#but I would never touch somebody else’s mobility aid
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boneless-mika · 1 year ago
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The for you tab once again reminding me that not only do abled people despise me but disabled people do too
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us3rnam3-r3dact3d · 3 days ago
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Since I'm having a bit of a hard time with my chronic pain as the weather gets colder, have some David with disabled!Angel headcanons bc that's what I need rn lol (this is entirely self indulgent and based on myself so yeah... this one's for me y'all...)
Angel used mobility aids when their pain gets bad, and they used to take them on first dates because one, it warded off the creeps, and two, it sussed out any ableist assholes right off the bat. The day that they met David was a good pain day, though, so he didn't meet them with the context of their mobility aid. They agonized over this perfect guy who was a touch of an asshole maybe not being cool with a disabled potential partner. They were so anxious about it that they would opt not to use their aids when they needed them for a while. But when they finally used their aids around him for the first time, he didn't bat an eye.
David keeps a small pharmacy worth of over the counter pain killers on his person at nearly all times. Angel stubbornly refuses to take pain killers until they absolutely have to. David keeps a close eye on Angel's little tells (their face pinching when they walk, their pace slowing down, their temper getting shorter), and quietly places a dose of pain killer in their hand the next time they have a drink.
David is the only person Angel will complain about their pain to. They like to put up a strong front and they're determined to never seem "weak" in front of the pack or the pack's allies (that's ridiculous and nobody would ever think, let alone say that, but it sticks in Angel's head). By the time that they get home at night, they usually have a lot of pent up feelings about it. They like to dramatically whine to David, knowing that he'll never judge them.
Angel actually loves their mobility aids. They resisted getting them for a long time, and when they did, the difference in their mobility was insane. Sometimes people look at the aids like Angel's trapped by them, but they maintain that they actually do so much to make their life easier.
David won't hear a single thing about Angel's disability from any-fucking-body. If anybody makes a sideways comment, asks too invasive questions, or otherwise attempts to make Angel feel uncomfortable, he is on it. The pack moves at Angel's pace, and naturally finds alternatives to things that are less accessible to Angel like stairs. David makes sure that places like fairs, theme parks, and museums are all accessible to Angel before they go.
Anyway, there are my self-indulgent thoughts. Hope somebody else liked it!!
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srawesleyghuewrites · 5 years ago
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Back To You - Chapter 7
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Series: Back To You(Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6)
For desktop users: masterlist
For mobile users: mobile masterlist
Pairing: Drake x MC(Anna Grey)
Faceclaim: Daniel di Tomasso as Drake Walker, Elizabeth Olsen as Anna Grey and Paul Wesley as King Liam
Book: The Royal Romance
Word Count: ~ 1700
Rating:  M for language
Prompt:
Drake and Anna finally face her decision and all the consequences that follow.
Author’s Note:
HEY EVERYBODY!!! I’VE MISSED YOU GUYS AND TUMBLR SOOOO MUCH IT’S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE... I’ve been away from tumblr for quite a while now, because I’ve been studying and writing like a mad woman but now along with THE ROYAL HEIR, I’M BACK!!!!!!!!!
And so is my good old Back To You fanfic, I’ve finished writing and now I’ll start posting again. It’s a lot of angst until the very end(which might me angst too???) and I hope you all like it, keep reading and comenting about that.
I’m really glad to be back and very excited to be a part of this wonderfull comunity agaaaain. So, grab your tissues and read along!
Let me know if you wanna be in or out of the tag list and I appreciate feedback!(And I’m not sure the tags are working so always check my blog for updates):
@debramcg1106 @simplyaiden-blog @lizeboredom @writtenbycandy @drakewalkerwhipped@naomisveil @nazarihoe @taliahunt @cocomaxley @mymandrake @the-everlasting-dream @honeylightningambition @walkerismychoice @drakewalkerstan@trueauthor @innerpostmentality  @liam-rhys @agent-zephyrkah  @her-imperial-hangman-s  @wolfsterrr @bluediamondsapphire @glorious-fandoms  @desperue @bellamystorms@journeytohomesworld @fanfictionrecommendations-com @liamxs-world @easyobsession @nikkis1983 @tacohead13 @findingdrake @beautifulobsessionforpink @jenp02cutie-blog  @confessionsofabrokegirl @mrsnazario1223 @trr-fangirl @littleredroseonthevalley@darley1101  @moodygrip @missevabean  @pilitella  @littlewonderbear  @queen-maximoff  @puppymaster101   @clarissafics  @boneandfur  @countrymusicandncis-blog  @damienazariostan   @mpbeaumont  @christopher-powell  @bella-ca @asprankle  @sue9659​  @american-duchess​   @parkerattano​  @ads0036  @personthatlovesshippings​   @eileendannie​
Disclaimer: The characters don’t belong to me(except for Anna Grey),  I just borrow them from Pixelberry!
The consequences are brutal
We never got it right
Playing and replaying old conversations
Overthinking every word and I hate it
'Cause it's not me ('cause it's not me)
Previously
“Liam proposed.”
“Oh…”
“An-n-nd I sa-aid no.”
The words are as blurry as her vision and Anna’s not sure why the tears are building up, maybe because that’s the first time she told this to someone or because she’s finally confessing just how deep her feelings for him go, either way her hands are starting to sweat. And the time it takes for him to express any reaction is torture, like there’s an ocean of possibilities hanging in those inches between them. She can see her future, their future being decided and it scares her every bone.
On the other side, Drake’s brain is still trying to make sense of what she just told him. Running through many different scenarios where this is a dream, a prank, if Anna is having a delusional moment or maybe if she’s really telling him the truth and she doesn’t wanna marry Liam, but Maxwell or Hana. He’s well aware of how everybody has fallen for her graces and though he doesn’t think anything happened between them, it’s way more possible than what he wishes for it to mean: that she’s not marrying Liam because she loves him and wants to be with him.
“What?”
She tries to recompose herself, breathing deep and letting the air leave her lungs along with all the hesitation from before. The decision was already made and now Anna has to own it, so she repeats the sentence in a firm tone, her green eyes filled with tears now have a gleam of confidence:
“Liam proposed to me, and I said no.”
He opens his mouth but nothing comes out. It doesn’t make any sense and he barely knows what to think, even less what to say. Anna’s already growing impatient, after everything she had to go in order to get this moment and when everything’s finally arranged Drake simply freezes. She takes a step closer to him, her hand coming up to caress his arm to get his attention and it works because his dark irises shift to her fingertips touching him. However he just stands there, looking at her little affectionate move until Grey finally breaks the silence and speaks again.
“It would be nice if you said something right about…” She pretends to check a clock on her wrist “ now.”
“Wh… why?”
“You know why.”
Another step towards him and now she’s standing so close he could easily wrap his arms around her, which is why she moved at all. There’s the hint of a smile on her lips, a provocative one, hope that this will answer his unfounded question. Why the hell would she say no to Liam and then come tell him? For Anna seems pretty obvious, meanwhile Drake struggles not to get distracted with her proximity. He needs her to tell him.
“I need you to tell me Grey.”
She takes his face in her hands, forcing his eyes to find hers, both of them with sparkly tears building up. From this close she can see the how tense he’s by the way his breathing catches every now and then and he can see the loving smile that takes place on her lips. Soon touching his in a gentle kiss.
“Because I love you.”
He doesn't have time to smile and answer because somebody knocks on the door and they both jump, wondering who could that be when the sweet voice of Hana is heard in a whisper:
“Anna, Liam is looking for you and he said it was important. Sorry to disturb.”
Hana hates the fact that he has to do this, but the worry in Liam’s voice and his commendatory tone left her no choice. Maybe he was just hurt from the rejection, or maybe it was something actually serious, anyway she wouldn’t risk it.
On the other side of the door Anna and Drake exchange a look. His is a sad one, like the moment they just lived escaped through his fingers too fast and there’s nothing he can do about it. Hers is an apologetic one, hope written all over her features as she takes one last look at him before opening the door to find not only Hana but Liam standing next to them.
Hana doesn't seem to notice the king right away, not understanding the shocked look in their eyes until a deep voice comes from behind her:
“I was just coming to tell Hana it wasn't so urgent, but I guess I'm too late.”
The words cut through the air like a sharp knife, hurting more than just one heart as the guilt appears in both Anna and Drake’s faces, and the pain in Liam’s. Finding them getting out of a bedroom together definitely wasn’t on his plans and it feels like a punch to the gut, though, with his many years of training if there’s one thing he’s learned is to recompose quickly.
“Well, I was waiting to explain to you how we’re going to present you officially as a Duchess but that can wait, for I know you two have other matters to discuss.”
“Our conversation can wait too Liam, don’t worry. I’ll leave you to it.”
Drake motions to leave, however the King stops him by putting a hand on his chest,  staring at his best friend’s eyes with a mix of anger and sorrow. He got the girl of his dreams, he’s been winning her heart during the moments Liam couldn’t be there, and as happy he wants to feel for them nothing could hurt so much as the way Anna’s still staring intently at Drake, not him.
“Please Drake, I didn’t intend to disturb your moment so do not let me. Lady Hana, shall we go? I’m afraid Maxwell might do something dangerous without any supervision around.”
Hana quickly nods, a relieved smile crossing her face as she interlaces her arm with Liam’s. They engage in a conversation about the young Beaumont and leave Anna and Drake alone together with a polite wave.
The second they cross the hallway, getting out of their sight, Anna closes the door behind her attracting Drake’s attention. He looks at her through the could of pain, guilt, shame since he knows Liam to well to realize how badly they’ve hurt him.
“Did you told him about us?”
“Yes. Would you prefer I lied?”
“I don’t know Grey. All I know is that your decision crushed him.”
He brings his hands to his face in a desperate act to calm himself down from the mess they made. Now that she’s not caressing him anymore and the memories of Liam’s devastated expression just a few moments ago keep coming to him, there’s no more comfort to linger on. And Anna’s not giving him anything until he’s done with the bullshit, which is why she answers in a rispid tone.
“I’m not here to talk about him.”
“How can we not? What else is there to talk about?”
“Us Drake! We have to talk about us.”
“But Liam…”
“Why? Why do you still fight this like hell? Why do you put him between us?”
“Grey…”
“Answer me.”
Her angry tone is evident and suddenly everything feels too big right now. That’s why he doesn’t even think before blurting out:
“I don’t put him between us, that was all you.”
“Oh you want to play that game huh? Yeah Drake, I was the one who got involved with the two of you at the same time and I was the one who made Liam fall in love with me but I said no, alright? I said no to him and took him out of the equation, because it wasn’t fair to anybody. And you’re the one who doesn’t let him go.”
Anna lets out a gasp and then a dry laugh, thinking about how stupid she’s for still being there trying to make him understand that they’re free to be together. She’s not sure that this is still what he wants, the thought makes her shake her head ‘no’ to stay there and she starts to walk away from him.
Until he stops her by holding her arm gently, Drake’s eyes finally facing hers after she told him ‘I love you’ and for a moment she believes everything will fall into place. Little did she know that Drake was still confused about the situation, about how anyone would ever reject Liam to be with him, he’s still looking for a hidden reason. And being tired of the subjectivity of their talk, he decides to go straight to the point:
“Why didn’t you say yes?”
“I already told you that Drake.”
Being Liam’s shadow is a habit as old as himself, and a very hard one to turn away from so Drake can’t help but compare everything about both of them and everytime he does that, someone chooses Liam over him. It’s the obvious choice, the only choice.
“But why? It doesn’t make sense. He wants to pamper you, take you on fancy romantic dates, be the perfect gentleman. Fuck, he wants to marry you Grey, to give you a castle, a title, a crown, a whole fucking kingdom. He wants to give you a future, he can give you a future. He wants to. Liam wants everything with you.”
“And you can’t… or you don’t want to?”
Drake doesn’t know the answer, he has no idea if he’s ready to give her a whole future or if the future he can give her will be enough. The little box in his pocket makes all the situation harder, after everything he still believes she would be happier with Liam. That she should be happier with Liam and that he’s just standing in the middle, being something to distract Grey from her real destiny and love.
To Anna, his silence is answer enough and she doesn’t wait the tears forming in her eyes to fall before unhooking her arm from his hand and walking away. From not just the moment, or the fight, or Drake, but from all what they could’ve been.
To be continued...
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augustwash1 · 4 years ago
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Effective Guidelines to Love Life More Hiding your Cell Phone
Is incredibly regular for people to use somebody else's phone and be the first time. In doing so , were seeking to replicate that initial feeling of independence a mobile phone delivers. A relative in another point out was in the hospital. It was a Sunday evening, and I have been invited into a party. Instead of being away having fun I was sitting in my own apartment, awaiting the phone to call, troubled for reports. It was an associate who lend me his cellphone to make certain I will understand any news as quickly as possible, and in addition, be able to go to the party. There was no reason for me personally to be connected to my landline. We look back again at that occasion, and in addition for wondering at exactly how gracious my pal was in loaning me his phone intended for the night (who would volunteer their mobile phone away nowadays? ), My spouse and i couldn’t stop being amazed at the freedom this cellphone gave me. I had been able to venture out and be social - while still staying accessible simultaneously. This is the kind of freedom mobile phones give. But today our phones are about a lot more than audio calls, and they are no more an optionally available possession. They are really integrated into existence in ways not really their designers thought possible. However screen period is the new sitting in a desk chair all day at a time, which I happen to agree is a poor thing. I have a standing table and it is been a life changer. Industry when we are electronically connected more than ever, yet feeling alot more detached than ever, we are being taught, even cautioned, to minimize the dependence on cellular phones. To actually limit our time in front of screens, to put the phone down and also have a real discussion with someone, face to face. Prevention of gadgets and screen time has become becoming a extravagance item; being able to disconnect from your phones to get an extended time period bestows a status that a lot of us can’t afford or obtain. Do it, our company is told, for your sanity in the event that not humanity, and also for your neck: regularly looking straight down at your mobile phone strains your lower back, which leads to all sort of physical distress. I’ve also experienced repeating stress affliction with my hand from a lot of scrolling, and I could trust my forearm sometimes is painful in a odd place if I’ve applied my cellphone for very long. However can be using each of our cell phones a lot really so bad? Does being addicted to the phones genuinely disconnect all of us from others as much we think? Are not there positive factors for the activities that occupy all of us while our company is clutched to our mobile phones? Whenever we use our phones, can there be something we are missing that individuals would be carrying out otherwise? We get a great deal out of using my own cell phone, therefore no, Really dont want that will put it straight down. The answer is to not be socially shamed into using my own cell phone significantly less. The answer is to make certain cellphone use is hard to kick and beneficial and amusing, not a distraction coming from boredom or perhaps isolating you from sociable or professional settings. It is crucial to be intentional and conscious of how youre using your cellphone, not if you’re utilizing it at all or perhaps too much. The minds are constantly operating, processing our many thoughts, worries, problems, plans. We require a thoughts from all this, but sometimes, life is not so very clear cut. Take those movies. I go, nearly exclusively, into a movie theater which has a strict zero phones, no texting policy. They will put your rear end out if you utilize a phone in the theater. Nevertheless when I was having a friend, in which theater, who was being forever texted by his better half. As it happens her mother was in critical wellness trouble. He wound up leaving the movie to arrange to go to the international airport. As great as an uninterrupted movie encounter is, this doesn’t overcome emergencies if they arise. Couple of experiences with another individual will be as close and developing as a shared meal. (Hang on, I’ll get to love-making in a small. ) If there was ever before a moment once you’d wish to connect with somebody else, immediately, eye to eye, devoid of distraction, it might be over a meals. But, much like almost everything, there could be exclusions. What if, over the course of the chat, you start discussing going on a trip together, or about countrywide parks, or about endangered species? Looking up photos showing your associate can add towards the talk. Successfully Googling a well known fact or reference point can help within your debate. Writing a social media post you found provocative, interesting or perhaps important can be a launching level of a conversation. In those occasions, anyone is not distancing your self or placing something among you and someone else, you are sharing. ver post Believe me, sharing can be a magnificent point. What I’m not fighting is that the two of you should be taking a look at Facebook, independently, without interesting with one another. What I am declaring is that your mobile phone can be a conduit, a guideline, a personal guide for source materials, to bring and aid your chat. In case the focus continues to be on the both of you, the phone is really a prop. If the focus is definitely centered on the device, the gadget is the central magnet and you have shed attachment. The previous is very good, these is not. Each of our phones are a device. How we choose to use this instrument is what give them their particular benefit. You might think the very last place you’d want cellphone distraction could be the bedroom. On the surface, two people resting in bed next to each other, every single with cellular phones in their hands, all but disregarding each other, sounds like one of the most depressing, heart and soul-hurting displays one can easily think of modern life. But could it be naturally poor? If I’m reading the New York Times, what does this matter in the event that I’m browsing the actual conventional paper or the digital version in the device? In the event that I’m examining email, exactly what does it matter if I have a laptop or cellphone? If I am mastering games or otherwise distracted, how much does it subject if I am browsing a book of mastering some game? And in fact, rarely we sometimes glamorize reading in bed jointly? I love studying books, and locate it kind of hot my own partner truly does too. Carrying out that during sex together, then simply talking about what we’re browsing, is a great intellectual turn-on. So with every due value to several investigators, in this case, the carrier is usually not the response. What is important here is certainly not the device by itself, yet the activity you are involved in, either together or independently. There could be togetherness when two people are on their phones, just like there is once reading catalogs. Usually the problem arises when utilization of a gadget supercedes something, or perhaps causes a break up if a point of attachment could otherwise arise. Might associated with your telephones from bed mean more sex? Maybe. Should likewise lead to someone getting out of bed faster in the day time, or perhaps sleeping sooner at night. Although we’re while having sex, did you know that through your phone, you can view movies? Or look at photographs of…. whatever it truly is that arouses you? Or work with software meant to foster dialog or activity with a intimate spouse? The device is a tool. It exists without inherent judgment, qualities or worth. What we label of it is up to us. Should i really need to tell you this? Obviously there are times when you should absolutely never touch your smartphone, starting, surely, with driving a vehicle. (Guilty as recharged: I frequently use the Roadmaps applications in the phone to help me acquire where Im going. It’s not so straightforward, is it? ) I think faith based services must be device-free areas and specific zones, as should particular spaces, like gym bathroom rooms, exactly where privacy needs to be respected. I have a distaste for those who use their phone at the health club; I don’t need to hear your business calls although I’m strength training. Also, I see plenty of people using exercise and workout software on their telephones, showing the issue, that just as before, these types of mini-computers inside our pockets happen to be what we make of them. Should you be one of those people who attend a concert and require saving video footage and shooting photographs the full time, I actually ask how much of that is necessary. Taking joy in the moment for yourself, not merely through a device, is highly advised. But…. have I at any time watched concert footage online taken by somebody else? Yes, I use. A few years ago I was by a golf ball game with my Dad. I have been in the habit of checking Tweets during video games to follow along with the city of followers and media to help boost my connection with the game, and to know more about that which was going on. And that’s great for when watching at home. However I had been there. I didn’t will need that community - I had been with 20, 000 people, and my father. So I set my phone in my bank. I missed the comments. I skipped the details of issues I didn’t see since live, you miss much more than you think.
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Yet I was in a position to soak in the surrounding. I had been able to talk to my Dad about what we thought would happen next. And later, at nighttime, when we brought up the game, we all reflected upon so many different occasions, details I might have overlooked had I looked at my own cellphone even more. So almost always there is a trade-off. You will come across moments when the mobile phone may distract you. That muddiness can be a awful thing (when you should be discussing with a loved one) or possibly a good thing (when you’re sad and alone and want something to cheer you up). It can disconnect you (when you avoid another person by diving into social media) or enable you to get together (if you look up a joke to see or employ your cellphone to turn on music to boogie to). Let us not hold our equipment responsible for your condition. A couple, lovers, let’s say, lying down in bed. In a single moment, they are both on their cell phones, lost within their own sides. In the next, their particular phones will be off, for the bedside table. What happens subsequent? Anything could happen. It’s up to the two people included. That’s true whether you may have your telephone in your hand or not. Of course, if you do, you also choose how to use your telephone: in a disconnecting way or possibly a sharing approach. If you’re sense bad or perhaps responsible about being with your mobile phone, guess what happens you should carry out. You really should trust your gut. Is essential to carry the person having the phone accountable, do not blame the product.
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lionalto70 · 4 years ago
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• Use a doorstop or a thin piece of wood to gently tear open a space in between the top of among the cars and truck's front-door home window structures as well as its body. Proceed slowly and be gentle to avoid harming the lorry. " I would very advise them to any person needing a mobile locksmith. Every locksmith has been background examined as well as is licensed as well as guaranteed where suitable. Your vehicle trick is made up of two parts-- the blade which is the component that enters into the ignition, and the bow which is the larger part you turn with your hand. If the bow of the trick has a plastic or rubber shell around it there is a likelihood you have a transponder trick. When the lock or lock does stop working, it's generally when you have belongings in your trunk.
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Transponder secret Issues.
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You probably currently understand where the ones in your auto are. The digital unlock button is generally situated on the chauffeur side door's panel and also one click on it will unlock all the doors simultaneously. Any locksmith needs to have the ability to give you an exact overall rate over the phone. After you obtained a couple of rates, have the least expensive locksmith come over. It's irritating, unanticipated, but most importantly-- it's pricey.
Is being a locksmith a good career?
Locksmithing is an excellent career choice for people who like to work with their hands and their brain. It's a flexible career that lends itself to both creativity and logic. If you like puzzles and problem-solving, you will thoroughly enjoy a career as a locksmith.
Keep in mind, you're utilizing improvised devices, so you need to play around with the different options till you locate the one your device can get to. Now you require to produce some space between the door and also the frame of the cars and truck that will enable you to move a device in and click the unlock button. You intend to create the minimum quantity of room that will certainly allow you to move the device easily within the car. Back in the day most cars can be easily opened with a slim jim-- a long, thin piece of steel you would certainly move right into the side of the door as well as bring up to involve the door's manual switch. As cars and truck securing mechanisms came to be more advanced, this method became harder and much less effective.
A competent locksmith can select a lock, you should be concerned if the individual pulls out a drill prior to trying to choose your lock. When you get in touch with a specialist the key word is high quality. There is a performance history of stability as well as also liability.
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townshade6 · 4 years ago
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There’s Nothing Wrong With Utilizing your Mobile Phone a Lot
Is very not uncommon for people to use another person's cell phone and to be our very first time. In doing so , we are trying to reproduce that first feeling of freedom a phone gives. A family member in another point out was in the hospital. It was a Sunday nighttime, and I have been invited into a party. Rather than being away having fun I had been sitting in my apartment, looking forward to the phone to call, restless for information. It was a pal who provide me his phone to be sure I will find out any information as quickly as possible, and in addition, be able to enroll in the get together. There was zero reason for me to be connected to my own landline. I look back at that illustration, and in addition in wondering at how gracious my friend was in financing me his phone for the night (who would offer their cellphone away today? ), My spouse and i couldn’t has stopped being amazed at the liberty this cellphone gave me. I was able to venture out and be interpersonal - whilst still being accessible as well. This is the kind of freedom cell phones make available. Currently our telephones are regarding far more than vocal communications, and they are no longer an optionally available possession. They can be integrated into existence in ways not really their makers thought. But screen period is the fresh sitting in a chair for hours at a time, which I happen to consent is a bad thing. I have a standing office and it’s been a life changer. In a time when we are digitally connected these days, yet feeling more unconnected than ever, we are being taught, even admonished, to lessen the dependence on cell phones. To limit our amount of time in front of screens, to put the telephone down and have a real dialogue with someone, in the flesh. Elimination of equipment and display time is currently becoming a luxury item; to be able to disconnect from our phones to get an extended period of time bestows a status that a lot of us can’t find the money for or achieve. Take action, we could told, for your sanity if perhaps not humankind, and also for your neck: constantly looking down at your cellphone strains your lower back, which leads to all type of physical pain. I’ve possibly experienced repeating stress symptoms with my fingers from a lot of scrolling, and i also could swear my forearm sometimes affects in a weird place if I’ve utilized my telephone for too much time. However is using the cell phones a lot really so bad? Does staying addicted to the phones genuinely disconnect all of us from other folks as much we believe? Aren’t there gains for the activities that consume us while were clutched to the smartphones? Whenever we use our phones, perhaps there is something we’re missing that we would be doing otherwise? I get a whole lot out of using my personal cell phone, and so no, Really dont want to set it straight down. The answer is never to be socially shamed in using my cell phone significantly less. The response is to ensure cell phone use is addictive and productive and entertaining, not only a distraction coming from boredom or perhaps isolating you from cultural or specialist settings. It is crucial to be intentional and aware about how youre using your phone, not whether you’re using it at all or too much. The minds will be constantly operating, processing our many thoughts, worries, concerns, plans. We really need a frenzymadness, desperation, hysteria, mania, insanity, delirium, derangement from all of it, but occasionally, life isn’t so obvious cut.
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Take those movies. My spouse and i go, almost exclusively, to a movie theater having a strict simply no phones, simply no texting plan. They will chuck your ass out if you utilize a mobile phone in the theater. Yet once I was which has a friend, too theater, who had been being endlessly texted by his wife. We now know her mother was in critical health problem. He wound up leaving the movie to organize to go to the airport. As wonderful as a continuous movie encounter is, that doesn’t overcome emergencies whenever they arise. Handful of experiences with another person happen to be as close and binding as a distributed meal. (Hang on, I can get to sexual in a minute. ) In the event that there was ever before a moment when ever you could wish to connect with other people, straight, eye to eye, with no distraction, it could be over a food. However, just like almost everything, there may be exclusions. Suppose, throughout the dialog, you start discussing taking a vacation together, or about national parks, or about decreasing in numbers species? Looking up pics to show your companion can add towards the conversation. Quickly Googling a well known fact or reference point can help within your argument. Showing a social media post you found attention grabbing, interesting or perhaps important can be quite a launching stage of a chat. In individuals moments, anyone is not distancing yourself or adding something in the middle you and someone else, you will be sharing. And sharing can be a beautiful thing. What Im not quarrelling is that the both of you should be looking at Facebook, individually, without interesting together. The things i am saying is that your device can be a conduit, a lead, a resource intended for source material, to add and help the chat. If the focus remains to be on the both of you, the phone is a prop. If the focus is definitely centered on the product, the device is an essential seduction and you’ve misplaced interconnection. The former is very good, the latter is certainly not. Each of our cell phones are a instrument. The ideal way all of us choose to use this device is exactly what give them their very own worth. You are likely to think the very last place you’d want cellphone interference would be the bedroom. On the face of it, two people lying down in bed up coming to each other, every single with cellular phones in their hands, all but disregarding each other, sounds like one of the most depressing, spirit-killing scenes one can easily think of modern lifestyle. However would it be naturally awful? If I am reading the newspaper, what does that matter in the event that I’m browsing the actual daily news or the online version in the smartphone? In the event that I’m checking out e-mail, how much does it matter if I have a laptop or telephone? If Im having fun with online games or else distracted, what does it subject if Im browsing an e book of playing a few game? And in the end, don’t we at times glamorize examining in bed with each other? I love reading books, in order to find it sort of hot my partner truly does too. Performing that while having sex together, after that talking about what we’re browsing, is a great intellectual turn-on. So with all due esteem to several investigators, in this case, the carrier is definitely not the message. What is important here is certainly not the gadget by itself, yet the activity you’re involved in, either collectively or independently. There can easily still be togetherness when two people are on all their telephones, just like there is when ever reading literature. The most really important problem arises when use of a phone eliminates something, or perhaps triggers a separation if a point of attachment will otherwise take place. Might associated with your phones from pickup bed mean more sex? Might be. It could likewise lead to an individual getting out of bed quicker in the day time, or sleeping sooner at nighttime. Although we are while having sex, did you know that through your smartphone, you can watch videos? Or perhaps look at pictures of…. whatever it can be that excites you? Or make use of software intended to foster discussion or activity with a intimate spouse? The phone is a instrument. It is present without inherent judgment, qualities or value. What we make of it is approximately us. Do I really need to let you know this? Obviously there are times when you must absolutely hardly ever touch the mobile phone, beginning, naturally, with driving a car. (Guilty as billed: I generally use the Roadmaps programs in the phone to aid me receive where I’m going. It isn’t really so simple, is it? ) I think faith based services needs to be device-free specific zones, as should particular spaces, just like gym bathtub rooms, exactly where privacy should be respected. Excellent distaste for people who use their very own phone at the health club; I don’t want to hear your business calls whilst I’m lifting weights. At the same time, I see a lot of people using workout and work out apps on their mobile phones, proving the issue, that once more, these mini-pc systems inside our pockets will be what we make of them. Should you be one of those individuals that attend a live show and insist upon recording video and shooting pictures the whole time, My spouse and i ask how a lot of that is necessary. Experiencing the moment in time for yourself, not simply through a unit, is highly advised. But…. include I ever watched live show footage online taken by somebody else? Yes, I have. Just a few years in the past I was by a field hockey game with my Dad. I’ve been in the habit of checking Facebook during game titles to follow along with the community of enthusiasts and media to help improve my experience of the game, and know more about the thing that was going on. And that’s ideal for when watching at home. Yet I had been there. I didn’t require that community - I had been with 20, 000 persons, and my Dad. Consequently I set my phone in my pocket. I overlooked the comments. I missed the details of points I didn’t see since live, you miss much more than you think. Nevertheless I was in a position to drench in the surrounding. I was able to talk to my Dad as to what we thought would happen subsequent. And later, through the night, when we mentioned the game, we reflected upon so many different moments, details I might have overlooked had We looked at my own phone even more. So there is always a trade off. You will discover moments when your phone can distract you. That muddiness can be a bad thing (when you should be speaking with a cherished one) or a good thing (when you’re sad and only and need something to cheer you up). It can detach you (when you steer clear of another person by simply diving in to social media) or provide you with together (if you look up a joke to share or work with your telephone to turn on music to party to). Let’s not keep our equipment responsible for the human condition. A couple, lovers, let us say, resting in bed. In a single moment, they are on their cell phones, lost inside their own sides. In the next, their very own phones are off, for the bedside table. What happens next? Anything can occur. It’s to the two people involved. That is authentic whether you have your mobile phone in your hand or perhaps not. And if you do, you also choose how to use your telephone: in a disconnecting way or possibly a sharing method. If you are feeling bad or perhaps responsible regarding being on your mobile phone, do you know what you should carry out. You would need to put your trust in your gut. Is important to support the person having the cellphone liable, usually do not blame the tool.
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trendingnewsb · 7 years ago
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‘He wasn’t happy until he had me all to himself’
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When two women wrote about how they had been “gaslighted” – made to question their sanity by an abusive partner – many readers, male and female, got in touch to share similar experiences. Here, three of them explain how they were left feeling utterly isolated.
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“I actually thought there was something wrong with my memory”
I moved from southern England to a small Scottish village to be with the love of my life, a handsome and charming man who made me feel more alive and special than I ever thought possible.
Just before I moved, a friend said he thought my boyfriend wouldn’t be happy until he had me living in the middle of nowhere, far away from anyone and all to himself. At the time I laughed it off but it turned out it couldn’t have been more true.
At first he was completely attentive. He worked away as a lorry driver but he called every morning, throughout the day and last thing at night. I thought this was really nice of him but I started to notice he was really ratty if I missed a call because I was in the bathroom or in a shop. He became more and more short-tempered when I told him I had begun to make friends, causing us to have arguments on the phone.
If I laughed at something on TV, he would get angry – he thought I was laughing at him
One day, after he had left for work, a woman from the village asked if I would like to go round to her house for some wine. I had a really nice evening. When I got home, my mobile had several missed calls and many text messages. I had left it behind and not thought about it. The text messages started off asking why I wasn’t answering the phone, and descended into calling me all sorts of horrible names, accusing me of being out with other men and so on. I couldn’t believe what I was reading – this had come out of nowhere. I sent him a text explaining where I had been. He immediately called and shouted at me for 10 minutes, not letting me speak.
These arguments would make me feel terrible and he would blame me for not being able to concentrate or sleep because he was worrying about me, and therefore a danger on the road. But then he would send lavish flowers and I would feel grateful he wasn’t angry with me any longer. I lived in a constant state of confusion and worry, never knowing what I had done to make him angry, and worried in case he had an accident.
Another time, when he was home, I was walking up the lane to our house when the farmer who owned the land stopped by. We leaned over the farm gate and had a long chat, looking out at the beautiful view. When I went into the house my boyfriend was sitting in a chair, staring at me. He kept denying there was something wrong, but he wouldn’t speak to me and kept glaring. Eventually he said he knew what had been going on all this time – I was making a fool of him and having an affair with the farmer! I couldn’t believe my ears, but he wouldn’t listen to me.
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I soon stopped visiting my friends in the village. I didn’t dare go out in the evenings because he would call the house phone to check where I was. He didn’t like me going out to work either, so I was pretty much stuck at home in the middle of nowhere. In some ways it was a relief because I didn’t have to pretend to people that all was well.
I spent the next nine years walking on eggshells, never knowing if I was doing the right thing or the wrong thing in his eyes. His ultimate punishment was to attempt suicide. He did this more than once after an argument, which completely destroyed my confidence in myself. I was a confident, independent person when we met, and by the time he eventually left me I was a shell.
He would also try to make me think I had gone mad by claiming I had said things that I knew I hadn’t.
Silly things, like I’d make spaghetti Bolognese and he’d accuse me of adding carrots just to upset him, even though I followed the same recipe every time. Or he would say I hadn’t cleaned a room when I had, and would clean it all over again.
Taken individually, those incidents seem stupid and trivial but he would be so convincing that I would start to question myself. I actually thought there was something wrong with my memory.
I couldn’t argue any more. I couldn’t get my brain to think of a good response because his arguments were completely irrational. It was easier to just agree. I became a quiet, dull person – a shadow of my former self.
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What is gaslighting?
The term comes from a 1938 stage play Gas Light in which a husband attempts to convince his wife and others that she is insane – when he dims the gas lights, he insists she’s imagining it
It is one tactic of coercive and controlling behaviour that aims to make a victim doubt themselves, their perception of events and even their own sanity, with devastating consequences, says Katie Ghose, chief executive of Women’s Aid
Techniques include calling into question the victim’s memory of an incident, trivialising a victim’s thoughts or feelings, accusing the victim of lying or making things up, denying things like promises that have been made, and mocking the victim for their “misconceptions”
Some of the signs to watch out for include: feeling confused, continually apologising to your partner, having trouble making simple decisions, and withholding information from friends and family so you don’t have to make excuses for your partner
Am I in an abusive relationship?
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I didn’t really look like myself either – he didn’t like me going to get a haircut because I had a male hairdresser, so I started cutting my own hair. I stopped wearing make-up or high heels. If I wore nice clothes, I was “dressing up” for somebody. I had to think about everything I did.
Before, I was confident, I was always happy, always laughing. If I laughed at something on TV, he would get angry – he thought I was laughing at him.
If he couldn’t have me, then nobody could – I was afraid he was going to kill us both
I trained myself not to be happy. Friends of mine have said, “How on Earth do you do that?” But it’s the only way to cope. If you don’t let yourself be happy, you can’t get too hurt or upset by what’s happening to you. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, looking back.
I made two failed attempts to leave. But mostly I felt like I’d made my bed with this person, and I had given up too much to be with him. I hoped it would all turn around and it would be OK – but it never was. It’s a bit like a dog that isn’t treated well – it stays loyal to the person that feeds him.
The day he told me we were splitting up I thought I had won the lottery but a few months later, he decided he wanted to get back together. When I refused, he tried to lure me back to the house. That was really quite scary. He was on a mission – if he couldn’t have me, then nobody could. I was afraid he was going to kill us both.
I spent about three years hiding from him, constantly moving house. I completely disappeared.
What I didn’t realise was that it would take years for me to get back to being myself and repair the damage he did to me.
I will never forgive him and I’m telling my story so that hopefully it might help somebody else.
Caroline, UK
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“As a man, I feel I have to keep quiet about it”
I’m glad that abuse like this is finally being taken much more seriously. Because although some of the other abuses I had suffered with my wife were long-lasting, the psychological abuse, especially in the form of gaslighting, was maybe the worst. It has taken me a lot of therapy to work through the pain.
I still look back at things that happened, even petty things like how she had hung up a picture in the main hallway of our apartment and when I commented on how nice it looked, she insisted it had been there for two weeks and I was stupid for not noticing it sooner. It was such an obvious place because it was hung right where the living room met the hallway. You could clearly see it from two parts of the apartment. I couldn’t believe I would have missed something so obvious for so long.
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This was the kind of thing that began happening more and more.
She would call me at work and say there was something wrong, that I had to come home – then, when I did, she would say I shouldn’t have left work and make me feel like I’d overreacted. I ended up losing a job over this.
I would plan to do things with friends, but in the lead-up she would create problems so I couldn’t go. Then she’d say: “Oh, weren’t you supposed to go out?”
I could no longer make any plans, big or small. I became afraid of the consequences of anything I did, because I didn’t want to be punished. I gained weight and got depressed, but still had this hopeless desire to make things work.
Sometimes things escalated and she became physical, but I had been raised to never hit a woman, so I didn’t fight back. I couldn’t see what good would come of it.
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Further help and resources
Freephone 24-hour UK National Domestic Violence Helpline: 0808 2000 247
Refuge
Respect: Help for male victims of domestic violence
Women’s Aid
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The situation came to a head when she threatened my life. We were having an argument while we were driving, and she purposely wrecked the car. Luckily our child was not with us at the time.
That was when I knew I had to get out.
Since I left the relationship there have been a few difficult things to deal with because I am a man.
The help for men who come out of abusive situations can be incredibly slim. When I was in the process of leaving my wife, there was no shelter assistance and I was frequently referred to homeless shelters. As I was also trying to take our very young child out of the situation with me, that was not an option. We ended up living with family in the end.
Then there is the social stigma. I feel I have to keep quiet about it because many people, even potential new partners, view the abuse as something that I, as a man, “should have done something about” – as though if I had just put my foot down, it all would have been fine. That sometimes feels like an extension of the abuse.
Dwayne, US
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“He stole everything from me”
Things started to go really wrong at the wedding. The vintage bus he had booked to transport our guests didn’t turn up – it had broken down, he said. In fact he had never paid for it. At the reception, I found out later, he asked our guests for cash, saying he still had things to pay for and he didn’t want to spoil my day.
We had met on a dating site a year earlier. He was a widower and told me he missed his child, who was living with his late wife’s family. I felt for him, he seemed like such a good guy. A contractor working in IT, he was generous and looked after me, taking on the boring little tasks of life, like sorting out the car insurance or my medication.
Soon I made a discovery that shocked me. His wife had not died a year before we met, like he’d told me, but just six weeks earlier. He said he was sorry. He had been unhappy and lonely. Somehow, I forgave him. That’s what marriage is about, right?
He felt like he was all alone in the world – and it was all my fault
He managed to alienate me from all my friends and colleagues. He said one of my friends made a pass at him, so we avoided her. Another friend was “taking advantage of me” so I should cut her off. Or maybe he didn’t feel like going out because he was feeling low, or he hadn’t been paid, so we would stay in.
I always ended up doing what he wanted, to try and make him happy. But it got to the point where no matter what I did, nothing would make him happy.
When he was offered an exciting new opportunity in Spain, I left my well-paid job and removal men packed up our belongings. But there were delays – payments kept not coming through, contracts weren’t honoured. Nothing was ever his fault. My redundancy money drained away.
I tried to help him sort his finances out, but every time I was due to meet an accountant or a solicitor, something happened: a mix-up, they were ill or they’d had an accident – a couple of them actually died, he said.
Nothing made any sense, I thought I was losing my mind. I was very depressed and considered killing myself. He did absolutely nothing to dissuade me. I realise now that if I had died, he would have had a payout from my pension. Was that the price he put on my life?
You may also be interested in:
Gaslighting: The ‘perfect’ romance that became a nightmare
Cheating and manipulation: Confessions of a gaslighter
Watch: How Gemma escaped with Dusty, her dog
He was often away for days at a time, taking my car. Summonses for unpaid parking tickets began to arrive in my name. Bailiffs knocked on the door, demanding payments for other unpaid bills – he had taken out credit cards in my name.
The car turned out not to be insured. When I confronted him, he said it was a mix-up, he had definitely paid. I tried to hide the car, but he found it. He said he was hurt by my lies: why had I not told him where it was parked?
He said he couldn’t talk to me any longer because I wasn’t on his side. He felt like he was all alone in the world – and it was all my fault.
One day, when he came back from one of his jaunts, he left his bag in the car. Inside, I found a letter from another woman. She wrote that she loved him, and was sorry that he was homeless.
Homeless? He had several homes – the one we were renting in Spain, and one here with his wife.
I walked back upstairs to find him waiting for me. He demanded his bag back. I said “No.” He twisted my arm and slammed me up against the wall. My dog put her ears back and growled at him, which she had never done before. He let me go.
Distraught, I took my dog and drove to my friend’s office in London. When she came out to meet me, she said: “You do realise you’re wearing your pyjamas, don’t you?”
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He disappeared six months ago. He has stolen everything from me. I lost my income, my credit rating, and for a short time, my sanity. I can’t even get my stuff back – I thought it had been shipped to Spain, but actually it’s been in storage and about to be auctioned off.
I can’t go back to my old life, I can’t face having to explain. And who would believe me? If they know him, they’ll say: “But he’s such a nice guy.”
His mother was surprised to hear from me – he told her I was in hospital in Germany
He was so clever at picking up on my weaknesses and my good nature. He destroyed me from the inside out – he made me doubt my own sanity.
When I went to the police they said: “Everybody lies, there’s nothing we can do about it.”
And the lies keep coming.
His mother was surprised to hear from me – he told her I was in hospital in Germany, following a suicide attempt. She had given him thousands of pounds to pay for my care.
When I tracked down one of his other women, she was horrified. He had told her I was his mentally unstable sister, who had a controlling husband. They were planning to move in together.
I don’t know where he is now but I fear he has found his next victim. I wish I could warn her, but nobody will listen.
Esther, UK
All names have been changed
Illustrations by Katie Horwich
Interviews by Vibeke Venema
Join the conversation – find us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube and Twitter.
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Read more: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-42708922
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calorieworkouts · 8 years ago
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11 iPhone Apps to Strength Train and Lift Smarter
Frankly, the scientific research behind getting muscle isn't extremely challenging, it mostly boils down to loading up the bar, and after that loading up the fork. That's not to say it doesn't take discipline and dedication. That's why any help we can obtain is valued. If the mathematics is so basic, why do so many health and fitness apps sport more features compared to a Japanese bathroom? All those gizmos and gizmos can be a lot more obstacle compared to help.
Greatist has assembled 11 of the most effective strength training apps to lift smarter (all at least readily available on apple iphone, Androids never are afraid, there are choices here, as well!) . These apps will assist anybody exercise right, eat much better, rest up, and also track the entire point, all on a mobile phone. Keep reading to discover out how!
Getting Stronger
Time in the fitness center ought to be time spent functioning, not futzing with a phone. Miss the complex apps with bunches of preloaded exercises by who-only-knows and stroll in the health club with a plan from a trustworthy source, and curtailed applications like:
Pumping Weight
Pumping Weight
Aside from being devastatingly good-looking, this straightforward person sports some awesome functions, like immediately taping remainder periods. That's handy for evaluating the intensity of a specific session (plus it fosters a beat-the-clock kind of emphasis). Pumping Weight does a superb work of recording as well as visually charting progression with everything from weights to periods, it isn't totally instinctive. Compromise 10 minutes discovering its ins-and-outs as well as Pumping Weight will certainly become an indispensable training tool. Details: Price: $2.99. Offered for iOS.
Gym Buddy
Gym Friend is ugly. Extremely ugly. It makes up for appearances with no-nonsense performance that's fantastic for major lifters. Take, for instance, the swipe-through user interface that makes monitoring supersets very simple, plus it is among the couple of apps that can manage multiple lifting weight loss programs. (Pro Idea: track greater than 150 exercises and also the application begins to lag, aggravatingly.) The preset timers just provide 30, 60, and 120 second pause but they do count to an audible boxing bell cue, which is embarrassingly motivational-- cue the Rocky montage! Details: Cost: $2.99. Offered for iOS.
Gym Hero
A lesson in simpleness, this application is bit greater than an electronic notebook. It could hold numerous programs as well as supports immediately to the internet, but for anything else-- timers, guideline, the capacity to track cardio-- look elsewhere. Details: Price: Free. Available for iOS.
StrongLifts 5x5
This is an intuitive and also well manufactureded app that automates the super-popular StrongLifts 5x5 program. It could find out suitable weights, tracking progress, as well as deloading people immediately when they plateau-- yet that's all it does. There's no space for tracking cardio or accessory work. Basically it's everything about consuming the '5 workout, 5 collection, 5 rep' Kool-Aid, or locate an additional journaling app (Health club Hero, for instance). Details: Price: Free. Readily available for iOS.
Digital Diets for Actual Life Muscles
Livestrong MyPlate Calorie Tracker
A huge component of toughness training, whether it be dropping fat or including muscle, is visiting boil down to just what goes right into the tank, but keeping nutrition on factor throughout the 160+ hours not invested grunting and grinding out reps could be tougher than the real exercise. Food journals can make keeping an eye on calorie (and also protein) intake significantly much easier. It's crucial, nonetheless, to pick a great one like these:
MyNetDiary
Powerful as well as simple, MyNetDiary addresses both biggest problems the trackers below have: It supplies a decent portfolio of foods offered offline, however MyNetDiary also includes accessibility to an online database that matches the very best resources out there. The app also includes a helpful barcode scanner (though it's truly just useful in the paid version), or even a constructed in "Before & After" function for taking selfies, which could seem silly, yet allow's be truthful-- vanity is a heck of a motivator. Details: Price: Free, or $3.99 for the Pro Variation (recommended). Readily available for iOS, Android, and Blackberry.
Tap & Track
The fact this person works offline is big (specifically in New York, where train rides are the perfect time to find out exactly what Apollo Ono's fave foods truly do to a diet). Tap & Track also permits macro targets (healthy protein, carbohydrates and also fat) for the day, which is a standard function most trackers lack. While it's extremely user-friendly, searching the data source can get aggravating (Pop Chips? No outcomes. Popchips? Oh, there we go!) specifically given that it's possibly somewhere in Touch & Track's well-equipped database. Details: Price: $3.99. Available for iOS.
Livestrong's MyPlate Calorie Tracker
Livestrong's substantial individual base makes its lineup of consumes among the most effective in the company (banh mí for lunch? BAM! There're 30 options where most trackers have none). Do not underestimate the importance of a good database, because actually, that is going to spend 5 mins getting in the breakdown by hand? That claimed, Livestrong's Achilles' heel is its reliance online. It might save room on phones, but also for anybody with sluggish (or no) service monitoring, using MyPlate can come to be a trying experience. Details: Price: $2.99. Readily available for iOS, Android, a lot of Blackberry devices (see app store for information), as well as Home window's Phone.
Make Sure to Rest
Sleep Cycle
Sleep, together with training intelligently as well as consuming well, is a vital cog in any kind of stamina strategy: get insufficient and also the deficiency will certainly present to in the fitness center. Plus it could cause overtraining. While these apps have even higher limitations compared to their costlier brethren, for people who persistantly lose out on the Zzz's they can be valuable to determine underlying problems so insomnia does not need to be taken resting (* moan *).
Sleep Cycle Alarm Clock
Sleep Cycle tries to wake customers throughout the lightest phases of their sleep cycle so they awake feeling more revitalized. To manage this feat the app has users select a timeframe in which they should rise, after that copulate their phones in the bed so it could use the accelerometer to feeling tossing as well as transforming in the evening. The application boasts that it was when the top paid application in 9 nations, which is a proof to how valuable many have found it. Generally, I located it seemed to always go off at the earliest possible moment. Details: Price: $0.99. Readily available for iOS.
EasyWakeup Pro
While largely interchangeable with the above app, this a little much more pricey choice additionally seemed to measure depth of rest a lot more dependably, which might be valuable to somebody who's attempting to comprehend their sleep patterns a lot better. Also with this added level of sensitivity, the alarm still appears to go off at the beginning of the designated wake-up window. Details: $4.99. Available for iOS.
Track Your Progress
Game Trac
Working out? Examine. Eating much better? Inspect. Relaxing? Inspect. Now all that's left is making certain all that effort is becoming genuine results. These apps will certainly aid chart an individual's development and also remain on top of those stamina training objectives (we might even bust a plateau or more).
fitnessMeter
For any person that's wanting to include strength for useful reasons, having the ability to determine exactly how weight space achievements translate right into real life gains, fitnessMeter's an awesome tool. Utilizing the phone's cam the application can instantly time self-destructions, sprints (though it's just useful if they're under 20 meters), and measure upright jump. While all of these would undoubtedly be a lot more accurately determined by a real-life individual, fitnessMeter frees you from the have to drag a close friend to the track every day. Details Price: $1.99. Readily available for iOS.
GameTrac
For any person that plays sports, this easy app is a terrific method to evaluate in-game performance. That might be a major aid in figuring out if all that time under the bar is paying off. GameTrac makes managing the statistics of someone, or a whole team (consisting of success and also losses), extremely simple-- it even supplies to populate teams utilizing contacts located on the phone. The majority of major sports come preloaded, however everyting from the online games to the actual states are adjustable. Just don't ignore a stat sheet's capability to warm up a pleasant video game of hoops. Details: Expense: Free. Offered for iOS.
Have you ever made use of an app or modern technology to boost your training routine? Any type of apps we missed out on? Share your encounter in the comments below.
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church39mcmanus-blog · 6 years ago
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justint88428-blog · 7 years ago
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AllBestArticles.com Post Marketing Internet site.
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victoria25q3-blog · 7 years ago
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Love Contents
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xottzot · 7 years ago
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2017-09(SEP)-12th-Tuesday (later)-AFTER SEEING_DELETING THAT FALSE LYING MESSAGES IN MY ACCOUNT. ) (edited later)
2017-09(SEP)-12th-Tuesday (later)-AFTER SEEING_DELETING THAT FALSE LYING MESSAGES IN MY ACCOUNT.
I was so incensed and upset about that shitty false message in my Tumblr blog that itself was trying to be made out by me, that I forgot to emntion a few things about WHY the message was abolutely NOT BY ME AT ALL.......
Firstly I DID mention how I accidently put in all my messages litle fragments of text that are mispelled and typos. (and that's because I am so forever tired and bloody well at the end of my tether in being alive without being with dear Fliss whom I love.)
But the BULLSHIT message that I DID NOT TYPE AT ALL OR SENT had OTHER STUFF in it that clearly showed (what little I saw of it), how it was utterly false and lying and NOT done by me.
I REALLY FEAR that dear Fliss (or someone she falsely puts far too much trust in), has read that or other false messages NOT done by me, and dear Fliss or others have assumed lies. (as if I was not in enough HELL)
I'm sorry about this message and my writing, because I am so VERY VERY tired. And I'm being constantly 'GOT AT'.
And in addition at the moment as I type this, poor dear Sam & Max are dancing all about the house and them wanting to jump back onto the bed, andor be fed from some bare bread that I've got sitting on the kitchen table that is to be my only food for much of today inside this VERY COLD hovel.
(YES, they DO each eat such stuff as bare bread). Fliss and I trained them since they were small puppies to accept the foods WE would offer them. And because they trust Fliss and I, they accept such food. - But BOTH dogs are going off all their foods. Including stuff they always happily ate, even their own dog food.
In that FALSE MESSAGE THIS MORNING, there WERE things in it that were talking about topics that are COMPLETELY WRONG, UTTERLY WRONG, AND HAVE NO CONNECTION TO REALITY, AND MY PERSONAL LIFE, AND FLISS'S PERSONAL LIFE. BUT IT WAS ALL BEING PASSED_OFF AS 'FACT'. -- This is a clear indication it was NOT done by me.
ANYONE who knows me would see the BULLSHIT straight away.
Nobody else, as far as I know, has any access to any of my accounts. - Except perhaps Fliss (Felicity Anne Carthew), and if she is doing anything then I have no knowledge of it at all. - And if any of her supposed 'friends', andor thugs, have access to her stuff, I have no idea about any of that either.
Whoever had created that message, seems to have farmed or trawled or datamined through my stuff and created a psuedo message of the psuedo stuff and then tried to pass it off as reality when it obvioulsy never was. -- All that was what alerted me to the fact that the message was done NOT BY ME.
I would NEVER lie and then live a lie.
All my life I've told the truth. And because I've done that, I've suffered GREATLY from doing that.
Believe me, the old adages about you suposedly alway telling the truth and you will be 'better' for it are shit, because I have seen and experienced since late 2015 that despite me always telling the truth about everything...I AM STILL SUFFERING FOR DOING SO AND AT AN EVER INCREASNG RATE OF EVER TELLING THE TRUTH. - SUFFERING....AND SO ARE the two dogs of dear Fliss and mine (Sam & Max) who are suffering incredibly because Fliss abandoned us so terribly.
But that message I saw this morning was spouting BULLSHIT info as if what it was purporting was all true.
For fucks sake....as if I am not in enough damned HELL without being with dear Fliss!
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I've tried to extract through my web browsers cache to retrieve that BULLSHIT message, but nothing works. Absolutely nothing. So I've had to give up. It's gone forever.
I wonder when the next one will appear because it seems as though it's a concerted effort to use against me for their own ends.
And YES, I HAVE been threatened before by an unknown. - I've written about that in my blog several times and also long ago.
And THAT crashed me close to suicide which has never left me.
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In Septmeber 2015, Fliss had a terrible breakdown, but nobody believes me. Fliss was doped-up on stolen painillers at the same time as overdoing on Stilnox sleeping pills...but nobody believes me.
And one night very late in bed, dear Sam and dear Max were asleep on the bed (as always as was normal), with her when she was having TERRIBLE NIGHTMARES. - When I went to go to bed, it ended up with her wetting uncontrollably all over the floor of several rooms and then her subsequently attacking me. - It was during all of that, that dear Sam and dear Max thought she was 'playing' and so they playfully jumped all over her in bed. But she lolled about in her drug-induced state and they kept jumping upon her, resulting in Fliss getting all manner of bruises from the heavy guard dogs.
In her deranged state, or because she was using it as an insane excuse to herself and others, she blamed ME for attacking her when that NEVER EVER happened at all. NOT AT ALL. (Fliss later recanted by voice but only to me by mobile phone) that she indeed had imagined it all, but once again she was trying to blame any and everything rather than face up the fact she was so heavily overdoing with those pills. And Stilnox is a world-die known clinical factor is creating tremendous hallucinations and delusions. She accepted that in part. -- We were reconciling. We were privately reconciling.
Fliss worried she needed AGAIN to 'get away' and sort herself out. And so we peacefully aranged in talking to keep in touch AGAIN because this was the SECOND TIME that dear Fliss had succumbed to her terrible woes in a a few years time.
We were very amicable. I WANTED to go to her and aid her, but she insisted on doing everything herself AGAIN. - Fliss is a terribly strong-willed person to the point of her own self-destruction rather than admit to anyone any 'weakness' within her.
And then she fled rigt across to the OTHER SIDE OF AUSTRALIA from here to be with her parents and family, who were totally ignorant of all of Fliss's crazy medical addictions, and her terrible tragedies in life here, and our terrible life trying to struggle to live. - Fliss ALWAYS lied to everyone about how good she was doing financially, personally, and in life. And Fliss felt TERRIBLE aboutlying about everything. It was yet another factor that was destroying her. Whilst was open and truthful, Fliss was concealed and lying, yet so very honest in so many other things and very earnest and true and sincere and loving. That was the side she wanted them to see. And it made her happy.
We were arranging to be together, to have a new life, way from all this HELL. But I think that dear Fliss had enormous pressures brought to bear upon her, both emotionally, financally, socially, and personally. And she suddenly became completely DIFFERENT person, not even wanting to talk to me in voice. And things got worse from there.
In dear Fliss's deranged mindset at the time, brought on by her medical conditions, she was spouting off her delusions to any and everybody that would listen and act for her, so she could get anything she wanted, including the love and suport of her own family that had been denied her (or so she thought) for so many many years. THAT was one of the things she anguished to me in absolute privacy for many years. And which I was always trying to repair, both overtly and secretly for her. (SO MUCH FOR ALL MY DEVOTION TO DEAR FLISS....SHE HAS WON AT THE EXPENSE OF ME!!!!)
Now.....dear Fliss (as far as I know because I have no contact with her or anyone), she now has everything she wants, or they think what she wants.
Because dear Fliss must have been pining for dear Sam & Max, suddenly Fliss was found a position 'volunatrily' employed for a dog refuge place in Tamworth. - Or was all that a lie too?
Was it a lie, like Fliss being given a job at a service station in New South Wales after leaving us all dead here in Western Australia? Fliss HATED working at the service stations here in Western Australia due to the terrible treatment she got from them. (REALLY BAD TREATMENT that contributed greatly to her mental and physcial breaksdowns (PLURAL!)) - But when Fliss got to News South Wales, did somebody, a social worker perhaps?, or somebody in authority in her over-controlling family, hear Fliss's 'history' and thought a service station job would be just the thing for her in New South Wales?
I am NOT sure of ANYTHING. All commuications with dear Fliss have been totally, utterly torn away from us, and a glib, anonymous messenger was smashed against me and who threatend me afterwards for trying to contact dear Fliss. - All this DESPITE dear Fliss and I previously communicating and arranging to get back together far away from this hellhole in Western Australia that crushed and hurt us both over 10 years or more that that NOBODY has any idea about or wants to ever acknowledge, no........Fliss was then made out to be some utterly false 'victim' of doomestic violence, when that was NEVER EVER the case. NEVER! - I sacrificed and did do much for dear Fliss on a daily and hourly basis. I sacrificed my sleep because I had to alwasy be watching over dear Fliss and stop her from suffering by her out of-control-sleep habits that threatened to have her suffocate in bed andor to have heart attacks. I was doing that for MANY MANY YEARS. And Fliss always sincerely thanked me for it all and relied upon me.
The REAL reasons for dear Fliss's woes were medical and mental, things that she and her family want NOBODY TO KNOW ABOUT...NOBODY.
And I fear that in Fliss's damaged mental state at the time then AFTER she had contacted me and assured me we'd be together again.....that her FAMILY pressured Fliss, or used other means, even professional medical means to kowtow her to their bidding. Fliss was ALWAYS a great embaresment for them all she told me ever since I knew her.
For all my devotions and love and everythng, suddenly I was smashed, falsley accused, threatend, And so from that moment onwards was I was made to suffer. And so it is I have been sufferng INCREDIBLY TERRIBLY since late 2015. So has poor Sam and poor Max been suffering.
After Fliss was in New South Wales, when that thug person intitially contacted me via email of course I was suspicious, but I was grasping at any contact to have with dear Fliss that I could. He was acting as a go-between he made out. - And at first he was cordial and polite and listened, and said the right things in email to me. But all of a sudden he turned upon me and viciously attacked me in emails. And anytime I tried to do anything, it was HIM that would suddenly jump in and attack me yet again and again.
First came those private email exchanges between myself and that male person who I did NOT know, who NEVER gave me his real name or ANY details at all of himself, but who kept claiming that he was 'talking for Fliss' because he said that 'Fliss didn't want to talk to me.'. (those were HIS words, NOT anything ever said by dear Fliss to me) beforehand or ever afterwards.
And anytime I would say, "NOBODY knows any of what I'm telling you. Ask Fliss if you do not believe me. But perhaps it's better you do not speak to her about these things because I'm so worried about her mental state of which NOBODY else knows about."
And then he supposedly told her everything I said in confidence!!!
I DO NOT KNOW AT ALL WHAT THAT THUG SAID TO DEAR FLISS OR THE LIES HE UTTERED.
And afterwards ALL communictions with dear Fliss were cut off from her end. Her emails to me had become extremely erratic, VERY short, and seemed to be as a show for others, not as any mormal conversation would be. - That THUG suposedly even PHYSICALLY had dear Fliss's mobile phone! - Anytime I tried to talk privately to dear Fliss, or talk to her via text-messaging, all I got was HIM giving me more threats, and goaded me to suicide.
Even me sending private email messages to Fliss, even me sending private messages in phone messages to Fliss, ALL WERE INTERCEPTED BY THAT THUG and used against me. The pleading, the outright heartspoken TRUTHS of mine were all utterly and cruelly ridiculed and spat back at me. And I was shouted at that I was a liar and I that should kill myself.
It was more than any person could handle.
And the very things that were smashed against me were the things that I had protected dear Fliss from for MANY MANY years by others!
From that moment in time onwards I crashed. I crashed in mind, body and spirit. - In September 2015, I had been physically actively preparing everything to go and join Fliss in New South Wales, and I had been doing the VERY things dear Fliss herself had been asking of me to do of all that. I had no idea where exactly I was going to go and join Fliss in our new life together far away from all the hells that had assailed us here in Western Australia. She was vague about that. And then I was left just rudderless and adrift. And so I myself had a terrible breakdown, despite not ever having one in my entire life.
Fliss herself was constantly having breakdowns in the latter years we were together brought on upon by her mental and medical conditions, but we at least were together and we worked through them together. She kept them secret from all others. - But EVERY TIME I would build dear Fliss back up, something else would come along and destroy her. And it was NEVER anything I was responsible for.
Dear Fliss WAS seeing a counsellor for her medical problems including her mental states, but as I witnessed for myself, Fliss was LYING to the counsellor and just stringing the counsellor along with LIES and anythng the counsellor expected to hear from Fliss. - I argued with Fliss about that. AND I WAS THEN ACCUSSED AS IF I WAS TRYING TO CONTROL DEAR FLISS AND MAKE HER DO UNJUST BIDDING !!!
NOBODY believes that about dear Fliss and the counsellor now, and if they do, they keep utterly silent about it all. The counsellor was going to end her career in the profession and would no longer be able to see dear Fliss. THAT was also a large factor in Fliss having a terrible breakdown and overdosing herself on prescription drugs. And which lead up the the terrible night in Septmber 2015 between Fliss and myself and Fliss stormed out in supposed fear for her life. She ran of and obtained assistance from POLICE and authorities, and dear FLISS LIED AND LIED. It had all been planned out for weeks if not months in advance by her it seems. She had been financially stealing a LOT. And all that added to the stresses of everything.
And so when she took off, I was left destitute, but moreso, I was left utterly devastated, but I was always constantly trying to get us back together because I love Fliss so very very dearly and truly. STILL LOVE YOU DEAR FLISS.
I'm finding all this VERY emotional to talk about.
I tell the truth and nobody wants to believe me or help with Fliss and I.
I'm going to stop now this message post now.
I'm going to eat some bare plain bread and go to bed. Not to sleep because that is impossible. I am denied sleep.
I constantly have MANY dreams of death and dying and suicide. It fills me up all day and night.
I feel so terribly utterly betrayed and falsely accused and made to suffer.
All the VERY things that I helped Fliss to overcome have been smashed upon me.
--------------------------------
I fear...REALLY fear.....that poor dear Fliss has also been subject to such shit. And that perhaps is why she has kept us apart. - EVERYONE...and I do mean EVERYONE.....I have talked to just cannot believe how dear Fliss refuses to talk to me at all. And that includes professional people, and friends of Fliss, and all manner of people. - NOBODY can figure out what the hell is going on.
Add all THAT HELL to the HELL that is forever going on around this hellhole.......and you can see I am in HELL........
West Australian POLICE arrested somebody or somebodies from the CRIMINAL HOUSEHOLD today not long after midday noon and carted them away today. Whilst they were doing that, the POLICE were being harangued by one of the CRIMINALS and attempted to stop what the POLICE were doing.
P.--Tuesday-12-September-2017---I love you Fliss and want to be with you. -- And nobody has ANY idea of the HELL I am in or cares. I love YOU Fliss, Felicty Ann Carthew of New South Wales, Australia. I ALWAYS HAVE. I NEVER GAVE UP ON YOU. I SACRIFICED SO MUCH FOR YOU, EVERYTHING I COULD. I defended you so MUCH from SO MANY even when you were totally unaware I was doing so. - I NEED YOU DEAR FLISS. I NEED YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER IN MY LIFE....TRULY. - My dear deceased much-loved gentle honest mother who I tried and did tell you some about (but I could only tell you a very tiny part of it all in a very tiny short space of time in great hurry and personal terrible anguish), she would be aghast at how I am being treated. - I LOVE YOU FLISS AND WANT TO BE WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
--RED--
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Daily Income Method Review and Bonus
Great Overview When It Involves Internet Daily Income Method
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