#but I only have so many sideblogs in the first place bc I want to keep careful track of my meta and refuse to organize my main

[nightunite]

slides u twenty dollars can we consider jealous johnny if he sees reader is only that avoidant with him and no one else… i don’t want to rush ahead in case you have something else planned but like, johnny hearing that there are rumors one of the baron’s newest maids is pregnant and the timing just lines up a little too well 😵‍💫😵‍💫

-noona bc tumblr refuses to let me send asks from sideblogs

Hiiiiiiiii Noona 💖

Thank you for the twenty, I'm gonna spend in on blind boxes, it's not an addiction, I can stop anytime I want. Spoilers concerning reader's pregnancy under the read more:

Gonna answer only the first part of this and save the second half because I don't wanna give away too much just yet. I will say that at the point this piece of the story takes place, our dear reader is indeed aware she's pregnant and has informed Konig, who insists on her having someone with her when she goes out into town. Anything could happen, and he fears the idea of her falling and harming herself or the baby, or having to do so much heavy lifting. They're just on friendly-ish terms though for now, as this isn't by the time reader has started showing, so no rumors have started flying yet. Also, curious how one section of this will be interpreted. Johnny exhaled as he stepped out of the shop, breath a thick fog in front of him as the winter chill set to work stinging his cheeks. Snow had fallen last night and stayed, keeping the roads slick. The thick woolen cap he wore snug around his head crushed down his signature hairstyle, but he'd rather have flat hair than a raw scalp. He rubbed his gloved hands along his wrists to fend off the shivers, the door behind him shutting with a clatter and the ring of bells as he moved along the walkway towards his next stop a few streets over. Four stores in, and he had yet to find what he was looking for. He wasn't entirely sure what that was, mind you, only that whatever it was remained elusive. It let him move about town all the same to get out of his house which had felt odd these past few weeks. Too loud, too quiet, achingly lonely yet also too many people nearby setting his nerves on edge. Impossible to get anything done, his irritation grew erratic like his thoughts. All he wanted was a moment of peace, a chance for his ever-restless thoughts to let him breathe lest he take it out on his staff.

Try as he might to deny it to himself, he knew why this happened. She wasn't there anymore. Packed up and left in the wee hours of the morn, when the fog was thick and the duchy silent as a graveyard. Didn't bother to inform him, merely the head maid whom had given him a look that said he was a fool. Shortly thereafter, word had gotten back to him that she had taken up a position in the Baron's home. He'd had to take a swift walk to handle that knotted up wad of string wrapped tightly in his gut.

If he were an honest man, he would say she hadn't truly been there even longer. It made his throat close up, the way she seemingly wasted away in his halls, sunken in on herself like a sunflower wilting in the frost. Like a cold snap at the start of winter, suddenly she had no time for him. Always quick to pull away from him, to find some task to do that kept her preoccupied from the start of the day until well past it. Hesitation whenever he asked her what was wrong, a momentary pause before she would tell him nothing was the matter, addressing him as 'my lord', as though the name she had permission to use would not escape her mouth.

Eyes always downcast, fixed on the floorboards or over his shoulder when she would bring herself to pretend to look him in the eye. Truth be told, he preferred it in some ways, the relief of not having that direct connection. At least then he didn't feel the weight of his inadequacy of caring for her, like a verdict cast down upon him. This way he could pretend that he was the man he was supposed to be. He stopped attempting to touch her in any way when he caught how she tensed, braced herself for contact. The kissing followed shortly thereafter, her strained smiles and broken laughter making him feel worse, like he never should have even tried. Anything further wasn't even on the table, and the thought of even broaching the subject made his insides churn. And so, he stopped. Filled his time with the other maids, though that never lasted long either. They weren't right; laughter too loud or high pitched, smile too far to one side, hair the wrong thickness between his fingers. It left him feeling further unease, as though he kept going down the wrong hallways in a maze that he had no chance of escaping. Like a picture set at the wrong angle, or shoes that are a size too small. It pinches him, makes something inside him pace like a beast in a cage, keeps him up at night. He knows what felt right, what kept him sated and content in his days. Eyes that gazed at him like he was her salvation, her sun, always turning towards him with a smile that made his own lips turn up. Soft hands even after hard work, rubbing over the calluses of his palms and stroking over any scars, pressing gentle kisses to them. Laughs and squeals that made his heart race like a schoolboy, cheeks flooded red with the desire to keep her that way, keep all of her attention on him. Even now as he turns the corner, he feels a small smile coming up from those memories, only to freeze awkwardly on his face.

Across the street there she walked, a small box wrapped in her free palm. He hadn't anticipated her being out, assuming she had remained indoors lest the chill finally do her in. He felt his breath leave his lungs at the sight while his blood raced at a fever pitch, heart beginning to hammer. She looked beautiful, the way she had before whatever had occurred at the duchy. Cheeks fuller than he had seen since this past fall, eyes bright and a small smile on her face, she looked radiant to him. Some piece of him, deep in his soul perhaps, relaxed in relief at the sight of her hale and hearty. Another part of him, a part of who he is as a man, feels the stirrings of bitterness at the fact she seems to flourish again once out of his reach. But he couldn't help the way he wanted to grit his teeth and snarl at who stood at her side. Baron Konig, the man who had poached her from him. Still draped in his silly shroud, he was covered head to toe, a thick peacoat covering him and sturdy boots making contact with the ground, clicks following. Even with the coat in the way, Johnny's eyes narrowed at the way her hand was tucked into the crook of his arm. Why does that bastard have the right to touch her? He must have said something under that hood, for she looked up at the Baron and let out a chuckle, breath pluming out for a moment before she responded with something that he nodded in return to. In his free arm he held several packages, looking for all the world as though they weighed nothing. To a man of that size, they probably didn't.

Johnny felt the acidic tendrils of jealousy lance through him, searing him from the inside out while he fought the need to bare his teeth and tear into the man. He couldn't help it, truly he couldn't. That should have been him with her, guiding her down the street while she looks up at him and laughs at whatever he tells her. Actually no, he thought, she shouldn't be out here at all. She should have been back in the duchy with him, playfully seated on his desk, fire roaring and keeping them both toasty while he pretended to work. He would reach out and cup her face, stroking the apple of her cheek, while she would lean in and reward him with a kiss for his hard work that day. A game they had played before, the two of them wrapped up against the bitter outside world, a secret shared between their hearts.

Why does she not look at him that way? What did he do to harm her? What must he do to have her return to him? Just look at him again, please. Even just a passing glance, something to show that she still recalls who he is, who he can be to her.

Words of adoration and touches that feel like absolution dissipate from his eyes, Johnny swallowing a small noise behind his teeth when he sees how she leans into the Baron so she can stretch slightly higher and say something in his ear. Never before has Johnny wished to be lesser in society so as to step forward and take her hand and pull her home, show everyone who she is meant for. Unable to bear the sight any longer he hunches his head into the collar of his coat and swiftly turns around. His attempts at finding peace have only led him to further turmoil.

As he heads back to his carriage, his thoughts circle over and over, ruminating and digging furrows into his sanity.

He doesn't deserve this, none of this. Not with a woman like that, not with her. When he returns to the house, he has letters to write.

[puppy-phum]

tag game ✨

thanks for tagging me zey @thasorns ♥ i teared up at your addition about me, that is so sweet :( i miss our dff talks too! idk what you're into these days but would love to talk about some show with you again :')

-

1. why did you choose your url?

bc am obsessed with one (1) man who belongs to another amazing guy ♥ (been thinking about an url change lately tho bc i'd like to put last twilight and the hurt it caused behind me but haven't found something else to tie myself to yet. maybe we are and phumpeem if the ending delivers?)

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

not really. the only side blog i have is my og url vishcount saved for nostalgia purposes but there's nothing on that blog

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

started on this hellsite (affectionate) on the lord's year 2013 and it shows

4. do you have a queue tag?

i don't use the queue much so no. you will only catch me reblogging like ten posts in a row when am online/in the mood and then going back to lurking again

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? 

i was into a bunch of animes and tumblr was filled with amazing fanart. i wanted to be able to look at them in peace

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

to show who my url is about ♥ mork my beloved

7. why did you choose your header?

wanted it to fit the theme. also i adore the last twilight rooftop kiss, it's one of the brightest spots of the show

8. what’s your post with the most notes? 

most likely this the untamed edit from 2020. i was truly living my peak back then :'D tbh i feel like the whole of tumblr was living its peak when the untamed was airing and when we all lost it together for the longest time after

9. how many mutuals do you have?

way too many and i adore all of them, tho i probably forget or cannot recognize most of them. especially if you've changed your url/main fandom OR i have, we might not even know each other anymore haha

10. how many followers do you have?

more than i deserve and idk what all of you are even doing here but i like feeling like i'm part of some type of crowd ♥

11. how many people do you follow?

quite recently i unfollowed some inactive blogs and blogs about things i don't really care for anymore so my follow count is a nice number of 205

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

uh. i don't really know? do some posts from my finnish tumblr (suomitumppu) era count? :'D

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

am chronically online and i open this app like a fridge

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

no, not really. am not really one to share strong opinions, especially negative opinions, publicly online which i think is the cause of most arguments ppl have here. i'd rather just keep my peace and be nice

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts 

mostly i don't like doing things when am told to do them

16. do you like tag games?

yes! it always makes me happy to know that someone is thinking about me and i do find these a lot of fun to do ^^

17. do you like ask games?

also yes. i just don't often reblog those bc i don't really have a lot of interactions on this site. if i find an ask game with very interesting questions, i might forward it to kiddo @i-am-just-a-kiddo and we do it together privately to enjoy it like that ♥

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

the first one that comes to mind is hanyi @ruanbaijie who i think deserves all the recognition for her absolutely amazing giffing skills ♥ she's also the sweetest so idk what's not to follow, make her even more famous if you can!

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nope. idk if i function like that tbh. i have some huge friend crushes tho and want to be closer with some ppl a lot! not mentioning names bc am shy haha

but i want to say that monica @stormyoceans is very important to me these days. she brightens up my days and makes my whole fandom experience so much better by simply being her enthusiastic and authentic self ♥ never change!

and also jessi @oswlld who i still cannot believe is someone i can call my friend and bestie on this site. i am so happy we've gotten to share bad buddy, vice versa, and last twilight together! also happy to hear about your life at times and to just share silly things with you ♥

third one i want to mention is shannen @icouldhyperfixatehim who always manages to stand out in a positive way. we don't interact much but i cannot help but feel very giddy about their presence on my dash. they leave the best tags and every time they reblog any of my edits with their tags, they manage to make me feel like i've made it and my edit was worth the effort :'D so thank you!

20. tags?

want to tag at least @psychic-waffles @foxofninetales @hils79 @sherrymagic @srnileforme and @thitiponqs ♥ also the ones i mentioned before are free to join and anyone else who wants to do this!

[okifyouinsist]

tagged by @killerandhealerqueen (i just keep forgetting abt this one SIGH but i have free time rn and im committed)

1. why did you choose your url?

growing up, i just wasn't a social media girl purely bc of the fact that my parents were super strict and I assumed they wouldn't allow me to have it and I just never really saw the appeal anyways. Then later a few friends basically forced me to make my first account and because i wasn't very creative and thought i was the funniest bitch ever i made my first user 'ifyouinsist' and it just kinda stuck ig

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

nope. i fear if i had a sideblog id end up neglecting it and forget abt it or make it my new main blog and neglect this blog and this blog is literally my baby

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

well i've had an account since like end of 2019, beginning of 2020???? (im pretty sure) i didnt like use my account tho i just had it to look at other ppls blogs not my own, i only acc recently made up my blog up properly and started posting this year when it was like 2 am and i was on holiday to visit my home country and my mum and my aunts were gossiping and i was like whatever who tf cares how late i am to a fandom and the rest was history

4. do you have a queue tag?

nope, my drafts are a terrifying place and if they ever saw light id die

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

to reblog pretty art and to compliment writers on ao3 AND on tumblr bc they deserve everything and more

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

logan sargeant. need i say any more???? hes my bsf in spirit

7. why did you choose your header?

loscar. LOSCAR. loscar. i am very much totally normal abt them i swear (lying through my teeth rn). they're just my everything unfortunately and sometimes i like to say the fist bump is their version of intertwining their fingers together

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

ik this bc it was the first i myself made and it was abt loscar obviously and i thought i was SO funny (im not) and its lowk still such a flop post but its MY flop post so here it is :)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

idk man im shy (scared of rejection) so i dont have a lot, like genuinely let me go see acc, oh ig its me and my 14 moots against the world i love you guys fr

10. how many followers do you have?

BYE my 26 followers are my 4 lifers fr (im such a flop this is hilarious)

11. how many people do you follow?

37 (sigh need to follow more ppl RN)

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

im gonna be so real idk what defines as a shit post but most probably yeah

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

idk im acc really inconsistent like ill be MIA for 2 whole days and the next week ill be on tumblr like for most of my day when i can its very confusing like today ive not been on it a lot im academically locking in and all that

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

ummm no. like. if i see someone i follow getting hate ill send them a supportive ask and then at the end of it be like anon ur such a loser get a life but other than that. nope.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

im very much neutral abt them, like idc if i need to reblog it yk if i want to i will if i dont then i wont

16. do you like tag games?

YES (said in a very normal voice)

17. do you like ask games

YES. i love getting asks id cry if someone sent an ask (i have one rotting away from a moot rn i WILL answer it i swear)

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

can i say all my moots. i wanna say all my moots they're all famous in my eyes guys, i start tagging its gonna end with all my moots being tagged but like @killerandhealerqueen and @dwarvenchords were the first 2 ppl to come to my mind theyre both just the coolest fr

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nah. i have FRIEND crushes on literally all of them tho. wanna be their friends SO bad

20. what is the last song you listened to?

Mamichula- Bizarrap

21. what are you currently watching?

in my docuseries era rn watching breakpoint (STILL)(i only have time on the weekends rn SIGH)

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy?

sweet. im such a 'lets skip the dinner and just get dessert' kinda girl

23. what is your current relationship status?

this is SUCH a complicated question to answer but heavily leaning more towards single

24. what is your current obsession?

sports. like just sports in general. like ive always been a casual fan of sports but i never used to take a deep dive into it but this year i decided to dive, and i dived VERY deep, so like motorsports, tennis, football, cricket, trying to get into hocky rn im collecting them atp. also. documentaries. like when i get time ill be binge watching like 5 documentaries i just love them sm

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

wish i could tell you fr, i mean, rn im re listening to SOUR by Olivia Rodriguez AGAIN bc thats the way my life is going SIGH, Olivia is my favourite basic artist fr, nothing compares to listening to SOUR for the first time in 2021

ANYWAYS, thanks again for the tag i really appreciate it, im gonna tag @ezisregrettinglifedecisions @fabeong @whatssthepooiintt

[mariejordans]

i honestly don’t even know where to begin with this post, so i guess i’ll start with hi! sorry, i’ve been gone so long, though probably most of you didn’t even notice i was gone lol. sorry for not giving any warning to my absence, and i am especially sorry to the mutuals who have reached out to me that i haven’t responded to. i was and still am struggling with anxiety and depression and towards the new year it was getting to be a bit much for me, so i decided to take a mental health break from social media.

i’d honestly been contemplating coming back, but today i received a dm from someone with a link to a post that was accusing me of bullying and creating fake accounts to bully other people in this fandom. first of all, i would like to emphasize that this is not true. attached below is a screenshot of all the blogs that i own (EDIT 2/9/24: i have since deleted the screenshot for my own privacy and i believe that since i made this post, there has been more than enough evidence to clear my name.) milfsociety is my main account, which i have linked before on this blog and many of my mutuals also follow me on my main, and the rest of them are just me saving my old usernames or other sideblogs that i rarely use, but all of them have been inactive for two months at least.

i do NOT condone bullying ever, and to be continually accused of it by this person is very disheartening. it started with this post (seen below) that i made back in november after seeing a post discrediting marie as the main character of gen v. i admit that my language was probably a bit harsher than was necessary, but honestly my intention was not to send hate to op (which is why i never tagged it with any gen v related tags) but to defend marie. it also wasn’t meant to be solely specific to this one person but as a general post because at the time, there were lots of accounts discrediting marie and to be honest, i was just kinda venting bc of how sick of it i was. (also, just to mention, i have intentionally left out their username because the last thing i want is to send hate to this person.) this was the only post i made on the topic and later i heard that apparently op blocked me afterward (which does not offend me in the slightest since i have since done the same thing) so this honestly should have been the end of it.

i honestly hadn’t given this post a second thought until a little under a month later i received this ask out of nowhere, accusing me of ableism and bullying. i replied to this ask, which i will link here. honestly this ask came as a complete shock to me, because i had honestly forgotten all about my previous post.

i responded to anon and in the reply i apologized to their friend for my hurtful comments and expressed that it was never my intention to attack anyone, especially anyone with a disability, which i did not know about when i initially made the first post. i also explained my side, stating why i made the post in the first place, which i still stand by. originally, i had linked their post in my reply, which in hindsight was a mistake that i regret and i should’ve known better. again, my last intention ever is to spread hate and negativity or to bully anyone, so i deleted the link when i was asked by a third party. this person has also since deleted that post about marie entirely.

shortly after i posted the reply, i guess i can only assume that whoever anon was told them about the reply. i’m honestly not sure if they’ve ever actually read this reply or not, but they made a response to my reply, accusing me of harassment and bullying. honestly, it really confused me at the time, since i’d only made two posts in reference to them, and one was a reply to an ask, but we ended up having a third party account who was mutuals with both of us acting as a mediator to settle things and i genuinely wanted to move on from the situation. we both had each other blocked and it seemed to me that anon was just trying to instigate more drama between us, so i thought it best to just leave it at that. i was also going through some mental health issues at the time (unrelated to this situation even though it didn’t help) and had been considering taking a break from tumblr, and so i thought it would be best to just go inactive for a while.

this is honestly the first time i’ve used tumblr in the two months since i’ve been gone, so i have no idea what else has been happening regarding any other blogs and this person, but apparently i am being named as the sole instigator here and i just wanted to once and for all clear up this issue and my name. i’m honestly not sure if this person will see this post or if they’ll even accept it as truth. i can’t force them or anyone to believe me as i really don’t know what else i’d have to do to prove that i don’t have any other secret accounts other than making this post.

i will probably continue to be inactive on this account as i think it is in everyone’s best interest. i never wanted to contribute or start any drama in this fandom, but i feel like i am partially responsible in how this situation has turned out, so i would also like to apologize to you all as well. i’ve never had an account of mine get as big as this one has (thank you to everyone who liked and supported my silly little ramblings!) and i can honestly say i have had the best time interacting and fangirling with you all about this show and these characters that i love so much and i will continue to enjoy and love gen v and marie from afar!

goodbye for now,

rose (aka mariejordans)

[khaopybara]

tag game ✨

@mbjw saved me from saturday boredom and tagged me in this, so thank you jubs, i enjoyed these a lot.

1. why did you choose your url?

i love khaotung. khaotung was obsessed with the capybara song last year before i even knew who he was. capybaras happen to be a very common animal in the region i live. i was very happy they were getting the recognition they deserved. put them together, we have lovely khao + capybaras = khaopybara (i'm also super sure i've seen people here and on tw use this and i just stole it. i'm not creative especially when it comes to usernames).

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

i have two other sideblogs. @tuseryoo for all of the gifs i make so i can have all of them in one blog just because, so i feel like i'm not losing track of the things i create (even though i haven't updated that one in a while), and @captain-xandis that some moots might have noticed in their notifications bc i recently created that one to post gifs about critical role, but i always forget to check which blog appears on top of the thingy, so i'm constantly deleting and reblogging things in the right blog these days.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

as of july 3rd, i've been here for 11 years now, so since 2013? which tracks with my super strong k-pop phase tbh.

4. do you have a queue tag?

nah, i have a queue going for gifs that are requests or for episodes that already aired, but usually i just post things whenever.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

ha, i was into super junior. and i was experimenting with fandom for the first time at the time. that's it. i felt like tumblr was a lot more creative and pretty than twitter or facebook, so i stayed.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

i am a mook defender and apologist. i also think aya is super cute and super pretty. i change icons so often though, i blame all the pretty women in qls these days for making me change it all the time.

7. why did you choose your header?

i am breathing and living for the heart killers and kantbison and unfortunately i'm dying from lack of content. the tattoo table kiss is going to change lives i think, so until we don't get the official version, i'll have this masterpiece displayed there somehow.

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

as of now, it's a 23.5 official trailer gifset of sun being jealous of ongsa with amazing 939 notes, but the gifset of lada protecting earn from hitting her head on the table is quickly catching up with 877.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

17 mutuals? i think that's right.

10. how many followers do you have?

843 if you count the main blog + side-blogs.

11. how many people do you follow?

... 27 blogs.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

i mean, sure? i do get embarrassed by my own shitposts sometimes and i delete them tho.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

all the time. it's my favorite social media for sure. i get to see pretty things and my dash is much better curated than other apps. it's great.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

i don't think i ever fought online. i block people with remarkable expedience tbh if i don't like their vibe or their tone or the shit they post, and i also make use of the filtered tags, so you know, no reason to fight.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts

these exist? good for them. you shouldn't tell people what to do.

16. do you like tag games?

sure! i only started being part of them now, so sometimes i forget them, or i just don't see i was tagged, but i do enjoy them.

17. do you like ask games?

i don't think i've ever done an ask game but that's mainly bc i think people won't want to know and won't send any asks, and i'd rather spare my ego from that humiliation.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i think many of my mutuals are famous in our ql bubble which makes it a little crazy that some are my mutuals tbh. that's most of them actually.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

i do have people that make me kick my feet when they interact with my posts like, twirling my hair, silly smile, giggling because they've noticed me. but actually crushing, imagining our lives in the countryside, with a kitchen facing the meadow in a fine spring morning, with two dogs and three cats, no.

20. tags?

i'm tagging @namtanfilm, @aylinaliens, @sollucets and @sherrymagic, @ayansukkhaphisit and whoever feels like doing it, and to those i've tagged, just ignore this if you want, too, no pressure.

[seabirdtxt]

Hi, I’m Bird. welcome to my sideblog! i hope you have a good time :) thanks for reading! 🩵

Ask box is: On hold

WIP tracker

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Rules & TOS:

- I am using this blog as a place to put my self-indulgent fandom fics. i don't proofread or beta my stuff so if i make typos no i didn't 🫡

- blank blogs please do not +follow! i will assume you are a bot and block/softblock you. You can remain empty/anon as long as you have some profile customization and maybe a post/reblog or two

- you can send asks/requests and i'll tackle 'em asap but please don't expect too much of the social aspect from me, i struggle with socialization like a feral cat

- i write reader fics. this means: gender neutral, no physical description/indicators, no gender-biased nicknames clothes or scenarios, you/yours and they/them pronouns only.

- do not call my Reader she/her, or any fem-aligned nicknames. im dead serious, this is a ‘block on sight’ thing, it kicks up my dysphoria and it's the same reason i won't read fem!reader fics. i won't block for the first time, but if you commented on something or sent an ask/request and I deleted/didn't respond, this is probably why. I'm giving y'all the benefit of the doubt that maybe you didn't check my page first though! but continued behavior will earn a block .

- i’m not holding a taglist atm, you either perceive me or don't. (if i ever write smth longer that warrants a taglist i’ll be sure to mention it!)

- no bigotry or discrimination allowed, please use your good judgement when consuming media, etc. there will be no bitchin in my kitchen!

- no reposting, copying, or heavily referencing! plaigarism is the 8th cardinal sin 😊 yes this includes feeding my writing to AI. don't do it.

- re: above ^ making stuff inspired by/expanding on concepts is totally fine though! i'm inviting everyone to come play in my sandbox :3c if you do, please tag me! i'd love to see and rb from you 🥰 (AI is still 100% off the table though)

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Request Rules:

currently in genshin/sagau fandom so mostly stick to those themes please! (and do let me know if you want canon or other AU settings! otherwise i'll assume sagau)

i won't do crossovers sorry! i'm not too knowledgeable on many other media or fandoms and i'd rather not butcher something im not familiar with!

willing to write both platonic and romantic! (specific character romance with the male characters only, sorry, but platonic is free game!)

i write kinda slow tbh, so please don't send me anything that is time sensitive or has a deadline bc i probably won't make it in time :')

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General Tags:

Writing -> #seabird.txt

Doodles -> #seabird.png

Asks/replies -> #seabird.inbox

Personal -> #seabird.exe

Reblogs -> #seabird.rb

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Masterlist below the cut:

Glitch in Irminsul AU

SAGAU setting, where the Irminsul tree behaves like a GIT repository, and the Creator's arrival accidentally merged old branches into the current data.

Blog Tag - [p1] [p2] [p3] [p4] [p5]

[hc1]

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Bloodletting AU

SAGAU cult au, the Creator descends to Teyvat with no obvious godly powers and is rejected by the acolytes, until it's discovered that their golden blood has strength-enhancing properties.

Blog Tag - [p1] [p2]

[rb1] [rb2]

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Voice of God AU

SAGAU cult au, set pre-isekai. The Shouki no Kami is powered up and connected to Scaramouche, who then experiences a sudden jarring connection to the Creator.

Blog Tag - [p1] [p2] [p3]

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Wish Upon series

Stardust AU, canon setting. Wanderer tries to catch a fallen star to get a blessing from Celestia and obtain a heart. Instead, he gets you.

Blog tag - [p1]

Misc. fics

Not aligned to any specific AU or series!

[200 Follower Event tag]

[Creator!Reader and Cyno's bad jokes] [dollmaker!Reader and the scara gang]

🔞 [18+ tag] 🔞

[vines-of-mine]

Intro post/Pinned

First and Foremost: THIS IS NOT AN RP BLOG. This is a fictionkin blog! Please be aware of that and be respectful. I'm happy to be kind to those with good-faith questions (even the "dumb" ones) but please be kind in turn.

This is a sideblog of mine that I made to talk about my fictionkinity alone, so I'll only be going by the name Alhaitham on this blog. I use he/it pronouns, and I'm 21. I'm auDHD, so please be aware of that. I don't plan to mention my other kintype here much, but my only other kintype is an oceanic dragon. (if you want my other blog bc you're a similar kintype or smth, feel free to DM me. I'm not keeping this blog hidden perse, just separate.)

I am Alhaitham. I am also a Seelie. These kintypes are not separated, to be clear; in my canon I was a Seelie descendant, which in my case made a full-blooded Seelie. I'm very far from Genshin's canon, in many ways. I plan to use this blog as a place to talk about my experiences as a fictionkin, from the beginning. I've only known this part of myself for a few days as of making this blog. Questions aren't just accepted but encouraged, send me as many asks as you'd like! This blog is for journaling about my fictionkinity and discovering this part of myself more, so I'm open to being asked things I may not even know yet about my identity. (Or, hell, whatever else you'd want to ask about.) "Doubles" (other Alhaitham fictionkin) can absolutely interact and I'd be happy to chat as long as you're kind.

My interests include: Writing, Genshin Impact (duh,) Sky COTL, reading, horror as a genre but I'm so picky about it that it's nearly impossible to navigate, witchcraft, arts and crafts type shit of various flavors (this does not mean I'm good at it,) Minecraft. Definitely lots of others that I'm forgetting.

DNI: I know DNI's are pointless, but this is more to let you know my stance on things than anything. Basic criteria, just have basic kindness and respect and I don't have a problem. The only thing I think outside of that is that antishippers/anti's, while I don't hate them, would probably hate me since I think that I'm technically proship. That doesn't mean don't interact, just don't harass me. Honestly I'm still not clear on what the whole debate is I've just been told that I count as proship because of my views on fandom etiquette. Be nice, I block freely, that's all.

I intend for this blog to be safe for everyone who isn't hurting someone. Let me know if something I post needs tagged!

[khaoray]

tag game!

i was tagged by @thitiponqs, thank you mona <333

1. why did you choose your url?

sometimes a character/actor combo takes over your entire brain and you all saw how insane khaotung playing ray made me

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

this IS the sideblog beloveds as much as i wish i could make it my main but also @mqjima as it's my gaming blog

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

2011. i accidentally deleted my first blog so this one has 'only' existed since like 2014

4. do you have a queue tag?

'i'll take queue to the moon' it's a play on a jonghyun lyric :)))

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i'll be real with you i do NOT remember

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

poom is the most beautiful man in the entire world

7. why did you choose your header?

sandray own me heart and soul

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

it's this one. baby numbers really but alas.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i have no idea and wouldn't know how to check bc this is a sideblog. if we're both sideblogs they cancel each other out and just say following lmao

10. how many followers do you have?

i have been stuck at 1.8k for like 6 months please i long to reach my next milestone

11. how many people do you follow?

i recently went on a clean out so 142

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

this entire blog was built on gifsets and shitposts it's a core part of my identity.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

if i'm awake, i'm probably here dkshkasjdh <- REAL AND TRUE MONA!!! (if i'm at work it's a lot less hurray 12 hour work days <3)

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

no, but i did once have an army camped in my mentions for like a week bc i said i disliked their music one time that was fun

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts

if they're in relation to supporting artists on this site and just generally mentioning that you should reblog more then i agree with them. if they're a direct call to action then i think they're stupid <3

16. do you like tag games?

yes bc it means people remember i exist and i am in constant need to validation asdfghj

17. do you like ask games?

generally speaking yes

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i mean with 13k followers i'd say you are mona lmao. but honestly most of my mutuals feel famous To Me but maybe that's just bc of the circles i run in?

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

no but seeing @markpakin in my notes always lifts my mood bc i know they're about to say the most insanely complimentary shit imaginable to me rin's talents are truly to be admired 😘😘

20. tags?

i don't know who hasn't been tagged at this point lmaooo but if you haven't and you want to then go ahead and use this as your excuse!!!

[cbk1000]

hi there the book of merthur is one of my favorite fics and i have a question about it, i hope this is the right place to ask and you don't have a writing sideblog or anything?

I'm such a fan of The Mums from the book of merthur, but i'm curious what made you decide to keep Igraine alive? was it for any particular reason for a plot? spite against the BBC for fridging her before the story even started? Just bc you wanted to make A Mum and unleash her on the story with a cooking ladle and a lot of anger to get out? Not that I'm complaining, she and Hunith are a terrifying force to reckon with and a point of hilarity across the book. But i haven't read a lot of fics where Igraine lives, and even fewer where she has a major effect on the story as your Igraine does. definitely an underrepresented character with a ton of potential!

As soon as i started reading your fic (many months ago) i could tell you're knowledgeable in the Arthuriana, and as i've been making my own fic and doing research about the Arthuriana, I learned that the more popular spelling of her name is Igraine and not Ygraine (and let me tell you, it's been a bastard trying not to confuse the names Ygraine and Yvaine in my fic), and so i also wondered if you had any deeper Arthurian reason for choosing to spell her name Igraine instead of Ygraine or was it just easier on the writing/reading? (I personally repeatedly mistype BBC's Gwaine as Gawain cause that was the first spelling of his name i became familiar with, also an incredibly annoying mistake of mine.)

Thanks in advance for answering (though take your time doing so!) and i hope you're having a fantastic day!

This is my only blog, so this is the right place to ask! Also, thank you for asking; I rarely get questions about inspirations/thought processes and I love talking shop about writing. I'm going to put this under a cut because, surprise, someone who wrote a 600k+ fic is long-winded. lmao

It's been four years since I started the fic, and the pandemic has turned that into about 84, so I can't remember exactly what pushed me to keep Igraine alive, but the first chapter was inspired by a version of the folktale St. George and the Dragon (sometimes also called St. George of Merrie England) that I read shortly before deciding I wasn't done trying to purge myself of BBC Merlin. The image of an enchantress carrying babies away to a cave in the woods piqued my interest, and that segued into me deciding to make Arthur one of those babies. While there are loads of versions of Arthurian stories, most of them show Arthur's conception as happening through Igraine becoming pregnant by Uther after he uses magic to trick her into thinking he is her husband, which is real gross and rapey of him, so I think probably what sparked the initial idea to have Igraine live was that I wanted to play that out a bit and show the repercussions of it and how Arthur was an innocent who obviously was not at fault whatsoever for what happened--but he was still the product of rape and a part of Uther, a man Igraine despised. And of course you can't explore a mother/son relationship that complicated if the mother is dead.

Also, BBC Merlin is a total sausage fest and, quite frankly, I think the writing for all the women was TERRIBLE, so part of it was also just me wanting more women in the story who felt like actual complicated humans and not one-note villains or love interests. Hunith and Igraine are both middle-aged, and I liked the idea of giving them a bit of space and a voice in the type of story that's generally about dashing young people running around swinging swords and getting rescued from towers.

As for the spelling, if I remember correctly, in the first canon era fic I wrote, I did actually spell it as Ygraine, so I've used both spellings in my work. But honestly, I chose Igraine this time around because I knew it would come up a lot more and it's just easier for my English-speaking brain to remember. There are multiple, slightly tweaked versions of many of the characters, and spellings and even names change slightly depending upon the source (Morgana is a good example of this), so if a character is going to be a recurring one in any of my stories, I go with whatever is going to be easiest on my brain. (And yes, Gwaine/Gawaine is annoying; I think we've all made that mistake.) I have done a LOT of reading on various Arthurian texts, so usually there is a more specific reason for something and a particular source of inspiration, but in this case it's really just, 'There are eight million variations of spelling for this, I'm going with the one that's easiest to remember in a 600k story where I already have to keep track of a billion things.'

Also, I want you to know that the bookmark note you left on Book of Merthur referring to a 'wet sock of a gay person' made me laugh, and I still think about it randomly and laugh about it. lmao

[goretzkastits]

I understand that so well 😭 but if I like them and we have a lot in common I usually just filter tags. I don't mind some f1 drivers on my dashboard but I don't need to see aaall the commentary (or kpop or anime etc)

The thing is, I don't want filtered tags on my dash. When some of my mutuals that I already had started posting about those things my dash was 80% filtered posts and it made me not wanna use tumblr at all so I'm glad some of them made side blogs. And like. This was never an issue in the past. Before I made this blog literally the only filtered tag i had for years was game of thrones ahsjdkdk bc I was mainly still just following people from "old tumblr" so there was no need for filtered tags. Personally, I always make a side blog when I feel like a specific thing is "taking over" my main blog and I've always had a great experience with that all those years. And yeah idk if I see that a thing is taking over someone elses blog and I basically only see filtered posts at that point I just... have to unfollow. And that's why I just don't follow many people from the football bubble back in the first place bc they already have f1 also in their bio for example. I'm not saying people NEED to make sideblogs, but yeah tumblr is something you need to curate for yourself and it was easier when sideblogs were more common.

[be-good-be-safe-be-kind]

all we can do is try

apologies to op, hopefully the read more will shorten the notification but if not, sorry again for the wall of text. also thanks again to op for their brilliant commentary and setting up room for discussion about moon knight. fun fact, this sideblog was started initially for reading about mental health and taking notes (rip to the lack of 📚 tag posts which also has too many half-assed drafts), and then maybe doing the same for other media. life happened and that plan went out the window; super grateful and appreciative that other people have rebloggable posts and hope they don't mind the rambles. echoing the statement that everyone's experiences are different and their interpretations/perspectives are going to vary, and that's absolutely fine.

starting with wendy, even before randall's death, and there's not much shown on screen except the immediate time before it, the 'remember, look out for your brother' line reads as her putting her responsibilities onto marc. it's not uncommon for older siblings to be given responsibility over the younger ones, but combine this line with wendy's reactions to the aftermath and there's something bigger at play. marc was kinda the first pancake, the trial run, and randall was her baby. as op pointed out, marc watched his brother die and was close to death himself, and no one addresses it - aside from wendy, to place the blame. arguably, there's the reasoning of it being a flashback, a memory, something from little marc's (and steven's) pov, so things are bound to be murky. even with that, there's a grieving mother, a father who seems too shocked or too occupied with trying to calm her than to grieve, and an eerily quiet shiva house.

maybe it's a cultural difference between the shivas i've sat and visited, maybe no one wanted to bring their children to it so there's only the rabbi and other adults (relatives, maybe), but there's something off-putting and too adult about the whole thing, if that makes sense. covering the reflective surfaces and pictures is customary, and a shiva is obviously somber, but there tends to be aspects of community and conversation beyond sitting in the same room. there's recounting of memories and comfort in recalling the deceased's life, rather than total mourning of their loss. loud outbursts of sorrow or laughter aren't uncommon, and the blame game gets played around anyone's death, but wendy's accusation, scaring marc away, and no one interfering at any point? does the rabbi already know something about the spectors and their home life? is he there to say his piece, keep the peace, then leave? 

[typing ^ sparked a relevant memory of the earliest shiva i can remember. being 9, looking out for my little siblings, while parents and grandparents fought over the logistics of where it should be held. a couple rabbis involved, since parents already were attending separate shuls and seeking counsel for a get. the adults all seemed to know things about each other that were meant to stay buried, maybe at least until the get was given? whatever. all this to say that it isn't improbable wendy's neglect, elias's 'neutrality,' marc's developing and worsening issues were being pushed aside / overlooked / willingly ignored]

marc receives mixed signals, because while elias is dismissing wendy's alcoholism and abuse as 'just sadness' and not marc's fault, she's clearly drinking and berating him at every possible moment. there's no way elias doesn't see it, but who is marc supposed to believe? his soft-spoken father, telling him that everything is fine? his spiteful mother, telling him that he should be dead and everything would be fine if his brother was there instead? 

no wonder steven started showing up, blocking out time for marc. no wonder the reverse as well, and possibly jake making some appearances (sticking mostly with the series for now bc there is a lot to unpack in the comics). marc couldn't tell his father what he wouldn't want to hear anyway, and steven didn't really have a relationship with elias at all, only remembering wendy as a kind mother. of course, marc's and steven's behaviors are almost opposites at some point, so anything their parents said about their son could be twisted to fit whatever narrative they wanted. if wendy were to say to elias that yeah, she beat marc because he deserved it, chances are whichever kid was fronting at the time agreed and elias could hear the cries anyway. it's possible the kid dissociated to the point of disconnect from the body where saying anything to make the pain over sooner, and after would have no idea why he's sore or worn out but he just is, and there's no point mentioning it because it's nothing.

so the kid can't say anything about the bruises and scars because what's there to say, but they exist, and kids will be kids and fight each other anyway. maybe marc would provoke a kid, get into a fight he could win, and feel better for a while. maybe a kid would provoke marc, making comments about his dead brother or his mother who doesn't leave the house or his father who won't leave her. maybe steven or jake would switch in for a while, adding to what the adults at school or shul or wherever would chalk it all up to behavioral issues that no one wants to address.

seconding op's headcanon of marc having little memory of these years, and possibly having a breakdown, whether it was at a facility or not. pulling in from some comics, it would track that elias and wendy's idea of a compromise would be to put marc somewhere 'for his own good' and/or their reputation/standing in the community. [it's what the parents here did, and that turned out... well, not well.] sorta on board with this being a jake time, based on the way he's able to keep himself away from or is forcibly separated from the rest of the system. my general jake headcanon is he has no sense of personal discomfort, but he has boundaries, like he might know something pings off his moral radar or personal sensibilities, but shit needs doing so he does it. headcanon for jake in the series is the same, except he's unaware or unaccepting of being part of a system.

going into the military aspect of it all, yeah, that might be a jake time. pushing through doubts because this is a job and it needs doing and he knows how to do it so he will. either way, regardless of who was there, besides for the routine and structure being something to ground him, there's basically an open invitation to mask - following the same orders as the people around him, mirroring their commander's movements, channeling anger into justice or passion or whatever gets people going, etc. 

the ptsd from before his time in the military kicking in once he's there makes sense, especially with marc's specific trauma. the focus on camaraderie, sharing bunks and barracks with 'brothers,' the message of 'look out for them' hammered into his head day and night, the disciplinary actions, meals at specific times and only for sustenance (headcanon that marc used to ration food away for the times he couldn't sit and bear being at family dinners/elias would be busy and wendy rationalized that the kid didn't deserve food), etc. these negative triggers for marc might be positive triggers for steven, based on his curiosity and the way he's drawn in to people. he might be delighted to find himself in basic training (the obstacle course sort, nothing combat related) or doing surveillance somewhere, like it's all he's read about and imagined and it's real. and also terrifying and he'd flip out to find himself holding a weapon, which is where marc and/or jake would intervene, and there's only so many times the cycle can happen before he wanders into a minefield and gets dishonorably discharged.

becoming a mercenary was like an attempt at self-discipline, like marc telling himself he's able to fight, he can, but the army was holding him back or there's more privacy going… well, private. and then khonshu shows up and there's a larger-than-life father figure, a tangible god or bizarre visual hallucination, and what's a jewish boy with family related trauma, whose memories of judaism seem to end with a shiva, going to do with that?

there is something uniquely terrible about the show's version of khonshu which iirc isn't in the comics - this khonshu initially targets marc because of his mind, plays the savior card multiple times, brings up other avatars and members of the pantheon, treats steven like shit, walks over marc, and keeps his knowledge of the system to himself, weaponising parts against each other. he knows about steven and jake, and he or marc or some combination work out a way of keeping moon knight from them, but once khonshu talks to steven without marc there, once khonshu has verbal confirmation that these guys are as messed up as he assumed, he gives himself a free pass to isolate and use jake. whereas khonshu refers to jake as his friend, it's unclear if jake actually sees/interacts with khonshu, or if only harrow did, but someone had to loop jake into the whole harrow situation.

anyway. back to steven, the best gift shoppist in the world, who really should have had a better job and not been dismissed with a pamphlet after the bathroom incident. putting aside the logistics of steven having valid identification and housing in london, he clearly is qualified for a position involving actual egyptian history, but he's earnest and that, for some reason, is off-putting to people. adults with jobs who just show up because they have to, not because they want to, so anyone who talks and talks about the work is shoved aside because they don't want to hear it. 

as an aside to steven's energy being likened to a child, besides for the angle of him being genuinely passionate about his interests and in the perfect environment for talking about them, there is an angle of timing and age. not that steven is a child, but that he's sort of always been one in the similar sense that marc's sort of always been an adult. marc's got duties, steven's got hobbies. marc follows or disobeys orders, steven chooses what he wants to do. marc was socialised to be a certain way, and steven seems to have been socialised secondhand. also in terms of lived experience, besides for the formative years being marc's, he's told steven before that he had a handle on being in control most of the time, and not like that stunts steven's growth but like steven is kinda like the younger brother. which isn't to say he's replaced randall or he's naive, far from it, but just that he tends to be perceived that way.

making him hand in his name badge, which his coworkers ignored, and giving him a brochure is just the company covering their ass. it's a sigh of relief from donna that steven's not gonna be pestering her about displays and layouts, not gonna be wandering around and talking with patrons while he's on break, even though that's his own time. there's no follow-up from anyone once he's fired; the guy firing him listens to steven's response that him not being alone is kinda the problem, and doesn't stop to unpack that and maybe put it together with the security guard's account that steven said it wasn't him on the footage. 

the statue (possibly a crawley of sorts) being an excellent statue and listener is bittersweet. he doesn't break character, and maybe even is a little glad for the interaction, since steven talking to him does seem to bring in more visitors which means more tips and photos. i wonder if they ever hung out after work, the painted man talking to steven, who would hang on his every word and ask questions about how he got into being a statue, what does the paint feel like, how do you stay still and does your mind race because i can't stop thinking and can't sleep. 

harrow calling steven broken feels like another slap in the face, another person shitting on steven for living differently than they do. okay, so he tapes his door and cuffs his leg to the bed, does puzzles and reads books to try sleeping, calls his mum every day, and talks to his pet fish. he panicked when the bathroom was trashed, which is a fairly reasonable reaction, but he's not broken. the assumption that harrow makes, of marc being more capable or in control or at least not being jumpscared by the real life mythology of it all, really is another nail in the coffin for marc. or a hammer prying it open, because in marc's mind he was supposed to keep the khonshu bullshit away from steven, to make sure steven had his flat full of books and a life he would feel safe with. 

even before harrow humiliates marc in the pyramid, he backs steven into a corner and tries to force marc or moon knight out to get the scarab. harrow tries to play the role of a mentor, a savior, someone who is just trying to help for his own good, but it doesn't work. steven's seen who harrow really is, what he really wants, and it's not to help anyone other than himself. his actions in the pyramid drive that point home, using marc's insecurities against him, which for some reason works for the pantheon despite harrow's past involvement with khonshu. 

at least as moon knight, marc has control over his body. khonshu destroys it within a couple minutes in the pyramid, straining like he's trying to escape marc's skin. put the past aside for a second, of khonshu first finding marc in the temple, of hearing those words from other people, in front of other people whose opinions mattered, the physical sensation of it is hell.

[the pyramid scene breaks me. they're still dealing with being back in egypt, trying to keep layla safe, trying to keep each other safe, on top of everything else. and suddenly they're in this ancient room with other avatars, so either it's the hallucination of a lifetime or audiovisual confirmation of moon knight being more than an independent vigilante with his own personal brand of justice, and that's a whole thing. and then the thing kept secret and hidden from everyone, from parts of himself, spills out to these powerful strangers, and it's like being a powerless kid again. criticism echoing off the walls, being towered over, doubting everything and maybe starting to believe they're right.]

people don't give steven enough credit here for sticking around. maybe because of the childish aspect, the weird accent, the 'well he's not the original' thing that some people still can't grasp as not being how this works. maybe because marc was the military man, the merc, the moon knight, and steven's a bookworm with a pet fish, and clearly that means he's incapable of being assertive or anything remotely marc-like. 

the comics tend to at least try making a point that the distinctions doesn't negate any similarities or traits that are innately part of them (whether or not the point is well-executed is another matter). sometimes the older issues and outdated terminology can be overlooked for the rest of the portrayal, sometimes the newer ones just toss in the words and the rest of the story contradicts them because surprise, words have meanings. 

whether or not moon knight's 'looney' traits are because of his past or a god or whatever in-universe explanation, he's still the punchline or punching bag, an easy target for other vigilantes or villains, as if their own brands of crazy don't exist. there's a particular run where some baddie called the profiler can't get a read on jake because he's not just jake, and that was kinda cool, but also that's part of one of the cutting off bushman's face thing and fighting people who were broken out of an asylum, so… yeah. there's a lot of ways to play around with these characters and somehow the decision usually boils down to 'how can we make him crazier this time' with an emphasis on just going wild as opposed to like, what that means for moon knight. there's a whole thing with a shadow cabinet and keeping spectorcorp and grant's businesses public while lockley sticks to the civilian / street level side of things. there's a lot of self-deprecation and doubt and so much to work with, which sometimes gets dismissed as just part of whatever his deal is, like 'oh he's just [diagnosis here] so he does [thing]' but it doesn't go anywhere.

like op pointed out, marc acknowledging and/or exploring what those things mean take the edge away from what the assumed reason the audience wants to follow his story. like he'd just be marvel's batman if he had a better grip of his health, as if batman isn't the king of compartmentalization and an unhealthy relationship to himself, even in the storylines where he doesn't intentionally create backup personalities for himself (his words, not mine, long story). the writers or execs or some combo like to have fakeouts, like marc goes to therapy but the therapist isn't really a therapist. they finally manage to describe dissociative identity disorder to their daughter, but use the 'power of being fucking crazy' to deal with the sun king and also what the hell, that entire run has too much to try unpacking now. point being that yeah, this guy's got a ton of potential, already has plenty of relatable and/or intriguing things going on, so what's the deal with the way he's been written? 

as for the show, yeah, couple years late responding but still no diab cut. that would've been nice, but there is something to be said for the show ending on a note. despite the otherworldly elements, or because of them being so big but not part of most peoples' lives, it feels grounded. it closes the way it opens, with a bit more optimism or at least an understanding/explanation of the sleeping situation. it starts with loss, marc with layla and steven with his mum, even though they don't really see it that way or know it at the time, and ends with reconciliation and gaining a new family member. there's a system in place, people in their lives to help them navigate a post-khonshu life as moon knight or not, to commiserate with about unemployment and other major life situations, and it may not be great but it does have the 'good as it's gonna get' feeling, and that's gotta count for something, right?

Oh no. I’m back. And I didn’t shut up for 9 pages. I’m sorry. 

Moon Knight. A commentary on mental illness and able-ism? 

I’m not going to dive into the comics because we have…..YEARS of content to unpack there with every single writer. But I am going to brush on it just a little. This is going to be mostly about the show. 

I’m going to preface this by saying that everyone’s experience in anything is going to be different. We are, after all, individuals. You can give the same diagnosis to five different people, and while they will have some overlapping similarities, they will all experience it differently. Honestly, the same goes for any type of handicap, mental illness, religion, autism, or any sort of neurodivergent person. Which is both wonderful and oftentimes frustrating. One person can point at something and scream how wrong it is and toxic, while another will point and say “I feel seen! At last!” We just have to keep in mind that maybe both perspectives are right. Which is hard to do, but all we can do is try. 

Keep reading

[duunswitch]

puts water gun at you 10-15 go !!!!

put that away????

if you play original muses with canon roots  ( like oc siblings, coworkers, etc. )  or someone who’s been either just a name or a few lines of dialogue in canon, how do you build that character? do you pick the muse first and build from there, or do you need have the muse ready in your head and only then pick the connection, or a combination of the two?

So to start: I don't pick my muses, they pick me lmfao. I'll feel a spark or whatever you wanna call it, when the muse just kinda moves in whether I like it or not and then I start building. A combination is probably closest to how I do things.

I rarely play OCs related to canon characters, unless they're specifically plotted with a mun (usually a friend) who plays the related canon(s) so the process typically involves talking to the other person and building said ocs together. a good example are the fanchildren for my xiv wol Lumianne and Elidibus that I have with tick's Elidibus blog and we created them together as an indulgence after the children meme we both reblogged lmao. (let this be a warning to anyone who sends me child of our muses memes; if you indicate interest in the resulting children i WILL hand them to u as full fledged muses)

As for the latter, I love characters like that who are basically a blank page even in canon and those I typically ratgrab and then run wild with. There's no real process to turning a blank slate canon character into my own, tbh; I'm more of a "build on the fly" kinda person. I write a character and let them build themselves. I work best when I'm bouncing off of other characters in an organic fashion, rather than building them up and then setting them free in a sterile environment. I'm very character and interaction driven here, rather than plot. So I'm always in the process of building a character, even when they're mostly done.

have you ever built or picked up a muse because you wanted to use a certain faceclaim? how did it go?

Max already existed but only as a background character that was name dropped but never seen, but I had some icons in my Folder Of Many Icons so I decided to bring him around as a guest muse (before giving him a perma place on the multimuse lore sideblog) bc I wanted to use those icons lmao

what’s the weirdest thing that has ever inspired you to make or pick up a muse?

*thinks about this for awhile* I know there's something, but I can't think of any right now tbh lmao.

wait no, i lied - for a short while in the transformers fandom i had a very silly sideblog that existed solely to roleplay as a random buffalo stranded on a robot space ship. i don't remember what inspired it, and it didn't last long but it was entertaining for me and everyone i threw it at

have you ever not gone through with playing / adding / making a blog for a muse because you’ve feared no one would care about that specific muse?

*gestures to literally every muse in my brain that exists but which does not have a blog*

if you see that a friend of yours has just made a blog for a muse you were planning to play, will you still make the blog?

depends on the muse tbh; shenanigans are really fun so if that's an option I will generally take it and I'm not against doubles in general. I have multiple trigun blogs and i interact with doubles on said blogs all the time so it's not an issue for me unless it's a muse i haven't solidified yet and want to avoid accidentally stealing headcanons while they're still forming.

which muses of yours have currently very dead fandoms?

i don't think any have really dead fandoms so much as small, very lightly populated ones? the ones that do come to mind are also muses i no longer roleplay tho, or else they were dead-ish fandoms but recently came back to life

[justsomeoneunordinary]

the reason why i reblog so much from myself recently is bc abt a month ago i got so fucking angry with the lack of reblogs on this site that i said fuck it i'll go back through my archive and bring back things i find either underapreciated and/or just want to see on my dash again by queuing this all up

and then i happened to get quite some new followers and thought hey perfect now these amazing creative works will get to do the rounds. but oh how naive i was! so many of y'all only like and don't reblog or cherry pick what you reblog! what the fuck is the point in that

the haku and zabuza art piece is currently doing rounds on my dash bc ONE person reblogged it from me and then others rb from them. this is how the site is supposed to work!!!!

the things you like from me? you only get to see them bc i reblogged them in the first place!!!

i am THIS 🤏 fucking close to just block everyone who doesn't reblog and softblock those who cherry pick what they reblog

you don't have followers? i don't care, reblog. it doesn't fit your blog? i don't care, make a sideblog and reblog there. either you like it and then you also reblog it. or you don't like it in which case why would you click on the heart?? scroll past it

it's not that difficult of a concept actually

[sugisyakult]

thank you for tagging me my love 🫶🏻 okay here we go!

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

1. why did you choose your url? bc i love shinsuke from gintama so so much and i think sugi is a cute nickname for him and he loves yakult so here we are!

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. nope, this is the only one i have.

3. how long have you been on tumblr? uuuh i think since like 2012/2013.

4. do you have a queue tag? ngl to you, i don’t know what this mean lmfaoo

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? it was this big thing back in middle school and all my friends had one and they wanted me to get one as well.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? he is the loml and he looks so ethereal in it!!!

7. why did you choose your header? it matches the icon and it’s the iconic boat scene

8. what’s your post with the most notes? the video of the fight between gintoki and jirocho

9. how many mutuals do you have? um i’m not really sure actually

10. how many followers do you have? 95

11. how many people do you follow? 99

12. have you ever made a shitpost? probably, who knows

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? only for a couple of minutes

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? nope!

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? i’m not sure i’ve come across those?? i probably have, i just don’t pay attention

16. do you like tag games? yes :3

17. do you like ask games? idk… i don’t think ive ever participated in one

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? probably @lilac-5ky

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? nope!

20. what is the last song you listened to? supermassive black hole - muse

21. what are you currently watching? i’m rewatching gintama and i just started interview with the vampire! also watching weekly ep releases of nier anime

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? i think i love both sweet and savory equally, it just depends on the day. i’m okay with certain spicy things, but too much and i automatically don’t like.

23. what is your current relationship status? single! 24 years strong, baby! 😭

24. what is your current obsession? gintama and honkai star rail!

25. what are nine albums/ songs you’ve been listening to lately?

all fiona apple albums/songs

brat - charli xcx

lucky - halsey

vertigo - beach bunny

don’t fade away - beach fossils

joyride - kesha

MEGAN - megan thee stallion

the rise and fall of a midwest princess - chappell roan

she knows it - maggie lindemann

@lilac-5ky @sebfreak @averagelonelypotato (only if you guys want to!!!)

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

(thank you for the tag @lianhuajing !!)

1. why did you choose your url? uh. it was a play on "rose tinted glasses"

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. nope!

3. how long have you been on tumblr? I think 2022? i knew about it before, just never bothered to make a blog

4. do you have a queue tag? don't kill me, what's a queue tag?

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? I had some Thoughts about Blue Lock and wanted to post meta for it

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? uhh Flora.

7. why did you choose your header? Reo is one of my Blorbos and I just really liked that panel of him

8. what’s your post with the most notes? probably the "do you download fics" poll

9. how many mutuals do you have? about 20? i don't remember

10. how many followers do you have? 120?

11. how many people do you follow? 91

12. have you ever made a shitpost? yes. i think.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? an hour?

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? nope

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts meh. some of them are funny i guess

16. do you like tag games? yep! it's nice interaction

17. do you like ask games? i do! but uh. it's a silent empty void here. an echo chamber, if you will.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? i have no idea but i see @kingsandbastardz a lot in the mlc community

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? nope

20. what is the last song you listened to? 若梦 by 周深

21. what are you currently watching? i just finished The Double! probably starting on Dashing Youth next

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? savoury!

23. what is your current relationship status? single

24. what is your current obsession? The Double,,,,

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

若梦 by 周深

如故 by 张碧晨

如初 by 张碧晨

借过一下 by 周深

万物不如你 by 张杰

Our dawn is hotter than day by Seventeen

Hitorijana by Seventeen

my music taste is kinda...i tend to stick to a few artists...

26. tagging (no obligation to do this!) @randomingoftherandomness @good-vs-evo @chrysofightme @bbcphile

[neversetyoufree]

Considering doing something really stupid right now

[soulrph]

I'm so happy to have your blog on my dash it has shown me that I'm not the only one struggling in the rpc. I feel like the rpc has fallen into a coma, people are so wrapped up in their own bubbles that they don't interact with each other anymore (it seems) like I'm so frustrated with tumblr at this point, I'm so sorry I just don't know what to do, it's really disheartening to have like 1k followers, writing an rp blog but no matter what you do, no one sends anything at all, no asks, no memes, no starters, nothing, it makes me sad and wonder if I have done something wrong? I checked the settings twice as to make sure asks are enabled and I try to regularly send the people on my dash things but now I'm questioning myself. Like why and how are so many people following me if it feels like they don't want to interact? Of course I know many of these are lurkers but not all? I'm so confused by this to be honest...

My Question is: Am I the only one who feels like that?

my lovely friend, let me tell you something. these feelings you’re having? we ALL have them at some point in our tumblr lives. it’s perfectly natural, there’s nothing wrong with them, much less with you for having them in the first place. you understand? i want to make that much clear before i continue, because i’m getting the impression that you might be trying to take on the blame and responsibility for other people’s actions, and that’s not close to being accurate, love, okay? you’re doing just fine! and now i’m going to go into a little detail on your message. but i don’t want you to read on unless you’re feeling solid and good about yourself again, because try as we might, we’re not responsible for other people. and you mentioned that you’re very active in your efforts to make people feel comfortable, so no. don’t go blaming yourself. you’re doing nothing wrong, my love, i promise.

NOW! i say as i slap my hands on my knees like a suburban dad in an american film! except not, bc my laptop’s there, but i digress. before i continue, i want to say that i’m only one person, my suggestions may not be applicable to you. if anyone reads this post, and would like to contribute their own suggestions, you’re all welcome to hop into the comments to help our lovely friend out! this is a sideblog, however, and i will not be able to interact with these comments directly!

the first thing that i’m going to say here is that 1,000 followers is a LOT of people. like that’s overwhelming to anyone, but i feel like it could also contribute to these feelings of isolation when you have a thousand people following you and nobody’s really reaching out. that’s why i would suggest that maybe you might feel better if you try and bring that number down? it’s like this; if you host a big party, realistically speaking, you won’t be able to invite a thousand guests. it’ll be next to impossible to have these intimate personal connections with one thousand individual people, right? but if we try, say, 500 people? instantly easier to handle, i think. personally i try to keep my own limit at 150 mutuals, because i’m oftentimes too tired and too stressed to handle the idea of much more than that, and it’s much fairer to 150 people than it is for 1000 people.  plus, those 150 people are far more likely to have solid friendships with me. i’m only one person, and so are you, and we can’t be pressuring ourselves into trying to interact with 1000 people!

in your case, this also applies. 1000 people is a LOT. if you bring the number down, perhaps then you can explain to people that you will be implementing a few changes in the way you do things. you want to plot with people. you want to develop solid relationships both OOC and IC. you also might find it useful to use an interest tracker or a permanent starter and plotting call, or a few open starters are also useful! 

i’m going to repeat something here. you are not responsible for other people’s actions. there are parts of the rpc that are withdrawing from the core purpose and values of the community, and the lack of interaction is a widespread challenge. it’s not their fault. it’s just something that’s happening. that being said, you can only control YOUR experience. which sounds powerless, but it’s actually entirely the opposite!

you can make that post and say what you expect to change in your blog. “i’ll be much more active in the rpc from now on, i’m here to make friends and write with like-minded people, and i’m going to be cleaning out my followers over the coming week. if you want to stay mutuals, please let me know, but i don’t want to stay mutuals unless we intend on building a solid friendship and writing together!”

you can obviously change the wording! be as nice or as blunt as you like! but try to be firm. your experiences of the dash are yours and yours alone. my suggestions might be worth nothing to you, and that’s more than okay too! but my earlier experience in the community was very much like yours in that i had about 500 mutuals, but it was so quiet and awkward that i may as well have had 0. it only changed when i brought the number down to 150, keeping my mutuals as people who i wanted to write with and befriend, and then posted a quick psa to let people know that i was planning on actually writing much more in the future, and i would be changing certain things in my blog to accommodate that.

you don’t have to do any of this, my love. you don’t have to soft block any followers, you don’t have to make a psa, you don’t have to do anything! my decisions came from a place when i was so frustrated by being stuck in the “nothingness”, or the “meh, idk, i don’t mind, idc” phase of the community, that i just decided to shift gears and change things. the way i see it, i could have 20,000 mute, withdrawn mutuals, but just one person who i genuinely loved to chat to and plot with and write with would outshine the lot of them! fortunately i found much more than just one person, though. and i know, i KNOW, you will too.