#but I’m going after dry needling so I have to WAIT

[theonlythingimfuckingisstupid]

Have to go buy the yarn I donated :/

[navia3000]

i m i s s y o u , i ’ m s o r r y

Includes : Aaron Hotchner

Genre : Angst?

Warnings : Mentions of hospitals, stitches, bombs, injuries, naked people, cursing, not proof read

Based on : I Miss You, I’m Sorry by Gracie Abrams

Part one Part two

Her head was pounding as though she had woken up with a nasty hangover -wait, no, that’s not it. Her head was pounding as if she was hit by a truck, curb stomped, and then beat repeatedly with a bat. Yes, that’s a better description.

Hushed voices come into focus. Her eyes are closed shut. Her throat is parched. Her body hurts all over. Why does her body hurt? Why can’t she remember anything that happened the day before?

She tries to remember. She remembers arguing with Spencer, no, Morgan. She argued with Morgan. She left. She got to the house, then… Nothing. Everything goes black after that.

Her ears try to make out what the voices are saying and who they belong to. Has she been kidnapped by one of the unsubs? No, that’s not possible. She attempts to ground herself. She’s on a bed, she hears beeping, and it is freezing cold. She must be in a hospital.

She pries her eyes open, her vision clearing after a few seconds. Sure enough, she’s in a hospital. She sees Hotch and Emily standing at the door of her bed, speaking in hushed tones with the doctor. She tried to make out the words coming out of Hotch’s mouth, “how… doctor… concussion… bomb…” Bomb.

Upon hearing that word, panic struck her. She began hyperventilating, rushing to pull the needles out of her hand, alerting the doctor and Hotch and Emily of her state of consciousness. They rushed to her, spoke to her, tried to calm her down, but she couldn’t hear them. All she could think of was the bomb she now remembered.

Suddenly, two hands grabbed her face, two brown eyes coming into view. His soft voice calmed her. His gentle touch soothed her shaking body. Her hearing came back, “it’s okay. You’re safe now.” He repeated those words over and over until her breathing regulated.

Exhaustion hit her like a ton of flying bricks, the doctor telling Hotch to give her some space so she could rest. Her eyes closed again.

⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹

The next time she awoke, nobody was in the room with her. It was dark out, and the lights were off, so, she assumed it was well past midnight. Her head hurt less than before, but her body was still sore. She took the time to examine the bruises and stitches and gashes that littered her body under her hospital gown. How she survived, she didn’t know.

A knock at the door startled her. Hotch stood leaning against the doorframe, coffee cup in hand. “Hi,” he gave her a smile. He sat on the chair next to her bed, facing her directly.

Her throat was dry and scratchy, and he seemingly knew this, offering her a glass of cold water. A few minutes went by before she spoke, “what happened?”

She watched as Hotch took a sharp breath. “We got a call that a federal agent had been injured in a bombing. When we got there, the house was practically gone, and you were lying a couple feet away from it. You’re lucky you left the house when you did, but, you still got pretty hurt. You have a concussion, one broken rib, and a bruised lung.” He examined her as she took in all this information.

“How long has it been?”

“What do you mean?”

“How long was I out for?”

“It’s been three days,” his words made the situation start to sink in. Tears sprung to her eyes as she thought about how she almost died. She should’ve been more careful. “God, Y/N, what were you thinking?” It was as if a switch was flipped in him, his usual calm demeanor being replaced by one of sadness and despair. “Why would you go over there by yourself? You should’ve told one of us, or one of your teammates.”

She became angry upon hearing him scold her. “I didn’t have much choice, Hotch. It’s not like I could’ve gone to any of you guys. You hate me, all of you hate me.” He shook his head.

“The team doesn’t hate you.”

“Really? Cause it sure feels like you do. I know I made some mistakes, damn it, but, I’ve tried to apologize, I’ve tried to fix it and you won’t let me!” Her head pounded as she yelled at Hotch, but the emotions took over her.

“They don’t hate you, they are just hurt because of you leaving. They all sat outside in that waiting room while you were in surgery begging God for you to be okay. Morgan and Spencer refused to leave until I ordered them to go get some rest. They have been beating themselves up for everything that’s happened. Morgan blames himself. That’s not hatred, that’s love. And yes, they were wrong for how they treated you, Y/N, but you left a whole in the team after you left that we haven’t been able to fill. They loved you, still love you.” She was speechless. For a while she didn’t know what to say, it was all too much for her.

“What about you?” She whispered, “do you hate me?”

His voice broke as he said, “no. I don’t hate you.”

They spent the rest of the night in silence.

⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹

She was released from the hospital after a week. The team had come by to see her, apologies on hand and relationships mending. Hotch didn’t want her to be alone, insisting on taking her home and making sure she was alright.

So, now she is stuck in her apartment with Hotch. Not awkward at all.

“Alright, make yourself comfortable if you’d like. I’m going to go shower,” she began walking towards her bathroom, limping throughout most of it until Hotch’s words stopped her in her tracks.

“I’ll help you.”

She thought he must be joking. “What?”

“You can barely walk, I don’t see how you’d be able to get into the shower.” So, he’s serious. When they dated, they never got to the point of seeing each other naked, and the image of him helping her take her clothes off made her blush.

“Where are you going?” She asked as he shook off his suit jacket and walked towards her room.

“To draw you a bath.” He came back a few minutes later, and basically manhandled her, lifting her arm onto his shoulders and allowing her to use him as a crutch. They made it to her bathroom, where she was shocked to find the bath running, epsom salt in the water, and a lit candle. She knew he was drawing her a bath, she just didn’t know he would put in the extra effort to make it more comfortable for her.

He slowly turned her around, silently signaling for her to lift up her arms. At her hesitance, he assured her, “I’m not going to look. I just want to help you.” She silently lifted her arms as much as she could without pulling her stitches, and he made work of taking her shirt off. His touch was gentle as he took off her clothes, as though he was afraid of her breaking from the mere pressure of his fingers. He stuck to his promise, his eyes never drifting anywhere she didn’t want them drifting to. She had to admit, she felt something during that moment. She couldn’t put a name onto what she felt, but the concern in his eyes and the strain in his brow did something to her.

Once he was done, he helped her into the bath. She expected him to leave after that, but he leaned against the counter facing the door, letting her take her time.

After a while, she couldn’t help herself but ask, “why are you doing this, Aaron?” She never used his first name, however, it felt right at that moment.

He didn’t answer at first. In fact, she thought he was going to ignore her or pretend he didn’t know what she meant, but, she knows better than that; she knows Hotch better than that.

“I’m doing this because I care about you.” He finally met her eye. “And because I feel guilty.” This confused her.

“Why? Guilty about what?”

“About everything. About how I ended things with you, and how I was the one who drove you to leave the team.” She was about to speak, but he cut her off, “I don’t regret going back to Haley.” His statement made her break eye contact, the mention of how he left her for someone else bringing the hurt back up. “I don’t regret it because I was able to live with Jack, and see him often. I didn’t have to share him. But, I will admit, what me and Haley once had, died. Even when we got back together, it wasn’t the same. We loved each other, but we weren’t in love. She knew it, and she also knew I was in love with someone else.” Oh my God, she thought. She didn’t know what to say, what to feel, what to think, she didn’t know anything. Her heart was racing, her lungs constricting, her throat bobbing, her hands shaking, and it’s all too much, everything is too much, he is too much. “I was in love with you, Y/N. And I need you to know that.”

All her feelings came rushing back, all her emotions breaking out of their cage and rushing to take over. All she could say was, “You were in love with me?” Her eyes pleaded with him.

“I still am.” And it was as though a bomb went off all over again.

[afreakingdork]

Weak Spot - Chapter 69

RotTMNT Donatello x Reader

Donnie is anxiously waiting for this week's penultimate chapter with art by @aimike17

Warnings: Aged-up Turtles, Romance, Meet Cute, Villain Donatello, Cussing, Crushes, Xenophobia, Fear, Intimidation, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Love, AFAB Reader, Vaginal Sex, Sex Rough, Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Creampie, Teasing, Scent Kink, Sexual Tension, Breeding Kink, Multiple Orgasms, Cunnilingus, Fellatio, Marathon Sex, Somnophilia, Bondage, Feral Behavior, Feral Donatello, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Public Sex, Dom Donnie, Human/Turtle Relationships, Turtle Noises, Roleplay, Sexual Roleplay

Synopsis:  A love story of villainous proportions! Though it hadn’t come easily, as these things rarely do, you found yourself in a whirlwind romance with a handsome and mysterious mutant. His idiosyncrasies had been easy to ignore as attraction grew into something more. However, will love endure when the unknowns about him end up being far darker than you ever considered?

Also available on Ao3

First 💜 Previous

“The make-up artist canceled!”

You sighed heavily as you tucked against the wall you’d ducked behind.

“Last minute! Absolutely absurd, this is exactly why I put a no-show clause in their contract. We’ll wring them dry! They’ll never decorate another face again as long as I-!! This puts only the photographer and officiant on time, but without the proper preparation then what is the point?! I dislike excessive editing. I want our photographs to be authentic! If only I could-!” Donnie thumped something loudly and you heard other voices trying to talk him down.

You pinched your phone between your shoulder and cheek so you could check your ring.

“Don’t touch me! Of course I’m not dressed yet! Do you see how filthy this place is! You! That garland is sagging! You petulant pond scum! If you think for a moment I will allow you too-!”

It felt like needles were pricking your skin.

It was stress.

It was frustration.

It was anger.

It was all Donnie.

Your mate was breaking down as the wedding planner and you were stuck in some backroom at the venue.

You rubbed your ring and wished the feeling would connect to your partner.

It wouldn’t yet.

You needed to put his band on him first.

“Where did you store these flowers!? You need to get them into water, now!” His voice rushed the receiver. “Darling, I apologize, I-! LUKEWARM WATER, YOU IMBECILE!!!”

You could be out there helping.

You could offset the pressure.

Together you could bear the load.

Only your fiancé had mistakenly gone off the deep end after his visit to Lady Nagami for his final suit fitting. She had asked where he was going to stay the night before. From that moment on you believed Donnie had subscribed to just about every wedding superstition that existed. Not that he believed a single one of them, he refused to let even a hoax interrupt your wedding day.

Your wedding party didn’t particularly mind the sudden booking of a luxe hotel, but being apart from Donnie in this instance was a terrible one. The closer it had gotten to the date, the less your mate left up to chance. Besides being the titular planner, he had removed others from their roles because he no longer trusted the work unless he saw it with his own eyes. It meant he was scarce not only that night before, but the five leading up.

Now a wreck and several hours out from the ceremony, you weren’t sure he was going to be in any state of mind to enjoy the wedding he so painstakingly coordinated.

You wanted to be with him so badly it hurt.

Spinning your ring loosely, you knew he could feel it if he just had his matching set.

You should have been the one to propose, you thought then.

“My heart?”

You breathed in deeply. “You know what I have to say.”

“Know that if it were at all possible to see you, I would cart you from room to room on my shoulders.”

You smiled at the imagery.

“I can’t chance it.” Donnie spoke softly. “I will see you as you walk down the aisle and not a moment sooner.”

“I know.” You held not only your ring finger, but your entire hand.

For the first moment on the call, Donnie quieted.

You heard the rumble of others.

Workers decorated.

Kaleb murmured in hushed tones.

Old lady Nagami must have responded because there was a sliding ‘s.’ 

Raph’s bassy tones argued with someone.

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. prattled off what sounded like an endless stream of numbers.

You looked around the room that smelled of oak and felt locked away. It was a glorified closet, yet there was nowhere to hook anything. For whatever reason, it had two door which you supposed were for amassing entrances and exits to get away. This was nothing more than a connecting nook and you’d squirreled away in here after texts no longer seemed to cut it.

“I love you.” Donnie spoke clearly through the phone.

“I love you.” That helped; he always helped. “Hang in there. I need you present when I get in front of you.”

“Oh.” The sound was rounded with a static puff against the line. “All else will fall away. All we will need is to follow the necessary cues.”

“Then don’t pop a blood vessel until then.”

You heard a rustle and just knew he was checking his tech gauntlet.

The silence spoke volumes. “What is it?”

“My blood pressure is a tad high…” There was a grimace to his voice.

“Have you eaten? Did you drink water?”

“He hasn’t!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. bellowed.

“Mhm.”

“Get off the line! What have I told you!?” Donnie hissed.

“’Weh weh, don’t tap my phone, son. I love you, sport. Let’s go play catch after this!’” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. mocked.

“I-!!!” Indignity took Donnie’s very speech away.

“Caterer’s here!” Kaleb called and you heard sharp shoes click against hardwood.

“I… need to oversee this.” Donnie returned, regretful.

“At least they’re on time too.” You told him. “Get one of them to make you something plain. For me?”

“Alright.” He relented. “Soon. So very soon.”

“Soon.” You agreed and lingered until he hung up the line.

“Big green baby.” Coral’s voice drifted in behind you.

You didn’t have to turn to know she was reclined in one of the doorways. “I’m assuming your hair didn’t cooperate?”

“Shut up!” She spat, clearly scathed. “I’m last up! Don’t rub it in! I look bomb otherwise!”

You turned to give her attention and she struck a pose in a lilac dress.

It matched the color scheme and you approached.

She held out for a second before she came in as if there was a secret to share. “How’s he doing?”

“Not great. He’s worried.” You showed her the ring. “Nauseous, dehydrated, and tinges of vertigo.”

“You can tell all that from that thing?”

“Yup.” You closed your hand. “The make-up artist canceled.”

“Shit.” She clicked her tongue. “We could get by with what we got, but…”

“Yeah, Don does the best make-up I’ve seen but…”

“Still can’t believe he’s being all superstitious.”

You raised your brow in commiseration.

“Okay.” She clapped her hands. “Contacts. Let’s gather up all the phones and exploit people we know! Someone will know someone who can get their ass in here!”

Your ex-roommate turned with a pumping fist and you followed after her to what you dubbed the parlor. Another equally darkly stained wood room, there were a litany of leather chairs. The entire room almost seemed like something out of a Chesterfield catalog. Off to one side, Nelson and another of your bridal party members were trying to get a foosball table to work. In a corner near a window, Eugene and one of your cousins were doing their best to break into a liquor cabinet. You knew this was a space supposedly built for men to busy themselves while the bride prepared, but it had been passed to you for entertainment purposes. It was the safest hideaway while Donnie needed to rove the venue. It ensured he wouldn’t run into you.

You sat on an uncomfortable sofa and watched as Coral rounded up the room.

She had this, you decided.

You’d done most everything you needed. 

You were dressed up. 

You were otherwise primped minus make-up. 

You were free to sulk.

There was a sharp stab in your finger and you winced.

Before you could even wonder what was wrong, your phone was out and you were typing out a message to ask.

Donnie’s text of having dropped a chafing dish on his foot appeared before you finished.

You typed out affections and for him to get it checked.

You could have done that for him. 

You should be with him.

“Where are the parents?!” Coral seethed in a voice that broke the monotony.

You looked up to find everyone now gathered and furiously at work on their phones. “I heard your mom say something about the gardens.”

“That bitch.” Coral gave a crazed look and turned it on Nelson.

He had long grown from the nervous man you once knew because he didn’t break a sweat as he typed into his phone. “That bitch is more connected than any of us. She’s bound to know someone. You go. I got things here.”

Coral stamped her foot, clear emotion throttling her before she hugged him tight.

It took all of Nelson’s self control not to drop his device as his eyes shot wide.

Coral released and fled in a way that didn’t allow anyone to see her face.

Nelson stood a lolling figure as if Coral had wrung him out.

That was new.

You smiled and knew exactly how you were going to interrupt her speech during the dinner.

Nelson rebooted and whipped himself into shape. “Alright! We’re looking for a beautician! What have we got, people!?”

You should help.

You should stay here.

You should continue to sit on this terribly hard sofa.

You stood.

You meant to go over to them.

The room had gathered.

Without you. 

Getting that make-up artist would help Donnie.

You wanted to help Donnie.

No.

You wanted to be with Donnie.

You craved his side.

You didn’t care about the missing professional.

You barely cared about the photos.

It seemed like a waste without him.

You flittered toward a door without realizing it.

“Hey…” Nelson warned.

Coral had been minding you since yesterday night.

She’d gone above and beyond in her honorific role.

She’d gotten your favorite dinner.

She had games ready for the nervous and lonesome night before.

She’d forced everyone to bed at an appropriate time.

She woke everyone up the next day.

She’d fielded an incredible breakfast spread before you piled into a van for the venue.

Everything.

You also hadn’t been alone once. 

You hadn’t gotten a moment’s peace.

It helped in a way.

Of course she knew you wouldn't want to be alone. 

She knew you’d break the superstitions in a moment’s notice. 

In this way, she helped Donnie. 

You loved Donnie. 

You also very much needed a hit. 

The texting wasn’t enough. 

The call wasn’t enough. 

You blamed the ring. 

He was upset and you weren’t with him. 

You needed to see him. 

That would do the trick. 

If you could catch a glimpse of him, it might help.

Who was the addict between you?

“Bathroom.” You decided without really knowing where you’d land.

“I’ll go with you.” Nelson tried to rush whatever he was typing.

“Yeah, not happening.” You tilted your head and challenged him with your gaze.

He lived with Coral.

He sent a similar look right back.

The stand-off pulled your cousin in and they looked back and forth between you.

“I can go to the bathroom by myself!” You threw your hands up. “Two doors and on the left. If I’m gone for more than 5 minutes you have permission to restrain me!” 

Nelson studied you with narrowed lids before he found truth there and nodded once. “Fine. Anything else and it’s not my neck.”

“Yeah…” You turned and yanked the door too hard to get away.

Two doors.

One took you through that weird nook you’d taken your call in.

You went right.

Down a short hall that led to where you’d once seen a bunch of men congregating.

More family.

Family was crawling out of the walls.

You heard a voice and ducked toward the closest knob.

It surprisingly turned even though you weren’t sure this room was being used.

The voice’s drew closer and you closed yourself inside.

Your hand loosened as you took in the space.

It had a dreamy lilac tint to it and fine dust particles filtered through light pouring through the window panes. For a room that appeared neglected, there was also a sense of purpose. Fine wood furniture came in a matching set and was arranged like a set piece. You walked into it and felt like cameras could line the wall you had come in from to shoot this period piece. It would run on black and white televisions across America and you trailed a doily sitting on an end table. It was marked with a piece of aged porcelain that had finely painted details. You followed its pointed handle toward a mantle and looked over the scant knick-knacks there.

This was a room for photographs.

You knew your venue served all sorts of clientele. It had been part of the spiel during the initial interview. It was a conversation that had turned into a battle of wills between the employee and Donnie, but it had worked out. Their garden space was a stunning one and it was the rare moment during the many appointments where Donnie had taken a moment that wasn’t calculated. You could both foresee yourselves exchanging vows here and that was all that mattered.

You took one last stale breath.

You shouldn’t have felt settled.

You looked down at your hand.

Donnie was momentarily pacified.

Something was going right.

Each minute took you closer to one another.

A silly agreement in the scheme of things, it was yet another page in your life together.

You’d be alright not seeing your mate for now. 

Today was good.

You felt buoyed and headed towards the door.

You’d make a pit stop in the hair dresser’s room and see how things were going.

You could see what make-up was in the vanity you had seen there.

You rounded a chair to leave when a disc of blue light appeared in front of the door.

Leo clad in a suit with an untied tie hanging around his neck then stepped through talking backwards through it. “No, there’s protocol! They’re separate, but they aren’t! Just like how hair is attached to your head! You know? Where the face is!? You need to talk to the hair person, you can’t just drop a make-up artist on them and expect-!”

He tried to stall, but both his legs hit the ground due to momentum.

He looked up at the ceiling and toward a corner of the room you weren’t in. “The hell? This isn’t the prep room! This place is a maze, I swear-!”

He rounded your direction and you only watched as he caught sight of you. 

The portal behind him disappeared. 

You knew the look on his face and gave a smug smile. 

You’d seen yourself in a mirror not too long ago. 

You knew you looked good.

Dressed in expertly tailored finery, you were a vision.

You supposed make-up was the finishing touch that would enhance the image, but still.

You’d gone through the whole process of getting ready otherwise.

You’d be standing beside Donatello after all.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” Leo tipped his head with an appreciative eye. “If you took my breath away, think of what you’re going to do to that jackass.”

“There’s a bet on whether he’ll cry or not.”

“Oh, don’t you know? I’m running it.” He had a scoundrel’s smile as he walked over. “You pulling a Julie Roberts?”

He made it obvious he was checking your footwear and you tutted him. “You watch too many movies.”

Leo mimed jogging. “Then you’ll know how prepared I am for this wedding!”

“What’d you watch?”

Leo made an excited trill and held up his fingers to count. “Four Weddings and a Funeral, My Best Friend's Wedding, The Wedding Singer, The Wedding Planner, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and Mamma Mia! Duh!"

“Missing a few key ones.”

Leo scoffed so loud you could see the spittle in the air.

“Found a make-up artist?” You folded your arms. 

“Yeah, me.” Leo waved his hands dismissively.

“No.”

“Yes.” Leo chirped like a know-it-all.

“You cannot do make-up.”

“I absolutely can.” In a swing of his arm, his phone appeared along with photos already up of drag performers. “Long story, but I helped out with some shows because I needed a hospital hook-up.”

“Show me yours.” You demanded and stalked towards him.

He pulled his device back only for a second before it was in your hands. 

There you saw an image of Leo in a blond wig smizing his way out from the other queens he was framed with.

You couldn’t even laugh.

You smiled and blew out a harsh breath.

He was an oddity.

He was a pain.

He was a handful.

“You’re really our only choice?” 

“With two hours, 27 minutes and 16 seconds, scratch that 15, or did I say 14? And, what was that? Like 15 people who need their faces painted? Uh yeah, I’m the best you got.” Leo pinched his device back up.

“Drag make-up is-!”

“Hup, hup, hup!” Leo held a quieting hand out. “I’m not trained. I’m not gonna pretend, but I have the steady hand of a surgeon and I know how to do an elegant, but understated look. I swear. You think the rancid raisin would let me do this otherwise? I did Mikey’s make-up in demonstration!”

You frowned deeply before you tore out your phone to text Mikey.

Within seconds you got a selfie of him clearly chewing something where his lackadaisical expression was contrasted by the soft glow of his skin and lovely accentuated eyes.

“Okay… he does look good.”

“Right? It’s not fair with that damn hair of his!” Leo was behind you and admiring the photo.

You flapped him away and he scurried out of your arm’s length. “Why do you need to talk to the hairdresser?”

“There’s code!” Leo scoffed and turned towards the door. “C’mon! Show me where it is! Clearly my portal map was not accurate!”

“Hmph!” You followed after him.

He caught the knob, but didn’t turn it. “You look amazing, by the way. You’ll hear that all day, but from me it’ll mean something.”

You slowed and studied how he wouldn’t look at you.

“If you weren’t doing the whole, on the aisle thing, I’d say you should have let him see you in here. I thought I’d fallen out of space time.”

“Leo…” He was so earnest his cheeks burned.

He chuffed faintly. “From soaking you in hand sanitizer to this.”

The dousing steam brought with it irritation.

He ruined everything good.

You would never trust this annoying man.

“Life’s a funny thing, ain’t it Y/N?” There was something carefree about the way he turned.

His smile honestly wrinkled his crow’s feet.

There was no deeper scheme.

This was just Leonardo Hamato.

At a wedding.

Your wedding.

“Thank you.” You told him with the same unrestrained tone.

“Yeah, well, same. I’m doing this and you pay me back by holding up your end of the deal. I want to ride out my pseudo-retirement on purse snatchers and the occasional bank robbery, nothing else, got it?”

You pushed him and he chuckled as he finally opened the door.

Everything flew by after that. From you getting your make-up done to Coral screeching as her unruly locks were eventually set, a photographer came through and began to document last looks. You were shot with family members and the party members now in a strict alternation in the garden. You hadn’t quite gotten to view the ceremony area in full yet, but glimpses of it through bushes made it look lush.

Finally, you were in place outside giant doors and a venue attendant came through to remind you all of the procedure. Music started up and the procession began. You watched person after person trickle out and away from you until you and another were left behind. You weren’t to be escorted out and given away, but instead you would be led to your destiny.

For maybe about the thousandth time, but who was counting?

Your feet edged pooling light and your arm was taken.

You stepped into the door frame and on cue there was a gentle gust of air.

It flittered a few loose flower petals from their toss earlier in a guiding line.

They settled in front of highly polished oxfords and you moved up tapered white pants.

Pressed with creases so sharp they could cut glass, they led into a similarly stark white tuxedo colored only with lilac accents.

You knew that Donnie had chosen to wear white, but seeing him in it now made the vision of him a warbled one.

You were getting closer to him and when your eyes met his, you felt the crowd fall away.

There was only the leading carpet and you walked it to him.

You were left and made the last step of your own to where neither of you had broken eye contact.

Someone was talking, you guessed, but you were mesmerized by watery eyes and a fateful smile.

Your finger throbbed with yearning and you reached out to adjust Donnie’s lapels as coyly as you could.

His arms ghosted up to support yours as if your breaching the space between your bodies broke the spell on him.

He coasted up and down your arms with eager digits that needed more.

Words spilled a backdrop, but there were only the two of you as he stepped in closer and tucked his beak into the crown of your head.

“I didn’t think it was possible.”

You tilted your head to peer at him against the proximity.

“I had every adjective to describe you, but I can’t remember a single one.”

A grin split your face and loosed a few of his tears.

He didn’t bother wiping them and you felt someone that was very much not your partner touch your arm.

The officiant looked scolding and mentioned the vows.

You blinked wide.

Your wedding was happening all around you.

You went to look at the crowd, but as soon as you caught Donnie’s eyes, you were alone once again.

He oozed palpable affection and opened his mouth for a speech.

You waited.

Nothing came out.

His mouth closed silently and his eyes opened sorely haunted.

He then checked with you before he searched his person.

“Left breast.” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. leaned in from behind Donnie.

Your son was smartly dressed in a suit of his own and you wanted to appreciate it.

Donnie slipped his hand into his tux and pulled out some cards.

His hands shook.

Without thinking, you cupped to support them.

The moment the words steadied, he looked at you.

You smiled and squeezed his palms.

“A vow.” Donnie didn’t project in the slightest. “Noun. A solemn promise.”

He wasn’t looking at the cards.

“We’ll do the pre-written drivel last, but we decided to start with our own.”

You nodded.

The notes fell from his hands in favor of taking yours. “What can I pledge to you that you do not already have?”

“I don’t know.” You responded cheeky and the crowd giggled.

“You have it all.” Your hands weren’t enough and he caught your waist to pull you flush to him.

He took great care in placing one of your hands over his heart and held it there.

“I forgo this process. I have nothing more to give you. You own it all and this is merely a formality so I may say I am yours in yet another means. I would go through this hellish process a million times if only to sign the paper again and again. I would stand in line at the county clerk’s office as my purgatory if only to renounce my single being to a duo again and again. I have no speech. None of the hours I spent in writing it matter. Nothing I say will be comparable to all we’ve gone through or even the most inconsequential thing you’ve said to me. Instead, I wish only to declare my intent.”

He gave you one last squeeze before he looked out at the crowd.

“You wretches!” His fangs glistened as he grinned with every fiber of his being. “However you are known to me by association or cruel fate, I pledge thus…”

He left you completely and stared out as if someone would defy him.

You were sure there were reactions, but you couldn’t look away from your mate.

He was yours.

“Let it be known, from the moment I hatched to my dying breath-” Donatello turned toward you. “I was destined, am, and will forever be yours. In all forms and states of mind. In yours as well.”

You held your hand out to coax him back.

He took it, suave, and brought it to his lips, but did not kiss. “I love you.”

You signed it back and he scolded you by slipping back into his spot with a gentle nudge to your hip with his.

Anticlimactic, he addressed the officiant who didn’t seem to realize that was the end.   

You knew.

They were words that in no other realm would he ever state so publically.

To anyone, no matter how close.

Only now.

Only for you.

You responded.

You said your vows and heard none of them.

You’d practiced them so many times you would be able to repeat them in the next lifetime.

They felt meaningless.

You weren’t even sure Donnie was hearing them.

He was only watching you.

For all intents and purposes, this event was already over.

Then came the classic lines. 

To have and to hold from this day forward

You scarcely heard the officiant struggle.

For better, for worse

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. produced a ring.

For richer, for poorer. 

Words.

In sickness and in health. 

You didn’t need them.

To love and to cherish. 

Action.

Until death do us part.

It was useless.

Donnie only mimed putting your ring on.

You had been wearing it and it was never coming off.

His ring, however.

Three nights ago you had imbued it with a drop of your blood.

Its mere existence had put Donnie on edge.

He wanted to wear it.

If anyone else chanced putting it on, you were up for grabs.

It had taken literally opening S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. up and placing it securely within his circuitry before Donnie would calm.

Now you took his hand and felt how assuredly steady it was.

He brought his digit up incrementally so you could slip the band on.

The moment it hit his knuckle, he twitched and stalled. 

He felt you.

Felt how you had already written off the ceremony.

Felt how you were hungry.

Felt how you had the faintest nerves about the photos you’d been taking while the spaces were switched out for dinner.

All wholly new data that had never once been truly accessible to him, he might have given over to it had you not one more thing to do.

The officiant spoke those final words.

You moved into a kiss.

It was a cover.

As your lips met, the importance was your wedding bands.

Between your bodies and with cheers all around, your left hands met.

In a twist and lock, the two bands interacted.

You had seen mysticism.

Mikey’s chains.

Leo’s portals.

Donnie’s construction.

Raph’s form.

But you had never truly felt it until that moment.

It rushed through you on a cellular level and felt like an untamed thing.

It probed your worth.

It tested your bond.

It saw truths you held dear and ones you hadn’t committed to yet.

It then convened with ancient unknowable counsels.

It deemed you worthy and withdrew into your mystical item.

You were with Donnie.

Donnie was with you.

You parted from the kiss and it hadn’t been more than a few seconds.

You felt lifetimes intertwined as his forehead rested against yours.

His entire knowledge base wasn’t exactly yours, but you could sense it.

He could finally rest.

He had someone else to bear the load.

He would never be truly alone again.

You were rushed.

You had no idea who started it, but someone ran up to the stage and the other’s followed. 

Friends and family, if whatever had occurred between the two of you was too much, it had somehow translated outward.

Decorum was lost and you were swarmed.

Lifted and cheered, you were surrounded by love.

In a physical sense it separated you both, but you were not parted.

You looked over the jostling bodies and found Donnie’s eye.

He met yours with a wrinkled one of his own.

Your Donatello.

💜NEXT💜

My betas joined me with Weak Spot and they will carry on with the next work! @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83

[superlarva]

Much needed cuddles!

Raising Dominoes has reached double digits!!! I've never been this committed to a project before and I can't wait to share more!

Here's Chapter 10 - Reunited.

Prologue: 00 Previous chapter: 09 Next chapter: 11

Summary: Rex and Fives visit Echo at the hospital.

CW: Implied/referenced child abuse, food insecurities, hospitals, missing limbs

Chapter 10 – Reunited

Fives bolted into Echo’s room before Rex could even think about stopping him. One second the boy had been holding his hand, the next the door was beginning to swing shut after him.

In the split second that Rex had been able to see into the room, he caught sight of a familiar figure in a long white coat standing next to a bed occupied by a small boy. The shades were not drawn this time, and there were less machines beeping away. From the fleeting image it looked like Echo was doing better.

Rex followed Fives into the room and his breath caught in his throat at the sight of the kid climbing up onto his twin’s bed. Worried that Fives was going to accidentally hurt his brother, he quickly covered the distance between them and reached for Fives, ready with a lecture about proper behavior in a hospital, but faltered when he heard a deep chuckle.

“It’s alright, Rex,” Kix said, smiling as he finished hanging a bag on an IV pole.

Rex frowned, worry etching creases in his brow.

“He’s being careful. He won’t hurt him,” Kix reassured. He walked around the bed to Rex’s side and lowered his voice so the boys would not be able to hear, “Trust me, they need this. That was the first time I’ve seen anyone get near the kid without him flinching.”

Rex nodded, but his frown deepened. Echo weakly shifted over in the bed to give Fives more room.

“See if you can get him to eat anything,” Kix whispered before turning on his heel and starting for the door. When he reached the door, he looked over his shoulder at the twins and waved, “Okay, Echo, I’m going to go now. I’ll be back in a few minutes to check on you, alright, trooper?”

Echo made no response, but Kix did not seem to expect one since the door was already clicking shut behind him.

Rex should not have felt uneasy being left alone in a room with his twin boys. It was ridiculous, really, but the way Echo stared put him on edge. The boy’s eyes never left him, not even as Fives snuggled up next to him, close but not touching. Not even when Fives called his twin’s name.

Echo’s eyes were cold and evaluating. Sizing him up as if he were a threat. Rex supposed that was probably what he thought he was: someone else that would hit or yell, someone else that would poke and prod with needles.

Rex really only had one move. He backed away from the edge of the bed slowly and sat in the chair pulled up beside it. Echo’s eyes followed him.

It was Fives who broke the silence, “Are you better now?”

Echo blinked, his eyes slowly pulling away from Rex’s to settle on his brother, “…yes.”

His voice was so small and though he wanted to sound brave for Fives, it was more than clear he was lying. His face was pale and gaunt, his voice hoarse and dry, and he was still surrounded by bags of meds and beeping machines.

“So, we can take him home now?” Fives asked hopefully, lifting his head from the pillow to address Rex.

Rex shook his head, “We have to wait for Kix to discharge him.”

Fives let out an exasperated sigh and let his head drop back into the pillow dramatically. After a minute of silence, he turned to Echo, his voice soft, “I missed you.”

The corners of Echo’s thin lips quirked up into the image of a smile, but an image was all it was. There was no sincerity to the motion and the smile dissipated quickly, face contorting in pain, or grief, or sadness.

The boy’s mind was elsewhere, his sad eyes darting around the room before drifting back over to study Rex. Rex smiled, though he was afraid his was as empty and meaningless as Echo’s had been, “Uh, Echo, it’s nice to meet you. I’m… I’m Rex.”

Rex cringed at his awkwardness, but he forced himself to gauge the boy’s reaction. There was none. Echo remained still, eyes locked onto his.

Rex broke eye contact, dropping his gaze to the gift bag still clutched in his hand, “Oh, um, Fives, do you want to give your brother his present?”

“Oh, yeah!” Fives jumped off the bed and retrieved the bag, crinkling it around loudly as he climbed back up, kneeling at Echo’s side. He held out the present in front of his brother, “I saw this at the… the gift shop and- and Rex said I could get it for you!”

Echo reached out slowly and took the bag, letting it rest on his chest as he used his remaining arm to attempt to fish out the gift.

Fives watched his twin struggle for a moment before his excitement won out, “It’s a book!”

Echo finally pulled out the book and turned it over, looking at the cover.

“It’s a- a guide book. For Kamino- no, um- Coruscant. That’s where we are!” Fives exclaimed, excitement and his difficulty remembering what Rex had said about the book causing his words to come out breathless.

In Rex’s eyes the book was worthless—a cheap tourists’ guide to Coruscant—but it had been the only book in the gift shop, and Fives had insisted Echo would like it. Who was Rex to dispute his claim?

Echo turned the book over one more time to look at the back and set it down at his side. “Thanks,” he said quietly, looking at Fives before turning his attention to Rex, voice now so soft Rex had to strain to hear it, “Thank you, sir.”

Rex smiled, and this time he was sure it looked genuine, “You’re welcome.”

“Do you like it?” Fives asked, beaming at his brother and bouncing a little on the bed.

Echo nodded, his eyes flicking over to Rex and shoulders tensing.

He was lying.

He was lying and he thought Rex was going to what? Punish him for it? Call him out on it? Make both of them upset?

“Wow,” Fives breathed, flopping back down onto the bed, seemingly oblivious, “I’m so happy to see you.”

“I’m so happy to see you,” Echo repeated, tearing his eyes away from Rex to face his brother.

“Does- Does it hurt?” Fives asked, looking at the places on the sheets where the lumps ended.

“Not really, I’m just tired.”

“Can I see?”

Echo shifted to sit up a bit higher on the pillows and pulled the blankets down. The stumps where his limbs used to be were wrapped up in bandages. His right arm had been cut just above the elbow, his right leg above the knee, and his left leg below the knee. It was a miracle the paramedics had been able to arrive in time to stabilize him before he bled out.

“Not much to see,” Echo rasped, letting out a strangled laugh that quickly morphed into a coughing fit.

Rex rose from his chair instinctively, “We should get you some water.”

Echo flinched back at the sudden movement, screwing his eyes shut, coughing subsiding for a moment to allow a small whimper to escape his throat.

“Okay, okay, I’m sitting down,” Rex slowly lowered himself back into the chair.

Fives hovered over Echo, hands twitching like he wanted to touch him, but he was not sure he should. Instead of offering any sort of physical comfort, Fives opted for verbal, “It’s okay, Rex is nice. He’s nice.”

“He’s nice?” Echo managed weakly, eyes opening a crack.

“Mm-hmm! Nice,” Fives answered cheerily.

Echo began coughing again and it took all of Rex’s strength not to get up from the chair for a second time. There was a glass of water on a tray full of food next to the bed and Rex pointed to it, “Fives, can you get that water for Echo?”

Fives turned and grabbed the cup, pressing it into his twin’s hand. Echo took it and brought it to his mouth, arm trembling under the small amount of weight. Much of the water spilled down the front of the boy’s papery hospital gown and onto the sheets, but Rex was relieved to see him take a few gulps.

Echo passed the glass back to Fives and relaxed back into the pillows, giving out one final cough.

“That feels better, huh?” Rex asked, relaxing back into the chair himself.

Echo blinked, “…feels better?”

“Yeah, doesn’t it?”

The boy slowly nodded, “Yes, sir.”

“You know what else would help you feel better?”

Echo swallowed, his eyes darting over to where Fives sat next to him before returning to stare blankly at Rex, “No, sir.”

“Some food in your tummy,” Rex nodded to the tray of food by Fives.

Fives pushed the tray over to Echo, who shook his head, “I’m alright, sir.”

“Aren’t you hungry?” Rex questioned, concern written across his face.

“A bit,” Echo confessed after a moment. The boy dropped his eyes to the bowl of stew and looked at it like it was a cup full of bugs.

“Are you allergic?”

Echo shook his head, still watching his meal with disgust.

“You just don’t like it then?”

The boy shrugged.

“Okay…” Rex mumbled, wracking his brain for a nicer what to ask what the problem with the food was.

It turned out he did not need to.

“So then why won’t you eat it?” Fives asked.

“I…” Echo started, his voice barely audible, “I don’t deserve it.”

Everything stopped for a moment: the beeping of the machines, the little particles dancing in the waning light, even the beating of Rex’s heart. The kid thought he did not deserve hospital food. Hospital food. It brought Rex back to the first night he brought home Fives, when the boy had cried because he was “being too nice” to him.

Vaguely Rex wondered if Echo thought he did not deserve the meal because it was nicer than whatever type of sustenance he was used to, or because he was accustomed to having to work for his food. Neither option made Rex very happy.

In fact, he was angry.

No, angry was not quite right.

He was livid.

Rex gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before his heart exploded with rage. When he opened his eyes he was met with twin sets of chocolate colored irises staring back at him.

His heart melted, “You deserve it, Echo.”

The boy kept his face unnaturally still and Rex wished he could read what was going on under that carefully maintained mask.

“You deserve it,” Rex repeated, louder this time. He looked down at the floor, hoping to hide the sadness in his eyes, “Everyone deserves to be able to eat when they’re hungry.”

The room was silent again. Rex did not dare look up from his shoes. He did not know if he could bear looking into their innocent faces after everything they had been through because of him. Because he had done everything he could to not look back.

If only he had, then he would have found them earlier, before-

“I can eat it,” Echo’s quiet voice cut through Rex’s thoughts.

He snapped his head up to see both boys looking at the tray of food with downcast expressions.

“I’m sorry, sir” Echo muttered, his shoulders tensing, “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“What? No, no, I’m not upset,” Rex said, waving his hands around as if that would prove his sincerity. The last thing he wanted was for his boys to be tiptoeing around him and worrying about upsetting him.

The twins looked up at him skeptically.

“Not upset,” Rex reassured, giving them a small smile, “Not upset, just- Hey! I’ve got an idea.”

Echo’s head tilted to the side, one eyebrow cocking up in interest.

Rex turned to Fives, “Hey, bud, are you hungry?”

“Uh-huh?” Fives’ brows crinkled together.

“Why don’t we go down to the cafeteria real quick and get some dinner to bring back here? Then we can all eat together.”

“Okay,” Fives agreed easily, sliding off the bed. Once his feet hit the ground he turned back to his twin, “Okay?”

Echo nodded, “Okay.”

The rest of the evening was spent answering Fives’s one hundred and one questions about the hospital and watching Echo slowly pick at his food long after both Rex and Fives had finished. When he finally pushed it away, he had only gotten through around half, but when Kix came in to say goodbye at the end of his shift, he seemed ecstatic that any of it was gone at all, so Rex counted that as a win.

At around 8 pm both boys were exhausted. Rex was about to suggest that he take Fives home for the night when the boy passed the Coruscant guidebook to his twin, “Can you read to me?”

Echo smiled softly and took the book, sandwiching it between his chest and his hand so he would be able to keep it steady as he read.

There was no way Rex was interrupting this. He leaned back in his chair and listened to Echo rattle off facts about the Bureau of Ships and Services Heritage Museum.

After a few minutes Fives shifted in the bed next to his brother. “Cuddle?” He asked, looking at Echo hopefully.

Echo put down the book for a moment to pat his shoulder, “Here.”

Fives smiled sleepily and inched closer to his twin to rest his head on his shoulder.

Echo resumed reading and in no time at all Fives was asleep. Rex watched as Echo carefully set the book down so as not to disturb his brother. He then pulled the covers up around Fives’s shoulders. As he did, he noticed Rex looking at them and frowned in a silent question.

“You take such good care of your brother,” Rex said softly.

Echo looked down at Fives, a real, true smile spreading across his face, “I love him. I’d do anything for him.”

@marierg @stressed-cherry @ffdemon @renton6echo @bambambunny @tearfulsolace @rndmpeep @brokenphoenix99 @nerdy-valkyrie @xylionet @tazmbc1 @eyayah123 @the-bad-batch-baroness @sarcastic-nebula @ihaventpickedausername @sexysmeagolshitposting @emma-1409 @marcadamia

[vminizzle]

SERIES || Hope - jjk

Part 6 : unusual night

pairing : husband!jungkook x f.reader

genre : angst, ?smut?, fluff,

warnings : mention of blood, mention of needle, mention of cramps, teasing, making out, marking, pet names, dry humping, nipple play.

words count : 2.5k

A/N : hello guys *saying breathlessly because it’s very hot here I’m suffocating*. I hope y’all spending a nice day! I was supposed to post this way earlier so sorry I’m late. It’s shorter than the last chapter sorry. I hope you’ll find this chapter not too boring! REMINDER : POOR ENGLISH. Take care everyone 🧡 - sunny

FEEDBACKS ARE WELCOMED ☄️

SERIES MASTERLIST

M RATED

"gosh!" you muttered, stomping into the kitchen making Jungkook looked at you curiously.

"morning." you pecked his forehead quickly making your husband smile.

"g’morning darling. I made pancakes." he pointed to the plate placed at the other side of the kitchen counter.

"ah thanks love." you said walking to the fridge.

Jungkook stood up from his chair, coming to you.

"still your period cramps?" he asked resting his hands on your tummy as he laid a soft kiss on the back of your neck.

"yes but I’m not on my period." you sighed heavily, tuning around to face your confused husband.

"well, I just have cramps, nothing else." you tried to explain.

"wait. If I understood, it means that’s not bloody down there?" he tilted his head to the side cutely making you chuckle.

"correct!"

"ahhhh." he nodded with a little pout.

"But weren’t you supposed to be on your period since last week?" he questioned.

"That’s right but guess it’s late again. Since my miscarriage, my period weird." you complained, closing your eyes as you let your head fall on his chest tiredly.

"'m tired."

Jungkook pulled you closer to him, hand caressing your back up and down gently.

"why don’t your rest today?"

"Kook, I have to work." you reminded him.

"Well, you could had rested if you worked at the company with me." he huffed making you sigh.

"Oh, I’ve noticed you’ve been tired easily these times." he pointed out, taking your hand in his, guiding you to the table.

He sat back on his chair, pulling you down to sit on his lap, your back resting on his chest.

"I know."

"why don’t you go to the doctor?" he suggested getting no reply from you.

"Maybe, low iron?" he thought for a moment.

"You should take a blood sample." he continued making you open your eyes.

"I don’t-"

"I know, you don’t like it but you will have to." he caressed the back of your hand with his thumb softly.

He grabbed his fork, feeding you a bite of the pancake he made making you hummed.

"I will think about it." you replied a few seconds after making Jungkook nod.

You fixed you husband’s tie, before kissing him softly, his hands on your hips.

"You’ll get late, go now." you laughed as he kept on kissing you.

"I don’t want to go." he groaned finally pulling away.

"Well, you have to." you repeated his words as you pinched his cheek, before grabbing his bag handing it to him.

"fine, fine. But one last kiss pretty please." he grinned.

—

y/n : I just finished at work. I think I’ll take your advice and go to the doctor.

jungkook : that’s good to know. When are you going?

y/n : In a few minutes. 15 minutes or so?

jungkook : I’ll come with you. 

y/n : Koo don’t, I can go alone. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you update. Keep working. I don’t want to disturb you.

jungkook : i know you don’t like taking blood sample so I’m not letting you go alone. You never disturb me.

y/n : I love you :(

jungkook : I love you more. I’ll be there asap. I’ll come pick you up.

y/n : I can drive.

jungkook : I know you can but you can get tired. I’ll drive. NO BUTS. See you in a few minutes.

You sighed putting your phone in your handbag.

"this man." you shook your head, a little smile on your lips.

—

"Are you ok, Mrs Jeon?" the doctor asked confused as you were staring into the void, standing next to the chair he asked you sit on

Jungkook discreetly gestured to the doctor to wait a minute.

"hey." he called softly.

"I’m here, hm? Don’t be scared."

"I’m not scared." you denied, even if you knew you were.

Jungkook smiled before grabbing hand.

"C’mon sit." he looked at you ,making you gulp before nodding.

You sat on the cold chair, taking a deep breath.

"ok, we’re good now?" the man asked as you nod hesitantly.

You shivered, heart picking up the pace as you saw him grabbing a needle.

"Are you ready, Mrs Jeon?" he took a hold of your arm tightly.

"N-No." you shook your head, retracting your arm.

Jungkook put his hand on your shoulder.

"you can hold my hand." he whispered as you nod slowly.

"Is it ok now?" the doctor asked patiently, smiling encouragingly.

"yes." you gulped.

"ok now, we will take a deep breath." he instructed considering how scared you were.

"I’ll count to 3." 

You looked over at your husband, this one sending you a cute smile to reassure you.

"1." you took a deep breath nervously.

"2." your vision became blur, as your eyes got teary.

"3." you closed your eyes, squeezing Jungkook’s hand tightly as you felt the slight penetration of the needle in the flesh of your arm.

"Here we go." the doctor said after a few seconds making you wipe the sliding tear away as you felt the little sting when the needle went out.

"good job, Mrs Jeon."  the tall man smiled with a thumb up.

"You did well, my love.” Jungkook murmured leaving a gentle kiss on your hand.

"Thank you.” you sniffed.

"I’ll send the blood sample to the laboratory. We will get the results within a week. You’ll come back to me so we can talk about it." he explained.

"What I’m asking you to do Mrs Jeon, is to rest, stay hydrated, and don’t skip meals." you just nodded.

"Thank you Doctor Kang, thank you for your patience." you lowered your head feeling embarrassed.

"Mrs Jeon, I’m doing my job. Take care of yourself. See you soon." he shook hands with you and Jungkook.

—

"See! I was sure you’d do well!" your husband cheered making you pout.

"You’re making fun of me." you punched him in his arm, a gasp escaping from his mouth.

"I would never!" he said offended.

"Just so you know, I’m proud of you!"

"I love you babe. Thank you for coming with me."

"I love you even more. Don’t thank me, I’m your husband. I’ll always be there for you. Remember that." he smiled taking you in his embrace, pecking your forehead.

—

"Next week, well I mean tomorrow it’s-"

"I know what you’re gonna say." Jungkook put his hand in front of your face interrupting you.

"The most beautiful time of the year." he chanted making your laugh.

"I love Christmas season!" you jumped on the bed excited, the sheets welcoming your body fresh from the warm shower you just took.

"baby, you hair is still wet." Jungkook approached the bed with a towel.

"Sit down.” he ordered gently.

“I’ll dry them."

You obeyed, facing him as he put the towel over your head.

You played with the strings of his great sweatpants as he finished on drying your hair.

Jungkook looked down at your hands, fingers pulling slightly on the sweatpants’ strings.

 "aren’t you tired?" he lifted your face.

"A little."

"Let’s sleep then." he walked away to the bathroom, coming back after a moment and turned off the lights.

"Good night." he whispered, taking you in his arms, resting your head on his bare chest.

"Night babe." you kissed his neck quickly.

—

[ 11:47 pm ]

You turned on your side agitated.

You tried your best to sleep but you couldn’t because your mind was wandering somewhere else.

You tried to count until the numbers you didn’t even know how to pronounce, tried to create those "teenagers scenarios" thing to fall asleep but nothing worked.

[ 1:03 am ]

"fuck it. I’ll go insane." you whisper-yelled as you sat up angrily.

You put your hands over your face feeling frustrated and embarrassed.

"not now." you whined quietly, looking to the side, your husband sleeping deeply.

You stood up, rushing to the bathroom.

"C’mon y/n.” you looked at yourself in the mirror.

"It’s not time to be horny." you splashed cold water on your face.

"that fucking grey sweatpants." you huffed,  wiping your face with a towel.

You sighed as you came back next to your husband.

"where were you?" you heard him mumbled sleepily.

"bathroom." you laid down, caressing his soft messy hair making him hummed.

"Can’t sleep?" he asked eyes still closed.

"I’ve noticed you kept on moving."

"sorry if I woke you up.”

"tell me."

"huh?"

"tell me what’s the matter?" he opened his eyes slowly, rubbing them as he sat up.

"no no don’t sit-" you sighed.

"I have no problem, don’t worry."

"Liar. Tell me now." he asked sternly.

"Koo-"

"y/n." he stared down at you.

You sat up, gulping.

"So?"

"I swear, I have no problem." you played with your fingers nervously.

"darling, look at me. I know there is something wrong, I can feel it. So tell me, maybe I can help." he grabbed your hands delicately.

“well, it’s .. hm.. I-"

"Why are you so hesitant?" he chuckled confused, shifting a bit so he could face you, the blanket sliding on the side revealing your enemy aka the grey sweatpants.

Your eyes dropped down, the warm trousers doing justice to what you wanted at the moment.

Jungkook stared at you, following your gaze before letting a breathy laugh pass by his lips.

"ah that’s why." he smirked.

"wh- what?" you looked back at him again panicked.

"You’re horny, aren’t you?" he teased.

"Shut up!" you turned away feeling embarrassed again.

"aw baby, you could had just asked." he laughed.

"Jungkook, that’s not funny!" you huffed throwing a pillow at him.

"Don’t be shy." he cooed.

“I’m not shy!"

"Ask me then." he smirked, watching as you turned around to face him again.

"what?"

"Ask me what you want." he said again.

“Tell me, what you want." he approached his face closer to yours making you gulp.

"Tell me what you want to do.” he cupped your cheek

"Tell me, what you want me to do to you, for you. You know I’ll do anything for you princess.”

His lips ghosting over yours.

fuck, the nickname.

“Cats got your tongue, honey?” he joked, hands sliding down your sides.

"I just.. I ..”

“I’m listening to you."

"It’s late. You should sleep."

Jungkook laughed pulling you on him, making you straddle his muscular thighs.

"huh huh don’t back away. C’mon, be a good girl and tell me what you want."

He stroked your bare thighs slowly, goosebumps raising after the soft touches of his fingertips dancing over the smooth skin, you could felt this -really familiar- exciting feeling in your lower stomach.

Jungkook bent a little forward, his lips caressed the sensitive spot of your neck making you shiver at the delicate contact.

He kissed your neck before talking again.

"C’mon." his mouth got higher, a light kiss being left behind your ear.

"tell me." he whispered into your ear, biting lightly on the earlobe.

"now."

"I want to.. I want to ride you. And then I want you to fuck me hard, real hard into the mattress until I cry and beg you to stop." you moaned at the feeling of his cold hands sneaking under your oversized shirt.

You heard him cursed under his breath as you felt his growing erection pressing under your thigh.

"you’re so hot and .. unpredictable fuck." he groaned.

You’re not this bold usually. Well, you’ve never been this bold, but guess you were too lost to mind what was going out of your mouth.

He grabbed you by the back of your neck, pulling you in a heated kiss. Lips crashing together as you sat just above his boner.

You sucked on his bottom lip earning a low moan from him.

You started moving your hips slowly, grinding on him.

Jungkook pushed you down on his hard on making you whimpered softly.

Peppering wet little kisses on his neck, you sucked on his sweet spot, tongue grazing over the now-red skin.

Jungkook slid your shirt up your head, discarding the clothing on the side.

"fuck." he groaned, eyes staring directly at your bare chest.

The sight of your perky buds alone enough could make him cum.

He bent down, his lips enveloping your hard nipple, sucking gently on it.

“Jungkook.” you moaned loudly, hands flying to his hair.

He parted away a little, looking at your face, mouth ajar, eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed.

You were just so hot.

He darted his tongue out, licking on the erected bud making you whine, his hand went up to cup your other breast, thumb flicking the sensitive nipple.

Pulling on his black locks, your pressed your hips down harder on him feeling his confined hard cock through the sweatpants.

You arched your back at the painful yet weirdly pleasurable feeling of his teeth around your hard nipple, pulling on it gently.

You suddenly gasped, both you and Jungkook looking toward the door.

"What was that?" you looked back at him.

“I don’t know." he replied hearing another noise coming from downstairs.

He pushed you gently to the side off his lap as he got out the bed.

"wait. what are you doing?" you asked as you put your shirt back quickly, jumping out the bed walking to him.

"Wait here, I’m gonna check-"

“what? no!" you whisper-yelled making him chuckle.

"I’ll come back. Don’t be scared."

"stop it, I’m not scared." you whined annoyed.

"What if there is someone downstairs? a robber? or worst!" you widened your eyes, grabbing on his bicep shaking his body.

"I can fight." he flexed his arm proudly.

"don’t joke around idiot, I’m serious." you murmured worried.

"don’t worry."

"I’m coming with you." you pursed your lips when he opened the door.

“Stay here." he repeated.

"No."

You rushed to your wardrobe searching for something making Jungkook stared at you curiously.

"what are you doing?" he whispered.

“here it is." you showed the baseball bat.

“hey, it’s mine." he pointed at the object speechless.

"not anymore. you gave it to me when we were in college dummy. you don’t remember?!" you looked at him offended. 

"ahh yea yea right, sorry. But what are you gonna do with that?" he bit on his bottom lip to not laugh at you.

"fight." you pushed the door wide open quietly making Jungkook bit back a grin.

You both walked in the dark corridor toward the stairs.

"Be careful." you whispered holding Jungkook’s hand while going downstairs slowly.

You were standing behind the wall, faint noises coming from the living room.

Jungkook gestured you to stay behind him as he approached the light switch.

“Who’s there?!" he said loudly.

No noises.

Your grip on the baseball bat tightened, as Jungkook turned the light on. 

A loud gasp escaped your mouth, as you stared in horror…

—

A/N : i hope it wasn’t boring 😭 thanks for reading guys! Sorry for the late update. I’m working on so many things at the same time. Love y’all ~

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE REMOVED / ADDED TO THE TAGLIST

TAGLIST : @btssevenx @starstruckfangirls @riworlds @babycandy111 @chimmisbae @borahaexoxo @bxcndd @tokiodori @jungkooksseuphoria @manuosorioh @axa-00 @kissme-ornot @delasmooth @cartiluv3r @lalita-7 @ohyeahjk @starlight-1010 @burnahtsw @kookietkk @0funsite0 @kleirielk @sheylamc @scjayy

[woofwoofwolf]

-Cleansing-

Nahida & Wanderer

[GENSHIN MASTERLIST]

NOTES: Not Beta Read, Sibling dynamic, Sarcastic Wanderer, Nahida and Scaramouche as Found Family (Genshin Impact), Nahida & Scaramouche Friendship (Genshin Impact), Nahida Being a Little Shit (Genshin Impact), Not a lot though, I just like that that's an existing tag, Wanderer fixes a doll for Nahida in this one

SUMMARY: "Nahida always comes up to Wanderer with the most mundane problems. He has a hard time refusing her, however."

WORD COUNT: 1090

[AO3 LINK]

Wanderer practically threw down his hat on his desk, grumbling to himself in annoyance. He was dripping water onto the intricate Sumarian carpet he bought for his room. Great.

“What’s wrong?” Nahida’s high tone caught him off guard and he whipped his head around. There she sat, on the edge of his bed, looking up at him innocently as if she wasn’t invading his privacy by being there.

“What are you doing here?” he said in a snide tone. Nahida opened up her hands like she was showing off a little bird. Instead she was holding a small doll made out of well-worn fabric. It looked like it was loved greatly by whichever child that had owned it.

“What’s this garbage?”

“A small child gave me their doll after I helped her find her lost dog. I tried to refuse her gift, but she wouldn’t let me.” 

“And? Why is that my problem?” He was starting to lose his patience. It wasn’t often, but every so often Nahida would come to him with absurdly mundane issues like these.

“It’s head is tearing off. You know how to fix it, don’t you?”

Wanderers expression softened. Oh.. He took the doll from Nahida’s hands. “...I’ll see what I can do, hold on.”

Nahida seemed surprised to hear this. “You’re going to fix it right now?”

“Do you want me to or not?” She shook her head yes, not wishing to test him any further.

The doll got damp, even just from him holding it, reminding him that he was still drenched from the rain. It was going to have to wait. The sooner he fixed up this doll, the sooner he didn’t have to think about this any more. Examining the doll further, it could use more than just a little needle and thread.

“There is a big bowl in my kitchen, could you please fill it with warm water and a little bit of soap before bringing it back here?”

Nahida nodded enthusiastically and disappeared into his small kitchen. Meanwhile, Wanderer opened his desk drawer and took out a small sewing kit to get to work.

“What are you doing!” Nahida gasped in mild surprise right behind his shoulder when she saw the doll disassembled on Wanderers desk.

“I’m taking out the stuffing so we can clean it. Just place the bowl on the desk already.” This annoying woman. As if she didn’t know what he was doing already. She had filled the bowl with the right temperature water as well.

She could probably fix it on her own if she wanted to. She just wanted to watch HIM do it. She observed his every move with full admiration as he gently bathed the different fabric parts of the doll, before blowing them dry with his Anemo powers and putting the stuffing back in. He wasn’t the most skilled at sewing the doll back together, but it got the job done.

“Here’s your stupid doll.” He said, avoiding her eyes.

Nahida smiled with childlike wonder as the doll was placed back in her hands, but she did not leave like he had hoped. 

“The girl was originally from Mondstad.” she said. Wanderer remained silent, leaning back in his desk chair with an unimpressed look on his face. “It seems like different regions all have different ways of making dolls. This one has special buttons for it’s eyes, while they just embroider them on in Sumeru. The girl said she had picked it up from the ground, but I suspect it was a handmade gift for someone.”

“And so it found its way in your hands.” Wanderer rested his face on the palm of his hand. “What were you doing anyways, helping out little babies on the street. Don’t you have anything better to do?”

Nahida smiled knowingly. He knew she analyzed every little detail of what he said and how he moved, but he was past caring about it, even if it was extremely annoying to him.

“I find it very important to take time out of my day to spend with the people of Sumeru. I have to listen to their problems as their archon. Even issues as small as these can tell me a lot about their feelings and interpersonal relationships.” She giggled as she looked at the doll in her hand. “The dog was asleep in the dog house by the way.”

“Aren’t you quite the detective.” 

“What about you?” she asked. “Why are you so soaked?”

Wanderer sneered. He sincerely hoped she wouldn’t look into his head right now. The truth is that he brought an Amurta student to the infirmary after she slipped and fell down the stairs. He would’ve ignored her if he could’ve, but unfortunately for him, there wasn’t anybody else around at the time. If he had gone straight home after class, he would have been watching the start of the rainfall from his window with a book in his lap.

“Thanks for noticing. I was on my way back from class when I got caught in a rainstorm. I thought Sumeru was a sunny country.”

“Sumeru experiences rainy season every summer. They blow in from the cold region of Snezhnaya. They’re essential for the survival of the rainforest.” Nahida always seemed happy to explain things to people, so she took any opportunity she deemed fit.

Wanderer rolled his eyes at her. “That was a rhetorical statement, thank you very much.”

Nahida giggled. “Are you just going to sit there in your wet clothes?”

He sincerely hoped she could notice his displeasure at her hypocrisy. “Well. I WAS going to immediately dry off, but it seems something distracted me from doing so.”

“Oh dear,” Nahida averted her eyes, looking a little guilty. As she should. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. To be fair, I didn’t ask you to fix it right this moment. That was your decision.”

Wanderer felt heat creep up his neck. “It isn’t like I’ll get sick anyways. Besides, you got what you wanted, didn’t you? Now are you going to leave, or what? I’ll warn you, I could dry off my clothes the same way I dried off the doll, but if I do that you would leave this room a watered daikon.”

Nahida giggled merrily and ran back to the door. She turned around just before leaving. “Thank you, hat guy. Maybe you could teach me how to make one of these some day.”

Wanderer was left in silence. He looked outside as lightning flashed. Tch. How annoying.

---------------------------

Debated about putting this on tumblr, since I primarily write self insert fanfiction, but I thought, eh why not. This was a gift for someone on discord, thanks for giving me the challenge!

[bangtaninborderland]

Risk It All (23) It’s Not Too Late To Heal

Genre: Chishiya X Fem reader, angst, 18+

Warning: mentions of drugging

A/N: there may be smut the next chapter, this was so unexpected I didn’t even know how I wrote this. Finally the slow burn is coming to an end!!

Ch.22|MasterList|Ch.24

You didn’t know what to do with yourself, you checked the house again maintaining some, albeit small, slither of hope that he was there. You went as far as checking outside too, not straying too far, of course, the very real threat of being shot to death wasn’t appealing even now so you did all you could do… you waited.

Maybe it was your exhaustion that gave it away or some suppressed memory from earlier but it became clearer with every passing moment he had drugged you.

Fucking asshole.

You watched the sun fade and set, your mouth had long grown dry and your limbs stiff when you heard the door open. Disregarding the pins and needles in your right foot you shoot up, running as fast as your body could let you to the door.

A wave of relief flooded you momentarily at the sight of him, it was a short wave of relief one replaced with a much more propellant anger.

Even in this world, you were only human, a human being with human responses, and although you weren’t a fan of violence it felt justified.

So you drew your hand back as far as you could and you slapped him, the sound resonating through the house. “You fucking drugged me.”

He grabbed your wrists, his own anger apparent. “You fucking hit me.”

Your body hit the wall with a thud, the door closing now his frame wasn’t in the way. You kicked your leg out catching his shin. “YOU FUCKING DRUGGED ME CHISHIYA.”

“Because you’re too stubborn to listen. You would have ended up hurt if I didn’t.” He justified.

“So you drug me? YOU ABANDON ME HERE? DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING WORRIED I WAS?” You screamed, pushing him hard enough to have him stumbling backwards. “Fuck you.”

“Fuck me?” He scoffs, standing upright to walk after you. “You’re too stubborn to reason with.”

“We are not skipping the fact you drugged me!” He was being unbelievable.

He raised his eyebrows, questioning you. “It was sleeping pills I didn’t give you too much if you slept that long you clearly needed it.”

“You’re such an entitled arrogant piece of shit.” You throw your hands up.

“So we are back to this.” He mumbled unamused, slumping on the couch. “Get it all out.”

“No Chishiya. You don’t understand because you’re a man and you have a privilege. Whether it be in this world or another men have a privilege. What would have happened if someone came in here whilst I was drugged out?” You explained as calmly as you could despite the fire bubbling under your skin.

He pondered it for a moment. “Wouldn’t have happened.”

“What are you a fucking fortune teller?” You laughed ironically, genuinely shocked by his response. “Grow the fuck up and face the real world.”

“Shut up for one fucking second!” He rolled his eyes. His tone catches you off guard. “You know what fine maybe I did some that that was less than decent but I did it with the right intentions and if you can’t see that then it’s on you. I won’t explain every single action to you, I’m not always fucking right I got thrown into this world too so stop acting like a fucking victim all the time and realise I’m doing the best with what I fucking have.”

You were both speechless and ready to debate every comment he made. “Is that it?”

“No.” He shuffles uncomfortably. “Sorry for drugging you.”

You brushed off his apology, not sure where his “sorry” had come from. “Where did you go?”

“Where I said, I hiked up, and found the clubs game.” He shrugged, as though the information wasn’t interesting. “Another blimp but no card on them.”

“You think they are waiting for the spades and clubs to end before they start any others?” It would make sense, especially if the games were bigger.

“Possibly.” A moment of silence before he continued. How do you feel?”

“You drugged me how do you think I feel.” You scoffed, he was not serious. “I trusted you.”

“You aren’t hurt.” He spoke it as a face, not a question. “Thanks to me.”

“I could have been hurt, thanks to you.” You retorted.

“You could have been but you weren’t, you definitely would have been if I had let you come with me.”

You feel the walls around your heart breaking, a wave of defeat encasing you. You sniffled, composing yourself before beginning. It was now or never, you couldn’t keep doing this anymore. “Don’t pretend like you care, every time you say you do, you kiss me and make me feel things that I know I shouldn’t. You bring me this hope Chishiya, hope I didn’t expect to find in this world and I keep on waiting and waiting for you to finally drop the whole “I can’t love you here” stance but either way I’ll die. I won’t live forever, the promise of death won’t disappear once we are back in the normal world and that’s if it still exists. You think love makes you weak but love gives you a reason to fight, I keep fighting for you, I keep putting myself in these positions to be hurt because I think I love you.”

“You…” he trailed off, the silence making bile rise in your throat.

Your lips tugged upwards at the corners.“I think I love you.”

“Why.”

“Because you’re an asshole but you still take care of me, despite how much you say you don’t care and don’t want me you are there every time something goes wrong, you listen when I talk even though you don’t say much you hear me. I know underneath all that stubbornness you have a heart and I know you’re capable of love.”

“I don’t love you.” He breathes, his words slicing your heart into two. You press your lips together, refusing to cry. “I like you though.”

You whipped your head up to him, staring in disbelief as he continued. “I don’t really know what love is but I don’t want you to get hurt and it’s nice having you here, I hated you at first because you were annoying and pitiful but then I spent time around you and realised I may have misjudged you.”

“That doesn’t sound too…are you sure you like me?” You scratched your head, not entirely endeared by his confession.

“Wait, that sounded bad let me try again.” He laughed, a sound you weren’t familiar with. “I thought you were the same as everyone else, you weren’t. You weren’t willing to sacrifice everyone else to survive, you tried to help as many people as possible. You reminded me of the reason I wanted to become a doctor, to help those who couldn’t help themselves. Regardless of how badly I treated you, I apologise by the way, you didn’t walk away and you didn’t want me to get hurt.”

“Oh.” Your face flushed red. “I didn’t like you when I helped you at first, I just didn’t want anyone to get hurt.”

“I know. I'm sorry for leaving you here alone.”

“What does this mean Chish? I can’t be in that state of unknown anymore.” You watch the way his eyes flick to you before looking out the small window.

“I think in our world people said “going steady, no?” He laughed, once again surprising you.

“I’d like that.” You let the silence settle, the conversation repeating itself. The last part has you snorting. “I never thought I’d hear you say that. Seriously, never use trendy phrases again..”

“Thank god I felt ridiculous.” He looks around laughing. “Have you eaten?”

You shook your head. “Didn’t really have time to.”

“I can make something?” He offers, eyes still fixed on the floor.

You laugh standing up. “After drugging me? I’ll cook for us.”

“Hey.” He reaches out, his fingers cold as the hook yours. “It was only sleeping pills, I’m sorry, I just didn’t want you to get hurt and you’re too stubborn to listen.”

“you’re forgiven, just next time maybe don’t do that.” You smile, you don’t want to let go of his hand but your stomach rumbles, ruining the moment.

“Let’s get some food.” He smiles and as though he can read your mind he squeezes your hand, tightening his grip as he leads you to the kitchen. “You know from the mountain it’s like the further it goes the worst the buildings get, I think we are in the clearest part of Tokyo, the further out it gets the more it turns from city to forest.”

You shuffle through the few canned goods in the cupboard, picking out some fruit ones. “So what, does that mean time passes differently here?”

“I think so, we all arrived around the same time, a day or two apart, the longest period at the beach between newcomers was a week. No one entered after that, of course, there could be some who kept to themselves and ended up dying. I can’t figure it out but I did decide something….”

The way he ended the sentence alarmed you. You nodded, encouraging him to go on. “I want to join the diamond game.”

“No.” You were resolute, and definitive in your answer. “You can’t.”

“It’s the only way I’ll learn more, I haven’t lost a game up until now.“ he reassures you, in a way he was right, it’s how this world worked.

“How is your visa?” You asked, dumping the contents of the cab inside a bowl.

“I have 12 days left. That’s presuming they restarted today. What about you?” He stole a piece of melon and you slapped his hand.

“Wait until I’m finished.” You open the second can, pouring it into another bowl. “You have enough days you don’t have to play. Adding the 10 from the beach I have around 22 days.”

“You can stay behind, I think it will be better if you don’t play anymore.” He helps you carry the bowl to the table, sitting opposite you. “I have to do this. This whole time I’ve been waiting for these games. I know you’re afraid but I will come back. I just-“

“You need answers.” You supplied.

“I do.” He nodded, chewing on a piece of pineapple. “This world gave me a piece of life I didn’t know I wanted.”

“I need you to promise you’ll come back to me.” You focused on the bowl of fruit, willing your fear away. “Promise me.”

“I will do everything I can to win.” His leg brushes against yours under the table. “Eat up.”

You ate in silence, although it had grown more comfortable. You winced as you brought the food to your mouth, a light pain shooting down your arm.

He lurched forward as you hissed. “Are you okay?”

“My arm.” You mumbled.

“Let’s go sit on the couch, I’ll have a look at it.” He helps you up, walking with you, only parting to grab the small first aid box.

He stares at you expectantly, his lip caught between his teeth.

“What?”

He motions to you. “Your um.. shirt.”

You go red with embarrassment. “Oh yeah.”

You peeled under your shirt, your bra being the only thing you had on. “Uh, I don’t have anything.”

“It’s fine, if you’re comfortable I mean, it’s okay, I see it a lot…” you raise your eyebrows and he laughs “No no, not a lot being a doctor I see a lot, just, whatever.”

You laugh at his blabbering. “Can you help me take it off?”

“That’s different from your attitude yesterday.” He laughed, stepping forward. It was a little awkward but eventually, you got it off. He didn’t stare, he didn’t even look. His attention went straight to the bandages on your arm.

“It’s okay, just a little blood.” He explains. “No torn stitches.” He brings up a cleaning pad to wipe over the wound. “A week or two and we can take the stitches out, because they aren’t medical grade it has to be removed physically.”

“Will it hurt?” You grimace.

“Not as much as it hurt to have them put in, I’ll try to find some more pain medication there’s a relatively intact store about 20 minutes away.” He explains, wrapping fresh bandages.

“I’m coming this time.” You declare and he laughs, nodding. You continue, unable to stop watching his movements as you do. “The diamond game isn’t starting yet, we have time.”

“Let me guess, there’s something you want?” He raises an eyebrow, closing up the first aid box.

“You’ll come back from the game, you’ll be safe, I just want to enjoy whatever time there is before you go.” You selfishly had said them to comfort yourself, he had to come back.

He hums. “What do you want to do?”

“Have you ever played uno?” You had found a new packet in a drawer in the house, and other games around gave you the illusion there were once children here. It’s weird to think that In another world, in your world, there are children playing outside, animals bathing in the sun, mothers and fathers preparing dinner. Just because you were in a world that lacked everything normal it didn’t mean you couldn’t have a few days of good.

He watched your face, his gaze flicking from your lips to your eyes. “Uno as in the card game? I can’t say I have.”

“Oh, you’re going down.”

“Didn’t we say no more trendy phrases?”

You lifted your leg, kicking him lightly. “Asshole.”

He moved out of the way just in time, throwing your shirt back to you. And in this moment you had three thoughts:

Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad.

Maybe things would work out.

Maybe, just maybe, Chishiya will love you too.

[daboyau]

I know that 90% of the people following me are here for turtle content, but I just updated a bnha fic I’ve been writing for six years, so I’m making a post about it. :) The chapter can be found on ao3 here!

There are blood stains on the floor of the bathroom. It started as only one, but they keep increasing the longer he spends locked away in there. Every time Chizome comes home, he lets him out, and they train and they train and they train until Izuku can’t stand anymore. Sharp rocks hidden in the grass cut the bare soles of his feet and the weapons he wields make his hands bleed after so long spent clutching and swinging and throwing and missing and trying again and again until he perfects it. Before he goes back to town, Chizome opens a fresh wound on his arm or his leg, fills his flask, and then leaves Izuku to rot again. It feels like he’s always bleeding these days. 

Izuku has spent so much time staring at the bloodstains. They won’t come out, no matter how hard he scrubs at them, but Nikko likes to curl up beside him while he’s cleaning so he keeps trying anyway. He feels dizzy now, staring at the one a few centimeters from his nose as he lays crumpled on the floor, trying to remind his lungs and his throat to keep breathing as he waits for Chizome’s quirk to wear off. 

He only really uses it now when he’s coming back or leaving. It’s as good a gauge as any to know when Chizome is on his way to the cabin, Izuku supposes. A bright side, if he’s really determined to find one. 

The door bursts open at almost the same time that Izuku’s muscles release from their painful freeze. He gasps for breath and curls into a ball, shuddering as his body fights to regain control of its motor functions. He’d bitten his lip when he’d collapsed. The taste of blood fills his mouth and he swallows a few times, not yet strong enough to stand and spit it into the sink. 

“Get up,” Chizome says, and though his voice is rough and tinged with something that scares Izuku, his hands are gentle as he grabs him and hoists him to his feet. “Gather your things and start cleaning. We’re leaving. Tonight.”

Izuku fights to focus his dry eyes, and Chizome’s face finally comes into view. His eyes are burning, the red irises almost glowing from within the sunken hollows of his sockets. Izuku swallows hard, heart hammering away inside his chest as Chizome stares at him with a frightening intensity. 

“Okay,” Izuku rasps once he realizes that Chizome is waiting for a response. “What happened?”

Chizome releases him and steps back, running a hand through his hair and heaving a sigh. He’s jittery. His eyes sweep the cabin restlessly, pupils shrunk to pinpricks, tongue darting out again and again to wet his lips. Izuku’s heart is beating so fast it’s making him feel a little dizzy. 

“Someone’s on to us,” he says at last. Izuku bristles at how vague he’s being, but at least the panic in Chizome’s eyes makes more sense now. “They’ve been trying to follow me back here. I thought they’d give up after a while, but the bastard’s persistent. It’s only a matter of time before they succeed.”

“Who?” Izuku demands, trying to keep his tone firm and confident despite the way the word breaks on its way out of his dry throat. Chizome doesn’t answer, having already turned away to begin gathering anything within easy reach. 

Izuku watches him silently. Exhaustion drags at his limbs, making each bone feel like it weighs a few hundred pounds. He wants to sleep in a bed. He wishes he could remember what kind of sheets his mama used to put on his bed when he was little. He wishes his All Might quilt hadn’t gone up in flames when Chizome had burned their old apartment to ashes. 

“I’m going to sleep in the car,” he warns as he walks past Chizome to the kitchen. His legs feel a little shaky, but he does his best to push through it. Chizome’s head turns to follow him, his gaze feeling like needles boring into his skin, but Izuku pretends not to notice. “I don’t want to be all tied up this time. I’ll hide under the blanket if you want me to, but I want to be comfy so I can take a nap.”

“Okay,” Chizome says easily. Izuku breathes a silent sigh of relief as he kneels to search beneath the sink, pulling out every cleaning tool, rubber glove, and spare sponge tucked away beneath it. Nikko sticks her head into the cabinet, nose twitching curiously and ears partially pinned back. Izuku shoos her away.

“We’re out of bleach,” he announces, trying to ignore the prickling along his spine that tells him that Chizome is still watching him like a hawk after a bunny. His body is aching and he feels the muscles in his legs trembling as he rises from his crouch. He hopes it isn’t too obvious; Chizome’s been so unpredictable, and the last thing he needs is for him to decide that it’s a sign of weakness that needs to be trained out of him right this moment. Or worse, think that Izuku is scared of being found and start babying him. That would probably just mean whoever’s coming after them winds up dead and Izuku gets put back in solitary confinement with nothing to do. “I can just use a rag and dish soap, I guess.” 

Chizome sighs, long and deep and controlled, like he does when Izuku has said some fundamentally wrong but ultimately inconsequential thing. The rag he’s holding is wrung between trembling hands, tighter and tighter until the scrape of rough material against his blisters and scabs becomes too much. The blue of the rag is stained with dark streaks of blood now, and Izuku worries at his lower lip and hopes that Chizome won’t notice. It’s no big deal. They’ve got plenty of rags. It’s fine. 

He tucks the soiled rag behind his back, out of sight. 

“We probably don’t have enough hydrogen peroxide to clean the mess in the bathroom, right?” Chizome asks, eyes squeezing shut, mouth going terse with what Izuku can guess is an oncoming headache. He seems fractured today, like the stress of the situation is too much for him to think straight around. Izuku’s stomach hurts. 

“No. We ran out last week. No bleach, baking soda, or lemon juice either.”

“Right. Okay. Unless we want to burn this place down, I guess I’d better go to the store.” 

“I think burning it down would just draw more attention,” Izuku mumbles, trying not to let how much he wants to roll his eyes be too apparent in his tone. Or how much the mere suggestion makes him sick. 

“Yeah, kid. You’re right.” Chizome’s voice is soft, and as he passes behind Izuku the hand that ruffles his hair is gentle. It takes everything he has not to flinch away from the touch. 

.

Tatsui is not a patient man, which means that the last three weeks of staking this asshole’s apartment out have been just short of torturous. He was boring in his predictability, and extremely frustrating in how he always managed to lose Tatsui’s company-issued vehicle during his days off of work. It’s an unmarked model. Nothing fancy, but maybe a bit better maintained than most vehicles seen around town. It’s nothing that should draw any attention, which of course makes it even more suspicious that Yamada’s managed to lose him every time. That was what had finally clued him in to the fact that the asshole definitely knew he was being followed at this point, and recognized the car. 

Luckily he has a friend who had agreed to loan him his old piece of shit car in exchange for borrowing his nicer company vehicle. Tatsui’s ass will be on the line if his boss ever finds out, but it was worth it, because he’s finally gotten close enough to find where his suspect’s hideout is. 

He grins as he watches the familiar car turn onto a small dirt driveway tucked away in the countryside a few kilometers outside town, the entrance almost hidden by overgrowth. Tatsui passes by and parks on the side of the road a ways ahead, waiting fifteen minutes before turning back around to find the driveway again. He follows it until he finds the small, piece of shit cabin tucked into a clearing at the end of the drive. Yamada’s equally shitty car is parked close by. 

Tatsui grins to himself as he pulls his car off the dirt drive and into the surrounding trees, hidden away from any wandering eyes but still able to keep the front door and the car in view. From there, it’s only a matter of time. Once that asshole leaves again for his next shift, he’ll be free to search the hideout for any evidence he might need to make his case against him. 

As it turns out, though, he doesn’t have to wait very long at all. Tatsui curses under his breath and slinks further down into his seat as the slam of the front door echoes through the trees. He can feel his blood pounding in his head, and his heart racing as he considers how much could go wrong if he’s caught. If his theory is wrong and he’s caught spying on a civilian, his job will be on the line. On the other hand, if he’s right about this guy being the villain who took down Ingenium, it will mean a fight. If he’s spotted now, he’s screwed either way.

He watches Yamada as he strides to his car. In the perceived privacy of the forest, the man moves like a predator: graceful, strong, and confident. It’s strange to see him in an environment where he doesn’t know he’s being observed. He seems like a completely different person than the quiet, fumbling idiot that he presents himself as in town. The difference only further cements in Tatsui’s mind that he’s onto something big. 

Yamada pauses for only one brief moment as he gets to the car. His eyes sweep the treeline, and Tatsui holds his breath, waiting for the man to see him and come storming over. The thought of him pulling a cell phone to report Tatsui to the police or his superior is almost more frightening than the threat of him pulling a knife. At least with a weapon, Tatsui’s suspicions would have merit and his quirk would be useful. 

In the end, he’s able to relax a little bit as his douchebag suspect climbs into his car and drives away. What he could have on his agenda so soon after getting to his hideout, Tatsui has no idea. He doesn’t care, either. He’s found the cabin, and its occupant is gone; he’s not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. This is his chance to search the house for evidence, and he refuses to squander it. 

[ghost-orca]

Channeling Your Love; Chapter 2

Description: You're a music radio show host in Jackson, Joel meets you, what more can I say?

Warnings: PTSD, Trauma, Future Smut: Just pure fluff for now

You can’t leave

Your breath is hitching, you want to scream

No one’s gonna understand if I let you go

Panic, sweat, tears, all of it taking over you

You’re just gonna have to wait here with me, until you really understand girlie

 You wake up abruptly, sweating and breath heavy. “Goddammit” you whisper to yourself, raising the back of your hand to your sweaty forehead. Looking at the clock on your wooden cart bedside cabinet, you see it’s one minute before your alarm is supposed to go off. You lay back down on the bed, relieved to be where you are. You let the minute pass in bliss, jumping up to your feet in excitement for a new day ahead once the alarm finally goes off. 

You place the needle on your record player and press play to start your morning routine with Make Your Own Kind Of Music by Cass Elliot, starting up the shower. You keep the bathroom door open to enjoy the music.“Singgg your own special song” You sing along as the shower water hits your face, your hips swing side to side along with the song, face beaming with appreciation for a daily shower. You remember being prickly when it came to bathing before the outbreak, getting fussy when your mother insisted you needed to take a shower. Something you learned to never take for granted now. Exiting the shower you dry yourself down with a towel, unable to stop yourself from dancing around your studio along with the music after “Even if nobody else sings alongggg”

 Once you're fully dressed in some bootcut jeans and an old t-shirt, you sit yourself down in your office, writing your cue’s for the day you had planned the previous night, when you wanted to just talk with your audience of Jackson, hoping to build a stronger sense of community through your thoughts, even if it mostly comes off as rambling. Whatever works you tell yourself, at least you're trying. You suddenly hear a knock at your entrance door, surprising you. You walk down stairs to the entrance, opening your door to a young girl with red hair and green eyes. 

“Hey there! I’m guessing your Ellie?” you ask

“Um- yeah! That's me!” She responds, her eyes light up 

“Come on in, I've been so excited to meet you!” You say, holding the door open for her. She agrees to come in with a huge grin on her face.

 Ellie starts showing up at 9am everyday from then on, and you teach her everything there is to know about hosting a radio show for the next three weeks while she keeps her journal on hand, writing down almost everything you have to teach her. She watches you intently as you host, dancing with you whenever you do, asking about different bands and songs she’d find in your various selections. She’d start calling you Radio Queen, or R.Q. for short, and you’d found it endearing. Eventually in time, after playing Heart Cooks Brain by Modest Mouse, which Ellie had suggested to play,  you start speaking into the mic. She’s ready, you think. “Listen up Jackson, I think everyone should know that I've had a lovely young apprentice these last three weeks, her name is Ellie, and if you haven't met her, you should! She’s a really great kid, and if I'm ever out of commission, I think Ellie would be perfect for doing the job in my place.” You look towards Ellie, and she’s beaming with excitement. You give her a wide smile back, feeling a sense of pride. She runs over and gives you a hug once the next song starts and you hug her back. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” Ellie says, jumping up and down excitedly. You start to feel emotional in the embrace, holding back tears, “You’re welcome kiddo” is all you can manage.

 An hour passes, and you remember Ellie has to go back home soon, you look at her mouthing  ‘say your goodbyes' after the last song ends, she nods in excitement, running over. “Hey Jackson! It’s Ellie here! I'm sure you heard that I’m gunna rule this station one of these days, and it’s gunna be badass!” She shouts into the mic. You start giggling, waving your hand at her to stop before she’s even begun. A knock at the door is heard. You look to Ellie to encourage her to keep going and go downstairs to answer the door. You're still giggling when you open up the front door, shaking your head. Once you look up you make eye contact with Joel, his hand leaning against the wall with his other hand in his pocket. You didn't know he was thinking about how to pose himself for five minutes before knocking on the door in case you had answered. He gives you a subtle smirk, looking down at you. “Heard Ellie got a promotion.” he piped up, rubbing his fingers together with his hand still leaning his body in the same position. You’re dumbstruck by how he holds himself, straightening your shoulders back to perk yourself up as you clear your throat. “She, um, yeah she deserves it. She’s been working really hard here, and we’ve been having alotta fun.” You respond, shyly making eye contact. His hazel eyes look so pretty. You want to stare into them forever. Joel’s still smirking at you, play it cool, old man he thinks to himself. You both hear Ellie from upstairs “And with that, I bid you all adieu with- Liiizstoo-Listo-whata? I don’t fucking know how to pronounce that but it’s by Phoenix!” Her voice draws out the name as the music starts. 

 You slap your hand against your forehead, cringing in embarrassment “Lisz-to-mania.” you whisper to yourself. Joel chuckles, shaking his head “I’m sorry about that, I’ll be sure to talk to her about it.” You start pumping your fist lightly against your forehead, nodding in agreement. You’re aware that Jackson isn’t a judgemental community, but you try to keep things professional in the most light hearted sense to hold up a certain standard, even in a world that doesn’t care about professionalism anymore. Breathing out a sigh, you let it go as Ellie makes her way downstairs to you and Joel. “Hey kiddo, congrats on your big step up the ladder.” Joel says this as he pulls Ellie into an awkward side hug squeeze, Ellie rolls her eyes. “It’s not that big a deal, man.” Her response makes you pout, you thought it was a big deal honestly. You saw it as Ellie making a big step in continuing what you were trying to rebirth into the world, a small win for humanity in rebuilding. Joel notices your disappointment, nudging Ellie. “Not that I’m not fucking thrilled though!” She responds eagerly looking up at you, Joel nods in agreement, “Yeah and I’m real proud of you kiddo, honest to god I came running straight here to give ya a big hug and tell ya how proud I am when I heard the news from Tommy.” He gives Ellie another tight squeeze. Ellie blows a raspberry in response “Tsk, yeah right old man.” Hiding the blush creeping on her face as she looks away out of embarrassment. 

 You watch the two of them in awe, remembering when your father would come home to you and your mother from work, giving you a big hug and letting you go on and on about your day or whatever “cool” rock you had found. Then your mind flashes back to when he hadn't come home, the TV streaming panic on the news “Everyone needs to stay indoors for safety”, your mother crying over the phone dialing over and over “Pick up, pick up, god please pick up.”

 You interrupt your train of thought, “Well, I should get back to it.” putting a lid on your memories. Joel noticed your mind was somewhere else for a moment, “Uh, sure, d’ya need help with anything before we go?” He’s not even sure why he asked, just felt like he had to when he saw the look on your face. “Nah that’s alright, but thanks anyway.” you say, having fully found your bearings now as you pull your hair back, giving him a nod and smile to show you're alright. He nods, “Alright then, give me a holler if you need anything. Let’s get going Ellie'' he starts making his way back with Ellie, “Thanks Joel. Ellie, I’ll see you at 9 tomorrow?” You ask, “Yep! Seeya!” Ellie waves her hand up in your direction, already walking back a couple steps ahead of Joel leisurely. Joel stops a moment to look bad at you, “Sure you're alright?” he asks out of earshot from Ellie, drawling in a slight whisper with concern in his voice. You look at him as he doesn’t break eye contact, slightly taken aback by his concern for you, but find it endearing. “Yeah, just a bit tired is all.” You manage to answer as you feel your belly start to tighten, cheeks warming up. He smiles and nods again, “Alright then.” pacing his way down to follow Ellie home as you watch his back walk away from you, noticing how defined his shoulders are even in a winter jacket.

 A few hours pass in solitude, two glasses of bourbon in for the night to come to a close for your show. You watch snowfall cover the town as smooth jazz plays, it's so peaceful. You look down at a familiar small box in the cupboard next to your desk. Pulling it out and placing the box on your desk, you lift the boxes covering, staring at a lone silver lighter with the engraving of a topless mermaid, the edges of it smoky and blackened. You take the lighter out of the box, observing it, then switching the lighter on to see if it will still set aflame. It does, and you shudder. Still burning, after all these years you think to yourself. A hidden secret that no one dares to try to uncover. Placing the lighter back into its box and under the cupboard, you sigh, and take a long sip of your drink. 

 As the final note fades out you bring the recorder up to your lips to say goodnight to Jackson with a final song, Weak by SWV “I hope everybody has a somebody that they can dance along to this song with, ‘fore closin’ the curtains'' Your words are a bit slurred from the alcohol in your system. “And with that, I bid y’all a goodnight.” Cutting out you pick yourself up to sway along slowly, snapping along to the beat. Your head spins as you do, “Can’t explain why your loving makes me weak” sung along. A knock at the door makes you jump, and quickly you fix yourself to get ahold of your bearings. Going down to answer the door in frustration you assume it's Maria asking you to take on a patrol job for someone the night before, again. “Maria, I’ve told you before you have to give me atleast a day’s notice to- '' swinging open the door mid sentence, you see it's not Maria, but it is in fact Joel. He looks cold, like he’s been standing there in place for a while, waiting for you - He was, working up the courage to knock on your door- his eyes widened upon seeing you, not expecting that you would really answer. 

 “Sorry-” You start saying at the same time, both surprised at each other's company. “Uh, you go first, sorry.” you're flustered, what is he doing here? You think, but you realize that you're somewhat happy to see him. He looks away from you, rubbing his bearded cheek, embarrassed. What the hell am I doing here? He thinks to himself. “I was uh, I was at the bar and I heard you talking on the radio and thought, you might have wanted some company. It’s my day off tomorrow, so, I don’t gotta get up early.” Your face starts heating up, Is he insinuating what I think he…? It dawns on Joel what he’s just said to you, “I didn't mean it like- I don't- ah christ.” You blink, he is making this so damn awkward you think, you’d almost find it adorable if you yourself didn't feel so embarrassed. I am making this so damn awkward Joel thinks to himself, unable to bear it all. “I should just go, I’m sorry for bothering you so late. G’night.” Before he can make a run for it and huddle in shame in the comfort of his own home you call out his name, “D’you...do you wanna share a drink with me?” You start regretting your words once they come out of your mouth, your legs start to shake. Joel looks at you with surprise, letting the moment go quiet for what feels like ages. “Never mind, sorry, goodnight Joel-” before you could slam the door shut and cringe yourself to sleep, Joel catches his foot between the door and its frame. He holds back a pained groan from the fast impact and sheer strength you put into the doors swing. “Shit! Joel, I am so sorry!” You flail your hands widening the door away from his almost crushed foot. “S’alright” he winces out weakly, he’s trying really hard to act like it doesn't hurt that much, but it really does. “Come on, lemme put some ice on that.” You've fully widened the door to invite him in, and he agrees. 

 You attempt to reach a hand out to him to help him up the stairs, but he just raises his hand up shaking his head, insistent on helping himself up. You book your way to the fridge and open the freezer to grab some ice cubes and make an impromptu ice pack covering a small handful with a cloth hand towel, wrapping it up with the hair tie you were using on your ponytail.

Joel limps his way to your old couch, and sits, feeling the uncomfortable springs in the mattress. Should really get ridda this old thing, or at least replace the mattress, wouldn’t be good for their back, he thinks to himself. You sit yourself down on the couch to give him the icepack you made, telling him to put his foot on your lap, and he hesitantly agrees.

You almost take his shoe off for him but feel it would be overstepping, asking him to take his shoe off for you politely. Once it's removed he places his sock covered foot in between your thighs. You place the towel full of ice cubes against his foot and hold it there for a few seconds. “Be sure to hold this in place for a while.” You tell Joel, he nods, unable to speak or look at you at this point, feeling embarressed. He must be mad at me, you assume. You get up and grab the bottle of bourbon from your office and bring over two glasses from your kitchen cabinet to the coffee table. Pouring each of you a glass, you start by apologizing profusely, “this should help with the pain at least.” you say handing a glass to Joel, and he thanks you, taking a sip…

 You spend the next thirty minutes in silence, slowly sipping your drinks while you sit scrunched up at one end of the couch with Joel’s leg stretched out across it sitting opposite you. You finally decide you should play some music on your record player to fill the dead air. “Is there uh- any music you like Joel?” You ask as you get up to look through your various records that you could play. Joel thinks on this for a moment, and you watch him think with anticipation, excited to learn what makes this man enjoy himself. “Zeppelin. You got that anywhere in your collection?” He finally decides. You start grinning ear to ear, quickly digging through your rock albums stack for your copy of Led Zeppelin III.

Once you place the needle on the vinyl disc, Immigrant Song starts playing. You begin bumping your head along with the drum beat and chords. You turn and see Joel is nodding along as well, mouthing along to the “ah ah ahhh”’s of Robert Plant’s singing, eyes shut while his finger waves along with the melody. You start dancing along casually, staying in place as your arms raise and hips start to sway. In this moment what you share is so precious, two people without a worry in an uncaring and gruesome world. The music starts to fade out and you see him watching you, Joel’s been watching you closely the entire time. Swallowing, like your tongue is stuck in your throat, you turn the music down so as not to disturb any sleeping neighbors and plop down on the couch next to him. He watches you push your hair away from your face as he slowly takes a long sip from his glass, drinking you in. 

 Time passes while you both make small talk about the songs as they play, and you realize Joel has rested his leg on your thighs, must have two songs ago. You’ve both finished your drinks at this point and the stillness in the air makes you notice how fast your heart is beating in your chest. Since I’ve Been Loving You reverberates against the walls, and you share a long glance. Joel doesn’t blink, just looks stares and starts making a sultry grin at you. Your heart stops and you look away, pretending to focus on something, anything to peel your eyes away from him before you give yourself away. A heat is pooling in your cheeks and in between your thighs. Joel starts nodding to himself, with a quiet chuckle unheard by you as the music drowns it out. Mighty shy, that one Joel thinks. You let some time pass before deciding to speak, “Joel?” You ask shyly, still not looking in his direction. “Yes darlin’?” Darlin’? Oh man…You find courage and turn your head swiftly to look at him, “I’m really sorry I hurt your foot”, You whisper as you start rubbing your hand up and down the leg he has laid out on you. This cracks Joel up, and he slowly blinks, You are just the most adorable thing he thinks. “I forgive you.” Joel says finally, a smirk on his lips. You bite your lower lip and nod. Sitting in continued silence for what feels like hours, you both slowly drift off to sleep holding the same positions, comfortable in each other's company.  

[mcsacaria-blog]

Sorrow P3

Authors note: idk where this is going btw I have not story in mind this is just improvised. Also part 3-4 were supposed to be one big chapter but tumblrs dumb and it won’t let me post it all in one.

Warnings: kidnapping, OC Dabi lol I’m not good at writing for him, Yandere-like content, stalking, blood, dingy warehouse, fire, needles, swearing

The next day I’m walking back to my hotel and I smell cider and ash. I pause and mentally pray, hoping Bakugou hasn’t found me. It’s been 3 months of silence..

I inhale once more and settle down after I realize there’s no lingering scent of burnt sugar and caramel following behind the smoke. However as I continue walking, I now notice the smoke is coming from the hotel I’m staying at.

I rush the rest of the way there until I’m standing in front of the smoking building. I catch a glimpse of black spikey hair and.. a trench coat of sorts the suspect turns around and through the smoke I make out piercing vibrant blue eyes that match the vibrant flames. My eyes widen and my realization of who I’m looking at hits me similar to the metal bat that’s making contact with my head-.

That day when the agency got targeted by the League of villains.. There was smoke everywhere; they had bombed a quarter of the place while Bakugou was on a mission in another state. I was in the control room when it happened. I was working on helping Bakugou detonate a bomb, ironically..I didn’t remember much after that. When I finally came to and the smoke started to clear I caught a glimpse of him exactly like I did at the hotel. He had a wicked grin when he noticed I was awake.. I thought I heard him say “just wait”. It was such a short encounter it slipped my mind so easily I forgot the memory even existed until I saw his face again... I wake up with a sharp migraine as my eyes adjust. I notice blood dripping from somewhere.. I try to move and get this uncomfortable pain under my skin. As my eyes adjust I notice I’m in a dingy warehouse. It smells of mildew and dust. I turn my head and notice needles under my skin and blood dripping from where they are seethed into my skin. There's a single lamp swaying from the ceiling due to the cold draft. I’m bound to a wooden chair. There's a machine next to me huffing out air every few seconds. There are tubes that are connecting the machine to the needles under my skin… it’s pumping my blood.. It's silent otherwise until I hear a dry chuckle come from somewhere in the warehouse. Suddenly the man I saw before appears under the dim lighting. He smiles wickedly and sighs in what seems like satisfaction. “You’re finally awake” he says, still smiling, the strange staples? He has on his face straining to hold together. I don’t speak, instead I continue to stare at him as my forgotten memories come back to me. The patchy man hums as he gets closer to me. “I’ve been waiting for this moment you know.. the very second I would be able to catch you. I’ve been watching you for a while now” He pulls a chair over, placing it close to me he turns it backwards and sits. He just stares at me, the crevices of patchy skin starting to bleed from his wide smile. He sighs “Sorry about the needles, love. But I had to make sure you wouldn’t be going anywhere and Toga went a bit overboard when I said she could help…” He gets up and picks up a set of handcuffs from a tool box. “Ah, these should do the trick” he presses a button and they open, a bright blue light illuminates from them. He strolls over behind me to my rope tied wrist and places them on me. I can feel his breath against my neck. “These are quirk canceling cuffs… they also double as debinators so I suggest you try not to struggle too much or you’ll die.” He says ending the sentence with a chronically deceitful laugh. He starts to pull the needles from my skin and turns the machine off. “Why am I here?” I ask him calmly “Oh! She does speak!” He says sarcastically. “To be honest I was expecting you to be shitting your pants by now but I guess you’re a lot more level headed than you seem..” He says finally pulling the last needle from under my skin and sitting back in his chair “Well in any case I’ll tell you why I took you since there’s no sense in hiding it. I've been.. waiting for you. Ever since we first met..” He smiles darkly again and sighs. “What a glorious moment it was, don’t you agree?” “Do you remember what I told you that day? He asks rhetorically. When I noticed you leaving town I got a bit worried..but I was relieved to find you and even more relieved to see it seems like you’ve dumped that boom boom prick when I caught sight of you over here.. I was curious so I took you to ask, why?” He just looks at me like he just asked me what my favorite color is. “Oh c’mon.. you can tell me, sweets. Did that asshole hurt you?” “That’s not your business” I respond shortly. “So he did then?” He sucks his teeth. “Douche” he says looking off to the side at nothing in particular with an angry expression. His face shifts to a blank look and he sighs. “Well.. you’re with me now so we don’t have to worry about that shithead getting in our way anymore right, doll?”

[sedge-and-sanctuary]

Moon Four - Highsun

Sedgeclan has no deputy! Sedgeclan has no healthy medicine cats Coniferstar meets a pair of loners named Streak and Bolt. Streak has been badly wounded by another cat. Coniferstar offers them shelter, on the condition they take on clan names. Mated pair Harebolt and Snowstreak join the clan.

Harebolt- Female - 102 moons Former Loner Confident Lore Keeper & Great Teacher

Snowstreak - Female - 103 moons Former Loner Nervous Eloquent Speaker

The year has been unusually harsh; a hard, cold wind races down the open plain, kicking up drifts of dry, icy snow. Bolt peeks her head from their hollow, eyes squinted almost shut. The blowing snow cuts through her pelt like needles; slices the inside of her nose, as she tries to scent the sterile, freezing air. But the den at her back is over-warm; even half-outside, Bolt can feel the feverish heat of Streak's pelt. Even in the wind, she can smell the other molly’s sickness; a carrion-scent. Vulture-food.

Bolt glances back at her mate, huddled in a ball around her injured leg. Her mouth is open, panting, her green eyes clouded. “You need water,” Bolt says; a useless fact, if true. “I’ll be alright.” Streak’s voice is an awful rasp; almost swallowed up by the tearing, howling wind. “It’s– it’s foul out, Bolt, you can’t. I’ll be fine until the wind lets up.” “And how long ‘til then?” The wind gusts; Bolt shivers, pelt fluffed against the cold. From outside the burrow, someone says: “Well. It could be days, at this rate.” Bolt’s head snaps around, at the strange voice; a dark, marbled tom sits just a hare-leap away, watching her with cool, blue eyes. She bristles, automatically, baring her teeth– but the stranger seems unperturbed. “Peace,” he says, voice strangely high, and touched with an accent Bolt can’t place. “I believe we can help one another.” “We can help ourselves.” Bolt unsheathes her claws, heart pounding. She’s aware of every shift, in the den behind her; Streak slow and stiff with her injury. Helpless even to stand.  “Leave us alone. Or–” But the stranger only dips his head. “I’ll go,” he says, soothingly, “if that’s truly what you want. It’s only–” he scents the air, mouth opening to show sharp, even teeth. “I thought I smelled infection.” A shiver goes through Bolt’s fur, that has nothing at all to do with the cold– though the wind howls, still, all around them, as if set to tear her paws from the earth. “It’s just carrion. Our dinner. And we’re not sharing.” “Is that so.” The stranger studies her, for only a moment more; and then shrugs, seeming to buy her story. Relief buzzes up through Bolt’s stomach, like she’s eaten honeybees. “Well then. I suppose I should go.” And the stranger turns, as if to leave, stretching his hind legs, languidly. His claws flex sharp as thorns, just for a moment. “A shame,” he says, offhand. “I must have been wrong, about the signs.” Bolt frowns, but says nothing to encourage him; he doesn’t seem to need it, carrying on: “if you do see a cat named Bolt, struggling with her mate’s infection in this storm– tell them Coniferstar is searching for them. I believe they’re meant to join my clan– and I’ve been sent the knowledge to heal them.” Bolt freezes, The fur prickling along her spine. “How–” she says, softly. But the stranger is already leaving. His long, black-tipped tail swishes behind him, as he walks away, pace leisurely– unbothered, despite the terrible wind. Bolt swallows, her mouth dry as scoured stone. Behind her, Streak shivers– her teeth chatter, audibly, despite the feverish heat of her pelt. “Wait!" The stranger- Coniferstar?- pauses, and glances back over his shoulder. “You–” Bolt squares her shoulders. “What does that mean. Who sent you?” The strange tom purrs, and turns around. “Curious after all,” he says. “Well. I’m very glad you asked.”

[currebunz]

Ch.9 Reconcile and rest

Buy me a coffee

Parings: Reader x Vash & Wolfwood

The question held more weight than you had expected. Your throat felt dry and your heart dropped into your stomach after you said it. From the looks on their faces, you weren’t sure what to think. Nicholas had always been good at a poker face, but this time he wasn’t keeping up a facade. He looked confused, clearly he had no idea what you meant. But Vash was different, he looked like she had reopened a scar of his. He was almost paralyzed, how did you know that name? Did he slip up? He couldn’t have imagined Knives had said anything to you, or he hoped not.

“I don’t know who that is, needle noggin?” Nicholas turned to Vash.

“I….I don’t know that name either…” he said sadly.

You knew he was lying but you didn’t want to cause a scene right now. Getting out of here was our first priority, even if it made you upset. His face was sad, but it wasn’t confused. Vash couldn’t lie to you even if he wanted to.

“Forget it, let’s go,” you said.

Once again, they tried to find a way out. There was a loud crash as some of the ceiling gave way.

“Ahhh! It’s the ghosts!” Meryl’s scream echoed out. You followed the light and saw her covering her eyes.

“It’s called gravity-…would you look at that” Roberto waved to you.

Meryl moved her hands and her eyes lit up with relief.

“Seven! You’re okay!” she cheered.

Nicholas and Vash joined you, waving to her too. There was still the issue with how you would get up.

“Too bad none of us can fly,” Nicholas sighed.

“I’m sure we can find a way up,” Vash chuckled.

“We just need something to stand on” you said as you reached your hands up.

The ground under you shifted and suddenly all three of you were launched up through the hole. Nicholas grabbed your collar, pulling you to him as you landed on the sand. Vash landed next to you both. You shook the sand from your face and looked around for what had launched you all.

“W-what happened?” you asked.

Meryl and Roberto looked just as shocked as you did.

“You just flew out the hole!” Roberto exclaimed.

“D-Did you get ejected by something?” Meryl asked.

You weren’t sure what she meant, nothing had appeared under you. At least you didn’t think so.

“We didn’t do anything, right?” you waved your hand to Vash.

Suddenly, the sand kicked up and he was pushed by a wave of sand.

“Vash?!” you gasped.

“Hahaha! What was that?” Nicholas chuckled.

“Nico!” you turned to him.

A wave of sand pushed him over too.

“Wait, it’s you?” Roberto said in shock.

You looked at your hands, what was going on?! You put your arms to your side as the two men recovered. Vash quickly ran over to you.

“Take deep breaths, okay?” he said with a soft smile.

You nodded, trying to calm yourself down.

“W-what’s going on?” you asked him.

Vash gently took your hands in his, pointing them downward.

“I’m not sure, but if we calm down a bit I’m sure we can figure it out,” he said with a kind smile.

You looked into his eyes, doing your best to calm down.

“Okay” you said.

Nicholas walked over, giving Vash a glare.

“Hey needle-noggin, what do you know about this?” he asked.

“Huh? I’m just as lost as you are” Vash said with an awkward laugh.

“Yeah right” Nicholas grumbled.

Despite your condition, Roberto had brought up that the truck had begun working again. After what you had been through, you just wanted to get to a bed. You kept thinking about the dream you had seen when you were underground. It felt familiar but nothing about it stuck to you. Who was that woman? The truck hit a dune, causing a bump that knocked you out of your thoughts.

“Hey, space cadet. You alright?” Nicholas asked.

You frowned at him.

“I’m fine, just tired” you sighed.

“Well, don’t be too tired. We’re coming up on a town….and it doesn’t look too good” Roberto announced.

You leaned forward to peer ahead. There was a town, but it looked in bad shape. The closer the truck came, you could see most of the structures were barely sitting upright. Vash and Nicholas leaned forward too, smooshing their faces against yours as they tried to peek.

“Hey!” you yelped.

Fortunately, Meryl hit another dune, sending you all tumbling backward into the seat. You heard the other two groan as they hit the windows on the side.

“Everyone be careful, I don’t see anyone outside” Meryl warned.

As she drove into town, there wasn’t a soul outside. She parked the truck, allowing everyone to begin looking around. Vash and Nicholas tried the houses while you went with Meryl to look around. It wasn’t a ghost town, there were signs people were still living there. You figured they were hiding from something. The question was, from what? Vash had finally found an old man who had chosen a poor hiding place. He appeared shaken and fearful of something.

“Now you’ve gone and done it! It’s coming!” the man shrieked.

“What’s coming?” Vash asked.

You heard something moving fast, shifting sand like never before. The wind kicked up and something was approaching quickly, too quickly. Before you knew it, the sand had dispersed and something black had appeared. It moved too fast for you to see, grabbing the man and then launching itself into the air. You caught a glimpse of it but it just looked like swirling darkness to you.

“What is that?!” you gasped.

Vash and Nicholas chased after it, trying to get an aim at the thing without hurting the old man. It was too fast, darting from spot to spot erratically. Even you were unsure you could get a hit on it.

“What do we do? It’s moving too fast!” Meryl exclaimed.

The old man was still yelling a lot, giving you an idea. You found a metal pipe and hit it against a metal stand. The loud clang reverberated through the area loudly. The swirling mass of darkness stopped.

“Come here! I’m being really loud!” you shouted.

You had been successful in gaining its attention as the thing dropped the old man and headed in your direction. This time, Vash and Nicholas fired at it without restraint. Their bullets did nothing as the ball of darkness approached you. Even though you had acted on a whim, you weren’t running from it.

“Idiota! Move!” Nicholas shouted.

You balled up your hand into a fist, striking the ball as it reached you. The darkness dispersed, leaving nothing but smoke behind. It left you startled but you couldn’t find it anywhere. Meryl and Roberto were the first to approach you, the two appeared just as startled as you were.

“Are you okay?!” Meryl asked.

“I…I don’t feel different?” you weren’t sure how to respond.

Vash and Nicholas were upon you, both looking equally as panicked.

“What the hell was that?! You could’ve been killed!” Nicholas yelled.

You knew he was right, but you were already frustrated.

“And?! You did the same earlier!” you shouted at him.

“Hey, you two…” Vash tried to get between you both.

“Stay out of it!” you both yelled at him.

Vash put his hands up and backed away from you both. He could tell that he shouldn’t try and get between you both at the moment. Meryl and Roberto even backed up as you both continued.

“Well, at least I had a plan? What was yours? Punch it?” Nicholas argued.

You hesitated, swallowing your pride to answer him.

“I…I didn’t have a plan really…” you confessed.

The other three watching had their jaws opened in shock.

“I just was fed up and punched it, everything else sorted itself out in the end. So no big deal” you crossed your arms over your chest and glared at him.

“No big deal? What if you end up getting some kind of illness from that thing?!” Nicholas growled.

“I’ll handle it” you argued.

“No, I’ll handle it. You’ll be too sick to do anything or worse!” he yelled.

“What is up with you? It doesn’t matter what happens to me after the fact” you said.

“It matters to me dammit!” Nicholas growled.

You stumbled for a moment, your mind going blank. What did he say?

“Nico?” your voice had quieted down.

He realized what he had said, stiffening up and turning around.

“Let’s just find somewhere to rest, we’re all tired” he grumbled before leaving.

No one stopped him nor followed him. One by one, the townspeople came out of hiding to rejoice. Their cheers were static to you as your eyes stayed locked onto Nicholas’s back until you couldn’t see him anymore.

“Um, Seven?” Vash spoke softly to you.

Your eyes shifted to him and he smiled.

“Can I speak to you for a moment?” he asked.

“Sure…” you felt like you were running on autopilot as you followed Vash.

The two of you had found a quiet alley way to talk. Vash checked the area, making sure no one was eavesdropping. You were still in a daze, not paying attention to how careful he was being.

“Can I see your hand?” he asked.

“Yeah?” you held out both hands for him to see.

Vash turned them over, examining them intently. His brows furrowed, but there was no alarm on his face. Only worry.

“I see…” he mumbled.

“See what?” you asked.

“Oh, nothing. That’s the thing, it doesn’t seem like anything changed. But there has to be a reason for those strange powers and you being able to take that….thing” he explained.

“And?” you urged him to continue.

“You’ve been using energy…energy only plants can produce…” Vash said quietly.

You swallowed.

“Vash….I’m human” you said in a shaky voice.

“You are, you really are. Please, I didn’t mean to…” he stopped himself.

You hugged yourself, too much was happening too fast for your liking.

“Can I just get some rest? This is a lot” you confessed.

Vash flashed a warm smile, putting a hand on your shoulder.

“Of course you can, let’s head to the inn. We already got rooms” he agreed.

Vash escorted you to the Inn, but left you to the room that was given to you. That left you to assume he had his own this time or was staying with Nicholas. Either way, you were too tired to think about it. You stumbled into the room, falling on the bed as you thought about what Nicholas had said. It wasn’t like he hadn’t expressed concern over you before. It had just never been so bad that he argued with you like that.

‘Just forget it…’ you thought.

The door to your room opened and you sat up, who would come in without knocking? Your worry immediately went out the window when you saw Nicholas. You assumed he came back to yell at you some more or something.

“If it’s about earlier, I don’t want to talk about it” you said.

The floorboards creaked as he approached you, he didn’t say anything.

“Nico, I said I don’t want to talk about-” you felt the bed dip as he sat down.

“I’m sorry” he said gruffly.

You were surprised by his apology.

“Not just before, I’m sorry about everything. I should’ve told you more…” he trailed off.

“Nico, stop. I don’t need your apologies. I need you to just promise you won’t hide anything anymore” you said.

Nicholas sighed, turning to face you.

“I promise, no more secrets,” he smiled.

“Good, no more secrets” you smiled back.

Nicholas shifted, his smile faltering.

“Do you trust me?” he asked.

“What? Of course I do” you scoffed, what did he mean by that?

“Let me see your back then” he demanded.

“What?”

“You heard me”

You were caught off guard but you couldn’t think of any reason to deny him. You turned your back to him, doing as he said.

“Not like that” he sighed.

You jumped when you felt his hands on your back.

“I need to see your skin,” he said quietly.

You swallowed, unable to determine if he was being serious or this was another attempt at flirting.

“Are you trying to flirt with me again?” you asked.

“I wouldn’t- I mean, it’s not like that. Think of it as a physical examination” he said.

“You planning on being a doctor now?” you grinned.

“You’re really making it hard for me to not throw you out the window” Nicholas grumbled.

Now that you were sure he meant no teasing, you slowly began to remove your clothes to expose your back. You weren’t aware of anything being back there, so you were curious as to what he was going to do.

“You’ve been gathering petals, haven’t you?” he asked.

“Um, I think. Vash mentioned something like that before” you confessed.

You could hear Nicholas curse under his breath but you weren’t sure what he said.

“Is that a bad thing?” you asked.

“No….that’s part of our job” he confessed.

You were about to press him for more details but stopped when you felt his hand on your back. His fingers were tracing something, maybe a pattern or veins.

“Nico?” you called to him.

“Each time you find one, something changes. I don’t have all the answers and I won’t until this is all over. But I want you to know one thing” he began.

You held your breath, waiting to hear what he had to say.

“I won’t let anything happen to you when this is over” he swore.

The weight of his words hung heavy in your mind, the mystery and emotion behind them sunk your heart into your stomach. Never had Nicholas been so vulnerable with you.

“Okay….” was all you could say to him.

A moment passed before the door opened, startling you both. Vash stood there, holding a bag in his hands.

“S-Seven?!” he stammered and nearly dropped his bag.

“Vash?” you said.

He stood there, as if being caught in some embarrassing act.

“Did I….interrupt something?” he asked.

“Needle-noggin…” Nicholas growled.

You grabbed Nicholas before he could stand up.

“Who’s room is this Nico?” you asked.

He scowled, refusing to look at you.

“Nico” you said firmly.

“It’s our room okay?!” Nicholas confessed.

“Wait, I thought this was our room?” Vash asked.

Nicholas gritted his teeth.

“You put all three of us in one room?!” both you and Vash shouted.

Once you had a chance to explain what was going on, Vash shared what was in his bag.

“I bought some donuts, I thought you would like some” he smiled. “Thank you” you were glad he had thought of you.

Nicholas scowled, lighting a cigarette. He had moved to one of the chairs in the room. Vash still appeared tense, feeling like he had interrupted the two of you. But he couldn’t leave the room after seeing the markings on your back. He didn’t know what they meant, he didn’t get answers either. Although he was left in confusion, it was put at ease watching you enjoy the doughnuts.

“Why are you so against sharing a room with us?” Nicholas decided to address the elephant in the room.

Vash nearly choked on his doughnut.

“W-Why else? The bed isn’t exactly big enough for all of us…” Vash said.

Nicholas didn’t appear convinced, blowing smoke out from his mouth.

“Seven doesn’t seem to mind,” he pointed out.

“Oh I mind, I mind that no one asked if I was okay with it first” you glared at him.

Nicholas rolled his eyes and looked back at Vash. The latter froze, feeling Nicholas’s eyes on him. The two were quiet, making you uneasy.

“Nico, drop the single dad act. Vash isn’t that kind of person” you said.

“I’m not worried about you, this guy probably never even thought about making a move on you” Nicholas scoffed.

“I’m still here…” Vash said weakly.

“Then, what’s the deal?” you asked.

Nicholas whistled, turning his gaze to Vash.

“Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about, I just realized he thinks about you a lot more than you think about him~” Nicholas chuckled.

Vash’s face turned red, oh, he had been figured out. You pouted, tired of Nicholas’s cryptic talk.

“Well, I’m going to go check our water supply. You just….work on your old man speak or something” you sighed.

The moment you left the room and was out of earshot, Vash was on his hands and knees.

“Please don’t tell them!” he begged.

“Ah? Tell them what?” Nicholas sneered.

Vash couldn’t look him in the eye, keeping his forehead on the floor.

“Tell them…I touched myself to them….” he said quietly.

“Ah? Couldn’t hear you, what was that?” Nicholas’s amusement only skyrocketed from here.

Vash could tell he wasn’t going to get out of this easily.

“Oh come on, Wolfwood! Please?” he whined.

Nicholas put his cigarette out, a sadistic smile on his face.

“You know, that’s some real perverted stuff. I haven't even thought about doing that” he smirked.

“You don’t have to rub it in…” Vash sobbed.

Nicholas chuckled, leaning his head onto his palm as he towered over the kneeling Vash.

“I’m past that, I’m more interested in what you are going to try to do to my partner” he said.

“Huh?” Vash squeaked.

“What? You aren’t just going to pine over them until you die, are you?” Nicholas asked.

Vash stayed quiet, silent answer in his stead.

“El burro sabe mas que tu!” Nicholas cursed.

“Come again?” Vash asked.

“Donkeys know more than you, is this more of that ‘good will’ of yours?” Nicholas grumbled.

“I….I don’t deserve them…” Vash confessed.

“That’s not for you to decide and it’s not fair to them” Nicholas glared.

Vash sighed in defeat, of course he knew. But he couldn’t tell the whole truth, he wanted things to be better for you this time.

“It’s….complicated” he confessed.

“Yeah, well. I don’t care. I’m only concerned about Seven. If you are planning to just leave them high and dry, then I’ll kill you myself” Nicholas warned.

“And what about you?” Vash asked.

“Guh!” Nicholas choked, going stiff.

Vash had a knowing smile on his face.

“You love Seven, don’t you?” he asked.

Nicholas grabbed Vash by the collar and pulled him to stand up. Vash just smiled, not willing to back down either.

“You’re playing a dangerous game, needle-noggin…” Nicholas warned.

“The way you were talking made it sound like you were giving up too. I can’t stand by while someone important to me gets hurt” Vash said.

Nicholas glared at him, letting go of his collar.

“I ain’t giving up on them…I just…” Nicholas trailed off.

“Want them to be happy? We’re both being selfish here, but at least we can make Seven happy until it’s over….right?” Vash grinned.

But his smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“I’ll be sure to tell them this was all your idea” Nicholas scoffed.

Vash made a defeated sound, fumbling to try and argue his way out of it. But Nicholas gave him a pointed look and held his hand out.

“May the best man win,” he said.

“Wolfwood….” Vash said quietly.

……

“I’m not betting on this”

“Yeah, they’ll kill us if we do that”

[catcas22]

Unalloyed Epilogue, Part 1

So I basically have no plans for where this is going. It's basically just all of the characters emotionally decompressing after the events of Unalloyed. If you want fluff/fluff+angst without plot, you're in the right place. I'll be adding to this as inspiration strikes.

            “I cannot compel you to live, if you are determined otherwise. But you will not sacrifice yourself for my sake.”

            Malenia released Millicent’s hand and waited, alert to the slightest of sounds. She waited for a shift in the air, a rustle of clothing, anything that might indicate a move toward the needle. She heard only the crackling of the Haligtree’s dry leaves and the slow, shuddering breaths of someone trying to hold back tears.

            A sob cut through the silence, stifled just as abruptly.

            She reached out, hand hovering just short of where she knew Millicent to be. The girl had been so wary of her, nearly recoiling at every touch. Malenia moved slowly, leaving space for Millicent to pull away if she so desired. Her fingertips brushed the sharp angle of an elbow. Millicent offered no resistance when Malenia nudged her forward.

            Very carefully, she drew the girl -- her daughter -- into her embrace. Another sob, sharp and ragged. Malenia had scarce experience comforting people, but the words came easily enough. Here, at least, she knew what to say. She knew what she had longed to hear when she was Millicent’s age.

            “You are not a plague. Not a curse. You are my daughter, Millicent, and you are home.”

            Millicent’s arm remained limp at her side, but she leaned into the embrace, and she wept, sounding as if her heart were being torn from her chest with each sob. Malenia held her, silently rubbing her back until the sobs turned to quiet tears, and then to soft, shaky breathing.

            “Come with me.” She carefully turned Millicent away from the edge and back toward the Haligtree, keeping an arm around her shoulders. “The Rot is not a death sentence, not here. We can help you.”

***

            The short journey ended in Miquella’s study. She had allowed Malenia to lead her, too exhausted to question.

            As she slumped into the offered chair, Millicent vaguely recalled that she’d left her arm at the top of the Haligtree. For the moment, she couldn’t bring herself to care.

            The duty of certain death had evaporated, and with it the unbearable tension that had driven her onward since Ordina. Now she felt hollow, adrift in the void where she had once held an unshakeable purpose, however terrible it might have been.

            Miquella entered before she could think to gather herself. He took in her missing arm, the half-dried tears on her face. Golden eyes flooded with concern, asking questions she lacked the will to answer.

            “She is not a natural-born child.” Malenia’s words would have cut if not for the hand that still enveloped her shoulder, warm and heavy. “She tells me that she was formed from the Rot itself.”

            Miquella’s gaze darted from his sister back to Millicent. “You couldn’t be one of the kindred. If you were born entirely of Rot, my needle would have killed you.”

            “She carries a piece of our shared soul, cast off after the Battle of Aeonia.”

            Millicent forced her voice to rouse. “I didn’t lie to you,” she rasped, “at the Temple. I didn’t know what I was then.”

            He nodded slowly. She could already see his agile mind slotting the pieces together. “But you remembered after Ordina?”

            Malenia squeezed her shoulder. She could feel the pressure building in her chest once more, though she’d been sure she had no more tears to shed. “I’m sorry.”

            She couldn’t look at him. He wouldn’t be angry at her deception. He’d be hurt, and that would be worse.

            “Millicent, you could have told me.”

            “I wanted to, but...” The words choked off, and she sucked in a sharp breath. “I never meant to endanger the Haligtree, but I had to return what I had stolen from Malenia. I never thought I’d survive--”

            Talons clicked against the wooden floor. For the second time, she was enveloped in a warm embrace. Miquella’s arms wove around her, as if he could curl his lanky body into a protective cocoon.

            “Millicent...”

            Fresh tears poured down her cheeks. She felt sure that she’d wept more in the past hour than she had in her life, but now that she’d started she couldn’t seem to stop. How long they remained like that, Miquella’s heartbeat against her cheek and Malenia’s hand pressing reassuringly against her back, she neither knew nor cared. A spark of warmth ignited in the void, and for now that was enough.

            “Can she be helped?” Malenia’s soft query broke the silence. “The Rot is a parasite upon me, while she is at least partially formed of it. Would a cure for me be poison to her?”

            “The needle worked as intended,” he affirmed. “There is hope. She’s more herself than she is the Rot.”

            He leaned out of the embrace, just enough for Millicent to see his smile. “You didn’t entirely fool me, you know. I had my suspicions that we were all of a set.”

            Millicent smiled back, and for once it didn’t feel like a mask.

[faofinn]

DAY 13: forced to hurt a loved one

@febuwhump

This is a continuation of one of Shiv's favourite prompts from Whumptober. Might as well carry it on, right? Famous Last Words

The more Fao coughed, the more he was aware he wasn’t right. He hated it, hated that all of this had happened because of one selfish man who thought he knew best. The injury itself was a pain in of itself, but the situation just made it so much worse. He hated every second in resus, waiting for dhis CT to come back so Hars could bollock him about it before eventually doing something to fix it. He wasn’t looking forward to that either, but there was no getting out of it. At least it would get him home, eventually. 

Fao just couldn’t get comfortable, no matter what he did. Resus was loud and busy, Finn wouldn’t stop fussing, and he was tired. His chest hurt, breathing was a pain, and everyone kept coming to prod him or ask him questions. He knew in reality he wouldn’t be waiting long, but it felt like forever, and he hated it. They’d forced him onto oxygen, too, his sats having dropped below where they’d like them. He had to admit things were easier with the oxygen, but it made his nose and throat feel so dry and horrible, and set him off coughing more. 

Given the urgency of the situation, the CT came back quickly. Unfortunately for Fao, it showed a decently significant pneumothorax, and a couple of broken ribs. Harrison sighed as he read the report and scrolled through the images, the fear rising no matter how hard he tried to suppress it. Memories of Afghan, all those years ago, flooded him, threatening to overwhelm him. Mixed with his own admission, the fear, waking up in the ICU. Any other patient, any other person, and he’d be fine. This was his bread and butter, he loved working in resus, loved the more complicated procedures. But with Fao, he couldn’t think. 

He didn’t have time to mess around though. Fao didn’t have the time for him to mess around. He also couldn't afford for him to mess up, and the weight of that was so, so heavy on his mind. 

Jamie was around, much to Harrison’s relief, and he knew the other man would have his back: there wasn't another nurse he'd ever want. Despite Tai being at work, and Steve looking after the boys, he shot them both a text, a heads up for the all too obvious breakdown coming.

Of course, they hadn't replied before he had to go back, hoping the pain meds they'd given Fao had started to kick in for him. 

With everything set up and prepped, he checked with Fao. "Are you alright for me to numb your ribs up?"

The painkillers were half working, and had done enough to at least make him more comfortable in the way he was lying. They’d explained everything on the CT, so he knew what was coming, not that he liked it much. 

When Hars appeared by his bedside, he frowned. “You’re gonna do it?”

"Done it before, just for old times." He forced a joke, his smile not reaching his eyes.

“You gonna be okay?” 

"I'm fine, I'm the doctor, not the patient. Is Finn staying?"

“If he wants to.” Fao said. “Finn?”

He didn't massively fancy it, but he wasn't going to let Fao go through it alone. "I'm not gonna leave you."

“You don’t have to stay.” Fao said. “If it’s too much.”

"You have to go through it."

“Doesn’t mean you have to.”

"I've seen loads before. Do you want me to stay?" He asked, firmer than he'd intended.

Fao nodded. “You can give Hars pointers.”

"Sounds about right." Harrison murmured. "Let's get you comfortable as we can, and then I'll start local."

“Yeah. Don’t think I’m going to get any more comfortable, honestly.”

"I known it's shit." He murmured. 

Fao shifted a little. “Go for it, whatever you need to do.”

"Alright, just going to adjust you a little."

“Mmhmm.” Fao hummed. Whilst the pain relief had only partially got rid of the pain, it had definitely made him a bit woozy

"Just a sharp scratch, just the local." He murmured. Last time there had been no time for niceties, though it had only been a needle while he was conscious. They’d half knocked him out before they'd - he'd - started the chest drain. 

It stung, and made Fao’s eyes water, but he didn’t move. He just did his best to breathe, looking over at Finn and not at Harrison. He didn’t need any more pressure, and Fao needed some kind of grounding, to remind him this wasn’t like before. This wasn’t the first drain he’d had, and not the first since his accident, but that didn’t make it any easier. 

"That's it, you're doing really well. Keep breathing, Wol-Fao. You're doing great, Fao." Harrison murmured, trying to convince himself he had all the time in the world, that it wasn't as time critical as Fao bleeding out under him.

“Don’t want to stop doing that.” Fao joked weakly. “Don’t you stop either.” 

"You deserve better than that."

“If you keel over, Finn’ll have to do it.” 

Harrison felt a flare of protectiveness over Fao. Finn couldn't do it, he wouldn't do it right.

Fao pressed his lips together, trying to ignore the sting of the anaesthetic and let his mind wander a bit. 

“Ely’s going to kill me.” He mumbled. 

"She better not." Harrison said sharply. 

“And you’ll kill her.” 

"She's not undoing all the hard work."

“Mm, you can tell her that.”

"I will."

“Are you nearly done?” Fao asked impatiently, knowing full well he wasn’t. 

"I need to do it properly." He replied tersely.

"We're better off doing it properly the first time round, right Hars?" Jamie prompted, shooting a frown at the doctor. 

Fao frowned at the other voice. “Jamie, right?” He asked slowly. 

"Yeah, still me. Just making sure Harrison behaves himself." He teased.

“Make sure he’s okay.”

"I'm not the one in resus, am I?"

"We will, don't worry."

"I'm fine." Harrison paused to glare at Jamie. 

Fao managed a smile, looking at the nurse. “Thank you.”

"Pass me the tube?" Harrison muttered, ignoring Fao's comments. 

Jamie passed it across, humming. “There.”

He took it, and started to advance it, trying his best to clear his head. He didn’t miss the flinch of pain from Fao, and he hesitated, his ribs under his hands and his blood over his gloves.

Fao couldn’t help the flinch, trying his best not to fully squirm away from the pain as Harrison pushed the tube in. “Ow, fuck.” 

Finn bit his lip as Fao swore, gripping his brother’s hand tighter. He murmured softly to him, trying to help distract him, but he couldn’t help the worried glance at Harrison. 

He'd reached for some more local, but somehow fumbled. While he managed to grab the syringe filled and ready to go, the rest of the tray went clattering to the floor, echoing around resus. 

If the pain didn’t make Fao flinch properly, the clatter did. He didn’t see it, his head turned away from Harrison, but he startled away from the sound, unexpected and all too loud. 

"Fuck, I'm sorry Wolfie." There was a waver to Harrison’s voice. "I'm sorry."

Fao forced a breath, turning to look at Harrison the best he could in the position he was in. “No harm done.” He murmured. “You know what I’m like.”

"I should have been more careful."

Fao wanted to shrug, but couldn’t. “Jus’ focus on what you’re doing now.” He said, trying to be encouraging. 

"I was, but you were in pain and I couldn't just continue. You're aware this time."

"Yeah, and you'll just numb him up and he'll stop being a dickhead, and he'll be sorted." Finn said, glancing between the two. Harrison’s feelings were almost overwhelming, a confused mix of too much from across the ED bay.

“I’m okay.” Fao murmured. 

"Yeah, of course." Harrison continued. "I'm sorry."

“Can knock me out if you need.”

Harrison struggled to catch his breath, turning away so Finn couldn't see his struggle. He wasn’t so lucky with Jamie, but he narrowed his eyes and dared him to say anything. 

The pain was starting to settle now and Fao glanced back at Harrison, hating the look on his face. “Feels better now.” He murmured. 

"I'm glad. " He murmured, finishing up. The sutures didn't take much longer and soon the tube was secured. He undid the clamp, nausea curling in his stomach as he blood immediately began flooding out. 

He shoved the equipment down, gave Fao another check over and then headed out before he threw up or passed out.

The final bit of the tube going in was still sore, but Fao barely reacted. Soon enough everything was where it was supposed to be, breathing was easier, and Fao closed his eyes, pressing his head into the bed. He was so glad that was over.

[manicpixieirl]

june 12, 2023

I didn’t know what that start would look like- I’ve been waiting for a while. I moved somewhere new, that wasn’t it. I blew out 26 candles and quickly realized the fresh start wasn’t my birthday. The new year came and went without a single feeling of a fresh beginning.

And so I guess it’s today. May 12, 2023.

Today I saw a psychiatrist.

I was looking back on my old journals and blog posts from my adolescence and young-adulthood. Their collective onset has one thing in common-

“Today I saw a psychiatrist.”

Ah, a fresh start.

Which brings us here; sitting on some park bench in Portland with a dead vape, overlooking the highway and reminiscing over my old blog posts, wondering how to start a new one.

Upon reflecting, I realize that I have always felt things deeply (this is no shock to myself or anyone else around me). Over the past 2 and a half decades, I have always had a unique relationship to my emotions. I’m not sure when I realized that not everyone feels this way; not everyone is as aware of their feelings as they would be aware of walking around in wet socks. I just remember always being called sensitive, or reactive, or emotional.

Or bipolar.

But with that comes the gift of feeling the good feelings just as intensely as you feel the bad ones. Which isn’t always good, but it’s always a hell of a time.

Expression has always been as essential to me as breath. My hair is bright, my skin is covered in needle-driven color. Due to my tremendous, intrinsic need to express (in combination with an always available pen and journal), I can also see how deeply I have always felt, and absorbed, emotion. Thanks to the internet, a trusting nature, and the tendency to overshare from 2014 - present, so can basically everyone else in my life.

But this is different, this isn’t for the people in my life - this is for the other deep- feelers out there.

Welcome, you aren’t broken for having ebbs and flows. You also aren’t alone.

It turns out that since the last time since I created a blog post, a lot of shit has gone down - to put it mildly. (More accurately, a lot of shit has hit the fan, which technically means shit has gone up- since fans are on the ceiling, but I digress and I am just avoiding talking about being the walking archetype of a manic pixie dream girl).

I live 26 hours away now. The boy in my blog posts from 2016 is married to someone else, we are both a lot happier. I’m building a life with someone new.

I spent a few hours in jail a few years ago. I quit drinking. 5 trips around the sun now, and when the anniversary of my abstinence completed its fifth cycle, it felt like any other Monday. Not drinking has felt like coming up for air after a very, very long time below the ocean’s surface.

I don’t have time for a play by play- but like I said, shit’s gone down. (Up).

And today I saw a psychiatrist.

I told him all of it.

And then he prescribed me an antipsychotic.

I’m thinking about my feelings, the depths of them. Some nights they are so deep that I can dive in and swim for days. In a weird way, it’s nice to know there are oceans inside my mind. But I think I’ve become so used to getting lost in the maze of my illness that I’ve made a home out of a puzzle.

There are oceans in my mind - full of love and tears and mania and depression but they are my oceans, and I have been coming to these beaches for years.

Where will I go if they dry out?

[xenopoem]

Parameter "3:3871" — Thomas Huntington

Johnny Knocks got a smile like dogshit. He presses me out against his old Toyota’s boot. I see blood stains hidden behind a thick coat of dust. He breathes heavily as he runs his hands up my torso, frisking me for a fifth time. “Gunna try and back-out again, mate?” Every time he touches me I feel starbursts of pain across my torso. My monitor is crashing. The electrical signals are bleating. It’s trying to tell Johnny to stop shaking me. He’s not listening. Its metal interface clunks against the car, but beyond that I’m soft. I’m like a sack of sludge splashing against the glass. He shakes me so much that I can’t find my breath. I’m so sick I can’t think. I left this all too late. Johnny checks my pockets and rattles me again. I momentarily pass out. Just for a second. I see myself on a pier, about to jump in the water. I smell salt. See the blue sky. When I wake up I can’t help but cry out. Because I’m here. Up against Johnny Knock’s Tokota in the rain. He tells me to shut up. “You know why you’re a coward, mate? You backed out cos you think you're better than all this grizzly stuff and you came back because you remembered that you’re not. You should have let your body rot like a man. But you’re too scared to die. You're the worst of them. The fucken doggest of all the dogs.” He scoops me up on the pavement and walks me forward. Bloodless concrete. A red door. Johnny lets me in. As the door slams I’m glad It’s the last time I have to look at him—or at least the last time he looks at me. At the end of the hall I see my room. I get in. I’m alone. I want to sit, my body is killing me. My monitor is still screaming. I imagine the wires locked up in my chest, checking my vital signs and panicking. Little does it know, there’s no point anymore. It won’t be long until the treatment begins. People say there are three types of volunteers. Some come for a second chance, some come just to cross the frontier — but the most desperate, they come for the healthy flesh, and get there anyway they can. In the small room there’s nothing in it but a plastic tarp stretched out on the floor. I take a moment to send my mum a text message with trembling digits, leaning up against the bricks.

I’m sorry. I’m in. It all got too much. I couldn’t take the pain.

I lay my phone in the room's corner and wait. After five minutes I’ve already changed my mind, and when the door screeches open I bolt for it, but there’s no time. A man called Dr. Nostril seizes my collar and throws me to the ground. He must be nine-foot tall, his body obscured by a plastic cover. “Steady on,” he says, “you almost knocked the wind out of me, friend-o.” Behind him the door screams shut, and I beg. He waits until I run out of excuses. My mouth is too dry to speak. “Are you done?” I nod. “Good.” I try to let my body go stiff, but as the nurses enter I’m shaking again. They pin me down to the tarp with the tip of their steel capped boots. Dr Nostril stabs me in seven places. The tip of my knees. The top end of my pelvis. Two in my hips. One in my Adam's apple. The final injection slips through the cartilage where my nose meets my brow. His needle exits with the sound of a punctured ball. “In the mail you should have already received a booklet. A small green booklet about this size labeled ‘Parameters’.” He brandishes his hands. I’m not looking. He’s repeating the same spiel I heard the first time. “Have you read the material? You went over the documents we sent you?” I don’t answer. He applies rubber gloves and forces my eyes to his. Sharp torrents of fire behind a glass window. I’m floating on the floor. The injections. I’m losing my ability to move. He explains that what I read in the newspaper is a lie. The hosts are all willing to be a part of the process. They are like devotees, throwing themselves into the riptide of new life. They are excited about the new technology, curious about the new limits of mankind. Dr Nostril tells me about the circumstances of my host, I let my pulse overpower my senses. I don’t want to know. It’s surley fabricated, but lies or not, I don’t want to have any kind of story in my head. It will make it all impossible. I just want it to all be over. His nurses lay me out on the tarp. “Let’s begin…” I try to open my mouth, I want to remind him of my monitor but I can’t move my lips. The Doctor works quickly. Roughly. One eye on his cellphone. Bloody fingers stain the screen. He’s checking the time. I’m his last patient. He speaks aloud. Leaning over me. His fingers snap, and the nurses hold up different parts of my body. He complains about his back. He complains about his rent. He complains about the raids. He says they need to up security. Dr Nostril opens my skin on my left thigh, unearthing my muscles snicking my veins with the back of a blade, curved like a can opener.