#but I’m queer enough that I’m undesirable to straight cis folks probably…
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I feel. So very very. Bad.
#tw eating disorder#tw gender dysphoria#and yearning? haven’t yearned in a while#figuring out more about my gender has enlightened and empowered me a lot#but it’s also made me feel a lot more isolated too#it feels like I’m not trans enough for trans people#because I don’t really want top surgery or even to go on t (at least not right now)#like I’m not queer enough#but I’m queer enough that I’m undesirable to straight cis folks probably…#like I feel like I’m learning so much more about who I am but that person feels so completely… undesirable#and I hate myself for so many other reasons— I am NOT the person who’s going to love myself even if nobody else wants me#so I’m just here#I’m too much and not enough#lifelong local foreigner#the eternal outsider#and I’m sure that there are plenty of other people like me! who also feel this way!#but it doesn’t make it less suffocating
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