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grace-mint · 3 months

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A Fate Worse Than Death- Part 3

Finale time!! I'm still working on improving my writing, so thank you to everyone who read! TW: Angst, negative self-talk, mentions of SA and torture. Let me know if I forgot anything.

My life had lost all of its meaning. I didn’t want to care anymore. I couldn’t find it in me to care anymore. Rhys was concerned, I knew. I also knew that I was slowly killing him, the fact that I hardly ate, hardly spoke, and hardly slept.

My back had healed in time, it had been about a month and a half since that day, and yet the feeling of hands on my body, the male taking advantage of me, and the gaping hole in my chest from the loss of my wings all felt so prominent and recent.

Now, in place of my once glorious wings, giant, ugly scars lived on my back. They didn’t allow me to fly, they didn’t offer intimate moments with my mate, and they didn’t offer me any comfort. These jagged, hideous things, they were a reflection of my soul. Who I was now. I didn’t try anymore. And just like I didn’t want to care, I didn’t want to try.

My childhood, which was ripped from my young grasp, wasn’t enough? The Gods had to punish me even more? I felt so completely numb, and I was ashamed of this. I was so ashamed when Mor had to help me bathe when I had gotten back, too weak to even wash myself. Or when Azriel had to help me learn how to walk again, his scarred hand sitting softly on my back was a parallel to what lingered under my shirts. I’m sure I looked ridiculous, like a fawn learning how to use her legs for the first time.

And then there was Rhysand, my mate. The person who I let down. I knew he assumed that I was stripped of my dignity. I couldn’t face him. I never let him see me anymore, panic raging through my body when I saw him, my father’s words echoing in my head. ‘They’ll all see you let yourself get taken by another man.’ He was right; I didn’t fight hard enough. In the end, I was still just as weak as I was as a child, letting my brothers and father treat me like nothing more than dirt.

But, by the cauldron I was bored. I lay in bed, mulling over all of these thoughts that constantly kept me company. I searched my mind and soul to find even a modicum of emotion, a single ray of hope, but I came back empty. So, I just lay there, wallowing.

3 days later, Cassian burst into my room. His face was one of empathy, yet he was determined. This was the General of the Night Court, still a much softer one, but he was in that mind set. He meant business.

“Get up,” he said, “get up out of that bed. You have hardly eaten, I know you don’t sleep well, and we are all worried.”

I rolled over onto my side, my back to him. “You want me to get up, and I want you to get out.” I spit back.

“No.” He plopped himself on the bed, next to my legs. “We don’t have to talk, but I’m not leaving. Cauldron y/n, we don't know what to do anymore.”

I hummed, not deigning to answer. I knew he would stay there, and again, that feeling, that thing in my chest struggled to get out. I smothered it.

I don’t know how long he sat there, or how long I lay there. I wish he would say something, anything to silence the racing thoughts in my mind. In conversation, I wanted silence, yet in silence, I wanted conversation. I was so pathetic.

“He has run himself rampant with worry, you know.” I didn’t want to hear about Rhysand right now, but I wouldn’t stop him. “He spent time in the camps, strictly and personally enforcing the wing laws, seeing to it the males treat the females like actual people, not objects.” Anger entered his voice while talking about the barbaric males in those camps.

“Y/n, he’s so broken without you. My brother has been the strongest male I’ve ever known. He went through hell with Amarantha, his father, and even now, the prejudice he faces from the other courts, it weighs on him. But, when you two were together, no matter what, I have never seen him more joyful. I had never seen him so stress-free, not caring what others had to say.” He brought his hand up to my head, gently stroking my hair. My heart ached, Cassian, the brother I never had, calmed me. Not as much as Rhys could, obviously, but he calmed me just the same. My thoughts slowed down, becoming less and less rapid. “Just see him, once. He needs to see you, and you need to see him. You two have been through so much together, he would never abandon you. You know that right?”

I didn’t answer, staying silent. At one point of my life, I would have answered this question without a single doubt in my mind, but now I couldn’t. That feeling in my chest tugged again, telling me I was being an idiot. My mate would never leave me, but everyone leaves eventually.

Cassian sighed, finally standing up and placing a kiss to my head. “Just think about what I said, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”

“I will.” The first words I had spoken since I’d tried to kick him out. I still couldn’t see him, but I heard him pause. I understood why, I had been so adamant about Rhysand not seeing me. I just gave him the worst possible thing. I gave him hope.

---------------

Rhysand had spent this past month in misery. He hadn’t seen her since a few days after she woke up. He always kept his side of the bond open, hoping she would feel he was there, no matter what.

“She said she’d think about seeing you.” A voice broke through his thoughts. He was sitting in his office, nursing a glass of bourbon.

Hope, the damned thing, sparked in his chest. “You think she will actually go through with it?” Rhysand asked Cassian, not wanting to show his disbelief that y/n would actually go through with it.

“She might.” Rhysand’s face fell at his words. He was going to die without his mate another day more. The numbness from the bond made his chest ache constantly. His heart felt as though it was being stabbed over and over.

“What do I do?” Sorrow dripped from Rhysand’s words.

“Go to her. You two can’t keep avoiding each other, brother. It is killing you both.”

He knew Cassian was right, as much as he hated to admit it, instead he just nodded my head in dismissal, mulling over his words.

Rhysand was going to get his mate back.

---------------

I slept fitfully. Nightmares plagued the darkness, hands, whips, screaming. It was all the same, every night. I woke up, not even phased anymore, yet still shaken. It was normal now, this is what I had been degraded down to. On nights like these, which had been every one, I missed Rhys the most.

A knock on my door woke me from my pity party and in walked Madja, the sweetest woman to grace this court.

She was so grandmotherly and gentle. She truly cared about her patients, treating them more like her own children than simply clients.

“How’s the back?” As kind as she was, she was also a straight to the point, no-nonsense type of grandmotherly.

“Fine.” My usual answer. I wouldn’t burden her with how sometimes it felt like I could feel the steel of the blade ripping into my skin, the crack of the whip against my wings.

She simply nodded, understanding in her eyes. “Lay on your stomach, I want to get a look at it, make sure it is healing well enough.”

I do as she says. I had been wearing Rhys’ clothes, the sole comfort of him I offered myself. They were large enough to not put too much pressure on my healed, but tender back. It also allowed easy access for Madja’s appointments. She unbuttoned the back of the shirt, pulling it away.

“Child, you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. You punish yourself, thinking you failed yourself. You are plain wrong.” Her voice was stern but not unkind. “You have healed physically, you are almost out of remission, but the mental has still yet to be touched upon. Why has your mate not been here? Does he not care?” Madja loved her High Lord like he was her own son, but that would not excuse these actions if they were true.

“No. I don’t want to see him.” My words were flat and left room for no argument.

She sighed, “Dear child, I know what happened, all of it. While others may not, you know that you are still here, despite everything. You cannot let those who hurt you win that war that rages in your head. You are our High Lady, or did you forget. You have fought for so much, do not let these demons be the ones who take you down.”

“Thank you, Madja. Your words mean more than you know.” And I meant it.

She begins to button up the shirt for me, hardly getting more than a few buttons as the door slammed open.

And there stood my mate, eyes wild and raging.

Panic flared in my chest, he would hate me. He would see my back and hate me and he wouldn’t want me anymore.

But as he just stood there, his gaze on my ruined back, I saw his gaze darken with an emotion that wasn’t disgust. He looked murderous.

“I’m so sorry, I should have knocked.” The words come out of Rhysand’s mouth, dripping with anger and melancholy.

“Actually, High Lord, if you wouldn’t mind helping her finish up, I fear I am running late for my next appointment.” Madja said, packing her stuff up. She rushed out of the room before either of us could say anything.

Rhys and just stayed there, staring at each other. He finally moved, “Can I help you button these? Is that okay?”

I nodded, relinquishing eye contact and staring out the window instead. He carefully began to button the shirt up, with the gentlest touch I could imagine. He made sure to not touch a single part of my skin, but I could feel his unwavering gaze on my back.

“Beautiful,” he murmured under his breath, and I felt myself stiffen at his words, not the finger running gently down the scars lingering where my wings should be.

“You’re delusional,” I hear myself say, my breath quickening at his presence. It wasn’t fear or panic I felt anymore, but longing. Cauldron, I’ve missed him.

Rhys stood sharply, helping me up and turning me to face him. He put his fingers under my chin firmly pulling it up to meet his gaze.

“Why would you say that about something that’s a part of you. You are the most gorgeous creature I’ve ever had the blessing to set my eyes upon, and these scars do not take away from that. I will make it my life’s mission to let you never forget that.”

I felt a shudder go through my body at his words. Emotions I had kept under lock and key flooded through me.

“You don’t know what you are talking about, I am ugly. I am disgusting. I am a failure. I don’t deserve someone like you, who still wants me after what I allowed them to do.” And with those words, the dam broke. The emotions escaped the carefully crafted safe, and I cried for the first time since I saw myself in that mirror, facing who I was now.

“Oh y/n darling,” Rhys placed his forehead to mine, “you are not a failure. You are the most stunning thing I have ever laid eyes on. Nothing can possibly compare to your beauty, not the brightest star on Starfall, nor the most awing beaches of the Summer Court. And you are not a failure. What could ever possess you to believe that.”

“Rhys, I failed you. I let them touch me, use me. And I didn’t stop it. I ruined what we had.”

Rhys stilled, his suspicions confirmed. “Your father is going to die an even more painful death than planned.” “He’s still alive?” Fear enters my words. I can hear the shake in my voice.

My mate’s eyes filled with even more anger. “Not for long. He hasn’t been sitting uninjured though, believe me. I would gladly take care of it today, unless you’d like the honor.” He was still in front of me, staring at me.

I shake my head, “I never want to see him or my brothers again.” He nodded in understanding.

“It is done then.” He sighed, and took a few steps back, dropping to his knees in front of me. “My mate, my beautiful, strong mate. You are not a failure, you did not fail me. It could never be possible.”

He gently held my hands, placing a kiss to the back of them. “Those scars you have gained are proof of your strength. Proof that you survived. And I will never, ever allow another male to touch you without your permission.” His words had a dangerous edge to them, one that I knew was speaking nothing but the truth.

“And my love, I am the one who failed you. I wasn’t there to stop them; I let you go on that mission. I am not worthy of your forgiveness.”

My heart leapt at his words, he thought he was the one who let me down. I tugged my hands from his grasp and placed them on either side of his face, sliding off the bed until I was knee to knee with him. Tears began pouring from my eyes. “Rhysand, you are good. You have been nothing less than perfect to me all these years.” His eyes filled with emotions of his own, and I felt his sorrow on the other end of the bond. The Bond. My mate, I could feel him again. I tugged on it, and felt Rhysand inhale.

“Y/N, I can feel you again.” His voice cracked, and I felt myself lunging into his arms. Rhysand’s arms, my mate’s arms tugging me impossibly closer.

“I’m so so sorry, Rhys. I missed you so much; I thought you’d hate me.”

“How could I ever hate you, darling.” His hand ran down the back of my head in comforting strokes. “I love you so much, I am still healing, and it will take time. But the thing I had felt like I was missing for so long was you.”

“You could throw me out and take another 6 years, and I would stand at that door waiting for you.” I knew he was telling the truth, a bit exaggerated, but I knew he would be there. I leaned back, pulling my head from his chest. We just gazed at each other for a while, before I slowly leaned up, placing a gentle kiss to his mouth. His arms tightened around me, as if afraid I might be pulled away.

“I was afraid I would never be able to taste your lips again, feel your embrace, or hear the soft lull of your voice.” My heart broke at his voice, the vulnerability in it.

“Never again, we will never be separated again.” I placed my head on his shoulder leaning into him.

“Never again,” He echoed.

____________________

For the next week, Rhysand was attached to me at the hip, not to say I didn't enjoy it. I missed his presence more than anything. I still couldn’t deal with him sleeping in the bed with me, waking up feeling like I was back in that basement, so he slept in the chair. I felt bad, knowing it couldn’t be comfortable, but he wouldn’t complain. He’d just say he was happy to sleep in the same room as me.

The day after everything happened between him and I, he walked into the room, hands behind his back. When I’d asked what was wrong, he had simply said he took care of an errand. I knew that meant my father and brothers were no longer living, so I simply just took him into the washroom, helping him wash the blood from his hands.

Tonight was the first family dinner I would be attending in nearly two months. Rhysand had helped me with my hair, bought me a new beautiful dress to wear, and now stood by my side, holding my hand as we stood on the roof of the townhouse.

“We don’t have to go, say the word and we can go back down stairs.” His words were soft and gentle. The last time we flew together, I was flying on my own. He would have to carry me now.

I offer a small smile, “I miss my family, Rhys. I have to do this sometime, so why not now.”

With strong arms, he picks me up, hooking one arm under my knees and the other under my shoulders. I wrapped my arms around his neck, with a quick kiss to his cheek. “I’ll be ok.”

He merely nods, stretching out his powerful wings, and I felt a pang go through my chest at the sight. His eyes snap to mine, feeling what I was feeling through the bond. “Darling?”

“Let’s go.” I say, my chin up and determined. I was ready to do this. He shot off the roof with a powerful flap of his wings. I felt the familiar, comforting feeling of my stomach dropping at the movement. My arms tightened around his neck, and I forced myself to look out over our city. It would take time, but I would force myself to be okay with this.

I brought my head up to see my mate staring at me. “You’re the most gorgeous being I’ve ever sat my eyes upon.” I felt my cheeks flush at his words.

“You and your flattery.” I grin at him, looking out over Velaris again. “Our city is gorgeous, Rhys.”

“That it is,” His words were soft, but his gaze never left my face. “The most gorgeous.”

#acotar #rhysand x reader #a court of thorns and roses #rhysand angst #acotar fandom #angst #rhysand x you #rhysand x y/n

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scarlettriot · 10 months

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SHE LIT A FIRE • PT 7.5

Pairing: Dad!Kirishima x F!Reader

Contains: Fluff, Aged Up Characters & lots of kisses

Warnings: Swearing, make outs, tooth rotting fluff, I don't wanna tag smut because it really isn't but still Minors and Ageless Blogs DNI just to be on the safe side.

Summary: You and Kiri make this the longest five minutes ever.

Tag List: Will Be In The Comments. If you'd like to be added, message me or comment.

A/N: Hey everyone. I know any update to this fic is long over due and this really isn't much at all but I wanted to give you all something! I hope you enjoy this little snack and that it can hold you over until chapter eight is finished up. I also didn't proof read this so I'm sorry if there are errors...

Word Count: 900ish

It’s a little funny how easy it can be for two people to lose all sense of time. How five minutes quickly becomes ten, pretty soon fifteen, and before either of them can process it, twenty whole minutes have slipped by. You weren’t quite sure how you ended up on the sofa, or when exactly Eijiro pulled you into his lap with the hem of your dress bunching up so you could straddle his thighs with ease. At some point you freed his hair from the tie he had it back in, and he let you slip each button on his dress shirt free too until it hung loose on his wide frame.

You both knew you were tempting fate, living on borrowed time, he should have left by now and gotten home but each time one of you pulled away, the other came crashing back like two magnets that couldn’t be pulled apart. Hands roamed like they were searching for something and yet, they didn’t venture too far. It seemed there were some lines you both knew just couldn’t be crossed this evening despite the wetness that formed between your thighs and the way his cock hardened between his.

“I don’t wanna go…” He confessed against your neck in between needy kisses. His words were thick and laced with desire that you felt deep in your core.

You tugged enough on his roots to make him lift his head. “Your parents didn’t plan for a sleepover,” you reminded him softly with a tender kiss to his lips and followed it up with a couple more along his stubbled jawline. “And I’m sure they’ll be worried about you if you’re not home soon.”

Your palms were pressed against his chest and you chuckled as you felt the sigh before it actually left him. “Yeah, you’re right.” But that didn’t stop him from going in for yet another searing kiss that left you whimpering into his mouth. Each one the two of you shared left you longing for each other even more than before, unsure how that was even possible.

“You know if Remi was at their place–”

“I know you’d stay, Eiji.”

It meant the world to you just to hear him say it though. If he didn’t have obligations that he loved and took so very seriously, you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’d stay with you all night long. Doing whatever you wanted. Not pressing you for a single thing you weren’t ready for. You just knew that was the kind of guy he was.

“Good,” He murmured, “as long as you know.”

His hands trailed down your body, thumbs grazing your breasts ever so slightly on the way down to your plush hips where he squeezed affectionately, pulling you flush against him for another deep kiss before lifting you up again.

It had to be now, no matter how much the two of you didn’t want this night to end. “Call me when you’re home safe.” You said as you walked hand in hand to the door and this time when you rose to kiss him it was fully intentional and right on his lips that turned up into a lovable dopey grin when you pulled away.

“Always, sweets. Oh– turn around f’me would ya?”

You spun in front of him and his fingers found that zipper once again. He pulled it down nice and slow so you heard each of the teeth coming apart. He kissed your spine as the fabric split in two and stopped just above your tailbone, “so fuckin’ hard t’leave you.” He groaned and turned you back around for a final goodnight kiss that left you breathless and pinned against your doorway. “I’ll call ya soon.”

“You better! Drive safe!” You called as he walked down the hallway and he waited until your door closed and he heard the lock slide home before calling the elevator.

As he waited for it to arrive he still wore that child-like grin. And in the metal of the elevator doors, he could see blush still pooled in his cheeks and ran down the column of his neck.

He swore he could still taste you on his tongue and feel your softness against his palms, gods, he was never gonna forget a single thing about you or about this night. In the seconds that passed waiting for the elevator he found himself dreaming up future dates and nights out with you. Events that were coming up like the gala… maybe Remi could stay with his parents that night–

The downward arrow lit up and a bell chimed the elevator's arrival dragging him from various day dreams but when the doors slid open, Eijiro realized the small space wasn’t completely empty. One man stood inside. Black slacks and shiny shoes, dress shirt still on but he was missing his jacket and tie, and his red eyes under messy blonde hair looked appropriately exhausted when they met Eijiro’s.

Katsuki’s brows knitted together when he saw just who was waiting on the other side of the doors. “What’re you still doin’ here? You guys left hours ago– oh.” Understanding washed over his best friends face as he noticed a look of happiness on the man’s face that was so rare he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen it before. “Heh. It’s about fuckin' time.”

#mha #bnha #Kirishima #kirishima x reader #kirishima x y/n #Kirishima Fluff #Kirishima fic #red daddy riot #best red rock shark ♥️🦈#only literally #scar’s writing again 📕

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louloulemons-posts · 1 year

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Oil At The Coffee Shop I

Eddie Munson X Fem!Reader

Summary : Moving to the small town of Hawkins you hoped your journey would be a smooth one, what we hope for doesn’t always happen.

Word Count : 1.7k

Warnings : introduction, not much eddie x reader interaction, very rambley, bestie steve, sweetheart uncle wayne, grumpy eddie.

Fic Masterlist

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Moving away was scary, but you couldn’t stay put any longer. You knew if you didn’t move now then you would never leave, and you needed to go.

“That’s the last of it,” you brother smiled, putting a final box in your car. “You sure you’ll be okay without me?” you asked.

“Oh Im planning on calling you every day,” he smiled, “Seriously though, this is something for you. Aunt Callie wouldn’t have left it to you if she didn’t think so.”

“Only if you’re sure-“

“I am, now,” he turned from you, “Kids come say goodbye to your auntie.” Two children came running out of the house, their mother following behind.

“I’m gonna miss you so much,” you said squeezing them tight. “We miss you too,” your 2 year old niece spoke. “Will you come and see us?” your nephew asked.

“Of course Bud, and you can come and see me, and we can call!” Giving them one last squeeze you hugged your sister in law. “It’s gonna be strange not having you around, you take care of yourself okay?” she said.

“I will, and you too. Don’t let him start slacking off or I’ll come back and get him,” you laughed. “I’ll never slack off, now come here and hug me,” you brother smiled, opening his arms.

“I’m gonna miss you Scottie,” wrapping your arms around him. “I’ll miss you too Kid.” Rubbing your wet eyes and pulling away you climbed into your car. “Call us when you get there okay?” you sister in law spoke.

“Will do May, I’ll see you all soon!”

Soon enough you were off, driving away from your hometown to a small place called Hawkins.

You’d spent a lot of Summers there, your Aunt Callie had lived there. You’d spent your time playing in the lake and exploring the forest. It had been so much fun.

She had passed away a few months back, and soon you were sent a letter about her old shop. She’d left it for you.

If you weren’t swimming or running around you were in there with her. Helping her run the place for 3 weeks of the year. It was your escape, something you and Scott always looked forward too.

Hawkins had undergone some hard times, a serious of earthquakes and a whole bunch of nasty rumours. Now it was being built back up, physically and its reputation.

Your aunts shop, well your shop would be the next thing on that list. It would take a while to get there, but you hoped it would be an uneventful journey.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

It was not an uneventful journey, “I swear to god next time I see that mechanic I’m gonna beat his ass,” you ranted, your car had broke down, only half an hour away from where you had to be.

You knew there was something us with it, but the smarmy man had said no it’s all in your head. He was just too lazy to take a look. Groaning you dropped your head onto the wheel of your car.

A knock on your window caught you off guard, “You alright miss?” Looking up it was thankfully someone you recognised. “Chief Hopper!”

“My god, is that really you! I haven’t seen you in so long, how are you?”

“Great, I’m good. How are you?”

“Wonderful, what are you doing here?”

“I’m actually going to be running Callies old store. My car broke down though.”

“I see. Well I can ring a mechanic for you, stay with you until they get here.”

“Would you?”

“Course, Munsons are the best.”

“Old Wayne Munson?” You asked.

“That’s him.” He left to make a radio call from his car, giving them an idea of your location. “They’ll be here soon.”

“Thanks Hop, so how’s life treating you?”

“Life’s good right now, got a wife. Kids.”

“Finally had the guts to tell Joyce how you feel?” He nodded, chuckling. “And the kids?”

“Well her two boys, mine now. Jonathan and Will. Then we’ve got a daughter, El.”

“Callie mentioned, gosh I bet little Wills all grown up now.”

“He’s 19 in a few months.” You let out a sigh, “Man you’ve made me feel old.” Hop laughed at that.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

The catch up continued for a while, laughter and shared memories. Hopper was baffled by the fact Scott had a wife and kids of his own.

Soon enough a tow truck came driving up towards you, loud music playing. “Here we go,” Hopper said, motioning to the vehicle.

A man climbed out of the truck, clad in overalls and a grease stained white tee. Curly hair pulled into a bun on his head, hands cover in rings and tattoos here and there.

“Eddie, thanks for coming,” Hopper spoke.

“No worries, this the car?” he asked.

“Yeah it’s mine,” you motioned to yourself, and he met your eyes.

Dark eyes that looked like melted chocolate held your gaze. A face with light stubble, maybe from 2 days of not shaving. Wrinkles by his mouth, smile lines clearly, but darkness under his eyes.

He was beautiful. “Eddie this is Miss Callies niece,” he introduced you.

“Right, Eddie Munson. What happened?” he asked. “Well it was fine, it’s been making weird noises and then it just stopped. I had it checked over a few weeks ago but the guy wasn’t the best.”

“Well I’ll tow you into town, and then we can sort everything out at the shop.” He walked to grab his gear from the back of the truck.

“Great. Thanks for staying with me Hop,” you smiled at the older man. “Sure thing, Eddie you alright to take her into town.”

“Sure, you can get in. I’ll be with you in a minute,” he spoke, he voice was dull. Almost like he was bored, or tired or both.

Saying goodbye to Hopper you climbed in the van, waiting for Eddie to connect your car to the van.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Here we are,” Eddie spoke as you pulled into a mechanics shop. This was the first time he’d said a word since you left Hopper. You’d tried to make conversations, only met with grunts and hums.

Climbing out you saw a few other guys around the shop. A older man walked over to you, “Hey Son, this the one Hop called in?”

“Yeah Wayne, says there’s been a strange sound. Had it checked a few weeks back but not thorough.”

“We’ll get it sorted for you,” the man, Wayne, smiled softly at you.

He had a kind face, old and worn, but you could tell he was a gentle soul. “Thank you so much, you don’t happen to have a phone I could use do you. It’s just I’m moving here today and all my stuff is in the car.”

“You got someone who can help?” Wayne asked. You nodded, “Right, okay come with me.” Wayne led you into an office space, a phone on the desk. “Take as long as you need, I’ll help Eddie check it over.”

Dialling a number in, you waited for it to ring. “Harrington.”

“Stevie,” you smiled, he spoke your name, “How are you?” he asked.

“I’m okay, I’m really sorry to ask though, can you help me out?”

“Sure, what do you need from me love?”

“Think you could come and get me and my stuff from Munsons Mechanics?”

“I’m on my way, I’ll be there soon.”

“Thanks Steve, you’re the best.”

“Oh tell me something I don’t know.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

A maroon BMW pulled up. You’d met Steve good few summers ago, he’d been playing basketball with your brother. You’d become fast friends, he was a sweetheart, a flirt, but a sweetheart.

He spoke your name, smiling widely. “Steve!” you grinned, he wrapped his arms around you tightly. “Hello you, god I’ve missed you,” he said.

“Thank you for coming.”

“Course.”

“Hey Mister Munson, would I be okay to start moving my stuff?” you asked the older man. “Sure, I’ve got some paperwork for you to fill out too.”

“You go do that and I’ll start moving your stuff,” Steve said, squeezing your shoulder.

“Harrington.”

“Munson, how you doing?”

“I’m alright. What are you doing here?”

“Picking up my friend,” he nodded over to you, who was currently filling in paperwork. Chatting away to Wayne as she did.

“You know her?”

“Mhm, childhood friends, Callies niece.”

“I’ve heard, never seen her.”

“She used to come every summer with her brother, makes sense you didn’t see her, was when you just moved here.”

He hummed, as Steve went and moved boxes between cars. “Right that’s the paperwork sorted, we’ll give you a call when it’s all ready.”

“Great, do I need to pay a deposit, I’ve got my purse.”

“We don’t really do that ‘round here, small town and all.”

“Oh I insist,” you pulled out a 50 and passed it to the man, smiling at him softly. “At least for fuel money for you coming to get me.”

“That’s very kind. Did you want help with the boxes?”

“Oh no it’s okay, I haven’t got much.” Smiling again at the man, you walked over to help Steve move the last few boxes.

“Thank you for the help, it was nice meeting you,” you spoke to Wayne.

“Course, we’ll give you a call. Nodding you climbed in besides Steve, “Thank you too Eddie.” He gave a grunt of your welcome and you were on your way.

“God I can’t believe you’re staying! It’s so exciting,” Steve said happily.

“It is, I’ve got a lock of work to do though. I know those earthquakes did a lot of damage to the shop.”

“I’ll help you fix it up, sure the others can too. Does anyone else know you’re coming into town?”

“A couple people, I mean Hopper was the one who helped me out when my car broke down.”

“Ah right, well Wayne and Eddie will get it fixed up in no time.”

“Don’t think Eddie likes me all that much,” you huffed a laugh. “Don’t worry about him, he’s grumpy all the time.” Nodding you head, you couldn’t help smiling when the shop came into view.

Climbing out of the car Steve spoke, “You go open up and I’ll start grabbing stuff.” Walking towards the door, you used the code to unlock where the key was kept.

Pushing it open a wave of memories took over, some new ones were about to be made.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

A/N: AHHHH! It is here, the first part of Oil At The Coffee Shop. I can’t wait for you guys to find out what’s to come I hope you like it 🤍

Thank you so much for reading 🤍

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lilislegacy · 5 months

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I want you to know that I have always been 100% team percy and annabheh not having kids especially not biological. I avidly defended it to so many people for so many years. But seeing your posts about them as parents and how their kids would be and their silly family dynamics has totally made me grow a soft spot for the idea. Then yesterday your analysis that you gave in response to that ask did me in. Like when you talked about the kids having a lot of their parents in them but also being their own people 😭

When you said “personally, i think greek demigods having kids is rare. even if they live long enough, they don’t want to bring kids into the world, risking them attracting monsters. which is why i think percy and annabeth wanting children - and wanting them so badly, even at the height of being miserable teenage demigods - is so beautiful and incredible. it’s such a beautiful bright light of hope in all the darkness of the demigod world” really touched something deep inside me. I think I am now 100% team percabeth having babies. I am not sure how you did that to me after so many years of being so anti-kid for them but somehow you did.

How dare you make me feel emotions like this 😤

omg lol this made me smile and laugh

first off, i want to say that my goal is never to change people’s opinions. i personally love the idea of percy and annabeth having kids, and it makes me happy to share my headcanons, but it’s never done with the intention of changing people’s minds. all headcanons are valid.

that said, i’m very happy to hear you’ve joined the club. to me, percy and annabeth having kids just make sense. it just feels right. it proves that they won. they didn’t let the gods or the monsters tear them down. they fought hard for their future and didn’t let anyone scare them into not doing what they want. if they want kids, they’ll have kids goddammit! and it presents a future for them filled with so much love and joy and excitement. it just makes me happy for them. they deserve it. and like i said in my analysis/response yesterday, i don’t think its common for greek demigods to have kids. i recognize that it’s dangerous and scary. but i think true happiness for percy and annabeth involves having a family together. especially since that’s canonically what they want. their kids would be amazing, and annabeth and percy would be an amazing mom and dad. they are the ultimate parenting team.

so welcome aboard. it’s very happy here 🥰

#anon ask #answered ask #percabeth #percababies #percy jackson #annabeth chase #pjo #heroes of olympus

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dummiprxncess · 1 month

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Living with BPD Living with BPD feels like being stuck in a never-ending emotional storm that I can’t control. One minute, everything seems okay, and the next, it’s like my whole world is crashing down around me, and I have no idea why. It’s like there’s no middle ground—I’m either feeling everything so intensely that I can’t handle it, or I’m completely numb, just trying to get through the day. Relationships are so freaking hard. I want to be close to people, to have friends and feel like I belong, but it’s like my brain won’t let me. I’m always scared that they’ll leave me, that I’ll say something wrong or do something stupid, and they’ll decide I’m not worth it. So, sometimes I push them away first, just to protect myself from getting hurt, even though that’s the opposite of what I actually want. It’s like I’m sabotaging my own happiness, and I hate myself for it, but I don’t know how to stop. And the self-hate? It’s brutal. I can’t even look in the mirror without picking myself apart, mentally listing all the reasons why I’m not good enough. It’s like this voice in my head that never shuts up, constantly reminding me that I’m broken, that I’m not worth anyone’s time. No matter how hard I try to be positive or listen when people tell me they care, it’s like I can’t believe them. I just keep thinking, “If they really knew me, they’d leave too.” I overthink everything. Like, literally everything. I replay conversations in my head, wondering if I said the wrong thing, if I came off too clingy or too distant. It’s exhausting, always second-guessing myself and feeling like I’m messing everything up. And when something does go wrong, I blame myself completely, even if it wasn’t entirely my fault. I just feel like I’m always screwing things up, and I can’t seem to do anything right. The guilt is suffocating. I feel guilty for being like this, for not being able to just “get over it” or be normal. I hate that I’m so emotional, so needy, so afraid of being abandoned. I hate that I can’t just chill and let things be. Instead, I’m always worried, always on edge, always feeling like I’m a burden to everyone around me. And that makes it even harder to reach out when I need help because I don’t want to be “that person” who’s always dragging others down. Living with BPD feels like being on a roller coaster I never asked to ride. The highs can be great, but they never last, and the lows are so low that I can’t see a way out. It’s not just being sad—it’s like this deep, overwhelming despair that makes everything seem pointless. Even when things are going okay, there’s this constant anxiety in the back of my mind, like I’m just waiting for it all to fall apart. It’s hard to feel safe when my own brain is my biggest enemy, always telling me that disaster is just around the corner. I just want some peace, some stability, but it feels like that’s impossible. I’ve tried so many things—therapy, meds, self-care stuff—but nothing seems to really work for long. I keep hoping that maybe the next thing will help, that maybe I’ll finally find a way to manage all this chaos in my head. But honestly? It’s hard to hold onto that hope when everyday feels like a struggle just to get by. It’s hard to believe that things will ever really get better when it feels like I’ve been stuck in this cycle forever. I wish I could turn off my brain, even just for a little while. I wish I could stop feeling so much all the time, stop being so scared and anxious and guilty. I wish I could trust myself, trust others, and believe that everything’s going to be okay. But I don’t. All I can do is keep going, keep trying, even when it feels like I’m barely holding on. I want to believe that there’s a way out of this, that there’s a future where I’m not always fighting against myself. But right now, it’s hard to see that future. Right now, it just feels like I’m stuck in this storm, trying to survive.

#bpd #actually bpd #bpd vent #bpd thoughts #actually borderline #bpd mood #borderlinepersonality

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ageofzero · 8 months

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Yuna is the antagonist of a potential Final Fantasy X-3, thank you for coming to my TED Talk

edit: okay I'll put it under a read more since it'll be a long post (but not as long as my entire conversation was), but what's promised is due.

Now that I have to make the post for real I had to do some wiki reading on what the actual Things going on in the novella were, and… well, a lot of my theorycrafting was based on incomplete and kinda inaccurate information. BUT I can’t read Japanese, the book was never released here, and I am going to go with rule of cool for a little bit of this even as I keep the stuff that sounds kinda dumb on the surface. I’ll be the first to say that Tidus exploding from a bomb he thinks is a blitzball is dumb (true), and Chuami thinking she’s Auron’s daughter is a dumb plot beat (petty), but I’m weaving this bridge and I’m not going to rewrite those. I am going to change some contexts and make them exist in a narrative that I hope is compelling. That’s my disclaimer, now I’m gonna get into it.

SO.

The scenario from the novella and audio drama is thus: Tidus died again in an accident, and Yuna brings him back. But he’s not back in the same way that the Fayth gave this dream a real living body at the end of X-2. The official term for it is “beckoned”, but I probably won’t use that to describe him based on my previous understanding. No matter if he’s beckoned or not, or whatever terminology you want to use, the thing is that Yuna summoned him back. She’s holding him to life, and he can never know. It’s been a year since the moment Tidus died, and Yuna has seemingly regressed into patterns that put her into what was once Yevon’s circle. Tidus is looking injured/weakened (“Chuami: It wasn’t just [Tidus’s] words that felt hollow. When I shook his hand, his grip felt weak and lifeless... I think he’s injured. Or maybe he’s sick or something.”), and people are looking to Yuna for help or information regarding the strange not-quite Unsent (the beckoned) that are appearing in places in Spira. Help she is not capable of giving. Wakka and Lulu are protecting her as she prays in Besaid Temple. The world is seemingly acting out, with a second shoopuf appearing in the Moonflow and its energies overflowing and drawing more illusions into reality. (“Yuna: The Moonflow energy is responding to the will of the living. It’s as if… we’re in the Farplane.”) And it’s more vivid than what the Farplane is capable of, even breaking the rules of “beckoning”. This is something new, something worse. Something worse enough to bring back Sin (which I thought was just me extrapolating a potential, but they actually mention it in the audio drama that it happens). Yuna promises the people that she will defeat Sin, but Wakka tries to keep her from being made to promise such a thing at first, which is an interesting choice (“Wakka: Yuna, let’s go back to Besaid. They’ll push this all on you… Sin is for summoners, in their minds.”).

Where does the world go in this present circumstances? Why IS Yuna seemingly content to do what chafed her in the Eternal Calm short movie and stay praying in Besaid and helping the elders who are lost now that Yevon as they knew it is in shambles? Why are Lulu and Wakka enabling and protecting her in that? Why is Tidus looking injured and weak and why is Yuna keeping him at arm’s length? Why does she tell him that she’s fallen in love with someone else?

I know the typical story beat interpretation is “Yuna told him that and pushed him away so he wouldn’t be in danger for what she needs to do, bc defeating Sin caused his death last time”. But hear me out. Yuna knows Tidus isn’t alive. She knows that revealing that information to him will cause him to disappear again. She’s actively summoning him back to life and he has no idea (but he must suspect something is wrong, even before Yuna formally pulls away from him, he’s weakening and he probably doesn’t feel right in his own skin). I posit that her maintaining Tidus’s life is what she’s really doing praying in the Besaid Temple. She doesn’t want to get involved with the Moonflow situation, the shoopuf or the overflowing energy of the Moonflow itself. She doesn’t even really act when seeing all the ghosts in the crowd, and actively stops Kurgum from acting (plausible deniability: she and everyone else decide that sending them in that moment would be the wrong call and riots would break out, but that density of ghosts means that’s a significant amount of pyreflies that could become fiends at any moment).

I posit that Yuna’s powers are working, that people close to her think her powers aren’t working (Lulu and Wakka), and she’s hiding it from everyone else. That her powers aren’t working because she’s currently using them to maintain Tidus’s existence. And this maintaining is breaking the Farplane in half, because she’s powerful but has no idea what she’s doing. (Why would she really know what she’s doing or the consequences? Who has any information of what she’s doing and what will happen if she does it?) I posit that Yuna’s love for Tidus is so strong that it corrupts her sense of right and wrong. X-2 is Yuna largely going on a personal quest, and incidentally helping people but separating herself from the title of High Summoner and doing something she wants to do. Rikku encourages her to do something for herself for a change right before she agrees and runs off to become a sphere hunter. She still saves the world, this time from an ancient danger Old Yevon buried and an Unsent is threatening to use (for love, notably), but she did it in the course of looking for Tidus. Who the Fayth return to life, who she hugs and is so so relieved to have in her arms again.

She’s not going to let him go, she couldn’t let him die again so much that she called him back to life.

(side note: I never truly knew how this happened so I had to consult the wiki page on the novella, and I suspect what original information I was working with was misrepresented and misinterpreted. I openly admit that the wiki page doesn’t really help me fully understand what happened, aside from explaining how Tidus ended up in proximity to a bomb. My understanding from someone’s explanation was that an Unsent summoner on the island Yuna and Tidus got washed up on after a storm told her she could call back the dead if she wanted, as a summoner. They’re all made of pyreflies, Aeons and Fiends and People and Unsent alike, and summoners are in the business of manipulating pyreflies. Either calling them from the Fayth to form an Aeon, or Sending them to the Farplane so they do not become Fiends. A summoner with enough power could summon someone back from the dead, could they not? And this Unsent summoner knew how it worked, and told Yuna how to do it. But I don’t know how real that scene could be, or how accurate it is to what’s written in the book. It’s my rule of cool moment, though, and I worked with that as my understanding when I made this theory. We have to make our peace with that, if you’ll allow me this extrapolation of Spira’s rules and a summoner’s powers.)

(The meme is Tidus kicking a blitzball and it turned out it was a bomb and his head gets blown off, but wiki says they ended up on a vision of a Besaid from 1000 years ago, and the bomb was something neither Tidus or Yuna had seen before and to them it looked like a blitzball. So, Tidus approached what he thought was a blitzball, wondering who’s ball it was, and it exploded as he reached it. I still think that’s really dumb but I’m not editing it out bc Tidus’s death creates very interesting consequences.)

So, if Yuna is summoning Tidus back to life, and she desperately doesn’t want him to find this out so she avoids him and pushes him away through any means necessary, but he’s still weakening and fading enough to be noticeable by people… perhaps also himself… Yuna returning to Yevon in some capacity could just as likely be her looking for a means to keep feeding power to this summoning she’s doing so she doesn’t lose him. And what kind of consequences does it have to do this? He’s being summoned, but he’s not actually an Aeon. He’s not an Unsent, he’s not just being beckoned. He wasn’t even real, he was a dream in a summon held together by the raw power of Yu Yevon turning into Sin. The Moonflow overflowing and seeing a long-dead shoopuf is the least of the consequences. The Farplane is delicate, it requires careful maintenance, and here Yuna is shoving her foot in the door and holding it open for a solid year! And no one knows she’s doing this! Spira’s past is full of history, some of that long-buried secrets that no one was supposed to find again. Sin wasn’t supposed to be able to come back, but the ghosts aren’t staying ghosts anymore (“Lulu: I mean Sin came back, right? What’s to stop anything else from coming back?”).

Even people who only know her by reputation seem to think she’s acting strangely (“Kurgum: I thought Lady Yuna was… a righteous person.”), because something is wrong and no one can put their finger on what. Who would have the pieces to put any of this together, and who would even suspect Yuna in the first place? She’s actively not getting involved in politics, she’s locked herself in Besaid, she seems reluctant to answer someone she worked with and should be amicable with now (Baralai).

I think the story should follow down this path, I think it should find Yuna at the end of it, once savior and now destroyer. She’s willing to let the world rip apart in order to keep Tidus, and I think that’s a compelling premise for X-3. The past surging forward like ghosts, vengeful and lost and wanted and terrifying. Who sides with Yuna (Wakka, Lulu) and covers up the problem? Who bands together to face down the High Summoner (Tidus, Rikku)? Who doesn’t know where to place their allegiance, or who changes sides when they realize the extent of what Yuna’s hiding? What does she do when she’s faced with her friends, and the person she loves so much, telling her to stop?

There’s a line in Eternal Calm where Yaibal (named in X-2 but not in the movie itself), after asking about whether or not she’d be joining one of the factions, if she’d be making a faction of her own. And I think in this potential X-3, she’s making her own faction through the actions of becoming antagonist. She’s made Wakka cover for her, she acts in a way that make Lulu and Wakka both protect her regardless of whether or not they know what she’s doing. I think it would be so fascinating to make this a conscious decision on her part. Things have broken so utterly, and she’s desperate to hold them together, and becomes the antagonist in the process.

Squeenix would never do it, they’d never be so bold as to make Yuna the antagonist and follow through on this trajectory of her lying to people to hide that she’s the one breaking the world in half (up to returning the ghost of Sin itself to terrorize Spira). Sin isn’t the final boss in this one, it’d have to be Yuna, we have to stop her and fix what went wrong. It’s not ever gonna happen, but I still think Yuna should be the antagonist of X-3.

#Final Fantasy X #Final Fantasy X-2 #Final Fantasy X-3 #FFX #FF10 #meta #theorycrafting #personal #Let me weave you a really compelling bridge out of the malarky I know of post X-2 content #I promise you that Yuna is the antagonist in this scenario and Squeenix are cowards who’d never do it #Tega writes #it's under the read more #I did not go whole hog into the entire plotting out I did I've just introduced the premise #I had a deep conversation with my RBB writer involving my interpretations #He introduced other ideas that were rad #I don't have an exit strategy though #as in I have no idea how the game would resolve in this projected scenario #or how I would WANT it to resolve #I came up with a ''good'' ending that's tailor made to feel bad about your choices lmao #but that's not what I think the true ending would be #anyway none of that is specifically about how Yuna should be the antagonist #it's more like the delicious possibilities while the plot leads you to that conclusion #there was a lot and I already wrote nearly 2k words just to explain this much #I have to sort out the rest still it's stream of consciousness discord messages

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tgmsunmontue · 2 months

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Caring, Keeping and Collecting Transformers - A Guide 5/?

Maverick is unknowingly surrounded by Transformers. He knows something is up though. Just not quite what it is exactly.

Bradley and Jake, having never met, are embarking on their own journeys and will have to learn to deal with the fact that they've both been adopted by Transformers.

Despite having years more experience, Maverick is no help at all.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

“Admiral.”

“How should I address you?” Tom asks, because he’s spoken to Mav’s P51 plenty, been jealous of it even, however it’s never spoken back. That one time he kicked the wheel it a fit of pique is currently haunting him.

“You can call me Sally,” she states, and Tom raises an eyebrow. “I like the song.”

He nods, and he wonders if all the ammunition he can see is live. He’s guessing so, and he knows it isn’t helping his blood pressure right now. He doesn’t want to be caught in a firefight if things do go south.

“Please relax Admiral. I do not hold your past actions against you. Maverick is a difficult man to manage.” Tom blinks, wonders how the hell he is somehow commiserating with a Transformer over dealing with Maverick’s antics. “As annoying as he might be, I would never let any harm come to him. Not while I was letting him pretend he is in charge.”

Tom’s lips twitch in amusement at that, and then he decides to just outright grin, a little disbelieving laugh escaping him as he considers the fact that all this time Maverick thinks he’s been flying the P51 it’s been because a Transformer has been gracious enough to let him pretend make believe. He really wants to make sure he’s around to see Mav have that realization. He needs to gather information, pretty sure the conflict resolution and managing difficult people workshops can be applied to Transformers and humans alike. God he hopes so.

“Starscream was it? I’d like to talk to you.”

“Sir! I can’t –” the Transformer who’d driven him here at breakneck speed tries to interject, and Tom can tell he’s military of some sort by the way he instantly falls quiet at the sharp look Tom gives him.

“I appreciate your concern, however I believe I am in charge here and I will speak to whom I think necessary. I doubt Starscream will do anything when all he seems to want is help with having Jetfire fixed. And that help is hopefully on the way.”

“Walk with me,” Tom instructs Starscream, and his tone doesn’t invite argument, but he can tell that the other Transformer is not used to accepting or following orders, no matter how much he wants to or not.

… … …

“Do you think they’ll be okay?” Bradley asks and Jake looks at where Starscream and Admiral Kazansky have walked off down the runway. The other Transformers have watched them go with suspicious eyes, the Jeep, Hound, hasn’t stopped grumbling under his breath, what looks like a weird smoking grenade launcher rolling around his lips the same way Jake worries a toothpick when he’s nervous or mentally working through something.

“He’s mouthy and sarcastic, seems to think he knows… well, everything. But he does care about Jetfire. I think he would have killed me if he’d thought I was responsible for their condition.”

“So… how long have you known about Transformers then?”

“Only a few days,” Jake admits. “I’m on leave for four weeks and I get a feeling I’m going to be spending it here.”

“Yeah, maybe. Can you show me Jetfire?”

“Sure.”

He leads Bradley to the horse truck and pulls himself up, feels him closely follow and then they’re standing there looking at the broken pieces of Jetfire. It’s obvious from looking at them all that Jetfire is a larger Transformer, like Sally or Starscream.

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah. You think Maverick knows about Transformers?” Jake asks, and he still can’t believe that the man he’s been idolizing for years, along with Admiral Kazansky, are now people that will know he exists, or will do shortly once Maverick arrives. He’s not entirely sure this is a good thing.

“If he does, he’s managed to keep it a secret. Mav isn’t the most, uh, subtle of people.”

Jake snorts, because a man like Maverick does not get the reputation he has by being subtle or a shrinking violet. Or by following the rules. He just skirts beside them and holds his hand over the line.

“Pretty cool guy to have as your godfather. Have someone giving you tips about flying.”

Bradley snorts then and Jake turns to look at him, takes in the twist of lips and sad-angry-annoyed look. He can’t quite place it, but they’ve just met.

“Yeah, you’d think. My dad was a RIO. He died when I was three.”

“Oh shit. Sorry man.”

Bradley shrugs, kneels down to look at some part of Jetfire and he takes it as the very obvious change of subject Bradley wants it to be.

… … …

Tom isn’t sure he should be having this conversation when none of his superiors know about it, however he also didn’t get to where he is without improvising and using his initiative.

“Are you here to attack us? Attack Earth?”

“No. I’m not even here to attack the Autobots, even if they deserve it.”

Tom decides to leave that statement alone for now.

“And what do you want right now?”

“My friend rebuilt and recharged.”

“And do we have that capability?” Tom asks, because while he might know Transformers exist he has no in depth knowledge about their general inner workings. The idea that Mav might, and doesn’t even know that he’s been working on them for years, well, a lot of things slot into place. Vehicles just appearing. The Bronco being one of them. Huh.

“There are rumors,” Starscream mutters and Tom raises an eyebrow.

“Rumors? You travelled here without first confirming it is actually possible?”

“Wouldn’t you? If it were your only hope?”

Oh.

Tom understands that feeling of desperation well enough.

“Okay. I will do everything in my power to assist you.”

“On what condition?” Starscream replies, staring at what Tom assumes is the horizon, although he can probably see further than a human. He’s smart, he’ll give him that.

“You remain neutral. You do not attack anyone on Earth. Or our allies.”

Starscream makes a noise Tom can only classify as a scoff, although it sounds mechanical and grating, like he’s annoyed.

“And if it’s in self-defense?

“As long as you can prove it was self-defense, you’ll have my support. For now, you’re under my protection.”

Starscream makes the same sound again, and Tom knows it probably seems ridiculous to a Transformer of Starscream’s size that Tom can offer any protection, but he shrugs, because either Starscream will accept it or he won’t.

“For until I leave Earth I swear a vow of neutrality. I will only raise arms against those that do myself harm. Or Jetfire harm.”

Tom doesn’t know how deep the bonds between Transformers go, but he nods.

“Accepted.”

God he hopes he doesn’t lose his job over this.

… … …

He can see the dust cloud and hear the roar of engine before he can see Maverick, although he’s there soon enough. Bradley scrambles down from the horse truck and walks toward him, not quite sure how to approach him after nearly eight years of radio silence. Jake is following closely behind him, Ice and Starscream about two-thirds back up the run-way and walking toward them. He desperately wants to know what they’ve talked about. Instead he’s got Mav staring at him like he can’t believe he’s there. Like somehow Bradley is somehow the oddest thing to look at when there are dozens of Transformers standing around.

“Bradley?”

“Hey Mav…”

“What? What are you doing here?”

“Maverick!” Ice calls out, and he’s striding back toward them, legs fully stretching out like he’s resisting the urge to run.

“Ice… Bradley’s here.”

The look Ice gives Mav is fond, less fond when he then looks to Bradley.

“Yes. He is.”

“I thought –”

“I know what you thought. Captain Mitchell I need you to pay attention.”

Bradley blinks. He’s never heard Ice call Mav anything other than Maverick. Or Pete. Or Mav… The fact that he’s just used his title means that he’s legit pulling rank and it must not happen very often because Mav is shifting and straightening up, looking around then, eyes widening as he registers the actual fucking Transformers assembled around them.

“Holy shit… what is going on?”

“You don’t recognize them?” Ice asks, his gaze serious, and Bradley realizes that Ice is very firmly in work mode right now. It’s a little bit terrifying to see.

“Not like this I don’t… But I always wondered… fucking hell. I knew something was up!”

Bradley can’t help it, is staring at the motorbike Mav arrived on expectantly, waiting for it to change; knows Jake and Ice are sort of expecting it as well.

“Uh… why… wait. What the… you can stop staring at the bike, it’s just a regular old normal machine,” Mav says, waving his hand dismissively, staring in open-mouthed wonder as he approaches the line of watching Transformers. “Oh my god. You’re my Kawasaki…”

“Ninja,” Ninja provides, and then Bradley can’t believe it but Mav is hugging it.

“Thank you. For saving me that time.”

“What time?” Ice interjects.

“Oh, years ago now. I had a motorbike accident and went over the side of the cliff.”

“Hmpf. Stupid way of trying to kill yourself,” Ninja says and Bradley doesn’t miss the clenching muscles in Ice’s jaw. He wonders just how many years ago they’re talking, wonders what he’s missed, stomach clenching at the idea that maybe this is something recent. Ice looks similarly concerned, although Bradley doesn’t think they’re going to get any answers right now. Mav has moved to stand in front of Sally, the look on his face one of awe.

“You’re beautiful…”

“Thank you Maverick. You do tell me that fairly regularly.”

“Oh my god, this is amazing. Ice! Isn’t this amazing?”

“It’s certainly something alright…” Ice says, and Bradley shares a look with Jake, because Ice seems less than pleased.

“Did you know about them?”

“I have a sufficiently high security clearance. I had never met any before today though.”

“We are meant to keep our existence… secret,” Sally states, and her whole demeanor is radiating disapproval, however it seems to be aimed at the other Transformers. Neither Bronco or Starscream seem to care, and Hound just huffs, the sound accompanied by a cloud of smoke and sparks.

“It has been a secret. If there was any chance Maverick could have had a conversation with a plane there is no way I wasn’t hearing about it.”

The smile Maverick gives Ice is wide and happy and Bradley’s stomach twists a little, feels like an outsider to their relationship now.

“Are we sharing secrets?” Bronco asks, and his tone of voice is low, like he’s not grumpy and Bradley wonders what other secrets there could be that are on par with the fact he’s been driving around a transforming robot for several years. God. Did he ever actually learn to drive?

“What secrets…” Bradley mutters, looking between the Transformers and then also Mav and Ice, who have both gone still. Bronco is staring at them and Bradley isn’t used to reading the expression on his face yet, but he’s put money on him being pissed.

“He pulled your application at your mother’s request.”

SIX

#Caring Keeping and Collecting Transformers - A Guide #hangster #Top Gun Maverick #AU #TF and TGM crossover

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just-an-anon-reader · 2 years

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Hugs, Gifts and PIZZA

Summary: Donnie hasn’t seen you for two weeks. He needs your hugs. Bad. But little does he know about the surprise in store for him

P.S. Hello again! Thank you all for the love on my first story! They really inspired me to continue writing! So here’s another Rise!Donnie x GN!Reader. I hope you enjoy. (≧∇≦）

He held his phone with trembling fingers as excitement coursed through his veins. It was the weekend, finally. And he was gonna ask you out, again. It’s been almost two weeks since you’ve done something remotely romantic. Especially with you running off with your best friend, April O’Neil, every chance you got recently. And after two weeks of no hangouts or hugs from you, Donatello had a date plan. And it was going to be perfect, his calculations said so. All that was left was for you to say yes. So, with a shaky finger, he dialed up your number.

Ring...ring...ring...

“Hey, Dee!”

The sweet sound of your voice was enough to warm his cold-blooded body. He really did miss you. But of course, he’d have to die first before admitting that to anyone, especially Leo.

“Salutations my darling dearest, as it is soon to be the weekend, would you happen to be free tomorrow?”

“Oh Dee, I’m so sorry. I already got plans with April this weekend.”

To say that Donnie wasn’t disappointed would be a lie. But he couldn’t just tell you that! He can't just say that he was in desperate need of your hugs! He had a bad boy image to maintain.

“Oh! I...I see. Some other time then.” “Definitely! Oh, April’s here. I gotta go. Love ya Dee!”

With that, the call ended. He slumped down and sighed in defeat. Were you avoiding him? Or was April just much more fun to be with? Sure he was known to go on a tangent when it came to his tech, but you didn’t seem to mind. You even said it was part of his charm once.

“Oof what’s with the long face? I’m guessing it was a no, huh?”

Donnie could only nod his head in reply as Mikey squatted down next to him. Sensing his older brother’s distress, Mikey switched to Doctor Feelings.

“Awh Donnie it’s alright. I’m sure they’re just busy. Trust me, the moment they’re free they’ll come rushing into your arms.”

The purple-clad turtle gave his brother a look. The “really?” look. Mikey could only manage an awkward chortle to Donnie’s reaction to his failed attempt at comforting him. There was only one thing, other than you, that could stop his brother from moping.

“Come on Donnie, let's go watch Leo fail at a 14/40.”

“That does sound tempting."

With a sigh and a grunt, Donnie and Mikey made their way toward the living room to challenge Leo to do a 14/40. Just to watch him land on his face with a bowl of popcorn at their side.

Somewhere in New York...

“April! It's done!!”

The pigtailed brunette came bounding towards you and skidded to a halt as her eyes landed on the glimmering item in front of you. She grinned. Almost maniacally.

“You’ve done it! It’s beautiful...It’s time to put the plan in action.”

“Agreed...”

A few days later...

Donnie, after a thirty-eight-hour tech binge and a three-hour nap, stepped into the lair’s living room to find it void of his dummy-dumb brothers. Suspicious. Even more so when he found his father’s glutei maximi not parked on its usual spot in front of the projector. This is most suspect indeed.

“I haven’t had my morning dose of caffeine. So whatever prank this may be better be AFTER I get my cup in.”

His voice echoed through the empty lair as it bounced against its walls. With a huff, he groggily made his way to the kitchen. Which, definitely was not suspicious, was caked in pitch blackness. Donnie groaned. Was a peaceful caffeinated morning too hard to ask for? Feeling around the darkness with hands outstretched, he felt the switch and flicked it on.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY DONNIE!”

That girlish scream you heard? It wasn’t from Donnie, no of course not. Must’ve been Leo.

“Hey, Dee! Happy birthday!”

Your present wrapped in purple paper with a cute violet ribbon in hand, you smiled and lifted your arms towards him. Silently asking for a hug. You’re lucky he loves you. And that he DESPERATELY needed your hugs.

“Come on, bring it in.”

Giddily, you wrap your arms around him. Cheek against his plastron as you give him a gentle squeeze which he reciprocates.

“Ugh come on! Don’t get mushy-wushy in front of the pizza!”

Leo grumbled, making choking sounds as if to make a point.

“Don’t mind the lovebirds fellas cuz it’s gift-giving time!”

Mikey was the first to give his. From somewhere behind him, he pulls a well-made wooden bust sculpture of Donnie. The likeness to its life model was uncanny. Second was Raph, with his Jupiter Jim plush toy. The newest bunk buddy. Next was April, with a new library card from her school. The premium kind. Then Splinter. Though he didn’t exactly have a gift. He just patted Donnie on the head. But man was this purple-clad turtle ECSTATIC. Last but not the least, was you.

“So...mine might not be as great as theirs, but I hope you like it.”

Pulling out the purple box from behind you, you gently place it in his hands. Carefully untying the bow, the box opens to reveal a beautiful, handmade purple satin jacket. On the back, embroidered in cursive were the words “Othello Von Ryan” along with his trademark.

“Did you make this?”

“I’m sorry for missing out on date nights. I had to ask April with the sewing.”

Only then did he notice the band-aids that littered your hands. There were too many for his liking. With a frown, Donnie slips on his new jacket and takes both your hands. Softly, he pressed a kiss on each palm. You giggled. A blush rising from the base of your neck to the tips of your ears.

“Ugh! Stop being a simp already!!”

“Scoff! I am NOT a simp. Also...why are you suspiciously nice today?”

“Hey! I’m always nice. And besides, call it, my birthday gift. From one twin to another.”

How suspect. Noticing you fidgeting from the corner of his eye, he gave you the look. The “I know you know something” look.

“So...you know how since you’re twins you both have to share birthdays? And how you get pranked every year? So I sorta...” “You didn’t” “I did” “What did it cost?” ... “Hegetstoeatasliceoutofyourshareofthepizzaforayear” ... “HE GETS WHAT?!!!! YOU SAID YES TO THAT??” “I love you?”

#rottmnt #rottmnt donnie x reader #rise!donnie #x reader #Leo being sus #today is not his birthday but google won’t tell me when #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt x reader

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chaosduckies · 4 months

Text

Restoration (Chapter 11)

The time has come! This took me about five drafts for me to actually think it was decent so I hope you guys enjoy it! There’s just a whole lot of little scenes I liked to make. It’s a roller coaster of emotions, you’re going to hate me but it gets better! (Please don’t hate me I will not hesitate to cry TwT) Otherwise, enjoy!

Word Count: 12.7k

CW: Death, Vague mentions of suicide, severe trauma, vague gore warning, violence, I think that’s it!

11- Ryker

It was quiet without Angela and Lucky. Mostly because Dylan and Lucky are almost always the cause of all the loud noises, but sometimes Angela and Isabelle just liked to play around. Now, it was lonely. Of course Nathan always let Angela talk with us on his phone for hours since we can always see Lucky at school, but Angela was being picked up by Nathan for almost a full week. Nathan says she’s been doing fine. She plays some games with his mom and he likes playin hide and seek with her when she’s bored. As for Lucky, Nathan says he’s just been doing his own thing. What he usually does. He also says that he’s on the phone with Dylan all the time too. Not surprising.

No worries though. They’ll be back before Christmas. There was no way I was letting them miss it. Plus, the riots and stuff have been going down lately. They can finally come home, and I really, really missed them. No matter how many times I’ve had to clean up after them or they’ve given me half a heart attack every time they’re on the edge of somewhere high in the house. They were my siblings, I couldn’t just not care.

Jasmine helped me take down all of the elevators around the house. The only bad part about that is that we can’t exactly put them back once they’re off, so it’s going to be like this until I can find the time to put some in later. They’ve never had a problem being carried around everywhere anyways.

I sighed, laying down on my bed and staring at the ceiling. There wasn’t anything to do really. Dylan stayed in his room talking to Lucky while also playing whatever game he had, Jasmine was in the living room playing with Isabelle since no one else could at the moment. Usually Angela kept her busy.

“Ry!” I heard Jasmine’s voice yell through my door. I groaned. I didn’t feel like getting up. I just laid down not too long ago, can I not get a break?

“What!” I screamed back.

“Isabelle says she’s hungry!”

I placed a hand on my forehead, forcing my body under the covers. I was too tired to do anything, but I’m pretty sure we have some leftovers from last night she could eat. Jasmine and Dylan can make themselves something. I just wanted to get some sleep at this point.

“There’s leftovers in the fridge!”

I heard the fridge door open and close, then the microwave starting all the way from my room. I finally relaxed, the pillow cold under my head and my lights off with the blinds closed, blocking out any evening sun that threatened to creep inside my room. Perfect time to go to sleep. the best part about it was that I didn’t have school in the morning either. I was so physically and mentally exhausted I could just pass out. And I did.

——————

When I woke up, it was to the smell of burnt pancake batter, making me scrunch up my nose and hurry to the kitchen, where Jasmine was currently throwing out her entire plate of pancakes that were beyond burnt. I laughed, watching her hurry to turn off the stove that was surprisingly not on fire. Jasmine just glared at me, leaning agianst the counter in defeat. I walked up next to her, smirking the entire time, “You just lost to pancake batter.”

She playfully punched me in the shoulder, laughing along with me. I looked back at the box she had used, seeing that there was still enough for the four of us. I sighed, grabbing another bowl and placing the old one into the sink. Might as well make the rest if they really wanted pancakes.

“Why’d you try cooking? You hate being anywhere near a stove.” I asked, mixing together the powder with milk.

“You were asleep.” Her voice slightly a higher pitch. I looked back at her for a second, watching as she tapped her hand on the counter.

“What else?” I grabbed a new pan that didn’t have burnt remains of pancakes and turned on the stove. Dylan knew how to cook a little bit. Jasmine would have woken him up to help her. So why didn’t she?

“Nothing. Isabelle and I woke up about an hour ago and she just told me she was hungry.” Jasmine shrugged her shoulders. I poured some of the newly made batter into a pan and let it sit there for a couple seconds. She wasn’t going to tell me. At least not anytime soon. Better to just accept her answers now before she gets mad.

I stayed silent until Dylan walked into the room, immediately sitting down on top of the counter and yawning. He scrunched up his nose, the faint smell of smoke in the air, “What did Jasmine burn this time?” He joked, earning a punch to the shoulder that actually looked like it hurt.

Everyone grabbed their plates, and we all watched a cartoon in the living room. It just felt quiet without Dylan and Lucky constantly messing around with each other or Isabelle and Angela playing with their stuffed animals. I knew we all missed them. Just two more days. Two more days and they’ll be back with us. Everything was going to go back to normal. I’d really have to thank Nathan and his mom for helping us out so much. I smiled at the thought.

———Nathan———

Despite there being two more people in the house, is was actually relatively quiet. Which was surprising given that Ryker’s house was usually filled with a huge commotion. Maybe it was because they were away from each other? I really did feel bad. I mean, they all seemed really close to one another. Plus after Ryker told me what happened to their parents… It must be hard. I couldn’t think about leaving my mom for any reason, so it must be so much worse when it’s your own siblings.

They were going back this Sunday. Things have gone down and it’s nearly Christmas so I didn’t want them to miss that. Lucky was taking a nap on the couch while Angela was busy with a coloring book my mom had bought her the other day. She was currently coloring a picture of a parrot, and for a four year old she was surprisingly good at coloring. My mom was cooking dinner. I offered to do it instead but she just argued that she hasn’t cooked for me in a while. I just left it at that.

So now I was laying down on the couch. School was out for winter break finally. Which meant only five more months until I would be left alone again. Just my mom and I. I didn’t plan on going to college, maybe just a part time job. After what happened so many years ago I’ve been afraid to live on my own. But let’s not think about that right now.

What I was worried about was what if Ryker didn’t like the present I would be giving him. The concert tickets of course. They didn’t really cost much. Like a seventy dollars for two tickets? Not bad. I had bought everyone else’s gifts except for Dylan’s. I knew he liked sports and all that, but I couldn’t get him something like that. I had zero idea and I really needed to ask Lucky what to get him, because I’m pretty sure Lucky had bought something for him before he came here. I’d just have to ask. Not now though.

I know Ryker loves reading, drawing, cooking. What else? Lucky mentioned something about sweets? Like cookies and all that? How would I even do that? I can’t just bake something fifty times my size. I had thought about buying something like a cake but how would I even get it to him? I mean… I could ask for help. Maybe from Jasmine? Nope. Get that thought out of my mind. She hates my guts. Dylan then? That would mean I’d have to ask him for a favor, and I didn’t really want to. But how else would I give Ryker a good gift?

I guess that’s what I would do. But instead of buying one I’d ask Dylan to make it using my recipe. Would he though? I mean he seems like a nice guy. I guess the real question would be if I could be alone with him for about two hours. Or if could handle it at least. I’ve really only been around Ryker.

——————

After we ate dinner, it was around 7 but Angela already looked exhausted. My mom set her to sleep in the guest room before leaving for work. I didn’t get why she always overworked herself. I knew she was tired too, but yet she stays awake almost all day to take care of us, and then leaves for work at night. When it was just me here as soon as she came back she’d give me a hug, take a shower, and then head to bed until it was later in the evening. I guess having more people in the house is making her think she has to stay up. I can take care of everyone. I didn’t mind playing around with Angela, I didn’t mind joking Lucky in a game, or going outside with everyone. I also didn’t mind cooking for more than just two people. So I didn’t exactly know why she stayed awake when she was so tired.

“I can’t wait to head back home alreadyyyy.” Lucky groaned, the tv playing quietly in the background. He was on his phone while l sat reading a book as usual.

“Sorry.” I mumbled, closing my book and turning my head to face the tv that was currently playing a movie about some cops trying to catch a serial killer or something like that. I wasn’t paying attention.

Lucky stayed quiet for a while before facing me, “Sorry for what?”

“That you have to stay here.” I answered.

“It’s not even your fault. Plus, it’s not even bad here. I just miss being with my family, y’know?” Lucky explained, now facing the ceiling with his arms under his head. I nodded my head. I didn’t exactly know how he felt about this whole situation. I’m sure he realizes why he even has to be here. Because some people just don’t like humans.

I opened my book again, trying to get at least halfway done with it before I fall asleep. At least that was my goal. Honestly I was extremely tired for no reason. I go to bed relatively early, and since I don’t have school anymore I’ve been waking up at around nine in the morning everyday. I didn’t know why I felt so exhausted. I wasn’t too worried though. I feel fine in the morning so it’s fine.

“Can I ask you a question, Nathan?” Lucky asked, still staring at the ceiling.

“Sure?” It came out more as a question.

“Do you like Ryker?”

My eyes widened. What kind of a question was that? “Yeah. He’s a nice friend. Why wouldn’t I?” Lucky started laughing, sitting up and now looking right at me, “I meant like, like him. Y’know, like a couple?”

I felt my cheeks immediately heat up at the realization. Lucky started laughing so hard he was choking while I buried my face in my hands. This was embarrassing. I tried getting rid of the red blush that just seemed to be painted on me at this point. I groaned as Lucky caught his breath, still waiting on an answer, though I’m sure he’s already assume one.

I’ve never really thought about it. I mean I do like him as a friend. He’s done nothing but help me ever since I’ve met him. I really do like being with him too. But do I really like him? I could just be mistaking it for liking him as a friend. That was probably it really. I don’t think I do. Nope. Plus, what makes anyone think that Ryker would like me back? It just didn’t make any sense. was he even into boys? Was I even into anyone? I’ve always thought that no one would want to be around me pretty much my whole life. I don’t know anymore at this point. Why were we even on the topic?

“N-no. We’re just friends.” The blush on my face was still painted across my cheeks. Lucky just rolled his eyes, “Whatever you say.”

I grabbed my book that I had lightly thrown on the cushion next to me and hid my bright red face in it. Just forget about it. Why would he ask that question anyways? It so random to ask. I was so unprepared too. There was no way I could just forget about this.

———Ryker———

The cold air outside felt great. A thin layer of snow now covered the entire city from last nights little shower, and it just felt great to be outside. Today was going to be a good day. I could feel it. Today also happened to be the day that Lucky and Angela would be coming home with us, which we were all excited about.

Jasmine had work today, and of course she was angry. It actually took me a while to clam her down so she wouldn’t be late for work. So now it was just Dylan and Isabelle with me as we headed to the bus stop to go and get them. I guess this counts as a family reunion? I mean, we haven’t really seen each other for nearly a week. It may not seem that long, but when all you have are your siblings, it’s not easy to let go of them. Let alone be apart from them for this amount of time.

Nathan had already texted me that they were already waiting. Apparently his mom wanted to say goodbye to Angela because she grew attached to her. I wasn’t very surprised. They must be freezing though. I know this kind of weather is kind of amplified for humans too. My mind went back to that night that seemed like forever ago. When Nathan had just snuggled up as close as he wanted to me for warmth. My heart fell, and a small smile appeared on my face as we walked along the sidewalk.

When we arrived at the bus stop, Lucky had practically ran as fast as he could to Dylan’s hand. Isabelle stayed in the back, smiling. I had told her before we had left to keep her distance from these two. Mainly because I had noticed how alert Nathan was when Isabelle was around. But that’s not something I should worry about now.

I crouched down, watching a small four-year old girl stumble over the snow to get to me. I let down a finger for her to hang on to while I talked to Nathan and his mom, but I couldn’t help but notice how the woman standing next to Nathan flinched as soon as Angela had hugged my finger. Did she think I’d hurt my own sister? That-that can’t be it, right?

“Thank you both so much. I don’t know what I would do if you hadn’t helped.” I slightly smiled, they smile back, “Oh you’re welcome! If you need help you can send them our way anytime!” His mother offered. She was the complete opposite of Nathan. She didn’t seem sheepish around me at all. So then why was Nathan so afraid? The thought snuck into the back of my mind, but I just pushed it aside.

“Ready Angel?” I asked, waiting for her to nod her head, but instead she rushed over to Nathan’s mom, gave her a hug then hurried back. I chuckled, tilting my hand slightly for her to climb on herself. I turned to Nathan, who waved a little before quickly stuffing his hands into the pockets and scrunching up his jacket. Just as I called it, he was freezing. Maybe he wants to come with us for a little? I have to take them shopping since there was only a couple days until Christmas, and Dylan and Lucky still needed to find gifts.

“Wanna come with us, Nathan? We’re just going shopping then heading back to my house.” I asked. He looked shocked before turning to his mom who nodded and whispered something to him. Nathan nodded his head with a smile on his face. I let my hand down again, watching him lift himself up on the first try, but still trip over thin air and fall. I would help him, but judging by the way he reacted a week ago when I was just trying to check up on him, I don’t think I really want to freak him out even more.

I thanked his mom again for helping, and we left. Dylan and Lucky were catching up while we made our way to the small store where we usually go to. I handed Angela to Isabelle. She knew what to do and what not to do. I couldn’t imagine Isabelle ever hurting anyone or anything so it was fine.

Behind me, Lucky and Dylan were laughing about something, and it made me kind of curious, but I didn’t want to bother them. Even if they spent hours talking on the phone and as much time together in school as they could, they still acted like they haven’t seen each other for years. That’s what happens when you let them share a room when they were younger. It wasn’t a bad thing though. Not at all.

It wasn’t too early. Maybe about midday so it was a little warmer, but that didn’t stop me from worrying about the little ice cube in my palm that was shivering. Was he just sensitive to the cold? It would make sense. Not even Angela was, but then again she was wearing a thicker jacket. I slightly cupped my hand a little more, watching him adjust his position and bundle up a little more. My heart fell, I wish I could help more, but I was scared that he’d freak out again if I did anything more. The last thing I wanted was for him to be uncomfortable.

“We’re almost there. You okay?” I asked worriedly, passing by some people on the sidewalk that seemed to be coming back from shopping themselves. A lot of them were carrying bags and wrapping paper. So people had the same idea as us.

Nathan nodded his head, a slight smile on his face. Just a two more blocks. I looked back, seeing that Dylan was holding one of Isabelle’s hands and smirking right at me. Lucky was on his shoulder, and I’m guessing he was doing the exact same thing. I raised an eyebrow, making them both laugh. I rolled my eyes, turning to the huge parking lot coming into view. Surprisingly enough, there weren’t many cars. I guess it was a good thing we came relatively early.

As soon as I entered the store, I was hit with warm air, slightly making it hard to breath for the split second I was under the heater. I stared down at Nathan, who looked relieved, but he still felt like an ice cube in my hand. Just give him some time. He looked like he was doing better already. A small smile involuntarily formed on my face.

“Sooo it’s only Lucky and I picking out gifts today?” Dylan walked beside me.

“Well yeah. If Isabelle and Angela want to get some things too.” I shrugged my shoulders, walking over to the sitting area where the small deli stand was. There weren’t too many people here, and I was just kind of here to make sure everything would be okay. I needed to get gifts too, but I just need to go pick them up when the order is done.

“Alright. We won’t be long.” Dylan grabbed Isabelle’s hand again, asking her and Angela if they wanted to go pick out gifts for everyone. I laughed when they both cheered. Meanwhile, I let Nathan down on the table. It took him a while to catch his balance, but he just sat back down on the table instead of the human-sized table on top. It’s not like I minded though. We’ve shared a desk together since the start of school anyways.

“Feeling better?” I asked, holding my head up with one of my hands.

“Y-yeah,” He stuttered, playing with his hands, “Why’d you w-want me to come a-anyways?”

I shrugged my shoulders, “Why not? You could have said no if you didn’t want to come.”

He thought about his response for a bit, “Thank you.”

I was a bit surprised. Why was he thanking me? What did I do for him? Get him out of the house? I was about to ask what for, but I wasn’t going to. He probably has his reasons. Whatever’s going on in his mind I guess. But I could say I was grateful that he said yes. I would have probably just been on my phone while waiting for Lucky and Dylan to pick out gifts. It gets boring.

Crowds of people were leaving and some were entering. Every time someone had passed by us I couldn’t help but notice Nathan inch closer to me. Right. It’s been a while since we’ve really hung out I forgot he doesn’t really do well when other people are near him for whatever reason. I used my free hand to hide him from everyone’s sights. Maybe he’s just reticent. It wouldn’t be shocking. No offense!

“Um, what are you doing for Christmas?” I tried taking his mind off of whatever was going on in there. He slightly flinched, then shook his head like I had just brought him back to reality, “Ah, um, reading? We… We don’t r-really do Christmas. Just hand each other gifts and th-that’s it.” He smiled like that’s normal. Then again, as far as I know it was only him and his mom. Still, it must be pretty sad that the doesn’t really celebrate.

“That’s it?” I looked at him sadly as he nodded his head. Usually we just kind of decorate together, which was why I hadn’t even set up the tree yet, but then Dylan and I make dinner, and we just open gifts. It’s not like this big thing though. It used to be when my parents were still here.

“If you want to you can celebrate with us. You don’t need to get us gifts or anything either.” I offered, making him laugh. A confused look was plastered on my face before he explained, “I kinda… already have g-gifts for you all.”

I blinked a few times. That I was not expecting. When? Why? Why did he get us all gifts? He didn’t have to. Now I kind of feel bad that he actually spent money on us. Did he get one for everyone? I think he did.

“Huh? W-why?” I was at a loss for words. Of course I bought him something, and I really hoped he liked it, but now I have to worry if it’ll be equal to whatever he bought for me. My initial plan was to surprise him with it, but apparently he had the same idea. I just hoped that it wasn’t anything crazy expensive because then I’d really feel bad.

“You’ve all b-been really nice to m-me,” He started, “Oh yeah! I still d-don’t have anything for Dylan. D-do you mind helping me?”

“I mean, yeah of course, b-but how did you even…?” I was confused. How did he get presents if he’s… vertically challenged. Our size difference limits us a lot so how did he even buy gifts if they’d be fifty times bigger than himself? Even we struggle with that which explains why we all go Christmas shopping at different times with Lucky since Angela can’t walk into a human-sized store by herself.

“I haven’t b-bough them yet. I actually need y-your help with that too.” He laughed nervously. Now that makes more sense. I just nodded, smiling. Nathan was too good of a friend for me. I wasn’t expecting anything honestly. I would definitely give him a hug if I didn’t think he’d be afraid.

——————

I gave Nathan a list of everything Dylan was into, even the embarrassing stuff that only his family knows about, but I trust Nathan not to tell anyone. Eventually he found something and sent it to me to make sure. It was a poster of one of his favorite actors, signed and everything apparently. Dylan absolutely loves watching movies. Even the old ones made thirty years before he was even born. I don’t know where Nathan found that at, but oh my gosh if all the gifts are like that I am going to feel so bad that mine won’t even be comparable to his.

Right on time, Dylan and all of them came back with bags in their hands. We all left and walked back to our house. Like I said, today was a good day.

———Nathan———

Today really was a good day. I have no idea why I had thought that hits morning, but obviously it wasn’t lying to me. It’s been a while since I’ve hung out with Ryker, so of course I said yes to his invitation. Before I left my mom just whispered for me to go, like she was going out to do something as well. I knew she took off work today as well so obviously something was happening there. But I completely forgot about it while I was at Ryker’s house.

It was already getting late. The sun just barely peaking out over the horizon. There was a light snow outside, covering the already frosted ground outside. It was nice and warm inside, with the heater on and slightly blowing right on me. I was snuggled up near the windowsill in the living room, blanket on top of me and staring outside watching the sun go down. Ryker was helping his siblings wrap gifts, so it was just me for now. It was surprisingly quiet except for the faint crinkling of wrapping paper.

The front door opened wide, letting in cold air that slightly stung my face. I peaked my head around the wall that obstructed my view, seeing a girl with long, curly black hair with a few dark purple streaks walk into the house, carrying a two bags and a uniform that looked like it belonged to a gas station. I guess Jasmine was working or something? Either way, I pressed myself up father into the corner, trying not to be seen by her. She scares me. Even if Lucky said she’s a lot nicer than she’s been to me, I don’t exactly think she’ll ever like me.

“Ry! I’m home!” She screamed from across the house. I stayed under the blanket, staying hidden. I have a feeling the second she sees me she’ll start asking questions or threaten me. Luckily, she didn’t see me, and instead headed off to her room, soon followed by the sound of the shower starting.

Ryker walked back into the room, grabbing something off from a table and leaving again. Then everyone had started bringing in the now wrapped presents and placing them on the on the floor. Ryker came back with a box and set it down beside the couch. I forced myself to crawl a bit closer to see what they were doing. Setting up a Christmas tree. I’m guessing they had the ornaments in the box too.

“Alright, you guys go crazy.” Ryker laughed, opening up the box and walking to the couch by the windowsill I was currently sitting down at. He sat down, sighing and turned to check on me. I flashed a smile, earning one back.

I watched as Dylan set up the tree for everyone while Isabelle quickly grabbed some white streamers and draped all over the tree messily. My attention was turned to the still form on the couch next to me. Ryker’s chest slowly fell and rose, his eyes closed and covered up in the blanket. He looked comfortable…

Was he asleep? Probably. I would too if I had to keep up with this many people. Was it hard? Well no duh, Nathan. He always looks tired when he’s at school. Should I leave now then? I didn’t want to wake him up when I had to go. I would feel terrible. Actually, now would be a great time to ask Dylan about getting Ryker an extra gift in case he won’t like the one I have for him. The only problem is mustering up the courage to even talk to him. Alone. I think it’d be fine though. It’s only for a little bit until I can eventually make this.

It took them around twenty minutes to place all of their ornaments on the tree, but they did. None of them dared to wake up Ryker after they were done either. Jasmine walked into the room, dressed up in white sweatpants and a sweater. She walked up to Ryker, rolling her eyes with a smile on her face before she noticed me. Her smile disappeared as she glared at me. I sank back, burying myself in the blanket. What did I do to her?

She averted her attention to the tree, smiling and talking with both Isabelle and Angela. Thanking them for helping with the tree and then continued to play around with Angela in her hands. No wonder she threatened me so much when she had to watch Angela leave. Jasmine was really attached to her. Kind of like my mom.

“Boo!” I physically jumped, my heart racing from the scare. I looked behind me, seeing Lucky laughing, nearly choking. Dylan was also laughing, but I just smiled. Where did he even come from?

“Oh my gosh you should have seen your face!” Dylan let out a hand for me to help me get on my feet. It took me a while to balance myself from sitting down for so long, but I managed.

“You want to get out of here for a bit?” Lucky asked just as soon as Dylan offered an open palm. I stared at it, wide-eyed. I really only trust Ryker to hold me, but I guess this won’t be so bad.

“Sure.” Lucky grabbed my wrist as we walked on, and for the first time in my life I didn’t trip and fall on my face embarrassingly. Okay, so I had help this time but one day I’ll be able to do it on my own. Hopefully. Or maybe I won’t even have to.

Dylan took us to his room, where there were tons of posters of games and a little tv stand with a shelf full of some books that he probably needed for school and some games along with VHS tapes. I was honestly really surprised by the place. I don’t know why expected there to be sporty things like weights and basketballs. Y’know. What athletes have.

There was a bedside dresser with a few human-sized things on it which I was guessing was Lucky’s temporary room. I was guessing these two just shared a room since his other room wasn’t at all filled with things. Just a few clothes and a dresser. I’m guessing everything else was here.

Lucky and I were set down on the dresser while Dylan sat down on his bed. Lucky gave me a short tour of his own little room before letting me sit down on his bed while he sat in a chair. It was quiet for a second before Jasmine’s voice screamed from the other room, “Lucky!”

He groaned in response while Dylan snickered, letting lucky onto the floor. It was just the two of us now. I waited until I saw Lucky leave before trying my hardest to calm down before I had a actually tried to talk to Dylan by myself. I could when there were people around. What’s so different this time? I had no one to save me if I said the wrong thing.

“Oh hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you what you got Ryker for Christmas. Lucky told me you had something good.” Dylan spoke first, a grin on his face. Well I already told Lucky, so if I don’t tell Dylan he’ll just end up telling him. There was no point in hiding it.

“C-concert tickets.” I answered, hoping he could hear. I was guessing he did by the reaction. His eyes went wide and his jaw slightly opened wide in shock.

“That one band he’s absolutely crazy for?”

I nodded my head. Not the way I would word it. I actually kind of find it funny how much Ryker loves that band. I forgot the name, but he’ll remind me when I show him the tickets.

“Oh my gosh he’s gonna to go crazy.” Dylan laughed. Does that mean he’ll like it? If that’s so then I don’t need to ask for help. This makes my life so much easier. I’m so glad I don’t have to ask for any favors. It’s not exactly a grate first impression to immediately ask for something. I let out a sigh of relief.

——————

I didn’t leave the house until about an hour after Ryker woke up. It was close to midnight, but it’s not like I’m some little kid who has a bed time. Heck, we don’t even have school tomorrow so it really didn’t matter.

When I arrived home, my mom was asleep on the couch, the tv playing The Golden Girls per usual and the blanket halfway on the ground. I smiled to myself, pulling the blanket over her and turning up the heater. She was freezing. I headed to my room, grabbed a pair of clothes, took an extremely hot shower, and buried myself under the blankets. Things were going great. Maybe life really didn’t hate me all that much.

———Ryker———

It was Christmas Day. The day everyone was waiting for. Especially Angela and Isabelle who woke me up at six in the morning to wish everyone in the house a merry Christmas. I admit, I was just the slightest bit annoyed, but that was because I went to bed late at night cleaning up and setting up gifts. I also had to take out some food to defrost for later.

This morning was a huge mess. Even if we weren’t really doing anything until later, I still had to go pick up a few things before. The day before I helped Nathan with the gifts he had bought, which by the way he ordered online (I don’t know how I didn’t think about this sooner) I wrapped the one’s I could while he wrapped the other two that belonged to Lucky and Angela. I was honestly surprised at how thoughtful he was. He even bought one for Jasmine and I know for a fact that Jasmine would absolutely love it. Although she doesn’t like to admit it, she absolutely loves stuffed animals. I just don’t know how he even knew. Was he just guessing? Then I also noticed that he was hiding mine from me. I wondered what it could be, but I would find out later today.

I also had to go pick him up today, but that wasn’t my priority right now. I planned on going early in the morning, but the snow was coming down pretty heavy so I had to wait. I wouldn’t have minded heading out there, it’s just I didn’t want to get sick. I rarely do, but when it does happen, it’s terrible. So now it was almost four in the afternoon, only about two hours before all the stores started closing. Just barely making it in time to go pick up the cake Jasmine had ordered. Why she didn’t get it herself? I had zero idea. I would have made her get it if she hadn’t been half asleep.

Once in the store, the sweet smell of strawberry and chocolate filled my nose. Curse my sweet tooth. Where did she even find this place at? It was like in the middle of nowhere, yet it looked so nice inside and smelled delicious. A woman walked up to the counter, her apron dressed in icing and batter.

“Hi! Did you have an order?” She smiled, ready to tap away at the screen in front of her.

“Oh, um, I think it’s under the name Jasmine?” I replied, not being able to take my eyes off of the amazing looking cookies that were displayed.

“Yup! Let me just go get the box.” She left the room. Jasmine purposely made me come get this. She was doing something at home, and she thought she could distract me. Damn it it’s working.

The woman came back with a white box and typed something in the computer before l grabbed the box, and I guess she saw me looking at the displays because she just laughed, “I’ll give you a small box for free. How’s that sound?”

“Yes please.” I almost immediately replied, laughing along with her. I swear if Jasmine makes fun of me for this when I get home… I was handed another small box while I thanked the lady and left.

When I walked in the house, Jasmine was waiting right at the front door, a huge smirk on her face. I glared at her.

“Why the extra box?” She could barely hold in her snicker. I rolled my eyes, “Shut up. You’re not getting any.” I stuck my tongue out immaturely, while she tried reaching for the extra box I was holding just above my head. She gave up about two minutes later, snatching the cake from my hands and muttering something as she made her way to the kitchen.

I looked at the time, reading six thirty already. Now would be a good time to go quickly pick up Nathan. I gave him a quick text, placed the box of cookies in my room, and went back out.

——————

It only took me about half an hour to walk over there and back. Everyone knew Nathan was coming, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited. I mean, he’s never had a real Christmas according to him, so I’m glad I can at least give him the opportunity. Even if we aren’t family or anything, I think it’s a nice change of things. Plus, afterwards the younger ones go to bed while the rest of us stay up a little longer and go to our separate rooms. Really I was the only one alone because Jasmine falls asleep almost immediately. Nathan was actually staying the night, and not in the human accommodating house. I didn’t want him to be alone so I had offered to make a little space for him in my room. He agreed.

So now we were at the house, Nathan sitting down in my room away from the chaos happening. I was cooking, Dylan clearing the middle of the living room for later, Jasmine keeping the little ones busy, Lucky was taking a shower. Things were going great surprisingly enough. This was only the second time time we’ve celebrated without our parents, so I was expecting something to happen, but everyone seemed happy. The first time was hard for us, and we barely even wanted to celebrate, but it’s what our parents would have wanted, so we kept on going.

The food was relatively done, I just needed to go get some plates and get everyone in here. I went to my room, finding Nathan sitting on the makeshift bed I made out of some soft cloth I cut off of one my hoodies. What? I don’t used that one anymore. I would have been more than happy to let him on my bed and I sleep on the floor (I’m sure he was terrified just as much as I was about what could happen if we slept on the same bed) but I figured he’d feel bad, so I tried to make it as comfy as possible.

“Sorry for just leaving you here. I wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with the chaos happening in the other room.” I explained, offering a hand. He shook his head, stepping on and falling forward yet again. He’ll get it at some point. Hopefully.

“It’s fine.” He replied, groaning as he sat back up.

Lucky was already making the three of them a plate. I don’t really know where he learned how to do it, but he just did. I wasn’t complaining. It was less work for me anyways. As soon as everyone had their plate, we ate around the coffee table, laughing and sometimes messing around with one another. Jasmine had brought up the cookies again before I lightly slapped her shoulder.

Once we all finished eating, it was time for presents, which I handed out to everyone. Nathan told me to let everyone know to open the present he gave them last just so he knows how much they would all really like it. I just went along with it, so now everyone was kind of excited. I opened mine, getting one of the hoodies I had shown Jasmine just a few days ago. From Dylan a pair of new headphones since my old ones broke sadly. Lucky bought me some new markers since my old ones were dry. Isabelle and Angela combined their gifts and gave me a little picture frame of both of them (My heart was melting) that I would definitely be placing on the tv stand later.

It was weird for me since I didn’t have a physical gift from Nathan, and I didn’t really know how to react to that. Just what did he get me? I was so confused, but I waited patiently. I’m sure I’d love whatever it is either way.

Everyone was done opening their gifts, only left with one. Nathan jumped when all the attention was on him, visibly trembling. I stepped in for him. “Jasmine should go first.” I grinned. She rolled her eyes, grabbing the box I had stuffed the gift in.

“Like this is gonna be good…” She mumbled. I elbowed her side while Nathan looked down a little sadly. Just wait…

As soon as she had opened it, her jaw nearly dropped. She glared at me for a split second before turning back to the adorable looking teddy bear. She hates admitting it, but she loves those kinds of things.

“Okay, maybe you’re not so bad after all.” She smiled at him for the first time ever.

“My turn!” Isabelle and Angela both opened theirs at the same time, revealing a matching set of clothes. I had to cover my ears from the high pitched squeals. Nathan laughed, covering his ears too.

Lucky opened his, a game that he’s been wanting for forever. He hugged Nathan, he flinched at the contact, but either way hugged him lightly back. Dylan followed, confused at what his could be before he opened it up all the way and stuttered, struggling to find what to say.

“H-how did you…” He looked over the me, but I just shrugged and smirked.

“You are literally the best.” Dylan laughed, folding the paper back up.

We all laughed, including Nathan who was walking closer to me, waiting on the edge. Was he waiting for something? Oh! I let me hand out, seeing him use my thumb to help him balance so he didn’t embarrass himself in front of everyone. I brought him closer, confused the entire time as he pulled out his phone, and seconds later my own phone going off. He pointed at his as I hurried to pull mine out, and nearly dropped my phone when I saw the pictures he sent.

“You’re kidding, right?” I felt my face heat up slightly, watching him shake his head and laugh a bit. I did a double take before covering my mouth with my free hand.

“Told you he’d love it!” Dylan smiled.

I absolutely do yes.

“I-I, um, wasn’t sure if you’d like it.”

“Are you kidding? This is literally the best thing you could have ever given me.” I laughed, trying my hardest to hide the blush on my face, but it was too late because everyone was laughing except for Angela and Isabelle. Including me. Oh my gosh this was so much better than my gift to him. How was I even going to compare to his?

I looked to Lucky, who nodded his head and grabbed it really quickly before I even let Nathan back onto the table. Lucky handed it to him and pointed at me. Nathan started opening it, stopping halfway as he tried to figure out what it was. It wasn’t anything too special. Just a picture frame of the two of us. A picture we had taken a long time ago when we had to share classes. The same day that we hung out together for the first time.

“It’s not anything special. I’m not the best at picking gifts, but I hope you like it.”

I was surprised when he hugged it close to his chest and looked like he was about to cry.

“Awww.” Lucky joked around. I couldn’t help but notice the slight blush on his cheeks. He loved it.

We cleaned up, had the younger kids go to sleep and Jasmine. Dylan and Lucky were in their room watching a movie, while my door was closed along with my curtains. The only light was coming from the dim lamp I had on my desk. I let Nathan down on the nightstand. We were both changed into something more comfortable. So now it was just the two of us.

“I can’t believe you bought me tickets.” I exasperated, still in shock.

“Well yeah. You’re really nice to me, help me out a whole lot.”

I turned to face him, a slight smile on my face, “Really? I feel like you’re the one always helping me.” He nodded his head. It went silent for a bit before I decided to break it, “Are you tired?” Honestly, I was exhausted, but I was willing to keep Nathan company until he fell asleep.

“Mmm… yeah.” He replied, already under a blanket. I chuckled lightly, gettin under my own, “Good night then.”

“Good night, Ryker.” I heard him reply. I’ve rarely heard him say my name before, and I don’t know why my face started heating up.

Four days later.

———Nathan———

Everything was going so great. The Christmas party at Ryker’s was amazing. Even the few days before that it was great just the be with everyone. My mom was happy, I was happy. Life was finally turning around for me. For the first time in years I finally felt like I could actually have a normal life. I had friends, I was going to graduate in five months. Everything was looking all up for me.

So why did it get flipped back around?

My mom and I were just going to go buy fireworks. Just the small ones. Nothing too huge. That’s all we wanted. This was really the only thing we truly celebrated together since it marked the start of the a new year. It marked that we could restart our lives over again. We loved watching the many colors paint the sky. That’s all we wanted. And we couldn’t have it.

We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time I guess? Because everyone just acted like nothing had happened. That everything was going to be fine and okay. But it wasn’t. Nothing was “fine and okay.” I had really thought that maybe my life was finally turning around for the better just like my mom’s had, but no. I can never have anything nice just once. Just once I wanted something nice. And I couldn’t have it. Just like the fireworks we couldn’t have.

The store we were shopping at was relatively empty. Only a few people here and there. The only thing about it was that it was really close to the giant part of the city. That was all we were wary about. But we brushed it off. After all, we would only be there for about an hour then head back home.

“Ooo these look nice, right?” My mom picked up a tiny pack. I smiled, holding out the basket I was holding and let her place it in along with the two other tiny packs we had. We had continued looking, not at all aware of the large tremors that only grew more and more. And neither did the other people in the store. We all had just thought it was some unaware giant walking across the street. If only that were true.

The next thing we know, there’s screaming outside, we heard people fighting, we were rushed outside so we didn't get hurt, but we shouldn’t have ran outside. Two giants were fighting right in the open. Brutally at that. One had a very muscular build while the other was built, but not as muscular as the guy on top of him, laying punches in the face. People tried to break up the fight, but it only grew worse, and soon enough, the giants decided to bring humans into it. The one that was being pouched in the face continuously had tried to reach practically anything he could, and that just so happened to be a human-sized tree from a nearby park. Right where my mom was standing dialing 911.

I mean, what are the chances of that? It seemed like a made up lie, but it wasn’t. Trust me, I’ve tried my hardest to convince myself that it wasn’t real, that there was no way my mom would just be standing there and it just so happens that the giant would try reaching for the tree right next to her. Hah! It was ridiculous, right? I only wished I wasn’t telling the truth.

I stood in fear as I heard her scream at the top of her lungs while in the giant’s fist which was also holding the huge tree that looked minuscule in his hand. I couldn’t move. My mom was there. Getting hurt. And all I could do was stand and watch.

Eventually help did come, all the other humans had gone away except for the few that actually cared about what happened with my mom. I knew I was, because as soon as the paramedics came to see how she was doing, I nearly started sobbing in front of so many people. I’ve seen her like this before. She’ll be okay. Just let her heal for a few weeks and she can come back home. Right? I wish that were true. I wish that we hadn’t even decided to go to that stupid store. I wished that she was standing right next to me. But she wasn’t. And now everything I’ve worked so hard to build up here in this city is just taken away.

I stayed at the hospital, right next to my mom’s limp and weak body. The doctors were trying their hardest to keep her from… you can probably guess. Five broken ribs, a broken leg, and internal bleeding. I’m also pretty sure the doctor’s were hiding something from me, but I don’t know. She couldn’t breath well, and she winces every time she tries to move. Every time she wakes up she tells me to go home and get some rest. I tell her that I wasn’t leaving until she would be able to come home with me.

Today was no different. She would wake up, struggle to sit up, and eat her breakfast while I stayed sitting on the little bench. The doctor’s let me stay the night. I guess they felt bad or something? I didn’t know, but I wasn’t leaving her here. My phone would go off at least two times a day. It was always Ryker. I’m guessing he had heard what had happened, but I really didn’t feel like talking. Not now when this was when my mom needed me most.

“You should…. Eat…. Hon.” She had to take a few breaths between each word, which worried me, but the doctor’s would help with that. I believed it.

“I’m okay mom. Don’t worry about me.” My voice was light and tired. I didn’t feel hungry, but I knew my body was. I hadn’t eaten since the day she came here which was about three days ago. School starts tomorrow, but they called and said I didn’t have to come back until two weeks.

I refused to cry over this. If I did, then it would show that I’d given up. Mom always hated to see me cry. So I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t have to anyways since she would be coming back home with me.

My phone started going off again. Everyday at exactly nine and six Ryker would call, and I would let it ring until he was sent to voicemail. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I didn’t want to eat. I didn’t want to do anything but stay here with my mom and make sure she gets better. If she doesn’t then I don’t know what I would do.

“Maybe… you should… talk to him.” She wheezed. I shook my head, “I don’t feel like talking to anyone.”

“He’s worried, Nate. Just… promise me… you’ll talk to him?” I thought about it for a second before nodding my head. I was already hanging onto a promise her and I made all those years ago.

——————

“Mom!”

“Yes, Nate?”

“Do you promise to stay with me for forever?” I hung onto the hem of her tattered dress.

“Of course.” She smiled down at me.

——————

She had to keep that promise. She’s all I have left. Dad was already gone… I didn’t want to lose her too.

“Honey, go get some breakfast. For me, please?” She had begged, and I just couldn’t say no. I walked over to the door, and told I would be back.

———Ryker———

What happened three days ago was heartbreaking. At first I didn’t believe it. That’s a really big stretch, but it happened. How do I know? Because I’ve been calling and calling Nathan, and he doesn’t answer. It’s almost like he doesn’t wan tot talk, but then again I did the same with my own siblings after our parents passed away. I pushed them away and locked myself in my room. That’s what was happening with Nathan.

I had heard his mom was in the hospital, still healing, and I really do hope that she would be okay. Her and Nathan. It’s going to break Nathan if she… y’know.

Everyday I call him twice, he never answered. I understood why. I couldn’t be mad at him. The same thing happened to me. I pushed everyone away, and I only pulled myself together when I realized that they were also hurting. They helped me out like they did each other and now look at us. Back to some-what normal. Not to mention that they didn’t know how to cook or clean.

I groaned, leaning back in my desk chair while looking at my phone. I felt terrible. All I wanted to do was to try and help him out as much as I could. I would give him anything he needed. I know how bad it gets, and I would hate to see him like that.

My phone was going off, and I was surprised to see that Nathan was actually calling me back. I quickly picked up my phone and clicked the green phone button.

“Oh my gosh Nathan! Are you okay? I-I heard what happened and-“

“This is Ryker, right?” It was a raspy woman’s voice. His mom.

“Oh, y-yes ma’am.” My hands were shaking, my heart racing. I don’t know why.

“I-I’m sorry to ask… you of this but… can you do something… for me?” I covered my mouth, my heart throbbing. She sounded terrible. How could Nathan still be there and listen to his own mother like this? I couldn’t if I was him. Oh Nathan…

“Anything!”

I heard her lightly chuckle, “Just make sure… Nate doesn’t do anything bad… please? H-he’s really not… doing good.”

“Of course.” I would imagine he wouldn't be doing too good.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

She hung up.

I threw my phone on my bed, worried about what Nathan was even doing. I really am worried about him. So is nearly all of my siblings. Including Jasmine. I really wanted to talk to him. But I don’t think he’s going to school for the next couple of weeks. How do I know? Because I have the exact same message from the school. Also with a small note from Mrs. Kay saying that I should be there for him. Why wouldn’t I? I’m not a fake friend. I just hoped Nathan would call me eventually.

———Nathan———

She wasn’t getting any better. Actually, I think she was getting worse. The doctor’s increased the amount of pain meds for her, and nearly everyday they have to do an emergency procedure because she couldn’t breath right. That’s when I received the news that she had a punctured lung, which explains why she couldn’t breath properly. But that wasn’t good news. There was none. Anything I had heard was something that was wrong with her.

It was evening now, I was reading a book while she had the channel turned on to The Golden Girls. Everything was peaceful until she had a fit of coughs, and eventually the heart monitor was beeping fast. The doctors rushed in, and I could hear her struggle to breath again.

“Mom!” I yelled, watching as they had rushed her down the hallway.

“I love you, Nate.” She formed a weak smile right before they shut the door on me to the procedure room.

——————

I came back home after a week of staying in the hospital on that uncomfortable bench. I had a bag over my shoulder, and stood in the empty living room. It was quiet. You could only hear the faint sounds of crickets outside in the dark. I headed to my room, turned on the lamp in my room, and laid down in my bed, holding the old teddy bear up against my chest.

She was gone.

Tears formed in my eyes, but I didn’t let them fall. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. And I didn’t. She wouldn’t want to see me like that. She would say that there was no reason to cry. But there was. I had no one now. Just myself. What would I do now? I sucked in a shaky breath, falling asleep and hoping that all of those was just some sick nightmare.

When I woke up the next morning, it was quiet still. I stood up, changed my clothes and headed to the living room, where no one was sitting down watching tv. I headed to my mom’s room, finding her bed messy. She always makes sure it’s made before leaving the house.

So it really wasn’t a nightmare.

I wasn’t hungry. At least I didn’t feel hungry. I had only eaten that one day, and even then all I had was half a muffin. It’s been about four days since then. I felt that my body was weak, but I didn’t care. There was nothing for me to care about. I had just thought for once second that everything was alright. That everything was going great, and then this happens. It’s just my luck, right?

My phone was going off. It hasn’t for a while. Ryker was calling again, and I still didn’t really feel like talking to anyone. Of course I realized that he was just trying to check up on me, but I really wasn’t up to the task. I wasn’t even up to the task of making myself something to eat, so what makes anyone think I could hold a conversation.

It was cold in the house, so I just grabbed a blanket and bundled myself up on the couch. The tv was on in the background. It was usually on, and I was so used to it playing something while I was in my room reading or taking a nap. What was I supposed to do with my life now? There really was no meaning if I didn’t have anyone anymore. Ryker could move on. He didn’t need to worry about me. I was just a temporary friend anyways.

Why am I thinking like this?

I can’t believe I fell for a false ending. I thought I could just live a happy life now. Of course whatever bad luck was following me never went away. I could keep wishing all I want, but it wouldn’t bring any of my parents back. I could cry, but it wouldn’t bring them back. No matter how hard it was to keep the tears from falling. They would hate to see me like that. They would also hate to see me alone, but it was hard to choose between the two.

I don’t want to leave Ryker.

I groaned, burying my face into my hands. Maybe Ryker would give up on me too if I stayed quiet long enough. He’d eventually stop calling me everyday and find a new friend that was much, much better than me. Then again… I don’t want to lose him too. I really do like him. He’s been nothing but patient and kind to me. This was how I’d be repaying him? I was a horrible person. I would tell him that I’m sorry if I had the guts to. But I don’t. There’s nothing more I want in the world than to just cry and cry and cry, and I couldn’t.

“I’m trying to keep myself together, mom.” I whispered, stifling back a sob and burying my entire body under the sheets. I felt terrible. I deserve everything that’s happened to me… I’m a horrible person and no one would disagree with me.

——————

For the next four days I just slept. Off and on. There were some days I would sit outside in the cold and watch as people walked down the street or how many cars went passing by. I’d go back inside, lay down on the couch with my little bear and go to sleep. I didn’t feel like doing anything else, and somehow I woke up the next day feeling even more tired than before. I didn’t know if that was a sign that my body was giving up on me, or if was from the lack of food that I’ve been neglecting to give to my body. I just haven’t been feeling like it.

Ryker never stopped calling, and each time he did my heart throbbed. Each time he called I had to hold in the tears that were already so hard not to let out. All of a sudden I wanted nothing more than for him to hold me close and keep me warm like he used to. I missed it. I missed him. Which was an odd thing for me to say. I grew too used to him, but was that really a bad thing? It just means it’ll hurt more when he eventually leaves me. He’ll take one good look at me now, and abandon me. Even the slightest mention of the thought was enough for me to not to answer his calls. I wanted to answer so badly.

Please help me.

I always repeated in my mind. I still had his gift. The picture of the two of us the first time we ever hung out together. I didn’t realize how small I really was next to him until I saw that photo, but I loved it. I had a real smile on my face. I haven’t been able to do that for a while.

This morning wasn’t any different, I sat outside for a while until I couldn’t feel my fingers, walked back inside, grabbed a book, and read until I fell asleep. When I woke up, I’d put the tv on, clean up whatever little mess was in the house, and head back outside for a little. I at least like to get a little bit of sunlight everyday. I wasn’t really taking the best care of myself, but I could just do this one little thing. It couldn’t hurt me anymore than I already was.

Maybe I could walk over to Ryker’s?

That was an insane thought. There was no way I could do it. Plus, he probably doesn’t even want to see me. He’s called so many times I forgot what number I was at. Why would he want to see me? I really haven’t been the best. At all. Though… I could at least try. I know where he lives. I’ve been there plenty of times to know. I really did want to see him too.

I grabbed my phone, zipped up my jacket, and started to walk slowly down the sidewalk. It was a long walk just to reach the small gas station that was close by their house. The sun was long gone, it was cold and snowing lightly outside, my face was freezing and my skin stung from the cold, but I kept on going. I was almost there. If he wanted to see me, he’d let me in and I could be warm again, have someone to talk to, finally be comfortable. If he doesn’t, then I’d be left out in the cold and get hypothermia unless I can make it back to my house in time.

In total, it took me nearly an hour and a half to reach their house. I stared at the huge door in front of me, shivering. This was a bad idea. This could either go really good, or end really badly. I guess there was only one way to find out.

I grabbed my phone with my shaking, ice-cold hands and called Ryker back.

———Ryker———

Everyone was gone on some overnight school trip. The entire district. It was to some theme park a couple hours away from here, and I didn’t really feel like attending. Actually, I haven’t even been going to school since I received that message. I’ve been hanging onto hope that Nathan would eventually answer one of my calls. He never did.

So now, here I was, watching a movie by myself in the living room. It was pretty late, but might as well finish off the movie. I was sitting down with a bowl of half-eaten popcorn when my phone started ringing. Probably just one of my siblings-

It was Nathan.

I freaked out, quickly pausing the movie and placing the bowl I had on the coffee table in front of me before answering.

“Hello?”

It took a while for Nathan to reply, but he did, and I was more than shocked.

“U-um. C-c-could you o-o-open your d-d-door?”

He just walked all the way from his house to mine. In the cold. While it was snowing. Of course I hurried to open the door, seeing the small being that was Nathan on my doorstep, shivering. I dropped my phone of the floor, scooping him up into my hand, hearing him let out a tiny squeak before I shut the door behind us.

I gave him a second to catch his breath, his chest quickly rising up and down. I apologized so many times as I slid down the door. Nathan did not look good at all. He looked skinnier, I could tell he wasn’t really taking care of himself. I waited for him to say something, but he was struggling himself just to find the words.

I wasn’t mad at him. Not at all. I’ve wanted to see him. I’ve wanted him to say for me to help him. Was this the time? I would do everything I could for him. Starting with making him something to eat since I’m positively sure he hasn’t been eating. I technically made a promise to his mom and I was not about to break it.

“Did… did you want something to eat?” I whispered. It took him a second to process what I asked him, but he nodded, and I couldn’t tell if he was shivering of trembling in my hand. I stood up slowly, guiding us to the kitchen and tilting my hand on the counter for him to get off. I grabbed a plate of leftovers I made for myself last night and started heating it up in the microwave. I watched with sympathy as he scooted his back up against the paper towels and dug his head into his knees. He felt bad.

“H-hey look, I promise I’m not mad at all. I understand why you didn’t answer my calls.” I tried to make him feel better. It’s not like I would lie to him. Nathan just shook his head, taking deep breaths to stop himself from crying. I bit the inside of my cheek, hearing the microwave go off. I took out the small container of chicken and rice and worked on making Nathan a small enough plate. I handed him the small pieces, offering a small smile as he took a bite.

I waited until he was full, seeing that he didn’t really eat much, but it was better than nothing. Then, went over to the living room to turn off the tv. Obviously he wasn’t going home tonight. He was probably exhausted anyways, and I never did get rid of those makeshift accommodations for him. I don’t think he really wants to be alone either.

“Do you wanna go lie down for a bit?” I asked, my hand palm up and ready for him to climb on. Nathan nodded his head, climbing on and sitting in the middle, a little warmer now. I closed the door to my room and turned on the lamp on my desk. I placed my hand on the nightstand for him to get off, but he didn’t Instead, he shook his head, grabbing as much of my sweater sleeve as he could and hung on tight. My heart fell. He just wanted someone to be there for him, and how could I deny him that?

I smiled, sitting down up against the head of my bed and just let him stay in my palm. He was hurting, and I couldn’t just leave him like that. That’s when he let go and pointed back to the set up I had on my nightstand.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I don’t mind. I get why you’re upset. I’ve been through the same thing.” His eyes went wide before shaking his head, “It’s not the same thing! I watched the doctors take her away. She said ‘I love you’ right before she went through the doors, and she never came out. She knew she wasn’t going back with me. I had no one waiting for me at home because my dad was also killed right in front of my face! I’ve been depressed and lonely for years, and I had no one. Did you have to watch your own parents die in front of your face? Were you alone after everything happened? No, because you had your siblings to help you!” He covered his mouth as I stared wide-eyed right back at him. He wasn’t wrong. I had people help me. Nathan didn’t. Which was why I wanted to help him. But the next words that came out of his mouth shook me to the core.

“Please don’t hurt me. I-I’m s-sorry.”

He brought his knees up to his chest and covered his head with his arms. My heart skipped a beat. He was afraid of me, and that just made me horrified. He never told me what happened to him before he moved here. He never told me why he was so afraid of giants. So, whatever had happened was obviously was affecting how he felt right now.

“What? No, never little guy. Why would I hurt you?”

“You’re not mad?”

I shook my head, “Not at all.”

I watched as he wiped away loose tears, sniffling them back and scooting closer to me. I braced myself for what I knew what was coming next.

———Nathan———

Once the tears had started flooding my eyes, there was nothing I could do to stop from crying in front of Ryker now. I bit the side of my cheek so hard the faint taste of blood filled my mouth. Don’t cry. Don’t cry, don’t cry. But my own words didn’t stop the tears from cascading down my face.

Ryker fixed my position in his palm while I struggled to wipe away the loose tears that were only falling down harder the more I kept thinking about the tragic events that have happened this past month. Why? Why’d she have to leave me here?

I was full on sobbing at this point. I had buried my face in Ryker’s hoodie to muffle the sounds of my cries. I could hear the faint sound of his heartbeat, I could hear his light breathing. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Ryker. Is what I wish I could say to him, but I currently couldn’t

Something warm pressed me up lightly against Ryker’s chest. I flinched, slightly turning my head to see that the pad of his thumb was offering some kind of comfort. It felt weird to me, but somehow I liked it? I didn’t want him to let go of me, but I was also scared at the same time.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m right here, Nathan.” Ryker whispered softly, noticeably trying to comfort me while I just cried and cried into the fabric of his hoodie. I’m sorry Ryker. I wanted to say it so badly, but I couldn’t. Why did he worry about me so much? I should be at home, alone, crying into my pillow. Why did he want to stay with an insignificant little human whose life somehow gets turned upside down every other month?

“I’m s-s-sorry.” I managed to say in between sobs. He lightly squeezed me against him before responding, “You’re the one who’s hurt, Nathan. You don’t have to apologize if I’m the one who wants to help you, okay?”

And I could practically hear the sad smile forming on his face as he continued to offer a comforting presence.

I quietly kept on crying, grabbing fistfuls of as much fabric as I could while feeling safe up against his chest. Was this what I needed? To be held just like this and cry and cry? It felt so good. I didn’t want Ryker to ever let go of me. The soft, warm touch on my back felt amazing.

“I-I miss her, Ryker.” I cried in between sobs.

“I know, I know. It’s alright,” He started lightly rubbing my back, making me slightly shudder, “Do you want me to let you go?” I quickly shook my head, sniffling while tears silently fell down my face. Please don’t ever let me go. I snuggled up closer, closing my eyes. This felt right. Nothing else could make me feel better.

“You okay?” He asked me. I nodded my head, hearing him chuckle above me. I missed both my parents. So, so much. Nothing could describe just how grateful I was that Ryker didn’t shut me out. I’ve never felt better than right now at this very moment. I don’t know what I would have done. Probably continue to starve myself until I eventually died. That was probably my initial plan, but I doubt that now that I’m with Ryker he’d just let me do that. Heck, the first thing he asks me is if I want something to eat, which I involuntarily nodded to. I felt safe when I was around him.

Ryker moved, but never moved me. He just laid down and just let me lay down on him. I smiled to myself, closing my eyes and just letting sleep take over me.

And it felt like the first real sleep I’ve had in ages.

——————

Please don’t hate me, I was just in an extremely angsty mood TwT. But hey, at least we get some comfort, right? Hahaa… (Please don’t hurt me)

I’m sorry this one took so long, it’s just I wanted to add a whole bunch of wholesome scenes. It was fun and depressing to write this, but everything’s all coming together. (Please don’t mind the many errors I was too tired edit it) Only a few more chapters and it’s done! Thank you guys for sticking with me on this ride, thank you all!

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februaryflowers · 2 years

Text

the world, the stars, and all that is beautiful

everything changes from one blind date with a mutual friend. alternatively, a collection of moments full of love and thrill with seonghwa, all wrapped up in a pretty bow for the best day of your life

check out the playlist to the world, the stars, and all that is beautiful here!

warnings: language, hospitals + illness mentions (seonghwa is a pediatrician), one brief verbal fight mentioned

fluff, 12.5k words, seonghwa x reader

The knock on the door has your roommate more excited than you, which becomes especially funny and concerning when you remember that this is your date, not his. He scrambles off the couch to answer the visitor—who still remains a mystery to you since Hongjoong wanted to keep it a surprise—and creates a raucous in the living room that causes you to chuckle.

“Seonghwa!” he exclaims, pulling the door back with such force that it hits the wall by accident when he lets go.

His friend gives him an amused shake of his head at his enthusiasm before stepping inside and waiting in the entry.

“They’ll just be a moment,” Hongjoong says, peering behind him to check that your door is still closed.

“Sorry!” you call back, the apartment’s walls being thin enough for you to be able to hear bits of their conversation every now and then (although they are being quite loud regardless).

Your date gives a nod to your roommate, smoothing out a crease in his shirt and rubbing his slightly moist hands on his jeans.

“You look fine, Seonghwa,” Hongjoong sighs, rolling his eyes playfully.

Before the elder can respond, you try to sneak over and peer around the corner, wanting to get a look at who exactly you’re meeting, but Hongjoong has none of it. He comes and grabs your arm, dragging you out before you can finish snooping. Pushing you into your date, your roommate has a silly grin.

“Let me take a photo of you two.”

Hongjoong nudges Seonghwa’s arm, urging him to place it on your back, which he slowly does before you both look at the camera and plaster on default smiles. It’s awkward, for sure, but you can still see the brightness in his eyes, a wish to the stars to hope that this will work out.

He makes a mental note to print it out for you before pocketing his phone and turning to his two best friends. A satisfied sigh leaves his lips while they curve into a smile.

“Be good, Seonghwa,” Hongjoong says before squinting and teasing, “If you do anything to my dear y/nnie I will haunt your dreams,” but you know there’s some truth to the statement.

While the two of you laugh, you hear the tension in the back of his throat. But you trust Hongjoong, and so you trust Seonghwa enough. Even if it doesn’t work out romantically, at least you’ll get to know a mutual friend a little more. Your roommate slash best friend would never set you up with a creep, let alone be best friends with one. It’s a little strange how you haven’t gotten many opportunities to meet your best friend’s other closest friend, but sometimes that’s how the cards fall. At least you have this opportunity.

“Okay, now you can have fun,” he says, ushering the two of you out the door and shutting it with a firm click.

Now alone with Seonghwa, you bite your lip, glancing to his face. “So…did you have any plans?”

He blinks before the memory comes back to him. “Oh, yeah! If it’s not weird…I had something planned at my apartment. I’ve been meaning to try this cake sampler that I got from the bakery and—wait this does sound weird. I’m so—”

His ramblings cause a few chuckles to rise from your throat. “Don’t worry about it. I trust Joong, and I trust you enough. Besides, I quite like sweets,” you say, nudging him with your elbow.

His features begin to relax and a small grin takes over instead. “Do you wanna walk? It’s not too far.”

With a firm nod, the two of you start down the street, the crisp fall air meeting your faces.

“How long have you known Joong?” you ask, keeping your eyes trained on the buildings in front of you. “He’s always mentioned stories with you but I don’t really know much about you,” you admit, forcing your lips into a small curl.

But at your words, a fond smile finds its way to his features. “We’ve been friends since middle school,” he sighs, his eyes in the sky as he reminisces on those old, simple times. “Then we went to the same college and stayed together after that.”

“So you must have a lot of blackmail on him, huh?” you tease, which causes him to laugh.

“You could say that,” he chuckles with a faint grin. “But I’m sure you have more if you live with him.”

As you round the corner, you fall into a mellow silence, nothing but the chatter of other pedestrians and the rustling of leaves in the wind meeting your ears. Yet, you aren’t rushing to fill it with more words and laughter. It’s nice, something so natural and comfortable. Whether it’s the very small history you share or just the two of you, you aren’t sure, but it’s almost a sweet melody to fall into.

Turning to look at his face, you admire his profile. His skin is soft, as are his eyes, and within them, you find a sea of brightness, of stars speckling the deep ocean at night. It’s not even the lighting giving him the little flecks in his gaze. He’s just…stunning like that. Or maybe…it’s because he’s with—no, no way…right? Or maybe—

“This is me,” he suddenly says, bursting your bubbled reverie with a point in the direction of a brick building.

You stand to the side as he unlocks the door before taking you to the end of the tiled hallway and letting you into his own apartment. The scent of something fruity lingers in the air as you take off your shoes and place them at the end of his neat row. Taking your time, you let your eyes wander to and fro around his space. Lived in, it’s well lived in, homey and sweet.

He’s already made his way to the living area, sliding open a glass door to a small porch and backyard with a box in his hands. Still holding the handle, he turns and tilts his head.

“You coming?” he asks.

Suddenly your manners come back to you instead of leaving you ogling at how clean his place is. It’s not like there’s no character or decoration, but rather everything is purposefully placed in its location. A blanket rests on the armrest of the sofa. Above it, you spot the hexagonal shelves filled with little pictures and memorabilia. A plant or two sits on the windowsill, long arms of leaves reaching well below the overhang, and a few books are stacked on the coffee table.

“Oh! Yeah!” you exclaim, taking wide steps toward him.

A small metal table sits on the platform, overlooking a little lawn enclosed by tall wooden fences. Meanwhile he places the box on the table before stepping on the crunchy grass and surveying the small yard with his hands behind his back.

Autumn has well made itself known, warm to burnt shades of red, yellow and orange decorating the ground. The trees are mostly bare, but that doesn’t make it any less beautiful with the bright blue sky and soft puffballs that blow past above. And judging by how Seonghwa seems enamored with the peaceful scene, you imagine he quite likes it too.

“Do you spend a lot of time out here?” you call out.

Turning around to face you, he nods. “It’s nice to come out and destress.” But when he opens his mouth to speak once more, he lowers his head and bites his lip. “If I had time I would make it more lively but—”

He chooses to finish his thoughts with a shrug and a sad smile before he comes back and pulls out a chair at the table. “I love what I do, of course, but there are still things that are just wishes.”

“Oh, what do you do?” you ask, sitting down and pulling your coat tighter over your body.

He tilts his head as he takes the chair opposite to you. “Hongjoong didn’t tell you?”

“No, just that you’re usually busy,” you chuckle.

His lips quirk to the side as he opens the smooth, white box and hands you a fork. “That’s one way to say it, I guess,” he laughs. “I’m a pediatrician at KQ Hospital.”

There’s an amused grin when, after a few moments, he glances back up from splitting the miniature cakes to your face to see your slack jaw as you stare at this man.

You love Hongjoong, you really, really, do. But you can’t believe that this beautiful, nice doctor man is best friends with him.

“It’s rude to stare, y’know,” he quips.

Oh, that makes more sense.

You promptly shut your mouth and take one of the halves he cut, shoving a bite of who knows what in.

As soon as the flavors melt on your tongue not more than a moment later, you immediately forget about your date’s shitheadedness. A mixture of sweet and tart dances in your mouth, a kick of lemon zest and raspberry hitting the roof, while vanilla sponge and frosting meet the bottom and melt down, creating a pool of rich flavor.

Swallowing, you let your lips fall open with a sigh as you pick another forkful and sit back. Yes, it’s delicious, but it’s just so good that you want to savor the bit you have left first.

As you let your thoughts wander, your eyes fall on Seonghwa, and you promptly shut your mouth once more, realizing you must be drooling over how good this dessert is. Sitting up straight again, you clear your throat and put the utensil in your mouth.

“I take it that piece is good,” he laughs after he finishes swallowing his own bite of another half. “Judging by how dazed you look.”

“So good,” you mumble, unable to put words to the taste.

He nods. “I’ll try it after I finish this one,” he hums, pointing his fork down at the small, pink circle that’s been bitten into.

You gaze at the layers of vanilla cake sandwiching strawberries surrounded as you glance down at what he’s decided to eat first. But then your mind wanders back to his words.

“Do I really look that in love with a fucking piece of cake?” you groan, hiding your face in your hands.

You don’t dare to peek at him, but chuckles meet your ears. “It’s cute,” he replies, dropping his laughter a second later. “I mean, I know I probably look like that too with this piece.” He pauses before continuing and mumbling, “But you definitely look cuter than me doing it.”

Once more, your mouth falls open, but this time it’s because…what the hell do you say in response to that? After a few minutes of quiet chewing, you finish the lemon cake and take the other half of the piece Seonghwa had been eating first, the strawberry shortcake.

Digging your fork into the soft layers, you look up at the clearing of a throat.

“I..I’m sorry if that was too much,” he murmurs. “I didn’t mean to—”

“Oh!” you exclaim, dropping your utensil and shaking your hands in the air. “No, no no. It was very sweet.” Lowering your gaze from your outburst, you bite your lip. “I’ve…actually—oh this is embarrassing.”

He smiles a little at that, trying to conceal the way his heart hammers in his chest. What are you going to say next? He hasn’t the faintest clue, but he’d like to think that—

“I’ve actually kind of…liked you for…a while,” you say, finishing with a cough because lord knows you cannot handle telling him straight out.

“Oh really?” he asks, his tone lifting with each syllable.

Nodding, you hide your eyes. “Since Yunho’s birthday party.”

He hums, urging you to continue, which makes you sigh.

“Do I have to?” you whine, but you resume your thoughts nonetheless. “You were just so…put together, I guess. And even then, you were still the sweet and silly guy everyone talked about.” You let out a sheepish chuckle. “I guess ever since then you’ve caught my eye, even if we didn’t speak much.”

Shoveling the forgotten piece of cake into your mouth, you slouch down. Your eyes are trained on the slice in front of you, refusing to meet his own. This is horribly embarrassing. Never have you so blatantly admitted such a feeling. In the silence, the blood rushing past your ears is all you can hear. Did you just ruin the date? Maybe it was too early for confessions and—

“You know,” Seonghwa begins, sitting up straighter, “I think I’ve had my eye on you for longer than that.”

“Huh?” you blurt out, your head shooting up.

“Yeah,” he laughs. “Hongjoong always spoke so highly of you. I wanted to see if what he said was true.” He lowers his eyes to his own dessert before biting his lip with a small smile. “I’d say it’s pretty true so far. And the way everyone would light up when they saw you?”

“So that’s why that idiot has been pestering me for ages!” you gasp, causing Seonghwa to chuckle and his cheeks to burn a little brighter.

But his words come back to you and your blood takes a turn for your face. He really…has liked you for that long? With a breath, you finally dare to look into his orbs. God, nothing would prepare you for the sight.

There’s a gentle warmth surrounding him, his gaze, and it’s fixed on you. On you? When the realization dawns on him that you’ve made eye contact, he tilts his head, an invisible force pushing his lips into a soft curve.

“Hi there,” he quips.

It’s hard to believe he can be so calm, even flirty and confident, when you remember the things Hongjoong had insinuated about your date when he was still a mystery. Tilting your head, you try to imagine it.

Your favorite little story your roommate had told you was when his secret friend had plopped down on his couch, his head back and his fingers gently stroking his cheek as he recalled the little get together you’d just been at together.

Apparently you’d thumbed his cheek, gently helping to clean off the last of the pie that’d been thrown and unfortunately, or fortunately now that you think about it, landed on his face. Alone in the kitchen together, he couldn’t help but feel special, even if this kind of incident was a little too common in the group and you’d done this for just about every one of the unhinged guys. Maybe you lingered a little longer, held him a little softer and a little more carefully. He’d like to think that.

Could that really have been Seonghwa? The same one in front of you? The endearingly cocky and silly doctor in front of you is the same lovestruck guy who thought about you so often and whose heart raced around you?

“Y/n?” he asks, his pitch increasing a little as your reverie continues.

Coming back to your senses, you bite your lip. Meeting his eyes slowly, you finally put the pieces together. His gaze is warm, deep and sweet like brown sugar or honey, as he stares back at you. A soft smile finds its way to his plush lips when the realization that you’re now looking at him dawns on him once more.

When you give a shy wave, he grins a little more.

“How’s the cake?”

“So good,” you sigh, letting your head fall back. “You’ll have to tell me where you got them.”

Reaching across the table, he squeezes your hand, but teases you anyway. “Secret. I need to convince you to go on a second date with me somehow, right?”

His flirtatiousness causes you to hide your face once more, not wanting him to see how you’re closing your eyes and biting down furiously on your lip to not grin. Placing your head in your hands, you try your best to tell yourself that you’re fine. Everything is fine.

“Even if you decide that you’d rather stay friends, I’m glad we could get to know each other more,” he murmurs, glancing down at his plate. “I didn’t mean to make you—”

“That’s not what I meant!” you exclaim, shooting your head up from your palms. Realizing how loud you’ve become, you bring your fingers to your forehead, which causes Seonghwa’s lips to quirk. “I-I’d love that, actually.”

Letting his swirl of relief take over, he smiles widely, a small breath falling from them. “It’s a date.”

As another yawn overtakes your speech, Seonghwa chuckles, squeezing your hand. “How about we sit down somewhere?” he suggests.

Letting him lead you to a bench, the two of you fall into a sweet silence, just listening to the rustle of wind, the chitter chatter of conversations from passersby. He’s left a respectable distance between you, yet his hand still remains in yours as his warmth makes its way to you through the winter air.

“Long week?” he asks.

With long, busy days at work for the both of you, you and Seonghwa haven’t gone out in a while. Even though you do love the stay-at-home, lowkey dates you’ve been having, it’s also nice to get out every now and then. But you suppose that the high-demand life you’ve been living for a bit is catching up to you.

You hum in response, scooching closer to him as you admire the lights hung up around town. “But I wanna stay out with you for a little longer.”

“Are you sure? I can take you home if you-–”

A kiss to the cheek quiets his concerns, the warmth rushing to his face also floating towards you. Then quiet returns once more and you return to watching the world go by around you. And yet, despite the people rushing to and fro, maybe a reminder that everything goes on and everyone is their own main character, when you look to your side, to the laced fingers against the wooden bench, it all feels irrelevant. This, this right here, this is the world.

Almost as if he can sense the thoughts in your head, he turns to face you cupping your cheek and tilting your chin towards him.

With the twinkle in his eyes, perhaps from a mischief or maybe the light’s reflection or their natural shine, or maybe even all three, he meets your gaze. Pink dusts his cheeks but they burn, leaving you wondering if it’s from the chill or his flusteredness.

But before you can ask, he softly brings his lips to yours in a simple peck. He pulls away all too quickly, leaving yours to chase his for another moment of the sweetness of his mouth on yours. And there’s that sparkle again, brighter than any star in the sky or the full moon or the snowflake lights all around you to celebrate the season. There’s that bashful smile twirling with his quirked mouth blending giddiness and flirtatiousness that’s just so absolutely Seonghwa.

However you just know he’s being a tease, and you can’t take that anymore, not right now. So you take the lapel of his jacket in your hands and pull him closer to you, meeting his lips with yours. That surely wipes the smirk off his face.

“Y’know,” you mumble as you pull away, “I was never really fond of winter?”

“Oh?” he asks, following behind you as you stand.

You hum. “It’s just so cold.”

When you don’t hear from him for a moment, you turn to see if he’s still following you, but he sneaks up behind you anyway, stealing your hand and tucking it into his pocket.

“True. But the memories are warm, no? The memories, the people, the experiences, just like this.”

“I suppose…yes.”

His lips quirk up. “So maybe I’ll just have to keep you warm every winter then, hm?”

Curse Seonghwa for always knowing and having the kinds of words that make your heart flutter and race in an instant. You lower your head to eye the ground, the flusteredness you experience around him something that still makes you shy.

And maybe that’s a good thing. Because you don’t think you would be able to stand watching him take pretty pictures of you, of your intertwined hands on this windy night, all with the most fond, lovestruck smile on his face, with the warmest, softest eyes in the world. As he captures the sparkling lights reflecting around you, the gentlest sprinkle of snow falling on your shoulders, the soft grin you sport, his hand that still hasn’t let go of yours, the moon above, he can’t help but think that he’s just…happy. He’s so warm, it might as well be summer.

The thing Seonghwa likes most about your room is how it’s just so…you. Your personality and energy come out tenfold with the little trinkets and the colors and the decorations. It’s so cozy, so sweet, so comforting.

And here he is, laying in your bed and waiting for you to come out of the shower. It doesn’t feel quite real.

Being together for a few months, the butterflies of an aging crush but a new love are floating around in his stomach. He scrolls on his phone, trying to pass the minutes, but they still feel slow. He can’t stop his foot from twitching, the energy having nowhere else to go.

But the moment the door clicks and you reveal yourself, he tosses the device aside, his head shooting up to see your face.

He somehow looks even cuter like this, no fancy clothes. It’s just him, his fluffy hair, his bare face, his softest pajamas. A fond smile starts to overtake your features as you try to commit this moment to memory.

“Sorry if I took a while,” you hum, walking through your room to get on the other side of the bed.

“N-no, it was fine,” he murmurs in return.

You lift the blanket and crawl in, but its warmth is nothing compared to the body of the man next to you. Resting your head on his chest, you wrap your arms around his middle and settle in. Something tells you that this might be the best night of sleep you’ll get.

He presses a kiss to the top of your head before tangling his legs with yours and pulling you closer, snuggling further into your sheets and causing you to giggle.

“Wow, getting so bold on your first night staying over here, huh?”

His pulse picks up under your ear, filling your head with the quickened pace of his heart. It’s already nice enough to hear it, but to hear how it beats for you, how he reacts to your simple words and touches? Maybe you both haven’t verbalized it yet, but he loves you. He loves you so much.

He grumbles something before you place a hand on his chest, pushing yourself up to kiss his jaw to sedate him. However, after you place your lips on his skin, you cup his cheeks, turning his face to clearly look at yours, and blossoms of pink and rose bloom all over. If the heat wasn’t embarrassing enough, the knowing glint in your eye does it, causing a sheepish smile to force its way past his efforts and his gaze to glance down at your embroidered blanket.

“Hey,” you murmur. “Nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Flicking his chest with your fingers, you force him to look at you. But rather than meet your eyes, he settles his gaze on your lips. Good enough.

“I love you.”

Childish giggles fill the air, bubbling the room with a simple, unadulterated joy and excitement. It’s that of a baby seeing their doting parents, a dog when you return from work, a man simply in love with you.

You’re about to scoff at him when he brings his lips close to yours, his breath brushing your skin as he nuzzles his nose with yours to repeat the words to you. “I love you.”

And now it’s your turn to squeal, immediately burying your face in the nearest pillow, which causes your boyfriend to laugh.

“Really?” he teases.

“You’re just so–”

He huffs. “Why don’t you cuddle me properly instead?”

Well, how can you resist?

So you pull your head off the cushion, resting it on his shoulder and settling your hands around his warm shirt.

The heat of your skin, especially on your cheeks, seeps through his pajamas, leaving you both flustered, it seems. In silence, he rubs long, slow strokes down your back until he feels the gentle rhythm of your chest rising and falling become a leisured wave.

Then he presses his lips to the top of your head, reaching for his phone. You’d both forgotten to close the blinds before climbing into bed, leaving moonlight to shine through the window and on your skin, illuminating the side of your face that’s squished against his body.

So he swipes to the camera, snapping a quick picture that shows the content quirk of your lips and the bottom half of his face. Even while you’re unconscious, Seonghwa makes you happy.

He makes a mental note to print the picture out later before he slips the device back on the nightstand and returns his hands to hold you. Knowing you’re happy, that makes him happy. Despite the storm in his stomach, there’s always an ease to being with you, and sleep comes easily to him today.

It’s too early to say if you’re the one, for sure, but Seonghwa can’t say he won’t be surprised if you are.

Your giggles are music to his ears as you both walk back under the starry sky to your apartment. It’s been a while since you all hung out with your group of friends and you’d forgotten how funny and weird (affectionately) they could be.

“I hope your birthday was still good, even if Wooyoung made the whole restaurant sing happy birthday and called you old.”

Seonghwa chuckles. “It was wonderful.” He then leans in close, his breath fanning your ear, mumbling, “I dare say it was the best,” before he kisses your cheek and resumes walking.

Despite mastering composure at his sudden bouts of flirtiness, you still feel the hammering of your heart at what he insinuates; it’s because of you.

“I hope…you’re always happy,” you whisper.

He smiles, squeezing your hand. He figures if he’s with you, he’ll always be happy in life.

However any verbal response he had brewing is quickly quieted as you scamper off, bouncing at a fence gate. “I didn’t know there was a playground here!” you exclaim, unclicking the latch and letting yourself in.

It’s small, but a slide and a set of swings still sit in the grass, along with a tiny sand pit, all illuminated by the few streetlamps littering the sidewalk.

Seonghwa watches as you find the swingset, sitting yourself down and gently pushing yourself into the air. There’s a freeness to your movement, a simple, unadulterated grin that laces your face as you soar up and up.

With a smile, he joins you on the next swing, slowly picking up pace. But when he comes into view, you blink, suddenly remembering yourself.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to take away from you,” you sputter, your voice floating away into the night.

But his smile simply grows wider. “Don’t worry about it, baby. You didn’t. And I’m more than happy to be here.”

With a breath of relief, you let a few moments of warm silence pass despite the chill of early spring in the air.

“I just love the park,” you finally whisper.

“I love the park too,” he quips, although you aren’t sure if he’s just saying that because he loves you, ergo he loves what you love, or because he actually does.

But you can see how the park is just so…Seonghwa. It’s a happy kind of place, a place of nice, fond memories, where kids come to play, dogs come to run around, and adults come on peaceful walks. If you had to describe him in a single word, it’d be warm.

You sigh thinking about it. Life with him is just so…comfortable, so content. You could cry if you think about it for too long. But today isn’t about you, nor do you want to cry tonight. So you come flying off the swing in an elegant arc, meeting his gaze with a raised brow.

“Race you home!” you challenge, taking off in the direction of your apartment.

And despite your efforts and your head start, he still overtakes you. Perhaps being on his feet all day and taking care of rambunctious kids has given him plenty of stamina. Nevertheless, he waits for you to catch up by the entrance to the building, watching as your chest heaves up and down from all the running with that annoyingly cute quirk of his lips.

“What the hell, Park Seonghwa,” you gasp.

“You’re the one who wanted a race, no?” he retorts with an obnoxious(ly endearing) tilt of his head.

Rolling your eyes, you unlock the door and flick on the lights. Seonghwa steps in behind you, slipping off his shoes then heading to the kitchen to get a drink. But, watching him almost in slow motion, you gasp, realization rushing to your head.

“No, wait!”

He turns around and lifts his brows, backing away from the fridge as you come barreling in and stand in front of it with your arms out.

“Can you sit down?” you ask. “Just gimme a moment?”

Somehow his eyes go even wider but he obliges and takes a seat at the small dinner table, watching you intently. Sensing his gaze, you shut the lights off, rummaging around the refrigerator and the cabinets, looking for everything you need in the dark.

And then when you come out with a beautiful cake and a few lit candles burning on top, Seonghwa shakes his head, although you both know from the smile lacing his lips that he’s just…he feels so full.

“Baby,” he murmurs, standing and walking slowly towards you. He helps you hold the cake up before leaning over it and meeting your lips. “You didn’t have to do all this.”

“I wanted to, just something for the two of us, hm?”

He beams.

Bringing a peck to his lips, you slowly pull away, whispering, “I know you like some things all to yourself.”

That he does.

So he blows out the candles, insisting that you cut the cake. As you plate a slice to share, he dips his finger in the vanilla buttercream before poking it with his tongue.

“How is it?” you ask, your eyes low as you begin to pack the extras back in the original box.

“Hm, it’s good,” he hums. Seeing your gaze still trained on the finicky container, he smirks. “I think it would be sweeter if–”

Instead of hearing the rest of his sentence, you’re met with the smallest dab of soft sugar on your cheek and a peck from the Park Seonghwa.

“Huh!?” you sputter.

“I was right,” he teases. “Much better.”

With a playful roll of your eyes, you find his lips, the residue of cake lingering on your own. “I suppose it is better this way,” you exhale, refusing to pull away and causing your breath to float towards him.

“I’m always right, aren’t I?”

You sigh, swatting his arm teasingly before heading to the kitchen.

When you return from putting the box in the fridge, Seonghwa is in the middle of chewing, a small bite still on his fork. He looks up from his seat when you enter, following your gaze as you move to sit across from him.

“Thank you,” he whispers, “for tonight, for everything.”

And then, of course, he smears another bit of frosting on your lips, sealing it with just another photo and, as always, a kiss.

Your face is buried in your phone as you pound out texts to your annoying coworker. You’ve been working overtime all week and you’d requested the afternoon off long ago, so there is no reason why he should be on your neck right now.

Your feet lead you through the halls of the hospital, not even having to think about it to know where Seonghwa will be. Your attention is preoccupied, but you don’t have to pay any attention, almost as if it’s become a second nature, finding him. And sure enough, there he is in the pediatric wing. Although, he notices you before you can do the same to him.

“Hold on tight!” he exclaims to the young girl on his back before he ducks down and makes zooming noises as the two of them approach you.

He comes to an abrupt stop in front of you, pausing to wait for you to realize something—or someone—is in your way, and when you notice his shoes under the view of your phone, you shoot your head up, the crease in your forehead smoothening and your lips curving into a smile when you meet his face.

“Tough day?” he asks.

“You have no idea,” you sigh before you catch a glimpse of the child he’s piggybacking. “Hey there,” you coo.

“This is Maisie,” he says, patting her hand. “Maisie, this is y/n.”

Her eyes widen at his statement. “Y/n! Dr. Park has a crush on you,” she giggles.

Letting your eyes flicker to Seonghwa, you grin at the light dusting of pink beginning to coat his cheeks, the cute child clinging to his coat, the little bear plush on the end of his stethoscope. “Oh really?” you ask, letting your pitch go higher to seem surprised.

She nods confidently. “He told me himself!”

“Come on,” Seonghwa whines, shaking his head in fake annoyance. “That was a secret!” he whispers into her ear, but loud enough for you to hear.

She simply squeals when he starts tickling her, chasing her a few feet down the hall while pretending to be a monster to tease her before hoisting her back up on his back.

The three of you then begin walking back to Maisie’s room, and you happily indulge in her babblings about the hospital and especially Dr. Park. Hearing her gush about how he’s the “bestest doctor ever” causes even more color to rush to his face and the smile on yours to grow even bigger.

But when you arrive and he puts her down at her door, already preparing goodbyes so he can finish up his work and get out of here for your date, it simply hasn’t been enough time. Her eyes instantly glaze over, her lip quivering before she starts to sniffle and hold her arms up to him.

“You’re leaving?” she whimpers. “But we just started playing.”

Kneeling down to her level, he rubs her head affectionately. “I have to finish working, Maisie. We can play tomorrow; how’s that sound?”

“But—”

“How about I play with you until Dr. Park is done?’ you pipe up, which seems to placate the patient, excitement returning to her gaze.

“Really!?” she exclaims, taking your hand and dragging you towards the bed.

When you look back, Seonghwa’s eyes are soft, a little smile lacing his lips, but he still mouths, “Are you sure?” to which you give a firm nod.

“Don’t worry about it,” you whisper back before turning to the girl again.

“I’ll come back when I’m done to say goodbye, okay?” Seonghwa asks her.

She looks at him and blinks before turning back to you, not paying him any mind before pulling out a puzzle you recognize from the gift shop. Dumping it out on the table, she quickly starts sorting the pieces based on the cat picture on the box, like she’s done this plenty of times before.

“You can start the outside,” she says, not looking up from her task. “I’ll do the brown cat first.”

You give a nod and begin gathering the edge pieces. “Do you like cats, Maisie?”

With a shrug, she looks up, her eyes growing wondrous and bright. “They’re okay. I like dogs. I have one named Cheese!”

“Oh really?” You give her a smile.

“Yeah. But Dr. Park got me this,” she says, returning to her task already.

“So, how long have you been here?” you ask, taking a pile of pieces and moving them in front of you.

She lifts her head for a moment, her eyes on the ceiling. “Maybe thwee months.”

Giving a solemn bounce of your head, you click two puzzle pieces together.

But despite the gravity of your question, she pauses and looks to you with wide eyes, a sparkle of realization floating within them when she asks quickly, “Are you Dr. Park’s favorite?”

“Me!?” you exclaim, pointing at yourself in surprise as your mouth falls open.

She bobs her head and frowns. “Dr. Park said I’m not his favorite. But he has a crush on you; it has to be you!”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” you chuckle sheepishly, ducking your head and trying to focus your attention on the pieces in front of you.

“It’s true!”

With a bite of your lip, you fall into a lull of conversation as she gets into doing the puzzle, her attention all on the many cats in front of you. And soon enough, the bits start to come together, forming a picture of a few kittens cuddled up together, plus a few holes from where you haven’t quite finished yet.

But the shadow lurking in the door’s window is what catches your eye, and you bite back a smile as you imagine how it must be Seonghwa trying to figure out how to steal you away. Turning your head back to the table, your gaze falls upon Maisie’s bleary, blinking eyes, trying to fight off sleep.

“How about we leave this here for next time?” you ask, rubbing her head. “I think you should get some rest, hm?”

Despite rubbing her eyes, she shakes her head. “I’m o—”

Instead of finishing her words, a yawn overtakes her, and you help her out of the chair, guiding her into the tall bed and pulling the blanket up to her chin. Just as you’re about to step away, the grip on your finger tightens, even if it’s just the slightest, so you turn back to face her, squeezing her hand.

“You’ll come back, right, y/n?” she murmurs.

Nodding, you ruffle her hair and smile. “I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

With that, she falls into a peaceful slumber, and you tiptoe out, of course finding her favorite Dr. Park standing outside, his mouth in a small circle as he blinks back at you.

“Shall we?” you ask, tilting your head at him.

He gives a firm nod, coming back to his senses and offering out his arm for you to take. When he wraps it around your back, he presses you into his side with a fond smile.

“You’re amazing, you know,” he sighs.

“Me?” you gasp, shaking your head. “You do this every day, Seonghwa.”

He hums, allowing for a moment of silence before he kisses your temple. That is true. However, even though he always loved kids and taking care of them, learning to comfort and watch out for them in some of the most difficult and painful moments in their lives thus far was something he had to learn, then practice and hone until this moment. And you…you just seem to get it. He’s known deep down all along, but it’s so apparent now; there’s just something so warm, so honest and pure about you, how you love. You love and care with your whole heart and your whole being. Anyone who comes across you just can’t help themselves from being fond of you.

He smiles, shaking his head from his reverie. “I love you,” he says.

Squeezing his hand in a sleepy response, you allow yourself to relax into his hold as he leads you to the lobby, the pediatric wing being one of the farthest from the parking lot.

The longer you walk, the more your eyes begin to lower and settle, the toll of the long work day hitting you. As your weight begins to rest more and more on Seonghwa’s side, he smiles fondly, rubbing your arm with his hand. This is something he will never get tired of.

“I hope…this’ll still be us in 10 years,” he whispers. “In 20, in 30, in forever.”

Maybe he’s making things up but he swears he feels you nuzzle your head against him at that and he can’t help but grin.

As his colleagues greet him, making quick pauses to say hello before they return to rushing around the building, he can’t help but feel his chest swell with pride. This amazing person clinging to his side, you’re his. And he’s forever yours.

And judging by the twinkles in the older doctors’ eyes, they know it. They see it. It’s a relationship of a lifetime.

Seonghwa sighs as you reach the lobby atrium. He’s so…he feels so warm. Sure, not everything is exactly perfect in his life—and nothing ever is; that’s just how it is—but he couldn’t care less when he has you by his side. It’s worth it if it’s you.

He rubs your arm, trying to carefully coax you from your slumber as you pass the fish tank, knowing you always pass it with a brightness in your gaze when you visit. There’s a small quirk to his lips as you lift your head and rub your bleary eyes.

“Hm?” you mumble. “Did I fall asleep?”

He chuckles softly, “Yeah, babe.” He then places his hands on your shoulders, gently turning you around to face the large cylinder that reaches from the floor to the ceiling. “Did you wanna see the fish?”

Gasping, you lean in to kiss his cheek before taking a step towards the glass. “Oh, they’re so cute,” you coo, watching their mouths open and close with a simple joy.

Seonghwa smiles, slipping his hands into his pockets to pull out his phone. Your eyes are so wide, so sparkly as you gaze at the small creatures. Of course he has to take a picture.

“Going home, Dr. Park?” a voice calls to him.

Your boyfriend turns around, smiling as he greets his old friend. “Gonna get dinner and then head back,” he hums. “You?”

Jongho shakes his head. “Stuck on call tonight.”

Without noticing the other doctor from your view, you come up to Seonghwa, looping your arm through his. “Can we– oh, hi!”

“This is Jongho,” Seonghwa says. “Jongho, y/n, my–”

“Oh you’re y/n!” the former gasps. “Y’know, Seonghwa, all he does is gush about–”

“Hey!” he whines, dusty pink immediately flooding his cheeks, but you simply giggle, kissing his cheek.

“You do, huh?” you tease, squeezing his wrist just a little bit more.

Your boyfriend lets out a sigh, holding tighter on to your arm. “Well…”

Rolling his eyes, Jongho takes a step back, knowing his friend’s antics. “Anyway I don’t wanna keep you guys here. Enjoy dinner.” He then glances at the giant tank you were admiring a few moments earlier. “Unless you guys want a picture?”

“Yes please!” you exclaim, dragging Seonghwa backwards to the fish once more before he can even take a breath (not that he would refuse anyway).

So your boyfriend places his hand around you and you return with a side hug as Jongho moves into place.

However as he starts to count down, Seonghwa takes your hand, spinning you to face each other.

“Three.”

“What’re you–”

“Two.”

He places his lips on yours, a small smirk against your mouth as he pulls you closer, leaving you with wide eyes.

“One.”

Seonghwa makes a mental note to send the pictures you took of the two of you in your fancy clothes before and during dinner to himself as he puts the dishes in the dishwasher. Even though it was just a simple date at home, he finds that these are his favorite times with you. Neither of you need to be somewhere expensive to have fun. Rather, the ordinary, peaceful moments with just each other, where you can tease him for not knowing how to put on a tie or where you can simply admire him in the kitchen, are your favorites.

Since you’ve finished cleaning up the table, you come into the room and wrap your arms around him from behind, now clad in a plain t-shirt and shorts.

“Hm?” he hums. “What’s up, angel?”

“Nothin’,” you murmur into his back. “Just…love you.”

He smiles. “I love you more.”

“Impossible.”

As the last utensil goes into the basket, you place a slow kiss on his neck and he grasps the hands laced in front of his waist. He leads you out to the living room and you follow in silence, still attached to his back, knowing that anywhere he goes is somewhere you’re more than happy to go to too.

Silence now fills the room as he lights a candle on the shelf and pushes his coffee table to the side, nothing but the distant chatter of pedestrians and traffic just beyond the walls reaching your ears. With a warmth of vanilla beginning to meet your nostrils, you bury your nose into his shirt, letting his cologne swim in your mind.

But then his pant leg brushes against your calf, and you’re reminded of how casually you’re dressed now that you’ve changed out of the clothes you came in. So, as he makes his way to his phone on the couch, you reach your hands up from his middle to ruffle his hair then let loose the top couple buttons on his shirt before returning your hands to his waist.

“What’s that about?” he teases.

“Mm, nothing,” you murmur.

He turns in your hold, pressing the screen of his phone a few times, a few clicks coming before he taps it again and a gentle melody waltzes into the room. His phone is tossed aside in favor of holding you, his hands coming under your arms and finding their place on your back.

Moving gently, he rocks you back and forth and presses sweet kisses to your head to the rhythm.

This is it. It hits Seonghwa like a truck. Nothing will be better than this, not unless you’re by his side. This…this is what he wants and will want for a lifetime, for forever.

He can see it all with you, celebrating every milestone, every anniversary both old and new, helping each other through the tough times, moving in with you, putting a ring on your finger, growing old together. What does a future without you in it even look like?

A breath falls from his lips. Wow…

Maybe you can read his mind. You glance towards his eyes, your own boring into his with a deepness richer than the ocean or the most expensive treasure. Then you bring your lips to his, never leaving for more than a couple seconds to breathe and his chasing each time you go. Minutes pass, maybe hours, just you two in each other’s arms, swaying to your own beat. This is it.

And when you both grow too tired to stand, the soft tunes still humming along in the background, you collapse on the couch, his arms bringing you as close to his chest as possible before he nuzzles his nose against your neck. Even if Seonghwa’s bed is much larger and comfier than his living room sofa, peaceful slumber comes to you both.

The last thing you see before you close your eyes for the evening is the bright stars shining through the windows, above the roofs and the trees. The world is so, so big. How lucky are you to be here, to have found him?

You press a kiss to his temple, then tumble into the endless pool of love you share.

“Can you tell me a story?” you sigh, rolling around in his grasp and placing a hand on Seonghwa’ chest.

“Sure…you must be stressed, huh? You usually fall asleep quickly with me.”

“All I can think about is my report,” you frown.

He thinks for a moment, stroking your cheek. “What kinda story?”

Trying to come up with ideas, you resettle in his hold, thinking of what you need to hear most right now. “Can you tell me how you fell in love with me?”

His lips quirk. “Of course.”

As he ponders for a moment, his chest rises and falls in a slow rhythm, that of a late night wave rumbling against the sand, and you let yourself fall into it, the endless ocean of loving Seonghwa. He rubs his hand over the one of yours that rests near his heart, kissing your fingers.

“Well,” he starts, suddenly shy, heat coming off his face, “You know—you know about…what Hongjoong said. He’d always gush about how you were the sweetest, kindest person he knew.”

He pauses, brushing your cheek with his thumb before stroking your back.

“He’s right, y’know” he adds, a murmur under his breath. “And whenever I saw you…you just…made everyone laugh and smile like it was the first time again. And of course you’re so stunning, so I kinda…I kinda admired you from afar, friends but barely, only mutual. I guess we were really acquaintances.

“A-and then…Hongjoong asked me if he could set me up with someone.” He grins a little as he recalls the day he received that text, his eyes fluttering closed fondly like the world’s most beautiful butterfly wings on a peaceful day against a soft flower. “I figured it’d been a while since I dated, so I agreed.”

You giggle softly into his chest, his low, soft voice meeting your ears, a fireplace kind of warmth on a cold night and lulling you into a relaxed state of mind.

“And you’re so fun and cute to be around: it was only natural. And everything Hongjoong said was true and thensome, and feeling all the happiness and laughter you give other people…for me…that…I…I just feel so warm, so full, with you. So myself, so loved.

“I love you,” he whispers. “I was slowly falling in love with you, and then it…it just hit me all at once. That I couldn’t imagine a future without you, that I just felt so…happy…with you, that you made everything better, that you make everything better. I am so happy with you.”

You twitch in his hold, rolling over slightly so he can see your lazy, lowered eyes and soft smile. While your breaths have become slower and deeper, he knows you can still hear him, just teetering on the edge of sleep.

“And I’m so proud of you. You’re gonna kill it at your presentation tomorrow.”

With that, you give in, cuddling close and absorbing his warmth under the covers to find a restful night. Listening to the beat of your heart over him, he sighs. After a soft click of the camera, he puts his phone back on the nightstand. You’re just the cutest, how can he resist?

“I love you,” he mumbles once more. “I…don’t even know…what a future without you would be, y’know. I want it all with you, and I’ll give you…I’ll give you my everything.”

Then he slips into the same peaceful slumber, knowing nothing about what’s to come, except that it’ll all be fine, since you’re here, cozied up on top of him. Even in sleep, you cling to him, and he to you.

Seonghwa runs a hand through his hair before he buries his face in his palms. Why did he say those things? Sitting alone in his—your—apartment, in the shivering silence, he sighs. He might just be the biggest idiot on the planet.

He pushes a hand through his hair once more then holds his fingers to his forehead as he tries to recall your fight.

You’re right. All he’s been doing the whole week has been squabbling with you, arguing with you about things you’ve just been trying to work on, for the both of you.

Every time you excitedly ran up to him as he came home, planted a kiss on his cheek, and then started rattling off possible ideas for your new apartment together (an idea he’d brought up in the first place), he responded with a quick “No” or “Later” or some variant, then padded off to the bedroom. All you wanted was to take a burden off his shoulders, to take a little more charge of decorating your new shared home while he was a bit more occupied than usual with work. And yet, he just brushed you off. All because he was too stressed and bothered to deal with it, with you. You aren’t a bother; Seonghwa doesn’t even know when he started or why he’s talking like that. Would you even want to move in with him after this?

Shaking his head, he lets his eyes wander to the window, a quick winter dusk falling upon the landscape. Are you okay? You haven’t come back in—he checks the clock—almost an hour, and immediately the dread and worry flood over his stomach. The churning acid turns to a storm in his belly, threatening to rise and blow over. Where on earth could you be?

He rushes out, grabbing the first jacket on the hook near the entrance before standing in the street and turning his head to and fro. Taking another deep breath, he begins to pace and runs through where you could’ve gone. Maybe Hongjoong’s?

But when he checks his phone and doesn’t see a single message from him, he knows that’s not it. If Hongjoong knew what he’d done to you, he would be giving his best friend the biggest ass whooping and lecture of a lifetime.

Maybe you went to your favorite cafe, the one a few blocks over, to pick up a small treat. He heads in that direction, no other leads to go off of, wind biting at his cheeks.

And yet, when he passes the small playground on the way there, he realizes he’s even bigger of a dumbass.

He opens the gate slowly, trying to minimize the squealing of the metal, before he shoves his hands in his pockets and makes his way to the swings. Surely enough, there you are, gently rocking back and forth on the small set, your feet dragging in the ground.

“Mind if I join?” he murmurs.

Glancing up, you find his eyes, a color as dark as the sky in this crescent moon night.

“Sure,” you mumble, bringing your gaze back to your shoes.

He takes the swing next to you and starts to gently pump his legs alongside you. “I’m sorry.” Allowing for a moment of silence, he continues. “You have every right to be mad. I’m an ass.”

His words cause you to snicker. Hearing the kids’ favorite doctor let out such profanities is a little amusing, you have to admit, even if your heart feels so heavy in this moment. “That’s one way to put it.”

“All you wanted was to help, to make things easier. And I wasn’t responding at all. I made things worse, huh?”

He’s met with a slow nod.

“I shouldn’t have taken my frustration out on you. I…I’m gonna be better. I promise, and I’m sorry.”

Finally you lift your gaze from the ground, meeting his. The puffiness surrounding your orbs causes a lump to form in his throat.

“We can’t really go back. But can you do something for me?”

He blinks. Then it all happens at once.

“Yes!” He jumps off the swing and stands in front of you, getting to his knees. “Anything! I-I’m gonna be better. A-and if you don’t wanna…move in with me right now, I get it. I’ll–”

You’re falling into his arms, resting your head against his warmth and letting small streams flow down your face. “Of course I wanna live with you, you idiot,” you chuckle despite the tears falling from your cheeks.

And he’s stroking your back as his own salty droplets begin to meet your skin. “We’re gonna make this work, I promise.”

“Just…talk to me, talk to me, Hwa.”

Kissing your temple, he lets himself sink into your embrace. “I know, angel. I should’ve just talked to you…way before today.”

A beat passes before you test the waters, slowly sliding your hand into his. Of course, he greets it with a hearty squeeze.

“How about we go to that cafe, and you can tell me about all the places you found and your ideas?” he asks.

“Only if you’re paying,” you quip.

“Wouldn’t dream of anything else, angel.”

And so you begin telling him about all of the cute little houses you’d found and saved online, about all the dreamy living rooms you could imagine lounging in with him, all the gorgeous kitchens you could see the two of you cooking together in. He takes it all in, already picturing a life together, a place where you can grow even more, side by side.

The only thing to take him from the peaceful bubble you’ve created is you pulling your phone from your pocket, watching as you take a picture of your intertwined, swinging hands.

“Hm?”

Blinking at him, you smile a little. “I wanna remember it all,” you murmur. “The good…the bad. The good is self explanatory, but the bad, we grow from it, no?”

He nods.

“I wanna remember everything with you.”

His heart squeezes, and he can’t help but pull you into an embrace right in the middle of the sidewalk.

In the end, it was a cute, quaint place in a quiet neighborhood around the same distance from your office and the hospital that you settled on. With the light that always streamed through into the kitchen and the beautiful bay window in the living room opposite a large fireplace, how could you say no? Not to mention there was a spacious backyard, perfect for the two of you to start a little plant family. There was just plenty of room for you and Seonghwa, enough for you to grow yet not too much where it would be lonely or overwhelming.

Speaking of your boyfriend, he comes inside with an unceremonious plop, bringing the last box from the moving truck.

“Lunch break?” you ask, handing him a glass of water.

He nods, taking the cup and letting the liquid slide down his throat.

“We probably have some noodles somewhere or something,” you wonder aloud as you turn and rifle through the containers littering the ground, looking for some utensils and pots. When you finish finding everything you need, you leave Seonghwa in the entryway, his chest still heaving as he wipes the droplets from his chin. Who knew moving would be this much work? Regardless, it makes no difference to him; it’ll be worth it.

With his breath at last under control, he makes his way to you, placing the empty glass in the sink and wrapping his arms around you. A kiss finds its way under your ear as he watches you turn on the stove.

“I was thinking we could do the kitchen and bedroom today,” you say, melting at his touch. “Then work on the living room and other stuff. Maybe we can start the garden stuff when it’s warmer in a few weeks or so.”

“That sounds good, angel.”

And silence falls upon you as you eat lunch, as you continue unpacking into the evening. Even then, you don’t need words to communicate with Seonghwa. A simple sigh will call him over to help you move a particularly heavy box up the stairs. A quick glance will tell you where he wants a plant or decoration to be put, and vice versa.

By the time sunset falls, the bedroom is all set up, the bathroom stocked and the kitchen essentials all put away. You let yourself fall into the bed, your body sinking into the fluff as the exhaustion of the day hits you. Yet, there’s a large grin on your face as you stare at your lovely boyfriend standing in the doorway.

It’s all real, huh?

Seonghwa chuckles, stealing a picture that he hides under the pretense of playing music, before he settles in next to you. Pressing a kiss to your cheek, he props his head up against his fist and admires you.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” you ask, noticing his eyes on you.

He shakes his head. “No.”

“Then why are you—”

“Can’t I admire my favorite person in the world?” he asks.

Lowering your gaze, you let your smile grow, if that was even possible. But, a moment of silence later, his stomach gurgles, causing you to chuckle instead.

“How about take out for dinner?” he asks.

“Only if you get those dumplings and egg tarts,” you quip.

“Done and done.”

Rolling the shopping cart to a stop in front of the cereal aisle, you turn and bring your fingers to your chin as you examine the options. With a hum, you take a box of oat cereal and turn to Seonghwa, his arms on either side of you to keep you between him and the metal handle.

“You think this is good?” you ask, turning the package in your hands as you check the ingredients and try to imagine its taste.

“How about…” He reaches for the same type of cereal, but a version with dried fruit. “This one?”

Chuckling, you take the box and place it in the cart, rolling away from his grasp and towards the dairy section.

“Hey!” he exclaims, running after you with a pout. “You’re really gonna leave your beloved boyfriend alone in the grocery store?”

Luckily a quick peck seems to placate him before you go about the shopping and Seonghwa…he’s somewhere getting stuff you definitely do need. Rolling your eyes as you pull out the seemingly endless bags of sweets and snacks, you ultimately give in to his puppy eyes.

“Maybe you shouldn’t leave your boyfriend alone in the grocery store,” he teasingly sing-songs in your ear during checkout.

“You’re ridiculous, Hwa,” you sigh, shaking your head as you try to hide the smile lacing your lips.

Your efforts, however, clearly are for nothing when his mouth brushes the rim of your ear to mumble, “you love it,” before returning to packing the groceries.

“Never mind, you’re the worst.”

He pouts. “Hey!”

Getting deja vu as you roll the cart into the parking lot, he clings to your arm once more as you usher him towards the car. He does let go to help you put the bags in the trunk, but once you start pushing the shopping cart back towards the store, he’s back, holding on to your waist.

“I love you,” he whispers against your back.

With a chuckle, you reach for his hand and press a kiss to his fingers. “I love you more.”

“Impossible.”

The second the cart clinks with the others and is out of your grasp, Seonghwa moves his arms to wrap around yours, waddling you both back to the car.

“Is everything okay, Hwa?” you ask.

He definitely does like PDA, but this seems like a new level. Had you missed something? Perhaps something at work? Or…oh no was it an anniversary? Maybe that employee was actually flirting and he was jealous (okay maybe that’s it, just the littlest bit)?

“Yeah,” he hums. “Why’d you ask?”

“Mm, you’re extra touchy today. There’s nothing wrong with that—I mean, I’m happy if you are, and I love it—but I just…wanna know if you’re good, y’know?”

He nods against you. “I guess…I just, I feel a little extra lucky today.”

A nice quiet comes through as words get blown into the wind. With a sigh, you admire the sky as the puffy clouds float past, revealing a shy sunset, a dance of pinks and purples, warm yellows and oranges mixing above, causing halos to appear over the white puffballs.

Maybe he’s right. Maybe today is just a lucky day.

That’s especially true since Seonghwa doesn’t notice you pull out your phone to snap a picture until you turn the camera to face you both, his face buried against you.

“Cheese!” you exclaim, but he glances up a moment too late.

Chuckling, you open the photo, seeing his surprised yet steady, warm gaze still looking at you as if you brightened the whole world, like you were the most beautiful star in the sky, the most important masterpiece in the world despite all the beauty behind you both.

“Hey! Lemme see!” he exclaims.

“No, it’s mine!” you squeal, shoving your phone in your pocket and breaking free to dash towards the car.

He shakes his head, a fond smile on his face as he lets you run ahead. You may win this time, but he’ll definitely be getting that selfie later.

You know it isn’t an ordinary Saturday afternoon when Seonghwa jumps at the sound of the front door opening. With raised brows, you eye him for a moment before taking off your coat.

“Just gimme 10 minutes then we can head out?” you ask.

“Sounds good,” he hums, but you sense the tension in his throat. “I, uh, was actually thinking we could…stay here?”

Nodding, you try to shake off his uneasiness, guessing it must be from work. Maybe there’d been a particularly tough case earlier in the week. Or maybe he hadn’t slept well? But you immediately know the latter idea is far from the truth with the way he refused to let you go when you woke up earlier.

Regardless, when you come back downstairs and he hands you a bouquet of sweet lavenders and blooming sunflowers with the brightest smile in the universe, you put your worries to rest.

He’d been extra jumpy about today’s date, usually sprinkling in teasing hints throughout the days prior about something new he wanted to try or a recipe he had in mind for dinner. But there was absolutely nothing for today. Even when you’d get curious and ask, he’d pretend to zip his mouth shut, throwing away the key like he was in elementary school again. Maybe it was a habit he’d picked up from the kids, a thought that makes you grin when you imagine them teaching him.

Nonetheless, he leads you out to the backyard with his hand over yours, the blooms of mid-Spring meeting your nose and a bright blue sky above that speckles with the start of sunset. With the warmer weather, your little garden has sprouted once more, a reminder of all the time and love you’ve grown and built with the love of your life. And the table and chairs set up await on the patio, perfectly for a peaceful date night that’s almost reminiscent of your first date with Seonghwa.

You can’t help but admire the little lights you put up last summer along the fence either. Everything just came together so well. It’s a little hard to believe it’s all yours. Even your boyfriend notices them, glancing up from where his hands are intertwined in front of your waist as the two of you admire the handiwork you’ve put into this space together.

But after a moment, Seonghwa tugs on your arm. When you glance at him with raised brows, he simply smiles, leading you back to the table a few steps away and inviting you to sit down. A wide array of dishes from snacks and dinner foods to dessert all lay in front of you, leaving you to wonder when and how he got this all set up. But when you tilt your head in his direction, he just grins, kissing your fingers, your cheeks, your temples.

Business goes on as usual, like this is a normal date or night-in together, hearing about the kids’ silly antics, what his family is up to, what you’ve been working on at the office. You almost forget your suspicions from earlier. There’s certainly been fancier and more expensive surprises, but nights like these always remind you that is definitely your favorite kind.

And when dinner has long been finished, you manage to convince him to slip into the grass with you before cleaning up. The soft blades meet your skin as you cuddle into Seonghwa’s side with a sigh.

It’s funny. On the most beautiful night you think you’ve ever seen, dusk having well made itself known by now, you still can see how Seonghwa looks at you like the most precious thing in the universe, the most sparkling figure in his sky. And in Seonghwa’s eyes, you see the world, and the stars, and all that is beautiful, too. In your hands, you hold his heart. Tonight is just more proof of that.

When you let out a soft exhale, your gaze high in the sky and distracted by the twinkling above, Seonghwa figures this is it. He pulls out the small booklet from the picnic basket, an old album you two had gotten on vacation somewhere a while back.

Turning back to face him, your eyes land on the object in his hands. The picture in the cover is one you vividly remember, and you glance to his eyes, tears beginning to line your eyes.

“I…I’ve been collecting this to give to you,” he murmurs, flipping open the book and turning to the first page.

You let out a small squeak as you gaze at your younger selves. Your first date, the two of you wide eyed and unknowing in your old apartment with Hongjoong, is followed by memories of your first kiss, his first night over, his first birthday with you, moving in. You don’t even remember some of the specific details of these moments. They’re just a random date night at his old place, an obscure night over, the aftermath of a fight, maybe a day when you were meeting him after work, the most ordinary day and occasion shopping at the grocery store. To onlookers, they’re so uneventful, but they’re everything to you both. In such moments, you turn to realize the little flower of love you’ve both been growing has bloomed a little more. It’s not so little anymore. It’s become a whole garden.

Each and every time, without fail, you don’t fail to see the love in your gazes. And if you aren’t in the frame, you don’t fail to see the tender sincerity in the shot, the natural honesty and fond affection in the photographer’s lens. It’s so apparent, so easy. Everything is with Seonghwa, especially loving him. The work it takes to love each other, it’s always going to be worth it.

He wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close despite the jackhammer going off where his heart should be. “I-I don’t really know…know where to begin,” he chuckles before clearing his throat. “I’m just so…in awe of you, how much joy you bring everyone, how much light you bring me.

“My whole heart, my whole being, is in love with you, loves you. They’re yours. Maybe you knew already, but if you didn’t, I want you to know; I’m yours.

“It’s you, and it’ll always be you, the one I love.”

“Seonghwa,” you murmur, a tear threatening to fall as you clutch a little tighter to him before he continues.

“I know I’m a little clumsy, and I can’t promise that I will ever not be, but I promise that I’ll hold and love you as if you’re the most precious thing in the universe, because you are. And, maybe, even with that, despite that, would you marry me? W-would you make me even happier than I am now?”

The droplets pooling in your eyes begin to drop without another word, and Seonghwa’s smile falls just as they do. As he cups your cheeks, thumbing your skin and flicking off the tears, you can’t even find words for him, especially when you glance up from your trembling hands and meet his gaze.

While a flash of hurt flickers behind his starry eyes, there is just so much warmth in them, for you. It’s more than any summer’s day, yet not as overwhelming and painful as an unrelenting sun beam. Nonetheless, it will never end. It’s simply better in every way.

“Did I do something wrong?” he whispers. “Oh, angel, please don’t cry. Tell me what’s—”

“No,” you sob, refusing to let him even entertain such a thought. “God, you did everything right. You’re just so…I love you.”

Tilting your head to face him, he meets your orbs. Even through the glassy, tearful surface covering your eyes, you look to him with such coziness, security. In your eyes, he sees his home, his love, and his future.

A small exhale leaves his lips before they meet yours, slowly pressing soft kisses to calm you down. He doesn’t need to say it for you to know that whether or not you say yes, he will accept your decision and never stop loving you. Between every kiss, he pulls away for a second, and in those moments, you are continuously reminded of how you never want to stop being with him, how you never want to part.

When he slips his head back once more, you move your hands to clasp each other behind his neck, bringing his forehead to yours.

“Of course I’d say yes,” you whisper, so quiet as if it’s a secret for just him to know.

This time, when he meets your plush lips, there’s a smile that curls against you, one that makes a similar one grow on your features.

But while your reply was an answer just for him, he doesn’t want to be the only one to know. So, as difficult as it is for him, he leans back, just for a moment, his eyes on yours with that bright twinkle you adore so much that rivals the sun, the full moon, and all the galaxies.

The fact that there is so much love in him, in his eyes, and it’s all for you, makes you lower your head, a shy grin taking over.

It doesn’t help when he takes your left palm and slides the sparkly ring on your finger before lifting it to his lips. Pulling away, he squeezes your hand and starts brushing his thumb slowly over your skin.

“Y’know,” you murmur, cuddling further into his side on the soft lawn, “I was thinking, for our wedding, maybe…we could have that lemon raspberry cake?”

He chuckles, pressing a kiss to your head. “I was thinking the same thing.”

a/n: hello im (yu)mei :]

i’ve been writing this since the summer but then school happened so i haven’t been on tumblr much since then, but i’m just so down bad for seonghwa so i finished this over my break 😭

my writing schedule is also pretty inconsistent rn bc of uni but i’m planning to add ateez to my list of groups i write for regularly when i have more time/come off my weird lil unofficial + indefinite hiatus :] (although i admittedly am not good at sticking to this LOL i already have some drafts for some of the members + wips 😳)

feel free to come chit chat with me (i-i’m a seonghwa ult n yeosang + joong are like my official bias wreckers but mingi and san also ...) and thank you for reading ❤️ (ps this is all your fault @sansang)

#ateez x reader #ateez imagines #ateez fluff #ateez x you #ateez scenarios #ateez fics #seonghwa fics #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa x you #seonghwa scenarios #mei's #mei.atz #ateez seonghwa

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