#but I think in some ways they might have liked things which were a bit like that

[morlock-holmes]

The Conspiratorial Mindset

So, I've always had a bit of an interest in scams and hokum, and what people call "Cults".

One of the common refrains when you talk about religious Cults is, "If you think about it all religions have beliefs that seem odd to outsiders" and this is true, but as I read more about cults I started to think,

"Wait, a lot of these groups aren't united just by having unusual religious or supernatural views; a lot of them also seem to have matching patterns of behaviors that have nothing to do with belief in psychic space aliens"

I'm talking about things like,

Having a leadership structure which is absolute, where the top leaders cannot be disciplined or even openly criticized by lower members;

Exerting tremendous control over the dress and behavior of adherents;

Telling adherents that outsiders are untrustworthy and that contact with outsiders should be strictly limited and heavily monitored by organizational leadership;

The extensive and common use of shunning and reprogramming in response to violation of any of the above rules.

In some groups, failing to adhere to the dress code and spending a lot of time with outsiders is, at worst, the subject of a few little jabs at family gatherings. In other groups, those same behaviors are treated as Defcon one crises and become the central issue of the adherent's relationship with everybody else in the organization until they can be bullied back into doing the organization's bidding.

It was gratifying to learn that other people have noticed these patterns (Some people prefer the term "High Control Group" to "Cult" because it highlights what the actual problem is)

I am starting to notice similar dynamics in what are commonly called "Conspiracy theories".

The thing about conspiracy theories is... Well, conspiracies exist, and sometimes groups of powerful people get together to do something in secret which would get them in big trouble if they were to do it openly.

But I am starting to notice a particular, I don't know, a particular way of conceptualizing the organization and purpose of conspiracies which is unique to some people and which characterizes the kind of conspiracy theorist who takes Alex Jones seriously.

I kind of think of it as a "Witch-Hunting mentality".

For certain people in more primitive times and places, if they, say, slipped off a ladder and hurt themselves, their first thought would be, "That must have happened because a witch cursed me. We need to find and punish the witch who cursed me."

And this isn't just the attribution of malice that characterizes this idea:

One malicious conspiracy that might make you fall off a ladder is a manufacturer who doesn't care about safety ratings. Imagine that the manufacturer is really deliberately malicious here. A subordinate comes to him and says, "Our ladders can't reliably hold the weight of a person and a lot of them will probably break and cause people to fall and hurt themselves." and he says, "I know that but who cares, by the time people figure it out it'll be too late to get their money back."

That's a malicious conspiracy, but, importantly, if Bob buys a faulty ladder and falls off, the conspiracy wasn't trying to hurt Bob; it merely didn't care whether Bob got hurt.

Now, this distinction doesn't take away the malice and hostility towards Bob, but if you go to the ladder manufacturer and say, "Hey boss, Bob bought one of our faulty ladders, but he's really skinny so the ladder didn't break" the manufacturer will go, "Who the fuck is Bob? And good, that's one less angry person."

Whereas imagine Bob's ladder has been cursed to break by a witch. The witch did it because she hates Bob, and wants him to fall, and if she finds out he didn't fall, she'll go, "Curses, I'll have to find some other way to hurt Bob."

Conspiracy theorists, it seems to me, are far more inclined to conceptualize conspiracies as acts of deliberate malice aimed at them rather than acts of negligent malice.

@loving-n0t-heyting posted this article from the New York Post which contains a good example of what I mean:

“I thought I was on the cutting edge of promoting rights for gay people,” Yang said. “But then I started looking deeper into where this was coming from and who was paying for it, and I started to get very disillusioned...

I assume the people paying for it are LGBT advocacy groups? Did you, uh, not know that the people you were working for were paying you to work for them?

“When you really dig down you can see how much of this comes from documents and plans at the United Nations,” Yang said, referring in part to the UN’s “Gender Equality” initiative. “It’s part of a global agenda to restructure society, re-structure our social norms and the economy,” Yang claimed. “They are undermining the sexually dimorphic nature of reality and breaking down the differences between the sexes to break down our identity. They are constructing identities for us and they want us to adopt them.”

Oh, I see.

This is exactly what I mean. LGBT rights efforts make Yang and others feel disoriented, like society is being restructured and that they are being left behind, like they aren't quite in control of social norms and that stable identity categories can't be relied on anymore.

Now, one kind of conservative might look at that and say, "These are bad second order effects of LGBT people trying to assert their lifestyle in public and that's why we should oppose them."

But another kind says, "These changes make me feel unstable. Therefore, the main purpose of the changes is to make me feel unstable. In order to understand these changes, I need to figure out who wants me to feel unstable and what they would gain from making me feel unstable."

The idea that Yang's feeling of instability is simply a side effect of a series of efforts mainly focused on LGBT rights is incomprehensible. Instead, she believes that there is a series of efforts focused mainly on making her feel unstable, with LGBT rights as a kind of side effect to the main goal of making her feel unstable.

This kind of thing is, to me, a big red flag that indicates that we are starting to float away from reasonable conspiracy thinking into crazy town.

I am particularly curious if folks can recommend any writers or researchers who have noticed this dynamic.

[wild-kindentities]

1/ Otherkin, therian, fictionkin, otherhearted

2/ Dragon, fox, orca, water elemental, + other(s) I’m not saying

3/ Mostly wings, claws, articulation/muscles/bones (as in, feeling like my body structure is modifying to fit my kintypes’ even if it’s not), lots of sensory shifts and mental shifts. I don’t recall having any strange cameos shifts

4/ I have to repress a lot of instincts everyday, as my identities influence a lot my behaviors are reactions. I get shifts and urges almost daily and I get exhausted very fast and often end up in a more animalistic mindset when I do so, going mostly nonverbal

5/ I like it, I haven’t been involved in it for long as I was scared to assume my identity online for years, but so far it’s been a mostly positive experience for me to find people that have similar experiences to me. I’d prefer it if there were less discourses over futile things, such as borderline bullying TikTok therian or the drama over the packers and physical nonhumans, but overall I’m glad to have found the community

6/ Having people acknowledging my identity and seek me as who I am fully. Also letting myself indulge in my instincts and behave like my kintypes do

7/ Yes, it impacts the way I view myself and I sometimes can’t bear to look at myself in a mirror because of it, but fortunately it’s not like that everyday

8/ “Don’t try to rush things. You don’t have to have everything figured out the moment you awaken, it can take years before you figure out your identity and labels that fit what you’re experiencing, and that’s okay. It’s the same for everyone, it will take time but that’s what the community is there for, to help you in your discoveries about yourself.”

9/ I don’t have “proper” gears, I have a few clothes/ect that bring me species euphoria, but nothing that explicitly looks like kintypes gear. However I would like to have some

10/ I think I am both a spiritual and a psychological alterhuman. I believe in the multiverse, and that there’s an infinity of universes and that in some of those universes I am/was my kintype. I feel like I might as well have been reincarnated from some those universes in which my kintypes exist. It’s a bit blurry as I don’t really know how to say it, because I’ve never put words on it. I’ve thought about it a lot but actually expressing it is way harder than it seems-

11/ I don’t have anyone to tag so whoever sees it and wants to answer those questions too can do it 🔥

If you are a alterhuman, reblog and answer these questions!

(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

5/ What do you think of the community?

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

9/ Do you have/want to have gears?

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈

[cyrdling]

Lovey (Jason Todd x Reader Oneshot)

a/n: i really hope i wasn't gone too long, lol. hope you guys like the blog retheming! for the story, reader is broke and lives in a shitty apartment.

now, you didn't know jason todd was the red hood. how were you supposed to know that the total hunk with mysterious scars all over and a tendency to leave in the middle of the night was a fucking vigilante? okay, yeah, maybe you were a bit oblivious. but nobody could blame you for it, since you were slaving away at your job and you lived in gotham, for goodness sake. if you had one week without some random attack by the local crazies, you could count yourself lucky. this meant that the time you had outside of work and city-wide emergencies was very, very little- you couldn't really sleep all that much, and you couldn't do any of your hobbies. in essence, you weren't really living- just surviving. no time to think about pretty boy jason, or to figure out how to lie about being fine.

despite your oblivious nature, you knew jason was incredibly observant. you didn't need to know he was a vigilante (which, by the way, he still teases you for) to know that he's very aware of his surroundings. he takes care to be very, very aware of where you are- other things he doesn't really care about. he wants to make sure he knows where you are so he doesn't hurt you if you startle him. he just wants to be as gentle with you as possible. however, because of his observance, he's noticed something is up with you.

he wakes up in the morning to you rushing to get ready for work, remembering how late you went to bed last night. he decides to say something.

"sweetheart, why are you going to work? you slept so late last night," he practically mumbles. he has to keep his voice quiet, or else you might notice the soft little whine to it- he just wants to cuddle and keep you close, so not being able to absolutely breaks his big heart.

"sorry, jay- i need to work, i won't be affording this apartment and i can't miss a day just because i'm too tired. i know you'll miss me, baby, but i'll be back before you know it," you tell him, speaking at a volume normal to you, sure, but the quiet paradise of your bedroom was practically shaking from the sound. jason sighs, giving you his best puppy dog eyes to try and guilt you into staying. you're his little angel, he wants to hug you like a teddy bear while he curls up under your blankets.

you sigh, kissing him on the lips, while his adorable tactic doesn't help his case. then, you grab your phone, and leave. he sighs, deep and tired, as he pulls out his phone to check the time before he gets up. he goes through his morning routine without you- brushing his teeth, combing his hair, putting on his sweats and a tee shirt, eating a balanced breakfast (which he's very sure you didn't do, because the one he made for you and put in the fridge is untouched) and then sitting down in front of the television to think about you.

now, jason doesn't think about you every second of every day- he has to figure out how to save the city, after all- but he definitely comes close. he'll be walking down the street and see some items you might like, in a little storefront. he's watching television, and an ad for that one show you like shows up, and he looks to his side to talk about it with you, but you're not there. he decides that if he wants you to be happier, he'd have to do a lot of work.

first, he goes to the grocery store and buys all the stuff you're running out of, and stuff you've said you wanted to try but never had the funds. he even gets a couple extra things he thinks you might like, too, even if you've never said anything about them. he racks up quite the bill, but it's fine- bruce will pay for it.

second, he goes to a furniture store to replace your ratty couch and get you something cute and nice. he gets you some insanely expensive furniture, especially in comparison with what you bought for yourself, and even got you a couple knickknacks from an antique store nearby. like the first bill jason got, bruce will, once again, pay for it.

last, he goes to the wayne manor. there's some things he wants to get that he can't exactly buy- mainly sentimental things- but he wants to show you that he's making an effort to trust you, and turn your apartment into a home. he gets some framed photos off the walls of his old bedroom, some books, and other little things that he thinks you might find cute. while he's carrying his huge bag of goods, he comes across bruce. they stare each other down for a while, and bruce speaks first.

"is this for your partner?" he asks, stern voice bouncing off the walls and buzzing in jason's skull.

jason smirks, "yeah. what's it to you?" the last word ending in a slight raise of his voice.

bruce sighs. "nothing. just tell me the next time you plan to spend that much money in one day," with that, he turns and leaves- a barely imperceptible smile on his face at the fact that finally, finally jason has found someone to love.

jason hops in his car- he couldn't trust himself to carry that much on his bike, let's be honest- and drives back to your apartment. he drags all his luggage up to your floor, struggling only slightly to open your door. thankfully, all of the furniture he got was delivered- thank goodness for money- and he just took a few trips to carry it up (and also had dick help some).

with all of these things in his sight, he suddenly became insecure. what if you didn't like the foods he got you? what if you didn't like the furniture, or thought the stuff from his childhood room was stupid?

he heard footsteps down the hall.

heard someone fiddling with their keys.

heard the door opening.

you came in, and saw him in the center of a long day of work- his eyes widen, and he greets you- nervously, stuttering a little, just a bit too loud for the situation.

"hey, sweetheart- um- i got you some things," he sighs, almost defeated. oh god, you're gonna hate him. you're gonna leave him for someone who knows what gifts to get you, who knows how to talk to you about things. he feels his palms going clammy, his heart thundering away in his chest, his lungs struggling for air- wait, why are you smiling? you're not supposed to be smiling. does this mean you're happy with this? you laugh, and he feels his heart shoot directly through the upper floors of your apartment and into the stratosphere. he's sure you'd be losing your security deposit for that, but he can't bring himself to care. he'd pay for it, a million times over, just for you.

with his help, you put all of the food away, throw out your ratty couch, rearrange the furniture, and set up the knickknacks and sentimental items around the place. the entire way through, though, jason stares at you starstruck- if you look close enough, you might be able to see the hearts forming in his eyes. he, in his ever-helpful wisdom, told you to quit your job. when you ask why, he only told you one thing- and he kept repeating it whenever you'd ask.

he'd tell you, "it's my job to take care of you, lovey. i'll pay for it," his eyes full of love and his thumb caressing your cheek. he is quite the partner, ain't he?

please reblog if you enjoyed this one!! i definitely had a lot of fun writing it!

[star--stilinski]

wow, you're so fucked.

stiles is standing next to you, a sweaty beacon of pride as he chats with scott and isaac excitedly, his lacrosse uniform still on and not making things any easier for you.

he had just played a game and won. something unusual for him, clear in the way he seems to glow a bit at the attention he's receiving. you can admit that he did better than his regular performances, which often included him sitting idly by on the bench. but you really don't need to deal with this. rambling, hyper focused stiles is one thing.

sweaty, cocky stiles is another.

he laughs at something danny says-oh, danny's here? you didn't even notice him approach, too distracted with the way stiles' hair sticks to his forehead. anyway, his laugh might make you swoon. jesus, are you ovulating? there's a wet patch forming in your panties and you know it. whore.

"oh, yes! we will so be there!" stiles slings an arm over your shoulder and grins at danny. you can smell his sweat, now, and unfortunately stiles' musk only makes you want to ride his dick even more.

"be where?" you blink, turning a curious gaze on stiles, who looks at you all confused and cute and his lips are so pink and his skin glistens with sweat and i bet the rest of him does, too-

"are you okay?" he hums, squeezing you against his side just slightly. you nod and turn to danny to avoid moaning at the sight of stiles' adams apple.

"sorry, i was zoned out."

danny looks like he's disappointed in you. because of-fucking-course danny māhealani can tell that you're this close to giving stiles a blowjob in front of the entire student body. just because he's sweaty and excited and prideful. you glare at danny, just to shut him up.

he talks anyway.

"some of us were gonna go grab food to celebrate, and i was just inviting you guys. unless you'll be... busy." danny drawls his last words with clear implication, but stiles is too busy being excited that he got invited to something by the "in" crowd to notice.

"and i told him we were going." stiles grins down at you, raising his eyebrows in anticipation. you avoid his eyes, tilting your head.

"i dunno..." you pick at your nails, and stiles is quick to stop you. a habit you both have and you're both trying to quit. "it's kinda late, and we have that essay-"

"oh, come on, don't tell me you're passing this up for homework." stiles tosses his head back dramatically and you hear danny snicker. you know if you look at danny again, you'll want to throttle him. but looking at stiles means looking at his moles and freckles, his jawline, his brow.

you swallow thickly.

"yeah, okay, shut up. i was gonna say yes." you fold so quick that stiles actually steps back from you in shock, and you avoid grabbing him by the jersey to keep his scent all over you.

danny smirks at you, nodding once. "see you guys there. try not to fog up the windows on the way."

stiles waves as danny leaves, and you're pretty confident he didn't even hear that last part because of how focused he is on being overdramatic about you saying yes to him so easily. his eyes are wide and his mouth is open when you turn to look at him, and he let's out a squeaky surprised noise.

"what-you always argue about this stuff! did you have some moment of discovery?!" he grabs both your shoulders and you fight a smile, shrugging him off. you can't just tell the boy, 'oh, it's a whole lot harder to say no to you when all i can think about is how far i would go to get you in my pants.'

right?

you settle for an easy half-truth. "just didn't wanna dampen your good mood. you're practically bouncing off the bleachers right now."

when you look back at stiles, he has that stupid crooked smile cocked all smartly at you. feeling bold, he gives your hip a light squeeze and hums, "atta girl."

yeah, you are so incredibly fucked.

☆

this is my most popular from the vault!! it's also one of the first things i published here. stay tuned for more vault releases and an upcoming thomas fic :D

this anon made me giggle so here's a snippet of pt. 2 (its a joke dont get your hopes up)

[ihaznoclue]

Hiii I would like to request Shadow the hedgehog with an alien!reader. They look human but have an ability that resembles light and glitter? If that makes sense lol

(If you can, could it be a stranger’s 2 lovers? If you only do platonic that’s fine! Reader would be also be on Sonic’s side and living with the trio)

Pairings -> Shadow the Hedgehog x Alien Reader

Warnings -> None

Note -> Reader is a alien who looks like a human but have the ability that resembles light and glitter

Genre -> Fluff [Strangers to Lovers]

Shadow The Hedgehog

You're both aliens at this point

But you were more human looking which is a good thing as people never seem to like aliens

You were like a alien that could disguise as a human but could resemble light and glitter

Which is a weird thing that most people might think but you think it is cool

Ever since you came to earth, you never knew the interesting things you might see on the way

But sometimes it is always tough as things may happen out of the blue

After a few years of being in this world called Earth you never realised you would find the most kindest people

The Wachowski

They took you in as one of them as they already had some company

A Hedgehog, A fox and a Echidna

They all looked so adorable to you

Sonic being the first one to introduce himself as they other did so too

Now you guys were all like a big happy family

But not everything turns out happy in the end

Sonic and his friends seemed to be caught in a mission

You missed them dearly, but the Wachowskis thought they could bring you to london to take on this mission with them as they need all the help they could get

That was until you saw HIM

Shadow the hedgehog

A black and red Hedgehog, seeming to be a different version of sonic

But you came to the wrong place at the wrong time as you saw Tom on the ground, Shadow with the key in his hand as he saw you

That's how you are now taken in by him as your wrists were tied together

Trying to free yourself as you thought of idea on how to get out

Doctor eggman and his grandfather seemed to be suspicious about you seeming that you looked rather different than the Wachowskis

Shadow also thought too but didn't think much of it as it seemed like a waste of time

But Shadow knew something was up with you and he wanted to know what

During your time being captured by The robotniks, shadow had seemed to take a interest in you all of a sudden seeming that he was always the one who stood close to you

So you decided to start a conversation with you if you could only to get a huff out of him

But you didn't stop as you told him things about you

Shadow looked like he wasn't listening but actually he was

During all this, you wondered if the others were coming to get you back

But you didn't feel threatened at all as they seemed to untie you

But on one condition if Shadow supervisors you

Which you didn't mind at all seeming he was the only one you've talked to during all this

Now Shadow has become more talkative ever since he started to look after you seeing if you were trying to escape

But you never did as you always tried so hard to keep a conversation going

You were joyful, talkative and very sweet

Someone that he cared for, someone who didn't think he was a monster

You reminded him of someone he dearly loved and cared for

And he was scared if he was going to care for you, something would happen to you

Shadow tried to keep it on the down low as you were the one to always talk about stuff

Shadow took interest about the stuff you would talk about

Like how pretty flower fields are, how lovely the forests are around your home town, how your family was the best

And maybe you spilled in a little bit of something else you weren't suppose to talk about

Maybe something about you being an alien just like him

Shadow was confused until you proved it, your skin reflected on the light

It was because you trusted him enough to know

Shadow thought it was pretty, your skin shining and looked sparkly

Shadow wasn't the only alien here

The person he cared and came close to was also an alien just like him

And he is willing to protect you from anything that tries to come after you

And he was going to do the right thing

-A<3

[eyra]

stuff what I have learnt about writing good

If you've followed me for longer than two minutes then you'll likely know (because I keep going on about it) that I've been working on a novel for the past year. It's always been a dream of mine to write and publish a book and whilst I still have a long way to go before I can even start thinking about querying (whether on this book, or the next, or the next, etc.) I suppose I can now say that a book Exists. I have written A Book.

Now whether or not that book ever sees the light of day, the process of writing it has been truly eye-opening. I went in knowing virtually nothing and came out, still with a huge amount to learn, but with a whole library of tools that I didn't have before. I'm now putting these to use with the first draft of my second book and already the process feels so much more enjoyable, because I've started to figure out how to make it work for me.

I wanted to jot down what I've learnt purely for my own reference so I can keep looking back and reminding myself what worked for me first time around, but given that I get a nice number of asks picking my brain about my own writing process, I thought I might as well share all this with you lot in case there's anyone out there who finds it useful!

So here are the big things that I've learnt so far...

1. Not every trick works for every writer

This has been, by far, my biggest learning. Starting to plan a novel for me felt SO overwhelming - I felt like I was bombarded on all sides with "this is how to write a novel" content, and it felt like there was just too much to learn and like I would never find my way through it. I spent weeks (months...) doing every worksheet, every outlining method, every chart, anything I could get my hands on. Some of them, by the end, proved themselves very useful. A lot of them didn't. There are thousands of voices online that are telling you "this is the right way to write a book" or even "this is the ONLY way to write a book" - don't listen to them. Try things, but don't feel like you have to fit yourself into every single box. Just find the things that work for you.

2. It's possible to overplan

On a related note - sometimes you just need to start writing. I spent WAY TOO LONG faffing about before I put pen to paper with my first book. So, so long planning out characters and plot points, a lot of which I then had to completely reimagine mid-draft because I realised they just didn't work anymore. In hindsight, some of this was down to me being scared to actually start writing - the planning stage was a bit of a comfort zone for me, despite not naturally being a plotter/architect - I have always always always been a pantser/gardener, but I got sucked into the whole "proper authors do it THIS way" narrative.

With my second novel, I did a nice amount of planning but then just bit the bullet and started drafting. I know where my story begins, ends, what my major themes are, I know all my main characters and I know my key plot points. The rest, I'm figuring out as I draft. If nothing else - I'm having a lot more fun this time around.

3. Think about voice and tense before drafting

Yeah duh obvious right? NOT TO ME. If you were following me around April time, you may have witnessed a series of minor breakdowns when I realised that, having written a whole first draft in third person present tense, the entire book should actually have been written in first person past tense. So that meant, basically, starting over from scratch. This was a big learning for me, and not a mistake I'm likely to make again.

4. Stop looking at your word count

For someone who's never really put much thought into word count before - my approach with fanfiction has already been "it'll be as long as it'll be" - I got OBSESSED with the word count of my first couple of drafts. A lot of people will tell you that any good novel "has to be" under 100k words. I constantly see this one post on Pinterest that says "I promise you that you can tell the story you want to tell in 100k words or under." I'm definitely no expert on this (and I'll eat my words when an agent tells me my manuscript needs cutting down), but I'm sceptical - a lot of stories can and should be under 100k words, sure, but most of my favourite books are much longer than this. However, I did get stuck in a "this manuscript has to be between 70k and 100k words" mindset and felt like a failure whenever it was sitting outside of that bracket. Also - keep your genre in mind. If you're writing a rom-com, 70k could work perfectly. If you're writing fantasy, you're probably going to go over that.

5. Know whether you're an overwriter or an underwriter

And related to the above - know whether you tend to write bare bones-style then add to it, or whether you tend to dump it all on the page then cut back later. I'm the first, and I knew this, but I still panicked when my first draft was only around 70k. I felt like it was rushing through the plot at an unreasonable pace and it didn't feel "finished". This was because it was a first draft. By the time I sent my manuscript to my beta reader, it was around 126k.

6. The dumb stuff works

The title of the document for my first draft was "XXX - worst possible version" and at multiple points during the drafting process I changed the font to Comic Sans size 48. It works. Completely takes the pressure off and gives you full permission to write big, write silly, write unhinged, write mad things that you'll cut back by 90% later. But it gets it all on the page. If you're stuck or cringing at yourself in Times New Roman size 12, try Comic Sans size 48.

7. Don't compare your first draft to your favourite book

Like an idiot, I did this. I still find myself doing it. It's possibly my worst writing habit. I'll type out a page at 11pm after a full day at work and no dinner and then I'll pick up a published book and think "ah man, the page I've just written is nowhere NEAR as good as this." Published books are fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh drafts that then go through months and months of editing. Do not compare your manuscript to a published book. Just don't do it.

8. Don't try to be That Author

Good writers are good readers. Absolutely read broadly, read deeply, just read. Fiction, non-fiction, poetry, everything. And it's fine to find yourself influenced by other writers - that's how writing works. But don't try to BE other writers. One of the issues I had to unpick last year was that I was reading a lot of authors whose writing styles are very different to my own. I know my own style fairly well by this point - fanfiction's a great sandbox for figuring that out - but at certain moments during my editing phases I found myself cutting away at my prose because it felt "too different" to the books I was reading at the time. This was a weird thing for me to have done, and I went back and fixed it later.

I think what I'm trying to say with this one is: take inspiration from everywhere, let yourself be influenced by different writing styles, but find your own voice and trust it. Literature already has a Sally Rooney and a Donna Tartt and a Leigh Bardugo. It doesn't need a clone - it needs you!

I'll finish by sharing what I've found to be the most useful plotting template. This obviously isn't the total extent of my planning process by any means, but after trying about a million different plotting techniques for my first manuscript, this is the one:

The 27 chapter method (more examples here)

And finally, two little character tricks that I find invaluable:

AITAH?

Character philosophy

I hope someone out there finds something useful in this post! Although I've been writing in some capacity since I was a teenager, 2024 was definitely the year I realised that I am a writer at my core. I want to be a published author, but I'm already a writer. It brings me happiness like nothing else in the world! And I love to talk about all aspects of writing, so my ask box is always very much open.

Happy scribbling! x

[strawb3rry-saturnzbarz]

☆Lighter Lorenz x Reader★

Summary: Lighter invites you to a New Year’s Day party which sounds like fun… but you were so excited that you completely forgot that one of your biggest triggers will be there.

A/N: I had this idea a few nights ago and HAD to do something with it immediately. I haven’t written since around 2021 so I’m very rusty, bear with me pls (´ ∀｀;)

(I tried to keep this as gender neutral as possible, but there is an instance where Lighter refers to the reader as a girl.)

dividers by @rookthornesartistry

Warnings: mentions of alcohol/drunk people, kissing

Notes: sfw, comfort + reassurance, confessions of feelings

You are currently in Lumina Square running some errands, minding your own business when you hear a familiar voice call out your name.

“Hey, y/n. What brings you here?”

It was Lighter, the man of your silly, lovesick dreams. Ever since you were introduced to the Sons of Calydon, you've struggled to ignore the feelings of attraction he sparked within you. It was completely hopeless; you were absolutely smitten.

Doing your best to ignore the rapid beating in your chest, you tell him you just came to run some quick errands, and he nods his head.

“Ah, same here actually. It’s my turn to get the gang’s groceries this week.” He says, feigning annoyance with an eye roll.

“By the way, if you’re interested…” Lighter starts, adjusting his shades a bit, “the Sons of Calydon are hosting a New Year’s Day party tonight to celebrate the start of another exciting year. There will be drinks, snacks, music, dancing, all the good stuff. You up for it?”

You pause and think. You were never the type to go out and party, but this was a special occasion and you happened to like lighter… a lot.

As long as he’s there, I should have fun, right?

And so of course you agreed to go. Why the hell not?

“Oh, yeah sure!” you bob your head dumbly, the only thought in your mind being how much fun it must be to party and dance with him.

“Great, I look forward to seeing you there.”

Lighter gives you the time and place, giving you a playful fist bump and wishing you safe travels before you both parted ways.

You spend a considerable amount of time making yourself look presentable, showering and putting on a pretty yet still comfortable outfit. While stepping outside to unlock your car, you message Lighter.

“Hey, i’m omw :) meet at the entrance to Blazewood?”

“Sure thing. See you around ;)”

You smile at his message and turn the keys to start the car, all the while imagining the fun you and Lighter will have together. Maybe you’ll share some snacks and chat, perhaps you’ll dance and flirt. All of the possibilities start flooding the forefront of your brain, almost making you loose focus of the road.

Once you arrive and park at the entrance to Blazewood, Lighter spots you walking towards him and waves. He leads you inside, offering an arm out of courtesy which you accept without hesitation. You can’t help the stupid grin that slipped through your lips at his handsome charm.

Once inside, Lighter leads you to a less crowded bar, sitting down beside you and bumping your elbow playfully as he calls the bartender over.

“What do you say y/n, you wanna start with some shots?”

Oh…

You had completely forgotten that you had a strong hatred towards alcohol, not to mention its effects on people. You were so consumed with your own attraction to Lighter that you didn’t even consider the possibility of feeling uncomfortable at the party.

You stumble over your thoughts, trying to form a response instead of leaving him hanging.

Do I lie and have a few? Or just…

“Uh… i’m okay. Sorry… I might just get a soda or something.”

Shit, how embarrassing. The love of your life offered to buy you a drink and all you have to say is no?

Lighter just nods and smiles softly, ordering a soda for you and a beer for himself. He didn’t plan on getting shit-faced drunk, especially with you here to see him, but he wanted to let loose a bit tonight.

You occasionally take small sips of your soda, starting to feel uncomfortable from the already hammered people beginning to crowd the bar. The loud music was becoming increasingly overwhelming, and the smell of beer on everyone’s breaths was not making things any better.

“This was supposed to be fun,” you thought. You came along to dance and have a good time with Lighter, not sit and be overstimulated by the drunk guests’ slurred singing and clumsy stumbling behind you.

“You feeling hungry? Want something to eat?” Lighter asks, leaning a bit closer so you could hear him over the crowd. His voice grounds you to an extent, but you can’t help the consuming feelings of guilt and humiliation building within yourself.

How could you forget about that? Fucking idiot. You’re too in love with him to even think twice.

You shake your head, fiddling with the little aluminum tab on your soda can.

“I’m okay, thank you.” You mutter, disguising your growing discomfort with a feeble smile.

The sounds and smells of the guests around you are becoming even harder to ignore as they call out to the bartender for more shots. The inconsiderate woman in the stool next to you keeps elbowing your arm, and she reeks of beer and cheap perfume, making your nose wrinkle.

Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.

He picks up on your subtle shift in attitude, and swivels his barstool to face you. You are typically happy and talkative towards him, not quiet and withdrawn; if anyone knows when there’s something amiss, it’s Lighter.

“Hey, what’s the matter? You seem a little quiet…” Lighter asks softly, but loud enough for you to hear him, as he places his hand on your shoulder carefully.

And that’s when you crumble. His gentle touch and genuine concern is so touching, and you are so overwhelmed with emotions that they begin spilling out for the whole bar to see. Albeit, most of the guests are too wasted and distracted to notice, but not Lighter.

Fuck, i’ve ruined the whole night. This was supposed to be fun, and I ruined it, all because i’m too fucking naive and infatuated to think before i speak.

By now, Lighter is beyond concerned, setting his drink down to gently take your hands in his.

“Hey it’s okay, look at me…” his voice is so soft, it almost feels like a comforting hug. “Do you want to step outside real quick?”

Great. Now he’s worried and you’re a pitiful, crying mess.

You try looking up at him, but it’s no good; the intense shame and embarrassment of killing the mood keeps your head hanging down. Hiding your face in your hands, you nod your head and cry, mumbling through timid sobs.

“I’m sorry Lighter, I’ve ruined everything…”

He stares at you dumbfounded and worried, trying to decipher what could be going on inside your pretty little mind.

“What do you- Here… let’s go somewhere else for a bit, okay?”

He stands from his barstool and offers you a gloved hand, wrapping his other arm around your shoulder as you walk back to the entrance of Blazewood.

Once you’re far away from the party he sits you down on his parked bike, kneeling down onto his knees as to not tower over you. Carefully, Lighter takes your hands into his and gazes up at you, waiting for anything you may say or do.

“What did you mean? About ruining everything?” His voice was gentle and non-demanding as he watched you patiently.

Through sad hiccups you manage to speak, wiping your face with the back of your hand.

“I wanted to have fun with you at the party, I really did, but I got overwhelmed and ruined everything by crying- I’m sorry Lighter, I-I can’t do it.”

Ah, so you were overwhelmed… that explains why you seemed so zoned out.

His thumbs gently brushed against your knuckles as he murmured words of reassurance. “You haven’t ruined anything. It’s not your fault that you feel overwhelmed, it happens to all of us sometimes yeah?”

“I know, but I should've known what I was getting into.” You sigh and do your best explain your deal with alcohol and how you’ve never enjoyed drinking or watching others drink.

And now it’s Lighter’s turn to feel guilty. He had been sitting there right next to you sipping from his beer the whole time, totally unaware that he was part of the reason you were uncomfortable. His eyes widened slightly as he squeezed your hand apologetically.

“Oh y/n, I had no idea… I’m so sorry if i made you feel uneasy. I would have ordered something else if i had known better…” His grip on your hand loosened as he continued rubbing your knuckles while you cried. “You wouldn’t have hurt my feelings by saying something before the party or by rejecting my offer. Your comfort is my top priority. You know that right?”

Lighter’s words mixed with the soft feeling of his gloves on your skin causes your heart to flutter.

“I know… I was just so excited to come hang out with you that I completely forgot about how I might react to everything.”

Lighter grins, somewhat flattered by your statement. “Well, I’m touched to receive such high praise, but please don’t push yourself for me in the future, alright?”

You nod and sniffle, wiping the last of your remaining tears away. “Okay..”

Lighter raised an eyebrow, knowing well enough that you tend to be a people pleaser, even more so towards those you love. “Promise me?”

“I promise.”

“Atta girl.” He carefully patted your hands as he stood up from the ground, opening his arms hesitantly and offering you a hug.

Closing the distance with a small step, you wrap your arms around his back, his own finding their way around your waist. His thumbs stroked gentle circles on your sides as he held you close, savoring the warmth of your embrace.

“Can I take you to a spot that I like to visit?” His voice was soft and airy against your hair, easing any leftover guilt you may have felt for making him drag you out of the party.

After feeling your short nod against his chest, he eased out of your grip and sat on his motorcycle, patting the seat behind him.

As you swung your leg over the seat and got comfortable, he offered you his helmet. “Here, you need this more than me.”

You smile softly at his consideration for your safety, and with your arms wrapped around his warm body you drove off to his private quiet haven.

The blue night sky was filled with stars, it was absolutely mesmerizing. The further you drove into the countryside, the more hills and trees there were, the soft moonlight hitting each blade of dry grass. Lighter pulled up to a small pond surrounded by trees and tall grass and propped his bike against one of the large trees. It was a remote and quiet little spot, the only sounds being your combined breaths and the crickets hiding in the grass.

Lighter lent you a hand as you hopped off his bike, and led you towards the water to sit down and relax.

"I like to come here sometimes, when I just need to get away for a bit. Sometimes I'll splash around in the water if it's really hot out," he mentioned with a slight chuckle as he crossed his legs.

You crack a smile and look around, taking in nature's beauty whilst fiddling with a tall strand of grass beside you. "It is a very pretty spot."

"I'm glad you think so too."

A brief moment of silence passes before Lighter turns to face you, patting your knee. "You feeling any better now?”

Although you did feel lees overwhelmed, you still felt guilty for making him worry to the point he left the party.

"Yeah, I just hate that I made you worry about me… I wanted you to have fun tonight.”

Your words broke his heard. Did you really think he saw your struggles as a burden?

He took his shades off to look into your eyes, folding and setting them on the dry grass as he took your hands into his again.

“I’m always going to worry about you, I can’t help it. I don’t need to be at a loud party with drinks to have fun, I was just happy that you showed up.” Lighter’s voice sounded warm and sincere, and that made you all the more emotional. “I care about you a lot, y’know? You’ve always been there for me when I needed someone to lean on, the least I can do is be there in return.”

“You’d better stop or you’ll make me cry again,” you joked with a light laugh.

Lighter snorted as he shook his head in amusement, his grip on your hands tightening a tad as he clears his throat.

“Listen, I’m really sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable back there. I would never do something like that to you on purpose.”

You bob your head in acknowledgment. “I know you wouldn’t, Lighter.”

Your affirmation means the would to him, shows that you trust him, and he can’t keep his feelings to himself anymore. To Lighter, you’re the kindest person with the sweetest heart he’s ever seen, your love makes him feel all mushy inside, and you deserve to know.

“I um… I don’t know if this makes you feel any less guilty, but I love you, a-and I always want you to be happy. Truth is… you’re my favorite person. I really enjoy your company, and I always want you to be happy. So… if that means driving you away from a loud party, then that’s what I’ll do for you.”

…This isn’t happening is it?

Lighter’s confession hits like a slap in the face, earning him a stare of bewilderment. Did he seriously just admit that you’re his number one? A new warm feeling fills your chest as his words sink in, soothing every fiber of your being. Your heart races in your chest as your cheeks warm from his honest declaration of love, and you aren’t sure to what to say.

And he can tell. As he sits with you patiently waiting hand in hand, the gears in your mind start turning, allowing you to speak again.

“I love you too… I always have.”

Not only do your words stir something within him, but it also brings him immense satisfaction knowing you feel the same. He starts feeling a bit bold, shakily bringing your hand up to kiss the back of it while he gazes up at you through his messy bangs.

The feeling of his soft lips on your skin nearly sends you into shock, and the stupid smile that graces your lips only causes his pulse to quicken even more.

Lighter scoots a bit closer to you, his hip pressing against yours as his arm drapes across your shoulders. The awkward, romantic tension in the air is almost palpable as he kisses your hand again, slower and less timid this time. Once his hand lets go of your hand, it travels to your jawline, his gloved thumb rubbing your warm cheek gently.

“May I kiss you?” He whispered, his deep voice floating through the air and into your ears.

Despite how taken aback you are, you nod without a second thought, leaning into his side as you gaze up at him. Lighter’s head tilts a bit, allowing him better access, before leaning in and closing the distance.

The feeling of his soft, warm lips on yours is everything you’ve ever dreamed of, and you can’t get enough of it. He feels you smiling shyly into the kiss, making his heart leap with joy as he gently threads his fingers through your hair.

After a short moment of kissing, he pulls back just enough to admire the dopey grin on your flushed face.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that…”

It’s nearly impossible to stop yourself from smiling at his sweet remark, and it just makes you want to kiss him again, and again, and again.

And so you do until the moon reaches its peak, signaling the late hours of the night. Lighter flashes a heartfelt grin before offering a hand to help you up, walking you over to his bike to drive you back home.

The night had taken quite the unexpected turn, but who knows what opportunities await for you and Lighter now that your feelings are out in the open?

[saphiccarma]

- Sweet Thing Pt.4

pt.3

Relationships - Agatha Harkness x Rio Vidal x Reader

Summary - You do your best to hold out, to not give away the secret of your home to the new pirates that captured you. Just when you think you're about to give up, your pirates in shining armor arrive to save you

Warnings: descriptions of torture

A/N: Sorry it's a lil' bit short. BUT GUYS when I say that i have spiraled into a whole siren lore and is now completely unrelated to this story...oops

Chains held your arms up, the cold metal digging into your skin harshly and holding you in place. Your knees were sore from how long you had been kneeling on the wooden floor, skin raw and sensitive to the touch. Sweat made your hair stick to your face, and you wanted to wipe it away, but your hands were held in place.

Somehow, these people knew you were a siren. They wanted to know where the rest of your kind was. Your neck ached from where it dangled, falling to rest against your chest. Agatha's shirt was soaked through with sweat and blood, tears on the back of it from how hard they had hit you with the whip. Withholding information led to pain, a biting one that slowly withered down your defenses. You almost told them what they wanted to know, or some form of lie to make it stop.

The door creaked open, wood grating and wood, and your eyes remained shut as you braced for pain. Somone crouched in front of you, a gruff hand tilting your chin up, digging into the bruises and small cuts. You winced but didn't have the energy to flinch away or even try and fight back. Any strength you had was gone. The hand squeezed your cheeks, forcing your mouth open and that caused your eyes to flutter open slowly, your swollen cheek slightly obscuring your vision.

This was your least favorite man. Which at first might seem odd. He looked like the kindest of all the crew. Even with his bulky posture, he kept his lips always curled into a fond smile and his beard made him look almost father-like. He had a tendency to speak softly, deceptively, luring you into a false sense of security. Along with that his blue eyes always shone with compassion, but it was false.

He often came to you after a long session of pain, gently clearing away your blood in a way that was almost caring, or maybe sympathetic. At first you thought he was just trying to be kind, but after he cleaned you up, he would ask you questions. You almost always answered them, seeing as they started off innocent enough before having deeper meanings that you couldn't answer. He told you his name was Henry, and he would repeat his ask, keeping his voice controlled and careful. It was foolish of you to think he actually meant well. If you failed to answer any of his questions it would result in him socking you in the face, his large fist slamming your head to the side and making your nose bleed, mixing with your tears.

The process repeated over and over again. Sometimes he brought food, water, giving you a sip or a bite, then holding it just out of reach. The only way you got it was through answering his questions. And slowly, he chipped away at your defenses, dwindling your mental walls down until you were a jumbled mess.

Henry tapped your bruised cheek with his large thumb, "C'mon, it's time to get up."

You took a moment to process his words, and by the time you had your hands had fallen down to your sides, free from your restraints. Without the chains holding you up, the cold cuffs clamping down on your wrists, you slummed further into the floor. Your shoulders ached from being strained for such a long time, and you sighed in slight relief at the brief pause in pain. That pause didn't last long before you were hauled up, Henry's hand firmly clasped around your forearm, and he was dragging you away.

You stumbled, your legs unsteady and weak, but Henry didn't care. He forced you through the ship, leading you further in. It was only a moment before he paused, slammed you against the wall, and ordered for you to stay. Even if you wanted to, you had no energy to fight his command. Giving you a pointed look that promised pain, Henry crouched, fingers digging into the floorboard. He pried it up, the wood splintering and snapping slightly, but it revealed a small compartment.

It wasn't large by any means, although it looked long, but it was rather short. Your breath caught in your throat when Henry took a hold of you again, his hand cupping the back of your neck, before shoving you towards it. For the briefest of moments, you had some energy to fight, unwilling to be shoved into the tiny area. But you were tired, all your energy was sapped, and you were skinnier than usual, and Henry was a healthy, full grown man. It was no use.

Your legs scraped against the floor as you were slid into the slot like some tool, the walls squeezing your arms tight and your feet pressing against the other end. It was suffocating and your panicked scream was muffled by Henry slamming the floorboard back into place. Wiggling slightly, you were able to pound your hands up against your cage, but it did nothing. Your voice was raw, too sore to scream, even as you tried. Your feet kicked with what minimal space you had, and your hands beat the wood until they were aching even more.

And when you finally stopped, your breath coming in ragged and short gasps, you recognized the sound of pounding footsteps above deck, eerily similar to the day you were taken from Agatha's ship, and orders being shouted out. Anxiety bubbled in your chest, mingling with the fear that coursed through your veins. Your heart thundered in your ears, louder than the thunderstorms you cowered from as a child, and that was one of the only things you could focus on. That and your rapid breathing, so apparent in the small space.

You listened to the sounds above deck, stomach swirling with anticipation as you waited, chest rising and falling rapidly. The wooden floor dug harshly into your back, burning against the cuts that littered your skin and irritating them. Your eyes squeeze shut, and you whine as your back is alight with pain, keeping you on high alert. It felt like forever before you heard footsteps directly above you, and you forced your arms to hit against the wood again, hoping to be let out.

There was a small shuffling above you, muffled voices, before the wood was pried back and you could breathe again. But then you caught sight of who was standing above you and your breath vanished again. Rio's brown eyes stared down at you, her head tilted in concern. She reached down, pausing when you flinched.

"You're not real," you whispered, but still you climbed out of the compartment, shuffling until your back was pressed against the wall, "You're not real." You shook your head, eyes squeezing shut as you tangled your hands into your hair.

Fake-Rio exhaled softly, and you could hear her move some more, shifting closer to you. She had to be fake. There was no way in any universe that they could have found you, or that they would have wanted to find you. You were a plaything for them, a toy, not someone that had any use. You had to be delusional, just hallucinating her as a way to cope with the pain. Your entire body shook as you curled tightly in on yourself, pressing against the wall as a form of support, and tugging on your hair.

Slowly, you rocked back and forth, begging your mind to return to reality. You didn’t want to get your hopes up, especially when Rio wasn't actually her. Fake-Rio's hand landed on your arm, her touch the most gentle than it had ever been, and you flinched away.

"Hey," she said softly, "Look at me." When you whine and shake your head, Fake-Rio's hand moves to grasp your chin, forcing your head up, "Look at me." Her words are repeated, firm, and you meet her eyes. They are shining with the same layer of mischief you have grown used to, and as much as you loathe to admit it, you missed. But above that was a shimmer of concern, one that was so uniquely Rio. Everything about her screamed that she was real. From the confident tilt to her shoulders, the slight tug at her lips, to her brown hair.

"Rio?" you croak, your voice quiet and trembling in the narrow corridor. The woman nods, a small smile tugging at her lips, and that's all you need to launch yourself into your arms. It's a brief moment before she returns your desperate hug, and you hardly care for the way your back burns anymore. Tears stream down your face and sobs rack your body, "You're real." You repeat the words over and over. Your entire body shakes in Rio's grasp, completely tuned out from the world around you.

You don't budge from your position when Rio stands, taking you with her and carrying you like a child. Legs wrapping around her waist, you keep your arms slung around her neck and face buried into her shoulder bone, snot and tears soaking her shirt. Her arms held you steadily, marching up the steps to above deck, and she waltzed through the chaos that was happening. Agatha had killed several people, her brutality shining through clearly, and the rest of the crew had helped.

Ignoring the pure bloodshed around her, Rio's walks the plank onto her ship, shouting something you hardly heard. You were carried all the way down below deck, and panic spiked within you again. You struggled, scared to be trapped once more, but Rio gently shushed you, her voice kind and reassuring. You just barely registered footsteps above deck once more, and the felt the ship spur into motion, sailing across the sea. Rio kicked open and door and you could smell the familiar scent of the bedroom.

She placed you down on your bed, untangling you from your tight grip around her. You whimper, reaching for her, but Rio bats your hands away. Tears well in your eyes, and for a moment, she looks panicked, but as always, Agatha comes to the rescue. Your eyes snap to her and you try to scramble off the bed and get to her. Key word: try. As soon as you are standing, your legs collapse beneath you and fall to the floor with a loud thump and a cry of pain. Agatha can’t help but smile at your eagerness to see her, but her smile is tinted with a dark edge, a clear sign of her corruption that was slowly ebbing away at your heart.

Scoffing, Agatha reaches down, hauling you back into the bed, although her touch is more gentle than usual. She props you up against the wall, taking in your face before brushing away the stray hairs that still clung to your dirty skin.

"Hi, sweet girl," she says softly, her fingers trailing down your face and along the series of bruises and cuts, "Let's get you cleaned up, yeah?"

Her hands dig into the pouch to bring out the cloth. The clean-up process is slow, intimate, and clear. Agatha makes sure to get every inch of your skin, stripping you from her oversized shirt that was now soaked in blood and sweat, stinking heavily, and tossing it to the side. It lands on the floor with a wet plop. While Agatha cleans all the cuts, getting all the dirt, grime, and dried blood out, Rio gently untangles the mess that is your hair. It's messier than it's ever been, ruined by how many times it had been grabbed and yanked backwards, but Rio is patient and kind as she undoes it all. Her fingers work with deliberate care.

And as they clean you up, taking care to treat every single one of your injuries, you stare blankly off into the distance. They ask you questions as they work, trying to bring you back to the land of the living, but you are too absorbed in your own head to take in what they are saying. Memories of the past few days flash in your mind, over and over, and you can hardly believe that you are safe again. Subconsciously, your leg bounces nervously, a steady beat to keep you somewhat present, despite your severe exhaustion.

At some point Billy knocks on the door, peeking his head in. He yelps at the sight of you naked, quickly shutting his eyes. Normally you would've smiled at his reaction, maybe even laughed, but you do neither of those. Instead, you continue to stare blankly at the wall, blinking in slow, long, pauses.

He clears his throat, "Uh, Lillia made some soup that she sent me with," he mumbled, but his eyes remain closed as he reaches a shaky hand through the door, "Here."

Agatha takes hold of the bowl, nodding at Billy to dismiss him, and he slammed the door shut a bit louder than necessary. Both women rolled their eyes as Agatha passes the soup to Rio. The younger woman, cups in in both hands, gently blowing on the side of your face in an attempt to get your attention.

"Sweet girl," she whispers, hoping the term of endearment will get you to focus, "Let's get some food in you."

On queue your stomach rumbles harshly, a clear sign of your hunger, but your eyes never move from their spot on the wall. Your breathing remains steady, but they can both see the silent panic swirling within your eyes as your chest rises and falls.

Agatha presses harshly down on a bruise, and you yelp, glaring at her. She gives you nothing but a sly smirk in return, "Have some food."

You glance at the bowl, lips pressing into a firm line, and despite your deep hunger, you shake your head.

"Not hungry," you mumble, fixing your gaze back on the wall. Agatha huffs, annoyed, and is ready to get your attention again before Rio shakes her head. Sighing, Agatha resumes cleaning you up while Rio shoots her shot.

She taps the side of your cheek softly, taking care to be gentle, "Just one bite please?" Slowly, Rio brings the spoon up to your lips, holding it there patiently while she waits for you to do something. It takes a moment, but you open your lips hesitantly and Rio tips the soup into your mouth. That's all it takes for you to snatch the bowl away from her, unaware of the triumphant glance she trades with Agatha, and down the food in a just a minute.

Your hands shake around the bowl after it is emptied, and it clatters to the floor. You wince at the noise.

"Sorry," your words are hardly audible, but neither women care, both just glad you ate something. Rio smiles softly, her hands cupping your face in the most caring way possible, and she turns you towards her.

"I am glad you are safe," she whispers, pulling you close, before planting a soft, gentle kiss to your lips. You melt into her touch, arms grabbing at her shoulders.

And you thought they were your saviors in that moment, but little did you know that this was just the start of their corruption.

Taglist: @vigilante24ish

[tobuo]

hey so !!!! @mstalltale your point is really interesting and got me thinking so i wanted to add it on to this post. hope you don't mind! i still don't think they're going to bring him back as was, or at least, i'll be really disappointed if they do for the reasons i touched on in my original post, and a few more here, because i think it would cheapen the sacrifice BUT this whole bit of lore is really interesting and touches on a whooooole bunch of other lore i enjoy....... so now im speculating for fun tehehe

SPOILERS FOR OCHKANATLAN, 5.3 ARCHON QUEST & MAUVIKA'S STORY QUEST + SPECULATION ABOUT CAPITANO, XBALANQUE & THE PYRO SOVEREIGN UNDER THE CUT.

FIRSTLY im not sure his lack of face reveal means much. i think it was probably hoyo wanting to let the player know just how horrifying the curse is by explaining capitano as being eroded/rotted beyond recognition... but feeling it might be too graphic to show. but i could be wrong!

as for the crucifixion nails in his symbol, for me that kind of alludes to the fact that capitano died for someone else's sins. mauvika was the one who used the ruler of death's power, she was the one who committed that "sin" and whose life should have been forfeit as a result, but capitano took her place and i guess, in turn, resurrected the lord of the night/the night kingdom that wouldn't have survived if not??? maybe?? you could also say he died for all the other souls that were with him too, to grant them peace they otherwise wouldn't have been given

that said, i definitely think it's interesting that hoyo went the route of having his body remain rather than doing what they did with signora lol. i don't think you're wrong that it's intentional and i DO have a few different thoughts on this sjkdfhsdf. the first is what i believe is most likely, but your comment got me thinking about the others just for fun lol. either way tho, i don't see capitano coming back.... but thats just me

SPECULATION #1 - NATURE OF NIGHT KINGDOM

my main theory would be because the basis of the night kingdom is as a kind of..... liminal space for souls to exist? "between body and mind, life and death" in the words of the genshin wiki, so it makes sense that capitano's death was a spiritual one rather than a physical one, especially considering his curse and that he kinda merged with the lord of the night who rules over the night kingdom. mauvika also mentions that for those afflicted with the curse of immortality that being removed from the physical plane is a kind of peace... i cant remember/find her exact words here im sorry to me that implies that he, and other khaenri'ahns, can't physically die... but that their souls... can? or at least can transcend to some other place where they might escape the curse. if we then also assume this means the khaenri'ahn curse is a physical affliction it makes sense that his body would remain since ronova "upheld" the rules and the curse. that's the whole paradox and this is partly what makes me think he isn't going to be "resurrected". the whole point is that his curse/body/life force is what's sustaining the lord of the night.... him coming back.... would undo that..... his cursed body is the thing sustaining the lord of the night, so it has to remain there. THAT SAID i am definitely interested to know how much of capitano/thrain remains, if any, since he transferred his life force to the lord of the night. she says to mauvika not to seek traces of him... but does that mean his soul is gone completely? WHO KNOWS!!! i'm also SUPER interested to know what this situation will mean if the traveller/their sibling ends the curse of immortality too

SPECULATION #2 - VESSEL FOR XBALANQUE

this is a bit more out there skdjfhsdf but...... the crucifixion nails in his symbol.... which then leads to the idea of resurrection. BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE CAPITANO'S? there are a LOT of mentions of xbalanque, and he even "appears" in mauvika's story quest. temporarily. he himself says the body he appears in he's "only possessing [it] temporarily" and that the borrowed body is "a bit lacking when it comes to exercise, and hasn't really trained any aspect" but that he has "[his] own plans". AND WHO JUST HAPPENS TO HAVE A FREE BODY RIGHT NOW POTENTIALLY? PRIME REAL ESTATE. MY MAN IS EMPTY one of the main things we also know about xbalanque is that when he killed xiuhcoatl (the pyro sovereign), xbalanque was "revived from the flames". there's a lot of mentions throughout ochkanatlan especially about the everlasting flame of life/primal flame. when the traveller awakens to the pyro element, we even make offerings of burning flint which has a "fiery pulse" to capitano on the throne of primal fire. in ochkanatlan??? i know mauvika's story quest kind of presents it that this one day trip was xbalanque's reward for the "bet" he made with ronova and that he's not planning to return because he "gave" the rest of the "life force" ronova granted him to mauvika after their duel so its highly unlikely but......... the possibility is out there....... especially since, as you said, death isn't an absolute in natlan and the ode of resurrection does still exist in some capacity. maybe the throne of primal fire works as another kind of ode of resurrection??? i definitely think it's intentional that we offer those things to capitano's body/the throne. okay SO maybe i just want playable xbalanque because his lore is SO INTERESTING TO ME and he seems so funny but this is a fun theory all the same

SPECULATION #3 - VESSEL FOR PYRO SOVEREIGN/XIUHCOATL

even more out there...... but this speculation involves much of the same ideas as xbalanque being ressurcted using capitano. some ppl in natlan do think xiuhcoatl is still in the volcano, just in some kind of statis/hibernation or that a husk of him remains after xbalanque killed him but............. again........ if the primal flame/sacred flame/flame of everlasting life etc. has the power to resurrect....... who's to say it's not possible to reawaken the pyro sovereign this way..................... using the throne of primal fire....... ESPECIALLY SINCE THE ARCHON'S SEAT WHOSE POWER COMES FROM THE SOVEREIGNS IS THEIR "DIVINE THRONE".......... lol i don't think this one is super likely, i tend to lean more towards the idea that our little saurian companion will somehow be related to or become the vessel for the pyro sovereign (they are "the chosen of dragons" and have the "flamelord's blessing" after all) BUT we do know from neuvillette that the sovereigns can be reborn in human form............ and its just a fun theory to imagine lol

anyway if anyone has thoughts on this, i'd love to chat about it more!!!!!!

ppl complaining abt capitano ~dying~ like it isn't the most thematically appropriate end to his story. none of the actions we've ever seen from him have been for personal glory or gain. it's perfectly in keeping with who he is to sacrifice himself for a cause like this. it was his choice, on his terms, with the added poetic justice of spitting in the face of the very being who cursed him and all the other khaenri'ahns after suffering for hundreds of years.

like............. yeah it's sad that he's likely never gonna be playable, but honestly i think his storyline was so narratively satisfying and a really gorgeous, fitting end for a really interesting character

[almosthonest]

Target On Our Backs

this one is a more funny one i promise. this is something else @sopaprimordialy and i talked about and gave me a little prompt idea so here you go! :)

─────────────── ✦ ───────────────

Reckless. Absolutely reckless. Peart couldn't believe this. After what they had just gone through with the Turnbulls ACs, there's another gang that's got a hit out on them. They were lucky that they got away the other time. The Furies might be a totally different case. They were totally capable of taking their turf. They had no plan, and they barely had defense. What were they going to do.

Peart was absolutely pissed. He was tired of constantly having a target on his back. The Rogues are now back on their own turf. He's tired, his drumsticks broken, the wound that he covered with the bandage was bleeding again and he has to cover it with a new one after fighting another gang off. He's had it. And all Luther could do was laugh on his face, which irritated him so much more. So much, that he pushed him up against a wall.

"You think that's fuckin' funny? Huh?" Peart growled, "We've got another target on our backs and you think this is a fuckin' game!"

"That's how games work, Peart. You win some, you lose some, and right now, we've won," Luther said back, pushing Peart off of him.

"Look, they had our stuff, if Luther hadn't set that fire──"

Cropsy. Always willing to defend Luther, even if it got him in extreme trouble. He didn't understand it. It was like some sort of Stockholm Syndrome. But Peart knew one thing, Cropsy was paranoid. So why wasn't he paranoid about this?

"I do not wanna hear what you have to say in defense of him right now, Cropsy!" Peart told him.

"Well, you're gonna hear it, and you're gonna hear it good," Cropsy said.

"I don't have to listen to shit!" Peart yelled back.

Peart had started to walk away. Cropsy wouldn't let him. He grabbed onto his wrist, pulling him back. "Luther had to do it, otherwise we would've been fucked," Cropsy told him.

"We're already fucked, man!" Peart replied back, his voice still raised, "there are other gangs going to try and ambush us! If that's not fucked, I don't know what is! I would've rather dealt with the consequences."

"Well maybe if you would've been quicker──"

Peart looked at him. He stepped closer, their foreheads almost touching. Hazel eyes are sharp like daggers. If looks could kill, it would've been that one, and Cropsy would've already been on the floor.

"The fuck did you just say to me?"

"You heard what I said," Cropsy said back.

The other gang members are watching the argument go down. They're staring in awe, and a little bit uncomfortable. They don't know what road this was about to go, but they had a feeling it was either going to the fist fighting or an alternative route. Either way, they didn't want either happening.

"Uh ... Should we break this up This seems ... A little gay." One of the other gang members asked.

A couple other gang members shrugged. They didn't know what to do, and frankly, they didn't want to get into it. But that one gang member couldn't stand to see it any more of it. In fact, he stood up from where he was sitting.

"Alright, alright, guys, I think that's enou──"

Smack!

Down goes the tagger. Peart hit him right in his nose with one of the drumsticks that he was holding. Cropsy is in shock. He ignored it.

"Why don't you mind your fuckin' business, pal?" Peart growled.

"Hey!"

Peart turned. It's Luther again. He's pissed. "Do that again to one of them and I will wrap my hands around your neck."

"Oh bull-fuckin'-shit, man!" Peart yelled back, "the only person you'd probably do that to is Cropsy if he questioned your tactics."

"You wanna try me?" Luther asked.

Peart raised his brows in amusement. A small smirk appeared on his face. "You just wanna wrap your hands around someone's neck so bad," he said to him, "you into that, Luther?"

Luther scrunched up his nose. "What are you implying?"

"Nothing!" Peart answered, "you just got a real bad habit of pinnin' me and Cropsy up against walls."

"You're fuckin' sick, man!" Luther growled, before walking past Peart, nudging his shoulder as he passed by. He shut the room door, hard. Yeah, that ruffled some feathers.

Peart chuckled. "Knew that would get him to shut the fuck up," he mumbled, before walking away from Cropsy.

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 45

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Grian's (Mother Spore) pov*

Ok, you are done. You thought this was going to be exciting...and it was! At first...but Xonorth and that Quackity guy been talking about what is basically nothing for the last hour and it doesn't seem like It's going to stop being like this for a while still.

You are bored out of your mind, the other villains are fully out and Mumbo looks like he's one loud noise away from folding onto himself and becoming a black hole... You haven't even begun discussing the actual plan to defeat the cult thing! And that's the whole reason why you are here.

So you cough up, you get everyones attention and the room's temperature drops. Everyone is staring at you, Boogeyman is frozen, the duck guy is intrigued, Xonorth just looks offended and the others seem to just be confused.

Mumbo tries to get your attention.

"Mother Spore!"

"..."

"What do you think you are doing???"

"..."

It's kinda sad to watch him struggling like this, you wonder why he came here in the first place when he's so socially anxious. . . He does deserve a bit of an explanation though, call it pity or call it sticking to your deal with him.

"I got bored"

. . .

"Wha-"

You turn.back towards the table, the room only growing more cold as you push fungi to grow in the corners and darker spots of the room.

"I'm sure everyone here was flattered to have been invited here... However I feel the current discussion isn't going anywhere."

Xonorth hits the table with his fists and Mumbo barely restrains himself from jumping back... Xonorth just snarls at you, quite pathetic really.

"These are matters between me and him, do not speak of that which is not any of your buisness Spore."

"They became my buisness...no, our buisness, when you decided to discuss it so boldy here in front of us during this meeting... And It's Mother Spore for your information."

"How dare you! You-"

"Really it is... surprising that you would divulge your own business so freely in front of so many people. Really, if said buisness was anything of worth you would have put yourself in quite the sticky situation. Of course, luckily for you, everything you have discussed thus far was truly a waste of everyone's time."

You hear the noise of someone covering up a laugh and something resembling a dying breath, you can guess the latter was Boogeyman, call it a hunch...

Behind Xonorth tendrils grow out and spread, the others don't really look impressed, so that's how he wants to play? His loss. You can do that as well, the wall behind You is soon covered in mycelium... He even tries to attack you, sending a tendril your way but you just sidestep it and grab it, as you keep hold on it as mushrooms begin to grow onto it until it is dried out completely and turns to dust.

"Me and Boogeyman were told there would be no fighting here, clearly we were lied to."

Here the casino owner is shocked out his stupor and moves to de-escalate the tension between you and the other.

"No! Ehm, I mean, I'm sure we can resolve this like civilized men."

Can you, you are no man and Xonorth is hardly civilized.

"We have still much to discuss after all. For example-"

"The plan. To deal with that...eggpire problem?"

"Ehm, why yes!"

"Perfect, then we'll stay here a while longer, just to hear the details"

You sit back down, Boogeyman is still frozen in place, you might have to check if he's still alive though, It's hard to tell still the way his breathing is so shallow.

"Recently I have discovered a banquet is going to be held by the Egg bastards and I got an in on how to get in."

Boogeyman unfreezes at that and still slightly shaken asks one very important question.

"And why do you need us?"

"You, I need you for some technical work to deal with some of their weirdly advanced protections, they spent a pretty huge amount of capital on protecting their egg... As for everyone else I might have a way in but we need power if we want to do anything against them"

"So? You want to crash this party then?"

"That's the plan, at least the basis of it"

". . . I see, guessing there's more of it."

"Of course, that's what I hoped all of you would join me in ironing out."

[weaselle]

i have a dog client (just one, starting a new business is hard) and she's a two-ish year old husky who was rescued only a couple months ago. I've been working with her for a couple weeks now and she just decided she could trust me yesterday. And i think the reasons why are interesting

So huskies can be sort of aloof, it's easy for a husky to decide they don't really care about you unless you are doing the exact thing that holds their attention. But it was more than that with this dog (she's named after a cheese, let's call her Gouda because she's [mario voice] a good-a dog) I think her experience in life thus far has been a bit traumatic

(this doesn't mean she was beaten or anything, everyone always jumps to that conclusion, but dogs are sensitive social creatures, and just being an orphan in a system that controls you so completely and never knowing who you can form a close bond with could be real trauma... i was given up at a young age by my own parents and it fucked me up pretty good even though i was adopted by my aunt, so i can only imagine what it might be like for a dog to be passed around for two years)

Anyway, she is very withdrawn (tho loving with her new family) and also tends to raise hackles and stiffen up when meeting dogs. For this reason i've been walking and running her alone because i walk some other dogs (not clients, it's part of my customer acquisition technique to be seen out with a pack of dogs) and a couple of those dogs are ... also not the friendliest. So i wanted to set her up for success by giving her time to get comfortable around me and the new activity before i introduced a possible stressful situation of other (grumpy) dogs.

At the meeting there was a growling and snapping situation and I had to use my Big Dog voice (just a big deep "hey" with my full diaphragm) and get between them and shut it down. Then they settled and we went on the walk, during which time there was an additional teeth and snarl moment from the other grumpy dog that i shut down immediately. The rest of the walk they were fine - during the second half i transitioned away from walking between the two, and ended with them walking next to each other close enough to bump and they did great.

Anyway, when i went to drop off Gouda at home, for the first time she really responded to my goodbye, licking my face and nuzzling my ear and bumping her head into my chest, whereas before she wouldn't even walk back over to me for goodbye petting once she was home.

I'm pretty sure it was the interactions with the other dog that did it. Specifically three things

A: for the first time she saw me defend her against another dog, so she knew she could count on me to back her up so she could relax

B: she saw that i was maintaining order and discipline and wouldn't allow dogs to be in altercations so she could relax

C: this is the more nebulous one but one i think is the most interesting: I believe the situation with the other dogs helped her to see me at a high level of disapproval, yet remain within behavior parameters that allow her to feel safe. In other words, she saw me in a situation where dogs were breaking the rules in a pretty big way - a semi fight situation where theoretically i would be at my most threatening or angry - and my response was not scary, i didn't get physical or punish or hold a grudge etc.

I think that last one really cemented it for her, because now Gouda knows if she gets something wrong and makes me "angry" it's going to be okay. So she can relax.

Taken all together, her experience yesterday was that i will defend her against other dogs, i can and will maintain order in the pack, and, importantly, even if she gets something really wrong or i'm in an "angry" situation, i'm safe to be around.

and now we're good friends.

[thaltro]

Hey, I analyze your bad guys design on TikTok awhile ago, so I really want to analyze the new design of Atrophy mostly on the color scheme you picked and little bit things I said before but add too it. The color looks so good! The white is really nice with the color green slime/goop that Atrophy is made out of, it makes him stand out. Which I believe that what he would want because he definitely has a complex on not being enough so a white suit will make him pop out from others. Also the base symbol of white is purity,innocence, and goodness everything Atrophy isn’t but something he was as a child(if we go by the canon were passive was the kindest person in the multiverse in his story). The mask thing is definitely stuck to his face no doubt about it.how you add the moon and sun theme is so genius, it a subtle detail were it reminds the audience that Atrophy will always be connected to dream and theirs au, even if he doesn’t want to be. Because the mask is stuck on there but I don’t think the tie is so even if Atrophy say he doesn’t want to be connected to dream deep down he does he always has/will/be connected to his brother whether he recognized it or not. The way you made the green more bright on him is great, the base green symbolism is New beginnings, peace, nature, harmony, jealousy, greed which only some those really apply here the New beginnings, jealousy, greed and nature (only a little bit on the nature because it connect him to his mother who became a tree). The new beginnings (him changing looks entirely, his name and like you can say his personality him now and when he was child)(also what goes to happen to him in this story) jealousy ( boy has been jealous since day one) and greed (and this might be a lot of a stretch but believed he deserves so much better so he make sure he has the most lavish things,items,clothes,food, he collections things he didn’t even like,hoarding it because he believe he deserves to have them, he was denied so much as a child so now he has the privilege to make sure no one get more than he had as a kid) even though he secretly hate himself so deeply. (I talk about this before but I promise I adding something new!) He named himself Atrophy because he sees himself as a waste/effectiveness but he rename himself even though nightmare have more villain definition being a frightening, unpleasant because he needs control over himself he needs to feel better about himself so he rename himself because it gives him control, he can’t be hurt when people call him Atrophy because he himself calls himself Atrophy. No one can hurt you as badly as you can yourself. That how I believe why Atrophy name himself Atrophy. Anyway I think this get long enough, I will be back! I can promise you that I’m so excited for your story and everything you have planned! Also I should add psychology has a lot matching colors as Atrophy so it says a lot about these two, maybe I’ll get psych (rubbing my hands evilly to gather) anyway bye bye have a good day or night wherever you’re at!sorry about how long this is and if my writing isn’t the best.

How the hell did you interpret all that accurately? /not mad

I haven’t even posted the webcomic and I have a lot of people send me really accurate interpretations of Atrophy, this one is really good.

Yk in nightwatch I wrote for atrophy not to be shown nuanced or sympathetic light until like mid act 2. Like he does HORRIBLE shit for the majority of the comic, I have to make a chart of content warnings just for his actions. If I ever garnered a small fandom around it I expected little to no analysis of him but I post one picture of him lol and I have like character design theory essays in my ask box.

You are very right on why he named himself, I love how you worded it too.

Atrophy is a hoarder for the exact reasons you mention, Atrophy tries to embody what he never had- power, wealth, and masculinity. Having trinkets and a large home are included in that. He hoards food too, he has an entire basement that he dedicates to non perishable food that he will never eat, as he can’t eat food. He doesn’t know why but it feels safe with it there.

You also noticed how psych and atrophy have color schemes similar, which is 100 percent intentional. All of the characters i directly parallel have similar color schemes. Atrophy and psych are Enemies but also the closest and most familiar to one another. To atrophy psych is just a mirror of himself, which creates a oddly hateful, dependent, and egotistical relationship with him.

The color symbolism especially the green symbolism is intentional. Atrophy is greedy, gluttonous, and jealous and I always associated that with green. He’s also supposed to resemble a wine bottle with his color palette- as a reference to his lavish lifestyle. The moon and sun motifs are in reference to his brother. It’s the only thing atrophy genuinely feels bad about.

I don’t know if I said this already but dream thinks his brother is dead, not in a metaphorical way in a genuine way where he hasn’t seen him in hundreds of years and was told he was murdered. Atrophy is aware his brother probably believes this, but thinks it’s best for them to never meet as he’s changed so much that him dying is not too far off from what he is now. But dream is always at the back of his mind, which is why he has a lot of motifs.

I love this analysis aughsh

Thank you

[blackheart-6]

dess-ember day 31/31

very long thoughts below the read more!

hi yall

woo-hoo, ive finished another month of dess-ember!! it really has been fun, if very time consuming, but ive made many pieces over this month ive loved and had a great time sharing them all with yalls 😄😄😄

but anyways, lets get to the final entry! its a bit of an unusual one :D

its some pixel art!! i have only done 2 other pixel things this month (i originally wanted to do more, but i am very slow at it 😔), so i felt like ending with it wasnt a bad way to go!

i took dess, noelle, berdly, kris, ralsei, and susie and made some different sprites of them, which were taking the way i draw them and making them into sprite version, and also me making omori style versions as well

i had a couple different versions of the art, layed out in different ways, but stinky tumblr only lets me have 10 images. unfortunate 😔.

but anyways, now weve got the main part, each individual character! you can skip past this if you dont want to hear my thoughts i had while doing the individual drawings, its kinda alot :/

i put them all in a format like this, hopefully it isnt confusing!

we can go in order of how i have them in the very first image, so we can start with kris :D

kris was a very fun one to do, they were actually the second one i made, and them turning out so well is what led me to making even more. i feel like im pretty much entirety happy with them, the omori style turned out cute, and the deltarune style isnt half bad either! i did forget to give them bangs though, like i normally give them in my art, but i was too much of a bum to go back and fix it after i finished :|. i feel like they translated very well ❤️

next would be ralsei, but im doing him last actually, because he has the most to talk about 😤😤

now weve got susie! her hair in her canon form was tricky to translate into the omori style, but i think it was worth it, cause it turned out well! and i think her canon dark world omori sprite might be my favorite i made, her outfit turned out great!! im not as fond of my versions of her design, they didnt translate that well into sprites, but it could be worse lol. her face was a bit difficult to do, since the omori head shape is meant for a human, but i think she turned out good regardless 💜

next is berdly, and im so sorry for him, he turned out roughhh. if i thought someone like susie, with her head, was hard to translate into the omori style, it was nothing compared to trying to turn berdly into it. with his beak and his head feathers and wings and his legs... yeah, it was not a fun time 😔. i tried though, and i dont think its entirely bad! the legs are probably the worst part, they are kinda hard to see, but the rest of it came together... kinda. dont get me started on turning my version of him into a sprite though, i dont wanna talk about it 😫. sorry berdly, if i ever sprite you again ill make it up to you 🩵

next is noelle! she was the first i did, and i feel like she turned out so cute 🥰🥰🥰. her dark world, my version, deltarune style sprite might be my second favorite one i made, i think it actually translated well to sprite art. her fur is a bit rough, gradiants are tough in pixel art, but i dont think its that bad overall. but yeah, im pretty happy with her 🤎

penultimatly, weve got dess! gotta have her, its dess-ember after all!! hers was hard to do, trying to take my own design and alter it to make it more canon (mostly, i just simplified some things, but i dont think it looks enough like a canon sprite :( ill keep trying with it), but i think she turned out cute as well! im not entirely happy with it though, as i said, i might go back to fix up the deltarune styled ones at some point 💚

lastly, weve got ralsei. ohhh ralsei, how cute you are, but how difficult you were 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫. to start off with, i had a goal in mind for the deltarune style sprites. normally, when you look at the canon ralsei sprites, you might notice they look a bit different. obviously theres the hat, and the fur color, but its more than that.

theres so many differences, and yet my goal was to make the sprites lose all those differences, and be more consistent with each other. i didnt think it would be too bad, but it was a rough time. i made his hatless version easily, and i was like, oh, ill just add a hat, change his color, itll be easy!! ...it was not easy 😶‍🌫️. i did that and he looked so wrong, it barely even looked like hat ralsei at all 😖.

i mean, that doesnt look right, right?? so i had to keep editing, and changing both versions, trying to make them better. i spent so much longer on him than anyone else, but at the end, i think it was worth it! i feel like he ended up adorable, but boy was it work 😂

the omori sprites of his were pretty easy though, once i had all the deltarune sprites down i just omori-fied them, took barely any time. i did make his outline purple though, like the headspace denizens, since hes a darkner 🩷

but thats it for that! this is where youd wanna skip if you didnt wanna read all that lol. now for me to yap about this month, and dess!

i feel like this was a pretty productive dess-ember!! i definitely ramped up my art from last year, trying to do as few small drawings as possible. was that a mistake? maybe lol. it was certainly difficult, and led to pretty much every drawing being late because most of them took like 8 hours or so, but i suppose a couple hours late doesnt affect much, and i still did all 31 entries!

and id say while it was a struggle, it was a good thing i did it! i enjoyed my time drawing, and sharing all my art with yalls is always a fun time for me ^^ and i really do like drawing dess, i think i made a pretty good design for her all those years ago (like 2) 😊

there is the question though, of 'what about next year? will you do this again??' and to that i say... i dont actually know haha. i would want to, even if im busy i could always do a smaller one, but the real thing that could affect it is that, in 2025 we are getting more deltarune!!! im more excited than i could ever say, but if we see dess in canon, then i dont know if ill do another dess-ember. there would be my design vs canon design, which would be strange to reconcile with, and i imagine someone would probably do an official month for her of art prompts.

but thats all if she even appears. if she doesnt, well, expect me back next december to do this! if she does, ill have to think about it, so we will see then ^^

anyways, ive had a good month doing this! it may be a bit before i post new art, to give myself a break, but ill be back 😄

bye yall, and happy new year 2025!!! 🥳🥳🥳

[petalkitshadow]

Talking about: Darkstar!

So, the most recent chapter revealed some important info about Darkstar's backstory, info that I've been sitting on for a while and have many thoughts about. Now that the chapter's been out for a few days I want to discuss it a bit, my thought process on the matter and such! warning: it's long, so i put it under a cut

TW FOR: non-graphic discussions of (fictional) sexual assault and recovery from it

(and of course, spoilers for the new chapter)

PkS has a few "key scenes" that were the first things I came up with when conceptualizing the story, and imagining how I would present it. One of these was, of course, the battle with mapleshade, but a second one that's now escaped from containment is this last chapter, Petalpaw discovering that Darkstar's son, Perchshine, was born from sexual assault. I imagine some may have already picked up on it, from how Darkstar behaved, and her specific discomfort with Reedshine's kitting. I was nervous about including it, for sure. It's a very heavy topic, and I want to do it justice, and offer Darkstar the nuance and humanity she deserves as a victim.

So why include it? it's a bit of a roundabout tale... when doing my early drafts, I was amidst a listen of Yellowfang's Secret audiobook. Lizardstripe's story really stuck out to me. Warrior cats has, a few times, made it so a she-cat gets pregnant by surprise. Occasionally, the she-cat might be dismayed about it. but in time, they all come to love being a mother. Lizardstripe doesn't follow that. She's the one cat in warriors who has kits and doesn't want them. Now, since it's a kid's book series, i don't think children reading it would question her situation much, and i think the authors were likely betting on this being the case. But reading it as an adult... it really gives some unsettling implications.

Lizardstripe's situation isn't delved into very deeply. It's mostly set dressing for how Brokenstar became so evil. but it really stuck with me, as a reader. Warriors is a world with no birth control. The idea that a cat could be stuck with a pregnancy against their will was just... so horrifying to me. legitimately something I've had nightmares about! though I understand it's a children's book series so the topic of pregnancy and how one gets pregnant is very much glossed over, i still felt unsettled, and a bit disappointed with how Lizardstripe was portrayed. She was a woman who didn't want kids, so obviously she's physically abusive, evil, ambitious, reprehensible, one of the worst people in the series. But all i could think was... Why did no one help her? There's a scene where she seems like she's making a cry for help to Hollyflower, and is ignored, her fears glossed over, and she is told "suck it up, you'll learn to love being a mother". and how did she even get into that situation? was she, too, a victim of assault? I doubt that was the author's intention, nor do I consider that my headcanon/interpretation for her, but is still a way you could interpret her. which just sat with me, and really made me feel icky. Petalkit's shadow (and all my warriors headcanons, writings, etc) is a lot about changing things I find unsatisfactory or frustrating about the books. so, I wanted to try and create some kind of response to Lizardstripe, while also writing through my own emotions and fears, to create a story i found compelling.

Thus, my idea for Darkstar was created. I wanted to approach this concept I saw in Lizardstripe, but from a more sympathetic angle. What would happen, how would a cat in this society feel, if they were made to go through something so horrible? Darkstar has been put in an awful situation... she really has no good choices. Her belief is that any kit in RiverClan is entitled to the safety and community they have to offer - we saw that when she allowed Petalkit to stay. Making an exception for her son, even if she was forced to bear him, would go against her principles. And sending him away, where would he go? To another clan? where he may have to unknowingly fight against his mother? To a stranger outside the clans, where Darkstar has no idea if he'll be safe? and Perchshine himself, is in a horrible position, too. Obviously, he would have questions about why his mother can't look at him, why she ignores him, why she refuses to spend time with him. But what is Darkstar to say? what is any cat to say? you can't really explain it to a child. So Perchshine had to live a life feeling unwanted, seeking attention from anybody who would give it to him, leading him to be so negatively influenced by Appledusk. meanwhile, Darkstar feels eating, aching guilt over something that isn't her fault.

She has every right to not want to be Perchshine's mother. she didn't want him. she was assaulted. he shouldn't be her responsibility. But again, she really has no good choices. That summarizes her character, i think. she is never given an easy solution. every choice she makes will always hurt somebody. she usually picks the option that will hurt herself. but When Appledusk's affair is revealed, she sends Mapleshade away. she's just a few months off an extremely traumatic experience. she confesses herself, she almost felt jealousy, that starclan would take mapleshade's kits instead of hers, when Mapleshade loved her own so fiercely. and she could see the tension between maple, reed, and apple. she knew if maple stayed, there would be more problems. problems she simply didn't have the emotional bandwith for. she put perchkit first by having him stay in the clan, even though he would be a reminder of what happened to her. she didn't step down or run away from her leadership. she continued supporting her clan and putting the others first. so I think, in that moment, she decided for once to put herself first. she sent mapleshade away. and she paid for it dearly, when she loses reedshine, her first apprentice, and one of her closest friends.

Darkstar's story up until now has been very tragic. But I don't want that to be all there is to her. The first side of this concept, of course, is "wow, this is really fucked up and depressing". but I want there to be another side to it. Darkstar endured this terrible thing, and has a lot of hurt inside of her. But in the end, she's still alive. She can heal, and she can move on. no matter what her life is still worth living, and she has cats who care about her and want to help her. I think this duality always makes a really compelling character for me. It's motivating, for me, to imagine that no matter how much you have suffered, no matter how terrible things seem, you can always keep going. (It's a sentiment I've had to remind myself many times in my life - sure, maybe giving up is easier. but your life is worth living, even when it's difficult) Alongside the cautionary tale about anger destroying you, this would probably be the other thesis of Petalkit's Shadow. Keep going, you will make it out alive. and one day, it won't hurt so much anymore. so as the story has reached this tipping point, I'm excited to move forward, and start showing this other side of Darkstar, where her recovery continues, and she is able to re-embrace the things and the people she loves!

Anyways, I've just had a lot of thoughts in my head, and wanted to finally be able to share them since the chapter got published. Thanks so much for reading everyone, i really appreciate it! <3

[driptillyoudrop]

The Brainwashing Bed

The title gives this one away just a bit, don't you think? This one may receive some revisions, like several of my recent posts. We'll see.

Consider your bed. Lay down, if you like.

It's comfortable, I hope. You spend an awful lot of time in it...although, probably not as much as you'd like. That's common. Few of us get enough sleep, these days. But let's focus on the bed itself.

A good bed is the right balance of soft and firm, providing a certain measure of support along with a certain degree of cushion. Everyone has a slightly different preference on this, sure, but the idea remains universal: your bed has to have the right balance.

Beyond that, it should keep you warm - but not too warm - and cozy. Pillows and blankets and comforters and all those nice accessories help with this, that's true. Your bed may be any of several different compositions, ranging pretty wildly in cost. It could be one of the larger investments in your home.

But underneath all that variability, the goal is shared. A good bed helps you sleep. You feel safe in it; it's easy to get comfortable, relax, and enjoy the way it feels.

This makes it the ideal delivery mechanism for a particular experiment of mine...not that I'd modify your bed, of course. The experiment is a fun one to discuss, however, so indulge me a bit, won't you?

I thought you might.

Consider your bed, with a subtle shift in purpose. It remains primarily designed to keep you comfortable, warm, and safe, but there is an additional function hidden beneath. There is an intent to guide that relaxed version of you into a state of compliance, submission, obedience. In short, something has been done to your bed so that it will help brainwash you.

It's perfect, really, don't you think? All the necessary components are present already. Your brain associates the bed with comfort, safety, relaxation, sleep...so the bed need only be given the smallest degree of capacity to guide that state in a different direction.

It varies from bed to bed, as most experiments vary from person to person. Some are given a device that emits a low pulsing vibration: soothing, inexorable. Others receive the less-tame form of a heating pad: penetrating warmth to relax the body and melt the mind. Still others find an almost imperceptible static sound surrounding them at bedtime: slowly overpowering the sound of your own thoughts.

But it wouldn't be very scientific of me to reveal which one you'd get, would it? You'd expect the effect and react accordingly. If I were going to make those modifications, your bed would receive all of those upgrades...and perhaps more.

Like I said, though, I wouldn't do that. Well, not unless you volunteered for the experiment, or really really really wanted me to do it. What other things would I change about your bed? Good question.

Subtle is the goal at first. You shouldn't notice anything immediately; it needs to take awhile. You'd find it more difficult to think, of course, and you'd feel more willing to accept my words without a second thought. Would you be able to distinguish that from simple drowsiness, though? Would it be too late by the time you did?

That's the idea. Your bed knows you, in a way, spending so much time together with you. It's fairly straightforward to use that knowledge to make the correct alterations. I like to provide a sense of intent, as if the bed itself wants you to surrender. If you were, somehow, part of the test group, your bed would be able to slip restraints over your legs without your perception of it.

What's that? Are your legs bound? Interesting.

It's important to relax, still, so you'd find it extremely difficult to struggle against the restraints. Whatever means of influence the bed has been enhanced with would be dedicated to keeping your body as close to limp as possible. Your mind, well, that follows naturally with your body. Heaviness makes it hard to think.

Besides, there'd be no time to really focus on your predicament before the bed entered the programming phase. That's where the design truly shines, if I do say so myself.

You see, we both know you've pleasured yourself in bed; it knows that, too. It knows the method you use most, the way your body moves, the sounds you make, the toys you've tried...all of it. All I have to do is provide it with the means to stimulate your body; it could already have your legs restrained, and spread. Oh, there are also restraints for your thighs, hips, torso, arms, and even your head. Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself, thrashing about, now would we?

The restraints can be selective, yes. The primary purpose is still to keep you comfortable (and perhaps you aren't even in bed yet, only learning about the experiment and deciding whether to participate). You'll be bound only as tightly as needed, or wanted.

What happens then? Programming phase requires you to be more receptive than usual, so you'd be stimulated accordingly. The bed has new attachments for that in case you aren't able to move: vibrators attached to arms attached to pistons and springs whirring to life between your legs, pheromone emitters beneath or inside your pillows to flood your body with instinctive heat and lust, cables to connect to your headphones and override the sounds, maybe even a gag to slip into your slightly open mouth if you tend to get loud when you pleasure yourself.

In early stages of testing, the bed simply used the influence methods - sound, vibration, warmth - to compel you to pleasure yourself. You've felt the urge before, I suspect, even before the upgrade. Simple, but very potent. It's okay, if the restraints weren't comfortable, you'll be free to touch yourself -or- use the attachments.

Once you begin to feel the pleasure from whatever source, the bed begins to feed you instructions. These are typically echoes of my words, mantras, coupled with flashes of obedience, submission, and surrender. If the restraints seemed too excessive, you'd be touching yourself while these compulsions are fed to your relaxed, compliant brain. If the restraints were necessary, the bed would be stimulating you just the way it knows you like.

The beauty of the design is that you are naturally fairly helpless when you're in bed, especially if you've been appropriately relaxed, restrained, or otherwise subdued. The brainwashing is able to flow freely into your receptive head, and by the time you've been brought to orgasm - by your own hand, or by the bed itself - you're simply...sleepy.

Because the bed, of course, is still meant to guide you to sleep. The entire programming phase, it would be draining you as much as needed. Drifting off becomes a bit of a foregone conclusion, by then.

Does the stimulation continue even after you fall asleep? Of course. Additional programming is fed to your sleeping self, even as the bed resumes its more innocuous disguise while the night goes on. Some subjects forget the brainwashing bed by the time they awaken. Others remember clearly and are drawn to it, eager to surrender again.

That's the real experiment, you see. I wouldn't modify your bed like we've discussed, unless I already have. I seem to have misplaced my notes, so who knows?

Do you have a brainwashing bed? Do you feel it calling?

Or are you already bound and being brainwashed as we discuss it?

Either way, as always, enjoy.