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holylulusworld · 4 years ago

Text

Deafening Silence

Summary: Steve and you are falling apart. Can you save your marriage?

Pairing: Nomad!Steve x fem!Reader

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Sharon Carter (mentioned), Tony Stark

Warnings: angst, language, unrequited love?, arguments, you and Steve go through a rough patch in your relationship, regrets, a hint of fluff, pissed reader, sadness

A/N: Not Endgame compliant. No one died, everyone is still alive and kicking.

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Another cold night awaits you. Once upon a time you and Steve were undefeatable and, to be honest, sickening in love. Now you lie on the edge of the bed, try to not get too close to your husband as he always finds an excuse to not hold you in his arms any longer.

Tears well up to your eyes hearing him snore lightly next to you. Wondering if he’s losing sleep lately too but the way he peacefully sleeps tells you, he’s not letting his mind run wild.

“No sleep for me again, I guess,” silently leaving the bed you grasp one of his shirts to press it to your nose. It’s the only time you can catch his scent, so you take what you get. “Sleep well, Stevie. You don’t seem to have problems falling asleep.”

As so often lately, you walk out of the bedroom to grab a snack or watch nonsense on TV to take your mind of the problems right in front of you. Somewhere on the line you and Steve lost your love, or you lost Steve. You haven’t found out yet.

All you know is that the deafening silence between you and your husband is breaking you every day more.

“Can’t find sleep?” Bucky asks, watching you sit on one of the chairs in the kitchen. Steve invited his friend to sleep a few weeks at your guestroom as his apartment got blown up by one of New Hydra’s goons.

“I just-“ you bite your tongue, shaking your head every so lightly. You like Bucky, he’s your friend, but you can’t talk about Steve with him. He’s your husband’s best friend and would side with Steve over anyone. “Sometimes I got problems to fall asleep, is all,” you lie poorly.

“What about Steve?” searching your face Bucky nods silently. He can see your red-rimmed eyes and hear your tiny sighs whenever Steve ignores your present. “Maybe you want hot cocoa? I can make you some, doll.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just sit here for a while, ya know,” playing with your wedding band you don’t meet Bucky’s gaze, fearing he’ll see through your lie. “I just got a lot of things going on right now. We are back, work with Tony and the others again. Maybe we just need time to adapt.”

“If I can help, tell me so,” offering a cracked smile you nod, knowing you can’t take Bucky up to his offer. “You’re my friend too. How about we watch a movie and talk a bit?”

“I appreciate your offer, but I’m not in the mood to talk, Bucky,” sadly you are too tired and emotionally exhausted to even talk about the thing weighing heavy on your heart.

“Y/N,” walking toward Bucky places one hand onto your shoulder, squeezing it lightly. “Just talk to him, doll. Steve loves you and-“ you huff. It’s the first reaction he gets from you making clear you are hurt.

“I don’t want to talk about it, him,” voice cracking you watch Bucky rummage in your kitchen to prepare cocoa for you.

“You went through a lot together over the last years,” Bucky begins, eyes drifting toward you slumped in your chair. “Ultron, the accords, me,” you laugh when Bucky gives you a wink. “I know, I’m the most charming event rocking the boat but then there was the war between the Avengers, Thanos, the blip, and after that-”

“Steve told me he thought about going back to Peggy for a split-second, that life back then was easier and more-“ you try to find the right words but fail. “All I got was that he’s still a man out of time and that he’s sorry for considering going back.”

“Well, shit-“ Bucky grumbles. “I didn’t know, I swear. Here I stand, believing I know everything about my friend,” you shrug, watching Bucky prepare two mugs. “Did he at least apologize?”

“He did, more than once and I forgave, but never forgot,” sniffing you look at Bucky. “Since then, he started to distance himself from me. I feel like he regrets coming back to me, Bucky.” gasping you realize you just revealed your thoughts.

“Doll...”

“Please don’t tell him. I know Steve is a good man, but sometimes I think it would be easier for me if he just does what he has on his mind for months – file for divorce.”

“Anything from Steve?” watching Bucky check his phone you sigh deeply. Steve disappeared this morning, out of the blue. “Why didn’t he tell us about his mission? He always told me about his missions, confidential or not.”

“I got nothing either, doll,” grumbling Bucky sit on the couch, scrolling through his contacts. “Shall I call Tony or Natasha? Maybe they can fill us in why Stevie just grabbed a bag and left without telling us about his mission.”

“No,” biting your lower lip you wreck your brain. Maybe Steve did tell you about his mission? Lately, you are too lost in thoughts and self-doubts and barely listen if Steve finally talks to you. “I have work to do at the new tower. I will ask Tony if he can tell me about Steve’s whereabouts.”

“Okay,” wondering again Bucky looks at his phone, shaking his head at Steve’s message from last night.

“Steve is not on a mission?” gaping at Tony you try to hide you can hear your heart pounding in your ears. “I thought he went on a mission last night. Did I confuse the date?”

“There is no mission for Capsicle,” Tony snickers. “According to my information, he took a week off. Said something about sorting things out. Honestly, I didn’t listen.”

“O-okay,” you swallow thickly, force a smile on your lips hurting your face. “I got it wrong then. I finished my reports. You should check on the sidenotes about the bank accounts. Maybe E.D.I.T.H. can check on the accounts later.”

“Y/N, is everything alright? You look a little shaken up or something,” Tony watches you fiddle with your phone, knowing something must be off with you and your husband. “Do you need my help? You know that you can tell me anything.”

“It’s nothing, really,” the lie rolls easily off your tongue, you are used to lying to yourself for months so why not lying to your friends too. “I just need some time off, Tony.”

Aimlessly walking the streets of New York, you doubt your husband once again.

Tony said he’s not on a mission. All of your friends don’t know where he could be and Bucky, well he said Steve didn’t tell him anything.

“Where are you Steve?” looking at your phone you sigh deeply. “Fine, we will do it the hard way. E.D.I.T.H., please use the tracking app we put on Steve’s phone. I need to find Captain America. It’s an emergency.”

“Tracing Captain Rogers’ phone,” E.D.I.T.H. replies. “Captain Rogers’ phone is not far away. He’s at a café, P.J. Clarke’s on 55th and 3rd, agent Rogers. Can I help you with anything else?”

“No, thank you,” walking faster you grip your phone tightly. Why is Steve at a café at that time of the day? He never disappeared only to take a day off and sip coffee.

If a heart can shatter, yours does in the very moment you arrive at the café only to see Steve sit at a table with Sharon Carter.

You haven’t seen her for years, but you must admit, she looks great as always.

“Stevie,” you whisper, hands clutched tightly to your chest when Sharon places her hand onto Steve’s on the table and he doesn’t move his hand away. He smiles, even chuckles at something the woman says. “A Carter again, how pathetic. Fuck that. Fuck fighting for our love if you refuse to even try.”

Unbeknownst you saw him with Sharon your husband tries to ask his friend for advice. Missing your pained expression and the tears run down your face when you storm off.

“Doll! Fuck I was worried about you. Tony called, asked if you are okay. He said Steve is not on a mission and that he took a week off,” Bucky watches you storm into your and Steve’s apartment. “Y/N, something wrong?”

“Everything is wrong, Bucky. But from now on, I’ll take my life back in my hands,” you quip. “I would appreciate it if you could get me my ‘I hate early mornings mug’, I want to take it with me,” walking toward your bedroom you ignore Bucky follows you.

“What do you mean by taking it with you?” while you get two suitcases out, Bucky tries to make you talk to him. “Do you want to go on a mission? Why so many suitcases?”

“Oh, Stevie was busy to take a week off while I was worried about him,” you quip, opening your drawer to grab random clothes, tossing Steve’s onto the floor. “Imagine my surprise when I traced his phone only to find him with another Carter.”

“Sharon?” humming you neatly fold your clothes to place them into the first suitcase. “Did he-?”

“No, but I guess Steve is just not man enough to file for divorce to be with her,” glaring at Bucky you make your way back toward the wardrobe to grab more clothes. “While I tried to save our marriage, Steve sits in a café and allowed that woman touch his hand. He smiled at her Bucky. I didn’t get a smile from him for months.”

“Doll, you can’t just leave without talking to him,” Bucky tries to stop you, but you made up your mind. Before you met Steve, you were wild, feisty, and stubborn but he tamed you and your free spirit. “Wait, let me call him.”

“I tried to call him this morning and after I saw him with that woman,” slamming the first suitcase shut you glare at Bucky. “He didn’t answer. It was his last chance to explain things to me, Bucky. Now I’m done waiting for Steve to tell me it is over, we are over.”

“What’s that?” looking at a neatly folded letter on your bed Steve feels his chest tightening. Your wedding band lies abandoned on the letter, but you are nowhere to be found.

“She saw you with Sharon yesterday. I guess taking off a week to meet up with an old flame and ignoring your wife called you about ten times wasn’t the smartest plan,” Bucky shrugs. “I called you too.”

“I need time to figure things out,” Steve sits on the bed, pressing the wedding band in his hand to his chest. “We went through a rough patch and I didn’t know how to fix things between Y/N and me.”

“Not talking to her and getting all cozy with Sharon was a great idea,” gritting the words out Bucky watches his friend unfold the letter with shaking fingers. “Steve.”

“I-I just didn’t know if Y/N still wants me after I admitted that I was tempted to go back to Peggy. She was distant for a few weeks and then, she almost clang to me. As if Y/N tried to fake she forgave me,” reading the letter Steve sniffles silently. “Oh, god she wants to file for divorce.”

“What?” grasping for the letter Bucky reads the last lines you wrote.

‘As you aren’t man enough to tell me that you don’t love me anymore, I will tell you it’s over. You don’t have to be the bad guy, Captain. The papers will reach you soon. Have a great life with Sharon…’

“Do you know where she went, Bucky?” jumping up Steve looks for his keys, already grasping for his phone to call you back. “Buck!”

“She came here, packed two suitcases, and left. I tried to stop her, but she didn’t listen, Steve. I don’t think Y/N will call you back.”

“Then I’ll have to find her, no matter what…”

“A whole month!” Steve waltzes into your apartment, panting heavily. His hair longer again, a thick beard framing his face he wraps you in a hug. “I was so worried, doll. How could you just leave without a trace?”

“Didn’t think you would miss me, Steven,” using his full name on purpose, you smirk as Steve flinches. “I believed Sharon would soothe the pain and fill the tiny gap I left in your life.”

“Y/N,” mumbling your name Steve pecks your hair while his hands run up and down your back. “I swear, I’m not with Sharon and I don’t want her, doll. When you saw me with her, I gave her something Peggy left for me. It was the first step to give up my past.”

“You held hands, and you smiled at her, Steven. Don’t lie to me,” you push against his chest, try anything to break out of his embrace. “I’m not stupid nor blind.”

“She grasped for my hand as I gave her the medallion Peggy left me. I smiled as she thanked me, and we remembered the last days with Peggy. Y/N, please believe me there is nothing between me and Sharon,” Steve desperately tries to not let you slip out of his embrace, but you fight him with all your strength.

“That’s the reason you take a week off and instead of having dinner with me, you meet up with that woman. Your former girlfriend,” you growl, pushing against Steve’s chest. “I tried to fix us, and you just ran off.”

“I wanted to clear my mind,” Steve mumbles. “I was afraid you are still mad at me for admitting that I thought about going back in time for Peggy for a second. I’m bad at admitting my feelings. I was afraid to lose you and handled it the wrong way.”

“Pushing me away to keep me was a great plan,” you give up fighting Steve’s strength, hating he’s so much stronger than you are once again. “You hurt me and now you come here and want me to do what?”

“Please come home, doll,” pecking your forehead Steve mumbles apologies against your skin. “Your husband is an idiot when it comes to feelings. I love you, love you so much. We need to work on our marriage but please don’t give up on us.”

“Like you did months ago?” cursing under your breath you glare at Steve when he tries to kiss you. “Fixing things between us won’t be that easy, Steve. You hurt me with your behavior. If you want me to come back, you’ll have to do more than coming here and looking like the man I’ve missed.”

“I’ve missed you too, doll,” pecking your lips Steve slides his fingers through your hair. “Please come home and I’ll do anything you want me to do. Tell me how to fix us.”

“Maybe Bucky can give you advice,” you smirk, breaking out of Steve’s embrace to walk into your living room. “He’s a man who can talk with a woman.”

“When did Bucky talk to you? Doll?” while you check on your phone Steve starts to pace your living room. “Did he touch my girl?”

“Why would your best friend touch me, Stevie?” you coo. “I mean, Sharon only touched your hand, right. There is no reason for me to be mad. What if Bucky did the same or Tony? Maybe Sam hugged me a bit longer than necessary.”

“I will kill them,” Steve balls his hands into fists, stares daggers into the picture of you and the team. “Tell me who dared to touch my wife,” nostrils flaring, chest heaving up and down Steve points at the picture.

“See,” you walk toward your husband, placing your hand onto his heart before you meet his gaze. “That’s how I felt when you let that woman touch you. You gave her my smile while you ignored me.”

“I didn’t ignore you; it was just-“ sighing Steve hangs his head low. “I get it, doll and I’m sorry. If you give me a chance to prove that I can be the man you deserve, I’ll try to do so every day from now on…”

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marvelmusing · 4 years ago

Text

Inseparable

Steve Rogers x GN!Reader

My Masterlist

You’ve been offering the Avengers legal advice for years. You helped them authorise their missions, and make sure they were protected from the government. In all your time working with them, you’ve never seen anything like the Accords.

“How’s it going?” Steve leans against the door frame of your office at the Avengers compound. You look up at him, the lamp beside you providing little light for you to see him properly. Sighing, you hold up the heavy document, as he sits beside you,

“I’ve highlighted everything I have an issue with.” Steve shifts closer to see the ridiculous amount of yellow highlighter as you flick through the pages. “As you can see it’s not looking great.”

“Thanks for reading through this, sweetheart. I really appreciate it.” You reach out and take his hand.

“Hey, it’s my job to protect you guys. You fight the bad guys. I make sure you keep your human rights.” You joke. Though after reading the Accords you realise it’s not too far from the truth. He gives you a small smile. You squeeze his hand gently. The news of Peggy’s death affected him much more than he let on. It breaks your heart to see him like this. “How’re you doing?” He sighs quietly.

“Not too bad.” You trace your thumb over his hand.

“When’s the funeral?”

“In two days.” You nod. The day of the Accords signing.

“I can come with you?” You offer, though it’s likely he’ll want to be alone. He shakes his head,

“You’re needed here.”

“Not if you need me.” He smiles at your insistence.

“Sam’s offered to come with me. I’ll be okay.” You nod, glad that Sam will be with him.

“I love you.” You whisper, as you pull his hand to your lips. He gives you another smile,

“Love you too.” You look down at the Accords.

“You don’t have to sign this, Steve. You can wait. Wait until I’ve made sure it’s safe, for everyone, to sign it. In the meantime you’ll just have to lay low. Be a little more domestic.” You smile at him softly, “We can have date night on Fridays, movie night on Saturdays, then we can have a roast on Sunday. You could try out some of your Ma’s old recipes.” He seems comforted by your suggestion.

“Is this a sneaky way of getting me to cook you dinner?” You smirk at him, glad he’s smiling more.

“Perhaps?” You rest your head against his shoulder, and he places a kiss against your forehead. “We’ll sort this out, my love.”

“Thank you, doll.”

You’re thinking of Steve when you’re in Vienna, when politicians mention how they wish he was there you agree with them. You do wish he was here. Though you know he’ll never sign the Accords as they are now. You stand at the back of the room, among the hoards of diplomats, assistants, and translators. Then the bomb goes off, and the chaos erupts. You soon find Natasha, and the two of you make it out. You both help with evac before finding out King Chaka is amongst the casualties. And that the main suspect for the bombing is the Winter Soldier. Bucky Barnes. Steve’s best friend. Natasha goes to sit with Prince T’Challa. You decide to take a walk along the street, to clear your head. You look down at your phone, seeing Steve’s name flash up on the screen. You answer quickly,

“Hey.”

“You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was near the back, so I got lucky.” You hear Steve breathe a sigh of relief, in the background of the call you hear a police siren. You hear the same siren as the car pulls up across the street from you. You stand up, looking around for Steve. You can’t spot him. “I know you’ll want to find Bucky. But please, stay home. I can sort this out.”

“You saying you’ll arrest me?”

“No. I won’t. But someone will. We said we’d lay low after the signing. You’re not going to are you?”

“Doll, if he’s this far gone. I should be the one to bring him in.”

“Steve. Stay safe, please.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too, Rogers.” You hear him hang up. You look around, hoping to see him somewhere. No sign of him. You sigh, hoping he won’t do anything drastic.

Then you find out Steve’s been arrested. Along with Sam, Bucky, and King T’Challa. So you head to the Task Force Headquarters in Berlin. You watch as they bring Bucky in, locked in a large metal cell. You frown in annoyance. You head towards the black van that’s just parked up. The door is opened and Steve gets out, with Sam, and T’Challa behind him. You stand next to Agent Carter and Agent Ross, a large number of soldiers surrounding the area. Steve looks towards Bucky before turning his gaze to you.

“What’s gonna happen?” He asks as he strides towards your group.

“Same thing that ought to happen to you. Psychological evaluation, and extradition.” You frown at Ross.

“This is Everett Ross,” you introduce him. “Deputy Task Force Commander.”

“What about a lawyer?” Steve asks. Ross smiles,

“A lawyer, that’s funny.”

“I’m working on it.” You tell Steve. Ross gives you a hard stare, which you return.

“Agent Carter, see their weapons are placed in a lockup. We’ll write you a receipt.”

“I better not look out the window and see anybody flying around in that.” Sam comments as the group follows Ross. You stay close to Steve’s side, as he glances back at Bucky. Bucky’s eyes meet Steve’s then glance to you momentarily. He looks almost resigned to his fate. You take a breath before calling out to Ross,

“Why isn’t Sergeant Barnes with the rest of the group?” He laughs quietly,

“You’re kidding?” You shake your head at him. “You’re asking why one of the world's deadliest assassins isn’t walking next to us?”

“The Winter Soldier is one of the world’s most deadly assassins. Sergeant Barnes is America’s longest serving prisoner of war. If this is the respect you give our veterans you should be ashamed of yourself.” Ross isn’t laughing anymore.

“He blew up the UN.”

“Innocent until proven guilty.” You counter. “What proof do you have that he did it?”

“He was photographed at the scene.”

“One grainy photograph is hardly substantial evidence, Commander.” He sighs, knowing that you won’t drop this,

“I’m not the one you should be taking this up with.”

“Who is then?” He gestures towards the glass windows of the office you’re approaching. Where Tony is standing, talking on the phone. After a brief exchange between your groups, Steve sits in one office with Tony. Whilst you stay with Sam and Nat in another office nearby. You look over to Steve as he and Tony talk. It doesn’t take long before their voices are raised at one another. Steve soon heads out and joins you and Sam. Nat goes to stand with Tony whilst the UN psychologist talks with Bucky. You press a button on the intercom which allows you to hear what’s going on. Steve looks down at the photograph taken of Bucky, supposedly when he was in Vienna.

“Why would the Task Force release this photo of him anyway?” Sharon tries to justify it. You have an awful fear that something’s about to happen. Then the power goes out. You tell Steve where they’re holding Bucky, and with that Steve and Sam rush off. You don’t know at the time, but that’s the last time you see Steve for some time.

He gives you one call. He explains that he’s still in Berlin. That he has to go to Siberia, to stop the doctor from releasing the Winter Soldiers. You tell him you understand, you know he has to do this. He tells you to take care of yourself. You tell him to be safe. That you love him. He loves you back. You hear about the fight at the airport. That Sam, Clint, Wanda, and Scott have been arrested and sent to the Raft. Secretary Ross ignores your demands to see them. You hope that, wherever Steve and Bucky are, they’re safe. Then you see Tony. He seems uncomfortable around you. Like he’s seeing Steve everytime he looks at you, and when that thought crosses his mind, he seems guilty. Like he hasn’t told you something.

Months go by. You don’t hear from Steve at all. Random government agents keep stopping by your apartment to ask you about Steve. It makes you consider leaving, going somewhere else, away from everything that’s happened. But you stay, in the hope that it’ll help Steve find you. One morning you’re woken up by someone hammering at your door. You pull yourself out of bed, and head to the door. It’s some more government agents. They seem new to the game, their threats are half hearted and once you recite all the laws they’d be breaking if they entered your apartment they soon lose their mojo.

“Listen, I have no idea where Captain Rogers is. I assure you, if he happens to swing by, you will be the first to know.” Like hell you’d tell them. They see that you’re not budging, say their goodbyes and leave. It’s not even half an hour until there’s another knock at your door. Granted it’s more gentle than your morning wake up, but it still grates at your nerves. You head to the door, calling out, “For the last Goddamn time, I have no idea where Steve,” you pull open your door. “Rogers is.” You whisper out the last part, shocked by the sight in front of you. It’s him. It’s Steve. You throw yourself into his arms, pulling inside the apartment. He breathes your name against your neck, holding you as close as possible. He pulls back, cupping your face in his hands, looking you up and down.

“Are you alright?” He asks. You laugh a little,

“Am I alright? Steve, what happened to you? I heard Tony say you fought, nobody told me what happened. I feared the worst.”

“I’m okay, I promise. I’m so sorry for leaving you.” You shake your head,

“You did what you had to do. It’s okay, my love.” He nods, pulling you close again.

“I broke our friends out of the Raft.” You look up at him. You know he’d never leave them to pay for standing with him. You nod,

“Bucky?”

“He’s safe.”

“Good.” He squeezes your waist, wanting you closer than ever. He sighs,

“I know you wanted to fix this. I’m sorry, doll. But I don’t see how we can work this out legally anymore.” You shake your head,

“We can’t. That doesn’t matter to me anymore. As long as I have you, that’s all that matters to me.” He sighs,

“I’ll be running from the law now. I’ll let you know how I am when I can. I-” You pull away from him, frowning. You head to your kitchen. “Sweetheart, I know it’s not ideal-” You reach into the cupboard under the sink and pull out the emergency bag you kept hidden there.

“I’m coming with you.” You turn back to him as his eyes widen in surprise.

“It’ll be dangerous.”

“I know. But you’re not leaving me here.” He knows that look on your face. There’s nothing you can’t argue your way out of. He smiles at you,

“Wouldn’t dream of it, doll.”

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wienerbarnes · 4 years ago

Text

A Certain Romance (2/6)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 1,685

Warnings: not rlly anything

A/N: a lil bit of a deeper dive for these two’s relationship👀... enjoy!

MAIN MASTERLIST | A CERTAIN ROMANCE MASTERLIST

Your apartment is nice. Very you.

Sam invited him out to some restaurant, but after the last one he suggested, he decided to pass. And when Sam asked him what he was doing instead, if he was seeing you, Bucky lied and said yes. It made Sam happy and got him out of going to another ridiculous restaurant, so he saw it as a win-win.

Once Sam left, though, his thoughts did drift to what you were doing.

You two exchanged numbers at the pizza place after your date, but you two haven’t texted much. He texted you making sure you got home safe, which you did, and a day or so after, you texted him a picture of some advertisement with an awfully cheesy pick-up line written on it, which even he agreed was awful.

But that’s about it. So, he texts you.

Hey. What are u doing?

About to make dinner. Y?

Told Sam I was seeing u. Wanna hang out?

Come over.

Simple enough, he thinks.

You two haven’t had the most meaningful text conversations, clearly, but it’s still nice. No flirting, no typing and retyping messages in order to hook, line, and sinker, no ghosting. No relationship texting.

It was a dream for him. To have a new friend. He’s made plenty of friends, both in New York and in Wakanda. But it’s all under the same… umbrella. Always an agent, a fighter, an analyst of some sort. Someone to train with, to fight with, to fight for. Never someone like you. Someone that works a mundane job and lives in a mundane part of New York where her weekends are filled with going on mundane blind dates or otherwise cooking dinner for one.

It’s a breath of fresh air to not talk about fighting or missions or press or media or anything else he has to hear about at work. The only connection you have with Sam is that you met in a coffee shop a few years ago that has since closed down. He was one of your first friends here.

You could care less about Captain America, too. Which hurts Sam’s ego, and in turn, makes Bucky smile.

So, he goes over to yours.

He’s not sure what you’re making, but he brings a bottle of red wine as a courtesy. You are making dinner after all. Besides, women love wine, right?

Your apartment is nice. Very you.

Enough going on to show that someone does indeed live here, but also enough to show that you’re not exactly swimming in riches, like most people that live in this city.

The place smells like garlic and basil, and he’s glad that he brought the wine.

Shoes discarded at the door, he helps chop up the rest of the ingredients while you put a pot of water to boil. He chops up mushrooms, onion, pancetta, eyeing the bottle of vodka out on the table and tube of tomato paste next to his hand.

It's an understatement to say he’s excited. Most of the pasta he makes is from a bag of precooked noodles and a jar of tomato sauce.

Basic small talk floats through the air as the two of you dance around one another in the kitchen. Even though you’re “dating”, you don’t know much about each other. This isn’t too uncommon from how dating was for Bucky when he was a teenager; you’d marry women knowing very little about them.

Your favorite color is orange. You played violin in grade school. You had a childhood dog named Chowder. Bucky tells you his favorite color is green. He played a little bit of piano when he was younger, but did boxing in his late teens and early twenties before the war. You poke fun at him when he can’t remember the name of his own childhood dog.

“He’s probably rolling over in dog-heaven.”

“Good boy; he’d deserve a treat.”

You laugh.

Easy conversation continues on the couch as bowl after bowl of pasta is eaten and replenished. As fun and seemingly simple questions are asked, like each of your favorite movies or whether or not you pour the milk before the cereal, the room that’s left is used for deeper questions.

“What’s your most embarrassing moment?” You ask him.

He thinks for a moment before opening his mouth, only to close it again. “One time when Princess Shuri was fixing my arm it wasn’t secure completely, so it flew off while I was playing with some of the children.”

“That’s not your most embarrassing moment. I know it’s not, now you have to tell me what it really is.” You tease him.

He’s never been the best liar.

“You’re right, it’s not my most embarrassing moment. My actual most embarrassing moment is just kind of… sad. And I didn’t want to ruin the mood or anything.” He explains, hoping you’ll accept that but instead you give him an encouraging smile to hopefully give him some comfort that whatever it is he wants to tell you is safe in your apartment.

“Okay, uhm. So, in the 40’s, after I was rescued by Steve, but before we shipped out again where I was recaptured for the second and final time. We were all holed up in this little dance club, all the soldiers and their gals. And in walks Peggy Carter in a pretty red dress,” He begins, only glancing at your eyes periodically as if to make sure you’re still there.

“I know she’s Steve’s gal, he told me all about her. I wasn’t flirting with her because I wanted her, I was flirting with her… to make sure I still could. I mean, after being held in that… place… they injected me with stuff, told me things that weren’t true, I mean Steve told me I was repeating my number over and over again when he found me, I didn’t even remember doing that. I felt… violated, used, not like myself. I felt like I wasn’t me anymore.

“So, when Peggy walked in, I thought about how everyone always called me a ladies man, how good I was with women, I mean, I’d take girls out about every damn weekend, you know? I wanted to feel normal, so I flirted with her, tried to get her to dance with me. And she completely ignored me. She never even took her eyes off of Steve. It’s like I was invisible. And it just sort of felt like the nail in the coffin for whoever James Barnes was before the war. It was a realization that I’m never going to be that person again. And it was embarrassing for me.” He explains.

He hasn’t looked up at you again, but he heard your fork stop moving around your bowl a minute or so ago. He feels a lump in his throat thinking about that time, how he knew he’d never get back the man he was, even before knowing what was in store for him after falling off that train. How he used to be this man that wanted a long, happy marriage, six or seven kids running around a big backyard, a white picket fence surrounding a big two-story house in a neighborhood of identical homes. He wanted the cheesy life, at one point. But the same man that wanted that life died falling off a train many years ago.

All of that’s forgotten, though, when you open your mouth, and seem to say the perfect thing to make him feel better.

“One time in the third grade, this girl pulled my skirt down in front of my crush, and I wasn’t wearing any undies.”

A snort escapes his throat as you, somehow, after he’s shared something so deeply personal, something he never even told Steve or Sam about, still found a way to make him laugh. Which is what he wanted, he realizes. The comfort of moving on from that confession and not having to wallow in it like other people would try to. His hand leaves his fork to cover his face as tears threaten to leak out from how hard he’s laughing.

He took that secret to the grave, even if it wasn’t his own. He told himself he’d never tell Steve about how he felt in that situation, and he never did. He never told Steve that he didn’t enlist, either. He couldn’t imagine how Steve would’ve felt knowing that the army would’ve rather taken men that didn’t want to go to war, men who were terrified to go to war, had too much to lose and wanted to be selfish and stay home, than men like Steve who would do anything to enlist. Including lying on the damn enlistment form.

He wonders if Steve is looking at him now. Watching over him as he shares something that he never did with his best friend, with you, a girl he’s met barely a week ago, on your couch over bowls of pasta while he points out leftover sauce on the corner of your lip.

“What’s your greatest fear?” He asks you next.

“Dying alone. Actually, no. Getting kidnapped, probably.”

“Oh, mine’s spiders.” He shares.

It’s so easy to laugh with you, he finds. He jokes with Sam a lot, all the bickering and teasing all in good fun at the end of the day, and it’s mostly pretty funny. But laughing with you. He feels like a teenager again. Somehow, everything is funny; he doesn’t remember the last time he’s laughed so much, especially about things that aren’t even that funny.

It’s raining at the end of the night. Early morning, rather.

“You can take the couch, if you’d like.”

“Nah, I don't mind a little rain, and I like the ride home.” He fed Alpine before he left, but he imagines his cat misses him, even if she’s probably busy licking herself to even notice he’s left.

“Suit yourself.”

You don’t push him. A simple pleasure that’s more of a luxury for him. There’s no pushing or convincing or Are you sure’s with you.

Certainly a luxury, you are.

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes au #marvel

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donutloverxo · 4 years ago

Text

Before you

*not my gif*

Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

Note - this was requested by the lovely @whimsicalrogers thanks for all the icons, lock screen and dividers you made me! Thanks for the beta and all your advice @stargazingfangirl18. I hope I do you all proud🤭

Summary - Yours and Steve's relationship was perfect, until it wasn't. Will he be able to convince you to give him another chance?

Warnings - smut (m/f), jealousy, angst, dom/sub undertones.

Pairing - Steve Roger x reader

Word count - 4552

Masterlist is linked in the bio!

As someone who grew up watching an unhealthy amount of Disney movies and romcoms, you couldn’t help but dream, that someday your prince charming would come riding in on a white horse to whisk you away from your boring mundane life.

Someone you could love and hold forever, who’d do the same for you. Someone who’d always be there for you, to pick you up when you fall, to make you laugh when all you want to do is cry. Someone who’d be your everything and treat you as if you’re the most special person in the whole world.

But adulthood killed all those dreams all too easily. You learned the hard way that people didn’t really belong to each other. They barely even listened to when another person was talking.

You thought you came close a couple of times, but you never did find your special person. Everyone walks on their paths alone. And maybe it was better that way. You weren’t sure if you could ever completely open up and give yourself to someone else.

That was until Steve came along. He was someone as lost as you and even lonelier. Finding himself in a world he no longer recognised and among people he couldn’t really trust. It didn’t take that long for him to trust you.

You had put on Snow White which was Steve’s favorite from back in his day. You couldn’t help but insert yourself in the fairy-tale. After all Steve did always call you his princess.

“Steve?” You mumbled into his chest laying on top of him as the end credits played.

“Yes, sugar?” He replied running his hands through your hair before drawing small soothing patterns on your back.

He only had to move his nose an inch to smell your hair and get a whiff of your soft soothing scent. Who knew something so simple could be so blissful.

As much as he loved taking you out on the town and courting you to show you a good time and do all the things he never thought he could, he also loved spending these quiet evenings in with you. Where it was just him and you, the rest of the world just seemed to disappear. He wouldn’t trade them for anything.

“Never mind,” You shook your head. ‘It’s soon. You’ll scare him off.’ That incessant annoying voice in your head said.

“Hey,” He propped your chin up to make you look at him. His heart melted at your glossy eyes. So vulnerable and sensitive. Maybe it was what drew him to you. Your ability to be so sweet and wear your heart on your sleeve. Something he never could do. “What is it?” He asked lowly caressing your cheek. Not wanting to push you too much but he couldn’t really help himself when you looked so sad either.

“Do you think...” You whispered and licked your lips “We’ll be together forever. Like them.” You picked at the threads on his shirt too scared to look at him.

He smiled down at you. Getting up to sit straight and adjust you properly in his lap. “I know we will sweetheart.” He said confidently as if it was a fact.

You looked up at him still holding onto his shirt, as if he’d disappear if you let go for even a second “And do you think you’ll always love me?” You wanted to know.

“Yes, I’m sure of it. Where is this even coming from?” He frowned “I know... I don’t always do a good job of showing you I love you. This is new to me. I’ve never had a girlfriend.” And like the dork that he was he couldn’t help the goofy grin he made every time he referred to you as his girl “But I’ll do better,” He promised and pressed a long lingering kiss on your forehead to seal it. He cleared his throat to ask “What do you think I should do better?”

“No. You’re amazing, Steve, you don’t need to change.” You said giving his plump pink lips a quick peck “It’s just scary. How much I love you and how it can all go away if I’m not careful. People break up everyday and over the stupidest of things or over nothing. I don’t want that to be us.” You sighed unloading all your anxieties.

He nodded taking your words in “I understand. I’m scared of losing you too. More than you’ll ever know.” He paused looking for the best words “What we can do is maybe talk about such things?” He slowly suggested rocking you back and forth in his arms.

You happily tucked your head in the crook of his neck, hugging him close to you. Falling for his sweet words and him. Convinced that nothing would come between you both.

***

He got down on one knee not long after to pop the big question with an even bigger diamond to really show you how committed he was.

You were on cloud nine. You felt nothing could ever bring you down that you only had happier times to look forward to.

Until one fateful day, you didn’t realise it then but it was probably when everything started going to hell, Sharon Carter got back from her year long mission in Europe.

You were only an accountant working for the Avengers. Being so close to Steve did give you some influence, which you were ashamed of liking a bit too much, but no one was ever really scared of you. You heard chatter about her and your Steve. And how now he would surely ditch his ‘normal and plain fiancé'. They never tried that hard to hide it from you. They probably thought you weren’t here for the long haul.

“Hey Angie” You nervously called for your desk mate. “Why is everyone so obsessed with Steve and Agent Carter?”

“Oh you mean Staron?” She grinned before frowning, “Oh I’m sorry! That’s just what people call them. Not me though! You know how hard I ship you two.” She squeezed your shoulder in order to console you.

“Yeah but why? I mean did they use to date or something...” You trailed off knowing that it was something you should be asking your fiancé not your co-worker.

You had tried a couple of times but you were too afraid to come off as jealous or controlling. That was the last thing you wanted to be. You expected him to give you enough space to be your own person, so it’d only be fair for you to do the same.

“I don’t really know.” She stroked her chin as if in thought “You’ll just have to ask Captain Rogers. Nothing was ever confirmed they were just rumors. Even I’ll admit they would make gorgeous blonde babies. But girl! You don’t have anything to worry about! You’re the one who has the ring.” She tried her best to assure you but the seeds of doubt and fear had taken roots in your mind.

Steve assured you that there was never anything between them. They flirted with the idea of dating for a while before she went away, he doubted there’d ever be anything between them. He couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. Not when he’s so madly in love with you.

He was so convincing and charming.

The things that set him apart from everyone else, which you loved about him, were his honesty and loyalty. He blamed his Ma and 1920s raising but you didn’t care. He was perfect in your eyes. He didn’t need to fit in. Those things made him Steve Rogers. Your Steve.

***

You had never been more ashamed than when you went through Steve’s things to get some sort of clue. You went through his sketches to find if he was secretly harboring any kind of feelings about her. You only found sketches mostly consisting of you and the Avengers, some of Bucky and his mom.

You sighed in relief, but then, at the bottom of his drawer you found a sketch of Sharon drawn with charcoal pencil. You couldn’t help but cry tears of frustration and pain, tearing the sketch up and flushing it so he wouldn’t find out. You knew you made a grave mistake, even as you started snooping you knew nothing good would come out of it, yet you couldn’t help yourself. In the end you only upset yourself.

Steve got back from work shortly after with your favorite take out, he kissed you hello. He knew something was up but you simply lied and chalked it up to pms or something.

He was ever so understanding. Giving you a nice massage and drawing you a bath. You decided then, that you wouldn’t look for anything anymore. If Steve was being unfaithful you didn’t want to know. You’d rather live in this beautiful peaceful bubble of ignorance.

***

The next few months were tough. All your wedding planning had taken a backseat as Steve had started to look for his friend Bucky, who also happened to be the winter soldier, with Sam and Sharon.

You didn’t really have an answer when your mother pestered you about going wedding shopping. You didn’t know how to tell her that you doubted if there would be a wedding at all. It would break her heart. Especially after she had come to love Steve as much as you did.

You never complained. How could you? The whole world needed him much more than you ever could. And he didn’t seem to need you anymore.

He never had to have time for you anymore. Late nights at the offices, long missions with Sharon.

One rare night he was home for dinner, you were too busy sulking in your self pity to actually enjoy his company after he’d deprived you of it for so long.

You chose to give him the silent treatment, not speaking more than two words to him. He noticed. Of course he did, Captain America, always so perceptive and smart.

He tried to pry answers out of you for a while before his phone started ringing and he excused himself to go pick it up.

“Why do you always go into the other room to take your calls?” You asked when he got back placing his phone down on the table. Playing with your food not having the strength to look him in the eye and confront him.

He visibly stiffened at the underlying accusation in your question. He had grown annoyed of having the same discussion with you again and again. But he decided to bite his tongue. It was his job to make you feel secure in your relationship.

“It’s confidential information, doll. You know that.” He sighed.

You hummed “But you can tell me who you were speaking to right?” You finally looked up and you wished you hadn’t. He clearly wasn’t happy, his eyebrows furrowed in a frown and his jaw clenched, how you hated confrontation. Not that you ever thought you’d be confronting your Steve.

“It was Sharon.” He spit.

“Of course.” You scoffed going back to staring at your food as he rolled his eyes.

“What do you want me to say? I know you aren’t exactly fond of her but I’m not going to lie just to make you happy. Because that’s not who I am! I don’t lie.” He ranted holding up his phone “Why don’t you go through it? Maybe that will make you happy.”

You shook your head rejecting his offer. Even though you were tempted to, you knew Steve was smart. He was Captain America for gods sake. He’d know how to cover his tracks. If he didn’t want you to find something, you probably wouldn’t.

So you finished your dinner, angrily stuffing the food in your mouth while sneering at him and then left him to do the dishes.

You put yours and Steve's laundry in the washer. Even though you were salty with him you still did your half of the chores. Checking his pockets for any receipts or bills. But then you saw what looked like a shinning golden thread. You pulled at it to find that it was a long blonde hair. Which was clearly not yours.

You thought of going to Steve with it. But if you had to hear another one of his lame excuses you’d probably drown yourself.

So, for the first time, you simply went to bed angry with him. When he tried to talk to you, you retorted with a snarky or hurtful comment or didn’t speak at all. You knew just how crazy that would drive him.

***

You groaned for the fifteenth time in the past hour, your leg impatiently shaking under the table. He was an hour late. He was someone who took pride in always being punctual and sharp, clearly you weren’t important enough for him to consider your feelings. You decided to pick up your phone and call him.

“Where are you?!” You hissed as soon as he picked up. Too angry to even bother to say hello.

“I’m at work. I’m so sorry, doll, I won’t be able to make it. Something important came up.” He apologized. His voice laced with guilt. Which would’ve been enough to convince you maybe a month or so ago, but at this point he had missed far too many dinners and dates.

“Right. Of course. More important than me obviously.” You rolled your eyes.

“You know that’s not true – "

“You didn’t even bother calling me” You screamed into your phone.

“I did call.” He sighed “You didn’t pick up and I’m kinda busy right now.”

“Yeah I didn’t pick up! I was cooking a meal for our anniversary! You know what? I don’t care because you clearly don’t either.” You said hanging up without giving him a chance to speak.

You had packed some of the leftovers up for Steve but you decided to dump them all in the bin. He didn’t deserve your cooking.

You haphazardly threw the tupperware in the sink. Torn between punching a wall and hugging a pillow to cry out all your frustrations. You chose to rigorously scrub and wash the dishes.

Having spent some of your excess energy you sat in front of your dresser, putting some petroleum jelly on your palms to sooth the burn.

You sighed at the sight of your sparkly diamond. You couldn’t bear to look at it anymore. It reminded you of a happier and simpler time. The last thing you wanted was a complicated or dramatic relationship.

As you slid the ring off your finger placing it in your jewellery box, you couldn’t help but ponder on whether it was just as much of your fault as well.

You started packing your clothes into a small bag. Maybe you could spend a few nights at your mothers house until you can clear your head.

***

Steve hastily opened your apartment door with his keys. “Honey, I’m home.” He called out for you.

He rubbed his face, a nervous pit forming in his stomach. He knew he had been prioritising his work over you for weeks now, he didn’t know the extent of it until you told him off on the phone and then didn’t pick up any of his calls. He asked Sam to cover for him for the night as he made his way back home.

His enhanced hearing picked up on movements in the bedroom, he followed the sounds of your rustling, tossing his jacket on the couch.

His worst fears came true as he looked at you carelessly stuffing your clothes in a cabin bag. You spared him a glance before zipping the bag up.

He took a deep breath, he had to say the right words before he fucks up the situation more than he already has. “Sweetheart –“

“Steve, I’m leaving. I think we should take a break,” Your voice cracking a bit but you tried to be resilient and strong, you sighed as you saw the heartbroken look on his face as his jaw dropped “it’s hard for me too but it’s just not working anymore.”

“Is it hard for you?” He spit. “Everyone has problems, I just need one more chance.”

“I won’t let you break my heart again.” You swallowed as you felt tears stream down your cheeks, you wiped them with the back of your hand. “I’ll always love you but I’m tired of being disappointed and suspicious and jealous. It’s not who I am, it’s not who I want to be.”

“Wh – what do you mean suspicious?” He asked as his brows furrowed.

“I think you know what I mean. I know I’m not like a model or a kickass spy or unique. But I still want to be special to someone. I’m so...simple. I thought that was enough for you and us.”

“What are you even talking about?” He lost his composure and calm as his eyes watered, blurring his vision, he held onto your forearms, needing your touch the most right now, as if you won't leave if he held on tight enough. “I’m not special either.”

To which you scoffed. “That’s debatable.”

“It’s true. Captain America is special. He’s the superhero. I’m just Steve.”

“I know that’s what you think,” You said shaking his hands off of you and staring at the floor, not bearing to look at him “But it’s not the reality. Captain America is a part of you. And I think... maybe Captain America deserves someone extraordinary like Agent 13.” You let out a humorless chuckle.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He asked in his stern Captain voice, clenching his fists having had about enough of this.

You stiffened as a shiver ran down your spine at his tone. He had never spoken to you like that. He reserved that tone for his teammates and subordinates, and more often than not Tony. But not you. You were his precious baby.

You felt as if you were compelled to look up at him, he wasn’t crying anymore but his jaw had hardened, his face and neck flushed red. “Sharon. I mean,” You took a deep breath “I know there’s nothing between you two... probably.” you whispered as he raised a brow at you.

“But your work and duty will always come first and I know it is a good thing. But it’s not what I want. I thought I could handle it, the whole world needing you more than me and coming before me,” You spoke so lowly but you knew he could hear you, “but I can’t. I don’t think I ever will. A break will put things into perspective for both of us.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” He growled as you rolled your eyes. “How could you think those things? I need you more than anything else.” His anger was fuelled as you scoffed again, as if he was lying. “Don’t you dare hink that there’s anything past or present that I’d put before you. You’re the only thing that matters. I promise.”

“You may believe that, but your words only carry so much weight when they’re not followed up by actions. I know you’re not the cheating type,” You rambled pulling on your hair and sighing, it was all so overwhelming “I don’t know what to believe. When I go days without speaking to you – what else am I supposed to believe?”

He hesitantly snaked an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him, relieved that you didn’t stop him or push him away again, “Just give me one chance to prove myself. I know I’ll never be worthy of you but I don’t want us to give up so easily. Not without putting up a fight.” He gritted pulling your chin up as your hands played with the buttons on his shirt. “And you know how good I am at putting up a fight. I’ll always fight for you,” He smiled pulling your chin up to look at your pretty face.

“Okay,” You sniffled. “You’re always so good with words.” You smiled shaking your head.

He hummed at that. “I got you to go out with me, didn’t I?”

“What are you doing here anyway? Didn’t you have work?” you wanted to know.

He shushed you, pulling you into his chest and pressing his face in the crook of your neck. He craved your warmth and comfort especially after almost losing you. “I’ll never take you for granted again.” He nuzzled your neck before kissing it. “We can go venue hunting tomorrow. For the wedding.”

You smiled in his hold “Well I don’t know about that. Maybe the wedding planning can wait for a while.”

He hummed as he rested his chin on top of your head. He had his work cut out for him if he intended to keep you. He made a mental note of calling Tony first thing in the morning. “I hate it when we fight.” He said rocking you in his arms “But I like the making up part.”

You playfully smacked his chest. You just knew he was cheekily grinning. “I agree.” You giggled.

You hadn’t fought a whole lot throughout your relationship, but the make up sex was always amazing.

You gulped nervously as he captured your lips in a bruising and breath taking kiss. Letting you know just how much he loved you. You hummed as his hands caressed the soft skin of your ass, squeezing it lightly before he pulled you up.

You yelped as you wrapped your legs around his narrow waist. You trailed kisses down his jaw as he carried you to your bed. Giving him a nip or two here and there, smiling against his throat as you felt the vibrations of his moans.

He gently dropped you on your comfortable mattress, you giggled as you bounced.

Steve hovered above you, he was so large, he was the only thing you could look at. Your shaky hands worked on unbuttoning his shirt as he pulled your night shirt up, groaning at the sight of your soft nipples, hardening so easily at his touch. He pulled one in his mouth as he thoroughly sucked on it.

“Oh, Steve.” You moaned as his hand came up to pay some attention to your other breast, fondling it in his hand before tugging your stiff peak with his fingers. You gasped as he bit you. “Oh I’ll definitely feel that tomorrow,” You sighed pulling your shirt over your head as he made his way down your body, settling between your legs.

He looked at you as you bit your lip, your breasts laid flat as you chest heaved with anticipation. He let out a guttural sound as he saw and smelled just how aroused and wet you were for him. He licked a firm stripe up your warm folds before capturing your bundle of nerves in his mouth, harshly sucking on it as he worked you up with his fingers to get you ready for him.

The moans and mewls from your mouth and the squelching of his fingers were something akin to a symphony to his ears. He cooed as you thrashed wildly when he pulled away. “Steve!” You whined.

“Just a minute baby. You remember what we talked about? Patience.” He said as he quickly got rid of his clothes. His throbbing erection ached to be inside you. But he couldn’t help but tease his sweet girl a bit as he stroked himself above you, much to your displeasure.

He chuckled as you kicked your legs. “Patience,” He reminded you again as he bent to suck a bruise on your breast. He pulled away with a pop, pleased with the way your skin bruised under his assault, “So you’ll always remember how much I love you.” He murmured in your neck as he slowly entered your channel.

He stayed inside you just like that for a few minutes, it was comfortable like a warm hug, it felt like home because you were his home. No matter how many times he made love to you, he could never get used to how wet and tight you felt.

He sucked a few more love bites on your neck he knew you’d give him hell for later but in the moment he couldn’t bring himself to care.

He rocked his hips, slowly and tortuously pulling out of you before pushing back in till he bottomed out, searching for your special spot, he knew he found it when you threw your head back and started blabbering nonsense.

Your hips matched his pace, trying their best to keep up with his super strength and agility. He propped himself up on his elbows, he needed to see you, see your face twist in pleasure as he did such sinful things to you. Except they rarely ever felt sinful to him. It felt as if he was expressing his love for you by pleasing you and worshipping you.

“How could you ever think I don’t care about you?” He asked not really expecting an answer, what with you being so preoccupied and your mind too far gone to listen to him, as he drove his hips up harshly.

You shook your head muttering apologises and chanting his name as he felt you clench around him. Your nails dug into his shoulders, holding onto him as your orgasm hit you in waves of pleasure.

“I need you to say it.” He demanded. His thrusts lost any sense of rhythm simply pounding into you with abandon as he chased his release. “Say that you know that I love you.” He rasped as his hips stuttered. “Say. It.” He punctuated with a few more thrusts before he emptied inside you, panting into the crook of your neck.

“I know you love me Steve.” You mumbled as you ran your fingers through his hair. “I love you more.”

You felt him shake his head as he pecked your lips. “That’s not possible.”

“Yes it is!” You huffed incredulously.

“Agree to disagree.” He stated not really in the mood to fight with you anymore as you smacked his bicep, scoffing at him before muttering a ‘whatever’ under your breath. He pulled you on top of him still connected to your heat as he felt his spend spill out of you. “Can we stay like this for a bit?” He asked somewhat shyly.

You hummed, “Yes of course.” You sleepily mumbled against his soft and warm chest.

He listened to your breathing and steady heartbeat as you slipped into a dreamless slumber.

He couldn’t sleep. He only ever slept a couple of hours every night and now after everything that perspired, he was scared he’d fall asleep and you’d be gone when he wakes up.

There was no way in hell he’d ever let you. He’d give up the shield if he had to. He was as stupidly stubborn as you if not more. He was sure he’d fix everything as he kissed the top of your head and covered the pair of you with the comforter. So you’d feel as warm and comfortable as him.

Tags will be in the reblog! Click the link in the bio to be join the taglist or shoot me an ask/dm.

Comments and feedback are appreciated! ❤❤

Idk how Sharon comes off in this but no Sharon hate please! I don't have an opinion on her but I believe in girls supporting girls. Thank you😘😘

#reader x steve rogers #steve rogers x oc #steve rogers x reader #chris evans x reader #steve x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers x you #marvel x reader #avengers x reader

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danwhobrowses · 3 years ago

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Dr Strange: Multiverse of Madness - Quick Review

So I'm out of the Cinema, the credits have rolled and Dr. Strange: Multiverse of Madness is in the books. Reviews so far have been on both sides of the spectrum, but what did I think of Sam Raimi's return to Marvel?

Spoilers for the Movie, you have been warned

So I liked it, I can understand why some people don't think it's great, Raimi's direction was a bit odd at times too.

There is a lot of stuff which doesn't quite match up, the title seems a bit of a false promise because we only visit like 3 or 4 universes long enough to see a variant, Loki showed more variants. I also feel like the plot went the 'difficult route' with Wanda deciding to not pursue this magic book that gives you 'exactly what you want' and instead tries to steal her variant's children, I mean I get that the Darkhold is corruptive - I watched Agents of SHIELD so Stephen coming out with a third eye relieved me because for a moment I feared Stephen would have zero consequences from using it...until it was treated as no big deal in the mid-credits scene, the electric guitar riff was distracting too - and it was supposed to show Wanda's descent but surely she would also want that power? These magical books are also very fragile. I also don't see how all these universes have Wanda's kids but no Vision, he could've played a key part in establishing conflict with Wanda.

I admittedly take issue with how they did the Illuminati, Marvel had to do the typical MCU thing of making anticipated and things comic fans were looking forward to look like clowns. I don't really get their logic either, like Strange is trying to get out of their universe and they're stopping him and America, also this 'Dr. Strange is the bigger threat to the Multiverse' seems like a dumbass conclusion from them; their Strange was corrupted by the Darkhold, Wanda is coming for them having been corrupted by the Darkhold, and their conclusion is Strange is the problem? Not the evil magic book that corrupts whoever reads it? Also pretty fresh coming from Reed 'Council of Reeds/The Beyonder/Intentionally Gave the Four the Zombie Virus' Richards... Also they got clowned in the fight, I mean I get we were selling just how powerful Wanda was but I laughed in disbelief that the MCU had a chance to fix the atrocious Inhumans series and instead decided to bitch out poor Anson Mount's Black Bolt again by killing him like that. It should've more ripped a hole where his mouth should be than popped his brain but it was a truly idiot move from Reed 'Smartest Man in the World' Richards to tell Wanda his powers - we could've just had Wanda seal the mouth and have Wanda kill him another way. Maria's Captain Marvel didn't do it for me, she was at least a match for Wanda but she seemed to have adopted Carol's bitchiness towards Strange. It was nice to see Captain Carter but she shouldn't have lasted as long as she did against Wanda if Reed was ripped up like a cheesestring in seconds, and it did hurt that Marvel brought back Patrick Stewart's Professor X just to kill him a THIRD TIME...Maybe I mean Xavier does have ways of coming back, Mordo felt quite underused too.

On the plus side though this is perhaps the best exploration we've had with Stephen in terms of his personal happiness, and his tragic connection with Christine. Tragic is definitely the optimal word we use for Wanda as well, while her method was a bit long-winded her motivation was clear and believable - helped greatly by Olsen's great acting and time on Wandavision.

America Chavez's character and growth was really nice, she interacted well in the movie and at a good time so we could explore the multiverse at a greater scale, Phase 4 has done really well so far in establishing a Young Avengers group. And thankfully Wong didn't die, I was worried they'd have Wanda off him so Strange would be Sorcerer Supreme again but he lives to kick Abomination ass and Karaoke with Shang Chi and Katy (who I did wonder whether they'd show here or in a post-credit scene) another day.

Aside from that electric guitar, the music was great, especially the old X-Men theme riff with Xavier's appearance. And there were a lot of great visuals from the film and the multiverses we did visit, zombified Strange - while as Wanda pointed out super hypocritical - did make for an interesting magic battle at the conclusion, as did Wanda seeing how much of a monster she had become. While I didn't like the mid-credits scene I did get a kick out of the post-credits one, Sam and Bruce at it again, Sam did get some jumpscares out of me too.

As for implications, as well as seeing the likes of Xavier and Reed we look to be setting up the Incursion, which is smart of Marvel as well. For those unaware the Incursion was an event in comics which had two universes about to collide, the Illuminati were used to try and find a preventative measure for this too. Usually Incursions would involve Molecule Man, but since he doesn't exist in the MCU yet the use of the Incursion would play as a Phase-level threat for the MCU, and could be the opening to blend heroes from another universe together via Battleworld, most importantly the Four, Mutants and Doctor Doom (regular or a more exciting prospect, God Emperor Doom). Battleworld as a concept also makes sense given how Kang the Conqueror is related to Reed, so even if they didn't want to bring in the Beyonder just yet they could use Kang in his place.

So overall, it was worth the ticket, but I wasn't too blown away with the story, not the worst MCU film I've seen though I guess it just didn't quite exceed expectations like No Way Home did when they used the Multiverse.

#dr strange #dr strange multiverse of madness #multiverse of madness #dr stephen strange #stephen strange #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch #wong mcu #mcu #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #america chavez #illuminati marvel #mcu multiverse

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9worldstales · 3 years ago

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MCU What if Ep 1-2-3: My two cents

So, I’ve been watching the “What if” series. I won’t beat it around the bush, I’m enjoying it but at the same time I get the feeling this series is aimed at younger audience, younger audience which isn’t deeply familiar with the movies and needs to be feed a simpler storyline.

In fact from the way they present it in each episode 1 single change should be the one which gives life to a parallel universe in a sort of domino effect… only, from what I could see in those 3 episodes, there are actually multiple unconnected changes, 1 presented more markedly as if it were the one starting everything and the others… just there for unknown reasons but they aren’t remarked and might easily be missed by who doesn’t remember well the movies.

Characterizations are also simplified, with heroes more black and white than grey, and a general toning down of the drama. This isn’t necessarily tied to the short time, 30 minutes in the hand of a good storyteller are plenty of time to construct a complicate, adult, emotionally engaging story… but a complicate story requires an audience willing to put its mind to understand it, or capable to handle a more morally nuanced plot or that wouldn’t be too distressed by a more emotionally engaging one.

This kind of audience is clearly not what those stories are aiming at.

This isn’t meant to say they’re bad, they’re perfect for young audience, passing on a good message, being overall funny and giving them the chance to enjoy the heroes they love in a different setting.

Dialogues are nice, their voice actors so far delivered good performance, the art isn’t bad and the stories can feel still intriguing enough.

However, if you think too hard at them, especially in comparison to the original movie, the story tends to crumble or feel morally poor or mess up the characterization or some other thing.

Overall I think the “What if” so far are more enjoyable if you don’t really remember well the movies and, anyway, judge them as stand-alone more than “What if” based on how a single divergence from the plot could create a new timeline.

Some examples?

Pick “What If... Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?”

The divergence supposedly happens when Peggy decides to stay in the room.

Erskine: Agent Carter, wouldn't you be more comfortable in the booth? Peggy: No, I'd prefer to stay. Watcher: There. That's the moment that created a new universe. When asked to leave the room, Margaret "Peggy" Carter chose to stay. But soon it would be her venturing into the unknown and creating a new world.

Only, in truth, it’s not just Peggy who was meant to go to the booth and didn’t.

EVERYONE was meant to go to the booth… only they all stay and Kruger, the spy from Hydra, who was seated in the booth BEHIND Peggy in “Captain America”, in the “What if” episode attacks the lab during Erskine’s explanation and not, as he did in “Captain America”, after the experiment took place, using as a distraction a bomb he left in the booth, and not on the floor of near to where the experiment was taking place so that it can kill Erskine.

And, to be really accurate, Erskine, in “Captain America”, asked Peggy to move to the booth when Steve was already lying down for the experiment, while here we see him asking her so while the two are standing next to each other and he hadn’t started undressing yet.

And there’s a reason why in the movie things were done like that.

Of course in the movie everyone was in the booth, it was safer should something go wrong with the experiment.

Of course Kruger waited for the experiment to be carried on, if it didn’t work there was no point in stealing a vial of a serum that didn’t work.

Of course Kruger left the bomb in the booth and made it explode when he was outside of it, so that he was sure it would create distraction but not harm him.

Overall, it’s not just Peggy that acts differently, it’s Erskine, who asked her to move in advance, it’s all the people there, who didn’t move to the booth, it’s ESPECIALLY, Kruger, who originally aimed to see if the serum worked and, in this case, steal it and kill Erskine so he couldn’t produce more and instead he now doesn’t check if the serum works and kills, for unknown reasons Chester Phillips, who didn’t even have a weapon in his hand and so didn’t pose a threat.

Even the placing of the bomb is poor because, since there was plenty of mechanisms in the lab, it could have triggered a series of explosions that were to destroy the whole place, himself and all the serum included.

But how many young viewers noticed all this or worry for the risk of everything exploding or realize that causing an explosion outside of the room in which the serum was worked as a diversion so as to take people away from that place, while if the bomb were to explode there, everyone would converge in that place, with hydrants possibly as no one worries about fire spreading but they should… even if there’s magically not as much as there should be.

And tragic scenes get tamed down, we don’t see Erskine die, we might not even realize he died in the explosion, young viewers might not remember or not like Chester Phillips so when he’s shoot he doesn’t leave an impression and Kruger’s shape gets shoot down by Peggy so we don’t have him committing suicide.

It’s not a complain, it’s a logic choice to make the series more palatable to a younger target by toning down the violence and the drama in it.

And so we reach the big event of the episode.

John Flynn would want Stark to get the serum injected in himself (forgetting there were men of the MP around him who shouldn’t be all dead) but starts to complain when Peggy volunteers to take the serum herself. Peggy does anyway and again things are tamed down, as Steve ended up screaming so loud in “Captain America” Peggy feared they were killing him and they considered stopping the experiment but Peggy doesn’t scream at all.

Sure, in had been scientifically proved women are built to handle pain better, but very likely Peggy’s lack of scream isn’t because she’s tougher, it’s again to not upset young audience.

So, while Steve lies on the ground and no one comes to help him, Peggy comes out of the experiment enhanced. But here we’ve the real core of the episode, John Flynn decides the experiment is an absolute failure. Why?

Flynn: Sixty million dollars and all the hope in the world down the drain. I was promised an army. I was promised peace and salvation. Instead, I get a girl.

Basically the real core of the episode, the real theme is that Captain Carter will have to fight discrimination based on sexism.

Peggy: You have a Super Soldier. Flynn: Women aren't soldiers, and they sure as hell don't fight on the front lines. They might break a nail.

Undoubtedly this is an important matter, it’s a good topic to make an episode about, to give young girls an heroine, to show to them and to the boys what an absolute moron Flynn was in discriminating Peggy, also presenting boys being supportive of Peggy and trusting her. Howard Stark, Steve Rogers, and then Bucky and everyone else, all the men who see Peggy fighting are ultimately supportive and admiring of her. This is important. But Flynn’s sexism is better remarked if we don’t remember what happened in “Captain America”.

Steve Rogers: Sir, if you’re going after Schmidt, I want in. Col. Chester Phillips: You’re an experiment. You’re going to Alamogordo. Steve Rogers: The serum worked. Col. Chester Phillips: I asked for an army and all I got was you. You are not enough. Senator Brandt: [to Steve] With all due respect to the Colonel, I think we may be missing the point. I’ve seen you in action, Steve. More importantly, the country’s seen it. [to his aide] Paper.[the aide shows them the news paper (‘The New York Examiner’ Vol. XCVII No. 33.634, Wednesday, June 23, 1943), headlines: "Nazis in New York - mystery man saves child"] The enlistment lines have been around the block since your picture hit the newsstands. You don’t take a soldier, a symbol like that, and hide him in a lab. Son, do you want to serve your country on the most important battlefield of the war? Steve Rogers: Sir, that’s all I want. Senator Brandt: Then, congratulations. You just got promoted.

I mean, Rogers was a male and he too was judged ‘not enough’. Brandt has him tour the nation in a colorful costume as “Captain America” to promote war bonds, while scientists study him and attempt to reverse-engineer the formula.

Chester Phillips was likely killed because otherwise they would have no reason to deal with Peggy the same way he dealt with Steve ‘one is not enough’, only it wouldn’t have been a sexist problem, just math (though it could be argued Phillips never trusted Steve to begin with). This causes the message ‘sexism is dumb’ ends up feeling forced because it’s basically pasted over a previous narrative of ‘not being enough’. If you want, you can read it as always discrimination and discrimination it’s always bad, but it still cheapens the message.

All this not to say that the episode isn’t awesome if seen as a stand-alone… it’s just that when you compare it with “Captain America” it feels weaker.

And then there are the other discrepancies, like the Hydra bringing the Tesseract to Berlin and not to Azzano (a sign somehow Schmidt and Hitler didn’t have a fall out) with Stark using it to power up an “Hydra Stomper” suit that proves if he had had the right power sources and technologies he could have built “Iron Man” too.

They’re not bad points (actually I loved the “Hydra Stomper” suit and how Peggy rode it the way Tekkaman from “Uchu no Kishi Tekkaman” used to ride Pegas in my childhood memories) but again they’re divergences without a clear reason. Schmidt and Hitler shouldn’t get along better solely because Peggy got the serum.

And that’s the first episode.

“What If... T'Challa Became a Star-Lord?” is also clearly aimed to a younger audience but with a goal different from “What If... Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?”

Watcher: What you call destiny is just an equation, a product of variables. Right place, right time, or in some instances, the wrong place at the wrong time. As fate would have it, at that very moment, a Ravager spacecraft was arriving on Earth to abduct the spawn of the Celestial, Ego. But in this universe, Yondu outsourced the assignment to his subordinates. Yondu: You morons grabbed the wrong kid!

For start this episode doesn’t try to rewrite a single movie, but by taking pieces of assorted movies “Thor: The Dark World” (for Tivan) “Guardians of the Galaxy” (for the idea of the setting), “Black Panther” (for T’Challa), “Avengers: Infinity War” (for the Black Order), “Captain America” (Tivan has his shielf), “Thor: Ragnarok” (TIvan has and uses Hela’s headpiece, talking of her as if he knew her and we can see he also has Thor’s hammer), “Thor: The Dark World” (Tivan has Malekith’s dagger) creates a completely different timeline by changing something that happened in 1988 and then jumping straight in… 2014, I presume, where a lot is different but we aren’t meant to see the process due to which things were changed, just to accept how T’Challa, kidnapped as a kid by the Ravagers, managed to make the difference.

In fact the whole theme of this episode is that T’Challa is a hero and a role model that gets success and admiration by TALKING TO PEOPLE AND PERSUADING THEM TO DO THE RIGHT THING. He’s meant not to have a character arc but to create a world that’s the best possible for people.

In fact we’re told just by talking with Thanos he persuaded him to stop his whole plan without using violence.

Korath: How exactly did you stop Thanos, the Mad Titan, from decimating half of the universe? Oh, no. Thanos: I'm a big enough man to admit when I'm wrong. T'Challa here showed me there was more than one way to reallocate the universe's resources. T’Challa: Sometimes the best weapon in your arsenal is just a good argument.

I mean, he doesn’t just turn the Ravagers into Robin Hood’s “merry men”, he talks with Thanos and Thanos decides to change his ways.

This is great, a wonderful message, a message against violence, a message about the power of the words and it makes T’Challa a real hero who, just by talking, saves the universe from Thanos but… but T’Challa from the movies was maybe not so good at persuading people from not doing wrong but he still had something amazing that made him very human and, at the same time a role model.

T’Challa wasn’t perfect, he made mistakes… but then he would admit them and correct them.

In “Captain America: Civil War” he wants to kill Bucky in retaliation for what happened to his father…

Natasha Romanoff: T'Challa. Task force will decide who brings in Barnes. T'Challa: [He clenches his fist.] Don't bother, Miss Romanoff. I'll kill him myself.

…but then he understands killing his father’s murder would be wrong and even stops Zemo from committing suicide.

T'Challa: Vengeance has consumed you. It's consuming them. [He blinks ruefully and retracts the claws in his gloves.] I am done letting it consume me. Justice will come soon enough. Helmut Zemo: [Holding a gun Zemo smiles thinly.] Tell that to the dead. [He tries to shoot himself but T'Challa grabs him just as he fires.] T'Challa: The living are not done with you yet.

And the same goes in “Black Panther”. At first he doesn’t want to ask Killmonger his name because he knows he is his uncle’s son and this would give him the right to compete for the throne as well as expose what his father did…

Killmonger: Oh, I ain't requesting nothing! Ask who I am? Shuri: You are Eric Steves. An American black operative. A mercenary nicknamed Killmonger. That's who you are. Killmonger: (LAUGHING) That's not my name, Princess. Ask me, King? T'Challa: No. Killmonger: Ask me. T'Challa: Take him away.

…but then he’ll acknowledges they had wronged him, will show him Wakanda’s beauty and will change things in Wakanda. T’Challa in the movies isn’t as perfect as T’Challa in the “What if” episode. He can’t solve everything and make the world perfect. He isn’t always right. He gets angry, vengeful, afraid of the truth. But then he rises above this and does the right thing.

“What if” T’Challa is a model of perfection that’s admirable… but that sits simply too high above the original T’Challa who also had to deal with Thanos but didn’t even think he could change his mind just by giving him a talk… and with good reason.

Younger kids might not realize because they might have not fully grasped how Thanos was a genocidal maniac, who massacred millions even prior to the snap, tortured his daughters and even removed body parts from Nebula. They might swallow it was just that easy to talk him into not doing the snap, and Thanos only needed someone to tell him it was wrong… and that in truth he loved Nebula… but for older viewers while beautiful, this is simply unbelievable.

And what about Yondu and the Ravagers? Just because they had T’Challa they became good and righteous. This is how Peter Quill described Yondu in “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” which still gives a sympathetic portrayal of Yondu:

Quill: He wasn't my father. Yondu was the guy who abducted me. He'd beat the crap out of me so I'd learn how to fight and he kept me in terror threatening to eat me.

But T’Challa doesn’t seem to have such complains against Yondu.

Now… In Quill’s case Yondu kept Quill so as to protect him from Ego…

Yondu: Once I figured out what happened to the other kids, I wasn't gonna just hand you over.

…yet he kidnap him and tells him his home was destroyed so as to manipulate him into staying… but this is so easily forgotten by T’Challa to the point children might not even realize it was there. Yondu was a good dad for him, he kidnapped him because T’Challa was basically wasted at home.

Yondu: Sometimes you need to hear a lie to see the truth. You're just like me, T'Challa. T’Challa: I am nothing like you. Yondu: You're an explorer, Star-Lord. And for people like you, like us, the past ain't nothing but a prison. You don't belong down there with them. You belong up here with us, with your family.

Although T’Challa doesn’t seem to agree at first… in the end all is forgotten.

Yondu: Look, T'Challa, I just wanted to say... T’Challa: There's no need. I was the one who told you I wanted to see the world. All you did was show me the universe.

and

T’Chaka: (Voice shaking) My son, my son. I knew you would find your way home to us. T’Challa: I'm sorry it took me so long. Let me introduce you to the family I made along the way.

All this is to basically excuse the premise, something horrible like kidnapping a child is passed as not really something terrible so that kids wouldn’t deal with its emotional implications and can even think that it was a pity that, in the normal universe, it was Peter Quill that was kidnapped… without realizing that kidnapping is bad and that in T’Challa’s case Yondu wasn’t even doing it because he wanted to protect him. Actually it’s unexplained why, all of sudden, Yondu felt the need to keep T’Challa and completely forgot about Quill, didn’t even care about making sure Ego wouldn’t find Quill despite, thanks to T’Challa, becoming a better person. It’s another change, one that people knowing the movies is bound to notice but not kids.

So again, for who knows the movie well, the story ends up being weak and this is also because, while T’Challa could persuade Thanos off screen not to commit genocide… all of sudden his persuasive power isn’t even really tested out with Tivan. Tivan is the big evil… yet he’s somehow less fearsome than Thanos because we clearly don’t want to scare the kids.

So again, wonderful for young audience who doesn’t remember well the movies… not so solid for who’s older.

And so we move to “What If... the World Lost Its Mightiest Heroes?” which is absolutely my favourite so far. This one at a first glance seems to be a “What if” of a comic named “The Avengers Prelude: Fury's Big Week”.

The awesome thing of this story is we don’t know what changed the universe, we only discover that someone is killing off the Avengers before they could become the Avengers, starting with Tony Stark.

The mystery is, at a first glance, cool, the idea original, Natasha gets a big role as she investigates and even fights things along with Fury and, again, children will likely not really realize how the “What if” is actually changing the settings even when they’re supposedly not related to the change that caused this parallel reality, the death of Hope van Dyne. I mean, we can start our list of changes with the random funny things that has no reason to happen because Hope’s death shouldn’t have made Coulson and Barton to be so appreciative of Thor’s hair, something they never bring up in the movie…

Coulson: Whoa. I got visual on the intruder. He's a Caucasian male, mid-twenties with... really great hair. Fury: Excuse me? Coulson: It's an accurate description. Sir, he's gorgeous. Fury: I need eyes in the sky. Barton. Barton: Already on it. He's making a move on the hammer. One shot, one kill, sir. Just say the word. Fury: Hold your fire. I wanna see this. Barton: Whoa. Coulson wasn't lying about the hair. That's nice.

…to continue with more plot related matters like how Betty should have known Banner had intruded in her lab dressed up as a delivery boy and was now hiding in a wardrobe… but if we want we can forgive them. Maybe Hope’s death really changed some things in weird ways we couldn’t predict… but the place with the biggest revolution seems to be Asgard… which actually shouldn’t have been affected by by Hope’s death AT ALL and instead the situation is completely different from how it were in “Thor” to the point I could write a 20 pages meta on the changes. But, if we assume this episode is aimed at children, it works because the “Thor” situation was complicate and here instead they show solely some random and confuse elements that children might have picked up from talks about the movies… but that weren’t like that in “Thor”.

And again we have messages that can be good for children, how a father will love his little girl, how Nick Fury will save the day even without the Avengers, how:

Fury: S.H.I.E.L.D. is people, people willing to give their lives for something greater than themselves to save the world from men like you.

…and how in the darkest time new heroes will always come to save Earth as when Loki take over because it seems there are no more Avengers, Fury can still count on Carol Danvers and Steve Rogers.

Coulson: The Avengers fell before they had a chance to rise. May they rest in peace. Fury: They can, but we won't. The Avengers were always meant to be more than a team. They were an idea, the affirmation of humanity's need to believe that in our darkest hour, we will find our heroes. Watcher: I believe that in this universe, as in every other, hope never dies. As long as someone keeps their good eye on the bigger picture.

It’s a good message about hope… but again, it’s something for children. We’re meant to believe Earth could be conquered in one day time without struggle whatsoever… and that only the heroes could save it. Children might not remember it but in “The Avengers” humans tried to nuke New York to stop Loki… the idea they would just sit and say ‘whatever’ to Loki’s domination makes it look as if they actually agree with him to an adult… but, of course, the battle of New York is something we might not want to show to a little child.

And now… something else that’s relevant.

I said the “What ifs” are good stories for children… but we’re talking of young children here because if the child is a little older they can end up passing a completely wrong message.

Remember "What If... Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?" and how it tackled sexism as an absurd behavior to keep? How Captain Carter overcomes it? By using her supersoldier powers to beat the Nazi. She shows as a supersoldier she works.

Does she turns over the concept that ‘Women aren't soldiers, and they sure as hell don't fight on the front lines. They might break a nail’?

At most she proves she can be a soldier. She doesn’t fight using the fact she’s a woman as her strongest point, she fights using her super strength as her strongest point… where Steve Roger’s strongest point wasn’t his enhanced strength but his moral values. Peggy proves as a super soldier she’s equal to Steve… but Steve as a super soldier proved he was better than Red Skull. Peggy’s actions in the story doesn’t cause people to revalue women in general, just her. People either aren’t sexist and accept her regardless of her genre (Howard, Steve) or they’re sexist but accept her because she is strong.

It’s meaningful that when she thinks Steve is dead Flynn goes back to his old mindset…

Flynn: She should never have been in the field in the first place.

… because the truth is he never changed it. Peggy had only yelled at them to stop calling Steve “Hydra Stomper” as his name was “Steve Roger” and Flynn decides she, not Steve who actually died, should have never been in the field.

They don’t show how Peggy got information from Zola, which seems to imply all she did to get them was to beat him up. Chester Phillips in “Captain America” manipulated him into talking with his intelligence only.

Do you know which were Peggy’s abilities in the universe in which she isn’t a super soldier? She’s a Master Martial Artist, an Expert Marksman, a Master Spy, an Expert Tactician, a Thief and can speak and read English, Russian and German fluently as well as use a convincing American accent.

This is hardly noticeable though in her own story.

Howard: Should we not have a plan? Peggy: Who needs a plan? I have a shield. Howard: A shield is not a plan. Oh, Carter...

She was a tactician!

Now… she has a shield. But whatever girl wants to be like her won’t have a shield, nor a super serum. To be a real role model for girls who aren’t anymore children Peggy needed to have qualities they too could have that would empower her. The only good moment is when she understands what Howard plans to do:

Howard: If I can get to the controls, I can transpose the ingress and do science stuff. Peggy: You mean transpose the polarity and reverse the suction? Howard: Being the genius is my thing.

But again, the irony here is that this is no genius plan, middle school students had probably seen him being done in movies and cartoons already. It might seem genius idea to kids, but when you’re older it hardly sounds like one… and when Howard complains all in the machine is written in German they don’t have Peggy show her knowledge of it, and translate the words as she fight, she just fight and he’s supposed to figure things out.

“Captain America” is a role model for what he has inside. I’m sure Peggy Carter has plenty of things inside her as well… but “What if” makes it more about the super strength she has gained.

Where Steve gains Phillips’ respect, Flynn’s respect is more a façade due to her successes thanks to her super strength, and that respect gets pulled back as soon as she gets upset by his behavior. Sure, Flynn is a worse person than Phillips in this black and white world but this too is part of the narrative. If Peggy can’t permanently win over sexism in one person, it’s not real victory at all. If what’s remarkable about her is how she fights (due to the serum) then who didn’t have it, will never have a hope. Peggy Carter was more of a female model when she wasn’t supersoldier, she felt more of a role model in “Captain America”, when she got to do this with her own strength:

Peggy Carter: Put your right foot forward. Gilmore Hodge: Mmm… We gonna wrassle? Cause I got a few moves I know you’ll like. [suddenly Peggy punches him hard in the face. Col.Phillips drives up] Col. Chester Phillips: Agent Carter. Peggy Carter: Colonel Phillips. Col. Chester Phillips: I see you’re breaking in the candidates. That’s good!

…than when she punched Nazis thanks to being a super soldier. Peggy has never been a fragile Fräulein, but this episode seems to remark she’s not one merely because she has taken the serum.

As a result… she sets an impossible role model for girls. If the key to be (partially) respected and accepted by males is to get the super soldier serum and/or the shiled… well, that serum doesn’t exist, not does the shield.

And a similar problem exists in “What If... T'Challa Became a Star-Lord?”

Teaching a small child he can solve problems by talking and not by hitting is important… but passing the message that you can stop bullies or worse just by talking to them is again setting an impossible role model. People like Thanos can’t be stopped with just words. People like Yondu and the Ravagers wouldn’t become Robin Hood and his merry men merely because they have with themselves a young boy who tells them the right things… and what Yondu does to T’Challa is worse than what he did to Quill and having been kidnapped as a child shouldn’t be waved off so easily. We’re not talking of Yondu finding an orphaned T’Challa and raising him, if he had picked up N’Jadaka after he lost his father it would have been different, but here, he just ripped a child from a loving family, a family he loved back. And it’s almost presented as a good thing because this causes the universe to be saved by Thanos, Yondu’s lie giving T’Challa the motivation to try to to make the universe a better place.

Nebula: You lost your home, and now you save everyone else's.

And problems continue with “What If... the World Lost Its Mightiest Heroes?” because there, the solution, the hope, is presented solely by the superheroes. No one opposes to Loki, the whole Earth is expected to be saved by Captain America and Carol Danvers. The one who refuses to kneel to Loki is Fury, who’s considered special. We don’t have in this story a lone old man who’s standing stubbornly despite the threat.

LOKI: Kneel before me. [The crowd ignores him. Three more Loki's appear, surrounding and blocking the crowd from escaping.] I said KNEEL! [While the crowd quietly kneels, Loki embraces out his arms with a wide smile] Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel. ELDER GERMAN MAN: [As the words resonate to the kneeling crowd, an elder German man refuses to kneel and stands, heroic.] Not to men like you. LOKI: There are no men like me. ELDER GERMAN MAN: There are always men like you. LOKI: Look to your elder, people. Let him be an example. [As Loki is about to execute the man with his scepter as the light glows blue. Right as the energy beam shoots out, Captain America arrives, diving in just in time to block the blast with his shield, and knocking down Loki]

So basically in this series heroes set impossible standards… and are the only ones who can save the day. It can be fun for an adult, as he doesn’t need role models… but for a boy who’s no more a small child but not yet old enough to do without viewing heroes are role models, the heroes presents a standard that is something unattainable. And this is bad because he too might enjoy watching the show, but the show gives him no hope… where ironically, Marvel movies were about giving positive role models in which you could identify.

Overall I stay my case, the “What if” series is definitely enjoyable… but the bar for the target audience is set to a very young age, they don’t really follow the idea that one small change can realistically change everything because they actually intrude plenty of small changes for their setting to work, and might end up not giving the right message if you’re in between a age between a small child and an adult. Of course future “What if” episodes might change, and I will probably still love them because I adore what if… but I would love them even more if they had aimed to a target audience a little older… making their heroes, more realistic role models which can be emulated and if they had respected their own premise, that ONE SINGLE CHANGE can create a completely different new reality.

What changed in the Peggy episode wasn’t just Peggy not sitting on the booth. What changed in the T’Challa episode wasn’t just Yondu sending his subordinates to pick up a kid. What changed in the mightiest heroes episode wasn’t just Hope dying.

The fact you need more changes in order to make the difference makes the initial point that one change can make the difference void. You destroy your own premise… and this is not really a great idea.

But whatever, I guess if the idea is that the audience is really young, they didn’t expect the audience to pick this up but just to swallow their idea that ‘a moment created a new universe’.

MEDIA MENTIONED:

Movies: “Iron Man 2” (2010), “The Incredible Hulk" (2008), “Thor” (2011), “Captain America: The First Avenger” (2011), “The Avengers” (2012), “Thor: The Dark World” (2013), “Captain America: The Civil War” (2016), “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” (2017), “Thor – Ragnark” (2017), “Black Panther” (2018), "Avengers: Infinity War” (2018), “Captain Marvel” (2019)

Comics: “The Avengers Prelude Fury's Big Week” (2012)

#mcu what if #mcu iron man 2 #mcu the incredible hulk #mcu thor #mcu captain america the first avenger #mcu the avengers #mcu thor the dark world #mcu guardians of the galaxy vol. 2 #mcu thor ragnarok #mcu black panther #mcu avengers infinity war #mcu captain marvel #9 worlds study

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sophieakatz · 3 years ago

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Thursday Thoughts: Marvel What If’s Women Problem

Welcome back to the feminist rant!

I really didn’t intend to spend three weeks in a row writing about the Marvel animated series What If…? But I wanted to see this through.

Last week we talked about this show’s abundant use of the “fridged woman” trope. However, a show doesn’t need to kill its female characters in order to fail them.

Remember that time I made up a feminist movie test? I call it the “Want Test.” You can read the full explanation here, but here’s the summary:

This test requires that a film (or, in this case, an episode of a TV show) has at least one named female character. After watching the show, ask, “Does what the named female character want matter to the plot?” Then, score the movie based on the answer to this question.

If the answer is “Yes, what the named female character wants matters to the plot,” then give the movie a checkmark!”

If the answer is “Yes, AND this is true of multiple named female characters,” then the movie gets a check-plus. If these characters help each other get what they want, the movie gets a check-double-plus!

If the answer is “Yes, BUT her wants are an obstacle to a male character’s goal,” then the movie gets a check-minus. The woman may matter to the plot, but her importance is centered on her relationship to a male character and how much he matters to the plot. Often movies with a check-minus involve a male protagonist actively trying to stop a female character from getting what she wants; while she has an impact on the world around her, the movie isn’t rooting for the woman.

If the answer is “No, what she wants doesn’t matter,” then the movie fails the test. Give it a minus.

Okay, now let’s talk about Marvel What If. Once again, there are spoilers for the first seven episodes of this show below the cut, and some discussion of the plot points in the movies these episodes are based on.

When I compare the first seven episodes of What If to the Want Test, they each barely scrape their way to a check-minus (though after my rant last week, I’m tempted to edit my test so that a show that fridges a female character automatically fails). In summary, it does not matter what most of the named female characters want. Each episode has a single woman whose wants do affect the plot, but what she wants is always some kind of obstacle to a male character’s goal. Even when the women of What If survive the episode, the male characters’ feelings are the primary engine of the show.

As I neared the end of Episode Six, “What If… Killmonger Rescued Tony Stark?” I said to myself, “Well, at least Pepper and Shuri aren’t dead.” But then, in the last minute of the episode, Shuri and Pepper meet and state their intent to take down Killmonger. And I said to myself, “Okay, so why didn’t we get THAT episode?”

Sure, it’s cool to see two smart girls teaming up, but they don’t get to do anything! This episode repeatedly puts Pepper and Shuri down. Every time they express suspicion of Killmonger, someone contradicts them. What they want does not matter. They are obstacles to the men, and they are easily pushed aside, and so all they can do is stand in the background and watch while the boys run around and play war games.

If your named female characters only matter in the last scene of the show, then they don’t really matter. This episode wasn’t about the women at all. It was about the men killing each other and making each other sad.

I really don’t want to say much about the seventh episode, “What If… Thor Were an Only Child?”

What I will say is, “Why, why, WHY is Dr. Jane Foster more concerned about hurting the hot guy’s feelings than she is about how the hot guy is about to cause the end of the world?”

And I will also say, “Why does Captain Marvel need to be nice to Thor at the end of the episode after he spent the entire episode being a jackass to her?”

And I will end this section of the blog post by saying, “Frigga deserves so much better than any man in her family has ever given her.”

The second episode of this show, “What If… T’Challa Became a Star-Lord?” might be my favorite episode. Mainly because it’s the only one I genuinely liked while I was watching it. It was fun, and I was happy to hear Chadwick Boseman’s voice one more time. Overall, it’s a lovely tribute to both the actor and his character.

But, for me, liking this episode required ignoring a big problem: Nebula and Thanos’s relationship.

We don’t know exactly when in this timeline T’Challa met Thanos and convinced him to give up on the “murder half the universe” plan. But we do know that even before Thanos collected the Infinity Stones, he was roaming the universe slaughtering millions. We know he committed genocide against Gamora’s people the day he “adopted” her, and it’s safe to assume he did the same to Nebula’s. We know that he raised Gamora and Nebula to fight each other, and every time Nebula lost a fight, he replaced a part of her body with cybernetics, constantly torturing her.

What If never tells us that that Thanos did not abuse his daughters. It never tells us that he did not slaughter millions, including his daughters’ birth families. But it does tell us that Thanos is Nebula’s father. And he wouldn’t be her father if he hadn’t been roaming the universe killing people.

In this episode, we see an adult Nebula who seems to think her dad is annoying, but any feelings she might have about how genuinely terrible he is – feelings she was freely willing to admit in the Guardians of the Galaxy movies – go completely unmentioned.

Thanos and Nebula’s relationship is played for laughs, like they just need to get over their past and hug it out. That bothers me a lot. It’s like the show is saying that Nebula’s pain doesn’t matter. What matters is that Thanos is sad she doesn’t want to hang out with him.

I should also point out that in Avengers: Infinity War, Gamora gets fridged. Her feelings are unimportant to the plot; her stated desire to die before she can be used as a part of Thanos’s plot is mocked and discarded. When she is murdered, the moment of her death is all about how it would hurt Thanos to kill her. Gamora’s death also serves as motivation for Peter Quill to sabotage the other heroes’ efforts to stop Thanos.

Gamora is nowhere to be seen in this episode of What If. The women that Thanos abused really don’t matter here at all.

I’ve been putting off talking about this show’s pilot episode, “What If… Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?” This episode was… You know, it was fun, in a very similar way to how the Star Lord T’Challa episode was fun. I can’t lie and say I didn’t like seeing super buff Peggy Carter beat the crap out of Nazis. That was a lot of fun.

But the thing I couldn’t stop thinking while watching was, “This isn’t Peggy’s story. It’s Steve’s!”

Peggy Carter may have gotten the super serum in this reality, but Steve Rogers is still the main driving force of the plot. Peggy goes to Germany to save Steve’s best friend. She works with Steve’s allies, the Howling Commandoes, instead of finding her own. Steve’s issues and emotions are central to everything Peggy does; she may say in dialogue that she wants to end the war, but what we see is that Steve is her motivation. In fact, he’s everyone’s motivation – in the scene where Peggy, Bucky, Howard, and the Howling Commandoes decide to go take down Red Skull, they all go around the table and say that they’re doing it “for Steve.” Not because ending the war is the right thing to do, not because they care about the millions of people murdered and tortured by the Nazis – but because they care about Steve.

When I first heard about this show, I thought that Steve was going to die, and that would be why Captain Carter would exist. The interesting/ironic thing here is that the episode pokes at the idea of fridging Steve, but it doesn’t quite have the guts to go through with it. Everyone thinks that Steve died on the train, but then they find him in Red Skull’s castle, and he’s totally fine! Killing off Captain America would have been an interesting, powerful new direction to take the story. But this episode doesn’t seem interested in taking new directions. It seems more interested in showing how things would stay the same even if Steve didn’t get the serum, even if Peggy switched careers from secret agent to superhero, even if Bucky never became the Winter Soldier, even if Red Skull decided to open a portal to tentacle hell. Things just stay the same.

And I don’t get the point of presenting us with a show where there are “endless possibilities” if things are just going to stay the same. If Peggy Carter will still be a side character in Steve Roger’s story. If Hank Pym’s grief still matters more than Janet and Hope Van Dyne’s lives. If Thanos will still never be held accountable for abusing Gamora and Nebula. If Doctor Strange is still an arrogant jackass. If the only realities we see are ones where men get to act and feel, and women get to be plot devices.

The truth is that the Watcher just isn’t interested in showing us realities where women live and thrive in their own right. For all its emphasis on how different decisions can cause dramatic changes to reality, the creators of What If have no real investment in making different decisions in how they portray female characters. It’s just more of the same.

I’m done thinking about this show. Let’s talk about something else next week, okay?

Be good to yourself, be kind to each other, and you’ll hear from me again soon!

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lokis-army-77 · 4 years ago

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If You Please

Chapter eight

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2900

This is technically a reader insert but without the (y/n) and all that. She also has no name mentioned so feel free to imagine as you please.

Follow the reader through the events of the Captain America movies and experience her love for Bucky Barnes.

Warnings: angst but not really

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Masterlist

In the time that it took for us to make the long trek through the hills and woods, I had recounted the events of the past few months to Bucky. He walked beside me, holding my hand the whole time. He listened intently, asking questions when I paused for a breath. When I finished, Bucky was a little upset. Not at the fact that I had willfully allowed myself to be experimented on, but because I had joined a secret Government agency almost right out of high school and didn’t tell anyone.

I told him that I was sorry and that I would have told him if I hadn't been contractually obligated to keep it a highly kept secret. He forgave me quickly, saying that the only reason he was okay with it was that it allowed me to be able to see him. I shook my head lightheartedly. Bucky never was able to stay upset with me for long.

The sun had come up by the time our group made it back to the base camp. As we got closer and closer, I could feel a buzz of life going through the men. They were excited to be back in safe territory. The soldiers in the camp all came running to greet us as we made our way up the road. They all stood around us and cheered. Steve, Bucky, and I kept walking through the camp towards Coronel Phillips’ tent. The cheering quieted as we were met by the Coronel several yards away from the tents. Peggy was following closely behind the Coronel.

“Sir. Some of these men are in need of medical attention immediately.” Steve started. “We would also like to offer ourselves up for disciplinary action.” He glanced back at me as he made the comment. I gave him a nod in agreement. I didn’t fear the consequences, we had done the right thing and that was all that mattered.

“That won’t be necessary.” Philips started and walked away.

More and more soldiers continued to gather around us until all I could see were cheering men. Loudly one of them shouted, “Let’s hear it for Captain America!” The crowd went into an uproar at that, and it seemed like everyone started to clap Steve on the back. Bucky and Steve gave one another a quick look before they started to argue with the men that I had also helped in rescuing them, but none of them would listen.

“Guys stop it, it doesn't matter if they believe I helped or not,” I stepped in before their arguments could get heated.

“Don’t say that. I couldn’t have done any of this without you, they need to know who helped get them to freedom.” Steve argued.

"Yeah Doll, they should know who helped save them,” Bucky chimed in.

I just stood there looking at them. “I don’t care if they believe I helped or not, just let it go. I really only went to find out what happened to Bucky, and since he's okay, I’m content.” I started walking away from the crowd after that, Bucky not far on my heels. “Let's go, Buck,” I stuck out my hand to grab onto his, “I’m ready for a shower and some good sleep.”

After a few days of recuperation, the camp was packed up. Most of the 107th, high commanding officers, and Steve, Bucky, and I, were taken back to London. While the rest of the base went onwards, closer to the front lines.

Steve and I were brought to one of the several secret underground bases to relay all the information we could remember about the night we took down the HYDRA base. Steve was currently marking the locations of other HYDRA bases he had seen on a map hanging in Zola’s office. I sat off to the side of the table watching quietly, not really paying attention. I was brought back to reality as the map was yanked out from under my elbow. I looked up and noticed Steve and Peggy walking away. I quickly got up and followed them over to the large map laid out in the center of the room.

“These are all of the weapons factories that we know about. Sergeant Barnes said that they ship all the parts out to another facility that wasn't shown on the maps.” Steve informs Peggy and Coronel Phillips.

“Agent Carter, get in touch with MI6, I want all allied eyes looking for the main base,” Philips commanded.

“What about us Coronel?” I questioned.

“We are going to go after Johann Schmidt. What do you call Captain Rogers? It’s your map, can you wipe HYDRA off it?”

“Yes Sir, I do. I’ll just need a team to do it.” Steve confirmed.

“We already have the men picked out.”

“With all due respect Coronel, I do too, and it includes my sister.”

Later that night Peggy and I were dressing up to go out. All the men had chosen to go to the bars and we both took this as a chance to at least pretend for a little while that the war wasn’t going on. I heard Peggy walking into the room as I finished pinning a few curls at the back of my head.

“How do I look?” She asked. I gasped as I turned around, I had never seen her in anything but the military blouse and skirt. The red knee-length, fitted dress made her look more beautiful than she already was.

“You look stunning. What about me?” I stood up and did a small twirl. The fabric of the dark royal blue dress flared out slightly as I did so.

“You look absolutely gorgeous.” She smiled at me. I gave her one back.

“We should be on our way, wouldn't want to keep the boys waiting.”

I could hear the music from the sidewalk as we approached the bar. Peggy pushed open the door and led us in. We had walked through several rooms before the singing of the soldiers slowly came to a stop and everyone glanced in our direction. I spotted Bucky and Steve sitting at the bar. They both stood when they saw Peggy and me. Bucky had the biggest smile on his face as he came towards me.

“You look beautiful tonight.” he leaned in to kiss my cheek. I pulled away in feign offense.

“Just tonight?”

“You know what I meant.” he gently shoved my arm. I laughed and wrapped my hand around his neck to pull him in for a light peck on the lips.

Peggy had moved closer to Steve before she explained to us that Stark had some new equipment for us to try out tomorrow morning. Steve and I had only just agreed to be at the base when Bucky was dragging me over to a small open space to dance.

He wrapped his hands around my waist and I placed mine around his neck, pulling us closer together. We swayed to the gentle music, completely enamored with one another. His under eyes were still dark from the exhaustion he faced at the Hydra base. He looked completely drained.

“Bucky, Sweetheart, you look absolutely exhausted. Why don’t we go back to the hotel where they have me set up? I’m sure that bed is way more comfortable than those cots they make you sleep in on base.” I suggested.

He pulled away slightly, only enough to look down into my eyes. “We can in a bit. I just want to have a little mundaneness before the whole ‘take HYDRA down’ mission starts.” He pulled me back in and softly pressed his lips to the top of my head.

I stay quiet after that and just enjoy being wrapped in his arms, swaying to the music. It had been months since anything remotely normal had happened in my life. We danced to three more songs before Bucky decided he was ready to leave. When the last song ended we made our way over to where Steve was sitting.

“Hey, we’re going to head out. He’s in desperate need of sleep and I'm taking him back to my hotel room for the night,” I told Steve, who stood up and shook his head.

“No, I'm not letting that happen,” He argued.

“Steve relax, nothings going to happen, we’re just sleeping.”

“I said no. No boys, not even if you are engaged.”

“Sorry but he's been sleeping in my room with me for the past two years so..” I trailed off.

“Two years?” He raised his voice a little. “How long has this been going on?”

“Calm down, there's no need to yell. We got engaged two years ago, in October. I meant to tell you, I really did, but I just could never find the right time. I was even going to tell you when we started dating but I knew how you thought Bucky was when it came to relationships. I can assure you he has been nothing less than loving, and kind to me. I’m sorry that we kept this from you and I hope you understand.”

Steve just stood there, processing what I had just told him.

“Look, Steve, I really do love her, and I know I should have asked for your permission first before I proposed but it just happened that way. I just, I just love her so much and I can’t imagine life without her by my side. So I’m asking now if I have your permission.”

Steve crosses his arms and looks between the two of us. He stayed quiet for several seconds before he replied. “I give you my permission, only because I trust my sister's judgment and I know you’ll be able to take care of her, not that she can't take care of herself.”

“I promise I’ll take care of her until I die. Once this God-forsaken war is over we were planning on having the wedding.”

“Okay, but I still don’t want you two sleeping in the same room alone.”

“Come on Steve, I said we weren’t going to do anything.” I gave out a small chuckle, thankful that the whole argument had blown over quickly. “Let’s go, Buck.” I pulled on Bucky's hand and headed to the entrance doors. I turned back to Steve and gave him a wave before going through the door.

The walk to the hotel was short and quiet. When we reached the building, Bucky denied that he was tired the whole way up to my room, but once we made it through the door and he had taken off his uniform he was laid out cold on the bed. I covered him up with the duvet before I went to the ensuite bathroom to get myself ready for bed.

When I finally laid down next to Bucky, I felt him automatically gravitate to my side. His arm came to rest around me and he buried his head in my chest. I just smiled and gently played with his hair until I also fell into a deep sleep.

Early that morning, before the sun had risen, I woke up to Bucky violently tossing and turning in his sleep. I quickly sat up to try and calm him down.

“Bucky, hey, I’m right here,” I whispered to him as I gently stroked his hair. In his sleep, he held onto my waist tighter. All I could do was sit there and wait for him to wake up. His nightmare went on for what seemed like forever before he finally woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. He picked himself up from his stomach and sat up, throwing his legs over the edge of the bed, and then he placed his head in his hands.

I crawled my way over behind him and placed my hands on his bare shoulders. He stayed quiet as I massaged away the knots. We stayed like this for a while before he placed his hands on mine, stopping my movements. I then wrapped my arms around him and gave him a tight, comforting hug.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked. He just shook his head and let out a shaky breath. I let go of him when I felt him start to scoot himself back up into the bed. I watched him wearily lay down on his back. He held his arms out to me motioning for me to come to him and I did. Nestling into his side I felt him start to slowly twirl the ends of my hair around his fingers.

“I’m sorry I woke you up.” He whispered into my hair.

“It’s alright. I would rather you wake me up than for you to have to deal with the nightmares by yourself.”

“I love you, you know that?”

“You may have mentioned it on occasion.” I laughed. “I love you too. Do you think you can get back to sleep?”

“I think I’ll sit up for a bit, you go ahead and get some rest.”

“Okay, but if you need someone to talk to, don't be afraid to wake me up. I mean it.” I shut my eyes and snuggled in closer to him. His breathing slowly went back to normal and I fell back to sleep to the rise and fall of his chest and the sound of his heart beating.

Later, when the city had fully come alive, Bucky and I got dressed and went our separate ways for the day. He went with me to the entrance doors of the hotel and kissed me goodbye before he turned to walk down the street. I watched him walk a way before he turned and gave me a wave. I waved back before I started down the opposite street.

The base was only a ten-minute walk from the hotel so I made it in no time. Going through the doors I made my way down to Howard’s lab. I spotted Howard and Steve talking at a table with several shields on it. I watched as Steve bent over and grabbed one from the bottom shelf. Peggy came into view as I started down the small set of stairs into the room. She came to a stop when Steve asked for her thoughts on the shield he was holding. She grabbed one of the guns from the table beside her and shot at the shield. The bullets ricocheted to the ground and Peggy stated that it in fact worked. She sat the gun back down and walked towards Steve and turned sharply now walking at me. When she got within arms distance of me I stopped her.

“What was that all about?” I gave her a quizzical look.

She just gave me a passive-aggressive smile and said, “Ask your brother.” She stormed out of the room after that, leaving me to interrogate Steve.

“Steve, what did you do?”

“I have no clue.” he exasperated.

“Well, you had to have done something. What happened before I got here?”

“Well, I was waiting to come see Howard when this one lady kissed me, and then Agent Carter started acting weird after that.” I gave him a look of defeated astonishment and brought my hand up to rub my temples.

“God Steve you’re so clueless. That’s literally why she's upset.”

“But why does that matter?”

“Because Steve, she likes you and you kissed someone else right in front of her.”

He stood there with his mouth gaping. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. I can’t believe you did that.” I shook my head. I stepped past him and went over to the other side of the table where Howard was. “Now, what's all this about having some equipment to try out?”

Howard turned to the table that was behind us and grabbed a long metal staff. He turned back to face me, holding out the staph. I took it from his hands and gave it a small twirl. “Stark, what's so special about a staff?”

“It isn’t just any staff, it's a two-piece bo staff. I had a talk with some of the trainers at the base in New York and they said you were exceptionally skilled with it. It's made from one of the rarest metals on the planet. It's practically indestructible.” He gave me a look. “Well don’t just stand there Rogers, give it a try.”

Strolling over to a section of the lab that was free of people. I started to spin the staff in my hands, going faster and faster. Using the momentum from the spinning I lunged forward and struck the staff at an imaginary opponent. I looked up and back at Howard and Steve.

“It’s a little lighter than what I’m used to, but it will work.”

“I'm glad it will work out. It took me forever to acquire a metal like that.”

Steve came over at that point, with a piece of folded paper in his hand. Holding it out to Howard he said, “I had some ideas for my suit. I even have some drawn sounds for hers as well.”

“I am not wearing a suit. I'll be just fine in my regular uniform.” I interjected.

“If you’re going to be coming with me to fight HYDRA then you need to wear a suit, for my peace of mind at least

“Fine, for your peace of mind.”

Tag list: @ginger-swag-rapunzel @underc0vercryptid-reads @geek-and-proud @intothesoul @leyannrae

#james buchanan barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky fic #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x rogers!reader #winter solider x reader #marvel fic #marvel fanfiction

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graphicabyss · 4 years ago

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I watched The Falcon And The Winter Soldier and I liked it more that I expected, although frankly I didn't expect much. Overall, I love the setting, the cinematography and the character development. The director and the writers did an excellent job. But it also sent me down an emotional roller-coaster and that's the thing I really need to talk about.

I know there are countless rants about TFATWS, Endgame, queerbaiting and poor MCU narratives but I've never really been hanging out in the fandom until recently so for me it's my first one and I need to get it off my chest. It's gonna be long.

It was interesting to see where the show's gonna take things but start to end there was an elephant in the room. It doesn't sit well with me the way they completely sidestepped the Steve Rogers issue. Like, "we didn't make this mess, so we're not gonna go there". And it's just wrong. You can't just avoid the subject altogether and pass it on for future writers to handle. Also, you see Bucky so sad and lonely it breaks your heart. And this inevitably made me think about Endgame and Cap's storyline. I didn't feel like writing it all down after Endgame but now all these thoughts and feelings came up again and I need to get it off my chest. If they ended it all at Endgame, and I thought they did, it would have been fine, sort of. We'd forgive some loose ends. But they didn't end it there and that makes them fully responsible for this mess. I mean, I didn't hate Cap's ending. After all, it could have been worse. Steve could get together with Sharon like in the comics and they probably considered it at some point but the reactions were so bad they backed down and dragged Peggy along. Still, the ending just felt forced, no matter how you look at it. The thing is, if I knew about it after the first movie, I'd rejoice. But at this point, after everything that went down after, it just doesn't feel right. I love Peggy and I can't deny the dance scene made me flutter a little but now I wish this was Steve's way to keep his promise before going back. In the end, Peggy would be fine without him. She had a good life, she made a career and a family. We know that thanks to Agent Carter. And we got many cues that Steve and Peggy's relationship, as important as it was, was over. Her saying goodbye to him by destroying the serum, him carrying her casket... Yet, Endgame effectively undermined that basically erasing all of these events from existence and making Peggy just a prize for Captain America. On the other hand, Bucky needed Steve the most. And the show made it clear how bruised and broken he was. Bucky and Steve's relationship was the closest of any relationship in the MCU. At that point it was clear Bucky was everything to him, the only one who could truly understand him. Steve lost him many times and every time he fought to bring him back, no matter how impossible it seemed. When Bucky was captured Steve went into an enemy base alone on a suicidal mission and saved him and everyone else. That's basically how he became Captain America. Then Bucky got killed in the war and it devastated him. Bucky returned as Winter Soldier and there was hardly any Bucky left in him but Steve nearly let himself be killed because he needed to save him and he trusted that James would not hurt him. When Bucky finally got to his senses, there was an ultimate war going on and in the Snap James fell to dust in front of Steve's eyes. It took 5 years to get him back. And as soon as Steve succeeded, he left him, along with the rest of his traumatized friends and the world in deep chaos, to be with Peggy in 1940's, thus throwing 12 years of his life away. It just didn't feel right. That does a disservice to both Steve and Peggy's storylines. But it's not just about Peggy or Bucky. Steve going back and living his life to return to that park as an old man has opened a rift with a host of questions. I tried to get to the bottom of it but it got me nowhere. According to Russo, when Steve went back he created an alternate reality. He also retired as Captain America. First off, I think he just made that up after to cover up the mess. If that was the case, Cap would return to the designated spot and not be sitting on a bench like he was waiting there all along. But, like, even if it was alternate reality, it could not be that different, right? He wouldn't just live in Peggy's basement, would he? He knew about the things to come like, you know, the HYDRA thing, and being the man that he was, he couldn't just sit and do nothing. Especially when Peggy was one of the founders of the SHIELD. Captain America or not, Steve would do everything to make this world a

better place. Also, if Steve went back after he crashed that plane, that means there's another Steve still locked in ice, which Russo confirmed. Even more importantly, in Steve's timeline Bucky is still with Hydra being tortured. There's no way he could leave him there. So much for the 'quiet life'. Then there are the writers of Endgame who claim that Peggy's two children are fathered by Steve. Really? That directly contradicts the earlier version that the father is a soldier Steve saved, which is shown in Agent Carter. Seriously, guys, if you're gonna make up random bullshit at least get your stories straight first. Fans love to make all sorts of theories to try and patch up the holes but the truth is, MCU is not just one mastermind's creation and the comics weren't either. It's bound to be a mess because it's created by dozens of writers and directors and each phase gets increasingly messier because it has to fit in with the 547 previously released movies and shows. I get that and I applaud the effort of Endgame but they really can't expect us to get involved with the characters only to see them being treated as an afterthought. And the thing is, I thought that it might be just me but after a quick survey of the fandom I realized that a lot of people feel the same way. If you look at the comment section of nearly any relevant video, you're gonna get top comments saying all these things. If Marvel listened just once maybe things would make more sense. And all these thoughts aren't necessarily what I wanted to see, but what would be right for the characters. And while I do love Stucky, I'm a reasonable shipper and I really didn't expect them to be canon gay or anything, I just wished they had at least spent some time together not fighting, just healing and catching up on their lives. Honestly, I don't always like the way people ship m/m characters in every show but this time it was really more than justified. The whole storyline going through Winter Soldier and Civil War was just massive queerbaiting. It was undeniably a love story, romantic or not. "Why do you ship male characters?" some people ask. Idk, maybe if the writers put half the effort into developing m/f relationships as they do m/m ones and not just randomly throw them together I might care about them. And MCU was terrible with romance. That traumatic kiss Steve had with Sharon Carter? In the comics, Steve did love Sharon but who cares? In MCU they met, like, twice. Mostly after Peggy's funeral. Peak romance. If they had to pick a new love interest they could go with Natasha. They cared about each other, they bonded in TWS and they were both dealing with some difficult issues. But they became just good friends, which I loved. Instead, Natasha got together with Banner? And then there's Wanda and Vision, which seemed like the most random of pairings with no buildup whatsoever. The wonderful world of heteronormativity where a witch/robot couple comes before a gay one. And the thing is, I only recently learned that there's some legit leverage to portray Bucky as gay. Bucky is based on two characters from the comics. Bucky Barnes was Steve's teen sidekick, kinda like Robin, so this origin was too weird for MCU. Instead, the writers used the origin story from a character named Arnie. It was a boy Steve grew up with, a boy who protected him from bullies, and a boy who kept inviting Steve to these double dates. A boy who was gay. Which wasn't explicitly stated but was pretty obvious. And this was in 1984. So making Bucky gay would be neither woke nor against 'canon'. It would be way overdue. So with TFTWS it was nice to see Bucky recover and bond with Sam but to me the whole ending also felt a bit excessively positive and this time the queerbaiting felt even more intentional, almost as if the writers wanted to distract the discontent fans with a new shiny ship so they forgot all the things they were mad about. Like, of course I want Bucky to be happy but also I hate the way the show's pushing the idea that he just needs to get over losing Steve and move

on with his life already because surely all his problems come from his inability to trust people and not trying hard enough, and not from being brainwashed and tortured for 70 years and then losing the only person who loved and cherished him.

#MCU #Endgame rant #Stucky #TFATWS #Marvel

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celestedreamsthat · 4 years ago

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It's not Her, its You | Steve Rogers x Reader

Hey guys, how's your week been so far? If yours has been as stressful as mine was, here's a nice imagine to read about ya boy Steve Roger's (aka America's Ass 😇😆) it's not proofread but enjoy!

Masterlist

Summary: Sharon has been hanging around Steve all week, and its getting on your LAST NERVE! Will Steve reciprocate your feelings, or succumb to her advances?

Warnings: not proofread, rasicm, racist slurs, a wild Sharon Carter

"Steve, how much can you dead lift?"

"Did you see the spin I did in training earlier?"

"HaHAhaA, you're SO FUNNY Steve!"

Omg, does this girl ever quit?! From her annoyingly high pitched voice to her stringy hair, Sharon Carter was one desperate woman.

Currently, you were sitting on the couch in the avengers lounge, wanting to spend some time with your friend Wanda. You had met when she was on the run, taking both her and Vision in - despite it being very dangerous helping known, wanted criminals.

For that, she'd always be grateful.

However, she had gone off on a phone call and had been gone quite a while. Where to? You didn't know.

What you did know was the annoying post was hovering over Steve, lighting up the fury inside you, as he did nothing to deter her advances.

'If he doesn't like black girls, least he could do is choose a decent white chick' you thought, your eyes glazed as you stared at the TV unseeingly.

'What was that?' Asked Steve, sitting down next to you on the couch, closer than necessary for those considered friends. And when did he get here?! His food prep time has certainly increased.

With a fond smile on your face, you remembered the times you helped him cook in the kitchen- he even attempted to help you cook Jellof and plantain one time!

'Hello, earth to Y/N. ' Said Steve, waving his hand across you cartoonishly. 'Penny for your thoughts?' He asked with a cheeky grin.

'Hey~ that's my line!' You laughed, playfully nudging him. Being with him like this was effortlessly easy. It was like all your troubles melted away-

'Steve, what should we watch? I like Keeping up with- ' "Actually, me and Y/N were gonna watch a movie" Steve interrupted, finally looking slightly put out at Sharon's presence. "Maybe Natasha's free?" With that he turned from her and slung an arm around your neck.

Girl, it was hard, but you just managed to keep a little grin of your face. 'Y/N 10, Dumb bitch 0'

Smugly you began to much on a salad leaf, stolen from Steve's plate. Of course, Sharon wouldn't be a true woman scorned without having the final say.

'How dare you talk to me like that' she began as she turned away- 'with your good for nothing cotton picking hands touching our food' .

To say you were shocked was an under statement. But before you could recover, Steve was jumping to his feet, bodily shoving Sharon's 'racist ass' out the door. Steve shouting all the while 'I can't believe you! Don't EVER come here again, and if I see you agent Carter, you WILL be suspended. Friday make sure you see to that" Steve finished in his sexy, no-nonsense Captain America voice.

The voice that starred in many wet dreams of yours, but who needs to know that, eh?😏 There were more pressing matters at hand.

'Are you alright? I'm sorry that happened if I had known I never would let her come near you. Your so important to me I- ' 'What Steve?' You clasped your hands in his as he returned to the couch to be near you.

'I love you, Y/N. I love your smile when u cook special soul food, or when you passionately discuss the injustice in the system, or how your face lights up when you beat tony on Mario Cart and you celebrate by flipping your braids in his face. I love-' but you had cut him off with a kiss.

You hoped your feelings were conveyed in that one kiss. 'And I, Love you. My sexy Captain' you grinned into his mouth, as you got caught up in it again.

"YeeAhh baby! Pay up boys" came a voice echoing from the hallway, sounding suspiciously like Natasha- "oh c'mon cap. Couldn't keep it in your pants for one more week?!" Came a disgruntled Tony's voice following. "Yeah man" Sam's voice followed suit.

"Hey leave us alone guys, we got some lost time to make up for..." Steve finished, trailing off to kiss you again.

"Couldn't have said it better, baby" you replied, already swept away by his luscious lips. But before you could go any further-

" HEY! Not on MY COUCH!!!"

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anonil88 · 4 years ago

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TFATWS SEASON 1 FINALE Liveblog

SPOILERS AHEAD.

Lots of action starting from jumping, i get that its necessary but some of it seems or feeld too long and drawn out.

I love Sam's winged captain America suit....mostly, that chin strap to ear cover thing looks weird to me outside of the comic books.

Does it even have a function? 🤨🤨🤨

Disney/Marvel is smart for during these flying and action scenes keeping the camera moving constantly because the eyes are less likely to pick up on what is real.

"MORGENTHAU!" Here comes great value super soldier ladies, gents, and those of the many varying gender identities......JOHN WALKER.

(Insert welcome to Walmart sound)

Him and his janky ass homemade shield that looks like a damn toy in this fight.

She said i don't give two flying fucks about you or your lil friend dude. RIP or whatever lmfao.

They are really jumping John like he's some guy off the street that stepped on their shoes.

Yay Bucky got to be the hero!!! And now he's back to kicking people in the chest. These flag smasgers lack fighting skills, all brawn and instinct with no skill. They keep going for Bucky' left arm not the right.

I really like that if you have closed captions on everytime Sam speaks it says Captain America. :)

Yea you bouta get ya ass beat mr. helicopter soldier.

Very smart planning Sam. 👏 👏

John might kill Karli but I want him to get his ass beat so badly.

Ayy nice kick girl nice kick.

If you really want to be a hero save these people.

Ayy here we.....go?

Oh it's Sam! When the hell did jet packs get strong enough to hold up an armored vehicle with people in it and a man in a full vibranium suit? Comic logic i guess haha.

Let me guess all this smoke is Sharon as the power brokers doing? Oh no maybe not.

They really forgot the power broker is looking for them in all of this.

We were right, she is the power broker that was obvious though.

Ah fuck she, Karli, shot Sharon no!

I hope Sam can get through to her even though his ass really can't fight at all.

I never thought John would be right about all three of them fighting on the same team but here we are.

Can John not make jokes...ever again....

Oh she wants a fight and he won't give it to her and that makes her so angry. Sharon to save the day but also Karli was just a very angry young person who the world fucked over so many times she thought anger was not only her purpose but her solution.

Aw Sam he actually cared about her though and shows up with her in his arms kid of like an angel.

Oh he is calling the politicians out too, in front of the press. Oh?

I wonder how the people will perceive him not as Sam, but as Captain America and Falcon for speaking his truth. He is a black man being the middle ground and mediator between those in power and the people.

Yea I really hate the goggles connected to the neck gaiter.

Bucky has a new Cap for a bestfriend 😭

Also, Bucky really loves being in the company of criminals i swear.

That movement is strong as hell now lol

Oh shit who is this old man? He just killed them all lmfao.

Ayyy the raft!

Oh that was Zemo's henchman lmfao Zemo planned it lmfao.

Time for US Agent to be shield's new personal attack dog.

Sigh Buck.... he has to let go of his old man friend. This older man does deserve closure and he will still have the girl to help him through his emotions. She didn't look upset at Bucky though which is good. No grudges just releasing the past.

Isaiah looks really good and just confident now maybe it is the a haircut. Awwww Isaiah and his grandson at the cap exhibit awwww they gave him a statue. This is making me tear up not gonna lie. Oof this man deserved and deserves so much better than how they treated him. Sam a real one for this.

Ay back in Louisiana!

Bucky looks mighty comfortable in this town full of black people...playing with the kids....helping out during the boil *sips tea* mighty comfortable ☕

Aw the change of the title 😭

Captain America and The Winter Soldier. I.E my captain America is black.

Post credit scene: THATS RIGHT MY BAD BIH AGENT SHARON CARTER BY DAY AND UNDERGROUND CRIME LORD BY NIGHT. "girlboss gatekeep and gaslight" lmfao

Overall thoughts: First i will start with my thoughts on the finale the first half with all the action was just okay in my opinion. I did not have many expectations high or low, but it was lacking something in all the action. Something that most of the other fight scenes had and have had in the MCU. I don't know what that spark is though (could be neat being tired) but it still felt underwhelming. Even Sam's speech was not the heroic candor or bold speech i expected. His talk with Isaiah was better imo. The second half of this episode really stood out for me though and had some very touching moments. Overall for the season, I really liked this show more than I thought I would and I wonder if we will see a season 2 instead of a movie spin off. Honestly from what I've heard from others that might be better if Disney/Marvel is going the route of deep dive with all of their characters. Bucky still has some things to work through but for now he is good and Sam has things to do as Cap so idk how much they would be able to tie together to make a season 2. I would be up for watching it though, really love the dynamic of these two on and off screen.

#tfatws spoilers #tfatws #the falcon and the winter solider spoilers #the falcon and the winter soldier #live blog #liveblog #tfatws lb

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3pirouette · 4 years ago

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Fic: Domestic Bliss and International Espionage (1/1)

Title: Domestic Bliss and International Espionage By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette Spoilers: General TFA and AC Disclaimer: They're not mine. Word Count: 8109 Distribution: AO3 Anyone else please ask first :)

Story Summary: For Tumblr’s @superhero-daugthers11 as a pinch hit for the Steggy Secret Santa. Steve and Peggy, back in the US after the war, go undercover as a newlywed couple to find a Hydra scientist hiding in the suburbs.

A/N: This is 100% inspired by several things. 1. One of my all-time favorite X-Files Episodes “Arcadia” 2. The first episode of WandaVision 3. My giftee saying she liked the idea of Steggy married/dating and working together for SHIELD, and 4. Getting another Steggy Bingo Prompt in there… sentence prompt: “Did you really just insult Captain America in front of me?”

Please assume/add in your headcanons for the following: Steve was rescued shortly after the Valkyrie crash and OBVIOUSLY has pursued a romantic relationship with Peggy. Due to this, the events of the Agent Carter series have NOT happened. They’re both working for the SSR, tying up loose ends from the war.

Easiest way to see what I see is to imagine Steve and Peggy in the Petrie’s house from the Dick Van Dyke Show… but if you’re not familiar with that, the house from the first episode of WandaVision will do nicely.

~*~

Steve turned from the suitcase where he was lifting folded shirts out. “Just… consider this a test run.”

Peggy smirked, leaning against the doorjamb of the bedroom. She held out her hand, one of Steve’s socks dangling from her two fingers. “What, for me finding your stinky socks on the bathroom floor? Strike one, Rogers.”

Peggy tossed the sock to him, moving into the small bedroom with its double twin beds. She sat heavily on the side of hers, shaking her head. “If this is anything like moving, I’ll never do it again. I’m exhausted.”

Steve tucked his shirts away in the drawer, turning back to her, balling the sock up in his hand and tossing it into the hamper in the closet. “Most houses don’t have top of the line surveillance equipment we would have to hide in the roses.”

“The neighbors are already peeking out,” Peggy said, kicking her shoes off and sliding them under the edge of the bed with her toe. “I saw some from the back door peeking over while I was finishing in the kitchen. I’m sure we’ll have visitors tomorrow.”

Steve grabbed his empty suitcase from the bed and slipped it in the closet, shutting the door. “I’m surprised we didn’t have any today, what with all the commotion of moving in.”

Peggy shrugged, bouncing back to lie on the bed. “In my experience, deep cover Hydra scientists trying to hide out in suburban communities don’t just knock on your door and announce themselves.”

Steve chuckled, moving over to sit on the side of her bed at her hip. He gently took her left hand, running his thumb over the fake wedding band she wore. Peggy smiled up at him. “You know, Angie told me you’d asked her about my ring size.” Steve’s eyebrows rose to his hairline, and she could see his mind trying to scramble to salvage the surprise. “Oh, I know it’s coming, Steve. Don’t try to pretend it isn’t.”

He smiled softly. “I was hoping to surprise you is all.”

“You will,” she whispered, shifting to hold his hand tight. “When, where, how… I’ll try to avoid using my super spy powers on you to divine those things.” She reached her other hand to slide up his arm. “I’m an inpatient woman, so don’t make me wait too long.”

Steve smiled wolfishly at her, leaning over and putting his weight on his left hand, trapping her under him. “I mean, this counts, right?” He leaned down, letting Peggy traverse the last few centimeters to bring their lips together, kissing her sweetly. “This counts as being married?”

She chuckled as she kissed him, reaching one arm up to twine in the short hairs at the nape of his neck. “Absolutely does not.”

He pulled back a bit, teasing. “I mean, I am sleeping right over there…”

“In your own bed,” Peggy pushed them up to sitting, wrapping both arms around his shoulders.

“And it would be so easy to just push them together.”

She shook her head, teasing, despite the fact that the idea seemed like a good one to her. “Scandalous.”

Steve kissed her gently again. “Well, I suppose I should at least pretend to let you get a good night’s sleep?”

Peggy nodded, smiling. “We’ve got a bit of work ahead of us, I think. Very few men trying to hide from prosecution for war crimes make themselves known.”

“Good night then,” he kissed her softly and pushed away from her, “Mrs. Harper.”

Peggy tipped her head with a sultry smile. “Mr. Harper.”

~*~

Peggy moved the eggs around the pan, eyes tight on them as Steve walked into the kitchen the next morning. “Don’t distract me,” she mumbled. “The second I look away they burn.”

He watched her for a moment as she gently stirred the scrambled eggs, eyes intent as he’d ever seen them. “Stove burning too hot?”

“Simply out of practice, I’m afraid. Already ruined four eggs this way.” She pulled the pan off the heat and separated the eggs on to two plates. “Anything I’ve eaten for the last few years has come from a mess, out of a can, or from the automat.” She set the empty pan down and snapped off the heat. “Why you ever married me I’ll never know.”

He moved over, taking both plates and kissing her on the cheek. “Why, I like it so much, I might do it twice.”

Peggy chuckled, moving the pan to the sink and running water in it. “Easy there, soldier. We haven’t made it through this mission yet.” She peeked over at his silence, then turned around all the way, meeting his intent stare. “It’s the apron, isn’t it? I’ve gone too far?”

Steve watched, hands still full of plates, as she spun in her dress, looking for something out of place while her perfect curls bounced around her face like something out of a beauty magazine. He smiled, “No, no- I just…” he cleared his throat, moving to set the plates on the small table in the kitchen. He took a gentle deep breath and moved over to her. “It’s all a little… too perfect, you know? Not quite us, I think, but like something out of a movie.”

Peggy bit her lip, stepping closer to him so he could wrap her in his arms. “This whole thing is a bit spot on.” She played with the edge of his cardigan, the blue doing amazing things for his eyes. “But needs must when trying to build a trap.”

He moved his hand to trace over her chin, feeling content and happy despite the threat. “Will you cook me eggs after this is all over?”

Peggy would her arms around his neck, humming happily. “If you’re a good boy.” After a moment, she pushed back, centering herself. “Though you haven’t eaten them, yet, so you are taking a large chance there, darling.” She pushed him towards the table and followed shortly, two mugs of coffee in her hands.

“Peg—”

“Betty,” she demanded, stopping and looking at him. “I agree that this little fantasy is a bit of a slippery slope for the both of us, but we really must start doing better.” She sat and slid his coffee to him, looking him in eyes pointedly. “Roger.”

Steve nodded, taking the coffee. “Right. Betty,” he paused, the name not rolling off his tongue easily, “I can help with the cooking.”

“And risk someone seeing?” She picked up her fork, face stern. “From this moment on, no matter what, we’re happy newlyweds Roger and Betty Harper. I’m a stay-at-home wife who loves to knit and worked in a bullet factory during the war, you’re a veteran and you do figures at an accounting firm in the city. Perfect little wife, doting husband. Suburban life to a ridiculous, stereotypical T, got it?”

He held out his hand and she took it, looking at her plate rather than at him. “Hey,” he waited until she lifted her eyes. “I was just enjoying it too much. I know our cover. I’m in this one hundred percent, okay?”

Peggy held his hand and squeezed lightly, the smile returning to her face. “Yes, dear.”

~*~

By mid-morning they’d had five of the neighboring wives stop in to introduce themselves. Most were kind, young, gregarious and a bit overly excited to get to know them once Steve showed his face.

“You should stay in the kitchen when the next one comes over,” Peggy complained, sitting heavily on their small couch. “I can’t stand another wide-eyed housewife dazzled by your smile.”

Steve laughed, sitting next to her. “There’s only one housewife I want dazzled by my smile.”

Peggy collapsed into his lap, looking up at him. “She’s a little too tired to be dazzled right now. Somehow social pleasantries are more exhausting than the battlefield.” She closed her eyes, letting Steve’s fingers running through her hair lull her into a sense of calm. “Anything on any of the cameras?”

“No,” Steve didn’t slow his movements as his hand combed through her hair. He’d spent his morning when he wasn’t meeting neighbors “working,” keeping an eye on all of the cameras and equipment they’d set up. “So far just people mowing their lawns and taking walks.” She could feel his chuckle. “Not that I expected to see anyone building a bomb in their back yard…”

She reached up a hand, gently hitting him in the chest. “Don’t be flippant about it. Some people are quite stupid.”

The doorbell rang again and Peggy hoisted herself from Steve’s embrace, straightening her dress and forcing a smile on her face. “You look perfect,” Steve reassured.

She huffed, her eyebrows bouncing high on her forehead as she moved to the front door. “Hello?” She asked, her tone changing as she pulled the door open.

Standing across from her was a young woman, similar in age to Peggy, with sharp features and immaculately styled blonde hair. “Oh, hi! I hope I’m not interrupting?” Her Midwest accent was sharp, just a little too bubbly as she held out the dish she was holding. “I just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.”

Peggy swept back, opening her arm. “Please come in. I’m Betty and this is my husband, Roger.”

“Dottie Underwood,” she said quickly, smiling back and forth between the both of them. “I brought you some cookies, I baked them fresh last night, and if I leave them around the house I’m afraid my father just eats them all.”

Peggy carefully took the dish, smiling as she set it down. “They look wonderful, thank you.”

Dottie’s eyes swept around the house, somewhat more intent than a simple curious glance. “You’re quite welcome. How are you settling?”

Steve stood tall, smiling brightly as he moved next to Peggy, gently laying his hand on her back. “Well enough, people have been very kind. I think we’ve met most of the neighborhood by now, haven’t we, honey?”

Peggy giggled, leaning into his side and watching how Dottie tried to keep her smile straight. “Oh, at least the whole street, I’m sure.”

“That’s wonderful.” Dottie smiled brightly. “I was hoping maybe you’d come over for dinner tonight? I live with my father and I’m afraid he doesn’t go out much anymore, but he does enjoy meeting everyone.”

Steve and Peggy shared a short look. To the average person it seemed just a husband and wife consulting one another, to the trained eye, the conversation that happened was much more in-depth and quick. “Well,” Steve replied quickly, “I think we’d be delighted.”

“Oh, that’s just wonderful,” Dottie replied, her smile growing wider, eyes sparkling as she moved toward the door. “I’ll go tell father, he’ll be so pleased.”

Dottie smiled at them, the three standing quietly until Steve nudged Peggy I the back. “Oh, yes, is there anything we can bring?” Peggy asked, trying to hide her forgetfulness with a fluster.

Dottie laughed lightly, moving towards the door. “Just yourselves. Six o’clock, sharp.” She stopped, hand on the knob. “We’re the little blue house, 1013, just on the other side of the street.”

Once she was out, Peggy scooted to the window, watching as Dottie meandered down the driveway and sidewalk, eyes never leaving her until she disappeared into her own home. “Did she strike you as…”

“Trying to hard?” Steve supplied, looking over her shoulder. “Suspicious?”

Peggy turned, looking at him, the agent emerging from the housewife. “Do we have a camera on their house?”

Steve smiled. “Rosebush 3.”

~*~

“What do you mean you invited them over?” Fennhoff bellowed, slamming his fist on the small kitchen table. “What about in hiding do you not understand?”

Dottie rolled her eyes at him, sitting across the table. “Sometimes the best place to hide is out in the open, Papa.” The title dripped from her lips, sarcastic and biting. She pulled the notebook he was scribbling in away, forcing him to look at her. “If we want to fit in, we need to get to know these people, make them want to help and protect the old man and his daughter.”

He grabbed the notebook back. “We should stay inside.”

“You can’t build a new identity by staying inside you helpless oaf.” Dottie stood, pushing away from the table and letting the legs of the chair scrape along the floor. She rounded the small table, leaning over the scientist’s shoulder, eyes dark. “My job is to protect you until Hydra builds itself back up and is ready for you to come back. You trust me, or you get caught. Your call.”

He pursed his lips tight, unhappy. “We should be at their home, going through their things.”

Dottie made a noise in the back of her throat as she rolled her eyes and moved away. “Like I haven’t thought of that.” She moved away, leaning on the kitchen counter. “I’ve already told them you’re unwell. At some point we’ll make your excuses and you can go see what you can find.”

His eyes narrowed dangerously. “I am not the one who is a spy, you are.”

Dottie smiled like a snake, her teeth sharp and gleaming in the light. “You’re whatever I tell you you are until this whole thing is over.”

~*~

Steve looked at the young man across the dinner table, knowing he was lying. As hard as he’d tried to get in the Army, there had been more people trying just as hard, if not harder, to get out of it. “4F you say?”

“Yeah,” Dan from across the street cleared his throat. “Asthma. Wouldn’t let me enlist over a little thing like that.”

Dinner was a strained affair. Steve and Peggy saw upon their arrival that they hadn’t been the only people invited. Dottie has also invited her neighbors, Dan and Laura Smythe, to try to help them get to know people. Though they tried to keep the conversation moving, it was stilted and uncomfortable. Dottie, all smiles, kept trying to shift topics of conversation while her father sat grumpily at the head of the table.

“Beastly affair, that war.” Dottie’s feigned sadness was easy to see through. “It’s how I lost my Earnie.”

Laura wasn’t quite as sharp as Peggy and fell for the faux sadness, letting her hand rest on the woman’s arm. “Your beau?”

“We were engaged,” Dottie continued, sniffling dramatically. “He was a pilot with the 107th, got shot down over enemy territory.”

Steve and Peggy shared a look. There hadn’t been any pilots in the 107th, definitely none named Earnie. A quick glance at the older Underwood revealed nothing. He had no feelings about the loss of the man who supposedly was going to marry his daughter, which struck them both as odd.

Laura, however, was eating it up. “Was he one of the soldier’s that Captain America saved in that amazing rescue? Didn’t he save nearly that whole battalion?”

Dottie shook her head. “No, he was lost just before that, I’m afraid.”

“Well, that didn’t happen, anyway.” Steve said with a bold confidence that made every face turn and look at him.

Peggy’s jaw tightened as she turned to him, putting a hand to his arm. “Darling.”

“No, you know how I feel about this, Betty.” Steve turned and patted her hand, every inch the dismissive husband. “I was out there, fighting for my life, fighting to get back to you, and they parade this guy around in tights on newsreels?”

“Laura and I saw him at one of those USO shows,” Dan started, causing Peggy to squeeze Steve’s arm in concern that their ruse was about to fall apart, “I swear I saw wires. Guy was an actor and a hack.”

“Right?” Steve threw up his hand, nodding appreciatively at the man. “No way he was that strong.”

Laura giggled a bit, leaning towards Dottie. “He was quite handsome, though, don’t you think?”

Dottie, hoping to defuse some of the tension she could feel radiating around the table, just laughed along. “Oh yes, very handsome.” Dottie turned her smile across the table. “Did you ever get to see him, Betty?”

Peggy folded her hands under the table. “Oh, a few times.” She snuck a look at Steve then leaned forward, whispering towards the women though she knew full well everyone could hear her. “Those tights were quite the uniform!”

The women giggled, Dan pressed his lips into a tight line, and Steve had to bite his tongue to keep a straight face. The elder Underwood, for his part, was growing more and more upset.

“That man won them the war,” the elder Underwood grumbled.

“Impossible.” Steve turned to him, almost enjoying the part he was playing. “Hollywood smoke and mirrors. I was out there and I never saw him or that shield. Not once.”

Underwood pushed himself away from the table, his face growing red. “Did you really just insult Captain America in front of me?” He stood, leaning over Peggy and Steve with enough menace that Steve put his arm across Peggy, ready to move her behind him if the man became any more aggressive. “You come into my house and you say these things?”

Steve had been having fun with their plan to insult his alter ego, see if their hosts were sympathetic, showed any leanings to the Axis powers, but this hit home. He knew people had idolized him, and as much as that had made him uncomfortable, he understood how important it was to have a symbol of hope in such a bleak time.

Before Steve could reply and apologize the man stormed off. Dottie stood, stuttering an apology, and followed him into the house.

“Well, I for one am with you,” Dan said, raising his fork and diving back into his dinner. “Man was a fraud.”

Peggy grabbed Steve’s hand under the table and squeezed.

~*~

“What was that back there?” Dottie demanded in a hushed voice once she’d closed the door to Fennhoff’s room behind them.

“Distraction,” he said sharply, his accent becoming more pronounced. “You want distraction, you get distraction.”

Dottie huffed, crossing her arms. “And what am I supposed to tell them now?”

“That your father is a great patriot. That he needs his rest. You say whatever you say while I go pretend to be spy.” Fennhoff waved her away and opened the window in his room, grumbling about how he was supposed to slip out. “Lock the door.”

~*~

Steve stood as Dottie joined them back at the table. “I should go apologize.”

“No, no,” Dottie shooed him back to his seat. “My father gets grumpy sometimes. He just needed to take his pills and lay down for a spell.” She sat herself back down and laid her napkin on her lap with deliberate flair. “It’ll all be forgotten after a quick nap, I promise.”

“Still, I’d feel better if I could,” Steve reluctantly sat, rearranging his own napkin.

“I’m sure he’ll be back out in a bit.” She smiled widely, a motion that did not reach her eyes. “He just never misses dessert!”

~*~

Anyone fluent in Russian would have been scandalized at the string of words coming from Fennhoff’s lips as he snuck into the back of the Harper home.

“Don’t even lock their doors,” Fennhoff mumbled as he slipped in their back door. He moved carefully through the dark kitchen, futilely opening and closing cabinets. He did not expect to find anything in the home of that vapid man who didn’t believe Captain America was real.

He’d seen the damage that man could do with his own eyes. Anyone who believed Captain America hadn’t won the war for the Allied forces was either dimwitted, a fool, or both.

He tried to stay quiet as he moved through the house, but there wasn’t much light and even less to see that was interesting. The house was only sparsely decorated with few, if any, places to hide things. He made his rounds quickly, opening and closing closets and doors and saw nothing that would make him think these people were anything other than what they said they were: boring American suburbanites.

He stopped on his way out and opened the small broom closet he’d neglected on the way in, sighing when there was nothing more than a broom, mop, and bucket there.

“Dumb woman spy,” he mumbled, letting himself out quietly.

~*~

“Next time we’ll have you over,” Peggy said, holding both of Dottie’s hands at the door. “Dinner was simply marvelous.”

“Oh, shucks,” Dottie took one hand to bat the compliment away. “It was so lovely to get to know you and welcome you to the neighborhood.”

The corner of Steve’s mouth crooked up sadly. “Please give my apologies to your father.”

“No need,” she reached out, stroking Steve’s shoulder in a motion that was just slightly more than neighborly. “He’s a stubborn old man and you are a great war hero, Mr. Harper. You’re allowed a difference of opinion, especially since you were there.”

“All the same,” Steve stepped back out of her reach, taking Peggy’s hand and moving away. He felt like if he didn’t escape, they’d be exchanging pleasantries all night. “Have a great night.”

“You too!” Dottie called, watching from the door as they turned.

Steve pressed his hand to Peggy’s back, pushing her down the pavement just a little faster. “She’s still watching,” he mumbled. “Gosh, such lovely neighbors around here, don’t you think, honey?” he let his voice drift louder.

“Absolutely, darling. I’m so excited to get to know them all. Maybe join the Women’s Auxiliary.” Peggy leaned closer to Steve, her voice lower now, “Is she still watching? My face hurts from smiling.”

“Few more feet, dear,” he whispered. He leaned down, “I think Dan and Laura are out there now,” he pointed to his ear, signaling he could hear them talking, “Want to give them a show?”

Peggy raised her eyebrow, the false suburban smile she’d been sporting morphing into a smirk he was much more used to seeing on her face. “Show?”

He led her up the steps, stopping to dig the keys out of his pocket. Once he did, he reached out and unlocked the door, pushing it open. Before she could step in, he swept her off her feet, carrying her like she was a brand-new bride. Peggy squeaked, grabbing on to his shoulders more out of surprise than fear that he would drop her on the front porch.

She laughed. “This is what you had in mind?”

He leaned forward, kissing her gently. “Gotta sell that newlywed cover,” he whispered against her lips. “They watching?”

Peggy shifted her head as he turned them a bit, his lips on hers again. Peggy squinted, making it look like her eyes were closed. She didn’t normally like to do double duty while Steve was kissing her, but he managed to avoid distracting her too badly. She could see the Smythe’s and Dottie on the porch, eyes glues to them. From the window, the elder Underwood peaked out. Peggy dragged her lips away. “All watching. And slightly scandalized.”

“They’ll be very scandalized in a minute,” he mumbled, kissing down her neck.

Peggy hit him playfully in the shoulder. “Barbarian!” She laughed as he growled in her ear. “Inside at once!” She kicked a bit as he straightened up, laughing as he bounced her in his arms. Steve made a show of almost losing his balance and nearly dropping her as he stepped over the threshold for their audience. For good measure he kicked the door closed, wishing he could see all of their faces.

He’d absolutely go back and check the surveillance tapes just to see what they looked like.

He turned, putting Peggy down and pressing her up against the door, letting his lips meet hers again. “That was fun.”

She hummed happily, but pushed him away. “Quite, but we still have work to do.” She moved past him, then stopped as she flipped on the light. She held out her hand, then pointed. “And you made fun of me for vacuuming us out before we left.”

“You were wearing pearls and an evening dress.” Steve pointed out, bending low to look at the fresh footprints that showed against the new, freshly cleaned nap of the carpet. “What do you think?”

“Man’s shoe, fairly large.” Peggy moved around, following the path. “Came from the kitchen, so… in through the back door.”

“Looks like he took a peek in each room,” Steve added, opening the doors and following the trail, “then back through the kitchen to go out.”

“You think they found…” Peggy started, but didn’t finish, following Steve into the kitchen and watching as he opened the closet door.

“Doubt it, everything’s exactly as I left it, including that little bit of flour by the wall.” He smiled up at her, trying to show off the tricks he’d slowly been learning from her since they’d been working together stateside. He warmed at bit at her smile, then moved the mop, broom, and bucket. With a firm push to one side of the back wall, it spun, sweeping the flour on the floor into a wide, tell-tale circle and revealing that the closet was actually three times the size, hiding a small bank of monitors and recording equipment. “Shall we?”

They both slipped in the small space, Steve on the stool he occupied for most of the day while surveilling, Peggy peering over his shoulder as he found the reel trained on their back door and rolled it back. It was fuzzy in the darkness, but the figure creeping through their rosebushes seemed quite familiar. “Is that Underwood?” Peggy asked, waiting for Steve to roll the tape back and forth until they had a fairly clear picture.

“Looks like it,” Steve mumbled, marking down the time and reel for future reference. “What do you think he’s looking for?”

“Same as we are,” Peggy said quietly, slipping from the closet to lean on the door jamb. “If they’re in hiding, they’re looking out for anyone wanting to find them.”

Steve reloaded some of the reels, marking others and setting the film aside to review tomorrow. Peggy watched him work, smiling as he rolled up his sleeves, concentration fully on his task. She leaned on the doorway, slipping off her heels and content to just be for the moment. Steve slipped out of the hidden space, pushing the fake wall back in place and sweeping the flour back into an indistinguishable line along the bottom of the wall.

“Do you think it will be like this?” Peggy mused, watching as he ran a damp cloth along the visible floor of the closet, hiding the existence of the flour even further to sell their ruse.

“Do I think what will be like what?” Steve asked, standing and laying the wet dishcloth over the back of a chair to dry.

Peggy bounced over to him on her toes, hands holding her heels behind her back, hips swaying and swinging her skirt around her in a manner that was much more carefree than Steve had seen her in a long time. “Do you think our marriage will be like this? Domestic bliss and snogging against the front door one minute and international espionage the next?”

Steve tilted his head, his forehead creasing in thought as he wrapped his arms around her. “You know, it probably will. Though I’d like to say we’ll need much less surveillance at our house.”

“Our house…” she mused, smiling widely. “Kind of thrilling, isn’t it?” Peggy wrapped her arms around him with a sly smile, heels still dangling from her fingers.

His brows knit together for just a brief moment, the concern replaced by amusement on his face. “I don’t think life with you will ever be boring, dear.” He leaned down, kissing her gently.

Peggy leaned back, eyes still closed, a smile on her lips. She blinked her eyes open, half lidded and dreamy. “What say you to pushing the beds together tonight, Mr. Harper?”

He kissed her again, nipping at her bottom lip. “Sounds like an excellent idea to me.” Without warning, Steve bent his knees, grabbing behind her thighs and lifting her up.

She wrapped her legs around his hips, a sly smile on her face. “You enjoy showing off like that, don’t you?”

“For you?” His smile lit up his face. “Absolutely.”

Her face went blank, her eyes darting around the room as if people were there that might overhear her. “Small confession.” She leaned close to him, eyes sincere. “If, tomorrow, you woke up and were that 98 pound asthmatic man I first met, I’d love you all the same. But, and I’ll deny this until the day I die to anyone else,” her eyes grew mischievous, “I like it when you show off very much. Please don’t ever stop.”

He laughed, full and hearty, as he started to move toward the bedroom. Peggy bounced her heel off his lower back, trying to turn him like a horse. “Ah! Back, soldier. We’ve got doors to lock!”

Steve laughed, turning back and shifting her to his hip so he could see and secure the house without having to put her down. “Yes, ma’am!”

~*~

“They are not spies,” Fennhoff insisted, pushing past Dottie.

She shook her head, closing the cabinet door with more force than necessary. The kitchen was still in a state from the dinner party and as usual she was left to clean everything up. “I’m telling you, you’re wrong. You just didn’t know where to look.”

The man grumbled and disappeared down the hall, the sound of his bedroom door slamming and locking echoing through the house.

~*~

The morning sun was bright coming through the front room’s picture window. Steve squinted as he stepped up behind Peggy, wrapping one arm around her waist as his other hand wound around her to offer her the cup of tea he held. “A little sunny, isn’t it?”

She hummed in agreement as she took and sipped her tea, her eyes never leaving the street where they were staring intently. “See that tabby?”

He followed her line of sight, things clearer as he got used to the brightness, to the small grey cat bouncing up and down the curb across the street outside of Dottie’s house. “I mean, it’s cute, but I don’t think right now is the best time to get a pet, Betty.” A soft humor infused his voice, knowing that Peggy’s plans were far past pets as she stayed intent on the creature.

“Hum, maybe not. But nevertheless, it’s been in and out of our yard, too, and I’ve noticed it doesn’t have a collar.” She let her free hand run over the arm around her waist. “What’s the range on those bugs Howard gave us?”

“With a direct line of sight, 100 yards.” He shrugged, thinking. “Obscured? Maybe 50. Could be more or less depending on what’s between us and it.” He buried his nose in her hair, inhaling her soft scent before pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. “You have a plan.”

She turned and smiled at him. “I have a plan.”

~*~

It started with a small saucer of milk late that morning. Peggy left it on the front stoop and spent a little while just sitting outside next to it, waving at neighbors and smiling. “You haven’t seen that little grey tabby, have you?” she would ask each passing person, concern all over her face, “I got a glimpse of him this morning and I could have sworn he was limping!”

By the afternoon, Steve was trying very hard to keep a straight face as he helped her “search” for the cat in their yard.

Just before dinner, Peggy palmed the small listening device, a thin disk that was barely the size of a quarter, and headed across the street, making tiny whispering and clicking noises, eyes, wide and sad.

Laura Smythe popped her head out of her kitchen window as Peggy knelt next to the storm drain between their house and Dottie’s. “Betty? Are you ok?”

“Oh, fine, Laura!” She stood and waved, her face tight. “I just could have sworn I saw that little grey stray cat and it was limping. I just want to make sure the poor thing is okay.” She huffed and stood, straightening her skirt. “Have you seen him?”

Laura shook her head. “Not since yesterday.” She smiled at Peggy. “So sweet of you to want to try to help him.”

“Well thanks, I—oh!” Peggy turned, eyes set on Dottie’s front yard. With a fake wobble in her heels, she was more adept in running in them than she’d like everyone to know, she darted towards the azalea bush and stopped short. She smiled back at Laura, “I think I’ve got him!” With a smile that had nothing to do with a cat, Peggy pushed her way into the bush and along the front side of the house. She made some noise, swished the plant a few times, and smiled to herself. It was going perfectly.

Dottie was on her porch before Peggy could even catch her breath from the run over, voice loud. “Goodness, Betty, what are you doing?” She demanded, incensed.

Peggy stood, using the ledge of the window to haul herself up and the exaggerated surprise she feigned to hide how she set the small bug in the corner of the sill and the window. “Oh! Dottie I hope I didn’t startle you!”

Dottie, less neighborly than yesterday, started at her. “You did, Betty. Why are you in my bushes?”

Peggy dropped her head, shaking it sadly. “Oh, I just saw that poor neighborhood cat limping this morning and I’ve been trying to get my hands on him and see if he was ok. I could have sworn I saw him over here!” Peggy looked around herself, as if she was just noticing what a mess she made. “Oh, goodness, what have I done? I just don’t think sometimes!”

Dottie couldn’t hide the suspicion on her face, but stepped down and offered Peggy her hand. “Let me help you out.”

“Oh, I am so sorry! Your beautiful flowers!” Peggy brushed the leaves and petals from her dress and gestured towards the slightly rumpled bush. “I’ll pay for any damages, I am so, so very sorry.”

“No need,” Dottie said coolly, her smile never reaching her eyes. “I never liked that one anyway.”

~*~

Steve was still laughing when she made her way back into the house. She rolled her eyes, but couldn’t deny that it must have looked a sight. “You almost done?” She crossed her arms, trying to hide her smile as she leaned against the counter.

He was still catching his breath as he emerged from his small control center in the broom closet, hand pressed to his chest. “Oh… oh that was priceless.”

She eyed him as he moved closer, leaning his hands on the counter on either side of her and looming with a bright smile on his face. Peggy rested her hand on his shoulders, enjoying the closeness. “Yes, but did it work?”

He nodded, reaching up with one hand and picking leaves and petals from her hair. He picked the last one and held the pink petal up for her to see. “It did. Not the clearest sound, but good enough.” He kissed her quickly, a peck full of pride and happiness. “You’re brilliant.”

“Why, thank you,” she replied happily, lifting up on her toes for another brief kiss before she ducked away under his arm. “Then you’re making dinner. I’m simply exhausted from looking for that cat all day!”

~*~

The chatter from the Underwood residence was tinny and quiet, but there wasn’t much to expect from the small transmitter. It did its job and Steve and Peggy could hear clear enough the woman and her father bickering in half sentences. Anytime they were in the back of the house they were out of range, but the front room and kitchen came in clear enough.

“They know they’re being monitored,” Peggy sighed, pulling off her headphones. Dottie’s tone had been harsh and clipped, and more than once her “father” had stopped short mid-sentence, either because he didn’t want to keep talking or because Dottie wanted him stopped.

Steve pulled off his own headphones and leaned back. He tried to stretch but his arms hit the wall of the small closet. “You’re right. They’re far too close lipped.”

“And the language is not nearly familiar enough to be father and daughter,” Peggy muttered, scooting to the side and leaning back onto Steve’s shoulder. His arm would around her immediately, stroking over her upper arm. “I’m not sold that they’re who we’re looking for, but I know they’re not who they say they are.”

Steve tipped his head into hers, cuddling close for a second. “What do you think? Time to turn in?”

She nodded against him “They’ll still be there tomorrow, I suppose.”

~*~

Peggy snuck out of her bed, tiptoeing as she picked up her robe and slippers, trying to avoid waking Steve in the middle of the night.

“Peg?” he murmured, turning.

She stopped, shifting her load to one hand to push his hair out of his eyes with the other as she bent by his bed. “Can’t sleep. Just getting some water.”

He hummed as her fingers moved over his cheek, catching her hand in his and turning his head to kiss her palm. “Don’t be long. You need to rest.”

She smiled as his eyes fluttered closed, sleep already pulling him back. “I’ll do my best, darling.”

Peggy slipped through the bedroom door, closing it behind her before wrapping herself in the robe and putting the slippers on her feet. There was a chill in the air, enough to make her wrap her arms around herself as she moved through the living room and to the kitchen.

She didn’t bother with the lights, the moonlight through the windows was enough to see by. She’d been lying in bed for hours, her mind running over scenarios of who the mysterious “father” and “daughter” team across the street could really be. She quietly opened the refrigerator, pulling out the orange juice. She filled the first glass she found and slipped the bottle back, sitting at the table in the darkness. She’d been expecting to find a man named Fennhoff masquerading as a widower. They didn’t know much about him, never mind what he looked like, but the presence of Dottie was baffling to her. The woman was suspicious and sharp, and deep inside Peggy thought she was smarter than she let on.

Peggy sipped her juice, not really wanting it but needing something to do with her hands. She thought about slipping back into the little closet, reviewing the tapes for the night, but decided against it. She needed to shut off her mind, quiet it, not rile it up. She needed rest so she could figure out what their next step would be. Steve was good, and getting better every day, but his real expertise was on the battlefield, not as a spy, and he still deferred to her in almost all matters for missions. She needed to be ready with a new plan by the time the alarm clock went off in the morning.

She wasn’t sure how long she was sitting in the dark, letting her mind wander, before she heard it: soft, crunching footsteps in the backyard. She lifted her glass and slowly made her way to behind the counter, crouched low and waiting. She didn’t have much of an advantage, but the juice would at least sting enough to give her the element of surprise.

Peggy steeled herself as she heard the doorknob slowly turn, the person jiggling it gently to confirm the lock was thrown. She slowed her breathing, mind clear and ready for anything as she heard the soft click of lock picks and the tumblers moving in place. The door opened almost silently, a small figure slipping in based on the shadow Peggy could see along the wall.

The person slipped in, looking quietly around the room. Peggy held her breath, waiting as the footsteps got closer, waiting for the person to be just close enough.

Without thought she stood, tossing the juice towards the intruder.

Dottie Underwood screeched as the acidic juice burned her eyes, stumbling back.

Peggy pressed forward, pushing her against the cabinets with both hands. She knew the rattle was loud enough to wake Steve and that he’d be there to back her up any moment. “What are you doing here?”

Dottie, eyes red and blinking furiously, took only a second to choose between lying and the truth. Truth, though, didn’t quite come with words. Instead, she threw her head forward, connecting her forehead with Peggy’s with a sickening crack. Peggy stumbled back, but had the advantage of knowing exactly where everything was in the kitchen. She didn’t need to look to get the pan from the stove, sitting and waiting for breakfast to be cooked up in a few hours, and swing it around.

Dottie threw a hand up just in time to keep the pan from connecting with her skull, and grabbed Peggy’s arm with her free one, grappling and forcing her to drop the pan with a clatter.

“Who are you?” Peggy ground out between her teeth, grabbing a fistful of hair and using that to hold Dottie in her frame of vision.

Dottie countered with a leg sweep, sending Peggy toppling over and off her feet. Peggy didn’t let go, though, and Dottie went down with her, landing them both between the island and the counter. “Just a concerned neighbor,” Dottie managed to huff out, pushing with her legs to try to get the upper hand and roll on top of Peggy. “Thought I saw a robber.”

“How kind,” Peggy grunted, managing to get her hand on a corner of the cabinet and use the leverage to get a leg out so she could knee the woman in the chest. Dottie lost her breath, leaving room for Peggy to pounce once again as she stumbled to stand and move away from her. Peggy started to move towards her again just as Steve rushed through the door of the kitchen, eyes wide and in nothing more than his pajama pants.

Steve’s arrival somewhat stymied Dottie. She paused, still trying to catch her breath, with Peggy huffing beside her. Steve looked between the two women and Peggy stared at him, disbelief in her eyes. “Her, please!”

Steve snatched Dottie around the waist and lifted her off her feet, keeping his head away from her flailing arms as she struggled. Peggy pulled the tie from her robe, using it to secure her hands behind her back once Steve had set her in one of the kitchen chairs.

“Still plan on sticking to your story,” Peggy huffed, sitting across from her as Steve stood guard, “or are you going to tell us what we need to know?”

Dottie smiled like a shark, her red, tearing eyes fighting the visual she wanted to present. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Peggy and Steve shared a look, and without a word he slipped out of the kitchen, headed back to the bedroom.

Dottie watched as he returned only moments later with a shirt and shoes to go with the pants, and a very brightly painted shield on his arm. He stepped in the kitchen and handed Peggy her gun before he disappeared out the front door.

Dottie winced; her eyes painful. “Betty, is it? Are you two even married?”

“Does it matter?” Peggy asked pragmatically, rounding the woman and checking her bindings. “I think what matters here is that you’re hiding something and I’d very much like to know what it is.”

“Do you have twin beds? Or just one big bed?” Dottie asked dreamily. “If I could have that in my bed…” she hummed, the salacious tone somewhat ineffective when combined with her sniffles.

“Are you here on behalf of Hydra?” Peggy asked, picking up a towel and mopping the orange juice from the floor.

Dottie continued rambling. “I mean, that’s one hundred percent American beefcake right there. USDA Prime. And strong.” She sighed happily. “When he picked me up… mmm mmm mmm.”

Peggy rolled her eyes behind the woman, picking the pan from the floor. “What about that man you’re with?”

“Oh, he’s about to have his day ruined.” Dottie laughed manically. “You see, when that Greek God of a man of yours riled him up about Captain America, he wasn’t lying. He gets riled up. Mostly because he hates him so much.” She laughed again. “When he wakes up and sees that shield over him… oh, he might just have a heart attack.”

Peggy checked the robe tie as she passed again, knowing it was hardly enough to secure someone who knew what they were doing before she opened the broom closet and pushed out the fake wall. “Last chance to give me anything before I throw you to the wolves.”

Dottie just sat, head held high, eyes still watering.

“Have it your way.” Peggy reached in and pulled out a beacon, tapping it twice. “The cavalry will be here shortly.”

~*~

Steve didn’t exactly feel fantastic about waking the old man up, but when he started cursing in Russian at him and pulled a gun from under his pillow, Steve reassessed his position.

He still felt bad when he had to knock him out though.

~*~

Peggy stood at the doorway, watching the rest of the SSR team pack the surveillance equipment away and hurry the rented furniture back in the truck as the forensics team was going over Dottie’s house. Dottie was safely in custody and Peggy would be interrogating her tomorrow at the SSR when everything was back to normal. It had been only four days since they moved in, but Peggy could admit, at least to herself, that she’d enjoyed playing house.

Steve came up behind her, his hands still at his sides rather than at her hips. They’d set clear ground rules when it came to the office and the SSR, and that meant no touching in front of co-workers. The absence of his hands when he was so close was causing the hairs on her arms to stand at attention. “What do you think about suburbia?” she questioned lightly, though it weighed heavily on her mind.

“Well, when there aren’t sleeper Hydra Agents hiding in it, it seems pleasant enough to me.” He shrugged, leaning on the doorjamb to look at her. “I grew up in the city, but I’m not attached to that as some idyllic idea of what life should be. Might be nice to have a little garden, some grass to cut, a front yard to build a snowman in and rake leaves…”

Peggy jutted her chin out the to Smythe house, where, like everyone else on the street, Dan and Laura were looking out the window, trying to get every bit of gossip they could. “Neighbors being neighborly.”

Steve dropped his voice. “I think we’d do well in someplace like this.”

Peggy smiled up at him before turning back to the men in the yard. “Agreed.”

“It should be bigger, though, to make room for the kids.” He nudged her with his elbow, a smile threatening to break out on his face. “Four, at least.”

Peggy raised her eyebrows at him. “Two.”

“Only two?” He asked, partially teasing and partially actually let down.

Peggy turned so the men in the yard couldn’t see or hear what she was saying. “Will you be popping them out then? Because until you are, I think the person actually carrying the children should have her opinion weighed slightly more.”

He nodded, eyebrows together tightly. “Point taken.”

She stepped closer, nudging him with her shoulder. “Perhaps we start with one, and see how we do, hum?” She pushed past him, the bump intentional and flirty. “Besides, I’m still waiting on that ring.”

Steve smiled out at the front yard, shoving his hands in his pockets. Good thing the ring was sitting back in his apartment in the top drawer of his dresser. Seeing as this little test run had gone well, maybe he’d pop the question sooner rather than later.

Domestic bliss and international espionage… Steve couldn’t think of anything he’d like more.

#steggy secret santa #Steggy Bingo Bash #superhero-daugthers11 #Steggy Fic #3P's Fic

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