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sapphicyanli · 3 years ago

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SO I can't get Soohyun and Jinjoo as lawful girlfriends out of my head so here's some thoughts from me:

• They definitely meet through Gaon, that's just inevitable. Either from one of those times when Soohyun picks up Gaon from his office or when Jinjoo visits Gaon at his house to work on files of their case together. There are tons of possibilities and if I don't stop myself, this post would be just me writing down a literal fict of these two.

• And one day, Soohyun just asked gaon, "Can you give me Judge Jinjoo's number? You know, for, uhm, emergency purposes. I'm still uncomfortable communicating with Kang Yohan, even when it's something about work or you, so" and of course, Gaon just give it to her.

• Soohyun, after gathering the courage for a whole week, finally sends her first text to Jinjoo. she nearly screamed when Jinjoo immediately texted back excitedly, "Oh!? Soohyun? Yoon Soohyun?! I miss you, are you well? ... we should hang out more often you know, just the two of us!"

• And Then, they goes on to so many different places to hang out after that. Jinjoo is actually a foodie as much as Soohyun is, so most of the times their destination is a viral or new restaurants around the town. Jinjoo is usually the one who suggested the place and Soohyun just happily follows her because 1) Jinjoo's pick never disappoint and 2) she's happy wherever it is as long as she's with Jinjoo. They never run out of things to talk about and Jinjoo makes every topic interesting. but even when they're together in silence, the quietness feels comfortable.

• The more they spend time together, the more they know about each other, Soohyun then realizes that this all feels new yet good to her. it's different from the "love" feeling she thought she had for Gaon, but it doesn't scare her, because why would she? she realized her heart feels like it's jumping to a cloud nine whenever Jinjoo is close to her, how she feels that being with Jinjoo is something that she doesn't know she need and want until she hears Jinjoo's melodic laugh and she wants to hear that forever, want it to be the only thing she ever heard from now on, how much she wanna hold her hand as they stroll through the street, then gives her a goodbye kiss when they have to separate by the end of their "hang outs'' because it'll at least lessening the yearning she feels towards the long haired woman whenever she's not around.

• Their height difference(because Jinjoo likes to wear heels as well)is gonna be so cute and one day Soohyun just couldn't take her eyes off of her(She actually does that a lot and Jinjoo noticer it tok but it take some time for Jinjoo to confront her about it) and Jinjoo, the ever so confident and cheerful Jinjoo, nervously slipping some few strands behind her ear, feeling a bit anxious when the woman of her dreams looking up at her with such an intensity, "w-what is it? is there something on my face?" and Soohyun answered with a low voice, shy, but with a soft smile on her face, "nothing, you just look really beautiful. as always." and Jinjoo might passed out here and there.

• Gaon, eventually being the person that sees both Jinjoo and Soohyun frequently, can't help but noticed that his best friend #1 and best friend #2 often goes missing together for various occasions and times. So, when Jinjoo rejected to join gaon and yohan for dinner at a fancy restaurant after finishing a big case, because she promised to Soohyun that she will celebrate it with Soohyun instead by going to Jinjoo's favorite cafè and to cinema that day, Gaon just blurted out, "what, you guys are dating now?" and Jinjoo just run, leaving Gaon in a complete shock.

• Later that day when Gaon sees Soohyun in front of his house with Jinjoo being the one that drop her off, he teases her, "So this is what the emergency purposes are, Soohyun-ah" and the couple just blushing and stealing glances to each other. Oh and he definitely is going to use the, "Hey hey, don't do that to me. I'm the reason why you finally has a girlfriend, you don't wanna do harm on me or I'll tell Jinjoo'' card on her whenever she's pissed at him and trying to beat his ass.

• Jinjoo would definitely check up on Soohyun a lot, no matter how busy and tired she is at the court. Asking her in the middle of the day if she has eaten lunch yet, what she wants for dinner that day, does she a have a lot works to do today, willing to listen whenever Soohyun rant to her about her equally tiring job, and then telling her to relax, that she's doing a good job and that she can't wait to see her later.

• While Soohyun is more quiet with her love language, in my opinion. she likes to observe and thus, she often prepared coffee and snacks whenever Jinjoo need to stay up due to her job when she noticed exhaustion begin to taking over her, helping her by giving her judge girlfriend some perspectives and inputs as a police officer when some of the cases stressed her out more than usual(#big_brains_lawful_girlfriends), she would massage Jinjoo's tensing shoulders from sitting for hours, and then let Jinjoo using her as a pillow when she finally gives in to Soohyun's words to finally go to sleep.

• You could say Gaon is just as happy as Soohyun is with her and Jinjoo's relationship. At one point he said, "You've been spending a lot of time in your life looking after other people and taking care of them. you deserve someone that's willing to do the same for you wholeheartedly. Have yourself some rest now, Soohyun-ah. I know it's been tiring and hard for you" and if she happen to wipe a tear or two, that is simply nobody's business.

• Later on, to a gala that the powerpuff girls(Jinjoo, Yohan, Gaon)are being invited to, Yohan raised his eyebrows in surprise while Gaon's smiling proudly when Jinjoo arrived with Soohyun as her date, their arms linked sweetly together. She's wearing the blue, sequin dress and Soohyun's a simple white suit. They spend the night parading their love, not once letting go of each other for too long, and they even dance in the middle of the room, letting everyone see how in love they are with each other.

• Oh, that Kang Yohan picture on Jinjoo's desk? it has been replaced with her and Soohyun's picture together in a pastel pink frame from their date in an amusement park. Gaon often sees her taking off her glasses in exhaustion, and then she will reached out for the frame, staring at it for a good amount of time, and get back to work with more energy than before.

• Next thing you know, lawful girlfriends then adopting Elijah. It started with Jinjoo visiting the Kangs house and Elijah saw the photo Jinjoo used as her lockscreen and said, "Isn't that gaon's friend? The one with short hair? You know her too?" then Jinjoo smugly answered, "How could I not know my own girlfriend?" and Elijah just... smiled. She doesn't know why, but maybe it's because of the way Jinjoo looks at the photo on her phone with so much fondness in her eyes and in her lovely smile it's just contagious. Then Elijah just asked, "Let's go shopping together, the three of us. and eat after that too maybe." and how Soohyun and Jinjoo could ever deny Elijah's wish to spend her time together with them whenever she asked them to?

• Yohan: She stole my associate judge AND my niece too now? I feel like I barely see Elijah home these days. Kim gaon, tell your best friend that she nee—

#this ship got me this bad #oh jin joo #oh jinjoo #yoon soohyun #yoon soo hyun #tvn the devil judge #the devil judge #tdj #mine #lawful girlfriends

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migilini · 4 years ago

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What The Heart Wants - Charlie Gillespie

Request: The reader is madly in love with Charlie who is her best friend but he’s dating and in love with her sister yk? Make it angst and sadcharlie

a/n: Sorry it took me so long! I’m so stressed with school atm so i bearly had time to write at all. I still hope you like it and that I went into the right direction. Don’t know how angsty it is.

Words: 2.3k

Warnings: a little angst

MASTERLIST

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As a teenager you spent a lot of your free time watching pretty much every rom-com that was out there, the thought of true love ignited a spark of hope in your heart. You loved the way that the characters on screen always were meant to be together, the way their love just seemed to be or else life isn't worth living.

Maybe your image of love was flawed and unrealistic. Maybe you always fell in love with the idea of a person rather than the person itself. Maybe your standards were too high and maybe that's why all your previous relationships didn't seem to work out.

And then you met him. Kinda ironic really, love, at first sight, was always your least favourite trope. But there he was, sitting alone at the table in the otherwise crowded cafeteria. His brown hair fell into his eyes while he played with the mashed potatoes on his plate, he was bopping his head to something. You took a big breath, collected all your courage that you didn't use growing up and sat down across from him.

The stranger looked up with furrowed eyebrows "S-sorry there isn't another free table." you stuttered and sent him a small, flustered smile. The boy took out an earbud "Sorry?" you started to blush, your eyes wide "Oh I- sorry I- was uhm... is it okay if I sit here?"

"Yeah yeah sure." the stranger answered and shot you a smile and gosh was that smile beautiful. If this was your way to die then so be it. "I'm Asher by the way."

"Y/N. Nice to meet you." you waved with three fingers.

After that Asher took you under his wings, introduced you to all his friends, took you to parties and most importantly helped to grow your self-confidence. You always knew who you were but with him, it was the first time where you could actually show off the real you, there wasn't a part of you that you had to hide to fit in.

Nevertheless, he wasn't your best friend. You two spent a lot of time together yes, but you didn't share a lot of secrets, your topics always being superficial. Yet, the crush on him only grew. The two of you were picture book perfect. Asher threw you into the water at the beach, screamed to lyrics in the car with you or even went shopping with you.

"Just this one party I promise," he whined one day, shoving more dresses in your chest. You huffed "Is this why you agreed to come thrifting with me? To get on my good side?" Asher smiled cheekily "Guilty. I know you don't know the people there but I really want you to go." he tried to persuade.

You looked up at him through your eyelashes, trying to hide the smirk on your lips. You liked to see him throw a little tantrum. "Fine. But you'll pay for my dress."

The host of the party seemed nice enough and you hoped to god that the guests were the same. LED Lights illuminated the living room in a dark purple. The music blaring so loud, that you could feel the beat in your heart. "Y/N this is my good buddy Charlie. Charlie this is Y/N one of the baddest people I know." Asher screamed over the music, one of his arms draped over your figure. The party just getting started as more people walked through the front door.

You gave Charlie a hug and smiled up at him. "Hi!"

"Hello." he smiled back and your breath got stuck in your throat for a good second. Suddenly Asher had competition for the prettiest smile in the world. The boy with the mischievous spark in his eye really challenged your rankings.

You didn't intend to spend the night practically glued to Charlies hip. Asher was nowhere to be found, probably smoking somewhere with his buddies and the two of you were just naturally drawn to each other. He goes to get a new drink and a minute later, without discussing it beforehand, you do the exact same thing. Or you go on the small balcony to get some fresh air and Charlie joins you a couple of minutes later, casually leaning against the railing next to you.

"I figured that I would find you out here." he nearly whispered into the night. "Yeah it seems like you've been stalking me the whole night." you teased with raised eyebrows, a slight smirk playing on your lips. Charlie's hand immediately covered his heart. "I would never! And there I was, thinking I had the honour of you stalking me."

"Alright, Teds. If it makes you happy yes of course I was chasing after your pretty ass." you winked and he let out a heartful laugh.

"Teds?" he asked.

You shrugged your shoulders and slid down the railing, your front, facing the glass doors. The party inside was raging, with people dancing, kissing, talking and laughing. Only the faint noise of the newest pop song carried its way out to you.

"You're wearing a shirt with many teddy bears on it. It only made sense."

You and Charlie spent the rest of the night outside, the conversation flowing naturally and if there was a quick silence it wasn't awkward at all. Lucky for you, the party was in the middle of the summer so you didn't mind that much that you forgot to bring a jacket outside.

After the party you and Charlie spent a lot of time together, going to museums, road trips, camping or even just hanging out in one of your apartments. Inert weeks he was your best friend and over the years of friendship, you started to develop feelings for the Canadian.

He had helped you calm down right before your first date with Asher, who finally had the guts to ask you out and picked up the pieces after you got broken up with. Asher's last words before he left, never leaving your mind: "Truthfully I think you're in love with someone else Y/N. You just haven't figured it out yet but I know. I look at you the way you look at them."

Several months later, on a trip with your family and Charlie, you realised that Asher was indeed telling you the truth and you had been slowly falling for someone else.

It was late evening, the stars started to creep up on the sky, while the sun sank lower and lower behind the trees, illuminating the world in a pretty blend of oranges and pinks. The group sat around a small fire that cracked every now and then, filling the air with warmth. Everybody was exhausted from the big hike. Trees rustled somewhere in the background. A soft melody caught you off guard, completely ripping you out of your own thoughts.

Charlie sat a couple of feet away from you, across from your sister and mother. He was playing his guitar with no special song in mind. He settled on a melody that you didn't seem to recognize but you didn't care. Charlie looked beautiful.

Over the last year, he grew out his hair, which was now in a loose bun in the crook of his neck, some stray hairs falling in his face. The warm light from the fire highlighted his features in the exact right way. His eyes sparkled with joy. Before he started to sing the song, he looked over at you and smiled. It was the same smile that haunted you since then. The one that made your heart beat faster, the one that still took your breath away, the thing you couldn't shake off and also the one thing you couldn't live without.

While you stared at Charlie during the duration of the song, your heart swelling at the sight of him. He did the same to your sister. His eyes memorising every crook of her face from her arched eyebrows down to the roundness of her lips.

It didn't surprise you at all. Growing up everybody either wanted to be her or be with her. She was naturally gorgeous with long, luscious hair and an amazing body. She had decent grades and was always nice to everybody. The embodiment of the girl next door. It was hard to build a reputation that wasn't ‘Sam’s little sister’.

Looking back, that was probably why you liked Asher's attention so much. It was the first time someone saw you for yourself.

But what did shock you was that eventually, the two became a couple. Looks-wise they fit perfectly together that much was true but you couldn't wrap your head around them when it came to personality. From your romcoms, you knew that opposites attract yet Sam and Charlie are more than opposites. Not to say that you didn't love your sister, you really did, that was the main reason why the news shocked you so much. He liked to travel the world, not to be tied to one place for a long time. He was spontaneous and carefree, always down for a new adventure or a new adrenaline kick. Sam on the other hand wanted to take over dad's business in her hometown where she already went to school and college. Ever since she was little, she dreamed of a big family that was gonna grow up in the house she grew up in. Sam didn't like leaving her little bubble, her days always planned down to the second.

Neither of them noticed your heart breaking a little more every time they kissed right in front of you or the longing looks you gave Charlie. Both tried to include you in their adventures, taking you to the cinema with them, to IKEA and Disneyland. Still, you couldn't shake the feeling that they weren't quite meant for each other. However, you kept your mouth shut just, always smiling their way, not mentioning that Charlie never went on Road Trips anymore or that Sam seemed to smile less.

“I think I want to marry her.”

You nearly spat out your drink, the fist in front of your mouth only holding back a little. The water dripped down your arm and onto the couch.

“What now?” you coughed and turned to the other person chilling at your apartment.

“You heard me right. My acting career is taking off and all the travelling made me realise that she is the one.” he smiled with a lopsided grin.

You furrowed your eyebrows, desperately trying to hide the hurt that flashed in your eyes. After trying, again and again, to get over Charlie you lost all hope. No other man even slightly compared to him, you tried to forget about him you really did. However, your heart believes that he was the man for you.

“Don’t the two of you want completely different things?” you switched into the best-friend mode, locking the jealous side away.

Now it was Charlie's turn to be confused, “What do you mean? We’ve been together for nearly two years now.”

“I just mean that she never expressed the desire to travel the world. She wants to have a big family and be a mom. Is she gonna travel to your jobs with you? Are you giving up your career to be at home with her? I just think there are so many things the two of you need to discuss before you take this step.” you expressed your concern while playing with the hem of the blanket covering you.

He stared at you for moments. Neither of you was speaking, the gears in his brain working in overload.

“Look I’m not saying that you shouldn't ask her to marry you. If that's what makes you happy, be happy. It's what I care about. I’m just saying you have a completely different view of the world.” you rambled, your eyes not meeting his anymore.

Was he mad? He normally spoke his thoughts out loud.

He lets out a sigh as he rubbed his hands over his face “Yes I know that you're right...but my gut is telling me that she's the one...” your heart cracked “and I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't ask, even if it ends up not working and you were right with your concerns. But knowing us, we will make it work. Compromise a lot, build a worldview together as a married couple.”

He smiled at you and your heartbeat quickened “I also kinda need your blessing.” he sheepishly said, slightly biting his lip.

You tried to keep your thoughts clear. “My blessing?”

Charlie nodded excitedly “Yes! I figured since you’re my best friend and she's also your sister I would ask you if you would be okay with that… I know we never asked if you're comfortable with us dating in the first place.”

“Oh, Teds," you whined, using the old nickname you had for him. "No need to ask me! As I said your happiness is my priority.” you smiled so wide that it hurt your cheeks, blinking rapidly to dissolve the tears that formed in your eyes.

He tackled you in a bone-crushing hug, placing wet and sloppy kisses all over your forehead. “Thank you. thank you. thank you! You don't know how much this means to me!”

Growing up, watching the Notebook, About Time, 10 things to hate about you, PS: I love you and many others, love always seemed inevitable, somehow it would work out. You would've never thought that you would be jealous of your sister's engagement. Who would have predicted that both sisters were gonna fall for the same guy, that one sister was happy while the other hated herself for yearning for him as well?

The 25-year-old version of you despised the 15-year-old version for loving these goddamn rooms, for believing in a soulmate, one true love, love for everyone but mostly for believing in an own happy ending.

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Taglist: @alluringworld

#charlie gillespie #charlie gillespie x reader #charlie gillespie fanfiction #charlie gillespie fic #charlie gillespie fanfic #charlie gillespie imagine #charlie gillespie x y/n #charlie gillespie angst #charlie gillespie x oc #charlie gillespie one shot

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amphtaminedreams · 4 years ago

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If We Can’t Have the Parties, At Least We Have the Coats: Lookbook no.13

Hi to anyone reading,

It’s been a weird winter, right?

A winter that I REALLY did not need to buy as many clothes for as I have. You WILL save loads of money during this lockdown, I told myself. You WILL. And yet here I am in December, in exactly the same financial position I was in March. You would think that making the switch to an environmentally friendly wardrobe would mean I own less but now I no longer have the guilt of supporting fast fashion to hold me back, I’ve accumulated more clothes than ever. Part of a sustainable wardrobe is also about reducing your consumption so now I’ve mostly made the move towards only supporting transparent companies/small businesses, I can move onto the buying less part. I haven’t thrown any clothes away but still, I am not the clothes rescuer I think I am-more just an overdraft abuser. To add to that, for those of us actually following the rules (half the people I went to secondary school with flaunting their apparently unaffected social lives on Instagram, I’m looking at you) there aren’t actually all that many opportunities to wear new outfits. Not to go too first world problems, but it is a little shit when getting dressed up and doing your makeup is one of the things that you do to help you feel a little better, especially when the seasonal (and situational in these times) depression kicks in.

So yes, I have been extra af recently and combatted this with the decision to start making an effort to outfit plan for the most basic of tasks. We’re talking a full face of makeup and accessories for going into town to get a coffee or to meet a friend for a walk. I mean, I still go to Tesco in my trackies but if I’m seeing somebody else, I am sure as hell going to treat it as a reason to wear something nice. See the winter outfits section of the lookbook as your inspiration to do the same because I can guarantee you the sense of normality forcing yourself to take makeup off at the end of the day brings will actually make you feel a lot better. Genuinely the mark of exceptional times. We’ve also got the few days relief period over Christmas in the UK where we’re allowed to mix with a maximum of 3 other households, and ignoring the fact that it doesn’t really make any sense given that the number of people you could end up mixing with depends on the size of the households and is realistically completely arbitrary (I have a lot of feelings about how fucking moronic half the decisions this government has been making are but then again, what’s new?), I’m sure those of you with big families are gonna be partying. I’m only spending Christmas with my immediate family but I thought I’d put some more festive outfits together anyway. I know, I know, it sounds like I’m just bullshitting an explanation as to why I put this lookbook together when in reality I’m trying to make myself feel better about the damage to my bank account buuuut it really is more a case of being inspired by my Depop finds and if you are trying to quit fast fashion, I can’t recommend the app enough (especially if you know what you’re looking for). As I did in the last lookbook, I will make sure to include the tags of all the people I bought these pieces from but I also thought it might be helpful to make a note of some of the descriptors I used to find them so you can get more of an idea how to find the things you’re looking for too, as well as prices. I did include the names of the shops I bought the few fast fashion items I styled from too, mostly earlier this year or at some point over the last couple of years, on the basis that they may be a useful search prompt if you’re looking for something similar or the exact item-the majority are no longer available (disclaimer: I haven’t bought anything from Boohoo in a longgg time) to buy but you might be able to find an account that’s selling a used version. Don’t be put off by that-I’ve had to wash a couple of pieces but for the most part, that hasn’t been necessary. Charity shops usually wash things before they put them out, so you have nothing to worry about there either-I expect that they’re particularly thorough at the moment considering the COVID crisis.

Enough rambling from me for now! Enjoy!

-(SOCIALLY DISTANCED) PARTY SZN LOOKS-

Powder Blue Wide Brim Felt Hat/Fedora: £16.99

Structured White Mesh Oh Polly Mini Dress w/Ruched Detail: £27

Black PVC Beret w/Red Flame Detail: £14

Red Fit and Flare Dress w/Satin Corset & Tulle Skirt: £12

Black PVC Vintage Platform Boots w/Red Flame Detail: £27

White Satin Corset w/Straps: £8

Pinstripe Cropped Blazer Co-ord Set: £12.50

Oh Mighty Strappy Contrast Corset: £27

Contrast Check Cigarette Trousers: £15

Pink Topshop Gingham Blazer Co-ord Set BNWT: £35

White Strappy Corset w/Suspender Detail: £10

White PVC Beret w/Black Flame Detail: £14

Reworked Strappy Patchwork Sports Cropped Tee: £10

Black Combat Cargo Trousers: £5

Strappy Tie-dye Pretty Little Thing Corset BNWT: £15

PVC/Vinyl Zip-up Mini Skirt w/Belt Detail: £9

White Satin Cowl Neck Mini Slip Dress: £8

Urban Outfitters ‘90s Style Celestial Print Mesh Babydoll Dress: £15

-(SOMETIMES PRACTICAL) COAT SZN LOOKS-

UNIF Colour Block Oversized Jumper/Sweater: £25

Topshop Dark Wash Denim Kick Flare Jeans w/Frayed Hem Detail: £16

Vintage ‘70s Style Brown Faux Suede Western Blazer/Jacket: £15

Black Velvet High Neck Bodysuit w/Keyhole Detail: £4

Topshop Paisley Print Chiffon Midi Dress: £15

Brandy Melville Cropped Motorcross Slogan Slogan Tee: £13.60

Ragged Priest Gingham Cargo/Combat Trousers w/Utility Style Buckle Detailing: £33

Black Kappa Logo Beanie: £12

White Platform FILA Disruptors in Good Condition: £55

Black Fur Bucket Hat: £8

Celestial Silver Moon Detail Chain Belt: £18

Black Satin Cowl Neck Detail Midi Slip Dress: £15

Floral Print Platform Boots: £10

Blue Denim ASOS High Rise Mom Jeans: £12

Brown Vintage ‘70s Style Afghan Coat w/Fur Trim: £25

Teal Wide Brim Felt Hat/Fedora: £10

Topshop Floral Print A-Line Jacquard Mini Skirt: £7

Lana Del Rey Screen Printed T-Shirt: £9.99

Vintage Corduroy Contrast Stripe Trousers w/Kick Flare: £28

Anyone that read to the end, thank you so much as always and I hope this shows just how many in-trend pieces you can find second hand! I know I'm SUPER far behind to the point where it’s closer to the F/W2021 shows now than it is since the S/S2021 collections were showcased but I decided I am going to do a full length fashion week review. I also have a few moodboards planned and my next is gonna be one focussing purely on plus sized fashion as the feedback that I got from my New Style Icons post was that I could have included more bigger girls; I am so, so, SO passionate about body positivity and fat acceptance, especially since I know my own relationship with my body would be so much better if this kind of movement was more prominent when I was younger, so I don’t for a minute want anyone to think it was my intention to be exclusionary in any way. It bears repeating that I genuinely appreciate feedback in any form (as long as it’s not too mean and presumptive, lol) and I hope the next post doesn’t disappoint! It hasn’t been a good year for cinema due to COVID having lead to theatre closures, however I still do want to do another film tier ranking in the new year as that is something I really enjoyed doing last time. Any more suggestions are welcome!

As always, my inbox is always open if you need someone to talk to or just wanna chat about a post:-) I am constantly on the look out for new blogs to follow and people to interact with so any communication is welcome. I’m not sure if I’ll get another post finished before we enter 2021, SO I wanna say that I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and that this shitshow of a year DOES come to an end at 11:59PM on the 31st because THOSE MEMES ABOUT IT TURNING DECEMBER THE 32ND ARE NOT FUNNY! Here’s to our second attempt at our first year of the roaring twenties (because this past year it feels like we skipped them and went straight to The Great Depression, the likely incoming recession denial is real) and to happier times and good health for everyone.

Lauren x

DISCLAIMER: Background in the first 2 images are mine, others are not. I found them on Pinterest so not sure of the artists but if you do know, drop me a message so I can credit them!

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insomnihan · 5 years ago

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han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Deja Vu”

youtube

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MY TIME HAS COME 2.0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FULL INSOMNIA MODE DONT. LOOK. AT. ME.

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG OKAY LETS JUMP RIGHT INTO IT i wasnt expecting something lowkey sad BUT im not mad at it!!!!!!!!!! i had conflicting emotions when i desperately wanted to cry but also headbang?????? HOWEVER thanks to force and air the tears in my eyes were drying as i headbanged- LIKE this song really PUT ME THROUGH IT like that chorus didnt have tO DO ME LIKE THAT™!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT THEN THE VERSES AND THE PRE-CHORUSES WERE SLOW (and the bridge but bridges be like that in nearly all songs) WHICH IM ACTUALLY REALLY INTO it was like being in a roller coaster with the verses being the slow hill and the chorus was the fall THAT PIANO GOES HARD...................... but like in a soft way????? DONT ASK ME WHAT IM SAYING IS IM A HOE™ FOR PIANO THOSE DRUMS DURING THE CHORUS STOP IT I CANNOT I FELT THEM VIBRATE THROUGH MY BONES

like i DEADASS have nothing to criticize or change about this song its PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS (except for like more gahyeon and dami????? pls??????)

siyeon starting the song.......................... thank you.............. I STILL STAND BY SAYING I WOULD LISTEN TO HER VOICE FOR LITERALLY FOREVER HER VOICE DURING THE CHORUS QUEEN OF SINGING CHORUSES OH BUT THEN THAT HIGH NOTE ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????? SHE DIDNT HAVE TO KILL ME LIKE THIS BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH I- and now....... im in the deja vu P L E A S E

gaaaaaaaahhhyeeeeeooonnnn her voice is so pretty!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I WANT MORE!!!!!!!!!! HOWEVER youre the second one to sing with this beautiful gentleness of a part and to be honest this part paired with siyeon starting it really eases you into the song and its quite the blessing to hear thanks- and then yknow this part right after handong........................... Heaven™

SPEAKING OF HANDONG LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE AMOUNT OF LINES SHE HAS MAKES ME WANNA CRY OKAY THIS PART RIGHT HERE............................. PLS.............. (i think its just me but theres a smaller voice singing like right under her voice????) HER PRE-CHORUS PARTS ARE LITERALLY THE BEST PARTS IN THE WHOLE SONG TO LISTEN TO pls believe me when i say this its NOT bc shes my ultimate bias like i genuinely like her parts the most

sua pls i was already prepared for softer vocals and you really gave that to me and then this is absolute perfection they were beautiful and amazing OF COURSE got me feeling like i was floating on actually clouds god TAHNK YOU AND THEN YOU JUST HAD TO HIT ME WITH YOUR PART RIGHT HERE???? i understand its just the chorus but I Felt That™ okay!!!!!!

JIU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i stand by saying how your voice be powerful as hell still even during these lines VERY short but VERY effective and very good leading into the chorus i love- and then your bridge....................... B I C T H really put me in my feelings but i welcome it with EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING and with open arms.......................

YOOHYEON AKA THE OTHER QUEEN OF SINGING CHORUSES I MEAN..................................... I LITERALLY DUNNO WHAT TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE THEIR BEAUTIFUL SOUNDING HER VOICE GOES WELL WITH THEM like i really like the parts she sings after siyeon like................. Y O O F if a feather became a voice-

i need more dami too..................... P L E A S E like obviously with their other songs i was expecting dami to be in the second verse and with a smooth rap section and the former was correct HOWEVER to my pleasant surprise SHE SANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her singing voice suited this SO MUCH and im actually glad there wasnt a rap part at all in this song especially that SECOND PART.................. Heaven™ 2x

my favorite lyrics (x): i know i said handongs were my favorite to listen to but i like these lines dont hurt me

난 이 숨결이 허락되는 날까지 As long as I can breathe 다신 너를 놓을 수 없어 I can’t let go of you again 우린 모든 순간 함께 할 테니 We’ll be together for every moment 내 곁에서 beside me

THE DANCE OKAY IM GONNA DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT ill be referring to THIS PERFORMANCE can we pls talk about how loud the fanchant is im crying and really take it in and all of their talented glory ANYWAY OF COURSE the choreography F UKCING SLAPS just so many different position changes and just alwaYS SO IN SYNC WITH EACH OTHER ITS INSANE ill just list them briefly and keep the points short this is long enough:

THE BEGINNING AND THE END BEING THE SAME...................... CERTAINLY DEJA VU-

SIYEONS TUTTING THING THANKS

handongs majestic spin

this and this with how the formation changes and how their arms swing AND the kick

ALSO in those parts in the last bullet i dunno why but i like that move jiu does when she sings IT HITS

i recall sua spoiling literally the first move of the chorus dance in that vlive THE CHORUS DANCE ALL THOSE FORMATION CHANGES LITERALLY MESS ME UP and THIS most important move in the entire choreography and they line up and its SO COOL to look at

when they lie on each other doing yoohyeons lines

handongs part again when theyre in the line and how satisfying it is to watch

THE ENTIRE BRIDGE

LITERALLY THE ENTIRE DANCE FROM START TO FINISH

QUEENS OF STABILITY

sidenote: can we talk about how handong and dami?????? literally spin during their parts????? and they sounded super clear??????

THE VISUALS SO.......................... if you had asked me two days ago (maybe a little bit of yesterday) about how i felt about this video.................. i wouldve mentioned some unpopular opinions regarding the videos look............ i mentioned to gwen @loonapunk that i wasnt TOO into it............ BUT- after finally sitting down to do this long ass post i dont hate it!!!!!!!!!!!! i think bc i have to remind myself that this song (album???? well song-) is for that kings raid game and all the visuals AND story are based off that????? i dunno BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS I LIKE TO WATCH IT

IM TOO BIG STUPID™ TO COMPREHEND THIS STORYLINE AND COME UP WITH MY OWN THEORIES EVEN NOW AND I WOULD L O V E TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU BUT THIS IS LONG ENOUGH AS IT IS SO ILL REDIRECT YOU TO THEORY POSTS (TWO (2) FROM MY GALAXY BRAIN MOOTS) THAT I LIKED:

@highsomnia NITAS POST WHICH I PERSONALLY FOUND ENJOYABLE TO READ SO IF YOU COULD READ THIS YOU SHOULD ALSO READ THAT

@in-somnias ELENAS POST WHICH WAS ALSO AN INTERESTING READ RIGHT HERE

AND THEN THIS ONE THAT WAS ORIGINALLY FROM TWITTER i dont follow her so im not gonna @

AIIGHT IMMA GO CRAZY WITH THESE SHOTS (with only small one/two sentence captions this is LONG ENOUGH):

BICTH I SAW THIS AND KNEW I WAS GONNA GET GOT™ like its just super duper INCREDIBLY PRETTY TO LOOK AT

THIS WILL BE FOREVER ICONIC™ DONT ARGUE WITH ME

this is what the calm before the storm looks like

went back to the mv film making video and turns out they got slippers on under that table love that for them

how in the hell am i supposed to interpret this exchange

okay longer section i think im supposed to interpret this more as a sister bond than a romantic one?????? i remember being taken aback and believed this to be something gay BUT 99.9% OF INSOMNIAS say its gay subtext so ill just put it like that i dunno but like i just wanna say they have beautiful smiles and im love them!!!

a youtuber reacting to this mv saying it just looks like theyre shading each other.................... anyway-

i CANNOT i repeat I CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU how Shook™ i was when i saw this for the first time i basically jumped out of my chair i couldnt i-

this mv really led me to believe jiu was the evil one.............................

POETIC. CINEMA.

THE WOMAN. THE MYTH. THE LEGEND. THE FIREBENDER. THE WOLF. LEE SIYEON. pls light me up

Symbolism™................ SYMBOLISM I CANNOT COMPREHEND GO TO THE THEORIES

MORE SYMBOLISM GO TO THE THEORIES

T H E M

NOT ONLY IS THIS VIDEO SUPER AESTHETIC™ BUT THE SEVEN (7) MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN THE WORLD BLESSING US ONCE AGAIN WITH THEIR PRESENCE AND ALLOWED THEIR ROYALTY VIBES SHOOT INTO THE MESOSPHERE INTO REAL LIFE KILLING ALL OF US

THE DANCING SCENES WITH THE TEASER OUTFITS...................................... AT EASE.....................

LITERALLY NO COMPLAINTS MOVING ON:

JIU

L I S T E N KIM MINJI YOURE A FULL PRINCESS this pink fluffy dress with the flower crown in this picture............................ i may have cried- like a lot of people were trying this look to persephone and im HERE for that concept for her and like the white outfit AND black outfit is probably super symbolic again im too Big Stupid™ anyway when i saw that black outfit in the teaser........................... i was attacked jiu with a sword is just EVERYTHING i wanted and more

SUA

LITERALLY I CANNOT- her hair being wavy looks SO GOOD on her THIS BLACK DRESS WITH THE FLOWERS she is always a Serve™ WE KNOW THAT but her visuals just HIT DIFFERENT this time lighter colored hair really suits her and then of course she looks FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC in the dance scenes in the white and the black that low pony tail pls

SIYEON

purple on this woman just shoulders and collarbones out being Beautiful™ ALL THE WHILE staying ON BRAND with herself and was wearing pants good for her G O D i just love the way her hair looks in the white and gold outfits like it just LOOKS PRETTY to me i dunno how to describe it also her with a pony tail WHAT ARE YOU SO PRETTY FOR-

HANDONG

i just................... want closer shots of this.................. CLOSER SHOTS IN GENERAL OF HER ACTUALLY like LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL™ SHE LOOKS HERE I WANNA SEE MORE OF IT??????? PLS??????? nothing gets me weaker than her hair being styled exactly like in the picture i just love that her royalty and regal vibes and looks were FINALLY realized and WAS BROUGHT TO THE FOREFRONT

YOOHYEON

THIS MV MUST CONVINCE ME SHE IS EVIL BY SHOWING HER FOREHEAD first of all the first outfit turning her into an Actual Entire Princess™/Queen™ that red one i dont really understand SHE MAKES IT WORK THO THEN THAT BLACK OUTFIT LISTEN yo it was like getting hit by a whole truck full speed i wasnt ready and i just wanna admire that yoohyeon and gray colored hair is an actual match made in heaven i just have to say-

DAMI

i love this suit and the patten on it so much this outfits color (what is that teal????) and her hair color is such a GOOD PAIRING and on her SHE JUST KILLED ME WITH HER SOLO SCENES i wish i had more to say about her and her outfits but what else can i say other than that she is INSANELY ATTRACTIVE AND I WANT HER TO STEP ON ME???????

GAHYEON

she really broke my neck when i saw her the first time LIKE DEADASS LOOK AT THIS PICTURE i had fallen for her and i cannot get up when i saw this outfit in the other shots like the black top and the see through sleeves but her skirt is like different colors she really Served™ in this outfit bangs usually look cute but in her solo parts she was coming for my heart like miss lee gahyeon pls-

BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (just short thoughts and point out specific parts i liked lmao)

Intro:

their intros always slap are you kidding me-

The curse of the Spider

i wasnt ready for this bop to slap me in the face on my spotify that chorus didnt have to do that to me THAT GUITAR DIDNT HAVE TO DO THAT TO ME i love the way dami and handong sound in this song i mean wrow-

favorite lyrics (x):

소름이 끼칠 만큼 It’s chilling 도망치고 싶어질 it makes me want to run away 그런 두려움일 테니 such is this fear

Silent Night

B I H C T i knew when i heard this in the highlight it was going to be my favorite one IT REALLY WOKE SOMETHING IN ME these lyrics i cant- gahyeon and handong hurted me with their lower registers Y AL L YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HURTED ME THAT D R O P DID

favorite lyrics (x):

겨눈 칼 끝은 a blade directed at someone 결국 돌아오게 돼 eventually returns 더 다가오지 마 don’t come closer

Polaris

this song is as if i was wrapped in the thickest blanket i got and im resting on the softest bed in the world with a fireplace going nearby and i could finally rest peacefully bc the lord knows i need it- i really cried a little bit listening to this pls leave me be i legit cant pick a specific member i liked the most for this song i just love it and everything it got

favorite lyrics (x):

그게 너라서 행복해 I’m happy that it’s you 그 많은 인연 속에 Among those numerous connections 수많은 사람 중에 Among those numerous people

LIKE im so completely satisfied with every song on this album and im completely in love with it!!!!!!!!!! the only ‘issue’ i really had was with the mv visually but as you read i warmed up to it lmao LIKE IM JUST SO PROUD OF THESE WOMEN AND HOW TALENTED AND HARDWORKING THEY ARE like i have to say the japanese release?????? and this????? being so close to each other????? you telling me they learned TWO (2) different choreographies one after the other???? i absolutely love this album and i desperately desperately DESPERATELY want so much more success for them bc ITS WHAT THEY DESERVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is supposed to be just about the overall mv and deja vu but i might as well just type what i feel lmao

IN CONCLUSION: MY INSOMNIA ASS IS BOTH ALIVE AND DEAD BUT MOSTLY ALIVE I LOVE THIS IM STREAMING

i have to bring this back its relevant again:

#THREE (3) DAYS IN THE MAKING #it took longer bc ive been having the worst stomachaches rn #it probably shows in this post lmao #but anyway Y E A H im love them #LETS GET THIS BREAD #if you read all of this i appreciate you #dreamcatcher #han.txt #han's mv afterthoughts

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ifyoucouldholdme · 5 years ago

Text

Movie Nights with Trashmouth

Chapter 1

Words: 1376

Pairing: Bichie

Rating: Explicit

Read on AO3

Bill couldn’t believe his eyes as Richie led him through the maze of DVDs. The whole scenario was oddly an experience out of time. His friend had dragged him halfway across town to a still running video rental store, probably the last of its kind as far as Derry was concerned. “You gotta see this place!” Richie had crowed, “They’ve got movies you can’t find anywhere else.”

The shelves upon shelves proved him right. Bill wanted to carefully scan through each title, making a mental list of which to rent first. He passed period dramas, sci-fi epics, films from around the globe. “R-Richie, w-wait up. I’d l-like to actually look at s-some of these,” he whined. Richie kept pulling him forward.

“You can see those later, Big Bill,” he chided, “I’ve got something that’ll give you a raging cinema boner. Hell, it’ll probably give you a real boner.”

“C-can you p-p-please stop t-talking about m-my dick?!” Bill sputtered.

“Whatever blows your skirt up, sweetheart. Just be glad you didn’t wear gym shorts today.” He sent a salacious wink, sending such a heart burning through Bill’s gut that he was indeed relieved he wore his rigid jeans instead of his flimsy shorts after all. If only Richie knew that his jokes were a bit too accurate. Bill pined as he watched the goofball’s dangling curls bounce as he skipped through the store. Ok, maybe he was also entranced by the bounce of Richie’s perfectly rounded bubble butt too.

Before they rounded the next corner, he suddenly turned and shoved his hand against Bill’s chest to stop him. “Alright, BIlliam,” he whispered into the now blushing boy’s ear. The warmth of Richie’s bony palm spread through his chest and mixed with the chills from the trashmouth’s breath dancing across his ear sent Bill into a paralyzed stupor. Yes, Richie was a touchy-feely person, but this felt different. This felt intimate and intentional. This awkward, brash, and gangly boy that haunted his nighttime fantasies was now mere inches from his wide-eyed face. Bill instinctively leaned forward, gradually closing the gap between—

“Around this corner is the most beautiful sight you’ll ever see, aside from my precious dimpled smile, of course. Like, for real Bill, you’re gonna cream your jeans. I know I sure as hell did the first time I saw it.”

“B-b-beep, R-r-r-r—” the poor frazzled boy tried, but Richie had already disappeared into the next room. The mere thought of his friend climaxing looped through his head taunting him as Bill tried in vain to cover his now full-blown erection and hobbled through the archway.

His shame was forgotten, however, when he laid eyes on the room before him. Each wall was lined in hundreds of bizarre and terrifying titles and box art. He recognized classics of horror like the Exorcist as well as some just plain weird movies, Meet the Feebles being one he was embarrassed to admit he somewhat enjoyed. Some shelves were alphabetized, others were categorized by director or subgenre. Stylized posters plastered the remaining spaces just beneath the ceiling, their artistry mesmerizing him. Above it all shone a neon marquee that simply read, “Cult Corner.”

“Welcome to paradise, Billy-Boy!” Richie beamed with arms raised in a grand gesture.

“Holy s-s-shit!” Bill proclaimed a bit louder than intended. “They’ve g-got everything.”

“Right?” With that, he eagerly led Bill around the room in his worst tour guide impersonation. “Thank you for choosing Tozier Tours Unlimited. We’re glad to have you aboard this afternoon. If you look out the window to your left, you’ll find the world’s larges collection of the spinetingling, the hair raising, and the grotesquely gory. But please, ladies and gentlemen, keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times. There’s lots more to see.”

Bill chuckled despite himself. As often as he wanted to strangle the brash jokester for taking a laugh one step too far, he no less than adored Richie. Underneath that layer of jovial frivolity was a sweet boy just as lonely and as unsure as he was. If he ever needed a true friend or someone to listen to his uncertainties, Richie always did whatever necessary to help him, albeit with a few chucks thrown in to keep the mood from turning too sour. It also didn’t hurt that Richie’s smile did in fact give him the most adorable dimples.

Thankfully he didn’t notice Bill’s infatuated stares as he continued. “To your right you will see the weird, the bizarre, the flat-out what-the-fuckery of the aisle of cult movies. We got your Rocky Horror, your Pink Flamingoes. You want blood, guts, quips, and tits? There’s a little something here for everyone!” he crooned gradually sounding more and more like a carnival barker.

Bill felt lightheaded, overwhelmed by such a collection to choose from. “I d-don’t even know w-where to start.”

“Well then, monsieur Denbrough,” Richie switched again, this time to what he called his Frenchie Dressing voice, “allow moi to direct vous to la piece du resistance.”

“Alright, M-Marcel, c-chill. You only w-went to Q-Quebec for a w-weekend,” he teased, but the smirk flew off his face wen Richie bent over, sticking his glorious ass in the air as if presenting it for Bill’s approval. Bill absentmindedly reached out a hand, just to ‘accidentally’ brush the enthralling derriere, then, remembering his tightening pants, snapped his hand back to cover himself. Once again, Richie seemed not to notice. He was more concerned with the DVD cases he thrust towards Bill. The shaking redheaded boy blankly gazed at the covers, glad for any distraction from his embarrassing issue. At first, he was confused. The boxes were adorned with several men and women in unusual poses.

“These,” Richie whispered in a curiously huskier tone, his face instantly as close to Bill’s as before, “are for extra special movie nights.” The pieces finally fell together in Bill’s mind.

“This is p-p-p-p—”

“The word you’re looking for is ‘porn’, Big Bill,” Richie winked. Crimson flooded over Bill’s cheeks. This pushed his tension over the edge, and he sputtered and shivered with embarrassment. The frenzy subsided a touch as Richie placed a reassuring grip on his shoulder. “Whoa there, Sister Mary Agnes. I’m putting them back. Nothing to get all antsy about, it’s just some dicks and tits. We’ve all got ‘em.” Bill, slightly calmer, quirked a teasing eyebrow at him. “Well, we’ve all got one or the other.” They gazed at each other for a moment, filled with some unspoken thing felt between them. Then they each burst into a hearty laugh.

“Alright, alright,” Richie gasped, “Go ahead and pick a couple out for a date night. It’s on me.” Bill dropped the cases, letting them clatter against his Converse sneakers. He stared, frozen in place, at Richie who also seemed to notice his choice of words and avoided eye contact himself.

“D-d-d-date n-night?” Bill managed through a clenched throat.

Richie brought a hand to his neck, trying to hide a rosy patch his had sprouted on his cheek. “I mean, yeah, I guess,” he said, voice uncharacteristically wavering. “We totally don’t have to. It’s weird. We can’t just get our own movies. Your taste in horror is more on the classy side anyway, you wouldn’t like any of my—”

Bill socked his arm, leaving a nice red mark which would eventually bruise later that day. “B-beep beep, d-d-dumbass.” He then worked his fingers through Richie’s, noticing the other boy’s nervous sweating palm and his own racing pulse. He swallowed his anxiety and excitement as Richie tightened his grip. “D-date night sounds f-f-fun.”

“Well,” Richie stalled, trying to will away red face. Bill could’ve sworn that his bottle thick glasses began to steam over. “Let’s pick out some flicks then. Say, two apiece?”

“S-sounds like a plan.” Bill smiled, lost in Richie’s warmth and the surprising sweetness of the moment. “R-Rich?”

“Yeah, Big Bill?”

“How d-did you even know I’d b-b-be—”

“Well, you’ve been staring at my ass like it’s a buffet, plus I’ve been able to see your hardon since we walked in, so I figured I had at least a fifty-fifty shot.” Bill punched Richie even harder a second time. Trashmouth just cackled in return.

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zainbap · 5 years ago

Text

like autumn leaves, we fall

BangDae college/university AU • masterpost • AO3

words: 4515 warnings: FLUFF

part six

Studying together isn't the same after that.

They meet up a few times the following week, in between classes at the campus library, or in the afternoons at the coffee shop. They sit across from another, just like always, with eyes meeting every so often, faint smiles being exchanged and hands brushing when reaching for something on the table. It's the same as it's been for months, only it isn't.

Daehyun knows something's changed between them, but it's impossible to pinpoint what exactly. He sees the same thing in Yongguk's eyes as he has for weeks; hears the same fondness in Yongguk's voice when they talk. Nothing's changed, other than perhaps Daehyun's confidence in that it's not just him. It's not all in his head. Something is developing between them, something intense and soft and real, and they both know it.

They're not just friends, anymore. If they ever were.

Sungwon keeps his promise and pays for their coffees the first time he serves them. Yongguk doesn't push to know why, but Daehyun has a feeling he probably suspects what it's about, anyway. They don't talk about what happened last weekend, other than Yongguk assuring him that he's better and that he's got everything under control again. Daehyun makes a habit of dropping the question how he slept every morning they meet up, hoping it's casual enough. And while he has no doubt Yongguk knows what he's really asking, he doesn't seem to mind. If anything, he almost seems moved.

"Are you going home for Christmas?" Yongguk asks on Friday.

They're walking through one of the central parks, bags slung over their shoulders. Fall is coming to an end, the chilly bite in the air getting stronger every day. Leaves are everywhere, heaps of color scattered around the world. The fountain that'd still been running when Daehyun first moved here is empty now, looking like a big, ugly bowl of concrete surrounded by withering blower beds.

Yongguk is wearing his usual beanie, the collar of his coat pulled up close to his chin. Daehyun's got both hands in the pockets of his jacket, despite wearing gloves.

"I guess so," Daehyun replies with a small shrug. Christmas break is still several weeks away, but he's been curious to ask Yongguk the same thing. "Are you?"

"Not exactly," Yongguk hums, smiling faintly. "Tasha lives really close, so mom and Nam usually come down here over the holidays. Nam usually stays with me for a new nights."

At this point, Daehyun has heard quite a bit about Yongguk's siblings, but it's still mind blowing to think Yongguk's got a twin brother. His older sister, Natasha, sounds really cool and only a little scary. Yongguk keeps saying he and Yongnam are complete opposites in everything but looks, and Daehyun wonders what that even means. He can't imagine someone wearing Yongguk's face while acting nothing like him.

"You should meet them," Yongguk says then.

Daehyun looks over to meet his eyes, warmth spreading from the center of his chest at the soft smile resting on Yongguk's lips. Yongguk's arms are slack at his sides, his right hand brushing up against Daehyun's jacket as they walk. Daehyun's fingers jerk inside his left-handed pocket.

He wonders how much Yongguk's family knows about him, what Yongguk may have told them.

"Okay," Daehyun says.

The tips of Yongguk's ears are poking out from under the beanie, and they look slightly pink as he ducks his head down with a smile.

"Okay."

Saturday evening Daehyun arrives to the library with several minutes to spare before Yongguk's shift ends. He'd been unsure how much he should dress up, finally settling for a pair of jeans and one of his newer sweaters. Comfortable, but put together. He'd taken the bus, not wanting the humidity to ruin his hair on the bike. Still, he can't help but run his fingers through it as he steps through the door of the building, unzipping his jacket.

He's not prepared to find Yongguk sitting behind the desk in a goddamn blazer. For a split second Daehyun considers turning around and running back home to change, but Yongguk has already seen him. He smiles, standing from his chair.

"I wasn't— I didn't know what to wear," Daehyun mumbles in way of greeting, awkwardly gesturing to his casual clothing peeking out from under the jacket.

Yongguk chuckles, eyes soft, and Daehyun instantly feels all tension leave his shoulders.

"No, it's— You look nice."

"You too," Daehyun exhales.

First then does he notice the three people sitting by a table nearby, hunched over their notebooks, pens at the ready, but with their wide eyes on the two of them. They look both nervous and expectant, somehow. Daehyun feels his face heat up.

"I'll just… go wait over here," Daehyun mumbles, gesturing with a thumb over his shoulder as he awkwardly backs away from the desk.

Yongguk, who doesn't look nearly as embarrassed as Daehyun feels, despite the flush coloring his cheeks, smiles sheepishly and nods. Daehyun flees into the forest of bookshelves, grabbing a random book and uselessly convinces himself he's keeping himself busy as he sits down in a corner to read it.

He stays there until closing time, listening to the three students packing up and walking out. When it's all quiet, he re-emerges from the depths again to find Yongguk just stepping out from behind the desk. He grins when he spots Daehyun, and he's so beautiful Daehyun's chest hurts.

"You ready?" He asks, trying to sound nonchalant enough.

"Yeah," Yongguk smiles. "Come on."

The cinema isn't far, and the air isn't as humid as yesterday, but Daehyun still feels self-conscious of what his hair might look like by the time they arrive. The movie has already been showing for nearly two weeks, so the salon is far from crowded. He and Yongguk get a row all to themselves, which Daehyun can't decide if it makes him more anxious or excited.

Sungwon was right — Yongguk clearly enjoys the movie. Daehyun likes it too, though he keeps being distracted by the amused and fascinated noises Yongguk makes. And he spends more time than he'd like to admit wondering if Yongguk's hand on the armrest between them means something. He thinks about reaching over and touch his knuckles a dozen times, but never gathers up enough courage to actually do it.

By the time the movie ends, the lights coming back on, Yongguk has moved his hand back into his own lap, and Daehyun can't help but feel like he missed an invitation that's now expired. The two of them stay close as they walk out the doors with the other movie-goers, moving in a herd before all dispersing outside.

There's something heavy and electric hanging in the air as they come to a stop around the corner. Daehyun's heart is beating too fast. Yongguk nudges him with his foot.

"I'll walk you home," he whispers.

They talk about the movie as they walk, Yongguk sharing his thoughts about a deeper meaning, about how much he appreciated a certain shot, a certain line. Daehyun gladly listens, not realizing he's smiling until his face starts to hurt. He playfully teases Yongguk about his enthusiasm, making Yongguk's shy laugh echo down a dark street.

Daehyun's heart jolts every time their hands brush against one another as they walk side by side. It'd be so easy, to catch Yongguk's hand and slide his fingers between Yongguk's knuckles. He wonders if Yongguk would mind, if he'd care if someone saw him holding hands with a guy. Daehyun wonders if he would.

It starts to drizzle just as they reach the building, and they quickly duck under the small roofing above the door, chuckling quietly as Daehyun digs for his keys. Daehyun waits for Yongguk to say something, to acknowledge the fact that they've reached their destination and that he should probably head home. But Yongguk doesn't say anything, and so Daehyun doesn't either. They both just watch Daehyun's hand unlock the door in silence before stepping inside.

The hallway on the second floor is unnaturally dark and quiet, most of Daehyun's dorm mates away at another party across campus. Daehyun feels both excited and nervous as he leads Yongguk to his door, only vaguely remembering doing this once before.

"I didn't clean," he says as they step inside, embarrassed.

"It's fine," Yongguk assures him.

No lights are on, the room lit up only by the moonlight coming through the window. His floor is a mess, as is his desk, and Daehyun anxiously runs his fingers through his bangs. He watches Yongguk slip out of his jacket and step further into the room. He adjusts his glasses, eyes sweeping over the room and lingering on the bookshelf. He's taken his hat off, and his hair is a wild, dark mess.

"Not gonna lie," Yongguk hums, tipping his head back to give Daehyun a wry smile. "I expected a bigger collection from an English major."

Daehyun huffs, running another hand through his hair.

"I didn't bring all my books from back home," he explains, moving to stand next to Yongguk, eyeing the shelves as well. It's next to impossible to read any of the titles in this light. "Didn't think it was worth it. Not while living in a dorm room. Figured I should wait till I found an actual apartment before moving my entire library."

Yongguk hums, amused, turning back to look at the books again.

"You're looking for apartments, then?" He asks.

Daehyun shrugs with one shoulder.

"I mean, I never planned on living out all my college days in a dorm. But. You know. Money."

Yongguk hums, again, in understanding.

He moves away from the bookcase, and Daehyun just awkwardly watches Yongguk look around his messy dorm room. He wonders if this is how Yongguk felt when he first invited Daehyun to his apartment; if he feels the same kind of intimacy Daehyun did to be in someone's space like this. He wonders if this room smells of him, and if it's a smell Yongguk doesn't mind.

Ironically, that's when Yongguk spots his own hoodie hanging off Daehyun's bedpost. Daehyun feels his face go hot, struggling to come up with what to say as Yongguk goes to pick it up.

"I was, uh— I'm sorry. I… forgot to return it."

He knows it's blatantly obvious that he didn't just forget to return it, that he's clearly used it again after borrowing it that one night. That's so embarrassing, and possibly creepy, and Daehyun kind of wishes the ground would open up and swallow him.

But Yongguk just chuckles, turning back around to smile at him. He looks so soft just then — standing next to Daehyun's bed in the small dorm room with his hair all tousled, the blue light from outside caressing one side of his face.

"It's okay," Yongguk murmurs, still smiling gently. "I don't mind… you having it."

It's hard to tell, but Daehyun is pretty sure he's not imagining the blush coloring Yongguk's cheeks. It helps, knowing he's not the only one who's nervous about what's happening.

Despite having had a crush on Yongguk pretty much from the moment Daehyun first met him, he's never really let himself think about it too much. He's never let himself daydream about what it would be like, if they finally crossed that line — the one he knows they've been balancing on for quite some time now. He's never allowed himself to imagine what it'd be like to actually be with Yongguk; to be allowed to hold his hand, to reach out and adjust his glasses for him, to steal his clothes.

But he lets himself think about it now. Lets himself feel it. And Daehyun's heart clenches. With how much he wants it. And it's terrifying, realizing the loaded silence stretching between them means there is no going back after this. It's already too late. They'll never just be what they used to be, after this. It can only be more, or less.

Yongguk visibly swallows, dropping the hoodie back onto Daehyun's bed. Daehyun's breath hitches as Yongguk moves closer, his own breathing suddenly feeling incredibly loud in the room. Yongguk stops just a couple inches away, close enough for Daehyun to feel the heat of his breath on his face. He can feel the hesitation in Yongguk's breath when he opens his mouth.

"It's not just in my head, right?" Yongguk asks, and his voice is barely more than a whisper. He licks his lips, pupils dilated. "That you and I are..?"

And Daehyun wants to laugh, because he's so relieved and happy, but also because that's such a ridiculous question.

But he doesn't laugh, and he doesn't answer. He just takes one step forward, closing the final distance between them, and captures Yongguk's mouth with his own.

It's just a brush of lips at first, eager but tentative. Yongguk's lips are still cold from the outside, the smell of autumn air filling his nose as Daehyun breathes in. Then Yongguk sighs into the kiss, sending a hot shiver down Daehyun's spine, and gently cups Daehyun's face with both hands. Yongguk's fingers are cold against his warm cheeks, and Daehyun's breath hitches. His heart is pounding hard against his ribs, and he completely forgets he's supposed to breathe through his nose, which leaves him out of breath in seconds.

He breaks away, just enough for their lips to disconnect, panting into the small space of air between them. Yongguk laughs softly, that wheezy sound Daehyun loves so much. And Daehyun grins, even though he's embarrassed, because he feels fucking giddy. Their noses are still touching, bumping against one another while Daehyun catches his breath. Yongguk's hands are still cupping his face, his thumb swiping over one of his cheekbones.

"God," he mumbles, still grinning. The sound of his deep voice makes heat pool in Daehyun's belly. "Fuck, you're—"

Daehyun is leaning back in before discovering just what he is, interrupting Yongguk with another kiss. His hands instinctively land on Yongguk's hips, pulling himself even closer. Yongguk groans against his mouth, sending another shudder through Daehyun. One of his hands move from Daehyun's face to cup the back of his neck instead, lips parting as the heat builds between them.

The sturdy frames of Yongguk's glasses push into his brows for the first time, making him smile into the kiss, and he can feel Yongguk smile back. His heart is still beating too fast, but he's breathing quickly through his nose this time, and the sound of their joined, harsh breathing is making something stir deep in his gut.

When they break apart the second time, they're both panting. Daehyun's lips feel funny, and he can't stop smiling. Yongguk is smiling too, leaning forward to rest his forehead against Daehyun with a soft hum. They catch their breaths, slowly calming down.

"Wanna sit down?" Yongguk asks after a moment, voice quiet.

His hand is still resting on the back of Daehyun's neck, and the way his thumb moves ever so slightly against his sensitive skin makes Daehyun shiver.

"Yeah," he breathes out, swiping his tongue over his kiss-bruised lips.

Yongguk smiles shyly, and they take their hands off each other somewhat awkwardly before moving to the bed. Daehyun sits on the edge at first, immediately fumbling with his hands in his lap. But Yongguk scoots back to rest his back against the wall, so Daehyun follows his example.

Daehyun expects it to get horribly awkward as soon as they're just sitting there, next to each other, but Yongguk just smiles softly and reaches for his hand. He slides his palm over Daehyun's wrist, locking their fingers together and letting their hands rest on top of the covers between them. Daehyun doesn't realize he's smiling until Yongguk chuckles, ducking his head down when Daehyun seeks his gaze.

God, they're really just two big, shy idiots, aren't they?

"One could think we've never held hands with someone before," Daehyun mutters, still smiling as he keeps his eyes on their hands.

Yongguk scoffs, tilting his head back against the wall. He swallows, Daehyun seeing his Adam's apple bob in the corner of his eye.

"Well," Yongguk says, voice a little hesitant. "Not… a lot."

Daehyun looks up then, arching an eyebrow at him curiously. Yongguk meets his eyes steadily, and it's unclear if he's embarrassed about the admission or not.

"Are you—" Daehyun cuts himself off, heart skipping a beat. Because asking will make everything so much more real. He starts over. "Are you…out?"

He doesn't even know what Yongguk would be out as, and Daehyun doesn't care what label Yongguk chooses to identify with, but their relations to the closet are going to affect whatever happens next.

Perhaps it's a too big of a question right off the bat, and Daehyun almost wishes he could take it back as soon as it's out of his mouth. But Yongguk just smiles faintly, and nods. Daehyun thinks he shouldn't be surprised, considering how Sungwon had casually assumed the two of them were already dating way back, but somehow he is.

Yongguk must notice whatever flickers across Daehyun's face just then — doubt, maybe — because his smile morphs into a genuine look of concern.

"I'm not— I don't plan on hiding, if that's what you were worried about," he murmurs, gently squeezing Daehyun's fingers. It's such a sweet gesture, and it makes Daehyun's heart swell. He doesn't know what to say, how to express how good it feels to hear Yongguk say that.

Yongguk opens his mouth again, then hesitates for a bit.

"Are… you out?"

Daehyun parts his lips, about to say yes, but the silence stretches on for a moment longer.

"I guess?" He says, making it sound like a question. When Yongguk looks confused, Daehyun sighs and offers him a faint smile. "I mean— I am back home. But. You never really stop coming out, do you? You don't get to do it just once, and then never have to do it again. If you're famous, maybe. But otherwise, no new person is gonna know when you first meet them. You constantly have to come out, over and over again."

Yongguk makes a thoughtful nose, nodding.

"That's true," he murmurs. He adjusts his grip on Daehyun's hand, turning his body slightly to face him more. "Do you… wanna keep this on the low, then?"

Daehyun blinks, taken aback. And the way Yongguk says it — sad, but so understanding, accepting — makes his heart ache.

"No," he whispers, watching Yongguk's eyes light up again. "That's not— That'd be awful, wouldn't it? For you. You shouldn't… go back into the closet, for me. For anyone."

"I'm not gonna force you to come out, though," Yongguk reasons, still so understanding. "Not if you don't feel comfortable with it. I wouldn't mind, keeping this between us. If that's what you want."

"That's not what I want," Daehyun says, shaking his head.

Yongguk meets his eyes, and Daehyun's chest burns at how hopeful he looks. He pushes himself off the wall and turns to face Yongguk, crossing his legs. Their joined hands come to rest on top of his knee, and Daehyun can feel the butterflies swirl inside his belly. Everything feels so intimate, down to the very air they breathe.

"I— I wanna be with you," Daehyun murmurs, gaze dropped to where he starts to play with Yongguk's fingers. Yongguk lets him, relaxing his hand. "I've wanted it for a long time. I just… never thought it'd actually happen," he admits, blushing. "And I— I haven't come out to any of my classmates yet."

Yongguk hums, nodding. He waits, perhaps for Daehyun to look at him, before turning to sit in front of Daehyun on the bed, mirroring him. Their knees touch, and Yongguk gently moves their hands to rest on top of their crossed ankles.

"If you don't want us to openly do anything—"

"I do," Daehyun assures him, face hot. Yongguk looks surprised, but he visibly relaxes. "I'm— I'm sorry if I come across as really unsure. I am, I guess. In a way. But I—" He sighs, jaw setting. "I don't wanna have to come out to every single person. I just wanna live my life, do what I wanna do, and have people not make a big deal out of it."

Yongguk makes a soft, agreeing noise. He squeezes Daehyun's fingers. Daehyun smiles. Yongguk waits for him to say something else, but Daehyun can't think of anything else to say.

"All my friends think we've already been dating for weeks," Yongguk says after a while.

Daehyun huffs, smiling.

"I know," he admits, glancing up to find Yongguk watching him with both amusement and confusion. He smiles sheepishly. "Sungwon… told me. Kind of."

Yongguk chuckles, shaking his head.

"Of course he did."

Daehyun grins, ducking his head back down to watch at his own hand fumble with Yongguk's when the eye-contact gets too intense. Yongguk is looking at him so fondly, Daehyun doesn't know what to do with himself.

Silence reigns for a while, but it's a comfortable one.

"I haven't been with a lot of people," Yongguk says eventually, voice quiet. Daehyun looks up, but this time Yongguk's the one to keep his eyes lowered. "So this is— I want you to know, that this isn't just… whatever, to me."

Daehyun swallows, heart swelling, and he can't help but smile.

"I know," he says, meaning it. He knows Yongguk isn't as outgoing as he first seemed. He knows Yongguk wouldn't bring just anyone to study with him most days of the week. He knows Yongguk only went to that party because of him. He hadn't known all that at the time, but he does now. "Me, too."

Yongguk lifts his head then, giving him a soft smile. His glasses have slid down on his nose a bit. He reaches out with his free hand, carding his fingers through Daehyun's hair the same way Daehyun has been doing all night. Daehyun can't help the way his eyes flutter closed at the tender touch, arching into it.

"I really care about you," Yongguk murmurs, letting his hand drop to touch Daehyun's cheek again.

Daehyun smiles, making Yongguk's thumb brush over the corner of his mouth. Somehow it feels more powerful than anything else Yongguk could've said. More powerful than 'I like you', 'I wanna date you', or 'I've been crushing on you for an embarrassing amount of months'. He knows Yongguk has cared for him since they first met, but now it's a far cry from that initial sympathy for a troubled stranger.

"I care about you, too," Daehyun says, reaching up to carefully push Yongguk's glasses further up his nose. "Like, a lot."

Yongguk grins, crowfeet appearing around his eyes, and Daehyun feels overwhelmed by the affection bursting inside him at the sight. He grins back, feeling so happy and ridiculous. He can't remember feeling this at ease ever since he left home. There's no one else here he feels so comfortable with.

"Come here," Yongguk whispers, still smiling as he pulls Daehyun into another kiss.

Daehyun huffs against Yongguk's mouth, eyes falling shut as he presses back against Yongguk's lips. It's gentle this time, neither of them wired as tight. Daehyun sighs into it, arching his back a little to lean forward. One of his hands lands on Yongguk's leg, and though he hadn't meant anything by it, he can't stop his face from heating up. Yongguk makes a soft noise low in his throat, the vibration of it traveling between them. His hand abandons Daehyun's face, reaching back to run his fingers through Daehyun's hair before settling on the back of his head. Holding him close.

They kiss for a long time, getting familiar with each other. More than once they end up just smiling against one another, having to take breaks where they just chuckle into each other's faces before locking lips again. Daehyun's nose keeps bumping into Yongguk's glasses, but he doesn't mind.

It's the sound of a door slamming shut down the hall that breaks them up, both of them going still. Daehyun swallows, looking towards the door even though there's no reason to. His door is locked, but even if it wasn't, his dorm mates have never just barged into his room without knocking. He has no reason to worry at all.

He looks back to Yongguk. They're still sitting as close as they possibly can, their hands still touching in their laps. A bashful smile rests on Yongguk's kiss-bruised lips.

"Maybe I should go," he offers.

Daehyun licks his lips.

"Or you could stay," he says.

Yongguk pauses, the two of them staring at each other for a moment. But then Yongguk's shoulders sag, and he shakes his head.

"I shouldn't," he murmurs, even as his fingers slide against Daehyun's hand. "I don't… have my pills."

"Oh," Daehyun says, instantly feeling stupid for even suggesting it. "Right."

Yongguk grins, ducking his head down.

"Maybe I should start carrying them with me sometimes," he mumbles.

Daehyun's pulse jumps.

"Yeah," he agrees casually, knowing he must be blushing like crazy. "Maybe."

Yongguk chuckles, nodding. He squeezes Daehyun's fingers one more time before letting go of his hand, uncrossing his legs and makes to stand. Daehyun follows.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Yongguk asks a little later, when he's standing by the door with his shoes and jacket back on.

Daehyun is standing with his hands in his pockets, just sort of hovering behind him. He doesn't want Yongguk to leave, hands already itching to reach out and touch him again. He nods, struggling to imagine what studying together is going to be like after tonight. Impossible, probably.

"Yeah," he exhales, smiling. "Sure."

Yongguk huffs, pausing where he'd just been about to reach for the door, and instead moves in to place a quick kiss in the corner of Daehyun's mouth. Daehyun laughs, wanting to return it but Yongguk has already moved away. It feels like his whole body is buzzing, the butterflies in his belly going mad.

"Goodnight," Yongguk tells him warmly, looking over his shoulder as he opens the door.

"Goodnight," Daehyun echoes, trailing behind him to lock the door after he leaves.

The hallway outside is empty, but Daehyun still feels his heart beating faster at the mere possibility of someone opening their door to see a boy coming out of his room. It wouldn't even be suspicious, and Daehyun isn't sure why he's so nervous about it. He doesn't want to be nervous.

Whether Yongguk senses this or not, he doesn't try to kiss him again. He just smiles, waving briefly before heading down the hall towards the stairs. Daehyun looks after him for a few seconds before retreating back into his room, locking the door again.

He flops down on the bed, burying his face in the closest pillow.

"Oh my god," he groans, smiling like a goddamn idiot.

#bangdae #b.a.p #bang yongguk #jung daehyun #my writing

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she-is-tim · 6 years ago

Text

Neighbours AU part 6 Self control

Lucas is a young, exhausted musician who just tries to relax, while Eliott is the overexcited, dubstep loving artist who lives next door.

Aka Lucas confronts his annoying neighbour who turns out to be gorgeous

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Saturday 17:46

Eliott was resting on the couch, smoking cigarette, not weed this time, since just accross him were sitting Lucille in the armchair. She came to check on him since he didn’t texted her after the party at all. Eliott was feeling better than ever in his life, he was dating with Lucas since a few days only, but it was just so perfect. They spent Thrusday night and Friday morning together, but then his sweet pianist had to work, so they separated.

Now Lucas was at a concert, he was preparing for it all morning, playing soft melodies while Eliott sat on the couch in Lucas’ apartment, doodling in his sketchbook. It was such a perfect moment, Eliott wanted to stay like that forever.

Now he was in his own apartment, far away from his lovely partner. Of course Lucas invited him, but he told him that he has a new project coming up, so he needs to work on that today to have more free time on sunday. It was a lie, obviously. He couldn’t go to crowded places like cinema, theatres, concerts, other events. It made his anxiety worse.

“What’s up with you? You look like a kid that lost his favorite toy.” Lucille said, slowly taking a sip of her beer. She looked pretty like always, wearing a white shirt with black flowers on it, tight, dark jeans, her hair was curly and shiny, her nails painted light pink.

“Nothing.” Eliott mumbled, blowing out a big cloud of smoke. “I’m okay.”

“Eliott, I know you more than anyone. I can tell when something is bothering you.” she said seriously and put the bottle on the coffee table between them, crossing her legs and arms. Eliott sighed, putting his cigarette in the ashtray, sitting up.

“I’m dating someone. Are you happy now?” he said annoyed, he hated how Lucille was acting around him, but he really needed this sometimes. A caring friend making sure that Eliott is not suffering alone.

“Someone... Please tell me it’s not the guy from next door.” she said on a worrying tone, making a weird face when Eliott frowned. “For god’s sake, Eliott. Don’t you remember what happened last time you liked a guy?” her tone was a bit angry now, which made the boy angry too, he sat up, staring into his friend’s face.

“I am not your boyfriend, nor your child, Lucille.” he said seriously, his eyes were shooting sparks. “This is MY fucking life, If I wanna mess it up again, then so be it.” he said a bit louder than he wanted, but he had to make sure Lucille gets the message.

“Yeah, sure.” she said on an arrogant voice. “I’m pretty positive that he knows about your illness, your insecurities. I bet he knows well how to handle you on the bad days.” her words were like venom, crawling under Eliott’s skin, poisoning his blood. He didn’t say anything, just lit another cigarette, inhaling the hot smoke, then letting it out, closing his eyes in the process.

“I’ll tell him, I just need time.” he said it after long minutes of silence. Lucille rolled her eyes, grabbing the beer again to drink. “What would you expect me to do?” he asked angrily. “Start the first meeting with ‘Hey, I’m Eliott, I am an illustrator, I like dubstep and oh, sometimes I have so bad anxiety attacks that I end up in hospital’?” his voice was harsh both because of his anger and the cigarette he was smoking.

“Maybe that would be the best.” she mumbled.

“No, Lucille. I don’t want anyone to see me as a sick person and pity me for that shit! I want Lucas to like me because of me. To see the person behind the illness.” he explained, tears forming in his eyes now. He hated to be like this, having such bad anxiety, mixed with some panic attacks. He wanted to be normal, or at least just feel normal. He couldn’t have that with Lucille, that’s why they broke up, but maybe it can work with Lucas.

“I’m sorry.” Lucille said softly, putting down the empty beer bottle, grabbing Eliott’s hand softly. “I’m sure he will like you a lot. I mean you are annoying as hell, but if he stayed after hearing that terrible music you listen to every day, I’m sure nothing will scare him away.” she said softly, kissing Eliott’s cheek. The boy smiled softly, leaning his head on Lucille’s shoulder. He couldn’t wish for a better friend.

Sunday 10:34

Lucas had to crawl out of his warm bed, making sure he gets ready before his beautiful partner comes over. They were planning to have lunch together, Lucas insisted on cooking himself before Eliott could offer the same. He never ever wanted to eat anything that was made by him. He might have been a real angel, a talented artist, but he was a terrible cook.

He grabbed his phone to check on messages before going to the bathroom. He had to take a shower, brush his teeth, style his hair a little. He wanted to look perfect, since his date was basically a demigod. He only got a few messages, mostly from the boys, congratulating to the successful concert last night. They weren’t big fans of classical music, but they were there on every concert of Lucas if they could.

From Yann: So, how are things going with you and Eliott? You gonna introduce him to us? It’s time to wake up, Lulu.

He laughed at the stupid messages from his best friend, but he had to check the other messages too, before answering. He got a message from a member of the orchestra, he ignored that, but he jumped a little when he saw the message from his mother. She rarely texted him, due to her mental state. She was taken care by a professional, but it always made Lucas feel guilty that he couldn’t take care of her on his own. She was really problematic, her delusions and breakdowns made Lucas’ teenage life harder than it should be. Now he just tried to live his life, forgetting the problem of his family.

From Mom: In my dreams I saw a creature with horns, taking you into the depths. Never follow the path of the darkness, light can’t wander off, or it will be lost forever.

Lucas sighed, he didn’t reply to that one, his mom often sent him nonsense messages like this, especially when he was younger and she didn’t get proper medications. He shook his head, focusing himself on reading the last message he got while sleeping. It was from Eliott, he sent it at 3:45. Lucas rolled his eyes, knowing that his partner were not much of a sleeper during night time.

From Eliott: I’m looking forward to our date today. Should I bring some alcohol? Maybe a joint?

Lucas couldn’t help but smile like an idiot, seeing Eliott’s silly and basically useless messages. They made no sense, but they showed to Lucas how much Eliott was excited and eager to meet up. It was less than 24 hours since they last met, but it felt like a lifetime to both of them.

To Eliott: You could bring some champagne, no smoking today. I wanna enjoy this date without getting high

From Eliott: You woke up? Good morning!

Lucas chuckled and put down his phone now. Eliott was such a dork sometimes, but he loved that. He walked to the bathroom, taking a shower, brushing his teeth, fixing his hair. He was almost done, when he heard music, coming from the living room. He dressed up, walked there, but it was actually coming from the other side of the wall. Eliott was listening to Skrillex, at 10:50. Lucas laughed and walked to the kitchen, preparing to cook. He kinda liked this silly music now, it was fast, weird and chaotic, just like Eliott.

He was making food to whatever music Eliott was listening to. It felt like the wall between their apartments was gone and they just stood there, in front of each other, dancing to the music like they are carefree teenagers again. Lucas had such a wide smirk on his face, it was hurting, but he couldn’t stop himself. This was the very first time he felt so free and happy, all thanks to this goofball next door.

He finished cooking a little after 12:17. He tried to make a healthy, but tasy meal. Unlike Eliott, he was trying not to poison his crush. He put the steamed vegetables in a bowl, the roasted chicken on a plate, the well-cooked rice was already on the table, looking delicious. He put two plates and cutlery, making sure it looked perfect like in those cooking shows. He also put wine glasses next to the plates, fighting back the urge to look for a fancy candle. That would be too much and also would make no sense, since it’s the middle of the day.

He looked at the table victoriously, enjoying the perfection of his hard work, before looking for his phone to text Eliott. He asked him before if he had any type of food allergies, so at least he didn’t had to worry about that part when cooking.

To Eliott: You can come in 5 minutes, door is open

Lucas smiled and put his phone on the kitchen counter, making sure it’s on mute. He didn’t wanted to be interrupted by his friends this time. He walked to his bedroom, changing his casual clothes to a bit more fancy ones. He put on tight, navy blue jeans and a white t-shirt. He was holding a black suit for a few minutes, thinking if he should put it on or not, but he rejected the idea. They were home, he didn’t had to look so fancy.

He was so distracted by dressing up that he was still fixing his stupid shirt when the front door opened. His heart was racing as he basically ran out of the bedroom to the living room, facing with the most beautiful person on this earth. His hair seemed to be shorter, maybe he cut it himself, but it still looked perfectly chaotic. He was wearing grey jeans like always, a blue t-shirt with a raccoon on it and an opened denim shirt on top, just to make himself look like a full 3 course meal. Lucas stopped breathing for a second when Eliott smiled at him.

“You look beautiful.” he said with a soft smile. Lucas just noticed the champagne bottle in his hand as he raised it. “I got us some drink.” he said proudly.

“Yeah, cool.” Lucas mumbled, licking his lips, still staring at Eliott.

“You like what you see?” he asked with a triumphant smile. He obviously enjoyed how speechless Lucas was. The boy tried to collect his tought and imaginary slapped his face a few times for making himself look like a complete idiot in front of Eliott.

“Anyways, let’s go to the kitchen.” he said, ignoring Eliott’s question and grabbed his arm gently, leading him to the kitchen where the food was waiting for them.

Eliott smiled brightly when he saw all the deliciousness Lucas made just for them. It made him extremely happy that someone cared for him this much. He obviously had dinner dates before, but no one’s ever done anything like this for him. He smiled at Lucas and without hesitation, planted a soft kiss on his lips.

“You are incredible.” he whispered as he pulled back from the kiss.

“I wanted to impress you.” Lucas mumbled, his cheeks turning a bit red because of the flattering words.

“Mission complete.” Eliott smirked. “I’m gonna open this.” he said, still holding into the champagne bottle, looking for a bottle opener in the drawers.

Lucas couldn’t believe how confidently Eliott was moving around in his apartment, like he was living here too. He liked to see him look around, then happily opening the bottle with a loud popping sound. He smirked at Lucas, walking to the table to pour champagne in the glasses.

“You know, I should be the one serving you, not the other way around.” Lucas said with a soft smile, he didn’t mean to complain, he actually enjoyed Eliott’s enthusiasm.

“I can’t just sit around and watch you do everything. You worked so hard to make this amazing food for me. I gotta thank you somehow.” he said seriously, putting down the bottle in the middle of the table.

“I think that kiss was more than enough for me.” he said smiling, walking to Eliott and stroking his face. “I never had the chance to do this for anyone actually. I’m happy that you like it.”

Eliott looked into his eyes, all kinds of emotion running through his body at the same time. He cupped Lucas’ face gently, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs, taking in all the beauty this boy had. He wanted to enjoy this moments, every single moment he got to spend with Lucas before all goes to shit, because it happens every single time. It’s just the way it is. He wasn’t normal, he was ill, problematic, not worth the effort. But right now in this blessed moment he could be normal, he could be a man in love without being afraid of what happens the next moment.

He leant down, pressing his lips on Lucas’, starting a gentle kiss, still holding his face in his hands. Lucas slowly wrapped his arms around Eliott’s waist, pulling him closer, opening his mouth to let that curious tongue inside. Then all went wild, in the next moment, Lucas was sitting on the kitchen counter, with opened legs, Eliott standing inbetween them, kissing him deeply, while his hands were in Lucas’ hair. He had no idea when his partner put him up there, but he couldn’t care less. His fingers slowly slipped under Eliott’s shirt, touching his abs. His skin was warm and soft, his hand wandered upper, stroking Eliott’s chest now.

The taller boy had to break the kiss to take a breath before going in for another wild, wet kiss. Their tongue were dancing uncontrollably in their joint mouth. Eliott were holding onto Lucas’ waist now, slowly pulling up his shirt to reveal his beautiful body. He couldn’t get enough of it, the nerves on his fingertips were screaming for more.

After long minutes of making out in the kitchen, Lucas pulled back, leaning his head on the cupboard behind him, wheezing like he just ran a marathon. His heart was threatening to burst out of his chest, his hair was a mess, his cheeks were bright red, just like his swollen lips. He looked at Eliott, who basically were the same, though, his hair was always that messy. He looked even more hot with those red, wet lips.

“Fuck...” Lucas mumbled, placing a hand on his chest, like it could calm his fast heartbeats. “I wasn’t expecting this to be honest.” he said which made Eliott to laugh. He loved to see him smile and laugh, he looked genuinely happy.

“Honestly, I was surprised we got to the kitchen. I was actually planning to do this on the couch.” he said smirking, playing with Lucas’ already messy hair, while he was drawing circles on Lucas’ stomach with the other hand.

“You really have no self controll, huh?”

“Around you? Not anymore.” he said smirking, placing a kiss on Lucas’ neck now. “I was holding myself back when you first came to my apartment. It was the hardest thing i’ve ever done in my life.” he whispered as he kept kissing his neck. Lucas shivered and grabbed Eliott’s shirt, letting out a little moan.

“Eliott...”

“You were there... on my couch... defenceless, looking so fucking gorgeous. I needed some serious control to not jump on you, making you mine right then and there.” he kept whispering on such an erotic tone that made Lucas shiver. He had goosebumps all over his body, his nerves were screaming for more. He wanted Eliott so badly.

“I would have nothing against that...” he mumbled in response to Eliott’s seducing speech. The other one smirked, biting a mark on his neck happily, while his hands were sliding up and down on Lucas’ body under his shirt.

“I don’t wanna sounds rude, but right now I found you much more delicious than the food on that table.” he said, licking the skin on Lucas’ neck. The boy gasped, holding Eliott’s arm stronger and crossing his ankles behind Eliott to keep him close. There was no escape, not this time.

“Enjoy your meal then.” that was all he could say, but it seemed to fire up Eliott. He pulled back just to take off Lucas’ shirt, throwing it away. His lips attacked the bare skin without warning, making Lucas moan uncontrollably. He never had such pleasure in his life before, like Eliott knew exactly where to touch and kiss him to make his body a hot, screaming mess.

He slid his fingers into Eliott’s fluffy hair, pulling it a little as the pleasure were running through his body. His mind went blank, everything around him ceased to exist, it was only him and Eliott left on this world, holding onto each other, kissing, touching, licking. It didn’t take much time to get all of their clothes off, throwing them away in the kitchen without caring where it lands.

Sunday 13:48

Lucas sighed, looked at the boy laying next to him. They didn’t actually remember when or how they made it to the bedroom, but now they were here, legs intertwined with each other, bodies sweaty and hot, hair messy, lips red, swollen and their eyes filled with so much emotions as they looked at each other. Lucas wrapped a hand around Eliott, placing his head on his chest softly, listening to the heartbeat that was just as fast as his own.

“I’m pretty sure the meal got cold.” Eliott mumbled into the silence of the room, which made Lucas release a little laugh.

“Yeah, We gotta reheat it later.” he said, stroking Eliott’s stomach lazily.

“I don’t wanna leave this bed.” Eliott said, fingers wandering into Lucas’ hair to play with his soft locks.

“We can’t stay here forever... not even if we want to.” Lucas mumbled, kissing his chest softly. “But we will have a lot of opportunities to lay here like this again.” he said on a soft voice, looking up at Eliott, who seemed to be really excited now.

“Oh yeah?”

“Don’t you think so?” Lucas raised his eyebrows which made Eliott giggle.

“Of course I do. I just still can’t believe that this is real.” he explained, still giggling. Lucas loved this sound, he could listen to it forever.

“People often do naked cuddling in bed after sex with their boyfriend, you know?” he said confidently without realizing what he just said. Eliott raised his head a little, looking into his eyes.

“Am I your boyfriend?” he asked intrigued to get an answer. Lucas blushed and looked away.

“I just thought that... you know... after this...” he mumbled a bit unsure, avoiding eyecontact. Eliott smirked, cupping his face gently now, placing a kiss on Lucas’ lips to make him shut up.

“Of course we are boyfriends.” he said happily which made the other boy to release a sigh of relief.

“Okay, good.” he mumbled, placing his head back down on Eliott’s chest. “We are boyfriends...” he whispered to himself, closing his eyes with a happy smile on his face.

#Elu Neighbours AU #Skam France #Eliott Demaury #Lucas Lallemant #Eliott x Lucas #Elu

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jadeargents · 5 years ago

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ig live — getting ready with me.

Checking if she was live, Jade smiled towards the camera as she raised her hand for a moment. “Hi everyone. Sorry for not announcing this live beforehand, but I didn’t know I was doing this until like five minutes ago. I’m getting ready to go out and I thought it would be a good idea to talk with you and answer some questions while I’m doing that.” She looked through her make up bag, taking only a moment of searching before she found the foundation. “I’ve already applied the primer, I’m gonna do foundation now. You can go ahead and ask anything you wanna know, as long as it’s not too personal.”

“How are you?” She read, a smile appearing on her features. “That’s nice of you to ask that first. I’m great, honestly. Living my best life. I’m writing a lot of songs, spending time with some of my favorite people, being on tour and singing my music... can’t imagine a better life right now.” Looking in the mirror she began applying the foundation, though she paused immediately after. “Disclaimer, I’m not a make up artist. I don’t know if I’m doing this the right way, I’m just mirroring what I’ve seen my own make up artist do.” Continuing, she didn’t say anything else until she finished the coverage.

“Moving onto concealer now,” she stated as she opened the liquid concealer and applied a few lines under her eyes. She then turned towards her phone to read the next question. “What songs have I been obsessed with lately? Hold on.” Grabbing her computer, she opened her most recent Spotify playlist. “Bloodline by Denise is my fucking jam, she’s incredible. The entire album is great, honestly. Don’t Worry ‘Bout Me by Luana is also a favorite.” Seeing some of Julian’s songs on there, she decided it was time to close the playlist. She had given them enough reasons to believe they’re together without saying one of her favorite songs is a song that was written about her. “There’s a lot of them I like. I can make a playlist if you guys are interested.” She finished dabbing the concealer then moved onto the next question.

“Have I written a song with anyone lately?” Choosing a light pink blush for her next move, she selected the right brush from her set and lightly applied the make up over her cheekbones at the same time as she replied. “I’ve written a song with Ofelia, and another one with Chasity and they’ll both be released eventually, in case you’re wondering.” She didn’t mention the other person she’s been writing songs with, since she knew they wouldn’t let it go for the rest of the live if she did.

“Twitter or Instagram?” An uncomfortable smile appeared on her lips. “You don’t want my answer to that, I’m going to be mean.” Closing her blush, she looked towards the camera. “In all honesty, I prefer actual human interaction. Social media is great for interacting with fans, but it’s not my favorite. That’s why I’ve been distancing myself from Twitter lately. I’ve just found I feel much better when I prioritize spending time with people and limit the time I spend on my phone. If there’s a piece of advice you should take from me, it’s that one.”

Grabbing her highlighter, she looked towards her phone again to read the next question before focusing on the makeup. “Would I accept acting in a film?” Jade shrugged her shoulders. “I'm not sure. Depends if the film meant a lot to me. I would definitely have to take some acting classes before that, but why not?” She stopped applying her highlighter, setting down her brush for a moment. “Though I have to point out I wouldn’t push my singing career aside. Music is the priority, no matter what else is there.” Once she finished with that step, she chose a palette of gold tones and continued with the eyeshadow.

“What do I think about what headlines are saying about me?” She huffed, shaking her head subtly. She was staring in the mirror as she applied her eyeshadow, but that didn’t last long because she couldn’t prevent herself from staring at the camera as she voiced her thoughts. “Frankly, I don’t give a fuck. You can quote me on that. I’m living my life and I’m being myself, and if that bothers anyone, it’s not my problem. I’m happy where I am right now and I’m not going to let anything ruin that for me.”

Reading the comments she received after her statement, her hand instinctively went to her chest, showcasing a mix of emotions on her expression. “I’m truly touched by your support, guys.” A smile appeared on her lips as she went back to adding the finishing touches to her eyeshadow. “Though I have to say you’re making me laugh with your reactions to me saying I’m happy. I didn’t think that was possible either, but what do you know? Maybe life doesn’t have a personal vendetta against me after all. Maybe I should’ve just been more patient, but well, I trust that everything happens for a reason. I’m thankful for the state of mind I’m in right now, and that’s all that counts.”

“Where’s Julian? How would I know?” A chuckle left her lips, as she began applying her eyeliner. “I don’t track him. That’s not a healthy…” she stopped, looking straight at the camera with an amused smile, “… friendship.” She continued tracing her eyeliner as if she hadn’t said anything out of common, that made the comments on her phone suddenly increase. She didn’t say anything as she waited for them to calm down, so she could go back to answering questions.

“What’s the last movie I’ve seen?” She stopped for a moment, looking towards the ceiling as she was thinking. A smile appeared on her lips as she remembered. “Funny enough, it was with Julian. We watched “The Nun” at an open air cinema event in London.” Jade read the comments, a disbelieving smile on her lips, then responded to them as she put on mascara. “Bold of you guys to assume I need someone to hold me during horror movies. I’m not afraid of them. Or anything for that matter. I’m pretty much fearless.” Except emotions, but she wouldn’t mention that. She wouldn’t tell them that she did spend that night in Julian’s arms, not because she was afraid, but because she liked being close to him.

Applying red lipstick, she then looked towards her comments. A huff left her lips as her eyes read the question. They were unbelievable. “Am I meeting Julian? Yes, I am,” she said, “I am also meeting Luana and Chasity, that doesn’t change that I’m putting on make up for myself, not for him, or anyone else I’m seeing today.” She sighed, putting her make up bag aside to look straight at the camera. “I think we’ve covered enough the subject that women do not dress or put on make up for men for you to stop insinuating at this point. You can do better.”

“You know, I should have a feminist podcast,” she said, looking through her comments and expecting to see a lot of negativity, yet that wasn’t the case. They were all encouraging and excited which kind of made her feel bad for getting their hopes up. “That was a joke. Sorry, I would, but I literally don’t know how that would fit into my schedule,” she responded, shaking her head softly with an apologetic smile. “Besides, I think I’d get too frustrated with the issues discussed and that’s not an advantage when the purpose is getting educated. You should be taught about feminism from someone who has patience, meanwhile I’m gonna keep ranting about these problems on Instagram and Twitter.” She ended her explanation with a smile, feeling much more calm when explaining herself.

“What’s my favorite shade of lipstick? The one I’m wearing right now, actually.” Inspecting what the label was saying, she then approached the lipstick to the camera. “It’s the Fenty Beauty Mattemoiselle Plush Matte Lipstick, in the shade of Royal Red, called Madamn.”

She removed the accessory that was holding most of her hair back. “What do I have planned for the future career wise?” She smiled as she began styling strands of her hair into waves. “I’m glad you specified what future you mean, because personal life future, I couldn’t have told you.” Realizing what she just said, she closed her eyes for a second, breathing in. She should be more careful with the way she worded things. “Because I don’t know what the future has reserved for me in that aspect, not because there’s a particular event that would happen in the future.” The last thing she needed was people sending videos of her to Julian asking him if he proposed or asking him when they were getting married. “Anyway, back to the question. I can’t tell too much, but I’m preparing for the European leg for All The Stars World Tour as you know. I’m also writing a lot, and I’ve already filmed the first two music videos for the fourth album. I can’t reveal anything about the release date right now, but you know, I’ll keep you posted.”

Once she finished with the hair, she attached it in a way that it wasn’t standing in her face, but still was cascading down her back. “Last question,” she announced as she looked through the comments until she found a good one. “What was my favorite concert I’ve performed during this tour?” There was no hesitation there, a genuine smile appearing on her lips. “New York City.” There was no doubt why. Julian was at her concert that night, and having him backstage when they hadn’t seen each other in more than a month made her feel so happy. However, she needed to divert the fans’ attention from that. “New York is one of my favorite cities, and the energy there is just incredible.” She wasn’t lying, but there were other cities where she performed that were memorable too — New York stood out because of her significant other being there. She smiled as she thought about how in love she was. It wasn’t getting less surreal with time.

“Thanks for keeping me company as I was getting ready. I’ll keep you updated on my outfit later when I’ll post a photo. Hope the rest of your day will be good. Take care.”

#self para.

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allskynostars · 7 years ago

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Ever Since New York Pt 13

Only 1 chapter left guys! As always thanks for reading :)

Catch up on AO3

"Do we go with white or off white?"

Jughead wasn't sure he could see a difference. He and Betty were shopping for furniture in IKEA. Jughead only wanted a say on the choice of two things: Their bed, and the couch. The two places he planned on spending the most time. The rest he really wasn't phased about.

It was Sunday, and they were moving into their new place today. He was excited, that was for sure, but he really didn't care what colour the bookcase should be. Betty nudged him with her shoulder, reminding him she asked a question.

"Uh, Betty, no offence but what is the difference?" Betty just laughed and took a photo of the tag on her phone for picking out later. She took his hand, pulling him along to the next department.

"Oh, Jug." They were looking at office ware now, and Jugheads interest was peaked. He had been thinking about writing again, now that he had his muse back. He ran his hand along a mahogany desk, picturing himself sat at it, writing stories. He smiled at the thought. Betty noticed.

"The office downstairs, it has enough room for two desks. If you'd like." She didn't want to push him back into it, he would get there in his own time. And he was starting a new job tomorrow so he had enough on his plate. But she had to say something, his face looked so wistful. His eyes moved to Betty's face, a bigger smile forming on his lips.

"Yeah. Why not?" He pulled himself away from the desk, walking to Betty he wrapped his arms around her waist. He bent his head and kissed her lightly. "It might take some time for me to get back into it, though."

"You've got time, Jug. All the time you need." She kissed him back. "Matching desks? Aren't we cute." He placed a kiss on her forehead.

"The cutest."

"Okay, we need a dining table."

Jughead just laughed rolled his eyes, letting Betty pull him wherever she wanted to go.

Jughead collapsed back, shirtless and sweaty, onto the bed he had just finished assembling. He had built enough furniture for a life time, he thought, and he still had a whole lot to go. Archie just so happened to be in town tomorrow, and is going to come round and lend a hand.

"Ahh, my handy man." Betty appeared in the bedroom doorway, a cold bottle of water in her hand that she then tossed to Jughead. "It's a good look, you know." She raised her brows, indicating his form. He tapped the space on the bed next to him.

"Come here, you." She pulled herself from the doorway and made her way over to the bed, allowing herself to fall onto the bed and snuggle into his side. He wrapped his arms around her and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"How far did you get downstairs?" He asked into her hair.

"Well," She starts to trace circles over his bare chest, "The lounge is nearly done, and I've half unpacked everything in the kitchen. But not enough to cook. Soooo, take out?" She arched her neck to look up at him, already knowing he would not protest.

"You sure know the way to my heart, Miss Cooper." He pulled her tighter to him, putting a finger under her chin and bringing her mouth to his. Jughead meant for the kiss to be quick, but as he pulled away, Betty's hand wrapped around his neck and held him in place. Her tongue snuck into his mouth, and the kiss became heated rather quickly.

Betty wrapped a leg around his waist and hoisted herself over him, their chests pressed together. Jugheads hands ran down her back, resting just under her backside. He squeezed tightly and she laughed into his mouth. She put her hands against his chest as leverage to push herself up. She was straddling his hips now, looking down at him. The look in his eyes caused that familiar flutter in her heart, and low in her abdomen.

"It's not fair, you had a head start." She says lowly, pulling her own tank top over her head, leaving herself in just a white, lacy bra. Jugheads hands run up her side, up and over the rise in her chest. Betty could feel his reaction against where she sat on his lap, and she smirked as she started to move against him. A low growl escaped from Jugheads throat.

"God, Betty, you are so fucking sexy." His voice was thick with lust, and it made Betty even more eager for him. She rose up from him, and Jughead frowned before he realised she was sliding out of her jeans. She didn't bother to remove her panties, he noted. And then she was working on the button of his jeans, pulling them and his underwear down just as far as she needed too. She took him in, in all his arousal. Betty looked up at Jughead from under her lashes seductively, before ducking her head and taking him in her mouth. The sudden wetness against him made his hips buck up to her, and another moan slipped from his throat.

Her tongue trailed from shaft to tip, painfully slow. But before Jughead could begin to beg, he felt her lips wrap around his tip. She took him in her mouth completely, sucking tight as her lips moved down his length. Her teeth came in to play as she made her way back up, and Jughead swore he could come right then and there if he let himself. She worked at him for a few minutes, building him up almost unbearably, and then he suddenly felt the loss of her mouth around him.

She pulled herself up to straddle his hips again, and used her own hand to manoeuvre between the two of them. In a swift motion she pushed her panties to the side, and lined him up at her entrance.

"Hey, I wanna play -" Jughead started to sulk, but Betty cut him off as she lowered herself onto him, taking him in completely with a moan. Her head fell back in pleasure, and she sat there for a moment, relishing the feeling of him filling her. She could feel herself adjusting to him, he felt so good.

Jughead just watched her, pleasure written all over her face. He started to move but her hands came down quickly on his chest, and she shook her head at him. Slowly, she started to rock her hips against him, and Jughead couldn't stop the loud moan that came from deep within.

"Fuck, Betty. You're amazing." Every time he went to move with her, she would stop.

"Na ah, I want to do this myself." She told him, her voice low and husky, and then he was putty in her hands. All she allowed him to do was sit his hands against her hips. If it wasn't enough that she felt amazing grinding against him, the facial expression she was wearing could have gotten Jughead off just on it's own. She was in complete control, and she loved it. Her eye lids were heavy with desire, and when she started to speed up her movements her mouth fell open slightly, the moans that fell from her were tantalising. Her grip on his chest tightened, he could feel the heat from her fingertips pressing into his chest. It almost felt like she would press right through his skin, and he would have let her. He could feel his high closing in, and as much as he didn't want to take this away from Betty, he had to have her come as well. But before he could make a move, she raised two fingers to her mouth. She sucked on them slowly, and, without breaking the eye contact she had with Jughead, she lowered her fingers down between them, and started on herself.

Jughead thought he might burst into flames right at that moment. It didn't help that Betty was screaming his name.

"Jug, holy sh-shit." He felt her tighten around him, and then they were both pushed over the edge, falling apart at the seams. She collapsed onto his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her. Placing a soft kiss to the side of her head, he whispered into her ear.

"You're going to kill me one day, I fucking swear it." He felt her shake in laughter against him.

"Well, we christened the bed. And I don't even need to change the sheets. It's a win all around." Now he was laughing with her.

It was Friday night, and Jughead had just finished a successful week at his new job. Which was a reason to celebrate, according to Betty. And Jughead had been waiting for the perfect opportunity to take her on a date night, before that ring burnt a hole in his metaphorical pocket.

Betty was always home before Jughead, so she had made a head start on getting ready. They weren't going anywhere fancy, just a little Italian restaurant and then the cinema for a film. But Betty loved any excuse to get dressed up, and she really did want to celebrate how quickly everything had settled for them. She was the happiest she had ever been. She couldn't think about it for too long, the tears threatened the mascara she had just applied.

The bang of the door, and the heavy footsteps up the stairs announced Jugheads arrival home.

"Honey, I'm hooome! You know, I wonder if I'll ever tire of saying tha -." He stopped dead in his tracks in the doorway to their bedroom. "Woah. Fucking hell."

Betty was stood in the middle of their room, looking like a dream. Her hair has straight, falling past her shoulders. She was wearing a white crop top, resting just above a high waisted skirt, white with a pink print. Thin strapped heels on her feet. She was a knockout.

"Do I look okay?" Betty asked, she could feel the heat rising in her cheeks from the way Jughead was looking at her. He was dumbfounded, his head shaking in disbelief.

"You are a total smoke show, Betty Cooper. I mean, I can't even think right now." He kept asking himself how she was real, and how someone like her even gifted a glance at someone like him. She laughed at him, waving her hands at him to make a move.

"Go get ready, Jug. We're gonna have to leave soon." He just shook his head again.

"Okay, no. No no." He finally managed to move out of the door way and closer to Betty. "We are not going anywhere. You look amazing, Betty. Truly. You are a dream." His tongue darted across his lips. "But god damn, as good as you're looking in those clothes.. I think I'd prefer them on a pile on this here floor" He finally reached her, his hands sliding around her waist. His thumb brushed the bare skin between her skirt and top and she shivered at the contact.

"As much as I am tempted, my love." She placed a light kiss on his cheek. "You promised me a date night, and I'm holding you to that." She pushed on his chest, but his grip only tightened.

"And you promised me anywhere, anytime." He raised his brow at her, that smirk that she loved ever so much on his face. She had to bit her lip to stop herself from giving in.

"Juggie!" She pushed him away again, harder this time. "Come on." She gave him her best sulky pout. He sighed heavily, backing away from her in direction of the ensuite.

"Fine. But I can't promise to keep my hands to myself all night." He kept his eyes on her, looking her up and down slowly.

"I would hope not." She winked. And he was such a goner.

They had a lovely dinner, Jughead had eaten a whole pizza to himself, which would be of no surprise to anyone. Betty had opted for a fettuccine, which she couldn't finish, so Jughead polished that off as well. And then they shared a tiramisu for dessert. Betty was stuffed, and when Jughead bought a bucket of popcorn from the candy bar at the cinema she was almost surprised.

"Jug, honestly, how do you do it?" She asked him as they made their way down the aisle, shuffling to sit in their seats. He just shrugged, shoving more popcorn into his mouth.

"Fast metabolism, I dunno." He said with a mouthful. Betty just laughed, reaching to grab his free hand, linking her fingers through his. They has picked a film that had been out for a while, in hopes that the cinema wouldn't be full. There was nothing worse than people talking through a whole film.

It was only 20 minutes in, and Jughead had already polished off his popcorn. He turned his head to look behind him, realising that they were completely alone in the cinema. His gaze fell to Betty's face, she was engrossed in the film, and he couldn't help admire just how beautiful she was. He was supposed to ask her the all important question at dinner, but it didn't feel right. It didn't feel like them.

He unlinked his fingers from hers, moving his hand to grip her thigh. He squeezed gently, his eyes still trained on her face. His fingers slipped under the hem of her skirt, and he saw her lip quiver, ever so slightly. He slowly trailed his fingers up the inside of her thigh, and he was no longer paying any attention to the film on the screen. When he reached her centre, he could feel how damp her panties her. He sucked in a breath and let out a low whistle.

"Well, then.."

He began tracing light circles over the thin material, watching her squirm in her seat. When his fingers slipped underneath, her hand grasped at his wrist tightly. She tried to pull him away, but he was stronger than her, and he knew deep down she didn't want him to stop. He dipped into her folds, stroking her. She spread her legs instinctively and he grinned. Betty arched her hips up to him, wanting more. And who was he to deny her of that?

He slipped two fingers into her at once, she closed her eyes tight, and bit down on her lower lip to stop the moan she could feel trapped in her throat from escaping. He curled his fingers inward, causing Betty so squirm in her seat. His thumb brushed against her clit before settling on it, rubbing in slow circles. His fingers and thumb worked together, pushing her nearly to her edge before she suddenly felt the lose of his touch at her heat.

Betty's eyes snapped open and she glared at him, but he's back looking at the screen with the smuggest grin plastered on his face. She moved her hand to run up his thigh, but he grabbed her wrist quickly, tutting without looking at her.

"Excuse me, Elizabeth. If you don't mind, I'm trying to watch this film." He was still grinning. Betty rolled her eyes and sulked, crossing her arms she fell back into her seat. She could feel Jughead laughing next to her.

Betty fought off the sleep she could feel creeping behind her eyes on the car ride home, Jughead had started something that she desperately needed to finish. She could barely remember the last half of the film, and she placed that blame solely on him.

But she was soon distracted.

Once they were through the front door, Jughead went straight for the couch. He pat the spot next to him. "Come here."

Betty sat next to him, and he pulled her legs onto his lap. He undid the tiny buckle on her strappy heels, placing them carefully under the coffee table. He started to rub her feet, and Betty's head fell back to the arm of the couch.

"Mm, thanks Jug." He just smiled in response, reaching forward to grab the tv remote.

"Shall we watch another film?"

"Only if I can actually concentrate on this one." She sniggered. He gave her a look that said no promises.

They say like that for a while, Betty laying back on the couch, her feet in his lap. And it was then, as he glanced down at her face, peaceful and content, that he knew this was it. It was now.

"Hey, Betts?"

"Yeah?" She asked, her eyes still on the tv and not on him.

"Can I marry you?" Her head turned slowly towards him, a small sweet smile on her face.

"I guess so." She joked. When his face didn't falter, she sat up slowly, tilting her head slightly with her brow furrowed. "Wait, are you..?" He took a deep breath and turned to face her, taking her hands in his face.

"I'm serious, Betty. I've been wanting to ask you for so long. But it never felt right, but here like this, in our home, this is us. I asked your Dad for his blessing, those few weeks ago when you were in Riverdale, and he, he did and shit I've left the ring in the car. God I am nervous, why am I so nervous?" His voice was breaking, and the hands that held her face were shaking slightly. Betty could feel it, and she knew then he wasn't playing around. Her breath hitched in her throat.

"Oh, oh my god, you're serious." Her voice was barely above a whisper, and she could already feel the tears prickling behind her eyes.

"Serious about you, about us and our future, yes. My love for you is the only constant I've ever had in my life, and I know for a fact that it's not going anywhere. I know I haven't had you back all that long, but I also know if I were to lose you again, my heart wouldn't take it. I wouldn't take it." He felt his tears, hot and wet, as they brimmed over. His hands tightened around her face. "So I won't. I'll never lose you again, I'll never hurt you again. I'm sorry if you think I'm moving to fast, just tell me, but I've loved you since I was 16 and I -"

"No, Jug, it's not too fast, I -" She was shaking her head, her hands came up to grip his wrists.

"Don't let me stop, I'm on a roll here." She laughed lightly, breathy. "I have loved you since I was 16, and all that time apart just made me love you even more. And now I'm here and I really can't fucking believe it." He took another deep breath, his eyes scanning the room they were sat in as if to remind himself. "I'm here, with you, in our own place and we have all these plans and god I can't believe this is my life. I dreamed about this, every single night, and here I am. And it's better than I ever imagined. I want this forever. You. Me. Everything." His head fell towards her own, forehead against forehead. He could feel his hands catching her tears as they fell down her face. He could feel her heavy breath against his face, matching his own. "I love you so, so much. And I'm sorry we lost those years, so sorry. But I promise I will make it up to you, every day for the rest of my life. If you'd let me. So, Elizabeth Cooper, will you marry me?" He caught her gaze with his own, and she could feel the intensity of every word. "Please?" He added, an unsure but happy smile on his face.

She could see it though, there was a tiny part of him that was worried she might say no. And she couldn't blame him, not with the past they had. But her thoughts echoed his words, and she would never let him go ever again. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his own, then spoke against his mouth.

"A million, trillion times yes, Jug." And then she was on his mouth again, pulling at anything she could grab. His hair, his shirt. And he was just as desperate as she, he ached to be pressed up against every surface of her. Betty was the first to pull away, her face shiny with tears. She raised her hand to his face and wiped away the moisture under his eyes.

"Did you seriously ask my Dad for his blessing?" She asked with the most heart wrenching smile Jughead as ever seen. He nodded. "God, I really fucking love you, Jughead Jones."

#ever since new york #bughead #bughead fanfic #bughead fanfiction #bughead au #riverdale fanfiction #betty x jughead #betty cooper #jughead jones #allskynostars fics

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roidespd-blog · 5 years ago

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Chapter Fourteen : G AS IN GAY

GAY… MEN ?

It is quite hard to tackle what gay is exactly as it looks simple enough but the specifics are way more complex. If I use it as an umbrella term, it covers men, women, trans men and trans women who happens to identify with this sexual orientation. Easy then. But the term “gay” was rejected by many lesbian women who wanted to forge an identity on their own aside from the shadows of homosexual men. So today, you can come out as a ‘gay woman’ but never use the word because it is still too broad and tight to people who are not exactly you and have more privileges. Also, and that’s the really interesting thing about it , the word gay has been favored by homosexual men most of all when describing their sexual orientation. And since I’m trying to cover everyone, I think it’s quite inevitable I begin dissecting what’s closest to one category. Consider this article about Gay Men — sorry, everyone else. You did or will get your due.

SEMANTICS

The word “Gay” is an english word which made its appearance in the 12th century. It comes from the very old french word “Gai”. “Gai” meant joyful, carefree or bright and showy. A meaning that was incorporated its english counterpart with the now famous Gay Nineties of late 19th century. Gay became a synonym of Homosexual in the 20th century. That’s when it got real sexual. Although to be fair, in certain circles, it was already the case, as someone gay could mean “addicted to pleasures and dissipations”.

One of my favorite movies of all time, Bringing Up Baby (1938) with the exquisite Katharine Hepburn, seems to be the first film to use “gay” in reference to homosexuality. Cary Grant is forced to wear a woman’s feather-trimmed robe when his clothes are sent to the cleaners. To that he says “I just went gay all of a sudden!”. And believe me, he was not in a carefree mood.

The earliest paper trail of the use of gay as homosexuals comes from Alfred A. Gross who said something so vile, I cannot NOT share it with you (as it shows how the world perceived, perceive and keep making us perceive ourselves) : “I have yet to meet a happy homosexual. They have a way of describing themselves as gay but the term is a misnomer. Those (…) are about the saddest people I’ve ever seen”.

If you really go into the specifics of what gay and straight mean, you see the world’s perspective of those “life choices”. Straight means seriousness, respectability, moral. Gay means uninhibited lifestyles and hedonistic values. And I’m not even gonna mention all the euphemisms that were created after the word gay. I already did in a previous article.

GAY AS AN IDENTITY

Gay as an “identity” is not something that is embraced by all. Some find it too clinical, focused more on the physical actions of one rather than his romantic feelings. Some rejects it because they see the undesirable cultural connotations and still-current negative slang usage of the word. Some loathes because it sounds too limited and box-like. I find it too broad and unfair to the rest of the community. Gay was for so long everyone in the community in the eyes of the general public. Because men were the most flamboyant and out there for so long, they overshadowed the rest of their brothers and sisters and appropriated the word for themselves, forcing the slow built of the acronym L G B T Q + (One letter at a time). As usual, men (as homosexual as they were) weren’t gonna let space for anyone else. Now, everything “gay” is a direct reference to homosexual men. A gay bar is mostly directed at bars with men. But let’s be real for a second. As GAY MEN, it is quite hard to forge ourself a proper “identity” with this word as its use has been turn so much against us.

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“That’s so gay” This pejorative usage had its origins in the late 1970, as homosexuality was seen (ahah, “was”) as inferior or undesirable. it is still a common phrase for people nowadays. I honestly can’t stand it. EVEN gay people use it and I’m not even sure they grasp the irony of their words. It harms the community by using a common phrase that spreads casual homophobia. Don’t do that, it’s LAME (see, another way to say things. Isn’t it nice?)

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Gay is not an identity. If you are a gay man, or an homosexual man (whatever the term you want to call yourself), you are describing your sexual orientation. Though it is part of your identity, you have a lot more to publicly claim that your love for cock — and if you can only define yourself as a cocksucker, well you’re more narrow than my top, almost-never-bottomed asshole.

“HOW DID YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF GAY YOU WERE ?”

PINK TRIANGLE

It is commonly accepted that a gay man needs to walk a certain way (or “funny”), talk a certain way (or “girly”) and dress a certain way (or “colorful” which can also describe their personalities). As television and cinema were slowly opening up to the idea of homosexuality, it was shown that a man who loves other man had to show it in every way possible. Be gayer that gay. What’s the point of all your fuss if we, straight people, can’t even recognize you ? The truth is, as I’ve said earlier, gay is not an identity. If you happen to be a homosexual, you identity traits should not be affected by it. Unfortunately, we are a group in constant renewal as we are not born into our community but later join it (or not). And since the world has mostly denied us existence, the only basic structure we have is the simplistic binary heterosexual perception the world has of us. The colorful ones.

Matt Bomer is gay. Liberace was gay. Do you see any specific identity traits between the two of them, beside their sexuality ?

That doesn’t mean you can’t cultivate your feminine traits, be flamboyant and fabulous. But just like everything else, you need to be sure that you have this inside of you because it is you, not because you adapted to the heterosexual gaze. And that’s just the idea of gayness that has been cultivated by society in general. I now want to talk about the idea of gayness inside the “gay community” (by that I mean gay men).

2. GAY TRIBES

As I was researching the different gay tribes that a gay man can belong to (I don’t know then all by heart since I refuse to adhere to them in any away — although as a younger man I described myself as a bear trapped in the body of a twink), I immediately landed on an article from Fast Company called “An Illustrated Guide to Recognizing Your Gay Stereotypes”. The article was talking about the work of illustrator Paul Tuller who was “reclaiming and celebrating” the archetypes of the gay community. That made my blood boil into supernova-like temperature.

Among those illustrations were the following clichés :

The Bear (a husky, large man with a lot of body hair) The Twink (a typically younger, thinner, gay man with little or no body hair) The Twunk (a young gay man who had the face of a twink and the physique of a hunk — jesus…) The Otter (a typically thinner, hairier gay man) The Drag Queen (that is a JOB. Do you even understand your community ? shut the fuck up)

There’s also : the Daddy (a man who is usually middle-aged and had a more dominant personality) the Jock (a gay man with an athletic build who typically enjoys sports) the Geek (a gay man with deep and enthusiastic knowledge of one or more hobbies, activities, professional fields or intellectual pursuits) the Poz (someone who is HIV positive… ) the Discreet (a gay man who is not out) the Clean-Cut (that’s a way of grooming!) the Rugged (that’s ALSO a way of grooming!) The Leather (it’s not an identity itself since it refers to a sexual fetish but whatever)

Those are terms that you can find to describe yourself on dating apps like Grindr (you can only choose one, three if you pay premium access).

Gay man, do you recognize yourself in these ? Off course you do. You can even associate those terms at will and make a comprehensive description of the image you have of yourself and/or the one you want others to have of you. Unfortunately, we are never going to advance as a community and a movement if we keep trying to put our own in little boxes. I do not want someone to come over to me and assume that because I look young and I’m somewhat thin, he gets to fantasize about me or be interest in talking to me because I’m a twink. I don’t want to put into the world that I’m in pursuit of a Daddy Bear with Leather interest ! That’s offensive and reductive. Why are you willing to do to ourselves what others do to us ? Don’t you see that the 50-year old cliché of the Fabulous Gay with pink feathers coming out of his ass is just the grandfather of “The Tale of the Bear and the Otter” ? (just made up that name, I need to make a children’s book out of this). I honestly think that tribes inside a tribe are the most counterproductive artifacts a person can face and it kills the individuality one can have. That’s just my opinion.

I haven’t even talked out the body issues that comes with the fact that you are gay.

This is what you’re supposed to look like :

That’s the picture perfect image most gay men are looking for on dating apps. To some, if you don’t look like that, you’re not even worth looking at. I mean, I already talked about racism on another article, but this is different. This is what a young 16 year-old think is supposed to be desirable. That’s the goal. Sweet boy, most people don’t look like that. I have fat. I have a little belly. I’m not okay with it but I can’t really fight it. I also believe that the gay community, NOT society, gave me the impression that my body was not enough to be considerable good looking. Sure, I’m cute. But hot ? Never felt that way. If I was a heterosexual man, I do believe that I would not be subjected to that much scrutiny from my sexual partners. And if I feel like that, I’m sure I’m not the only one.

So, “How did you know what kind of gay you were” ?

Young gay boy, you don’t need archetypes to define what kind of gay you are. You need to define what kind of human you are and the rest will follow. Don’t fit into a category put together by the community just like, previous to that situation, you decided not to fit into the category society wanted to put you in (aka straight). It took me years to know that. Build an independent spirit that is not polluted by pre-conceived notions of gayness. I hope you let yourself grab that opportunity too.

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