#but I’m tall according to a 6 year old

[purple-haired-faerie]

Family pt 1

Azriel x reader

Future fic, Family fic, established relationship

Word Count: 800

You had thought this time would be easier. You were only given birth to one Illyrian babe this time, rather than two. However your daughter seemed to have other plans. According to Madja, the babe had was at an angle they shouldn’t be at, and a wing had gotten caught. Madja was confident that you’d be fine, as long as she was carful and got the babe out soon. Azriel had been in such a state when Madja had initially broken the news, that it had taken both Rhysand and Cassian to drag him out the room, realising he wasn’t actually helping the situation. They had taken him to look after your teenage sons, saying that they needed their father whilst their mother was bringing their baby sister into the world. Feyre had promised to stay with you and assist Madja.

I have no idea how long my labour lasted after that point, or entirely what happened after Azriel left. I knew pain, I had fought in the war against Hybern, and had delivered twin Illyrian babes before but having a babes wing rip me from the inside out was on another level, and I was loosing a lot of blood. But then a cry broke out, a cry that wasn’t mine. It was a babies cry and Feyre was placing my daughter in my arms. Madja checked me over, and gave me some medicine to help with the injuries, and Feyre cleaned me up before quietly, Madja following her out, supplies all packed up. They were replaced with Azriel, and our sons where hot on his heels. Axel and Elias immediately came over, cooing over their baby sister.

As soon as Azriel and I had told them I was pregnant, they had become even more protective of me, taking after their father in that regards. It was sweet, but having three overbearing Illyrian males playing mother hen could get a lot at times. I shouldn’t complain, it wasn’t a guarantee that teenage males would want to spend time with their Mum but Axel and Elias had proven that notion wrong. They had gotten worse when they had found out I was having a girl, becoming even more protective of me and telling me how they were going to protect their baby sister. I’d spent a lot of time with Feyre, who understood all too well what it was like to be a boy mum and pregnant. She’d has Selene five years ago and had to content with a seventeen year old Nyx and Rhys following her around all over the place.

“I’m sorry I freaked. You were the one in labour and yet I was the one who couldn’t handle it. If anything happened to you…” Azriel’s babbling brought me out of my thoughts. It wasn’t often the Shadowsinger of the Night caught babbled, but when he got spooked in regards to his family, the babbling started. I gave him a reassuring smile saying “you were exactly where I needed you, with the boys. And anyway it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Rhys lost his cool when Feyre had Selene and need I remind you what Cassian was like when Nesta had Clarissa? I’m okay Az. And so is our little Esther”. We’d decided on the name Esther as it meant star, and I had found out I was pregnant on Starfall. I could tell Azriel wasn’t convinced but decided that now wasn’t the time to have that conversation. Instead, he asked “so who wants to be the first to hold their baby sister?” which only caused squabbling between the two brothers.

Despite being twins, the boys were non-identical. Admittedly they had inherited all the Illyrian features from their father, but there were differences. Axel had more green in his eyes and had a slight height advantage over his bother (they were still 6 foot tall at fifteen and still growing) and had inherited Azriel’s shadowsinging abilities. Unlike his father, he was an extrovert and had the ability to make friends with everyone. Elias had inherited my healing abilities, and was more introverted. He had a slight stammer and hated talking to people he didn’t know, terrified they would bully him, mocking him for his ‘inability to speak properly’. Azriel and I had always told him it was nothing to be ashamed of, and Axel pointed out that he and Nyx would always sort out anyone who was mean to him.

Somehow they came to an agreement and Axel was cuddling Esther, and Azriel had me cuddled into his side. I couldn’t help the smile that formed on my face. After all the pain and trauma we had all been through, the reward of being married to my mate, and having three beautiful, healthy children whilst living in Velaris.

Tags; @romantasyreader28 @suppppp97

[dokidokisadness]

Werewolf training - prologue

summary: A werewolf hunter adopts a werewolf pup in order to make a living weapon out of him.

[btw this is losely based on WoD and werewolf the apocalypse - mostly bc I don't have any of the books yet and honestly never played it, but I really like the concepts and the world.]

Tw: minor wump, dehumanization, ableism, religious themes, living weapon.

it's appearance is clearly inhuman. the long hairy ears, snout shaped nose, thick eyebrows and pointy teeth were more than enough for it to be set apart from the other infants at the orphanage. genetic deformity was the diagnosis given by pretty much everyone who saw it at the time.

the unusual features called the attention of many doctors during the first years of it's life, however, as it grew older the nuns responsible for the place began wondering it was a matter for the church to handle. Doctors were gradually replaced by exorcist priests.

Luckly, that was when I managed to find it. A werewolf, I could tell simply by glancing at it. Agressive, volitile, a beast, now even more dangerous since provoked by the medicines and the loud word of god. As it stood it was a tiking bomb waiting to burst and my job, as a professional hunter, was of course to kill it.

It was my job, but… well, I was young and the monster in question was still a only a small menace compared to the finished product. Malnurished, small, naive and only a few years old. According to this guide “To tame a perfect hunter” it was still under the appropriate age for conditioning. Needless to say I picked it up for myself.

As for now, my little project is near finished. It took years to achieve the current result and I’ve come to realise it won’t truly end very soon. Rather, it is a lifelong deal. I named it Moss due to it’s greenish tangled fur. I’m confident you’ll appreciate it and it’s usefullness on the last years and approve him as an official in the guild. The picture and general data is on the other envelope.

. . . . . ╰──╮

Name: Moss;

age: 4~6

Tribe: unknown;

height: 130 cm;

weight: 13kg;

╭──╯ . . . . .

I kept the name short, I heard most hunters keep it simple. no human names, no last names.

The age is dificult to tell since it is tall, yet clumsy and lacking in plenty motor skills. the orphanage said it used to look infant only a year ago.

The tribe is he came from is most likely bone gnawers or silent striders, I'm tenting to the bone gnawers. it looks nothing like most silent striders I've seen.

The info above was collected on the day it came into my hands for scientific purpose, so thay I am able to show my methods and results in comparison to what is usually done . The current data on it will be sent once my study is approved.

[blueiscoool]

Lost and Found: Bottle Hunter Digs Extraordinary Farmland Treasures

Tom Askjem is a time traveler. Every May to November, he disappears into the bowels of the earth, descends to depths of 13’-plus, and returns to the surface with treasure—bottles and glassware from farming’s past.

After 1,800 pits and hundreds of thousands of relics, Askjem is equal parts archeologist, thrill seeker, and mole. Muscle on dirt, the North Dakota farm boy has turned an addiction into a career, multiple books, and a captivating YouTube channel with millions of views. However, Askjem seeks more than glass.

“I’m digging for adventure, history, and love,” he says. The past is in these holes and there are countless numbers of them across farmland.”

Time to hunt with a master.

The Infection

On the flats of extreme eastern North Dakota’s Traill County, Askjem, 32, prepares for a dig trip. “No mountains and no hills in the Red River Valley,” he describes. “You can see your dog run away for days. The land is mostly featureless, other than a few big cottonwoods and shelter belts where farms used to be.”

A mop of blonde hair sits atop a 6’-tall, lanky frame as Askjem saddles his pony—a Honda Civic. At the current mileage rate, the Civic will be junkyard fodder before it has a scratch: 60,000 backroad miles added to the odometer in the past six months.

Askjem piles layers of gear into the trunk, including three of each tool for insurance: shovels, pronged garden forks, trampoline pads, probe rods, buckets, plastic scoopers, trowels, tents, sleeping bags, blankets, pillows, air mattresses, clothes, and waterproof, Redwing leather work boots.

“It never gets old,” he says, wearing a wide grin. “I caught the infection when I was a kid.”

Digging Bodies

Pushed from the Grand Forks area by the historic Red River flood of 1997, Askjem moved to a farm outside Buxton at six years young. The main property was an 1878 homestead—a progression from sod house to log cabin to the present standing 1898 farmhouse decked in Victorian-era woodwork and hardware.

Surrounded by history, including the skeletons of old wagons and rusting machinery, Askjem explored a 5-acre patch of woods on the property, and chanced on a garbage dump: pop bottles and trash.

Askjem dug.

“I went deep and found stuff going back to 1898. When you’re a kid living in the country, there’s no going down the street and there’s no hanging with friends to play video games—you make your own adventure. I started hitting up all the farmers I could find for leads.”

Behind the wheel of a rattling go-cart, Askjem sought Buxton old-timers and collected tips on abandoned houses. “They all helped me,” he says. “Nobody cared where I hunted because I was just a little kid exploring for all the right reasons.”

“I’ve still got an elementary school journal with an assignment describing my weekend,” he adds. “I wrote, ‘Me and Mom dug up old bodies.’ The teacher marked my paper out of concern,” Askjem describes, with an easy, deep chuckle. “I meant to spell bottles, not bodies. But it shows I was truly hooked.”

Indeed. Wonderfully hooked.

Soft Landing

Why are bottles buried under farmland and old house sites?

Prior to plastic and synthetics, glassware held everything: medicine, hygiene products, alcohol, soda, and beyond. Glass was it.

Additionally, prior to waste disposal services, homeowners discarded trash on-site—in back yard outhouses, trash depressions, burn pits, and wells or cisterns. In short time, the various ground receptacle spots were filled and forgotten.

“Let’s say, for example, a family moved in around 1880,” Askjem explains. “That site likely has two or three outhouse locations prior to World War l. The outhouse spots filled up at a rate according to family size. I dug one farmhouse site that had six outhouses in a 10-year span. Folks went into the outhouses and threw away bottles: medicine, opiates, beer, whiskey. It was convenient and private, and had a soft landing, and got covered quickly. Even now, the bottles often are still preserved.”

“Generally, these houses also had a burn pit and/or dump pit. In the early days, they burned all trash in the stove for heat. Also, homestead bucket wells were filled up with trash and bottles once they were replaced by pump wells. Cisterns also were eventually filled up, but most of those are associated with houses in town.”

And the sites remain, he emphasizes, hiding intact relics beyond the reach of farm machinery or tillage equipment.

X Marks the Spot

Location. Location. Location. Other than a tip or invitation, how does Askjem find dig sites?

X marks the spot, at least in the county courthouse or public library. He spends winters poring over early property transaction documents. “I look at lot sales. If several lots sold for $100 each in 1880, but one sold for $1,000 in 1885, the price climb tells the story and likely represents a building location.”

“I also read old newspaper archives, looking for hotel or business advertisements,” Askjem continues. “Then I can look up the proprietor’s name and keep tightening the scope, narrowing down the exact building location.”

“Every single house is different, but generally, in the countryside, outhouses were 30 paces out the back door. In the city, where most lots were 140’ long, outhouses could be as close as 5-10 paces.”

Confident of a site’s potential, Askjem first asks for permission to dig from the landowner. “Property owners are always so kind to me and I don’t hide anything I find. They’re curious about what is in the ground, just like anybody else.”

Second, he grids out the site. “I put down markers 2 paces apart, maybe 20 paces long. I push probe rods into ground and feel for compaction differences. Depending on the location, I’ll call in and have utility lines marked out for power and gas.”

Decked in Levi’s and a tank-top, it’s time to tunnel.

Claustrophobic Comfort

Shovel in hand, Askjem descends into a layer cake of dirt: black topsoil to brown-colored clay to telltale ash to a use layer containing treasure.

“Generally, I go deep to find old items in quantity. The earliest bottles were used to the last drop by farmers and thrown out empty. Therefore, when they froze in brutal Dakota winters, the glass didn’t break from liquid expansion.”

As Askjem extracts glass vessels from the dirt and grime, his encyclopedic knowledge registers with each find. He recognizes the type, manufacturer, and age. Ink bottles, hygiene bottles, medicine bottles, beer bottles, soda bottles—and far more spill from the holes.

“I find patented medicine bottles across the country, but my favorite are soda bottles because they are unique to their locale and have character. The old soda bottles are usually marked with the bottler and town name because they were returnable.”

The outhouse pits are typically 6’-deep at home sites, with an average size of 6’-by-4’-by-3’. “I’ve dug ghost towns, dug saloons, train depots, and pool halls that were 12’ long, 4’ wide, and 8’ deep. I remember a hotel pit that was 20’-by-20’ and 8’ deep. There was a military fort with pits behind the barracks that was 12’ long, 4’ wide, and 13.5’ deep: That was a week’s worth of digging.”

Askjem’s subterranean realm provides no comfort to the claustrophobic. At 8’-9’, he braces the holes with woodwork. “I’m in a solid clay base that doesn’t cave, but I have a healthy respect for the ground’s limitation. Sometimes, it looks like I’m digging a rabbit hole.”

Preserved in nature’s freezer, the artifacts unearthed by Askjem often are in phenomenal condition.

“Pieces of newspaper can still be read; bottle labels are legible; white lime used in decomposition is visible; and undigested seeds are everywhere. Even 120-year-old human waste sometimes is perfectly preserved and still smells like hell. I wear a hydrogen sulfide respirator in those cases.”

“It’s all there; almost like it was dropped yesterday.”

Ghosts in the Ground

In 2022, Askjem began chronicling his digs via a YouTube channel, Below the Plains, and soon captured millions of views. At two posts per week, he gins footage at a steady rate to feed the algorithm, a tough task considering the ground in his geography is frozen from mid-November to mid-May.

Additionally, Askjem has written two in-depth books (Nebraska Soda Bottles 1865-1930 and A History of North Dakota Bottling Operations 1879-1930) and has more on the way. “I put the bottle prices in the books because they can sell for a whole lot and I always tell the landowners. Listing prices draw criticism, but that’s important to me because it helps preserve the item, and preservation of history is what drives me.”

Covered in dust or mud at the end of each day in digging season, Askjem is highly respectful of what he finds—almost reverent after 1,800 digs. “I appreciate everything I uncover because it represents a part of someone’s daily life and existence. There’s nothing wrong with coveting bottles, but I’m really in those holes for the moment of discovery.”

Even when not digging, Askjem is on the move, surfing on the coasts or river diving for lost cargo. In the decades to come, will he continue burrowing into the past? “Twenty years from now, I hope I’m still digging and there’s nothing I’d rather be doing right now.”

“There’s not an infinite amount of lost bottle sites, but there’s certainly an incredibly high number,” he continues. “There were 300,000 homestead farms in North Dakota with a minimum of one well, one outhouse, and one trash dump. And that doesn’t include towns where most of the population lived. There are millions of these sites in North Dakota and far more in other states.”

Respect to a freewheeling hunter like no other. Bottles draw the eye, but ghosts draw the heart: “The moment never gets old when you uncover a bottle and find that history,” Askjem adds. “Never.”

By CHRIS BENNETT.

[margotoo0]

◇ Huge Sukuna headcanon AU ◇ (cuz I'm crazy)

English is not my native language. It was originally written in Russian, so it is very difficult to translate it correctly, since there are a lot of slangs. And I’m also talking damn nonsense, that’s why.

DO NOT TAKE EVERYTHING WRITTEN SERIOUSLY!!! THIS ALL WAS WRITTEN WHEN THE AUTHOR WAS UNDER METH!!!♡♡♡♡♡

I hope you stay alive and read this to the end.

AU! Our time

Well, what... About the base?

◇About 40-45 years old, mentally - all 70.. (he just tired) No wife, no family, everything is according to the canon.

◇It’s worth paying a little attention to his appearance (Kukukhuhuh):

1) I’ve seen a lot of art on AU Sukuna (I’ve seen a lot, a lot...), I really liked the theme with the patch on the right eye, so let’s take note. Most likely, either he has some problems since birth (Ehehe.. Let’s leave the topic of an unwanted child due to a congenital pathology?))), or he successfully lost it in one of the stabbings (that’s how he met Uraume..)

2) Huge bruises under the eyes. With age, wrinkles also appeared there. The eyes are sleepy, sometimes capillaries burst.

3) His skin is rough and rough. A common problem is peeling; in winter it’s completely out of whack.

4) AQUILINE NOSE (big noses, I like big noses..)

5) He is tall. Very. 190+ exactly. But this is not just a cruise ship, it’s a whole tank. The same guy who is the envy of all natural jocks. Something between a mesomorph, and maybe even an endomorph. The fact itself: there is a lot of muscle, but not dry. In all the right places, as they say...Ahhhhh. I won’t write you the muscle mass ratio and fat percentage, sorry. Where did it come from? Well, look at his true uniform. (Moreover, there were jokes on the Internet that he was on a mass gain after the illustration for the exhibition came out. Eh...They just didn’t deserve him, they were jealous) A strong, good man, I give it a like, without a ticket to my bed. You can consider yourself to have won the genetic lottery. Little nasty bug.

6) It’s obvious that in some places there are scars (a scar on the stomach, where his mouth is, according to the canon), burns... There’s all sorts of things there, in fact.

7) Tattoo? YES!

8) I also saw a couple of heads on Sukuna the boxer, he was included in the heavyweight category. I COMPLETELY AGREE, THIS IS A FACT.

9) In general, he is a typical cat-person. Like..he is so tiger 🐅

10) He also squints often. His gaze is empty, but in his head there is a whole construction site.

====

Okay, I didn’t come up with anything else about appearance, you can figure it out for yourself. Let's go big already.

◇Philosophy of life? Sukuna adheres to that same “hedonism”, EGOISM, that everyone somehow misses when they talk about Sukuna’s philosophy. He doesn’t believe in your metaphysics; sometimes nihilistic tendencies slip through.

◇Remember his hobby? FOOD. And this thing has been preserved. He doesn’t deny himself anything, an ever-meat diet. Proper nutrition? Diets? Wtf, what? He don't know what. But he’s also an eater, he won’t eat everything, he’s very selective. High quality, three Michelin stars. (In general, the topic here is this... In the Heian era, he ate people, right? So, he mainly gave preference to the meat of women and children, since their meat is more tender due to a higher percentage of fat than that of men. Juicy, to be honest)

◇Eh...Would he be Hannibal Lector? Would you eat human flesh? Answer this question yourself. But it's interesting.

◇He has a very specific taste in food

◇What does he do in life? OHHOHO, SO. This is where the juice begins.

Please just keep in mind that this is all a fat joke.

◇We all know very well that Sukuna loves battles, fights, fighting, wars... He loves physical contact very much. Because of this, there is a head that Sukuna could have been involved in wrestling, in particular, boxing or jujitsu, but I have an opinion that Sukuna simply would not have lasted long, or would not have started a career at all. Well, how...

1) If we assume that he was actually involved in wrestling at one time, then his “career” ended after the first major championship at the age of about 20-25 years. In short, everything is simple: during the first round he almost killed his opponent (HAHAHAA), it came to resuscitation. Of course, Sukuna is a tough fighter, but no one expected such meanness. How was he even allowed in? Well, we thought about making money, but Sukuna’s adrenaline was stronger. He never returned to the ring. By some miracle he was not convicted (or rather... They wanted to, but Sukuna was faster). By the way, it must be said that this is not the first time Sukuna has smeared someone on the floor. But for some reason he always got away with it. It didn’t work out here... He wasn’t very upset, to be honest.

Did you think that he would receive penalties cards? No. There are 100% problems with the law. I just decided not to do hardcore.

2) From here I could already talk about the second half of his cheerful life, but I must say that Sukuna, I think, would not go into big sports at all, since it requires a lot of organization, and besides, a lot restrictions. Even MMA is NOT fighting without rules. Elementary. Sukuna has very good stamina, as well as willpower, it’s just... He couldn’t get enough of it. He doesn’t chase fame and success, he’d like to get a thrill from a fight. You can’t just leave training, you can’t do this, you can’t do that. He is simply an excellent virtuoso and improviser who adapts perfectly to the situation, BUT! Only if he WANTS it.

There is a very simple formula: "I can, but I don’t want to. I'm lazy, I'm not interested." Sukuna is not an organized person at all, and if he behaves like this, it is clearly not in good deeds.

3) You can skip this part, but I liked this idea. First I came up with it myself, then I also found headcanons with JJK teachers, everything coincided.

◇It seems to me that Sukuna could become an excellent historian, I don’t know why.. The topic is this: as a cover, he could randomly choose a profession (purely because his history was going well, but he had already improved his dorm life, when he was detained in the police stations for several days)

◇He doesn’t believe in God, but God believes in him, so Sukuna passed the exams well. As I say, he very smart and capable, if only I had the desire.

◇ I’ll quickly go over it:

1) I didn’t want to teach at a university, but at a college - why not. He doesn't like teenagers, but he likes to mock them.

2) He is constantly late for lectures. He swore at his directors when they put the history first. As a result, on Thursday the history is only 50 minutes long.

3) We must give him credit, he talks SO INTERESTINGLY, it’s just crazy. Here you will either listen with your mouth open, or fall asleep to his voice (sorry, I couldn’t resist, phew. In this case, he will come up and knock on the head, like “Who’s there?”) 😭😭😭 (AZAHAZPH)

4) He talks like he went to Moscow with Napoleon, then he judged the Decembrists, then he was in Petrograd at the revolution, then he and Stalin thought about how to defeat the browns, and he also sat together with Goering at Nuremberg... I think there’s no need to even mention the process of battles in the Second World War. He wrote everything down in a notebook while he was in the trench. In general, it's tough.

5) Despite all the charm of the above, he has a terrible memory for dates, so even his students don’t bother with it.

6) Do you want a test? Buy him an expensive bottle of red wine, then he MAYBE will consider your offer (yes, of course he will, he’s just showing off, he’s not interested in that at all)

7) After the first month, the students began to suspect something. You know, mysterious, like a perfume set (russian proverb). Like that same physical education teacher who always hangs out in the back room (local joke...). The smart ones guess, but the smartest ones have already made inquiries, they just remain silent, since Sukuna, in fact, is respected and feared by teenagers (in a good way). It’s a pity that the love is not particularly mutual...Uh.

In general, you understand. But what does he do anyway? He became a teacher in order to divert attention from himself. Decent citizen, but is just some kind of grouch <3

It's time for us to go into his natural environment. Crime)

Here everything is based on:

1. Pleasure, risk

2. Money. Just to live large.

It all started with Uraume (here also Uraume is “they”, so you can consider it either a man or a woman. Whatever you want). According to the canon, Uraume is a cook. It’s the same here, but with a surprise.. In general, Uraume “cooks”, and in Russian, he makes interesting preparations...)))(EMHAJAJAJJAAHPA0, WHAT IS THE PLOT OF “BREAKING BAD”, AZAHAHAHCH I’M DEAD Okay, just give me a chance)

◇Sukuna knew his comrades so well that he learned about Ura’s affairs only after 8-9 years of acquaintance (Forgive him).

◇In short, Uraume cooks well, and also studied at the chemistry department. Uraume had a purely monetary question; they didn’t use their own product (and I don’t advise you to, otherwise you’ll later invent such garbage like I did)

◇ – What is this? - What do you think? Sukuna narrowed his eyes. - And you decided not to tell me about it? - And I didn’t hide it. Just why extra attention to yourself? There was silence in the room. - Listen... - Sukuna, don't- - LET ME FINISH. ◇ Uraume had no options.

◇Every drug dealer needs his own "sportik" (This is what we call those who punish or kill people who hide drugs). Well, you understand, right...?

◇Well, that’s how it started to spin and spin. Moreover, it was Sukuna who opened the doors to the darkest places. Accordingly, he himself stood up very quickly, and even the dog would not dare to growl. Hello, black market. The only problem is hiding all this from the police + there is not enough imagination on how to launder the money, but the business itself is going well and wonderful. Sukuna also managed to be a hired killer in the dark spaces. He lives a very happy life, he likes it. Finally able to use fighting skills. Hooray.

◇ Sukuna once even showed interest in “cooking” while watching Uraume. You will be shocked, but he does a great job. Wow.

◇Well, not really. It seems to me that Sukuna is either a pure humanist, or with an admixture of biology and chemistry (everything was reinforced there along the way). But algebra, geometry, physics - well, no. I was ready to fight to the death with one guy from the faculty of Physics and Mathematics, because they stood and proved what is generally more important in life. I think his name was Gojo...I don't know.

◇ The only thing he can do from this is count money and interest.

◇The same person who will walk into the room, be silent for 5 minutes, and then sigh and “I, you know, what I think...”. He will tell you the whole course of philosophy, and then he will also express his opinion. I advise you to remain silent, not breathe loudly and listen carefully.

◇Law of the universe: if Sukuna is nearby, then with a 99% probability something will fall, break... Or maybe someone...

◇ Law of the universe: if Sukuna is nearby, then with a 99% probability something will fall, break, or break. Or maybe someone..

◇MAKE IT TO THE HIGH FASHION! He really knows how to dress with taste. You can’t tell from him, since Sukuna, like Tyler Durden, destroys everything, but he still understands art, aesthetics and style. And you will find out this in a completely unexpected way.

◇“Combining green and yellow in the interior? What squalor...”

“Mmm... Like Baroque”

◇Prefers dark and deep colors: black, burgundy, red, emerald, purple, ocher, etc.

◇ He loves Japanese painting on clothes, although most often he wears plain ones. But he has one or two kimonos. How is this painting technique... Yuzen?

◇Despite the fact that he has large hands and fingers, he has well-developed fine motor skills (a useful skill))

◇Doesn’t go to the GYM and makes fun of those who go there. Real men should knock out brains and teeth! (He just somehow saw that Gojo and Yuji’s change were going to the gym. That’s where it came from)

◇He, of course, could become some kind of powerlifter, since his physical capabilities allows it, but he doesn’t want to. Does he even want anything other than to kill and ruin the lives of others? (NO)

◇He met Kenjaku through Uraume

◇Sukuna calls Kenjaku a freak and a pervert (f*cked, to be more precise) because of his strange humor (Believe me, Sukuna is not far off, like...Kenjaku jokes about necr0philia, and Sukuna about cannibalism)

◇ I sleep and see: two grandfathers are sitting and trying to tell jokes. Only Uraume is unfunny...

◇Sukuna has some problems with sleep, and it doesn’t matter whether he sleeps a lot or a little, 3 hours or 12. He often dozes. (Sleepy kitty)

◇ Head from school: Sukuna had no friends at all before college, and there’s no point in talking about friends. One against all, all against one. In the last year of study, he changed place of study because he almost threw a classmate out of the window, and he also received a concussion.

◇He hated team games. Do you get upset when you are accused of playing poorly and causing your team to lose? Pf. In the first few games, Sukuna deliberately threw the ball anywhere, and he himself took it away from his team, passing it to another. And it makes no difference which team.

◇ He was not respected, he was feared. And rightly so, they were afraid. He could really kill

◇In fact, his social skills are poorly developed, he simply does not consider it necessary. In college, he got involved with Uraume, and that was enough for him. Cosy.

◇By the way, according to the canon there is no wife or children, it’s the same story. We must pay tribute - he did not touch women, unless he killed them when it was necessary for “work”. Sukuna himself is a very attractive man, but 85% of women were afraid of him, the remaining 15% tried to somehow flirt with him, start communicating, but Sukuna 🤨❓️ then showed such contempt that these women developed complexes for the rest of their lives.

◇ He never took call women (prost|tute), he is above that. He generally has the vibe “woman, keep your hands to yourself”, “don’t embarrass yourself” ◇ He can respect you if:

A) You are very smart

B) You are very strong

C) A and B together

He will definitely praise you if he finds you something interesting about you and your business (unless you are Yuji)

◇You can challenge him, just don’t be too stubborn, keep silent again, otherwise your new accessory will become a crutch.

◇I remembered the phrase of one man: “It doesn’t matter whether you are a woman or a man, I will beat you the same way.” This is he.

◇HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE. This is a constant. Will never take responsibility for another person. The only thing he will do is solve Uraume's problems, or just see how people cope. Independence is the key to a good relationship with Sukuna.

◇Content is content, but let's be honest, according to the canon, Sukuna is a very selective frame. This one is boring and not interesting, but this one is weak, and this one is annoying. In general, you won't please. I don't believe that Sukuna could fall in love with someone at all. It's amazing how most of the people here portray him in fanfiction. Well, he wouldn’t start this “subdue and rule” thing, he would immediately take your head off your shoulders. You should be on an equal footing with him, if not superior. Of course, he will fight for dominance, but he definitely values both physical and mental strength. In this regard, absolutely adequate and objective. The most important thing is to have something to praise for. And when someone crawl on their knees in front of him...Why the hell do you doing, you rag? We figured it out.

◇ At one time he used headphones very often, almost 24/7. Moreover, he turned it on purely for the background, without any purpose.

◇In general, he has no goals, only a path. And he does the right thing.

◇Frequent periods of “I don’t want anything, I won’t do anything.”

◇He has 2 states: either he does nothing AT ALL, sits on his ass, or he is a nightmare to everything and everyone.

◇He knows how to speak civilly, but only during some important negotiations. He himself is taciturn, sometimes he makes some obscene remarks. But once every few months he can give out some beautiful poetic remark. You hit the jackpot (“Moonlight helps me to see better how pathetic you are.” Oh, what a romantic)

◇He doesn’t like sweets, but it seems to me that he would like oriental sweets..Turkish delight)

◇A fan of Japanese and Kazakh food

◇He smells of "oldspice", heavy cologne, tobacco and sweat.

◇If he were an animal, he would definitely be a tiger. One big cat. Predatory, but with grace. Just like that.

◇He rarely responds to messages, but if he does, he gives out such a bunch of text, just so that you get tired of reading it all. He writes very quickly. But then again, in real life he's just quiet and grumpy.

◇A bunch of bad habits. It’s just one bad habit (but we’re not going to give it up, right?)

◇Gege Akutami once mentioned that he liked the performance of K-POP group MAMAMOO, in particular, Hwasa was the main shock. In short, if Yuji likes Jennifer Lawrence, then Sukune’s fatal luxury is Hwasa (I just really love this woman myself). He doesn’t listen to K-pop, he just likes her (hips don’t lie, friends..)

◇He would listen to either rock/heavy metal. I can also bet on darkwave, experimental, or maybe something with traditional Japanese motifs. Or maybe even a classic. Who knows..

◇He constantly carries all sorts of chewing gum with him.

◇It seems to me that he is one of those very people to whom you will say: “I went *somewhere*”, will not glance at you, and will remain sitting on the sofa. But after 30 minutes of your journey you will feel that something is wrong..(he is trailing behind you). Cause? He's bored.

◇ His main mission in life is to scare people until their hearts stop. No, just imagine: you’re standing in the kitchen, not bothering anyone, and suddenly a 2-meter big guy squints and slowly picks up a knife. And then he begins to walk towards you with a medium step. Your actions? (Spoiler: subway surf begins) And for realism, it will even leave a cut on your back. <33333 I luv this man sm

◇He clearly has some kind of jokes with physical contact. Pinches, pokes. Bruises are guaranteed.

◇110% organized all sorts of underground fight clubs.

That's all. The fantasy is over. I caught the cringe and laughed. It was fun and enjoyable.

Thanks

[starstruckbyacomet]

There Is No Safe Word (Part 6 of 10)

(Source) (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Prewarning)

Who Killed Amanda Palmer by Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer (2009) First Edition. Photo: eBay.

Editor’s note: This story contains content that readers may find disturbing, including graphic allegations of sexual assault & child abuse.

Gaiman and Palmer met in 2008, when she was 32 and he was 47. Both were at a turning point in their lives and careers. Gaiman was in the midst of finalizing a divorce from his first wife, with whom he had three children, and on the verge of breaking into Hollywood (nine of his works have been turned into movies or TV shows); Palmer was in a fight with her record label that would culminate in a split. Palmer had a collection of photos of herself posing as a murdered corpse and wanted Gaiman to write captions to go along with the pictures. Gaiman liked the idea, and the two met to work on the project, a book tied to her first solo album, Who Killed Amanda Palmer. As Palmer described in The Art of Asking, they were not attracted to each other at first. “I thought he looked like a baggy-eyed, grumpy old man, and he thought I looked like a chubby little boy.”

Gaiman was the first to propose a romantic relationship. In an interview, he later said, “I got together with her because I couldn’t ever imagine being bored.” Palmer could. Ever since she’d gotten her start as a street busker, painting her face white and standing on a crate in Harvard Square dressed as a silent eight-foot-tall bride, she prided herself on a low-rent, bohemian lifestyle, couch-surfing when she toured, playing random shows in the living rooms of her fans. She had no savings and didn’t own a car, real estate, or kitchen appliances. Gaiman owned multiple houses. He was too rich, too famous, too British, too awkward, too old. And they didn’t have great sexual chemistry. But he appeared to be kind and stable, a family man, and they shared a dark, fantastical aesthetic. She also felt a little sorry for him. He seemed lonely, in spite of his fame, and Palmer found herself hoping that she could help him. “He’d believed for a long time, deep down, that people didn’t actually fall in love,” she wrote in her book. “‘But that’s impossible,’” she told him. He’d written stories and scenes of people in love. “‘That’s the whole point, darling,’ he said. ‘Writers make things up.’”

Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer's wedding photoshoot. Photo: Amanda Palmer Blog.

They wed in 2011 in the Berkeley home of their friends Michael Chabon and Ayelet Waldman, the novelists. Their union had a multiplying effect on their fame and stature, drawing each out of their respective domains of cult stardom and into the airy realm of tech-funded virality. They became darlings of the TED talk circuit and regulars at Jeff Bezos’s ultrasecret Campfire retreat. Gaiman introduced Palmer to Twitter, which he had used to become fantasy’s most beloved author of 140-character bons mots. Palmer, in turn, leaned into her growing reputation as a crowdfunding genius. Online, they flirted, went after each other’s critics, and praised each other’s progressive politics. In an interview with Out magazine in 2012, Palmer said that the main “other” relationship in both of their lives was with their fans: “Sometimes when I’m with Neil, and go to the other room to Twitter with my followers, it feels like sneaking off for a quick shag.”

This wasn’t strictly a metaphor. During the early years of their marriage, they lived apart for months at a time and encouraged each other to have affairs. According to conversations with five of Palmer’s closest friends, the most important rule governing their open relationship was honesty. They found that sharing the details of their extramarital dalliances — and sometimes sharing the same partners — brought them closer together.

Who Killed Amanda Palmer music book (2009). Photo: Amazon.

In 2012, Palmer met a 20-year-old fan, who has asked to be referred to as Rachel, at a Dresden Dolls concert. After one of Palmer’s next shows, the women had sex. The morning after, Palmer snapped a few semi-naked pictures of Rachel and asked if she could send one to Gaiman. She and Palmer slept together a few more times, but then Palmer seemed to lose interest in sex with her. Some six months after they met, Palmer introduced Rachel to Gaiman online, telling Rachel, “He’ll love you.” The two struck up a correspondence that quickly turned sexual, and Gaiman invited her to his house in Wisconsin. As she packed for the trip, she asked Palmer over email if she had any advice for pleasing Gaiman in bed. Palmer joked in response, “i think the fun is finding out on your own.” With Gaiman, Rachel says there was never a “blatant rupture of consent” but that he was always pressing her to do things that hurt and scared her. Looking back, she feels Palmer gave her to him “like a toy.”

Whittling Hazel, an original illustration from The Ocean at the End of the Lane written by Neil Gaiman (Headline, 2019), illustrated by Elise Hurst. Photo: Elise Hurst.

For Gaiman and Palmer, these were happy years. With his editing help, she wrote The Art of Asking. They toured together. And when Palmer was offered a residency at Bard College, Gaiman tagged along to give some talks, then ended up receiving an offer to join the faculty as a professor of the arts. After they’d been together for a few years, Palmer began asking Gaiman to tell her more about his childhood in Scientology. But he seemed unable to string more than a few sentences together. When she encouraged him to continue, he would curl up on the bed into a fetal position and cry. He refused to see a therapist. Instead, he sat down to write a short story that kept getting longer until it had turned into a novel. Although the child at the center of the story in many ways remains opaque, Palmer felt he had never been so open. He dedicated the book, The Ocean at the End of the Lane, “to Amanda, who wanted to know.”

Back to: Part 5, next: Part 7

[shyearthquakedaze]

there are other abduction cases involving the mutilation of animals by beings that don’t look like the cat-eyed beings. In fact, what appear to be the Controllers of smaller entities are often tall humanoids, sometimes seen in long, white robes, even with hoods over their heads. Government documents have described smaller beings referred to as “extraterrestrial biological entities,” or EBEs, and another group called the “Talls.” Some people in the human abduction syndrome think the EBEs and the Talls are at war with each other — but not with bullets. The impression is that these E. T.s war through deceptive mind control and manipulation of time lines.

Perhaps deception and time warps are why there is so much confusion in the high strangeness of encounters with Other Intelligences, the variety of non-human physical appearances, and lack of consistent communication by the entities about who they are, where they are from, and why they are on planet Earth lifting people from cars and bedrooms, or animals from backyards and pastures in beams of light.

While Judy Doraty’s May 1973 encounter with her teenage daughter near a pasture outside Houston, Texas, involved the cat-eyed beings and mutilation of a calf on board the craft in front of Judy, there was another abduction experience seven years later in the first week of May 1980 near a Cimarron, New Mexico, pasture.Purple map pointer marks Cimarron, New Mexico, northwest of Taos. Santa Fe and Los Alamos are marked by larger red circles in lower left of map while all the other red circles mark places of multiple animal mutilations in the Jicarilla Apache Indian Reservation, Dulce, Chama, Espanola, Questa, Taos, Las Vegas and Raton, New Mexico. Across the northern border into Colorado, other red circles at multiple mutilation sites are in Pagosa Springs, Alamosa, Walsenburg and Trinidad. The first worldwide-reported mutilation case was a mare named Lady found in September 1967, near Alamosa, Colorado, dead and stripped of flesh from the chest up and all the chest organs surgically removed.Lady, a 3-year-old Appaloosa mare, owned by Nellie and Berle Lewis, who had a ranch in the San Luis Valley of southern Colorado near Alamosa. Lady was found September 8, 1967, dead and bloodlessly stripped of flesh from the neck up. All her chest organs had also been “surgically” removed, according to John Altshuler, M. D. who examined the mutilated horse. Lady’s hoof tracks stopped about 100 feet southeast of her body where it looked like she had jumped around in a circle as if trying to escape something. There were no tracks around Lady’s body, but 40 feet south of her was a broken bush. Around the bush was a 3-foot-diameter circle of 6 or 8 holes in the ground about 4 inches across and 3 to 4 inches deep. Photograph taken three weeks after Lady’s death by Don Anderson.

Posted on December 30, 2022 © 2023 by Linda Moulton Howe

Part 2: Hall of Mirrors with A Quicksand Floor

“The brightest, whitest light I’ve ever seen. How can it fly like that? What is it? Oh, I’m scared. How can they be doing that — killing that cow? It’s not even dead! It’s alive!”

– Female abductee at cattle mutilation site, Cimarron, NM, May 1980

Return to Part 1.

But there are other abduction cases involving the mutilation of animals by beings that don’t look like the cat-eyed beings. In fact, what appear to be the Controllers of smaller entities are often tall humanoids, sometimes seen in long, white robes, even with hoods over their heads. Government documents have described smaller beings referred to as “extraterrestrial biological entities,” or EBEs, and another group called the “Talls.” Some people in the human abduction syndrome think the EBEs and the Talls are at war with each other — but not with bullets. The impression is that these E. T.s war through deceptive mind control and manipulation of time lines.

Perhaps deception and time warps are why there is so much confusion in the high strangeness of encounters with Other Intelligences, the variety of non-human physical appearances, and lack of consistent communication by the entities about who they are, where they are from, and why they are on planet Earth lifting people from cars and bedrooms, or animals from backyards and pastures in beams of light.

The following excerpts are from May 1980 hypnosis sessions with a young boy and his mother who saw humanoids mutilating a cow in a Cimarron pasture followed by an abduction of them both. The hypnosis sessions began on May 11, 1980, when Leo Sprinkle, Director of Counseling and Testing at the University of Wyoming, received a phone call from scientist Paul Bennewitz, who was investigating the mother and son abduction for the Aerial Phenomenon Research Organization (APRO).

[olderjodijournals]

Monday, May 2, 2005

It’s May and I’m still cold! Especially at night. Oh, I can’t wait to go to Sacramento!

So far so good with “Pam” next door, even though she does have a dog. It’s a fat, older medium-size dog, but it hasn’t been a problem. At least not yet anyway. We’re dubbing her Pam because she looks like her. When I got a better look at her I could see that she really is about 50 and her hair is all gray. Sure enough, she doesn’t work. Yesterday she had company twice before I got up, but all Tom said he heard was the front door and some hammering. He did hear the dog bark once too, probably at the company. All day today, I never heard a peep out of her or her dog, though I didn’t get up till 2 PM.

Tom enjoyed biking to and from work but says it was rough getting up the hill coming home. He should be used to it in a week or so.

I’m signing up for tons of sweepstakes. I must’ve signed up for over 300 already! All this work better pay off!

Wednesday, May 4, 2005

Tom’s building up to riding his bike to and from work nicely. His legs are rock-hard. It’s a good thing those things don’t turn me on or else I’d be in trouble. I’d be on my own for sure if that were the case. A few people offered to drive him home, including his boss, because it was raining. He turned them down, though, because it was just a little drizzle. It’s good to know that he could get rides if he had to. There’s a guy that lives just up the hill and drives by here all the time.

The new neighbor continues to be quiet, but it’s too soon to say if she’ll stay this way. I wish I were psychic enough to know if it would be quiet here until September of ’06, which is when he thinks we’ll be able to go to California if we save $50 a month and only take $40 a month for ourselves. I’m definitely going to wait and get the mannequin down there. Getting it here would only delay the move and it might break along the way, let alone hog up space in the trailer. We want to get a little U-Haul or something to pull behind the truck.

I hope we only have to suffer through just one more winter here and that it’s a mild one. According to what they’re saying, we came right at the start of summer last year. So, 6 more weeks of shivering. It’s 5-10 degrees warmer in MA, and they don’t get so cold at night like we do.

It was so wonderfully weird discussing the budget/savings plan to move to California. That was only done in my fantasies before, but this time it was for real!

I’m still sweeping away at the sweepstakes. Hopefully, I’ll know in a few months if all this work is going to pay off. I wish they had a program that automatically entered you in all sweepstakes available, and continued to enter you as often as they ran them. Some are daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and of course, some are just a one-time deal. I had to pull a few pranks like I did at the celebrity sightings site. Never did it say anything about penalties for fabricating sightings. It doesn’t reward you for your supposed sighting, but still, I couldn’t resist coming up with a tall tale about my meeting Kate and having a one-nighter with her, so here’s the story:

I was 28 years old in 1995 when I met Kate Jackson, then around 45 years of age herself. I am a lesbian who had just had a fight with her girlfriend one summer evening. I was in tears and so I went to my favorite place to be when feeling down – the beach. There wasn’t much activity on the beach, which was a bit odd for June, though it was also after 10 PM. I sat crying with my face in my hands. Suddenly, a woman asked me if I was alright. I looked up and recognized Kate Jackson right away. I couldn’t believe it at first, but it was her, alright. She was dressed casually in jeans and a T-shirt. I looked around me, expecting her to be in the company of others what with her being a star and all, but she was alone. I guess because she was getting older, she felt more comfortable venturing out alone. I briefly told her what happened and she asked me if I was “just friends” with this woman. I assured her we were more than that. That’s when she said, “Well, maybe a night of fun is all you need. Maybe you just need to come up for a fresh breath of air with no strings attached.” I always suspected Kate was either a lesbian or bisexual, and this night would more than confirm that!

I won’t get into the nitty-gritty details because I don’t know if that’s allowed, so I’ll just say I had quite a night, alright! One I’ll never forget. I was nervous at first, but ended up having a great time. She wined and dined me in a quaint, cozy little cottage on the beach which she said was a friend’s, and then we got rather intimate there for a few hours, mixed in with pleasant chatter and mellow music.

When it was over she told me to forget that place forever. Okay, I told her, but I’ll never forget you, and I never have! I’ve only told a few close people about this night, and one of them doesn’t even believe me, but hey, it really, really, did happen!!! It’s no joke. So you could say I had more than a sighting, but quite an encounter instead!

Thursday, May 5, 2005

We’ve had lots of rain. The apple trees look really cool now with their blossoms.

I was just waking up when I heard a faint bark, followed by a louder bark that probably would’ve woken me up, so once again and even though we rarely hear the dog or the lady over there, we’re on for giving notice on the 1st. More than likely, she opened the door to let it out to do its thing, then it went up to the door when it was done and barked to be let in. It’s clearly an indoor dog, thank God!

Tomorrow we’ll be mailing off a $20 money order for 6 1-oz. bottles of Caramel, Pecan Pie, Jasmine, Hugo Boss, Magnolia and Angel oils. Hopefully, nothing will be out of stock, and putting them in the mail and mailing them to me won’t be such a challenge for them. They should ship by next Friday and I should receive them by the Friday after that, but I’m sure I’m going to have to fight for them. If not the PO will screw up.

Friday, May 6, 2005

This morning at 8:45, I saw and heard the dog barking at the dividing fence. I’m sure it was barking at one of next door’s many passings, if not their cats. The woman softly, yet firmly told it to hush. Then after a few more barks, she said, “Come on, Jelly Belly,” and it turned and ran inside.

I was like, fuck this shit! This dog may not be a problem like the Arizona dogs, but I’m sick of being forced to live with other people’s dogs and kids. They’re not my dogs/kids, so I shouldn’t have to be the one to hear them. That’s why I have none of my own; so I don’t have to hear them. Instead, I’m stuck having to deal with listening to everyone else’s, and it gets old. It really does. I better get used to it, though, because Sacramento’s no doubt going to be quite noisy. The warmth should be worth it, as long as we’re not next to what we had in Phoenix. We checked the satellite map and they appear to have rural places close enough to places he could work. The question is, would we be able to afford to rent something like that? Or would we be forced yet again to live wedged tightly in with others and their damn dogs and kids? The dogs down there are going to be kept outside 24/7 by most dog owners and that’s about 90% of the population.

After I heard the dog and they went back inside, I stomped around for a few minutes, hoping she’ll be like, well, you know, it’s awfully soon for me to start racking up complaints here, so maybe I’ll take the dog out in front.

I’m not only sick of dogs and kids, but I’m also sick of this home-all-the-time bullshit! Why can’t we ever be next to someone who works? And why can’t they come up with some real spyware? The kind that not only lets you see the basic design of a city or neighborhood but also detail, too. That way, if there was a place we were thinking of renting, we could see what the neighbors were up to and get to know things like if they had dogs, kids, and massive amounts of visitors.

So I did what I thought I was supposed to be able to stop doing in ’99, and I rearranged the sound machine to help ensure my sleep. I propped it up so that the sound shoots straight on my pillow, rather than upwards. I’ll never be able to sleep without both the fan and sound machine during the daytime. Never. And if I’m wrong about that, then certainly it’s years away from now.

She seems to be mostly a morning person. That’s when I hear more scattered little bumps and bangs, but nothing unusual for being attached to someone. She did laundry at just after 7:30 this morning but didn’t hang anything out. It would’ve gotten rained on anyway.

She also seems to go to bed around 10:00 on weekdays and 11:30 on weekends, though I don’t know why she’d stay up later on weekends when every day is the weekend for her and every day is the weekday.

I’m a little apprehensive about what weekends may bring, along with Memorial Day, and what company may have to be my company, too.

We got a priority mail package delivered here in the name of Dorothy C. We’ve gotten mail for her before. I thought it was the last person in here, but then when we opened the package, which was mailed from Hawaii, we found a Mother’s Day card from her granddaughter. From what Beverly told me, no one who was in here before us was a grandmother, so we’re assuming it was whoever was in here before the last people. If you don’t know that your grandmother moved over what would be a year ago, then you deserve to have the package you sent her opened by someone else! At first Tom was paranoid about it because priority mail is marked as delivered. After I pointed out that the PO’s not going to kick down the door and demand to search the place for it, and that all he had to do if asked was say he brought it to the PO since the box was too big for a mailbox and since the PO doesn’t have cameras like banks to prove/disprove someone was there, we opened it and found souvenirs along with the card. The first thing we pulled out was a boring canvas with individual pockets for mail, bills and coupons. The second thing was a pair of wooden magnet sandals which was kind of cute, so we kept those. I didn’t expect anything too exciting for free, but they’re cool.

Tom thinks that out of every 500-600 sweepstakes entries, be it one-time entries or daily entries, I should hit something. We’ll soon see. If I don’t hit anything in 3-6 months, then I’m not going to bother doing all this work for nothing. For now, I have a sweepstakes system where I do all the daily sweeps until they expire, then I check out the new ones for the previous day. They don’t all come out at once. They come out throughout the day, so that’s why I wait until the next day. At midnight I’ll check yesterday’s sweeps after I do the daily ones. I wish there was a program that would sign me up for every sweepstake out there that I’m eligible for, and as often as each one allows entries.

I decided not to bother saving/spending $40 a month. I just want to get out of this duplex and then out of this state! Until then, I’ll mostly just get oils. Smells are my #1 thing right now anyway, and I’m now plenty used to not getting much in the way of dolls other than an occasional Barbie which would only take up more room when we pack to move.

Sunday, May 8, 2005

Tomorrow would be the earliest I could hear from Marilyn if she got my letter, and if she turned around and wrote back the instant she got it. Somehow I doubt I’ll be hearing from her. Not because she got the letter and decided not to respond, but because she didn’t get it in the first place. Oh well. I tried.

Tom used a large duffel bag to stuff our laundry in and rode his bike to a Laundromat he’s never used before which he said was very nice. He was only gone for 1½ hours. He’ll have to make two trips a week, though, just like with groceries. Once we get moved, we’ll get a washer for sure.

I haven’t heard the dog since the other day. When Tom gets up I’ll ask him how things were with it being a Saturday. I crashed at 11 AM, so I wasn’t around for the most part.

I’ve had severe bloating lately and I can’t figure out why. Most days I’m not overeating, though I could still afford to cut down greatly, and I’m just about over my period. I guess it’s just fat.

Monday, May 9, 2005

Yesterday we walked to a Laundromat we’d never been to before which is right by Fred Meyer. It was a long walk. About a half-hour each way. I felt a little strain in my left hip and a lot of strain in my left ankle. In fact, my ankle is still killing me. At first I thought it was age because I used to walk to school in Longmeadow, and of course Valleyhead made us go on walks, and I was fine. But then I realized that Tom has no problem and he’s 8½ years older. He says it’s just a case of me using muscles I don’t normally use. I guess that’s why variety in exercise is so important. He went through this when he first started riding his bike, but now his muscles are getting used to it.

It drizzled on us all the way and was even cold at times despite the heavy jacket and gloves I wore. I was like, what’s wrong with this picture? What’s wrong with it is that it’s May and I’m still fucking cold! I can’t wait to get out of this state. Especially since there’s snow on the ground right now! Snow in May? That is so fucked up! Nonetheless, it was good walking weather, and the blooming flowers and cherry and apple trees were pretty to see. They seem to really like tulips and daffodils here. Meanwhile, it’s been pouring since I got up 3 hours ago. I’m glad it never rained hard on us.

Tom had to wait a little while for a washer, but it only ran for 32 minutes, so it wasn’t too bad. We never bothered to dry the clothes. Instead, I hung them around here when we got back.

While he was washing the clothes, I got a few things we needed at Fred’s, including the other doll in the My Scene series I wanted which was on sale for $10. This one’s Barbie and she’s wearing purple. She came with a spare outfit which is just about the nicest Barbie-n-friends outfit I’ve got. It’s in the top 5 anyway. The dress she has on is a purple satin dress that goes over one shoulder and has an angled hem. It’s sheer at the waist too, making it look like two pieces from a distance. Her spare outfit is a pink metallic top and a black skirt with zigzag stripes of pink glitter. Her shimmering black shawl makes a great halter for the Tonners.

Anyway, I’m glad I did the walk, as sore as I am. It was fun and it was good to get out and get exercise and fresh air.

On the way back we stopped at a convenience store for snacks and he got a lottery ticket that won $7.

The lady next door not only didn’t have company over the weekend but she was gone for most of it. Can’t complain about that!

I’ve been having a lot of nights where I only sleep for 6 hours. As long as I don’t get too tired, I’d love to be able to sleep for only 6 hours. It’d help me maintain a schedule tremendously.

Although we are going to keep our eyes open in case there’s a hell of a deal that may come along, we’re thinking we may just stay here till we can get out of this damn state, and hope for the best along the way. That would mean the neighbors staying put and not being replaced with nightmares, or becoming nightmares themselves. Meanwhile, we’re not locked into a lease, so if it gets bad here, we’ll split, even if it sets us back a bit. I’ve lived enough places in my life that were a nightmare, so I won’t put up with any shit here. I just hope I won’t have to and that we can go straight to rural Sacramento from here, skip the motels, etc. That may be asking for too much, but if we can at least stay here till we leave the state, then that’d be one last move to have to make along the way. I just wish I had more singing privacy and could blast my speakers. Oh well. I can make do as I have been for another year or a little more. I just hope it doesn’t end up taking us a few years to get out of here. We still have to deal with my teeth either way, and his shit of a mom isn’t going to drop dead anytime soon. She won’t go till we’re settled in California and not as bad off as we are today. My vibes still say she’ll be 86-87, and she won’t even hit 82 till August.

Time to go do my daily sweeping!

Later…

The Phoenix and Tempe letters to Marilyn have been returned as “undeliverable as addressed.” What? Does this site print wrong addresses or something? The Scottsdale one is still out there, so I’ll just hope she got that one, though I highly doubt she did. Same with the sick black bitch. Yeah, I found her. I finally found her. That’s real fucking bold to allow your address to be listed after you got someone thrown in jail. That’s wanting to be killed for it! I doubt she had the brains to think of that, though. If anything she was hoping I’d start up with the journals again so she could get me thrown in jail a second time. But still, could you bait yourself like that after doing what you did? I couldn’t. I’d be too scared to and I don’t usually scare too easily.

Anyway, I sent a quick note to 3 different addresses, one being in Surprise, compliments of the user in Florida. I used some of those postage-paid envelopes I was supposed to send to her friend. At least this time around, associating with her paid off, but just the fact that she hasn’t written and won’t even do me the favor of connecting Hope and me after all I’ve done for her goes to show how truly selfish she is, like most people in this world, or so it seems.

The note was brief and meant as a little scare-tactic, even though I knew it’d be short-lived since I couldn’t possibly have the blessing of doing what I said I was going to do, and that was to sue her and her cop friend for setting me up. Just for her to know I hadn’t forgotten her and knew where she was (assuming any of these addresses were current) was what I was out for. Besides, I promised myself I wouldn’t let what they did scare me from exercising my right to free speech, and that’s exactly what I did. No threats, no racial slurs, just my constitutional right to speak my mind. Meanwhile, if the black pig wants to put time, money and effort into hunting my ass down through Tom’s social security number or his family, I’m ready for him. Yes, this time I’m ready for him, and in the end, I can promise just about anyone that he’ll end up saying, “You know, I am so sorry I ever bothered to find that girl!” if he ever does have the balls to find me. It’ll depend on how suicidal he is. Some people have death wishes, that’s for sure, because cop or no cop, finding me would be a definite death sentence for this mother-fucker. He’d have to make something up, though, because after learning all I have about the laws, thanks to them, nothing I did could possibly call for grounds to come after me. I even handled the letters and envelopes with gloves and used tap water to seal the envelopes, so if they came after me, it’d only be because they hate white Jews as much as I hate blacks.

In the end, I know God made sure none of those letters got to her because they would shake her up, and we know how God not only loves blacks these days but also loves to protect anyone who’s fucked me over, so I’m sure she never got any of them. If I’d been dumb enough to write something they could get me on, then yes, He’d make sure she got one of them then. But if all it could do is piss her off or get her all worried, then no. Her feelings are much too important as opposed to my welfare. Oh, and of course I wrote no return address, so if they ever noticed the Oregon postmark if they got any of them, who knows?

Did I tell Tom? No way! I secretly mailed them from the next block that has an outgoing slot on their boxes. Well, I started to, but then I ran into the mailman as he was doing our own box and he took them from there. I’d never tell him even a decade from now, that’s how paranoid he is. If he knew about it now, he’d still be paranoid they were going to come after me when he was 80. I’m paranoid, too. I mean, these were very determined and obsessive people after all. But life must go on and we must live our lives as we see fit. We can’t let sickos like this scare us and bully us out of taking a stand for ourselves and doing what’s right. I believed firmly that I was doing the right thing by contacting the Arizona Republic and the sicko, and so I did. I don’t know if my email was read any more than if my letters got to the sick bitch, but I did what I felt was best and now I can move on a little easier. Not as easy as I could if they were either made to pay for wronging me or killed, but at least a little easier.

Starting late in my day yesterday, my ankle got better, but both hips have been on fire ever since. I still don’t see how I can get this sore just from walking. Had I walked 20 miles, or run, or gone by bike, then yes, I should be sore.

I see so many pros and cons of staying versus renting a house. I know we’d be taking a gamble either way because we can’t know for sure that it’ll stay quiet here until we can get out of this damn state, nor do we know if it’ll be quiet in a house. Or stay that way if it at least starts off quiet. Although we’re unsure of what’s going to happen, and although my vibes say we’re not giving notice on the 1st, I know there’s a slight chance I could be wrong, so I guess I’ll do a pros/cons list. Sometimes it helps to see them written out, though I know that can still be deceptive if you have a few small pros versus one huge con.

The pros of staying are spacious rooms, good neighborhood, good neighbors (for now), close to stores, each room has its own heater, good shower/toilet pressure, would save money by not moving unless he could find someone reliable or we moved close enough to here to chance taking the truck, bedroom is blocked from street, busy street, garage. That’s a total of 10 pros.

The cons of staying are wet/moldy windows, electric heat, far from work, connected to next door which calls for banging/music, the dog next door, neighboring duplex too close, next door’s doors, expensive, no vent in the bathroom, no self-cleaning oven or self-defrosting fridge, no dishwasher, can’t send/receive mail at the door, no singing privacy, can’t blast speakers. That’s 14 cons.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

I was all set to give next door a stamp of approval, and maybe even consider her better than Bev until a little while ago.

Then yesterday I saw the dog out back at just after 6 AM, but it didn’t bark. Then I decided in the afternoon when I saw her in the yard doing what appeared to be picking up dog shit, to take the direct approach rather than stage an accidental meeting. So I went out saying that I thought it was time I met the new neighbor, and introduced myself. Her name’s Patty and she is on disability. She said her dog, Freckles, who ran up to me barking, yet was friendly, is a service dog that is 13 years old. I told her that if she and her dog are as quiet as they have been, then I hope they’re here as long as we are. She said we were so quiet ourselves and seemed grateful for it, and that she too, uses headphones. She has a housekeeper come out once a week to clean for her and the state pays for it. In fact, that’s who she thought I was at first because she says we sound the same.

She’s lived in Ohio and southern California, but that was many years ago. I told her where we’re from and that we’re saving to move to California. She also says it’s usually warmer by now, but that they’ve had snow in June and July here.

I still can’t believe they allow those on disability to have dogs, vans and cars like she and Bev have, but she said Freckles is a service dog that she’s had ever since she was a baby. We only spoke for a few minutes cuz all I wanted to do was settle my curiosity, though she never did say how long she planned on staying and I didn’t want to pry or give her the idea that I’d be her buddy. She did say to let her know if we needed anything and I said she could do the same. So I thought, yeah, she’s cool, and hopefully Freckles will stay cool, too. She didn’t give me any wild or partying vibes. She’s not as high-strung and doesn’t seem like the type to be a company freak, so I thought that just maybe we were finally being compensated for past assholes we were stuck with, though I still can’t wait for a house in California!

Then, just after 8:00 this morning, I heard more than the usual scattered and subtle bumps and bangs from over there. I could hear the dog barking, but through the walls, it was pretty muffled to the point where it was no big deal. Still, this told me something was going on over there. At first I thought oh no, Bev’s grandkids are back! But when I pressed my ear to the wall, I could hear another adult woman chatting with her. There was no other vehicle parked in the driveway from what I could see unless it was hidden by Patty’s van, so the person was either picked up by Patty or they walked over. She didn’t come alone, though. She came over with a huge black lab much like the one an associate of Bev’s had! They were both barking at the back door to be let in. I don’t know if they heard me yell “Hey!” over the racket, but so much for thinking she may be a better neighbor. Barking dogs would be just as bad as Bev’s grandanimals shaking the place apart. I just never get to live in peace no matter where I go, and I never will, though today’s got me contemplating giving notice once again. It’s just that that could be taking a worse gamble than staying here would be, to say nothing of how it may set us back financially. Besides, I know Tom would prefer to stay here. I’m hesitant to move too, but apartments, duplexes, they’re just too bangy. I didn’t come here to play roommates, which in a sense, is exactly what we are.

I just wish she’d wait for the damn dog at the door. It’s when it comes up to the door to find no one there to let it in that it goes off barking. I’m so sick of being tortured by other people’s dogs and kids! If it’s not one, it’s the other. It never fucking ends. Never. Now the pressure to stay on days is on. The barking really echoes loudly within the confines of the patios. I swear people shouldn’t be allowed dogs unless their nearest neighbor’s at least a half-mile away! They’re just too damn loud.

Anyway, I don’t know who this is. I don’t know if it’s the housekeeper, a friend, a relative, or what. I just hope to hell they’re not staying for a few days! I’m sure they’ll be there for at least most of the day. Therefore, I’ve got the stereo going in the bedroom. It’s not blasting, but it’s going to be if I hear any more barking.

I heard whoever it was go out back with a wind chime and then call out, “I found one” (probably Bev’s old hook).

I hope to hell this person doesn’t come around regularly, because if they’ve brought the dog this time, then they always will. What kind of housekeeper would bring their dog, though? Not this one, I hope! Because if this is the housekeeper, then that means I’ve got to deal with it once a week and even that would be way too much.

I’m just so sick of going through this shit. So fucking sick of it! I don’t make neighbors a part of my noise, so I really wish they wouldn’t make me a part of theirs. As the pizza lady said, though, people just don’t care. They’re going to do whatever it is they’re going to do and to hell with whoever has to deal with it. God, I wish I could stay on days! I’d still have to put up with the noise distracting and annoying me, but it couldn’t wake me up. Not as long as it wasn’t a round-the-clock thing. At least she has a schedule. She seems to sleep from around 10 PM-6 AM, so at least I know that those hours are likely to be peaceful. The afternoons and evenings seem to be pretty quiet, too. She’s definitely a morning person. I wonder if I’ll be early to bed and early to rise when I get old. I doubt it. I mean, I just can’t imagine myself doing that every single day. Being without a schedule is just so much a part of who I am.

If there’s any good news it’s that my oils have been shipped. I can’t wait to try them! They apparently got the money order yesterday, as we figured they would. I could get the oils on Saturday, but more than likely on Monday. This site, unlike Bob’s, has an order status feature that actually works and it was cool to see it go from “on hold pending payment,” to, “in production, will ship soon,” to, “shipping today.” They sent me emails when each thing happened, too.

Later…

Here’s a happy update. After an hour of going bump, bang and bark, though not consistently, there was a knock at the back door just after I finished vacuuming. As soon as I opened it, Patty said she was so, so sorry, and explained that her housekeeper brought her dog over to see if it would get along with hers. Why the hell she’d care if it did or not, beats me, but anyway, she said her housekeeper won’t be bringing it around again and that she told her, “My neighbor just got done telling me how quiet I am which makes me feel all the worse. I don’t want trouble with neighbors.” So I told her it was no big deal and that I really appreciated her letting me know what was up, cuz I was wondering. I just hope there aren’t regular outbursts from over there! For now, though, she’s back to being cool (I think). A part of me still wishes Bev were here. Her animals only came around occasionally, but this dog is always here.

We only spoke for a few minutes and I thanked her again for filling me in and said to let her know if I get noisy myself. She said, “Oh, don’t worry, sweetie. You’re as quiet as a mouse.” I get the impression she doesn’t want us to give notice till we leave the state, which is good if that’s the case, cuz then she’ll be more considerate. I don’t want to gamble on an Oregon house for the same reasons Tom doesn’t, as much as I didn’t come here to play house-sharing.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Although it took us until nearly mid-May to hit the 70s, that’s just what the weather report says we’re going to do tomorrow. Finally! And of course, I have mixed emotions about it. It’ll feel better and do our electric bill a world of good, but a part of me wishes it was cold and snowy so people wouldn’t be as likely to hang outside. So far, mom and daughter next door haven’t been as bad as I thought they’d be, but it’s not summer yet, so we’ll see. I don’t know about next door, but my vibes say mom and daughter will be here till we move. That’s both good and bad, I guess. I mean, they have no rowdy kids/dogs, but I still have to deal with their doors. I guess I just gotta deal with something no matter where I am. I just don’t understand God’s obsession with me having to live with people. And so damn many of them, too. Having an average of 3 roommates for the two years I was at Valleyhead should’ve been enough of a sign telling me that that’s what I’d be in for, for the most part, though back then I slept just fine with all the shit they had me doped up on. It was getting up in the mornings that was hard.

Anyway, the only thing I heard from her yesterday after the outburst from the dogs was her washer/dryer. She must’ve been drying something heavy because I could hear it clunking away.

Today I noticed before 6 AM that her van wasn’t there and thought – great! No morning banging. But then I saw a dark blue pickup and heard her talking to someone in the utility area, along with some bangs. About an hour later the truck left. I’m guessing she parked in the garage to make room for it, though she could’ve slipped out, came back in the pickup, then left in the pickup, planning to take her van back.

I like being on nights as much as I like being on days. Days keep me from being woken up, but nights are so peaceful around here. Even more so than Maricopa was.

Monday, May 16, 2005

If every day could be like yesterday for as long as we’re stuck here, then it wouldn’t be so bad. It’d take a lot of stress off of me. Patty was quiet all weekend, save for 1 backyard bark and some in front while she was cleaning her van, which she’s parking in her garage more often. I’d rather 100 barks in front than 1 in back because of how the bedroom’s in back where I spend most of my time.

It was dark and rainy all day yesterday. Not even a peep out of next door was heard. We’ve been having a lot of rain and clouds. The kinds the locals hate.

If you asked who I think is better, Bev or Patty, I’d agree with Tom and say they’re about equal. It’s the fucking dog that keeps Patty from winning over Bev. Patty’s definitely more of a weekday/morning person. There were visitors, banging and barking this morning. A dark blue pickup, which I saw last Friday along with a maroon one, was here for about an hour. I don’t know if it was a friend, a nurse, the housekeeper or what, but I wish she’d quit leaving the dog unattended in back when she has company. Normally, she stays by the door and is ready to let it in before it gets the chance to bark at the door, but when she has company, she gets distracted. It was only a couple of barks which I wouldn’t mind at all if I were always on days, but I’m not. I’m going to have to live with other people’s dogs for as long as I live, so I better get used to it. The banging wasn’t anything like the kids, so that’s good, but still, I want to bust us out of here like YESTERDAY! I know Sacramento will be just as noisy, if not noisier, but it’ll be warmer!

What I don’t get is why she would knock on the door to apologize for the barking, just to be allowing it to happen over again a few days later. Gee, what a hypocrite!

We walked up to the grocery store on Saturday. We also checked out a couple of video stores to see if they had season two of Charlie’s Angels, but they didn’t. I guess we’ll have Walmart order it for us. The less we have to get by mail, the better.

We also stopped in a store that sells tons of beads and fragrance oils, along with Indian and hunting-related stuff. This red fox fur they had for $75 was way nice. I especially liked the tail.

The best news of all is that I got the oils on Saturday! Bob’s never been that fast. The 6 trial scents have yielded 2 fantastics, 3 so-so’s, and 1 bust. The Hugo Boss and Magnolia are nothing like Bob’s. The Angel is, but it’s like the newer one. The Caramel’s just ok, but the Pecan Pie and Jasmine are fabulous! So the plan is to get the Charlie’s Angels DVDs next month, then more oils a couple of months after that.

We also “shook up the earthquake” in my book yesterday and made it more intense, but when we’ll ever get it submitted, I don’t know. I still get the feeling he’s stalling for time.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Again with the morning company and barking. The dog only barked once, but once is all it takes to wake me up, depending on how deep of a sleep I’m in and what ear I’m laying on, so rather than struggle to stay on days, I think I’ll use earplugs when I’m sleeping during the daytime.

The company stayed for an hour, maybe a little more. And I was just about to praise her for not having much company, but just like Bev, she seems to have it a few times a week. As long as 6 little kids don’t go stomping around over there, we’ll be ok.

I’m getting pretty convinced that Mary’s lack of letters is because she can’t get anything out of me, so I’m going to stop the letters permanently unless I hear from her.

A couple came and mowed us down. I was wondering when they were going to mow. The grass was getting pretty tall.

We’ve revised our moving plans again. Neither of us wants to live with Patty, Freckles and next door, no matter how quiet they may be overall, for another 16 months, so we’re going to give notice in either September or October. Our first goal is to try to bust out of this state this year, which would mean we’d leave here at the 1-year marker of moving into this duplex. If it doesn’t look like we can get out this year, and I have my doubts, we’ll move into a house around here a month earlier. The reason we don’t want to move now is that the rates are cheaper in the winter. Plus, we want to save money to get out of having to have a lease. Money makes them go away, and in that case, we wouldn’t be losing any because we’d get the deposit back. We think we can have a grand saved up by then, which would be enough for a deposit, on top of first/last month.

For me, desperation or rage is often the key to my success with things like weight loss. However, as an adult who doesn’t care what others think, I’ve had a hard time motivating myself to lose weight, as opposed to when I was a child with a mother taunting me all the time. Well, while the desire to get out of here may not be as bad as it was in the NHA, PHX or jail, it’s high enough. Therefore, it should motivate me to save money by getting very little food, which should drop me some weight. I’m even determined to save money by toughing my teeth out and putting off the fillings as long as I can. In fact, I’d like to tough it out till I lose the damn teeth. I’m sick of the cavity game. So much so that I’m dead serious about wanting to lose my molars, which is where I mainly get cavities.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

No barking today, but that may be because she had no company. Meanwhile, if the housekeeper is a weekly thing, she’ll come by tomorrow and bang around while the dog barks outside. I’m trying to keep on days at least throughout Memorial Day. That and Labor Day are the only major holidays we should have left here, and of course, I don’t know when Patty’s birthday is. She could have a party here if her birthday is between now and when we leave. As much as I’d hate to stay an extra month, I wish we could be here for a full year and go straight to California, rather than leave at the 11-month marker and get a house downtown, which is probably the only place we’ll find one since that’s where all the dumps no one wants are. Even if the yard’s flanked by dogs and screaming kids, they at least won’t be able to get this close. I hope not anyway!

I let Tom know that this is it, too. Meaning, I’m not going to keep bumping up our moving dates. We’re out of here come either October or November. Period. I’m not looking forward to another 130-160 days here, but it’s better than forever.

I also let Tom know that I refuse to ever be attached to anyone again, other than in motels! Not even God can keep dragging me back to live with others once we’re out of here. We’re going to hopefully get a place in the heart of Sacramento for two months while we get to know the area, then get a place once we pick out a location. I’m not going to get to know Sacramento in a duplex or an apartment, because I know better. I know that first and last month will turn into a few months, which will turn into a few more, etc.

The cost of living is much higher down there, so we have to make sure we leave with enough money, no matter what he may be collecting from unemployment.

Tom’s finally gotten me to see that yes, we really can move in the truck without having to spend an additional grand on a trailer. This is because we’re going to sell or dump most of our stuff and mainly take the computers, dolls, clothes and hygienic items. We’ll only take a couple of mugs, cups and plates. Not a zillion of each. We can get new things little by little down there. We can downsize our wardrobes and much more. One box fan and one portable heater are enough. We don’t need 3 of each which is exactly what we have right now. One of the large rat cages can go, too.

I gotta bounce to Kate’s DVDs since bouncing to music is boring me lately. It’s discouraging to know you can never lose weight unless you eat so little you feel like you’re starving. That’s just what I’m going to do, though, whether it makes me lose weight or not because I’m bound and determined to get out of here. It may not be to California, but I ain’t staying longer than the 1-year marker in this place. So, whenever I get hungry, I’ll think of Freckles and the banging, even if the banging’s not nearly as bad as the animals were. I doubt I’ll lose weight in the process. I never do. I haven’t lost more than a few pounds in years and all I do is put it right back on when I do. At least it’s been stable.

Here’s a real pisser. Arizona’s now giving free medical to Mexicans. Meanwhile, nothing’s free for us. No, we have to work our asses off and pay for insurance and some of us still can’t get insured even then! Why don’t they just make Arizona a part of Mexico? It is Mexico! Then they go bragging that they just elected the first Hispanic mayor in many years. Why can’t they just elect the damn cock and leave it at that? I’m sick of their reverse-discriminating bullshit! They ought to shut their traps and get over it! All the Americans do is give, give, give, and all the Mexicans do is take, take, take! What’s wrong with this picture? The world’s fucked up!

I “swept” for 6 hours! If all this work doesn’t pay off in a few months, even I’ll be surprised, and I’m as pessimistic as you can get!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Last night was when I learned that Patty can be just as hypocritical as Bev was. The dog went on a barking fit at 7:30. It was only for a minute, but it was highly annoying and distracting since I was on a roll with my writing. This morning, however, wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be. I saw the dog, but it didn’t bark. She had that maroon pickup there, as well as a dark blue car I’ve never seen before. As usual, the company was gone and all was quiet by 11:00. They didn’t bang around too much.

The dog seems to be let out an average of 3 times a day, though not on any particular schedule. Perhaps we’ll get a dog in Sacramento. I figure that if I’m going to have to listen to barking, it might as well be our own.

The day we give notice will be the last day I’ll worry about keeping my music for my ears only.

The good news is that I don’t “see” a house here any more than I ever saw a washer, which Tom now says he doesn’t want to get, because he wants to exercise on the weekends, too. As he said, he doesn’t want to struggle on Mondays because he lazed out over the weekends. I still don’t see how we can bust out of this state this year, but if I’m right, then something’s got to break. His computer programs won’t be ready this year, I couldn’t make shit off my book if it got accepted, so that leaves the sweepstakes or a lottery ticket, for sadly the queen ain’t going belly-up for 4-5 more years. That’ll mean about 15 years of being her perfect daughter’s daughter – hee, hee! I think if Miss Perfect could ever have anticipated her hanging on this long, she’d have had second thoughts about taking the selfish bitch in for sure.

I forgot to mention getting a letter from Paula last week. She’s going through one Puerto Rican loser after another, as usual. She said I was nice to her and that I could send her whatever incense I wanted to send her and that she may send money after her birthday for me to get her some. I’m sending some along with a couple of CDs for her birthday, then if she sends money, I’ll have Tom grab some from Jan. She’s not too far off his bike route.

Friday, May 20, 2005

I haven’t heard any outside barking for a couple of days now, though I’ve seen the dog. We decided that if the dog becomes an issue, though we doubt it will, we’ll kill it. A poisoned piece of meat tossed out in the middle of the night should do the trick.

A gray SUV visited yesterday and that blue car was back again today.

With the exception of when Bev had the animals over, I don’t know if I can say this one is better than she was. She has the dog, she has company nearly every day, and she’s constantly out back, even if it’s mostly just to let the dog in and out. Before bed, she turns the patio light on for a while too, as she lets the dog do its last shit of the day.

Of all the rodents I’ve ever had, none have been as clingy as this rat is. It’s a good thing he can’t scream like a guinea pig because he’d never shut up.

I’m now quite convinced that yes, Mary only responded to my letter so she could try to use me to connect her and her dumb boyfriend, and that no, I’m not going to hear from her again. She probably figures that now is a good time to give me what I gave her for 8 months which is silence. Only she’ll probably remain forever silent. No prob. All she does is use people, so it’s okay.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Tom and I took our walk up to the grocery store, then came back and were playing with the rat when I noticed the webs and spider mites on the big palm that’s been slowly dying ever since I got it, so Tom put it in the garage.

Although the ground flowers are still in bloom all over the place, the cherry and apple blossoms are withering away.

I had yet another great story idea, but I’ve been so busy sweeping that I don’t know when I’ll get back to my writing. I’ve been making zillions of entries on the unlimited-entry contests I’d like to win. One’s for an iPod, two are certificates for clothing/accessory stores, one’s for an indoor cactus arrangement, and another’s for a DJ machine we can sell if we win.

Anyway, the story idea is to have some chick get in trouble for some petty crime in a place where they’re doing this “new experiment” which is to place inmates in the homes of cops, guards, POs, etc., rather than jails. The chick will have to wear an electronic anklet whenever the cop she’s been placed with isn’t home. I figured the chick and cop could fight for a while before they eventually fall in love. Tom said my characters fall in love too quickly anyway, so I’ll slow it down with some conflict beforehand.

Patty took off with some chick in a dark gray van. I think they even took the dog with them, which is customary here. Everyone takes their dogs out with them. I’m surprised they don’t take them to work!

Monday, May 23, 2005

We’ve been hitting the 70s lately. For the last few days, the heater’s been off in the bedroom for half the day. It got up to 79º in here. The warmer weather’s stirring up mom and daughter a little bit, but not nearly as much as I thought it would.

As usual, Patty was quiet over the weekend, but today she had her usual slew of weekday company which meant that the dog had to go outside and on a 20-second barking spree. I saw the driver of the maroon pickup. It’s a young fat chick that looks like it could be Patty’s daughter, though she never did mention having family. If she does, I’m sure I’ll be forced to meet them on Memorial Day.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

I read that a bunch of bigots filed a lawsuit against a school whose sex-ed department not only showed a film of a woman using a cucumber to demonstrate the proper way to put on a rubber, but that taught that gayness is a biological trait, which is true, and demanded that they teach students that same-sex attractions can be “overcome.”

That’s quite a world we live in when you can sue someone for teaching acceptance and tolerance and make them teach bigotry instead and stuff that’s simply not true. One can’t “overcome” gayness or straightness anymore than one could overcome their heights and I wonder how many more years it’s going to take this world to realize that. If I could quit being attracted to women at will, then a straight woman could quit being attracted to men at the snap of her fingers, too. When that happens, then I’ll believe we aren’t born one way or the other and that it’s a choice or a learned trait.

We’re in the process of figuring out how to convert all the little files a DVD makes to one big file so I can store as many Charlie’s Angels episodes as there’s room for on my hard drive.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

It’s to be in the 80s today. Next door’s already sitting outside gabbing. If this were Arizona they’d be in front! Nah, God would make them an exception and send them in back with me. This is what I figured they’d do once it warmed up. At least it’s just talking. There’s no music, banging or screaming, though I’m sure they’ll be there all day. They’re not always right outside, but right by their open doors and windows. Unfortunately, their bedroom and bath aren’t in back. Their kitchen and living room are. They’re lucky next door’s not empty or else they’d have gotten bassed to hell a little while ago. I’m sure they heard me singing, but oh well. Speaking of bass, the warmth is enhancing the stereos now that people are driving with their windows down. These things have two speakers. The one inside for those inside the car, and the one in the truck that’s meant to annoy anyone they drive by. I still can’t believe there are people out there so desperate for attention that they’d spend hundreds of dollars on a stereo like that, but that’s just our competitive and pushy society for you.

I’m so sick of this home-all-the-time trend I’ve been living with since ’93! But when you live where everyone’s either retired or disabled, that’s what you get. I just hope it rains like hell on Memorial Day! It just may do that too, according to the weather site, and it may also drop down to the upper 50s. That wouldn’t necessarily stop them from partying as opposed to it being cold and snowy, but we’ll see.

I wish we’d skipped Maricopa and Oregon altogether and just gone straight from Phoenix to California. I just didn’t think we could afford to live in areas of the state that weren’t so crowded. If we’d gone straight there, then I probably would’ve gotten out of having to go to jail and I definitely would’ve gotten out of having to play motel so much and now be stuck crammed in here with these people, old and white or not. I’m sure, though, that God had a hand in guiding us in the wrong direction just so I would have to be stuck living with so many damn people along the way. There’s just no escaping them! I’m never going to get to live in peace and seclusion. I guess Tom and I wouldn’t have spent so many years in cities if we weren’t meant to be in them. At least we can walk to stores and things like that.

Later…

The dog was just barking frantically at next door and their cat. They’re going to live out there till the fall! Anyway, I appreciated how she came and coaxed the dog away as soon as it went off, but still, can’t she leash it down by her door if she’s going to have it out there for more than a few minutes?

When I again mentioned poisoning it to Tom, I just got the runaround, but I’m not surprised. I knew he’d never do it. I just hate it when he agrees to things he knows he won’t do!

They’re talking about overtime where he works, but if he’ll really get any, who knows? That sure would be nice and we sure could use the extra money. Because of that, I have my doubts. It seems that the less you need money, the more it’s available. They’re hiring now, too. Especially since the husband-stabber is going to prison for drugs, and someone else is going to do time, too.

It’s over 85º in here. Quite like Arizona! I love it. I missed the heat more than I realized. It’s nice not having to wear socks or gloves. No more frozen hands or nose tips. No having to sleep with shirts on either. In another week or two, we should be able to turn the heaters off till late September. That’ll save us big time. The heat may not come on tonight at least in the bedroom as it is, and if it does, it shouldn’t be till close to dawn. Being in a real building really helps as I know that if I were in that RV right now, it’d be freezing not long after dark.

I went from 130 pounds to 126, but that’s no surprise. That much is easy. I realize, though, that what was tripping me up in the past was that I was replacing what I’d lose over the week on the weekends. It takes me a week to lose a few pounds, but it only takes a day or two to put them back on. Well, I was pretty much just going around in circles. I still don’t think I’ll lose a significant amount of weight, but I’ll definitely make sure I limit my weekend treats. Especially since getting carried away only makes it hard to jump back on track anyway.

The tree blossoms have withered away, but along part of the back wall of the place are these big bright orange-red flowers. They’re quite lovely.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Just as I was thinking we ought to kill next door’s cat since that seems to be what mostly stirs up the dog and since it’d be easier to kill a cat than a 45-pound dog, I hear her come out and make her cat calls. She’s also taken to leaving her door open around this time too, so I said to myself, ok, lady, now it’s time to hear me. And the timing was perfect too, because Patty was leaving. So I cranked up the tunes, and sure enough, she closed the door. Yeah, it sucks to be annoyed by neighbors, doesn’t it, Crystal? Oh well. At least they’re still quite tame compared to past neighbors. Still, it was funny to have annoyed her for a change. Why would you want to open doors in the first place and let all the bugs inside? What’s wrong with the windows? Anyway, I won’t annoy anyone too often till we’ve officially given notice. They complain here, and while it may not get us evicted (it didn’t get the last people in here evicted), it could hinder us from renting elsewhere, so I won’t overdo it.

It’s to be around 80º today, 90º in Sacramento and 100º in Maricopa. At least for once, we’ve got the best temp of them all. 80º is perfect. I don’t think my heater went on at all late last night or early in the morning. After all, I got it up to 85º in here by 7:50 when the sun drops down behind next door’s roof.

I have the back and front doors open, but the screens are latched. I’m not afraid to take on any would-be intruders, not that that’s likely in a place like this, but I wouldn’t want them sneaking up on me before I had a chance to do anything about it, but you have to be really, really asking for it to go breaking into people’s houses on such a busy street like this. Some do want to go to jail, though, not that God would allow anyone that messed with us to pay for it since He would only protect their identity, but still, there are some sickos who will stop at nothing.

Later…

This weekend, we’re submitting No Escape. Right now I’m working on Traces of Hope. I’m on a roll with it, though it won’t be very long or as good as No Escape.

It’s still pretty warm, and not surprisingly, next door’s outside gabbing, even though it’s dark now. Fortunately, I can’t hear their chatter in the bedroom with either music playing or the fan on low. Tomorrow I’m going to drown them out with something from the get-go. I know they’ll be outside all the time now, so why wait for them to distract me and interrupt my train of thought while I’m working on my stories or sweeping? In August they’ll probably be out at night only, so I kind of wish we could jump up to that month. We’d not only be a couple of months closer to moving, but as uncomfortable as it may be in August, it may drive them inside more. Then again, maybe not. Heat doesn’t seem to drive people indoors the way cold does. Oh well. In just 4-5 months they’ll be just a memory (I hope), then we can deal with whatever noise we may move next to. At least it couldn’t get this close to us, whatever it is! And I thought the freeloaders were so close! I still don’t see how we could move this fall, even though I still don’t see a house here in Oregon either. Maybe the old white house with dark trim by train tracks that I saw a while back is really down in Sacramento.

Another reason I don’t see us moving this fall is because of what he just found out about unemployment. Each quarter, he’d receive more money. Right now, if they laid him off he’d get $98 a week. Fortunately, they like him at work because that ain’t shit. In August he’d get a little over $100. In October he’d get a little under $200. But come fall of next year he’d get more than he’s taking home now which is barely a grand a month.

According to what I read online, many places are putting bans on these outrageous car stereos we’ve been cursed with for the last 12 years, but they really aren’t doing any good because noise violations aren’t easy to enforce. What they need to do is stop selling the damn things in the first place and make them illegal to have, but that’s just our stupid society for you. All they have to do to really curb the problem is ban the damn things.

By 4:00 this afternoon, I realized it would get well into the 90s in here if I didn’t shut the blinds and drop the blanket I’m using as a drape. It’s still pretty warm in here in the mid-80s. It’s to be in the mid-80s tomorrow, a little warmer than today, so I may not open anything. At least not the blinds. I’d say the heater is definitely not coming on tonight! I missed the summer and I love the money it’s saving. I just wish next door would hang in front like they do in Arizona!

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Yesterday was cloudy but gorgeous. I saw Patty. She was pulling out as I was pulling the dumpster in. She waved to me. 

Next door’s been quieter today.

We submitted my story No Escape. It came out to have 57518 words. If it doesn’t make it, I’m not going to submit anymore. At least not for a very long time. Also, if it doesn’t make it, I’ll at least not have to worry about being so perfect with my writing, and I can then use all the racial slurs I want. Even the names of celebrities.

I also finished Traces of Hope. Finally. I’m proofreading it now.

I decided to give the sweepstakes until we move out of this duplex. Even I’d be surprised if I didn’t win at least some kind of small prize between now and then, as pessimistic as I am. I mean, you’re talking hundreds of entries a day!

Tom got the bird-chirping wall clock to work again which had failed to work once we got to Maricopa. Maybe some of the evil that dwelled there had a hand in that. Our shit broke in Phoenix too, but not nearly as much as it did in Maricopa.

Not much happened today. Tom said he heard a few minor bangs from next door, but that’s it. It rained and was cloudy, so maybe that had a part in it. After not having to run the heat for two days, I may have to run it late tonight.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Today was 10º too cool, so tonight, just like last night, the heater will need to be on. At least it kept things quiet around here. I don’t even have bad vibes about tomorrow, but we’ll see. Either way, we’re going to walk to the grocery store in the late afternoon or early evening.

The first week of dieting has lost 4 pounds. I don’t think I’ll lose any more without dropping my calories to 1000 or lower after I’ve been having about 1100-1300, but I also don’t think I can do that.

Tom has been burning floppy disks onto CDs. You can fit around 500 onto a CD. Then he’s going to ditch most of the floppies. It’s all in preparation to fit our stuff into just the truck alone for when we get out of this state. He thinks that if we leave at 8 AM, we can hit Redding by 11:00, then Sacramento by 3 PM. But when??? This year? Next?

Monday, May 30, 2005

There are no parties going on right now, though Patty let the dog annoy me earlier. It barked twice to be let in, making me want to shake Patty and say, “Stop leaving the damn dog out back unattended!” I wish dogs could be litter box trained like cats. Better yet, I wish they weren’t so damn loud! As I said, if I’m going to be forced to listen to barking no matter where we go, we may as well get our own dog once we get settled down in Sacramento. At least down there, I could leave it outside during the daytime when I happen to be asleep to bark with all the others and know no one’s going to complain.

She’s taken to hanging things out, too. Mostly big things like sheets and blankets.

We took our walk earlier and got $13 worth of groceries for just $6, thanks to the girl that fucked up for the better for us. It’s nice when people fuck up for the better! It was slightly warm for walking, but not too bad. We may walk to the Chinese place next weekend or order a pizza, depending on my schedule, because as Tom said, we deserve a treat. I agree, so long as it doesn’t screw us out of getting out of here. We are giving notice come September or October at the latest. What’s weird, though, is that walking has been causing me to get cramps in my hips. They walked us to death in Valleyhead yet I never got shit. I know I’m older now, but Tom’s even older and he doesn’t get that.

The summer hours at work start this week, which means he’ll be going to work and coming home an hour earlier.

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2010): Introduction

Finally…

Back on the old grounds…

click

Ladies. Gentlemen and Others, welcome, to the Doom WADs’ Roulette, where I review the best WADs according to Doomworld’s Top 100 WADs of All Times and (now) Cacowards. Today, we are starting to check out the “Cacowards” BEEP “2010” BEEP roster. Here are the rules:

#1 We are playing on GZDoom (ver. 4.11.3 4.14.1).

#2 We are playing on Hurt Me Plenty.

#3 Vertical aiming is on.

#4 No infinitely tall monsters.

#5 The WAD will be downloaded from the archives unless it’s not there among other reasons.

#6 We are playing WADs shown on a current roster from top to bottom split into three leagues (top 10, runners-up and honorable mentions, and other WADs).

#7 Lighting is set on modified Classic along with modified fog effect.

#8 Deathmatch WADs and the winners of the Worst WAD award do not count.

#9 When it comes to the community projects that are like Community Chest series, if I didn’t enjoy a map (or two), I am allowed to skip it on the second playthrough

click

Welcome to the 2010s, folks! If you thought that insanity on the Internet peaked at the end of the 2000s, you are severely wrong.

I won’t be talking about overall world stuff and video game releases anymore because I feel like it’s a waste of time. If there is something that I actually remember and want to mention, I’ll do it.

So, what happened to the Doom franchise in 2010? Well… some stuff happened. Doom RPG II, for instance, was released that year, along with the Xbox 360 port of Doom II a few months later. What’s interesting about the latter, is that it also came with the official, new episode titled No Rest for the Living. PC players only had to wait up to October 2012 to get it within Doom 3 BFG Edition (unless they managed to port it on PC themselves earlier and I don’t know about it).

From the WAD side of Doom, ZDoom gained an official support for UDMF (Universal Doom Map Format), version 0.98d of Skulltag was released (which would later become the final version of that source port), along with SLADE 3 in the same month.

As for that year’s Cacowards, it had mostly the same team as in 2009 – Scuba Steve, Janitor, hobbs, and esselfortium as the main writers, Mancubus II who made an illustration for it, and Bloodshedder who made a foreword. The only difference was two new writers added – Brett Harrell (Mechadon), the guy who earned the title of the Mapper of the Year in the previous Cacowards, and The Ultimate DooMer himself, Stephen Clark.

What I’m looking forward with the 2010 roster, is that it finally has some honorable mentions; five of them I might add. After having rosters from 2005 to 2009 having nothing but two runners-up per year, it’s finally refreshing for the silver league to have more WADs to talk about.

Although, I have to suffer from Mockaward winner first to get to that league.

I heard that GZDoom 4.14 onward made some of the ZDoom WADs busted as a cost of better protection against exploits.

Let’s hope it did nothing with this roster.

…

Oh, and by the way, about replaying Memento Mori II’s final third – ditching that idea. I think I lost the motivation and/or mood to replay these maps.

[goddeityess-religion]

I believe my Jesus groom is 6 ft, but I get more Jesus’s some too! it depends how tall I am. It’s like, I weigh 125 now, but they say I weigh 263. I used to a size 18 maternity and a size 22 in regular sizes, so I seemed like I weigh about maybe 165lbs, but the doctors office said I weigh 281 lbs. I had lymphatic drainage and I am now a size 8 maternity and a size 12 in regular sizes. When I got rid of my old clothes that were too big, they asked me about it. All I told them was that they are too big. So they thought I lost less than 20 lbs. I think they did even say that and I did t correct them either. I didn’t want to talk to them about it. So, they just said I used to weigh 281 lbs and now weigh 263 lbs. I always saw 125 lbs on the scale, it would always flash there. So, I don’t think I get more lymphatic drainage to look smaller than my true weight. See, I’m short and I’ve known that 125 lbs is a size 8 for my height. I’ve known, because I was 120-125lbs a long time and it was a size 8. It’s just a medium. Anyway, My Jesus and I might get taller if we are only 14 years old. I’m very short and my feet are a size 10. For my height, my feet would be a size 8, maybe. But if I’m 14 years old, we’ll, they’ve always said that teenagers have big feet and they grow into their feet later. They are still growing in height and some other things. Just like toddlers, their heads are bigger than the rest of their bodies. They look like Funko Pops, but they grow into their heads after a while. I saw a 5”8 ft Jesus twice that I can remember. He delivered my Skylar perfume/cologne from Sephora. And I saw him in my doorway and Nonni and Poppi called him Rollo and they called me Daria. I get that this Princess and the Pea story is a problem and it belongs to the fallen angels which according to the Holy Bible, is demons that seem good and seem like the look good even, but are a bunch of sinners! Anyway, I may be too big of a dreamer, but I think we did figure out something. We could all find our identical twins here, our twin flames. I’m ready to commit. I find my identical twins here, my Jesus and more Jesuses again and I’m all in. I’ll work it all out. I’ll try to be the goodiest good girl for him, a true angel.

[teenmomcentral]

Jenelle Evans and David Eason have split…and now the former Teen Mom 2 lovers are blowing up the phone lines of their local sheriffs’ office!

The Ashley can exclusively confirm that officers made several trips to Jenelle’s home on The Land last week, to deal with “family issues” going on between her and David. 

According to one police incident report exclusively obtained by The Ashley, the fired ‘Teen Mom 2’ star called the cops on March 6 to report that David had taken important things like her drivers license, wallet and credit cards on February 28 and was still refusing to return the items to her.

According to the police report, Jenelle stated that a crime of larceny had been committed against her, being that her credit/debit cards, wallet, drivers license and other miscellaneous cards were stolen from her and being held hostage. While David isn’t specifically named as the offender on the report, the offender is listed as a 35-year-old white male who is a resident. (For the record, David is currently 35.)

In another police incident report from last month, police came to The Land to deal with what was labeled non-violent “Family Offenses.” While the details of those alleged crimes were redacted from the report, the suspect is once again listed as a 35-year-old white male, who is 6 feet, 6 inches tall, and a resident. 

Interestingly, for this offense, the officer checked that the crime was suspected to be a “hate/bias-motivated” crime.

Both of those incidents are listed as “active.” 

Over the weekend, Jenelle stated that David has been harassing her since she filed for separation in late February, even mentioning that her former swampy soulmate had been taking her things. 

“I’m just gonna sit here and continue to mind my own business, take care of my kids,” Jenelle said on TikTok. “He can continue to harass me, try to show up to my house every day with cops, text me horrible mean texts everyday, take my things. The list goes on and on and on what nobody knows and I’m not here to just spew everything either.”

It appears that David did call the police on Jenelle at least once over the past several weeks. According to the incident reports, David asked cops to assist with him trying to get some of his scuba/boat equipment, as well as his motorcycle and other items back from The Land. (The Ashley hears that David had to surrender Jenelle’s vehicle that he was driving but was allowed to take his old truck with him.) 

As The Ashley previously reported, Jenelle filed for legal separation from David late last month. In her filing, Jenelle provided a laundry list of reasons she wants out of her marriage to David, including what she claims is “concerning and disturbing behavior” spurred by his “excessive alcohol use”; his habit of excessively spending her money (because he refuses to work); and drinking and driving on the regular, to name just a few things.

Jenelle also pointed out that David cost her income from numerous jobs (including her job on ‘Teen Mom 2’) and that her standing by him has “degraded her public image.” (Click here to read a breakdown of the legal separation paperwork.) 

In order to obtain a divorce in North Carolina, though, Jenelle and David will have to prove that they have lived separately for one year. (David has been living on the couple’s broken boat since last month, while Jenelle and her kids are living on The Land.)

[thekittyburger]

ah ty for the tag!!

1. are you named after anyone? I think my middle name was after someone’s Nin? I doesn’t really come up much though so I don’t know

2. when was the last time you cried? Ohoho I’ve actually started recording when and why I cry because I looove statistics (help) and according to my notes it was the 28/3 but I’ve definitely cried like 7 times this month I just forgot to write it down and now I can’t remember lol

3. do you have kids? Legally or emotionally? (0 and 1 respectively)

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? I do but if I haven’t met you before I might not understand it in person, I know when I’m doing it I just don’t know if you’re serious T-T

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people? Clothes and how they act

6. what’s your eye color? Bluey-Green

7. scary movies or happy endings? Love both but I’m a paranoid bitch so I can’t handle really scary stuff (loved M3GAN tho and I’m going to force myself to watch The Last Voyage of the Deméter too)

8. any special talents? Pattern recognition and I can wiggle my ears?

9. where were you born? In the only woman’s hospital in the city which has like 50 speed bumps so I bet that was fun

10. what are your hobbies? Writing, reading, video games, drawing, sculpting clay when I can get it, walking with my friends while making stupid videos etc

11. have you any pets? 3 cats (Cosy, Paddywak and Frank), several fish (my 13 year old goldfish passed away last week rip Digby), 4 budgies (I’m allergic, which we found out after we got 2. And then someone left us with 2 more. 💀 I feel guilty I don’t spend as much time with the, but they’ve also been mimicking my cough because they affect me so much…)

12. what sport do you play/have played? Oh god, only sport I’ve been good at (not counting on the wii) is badminton because everyone knows the girls the gays and the theys dominate at it.

13. how tall are you? Taller than most but probably just a bit above average

14. favorite subject in school? Geography (physical)

15. dream job? I’m looking towards curatorship but I’d also be happy being the person who’s in charge of the trolleys in Tesco’s so

tagging @ramblingstaylorsversion @ryromates @cinnamon-phrog and anyone else who wants to join!

Thank you to @hannibalcatharsis-zero for the tag!

1. are you named after anyone? Business name, no. Social name, yes. I don't use either here.

2. when was the last time you cried? I hate that I teared up a little over Colin From Accounts. Help, I have lost my immunity to romantic comedies. Really cried, I don't remember. Last year maybe?

3. do you have kids? Not my scene

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? No, never! (subtitles: often)

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people? Clothes and hair

6. what’s your eye color? Brown

7. scary movies or happy endings? Either/both

8. any special talents? Making connections between concepts and ideas with wild abandon. Usually I'm told this is inappropriate. Occasionally it is helpful.

9. where were you born? In a pub, almost

10. what are your hobbies? Writing, reading, video games, photography, attempting to keep fit, singing, dance, voice acting, regular acting.

11. have you any pets? Cat

12. what sport do you play/have played? Does karate count? I am too much of a lone wolf to play team sports.

13. how tall are you? Pretty tall

14. favorite subject in school? Art

15. dream job? Related to the previous question, I used to want to draw for Disney. Other than that, movie director.

tagging (if you want to): @gothwizardmagic @thekittyburger @harvestar @reticentral @deviltownresident @kacilier @miladdio @jam-the-hologram @folklorerimmer @littledangerouspie @small-cs-traffic-warden @celery505 @rose-lalonde-fangirl @mystrothedefender @feline-ranger @pheonixed @wizardcunt & anyone else who wants to play

[smilesrobotlover]

Some cringe 😔✊

[ms-rampage]

Anymore Lore on Liv x Ubba or King Fairhair?

So I’m gonna answer both of these.

More info below the cut!

Liv & Harald

Ship name: Livald. Haraliv.

Not my photo by the way

For King Harald Fairhair, this “relationship” was arranged by both their fathers years earlier.

This was arranged because Edmund owed Harald’s father (Halfdan the Black according to the AC wiki) a favor, and as a way to strengthen both their families since Edmund is an apparent relative to King Burgred (hence why he was considered a traitor to the crown for fleeing Mercia/England, and marrying a Norse woman).

When Liv escaped Kjotve the Cruel, she was visited by Harald, and brought up their arranged marriage.

“What are you talking about, Your Grace?.” she asks, confused as to why King Harald would give her the time and day to visit her. Especially after she escaped the hand of Kjotve after all the abuse and torture he and Gorm did to her.

“I apologize for my unannounced visit, milady.” he says, “I don’t know if this was explained to you, but I’m sure your father will explain it.”

Liv plays with the sleeve cuff of her dress, “My father died, a long time ago.”

“My apologies for your loss. Your mother?.” he asks in the most sincere voice.

“She died 72 moons ago. 6 years ago.” she answers nervously, she never knew how to use the whole “many moons” type of thing.

“I’m sorry about your parents, but many years ago, my father and yours made an arrangement for both our families.” he explains to her.

“What arrangement?.” she asks, awkwardly shifting away from him, but not making it noticeable.

“We are arranged to be married, to strengthen both our families because your father, Edmund, was related to the Mercia dynasty.”

Raising her eyebrows, she never knew this information about her father, but then he died when she was 6 years old, so she didn’t know him very well, her mother never mentioned it to her. Unknown if she knew of this arrangement.

“My father? I- I didn’t know any of this. I've never been told about this.” she tells him, feeling like she was on the verge of crying. She started to feel overwhelmed, and Harald saw this. “Marry me, and you won’t have to be scared. You’ll always be protected, and you will be my queen.” he tells her, taking her hands in his. He has this gentle look in his eyes, but it seemed kinda off.

In a way, Liv did believe him, but she wanted to see it to believe it. She reluctantly agreed to take his hand and marry him. But this was just a plot for her to plan her next escape, if given the chance before she was married to him.

***********

Liv & Ubba

Ship name: Libba. Lubba. Livba

They met at a feast held by the Raven clan, Liv isn’t one to be social. She's an introvert. She's one to stand in the corner of the room and watch everyone else have fun. That's her way of having fun.

The drunkards making fools of themselves dancing, eating and singing very loudly. Celebrating very loudly. He approached her, as she was trying not to be seen, but who can miss her with 3 foxes by her side, and her bright copper hair. Not to mention, her lack of tattoos, her long beautiful dresses, and not looking like a viking, but having the mentality of one.

As he approaches her, she tries to not acknowledge him, but not wanting to be rude she gives him a smile. Drinking her mead, and looking down at her furry companions.

“Having fun?.” he asks her, leaning against the wall. Giving her a slight smile, how this man is Ivarr’s brother is beyond Liv’s knowledge. He’s handsome, tall. Taller than her by many, he towers over her and with his big build.

“Yeah, I am.” she responds, giving a smile back.

“Not gonna dance?.” he asks her, a hint of flirtatious in his tone, probably because he's been drinking, and probably wants to get with Liv.

“I’m not much of a dancer.” she tells him, feeling a little embarrassed. Looking away from him.

He lets out a laugh that can’t be heard over the sound of everyone else singing, laughing, and being loud in general. “Neither are these drunken fools.” he tells her as she finishes off her mead and sets down the cup. Finishing her 3rd cup. Feeling a little tipsy and very social.

“I don’t think they will remember anything tonight.” she tells him, feeling the mead hit her as she starts to move a little closer to Ubba. “They’re only good singers when they’re drowning in their mead.”

He takes her hand, “Dance with me.” Unable to protest against him, she follows him, not like she has any choice, she joins him and the others in the group dance of drunks. She had a great time, standing in the corner got a little boring anyway. Dancing and laughing with the members of the Raven clan.

Ubba lifted her up a few times in mid-dance, neither of them could remember, but according to Tove and Petra, Liv and Ubba did share a kiss that was interrupted by Ivarr, and his drunken state.

[blustalker]

Meeting LJ

Lj x Gn!Reader

words: 1.5k

a/n: Go easy on me dudes this is my first time posting a story

“Adam wanna come outside and play in the park? We haven't hang out for a while now have we, buddy?” y/n told their 6 year old little brother. Adam was always cooped up in the house since it's been summer break. They felt bad for not being there for him more often. y/n’s work has been taking a load on them.

“Can I please stay here instead? I don’t want to leave LJ pleasee?” Adam pleaded

‘LJ? Who the fuck is that..probably just an imaginary friend or something’

“Oh? Is that your new friend? What do they look like?” y/n asked kinda creeped out about it but shrugged it off wanting to engage a conversation with Adam

“Mhm he keeps me company and he's very funny. His name is Laughing Jack or LJ for short. He has this big long nose and OH! He looks so cool! He wears these black and white clothes and is very tall!” He yelled happily 

‘Dam..That’s not creepy at all’ y/n thought

“Well he can tag along with us. It will be fun, don't you think? Now grab your coat and hat, it's pretty chilly outside” They said cheerily but on the inside they didn't want whatever this creature was, not that it matters he's not real.

“Yes!” He quickly stood up and rushed out the door. y/n sighed and took one last glance around his room before seeing a black shadow dash on the corner of their eye making them spin their head towards that direction. 

“I swear to god. Ghosts not now kill me later- I mean don’t kill me. Fuck go away” y/n hastily said and closed their brother’s room.

Ah yes the park, a lovely place to be in beautiful dandelion flowers are seen along the path towards the playground. Kids swaying on swings, the other slid on the slides. All the elderly people were watching, sitting and observing their children's play. The other moms were gossiping and talking shit of each other 

“Go ahead and play there Adam I’ll join you in a few” y/n said sitting on a bench they watched as he rushed along and verse with other kids. y/n looked up at the sky and closed their eyes thinking of work..No I should push that aside for now they thought.

 Y/n exhaled through their nose and opened their eyes to be welcomed with a demonic looking creature smiling wide at them with pointy yellow teeth and a long cone shaped nose. y/n jolted up and yelped loudly which received weird glances from the people around them. y/n was embarrassed but they glanced around them but whatever the fuck that was seems like it disappeared. That thing looked exactly like Adam’s “friend” according to how he described him. 

“Shit shit what the fuck was that?!” They whisper shouted at themselves now feeling paranoid of their surroundings 

“y/n come join me!” Adam shouted suddenly making them flinch 

“Coming!”

Both siblings played around there for a few hours before y/n decided that they should both leave before it gets dark. The whole time y/n would glance around their surroundings hoping not to see that smiling monochrome creature both of them finally reached the house, for dinner y/n just heated up some leftover food and at that the day was almost over.

“Come on dear brother it’s time for bed” They said as he helped him change his clothes to a more comfier one and tucked him in the bed. “Goodnight Adam I love you” y/n said kissing Adams forehead

“Goodnight y/n and Lj” He smiled at the both of them

y/n felt goosebumps all over their body and left Adam’s room hastily feeling very unsettled.

“Fuking Lj, that creepy bitch. Fuck it I’m not sleeping tonight” They said running into their room scared. 

y/n laid down on their bed and all the lights were on, so is the TV hoping it would distract them from the thought. “I’m a fuking adult. I shouldn't be scared for the love of shit” y/n just stayed there on their bed watching random channels on the TV for hours but the sleepiness took over and they passed out. 

It's been a week since that happened and everything is going strange 1. Someone is leaving candy in front of your doorstep and few small dandelion flowers 2. Adam is always talking to himself in his room 3. A shadowy figure keeps appearing on y/n’s peripheral vision it's making them so paranoid to the point y/n tried calling the police because someone keeps leaving candy and flowers in front of their house but the stupid officers just laughed at them and said it was probably some prank someone is pulling.

“Well fuck you too what if its some stalker leaving candy and flowers or some shit” They muttered to themselves. All sorts of candy were piled on their front door to snickers, skittles, m&m etc. y/n was actually tempted to take one but was too scared to reach for one.

Adam had requested y/n to watch a movie together when they returned from work. He loves watching movies, especially “Scream”. He likes to re-watch it everytime not that y/n is complaining they like Stu Macher and would watch the movie a thousand times just for him. 

They both watched all the scream movies before passing out on the couch. What a lovely night isn't it. I think a Monochromic clown enjoyed it too who y/n seems to have momentarily forgotten about.

y/n slowly woke up from hearing murmurs from his brother

“Adam why are you awake- WHAT THE FUCK GET AWAY FROM HIM” y/n stood up and tried to get closer but some force was not letting them

“y/n! You’re awake and you can see him! This is LJ my friend-” Adam was cut off by y/n

“No no Adam that is not your friend that is some demonic shit and I can’t fucking move! GET OUT OF HERE!” They shouted frustrated in the verge of tears

“Ah aren’t you y/n how adorable” Lj chuckled

“Who the fuck are you and what do you want from us” y/n growled they cant move a limb and remained standing infront of them.

“Don't worry y/n he's very kind and nice and he's not a demon he's a clown!” Adam smiled at you. Oh how innocent this soul is not knowing this clown can kill him any second.

“I don’t want anything from your brother. I want you. Adam, why don't you go to y/n’s room and find a movie for all of us to watch, while I get to know your lovely little sibling.” He smiled his sharp teeth showing  

“Sure!” He stood up from the floor and went upstairs to your room to find a your collection of CDs

“Am I on fuking drugs? Don’t you dare fuking hurt him if you’re actually real. I'm gonna rip your guts out you tall bitch!” y/n shouted but lowered it down hoping Adam won't hear. y/n was scared and confused if this was a dream or not.

“Oh no deary how threatening.. Did you like those candies and dandelions I gave you?” Lj asked hopefully 

“No I fucking hated it! What is it that you want from us bitch” They said glaring at him if only looks can kill. He looked a bit hurt but proceeded 

“Now now I just wanted to make a deal and no you’re not on drugs. I’ve been watching you for a while and I've taken a great liking to you... I like how you take care of your brother and never abandon him. Let me stay here. I wont hurt him or you.” He smiled menacingly 

“What makes you fuking think I’ll believe you? Hell I could actually be dreaming or be dealing with a fuking devil” They said confidently. Poor y/n they really thought it's a dream. The fact that they think that this is all fake is giving them confidence. 

“If this was a dream you would let me rip your brother to shreds then hm?” Lj said in a bit of wonder, smiling very wildly, his sharp, big, and yellow teeth showing. 

“NO! Dont just..fuking hell. What if I deny?” They asked very unsettled. This might be a dream but they will still never let their brother get hurt or killed in any way.

“I’ll rip both of you to shre-” 

“Fine fine you can stay but if you harm a single strand of his hair or hurt him in any fucking way I’ll find a way to get rid of you” They stubled back a bit finally feeling the sensation in their body.

“Hmm will see about that” He grinned

“y/n! Lj! Let’s watch Clueless! I really want to see this one” He cheered coming back to the room, seeming not to notice what they were talking about. 

y/n who was still processing what's going on just nodded as they took the CD from Adam’s hand and loaded it in the CD player. y/n wanted to ask questions but was too afraid. They really hoped it was just a dream or get the balls to ask Lj who the fuck he is and what is he. Lj sat beside y/n making them flinch.

“Don’t be scared now i don't bite” He smirked

“Ye..yeh right” They said nervously and looked away from him

[animezinglife]

Thanks for the tag, @rebelnurse!

1. Were you named after anyone?

Nope. I have a very typical, American name.

2. When was the last time you cried?

A few days ago. Same old reasons (frustrated with life, bored, stuck, alone, etc.)

3. Do you have kids?

No, but I would love to adopt a dog.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Never.

5. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Demeanor

6. What is your eye color?

Blue 

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings all the way!

8. Any special talents?

I have been told by people whose opinions I deeply value in the craft that I’m a good writer. So either that, my various ambidextrous writing/drawing ability, or my ability to calm people. I do a lot of audio/voiceover work for mental health initiatives in my job because, according to them, that comes through in my voice, too. My friend’s been trying to get me to start a soft-spoken ASMR channel.

I worked hard for a lot of years on others, so I don't really feel they belong in this category.

9. Where were you born?

Y’all have probably figured that one out by now. :)

10. Have any Hobbies?

Fiction writing, long walks, being outdoors, dancing, reading, working out, etc.

11. Have any pets?

No, but I desperately want to adopt a dog. It just hasn’t worked out in terms of the living situation yet.

12. What sports do you play/ have you played?

Dance, Taekwondo/MMA, and dabbled in track, tennis, and cheer when I was in elementary school. I only stuck with the first two even though I loved tennis. My school was small/rural and lost their program.

I played one summer of basketball through a camp and was the team’s finest benchwarmer. Hand-eye coordination did not extend to basketball and I distinctly remember getting hit in the face by the ball during a game.

I can stop/evade a fist coming towards my face, but not a giant, orange ball.

13. How tall are you?

5'4″

14. What is your favorite subject at school?

English

15. Dream job?

Author and creative writing professor, but who worked remotely/traveled whenever I saw fit. 

Tagging @the-gotheltic-rowan and @indynerdgirl​!

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

Thanks for the tags @peony-pearl and @sleepyghoststories 💖💖💖

1. Were you named after anyone?

A fictional character from a movie my parents watched while dating.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I don't remember. Which means I'm due for a breakdown soon.

3. Do you have kids?

Nope

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

It's how I cope

5. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Usually their appearance/outfit

6. What is your eye color?

Dark brown

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings ❤️

8. Any special talents?

I can roll my eyes to the back of my head. Makes for excellent zombie impressions.

9. Where were you born?

illinois

10. Have any Hobbies?

Drawing, writing, cosplaying

11. Have any pets?

No but I always wanted a cat

12. What spots do you play/ have you played?

I used to do track and volleyball

13. How tall are you?

5'7"

14. What is your favorite subject at school?

Art class

15. Dream job?

In a perfect world, writer and voice actor.

Tags: @avatardoggo @exhaustedhope @wingchunwaterbender @friendrat @trashfactorysstuff @emmelinekahuyan @love-airy @love-n-purple @longing-for-rain @moonlitxeuphoria @its-booklovr @monochromeswirl @fireliliesstuff @evsalonyx @ekwolfwriter-blog

[cherriegyuu]

Let’s Talk Boys Planet | Elimination 2

The second round of eliminations is finally over. We’ll go through the top 9 and then a few other contestants that deserve some attention (good or bad).

#1 Hanbin – I mean, nothing new to see here. Will he pull a Cai Xukun and be center, place first throughout the entire competition and then be center and first place again? Probably and honestly I don’t blame people for it.  If we have to compare to PDX (we don’t have to but I want to), I think Yohan was a bit more charismatic but Hanbin is overall more well rounded, but Yohan had been a trainee for a very short period of time back then.

#2 Zhag Hao – I mean, the centers be centering idk. He is very good, and does his best always. I think he will look great in the final group.

#3 Yujin – I have no doubt he will debut and I honestly think he did a good job in Law, where did that low voice of his even came from? However, his mental health really concerns me. I don’t know how much of the way he acts is him being an introvert (and this kind of environment doesn’t helpt at all) and how much is because that stupid judge decided that it would be a good idea do talk a fucking teenager like he was a 35 year old man. I hope that as time goes on and he realizes how talented he is, his confidence will come back. I know a lot of people are against him debuting because he is so young but honestly most people don’t actually give a shit, if they did Wonyoung wouldn’t have debuted in Izone, Dohyung wouldn’t have debuted in X1, Somi wouldn’t have been in I.O.I and so many others that didn’t go through a reality show like this. People are making a big deal out of it but they don’t actually care.  And let’s be clear, once the show is over and he does make the cut, people will not say “I won’t stan this group because he is too young”. I bet whatever you guys want that in less than six months someone will have written filthy smut with him as the main character and will sexualize everything he does. So please, don’t be hypocrites, if you don’t like him just say so, okay?

#4 Matthew – I like him, I was voting for him but I’m not crazy over him. The second I had to drop someone from my voting list he was the first one to go. This doesn't mean that he is bad, it just means that he doesn’t do it for as much as he does for other people.

#5 Jiwoong - Like I said before, sometime I am a basic bitch. Comparing to PDX (we don’t have to but we will), Jiwoong gives me very much Wooseok vibes, in the sense that he looks very cold and sometimes it makes me wonder if he even wants to be there. He isn’t the best singer but he’s a good dancer in the idol form not like a dancer, dancer. In these few last episodes we were able to see some of his personality and he longer seems to cosplay Elsa.

#6 Gyuvin – Sometimes the basic bitch doesn’t get it, okay? I don’t personally think that he is handsome, he hardly sings in the songs that he was given, and he is an okay dancer I think. I can’t even remember which song he chose in the second round (after much though, like 2 whole minutes, I remembered that he was in Love Killa). So, again, comparing to PDX, he gives Jungmo vibes but with a Minhee lookalike face.

#7 Taerae – I knew that was going to make it into the top 9 and I’m sure he won’t be getting out of it at all, Koreans do love him and he deserves it. He is such a good singer. His voice is so calming and beautiful and he has the sweetest smile. Him and Keita were the only one who made into top 9 without any benefits and that’s very hot of them.

#8 Keita – dude is outstanding. He can sing, can dance, can rap, is super talented (YG is a dumb bitch). Apparently his only negative point, according to Kntez, is the fact that he isn’t tall but he love a short king. I don’t how much his rank will fluctuate now that we can only vote for 3 people but I hope he can debut because Rain is basically selling his group out.

#9 Gunwook – HE MADE IT!! By a short margin, almost didn’t, but he’s here. I hope he stays here and doesn’t go anywhere at all. I love him so much, from the first episode. It seems that Mnet wants him debut so I’m assuming that he will get a lot of positive editing in the next episodes so try and get him to rank higher. People think that he is scary but he is actually just a giant baby who knows that he is good GOOD. The fact that he gets in the top 9, if we just consider the Korean votes, makes me really happy and hope that there’s a chance of him making it.

And now onto the trainees that didn’t made it but I want to mention:

Hui – I called it in my last post, he dropped and he won’t be getting back up. I have a feeling that since the Hyuna and Dawn thing people have a personal vendetta against Pentagon and the members, Hui most of all. I remember how during RTK all the other groups voted for Pentagon but their votes were actually very low when it came from the audience. So yeah, he is great but he won’t make it here. I hope he can debut solo, for real, and have everyone by the balls like B.I did with BTBT.

Jongwoo – I decided to give him my third vote even though he didn’t make it the first and second round. Dude is crazy good, a born leader (I loved to see him chewing up Ma Jing Xian’s ass, that guys really need a wake up call and that was so hot of him). I hope he is the dark horse of the season. From the current top 9, I would take out Gyuvin and get him up there, but realistic he is probably against Gunwook which makes me nervous. I guess it’s a good think that I’m voting for both of them.

Shuaibo – Please tell me what you guys see in this dude, PLEASE. When I said that I don’t get the hype Gyuvin it wasn’t hate, I don’t get it but I accept it. With this guy is pure hate. Like, I watched his fancams and I don’t get it. He half asses everything. HE WANTED Feel Special, he chose it from the started, said it was the only song he wanted, and then proceeded to boycott his own team. Woongi carried the whole performance on his own and for some reason Shuaibo still placed first, still placed higher than Woongi the overall rank. You can’t say that you’re voting for him because he is handsome, because he is not. So what the hell is it? Is it pitty because he didn’t make it to the chinese show is was part of of? TELL ME WHAT IT IS! People say that he is great but I’m yet to see anything from him. He is low-average at best. My hate comes from the fact that he is trying to be in a group but he is not a team player and he doesn’t even try to hide it. I saw people commenting on the fact that that Mnet always cuts his speeches but honestly, thank god. He ranks this high being bad and having a bad edit on his back, imagine what he would do if he could have a single chance to do anything that isn’t hateful.

Wang Zihao – He has no chance of making it into the group. Mnet hates him, dude never even got a mic during the recordings but he is sooooooo good. H was someone I paid attention to during Kill This Love and then again in Law. Mnet, you piece of shit. H will probably be eliminated in the next round since he had very little votes in Korea (the lowest of them all 30k only) but I still want to see him kick some ass in the next round.

My three votes for this round go to Gunwook, Jiwoong and Jongwoo.

It’s really interesting to see how much the ranks change if you take into consideration only the Korean votes or only the Global votes. One of them has 5 global trainees and the other one only has 2. Any wild guesses?

I guess that’s all I had to say. I’m looking forward to see which song will be the song of the season, like U Got I and Move were for Produce X. The song that the group will carry with them once the show is over.

I talked so much about X1 and PDX in this post. I’m going to hate myself but I’ll go back and watch of the performances again.