#but I still have never overdrank

[awesomeissy2-blog]

hello june

ive been thinking a lot about friendships recently. i started a new job and im finding it difficult to connect with the other female employees there, even though it is somewhat of a male dominated workplace. the girls are kind and including though i still feel a certain barrier when it comes to socializing with them. I am not sure how much we have in common besides work and it seems as though they do not have much interest in getting to know me. i went far outside of my comfort zone last weekend and attended a pre-game for a work social at a bar at one of the girls houses. they were all lovely and kind to me but i felt like an outsider nonetheless, but maybe that is only in my head. what is it about my friends that i have made over the past two years and these girls that changes my ability to be close to them? I am not antisocial, in fact i love going out and seeing/meeting people., especially in a bar/pub setting where conversation is able to flow freely and differently outside of the confines of the workplace. yet this bar night had my anxiety wired on max to the point that i overdrank and was sick the next day. i kept willing myself not to be nervous about it -- everyone is friendly and you'll find conversation to slip into no problem. i was dressed the part in double denim contorted into an outfit i would otherwise never wear. and immediately after stepping foot into the bar the issue became clear: i am not being myself. i am deeply insecure about being the odd one out (probs childhood stuff) and feel as though i need to present "normal" to all these normal seeming girls. this is incredibly painful and i only recognized it as i was sipping on my corona in too tight pants and my hair straight. i dont know how to end this but im making a goal for this summer, especially at this job, to stay true to myself and to work towards being secure with who i am.

[clydesgod]

❝ I feel like I was born with a leak, and any goodness I had just slowly spilled out of me, and now it’s all gone, and I’ll never get it back in me. It’s too late. ❞ [ edgar @ richard hehe ]

BoJack Horseman Prompts - Accepting!

Okay Richard. This tall person with an aura of murderous intent has just told you something sad and it’s probably best to comfort them. Whatever you do, don’t make any jokes. Got it?

“...You...er...want a plaster for that leak or-”

God damn it.

Richard quickly cut himself off, leaning forward towards Edgar as he began to try and think of words and not nokes.

“Joooookes aside. Like. Er. I’m not the best at...err...helping people but...erm...I think you’re a pretty cool guy. Despite the er...whatever you do for a living. I know you might be thinking all ‘but you don’t know the real me’ or whatever but like...er...I’m sure you have people you know who...who you trust so, so well who...who know you are a good person with goodness inside of you.”

“Like, when I was...like...in my twenties and I just left college...I sorta just...fell into a rut and just...just assumed I was, like, the worst kind of person. I lashed out at people, I overdrank too often, I pretty much destroyed my body for a while.”

“But I had...my family and I had friends who, like, despite me being such an asshole...wanted to help me out. They saw that there was...still somthing good inside of me.”

“I mean, I’m not in the best situation at the moment, but, I could be somewhere way, wayyyyyy worse. And that’s all thanks to people I trust and love. Y-you get me? Am I making sense?”

“...please let me know if I’ve actually helped out or not-”

[jadedbirch]

Silverflint, 17. "I have contemplated becoming a hermit." ✌️

“Excuse me, what fucking time of day is it?” John Silver intoned, drawing back James Flint’s heavy drapes and letting sunlight into the dark and humid room.  “Ah yes, I remember now.  It’s middle of the fucking day, James, why are you asleep?”

He turned, parking his behind on the old radiator underneath the window.  Much like the sun, it too felt incredibly warm.  

“What is this, a fucking vivarium?  How have you not cooked alive in here yet?”  

He leaned down to glare at the furnace that was about to light his Armani suit on fire.  Sadly, he’d never had to turn one of these things on or off.  Where was Muldoon when he truly needed him?  Oh yes, picking up his new suit at the tailor’s.  Silver was so lost in his internal monologue that he failed to notice that his decidedly unresponsive lover still had not entered the conversation. He pried open the window, letting in a cooling breeze and tore the sheet off from over Flint’s head.

“What the literal fuck!” Flint shot up, covering his bright green eyes with his freckled forearm as if he was about to be burned to bits by the errant rays of sunshine.  “Oh… it’s you.”

“Good morning to you too, sweetheart,” Silver huffed.  “Or rather, good fucking afternoon.  You were supposed to meet me for brunch over an hour ago.”

Flint blinked up at him with the look of a man still attempting to parse dream from reality.

“Do you even appreciate how difficult it is to get reservations at that place at such short notice?  Do you know what Muldoon had to do to get us that table?  Well… you probably don’t want to know, but likely it’s illegal in about twelve states.”

Flint opened his mouth and then closed it again.  He reminded Silver of a fish, but a sexy fish he really wanted to fuck.

“I… overslept?” Flint finally managed.  “... sorry?” he added, somewhat grudgingly.

Silver sighed in exasperation and swept an empty bottle of scotch off the nightstand.  “More like overdrank, hm?  What did I tell you about drinking without me?  Your liver belongs to me, along with all the other gorgeous parts of you.”

“That’s…” Flint shook his head, his long hair falling free of the ponytail and encircling his head like a bright and burnished lion’s mane.  “That should not be hot..,” he appeared to mutter to himself.  “How the fuck did you get in here, anyways?  I don’t remember giving you my keys.”

“I bribed my way in.  Your landlord is quite venal, you know,” Silver shrugged.  “Very unsafe.  I could have been an assassin.”

“Who the fuck would want to assassinate me?” Flint managed through a wide yawn.

Silver plopped onto the bed next to him, pulling Flint in for a lingering kiss.  “Mmmm… someone might want to abduct you and hold you for ransom…” His teeth grazed along Flint’s unshaven jaw.  “... If they find out how much I love you and that you’re my most valuable treasure…”

“You’ve got to stop talking about me like I’m some kind of a gaudy bauble,” Flint furrowed his brow.  Silver pressed his lips against the furrow in a gesture that defied all protest.  “I’m a person,” he mumbled, leaning, despite his outward protestations, into Silver’s caresses, “with actual thoughts and feelings.”

“Mmm, I knew you’d look amazing in these pajamas,” Silver whispered, hand caressing the soft fibers covering Flint’s thighs.  The pattern, if one was not to examine it too closely, resembled splatters of flowers.  However, upon closer inspection, one would be able to make out that the design was actually penises in various states of arousal.  “I’ve always wanted what’s best for you: to see you swaddled in cocks.”

“You’re ridiculous and these are soft,” Flint protested, pushing his lover away.  “And anyways, just because you buy me things, doesn’t mean you get to come in here and have your way with me.”

Silver bit his lower lip, his eyes hungrily glued to the patch of perspiration pooling in the hollow of Flint’s throat.  “No, babe, I get to come in here and have my way with you because you’re gagging for it, not because I buy you things.”

Flint clearly hated to admit when Silver was right, so he just plopped back onto his mattress and buried his face in the pillow.  Silver scuttled up the bed and wrapped his arms around Flint’s wider frame, pressing his nose into the crook of his neck.

“Come on,” he whined softly into the loose, auburn strands.  “Rise and shine, gorgeous.  You can’t stay in bed forever.  It’s a beautiful day, and I want to show you off around town.”

“I believe that you’ll find that I can definitely stay in bed forever,” Flint mumbled contentedly into his pillow.  “Of course, since you’re already here, you’re welcome to join me.”

“Oh?” Silver’s breath tickled the nape of Flint’s neck.  “Are you sure this isn’t too much uninvited company for you?”

“Well, I have contemplated becoming a hermit…”

“But?”

“Admittedly, I would miss your incredibly smug face.”  Silver heard the smile in Flint’s voice, even if his stubborn ass of a lover refused to look at him.  “And I can’t see you giving it all up to go live in a cave with me.”

Silver pressed an open mouthed kiss to the appetizing jut of Flint’s top vertebra.  “Darling, for you?  I would definitely go live in a cave.”  He smiled, letting his teeth sink gently into the meaty flesh of Flint’s shoulder.  “Besides,” he chuckled, “if Muldoon comes along, I’m sure he could turn any cave into a five star glamping experience.  He’s very resourceful, you know.”

“He’s your personal assistant, not a fucking genie,” Flint grumbled, finally turning about to face Silver’s complacent grin.

“He procured these pajamas for me, you know,” Silver pointed out, fingers lazily drawing figure eights over the cocks emblazoned on Flint’s chest.

“All right, he might be a bit of a genie…” Flint agreed, attempting to kiss and bite that shit-eating grin off of Silver’s face.

Silver practically purred as Flint’s fingers wound through his hair, grinding into the warm embrace of his lover’s warm and lax body.  But first, he still needed Flint to turn off the blasted radiator.  They were damn well capable of making their own heat.

[deafeningsandwichfun]

I saw @imaultrabossbruh‘s post and out of boredom. Why not? If you do not find me anywhere close to interesting, I agree... Bold if you relate and edit in the () Have fun! 

APPEARANCE: 

I am 5'7" or taller (I’m 1 inch away!) 

I wear glasses (I admire them but don’t have any) 

I have at least one tattoo (The fear of future sagging skin) 

I have at least one piercing (Only my ears...) 

I have blonde hair (I’m already yellow so nope) 

I have brown eyes (Typical) 

I have short hair (I used to but not anymore) 

My abs are at least somewhat defined (Wish I got them abus) 

I have or have had braces (Nope I struggle with flossing instead)

PERSONALITY:  

I love meeting new people (Sometimes? I guess it’s alright) 

People tell me that I’m funny (I have a dark sense of humor) 

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me (I care) 

I enjoy physical challenges (Depends on how hungry I am) 

I enjoy mental challenges (I like crosswords and anything with knotting)  

I’m playfully rude with people I know well (My siblings, friends, NEVER my mother because that’s just wrong) 

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it (I’m not a broken record)

ABILITY: 

I can sing well (It’s decent) 

I can play an instrument (Guitar until I had textbooks and work) 

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (Bravo! I can’t even do one) 

I’m a fast runner (I like to think there’s food running away for dear life in front of me) 

I can draw well (There’s always someone better out there, but personally I’m getting there?) 

I have a good memory (Yep, I like learning) 

I’m good at doing math in my head (Need a calculator sometimes because I doubt myself) 

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute (I broke my nose a few times in my life so I’m a goner) 

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling (I was one of those two people) 

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch (I’m proud of my instant ramen trend) 

I know how to throw a proper punch (Wish I was Saitama but end up as a wimpy punch)

HOBBIES: 

I enjoy playing sports (I got bad aim) 

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else (Again I got bad aim if you know what I mean...) 

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else (You need a screeching parrot or a cat on piano? I’m one of those.) 

I have learned a new song in the past week ([MV] Zion.T _ Yanghwa BRDG) ; I now play on loop) 

I work out at least once a week (Nah... I’m lazy.) 

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months (I don’t recall the last time I ran a mile) 

I have drawn something in the past month (Slower than a slug) 

Fandoms are my #1 passion (Education) 

I do or have done martial arts (I’ll wait for the opportunity)

EXPERIENCES: 

I have had my first kiss (Nope, I got my Mentos) 

I have had alcohol (Yes but never overdrank) 

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game (I’m sitting on the bench) 

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting (It’s never enough.) 

I have been at an overnight event (I’m staying home) 

I have been in a taxi (Cramped in the back) 

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year (Nope) 

I have beaten a video game in one day (Yes and I felt like a master until blackout) 

I have visited another country (Vietnam) 

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts (Physically:nope; mentality: yes)

RELATIONSHIPS:  

I’m in a relationship (Nope and I don’t plan to) 

I have a crush on a celebrity (Nope) 

I have a crush on someone I know (Kind of? We never talked after confession.)

I have been in at least 3 relationships (Nope) 

I have never been in a relationship (Lust! I tell you lust!) 

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them (I was an idiot) 

I get crushes easily (Nope, one was enough) 

I have had a crush on someone for over a year (Same person on bullet 3) 

I have been in a relationship for at least a year (Nope) 

I have had feelings for a friend (Nope, just hormones messing around) 

MY LIFE:  

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” (Two and they’re all I could ask for) 

I live close to my school (15 minutes of slumber on the bus) 

My parents are still together (Divorced) 

I have at least one sibling (One older sister and one younger) 

I live in the United States (I’m a legal U.S. resident by birth) 

There is snow right now where I live (Nope, not a single drop) 

I have hung out with a friend in the past month (Through hangouts and email, not physically) 

I have a smartphone (I got no phone) 

I have at least 15 CDs (All from my relative and singers’ mix-tape) 

I share my room with someone (My siblings and gosh I’m always falling off the bed)

RANDOM SHIT: 

I have breakdanced (I broke myself trying to) 

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce (I was teased a lot because of it)  

I have dyed my hair (Nope, I’ve seen too much) 

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now (Still there? It’s still [MV] Zion.T_ Yanghwa BRDG)) 

I have punched someone in the past week (I want to so bad.) 

I know someone who has gone to jail (Nope) 

I have broken a bone (My nose got no bone, does it count?) 

I have eaten a waffle today (Waffle House! Go and get one! They’re delicious. Totally not sponsored) 

I know what I want to do with my life (I’m not for certain yet.) 

I speak at least 2 languages (English,Vietnamese, and Español (Spanish)) 

I have made a new friend in the past year (Yes and they’re all the joys to my pitch-black heart)

My next victims are @ask-the-failed-american, @soma-chan3r, @theplaytheroist, @adoreinstore, @srryicntbprfct, @shemzei. Anyone looking at or reading this is automatically tagged. 

[jaystakeout]

plane clothes.

i spent a few days in la. k’s thirtieth birthday and i couldn’t miss it. coincidentally, 22 was celebrating his birthday the same weekend. my pisces friends. i chose k. a new fucking decade. i had been chatting with j a few weeks before my arrival. actually, like a few months. it had been years. the bitch in me wanted to flake on him so fucking hard. i mean like what could we possibly have to discuss? would he throw sexual advances? what are we gonna do? my anxious mind wandered and wandered. i inhaled some rolled flowers and drifted.

i booked my car and struggled to decide between a hotel or an airbnb. i chose the airbnb after a lot of indecision. a nice, never been rented one bed/one bath in long beach. i rented a cute off white fiat and cruised down the 405 and a lot of other highways to my destination. no lie, the fiat was kinda hanky. the airbnb and its host made up for my steve urkel vehicle. the host showed me around and told me to ring him if i had any questions. 

i sunk into the couch contemplating on my meal. as always, i was starving. from lax to lbc there was no food or water in my sight, another fault of my indecision. i texted j and 22 to let them both know i was on the pacific coast. j hit me back first. i told him of my hunger pangs and yelped for food. i found a mcdonalds. i mean of course, it’s not the best decision but a bitch was starving. 

i hopped in my fiat and made my way 3 blocks. i grabbed a kids meal and a soda. nothing healthy. j told me he was on his way. cool. i ate and watched reruns of martin on bet. he texted me he was near and looking for parking. i mean it was a tiny non permitted street. i walked outside to assist him. i looked for his car. i saw the break lights turning back up the street. 

he rolled down the passenger side of his white porsche cayenne. i double blinked and blinked again. hmm. inner dialogue. he told me we were going to a bar. i protested because i was literally dressed in lululemon align ii tights and an oversized shirt. plane clothes. i was not feeling the out vibe. but i exhaled and moved with flow. i ran back in my airbnb to grab my purse and locked the double gate. i slid in the passenger side of the cayenne and buckled my seatbelt. here we fucking go...

after driving around for a spot we found one. it happened to be college night. i was definitely underdressed but he urged me inside. breathe jay. i went with the flow. i ordered the first round. my favorite shot of jameson with a coke back. he drank a jack and coke. we stood outside talking and he smoked. i relaxed. the jameson was starting to warm me up under California’s cool air. he ordered another round and while he was away these two guys started chatting with me. i wasn’t interested and i was dressed like a cute homeless woman. he came back and they backed off a bit. he told me the delay was due to his conversation with a bouncer. we left and headed to an irish bar. 2chainz was the background noise. rap or go to the league had just dropped. we pulled up and he switched off the white horse. another bar some more rounds. i drank way more than i anticipated.

between the car and drive home i was out of there. i fell in the dirt as i made my way back to my rented apartment for the weekend. some where along the way i vomited, on myself and a little in the porsche. i laughed at myself. i overdrank to relax and now i’m a fucking hot mess. we got inside and i passed out. i woke up to my alarm and the sun poking through the blinds. he was still asleep. i woke him up and ask for the night’s details. he shook his head. i looked at my underdressed body. did sex happen? i asked laughing. no. he stated and dozed back off. murmuring something about my drunk ass. i was hung the fuck over. 

he left and headed back to his side of the coast. i painstakingly moved from the bed to the couch. i searched yelp for a greasy meal. i showered and hopped in my fiat to the location. it was a super cute outside place with eateries. i ordered a waffle, nashville chicken and OJ. i headed back and devoured the food. i texted him apologies for throwing up in the car and not being my best self. i slept the day away until it was time for K’s party. next time, please don’t take me out in plane clothes. i texted. he agreed. until my next visit.

xx,

j

[pinsplantsandpikes]

Banquet of the Bandes day 2, the feast (07/03/20)

Slight hangover, a lot more from lack of sleep and overheating than actual alcohol. Certainly could have done with more food given Gr's homebrewed meads repeatedly ending up in my hand.

We are slowly lounging the day away until evening. I have rebaked my Marlborough pies ready for the meal. Spoons still might be required thanks to the sherry slowing the setting process.

Cakes and sugar sticks and various snacks have piled up, banter over penises, diagnoses, and random history, and surprisingly little alcohol.

Les Mis brought a tear to many eyes when we watched it all together, and there was an attempt at a few games - all aborted in favour of the rugby lot screaming their successes or frustrations. Rh was not amused in the slightest when Wales lost - got the piss ripped out of him more than a little.

At 6.30pm the feast began with depressingly little fanfare. No awards or medals, no prizes or special mentions. Only a memorial toast to absent friends from other regiments we had lost in recent months.

There was good food, but no dancing. We had massively overcatered and overdrank, and with no movement to work it off mant had succumbed to bed by 8pm and the majority by 10pm. Very much unlike us midnight mob.

I gave up when the singing grew dull and uninspired, defeated by trying to down my rather undiluted mead-gin in one go - never do that.

For a weekend I had looked forward to so much it was a complete let down. I travelled that far to dance in a beautiful location with friends. I didn't get to see one of my friends thanks to a work clash, never saw the beauty of the local area since no one wanted to walk with me, and the ceilidh didn't happen.

All in all, I can't actually decide if it was worth it. Though I did get some tips on fixing my chemise, so maybe the Pins part of this will at least benefit.