#but I'll have my University exam in a few days and I'm very stressed studying and getting more anxious each day

[hebimoonlightwrites]

Okay...

So...

I...

I OFFICIALLY OPEN MY INBOX AGAIN FOR REQUESTS!!

I think I'll try posting some before the day I'll take my University exam (21th April) qwq.. but I'm so sorry if I'll take requests and take more time to post them!! I promise you guys I'll be more active (but... more more active for real) after my exam (if I hopefully pass it)!! I'm preparing something special for this summer and I'm going to feed you the best I can as always!!

Stay tuned for news!!♥ In these days something special will appear on my blog!♥ In the meantime.. if you have any request, feel free to send me! But please... Even if in the past you've already seen my rules, please check them again before requesting, sweethearts!! I changed something so.. qwq♥

Anyway.. Wish me good luck for this damn exam, I really can't wait to pass it so I'll be free to dedicate myself to Tumblr♥ qwq

Stay hydrated and keep caring about yourselves!! I love you all!

Also thank you again for 200 followers and 100+ notes!!

[bsdndprplplld]

29 X 2022

another exhausting week finally over! fortunately I have two extra weekend days, so I can rest and do my homework without stressing over it

I found another promising youtube channel about learning. and "insanely difficult subjects" sounds about right when it comes to everything that's happening in math

I wish there was more content about learning math specifically. the tips I see, however good and useful for studying memory-based stuff such as biology or history, don't seem to work for math

for now my best method is to study the theory from the textbook, trying to prove everything on my own or if that fails, working through the proofs, coming up with examples of objects and asking (possibly dumb) questions that I then try to answer. afterwards I proceed to solving exercises

recently I've been studying mainly commutative algebra, in particular the localization

we didn't spend much time discussing local rings so I had to find some useful properties on my own. the whole idea of "local properties" is an interesting one and I definitely want to read more about it

I find it to be much more elegant to study localization through its universal property and exact sequences rather than through calculation on elements. it's funny how you can cheat so many of our homework problems by knowing basics of category theory and a little bit of homological algebra

I wonder if it's possible to learn math using mind maps, never actually tried. here is my attempt at doing that for one of the subjects in complex analysis:

other than studying I had to prepare a presentation for one of my courses

the topics were given to us by the professor so I thought it would be boring and technical, but I got lucky to discuss the possible generalizations of the Jordan theorem

now I'm gonna talk about something more personal

this week has been difficult because my brain doesn't enjoy existing. some days I had so many meltdowns and shutdowns, I could barely think and speak, let alone study difficult subjects in math. it's really disappointing, as I thought it got better after introducing new medication, but apparently I still can't handle time pressure and I break very easily when emotions become overwhelming (which they frequently do). one of the most discouraging parts of a neurodivergent brain is that you can't always say "alright then I'll just work harder" when you see that the situation requires it. you can't, because your brain has a certain threshold of "how much can you take before you snap" and no tips for studying when you're tired can change that. if you try, you'll just have a meltdown and your day is over, the rest of it must be spent regaining your strength and all you can do is hoping that tomorrow will be better

I wish I could always simply enjoy math and see it as an escape route from a confusing world of human interaction and unpredictable emotions, but whenever there is a deadline or grading criteria, I can hardly enjoy it anymore. I know that this is not what it's always gonna be, the further I go the less deadlines and exams we have, so I must wait and one day it might be okey

since june I've been trying to discuss accommodations regarding adhd and autism with my university but the process takes forever and I'm slowly losing hope that I will ever have it easier

nonetheless, I'm willing to do everything to achieve the goal of spending my days alone working on developing some new theory. just a few more years and I might start living the dream

[pyropsychiccollector]

Makoto: You don't know true pain. (人◕ω◕)*** All these... these... squabbling girls. Fighting over the last shreds of my sanity. (人◕ω◕)***

Nagisa: ...

Nagisa: n___n;;;;;;;;;; Nope. I wouldn't know what you're going through. You have it... so hard... n___n;;;;;;;;;;

Makoto: Yes. You are more understanding than most, Nagisa-kun. It's been getting worse and worse these past few years. All these new girls showing up. New shenanigans to deal with. And I'm expected to defuse the conflicts when they come up, keep everything civilized... It's... It's... It's becoming too much, Nagisa-kun. I can't take it!!! (人◕ω◕)*** I mean, 100 girls?! When will they be satisfied?!?!?!

Nagisa: W-Well... I know that's just one gig, though... With that... Vergil guy? I mean, don't you have other contracts that are less... stressful? n___n;;;;;;;;;;;;

Makoto: Oh, sure!!! Remind me of my other obligations!!! Pyro saddles me with five or six girls normally... But even he is open to other "ships". Pyro does favors for Vergil all the time. It never ends!!! (人◕ω◕)*** Even 5-6 is a lot of women to satisfy, don't you understand?!?!

Nagisa: ...

Nagisa: n___n;;;;;;;;;;;; Wh-Why would I know what it's like to juggle several women...? Th-That's crazy...

Makoto: Yes!!!!!!!!! Crazy is what it is!!!!!!!!! I need a break. (人◕ω◕)*** This is where you come in, Nagisa-kun. I had Miu do something useful for once, and create a device that will allow me - us - to swap identities for a week.

Nagisa: ... Identities...? .___. Makoto-san, I don't feel comfortable-

Makoto: (人◕ω◕)*** Just trust me, damnit...!!! It doesn't do anything to our bodies. Like, swap our minds or whatever. ... That's way too obvious. Some of my... girlfriends... would know right away. (人◕ω◕)***

Nagisa: ... *sighs* So what does it... do? >_<

Makoto: I didn't bother listening to Miu's convoluted science-y explanation. But basically it showers us in particles that only we can see. To everyone else, you'll be "Makoto Naegi". And I'll be "Nagisa Shiota". (人◕ω◕) The particles last for a week, and then we go back to our... normal lives. Nobody will know about the swap, the particles are flawless~! \ (人◕ω◕) /

Nagisa: ... ;;;>____> Makoto-san, while this sounds thought out, I'm not sure you've considered that your... girls... might come onto me. And vice-versa.

Makoto: (๑╹ω╹๑ ) I have thought about such an inevitability. The nice thing is that this week is studying for exams at Hope's Peak, which means that I've put in the usual paperwork for "no touching until exams are over". The girls don't like it when I put my foot down like that... however, they know that I care a lot about following their dreams, and they won't risk the chance to stay at Hope's Peak to goof off with me. (๑╹ω╹๑ )*** I mean, some members of my... harem... have gone so far as to make clauses in that paperwork that if anyone breaches it, and they get expelled from Hope's Peak, they won't get to continue a relationship with me. It's... very airtight. (๑╹ω╹๑ )***

Nagisa: ... Okay, fine, but Kunugigaoka isn't in the middle of exams right now... I don't think you're ready for my "usual daily life". ;;;>_____> You should probably swap with someone like... like Hajime-san...

Makoto: No!!!!!!!!!!! (๑╹ω╹๑ )*** *coughs* I mean. Swapping with Hajime would be no point. I'd still be at Hope's Peak. And I'm trying to get a break. You understand. (๑╹ω╹๑ )***

Nagisa: I r-really don't.... n___n;;;;;;;;; B-But if you're really insistent this is the only way...

Makoto: It is. (๑╹ω╹๑ )************* No one will think to look for me in another universe. It's. Perfect. \ (๑╹ω╹๑ ) /

Nagisa: ... I hope you don't regret this... n___n;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

~*~

Makoto: Good, good... That fool Nagisa agreed to switch, just as planned. He thinks the particles will just wear off, but in truth...? They don't wear off unless I say they can wear off. (๑╹ω╹๑ )*** I'm never going back. Never. Now... how does Nagisa usually start his days...?

Makoto: (๑╹ω╹๑ ) His mom seems nice. Nagisa-san was surely overexaggerating. He's just jealous my life is more hellish. I'll be fine.

Hiromi: Oh, Nagisa, sweetie~ I picked up a new dress that would just look adorable on you. Let's try it on before you go to school. (๑╹ω╹๑ )

Makoto: ... D... Dress? >_< Um... Mom... I'm... I'm a boy...?

Makoto: Q_______Q Wh-What is.... I can't... oh god, I'm gonna die....! *five minutes later, after getting his head bashed into the table for disobeying Hiromi, and forced into the dress...* ...

Hiromi: n.n I was spot on~ You look amazing~!

Makoto: ... Why does it feel like this was made for my height...? ._____. *thinks back to Nagisa* .... Oh yeah. We were about the same height, weren't we... Damn. @_____@*

Hiromi: Of course it was made for your height, sweetie. (๑╹ω╹๑ ) You should try wearing that, today.

Makoto: *scared to bring this up, given he's still got a bruised forehead* Q______Q D-Doesn't Kunugigaoka h-have a dress code, m-mom...?

Hiromi: ... Oh yeah. Well, it'll be here when you get home tonight. :3

Makoto: ................. *thinking about ways to run away from home without getting the cops or this crazy bitch after him* O-O-Okay, mom... n___n;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

~*~

Nagisa: Makoto-san said exams are coming up, but he never said what to study... .______. *a tad underwhelmed by the walk from the dorms to the main campus; he's used to walking up and down a mountain* Well, the school's nice enough... I mean, Makoto-san was running away from the girls, apparently, but still...

Mukuro: *drops down to his side from a nearby tree* >_< Makoto-kun. Was one of the girls breaching the contract?

Nagisa: *perceived Mukuro up in the tree and just didn't say anything because he figured it was a part of Makoto's daily life* H-Huh...? Oh, um... no... Just thinking out loud. Sorry, Miss. n___n;;;;;;;;;;

Mukuro: *squints at "Makoto"* ... I usually surprise you more when I jump out like that... Are you sure you're alright?

Nagisa: **Oh, duh! Makoto-san doesn't have assassin training! Gah. I'm all over the place today...** n___n;;;;;;;; I-I'm fine, M-Miss. J-Just a lot on my mind...

Mukuro: ...

Nagisa: ...

Mukuro:...

Nagisa: ...

Mukuro: >_< I'm gonna take you to see Mikan, just in case.

Nagisa: Q____Q **Crap, crap, crap...! M-Makoto-san said these particle things would fool everyone, but still...! What if he's wrong?!** I, uh.... don't have the time, Miss...! I-I've gotta go!!! *barely pulls away from Mukuro moving to grab him, and he darts off without a destination in mind*

Mukuro: *chasing after him easily enough, but can tell Makoto's a lot faster than she remembered* >_<*** Makoto-kun, just come with me!! I promise Mikan-chan won't give you injections again!!

Nagisa: *isn't even listening as he runs into the small forests around/on campus and puts his parkour skills to good work* Q______Q This chick isn't Koro-sensei, and I can still tell she's good...! I'm almost curious if Mister Karasuma would be able to keep up with her...?! *runs over to a cliff without thinking, catches himself at the edge at the last minute and swerves a hard right*

Mukuro: >_<*** Makoto-ku...! *follows him to the edge of the cliff, but wasn't anticipating that hard right; she falls off into the nearby river*

Makoto: *just keeps running without looking back, knowing not to pity that girl* Q______Q

Mukuro: *coughs up water* ... Makoto-kun's been working out. >_<*** I'm gonna need backup on this one, apparently... *pulls out waterproof-cased phone and makes a call to Peko and Maki*

~*~

Makoto: *pant* *pant* >_<*** Why is their school all the way up on the mountain...? There's a perfectly good campus down there...! *still made it to the top...barely* If Aoi, Sakura, and Gozu-sensei weren't always hounding me about physical fitness, this walk would've killed me...! @____@***

Sugino: You okay, Nagisa? *lightly tossing a baseball into his gloved hand, having casually made the same trek* Ya look a little winded....

Makoto: H-Huh? @______@*** Oh. Um. Yeah. Totally fine. That walk's gonna be the toughest thing I have to do today, so...

Sugino: *squints at "Nagisa"* n___n That's funny. Mister Karasuma's unavailable to teach PE today, so we're stuck with Koro-sensei. Y'know how that worked out, before.

Makoto: Koro...sensei...? >_< Well, he can't be that bad. I've juggled 100 women. That's bad. >_______>

Sugino: *guffaws* 100 women.... Ooh, boy. Don't let Kayano-chan hear you say that~ Well, I'll see you inside, buddy! *walks on ahead*

Makoto: ... *stares after the boy with a twitchy eye* Why do I get the feeling I'm not gonna like this?

Makoto: ... ._________. This is Koro-sensei...? What... What is.... I don't even.... *managed to get to Nagisa's usual desk and sit down, but now he's mumbling incoherently*

Rio: *cocks head* What's up with Nagisa today? He's acting like it's his first day all over again.

Sugino: Beats me. He'd better get his head in the game soon, though! Karma sees him like this, he's in for Hell.

Rio: ... Why?

Sugino: Well, uh.... He mumbled something about juggling 100 women and that nothing would stack up to that. ;;;;;>_____> *he knows he just ratted "Nagisa" out, but better that Rio is on "Nagisa" than on him*

Rio: (๑╹ω╹๑ ) Ohoho~...? 100 women, eh... And Kayano-chan thought I was dreaming too big when I said Nagisa could handle more~!

Kaede: What do you mean 100 women?!?!?! Are you poisoning his mind again, Rio?!?!?!

Rio: (๑╹ω╹๑ ) The heart wants what the heart wants, Kayano-chan~

Kaede: What part of no big boobs do you not understand?!?!?!?!?!

Rio: I dunno. Ask Nagisa-kun. (๑╹ω╹๑ )(๑╹ω╹๑ )(๑╹ω╹๑ )

Makoto: *brain is glitching out from Kaede having Sayaka's voice, and Rio from having Natsumi's voice. ... Not to mention Koro-sensei is still writing stuff up on the board at Mach 20* Q_______Q It'll all be worth it... It'll all be worth it... It'll all be worth it..... *starts rocking back and forth*

~*~

*one week later*

Makoto: (๑╹ω╹๑ )*** I changed my mind. I want my life back now.

Nagisa: Eh? But hasn't it been a week...? So won't the particles wear off, anyway? ._________.

Makoto: *ignores that* (๑╹ω╹๑ )*** You didn't tell me you were a psychopath, Nagisa-kun. Training to kill your.... "teacher". Yes. (๑╹ω╹๑ )*** That guy's way more of a pervert than certain other people make me out to be. I am normal. NORMAL!!!!!!!!! (๑╹ω╹๑ )***

Nagisa: I did try to warn you... n___n;;;;;;;;; Despite your eccentric friends, you aren't really... the training sort....

Makoto: (๑╹ω╹๑ )********* You should have tried to convince me harder!!! Your mom and your "best friend" treat you like a Barbie doll. Your "teacher" is too fast to comprehend. Your classmates are a barrel of monkeys. Those "main campus" pricks can go play in traffic. (๑╹ω╹๑ )*** I am never going back. Never.

Nagisa: n___n;;;;;;;;;;;;; Th-That's fine, Makoto-san... Um, I should probably warn you-

Makoto: NO!!!!!!!! I am going to sit in my room for a while and think about how normal my world is. (๑╹ω╹๑ )********* You go away now.

Nagisa: B-But....

Makoto: You go away now!!!!!!!!! *forces Nagisa back through the portal* (╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ) *sighs as he plops down in his dorm room's office chair* Peace... quiet... solitude....

Mukuro: *climbs in through the window* Ready for training, Makoto-kun? *tilts head*

Makoto: Training?! (╬ಠ益ಠ) I thought I told you I wasn't built for that...?!

Mukuro: ... *tilts head to the other side* But... You've been training with us this week. You were doing pretty good, too.

Makoto: ...

Peko: *can be heard from outside the window* Don't put yourself down, Makoto-kun. We know you can take it now.

Maki: *huffs* Just get out here already, idiot.

Makoto: (╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ)(╬ಠ益ಠ) Nagisa...!

[theophagie]

Schoolgirl diary time but. lol. lmao even. Had a lil breakdown today. I'm not going to waste my time and attempt to take this exam tomorrow, I really tried my best to concentrate during these past few days that I felt just a little better but the situation is absolutely tragic. I think it's a little bit funny that despite everything I still have enough pride to think "yeah, there's no point in embarrassing myself in front of others just to try it out". Sad and miserable and suicidal but God Forbid we let out pride be wounded

I really wish that I could blame it all just on university (which is a hellish experience and an hellish environment) and say that my condition is all born out of stress and anxiety, I really do. This is so selfish and insensitive of me but I'm so envious of those people whose mental health problems are "just" tied to academic in/success and stuff, truly. But I'm not, so here I am, dealing year by year with this progressively worsening bullshit. I always have all the time in the world to study, but I often don't take advantage of that because half the time I feel too bad to concentrate, and the other I have to try so hard to concentrate that I end up not doing it then either. -_-. It's easier to manage and make do with certain exams, but with others it's absolute hell, and it's the reason why I struggle so much to find a graduation date. I don't have that many exams left to take, but I need consistency, which I can't reach no matter how much I try... I want to hope that my thesis won't be such a sour subject as well since it's something I was very passionate and excited about (though if you were to ask me now if I feel anything about it... :/ ), but I haven't managed to start looking for sources yet, and the deadline the professor gave me is approaching too... I just so numb and empty. Some days absolutely pass me by, I'll just blink and realise that I've wasted so much time staring at nothing, doing nothing, thinking about nothing. And I want to change, I want it so bad. So often I think to myself "tomorrow I'll go on a run, just to do something", "today I'm definitely going to study that whole chapter", and then I don't, not even if I'm not feeling as bad. I don't even know why, I just don't. And the Situation™ at home truly does not help, but that's a whooole other can of worms and I just. sigh. I personally don't generally feel comfortable with self diagnosis, but honestly without getting into Other Signs thank god that I'm definitely somewhere on the autism spectrum because at least that means that the right stimuli get me to feel things even if only a little even when the feel-like-shit carousel starts lol. "Life sucks, I want to die and I think about it every other day... but at least we have special interests ❤️" akskdkcoggj literally this (and unironically. thank god for them because they're genuinely of help)

This has to be what being stuck in one of Dante's circles of hell has to be like but. There's another exam I'm supposed to take on the 25th, and I really hope that I'll manage to get myself out of this slump and at least get through with that. Loser ass idiot -_-

[webraciszekbastion]

Welcome Back

Hi everyone ! It's my ! Koko.

First of all, I want to send my sincerest and very very very very belated wishes to women on Women's Day. March 8 was also a special day for me because it was my birthday, and I am already 23 years old. (I feel old…)

As a resolution for myself on this birthday, I want to start writing again. I miss it, besides, I really miss this place.

Well... Yes, namely I am returning but with small steps. As you can see, I have revoked the ability to make requests to me. I have accumulated some requests and some for a long time. I really remember them and promise to do them. To begin with, I want to focus on writing outstanding requests. When I get back on track, I will probably rewrite the masterlist and restore the ability to send requests. So, I ask you to be a little more patient. I am slowly getting used to writing again and fighting my creative block.

Why have I been away for so long? Well, I would say studies and practical classes, however…. To be honest, I neglected my health a lot. During the last session of exams I was accompanied by a lot of stress, so I isolated myself from my friends and spent most of my time studying. Because of this, I neglected my mental health and had no desire or energy for anything for a long time. I neglected myself terribly and through bad habits, lack of exercise, I ended up in the hospital. It gave me motivation to take better care of myself. I can say that I am slowly embracing all the things, related to studies and work, also my well-being, is already doing better. Now I'm learning to write again, which is sometimes not easy, as I temporarily struggle with creative block and look for inspiration for new ideas. However, for my birthday, I decided to get back to what I love to do. Also my dear friends. Once again, I ask for your patience. I have not forgotten your requests.

Of course, the current formats, will continue to be present, but I would like to diversify this blog. There are a few things I'd like to do, beyond the further rows I'm doing such as:

First of all, I would like to expand my work with new versions of fan-made Danganronpa and new fandoms. Currently I was thinking about Disventure Camp, Hazbin Hotel and Helluvaboss, Galactik Football but everything in its own time.

Rankings - Through the rankings, I would like to present a bit of my point of view on characters, storylines, themes and the like.

Ship Discussions - In this overview, I'd like to address, one of the fandom's more beloved thing, that is, about ships. Ships with a particular character will be discussed, and I will try, to discuss completely frankly and without wrapping my head around it.

More headcanons - I have a large number of spontaneous ideas that are not suitable for own books. It would be nice to finally put them to use.

PS.

Even less official news. The idea for two short stories has been on my mind for some time. The first book would be a harem in the Disventure Camp universe. I have a friend with whom we are big fans of Disventure Camp, and we once discussed the fact that there isn't much "x-reader" fan fiction from that production. Generally, it's supposed to be a harem. It's not exactly my fairy tale, but somehow I let myself be persuaded and when I have a free moment I create an outline for this project.

The second idea is also a loose short story from the Hazbin Hotel universe. The plot of the series is not so important in what I write. I want to focus more on my OC's relationships with other characters. This project is already some time old, and it was only somewhere in the last few weeks that I started to plan it out more thoroughly. I hope something will come out of it.

So that's all from my side for the moment. I wish you a nice day/afternoon/evening/night. And I'll see you again, hopefully soon.

Over and out.

[ariespellz]

wait how does that work? does that mean you'll only have a few days of vacation? sorry my english isn't englishing rn😭

same, i usually don't follow any sports but everyone's talking about it so 🤷‍♀️ i wish you luck with maths! i don't do much of that anymore but i remember how painful it was 😭 no matter how much i studied for some reason i could never get a good score...anyways i'm very sure you won't turn out like me! i have faith in you! 😭

yeah, this is the longest term,,,which is good but also kinda bad. my mock exams start next term i believe, and then the term after is basically full of actual exams, which im not looking forward to ://

anyways, i hope you do really well in your exams!! and rest when you can! <33

no u actually make sense!! the educational stuff is going nuts lately in spain :/ they're all dicks tbh but oh well we have to suck it up,,

we basically start vacation "officially" the 24th and we'll proba be back by the 5th?? pulling my hair out rn . these btches i swear.

on the bright side tho!!! next year im choosing my bachiller (we have 6 years primary, 4 secondary, and then 2 years in something called "bachillerato" in which we make some subjects related with what we want to study. then we have an exam called ebau (various, depending on the subjects we choose), and with that grade we can apply to a certain amount of universities. does that make sense?? we have other options aside from uni too but thats too much info) and i'll have no more maths, just humanities (languages, history, and other nerdy shit i enjoy lmao).

the main thing with our education styles is that is very .. closed off??? like. the US for reference is HELL. its soooo expensive qnd the level is kinda wonky? defo lower than here. HOWEVER , even then, the masters degree options and branches in and after high school are way more open than here. we have like a shit ton of careers and you have to study the full 4-5 years (or drop out) and then go for another one if you want to do something slightly different. okay maybe not really but idk i feel like im rambling a lot. im a bit stressed out about school stuff.

on another not: i relate to the math thing SO. MUCH!!! im quick w stuff like multiplications fractions etc etc but the moment functions come out.. lord have mercy. my brain stops braining. so yeah good thing my teacher knows i bother w that stuff (hes cool at least:')) physics had me crying last year).

exams are so stressful!!! i feel u hun :( i cant say i know exactly what ur going through but u are very very smart and great! u WILL pull this off evie i believe in you<33

[maplecornia]

Heya Maple! It's been almost two days since I sent an ask, I'm so sorry for that. It's just that these exams are really stressing me out. I promise you'll see me more often once these exams are over :)

Bestie same here I can't wait to talk to you as moots OMG

Also I'm not always this confident, it's just that these exams are really important and I'm working very hard for them which caused me to be 100% sure of my answer, plus later that evening a news paper article revealed the answer key and fortunately all answers were correct lmao.

BESTIE EVEN THO I'M EXCITED FOR THE FIC PLEASE DON'T STRESS YOURSELF!! The loyal audience can and will wait for you so don't worry, ik the finished fic is gonna be worth the wait.

PLS NI-KI MOST PROBABLY IS TALLER THAN SOOBIN. I mean look at the difference b/w him and Hee now he's growing taller day by day.

I completely agree with you, it's really difficult to manage such relationships and it's scary. Sometimes you have to part ways unwillingly :( But the risk is a part of the relationship itself

Do you believe in astrology? I'm do believe in it but not to an extent that I'll think it can determine my life. The things I believe in are like personality traits on basis of zodiac or tarot readings. They have always been accurate for me and are kinda fun. Once I came across this tarot reading about future spouse and took it out of curiosity. I got wheel of fortune and the description was like "someone who's born rich or owns a family business which causes them to travel a lot". I laughed so hard when I read that but a few days later I shut about it cuz I took two more tarot readings (from different people) and the result was same. Yep that's what stopped me from joking around about astrology lmao

Anyways, have a good day Maple! I apologize in advance if you don't hear from me frequently, I'll still try my best to drop an ask time to time <3

Your secret santa, ☕

Omg hi and welcome back!

It's alright that you haven't been here in a while, I hope that exams are going well and your taking care of yourself! I know these days can be stressful with exams and everything so I completely understand.

ITLL BE SO FUN WHEN I CAN FINALLY ADD YOU TO MY MOOTS PAGE ISTG

But I'm glad that you're working very hard for your exams I'm sure that it must be tough. But that's some SUPREME studying if you got all those answers correct. LMFAO

ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT 🤧 it's the first idol x male!oc fic I've ever started working on and it took a lot for me to start writing it. It means a lot to me so I hope I can release it soon and bless peoples eyes with the cute adorable FLUFF OVERLOAD.

Actually FUN FACT I at first wasn't sure about doing other pairings except female!oc/reader or ?!oc/reader because I'm not part of the LGBTQ+ community but when I realized that love is love I didn't know what I was holding back from before. I mean love is a universal construct anyone can understand it shouldn't matter the person you experience with.

So now I'm more confident in doing other pairings and sometimes those other pairings are some of my best work ngl.

ANYWAYS IM GLAD YOUR LOOKING FORWARD TO IT when I finally know your identity I'll add you to the taglist ;)

AND YEAH 😭 RIP SOOBIN and that's just scary considering how tall soobin is already 😰

I agree wholeheartedly with that, struggles happen in relationships it's just part of it. But I think if you live the other and are willing to commit yourself to the other enough then it's worth it in the end. But ofc, that's me and my hopeless romanticism 😀

I believe in astrology to a certain extent, and I do think that tarot cards are true to an extent as well. I think that there are multiple paths for our future tho and tarot cards only read the current path you're on based on the way you feel at that moment. However emotions and decisions change so I think tarot cards can be inaccurate if those type of things change. Nothing is set in stone in my opinion and we can change our fate based on our own choices.

However it is fun reading horoscopes and talking about our personalities and stuff LMAO.

I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY AS WELL! Good luck on your exams ;)

[honeyoongiah]

Most beautiful coincidence

Pairings: Yoongi x Elly (reader)

Genre: Bookworm! Yoongi AU, fluff

Words: 2.9k

Warnings: none!

Summary: Yoongi spent most of his time in the universities library with his nose in some books to escape from reality. At least until Elly decided to sit on the other side of the shelf and showed him that love stories don't just exist in books.

A/N: another Oneshot that has a special place in my heart. I hope you'll feel the warmth that I felt during the writing process.

It was a surprisingly hot november day as Elly walked down the hallways of her college. Packed with countless books, she made her way to the library to learn how she always did for exams.

The room was cold because the air conditioner tried its best to fight the heat, so she quickly started to shiver in her top and cursed the long summer.

"Isn't it supposed to be a little colder outside?", she mumbled to herself while walking through the library searching for that one book she knew she'd need. Everyone was silent so she tried to be as well, but apparently someone on the other side of the shelf noticed her.

"Global warming."

It was the voice of a boy, but she couldn't see him through the books. He sounded a little annoyed but maybe that was just his normal tone, she wouldn't know.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't want to disturb you.", she said in worry. Most of the people here got really mad for being interrupted and she understood. This was a place of silence to study, but she couldn't control her mumbling sometimes.

The voice buzzed something that sounded like "it's okay" and Elly started to relax again. Just as she looked for a table to sit on, she realized that she was a little too late with that. Every single chair was already taken and she ran her fingers through her hair.

What should she do now?

Well, obviously there were people sitting on the ground in between the shelfs just as this mysterious boy she couldn't see. "Hey uhm, sorry for bothering you again but would you mind if I sit here? The library is full."

"No.", he answered shortly before there was silence again. "Thank you.", Elly answered and smiled friendly until she realized he wouldn't see it.

She had to admit it was somehow calming to know that there was someone right next to her, even if they weren't talking and didn't even know each other.

Sitting down and taking some notes, she didn't realize how time flew by.

"Ohh god I gotta go or I'll miss my lecture.", she talked to herself again and got up, packing her things in a rush.

"Don't run with books in your hand, though. It'll be dangerous for them... and for you too.", the boy answered again, sounding a little amused by his own comment.

"I won't be a threat to the books, I promise. I don't know if I can say the same about me, though.", Elly chuckled. She didn't feel right to just go without saying anything. "So uhm... Goodbye."

"Bye."

With that said she began to rush, but without running, so she wouldn't miss informations that were relevant to her exam.

____

Just a day went by and she had to visit the library again. Without really thinking about it she ended up in the same spot she was yesterday. It had something calming not to sit together with all that stressed and desperate students.

Elly sat down again and leaned her back against the shelf made of wood. She was curious now. Was she alone, or did he happen to be here too?

"Mysterious boy from yesterday? Are you here?"

First there was silence and she already thought that he wasn't here, until she heard a dark chuckle from the other side. "Mysterious boy, huh."

"Oh hello, you're actually here again."

"Well, actually this is my favorite spot since I first entered this college. So I'm rather surprised of you being here again.", he explained and Ellys eyes grew big. "Oh I didn't intend to steal it from you, I'm sorry."

"You didn't. You're on the other side of the shelf."

"Well that's true."

The silence broke over them again, although she began to like talking to him. It had something carefree and noncommittal. So unlike what she felt at the university. He cleared his throat and seemed to be focussed again to what Elly couldn't see from here. Again many minutes passed before he was the one breaking the silence for the first time. "Are you doing well? The subject should be particularly difficult this semester."

Elly sighed and when he heard that, he immediately laughed. "Okay, I have my answer."

"No joke, it's terrible. But I can do it. Thanks for asking."

Suddenly she felt an object pressed against her back, but without hurting her. Amazed, she looked at the book the boy had handed her through the shelf. His hand was thin, his fingers long and also narrow and defined by bones and veins. "Here, that helped me a lot last year."

Fleetingly, she flipped through it and realized immediately how useful it would be for her. "Oh my god, thank you, that will help!"

"My pleasure."

"By the way, my name is Elly. You said the book really helped you last year, so you're a year above me?" For a few seconds she had to wait for an answer and thought he hadn't heard her or didn't want to talk, but then she heard him. "My name is Min Yoongi and yes, I am one year ahead of you."

Elly gave a low ah and nodded her head. "I have never heard of you, although I know so many students here." A few students tried to pass her, but with so many books in the way it was a lot harder. Elly looked at them with an apologetic look. "That doesn't surprise me. I don't even think my lecturer knows that I exist. At least they can't connect my name with a face. I don't go to many lectures, because I rather teach everything myself and spend my time here."

"It's impressive that you can teach yourself.", she marveled, shuddering just at the thought of trying. Sure, she was good at learning on her own but it helped immensely if someone explained it to her. "I just don't like being around People much, I prefer the company of books of all kinds."

"You just weren't around the right People then, Yoongi.", she spoke her thoughts out loud and hoped she didn't cross a line. "You're probably right but I don't even try anymore."

"That's sad though. You might miss someone very special."

The usual silence greeted them again as Yoongi thought about her words.

He really didn't have much emotional connections since he was young, he early began to bury his nose in books he found interesting. The genre didn't really matter to him as long as it had a happy ending.

Yoongi knew that sounded cheesy but he just didn't feel right when stories ended with heartbreak or other pain. He liked to feel that comfortable warmth of satisfaction when everything turned out to be okay.

It was so far from reality, maybe that was what kept him reading all day. He found the real world terrible, not knowing if there will be a happy end for anyone and not being able to skip through the bad parts if he'd like to.

Books never hurt your feelings or leave you behind.

Books were so much more comforting than dealing with his actual life and the people around him. It was definitely way more fun.

"I have to go now.", he told her and got up from the ground. Elly heard the rustling noises next to her and tried to see him through the mass of books next to her, but besides his black pants she didn't see much.

"Okay Yoongi. I hope we'll talk tomorrow?", she asked casually which made him froze in his movements. Why would she want to talk to him again? "Sure. I'll be here.", he answered though, a light smile gracing his face.

_____

A few weeks passed by and Elly couldn't imagine not being in the library every day anymore. She started talking to Yoongi in her free time on the same spot as the day before. And they talked about everything.

The topic didn't really matter, they always managed to find something to say. Either they discussed something and shared their opinions, which were very often the same, or they opened up about personal issues and feelings.

He opened up about his past and why he became so distant, the whole issue with his parents and how they never understood him the way he needed.

Yoongi never did that before. But it felt right to finally do and when he heard Elly saying that this wasn't his fault he knew that he needed to hear that at least once.

Elly talked about her past broken friendships and relationships who hurt her deeply and made her insecure. She told him that she often felt she wasn't enough and he reassured that this feeling wasn't valid.

To him she was enough.

He held her hand through the shelf when he heard her snuffling and brushed his thumb over her skin to calm her a little.

Sometimes they just enjoyed knowing the other one was right beside them when they had tough days or were feeling like a more silent day. They didn't need to talk.

Slowly they became really close although they still didn't know how the other one looked like. It didn't matter to them, they found it funny and special.

Even her grades got better because he always helped her when she needed someone to explain it again. He was calm, patient and didn't set her under any pressure. She felt comfortable telling him when she had a problem.

"Hey Yoongs, I'm back.", she greeted him and sat down on her favorite place in this university. Maybe even in general. "Hey Elly, I've missed you."

"I missed you too. How was your day?", she asked and placed her hand in the shelf which he immediately took into his. That was a new habit that neither of them knew how it began but they enjoyed it.

"It was fine. I took a look on the new curriculum for my semester and learned a few things in advance. Then I started a new book and read it until you came. What about you?"

"You're incredible. How do you teach yourself the whole fucking curriculum? I'll never understand. Can I have your brain please?", she grumbled but still with admiration for him. "You're incredibly intelligent Elly. Don't put yourself down so much." - "T-thank you."

He squeezed her hand and chuckled when he noticed that she was flustered. "It's the truth. I really think you are amazing in any way possible but you need to see it yourself."

"You're so kind. So supportive and caring. I think you are amazing too Yoongi.", she answered while smiling and stared out of the window.

"Would you mind coming over to the other side and sit next to me?", Yoongi asked and took her by surprise. It wasn't that she didn't want to, but that somehow made her nervous. "How come so suddenly?"

"I don't know... I just feel like it. You don't have to though."

"N-no I want to! Wait I'll come.", she quickly said and let go of him to stand up, which made her feel incomplete for a moment. With these words Yoongi felt nervous now too.

He would look the person who knows him best now, with his good sides but all his flaws too, in the eyes for the first time.

Elly was thinking about the same things too. It was somehow scary, but in a good way. She was curious how he looked like, but she was insecure about showing herself. Will he think I'm pretty? Why does that matter to me?

Slowly, but not too slowly for Yoongi to notice how unsure she was, she walked around the shelf that separated them for the past months now and immediately met two dark brown eyes looking at her.

She smiled shyly and sat down next to him.

Yoongi was too overwhelmed to really hide his staring. He admired every inch of her, trying to imprint the details of her face in his mind. She truly was beautiful to him.

He gently stroked a wisp of hair behind her ear and made her blush. Without him noticing she was admiring him too. His blonde hair she'd really like to touch, his brown eyes which sent out warmth and looked so vulnerable and his soft looking red lips.

"So... uhm what are you reading at the moment?", she tried to break the tension between the two, even though it felt good having his eyes on her. "Oh, I'm reading a novel about- wait do you really want to know?" - "You like the book don't you? So yes I do want to know."

His lips parted while he thought about where to start. He took the book in his hands and let his fingertips run over the cover. "Well, it's about a young detective who tries to solve a murder in the city he lives in, near his own home. He consults a lot of people and there is where he meets this woman for the first time."

Elly listened to him with honest interest and Yoongi didn't feel so good in years. He wasn't used to people caring about what he was reading, but she did. "He starts to develop feelings, but she's the prime suspect in his case. Although he really wants to believe her that she is innocent, everything speaks against her. So he's in a big discrepance."

While he continues talking about how they try to find the real murderer and that Yoongi still isn't sure if she is innocent but hopes for it because he wants a happy end, Elly noticed the sparkle in his eyes.

She could see how comfortable and happy he was feeling right now and she couldn't suppress a loving smile. "And then he- wait why are you smiling?", he interrupted himself and looked at her confused.

"You just look so happy. It makes me smile.", she blurred out and felt shy about it right away. "I uhm... yes I am. I enjoy spending time with you."

Elly didn't know how much time passed while she looked into his eyes, she could drown in them. Only his voice brought her back. "Would you like to spend time with me outside of this library?"

"Y-yes! Of course. I know a better library only 20 minutes away from here.", she teased him and he laughed. It took every nervousness away. "I'm serious Elly. I don't know much about these things, but I know that I want to spend more time with you. Would you like to go eat something after lecture today?"

He found her so cute with red cheeks, it suited her overall cuteness he thought. "Yes Yoongi, I'd love to."

Her words made him weak, he never experienced something like this before. Yoongi only read about it in books.

Was it really his turn this time? Is it possible that he could be as happy as the characters in his books? Was he really blessed to experience something like that too?

These thoughts didn't leave him when they both left the university for today. Yoongi suggested to go to one of her favorite restaurants if she has one, since he didn't really go out much.

Quickly they figured they didn't want to sit inside though, but just get something and go to a place Yoongi told her about a few times. It was a single bench in the middle of nowhere but with a beautiful view of the city.

"You said you like reading here if you're not in the library, right?", Elly asked when in between her bites. "Yes. It's so calming and silent here. It's my special place."

Elly put her box down and parted her lips, just like she wanted to say something, but remained silent. "What did you want to say?", Yoongi asked because of course he noticed. He looked only at her, even though his favorite view was right in front of him.

"It's nothing. I'm embarrassed to say it.", she admitted and buried her face in her hands. Yoongi was sure he never saw something so pure. "It's okay, you don't have to be ashamed of anything. Just tell me.", he said and came a little closer.

He took one of her hands and held her just as he did many times while they were hanging out in the library. Both thought they were fitting into each other perfectly. "I think you made the library to my own special place, Yoongi."

If she was a book, Yoongi would read her again and again. He thought she was so perfect, every little bit of her. She was that type of girl people were writing books about he enjoyed and he never thought they existed in reality.

But it seemed like he found her and therefore his own story.

"I'm glad I started talking to you out of the sudden and got to know you. You are the most beautiful coincidence of my life.", he confessed and stroked her cheek with this thumb.

She smiled at his words, her heart beating so fast when he leaned over with half closed eyes and his nose brushing against hers. "Can I kiss you now?", he whispered and she felt his breath on her skin.

An almost not audible "yes" left her mouth and he gently lay his lips on hers. He felt so soft against her, she could feel how careful and loving he was treating her.

After separating again he kissed her nose and made her chuckle before saying: "I really like you, Elly."

[shiro-0197]

aw shiro, my love, don't worry about it!! i only hope you're okay and safe :d please only reply when you're free, and don't feel bad about it!! >:(

my day yesterday was okay, i've just been relaxing, and studying occasionally. went out to explore a nearby town too, it's so pretty there. and much colder (since it's a highlands) of course!! Today was great too. I bought doughnuts (they're amazing?? I love doughnuts), and I had instant ramen, but it was SO spicy I nearly died. (Three bottles of water later, because someone finished all the milk in the household *cough* me *cough*) and I'm still just reeling. Sucks having such low spice tolerance HAHA. I'm listening to some old school hip-hop rn, while typing this out :D how were your two days?

here are some i'll be using to teach english :d and that would honestly be much appreciated, he's getting on my last nerve rn. (I included the first few, what do you think?)

thats such a priceless feeling i so totally agree. you're so precious 🥺🥺 i'm sure they're prouder thank you imagine. you're so dedicated!! i'm sure all that extra research you've done will definitely pay off. it's good that you know what the job is roughly like, so you'll be really prepared when you finally do start it. you know that one scene, in the 2nd season of the great pretender? when the chinese mafia boss emphasizes the importance of a translator in literally everything? (like that book award example) i may be getting the thing muddled up, but i found that so cool. like yeah, a book or speech could be absolutely beautiful, but if everyone can't enjoy it due to it being a different language, it would be such a shame. i just find translators really important. sorry, i'm really dorky haha 🥺🥺

awww but i think your personality type is wonderful. a lot of my favourite characters are intj (they're all so precious istg grrrr) yes!! i was in a tooru brainrot yesterday too 😭😭😭 (saw a bunch of couples on my walk, and I was like "if only Tooru was real grrrr") and yes?? there'd be so much to learn from each and every one of them. dedication from hinata, savage lines from tsukki, kindness from yams/yachi, how to be a dork 101 from atsumu. aaaah 😭😭i'm sorry they're all so wonderful.

No pftttt I totally feel you. I saw some people without masks today and I was like "bro wtf" and just really loudly said "I sure hope everyone starts following the rules so the cases don't increase" because I'm a lil bitch like that xD

awww okay!! I'll definitely keep that in mind. Mayo makes everything better, tbh >.< aww that's understandable! I don't have specific preferences but hearing the phrase "soggy cheese" makes me want to cry somewhere :( I don't like nuts in chocolate. I'm very passionate about that? XD ikr??

I'm surprised too, I usually never pass on murder, but I guess you're just special like that 👉👈 sir I'd get married to you as many times as you'd like 😼 oops sorry for being cheesy, but—you like cheese ;)

U

I won't ask why, don't worry. Since I kinda feel the same about Malaysia tbh. It's a love hate relationship, I think HAHA but yeah 😣😣 i don't look up to US at all, and it sucks because people generally do. And I'm just like ;-; why (no offense to Americans tho lol)

is that even legal omg they're so chaotic?? XD how cute tho. Angel does stuff like that all the time too, but I'd never know that when I first met her (she has the most perfect exterior, and then when you get to know her; she's the biggest dork) Schools opening on the 20th, I can't wait to see her then :] (I can, however, wait for the exams which are scheduled for the 25th ugh)

peanut butter is indeed yellow, not up for discussion hehe :) here's my favourite hues!! I love gentle, soft hues like these (pastels) , for yellow; I don't have a favourite. they're all wonderful

ahhh no that's so precious of you!! :)) I'm smiling rn.

yeah skdhskdjsk I'M JUST SO GRRR. Whenever someone goes "hey Ari can you ______" and we both respond?? The tension?? In the air?? Bro skdjskks. 😔🤚 You share a name with one of the most precious characters too tho!!;

This is Shiro from Voltron hehe. I love him so much, just like I love you (tho I'm sure we both know I love you more <3)

I share a name with a book character. His name is Aristotle Mendoza, but his crush-turned-boyfriend calls him "Ari" (which has been my nickname since I was 12). Reading it for the first time was the BEST feeling ever. It's also my favourite book, "Aristotle and Dante discover the secrets of the universe".

—Ari :D (no pfttt I love the tag so much. I have my own tag, that's like the best thing ever 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺)

Heyyy I'm so sorry for answering so late!! I know you said not to apologize but..... well hmm no excuse I just feel like apologizing, but either way thank you for your patience!!♡ This is the third time I'm rewriting this, and this time I'm doing this in my notes because fuck it😔

Im glad to hear that!! Highlands are always so pretty. Wish we had those here, but it's only steppe here:( Boring~ ooh, donuts!!! They're really good. I havent much, but I tried them like 3 times and they're so good. I really hope I will get to eat more<3 also WHAT'S THOSE NOODLES' NAME I WANNA KNOW- Are you feeling okay now, though? XD

My days were nice!!! Felt as if I had been hiding three bodies, but I've been feeling better lately. We had online school yesterday so I'm excused from the errands for the half of the day, thankfully. But your messages make me very happy. Though I dont always feel like writing a response (or I get stressed because it doenst save) so very sorry for that😔

Ohh those look so pretty!! I'd totally join to just look at them. The colors are so nice🥺 it looks like one of our olympiad prep slides, though better. I dont have the screenshots sadly😩 Either way I really love the little details like the squiggly thingies or the Ж .... they seem unnecessary but the energy changes a lot without them hehe

I really hope they will be🥺 that'd mean a lot to me. And I'm also really hopeful itll work out. I really don't wanna disappoint my family, which is literally just one person. The less people there are, the more it hurts, you know?

Yeah, that scene meant so much to me!! I dknt remember much, but I was very happy they said something like that, because I've been told being a translator wont work out for me. Now look at me, I'm about to tell them to fuck themselves<3 I was also so surprised to see Laurent know that many languages ..... I aspire to be like him😩 And honestly, I havent though so deep of that but you opened my eyes and now I'm about to float off into the next universe😭 dont apologize though, its very cute!!!♥︎♥︎

Heheh, I guess you're right.. every single anime INTJ is a silent sexy mastermind and I love them . ... YEAH every single time I see a passing couple i cry because I dont have anyone 😡💔 and sometimes when I see people doing something amusing (which includes people failing cuz I'm evil) I just imagine one of the characters doing that and I smile all the way xD Honestly, I'd sell my father on black market for a single day with one of them:( though that may sound like a really low price because his cigarette filled lungs wouldnt cost a lot... I sound like my 7th grade self again I'm so sorry

BAHQHHANEJWJD I HOPE THEY WERE EMBARRASED. I HOPE THEY FELT AWKWARD AND OTHER PEOPLE DID TOO, they deserve it. Like, learn your lesson bitch, it's been a year!

Yeah!!! I love mayo, not to the point where I would gulp it down from the package, but it does make dishes taste good. Same, soggy cheese on itself sounds like a dish served in the ninth circle of hell. You should try nuts in honey!! Like, just straight up dip them in honey. Sounds weird, and it doesnt always taste NEJFJKSKF (depends on the honey)but I think it's worth trying xD Walnuts are the best with honey I think

That was so funny ... TOO FUNNY, I LAUGHED FOR LIKE . 3MINUTES STRAIGHT and I do not laugh when I'm tired. You really are special 😭😭😭😭 cheesy ... HAHRNFJJSF

I'm so sorry for being a bully like that but it's so funny how you left a single U there . Its so mysterious, was it in purpose? Or were you lost in the excitement if messaging me?

I was one of those people, honestly 😭 but mostly because I wasnt aware of its political condition, I guess. Maybe theres more than just politics that's bad about US, but honestly, it has more opportunities than this hellfire. Though now I'm more into Norway and Japan. Really wanna travel there :(

Heheh, yeah, we never really show off to strangers at first. I dont know what exactly I mean by we, but you get my point ♡ Good luck though!! I hope it goes well for you<3

Oh they looks so pretty!! They're really wonderful. Like bubblegum and cotton candy and literally anything sweet... it's so cute !!! And I totally agree, there isnt a bad yellow.

HAHAH, honestly, that reminds me of how there were 4 people with the same name in my class, and whenever the teacher did the attendance thing, they would all stand up. Teachers usually dont say the last names, so we always gotta ask which person they mean if theres more than one person with that name, so yeah.. That happened on accident at first, but then they just did it for trolling xD

OH MY GOD HES SO PRETTY? HES SO PRECIOUS?? HUHHH??? I gotta thank Kuro for this wonderful opportunity of sharing a name with someone like .... him🥺

Oh that's so cool!! Also, he has a boyfriend ... I really need to start reading xD it's so cute though! It sounds like such a good book, I'm glad you share a name with him, hehe!!

I also share my real name with one of the characters in a kids' show, and its SO ugly, I'm in pain. Every time my friends see one of those on TV they go

Which is a pain in the ass, it's so embarrassing...........

Awh, okay!! I'm glad you love it, cuz I do too. Because it's your name.... cuz I love u. That was so lame PLEASEJWJDJSJF I HOPE YOUR DAY WAS GREAT !!! LOVE YOU