#but I think in some ways they might have liked things which were a bit like that

[fanzou]

I Can Love You

♡ A Valentine’s Special

✗ Pairing: Law Trafalgar x Fem!Reader

✗ Summary: You insist that Nico Robin is the right one for him, but he wants to show you why you’re wrong.

✗ Total WC: 6.5K

✗ CW: SMUT! Reader is a little jeeeeelly of Robin and Law’s friendship, reader is also a Straw Hat, LAW HAS A BIG DICK, p in v sex, Law teases too much [let me know if I missed any]

✗ A/N: Enjooooooy!

“You know I was thinking,” you start, and he's ready to rolls his eyes. “Robin and you’d make a great couple.”

Even though he was facing the opposite direction of you, you can tell Law’s face was littered in a scowl.

After spending over 2 weeks with him, he was easier to read. It came with its perks and, well, Law was Law and there wasn’t much else.

“And why’s that?” He feigns interest in what you say, raising his head in your direction while throwing the blood littered gauze pads in the trash can next to the desk. “I think you both would complement each other pretty well. She’s quiet, you’re quiet, she’s pretty wise, you are too.” You pause for a moment, then continue, “She’s also very gorgeous.” You wiggle your eyebrows, with a mischievous look.

“I suggest you take care of those wounds on your body before you worry about who I should or shouldn’t be with.”

Known for your blunt and straightforward manner—he respected it, in truth—pirates weren’t known to talk so formally amongst each other anyways, but this, he would be lying straight out of his teeth had he said he wasn’t taken aback by today’s new invasive question you’d ask him. You’ve said some weird things, never anything about his love life—which was… nonexistent, in your own words.

And yes, you make that very clear to him. A lot.

He looks over to you with your finger to your chin as if deep in thought, like you Straw Hats even had anything to give thought toanyway, and you finally speak, "Yeah... she might be too good for you. Scratch the thought."

He chuckles, “You wound me.”

“But if you had to choose from any woman in your entire life to ever marry, who would you choose?” And he has to remind himself that you are completely and entirely under the influence of painkillers, otherwise he would have mistook you for a 5-year-old with the way the question was structured.

“Definitely not you.”

“Law!” You pout. He makes sure that his back is facing you again so he could sneak in a little smile. “That’s actually a good thing. I’m out of your league.”

He turns around to look at you, hand on his heart, “My heart truly cannot take anymore heartbreak.” He says in the most monotone voice you’ve ever heard from him.

For most, it was weird that you were left behind by your captain, but in this case—and with a whole lot of begging from the Straw hat himself—you were rushed to Law’s medical aid. Mindlessly running into battle to protect your friends from a life or death situation wasn’t so appealing when you had to face the consequences for the next month.

But you insisted that you didn’t regret your decision if it meant that everyone was safe; or in Law’s words, you were just careless and dumb.

Even though Luffy himself had to be pried away from your side by the swordsman and the cook while you were unconscious for the first few days, Law had explained to you that they had to get a move on (In your crews complete and utter reluctance) for the next up and coming battle when you came to. And when you found out, you were a bit upset to be parted away from them, but quickly found comfort in Law's presence while you were bed-ridden, cracking jokes about how you’d call him captain until your time was up on his submarine.

He looks over to your bandaged condition, high off your ass, and he almost wants to laugh. Even in your drugged out state, you talk about your friends in such high regard, and try playing wingman with him.

You disrupt the comfortable silence while he looks over some of the stuff on his desk, “You’re not gonna believe this, but I’m feeling much better. Y’think I can go back on my own ship yet?” You’re already stretching your arms out. He calls your name with his signature “-ya” attached to it in a scolding manner, “What did I say about moving?” Damn Straw hat.

You immediately deflate and look down, “You’re not letting me do anything. I feel fine.”

“It feels that way until you move a little too much and start to open your wounds again, give it another week and we’ll see how you’re doing.” He’s looking through some pages on his desk. “We can go on another walk tomorrow if you really wanna move that badly.”

“Thank you, Cap!” You beam at him, he feels his heart jump a little bit.

-

Another week has passed and you’re itching to go back to your found family. It’s been this way for the past three weeks, but as the month goes by, you’d just grow more and more eager.

You made him question why he was even doing this often times.

He was a little offended by your verbalized pleas to get out of here, like he wasn’t helping you. In his own little ways, he tried satiating your boredom by doing things that were almost out of character for someone such as himself. He’d even let you tell him about your fellow crew members to make you a little happier.

You’d talk about Luffy quite often, maybe because he knew him way better than anyone else.

You talked about Robin and Nami as well, about how you felt like they were the sisters you never had growing up, about how close you were to them, about how you each met, he was almost sick of how much you talked about them. But if it meant that you were doing okay then that was all that mattered.

Is that why you said that thing a couple weeks ago? About Nico-ya? There was a sincerity in your voice. Robin was a beautiful woman just as you proclaimed, she was around his age, and all the things you said about her held truth.

Maybe it was true—Nico Robin was the woman perfectly crafted for him. And he couldn’t deny her beauty.

He brushes his hand over his face--maybe out of confusion or frustration, he can't decide. But he hated the conflicting feelings that resided in his mind, they made no sense. He never had an issue with women. He didn't want to.

From the day he met you, his beating heart understood an appeal his mind couldn't, you had an annoying personality. You made dumb decisions. You said things too brutally. You never thought about yourself and it was bound to get you killed one way or another. He didn’t know if it was because he’d been spending extra time with you and getting way too familiar with you, but he’s letting himself enjoy it far too much. And he doesn’t know how he’d feel once you parted your ways. He’s never been this close to a woman before, be it the lack of female subordinates on his ship, or his lack of intimacy with just about everyone, it’s a lot for him.

When he has his arm on your hip to assist you in walking and you have yours on his shoulder, he feels his heart rate picking up a little more.

Sometimes when you get tired you beg him to carry you back to your room, he pretends that he hates it, as he leans over for you to get on his back.

And the first week was hell for him when he had to wash you, because bloodied bath and scars aside, your body was beautiful. Every inch of it. He didn't want to be a pervert. He kept chanting the words; this is a doctor and patient relationship, this is a doctor and patient relationship, this is a doctor and patient relationship in his head when his mind almost slipped to unholy places. If you weren’t in so much pain at the time you’d probably have teased him for how red he looked.

But right now you seem fine, and you and Law (sometimes Bepo) have been going on walks around the submarine every morning now to get you used to physical activity again, you fall into the routine pretty quickly and you don’t seem as depressed as the first few days you were here.

A day ago the submarine ascended out of the water and met with dry land. He was conflicted in telling you— he didn’t know how you’d react. You’re in a completely different place now, different from where you were almost a month ago, it must've be a little weird to come outside after 3 weeks.

It was something that Chopper was extremely adamant on, only because he knew your tendency to wander and extreme desire to explore anywhere you went. You were quite the adventurous one, which is why the Straw Hat himself was probably so upset over your departure.

He sits next to you in a chair from your bed, mentally preparing himself and thinking on how he’d formulate the way he would go about telling you.

Would you stay by his side? Would you immediately go someplace else, and without him?

You’re sat upright in the bed waiting for what he had to say, “We’ll be getting some stock in this new place and I want you to come with us. Just to see how you do.” Your eyes get wider with every word that comes after the next, and you’re smiling. You hadn’t smiled this hard ever since you got here.

What he doesn’t expect, is you to throw yourself onto him. “Thank you Law! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Your embrace is warm, and easy to get lost in and he refuses to let himself have that pleasure. "Do they have a carnival? Can we go out to eat?"

He rests his hand on your waist in an effort to pull you off.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, you just got your stitches off.” And he does well to hide the small smile that starts to form.

-

Law insists that you have to be with him, no questions asked.

If not him, then Bepo—the usual routine. It kinda made you mad, I mean, why not go with the other crew mates? You needed the new faces, but he insisted that he wasn’t as confident in their skills to take care of you versus his. Bepo was far more comfortable to be with given his warm and fuzzy embrace. And you envied the captain for having him be apart of the Heart pirates instead of the Straw hats.

You’re excited to finally go out and enjoy the traditions of this new place, you’re wearing a tight dress that looks almost too good on you.

You made a joke to him earlier and told him you were surprised that he didn’t make you wear one of his jumpsuits the rest of the crew worse, then you’re calling him Captain Law to egg on the joke further. All he does is tsk and roll his eyes, like all the time. But you can tell he’s gotten more comfortable with you, and you appreciated it.

Anyway, the town’s food was delectable, you grab some food to-go and eat it while taking a stroll through the busy streets, the smell of more food, presumably some fresh-baked bread met your nostrils and you sighed out of pure satisfaction.

Your partner, on the other hand, all but scowled.

Which gave you an idea.

“Law, let’s go try some bread. I bet they have it freshly baked the way it smells so good.” You hang off of his arm to try and get him to come with you. And he swears the close proximity shouldn’t make him feel weird. He’s been much closer and he’s seen you in much more vulnerable circumstances, but this was different.

He kinda regrets telling you about the bread thing.

“C’moooonnn, you’re a liar if you say you hate bread.” You’re pulling him by his arm now, insisting on getting him into the bakery to try some sweet bread. “I never said I hated it, I said I didn’t like the taste.” This is practically a push and pull game now, “People are looking at us. We’re keeping a low profile, remember?”

You pull away from him in complete and utter defeat and tuck your hands over your chest.

He doesn’t want to miss your touch, but once again, his heart betrays him. “You’re no fun.”

He doesn’t have to miss the skinship for long, almost instantly you’re body is hanging back off of his bicep, talking about the next subject of your absolute fascination, which now happened to be a huge teddy bear plushy that was on display at a ‘convenience’ store. Not only are you closer to him but he can feel your breasts pushing onto his arm. He shudders.

And he tries remaining calm and reminding himself to not be a pervert, you always did this. You always touched him, he touched you. You were doing this as a means for support to walk better (even though you’ve been walking fine for a while now). That’s it.

You interrupt the awkward silence between you two before he starts to feel the immense guilt come over him and he thanks you in his head. His very perverted head. “I feel so much better now that we’re on land again, I feel like I haven’t had fresh air my whole life.” You breathe in and breathe a heavy breath out. “You’re exaggerating, you were on deck not too long ago.”

Your next movement makes him tense, you lay your head on top of his tattooed shoulder. “Thank you so much for taking me out, Law.” And give his captured arm a little squeeze, inevitably making him feel your breasts so much more.

He wants to die.

Collecting himself, he clears his through, “You’re making it seem like this is a date. I’m just here to monitor your progress.” He looks at you then looks ahead.

“Why can’t it be a date?” You ask him, still hanging off of his arm.

If you didn’t feel him tense then, it was especially obvious now. And he was trying to mask how weird he felt when you said that, but every part of him felt really hot, and he prayed that his cheeks weren’t tomato red right now.

“Aww! Look at them, young love, huh?”

“Ooooh, they’re an attractive couple…”

“They’re so cute!”

He calls your name a little coldly, “Get off of my shoulder, you’re sending people the wrong message.” He actually didn’t mind it, but he swears he might die if he feels your breast push up on him one more time. “Sorry…” So you withdraw your body completely from his, (which he totally doesn’t regret at all) and you start your walk with him again, minus your body on his this time.

Letting your eyes wander once again and away from Law, you settle on a trinket store, and the idea of buying Usopp a little gift pops into your head immediately. Just because.

You walk into the store full of weird things galore. You settle on a super shiny thing first and when you pick it up, the salesmen is immediately by your side, “This is a one of a kind (doo-hicky) which can only be found on this here island! (you saw this thing at the convenience store as well) Usual price would be 20,000 berries, but for your pretty little self, I’ll make it 19!”

“Yeah, no.” He immediately deflates.

You continue your walk through the store and not shortly after you land on something that you immediately found more intriguing than the last.

“Law look at this! You would love this!” You turn around,

But there’s just one problem.

Law isn’t with you anymore.

Oh.

And when you wave the salesmen off empty-handed, he seems a little angered but bids his goodbye and fake come again! as well. You look towards the street and it seems like it’s gotten busier.

“Law’s going to kill me!”

You try fishing through the crowd and scanning for a white spotted hat, or fuzzy white fur, but everyone looks plain and simple. Which makes you think about how you guys kinda stick out like sore thumbs… anyway.

You search and search until you find that signature hat you’re looking for, excuse yourself in between what felt like hundreds of strangers and you catch up to him. You grab his hand in excitement, “Law!” Only for it to be quickly taken back, it was a stranger, with eyes that you’re sure could burn holes into you. You say your little sorry and resume your search.

After a long period of searching you’re drained, physically and mentally. You’re sure that if he found you he’d probably strap you down to your bed and not let you leave.

Well, that doesn’t sound too bad.

You’re defeated, extremely, entirely. Maybe it was the fact that you hadn’t been outside like this for what felt like forever, maybe it was the fact that the sun was setting now, or even maybe it was ‘cause you needed Law with you the most right now. You find a near bench and just sit.

And maybe that exhaustion finally got the better of you, because you swore you could see his big muscular tattooed figure paired with Bepo's white fur walking towards you as you dose off into a really, really nice sleep.

-

The sound of one—no, two muffled voices wake you from your slumber, your vision is blurry, and if you were right about him saving you, you could hear what you assume to be Law’s medical instruments clacking together. A sound you’ve grown all too familiar with.

“Captain, you don’t think that’s a little harsh?”

“Do you see what she pulled out there?”

Bepo is silent for a bit, then sighs, “If you think it’s best for her.” He leaves the room on his own accord, leaving just you and the very scary man alone.

“I know you’re up.” He calls you with a firmness in his tone.

Much to your unwillingness, you sit up straight, tail between your legs. He looked a bit unkempt, and you couldn't pinpoint if it was because of you or something else. In whatever way, you felt a little guilty.

“Just plain reckless and obnoxious.” He towers over you, “I have a job to complete, and that requires you being taken care of.”

He's pacing around in your room-- the room, of his ship. Not yours. You've never seen him like this. Like he was distressed. He stills and looks at you.

“You’re not coming out the rest of the week. You can wait until Straw Hat comes and picks you up.”

“What am I, a child?" You swing your legs around to meet the floor and pick yourself up.

"With the shit you just pulled, maybe."

With a scoff, "That's low, even for you, Law. It was an honest mistake and you're making it seem like I almost got us killed? You knew what you were getting into when you took me out!" you pinch your nose in a mix of frustration and some previous dizziness. "Sorry I can't be like Robin!"

Huh? Like who?

He immediately looks at you, and sees a little a tiny but of regret in your face. Like you had just got caught with a big secret.

Well maybe, that’s what it was.

“What is your deal with me and your crew mate, huh?”

Your confident demeanor is quick to fade away and if he didn’t know better, he would say that you were almost a bit embarrassed now. He really couldn’t tell what it was. You weren’t angry anymore, that was for certain. You’re not looking at him with those harsh eyes, you’ve been reduced to silence.

It makes him think a bit. He says your name in an attempt to get you to look at him and he succeeds.

“You wouldn’t happen to be…”

“Jealous?”

If there was ever a more dramatic gasp, it certainly couldn’t have topped the one that just came out your mouth. “How dare you! Not one bit!” Suddenly he has this new profound confidence to him, and his frustrations suddenly wiped clean off his mind. He looks at you with his grin all-knowing, and by God you hated when he did that. You wish you could have wiped it off and smacked it off of him.

“So explain to me, what’s the point of mentioning her again?” You don’t realize it, but he’s inching a bit closer while you’re avoiding any and all contact with him, you’re red. Red all over. Cheeks, ears, neck—everywhere. And you don’t know what to do with your hands, you can feel them collect sweat now. You don’t know why. Because his accusation was false.

He’s in front of you now.

“W-What are you doing? Law?” You scan his face because his stare down is relentless and unforgiving, and his hand finds its way up your neck and soon your chin. He’s awfully quiet. It’s unsettling. You put your hands on his chest to hopefully put a halt in the proximity. “Can you please te—”

His mouth is on yours. It’s a little shocking at first but you’re not pulling away.

And you don’t remember closing your eyes and snaking your hands around his neck, and pulling him in, but you do. His own tattooed hands found caressing your body. And the kiss was really, really passionate. He didn’t think it was gonna be this good, but he was wrong.

He was always wrong about you. Wrong about how he didn’t think you were right for him, wrong about your personality, attitude, everything. He really wanted to stay wrong until you would leave and he’d hardly have to see you again. He’s almost pissed he’s letting himself bask in your warmth and intimacy.

But now that he has it, he can’t go without it.

Few words are exchanged, but what he can do is guide you and put you back on your bed with your lips barely still connected trying to reach for each others and you think to yourself, for a man who claims to not have had so much going on in his love life he sure was skilled in whatever this was. He doesn’t want to take them off of yours. He can’t now. Your hands are under his shirt caressing every part of his torso. The feeling of his abs turned you on so much more and you felt your cunt throb a bit. You were aching for his body and he could tell, he takes his lips off yours with a whine from you that follows suit and immediately licks, sucks and kisses your neck, your audible satisfaction letting him know that he’s made you feel great.

“I need you… so bad.” You say in between huffs.

“How can I be so sure you deserve it?” He gets up, and takes his body off of yours, lips glossy. “How do I know that you won’t pass out on me, either?” He disguises his slight worry in a taunting statement, he’d try being as gentle as possible but he couldn’t make any promises.

“I won’t do that, and please Law. It was a mistake, honest. I need you inside. I wanted this so bad. Please!” You tug him by his shirt, urging him to come back down, he doesn’t. He thinks on your words a bit. You wanted this just as much as he did.

“Take your clothes off.”

He laughs at the very quick work you make of taking every single article of clothing, save for your bra and panties, off. There it was, the very image that kept him up for nights, shamefully touching himself to the thought of you on top of him, and him on top of you. Soon he joins, dropping his shirt and jeans and all else except his boxers, to the floor. He returns to your neck, his body on top of yours and you can feel his clothes dick pressing onto your clit ever so slightly, it draws a shaky breath out of you. “Do you know what you do to me?” He slides down your bra to continue his trail of kisses and licks on your nipples. “And you’re worrying about someone else. You’re so pathetic.” You arch impossibly closer into him and start to buck your hips into his crotch.

“Need it sooo bad, put it inside me already, pleaaaaase!” His dick is throbbing in his boxers now. He shakes his head “You’re not prepped.”

“I’m wet enough, please baby. I need you inside of me.” You claw at his chest in an attempt to get what you want.

But he refuses, he can’t. He goes down on you anyways, taking off your panties and the string of wetness that connected from your underwear to your cunt validated your statement. This was straight out of one of his wet dreams; you sprawled out and begging to be filled with his aching cock. He wanted more than anything to make you beg for him like your life depended on it to carry out the fantasy but, he was afraid he was just as desperate as you were right now. He continued and gently presses your legs up, swiping his thumb across your slit to test the waters (literally), your slick gathered onto his thumb and made a great lubricant, but he still wanted to make you feel good.

He licks his thumb clean and settles between your legs and gives your throbbing heat a few lips and sucks on your clit. He can feel you shake underneath him, and he separates your legs by your inner thighs to get a better angle.

The image in front of you made you hot, that’s all you could say about it. It made you hot and shaky and you thought you were going to die if you didn’t feel him inside of you soon, Law hears your pleas, and to temporarily compensate for it, he sticks two fingers into you while he’s practically making out with your clit. You look down with an almost drowsy expression, your moans get so much louder but you don’t even care anymore. He was sexy and he was eating you out. That would be your excuse to anyone who dared to get too close to the door.

His two fingers were pretty big enough to even cause you a bit of trouble alone, and his constant prodding and scissoring made you seethe a bit, but you didn’t care because the pain and the pleasure mixed together made you feel the growing orgasm in your stomach. You shout his name, “I’m gonna— I’m g-gonna cum… mmm~” your whines and moans are breathy.

But he pulls away, and you look to him in shock. He gets up from his position and he’s on his knees in front of you, and he’s threatening the hem of his boxers, you quickly forget about your failed orgasm, knowing the main course was yet to come.

It almost feels like when he pulls down his boxers, time is in slow motion. Maybe because you wanted him extra due to the lack of action you were getting, and your inability to masturbate for the longest time, were you so eager to get him in your pants, nothing prepared you for when he pulled down his underwear.

And now you understood why he wanted to prepare you.

When he pulled them down, his cock shot right up and bounced a little bit before it was like it was staring right at you. You gulp. Because that’s all you could do. And you didn’t even want to look at Law in the eye because you know he was gonna give you some smug and shitty smirk. Like a hypnosis, you get in position and spread your legs further.

“You ready?” He puts one arm next to your head and crouches down a little bit, you can’t even speak. You just hum. You’re expecting him to get it over with, but now he’s just stroking your slit with that absolute beast, “You sure you’re ready?” And now you’re forced to look away from the heavenly scene and into his dumb and beautiful eyes.

“W-What was I saying for like the past 10 minutes? Put it in!” He only chuckles at how you jump at him, demanding him like you have any control. So he slides it in, head only. With your hand on his bicep, digging nails as you’re squeezing him both down there and with your hand that looks for some kind of help in his arm.

He removes his hand that pushes his cock inside and rests in on your chin to bring your eyes up to him, the action was so gentle it could’ve made you forget what was just going down. “Just look at me.” It makes your heart flutter.

And while you do, you feel so much better about the monster that’s sliding into you inch by inch. You furrow your eyebrows at him and chant his name like some sort of ritual. He’s almost all the way in, and the beads of tears in the corner of your eyes make him twitch inside of you with a groan. He looks at you like you hold the answer the all of his problems, like he just wants to be here with you only, and that’s exactly what it was. Like he’d pass away peacefully if it meant he passed away in between your legs.

Once he bottoms out, he stays there a little bit. He gives your lips a quick kiss before he moves into you, elbows on each side of your head. Each thrust is more powerful than the last, and he mentally curses at himself for not removing your bra so that he could see your tits jump freely. You’re on a different planet at this point, nothing has ever felt better. You look into his eyes, then down at what’s connecting you and you swear you could cum right there.

“‘F-Feels… so… good. Hah…” his thrusts find a comfortable pace now, “I feel full and good. Thank yoooouuummmm!” This is what you had been reduced to, thanking him for fucking you.

“Such a fuckin’ slut. Maybe I should keep you all to myself. For good.” His thrusts pick up a little bit now, “Straw Hat’s gonna have to fight me for this.” You whine in response. It took pretty quick for you to start to get cock-drunk off of him. He didn’t take you for the overly sensitive type but here you were, begging him and thanking him for some dick. He would so use that against you later.

He kisses you again, and he’s settled into you a whole lot more. The position changed a little for his body to be closer to yours, and almost in an instant does your skin start slapping against each other. You were a moaning mess, the new position held so much intimacy and so much of him was on you. You couldn’t take it anymore.

“Don’t stop. I’m almost there, I need it. Need it so bad. Let me have it!”

“Beg a little more.”

“Please, Law! Please! I need you to make me cum! Please, make me cum. Please please please…” and they don’t stop. It looks like his fantasies came to life after all.

He lets you have it because he needs it just as much as you do, the last few thrusts come a little more quick-paced and it’s hitting you in the exact spot you needed to let yourself unfold.

With a loud call to his name, you cum. You came so hard you saw stars. And he just kept fucking you through it.“‘Gonna fill you up.” He grunts and groans in an effort to reach his own moment of bliss and it’s quicker to hit him than he can comprehend, he cums inside of you and shivers a little bit in doing so, finding comfort in the crook of your neck in an effort to cover up how vulnerable he felt in that moment. No women could ever compare. He was a mess for it.

As for his fill inside of you, he’d just use his devil-fruit power to remove it, but right now he absolutely relished in the way it so effortlessly leaked out of you. You were his, officially.

Collecting his own self, he pushes himself off of you, “You’re not going cold on me, are you?” He gets up off of the comfortable position once again, peering down at your fucked-out state.

“Would you give me a second? I thought you fucked me into another dimension for like half a minute.” You huff. He gives you your time while you catch your breath, he’s rubbing circles on each side of your hips to help alleviate the strain—well that’s the doctor for you. He’ll fuck you into the mattress and then help your muscles de-stress. You couldn’t deny the gentleness and how kind the gesture was and you soften up a bit.

“Get on your hands and knees when you’re ready.” You’re up hilariously quick. And he’s already half hard from waiting for you. Your figure from the back was something he’d think back on for many nights, but getting to see your face was beyond compare.

You whimper, “I’m ready, c’mon!” You comedically and desperately wiggle your ass in front of him, he wants to laugh but it was really fucking sexy, the way you yearned for him, and he holds your hip with one hand, lining himself up once again. The hard part wasn’t so difficult this time around, and he pushes himself inside of you a little too eagerly, almost giving away his own very need. He starts to thrust into you again, and being inside of you was like heaven on earth. Though it wasn’t even 2 minutes that he was fucking you before, he was sensitive this time around, and he had to go slower to start.

“Fuck, that feels so good.” You hum a moan in a little more than approval. He’s sliding into you, watching how his cock disappears into you.

The best thing about this position is how you wouldn’t be able to see his face, how pussy-whipped he looked. If he went any faster he could cum, so he needed to start slow.

You were far past the sensual and slowness. You needed it fast and hard. “Law, go faster!”

“Don’t call me by my name. What do you call me in this room? On this ship?” Very bold in his proclamation. But he can feel your hesitance.

He smacks your ass, and you jump a bit, clenching around him very tightly. “I said, what do you call me?”

“C-Captain, please… please go faster.”

But he stops. And he swears he might be torturing his own self more, if it meant for how much you begged and whined for it, though, he wasn’t disappointed.

“If you want to go faster so bad, fuck me yourself.”

You almost want to cry from how brutal he sounded, but the vulgarity of his words makes you clench around him again. And so, you start to thrust back into him, fucking him while he watched you.

With the first few thrusts you’re already clutching the sheets below you, and it’s taking more power than you thought it would. You can’t bring yourself to stop, though. The way it felt, it was too good.

“How does it feel?”

“S-So good, Cap.” Your eyes rolled into your skull.

“You gonna make your captain cum?”

“Mhhmm~”

With a breathy voice he says, “Guess this is my reward for taking such good care of you, huh? All paid off. I don’t usually get this special treatment from my usual patients.”

“I’m n-not a usual… patient.” You hardly breathe out.

He grips both sides of your hips to make you stop in your movement and he shuffles a bit, not long after is he asking you, “Are you gonna be good from now on?”. You say yes, a thousand times over. He moves like he did before, only just picking up his thrusts quicker and quicker. The sound of his skin meeting yours makes its return only louder. “Yeah, guess you’re right. Couldn’t possibly be. You’re too special. Made just for me.”

“Yes *thrust* Captain! *thrust*”

His leg is raised to the side to get a better angle into your cunt and he feels a second orgasm quickly approaching. He’s so sweaty, drenched. His hair clings onto his forehead and his hands can barely take grip on your skin anymore. Fuck, he moans. He’s getting dizzy now. This is the best he’s felt in a while.

You, on the other hand, have your face pressed in the sheets with your orgasm on quick approach. You’re sensitive, too sensitive. And you cum with a loud whine, all your liquids spraying onto him like it was comical. He came not so far after you, with his head falling back and a breathy moan.

You both try to catch your breaths before he felt on top of you. He kissed your shoulder as his own little thank you and rolled over on the very much drenched mattress. You lay on top of him while your whole body shook and he quickly wraps his arm around your figure.

You both sit in a comfortable silence go try catching your breaths and try to pace yourselves so you could relax. And surprisingly, Law is the first to speak.

“Never pinned you for the jealous type.”

“Oh would you quit it already? You’re so good at ruining soft moments!” You push him lightly, you roll over on the other side of the mattress and he immediately grabs you back. He was so annoying.

If he asked you to stay with him, would you have done it? No, that was wishful thinking. He’s seen with his own very eyes how much Straw Hat loved you. This is the thing he dread the most about this, he shouldn’t have done it. He brought you into his own sick and dark fantasy of keeping you here just for him and now he regrets it completely. It was wishful thinking on his end, all of it.

“‘This a one time thing?” He asks to try and ground himself.

But you’re quick, “No, better not be!” You get up and sit on the bed, and he doesn’t understand how you’re up. He should be the one to get up. “Unless you declare me your enemy once I leave.” Your fingers are dancing on his chest, tracing the tattoos on his body, “But I’m fine with being with you like this. It can be our little secret anytime we see each other. Especially that captain thing, you freak.”

He laughs, and your words do bring him that relief. He pulls you by your arm for a tender kiss, something you were a bit surprised by.

He was fine with it, he’d take what he can get for now, as long it meant he could be with you.

[saessenach]

Thinking many thoughts about Miss Andarateia Cantori tonight because what do you mean we get to be in her house for the entire game, in which she and her boyfriend/partner-in-crime run a gambling den, assassin guild ANd find the time to argue with the public administration while opposing a military occupation?? who does it like her??

Joke aside, I think she's an incredibly fun character, and I'm really happy that hers was the lens through which we saw the Crows this game. Whenever I see random posts and critiques commenting that the Crows were too "sanitised" or "found-family", I want to yell a bit, because DATV never claims that to be the case!! Obviously everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but what we see is anchored in a very specific context: not just Treviso under Antaam occupation, but also the Cantori Diamond, which falls under Teia's jurisdiction.

She's an elven orphan turned Guildmaster and Talon, who desperately wanted to find family in the Crows! While the other Talons resisted her attempts at every step (some more succesfully than others ksks), that implies 1) her approach towards her own House was probably not dissimilar and 2) it got her the Talon position in her 20s. Ergo, her modus operandi was probably fairly successful.

For all that she threatens to evict anyone who treats her like a landlord (lol), the Diamond is very much a reflection of her as a character. It's all completely in line with both her general characterisation in 8 Little Talons and with the point she reaches at the end of that story when confronting Emil. I don't think it's a coincidence that out of our two POVs in 8LT, she's the one discussing Crow ideology with their would-be-murderer:

and

and

Following this particular set-up, of course orphans like Jacobus are treated kindly; of course fledglings have time to gossip in quiet corners while training; of course she helps the Dellamortes however she can?? She decided these people are family to her, and she wants to do better by them than what she got. This is wildly compelling to me personally, because she's such a delightful mix of idealism and disillusionment, honesty and manipulation, compassion and retribution - and she's so fucking obstinate about it!!!

There's also the little connection with the Crows' beginnings, specifically in Treviso. Iirc, it's mentioned in 8LT that her base is Rialto (she's also got gardens there), so a part of me wonders whether the Diamond was an inherited property from a previous Cantori Talon, or whether she got it up and running between then and the events of the game. I think that between that little tibdbit and with Lucanis being named First Talon at the end of the game, it's pretty obvious that the theme of rebirth is very much the point in the Crows' plotline - a messy, hopeful and spiteful rebirth.

All of this is to say, what we get doesn't at all negate the other aspects we've seen from the Crows in previous games, but rather puts them into perspective. The game just goes on to ask - isn't there another way to do this? what else is there room for us to be? is there any chance we might find some kindness in this world? and one of the ways these answers are explored is through Teia's character (we start this series with Zevran's story within the Antivan Crows - an elven orphan bought from a brothel, who doesn't have the power to change this guild, and end with Lucanis, Viago and Teia, who is, specifically, an elven orphan picked up (?) from the streets, who remains one of the powerhouses of the organisation. I love a bit of narrative symmetry ✨)

And honestly, I find this entire thing delightful - it's cheeky and dramatic and a lot of fun, and it makes sense for these characters, if you only sit with it for a second and give it a bit of thought!

(PS the way she draws Viago into her orbit and the way their partnership works is another rant entirely, and they drive me absolutely insane nghhh)

[dollopole]

I agree on every part! There are other fandoms that I know of that have good, well written and both long and short fanfictions and fanarts, which are Hannibal, Doctor Who and Sherlock! (Doctor Who, much like Star Trek, always dealt with heavy topics, so it’s only obvious that the fics, although I still haven’t read any, might be very good.)

These shows are a bit on the old side, so it’s possible that while you read some fics, you can fall in the stereotypes that @achillesuwu described in the beginning (which again, I’m not going to judge, because they speak of the year in which they were written, they paved the way, and everyone enjoys different things and that’s totally fine. Of course, objectively speaking and without the need to point it out in the comments or making someone feel bad, we can have opinions on what we can consider “good writing” and “bad writing” nowadays, especially since the time changes), but overall, with the amount of description, interiority, introspective of the characters that already exist in these shows, the fics should be very good! (I haven’t read any yet, because I still haven’t finished the shows, only Sherlock :))

These fandoms have talked about how good their fics are, especially Hannibal! And I checked some of these out and they’re very on the Merlin side! (the Hannibal ones are more on the poetry, long, heavy and dark side, which it’s a mirror of the show, so read with caution.)

Most of these shows were made in the same years as BBC Merlin (Colin Morgan was casted in BBC Merlin after he acted as a character in Doctor Who in 2008! And he nailed the job.)

This all falls in SuperWholock fandom/community! I grew up with these tv shows, so it’s only natural for me to go back on these ones as a recommendation.

Supernatural is another show that should have great fanfictions! The show is very long too, and people deem it good enough, I guess.

Having said this, I only ever watched Doctor Who, Star Trek and Sherlock and I can vouch only for the quality of the shows and films, but I read a lot about how great the fics are too (The Tenth Doctor played by David Tennant and Rose Tyler played by Billie Piper is a couple from the show Doctor Who and their fics are still in the top ten on Ao3, since the last time I checked. Not that it is enough to tell whether or not the fics are good, but I think it speaks a lot about them.)

How are BBC Merlin fanfic authors so good at writing ??? I swear ive never been in a fandom with this much quality content I’m gonna be fed for the next century

[nickeverdeen]

Fuck It | Ellie Williams x fem!reader

Pairings: Ellie x reader (freshly romantic)

Type of fic: Fluff

Warnings: Smoking

Summary: Being freshly in a relationship everything still feels a bit too amazing - which is not a bad thing - and when Ellie notices that her smoking near you is making you a bit uncomfortable she decides to cut back

Ps: As mentioned in the story, Ellie is not an addict

——————————

The relationship between you and Ellie was still new, the kind of fresh where every smile felt like sunshine and every touch carried an electric charge. You brought out a side of Ellie she wasn’t used to showing—a softer, lighter side she didn’t know she still had. You were bright, bubbly, and full of warmth in a way that made her think there might still be some good left in the world.

But there was one thing Ellie couldn’t help but notice.

It was small at first—just a slight wrinkle of your nose or a quick turn of your head whenever she lit a cigarette. You never said anything, but Ellie wasn’t clueless. You didn’t like the smell, and though you tried to hide it, your subtle reaction was enough to make her pay attention.

Ellie didn’t blame you. Smoking was a habit she picked up in Jackson, more out of boredom than anything else. She wasn’t addicted, but it had become a part of her routine. Still, the thought of bothering you—even in such a small way—didn’t sit right with her.

So one day, Ellie decided to stop.

It wasn’t a big declaration or a dramatic moment. She simply told herself, “Fuck it,” and tossed her last cigarette into the trash.

The first few days weren’t bad. Ellie wasn’t the type to chain-smoke anyway, but there were moments—quiet nights by the fire, a particularly frustrating day at patrol—when the familiar urge crept up. She’d shake it off, telling herself it wasn’t worth it, and if she ever gave in, she made damn sure you weren’t around.

She wasn’t hiding it from you, not really. If you asked, she’d tell you the truth. But the idea of smoking in front of you again, of seeing that tiny flash of discomfort on your face, was enough to keep her from lighting up in your presence.

One evening, the two of you were sitting on the porch of your shared space, the sky painted in hues of orange and pink as the sun dipped below the horizon. You were chatting away about something—probably the latest drama in Jackson—and Ellie found herself smiling at your energy.

Out of the blue, you turned to her and asked, “You stopped smoking, didn’t you?”

Ellie blinked, caught off guard by your sudden observation. “Yeah,” she admitted, scratching the back of her neck. “I mean… mostly. I still do sometimes, just not around you.”

You tilted your head, your expression soft but curious. “Why?”

Ellie shrugged, trying to play it cool. “I noticed it bothered you. Figured it wasn’t worth it.”

Your cheeks flushed, a mix of embarrassment and gratitude flooding your chest. “Ellie, you didn’t have to do that for me. I mean, it’s your thing, and I—”

“Yeah, I know,” Ellie cut in, her voice steady. “But I wanted to. You’re, uh… important to me. And if it’s something small like that, it’s not a big deal.”

You stared at her for a moment, your heart swelling at the quiet sincerity in her words. Then, without thinking, you reached out and grabbed her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” you said, your sunny smile lighting up your face.

Ellie rolled her eyes, but the faint blush creeping up her neck betrayed her. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

You laughed, leaning into her side as the two of you watched the sky fade into night. Ellie didn’t say it out loud, but in that moment, she knew she’d made the right choice. Giving up smoking—or at least cutting back—was nothing compared to seeing you happy.

And if she ever needed a reminder of why she’d quit, all she had to do was look at you.

[xoxochb]

dated february fourth

——— ౨ৎ ⊹ ࣪ ˖

dear diary,

I did absolutely nothing all day. and when I mean nothing I mean I rotted in bed all day with my stupid boyfriend he’s so stupid I like him a lot and I kissed him a little bit.

I got up once to take a shower because… well ew… percy always makes me sleep with three blankets on because he wants to sleep with three blankets but it gets sooooo hot on that damn bed!

and I told him that once— that it got too hot— and not to my surprise he made it into some dirty joke about having a different way to produce heat on the bed and so I slapped him in the head.

but moral of the story was that I was gross and sweaty so I had to take a shower. of course percy joined me because a shower without him wouldn’t be a shower at all. unless he’s back in new york, on rare occasions when I don’t go with him, then sometimes I can’t even find the motivation to leave his bed. I cry a lot when he’s gone. but I’ll never tell him that because it’ll inflate his ego. but I love my stupid boyfriend a lot.

anyways, after the shower percy left for a few minutes to get my breakfast because I was complaining about being hungry. so I ate waffles this morning. and like the gentleman he is he brought me a cup of coffee made just how I like it. I gave him a kiss on the forehead to express my gratitude.

and after breakfast we both passed out until one in the afternoon. it was a great nap. except for how I woke up with percy’s drool drenching through my/his shirt. usually I sleep naked because I know he’ll drool through my clothes and plus when I’m with him I can’t even find do that sorta thing.

sometimes I think we’re like a married couple. the only thing that’ll change when we get married though is that our promise rings will be wedding rings.

and we’ll live in a real house, not cabin three.

I talked to percy about my dream house a few times. I want a wrap around porch and a huge home library. he said he’d build them both for me if that would make me happy. I told him it would so he said he’d do it.

and I want a dog. a golden retriever they’re really cute and they remind me of percy. or maybe someday we’ll have kids. I’d like to see a little girl with his eyes and my hair that’d be cute.

but getting off track here— after the nap I read my book for an hour-ish. but percy got frustrated not being able to read the words so I closed it to read later. I never did get back to it though.

then after that we ate dinner early because we were hungry from not eating lunch. he made me pasta. I love pasta a lot. and they were heart shaped noodles. I was happy.

and after our four o’clock dinner we went back to his cabin and did some things. I’m not gonna write them down here though.

and then the time arrives to right now. percy went to get me ice cream. he’s even putting sprinkles in it for me! he’s very generous, sally raised him well. I thank her everyday.

well anyways… I should wrap this up before he comes back. which I assume will be soon unless he started to dilly-dally then I might be here for a while.

so until tomorrow, xoxo sweet girl!

[fernsnailz]

FEB 2025 SHOP INFORMATION/FAQ

i've been getting a lot of questions about the next plans for my shop recently, so i'm gonna go ahead and answer a lot of them here as to update everyone. yay

edit: putting this shit under a readmore. shoulda done that in the first place lmfao 💀💥

WHEN IS YOUR SHOP REOPENING? i don't know the exact date, but i'm gonna try to reopen late February or early March. no promises though, 2025 has been kinda hard on me so far and i might have to push it back.

WILL YOU BE SELLING PHYSICAL COPIES OF BORN TO FAIL? yeah. they'll be on pre-order again. i'll have some b-grades available at a discount too.

ARE YOUR OTHER KEYCHAINS/STANDEES/PREVIOUS THINGS YOU HAD IN YOUR SHOP RETURNING? yes, i haven't retired anything. however, some things will be on pre-order again and other items may be pretty low stock. the band standees in particular are REALLY low, i think i only have one team dark one left.

WILL YOU BE SHIPPING TO MORE COUNTRIES BESIDES JUST THE US AND CANADA? no. i'm really sorry, i know this is something a lot of people want but i cannot expand shipping to more countries right now. i keep shipping limited to the US and Canada to keep the scale of my shop manageable, because my shop is technically a side gig i do on top of freelance storyboard work. additionally, i quite literally cannot offer international shipping to most countries through bigcartel (the service where i host my shop) without having to jump through a million hoops to collect and remit a number of different taxes + tariffs and comply with every country's requirements for international commerce.

the EU and UK are particularly difficult to ship to right now due to the EU's new GPSR (general product safety regulations) and the UK's VAT (value added tax) (which i would be responsible for collecting and remitting since i run an e-commerce site located out of the UK). the short explanation is that even though these are the two main locations people request i expand shipping to, i literally cannot feasibly ship to the EU or UK through my current shop without facing huge legal and tax obligations.

the best way for me to expand international shipping would be to sell stuff through a different shop hosting service that either does the complicated stuff for the seller or places tariff and tax responsibilities on the buyer, but please know that i honestly just do not have the ability or time to do that right now. i'm really sorry again, but i'm not going to be offering shipping to more countries right now.

ARE YOU GONNA HAVE NEW ITEMS? yes. i already have a few things i designed for my last convention that i have yet to sell on my shop, like some bluey and mouthwashing charms.

there's also a bunch of new robot related things i really want to design (transformers stuff, nge things, misc. other robot stuff), but i haven't finished them. this is the main reason why my shop isn't opening for at least another few weeks - i haven't had time to design my self-indulgent robot merch lol

HEY IS THE TARIFF WAR THAT THE US IS WAGING ON CANADA MEXICO AND CHINA GONNA AFFECT YOUR SHOP? yeahhhhhh probably. for those who don't know: i am based in the US, and our stupid idiot shit for brains country recently placed some absolutely insane tariffs on imports from Canada, Mexico, and China. this led to all three of those countries implementing their own tariffs on US imports and a "trade battle" breaking out.

the short rundown is that the US' tariffs on Canada and Mexico were put on hold for 30 days, but if this battle continues after that then it will affect anyone in Canada who orders from me. i'll likely still be able to offer shipping to Canada, but if the tariff battle continues then Canadian customers at my shop will be responsible for paying any tariffs Canada imposes on US goods. and since the 10% tariff the US placed on China is still in effect, i might have to raise the prices of my keychains and standees a little bit since that's where i get those from.

ARE YOU GONNA BE TABLING AT ANOTHER CONVENTION ANYTIME SOON? the next convention i have lined up is Animazement (Raleigh NC) in May! i'll be tabling in the artist alley there. hopefully i'll be tabling at a few other events later in 2025, but we'll have to wait and see.

that's all for now! if i get more shop related questions beyond this, i'll probably add them to this post.

[anotherbabyhag]

Can you do the fluff and smut alphabets for Rio? I haven’t seen anyone else doing them 🥺

Rio Vidal Fluff and Smut Alphabets

Rio Vidal Fluff Headcanon Alphabet

A = Aroma (What do they smell like?)

I don’t think she necessarily has a particularly strong scent. Likely something faintly floral given her penchant for growing flowers.

B = Babe (What would they use as pet names? Do they use them a lot?)

My love, mi vida, mi amor, darling, and sweetheart would be her go to pet names. She does use them a lot, she thinks that makes it more intimate when decides to use your actual names.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Yeah for sure, she’s always touching you somehow. Her arm around you, her head on your shoulder. Spooning - she doesn’t mind who is which spoon, she loves to pull you close but also loves to be held by you.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? What would they think about living together?)

Yes absolutely. She wants desperately to make a little home for the two of you, and maybe a family later.

E = Emotion (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Very affectionate. She’s very touchy, but also quite liberal with verbal affection too.

F = Flirt (How do they flirt? Are they smooth or awkward?)

She’s not awkward but she’s intense. She comes on strong.

G = Gifts (Are they a gift giver? What kind of gifts do they give?)

Big gifts not as often but she’s always bringing (growing) you flowers. And also bringing you little trinkets she comes across - a bit like a crow does lol.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Yes definitely, she hugs you a lot as she loves to touch you. She’ll often come up and hug you from behind, you’re usually the first to pull away, she’d happily hold you forever.

I = I Love You (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Not fast. After Agatha she’s much more cautious, she’ll likely wait until you say it even if she’s felt it for much longer. But she’s happy to say “I need you” “I adore you” “I’m yours” etc instead.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Yeah she gets pretty jealous. Not so much when someone flirts with you, she trusts you and she likes to know she has someone who is coveted. But if you flirt back, even jokingly, she can get jealous and possessive. It makes her act sullen and bratty sometimes and aggressive and dominant other times.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you?)

She likes to kiss your lips and your neck. Usually her kisses can be soft and slow or hungry and desperate depending on the day.

L = Little ones (How are they around children? Would they want some of their own?)

She’s surprisingly good, kids respond well to her authenticity. Plus she’s had plenty of experience helping the souls of young children cross over when they pass. She’d love children of her own yeah.

M = Meet (How did they meet you?)

By chance. Perhaps you were on a walk in the forest - spending time in nature is one of the few times outside of her job that Rio leaves the realm of the dead to come to the mortal realm.

N = Nurture (Are they good at taking care of you if you’re hurt/sick?)

Yes, she fusses over you and brings you anything you might need.

O = Out (What’s a typical date night with them like?)

Rio likes staying in, cooking together then relaxing maybe playing board game or watching tv.

P = Propose (When do you/they propose? How does the proposal go?)

Marriage is a mortal thing so Rio doesn’t particularly care about it. You propose but more like a joke, just by saying “we should get married”. It had been a flippant comment but as you talked about it more it suddenly became a real, genuine idea.

Q = Quirk (What small habit/feature/quirk do they have that you find especially endearing?)

The way she says the most random/out of pocket things in normal conversations. You just don’t know what’s coming next.

R = Routine (What does a typical day together look like? Routines, schedules, habits?)

Rio works a lot but she always makes time for you with morning cuddles, having breakfast together. And she tries really hard to always be home when you go to sleep.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you?)

Veryyyyyy protective. She’ll use her magic to fuck up anyone who hurts you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, etc?)

She puts in a lot of effort, it’s her way of showing her love and devotion to you.

U = Unique (What’s something they’d only do for you?)

Opening up and sharing her emotions. After Agatha she swore she wouldn’t do that again, but for you she will.

V = Vulnerable (How long does it take them to feel comfortable being vulnerable around you?)

It takes a while, Agatha has hurt her so much that it takes her a long while to trust and open up to anyone again.

W = Wardrobe (What would they wear to impress you?)

She knows she’s attractive and she loves to wear revealing clothes to distract you and turn you on.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

When she’s got time she loves to bake and cook for you.

Y = You (What are some things they would like in a partner?)

Someone who will trust her and love her unconditionally. Someone who is quick and witty and can keep up with her chaotic habits and conversations.

Z = Zzz (What are their sleep habits?)

Rio can sleep but she doesn’t need to. She often likes to watch you (and cuddle you) while you sleep.

Rio Vidal Smut Headcanon Alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex?)

Depends on the sex but generally she’s cuddly and clingy, sometimes needing reassurance from you.

B = Body part (Favourite body part of their partner’s?)

Your lips and your neck.

C = Collar (Do they mark you as theirs in some way?)

No, she wouldn’t mind if you did to her though.

D = Dominant (Who is in control? Are they a top or bottom?)

The only thing stronger than Rio’s desire to submit is Rio’s desire to please. If she’s in a long term relationship with you, be prepared for her to sub at least half the time. But satisfying her switchy partner’s need to be dominated is not only something she’s willing to do but something she actually enjoys, even if only because of how much you enjoy it. Because of who she is, Rio doesn’t do anything by halves and being dominant when you ask for it is no exception. She’s very skilled but needs a lot of reassurance afterwards - yes you liked it, yes she did a good job, no she didn’t go too far etc.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

She’s not super experienced. Agatha was her first. She had a few lacklustre (for her not for them) flings while Agatha had the darkhold. This is not something she has repeated after the events of Agatha All Along. However, Agatha was an excellent teacher and anything Rio lacks in experience she makes up for in enthusiasm and desire to please.

F = Fuck (Do they prefer to fuck or make love?)

Both. If she’s feeling jealous she’ll definitely prefer to fuck. Otherwise, it’s down to what you’d prefer.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous?)

Rio is pretty serious. Sex is her way of expressing devotion and intimacy so she takes it seriously.

H = Hot (What turns them on, gets them going?)

Being teased, dirty talk, being dominated.

I = Insatiable (How do they act when they’re desperate to have you?)

She gets super handsy, sits on your lap, kisses your neck etc.

J = Jack off (Masturbation headcanon?)

She doesn’t do it often, only when she’s really desperate. She likes to drag it out and get lost in her fantasies, she hopes you’ll walk in on her and help her out.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks?)

Being dominated, teasing and being teased, edging.

L = Location (Favourite places to have sex?)

At home in bed for a proper fuck. But she’ll happily go down on you or finger you just about anywhere.

M = Mood (What’s the foreplay like? How do you get them in the mood?)

You tease her, lots of kisses, light/teasing touches, dirty talk.

N = Naked (How do they undress? Do they like to watch you undress?)

She likes to watch you undress and will put on a show for you if you want. Other times it’s rushed and desperate, clothes being flung or ripped off.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill?)

She likes both equally and is very skilled at eating you out.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

Both. Depends on the day and what kind of sex you’re having.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often?)

She’s not a fan of them herself. She’d rather you take your time with her. She’ll do them when really desperate though. She’s also happy to eat you out or finger you wherever and whenever you want with the promise that you’ll return the favour later.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?)

Yeah she’s up for experimenting. Like anyone she has her limits but outside of that she will try anything you’re interested in.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

She lasts a while, especially if you’re good at drawing it out. She’s pretty much keen to go as many rounds as you want but her preference is 2-3.

T = Tryst (Are they into casual sex or one night stands?)

Nope. She’s had a few and never found them fulfilling or satisfying. She’d rather have a long term partner.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease?)

Rio loves to tease, she gets an ego boost from having you desperate and begging.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make?)

She’s very loud/vocal. Lots of moaning, whining, cursing, and begging.

W = Wait (How long do they wait before having sex with their partner for the first time?)

Not long, once she’s made up her mind that she wants you she doesn’t see any point in delaying it. It takes her much longer to open up emotionally than it does for her to sleep with you.

X = X-ray (What’s going on under those clothes?)

When she wears underwear they’re black or green lace, matching sets.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It's pretty high when she’s in a relationship, she’s so desperate for her lover. When she’s single it’s not so extreme - she doesn’t seek out casual sex, she does masturbate when she needs to but it’s not often.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards?)

As she doesn't need to sleep she prefers to just cuddle with you until you fall asleep.

[cloudlessly-light]

The deprived agreement of the BAU (One-shot)

A/N: I think this one might actually be the most unhinged thing I’ve ever written and I know there’s a special place in hell for me. But we thank @sapphoe-sun for encouraging this piece of filth, and I hope you guys still like it even if we know this is no logic and all filth!

Title: The deprived agreement of the BAU Summary: They had a rule, an agreement within the BAU, a rule Emily thought was a rumor. As it turned out it wasn’t and now she’s agreeing to that rule.   Word count: 5,3k   Rating: Explicit Warnings: Smut, dirty talk, oral sex, rough sex, orgasm control, begging, exhibionism, Derek is there for a little bit but he doesn’t join

There was a rumor within the Bureau about the BAU. When Emily joined the team she heard whispers about it, saw the curious glances from people certain days and picked up on the subtle hints from JJ to not push her team, especially Aaron, too hard. But she never believed it. Because it would be insane, that their small team had a rule that meant they were allowed to do whatever they wanted to another team member, within reason of course. She remembered scoffing at the ridiculousness of it, because it couldn’t be true.

But then Derek is pissed off at JJ for not having Reid’s back when they encountered Tobias Hankle and the blonde walked with a slight limp the next day. And maybe Emily believed it a little more. It still didn’t make sense to her, she didn’t want to believe it.

It’s Penelope who finally comes out and tells her, the bubbly blonde admitting it after Emily had probed her about it. They had a rule, an agreement, that if someone from the team made a mistake that became dangerous for the rest, or made another teammate upset in some way, they had to apologize in whatever way they saw fit. It was not something that was a common occurrence, the rule had rules to make sure that it wouldn’t get out of hand. But it was there, an agreement between the six of them, and now Emily could be a part of that agreement if she wanted to.

Emily still had trouble believing it, listening to the blonde with her mouth open and eyes wide. It didn’t make sense to her, and yet it did. They were all close, they worked together closely, they were bound to get on each other’s nerves. According to Penelope this had been the way it was for years, since long before she joined the team even, and everyone always had the option to say no.

It wasn’t something that would be forced upon them.

“Are the apologies, or whatever you want to call it, always sexual?” She heard herself say and even she couldn’t deny the curiosity in her voice.

“No, Hotch never uses sex since he was married to Haley. Not sure if he’d still do that even now. And for everyone else it depends, I once had Gideon clean my apartment dressed in a bird’s costume.” The blonde smirks at the way Emily bursts out laughing.

“You didn’t.” She isn’t sure she wants to believe her, but Penelope didn’t lie. It’s the first time she sees the slightly sadistic side of her friend’s personality.

“Sure did, sweet cheeks.”

Weeks go by, then months and Emily almost forgot about what Penelope had told her because nothing seems to happen within the team, even though there’s arguments and disputes, she can’t see any evidence of anybody making up with another team member. Until it happens to her.

She had questioned Aaron in the field, then outright disobeyed his order to wait for backup and she and Derek had run in. She didn’t think it mattered, because she got a child home safe which hadn’t felt like a possibility if she had waited. But he’s furious at her, eyes dark and frown heavy as he speaks to her with clipped words.

“My office when we get back.”

She’s heard those words before, after all it wasn’t the first time they’d had a disagreement, so she doesn’t think much of it. It’s JJ’s warning stare and Derek’s poorly hidden smirk that tips her off. And she feels a lump of excitement as well as worry in her stomach.

She knew that she could say no, that Aaron wouldn’t force her into anything. No one of them ever would. And yet she feels the steady pulse of arousal between her thighs as she sits by herself on the plane. Aaron is seated on the opposite side of the plane, anger still very much radiating from him. They had never really liked each other, she knew he hated her stubbornness and that she would spit the word sir at him with contempt when she felt like he was being unreasonable. She hated his arrogance and the way he clearly didn’t trust her completely yet. And still, there was friction between them, the sort of tension she found herself thinking about as she laid alone in bed with her own hand between her thighs.

“Hey, are you alright?” JJ asks quietly as she passes her from the way to the bathroom and breaking her out of her thoughts.

“Yeah, I’m good.” She offers the blonde a smile when blue eyes stare her down. “Penelope told me about… your agreement.”

“I know.” She shrugs with a smile. “And she told you that you don’t have to, right?”

“It’s okay JJ, don’t worry.” She leans back into her seat and lets her head roll slightly with a smirk. “Besides, it’s Hotch, he’s as uptight as they come. How bad could it be.”

Famous last words.

When they get back it’s still early afternoon so the bullpen is buzzing with activity. She doesn’t think much of it as she puts her bag down and then climbs the stairs toward his office where the door is left open for her. He’s already seated at his desk, a large pile of files in front of him and his pen in hand.

“Garcia told me you’re informed about the deal we have within the team.” He doesn’t even look up at her and it makes her blood boil. His arrogance once again managing to set her off.

“I am.” She doesn’t walk closer to him than she has to, the door is still open behind her and she’s acutely aware of the people working behind her in the bullpen.

“Do you want to be a part of it?” He looks up at her then and she sees the way he’s studying her to make sure she’s not lying.

“I do.” She swallows hard as nerves twist in her stomach, still unsure about what’s going to happen, still finding this whole idea close to insane.

“Good.” He looks down at the open file in front of him again and signs something quickly. “Be ready at 6.”

The finality of it makes her heart beat so hard in her chest she thinks her ribs might break.

She finds herself lost in her own thoughts for the rest of the afternoon. The hours drag by slowly as she works her way through a few consultations. Spencer and Derek are quick to pick up on her mood, but none of them were surprised. The first time was always nerve wracking, not fully knowing what to expect, not sure what was going to happen.

She catches Dave giving her a quick grin before leaving for the night and she realizes that it’s getting late. There are still people working, Derek is hunched over a large pile of files, JJ is still in her office, a few straggling agents are still working behind her. But it’s 5:59 pm and she stands from her desk. Her stomach is still in knots, adrenaline making her hands shake and she clenches them quickly once, twice, three times, before knocking on his office door.

“Come in.” His voice is muffled through the door and she takes a deep breath before opening the door and then closing it quickly behind her. She looks around and notices that the desk had been cleaned from the items that usually belonged there. He had shut the blinds over an hour ago, his suit jacket was hanging over the back of his chair and he had rolled up his sleeves. She stands firm as he stands from behind his desk and slowly walks closer to her. He doesn’t stop until he’s close enough for her to smell his cologne. He’s just to the side of her, his breath falling onto the side of her neck as he speaks. Imposing and strong and she has to fight the urge to close her eyes as goosebumps erupt on her skin.

“Tell me why you’re here.” He says lowly as his hand hover over the small of her back.

“Why don’t you tell me.” She mutters and immediately she feels his large hand on the back of her neck, gripping hard enough for her to hiss as he forces her toward the desk.

“This is exactly why you’re here. You’re insubordinate, you lack respect and today you put yourself and Derek in danger while defying a direct order.” His voice is graveled and low, almost threatening and she squirms. “I’ve been nice, I’ve given you time to learn and adjust and clearly that isn’t working. And don’t think I haven’t heard you calling me uptight more than once.”

When his hold on her neck loosens she barely registers it before he turns her around to face him. He’s imposing as he looms over her, pressing her against his desk as she leans back slightly.

“That’s not really-”

“So you’re here to apologize. You’re here for me to loosen up.” He grabs her chin tightly and speaks close to her face. “You’re here for me to use until I’ve had my fill.”

She hates that her panties are uncomfortably wet as her clit thrums between her thighs already, because she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“But only if you agree.” He softens just slightly then and she’d nodding without realizing, a smirk on her face as she does.

“You want a toy, is that it?” She challenges him and she sees his eyes harden as his grip on her face tightens.

“The only words I want to hear from you are yes sir, I’m sorry or if you want to stop.” His eyes fasten on hers, his dark orbs so intense she has to force herself not to look away. “Do I make myself clear?”

The seconds it takes for her to answer feels like an eternity. She hadn’t known what to expect, but it hadn’t been this, and yet she’s so turned on it’s ridiculous. She knew that she had always been attracted to power, but this was something else. This felt like a need, something she wasn’t sure Aaron should know about her, it was almost embarrassing, how insanely turned on she was despite herself.

“Yes, sir.” The words fall from her lips effortlessly and she wonders if this is what insanity feels like. Because this shouldn’t be happening, her boss shouldn’t have this effect on her, he shouldn’t be looking at her with such contempt and yet the evidence of his want is pressed against her hip.

His lips curl into a smile that she’d only call feral and he snickers at her as he steps away, giving her a second to catch her bearings.

“Unbutton your shirt and take of your pants and underwear. Leave the shirt and bra.” His eyes stay on hers as she stares at him for a moment. “This is the way you’re making today up to me, do not make it more difficult on yourself.” He lets his hand hover over his belt and he nods as she catches on with wide eyes. “I will use it, don’t think I won’t.”  

Her hands are still trembling when she starts to unbutton her shirt, the black button down soon enough hanging loosely from her shoulders like he told her before she takes her pants off. Her entire body flushes as he looks at her expectantly when her fingers above the lining of her underwear.

“I’m being nice because it’s your first time, but if you stall for another second I swear I won’t be so nice.” His own hand still hovers over his belt and when Emily slowly drags her white panties off and then kneels in front of him he hums approvingly.

“Pretty.” He comments and she glares at him. It doesn’t have the desired effect with her dressed in only a bra on her knees and she knows it. But she doesn’t say anything, and instead waits for his next move. Her eyes flitter down to where his hand is still holding his belt buckle, down where she sees the outline of him, thick and long, even through his underwear and slacks.

“Open up.” He looks amused when she looks back up at him, arrogance radiating off him as he drags the zipper of his pants down and then gets his cock out through it. “Don’t make a mess though.”

Anger flashes in her dark orbs but she still stays quiet. Because she had agreed to be a part of this, she didn’t want to stop, and she did not want that belt around his hips to be used on her. But that didn’t mean that she didn’t hate him a little bit right then. Not because of what he’s wanting from her, but because she wanted it too.

Slowly, her lips open and he grabs her hair and angles her head back. She gasps at the pain in her hairline and he takes advantage of it, his hips pushing forward as he keeps her still with his grip. He’s heavy and hot on her tongue, his shaft sliding forward until he hits the back of her throat with a groan.

“Stay just like this.” He mutters quietly, his eyes fastened on her face as he starts to move. When she chokes he smirks. There was something about having Emily Prentiss, hard-headed, overachieving, button-pushing Emily, on her knees before him. He had waited for this, knew that eventually the day would come when she ignored his orders in such a way that it put her in danger. And he had waited, and planned, and now as he watched her try to hide just how much she was enjoying it he couldn’t believe how fucking good it felt.

She isn’t aware that her hands are gripping the fabric of his slacks as she gags around him. He’s thick, huge, and all she can focus on is to get enough air in her lungs whenever he pulls back enough for her to draw a few breaths. Spit is dripping down her chin, and somewhere in the back of her mind she knows that not making a mess is impossible.

“You know I’m almost tempted to finish just like this.” He speaks almost conversationally, like he didn’t have his cock down her throat as she struggles beneath him. When her eyes, glassy from tears look up at him through her long eyelashes, he flashes her a grin. “But where would the fun in that be, huh?” He pushes forward harder and when her eyes widen and he goes as deep as he could down her throat he hisses in pleasure.

“Fuck yeah, I knew you’d be able to take it.” He pulls back and releases her hair and she immediately starts coughing, her hands still firmly gripping his slacks and her forehead leaning against his thigh as she gasps.

He strokes her hair as she calms for a few moments and when she lets go of him he angles her face up by a hold on her chin.

“Lay on the desk.” His voice is thick with want, graveled in a way that makes her shiver and for a moment she wonders if she’ll ever get to hear it like that again after tonight.

Her knees buckle when she stands, lightheaded and dazed. He doesn’t give her more time though, and forcefully pushes her back against the desk with a hand on her sternum. The wood is cold against her thighs and ass, her shirt still hanging loosely from her shoulders as she lays back.

“Spread your legs.” He strokes his cock as he watches her, from the slight nerves he sees on her face, to the flush on her skin, to her breasts, barely contained in the lacy white bra, down to where he sees her slick is shining on her inner thighs as she spreads her legs for him. If they ended up here again he would take his time and taste her, but this wasn’t about her, this was about him and what he wanted. And right now he wanted Emily Prentiss to beg, to let go of her prestige and stubbornness, for her to know who truly was in charge and to never disobey his orders again.

“My my, you’re a mess.” He bites back a smirk when the pink on her cheeks flushes harder. He slaps the tip of his cock on her clit and when she jerks he can’t help but to chuckle. “I had a feeling this would get you going, that you’d enjoy this.”

“I’m not.” She lies through clenched teeth and he laughs at her, the sound close to condescending.

“Is that so?” He grabs her hips and pulls her to the edge of the desk. He lets his fingers dig into the muscle, makes sure to leave bruises on her soft skin as he does. “Well lucky for me this isn’t about you then huh?”

She’s pretty sure she hates him, hates that this side of him exists because she isn’t sure how she’ll ever be able to be in the same room as him without thinking about the gravel in his voice, the way he’s effortlessly driving her mad with want and he’s barely even touched her. Then she feels him, the tip of him just barely pushing in and she releases a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

“Soaked and tight, perfect little play thing.” He can see her bite back a retort, that she more than anything wants to tell him to fuck off, but she doesn’t and instead looks of to the side in a vain attempt to hide her face from him. “None of that.” He grabs her jaw and she looks up at him with eyes blown black. “You’re going to look at me until I’m done with you.”

Her eyes widen at the sudden stretch of him, the fill making her hips twitch and a low moan escapes from her lips. He’s huge and he’s looking close to smug as he stares down at her, giving her a few seconds before he starts to move. His hands stay on her thighs, pulling her body against his as he groans.

Soon enough she’s sweating and biting back moans that would be too loud, her hands grabbing the edge of the desk in some futile attempt to keep grounded. Her eyes are heavy lidded as she continues to look up at him. He’s sweating, his head thrown back as some of his dark hair is falling over his forehead, and he still manages to exude power and arrogance.

“You’re doing better than I thought.” He bends down to speak lowly against her face. “I was sure you’d give me more trouble, but you’re listening to the rules. Good.”

“What’s the point of agreeing to this if I wouldn’t?” She counters, her voice breathy and trembling slightly. She was still fighting her body’s urges, she didn’t want him to get the satisfaction of knowing how much she was enjoying it, so she had kept most of her moans down. Her bottom lip is swollen from biting down on it, her muscles tense from keeping the pleasure at bay.

It didn’t matter though, because she wasn’t able to come without touching her clit, she never had. She wanted to touch herself though, the tension in her stomach was building by each thrust of his hips. Her hands grip the desk harder, her thighs are trembling and even though she was trying to hide her slight desperation it was useless.

“You’re going to drip on my floor soon. It’ll leave a nice stain, serve as a reminder for you every time you’re in here.” He slows his thrusts slightly and catches the way her breathing hitches. If he wanted to he could finish quickly, use her and leave her desperate for more, but a part of him wasn’t satisfied with that, he needed more.

“What are you doing?” She gasps at the way he slaps the outside of her thigh in response to her question, the sting of it letting her know that there will be a red mark from his palm on her skin.

“Tell me how much you like it.” His voice holds a slight edge to it and she licks her bottom lip, but ultimately shakes her head. Still defiant, still in need of a lesson, he thought. The desk rattles from the power of his next thrust and Emily can’t hold back the breathy whimper as her back arches.

“You will beg Emily.” He breathes against her ear as he bends over her again. His shirt itches against her sweaty skin, his low groans fill her ears and his cologne surrounds her. He’s everywhere, all she can feel and her eyes roll back in her head. Somewhere in the back of her mind she’s thankful that he doesn’t see it.

“You’re soaking my cock, you’re clenching me so good, I know you want to come for me, to show me how much you love it.” He mumbles quietly and her moans become breather, needier, at satisfaction fills him at the sound. “You’re desperate for it, for me.”

When he straightens again, there’s a gleam in his eyes that makes her pay attention and then he lets go of her thigh with one hand and she watches as he lets his thumb hover over her clit. She holds her breath, her eyes moving from his hand to his face as she waits for his next move. If he started to rub her clit she would come without a doubt and if he didn’t he’d have her on edge without the release her body was craving. She wasn’t sure which was worse.

“Oh that’s what you need huh?” He chuckles and slowly brushes her swollen clit up and down once and her eyelids futter closed. “Tell me what I want to hear and you’ll get what you need.”

“No.” She whines without realizing, her voice low and breathy and he clicks his tongue in condemnation.

“So be it.” His grip on her is on the verge of too tight when he grabs her around the hips instead. He starts to fuck into her with powerful thrusts, skin slapping against skin and heavy breaths filling the office.

“Jesus, fuck!” She cries out, unable to hold back this time. Each time he fills her she gets closer, much to her own frustration because her orgasm was just out of reach. But she wouldn’t beg, that much she refuses to do.

“You’re clenching so good on my cock.” He pants, a smug grin on his face. “You’re so close, so needy.”

“Fuck you.” She seethes and in the blink of an eye his hand is wrapped around her throat in warning.

“Don’t forget why you’re in here.” He squeezes hard around her throat and she whimpers as her eyes close. “You’re just something for me to use, don’t forget that.” He lets go and watches with satisfaction as she draws a few desperate, deep breaths and her pussy clenches harder around him.

She bites her tongue to keep her retort back, because she was dangerously close to crossing the line, to start taunting him right back but for her own enjoyment. Her hips buckles against his, the tension in her stomach is feeling like a boulder and she knows that if he doesn’t come soon, she’ll be giving in to him. He seems to sense it, because his thumb is back on her clit, gently tracing it and watches as her entire body trembles. Satisfaction in dripping off him and his hips speed up as she just barely swallows down his name.

“You’re so fucking close, look at you.” His voice is thick with tension and she barely keeps from agreeing this time.

And then there’s a knock on the door, forcing both of them to stop.

“Hotch I know you’re in there with Prentiss. Can I come in?” Derek’s voice sounds through the door and Aaron turns to her with a smile.

“Should I let him in?”

“I-I.” She mutters but can’t seem to form words. All she could think about was how much she wanted to come, how badly she needed to come. “I don’t know.” She finally gets out and he hums lowly.

“I think he should, I think he deserves to see you like this after today, after all you put him in danger too.” He waits for her to say no, to shake her head or disagree but it doesn’t come. Instead the flush on her cheeks enhances and she nods once. When he pulls out of her she gasps and he shakes her head at her before moving to open the door.

“We’re in the middle of it still.” He tells the other man, wanting to give him a chance to walk away, but Derek only grins at him. “Want to come in?”

“Absolutely.” He quickly closes the door after himself and locks it. “So you finally decided to use our little rule for your own pleasure huh?” He grabs Hotch’s chair and rolls it to the side so he can watch Emily properly, the files he had come in to leave forgotten in his hand.

“I did, it was time.” Aaron slides inside of her like he hadn’t stopped in the first place. “But she’s still subordinate.” He gives Emily a stare and she swallows hard.

“Of course she is.” Derek looks at her, finally addressing her. “Looking good Princess, having a nice time?”

She glares at him and he laughs as he leans back in the chair, enjoying the show.

“She’s close, refuses to admit it though.” Aaron’s thrusts are slower, deep pushes of his hips as his hand press down low on her stomach, earning a guttural groan from her. He keeps pressure on her stomach and lets his thumb rub circles around her clit again as he watches her intently as her entire body reacts to the stimulation.

“Always stubborn, why would you do that to yourself?” Derek winks at her when all she does is moan something resembling a curse in his direction. She is tense and trembling, her skin shining with sweat, make up smudged and hair wild.

“So fucking tight.” Aaron starts to move a little faster as Emily’s moans become louder as she stops trying to hold back. “Beg for it.”

“Hotch, fuck!” She’s getting so close, her body twisting in pleasure as the tension builds steadily. The little break she got while Aaron was letting Derek in, somehow had made her body even more sensitive and she felt every ounce of pride dissipate by every passing second.

“Getting closer.” He would laugh at his own pun if he wasn’t so focused on the way her eyes were rolling back in her head and her jaw was turning slack.

“Come on, let us hear it.” Derek chimes in, he’s stood up but stays back, still respecting that this was Emily’s apology to Aaron and not to him. He didn’t need it.

“Fuck, p-please!” She finally gives in and instead of getting what she wants, Aaron stops rubbing her clit and laughs as she cries out in disappointment.

“Now that wasn’t so hard was it?” He wipes some sweat from his forehead before grabbing her hips to keep her still as he continues to thrust. His own orgasm was building, each thrust getting him closer. “Again.”

Her jaw clenches as she stares up at him in disbelief, then it dawns on her that this was what he wanted all along, her desperate and begging for him. This was her actual way of making today up to him. If she hadn’t already been so delirious she would have been furious, but she didn’t think she could stand not getting to come, and having Derek there, watching her, was only enhancing that feeling. She didn’t think she would enjoy being watched, she didn’t think she’d find that out by being fucked in her boss’s office while her friend was watching, but here they were and she was sure she’d never recover if Aaron didn’t let her come.

“Please, make me come.” She relents and through the blood rushing through her ears she hears Derek chuckle and Aaron mutter words of encouragement.

“Good girl. Now tell me what I want to hear.” He fucks into her hard enough for her body to jolt and she mewls.

“I- I like it, fuck I love it.” She whimpers and he rewards her by starting to rub her clit again, this time with more pressure. Her eyes are wild and wide when she looks up at him, and she sees the same wild expression on him, even in a rumpled suit and heavy breaths.

“That’s right. And you’ll listen to me from now on? Follow my orders?” He’s so close his knees are buckling, hips stuttering but he needs to hear her say it.

“Yes, yes, yes. I won’t disobey you again.” She feels pleasure everywhere, and then he’s rubbing her clit faster and she grunts loudly, only seconds from coming.

“I think we both know that’s a lie. But you should be nice, she’s desperate for it.” Derek’s voice sounds muffled in her ears, her entire focus on Aaron.

“We do, but it’s her first time. I won’t be so nice next time.” If he hadn’t been so damn close himself he would have stopped. But his need for pleasure wins out and he looks down at Emily who’s dangerously close to coming and it felt so fucking good having her like this. Finally she’s giving in to him, giving him what he’s been wanting for months.

“Please, Aaron please!” She writhes and it’s the sound of his name falling from her lips that does it.

“Come for me.” He says and like her body is trained she comes with her head thrown back and a silent scream. She clenches around his cock and it’s enough to send him over the edge as well and he pushes as deep inside of her as he can. He growls something resembling her name as he gives in to his orgasm and through the pounding in his ears he hears her breathing hitch at the heat of his release inside of her.

By the time he feels like he can move without falling down, Derek is sneaking out through the door, the files he came in with sitting at the edge of the desk and Emily is panting and dazed as she looks up at him.

“Well, that was, something.” She jokes and he chuckles breathlessly, still not moving away from her.

“Tell me what you learned.” He takes her hand and pulls her into a sitting position, her face close to his.

“To listen when you give me an order.” She smirks as he nods and then steps away from her. She shivers at the loss of him inside of her but barely a moment later he’s pulling her to stand.

“Don’t think we’re done yet.” He whispers against her face before pushing on her shoulder until she kneels on her own accord. “I said you’d be here until I’ve had my fill.” He gasps at the feel of her tongue around him. “We’re nowhere close to done.” Emily really didn’t see a problem with that.

[canadaxed]

Lucy is an Ancient!.... theory.

you might like this if you: really like the idea of eldritch beings falling in love with some normal ass dude who is totally unaware.

I also posted this all on the Klei forums, which might be easier to read for some people. Click here for that version.

A while ago I posted: "someone remind me to make a post on my theory about Lucy being an Ancient" and I finally got around to it! Feel free to read. It's a long one, but the main timeline for the idea is in the last paragraphs if you want to skip ahead.

Here's the theory now:

Hey gang, I figured I'd post this theory I have. I dunno if anyone else has picked up on it, I didn't find anything myself. I'm gonna try my best to explain why I believe Lucy the Axe could be..... an Ancient!! Like the spirit of the Shadow Maul or Reaper. 

First things first, lets start with Woodie, the scraps of lore we have for him, and what Lucy means to him.

We know that the survivors entering the Constant (at least in the DS era) have a pattern of wanting something, or being emotionally vulnerable- and this is typically what Maxwell preyed on to get them into the Constant. 

In Walter's short, we get a glimpse of Woodie's cabin. He has references to his family being from Scotland in it, various stereotypical Canadian British Columbian Guy decor, two very conspicuous chairs in the main room.... and "Lucy's" outside.

That's right... Woodie never took the physical "Lucy" with him. I put Lucy in quotation marks because we don't know if Lucy was always his axe... or if she was the person that second chair in his home belonged to.

The guy went deep into an uninhabited forest to get away from people, why would he have two chairs in his home right next to each other? Pair this with with how he leaves his red "Lucy" axe outside, rather than having left her on the chair or something like one might if they were romantically invested in something.

Keep this in mind too when considering whether Lucy could’ve been a real person or was always an axe.

Now, putting the pieces we have so far together, one could follow this story pretty easily:  Woodie lost his wife and was reminiscing on memories of her while listening to the radio, which was the prime moment for Maxwell to swoop in with the promise of reuniting them.

Don't Starve fans might be skeptical for a few reasons: DS fans are split pretty evenly between wanting Woodie to be "just some funny guy" and also desperately wanting more information on this mysterious Lumberjack. When you put this theory into perspective, it all feels too easy; or it just feels wrong to completely blow open a huge point in Woodie's lore that is otherwise kept close to Klei's chest. 

Secondly, somewhat related to the first point: Klei's got plans in motion for their lore. The idea of even the gameplay of the world is that you start out knowing nothing, and slowly, SLOWLY, you gain more information. Even then, though, the game becomes more complex and deep. Essentially the team's been doing the same thing with their lore. Whether they only had a loose idea at the beginning and are now really hitting the road running with the direction they want to go in terms of lore, or if they always had an idea for it: they've been giving us glimpses of it over the past... 12 years? We've never gotten the full picture even after all this time, all these shorts and expansions. And each new bit of lore that gets revealed, there's another complexity added to it. Again, people might be thinking "this is just too easy a conclusion to come to, I could've thought of that." 

They might just really be banking on Woodie's general obscurity in relation to the main story as a way to give him a lot of interesting tidbits that people won't immediately dissect.

Thirdly: I'm just one person posting something on the internet. I could just be way too much of a fan of Woodie and reading too much into all this. And I could totally be wrong or be wrong about some things and right about others. Either way, I don't anticipate getting any answers from Klei for a long time if at all, which only adds to skepticism. 

(If you ask me, Don't Starve and its short animations/puzzles/lore drops are begging to be nitpicked.)

So lets back-track a little and talk about why Klei might've decided to drop so much potential, very vital Woodie lore in this one short. (AKA: the Woodie Tangent part of this theory thread, cus I love him)

If you've seen the short animations on Youtube, you might go to the comment sections here and there to get a general community consensus on them or the character. The comments are overwhelmingly positive and a lot praise how the lore is being handled. 

Then you get to Woodie's very own animated short.... 

If you've seen it, you know it's a silly animation where Woodie , in the Constant (unlike other shorts til then), is chopping trees and gets attacked by a tree guard. He uses his three wereforms to fight it, and overall its a pretty fun time. The comments are mostly positive, but a lot expressed disappointment in not getting any more lore about Woodie. He's a very mysterious character, even despite having one of the longer character bios in the game. 

So, eventually Walter comes along. A young boy from Canada, part of a boy scouts troop, really into monsters. If the developers didn't have Woodie in mind when making Walter, they ended up becoming very intertwined character and story-wise anyway. Klei being the cheeky devils they are, decided that if people wanted Woodie lore so bad, they'd get it.... via Walter's short. We only get a few glimpses at background things (we might've even got a hint that Woodie lives on vancouver island) but to Klei, that's enough. Clearly we've gotta do something with what we got. 

But even Walter's short didn't give us enough for full answers to anything.

Let's move on and get to the real stuff: Lucy, Maxwell, and the Ancients.

The Ancients in Don't Starve lore refers to a powerful society of bug people that existed in the Constant long, long ago. They went extinct because of their over-reliance on nightmare fuel, which brought them from famine and gave them great magic and technology that allowed them to live in a bustling utopia, for a while.

We see an ancient in the metaphysical "flesh" in Hamlet as the Ancient Herald. We also know that the spirits that embody such weapons as the Shadow Maul or Shadow Reaper were once ancients, and their souls were probably in the pure horror/dark tatters used to create those items. 

Anyway, the reason why they matter in this instance is because the only other living, talking tools we know about in the game are the Shadow Maul and Shadow Reaper, who both happen to have special dialogue for Woodie. They’re possessive over him, and jealous of and particularly spiteful towards Lucy. They’re also made with dark magic, unsurprisingly, and that’ll come into play later in terms of my theory for Lucy’s existence. I’m noting now that the Shadow Reaper/Maul and Lucy all have a nonchalance about them and are eager to be used. Also, that they all feature red prominently in their designs.

As fun as I find all these personality similarities though, we won’t talk about them much. Here are these comparisons for the hell of it:

Shadow Reaper quote:   "We make a good team, no matter how you ssssslice it." Lucy quote:   “We make a good team!"

Shadow Maul quote:   "Ch- cho- chop. CHOP!"   "Ch- chop tree... CHOP TREE!"   "CHOP! CHOP! CHOP!" Lucy quote:   "Chop chop chop. Heh."   "Chop, c-c-chop!"

Also on this point of Lucy being a magical item, remember how she will always disappear in the world if Woodie’s gone too long and be replaced by a normal axe. If Woodie tries to use any normal axe that isn’t her, she immediately disappears from where she was last dropped and poofs right into Woodie’s hands in place of that axe.

Alongside this, typically you can only carry/have one Lucy at a time, and she does have special dialogue if you can somehow hold another one.

So, we’ve established the similarity between the talking items. Keep in mind that its established now that inhabitants of the Constant can summon the souls of the Ancients to be used as objects with dark magic.

Moving on…

Its safe to say Maxwell couldn’t manipulate too much beyond the confines of the Constant and his portals and the radios, like we see with him needing Willow and Wilson’s help.

He also can’t seem to drag anyone into the Constant whose name doesnt start with W. Also, whenever Maxwell “fulfills a wish” in order to get a survivor into the Constant, it always comes with a twist. (If Woodie didnt want anything new or different from his current life, he wouldn’t have been lured in. If Woodie just wanted his axe to actually talk to him, he wouldn’t just be given that no strings attached. If Woodie wanted someone back and was promised they’d be in the Constant, why not turn them into his axe, which as a lumberjack he’s metaphorically married to?)

The possibility of Maxwell dragging Lucy’s spirit into the world alongside Woodie is feasible, considering Wendy and Abigail’s situation. But if that were the case, then why not let her stay as a spirit attached to Woodie, rather than having to construct an entirely new form of axe? Because remember, Woodie didn’t bring his real axe into the Constant with him.

You could argue: “because he’s bored. Lol.” and to that i say….. Yeah true lol. Work with me here! 

Here’s another potential point towards Lucy’s spirit being brought in with Woodie: Wendy’s quotes for Woodie often refer to Lucy, and how Abigail favours her. 

But keep in mind that this (Wendy/Abigail recognising a spirit in Lucy) only tells us that there IS a presence in Lucy. Also, considering Winona’s short, I think it’s safe to assume that Abigail might only be able to exist in the Constant because of her flower somehow being tethered to its magic. Lucy wouldn’t have had that.

Alongside that, Maxwell’s quote for examining Lucy:   "Ah. How have you been, Lucy?"

He knows there IS something in the axe and appears familiar with her

So…

Let’s rule out a few other ideas for Lucy’s existence real quick (just in terms of this theory… because i still love these interpretations): 

Lucy being purely in woodie’s mind: then other characters wouldn’t think much about her, Maxwell wouldn’t speak to her so familiarly or as a real person. Even if the magic going into the DST world made her able to speak, Maxwell would be more likely to show surprise at her sentience (its something new that happened after his reign) 

Lucy only existing because Woodie willed her into existence on arrival into the Constant: See above, Maxwell wouldn’t be so familiar with her. Plus, putting together the pieces of woodie having left his real-world fire axe outside his house while he was spending his down time inside, we can assume that woodie in the real world didnt have the same deep connection to his axe. If he could will something into existence, why not have it be the real person he was missing that he wouldve shared that chair with?

Lets start wrapping this up.. Cus I’m no good at writing coherently in long-form.

Here’s what I think could be the potential timeline of events for this theory, putting all the pieces together: 

Maxwell needs to lure a depressed, possibly mourning Woodie into the Constant and promises him he’ll reunite him with his partner, Lucy. Her spirit’s not tethered to the real world anymore (because unlike Abigail, she didn’t have that odd flower) and Maxwell can’t manipulate the world outside of the Constant to that degree- but he has a lot of power inside of the Constant. He calls upon the spirit of an Ancient, seemingly the only spirits that can be returned to a level of sapience, with dark magic of which he’s especially adept, and forges its spirit into that of a special axe.

Then, either he imbues the axe with Woodie’s memories or the axe/eldritch powers-that-be gain them in their own way (think Maria from Silent Hill,) and upon Woodie’s passage to The Constant, he receives her. 

As far as Woodie’s concerned, he’s gotten everything he needs, and takes his existence in The Constant without much disdain. As for Lucy, her old Ancient spirit is happy to be alive again and feeding off living beings (trees). It takes getting used-to to be an entirely new “person”, but she gets the hang of it. She’s clingy and codependent because he’s her source of fuel, but quickly forms a bond with him and ends up caring about his wellbeing, to the point of helping his survival in the DST era. Woodie is blissfully unaware and thriving.

....

Alright, thanks for reading! I know it was a lot. Feel free to discuss. I love Woodie and Lucy. I'm sure I missed a few things, like maybe how Lucy knows about Woodie's wereform cycle with the moons and when his beaverness gets low (the moon thing could be a reference to how the Ancients worshipped "Alter"/Them, and the beaverness thing could just be her dark magic picking up on his curse) ... or how Lucy is very picky with other survivors and very sure of herself/forward/brash like the other sentient items, but those are more of a stretch.

[beemovieerotica]

warning for talking about OCD related paranoia, please don't feel pressured to respond to or even read this if that might bother you.

I just rly want an opinion on this from someone else who has ocd, and I literally dont know anyone who might understand and wouldn't treat me like I'm crazy. The new administration has affected my ocd so badly. I'm so stressed every day about the possibility of any information that I've put online, publically or "privately," over the course of my whole life being dug up and used to incriminate me somehow. Such as anything expressing views the administration disagrees with. Which has been a worry of mine for a while but it has ramped up with all that's going on recently. And the thing is I know that that's not entirely outside of the realm of possibility, but I dont know how likely it is. I dont know where reasonable concern starts and ocd begins. And I get like literally paralyzed with stress over this. Have you experienced anything like this and if so what did you do about it? Thank you if you read this.

yes 100%, I think a lot of fear of what's going on can be compounded by OCD beyond what is helpful to protect one's self.

I'm not going to provide reassurances here because that's one of the big no-no's of talking to someone with OCD: it turns into a cycle of us seeking reassurance from others in a way that can escalate our behavior and place an undue burden on others. And it ultimately doesn't work.

on my own end, I need to put hard limits on how much reading the news I do, otherwise it can literally go on for hours as I keep searching out tiny bits of new information that will supposedly help calm me down. but the relief doesn't ever happen. I just get mentally fatigued and shut down, and that's not the same thing as relief. at a certain point I have to just do a hard pivot. completely change scenery, change tasks, do something new to get my brain off that path.

I think limiting fear spirals related to current events would be the first step in reducing overall anxiety, since that goes hand in hand with upticks in OCD behavior.

I've been able to exposure-therapy myself slowly on this blog, but I can't say that will work with everyone. I show my face, people know my first name, etc - it's something I'm able to afford to do as an adult and it's helped me overcome some of the fears of ever being known, and of having my political stances be connected to me.

there are other more tangible ways to dip into free and open expression - consider writing a letter to a public official, getting out and supporting queer events in-person, or even just dropping a $10 donation for a cause - something that puts you in a community or attaches your name to a community that needs help, little by little.

I think there may be a pivot point where that fear can be channeled into action, like a "fuck it, I'm doing this" attitude. and you can feel *good* defying your OCD when it comes with that realization of, "hey, I like these people. I like being in this space." some of the wildest things I ever did in my life were a "fuck you" to OCD, powering through the warning sirens in my head and I ended up with experiences and friends I never thought I'd ever have. I think this is one of those times where really crucial communities are being born out of this intense hardship and stress, and we all need each other. OCD thrives in isolation, and you've gotta have a support network to help you live your best life despite it.

[syndrossi]

I did 24 hours in California this weekend. It was a disorienting trip between the travel, and the haze, and all the things to do, and the no sleep. Which makes me wonder - what place in Westeros do you think would be most uncanny/disorienting for Rhaegar and Jon to visit?

Oh my, I'm curious what you managed to fit into twenty-four hours! I'm guessing you were further south, since those of us closer to central/northern California got blasted by weather.

As for the boys in Westeros...

I feel like King's Landing itself would be fairly disorienting to Jon, who's not exactly a city boy. He hasn't had a chance to really experience it, since he's either flown above it or through it on a closed carriage. The crowds, the density, the smells, the cutthroat clamoring for attention, the lack of regard for personal space...

Rhaegar meanwhile is less worldly than his canon counterpart, since Aerys wasn't a big traveler and Rhaegar wouldn't have been allowed to really go that far on his own until much older. I do think that the North would be pretty disorienting to him, especially at the height of winter. Surrounded by snow, nothing around for miles...it's beautiful, but very easy to lose your way (and feel utterly alone). North of the Wall would veer into uncanny for him too. Given his pride, which is not unlike Daemon's, in House Targaryen and its history, there's something humbling/awe-inspiring about seeing something like the Wall that long predates his house. His family's rule is a blink of an eye in that scheme of things.

The Iron Islands would be a bit of a culture shock for both, though geographically they'd be reminiscent of Dragonstone (misty, rocky). I could see Dorne being a bit of a WTF for Jon, given the heat and the culture.

Jon might feel uneasy at the Citadel (or bored), while Rhaegar would be raiding it for every book he's wanted to read but was burned/destroyed/lost/etc by his own time.

I'm sure there are loads of other interesting places and landmarks that I haven't considered, so feel free to chime in if there are some that spring to mind for any of you!

[sammylkcho]

I heard Dandy and came running, could I request Gigi HCs with a reader who's a kleptomaniac?

Sure! Writing for Gigi alongside a reader who has the same urge to steal or collect things just for fun is.. fun NJSADKJ Warnings/Notes: reader kleptomaniac, stealing, silly things

—It’s almost IMPOSSIBLE to keep your hands still for even a second; in the blink of an eye, you're already stealing the brightest or tiniest thing in the place.

—Oh, I should've started by saying this, but Gigi is surprised to have someone with the same drive or even more than her to steal things, even if it's just wanting them without needing them.

—Of course, you're her accomplice in any robbery.

—Or she's yours; either way, you two are a serious case.

—You could say your impulse to steal things is instant; as soon as you see something, it disappears.

—I feel like this could have a negative or positive side depending on the situation. You might try to agree on keeping the stolen item or just start a mini dispute over who gets to keep it.

—You always hide the traces of anyone who was at the crime scene (the theft) so Rodger doesn’t catch you, no matter how obvious it is.

—The little trades between you two are quite fun, especially because it seems like you're doing something "illegal."

—A robbery duo when needed! There could even be an episode about both of you sneaking around Gardenview, stealing things from the Toons' rooms while Rodger starts a new case investigating the "Gardenview thieves."

—I like to think that Tisha is one of the few people who can enter any room, and when she sees the COMPLETE MESS AND DISORDER of both your room with stolen items scattered everywhere, she doesn’t care and just gets to cleaning.

—Suspicious case of autism (Gigi) with someone who has kleptomania (reader)/j

—In some cases, the Toons avoid being with the "thief duo" during a run, because there will always be a shortage of tapes.

—There was a time when the Gardenview shop was suddenly completely empty... Weird.

—Rarely does Connie join in on your antics, just to laugh at the confused expressions of the Toons.

—Gigi might have different piles of things: a pile for things that aren’t that important, piles for objects she likes, and so on.

—Reader and Gigi met at a time when both of you planned to steal the same thing, eventually arguing over who saw it first and who should get it. In the end, Flutter had to intervene when she overheard the argument.

—Anything Gigi sees as unimportant (which happens VERY rarely) she discards, and you quickly grab it.

—You two have all sorts of gossip when it comes to any kind of valuable object.

—You’re a bit reckless when stealing things, which is why you have Gigi to back you up in situations that could lead to serious consequences.

—Both of your handlers had strict orders NOT to put you two together, though in the episodes, you were always paired up because of the big personalities you shared.

—Out of the two of you, you’re the more foolish one /j

—She lets you open her head to stash the loot you pick up along the way.

—In short, you two are the worst duo to be found in Gardenview, especially when it comes to missing items. Please keep your most valuable things in a safe (they’ll steal the safe too).

[imsogonesposts]

Ocean Blue Eyes, Looking in Mine

|| ao3 || finnick masterlist || an: i wrote this cause i thought rep tv was gonna be announced 😕 || based on the song gorgeous by taylor swift || requests are open!! ||

summary: Finnick flirts with you at one of the Capitol parties. (wc: 942)

warnings: drinking, I think thats it!!

The only interesting thing about the Capitol parties you were forced to attend, was that every now and then, you got to see Finnick Odair. The two of you had spoken a few times in District 4, but never enough to be considered friends. But he had always seemed nice, and he clearly still was, even after all these years, even after the Hunger Games.

“You might get alcohol poisoning if you keep drinking tonight, honey,” he whispered, his voice smooth as silk. 

“Why do you talk like that?” You ask, playfully swatting his hand away as he tries to take your glass of wine away. You needed the wine to distract you from the party. From its blinding lights that were starting to hurt your eyes, and the overly eager citizens of the Capitol that were beginning to get on your nerves. You needed it to keep you from counting down the seconds until you could go home. 

“Talk like what?” He asked with one of those charming smiles he always seemed to have on. The smile you both loved and hated. 

“Like that,” you reply, smiling as he looked at you in confusion. 

You had never admitted it to anyone, but you had always had a bit of a crush on Finnick Odair. It started when you were both five years old, and he helped you up after you tripped over a few seashells on the beach. He had helped you up, brushed some of the sand off you, and helped you look for your parents after noticing your legs had started to bleed. And after he brought you back to them, he had stayed to make sure you were okay. You weren’t sure if he remembered that day, but you did, and you couldn’t help but have a crush on him afterward. A crush that still stood as you looked at his face. At his golden hair, at his dimples, and at those blue eyes that reminded you all too much of the ocean that surrounded your shared district. It wasn’t fair that he could still make you feel this way, all these years later, even if you two have only spoken a handful of times since then. You decided to blame it on the alcohol.

“Excuse me,” you suddenly state, “I see someone I should talk to,” you say with a smile. You didn’t know who you would go talk to, but that seemed like a problem for the future. Right now, you just needed to clear your head, and Finnick Odair certainly wasn’t helping with that. 

You noticed the flash of a small frown on Finnick’s face before he quickly replaced it with one of his charming smiles. “Of course,” he replied, taking your free hand and raising it to his lips. “It was lovely talking to you again,” he finished, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand as he said your name. 

You knew Finnick Odair was a well-known flirt, which is why you tried to calm your heart as his lips touched the back of your heart. But the alcohol coursing through your veins certainly wasn’t helping with that.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” You suddenly asked, immediately regretting the question as he smiled at you—a soft, sweet smile. 

“No,” he replied, “I do not.” 

The two of you stared at each other as you went over his response in your head. His ocean blue eyes looking into yours as you contemplated how to respond. You felt as if you could drown in those eyes as he creased his eyebrows, looking at you in confusion. 

“Why do you look confused?” He asked as you shrugged with a smile.

“I’m deciding if that’s a good or bad thing.” You replied.

“If I have a girlfriend?” He asked with a laugh. You simply nodded. “Why would it be a bad thing?”

Because you’re so gorgeous, it actually hurts. It doesn’t make sense how you of all people could be single. “Because if you’re single, there’s no hope for the rest of us,” you joke. 

“I’m sure there’d be hope for you,” he replies with a smile. “You’re absolutely gorgeous.”

You could feel yourself grow warm at his compliment. “Does that usually work on the other girls?” You joked. He just laughed. 

“I wouldn’t know,” he replied. “I don’t really go around calling other girls gorgeous,” he said with a wink. 

Oh. “What do you call them then?” You asked. 

“Pretty,” he replied, moving a piece of hair behind your ear. “You’re the only one I’ve ever called gorgeous.” His hand drops back to his side as he smiles. 

Oh. He only ever called you gorgeous? Oh

“Well,” he says, glancing around the room, “I shouldn’t keep you from the person you needed to talk to,” he said. 

You had forgotten that. You wanted to admit you had lied about needing to talk to someone in order to avoid his gaze. To avoid the butterflies in your stomach every time he looked at you, touched you, and flirted with you. You wanted to stay and continue talking with him. To continue letting him compliment you as you stared at the captivating eyes you wished to get lost in. But you had embarrassed yourself around him enough for one night. 

“Right, of course,” you replied with a nod, fighting a smile as he pressed a kiss to the back of your hand once more. “I’ll see you around, Finnick,” you said as he smiled, lightly squeezing your hand before releasing it. 

“I hope so,” he responded before leaving to mingle with the citizens of the Capitol. 

[tyrantisterror]

A Flight of Dragons, I Command It! A FLIGHT! OF! DRAGONS!

doom DOOM DOOM

Hey fuckers, it's February and my Seasonal Affective Disorder is at its fucking PEAK, so it's gonna get REAL weird around here for a while. Luckily, my old ass has spent the last thirty-some years figuring out how to deal with this particular recurring problem, and one of the many tools and tricks I've learned is an age old classic:

I gotta treat myself.

So, ok, I work at a daycare, and one of the things that's very popular with the kids these days are 3-D printed dragons. They're inexpensive, customizable, and pretty easy to transport and store, so it's no wonder kids like them. But, you know, I'm something of a child at heart myself, and I love dragons, so when I saw my kids bringing all these 3-D printed dragons to the center... well, I got a bit envious. And, well... when you're an adult with disposable income... there's no one STOPPING you from buying a 3-D printed dragon for yourself.

Or two.

Or three.

Or... lots. Lots and lots. Because you're an adult and they don't cost much money and you've always loved having swarms/herds/big families of creatures ever since you were a kid, and because it was January when this idea struck you and looking at the estimated time of arrival on etsy for these things you realized most of them would arrive by February, when you might NEED the serotonin provided by having a big ol' flight of dragons.

So let's go on a journey, fuckers. A journey of excess, a journey into imagination, a journey through the marvelous world of people with 3-D printers making a quick buck on etsy. Let's look at some fucking dragons.

I'm going to go ahead and link the store pages for each dragon I purchased, in case you too are deranged and need some dragons in your life, and because I want to give some form of credit to the artists who made these. Granted, that won't always be possible - while a few of these seemed to be unique to the shops I bought them from, many of them could be found from NUMEROUS sellers, which makes it difficult if not impossible to figure out who originally programmed the project files for them to be 3-D printed from.

Case in point is The Crystal Dragon here, which can be found in SO MANY etsy stores. Most of the 3-D printed dragons my students at the daycare had were of this variety, in fact, so it seems to be a very popular pattern for 3-D printing. It's definitely a cute and pretty little thing, and sort of sets the standard bar for a 3-D printed dragon. I wish the face was a bit more detailed, but the rough, angular nature of it does help convey the idea that this thing is made of crystals.

The second most common design, as far as I can tell anyway, is this Chinese Dragon/Loong (oh hey, they used my favorite English spelling!). I really like the face of this guy, and it seems like an excellent rendition of the standard East Asian dragon design - there's even tiny holes under its nostrils where you could insert a wire or thread to serve as its barbells, though most sellers (including the one I bought from) don't make use of it.

While most of the dragons I bought are "realistic," there were some cartoony/more stylized ones for sale that I decided to partake in. This little guy is one such dragon, and I think he's probably the best one to get if you're buying for a kid - the smoother body and smaller, nubbier horns makes it less likely to break, and just a bit more fun to play with in your hands. These things are often marketed as fidgets, after all, so the tactile feel of them is something to take into account.

While on the surface just a variation of the fidgets we've seen so far, this dragon has one particularly clever feat of engineering: because of the way the spikes on its neck are set up, you can get its head in a nice "snake rearing up to strike" position, which, combined with its distinctive short-snouted face, goes a long way to giving it an extra bit of character among the 3-D printed dragons.

While most of the dragons I found seemed to have the same simple color options to choose from, a few sellers seemed to have their own custom ones that were unique to their shop. This mix of bronze and olive greens was unique to this particular dragon, which, along with its painted eyes, really helps its stand out! I will note that the joints of this dragon tend to stick a bit more than my other dragons - perhaps a result of using different plastic colors than is standard? - but if you let gravity do its work they'll sort themselves out, and it's worth it to have such a striking little fellow.

Since this particular style of toy really suits serpentine creatures better than all else, I decided to look for some explicitly marine dragons to add to the group. I really like this sea serpent I found, which comes is very basic crayola-ish plain colors, but has just enough personality in its sculpt (and eyes and teeth in different colors) to stand out.

If you're looking for sea dragons on etsy, though, you're much more likely to encounter this fellow, which almost every store selling it calls Jormungandr and/or the Midgard Serpent. It's got these vaguely Nordic runes carved into it, as well as grooves in its tail designed to fit its prominent fangs so it can make an ouroboros, which makes the Jormungandr connection feel pretty intentional. It's a really distinct design, but I do think it's a little funny that it's far from the beefiest of my dragons. I wonder if there's a shop that sells an upsized model...

While not notable in terms of engineering, paint work, or plastic color options, this dragon IS notable in having heads based on a statue of Quetzalcoatl, who is in turn one of my favorite mythological figures, so I had to get it.

Of course, I also wanted a Quetzalcoatl-style feathered serpent that had the classic "winged snake" look, and this one fit the bill well enough. It originally came with little hair clips attached to its underside, allowing it to cling to your head and/or clothes, which I thought was really clever... but I also didn't like the clips sticking out from under the little thing so I took them off. A lovely little dragon either way, though.

So, ok, I'd been going relatively cheap at this point, but as I shopped I was struck with a sort of passing fancy, an idle thought... what was the most elaborate, fanciest 3-D printed dragon I could get? It's not this one, mind you, but this was very much the start of that rabbit hole. While mechanically it's not significantly different than the dragons we've seen till now, the amount of colors it's printed in immediately make it stand out as a higher quality dragon.

The same store that sold the dragon above also sold this fellow, which may well be my favorite of the many East Asian dragons I found on this little quest. Just look at that wonderfully monstrous face! And he's got a pearl, the little devil!

While the color of the plastic and the engineering of this sea dragon may not seem particularly notable, what has to be taken into account here is the sheer SIZE of this lass. This is one of the biggest dragons of my lot, not only in length but in sheer girth and weight of its joints. The Midgar Serpent needs to move over, this is the REAL leviathan of my 3-D printed dragon collection.

Of course, if you know me, you know I'm a basic bitch who loves the European "four legs and two wings" style of dragon the most of all, so my search for fancy 3-D printed dragons started to focus on finding some that fit this description. I can't actually find the store page for this guy anymore (it's not in my past purchases on etsy for some reason), but it's a pretty solid low budget take on the concept. But we can do better - and we will...

But first, a detour to some wyverns! This little guy is really cute, with a head based on the Peter Jackson Herbit movie's design for Smaug, and a feathery little body that makes it looks like a fantastical archeopteryx.

The same shop makes a more reptile-ish dragon, with leathery wings and scaly skin, which I got in a larger size because, well, you know my preferences. It's like the perfect size to perch on your shoulder, though I'd want something to hold it in place because I'm pretty sure falling off from that height onto a hardwood floor would be the end of it.

There's no shop link for this one or the next because it was a freebie - which is to say I didn't actually order this dragon, but found it in one of my packages as a free gift from the seller. That's the nice thing about shopping on places like etsy and ebay - sometimes the people on the other side of the screen are really solid and decide to give you an extra little treat. This is clearly a Games of Throne-style wyvern specifically, based on the proportions and the shape of the head, and that's pretty cool. The dragons are one of the only things that made it out of that show still looking cool.

The second freebie dragons I got were these little toys of Toothless and Girl Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon. Look at them, they're so cute!

But now... now it's time for the answer to the question:

What

Is the most Deluxe 3-D Printed Dragon

I can get?

The Bronze Medal goes to this marvelous dragon here, which feels like it flew right off of some medieval coat of arms and into my own flesh and blood ones. It's solid, beautifully sculpted, and full of articulation points. However, the method in which it's articulated makes it a bit frustrating to pose, as some of these joints end up bending and twisting in ways you don't want them too. Still an excellent dragon, mind you, but outdone by the next two...

The Silver Medal goes to this marvelous wyvern, which has much tighter joints that are a lot less frustrating to pose. Its wings are a mixture of cloth and plastic, allowing them to flex and bend into a variety of poses (though admittedly the weight of the wings keeps them from holding most of those poses very well). Also, look at that regal face, that sleek sculpt, and those elegant proportions! It's almost a perfect dragon for me. Almost.

My one and only gripe with the previous dragon is that, well, I'm a basic bitch who likes dragons with four legs and two wings the best! And what do you know, they made one of those too! And god, does this dragon look magnificent in person, sporting all of the elegance of the dragon above but with magnificent grasping hands! HANDS! Hands that you'll have to be careful with because the joints are a little loose and like to pop off when you play with them, but still, HANDS!

This is a high enough point to end off on, but there's one more 3-D printed gift I'd like to cover here. My favorite one.

Well, ones I guess. This all started with my students, and well, some of them noted my interest in the 3-D printed dragons they were bringing to school. And a couple of them actually ended up getting 3-D printers of their own (well, their parents' own, ayway) and decided to print off a dragon and a crocodile for me - smaller than all the other dragons here (except the Toothless keycains), but no less dear for it. I guess one of the pros about taking an active interest in the things your students like and letting them gush about it is that they might give you a 3-D printed dragon or crocodile out of the kindness in their little hearts.

[utilitycaster]

I’ve never actually watched a campaign of critical role live, like I first heard of it at the start of c3, didn’t finish campaigns 1 and 2 until episode like 80, and decided to just let c3 finish airing so I could binge. You’ve been in fandom since c2, and I wanted to ask two questions. How does criticism of c3 differ from c2, or even c1? Also, since the fandom has grown and the cast is now much more removed from the fans, do you think if they ever do another long form campaign they’ll try and address some complaints people have had about c3? Or will they just continue to do their own thing? It just feels (to me with no point of comparison) that a lot of people have a lot of valid complaints about c3 and I can’t imagine they’d just ignore all of it, but I could just be naive

Let me answer the ending question first, which is that I do not know how much the cast sees and honestly I wouldn't even blame them for ignoring most commentary during the campaign because I think it's hard to actually run a campaign constantly trying to make the fandom happy. I also have some guesses that the cast has their own doubts that are perhaps less harsh than what many of us have been saying, but are present. Like I can't imagine they missed how rushed the emotional beats of this campaign felt, and how bad this party is at making decisions that feel earned and interesting and don't take them 3 hours, even if they might keep that private. I think the flaws of this campaign are also a bit of a perfect storm, namely, Matt had a very specific plot in mind but ran this campaign with too open a hand, and the cast of characters they played could have used a bit more balance. I mean, I'll admit to being unimpressed by a few of Bells Hells' initial premises compared to other parties, but most actually could have become great if they were in a more character-tailored campaign like the previous two. I think without this goal of creating a big culmination in a hypothetical future campaign, this problem of having ill-suited characters for that type of plot and then pushing development aside in the service of that culmination becomes a nonissue.

Now, fan criticism. This gets tricky, because a lot of criticism, to be blunt, sounds similar on the surface no matter how valid it is. For example, "this ship lacks chemistry and development" is basically a criticism people throw at any ship they dislike. Chemistry is ultimately subjective, or at least impossible to measure in a meaningful way (this is why the But Number Go Up crowd hates when it gets brought up, like, doesn't matter how many fics your ship has if I think the characters are cold fish with each other; I'll never like it) and development is not but requires strong meta to back it up and it's hard to prove a negative.

Shipping aside, though: I think the clincher for me is that people who ended up disliking Campaign 2 any time between the ending of the hiatus or after the finale, were as a rule invested in one very specific outcome: either they quit because their ship didn't happen (including the many, many people who thought Fjord and Jester or Beau and Yasha would break up in the finale, apropos of nothing); in the case of Shadowgast that the ship didn't happen in the way they expected; or they quit because Molly was not resurrected. There was certainly a lot of trepidation going into the finale that not all stories would have a satisfying conclusion (notably Caleb, Yasha, and Fjord, all of whom did get meaningful resolution in the finale) but, at least in my circles, no one was arguing that the Nein as a whole felt robbed and that the campaign did them dirty. You had the weirdass Caduceus stans who failed to understand that his story was precisely what he wanted, or the Caleb Should Have Killed Everyone In The Assembly people, but honestly at least in my recollections a lot of those were secondary to various shipping/Molly complaints and grew out of there as a means to bash the campaign for additional reasons, rather than as a root cause for dissatisfaction themselves. Here, we have people who are ostensibly thrilled with the shipping outcome and the endstate with the gods becoming mortal and who were crowing about that up until the finale announcement at which point they, in their own words, crashed out and suddenly began agreeing with everything this campaign's detractors had said re: lack of character-focused arcs and rushed pacing, and I think that's notable.

I don't feel qualified really to speak about Campaign 1 because I wasn't there, but I think in addition to the violent misogynistic hate which Critical Role obviously did not nor should have listened to and taken as guidance, there was the usual "MY SHIP DIDN'T HAPPEN SO THIS CAMPAIGN IS BAD AND PROBLEMATIC" complaints we saw with Campaign 2.

I guess my point is, getting back to that first paragraph about shipping, you can't go off of the phrasing of criticism; you really do need to take it in context.

[photoniccyclone]

Crack Theory: Zym Will Be the One To Save Claudia

Sounds crazy right? But here me out, I may be huffing some major copium right now and it requires some other headcannons to come true but when you think about it... this could be a really cool thing for them to do.

Zym can talk now, which means he's gonna need to be a charatcer and do character things, what better way to do that then take a crack at saving Claudia and bringing a new perspective the others didn't? Picking up where they failed?

In order to be saved now, after all the damage that's been done to her, she's going to need two things in my eyes.

A lot of empathy. Those who try to save her need to have sympathy and empathy for her situation and while not agreeing with what she did, have the understanding of why she did them and what she's going through, and have the ability to be patient with her and help her when she's struggling. This is going to be hard for a lot of the cast. Rayla definitely can not do this because she just downright hates her (she spent the two year time jump trying to kill her) so she's out. The rest, their emphathy has been spent potentially after their failed attempts to save her, which were, not very successful for a variety of reasons i.e tricking her with a fake mom (diabolical) or straight up making her feel gaslit. (I'm referencing the "I think we have different bone feelings" it's important to note that I don't think Soren was gaslighting her because he truly believed in what he said, but to someone like her, it can come across as gaslighting.) Or not giving her the time of day, but that's not the point. The point is that the rest of the cast feels they've done all they can, even Soren feels that way, remember he begs Terry to let him kill her! While we don't know where Zym stands on this, we can start to sow some doubt in his mind about the dragaang's methods. This will not only help explain why Zym wants to try and take a crack at saving Claudia but also help develop him into his own character who isn't just Ezran 2.0. Maybe him and Ez can even have a disagreement over this at some point! Wouldn't it be cool to see an argument or a bit of a temporary falling out between these two? Zym has been shown to be extremely emphathetic so far, similar to Ezran and has a chance that he could feel like he could bring something new to the table that the gang hasn't tried before which I will get into later. (ANNNNDDDDD, if a certain headcannon holds true he might be perfect for the job)

A proper addressing of Xadia's crimes. Yes, she's definitely going to need this. What Xadia did in the past drives a lot of her character, maybe not as much as family but it's a huge motivator, and it must sting really hard when her own brother contradicts everything with "I don't have the same bone feelings". It could easily be going through her mind right now like "Are you crazy? after everything they did to us your just all lovey dovey with them? Like it just didn't happen?". Someone is going to need to acknowledge what happened, clearly and definitively and also apologize for it and deliver the promise that they will make sure it will never happen again. Now... who better to deliver this message to her than the literal King of The Dragons himself who literally has the power to make it never happen again? Could this cure her instantly? No, maybe not... Claudia is hurting badly and the scars run deep, but that could be the beginning to set off a chain reaction that Zym could help her through by instilling point 1.

Now, if a certain headcannon comes true which could make narrative sense, it would just make this all the more powerful. You know how Ezran is an empath with animals? Like he can basically talk to them to an extent and can also feel their pain (novelizations), what if Zym is the same, but for humans and elves. This is not entirely baseless either, other than providing cool symmetry it would also explain why Zym is able to communicate telepathically with Ezran to an extent. It's two empaths connecting to each other. If Zym has this power, he could potentially understand what Claudia feels on a deeper level then anyone else because he literally feels it too, and thus would easier be able to empathize with her making point 1 all the more plausible.

And on top of everything... I just feel it would be really sweet. I love Zym, I love Claudia and seeing Zym be a character by performing something so monumental and helping someone who clearly needs help would just be... kinda heartwarming to me if done correctly. That's why it's a crack theory at the end of the day. There's not hard evidence and it relies on some assumptions, but do I want it to happen? Absolutely?

But hey, if you disagree, that's fine too! :)

"But Claudia is pure evil and I want her to burn."

I disagree on that but to each their own, fine If you want that too I guess lmao.