#but I raised that kid for a good chuck of his infancy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jonnyardor · 8 months ago

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[Intro]

Understand, understand, understand

See my face, I'm done sayin: I aint playin

I am loved and Reborn, every day

I'm my own version of a real man

[Verse]

Felon in the eyes of my fam, really irritating

Weeping on the melons of Madame, keep em irrigated

Treated as an afterthought, they'll regret in hindsight

Streamin when my palm writes, income like pipelines

My rap is deeper than coitus and high life

Sobering thoughts and my fantasy is sky high

I got a good wife, we're raising ours right

True to my new self, I'm living Christ like

Should've passed out brother fingers to my little siblings

Cuz the way they passed me up, hate without a ceiling

Bigotry like this is why my wife abhors religion

Lukewarm Christians praying loud but God wont care to listen

Technological advancement, I can be more graphic

Imma knock your lights out, leave you keysmashing

Slap out the bass, out of wannabe Chuck

Chuckle at his gibberish, fucked his wernicke up

Head up your ass, I'll knot your arms , youre a pretzel

Head of mine critiqued, but it soon became the stencil

Brown noser relatives (immer am scharwetzeln)

Can't take my jokes? Let me hide a pencil

Dark humour is morbid, not anti-Black racist

Germans were zombies, gold diggers, makeshift

Graveyard shift but holes were like craters

At least in Namibia they buried their leaders

Skulls as a trophy like soldiers american

Did to Iraqis, Afghans, Iranians

They emigrate and change race like Kardashian

Big nose is vilified, Disney thinks Aryan

Papa named me Jonathan, God's gift, heaven-sent

Now he's bedridden, Godspeed, you're coming back

Instead of grieving, the rest seems hellbent

No to bereavement, keep acting heartless

Towards me and my wife and my offspring

Too often, neighbors and aunties did gossip

About me, then they believed their own stories

Sorry, your works dont give my God glory

Call me, verify what you heard about me

Doubt me, openly, long's you confront me

Taunt me, long as I know, you're really for me

But dont speak, ill about me, when I'm your homie

It's lonely, not just up top, but when you fall deep

Was horny, cramped in a room with kid and shawty

So corny, in-laws look sour, not resolving

So jarring, mad for no reason, it gets boring

Be honest, spell out your issues and move onward

A forward, attacking me nonstop like a coward

Dont cower, face your emotions, feel empowered

Where His presence towers, I can't get devoured

Verse

You were wrong for choosing your publicity

Over showing up for a woman in her pregnancy

Jeopardizing beating hearts, scoffing at their misery

You wont see their infancy without an apology

Narcisstistic mom and dad,

One had money, one had kids

Some of us did not repair,

Some need honeys, some need drinks

Pressure felt from everyone,

You're afraid what people think

So you're living how you're told

And you shame the mavericks

Thank you for your 3 horrendous months

Had a place to sleep, but we were on the run

When you kicked us out, He gave me an apartment

God is Lord over the storm, I'll never jump ship

Always faithful to my love, not like y'all did

Get offended bout my lines if the shoe fits

Fuck your feelings, cuz my heart has your shoeprints

Blocked your contact, until God gave me a new lens

(Chorus) x4

Understand, understand, understand

See my face, I'm done sayin: I aint playin

I am loved and reborn, every day

I'm my own version of a real man

[Outro]

Oh oh

Real man

Oh oh oh oh oh

Real Man

#musician #producer #hiphop #independent artist #christian music #faith #soundcloud

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okaybutlikeimagine · 5 years ago

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Hello. Thoughts on Dads!Harringrove??? the boys like in their mid 40s with 3 kids. what type of parents do you think they’ll be??? will their grandpa jim spoil them??? i love harringrove parents w all my heart. they both deserve a big happy family of their own 🥰

Hello, my thoughts are it’s the cutest damn thing ever and i could cry just thinking about it aUGH HARRINGROVE DADS.

Okay, so i’ve read quite a few things talking about the Harringrove Dads and adopting little babies, adopting sweet little girls, etc. and i absolutely live and die for that shit. Like i’m so serious, i think it’s so sweet, it warms my heart, i eat it up, i LOVE it

But also (and i’m sure i’m not the first to say it) I feel like they’re NOT the type to go adopting babies. They’re not getting a surrogate to raise a kid from infancy. They may want to, they may have that inkling, they may see Jonathan and Nancy having a baby and get that infamous Baby Fever, but I just… I really can’t bring myself to write that.

Bc (in my canon) Billy was adopted as a 17 year old delinquent. El was adopted as a 12 year old lab rat. Steve was basically abandoned at home when he got too old to be the “cute little boy” their parents could tote around to promote their Nuclear Family image. They’re two boys who were made very keenly aware that there are shitty people out there who believe kids get less desirable the older they get. Shitty people who think babies are worth more than older kids who probably just come with “problems”.

(i’ve also been rewatching Boy Meets World and GUYS. i see a lot of Billy in Shawn Hunter. Boy who’s taken in bc he’s been neglected and he’s a sensitive kid underneath but he’s got this hard, bad boy shell bc it’s easier than crying every day)(AUGH and just like Will in Fresh Prince goddamnit i fucking LIVE for those kids who think and act all tough and use their pretty looks like a weapon but all they really need is a caring and stern hand who’s gonna keep them on the straight and narrow and help them out along the way i am SOFT.)

So if these boys have 3 kids, it’s 3 kids who were seen as the “worst” of the bunch. 3 kids they fought to connect with bc these kids didn’t see anything in themselves anymore but goddamnit, Steve and Billy saw 3 kids beat and broken by the system that told them the older they got, the smaller their chances were of ever getting out of this place. They came with problems and fears and shells harder than Billy’s steel toed boots but like hell were Billy and Steve going to let these kids go the rest of their lives thinking they were damaged goods.

(god now i wanna write OCs of their children. look what you did to me!)

Okay so their parenting style changes as they grow and adopt more kids, as what happens with most parents. They learn what’s good and what’s not so good and they get better at fixing problems (but of course it’s never quite that easy bc they’re adopting kids of different ages).

And of course i’m saying they adopt the kids everyone has turned away, but for their first kid they adopt a little boy, about 5 years old, bc they gotta start small. He’s very cute and has a bit of a lisp and he mixes up some of his letters and he’s… energetic. He runs and he screams and he tires himself out real quick to the point where he just flops down and takes naps where he is, meaning there has been more than one occasion where Billy or Steve has found the child sleeping face first in the middle of a room (the entry room seems to be his favorite. Billy doesn’t blame him, the carpet is softer there than anywhere else.) One time he even flopped down on the middle of the sidewalk and again in the middle of a department store. Both times Billy scooped him up like a rag doll and carried him around the rest of their trip out.

And i know it’s not the BEST movie but i can’t help but think their parenting at the beginning would be a bit like the movie Big Daddy. Like, a lot of well-intentioned but misguided advice, a lot of “real world” lessons (like how to piss on the side of the road), a lot of hurried and frazzled solutions to things because “kids are messy why are kids so fucking messy why can’t he ever stay clean?”

“He’s just a kid, Steve, c’mon-”

“He’s always sticky! How! How is he always sticky? What’s making him so sticky!”

And I just!! Augh!! Imagine Steve at work all day and Billy has off/maybe he’s inbetween jobs right now so he can be home with the kid/whatever and so he has errands to run and takes their little kid with him and the kid’s like:

“What’s your real name?”

“You know that. It’s Billy.”

“…. why?”

And Billy shrugs with an “I dunno, cuz I couldn’t talk and my parents could and they had to call me somethin.”

“You could’n talk?”

“Hey, you couldn’t either.”

The boy thinks for a second before: “Could too.”

“Could not. Not when you were a baby.” He pokes the boy in the shoulder, still very tentative with how much the little tike can take. “Don’t start attacking me! You didn’t name yourself.”

They walk for a second but Billy chimes in before the kid can.

“Hey, that’s not fair though, is it?”

The boy looks up and shakes his head, but he can see the confusion in his eyes.

“You should be able to name yourself, right? What do you want your name to be? Anything in the world, what do you want me to call you?”

Which is how Steve comes home to their child and Billy eating some baby carrots smothered in BBQ sauce and his husband telling him: “By the way, the kid’s new name is Hot Dog.”

“…. what?”

“He picked it out himself.”

And just imagine Billy and the kid are going grocery shopping and Billy catches the boy reaching for a can of spaghetti-o’s.

Billy reaches for the can and takes it off the shelf. “You like these?”

The kid nods.

“Alright then. Watch out-” he hold the kid back gently before chucking the can at the ground. He turns to his boy. “Dented cans are half off. Y’know, Microsoft dropped 3 points.”

His kid nods in awe.

“Wanna pick that up for me?” Billy asks and the kid follows, before rearing the can back to throw it on the ground.

“Woah woah woah! Watch it there!” Billy grabs the boy’s arm, before aiming it a different way. “Aim away from your feet… there ya go. I know they’re kinda tiny targets but still, don’t wanna give yourself a flat tire there.”

The kid chucks it and Billy laughs. “Nice job, little dude.”

And i just have so many THOUGHTS about this!!! Their second kid being a little 9 year old girl who’s real fucking good at boxing and fighting and also a little too good at sneaking out the window. They’ve caught her a few times in the backyard or the front yard, just sitting around shivering. It always gives Billy and Steve a heart attack.

“What are you doing out here?” Steve asks, kneeling down to look at the girl, Billy taking note of her hands balled up into little fists.

“I heard a… noise. A loud noise.”

“Oh, yeah, your brother just dropped a glass.”

“Oh. Did you… did you… hurt him?” Her fists clench tighter, her shoulders get tighter, closer to her ears. Billy sees himself in it. He wants to ease her shoulders down out of her ears.

“No! No of course we didn’t.” Steve soothes, rubbing the girls arms soothingly. She looks skeptical.

But it becomes a pattern, and they realize it’s whenever she thinks something is going on or someone is in danger. To the point where if any loud noise happens, one of them rushes outside to look for Jordan climbing out a window.

Steve’s out there this time, grabbing hold of her middle and helping her out of the window because they’ve let their plants grow a little wiley and she was having a hard time getting past them. He sets her down gently.

“It’s fine, hun. You’re fine. Your dad just dropped a pan.”

“Oh…”

“Y’know, you can’t keep doing this.”

“What?”

“Ditching out the window like this.” He kneels down to look at her. “It’s not safe. And one of these days it’s gonna be snowing and you’re gonna jump out in your PJs and be all cold.”

“I’ve done it before.”

And if that doesn’t break Steve’s heart. He thinks about Billy when he was a kid. About the stories Billy has told him when he’s tired and a little drunk and feeling a little emotional. Steve loses himself in the sadness of the thought for a second.

He brushes a little bit of dirt off her shoulder.

“Yeah… well you don’t have to ever again, alright? I mean it. Nothing is happening to you here. We’re not gonna hurt you… Now give me a hug.”

She accepts it, which is big for her, and Steve squeezes her as tight as he squeezed Billy that one night he found him with a cut on his cheek and bruises all up and down his arms.

And then they adopt another boy. A 17 year old boy. A boy who’s been in and out of so many homes he doesn’t have a number for it. A boy who’s angry and jaded and… loves poetry and is so gentle with children and animals.

And him and Billy butt heads… a lot. They’re so similar… at least he’s similar to what Billy used to be. And it pisses them both off bc suddenly Billy knows what Hop felt- frustration. Utter frustration at this boy not understanding his fucking potential.

And i’ve written a whole dialogue for this but it’s long and very dramatic and I might just end up writing a fic about all of these little sweethearts (bc i have so many ideas!!!) but basically the boy telling Billy and Steve that he’s fucked up. He’s fucked up and no one will ever be able to change that and Billy is adamant that he’s not until he admits-

“No. You’re right, you are fucked up.”

Steve is shocked. “Billy!”

“No, shut up Steve.” Billy points at the kid. “You are fucked up. You’re a fucked up kid, and you know what? I’m fucked up too. And so is Steve. And so is your aunt El, and your Aunt Max, and your Uncle Will and Uncle Jonathan. And y’know what else? Your grandpa Jim is fucked up too. Hell, even your Grandma Joyce is fucked up. Wish I could tell you she’s not but ding ding ding! She is!”

And they get in a fight. There’s no fists, no touching, but it’s a major fight of Billy telling this boy what Hop told him once: You’re our kid now and we love you. And you can leave and never think about us again but we’re never gonna forget you.

And: “Don’t you dare fucking compare us to those assholes because I’m not giving up on you. We’re not giving up on you. You’re family now and no matter what you do, I’m gonna be there to worry about you and be happy for you because you deserve it!”

And Billy gets frustrated with all of his yelling so he grabs his stress ball and walks away, breathing heavy, and Steve is there to look the boy in the eye and tell him Billy’s right. And that he understands that the boy has a past before they ever met him “but Billy had a life before he met me… and same with me and him, and we can still love each other. So maybe we’re just on an even playing field. We get to learn about you while you learn about us and… and even so, we can still love each other, right?”

AUGH I’M SOFT. ANYWAY.

Hop and Joyce spoil them fucking rotten. It’s really hard to spoil a 17 year old boy as stubborn as an ox (“You were bad enough, now you bring me another one?” “You saying you didn’t like taking care of me, Pops?” “I’m saying I have enough gray hair as it is.” “Oh shush, Hop!” Joyce hits him) but they do their best. They give him love and support. Joyce bakes a shitton of cookies and cakes and Hop buys the kids toys (and the older boy CDs and records and band tees)(“I’m trying! The older I get, the less I know what kids what.”)

And they love all their aunts and uncles too! The little girl has a hard time reading and she reads way below her level, so Aunt El helps her out!

“I understand. I learned to read really late.”

“Really?” The girl’s heart lifts a bit. “How late?”

“I was twelve.”

“Really??”

El nods and gives a kind smile. “Yeah, but I learned, didn’t I? I had a lot of help, and I can help you, too! Just like your dad helped me.”

The girl smiles brightly.

Will’s favorite is the youngest boy (but he would never tell the other two that. Of course not.) because he’s silly and he took to Will almost instantly and he likes to roll around in the grass and catch bugs and those were never really things Will liked as a kid and he… he likes that. He didn’t think he’d ever like that but there’s something about this kid that brings out adventure in him. He reminds Will of Mike when they first met. A bundle of energy and excitement that always dragged Will around on adventures.

The older one hangs out a lot with Max and Jonathan. Jonathan likes hanging out with the kid cuz he reminds him of Billy when Billy was young. (“I don’t remember you being this… exhausting though.” Jonathan tells Billy.) (“You’re just getting old, bud.” Billy says with a laugh and a clap on the back) They smoke weed whenever they can and Jonathan gives the boy some good old 70’s and 80’s music to listen to and tells the boy “Meatloaf is not the best of our decade, don’t listen to your father. Either of them, honestly. Their music taste is shit.”

Max hangs out with the older one too. She gives him advice about girls and how to talk to them and she picks up a skateboard for the first time in years because of him. They go to the skate park sometimes and everyone there is amazed that a twenty something year old girl is here to skate with them until she skates circles around them. (She becomes the hit of the skate park)

She also wrestles around with the little 8 year old girl sometimes! She has a lot of heart to hearts with the kid, giving her advice as well and telling her silly stories of both Billy and Steve so that the girl learns to trust them more.

And overall they’re a big, loving family!! And they’re slightly dysfunctional too and i just! Can’t see it happening any other way!! Bc they’re a little dysfunctional but they’re dysfunctional with LOVE and isn’t that what matters???? It’s a lot of work and a lot of sweat and a lot of tears but it’s their family and in the end their kids love them to death bc they realize their fathers love them to death and!!! Everyone’s heart is full and happy and i’m crying!

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the-busy-ghost · 4 years ago

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Thoughts on TSP S2E05- The Plague

Well that was An Episode. Actually I thought the writing in this one was a little better than the other episodes (at least until the last three minutes or so, what the fuck), and I did like some of Katherine’s speeches this time. Nonetheless some thoughts:

- Firstly, I would like to see the casting call. Do they cast for ‘Whispering Lady #1′ and ‘Whispering Lady #2′? Seems like you could make a career out that, given how often they appear in period dramas.

- How long has Sir William Compton been ill? I know the plague was a terrifyingly quick disease but you would think someone would have noticed he looked a bit peaky BEFORE he dropped dead in the middle of the hallway. Also they’ve established that he’s the physically closest person to the king and yet nobody is at all focused on checking to see if Henry is well?

- I really feel like they’re setting up Anne and Katherine’s relationship to be Bessie Mark 2. Like Anne is going to be portrayed as a close attendant and confidant and then stab Katherine in the back, thus robbing Anne (and indeed Bessie) of any independent motivation or justification.

- Could they call this episode Bessie Blount and the Fastest Three Year Pregnancy in England

- And while we’re on the subject poor Bessie. I really feel like she’s been robbed a little by the writing (not by the actress, Chloe Harris is great). She doesn’t get to say a word in her defence until halfway through (the silent Other Woman), and then we’re supposed to believe that being the king’s mistress was such a huge dishonour she’d be chucked out, and then the only reason she is restored to favour is probably going to be because of Katherine? That’s a lot to saddle on one woman. I was already a supporter of the Bessie Blount defence squad and I am quietly seething on her behalf. Also I feel like they could have had Katherine help at the birth IN LITERALLY ANY OTHER WAY THAT WAS VERY GROSS AND NOT AT ALL SAFE AND THEN YOU JUST LEFT HER THERE BLEEDING AND FUCKED OFF WITH HER BABY

- Katherine “what did you think I was going to use it for” WELL SURE I DON’T KNOW KATHERINE BUT HOW IS THIS BETTER??? The Myranda absolutely JUMPED out here, I cannot even BEGIN to describe how appalled I am.

- Also again is this supposed to be a sympathetic portrayal? Snatching baby Henry away from his mother before she’d even held it? Even if you hate her it’s a dick move especially since you are known to dislike the pregnancy and you also just pulled a knife on her? And you won’t even hold your own daughter so like double shit?

Anyway moving on...

- They are really playing up the ‘Wolsey lives vicariously through Henry’s mistresses’ vibe this episode. It is A Lot

- Also how does Stafford always manage to say things in literally the grossest way possible. Who gave Olly Rix these lines.

- Lol @Wolsey just dropping his cardinal’s hat casually into the conversation. Classy.

- Nobody “understands” Henry. Except Wolsey of course. Poor misunderstood baby king, AYE RIGHT.

- Mary’s storyline was actually pretty well done. They ARE cute. But I suppose it’s easier to pull off the ‘beautiful princess in arranged marriage and secret wedding’ plot than anything more complex like Margaret’s. I’m still not over the fact that that is very clearly Waddesdon though.

- *Technically* I’m not sure their marriage actually counts as treason, in the terms of the fourteenth century treason acts, but I’m no expert on that so I could be wrong. Just seems that period dramas throw the word treason around a lot when it had quite a specific meaning in England (in Scotland not so much, it’s a very flexible word there).

- Mega Feminist Katherine of Aragon refusing to touch her daughter and continuing to refer to her as a ‘useless girl’. 100% Accurate and Feminist portrayal this (not). But Girl Power right?

- Awkward sex scenes GALORE this episode

- Margaret’s storyline was... somewhat comprehensible this episode but still a bit naff. Not the actors fault, they are doing their best. But I suppose it works? I do have some specific thoughts on details on that though, so more below

- Do I have to keep pointing out that James V WAS the king not the future king? Did you all miss the mourning coronation or something? Also the ‘Stewart clan’ does not “insist” on anything, because that is waaaaay too simplistic and also the wrong terminology.

- Albany’s line about ‘civilised company’- I mean as a Scot OUCH but also it’s quite believable coming from him I suppose, wee John was not a huge fan of Scotland.

- Holyroodhouse was not part of Margaret’s dower so far as I’m aware? At least it wasn’t traditionally part of queens’ dowers in Scotland and it wasn’t in any of the documents I’ve seen made at the time of her marriage. It also had a freaking abbey attached to it (though tbh, that had fallen into decline a bit by the early sixteenth century). So why not pretend you’re using one of Margaret’s actual dower houses, further north? Also if I were Angus and I was trying to hide out from the Duke of Albany while illegally retaining control of James IV’s illegitimate children, I would probably go to the much more secure castle of Tantallon, not Holyrood. But everything has to happen in Edinburgh I suppose.

- Ok it’s a tiny detail but I am still exercised about the Presence of James IV’s illegitimate children. Firstly, how are they all still kids?? The only one who should still be under the age of twelve in 1516 (or 1519? God knows when this is) is Janet Stewart, the future Lady Fleming and daughter of the Countess of Bothwell. There is no evidence that she was ever raised at court and her mother Agnes was still very much alive (she actually spent Christmas with Margaret Tudor at Morpeth after the queen’s flight into England).

The others were either dead (Alexander via Flodden and a few who died in infancy), married adults (Katherine, Countess of Morton, and Margaret, Lady Gordon- the latter *might* have also been in a relationship with Albany’s older brother Alexander Stewart at this time, it’s unclear), or teenagers approaching adulthood who were either on the continent or in Albany’s camp (James, Earl of Moray).

SECONDLY how does it AT ALL fall in Margaret’s purview to raise them, let alone that of the Earl of Angus. Margaret could theoretically have stepped in as a benefactor- that’s not unknown and the royal family was a wide concept so Albany and Margaret sometimes did act on behalf of royal cousins and illegitimate children- but Angus? Even Jane Stewart of Traquair would theoretically have more right to one of the children than him (and NOT because of some stupid ‘Stewart clan’ nonsense) since wee Janet Stewart was probably her first cousin. (Margaret Stewart, Lady Gordon was Angus’ first cousin but once again, she was a married woman with children of her own). Although if they’re implying this was a political move on Angus’ part then that would have been a smart move- having custody of James IV’s illegitimate children could be quite useful politically, as later events involving both Albany and Margaret Tudor showed. But since the show has sort of been implying that they’re useless and that Margaret is stuck with them, it doesn’t make a lot of sense.

- Also none of this is how a pre-contract works, and while we know very little about Jane Stewart of Traquair anyway, it’s clear that the show knows even less. But we love to see the Earl of Angus torn to shreds by both Margaret and Jane. One would hope that that was him Telt but sadly we all know this isn’t the case.

- Oh and a woman! In Scotland! Who is Scottish! We’re not cryptids after all! And she was then immediately chucked out.

- Also he just... walks off?? No attendants, no kinsmen, no horses? Do the writers have any idea of the level of power and status the Earl of Angus theoretically held?

- One of the men behind Margaret had A Line. I fear this is how Henry Stewart is being introduced to us.

- Can they shut up about the god damn kilts for TWO. MINUTES.

- BUT the real award for the most truly disappointing thing about this episode goes to the fact that we are now unlikely to get the Margaret and Mary reunion we all deserve. I mean I cannot BELIEVE this show passed up the opportunity to show the Queen of England and the dowager Queens of Scotland and France all acting in consort after the Evil May Day Riots. But then I suppose they would have to deal with that event in a sensitive fashion which like, I do not see them doing. I am genuinely disappointed by this, since the actresses are doing their best and I think it might actually have been a good scene. And it would have been an excuse for some fabulous costuming.

Anyway. That’s about all I’ve got.

#TSP #Margaret Tudor #Mary Tudor #rants #Meg Tudor

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luciferpens · 4 years ago

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( HARRY SHUM JR, MALE, HE/HIM ) ⌇ have you seen KAI YEOH around icaria? they are the 35 year old child of HERMES. they remind me of a THOUSANDS OF FILLED BOOK SHELVES, SLIPPERY FINGERS WRAPPED AROUND A LOCKPICK, INFALLIBLE MEMORY, and A CARING NATURE. They’ve been on the island for 18 years.

BASICS

FULL NAME: Kai yeoh

NICKNAMES: K

FACE CLAIM: Harry Shum Jr.

AGE: Thirty-five

SEXUALITY: pansexual & panromantic

DATE OF BIRTH: June 1, 1985

GENDER/PRONOUNS: cis male he/him

EDUCATION: H.S. Diploma.

OCCUPATION: Librarian

GODLY PARENT: Hermes

GODLY POWERS: Enhanced thievery; he can steal practically anything without being seen. Prophecy & intelligence: These two combined into one allowing Kai to have a perfect memory and ability to tell people small glimpses into their future or their past depending on what he needs to know to help them get to what they need. Persuasion: He can sometimes persuade people into doing whatever he wants or pushing people to do what they actually want to do without inhibitions.

BIO + BULLET POINTS

Orphan -- dropped off the day he was born or within a day or so

Had a habit of leading parents to their perfect child -- even, no especially, if it wasn’t himself. Think Good Luck Chuck.

He was a bit chaotic as a little kid -- either soulful guide or a pickpocket trickster.

TW: Child abuse

At nine he was fostered; but he saw something he shouldn’t have and him, along with the bio kids, were all sent back to the foster system (they were trafficking foster kids)

Was bullied as a kid in school for being a foster kid.

His second foster home (12) screamed and yelled. so he stole money from them

The third (13) abused him; he was sent into the hospital four times most on life support or something similar.

The fourth (16) got him addicted to perception drugs. When he was pulled out he went through severe withdrawals but is doing good now.

The fifth (17) he doesn’t even try to think of. Its just dark. He refuses to talk about it.

End TW

He found out around 17.5 years old that he was a hermes kid after a slip up from a caregiver. Hermes appeared after a prayer and moved him to Icaria

He met Angelia the librarian. His older sister. She treated him like a son and took care of him while also teaching him the ways of the infinite library that moves around the world. (Think TARDIS but just a huge library)

At 24 he adopted another foster from his old home who he realized was a demigod. Her name is Dory. He’s raised her as his little girl since she was 10.

Angela died when he was 25 and he has since been the head librarian.

Kai has no earthly idea who his parents are. Or, well at least who his mother is. He arrived at the orphanage’s doorstep on the first of June wrapped in a blanket with talaria embroidered on the blanket. All throughout his infancy he was a calm and quiet child. Why he hadn’t been adopted out right, when babies are usually the first to go? He’s got no idea. All he knows is that for the first five years of his life? Things were relatively normal for someone living in the american orphanage system. He learned to take care of himself, how to bathe, wipe his own ass, how to dress and look semi-decent. No one was going to help him do it -- not really. But, he made friends -- then saw them get adopted and rarely ever saw them again after that. The average life of an orphan in the system.

When he was five though, things started to change. It all started with a simple sentence. “I’M NOT THE ONE YOU WANT, HE IS.” It slipped out of Kai’s mouth before he understood what he was saying, his finger pointed to a boy playing with a toy a few feet away. The parents were confused but took it as a sign Kai didn’t want to go with them. They adopted the kid not long after. This started a chain of events, parents would come in, they’d look at Kai and think “I want him” but Kai would point them to a child they actually wanted, the one that would fit their family best. Think Good Luck Chuck but with adoption instead. This was a trait he kept up for the next 12 years that he was in the foster care system.

Strangely enough -- Kai was okay with it. It kept him out of bad situations with parents who would have ended up sending him back, it kept him with others and helped them find good homes. Sure, it was lonely, it was depressing and quiet at times, but he knew he was doing some good in the world by being there. Besides? Who wouldn’t want to find their perfect family? All those kids got it… he wanted it too. So he worked on himself, he tried to be a model kid, tried to be a happy-go-lucky despite being in the system. As a young boy he was highly intelligent, curious, playful and quick. He was known around the orphanage as both a leader and a trickster. His siblings never quite sure which version of him they were going to get on any given day. Would he be the clever trickster that could steal anything out from under your nose or would he be the soulful guide that helped families find their perfect child? No one knew, hell he didn’t even know.

At 9 he was fostered for the first time, unable to convince the family that he wasn’t who they wanted. (He had no recommendation because no child jumped out to him as being perfect for that family) They took him home and for the first time in his 9 years he saw what a somewhat normal family was like. It started so simply, so happily. Kai was enjoying being part of a family, of having siblings and a mom and dad. The new family took him to the doctors, took him to camps, he had sleepovers with class friends, he played sports. He actually felt like a normal child. Things had been going so well… but life had other plans and he now knows… was trying to protect him. The thing that would end up with him back in foster care, was his insane memory. He could recite anything he ever read, almost any conversation he had. This by itself, not a bad thing, a bit of a burden, but not horrible. (Imagine remembering every word someone ever said to you and feeling like your brain could be overly full at times) The issue came when his mischievous trickster side reared its head and he snuck around the house in the middle of the night when they had a babysitter.

TW: CHILD ABUSE He found things he shouldn’t have, files that talked about how the money they got was spent, files that documented previous children -- ones he saw no proof of around the house. Files that lead a curious 9 year old to recite word for word to his social worker one day on a check up -- and ended with all of the children, even the family’s biological ones being taken away from them. He wouldn’t find out till he was a teen that the family had been “losing” teens for over a decade; claiming they ran away from home and just ended up back in foster care…. When in reality they were trafficking them. Selling the foster kids to the highest bidder; he wouldn’t find out until his mid 20s that most of those kids? They ended up addicted to drugs or dead, abuse of all types having driven them mad.

Back in the home, now 10 going on 11, Kai fell back into old habits; Pointing families to the perfect kid, helping out around the orphanage by taking care of the younger kids, pulling little tricks, stealing small things when he was out and about. Kai was -- back to his normal. An orphan who did his best to hide that fact at school. The kid who stole and lied his way into any clothing or food he would possibly want. An orphan who did his best to look normal. Trying not to get bullied for the oversized, dirty clothes that were a standard of being an orphan. He went in and out of four more foster homes before he aged out of the system. Each one having their own serious issues; It had started with the yelling in the first family since almost being sold. They yelled and screamed and called him all sorts of names. Soon Kai had stopped caring what people said and only cared how they acted. And his own acts? Well he stole money all the time from the family since he felt it was a good payment for dealing with their yelling. Soon he was taken then placed in another home…. This time it was physical, they said little to him and if they did it was always cold and mean. They hit him though, bet the ever living hell out of him. He ended up in the hospital four times on life support before they took him away. The third family had actually been decent -- but the bio kids in the house abused drugs and -- well soon Kai had fallen into that as well. Luckily for Kai he was ripped from that family after a couple of months, and while withdrawal had been hell on earth, he got past it. The fourth? He was 17 when he was put into his fourth and last foster home. And, well the fourth he was there for ten days before he ran away and showed back up at the orphanage. Kai doesn’t talk about what happened in that home, he’ll ignore any references to the last home.

TW END After each incident Kai became a bit colder, a bit more closed off. He went from a happy boy to a teen who’s look could cut you, whose words made you fork over your money and who’s memory you could never doubt and never wanted to go up against (people tried but they always lost that bet.) Once he was back at the orphanage and now 17.4 years old he spent all his free time at school and trying to avoid the home. To avoid seeing kids get their happy endings with their perfect family while he was left without. He made a family of friends and spent much of his free time sleeping over at their houses but -- it was never the same. No place felt quite right. It was around this time that he came back to the home and the oldest care worker was cleaning the kitchen. She started to talk about the night he had shown up. How his blanket had talaria on it and how they almost named him Hermes until they saw the name Kai scribbled onto the blanket. She pulled the blanket out of a closet and handed it over to him. That night he spent hours looking up mythos around Hermes, about where the blanket could have come from and who his mother might have been.

The research -- revealed some interesting things. Little things he had always noticed about himself stuck out as similar to Hermes. The ridiculous ability he had to steal anything without ever being noticed, how easily he could convince people do do whatever he asked, his -- insane memory. Now, Kai had never been a religious kid, but seeing how similar he was to Hermes? He prayed that night to the greek god knowing nothing would happen….. Except it did. Hermes showed up the next morning pretending to be a parent wanting a kid and asked to see the teens. He found Kai and the two spent the next day together -- and that's when Kai learned all about the greek gods, about how HE was a demi-god, about how he had powers and skills and how there was a whole island of people like him. Those who had powers and those who would allow him to -- live his life how he wanted without the shackles of the foster system and american government.

Without a second thought Kai said he wanted to go, he had no skills, no real job experience but -- well it had to be better than this. So Hermes’ took him, he was 17.5 years old when he arrived on the island. Hermes set him up in a house and then -- introduced him to the library. A building that comes and goes as its needed. It can appear anywhere in the world at any moment, it appears, always, as a small one story building that looks like it’d be one -- maybe two medium sized rooms; but when you open the door? It’s massive, as far as the eye can see, floors reaching for the sky, thousands and thousands of rows of shelves. It was bigger on the inside. Just like the TARDIS from his favorite TV show. He was instantly greeted by the librarian, an elderly woman with a sweet smile who grabbed him by the cheeks and said “AH, MY NEW ASSISTANT. NICE TO MEET ANOTHER HERMES KID.” She was like him, able to tell what it was people needed then to give it to them. He was left with her -- and for the first time in his life he actually was home. The stacks of books and this old lady -- this was where he was meant to be.

Angelia became the mother he never had, she taught him how to control his skills; they played games of stealing things from one another without being caught, Angelia taught him languages, she tested his memory, tested his ability to figure out what people really needed -- and then she taught him how to predict the future a derivative power of what people needed and wanted but more precise. Angelia taught him how to cook, how to do basic “adulting” things, she treated him like a human and for the first time in his life? As a kid -- She let him just have fun without worrying about food, about safety and others. And Kai? Kai finally learned to relax -- just a little. He learned to trust… just a little. In Kai’s mind, there was no one better on this earth than Angelia. She was a saint of a demi-god.

For the first time in his life Kai was also able to explore who he was as a person, he came out as bisexual, slept around and actually got himself a boyfriend for a short period of time. The two were quite happy but all good things must come to and end and around the age of 24 the two broke up and went their separate ways. Since then Kai hasn’t settled back down, he’s enjoyed being single and is a frequent face in Phryne much to the dismay of Angelia who wanted nothing more than to see him settle down and get married.

When he turned 23 he met the Larsen kids and realized that one of the children back at the home was irrily similar. After a talk with their father he knew what he had to do. He rushed back and within a week had adopted Dory. Dory had been a child he had seen come in and out of the home since he was 13. A cute little girl who wanted nothing more than to be loved and understood. Her love of bees needng to be appreciated as well. But she kept getting sent back, her love and understanding of bees being to much for most families. He knew she was a demi-god like him and just needed the right family -- and and -- he was the right family. Now she was his. His 10 year old to take care of. He brought her back to the library, set her up in her own room, and spoiled her like he had always wanted to be as a kid himself.

When dory was just hitting 11 she called him papa -- and his heart melted. He became even more wrapped around her finger. He'd do anything for that little girl. Between Angelia and Dory Kai had finally found himself a family and a home. Angelia did her best to try and set Kai up on dates, trying to find him that last little bit of a missing family she wanted so desperatly to see him have. She didn't care if it was a man, a woman or someone non-binary. She just wanted to see her own "adopted" son get something she never had; a true love. Someone to share it all with. A wedding.....

Sadly, Angelia would never get to see him marry. She died just three weeks after his 25th birthday. Kai had had 8 long wonderful years with his older sister/mother. But he had to step up and become the librarian. Before she passed she had trained him in every aspect that was the library. That they had the position and honor of gathering the history of the world in written text. It wasn’t something they actually wrote so much as it was -- like a digital download. The library would appear in a country, a new book would appear on the proper shelf and they’d leave to go onto the next. Over and over again. People came and went to the library -- never questioning why they could only see it once a month, or why they seemed to forget it existed until the day it appeared. They never questioned why they always had to trade knowledge for knowledge they just -- accepted it and moved along.

Kai now is the head and only librarian. He is looking for a pupil, someone to train and help him run the library. A part of him hopes it's another Hermes’ kid… or another orphan. One he can help like Angelia helped him. Kai lives in a smallish apartment inside the library. Kai is an eccentric, fashionable and all around chill guy. He cares deeply about others but does a good job of hiding it behind a facade.

#icaria: intro #its long again whooopppppsssss #Kai #Kai: Musings

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ambulatoryhoodie · 5 years ago

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I’m trying to combine some of all the aspects of Beetlejuice media into a coherent algimation. For my own fic verse

So, long post, I can’t put a read more on mobile

Juno is Beetlejuices birth mom, she put him in foster care as soon as he was born.

Nat and Bea wanted to adopt him, even if he was a right troublemaker they still loved him and had raised him since infancy.

Around 8years or so the adoption papers wound up on Juno’s desk. She regained custody of him, pulled him out of regular schooling and made him work in the catacomb like offices.

She made his life hell, he never had any contact with Nat and Bea after that. She wasn’t physically abusive but she used her affection as a tool to make Beetlejuice do as told

Other office workers were physically abusive towards him but telling Juno just made things worse

Beetlejuice is a lot older that Miss Argentina but she’s like a mother figure to him.

Beetlejuice is emotionally stunted. He’s also extremely immature, either because he never learned better or actually went insane a long time ago.

He loves the hell out of Miss A, but would never say it outloud afraid Juno might put her down in the filing dungeon

He worked down there for a century, it was a never ending unorganized mess. On account of people always dying and all. He learned a lot about random people reading their files and can really spook some Neitherworld denizens by knowing every fact about them.

I’m calling it the Neitherworld not netherworld

The whole system is being computerized after Juno’s death.

After purposely fucking up continuously Juno banishes a Beetlejuice to the world of the living. And puts a name curse on him.

Events follow like the musical. But beetlejuice is more of a creepy haunting before he finds out Lydia can see him. The ‘wedding’ is way less creepy and Lydia is on board from the get go. It’s just a green card thing and she gets to be an honorary dead girl so she can freely travel to the Neitherworld to look for her mom.

They just can’t go through with it without a legal gardian signing a document. Juno stabs Beetlejuice and banishes him instead of Lydia stabbing him. Juno still gets eaten by a sandworm. But it’s Barbra and Beetlejuice who ride it into the living room.

beej is crazy good at writing up contracts and sometimes helps out Charles with his new business contracts. Beej can be scummy in them so Chuck always makes sure they aren’t too scummy.

Also, Chuck isn’t cowardly. He is easy to jump scare though.

Delia shows basically no reaction to any pranks. She laughs them off and sometimes gets Beej and the Maitlands to do creepy messed up poses and shapes so she can paint them.

Barbra is her favorite muse

Adam is really into miniatures

Charles bought the Maitland hardware store and a ‘sorry we almost exorcised you’ gift.

Adam still technically runs it and Lydia works there after school.

Delia has taught Barbra sculpting, and she likes it way better than pottery.

Ginger looks like a regular spider (her face bothers me in the cartoon) she’s redder, think red kneed tarantula, than in the cartoon and wears a pink tailcoat and top hat. Still tap dances but knows a lot of other dance styles too. She works as back up dancer but hopes to one day have her own show or dance studio

Jacques LaLean runs a gym in downtown, has a better less fake French accent.

Both rent from Beetlejuice who owns the roadhouse. He is actually a fair landlord and fixes things quickly.

Beetlejuice is still a slob in his own appartment. And kind of a hoarder.

The only thing organized are the books and documents wich are emacculant.

Beej enjoys reading but has some trouble actually reading and gets embarrassed when he pronounces something wrong. It takes him ages to finish a book.

Beej is Adhd hardcore. And on the autisic spectrum. Delia, Barbra, Adam, and Lydia are the only ones that know.

Most Neitherworld denizens hate Beetlejuice on priniciple, thinking he’d be like Juno. They quickly learn to hate him for other reasons.

He’s still a jerk but more prankster trickster than outright murderer. Thinks all problems can and should be solved with violence

Lydia is a little on the fence about this, on one hand she thinks some things can be talked out. On the other she totally agrees that guy needed a guilla monster set on him.

Doomie exists, and Lydia can summon him to the living world by clicking his car fob.

Lydia and Beej carry around compact mirrors to talk to each other anytime.

Clare is still a snobbish airhead. More of the school like her though and avoid the new kid Lydia.

Prudence and Bertha are still school friends with Lydia on account of thier shared social pariah status

Lydia dyes her hair black, it’s naturally blonde.

Adam and Barbra make frequent visits to the Neitherworld but aren’t ready to pass on yet.

Instead there’s a door in the attic that leads to Beej’s living room.

Beetlejuice is tempted to charge them rent for it

Charles and Delia occasionally vacation to the Neitherworld, Beej or the Maitlands tag along. Lydia loves showing them cool spots and weird flora and fauna. As well as introducing them to her friends.

There’s a room in Beejs appartment he rents out as a dead and breakfast.

During these times the appartments mess is localized to Beejs room. And eventually it stays like that.

Prudence and Bertha have never knowingly been in the Neitherworld. Lydia is afraid they wouldn’t want to be her friends if they knew most of her friends were dead or monsters.

Betty juice is still a thing, and is the ‘niece’ of Mister Beetleman. Who can be found sometimes conning the citizens of whatever that towns name is. It’s got like three names.

The school is coed instead of an all girls school (that makes no sense in a small town to have seperate schools)

There are some other weird kids that are friends with Lydia but I haven’t named them yet.

An alien enthusiast and conspiracy theory nut boy.

And a ditzy pastel horse girl she loves Lydia’s entomology projects. But the boy is terrified of all things six or more legged.

The kids hang out at the local grave yard. Some kids stole the g a long time ago and it never got replaced. There are sometimes secret dance parties on the empty side of the lot.

Lydia is still very into photography and with the help of prudence runs the school newspaper

The Deetz family donates large sums to the Girl Scouts every year.

Sky actually thinks Beetlejuice is cool and is very into horror now.

The kids think it’s weird Lydia hangs out with a smelly old guy but hey, it’s free adult supervision.

Most parents dont trust him at first, he claims to be Lydia’s uncle and the Deetz family assures all parents he’s not a pedophile. They don’t say not a sex offender because frankly they aren’t sure about that.

The parents are trusting after Beetlejuice beats some guy into pulp after harassing some school kids he didn’t even know.

The rest of the school like Lydia better after that and Beetlejuice is a local hero-ish. He still always has some kind of con he’s trying to run and no one wants another pyramid scheme after the last one involved and actual pyramid.

The pyramid is near a local park, and was made into an art gallery.

Lydia’s search for her mom lasts a long time, they eventually do find her. Emily adores Delia and had given Charles the go ahead to remarry after her death.

Emily will sometimes haunt the Deetz household, but she already has her own house in the Neitherworld which Lydia visits often.

Chuck, Delia, and Emily will sometimes go on group dates in the Neitherworld, it can be hard to find a place that living people can actually eat at though.

There is a bizarre ‘normal’ area in the Neitherworld. It looks just like any normal town. And the people there are usually newly deads.

Beetlejuice takes up bug farming, beetles actually got eged out as his favorite after he got his hands on some Dubia roaches. He loves the ‘Creamy filling’. he covers them in powdered sugar like reptile keepers would cover them in calcium.

Lydia likes to pick up weird feeder bugs for him in pairs so he can try raising them. She’s a pet store regular, the employees have no idea what critter she keeps.

When Emily found out about Juno and Beetlejuice she named him her honorary son. But really gave him a chewing out over the green card thing.

Lydia helps Beetlejuice reconnect with the Juice family and they finally legally adopt him.

Beejs full name is Lawrence Betlguise Juice

I can’t think of anymore at the moment but this is real long already

#beetlejuice #lydia deetz #beetlejuice cartoon

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