#but I'm also so lacking in energy to reach out & start talking to them...

[grimdot]

girl help the images are no longer doing it for me & the text posts hardly make my cock twitch

[cozycottagetarot]

PAC: How Can You Break The Cycle

Messages From Elle: We did it guys!😮‍💨

Notes:

This PAC Covers:

What is the cycle?

What keeps it going?

What will it take to break it?

What could that look like for you? (Patreon Extended)

‼️ THIS READING IS MEANT FOR SELF-REFLECTION AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY -- While this reading does broach topics relating to mental health & mindset, contain a bit of advice and reflective questions, IT'S IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM MEANT TO REPLACE PROFESSIONAL ADVICE OF ANY KIND. Please use your discretion, think carefully before you act and only take what resonates be it a little, some or none at all. ‼️

Reading Masterlist | Patreon | Paid Readings -- Open 🥂

PILE 1 (Brick Wall)

Current Energy

Cards: 10 of cups, The Empress, The Chariot

I feel as though you’re currently in this energy where things couldn’t be better…. But then why are you here? I know that's my job to figure out but still. I feel like you’ve been making strides to create the life that you want. You’re charging forward, becoming more disciplined and things are starting to feel warm.

The cycle that needs to be broken:

Cards: The Wheel of Fortune, Nine of Wands, Page of Pentacles, Four of Wands

The cycle that needs to be broken is one of constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. You’re tired of fighting or always fending off the downward turn of the wheel of fortune and while you may try to keep your faith that things can get better and stay better, you're always expecting things to get bad again. You could be worried the new beginning won't start, the relationships won't come, or the financial abundance won't find you. I think this fear or vigilance has such a tight hold on you, that you end up not taking action. You may need to readjust your game plan. You don't allow yourself to relax. You don't allow yourself to celebrate your wins… you're always in this state of hyper vigilance.

What keeps the cycle going?

Cards: The Sun, The High Priestess, Two of Pentacles, Seven of Pentacles

I don’t think you really allow yourself to be happy. That may be the current energy I was picking up on as well. When things are going great you don’t really let them go great. I also think you’re neglecting the things that are really important to you inside… maybe so much that you don’t even know what those things are anymore. Not knowing how to navigate this internal world of yours keeps fueling this cycle of 'oh, what bad thing will happen next?' You may also have a hard time making decisions or generally deciding what you want, floating back and forth between options. This back-and-forth stops you from actually putting in the work it takes to succeed and enjoy the FULL results, therefore keeping the cycle going. Another thing I picked up on is maybe the wheel keeps turning back and forth as well because from going back and forth all the time, you’re never really getting to move past the lessons you may need to learn in order for you to reach your desired outcome or abundance.

What will it take to break this cycle:

Cards: Seven of Cups, Five of Cups, Two of Cups, Ace of Pentacles

If you want to break this cycle, you have to make a decision on what exactly it is you want. It might mean leaving behind something, but you have to remember that so much more also awaits you in the process. Stop dwelling on what has gone 'wrong' before, especially if it’s past events that influence your lack of decision. It's okay to have that vigilance and use the past to better navigate the future-- HOWEVER, it's also important to get honest with yourself about whether it's a valid concern or a fear talking. It's time to change your mindset to focus on what can go right. I think also there will be someone available to help you once you make a decision about what you want to pursue. The alternate I'm getting is that you have to allow yourself to lean on others if you want to break the cycle. This could be through personal and professional relationships. But you have to actually decide yes, this is what you want. It doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to change as you grow, but first, you have to plant the seed. Once your seedling sprouts you can cultivate your plant however you’d like. There’s a lot out there available to you but making the decision to move towards it is where it begins.

Want to know what those steps might look like for you? Consider checking out my Patreon for the extended version as well as early access to my next pac!

Regardless, if you'd like a free mini-reading to clarify any part of this PAC, feel free to send me an ask with your initials and pile!

PILE 2 (Statue)

Current Energy:

Cards: King of Wands, The Star, The Tower rev, Queen of Wands

I see you showing up as being in a hopeful energy and that good fortune of some kind is coming your way. A good balance of masculine and feminine energy. There’s a sense of resisting something internally, however. A transition of some kind that you're wanting to make. It seems like it could be good for you and a lot of different areas in your life would improve, but what you know or are accustomed to might clash with what you want. However, you have what it takes to succeed. If you were drawn to pile 1, after reading this pile consider checking it out as well.

The cycle that needs to end:

Cards: Eight of Swords, The Devil, Ten of Swords, Knight of Swords

I feel like you’ve got a gloomy inner world. Very melancholy. You’re turning a blind eye to the things that are holding you back and draining your energy. It feels like you almost escape it but it gets you every time. You might not take the best care of yourself mentally or physically. With all the swords it could be a mental thing too and it’s important that you get (professional) help and take those steps (of taking better care of yourself). The cycle that needs to break is you getting stuck in this energy.

What keeps the cycle going:

Cards: Four of Swords, Eight of Cups rev, Ace of Wands rev, Ace of Cups

You don’t rest. You won’t walk away from the things draining your energy. You won’t open up your heart and you won’t do anything with your creative sparks... more or less.

It’s so important that you take a moment to take a good pause and regroup. You could find yourself turning to poor coping mechanisms and that's not good. You can't try to leave a bad situation either if you don’t know what made it bad. You also have to sometimes stick things out. If you tried breaking a habit and it didn't work, it doesn’t mean you’re doomed to always have that habit. That’s a bad way of looking at things, and while it’s understandable to feel that way, you still need to work on it. You’re allowed to connect with your emotions and create as well... There's a need to review your plans/goals as well. You can be successful, but may lack the resources to easily be so... that’s also understandable but you can still work with what you do have. You may also lack confidence in you abilities to achieve your goals. You can manifest so many things you want but you have to believe in yourself and open your emotions to be able to connect with the feeling of what you want. It’s easy to say I want XYZ, but if you don’t figure out what that’s going to feel like, then how will you know when you’ve got it? It’s easy to get caught up in material things but the last thing you want is to wake up one day to a life that looks exactly like you wanted it to, only to realize it doesn’t FEEL the way you wanted it to.

What will it take to break the cycle:

Cards: Judgement, The Hierophant, Knight of Wands, Page of Cups

It’s time for you to get it together. Get serious about moving on to the next phase. I feel like it’s all going to work out based on the cards but you really do have to stop holding yourself back. Find a support group. Consider finding creative/artistic ways to express yourself. Step into a leadership role because there’s a good chance you can lend the wisdom you’ve acquired to others… This could be through a social media platform, sharing your writing, attending a local community event, etc. Work on making sure how you’re living aligns with your beliefs and vice versa. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Give yourself your all. I also feel like this is one of those situations where you have to remind yourself that sometimes motivation follows action.

Want to know what those steps might look like for you? Consider checking out my Patreon for the extended version as well as early access to my next PAC!

Regardless, if you'd like a free mini-reading to clarify any part of this PAC, feel free to send me an ask with your initials and pile!

PILE 3 (Broken TV)

Current energy:

Cards: Wheel of fortune, Queen of swords, Queen of pentacles, Two of wands

Your current energy is that you've shifted to a 'really good' energy or you're about to shift to a 'really good' energy. The Magician isn't here but that's kind of the energy I'm picking up on here too. Either being very faithful right now that everything is going to work out for you or that's the energy/mindset that you need to tap into. There are options available to you... You need a plan of some kind. You feel unable to move... unequipped even. Thinking about (or needing to) your long-term future. With the two queens, I think you're leaning into one of the two embodiments of the queen, maybe even both. You might have a hard time seeing yourself as either.

The cycle that needs to be broken:

Cards: The Hanged Man, The Tower, The World, Judgement

The other piles were definitely what I would consider a cycle on a loop that needed breaking but yours feels less like a cycle and more like you're just... stuck. You're ready to or have 'level/ed up', but it's as though you're stuck in limbo. This could be because you've gone through a 'tower moment' recently (say within the last year give or take) that's left you stuck in limbo. Or it could be a fear of having a 'tower moment' that is leaving stuck in limbo. Regardless this cycle is one of you needing to bring something to completion.

What keeps the cycle going:

Cards: Knight of Wands, The Emperor, The Sun, Eight of Pentacles, The Fool

You might be rather impatient. When you do things you may expect to see results immediately...that sense of 'oh, I did this tasks once, why don't I feel better 👀'. It could also be that you might not plan out your goals thoroughly or you may not be very clear on what it is that you want to do/achieve. I feel like since you don't take that moment to strategize and figure out what actually needs to be done, this cycle keeps going. You may just charge forth into whatever you think will bring you happiness. However, this means you can't put in the work required which can bring you back to a place of fear and doubt. This can create anxiety and likely catastrophizing which brings us back to that fear of a 'tower moment'. It could also simply be a case of being too laid back? On the flip side, while it's always good to have faith that things will work out, it's important to remember that a lot of times, you still have to play a role in that.

What will it take to break the cycle: Cards: The Star, Justice, Three of Pentacles, Knight of Cups

Have hope, yes. Dream and believe that good things are meant for you and those good things will find you. BUT, balance that with meaningful/conscious action. You must consider the long term. What is the end goal going to look/feel like? What is the journey of getting there going to take? Some of you already have the knowledge you need while others may still need to acquire it. Regardless, learning and implementation will help break the cycle. You have what it takes, but you have to stay the course. It's also important that you use action rather than simply ideas to motivate you. Fall in love with the act of doing.

I also feel like you should make a love list. I initially thought of that while going my first glance at the cards.

Also, do me a favour and take a nap, please! ✋

Want to know what those steps might look like for you? Consider checking out my Patreon for the extended version as well as early access to my next PAC!

Regardless, if you'd like a free mini-reading to clarify any part of this PAC, feel free to send me an ask with your initials and pile!

PILE 4 (Hammer)

Note: If you're someone who reads what cards were pulled, I mistyped the Seven suit for Current Energy and The Cycle so now that I'm editing, I realised I have no idea which suit the card belonged to hence the (?). Okay, that's all!

Current energy:

Cards: Seven of Swords(?), Queen of Pentacles, Three of Wands

It's time for you to broaden your horizons, however, you currently have to tread carefully. You could currently be job searching or looking for scholarships etc. There's a lot of opportunities available to you or becoming available to you. But you need to be diligent and read the fine print and get the details to make sure you won't be compromised in the process. It's important though that you be able to maintain a balance between your home/personal and academic/career life. You're in an energy of needing to remember to put yourself first.

The cycle that needs to be broken:

Cards: Two of Swords, The Emperor, Page of Swords, Seven of Wands (?)

The cycle that needs to break is one of constantly being at odds with everyone. I feel like you’re constantly bending over backwards or breaking your neck to try and appease others-- and no matter what you do, it’s not enough. I think this might potentially resonate more with those who are academics. When faced with a decision between what will benefit you vs what will benefit someone else, you have a tendency to either not make a decision of choose the option that will benefit someone else instead. This could be because you either live under someone with authority over you (like a caretaker or family) or you're in a position where you feel like you have to take care of others (siblings/family, partner).

I feel as though for some of you it could also be a romantic relationship? I'm not familiar with 'channeling' through music, but find myself doing it a lot lately. The song 'Lifetime' by Livingston just resonated with part of this pile for some reason. When asking if it’s a romantic situation, I got the cards: Eight of Pentacles, The Devil, and Justice rev. I’m also getting 'the right person, but wrong time'.

I think if it's someone with whom you share romantic feelings for, it's a situation where the relationship likely feels imbalanced and like hard work, but you don't feel like you can step away. If that resonated then that could be it. It could also be any unfair relationship dynamic.

What keeps the cycle going:

Cards: The Hanged Man, Ace of Wands, Death, The Moon, Eight of Swords

I think you’re in a cage of your own making, but not because you can’t see. You can see, but what you’re seeing isn’t clear. Because of this, you tend to end up pressing pause on moving forward. There's a lot of creative energy around you... for some, it's that it's a creative field waiting to accept you. However, you're too afraid to actually go for it and give it your all so I think you keep 'pulling the wool' over your own eyes. I think if there are people around you in opposition to you moving forward, you might see it as a convenient excuse to not move forward and transform into the next stage of your life. It's almost like the cycle doesn't need to be a cycle. You know when you're listening to a song and you keep restarting it 'cause you keep getting interrupted? And sometimes it's just you being extra because it wasn't even your favourite part you're just kind of nitpicking? Yeah, same vibe I'm getting here.

If the relationship resonates: I think you may need to let go of (or loosen your hold on) because they could be holding you back to the point they're dragging you down. Things are shifting for you, especially internally. You could be trying to hold it back though, but in doing so you could burn up and out. You’re seeing what really is and maybe you don’t want to. That’s the part that keeps this cycle going. I see images of a phoenix rising too.

What will it take to break the cycle:

Cards: Queen of Wands, The Chariot rev, Judgement, Three of Pentacles, The World, The Lovers

It’s time to use the things you’ve learned. Let go and let the cycle close. Trust that you’ll find love again or that you’ll find inner harmony. Trust that it will all work out in your favour. Take steps, even if it's baby steps to doing whatever it is you want to do. I feel like I said this already in a different pile, but even if you can't make a complete switch yet, start engaging in the things you want to do or eventually pivot too in small steps. You can always research or engage with it as a hobby for the time being. Also finding balance between who you are and how you show up to the world. Remember you have a lot to offer and it's going to do everyone a whole lot more good in the long run, the more authentically you can show up.

Want to know what those steps might look like for you? Consider checking out my Patreon for the extended version as well as early access to my next PAC!

Regardless, if you'd like a free mini-reading to clarify any part of this PAC, feel free to send me an ask with your initials and pile!

[velvetm00light]

Loved

gif: pinterest dividers: @benkeibear, @mariariley, @haerinism

Chapter Four of Save Me

Previous Chapters: one, two, three (y/n), three (spencer)

Word Count: 2.4k

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Summary: You've awoken in the hospital after experiencing hellish torture at the hands of your foster brother turned stalker. Your coworker, Spencer, worked tirelessly to save you. He's stayed beside your hospital bed since he found you. He decides to take off some time from work to help you get back on your feet and work through the trauma with you, and give you his undivided attention.

Warnings: Hospital, trauma, grief, one bed. Previous and future parts mention guns, torture, kidnapping, dead parents, suggestions of sexual assault, knives and cutting torture, sense deprivation (sight), emotional manipulation, fear, grief, PinV, oral, domxsub situations, grief, bondage, physical harm, etc.

A/N: My heart is so warm at all the comments, reblogs, and messages! I'm so happy you all are loving this series. It really makes me want to keep writing! I will probably start posting small one shots while also writing this series just to take a break when I'm not sure what to do in the next chapter. I plan on (hopefully) making this a long series since it's so loved already so the stress isn't over yet. ;) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for supporting me. ♡

THE LIGHTS WERE BLINDING as your eyes fluttered open. Machines beep annoyingly all around you. As you adjust to your surroundings, the memories of the past few days come crashing into you, threatening to drown you. Your entire mind, body, and soul feels drained and worn.

Your eyes slowly gaze around the room, starting with your bruised and patched up body, luckily mostly covered by the hospital gown you've been dressed in. You shift your gaze to the baskets, cards, and balloons lined around your room, presumably from your team. A smile tugs at your lips as you can see their love in object form. Your eyes reach the other side of the room and you spot a sleeping body curled up in a love seat to the right of your bed.

As if he can sense you've awoken, his eyes snap open and are instantly on you, inspecting every inch of your body, then your face. You can see him release a heavy sigh of relief. You admit, he looks like hell but you know you look the exact same.

He gives you a small smile as he scoots his chair closer to the side of your bed and takes your hand in his. You try to return the smile, but it falls flat on your tired face.

"How long have you been here?" You manage to croak out. Your throat feels raw from the pleading and yelling you'd done the past few days.

"The whole time," he replies. You're not sure why it shocks you, but it feels almost too good to be true. None of your team is to be seen, but by the looks of your room, you would bet every single one of them have already come to check on you and you're sure Spencer's phone isn't lacking in text messages and phone calls. You begin to wonder if he asked to stay while the rest of the team carried on their due diligence to the world and are chasing after bad guys while you lay helplessly in the hospital.

"Thank you," is all you can say and you still feel like it's just not enough. Nothing will probably thank him enough for his care and the efforts and energy he expended to save your life. You're sure this is probably the first time he's slept in days.

"I'd do anything for you, (y/n)," he said it so matter-of-factly it took you by surprise. Your heart swells hearing him say these sweet things to you, the kind of things you allowed yourself to fantasize about. "You don't have to talk about it."

"Is he dead?" You whisper, unsure of which response you're hoping for.

"Yes."

By the look that overtakes his face, you don't need to be a rocket scientist to know he was most likely the one who did it. You're unsure if you really want to know if you're right or not. "Good."

"I'm sorry," Spencer murmurs, barely loud enough for you to hear. Your eyes knit together, confusion evident on your face.

"Why? You saved me."

"You only got abducted because I'm the fool who told you it was safe to sleep."

"None of this is your fault, don't apologize to me."

His eyes widen in astonishment at your tone. "Don't get used to bossing me around," he smiles.

You heart dances at his comment and at the smile you guarantee hasn't been on his face in days. It's still not as wide and goofy as normal, but you'll take what you can get for now. As long as he's still able to put somewhat of a smile on his face, that's all that matters to you. It feels odd to put one on your own considering just hours ago you were chained to the ceiling of a barn and had a metal mask around your face like some kind of caged animal.

As if he senses your quick change in mood, his smile falls. "I really am sorry though, that you're going through this, and for what you went through." He squeezes the hand that he's refused to let go off since you awoke. You give him a small squeeze back as your reply.

His eyes fall to your body again, studying the different cuts and bruises peppering your skin. His gaze could set the entire world aflame as the rage threatens to consume him. He tears his eyes away from your wounds and looks away from you for a moment in an attempt to control the fire coursing through his blood. He knows he should be grateful that the guy who did this is already dead, but God, he just really wishes he could do it over and over again in more painful ways for good measure.

"I took a month of leave." He tells you, his gaze finally falling back on your face.

"What? Why?" You ask, a bit stunned that he would even take a day off let alone a whole month. You suppose you really underestimated how hard this could've been on him.

"Your injuries are..extensive, and that's being generous. I figured it might help to have someone who can do things for you." You notice the blush run up his neck and into his cheeks, as if he's nervous you'll tell him no.

"That's sweet of you, Spence, but you don't need to do that. I'll be okay." He looks at you with an expression on his face that basically says, liar, and you know he's right. Reality is, you'd love absolutely nothing more than getting his undivided attention, for him to cook you food, and take care of you for an entire month.

"Tough shit." A real smile spreads across your face this time. You're pretty sure this is the first time you've ever heard him curse and you almost ask him to do it again, but you realize that's probably inappropriate for the current situation you're in.

"I'm not even going to argue with you because I know I'm not going to win."

"Good girl," he smirks. Your skin turns hot as you push down the bubbling desire building inside you, you're in the hospital after all. But you can't help but start to realize that being in his presence makes you feel...normal. Like nothing ever happened and you're having a conversation on any normal day. It feels refreshing.

Keys jingle in Spencer's hand as he unlocks the door to his apartment. While in the hospital, you confided in him about the fact that you didn't think you could handle being in your apartment or even seeing the state of it right now. You'll have to see it eventually because as much as you would love to just stay with Spencer for a while, you couldn't bare to put that onto him, he's already allowing you to stay for a month, that should be long enough.

"Thank you for letting me stay, seriously. You didn't have to do all this for me."

"Did you think I was just going to let you suffer alone, in your own apartment where everything happened?" You know it's a rhetorical question, but he looks serious, and almost offended that you could possibly think such a thing of him. To be fair, you weren't aware of the feelings he had been keeping hidden from you.

"I mean, I guess I just didn't expect anything, you know? Yeah, I went through something traumatizing but so has everyone on this team. I'm not going to let it control me, well, I'm gonna try not to."

"There's nothing else I'd rather be doing. You're the most important thing to me. I plan on being here for you through it all."

You realize you're speechless, you've never had someone who put you as a top priority before. You've only been able to count on yourself to survive, it honestly feels strange to put your survival instincts in a cage and let someone else to the work. You're unable to stop yourself from getting tearful. He slowly reaches towards your face and wipes a stray tear from your cheek with his thumb.

You fight the urge to flinch, reminding yourself that the man in front of you is probably the last one on this entire Earth who would hurt you. "You're so strong, you know that?" He coos.

"I'm just glad that this is a burden I have to deal with, and not one of you," you state, and it's the truth. You wouldn't even begin to know how to comfort someone if the roles were reversed, and you wouldn't wish what you went through on any of your coworkers, or really anyone for that matter.

"You're not going to share this burden alone."

Before you can think of a response, Spencer leaves you to settle yourself in the living room while he grabs you some of his clothes to change into. You're currently in random garments of clothing, donated to you by your team. The clothing you had arrived to the hospital in were basically scissored to shreds, and you wouldn't be caught dead leaving the hospital in a hospital gown, what if your ass accidentally showed through the robe?

He swiftly comes back and you can't help but giggle when you examine the clothes he chose for you. "Spence, these clothes look good on you. I'm literally about to look like a little boy who probably lives in the basement of a library."

"Are you telling me I look like a little boy who lives in the basement of a library?" He asks as he attempts to keep a stern look on his face but you notice the smile tugging on the sides of his lips.

"What if I was?" You ask with a lift of the eyebrow.

Spencer's mouth opens, then closes quickly. You feel like he was most likely going to make some kind of flirtatious comment but probably thought better of it. While the sentiment is sweet, you begin to feel a bit annoyed. You're the last person to want people walking on eggshells around you in fear they're gonna set you off.

"Spence, can you promise me something?"

"Anything," he says quickly, sitting down next to you on the couch.

"Please don't walk on eggshells around me. Say exactly what you want to say, don't sugar coat or avoid saying certain things just because you're afraid to upset me. I'm a big girl."

"I-Okay. I just don't want to bring up any memories."

"I know, and that's extremely kind of you. I just know I would hate feeling like you can't be honest with me."

"Okay, I promise."

"Thank you."

He places a soft kiss on your temple, "Anything for you."

"Thank you for the clothes, just don't laugh at me."

You rise from your seat on the brown leather couch slightly right of the middle of his apartment's living room, and head into his room to your right. You gently shut the bedroom door and quickly change into the beige wool sweater and black shorts he gave you. You fight an internal battle with yourself, fighting against the urge to look around his room. To be fair, you'll have an entire month to learn probably everything about him, anyway.

You turn the cold brass knob of his bedroom door and crack it. "Remember, no laughing," you command, only sticking your head out.

"I won't, come on. We've got take out to eat and movies to watch."

You unhurriedly open the bedroom door further, revealing that you in fact do kind of look like you belong in the library. Spencer takes his bottom lip in between his teeth, his facial muscles giving away the fact that he actually wants to laugh.

"You look adorable," he giggles as you retake your seat next to him. You side eye him and begin to dig into your food. "Your choice of movie."

You think for a moment as you savior the extremely salty and very bad for you take out. "The Proposal."

"Is it just because you want to look at Ryan Reynolds?"

"Can you blame me?"

"No, I can't."

He follows through on your wish, and digs into his own meal as The Proposal starts to play. It was the first movie that came into your head, but it's makes the little girl in you feral at the fact that you're literally watching a romcom, eating take-out, and wearing Spencer's clothes, with Spencer. Shit, he literally could've put on the Conjuring for all you cared and your whole body would still tingle at the fact that you guys basically look like a married couple right now.

You're awoken by Spencer laying you softly into his bed, putting you under the covers. "You didn't even make it halfway," he smiles at you as he stands back up. "Goodnight, (y/n)."

He begins to head towards the door when you ask, "Where are you going?"

"To the couch."

"Why?"

"Uh, do you not want me to?"

"I think I'd feel safer if you..you know..slept in here with me."

"Okay."

Well that was easy, you thought. He climbs into bed beside you, and your breath catches at the sudden proximity. Sure, it's probably the same distance away you were from him on the couch but it seems so much closer when you're laying in bed together.

You lay in silence for a moment, his eyes roaming around your face before settling back onto your eyes. He opens his arms and whispers, "Come here."

You happily do as commanded and as soon as you get within reach, he greedily closes his arms around you, pulling you in as tight as he can. You rest your head on his chest and take a deep breath as his almond and lavender scent fills your lungs.

His hand rubs lazily up and down your spine, causing you to relax even further into his embrace. For once in your life you feel truly, utterly safe.

"I love you too, by the way." He whispers as he plants a kiss on the top of your head.

You snap your head up and stare at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. "What?"

"You heard me." He smirks, using a hand to pull your head back down into his chest.

"I, also, love you too." You whisper, not even bothering to fight the smile that appears on your face.

TAG LIST: @qatiee @dottirose @thisaintredwine @jay-2s-world @ruziazyn @translatemunson @sky2nd

[zerofushiguro]

Hi!!! Can I request a one shot for Satoru with little sister reader? His little sister is a sorcerer too but she's not gifted with six eyes and limitless curse technique like him. Because of that she always gets compared to Satoru. However, Satoru always reassures her that she can get stronger and always be her number one supporter. They train together and if anyone ever tries to make her little sister down he'll always be there to defend her and comfort her afterwards.

Gojo's Little Sister | Gojo x SIster!Reader :)

Being Satoru Gojo's little sister was not easy. He was blessed, or cursed one would say, with both the six eyes and the limitless technique while I was only able to use simple techniques, similar to Maki Zenin, but at least I had some cursed energy to begin with as she had none at all.

My specific skill set was that I was able to use electricity to my advantage to take down opponents, however, I was nowhere near as strong as Satoru.

"What's wrong, y/n?" Gojo asked as he ruffled my hair. We had been training all afternoon and I felt like I was getting nowhere. Even though the strongest sorcerer alive was training me, I couldn't help but to be seen as anything less than his baby sister.

"I just feel overwhelmed, Satoru." I answered, trying to make it out as if I was just tired and not insecure about my abilities. The Gojo clan was notorious for being judgmental and being overbearing. I didn't want my inability to be as strong as my older brother to get in his way.

"You've been training hard all afternoon, however, it seems like you just want to give up." He said, looking down at me as I was sitting on the training room floor. He could always read me like a book.

"To be honest, I just don't feel up to par with you, Satoru. I just… want to be just like you." I confessed, feeling ashamed at my lack of accomplishments.

I was ten years younger than Satoru. He was twenty-eight while I was eighteen. He had accomplished so much, being the world's strongest sorcerer and also being one of the most sought out teachers of this generation. Most people didn't like him or his childish antics, but I looked up to him.

"Does it bother you? Being my little sister? I don't want you to ever feel as if you live in my shadow, y/n." He would say as he reached his hand out and pulled me up off the floor. As I stood up, I lost my balance and fell down. He reached his hand back out before telling me to get up and try again.

"Satoru, people talk about me." I told him out of confidence before trying to hit the target. "They say I'm nothing like you and that I don't belong within the Gojo bloodline in general and I'm starting to believe them."

The look on Gojo's face was unbelievable as he heard the news of his little sister's sad, but true, feelings.

"We're done training for the day. Let's go get something sweet to eat and we can spend some time together instead." He smiled, holding out his hand. I smiled back at him, allowing him to take my hand and lead me outside.

Once we reached the cafe where we were getting Mocchi, he looked at me randomly and said something I will never forget.

"Y/n, you are perfect the way you are. Don't you dare let anybody else tell you otherwise. All you have to do is work harder and you'll get there. I'm here to help you no matter what." He said with a smile.

My heart felt warm and fuzzy as my older brother spoke these words of affirmation. I knew he loved and cared deeply about me and would do anything for me. That was the day I decided to do whatever it takes to make him proud of me. I was happy to have him as my big brother.

[mdhwrites]

Just putting forth this ask: why is it that compared with Amphibia's All In and The Hardest Thing, that TOH's finale and "final fight" (if we can even call it out that) just felt so underwhelming? Even especially Luz's "death" which felt so much of a fakeout and copying from Amphibia's. Granted, I wonder if a part of that is some of us already watching Amphibia at that point tho.

The fight feeling more underwhelming is easy actually. See, 90% of what people remember of Luz fighting Belos isn't her fighting Belos. It's just dancing around fighting moss. That is... Lame. To put it mildly. Meanwhile, you have three magical girls flying into space to fight the moon and his army of robots. That is awesome.

However.

What I really want to talk about is why their deaths actually play into the feeling of these two fights and the finales as a whole. It lets me talk about shock deaths versus heroic sacrificed because TL:DR: Anne heroically sacrifices herself for Amphibia as a final culmination of the growth she has had as a character. Meanwhile, Luz is given a shock death to sell how dangerous Belos is (which I will get into a bit) while also essentially being fridged for the sake of the Collector's arc. One of those is hype as hell and satisfying. The other is a complete stumble before we finally get the actual confrontation.

However, I'm going to go away from The Owl House and Amphibia first to talk about the tropes of Heroic Sacrifices and Shock Deaths with one of the easiest franchises to do it with: Dragonball Z.

Let's start with Heroic Sacrifice. A heroic sacrifice is when a character CHOOSES to give up their life so as to attempt to put things right, save lives, etc. like that. This choice element is actually really important. Without it, it's just a tragic death. The villain got the upper hand at a bad moment and killed them. That rarely actually happens in media but it is an option. A heroic sacrifice is just that: A sacrifice.

This is your classic moments of Piccolo sacrificing himself for Gohan against Nappa or Vegeta using all the energy he has in an attempt to defeat Buu. In both cases, these are major defining moments in their arcs. Arguably, the climaxes of them. The pinnacle of them changing to be a good person. We also see two classic examples here, one of which I think is commonly much stronger.

Piccolo's death is a split second decision where he decides to take the hit instead of allowing it to reach Gohan. This has a lot of good points for a character, such as showing their inherently good nature, but it does lack one key component: It doesn't feel like the choice weighs as much. Not wanting to see someone else get hurt is pretty basic and can be warped just as much by the bad guys so as to make it a weakness. It says a lot about Zuko when he takes a lightning bolt for Katara... But I wouldn't call it a sacrifice. It's a split second choice to make sure one person stays alive over themselves. This makes the impact revolve a LOT more around thematics over just the weight of the moment. As an example: If Superman dives in front of someone to take a Kryptonite blast, that's an "Oh shit," moment as the fight suddenly takes a turn for the worst. However, it is so ingrained in his nature that it hardly means anything for him to put himself in danger like this. It only hits hard for characters like Piccolo because of the journey they've been on.

Vegeta's hits harder for that reason because it still carries all the same advantages of the split second choice with one MAJOR boon: It's optional. Yes, technically these others are too but protecting an ally is just a part of being on a team. Being in combat. We don't blink at it most of the time unless it leads to a death, in which case it is a tragedy. Vegeta had a different option though. Just... Play along. Or leave. Or do ANYTHING else.

Instead, from his lowest point, he finally sees what he's going to lose from all of this, what he has done, and makes the choice to try and make up for it. Not even to seek forgiveness but just to have a single moment of redemption in his whole life in an attempt to save his family and those he cares about.

This also brings up another point about Heroic sacrifices: They don't need to be successful or permanent. The point is about what it says about the character. Vegeta doesn't manage jack shit in his last moments from an entirely practical purpose. From a character perspective though, this choice will last eternally. It will always be a part of him and his growth. That is powerful, even if it fails.

But what happens when there is no choice and it says nothing about the character? Well, that's when we get into the realm of a shock death, like Yamcha's legendary failure. A shock death is mostly meant to just raise the stakes. To make the audience know that 'shit just got real'. It always happens as a character getting instantly KO'd so as to really sell the "OH SHIT" factor of the moment.

Which is also why everyone always laughs at Yamcha. His death means nothing and as far as trying to up the ante? Good job, you killed the weakest of us in a show of strength. Good job. It is a HARD sell to a lot of audience members at this point because the character is just there to die. Their death doesn't say anything or mean anything for them so why as an audience should we care? It was just a cheap death that accomplished nothing and everyone moves on from.

So am I fair to call Luz's death this? After all, Camila cries over it. Eda goes into a more feral version of her Owl Beast form than she ever has before because of it. The Collector learns what death is due to it!

And in like three minutes, none of that will matter besides the Collector thing. No Eda having to try and bring herself back from the curse, despite claiming it can still eternally take her, a plot point never resolved. Camila has no reason to actually know. Her crying is just to add another octave to the overture "BE SAD NOW!" And the Collector?

He only was in danger because the writers said he was. Even if you believe Belos is immune to his magic (which was shown to be untrue as he flew up to Belos' face), he is still an incredible being of unrivaled power. He can move celestial bodies with a whim for god's sake. Why should he EVER be in danger? Shouldn't he be able to teleport or just shift out of the way faster than Luz can fly up to him?

And what does it say about Luz? You know, the girl who has been trying to abandon the Isles for TWO WHOLE SPECIALS before this and who has no connection with the Collector? They want this to be a heroic sacrifice in the way of Piccolo but it doesn't have the weight. It has no build up and Luz was NEVER going to have a real connection to the Collector. It's even explicitly used as a teaching moment for the Collector. To give him extra motivation to become a good guy... Like you do when you fridge a character. It's also something Luz would have explicitly done from episode 1 so it also has the Superman problem of saying nothing.

And the WORST part for Luz is... It wasn't something she thought was going to kill her. She thought the two would get out of the way. Maybe that was just a line in relief but a heroic sacrifice is an all in play. You don't expect to come back from a SACRIFICE. But Luz appears to have.

As such, it just feels like a way to up the stakes, especially when all it leads to is a power up for Luz. A cheap bit of escalation before the victory lap that is Titan Luz. That's just not that compelling and it feels manipulative, like a lot of shock deaths are.

And how does Amphibia get out of all of this? With one line:

"These stones aren't Amphibia's greatest treasure."

In that moment, we are reminded not only of all that Anne is fighting for but all of the growth she has had in order to lead to this moment. To go from the selfish girl she once was to the unifier of the stones. To someone who can actually care about an entire planet. How in episode 1, she wouldn't have done this but now? Now it's not even a moment of hesitation for her.

And it does have the Vegeta element of being optional. She could have gone home. She could have had Marcy or Sasha make the sacrifice instead. She doesn't though because she will not shrug off the responsibility of all this. This isn't even to do with the prophecy. She was the one to steal the music box. She was complicit, even if more fault lies with Marcy, in leading to the Core being potentially able to ravage worlds again. And then she is told that the prophecy is a plea for help. You don't have to yes to a plea like you do destiny. If not for Anne's experiences, she would have said no.

Instead, she says yes and she wins for it. Her resurrection is even based in this. She expects no resurrection and was ENTIRELY ready to bear the weight of her choice. She won't even accept the Guardian's offer of power because that's not why she did this. It's not what her arc is about. Instead, she gets her resurrection for the same reason she died: Because she has grown and in that growth, become so much more than she ever could have even imagined, so what would happen if given more time to grow? Would she surpass all of ours expectations? Even a god's?

ALL of that helps an audience care. Helps give a true climax to everything. Brings it all together. Even if you want to argue, and I actually probably would, that the Calamity trio fighting is technically worse from an animation standpoint than even Eda, King and Luz against the moss, narrative weight matters more. That sense of climax matters more. It is going to elevate the rest of the fight, and the episode, simply by making sure that ANY audience member is going to have a greater amount of investment in it.

And a heroic sacrifice is a great way to add to that. A shock death is not.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[starhvney]

hello! :D

could you write for sasha and reader hanging out and sasha reads her palm or gives her a tea reading? something fluffy please! it's okay if you don't want to, thank you for reading my request anyway! <3 your writing is literally so amazing :D

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐓

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: mystreet platonic sasha & fem!reader, also ft. gene and zenix

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: feeling bored and crowded at a party, you and sasha escape to the back porch

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: fluff, sasha being cool asf, you two are the cool main character besties in an indie film with two stupid boy roommates, it’s great

𝐂𝐖: use of alcohol, you two are at a house party

𝐀/𝐍: i know i added a party subplot here but once i started writing i just went for it lol. hopefully you still like the scenario! i also know nothing about palm reading or anything like that so sorry for any inaccuracies^^;

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

the sound of talking and loud music muffles as you and sasha step out on the back porch, breathing in the fresh, cool night air. the dim lighting through the windows and the singular light over the door cast a warm glow on the two of you. sasha stretches and takes another drink out of her solo cup, before hoisting herself to sit up on the thick wooden railing. 

“the people here are kind of lame, i thought zenix said this was gonna be fun.” she says in her monotonous voice, the sound of her deeper voice a calm relief from all of the shouts inside.

you join her and perch yourself next to her, taking a swig of your own drink and wrinkling your nose at the sting of the alcohol. sasha scoffs out an amused laugh at your reaction, a fond look on her face.

“yeah,” you strain out, before clearing your throat. “there’s a lack of uh… depth in personality around here.”

she nods, a knowing sparkle in her eyes. for a moment you two enjoy the distant noise of crickets and the occasional car passing, before sasha turns her attention back to you. she reaches out a pale, black polished hand in your direction.

“let me see your hand.” she says, lightly wiggling her fingers out for you to take.

as you place your hand over hers, she turns it palm up and leans forward, her fingers lightly tracing along the creases in your hand. her rings shine against the porch light, drawing your attention to the different designs. some had cool-toned gems embedded into the metal, while a few were shaped into skeleton hands or spiders. your eyes drift back up, noticing the long wispy white strands of hair falling in front of her face. dark eyeshadow sparkles and frames her deep violet eyes that squint and focus down at your hand.

“i learned how to palm read for fun in high school,” she explains, sensing your curiosity as her thin eyebrows pinch together in concentration. “but… it’s been a while since i’ve done it and i'm a bit tipsy, so let’s see how this goes.”

you laugh lightly at her explanation, patiently waiting as she trails a fingernail along your palm.

“this is your lifeline… it goes down and splits off here… if i remember correctly that means you’ll be busy with your career in the future… but it’s also faint so you know how to preserve your energy.” she observes slowly, humming in thought. "that's good."

“hm… this one across your hand is… there’s a slight wave to it, which means you have an open-minded and different approach to life and issues than others.”

you hum and nod along, taking another sip of your drink and tilting your head as you listen.

“you have a super deep heart line, which means you will have long-lasting relationships. and this line right here is far and parallel to this line, meaning—i think…—that you’re more independent and don’t rely on outside influences.”

piercing loud laughter hits your ears abruptly, making the two of you flinch as four obnoxious partygoers stumble into your peaceful space. they glance at the two of you with confused and annoyed looks, as if they were offended by your presence. they stumble down into the backyard, one of them falling face-first into the weedy grass below. you glance back at sasha, who is already looking at you with a deadpan expression. 

“wanna find gene and zenix?” she asks, before hopping off the railing and leaning in to whisper to you. “let’s take some alcohol and get out of here.”

you nod in response, to which she keeps her hold on your hand to guide you back into the loud house. bodies bump into you, and sasha tugs you closer to her as she walks. you see a familiar head of black hair sticking higher in the crowd. sasha pulls him along with you, dragging both of you to a less crowded space.

“the fu-? oh hey, ladies.” gene stumbles along beside you, clearly a bit more intoxicated than the two of you.

sasha stops out of a pathway, hunching the three of you together. “we were gonna get some alcohol and take off, you coming?”

gene raises his eyebrow, looking around before nodding with a smirk. “yeah, i figured you two wouldn’t care much for this either. only reason i’m tolerating these people is because i’m three double shots in.”

sasha raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “we’ve been here an hour and you’re three double shots in?”

“hell yeah, tequila.” he nods, his eyes drooping in satisfaction.

“whatever, why don’t you grab a bottle and we’ll find zenix.”

“what about me?” a familiar voice cuts over your meeting, as the last piece to your quartet little friend group.

“these people are boring, let’s go, man.” gene throws his arm over zenix’s shoulder, causing the curly-headed brunette to pout, his piercing tugging on his lip.

“yeah i know, i thought cooler people would show up.”

“it’s fine, you can make it up to us by grabbing us some drinks to go and meeting us out front.” sasha smirks, tugging you along by your arm out the front door.

you can hear zenix scoff before he’s drowned out by the noise, but you’re positive he’s already making his way to the kitchen with gene.

the moon bounces off sasha’s hair, the soft layers reflecting back into your eyes. she turns, looking satisfied that she was able to round up your other two friends so quickly.

“that might be a new record of finding the two of them and getting them to agree.” you note, earning a rare laugh from the girl.

“i know, what was that, like two minutes?”

you two walk further into the empty street, the buzzing of the alcohol slightly beginning to wear off as you realize you hadn’t taken a sip in a while. you look down at your empty hands with a frown.

“i left my drink.”

“here,” she hands you hers. “we’re about to get some more anyways.”

“thanks,” you swig the rest of it down, drinking from the other side of sasha’s dark lipstick stains on the cup.“i didn’t know you knew how to palm read, though.”

she kicks a pebble down the road, a content look in her eyes as she sways in place next to you. one arm of her arms laces around your waist as the two of you mindlessly walk and spin under a lone buzzing street light.

“yeah… i also learned a bit about tea reading, i can show you sometime back at the house.”

“ooh, yeah, if you wanna.”

“duh.” she says with a humored smile in her tone. ”hanging out with you is way cooler than any of those dorks inside.”

“even zenix and gene?” you laugh.

“oh yeah, we’re the coolest.”

“package secured! let’s go!” zenix and gene walk out of the house, pulling out not one but two bottles from their t-shirts.

“i kinda wanna go to our spot in the park,” zenix leads the way, walking down the street with bottle in hand. “from back then.”

“alright, it’s not far.” gene lazily agrees, taking a sip and passing the bottle to sasha.

you and sasha keep your arms linked around the other, walking along after them while squinting up to see if you could find any constellations.

“shadow knights reunion?”

“zenix, we are not the shadow knights anymore.”

“ugh, whatever!”

©starhvney, 2024. please do not steal or repost my works as your own.

[sgt-tombstone]

remembered your "The 141's (and co.) reactions to The Wobble" post and now i'm curious about how they would react to this:

www. tumblr. com/in-mutual-weirdness/727545670822690816

link, ohhh my god I love that video, it’s one of my favorite improv dance videos

genuinely and realistically, I don’t think any of the 141 would touch anything like that with a twenty-foot pole because toxic masculinity and its associated rigidity is so embedded in military culture

BUT, because we like to have fun here, it reminds me of an au I wanted to write a while ago but never got around to (what else is new lmao) where Ghost was raised in a very strict dancing discipline (think ballet or traditional ballroom dance) where he had to always be in control and within rigid guidelines, but he got hurt in his mid-20s and had to give it up. He has a lot of trauma regarding dance, especially bc his father and dance instructor were horrifically abusive, teaching him to place all of his self-worth on his body and dancing ability, so having to stop is full of mixed emotions.

Then Price, the owner of a dance studio and one of the only people in the dance community that Ghost still trusts, reaches out about an improv dance class he’s holding. The purpose, he tells Ghost, is to spontaneously create movement, to free the body from habitual patterns. Ghost is… skeptical, to say the least. He attends, because Price asked him to, but he’s awful at it. He’s stiff and unyielding, body not used to the freedom that improv dance requires, and he’s constantly stepping on toes or running into his dance partners because they do something unexpected, something outside of the rule set that Ghost had grown up with.

Price convinces him to keep coming back—it’s something that needs practice and perseverance, he argues, but Ghost doesn’t really get better.

And then Soap joins the class.

He’s wild and reckless, full of endless, manic energy, and he’s a riot to dance with. Everyone loves to partner with him because he reacts so effortlessly, his movements fluid and dynamic. He’s a great leader, but he also knows when to be a support for his dance partner. Ghost watches him from the sidelines and hopes that he never gets picked to dance with him.

He does, of course, because the pairings are random and it was bound to happen eventually, and as soon as they meet on the studio floor, Ghost knows it’s going to be a disaster. Their styles are just too different; he’s too rigid, Soap is too fluid; he’s too slow, Soap is too fast; he’s too damaged, Soap is too innocent. It will never work.

But it does, somehow. Ghost sticks to what he knows, the strict regimented dance steps that he’d been taught, that had been drilled into his mind, and Soap… dances around him. He’s always exactly where Ghost needs him to be, adding in a flair between steps, keeping the improv fresh and spontaneous while also consistently returning to Ghost’s side, to his pace, making sure they stay in step the whole time. It’s breath-taking and awe-inspiring and the most terrifying thing that Ghost has ever seen. He’s addicted to it immediately.

Over the course of months, Soap manages to draw Ghost out of his shell, to drag Simon to the surface, and with it comes small measures of freedom. Simon starts deviating slightly, almost self-consciously, tiny little additions that would’ve ended in verbal or physical reprimands in the pst but now only earn blinding grins from Soap. They learn each other’s language without ever speaking, though they start talking a lot too. Soap hangs off of Simon like a burr, constantly chatting on the sidelines as they watch the other dancers, mindless, inane babble that Simon never really pays attention to; he loves the sound of Soap’s voice, and Soap doesn’t mind Simon’s lack of response.

They grow closer and closer, until their dances are so thick with tension that Price genuinely starts to hesitate pairing them together for dances. But he always relents because he knows what Simon has been through, had seen it happen and had been powerless to stop it, and seeing him open up like this is a gift worth all the brain bleaching in the world.

He changes his mind when he catches them in the studio’s supply closet, clothes hanging haphazardly, Simon’s broad back hiding Soap mostly from view but doing nothing to cover his own bare arse, and Price bans them from stepping foot in the studio for a week. They take it like the blessing in disguise it really is and scamper off like embarrassed teenagers, and secretly, after they’ve disappeared, Price can only smile fondly

[finneyfinland]

I Think We're Alone Now chapter 2

SUMMARY: Billionaire Reginald Hargreeves adopts 8 children all born on the same day of the same year. 7 of which were soon introduced as the umbrella academy. To you, the umbrella academy was nothing but a man using his power to traumatizes children. You'd know, as you were number 8. The Vampire

WARNINGS: mentions of child torture (experiments). Starvation, body horror (vampire), cannibalism, child abuse, blood, death, murder, childhood trauma (noncon tattooing), nightmares

A/N: Please listen to the warnings, there's gonna be a LOT of blood talk in this one. I'll be calling Victor Vanya but I will also use they/them as to lessen the blow. When the third season comes around we'll switch over dw

As the group follows Five to the kitchen, you try to get a head start on adjusting to Five's usual body, but slightly altered. His body usually was full of carbs and sugar with almost electricity energy shuttering throughout, to help fuel his abilities. This Five was extremely lacking the balance needed to sustain his healthy bodily growth pattern. You walk in tandem beside him before speaking quietly, "Your muscle mass will deplete rapidly if you don't feed yourself soon". He glances up at you in surprise before glaring "where does it look like I'm going?" His response puts a smile on your face as you hum, falling back a few paces to rejoin the rest of the group following behind. It's nice to see that some things don't change.

You stand between Vanya and Allison as you all watch Five run around the kitchen. "What's the date? The exact date." Vanya responds while Five grabs the package of bread, laying two slices upon the cutting board you watched him bring out. "Perfect" Is all Five says. He must have been counting on a certain date. Before you can try to unpack that Luther demands an explanation, trying to intimidate him into answering. Which goes completely ignored by Five. It's hard to focus on the very important interrogation attempt when everyone's heart rates are fluctuating rapidly. You try to listen over the many sounds only you can hear. Five matches Luther's energy before teleporting behind him trying to reach for the cupboards. You find it amusing that he has to use the step stool to reach.

"Where'd you go?" Diego asks looking to the ground. "The future. It's shit, by the way." Five responds as he grabs the sugar and teleports back to the cutting board. "Called it" Klaus exclaims as he raises his hand. "I should've listened to the old man." The way Five pauses his explanation to complement Klaus, and Klaus's immediate flamboyant thanks brings a smile to your face.

As Vanya asks a question you focus on what Five could be making. So far the ingredients are suspiciously close to the 'meals' that you all used to make as kids. The same ones you and Vanya left out for him. Looks like he still loves them.

While you were distracted Five must of said something too snarky for his own good cause Diego shoots out of his seat. You're glad Luther was able to stop him, he just got back and they're already fighting? you thought to yourself. Meanwhile Luther asks Five how much time he spent in the future. "Forty-five years, give or take" as Five's response hit the air your siblings around you sit back in disbelief. For the family it was 20 years at max, to hear that it's been 45 for him shocks you. As the heartbeats of your sibling continue to fluctuate as they struggle to digest the information in front of them Five mentions a 'Dolores' confusing the group even further.

Five grabs the newspaper with father's death on the front page. "Guess I missed the funeral." Luther and Diego seem to still be arguing about the true cause of father's sudden death. The rest of your group ignore the bubbling anger beside them in favor for the mystery that is Five. "Nice to see nothings changed." Five walks off. As he passes you Allison tries to questions him, but Five brushes her off in favor of going upstairs with his sandwich.

As he leaves the rest of your siblings and you are now even more confused. Getting what felt like more questions instead of the answers you all need. The group disperses now all splitting up to take a breather, attempt to take everything in.

With Vanya and Five together in the parlor you change into bulkier clothing to withstand the chill that so commonly is paired with the rain. It's finally time for you and your siblings to hold a mock mourning ceremony back behind the house. You pull on your long black coat to fight the cold. Before heading out you make sure to grab your umbrella that you take everywhere. It's black, with a mesh veil flowing down along all sides for extra coverage. Usually it's for the sun, but it should sustain in actual rain.

With Luther carrying the ashes everyone follows behind. You walk beside Vanya and mom, stopping near Ben's statue. "Did something happen?" Mom asks, her wiring must really be acting up. The question concerns your siblings as they answer her question with confusion. Diego tries to reassure the group but you can tell he doesn't believe his words. Pogo walks out and joins the circle to prompt Luther into starting. As he pours out father's urn the ashes drop onto the ground without any grandeur, leaving the mood awkward instead of remorseful. "Probably would have been better with some wind." Luther says, only digging himself a deeper grave.

As Pogo tries to save the occasion with a speech you couldn't help but be angered by his words. Dad might of been a smart billionaire who gave you eight a home, but that doesn't even begin to make up for his abuse. The ugly side of your thoughts peaking through at such a time as this fills you with shame. You don't think you could meet anyone's eyes. Pogo's words act as pure diesel to the flames within Diego, mirroring yours. As they explode, it doesn't seem to make anyone feel better. When Diego brings forth his number, you feel emotion start to rise from your chest.

As Number Eight you understand Diego's argument personally, even hearing the number being brought up in conversation is enough to send you back to your childhood, nothing but bad memories. It's a weakness you've tried to work through with the multiple therapists you've had over the years.

Diego's last challenge to our father sparks another ugly argument between him and Luther. Sometimes words cut deeper than blades ever could, you find it ironic that Diego of all people toe the line so closely. Arguments like this have always happened in your family, no one was similar enough to truly be close, but everyone was too close feel different, at least in the good way. The differences between you all couldn't be more stark, but the experiences you share could be enough to tie you together. If they could get over themselves anyway.

Luther swings at Diego and all hope for a nice reunion is lost in a second. You grab mom and pull the two of you away from the fighting. Heart rates increase in speed and volume as Vanya tries to get them to stop, being immediately blocked out by Klaus spurring them on. Pogo leaves the group as the brawl gets too close to Ben's statue. "We don't have time for this." Just as Five walks away to return to the house Luther's punch collapses Ben's statue. As the pieces hit the ground it feels like a part of you is shattering along side it. The world stops for a second, before your forced to shift your eyes back, numb and alone.

Ben's been gone for a while, but you haven't quite let he go yet. Both of you were close when he was alive. Seeing the only grace he was given disrespected digs at an old wound.

The moment doesn't last as Diego whips a knife through the air, it clips Luther's arm. Halting the fight as Luther walks off clutching his arm. Vanya moves to confront Diego and a chill rushes up your spine. Not able to dare risk confrontation, another fight would only make you feel worse. You walk back into the house, head low. Wanting the loudness of everyone's heart beats out of your ears, missing your apartment now more than ever.

You collect your bag and make your way to the front doors. It seems the familiar smells and sounds prove to be too much for you. As you open the front doors and step out onto the street the once harsh chill air feels freeing, a dark weight lifted enough to breath unburdened. As you stand on the side walk your brain calls back another old memory of when you left for good all those years ago. I was dumb to think anything would change you think to yourself as the taxi begins your ride back to your quiet apartment.

Although your body has left, your mind is still swimming with anxieties. That's when the itching starts. It burns into your forearm as your rip your sleeve back. When you look down your met with the tattoo you were branded with as a child.

You were the last number, placed almost at the end of the line. You're forced to watch your sibling cling to each other as tears stream down their young faces. As you sit in between Five and Ben their heart beats clue you into their fear. Ben is almost in tears just at the sight of our siblings, while Five tries to put up a brave front. Meanwhile Klaus has been dissociating since Luther sat in the chair first. When you look up you can see Vanya as they stand on the landing of the staircase looking down as we cling to one another. Sometimes you wonder if their happy that they're missing out. But later when you're sleeping over in their room you spot a black marker drawing of an umbrella matching yours on their arm.

Days at home were hard, but at night there was a sliver of peace waiting for you. A secret you've kept to yourself, the dark nights were a comfort only you could have. When the last of your siblings succumbed to sleep they're heart beats would slow, sometimes if you were really lucky they would sync up for a few beats. It would only happen for a second, but when it did, it was like music. All different instruments coming together as one. You were trained to distinguish your siblings heart beats, but when they combined there was no telling who was who. Klaus or Luther, Five or Diego, Vanya or Ben they were indistinguishable. It was only after two or three beats separated that you could tell. You're sure that if you told them about your love for their hearts, they would be weirded out. So you've kept it to yourself. To this day the sounds and patterns of your siblings live inside your brain. Training forever burnt into your skull.

Your thoughts come to a close as the cab stops in front of your complex. As you walk up to your floor you extend your senses to the greater neighborhood around. Searching in vain for your siblings. Surprisingly you find the faintest sound belonging to Five. Two other heart beats foreign to you are with him. Unlocking your door and closing it with a click your hang up your coat and prepare to settle in for the night. Exhausted, your mind is quick to let Five's heart slip into your subconscious. It makes your some nice background noise as you sit on your couch sleep blinks in and out as your own heart rate slows.

Five's however doesn't get the memo. It cuts out, and accelerates to levels harmful to the common human. Your mind is too tired from the long day, but a part of you begs to keep your eyes and ears open. Five's heart only cuts out when he's jumping, and it's happening way too soon. But with how far away he is there's no use in listening any longer. Five's the one who can teleport anyway your brain reasons. As long as his heart doesn't stop, you shouldn't have to worry.

A couple minutes pass and Five jumps out of your reach before flickering back in. See, he's fine you slip in and out of sleep, still calling out to your siblings. Eventually your able to fall into a gentle sleep. Soothed by the hearts of your neighbors, and the cars passing below..

Days are long for a wolf living among sheep. Every passerby is a meal that is practically begging to be devoured. The wolf's life as a sheep doctor is torturous. Can you imagine? A perfectly prepared meal sitting open on a table. The wolf is sure that anyone would understand if they took a bite, after all isn't it the wolf's natural instincts? Why should the wolf have to starve itself as sheep prance around them? Aren't the sheep just asking for a wolf to come along?!

It's pointless for a wolf to hold back, barely surviving isn't enough. When you have an infinite source of food, wouldn't you just dig in. Why hold back? Who's to judge you if you just eat them too? It's not like the sheep ever saw the wolf as anything more than a predator. Proving them right is only natural. It's always been the way of life, hasn't it? Survival of the fittest and all…

You're sweating, limbs aching. You must of fallen asleep on the couch again. There's this loud beating in your ears, it's starting to get on your nerves. Oh wait, it's your heart. No wonder it was so loud. Faintly other hearts join yours through the quiet night until you realize one's different from the rest. It's unique, and it's fast. Too fast. You groan, naps always act like a hard reset. All sorts of questions come to mind. Who am I, where am I, what time is it, hell what day is it? The special heart beat has gotten louder, faster in your ears. Faintly you remember you were listening for this very heart.

As your mind clears it all comes back to you. It's Five's heart. Five's back. His heart is going way too fast to be normal, and it's giving you a headache. You stand with a huff. 'Might as well go check'. You think to yourself as you put your coat and shoes on. The walk to Five's location is interrupted as he jumps away. Luckily you can still hear it. Now that you think about it, you can hear another. Vanya's apartment must be close. How Five managed to find it is beyond you. You sigh and call a cab, you've already walked too long tonight. If you want to hold out until your next feeding day you'll need to hold back on wasting energy.

The ride is easy, and your left in font of Vanya's complex. You'll just have to guess with your ears what floor she's on. As you walk floor to floor you start to hear voices. Five's talking, you must be getting close then. As you step up to the door you breathe in a calming breath. Here goes nothing you knock on the door eight times, a calling card you used to use as kids. The conversation inside halts. Quickly Vanya walks to the door before opening it. When the door opens that's when you can smell it. Fresh food.

As your eyes scan the room for it your eyes land on a injured Five. It's not his blood you can smell though. He has someone, he has someone's limbs. Quickly your mouth fills with saliva. You rip your eyes away to focus on Vanya. Their concerned face meets your stoic one. You smile, "Hey, you left early and I barely got to talk to you today." You hope this will be a decent lie. Luckily for you they fall for it. "Oh right sorry, I just needed a breather." Vanya replies, "Yeah so did I, our siblings are just as loud as ever." As Vanya opens the door further you step in the space. "Is that a new violin bow? Did the old one finally break?" You smile sadly, it was practically a gift from father. "Yeah it couldn't take anymore string repairs." Vanya closes the door before turning to look at the old thing.

Finally you turn to Five "What're you doing here? You smell like blood." Five smirks, "I knew I couldn't hide it from you." he pull out a wrap of newspaper. You can tell by the smell alone that it's flesh. You swallow as he unwraps it. Vanya gasps as he reveals three fingers, still fresh. "I need you to tell me about this person, think you can do it?" Five asks, he cut off fingers for you. He knew you would come and find him.

You clear your throat, "how long since they died?" You can't eat blood from the dead, father found that out the hard way. After 4 hours the blood turns to poison. "About an hour now." Five says casually. Vanya sits down on their couch, turned away as to not see. They've become accustomed over the years to your diet. But the fear that comes with severed parts is normal. It's ordinary.

"Alright" you outstretch you hand palm up. Five steps forward and drops the fingers into you hand. Your eyes lock onto them, it's been awhile since you've eaten body parts. Luckily your stomach can digest whole bones.

With one last breath you lift a finger up to your mouth. The taste is even better than the smell. The blood fills your mouth as your teeth tare the skin and muscle. The flavor is rich, and filling. Your teeth crunch the bones and grind them into nothing. The first goes too fast. As you bring up the second finger you focus on taking in any information you can.

Male, good diet, healthy. Another gulp. Upper 20s to lower 30s. There's a old blood pressure problem. He's taking the proper medication. His bones snap from the pressure of your jaw as the warm nectar of life drips down your throat. Veins burst gushing into your mouth. Lots of stress in daily life. Strict boss, long shifts taking a toll. High heart rate within the last seconds. Another bite and there's a slight after taste. He's had alcohol with the last 12 hours. Drinking irresponsibly on the job. The skin smells of gunpowder. Vastly different locations. A clean office then dirty streets. Steady hands on decline. The muscle is plump, he works out. Not enough at his age, but semi-regularly. The third has passed your lips without you noticing, too hungry. He hates his job, not enough money maybe. Or too many hours, bad coworkers. He's low on the chain, not respected enough.

Your hunger blinds you to the outside world. You lick you hand clean, stomach never truly full. Soon you realize that there's eyes on you. Quickly you straighten up. Your fangs are out, your eyes are probably blown out, you're panting like a dog. You lost track and now you've embarrassed yourself. You meet Five's eyes hesitantly, ashamed. He's smirking at you, that dumb look. It's like he's planned everything out and the pieces are all falling into place. You remember what he used to say, 'I only stand so close because I'm stronger than you'. "Well, what've you got?" Always one to cut to the chase. "Healthy, but an alcoholic. Regretful, angry about his job. Slightly drunk, but got another shift less than 10 hours ago. Works for an office type headquarters, but is low on the chain. A throw away worker. Quickly replaced." You finish as you take out a spare tissue to wipe any leftover blood. Five nods at each point before turning to sit back onto the chair behind him. "Thank you for the plentiful meal." You say as your face wipes clean. Five scowls. You walk around the couch before sitting next to Vanya.

Eventually it gets late, Vanya insists both of you stay until morning. You're quick to accept while Five goes along with it. Vanya brings out blankets for Five and invites you to sleep over in their room. You lay beside Vanya, the same way you used to as kids. They fall asleep and you can hear Five jump away as Vanya's heart slows. You get up from the bed and write them a note. 'Shift at 5 :)' A little white lie. You leave it on their counter before heading back home. Gotta leave before sunlight. Even though you just ate, you didn't bring your umbrella with you.

Tomorrow you'll stop by the house. Peak your head in the door before leaving. You don't want to get too involved, getting close to the family never brings any good.

We're just too destructive.

[aurorangen]

the beach conservationist

we've finally reached the end of beach conservationist and you know what that means…a post dedicated to me rambling about my thoughts on this generation (and this pack) lmao

as you can tell, postcard legacy enables me to explore everything about the packs and you already know island living lacks SO MUCH. the world is beautiful, i love the beach conservation, the sense of community with the islanders and the festivals...sulani is perfect for pretty pictures but i'm a gameplay girl and i found it underwhelming.

what i liked about this gen was how all the goals let me explore all island living gameplay. i got to see the turtles hatch, dolphins, island festivals etc. it was fun to think of how each goal links to my story instead of just completing them. my ideas became better over time and each one had a meaning behind like how mermaids link to mystery. speaking of, there's NO WAY i was turning bryce into a merman IMAGINE. it was an optional goal so i got away with it!

but i wanted my boy to live THE beach life. over time the beach interactions became so boring, it felt like a chore to come up with posts. you've seen like a thousand bbq posts, the same interactions with the dolphin, beach conservation career animations (and there's not much with kids either, they just play in the sand lol). like with diving. you spend all the simoleons on upgrades to get new moodlets...sims 3 island paradise was MUCH MORE interactive! you could see your sims under water doing stuff! and where are the water sports? it would have been perfect for surfing, water skiing, sailing...

time to talk about Bryce. I love him, he's by far my favourite. there's so much character with him. from your typical beach boy, mr popular, awkward bf to an admired icon, still mr popular, loving dad/husband. he has a true passion for work, is the type of person to host incredible get togethers and certainly someone who has amazing energy that can light up a room. one thing i found hilarious about him was his yoga. is he even the type to do yoga? but then his personality showed when i saw him do it (and failing) at the start to then flexing on his skills. i'd say the wellness helped him to de-stress from work!

also this was the generation i started writing dialogue and i was so nervous about posting it. i really like writing it to give my sims a voice and i love how you all enjoy it too! you can definitely see the improvement with my posts from start to finish.

special mentions to @duusheen for creating leilani! i love leilani's personality compared to bryce's. he's energetic and expressive while she is all relaxed and composed. they both helped each other develop and went through so many first things together: i loved watching them grow! the highlight of this gen for me, was doing our collabs and seeing bryce and leif's families interact! i'm EXCITED for renee and jay plans. and to @estah for creating levi! levi is such a fun addition to the legacy and i love his friendship with bryce! he's always the one to msg to check up on him or ask to hang out!

i would love to know any of your thoughts on bryce's gen, so feel free to comment <3

[theamityelf]

Much like Sakura, I feel like a lot of people would have it bad for Akane. It's honestly wild that she didn't have a Kazuichi or Tenko equivalent, because people would simp so hard for her. Like, she is what "Not to be a lesbian but oh my god" was made for. The parkour, the casual disposition, the gleefully clueless behavior? Get outta here. She goes through life with such an air of confidence, she completely lacks self-consciousness when she admits she doesn't understand something, she has a cute smile, come on. This girl has Undyne energy.

In fact, here's me lowballing a list of characters I think had a crush on Akane when they were attending Hope's Peak:

Chihiro. Absolutely. Akane is strong in so many ways that Chihiro would appreciate. I can just see Chihiro in the library working on some new project (maybe white hat hacking the school) and Akane parkours past a window and Chihiro just runs up to the window and stares out, admiring. Chihiro blushing when Akane walks past. Chihiro smiling shyly when Akane calls her by the misremembered name she never corrected. (Might be "Cheerio" or "Fuji Apples".) One day Chihiro and Chiaki are hanging out, and Chihiro mentions having a crush on Akane (which, to a lot of people, would be like playing a Tomb Raider game and saying, "Wait a minute, is Lara Croft kind of hot?"), and Chiaki just goes, "Of course. She's the Undyne to your Alphys." And it changes Chihiro's life.

Mahiru. She swears she usually likes people she considers "reliable", but Akane's free spirit nature just really speaks to her. (Not to give credence to Freud, but I do think the experience of her mother often being out of reach was a formative one, and Akane being someone who will be having a conversation with you one minute, fighting coach the next, and climbing the school the next, would maybe invoke a lot of those feelings for Mahiru.) And she starts to notice that Akane has some depth to her that others don't care to notice, and that drives her crazy. Someone talks crap about Akane, and Mahiru lambastes them to the moon and back. Hiyoko would hate it. Like, it would be just the hugest force of humbling for Hiyoko. I like Hiyoko, by the by; it's just deeply funny how much of her classism would get challenged over this.

Gundham. I kind of addressed this in my Soniakanedam posts, but yeah, I feel like Gundham could easily have a crush on both Akane and Sonia for very different reasons. He has two subtly different energies that he likes to embody, and Akane matches one and Sonia matches the other, and it blends so well. And not for nothing, he would be such a gentleman about it.

Mikan. Easy. Akane is just walking around slightly injured all the time, and she's there insisting Akane sits down so she can at least bandage her, and also cautioning that Akane should really wear a helmet when she does dangerous things, and generally fretting over her in a way she doesn't get a lot. And Akane defends her to other people in a way she doesn't get a lot. It's easy.

Teruteru, but that's almost a free space.

Leon, but with a vibe comparable to Teruteru, in that I'm not serious about it.

Makoto could have a small crush on her, probably in passing. I'm hearing "big-boobed supermodel" and I'm thinking he would at least notice her as an older student who is pretty and cooler than him.

Potentially Nekomaru, but I think it would take him a while to recognize his feelings for what they are. And also I'm kind of partial to them being the way they are but it's completely platonic. But romantically, it's a nice ship that I do like.

(Okay so I have thought about a throuple with Akane, Fuyuhiko, and Peko for a while now, but I'll save that for some other time. It might just be that I want to ship Akane with Peko. It's kind of a Celeste/Hina situation, in that I think Peko would not want to have a crush on Akane but would be unable to help it. Any potential for romance between Fuyuhiko and Akane I mostly see in the post-SDR2 space.)

The only reason I'm not listing Sonia is because I see it less as a crush than a casually flirty friendship with the potential to become more.

[celticcrossanon]

BRF Reading - 8th of August, 2022

This is speculation only

Cards drawn on the 8th of August, 2023

Question: Have William and Charles grown closer since the death of Her Late Majesty?

Note: I started this reading hoping for a yes answer, that they had grown closer, that their relationship had deepened because of the shared grief - and then I saw the cards. Sigh.

Interpretation: Not really.

Card One: The Ten of Swords, reversed

The Ten of Swords is a card of despair, betrayal, hitting rock bottom. In the reverse, the meaning can be a recovery from a betrayal/despair/hitting rock bottom, or it can be an intensification of the upright energy.

The energy I get from this card is of a betrayal, and of a slow recovery from that betrayal that was still happening at the time of Her Late Majesty's death. What I am getting from the energy is that the trust between the two was completely shattered because of the actions of one party. It took time to recover from that betrayal, and time to decide to see if the relationship could be repaired, and the first slow steps to repairing the relationship were taking place when the Queen died.

I feel a lot of hurt, and it is expected hurt, which in some ways makes it worse - whoever was betrayed saw it coming and was expecting it to happen while hoping that it would not - so a lot of hurt, and then quite a bit of time apart to heal, and then the decision to try and rebuild something from the broken relationship, and then the death of Queen Elizabeth II. The image I see of the relationship at this stage is of a vine just uncurling its first shoots and tentatively reaching across the distance, so it was in the early stages of reaching out and seeing if something could be rebuilt when Her Majesty died.

I drew clarifiers for this card. I asked "Who was betrayed" and the card I drew was the Hierophant, the BRF as an institution, and the underlying energy was the Four of Wands, the family, followed by the Ten of Pentacles, the family and its legacy. So someone did something that was seen as betraying the BRF and its legacy, and also as betraying the other person's family, and that caused the trust between Charles and William to shatter (I'm not getting a clear answer as to who felt betrayed of the two of them, so that suggests the situation could be complicated as they could both feel betrayed by the other person, or one could feel betrayed and the other didn't think they did anything wrong, etc and so forth).

Card Two: The Seven of Pentacles, reversed

The Seven of Pentacles is a card of harvest, of rewards, of putting in the work to see something grow, and of deciding whether you should continue to put in the time and effort, of whether you should weed the garden and abandon the project. In the reverse, it says there is no harvest, no reward, a lack of effort was made or the work was left unfinished, and there is no result or a poor result.

In this deck, this card also represents choices and loyalty. The craftsman Daedalus is sponsored by the king, but he is asked to help the King's wife betray her husband (be unfaithful to him). So it has an energy of choosing who or what are you faithful to, deciding where to invest your time and energy.

The energy of this card is that someone has invested their time and energy in the wrong places. They have been tempted away, like the wife tempted Daedalus, and they have invested their time and energy in something that has given them a very poor outcome.

For me, this card is talking about Charles investing time and effort in Harry and his wife, and betraying the monarchy by his actions in enabling the people who are trying to hurt the monarchy. I think Charles saw some short term gain in supporting Harry and Meghan and he went after that.

Card Three: The Tower, reversed

The Tower is a sudden, shocking moment or event that completely destroys part of your life and you have to rebuild from the rubble. The Tower in reverse usually means avoiding or delaying this event, or resisting change.

The energy from this card says that the event is the death of Queen Elizabeth II, and the energy is of rebuilding both the internal world (grieving, adjusting to life without her) and the external world (managing this event as a member of the BRF and being mindful of its affect on the general public) after her death. Charles and William were both grieving after her death and they both worked to represent the BRF in the period of mourning that followed. The energy is not of two people growing closer in a shared grief, but of laying differences aside for the moment in the sense of 'this is bigger than both of us, let's work as a team and do what has to be done'. There was a shared sense of loss, but I'm not getting any energy of them turning to each other for comfort during the grief, or the grief building a bond between them, or anything like that. "United in appearances but separate as people" is the best way I can describe the energy.

Card Four: The Six of Pentacles

This is a card of charity, of giving or receiving material help or support, of giving and taking being balanced between two people.

The energy of this card is of Charles on his throne, handing out status/money/awards to other people. It reminds us that after the death of Queen Elizabeth, Charles is now king, the ruler, and William is the Prince of Wales, the heir.

Charles has given things to William - he has created him as Prince of Wales and Earl of Chester, two titles that do not automatically go to the male heir (unlike the titles of the Duke of Cornwall etc). William has received them. However, the energy here is not of a loving father giving gifts to his son. It is of an overlord, a king, giving his one of his men his rightful dues (what is due to him under the law and by custom). In return, the King will expect certain things from that man.

The scene at the coronation where William recited the oath to be the King's liege man came into my mind when I picked up this card. In the old days one of the duties of the liege man to supply soldiers for the king, so many of each type, and the lead them in battle. In current times, things are different, but that expectation of support and of fighting on the king's side remains in the energy of this card. Charles expects William to support him unquestioningly and to fight alongside him in any battles he has. William may have other ideas than unquestioning obedience to his father's wishes.

Card Five: The Three of Pentacles, reversed

The Three of Pentacles is a card of working together on a larger project, of being part of a team. Reversed, it means that the people can not work together, they are not a team. This is the energy that is coming through this card.

The energy of this card says very plainly that Charles and William can not work together as a team. Their aims, their methods, and their approaches are too different for them to work as a team on a larger project with any degree of comfort. They can work separately towards the same goal, or each can have their own part that they manage, but they can not be yoked together as a team. It just does not work. Their ideologies are too different (as an example, compare the formality of Charles's offices when he was at Clarence house to the casual informality of William's office. It is like working in a suit and tie compared to working in jeans. The two just do not mix, even though each is fine by itself).

The card has three people offering their pentacles, their work, to a fourth person, with the three people standing side by side as if they are part of a team. It could be that Charles (the single person, the manager) is asking William (one of his underlings) to work on a project with one or more other people, and for reasons of his own William is saying No (the rumours that Harry and Travalyst would be working together and become part of Earthshot come to mind - it is that sort of situation and refusal).

Underlying Energy: The High Priestess

The High Priestess is the card of the unconscious, intuition, patience in a situation, and secrets.

The energy of secrets comes through strongly. On the card, the woman is blocking the way from the underworld to the earthly word, so things hidden will not come to light. The energy is of secrets - someone wants them exposed, and someone wants them to be kept hidden. This tension underlies all the cards above, from the breaking of a trust/betrayal through the death of the Queen and ending in a refusal to work as part of a team under the other person. Secrets, especially hidden secrets, are causing some or all of the tension between Charles and William.

The other energy of this card is of patience, and things taking time. Once the first grief over Queen Elizabeth's death has passed and both Charles and William have settled into their new roles, then, if both people still want it, the initial rebuilding of some sort of relationship after it was shattered can continue if no other circumstances occur to prevent it, but this will proceed slowly and it will take time and patience on both sides for the rebuilding to happen.

Cards: Four out of six cards in this reading are reversed. That is not happy energy. Things are not the best between William and Charles.

Major Suit: Pentacles appear in three out of six cards. Pentacles are about wealth, assets, status, and other material things. The issues in this reading relate to the things represented by the suit of Pentacles. Status is coming through as a strong energy - keeping someone elevated when they shouldn't be, or making deals with the devil to expand your status.

Conclusion:

I do not see any evidence of William and Charles growing closer after the death of Queen Elizabeth II. Instead, I see a story of a relationship and trust that was shattered by what one or both parties saw as a betrayal of the BRF and of that person's home life, a betrayal that was caused by one party wanting an expansion of their status, and that overtures were being made towards rebuilding something when the Queen died. Since then, the two have worked together but separately to move the BRF through the funeral, they have grieved separately, and they have had to adjust to their new roles. Charles gave William his rightful position as heir (Prince of Wales and Earl of Chester), but in return he expects William to support him unquestionably, and William can not do that. There are indications that Charles wanted William to work in partnership with specific other people and William refused. Charles and William can work towards a common goal but they can not work together on the same team. Their relationship is still recovering from a betrayal that shattered the trust between them. It can possibly recover over time, but it will be a slow process, needing patience and understanding from both of them, and it is by no means certain that something can be rebuilt from what was wrecked. The question of secrets, what to reveal and what to keep hidden, and the tension caused by opposing views on this underlies all the events mentioned above.

[the-sinful-voice-witch]

HOW I IMAGINE AMY'S PARTICIPATION IN THE MOVIE

(Since the first trailer of Sonic 3 has a devastating lack of Amy, I'm going to repost this big text I wrote back in 2022, honestly if she actually shows up I doubt it will be any close to this theory but it's ok I just want to see her)

Ok so now to finish already with my theory about Amy I'm going to write the things i imagine happening in the movie (for better understanding scroll down to read the other parts). And then I'll start talking about Rouge, well before the hypothetical movie Amy scenes I'll explain my version of her abilities:

It's Canon that in the movies there's something called Chaos power and it's been manifested in Sonic as superspeed decorated with a great visual of blue electric light in all his body in his case he was born with it, then knuckles also has a representation of Chaos power in strength and also a bit of speed but not even close to Sonic's basically as everybody knows is strength equal to Sonic's speed and is decorated with electric light as well but Red. Then we have Tails who has the ability to fly but that has nothing to do with chaos powers but he is decorated too with yellow light but in his case we only see it electric when he is using his gadgets, so electric energy or not... It comes from his high technology gadgets and not any powers... We also already know that Shadow's chaos powers are the chaos control, he can teleport and creat energy spears.

So for Amy i though a mix between Tails non chaos gadgets and the chaos power in the other furro guys bodies, her abilities physically speaking aren't chaos powered, she knows boxing, she is flexible and can make pretty acrobatic movements but her signature is her hammer she can summon out of air so to explain this skill in the movie i took another characteristic of her: her ability to read fortune cards and as i explained in my other post turned the Fortune cards in a Chaos relic/item I'm not sure how to name it so basically Amy found the cards someday and the cards chose her as rightful owner and gave her a weapon, one of the cards with a hammer drawing on it became a real hammer and since then Amy can summon both the cards and the hammer whenever she wants though sometimes the cards manifest by themselves if they need Amy to know something and of course everytime she summon them they are decorated with with pink electric light, and only Amy's eyes and hands have this light as well but not her entire body like sonic and knuckles. So her Chaos abilities come from chaos objects she is connected with and not from inside her body. (Important: in other media I've seen people being able to hold Amy's hammer like it weighs nothing but at least In this movie i don't want that i want it to be it like Thor hammer also if it's taken far away from her it will just go poof and be back at her hands but if she exhausts too much herself or if she gets knock out it will poof too)

And now the movie points:

1. I don't know if doing this at the beginning of the movie or in some flashback but we need a scene with Amy tripping and finding a chaos emerald and the cards reacting to it's chaos energy and she reading the disaster that will happen if she doesn't brings it back to the hedgehog hero.

2. After finally reaching earth guided by the fortune cards and not knowing the hero hedgehog, she will cross paths with Shadow and first she'll think he is the hero she is looking for but before trying to give the emerald to him she feels something off as she feels the cards reacting to his chaos energy but in a dark way so she hesitates and it's ambushed by Rouge who steals the gem and comments that because she is a good spy she knows Amy can detect the chaos energy therefore she could track the rest of the emeralds, Amy refuses seeing those 2 are up to no good and gets kidnapped (by eggman robots, G.U.N staff, or even the Aliens from Shadow's game i don't know) she tries to reason saying that the planet will be in danger if she doesn't give the emeralds to the hedgehog hero who obviously she will remark that can't be Shadow (and I was hoping these 2 could have a conversation where Amy will be confused and in fact Shadow will get a tiny bit memory trigged) but Rouge laughs and doesn't believes her and not that she cares.

3. But the moment she is Alone she realizes she still has a portal ring left and asks the cards to guide her somewhere close to the real hero and is teleported in green heel... Where she will meet Wade who comments she looks like a pink girl version of Sonic and Amy concludes that he must be real hedgehog hero and Wade offers to take her to Sonic's house but Amy starts having a crisis because she doesn't have the emerald anymore, she failed and made things difficult to the hero she was supposed to help save the world and now she is too ashamed to face him... Then Wade opens up to her and tells her that he has someone who admires, the sheriff and that he sometimes feels like he gets in his way and that he is useless but the sheriff (you know who is he xD) has always treated him as friend and always appreciated his help and that that sheriff is Sonic's dad and for sure he taught him well and he is sure Sonic won't be mad at her. With this Amy gets encouraged enough to face him, she tanks Wade and when they were about to go to Sonic's place... Green heels is under attack, Amy looks at Wade smiles determined while summoning her hammer and says: I'll never forget your kindness Wade and don't worry i promise I'll protect your home and then she rushes into action while Wade goes to help the people.

3. Sonic and his bros are struggling with the menace( eggman robots, aliens... Don't know) and then he sees a pink electric shape smashing the enemy and then slow motion happens and their eyes meet.... Then she finishes the enemy and the hammer poofs away while she gasps for the effort and side looks sonic shyly then sonic glups thinking about Tom teasing about this situation happening (scroll down to read the headcanon) and tries to say something but before any of the hedgehogs could say anything Tails or knuckles or both start thanking and praising Amy for helping them with her cool hammer and Amy thanks them overwhelmed and then Sonic wanting attention finally speaks, thanks her and ask her to introduce herself... Amy does and when she starts to explain what is she doing there she starts to apologize crying (fans of spy x family remember Anya's face while she apologized to Damian? THAT FACE), she is so sorry because she came from the other side of the Galaxy just to do a simple task and she couldn't help him and on top of that she made things harder for him and maybe because of her the earth is doomed... Sonic tries to calm her and she ashamedly asks if he would give her a chance to redeem her mistake even though she messed it up big and Sonic moved by her honest tears gives her a motivational speech about how awesome and brave she is for traveling the Galaxy just to help save a world that isn't hers knowing so little about the situation and that of course she wants a Thor in his group XD (she doesn't get the reference but the other two do and she takes it as a compliment) Amy blushes at his speech (completely obviously to us viewers she falls in love with him) and comments that now she is sure she found the true hero with how cool, bright and handsome sonic is and Sonic gets an ego boost at the same time he gets a crushing hard crisis while Tails and knuckles laughs.

4. The trio asks Amy about her abilities and there's a flashback with a classic Amy explaining the moment she found the cards and got the hammer. Then after this let's say we'll get more action scenes and trying to collect the emeralds and the master emerald ECT ECT more likely they'll separate in groups more fighting...

5. So at some point Sonic team and rouge are trying to save the planet and Amy is feeling powerless because now is the moment to do something and she can't and the cards are not helping her and then she sees shadow, then we get the famous SA2 conversation, (i would make it a bit longer like Amy commenting about the first time she saw him mistaking him for the hero). Then Shadow finally remembers, he turns his head looking at Amy, she sees a tear dropping from his determined sad eyes and Shadow said the famous Shadamy sentence I'll fulfill my promise for Maria and for YOU. And goes to help then Amy will be watching wondering.... "Maybe i DID GIVE the EMERALD to a HEDGEHOG HERO after all"

6. After Shadow's disappeared and Sonic gives his ring to Rouge saying Shadow was a hero too he looks at Amy and she smiles sadly, rushes to hug him and she says "I'm so glad you saved the world... Together" and Sonic (nervous 💗) says "WE saved the world together". Rouge goes her way (don't worry i will write her movie scenes as well) and the other four go back to green heels where Amy sadly starts to say goodbye but Sonic stops her saying she should stay and that earth has a lot of things she would love and the wachowskis offer her to stay with them (something that makes Sonic nervous 💗) but Amy looks at the family and comments that they have way too many people in the house and that she'll feel bad like is imposing and then Dad Wade steps in and offers her to live with him, that his Wade cave could use a female touch other than his mom when she visits and Amy is delighted and Tom comments to Sonic oh look that means she is going to be your cute neighbor next door 😏 and Sonic is like ( nervously ) "stop it don't you dare go there" 😖 but then he looks at Amy and she looks at him and they smile to each other

7. Last scene: they are playing baseball and this Time is Amy the one hitting the ball while this time is knuckles throwing it (everyone is worried because of knuckles force but Amy uses her hammer and no problem xD) after she hits it Wade is there cheering: YEEEESSS THAT'S MY GIRL! HAVE YOU SEEN HER???WOOOO !! Everyone is laughing and rolling their eyes and Sonic goes to Amy to congratulate her and tells her they are going to get Ice cream and asks her if she tried it yet and she is like: ice cream?? Yeah! I love ice cream!! Wade bought me one the other day, i think is definitely my favorite food!! So... What were you saying about an ice cream date? 🥰 And Sonic is like... Date? What? I didn't mean it like a Date i mean... Like all of us...😳 And then Wade comes: oh Ice cream! Yeah let's get some for everyone jaja then he whispers to sonic : hey you macho blue you better not try get all flirty with my pinky little girl I'm watching you...😤 And Sonic like:🙄😑 Amy: come on Wade! Sonic! Let's go!!😁 Sonic: come on Wade i race you! Wade: that is not fair....

You get the idea.

So this is how i imagine Amy being introduced in the movies what do you think?

[thatdammchickennugget]

hi, congrats on 1500 followers (yes, i’m one of them 😁) that’s awesome!! i saw your post about what you’re doing for your celebration so here’s a little bit about me:

i’m female, kinda tan, i have brownish blond hair (more on the brown side), brown eyes, and i’m pretty tall. i’m very social and i love talking and hanging out with my friends, but i love reading in my free time and i also like to cook/bake. i’m one of those people who in school wouldn’t be popular, but i’m fairly well known (if that makes sense). i’m extremely spontaneous and i have adhd, but it’s not too bad. my friends would prob say i’m crazy, smart, and loyal as my best qualities. my worst is probably that i talk to much and i definitely overshare. for the fandom, could you pair me with one of the guys from percy jackson? in a romantic relationship please! maybe like a best friends to lovers or we’re drunk and it ends with confessing feelings? for either can it end with a kiss (sorry i know that sounds kinda weird but i think you know what i mean).

thanks! and congrats again 1500 followers!

hey! thank you so much and also for following my silly little blog (even though I'm lacking in writing for pjo right now) 💕💕 I hope this is okay 💕

Romantic Match-Up: Percy Jackson

percy first met you when he first came to camp half-blood, where your outgoing nature and infectious energy caught his attention from the start. he found himself drawn to your spontaneity and warmth, your presence always promising a fun time.

Your beauty stood out to Percy amidst the sea of campers, your tall stature adding to your magnetic presence. though you were well-known among your peers, percy was surprised to find that you were humble and down-to-earth, qualities that endeared you to him even more.

quickly becoming the best of friends, you and Percy shared countless adventures together, from training sessions in the arena to late-night chats by the campfire. your love for stories and cooking complemented percy's own interests, his interests being loving to hear you talk about your latest book and happily taste testing any new recipe you tried.

despite your outgoing nature, percy couldn't help but notice the moments when you seemed lost in thought, your brown eyes betraying a depth of emotion that he longed to explore. he found himself drawn to you in ways he couldn't explain, a growing sense of admiration and affection blossoming within him.

it was during a raucous campfire celebration one night that everything changed between you and percy. as the evening wore on and the drinks the stoll brother’s had managed to sneak past chiron and mr. d flowed freely, inhibitions faded away, and you found yourselves sharing secrets and confessions in the flickering firelight.

in a moment of drunken honesty, you ended up accidentally confessing your feelings to him, the words tumbling out in a rush of emotion and adrenaline. despite the surprise of the confession, there was an undeniable sense of rightness to it, as if everything had finally fallen into place.

as the confession hung in the air, a charged silence enveloped the space around you. in the flickering glow of the campfire, you locked eyes with him, your heart pounding in your chest as you awaited his response.

percy's gaze held a mixture of surprise and something deeper, a vulnerability that mirrored your own. without a word, he reached out, his hand cupping your cheek gently as he leaned in closer, closing the distance between you with a sense of urgency.

the first touch of his lips against yours sent a shiver down your spine, igniting a firestorm of sensation that swept through your entire being. in that moment, everything else faded away—the noise of the campfire, the chatter of your friends—and all that remained was the electrifying connection between you and percy.

the kiss was tentative at first, a hesitant exploration of something new and unknown. but as the seconds stretched into eternity, it deepened, becoming a passionate embrace fueled by years of unspoken longing and desire.

lost in the intensity of the moment, you and percy allowed yourselves to be consumed by the fire of your newfound love. it was as if the world had shifted on its axis, aligning perfectly to bring you together in this singular moment of pure, unadulterated bliss.

Song: Style by Taylor Swift

[laprimera]

catching up to dash since early morning is wild. but since everyones putting their two cents in lemme throw a bet in from someone who's been in poke rpc for some seven or so odd years ( hell some people have been around longer LMAO ).

I see a lot of posts focused on the individual experience, and thats great and not so great at the same time. It's tumblr, I get it. For the longest time peeps have been putting up with their time and energy being spent on the outside just to get online and want to relax. Let's not forget the mental illnesses that make energy and attention just impossible literally to do things lmao.

I love seeing people taking steps to take care of themselves. The early days didn't have carefully made boundaries and I saw so many peeps get burnt out making this a job more then a hobby, getting abused, a lot of nasty stuff but all that changed when the attitude changed. It's been so much better for everyone that way.

But I also observe the community in this .. or lack of in some ways. There's also been a lot of people leaving because of little interaction or in some cases being shunned from events that are supposedly open. That's a recent movement. I remember dash wide spontaneous events, the rpc sharing and evolving a plot that may have started from one blog before connecting so many others, raid battles with legendary pokemon that went out of control, etc!

Im not saying you can't have a circle of pals. I sure do! I'm saying have instances of being open for others to interact and get involved. I'm sure a lot of peeps wouldn't have even met their pals without having that oppurtunity to participate in something small that became something very big! This hobby is great because there's a community to share and be apart of and to deny or shun new players or even current ones who want to be part of something great is counterintuitive for a community at whole. Whether thats rb'ing memes, letting peeps comment on ic posts or dash posts, having starter calls, making aus that aren't connected to a plot so it's easier to open to new engagement, etc.

Course there's the argument of "its my X so I will say what or who goes into X" and you're right! There's a perfect balance of boundaries understood and being made and maybe opening the narrative to players who genuinely look interested and try to join who listen to said boundaries and participate fairly and with anticipation.

But more then anything make it easy to do so. I also remember the period when people would put cryptic rule passwords in their rules. Like...Im talking they broke them up, scattered them around all around their tiny text, glow up pages and if you get one word wrong theyd tell you try again....lol. We don't need that. Getting the nuisances of society is hard enough least of all for the peeps who have conditions that make this extra hard. I'm talking from someone who has an extreme case of social anxiety (doctors word for it, not mine LAUGHs) and ADHD. I don't communicate or participate like regular players. In fact I only gauge how well I can play with someone by casual one off ic back and forth first and build from there. Maybe by the third or fourth interaction Im brave enough to reach out via DMs. I literally have panic attacks and take a week to answer IMs that come out of the blue asking to participate which is just the regular thing to do in the rpc, but I literally can't do that. Sadly I've been reprimanded for trying to have casual back and forths throughout the years despite how apparent I make it that I have a very hard time going into IMs or asks without knowing you first.

We should make ourselves accessible! We talk about making front pages accessible for those hard of sight, google documents to make things easy, icons and all that but don't really talk about making the important communication between peeps accessible for people with handicaps too.

All in all this is my opinion and observation! The community changes every few years and it's interesting to see how it turns one way or the other. You dont have to listen to me or any of this really! Be as private or as open as ya like. This is after all a hobby and Im literally turning into the old man in the corner on his rocker literally and figurately.

also fuck fetish asks. that has never changed and I hate it.

[whumpsmith-participates]

Medwhump May 2024

Day 15 - Warmed blankets / Internal injuries

Continuation of Day 14 - Seizures / Vehicle accident

TW: minor whumpee (17), blood, vomiting, character death (implied)

@medwhumpmay

So to recap, Fetch crashed his van through no fault of his own. Which wasn't too much of a disaster, accidents can happen after all, though it would've been a little bit easier to deal with if they hadn't crashed in the middle of nowhere. Even when neither of them are too severely injured, it's a long trek to the nearest gas station, but they decided to make the hike anyway, as each step would bring them closer to salvation and it would be a better bet than to stay by the wreck and pray that someone would drive by eventually and also stop to help them.

Erick was usually pretty good with the heat, he'd grown up in Arizona after all, but even he reached his limit sometimes. He'd already been toeing the line while they were still driving, but now that they were walking next to the hot asphalt in direct sunlight with an extra piece of cloth tied around his neck to support his arm he was positively miserable.

He didn't complain about it though. Fetch was in a bad enough mood as it was, and his fuse was shorter than usual. He was probably in pain and uncomfortable too, and Erick just knew he would lash out if he started whining about how much the situation sucked.

For that same reason, he also stayed quiet when he started feeling nauseous. It was proably the heat and lack of hydration, the exhaustion from walking for hours without rest... Thankfully Fetch called for a break then, and the nausea subsided when Erick was allowed to sit down.

"How you doing?" Fetch asked, lighting a cigarette for himself.

"I'm fine, kinda," Erick said, after flopping down in the sand, "all things considered."

"When we get back to civilisation I'll get you some after-sun, you're looking a lil red," Fetch said.

"Like you're one to talk, you're covered in blood," Erick pointed out.

"It's bleeding through the gauze, isn't it?" Fetch said, wiping some blood from the side of his face, "it's fine. Nothing that can't be fixed as soon as we're out of this fucking sandbox."

"I hope someone passes us soon," Erick said.

"I hope they also stop and pull over," Fetch said, "we'll continue when I finish this cigarette, okay?"

"But you smoke so fast," Erick groaned slightly.

Fetch responded by kicking some sand at him. Erick coughed and sputtered as some got into his mouth, while Fetch continued to smoke unbothered.

"I already said, if we keep moving there's a good chance we'll regain a signal and be able to call for help," he said, "so we'll continue as soon as I finish this cigarette."

"Y-yes, sir...sorry," Erick said.

He spat out some more sand, before reluctantly getting back to his feet so he was ready to go as soon as Fetch buried his cigarette butt in the sand to extinguish it.

They didn't get very far or Erick's feet were already dragging again. Fetch didn't seem to notice, though, or he didn't care, as he simply walked ahead. He wanted to focus on just getting to their destination, and he just didn't have the energy to coddle the teen right now.

"Sir?"

"Unless you tell me you see a car coming I don't wanna hear it," Fetch said.

Erick stayed quiet after that, so it couldn't have been that important after all. Fetch proceeded to ignore him, not even realising the distance between them was beginning to grow, until he suddenly heard the distinctive sound of someone retching.

Fetch stopped walking and turned back, finding Erick several paces behind him, leaning on his knee with his good arm and dry-heaving. Fetch rolled his eyes and walked back.

"You need another break already?" he asked.

Erick slowly looked up, looking a lot paler than he did half an hour ago. He didn't get a chance to reply, retching again and coughing up a handful of blood. Fetch could only watch as the teen sank to his knees, clutching his stomach as he vomited up more blood, before collapsing onto his side, gasping for air.

"Hey, stop that!" Fetch said.

He knew it didn't make sense to say, but even he could let go of rationality if he was shocked enough. He knelt down next to the teen, trying to get him to sit back up. Erick was shaking, deteriorating fast.

"No, no, no, not like this,"he said while cradling the teen, "why the hell didn't you say anything?!"

"Y-you said... cough!"

"And since when do you listen to me?" Fetch said, "just hold on, I got you."

He pulled the boy closer, trying to ignore his pained whining and ragged breathing as he pulled out his phone to check if they had a signal yet.

Zilch.

"W-what's happening?"

Erick's voice sounded so weak. Fetch checked him over, having to pry his arms away to palpate properly. He didn't like what he found, but there was literally nothing he could do.

"You're bleeding internally," Fetch said, letting the teen get comfortable...or as comfortable as was possible in his state.

"You probably ruptured something in the crash," he continued, "you're bleeding into your abdominal cavity...the low blood pressure can't get enough oxygen to your brain, you'll pass out soon and then it won't hurt anymore."

"A-and then?"

Fetch couldn't answer.

"Don't worry," he said, shrugging off his jacket and wrapping it around the boy, "don't worry about that now, kid. I got you..."

Erick settled down a bit, probably on the brink of passing out. Fetch tried to wipe the blood off of his face a bit. That was roughly all he could do, other than stay with him and wait for the inevitable...

WOW That took long. Sorry for the wait, things just. kept. coming up. RIP Erick, you'll be good as new in the next one uwu.

Masterlist Main account

Taglist for the dynamic duo: @lavndvrr

[diagnosedhikikomori]

The End

Sebastian getting used to his new body, but the realisation that he's stuck like this, with these "people" forever takes a toll on him.

(cross-posted on Ao3 @DiagnosedHikikomori)

Characters: Sebastian and Randal

Tags: Changes to sex or gender, Character death, Self-harm, Angst

It's been months since Sebastian started living with the Ivorys, which doesn't mean a thing. He’s not gotten used to anything.

Not to Luther’s weird emotionless voice and his obsession with being human, not to Nyon’s weed addiction and Russian podcasts he would listen to in his room that could be heard from miles away, not to Nyen’s violent and murderous tendencies, not to Randal’s.. Randal. He’s not gotten used to living with these psychopaths, nor will he ever.

He lost everything, his family, his home, even his.. body, which he didn't think was possible, but everything seems to be possible here, sometimes it doesn't seem real, maybe he died and this is the afterlife. This is hell.

His body. Randal replaced his body with a doll’s body, one of his weird dolls that didn't seem to be alive like the rest, it didn't seem to giggle through the night or to follow Randal around.

“Truly a dead doll”. What's he even saying, all dolls are supposed to be dead.

Sebastian looks in the bathroom mirror. He looks tired, it makes sense, he's been held captive for so long, his mind broke.

The doll’s- his hair is long, past his shoulders, reaching his round breasts, it's curly and ginger and very soft. His face is softer and rounder too, his cheeks bigger, full of freckles, his eyes are also bigger, but empty, the spark in them once in them lost forever.

He's wearing his jester costume, though instead of pants, he’s wearing a skirt with ruffles. His height is the same, though he seems thinner, weaker, more fragile. That's because he is. Despite being a doll, human blood still runs through his veins, his human blood. That's… a relief. He thinks.

He sometimes wonders why Randal keeps dolls like these, dead, around for. Doesn't he consider the dolls friends of his? Why would he want a dead friend? It doesn't make sense, but nothing that guy does makes any sense. He's an enigma. Maybe he has a thing for corpses, the thought making Sebastian grimace.

Sebastian wandered around the house for a while, getting used to his body… his girl body a little more. He felt… feminine? Is that the term he’s looking for? He didn't feel like himself, he felt like a girl, which he’d rather not think about. Maybe his brain is getting too used to his new body, he feels crazy for even thinking that.

“Sebastian!” Someone shouted after him, judging by the high pitched nerdy voice he knew exactly who it was. He rolled his eyes. He really didn't want to talk to Randal out of all people. All he wants is to escape this place. Is it even possible anymore? Is it even worth it anymore?

“Getting used to the new body, I see! Does it fit your standards? I chose it myself! I wanted you to be a cute girl!” Randal chatted fast, clearly too full of energy for someone who actively ruins Sebastian’s life day by day.

Sebastian intertwined his hands together. “It's fine. I'm not used to being… a girl.” He whispered, for some reason ashamed. He looked away from him.

‘He’s so moe!!!’ Randal immediately thought, staring at him. ‘He’s definitely a kuudere, or maybe a tsundere!’ his nose started bleeding just by thinking that, red running down his face slowly. He tried stepping closer, trying to grab Sebastian’s wrist, though he moved away the second Randal approached him.

‘What an anomaly.’ Sebastian thought, looking at him. Looking at how his blood stains his white shirt. He's not wearing his usual clothes today, he finally changed, he even took a shower, which… Sebastian is disgusted by Randal’s lack of self care. He can go for weeks without showering.

“Ohh! Ohh!” Randal quickly wiped the blood away with his glove, “Let me comb your hair! I want to treat you like a lady!” He gave a shy grin. Which was weird because that guy could be as vulgar and as lewd as he wants without feeling a bit ashamed.

“…Sure.” Sebastian said emptily. He doesn't feel fear anymore, he doesn't feel sadness. He doesn't feel anything anymore. He's completely mind broken. He doesn't remember when he got like that, he used to be the complete opposite. It's sad. It's sad how being kidnapped can change you so much. He hasn't been tortured yet, but staying in Randal’s presence definitely feels like torture of some sort.

‘Am I exaggerating? Am I being too harsh? There's no way.’ Sebastian finally thought.

They walked into their shared bedroom and Sebastian sat down at the desk. Randal grabbed a comb and began slowly detangling his doll’s hair.

Sebastian wants to ask ‘How long, how long am I stuck here for?’ ‘When will you let me go?’ but he keeps quiet, he knows the answer is never. His empty eyes find themselves staring at the stranger in the mirror. That's not him, that body is not his, he doesn't want to be a girl.

He closed his eyes and let Randal run his hands through his hair, gently rubbing his scalp, brushing his hair slowly, letting him fully relax in his arms, which was sweet. Randal had this part of him, his gentle part, which is hard to believe for a demon as himself, but despite kidnapping Sebastian, he never once purposefully hurt him. He always wanted to be his friend for some reason. He follows Sebastian around like the plague, which can get on his nerves, sure. Doesn't he go to school? How come he doesn't have friends there, other people he can annoy.

Randal put the comb down and looked in the mirror at Sebastian. “All done!” He gave a toothy smile.

Sebastian stood up, wiped his hands that began to sweat on his skirt and turned around.

“Thanks.” He whispered.

“H-hey.. I want to tell-” Randal stood nervously in front of him, looking like he wanted to say something to him, but he was quickly interrupted by his brother shouting from the kitchen that dinner was ready.

Sebastian looked over at Randal and he could see a small hint of blush on his cheeks. So the cryptid can blush too huh, what can't he do really.

They both headed to the kitchen to see that Luther made omelets for everyone. Sebastian likes omelets, they're pretty good, he used to eat them daily when he was younger. His mom's were the best. He tries not to think about how lonely it is without his parents, or friends. How they might be wondering where he is. He wasn't in a good mental state when he got kidnapped, so chances are people think he might've killed himself.

He took a seat and began eating. He saw Randal staring at him while he ate too, which made him uncomfortable. He wanted to tell him to stop, to look away, to leave him alone, but he kept his mouth shut.

“Sebastian, are you enjoying the food?” Randal asked happily, without a care in the world.

“Yes… it's good, thank you, Luther.”

“Of course.”

Randal rolled his eyes and began eating the rest of the food.

After dinner Sebastian took a shower and changed into his pajamas, a pair of white pajamas. He wonders that if he's a girl now, is he going to get his period? He should be careful not to stain anything, just in case. He will ask for a black pair of pajamas.

Randal was playing on his switch in his coffin, already dressed for bed when Sebastian came in.

He walked up to him and stared at him, face neutral. He can be hard to read sometimes. Sometimes he's as quiet as a mouse, seemingly somewhat scared of everything around, tiptoeing around everyone and making himself invisible, not literally. Other times he's full of energy, being obnoxious to everyone around and… bleeding everywhere, seriously, he needs to go to a doctor for that.

‘God, what is it this time?’ he asked himself, standing face to face with Randal, who's nose slowly started bleeding again, not a surprise for Sebastian.

“Promise you won't leave.”

“What?”

“Promise- that you won't leave.”

“I can't promise that.” Sebastian responded simply, coldly. He wants to leave, he craves freedom like a bird in its cage, he can feel bugs under his skin, restlessness from how isolated he feels. He wants out, he wants to be himself again, not a walking mindslave.

“Why not?” Randal whispered. “You're my only friend.” but then he smiled again. “But you don't have a choice do you? You're stuck here forever.”

“...Stop.” Sebastian walked past him and laid in his coffin. His hair was frizzy, which served as a nice pillow…somewhat. He's never had long hair before, especially not up to his breasts, he kind of likes it.

After a few minutes of tossing and turning he gave up on trying to fall asleep. He has insomnia, it used to be worse when he was younger, but it doesn't affect him as much now that he's here, which is weird. Maybe there's drugs in this house’s air, he wouldn't even be surprised.

He stood up seeing as Randal was fast asleep and started to slowly make his way to the kitchen. He had to be quiet to not make any noise, seeing as the catmen are sensitive to sound.

Once arrived in the kitchen he pulled out a knife, one of the sharpest Luther has and he pulled up the sleeve to his left arm.

Seconds, minutes passed after he started cutting, once he started bleeding white he knew he finally did it. He fell to the floor.

He felt cold. But happy. Maybe death is the only way to escape this.