#but I will say that I have a professional full star reading saved on my phone done by a friend

[that-ineffable-devil]

Edwin: *bitchily but academically expresses that astrology is bullshit*

Monty: Capricorn?

Me: Fuck don't @ me like this damn

[fibula-rasa]

Cosplay the Classics: Nazimova in Salomé (1922)—Part 1

My cosplay of Nazimova as Salomé

The Importance of Being Peter: Nazimova’s Take on Wilde

With over two decades of professional acting experience behind her (six on the “shadow stage” of silent cinema), Alla Nazimova went independent. She was one of the highest paid stars in Hollywood at the start of 1922 when her contract with Metro ended. Almost exclusively using her own savings, Nazimova founded a new production company and immediately got to work on two films that reflected both a deep understanding of her own fan base and a faith in the American filmgoer’s appreciation for art.

Discourse around these films and their productions that have emerged in the century since their release are often peppered with over-simplifications or a lack of perspective. Focus is understandably placed on Salomé, as her first project, A Doll’s House (1922), has not survived. In part one of this series, I plan to contextualize Nazimova’s decision to commit Wilde’s drama to celluloid and examine the details of the adaptation. Then, in part two, I will cover how Salomé (and A Doll’s House) fits into the industry trends and the emergent studio system in the early 1920s.

While the full essay and more photos are available below the jump, you may find it easier to read (formatting-wise) on the wordpress site. Either way, I hope you enjoy the read!

Wilde’s Salomé: The Basics

Salomé was a one-act drama written by Oscar Wilde. In a creative challenge to himself, Salomé was one of Wilde’s first plays and he chose to write in French, which he did not have as complete a mastery of as of English. Wilde was directly inspired by the Flaubert story “Herodias,” which was, in turn, inspired by the short story which appears twice in the New Testament. The play was later translated into English and published with illustrations by artist Aubrey Beardsley. Wilde’s play was the basis of the opera of the same name by Richard Strauss. While both the opera and the play had been staged numerous times across Europe and in New York before Nazimova’s adaptation, Strauss’ opera was the main reference point for the story in the popular imagination of the time. The success of Strauss’ opera led to the popularization of the Dance of the Seven Veils and the accepted interpretation of the character as a classic femme fatale.

My cosplay of Nazimova as Salomé

Nazimova’s Salomé: The Basics

When Nazimova announced her production of Salomé, she did so assured that she and Natacha Rambova, her art director, had a unique and creatively compelling interpretation of the story to warrant adaptation. Nazimova was not only the star and producer of Salomé, she adapted it from its source herself under her pen name Peter M. Winters. (Cheekily, contemporary interviews and profiles joke that “Peter” is one of her common nicknames.) Charles Bryant, credited as director, was as much the director of the film as he was Nazimova’s husband, which is to say, he is not known to have contributed much at all. It’s now accepted fact that Bryant acted as a professional beard (Bryant and Nazimova were also never legally married). The choice to credit Bryant was to offset the heat Nazimova was getting in the press at the time for “taking on too much.” Having Bryant’s name in the credits was a protective measure. Charles Van Enger was a talented, up-and-coming cinematographer who had been recommended to Nazimova following the inadequate cinematography of her Metro films.

Rambova was in charge of the art direction, set designs, costumes, and makeup. Nazimova and Rambova had become close artistic collaborators after Nazimova hired Rambova to design the fantasy sequence for her film Billions (1920, presumed lost). [You can learn more about Rambova’s career here.] Both women valued their work above all else. Both were convinced that film could be art. Both had the gumption to believe that they could make a lasting mark on cinema’s recognition as a legitimate medium of artistic expression.* (Spoiler: even though Salomé was not an unqualified box-office success, they were right.)

Photo of the Salomé crew from Exhibitors Herald, 29 April 1922. Original caption: Nazimova ordered this picture taken that she might be reminded of the real pleasure encountered in every stage of the production of “Salome.” Top, left to right: Monroe Bennett, laboratory; Charles Bryant, director; Mildred Early, secretary; John DePalma, assistant director. Second row: Sam Zimbalist, cutter; Natacha Rambova, art director; Charles J. Van Enger, cameraman; the star; R. W. McFarland, manager. Front row: Neal Jack, electrician; Paul Ivano, cameraman; Lewis Wilson, cameraman.

Nazimova’s independence was at least partly spurred on by feeling creatively bereft from her work at Metro. In a 1926 interview with Adela Rogers St. Johns, Nazimova said:

“You asked me why I made ‘Salome.’ Well—’Salome’ was a purgative. […] It seems impossible now that I should ever have been asked to play such parts as ‘The Heart of a Child’ and ‘Billions.’ But I was. And instead of saying, ‘No. I will not play such trash. I will not play roles so wholely [sic] unsuited to me in every way,’ I went on and played them because of my contract, and they ruined me. “WORSE than that, they [made] me sick with myself. So I did ‘Salome’ as a purgative. I wanted something so different, so fanciful, so artistic, that it would take the taste out of my mouth. ‘Salome’ was my protest against cheap realism. Maybe it was a mistake. But—I had to do it. It was not a mistake for me, myself.”

Given that Nazimova now had full creative freedom, outside of the confines of the Hollywood film factory, why were A Doll’s House and Salomé the first works she gravitated towards?

Initially, Nazimova had conceived of a “repertoire” concept for her productions: one shorter production (A Doll’s House) and one feature-length production (Salomé), which could be distributed and exhibited together. Once production was underway for ADH, Nazimova instead chose to make it a feature. The reasons for this decision that I found in contemporary sources are purely creative, but I don’t think it’s too much of a presumption that this may have been a financial choice, as profits from ADH (which unfortunately wouldn’t materialize—more on that in part two!) could have been cycled into Salomé’s production.

Ibsen was not popular source material for the silent screen, but Nazimova’s name and career was forever tied to the playwright as she is considered the actress who brought Ibsen to the US. (Minnie Maddern Fiske starred in a production of Hedda Gabbler in the US before Nazimova, however it failed to raise the profile of the writer.) Nazimova’s stage productions of Ibsen’s work proved that there was an audience for it in the US—both in New York and on tour. Superficially, ADH might seem like a risky proposition, but Nazimova had good reason to believe it had both artistic and box office potential. (Again, I’ll delve into why it might not have found its audience in part two.)

Nazimova as Nora in A Doll’s House

Though ADH is now lost, we know from surviving materials that Nazimova understood that by 1922 The New Woman archetype was already becoming passé to the post-war/post-pandemic generation of young women. Nazimova endeavored to translate the play in a way that would resonate with 1920s American womanhood. (How well she succeeded is lost to time unless we are lucky enough to recover a copy of the film.) Likewise, Nazimova approached her adaptation of Salomé with a keen eye for the concerns of modern independent women.

——— ——— ———

*Incidentally, both women also had a personal connection to Wilde. Nazimova was a close friend and colleague of Elizabeth Marbury, who worked as Wilde’s agent. Rambova spent summers at her aunt’s (Elsie de Wolfe) villa in France where she lived with her longtime partner, Marbury.

My cosplay of Nazimova as Salomé

The Adolescence of Salome

In the decade following the end of the First World War, there was a great cultural shift for women in America, who experienced and pursued greater independence in society—particularly young and/or unmarried women. This quality was emblematized in the Flappers and the Jazz Babies, but even women who didn’t participate in these subcultures lived lifestyles removed from “home and family” ideals of the past. The lifestyle change was mirrored aesthetically. As Frederick Lewis Allen describes in Only Yesterday: An Informal History of the 1920s:

“These changes in fashion—the short skirt, the boyish form, the straight, long-waisted dresses, the frank use of paint—were signs of a real change in the American feminine ideal (as well, perhaps, as in men’s idea of what was the feminine ideal). […] the quest of slenderness, the flattening of the breasts, the vogue of short skirts (even when short skirts still suggested the appearance of a little girl), the juvenile effect of the long waist,—all were signs that, consciously or unconsciously, the women of this decade worshiped not merely youth, but unripened youth […] Youth was their pattern, but not youthful innocence: the adolescent whom they imitated was a hard-boiled adolescent, who thought not in terms of romantic love, but in terms of sex, and who made herself desirable not by that sly art that conceals art, but frankly and openly.”*

Allen’s summary of youthful womanhood in the 1920s resounds so clearly in the character design and performance of Nazimova’s Salomé, it’s apparent that she and Rambova were thoroughly informed by contemporary trends around young/independent women. Belén Ruiz Garrido puts it succinctly in her great essay on the film “Besare tu boca, Iokanaan. Arte y experiencia cinematografica en Salomé de Alla Nazimova:”

“Las concomitancias con la flapper o la it girl de los felices años veinte son evidentes. Se muestra mimosa, pero su seducción es como un juego de niña. / The similarities with the flapper or the it girl of the roaring twenties are obvious. She performs affection, but her seduction is like child’s play.” (translation mine)

Nazimova was also fully conscious that her fanbase was predominantly female and that she held significant appeal for younger women. From the moment she signed her first American theatrical contract with Lee Shubert, Nazimova’s status as a queer idol was already being established.

“The women… were enthusiastic about [Nazimova]… [At the hotel, the] ladies’ entrance was always crowded with women waiting for her to return from the theatre. It is much better that she should be exclusive and meet no one if possible. They regard her as a mystery. And there are other damned good reasons besides this one.”  – citation: A. H. Canby to Lee Shubert, December 29, 1908**

While women, particularly middle-class women, were emerging as a prominent consumer group in the US, Nazimova’s popularity peaked on stage and on screen. Arriving in Hollywood, Nazimova also continued her trend of surrounding herself socially and professionally with other queer women. Profiles and interviews of Nazimova in the Hollywood press often contained coded language about her queerness as a wink and nudge, usually but not always accompanied by mention of her “husband” Charles Bryant.

This well-developed understanding of her primary fanbase led her to break from popular presentations of the character as an embodiment of monstrous feminine sensuality. Instead, Nazimova chose to present the character as an adolescent. While Nazimova was the first to put this read on the character on film, Marcella Craft chose an adolescent interpretation in a production Strauss’ opera in Munich and Hedwig Reicher was a teenager when she assayed the role and played it accordingly (also in Germany). (Maybe not insignificantly, Reicher was also working in Hollywood at the time of Salomé’s production.)***

This is the American pop culture landscape we’re talking about here, so of course women’s independence was rapidly codified for capitalization. Young women were moralized at for not conforming to traditional gender roles while simultaneously being framed as sexually desirable in order to sell consumer goods (including motion pictures!). The American way. It’s hard to not see social commentary in Nazimova’s reworking of this icon of wanton femininity for a new generation.

This isn’t to suggest that Nazimova’s Salomé glorifies the character, but rather that making Salomé a teen adds layers of complexity to the production. Considering it in conversation with her predecessors, Salomé isn’t even named in the New Testament stories. Flaubert built out the character with 19th century concerns in mind (though his story is more about Herod & Herodias) and Wilde shifted even more focus to Salomé. Nazimova continued that trend with her version of Salomé—an impetuous child too young and ill-equipped to constructively deal with the horrible environment she was brought up in. (Might that resonate with a generation of young people disillusioned by a World War and a pandemic?)

As Nazimova/Peter wrote in the opening intertitles to the film:

“It is at this point that the drama opens, revealing Salome who yet remains an uncontaminated blossom in a wilderness of evil.

“Though still innocent, Salome is a true daughter of her day, heiress to its passions and its cruelties. She kills the thing she loves; she loves the thing she kills, yet in her soul there shines the glimmer of the Light and she sets forth gladly into the Unknown to solve the puzzle of her own words——”

My cosplay of Nazimova as Salomé

As Salomé was an experiment in pantomime for screen acting, it’s worthwhile to look at how Nazimova embodies this image of youth in her performance. In the first scenes, Salomé’s facial expressions are pouty and her movements like a bored child’s. Her wig emphasizes every movement she makes with a flurry of pearls and creates a neotenous silhouette for the character. When denied access to Jokanaan, her facial expressions are imperious, but the imperiousness of a spoiled child. She swings on the bars imprisoning Jokanaan as if they are a jungle gym. As she “charms” Narraboth, her expressions and body language shift toward a scheming energy with barely concealed artifice, displaying a distinct lack of sophistication—like she’s trying to angle a second serving of ice cream not exacting a favor of a servant that could cost his life.

Perhaps most crucially, Salomé’s adolescence emphasizes the inappropriateness of men’s gaze upon her. Wilde’s drama is built around rhythmic repetition in the dialogue—a key repetition being the act of looking. Though the play is only one act, some form of “regarder” in relation to Salomé is repeated nineteen times—most often in some form of “don’t look at her” or “you shouldn’t look at her that way.” As Salomé is a silent film, to repeat this in intertitles nineteen times in intertitles would be absurd. Throughout the film, frequent close ups are strategically employed to visually recreate the rhythmic emphasis on gazing. (The purpose of this device seems to have been lost on one reviewer for Exhibitors Herald who said in his review: ”too many close ups.”) Additionally, the motif is foregrounded by front-loading the mentions of looking. As soon as the opening narration ends, we’re introduced to Herod behaving lecherously toward Salomé and Herodias telling him not to look at her. The perversity of Herod is amplified here because Salomé is not only his niece and his step-daughter, but also a child. This scene is followed by Narraboth and the page having a similar interaction, albeit with a different tone.

As Nazimova put it herself in a profile in Close-Up magazine:

“The men about her are obnoxious; they cannot even look upon her decently. She loathes them all. Even the Syrian [Narraboth] whose approach is of all the most respectful and decorous, is of his times and his love is tempered with the alloy of lust.”

In the film, Salomé’s rage against Herod is justified, and her rage against Jokanaan is a raw confusion of emotions—she doesn’t have the capacity to act constructively. When the first unfortunate man commits suicide over her, she barely takes notice, establishing Salome’s blasé attitude toward death. When the second man takes his life this time directly in front of her, Salomé only notices after almost tripping on his body. Her response is giving the body an annoyed kick for tripping her! The key phrase of the drama is “The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death.” Salomé is surrounded by death, enveloped by it, but love (of any kind) is unknown to her until Jokanaan. So, when her love of Jokanaan is rebuked, she reverts to the only response that has been nurtured into her: death.

Nazimova’s Salomé is a perfect surviving example of a quality of her acting described in an uncredited review of Nazimova’s theatrical work:

“If the actress you’re seeing knows what she’s saying but you don’t, it’s Mrs. [Minnie Maddern] Fiske. But if the actress doesn’t know what she is saying and you do, it’s Alla Nazimova.”****

We as viewers understand what Salomé is going through, but she is being psychologically buffeted by fate and circumstance without ever comprehending the nature of it. The tumultuous feelings brought on by Salomé’s first brush with the spiritual (rather than the sexual), launches her into an accelerated ripening of her cruelty. This is masterfully communicated by Nazimova through facial expression and body language and accentuated by Rambova’s costuming.

As Herman Weinberg put it in his essay “The Function of the Actor:”

“The true film crystalizes action for us. ‘To see eternity in a grain of sand,’ the poet said. ‘To see a life cycle in an hour and a half’ is the modern screen parallel.”

Because of the emotional scale of Nazimova’s performance in Salomé, it has been variously described as “bizarre” or “grotesque”—though not always said derogatorily. That’s on point, as Nazimova’s performance is only one expression of her protest against realism in the film.

——— ——— ———

*If you’re interested in the 1920s at all, I highly recommend Allen’s book. The section this quote is from has a detailed survey of changes in American women’s lifestyles throughout the 1920s.

**as quoted in “Alla Nazimova: ‘The Witch of Makeup’” by Robert A. Schanke

***Gavin Lambert’s biography of Nazimova intimates that she referenced the 1917 Tairov production of Wilde’s Salomé, which she reportedly had a detailed description of. Reading about the production for myself in Mark Slonim’s Russian Theatre: from the Empire to the Soviets, I’m not sure what precisely she would have drawn from this production. It doesn’t seem to have much in common with the ‘22 film at all. That said, in a 1923 interview with Malcolm H. Oettinger in Picture-Play Magazine, Nazimova admits that in preparing for the film, she compiled a large scrapbook of previous productions and artistic interpretations of the story and character. Unfortunately, though Lambert clearly did voluminous research for his biography, his presentation and interpretation leaves a lot to be desired. Most of the things I tried to verify or try to find more information on from the book proved to be misrepresentations or were factually incorrect. So, I’m avoiding quoting Lambert without verification, unless what I’m citing is directly taken from a primary source; like a quote from Nazimova’s correspondence.

****quotation is from an uncredited clipping held by the Nazimova archive in Columbus, Georgia as quoted in Gavin Lambert’s biography

Illustration of Nazimova as Salomé by F. Corral from The Story World, March 1923

Nazimova and Rambova’s Modernist Phantasy

The assurance that Rambova and Nazimova felt that they had something new to bring to Salomé was obviously not solely founded in a character interpretation updated for the screen and for the decade. The two crafted a singular work born of pastiche in a manner that genuinely had not been done before in the American film industry. It’s often repeated that Salomé is America’s first art film. This may have its origin in promotional materials* made for the initial release of the film. Before the film’s official release, Bryant, Nazimova, and Paul Ivano (assistant camera & Nazimova’s on-again-off-again lover) arranged preview screenings and a few reviews from those screenings mention in some form that Salomé was a direct retort to the notion that art cannot be made with a camera.

What constituted the Nazimova/Rambova strategy to elevate film to the status of art? Both women had around six years of experience working in film (twelve collectively), but both came from a live performance background—theatrical acting and ballet respectively. Salomé is a film based on a stage play (though not strictly based on any one production of that play). Salomé inherits its symbology (first and foremost the moon) from its source material, but the filmmakers found creative ways of communicating and remixing symbols for the camera. The art design is inspired by Aubrey Beardsley’s illustrations for a printed edition of the play, though Rambova pulled more broadly from art-nouveau to devise designs that are in no way unoriginal.

As for the much discussed Dance of the Seven Veils, in my opinion, Nazimova’s execution is inspired by the dance described in Flaubert’s “Herodias” rather than a previous live performance.

“Again the dancer paused; then, like a flash, she threw herself upon the palms of her hands, while her feet rose straight up into the air. In this bizarre pose she moved about upon the floor like a gigantic beetle; then stood motionless.

“The nape of her neck formed a right angle with her vertebrae. The full silken skirts of pale hues that enveloped her limbs when she stood erect, now fell to her shoulders and surrounded her face like a rainbow. Her lips were tinted a deep crimson, her arched eyebrows were black as jet, her glowing eyes had an almost terrible radiance; and the tiny drops of perspiration on her forehead looked like dew upon white marble.”

Clearly, I’m not implying that what’s described above is exactly what we see on screen. My thought instead is that Nazimova may have drawn inspiration for the dance to be provocative in an uncanny way instead of provocative in a conventionally sensuous way. What we do see on screen is a distinct lack of practiced sensuality and an element of menace. The former comes both from Salomé’s youthfulness and from the logic that, as Salomé has already gotten Herod to give her his word in front of dignitaries, there’s no need for seduction. The latter is brought on by the expression of Salomé’s fractured emotional state and feelings about Herod. In execution, the use of close-ups again serves a major purpose. Intercutting close-up reactions from those gathered at the court provides a crescendo to the motif of looking, which is then pivotally reversed in the kiss scene. Cutting to close-ups of Salomé’s face accents the ecstatic and maniacal quality of the dance. Together this variation of shots creates an effect that could only work on film.

Salomé has a significant appreciation for its non-cinematic antecedents, but filtered through the prism of Nazimova’s and Rambova’s own creative strengths and sensibilities—a melding of theater and graphic art into something not only fresh but also totally cinematic.

It speaks to their filmmaking skill that all of these ideas and influences do in fact come together as a cohesive yet wholly unconventional film. Some critics of Salomé (both contemporary and modern) will cite vague notions of theatricality, or state that the film is only a series of tableaux, or that the limited sets don’t depart enough from a stage presentation. Art is in the eye of the beholder, but I think whether those specific elements preclude Salomé from being cinematic is a matter of perspective.

The oversized, stylized nature of Salomé’ssets might at first register as theatrical, but those same sets also serve to amp up the anti-real nature of the film. It’s uncharitable to Rambova to suggest that this artificiality was not a conscious artistic decision. If you have seen the sequences she designed with Mitchell Leisen for De Mille’s Forbidden Fruit (1921) then you have seen her demonstrated understanding of how designs register on camera. The gorgeously executed lighting effects in Salomé that are employed to to sublimate tone shifts could feasibly be recreated in a theatrical setting, here, filtered through the camera of Van Enger, register as thoroughly cinematic.

To once again quote “The Function of the Actor” by Weinberg:

“In nine movies out of ten (most particularly those emanating from the film factories of Hollywood), the actors stand around and talk to each other, relieved only by periodic bursts of someone going in or out of a doorway. (Sixty percent of the action in the average Hollywood movie consists of people going in and out of doors.) […] 

“The actor going through a doorway may be a necessary device on the stage, to get him on and off. But Pudovkin has made a neat distinction between the realities of stage and screen: ‘The film assembles the elements of reality to build from them a new reality proper to itself; and the laws of time and space that, in sets and footage of the stage are fixed and fast, are in the film entirely altered.’ On the stage, that is, an event seems to occur in the same length of time it would occupy in life. On the screen, however, the camera records only the significant parts of the event, and so the filmic time is shorter than the real time of the event.”

Weinberg cites Pudovkin in an amusing but illustrative way here. People may throw “overly theatrical” or “stagey” casually, but more often than not the distinction between theatrical/cinematic comes down to how space and time is traversed. Even if the base material, a narrative drama for example, is shared between stage and screen, there should be a thoughtful construction of geography and chronology. Could Salomé have played more creatively with space? Perhaps. But, for a film made in early 1922, its creative geography isn’t all that uninventive. The majority of the action in Salomé takes place exclusively on one set, so it does rely a lot on the types of comings and goings that Weinberg identifies with theatre. That said, there are some comings and goings that forcefully pull the audience away from the feeling of stagey-ness. The most consequential occurs in the scene with the first suicide, which I previously mentioned in the context of developing Salomé‘s character and environment. The man runs to the ledge of the courtyard, beholds the moon, and leaps. Cut to a wide, back-lit shot of the figure plunging to nowhere, establishing that the city above the clouds depicted in the art titles and opening credits is the actual physical location that film is taking place in. It’s a genuinely startling moment in the film and Salomé’s most evocative use of creative geography.

The majority of legitimate critical appraisal at the time of Salomé’s release recognize it as an achievement in film art, even highlighting artsiness as a potential selling point. As art cinemas started popping up in the US, Salomé stayed in circulation. Appreciation grew. Legends emerged around its production. And, now one hundred years later, it’s safe to say that Salomé has earned and kept its place as a fixture of the history of film art. As we are lucky enough to have the complete film to watch, assess, reassess, and debate its qualities as a work of cinematic art, I’m positive that conversation on Salomé will continue. 

So, if Salomé was appreciated in its time, why did it ruin and bankrupt Nazimova? What was going on in the American film industry at the time? Find out in part two!

“If we have made something fine, something lasting, it is enough. The commercial end of it does not interest me at all. I hate it. This I do know: we must live, and I must live well. I have suffered—enough. Never again shall I suffer. But most of all am I concerned in creating something that will lift us all above this petty level of earthly things. My work is my god. I want to build what I know is fine, what I feel calling for expression. I must be true to my ideals—” — Nazimova on Salomé quoted in “The Complete Artiste” by Malcolm Oettinger

——— ——— ———

*As of the time of writing, I haven’t been able to track down a complete copy for the campaign book for the film, so I’m relying on fragments, quotes, and second-hand references to its content.

——— ——— ———

☕Appreciate my work? Buy me a coffee! ☕

——— ——— ———

Bibliography/Further Reading

(This isn’t an exhaustive list, but covers what’s most relevant to the essay above!)

Salomé by Oscar Wilde [French/English]

“Herodias” by Gustave Flaubert [English]

Cosplay the Classics: Natacha Rambova

Lost, but Not Forgotten: A Doll’s House (1922)

“Temperament? Certainly, says Nazimova” by Adela Rogers St. Johns in Photoplay, October 1926

“Newspaper Opinions” in The Film Daily, 3 January 1923

“Splendid Production Values But No Kick in Nazimova’s “Salome” in The Film Daily, 7 January 1923

“SALOME” in The Story World, March 1923

“SALOME’ —Class AA” from Screen Opinions, 15 February 1923

“The Complete Artiste” by Malcolm H. Oettinger in Picture-Play Magazine, April 1923

“Famous Salomes” by Willard H. Wright in Motion Picture Classic, October 1922

“Nazimova’s ‘Salome’” by Walter Anthony in Closeup, 5 January 1923

“Alla Nazimova: ‘The Witch of Makeup’” by Robert A. Schanke in Passing Performances: Queer Readings of Leading Players in American Theater History

“Besare tu boca, Iokanaan. Arte y experiencia cinematografica en Salome de Alla Nazimova” by Belén Ruiz Garrido (Wish I had read this at the beginning of my research and writing instead of near the end as it touches upon a few of the same points as my essay! Highly recommended!)

“The Function of the Actor” by Herman Weinberg

“‘Out Salomeing Salome’: Dance, The New Woman, and Fan Magazine Orientalism” by Gaylyn Studlar in Visions of the East: Orientalism in Film

Nazimova: A Biography by Gavin Lambert (Note: I do not recommend this without caveat even though it’s the only monograph biography of Nazimova. Lambert did a commendable amount of research but his presentation of that research is ruined by misrepresentations, factual errors, and a general tendency to make unfounded assumptions about Nazimova’s motivations and personal feelings.)

Only Yesterday: An Informal History of the 1920s by Frederick Lewis Allen

Russian Theatre: from the Empire to the Soviets by Mark Slonim

[absolutebl]

Heyo! I have a friend I'm trying to get more into BL. She's watched KinnPorsche and I recently got her to watch 3 Will Be Free (I know, not BL). She's somewhat picky about the romance she likes to consume, so I thought I'd ask you which BLs you think would be best to get her started with the genre. Her specifications are 1) a good, solid plot (any type is fine); 2) slow burn; 3) and good chemistry. She also loves sci fi and fantasy. My initial thoughts are MoD, Not Me, and AToTS. Any additions?

BLs with: 1 Good Story, 2 Slow Burn, 3 Good Chemistry, 4 PNR elements if possible

I have not one specific list for you, but several! Many of these not updated so likely to recommend pre the 2023 madness. (Imma rag on some of your choices briefly: KP & MoD only satisfy one criteria - chemistry IMHO.

I did give you a final list of winners at the bottom tho!

1) BLs with the best stories:

2) BLs with best slow burn:

3) BLs with the best chemistry:

(by my definition)

4) PNR BLs (paranormal, sci-fi, or fantastical elements)

P'ABL did the math:

BLs that do or should show up on most of those lists:

Dear Doctor I’m Coming for Soul (Thailand) - the first one I thought of that satisfies all criteria. Good story, great chemistry, PNR & slow burn. By your friend's accounting, this should be the perfect BL. I'm a fan of this show and I have a full review here BUT I don't actually rec it often. Why? My quibble with DDICFS is that for dyed-in-the-wool BL or romance fans the ending may not satisfy, BUT that seems to be the one thing your friend is NOT - so this should be perfect.

Triage (Thailand) - good chemistry, frustratingly slow burn, def PNR, and good story. This was my second pull. It suffered at the time of airing from distribution issues and (perhaps more sadly) being up against KP. It's really good tho. A “correct the past” Groundhog Day plot, that has narrative baggage I normally do not like but is so clever about time loops, I have to forgive it my hang-ups. About a doctor who must save a boy to fix reality, but not in the usual way. 

Until We Meet Again (Thailand) - GREAT story, decent chemistry, very PNR, but not slow burn. It’s a perfectly executed fated mates reincarnation plot, fantastic well-seeded twists & reveals, and the only BL I would love to see adapted by other countries or read professionally translated. 

Old Fashion Cupcake (Japan) - slow burn, great story & chemistry, no PNR. This is a deceptively simple office romance that actually has a lot to say about life, love, maturity, and pancakes. It’s charming but also deeply moving and loving in its exploration of what it means to give up, and how connection can bring with it second chances. It’s also beautifully filmed and acted. 

Seven Days (Japan) - slow burn, great romance plot, good chemistry, no PNR. This is a pitch perfect elegant little YA romance that stays completely true to its yaoi roots but neatly avoids all the flaws of the genre. The story is deceptively simple but allows for angst and miscommunication to develop with VERY good reason, and is almost worth studying because of that. As a romance, it is elegant. I can see why it got stolen adapted.

1000 Stars (Thailand) - solid romance, very slow burn, okay chemistry, no PNR. All BL is romantic, but not all BL is a modern romance in the literary sense of the term, but 1k* is just that, an absolutely glorious slow burn gay romance that nods at BL but isn’t behooven to it. It’s just a really well executed linear romance story.

HIStory 3: Trapped (Taiwan 2019 Viki) - not PNR and maybe not exactly slow burn but aces everything else. (This was MY KP when it aired.) Taiwan often struggles with story because their BLs aren’t always long enough to really get stuck in, Trapped is different. It has a baby murder investigation that promotes conflict between the leads, so the romantic tension is between plot and character, it’s so smart. The leads did a GREAT job of showcasing mature chemistry. The side dishes in this series are wonderful too. The main couple has an amorphous ending, but like with Dear Doctor, that shouldn't rank under these specific circumstances.

My School President (Thai 2023 YouTube) - great chemistry, very slow burn, okay story, no PNR BUT you have to like YA. I know not everyone does. This is very youthful. GMMTV gave us a classic high school set Thai BL with tropes like messy boys singing their feelings that made this one Love Sick for the modern age with all the gentle sweetness and pining ache, but none of the dated damaging tropes or issues. Yes, we’ve seen it all before, but I still ADORE this. And there is a lot to be said for the classics being executed perfectly. Who let my BL be this wholesome and funny? Possibly too slow burn for some, we wait many eps for that pay out, and Tin's pining is NOT quiet, but it defines dorky and earnest, so when the payout comes? Lovely.

About Youth (Taiwan 2022 Gaga) - exactly the same criteria as MSP just Taiwan's version. A truly lovely little coming of age high school BL with a classic YA low drama but high angst and an earnest depth. I didn’t even mind the singing, and that’s saying a lot. A weak seme/uke dynamic but tons of BL tropes (both rare in a high school setting but common for Taiwan) makes this one feel both sweet and colored by an almost real world queer authenticity and grit. Full review here.

See You After Quarantine? (Taiwan 2021 Viki) - it's short there isn't a ton of story development, but it's a nice nugget introduction to Taiwan's style. Great chemistry, def slow burn, and CUTE. This under-appreciated gem is Taiwan’s answer to Gameboys and is just as charming and adorable yet still quintessentially Taiwanese. It features a Japanese love interest and the cutest most confused disaster gay. Slow burn because the two have almost no actual screen time together and yet manage some truly amazing chemistry. How does Taiwan do it?

Why no KBL?

Fascinating but despite the fact that KBL tends to earn the highest ratings from me and occupies the most slots in my 10/10 BLs of all time, because they are so short they tend to fall... erm... short in the arena of story and slow burn. Also, until recently, not a lot of great chemistry.

So here are a few others I considered but ended up eliminating for not containing enough of your required elements:

He's Coming to Me (Thailand) - review here

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korea) - this has a 12th Night meet Cinderfella feel to it, plus some great story tricks like a plot that requires a historical setting (I love it when narrative elements are codependent). 

Our Dining Table - It’s a quiet & cozy little parable of found family alleviating loneliness. Possibly too slow for some but definitely high up there for me with the best of what Japan can do, it’s only flaw (if I dare say such a thing) is that it is not really “romantic.” Lovely & sweet but the romance beats are being used to build a family relationship, not just couple intimacy, it’s OK with me, but not totally BL.

DNA Says Love You (Taiwan) - full review here

Ghost Host Ghost House - if your friend likes horror and culture immersion this might be a winner. Boys shack up with ghosts and each other. The story is weak but everything else is on point and it has some of the best slow burn HOT chemistry ever to hit our screens. No... really. The THIRST is real.

Semantic Error (2022 Viki) - Simple story, no PNR, not slow burn, but for Korea it’s some of the best chemistry the traditional studios have ever managed. It is flawless BL. Truly, perfection for the genre. If your friend doesn't like this, BL is probubly not the right genre. Full review. 

Light on Me - def slow burn but story is a little weak and while there is chemistry, it's not really acted upon. Also v YA and a little stiff. I love this BL unreasonably.

KP not tagged to protect me from the fandom. Don't troll me and prove my point. Remember I can has ban hammer and am not afraid to use it.

(source)

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

Stories We’ve Read & Enjoyed in the Past Three Years (2020 - 2023)

We had a recent request for stories that were not dark, and no character death. They wanted stories that would make for fun conversations - we’re not quite sure what that means exactly, since any story can spark a fun convo so we hope you all find something enjoyable to read. We’ve included 30 various stories - if you enjoy an author’s writing, definitely check out their other works! And it goes without saying, please leave kudos or a sweet comment. 

Thank you and happy reading!

Lynne, @hkvoyage @1908jmd and @lilyvandersteen

~~~~~~~~~~

I Don’t Date Cheerios by @teddyshoney

Blaine, leader of the McKinley High bad boys is forced to join a club, and he winds up singing in front of the Glee Club. Who else would be in the audience besides Cheerio Kurt? Kurt's never been a fan of Blaine, but that's all about to change...

~~~~~

99 perspectives on a single love story by @spaceorphansficrecs

The Story of Kurt and Blaine told through the eyes of everyone else but them. Each chapter is a different perspective in the ongoing tale of their love story.

~~~~~

Nashville by @hkvoyage

Kurt lands the lead role in a new musical, but it flops during the previews. However, his performance captivates Nashville’s newest country music sensation. They share an instant connection and it grows deeper as they get to know each other. Will Kurt be able to save the musical and keep the man of his dreams?

~~~~~

Christmas in Cabinland by @honeysucklepink

Sam enters Kurt and Blaine in a contest for a “unique Airbnb experience,” which turns out to be a rustic week in 15 acres of the Pacific Northwest rainforest. Far away from civilization, and with little interruption from their eccentric hosts, it’s a Christmas they won’t soon forget.

~~~~

Barking up the wrong bakery by @forabeatofadrum

Kurt is the biggest dog party planner in Los Angeles. When his usual dog bakery cancels on Kurt, he’s in the dire need of a last minute replacement. Luckily, he comes across the Dalton Doggy dog bakery, which is run by Blaine and Cooper Anderson. Cooper’s a mess, but Blaine manages to charm Kurt. Will Kurt be able to keep it professional?

~~~~

About-face by quizasvivamos

At the start of the Marching Band season his sophomore year, Blaine is the youngest Drum Major in McKinley High history. However, none of his peers believe he deserves the title, especially a handful of embittered upperclassmen, including one particularly stubborn Color Guard Captain, who challenges him in more ways than one.

~~~~

Everybody’s naked and there’s a country to run by @coffeegleek

A take on the "prince/king!Blaine and prince/king!Kurt are getting married and have to do it while naked in front of their loyal subjects" trope. It’s pure crack taken seriously. I’m blaming the heat. The fic started as this wisp of an idea and a single funny Kurt line. It was supposed to all be fast paced and instead sometimes dissolves into a bit of world building, exposition, and Kurt feelings. I do try my best and hope that at least some of the jokes and humor land. It also developed a full blown plot that has a beginning and an end.

~~~~

Braid of Gold by @jayhawk-writes

Kurt and Blaine ask Caphriel to make the decision about where they go next. He chooses a lifetime where Kurt and Blaine will have to navigate a situation they've not yet been in. They'll have to work through loss and betrayal and ultimately, their bond will be stronger as a family because of it.

~~~~~

Home away from home by @lilyvandersteen

Cooper buys a hotel sight unseen and asks Blaine to run it for him over the summer. Only, the hotel is a health and safety hazard and Inspectors Hummel and Abrams are hell-bent on closing it down. Can Blaine spruce the hotel up in time and save Cooper's investment?

~~~~

These inconvenient fireworks by @redheadgleek

After an unexpected Tony award, Kurt Hummel is Broadway's hottest up and coming star, which comes with expectations and some admirers that won't take a hint. When his best friend Elliott Gilbert suggests that they pretend to date to get the leeches to back off, Kurt takes him up on the idea. It's all working out great - until Kurt starts to fall hard for the dark-haired music director of his latest musical.

~~~~~

Reprise by orphan-account  [PDF]

During Kurt's senior year at NYADA, a life-changing event causes him to take a leave of absence and what was supposed to be a short stay turns into years. His life certainly isn't what he expected, but he's not exactly unhappy. His name is not lit up in lights on Broadway, but he's involved in community theater and LGBTQ groups in Columbus and has friends who love him and casual lovers. But turning 35 has made him restless and he's longing for the life he had before. Burt talks him into taking some classes at Ohio State University to finish his degree and start focusing on himself again. What Kurt finds on the OSU campus is much more than he bargained for.

~~~~

Turn Into a Pose by @little-escapist  

Singer-songwriter Blaine Anderson wants to come out of the closet. When his publicist sets him up with movie-star Kurt Hummel, he’s ready for anything, but the last thing that Kurt wants is a relationship with anyone, let alone Blaine. He hates his publicist for setting him up, hates the idea of lying to the world, and hates letting the world invade his personal life. But maybe Blaine Anderson is exactly what Kurt Hummel needs.

~~~~

Spinning out by @rockitmans

Blaine is smitten with his college roommate literally upon arrival and decides that he's an excellent candidate for losing his virginity with. After all, what's better for Roomie Bonding than penetration between friends?

~~~~

Solid Gold by @heartsmadeofbooks

Ten years after breaking his engagement to Blaine, Kurt's life isn't the fairy tale he once hoped for. Forced to leave New York, he goes looking for a second chance, not expecting to find it in the town he always wanted to run away from, or with the man whose heart he shattered.

~~~~

Lost Boy by  my own patronus

In September 1999, Pam and James Anderson's world was shattered when their youngest son, Blaine, was abducted from a local park. 12 years later, after pain, healing, and tireless searching, the family is reunited. But the boy who comes home to them isn't the same one they lost so long ago. The Anderson family must learn to change and grow as a lost boy is found once more.

~~~~

To Serenade an Angel by @teddyshoney

After the death of his father, Kurt receives a letter from a prestigious musical college, inviting him to attend. He decides to attend, and shortly after his arrival, he hears a strange voice beckoning him down a forbidden hallway. Kurt begins a relationship with the voice, unsure why he finds him so intriguing and why his heart beats more rapidly each time he thinks about the voice. Who does the voice belong to? And what does it want with him?

~~~~~

Since Sense Sensory by @gleefulpoppet

One rainy night, nestled at a patio table of a small café, Kurt broke off his engagement with Blaine in a moment of heated frustration that had been building for weeks. That was 12 years ago, and they haven’t seen each other since. Suddenly, they may find themselves reunited in a place they never expected. If you had a second chance with your first love, would you take it?

~~~~~

The Ghost Kitchen by @hkvoyage

At the start of the Covid-19 pandemic, Kurt lived in Lima with his father. Two years later, he returned to New York City. As he needed money to pay for rent and food, he got a job in a booming industry: food delivery. His first delivery order was a pick-up from Warbler Food Enterprises. Little did he know he would meet a cute chef there that would turn his world upside down.

~~~~~

Where Dreams Are Born by @kurtswish

Kurt Hummel always dreamed of New York, but reality doesn’t quite live up to his expectations. One impulsive decision could change it all.

~~~~~

Love, Blaine by @gleefuldarrencrissfan

Blaine Anderson is a typical teenager. Except he’s not because he’s hiding a huge secret. He’s gay. But after reading a confession on the informal Dalton blog, he discovers that he’s not the only closeted boy at Dalton. After a moment of courage, he emails him and ultimately starts up a friendship that will change life as he knows it. Loosely based on Love, Simon.

~~~~~

Teach Me Control by @scatter-the-stars

Kurt is in a established Dom/sub relationship with his high school English teacher, Blaine. And Blaine decides to surprise him on his nineteenth birthday with something he never expected.

~~~~~

looking for something that'll (never) come by @klaineanummel

Blaine Anderson-Chang knows that his crush on his brother’s best friend, straight football star Kurt Hummel, is foolhardy. But every now and then Kurt gives him a look and Blaine can’t help but wonder.

~~~~~

Domus Civita by JayhawkWrites

While on vacation to a city he’s never been to, Kurt Hummel finds himself in a place that he recognized from his dreams. The person he always sees in those dreams is there, too, and they spot him and ask, “Is it really you?”

Note: Part of the In Every Lifetime series

~~~~~ 

Bicycle Patrol Unit by @caramelcoffeeaddict

When NYPD bicycle cop, Blaine Anderson, begins to fall for Kurt Hummel - the gorgeous man that he first notices while Kurt is jogging through the park during Blaine’s patrol there - it causes a rift between him and his patrol partner, Sebastian Smythe

~~~~~

Never Saying Goodbye To You by @lilyvandersteen

Inspired by a beautiful drawing by @thisdoesnotsuck, this is a story where Kurt travels through time to the 1920s and falls in love with his great-grandfather’s secret beau. Featuring a family curse, doppelgängers, angst and confusion.

~~~~~

When Are You Gonna Sing For Me by  TheNameIsBritney

Kurt is one of the three members of wildly successful pop punk band One Three Hill. He is also forgetful as all get out and accidentally leaves his phone somewhere where a certain music teacher just happens to find it.

OR

The pop star!Kurt/middle school music teacher!Blaine au that lives rent free in my brain

~~~~~

My Reader by Cleverboots (Amberlovesocean)

Kurt is looking for an after-school job. He finds an ad on the school bulletin board for a job reading aloud for someone. It pays well and seems easy, so Kurt applies. He gets the job and goes to the mansion to read for a boy that was severely injured in an accident. Of course you know the boy's name is Blaine Anderson. After a rocky start, they become friends and an amazing opportunity opens up for Kurt.

~~~~~

The Elf On The Shelf by kellyb321

The owner at Verve Design has decided the holidays at the office have been way too boring in the past. He's decided to kick it up a notch with a Christmas party, Secret Santas and...and adorable Elf on the Shelf for the office. Kurt might be a little smitten.

~~~~~

Outlined on My Finger, Printed in My Heart by @jayhawk-writes

Blaine and Kurt spent a while picking their next adventure. When they finally decided, Caphriel was elated. This was an adventure he had been waiting for them to choose.

~~~~~

Guard My Heart by @scatter-the-stars

The kiss isn't meant to change his life. But for Kurt, that's what happens when he kisses basketball star Blaine Anderson. Not wanting to concern himself with the guy, he focuses on going back to his normal life and saving a place he loves. When Blaine starts to show up in his life, he tries to ignore the feelings he stirs up in him. That's easier said than done, and Kurt soon finds himself falling for someone unexpected.

[tunaverso]

OK SO LET'S START THE BLOGGG and what's some better way to do it than writting down some oc ref sheets! i want to give some old characters sum love and attention since they are very dear to me :D i love my ocs so much aavsjagsha!!

the art pieces i have from most are very old, so i'll be creating them on this picrew => https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1322863 (plus giving them some updates) i'll make their human versions but most of them are furries hehee (i still want to make little ms paint icons for them but this is gonna take some time... i'll update it slowly)

let's start!

☆ Summary: under this article you can find the reference sheets of:

- Pixel (space girls)

- Astra (space girls, digital world)

- Allison Filomena (cottage witches)

- Eelie (cottage witches)

- Hatchi Haru (hatchi haru)

- Josh Sphynx (sphynx)

- Shiver (hatchi haru, a tale of dirty whiskers)

Pixel

Full Name: Pixel Nova

Pronouns: she/they

Species: starcat (species created by me; they're usually slim cats with short fur and big round eyes with white stars on their pupils. coat is usually shades of purple and blue. their tail can be split in two. legends say they came from space and got on Earth through a comet)

Age: early 20s

Gender: afab non-binary

Sexuality: lesbian

Occupation: in training for being an astronaut

Relatives: Astra Nova (cousin)

Friends: Sunny (love interest)

Key Information:

- due to being a starcat, has some easiness on going to space

Trivia:

- likes to wake up early and go running

- a marathonist!

☆ Pixel can be found under the tag "space girls"!

Astra

Full Name: Astra Nova

Pronouns: they/it/she

Species: starcat (read Pixel's Species section for more info)

Age: 19

Gender: demigirl

Sexuality: biromantic demisexual

Occupation: gamer; stuck in a virtual adventure world

Relatives: Pixel Nova (cousin)

Friends: Kurt (love interest)

Key Information:

- very shy and quiet

- sings very well

- only wears black

- always with a hoodie

- tail tip is split in two

Trivia:

- plays as a dark mage/necromancer

☆ Astra can be found under the tags "space girls" and "digital world"!

Allison Filomena (Filó)

Name: Allison Filomena

Pronouns: she/they

Species: cat/lynx hybrid

Age: late 20s

Gender: transfem non-binary

Sexuality: panromantic demisexual

Occupation: witch; witchcraft teacher; ritual leader

Relatives: Eelie (wife)

Key Information:

- lives in a cottage in the woods with her wife

- has a small potion online shop (hires crows to deliver them)

- tall and very charming

Trivia:

- loves earrings and necklaces

- loves fungi (especially as food)

☆ Allison can be found under the tag "cottage witches"!

Eelie

Name: Eelie

Pronouns: she/her

Species: maine coon cat

Age: early 30s

Gender: trans woman

Sexuality: pansexual

Occupation: witch; pastry baker, youtuber

Relatives: Allison (wife)

Key Information:

- lives in a cottage in the woods with her wife

- runs a cooking channel on youtube

- short and chubby; very fluffy

Trivia:

- loves kawaii aesthetic and lolita dresses (her favorite character is cinnamonroll)

- her favorite color combination is pink and blue

☆ Eelie can be found under the tag "cottage witches"!

Hatchi Haru

Full Name: Hatchi Haru

Pronouns: she/they

Species: ground shark

Age: early 20s

Gender: trans woman

Sexuality: questioning (knows she's queer)

Occupation: indie game developer

Relatives: Noah (sibling)

Friends: Anime and Tomoko (gamedev partners), Margô (swimming tutor, former love interest), Josh (con friend), Rocket (love interest)

Key Information:

- VERY shy

- not a natural swimmer like other sharks; goes to swimming classes

- goes to the same coffee shop every morning; usually works there until noon

- saving money to gamedev college

- has a hard time dealing with her family; is only slightly close to her sibling Noah

Trivia:

- scared of water!

☆ Hatchi can be found under the tag "hatchi haru"!

Josh

Full Name: Josh Sphynx

Pronouns: he/it

Species: sphynx cat

Age: early 20s

Gender: trans man

Sexuality: gay

Occupation: professional gamer

Relatives: Joe (older brother), Mavis (sister-in-law)

Friends: Hatchi (con friend)

Key Information:

- hikikomori; slowly overcoming the fear of leaving his house so he can attend college

- tall and lanky

- has very small boobs (chest is almost flat)

- lives with his brother, but the guy's barely at home so Josh spend most time alone; the only people he regularly talk to are Joe and Mavis

Trivia:

- Professional Lamen Cooker (tm)

☆ Josh can be found under the tag "sphynx"!

Shiver

Full Name: Cherié "Shiver" Whiskers

Pronouns: they/she/it

Species: stray cat

Age: 22 y.o

Gender: agender

Sexuality: aromantic bisexual

Occupation: barista

Relatives: the "Whiskers" family (they're one of the siblings)

Key Information:

- writes adventure stories in their free time

- has the right eye cut by a scar; nobody knows where they got it

- the youngest sibling and one of the closest to mom, making others jealous

☆ Shiver can be found under the tags "hatchi haru" and "a tale of dirty whiskers"!

[shadowbugtidbits]

What I Would Picture Shadowbugs to be Like in the Game Punch Out!!! (2009)

After reading the additions to my "Invader Zim in Punch Out post, I wondered: what would fighting a Shadowbug be like?

Basics

If a smaller Shadowbug (about 12-13 feet) is even able to properly fit in the ring using halfway shadow form and fight against Little Mac (the main protagonist), then this Shadowbug would likely go very easy on him.

I say this because objectively speaking, Shadowbugs are 75% muscle and can lift 100x their body weight (without any PAK tech, mind you). A good comparison is a grizzly bear that benchpresses 24/7 and eats nothing but protein shakes.

That's not even acknowledging the fact that Shadowbugs are incredibly tanky, taking a very tiny smidgen of damage. Though you can knock a Shadowbug off their feet while they're in their normal form, this is isn't possible when they're halfway in their shadow form. If a Shadowbug does get knocked out, then they can get up quite quickly (ie: before the count reaches 3).

So, you have quite a terrifying beast to fight, with them being even stronger than the Tallest or any other trained Irken soldier.

The Fight

Taking all of the above info into account, even a smaller Shadowbug would realistically kill Little Mac and send him flying across the building with one jab. However, since this is a video game, a single jab from a Shadowbug would instantly land a TKO on Little Mac. You as the player would have to dodge every single hit or else it's game over. That's not even taking into account that Shadowbugs are surprisingly quick with their reactions, often going into their full shadow form to dodge blows.

Even if you do land a hit on them, this opponent isn't going down easily. They take very little damage even from Mac's 3-Star Punches, so you'd be in for a long, terrifying fight.

Trying to land a TKO mid-fight won't save you as there is no way to do this. So, you'd have to land the TKO the old-fashioned way.

Cutscenes

The opening cutscene for your Shadowbug opponent would be quite sad, actually. It would involve this gentle giant not wanting to fight Little Mac out of fear of killing him and Referee trying to reassure them, saying that "It'll be okay. Just go easy on him!"

Shadowbugs are like gorillas in the sense that they will NOT attack something that they see as being weaker than them (at least when not given a reason).

The in-between cutscenes would be just as sad, with the Shadowbug apologizing profusely to Little Mac, saying, "I am soooo sorry! I really am! I'm trying to be gentle but I'm just too strong!" This shows the general character of these sweet creatures. In most circumstances they're lovers, not fighters.

The cutscene that would play after Little Mac gets knocked out would be the Shadowbug panicking, thinking that they accidentally killed him. They would be seen running over to Mac and trying to help him get back up, even holding him like they would hold their babies.

The cutscene that would play after the Shadowbug gets knocked out would involve them collapsing back into their shadow form, but not before smiling at Little Mac. This indicates the Shadowbug is happy that they lost and that Mac is still alive.

Title Defense Mode

This fight is actually exclusive to Title Defense, being a little treat after fighting Donkey Kong. As such, a professional player that has made it this far would fare better than a newbie.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Shadowbugs would be a scary opponent even if they're going easy on you. They do make for some good final boss material, though.

(Insert adorable behind the scenes footage of Little Mac playing tug-of-war with his Shadowbug opponent using an old gym sock.)

[hellonoblesky]

turt in ur professional opinion whats the best star wars movie/seires ever and WHY

It's been actual YEARS since I last watched an actual Star Wars MOVIE so I will refrain from commenting on them and stick to the shows because I do truly believe they are the best way I've ever consumed Star Wars as a world (for a couple reasons!! The main one being that there are so many worlds and creatures and cultures in Star Wars that being given an anthology-like format/an episode-by-episode format offers a much richer/fuller interaction with the worlds!!! i could talk about that for a long time tbh)

SO here's my ranking and reasoning for my Top Five Star Wars Medias (with reasonings/ramblings) MINUS the movies and comics solely because the last time I watched a movie was like. 4-5 years ago and I have yet to find the time to properly get into the comics.

This is NOT spoiler free I WILL be going in depth at parts because these are my personal favorites and I don't have IRL's who've read/watched all of them.

#5 Dark Disciple

This one is my dear darling self-indulgence pick. Honestly. Because I love both of the main characters in it with an overwhelming adoration and it has cameos that made me lose my mind in the best way possible forever.

For context: the story follows Jedi Knight Quinlan Voss as he goes undercover to attempt to befriend ex-Sith apprentice and current bounty hunter, Asaj Ventress, to assassinate her old Master and head of the Separatist movement, Count Dooku.

They fall in love. And the two of them falling in love, while reading, does feel rushed and jumbled due to the timeskips within it causing the pacing to feel off (which is why it's only #5 on this list and not higher), good lord is the way Quinlan thinks about Ventress enough to bring tears to my eyes. When I say he thinks of her so tenderly and lovingly and it puts my heart in sobbing agony every time!!!!! And she, who's been hurt over and over again by those she holds dear and LOST them OVER AND OVER AND OVER again begins to open up to him!!!!!! Lets him in on Nightsister* secrets and rituals!!!!!!!! AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!AND IT MAKES ME CRY!!!!!!!!

(*her home culture, made up of a group of extremely elusive witches. they were massacred by General Grievous at the order of Count Dooku after her first attempt at assassinating him)

Because their assassination plot goes horribly wrong. It goes so SO wrong. Quinlan is taken by Count Dooku and tortured to the point of temporarily becoming his new apprentice. Ventress has once again lost someone she cares deeply about, adding to a long, LONG list. The Jedi track her down and ask her to help them retrieve Quinlan.

She agrees to help, finding Quinlan only to be horrified when she senses the sheer level of darkness and evil festering within him.

But she's the only one who can sense it. Because she's the only one who's also been a Sith apprentice. The rest of the Jedi are confused, even Quinlan himself, as to why when they save him she pushes him away frantically after finally having him back.

He almost falls right back into Dooku's hands because of that darkness that only she could see.

And she sacrifices herself to save him, taking the full force of Dooku's force-lightning in an act of selflessness that 1) is the first time she experiences what you could call 'the light side' of the force, looking into the future, seeing what to do and 2) shocks (haha) Quinlan lose of the darkness.

Of course I have complaints like 1) Ventress dying when she's taken the brunt of Dooku's force lightning before, and arguably been through worse if not equal horrors, it reads like the author didn't really care about her character and shoved her out of the way for shock value?? 2) the pacing doesn't sit in my head very well :(

It's still in my top five favorite pieces of Star Wars media though. Because I love LOVE love love Quinlan. And I adore Ventress with my entire heart and soul and Quinlan loves her so so so much and so much of the book is from his POV and. Man. There's a scene where he literally calls her "A goddess of love and war and hope and ecstasy. Like a glimmering star I have somehow been blessed to hold. Like the rest of my life."

LIKE WTF!!! HE LOVED HER SO SO MUCH AND I. LOSE MY MIND EVERY TIME. LITEARLLY BROUGHT ME TO TEARS LOOKING FOR THAT QUOTE. Anyway

#4 The Thrawn Books (both his Imperial trilogy and his Ascendancy trilogy).

Thrawn himself is a wonderfully fascinating character and one that fills the "mastermind" archetype in a way I particularly find lovely!! Like, he's probably my favorite "Mastermind" type character. Of course, he himself is not a morally GOOD person, he's extremely morally grey, It's fun and interesting to watch his thought process. Especially through the eyes of those around him, who hold him in a VAST variety of opinions.

Like in his Imperial trilogy we get insight into the inner workings of the Empire's Navy, and the opinions of the people who, in contrast to Thrawn who hails from a foreign civilization in the Unknown Regions of Star Wars' galaxy, grew up in the Empire, with the beliefs and propaganda that entails. ALONG WITH insight into why he was let into the Imperial navy with no resistance from the Emperor, considering he's not only an 'Alien' (they aren't generally allowed in the Imperial forces), but he made his way to the Emperor after attacking and attempting to sneak onto an Imperial ship.

His relationship and dynamic with Darth Vader/Anikin is fascinating, and the characters introduced in his Imperial trilogy to eventually be sent off to his home government the Chiss Ascendancy to assist them in their own battles on their home turf are ALSO fun to explore.

His Ascendancy trilogy gives an excellent depth to his character, giving us his past and more information on his home system. We watch him deal with misunderstandings and mishaps in school, we watch him find his way in the Chiss Expansionary Defence Fleet (his home Navy), and we see his dynamic with his fellow officers, both positive and negative. We see the events that shaped him and how he's remained the same and as a huge fan of character study, I just find them super fun to read after having read his Imperial trilogy :)

#3 The Mandalorian

Oh the combination of cowboy western-style storytelling and the elements of found family alongside having an episodic formula I personally really like is just. SO good. god. We have Din Djarin, our main guy, the Mandalorian, a bounty hunter doing work for Beskar, his people's sacred steel used in their armor, finding this little tiney guy as his bounty. Just a little guy.

He sees himself in the kid (who's, yes, 50 years old but due to how his species ages he's like a toddler), because he himself was a child with no home once, and he was saved by the Mandalorians taking him in as a foundling.

So he takes the kid in, goes on the run to protect him, does odd jobs and makes weird friends in places, puts his life on the line trying to find these weird space wizards he's heard that this kid should belong to called the "Jedi", a race that once warred with the Mandalorians, but that's no excuse to not attempt to return the child to them.

He tracks down Ashoka Tano, love of my life Ashoka Tano, who tells him that she's no longer a Jedi, but explains how he can signal for one.

It's just a good show, and it showcases a variety of different places and I really love that

#2 Andor

THIS SHOW IS STILL COMING OUT, with 9/12 episodes currently out, but GOD it's some of the best Star Wars content I have ever seen in my life oh my god holy SHIT.

Not only is the main character, Cassian Andor, an intriguing character and really just some guy trying to live his life while ducking under the Empire's radar with the occasional crime and smuggler's deal (as is sort of necessary for him to survive comfortably), but ends up killing two Corporate Guards and then the Empire is after him because, yk, he killed two guys, so he ends up agreeing to assist in a rebel heist so he'll have money to get off the planet and go on the run, and then, in an entirely UNRELATED EVENT, gets thrown in prison (which is where he is right now).

The show has an excellent cast of wonderfully diverse characters ranging from a high-ranking Senator, a high-ranking ISB (Imperial Security Bureau) supervisor, a disgraced Investigator/ISB fanatic, to our main character, Cassian, a pretty criminal sort of guy trying to live his life and the people on the planet he lives on who are also just trying to live their lives. There's even rebel lesbians with a rocky relationship and an old woman with hope for the rebellion. And not ONLY is the cast diverse with a range of backgrounds and pasts, but the show ALSO explores themes like the lengths of cruelty and immorality that forms the Empire, the Empire's prison-industrial complex, Racism, the struggles of rebellion,, etc. It's so good, genuinely amazing, I love it so much

AND #1. MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE PIECE OF STAR WARS MEDIA: The Clone Wars Animated Series.

Originally aired on Cartoon Network, TCW is my all-time favorite piece of SW media for one very simple reason: It's an anthology series.

It's arcs are three episodes long. It takes place during the Clone Wars. We get to see a padawan (Ashoka) grow amidst war. We see new characters (Ventress, Savage Opress, Satine, etc.). We see different aspects of already-known characters. We see the Clones, the actual army of the Republic and how the war affected THEM. AND IT HAS AMAZING VARIETY IN ITS TONE!!!!

We have extremely dark arcs like the Umbara Arc, where the Clones of the 501'st garrison, who are usually under the command of Anikin Skywalker and Ashoka Tano, are put under the command of Pong Krell, a well-revered Jedi General....... but who doesn't have the clone's safety in mind. In fact, he goes out of his way to get as many of them killed as possible, even pitting two garrisons against each other, resulting in the death of well-loved clone, Waxer, known for, in the first season, having forged an older brother relationship with a young Twi'Leki girl known as Numa. There's a little drawing of her on his helmet. My favorite clone also fucking dies in this arc sacrificing himself on an unauthorized mission so that the Republic could win the overall battle, which Ping Krell was attempting to prevent. I miss him every fucking day he literally is so real, his name was Hardcase, he was all but confirmed to have had ADHD, and he was so, so dear to me.

The arc right after that is about slave trade. They all get sold into slave trade in order to dismantle it from within. It's extremely brutal. Like there's straight-up electric shock torture and brutal forced manual labor and shit. It's fucking WILD.

Not to mention the entire arc with Fives, Tup, and Order 66.

And then there's also an arc where Dooku, Obi-Wan, and Anikin all get captured by local goofy ass pirate lord Hono Ohnaka (TRUE icon, he's hilarious I love him so much), and have to work together despite being mortal enemies. And an arc where Obi-Wan fakes his entire fucking death, goes BALD, and impersonates a bounty hunter so he can sabotage????? Bounty Hunter Hunger Games??? Idk been a while since I watched the full show just trust me there were some GOOFY arcs that are truly fun and silly.

Also it's the show that introduced, like, my favorite star wars character of all time: Ashoka Tano, and we get to watch her grow from a generally pretty annoying 14 year old, to a war-hardened Commander at 16, losing her faith in the Jedi and leaving, and then using her previous ties to the Jedi to assist in a reclaiming of Mandalore, the home planet of Mandalorians, for the Mandalorians, and then watching her, once again, lose everything in Order 66. She's so overwhelmingly dear to me. You have no idea

Honorable mentions!!

The Book of Boba Fett: I love him, this was a good show, I just think it could have been so much fucking better and I was pretty disappointed in it

Obi Wan: Introduced Reva, love of my life Reva, Reva Sevander, my favorite girlie ever. Also confirmed that Quinlan Vos survived Order 66 which made Me really happy.

Ashoka (her book, lol): I just love Ashoka

Phasma: I'm not a fan of the most recent star wars movie trilogy, but GOD Phasma had so much potential to be an amazing villain and I got her book bc I was just getting into Star Wars books at the time and she's so!??? RUTHLESS and the book is so good

[korechthonia]

I posted 940 times in 2022

8 posts created (1%)

932 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kckenobi

@glimmerglanger

@gabelandeskog

@aimmyarrowshigh

I tagged 940 of my posts in 2022

#this is a star wars tag - 307 posts

#this is a hockey tag - 157 posts

#fandom my heart - 70 posts

#this is a canucks tag - 56 posts

#fluff - 51 posts

#this is a goncharov tag - 45 posts

#things that amuse me - 41 posts

#this is a pride and prejudice tag - 30 posts

#things that matter - 25 posts

#things that are exquisite - 24 posts

My Top Posts in 2022:

#3

Tarsus IV was home to approximately 4000 farmers, 2500 craftspeople, 1500 kids, 100 administrators, and 5 medical professionals. Maybe there were some other kinds of people, but Leonard hadn't had the chance to look at the full briefing details until they were on the shuttle, and trying to read it then had just made him nauseous. But the gist was clear - a small pastoral community, perfect for saving up for a diamond for Jocelyn while he worked his way through his residency.

...

somehow if this was something I could write, the following would happen:

JT Kirk and his kids running around the outskirts looking for food and resources from anyone with a heart

Leonard stuck in clinic hating his life because he can't do everything he wants to do to help

Guilt complex about being "important" enough to live

sneaking food but not too much because he wants to help but it's more helpful if he can get them some for longer

Daring caper in which "use this hypo to treat injury before I need the case in the cupboard for inventory in just a few hours"

Leonard loses mentor (in riots? pissed off Kodos? starvation induced because they were independently helping JT and kids)

Leonard has to treat Kodos/Lenore/his guards/someone else awful for something stupid minor

no wait, definitely Lenore, definitely something that leaves an unmistakable though not broadly visible scar

something dire happens/someone is caught just before Starfleet makes it there

he gets called Bones because "skin and bones" which prompts eyebrow raise at Jim because look who's talking

Jocelyn does not get a ring

somehow this would become the roots of Jim/Bones, but not until they split apart and then meet again at the Academy (but probably later)

depending how to play this: either they recognize each other, or completely unrelatedly Jim produces the same nickname and (cue PTSD triggers)

and then once they're on the enterprise...

conscience of the king except Bones and Jim both recognize Kodos

or no, wait, Jim recognizes Kodos, but Bones recognizes Lenore (they are both very much at risk)

every moment Jim and Lenore flirt, Bones loses a year of his life

the rule of max angst says they both don't reveal that they were on Tarsus until this disaster, but I think that might be stretching things unless they didn't interact much on Tarsus because my initial thought said

idk how it resolves, just happily

loosely inspired by https://archiveofourown.org/works/24977341, but like, one phrase of it

(this is an adoptable plot bunny)

3 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

#2

Goncharov has 0 actual characters, and thus serves as a fascinating case study in stats regarding slash and femslash. Most prominently, appears to pretty conclusively back up the assertion that not having multiple interesting female characters results in a fandom having a majority of slash. Given the prominent roles of Sofia and Katya (despite only Katya being listed on the poster), Goncharov (1973) dir. Martin Scorsese - beelzeebub has much lower proportions of m/m slash than the AO3 average, and is in fact a femslash powerhouse.

10 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Okay so, let's mash up 2 jangobi tropes that spark joy, and:

The Mand'alor always has a soulmark, leading them to their Be'alor, the other half of their soul. It starts without colour, then burns and gets colour when they meet, or something along those lines, and then everyone who's sworn the Resol'nare can sense and will protect the Be'alor. Right?

But Jango after Galidraan is sold into slavery on a spice ship and honestly it is hell and also he is basically always high and also fully attired (in rags, but you know, the important part is doesn't see the soul mark, like, ever. slavery is bad for hygiene.)

And poor obi-wan in one of his stints in slavery (possibly but not necessarily tied to bandomeer, he gets in enough trouble) and ends up on the slave ship and Jango takes care of him because that is an ad and he is suffering. But also because soulmate.

And then they get off the ship and go their separate ways, and then they realize individually that they met their soulmate but they can't go and try and find them because handwavy plot reason. Mad about it, unhealthy, broke, Jedi duty, whatever.

So then Obi-Wan gets to go to Mandalore! And things start going weird immediately. There is a lot of "wtf is a Be'alor" and "but I've never met a Mandalorian before!" from Obi-Wan and "that's literally a Mandalorian plant on your chest clearly you have" and lessons in Mando'a and culture and fighting from some of the Mandos and "trust in the force" from Qui-Gon probably.

Meanwhile the Ha'atade are protecting Satine to protect Obi-Wan and also searching the galaxy for Jango. And also Kyr'stad are infuriating and try to steal Obi-Wan so then Ha'atade are protecting him too.

it takes a while to find Jango, but then they do, and it's just like... "oh. oh. it's you." and then deep desperate clinging hug because it doesn't matter that you hate Jedi, that is someone you went through hell with. (and then some "I should have known" "but you couldn't have found me")

and then they all yell and fight and fall in love and live happily ever after.

21 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[joostsblog]

Love/Hate me more [tom holland smut] part one

Pairing: Tom Holland x actress!reader

Description: You and your co-star Tom Holland can't seem to get along. After the big premiere of your movie, things change.

Word Count: 9.5k (4.6k words of pure smut)

A/N: This is part of @venomsilk's valentine bingo! See my valentine bingo card attached at the end of the post. If you do not want to get spoiled: don't read the tags and warnings and be surprised! I hope you enjoy it!

Part two is out now here!

Tagging inspo pics

Tags: actress!reader, coworkers, enemies to lovers, fake dating, unhappy ending

Warnings: SMUT (18+), swearing, angst, pwp, PIV, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), cockwarming, fingering, spanking, oral (m&f receiving), dom!tom but also slight dom!reader at some point, slight choking, namecalling (s word), 'hatefucking'

Tom had a very good reputation. Almost spotless. Always punctual, always nice - almost courteous - and such a pleasure to work with. No logic could explain then why you and him just could not stand each other. When you were cast to play opposite Tom Holland in a spy thriller you were excited at first. So how come from the first time you met you both despised each other?

He always got on your nerves with his optimism and endless talking. Always energetically running around set, always charming everyone. He was like a small golden retriever puppy, who never stopped barking. This would be a positive for most people, but needless to say, you were a cat person.

In ways, you were also more like a cat. Calm, strategic, elegant, maybe a little judgmental and sometimes even snippy but always professional. From the get-go, you both knew that you wouldn't be friends. He's just too annoying.

On-screen you were playing spies working for opposite sides. Slowly they turn from rivals into lovers until they both unknowingly double-cross their own side to save each other.

Off-screen you developed a rivalry as well (only that it didn't turn into love). Everyone around you seemed to be oblivious to your spiel. Maybe they thought you both just went full method but secretly have mutual respect and admiration for each other (which obviously wasn't the case). But it was fine. You both avoided each other as best as you could on set. Delivering on your scenes like professionals, bickering with each other between takes, rolling eyes when you thought the other person wouldn't be able to see. You probably completely ruined the studio's chances of making a gag reel since all of the footage where one of you would mess up would just show the other person visibly annoyed.

Eventually, you had to reunite for a press tour, where the both of you did a fantastic job of convincing the public that you were actually very close friends, always praising each other (which you hated because Tom knew full well that he was a great actor) and making up set stories that never happened. Apparently, some fans were convinced that there was something more between you (dozens of YouTube videos compiling 'flirtatious' moments between the two of you could attest to that). Seemingly, your bickering read more like flirting. So much so, that halfway through the press tour the film studio approached you and Tom and heavily suggested you up the flirtations. The fans ate it up - fully convinced now that you had been secretly dating since shooting the movie.

The week before the premiere in Los Angeles the studio called you in for another quick meeting. This time they had more concrete plans. They presented a strategy that would include shots of the two of you "getting cosy" on the beach which the paparazzi would coincidentally take. And then the two of you would attend the premiere together, walk the red carpet and give everyone a little bit of a show ("Actually, nothing is off-limits").

You both agreed. After all, it's just a job, right? It's just acting.

Which is how you ended up on the sidewalk of the hotel you stayed at, waiting to be picked up by Tom. He was 10 minutes late, of course, when he pulled up in this ridiculous Porsche. You didn't care for cars. You drove yourself if you absolutely had to. But you never really liked the type of man who was like super into cars for some weird reason (using cars as a status symbol). You would take a long ride on a crammed up bus with poor ventilation any day if it meant you wouldn't be trapped in a ritzy car with one Tom Holland. When you got into the car, Tom didn't even bother to turn down the loud music blasting through the speakers.

"You're late," you snipped.

No response.

The car's engine roared obnoxiously as Tom pressed his foot down on the gas pedal. You rolled your eyes.

"We should probably get into the mood of actually liking each other," you suggested after a few minutes of silence, struggling to speak loud enough over the music.

"What? You don't like me?" Tom said sarcastically while putting on an obvious fake smile.

"I would like you more if you turned down your stupid radio pop music," you said. Tom rolled his eyes at you and turned off the music.

"You would prefer if I played some of your pretentious indie music," he said putting indie into air quotes.

"Yes, I would actually"

"You know, I'm surprised that you even acted in this big mainstream movie since it's not real cinema," air quotes again.

You knew that his characterisation of you was right, but you weren't gonna let him have this point.

"You know, I had perfectly fine plans for this afternoon, maybe watching a good film, but since I'm stuck with you, you could maybe make it suck a little less if you weren't so annoying as usual,"

"Yeah, I see you put on something nice for a change," Tom joked in reference to the outfit you were wearing. You hated that you had to put on something cute and make yourself presentable for Tom.

"I see you didn't return the favour," you shot back.

Surprisingly, Tom didn't take offence to your remark but laughed instead. Even more surprisingly, now you had to fight back a small grin appearing on your lips yourself.

"I was thinking, since there are different societal expectations for actors and actresses in the current patriarchal state of Hollywood, nobody would care that the man of the couple would turn up in a white tee and pair of jeans to a date," Tom said clearly parodying your characteristically snappish line of delivery.

"I- wh- did-," you stammered briefly before deciding on "excuse me?"

You looked at Tom, taken aback. You couldn't tell whether he believed in what he just said or whether he said this to take the piss out of you. "Did you just use my own arguments against me?" How dare Tom use what you taught him against you when before, he wouldn't even have been able to construct such a sentence. How dare he out-woke you.

"Don't act as if it's your original thought," Tom shot back with a raised eyebrow (he was right, you shouldn't).

"I know"

"Besides, shouldn't you break those social norms by not playing into those stereotypes?" he added.

"You, out of all people, don't get to tell me what I should do or shouldn't do to be a good feminist," you said as Tom was narrowly close to seriously angering you.

"I'm taking the piss," Tom said, almost softly.

"Well, I need you to shut up"

You side-eyed Tom and saw that he was looking at you with an amused smirk. You could tell that he was holding himself back from saying something which would probably make your blood boil (thank god, he respected your request and kept his mouth shut).

After a few minutes, you noticed Tom looking at you again. You glared at him before going back to look at your phone. At the next red light, you looked up to see him stare at you again.

"What? Get your eyes on the road," you said annoyed, maybe a little nervous that he was looking at you for so long.

"If I may speak..." Tom said smirking.

"Oh my god, what is it?"

"We're almost there and just purely for the sake of the cameras - believe me, I wouldn't dare to do so otherwise, you know that I find you absolutely repulsive", you knew that he was joking with at least the last part.

"Misogynist," you quipped.

"- we should maybe try to at least act like we can stand each other... I don't know, just a suggestion," Tom smirked.

"I'm a decent actress but I don't know if I can do that," you said.

"y/n, you're a brilliant actress!" Tom said mimicking the tone he would use in interviews to praise you.

You realised that you were dangerously close to actually enjoying Tom's presence and the banter you had. You caught Tom looking at you to check for your reaction but you weren't gonna give him that satisfaction, so you just returned a blank stare.

"Alright, director's note," Tom said. "You could try to let me hold your hand maybe or let me put your arm around you at least once. We really should touch at one point. You could laugh at my jokes- wait, you already do that-"

"Shut up"

Tom continued "You could maybe look at me lovingly since we're actually supposed to be in love..."

"Now, that is above my pay grade," you said and Tom laughed, again.

Soon after Tom parked the car on the side of the street and you got out. It was a warm spring day in Los Angeles, the sun shining down on the beach. Tom walked around the car to join you and put his arm around your waist.

"Are the paparazzi already here?" you asked.

"You can never know," Tom said and led you down to the beach to take a stroll.

"Let me put on my sunglasses so I don't have to look at you," you said after a while and Tom laughed over-exaggerated (clearly making a show for the cameras). "I know, I'm too funny," you said.

"Don't flatter yourself, we're on camera," Tom said head softly pointing to a paparazzo in the distance taking pictures of you.

You walked another hundred feet until you slightly shrugged your shoulders, feeling the need to free yourself from Tom's hold on you. Getting the signal, Tom dropped his arm from your waist (without any snarky comment, much to your surprise).

You looked around, out to the sea, up to the soft and few clouds, admiring this beautiful day. You didn't know that such a day wouldn't automatically be ruined by Tom's presence. When your gaze grazed Tom's figure beside you, you noticed him staring at you, his facial expression unreadable.

"Creep," you said.

"What? Am I not allowed to admire my beautiful girlfriend?" Tom joked and your heart fluttered briefly (what?). You rolled your eyes and theatrically pretended to gag until you stopped yourself, remembering you were on camera. "What the fuck," Tom laughed loudly and blood rushed to your face, embarrassed by your mistake.

You tried making up for it by wrapping your arms around Tom to hug him closely. Tom's arms quickly wrapped around you as well, still laughing.

"D'you think they got the shot?" you asked after a while.

"Hm, not yet," Tom said and you didn't protest.

A few days later you were stood beside Tom again. You were wearing a dark green long dress that was hugging your figure in all the right places. Flashing lights were almost blinding your eyes and the shouting of the photographers drowned out every other conceivable noise.

"Here! Tom! Here! y/n! Tom! Give us a kiss!"

It should have been you all by yourself, the paparazzi only shouting your name. Instead, you had to force a convincing smile on your face as the photographers and journalists were only interested in the much more famous Tom Holland or your relationship with him (you knew that it wasn't Tom's fault, but it only added another bullet point to your list of reasons why you couldn't stand him). Tom's arm was wrapped around your waist, his skin tickling you where the back cut out of your dress revealed your skin as he tried everything to avoid touching you there.

You turned your body to face Tom and put your hand on his chest while locking eyes with him. Almost like a reflex, you both smiled at each other lovingly before you both looked at the flashing cameras again.

You kept up the pretence a bit longer until your assistants rushed you along the red carpet to get a few shots of you on your own before you moved along to interviews. There you tried to duck personal questions about your relationship as best as you could by just talking about the movie and telling more lies about each other ("Yeah, he's just the best!" and "She's the sweetest girl you'll ever meet" and "He's the most fun to work with").

"You have such great chemistry on screen! How do you do it?" the interviewer asked immediately as you started your last interview on the red carpet.

"Oh, I have no idea, how we do it," "Thankfully, we're actors,"

You both joked at the same time.

"But really also off-screen," the interviewer continued laughing. "It seems like the whole internet is obsessed with you right now. I just love how you constantly tease each other... It really must be true what they say: teasing is a sign of affection,"

Both you and Tom nervously laughed.

"Right," Tom said.

"You got it all wrong," you said fake laughing. "Tom's the worst, I hate him, I could strangle him," you said and pretended to theatrically choke him with your hands. Tom played along by putting on a shocked facial expression, which made the interviewer laugh.

"You two are the sweetest," she said and you side-eyed Tom when you removed your hands from his throat. "But what's the scoop here, can you tell us more about your relationship?"

"Oh, y/n is just the best to work with, always so positive and fun on set," (lies) "she's so supportive of me and my work," (more lies) "and besides that, I really admire her as a close friend and a- uhm-yeah," (the biggest lie) "but we can't deny nor confirm anything," Tom winked.

"Thank you, have a good night!" the interviewer said and shook both of your hands.

"Great work," Tom whispered a little too close into your ear as you walked away from the interview. His arm was placed low around your waist which you barely allowed.

"Likewise," you muttered.

Tom dropped his arm from your waist as you were out of sight of the paparazzi. As soon as you were sat in your seat in the theatre to watch the movie, you turned it all off. Even though you were sitting beside each other, you didn't exchange a word until the lights got dimmed and the screen in front of you got illuminated.

"You can take off your shoes now," Tom whispered as he leaned over to you just a bit. In one of the interviews, you had joked that your shoes were killing you and that you couldn't wait to take them off.

"Right," you mumbled and went to take them off (slightly confused that Tom remembered or cared ).

As you leaned back into your seat you turned to look at Tom only to see that his eyes were fixated on you still. For a few seconds, your eyes were locked and you tried to get a grasp of what Tom was thinking. As the music of the first scene was filling the auditorium you both turned to look at the screen and ignore each other again.

You tried to forget about Tom's presence beside you and just enjoy the movie and the audience reactions. You were happy and also a bit proud of yourself whenever the audience laughed as your character cracked a joke or whenever they gasped as you pulled off an impressive fight move. Some audience members even cheered when the final kissing scene came on. You laughed in your seat to conceal the blood that was rushing to your face (which was a bad move because it made Tom look at you with a raised brow which only caused your face to become even hotter).

As the credits began rolling, the auditorium cheered as each actor's name got shown (Tom's name was first, of course). You had to fight back tears as everyone was cheering at your name (even Tom was clapping and cheering - maybe as not to be rude).

After one short cut hour at the after-party, mingling with your industry friends, you knew that it was time for the big finale of the night. The studio had arranged for you and Tom to leave the premiere in a limousine together. One last time you both walked across the red carpet, laughing and giggling as Tom's arm was wrapped around your figure again. You were waving to the fans still waiting behind the barricades and the paparazzi taking pictures and videos of you. As you arrived at the car you both turned to the photographers one last time to pose for pictures.

"Beautiful! Tom! y/n! Smile! Give us a kiss! Come on!"

Again, you both turned to look at each other lovingly. If you didn't know any better, you would have believed that it was real. Your smiles were gone now, eyes more lustful maybe. As the shouting of the people around you cheered you on you decided to go in. You leaned forward slowly, giving Tom a chance to back away until you captured Tom's lips in a kiss. Tom's hand was resting on your back as he leaned forward and dipped you slightly backwards (almost theatrical).

You remembered Tom's lips (soft and sweet) as you had to kiss a thousand times on set. But this time it felt different. It wasn't planned, improvised, almost organic while still being staged. Shivers were running down your spine where Tom's fingers were lingering. Even though you couldn't stand the man, you had to admit that he was endlessly attractive. It made this kiss be the most pleasant part of your fake relationship scenario so far.

When you ended the kiss you tried avoiding Tom's gaze as you waved to the cameras one last time before getting into the car, Tom close behind you.

"What the fuck?" Tom said as soon as the door closed.

"Come on, don't pretend like it's my fault," you said rolling your eyes as you sat down.

"Why did you do that?" Tom said, brows furrowed.

"Why not? We were supposed to give them a show," you said as the car started moving. "We've kissed before - why are you making such a big fuss about this?"

"Not like this," Tom said.

"This is no different," you countered, face serious. "Tom Holland, I could kiss you a thousand times and it wouldn't mean a thing."

Tom was visibly taken aback and didn't speak for a few seconds.

"Right, because you hate me too much..." he said eventually. You didn't like that Tom was upset with you. Ever since the press tour, it seemed like your rivalry consisted of joking bickering, not of serious hatred for each other.

"Hate is a strong word, I don't ha-" you said before he interrupted you.

"Oh, come on!" he said rolling his eyes.

"See? At least it's mutual," you pointed out his exaggerated reaction.

"Oh, you think I-" Tom started before he stopped himself and decided to ignore you.

He looked out of the tinted windows. He was sat only a few feet across from you. One bump on the road and your knees would touch.

"I don't get you," Tom turned to look at you again. "One day I think you actually enjoy spending time with me for a few hours and then you pull off shit like this," another pause ensued. "You're driving me insane."

Your eyes were locked with his. Your forehead was wrinkled, actually worrying that you took it too far, that you overstepped, no regard for his boundaries. For a second you considered actually apologising for kissing him.

"I could kiss you a thousand times and it wouldn't mean a thing," he mocked your tone. "I know we fuck around and shit but sometimes you-" Tom stopped himself, not looking at you. "but sometimes you say really hurtful shit,"

Oh. He wasn't upset with you that you kissed him. He was upset because of what you said afterwards.

"Well, to be fair, you do also say hurtful shit sometimes,"

Tom didn't answer and you sat in silence for a good five minutes. When you looked up again you saw Tom staring at you sternly. You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to read him. Tom mimicked you, also narrowing his eyes and tilting his head slightly. You nervously huffed out a puff of air which was supposed to be a soft laugh. In return, you caught a glimpse of something in Tom's eyes (something playful, maybe even lustful) and his lips slowly formed into a daring smirk. You discarded your small purse on the seat beside you, anticipating Tom's next move. Tom leaned back in his seat, his legs spreading slightly.

"Come here," he said and your heart stopped for a second.

"Wha-?" you said, the word getting stuck in your dry throat halfway through.

"Come here and kiss me," he said. "It doesn't mean anything, right?"

Heat rushed through your veins immediately. Nothing in you could stop you from slowly leaning forward (and nothing in you wanted to stop). Tom extended a hand until he cupped your cheek. He brought his face forward as well until your lips collided. The kiss was soft at first, testing the waters until soon both of your lips moved against each other hungrily. You got up from your seat and stumbled forward until you fell into Tom's lap, using your hands to steady yourself on his chest. Instead of breaking the kiss, your lips moved against each other faster.

You tried to position each of your legs beside Tom so you could properly straddle his lap. However, your tight dress hindered you from doing so. Realising your struggle, Tom grabbed the bottom of your gown and slowly pushed it up to your thighs, his hands leaving hot shivers along your skin as his spread apart fingers raked up your thighs. Still not breaking the kiss you were now straddling Tom, his hands lingering on your thighs. As Tom tightened his grip around your skin, you let a moan escape your lips. Breaking the kiss, he looked at you with a raised eyebrow and a smirk on his lips.

"Oh, don't get cocky," you rolled your eyes.

"You must be the greatest actress alive if this doesn't do anything for you," he smirked and your heart fluttered just a bit. You didn't know that making Tom smile would feel so good (if you'd known, you would have tried earlier).

This time Tom's lips latched onto your neck. His mouth roamed your skin as he used in hands to push you closer to him. You grabbed a handful of Tom's hair and let your head fall back so he could kiss along your skin easier. You let out another moan when Tom's hands started to massage at your butt under your dress.

"That's it, little slut," Tom whispered lowly. "Let yourself go,"

Another moan toppled out of your mouth.

Soon Tom's lips trailed along the straps of your dress before slowly pushing one strap down your shoulder when you didn't interject. Using one hand, Tom's fingers almost delicately pushed the fabric of your dress down to slowly reveal you only covered in a strapless bra.

Before anything else happened, the limousine stopped.

"We're at your place, Mr Holland," the driver informed you, his voice muffled by the closed partition.

Tom looked at you, eyes dark.

"Do you want me to-"

"Yes," Tom interrupted you before your could finish, knowing what you wanted to say.

Quickly you pulled up your dress again and scrambled for your purse on the car seat as Tom was already getting out of the door.

"No need to drive me home. Have a good night!" you thanked the driver.

"Have a good night, Ma'am," the driver replied.

"Ma'am," Tom repeated as he was stood beside the car door. He held out one hand for you to take as you got out. You narrowed your eyes at him playfully as you took his hand and he led you to his front door.

After Tom unlocked the door and you stepped in, you immediately kicked off your high heels and made your way through Tom's living room. You had never been at his LA house but walking out into the backyard you knew exactly what you were looking for.

"So, this is that hot tub you always brag about?" you asked with a grin as you turned around to face Tom closely following behind you. Tom returned your grin.

"I think you might have too many clothes on your body to get in there," he said and kissed you again.

You slipped your arms underneath Tom's suit jacket and grabbed at his dress shirt, ruffling it in your grip. As his hands found the zipper at the back of your dress another moan escaped your mouth, this time being fully swallowed by his lips. With your grip, you yanked Tom's shirt out of his trousers and went to find the buckle of his belt next. In the meantime Tom had undone the zipper, groaning into your lips, and pushed the fabric of your dress down your body.

"Careful, this isn't mine," you said, breaking the kiss.

Tom took the note as you stepped out of the dress and gathered it up. Carefully he folded the dress and placed it on a table by the glass slide door. As he turned around again he took off his suit jacket and eyed you up and down as you were standing there, only dressed in your strapless bra and panties. When he was stood before you again he placed one hand on the side of your neck, the other on the side of your waist and turned you around until your back was flush with his fully clothed front. His hand was now wrapped around your neck, his breath hot on your exposed skin.

"If I only knew this is what it takes to finally make you shut up, I would have done this much sooner," he whispered, his lips grazing the skin of your neck. You moaned and pushed your ass to the front of Tom's trousers, feeling his hard erection through the fabric. "Needy, huh?" Tom's other hand sneaked around your torso and slowly slid down to your panties. As his fingers pressed down on the fabric he could feel that they were already drenched in your juices. "So, so needy," Tom groaned. "Come on, let's add a little dialogue to your performance. What do you want?"

"I want to suck your cock," you moaned, your head falling back against Tom's shoulder.

"My god," Tom breathed out. "Such a dirty little slut," he murmured against your skin. "On your knees then," You complied and watched as Tom took off his shirt and unbuckled his belt until his hard cock was freed. He placed on hand on your cheek, almost lovingly until he pushed his thumb past your lips into your mouth. "What else do you want, baby girl?" he demanded. Calling you baby girl maybe was a little slip of the tongue.

"Your-", you swallowed around Tom's thumb. "I want your cock inside me. I want you to make me cum. I want you to pound into me until I scream."

"Fuck," Tom muttered and grabbed the sides of your face. "I don't know if you deserve that yet, you're lucky if I do that," he said and brought your face towards his cock.

Your mouth was wide open as you took his length into your mouth. Tom's thumb softly stroked your cheek as you looked up to him innocently. Your tongue twirled around his cock as your lips were stretching around his base. Slowly you began bopping your head and moving your mouth along his member, sucking hard.

"You're taking me so well," Tom praised and you noticed his hips slightly stuttering.

You narrowed your eyes and you touched a hand to his hip. This was the first time you touched him in such an intimate place (aside from his dick being swallowed by your mouth) and it felt so delicately personal. With your hand on his hip, you motioned for him to thrust into your mouth. Tightening the grip on your face, Tom started to thrust into your mouth as you hallowed your cheeks.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he muttered under his breath until he couldn't take it anymore and stopped himself. "You're too good," he told you as he pulled out, leaving your mouth empty. "Get into the hot tub," he demanded as he let go of your face and you complied. As he got in, you sat down on his lap immediately, the warm water hugging your body.

"I hope you don't get too comfortable commanding me around," you said and reached behind your back to undo your bra's clasp to reveal your breasts. Tom grinned as he eyed you up and down daringly. "I'm gonna fuck you until you're begging to cum," you said.

"You? Really? Because I think you're gonna be the one begging," Tom said with a raised eyebrow.

"Challenge accepted,"

You hooked your thumb into your panties, pulled them down and completely disregarded them by the poolside. Holding yourself up by Tom's shoulders you positioned yourself above his cock until you lowered yourself onto him. The resistance of the water made it harder for him to slip into you so Tom used his hand to guide himself into you. When you were completely seated on his lap you locked eyes with his. As the both of you leaned forward for a kiss, your teeth clacked against each other making you laugh before Tom swallowed the sound with his lips. Moaning into the kiss you started moving on his cock. Tom wrapped his arms around your body and so did you engulfing him in a hug. It felt intimate and made your heart beat fast to feel your bare chest pressed against Tom's. A feeling you didn't know you craved before.

As you rolled your hips against his, you could feel the tip of his cock nudging you in all the right places. Burrowing your face into his neck you let the moans spill out from your mouth. Biting down on his neck you remembered that you were supposed to make him beg for you. So you tried to hold back your moans and rolled your hips harder.

"Come on, fuck me like you hate me," Tom challenged. For a brief moment, you stopped in your movements before you gritted your teeth. You wrapped one hand around Tom's neck and picked up speed again. This time not caring too much about how sensual your movements would feel for Tom - the harder, the better. "That's more like it," Tom said pleased.

"Quiet," you hissed and ground down into Tom's lap harder while clenching your pussy around him. Tom's low groans grew into breathy moans as the pleasure was rolling over his body. "I said to be quiet," you repeated and tightened the grip around his neck.

To hold back his moans, Tom bit down on his lip hard and let his head fall back (which left you with the most beautiful and heavenly view in front of you). "Fuckfuckfuck," Tom muttered as he couldn't hold back his sounds anymore. "Stop," he huffed out and you did. His hands softly massaged on your waist as he was trying to catch his breath and you let go of his neck. "I don't want to come yet," he said as he sat up straight again. The sight in front of you was to die for. His pupils were blown out, hair ruffled, some strands wet, his lips swollen and his cheeks red.

"What? You can't keep up?", you teased and Tom laughed.

"Oh, we both know that you're the unathletic one. Riding me like this in the water must mean your thighs are burning now," he wasn't wrong.

"But I win the challenge," you insisted.

"Wha- no! I wasn't begging for anything, my darling," Tom smirked and your heart skipped a beat. "What? No rebuttal? Did that darling just knock you out or what?" Tom teased you when you didn't answer.

"Never," you said and softly punched him in the shoulder.

Tom surprised you when one of his hands came up to cup your face and bring you down for a kiss. The kiss would've almost felt romantic if it weren't for Tom's other hand sneaking up to touch your left boob. He broke the kiss to latch his lips onto your nipple. As you were still taking the full length of Tom's cock you went to move yourself on him again but he made you stop with his hand. You were seated in his lap, warm water bubbling around you and his thick cock filling you up as he sucked on your nipple.

Soon his other hand sneaked to your front to finally touch you. It took everything in you not to roll your hips against Tom's when his fingers began circling around your clitoris, massaging your nerve endings. As Tom's teeth sunk into the skin of your breast you let your head fall back. A multitude of delicious moans spilt out of your mouth when his fingers applied just the right amount of pressure on your clit.

"Such a dirty little slut, such a good girl for me," Tom breathed against your skin as he was leaving kisses against your breasts. "Acting as if you hate me when you really just wanted to get railed by me," he hissed and moved his fingers faster on your clit. "You just wanted me to fuck you, till you can't walk straight anymore. You should've let me known earlier, you dirty slut," Instinctively, your hips jolted against his. "Don't move," Tom demanded his hand on your neck again. "Don't move or I won't let you cum," he warned. "Do you want to come, baby girl?" he asked. Before you could hold yourself back any longer you let the words spill out of your mouth.

"Yes, please- I want to cum- I want to cum so bad," you pleaded.

Tom's mouth went to your nipple again and his fingers worked harder on your clit until you couldn't hold back any longer. With a series of moans, you came undone around him, your pussy clenching around his thick cock. Tom's fingers rode out your orgasm until you were only a whimpering mess on top of him. His arms engulfed you into a comforting hug.

"Did I allow you to cum yet?" Tom asked when you pulled back.

"I- wh-," you tried.

"I don't think I did," he interrupted you. "Maybe you're not such a good girl after all," he said and you whimpered needily. He noticed the goosebumps forming on your shoulders and softly kissed there. "If you get off me, I can get you a towel and I can make you cum in my bedroom for a change."

Tom wrapping you up in a towel topped off with a hug really shouldn't feel as good as it did. When he placed a kiss on top of your head you had to wonder whether the both of you finally dropped the pretence of hating each other.

A few minutes later Tom delicately placed you on top of his bed, on your back, towel still wrapped around you. He joined you between your legs, hands carefully pushing the fabric up until he faced your pussy. Immediately, he went to lick along your folds, his lips landing on your clit, still sensitive from your first orgasm. Tom's hands were placed on top of your thighs, softly caressing there when he could feel your hips bucking from the sensation overload.

"I know you can take it," he murmured against your skin and continued to suck harder on your clit.

Tom moved one hand to your entrance and slipped two fingers into you. Slowly he started to move the fingers in and out of you and patiently listened to your whimpers. Angling his fingertips towards your belly, they pressed down on that sensitive spot on your walls, making your breath hitch. As another wave of pleasure crashed over your body, you couldn't hold back any longer, giving way to another orgasm. You arched your back off the bed and grabbed a fistful of the sheets into your hand as you rode out your orgasm.

Tom kissed the top of your thigh and just when you were about to catch your breath again, he kissed up to your entrance and licked around it until he inserted his tongue. Even though his tongue felt soft in your hole, the stimulation from your orgasm heightened the sensation. Reflexively, you burrowed your hand into his hair which made him moan around your body. Bringing up his hand Tom touched your clit again which made you jolt sharply. Carefully Tom massaged around your clit while his tongue explored your hole as best as he could. With the after-effects of your last orgasm, it only took a few more strokes until you were orgasming again, whimpering and moaning. When Tom moved up from between your legs a big smirk was plastered on his lips.

"What?" you rolled your eyes.

"Nothing," Tom shrugged above you. "You just whimpered my name when you came," he grinned.

"I did not," you said, face hot with embarrassment.

"You did," Tom insisted. "Tomtomtommytommy-yes," he mimicked your high pitched moans.

"Shut up or I'll leave," you said and shoved his shoulder lightly.

"Okay, okay," Tom laughed. "Please stay," he said and gently moved the towel off you.

"Only if you fuck me finally," you challenged.

Tom groaned, smile now wiped from his face. He complied by swiftly sliding into you. Your eyes were locked as you adjusted around his length (maybe this was your most intimate moment yet). Tom wrapped his arms around you while you wrapped your legs around his waist. His chest was pressed against yours, feeling him so close to you sent your heart on a rollercoaster. Slowly he began finally moving in and out of you.

"Yes, fuck me," you moaned into his ear.

Tom groaned and picked up speed in response, thrusting into you harder and faster. The stimulation from your previous orgasms was still lingering and sending hot sensations through your body as Tom pounded into you.

"You're so tight for me, so good," Tom moaned into your skin as the bed squeaked below the two of you. "So good," Suddenly Tom slipped out of you. "Turn around," he commanded.

As you turned around you wanted to position yourself on your hands and knees but felt too overwhelmed. So instead you laid on your front and bend one of your legs so that you could push up your ass for Tom.

"So beautiful," Tom praised and let a hand come down hard on your ass cheek to slap it.

Swiftly he entered you again to thrust hard into you from behind. The soreness from your previous orgasms only enhanced the sensation of Tom's thick cock pounding into you. He was using one hand to hold himself up and the other to gather a handful of your hair firmly tugging it without hurting you. Tom's chest was pressed against your back and you were longing to feel every inch of his body.

"You're so good, taking me," Tom praised gritting through his teeth. "I can't get enough of your angelic sounds," he said which only made you moan more. "I'm close."

Tom thrust into your harder until he bit down on your shoulder to muffle his groan as his hips faltered and you could feel his warm liquid shoot deep into you. As Tom's thrust came to a halt you could hear his panting beside your ear until he pulled out and laid down beside you. You turned your head to face him. You grinned sheepishly at him and he chuckled.

"I'm not done with you," he said while stroking your hair almost gently.

Tom leaned forward and captured your lips in a hard kiss while using his hands to push you to lay on your back. When you felt Tom's tip nudge at your entrance your hips jolted to meet him. Still kissing you he softly stroked your cheek before breaking the kiss to look down at you.

"Stay still," he instructed and you nodded silently.

Tom's penis was softer after his orgasm but still hard enough to be able to fuck you. Using his tip he smeared the cum which had leaked out of you around your hole.

"So pretty," he praised. "My dirty little slut"

Slowly Tom slipped just about an inch of his cock into you before he stopped.

"Oh my god," you whimpered, feeling your entrance stretch around his tip. "feels so good"

Tom's lips turned into a smirk as he pulled out of you only for him to push back into again. Excruciatingly slow Tom pushed and pulled in and out of you, only ever entering his tip. You knew he was doing everything in him to hold himself back from fucking into you relentlessly. The sensation of Tom's tip stretching your hole mixed with the after-effects of your three orgasms felt absolutely divine. At the same time, by only pushing into you an inch Tom was teasing you in the worst way possible. You just wished he would pound into you again, make you feel all of his length between your walls.

"fuckfuckfuck," whimpers spilt out of your mouth uncontrollably.

Suddenly, you felt Tom's finger on your sensitive bud again. With your eyes forcibly pressed shut, it took everything in you not to cum again right then and there. Gradually he began massaging your clit again and you knew you weren't gonna last long.

"Keep your eyes open," Tom commanded. "Look at me," you opened your eyes and looked at Tom, completely exposed, spread out in front of him, completely submissive to his touch. "Good girl," he praised.

As Tom pressed down on your clit and pushed into you again you couldn't hold back any longer. Your breathing stopped for a second before you came around Tom's tip, your back arching off the bed but your eyes still locked with his dark eyes. As the stimulation became too much on your clit you begged Tom to stop touching you, barely able to form any words at this point. Tom stopped touching your clitoris but still pushed in and out of you, blurring your vision. Your hips were trembling uncontrollably.

"Fuck me, fuck me, please-," you whimpered, begging to feel Tom's cock fully thrust into you again.

Instead, Tom pulled out of you.

"You will have to do that yourself," he said and you groaned in protest. Tom sat down, back leaning against the headrest of the bed. "Come here, baby girl," he motioned to his lap. "Come here and ride me."

As you pushed yourself up by your arms you felt your whole body trembling, exhausted from your orgasms but still aching for more. Barely, you were able to drag yourself into Tom's lap. You sunk down on his cock, finally feeling him fill you up again. You sat there for a moment, catching your breath.

"So beautiful," he praised as he looked at you. "Come on, ride me," Tom challenged you with a devilish grin.

You placed your hands on Tom's chest, trying to steady yourself as you moved up his cock. You could repeat that motion only a few times before your burning thighs gave out and you let your head fall on Tom's shoulder. Tom placed a hand on your cheek and pulled you back to look at him. You expected him to look disappointed, maybe concerned. Instead, you were faced with a soft smirk formed by his lips.

"Not so bratty anymore, are we?", Tom teased. "No more snarky comments, no bickering," he said and gently stroked your hair. "no teasing, no nothing. You're completely gone for me," he said and you whimpered as your arms trembled trying to hold yourself up. Tom noticed and let you fall into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you to comfort you. His cock was still filling you up. "Tell me what you want."

"I want you to fuck me," you whimpered against his collar bone. "I want you to fuck me like you hate me."

"With pleasure," Tom grinned and sneaked his hand to your neck.

He took you by surprise when he suddenly thrust up into you, his hand tightening on your neck. You let your head fall back as Tom put his other hand on your waist to hold you in place. After thrusting into you a few more times, Tom suddenly stopped which only left you begging for more.

"On your hands and knees, little slut," he demanded as he pulled out of you.

With trembling arms, you positioned yourself on the bed as you were told, Tom behind you. Tom's hands roamed your ass until his hand came down on your ass cheek in a hard spank. You moaned and pushed your ass closer to him.

"You like that, huh?" he asked.

"Yes," you moaned and buried your hands in the bedsheets.

As the tip of Tom's penis nudged your entrance another slap came down on your skin. With another spank to your skin, his cock pushed into you, filling you up completely. Without giving you time to adjust, he grabbed you by the waist and pounded into you. The overwhelming sensation made your arms weak and give in underneath you. Even though Tom wasn't touching your clit, you could already feel another orgasm building up as he was hitting all the right spots inside of you.

Any softness or gentleness that Tom had shown to you before was completely wiped now. Only the sound of both of your moans and your skin slapping against each other was filling the room. Tom's hips were pounding into you, his hands holding you tightly, knuckles turning white, teeth gritted. When you could muster up the strength you finally started to move your hips back whenever Tom met you with another thrust. He groaned lowly and met your ass cheek in a hard spank again.

As the sensation became too much, a wave of pleasure rolled over your body again, this time leaving you to scream out Tom's name. Hearing his name leave your mouth as you chased your fifth orgasm of the night only made Tom pound into you harder. He didn't stop until you felt his cum shoot into you, filling you up until it started to drip out of your hole onto the bedsheets. As Tom pulled out of you, you collapsed onto the bed, still trembling from your orgasm. Without giving you a chance to recover, Tom inserted two fingers into you and touched your overstimulated bud with his other hand.

"Fuck," you moaned as you felt pleasure but also a sharp sting in your lower abdomen.

It only took one small move from his finger to make your hips jolt uncontrollably. Another motion and you were crying out his name again.

"You dirty little slut," Tom purred. "Making a mess of my sheets,"

Another flick of his finger and you buried your face into the sheets as you cried out.

"Please, please, Tomtommy," you whimpered when you couldn't take it anymore.

"What is it?" Tom asked patiently.

"I- I- I can't-," you stammered and he stopped.

Tom pulled his fingers out and got up from the bed, leaving you alone as you tried to catch your breath. You were still seeing stars when you felt a towel covering you before Tom slowly and gently cleaned your cum-covered thighs up.

Then Tom carefully turned you on your back, placed a pillow below your head and pulled the duvet over your body before slipping under the covers himself.

"Are you okay?" he asked and you nodded exhaustedly.

Tom chuckled as he wrapped his arms around your body to pull you close into an embrace and you could already feel yourself slip into dreams.

"For the record, I won," Tom said after a while. You rolled your eyes.

"Thomas, you do know that sex isn't a competition," you mumbled into his chest.

"Hey! You were the one that turned it into one," he said but before you could come up with a witty remark you were already fast asleep in his arms.

When you woke up the next morning, the bed beside you was empty. From down the hallway, you could hear the shower water running before it stopped. A few minutes later Tom walked into the room, only a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Morning," you greeted him with a smile.

"Morning," he mumbled (seemingly unfazed to see you awake) and went to his closet to pick out some clothes.

"Care to join me in bed?" you suggested. Tom looked over his shoulder at you, sat in his bed, the duvet only covering the lower part of your body.

"It's quite late actually...," he said.

"Oh, okay," you said disappointed and slightly confused at his coldness. "Do you want me to leave?" you asked. You were surprised when he let out an unconvincing laugh.

"Well, I don't want you to stay all day," he said.

"Okay, I wasn't gonna," you said.

When you got out of the bed Tom was already dressed in his clothes, which left you standing there naked and vulnerable. Something in you wished you could just walk up to him, hug him, kiss him, laugh with him. You wondered what triggered this change of heart in you. Only yesterday you could've recited a full list of reasons why you 'hated' Tom. But now? You tried to think of the reasons but you couldn't - it was an empty list.

"When will we see each other again?" you asked.

"I dunno, I think we have this promo shoot coming up next, I don't have my calendar memorised," Tom mumbled.

"No, I mean," you laughed nervously. "When will we be seeing each other again, you know, alone?"

Tom raised his eyebrows at you where he was standing across the room. "You want to go out?" he asked, scepticism clear in his voice.

"My god, I didn't ask you out," you rolled your eyes playfully. "I just thought that since last night-"

"It doesn't mean a thing, remember?" Tom said, hands in his pockets.

"Excuse me?" you asked, facial expression frozen.

"You said it yourself: it doesn't mean a thing," he repeated and shrugged. Suddenly, you felt exposed in front of him. You grabbed the duvet off the bed and wrapped it around your body to cover yourself.

"So, this was all just a performance to you?" you asked.

"Of course not, I obviously enjoyed myself," he said rolling his eyes at you. "But I enjoyed it because we had amazing sex, not because I love you or something,"

"Oh, don't flatter yourself, I don't love you," you clarified. "but I thought this was something more than just a hatefuck," you said your vision slowly becoming blurry.

"What more?" Tom asked, face blank.

"I don't know," you said defensively and added after a pause: "I like you, Tom."

"You could have told me that sooner before you decided to pretend to hate me and treat me like shit"

"So, there is nothing there for you?" you asked in disbelief. You couldn't believe that all the gentle touches, kisses and teasing was really just nothing to him. "Nothing?"

"y/n," Tom paused. "I have no feelings for you, there is nothing there," he said. "I think you should leave now"

"Fuck you," you said, angry with Tom and angry with yourself that tears were now actually running down your cheek.

You refrained from wiping your tears in front of him, so as to not draw any unnecessary attention on them. Tom ignored your remark and handed your underwear from last night to you. You didn't take it, so he left it on the bed for you.

"You can put on some of my clothes," Tom said and went to his closet to pick out something for you.

Without giving Tom another glance you went out of the room, downstairs where you found your purse from last night. You fished out your phone with trembling fingers to call yourself an uber as fast as possible. When you went to turn the screen on, you saw that it was dead.

"Fuck," that meant you would have to stay a bit longer to charge it or Tom would have to call an uber for you.

Either way, you had to ask Tom for help, which you absolutely loathed. You groaned and went upstairs again to get it over with.

"My phone's dead," you said as entered the bedroom again.

"Fine," Tom rolled his eyes. "I'll drive you."

You nodded and sat down on the bed beside the clothes that Tom picked out for you. You looked at him leaning by the doorway, watching you. Your hands were still clutching the duvet that was covering your body.

"Can I have some privacy?" you asked annoyed.

"It's not like I had my tongue stuck up your pussy only 10 hours ago," Tom rolled his eyes, smirking (how dare he smirk when you were sitting in front of him, dried tears on your cheeks).

"You don't deserve to see me naked right now," you said and motioned for him to leave.

"Fair enough," Tom said and left you alone in the room.

Ten minutes later you went downstairs, dressed in one of Tom's sweat pants, oversized shirts and socks. You ignored Tom leaning by the kitchen counter and went past him to the front door.

"I'll tell my assistant to pick up my dress tomorrow," you said.

"Fine," Tom said and unlocked his Porsche.

Quietly you slid into the seat and looked out of the window, planning to ignore Tom for the entire ride. When Tom pressed down on the gas pedal you noticed him checking for your reaction. He probably expected some snarky comment from you, but you insisted on ignoring him.

After a few minutes of the silent drive, Tom fiddled with his phone to turn on some music. Normally, you would have snapped at him for looking at his phone while driving. When the speakers started playing some Cage The Elephant song you groaned and Tom chuckled. No matter how much Tom would pander to your music taste, you wouldn't be less upset with him. Besides, why did he even care?

After a silent drive that lasted too long, you were getting closer to your hotel.

"y/n, wipe your tears, we can never know who could see us," Tom said.

"Fuck you," you retorted.

"Well-," Tom tried but you already knew that you didn't want to hear the stupid remark that he was going to make.

"Tom, I'm not in the mood to bicker with you," you snapped at him. You turned to look at him for the first time again. "I don't care who sees us like this. After everything, I couldn't care less if this hurts your reputation."

"I thought you liked me," Tom said, a hint of a smirk on his lips. The boy really didn't know when to stop, did he?

"You're making it really hard for me right now," you said, tears starting to form in your eyes again.

Finally, you arrived at the hotel and the car came to a halt.

"Keep the clothes," Tom said when you were about to open the door. You looked back at him. After a short silent pause he added:

"You know how to reach me when you're done being upset and are craving another fuck," a devilish grin on his lips.

Instinctively, you opened your mouth to tell him off, maybe tell him another fuck you, but you stopped yourself.

"And you know how to reach me when you're done lying to yourself and are ready to apologise," you said which wiped Tom's grin right off his face.

You grabbed the door handle and opened the door, getting out of the car and out of Tom's life (for now).

final A/N: I'm thinking of writing a second part to this because I still have so many ideas with this pairing! Would you be interested in another part?

updated final A/N: part two out now here!

Bingo card:

[catalists]

Chrome’s shadowgast fic rec list, vol 1

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own obsession with wizards. I might make another one of these eventually if y’all keep churning out absolute bangers, but in the meantime, here is a list of my top Shadowgast fic recs.

One rule here: I’m limiting this to one fic per author--but many people on this list have a broader oeuvre you should definitely check out.

Your disclaimer: this is not a full literature review, but rather my personal favorites. Caveat lector!

* = fic is rated M or E

sleeping in the shadow of an other self by nonwal | @nonwal

Essek has a moment to consider that gravity-based trust exercises have never worked for him, and then the spell hits. He leans back into it, falls, falls.

(In which Essek is resurrected by the Mighty Nein and framed for innocence.)

Okay, listen. If you haven’t read it yet, you’re missing out. There’s a reason it’s at the top of the list. 30k of absolutely phenomenal characterization of not only Shadowgast but all the M9 and the coolest plot to ever plot. Not only a fantastic first read, but a phenomenal re-read as well.

multitudinous echoes awoke and died in the distance by mousecookie | @ariadne-mouse

Caleb takes a step forward and stumbles.  As he catches himself he realizes something very odd.  His hands are shadowy and translucent.  His whole body is a shadow, in fact.  If he holds his palm up to the sky, he can see the stars twinkling faintly through it.

Sharp talons of panic dig into his chest.  He feels solid - if he grabs his own wrist, he has mass, but it is wrong.  Everything is wrong.  What is happening?

Prepare Fireball, commands a voice in his head.  

The voice is familiar.  

It takes him a moment to realize it’s familiar because it’s his.

An absolutely fabulous pre-relationship fic, written before the end of the show but you wouldn’t know it from how perfectly it nails the dynamic. Ariadne has written a ton of other fabulous Shadowgast fics and I encourage you to read them all--I’m just limiting this list to one fic per author to try and cover more ground.

Great Minds by bluebirdsongs

Essek uses more high-level dunamancy in battle, and Caleb tries to reverse-engineer it when he can't sleep. AKA What if we were both wizards and I cast Tether Essence on us to save your life?

This is a gorgeous fic, both for how it handles Caleb and Essek’s conversation--with profound deftness--and for the treatment of magic-as-math. A beautiful exploration of both dunamancy and Caleb and Essek.

to make a cradle of your palm* by renquise

Essek offers Caleb his spellbook, open to the page of a new spell.

As Caleb suspected, his adaptation of Essek's gravity spell was different in its conception, for all that the result was the same. The architecture of this similar spell speaks of a different thought process, a different set of basic assumptions. It is beautifully engineered, efficient in its use of components and energy: a simple spell requiring only a length of silk thread and yet capable of reaching over a great distance and causing great damage, if applied with intent to harm.

“If you would like, you can, ah. You may—" Essek gestures at his own throat, a quick, inelegant spread of fingers. "Test the application of pressure that the spell exerts."

It takes Caleb a moment to register what Essek is proposing. He is a delicate speaker, as always.

Oh man, this one just goes for the jugular (ha) in the most perfect way. The prose here, like everything renquise writes, is absolutely masterful, and the tension between Caleb and Essek is exquisitely rendered.

fist-fighting with fire just to get close to you by kaeda | @the-kaedageist

Caleb caught Essek’s eye across the dome, and Essek returned his small smile. “It would seem that it is trickier than expected to keep things on a…private channel,” Essek thought at him.

“Unfortunately,” Caleb replied.

“Unfortunately for all of us,” Fjord interjected.

(Spoilers for campaign 2, episode 138)

Kate has a fabulous gift for getting the Mighty Nein’s voices exactly right, and this fic is no exception. This takes the hive mind/telepathy of the eyes to its hilarious, heart-warming, logical conclusion and it’s an absolute joy to read.

(perhaps i may) elaborate by demonstration* by marsastronomica | @marsastronomica

After the second fight, they rest again. There’s still time left in the day, and they may as well push as far as they can. Essek and Caleb find time between action to talk. And negotiate.

This one is an absolute banger. The flirting! The tension! The incredible intense game of chicken that Essek and Caleb are playing this whole fic...it’s amazing, you can hear the dialogue in their voices, this is another one that I read and then had to tell everyone about. And now I’m telling you about. Go read it, it kicks ass.

I’ve been lost before (and I’m lost again, I guess)* by toneofjoy

Caleb has plans to take down his old coaches. Essek has secrets. They climb rocks, make new friends, explore professional boundaries, learn about consequences, and maybe even fall in love. It’s the Shadowgast climbing AU.

AUs can be a tough sell for me, but this one’s not. Half the joy in this is the fabulously vivid world that is built by the author who absolutely knows the ins and outs of competitive climbing and expertly shares it with the reader. The other half is the beautiful growing relationship between Caleb and Essek, which is a consistent joy to read. It’s still a WIP, but I promise it’s worth reading along.

the other things that make us* by saturday_sky | @saturdaysky

Essek returns, when he can, to the sanctuary of Caleb's home. The peace of it is a balm against the tedious peril of the road, which has more misery to share than Essek had ever thought. It's nice to have a place where he can lose himself: in a book, in arcane study, in the confusing allure of Caleb's smile.

It's nice. And the cats miss him, Caleb says.

[First chapter is a complete story. Second chapter will be a follow-up epilogue to it.]

This one hurts in the best possible way. I can’t highlight my favorite bits without giving it away, but the emotional beats of this absolutely beautiful post-canon fic are top-notch and the reveal of information is perfectly executed.

darkness to me is only water to the sea by treeviality

Essek knows how his story ends. There is a place in Rexxentrum where executions are carried out, wooden steps leading up to a wooden platform. There hangs a noose, swaying lightly in northern wind, while polished cobblestones shine bright in golden light.  

There will be birds, Essek imagines, and when the lever is pulled and gravity takes hold of him one last time, he hopes they take flight.

This now-AU take on Essek being arrested is lyrical and beautiful and the author has a tremendous grasp of language and also how to rip your heart straight out of your chest and then gently replace it.

---

And, if you’re still looking for fic, I have a few, but one of my favorites is:

we never do go over (we always gotta go through) by Chrome

In the last fight with the Tombtakers, Essek Thelyss bends reality to keep them all alive and pays the price. As he copes with the aftereffects of his own magic and the party takes the long journey back to the surface, Essek and Caleb finally confront what they are to each other.

or,

Five times Essek woke up with level(s) of exhaustion and one time he didn't.

[oraclekleo]

Byun Baek Hyun (EXO) Relationship Role Analysis based on Tarot Reading

Hello and welcome!

I’m Kleo and I’m here to present some k-pop related tarot readings to you.

Disclaimer:

I would like to state that all these readings have a purely entertainment nature and their purpose is to bring some fun into my and hopefully yours lives. I have never ever met any of the idols / actors / celebrities in my readings, I don’t know them personally. Tarot reading isn’t an exact science and I can never guarantee any of it. Most of it is my intuition mixed with fantasy. Don’t take these readings seriously and don’t base any important decisions on tarot readings only, use your common sense.

If you wish to request a tarot reading, please read the pinned post on my profile first to see the instructions on how to request. I only do readings for idols / actors / celebrities of 18 years of age or older. Requests for readings including younger people will be automatically dismissed. If you feel uncomfortable with these tarot readings, do not engage in reading my posts. Thank you for understanding.

Reading Info:

Rating: 18+

Reading Type: Single - Couple

Requested: Yes - No

Deck: E. A. Poe

Spread: Relationship Role

Questions:

Friend

Boyfriend

Lover

Husband

One-Night-Stand

Full Name: Byun Baek Hyun

Stage Name: Baekhyun

Group: EXO

Masterlist: EXO

Byun Baek Hyun

Baekhyun (EXO)

Deck: E. A. Poe

Spread: Relationship Role

Friend - 5 of Wands, King of Pentacles

Baekhyun is the kind of friend you can always rely on. He’s likely very generous, paying for food often and inviting his friends to his place to eat with him the meals he prepared. On the other hand, he can become slightly bickering and nagging because he can spot imperfections quickly and will alert everyone about them without holding himself back. Sometimes he might come as insensitive but he’s genuinely just trying to make the world a better place.

Boyfriend - XVIII The Moon, Knight of Cups

When it comes to dating, Baekhyun is a bit mysterious. He will be the knight in shining armour, the prince Charming and perfect boyfriend on the outside. He will follow all the proper steps of dating but there’s this sort of a distance he will always keep. It somewhat doesn’t feel real when he’s courteous like that. His lover will probably suspect him of faking all the lovely acts only because he thinks that’s how it should be. However Baekhyun’s real personality stays hidden.

Lover - 10 of Pentacles, Page of Pentacles

When it comes to passion and desire, Baekhyun is a very efficient and impactful lover. The setting, the lights, candles, music playing in the background, the whole setting and mood, the foreplay, the steps of seduction, the style and the technique, the timing and the farce of the climax - everything is pitch perfect. But… it still somewhat lacks the emotional connection. Baekhyun choreographs his love making with professional precision and carries it out flawlessly but his heart isn’t really in it. It satisfies his (and his lover’s) needs but it won’t deepen the bond in between them.

Husband - Queen of Pentacles, XVI The Tower

Baekhyun might see the possibility of marriage as something comfortable and an easy solution to loneliness. If he would get married, he would have his spouse by his side, willing companion and lover at hand. And it would save him time he needs to spend on dating now. On the other hand, it would probably destroy the lifestyle he’s used to now and he’s worried about losing his freedom and independence.

One-Night-Stand - VI The Lovers, VII The Chariot

Baekhyun is a funny guy. He’s likely to have many random lovers but he’s not doing it only to release sexual tension, he’s actually seeking for his soulmate this way. He’s simply seeking for that one person who would swoon him, blow his mind, capture his heart. One-night-stands are quicker than dating and Baekhyun pursues effectiveness. May the stars be in his favour and he will find his perfect match one day… or better say one night… probably…

Thank you for reading!

Hit the Like 💖

Comment! 💬

Reblog! 🔁

Follow for more! 💌

[hansolmates]

one more time (m)

pairing; (former) popular!jk x (former) normie!reader summary; it’s been two years since you’ve seen your former tryst jeon jungkook. you didn’t expect him to be applying for the internship you’re currently running, along with the rate your heart is running at the sight of him in a black suit. genre/warnings; self-deprecating language, your typical (future) co-workers!au, jungkook is a piner and so is oc, a lil bit of sneaking around, adulting, a mutual understanding of feelings (finally!!) smut in the form of—soft n’ dirty baybee, unprotected, cockwarming, overstimulation, minor praise and possession kink, cumplay, &you know that they gon have heart eyes the entire time w.c; 7.3k a/n; darn why am i so... emotional over this??? it started out as a meaningless drabble series but with all my lovely readers and moots it’s grown into such a fun, introspective series. thank u for loving this and joining me on this journey. for those of u who are new to this series feel free to read popular-ish first or as a standalone! [popular-ish masterlist]

if you’ve enjoyed this (whether as a standalone or as a series) please consider giving it a like and a share✨✨✨✨✨

“A mess, I’m a mess,” you sing-song to yourself, organizing the manuals on the clear glass by subject and size. The applications of all your new interns are alphabetized, not a form out of place. Everything’s perfect. “Alright Jessica, all twenty of the interns are accounted for.” 

“Actually, there’s twenty-three,” Jessica quips, and you let your shoulders slump. Being part of the recruiting team of your company has been simultaneously exciting and stressful. Stressful because of the constant travel, but otherwise exciting because you loved your internship at your current company. You remember how nervous you were two years ago, and how much support and help you got from your recruiters. Applying to this team was a natural turn of events. 

“A-are you sure, Jess?” you look through all the applications, count the amount of nametags, triple check the chairs. You’re sweating through your blazer, wondering where you went wrong. 

The head of your recruiting team glues one hand to her hip, while the other hand is holding her iPad, scrolling with her thumb. You swallow, intimidated by Jessica’s golden wavy locks and her black-trimmed white Chanel pantsuit. 

“Yep, but don’t be too hard on yourself. I just added three more recruits last night. I’ll get the chairs and the apps are being printed. No worries,” Jessica assures, gesturing for you to hurry up and get outside, “Call the babies in!” your team leader waves her finger around like a magic wand, commanding you to the front lines. 

Krystal puts a hand on her shoulder, as always looking impeccable. She has virtually nothing to worry about. She’s a woman who has connections, courtesy of her team leader. “Let’s go, newbie,” she teases, pulling you through the door. 

The recruits in the lobby are wide-eyed and vibrant, and you feel a little nostalgic as you watch them line up in front of you and Krystal as you sign them in. You would dwell on the feeling more if it wasn’t for your exhaustion, so you decide you’ll get a chance to take a road down memory lane when you get to the hotel. 

“Name?” 

“Xu Minghao.” 

“Congrats Minghao, here’s your nametag and I’ll see you inside,” with a firm handshake, one recruiter is free to go. 

“Name?” 

“Chou Tzuyu.” 

“Congrats Tzuyu, here’s your name tag and I’ll see you inside,” she doesn’t go in straight away, and moves to the side of the door. “Actually,” you pause mid-handshake with another recruit, staring at the woman in curiosity, “my boyfriend just got a call last night that he was accepted in this year’s batch. Do you have his name?” 

“Yes, three more recruits were added,” you chirp, as if you totally did not hear that bit of information five minutes ago, “What’s his name—Jungkook?” 

The both of you blink at each other. One hand on Tzuyu’s shoulder, eyes wide and mirroring yours. Your heart falls straight to your stomach, wanting to be eaten by acids and bacteria so you can stop any possibility of feeling any lingering affection for the boy you fooled around with in undergrad. Everything about him screams professional. He’s clean cut, a pinstripe black suit you never thought he’d own, and his hair is neatly trimmed and pulled behind his ears. His shoulders look tall and broad under the slight padding, his biceps comfortably stretching against the dark fabric. The golden complexion remains the same however, from the honest brown eyes to the coral pink lips that would always smile at you. 

“Oh, so you do have his name!” Tzuyu clasps her hands together, delighted. He has a girlfriend, too. It’s then you realize you’ll be stuck with not just him, but her for the week. “You guys are so efficient. C’mon Kookie, let’s find some seats!” 

“I still gotta get my nametag,” he replies goodnaturedly, gesturing to you, “save us some seats in the front?” 

Tzuyu thinks nothing of it, squeezing his bicep before skipping off to the front row. Your eyes linger on her form, and it’s only then you realize how tall and intimidatingly pretty she looks in that plaid teddy bear brown skirt suit. You did not look that good when you were a budding undergrad. 

By this time, Krystal has taken all your other recruits from your line, regarding you with a raised brow. She’s fast with her attendance, so you know you don’t have much time. 

“I applied last minute,” Jungkook says, scratching his head, “was running out of options before graduation. I didn’t know you’d be one of my recruiters, though. Lucky me.” 

Jungkook and you never ended up keeping in contact, at least as of recent. A check-in message a few months in, a happy birthday or holiday greeting late at night. But two years later and those messages are automatic, with no feeling or personality. You never thought you’d see him again, no less in the city. 

“You just graduated with your masters, congrats,” you smile at Jungkook, although you’re sure the feigned emotion fails to reach your eyes, “IT Management, right?” 

“You remembered,” Jungkook brightens, reaching over to squeeze your shoulder, “you look good.” 

“Oh please—”  you laugh to yourself, shaking your head, “I just got off a flight and I ran over in a two-day old suit, I don’t even have makeup on,” you didn’t feel this way in the morning, you just rushed to do the bare minimum to be enough and ran over to the convention hall. But now in the presence of Jungkook who looks so handsome and clean-cut, you can’t help but feel a little slighted at the sudden reunion. 

“You’re always beautiful,” Jungkook exhales, and you clutch your clipboard closer to your chest. 

You cough, an excuse for him to stop touching your shoulder, “You should go inside, it’s gonna start soon. We can catch up later.”

“Wait—” you make a scrunched up face that Jungkook can’t catch, but right in Krystal’s view. You can tell she’s laughing at you internally with her devious grin. “I just wanted to say, Tzuyu isn’t my girlfriend. We’re just…” 

“Fooling around?” you didn’t mean for it to sound so sharp, but you wanted this conversation over. You have a job to do and Jungkook is your emotional barrier. 

You and Jungkook used to fool around. 

Jungkook winces, looking younger in his monkey suit. “I mean if you give me a chance to explain later—”  

“Nametag, let’s go newbie.” Krystal slaps on the sticker herself, a little too hard if she asked. She doesn’t even bother to write his full name, just a bright green Jeon JK, IT Management tacked on his breast pocket, clashing with the gold pocket square. 

“Sorry,” Jungkook tucks his tail in for now, bowing at you and Krystal as he scurries inside. 

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. Krystal doesn’t bother to comfort you or ask what’s up—not that you want her to, even though you do want a breather before you have to go up on that stage and explain the itinerary for a week. The only thing you can do is smooth out your skirt, brush away the flyaways on your hairstyle and plaster a company-paid smile on your face.

The autopilot switch is on throughout the rest of the morning. Not just because Jungkook’s around, but the new position has got you on livewire. You’re glad that you’re not wearing base makeup because you are absolutely melting with all the high beam lights all up in your face as you talk through the week’s activities. 

You could swear Jungkook clapped a little harder than most once you stopped talking, but maybe it’s because you’re not used to seeing Jungkook in the very front of a lecture. In fact, he was a very hard middle person, preferring not to show off his intelligence and let other people lead the discussion. Then again, it’s been two years, you don’t know how much he’s changed. 

Jessica caps off the seminar with a great kick-off, the happy hour. The recruitment team picks a four star restaurant under their hotel so the recruits can enjoy themselves before going off to the training facility for a week. 

And by training facility, you also mean yet another four-star hotel. You knew you made the right decision by joining this company because the benefits are impeccable, and value personal enjoyment just as much as they value work ethic. In the morning you and the recruits will be driving uptown to a private resort where there would be classes in the morning, and recoup in the evening. You’re very much looking forward to the infinity pool on the roof. 

The recruits are ushered out as soon as you’re done, and that’s when you step out of the shadows to clean up the chairs and the brochures left behind. Thankfully Jungkook is probably following the norm and going back to the hotel to freshen up before dinner. Once the room is completely empty, you rip off your blazer and let yourself relax. 

It’s going to be a long week. 

Jeon: where u @?

You: hotel room

Jeon: why? Thought we were all gonna have dinner together

You: nahhh, this night is for the recruits! You’ll be tired of our faces by the end of the week, enjoy it while you can 😉  have a good night

You sigh in contentment, relaxing further into the silk sheets. You just finished your skincare routine, letting some mindless drama play as the essences and serums sink into your skin. All you want is one Jungkook-free night. Tomorrow you’ll be stuck training him and Tzuyu for the week and you want to take tonight to emotionally prepare yourself. 

Your phone rings once more. 

Big Baddie Jessica Jung: krystal and i ordered takeout in the restaurant downstairs. Can u bring it to our  room? Plsssssss 

Little Baddie Krystal Jung: it’ll be faster if you do it, we even got u a lil somethin🍰🍰🍰

Taking in your outfit, you grimace. You’re dressed for bed, a large nightie with your hair pulled back and a little pink bunny tie headband on top. Can’t they get room service to send it up? You admire your boss but you don’t understand why she needs to display her power over and over, she already knows you’ll follow her to the ends of the earth. 

Quickly slipping into a pair of sneakers you run down the expanse of the hotel. It’s easy to spot where the recruits are, livin’ it up in the large restaurant that takes up half the space of the ground floor. Most of them are pretty drunk, hoping to sleep off the hangover on the four-hour bus ride. You have absolutely no judgement, two years ago you were in the same position. 

Thankfully you don’t have to go far into the restaurant, as the hostess immediately knows Jessica’s order. While you wait for her to go into the kitchen and get it you drum your fingers against the counter, hoping no one notices you. It’s akin to when you’re a teacher in a mall, hoping none of your students gawk at you in the middle of Victoria’s Secret. 

“Ah, well Jungkook and I aren’t official yet—but very soon.” 

Your ears perk up at the sweet voice. Tzuyu is leaning across the open bar next to the counter, sipping on a mango mojito. She’s dumped the blazer for the night, showing off her soft skin and slender arms with a sleeveless cream blouse. 

“Then where is he?” another recruiter asks, gesturing to the expanse of the lobby. 

“He’s not much of a party person,” Tzuyu shrugs, tipping back her drink. 

You scoff, plastering on a smile to the hostess as you grab your bags and walk as fast as you can out of the lobby. You’ve never felt more like an old hag until now. Sure, most of the recruits are younger than you, but seeing Tzuyu talk so freely about her relationship with Jungkook has you in a bit of a spiral. The day of graduation, you told Jungkook not to wait for you. Heck, you’re only interested in the idea of what you could’ve had with Jungkook. 

These thoughts only cloud you further as you jab the elevator buttons all the way up to the suites where you and the Jungs reside. You relax a little when you see a strawberry cheesecake sitting prettily on the top of their order, your name written on the label with a little heart. Hanging their bag on the door handle of their room, you make your way back to your suite. 

You freeze when you see a floppy-haired Jungkook roaming the hallway, looking like a clueless child hobbling around in slippers and wide eyes at any sparkly item that decorates the area. It doesn’t even look like he tried attending the happy hour tonight, dressed in an impossibly big heather grey sweatsuit that swallows his form. 

“Are you lost?” you ask tentatively, as if you’re talking to a toddler lost at the mall. 

Jungkook relaxes considerably at the sound of your voice, and he replies, “Was tryna find your room since you didn’t reply to my texts.”

“So… you decided to check all the rooms?” 

“Yep,” he pops the p with a smack of his lips, “I figured the recruiters would be far away from the party so I started at the top. Thankfully I got to Jessica’s room first. Didn’t have to knock on too many doors. Only one old man got annoyed at me.” 

“You’re crazy,” you chuckle, slipping in your keycard to let Jungkook in. 

“Fuck, this room all to yourself?” 

Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to kick his slides to a corner of the wall, flopping atop your bed and clutching your baby blue koala plush in his arms. The king sized bed is enough for his legs to stretch comfortably without falling off the edge, and he eagerly pads his feet against the soft fabric. 

It warms you to think that Jungkook is comfy enough to lay on your bed and hug your stuffed animals, a semblance of friends that you’ve missed for such a long time. Last year the team you worked for was great, you loved the people and even now you consider some of them friends. This year the team is a little smaller, and since your two other co-workers are sisters, it’s a little harder to nudge yourself in the direction of friendship. 

As soon as you sit down against the headboard, Jungkook’s eyes soften. Everything feels so different and the same. The threadbare pajamas that either of you haven’t had the heart to throw away since they’re so damn comfy, yet  your bodies are a little more worn and your eyes a little more droopier than usual. 

“So,” Jungkook bites his lip, not in the sexy way, but the nervous way, “about Tzuyu—”

“Jungkook, you don’t have to explain yourself,” you slump on your corner of the bed, regarding Jungkook with guilty eyes. “I really shouldn’t be feeling the way I’m feeling. It isn’t fair and I don’t want to jeopardize your internship.”

“And… what are you feeling?” 

“Dumb things.” 

“Your feelings aren’t dumb.”

“This time they are.”

“I’ve always shared my feelings, it’s unfair that you never want to share yours,” Jungkook sits up, criss-cross applesauce, pensive. “Maybe it’s my fault for not making you feel comfortable enough to share, but I feel like the reason why we never worked out was because we never tried hard enough to have a proper conversation.” 

How could you have missed all the indicators, all the good words, all the kindness Jungkook has given you that last semester? “You’re absolutely right,” you let your insecurities, your apprehensiveness, get in the way. You think in two years you’d do better to eradicate this kind of behavior, but lately you haven’t had many friends to express your feelings to. “Tell you what, I’ll work harder to express how I feel. No exchanges, no nothings. I owe you this.” 

“You owe me nothing,” Jungkook smiles, “I just think it would be nice to y’know, talk. As friends.” 

“Right, friends.”

“So, will you hear me out about Tzuyu?” 

“Let me open my cake,” you pull out your bag with the cheesecake, which thankfully has two spoons, “it seems like we’ll be having that kind of conversation.” 

Everyone is more amicable because of food. According to Jungkook, Tzuyu has a hardcore, ten-year plan for her twenties. After a couple of dates with Jungkook, Tzuyu whips him into the plan. Mentions that she’s well-bred and has a family reputation to uphold. Says IT Management is something completely desirable in a partner, that he’s sensible and wonderful and would like to be committed full-time. 

“And she talked to her parents about me and said that I’m a good prospect for marriage. Like I’m another pillar in her plan!” Jungkook cries, taking a monstrously sized bite of your cheesecake, wallowing away.

This is akin to sleepovers you’ve always wanted to have in high school, down to the food gorging. You can’t help but be fascinated, “So are you wrapped up in an engagement? Is this a scary rendition of Crazy Rich Asians?” 

“You just can’t turn a one-eighty like that on a fifth date,” Jungkook shakes his head, reeling at the emotional whiplash, “she’s really nice. Really organized, really perfect. It really intimidates me.”

“Is she what you reaaaally want?” you can’t help but ask, rolling your eyes at the excessive use of the word, and tamp down the pain in your stomach by eating a forkful of creamy cheesecake. 

“I don’t know!” Jungkook replies exasperatedly, “Obviously I’m worried since she wants to put a ring on it. I told her she needs to back off. Right after the seminar I said she had no right telling other people we’re boyfriend and girlfriend. She didn’t say much, just frowned and walked away.” 

You roll your eyes, scraping the leftover graham cracker crust from the edge of the plastic plate. “According to her, I heard you two are planning to make it official very soon.” 

His eyes widen, “I really bring girl trouble wherever I go, don’t I?” 

“Since I’ve known you,” you half-joke, putting away the plastic cutlery on the nightstand. 

You two sit in silence for a few moments, letting the television fill the room with mindless static about some sappy Hallmark movie. Tentatively, you land a hand on Jungkook’s knee. He looks down at your tiny fingers, giving his skin an experimental squeeze of comfort. 

“I don’t want her,” he finally says. 

“Okay,” you reply, “you won’t even have to talk to her if you don’t want to. I can arrange the groups this week so you don’t have to be around—”

“Give me one week,” his eyes flash to yours, dark and sharp.

“Jungkook. You have your determined face on,” it makes you sweat.  

“Because I’m determined to win you over, once and for all,” you eyes widen, and Jungkook visibly freezes, “was that too much? I’m kind of on an emotional high today. I didn’t expect to see you today and it kind of threw me into a loop. I thought I might be running into you once I started my internship but I didn’t think you’d be my recruiter. And then you went on that stage all bad-ass talking about work and you looked so gorgeous in your suit and I was so proud knowing you made it and IrealizedhowmuchImissedyou—” 

“Jungkook, slower,” you’re feeling a little woozy as well, equally overwhelmed. “You’re just saying this because you didn’t expect to see me—” 

“You’re deflecting, again.” 

“I’m scared, okay?” you blurt, throwing your hands in the air. “You’re right, this is all so sudden. So can’t we just start being friends and see if it takes us somewhere? You don’t have to win me over, just support me like I’ll support you.” 

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook moves up the bed, so he’s leaning against the headboard as well. His long legs stretch farther than yours, and it feels oddly domestic as you talk it out and stare at the television screen. “I’m just, worried I’m running out of time.” 

“I'm not going anywhere this time.” 

“I know,” Jungkook shakes his head, ridding himself of his torrid thoughts. Conceding, he gestures to the television, pulling out the remote under your pillow, “wanna watch television, or catch up?” 

You last about an hour until you knock out. However, Jungkook keeps you entertained up until that moment, as you exchange your lives and stresses. Everything meshes together, you’re not sure if it’s the charm that comes with late night talks, but you feel like you can talk to Jungkook about anything if given the time. You melt when he strokes your hair till the last minute, wishing you a goodnight and a promise of more. 

“Okay, I’ve gone over most of the work ethics in the manual,” you smile nervously when you see your glazed over recruits, nearly falling off their chairs. Even Krystal is bored out of her mind, discreetly playing with her phone in the back under her manual. Of course you’d get stuck with teaching the boring classes. “Any last minute questions before we head off for dinner?” 

Tzuyu shoots her hand up, “Are romantic relationships allowed in the workplace?” 

Jungkook promptly chokes on his water bottle. He looks up at you, panicked. Ignoring his terror, you paint on a thin smile towards the young woman, “Like I mentioned earlier, romantic relationships between employees are not frowned upon, so long as you’re not working under or over someone in the same department.” 

“Right, just wanted to make sure,” Tzuyu is all chipper smiles as she thanks you.  

If you were still twenty-one, you’d gag at the pointed look she sends Jungkook. They’re sitting diagonal from each other, and Jungkook makes a point to pretend to be interested in your lecture until the very end. 

You’re halfway done with recruitment week, and while you’re not shocked at how fast the week has gone by, you’re fairly disappointed that Jungkook and you haven’t had time to meet up in private. So far it’s been easy enough to keep your friendship (and past sexual relationship) a secret, but something dark and eager tells you how much you want more. The recruiters are eager to leave, all twenty-three of them grouping off and talking about what they want to eat for dinner. Everyone except a certain dark-haired fellow, who’s hair is currently bouncing off it’s styled coiff, wanting to return to it’s normal non-gelled self. 

“Kookie,” you raise a brow at the interaction, Tzuyu leaning over her chair to Jungkook’s, “wanna get dinner tonight?” 

Jungkook’s taking an excruciatingly long time to pack his things, raising a brow at her, “I’ve told you already, I don’t want to be involved in whatever plans you have.” 

“Oh-kay,” Tzuyu rocks back and forth on her oxford heels, pursing her magenta pink lips, “then why don’t we at least walk back to the hotel together? I really want to talk about some things that might change your mind.”

“Nothing will change my mind,” Jungkook’s determined face has been staying strong for the week, from the way he makes sure he’s first in your class to the simple “good morning” and “good night” texts you exchange. “Besides, I have a date tonight. And I really want to talk to the recruiters about a personal work matter, so can you please leave?”  

You try not to snort at how blatant Jungkook was being. You pretend to organize your folders, throwing whatever random notes you have in your bag for later. 

“A date,” she twitches,  “with who?” 

“Someone that doesn’t treat me like a stepping stone in her career path,” Jungkook deadpans, and that’s all it takes for Tzuyu to huff and walk away from the hall. 

You think Tzuyu is like a bug, relatively harmless, but someone who gets on your nerves. 

“A date, huh?” Krystal quotes, finally looking up from her phone. Her sharp, cat-eyes linger at the door, wondering if Tzuyu is going to pop out and try to drag Jungkook by the reins. Finally, she plants her stare between you and Jungkook. “So, you two fucking?” 

“Former fucking,” Jungkook supplies helpfully, and you jump off your podium to elbow him in the ribs, “ow—what?” 

“You just don’t tell Krystal we’re fucking!” 

“Former fucking,” he chastises, but the eyes he sends you are a little sultry, and you wonder if he’s thinking of fucking in the future. You reel yourself back, focusing on the third party.

But you anticipate that Krystal couldn’t care less, and you’re grateful for that. While a smaller work team means a smaller possibility of close work relationships, you do like the drama-free environment. “Like you said,” Krystal shrugs, slinging her briefcase over her shoulder, “romantic relationships in the workplace are not frowned upon.” 

You wring your hands between your bag when Krystal finally makes her getaway, and you look up at Jungkook. “So,” you smile wryly, “you have a date tonight, huh?” 

“With a pretty working woman,” he sighs dramatically, putting a hand over his chest, “that is, if she’ll have me.” 

“Consider yourself taken.”  

Jungkook and you sneak away to your suite once again. To your surprise, the suite is decorated in rose petals and a bottle of champagne sits in an ice bath on your bedside. A large pizza pie sits beautifully on your coffee table, and the television is playing lo-fi hip-hop. 

You feed Jungkook champagne-dipped strawberries as you gorge on the joy that is baked bread and cheese. 

And when he kisses you, it’s slow and sweet, like you have all the time in the world. 

It’s the last day of recruitment week, and all classes ended at noon so the interns can use all the resort’s amenities to the fullest. Many of the interns, including yourself, Jessica and Krystal, are on the rooftop celebrating a successful workweek. Staff and interns alike are buzzing around, eager to top off their weekend with some relaxation and sun. 

Jungkook is with his new team, conversing with other IT employees. You try not to stare too hard at your reignited flame, tipping back a cutely decorated glass of fruit. His arms ripple as he tips back the liquid. He’s wearing a tank top and you could swear his biceps have gotten meatier. Unfortunately you hold yourself back, after all the internship isn’t quite over and you still are a professional. 

At the end of the weekend you really have nothing to worry about, you know that. 

But Tzuyu? She irritating. 

“I just don’t understand,” Tzuyu suspects nothing of your budding relationship with Jungkook. You’re thankful for that because towards the end of the week, it was getting harder and harder to be subtle when you two send each other heart eyes from three meters away. 

Tzuyu sounds like she’s talking to herself, the way she stares into the infinity pool, despite the fact that her friends are surrounding her with rapt attention. You’re a cabana away from her, sipping languidly at your drink while Jessica and Krystal nap next to you. Even though you can’t see Tzuyu, you can practically feel her pout emanating through the fabric that separates you two. Despite the fact that she’s been offered a great intern position given her degree and experience, she’s still upset. For her, is that not the most important part of this whole week? 

“Jungkook’s really not that great if he’s going to turn me down like that,” Tzuyu seethes. You should write up her nonsense in a book and publish it, really. “Why waste time when he has the whole package right in front of him?” 

It’s then you realize why you’ve been so torn, so strung up and wound tight all these years. Just like college, all shy and hesitant to take a step forward while Jungkook was ten steps ahead, you were worried. You let other people’s thoughts stop you from making the leap, girls like Tzuyu that never meant to intimidate you, but you let their presence get up in your head and control the nonexistent hierarchy. 

But two years later, and that doesn’t matter. It never mattered. Jungkook is no longer the all-star lacrosse player, but what remains is his heart, full and willing. 

Everything Tzuyu just said was… wrong. Irrevocably, inexplicably messed up. But the idea of “wasting time” does strike a chord within you. Are you wasting time? At this point, your feelings of each other are pretty clear. What are you two waiting for, again? 

You thought Krystal was sleeping, considering her sunhat sitting atop her face, but once she hears you packing away your bag she whistles, “Go get ‘em, tiger.” 

Sending a quick text to Jungkook, you make a beeline for your destination. You don’t even bother looking for him in the crowd. 

You: meet me by the elevator at the very end of the lobby. 

Not a minute passes by when Jungkook joins you at said elevator. He has two glasses of champagne in his hands, and offers one to you, “tired of the party?” he asks.  

You clink drinks, easily tipping yours back. “It’s not our thing,” you declare with a small smile. Jungkook's eyes soften, glancing back and forth between your face and the soft pleats of your marigold sundress. His hair is pushed back, sticky from sweat and chlorine, dark bangs hanging over the shaved sides of his head. You turn your head slightly as you wait for the elevator, biting your lip as you're sorely reminded of how sexy Jungkook looked at the dive pool half an hour ago. 

The elevator dings, and it’s wide enough for you to slip in at the same time. You put your champagne glass in the corner of the elevator for now, hoping you don’t accidentally step on it. In closed quarters, you can smell the slight tang of chlorine coming from Jungkook, combined with his own brand of musk. 

Jungkook looks younger tonight, happier. Having just finished graduate school and working towards a full-time gig, another chapter in his life has started. His hair is no longer in that tight-whipped coiff he struggled all week to maintain, loosened in its natural wave due to the pool water and heat. His cheeks are a little ruddied and plump, a sign he’s been enjoying the food this week. 

The door barely closes when you get it out, pulling at his hand to face you.

“Jungkook, I like you,” you blurt, and his eyes bug out considerably. Out of reflex, his hand sharply squeezes yours. “You don’t have to say anything, because you’ve been saying everything for the majority of our relationship. I really like you, I really liked you back then too. You’re still so sweet, and loving, and smart and I’ve just been too dumb and insecure to—” 

Jungkook seals your confession away with a desperate kiss, and you turn into a pile of mush at the contact. Relief seeps into your bones, sings into your system. When he pulls away, he looks serious. He doesn’t let you get far, and clutches your face between his two hands so you can’t turn your head. Your soft cheeks fill between his fingers, warm and cradled. 

“Never call yourself that,” Jungkook exhales, regarding you with firm eyes, “you’re beautiful, and intelligent, and the person I want.” 

“I don’t wanna take it slow anymore,” you mumble against his lips, leaning in so that you can barely nip at the pink skin. “Want you now, need you now.” 

“You have me now,” Jungkook agrees, and as soon as the elevator dings open to your floor, he scoops you up into his arms. 

By all means it’s not graceful, he’s clutching you like a baby with his hands over your butt as he jiggles you all the way to your front door. Clinging onto him like a koala, you press kisses to his cheeks as he leads you to your room. You laugh and giggle like teenagers, as he fumbles between your breast to grab the card key that’s nestled between your bra. It’s warm in his hand as he swipes it through the reader, pushing you inside. 

“Is it bad that I’m kinda turned on by the fact you got my key out of my boob?” you joke, although the contact of his rough fingers against your breast is a feeling well missed. 

“Is it bad that I’m always turned on when you lecture in seminars?” Jungkook retorts, kicking the door closed with his slipper-clad foot as he walks you to the bed. “Fuck, I can hear you talk about insurance benefits all day.” 

“Didn’t know my sex appeal extended that way—oh fuck—” 

Your vibrant marigold sundresses provides easy access to Jungkook as he throws you onto the mattress, your skirt billowing over your waist as he makes quick work to expose more of your skin. 

“No more talking, more loving,” he’s crazed, doesn’t hesitate to move your bikini bottoms to the side as he rubs lovingly at your long-lost bud, “need to fuck you, now. It’s been so fucking long.” 

“Kook,” his breath is warm against your already sopping cunt, and you lift your hand to run through the strands of his messy hair. It only takes one firm tug and you’re able to pull him up by the root of his hair, cranberry juice tinted lips with a faint sheen because he couldn’t help himself to have a little taste of you. “Baby, let me touch you. Let me show you how much I want you," you coo with a pout, hands trailing over the drawstrings of his trunks.

You can see how much Jungkook wants to say yes. His eyes glow with the possibility, bright and wanting in the afternoon sunlight. The image of him shoving his cock deep into your throat, so far that you can taste it in every crevice of your mouth. Your nails gripping into his ass as you go deeper, tears pricking your eyes as cum seeps out of your pretty lips. 

But he firmly shakes his head, fingers doing the devil’s work as he eases a digit in you. A little noise of protest bubbles in your throat, but it soon dies out as soon as he finds the right spot to reduce you to mush. 

“Next time,” he exhales against the juncture between your thigh and pelvis, picking up the pace and adding another finger, “if you touch me, I’ll cum right then n’there. This is enough for me, you’re enough.” 

So you let him have what he wants. You’ll make it up to him in the morning, and the day after, and the day after. You shed your clothes, the sundress extra forgiving as it slides off your body, revealing a swimsuit that hasn’t even touched the pool. You feel a little self-conscious as he drinks you in after so long, but he quickly shucks off his clothes to match your state of nakedness. 

You remember how you tiptoed around your first night with Jungkook, taking great care to make sure it was fleeting, how dark the room was as you let your pleasure take over your senses. Two years later and the sun is setting, gold bleeding through your sheets and illuminating the room. There's no need to hide.

“I must say, we’ve both kept it tight,” Jungkook teases with a wink, squeezing your hips so he can change positions. 

You silently agree, your fingers slipping across the washboard of his waist. 

“Mm, and still so fuckin’ cute,” Jungkook marvels as he pulls you up on his lap. Your whole body is flushed with want, one hand squeezing your breasts while the other plays with the curls of hair that lead to your sopping wetness. You glide your core over Jungkook’s stomach, sighing as you take note of the abs that clench under your heat and his hot member that rubs between your ass. 

It’s a tight fit when you finally sink down on him, but the burn only fuels your desire as he stretches you wide. His grip is helpful as he guides you through the motions. It’s been awhile since you’ve been this physical with someone, and it’s almost comical when you both sigh in contentment at the contact. 

“I’ve missed this,” you mumble, biting into his shoulder as he thrusts up. 

“Mm, it feels different, right?” Jungkook hums, keeping a slow pace. The drag is wonderful, and you know that he’s trying to prolong the moment. He reaches for your head, presses his forehead to yours as he speaks, “you’re mine now, right? For real.” 

“I’m all yours, Jungkook,” you press kisses everywhere. No need to hide anymore. You bleed love into every kiss, to his jawline, the little freckles across his chin, his lips. “This is romantic and all, but I really want you to dick me down. Which is why you need to go a little faster, you sap.” 

Jungkook scoffs, “A pillow princess is what you are.” 

He stops moving, and you two sink further into the mattress without its springs bringing you back up. The both of you are acutely aware of how wet you both are, your combined arousals seeping between your seams and dripping onto Jungkook’s thighs. But the young man simply relaxes against the headboard, baiting you. 

“Kook,” you whine, clenching against his member. Your hot walls have a mind of their own, unable to stifle their desire. Sweat lines Jungkook’s brow as he tries his hardest not to move, just simply be. 

“Tell me how much you want me, princess,” the pet name has you clenching harder, and you pout. 

“Baby,” you whine, leaning forward to whisper in his ear. There’s no one in the room, and you’re sure no one is on this floor because everyone’s on the rooftop, but the words you’re about to say are for Jungkook and Jungkook only, “please, I want you to pound me into this mattress until I can’t walk anymore. I want to cry out your name so everyone can hear I’m yours. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” you nip at his lobe, and let your thumb nick at the simple silver rings that adorn his ear. You hear a click of his teeth, indicating the clench of his jaw as his muscles flex around your body, "I want you to fill me with your cum until I’m eating it, and—and—oh Kook!” 

Your words aren’t enough to distract you from his large dick sitting prettily between your folds, and you’re suddenly cumming, all by the mere thought of what’s to happen. You’re shuddering in his arms, and Jungkook soothes you by running his fingers over the spine of your back, distracting you from the utter mess you’re making on the sheets. 

“Such a good girl,” Jungkook coddles you, stroking your hair, “can my good girl take it?” 

“Y-yes, Kook,” you nod eagerly, fighting the overstimulation as he nudges you off his lap. You’re pliable, as Jungkook sets up the pillows for you to rest comfortably as you get on your elbows and knees, “your good girl.” 

You shudder as your bare pussy starts to feel cold, immediately missing the warmth Jungkook can provide. You can practically feel his hot gaze burning in your back, his large palm squeezing your ass as he marvels at how ready and eager you are for him. 

“It’s so easy to slip inside,” Jungkook rubs your nectar across the head of his cock, swirling around your engorged skin as he slips right inside. You both moan at the stretch, “Finally, my adorable baby, you like this? You like getting pounded like the dirty girl you really are?” 

“Mm, yes!” you squeal, clutching onto the feather down pillows for dear life as Jungkook displays his strength, one hand gripping your hips as the other weaves itself into your hair. It’s a delicious mix of pleasure and pain, and the lewd sounds of each other’s juices and his balls against your ass echoing in the room. 

“Y-yeah,” despite his power, his thrusts are sloppy, and you know he’s almost at the edge, “and I like you, so so much. I want to make you cum everyday, make you happy and—mph—” he gives up on talking, focusing entirely on his destination. 

“Cum, baby,” you urge, melting when his one hand comes to thread with your own, “fill me up with you.” 

He flips you on your back, and you finally see how desperate Jungkook is to cum. His eyes are glassy, filled with emotion as he strokes himself to completion. Your hand reaches up to cup his damp face, and that’s when you feel him loosen. Hot, pearly strings cling to your pussy, decorating your skin in his essence. Your fingers immediately reach down to swirl the cum between your folds, and Jungkook groans at the picture, immediately throwing your hands to the side to kiss you senseless. 

There’s so much pouring between the two of you, affection, the feeling of being cherished, so much that you can feel the whole world reducing to the two of you. 

“All mine,” he whispers to himself, as if he still can’t believe it. And then, he puts up a poker face as he leans into you, resting his head gently on your breasts, “I knew I only needed a week.”

You narrow your eyes, flicking lightly at his forehead. You’re sticky, sweaty, and covered in cum and while you’re exhausted, the built in jacuzzi in your washroom looks very enticing right now. “Jungkook, this happened naturally. I said we would try as friends first and we did. We just so happened to escalate pretty fast.” 

“I don’t think it was that fast,” Jungkook nuzzles his face into your skin, “it’s been two years since college. Being popular did do a number on our relationship, but we caught up." 

“You were popular-ish,” you roll your eyes, teasing him. His face falls, and you can’t help yourself. Your hands reach over to cup his cheeks, and you happily squish the supple, pouty flesh. He’s adorable. “Kim Taehyung though? Park Jimin? Absolute heartthrobs I couldn’t stand to be near them—ah!” 

Jungkook seems to read your mind, lifting you bridal style to drag you over to the bathroom where the marble jacuzzi sits tauntingly. The stone is ice cold as he brings you both inside, immediately turning on the nozzles to fill it with steaming hot water. You find the tiny bottle of lavender suds, spilling the soap in an arc. His legs slip over yours, cradling you so that your back is pressed against Jungkook’s chest. 

“Being popular never mattered,” Jungkook shakes his head, pressing a kiss to your jaw, “I realized the only person who I really needed to notice me was you.” 

bonus. 

You wake Jungkook up the next morning with your lips wrapped around his cock, fresh cherry balm rubbing down the thick veins until he's cumming down your throat. 

"Wow," Jungkook whistles, licking his lips at the sight of you sucking the arousal from your thumb. He huffs against the pillow, eyes darting to the open organza window, letting in the early morning light. The rooftop of a multi-star hotel, white Egyptian cotton seats, a full time job on the way and waking up in the most blissful way possible. 

"I have a proposal," you crawl on top of him like a koala, hooking your thighs between his blanket clad body. 

"I do," he replies instantly, looking straight at you with droopy puppy eyes.

"Not that kind," you slap his chest, "where are you living once orientation is over?" 

"Mm, there's a boarding house near a local translation. It's probably an hour commute? Not too bad." 

"So, I just leased a townhouse last month," you bite your lip, tucking your head between his neck to hide your embarrassment, "I was gonna rent out the spare room and put an advert in the paper but…"

"I do."

"I said it isn't a marriage proposal."

"Asking you to live with me is basically a marriage proposal."

"There will be no benefits," you sit up, wagging a finger in his face, "you'll be paying rent and half the utilities. And you will be doing all the laundry." 

"Sure," Jungkook replies loftily, squeezing your ass, "you're benefit enough." 

[space-helen]

Bullet

Words: 553

Pairing: Will Riker x Reader

A/N: I don’t even remember writing this one so I was pleasantly surprised when I re-read it.

Request: I loved you last Riker fic! Maybe you could do one where the reader and Riker are already in a relationship, and the reader gets hurt saving Riker's life? - Anon

______________________

“We’ll give you what you want just let us get back now.” Riker held his hands up and you did the same. 

The man with the antique gun had a sinister look in his eye. “You give us what we want and we will.”

“We don’t have that with us right now,” Will explained. “We need to retrieve the items from the ship.

“Beam them down.” 

Riker took a deep breath in, this certainly wasn’t a position he wanted to be in right now. “You know we can’t do that.”

You looked around to see if there was a way to escape but there was no hope. 

As Riker's comm badge chirped you saw the man press down on the trigger. Without thinking you jumped in front of the man you loved, and in that split second you didn’t care what was going to happen to you as long as you could save Will.

You felt yourself get hit but at the exact same moment, you felt the transport rays wrap around you and deposit you back on the ship.

“Y/N, my God Y/N.” you could hear the panic in Will’s voice as he lowered you down to the ground and supported you.

Pain erupted in your side, moving your hand over the area you felt a warm liquid.

“Get someone in here!” the man's voice bellowed.

“Shit” you whispered under your breath “It hurts.”

“I know I know.” his hands pressed on top of yours. “It’s ok. You’re ok. Why did you do that? God, It should have been me.”

“Don’t” your voice was soft “Please don’t say that.”

Footsteps hurried into the room, a team of people ready to rush you down to the sickbay with Dr Crusher by their side.

Will tried to cling to you as they took you from him. With your blood covering his hands he got to his feet and hurried behind the group as they worked on you on the journey to the sickbay.

“You have to stay here” he didn’t even notice who was speaking.

Slumping in a nearby seat he waved people off as they asked him if he was hurt. His eyes locked onto his hands, the blood staining them making him feel sick.

Time went by at an unusual speed, he had no clue how long he stared at his hands before he stood up and cleaned them off. Picard had visited for a report on the mission and he’s answered quickly, letting the professional side of his brain take over.

He let out a breath when he sat next to you again. He took your hand in his and held it to comfort himself.

“Why would you do it,” he whispered quietly under his breath. “I’m supposed to be the one looking after you. I promised you nothing would happen.” the emotions were fully hitting now.

Your eyes slipped open and you squeezed his hand lightly, scaring the man slightly. “We look after each other.” 

Your soft smile made his heart feel full again, dipping down he lightly kissed your lips.

“Never take a bullet for me again.”

“If it saves your life I will.”

The man's eyes softened, as much as he hated to hear it he’d do exactly the same for you time and time again.

Tag List: (open)

Riker:

Star Trek: @morganofthecoves1​ @livenerdyandprosper @allthetrek​@huntheimpossible @therapieliteratur

[bucky-hues]

stucky fic recs

here are some stucky fic recs! as always, be sure to read the warnings for each fic <3

one shots

finding home | @thedamageofherdays

cap steve x modern bucky

After he is caught in a terrible rainstorm while hiking, Bucky is glad to find shelter at the cottage Steve shares with his daughter and his dog. Bucky ends up finding so much more than just a safe place to spend the night.

x | @dreadlockholiday

steve x bucky

Request: Bucky looking through a glossy magazine and saying something like "God, can you imagine being paid for just looking cute?" And without thought Steve replies, "you'd be a millionaire" and Bucky just blushes furiously while Steve's all like 😳 *oh no, I just said that out loud*

x | @dreadlockholiday (18+)

steve x bucky

Bucky finds his BFF Steve's sketchbook... and it's full of nothing but sketches of Bucky... naked.

sweethearts | @musette22

steve x bucky

Steve confesses his feelings to Bucky using sweethearts

my moon, my man | @musette22 (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

AU meet-cute. Strangers on a Train, but with less murder and more sexual tension.

make it till you fake it | AggressiveWhenStartled (AO3)

steve x bucky

“Ned,” Peter said, like a drowning man sighting land. “Ned. Captain America and the Winter Soldier are fake dating right now and it is the most painfully awkward and obvious thing I have ever seen, all of us want to die, Ned.”

things my heart used to know | Nightwing11 (AO3)

steve x bucky

In a world where soulmates can communicate telepathically with their partners, Steve Rogers has always had Bucky Barnes with him, a calming voice in a sea of turmoil. And, when Bucky falls off the train during World War II, Steve experiences deafening silence for the first time.

Now, after crashing a plane in the Arctic to save the world and being frozen for 70 years, Steve’s still trying to figure out how to live without Bucky there. His new friends are trying to help him adjust, to move on. And he thought he was doing better, he really did.

So, why is he suddenly hearing Bucky’s voice again?

catfish | @buckmebxrnes (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve Rogers is a famous movie star, known for his role as Captain America. Bucky Barnes is a bored law student who drinks too much wine. Bucky gets on match.com to boost his confidence. What he doesn't expect is a guy using Steve Rogers' pictures on a dating profile. Bucky decides to mess with the guy. After all, what idiot uses Steve Rogers' pictures on a dating site?

Not like it's really him, right? Bucky may need more wine.

let's go have fun | @sebastanbucky

steve x bucky

“Nat wanted me to-” Nat clears her throat and he rolls his eyes. “I wanted to tell you something.” He looks at Steve with a look he hopes says ‘play along’. “Okay. What did you want to tell me?” Bucky has to take a deep breath to keep from laughing again, it helps with his performance as Nat nods encouragingly at him. “I’m gay.” He says, making his voice sound shaky and weak.

the way you came around | sokaless (AO3)

steve x bucky

After a while, Bucky says, “You know, this song sounds like it was written for you.” “That's funny,” Steve remarks. “I chose it because it reminded me of you.” Steve gives Bucky an iPod full of his favourite songs from the 21st century to help him deal with his nightmares. Bucky has a new mission- to find out who Steve is in love with, because there are a few too many unrequited love songs on that iPod.

stuck on you | wearing_tearing (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

“Bucky? You don’t look so hot.”

Bucky makes a tiny little sound in the back of his throat, only to start coughing. Of course he doesn’t look hot. He’s sick and he’s dying and Steve obviously isn’t attracted to him.

you have the place next to my place | justanotherStonyfan (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

prompt: “We live in adjacent apartments and our bedrooms are on opposite sides of a very thin wall and one night I heard you crying and talked to you through the wall” AU

Captain America helps the Vet next door.

you’ve got (30) new matches | williamkaplans (AO3)

steve x bucky

When everyone finds out Steve's bi thanks to Bucky's recovering memories, Natasha kicks up her match-making into high gear. Steve has zero luck, but Natasha won't give up, especially when Sam (jokingly) suggests online dating. It isn't long before Steve finds someone, a someone who seems eerily familiar.

perfectly right wrong number | melonbutterfly (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

It all starts because Steve is too dumb to handle his smartphone.

A wrong number AU in which Bucky Barnes doesn't enter Steve's life (meaning: Bucky wasn't born until the eighties, but Steve is still Captain America) until Steve accidentally dials the wrong number. Wherein there is a lot of texting, some advice via Natasha and Darcy, a bit of pining, and a first date in an amusement park. Oh, and on top of being a disabled veteran, Bucky is a professional catwalker. Literally.

put your number in my phone | MacksDramaticShenanigans (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve tucks his phone back into his pocket and turns back to the computer. He only has to click a few times before he finds the link to the questionnaire and opens it, inputting the participant number before hitting next. The beginnings of the consent form fills the page, and all Steve has left to do now is wait for the participant— one James Barnes, according to the website— to show up.

Thankfully, Steve doesn’t end up having to wait very long. James Barnes shows up ten minutes early and knocks on the door before cracking it open and peeking in.

“Oh, hi,” he says, when he spots Steve sitting at the desk. He pushes the door open all the way and steps into the room just as Steve spins in the chair to face him.

“Um, I’m, uh, a bit early, but I’m here for the decision making study,” James continues, clear blue eyes flickering around the room before landing on Steve again. The skin between his eyebrows crinkles up a little, and god, Steve probably shouldn’t find his uncertainty as cute as he does. “Am I in the right place?”

wouldn’t it be nice | MacksDramaticShenanigans (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

"You are never going to believe what just happened," Bucky bemoans, shaking his head. He's at Steve's side in a moment and doesn't bother to give any warning before he dramatically falls into Steve's lap. Steve just barely manages to save his book from getting squashed.

"What is it?" Steve asks, matching Bucky's dramatic tone. "What am I not going to believe?"

"I just got off the phone with Natasha," he starts. "She cancelled on me!" Bucky throws his arms up, nearly smacking Steve in the face in the process.

Steve carefully places his hand on Bucky's forearm and lowers it away from his face.

"You're kidding," he says, a frown curving onto his lips at the news.

"I wish I was," he sighs. Bucky presses his lips together into a disappointed line and deflates against the back of the couch, slinking down Steve's thighs a little. "Who goes to Coney Island alone? How pathetic is that?"

Steve snorts, earning a glare from Bucky, and pats Bucky's thigh. "Aw, don't be such a sourpuss, Buck," he says. "Who said anything about going alone?"

all jokes aside | darksknight (AO3)

steve x bucky

"Before we know it Banner’s gonna be makin’ insinuations.” (Everyone "jokes" about Steve and Bucky being in a relationship until, eventually, they admit that they are.)

barnes & rogers and the goddamn truth

steve x bucky (teacher au)

There are three well-known facts at Shield High:

1. The history teacher Mr. Barnes is a stone-cold terror, and it’s not even because he only has one arm. 2. The other history teacher, Mr. Rogers, is a mysterious enigma, and it’s something to do with the body of a Greek God and contradicting stories of his past. (They’re all rumours, anyway.) 3. Mr Barnes and Mr Rogers hate each other.

Bucky wouldn’t have it any other way.

in the shadows | DragonWannabe (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

Five times they thought they were almost caught, one time someone found out, and one time they didn't have to hide.

OR:

Bucky and Steve grew up in a time when people like them went to jail.

single and looking | Jaiden_S (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

"Bucky held his place with his index finger and turned the magazine over to check the date on the cover. It was brand new, just out this month. An unexpected cord of anxiety tightened in Bucky’s chest. Single and looking? Frantically, he flipped back to the article. What exactly was Steve looking for? According to the article, Steve’s dream girl should be intelligent, altruistic, well-versed in current events and have a wicked sense of humor. Oh, and he had a thing for high heels and red lipstick. Bucky’s stomach churned as he re-read the article. Was that really what Steve wanted? Make-up and stilettos?"

A slightly sappy tale of two utterly besotted super-soldiers who excel at miscommunication.

these american dreams (ain’t no white picket fences left for me) | kariye (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

In which Bucky has a house, a dog, an herb garden, and a serious case of insomnia. Welcome to Havensport, Indiana (population 8,294), where Tom’s Neighborhood Grocer stays open all night, little old ladies call the car shop to get their refrigerators repaired, and the heat of summer days and the length of summer nights can make you think that this perfect world will last forever.

i’ve been careless with a delicate man | paraxdisepink (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

Steve lets SHIELD think he and Bucky were boyfriends so they’ll let him see the Winter Soldier in medical.

knock on wood | 74days (AO3) 

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve Rogers lives a quiet, steady life, until his next door neighbour moves in and starts having incredibly energetic sex every night. All Steve wants is for him to move his bed away from the wall so the damn headboard doesn't knock a hole through his wall.

progressively bigger keys | spinawren (AO3)

steve x bucky

“A very little key will open a very heavy door.” ― Charles Dickens, Hunted Down

Steve and Bucky, it appears, have less need for a key and more use for a battering ram in trying to come out of the closet.

(The one where Steve tries to do one thing (one thing!) without causing a national ruckus, but the press are determined to see Bucky as Steve's best friend. And nothing more.)

stucky discover gay rights | Alicia_Borealis (AO3)

steve x bucky

“Then, why-” Steve stopped himself and looked at Bucky, who had tears rolling freely down his cheeks. “We’re- we’re not sick?”

“Wait, what?” Tony asked.

“Being a homosexual, it isn’t… wrong?”

-

The story of how Steve Roger's loved and lost Bucky, then how he got him back and then how he realised he was allowed to love him after all.

thursday nights with bucky barnes | Ellessey (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve has a comfortable, well-worn routine for his Thursday nights, until the old man who runs the laundromat breaks his hip.

Then Steve has Bucky instead.

to seek a nood-er world | jehans (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

Send noodz

Steve has been staring at his phone for the last six minutes, eyes narrowed so much they’re almost closed at this point, trying to figure out what the hell Bucky means. Noodz? What the fuck are noodz?

Listen, Steve is at least marginally aware of modern pop culture. He’s heard of nudes — not that nudes are exactly a modern invention; artists have been creating them for millennia — and he does know that people tend to misspell words to be cute or funny. They did that when he was young, too. Because time is a flat circle, apparently.

But, wait—does that mean…?

No. Not possible. Bucky isn’t asking Steve to send him…nudes.

Right?

tied ‘round your throat | sleepypercy (AO3) (18+)

police officer steve x serial killer bucky

Steve's a small-town police officer trying to track a serial killer who's been in Steve's bed the whole time.

much tattoo about nothing | Deisderium (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

Steve Rogers gets a lot of email requests, but never one like this: James Barnes wants to use his healing factor to practice tattoos.

Turns out tattoos give Steve boners.

the perfect man | Ellessey (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Setting up a dating profile is decidedly not in Bucky's skill-set, but against all odds he manages to connect with someone who makes the one-night stand he thought he wanted feel like not nearly enough.

kiss me and take off your clothes | steveandbucky (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve Rogers is dared to send a dick pic to a blog which critiques dick pics (run by none other than Bucky Barnes). Hilarity ensues.

i can’t dare to dream about you anymore | steveandbucky (AO3) 

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve considers himself to be a pretty open-minded guy, which is why he can't quite understand why he feels so uncomfortable whenever he sees his gay roommate kissing guys. He's not homophobic, but how else can he explain the way his stomach twists at the sight?

It takes him a while to catch on.

exam room b | steveandbucky (AO3)

modern steve x nurse bucky

“Wait, what do you mean he asked for me?”

“He asked if the cute male nurse with the ponytail was working today. I assume he meant you.”

kickstart my heart | Kalee60 (AO3) (18+)

doctor steve x modern bucky

Bucky’s Wednesday wasn’t off to a great start. Not only did he wake up in a hospital with his annoyed best friend staring down at him, his treating Doctor just happened to be way too familiar, and the reason for that was slightly mortifying.

With misunderstandings in the air, a snarky nurse who is a pain in his butt and the ugliest neck brace known to man attached to his body. There was no way his Wednesday was ever going to improve. Could it?

you make me feel.. | kalika_999 (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

All Steve wanted was to take a breather, decompress after a mission and go out for a jog in the rain. He wasn't expecting to hide out in a bookstore filled with new and used books or that the employee that worked there thought he was an absolute loser and didn't even realize he was insulting Captain America.

nothing in the world that could stop it | rainbow_nerds (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Bucky just wanted to send his best friend a picture of his cat being an idiot while he was taking a bath. Was it really his fault for forgetting the full length mirror right opposite the tub?

rescue me and hold me in your arms | 74days (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Bucky is on the worst date of his life, and what he really needs of for this waitress to get the message he's sending her with his mind to rescue him. She doesn't, but she does send someone to extract him from a night of torture...

odd ways | peterbparker (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

“And it would have been an amazing night with my son if he wasn’t distracted by the hot guy on the other side of the room,” Sarah sighed, shaking her head. “He’s been looking over at you for the past fifteen minutes.”

Bucky choked on the mouthful of beer he had just taken.

“What?” he croaked. Things were starting to make a little more sense now.

“Right?” Sarah said, waving her hand towards her son. “He completely ignored my garden stories because he’s been making eyes at you so I decided to come over and introduce myself.”

series

rare is this love (keep it covered) | @musette22 (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

It’s 2014. Captain America has been out of the ice for three years and is trudging along, saving the world and trying to get used to living in the future. Steve thinks he knows how the rest of his life is going to pan out – a life of duty, which he chose when he signed up to be Erskine’s science experiment. But then, he meets Bucky Barnes: the out-of-this-world-gorgeous mechanic and war vet, who turns Steve’s life upside down and makes him question everything he thought he knew. Slowly, Steve comes to realize there is more to life than duty and punching Nazis. Just one problem though: how on earth does a 96-year-old virgin who only just realized he may not be entirely straight make the transition from crush to relationship? Cue healthy amounts of self-doubt, awkward flirting, pretty blushing, existential crises, emotional growth, and maybe, possibly, a sexual awakening.

coming up easy | @musette22 (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

“Listen, I was just thinking,” Steve says, his face open, eyebrows raised in a tentatively hopeful expression. “Why don’t you come stay at my place for a while? I’ve got an office that I barely use, and a change of scenery might do you good, right? Help you beat that writer’s block?” With a crooked smile, he adds, “I promise I’m not a serial killer.”

While Bucky would normally crack a joke about how that’s exactly what a serial killer would say, right now, all he can do is blink at Steve in surprise, heart tripping over itself in his chest. Steve wants him to come and stay at his place. In Massachusetts. Just the two of them.

"Oh," Bucky croaks. "I- Wow."

“I mean, no pressure,” Steve says hastily. “Totally fine if you don’t wanna. I just thought I’d offer, in case it might help, y’know?”

“Yeah.” Bucky ignores the little voice in his head that sounds an awful lot Nat and Becca, telling him he’s setting himself up for heartbreak. “I mean, if you’re sure, that would be amazing.”

4 minute window | @cesperanza

steve x bucky

"Look, if they catch me," Bucky muttered, "they're either going to kill me or they're going to put me in a box with a little window and—Steve, I can't."

swapped | writeonclara (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

if u wanted my number u couldve just asked

u didnt have to steal my whole phone ;)

Steve stared down at his phone, confused. He didn't recognize the number – except, oh wait, he really did. That was his number. On his phone.

He flipped the phone over, then slid one hand down his face. Not his phone.

“Fuck,” he muttered.

[stupid fucking] brooklyn hipster bros | relenaflanel (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Bucky's mother gives him an ultimatum. Bucky doesn't respond well.

All Barneses are stubborn assholes, Steve observes, as though he doesn't see the irony of calling someone else stubborn. Or an asshole.

And Bucky can't even deny he is a total asshole for lying to his mother about dating Steve just so he doesn't have to bring someone else to her wedding, but damn if he's not going to give the lie everything he has.

brought to brightness | eyres (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

Army veteran Bucky Barnes has fallen in love with Steve, a guy he met online a few months after he returned from Afghanistan. Only problem is, he doesn't know Steve's last name or even what he looks like.

When his sister helps him send his story into MTV's Catfish, he's hoping they can help him meet Steve or, at least, let him move on with his life if Steve isn't real. Little does he know, Steve and Captain America have more in common than just a first name.

slide to answer | relenaflanel (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

"What do I do?” Steve appealed into the phone. “I’m freaking out.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. It lasted so long that Steve pulled the receiver away from his ear and frowned at it. Pay phones were old. Maybe this one wasn’t working despite the obvious dial tone when he picked up.

“Ok,” a stranger’s voice said over the phone. “First acknowledge the fact that you dialed the wrong number, but be quick about it because my cab is a few blocks away from my own plans and I’m about to drop some truth bombs on you.”

how to woo the winter soldier | writeonclara (AO3)

steve x bucky

“I think I’m ready to date again,” Steve said.

“What,” Natasha said.

“What?” Clint said, lowering his binoculars. He blinked at the dumbstruck look on the Captain’s face, then followed his gaze to where he was staring dopily at—at the Winter fucking Soldier.

“Steve, no,” Clint groaned.

Or: Steve courts the Winter Soldier.

all these things that i’ve done | @not-withoutyou 

steve x bucky

Steve was the patron saint of waiting too long. Bucky was atoning for his sins. Maybe they’d both been forsaken, abandoned by the light. Maybe they’d find a way back to each other again.

Post civil war, if things had gone differently.

find a way (to make it back home) | belwrites (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (college au)

Fresh off a year abroad, Head Resident Assistant Steve Rogers finds his senior year of college to be full of changes, and he's not just talking about the growth spurt. He's more concerned with the fact that his best friend...isn't talking to him? Is dating his ex? May or may not be missing an arm?

In which Steve has no fucking clue what's going on, but he's trying, Bucky learns how to communicate with his best friend again, and everyone quietly panics about the future.

is it pretending if i already want you? | OhCaptainMyCaptain (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Based on prompt: Pretend Boyfriends AU where one of their families is always wondering why they're never in a relationship, so the other offers to pretend to be their boyfriend for some family event

the roommate | layersofart, Niitza (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

In which Steven G. Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America, gets a roommate. Who rapidly turns into his "roommate"—in the euphemistic sense of the word.

It takes SHIELD and the rest of the Avengers an absurd amount of time to notice.

dear mr. postman | odetteandodile (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve and Bucky revive an old friendship, get married (but totally just as friends, for reasons), and navigate a few of the many trials of the heart that come with falling in love with your best friend.

fate will play us out | steveandbucky (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

Bucky has landed himself a job with Stark Industries. He doesn't know yet that the job is actually being the PR manager for the Avengers.

Bucky has also started dating Steve Rogers. He also doesn't know yet that Steve is Captain America.

Bucky's life is about to get a whole lot more exciting.

the avengers hate club | notebooksandlaptops (AO3)

pop star steve x modern bucky

Bucky falls hopelessly for Steve and starts an Avengers hate club with the lead singer of the Avengers.

songbird | chicklette (AO3) (18+)

modern steve x musician bucky

At 43, James Barnes is a washed up old man. He’s got a dozen Grammys in the hall closet, an agent that can’t get him a deal, a decade-old case of writer’s block, a moody teen-aged daughter, and the gorgeous actress Natasha Romanova for an ex-wife. Well, one of them anyway. He’s a man who’s given up on finding joy in his life, and if it wasn’t for his kid, he’d have probably found a way to quit the world a long time ago.

Enter Steven Grant Rogers, struggling twenty-something, orphan, and someone who has no idea who Barnes is, other than some musician his mom liked a lot. The two men meet by accident, doing nothing more than passing the time in a quiet bar. But when a pap gets a shot of the two men embracing, Bucky takes it as a chance to finally come out as bisexual, and his agent makes him a proposition: Ten new songs and one very sweet boyfriend will get him a new record deal that will maybe, just maybe put him back on top.

Now all he has to do is write the songs, convince the kid, and not fall in love. Should be easy, right?

the right partner | LeeHan (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x ws bucky

Steve meets a beautiful man with a bright laugh on a sunny day in Italy. Captain America meets the elusive Winter Soldier moments later.

Date Bucky Barnes. Defeat the Winter Soldier. Bring down Hydra. How hard could it be?

[link4eva]

Kiro’s Mind’s Quest: Infatuation Play Translation Part 2 [CN]

Hey! Here’s Part 2 of Infatuation Play. Here is Part 1 if you haven’t read it yet.

Enjoy~ 💛

*Spoilers for future content below!*

[Chapter 4]

MC: It seems I’ve put too much salt in the seasoning….

MC: If it’s salty…. add more water!

Kiro: Haha. 

Kiro was amused by what I said, and he shook off a piece of beef and tasted it.

Kiro: Good to eat!

Kiro also gave me a piece, the evening light leaked in from the window, reflecting a small layer of fluff on his face.

In the steam, the spicy and delicious smell seemed to dispel the previously unremarkable smell in the house.

I took a sip of soda and brought up the topic from before. *Changed some wording*

MC: By the way, in addition to encountering the big challenge of an actor’s career, filming NG….

MC: Is there anything else that left an impression on you?

Kiro looked down and thought about it seriously.

Kiro: Does scaring a crying kid count? 

MC: Of course!

Kiro smiled when he saw the eagerness on my face to hear the story.

Kiro: This scene is also related to entering the character state.

Kiro: In order to maintain this state, I kept myself bored in the hotel room for a long time….

Kiro: Probably because of my routine, no one reminded me.

Kiro: Later, I didn’t know the exact time anymore. When I came out, I felt that I had been in the dark for a long time.

Kiro: I realized that I was a bit too immersed, so I went to buy a bottle of soda to take a break.

Kiro: Then I met a kid in the crew…. I didn’t do anything, he just saw me and then cried. 

Kiro’s voice was very low, and the hot pot gurgled.

I think of Kiro’s immersive performance on the screen, and then I dig a little deeper into what he said just now-- *Changed some wording*

It was as if he had a bitter fruit in his heart, and he desperately wanted to hide it from me. The more bitter it was, the stronger the taste.

In the end, the fruit still found its way into my heart.

I sniffed and couldn’t help joking.

MC: From another perspective, that kid got to watch a scene for free.

Kiro raised his eyes, and I continued with a smile.

MC: I want to watch the exclusive performance of the big star Kiro too!

MC: Thinking about it this way, I feel a little jealous.

I took his hand and his fingertips quivered slightly.

Kiro: Don’t you think I’m not doing well enough? As a professional actor, I shouldn’t be in this situation. 

I shook my head.

MC: Remember, you asked me before if there was anything interesting about this business trip.

MC: In fact, in the city where I was on business, there would be lively gatherings at night on the street next to the hotel.

MC: Looking down from the balcony, there are clusters of lights, and everyone sits on the steps and chats casually.

MC: When I saw it, I was thinking, “I must bring Kiro here next time. He will love the sparkling cider here.”

I looked at Kiro brightly. He seemed to be imagining the scene I described with slight waves in his eyes.

MC: I want to share with you all the good and bad, brilliant and lonely times.

MC: You can be imperfect, you can have lonely and dark moments because I will be with you. 

MC: We share each other’s lives. No matter what life it is, as long as we experience it together, it is enough.

Those blue eyes staring at me seemed to be lit by some kind of warm light for a moment, filled with soft emotions.

I paused and asked him softly.

MC: I remember that every time you acted in a play, you would bid farewell to them at the end.

MC: You said that you were lucky to participate in a period of their lives and experienced their emotions.

MC: So in the end, you have to bid farewell to the partners you have been working with….

MC: Looking forward to another time and space, they will continue their lives.

MC: Did you say goodbye this time?

Kiro looked at me and suddenly reached out and wiped the oil stains on my lips.

The boiling of the hot pot sounded and there seemed to be some fragments of emotions in his eyes that had melted silently.

He paused, turned his head and raised the bear cup on the table. He raised it in the air, the emotions in his eyes were clear and calm.

Kiro: Americano is still too bitter, I prefer to drink soda. 

Kiro: The hot pot made by Miss Chips is delicious. As long as you are with her, even the little things like walking your dog to the supermarket are worth remembering.

His gaze flickered over the neatly coded script on the sofa, and there was a sense of relief in his voice.

Kiro: What you didn’t find, I did.

Kiro: In the time and space I don’t know, you will definitely find what you want, and come back to shine on the stage again.

Kiro: Now, it’s time to say goodbye to you.

The starry sky is gentle, and the steam from the hot pot rises, almost like a response. The wind blows the curtains and the room is full of starlight. *Changed some wording*

We are both covered.

(Cut to the living room)

MC: What’s going on with Cello lately? She seems to be more irritable.

MC: Not only did she knock over the sunflower vase in the living room, but also bit her tail….

I pet Cello who was being held in Kiro’s arms and spoke tentatively.

It is said that the mood of pets will be influenced by the owner. Is Cello….? 

Kiro looked away with a guilty conscience. 

Kiro: Maybe it’s because the season makes everyone more irritable.

Kiro: [coughs] Just leave her be, save the sunflower first.

He found a new vase in the cabinet and handed it to me. I trimmed the sunflower’s branched and leaves that had been bitten by Cello.

Kiro sat cross-legged across from me and stared at me without blinking. I was a little embarrassed to be stared at.

MC: What are you looking at?

Kiro tilted his head at me and his blond hair swayed slightly. It was obviously a naughty action, but the smile in his eyes was very gentle.

Kiro: Of course I was looking at Miss Chips. 

Kiro: Looking at your actions, expressions, the flower in your hand, and…. 

Kiro’s tone was stretched out and I followed his gaze to see the light-coloured hairband on the side of my head.

The soft end of the hairband slid down my neck and onto my skin.

MC: KI-RO! 

I blushed for a moment and when I was hurriedly trying to retie my hairband, my hand was suddenly grabbed.

I looked up and under the frivolity of the sun, I didn’t know when Kiro got so close to me that I could see the creases on his lips.

His gaze fell on the end of my hair. He tucked the hairband lightly and winked at me.

Kiro: Miss Chips, let me help you.

Without waiting for my answer, he took a strand of my hair and maneuvered his hands dexterously, rubbing my earlobes with his fingertips which caused a burst of scorching heat.

The hairband is like a streamer that can be held in his hand, and he is the creator of beauty.

The mood is changing silently at this moment as we stay so close. *Changed some wording*

No matter how difficult the moments we encounter are, they will definitely be healed in the accompanying time.

After a while, Kiro held my face and looked at it with satisfaction.

Kiro: That’s it.

I reached up to touch the hairband and couldn’t help but smile. *Changed some wording*

MC: You even tied a small bow! 

Kiro: Of course, this is the exclusive mark of Kiro.

Kiro picked up the end of the hairband and looked down at me tenderly. His blue eyes were like a vast and boundless sea and I willingly indulged in it.

(Cut to morning)

The morning light was in the room and the sound of the phone vibrating awakened me from my sleep. I picked up the phone and pressed the answer button.

MC: Kiki? What’s wrong?

Kiki: Boss, the project you flew abroad to talk about has passed!

Kiki: Anna received the letter of intent last night, and the person in charge there said that he hoped the date of the contract signing could be confirmed today.

Kiki: Where are you now? Come and visit the company!

MC: Okay, I’ll be there.

I hung up and turned my head, Kiro’s sleeping face came into view.

He seems to be having a good sleep and his lips are slightly upturned, he looks particularly meek. *Changed some wording*

MC: ….

It looks like he is still a little sick. *Changed some wording*

The lack of sleep made my brain work a little slow, so I shook my head in an attempt to wake myself up a bit.

Just as I was hesitating whether to go, Kiro woke up with a hint of sleepiness in his eyes. He was startled when he saw my neatly dressed look.

Kiro: [cute sleepy voice] Is something happening at the company? 

(If you pick “No”)

Seeing Kiro’s still pale cheeks, I shook my head and smiled at him.

MC: Nothing, I was just talking to Kiki.

But Kiro looked at me and suddenly smiled.

Kiro: Miss Chips, you should go do more important things first.

Kiro: I will wait here for you to come back.

Seeing him look at me quietly, I nodded gently.

(If you pick “yes”)

I was conflicted for a moment and then nodded honestly.

MC: There is a little situation that needs to be dealt with, but….

Before I finished speaking, I saw Kiro stretch out lazily with a slight smile in his tone.

Kiro: I will wait for your return.

He looked no different from what I was familiar with. I hesitated for a moment and finally nodded gently.

[Memory Silhouette]

MC: Hahahahahaha! This episode is so funny!

I laughed so much that my cheeks hurt and I had to lean against Kiro’s arms. He opened his arms and caged me in them.

Kiro: Is the way I eat mustard so funny? 

I lifted my head and looked at him as he asked me. 

The sun was shining on us warmly through the French windows, Kiro’s milk fragrance also wrapped around the tip of my nose. I couldn’t help but squeeze his cheek with my hand.

MC: No, but I like it.

MC: Didn’t someone say that if there is a person who can keep you smiling, then he must be an important presence in your life.

MC: You make me laugh without even thinking about it, your existence turns cloudy days into sunny ones. *Changed some wording*

As if he had accepted my theory, Kiro no longer struggled with his expression about the variety show, so he clicked the button to continue playing. 

Kiro: Okay, I agree with Miss Chips. 

This variety show has Kiro as a guest appearance. When he participated in the show, he had not yet joined the cast to make a movie. The show was as bright as a little sun.

In the space between the advertisements, I quickly glanced sideways at the person next to me.

Over the past few days, I can feel his gradual relaxation.

It’s not that I’m always vigilant, telling myself that I have to be happy in front of him, but because when I’m with him, I can relax and smile.

I liked this relaxed and soft Kiro.

MC: But speaking of it, in this variety show, I see you in a way that I don’t usually see.

MC: Planting seedlings, bargaining with the owner of a small shop, and making mosquitos nests by yourself.

MC: So Kiro turned out to be a secret master of life?

MC: So when I was making homemade cranberry cupcakes, a certain superstar asked me to teach him how to beat the egg yolks?

After being questioned, Kiro gave a cheeky “um”.

Kiro: That’s because, in the cast, I need to play the image of SuperHero. This is my job. 

Kiro: But in front of Miss Chips, I can be willful and not so perfect, can’t I? *Changed some wording*

He looked at me with a smile in his eyes, like an afternoon orange soda full of refreshing taste.

MC: You said that…. I can’t refute it. 

Although I said that, I couldn’t help but laugh.

MC: But two people mixing the egg yolk batter together is always more interesting than doing it alone.

There was constant laughter on screen. I looked at Kiro who was always smiling on the screen and couldn’t help but lean into his arms.

His chin rested on my shoulder from behind and his warm breath brushed my neck.

It’s always a good time to need each other and be together. *Changed some wording*

MC: Next time, teach me how to make a mosquito net.

MC: Maybe in the future when we go on a trip, it will be useful.

Kiro: Okay, let’s make a big and beautiful mosquito net. 

MC: Huh? Why does it have to be so big?

Kiro: It can be used as an open-air tent. If you watch the stars at night, you don’t have to worry about being bitten by bugs.

I couldn’t help being amused by Kiro’s serious tone.

MC: Okay, let’s do it together.

Time is moving slowly and quietly, walking forward with a lazy pace. The lazy rest is close to the not-so-perfect Kiro.

Put together a cupcake with a honey-flavoured centre. *Changed some wording*

[Chapter 5]

When I had walked halfway towards the company, I decided to pull out my phone and call Kiki.

MC: Kiki, there are some things on my end that I can’t get away from. You can help me with the people from the other company and change the meeting to a virtual one.

MC: The contract has been sorted out, I will send it to them later. You are responsible for monitoring the online meeting.

Kiki: Mhhm, okay. Sounds good, boss. 

After temporarily solving the company’s problems, I returned to Kiro’s house.

In order to avoid disturbing Kiro, who might still be asleep, I opened the door very quietly.

But when I entered through the door, I saw Kiro sitting cross-legged on the floor with his back facing me.

Kiro: Cello, don’t move. 

A cat’s tail came out from his side, swinging back and forth uncomfortably, but was caught by Kiro in the next second.

Kiro: A few days ago, I didn’t play with you, which made you unhappy with me.

He was talking to himself, then sighed slightly.

Kiro: From now on I will play with you every day, but you are not allowed to bite your tail.

Kiro: If you bite your tail bald again, I will confiscate your dried fish!

Hearing what he said, I couldn’t help but laugh.

Kiro turned around when he heard the sound and when I saw Cello resting in his arms, I opened my eyes wide.

MC: You made a small flower for her bald spot.

A small flower made of pink wool is tied around Cello’s tail, which was probably taken from Kiro’s clothes. It covered most of the bald spot.

Kiro: Miss Chips, why are you back so soon?

Kiro was a little taken back, but because of my presence, there was an unconcealed smile in his eyes.

As I walked to Kiro’s side, I creased my eyes and opened my mouth.

MC: Because the witty Miss Chips changed the meeting to an online one, if it is synchronized with the time abroad, it will not start until the evening.

Kiro touched his chin thoughtfully.

Kiro: In other words, before the meeting, you still have a lot of time alone with me. 

MC: You can think of it like that.

Suddenly I saw the familiar sly smile in his eyes. I was stunned for a second as I realized something and then took a step back cautiously.

Kiro smiled innocently and brilliantly.

Kiro: Miss Chips can’t run away, you came back to me by “getting caught” by my net. *Changed some wording*

In the next second, he hugged my waist and his presence hit me overwhelmingly.

Cello jumped to the ground, licked her paws, and curiously tilted her head to look at everything in front of her.

Kiro led me to the sofa where I sat in his arms, my heartbeat still a little fast.

Kiro chuckled.

Kiro: Why does Miss Chips look like as if I’m going to do something bad?

His palm touched my bare back, arousing a shudder.

He looked down at me, but there was nothing else in his eyes other than like. 

I think of his unusual moments these past few days and my heart can’t help but feel moved.

The next second, I reached out and hooked my arms around Kiro’s neck. Kiro looked at me in a daze.

MC: Kiro, all the things that happen to you, I want to be the first person to share them with you.

I paused.

MC: Just as happiness and sadness are all the flavours of life we must experience;

MC: I want to be together in those bleak moments that must be experienced.

MC: Because--friction generates heat.

MC: So next time if you feel empty, let me stay with you.

MC: Let me fill your time.

Kiro’s eyes seemed to have a small sparkle of light in them after hearing my words.

After a while, I was pulled by Kiro and fell back into his arms.

Following his movements, my bag fell to the ground and a clear sound rang out. Kiro turned his head and glanced, leaning over and picking up a lipstick.

I reached out to take the lipstick, but Kiro grabbed my wrist.

He looked at me and suddenly put some on his lips slowly.

In the small and charming space, all his movements seemed to be slow and carefully planned, which made me suddenly think of the fragments I saw in the lens. 

Kiro: While eating hot pot, Miss Chips said that she regretted not being able to see my exclusive performance. 

He paused for a moment and gave a grin.

Kiro: Well now you can.

He raised his hand and the hot red in his palm brushed my hair and then letting it fall onto my back, bringing the smell of spices.

It’s like a light kiss.

I stiffened for a moment, only to feel that the spot touched by him was burning like fire, making me want to get closer.

MC: Kiro….

I muttered Kiro’s name softly. As if receiving some kind of response, he suddenly took my hand.

Then he lowered his head slightly and pressed his warm lips to my wrist.

Kiro: I’m here.

There was a warm touch from his skin and Kiro’s lips were still pressed against my wrist, but he lifted his eyes to look at me.

I blushed suddenly and wanted to lower my head and look away. The next second, I was firmly grasped with his other hand.

He held my hand and guided my fingertips past his lips.

His look was seductive, like a fairy falling into the world, unknowingly attracting me.

But perhaps, he knew it.

Kiro: Now I am sure that you have filled the most precious time in my world.

His blue eyes are as gentle as the sea and there is only a small me inside of them.

He looked at me and got closer, hot breath fell on the side of my neck accompanied by a soft voice.

Kiro: In fact, there have always been many temptations and difficulties on the way to becoming an actor.

Kiro: It’s a small boat called “Kiro”, sailing on the waves of the world. He often encounters danger, gets injured, and breaks.

The soft touch lingers from the side of my neck to my earlobe, and the breathy whispers fall on my ears very affectionately.

Kiro: But this one person, she found the boat on the boundless sea and repaired his damages.

Kiro: She then stayed on the boat and sailed the world with him to see glaciers and lakes.

Kiro: This person is called Miss Chips, and she is-- the beacon that guides me through the world. 

His voice is like falling petals; quiet and soft with the ultimate sincerity. *Changed some wording*

Kiro: In the play, Kiro’s emotions belong to the stage.

Kiro: But Kiro outside the play, his world, everything about him belongs to you.

The scorching temperature left my neck and he looked at me earnestly with undisguised emotions in his eyes, like the surging ocean tides.

I couldn’t help but hug his neck back.

MC: Kiro, you made me the best Miss Chips in the world.

MC: Let’s go to farther places together, see glacial lakes, and sail the world together….

MC: Nothing can make me leave your side.

The sunflower grows enthusiastically and his golden hair is soft and brilliant. The world is flourishing and beautiful, just like himself.

If I were Kiro’s beacon for sailing the world, then let me be that tower that illuminates him.

Because-- he is also the most indispensable part of my world.

End

[fandom-imagines-stories]

Already Gone

Dr. Spencer Reid x Reader

Words: 3477

Part One of Two

Summary: With a relationship interfering with your dangerous job, you force yourself to break things off with your boyfriend. Reid tries to maintain a professional relationship, but can’t deny his heart break. Inspired by Already Gone, a cover by Sleeping at Last. 

Notes: Welp. I can’t resist putting my boys through as much pain as possible and Spencer is no exception. I was actually inspired by a pair of imagines I did for Bellamy Blake a couple of years ago, so I recommend checking those out as well. As always, let me know what you think and what you look forward for in part two!

Warnings: Plenty of angst and violence

More Criminal Minds: HERE

-

It never would have worked out right

We were never meant for do or die

You had finally let it happen. You’d let your feelings cloud your judgement and nearly got a hostage killed. Throwing your badge down on your desk, you hunched over it, hands gripping the wooden edge and breathing heavily. You wanted to break something, anything, but most of all you wanted to punch the wall until your knuckles split. 

The rest of the team walked by your desk silently. They each knew you were beating yourself up, but they collectively decided it’d be best to let you cool off before anybody said anything. Even Hotch just gave you a reassuring nod and went to his office to fill out paperwork. While the group all moved on, one person remained. The one person you couldn’t look at right now. 

“Not now, Reid.” You snapped, jerking your head up to see his concerned eyes. You had hoped that your aggressive tone would make him steer clear, but he stood his ground. 

“You know what happened wasn’t your fault-”

“Don’t you start on me too.” You fell back into your chair, wanting to just disappear into the floor. 

“Can we at least talk?” Spencer’s quiet and hurt voice was breaking you and you just wanted to shut it out. You buried your face in your hands and felt his hand on your shoulder. You melted into his touch, your body giving in while your heart still ached over your mistake. You knew what you had to do. It was the only way to ensure nothing like today ever happened again. 

“Yeah, let’s go talk.” You said suddenly, heading to the elevator. Spencer followed you hesitantly, his face still painted with worry and confusion. As soon as the doors closed, he spoke. 

“I understand that you are upset about how things happened, but we still saved a young girl today.”

“No, Prentiss saved that girl. I almost let her die.” The elevator started its descent and you felt your body pulling you down with it. The weight on your chest was crushing you and while part of you knew that Spencer was the only one that could lift it off of you, you couldn’t afford to be that selfish anymore. 

“Y/N, that wasn’t your fault.” He reached out for you, but you pulled away. You kept your eyes forward, avoiding the wounded look in his eyes. 

“Yes. It was. Reid, the unsub got to me by using you.” 

“W-what do you mean?” His eyes widened. 

“He could tell that we’re together. Somehow, he knew and he used that against me. He told me everything he would do to you and I almost killed him.” You balled your fists at your sides, your mind running through everything that psycho had threatened to do to Spencer. “I almost killed him and lost that little girl because I couldn’t control myself. If Prentiss hadn’t found her in time…” 

“Y/N,” This time, when he grabbed your hands, you didn’t back away. He brought them up to his lips and gently kissed your knuckles- bruised from your struggle with the unsub, “it was one mistake. You hesitated. Agents hesitate all the time when they’re in a situation like that.”

“Not us, Reid. Not me.” You started to pull away, but his hands gripped yours. He wasn’t rough, but it was enough to keep you in place. 

“That’s another thing,” He started, his voice sounding more hurt than before, “why do you keep calling me Reid?” He was right. Like J.J., you always called him Spence, or Spencer, even before you’d started seeing each other. You never called him Reid like the rest of the team. Spencer let go of your hands so he could put a hand on your cheek. “Something else is wrong.”

“Yeah, Spence, it is.” You resisted the urge to lean into his touch. Instead, you stepped away from it. “We can’t do this anymore.” You kept your expression cold and collected, even if you were shattered within. Spencer’s face fell, eyes filling with even more confusion and pain. 

“What?”

“Come on, Reid. We were kidding ourselves into thinking this would work. There’s a reason team members aren’t supposed to hook up.”

“We aren’t just ‘hooking up’, Y/N. We understand each other and-and we make each other better at our job, not worse. We’ve made it work. That doesn’t have to change.” 

“You’re supposed to be the logical one, right?” You snapped. “Tell me the logic in us staying together.” He had tears in his eyes now and you had to fight to hold your guard up. 

“I love you.” He said softly. You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from crying out. He just kept looking at you in that way that made you want to hold him and say you were sorry. But you couldn’t. Not this time. “Logic isn’t a part of it.” 

“That’s the problem.” You put as much anger into your words as you could. It was the final piece for him and a tear escaped onto his cheek. You tore your eyes away, looking down at the pavement. “I have paperwork to do.” 

You kept yourself from all out running until you got inside. You didn’t have the patients for the elevator, so you just sprinted up the stairs, taking them two at a time and tripping more than once. You kept a straight face until you closed the door to Garcia’s office. 

“Hey girl, what’s-” She started, but immediately stopped when you threw your arms around her and started to sob. 

-

I want you to know, that it doesn’t matter

Where we take this road

But someone’s gotta go

You were never sure if he was looking at you because you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. You’d spent the weekend at Penelope’s house, bawling and convincing yourself that you did the right thing because you knew that even one moment of hesitation, and you would be at his apartment begging him to forgive you. 

Sensing the tension at the table, Morgan and Prentiss exchanged an uncomfortable look. Hotch had called you in on another case, but Rossi was stuck in traffic so you were forced to wait in a painfully awkward silence. 

“Jeez, kid, what’s going on with you?” Morgan looked at Reid, trying to get a read of what might be bothering him. 

“Nothing’s going on with me.” He replied coolly, keeping his gaze on the smooth surface of the desk. You felt Morgan’s inquiring stare turn to you, but you kept your eyes forward, desperately hoping Rossi would get there soon. 

“Sorry I’m late,” He entered the room with a scowl and took a seat with the rest of the team. “Damn roadwork.” 

“Alright, everyone,” J.J. began, passing out the files as she went around the table. Her hand briefly grazed your shoulder in a sign of sympathy. Somehow, she always knew. “Local authorities in Maine found the bodies of two women who had been reported missing two weeks ago. Their wrists showed signs of being bound, probably with duct tape, and they suffered multiple wounds to the chest. The M.E. thinks it was an arrow.”

“Bow hunting?” Prentiss suggested. 

“They said from the looks of the injuries, the arrow had to have been shot from a distance, so hunting is a possibility.” 

“Why shoot them more than once?” Morgan wondered, taking a look at the crime scene photos. 

“There’s one more thing.” J.J. sighed, clicking to a new picture on the screen. It was a smiling woman holding a child. “Rachel Bratton, 32, was reported missing a week after the first two victims. Police didn’t find her with the others so-”

“The unsubs might be holding her somewhere.” Hotch finished grimly. “Alright, everyone. Let’s move. Plane leaves in fifteen minutes.” 

Everyone hurried to grab their things from their desks. You just wanted to get out of that room. Before you grabbed your bag, however, you heard a quiet voice. 

“You aren’t even going to talk to me?” Spencer wondered, his voice sounded soft and broken. “I thought we could at least be friends.” 

“Reid, don’t do this now.” You begged. If he kept this up, you would break too and you couldn’t afford for that to happen. His jaw clenched and he reached into his jacket pocket. 

“Here.” He held out a closed fist, slowly opening his fingers to reveal a small golden star. It was your favorite hair pin. “You left this at my apartment. I thought you might want it back.” You picked up the small metal clip, running your fingers along the points. 

“Spence…”

“I’ll see you on the plane.” He snapped, snatching up his own bag and heading out. You cursed to yourself, shoving the pin into your pocket and following the team out to go to the airport. 

You found a seat to yourself and focused on looking over the case files despite the aching feeling in your chest. By the time the plane was ready to take off, everyone had found places and a blonde-framed face appeared in front of you. 

“Alright, spill.” J.J. ordered, crossing her arms over her chest. You sighed, keeping your eyes on the M.E.’s report. 

“I’m fine, Jen.” 

“Come on, don’t give me that. You’re lucky I convinced Morgan to back off. He was ready for a full on interrogation.” 

“I seriously don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Y/N, everybody knows something happened between you and Spence. You’ve been distant from everyone. He has been burying his head in books every spare second when he isn’t painfully looking at you.” She was blunt because it made you listen. “We’re worried.” 

“There’s nothing to be worried about. We got into a little fight. Friends fight.” 

“Just friends?” She raised a brow. She always knew. You leaned back in your seat, defeated. 

“We dated for a while, but it got in the way of work so I broke things off.” You finally admitted, trying to read her face for a reaction. “Happy?” She frowned sympathetically. 

“How long were you together?” She asked. Just thinking about it still stung. 

“Almost a year.” 

“And you two didn’t tell anyone this whole time?” She gasped. You shook your head. 

“We knew that Hotch wouldn’t approve.” You turned to the team as they got ready to make a plan. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over.” Just saying the words made the lump in your throat bigger. 

Hotch briefed everyone on their focus and where each member would be headed. You would be meeting with the missing woman’s fiancé. Along with Reid. 

“Shouldn’t I go with Morgan and Rossi to the dump sight? I feel like I can be more helpful there than talking to the distressed fiancé.” Reid said, his gaze slipping in your direction. Hotch just blinked in annoyance. 

“If we can understand Rachel’s routine, we can figure out how and where she was abducted. I need you to work on the geological profile.” He said sternly. He wasn’t oblivious to the awkwardness on the plane, but it wasn’t remotely on his list of problems. Reid didn’t say anything for the rest of the meeting. 

-

I didn’t come here to hurt you

Now I can’t stop

“I still feel like it’s my fault.” Brendon Nathonson sat with his head in his hands. “I was in a rush to get to work so I didn’t stop to see if she came back from her run that morning. I should have checked.”

“Does Rachel run every morning?” You asked, your tone sympathetic and soothing. You’d lost count of how many grieving or panicked loved-ones you’d spoken to over the years. It was one of the common parts of the job, but sitting next to Spencer made it feel different. Brendon nodded. 

“She was a track star in high school. Guess she never grew out of it, right?” He sniffed, wiping his face on his sleeve. “Do you have any idea where these psychos could be keeping her?”

“That’s actually what you might be able to help us with, Mr. Nathonson.” 

“What do you mean?”

“If we can figure out exactly where Rachel was taken, we can compare it to where the other two women were taken and found and possibly create a geological profile that could help us narrow down where the unsubs may operate out of.” Reid explained. The poor man still looked incredibly confused so you translated. 

“He means that these guys probably have an area that they’re comfortable working in, meaning both where they take their victims and where they may be keeping them.” 

“Oh god,” Brendon cried, covering his eyes with his hand. “You know, we kept pushing it back? The wedding. It was supposed to be in June, but then her sister couldn’t make it so we made it October, but then my best friend got sick. And now I might never get to marry her.” 

“We are going to do everything we can to bring Rachel home, Mr. Nathonson.” You tried to give him a reassuring smile, but the presence beside you was making your heart beat out of your chest. 

“She’s my everything, you know?” Brendon finally looked up again. “When you lose that… it’s like losing a part of yourself.” 

When the interview was over, you felt like you couldn’t breathe. Everything that Brendon Nathonson said was searing itself into your brain, echoing around and around like a bad song on repeat. You slammed the door of the main office, making sure no one was already in there. You pressed your forehead against the cool wood of the door, trying to calm yourself down. This was why you wanted to end things to begin with. You couldn’t control your emotions around him. Even now, despite the case, all you could think about was him and how much he hated you. 

A quiet knock startled you. You jumped back from the door, and forced yourself to calm down. Spencer slowly stepped inside, closing the door again behind him. 

“I saw you run in here.” He started softly. 

“I didn’t run.” You scoffed, more frustrated with yourself than anything else. “You probably need some time to do the geological profile. I’ll call Hotch and tell him what Nathonson said-” You started to leave, but his hand gently grabbed your arm. 

“Wait.” He pleaded, those perfect eyes staring deeply into yours. “Can we just talk?” 

“Spence…” You trailed off. Frankly, it’s all you had wanted to do. He at least deserved that. You blew out a heavy sigh and sat down. “Honestly, I haven’t been able to focus on this case because of all of this.” You ran a hand down your face.

“Neither have I.” Spencer sat down across from you, placing his hand on top of yours. “All I can think about is you.” Before, whenever he was with you, he thought clearer, focused more, and noticed every little detail of a case. Now, all he could think about was how much he missed you. 

“Once we get through this case, I promise that we’ll talk, okay?” There was so much you wanted to say right there, but you couldn’t find the words. I still love you was all that came to mind. Spencer nodded. 

“Then let’s make sure we solve this.” His awkward, crooked smile made you laugh and the two of you got to work trying to find Rachel Bratton.

-

You know that I love you so

I love you enough to let you go

The team circled the building, ready to go in. You were with Reid and Rossi, guns drawn as you went in the back door. It was an old meat processing plant that was located right in the middle of both the abduction and dump sights. Without Reid, you wouldn’t have been able to find it. You checked the back warehouse before moving onto another room, but not before you noticed something. A big metal door was cracked open just enough for you to get a peek inside. 

“Guys, over here.” You signaled, seeing Rachel Bratton sitting on the far side of a cage just inside the room.

“Please help me.” She begged. You tried to pry the door open more, but it wouldn’t budge. The opening was just wide enough that you could barely slide through, but you would have to take off your vest to fit. Before Rossi or Reid could say anything, you had undone the straps and were sliding through the narrow gap. 

“Is anybody in there with you?” You asked, still keeping your gun ready. Rachel shook her head. 

“No.” She gulped back a sob. “No, they went out that hatch.” 

“Y/N, maybe you should wait-”

“I’m fine, Reid.” You glanced back at him as you finally slipped into the room. “She said that they went outside. Let Hotch know.” 

Reluctantly, Reid followed Rossi back outside in pursuit of the killers. You made quick work of the lock on the cage and helped Rachel stand up. She collapsed against you, sobbing and thanking you over and over again. 

“Can you walk?” You asked gently. She nodded and you approached the hatch on the floor. Sure enough, it led down to the forest floor. You helped her down and kept your weapon out in front of you, keeping Rachel close behind. 

“Y/N!” Reid shouted, joining you again. Rossi flanked Rachel’s other side, keeping his eyes on the trees. 

“Have they found them?” You asked, afraid of the answer. Rossi shook his head. “Alright, we need to get back to the car so we can get Rachel to the hospital. Let’s move.” 

The four of you moved cautiously towards the front of the warehouse. The trees surrounding you rustled and groaned in the midwestern winds. You thought it was a trick of light at first, but when you saw the shining tip of an arrow, you aimed your weapon and fired. Mikah Roman tumbled across the forest floor towards you. Rachel screamed and latched onto Spencer. 

“Mikah Roman, you’re under arrest for the murder of Abbie Stockwell and Bonnie Andrews and the kidnapping of Rachel Bratton.” You yanked Mikah’s arms behind his back, causing him to scream out. The shot in his arm was gushing blood as you cuffed his wrists. 

Rossi’s gaze jerked upwards suddenly and Reid pushed away from Rachel, calling out your name. You whirled around to see what they were looking at.

“No!” Spencer screamed, watching the arrow enter the center of your chest. You didn’t hear your own gasp over the sound of Rossi’s gun shot, taking out the second killer without hesitation. Funnily enough, you couldn’t hear Rachel’s screaming sobs. You just heard a small voice in your ear. Arms were holding you up off the ground, pulling you into their lap. When did you fall? Why was your shirt wet? 

“Spencer…” You started, but your words came out garbled and breathy. What was happening? Why was your chest so sore? 

“Shhh, don’t talk.” Spence put his hands on your wound. Why did he look so scared? 

“W-what’s going on?” You gasped, the pressure from his hands making you cry out. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He muttered, blood quickly coating his hands. Rossi was lifting Micah to his feet and speaking into the radio in a panicked voice. That’s when Spencer started yelling. “Somebody help! Help us! Agent down! Somebody help us! Please, she needs help!” You finally understood what was going on, the initial shock of your injury clearing from your mind. 

“Spencer…”

“Somebody help!”

“Spence.” You reached up and touched his cheek. “I-I’m okay.” 

“Help is on the way.” Through the sound of his heart pounding, he could hear footsteps approaching. The rest of the team gathered around, Prentiss stopping cold at the sight in front of her. Spencer smiled with delusional relief. “See, Hotch and Morgan and Prentiss are all here. They can help you-” He looked back down and stopped. 

Your head was tilted back, a small trail of blood trickled down from your mouth. Your eyes blankly staring up at the clouded, grey sky. His crimson stained hands reached for your face, smearing the blood on the skin of your cheek. He recoiled from the sight, instead wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer to him. 

Morgan made a step towards Reid, the younger agent’s quiet sobs growing louder and louder until they were unbearable. Hotch put a hand out to stop him. He knew that Reid needed this moment. He needed to say goodbye.

And I want you to know, you couldn’t have loved me better

But I want you to move on

So I’m already gone

-

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination;  @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado; @suckmyapplejacks; @kendahl0216