insistence that i allow it#the most incorrect quote of all is definitely blake's - he is so mad at me for drawing this and calling out how he feels about his old job#the biggest lie here is red's - he absolutely thinks about breaking rules and does it a lot more than he'd like to admit#someone give poor tawoos a fucking break - they didn't ask for this#i promise that marisol is more than The Bitchy Sunflower Girl - just give her some time - i promise#alondra has other aspects too but she would be weirdly offended if you tried to assure her that she's more than just Squeaky Mouse Girl#if daruk ever had to go to anger management he would accidentally incite a rage riot just like dan did in that episode of dan vs#ghost i'm sorry but your fashion sense is incomprehensible and i don't even know how i come up with half the stuff i put you in#did blake steal the jacket off of crinklytinfoil's pink/chase from the skeld? absolutely not - he borrowed it cuz those two would be BUDS#these tags are ridiculous#ok im done now
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brittlebutch · 9 months ago
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finally found a place to read With the Light online and i'm thrilled; if you haven't read this manga i do Legitimately recommend it
#N posts stuff#like don't get it wrong it Is Not a series about being autistic it Is a series about raising an autistic kid#but also don't be put off by that because it's legitimately a series that I feel Loves autistic people with its whole being#it's kind of a teaching manga so it showcases a lot of different opinions/characters/conflicts/etc. but the Framing is very consistent#in that the manga is Extremely of the opinion that autistic people are People who deserve to be Valued and Accepted As They Are#the onus for change is never put on autistic individuals the framing is basically Universal in the 'the World needs to change#to be more accepting' -- it's a very Social Model depiction of autism that ALSO never veers too far into the#'autism isn't even Really a disability' fallacy; it's very much a 'A lot of autistic people will need constant support in a variety of ways#throughout their lives but that isn't the roadblock preventing them from having their own lives; ableism in society is the roadblock'#the first two chapters are the hardest to get through bc they take place before Sachiko has any real understanding of autism and#so she's isolated and stressed out and the ignorance makes it difficult for her to care for Hikaru properly (there's also a lot of#other characters Blaming her for what's going on which goes unchallenged at this point though that changes later); but after she#understands what autism is she's Firmly in Hikaru's corner for the rest of the series - you can skip right to ch 3 without a problem#if you're not interested in reading about that initial conflict#there's still a Lot of conflict ofc but by then the chapters have some of my favorite moments so i don't want to advocate skipping#them; like Hikaru's daycare teacher explaining how Hikaru's difficulty speaking is the same as other kids' troubles with#things like jump-roping/etc.; and then a mother who has An Issue with Hikaru's presence in her daughter's class realizing the#depth of the problematic opinion bc Her mother (who had a stroke) faces similar ableism from her peers#i'm cutting this post off b4 the tags get Too long but if you're curious but still hesitant man. send me an ask and i will Happily#write an insanely long essay about how much i love this series; i have all the books i'm not excited about the online availability#for Me i'm excited bc i've been wanting to rec this manga for like almost a full decade and i can finally give you a link instead of#saying 'well. you can find used copies sometimes' lol
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daz4i · 3 months ago
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well it's been awhile since i last reached a point of crying from pain - less from the actual pain itself and more the frustration over it not going away - but it's nice to see that things always reach the point of me leaning on the wall in the shower half screaming half groaning bc what else do i even have left to do abt this shit.
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finniestoncrane · 9 months ago
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Virginal vault dweller reader you say?? I'd eat that up (and so would Cooper, heh) but seriously I would read the hell out of that if you're up for it <3
Different Up Here
Cooper Howard x Fem!Reader, word count: 6.3k anon thank you lmao i had already started drafting this, so vault dweller reader isn't quite a virgin but they are definitely inexperienced and have never known pleasure like the kind that cooper can offer 🤎 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: power imbalance, dubious consent because once you've said yes to cooper you can't change your mind, overstimulation, crying, oral sex, fingering, instructional, full penetration babiessss i realised i never tag that shit but yeah it's in here lmao, cumming inside, no protection, sweet coop afterwards but only briefly
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If anyone else had asked you in that moment how you were, you couldn't have answered accurately without any hint of sarcasm and irritation. You were being worn down, like buildings by the sands of the desert. Each little molecule of your optimism being torn away from you, painful like plucking a hair. But when Cooper asked you, you tried your best to push down your knee jerk response.
"Let's see, shall we? Since leaving the vault a month ago, bravely in search of resources and supplies for my friends, I have killed, maimed, and eaten things I hope to never think of again. I'm in a constant cycle of very, very stressed and then very, very bored where there is no happy medium between fearing for my life and wishing for death. And oh, by the way, I'm sweating buckets the whole time because it's deathly fucking warm. Thank you for asking, Cooper!"
Instead, you shrugged and offered him at least a partial truth.
"It sounds silly... but I'm kind of bored."
A dry chuckle passed over Cooper's lips.
"Heh, that's a new one for out here."
Sensing an opportunity to at least get some conversation out of him, you sat up on the rusty bed frame, your body sinking into the almost entirely flattened mattress as you crossed your legs and did your best to get Cooper to talk more than a sentence at a time.
"Really? I would have thought you'd be bored a lot, especially when there's no raiders, or mirelurks, or scavengers, or feral ghouls, or super mutants, or roving gangs of-"
"See, this is why I'm never bored. Always somethin' or someone to be killin'."
"But what about like... now? When there's nothing else to do. There's no magazines, no books, no TV."
You watched as Cooper turned from you with a slight smile. You knew the one, the familiar grin that meant you'd divulged some information about your life in the vaults, something he always found so amusing. It was your naivety, your optimism. He was endlessly fascinated by it, as though listening to you talk about it reminded him of something he had before.
That fascinated you. It made you want to stay around him, the way he listened silently as you talked about the old films that were on the holotapes, the food that was still fresh and available, the music you could hear whenever you wanted to, not reliant on some two-bit radio host. He paid attention to you. And any time his deep, brown eyes focused on your lips it made your heart flutter in an admittedly unexpected manner.
Remembering that feeling, you tried again, hoping that your next approach might be something that interested him a little more than just conversation.
"You know how we used to pass time in the vaults?"
Over the sound of the evening breezes that whipped up the sand you could still hear Cooper sigh before he spoke.
"Now if you tell me that you wanna go out there again tonight to find an old blast radius board... well I am just going to have to shoot you."
You laughed at what you hoped was a joke and waved him off, despite the fact that he was still turned away from you, unable to see your gesture as he tried ignoring you in what you assumed was the hope that you might shut up and leave him alone.
"No, no no no no no. Just..."
The lump in your throat felt like it was about to choke you, so you swallowed the clump of nerves quietly, your voice trembling as you finished your sentence.
"... fooling around... y'know?"
Cooper turned to face you. You had piqued his interest, and you couldn't help but show the giddy glee on your face, the smallest smile crossing your lips as your eyes widened. But his words wiped away all hope that you had garnered in that short span of time.
"Oh... oh darlin'."
He laughed a little, each little sound of the short, sharp giggle like a slap to the face.
"I don't think you're ready for that at all."
You raised an eyebrow, defiant, irritated, and keen to know how he thought he had you pegged so quickly. You'd never talked about anything like that with him before. Was he assuming that you were a virgin based on how you behaved around him alone? Maybe he figured that the lack of flirting on your part was down to a complete lack of experience, when in reality, it was because every flirtatious quip he threw your way made you so nervous and flustered you felt like you might throw up.
"How come I'm not ready? I mean, I've... I've done stuff... I've done it!"
"The fat you're not saying it how it is makes me think that you are absolut-"
"I've had sex, Cooper. I've fucked before. I've been fucked."
Blinking off the irritation at being interrupted by you, Cooper pushed up the brim of his hat and stared directly at you, as though he was examining your, to see if you would stand up for yourself any further.
"By who? One of your little buddies underground? Fucking like little bunnies? I don't think that qualifies you, sweetheart."
"Why? Sex is sex..."
You said it with such confidence. As if you really knew. As if you hadn't spent your teenage years practising on your hand, holding a pillow close, lining up for that one girl in the vault who would sell practice kisses for extra bubble-gum. You'd had sex before, of course. You weren't a liar. Just because you'd only ever done it once didn't render it nonfactual. Just because it had only lasted for all of four minutes. Just because you weren't sure you even orgasmed, and your friend had told you that you'd know if you'd orgasmed. Just because it was all over so quickly, and he'd run off before anyone could catch you both, avoiding you at every opportunity after that.
"... Isn't it?"
"Oh no it ain't. Besides, like I keep telling you, it's different up here. Everything's different up here. And that includes fuckin'."
The way he said the word, consonants enunciated with such grit and vigour, filled your stomach with knots that began to tighten as you considered in what way things were so different.
"What exactly do you mean by that?"
Cooper sighed, exasperated, resigning himself to the fact that you were going to keep talking to him regardless of his short replies and attempts to end the conversation.
"You are a dog with a bone, huh? Ain't gonna let it go."
His yellowed teeth were exposed as his lips pulled back in a baring, mischievous smile. Those knots doubled, the ends being pulled by tension in your nervous system as Cooper's smirk put you into a dazed stupor.
"No, sir."
"Now, I don't remember signing on to be your personal tutor in all things apocalypse. Do I really need to show you how everything works up here?"
As your cheeks began to blush, you nodded enthusiastically.
"Yes, sir."
You were hopeful for just a bit of a distraction. Something to help take the stress away. To relieve the tension that had been building up between you and Cooper as of late. You'd been studying him, watching the way he looked at you, fascinated by your perceived, and frankly obvious, innocence. The way his fingers moved, contributing to the skilful way he handled his gun and his ropes. The confidence, the charisma, the charms.
You wanted him, but you weren't quite sure how to broach the situation without it seeming desperate. But you were past that now. You were desperate For anything, just something. Something to cure the monotony of walking and hiding and fighting and surviving. You didn't want to just survive. You wanted to at least find a semblance of fun and pleasure in this nightmare you had found yourself in. And in the vaults, when board games and books and debates got boring, there was always fucking. That was what you desired most right now. The fact that Cooper happened to be the closest target for your desires was just a sweet miracle, or a cruel tease depending on how willing he was.
And luckily, he seemed agreeable.
"Well then, how about you come over here and let ol' Coop show you a little thing or two about how dirty you can really get up here in the mean, dusty Wasteland, hm?"
Your excitement was palpable, even though you were trying to keep your composure. There was no escaping the echo of the giddy squeal you let out as you jumped up from the bed and made your way over to Cooper. He waited in the far corner of the room, setting himself down on an old armchair as you stepped towards him, slapping his thighs as an indication of where he wanted you. And you did as you were told, following his instructions, knowing they hadn't led you astray so far in your time together.
It felt awkward at first, being so close to him. You shifted your weight nervously, trying to get comfortable while making sure Cooper was still at ease, which of course, he was. He always was. Nothing stirred him, he was forever at peace. Competent in any situation. Quick to adapt. And as you fidgeted and fussed, you felt his strong hands pushing you forward on his lap, until your chests were practically pressed together, his hands skirting over your lower back as he held you still. In command. In control. The sudden sensation of his hands on your body made your breath hitch, a soft, surprised squeal on the inhale that had Cooper raising his brow at you.
"Now... you agree that you asked for this, alright? Because I am not going to put my effort into entertaining your little whims if you're gonna get fussy and decide it's too much for you. I did warn you."
"Yes, you did, and I really don't think you needed to. I doubt there's too much different about it, and I've picked up what I needed to know pretty quickly from your other lessons, haven't I?"
Your retaliation to his insistence that you needed him to teach you everything, and that some things just might prove themselves a little too hard even for your levels of enthusiasm, had irritated him when he'd first met you. But now your optimism and sheer refusal to believe anything was too much for you were a source of entertainment for him. A challenge.
"That's fine then, darlin'. But I'll remember that."
His eyes bore into your soul, keeping your focus on him as he dared you to look away. They sparkled as he ran his tongue over his lips, the pretence of preparing for his next words covering the obvious flirtation in the way he dragged the flat muscle along his chapped skin.
"So, gimme a benchmark here, lil lady. How much foreplay was involved in your previous encounters? I'd hate to leave you high and dry."
"Foreplay...? What... uh, what is that?"
Cooper sighed, rolling his eyes before closing his eyelids over gently.
"Well, it's something like this."
He pushed a loose strand of hair back behind your ear, rough fingers following the curve and grazing over your neck as he let them drift down the front of your chest, tickling the exposed skin as far as your jumpsuit would allow before he took a hold of the zip at the front. A quick flit of his eyes up to you seemed to ask for permission, and your small, almost imperceptible nod, told him to keep going.
Slowly, painfully so, he pulled the zip down, watching as the centre of your torso was slowly revealed to him. Smooth skin, in comparison to his anyway, clear of any unnatural blemishes or war wounds. One calloused digit followed down your sternum to your stomach and back up, hooking under the left side of the fabric and pulling it over, then the other, exposing the top half of your body to him.
Cooper traced his fingertips over the top of your breasts, watching as your chest moved in and out, slowly, but exaggeratedly. The knots in your stomach felt like they might burst with the tension as his sharp, ragged nails crossed over your hardening nipples, a gentle tingle coursing through your veins.
"Well?"
"No... n-nothing like that... just grabbing..."
"Oh yeah? You like that? How about this?"
He closed two fingers around your nipple, one hand still on your back to keep you balanced as your body reacted to his touch. Between the two digits, you felt your nipples heating up, the slight, burning pain from the way he squeezed them sending a signal down your spine that seemed to affect every part of you. Tighter, tighter, and then as your eyes closed a little more, eyelids pressed tight, he would ease up to offer some relief.
"You like that? Like it rough?"
"I think... I think I like both."
"So, something like this?"
He teased your nipples once more, pressing harder with his fingertips, pulling them out and jiggling your breasts as he tugged at them, this lewder act interspersed with a gentle caress as he held your breast against the palm of his hand, carefully cupping it as he flicked his thumb over the sensitive and completely erect nipple.
You bit your lip, trying to keep quiet, Coop's hand moved swiftly from your body to your cheeks, popping the lip back out as he pressed his thumb and forefinger into your face. Understanding the message, and seemingly showing this in your wide-eyed gaze, he let his rough, leathery hand make its way back down to your breast, cupping it once more as he spoke.
"Different, see? Pleasure is hard to come by out here. You gotta do it right when you've got the chance."
Cooper leaned into your neck, whispering the words low and slowly, his dry, chapped lips skimming over your skin as he continued.
"I bet down there they didn't know the first thing about real pleasure. Takes time, something like that. You gotta learn the body, gotta make it feel good."
His teeth grazed over your shoulder and back up along your neck before he pulled back, watching your eyes refocus from the haze of arousal.
"Did they make you feel good?"
"No."
You were confident in that statement. It hadn't felt good. It felt rushed. Clumsy. Shameful. And as you pondered it, your mouth remained open in a slight pout which trembled as Cooper asked his next question.
"And what about your pretty lips... did they kiss them?"
"A little..."
Cooper leaned in, his rough lips pressing onto yours with firm contact, his tongue staying in place as though he imagined that might be a bit too much for you right now. But that same level of restraint didn't keep him from letting his teeth catch onto your bottom lip, pulling it out, only letting go when you winced in surprise as the suddenness of the action.
"Didn't bite them either. Of course not, what am I thinking? That would be a little too adventurous for your kind."
His face took on a darker tone as he smiled knowingly towards you.
“And what about these pretty lips?”
Before you could piece together the question, his hand was diving into your jumpsuit, pushing down the front and past the waist, stroking against the front of your underwear which, by now, was soaking wet with your arousal.
“They touch these lips, huh?”
You gasped as he pushed your underwear to the side, stroking his fingers along your slick, plump pussy lips, withdrawing them soon after to taste you on his tongue, the way you had watched him taste the blood of enemies, the blood of victims.
“Stand up, darlin’… Why don’t you take that suit off, hm? Get yourself comfy.”
As you raised yourself up from his hips, your legs wobbled under you, not quite steady enough to support you so soon after being reduced to jelly by Cooper’s touch, his caramelised words that filled your ears, the sharp twang of his accent, the delicate cadence, the power rumbling underneath like an almost silent bassline.
“Do it slowly though.”
Cooper watched carefully as you stood nervously before him, shuffling out of your suit, stripping for him, your hips moving from side to side slow and steady, unintentionally sultry in the way you moved. Without taking his eyes from you he reached for his canteen, taking a long sip from it as you let your suit fall down over your legs, stepping out of it and pushing it to the side with your feet.
“That’s it, darlin’. Can’t do this half-hearted. I need to have access to all of you there. Now come sit back down.”
You held your arms in front of you, feeling far too exposed for the shelter you’d found for the evening. No windows, no locks on the doors. But it was difficult to focus on that worry for too long as you watched Cooper’s tongue flit back out over his lips, clear strands of drool sparkling in the light as he took you in, hungrily, dreamily.
“Turn around though. You face that way.”
The metal buttons on the front of his duster coat were cold against the skin of your back, but you leaned into them anyway. Cooper’s hand curved around your neck and up under your chin, holding your face forward.
“You keep an eye out, holler if you see anything coming. I’ll do everything else.”
A faint clicking sound, the safety on his gun being flicked to off, before those same fingers draped over your mound and down on to your lips, spreading them apart, the cool air of the decrepit room cooling the heat of your hot, aching cunt. With two fingers holding your lips apart, he let the middle digit tap against your clit, each tiny sensation turning your blood cold before heating it exponentially, a cold sweat beginning to form on your brow as you felt a tingle in your abdomen.
The finger that tapped the sensitive bud began stroking it from side to side, laying flat against it length wise as Cooper strummed your body, still holding your chin in his hands, smiling to himself every time your back arched away from him in intense pleasure. Every nerve-ending was at his mercy. He was right, it was different up here. But you wondered how much of that was the Wasteland and it’s effect on sexuality and pleasure, and how much of it was just him. Cooper Howard, Wasteland bounty hunter, a past life he refused to talk about, the most charismatic monster you had ever met. His fingers, daintily crossing over your clit, as you felt his breath, silent except for an occasional hum of satisfaction in the form of a long moan. Maybe it was just Cooper who was different.
It was hard to focus on this new line of though as his hard fingertips clamped down on your clit, pinching it as he rolled it between his fingers. Even harder when he let his hand drop from your neck and instead began teasing at your nipples once more. Soft, cruel flicks over the hardened bumps, his fingers at work on your body, his lips kissing at the back of your neck. Moans growing louder, more frequent, as he let himself enjoy the act of making you squirm. You could tell he was having fun, as you rolled your hips back a little, feeling the thick bulge of his stiffening cock against your rear. You wondered how it might feel, how it might look, and what he could do differently with it.
“Cooper… Coop… I think I’m going to cum…”
His movements quickened, cock twitching against your body as he pinched tighter and pressed his fingers harder against your cunt.
“Don’t you dare, little lady.”
“Ok I’ll… I’ll try but… you have to… stop… please stop… Coop…”
He ignored your please, the whining, desperate begging as you tried to stop your body from the natural, encouraged reaction.
“Have some self-control, sweetheart.”
“Cooper, I really can’t… please… please stop touching me…”
“I absolutely will not.”
Your fingers dug into his thighs, but you noticed that you refused to move away from him. You wanted to do as he asked, wanted to hold yourself back from the brink of orgasm to prolong his touch, but you couldn’t risk him actually stopping, fearing that your body might crumble if his fingers left your quivering, pathetic body for only a second.
Each stroke against your increasingly wet and sensitive pussy had you trembling and shaking, and Cooper had to remove his hand from your breast to keep you steady, placing it under your chin and holding you steady by the neck.
“I am warning you, missy.”
“Cooper… I can’t stop…”
You shuddered and whined as your body gave in to the temptation, feeling a rush of heat and relief as you came on his lap, your arousal coating his pants, adding to the collection of stains and wear on them. But he didn’t stop then.
“No wait… seriously, Cooper… I can’t… I can’t take much more, honestly…”
“Listen, I told you. I said you better not cum. I wasn’t done with you yet.”
Your eyes began to sting with tears of exasperation as your body kept on pushing to its limits, conjuring up another wave of climax, tormenting you with never-ending bouts of arousal that kept you rutting against him, despite how painful it was to keep writhing into his body. You could feel your stomach knotting again, not much time between each orgasm to relax, and you dug your hands into his thighs, pushing your body up off of him as you tensed completely.
“Ok, this time, you do it on my command. You do it when I say you can, alright?”
“Cooper…”
“Don’t give me that pleading shit, you asked me to show you how things are done. Well this is how Cooper fuckin’ Howard does things. So are you ready? You gonna come for me?”
“C-coop… I’ll… I’ll try…”
“Good girl, now you keep that mouth making those whines and moans. I don’t need you to call out my name or anything, I know I’m all you’re thinking about.”
The praise, the self-confidence, the way his fingers seemed to be pulling your orgasm out, motioning for it to come closer to him.
“Come on, darlin’, come on…”
Your vision blurred as the climax came over you, body rolling and convulsing as you came once more at Cooper’s insistence, your cheeks stained with tears, salted water rolling through the layers of grime and clearing paths to your chin.
As you settled back down onto his lap with a shudder, you felt Cooper’s fingers stroking through your hair. He was surprisingly gentle, oddly calm, but you supposed that you deserved his kindness as you had done as he had asked, making up for your previous indiscretion. He was almost cooing, shushing you as you found your breath, establishing your sense of self once more after the overstimulating orgasm that shook your core.
“You seen enough of the big bad world for one day then?”
You probably had, but you still found yourself shaking your head, ignoring the way your body reacted with a violent twitch at the notion of Cooper’s hands delivering intense pleasure.
“A glutton for punishment, hm? Or just keen to learn?”
As you pondered your answer, Cooper seemed to have come to the conclusion for you, as he tapped your hips and began to shift underneath you.
“Alright then, get onto your knees.”
Positioning yourself at his feet, you couldn’t help but look up at him, catching his eyes as he looked down at you with that unique brand of disdain and intrigue he had somehow mastered. You knew what was coming, what was about to happen, and your mouth began watering at the thought. What he might taste like. What he might look like.
You didn’t have to imagine for long though, as you could see his fingers working the belt of his pants, loosening it, unzipping his fly, and gripping his semi-erect cock at the base as he took it out, brandishing it. He kept close attention on your own eyes, a soft sigh of relief imperceptibly escaping his chest as he noticed your pupils widen, your mouth opening in preparation for him.
It was exactly as you had expected. The texture of the shaft was similar to that of his cheeks and his forearms, a similar colouring, though darker at the base and on the shaft which was tinted red. Thick, purple tinged veins covered it, winding around the length, cutting across the ridges of the scars.
“You can come closer, darlin’. I don’t know what they told you about mutations and radiation effects down there in your little utopia, but I can assure you… it doesn’t bite.”
The fear was palpable, clearly, but it was nothing to do with Cooper’s body and everything to do with your lack of experience, which, despite you arguing otherwise, was becoming plainly obvious even to you. You had only ever touched a cock with your hands outside of being quickly fucked. Several times you’d been cajoled into quickly stroking an erection under the blankets before your partner ran off to the bathroom, clean and tidy, flushing away the sins. And you were very well aware that there was always the option to suck on one, but it had never presented itself. It had never seemed that appealing to you. Until you were faced with Cooper’s.
He hadn’t even asked you to do either yet, but you found yourself curious, salivating over the thought of him, mind racing as you imagined how he might feel against your tongue.
“Can I taste it… you?”
Cooper smiled warmly, one of the few times you had seen him look at you with genuine pride.
“Now that is using your initiative. Of course you can.”
You kept your hands to yourself as you leaned in towards his body, content to let Cooper wield his length at you, his hand firm around the base as you inched closer, tongue pressed out over your lips. A strand of drool collected and spilled forward, hitting the floor in a soft patter just before the tip of your tongue came into contact with the tip of his cock.
A lot of the movements were instinctual, following your desires more than what you thought might be protocol as you dragged your tongue up the shaft and swirled over the blushing head of his cock. It tasted bitter, but in a pleasant way.  Savoury, not sweet. Salted, a tang that stayed there for a few seconds after your tongue had moved on to another spot. A flavour you found yourself craving now.
Cooper gripped tighter and pushed forward, taking you by surprise as he slid himself into your mouth, his free hand moving to the back of your head, fingers curling into your hair. As the taste of him hit the back of your tongue, cock almost touching your throat, you coughed and spluttered a little.
“Fuck me, darlin’… do you need me to show you how to do this too?”
He looked down at you, filled with pity as he saw your face. Red cheeks, puffed out, lips stretched over the girth of his cock, tears welling up in your eyes as you struggled to breathe.
“Breath through your nose… breathe in…”
You followed his instructions, instantly calmed when you found your lungs filling with air once more. Almost immediately back to enjoying yourself, the feeling of Cooper inside of you, the control he had as he held your head against him.
“Now… you don’t want to choke too much, so keep your tongue flat… yeah, just like that…”
It was so much easier like that, and you could feel your cheeks getting warmer and redder as you realised that not only had you embarrassed yourself with your spluttering and lack of knowledge, but that Cooper had clearly done this a lot.
“And your teeth… well, usually they’ll tell you to keep ‘em outta the way, but you know me… gotta be different…”
Taking the hint, you let your jaw close slightly, the pain of the stretch lessened, your teeth scraping along the top of his shaft as your tongue worked the underneath, sucking and rolling as much as you could while keeping it flat.
He didn’t say much else, and you couldn’t tell if he was particularly enjoying himself. It worried you, the fact that he had specific preferences, the way it was so clear how much more experienced he was than you. How many others had there been? And were they all better than you? As your mind wandered to your anxieties, you completely missed the fact that you had begun to drool all over yourself until Cooper relaxed his grip on your head and wiped at your chin with his thumb. Catching your eyes and sensing some of your worries, he was surprisingly quick to soothe you.
“You can swallow or spit or let it all spill out, I don’t mind makin’ a mess darlin’. But whatever you’re doing, you keep that up.”
You were so pathetically grateful for the encouragement, for the tiniest semblance of praise, that you felt yourself moaning involuntarily. The soothing motion of sucking on his cock, the taste of something new, the comforting knowledge that he was happy with your efforts. You could feel your clit throbbing, aroused by Cooper’s satisfaction, how pleased he was with the way you worked him over.
Which is why it surprised you so much when he pulled his cock from your mouth, your lips slipping off of it with a disgustingly lewd popping sound, drool spilling onto your chin in long strands which stretched from your lips to his cock and tore apart as he distanced himself from you.
And again, that sympathetic gaze, the way he could tell what you were thinking before you even said it.
“Oh, don’t you look at me with those big, sad eyes. You got nothin’ to worry about, sweetheart. That was good, ‘specially for a first try…”
He winked to you as he spoke, causing your heart to skip enough beats that you thought you might die there and then.
“… It’s just that I’m all slicked up and ready to go now… so you wanna bend over for me? Or do you wanna come sit on my lap?”
“Uh… lap, please… I was kinda bent over for the last… first time.”
“Well, you come and take a seat then, darlin’, let ol’ Coop show you something new.”
You nervously settled your entirely nude body back down onto his thighs. Cooper’s hands were gentle against your shoulders as he pulled you backwards with him, leaning at a slight angle in the chair, his cock rigid and firm as it sat against your waiting cunt, coated in your drool which almost seemed to shimmer with the dancing light of the fire.
Then, so carefully, so gently, far more than you’d ever seen him be before, Cooper took hold of his cock at the base and slid it inside of you, one hand on your stomach as he braced you, keeping your body steady as he inserted himself further and further between your clenching walls.
“Bigger than before?”
You nodded, biting your lip as you felt the distinct stretch, his rough, textured cock forcing its way inside your cunt, pressed up to the hilt, testing your limits.
“Better?”
“Mhm…”
“Speak up, darlin’.”
With your voice strained and breathy, you managed to form some words.
“Yes… it’s better.”
“That’s it, good girl. Now, I’m gonna buck my hips, ok? You just try and keep your balance.”
Below you, Cooper shifted a little, his hips rolling backwards, inches of his cock escaping your tight, aching cunt, before he rolled them forwards and upwards, back into you. A slow, steady pace that he focused on keeping until you felt warmer, more relaxed.
“You got this, it’s like riding a horse.”
“I’ve never… hm… ridden a horse…”
Cooper chuckled, a low and rasping sound that sent shivers over your skin and seemed close enough to you that it was coming from inside of your body.
“Never ridden a ghoul before either, but you’re handling it alright for a first timer.”
You were coping ok, you had to admit, but you could feel your stomach muscles tensing, the knots back in full force as they tensed and tightened, loosened and frayed with each pump of his cock within you.
“Ah… Cooper…”
“Too much, darlin’? Does it hurt?”
There was a sense of genuine care in his tone, as though he had taken it upon himself to show you that yes, things were different up there in the Wasteland, but that didn’t always mean they were worse. Some things were good, if not a little bit difficult to take at first.
“A little…”
Cooper tilted your chin up, forcing your head to lean back completely against his shoulder. In a delicate move, one far more romantic than you imagined from him, he ran his thumb over your lips, angling his neck to look at them, his own mouth open ever so slightly, a monotonous panting as he kept his hips moving, increasing the speed and the force at which he entered you.
His eyes flicked up suddenly, looking into yours, catching your gaze and holding unblinking eye contact as he spoke.
“I know… I know… Just a little longer, though…”
He closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of his cock pushing against your body, enveloped in your hot, wet, velvety interior.
“I know it hurts… but I ain’t stopping, so don’t even ask… here…”
You watched as he brought a finger to your lips, offering it up to you.
“…you bite down on that if it gets too much, ok… but don’t hold back on those sweet sounds… I wanna hear you scream.”
With that vaguely threatening remark, he thrust up into you, banging against your body, spurring on your orgasm but unleashing a dull ache that spread through every sensitive part of you.
“Won’t… be long… keep it together… good girl…  good girl…”
It felt good, the pain, the sting, the ache, the shivers. The fact that he was using you, finding pleasure in you. All of it culminating in Cooper’s nearing orgasm which you could sense was closing in on him. His movements were becoming more frantic, sloppier, and he was mouthing all manner of sweet nothings as he let his façade slip away.
And those soft mumbles opened up into a wide roar as he clung to your body, the hand on your neck cutting off the air to your lungs only briefly, one hand on your lap pressing sharp indents into your skin as he forced himself into you. The last few moments of his fevered thrusting, fucking you wildly, drool pooling in the corner of his mouth as he rutted into you in a dazed stupor before his body gave in. His cock throbbed, each pulse sending another rope of cum against your insides, filling you with his seed as he shuddered finally, slinking backwards into the chair and taking in a deep breath as you removed yourself from him.
You’d only managed to take a few steps forward before Cooper addressed you, opening his eyes to watch you standing there awkwardly, his cum dripping down your thighs, a warmth that quickly turned cool in the air of the room.
“Did I say you could get up?”
Panic settled in your chest, aware that you had waited until you felt his muscles relax, his body retreating from you, before you slid off his cock, expecting him to push you away anyway, like your first time. You assumed he was finished, and you weren’t sure you were ready for the idea that he might not be done with you.
“Are we… oh, Cooper, I really can’t take anymore.”
Even as you stood, you could feel your legs shaking, weakened by the intense orgasms, the way they tightened against his every movement.
“That’s different up here too then, I suppose.”
Cooper stood up from the chair, pacing towards you with a purposeful stride as he pushed his cock back into his pants, zipping them up as he reached you. You inhaled sharply as he placed his hand at the back of your head, those knots in your stomach beginning to form again, worried that a further, albeit pleasurable punishment was on the cards. But you were surprised as he slid his free hand around your back, tugging at your waist as he pulled you in close to him. A quick smile before his lips were on yours, the brim of his hat pushed upwards as he leaned into the kiss. Warm, gentle, the kind of kiss you’d seen in movies. Practised and confident, meaningful, sincere.
When he pulled back, your body following him a little before you settled back onto your feet, he smiled warmly.
“Sweet with the sour, darlin’. You gotta keep ‘em wanting more.”
“M-more?”
More as in now? Or more as in the idea that Cooper had enjoyed himself and would be willing to offer that kind of pleasure to you again. And he answered with a wink.
“Definitely. There’s a still a lot you’ve got to learn.”
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cardentist · 1 year ago
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I want to link my other thread on this post where I dig into my feelings in more depth. I go into some things that I'm going to get into here, as well as things I might not touch on in this response: [Link]
nobody Has to read it, but if you want to argue with this response then I'm considering it required reading. people are free to think I'm wrong, but I want them to know what my perspective is before telling me so.
I also want to say that while this Is a response to what you've said, this is largely just. me expressing something. it's a response to you but it's also a verbalization of my feelings on a lot of things from a lot of people.
I'm going to try to be as fair as possible, we're both speaking about something that's clearly very important to us on an emotional level and I can understand Why you'd respond this way. but this Is hurtful to me. that said, my frustration here isn't with you specifically (not really), it's with a pattern of interactions I've had up until this point.
that Said
my original post is tagged:
"this is more of a vent post than anything but it's a thought on my mind. I'm tagging this transandrophobia (and called out the existence of trans men and mascs in particular) because I am those things, and that's the tag that I use to talk about those issues that affect these things. but this is really about all marginalized men" [End Transcription]
this was a vent post I made because the Core Idea of the post in the screenshot is something that I agree with and have for years (that women and girls are unrepresented in media and fandom), but the post itself had a visceral effect on me while reading.
I reflected on those feelings and attempted to get them out into words. that it upset me, why it upset me, and a wish that people would word this sentiment in a way that wasn't potentially hurtful to people they did not mean to hurt.
as I have repeated Multiple Times throughout this post, I do not and have never blamed the op for this. I don't Think that they intended to imply anything about anybody, I think they did the exact same thing that I did. wrote a post about something that they feel very strongly about from their perspective.
which is why I chose to create my own post with their name redacted, and why I chose to reiterate multiple times that the op of the post didn't do anything Wrong. I did not want to speak over the original post, as it Was making a valid point. I just Also wanted to speak about my frustration with the ways that people Word conversations like this. not because they Intend to be harmful, but because they never considered that what they're saying Could hurt somebody in the first place.
and it's strange to me that in doing all of this I have now had Multiple People walk up to me to tell me to my face that I'm wrong for speaking, that I am Somehow talking over women while deliberately going out of my way to Not step on the toes of the original point.
just by acknowledging that my feelings were hurt and that I wish people would have more consideration for my perspective I'm being spoken to as if I'm in Competition with women.
you brought up trans women to Assert that trans men are always talking over trans women. While Specifically coming onto my post to talk over me about my feelings.
why is it necessary to Insist that what I'm talking about Doesn't Matter because I'm a trans man, to insist that what I'm talking about isn't a "societal issue" to de-emphasize and delegitimize my feelings to my face?
this is my issue, Consistently people see trans men speak on their feelings and their first response is to belittle them. to minimize them and insist that they don't matter. when that simply Is Not Necessary or justified. it isn't About trans men being more or less oppressed than women, cis women trans women or any sort of woman, it's about trans men being People who deserve dignity. who deserve to be thought of.
"this is not a societal issue" and lets say it isn't, why is it a Bad Thing to ask to have my feelings considered? why does it Need to be a societal issue to justify considering the feelings of people with a different perspective? why can it not just matter because I'm a person.
That's the issue I was speaking about with that second response. I got that reply (and that person showing up in my dms) when this post had Two Notes, one of which was Me. I've come to learn that this person deliberately goes through tags relevant to trans men to talk down to the people posting.
and that's something I've experienced Quite A Bit. with nearly every post I've made about my experiences as a trans man, actually.
people see trans men Existing and Speaking About Themselves as inherently transgressive, and react as if they need to be put back into their place. and I don't understand it.
again, I want to take you in good faith, but I can't understand Why you'd see a post like this, check the notes to see if you find tags relating to trans men in it, and then come to the conclusion that this post needs to be put down for being transgressive to trans women somehow.
I imagine this response won't get much traction because I front loaded so much of it with my ~Feelings~ but it was necessary, considering my feelings were the core of the post in the first place.
that said ! there are some discussion points that I'd like to touch on.
firstly ! the first paragraph is. well, the point ! I expanded on that exactly (within the context of this post anyhow) in the thread I linked at the start of this reply.
you're right, there Are marginalized people in every group. which is Exactly The Point. there is no Type Of Person that's free game to make fun of and put down with no nuance that Won't affect marginalized people.
my point is that we Shouldn't try to designate a group of people that we're allowed to hurt. this isn't just about the issue we're speaking about at all, but the overall shape that fandom and discourse and the internet as a whole has taken.
people Like to try to find groups of people that "deserve" to be hurt and then Use the fact that they "deserve" it to justify whatever it is they do. it happens with petty fandom bullying and it happens with exclusion in queer spaces.
with the exception of the people who voluntarily group themselves together based on their harmful beliefs, there Is No Group Of People who are Inherently justified to hurt. there are people who are more or less likely to have specific experiences (a white person isn't likely to have experienced racism), but there is no class of people that you can deliberately refuse to show compassion because you don't think they Deserve it.
which circles back to what I was saying earlier. All People should inherently be deserving of compassion. and that means listening to and considering their perspective and feelings. you don't have to think that everyone is Right, there are people who just have fundamental beliefs that don't align with yours, but there should be no group of people that you refuse to listen to or take seriously Because of the kind of person that they are.
next, I want to address the second paragraph.
for this one, I'd actually like to link another post of mine that expands on a point that I'm going to make here [Link]
again, nobody Has to read it, but it might help explain my perspective.
what I'm taking from what you've written, and correct me if I'm wrong, is that You're frustrated because you feel that trans men are centered in trans discussions online. so it's frustrating, in turn, to see a trans man insist that his voice hasn't been adequately considered.
and here's the thing.
I believe you. there Are trans men who speak over trans women, there Are trans men who belittle trans women and treat them as if they're lesser, as if they're bigots, as if they're oppressors.
but I am Also correct. there are trans women who speak over trans men, there are trans women who belittle trans men and treat them as if they're lesser, as if they're bigots, as if they're oppressors.
you're Right that your experience has happened, It Has. you're Wrong in thinking that your experience is the universal one.
in fact, this isn't an issue of trans men vs trans women At All. the person I've screenshot in my followup Is A Trans Man. the Majority Of People who have spoken down to me and belittled me for talking about my experiences as a trans man Haven't Been trans women (they've been other trans men and cis people, for the most part).
the disconnect here is that Every Single Kind Of Trans Person has been belittled within the queer community. from other trans people, from cis people who think they're speaking for other trans people, from bigots who don't realize they're transphobic, from bigots who Revel in it.
there is no group of trans people who Aren't being talked down to, who Aren't being belittled, who Aren't being openly attacked. and the same is true for Any marginalized group within the queer community, any marginalized group At All.
it's ridiculous from My perspective to have had, Universally, every single post I've ever made talking about my experiences as a trans person for the last Ten Years belittled and talked down to (and sometimes actively harassed over) Because Of The Kind Of Trans Person That I Am. and then be told that I'm Privileged within this group that I've experienced near relentless negativity within.
people treat trans women and trans men like they're opposites on a scale, and if one thing is true for trans men then it Can't be true for trans women and vice versa. but that just Isn't True.
trans women are harassed within queer and trans specific spaces Because they are trans women, trans men are harassed within queer and trans specific spaces Because they are trans men, nonbinary people are harassed within queer and trans specific spaces Because they are nonbinary.
all of these experiences are true at the same time, none of them detract from the other. and All individuals within these groups deserve the space to talk about those experiences without being held in Comparison To other groups as a whole.
trans men are not the opposite of trans women, trans men speaking about their experiences implies Nothing about the experiences of trans women as long as nothing is Stated about said experiences.
and Generally Speaking I find that assumptions about other groups of trans people not sharing an experience with you is just wrong. which is Exactly why individuals talking about their experiences, even if those experiences are Statistical Outliers are important!
why go out of your way to deny solidarity to people who share experiences with you in favor of isolating them. it makes no sense to me. it's not a Bad thing to share with people who otherwise have experiences that you don't. (note, this point is more general, rather than necessarily being about you specifically. I don't know you and I don't want to make assumptions about you, but it's related to the subject matter I'm speaking about).
also, if I'm being honest. I find the point that trans men are oppressed elsewhere but Aren't oppressed in trans spaces as like, a point Against the idea that I as a trans man feel unseen to be very very silly.
I live my life in the real world. I had somebody walk up to me today and ask me if there was something wrong with me because I'm a visibly feminine person who is bald. my grandpa asked me if I was girl again because my hair was past my ears a few weeks ago. transphobia is Real in my day to day life in the real world.
moreover, random people on the internet aren't always guaranteed to be trans or trans inclusive in the first place. even disregarding everything about trans experiences within the queer community, how is it appropriate to tell a trans person that they're Wrong for wanting more people to consider the perspective of trans people. Because Other Trans People Already Consider That Perspective.
again, there's this feeling of Competitiveness that doesn't make any sense once you examine it. like an individual needs to be The Most Oppressed before they're allowed to speak on something. which isn't healthy in the first place, but also doesn't work when we're talking on an Individual Level.
I don't want to throw around "oppression points" because that's just not fair, but there's like. this Assumption that everyone within specific groups can be categorized in tiers of oppression, as if labels can dictate experiences. when that's just not how real people Work.
I find it really difficult to be consistently cut out of conversations about misogyny, to be propped up as benefiting from Male Privilege, when my life was ruined from sexual abuse before I knew what a Gender Identity was.
I don't want to get into it but like. odds are I'm never going to hold down a normal job, I do my best to contribute to the house hold that I'm in but I'm completely dependent on other people. and part of that is due to other factors (disability, neurodivergency, etc) but a big part of it For Me is undeniably the trauma that changed the way my brain functioned forever.
I'm Not transitioned, and it's very unlikely that I will be for many Many years to come. and even then, I'm very much so not gender conforming (whether I'm a gnc trans man or an aligned nonbinary person or genderqueer or bigender changes on which way the wind is blowing).
but even if I Did. even if I transitioned to the point of passing and chose to present as gender conforming and magically got on my feet and moved somewhere where nobody knew I was trans, I would still carry the violence that someone committed because I was a little girl once. my life Before all of that would still be with me, it would still weigh on me and Affect me.
and I'm Not saying this to present this experience as a Comparison. I'm not saying this to say that other people Haven't experienced something like this (they have, an unfortunate amount of people have), and I'm not saying this to say that You haven't (I don't know that, I couldn't know that).
but I Am saying this because it's Frustrating. it's Frustrating to be told over and over and over again that I don't have a perspective that's worth talking about. that I don't have Experiences that are worth talking about. that I am Privileged. that I couldn't Understand what it's like to experience misogyny. that people like me Don't experience violence. that people like me are identical to cis men once we Look a specific way (and it's assumed, of course, that we will eventually).
I have never seen an experience like mine in mainstream media, but it's taken for granted that I'm over represented and Boring. because being a man seems to cancel out everything else for some people. because "man" is presented without nuance as this homogeneous black and white Idea rather than a collection of People.
I think if I were ever allowed to transition, which I can't see happening within this decade just like it didn't within the last, I might consider myself some form of transfem. I like the idea of being seen as masculine And feminine. of the deep voice and facial hair, the square jaw, paired with breasts and pretty lips and pretty hair and pretty clothes.
but people look at me like that now, in those clothes, in hair longer than my ears, and they see a cis woman. they see something I'm not. so I shave my head and I admire the pretty things about myself behind closed doors.
I consider this a male experience, whatever I may be in a theoretical future I am also a trans man. and I have never seen this in media in my life. I've never Seen Myself.
and so it hurts to see it insisted that I'm the default. that it's not Worth considering that my experience may be one that Should be told. because people don't Think about people like me.
and most of the time they don't Mean anything by it. but it doesn't matter what they Mean if I'm not allowed to speak out about it myself. if my feelings, my experiences, my identity and life is assumed to not be worth speaking about.
what does it mean to be privileged among the marginalized? to be told that you don't Need to speak, that you Shouldn't Speak, that your speaking is harmful somehow because you don't have it Bad Enough to deserve it.
I made this post because I'm frustrated, and that's still true. I don't blame you and I don't blame the person who made the original post, and I really don't blame individuals in the first place. because it's not individual people, individuals are all just like me. people desperately reaching out for understanding and acceptance and support.
but for the atmosphere as a Whole to change we need to be willing to let people speak because they are people. because they have value by being people.
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I'm not blaming the op of the original post, or trying to imply anything about them as a person. and I don't want to single out this post in particular, because the issue is an broadly reaching trend rather than any one individual happening to write a post in five minutes one time.
but I really Really wish we'd stop and think if it's a good idea to say "girls turning into boys makes them inherently less interesting" on the transgender website
picking a privileged group to be the butt of a joke because it's lighthearted when nobody's actually getting hurt by doing so Only Works when everyone within that group is actually privileged. making jokes about how men are lesser than doesn't Actually affect the people who are actually within power, but Does chip away at the confidence and comfort of marginalized men who are In these communities to be exposed to it.
and the issue isn't about any one joke or poorly worded discussion in particular, but it's difficult to articulate why it can feel so alienating and unsafe to have things like this be so common within my communities without sounding ridiculous or risk being made fun of for not being able to take a joke. because the framing of implied privilege makes it easy to twist those feelings alienation into the entitlement that's assumed with men taking issue with being the butt Of a joke.
I simply think "this type of person is inherently lesser than" should be reexamined and thrown out as a talking point, even in a lighthearted context. because there will always be vulnerable people within those groups who already Hear that they are lesser than for existing
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chingyu1023vick · 6 months ago
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Patch 1.108
🧡 I finished checking my mods for the patch and the new Lovestruck pack. Today comes with many mod updates so please check my Google spreadsheet to ensure you get all necessary updates.
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🧡In case you missed it, a new mod has already been available to the public this month! 😊
NEW: Activity Lot Challenges
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July 28, 2024:
📌First Round of Mod Updates for patch 1.108:
Balanced Life {Merged Edition} V20
Updated for patch 1.108
Blue Fear V5
Updated to add Fears from EP16 Lovestruck Pack
Bye Bye Eye Ring (Better CAS Randomization) V3
Updated for patch 1.108
Custom Traits in Club Filter V25
Updated to include traits and turn on/ offs from EP16 Lovestruck Pack
Updated to include more traits from llazyneiph's Royalty mod
Higher CAS Story Skills V3
Updated to include Romance Skill from EP16 Lovestruck Pack
Introduction Hider / No Autonomy V6
Updated all introductions for patch 1.108
Added Romantic Introduction from EP16 Lovestruck Pack
Lot Traits Turned Challenges V2
Updated to include Singles Hangout from EP16 Lovestruck Pack
Massage Socials Fix V3
Updated for patch 1.108
More / Less Skill Boost from Moods V4
Updated for patch 1.108
Occult Fanatic Trait V4
Updated OccultInteractionsForFanaticOnly packages for patch 1.108
Walk Normally V5
Updated !chingyu_SleepyWalk and !chingyu_SleepyWalk_Dazed for patch 1.108
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🔨All my Custom Preferences Sets now require Zerbu's The Custom Preferences Mod to work!!! 🚨Get this required mod by @zerbu or else you will stuck with the loading screen and can't see my custom preferences in the game!!!🚨
FYI: Preferences with custom categories after patch 1.108 must be added to a common list shared with modders just like the venue list. Therefore, chingyu_ExtraCharacteristics from Sim Characteristics Overhaul and chingyu_addon_HolidayPreferences from Holiday Tradition Override are unaffected by the patch because they are not in a custom category.
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🔽 List of my Custom Preferences with this new mod requirement:
Age Group Custom Preferences
Character Value Custom Preferences
Instant CAS Story Preferences
Lunar Custom Preferences
Mood Custom Preferences
Motive Custom Preferences
Sims Qualities
Strength and Weakness Preferences
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❌Broken Mods Not Yet Updated for Patch 1.108:
Less Obsession
Smarter Self-Care
I'm going to update them as soon as possible. 💪 So many of the tunings in these two mods were edited so I have to re-do the mods.
I tagged some mods as required updates for adding compatibilities to traits/ skills/ minor features of the new pack on my spreadsheet but they are safe to be used in the game. My other mods and traits are compatible with the current patch. 
After fixing the rest of the broken mods, I will playtest with the pack more to see what extra features I can add to my mods with the new attraction system.
You may view the full changelog and patch note on my Mod Status on Google spreadsheet.
🔆 Changelog in July 2024 HERE
🔹 Links to ALL My Traits, Game Mods, and CCs
🔹List of IDs for creators who want to refer my traits to their own mods 
🔹 List of Chingyu’s CC Traits Name and Descriptions for mod users
🔹 Check Mod Status after a patch & Compatibilities
👁‍🗨 Learn how to install a mod & FAQs
👁‍🗨 Terms of Use
👁‍🗨 Ask Questions/ Suggestions/ Bug Reports on Discord
▶ I need to see a screenshot or LE report to help you figure out what’s wrong!
👁‍🗨 Download on my Patreon
👁‍🗨 Follow me on Twitter
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fleapit · 1 year ago
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hi. why is nobody talking about the porn ban in north carolina? the PAVE act is a bill that was passed back in september 2023 (came into law january 1st 2024) that effectively bans users from viewing websites hosting adult content without age verification. (link to the bill)
"-the act legally requires commercial ventures to verify users’ ages if a company “knowingly and intentionally publishes or distributes material harmful to minors on the internet from a website that contains a substantial portion of such material.”
In order to do so, North Carolina requires these sites to either use “a commercially available database that is regularly used by businesses or governmental entities for the purpose of age and identity verification,” or utilize “another commercially reasonable method of age and identity verification.” Companies are not allowed to hold records on any personally identifying information used to confirm users’ ages.
Additionally, North Carolina offers residents the right to a lawsuit if a site is found to record user identifying information, or if a minor’s parent or guardian finds that a website allowed their child to access a site purposefully hosting material “harmful to minors.”" obviously we don't want these websites having our IDs, but sites like e621 and pornhub just straight up aren't asking for them either- blocking their service to the state in it's entirety instead. even beyond the restriction of adult websites, obviously as the 'queerest place on the net' we can see how "material that is harmful to minors" is not just intentional vague wording, but a massive red flag. even if you dont care about the porn- which you should, this is a massive rights violation. how long until 'harmful material' is expanded to include transgender people? same-sex relationships? anything lgbtq? this is a serious fucking problem and it opens the door to hundreds of potentially worse bills that extrapolate on the same concept.
i have no idea what to do to fight it, but if someone smarter than me could add links to representatives or something, that would be awesome.
i'm also going to tag a few people to get this post out: @polyamorouspunk @safety-pin-punk @doggirlbreasts (i have no idea who else to tag, if any of you can think of someone who can help this post get out there, please tag them!)
4K notes · View notes
nsharks · 1 month ago
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bleeding blue | apocalypse au
part twenty-two —other parts
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pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x fem!reader words: 5.2k tags: death. blood. cannibalism mention. zombies of course. AFAB reader. single dad ghost. there will be sex but it isn’t here yet. slow burn!!! enemies to lovers. summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival. a/n: I'm sorry lmaooo nine months... hopefully we can finish this thing!
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"Hold him close to your chest, or he'll jump out of your arms. Here—like this."
Blue gently cradles the rabbit, then carefully tucks him into Ari's arms, guiding his hands to scoop under Grim's fluffy rear. She can't help but find it amusing that the boy who had taken her riding on such a large animal yesterday looks so wary holding a harmless bunny. A giggle bubbles up, and she bites her lip to keep it in.
"He's so... squirmy."
Blue keeps her hand on Grim, reassuring both the rabbit and him. "He's just ready for his breakfast. Want to help me feed him?"
"Sure."
Blue leads Ari to the hutch where the other rabbits are. She explains her morning routine, showing him how to supply the rabbits with enough grass, leaves, and berries to keep them healthy and plump. Not long ago, she was explaining this to Twix—the very person she forgot to say good morning to in a rush to find Ari outside. This time around, she wonders if Ari is genuinely interested or just being polite. She finds herself stealing glances at his face, studying his expressions perhaps longer than she should. His almond-shaped eyes and dark pink lips catch her attention.
He's cute.
It's not the first time the thought has crossed her mind since these strangers appeared. Cute like the men in her magazines, though he's not quite a man. Not in the way Ghost is. But he's taller than her by a head and two years older, evident in the notch on his throat and the deeper timbre of his voice.
But it doesn't matter. They are only here for a few days.
Blue closes the hutch and rocks on the soles of her boots. "Well, that was probably boring, huh? We could, um, go hunting if you want. Or to the pond. It's fun to swim there. Or maybe—" She pauses, mentally sifting through the limited activities available, frustration creeping in as none of them seem particularly impressive.
"This wasn't boring. Now I know rabbits are just as friendly as horses." He smiles.
"They are... except when Grim gets mad. Then he can be a bit of a jerk. Like if you accidentally step on his tail."
"I'd be pretty pissed if someone stepped on my tail, too."
"You don't have a tail."
"It's just a joke."
"Oh..." she fidgets with a strand of hair. "Right."
"The pond sounds good. It is fucking hot." Ari blows out a breath and swipes at the back of his neck.
"I know. So hot. Hot as balls."
Ari raises an amused brow. "Yeah, uh, hot as balls. Are you allowed to go by yourself, or do we need to ask your dad?"
"I get to do what I want," she lies easily with a shrug. "Buuuuut, we can ask Twix to go with us."
As long as Twix is with her, she suspects she can get away with not asking Ghost, who luckily is hunting with his old captain. It's not that he seems distrusting with these people as he did those first few months with Twix. Rather—she isn't thrilled about him knowing every little thing she does. She's never had anything just to herself. 
Twix is sitting on the porch, looking rather deep in thought as she skins a squirrel. Her hair is long, curtaining her face. When Blue asks if she wants to go to the pond, she agrees easily, claiming she has been meaning to cut her hair anyway with the encroaching warmth of summer. Nereida joins, too. 
Even early, the air is sticky, and the pond is cool and inviting. Ari rips his shirt off and jumps in without even a second to waste. Blue usually swims in her underwear and shirt, but she hesitates with her thumb in the belt loops of her jeans. She didn't consider that he would see her in her underwear. 
A soft touch to her shoulder. It's Twix. "Want me to grab you shorts real quick?"
"Um... yes. Yes please."
She changes into the shorts behind a tree. There is an odd pit in her stomach when she gets in the water. She doesn't quite know what it is, but it's similar to how she feels when she's scared sometimes. Ghost always tells her fear is a useless thing. It doesn't keep you alive. So she ignores it, shoves it down deep, and swims over to Ari with a purposeful splash that even wets Twix, who sits at the edge sharpening her knife.
"Damn. That's gonna cost you."
A splash is given in return, and then they are playing. High noon bounces shimmering light off the water as she tries to keep up with him, but at one point he sneaks up on her and she ends up with a mouthful. Nereida spends her time picking at some bunches of rosemary and Twix cuts her hair. But Blue doesn't notice any of that too much. When the water stills and they pause to catch their breath, Ari climbs onto a rock and shakes out his wet hair. She is quick to find a perch beside him. Absentmindedly, she pinches the bottom of her wet shirt to keep it from sticking to her chest.
"Woah. What happened here?"
Ari leans over to tap her thigh. 
"Oh—" she looks down at the thick scar, "I got shot there."
"Shit. You've been shot before?"
She nods and he moves his hand. "That's your battle scar."
"Battle scar?"
He smiles, eyes gleaming. "It's nice to have some place to swim so close by. Back at our old camp, there was lake but it was a few miles away, so my mom rarely let me go."
"I'm sorry, you know. About your mom. Mine is dead, too."
He half-smiles. "Thanks. I don't think about it too much anymore. My uncle and I have always been close so it helped to have him there." He nudges her shoulder. "You're damn lucky to have such a cool dad, huh?"
"Ghost?"
"Yeah, that guy is a beast. My uncle says they called him Ghost because no one could ever see him coming before suddenly, they were dead." 
"Oh, yeah, he is super cool," she quickly agrees. "He has taught me a lot."
"Shit, really?"
Nibbling the inside of her cheek, she shrugs to feign indifference. "I know how to throw knives pretty well."
"I gotta see that." His smirk etches a light dimple into his cheek. Then, his eyes flash behind her. "So what's up with his girlfriend?"
"Huh?" A divot forms between her brows before she follows his gaze, landing on Twix, whose hair is now just past her shoulders. She is wetting it, running her fingers through the newly cut strands. "Oh—Twix. That is not his girlfriend. She is my friend."
"You mean they don't sleep together?"
"Like in the same bed?"
"That's usually where people fuck, yeah."
He seems ready to laugh. She frowns, head tilting as confusion hums in her chest. "You mean like sex?"
He nods. "You know what that is, right?"
"Yeah, of course. I know all about it."
"You know they're probably doing it, right?"
"Ghost and Twix? No—no," she forces a laugh. "I mean, sometimes I catch him staring at her all weird. But I don't think—I mean, they hardly like each other and she is my friend, really, not his. He used to make me stay away from her, even. But I mean, they do spend a lot of time together now. It's usually to practice fighting and defense. Not to have...sex."
"Don't they share a room?"
"Just right now, because you guys are here."
Ari chuckles. "You really think they aren't fucking in there? She's really pretty. There's no way they aren't."
Blue looks back at Twix. Blue's fingers curl into the soaked fabric of her top. Her eyes flick back to him. "She would've told me if they were."
"If you say so."
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Your thumb throbs in rhythm with the steady pump of Kyle's arms. Despite pressing it into your palm to dull the pain, the ache persists. You had nicked it while sawing off your hair, and now the taste of blood lingers in your mouth. You were still lapping at the painful pulse when the three men arrived to the pond, carrying a neon orange inflatable raft. They want to test it out on the water before embarking on the 35-kilometer journey across the channel. 
It is the third day of their presence and you can honestly say you've grown more comfortable, given that Kyle has gone hunting with you a few times now. He is easy to talk to, along with Nereida. Price—however—doesn't seem intrigued by you, or maybe you are insignificant in comparison to the rest that is on his mind. That's fair. You don't all need to be friends.
They've been spending most of their time gathering food. Ghost has been helping Price hunt deer to skin and dry into jerky they can take with them. Nereida showed you a patch of wild strawberries she found yesterday, boiling them down into jams before canning them. By having food with them, they will save time from having to hunt along the way. In perfect conditions, it would be a straight path, and they could make it to the Swiss mountains within a month or two. But it won't be a straight path, and obstacles are bound to hinder them.
Kyle audibly growls and straightens, wiping at his percolated brow. "This chamber just isn't inflating."
"It must have a hole somewhere. Check the seams," Price says.
Ghost flips the half-filled raft over with ease, running his fingers along the PVC. "Here." He taps what must be a minuscule puncture because you can't see it from where you sit. 
They patch it up with the little adhesive they have. The unease is noticeable as Kyle keeps pumping in air; they only have enough to cover a few holes, if they come across more. Finally, the six-person raft is full and they toss it onto the pond. Just the sight gets you thinking of all the variables they have to think of on the open water: the weather, currents, temperature. You had a friend in high school who swam across it once. She didn't get even halfway but having to pulled out, vomiting, and near-hypothermia. Open seawater is different than a pool. Unpredictable and quick to change.
"It seems sturdy." Nereida winds an arm around her husband's waist, pressing a chaste kiss to the underside of his jaw. "Don't worry about it."
"As long as it stays sturdy."
"It will," she assures him.
The cut has crusted over by the time evening settles and you have to will yourself not to pick at it. You find yourself alone with the horse, watching the sun set behind the trees, as everyone else eats. 
"You probably don't like being tied up here, huh? You'd rather be running around." The coarse mane engrosses your fingers. Cherry bobs her head and a wet muzzle brushes your elbow. It tickles and you smile softly. "I wonder what will happen to you once they leave," you whisper. "Horses can't fit in a raft, huh?"
"No, they can't."
A hand presses into her neck beside yours, the person's arm extending over your shoulder. You crane your neck at Kyle but his eyes are on the animal, thoughtful, brows lowered. You wet your lips and step to the side to bring more space between your bodies. 
"Not hungry either?" you ask.
Finally he looks at you, lips quirked at the side. "Nah. I had a big lunch." He stops petting her and crosses his arms, chin tilting. "Ever ridden a horse before?"
"Once or twice. As a kid."
His eyes almost lean dark green in the cast of orange light, but it must be a mere illusion. "Care to go for a ride?"
His eyebrow rises expectantly. You glance back at the cabin and then at Cherry. "Why not?"
He instructs you how to get on. You grip the knob of the saddle and flex your core, hoisting yourself with more strength than you've had to use in a few days. Kyle sits behind you and grips the reins after untying her. The last time you were on a horse was for a friend's birthday party; you trekked through a ranch on a white pony. Cherry is much taller than that one was, or maybe you're not fond of being so high up. You thread your fingers through her mane.
It is a silent ride at first as you try to ignore the sting on your butt, unused to firm leather seat. He must notice your discomfort because he tells you to relax and lean back. You do, until your spine brushes against his chest. It helps a little.
Cherry trots calmly through the trees, towards the circle of stumps that marks the east. 
"Do you think she will be able to take care of herself?" you break the quiet. 
"I'm sure she will be fine. Smart girl, huh, Cherry?"
The sun has disappeared but it isn't quite dark yet. "Are you scared?"
A breathy chuckle emits from behind you. He must realize what you are referring to—scared for the journey. "Yeah, always. I mean—I'm scared about Ari. He's the last family I got, and as old as he thinks he is, he's still young and naive. I still have to make choices for him."
"I was terrified of losing Joseph," you admit, and swallow. "He was so young and fragile. It felt like...like trying to keep an egg from cracking when your hands are made of stone. But at least I never had to take him to another country."
"That was your nephew? Joseph?"
You nod. 
"Tell me about him."
You rack your brain. "Well, he was seven. And he..." You smile to yourself. "He was the pickiest eater in the world, even when we were all starving. I could not get him to eat meat unless I practically burned it. And he liked to look at bugs. I did, too, when I was young. I used to dig up worms when it rained to show him." He hums a gentle laugh behind you. You find yourself lost in the thought of it for a second. "Sometimes I...I think about how once I die, there will be no one left to remember those little things about him. Then, he will be completely gone, you know?"
You don't know why you're telling him this. You shake your head. "Sorry."
"Don't be. We gotta talk about shit like that or else we'll go crazy."
"I'm pretty sure I'm already crazy."
"Probably." A deer passes to the left and Cherry startles, but he is quick to soothe her with a flick of the reins and a stern—easy. She settles. "Are you scared?" he asks after a moment.
"Of what?"
"Of traveling so far."
"Well, I don't know if Ghost..." you trail off, absorbing the tone of his voice. You stiffen. "Wait, what do you mean?"
"I mean how we're all leaving in a month."
"Wait—stop." You grip his hand over the rein with more force than necessary, urging him to bring Cherry to a halt. You twist your spine and gape at him. "What are you talking about?"
He eyes you with a frown, and rubs his neck. "Shit. I thought he already told you."
"No, he didn't. Tell me," you demand.
He clears his throat. "He, uh, agreed to come this morning, but only if we take another month to prepare and shit. Get his daughter ready, sort things out."
You try not tremble in anger as his words sink in, clenching your hands as your breath picks up. "Take me back," you breathe out, brain racing. "I want to go back now."
The ride back is silent. You feel shaken. Your nail digs deep into the nick on your thumb unthinkingly until there is a smear of blood over your fingers. The others are getting ready for bed when the two of you return, moon bright. You bite your tongue until Ghost leaves to his room, then you follow him, closing the door as gently as you can behind you.
He is halfway through peeling off his socks and stuffing them in his boots when you approach. "What happened to being a man of your word?" 
He looks up, resting his palms on his parted knees, looking far too relaxed for your liking. 
When he doesn't respond, you add, "You were supposed to tell me. You said you fucking would."
Your voice is low but harsh.
He stands, a calm understanding washing through his eyes. "I was about to tell you."
You throw up your arms but try to stay quiet. "Bullshit. You're just saying that now. You've had all day to tell me."
"I was waiting for the right time."
"You think I can't handle it," you accuse, an ugly snarl on your face. "That I don't deserve to be apart of these conversations even after everything I have done for you, and for her. I saved her life! You get pissed at me for not telling you about stupid things, meanwhile you don't communicate something so important like we are leaving with them in a month to fucking Switzerland. Does Blue know? Or do you keep your own blood in the dark, too?"
He growls quietly and takes hold of your chin, tilting your gaze to his. His touch is firm but far from bruising. "I am not lying to you. I wanted to have a conversation right now, where it could just be us. And no—I haven't told her. How I explain this to my child is not your concern." There is a command in his voice that forces you to calm down some, but your breath is still warm through your nose. He moves his hand to gently thumb a strand of shortened hair off your forehead, staring at it for a second, before gripping your chin again. "There is nothing I think you cannot handle. Now, who told you about this?"
Blotches of red crawl over your cheeks. "It doesn't...it doesn't matter."
He is visibly unsatisfied. He taps his thumb against your chin. "Tell me."
"It was...Kyle," you concede in an exhale. "He assumed I already knew."
His eyes darken. "It wasn't his place to assume."
"He didn't mean to." You reach up to pry his hand off, and he relents, leaving your jaw feeling sore. You rub it. "Why a month?" You try to change the topic.
He takes a deep, steadying breath and looks away, jaw flexing. "She needs time. I want to prepare her for all possible outcomes. I still don't think she is ready, but that doesn't matter. There won't be another opportunity like this in the future. I have to make her ready." He sits down on the edge of the bed and sits his elbows on his thighs, collecting his thoughts before adding, "And the weather is a big factor. Just because we have means to get across the water doesn't mean it will happen safely. The current is most predictable in July and August. We will wait until then."
You mentally sort through everything he is saying, willing yourself not to linger on the fact that you are beyond scared. Scared to leave the place you have finally felt safe in. Scared to clearly be the odd one out again. A tag-along. Everyone else in this group has a loved one looking out for them. You have yourself. You don't know if you have Ghost, really—not when Blue is the one he loves. His allegiance can only go so far.
"Okay," you whisper, more to yourself than to him. "A month, then. What about shelter? The nights will be our most vulnerable."
"We'll look for the safest places for the night. There'd be seven of us, so plenty of eyes to keep watch."
"And what if we run into a horde?"
"Well, we have plenty of ammo now for that." He flicks his eyes up to yours. "Thanks to you."
You nibble your cheek, palming your chest as if to calm your heart. 
"A month," he reminds you. "We will account for everything."
"Okay," you say again. There is a tinge of embarrassment over your outburst, but he doesn't seem fazed, as if you hadn't just barged in the room yelling at him. "Okay."
A click of his tongue. "Any more questions?"
"Not...not for now, I guess."
A few silent beats pass. The tension has left the room, leaving you with a wave of fatigue. Ghost must notice because he rises, gesturing to the bed. "Go on, then." 
The bed is yours again. Too exhausted to question it, you slip under the quilt, curling into a fetal position by the slanted ceiling. It's best to enjoy the warmth before you're back on the move. A week journeying through the woods was the worst you'd ever endured, barely surviving. Now, it'll be months, or however long it takes to reach the goddamn Swiss mountains.
The light flicks off. There is a groan in the mattress and heady warmth spills over you. Your eyes fly open. "What are you doing?"
"Getting some sleep."
You turn around to see him lying beside you, flat on his back, with his arms crossed behind his head. "Together?"
"Clearly neither of us fancies the floor."
You flush, feeling his firm thigh brush against yours. "Just... keep to your side."
"I'll be a gentleman, if you're worried."
"I'm not," you mumble. "How do you even sleep in that thing, by the way?"
"Like a baby."
"Don't you think it's weird that Kyle has seen you without it and I haven't?"
"Jealousy doesn't suit you, Twix."
"And mental sanity doesn't suit you, Simon."
"Don't recall giving you permission to use that name."
"What, only your old captain gets to use it? How close were the two of you, exactly?"
Teasing him feels better than you're willing to admit.
He grunts. A pillow is thrashed against the side of your face. "Go to sleep."
"Yes, sir," you bite into the pillow.
Your instinct is to flinch closer to the edge, though it is difficult given the small size of the bed and the unnatural size of him. Your knees float off the mattress. Still, his sprawled-out position leaves points of connection. Your back, his elbow. Your feet, his calf. Small touches that do a surprisingly good job at soothing the mess in your brain.
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You awake. Warm and rested.
Safe.
Morning light streams in, turning the backs of your eyelids red. Your face nudges forward until your nose brushes against fabric—a shirt. Awareness settles in slowly. Your toes stretch and brush against another set of toes. You realize you’re curled close against someone.
He’s still on his back, his right arm draped across your waist, fingertips resting on your exposed hip. Your breath hitches, and you do your best not to flinch. Your face is nuzzled into his chest, close enough to discern ribs from muscle. His steady breathing and gentle rumbles indicate he’s still asleep. You’re ready to peel yourself away when you notice your leg is on top of his, practically trapping him.
Fuck.
You stay still, devising a plan to extricate yourself without him noticing the position you're in. Then, in one swift motion, you leap up, removing all contact, and breathe hard as if ripped from a nightmare.
His eyes open and he swears. "Jesus. What was that?"
"Just a dream," you lie. "Sorry for waking you."
You jump out of the bed and practically run out before he can say anything; before he can realize how odd it'd be for you to have a dream when you haven't had one since... since staying in his room.
You lock yourself in the bathroom and grip the counter, knuckles whitening in the attempt to erode the feel of his warmth that seems to linger. A lump is forced down your throat as you lean back against the wall and close your eyes for a moment. When they reopen, you look down and lift your shirt, only to find the indent of strong fingertips brandishing your plush hip. Jesus. Your stomach knots and unknots. 
"You didn't like that," you whisper to yourself. You brush your thumb over the marks, gently at first, then palming them hard as if to erase them. You drop your shirt and look at the mirror. "You did not like that."
Before someone can stumble upon you talking to yourself, you comb your fingers through tousled strands and slip out. It seems most others are awake. How could you and Ghost have slept so long? Usually, the two of you are up with the sun. 
"Hey. Morning," you greet when you spot Blue on the porch, belly down, as she plays checkers with Kyle's nephew. She glances over her shoulder. Something in her bright eyes seems...off, but you can't put your finger on it.
"Hi. Is Ghost up yet?"
"Hm? Oh, uh—not sure. I didn't check, really."
"Okay." She looks back at the game and says nothing else. You feel as though she saw right through you. Or maybe that boy has told her everything. Surely he knows about Ghost's plans? Kyle had to have told him. Maybe that is why Blue seems upset, but like he said, it isn't your place to say anything. 
You are itching for a hunt. 
It feels urgent, for some reason. Like you want to get out of here before Ghost can be up, too. You find Kyle and he suggests that the two of you take Cherry so you can get go further south where he claims there is a meadow to look for deer. It is difficult to ride with him behind you and a bow on your back, so he wears it for you. You can feel his eyes on the back of your head.
"Awfully quiet this morning. Penny for your thoughts?"
"I talked to him," is what you give. "Last night."
"Ah. How'd that go?"
"It was fine. I mean, I am getting used to the idea."
"That's good. It'll be worth it, you know. Once we get there. Finally get to have a semblance of a normal life."
A normal life. You almost snort at the thought. 
The morning grows longer, and not even the haircut can save you from the sweat that gathers. You make it to the meadow after an hour of horseback that leaves your thighs bristling. He helps you down and ties Cherry to a tree. You wade through tall, bright grasses that sway in the humid breeze. It looks vaguely familiar, stirring something in your gut that has your boots frozen for a moment. 
Kyle looks back at you, noticing that you've stopped following. "Good?"
"I just—I think I've been here once before. When I was on my own. I came this way." Your eyes scan the surrounding trees, where the meadow feeds into the forest, and an a gnarly oak with distinctive branches catches your eye. "I definitely have been here. I slept in that tree."
You push into the meadow, shaking off the memory. Staying close to Kyle, you listen as he lightly shares memories from the military, careful not to startle any potential deer. He talks about his time in Afghanistan, mentioning that his brother was also there, but at a different base. Kyle didn't even know his brother had died until weeks later because he was out in the field.
"After Afghanistan is when I met Ghost the first time."
"Oh?"
He nods. "He was my lieutenant when I went to Russia. I was scared shitless of him at first. I mean, he had a bit of a reputation and I was only 22."
"He was good at what he did," you say.
"More than that. People said he was up to some shit outside of what he did, but that was just rumors."
You think you spot a streak of gold through the grass, but it is just a stalk of wild wheat. You look back at him. "What do you mean?"
"May have heard a thing or two about him killing a guy off-duty. Of course, unconfirmed, otherwise he wouldn't have been enlisted again."
He killed someone? Like actual murder? You're about to ask more, your mind flashing back to your face pressed against him an hour earlier. Then you spot a deer. Kyle sees it too and motions for you to stay quiet. Your boots are nearly silent as you draw an arrow, squinting to see clearer. There are three deer: an adult female and two fawns. You draw the string and aim for the adult, the easier target.
"I'll get the doe," you whisper.
"Gotcha."
The beady black eyes turn your way, and you hesitate for a moment. There's movement, a flash of grey, and the doe snaps her eyes in another direction. What is she looking at? Your brows furrow, arrow following her gaze, when the answer appears: a Grey launching toward the deer. The three deer run off, and you release the arrow, aiming for the Grey's head instead.
"Motherfucker. Ruined the kill," Kyle mutters.
You weave toward the corpse, surprised to see such a fast one alone, indicating a new infection. The stench is pungent, enveloping you in a thick cloud. You shudder. The Grey writhes, your arrow lodged in its neck instead of its brain. You draw another arrow and aim when a hand suddenly grips your shoulder.
"Twix," Kyle breathes in your ear.
"What?" 
You look away from the Grey and follow Kyle's gaze, your eyes widening in horror as you realize the terrible smell isn't from this single creature. It's hundreds. A dark, grey mist that unfurls through the trees. A growing chorus of agony as their tattered bodies collide—some limping, others hurtling forward in a grotesque dance, but all converging on the meadow.
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guiltyasdave · 7 months ago
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like snow on the beach
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pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader
word count: ~2.8k
summary: You're on a work trip with your boss, who you don't like and who you're convinced doesn't like you either. Unfortunately, there's only one bed.
tags/warnings: only one bed trope (ayyyy), fluff, idiots in love, alternating povs, reader has hair that drips down her neck after showering at one point but there are no texture or color descriptors, able-bodied reader, no use of y/n, my nonexistent knowledge of colombian geography which i'm asking you to ignore for the sake of this silly story THANK YOU
a/n: my entry for the summer lovin' challenge brought to us by queens @pedgito, @chaotic-mystery and @amanitacowboy <3 i got the moodboard you see in the header and the location by the water. i'm also posting a little early but i'm too excited and it's almost midnight here so i think it's gonna be fine hehe
biggest love to @sizzlingcloudmentality who held my hand through writing this and patiently listened to all my complaints lol. i love drinking more caffeine than pedro and writing with you while getting distracted by cats <3
dividers by @plum98!
find my full masterlist here and follow @guiltyasdavenotifs to get notified when i post a new fic :)
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You’re hot, too hot. 
It’s disorienting, as you blink awake, slow to get your bearings. Arms are wrapped around you, caging you in, engulfing you in the warmth of the body pressed against your back. Hot air is fanning against your neck, accompanied by a scratching sensation on the sensitive skin. 
Your surroundings are unfamiliar, faded wallpaper in an unappealing shade of green and light filtering in through the battered up blinds. It comes back to you in pieces, the motel you’re staying at, the small Colombian town where you’re hoping to get a hold of one of the Cali cartel men. 
The obnoxious scent of Peña’s aftershave is flooding your nostrils, paired with the traces of tobacco that follow him everywhere he goes. It’s honestly embarrassing, how easily you recognize it.
It clicks into place now. The arms around you, the warmth. The scratch that you now realize is his mustache as he’s breathing against your neck.
You start wriggling around, causing the man behind you to stir, a confused groan coming out slightly muffled, his mouth still so close to your skin. He lets go of you after a second, allowing you to turn around and glare at him. 
His face is already forming his signature annoyed scowl, an expression that you’re more than well acquainted with.
“What the hell are you doing?!” 
He sounds different like this, voice still thick with sleep, a hint of the disorientation that you’ve shaken off by now. 
“What am I doing? I woke up with your arms around me, Peña.” 
He blinks, shifting to sit up and lean against the headboard. You mirror him, putting as much space between you as the rather small bed frame allows. 
“Sorry,” he allows after a beat, running a hand through his hair, tousling the mess of black strands that has formed in his sleep. “That wasn’t… appropriate. I apologize.” 
If you weren’t as annoyed right now, you’d probably think that he looks adorable like this. The you from a few months ago would most likely go wild at seeing Javier Peña right after waking up, after he held you in his arms no less. 
The you from a few months ago hadn’t experienced what an asshole of a boss he could be yet, hadn’t been taken off investigations again and again, because Peña thought you weren’t ready. She also hadn’t heard about his terrible reputation with women, hadn’t been subjected to all the office gossip that surrounded him yet. 
Now, after days of practically begging him to take you along on this trip because the whole investigation was based on information that you had gathered, you’re stuck in this motel room with him. Something about your booking of two single rooms accidentally having been processed as one double room, with no other rooms available because of course there weren’t. 
Peña had offered to sleep on the ground, or in the car, but you had waved him off, thinking about how often he had complained how his back was getting worse the older he got on the drive here. You hadn’t expected to wake up to him all but wrapped around you. 
Maybe a small, very small part of you is still going wild about it. A part that you can easily swallow down though. He’s objectively attractive, yes. Doesn’t change the fact that he’s an asshole.
“Just forget it,” you mumble, heat rising belatedly in your cheeks. Gathering your clothes for the day, you flee to the bathroom, eager to wash the whole decidedly weird situation off your body and out of your mind. You’re here because you have a job to do, not to get flustered around your boss. 
When you reemerge, wet strands of your hair dripping down your neck, he’s already dressed, clasping his hands in a way that almost seems nervous. If you weren’t pretty convinced that Javier Peña isn’t physically able to get nervous. 
“I– I’m really sorry,” he repeats, raising from the worn down arm chair he’s been sitting in. “I didn’t mean to put you in an uncomfortable position. I’m not– I’m not exactly used to sharing a bed.”
A scoff leaves you at that. Sure, Agent Peña, who’s notorious for sleeping with his informants and with at least half of the female staff of the American embassy, isn’t used to sharing his bed. 
“Don’t worry about it, Peña.” 
You turn away before he can reply, collecting your notes on the investigation that you hope will come in helpful eventually. You don’t catch the remorseful look in his eyes, or the way they linger on you as you open the door, the early morning light illuminating your figure.
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It’s another day filled with nothing but waiting and growing frustration, just like the one before. The sun is beating down on the car that you’re occupying, the heat suffocating even with the windows rolled down and the cool bottle of water that you’re pressing against your neck.
Minutes tick by, turning into hours that go by too quickly and seem to last forever at the same time. Peña is surprisingly quiet, not goading you in the way you had expected him to. 
“Maybe the information was bad,” you mumble eventually, sinking deeper into the car seat. The leather is sticking uncomfortably to your skin and you can’t shake the growing feeling that you’ve insisted on coming out here for nothing.
He slowly turns his head in your direction, regarding you through the dark tint of his aviators. 
“I looked at it. We wouldn’t be here if it was bad.” 
You huff, your patience running short and shorter at the subtle indication of his superiority, his quiet arrogance, always so fucking sure of himself.
“You weren’t exactly thrilled about coming here, remember?”
He raises a brow, a hint of impatience on his own features.
“I wasn’t thrilled about you coming here.” 
You roll your eyes, openly scowling at him now. 
“It’s my intel.”
“Doesn’t make it less dangerous, does it?” 
Biting your lip, you force your blood to not boil over. He’s still your boss, at the end of the day, someone you probably shouldn’t start cussing out, no matter how openly he underestimates you and how badly it annoys you. And you’re gonna have to share that wretched bed with him again tonight. 
Javier watches your face, watches you swallow down your anger, watches your teeth digging into your plush bottom lip. He understands your frustration, understands that no part of this trip is turning out the way you expected it to. 
You’re still new to the workfield, not yet experienced with the hours upon hours of waiting, more often than not without a satisfying result to show for it. If he’s being honest with himself, he isn’t mad about it this time. He’ll rather have you frustrated than in danger. 
You want to prove yourself, you’ve made that abundantly clear. You work hard, determined to bring in results, hungry for praise. It’s not that he doesn’t see that, doesn’t think that you’re capable. But he’s seen enough, enough injuries, enough psychological trauma, enough deaths, to know that he wants you far away from that side of your work. 
Even if that means you’re angry at him more often than not, a glint of bitterness in your eyes every time he refuses to send you out yet again. 
After another few hours, accompanied by the increasing rumbling in both your stomachs, he finally calls it quits for the day. 
“We can drive back to Bogotá tomorrow,” he quietly offers on the way back to the motel, after picking up food for the both of you and refusing to let you pay for your share. “Gather more information, see why we didn’t find anything.”
You huff in return, irritated about the whole situation. The one chance you had to convince him to take you seriously, and this is what you get. “Fine,” you agree, gritting your teeth. Maybe your intel was bad. Maybe you just aren’t that good at your job.
“Keep to your side of the bed tonight,” you grumble later, after the bored woman at the reception told you that there still aren't any other rooms available. 
“Of course,” he sighs, sliding under the covers with the biggest possible distance from you.
You nod, closing your eyes and willing for sleep to take you, but it’s a losing game. You toss and turn, feeling both too hot and too cold at the same time, unable to find a comfortable position and to get the voices in your head to shut up. 
When you roll over yet again, his voice rings through the dark, somewhat agitatedly asking what’s wrong. 
“Nothing,” comes your frustrated reply, pressing your face deeper into the cushion, your eyes squeezed shut. After a few more breaths and zero sign of your brain slowing down, you turn towards him, only able to make out his silhouette in the dark. Your judgment is probably hazy with how tired you are, but the words are out of your mouth before you can think them over.
“Can I ask you a question, Agent Peña?” 
“Javier is fine.” 
Your heart gives a tiny flutter, despite your conflicted feelings about him, despite the question that you’re about to ask. 
“Why do you not like me?” 
It’s inappropriate, especially right now, lying in the dark and sharing a fucking bed with him. But you think that if you don’t ask now, you probably never will, and you need to know. 
“Why would you think that I don’t like you?” 
You huff, squinting at him. “It’s pretty obvious. You don’t trust my work, you never send me to go out, dismiss my intel most of the time–” 
It’s silent for a long time, safe for his quiet breaths. 
“That’s not–” He sighs deeply, turning his head towards you as well. “That’s not true. You’re making it about yourself when you shouldn’t. I treat you exactly like your colleagues, you’re the one taking it personal.” 
It’s curt, dismissive. Laced with carefully feigned indifference, bordering on coldness. Too carefully. You didn’t think he’d lie to you if you asked him this directly, but here you are. 
Blinking back angry tears, you roll onto your back again, unseeingly staring at the ceiling. You don’t understand why it hits you like this. You’ve had shitty bosses before, far worse than Peña. You’ve just never wanted them to like you the way you want him to. 
“Good night, Agent Peña.” You turn onto your other side, your back towards him. 
“Good night,” comes his solemn reply. 
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You don’t wake up with his arms around you again, thankfully, but he hasn’t exactly kept to his side of the bed either. One hand is curled over your shoulder, like he had to reach out and hold onto you in his sleep. 
You’re the one taking it personal. 
Clearly he hasn’t been reaching for you specifically. It’s probably just second nature for him, something that usually goes well with the women sharing his bed. 
You’re able to shake his hold off without waking him up, something that you’re grateful for. 
When he wakes and repeats how he thinks you should abandon the investigation, you don’t argue. It’s a quiet affair, packing up and getting ready to leave. 
Sitting in the driver’s seat, he turns to you, his brow furrowed into that moody expression you’ve gotten used to. “I’ve been thinking,” he begins, eyeing you warily. “We’re not far from the ocean right now. Have you been to the beach since you came to Colombia?” 
You raise an eyebrow in mild suspicion, curious where he’s going with this. 
“I haven’t been out of Bogotá since I landed there. But–” 
His eyes grow softer, his hand twitching like he almost reached out towards you. 
“No buts. At least then it won’t have been a total waste of time to come here, right?” 
The dig towards you, towards the reason you drove all the way out here for nothing isn’t lost on you. You don’t have it in you to argue against it, so you just nod, staring straight ahead. 
Javier realizes how badly you misunderstood his words as soon as they’re out of his mouth and he sees your face. He doesn’t know how he consistently manages to fuck up his interactions with you like this. It’s not him, the blundering, the words constantly coming out all wrong, but you make him nervous in a way that he hasn’t experienced in years. 
He starts driving, hopeful to somehow still be able to turn this trip around. There’s a whole day on the road ahead of them, and he’d much rather spend those hours without feeling like he’s made you hate him. 
You do soften at the sight of the ocean, the sound of waves rolling against the shore having a soothing effect almost instantly. It’s beautiful, the water a brilliant blue, the sun glittering on the surface. You can’t be mad right now, not even at Javier, who’s keeping his distance, letting you wander along the shore by yourself. 
You focus on taking in the scenery, hoping to somehow take it with you to when you’re back in your bleak, government issued apartment, staring at the vastness of gray buildings that is of Bogotá. 
When you turn back to him, his eyes are already on you, less tense, more open than you’re used to. You don’t know how long they’ve been lingering on you, how little attention he had been paying to the nature surrounding you. How good it had felt, to see you like this, without the usual distaste in your face that you have come to regard him with most of the time. The silhouette of you against the bright sky, your skin glowing under the beaming sun. 
“Thank you,” you say, actually smiling at him. A spark of warmth grows in his chest. “This was a good idea, I– I enjoyed it.” 
“I’m glad.” He eagerly returns the smile, allows himself to reach out and graze one finger against the soft skin of your hand. Finding himself unable to stop touching you, now that he’s had a taste of it.
Confusion crosses your face before you quickly avert your eyes, but you don’t pull away. It gives him a sliver of hope, that maybe you’re starting to understand what he doesn’t know how to tell you. 
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After a mostly quiet drive back, both of you too exhausted to talk much, Javier drops you off at your apartment, his hand once again hovering over yours before you get out. 
“Good night,” he breathes, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. After a moment of hesitation, he continues on. “You– you’re doing good work. Don’t beat yourself up over this, okay?” 
You manage a nod, murmuring thank you, Javier before opening the car door and stepping out onto your street, illuminated by the glow of yellow lights. You only realize that you used his first name by the time that your apartment door falls shut behind you. It doesn’t bother you as much as you thought it would. 
Breathing in the familiar scent of your own place, a deep relief washes over you, reveling in the knowledge that you’re gonna sleep in your own bed tonight, alone. You turn on your shower, eager to let the warm water soothe your muscles, stiff from spending the entire day in a car. 
When you exit the bathroom, wrapped into a towel and with a cloud of steam accompanying you, your answering machine is blinking. You press the button to let the message play, moving through your apartment to put on your comfiest sleepwear and ready to fall straight into bed. 
You stop in your tracks when Javier’s voice rings through the room, tripping over the words in a way that’s difficult to associate with the calm, self-assured man that you know. 
“Hey, it’s Javier. You– you’re probably showering, or already asleep. I just– I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings these past days, or– or any day, really. I wanted you to know that. You’re good at what you do, you really are, but– I worry about you, I guess. And I know that I shouldn’t, that I shouldn’t treat you differently. It’s– it’s not because I don’t like you. I like you too much, if anything, and– and now I know what it’s like to sleep next to you, and– anyway, I’m– shit, I’m making a fool of myself. Just– just call me back. Please.”
Your hand finds your phone as soon as the recording ends.
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thank you for reading! as always, reblogs, comments and asks are love and absolutely make my day <3
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lotussimscc · 1 month ago
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My Favorite Downloadable Sim Creators!
If you are anything like me, you end up putting a lot of effort into your main character sim, but don't really have the energy to create the rest of the town. The townies the game creates just don't fit the world you created in your head, so you end up disappointed. Well, a great solution is downloading other people's amazing sims and using MCCC to populate them in your town! No more random ugly townies, now you have pretty people with their own stories! Here is my list of favorite sim creators (in no particular order) and a brief description about what they make:
@wildfairies (Tag/Patreon) - Maxis-Match, CC-Mid. Makes a nice blend of regular and occult sims. They all look unique and pretty without being too overly detailed or distracting while playing! Most available sims have one outfit each.
@sunnyssimming (Tag/Patreon) - Maxis-Mix, CC-mid. Makes gorgeous female sims (and one guy). She makes mostly Maxis-Match, but some hair or makeup might dip into the alpha category. Available sims have one outfit each.
@m0ckest (Tag/Patreon) - Maxis-Match, CC-Free (she has a page with default replacements she uses if you want the sims to look one-to-one). She releases townie makeovers, brand-new sims, and lots. I'm honestly pretty impressed with how good her sims look without using CC!
@pearlean (Tag/Patreon) - Maxis-Match/Custom Art Style, CC-Mid/Heavy. She has her own art style which I would say is closest to something like Telltale's Walking Dead game, which is aided by her beautiful GShade preset. Some base sims and some with one outfit.
@nikatyler (Tag/Patreon) - Maxis-Match, CC-Lite. If you want a full catalog of available sims, you'll want to check her out (seriously, 29 pages of Sims 4 downloads alone, and she has stuff for Sims 3 as well). She has townie makeovers, brand-new sims, lots, and a good mix of regular and occult sims! Most downloads have all outfits included.
@seyvia (Tag) - Maxis-Mix, CC-Mid/Heavy. She has a more cartoony art style with large eyes and expressive faces, which is right up my alley! She has also remade the Stardew Valley bachelors/bachelorettes and even has some CC-Free downloads. Downloads have all outfits included.
@puppycheesecake (Tag) - Maxis-Match, CC-Mid. They have some really creative ideas for sims, with a lot of horror/occult/fantasy-inspired ones (although there are plenty of regular sims, too!) Some downloads have all outfits, some have one, but it is labelled which is which on each sim.
@youngcozyboy (Tag) - Maxis-Mix/Alpha, CC-Heavy. Anime/cartoon-influenced, with some more NSFW downloads/pictures sprinkled in there. They have a large catalog of downloads/townie makeovers and plenty of fantasy-inspired sims (which is something I always love to see). They are Korean, so you'll have to rename the sims once you've downloaded them if you don't speak it, but that isn't a big deal. Also, their screenshots are so expressive and pretty, it really captures each sim's personality! Most sims have one outfit included.
@ladychaos (Tag/Patreon) - Maxis-Match, CC-Lite/Free. She has her own save file that you can download and use, but she also posts everything to the gallery and her Patreon! Her lots and households all have a cozy look/feel to them and have their own stories to tell. I particular love her Strangerville ones! All downloads have all outfits included.
@bansheeso (Tag/Patreon) - Maxis-Match/Mix, CC-Mid. If you are looking for some pretty occult boys (and one girl), then she is the person to go to. I love populating my town with some occult/fantasy sims, so her creations are great for my world! Their household names are in Ukrainian, but that's not a problem since they can easily be renamed. Each download has one outfit.
@fallstaticexit (Tag) - Maxis-Match, CC-Mid. Some nice looking townie makeovers along with some retired sims from their stories. Really solid additions to any world! If you do check her out, be sure to look at her Children of the Forest story, I'm very invested in it! Some come with all their outfits and some come with one.
@acuar-io (Tag/Patreon) - Maxis-Match, CC-Mid. He makes some great, unique-looking sims and makeovers. No same-face syndrome here, each sim has their own distinct face structure with some wrinkles, moles, and other details that I feel like get overlooked too often to make the most beautiful sim. Unique sims have one outfit and makeovers have all outfits.
@kharssims (Tag) - Maxis-Match, CC-Mid/High. He focuses on male sims and they look great! The perfect amount of facial details like wrinkles, freckles, and moles to keep them looking unique and like an actual person you could come across. Each download has one outfit.
@thebramblewood (Tag) - Maxis-Match, CC-Lite/Mid. While they may not have a huge catalog, I think that they have a great selection of maxis-match sims, both makeovers and originals, to choose from. My personal favorite of theirs is Bridget Bledsoe from their Occult Sim Dump! Each sim has one outfit.
Some Honorable Mentions!
@occultradio (Tag) - Maxis-Match, CC-Mid. They don't make sim downloads often, but I love the ones they have available so much. Their Mothman is one of my favorite sims in my entire gallery!
@mothelette - They don't have their sims up for download, but I gotta point out the witchcraft they perform to make their beautifully-stylized sims. Their creations are amazing.
@nefarrilou - They don't have their sims up for download, but they do create beautiful lookbooks. Occults, townie makeovers, and recreations of popular characters in media, they'll have something you'll enjoy!
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muffinlance · 5 months ago
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would you mind talking about how you (currently) back up fanfics to read when AO3 is down? I've been thinking about trying it myself (now that I have a hard disk with enough space) but I have no idea how.
Le current system (all programs are free):
Get yourself Calibre (available for every OS)
Install the FanFicFare plugin, which allows you to go to any page on AO3 (and dozens of other sites) and download every fic there in the background while you do other things with your life
Profit. AKA: Archive every fic you even vaguely like because fics are text-based and take up barely any space, and calibre allows searching by tags similarly to AO3. I personally just bookmark everything I read and liked, and then periodically run FanFicFare on my newest bookmark pages. There is really no need to be discriminating here; I have never regretted having Moar Fics, and calibre makes things exceptionally searchable (and you can customize the tags once you've downloaded, for further fic findability)
When I was on Windows I preferred AO3downloader, which runs on Python and can go through all your bookmarks without input from you (FanFicFare needs to be told what the next page is; AO3 Downloader just starts at page 1 and goes until the page you tell it to stop on); AO3 Downloader also uses AO3's original download format (it literally just automates hitting the site's download button), whereas FanFicFare does a custom output (which you can tweak if desired, but it will never be exactly the same. Note that it works totally fine out of the box I'm just grumpy it's not Exactly The Same.) I couldn't get AO3 Downloader working on Linux, alas.
(If anyone knows how to get AO3 Downloader working on Linux Mint, or knows a calibre plugin that just automates clicking the AO3 download button, do please let me know.)
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menagerofmischief · 4 months ago
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shrimp cocktail, cold appetizer, lobster, coca-cola, yes dessert, served by oscar piastri
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Dia's Diner Menu
shrimp cocktail rivals to lovers cold appetizer rough sex lobster "I love watching my cum leak out of your pussy" coca-cola somnophillia dessert aftercare
Oscar Piastri x Ferrari!driver!reader
TW: one bed trope, unprotected sex (wrap you willy please), sleep dry humping
WC: 2k
A/N: I enjoyed writing this one a lot. Also I wanted to say I'm so thankful to all of you that sent requests and that I can't wait to write all of them but you'll maybe have to be patient with me because I'm a student and am pretty busy with school. I hope y'all are gonna enjoy this one.
Some bigger force, God or karma or fate or whatever else there is, was definitely out to get me. Because this had to be the worst fucking night of my life. I’m not being dramatic when I say that.
Why was this the worst night of my life?
We just made it to Singapore for the upcoming Grand Prix and went straight to our hotel. The whole grid was staying at the same place since it made things more convenient. I go up to the reception to check in and get the key to my room, all but ready to collapse into the mattress and sleep the jet lag off. 
“I’m so sorry Miss,” the receptionist says, tapping her fingers against the keyboard, glancing up at me every few seconds. Finally she looks up, her expression apologetic. “It seems there was a mistake with the booking and we double booked your room.”
I fight off the urge to groan and roll my eyes, instead plastering a smile on my face. “It’s fine, it’s not that big of a deal. Just put me in whatever room is available.”
She makes a face, looking down at the computer again and then returning her gaze to mine. “I really am sorry but there are no other rooms available right now.”
Now I really did groan. “Fantastic. Can I know who the other person occupying the room will be?”
Before the receptionist had the chance to answer, my worst nightmare in human form came up to the desk, standing right next to me. “Hello. I’m here to check in - it’s under Oscar Piastri.”
The woman - I finally glanced at her name tag, seeing her name was Alice - looked between us, then down at the computer before looking at us again. “Sir, as I was just explaining to the lady here, the hotel double booked your room by accident.”
“It’s fine just put me in a -”
“There’s no available rooms.” I cut him off. “Just the one.”
Oscar looked at me, narrowing his eyes. McLaren’s golden boy, affectionately nicknamed ‘the polite cat’ by the fans was the biggest thorn in my side for a long while now. Everything started back in F2 with our on track rivalry which grew with each race. Then I signed into F1, fulfilling my childhood dreams of racing in red and thought I escaped him. I thought too soon apparently because after my announcement post, his followed soon and I was once again back on track with him.
Did I have a reason to hate him? Absolutely! Was it awfully petty and possibly over-dramatic? Very likely. It was my first race in F2, I was about to finish P2 it was amazing. Then he crashed into me and drove us both into the wall, causing us both to DNF and lose out on a podium.
We have hated each other ever since.
“It’s okay - we’ll share.” Oscar’s voice brought me out of my thoughts, quickly turning my head to look at him.
“What!?”
Oscar took the key from Alice and dangled it in front of me, a smirk on his face. “I said we’re gonna be bunking.” He pulled the handle of his suitcase, “Come on then, Y/n”
✿ ✿ ✿
“You stay on your side of the room,” I said, putting the chair in the middle of the room to make it a half marker. “And I’ll stay on mine.” The one queen size bed would definitely be a problem as well, but one I would mention later.
“And how are you gonna go the bathroom since it’s on my side?” He asked, his voice holding a teasing tone.
“Bathroom if free ground, hallway too” I stated, crossing my arms over my chest.
Oscar’s gaze dropped down, stayed for a few seconds and then his eyes met mine again. He hummed, “And if I wanna open the window then what? Since it’s on your side.”
“Don’t act smart,” I told him. “It doesn’t suit you.”
“You wound me!” He gasped, pressing a hand over his heart.
“Shame it’s not fatal.”
✿ ✿ ✿
This was definitely the weirdest night of my life.
With only one bed in the room, no couch and neither of us willing to put our body in uncomfortable positions sleeping on the chair or on the floor, night before practice - Oscar and I made an agreement to share the bed.
One of the extra blankets from the closet was bunched up and put down the middle of the bed separating the two us. Not that it served much purpose considering that it was kicked down and off the bed while we were sleeping.
I woke up, rubbing my eyes to adjust to the dark and then I felt it. The slow, yet desperately feral rolls, the pressure and the pleasure. I had to press a hand against my mouth to stop myself from moaning, taking in deep harsh breaths through my nose.
I came to a realization about three things, so goes:
Oscar had moved a bigger part of his body onto my side of the bed.
He had pulled me close and caged me in his arms sometimes during the night.
He was grinding his very much hard cock into me -  in his sleep.
My cheeks were on fire and it felt like the rest of my body was too. The pajamas, which I purposely picked out because of how light they were, felt suffocating now.
I didn’t even realize what I was doing until it was done, my body moving on its own. One leg pushing slightly forward, opening just enough space for Oscar’s hips to chase mine and my ass slowly barely grinding back into him.
I was enjoying this much more than I should have and it was wrong. God, it was so wrong. But when his erection was rubbing so perfectly against me, I couldn’t bring myself to care.
I was wet, I knew I was. I could feel how soaked my panties had gotten and the uncomfortable feel of my slick underwear did not escape me. As the pressure increased I couldn’t help but let out a moan.
The noise felt deafening in the silent room and my eyes widened. Oscar’s body stilled and my breath caught in my throat, the dread of having woken him with my moans taking over me.
A moment passed, two moments passed. Then Oscar’s hands tightened around my body, pulling me even closer to him, my ass pressed just against the outline of his dick. One of his hands moved down my stomach, dipping into the waistband of my sleeping shorts and going straight down into my panties.
He ran a finger through my folds, coating it in my slick and it took everything in me not to moan. “You’re fucking dripping,” his voice in my ear made me freeze. Awake afterall. “This wet from me humping you? And here I thought you hated me.”
The pad of his finger touched my clit, a gasp falling from my lips at the pleasurable feeling. “Did you enjoy me rutting into you while I was sleeping, you dirty dirty girl?” He added more pressure, rubbing circles on my clit and this time I didn’t hold my moans back. “Woke up halfway through, when you started grinding your ass on me like a bitch in heat. You seemed so into it, I thought I’d just keep going.”
“Wasn’t,” I whispered.
“What was that?” He growled into my ear.
“Wasn’t grinding on you,” I said, through gritted teeth.
His fingers pinched my clit and my whole body surged forward, mouth falling open to let out a loud moan. “Don’t lie,” he said, the tone of his voice leaving no room for argument.
“Fuck you.”
“Oh don’t worry sweetheart, you will.”
Oscar pulled his fingers out of my panties, making me whine at the loss of friction on my clit. His chuckle vibrated through the room. He got up onto his knees on the bed, arms coming forward to grab my shoulders, and pulled me roughly so I was laying on my back.
I couldn’t help but look at him above me. His eyes were full of lust, pupils blown wide and cheeks red. As much as I didn’t want to admit it to myself, he looked absolutely ethereal. 
“Tell me to stop,” he said, fingers hooking into the waistband of my sleeping shorts.
I held his gaze, a shaky breath falling from my mouth. “Don’t stop.”
In one move he pulled down both my shorts and my panties, throwing them behind him without a care. Then he took off his own shorts, followed by his boxers - that ended up being thrown somewhere too. He pulled me up enough to take my top off, and then pushed me down again, leaving me completely bare. 
Oscar leaned over me, his mouth drawn in a smirk, his breath hot on my face. “Tell me not to kiss you.”
“Kiss me,” I whispered. He didn’t waste a second, as soon as the words were out of my mouth he was surging forward, his lips pressing harshly against mine, tongue pushing into my mouth. He pulled slightly back, my lip caught before his teeth and he gently bit down, making me whine into his mouth.
“Fuck me,” I panted into his mouth. “Please just -”
I didn’t get to finish what I was saying as he pushed himself into me fully in one go, making me scream. His hand pressed against my mouth, muffling the noises I was making. “Do you want to wake the whole hotel up?” He asked as he began thrusting, pulling himself out until only the tic was still in me and then forcefully pushing back in again. “Some people came here to sleep, not to listen to you moaning like a whore on my cock.”
His other hand went between us to rub my clit. I was practically sobbing as he worked his fingers in fast circles around my clit while roughly thrusting into me. My vision was blurred with tears that were spilling from the corners on my eyes.
Oscar’s hand moved only a little, leaving room for me to speak but close enough for my lips to brush against his palm with each word. “Cum,” I babbled. “Gonna cum! Oscar, please!”
“Yeah?” He asked, his voice hoarse. “Gonna cum for me like a good little slut? Go on then - cum”
I came with a moan, wrapping my legs around his waist and caging him in. Oscar fucked me trough my orgasm, his own following. He twitched inside of me before cumming, painting my walls and making me whine at how full I felt.
He pulled out of me slowly and went to the bathroom to clean himself up. After a moment he returned with a wet, probably warm, towel in his hands. He kneeled on the bed and gently spread my legs with his hands.
“Fuck,” Oscar groaned. “I love watching my cum leak out of your pussy.” His fingers dipped to collect some of his cum which had spilled out of me and was slowly dripping towards my ass, and pushed it back into me, causing me to gasp.
He leaned forward and placed a kiss on my forehead and somehow my cheeks burned ever hotter. After he gently cleaned me up and terrorized me to drink water, he laid down in bed next to me and pulled my body into his, arms wrapping around me.
“Are you finally going to let me take you out to dinner?” He asked, his voice husky and breath hot against the side of my face.
I hummed, my eyes barely open and already feeling sleepy. “Don’t crash into me while I’m winning on Sunday and we’ll see.”
“That was one time!”
I chuckled, placing my hands over his hand on my stomach. “Yeah, I’ll let you take me out to dinner.”
Believe it or not this might have actually turned out to be one of the best nights of my life.
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cyle · 2 years ago
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Removing the ability to go directly to a specific reblog is a disastrously bad change! I can no longer engage with it when someone reblogs a post referencing the previous reblog's tags, which is, if you somehow missed it, a very common way people interact with each other on tumblr. I also often end up following new people because my mutuals regularly reblogged from them and they have interesting tag commentary; if I can't click through and look at their tags anymore, I'm not going to naturally find new people to interact with, which seems like the kind of thing that tumblr should want to incentivize rather than actively prevent?
I'm aware that this was not your decision personally, in the sense that you were apparently unaware of it at first, but it's a very bad decision, it makes my user experience of the site much worse, and I am going to use multiple avenues available to me to register a complaint about it in order to emphasize this badness!
Whatever this change is supposed to achieve, do something else to achieve it that doesn't remove the ability to actually look at specific posts.
a lot of changes we make won’t be well received by people who have survived the kinda insane ways this site works as-is. that’s the price we have to pay to help make tumblr a growing platform.
i’m sorry, it sucks, i don’t like it either, i’m also someone who’s been using this site for over 10 years and i’m used to the way it’s been working for most of that time. it’s a challenge for me to accept that tumblr isn’t actually working right now for the vast majority of people, who aren’t as vocal as we are.
please do send in feedback, but try to understand that most of what you’re describing is behavior you learned the hard way, and we can’t keep tumblr around if “the way to effectively use tumblr” is learned the hard way.
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smileysuh · 3 months ago
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dumb frat boy - TEASER
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🌙 starring. Lee Donghyuck x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. “I’d ask what you want me to do to you, but I did some research last night, watched some of that Hentaid shit you were talking about. It’s a lot of bondage, isn’t it, Angel? A lot of… creampies. You’ve got a thing for being held down and filled, huh? I guess…” he lets out a small laugh, “I guess I’m a little shocked, seeing as you’re so sassy with me. Guess you just want someone to put you in your place. What is it you called Johnny? A good daddy dom? I might not always be a dom, but for you, I can make it work.” 
tw/cw. yandere/stalker sub themes, ‘unknown’ caller, he’s horny, mentions of porn/masturbation, weed/alcohol use, unprotected sex, oral (m/f receiving), deep throating, face fucking, nipple pinching/nipple worship, fingering, dirty talk, praise, hyuck has a thick cock, cum/fullness kink, creampie, etc… I pet names: (hers) Angel (his) baby.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 9.1k
🍭 aus. uni/frat au, yandere subthemes, Halloween, etc…
☀️ mlist + an.  We're back in the Ghostie au! I'm so happy to be able to put out a fic for Hyuck a year after the original story captivated so many of us <3
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“Burner phone, baby.”
“And what would be the point of getting a burner phone just to call little ol’ me?” you sigh, relaxing against your pillows and pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance. 
“Why so serious, Angel?”
“Jeeze, dude, if you’re going to do the whole creepy caller before Halloween cliche, at least stick to your character.” You can’t believe he’s quoting Health Ledger’s Joker at you now. “Who are you even trying to be? Ghost Face is so last Halloween, we all know Johnny knocked that shit out of the park. A copycat sequel is just… early 2000’s.”
“Okay, let me drop character for just a second,” the man on the other end of the line sighs, and you giggle at how his voice modulator emphasizes his own exasperation. “Think, horny telephone guy.”
“I wouldn’t call Ghost Face particularly horny, he was just a nerd.”
“I’m not Ghost Face!” he insists. “Scream came out in the mid-nineties, think earlier than that.” 
“What, am I supposed to be some kind of horror movie expert?” you scoff. 
“Fine, I’ll just tell you,” the guy sighs. “Have you seen Black Christmas?”
“Never even heard of it.”
“Fuck,” he curses. “Well, don’t go watch it, it has some cult following but it’s not even one of my favourites- the reason I chose the dude from that movie is because he’s a horny little fuck and calls a sorority house and some shit- and also, don’t look up the second movie, I don’t claim the sequel.” 
“Wow, I love that you chose a character based purely on horniness and not if the movie is even good,” you giggle.
“Well, Johnny took the best slasher caller! What was I supposed to do? Go all ghost child from The Black Phone movie?”
“What’s The Black Phone movie?”
“Ethan Hawke? Horror veteran, who plays the hero author in Sinister, turned bad guy in the 2021 film by the same director?” 
You let out a whistle. “TBH, dude, it sucks Johnny got to Ghostie first last year, because I’d bet money you know more about horror movies than he does.”
“I one hundred percent do!” 
“Okay, so back to the point,” you laugh. “You’re calling me as this horny dude from some Halloween Christmas movie- for what?”
“To talk to you?” he suggests. “To uh… be horny… at you?” 
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