#but I try not to be the person getting nasty about it... but I don't like it

[morallygreychaoticneutral]

Astarion doesn't ask for affection because he can't..... yet.

Ah, more tea steeping in this seeming endless sea of thoughts. This brew is a bit strong on the heart. Read with caution.

Warning for game spoilers and talk of abuse.

This perspective is from game content only. How anybody cannons their relationships or behaviors is perfectly right. No blame, no shame, it's your game.

I was always miffed at the lack of initiated affection from Astarion as a partner. YOU ask him for a kiss. YOU ask him for a hug. YOU ask him to tell you thank you after being an amazing partner and killing a massive beastie just for him! Brat...

But then I had a sudden realization. Given his past, affection is probably insanely hard to ask for. Like it can be for a lot of us.

Stay awhile and listen. (nerd)

Now when I speak of narcissistic abuse I am only speaking from what I know about it. I have no academic or phycology degree on the matter. Just good ol' tossed in the pond and forced to sink or swim experience.

Astarion spent 200 years under the crushing weight of narcissistic / psychopathic abuse. One of the things these types of abusers love to do is take what you love and make you hate it and then make you hate yourself for ever having liked it to begin with. All very nasty business that. But it's one of the main corner stones for the cage they build to control you.

They make you feel as if the request of a simple hug is the most pathetic thing you could ask for. Or the most selfish thing as it inconveniences them. They don't want it, why should they give it to you?

Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue..

200 years with a master who used him like a tool. 200 years with siblings that fought amongst each other so much comfort was a liability. Nights coming home assaulted only to be mocked for your tears. Insulted for your need of comfort.

"Pathetic! Weak! Disgusting! "

Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue..

Affection was nowhere to be found there, I assure you.

And for a Narc. anything given is expected to be "earned" in any way they see fit. And if you were "rewarded" with anything, it comes at high price.

And how dare you not find it fair. You ingrate!

Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue..

Hugs are pathetic. Kisses are an intrusion. Or they become gateways to other unwanted behaviors. To be held...what are you? A baby? The only way you are going to get held, is down.

Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue.. The pattern continues.

But you ask HIM for a kiss. And he says..

"There is nothing I'd like more."

And he means it.

I'd bet a mountain of gold he wants to just ask you himself. But years of conditioning to expect pain when seeking pleasure probably keeps him in a choke hold. Like rats that are shocked every time they try to eat food out of a dish. They learn it is safer to starve.

"I want to ask Tav for a kiss or a hug, but they might think i'm weak. But if they ask me first then it's them who wants it and they can't degrade me for it because they asked, not me. It's safe then."

"I want to ask Tav for a kiss or hug, but they might reject me for being too needy and shame and berate me for being so selfish or demanding of their time and person. But if they ask they have time and want me to kiss/hug them."

"I want to ask Tav for a kiss or a hug, but my primal brain keeps telling me they might demand more than I want to give in return for it. But if they ask, I have the power of negotiating the outcome."

This leads me to believe he would view sex and affection very differently as well.

Where most find affection safe and nurturing, it's anxiety educing and unsafe. It means there are feelings and if there are feelings there is the risk and fear of rejection or judgment. It's much scarier.

Where most find sex to be connecting and intimate, it's been used so much it's lost any meaning. Something you can do a thousand times over and walk away the second it's done and feel nothing afterward.

This may even be a part of the reason why he wants to stop having sex.

He wants to connect with you in ways denied to him. He wants the experience of being courted, treasured, nurtured. It means so much more to him than sex. It is so much more connecting.

Feeling this way is wretched and lonely. The most basic instinct is to want to seek comfort in the arms of those who love us. But it's broken. The risk is too great.

And it's hard. Because you could be the sweetest most honorable Tav in the whole of Fearun. But after being fed poised apples one too many times, all apples appear poisonous regardless of if is true or not.

I have no doubt that this prickly elf soaks up every second of non sexual affection you give him. And truly is grateful for your patience while he slowly and carefully disarms the safety measures he put in place to survive. The fact that he even allowed you to touch him like that at all was a monumental act of trust. And why not? You are incredible after all.

I'm going to go ask my elf for a kiss now. And then cry in my cup.

[thatone16216]

Kwon Jae-Sung x fem!Larusso!reader

What happens when the cocky, bad-boy captain of the Cobra Kai team meets Daniel Larusso's daughter?

*Notes, since Kwon is actually 20 apparently(?) reader is going to be 18. So, technically a year older than the rest of the team, Kwon will also not try to make Robby jealous, Yoon can do that

I thought I would have no problem keeping my promise to focus on the Sekai Tekai rather than on guys, even though I'm not even officially competing. I'm here as a backup fighter in case of any injuries, but I knew that all my focus went out the window with the arrival of the Cobra Kai team.

One look at that dangerous smirk and messy hair, and I was smitten.

He turned toward me, flashing me a smirk and wink, and I'm so distracted that I don't even register the fact that Tory is standing next to him until my sister, Sam, elbows me in the ribs. I turn in her direction, and she frowns at me. "He's the enemy," she hisses.

"Well, 'the enemy' is hot," I hiss back. I feel a soft smack on my head and notice my dad giving me a look. He shakes his head, and I sigh, crossing my arms and turning back to face the announcer.

I have the feeling he's on the "forbidden to breathe the same air as me" list. Good thing I have never listened to that list once in my eighteen years of life.

As we file out, I lock eyes once more with the Cobra Captain, and this time return his smirk.

I have the feeling he's going to make this tournament interesting...

~~~~~

As we wait in the lobby to check in, Devon and I chat until she focuses on something over my shoulder. "Captain Cobra is coming this way," she observes. I turn, despite my better judgement, and lock eyes with him as he makes his way to where the two of us are standing, leaving the rest of his team to taunt mine.

"Hi," I say, watching him approach. I wonder briefly if he's always smirking, because that's what he appears to be doing right this second. "Hey," he says back. He stops in front of me. "You must be, [Name]." My eyes narrow suspiciously and he raises his hands in a surrender pose as he chuckles. "Relax, I'm not stalking you. You and Robby are all Tory talks about. I've seen a million pictures of you. It's nice to finally meet the person I've heard so much about."

I nod, raising a brow at him. "So, am I going to learn your name or am I still supposed to call you 'Captain Cobra'? It's kind of a mouthful if I'm being honest." His smirk seems to turn into a slightly real smile, as he laughs. "I'm Kwon. Kwon Jae-Sung. Future Sekai Tekai champion." I nod, acting impressed. "I see. And what makes you so sure?" I ask him teasingly. He straightens up, eyes holding a real sense of pride as he gives me a cocky, though fully real, smile.

"I'm the best fighter here. I know it, my team knows it, everybody knows it. I fight mean and dirty, giving me an edge over my opponents." I study him closely as he talks about how he's the best. He truly believes what he is saying, and I actually kind of believe him as well. Tori told me about Master Kim when she was training at Cobra Kai, and after meeting her during the fight at the dojo, I believe that her students are put through the damn ringer. He doesn't seem the type to follow directions easily, though. More the opposite.

Before I can keep the conversation going, Devon taps my shoulder. "Incoming, sister," she whispers. I nod, turning back to Kwon. "I have to go. I'm sorry. Good luck, though!" I say, holding out my hand for him to shake. Kwon takes it. "I look forward to seeing you fight," he says back to me. Before I can tell him I'm just a backup, he's gone back to his team.

"What did he want?" Sam asks as she approaches, leveling a nasty look in his direction. I shrug, watching he and his team walk away. "Just to introduce himself. I guess Tory talks about me a lot," I say. Sam scoffs. "He's just trying to get in your head. Don't let him," she says. I roll my eyes. "I'm not even competing, so I don't know why he'd be trying to get in my head," I observe, hoping my sister would understand how stupid she's being. Her next sentence tells me everything I need to know about her current mindset. "You're my sister, though, and the daughter of one of our senseis. If he's in your head, it's to use you to get to us," she explains as though I'm dumb. I sigh as I follow her to our room.

She's changed a lot over the past two years, but at the same time, she hasn't changed a bit.

~~~~~

I roll my eyes with the rest of my team as the captains are coddled and treated like kings while the rest of us just stand around and watch. I notice one of them checking out Robby and narrow my eyes. She better not even think about making a move on my best friend's boyfriend. She'll be lucky if I kill her before Tory does.

I notice Kwon smiling at me instead of the camera as the picture is taken. When Tory leaves, he walks over to me. "Hey," he greets. Before I can respond, my sister marches over and drags me away. "Don't talk to her!" She snaps. I give Kwon an apologetic wave as I leave, him flashing a small smile in return.

I briefly wonder if he ever frowns, because he seems like the type of person to always be smiling. Even when he's angry. I then wonder briefly how hot he is when he's angry.

~~~~~

"You're a dumbass, Robby," I sigh, watching the Cobra Kais celebrate getting a new room. Robby says nothing, only turning around and leaving, and the rest of the team follows him. As I turn to leave, I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I pull it out, seeing a text from an unknown number.

Unknown - It's Kwon. Tory gave me your number. I thought it would be easier to talk without getting interrupted this way.

I smile to myself, wondering if he actually enjoys talking to me.

[Name] - Yeah, this works. Especially because I've been told that you're only speaking with me to get in my head

Kwon - Well, you've figured me out. Tell me, is it working?

[Name] - Not really if I'm being honest. Besides, I'm just a backup anyway. If you want to get in anyone's head, it would be my sister's. She's team captain, after all

Kwon - It's hard to tell over text, but you seem disappointed.

I pause briefly reading that. Am I disappointed? I guess I am. Sam has always been the favorite. Even though I'm the oldest, I've never been the most behaved child. Especially not when I'd joined Cobra Kai behind my father's back. Sam has always been the perfect angel, and my parents, my father especially, have always shown their favoritism, even without realizing it. The captain's thing was no different, along with the team tryouts.

[Name] - if I'm being honest? a little

Kwon - If you want to talk, you could always come to my room tonight.

I pause, a smirk on my face as I text him back.

[Name] - this sounds suspiciously like a hookup offer?

Kwon - That wasn't really my intention.

I frown slightly in disappointment, hoping I didn't scare him off, when my phone buzzes again.

Kwon - I wouldn't object to it, though.

I laugh as I reply to him.

[Name] - I'll be there at 11:00. Keep it in your pants

~~~~~

Sneaking out was harder than I thought it would be. I feigned wanting to take a midnight stroll to get over my lack of sleep because my roommates were still up. Devon wouldn't judge me, given the fact that she realizes that a petty rivalry is stupid, but Sam would flip out and most likely tell our father if I snuck out to meet up with a boy. Especially the Cobra Kai captain.

I knock on the door, looking around wearily. I saw Robby walking around as well as I was leaving, and I prayed he didn't return too soon. As soon as Kwon opened the door, I stepped in, quickly closing it behind me. "Make yourself at home," he grumbles. I giggle. "I'm sorry, I just am trying to avoid my teammate who is also wandering around right this second." He laughs, and sits on one of the beds, while I set up camp on the other. I look at the mountain of pillows on his bed, noting that the bed I'm on has no pillows.

I smirk at them. "So, you like pillows?" I ask. He looks confused until he notices the mountain. "They're comfy," he defends. I laugh at him and lay on the bed, facing him on his. "Why'd you invite me here?" I question. He shrugs. "Just to talk. Why aren't you competing?" I shrug, turning away from him to look up at the ceiling. "I'm not good enough."

He scoffs. "I don't believe that." I shrug again. "It's true. I'm not good enough in my father's eyes, and neither is my brother. Sam is the golden child. That's why she's captain. She would have been captain whether or not Tory stayed on the team. I'm not competing because I had strep on the days of the tryouts for the team. As a consolation prize, I was allowed to come here as a replacement in case someone got hurt or sick." I roll my eyes. "It wouldn't have mattered anyway. When it comes to Sam, everyone seems to worship her. My parents only just started acknowledging my brother's existence, and for me, I've always been the sneaky disappointment."

I sit up, training my eyes outside the window. At Kwon's scoff of disbelief, I turn to him. "It's true. They're most disappointed in the fact that I had joined Cobra Kai, and that I chose to remain there during the 'Karate War'. I was there until Eli chose to leave, and I left too."

Kwon nods along to what I'm saying, and he's such a good listener that I find myself telling him even more of the story. "When I was in Cobra Kai, I was a different person. My dad had taught me and Sam Karate from a young age, but I liked the Cobra Kai style better. I thought the offense was more fun than the defense, and I started fighting that way. I also fought dirty. My dad also didn't like the amount of respect I had for his high school bully, so that was another reason he was disappointed in me. The biggest reason he was disappointed, though, was because I wasn't like Sam. I didn't follow hi directions mindlessly, I didn't make everyone's problems my business, and I, most importantly, didn't like the 'right guys'. The only guy I've ever dated was Eli, and that ended because we both knew that there was no way he'd ever be able to settle for anyone who wasn't Moon."

I stare at the city outside of Kwon's window, and I feel the bed move as he sits beside me. "I think that's stupid," he says. "You should be competing while you're here. Your entire team is training for this, yet you aren't able to even attempt to show people what you're made of. You should rejoin Cobra Kai. Master Kim would let you."

I laugh. "Thanks, but no thanks. I can't do that to my team, and I'd rather watch this tournament anyway. Besides, I can't cheer you on if I'm competing at the same time now, can I?"

~~~~~

The next morning, I quietly sneak back into the room. My sister is still asleep, but Devon comes out of the bathroom as I shut the door. "Where were you?" She asks. I glance over at my sister before pulling out my phone. I quickly type Kwon into a text before showing it to her. She raises a brow, and I quickly shake my head. "Not like that," I quickly reassure her. She laughs. "Relax. I was just going to say you're moving a little fast is all," she tells me. I smile at her before my sister stirring distracts us.

"Good morning, guys," she says, yawning. We return our good mornings as we begin to get ready for the day. As Sam gets in the shower, my phone buzzes. I smile as I read Kwon's text.

Kwon - We should get together again tonight.

Devon shoots me a look as I smile at the text. "Moving a little fast, are we?" she snarks. I stick my tongue out as I throw a pillow at her. "Shut up," I say. She laughs as she dodges the pillow. "Have him actually take you out today or something," she suggests. "I'll vouch for you." I nod. "Okay," I decide.

[Name] - How opposed are you to missing practice today?

Kwon - Depends on the reason?

[Name] - I'm bored. I don't want to watch my team practice

Kwon - I don't know. What's in it for me?

[Name] - Theres a beach we could spar on?

Kwon - 10:00?

[Name] - Sounds good

~~~~~

The first time we got together went so well that we've decided to do it every day. Early in the morning, we get together and train, whether it be a sparring session, jog, or weightlifting at a gym, we've been getting together regularly. Today, it's sparring on the beach again. Most days it only lasts about two hours, but today we both have the day off, so we'll be spending it together.

I adjust the workout clothes I'm wearing. I'm in shorts and a (tank/crop) top because I thought it would be warmer today, but right now, near the water, I'm freezing. I settled on my cutest outfit, mostly to impress Kwon. I hear a voice call out to me and I turn and smile as he approaches. "Ready?" he asks me. I nod, and he pulls off his jacket, revealing a rather tight compression shirt with his sweats. I try, and fail, not to stare too hard at the abs I see through the shirt.

As soon as we bow to each other, he runs at me, forcing me to block and dodge his attacks. I back away from him as he relentlessly moves forward, kicking and punching everywhere he could. As I defend, I watch his movements carefully. Every fighter has a flaw in their movements. It could be a past injury, a small habit they never trained away, or, in Kwon's case, a false sense of security. He keeps his arms lower than he should. Not by much, but enough for someone who knows what they're doing to pick up on it. He focuses his efforts more on throwing fast and powerful combinations than he does on his defenses, because he's confident in his speed. While his speed is impressive, he's still open to an attack.

I use this against him, dodging his next kick and aiming a punch at his exposed liver. I'm not going to actually hit it that hard, due to the fact that it can cause permanent damage, but I do hit it hard enough for him to stop. He falls to the ground, in pain and gasping for breath, and I quickly run over to him. "Are you okay?" I ask him, helping him sit up. He laughs, breathlessly. "Yeah, just winded."

The two of us sit and chat, watching the waves crash on the beach for the rest of the day. As night approaches, I shiver, getting slightly chilly. Kwon notices, wrapping his jacket around my shoulders and shifts closer to me, making me warmer. "So, should we consider this our first date?" Kwon asks as we watch the sun setting. I look at him and he's already looking at me. "We've barely known each other a week?" I respond. He shrugs, leaning back. "And?" He questions, staring up at me. I scoff. "We barely know anything about each other!" I protest, trying not to smile. He's squinting up at me and crinkling his nose while doing so, and I have to look away to avoid giving in.

"Tory would tell me about you and Robby all the time, and she showed me a lot of pictures of you. Everything you've told me, like your favorite color and favorite TV show, Tory has talked about. I know all of the surface level stuff about you, like the fact that you hate coconut and people have to hide M&M's from you because otherwise you won't stop eating them. You sounded so interesting that I couldn't not talk to you that first day here. After that, I couldn't stop thinking about you. Your sister accuses me of trying to get in your head, but I can't seem to get you out of mine."

The two of us are silent after his confession, until I finally get the courage to look him in the eyes. "If you promise to take me on a real first date tomorrow, no training involved, I might consider it," I say. His smile lights up his whole face. "Deal," he agrees.

~~~~~

I nod at Devon as I walk out the door, passing through the hall. I make it to the lobby, spotting Kwon waiting by the door. As he waves to me and I begin to walk over, a person steps into my path. I bump into Miguel, who looks at me, annoyance on his face. "Hey, [Name]," He greets. I nod at him. "Hey, Miguel." I try to step around him, but he starts talking to me. I lock eyes with Kwon, who taps his watch he's wearing. I shrug helplessly and Miguel launches into a rant about Robby being a horrible captain and how he's always so distracted. I nod along, impatiently before snapping.

"Why don't you just talk to him?" I finally huff. "Look, I'm late to meet someone, so I'll see you later." I quickly make my way out the door of the lobby before he can ask who I'm meeting.

I walk to Kwon, who's now waiting for me outside. "It's about time," he grumbles. I smile at his pout. "I was trying to leave, but he was complaining about his stepbrother," I say. He rolls his eyes. "He couldn't have complained farther away from you?" He asks, grabbing my hand. As he laces his fingers through mine, I smile up at him. "Aww, are you jealous?" I ask, starting to tease him. He frowns down at me and looks away, a blush staining his face red. "No," he mumbles. I giggle, letting him lead me away from the hotel.

~~~~~

We decided to go to the boardwalk, which is where we spent our day. We ate food, played games, and went on every ride at the park, and we were walking around again when I squealed and grabbed his hand. "Look at that panda!" I pull him closer to the game booth where there is a huge giant panda stuffed animal hanging from the top of it.

Kwon chuckles at my enthusiasm and pays the booth attendant. Kwon needs to knock down every clown on the little shelf to win the panda. On Kwon's first try, he knocked down ten of them. He played again and knocked down eleven. The third time, he also got eleven, despite hitting the clown dead center. Just as I'm about to tell Kwon it's a scam and to just leave, he pays again, and this time whips the ball so hard at that clown that it finally does fall over. He turns to the booth attendant. "Panda. Now." The guy does as he's told and hand's me the giant panda. I smile up at Kwon as he looks down at me. He looks like he wants to say something but gets distracted as he looks up. "The only thing we haven't done yet is the Ferris Wheel," he says.

I take his hand. "Then let's go!"

As we pay and get on the ride, we stare out over the city. I shiver as we get closer to the top, because the cold air hit me. Kwon chuckles, draping his jacket over me again. "At this rate, I should just let you keep it," he says. As I laugh and face him, he stares at me. "It looks even better on you than it does on me," he notes. I feel the blush on my cheeks, despite the chilly air, as his face gets closer. As his breath hits my cheeks, I feel my eyes flutter shut and I lean forward to close the distance.

He kisses me, softly at first, but slowly turning hotter and more passionate as it continues. My hands slide into his hair, just as soft as I'd imagined it'd be, as he pulls me closer by my waist. The fact that we're on the Ferris Wheel becomes forgotten until we reach the bottom, and the ride operator clears his throat.

The two of us get off the ride, me embarrassed and Kwon satisfied, and begin to walk back to the hotel. I'm clutching my gigantic panda on my right side and Kwon's hand on my left side, and as he swings our arms back and forth and twirls me around in the moonlight, I silently wish this moment would last forever.

Neither of us knew how late it was as we walked back into the hotel, but since we were greeted by my angry father and sister, and one very confused Johnny Lawrence, I would assume it was very late.

"Where have you been?" Dad begins to question. I shrug sheepishly. "The boardwalk?" I answer. Dad holds up his phone. "Do you have any idea what time it is? Why didn't you answer your phone?" He asks. I look at my phone and wouldn't you know? Fifteen missed calls and over one hundred unread messages. "Oops. My phone was on silent, not vibrate. That's my bad."

Dad begins to get angry, when Sam opens her mouth. "Why were you with him? You know he's our enemy!" She glares at Kwon, who until this point has been standing silently beside me. It's now that my dad seems to fully register who he is and, more importantly, who's jacket I'm wearing.

"Is that a Cobra Kai jacket? And you went out, alone, on a date, with one of their Captains?" I nod, handing the bear to Kwon. "Yeah, and I had an excellent time. He's quite the gentleman, you know. Held doors for me, walked on the side of the sidewalk with traffic, you know, gentleman things." Dad stalks closer. "We're not talking about this here. Give him the jacket back and say goodbye. You're not allowed to speak with him." I stay put, crossing my arms. "That's not fair!" I exclaim. "Cobra Kai isn't your enemy, Kreese is. So why can't I just go on a date with a nice boy who just happens to be from that dojo? I mean, Tory willingly joined the dojo, and you are still being perfectly nice and civil to her! Kwon's just a normal teenager who had an opportunity to succeed and took it!"

"It goes against everything Miyagi-Do stands for," Dad says. I throw my hands up in frustration. "Miyagi-Do this! Miyagi-Do that! All you ever do is talk about Miyagi-Do! Sensei Lawrence tries to teach us something, you argue against it because it's not the "Miyagi-Do way". Do you know how ridiculous you sound? And I can't date a boy because he happens to attend a dojo run by the guy who taught your high school bully how to fight? No offense, Sensei Lawrence."

Johnny waves it off. "No big deal, kid. Listen Daniel, maybe she's got a point." Dad turns to him. "Does she? Does she have a point? Get back to me when your daughter goes on a date with a cocky asshole who is being taught by a monster, and you'll understand how I feel." Johnny steps closer. "Listen to me man, I was the cocky asshole. This guy, he's not it. You're letting your feelings about Kreese affect your judgement and you're making horrible decisions. Just let the girl go on a few dates and be happy. She's not competing anyway, which you already know how I feel about that, so what's the harm in letting her date the guy?"

Dad glares at all of us before taking a breath. "We'll talk about it in the morning. Go to bed." With that, he climbs upstairs and goes to his room. Johnny sighs and waves at all of us before following after him, leaving me, Sam, and Kwon alone.

"How could you do this to us?" Sam asks, tearfully. Footsteps sound and the rest of my friends appear in the lobby. "We heard yelling," Hawk says. Demetri nods. "I tried telling everyone it was none of our business, but you see how well that worked out." he gestures to the other Miyagi-Do students. Miguel wraps his arm around Sam. "She's right. How could you betray us like this?" He asks angrily. I open my mouth, but Kwon finally speaks. "Betray you? She hasn't done anything to betray you, although listening to you people speaking, it's a miracle for you guys she hasn't. She doesn't even get to train with you people. She was brought here as a backup, but instead of letting her be one, you flew another person in from the states instead. I offered her the chance to join Cobra Kai, and she declined, saying that she couldn't do that to you guys."

The whole team except Kenny and Devon glare at him as he speaks, and I roll my eyes. Kwon then glares back at all of them. "You all love Tory so much, even though she joined Cobra Kai. Your captain would still be dating her if she didn't break up with him, so why the hell is me dating [Name] such a horrible crime?"

My team doesn't have an answer, so Kwon just scoffs. "Pathetic, all of you. Let's go, [Name]." He gently takes my hand and pulls me to the stairs, leading me to his room.

"You can stay with me tonight," he says. "I'm sure I have a shirt that you can borrow." I smile gratefully at him, trying not to think about the betrayed faces of my friends and father.

When we get to the room, Kwon tosses me a shirt before grabbing a handful of clothes and walking to the bathroom. "I'm just going to shower really quick," he says. "Okay," I respond, scrolling through social media. I like one of Yasmine's selfies, noting that she looks like she's finally getting better from the breakup. I still can't believe Demetri cheated on her. She truly did care about him, and I could tell it hurt her a lot. I like a post on Aisha's Instagram as well as I change out of my dress/jumper and into the shirt. It's long enough that it fits like a dress, ending just past my thigh. Aisha seems to be doing well at her new school, and I'm really happy for her, even if I do miss her.

I get a phone call from my mom. I sigh before answering. "Hey, mom!" I say, cheerfully. She sighs. "I just got off the phone with your father," she says. I slump. Of course she did.

"Is he anything like the Cobra Kais were when they were in the Valley?" She asks. "No. Aside from being a little cocky, he's not aggressive without reason." Mom sighs in relief. "Then I don't think you really need to listen to your father on this one. I trust your judgement, and even if it only lasts through Barcelona, at least you'll have a time with him you'll enjoy." I smile widely at him as he comes into the room. "Thank you, Mom," I say, happily. She laughs. "Okay. I'll let you sleep now. Love you, bye." She hangs up on me.

Kwon flops onto the bed next to me, only wearing a pair of sweatpants. He wraps his arms around me as he nuzzles his face into my neck. I pet his hair as he sighs into me. "I'm sorry about your team," he mumbles. I shrug, glad he can't see my face. "It's okay. I'm not sure what I expected from them. I thought they'd be a little kinder to you, but whatever. You're only the first guy I've actually liked since my ex, and even then, I didn't like him nearly as much."

Kwon looks up at me with a smile. "Yeah?" He asks, leaning closer. "Yeah," I say, closing the gap. We share soft kisses throughout the night, mostly just staying up and talking, enjoying each other's company as we slowly drift off.

As I lay in bed, staring out the window, I savor the feeling of Kwon's arms around me, his breath warm on my neck as he sleeps. In this moment, I don't care about the tournament, what my team thinks, or what could happen tomorrow, all I care about it the boy wrapped around me, who listened to my friend talk about me and decided that he needed to meet me. The boy who won me a panda and kissed me on the Ferris Wheel.

The cocky little asshole who managed to steal my heart. Little bastard.

[faiell]

yapping about fics and commenting

sorry to yap but work is boring today and tumblr isn't blocked on my work computer LOL

ok it's abt that post where the writer friend stopped writing because they weren't getting the comments/kudos they wanted.

i'm like. an overeager fandom person. like i cannot get into a fandom without wanting to meet new people and make friends. i love yapping about whatever silly gay idiots i'm hyperfixating over. i'm all about community, and sharing the joy of fandom, and all that fun positive stuff.

i don't post my art for stats but like. that means nothing coming from me tbh. i get stats. i can't accurately predict what would happen if i stopped getting notes on my art, but i would probably keep drawing and keep posting, just maybe less confidently, and less often. i recognize that stats make it much easier and while it’s not my primary motivation, it definitely motivates me to keep posting.

and yet. for years, i never commented on fic. i think i left kudos? and i saw posts like this all the time about how writers were so sad they didn't get comments. and i would feel super guilty about it all the time. but i still wouldn't do it! it sounds stupid, but i would feel pressured. if i liked a fic a lot, it felt even more difficult to comment, because i thought i would have to somehow give back to the author everything that fic gave to me. i wanted to craft the perfect comment that could perfectly encapsulate everything a fic made me feel. and that was way too much pressure so i would just not say anything.

when i got into drarry, i started reading a shit ton of fic. and i still wouldn't comment. i left maybe... 2 or 3 comments, maybe, i think. i can't remember. but i had a lot to say and i WANTED the writers to hear that i had read it and liked it. i just... didn't comment! u know what i did instead? i just fucking straight up DM'd writers on discord and started gushing to them that i liked their fic. somehow i was confident enough to do that, but writing a comment still felt like too much pressure. ?? i don't understand it either, but in my head it felt like a writing assignment, but when I was in DMs it felt more like a conversation and so there wasn't any pressure to make it "good"? idk!! it's very weird.

then i wrote and posted my first complete fic. just a oneshot, nothing special, and i was like. UNREASONABLY nervous about posting it. like. i am a confident person, okay? i was going to make a burner AO3 account and post it under a different name so nobody would know it was me, and then never mention it to anyone except MAYBE super close friends. i got talked out of doing that (thanks i feel a bit silly about considering that now). and then i received my first comment on it, which was basically a two-liner where someone said they liked it and thanked me for writing it.

and i was like. ??...?????? ???????? ...??!!! because i felt like... uncontainable glee? i was freakishly happy. the amount of serotonin those two sentences gave me was definitely unnatural.

is that healthy? idk. will it continue? idk. LOL. i hope so? but idk, some people said it wears off if you write/post for a while. but whatever, the fact that one little comment like that could make my entire day blew my mind. tbh i thought writers were just exaggerating when they said stuff like that.

ever since then i started leaving comments! that shit's easy! like what was i overthinking for? i'm such a fucking tryhard! all i gotta say is that i liked it, and even the bare minimum can bring lots of joy to someone.

so basically what im trying to say is that negative reinforcement doesn't do shit!! it just makes people feel bad about themselves. that post is nasty for guilt-tripping readers like that, and i bet you it's going to have the opposite effect (or no effect tbh).

YAPPING FINISHED. for now.

[slxtni]

Imagine it's late at night. You're walking home from your best friends house. You're always a little paranoid, so only one earphone in. But you listen to nasty music like you do all the time.

It's calm until you notice the car behind you driving slower and right on your side the window rolls down. You can't see much, it's dark outside. There's a man inside the car, his mouth covered by a mask. You start to panic.

"hey pretty girl, wanna go for a ride?" You don't answer, you walk faster. Almost run at this point. But he catches up with you very quickly, unbothered. "You know you can't run from me." You try not to look at him and panickly start searching for your phone. Unfortunately, it's nowhere to be seen.

And just as you look up from your bag, the car has stopped and the man stands in front of you. You can't do or say anything, not even scream, as he grabs you and forces you into his car. The trunk is dark and tight and as trunk lid closes you gain your voice back. You start to scream and cry as the car starts to drive. But nobody can hear you. It's late at night and the neighbourhood is asleep. Nobody notices you.

You don't stop screaming, the whole time. Tears in your eyes. He took your bag away. Your phone isn't here and nobody can safe you. Well, to bad, you should've stayed at your friends house for the night.

As the car stops, your throat is dry and hurts from all the screaming. Your tears stopped, even as the man opens the lid and grabs you. He takes you with him in his house. You would've tried to run or fight, but there's no chance. You're way to weak.

"Everything is prepared for you" He says. And as you are forced to enter the house, you understand what he means. The basement is full of shelves with all the stuff you'd seen in the nasty porn you watched before. Dildos, lingery, chains. Your biggest nightmare. And he planned all of this for weeks.

The man holds you down on the table in the middle of the room. You're to shocked to do anything. And then, he starts his game. He pulls down your skirt and imiediently rubs on your clit. You try to scream, because it feels so - good.

You're scared as he puts his fingers inside your cunt. "You're already so wet for me little girl" he laughes. And you notice he's right. "Maybe i'll be gently with you for the first round". He groans. And then keeps fucking you with his cold fingers. In and out until you come on his fingers. It's almost embarassing, coming all over your kidnappers fingers in your tight pussy. But you can help it.

He makes you suck his dick. Puts it deep down your throat until you choke. But he doesn't care. He's so turned on and uses your face as his cumhole. He forces you to swallow the full load of his cum. Every single drop. "Good girl" he calls you.

Then he puts you on the table again, holding you down with his arm. Your cheek hurts as it is getting pushed on the table. You could cry, but you're so damn needy, aren't you? Your pussy is begging for the cock you just sucked. He pretends to be gentle and slow, going really slowly as he pushes the first inches into your dripping cunt. But then he thrusts into you. His full length and you can feel him so deep inside of you. It hurts so bad.

He is going faster and harder each time, groaning and moaning, calling you a good littel girl and his personal fuck toy. You can feel your insides clenching around him and you're so embarassed. What would anyone say if they saw you like that? So needy for the cum of your rapist inside your womb.

And as he moans louder and his thrusts get harder, you feel it. He empties his balls deep inside of you and you can't even think about the fact that you're not on birth control as you fall over the edge and come hard around his cock.

As you lay on the table, more than exhausted, he grins down on you. "I knew you would love me and my cock so deep inside of you. And this isn't the end. From now on, you're mine."

And he makes you his personal fuck toy, just like he told you, coming every day to fulfill his needs deep inside of you. Keeping you in his basement. And as time goes by, you don't even care anymore. You just think about getting fucked by your rapists cock all the time.

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.195 Uncle Luca's day out

So, uhhh ... We have a closet now. After seeing Less', our empty wall was looking extra empty. Once I told Sophia what I saw, it was a wrap. She ordered that thing so fast, and it arrived way too early this morning, but here we are. It's funny how this room is smaller than the last one, yet we never had so much storage space before. Fewer windows have advantages, I suppose.

Rosie is barking outside our window. Our dogs are always barking, especially when she is playing, but what catches my ear this time is another voice. I look out the window and see Alessia playing with her! This house is doing a number on all of us, I see. I love that she's not only getting along with our dogs but also seeking them out. I've said it a million times, and I'll say it once more: we're going to be alright.

The other night, when me and Sophia looked school information after trying to prep Desiree, we learned the school system is on winter break right now, so we have loads more time with her! I was so glad and relieved to find this out. I mean, if she had to go to school, we'd send her, but I felt like we were all unprepared for this next phase of life. It came around so fast! Now we have the time to prepare, and we get to have more fun together. With school out, four kids, and two deserving mothers, I decide to take the kids out and let the moms rest. Also during the school information quest, I stumbled upon the high school's events page. They host many events that the public can attend, and tonight there's a football contest. That sounded like a good event for the kids, but it wasn't until 5 p.m., so I made an impromptu agenda to kill time. We began our adventure early with breakfast in Oasis Springs.

We go to the steak house me and Sophia frequent, but I don't recognize the host this time. She must be new, but man, does she have an attitude. She acted like me bringing four kids to a restaurant at 9 a.m. is a personal affront to her. Maybe it is early, or maybe I'm just too flabbergasted by her outburst, but I don't know how to respond. It's for the best because I probably wouldn't be nice because I feel the spirit of "I got time" rising up in me again, heh. I need to get into the gym and hit a bag because it is clear I want to fight someone. I blame Alessia's sperm donor, Jace. We got all hyped up about fighting him and never did. Maybe that urge never left me. Anyway...

The cook had just walked in on her berating me and shook his head at her. If this happens a lot, why don't they fire her? It can't be good for business.

"Come on, man," he said to me. "We've got plenty of tables, and I have to walk that way, anyway."

That was so nice of him. We followed him to a table, and I told ol' Nasty Nelly to have a good day so the kids could hear, heh. Sure, it was sarcasm, but hopefully they haven't learned that concept yet. With any luck, they'll learn to return nastiness with kindness.

When we get to the table, we have a quick family meeting. Because it's their first time in public, and I am the lone adult, we discuss inside voices, manners, and general public behavior, aka, this is not a playground, aka do not embarrass me, heh. Breanna and Arvin want to play in the rain, so I let them go as long as they are quiet. Desiree and Lex stay with me. She colors the placemat, and he plays quietly with a toy.

When the food came, I collect the other two from outside, and we have a fairly decent time together with minimal incidents...

I'm not naïve enough to think we could go all day without someone acting up. But what I did not anticipate was it would be my child I'd have to call out. She kept farting and laughing about it. I didn't realize she was the culprit until Breanna had enough and screamed at her.

I told her no one else thinks it's funny. We're eating, and no one wants to smell that with food in our mouths, and she should apologize to the table. Her remorseful face almost broke me, and I wondered if I was too harsh. I knew I wasn't because I didn't yell, but I just hate seeing her sad. I stayed strong, though.

After breakfast, we still have several more hours before the event, so I take them to Copperdale so we'd already be in town. I remembered a park down the street from the pier, so we go there first. The weather is not conducive to playing in the park. A thick blanket of snow covers the ground, and it's still falling on top of being extremely cold. I should cancel our plans and go back home because I don't want anyone getting sick. But the kids scatter before I can stop them. Desi says she has to pee and goes to the bathroom. Breanna makes a beeline for the monkey bars, reminding me so much of her mother. Arvin also goes to the bathroom, which leaves Lex with me again. He's such a cool little dude with a chill temperament, like me. I noticed his outfit earlier, and he seems to care about his appearance more than the other two.

Some older gentlemen are out taking a stroll for some reason and come over to talk about the weather. Lex doesn't seem to mind, but I want him to have fun too, so I excuse myself to have some snow fun with him. We have a snowpal building contest with Bre.

We win by default because Bre quit when she saw Desi and Arvin talking outside the bathrooms. We're still proud of our victory, though.

It seems a shame to come all the way to Copperdale and be a stone's throw of the pier and not ride the rides, so I check on the kids to see how they're doing with the weather. It stopped snowing, so the visibility is better, but it's still freezing. Children have an uncanny knack for being impervious to the weather, however, so they all said they're fine to stay out. I tell them about the haunted house ride, and they're all very excited about it. I figure we'd do that one over the Ferris wheel so we can get inside for a bit.

Although I know the cars only have two seats, I still wish we can all go together. I want to ride with Desi, but who would stay and watch the other kids while we ride? She wants to go with Arvin anyway, and Lex wants to go with me. Breanna is a boss just like her mom, and she doesn't want to sit with anyone. By the time we all take our turns, it's about 5:30, so we head to the high school.

On the way, I explain how this will be their school when they become teenagers. There're all kinds of activities they can get into, like the football team, which is what we'll be doing today, cheerleading, chess club, computer club, and so much more. Realizing they have no frame of reference for school, however, we walk around the classroom building to warm up and see what it's all about. This isn't my alma mater, but a school is a school. They're all basically the same.

Bre got upset about Desi farting again. Just as I begin to express disappointment, I remember something from her infancy. She was gassy a lot and constantly had hiccups. And she belched a lot when we burped her after feedings. Could something still be going on with her stomach? Am I telling her to stop being nasty while she can't actually help it? I didn't say anything that time and decide to talk to her about it in the privacy of our home.

[triglycercule]

aaaaaah i love this so much,,,, granted i don't focus on the trio being w nightmare a lot (since the gang bad sanses thing IS NOT FOR ME!!! give me trio only or give me death) but QSAAAAAHHHH i love it so much when people play around with them in the bad sanses!!! i must say that the dynamic you described here where theyre like noooot that intimately close but also just like stick together because they gotta stick together with anyone that they can is PEAAAK (it's my favorite mtt in the bad sanses dynamic :3)

the trio truther in me says NOOOO to them breaking up afterwards but,,, the realist in me knows that they don't help each other They CANT help eachother (i always think about how even if they weren't in a bad situation they'd just stagnate each other or do worse,,, sadly these guys just cannot get better with each other. FIRST they have to love themselves (and deal with all their OTHER issues) before they can,,,, even mildly care for THEMSELVES???) (but maybe it'd kinda be like a service animal thing where by taking care of the pet you take care of yourself??? THIS IS A SEPERATE THING I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IN A DIFFERENT POST ACTUALLY NVM)

its so silly and funny that their way of "showing affection" is literally just them having eachothers backs,,,, ITS SO FUNNY TO ME,,,, AND SO CUTE TOO :333 for me personally i dont think they'd ever like. care enough,,,, about eachother to do stuff like taking the blame or just plain ol nights of comfort (they'd SLAUGHTER EACHOTHER before they ever decide to get cozy and fluffy in my head 💔💔) like with bad sanses esque killer i can get why killer would try to like,,, just BARELY keep dust and horror alive bc then nightmare gets what he wants or whatever but i just cant see either of the other 2 reviprocating the bare minimum of "affection" back (dust's grudge against killer would last until the earth's water evaporated and horror simply. would not have enough appreciation in his soul for that. probably wouldnt even get why killer's helping them smh.) PLUS they wouldn't be in a good enough mental space to even CONSIDER any sort of "affection" back with the whole ohhh shiiiit i got kidnapped and now have to do things I dont like!! + nightmare's aura preventing ANY sort of character development. horror n dust permanently keep waking up on the wrong side of the bed in the castle. killer is only immune because bro is just THAT numb (AND EITHER WAY EVEN IF THE TRIO WERE TAKEN OUT OF THE CASTLE DUST AND HORROR WOULDN'T JUST RANDOMLY BE 10X NICER,,, their capacity for niceness wouldn't go up just that the mood swings and pissiness would go down. and when the 2 arent like going through a manic burst or a furious moment theyre preeeetty damn apathetic and non caring. TO ME)

in a non bad sanses context for me i think it would be more interesting if they just like,,,, made comments to each other that are seemingly insignificant but are actually pretty insightful for the one being told so. because they might not have self reflection (because ohhh nooo pain hurty hurty being confronted with my wrongdoings SUCKS) but they have like. INVERSE self reflection on others. it could be the most barebones thing like horror saying that dust smells like shit after not showering due to lethargy and then that's a reminder to shower for him (sometimes that small reminder is all it takes want to do something youve been putting off) or like killer making an observation about how it's weird that horror doesn't eat that bunch and that he knows that people need to EAT to survive (it doesnt do much for horror since he's got that starvation mentality ENGRAINED in him but build that up and you've got a pretty nasty argument between horrorkiller. resulting in probably a nasty remark from killer about horror's ED that makes him want to start taking progress to recovery JUUUST to spite killer). and of course they probably have to take care of each other when one gets injured or nearly DIES because esuaghhh as much as they HATE to admit it theyve kinda gotten ever so slightly attached to the other 2,,, in killer's case it's intrigue but dont be fooled by s2's LIES (ok STAGE ONE gtfo of my brain dude. stage 2 is COOL)

and i DID in fact see that post you made about the "dust and horror trying to help killer with emotions or whatever and then killer feels emotions and goddamn it they HURT so now he's upset and angry at the 2 which alienates them even more" (but i forgot to uhhh like and reblog. my bad,,,,, i do that a lot with posts i like) and i do really Like That Headcanon A Normal Amount. totally normal amount and definitely not fawning over it ADHAGAHGHHHH i love it so much when they keep on pushing each other away and starting more and more conflicts between them. but they cant DO anything about it. in the gang where else would they go with nightmare crawling on their backs all the damn time??? and outside the gang theyre still too attatched to each other despite all of the intricacies of toxicity in their relationship (like a toxic relationship you can't help but keep on coming back to because it's comforting and you miss it and youre too attached even though it was bad because there were SOME good moments right? and in a life filled with sadness and anguish the small moments might be enough to keep them together)

anyways this is a lot. thank you for answering my ask :3333 i love hearing other people's ideas and interpretations on the mtt!!!! this entire reblog was just me being in denial of the trio splitting up with eachother though. erm

dear buubonita,

i'll keep it short and classy: opinions on the murder time trio??? i need to know EVERYTHING

that feeling when knee surgery is tomorrow, triglycercule

Murder Time Trio is my favorite little trio, I used to throw Nightmare into the mix but I don't anymore because I still can't figure out how to integrate him in a way that I like.

Anyway, let's leave Nightmare aside.

I know that many love to think outside the box and put Killer in other groups, and I don't think that's bad at all, they're interesting to watch for a moment. But MTT is my favorite and I wouldn't change it for the world! I love the idea of ​​broken people trying to hold each other up, they need to hold on to something when all three of them are suffering constant stress and pain under Nightmare's tyranny. I love that they can connect through the pain. And their relationship is far from healthy, I'd say that breaking up afterwards is the best thing they can do if they manage to run away together.

Their form of affection is subtle gestures I think. Like Dust decides to redirect Nightmare's rage away from Killer himself when he thinks the man needs a little respite, or like when Horror drags the two of them into a safe space and they stay close to each other on the roughest of nights, or when Killer, who knows Nightmare best, gives the other two advice and warnings to handle themselves carefully around Nightmare. It's little things that try to make the situation a little less shitty, you know?But their relationship isn't perfect and there are moments of high tension that inevitably explode between them.

A friend and I thought about the idea of ​​Killer trying to understand his feelings a long time ago and how Dust and Horror try to help him figure it out only to trigger a stage jump that ends with Nightmare forcing Killer to regress to his stage 2 and with a little resentment towards the two of them for believing they did it on purpose. Or maybe Horror pushes the mental edge too much on Dust on a particularly bad day. Or Dust in a small psychotic outbreak ends up hurting Killer or Horror. These are things that can happen, their relationship is turbulent but they still try to find comfort between them within their possibilities.

I hope this satisfies your fever for them :3 i defo will talk more of them in the future.

[greenerteacups]

oooh please someday tell us what you think of GOT

oh, no, it's my fatal weakness! it's [checks notes] literally just the bare modicum of temptation! okay you got me.

SO. in order to tell what's wrong with game of thrones you kind of have to have read the books, because the books are the reason the show goes off the rails. i actually blame the showrunners relatively little in proportion to GRRM for how bad the show was (which I'm not gonna rehash here because if you're interested in GOT in any capacity you've already seen that horse flogged to death). people debate when GOT "got bad" in terms of writing, but regardless of when you think it dropped off, everyone agrees the quality declined sharply in season 8, and to a certain extent, season 7. these are the seasons that are more or less entirely spun from whole cloth, because season 7 marks the beginning of what will, if we ever see it, be the Winds of Winter storyline. it's the first part that isn't based on a book by George R.R. Martin. it's said that he gave the showrunners plot outlines, but we don't know how detailed they were, or how much the writers diverged from the blueprint — and honestly, considering the cumulative changes made to the story by that point, some stark divergence would have been required. (there's a reason for this. i'll get there in a sec.)

so far, i'm not saying anything all that original. a lot of people recognized how bad the show got as soon as they ran out of Book to adapt. (I think it's kind of weird that they agreed to make a show about an unfinished series in the first place — did GRRM figure that this was his one shot at a really good HBO adaptation, and forego misgivings about his ability to write two full books in however many years it took to adapt? did he think they would wait for him? did he not care that the series would eventually spoil his magnum opus, which he's spent the last three decades of his life writing? perplexing.) but the more interesting question is why the show got bad once it ran out of Book, because in my mind, that's not a given. a lot of great shows depart from the books they were based on. fanfiction does exactly that, all the time! if you have good writers who understand the characters they're working with, departure means a different story, not a worse one. now, the natural reply would be to say that the writers of GOT just aren't good, or at least aren't good at the things that make for great television, and that's why they needed the books as a structure, but I don't think that's true or fair, either. books and television are very different things. the pacing of a book is totally different from the pacing of a television show, and even an episodic book like ASOIAF is going to need a lot of work before it's remotely watchable as a series. bad writers cannot make great series of television, regardless of how good their source material is. sure, they didn't invent the characters of tyrion lannister and daenerys targaryen, but they sure as hell understood story structure well enough to write a damn compelling season of TV about them!

so but then: what gives? i actually do think it's a problem with the books! the show starts out as very faithful to the early books (namely, A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings) to the point that most plotlines are copied beat-for-beat. the story is constructed a little differently, and it's definitely condensed, but the meat is still there. and not surprisingly, the early books in ASOIAF are very tightly written. for how long they are, you wouldn't expect it, but on every page of those books, the plot is racing. you can practically watch george trying to beat the fucking clock. and he does! useful context here is that he originally thought GOT was going to be a trilogy, and so the scope of most threads in the first book or two would have been much smaller. it also helps that the first three books are in some respects self-contained stories. the first book is a mystery, the second and third are espionage and war dramas — and they're kept tight in order to serve those respective plots.

the trouble begins with A Feast for Crows, and arguably A Storm of Swords, because GRRM starts multiplying plotlines and treating the series as a story, rather than each individual book. he also massively underestimated the number of pages it would take him to get through certain plot beats — an assumption whose foundation is unclear, because from a reader's standpoint, there is a fucke tonne of shit in Feast and Dance that's spurious. I'm not talking about Brienne's Riverlands storyline (which I adore thematically but speaking honestly should have been its own novella, not a part of Feast proper). I'm talking about whole chapters where Tyrion is sitting on his ass in the river, just talking to people. (will I eat crow about this if these pay off in hugely satisfying ways in Winds or Dream? oh, totally. my brothers, i will gorge myself on sweet sweet corvid. i will wear a dunce cap in the square, and gleefully, if these turn out to not have been wastes of time. the fact that i am writing this means i am willing to stake a non-negligible amount of pride on the prediction that that will not happen). I'm talking about scenes where the characters stare at each other and talk idly about things that have already happened while the author describes things we already have seen in excruciating detail. i'm talking about threads that, while forgivable in a different novel, are unforgivable in this one, because you are neglecting your main characters and their story. and don't tell me you think that a day-by-day account tyrion's river cruise is necessary to telling his story, because in the count of monte cristo, the main guy disappears for nine years and comes hurtling back into the story as a vengeful aristocrat! and while time jumps like that don't work for everything, they certainly do work if what you're talking about isn't a major story thread!

now put aside whether or not all these meandering, unconcluded threads are enjoyable to read (as, in fairness, they often are!). think about them as if you're a tv showrunner. these bad boys are your worst nightmare. because while you know the author put them in for a reason, you haven't read the conclusion to the arc, so you don't know what that reason is. and even if the author tells you in broad strokes how things are going to end for any particular character (and this is a big "if," because GRRM's whole style is that he lets plots "develop as he goes," so I'm not actually convinced that he does have endings written out for most major characters), that still doesn't help you get them from point A (meandering storyline) to point B (actual conclusion). oh, and by the way, you have under a year to write this full season of television, while GRRM has been thinking about how to end the books for at least 10. all of this means you have to basically call an audible on whether or not certain arcs are going to pay off, and, if they are, whether they make for good television, and hence are worth writing. and you have to do that for every. single. unfinished. story. in the books.

here's an example: in the books, Quentin Martell goes on a quest to marry Daenerys and gain a dragon. many chapters are spent detailing this quest. spoiler alert: he fails, and he gets charbroiled by dragons. GRRM includes this plot to set up the actions of House Martell in Winds, but the problem is that we don't know what House Martell does in Winds, because (see above) the book DNE. So, although we can reliably bet that the showrunners understand (1) Daenerys is coming to Westeros with her 3 fantasy nukes, and (2) at some point they're gonna have to deal with the invasion of frozombies from Canada, that DOESN'T mean they necessarily know exactly what's going to happen to Dorne, or House Martell. i mean, fuck! we don't even know if Martin knows what's going to happen to Dorne or House Martell, because he's said he's the kind of writer who doesn't set shit out beforehand! so for every "Cersei defaults on millions of dragons in loans from the notorious Bank of Nobody Fucks With Us, assumes this will have no repercussions for her reign or Westerosi politics in general" plotline — which might as well have a big glaring THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT stamp on top of the chapter heading — you have Arianne Martell trying to do a coup/parent trap switcheroo with Myrcella, or Euron the Goffick Antichrist, or Faegon Targaryen and JonCon preparing a Blackfyre restoration, or anything else that might pan out — but might not! And while that uncertainty about what's important to the "overall story" might be a realistic way of depicting human beings in a world ruled by chance and not Destiny, it makes for much better reading than viewing, because Game of Thrones as a fantasy television series was based on the first three books, which are much more traditional "there is a plot and main characters and you can generally tell who they are" kind of book. I see Feast and Dance as a kind of soft reboot for the series in this respect, because they recenter the story around a much larger cast and cast a much broader net in terms of which characters "deserve" narrative attention.

but if you're making a season of television, you can't do that, because you've already set up the basic premise and pacing of your story, and you can't suddenly pivot into a long-form tone poem about the horrors of war. so you have to cut something. but what are you gonna cut? bear in mind that you can't just Forget About Dorne, or the Iron Islands, or the Vale, or the North, or pretty much any region of the story, because it's all interconnected, but to fit in everything from the books would require pacing of the sort that no reasonable audience would ever tolerate. and bear in mind that the later books sprout a lot more of these baby-plots that could go somewhere, but also might end up being secondary or tertiary to the "main story," which, at the end of the day, is about dragons and ice zombies and the rot at the heart of the feudal power system glorified in classical fantasy. that's the story that you as the showrunner absolutely must give them an end to, and that's the story that should be your priority 1.

so you do a hack and slash job, and you mortar over whatever you cut out with storylines that you cook up yourself, but you can't go too far afield, because you still need all the characters more or less in place for the final showdown. so you pinch here and push credulity there, and you do your best to put the characters in more or less the same place they would have been if you kept the original, but on a shorter timeframe. and is it as good as the first seasons? of course not! because the material that you have is not suited to TV like the first seasons are. and not only that, but you are now working with source material that is actively fighting your attempt to constrain a linear and well-paced narrative on it. the text that you're working with changed structure when you weren't looking, and now you have to find some way to shanghai this new sprawling behemoth of a Thing into a television show. oh, and by the way, don't think that the (living) author of the source material will be any help with this, because even though he's got years of experience working in television writing, he doesn't actually know how all of these threads will tie together, which is possibly the reason that the next book has taken over 8 years (now 13 and counting) to write. oh and also, your showrunners are sick of this (in fairness, very difficult) job and they want to go write for star wars instead, so they've refused the extra time the studio offered them for pre-production and pushed through a bunch of first-draft scripts, creating a crunch culture of the type that spawns entirely avoidable mistakes, like, say, some poor set designer leaving a starbucks cup in frame.

anyway, that's what I think went wrong with game of thrones.

[possamble]

(why does the read more cut keep breaking)

thank you marcille for letting my indulge in one of my favourite scenes to write (white girl total breakdown: bitch edition)

[kaurwreck]

as a Japanese fan of bsd you’ve hit the nail on the head to why i hate this fandoms tendency to go with the “oh it’s so disrespectful to the authors” bc yea it’s my hatred of Japanese nationalism and its agenda to portray their cultural exports as untouchable…it also feels infantilizing in the sense where they can’t picture asagiri doing transformative critique of his country’s “classics” and they are adopting that very same idolatry of Japan

It's also such a flaccid, insincere interpretation of respect that is itself inherently dehumanizing. There is nothing untouchable, and substituting discernment for fawning is much worse than being superficially disrespectful, especially when the subject of your disrespect cannot possibly perceive it, and the only beneficiaries of your deference are states, institutions, and ideological concepts.

I've noticed people tend to strip agency and conscious commentary from Asagiri too. It is exceptionally infantilizing.

[pocketramblr]

Dash simulator

Blog 1: lol anyone else seeing a lot of strawberries in new recipes now? sometimes its fun but i really dont get the appeal of adding it to everything. why did you make strawberry garlic bread

Blog 2: u kno im not a fan of strawberries, i really like the rich sweet and sour notes from oranges, oranges and chocolate is such a good combo. i altered a recipe for a smoothie with oranges last week and it was soooo good ill give you my notes if you want Reblogged by: Blog 1: ahaha yesss i love chocolate and oranges

Blog 3: I canNOT believe the hate im seeing to strawberries right now, like, you know guys know the rule don't like don't bake right?? you know you can hit the back button right?? honestly what's wrong with yall

Open draft- wait guys you know there's a difference between leaving a comment on a recipe saying you hate strawberries and the recipe writer should never use them, and going to your own blog to say you don't really like strawberries, without naming any specific people or recipes right? you know there's a difference right?? - Save - Post - Discard

Draft discarded

Blog 4: why is everyone jumping on the strawberry hate train right now. what is wrong with you. Reblogged by: Blog 5: I knowwww like guys some people stop baking because of reading things like that, please stop it, if you don't like strawberries you can be quiet about it

Open draft- im so sorry if anyone's getting sent mean messages or comments about what they're writing and baking, but i'm literally not seeing any of that and if you are, please use the block button. but someone making a post on their own blog is not that, and if you can't see the irony in you being allowed to complain on personal blogs but not them i can't help you... - save- post- discard

Draft discarded

Blog 2: are strawberries even in season?

Blog 6: woo cherry pie!

[girlscience]

Okay. I know I have a lot of cooking mutuals, what do I need to do to make cooking enjoyable??? I am so fucking tired of eating canned soup and kraft mac n cheese and "concoction" (ground beef with whatever else I have that needs eaten and every spice I own). I know people say "if you don't like veggies try different ways of cooking them!" here the thing though, I hate veggie prep. So even changing how I cook them, everything else about veggies is an awful experience for me so I never want to do it. I know people talk about "15 minute meals!" and "one pan recipes!", but so far those have all been lies. People talk about experimenting and trying new things, but I straight up don't know how to do that. People say to listen to podcasts or audiobooks while prepping, but either I focus on the prep and hear none of the story or I focus on the story and struggle with the prep. I am not fast with prep, so meals that require prepping multiple things at once or prepping something while something else is cooking never fails to stress me out to a wild degree. I don't know how I'm supposed to keep everything from burning and keep things stirred and chop up everything and get the next ingredients out and clean as I work all at the same time. I do not enjoy picking out recipes or buying groceries (genuinely hate more than any other chore besides laundry), so meal prep is next to impossible for me. I forget to thaw meat nearly every time I want to cook something and so end up putting it off for days. I can never seem to get my roasted veggies to actually roast, somehow they just steam themselves in the oven. I do not want or like cooking gadgets, so I am doing everything with the very basic supplies. I am cooking for one person so leftovers are a constant issue (I have eaten so much left over food that I find genuinely sickening because I didn't want to waste it). And then I have to do this every day forever till I die. How do I make myself like this??? I am so fucking tired of eating gross food.

[roombagreyjoy]

*said with increasing distress, eyes blodshot and an empty mug in hand* you guys remember writing right????? you guys remember posting fic and publishing things and talking to editors about potential projects right???? you guys remember being creative in your creative jobs and not just rereading old work and having a panic attack over the time wasted over curating hyperspecific character playlists that you get mad about five minutes later right????? i'm not insane right????? creative block is normal even if it lasts for months right???? i haven't written a fic in YEARS but it's ok i'm ok i have to finish TWO original pieces for next week that I haven't even started but it'll probably be fineeeee I'm totally not being a complete and raving lunatic about it it's probably gonna be okay <3 yay <3

[daswarschonkaputt]

Look Don't Leap 👍

looking at the power dynamics of the story again but if the lead is a woman 👍👍

ohhhh, they're both bi. fem!Kinn bi!KP 👍👍👍

thank you!

(and if you were to write a continuation of when she stops looking and starts leaping, there would be no complaints here.)

ahhh i'm glad you liked the drabble!

i was actually fairly nervous about posting it because i knew how it was going to get painted by people who didn't read it. i'm someone who takes a more blurry view on gender and sexuality as a whole and feels that it's not something that's easy to quantify. attraction works in mysterious ways, basically. i knew people were going to look at it and go, "ew, she's making the lesbian straight." no. i'm making the bi woman bi.

one of the big reasons i went ahead and posted it is that i feel a lot of kinship with the bisexual community as an asexual. i don't talk about my sexuality much over here, mostly because i was active on tumblr during the ace discourse era. it was a really horrible time to be figuring out your sexuality, in amongst all this rabid, awful talk from members of a community that should have been supporting us and amplifying our voices. so i know how hard it can be when discussions of your own sexuality and experience get hammered into a box labelled "actually homophobic actually" by radicals in the community. and it's something i see happening with bi people, too. when "straight" people figure out they're bi, it's celebrated. when "gay" people figure out they're actually bi, it's seen as a downgrade. it's nasty and i don't want any part of it.

i do want to state that i am aware of the tropes that people may feel this fic invokes. i am aware of the "curing the lesbian" angle. i hate it too. i hope that's not what the fic is, at all. but if that trope's looming shadow is going to ruin the fic for you, i encourage you not to read it. but ship and let ship applies to all kinds of fic.

and lastly the final reason i posted it is that i cut my teeth in the glee fandom. so i guess i'm not scared of a little fandom wank.

[chirpsythismorning]

☎️🎲 🤼‍♂️ ✈️🚪 ➡️ 🫀🎮⌛️

I'm Not In Love by 10cc

previous ⏪︎ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist

[theultracharmingladynoire]

.

[babybearnini]

I love when people say harsh things to me thinking it'll hurt my feelings but the moment they said it my brain perceived them as nothing but a nasty little parasite not even worthy of speaking to me