#but I just need to set the scene and get better at anatomy and expressions first

[primordialruin]

She is called the ruination of the world - when you have a perfectly ordered world that you question, the bricks just sorta start to fall unless you impose tyranny and do your best to silence the accuser (she is also called the accuser and also a quarrelsome woman, much like Satan/Lucifer is - this is from the sacred texts in the Zohar).

What does the Zohar also say? I'm paraphrasing, but it's along the lines of "she didn't run away from man, she was meant to be taken away from Adam and give Eve instead"

Vayikra: Verse 320

In ancient books, it has been said that LILIT fled from Adam before that, NAMELY BEFORE EVE WAS PREPARED. We did not understand it this way, because this female, LILIT, was with him. As long as this woman, EVE, was not made to be with Adam, LILIT was with him. When EVE was designed to be with him, LILIT fled to the sea, destined to harm the world.

Bereshit A: Verse 417

LILIT was not "a help to match him," as it is written, "but for the man there was not found a help to match him" (Ibid. 18). What does this mean? IT MEANS SHE WAS AN EVIL KLIPAH AND HE COULD NOT TRUST HER. SHE STAYED WITH HIM until that time, of which it is written: "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helpmate to match him" (Ibid.). FOR THEN SHE WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM HIM. Come and behold: Adam was the last BEING TO BE CREATED. Therefore, he had to come into the world as a complete being. THIS IS WHY LILIT HAD TO BE TAKEN AWAY FROM HIM AND EVE GIVEN TO HIM INSTEAD.

It's interesting that the sources contradict themselves, then again it was written by multiple rabies.

[theflyindutchwoman]

You were on the run from the cops -- a bank robbery gone wrong. You ended up in my building -- frantic, looking for a place to hide, and [breathes deeply] -- and I opened the door for you. I lied to the cops for you. And -- Ooh. And it got me so hot that we hooked up while they were still searching the building. Okay. That -- That -- That's pretty good, actually.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 4.22 - Day In The Hole

I could talk about this moment for hours… This scene is so rich, with many incredible moments, all different from the other… with Tim and Lucy running the gamut of emotions… This is such a game changer, a pivotal point that left them reeling and completely shifted their relationship.

Right from the start, there's this feeling of coziness and intimacy that is emanating from Lucy's apartment… All the dim lights and candles around them help create this warm atmosphere. Now, to be fair, this isn't the first time her home is lit this way : her living room was illuminated in a similar fashion when Nyla and Angela were at her place. Only here, with Tim, it's even more striking. And it definitely sets the mood… Maybe not for work, but then again, they didn't really need to create a back story for Dim and Juicy either : they simply could have asked the real Sava and Jake how they met to make sure their story would fit… They both went all-in for this op, using every opportunity to get closer...

The way they have to immediately bicker… They're just getting started and Tim is already complaining, offended that Lucy dares mocking his little meet-cute idea, and challenging her to do better. Which she does, turning the tables on him - and honestly, how did he not see that coming?! She thrives when under pressure and he knows that better than anyone. His facial expressions during that whole segment are absolutely amazing : he goes from annoyed to skeptical… from intrigued to completely gobsmacked, his jaw on the floor… And you will never convince me that he wasn't picturing her little scenario in that moment. As for Lucy… She looks so smug for breaking him! What makes this part even better is that, his suggestion to practice physical intimacy was something he was already contemplating - he didn't just suddenly thought about that… So it's no wonder his brain short-circuited after Lucy came up with this back story. And listen, if she created that story a little bit too fast, what does it say about Tim that his main concern was practicing displays of affection. I'm pretty sure that when Nyla and John went undercover as a couple, they never even thought about that. Their subconscious was being very loud...

Still, the way Tim is essentially reduced to a blubbering mess, stuttering and beating around the bush, is priceless. I don't think we have ever seen him this flustered before, even when random women were to hit on him while on the job. He's usually more unflappable, but here his discomfort is so evident that Lucy can't help but take advantage of it and play dumb. She is enjoying this way too much, showing him no mercy for a while and to be fair, I can't blame her : seeing him in this state is hilarious. But for all her bravado, once they get to the matter at hand, she is not fairing much better than him. She goes from mischievous to awkward in a beat… Both of them looking everywhere but at each other. Both waiting for a cue from the other… Until Lucy takes charge and put them out of their misery. I love how she clearly is the one who is more confident here - I think it was important : Tim is still technically her superior officer. This is a smart way to have them on more equal grounds, so to speak, while staying in-character. The way he's already puckering his lips before she starts giggling… He just wants to kiss her. And he is so done. Although who is he trying to fool with his 'we're professionals'? I seriously doubt this is part of their job description. Despite her awkwardness, Lucy is being so playful - her little routine to prepare herself is adorkable… and nervous. In light of how crushed she looked when she thought Tim was proposing to Ashley, it's understandable...

And it all leads to their very first kiss… Or first little peck, as the case may be. The contrast in their reaction is positively the best : it's how happy and proud he is for this, with his little head tilt and shrug, as if asking how it was, while Lucy is looking so underwhelmed, clearly having expected something more passionate. He barely has time to get defensive before she shuts him up with a real kiss… before they start making out. All the little details are amazing : the way she just grabs his face and goes for it, how he's caught off-guard and has to stomp on his feet to regain his equilibrium, how he smiles into the kiss trying to deepen it, their hands… THAT SHOT : the circular pan is brilliant. And they were seriously going to deepen that kiss when Tamara interrupted them. Their immediate reaction - jumping apart, going on opposite sides of the couch - is so entertaining… and the opposite of smooth. They really were caught up in the moment and now, they don't know how to behave… Lucy's 'this is work', pointing her finger at Tim, who's stuttering his agreement is not helping their case at all. Neither is the fact that he was going to go grab his stuff before realising he didn't have anything. Way to act not suspicious at ALL. This is peak comedy. Tim pointing his finger as well… they seriously have adopted the same mannerisms unknowingly and unfortunately for them, this isn't helping their case here. Lucy's face when she blurts 'good work tonight'… her wince once she realises what she just said… It can't get more awkward than this. Tamara doesn't even have to ask anything, these two are being unsubtle as hell. Melissa and Eric are killing it with their facial expressions : they deserved all the credit for elevating the script and making this scene so wonderful.

Lucy trying to process what just happened and trying to play it cool under Tamara's gaze… Tim's short-circuited brain trying to process this epiphany as well, with the crickets sound in the background… He spent the whole scene being knocked off his feet by how forward she was, by how she just oozed confidence, by his sudden awareness of his feelings and that moment of realisation is so beautifully portrayed on his face. This kiss changed everything. It completely affected them and as much as they're going to try to downplay it, they know it… They're just not ready to admit it to anyone yet - including themselves.

[she-karev]

Fall in Boston (Japril Imagine)

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: One of One

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Ship: Jackson Avery x April Kepner

AN: Happy Fall y’all! I decided to do fall themes for our favorite ships right here starting with Japril. Like and reblog below and let me know what you think.

Summary: Jackson and April spend the day in the park with their daughter Harriet during their first fall in Boston as a family.

Words: 1340

September 25, 2020

“Mommy, daddy can we go to the swings?!”

Harriet implores her parents in front of them who look at the swing set in the children’s playground. It was Jackson and April’s day off, so they decided to spend the day with Harriet exploring Boston Common Park.

The small family moved to Boston three months ago when Jackson decided to quit his job at Grey Sloan and run the foundation from his hometown. At first April was skeptical of this radical change and worried they would upend Harriet for no reason. However, Jackson convinced her this wasn’t impulsive instead it was the second time he was completely sure of what he wanted. The first time was when he got back together with April.

Although she was still slightly reluctant, April supported her husband and followed him with Harriet not wanting to be away from him after so many years apart. Since then, she was glad they did this feeling the same calling that Jackson felt.

The foundation has helped her establish a free clinic open for homeless communities and people who can’t afford healthcare. April has even reached out to Arizona about building a program offering free annual exams, birth control, and prenatal care for low-income women.

Also, in terms of her personal life she, Jackson and Harriet are better than ever. April thinks that getting away from Seattle and starting fresh somewhere else was just what their relationship needed to kickstart into the blissful, normal family dynamic she has wanted with him since they married. And Harriet loves Boston just like Jackson did growing up with the parks being her favorite part of this city.

April smiles at her excited daughter, “Sure Ladybug but first we gotta clean it, let’s go!”

Jackson and April lead Harriet to the swings where April pulls out sanitized wipes from her purse and starts wiping the seat attacked to chains. She is vigorous in her technique wiping the swing strongly like she is rubbing the germs to death. Jackson lifts Harriet up in his arms imitating a rocket that makes her giggle before putting her inside the blue seat.

“Push daddy!”

“What do you say honey?” Jackson asks with a smile.

“Please push daddy!” Harriet repeats politely to April’s joy smiling at her daughter taking her please and thank you lessons to heart. She wants Harriet to be just as kind as she is smart so she can succeed in life like the rest of her family.

“Very good let’s go sky high.” Jackson starts to push Harriet causing her to giggle as she swings forward with her parents behind her. While he pushes her Harriet looks around them being enthralled by the scenic beauty that has come this autumn.

Fall officially started three days ago and since then the leaves on the trees have changed from green to orange. It’s the kind of scene she grew up in except there were less skyscrapers around her. But even the tall buildings can’t diminish the amazing sight that comes from the seasons changing.

“Fall is the most beautiful time of the year.” Jackson confesses to April who turns to find him grinning at her awestruck expression, “It’s not too hot, it’s not too cold, the leaves change, it’s perfect in every way. Also you get to dogpile on mountains of leaves that are raked up in your front lawn, that was my favorite part.”

April grins at this, “Well maybe it can be Harriet’s favorite thing too, that’s the beauty of buying a house with an actual lawn. My favorite thing about fall is the pumpkin spice lattes that are deeply appreciated in such a short time.” April sips her fall themed latte that they picked up on their way to the park.

Jackson chuckles knowing about April’s sweet tooth, “It’s the one time you will buy high priced coffees.”

“Hey, don’t knock it till you try it. I can’t make it nearly as good as the underappreciated barista behind the counter. Also, it’s the perfect season to binge on Gilmore Girl’s, it’s the best comfort show that makes you appreciate Fall.”

Jackson keeps pushing Harriet, “Well I’ve never seen it so I wouldn’t know.” April frowns at this and her eyes bug out like she heard him confessing a murder to his amusement, “What?”

“You have never seen Gilmore Girls?” April asks not able to comprehend this atrocity, “My schedule is the same as yours and I binge the four seasons like their a lifeline because they are when the leaves turn orange. I mean if we were married longer, you would know what I mean.”

Jackson narrows his eyes confused, “I thought there were like 10 seasons of that show, but you said 4, why?”

“There are seven seasons, and I binged all of them, but Rory’s character took a nosedive once she went to college. Seasons 1-4 are where I’m convinced the show begins and ends.”

Jackson laughs at that, “See that is where Breaking Bad is different. There’s no best season or worst season, it’s just great in every way imaginable.”

April groans, “Not this again. I thought we agreed you would stop trying to get me to watch that show with you. You know that sad shows make me sad too.”

“I do but we never shook on it so I will keep persisting.” April rolls her eyes at him, “Most of my friends are back in Seattle and Harriet isn’t old enough to watch it, you’re my only option for a binging buddy.”

“Oh, that makes me feel so special.” April sarcastically jokes with a smile watching their daughter who is smiling as she reaches the sky in her swing.

Jackson gets an idea in his head that makes him smile, “How about this for a covid safe date night? I will give this Gilmore Girls show of yours a chance if you give Breaking Bad the same treatment right after. I think it’s a fair deal and you get to watch the greatest show of all time at last. What do you say?”

April chuckles at this but feels compelled to it if only to introduce her love to her favorite comfort show, “Deal but I get to pick the snacks.”

“As long as I get to choose the drinks.” April nods, “Awesome it’s a date then.” The parents keep pushing their daughter who is laughing and enjoying this quality time together.

That Night

‘I want a weekly dinner.’

Jackson and April are curled up on the couch in the tv room watching Gilmore Girls halfway in the pilot when Lorelai visits her parents to ask for money for Rory’s tuition. While they watch the girly show there is a bowl of caramel popcorn in April’s hands that Jackson has easy access to as she is comfortably in his arms. Jackson notes that she added Rolos and M&M’s into the mix that makes it sweeter.

“I’m guessing Lorelai’s got as much rich parents’ problems as me?” Jackson asks intrigued.

April grins at the similarity, “Except for the political alignments, the dad sticking around and the getting pregnant at 16 yeah the Avery and Gilmore clans are one and the same. Are you liking it so far?”

“It’s okay.” Jackson takes popcorn for himself, “I’m not a sitcom guy but I can see why you like it. Although it could be a little slower, the fast-paced dialogue is confusing me.”

“It’s what makes it so good.” April smiles at her husband, “Your able to catch up on fast pace surgical steps but not with a girly show that says a lot about you.”

“Thanks babe.” Jackson says with a chuckle. April grabs a Rolo from her bowl, offers it to Jackson who opens his mouth allowing her to feed the chocolate to him. They smile at succumbing to the feeding your partner cliché but enjoy it as they continue watching the show that makes them appreciate autumn more as well as date night and each other.

[midnightbears]

✿ duskbound, afterlight.

#STARRING: cybertronian femme reader & other characters.

#TAGS: medical stuff. mentions of pain. no appearance of canon characters.

#NOTES: i’ve realized it’s a hassle to carefully use cybertronian terms, especially for time units. after rewatching tfone and reading some of the idw comics, i noticed they don’t stick to those terms either, so i’ve been complicating things for no reason. starting from chapter five, i'll use some 'correct' anatomy terms but stick to regular expressions otherwise. also i'm not proud of this chapter but tbh i'm still worldbuilding so i need to set the scene and show you things sorryyyyy!!!!! enjoy!

part one | part two | part three | part five | part six

"Primes, how did you keep your mandible from falling off your face?" the aged medic asked, discombobulation painting the tone of his voice. “Sheer will?"

A sharp grunt tore from your voicebox as the medic messed around with the cables sustaining your helm. It was a searing and stinging discomfort, sure, but momentary, in contrast to the gradual torment the mech had imposed on you throughout the match. Your servos were clenched into fists at your sides, and a grimace pulled at your features every now and then, followed by a vocalized grunt.

"Stop that," he hissed at you, swatting your servo away when it instinctively reached your own injuries. "You’re gonna open your weldings if you keep at it."

You were lying on a berth, the occasional beeping of monitors filling the otherwise sterile space. The scent of scorched metal and disinfectant lingered in the air, blending with the sharp, acrid smell of your own energon, along with a couple of other stenches you couldn’t quite place. Your frame ached from helm to pedes, every servo and circuit buzzing with residual pain.

Through the barriers, your auditory sensors detected the roars of the crowd, likely coming from another match occurring at that very moment. You wondered if it was one of your comrades from the Mining Outpost. Would you be able to tell which one was missing when you reencountered with your group? You hoped so. If you ever did, that is.

The same mech who had brought you to the lobby had now accompanied you to the infirmary and leaned against the doorframe, watching the medic work. Truthfully, you didn’t know why he was following you around, but a small part of you appreciated that he was friendly enough to show you around. His optics flicked over your battered form with something like mild fascination.

"Is it always this dramatic?" he asked dryly, breaking the silence.

He was friendly, yes, but a gladiator of Kaon nonetheless.

You glared at him out of the corner of your optics. Generally, you weren’t the kind of bot to react aggressively towards others without justification, even in your former satellite. However, for some reason, the frustration from your match had yet to subside. "You think this is funny?"

"Not funny," he replied, shrugging. "You took down someone twice your size, and now you’re laying here acting like getting patched up is the worst part."

"Worst part was nearly getting killed," you muttered through gritted teeth as the medic pulled at another cable. "This is just a bonus."

The medic shot the mech a look as if to say, Can’t you see I’m busy? But the mech only gave a half-smirk and stayed put.

"You got some nerve coming in here and making jokes," you added, your tone sharper now as the pain began to ebb, your tension starting to release. "You act like I asked to be thrown into that pit."

"I didn’t say that," the mech responded, his optics narrowing slightly. "But if you want to survive here, you better learn to roll with the punches. This is just the beginning. There’s worse to come."

You weren't even making an effort to conceal the intensity of your anger, allowing a contemptuous look to dominate your features as you contemplated how difficult it would be to garner even a small measure of sympathy for your situation. Primus below, at this point, the feel of the various tools examining your protoform was just an afterthought. Instead, you sharply turned your helm in the mech’s direction.

"Why are you even—?"

The medic sighed, giving the mech a pointed look. "Do me a favor—either help or shut up. I’m trying to make sure she can still function after that scrap you gladiators call a match."

"Hey, I’m not the one who—" the mech began, but the medic cut him off with an irritated wave of his servo.

"Don’t care who did what. She’s here, you’re here. If you’re gonna stand there, at least keep it down." The medic’s optics glanced at you, still adjusting the cables. "You're lucky you're still functional. You lost a lot of energon out there, and that helm of yours—" He gestured quickly, frowning deeply. "I've seen mechs offline for less."

You weren’t sure whether his tone carried a grudging admiration or just plain disbelief.

"I won, didn’t I?" you finally muttered, optics staring at the ceiling, trying to focus on anything other than the stinging pain running through your frame.

"On the ugliest fight I’ve seen for a couple of stellar cycles now…" The mech mumbled.

Ugly, brutal, maybe—but the win had been yours.

"Yeah, yeah, you won," the medic said, scoffing lightly. "But you also wrecked yourself in the process. If you keep fighting like that, no amount of welding will keep you standing for long."

Another spark of pain surged through your helm as the medic continued his repairs, and you hissed, optic shutters fluttering as you struggled not to wince. Your thoughts, however, were drifting far from the berth. Bullway’s parting words haunted the back of your mind.

There’s always someone bigger and stronger waiting.

"I know," you said quietly. The medic didn’t respond, and his attention was back on his tools. But you knew he wasn’t the only one thinking it—your next fight could be your last if you didn’t find a way to get better, faster.

With a final tug, the medic stepped back, satisfied with his work. "There. You’ll need to rest for a few cycles."

"I don’t have time to rest," you replied, shaking your helm slightly, careful not to undo his work. "If I’m not ready, someone will be."

The mech pushed himself off the wall and moved closer, his optics scanning over your damaged frame. "She’s right. Rest gets you killed. You either stay on your pedes or get flattened."

The medic glared at him but said nothing, his attention returning to you. "Well, just try not to get yourself killed too quickly. I’m running low on parts."

You managed a weak chuckle. "I’ll try to keep that in mind."

With effort, you swung your stabilizers off the berth, testing your balance before standing. Your limbs felt like they were made of lead, but you forced yourself upright, refusing to show weakness.

The other mech stepped forward. "You good to walk?"

"I’m fine," you muttered, brushing him off. Even if you were grateful for the gesture, you weren’t about to show it. Not here.

He shrugged, stepping back with a half-smile. "Suit yourself."

Before you could leave, the medic grabbed a tool and tossed it between his servos for a moment as if considering something.

"One more thing," he added, optic ridges furrowing. "That wasn’t a normal fight out there. Bullway set you up."

You paused, turning to look at him. "Set me up how?"

The medic shrugged, but his expression was grim. "That mech you fought—Hazard—he wasn’t supposed to lose. Word is, Bullway wanted to see you fail. Guess you weren’t supposed to make it out of that arena."

The information sank like the cold and heavy metal you were forced to mine in your processor. Of course, it made sense. Bullway had never expected you to win—just wanted you to put on a show for the crowd. And now? Now, you’d made yourself a problem by surviving.

The other mech, who had been watching quietly, frowned. "That’s a serious accusation. But it makes sense. Bullway likes his fights brutal. You surviving wasn’t part of his plan."

You looked between them, the cold realization hardening in your spark. Bullway wanted you gone. He had underestimated you, and now he’d be looking for another chance to finish the job.

"Good to know," you muttered, your optics narrowing.

"Listen," said the medic. "I’ve been around long enough to know that the stunt you pulled was your anger fighting for you. You were lucky today, but it won’t serve you well the next time you fight. You gotta learn to fight like a proper fighter, not just use adrenaline to swing a sword around."

Your irritation grew with every word that spilled from him, "And how, pray tell, should I learn to fight here?"

"I’ve got a few bots in mind who would be delighted to meet you." Bluey’s voice (at least, that is what you had heard the medic call him when you stepped into the infirmary) was all-knowing, as though he was telling you something obvious.

"What?"

A small smile tugged at his dermas at the shock on your face. "If you need a reminder, you, a rookie, during her first match, spent the better part of five klicks demolishing a mech’s helm with his blade. We thought you’d busted a gasket until you stopped. Some bots actually betted shanix on you, and most of my colleagues got the short end of the stick."

Meteoric mottles of golden dust seemed to sporadically shimmer inside his optics, ochre-colored, which had suddenly grown wide with an almost childlike admiration as he chatted your audial receptors off.

You couldn’t explain why, but it comforted you.

"... Is that so?" Tilting your head, you raised your servos, staring at the energon drying around the crevices.

"Here."

Luckily, your reflexes made you look up just in time to catch whatever object the medic had thrown your way. Once your vision refocused, you saw that it was a… rotary buffer. Questioningly, you looked up at him.

"Oil baths and all that scrap are gonna cost ya shanix," he said, turning his back to reorganize the tools on his table, "and you gotta win a few more fights to start receiving your parts, so that’s as much as I can give you if you wanna get those energon stains off. Once you’re done with it, give it back."

"You have the right to one energon ration daily and the usual basics for free, but shanix gets you the real juice here." Bluey chimed in, staring at the buffer in your servos. Then, he moved toward the door, "Here, I’ll show you. I was starving anyway. Let’s see if I can introduce you to some of my pals on the way."

"Thanks," you told the medic, turning to follow Bluey out the door.

As soon as the automatic door closed, your companion snorted, starting an airy, light walk toward one of the halls. "Primus below, I think Rumble hates you."

"Rumble?" You parroted, awkwardly looking at the buffer in your servos before using your right servo to grab it. Were you going to have to carry it the entire time?

"Rumbleburner, that’s him, the medic. He’s got a temper, but he’s good at what he does. Just… don’t expect him to sugarcoat anything."

You snorted softly, gripping the buffer a little tighter. "I noticed."

Bluey laughed, turning his helm to glance at you. "Yeah, well, you’re going to get used to it. He’s patched up mechs worse off than you, believe me."

"Worse than me?" you muttered, recalling the medic’s earlier comments. The pain still echoed through your frame, though it had dulled now that you were on your pedes again. "Can’t imagine what that looks like."

"Trust me," Bluey replied, his optics gleaming as he glanced over his shoulder. "You don’t want to."

You followed him through a winding series of hallways, his light-hearted chatter somehow easing the weight in your frame. He pointed out the occasional landmark—crude etchings in the metal walls, dents from past fights, even a faint, half-burned insignia of a past arena champion left to rust over. It was clear he'd been here a while, the easy way he moved through the pits almost reassuring in this unfamiliar maze.

Finally, you reached a wide, dimly lit mess hall filled with mechs in various states of repair, leaning against walls or seated at battered metal tables, energon cubes scattered in front of them. Bluey motioned to the energon dispenser against the far wall.

"Help yourself. That there’s the standard ration," he said, nodding toward the machine. "If you ever get lucky, sometimes you can find the premium stuff, but that’s rare. Around here, energon that pure costs shanix most of us don’t have."

You pressed a few buttons, and the dispenser spluttered to life, filling a cube with a thin, pale blue liquid that looked just on the edge of functional. You took it gratefully. Bluey grabbed one for himself, and the two of you leaned against a nearby wall, sipping in silence for a moment.

"That mech there’s Furnace," Bluey whispered, nodding toward a tall, narrow bot covered in faded red plating with scorch marks running up his arms. "He’s one of the oldest still fighting. Almost made it to the top once but got his servos shattered."

You took another sip, the thin energon buzzing faintly as it settled into your systems. "And he’s still fighting?"

Bluey shrugged. "What else is there for us here?" He waved his cube vaguely. "Not all of us have somewhere else to go if we wanted to. Furnace hangs on like the rest of us—figuring that maybe next cycle will be different."

You gazed at Furnace for a long moment, trying to imagine the strength it must take to keep fighting when every match was a struggle to survive, knowing the system was rigged from the start. It made you wonder, deep down, if you’d be able to do the same when your turn came.

Bluey watched you with a sidelong glance, a flicker of sympathy in his optics before he leaned back and let out a short, quiet chuckle. "It’s a raw deal, huh?"

He swirled the remaining energon in his cube like it was some fine vintage, though you both knew it was anything but. "But you get used to it. Even the rust, the grime… the constant buzz of the generators in the walls. It starts to feel like home if you’re here long enough. Like a really lousy, beat-up home that you can’t leave.”

His voice had a certain lightness to it that didn’t quite match the words. There was an edge of humor, but it felt like something he had practiced—a way to make the harshness of the pits a little more bearable.

You could tell that Bluey was the kind of bot who wore his optimism like an armor, deflecting the gloom with a crooked smile and a quick joke. It was in the way he’d gesture with his free hand as he spoke, like the tales he was telling were grand adventures instead of harsh realities, his animated movements almost distracting you from the scars lining his frame—the patches of mismatched plating, the faint welding marks that told stories.

“Me?” He continued without prompting, a grin creeping back onto his face. “I’ve been here… oh, longer than I probably should have. Since before Furnace even. I was still shiny when I got here. Fast, too—faster than anyone expected. And trust me, you need speed down here more than strength. Half the fighters don’t last a cycle if they don’t learn that quick enough.”

He looked around the room, his optics lingering on a few battered mechs before settling back on you. “I’m not the best fighter—never claimed to be—but I’m still standing, yeah? That’s gotta count for something. They call me Bluey ‘cause, well—” He tapped his chest, drawing attention to the chipped blue paint that had faded to a dull, washed-out hue over time. “—it used to be brighter. Didn’t want to change the name, though. I like it. Besides, it’s good to keep things simple. Easier to remember when everything else starts blurring together.”

His laugh was genuine, if a little worn at the edges, like he was used to laughing alone. You couldn’t help but smile back, feeling some of the tension leave your own shoulders. For all his jokes, Bluey had the air of someone who had seen it all—the good, the bad, the desperate—and had come out the other side with his humor intact, even if it was more jagged than it used to be.

He was stubbornly alive despite the decay of the pits, and you found yourself wondering just how many times he’d leaned against this very wall, sipping energon and watching newcomers stumble through the same uncertain steps you were taking now.

He raised his cube to you in a mock toast. “Welcome to the pits, rookie,” he said, the smile lingering. “You seem like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders. You’ll need that. Everyone comes in with big plans, y’know. Dreams of glory, of winning it all. But the ones that make it—the ones that survive—they’re not always the strongest or the smartest. They’re the ones who learn to roll with the punches. And you gotta want it. Really want it. Or this place eats you up."

His optics dimmed for a fraction of a second, like he was remembering something from a long time ago, then flickered back to life with a casual wink. “But hey, don’t let me scare you off. I’m sure you’ll be fine,” he added, clapping you on the shoulder a little too enthusiastically. “I’ll even show you a few tricks—later, when you’ve had time to settle, eh?”

You raised an optic ridge, willing to see if his sense of humor remained the same, "How come you're being so friendly? Do you greet every single rookie like this? Are you going to stab me in the back as soon as you have the chance?"

He shook his helm. "Nah, I kinda wanna be your friend. You look like you've lost a lot, and it intrigues me. What could you have been so angry about back in the pit, then?"

Bluey noticed how your expression turned eerily serious, how you went back to minding your own energon cube, and how your optics dimmed. Ah, seems like he had hit the nail right on the head.

He drained the rest of his energon in a single gulp, crumpling the empty cube in one hand before tossing it over his shoulder with a practiced flick. It landed in a bin across the room with a dull clang, and he grinned like he’d just pulled off some impossible feat.

“Come on,” he said, jerking his head toward the far door, his voice suddenly brisk and business-like. “I think it’s time I show you to your quarters.”

As you followed him out of the mess hall, you found yourself catching the rhythm of his stride, the easy confidence that came from knowing every corner, every turn.

For a moment, you almost forgot how harsh the pits were—how every mech in the room had fought for their survival more times than you could count. Bluey’s chatter, his easy laughter, made the shadows seem a little less deep. It was clear he was the kind of bot who could make you believe things might just work out, even when every circuit in your system told you they wouldn’t.

Maybe that was his greatest trick.

The corridors seemed to grow dimmer and narrower as Bluey led you deeper into the complex. Rows of closed doors lined the way, their metal panels dented and scraped, tales of past collisions and careless encounters. Mechs lounged in shadowed alcoves, their optics barely flickering as you passed, casting you brief, uninterested glances before settling back into their own quiet lives, their own silent spaces.

Somehow, the Pits seemed endless, stretching far beyond the modest outer structure you’d glimpsed upon first entering Kaon’s underbelly. You couldn’t help but wonder how far these corridors twisted and turned, if there were rooms and sublevels you’d never see, housing more than just fighters—a hidden network of bots, secrets, scars. 

Each corridor seemed to break into smaller passages, branching like veins through metal sinew, with barely-lit paths and tight corners where other mechs lingered. You glimpsed layers upon layers of living spaces, training rooms, and armory holds—each a small world in itself.

It struck you then, in a way you hadn’t quite understood until now, just how immense this place was.

Bluey glanced back, perhaps catching the tension in your expression, and gave a faint smile that wasn’t unkind. "Starting to feel how big it is, huh? You’ll get to know these halls eventually. Takes a while to know where everything leads. And longer to realize you’ll see only what they want you to."

The thought settled coldly in your mind as you continued forward, step by step, passing into deeper shadows, where the lighting grew dim and sporadic. Even as you moved forward, the feeling of being watched—by the walls, by some unseen optics—never left you. 

"Supplies depot’s just ahead," Bluey filled the silence again, gesturing toward a metallic door.

The depot was a cramped room lined with shelves holding bins of basic gear, hastily sorted with no real regard for organization. Heaps of scratched metal plating, half-dented tool kits, energon rations, and other essentials were scattered around like an afterthought.

Bluey guided you to a shelf and motioned to the bins stacked haphazardly. "Take what you need—don’t expect much. They don’t keep the depot well-stocked, but it’s enough to get by. Berth stuff, an extra canister or two for energon… You can snag a cleaning rag if you’re lucky."

You sorted through the supplies, picking up a battered energon canister, a thin mat meant for the berth, and a few other necessities. Most of the items looked worn, clearly passed down through countless hands. Even the cleaning cloth you found had patches where the fabric had thinned from overuse. You left the rotatory buffer inside, making a mental note to return it to Rumbleburner the following day.

Bluey didn’t say much as he handed you a small, dull toolkit, his optics dimming slightly as he examined it. "Might come in handy. Things break around here more than they’re fixed."

You took it, feeling a quiet gratitude you weren’t quite sure how to express, and nodded instead. "Thanks."

"Let’s get you to your quarters, then." He inclined his head, a slight smirk tugging at his mouth. He didn’t elaborate, but there was something in his tone that left your circuits buzzing. You followed him silently as he led you through a few more twisting corridors.

The only resemblance between the Pits of Kaon and Mining Outpost R–02, which you could applaud, was that the bosses were gracious enough to give their workers proper berthrooms with the minimum necessities.

When you finally stepped through the door with Bluey following behind, you took your time to gaze around the room with mild interest. 

There was a berth wedged against the far wall, barely more than a slab of metal with thin padding, its edges scarred and dented as if the last occupant had spent restless nights or wrenched themselves off it with a little too much force. The berth was barely wide enough for a bot to lay down comfortably, but it was all the room had for recharge purposes, the metal showing the unmistakable signs of prolonged use with a dull sheen and countless tiny scratches across the surface.

In one corner sat a small, beat-up energon dispenser bolted to the wall, its spout slightly bent and showing signs of rust. A few empty energon canisters were scattered haphazardly underneath it, as if somebot hadn’t bothered with any notion of tidiness, just drained and tossed them aside.

The floor was the same dull grey metal as the walls, layered in faint scuffs and marks as if countless feet had worn patterns of use and wear, giving the space a gritty, bare-bones charm. The dull lighting, flickering now and then, cast the room in a faintly sickly yellow that made every scratch, dent, and discolored metal patch seem a little more prominent.

One wall held a small locker, the door slightly ajar, revealing an empty compartment save for a few metal scraps and something resembling a makeshift hook—a place to hang armor plates, maybe, though none remained now. A crumpled, dirty cleaning cloth had been left on the floor beside it, suggesting they had either attempted to wipe something down or had given up midway through.

The room wasn’t exactly welcoming, but it looked like it had served its function. Its practicality reflected the cybertronian way of living here—survival, nothing more. There were faint traces of oil smudges along the door frame and berth, reminders of a mech who’d lived here in this cramped, sparse space, leaving minor signs of themselves despite how little they had to leave behind.

"Whose room is this?"

"Hazard’s," Bluey replied.

"Oh."

You tried to recharge that night, you really did, but every time you closed your optics, the painful churn in your spark only seemed to tighten, tugging you back to consciousness. So, instead of resting, you spent the long hours of the night crying, quiet sobs shaking your frame as you tried to keep them muffled, hoping no one else could hear.

You didn’t want to give anyone a reason to see you as fragile, vulnerable—or worse, as an easy target. The last thing you needed was a reputation of weakness in a world where strength and resilience defined your worth.

But part of you also wondered if your cries might create a different impression. Maybe the others would view you as a frightened, unassuming thing—small, naïve, easily overlooked. An image you could use to your advantage, catching enemies off guard when they least expected it.

Or maybe your pain was simply a strength in its own right, hidden beneath a layer of rust and weariness. Perhaps it was okay to feel, to show that you could be strong and hardcore and ruthless on the outside while still carrying the weight of sorrow and rage within…?

Scrap it all. You weren’t sure anymore. You didn’t know anything. What were you doing here?

All you knew was that you wanted the hurt to stop.

You wanted to reach inside your own spark and rewind time, to return to a moment when things were simpler, clearer, and before you’d made mistakes you couldn’t take back.

Before you’d lost pieces of yourself you couldn’t easily rebuild.

You wanted to look forward and see a future where everything didn’t feel so fractured.

But even as you wished for a reset, you knew that wasn’t how this worked.

You would have to keep going, piece by piece, until you found the strength to face your next day.

So you lay there, optics dimming in the darkness, bracing yourself for what tomorrow would bring.

‘Starlight, I promise you, they will not see me cry.’

[anendoandfriendo]

Profile for Aster (Prototype)

"Look, I’m a little busy right now, could you please come back la – ah, so you wanted to talk to me about that? I guess I could explain the difference once more between the two substances, but only once more. Please pay attention this time. I do not need you killing yourself because you decided now was a good time to space out."

Aster and Astellaryx are probably more like fire and water: they seem more like opposites until you realize fire and water make steam. You wouldn’t really expect them to get along, until you do, and the dynamic that’s created still looks a lot more unstable and has a lot more movement than either of its components. It’s extremely hard to follow either of the twins, but more so Aster, who is the brains behind the scenes.

Aster has a tendency to take what most people would consider way too much time to accomplish his plans, and his curiosity is generally more idle curiosity for his surroundings. Observation is key to planning, which can come in handy both in naturalistic and metropolitan environments. Or, as he puts it: “I prefer case studies but, well, in a pinch I guess I don’t mind a bit of experimentation,” when asked.

This is especially true when someone as, ah, excuse him, bullheaded as his sister is in his presence on a regular basis. At this point, he isn’t even surprised by the actions of his counterpart. He is just glad his sibling didn’t set the entire casino on fire, or just randomly grab him and get everyone in the building killed, that one time he got himself kidnapped by another organization. It’s Astellaryx he’s talking about. She can take care of the both of them just fine, so he probably shouldn’t question it too much. She had decided kidnapping him right back would be a better plan than letting him bide his time and make his own escape, much to his chagrin.

It’s not like he’s super weak; he is a cow demon after all, just like Astellaryx. He just prefers to stay silent and step in only when things look bad enough, and Aster just discovered a new way to clean off all of that damn blood on her clothes, please, it won’t be like last time where he burned a hole through the sleeve okay he promises so the poor bastard who has earned Aster’s ire is probably in for quite the fun time when Aster takes them in for one of his study ideas!

The “experimentation” in question that Aster varies but is usually – yup, you guessed it – toxins and poisons, with a live test subject being preferred. This is the part he often leaves out when answering the question “what do you learn about in your free time,” or anything similar. Normally it’s something like a bird or a rodent, but considering he has very likely made some minor body modifications on himself for shits and giggles (much to the chagrin of his now-obliterated village...the exile is now permanent he supposes), it is not beyond him to do the same for the unwitting test subject should they attempt take advantage of Astellaryx’s dumbassery. The same will go for friends if he ever obtains them. They don’t need to know about this though. :))))) Everyone is safe and happy as long as they are under his metaphorical wings. :)))))

He keeps a notebook on him at all times which contains many many diagrams, formulae, random notes he’s scribbled over time, experiment ideas, observations he's made about other individuals, and more. He would probably be quite lost without it as he tends to be forgetful at times, and it functions secondarily as a personal diary (Aster will not admit to this). If you squint a little you can see notes about his personal feelings in the day-to-day; a small flag (transgender flag) design is often doodled into the margins of the pages. Some of the diagrams in the notebook are about the facial expressions and body language of several different species; this is dismissed as “needing to know about the anatomy" of his "subjects,” but in reality this has saved him from many bad or even just really awkward situations...he would really rather not remember those thank you very much.

//// This was about as far as we got before we realized we should probably check the session zero notes and...yup, there it is, several lines we can't cross that we would have if we kept writing with this particular Aster. \\\\

[lilyfailstodraw]

Fundamentals time.

Fundamentals are what applies to any image no matter what technique was used, what style, materials, medium - it does not matter. You can analyze any image through those fundamentals.

Each fundamental contains multiple skills. Each of them have infinitely large skill ceiling.

It would be stupid to not use someone's knowledge about the subject, so I'll just find some good article by experienced active artist and write my thoughts about it.

This will be good enough for start.

I guess, I'll need to break down each fundamentals in smaller details under close inspection later.

So. David Revoy has good and easy to understand article.

For now, I cannot train each of the fundamentals separately. I need to get a basic understanding of applying every one of them simultaneously and thoughtfully. Later I can concentrate on some specific things. David says so too.

I won't copy the article one-to-one but capture my thought process while reading it.

Being an artist in visual field is based on techniques of creating visual illusion. Which are based on rules of perception of human eye. Idea is to trick eyes so when they see that illusion, it feels natural and meaningful for them.

For convenience and ease of understanding i separated fundamentals into technical and expressive as they even if connected, need different approaches to learn and use.

So, fundamentals

Technical fundamentals.

These are skills that on the most part are purely technical. That don't require expression of emotions, story or anything that is traditionally associates with artistic expression.

They don't require much choice and operate by sets of very strict rules that are dictated by our perception of environment.

Geometry, Physics and Math define and describe how technical fundamentals should work. Which you need to follow if you need your art to be technically correct.

Artist's journey from technical standpoint is to understand rules of nature and figure out how to use them for their advantage.

It's important to know that strict set of rules equals easy predictablity of outcomes. Which means that there are a lot of grids, rulers and another guides that you can simply follow and it will look right.

Structural fundamentals.

These are sets of rules for creating objects in scene. And to make them look right from constructive point of view.

For them, in theory, you can use any material or tools to train or show them, as these are purely structural and don't need more than simple lines to work.

Idea of structural fundamentals is that they are purely a structural carcass of an art piece. These are the main culprits of tricking the eyes and brain into thinking that they see something three-dimensional and with volume even without shading and color.

1. Perspective

Eyes have certain rules of perceiving depth. To simulate that depth perception on two-dimensonal plane, you need to use rules of perspective.

There are a ton of guides, grids and other helpful tools for perspective that artists invented. While learning, start from most basic concepts like grids, how to use them, and how basic shapes act in perspective.

2. Proportions

Proportions are a weird one. I think David made them into separate fundamental skill as many artists orient themselves by proportions in the process of drawing.

Right now I think about proportions more like of combination of fundamentals like: visual library, composition, anatomy and communication. Just because proportions are never the same and can mean too many things at once. And proportions of all things are the most manipulated thing in art. Yeah, there are golden ratios and ideal proportions in anatomy that you better know. But it's more of visual library thing in my head than anything.

But, I'm not professional artist or expert so.

Proportions are relations in size between anything. Between different parts of the body. Between negative and positive space on canvas. Between objects in the scene.

There are numerous things that are easily recognizable for their proportions. Aaand I lost myself trying again to separate proportions from visual library. Proportions are like sub-class of visual library that includes stereotypical sizes and relations that you just remember. Anatomy includes learning proportions too. I dunno why it is separate.

Okay... If we separate remembering of proportions from methods of using them... that will kinda work as separate fundamental skillset. Does not matter how many proportions you remembered. It matters how you can apply them into your work.

3. Anatomy

Structures are complex objects that consist of other simpler objects.

Anatomy is a study of how those structures function. If you understand how object works and what parts it consists of, you can create more believable image of this object.

Anatomy includes basically everything mechanical about any structure (humans, animals, mechanisms, plants, etc) and how parts of these structures connect, look, what shapes are they, how they work together and etc. (Bones, joints, muscles, shapes, how they change)

Readability fundamentals

These are for effective delivery of specifically visual information. Structural are more about geometric/wireframe side of things and expressives are for delivering the idea. Readability fundamentals are there so your image is easier and more intuitive to read.

4. Composition

Composition is basically how you place your elements on canvas. These elements can be grouped not just by objects but by color, level of depth, distance and really any other way.

By separating and grouping elements, your piece is easier to read and it generally gives more expression. If you can say what happens in the picture by little thumbnail - that's composition that works.

Learning composition is more or less visual library thing plus ease of reading on par with meaning.

5. Lighting/Shading

Shading is a term I like better.

Shading is a skill that communicates lighting though different values/shades of color. Proper illusion of light is the goal here.

This skill is vast in theory. You need to learn how light works, how it changes with intensity, multiple light sources interaction, how to cast shadows properly, light bounces, how different materials interact with light and most importantly, how to deliver all that through different values of same or different colors.

6. Edges

After infinitely large skillset to not so vast in size.

Edges are how you split shapes and silhouettes from each other. That's it.

You know, when two same colored objects overlap from your point of view, it's kinda hard to know when one ends and second starts sometimes. Just because they lack a specific edge and blend into each other. Yeah, you can separate them with composition, but sometimes it kinda ruins everything so you need to solve this problem with edges.

Overlapping is fundamental rule of perspective, so by splitting objects with hard edges you not only make things more easy for eyes but make closest object pop. Or you blend them with soft edges, it's your choice.

So, for paintings these are edges(hard, soft, lost) and for line art are line styles(weight, speed, ghost)

Expressive fundamentals

Thing is, with enough understanding, any fundamental skill can be used in expressive way by changing or even breaking the rules in meaningful ways to express your idea more clear.

Expressive fundamentals are for delivering idea or emotion to the viewer. Mood, message, flow, energy, symbolism, taste, invention, associations - all these are expressions of artists' mind in the first place.

7. Colors

Why is it in expressives, not communicatives?

In short, you use colors as emotional information transmitter or as an aesthetic choice. Lighting will make basically any color work, so choice of color from technical and readability point of view is insignificant.

People associate different colors with different things and emotions. Just by placing couple of colors near each other will tell some people a clear message or association.

So, learning colors is basically learning different color systems, how they look together, subcontious meanings of them.

How colors change in different lighting is more of shading thing.

8. Gesture

Gesture is a weird one when you hear about it.

Gesture as an exercise is quick rapid sketching with no little to no restraints with next in mind:

Gesture as a skill is about transmitting dynamics(movement, tension, flow, expressions, actions) and capturing "life" in static image.

9. Style

Style is a series of aesthetic and technical choices to "sell" particular artwork to specific audience in appealing way.

It covers all aspects of life. From clothing to way you move. Traditional, symbolic, expressive... Anything can be merged into style. Also anything can inspire it, from movies to music to everyday life.

Fashion is a good synonym for style.

10. Concept

Development of an abstract design in visual form.

Basically, taking any kind of idea and developing its visual. Making something new.

More you know about ideas, their realization in real life and how things work the better.

Anyway, it's purely creative process and it's implied you'll have some happy accidents. If you have some idea - draw it. If it's not really what you wanted to draw - you now have something that captures that idea(even if poorly) and now you know what you need to learn to make a better idea or capture it better. Win-win.

11. Communication

Storytelling through image.

Sometimes it's much easier to show than tell.

You can encode a message or story into image. You just need to learn the nonverbal language.

Effectivity fundamentals

Okay, these have nothing to do with David's article but in my head these are still essential skillsets that every artist uses.

There are million ways to draw and paint. So there is always easier or faster way to do anything.

These skillsets will make you more reliable, faster and overall make your life as artist easier over time.

12. Visual library

It does not really matter how vivid your imagination, if you have aphantasia and cannot visualize things or really bad at remembering things. You still can develop a visual library.

Visual library is a collection of objects, styles, compositions, proportions or anything visual that you remember in small details and can recreate at will. Things from this library are drawn Intuitively and waste no brainpower to do so.

To add an item to visual library you need to learn everything you can about it for some time. Then draw it from every angle possible. Once you don't even think about how to draw this thing - it's safe to say you're finished with it. More knowledge about this item like its purpose, how to use it, what materials and whatever you can imagine - the better.

13. Simplification

Making things simple have many purposes. Simpler things are easier and faster to produce. Also it's harder to lose track of things if they are simplified. It's easier to communicate with simpler things. And you always can make simple thing more complex. Thing is, it's harder to make something complex and working from the ground up than from something simpler.

All this relates to your process, thinking and everything you make on canvas equally.

From two equally skilled artists, best one is who thinks in simpler terms. One who's process is so simple to him, so easy to navigate, he can replicate any thing he's done before. One who can explain his process so it's easy for his listeners to do it themselves.

14. Stealing

Well, analysis is a better term. But stealing is more motivating way of thinking about it.

Best way to understand how to steal properly is by learning how to use references. And what people generally mean when they say it.

When you look at reference, analyze it. What do you see and what can be the idea behind it? Why is it that way? The way it looks. The way it's constructed that way. You will have some suggestions, no matter what you look at. Only problem is putting it into words. From answers to these questions you will have some idea.

Some idea you can freely steal. And realize it on paper or whatever.

It works not only for new concepts but as learning tool too. Its easier to learn general idea of any thing before learning/practicing it's exact realization.

And yeah, it's kinda wrong to steal realizations rather than ideas. And counterproductive in the long run from the perspective of being able to learn/express yourself

Fundamentals rely and interact with each other. If you break one thing, you probably break many of them. Same with success - if everything is good about one fundamental in the piece, others are easier to work with.

Also, it's important to point out that your whole drawing process can be founded by one fundamental in particular. And it can be any one of them. If you prefer to use construction grids to build your image from ground up and have no understanding about any other fundamental - you still can make a masterpiece if you master your process.

Some workflows may just have no need of some fundamentals whatsoever.

[loverdrew]

Just A Little Longer | s.r

(not my gif)

Synopsis: A day out on the field doesn’t go as planned, and Y/N is thrown into am ambulance to Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital before anyone can help. 

A Grey’s Anatomy x Criminal Minds crossover.

Warnings: none (?)

There was a ringing in the air louder than the one you hear everyday. I felt my breathing hinder. My eyes can only open so wide, enough to see the light, but once by my side, could see only a dark substance quickly oozing out of my body. As I came to, I could tell it was getting harder and harder to breathe, a sharp pain with every inhale and exhale. Upon instinct, I checked my fingers for mobility, feeling that they could move slightly. At least this means I am not paralyzed in my upper body. There was no other noise for a few more minutes, just a slight rustling of trees and the dirt road beneath me. I don’t even remember the initial shot being taken, whether it was from me or him. All I remember is instantly falling to the floor once I arrived on the scene. I just laid in my own blood, the realization that no one may be coming for me.

“Y/N! Y/N! Wake up!” I could faintly hear from what felt like a mile away. My brain perked at the voice, definitively Morgan, but my body would not react. I tried with every might to move my limbs once again but alas, nothing. It was if my brain was screaming and sending pulses to my muscles but it just refused to move. I started to feel hands all over me, lifting me and placing me on what I could imagine was a gurney, as it moved. My sense of hearing coming in full force, beginning to hear people talking and shuffling. Hotch and Morgan were asking where I was being transported to and Emily and JJ consoling someone else who I could hear was practically sobbing. 

“They’re going to take care of her, c’mon let’s just go follow them now!” Emily yelled to everyone. But that distressed someone fought back.

“No! She’s not even moving! They’re intubating her! Emily she’s dying!” 

Spencer....? 

“Reid, you want to help her? Get out of here and go to the hospital.” Hotch firmly said, I could even tell he probably put his hands on Reid, as the sound of prominent footsteps were halted. And the next thing I heard was doors closing, and the sirens blaring.

Once we had arrived at the hospital, I heard a woman’s voice that sounded very strong, like she was in charge.

“What do we got?” She asked.

“GW to the left ribcage, she’s lost a lot of blood, almost 2 pints. We’ve been intubating her since we got to the scene but Bailey, it doesn’t look too good. Possible head contusion when she hit the floor as well.” The EMT stated.

“Alright I’ll page Shepard and Hunt immediately. Out of the way everybody! FBI agent coming through!” And my gurney started moving even faster, winding down a short hallway into a room where I could hear many doctors coming to look at my wounds. I felt absolutely helpless, not being able to communicate what hurts for me. What if they miss something? What if they can’t help me in time? The EMT said I lost a lot of blood, what if it’s too much to come back from?

“Hang 2 units of O neg now!” A man with a deep voice yelled out. I could feel big, callus hands turning me on my back, and the next thing I knew a needle was being shoved in my arm and a warm sensation filling my arm. 

“Owen she needs to go up to CT now or she’s not going to make it.” A woman with a softer voice spoke next to the man.

“Amelia she needs this wound patched first or she’ll bleed out and then she won’t even have a chance in CT.” He raised his voice at her, kind of like how Hotch can be sometimes.

“Let me see, I can patch quickly if everyone gives me space. Looks like the bullet left through the back as well.” This time it was another man with a softer voice than the first, and instantly felt his delicate hands holding onto my ribs, feeling a metal substance touching my skin. By my analysis, he’s most likely a plastics surgeon. Only a man in plastics has such delicate touch.

“Well hurry Jackson she’s got about 10 minutes before that brain contusion completely debilitates her and she’ll be in a coma.”

“Yea I got it.” He said nonchalant.

The sounds of beeping and shuffling were quickly interrupted by deep screams, of which belonged to the lanky pretty boy. My heart rate instantly got faster the second his voice entered the room.

“Sir, sir who are you?” The plastics guy asked urgently.

“I-I’m her, her uh- I’m just a friend, please let me be next to her.” He pleaded, rasp in his voice. I can tell he had been crying the whole ride over.

“Okay, sir you’re gonna have to wait with everybody else, she’s in a lot of distress and she’s lost a lot of blood. We’re doing everything we can for her.” Almost on cue, my heart monitor started spazzing. The loud beeping indicating I’m going into cardiac failure. 

“She’s in V-fib, get the defibrillator now!” The man with the lower voice yelled. I felt the clothing on my body being ripped open, a few buttons popping and flying off. The patches were on and in a few seconds, I felt the shock and I could feel it vibrate every vessel inside me. They cleared a second a time, my heart rate returning to normal.

“Okay Jackson you’re gonna have to finish her later she needs a head scan now.” The women voiced, and immediately I could feel the gurney being whisked and into an elevator, going up to the CT room.

Being in the big machine and hearing the slight “ZZZ” sound felt like the first time of peace since my brain fully woke up. For a few hours now I was being poked and prodded, not even getting a chance to hear my own thoughts. This was the only time I got to really savor whatever life I had left, to really hear and feel the people I love around me, and to prepare for what could happen. It felt inevitable to try and escape death, it was a part of my job. And the one regret I’d have is not being the real me with the person I loved most in this world. That tall, pretty, incredible genius was the love of my life for the past 3 years I’ve been with the BAU, and he was everything and more I could’ve ever dreamed of and better. I could physically feel my heart aching at the way his voice cracked yelling for me. I wished nothing more than to look him straight in the eye and hold his hands, telling him I’ll be okay. The way he stuttered when he said friend, so unsure. We had kissed just a few days ago, after a long day of work he came by my hotel room and finally expressed his feelings after so long. The fireworks we shared were something out of a book. The way his hands fit around my face, holding me so close and so softly as if I were glass and he was afraid to break it. We hadn’t talked about it since, but we figured we had more time. But now I realize time is never guaranteed. 

Within 30 minutes I was in a regular room, the plastics man working on sowing back up my wounds. “You, Ms.Y/N are one of the luckiest gunshot victims I’ve seen; no severe tears. Which means this just needs a quick stitch and you’ll be all set.” He said softly to me, I could feel a smile on his face as he spoke.

I heard another person walk into the room, footsteps almost so quiet. 

“H-How, how is she Dr.?” He was shaking.

“The CT showed some swelling but no internal bleeding. We’re going to keep her here overnight but I’m sorry, I don’t know if and when she’ll wake up. That’s all up to her.” The women sadly spoke, unsure of even her own diagnosis.

I heard Spencer start to cry again, a loud puff coming from deep in his chest.

“Dr. Reid, could you please sit with me.” The two of them stepped to sit in the 2 seats next to my bed.

“I know what it feels like to be in a field of study where, you know everything there is to know. And I also know what it feels like to be completely out of control in that field, when you know what to do, but you can’t even do it.” She sighed. “I am one of the best neurosurgeons in the country, I know almost everything...but yet I had a brother who died of a brain injury. I could’ve been there to help him but I couldn’t do a damn thing. I know what this feels like.” Reid started crying harder, his cries muffled by his own hands. He was trying so hard not to let the sounds leak from the room, but it did and it made my bones stand still.

“I had a mentor who was in a coma, and even though I’m in plastics”- (told y’all) -”there was still nothing I could do for him. We just had to wait. He was one of my greatest friends, one of the best people you’d ever meet, so loved. The love of his life died in front of his eyes and I think most of us knew he’d be going next, to be with her. Life was too painful without her. Do you love this girl right here?” Spencers respond came almost immediately.

“More than anybody or anything.”

“Then wait, just a little longer. If she loves you like you love her she’s going to fight to wake up and be alive.” Both of the doctors walked out, leaving me and my lover boy.

His veiny hands grabbed onto mine, rubbing softly at my knuckles.

“I’m gonna do what he said, just wait a little longer. But please Y/N, if you can hear me, come back to me.” He cried into my hand, the tears coating it.

As if the Gods granted it themselves, I moved my eyelids open. Very slowly, and it hurt to do so, but they opened. Spencer sensed movement, and his head instantly came up holding on tighter to my hand. A weak smile placed on my face as my tired eyes loving locked with his.

“Waiting for me?” 

[fantasia-monogram]

As the clock strikes midnight, part 3/3

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / epilogue

♥️ Taeyang x reader (nonbinary, female anatomy) x Jaeyoon; mentions of other SF9 members

♥️ NSFW (~4.2k words); threesome smut. Light BDSM, voyeurism, safe sex. No one is 100% straight.

♥️ You’re a beast at work, having to be tough to climb up the corporate ladder, but what you never thought of is that your attitude might be intimidating to your long time crush. Luckily, your much more laid back friend is here to help... both of you. Please read part 1 and 2 before this!

♥️ Disclaimer: this is just for fun! I’m not claiming that’s how they are in real life, it’s just my imagination doing whatever it wants. Read at your own discretion.

You were in the process of taking off your satin top (the shorts and the nightgown were absentmindedly discarded back in the kitchen and you could swear you were almost embarrassed at how eager you were) when you noticed with the corner of your eye that Taeyang, instead of taking place on the bed like you established earlier, approached Jaeyoon. 

"Before we start, I just… wanted to say thank you," he said softly, putting his hand on Jaeyoon's exposed bicep. "You were always rooting for Y/n and I, and if not for you, I'd probably never confess." 

Jaeyoon chuckled, pulling the boy into a tight embrace. Despite the heartwarming nature of this scene, you couldn't help but feel arousal rush through your body: the sight was dreamy to say the least, considering they were both almost naked, if not for Jaeyoon's boxer briefs and Taeyang's light grey slacks. 

"I know, I'm the best wingman ever," the older of your friends concluded, "Everything for my best friends," he added with a devilish smirk, looking straight at you. 

That gave you an equally devilish idea to kickstart this whole scene. 

"You sure do love Taeyang a lot, don't you?" You asked, now standing there in black lace boxer shorts only. 

"Of course I do! He's my favorite dongsaeng!" Jaeyoon confirmed enthusiastically. 

You hadn't missed the way the boy in question eyed you hungrily, his plush lips slightly parted at the sight.

"Why don't you show me how much you like him, then?" 

They both glanced at you with unreadable expressions. Then, they turned to look into each other's eyes.

Both you and Jaeyoon, already set on the idea, were eagerly waiting for Taeyang's permission. Obviously, you wouldn't mind if he objected, since you were about to have fun anyway…

First, he slowly moved his hands away from Jaeyoon; he spread his arms and put them up in a surrendering gesture. Then, he looked at his friend through his long lashes, mirroring his smirk. 

He nodded, and as if on a cue, Jaeyoon surged forward to press his lips against Taeyang's. Circling Taeyang's waist with his arms, Jaeyoon started pushing the guy towards the bed, not breaking the passionate kiss even for a second. 

You were sure you couldn't get any wetter, and you were all just starting; you never even dreamed of witnessing two most attractive men you've ever known playing like this in front of you - and on your order, on top of that - but here you were. Taeyang's needy little grunts only made the experience better. 

Just as they reached the edge of the bed, Jaeyoon broke the kiss to give Taeyang a hard slap on the bottom; the choked moan the boy let out being like music to your ears. To finish this private show, Jaeyoon shoved the boy onto the mattress and, to make the best of his temporary distraction, he slid Taeyang's slacks down in one harsh motion, revealing a half-hard bulge trapped in bright red briefs. 

The blush on Taeyang's face was almost the same colour, spreading through his long neck.

"Very well!", you laughed with utter satisfaction. 

Taeyang used this moment to free himself of the pulled down pants completely, not breaking eye contact with Jaeyoon. 

"Sit up, hands behind your back." Jaeyoon commanded; you've never heard him use such a harsh tone before, but you figured he just stepped into his Dom self. "No touching. Behave for us." 

Taeyang obediently did as he was told. It wasn't easy for you to not stare at his lean body. 

Meanwhile, Jaeyoon sat back in an armchair placed in front of the bed. You walked across the room to straddle his lap, facing him. An exchange of amused smiles followed. 

You threw a side glance towards Taeyang, who was now sitting propped on his arms, legs slightly spread, hungry expression on his face again. You were always proud of your backside; no wonder he couldn't look away despite the deep blush on his cheeks.

"Why don't you tell me everything about your crush on me while Jaeyoon and I get busy?" you asked playfully.

Taeyang exhaled deeply. 

"Okay." 

Jaeyoon must have developed some kind of mind connection with you after all these years, because his next question made you snort. 

"Aren't you happy I dragged you through all those back and leg days in the gym?" 

He accentuated his words by sliding his hands through your sides, only to rest them on your waist. You shivered, not having been touched like this for a long time. 

"My ass has always been better than yours," you retorted, combing your fingers through his hair. You felt so excited you almost wanted to kiss him, but you instantly became aware of Taeyang's presence in the room; so instead, you leaned forward to press your lips onto Jaeyoon's neck. This way, you gave Taeyang an even better view of your butt. 

Jaeyoon sighed quietly. You pulled on his hair to push his head to the side; with easier access, you started leaving lingering, wet kisses along his neck and shoulder, making sure your ass was on display all that time. 

You heard Taeyang gulp. 

"I… can't say it was love at first sight. It started when we were both put in Customer Service and you cut your hair short… You refused to work at phone support, they complied and I thought it was impressive."

As you continued to work on Jaeyoon's shoulders, encouraged by his laboured breathing, his hands slid through your waist, lingering over your bottom for a couple seconds, to stop on the back of your thighs. 

"It's embarrassing, but I happened to walk by the conference room during that meeting, and I heard everything." 

"Bullshit," Jaeyoon laughed under his breath, squeezing your thighs in his hands, "You checked Y/n's calendar earlier and stood under that door like a lovesick idiot, looking around all that time." 

You froze for a moment. Taeyang made a strangled, frustrated sound. 

"Okay, yes! That's what actually happened," he admitted. "You had them in your grasp the moment you walked into that room. They basically made a whole new position for you. I've never heard you speak with that tone before, it… it almost made me hard."

You were still stunned, knowing your first display of charisma in the company resulted in so much more than a comfortable job you enjoyed. Feeling your knees going weak, you sank down to sit on Jaeyoon's lap, pressing yourself against his thigh. 

Oh, shit. You were so wet. 

Jaeyoon chuckled when he noticed the wetness smearing on his skin, and gave you a light smack on the side of your leg that served more like a reminder to stay present rather than a proper slap. 

His hands traveled up your body, slowly approaching your chest area. 

"So you were climbing the ladder at the Compliance Department, while I kept taking calls, and this difference turned me on even more, since you still somehow considered me a friend…" Taeyang continued, clearly having more and more trouble speaking. "You started taking your job so seriously… You were praised for your work ethic… And you'd always say dating would only distract you from your career." 

Jaeyoon pulled you closer. He carefully cupped your breasts and, after he leaned down a bit, took one of your nipples in his mouth. 

You gasped, taken by surprise as he sucked on it slowly. 

Taeyang let out a choked sob. You couldn't see him, but you could only imagine how frustrated he must have been at this point; that, combined with the physical sensation, made you grind down on Jaeyoon's thigh. That wasn't enough, so you moved even closer until your core hovered over Jaeyoon's still clothed, rock hard bulge. Now, that was the kind of warmth you were seeking.

You exchanged a quick glance with Jaeyoon, just to make sure he was fine with this as well. He gave you a reassuring smile.

The sound of the sheets rustling distracted you from responding. 

"Don't you even think about it." Jaeyoon growled in Taeyang's direction. 

Taeyang whimpered once again, clearly on the edge. 

"I wanna take care of him," you whispered into Jaeyoon's ear, circling your arms around his neck, "Let's end this part real quick." 

Your friend murmured an understanding mhmm and propped his chin on the crook of your shoulder. You figured he was staring straight at Taeyang now. Oh, how you couldn't wait to do that too.

"You're awfully quiet for someone so desperate."

Jaeyoon caressed your back once again, finally letting his hands land on your ass. 

"Why don't you finish your little story? I'm sure Y/n would love to hear more of your pathetic whines."

With that, he squeezed handfuls of your flesh, spreading your cheeks. You were sure Taeyang could see your juices glistening on the black lace of your underwear in the dimmed lights. 

You kept still, breathing heavily. The need to squirm under Jaeyoon's firm touch was clouding your mind, but you didn't want to leave Taeyang without the visual of your briefs and inner thighs all soaking wet. 

"Most coworkers think we have a secret relationship anyway…" Taeyang struggled to keep it up. "And I wish it was true. I promise I will never try to interfere with your career… and I will do my best to get a higher position so you won't ever be ashamed of dating me…" 

Jaeyoon slid his tongue along your neck, stopping right below your ear to suck on the skin there lightly. It was soft, without using teeth, and you appreciated the tender gesture. 

"Now, just… Please… Please touch me, I beg you," Taeyang's voice was breaking. "I can't take it anymore. Please wreck me." 

That was enough, you were close to snapping as well. 

You gently pushed Jaeyoon away and did a subtle nod in Taeyang's direction. 

“You’re so worked up,” Jaeyoon whispered, giving you yet another encouraging pat on the thigh, “Be careful, don’t hurt yourself.”

You gave him a confused stare, but upon closer look, you noticed you weren’t just shivering anymore - your hands were shaking, your head was spinning, and you could barely support yourself on wobbly legs.

You carefully exhaled and stepped out of Jaeyoon’s lap, turning to face Taeyang.

The boy stared at you with glassy eyes, hands gripping the sheets behind him, legs spread, a clear outline of his cock on his briefs on display. He was just as wrecked as you expected, yet you intended to wreck him even more. 

As you walked towards the bed, you swiftly pushed down your underwear and got rid of it on your way. You stood in your full naked glory in between Taeyang's thighs, and to be honest, you never felt more confident in your entire life. 

You tangled your fingers into his hair, marvelling at how soft it felt. Then, once you reached the back of his head, you pulled it harshly so that Taeyang could look up at you fully. 

Hearing his surprised gasp gave your Dom side an enormous boost. 

"I can't believe you kept it in for so long." You said in a firm tone, slowly leaning towards his face, "I couldn't possibly let you have your way after such disappointment. It's gonna be all about me tonight." 

It took a couple seconds of intense staring into each other's eyes before Taeyang collected his thoughts enough to speak. 

"Please… Use me however you want it." 

He batted his eyelashes in a sultry way. 

"I'm all yours."

Now that you had his full permission, you closed the distance between you two with a tender kiss. Knowing your strict self turned him on, you didn't want to break the character, so you hoped this would be enough to convey your feelings. 

The kiss got deeper, but never lost its loving undertone. You untangled your fingers from Taeyang's hair and cradled his face with one hand instead, while moving the other across his neck and chest. That's when you pushed on his torso, giving him a cue to lie down. 

He whined when he had to detach from your lips, but complied without any further protest. At last, you could straddle his thighs. You kept your core mere millimeters away from his crotch that definitely needed attention. 

"I'm not gonna keep you like this for long, I've had enough waiting," you warned, lightly roaming your fingers through his ribs and stomach. Delicate muscles of his abdomen quivered under your ministrations. 

"It's fine either way," he replied under his breath, "I can last long." 

"We'll see about that." 

To make a point, you slid up to press on his length. The boy moaned loudly; his delightful sounds, as well as the friction, encouraged you to repeat the motion a few more times. Taeyang was doing better than you expected, that's for sure. He just focused on steady breathing, still gripping the sheets under him, while you felt way too close to your own climax just grinding down against him. 

You really had a treasure in your hands. 

Deciding you're done playing, you stopped to take a look at your workings. You traced the outline of his cock with your thumb. It wasn't too thick, which was actually perfect for you, but long enough to make you a bit concerned.

You pressed on the head, feeling out the slit. A wet spot appeared on the red fabric. Taeyang let out a strangled moan; it was pointless to keep him struggling like that, regardless of his promises. 

You stepped down on the floor to help Taeyang slide off his underwear. He hissed when his cock finally sprung out of the restraints. You swallowed thickly, feeling your mouth water at the sight; you couldn't wait to play with it more some other time - definitely not now, when you were ready to cum from the visual alone. 

Hopping back onto his lap again, you grabbed a condom you conveniently left by the pillow before you started. 

"Do you want me to do it for you?" You asked, not wanting to overstimulate the poor boy even further. 

"Yes, please," he begged. 

Despite your trembling and being terribly out of practice, you tried your best to put the condom on smoothly. Once it was in place, you reached to pet Taeyang's hair and cheek again. His face relaxed a bit; he even looked at you with hooded eyes. 

"Good boy." You smiled at him. "You can touch me now. I'll need your help, I've never taken such a big boy before."

Taeyang didn't need to be told twice. He used his left hand to hold the base of his cock for you. You lined your entrance with his length, feeling out of breath already, the pent up desire becoming too much to handle; you whined at the momentary discomfort when trying to sink onto Taeyang's cock, but his thumb was on your clit as soon as he heard it, gently smearing your juices on it in little circles. The touch alone put you on fire. It still wasn't enough - however, before you thought of backing off, Taeyang carefully spread your labia with his long fingers. This made things much easier for you and, after a series of small back-and-forth movements, you took in his entire length. 

You circled your hips experimentally, trying to get accustomed to the stretch - you definitely underestimated his thickness before - but once you leaned forward and felt pressure right on your sweet spot, your mind went totally blank. You didn't mean to be selfish, but it felt so overwhelming you just started grinding with Taeyang's cock fully inside you, instead of riding him properly. He didn't complain, though. He kept massaging your clit in that careful, barely-there way that only helped you focus on the delightful stretch rather than distract you, while his other hand was caressing your body wherever he could reach. You could hear his gasps too, but it was all muffled when you were so struck on chasing your orgasm. 

It hit you out of blue, embarrassingly fast, making you cry out both out of surprise and pleasure; it caught you off guard so much you almost regretted not taking your time.

The good side of it was that you could still ride Taeyang towards his climax without overstimulating yourself. You stopped moving for a moment only to grasp his wrists and move his hands onto your waist. 

"Sit up." You ordered, willing yourself into composure. 

He did as you told, anticipation burning in his eyes. You cradled his cheeks, facing him up close. 

"You did so well," you praised him, following with a deep kiss. That's when you noticed he was out of breath, just as wrecked as you wanted him to be; so ruined that when you pushed your tongue into his mouth, he sighed needily, letting his saliva drip down his chin. 

Oh, he was such a good boy. 

"Are you okay? Nothing hurts?" he whispered into the kiss. You tried to not melt because of his genuine concern, as you still had a lot planned out. 

"Don't you worry, baby. Everything's perfect." 

To prove your point, you raised your hips so only the tip was still inside you. Much to your relief, nothing hurt indeed. You were already set on coming for the second time, just to follow your somewhat underwhelming, sudden orgasm with something much better - both for your and Taeyang's pleasure.

You smoothly sank in again, then again, until you set a steady pace. You thoroughly enjoyed all the sounds Taeyang was unashamedly making, as well as his blissed out expressions, but the way he tried to make you go faster by holding onto your waist was something you would not accept. 

You stilled mid-thrust, earning a truly heartbreaking stare from Taeyang. 

"Hands off," you commanded, "Keep them behind you, on the sheets." 

You were sure you were driving him crazy at this point and you weren't even done yet, so to give him some momentary gratification, you set a fast pace, propping yourself on his shoulders. Getting so much control over the boy, as well as his desperate cries, were giving you enough energy to keep going like this for a while. 

You were amazed at the fact he didn't come yet, despite being fully hard all that time, and you knew you couldn't draw it out for much longer as you felt another orgasm approaching. Unable to hold it anymore, you decided to help yourself with your own hand.

Soon, you came again, clenching hard on Taeyang's length; the magnitude of this climax almost knocked you out.

"Please, please…" Taeyang whimpered, tears strolling down his face, "Just a little more…" 

You rode the afterglow out, already feeling Taeyang twitch, but you knew you couldn't go like this for long without the sensation becoming painful. You stilled, keeping him in all the way, squeezing around him in a set rhythm. 

You pulled harshly on his hair. 

"What a needy slut you are."

He barely managed to react to your words when you slapped his face. 

His eyes rolled back and, with a drawn out moan, he thrusted upwards into you, spilling his cum into the condom.

You felt like it took him forever to finish, however, you didn't mind it at all when you were able to observe him so out of it, staring blankly through barely open eyelids, breathing in sharp little gasps - and all of that when his hips were still so flush with yours. The warmth and throbbing you felt inside despite the synthetic barrier soothed you after all the rough treatment. 

Once Taeyang was done, he cautiously laid back onto the mattress. He pulled you into an embrace, helping you slide off his cock as gently as possible. 

Just as you nestled yourself comfortably on his chest, you got startled by a grunt to your right. You looked into that direction, with Taeyang following you immediately - Jaeyoon was leaning against the wall, his hand wrapped around his cock, streaks of cum already dripping out of his fist. 

"I'm good! I'm good," he reassured, raising his head, a slightly twisted smirk on his face. He reached for a tissue from the nightstand and wiped his hand clean.

You hated to admit it, but you kind of forgot he was there. Suddenly, the situation became a bit awkward - Jaeyoon didn't seem to be phased, though. 

"That was amazing," he huffed, voice still exasperated, "But I'd love to catch some sleep tonight." 

You didn't want to be rude, but you really weren't that keen on asking him to crash at your place when you'd rather spend the rest of the night with Taeyang in your arms without any intruders.

"I'll clean up and be on my way. No one will be surprised if you two show up together in the morning, but my folks at HR will ask me some uncomfortable questions if I come with you instead of my usual time."

When your friend approached, he surprised you with a quick smooch to your cheek, then did the same to Taeyang - none of you opposed, too tired to react. 

"Have fun, lovebirds!" Jaeyoon said, leaving the room. "Don't forget to lock the door later." 

"That guy…" you laughed quietly. You sat up to check up on Taeyang. 

Your heart wrenched at the sight beneath you: the boy just laid there with a hand loosely tangled in his hair, his cheeks shining with tears, eyelids swollen from crying and, most likely, sleepiness.

"You need a shower, baby. " You caressed the side of his face. 

"Gimme a break…" Taeyang groaned, covering his eyes. 

"I'll shower with you." 

He was up in a second. 

Half an hour later, clean and fresh after washing up, you went back to bed. The night was warm even with the windows open, so you just laid there next to each other, holding hands, not even bothering to put on any clothes. 

"That's an unusual way to start a relationship," you snorted, squeezing Taeyang's hand tighter. He seemed like a hand holding 24/7 type of a person, fingers intertwined, all that jazz. You loved it. 

"How else would we do it?" Taeyang asked, his tone dry. "Should I take you on a date? Come to your place? Watch Netflix together until we fall asleep? We've done all of that already." 

Your eyes went wide at the realization. Damn, he was right. You've had coffee and lunch dates countless times, you just never called them dates. He's been a regular guest in your apartment, and vice versa. That one time you fell asleep huddled on the couch while watching a movie was lowkey embarrassing, though - Jaeyoon was supposed to pick you two up for dinner and a movie night at the cinema, but arrived two hours late because of a family emergency. He woke you up by banging on the door; you were relieved Taeyang slept hard enough to not notice he draped his arms around you and drifted away with his nose in the crook of your neck. 

"We're sex freaks. I wouldn't have imagined a better way." 

His statement made you blush despite everything you had done before. 

"Is there anything I could do for you as a birthday present?" He asked after a longer pause, turning his head to look into your eyes. "Something you've always wanted to do." 

"I… I always…" you started, immediately catching his drift, "I always wanted to peg a pretty boy." 

You smiled at the mere possibility of your wish being granted. 

Taeyang chuckled, amused. 

"Sure. Do you have everything we need?" 

You couldn't help but laugh out loud, pulling him into a hug. He easily complied, tangling his limbs with yours in a tight embrace. 

"I do, I do!" you giggled, all giddy. "Just give me a moment, okay? I'll get the stuff in a minute."

A passionate kiss followed. You just wanted to enjoy the sensation: now that you had him all for yourself, without the desperation of your first time together, you intended to fully melt into his touch. Taeyang seemed to love it just as much, his body eagerly replying to your caresses; he wasn't shy with being vocal either, his moans and gasps matching yours. 

Soon, the kisses and touches turned rough, and once you felt his length all hot and hard on your thigh, you couldn't bother to even think of your earlier intentions. You grabbed a packet of condoms from the nightstand, tossed it to Taeyang (he almost missed it, caught off guard) and shamelessly spread your legs.

Taeyang didn't get to grant your birthday wish that night. Instead, you had two more rounds - last one with both of you so exhausted, yet still so turned on, you fell asleep right after you came. Completely vanilla, but that was all fine. You've had all the time in the world to enjoy each other and explore all of your deepest, darkest fantasies… Well, maybe except the rest of that particular night, since you had about four hours of sleep left before having to wake up to get ready for work.

Bless the company management for organizing a monthly get-together on freaking Wednesday.

[kayr0ss]

Sunday Candy

[Diakko, Fluff, Easy going Fic, Grumpy Diana, Established Relationship, Diana POV - Thinking] AO3

Summary: Diana's having a bad day. But Akko lets her know that "I'll be there in twenty!" Everything gets better as she's counting down the minutes.

--

Today was not a good day.

Diana walked briskly through campus, expression perfectly neutral save for the grip she had along the strap of her shoulder bag. It was the only outward manifestation of her temperament that she would allow, and so she poured out all her frustration into the action—so much so that her knuckles were nearly going white.

A frustrating Anatomy class followed by an equally disastrous practical test in Pharmacology. Splendid combination, if one were on a quest to discover the recipe for a medical student’s bad day.

It felt like there were thorns to her chest.

She glowered at the shrubbery of the open spaces between the buildings, finding them dull under the dreary London weather. She set her jaw while staring right into the backs of freshmen who traveled in packs of five and above, walking at the pace of snails. If only her eyes could shoot lasers beams—oh if only. Was it even legal to talk as loudly as their walking was slow? She didn’t need to hear about whatever film it was their social sciences professor imposed on them to watch. 

But she wasn’t as petty as to engage them in conversation (even if it was a reminder to uphold proper student decorum), so instead she had side-stepped along the walkway and walked faster so as to out-pace them. She scanned her eyes along campus, observing students huddled together and playing music along the benches. A dance group went over their routine at the opposite end by the grass. Funnily enough, there was a group of younger students sitting in a circle studying, comically mimicking snapshots from college websites and brochures.

It was kind of annoying. If only because her dour mood was enough to paint any sort of stimulus as unpleasant to absorb. She continued her pace towards the western end of the campus, where she was due to meet Akko for coffee at the library café. It was a passable café at best, she supposed.

Just as she was about to go on mental tirade on how distracting and unnecessary all the campus activities were, her phone vibrated along with a ‘beep.’

16:47 Akko Kagari: ‘I’ll be there in twenty! 😊’

Five words and a smiley.

Five words—looking up at her through the glass screen of her cellular phone—were enough to wash away the weariness that had settled on her shoulders. Her hand relaxed, releasing the leather strap of her bag from her death grip and she only realized after the fact that it was beginning to grow sore.

She took a deep breath, slipping her phone back into her pocket, and continued to walk.

Perhaps she was being a bit mean? She looked over her shoulder, seeing that the group of students who were walking looked lost and weren’t sure where to go. They seemed to find security in their number, excited to deepen what looked like a freshly-blossoming friendship. Perhaps wishing ocular lasers upon them was a bit too much.

Ah but they were so loud!

Diana huffed through her nose, turning back towards the direction of the library. A cup of coffee, a slice of cake, and the presence of her girlfriend were sorely needed if her temper was anything to go by.

Ah. Her girlfriend.

By the time she had crossed through the open spaces along the center of campus it was only fifteen-minutes-to-Akko.

And, okay—maybe she was being overly dramatic about the plants and the weather. While she walked, she put effort into watching the gardens and shrubbery—she noticed they were about to bloom. The milder weather meant their flowers didn’t wilt away, and she fondly recalled many afternoons spent hand-in-hand with the brunette through this very walkway, taking their time to notice how deeply red the petals were.

Like her eyes.

Diana smiled at herself without realizing it. Now that was cheesy.

It was the first smile she had pulled for that entire afternoon and she almost shook her head. “Right.” She mumbled, mostly to herself. “I was in the middle of being grumpy, I believe.”

It would take several minutes to walk from the medical wing to the library. In the journey in-between she had encountered more groups of students practicing in the open spaces. Some danced, like the earlier group, while others had huddled together with their instruments to practice for some sort of performance.

“You gotta slow down to listen to the music!”

Her girlfriend had told her this once. Diana let urgent pace of her footfalls slow into an easier pace. They were singing a song she’d heard Akko sing before—something uplifting that sounded like it had a lot of love to give.

Like Akko.

‘You gotta move slolwy’—they sang.

And then her easy walking fell to a full stop, even for just a minute, and then she smiled. It was from a mixture of the anticipation of seeing Akko, and remembering the sound of her voice.

‘Take in my body like it’s holy’

Perhaps she’d take back what she said about the how unnecessary campus activities were. Especially when they could be as pleasant as this—so effective at pacifying the embers of her temper that were threatening to smother her only minutes before.

Which reminded her—as pleasant as the song was, she had a café library go to.

At ten-minutes-to-Akko, she had forgotten all about the woes of her earlier Anatomy class.

The weather felt much more agreeable now, a pleasant chill against her skin that encouraged the need to hold or be held. It was overcast. How could she have missed this as she walked out of the medical building earlier? Perhaps, after coffee, she’d invite Akko for a walk. The notion of it excited her, and she was surprised to find a spring in her step that would have felt foreign to Diana of a little less than fifteen minutes ago.

She finally walked up the steps to the library entrance, pushing through the double-doors to find a picturesque scene of students milling about the grand central common area, speaking in hushed tones while they buried their noses in either books or computers. Once again, it looked right out of a brochure—but instead of irritation she found it was… wonderous.

It’s as though she could watch and see the essence of ‘learning’ come to life right in front of her; that mood websites and photobooks tried so hard to convey except… alive.

She checked her watch and saw that Akko should be arriving in about five minutes tops.

And that made her feel alive.

The café was at the back of the library, a relaxed environment that was much quieter than the cafes around and within campus—but it smelled just as lovely. It was tastefully furnished and never crowded, and their coffee and pastries were actually better than most. ‘Passable at best’ suddenly felt like a lapse of judgement, and she bemoaned her past self for ever having thought of this place as such.

There were butterflies her stomach, and they chased away the remnants of frustration Pharmacology had left her.

Three minutes before Akko’s arrival, she was reminded of how pleasant the ambience was—with colors that were vibrant but easy on the eyes. There was a little bit of white noise, a clink of the glass here and there, along with the steady, low rumble of chatter. But somehow it added character.

For all her overthinking, she supposed she was a simple woman. She tried to hold in a smile, sitting in her favorite café, wondering what could have upset her so much earlier?

Diana couldn’t remember anymore, nor could she care.

Five words, a smiley—and the reminder that she was going to be here soon had helped her forget.

The first thing she felt were a pair of hands settling on her shoulders along with the weight of a chin setting on top of her head. It was followed by a voice so familiar that her tense shoulders relaxed the moment she could hear it.

“Hey.”

There was soft kiss to her temple. A hand that reached for hers. The moment they had threaded their fingers together, she realized there were no thorns left to pluck out of her chest.

She saw a smile and flash of dazzling red eyes. Diana smiled back, feeling easy.

“’Hey’ to you, too”

At zero minutes to Akko’s arrival, she realized that everything would be okay.

And that today was a good day.

--

You gotta move it slowly

Take it in my body like it's holy

I've been waiting for you for the whole week

I've been praying for you, you're my Sunday candy

--

fin

--

A/N: I was (and am) in such a good mood because of this song. You guys have no idea - dancing in my room and just vibing kind of good mood. I felt like, for Diana, Akko would be someone who'd have that kind of effect on her. All the bad just kinda... goes away! Anyway this was a silly little idea and I hope it works out.

Gifting it to @shmehua1 who I remember through this song because we both like it, she is awesome, and well, she's one of my best buddies out here in the LWA fandom! Love you bro - you know this to be true!

[anotherbeingsworld]

the promise of happiness

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x F!MC (Alessia Lyxienne)

Book: Open Heart

Rating: G , TW: mentions of surgery.

Prompts by @choicesjunechallenge2021 Day 1 – plot twist

Summary: Alessia's ex is in town, and its quite a reunion. <3

A/N: hiii, so I decided to participate in the challenge and well, write lots of Bryce before we have to say goodbye to him soon. So, this is kinda (hopefully) become a writing spree for me - like a Bryce appreciation-ish of my own. I have some plans already - and, I can't wait to share them! Also, a huge shoutout to @appiomofchoice for a lot of her help on this fic and the upcoming ones! Enjoy! (also, I will start to use a new mc name! however, she is who casey is but, with a new name instead hehe) // i dont own any characters except mc and brian lewis. (and, i apologize for grammar errors and any errors in this story)

-

It was supposed to be a normal day, however, the gasped that escaped her signals that the day is going to be an adventure. As she stood beside Bryce, both of them were facing a familiar face who she knows all too well. Brian Lewis, the Brian Lewis. The knowing smirk on his face as his gaze falls onto her brings back all the memories during her time at med school before.

He was a senior, a few years older than her. As they started to get to know one another through a mentoring session with Dr. Lisbon in her anatomy class. They started to go out in a matter of months, as their study sessions become quite intimate in the past – before, breaking up as Brian left for an opportunity to continue his residency in London. They were on good terms, and seeing him again in front of her brought back old memories.

“Dr. Lyxienne, are we clear?” The sound of Harper’s voice pulled her out of a trance, as she was pulled back into reality.

“I’m sorry, would you repeat that once more?”

Harper nods, before introducing him to her – as Bryce raised an eyebrow at the man.

“This is Dr. Brian Lewis from John Hopkins – and, he will assist us in one of the diagnostics team cases.” Brian takes his hand out towards her as Bryce took it before Alessia could do anything.

“Nice to meet you, Dr. Lewis, I’m Dr. Bryce Lahela and this is…”

“The Dr. Lyxienne of course! How have you been Alessia?” He said with a huge smile on his face, as Alessia froze, not knowing or mentally preparing herself where her boyfriend met his ex.

“I’m doing fine, thank you, Dr. Lewis.” The formality makes him take a step back as the atmosphere around them becomes awkward.

“Well, Dr. Lewis – we will see you at the diagnostics office soon. It’s nice to meet you.” Harper shook his arm again, with a smile before leaving the room.

The three of them stood awkwardly, before Alessia’s pagers started to beep – as she quickly runs away from the scene any further.

The two men stood quietly before Bryce left the room as well – leaving a sighing Brian in the office.

-

Bryce’s pager started to vibrate, as he was called into the diagnostics office as he finished with an appendectomy. With a satisfied smile on his face, he was met with a full office – consists of Dr. Emery, Dr. Ramsey, Alessia, Dr. Carrick, and Brian who are discussing their new case.

“Bryce, welcome. Dr. Lewis, this is one of our top surgeons in our department– Dr. Bryce Lahela.” Harper stated before Bryce taking a seat beside Alessia who looks nervous upon the encounter.

“It's good to see you again Dr. Lahela.” His voice was rough with a hint of softness in it.

Bryce nods before he was passed with a copy of the case itself.

“Based on the check-up we did, we found that the patient has suffered from spinal osteomyelitis. It is known as an infection of the vertebrae – it is a rare case, however still dangerous overall.” His presence is commanding as the others listen to it intently.

“How dangerous is it?” Alessia’s voice can be heard as all eyes fall on her.

Brian smiles, as he explains.

“Infections on the spine can be extremely dangerous along with the surgery on that are can be risky with the probability that may lead to a case of paralysis or even more infection.”

She nods intently, as the room went quiet once more.

“When will the surgery be performed? I’m guessing the sooner, the better right?” Tobias adds along with the conversation.

“I suspect we kept her in for a couple of days, to make some additional check-ups. But, if a timeline was needed – definitely as soon as we could.” He concludes before taking a seat.

After a while of discussion – the team was dispersed.

“Dr. Emery, I have to ask why was I picked by Dr. Lewis for the surgery?”

“Dr. Tanaka recommended your name and he wanted to take you in this round. I have to go now for a meeting, but – if you have any questions, Dr. Lewis can answer it for you about the surgery.” He nods as Harper was out of his sight.

-

Alessia sits on her own, as the dish in front of her remains uneaten due to the textbooks on the table. She was quite occupied with the text in front of her without realizing she had some company awaits her.

Her gaze falls onto the familiar gray eyes looking at her – with the familiar smile since before. Brian was sitting opposite her.

“Yes, Dr. Lewis, what do you need?”

“It’s me Alessia, can we talk – why are you avoiding me?” His voice somewhat remains strong, as Alessia tries to avoid the question.

“I…don’t know. It's weird seeing you again after all these years.” She begins her argument, as Brian nods in understanding.

“I can quite say the same, you look as beautiful as years ago.” He compliments her, as she smiles and lets out a chuckle.

“Thank you. I gotta say – you look as good as you did years ago. But, why Edenbrook, what are you doing here even?” Alessia shuts the textbook, as she looked him in the eyes.

“Dr. Emery was a colleague of mine before, and she requested me to come by for the surgery. I didn’t expect you’d be here.” His gaze falls down upon his hands.

She nods, not knowing how to reply as the silence follows for a moment.

“I know it's an unexpected encounter. It might be weird seeing your ex after all these years, but…I am glad that I got to see you again Alessia.” He says with a smile on his face, the genuine expression she knew all too well from years ago.

Before she could reply, she saw Bryce making his way to her. She smiles at him, as Brian follows her gaze meeting his eyes. He waved at him, before glancing his way back to her. The wide smile on her face still presents on her face, as Bryce took a seat beside them.

“Dr. Lewis, Alessia.” He greeted them both, as Brian's gaze fall onto them both. How comfortable they looked together before he excuses himself from the table.

“I’ll see you in surgery Dr. Lahela, and Alessia.” He smiles before leaving the cafeteria.

-

Bryce’s gaze follows his trail until he left the cafeteria.

“So, I think I have been out of the loop as your boyfriend – but, who is he?” His eyebrows were raised at Brian’s empty seat.

She lets out a small chuckle,

“He is…my -ex in med school actually.” She lets the truth set free, as Bryce looks at her in awe actually.

“Well, you certainly had upgraded.” He jokes as a wink followed before she elbows him playfully.

“Very funny Bryce.” She says before opening her textbook again.

She feels his eyes on him, as she glances his way. He somehow looked nervous suddenly.

“How do you feel when you see him again?”

She thought about it,

“It feels like nostalgic, yet – the story between us has ended years ago. You don’t have to worry alright.” She winks at him, as Bryce lets out a mock laugh – as a response.

“I’m not worried! Never, nope.”

“Whatever you say, Bryce.” She said before leaning in for a kiss, as they continue to spend the remaining time together studying about the upcoming surgery.

-

It was days later, as Bryce preps for the surgery alongside Brian. The OR was quiet, as they were the only ones there. A few seconds later, the surgical assistant arrives alongside the on-lookers consists of other surgeons.

He took a deep breath before they began the procedure, the gallery above them was filled with doctors – as Bryce could recognize a few to name. Dr. Emery and Dr. Tanaka are whispering subtlely, Dr. Ramsey alongside Dr. Carrick and even Dr. Banerji are there. As his gaze moved towards the left, he was shocked to see Alessia sitting by the end of the gallery – as she waves his way. He smiles, before resuming his role alongside Brian.

The clock was ticking slowly, as he observes Brian’s work and was impressed by his handiwork. They switched tasks in between the surgery – and he felt alive at that moment.

“Dr. Lahela, pass me the lancet.” Bryce nods as one of the nurses passes it his way.

Brian was focused on his work before he blurted a question in the middle of the surgery itself.

“So, you are the boyfriend I assume.” His voice is low as Bryce look at him with wide eyes.

He nods, as Brian continues on the surgery with such ease in his work.

“How long have you been together?”

“We just made it official, but…almost three years.” He says proudly behind his surgical mask.

There was a pause in between before he says.

“Years ago, I knew that smile on her face – along with the look in her eyes, she really does loves you. And, when Alessia loves someone - she will go over mountains for you.” He said suddenly – as it felt like a promise for him.

Bryce nods and smiles to himself, remembering the moments they had gone through together.

“I know.” I will, an unspoken promise was said between the quiet atmosphere of the OR. As, a smile was visible on Brian's face - somehow he got the message.

As the procedure goes on, a couple of hours had passed – they survived the procedure after a couple roadblocks along the way. The patient has the last resort on the surgery – Bryce took the lead to amputate the affected limb to stop the infection from spreading further. And, at that note – the surgery was over.

They cleaned up from their dirty scrubs as the night has grown late for them both.

“Dr. Lahela – you did an exceptional job today.”

He smiles, feeling the glowing pride in himself.

“Thank you for giving me the chance to join in the surgery, Dr. Lewis.” He replies as Brian nods before they both started to go on separate ways.

-

It’s the day after the surgery, as Alessia stumbles upon Brian who is hugging Dr. Emery – somewhat as a gesture of farewell. As they went their separate ways, his eyes met with hers – a smile on his face.

“Hey.” He begins to conversation.

“Hi, leaving already?”

“Yeah, unfortunately, I have an emergency meeting with the head of surgery at John Hopkins in a few hours.” He explains as she nods in understanding.

“Well, it's good to see you again which is… very weird to say.” She lets out a laugh as Brian lets out a chuckle.

“It's good to see you too. It's been years, and I’m glad to see you thriving here Alessia.” He smiles as they hugged.

“Thanks to your pop-quizzes on anatomy that's what keeping me here.” She winks at the joke, as they let go of the hug.

“Well, I’m glad I could play a part in the memoir of Dr. Alessia Lyxienne then.”

She nods, as he checks on the time.

“I have to leave before the traffic gets insane – but, say ‘hi’ to Bryce for me? And, if he ever hurts you – just know I’ll be ready to kick his ass for you.”

“No need, I think he’ll make me happy.” She said wistfully, as Brian smiles even wider.

“Don’t forget to invite me to the wedding then.” He winks before leaving the hospital grounds.

He stopped in his tracks, as he gazes back at where he was before. Bryce and Alessia were seen happily smiling together, he smiles – feeling happy for them both.

-

At that moment, Bryce’s eyes met with his as he waves to him. Brian waves back, as in a second – he was gone out of their sight.

“He said ‘hi’ by the way.”

Bryce nods, as he remembers the words during the surgery – it felt like a promise for him to make her happy. He smiles, as he will keep that promise and make Alessia the happiest woman in the world with him.

THE END.

tags: @bitchloveskcbaseball , @mvalentine , @storyofmychoices , @princess-geek , @lahellacute , @annekebbphotography , @mrsbhandari, @dcbbw , @choicessa , @fantasyoverreality98 , @baltersome , @ofpixelsandscribbles , @thundergom , @starrystarrytrouble , @kelseaaa , @choicesficwriterscreations , @lalizah , @drethanramslay , @eleanorbloom , @openheartfanfics , @brycesgirl , @freckles-spangledvampire , @agentnolastname , @robintora , @adriansbiss , @appiomofchoice , @ariondevereux , @natureblooms24

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X15

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Wow! A lot happened in this episode. It was billed as Jackson’s goodbye episode, but it turned out to be so much more than that. Meredith got discharged and was reunited with her kids, Tom decided to move to Boston to work for Jackson, and we got the show’s first Indigenous doctor and patient storyline! I honestly think Jackson’s farewell was really well done! While it’s true he could do the work he wants to do just as easily from Seattle everything else about his exit makes sense to me. He’s tired of sitting on the sidelines and he wants to make real change where he can.

I loved his conversation with Meredith and how he was the one to sneak her out. I loved Meredith's voice over for this episode and how it followed Jackson's actions and the flashback montage set to music. I thought it was fitting. I would have liked him to have said goodbye to Ben because they were the Plastics Posse until he left to become a firefighter but apart from that I was happy with it. The character has come such a long way during his run on the show and I feel like this episode reflected that.

The editing was really well done too. Especially the shot of him overlooking the lobby. That transition was seamless. I loved his goodbye scene with Meredith. It made me so emotional. I love that Meredith tried to lighten the mood by making a joke about how she won because she's the last one standing. That scene when she hugged the pillow after he left because she misses him and everyone else really got me. I also really liked the conversation he had with Bailey and Richard.

I'm glad he said a proper goodbye to Jo although I didn't find it super emotional. In addition to Ben, I would also like to have seen a goodbye with Maggie. I'm surprised they didn't do that. Maggie was so focused on Meredith's recovery that it's not clear if she even knows that Jackson is moving to Boston. They also could have done a big emotional scene with Catherine. On a lighter note, I am so happy that Meredith is doing better for real this time and has been discharged! I've been waiting for this since the mid-season point.

I loved the scene where she was reunited with her kids and Amelia was panicking about the state of the house and Meredith told her it was fine and that was just how she liked it. Meredith getting Jackson to sneak her out of the hospital felt very in character to me. As her voice over says Meredith isn't one for tradition or big hullabaloos which is why I think the others tried to keep it a secret. I'm not surprised that she ducked out early. While I get why the other characters wanted to do a big send off for her, I feel like they should know by now that's not her style.  

I loved the scene where Amelia and Link found out Meredith might be coming home, and they hugged and then Link said he had to go to work and Amelia started crying and then asked why he was still there. Link was so confused and then Amelia told him she’d be crying off and on like that all day to get her emotions out and that she’d be fine and he needed to go to work. That is so Amelia! But in a good way. Post-tumour and with her addiction under control even in a pandemic Amelia is now able to express her emotions in a healthy way so she doesn’t relapse or spin out of control. That is such huge growth for her. I loved the scene at the end with her and Meredith.

The smile that they share. The look between them. You could see early seasons Private Practice Amelia in that look but also mature and stable new Amelia. I loved that Amelia was all worried about the state of the house and Meredith was fine with it being a mess because as a working Mom she knows what it’s like and all she wanted was to be at home with her kids in her messy house.

At the end of the episode we find out that Tom’s near death experience with COVID has caused him to re-evaluate his life. He feels lucky to have lived to have been spared and he wants to help Jackson make real change in Boston. On the one hand I was surprised by Tom’s exit, but on the other hand I wasn’t. I love Tom and will truly miss his character, but ever since the affair came out and he and Teddy split and she started working on trying to repair her relationship with Owen, Tom hasn't had a lot to do.

I'm sad they didn't do more with him because he's such a great and complex character and I know some people had speculated they might pair him up with Mama Ortiz which could have been interesting. I'm sad we didn't get to see him say goodbye to Amelia, Link, Teddy, Catherine, or Meredith. Tom and Amelia are old friends, he trained her, he took out her brain tumour, and she rushed to the hospital when she heard he had been admitted for COVID-19.

Tom and Link seemed to be getting along as of late and Tom was ready to be a father to Teddy's baby before she got back together with Owen. He found her the perfect apartment and he built a crib for a child that wasn’t biologically his that he was so excited to meet and be a Dad to. All this after his own son died and his marriage collapsed as a result. He treated her like gold and she’s done nothing but treat him horribly for no reason. I don't think I’ll ever forgive Teddy for that.

Catherine and Tom are also old friends that go back even farther. She appointed him as Chief Medical Officer of the Fox Foundation. She told him about DeLuca’s death and took him to the Memorial. When Richard was sick, she told him she wanted him to take over the Foundation in her absence. Tom and Meredith had such an emotional scene earlier this season and he's been praying for her every day. Does she know that? Does Meredith know that Tom has been praying for her and worrying about her? I was expecting a follow up scene to that, so I hope we get one.

I found the patient storyline that Tom, Levi, and Indigenous intern James Chee had really moving. Grey's has never had an Indigenous patient or doctor on the show before and while the dialogue did feel heavy handed at times, they brought some really important issues to light and were trying to make up for lost time so that’s understandable.  

Robert I. Mesa who plays Dr. Chee is Navajo Soboba and the patients that they treat at Coast Salish whose traditional territory encompasses the province of British Columbia, Canada and the states of Washington and Oregon in the United States. It’s really great to see an Indigenous actor bring stories about Indigenous characters to life in a realistic way for the same reason that it’s important to see black, brown, Asian, latinx, and LGBTQ+ actors bring stories about characters like themselves to life. It brings authenticity and ensures sure that white straight cisgender people aren’t taking roles away from people within those communities.

When I found out through Twitter that the show had cast its first Indigenous doctor, I was very excited. I work for an Indigenous organization currently and so Indigenous representation is an issue that is very near and dear to my heart. The first thing that came to mind for me was the Coast Salish artwork you see in the background of so many scenes of the show. From the show’s earliest seasons, you can see beautiful art pieces in red, blue, and black depicting fish, birds, and other animals on the walls of the hospital and in people’s offices.

Yet it is never addressed or mentioned that that is Coast Salish artwork. In order for it to be there someone from the art department must have travelled to Seattle to buy some local artwork to put up around the hospital. While that’s great for making the hospital look authentic to the area by not mentioning its origins or the fact that Indigenous people exist for 16 seasons does all Indigenous people a disservice. Indigenous people are not stereotypes or tokens or simply makers of pretty pictures.

Every group has their own culture, artwork, language, and traditions. I’m glad that Grey’s Anatomy is finally acknowledging the existence of Indigenous Americans and the fact that Indigenous people exist and continue to exist despite repeated ruthless attempts to murder and assimilate them. This is a huge problem in the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and other nations. While in the last few years Indigenous issues have gotten greater coverage in Canadian media there isn’t as much media coverage of Indigenous issues in the United States.

I love that Tom and Levi treated both the pregnant woman and her grandfather with respect and dignity and didn't dismiss their concerns or mock their traditions. I love that Tom actually had some knowledge of smudging ceremonies and that he referred to Dr. Chee respectfully when needed and allowed him to perform a smudging ceremony for the grandfather. When the pregnant patient’s husband thanks them and says that in the past they haven’t had great experiences in big hospitals that is unfortunately a sad reality for many.

Like other people of people and other marginalized and oppressed groups the concerns of Indigenous patients are often not taken seriously, and they often encounter racism that leads to poorer treatment and death. When the pregnant patient talks about how their centres are under resourced and that they were sent body bags instead of medical supplies that is a real thing. The Trump Administration actually did that in the States and the Harper Government here in Canada did that during the H1N1 Epidemic.

Thankfully, here in Canada the COVID-19 Pandemic response of the Trudeau Government has been worlds better. No sending of body bags and instead medical supplies and lots of relief money has been given to Indigenous organizations like mine to help real people. Indigenous Canadians have also been given priority status for vaccinations and as a result people are alive today that would have died previously. Now that’s not to say things are perfect here. There are still so many issues that need to be addressed including police violence, discrimination within the justice system, and the rate of missing and murdered Indigenous women. But at least some progress is being made.

The fact that they wrote Tom off reminded of an old adage about Grey’s Anatomy that I heard someone talking about at the start of this season which is that if there isn’t anyone significant for a character to date and you’re not an original character your days on the show are numbered. The fact that they wrote Tom off after putting Teddy and Owen back together makes me even more sure that Meredith and Hayes are going to end up together and that their relationship will be a key plot point of Season 18.

If that wasn’t the plan, I don’t think Hayes would still be there. There have been episodes this season where he has been very prominent, episodes where he’s been completely absent, and episodes like this one where he has a few short scenes. He wouldn’t still be there hanging around in the background if the plan wasn’t to set him up with Meredith. To me the only explanation that makes sense is that they are going to put Meredith and Hayes together hopefully before Season 17 ends.

Side note, I bet all of the actors who passed on being Meredith’s love interest or backed out for a movie or tv role on a newer show probably feel real dumb right now. Grey’s is about to go into its 18th season and Richard Flood who plays Hayes is getting paid mad bank whether he’s prominently in the episode or not! Plus, he slays that role. While the path they took to get here was bumpy I’m so glad that we got Hayes as a character and we’ve gotten to see his relationship with Meredith develop.

I would have loved to see more of Hayes this episode. I was expecting a scene in which he visited Meredith and I was a bit disappointed we didn’t get that. I get that the focus of the episode was on Jackson’s departure, Meredith being discharged, and Tom’s epiphany, but it would have been nice to see that. The scenes we did get were great! I love his dry sense of humour and his comments about Jo’s terrible handwriting.

My favourite moment of the episode was hands down when Hayes came to clap out Meredith with everyone else and then Perez came out and they realized that she had snuck out early and Hayes laughed and said, "Nice one Grey, Brillant!" And then he wished everyone a good night and headed out. If Meredith isn't there, he's out. He’s not even trying to hide his feelings for Meredith anymore. It’s an open secret that he likes her and is clearly smitten. Hell, at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if the janitors have a group chat about it.

I love that he laughed about it like it was some big cosmic joke they were both in on. He knows her so well. Everyone else was confused and her sisters were worried when they didn’t hear from her, but Hayes wasn’t worried because he knew she’d snuck out the back and that someone must have helped her. Speaking of romance, I’m guessing that next season they will bring in a new Head of Plastic Surgery for Jo to date. I feel like they will have more luck finding someone than they did when they tried to hire a new love interest for Meredith over the last few years because right now work is scarce.  

Also, in the romance department Teddy and Owen are back together. I'm happy for them, but other than that I don't really have any strong feelings about it. I am happy that they seem to be good and that the fighting and long-drawn-out drama is over. I've never been a ride or die Teddy and Owen shipper, so I don't feel an emotional rush seeing them back together. I loved Tom and Teddy together so I'm sorry that ended especially since Teddy and Owen have always been such a mess.

I think that they should have spent less time fighting and more time rebuilding their friendship before getting back together. We spent the first half of the season watching them fight non-stop and Owen made it clear he wanted nothing to do with Teddy ever again. Teddy treated Tom like crap while trying to win Owen back who clearly didn’t want her. While I’m glad they have reconciled, and the drama appears to be over I wish they had spent less time on the fighting and more time on exploring Teddy’s trauma and having them rebuild their friendship if that was the route they were going to go.

We also get more details about Maggie and Winston’s wedding this episode. I posited on Twitter a few days ago that I thought Maggie might ask both her dads Bill and Richard to walk her down the aisle as she'd want to include both of them in the ceremony. I think having Bill walk her down the aisle and Richard officiate is lovely. It reminds me of when Bailey stepped up to officiate Callie and Arizona's wedding.

I’d like to see more interactions between Meredith and Winston and Meredith and Link in the future as both men have become a part of the family largely while Meredith was sick so it would be great to see them get to know each other and bond. I really loved the scene between Winston, Link, and Owen where Winston was trying to figure out if Teddy and Owen were back together and Winston and Owen were teasing Link about the Sister House. It’s nice to see them all bond. It would be even better if they would all have more scenes with Hayes and for them to bond as well. I hope to see more of that next season.

I get why Link wants to get out of the Sister House, but I think he was a bit unrealistic about the situation. Meredith just got discharged. Amelia and Maggie aren’t going to want to leave her side until she tells them she’s ready and it’s okay for them to go and take a step back. I foresee them going with a hybrid approach next season where Maggie and Winston move to his place following the wedding and Link, Amelia, and Scout move to Link's place, but they still spend time at Meredith's house frequently. I imagine after being away from her kids for so long at some point Meredith is going to want her house back and to spend time alone with her kids.

I'm interested to see Meredith talk about her time on the beach in the upcoming episodes. Richard and Bailey were struggling to figure out how to tell her about DeLuca’s death but we the audience knew that Meredith already knew he had died. When she coded previously, and Ellis Grey passed away the first words out of her mouth were about her mother being dead. But here we see something different. When Meredith wakes up this season the first words out of her mouth are about how much she and Derek love Zola. She uses the word ‘we’ so the audience knows what she’s talking about, but the characters don’t.

It appears that at least a week has passed since the previous episode possibly two and we learn that Meredith hasn’t brought up her time on the beach or her visits from the dead to anyone. I think that she’s keeping that to herself for a few reasons. She didn’t want to leave the beach and telling that to the people who just spend the past three months trying desperately to save her life would probably come across as suicidal and upsetting. The conversations between her and Derek were personal and private, and she may not be ready to share them just yet.

Her conversations with George, Lexie, and Mark were also pretty personal so she might not be ready to talk about that either. In this episode we see her tell Bailey and Richard that DeLuca is okay because he’s with his mother. The scene cuts away, so we don’t know what else she tells them. Hopefully we’ll find out next week. My guess is that the first person she’ll talk to about the beach in the following episodes will be Hayes because he will understand her desire to stay because of how he lost his wife.

He won’t see her desire to stay on the beach as suicidal or crazy because he would probably think about doing the same thing if given the opportunity. We saw Meredith be really vulnerable with Hayes when she first got sick about her fears of dying and falling asleep. They’ve talked at length about their spouses and their past relationships in a way she hasn’t with other characters. I feel like he is the perfect person to talk to about what happened on the beach because he won’t judge Meredith or take her desire to stay personally.

They’ve already established that Hayes is a supportive and understanding person who is happy to sit there and listen to Meredith talk about her experience of dating after death and past relationships and so I think he’s someone Meredith can open to about what it was like to see Derek again, what it was like to realize her ex-boyfriend was dying, what is what like to get closure with George, and gain wisdom from Lexie and Mark. I’m hoping that will happen in next week’s episode and if not in the finale.

We saw Helm having a tough time this episode. I think Helm moving in with Levi and Jo is a good idea. I think it will give Helm the support she needs and I'm glad Levi is there for her. We haven't seen Jo and Helm interact much so far, so I'm interested to see how Jo is going to feel about her moving in. Also, where is Helm going to sleep? Jo and Levi live in a one room loft where Jo sleeps in a large bed and Levi sleeps on the couch. I would have liked to have seen more scenes along the way building up to this as Levi and Helm haven't had a scene all season and now right at the end you see him trying to help her. I also really miss Parker as a character. I wish they brought him back as well as Helm.

Something I didn’t like was that they seem to be focusing on DeLuca, his death, and his absence more than they should. I get that the writers and people behind the scenes liked the actor who played him, but the character himself was pretty widely detested by the other characters for seasons 15 and 16 so having them talk about him like he was such a great guy that everyone was super close to and that they all miss feels hollow to me and kind of annoying.

DeLuca and Meredith were not that close. They weren’t friends and rarely had a scene together prior to Season 15. They stopped talking entirely after he broke up with her in Season 16 and they weren’t friends when he died. So, talking about how he would have been so happy for her and one of the first people to cheer her on is strange. Also, I felt like Jo’s comments to Carina were out of place. I get that when someone dies its customary to say nice things about them to their family and Carina is mentoring Jo and she’s grateful for that, but DeLuca was god awful to her.

They become really good friends after Alex attacked him but then they stopped being friends when she got back together with Alex. They stopped having scenes together after that until he took an interest in Meredith at which time Jo and Alex both made it abundantly clear to his face and behind his back that they disliked him, and they hated the idea of him and Meredith together. All he did was antagonize both of them during seasons 15 and 16 for absolutely no reason and then after Alex left DeLuca walked up to Jo at the Emerald City Bar touched her without her consent and attempted to kiss her and get her to sleep with him to the point that she wound up throwing a drink in his face to get him to leave her alone.

He then told the bartender she was crazy after she told him to get some help. That’s sexual assault and attempted rape and DeLuca should have gone to jail for what he did. Instead we never see it addressed, he never apologizes, and they don’t share a single together after that. My hope is that they will finally moving on from talking about DeLuca and his absence next season. It’s getting a bit ridiculous at this point and it’s time to move on.

Onto next week’s promo! We don’t get a lot of information from this one. We see Bailey talking about how she’s losing surgeons left, right, and centre and she can’t afford to lose anymore and Meredith talking about how she can’t operate if she can’t stand on her feet. She’s worried she might never get back to operating, but this is Grey’s Anatomy so we know she will. Link talks to Amelia about wanting more children which considering that Scout is only a few months old and they couldn’t wait to get out of the house full of children just last week is a terrible idea. Link finally calls Jo on the fact that she clearly wants to adopt Luna who promptly codes! Yikes!

Until next time!

[hawkland]

Destiel fic recs/what I’ve been reading (round #2)

I promised (eventually!) more fic recs and I figured I’d better do it soon before my list to talk about got TOO long. Also I’m just bubbling to praise up an amazing fic I read last night that literally has given me a fanfic hangover this morning and I need you all to suffer with me.

Starting with that fic in question:

Aria for an Angel (84k) by anyrei, mugglerock. I hurt all over from this one and I command you to do the same.

That said, DO NOT READ if you can’t stand the idea of Cas finding love/happiness with someone else (even if the fic is endgame Destiel). Also don’t read if you can’t stand your heart being shattered by pain before being carefully put back together again. Those warnings aside, this is one of the most stunning fics I’ve read yet in SPN fandom and I’m going to rec it at you no matter what. I’ve been feeling very pissy at Dean lately, as I’m on season 12 in my complete watch-thru, and with how much Cas has been suffering and getting beaten down for, like, SEASONS now. And it got me looking for fics where Cas gets some of the TLC/love/care that he needs from someone else, at least until Dean can get his shit together. Enter Mick Davies. Mick comes to Cas for help with a case that ends up involving a Grigori, and the two grow closer as Cas enjoys spending time with someone who genuinely expresses care and concern for him...but when Dean finds out will he have to choose between the Winchesters, his found family on Earth, and his new boyfriend? And when tragedy strikes, is it too late for a second chance at his first love again?

This story is funny, hot, heartbreakingly sad and just completely wrung me out emotionally. The characterizations totally worked for me, the growth they all went through was the kind of stuff I only wish the writers of the show could pull off. There’s just...there’s so much pain and love and some good stuff with poor Sam and Mary caught in the middle of this shitstorm and I wasn’t sure I could be brought back around to wanting Cas and Dean together in the end, but the authors pulled it off and everything about this story hurts, and heals, in the best possible way.

The rest of my recs in this round-up beneath the cut.

Seek to Know You Better (32k) by ahurston. Season 15 canon-divergence—so no Empty, no rusty nail, but things are relatively calm and settled in the hunter/Winchester world. As such Dean and Cas go on a road-trip together, investigate some minor cases, and gradually open up and really TALK via a “36 Questions That Lead to Love” article Cas finds on-line. One of those fics that just gives you a happy glow inside to read; it feels very believable and the characters have a maturity and adultness to them that just feels right. The little details of all the places they stop for food while talking are a delight, and it’s just the right amount of pining (for me) before they finally get things together.

Purgatory, director's cut (27k) by runsinthefamily. THIS IS THE ULTIMATE PURGATORY FIC (well, in my reading adventures so far.) Written (apparently?) before season 8 actually aired, it takes a very different - and weirdly creative and bizarre - look at what purgatory would be like. And if Cas stuck with Dean through it all.  It also posits that as a human Dean would be “allergic” to purgatory and need Cas’s grace to hold himself together...but the deeper they travel, trying to get out, the more precarious Cas’s hold on his vessel becomes. I love everything about this fic, the weird imagery, the way Dean just...rolls with everything happening to Cas and still loving him because it’s Cas, not his vessel, that’s important.

Grooming Instincts (26k) by jemariel. More wing!kink which...yeah. Gimme all the wing grooming/back massages and weird angel anatomy, please. Cas is grumpy while going through what he describes as “molting” only...it’s a bit more complicated than that. And Dean has no idea what he’s gotten himself into until Cas starts grooming him...and Kevin is able to translate/figure out what’s happened. Funny and hot and just...a yummy happy read with great bits from Sam, Kevin and Charlie for good measure.

Things that Leave Marks (23k) by thestoryinsideme. Canon-divergent from Season 9.  Wherein it takes Dean three years to find Cas after getting kicked out of the bunker. And when he does, it’s apparent he’s been through a lot, and he’s not exactly ready to or certain about going back to life with the Winchesters. This was sad and sweet and fluffy and angsty in all the right ways for a comfort fic read. (Also features Cas the budding artist! I love that idea!)

Wavelength-gasm (11k) by Mumble-Bee. The fuck or die trope gets a very fun twist when it involves needing to fuck an angel in his true form. Dean certainly learns this the hard way! This rec is for all the trueform!Cas-loving freaks like me out there...I’ve certainly never seen a smut fic embrace the weirdness of it all like this one.

Drive Faster Sammy (7k) by almaasi. Speaking of fuck-or-die fics, pray for Sam in this one. He has to listen to Dean helping when Cas gets struck by one (again) and they don’t have time to make it back to the bunker—so things get kind of graphic in the backseat of the Impala.

Love Burns Its Casualties (5k) by anactoria. Beautiful and bittersweet fic set during “The End”. Present-day Dean can’t sleep, and ends up invited by future!Cas to spend what he knows is likely his last night alive with him.  Features casual weed use (if that bothers you), some very hot shotgunning (if it doesn’t), and is just...a wonderfully written atmospheric story that I’ve already re-read several times. (It’s especially a good read when slightly stoned yourself. Um. Not that I’m necessarily advocating for that sort of thing, unless it’s legal in your neck of the woods. Um. Anyway...)

something quiet and minor and peaceful and slow (3.7k) by celeste9. Heaven fic, so don’t read if that’s not your thing. Also don’t read if you’re completely convinced John Winchester is an unredeemable homophobe and terrible parent all around. I, personally, liked this take a lot more as it shows a struggling but not horrible John confused about why this angel keeps popping over, asking Mary questions about what Dean will want in his little slice of Heaven. The title really describes the lovely mood of this little fic and I liked it a lot.

heaven, reconstructed (9k) by vaudelin. Another Heaven fic, more focused on Cas than Destiel (but that is endgame). Goes into what exactly Cas was doing, working with Jack to try to build a better Heaven while awaiting Dean’s eventual arrival. It’s a great fic for world-building (in more ways than one!) in the SPN universe and I like a story that explores Cas’s relationships with others beyond Dean and Sam. I’d add too that as a fan of The Good Place, I just in general enjoy stories that look at the complexity of what actually would constitute a “perfect” afterlife. So imagine Castiel as a TGP architect here if you will (I certainly did!)

The Passion of the Christ (and his angelic ex-boyfriend) (4.9k) by Bzzee. Another heaven!fic, but pure delightful crack. What happens when Dean and Cas run into one of Cas’s ex-boyfriends in Heaven’s roadhouse...who just happens to be Jesus Christ. Dean isn’t too happy with that knowledge (and neither is Judas). Just read it—heresy and all. For a crack fic it’s actually wonderfully smart and wicked.

Can't You Hear It Calling (4.7k) by imogenbynight. A “missing scene” from s8e32 (Sacrifice). Cas expects to never see Dean again once he (expects to, at least) close the gates of Heaven. As a parting gift, he takes Dean back in time to a Led Zeppelin concert...and then a motel room to spend a final night together. As a music lover, the description of the excitement of the concert (and the happy/sadness when the show is almost over) totally hit me in the feels...and it’s such angsty/beautiful smut when they get together.

You're Gonna Live Tomorrow (3k) by MajorEnglishEsquire, microcomets, orange_crushed. Cas doesn’t know a lot about being human (yet), but he does know one thing - he wants to marry Dean. Sweet, sweet happy fluff, just enjoy.

Who's Counting? (1.7k) by Annie D (scaramouche). Just some pure angel-powered delicious smut. Dean learns the hard way, over and over again, that angels have basically no refractory period.

[the-gay-prometheus]

12 or 34 for the ask thing if i may request!! :3

How long has it been? A month? A month and a half? Two months? What is time? Anyways... Finally got around to this. My original goal was to do one for both... but then I got carried away so uh... just one will have to do.

I went with #12 (”can i be of assistance”) and decided that I felt like writing a little 'slice of life' bit for my AU. Somehow that divulged into me writing an entire short scene.

...anyways. So if this is canon it takes place about eh... a week or so after Henry meets Victor and the creature on the mountain (which I haven't written yet), and they're all just starting to kinda get used to living up there together. (Henry also went back to civilization during that week in between to get a few supplies so... hence they have some cookware!)

CW: An explanation of how to quarter a rabbit carcass for cooking (not really graphic or anything but I know some people might get a little icky about that)

Here you go. Sailor, I apologize in advance. It is poorly conceived and poorly written but here it is anyhow.

“Can I be of assistance?” The creature spoke softly as he watched Henry tend to a small fire that burned beneath a dutch oven which hung from a makeshift tripod of branches. Henry paused his shifting of the glowing logs and glanced up at him with a kind smile.

“Actually, I believe you can,” he answered, then gestured toward the cabin. “You remember the rabbit we trapped this morning?” The creature nodded. “It should be on the table inside. I believe Victor’s already taken care of skinning and gutting it, but it will need to be quartered. Do you think you could take care of that?”

“I can certainly try, though I am… admittedly unsure of how one might go about that process,” the creature replied, hanging his head in shame from how little he knew about much of anything. Henry stretched and stood upright, a sympathetic look in his eyes.

“No need to be worried, I shouldn’t have expected you to know,” he mentioned, motioning for the creature to follow him back inside. On the kitchen table inside was the rabbit carcass, laid haphazardly aside along with various other foraged ingredients ranging from wild garlic to chanterelles, wild carrot to wild thyme which, in stark contrast, were kept in neat piles of their own. “Now, Victor would be the better candidate to give you an anatomy lesson,” Henry explained as he moved over to where it lay. “But I know enough to at least help you get by, I hope.” He placed the carcass on its back with one hand, grabbing a knife that lay aside with his free hand, and the creature stood over him, watching intently. “Your goal is to divide the carcass up into manageable pieces. The best way to do that is to remove the front legs-” He wriggled the two short front limbs in demonstration. “Remove the two hind legs-” He gestured down toward the thickly muscled hind limbs. “And separate the ribs from the loin section.” He ran the back of the knife along where the rib cage ended and the posterior half of the back began. “The front legs will be the easiest. Just run your knife under them and pull up beneath the shoulder blade and they should come right off. As for the hind legs, it's best to make cuts where they join with the back muscles, then crack the joints where they meet the hips, finish cutting through and they should come free. Separating the ribs is similar, cut around where they end, then crack the backbone from there.” He set the knife down and set the carcass on its side, looking back up at the creature. “Think you got all that?” The creature nodded.

“I believe so.”

“Let me know if you need my help! I’ll just be outside,” Henry beamed with a cheerful grin as he gathered up the other ingredients on the table into his arms and whistled as he briskly walked back outside. The creature watched him go, curious about how someone could seem so happy all the time, then turned his attention back to the task at hand.

It was no more than a minute later that the creature emerged from the doorway, though it looked like far more time had passed. The small fire was now considerably larger with fresh logs, flames lapping at the sides of the dutch oven that hung over it, steam mingling with smoke and drifting into the sky. Henry still sat fireside, but now beside him, sprawled out on the stone with one hand dangerously close to the fire, was Victor, who appeared either thoroughly exhausted or tired of existing. “I have completed the… quartering,” the creature called out quietly, sounding unsure of himself. Henry looked back at him with an expression that was somewhere between confused and impressed.

“Already?” The creature nodded. Henry thought a moment, then chuckled and shook his head. “Ah- that’s right. I’m sure those bones snapped like twigs between your fingers,” he mused, turning back around and poking at the logs with a large stick. The creature didn’t answer, instead averting his eyes at the mention of his strength. His mind began to race with thoughts and memories of the past that made him feel suddenly sick, but Henry’s voice rose above his internal din and snapped him back to the present. “Well… we’ve still got a little bit of time before I’ll be needing it. Do you want to try deboning it for me?”

“So long as you would be able to instruct me, yes,” the creature replied. Henry poked at Victor’s leg with the other end of his fire stick.

“That sort of thing is more Victor’s expertise,” Henry mentioned as Victor shot him a frustrated glare.

“Nope. Not doing it,” Victor grumbled, letting his head fall back to the ground a little too hard, resulting in a grunt of pain and a wince.

“Come on, Victor, get up and help him,” Henry insisted, prodding his leg again. Victor groaned and slowly lifted himself half upright.

“I’m too tired,” he complained, rubbing at the back of his head where it had hit against the ground. Henry gave him a doubtful smile, which Victor simply couldn’t resist the charm of. His own grumpy expression quickly changed to a sheepish smile, his cheeks heating as he blushed from the thought of how even something so small as the way Henry looked at him could make him so suddenly willing to give in. He tried to hide his expression, which only made him blush more as he realized that by trying to hide it he was only digging a deeper hole for himself in revealing how he felt. “Well-” he began, his voice cracking, which earned him a snicker from Henry, who at this point was now idly stirring the contents of the cast iron pot. That made him blush even more and he jumped to his feet, clearing his throat. “That is to say- well- I guess I could help,” he murmured. The creature tilted his head at Victor’s sudden change of heart, now entirely intrigued and curious about the nature of the relationship between the two of them.

“See? Dealing with Victor is all about persistence,” Henry called back to the creature. Victor tapped his leg with his foot.

“Don’t push it, Henry,” he muttered. Even though he was trying to look serious, he still had a slight smile on his face. Henry grinned and pushed his foot away.

“Oh hush, I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,” he quipped, tapping the long spoon he was using to stir with on the edge of the dutch oven before placing it back down on top of the lid that lay at his side. Victor rolled his eyes with a smirk and began striding off toward the cabin, where the creature had already slipped back inside in hopes of avoiding their… argument? Was it an argument? He couldn’t quite tell, but it was confusing, and he didn’t want to try to make sense of it.

“Alright first things first,” Victor announced from outside. “Deboning a rabbit is just like deboning a corpse, just on a much smaller scale…” Henry held back a snort of laughter as he heard Victor’s monologue trail off behind the closing of a door. Prodding at the logs of the fire once more, he sighed and lay back with a smile.

“Living with those two is bound to be an adventure,” he remarked out loud to himself. He exhaled a soft, happy sigh and closed his eyes. “An adventure well worth taking.”

[jobrookekarev]

Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby

Chapter: 1/1

Words: 4000

Summary: Alex takes Jo home after she divorces Paul and watches over her for the best he can.

Fandom: Grey's Anatomy.

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Karev.

Characters: Alex Karev, Jo Wilson Karev, and Meredith Grey.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences.

Additional Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, In Canon, Missing Scene, Referenced to Domestic Violence.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

AN: The title is from a song by cigarettes after sex, it's a really good and definitely a Jolex song. 

……………………………………………………………………

“God, I wish he was dead,” Jo said her voice was full of pain and she looked like she was about to cry as her expression contorted into a grimace. 

The last time Alex had seen her like this was when she showed up on his porch after her fight with Jason. The way she looked at him, tears in her eyes and half of her face black and blue was burned into his mind. Jo had been absolutely distraught, hollow and distant from the moment Paul got there. The light that usually illuminated her face and her eyes were gone, and in its place was a painful expression.

“Come on. Let's go home,” Alex said, moving to her side and wrapping one arm around her waist as Jo relaxed against him. 

He could see how exhausted she was and he wanted to pick her up and carry her home, but they're still at work. So instead he let her lean into him as much as she needed to and held her up as they walked.

The three of them walked over to the attending’s lounge and Alex grabbed his jacket, not even bothering to change out of his scrubs. He just packed everything in his bag so they could get going. Jo was silent the entire time, just watching and Alex made sure that his hand didn't leave her waist and Meredith helped him grab his things. 

They walked down to the parking garage with Meredith walking ahead, turning every corner before they did. Just to be sure that he wasn't still lingering somewhere in the hospital. Alex opened the side door for Jo and put his hand on her back as she climbed in. Jo fastened her seat belt and then stared out the windshield at nothing, her eyes empty. 

He knew the tears were coming, he could see them in the corner of her eyes, but Jo held back. Alex figured that she was waiting until she was somewhere safe to break down. He doesn't know if that would be the car, or the loft, or their bed, but he was determined to get her to her safe place as quickly as possible. 

Alex looked back at Meredith, she seemed anxious like Jo, but in a different way, more wound up and angry, determined and ready to fight.

“Okay, so I'm going to talk to Bailey and will get him banned from the hospital. He won’t be able to set foot in here ever again. So why don't you and Jo take tomorrow off? I’ll get everything settled and then we can all go to a lawyer and get a restraining order, okay?”

Jo just nodded as she stared straight ahead. Alex squeezed her hand before he double checked Jo’s seatbelt and squeezed her hand as she just stared ahead. The hardest part about this whole thing had been watching Jo shut down like this. Alex swallowed the lump in his throat as he closed the door.

“Alex it’s going to be okay,” Meredith said, gripping his arms and forcing him to look at her. “He is not going to win, he is not going to hurt her again, we’re going to fight and we’re going to keep her safe. Just don’t do anything stupid, alright.”

Alex looked back at Jo, she still stared out the window with her blank expression. Everything inside him told him to track down Paul at whatever hotel he was staying at and smash his face into the ground until he was no longer breathing. Yet, Alex knew that he would end up in jail. Then Jo would be alone and he couldn’t leave her right now. 

“I'm won’t, I promise,” Alex said with a nod and Meredith let him go. 

It was a silent ride home, Jo didn't even turn on the radio, she just sat there and stared out the window. After he parked the car they just sat there for a moment. Alex looked over at her as Jo let out a breath and then got out of the car. He raced around to meet her when she got out and grabbed her bags before he put his arm around her. Together, they walked up to the apartment building. 

Alex made sure that the main door to the entryway of the apartment building was locked before they went up the elevator. He closed the gate behind them, double checking that it was locked too. He checked that every door was locked behind them before he pulled the metal door closed and bolted it shut. Jo jumped and let out a yelp when he slammed the door shut and he looked back at her standing there in the entryway, her shoulders tense and her body frozen.

Jo just stood there in the entryway and Alex dropped both of their bags to the floor and watched her for a moment. He thought he should do something like get dinner ready or put away their things or something, but then Jo turned around and looked at him, she frowned and squeezed her eyes shut. He knew she was about five seconds from losing it and he dropped everything to rushed over to her as quickly as possible before her knees gave out and he caught her as they both fell to the floor. 

As Jo’s sob’s filled the loft, Alex didn't say anything, he didn't know what to say. There were no words in the world that will make this better, that will make Paul go away, so instead, he just held her. He sat on the floor and wrapped his arms around her and held her against his chest as she wailed. 

Jo’s cries were loud and sorrowful and they filled the room and it broke his heart. There was a stream of tears falling down her face and she cried so hard she could barely take in a breath before she was crying out again. Jo cried for so long and so hard her voice started to give out, but the tears didn't stop. 

Alex had a muscle cramping his leg as he sat awkwardly and held her, but he didn't dare move before she did. It broke his heart to see her like this, to see her this distraught and in pain. He cried silent tears that he didn't let her see as he just held her and pressed his cheek against the top of her head. 

Jo slowly started to grow quiet, the sobbing became less frequent and she took deeper and fuller breaths. She rested her head against his shoulder and Alex rubbed his hand up and down her back. He did it in slow steady motions up and back down. Jo wiggled uncomfortably against his hands and Alex stopped as Jo pulled back. She moved her shoulder to scratch against her neck and Alex pulled at the collar of her shirt and saw the hives that ran up her neck. If they peeked out the collar of her shirt, then they probably covered her whole back.  

“Come on,” Alex said, pulling her up as she stood on wobbly legs, so he picked her up, her legs wrapped around his waist as he walked over to the bathroom. 

He flipped on the lights and set her down on the edge of the tub before he helped her pull off her jacket. Jo held her arms up as he pulled her top over her head and tried not to gasp as he saw the hives that had broken out across her skin. They went across her stomach and out her arms. Jo reached for the button of her pants and Alex helped her down pull them down her legs and the sight of the hives extending down her thighs scares him. He had never seen them this bad, even when she was freaking out about one of the residents being fired back when she was a second-year. Back then they only covered her back and arms, now they cover almost her whole body.

“Okay,” Alex said, taking a deep breath as he knelt in front of her and put his hands on her knees. This was medical, he could treat this and help her. “Why don't we get an oatmeal bath going and I'll grab you some Benadryl. Then afterward we can cover you with calamine lotion, and then I'll get the soft blue cotton pajamas that are loose and won't irritate your skin, sound good?”

“Yeah,” Jo nodded and she looked at him rather than staring at the tile floor. 

Alex quickly got the oat and put it in the coffee grinder to make a powder before he returned to the bathroom. The water was just a few inches deep but he poured the powder oats in as Jo mixed it up with her hand. He got out the Benadryl and handed it to her with a glass of water. 

Jo took off the remainder of her undergarments and got into the tub where she curled up, hugging her knees to her chest. Alex kneeled on the floor next to the tub and mixed the water with his hands and picked up the empty cup and filled it with the oat water and poured it over her back. For a moment things were calm after the tub filled up. Jo sat there as Alex poured the water over her back, but then she spoke.

“This was a mistake.” Jo's voice was just a whisper as her eyes glanced over at him. “I'm happy that I'm divorced, but this was a mistake.”

Jo looked over at him with fresh tears in her eyes and Alex just leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “I promise that I’m going to do everything in my power to protect you, but if you want to go, just say the word and we'll leave. We’ll pack up everything and take off and we’ll change our names and disappear. We can start over somewhere he'll never find us.” 

Jo just nodded against his shoulder and Alex held her for as long as she needed him to. Eventually, Jo let go and laid back in the tub as her eyes fluttered closed. She seemed to be fighting sleep and he was relieved to see her finally relax. He didn't mind if she fell asleep in the tub as he would just pick her up and carry her to bed. For now, he just poured the water over her and was happy to see her hives disappear. 

After a few more minutes Jo stood up and Alex reached for the towel. She stepped out of the tub and he wrapped it around her shoulders. She looked so tired as she leaned against him and he picked her up, putting one arm under her legs and the other around her back as he carried her over to the bed. He thought she had fallen asleep in his arms, but Jo blinked awake when he set her down. Alex grabbed the calamine lotion and applied it over her back and arms while Jo got her chest and stomach.

“Lift up for a second you’ve got hives on your butt,” Alex said, nudging her hip and trying to make her smile.

It worked and Jo turned her head to smile at him as she laid down and let him slather it over her butt and thighs. Her smile, however small, gave him hope that this wouldn't break her. 

After the lotion dried he grabbed her the soft pajamas like he promised and changed into a pair of his own. He warmed up some leftovers from the fridge and they ate a little bit before they both crawled into bed. Alex laid down first and Jo crawled over to lay down on top of him. She tucked her head under his chin as his arms immediately wrapped around her. Alex relaxed as he closed his eyes, he knew that despite everything, Jo was going to be okay.

Suddenly the phone rings and Jo tensed up with a cry. She wrapped her arms around him and dug her fingernails into his shirt as she clung to him. Alex quickly looked around and reached for the phone. He picked it up and sighed in relief as it was only Meredith and Jo relaxed in his arms.

“Hey, Meredith what’s up?”

“Okay so I did some research and I was able to find a lawyer that I think can help Jo get a restraining order. It looks like we can get it right away as an emergency order of protection, but we’ll have to go to court later and we’ll need evidence of the abuse. I don’t know if Jo has medical records and I don't want to search for anything under her old name until she says I can.”

“Yeah that sounds great Mer, but can we continue this in the morning, I think we just need some sleep.”

“Yeah okay, how is she?” 

Alex looked down at Jo curled up in his arms as she glanced up at him, having heard everything, but her eyes were heavy as she fought sleep. He knew that Jo didn't mind if he shared with Meredith.

“Her stress hives are pretty bad. She’s not itching anymore, but they still cover most of her body. I've given her some Benadryl and an oatmeal bath and that seems to have helped.”

“Is she running a fever?”

“No, but I'm keeping an eye on her,” Alex said as Jo turned her head and pressed a kiss to his chest. He put his hand on her back but was careful not to rub up and down in case he irritated her hives. 

“Well, keep an eye on it and if she develops a fever, bring her into the hospital,” Meredith said, but then her voice softened. “I'll call and check in with you guys tomorrow morning, Okay.” 

“Yeah, thanks Mer,” Alex said before hanging up and putting his phone on silent as he put it on the nightstand. 

Jo finally closed her eyes and he took a moment to look down at her. She still clung to him and Alex could feel the way that her fingers dug into his shirt. 

“I've got you Jo, I promise,” Alex said as he let his arms rest over her. 

“I know,” Jo whispered as she snuggled further into his arms. “With you, I feel safe.”

Alex smiled a little bit and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. He knew there weren't very many people that Jo truly trusted and he felt honored to have her trust. Jo quickly fell asleep as the stress from the day had drained her. However her fingers still curled tightly to his shirt, even in her sleep, and Alex stayed up and watched over her.

A part of him regretted the way he spoke to her when she came into Frankie's room having finally tracked down boy Taylor. Jo had run all over the hospital to track down the correct nurse, yet when she showed up too late he was frustrated. Not at her but at the situation and the wrong calls he had made. Looking back he recognized the look on her face, the pain and tension she held. He wished he would have asked her what happened so she could tell him that Paul was there, then he could have kept her safe the entire time. But he was here now and he wasn't leaving her side again, not until this whole thing was over. 

Even if he had to punch Paul to keep him away from her. Alex thought he should be able to get at least one punch in before he had to stop. It would be just enough to wipe that smug look off his damn face. Paul deserved to know what it was like to have someone hit back. Alex took a deep breath as he let go of the anger and tension and looked down at Jo again. He knew he couldn't let his anger get the best of him and risk leaving her alone. For now, he tried to relax and get some sleep, before they faced what he knew would be an exhausting day tomorrow.

The next morning when Alex woke up he was relieved to see that Jo was still asleep and had slept through the night. Neither of them were strangers to nightmares and after she filed for divorce she had had a few. Jo would wake up gasping for air and covered in sweat and was reluctant to go back to sleep. He figured there'd be a nightmare tonight, but I was relieved to see that she had slept peacefully. 

Alex pulled up Jo’s shirt to see that her hives had mostly disappeared except for a few on her back and shoulders. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek before he got up to make some coffee. He pulled open the fridge to check what they had and grabbed a couple of eggs and the bread. He remembered the arguments they used to have about whether the bread should be in the fridge or on the counter. He wished to go back and have that be the worst thing they fought about. Those days living in the frat house were wild and carefree, but he loved having the loft. It was a home of their own and he was so happy to build his life with her. It was their safe haven, but with Paul around, he wasn’t sure if it would be for much longer.

Alex looked back at Jo sleeping peacefully in the bed and let out a sigh. He went back over to the kitchen and got the coffee started with the toast and eggs. Soon the smell of warm coffee filled the loft and Alex sipped his cup of coffee while he made one for Jo, trying to get lost in the routine of making breakfast. He heard her gasp and turned around to see her sitting up in bed. Her eyes were wild as she looked around and he instantly set down his coffee and got up to run over to her.

“Hey, hey, Jo it's okay, you're in the Loft, he's not here, you're safe,” Alex reassured her as he sat down on the bed and put his hands on her shoulders.

Jo was still breathing heavily, but her eyes got less wild as they focused on him. She looked around the Loft before glancing at the kitchen. “You made coffee?”

“Yeah, and eggs and toast, you hungry?” Alex asked as he watched Jo wrinkle her nose. 

There was still the lingering distress on her face from the nightmare and she put her hand over her mouth before she got up and bolted over to the bathroom. Alex followed hot on her heels as she fell in front of the toilet and threw open the lid, the contents of last night's dinner coming back up. He held her hair and combed it back with his fingers twisting it into a bun, before he grabbed one of the many hair ties that were lying around and tied her hair up. Then he rubbed her back as she heaved. Jo had always had a nervous stomach and he cursed himself for not seeing this coming. Once her stomach was empty, she pulled back and leaned against him as he wrapped his arms around her waist. 

“How about we start with just toast and water, yeah?” Alex asked as she nodded from where her head was on his shoulder.

He let her move to get up first before he wrapped his arms around her as she leaned into him as they walked over to the couch. He came back and got her some toast and water and they sat on the couch together. She put on the morning news and leaned back against his chest as they tried to relax.

“Hey, so I was thinking,” Alex said, pausing as he scratched at the back of his neck. “Maybe it would be best if we switched phones.”

Jo bit her lip. “I don't know.”

“Just hear me out,” Alex said waited for Jo to nod before he continued. “I know that you don't want to change your number in case Jenny reaches out to you, but Paul has your number now too. So I thought that if we switched phones and he called, I could be the one to answer and you wouldn't have to deal with him, but if Jenny called, I could quickly hand the phone over to you so you could help her.”

Jo thought about it for a moment as she rubbed her fingers before she looked at him and nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Okay,” Alex said as they switched phones and he put Jo’s phone into the pocket of his pajama pants. 

Jo relaxed back against him as they watched the news and Jo cracked a smile at something one of the hosts said. It gave him hope that she would be okay. Jo was strong and she could handle anything that life threw at her. She had already escaped Paul once and this time she had him to help her. He thought she would be okay, but then her phone rang.

Jo jumped the same way she did last night, and he quickly put his arm around her before he looked at the phone. They both let out a sigh when they saw that it was just April. 

“Kepner, it's our day off!” Alex gruffed, but then trailed off as April told him what happened.

“Alex, what is it,” Jo asked, seeing the serious look in his eyes as his lips parted.

“It's Paul. He’s been hit by a car,” Alex said as he watched Jo's eyes grow wide in shock.

[geekkatsblog]

Grey's Anatomy season 17×06 Review

(How the f**k they just gonna leave me on read like this till March 4th)

The episode was a rollercoaster but something tells me the real ride is going to happen from the next episode.

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Maggie

I knew Winston was gonna show up in person at some point or the other. When he dropped the long distance wasn't working line and put the phone down in her ear so he could get some 'eggs' I knew he was in Seattle, good for her she's going to need him to lean on seeing that Mer freaking crashed again. At least she'll have somebody there for her because all her other support is personally attached to Meredith as well.

Besides Winston turning up, treating Tom and her being understandably giddy at Mer being awake there was also a scene where she educated Amelia on some things now I won't get into the details again but I'm just in love with the fact that Grey's isn't afraid to touch on controversial topics, they use their large platform to raise awareness and their speeches are always on point.

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Teddy/Owen

(She needed the time off more than Bailey did tbh)

My God was it satisfying when Richard literally just tore into her. She put herself in the situation and is now taking her anger out on others which is really in poor taste. Poor Helm, I hope she didn't take it personally. At this point it's her time to annoy me, I miss the season 6 Teddy, hopefully she redeems herself soon. After being torn apart by Webber's words she then proceeds to make things worst by revealing yet another big secret to Owen at work. (At least this time it was on purpose.) She just needs to take some time away and think on what she really wants and needs to reflect before spontaneously starting potentially life changing conversations. First it was telling Tom they had a chance then it was telling Owen that she still loves him and the kids while also revealing that she named their daughter after not only her best friend but also the woman that she was very much in love with. Pick a struggle Teddy at this point she's seeming confused more than anything else.

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Owen

For the past few seasons Owen was one of the characters getting on my nerves but lately he's been fine. He hasn't redeemed himself yet but his probation is going fine. Watching this show really shows how good of a person a doctor has to be in order to follow the ethical guidelines. If I had that scum bag for a patient I would have literally just pretended to fail at saving him and let the guy die, (guess that's why the Lord made me suck at Chemistry and Physics) his response to Bob about him being at the devils barbecue was badass, gave me serious season 5 Owen vibes or vibes like when he punched that guy out for disrupting the ER when he was chief, Major Hunt reporting for duty.

As for him and Teddy I can get why he was upset, her he was about to attempt to make amends at probably rekindling a friendship or maybe their relationship and she revels that your daughter is named after her lover, she could have atleast told him that when they were in the naming process, he deserved to know exactly who his child was being named after. I'm kinda a bitch but there was no way I'd feel comfortable having my child named after my partner's lover. On the other hand he should hear her out he has literally cheated twice and both times he sat and was able to share his side of the story and the woman he was with listened to his explanations. Teddy deserves as much, it might hurt but he did the same and Karma unfortunately is still a bitch.

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Bailey

(I just wanted to give her a hug the whole night.)

She has a really unhealthy habit of working through her grief, first her miscarriage and now through the death of her mom. I'm honestly sad that Ben had to be the one to comfort Tuck and tell him his grandmother had even died (she's always so busy, Ben is pratically the one raising him at this point.) And I'm also upset that I haven't gotten to see Ben being there for her either. I'm assuming it might be a protocol on the sets.

At least she took time off of the cases, I understand why she didn't want to go home as a doctor she has the highest risk of transporting the virus, but her mind understandably wasn't going to be in the doctoring game. I really thought they were gonna make her freeze up and accidentally kill a patient or something, but at least they didn't go down that line. And what even happened to her dad? did he take the Covid test? Wheres he staying now? Is he safe?

The conversations between her and Deluca were sweet, it's another unexpected friendship, before the only one she really disclosed any details of her life with was Richard but now they're opening her support group which is fine. I'm also glad that Deluca was able to look past the whole fiasco last season and hold no grudges. She has now fully redeemed herself completely, she's still my all time favorite character but from season 13 to probably mid season 16 she really had some storylines and scenes that irked me to watch and made me question some things, but now she's back on track at least to me.

Also I know that Richard is the chief of chiefs but how are they just gonna let him take back over the surgery unit like that again? I mean I did miss him as chief but now Bailey just basically seems like a regular old surgeon with a fancy office, idk it just seems kinda weird to me.

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Jackson

Not only carrying on the work and teachings of Mark Sloan but also using his boatload of cash to rescue a patient's mother from racist police who should have been the ones actually in prison. That was basically it for him though.

___________________________________________

Jo

Oml I honestly almost forgot she was even really in the episode. She had so little screen time. She's still in the middle of transitioning to OB. I have no issue with that because OB's still can do surgery, so we'll still get to see her and she'll be happy again plus it's about time that Grey's cashes in that Regulars card on Carina. We see her on Station 19 as an accessory I want to see the Jo and Carina tag team.

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Amelia

Not really much in this episode. No content with Link she just did surgery to save the scum with Owen. They may have made a mediocre couple but they work good as friends. Also I'm assuming she's off of maternity leave now? Did they mention that I'm not sure but she's back now.

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Richard

Not much of a storyline, he made the decision to put Meredith on the Vent and is busy running the hospital as the chief of the hospital again I guess. And also spitting the much needed facts that Teddy needed to hear.

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Tom

They're finally showing more of Tom's good side, I mean I always liked him and saw the potential in his character but they never really showed his soft side for a prolonged period like they did today. May I just say I enjoyed his and Meredith's friendly banter they have the same lowkey dark humor and at least it would have taken their minds off of being sick especially for him because he basically has no one else. Hearing him open up about his son and expressing how he'd do anything to hear him say dad again was sad I can only imagine his pain. Meredith was his reason for holding on especially after he had to witness his roommate die from Covid, the same thing he's suffering from right before his eyes and now Mer back unconscious this time with a tube down her throat I'm just really hoping that he keeps the faith, the last thing we need is a death right now.

___________________________________________

Meredith

(God damn it Mer all you had to do was stay awake.)

For a few brief moments all was right with the world Meredith was awake and everyone was happy and then she just had to go be Wonder Woman and over exert herself, but that's the thing they would have probably needed armed guards at the doors to keep her from putting someone else's life above her own, its one of her best qualities and at times one of her worst. I knew it was too good to be true when she was awake and laughing. It was giving me Mark Sloan final episode vibes. They better not kill her off that would be the worst ending for me, what about the kids? Step off the damn beach Mer you've gone through too much to let Covid take you out. On the other hand this gives us more beach scenes. It's more unlikely to have a live character return but there's still lots of dead ones to choose from, her mother is always a likely suspect, Denny loved being on the show and I think Breaking bad had its final season, Mark is a toss up based on how he cut ties with the show and Lexie is also a toss up because she is filming Supergirl in another country, however anything is possible with Grey's. I thought the beach scenes were over because she was waking up but look how wrong I was. All I hope is that they don't kill her off its unlikely because she's the main character but still its Grey's they like to go out with a bang.

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Deluca

I left him for last because to me he really did have the biggest storyline of the night.

Firstly I'm glad to see that at least part of the earliers season's Deluca has returned. I loved him as the passionate, badass and almost cocky guy as well but I always missed his more compassionate and softer side more. I'm glad to see it back and I'm also glad to see that he's taking his meds and resting, and I can confirm that having support is a needed factor in treating mental health. As strange as it was seeing the Bailey and Deluca chat it's good that they both have each other. They both suffer from mental illnesses and can relate to each other on a different level. They have me wondering now if they're going to use his mental health issues as a way to separate him and Mer, or use it as the reason why he pursued her, kinda like how they tried to blame Amelia's tumor for her bad decisions and then used it to break her and Owen up. I guess we'll just have to see where Merluca will go from here or if it will manifest Merhaynes instead.

Now onto the big stuff, the whole sex trafficking thing the whole episode I was literally yelling at the tv for either Deluca, Bailey or Carina to see that bitch, the moment it was connected that the kidnapper was involved in trafficking and she showed up I knew shit was about to go down. My heart was racing when I saw her with Schmitt. I really thought she was going to attack him with how sus she was being, luckily she had to go to avoid further suspicion. They need to put security on those girls' door. They've been through enough. If she goes to finish off Bob then no one cares but the girls don't deserve to go through anything else and Deluca after seeing her decided to go after him himself instead of calling the police, granted the police wasn't doing anything helpful but the last thing we need is for him to go after her himself like Superman and trying to save the day. At least Carina went with him so she can help talk him down if necessary but there's only so much she can do.

___________________________________________

There are too many damn superheroes in that hospital.

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My questions are:

• Will both Tom and Meredith make it out of the Covid sickness or will one or even both of them die?

• Will Teddy finally make her mind up so that the Teddy, Tom and Owen love triangle can finally have an ending?

• Who the hell is coming to the beach next? And can they tell Meredith to get her ass off of the beach and never return until she's like 80?

• Will Superman, I mean Deluca save the day without needing medical attention afterwards? Or worst yet needing a casket?

• Is Jo actually switching specialties?

• Are they going to go after the girls or kill Bob instead?

• How is it going to go with Maggie and Winston now that he has arrived in person?

• And lastly and most importantly what am I supposed to do with my Thursday nights until March 4th.

[airiustide]

Zutara writing prompt request- Zuko and Katara hook up after a fire nation ceremony... short while after she finds out she’s pregnant?

A/N: Hey, anon! So, instead of doing what you requested, this whooooole thing turned into fluff, (with a few hints *whink whink*) nonetheless, it turned out sweet, with the right amount of flirtiness, and zuko giving lots of kisses.

Summary: Three months after a one night stand and Zuko doesn’t know how to face Katara. Not enough alcohol could give him the courage to confess just how much that night had conjured dormant feelings. But it just might be enough to take in what he learns next. 

He couldn’t concentrate clearly with everyone conversing so loudly. Space invaded by acquaintances and strangers alike. The grand ballroom was occupied by guests, a summit held with the world’s highest officials and leaders. Weeks of endless meetings and settled treaties finally moved to an evening filled with loud music and gourmet food. Every face he came across was a blur. His eager gaze sweeps across the extravagant room, draped in the gold and red of his nation’s colors.

Where was she? He repeated to himself, looking around anxiously, palms sweaty. There was a thundering in his ears and Zuko’s heart drummed in his chest. He swallowed the remaining contents of his ninth cup of wine, swiftly dismissing anyone who attempted to grasp his attention whilst he maneuvered the room in search of the one person he had been working so hard to find since this whole thing started. 

He could very well be kidding himself. Selfishly thinking that after all this time she might have a semblance of feelings for him as he did for her. Or perhaps sleeping with her before confessing only made him come off pathetic.

He was going to lose his mind thinking about it. Zuko rubbed a hand down his face, starting to feel shame swell in his chest. Why? Did he really fuck things up that bad? He’s always done his best not to let things eat at him, but Katara wasn’t just anything or anyone, for that matter. 

If she wasn’t there when he was at his lowest; vulnerable and despondent, maybe things would’ve turned out different. Day after day spent between the throne room and his chambers only to end it with...himself. The loneliness settled in like a dark mass, weighing heavily on his person. And on the anniversary of his mother’s disappearance, it all came tumbling down with a tall glass of fire whiskey and the lips of the waterbender who shared it with him.

She tasted sweet despite the heat of the liquor. His name hit his lips hotly from her mouth, a pleasant mewl that coaxed him closer and closer. Wiping away the heaviness that tore him day in and day out. Whether it was the alcohol or it was a fleeting act of emotions, Zuko couldn’t accept either. Though, he couldn’t speak for Katara. Maybe he was the only one reading deeper into this than necessary.

The thought had him needing to replace his empty cup of wine for another. Reaching out as a waiter crossed him with a gold-plated tray filled with goblets, Zuko didn’t calculate the proper distance between him and the tray, accidentally knocking it over along with the waiter. In his hazy state, the young Fire Lord attempts to stop the waiter from meeting the floor by grabbing his collar and, instead, falls right on top of him. 

Wine spilled, and goblets clanged. Zuko’s face goes red hot, utterly horrified at his clumsy, drunken state. With the aid of nearby guests both him and the waiter were helped to their feet.  A quick apology and a bow, and Zuko rushes out of the room, clinging to the chest of his soaked royal robes.

“Woah, there!” A familiar voice stops him in his tracks. A gentle hand flattening against his strong chest ignites a well known spark. “And where do you think you’re going in that state, Fire Lord?” 

He looks down to find Katara’s teasing smile, the smile reaching her radiant eyes and accenting the glow of her features. The dress she wore was lined with fur and embroidered in tribal designs. Her hair was left in chocolate waves and pinned to the side to fall over her left shoulder. It steals his breath and suddenly all his nerves go haywire. “I-I-” 

Katara’s face turns into concern. “Are you okay? You look pale.”

Zuko inhales, gathering his composure and bows formally to Katara’s surprise. “Ambassador Katara. Welcome back. How was your visit home?”

“Umm, I’m not against formalities, but I don’t think now is the time for that. We should get you cleaned up.” She takes his arm, nodding her head at Zuko’s guards who witnessed the scene of their Lord’s incident, taking the indication that they should return to their post and that the Master waterbender had it from here. “Geez, Zuko, you smell like booze.” She pointed, lifting his arm around her shoulder and leading him out of the ballroom. 

“Well, I did just take a bath in wine.” He scoffed.

She rolls her eyes. “I mean your breath, silly. You smell like you consumed a winery.”

“Is that a bad thing?” He quipped, a slur left his lips, causing Katara to laugh.

“It is when you do it without me.”

Zuko’s temperature spiked, pulsing in the center of his stomach and leaving a tingling in the pit of his abdomen. Katara cleared her throat, feeling his skin go hot and squeezing his arm to get him to calm down. 

“Getting a little too excited, I see.” He was terribly adorable when he was flustered. She blushed as well, repeating the words in her head and recalling the events that led from a single bottle to his bed. His hot touch; his tongue in her mouth, on her skin, her palm, her thighs, her-

She comes to when they approach his chambers, her first thought was to take him to bed but changed her mind when she’s reminded of the dried wine sticking to his clothes, skin and hair. “Bath.” She tells him, getting Zuko to help work their way to the washroom because he started to get heavy. 

The stonework to the large room took Katara’s breath away. It was as big as a pool in a hot spring. A set of doors led to a private patio, closed off to the outside world and surrounded by orchids, arranged stones and luscious green leaves. Probably a good place to mediate, Katara thought. 

She lays him carefully on a lounge chair, removing the armor from his shoulders and wrists. Zuko doesn’t take his eyes off her; taking in every touch of her hands as she removes his sash, and unwraps his outer robe. Fingers unintentionally brush his collarbone as they work open his tunic, coming down to remove his boots. Katara catches him staring as she goes to release his hair and crown from his topknot. 

“Soft.” He hums, a lopsided smirk directed at Katara. 

She chuckles, cupping his cheek. “Don’t get flirty, Fire Lord, only one of us is inebriated.” He hisses when her fingers hook into his trousers and jerks them off with a tug. 

“Katara!” He shrieked, provoking the waterbender to lose it after he instinctively went to cover his crotch. The jolt of cold air and the realization that he was now naked knocked him slightly sober.

“Nothing I haven’t seen before. Aside from already having had a good look at what’s between your legs, on numerous occasions, mind you.” She grinned. “Being a healer means I’ve seen plenty of the male anatomy, more than I can count. Let’s get you clean, shall we.”

Katara helps him to the bath, holding his hand as he submerged himself in water, still covering himself with his free hand. Coming back up, he wipes his eyes and slicks back hair away from his face. Once he’s seated, she removes her slippers, lifting up her dress and dipping her feet in the water with a sigh. “Now that’s better.”

A quiet falls in the room as steam rises; thick, most likely from Zuko’s embarrassment. He’d never looked so red from the face down. 

“You never wrote back.” He murmured, so low that Katara didn’t catch it at first.

He watched her shift uncomfortably, ruffling her hair of water droplets, the steam making her tresses thick and wavy. Zuko half expected her to ignore the subject, or a part of him hoped she would. What if he was coming off too strong? Or worse, desperate. 

“It’s not that I didn’t want to…” She started. “A lot has been going through my mind. I needed some time to...process.”

Zuko swallowed thickly, casting his gaze down to the water, watching as it tinted red from the wine that clung to his skin and hair. “I get it.”

“Do you?” She asked, tone serious and brow furrowed. 

“I-” He looked up at her, confused. Her expression was that of disappointment. “No, I guess I don’t. Not from your end at least. Yet, I had some hope you would clarify that for me, so I'm not here thinking that the last three months you had come to hate me.”

“What?!”

“It’s unfair to expect me to empathize with you after sleeping together then never hearing from you again. I’m not very good at reading between the lines, Kat. Yeah, sleeping with me was probably the dumbest thing to do. But I have feelings t-”

“I’m pregnant, Zuko.”

“Oh, yeah? Well, I- come again?”

Her hand comes up to cover her mouth, eyes squinting as though she might start to cry. “I’m pregnant.”

Zuko’s voice caught in his throat, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. “It’s-it’s mine?”

She shot him a glare. 

“It’s mine.” He repeated. “It’s mine.” In a daze, he crosses the water toward Katara, first reaching out to grasp the hand covering her mouth, lacing it in his own. Blue eyes finally look up to find a smiling Zuko. How can he take the news without an ounce of worry?

“You’re drunk.” She excused for him, dismissing his overly happy expression.

“I’m drunk, that doesn’t mean I’m incomprehensible.”

“You might change your mind in the morning.”

“I won’t.”

“How do you know?”

“How do you?” Zuko countered, brow arched. “Want to know how I know?”

Katara cocks her head, unsure of what he was getting at.

“Because of this.” He leans in to brush a kiss below her ear, eliciting a spark on her skin. “And this.” His smile widens when he kisses her forehead, a gasp leaving Katara’s lips. “And this.”He hums, pressing his lips to her cheeks, chin and then, finally, lips; an airy kiss that left her wanting more.

His mouth makes a path to her right arm, stopping to display an especially sensual one to the palm of her hand. “Zuko.” She moaned, shaking all the way to her knees. 

Logic screamed at her that this was her best friend. And though their one night stand opened up the truth to how she felt about Zuko, getting pregnant was not in the cards. The first thing she wanted to do upon her return from home was confess but fate had other plans. Every thought, from the possibility that Zuko might think she was trying to trap him to her resigning from Ambassador to raise the baby in secret, ran through her head. It took more courage than she cared to mention just to show up at the summit. She was an Ambassador, regardless of her situation, she couldn’t not show up.

As she tried to make sense of this, all the while, Zuko had lifted her dress just above her belly, gently pushing down on her shoulder, coaxing her to lie on her back. It was like he was in a trance, hands caressing the flat of her belly. Pregnancy was hardly noticeable at this stage. He didn’t seem to care, pressing butterfly kisses all over until it was too much and Katara started to giggle from the ticklish pecks and breathy whispers he made to the little one in her belly. Expressing how he couldn’t wait to meet them. 

“You’re out of your mind.” Katara teased, combing her fingers through his long, silky hair. The panic she experienced moments ago began to dissolve. 

Zuko makes a goofy grin, resting his cheek on her stomach. There weren't enough words or actions to express how happy he was. Only an hour ago, he was just a lonely man with little to look forward to. Now he has gained a family. “Only for you. That is, if you’re all in.”

Hurdles were bound to be faced. Katara’s life would change drastically. They didn’t have the first clue on how to make this work, but by the Spirits they would figure this out. This was them after all, Zuko and Katara. That’s all they needed to get a head start. “I’m in.”