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chirhos · 3 years ago

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hi i hope this is okay to ask, but this is like the first lgbt inclusive christian blog i've seen and im trying to figure stuff out- how do you believe in god? i was raised christian but even as a kid it only felt like stories and i never connected with it. i've identified as atheist for years now, but i've been researching episcopal christianity & reform judaism because i see the connection/meaning others get from religion and wish i had that...but i don't know how.

Hi! This is absolutely okay to ask, and I'm so glad you came to me with this. Right after I post this answer, I'm going to go through my blog and reblog some other questions I've gotten that I think will be relevant to you - recommending other lgbt-affirming Christian blogs, talking about how I personally reconcile being a gay Christian, etc!

But now to get to your main question - I absolutely get where you're coming from. I can't speak about Judaism, as I was baptized and raised Presbyterian, but for most of my teenage years I went between atheist and agnostic. I remember being 16 or 17 and talking to a friend who was raised Baptist, and agreeing that although both of us went to church, neither of us really had "that thing" that would allow us to really, truly believe in God. I've since come back to Christianity, and he hasn't. This might make me a bit heretical, but I don't think he's a bad person for that. His path is different from mine, and that's alright.

My first year of college, I was talking to another friend who was raised Catholic but doesn't go to church anymore. He told me that he wanted to raise his children in the church, and even though he wasn't a practicing Catholic, he knew in his heart that he would come back to God one day. That really got me thinking - I felt the exact same way. What was I waiting for? I went to the used bookstore near my dorm and bought a Bible (I had left the one I got on Reformation Sunday 2008 at home), and it was far from a linear path, but here I am. I am also looking into the Episcopal church, it's interesting that you mention that haha!

I also struggled to connect with Bible stories as a kid. What has helped me in coming back to my faith is starting with the New Testament. My personal favorite is the Gospel of John, but I would recommend reading all of the Gospels, and the Book of Acts, before going back to the Old Testament. When I first re-read Genesis, Exodus, and Leviticus after really taking my time on the Gospels, I was literally moved to tears. Seeing the parallels between Old and New Testament stories, how Jesus was prophesied thousands of years before He was born, how humanity has longed to be one with God, and seeing how God saved us through the enduring strength of His love for us never ceases to amaze me.

I also had to fully understand Jesus as a man. In all of His divinity, it's so easy for us to forget that he was fully man and fully God, and that is so important to His story.

But that's all so complicated and theological. For now, this is the best advice I can give you: that longing you feel for religion, for God? That is God longing for you, waiting to welcome you whenever you are ready for Him.

Please don't hesitate to ask any more questions you might have! You'll absolutely be in my prayers. Again, I can only speak to Christian religion, and I would recommend asking some Jewish blogs more about Judaism if you have specific questions about that! :)

#answered #lgbt christian #gay christian

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marvelfans4blm · 5 years ago

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Marvel Fans 4 BLM - Rules and FAQ!

What is Marvel Fans 4 BLM?

Marvel Fans 4 BLM is a charity auction where fans offer works in exchange for donations. Our focus is to raise money for various Black Lives Matter organizations as well as focus on creating content for Black Marvel characters.

Who is allowed to participate?

All fans from any and all Marvel fandoms are welcome! We ask that if you are under 18, you do not offer or request explicit rated content.

How does it work?

Creators sign up to offer their works. Bidders then pledge donation amounts in auction-style. The winning bidder donates their pledged amount to a charity; once that donation is confirmed, the creator starts, uh, creating!

What is the schedule?

Monday 15 June - Sunday 28 June: Creator Sign Ups

Monday 29 June - Sunday 5 July: Browsing Week

Monday 6 July - Sunday 12 July: Auction Week

Sunday 19 July: Proof of Donations Due

Sunday 15 November: Check-In

Sunday 31 January 2021: Fanworks Due

More FAQ, Rules, and Resources under the cut!

What items are acceptable for creators to offer?

All creations should be centered around one or more canon Black characters in any Marvel fandom (movies, comics, TV - any Marvel adaptations!). Other characters are welcome to join the fun, as long as they are not the main focus. Shipping and Gen content alike are welcome! Creations accepted are:

- Fanfic

- Digital art (original art, moodboards, manips, edits, etc.)

- Physical art (artworks, crafts, merch, etc.)

- Podfic

- Fan vids

- Translations

- Fan labor (beta work, sensitivity reading, culture-picking, fact checking, SPAG editing, etc.)

If you’d like to offer something not listed, feel free to ask.

I wanna be a creator! Tell me more!

More details will be shared at each stage, but here’s an outline to get you started!

Creator sign-ups run from Monday 15 June to Sunday 28 June. You’ll sign up via a Google form and there you can specify what type of fanwork(s) you are offering with some relevant details like characters, pairings, and content you are willing to create in addition to other notes for bidders to see!

As well as fundraising for important causes, this event is intended to create new content for our favorite Black Marvel characters. With that in mind, we will not accept any previously published or created works. The exception to this is physical goods and crafts.

After the auction closes, we will put you in touch with the highest bidder and from there you two work together to create something great! Once you have your bidder’s prompt, you’ll have until 31 January 2021 to complete your work for them. We’ll have a check-in on 15 November but it’s up to you to follow through by the 2021 deadline. Unfortunately, failure to complete by the deadline will mean you will be unable to participate in future events - until you meet your obligation to your bidder.

You can offer up to three works for auction, but please be honest and respect your limits. We want both creators and bidders to end with a complete work and enjoy the process! For physical goods, it is up to you and your bidder to decide how to handle shipping - keep this in mind when setting your starting bidding price.

After posting, you can tag us in and any works that follow our rules will be included in our AO3 collection and featured on our Tumblr!

I wanna be a bidder! Tell me more!

From 29 June through 5 July, you will be able to view all items up for bid, as well as check out each creator’s other works to get a feel for what they can do. You may also reach out to contact individual creators if you have questions. We recommend that if you have a specific idea in mind, or a rarepair, or something the creator has never done before, that you reach out and confirm they will be able to fulfil your request before you bid on them.

From 6 July through 12 July, bidding will be open. All bids will be placed in US dollars, with a $5 minimum starting bid and a $2 minimum incremental bid. Bidding will not be anonymous. Group bids are welcome.

You may bid on as many items as you like, but please keep in mind that you cannot retract a bid, so make sure you can commit to donating the amount(s) that you bid. You may donate to any of our approved organizations listed below, or ask the mods for approval to donate to another cause that is working towards BLM goals.

For physical fanworks, whether or not your final bid includes shipping will be up to the creator. Once we receive confirmation of the donation, we’re no longer responsible for communication between creators and bidders. Be aware that for physical fanworks, creators will need your address to send you the item. If you aren’t comfortable giving out personal information, we suggest you bid on other auctions instead.

Once the auction is over, we will confirm the final amount for your winning bid(s); do not donate until you receive this confirmation. As soon as we have proof of your donation (pdf receipt that shows date, organization, and amount, all other info can be redacted) we will put you in touch with your creator. At this point, it is up to the two of you to work out how you’d like to proceed to ensure that the bid is fulfilled by 31 January 2021.

If you don’t hear from your creator after we connect you, please reach out to them yourself! If it has been a couple of months and you haven’t heard from them at all despite your efforts to get in touch, let us know and we’ll try to contact your creator on your behalf or help you assess the situation. Unfortunately, there’s always an inherent risk that a creator may fall through for various reasons. If this happens, we hope that knowing that you donated money to support an amazing cause will lessen the disappointment of not receiving a promised fanwork.

Remember that this event is designed to create content for Black Marvel characters, so please be sure to keep your requested works aligned with our Content & Conduct guidelines.

What charities will be supported?

We want participants to feel connected to where their efforts are going. There are multiple organizations linked in our Resources section below, along with master list sites that are updated regularly as new donation opportunities arise.

Creators will be allowed to specify up to three sites that they’d like their winning bidder to support with their donation. Any of the sites or organizations linked in our Resources section are acceptable. Creators can also decline to list a preference, and their winning bidder will be permitted to donate to any of the sites or organizations linked in our Resources section.

We are also open to suggestions! Other donation opportunities requested by the creator and vetted by the mods will be welcome.

Can I sign up to provide more than one offering? Can I sign up as a creator and a bidder? Can I bid on more than one offering?

The answer to all of these is an enthusiastic yes! Creators can make up to three offerings. Just be sure not to spread yourself too thin; we want everyone to have a successful participation. Do not agree to participate, either as a creator or a bidder, unless you are absolutely committed to following through.

Content & Conduct

This event is designed to spotlight Black characters in a positive way. This doesn’t mean we require fluff, smiles, and happy endings, but it does mean that for this event, we require that you think critically about what you are presenting and how that representation fits within the larger context of the way fandom treats characters of color.

All creations must be centered around one or more canon Black characters, meaning they must be the main focus of the story, artwork, etc. They should not be sidelined in favor of other characters, and if there is any shipping (which is not required, Gen creations are more than welcome) they should be in the main pairing.

This event is designed specifically to support BLM and therefore we expect all participants and creations to align with the values of the movement. To that end, we ask that you do not create or request fanworks that celebrate law enforcement or the military. This is not the appropriate event for a cop AU or similar. For characters canonically affiliated with law enforcement or the military, be critical of how those institutions are portrayed, as well as how BIPOC are treated by and within those institutions.

Some additional points to keep in mind:

- Some Marvel characters have canonical physical, mental, and emotional disabilities - including invisible ones like chronic pain and mental illness. These should be treated respectfully, with due diligence given to portraying their lived experience.

- No perpetrating anti-Black stereotypes or tropes.

- No sympathetically portrayed Hydra or other Nazi analogues.

- No explicit or romantically portrayed non-con.

- No sexual/romantic relationships between adult and minor characters.

- No sexual/romantic relationships between family members.

- All content shared publicly should be tagged appropriately and thoroughly.

Any offerings or creations that do not adhere to these guidelines will not be promoted on any of our social media platforms, and may affect your ability to participate in future events.

Resources

Creating:

Writing With Color blogs, recs, & resources

Sam Wilson Birthday Bang resource page

Guide for non-Black authors writing Black characters

Common Microaggressions

Stereotyped vs Nuanced Characters and Audience Perception

Donations:

Black Lives Matters carrd

Say Their Names carrd

BLM card master list

Homeless Black Trans women fund

Who are the mods?

@a-majesti, @awesomesnafu, @gavilansblog, @samstevebuckyhq, and @thundercakes22 are your friendly mods. We bonded together over our love for Sam Wilson, and are amongst the mods & organizers for a variety of Sam Wilson-centric spaces, including the Sam Wilson Birthday Bang, SamSteve Small Gifts, SamSteveLove on Twitter, and the Sam Wilson Appreciation discord.

I have another question!

No problem, we’d love to hear from you! Email us (marvelfans4blm at gmail) or send us an ask here on Tumblr.

**Mod note: Thank you so much to @fandomtrumpshate and @marveltrumpshate for generously sharing their resources!

#marvel #mcu #fandom events #marvelfans4blm

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gallavictorious · 4 years ago

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Do you think Mickey feels he got closure with terry?

Short answer and based on what we’ve seen so far: not really, no. Or rather: not yet.

Long (and I do mean really quite long) answer below.

Admittedly, writing on this topic now, before we’ve seen how Mickey deals with the aftermath of Terry’s death in the next episode, strikes me as a bit of a fool’s errand, because what we get on Sunday will (probably, hopefully) offer us more insight into how he feels about his dad and their relationship now. But I am fascinated with the subject, so I’m going to go ahead and indulge in rambling, though with the proviso that everything below is a tentative analysis that might well need to be revised once 11x09 has aired. As always, I’m glad of other people’s input, because I suspect I’m nowhere near done forming my opinion on this.

Before we start, I’d like to note that this post solely and specifically addresses how Mickey reacts to his dad and trauma on the show; it’s not a statement on how actual live trauma victims should or should not relate to their abusers. That really, really isn’t for me to say. Okay?

All right, then. Let’s get to it:

Following 10x12 I thought that Mickey was pretty much done with Terry; as far as he was concerned, that bridge was burned once Terry burned down The Bamboo Lotus, and even though they must have reached some sort of unspoken cold war type of truce (ie not actively trying to kill one another) Mickey seemed content to ignore his dad. No more asking for advice; no more helping out with various “jobs”; no more attempts at some semblance of a relationship, be it a cordial one or a murderous one. What we got in 11x06 didn’t really change that: seeing Terry thus weakened understandably stirred a lot of emotion in Mickey but both his choice not to kill his dad and his choice to eventually help him have arguably less to do with Terry or Mickey’s relationship to him, and more to do with what sort of person Mickey wants to be. At that point, he chooses to be a man stepping away from his father’s hateful legacy, wanting to be better than that. (And by God, Mickey dearest, you are so much better than that.) And that could have been the end of it, you know? That could have been closure of a sort – not in the sense that it in any way healed the wounds of the past, but in the sense that it signified Mickey finding a way to live with the hurt that allows him to move forward.

Now, we knew (from the episode descriptions) this wasn’t the end of their story, but I was still surprised by Mickey’s overt preoccupation with Terry in 11x08. This isn’t just someone doing the (more than) decent thing to be a decent person, this is genuine concern for Terry’s welfare – and while part of it might be tied to the ingrained idea that “family is family” and while Mickey is still very much aware of the fact that Terry is an utter piece of shit, it’s very hard not to read this as Mickey – once more, and probably without fully acknowledging it– being driven by a latent wish for his father’s approval, that need for connection. (As I’ve argued before, I think that’s why Ian’s not necessarily very enthusiastic about Mickey’s dedication, even though he thinks everyone should receive aid and even though he probably is quite taken with Mickey being so caring.)

But while I didn’t really see it coming, I do like it. I get why you’d rather have him finally and vocally and possibly violently denounce his dad; it’d be cathartic, surely, for a lot of people to see that. But to me, what we get feels truer to the complex push and pull of their fractured bond and is quite frankly more interesting to me because it is messy and complicated and unfinished. Terry is a nightmare; he’s still Mickey’s dad; the relationship between an abusive parent and a child is often highly complex, and I think the show has done a consistently good job of showing that. 11x08 is no exception. You might think Mickey should tell his dad to fuck of once and for all because Terry doesn’t deserve Mickey’s time or devotion (I mean, he really doesn’t), but I find it highly realistic that Mickey would opt for this instead now that it’s a possibility. (It’s relevant to note, I think, that Mickey only allows himself to approach Terry again when Terry is helpless and not in a position to actually harm him; Mickey’s ultimately in control here, and I think that’s very important.)

So yeah, I think Mickey is searching for something from his dad still, but I don’t think he quite gets it. Can’t get it, really.

See, I believe that Terry, to some small degree at least, regrets not having a better relationship with Mickey: that’s how I read “you’d probably have made a half-decent son”. However, his regret isn’t tied to any notions of “I wish I’d been better and given another chance I’d try to do things differently” but instead an expression of “yeah, it suck’s that you’re gay so I had to hate you”. It’s not an acceptance of responsibility or even a vague hint of being willing to change or to accept Mickey for who he is, and because of that – because Terry is not willing or able to change and because Mickey will no longer accept anything less – Mickey’s potential but unvoiced dreams of reconciliation cannot be fulfilled. (And let’s be clear: even if Terry did repent and changed and made what amends he could that doesn’t undo or make up for the damage he has done and Mickey has zero obligation to forgive him or spend even another second in his company.)

So it’s not enough – what could be? – but it is something. A grudging acknowledgment of Mickey’s good qualities, an admission that he is desirable as a son – or would be, if it weren’t for that one thing. :/ It’s recognition and rejection all wrapped into one, and I really like Mickey’s response: he makes it clear that he knows that he’s not the problem here and that he’s fully aware of what an evil bastard Terry is but that he still chooses to be there; chooses to feed Terry and find him a nurse, rather than scoop his eyeballs out or piss on him or use his mouth for a fucking ashtray.

It reminds me of a passage from the Swedish novel Beartown by Fredrik Backman: “She will hold all the power in that moment, but she will spare him. She doesn’t forgive, she doesn’t pardon, she merely spares him. He will always know it.” (2017[2016]:466, my translation.)

It’s remarkable too, I find, that Mickey doesn’t try to hide his hurt here: he allows himself to be vulnerable, to let his father see the pain he has caused. And Terry doesn’t pounce on it; he doesn’t scorn Mickey’s “weakness” or argue with his denunciation; he accepts the judgement and opens his mouth to accept the food without further protest, accepting – in that moment, at least – what Mickey chooses to give him. He concedes his loss of power and his dependance on the son he tortured and disowned. (But it’s not like he gives fully either – there’s no apology, no thanks, no actually asking for help: he just opens his mouth. It’s a lot for Terry, and I think we can acknowledge that, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is an utter and total asshole – and I’m glad that the show didn’t have him do more, because that would have felt… unlikely to me.)

It’s such a small thing, and so far less than what Mickey deserves, but probably more than he expected at this point. In time I think it will be helpful to him, to have gotten even this much, but at the time of Terry’s death I’d argue that it adds to rather than lessens Mickey’s burden. Because it’s possible that this could serve as a bookend to their relationship: not a reconciliation but as much of peace as they’ll ever know – eyes lifted to momentarily meet across the abyss in one brief instance of seeing, and being seen by, one another. But going only by what we get in 11x08 I don’t think that this is quite it, and rather than Mickey (in the moment) taking this as the final word or where they stand I think that he – in spite of everything Terry has done – can’t help but think of this exchange as an opening, the potential start of something. Not sure it’s a conscious thing, or how comfortable he is with this notion, because of course he is still very angry with and hates his dad, but consider the way he keeps looking at his phone and insisting they check back in with the nurse: that’s not the actions of someone who has laid things to rest and let it go, that’s Mickey doubling down on being a concerned son and… Yeah. As things stand, I tend to think that he was hoping against hope that maybe, possibly–

And then Terry is dead and Mickey is left with all of his conflicting emotions and nothing to do with them. It’d have been easier, probably, if it hadn’t been for that tiny, tiny softening; that small flare of hope I think Mickey might be quite angry with himself for feeling, if he admits to feeling it at all. It’d be easier if he could just hate Terry, you know?

Now, we don’t know what Mickey would have done if Terry (and that’s a big fucking if) had ever indicated any actual regret. But whether Mickey would have wanted that opportunity to rekindle a relationship with his father or if he’d have used to spit in Terry’s face and spend five hours telling him why Mickey would never forgive him and felt nothing but hatred and revulsion for him, that choice was forever and finally taken from him.

However, I don’t think this means that Mickey won’t find closure; I believe he will, and I think – hope – that we’ll get to see some of that in the next episode. Because the thing about Terry not being willing or able to change means that he would never have been able to give Mickey what he truly needed anyway (and as mentioned, even if he did change there’s no undoing his crimes). It was always going to come down to Mickey finding a way to live with the scars; finding a way to make some sort of peace with the past (which doesn’t have to include making peace with Terry at all) and to let it be the past. He doesn’t strictly speaking need Terry for that and given what an asshole Terry is, maybe it’s actually easier to manage it when he’s not around to fuck it up.

So yeah. It’s not likely to be sweet or neat or even very conclusive – these things rarely are and recovery is a process – but I think that Mickey will get some closure one way or another, and I believe that in the end he’ll be glad for the tiny moment they shared just before Terry’s death, even if it’s a complicating factor now.

(It should also be noted that Terry isn’t horrible just as an evil response to Mickey being gay; he was plenty horrible to him and the rest of his kids outside of that too. Consider Mickey listing the awful things Terry did when Mickey was just a kid; consider Mandy telling Debbie in season 5 that she learned how to cover up a bruise form living with Terry. The attempted murder(s) and corrective rape and disowning Mickey was a result of Terry’s virulent homophobia, but he was an awful father long before he knew Mickey was gay. So even without the homophobia, there’d be a hell of a lot to hate him for.)

There’s certainly more to say on this topic, and I think that we’ll have reason to return to it come Sunday - but for now, that’s most of my thoughts, I think.

#thank you for the very interesting ask nonnie #have 2k words in response #11x08 #mickey milkovich #terry milkovich #meta #asks

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bqstqnbruin · 5 years ago

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Bubble, bubble, toil, and trouble

Ok, every single time I see Nick Robertson in a notification on my phone, I think of the anon who keeps requesting I write about him and hope that you’re excited (I have no idea if it’s the same person each time so how ever many people it is I hope you’re all happy).

This one is a little shorter, but I wanted to get it out since it was relevant to what’s going on now (also sorry the leafs went home but you know I’m a Bruins fan y i k e s)

I hope you like this! _____________

“Kasperi Kapanen, Robertson wants the puck, and he scores! Nick Robertson with his first National Hockey League goal! And it is three, nothing, Toronto.”

You started screaming, jumping up and down without a care in the world that you might be waking up your roommate, your neighbors, the people below you, anyone else might hear you ecstatic that your boyfriend just scored his first NHL goal. You can think of nothing else but immediately blowing up his phone with texts about how proud you are of him, recording the replay of his goal and posting in on your snap and insta stories. This was everything he had been working for his entire life, even if you hadn’t known him the entire time. Hopefully, this was the first of many goals, whether it was with Toronto or another team that wanted him.

After the game, the texts on his phone made him smile, especially after losing in overtime, putting them on the brink of going home. One on hand, it would mean going home to see you, but on the other, there was no way he wanted to stop playing in the NHL so soon after he had started. The guys around him weren’t too happy about the loss, either.

“Perk up, bud,” Travis tells him, “It’s one loss. We still have a chance.”

“It’s not the loss,” Nick admits, staring down at his phone. His lock screen, and yours, was a picture the two of you had taken together before the season had started. Over the summer, you went out to his family’s beach house, spending the entire week enjoying the world around you. You were on his back, kissing his cheek while he’s beaming at the camera, even though you couldn’t tell because of his sunglasses. Seeing that picture normally made him happy when he couldn’t see you, but something about tonight, it just wasn’t the same.

“Is it my sister?” Nick nods, staring at the picture. What he would give to see you in person right now. “I get it. I miss my girl and my dog, too. Everyone misses someone.”

Nick looks up at Travis, immediately looking back down at this phone. The two of you looked so much alike, just looking at your brother made him crazy. “I just never imagined my first playoffs would be in a bubble like this. I never thought my first NHL games would be like this.”

Travis nods, looking at the kid’s face. He understood what it was like to be away from family, hell he even missed you. Nick definitely had it harder than any of the other guys; he was the youngest in the playoffs, he just scored his first goal and couldn’t celebrate with the people he cared about, and he didn’t know if he was going to end his NHL debut in the next game or not.

Nick was one of the first ones out of the locker room that night. None of the guys were in the mood to celebrate, even if he did just score his first professional goal, and all he wanted to do was go back to his room and Facetime you.

“Alright boys, we have a rookie to cheer up,” Travis says to the remaining guys in the locker room.

-----------

“Babe, I am so proud of you!” you practically screech at the sight of his face on your phone.

You had been facetime each other nightly, trying to keep up with each other as much as possible. With him in the bubble and you on summer break, not much really happened other than you two just sitting on the phone while you watched the same thing on Netflix. Not that either of you cared; it was the closest thing to being with each other that you could have for who knows how long?

“Thanks,” he says, halfheartedly. He was right in Toronto, in the same city as you, and yet he still felt so far away from you. He knows that if the two of you were able to be together, then you would be going out right now to celebrate. You would have been at the game, not watching it from the TV, on what was probably some sort of broadcast delay.

“Nick, what’s wrong?” you could tell her was upset, he wasn’t the best at hiding his emotions. He just scored his first goal, he should be so happy.

“I just miss you,” he says, not looking at you.

The pain in his voice was heartbreaking. You miss him, too, of course, but him hearing that would just make it hurt even more, wouldn’t it? “I miss you, too. Hell, I even miss Travis. But look at it this way: the longer you’re there, that means the more you’re playing, and the closer you guys are getting to that cup. Next year when you’re on the roster, you’re going to be traveling all the time. Look at this as practice for when you do that.”

As you’re giving him your mini-lecture, Travis and some of the other guys start blowing up a group chat you didn’t know you were in with them. “Give me one sec?” He nods, going back to watching whatever episode of Supernatural you were on. The boys had a plan, and somehow you think it was going to work.

“Everything alright?” you hear him ask as your phone continues to ding with instructions from Travis and Mitch. Somehow, they were the ones in charge.

You switch back to Nick, the stream of texts still flowing. “Yeah, everything is perfect.”

Seeing the smile on your face, he couldn’t help but smile back. “I wish I were with you.”

“Yeah, but that would mean you weren’t doing what you love. I would rather you be playing. And scoring the first of what will be many goals.”

----------

The next night, the boys were playing again. Losing this game meant that they would be going home the next morning, their bid for the cup on hold until the next season, whenever that start date may be. Win this game, play do or die on Sunday. Lose, and go home.

Lose, and go home. That sounded so good to Nick, if he had to be honest. He loved to play, but being in the bubble for this long was way harder than he imagined it would be. He wasn’t focusing at all during the game. The only time he wasn’t thinking about you was when he was actually on the ice.

Lost this game, and he gets to see you tomorrow.

But win this game, and he has to wait. And that means he gets to play more hockey, bringing him closer to the cup.

Auston ends up scoring the game winning goal in overtime, sending the series to game 5. The Leafs had a history of pushing a first round series to the very last game. They just hoped that this time they actually moved past this round instead of exiting early.

The boys in the locker room were screaming, celebrating that they survived another day in the bubble. Travis tried everything to get Nick to celebrate with them; all of their teammates did. He knew that once he got back to his room, everything would be alright.

“Come on! Live a little! We’re here until Sunday at least. And you can still facetime my sister, you have all day Saturday to text her and call her when we aren’t practicing, and I’m pretty sure you have at least seven thousand photos of her on your phone. Plus, I can get my mom to send me some baby pictures if you really want those,” Travis tells Nick, wrapping his arm around the young player as he sulks back to his room.

“I should be happy. I just miss Y/N.”

“Yeah, I know. I told you I know. But I think that once you get back in your room, everything will be alright.”

The look on his face slightly worried Nick. You had been acting weird after you had paused him that first time last night, switching back and forth between his face and something else on your phone, but you wouldn’t tell him what. And you had been nearly radio silent today. What if you were cheating on him while he was in the bubble? Is that something you would do?

He opens his door, Travis not leaving as Auston and Mitch for some reason join up with them. This was weird, right? Nick could have sworn that he had turned off the lights and the TV in his room when they left for the game, yet both were on. “Oh my god!” he yells when he sees you sitting on the bed.

You practically jump off the bed and into his arms, him hugging you like he was never going to let you go again.

“How are you here?” he asks. He can feel himself starting to cry, but not in front of the guys. He was just so happy you were actually here.

“I kind of have a great brother,” you say once he puts you down. The three boys are beaming behind you, even though Mitch and Travis were the ones who did everything, Auston was more just in the chat just to be included.

“We convinced some people to let her in,” Travis admits. “Now let me hug my sister, you get her all night.”

He pries you away from Nick, even though the last thing he wanted to do was let you ago. But he had to let you hug Travis. Hell, he wanted to hug Travis. They somehow managed to get you into the hotel just so you could spend a night with him.

“Ok, now. Get out,” you say to Travis, wriggling free from Travis and walking back over to Nick. He wraps his arms around you, planting a kiss on your forehead as he forgets that the other guys are even there. “I want to spend the night with my boyfriend, not my brother.”

“I can’t believe you’re here,” he says once his three teammates leave. He owed them big time, but that was a problem for a later date.

“Well, I missed you, and they said they could get me into the hotel, following other rules which I didn’t question, but hey, we’re going to go with it,” you say.

He pulls you in for a kiss, never wanting it to end. If only you could stay in the bubble with him forever.

#nick robertson #nick robertson imagines #travis dermott #toronto maple leafs #toronto maple leafs imagines #maple leafs #leafs #maple leafs imagines #leafs imagine #nhl #nhl imagines #bubble hockey #mitch marner #listen they're mentioned in the fic leave me alone no on reads my tags anyway do they?

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shadowsong26fic · 3 years ago

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Coming Attractions!

A day late, but ah well...

As usual, we’ll go ahead and do an Open Question Night. Which basically means that, while my ask box is always open, tonight I’ll be keeping an eye on it and answering things as they come in. Any fandom or work I’ve talked about here (or posted on AO3) is fair game, as are general questions about writing, etc. I do accept prompts, but I am. Not very good at filling them in a timely manner unless they Immediately spark something, lol.

So, yeah, what’s on your mind?

Also, since I don’t think I have for a couple months, plug for my Discord server! It’s pretty quiet, mostly intended to be a slightly more interactive extension of this space, but you’re welcome to check it out!

Anyway, the usual Coming Attractions details are behind the cut!

PodTogether 2021:

I participated in this challenge for the first time this year, and it was a whole lot of fun! Of Other Suns is a SW/AtLA crossover, and I think it turned out pretty well! My reader/podficcer and I worked pretty closely together during the initial brainstorming process, working out what we wanted to do, and also bounced off one another during the whole editing/finalizing process. There’s a lot that I didn’t end up putting into the fic (because time and length; I am a. Uh. Very wordy writer; the aim was for 6-12k words, we ended up with nearly 15k as it is...), so I might poke more at this specific AU, or crossovers linking up at a different time (either a different point in the SW canon, or in the AtLA canon, or both). I...definitely have extensive headcanons for SW characters as benders of various elements (or nonbenders), and there are at least two Force-sensitive AtLA characters who were outside the scope of the crossover.

Anyway, if you want to check it out...click this link XD (and definitely listen to the podfic too!!! It’s really great)

Precipice:

So, between the final push on PodTogether and some origfic stuff I got done, I...did not get anything finished and posted for this, alas. But! I am saying it here in the hopes that doing so publicly will for once get me to actually stick to a deadline, which is that I will get either the first Protectors chapter or the next Preludes one-shot (or both!) up by this Sunday, September 12. The Protectors chapter will be mostly scene-setting, establishing where various characters are when we open, six years after we last saw our heroes. The Preludes segment will involved Hondo contacting Obi-Wan (and Anakin, who’s with him when he gets the call) about something Relevant To Their Interests.

I will for sure get that Prelude out this month, and hopefully at least two Protectors chapters, but we’ll see how things go at work and how much brain that takes, which is always a factor...anyway, with any luck, I’ll start establishing a Rhythm. I don’t think I’ll be doing weekly updates, the way I did for the first few arcs of Precipice (in part because there are some other longform projects I intend to start putting out and if I am going to do Weekly Fic Posts, I’ll probably alternate), but we’ll see how things go.

AtLA Fic:

Again, I didn’t finish what I wanted to (other than the aforementioned crossover for PodTogether), but I have been working on stuff in the background and, while I’m not going to commit to a Specific Deadline like I am for Precipice, I do plan to post at least the opening chapter of the still-untitled Avatar Zuko AU I’ve been working on this month, so watch this space!

Other Fic Projects:

I’m poking around at what to do for next years SWBB (if only because my wordcounts have been Steadily Increasing and I’d like to get a head start in anticipation of that happening again this year, lol). Still considering exactly what to do, whether I pour all my focus into OFLAM, like I consider every year, or see if I can work up Bail Unfucks the Timeline or another half-plotted AU I have in the back of my head, or go with a different prompt/storyline that occurs to me at some point between now and then, but I’m starting to Actively Ponder things.

I do have that BSG1 crossover outline in the works, I swear XD I’ve got...uh...maybe half to two thirds of the first third of the overall storyline written up? XD It’s a. Uh. Long one. I might go ahead and release it in three parts, just for length/convenience, and because it does more or less have three distinct sections (the initial contact/New Caprica fallout and establishment of the Haven settlement which makes sense in context; the second contact/algae planet; and then an adventure on a resurrection ship to retrieve a Specific Boxed Five and possibly walk away with Ellen because that would just ruin Cavil’s day and I do so love to ruin Cavil’s day, lol). ...I’m going to go ahead and post a preview snippet at the bottom of this post, as Motivation XD

I think that’s all the fanfic stuff I have specific updates for. There’s generally always stuff noodling around in my brain (lately, for Star Wars, AtLA, BSG, or some combination of the three), it’s just how much of it materializes, lol.

At some point, I plan to revisit some BSG epics I had going on (Serenissima; rewriting For Sorrow Sung or doing a slightly different storlyine with the same concept; The Other Battlestar; a few others), but no concrete plans as of yet.

I also kind of want to explore a far-past AtLA setting I designed for a challenge community way back? But I’m not sure if that would work better as an original work with the serial numbers filed off, if I could figure out how I wanted to do that (I have done it before, as I’ll talk about below, but this concept, while not directly involving any characters from Avatar canon as it’s set 2000 years prior to Sozin’s reign, does to an extent lean on the Avatar specifically as a concept, in a way that the other fic I did this with did not).

Original Fic:

Due to a challenge on rainbowfic, I actually got. Quite a bit written? Most of it was not super plot-relevant, but I dropped some Hints about a character in Lux and I got to play in some heads I don’t very often. I might go back to the Regency AU at some point, and there’s a specific reveal I want to write up for a secondary character in The Farglass Cycle, but I haven’t quite figured out how to structure that one, so we’ll see how it goes.

Had an interesting discussion the other day about the way original fiction sometimes starts as fanfic with the serial numbers filed off and...well, a lot of my original stuff starts that way? Or has some roots there, anyway.

Lux doesn’t quite as much, but I definitely ported in at least two characters who started as fanfic characters (leaving aside that this is, y’know, The Apocalypse IN SPACE so, like. Various fandoms that deal with that probably influenced things, plus several key players are Public Domain Characters sooooo), plus some of the way the world is constructed draws on the Native Tongue trilogy and I flat-out stole a concept from Queen of the Damned, though the way it works in this world is different (also, to be fair, I think I’ve seen it in other places, too; but I personally got the idea from there).

The Farglass Cycle and Untitled Intrigues Story, however, straight-up started as fanfic concepts. And I don’t think it’s obvious unless I point out what the source materials were? Farglass, in particular (it’s the AtLA fic I mentioned earlier), because it started as an alternate future and then the map and magic system got reworked, plus the Avatar themself wasn’t even super involved in the original fic context, and while certain characters are very loosely based on AtLA characters, by now they’ve been so altered by the setting that it’s...I used the same archetypes, if that makes sense?

And then Untitled Intrigues Story started as a fusion between two wildly different fandoms, and while one character is a pretty clear expy if you know where he comes from, and another character kept the same actress in my head, I don’t think it’s very clear other than that.

...anyway, not sure where I’m going with that, other than it’s been in my head lately, lol.

...I think that about covers it! What about you guys? What are you all working on? Slash any questions, etc.?

Teaser for BSG1 AU outline, as promised:

So, anyway, SG-1 is prepared for rain and mud and a survivable-but-kinda-unpleasant environment. They’re also prepared for the usual shenanigans--Goa’uld, cranky local politics, weird alien tech that Daniel really should know better than to touch but sends him into another dimension anyway...

Just. Y’know. A normal mission.

They’re...not quite prepared for what they actually find when they step through.

Which is a very tense and now slightly Confused crowd of people, and a firing squad made up of very large killer robots, with a teenage girl as their target.

(One of the large killer robots is. Uh. Well. Half a large killer robot now; that particular Centurion was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got kawooshed in the face. As one does.)

(Said Centurion absolutely wins the ‘Weirdest Death’ pool for the week in Download City, because that is clearly a thing that exists because it entertains me)

There’s a beat where everyone just stares at everyone else, trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

The wormhole disengages.

Daniel takes half a step forward, opens his mouth to start the ‘we are peaceful explorers from Earth and y’all seem to be having a Moment here, sorry for interrupting, but, uh...’

And then the moment end and absolute chaos erupts.

#coming attractions #open question night #shadowsong writes star wars #shadowsong writes atla #shadowsong writes crossovers #shadowsong writes original fic #feedback greatly appreciated

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rachelkaser · 4 years ago

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Stay Golden Sunday: Adult Education

Blanche is sexually harassed by one of her college professors. The other Girls try to get tickets to a Frank Sinatra concert.

Picture It...

Dorothy is on the phone, trying to get tickets to an upcoming Frank Sinatra concert. She’s almost seen him in concert multiple times and doesn’t want to miss another chance. Blanche enters, upset because she’s failed her psychology midterm. If she fails the course, she won’t get the secondary degree she needs for a promotion. Meanwhile, Dorothy is furious that the concert has already sold out. She, Rose, and Sophia discuss alternate ways of getting tickets, with Sophia promising that she’s “got connections.”

Rose tries to help Blanche study, but it’s obvious Blanche isn’t concentrating. Dorothy comes home, saying she tried ticket brokers, but the only way she’s going to get tickets is to go to a scalper, which she plans to do over Rose’s objections. Blanche tries to head out of the house to go to a bar, but the other Girls tell her to keep studying. Blanche says she’s just not getting the material. Dorothy encourages her to talk to her teacher -- she did it when she was a kid with a speech impediment, and her teacher helped her.

ROSE: Whatever happened to your teacher, Mrs. Lenoff? DOROTHY: Oh gosh, last I heard she retired from teaching, opened a bed and breakfast someplace in Wode Island...…..Rhode Island.

After one of her classes, Blanche approaches Professor Cooper and tries to talk to him about the problems she’s been having. He tells her she’s the only student who failed the midterm and she’ll need an A to even pass the class. She asks if there’s anything she can do to make it up, and he starts to imply she’ll have to do some “hard work.” She says she’ll do whatever she has to, and he gives her his home phone number, and tells her to “use it” if she wants her A while caressing her hand. Blanche picks up on his meaning and is horrified.

Dorothy comes home to Rose and Sophia, and tells them she balked during her deal with the scalper, so now she’s not sure what else to do to get tickets. Sophia thinks she shouldn’t have chickened out. Rose tries to reason that maybe they just aren’t meant to go. Dorothy, on the other hand, is determined to finally see Sinatra in concert.

ROSE: Here we are, Sophia. The perfect after-dinner treat: A nice dish of Jell-O. SOPHIA: I hate Jell-O. If God wanted peaches suspended in midair, He would have filled them with helium.

Blanche comes home and tells the other Girls what happened. Rose and Dorothy are furious on her behalf (Sophia is indifferent), and encourage her to report him for sexual harassment. Blanche didn’t outright refuse him, because she’s not sure if she can pass the course, but they tell her she’ll feel terrible about herself if she gives in. They relate their own stories of sexual harassment: Dorothy was harassed by the principal at her first teaching job (while he was in a corset and high heels), and Rose was harassed by a soda jerk who arranged her sundaes in an obscene way.

Blanche visits the Dean of the school, and he’s swamped, having just started the job. He initially tries to brush her off, not wanting to deal with such a big problem as sexual harassment, but she shames him into taking a report. She describes to him what happened, and he’s aghast, but when she tells him there were no witnesses, he becomes cagey. He says he can’t do anything because it’s just Blanche’s word against Professor Cooper’s, and has the audacity to say, “A man’s career is at stake!” Blanche points out that hers is too, but Dean Tucker dismisses her from the office.

DOROTHY: *regarding Sophia’s tickets* Ma, how in the world did you get these? SOPHIA: Easy -- I called Frank. I told you I had connections. ROSE: You know Frank Sinatra?! SOPHIA: No, Frank Caravicci, from the fish market. He’s always been good to me, never a bad piece of cod. He knows Frank. BLANCHE: Sinatra? SOPHIA: No, Frank Tortoni, the dry cleaner. Tina’s third cousin once removed. DOROTHY: Tina Tortoni? SOPHIA: Tina Sinatra!

When Blanche returns home, Rose immediately starts in with her own story -- she was listening to a contest on the radio, and managed to win tickets to the Sinatra concert. Blanche starts to tell her story, but Dorothy interrupts to say she managed to buy tickets for the concert from a scalper (after convincing the person who was going to buy them that she had three weeks to live). Just when Blanche gets their attention again, Sophia walks in and reveals she got tickets too -- prime tickets in the third row, thanks to her aforementioned connections. Blanche finally snaps and says she’s going to handle this herself and goes to study her butt off.

During her final exam, Blanche stays right up to the end. Professor Cooper not-so-subtly hints that she might have to retake the course as she hands her exam in. She tells him that’s not going to happen and he initially thinks she’s taking him up on his offer. She instead lays him out, telling him she decided to get an A on the final in part to spite him for treating her that way -- and she did. I can’t really capture how good this moment is; see it for yourself:

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Later that night, the other three Girls come home to worried Blanche at 2 am. Turns out Dorothy tried to scalp their seven extra tickets to an undercover police officer. So Dorothy once again missed her chance to see Sinatra. Blanche tells the other Girls she told off her Professor, but unfortunately the promotion for which she got the degree has already been taken by a woman who got a tummy tuck and a butt lift. But, as Blanche says the line that takes us into the analysis section:

“Some day her butt will turn to mush, but I’ll always have my degree!”

Sometimes a Golden Girls Very Special Episode hits you over the head with its Very Special-ness using dramatic music or tear-jerking lines. See, for example, the episode about the break-in. Sometimes a VSE sneaks up on you, cloaking itself in gags and jokes, only to reveal a shockingly relevant message at its core. In this case, the topic is sexual harassment, and the message is that women should push back against that kind of behavior in whatever way they can. It’s a little simplistic, but it gets the job done.

ROSE: At least you’re doing well in your other two courses. BLANCHE: But those are art course. They come easier to me. I’ve always had a great appreciation for arts and... artists. SOPHIA: And carpenters and mechanics, and delivery boys.

Out of all the episodes I’ve thus far reviewed of Golden Girls, it depresses me that this one’s core concept is still so pertinent in the times we’re living. In this, the age of #MeToo, it’s more important now than ever. Everything Blanche goes through here can (and does) happen today, in almost exactly the same way it happens here. It would almost be upsetting to watch, if Blanche weren’t such a badass about the situation -- and hell, even then it’s hard to stomach parts of the episode. Hell, just look at Blanche’s expression in the image at the top of this post, when Professor Cooper gropes her hand after making her his scuzzy offer.

I mean, look at what happens to Blanche in this episode: She’s demeaned by her professor, the person who’s supposed to be helping her, and told she’ll have to sleep with him if she wants to pass the course and get the degree she wants. He even prefaces his offer with, “If you really want that degree,” which just reeks of the same kind of manipulative bullshit I and many others have heard from harassers. Then, when she tries to report him through official channels, she’s dismissed by another man who has the absolute temerity to say he can’t take her word for it because, “A man’s career is at stake!” In what’s perhaps the most progressive moment of the episode, Blanche stands up and retorts, “Well so is mine! Not to mention my dignity!”

ROSE: Look, if the tickets are that hard to get, maybe we just weren’t meant to go. DOROTHY: Maybe you weren’t, Rose. But two weeks from now, I intend to be sitting in front of Old Blue Eyes himself. Live, in-person, middle-aged spread and all. ROSE: Dorothy, you can take off a few pounds by then if you put your mind to it.

In a way, I’m glad the writers had Blanche consider the offer, however briefly. That’s the devil of it when it comes to harassment like this: One party is in power over the other, and manipulating the vulnerability that the lack of power gives them, and because of that the victim might think it’s easier or less confrontational to just go along with it. Blanche, in this case, is on the verge of failing and losing her degree and a chance at a promotion -- she even tells him this, which is unfortunate given his malicious intent -- and so he has the power to both really help and (this is the important part) really hurt her depending on how she responds. And it’s crucial that this vulnerability and the effects of this kind of manipulation be recognized, because -- and I think this needs to be stressed -- even if Blanche had agreed, she would still be a victim.

I am ridiculously proud of Blanche for choosing to get back at her professor by taking the test and keeping her nose clean. I’m pretty sure that, if he tried to ding her score so she didn’t get an A, she could file an appeal and get the test reviewed, and her professor could be then be censured if he graded her unfairly. At least, I’m assuming that’s how it works within the show’s logic, and that’s why she can tell him off without it affecting her grade. We don’t get much resolution, or see the professor get his comeuppance, but sadly that, too, is realistic. I choose to hope for the best outcome.

ROSE: My life will be ruined if this ever gets home to St. Olaf. DOROTHY: What’ll they do, Rose? Revoke your ice fishing license? Take back your helmet with the horns?

That’s not to say this episode is completely above-board with the way it handles the topic, at least not by today’s standards. Some of the ways they try to inject humor into the situation don’t feel especially natural and are even insensitive. Dorothy’s principal wearing a corset and high heels while harassing her is alright, as jokes go. Rose’s story about Nils, the soda jerk who harassed her via ice cream scoops (side note: not “attempted to” harass her, did harass her; important distinction) is very funny, but Blanche bringing it up later just to mess with her felt more than a little mean.

Also, I’m not crazy about the fact that Blanche’s storyline culminates in her losing her promotion to the unseen Sally Folgeson. I don’t want to sound like I’m reaching, but I think the implication is that the museum director promoted Sally because the tummy tuck and butt lift made her more attractive -- meaning, Sally is using her body to get ahead, the same thing the Girls encouraged Blanche not to do. I’m glad Blanche is cool with it, but it kind of punctures the message a bit, doesn’t it? Also, shame on that museum director, because YUCK. If that’s what it takes to get ahead at that museum, then I don’t think Blanche would have wanted the promotion in the first place.

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Probably the most troubling part of the episode to me is that Rose and Dorothy are more helpful and attentive to Blanche when she’s neglecting her studies than they are after she’s been sexually harassed by her professor. I know that’s part of the comedy, but I’m honestly a little offended that they’re so wrapped up in a Frank Sinatra concert that they can’t even be bothered to make sure Blanche is okay after her test. And this is coming from someone who would absolutely hock an organ to go back in time and hear Sinatra live.

Speaking of the B-plot, this episode is very well-balanced, with Rose, Dorothy, and Sophia getting roughly equal screen-time while Blanche handles the A-plot. I love that they’re getting better at this, because it makes for a better episode overall when one character (usually Sophia) isn’t getting reduced down to a handful of lines. They even give Sophia an extra bit where she’s cleaning out her purse and makes a few cracks at Rose on, including the immortal line:

ROSE: Did all that stuff come out of your purse? SOPHIA: No, I was also cleaning out my ears. That’s where the Feenamint and the rain bonnet came from.

This culminates in the great scene where Blanche is trying to get a word in edgewise, only for all of her roommates to come in with their own triumphant stories about acquiring the precious tickets back-to-back. As annoyed as I am with them for not listening to Blanche, it’s an hilarious scene that brings the two plotlines together and lets everyone’s comedic talents shine through, culminating in Sophia explaining how many degrees she’s separated from the family of Frank Sinatra.

I do have a few nitpicks. First, there’s a continuity error in the first scene when Dorothy describes how she almost saw Sinatra when Stan bought her tickets: She says that in the divorce settlement, she got “the house and the kids” while Stan got the tickets. Given that Dorothy’s only been divorced from Stan for two years, her children would have been in their thirties at the time of their divorce, so Dorothy wouldn’t be getting custody of them. It’s never made clear when Dorothy moved to Florida, but I presume she had to sell the house she got in the divorce at some point in order to move in with the other Girls.

ROSE: Oh, you can’t buy from a scalper. That’s a crime! DOROTHY: Well, so is eating grapes at the supermarket, but you do that all the time. ROSE: I have to test them. DOROTHY: Rose, one is testing. Fourteen is brunch.

A little historical housekeeping, as well: Vikings didn’t actually have horned helmets and, to my knowledge, they’re not called “Longenhödden.” Though, fun fact: I went back and scoured transcripts for the show up to this point, and this is the first time we hear that Rose’s hometown is called St. Olaf. So mark this episode as the official debut of the Cradle of Idiocy itself: St. Olaf, Minnesota!

Episode rating: 🍰🍰🍰🍰 (four slices out of five)

Favorite part of the episode:

Blanche’s exasperation with Rose’s story is the best:

ROSE: I was driving down Biscayne Boulevard-- BLANCHE: No. No! NO! NO! Please, I cannot bear that again. *to Dorothy* She was listening to her car radio -- Big Band, not All Talk. There was a contest. Something about a little voice, a lucky number, and a dime in a door handle, then bim bam boom, she won the tickets! DOROTHY:...take a lesson, Rose. That’s how you tell a story.

#golden girls #stay golden #blanche devereaux #sophia petrillo #rose nylund #dorothy zbornak #stay golden sunday #s01e20 #adult education #picture it

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ljandersen · 4 years ago

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Hey, sorry if this is silly, but I really admire your ability to write huge long stories and I have a few questions if you’re up for it. How consistently do you write, and how much would you estimate you write in a sitting/day/week? Do you edit while writing or after? How much do you think about word count while writing? How much do you set writing goals and how rigidly do you make yourself stick to them? Thanks :)

That’s not silly at all! I’m extremely flattered. I appreciate the questions. I don’t get many asks and when I do get one, I consider it a huge compliment. Plus, I love talking writing: mine, others’, the concept, whatever. These questions are awesome!

How consistently do you write, and how much would you estimate you write in a sitting/day/week?

I’ll be honest. I spend a lot of time writing, probably more than most people have the luxury of committing to a hobby. I do work a 40 hours job that’s stressful, and I have weekends when I’m on call. But I have an off day during the week and I have the weekends, which is when I do most of my writing. I spent a good portion of my day off and Sunday writing and some Saturday morning.

I prefer to write in big chunks of time to keep the mood and momentum flowing. Overall, in a sitting, I might write 4-5 hours. In one day, if I have no demands or anyone home, I might spend all day writing (10 hours). I’d say typically, though, it’s 5 hours on those days. In a week, that’s about 15-25 hours. It’s hard to say, though, because it varies with social responsibilities, house projects, and weekend commitments.

It’s probably important to say: writing isn’t a chore to me. It’s a passion. I’d rather write than do anything else: TV, videogames, books, whatever. The time I dedicate to writing or writing-related activities are my leisure hours and bring me a lot of fulfillment.

Do you edit while writing or after?

After! I would strongly recommend after. For me, editing during writing is inefficient, distracting, and often, a wasted effort. Why improve the beginning of my story with my current writing skill when, by the time I’ve finished the story, my skill is even better? I’ll have to edit that spot all over again to get it to my new standard.

Probably the biggest reason I edit after writing is to keep momentum. I don’t write with an outline, and my story develops as I go. I need to keep moving forward and avoid distractions pulling me backward. I keep a list on the side of the changes I need to make when I do my edit.

For instance, maybe there’s a fight scene in the sewers. What if character X knows the city plans to flood the system at a certain time, which will give character X the upper hand over the villain. Character X sees what time it is and remembers the tunnels will be flooded. He tricks the villain into taking the low ground. The alarms go off, they both freeze, a weird rushing sound, then whoosh the villain can’t outrun the water in time. I’d jot down in my notebook that character X needs to learn about the city flooding the sewers at a certain time. This is a big reason why I don’t post chapters before I’ve written the whole story and edited it.

Now, I could go back right at that time and add in a conversation where character X hears about the city flooding the sewers, but what if something changes again? What if there’s a solution to another fight scene later on that could dually be solved, if it wasn’t the city flooding the sewer, but a big storm system moving in? Now I have to go get rid of my previous edit and edit again.

After I’ve finished the story, I can see it as a whole piece. Now when I go back and edit, I can incorporate all those details and foreshadowing. I can streamline without wasted effort and focus solely on editing. I know exactly what I need to do, take out and add, and I’ve never been a more experienced writer than I am at that moment to make the changes.

How much do you think about word count while writing?

I don’t think about it at all. Since I write the first draft in notebooks, I don’t know what my word count even is until it’s typed up. With fanfic I have the luxury of writing how little or how much I like. Since I err on the long side, I focus my edits on decreasing word count, trimming scenes, and removing sections.

I know if I was trying to publish my stories, I would need to keep under a certain word count. For sci-fi/fantasy, I might be able to get away with 120 K. Unfortunately, I tend to write longer stories than that. While in my mind it’s all relevant and progressive, I’m sure publishers would like me to cut out the extra conversations between the romantic pair and throw out the quieter character moments. Fortunately, with fanfic, I don’t have to. It’s to me to decide if that scene is important to the story. Word count doesn’t matter.

That said, when I see the word count climbing on a second draft, I do start worrying I’m asking too much from readers. I may not be selling my book to a publisher to worry about keep word count lower, but I do hope people will read it and maybe let me know what they think. If it’s a juggernaut, the chance of that decreases. Who’s going to want to read it?

How much do you set writing goals and how rigidly do you make yourself stick to them?

I don’t set writing goals per say. I’ll be committed to seeing a story through to the end, which is a goal, but it’s not quantitative. A few months ago, I decided September would be a good goal to start posting “Sideways.” For a while, it didn’t look like that would work out. I was relying on a beta reader for chapter 1 and time was passing. I decided I wasn’t going to wait longer than September. Five week in limbo was long enough, and I edited the chapter myself with my best judgement. I guess in that sense, I had a goal and made sure it happened.

Typically, though, I don’t set a lot of goals. I never have quantitative goals like spending X hours writing or get X number of words by a certain date. It’s usually more like, “I want to get past this action sequence in the next two weeks. Otherwise, I’ll be hung up here forever.” I hate writing action sequences.

***

Thank you so much for the ask, alphahelices! It truly means a lot to me you’d be interested in my process and take the time to ask. I would say large word count isn’t something to aspire to, at least, in my mind. I suspect it limits readership in fanfic and, in traditional publishing, there is a hard ceiling for unpublished authors.

That said, thank you again for the support and encouragement you’ve shown me. You know, I love your writing. I’m forever impressed by your turns of phrase and the way you create such potent imagery. It’s poetic and beautiful. Profound. It means a lot you can enjoy my writing when your own writing is so impressive. Again, thanks!

#my writing #writing #ask

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jaehyun-eclipsed · 5 years ago

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Before I Met You | Thirteen

Updates: Sundays

Pairing: NCT (Jaehyun, Lucas, Mark, Jaemin, Johnny) X Reader/OC

Genre: Romance, Angst, Coming of Age

Summary: Four. There were four people before I fell in love with you… Here are their stories.

Warnings: Some swearing and mentions of mature content

Before I Met You Masterlist

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Choi Jisu.

Interestingly, I don’t actually know Jisu personally. I only know of her. She’s a year older than me and I only recognize her because she was dating an upperclassman from my high school when he became a student here. She was always tagging him in their photos together.

I scoff. No wonder I hadn’t been seeing those lately. She has a new man. I sigh. Small world.

I select her profile and begin clicking through her viewable photos. Jisu is an avid photo taker – and not the artistic kind. She’s the kind that clearly demonstrates the need to post about everything she does for social, and ultimately, external validation – as illustrated by her endless number of publicly available photo albums, allowing me to quickly discover that she participates in beauty pageants… and wins.

And as I juggle all that information, it starts to make sense. She’s used to being the center of attention. In fact, she likes being the center of attention and being treated like she’s important, hence her behavior regarding Jaemin opening the door for her. She has “high maintenance” written all over her.

As I continue browsing through her photos, I notice that all of the pictures she had with the guy from my high school are gone. Jisu clearly likes publicizing all of her relationships while she’s in them… and then quickly deleting any evidence of them as soon as they’re over as if they never even happened.

Wouldn’t that bother her? Having all 700 of her Facebook friends be able to pinpoint when she started a new relationship and with whom. One boyfriend after another – someone who clearly has difficulties being alone. It’s common for a lot of people, but why would you want everyone to know?

Her second most recent album that’s titled “Third Year – Summer” is where I find the photos of relevance – the photos showcasing her new and blooming romance with Jaemin. Most of them are pretty standard: dinner outings and various dates to the park and ice cream parlor.

My nostrils flare as I glare at the screen. That scumbag. Blatantly flirting with me when he has a girlfriend that he has conveniently left out of every conversation we’ve ever had!

I don’t know what to do with this information.

Wow, Jaemin! You probably thought you were so slick – and I’ll admit, you had me there for a second! But you made the mistake of bringing her home and coincidentally, I happen to know her. That last bit isn’t your fault, but really, what are the chances in a school with thousands of people?

I am not okay with this! We’ve already had an experience of a guy with a girlfriend flirting with me and it didn’t end well!

Am I just supposed to back off? But I didn’t do anything. I’m not even supposed to know anything!

I huff in irritation. I genuinely need help in physics and Jaemin has been quite helpful the last couple times I asked him. I conclude that I have two options: continue what I’ve been doing and act like I know nothing or find a new physics tutor.

The first option is purely convenient since he lives right down the hall and I know he can help, but it tests my moral conscience. The second option is more work on my part because I’d have to go through the tedious task of finding a new person and determining whether or not they’re any good.

But then I ask myself another question: am I actually doing anything wrong? I’m not the one who’s flirting. I can’t control how he acts around me. I’m not even supposed to know about this… but my conscience reminds me that I unfortunately do know about this.

Goddamn. Why’d I have to be home at this time?

Screw my conscience, I need help. My grade is more important and the flirting is kind of flattering.

And that’s the thing about the supposed “ignorance is bliss”: it can be taken away from you at any time, without your consent.

Hydroxyl groups are alcohols including methanol, ethanol, etc. They are polar and can form hydrogen bonds. Have the ability to assist in dissolving compounds such as sugars.

A carbonyl group is a carbon atom connected to an oxygen atom via a double bond.

I roll my eyes and chuck my highlighter to the side, sighing in annoyance as I look around the empty dining room. I’m so lame. It’s Friday night and I’m sitting at home studying.

Despite having adjusted a bit better at the beginning of my second year, I still haven’t made many friends that I can hang out with. The “friends” I have are mostly acquaintances – classmates that I could contact if I ever need anything for class. That’s why I was quite thrilled that Jaemin seemed pretty cool and that he actually liked spending time with me. But I’m not sure how I feel about this new revelation. Based on the superficial facts, I have qualms to pick with his moral compass.

So I started contemplating other housemates I was interested in getting to know – people I could come home to and hang out with in the common rooms. Jaemin’s other roommate – Jeno – seemed worth speaking to. Renjun is polite, but he’s built a nearly impenetrable wall to his friendship. Perhaps he’s just more comfortable with guys.

I turn my head when Jeno walks into the dining room. We make eye contact for several seconds before he turns away and continues into the kitchen. That’s how it always is with him. He’s always expressionless when he looks at me, but his eyes appear to betray him with that lingering glance that tells me he knows something.

I hear the opening of cabinets, the clanging of pots and pans followed by the stove fan being turned on.

I don’t know what’s so scary about going up to new people – like you’re constantly afraid of being judged for talking to them. I know they don’t care, but this feels different considering Jeno and I have seen each other many times, never acknowledging each other, just… staring.

Jeno? He’s nice. You should introduce yourself to him!

Jaemin’s encouraging words convince me to get up from my seat and walk into the kitchen. Jeno is standing in front of the stove, cutting vegetables. Slowly, I walk up to him, tilting my head and peering up at him. He jumps a bit when he turns around, startled by my sudden appearance.

“Hi,” I say with a smile. “Um, you’re Jaemin’s roommate, right?”

“Yeah!” He returns a wide grin. “I’m Jeno.”

“Hi, I’m Y/N.”

He extends his hand out to me, barely gripping my hand – almost as if he’s afraid he’ll break it – and lightly shaking it up and down.

“Jaemin told me you’re a chemistry major?”

“Yeah, how about you?”

“Biology.”

We proceed to ask each other the standard series of questions: Where are you from? What classes are you taking this semester? Are you part of any clubs?

And of course, I always mention my struggles with physics because I’m half hoping he’ll have another suggestion in case I decide I want to jump the Jaemin-ship.

“Oh yeah, I took physics last semester,” he responds. “It was terrible because I hate math so I’m taking a break this semester. You should ask Jaemin for help. He’s much better at it than me.”

Goddammit.

“Yeah, I’ve been asking him for help. He’s been helpful…”

A silence passes between us and when I look up at Jeno again, he has this weird look on his face. The corner of his mouth is upturned and his eyes are – well, they look like they’re undressing me. And then I realize that it’s nearly identical to that mischievous look Jaemin has.

Good Lord, do all three of you have the same look?

Actually, you know what? I don’t want to find out.

“I’ll let you get back to cooking,” I say, abruptly heading towards the door. “It was nice meeting you.”

“What were you doing?” Jia asks when I return to our room towards the end of Saturday night.

“I was doing my physics problem set and studying for the bio midterm next week.”

“Ooh,” she coos suggestively. “Were you with Jaemin?”

“No. He’s going to help me tomorrow because went to a football game tonight.”

Hmm… I bet Jisu was there with him.

There’s a stupid grin on her face when I turn to look at her. “Do you like him?”

“No.”

“Really? You guys look like you get along really well.”

“Yeah, he’s fun to hang out with.”

“But you don’t like him?”

“No.”

“But –”

Thankfully Jia’s laptop starts ringing. Her parents are calling her from Beijing. I excuse myself, grabbing my laptop, phone, and water bottle to sit in the little inlet in the hallway until she gets off her call.

I know she suspects something and her inexperience with boys is what naturally makes her curious. According to her, she’s never had a crush on anyone. Not sure I totally believe that. And she’s not aware of anyone who has ever had a crush on her. Actually, she’s never had any guy friends and had once asked me how you communicate with them, her tone almost implying that they were an alien species. Like I said, she’s been quite sheltered most of her life. So she’s slowly learning things. I only wish I wouldn’t have to be the one she asks to tell her what a blowjob is.

When I left my room, I noticed that Jaemin’s door was cracked open. Actually, it’s always cracked open like that. And normally, it’s quiet, but tonight, I quickly learn, is a much different story.

“My girlfriend fucked up the pizza,” Jaemin says disdainfully.

So she was at the game…

“How do you fuck up pizza?” Jeno asks.

“She got cheddar pizza.”

“Cheddar pizza?”

“It doesn’t taste bad.” I hear the microwave door slam. “But it still tastes kinda weird. She also gave me a bunch of coupons.”

“For what?” Jeno asks.

“This one says ‘fifteen minutes of oral.’”

I nearly spit out my water. The hell?

“Fifteen minutes?!” Jeno responds in disbelief. “Can you even last fifteen minutes?!”

“Shut up!”

“Wait, maybe you can see if it can be fifteen minutes total,” Renjun says. “So if it takes you ten times to get to the fifteen –”

“You fucking –”

The rest of Jaemin’s crude response is muffled due to a loud crash. I imagine he threw something at Renjun given that Renjun and Jeno are uncontrollably laughing and I have to cover my mouth to prevent myself from laughing out loud.

“But yeah,” Jaemin continues. “She gives me these coupons like, ‘You win this fight,’ ‘I won’t get mad when you fall asleep on me,’ ‘I won’t complain when you say you say you want to hang out with your guy friends’ –”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Jeno interrupts. “She won’t complain when you say you want to hang out with your guy friends? Isn’t that sorta… shouldn’t that be a given?”

There’s a look of horror on my face as I process what I’ve just heard. Jisu sounds… let’s just say I would not want to be dating her.

“Exactly! She’s crazy!” Jaemin exclaims. “If I spend more time with her, I get more of these things and they’re kind of useful. But I don’t want to spend more time with her…”

“I didn’t really talk to her at the game, but she didn’t seem like she was enjoying it much,” Jeno says.

I purse my lips and run my tongue along my front teeth, completely stunned and quite frankly, somewhat amused that I happened to be out here at the time they were discussing this.

Wow, Jaemin, that sounds like a really secure relationship. Congratulations. If you hate her so much, why are you even dating – oh – the fifteen minutes…

All of these revelations were a disappointing confirmation. First, Jaemin actually does have a girlfriend. He said the G word himself. Second, Jisu is just as high maintenance as I had been able to analyze from her photos. And third, Jaemin is a liar! Well, actually, he hasn’t lied to me. He’s just conveniently left things out.

The alarm bells in my head have started ringing off the hook. At first, they were just there in the background, an occasional beep to warn of a possible danger. But I think now is safe to say that he’s a flirt – and he’s good at hiding it. That’s what makes him so dangerous.

The next afternoon after meeting with Jaemin, I had scheduled a call with Mark. We finally managed to figure out a time that worked for both of us and I had insisted that it was quite important. I was quite irked as I had actually confirmed that third assumption from last night.

I walk up the stairs shortly before my call time, taking note of Jaemin’s door slightly ajar again. As I near my door, I pause when I hear Renjun’s voice.

“Where’s Jaemin?”

“I think he’s out with –”

Dammit. Did he say Jisu?

“Again?”

“Yeah, he hasn’t been very happy lately,” Jeno responds.

“He should just break up with her,” Renjun says.

I continue onto my room, trying to make my footsteps almost silent to make sure they don’t suspect anyone is listening to them, but I nearly drop my things after hearing Renjun’s next question.

“Do you know anything about Y/N?”

“I talked to her once. She’s nice. I think Jaemin likes her though. She’s pretty attractive.”

“Do you think she knows about –?”

“I don’t know –

Suddenly, I hear someone coming up the stairs and shortly thereafter, one of my neighbors rounds the corner. I make eye contact with her, realizing how weird it is for me to be standing in the middle of the hallway. Quickly, I begin acting like I’m shifting my things into one arm in an attempt to grab my keys.

– Probably not. Jaemin never brings her here.”

“Hey, Y/N!” she greets.

Fuck.

“Hi…”

I turn away quickly, tapping the key fob against my door and run inside.

“No, Mark, I’m serious! He has a girlfriend!”

“How’d you find out?”

I relay to him my story from last week – walking by Jaemin’s room and overhearing Jisu by happenstance, strategizing my method of figuring out who she was, the Facebook discovery, the coupons…

“And he’s been flirting with you like that? And spending three plus hours with you helping you do your homework?” he asks in disbelief. “Yo, Y/N, this guy sounds like trash.”

“He was helping me with physics today and I asked him who he went to the football game with and he said he only went with his roommates. He lied straight through his teeth!”

“I mean, it’s not like he’d actually tell you. He hasn’t told you before.”

“I kept trying to ask him some questions that would easily allow him to say something about it, but he never did.” I purse my lips. “He’s not stupid though. He probably knew I was fishing for information.”

“Wait, wait, wait, I have another question, Y/N. Who gives coupons like that?!”

“Uh… an insecure person?”

Mark lets out a loud sigh. “I mean – I – I can understand giving out coupons for like… a massage or to cook their favorite dinner. You know? Something cute like that. But these are just weird.”

Clicking my tongue, I respond, “Yeah, that was my conclusion. He doesn’t seem to like her very much though. Not sure why he doesn’t just break up with her.”

“Yo, he’s probably scared.”

“I was just hoping that you wouldn’t also confirm that he sounds like trash.”

“Why? Do you like him?”

“No, I’m not interested in dating him. I think he’s fun to hang around and I want to be his friend, but I feel like that’ll be kinda complicated.”

“Do you know what his girlfriend is like?”

“Only from what I’ve seen and overheard. She sounds –” I scrunch my face is displeasure “– high maintenance. She does beauty pageants… and wins.”

“So she’s pretty,” he concludes.

“Yeah, she’s pretty. I don’t really know why he’s interested me if he’s dating this pageant girl.”

“What are you talking about? Y/N, have you looked in a mirror? You’re really pretty,” he says. “And I’m not just saying that because I’m your friend.”

I’m thankful that Mark can’t see my expression since we’re talking on the phone.

“I met his roommate the other day. I don’t – I don’t know how I feel about him. He was looking at me like he was undressing me.”

“See! I told you!”

“But Mark, he’s a college guy. He’s probably interested in sleeping with any girl that’s at least a seven and is okay with ‘no strings attached.’”

Mark is silent for a moment.

“Y/N?”

“What?”

“You know that you just admitted that you’re at least a seven, right?”

“…your point?”

“I’m just saying! Anyway, you know that there’s only one reason why Jaemin wouldn’t tell you he has a girlfriend, right?”

I have a feeling I know what the reason is, but I entertain Mark’s question.

“What’s that?”

“That he’s looking for someone else… someone else meaning you.”

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Before I Met You Masterlist Masterlist

#nct #nct 127 #nct u #nct dream #wayv #jung jaehyun #jaehyun #nct jaehyun #jung yoonoh #nct lucas #lucas wong #wong yukhei #mark lee #nct mark #na jaemin #nct jaemin #before i met you

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amwritingmeta · 6 years ago

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S15 Hopes and Wishes: Cas

Alright, shall we do this, then? Shall we start the speculative portion of summer, then? I mean, this is speculative hopes and wishes, based in what I can see viable for S15, right? It’s not a prediction. It’s not me saying this will happen. It’s me saying, heyyyyyy, look at what they might’ve set up for! And wouldn’t it be cool if...??

Yeah?

Cool beans. (or hot ones) (whichever way you like em)

So.

This thought came into my head last Sunday while I was on a train from Rome to Fiumincino. (highly irrelevantly relevant, but anyway)

Let’s look at where S14 ends and where S15 might pick up when it comes to Cas, yeah? Because, way I see it, Chuck snapping his fingers and that episode being all about how writers lie and how Chuck is the ultimate control freak toxic masculinity bad guy and everything that was pulled on by Dabb in the finale landed in Chuck’s final statement:

Welcome to the end.

Welcome to The End.

See it? Yeah, I know you do, you clever.

The Croatoan virus was basically a zombie virus, right? The croats have the characteristics of zombies. It’s all very fitting then that now, at the actual end, we’re dealing with a zombie apocalypse. I mean, talk about Chuck luxuriating in his own story. Talk about a callback with a twist!

To me, the narrative of 5x03 was itself a lie, spun by Zachariah, built on Dean’s deepest fears, a worst case scenario meant to manipulate Dean into saying yes to Michael.

And in The End, the dynamics had shifted unhealthily. That episode is all about highlighting Dean’s real internal wants and needs by forcing him to face the aforementioned worst case scenario.

I mean, I’d argue it was all inspired by fears that Zachariah tapped into in Dean, but whatever it was - real or constructed - the intention of the episode remains the same, yeah? To expose those fears to us and to wake Dean up to the truth of what a rift between him and Sam actually means for the bigger picture.

In 14x20, we get Chuck saying yeah, my callback isn’t a replica, isn’t a virus spreading, but rather the dead literally waking, and me ripping apart your legacy because it was all a construct and your choices don’t really matter and there’s nothing you can do to stop me (because more doomsday) but it’s still the marrow of Zachariah’s world, and it’s bound to fuck with you guys the way you’re fucking with my story.

That’s the setup.

Now to Cas:

What was Cas’ role in The End?

Well... you know, right? Yeah, I think you do, you clever.

And, listen, my horses are so, so held here, but... in The End, Cas is human.

Cas in The End is bitter at how his journey has ended without him really having a say in how. He didn’t choose to give up his powers - he chose to stay and fight with his human friend’s, but he wasn’t expecting humanity to creep up on him as the lack of angels in Heaven meant that the grace of Heaven simply... depleted. In The End, Cas states that he used to belong to a “much better club”, but we know that Cas now, at the very end, would never say that or feel that way. He’s been disillusioned by Heaven and doesn’t even identify as an angel anymore, but rather as a “thing”.

A thing in between.

And that’s why it would be so fucking amazing if he starts the season human, because Chuck, with that snap of his fingers, will have taken away one of the brother’s more important weapons (Dean this season even said to Jack that they still see Cas as insurance when out on the job) and that’s Chuck’s motivation (one might assume), but for Cas’ individual arc, being pushed out of this state of complacency he’s been in for so much of season fourteen due, in large part, to his deal with the Empty and his canonical fear of happiness, would mean that he’s suddenly put in a place of gaining true perspective.

Perspective on himself, so that he can finally dare to answer the questions Who am I? and Who do I want to be? and answer them honestly, because only when he dares to answer them honestly can he begin to experience true happiness and, once he does experience it, without inhibition, if he’s human he’ll be rewarded for finally learning his lesson, and he’ll be rewarded when the Empty can’t touch him at the moment of real happiness, because the Empty can’t touch him in his true form, because humans don’t belong in the Empty.

It. Would. Be. So. Damn. Beautiful.

*horses held horses held but OMFG but horses held*

Why was Cas being human in The End part of that worst case scenario for Dean? Because of the distance between endverse!Dean and endverse!Cas.

Our Dean lowkey wants Cas to be human, because Dean wants Cas to be with him and it’s a whole lot of complexity that goes into that lowkey wish, but that wish in its simplest form is that: if Cas is human, Dean might have a shot and Cas might choose to stay. And stop dying. :)

In The End, Cas is human and fighting alongside Dean, but not in the way our Dean wants, deep down, though he’s still too scared to admit it (which is why we’re shown it) (so that we can lowkey understand for him). Cas’ embittered view of humanity is also the absolute opposite of what Dean wants for him, and hey, I’d argue that Dean gives Cas a nickname and starts pushing human things on him immediately because Dean, as representative of humanity for Cas, inherently knows what Cas truly wants, even though Cas doesn’t, and Dean consciously doesn’t either.

It’s the core of the subtext of their love story arc: that they bring out the truth of one another’s core traits and highlight what the other’s core need is.

Faith for Dean.

Humanity for Cas.

But that’s really a different post. It’s just all so very pretty and whatever we get I’m sure it’ll be fucking amazing and highly entertaining and that they will build us a worthy ending, because every person involved on this show wants that worthy ending.

I just think that Cas becoming human sooner rather than later, and us getting to follow him truly exploring his humanity and learning how to deal with that flooding of emotion and the cravings and the desires... It would make for fantastic fucking story fodder! *human!Cas addict though*

And also, as a deeply personal wish, I suppose, it would be truly profound (especially since last time he ended his stint as a human specifically to prepare himself for war by swallowing Theo’s grace) to have Cas heading into this final battle as a human, in order to prove to himself that he does not need his powers to be powerful, to be useful, to be every bit the necessary addition to the group that he’s always been.

It would be so mind-blowingly head-explodingly fantastic that there are no damn words for how happy it’d make me. And I’d be happy for his sake.

Aside from that, he deserves to feel accepted into that bunker, just as he is. Just the basic him. Without all those bells and whistles. :) And to understand that he always was. Truly. That he’s not kept around as insurance, because he truly isn’t. But more than that, for him to feel so comfortable in his own skin that he can, finally, accept the truth of this and see the love that the Winchesters have for him.

*yes I know we all want this of course!!*

And with regards for how it should be Cas’ choice to become human, I think it’s just as powerful for him to choose to stay human, if given to choice to have his powers restored.

You know, he kind of needs to be shaken out of the complacency in order to actually understand what’s best for him, because if he doesn’t gain perspective, it’s very difficult for him to truly understand himself, right?

And I’ve always seen the whole Heaven-crumbling-into-dust bit as a very good and big obstacle to Cas choosing humanity for himself, for any reason (like recognising that it’ll nullify his deal with the Empty, for example) because how could Cas ever choose to do anything that will, ultimately, serve to end the world and end it through enormous suffering? As long as his grace is needed to power Heaven, of course he wouldn’t make the choice to give it up.

But if the choice is made for him...

Oh, it would be too amazing to even consider.

But I shall not say that this will happen, that this must happen, that this is clearly what they have set up for, because I don’t know, I can’t know, this is speculative, this is not a prediction of any kind, it’s literally just a great big old wish, fuelled by hope that we get a long human!Cas arc, rather than a too short one.

And, yes, to my mind, if all these men are thresholding the way I feel the season finale set them up for, then Cas becoming human would mean a huge shift in the dynamic between him and Dean and it could do such wonders.

They’re all so ready for a change.

I truly hope they get it as early as the first episode.

*fingers crossed for momentum*

#spn s15 #spn s15 wish list #hopes and wishes #speculation #not prediction #no promises #pinches of salt #cas #human!cas #the end #spn 5x03 #spn 14x20 #chuck #dean winchester #yes I'll write more on sam too #darling sam!#destiel

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melien · 6 years ago

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Update

Hey guys! Guess I'll break the silence and talk about... things. It will be a long post because I just never can make them shorter, but there will be some updates on my life and simblr that I really want to share with everyone.

The beginning of this month for me was truly something. I went on a three-day training with the other summer camp counsellors and then, two days later, there was another four-day sightseeing trip. Bonus: I had a really bad flu and was suffering the entire time. Needless to say, I was exhausted and on Sunday, when I came home, I slept from 5 pm to 9 am next day, and I'd sleep even longer if my mom didn't wake me up (I had a drawing class at 10 so I was really lucky).

But the most important thing is, I feel like I'm finally living an actual life that I could only dream of when I was younger, very insecure, socially awkward and constantly surrounded by wrong people. Now I know that I'm on my way to becoming a person I always wanted to be. All it took is telling all the fears to buzz off and making changes (e.g. joining the local youth center as a volunteer), and here I am now. It didn't happen immediately, but I kept pushing. Compared to myself only one year ago who believed everything is always going to end the same way so why even bother, it's such a massive progress and I'm so proud. In these past few days and by extension months I've had some great times with great people, I felt so comfortable with them. We talked about everything, had inside jokes, exchanged nice words and hugs, took a lot of photos, danced together, sang songs on top of our lungs, played mafia and other games, had walks in the unknown cities, got lost there, had to run like crazy not to miss the bus, sat in the restaurants and laughed a lot. There were plenty of moments when I felt alive and an important part of my community. When you have majorly struggled in the past, you start appreciating these things even more. I hope it doesn't sound like bragging, but I'm just so emotional about all of this because I never had anything quite like it and these experiences are new for me. I've still surely got a way to go when it comes to my personal development, but it's a start and I don’t want to go back to the times when I felt alone and unnecessary. I think the key was just changing my mindset altogether and getting rid of negativity, which is why I started attracting more positive people who think alike, and my little dreams and goals started coming true without me even realising it. For example, deep inside I always wanted to be a camp counsellor, and now I am – it’s the first step towards my big dream to be an English teacher.

Throughout these days, I only looked on simblr very briefly for the reasons mentioned above, but I want to gradually start catching up with the stories and legacies I enjoy, at least a little bit. The trips were awesome, but so physically exhausting. And I still have a lot of stuff to do this week, mainly do work and possibly a few more volunteering projects, so I probably won't be around as often as I want to, but just know that you're all great and I love you.

I'm especially thankful for the comments and love on the recent events in the Twinkle legacy! I'm sooo excited for Cloudberry to be my next heiress because she's pretty damn awesome and I already have a huge crush on her thanks to some photos that I've taken of her as an adult, so it's going to be fun. I also ran a poll on Twitter asking if people wanted to see the Maples or Lilygreens. I have a backlog of both, but due to the poll results I'm going to post the Maples first and I'm dying for the start of my second generation to go live! Now if only I could find motivation to draft.

One more thing that I wanted to mention is that I have a ts2 side blog, @strange-mel. I really missed playing with premades and writing dialogues for them, and currently ts2 is my jam so I'm going to be active on that blog for a long time because I have a massive queue of my Strangetown gameplay going. I'm quite proud of how it's turning out because the gameplay was so enjoyable and there's a lot of hilarious moments. Also, I'm planning on writing a story in ts2 which features some of my favourite Strangetown characters, and I love the concept but it depends on my time and energy. Feel free to follow on there if you want to!

That's all for now, I guess. Oh and also, random but I go away for a few days and see Zayn releasing "A Whole New World" cover (for those who don't know, I'm hopelessly obsessed with this song and Aladdin, and I can't wait to go to the movie theater to see live action). All the best stuff happens when I'm gone, so I won't be surprised if some amazing sims posts have happened in this time period. 😅

Tl;dr: The entire beginning of May for me was travelling and I had a lot of fun with great people, which I have a lot of feelings about since I haven’t experienced anything like this in the past, and I’m really happy with my life at the moment. I may not be on simblr as often these days, but I’ll try my best and the queue will be active. The Twinkles are going on a break and the Maples are next. I also have a ts2 blog where I’m planning to be active and post my gameplay and possibly a story with Strangetown premades. To conclude, I’m looking forward to the live action Aladdin (relevant, I know)

#text post #personal

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gwentoryfics · 6 years ago

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hi! do you have any tips for hyping or getting responses to posts, because i'm getting ready to release a fic into the world and i don't want it to flop :(

one thing that i think is really important when posting a new fic or series is to post a preview a few days before you actually post the full fic/part. you can either preview the opening of the fic to get readers interested in the exposition & give a general idea of what the fic is going to be about, OR you can pick the juiciest part and preview it with absolutely no context. i chose the second option when i was teasing the first part of hot for teacher (see here).

so in my preview excerpt, the reader doesn’t really have a clear idea of where the main character is. you have to kind of guess some of the small details. and then you get to see the very first conversation held between hongseok and the mc (although it’s not even a point in the story where she knows his name, so it’s not explicitly mentioned). if you want to preview a chunk like that, you have to rely on the fic info to share some of that information (at the top of the post, i mentioned that it’s a hongseok x reader x kino fic, so obviously this guy is either hongseok or kino. and in the summary, i mention a “handsome stranger from a wedding” and a “drunken night,” which has all kinds of implied content.) honestly, there’s so much guess work involved in the excerpt that i chose that it’s not even that good of a preview example lol.

basically, think of it as handing out a sample of chocolate outside of your candy store. you want to pick the tastiest chocolate and just give it away in the hopes that the recipient will either immediately stop in or come back sometime soon. so give your readers a little sample.

another thing that’s important is to be super clear about when you’re posting the fic. in your preview, mention at the bottom what day & time you’re going to post the fic. generally, tumblr is most active at night and on weekends. i usually post fic updates around 7pm or 8pm central time on fridays, saturdays, or sundays.

when you post it, be sure to include relevant tags so it’ll show up in searches! examples that i use for hot for teacher: hongseok, hongseok smut, hongseok scenario, hongseok scenarios, hongseok fic, hongseok fics, yang hongseok, kino, hyunggu, kino angst, hyunggu angst, kino scenarios, etc. every variation you can think of is good to use!

i don’t really know how to encourage people to give responses beyond just liking the post. i’m pretty surprised that i ever got asks about my fic, honestly lol. one thing that has been really successful for me, though, is the “ask my muse” game that i just posted a few days ago. if people feel connected to the characters in the fic, they want to know more about them, and an “ask my muse” game is a great opportunity for them to learn more and get inside the characters’ heads.

actually, i do have another tip - engage with other peoples’ blogs! if you go to other blogs you like and start commenting on their posts & sending in asks (off anon), then you’ll become a familiar url to those people, and they’ll be more likely to check out your blog and find your fic. that’s a little marketing 101 i learned at my current job lol. you can’t expect people to blindly reach out to you all the time - it helps if you initiate sometimes! and when you’re interacting, you don’t want to say “check out my blog/fic.” just leave a meaningful comment on their posts, or tell them how much you like the content/aesthetic of their blog. make the interaction about the other person, and they’ll feel appreciated & want to reciprocate.

hopefully that’s at least a little bit helpful! i hope your fic launch goes well. it can be scary/nerve-wracking to wait around for responses, so fingers crossed you’ll get the response you want! 💕

#anonymous peach #gwen answers #writing tips

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bbclesmis · 6 years ago

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The Guardian: Les Misérables' Andrew Davies: 'I haven't added much sex to it. Sorry to disappoint'

Britain’s greatest transformer of literary classics on his BBC One adaptation of Victor Hugo’s masterpiece

We’re just minutes into our interview and already the conversation has turned to brothels and sadomasochism. But perhaps this is not entirely surprising. Sauce is, after all, Andrew Davies’s trademark. As Britain’s greatest transformer of literary classics into raunchy, bodice-busting primetime TV, Davies is the man who added incest to War and Peace, put daddy-issue sex into the backstabbing Westminster drama House of Cards, and reinvented Mr Darcy from Pride and Prejudice as a wet-shirt-clad Colin Firth. None of those things, purists note, appear in the original texts.

Despite all these achievements, the 82-year-old writer never quite managed to smuggle his steamiest offerings into the nation’s living rooms. Take his adaptation of Fanny Hill, the 18th-century “memoirs of a woman of pleasure” that became one of the most prosecuted and banned novels. “This is a pornographic book,” says Davies. “There are lots of whips and sadomasochism – and I did try a couple of more explicit brothel scenes. But one works with a producer and a script editor, and they might say: ‘Um, we don’t think this is quite right for the BBC, Andrew.’ And so OK, it was worth a try.”

Speaking with Davies, who lives in Kenilworth, Warwickshire, is not unlike watching one of his dramas: innuendo and humour keep appearing, to spice up the serious and the considered. Conversation can quickly take on the slight sensation of romp, like when he talks about visiting sets. “I tend not to go much during filming,” he says. “As the writer, you don’t have a job so you’re hanging round like the spare prick at a wedding. I’ll go a couple of times, arrive before lunch, tell the actors they’re brilliant, and then leave shortly after.”

It’s easy to forget his advancing years: Davies has a mischievous laugh and still writes every day. But the biggest difference between now and when he started out comes whenever he goes to an award ceremony. “I’ve got a bad back,” he says, “so I don’t do as much dancing.”

As we speak, he is excited about Les Misérables, his much-heralded adaptation of Victor Hugo’s masterpiece of the 1832 Paris uprising. Three years in the making, and about to headline BBC One’s new year schedule, the series is spread over six hour-long episodes and boasts a principle cast of more than 100 – including Dominic West, Olivia Colman and David Oyelowo. The aim, clearly, is to be every bit as epic as the original 1,400-page novel – and, possibly, to banish memories of Russell Crowe bursting into song in the 2012 Hollywood musical version.

“Our tagline is ‘nobody sings’,” says Davies, who has won five Baftas and two Emmys. “It will be interesting to see how fans of the musical react, because I think they will be surprised by how much of Victor Hugo’s original story never made it into the musical. There’s so much more to it than many people know: about the cat-and-mouse relationship between Javert and Jean Valjean, and about Fantine and her early life – her happiness before the misery. We have explored all that. We’ve done it properly.”

The big question is of course this: how has he sexed it up? There have been rumours that Dominic West’s rear end gets an airing. He laughs. “You know, I do think sex is a huge motivation in a lot of these great 19th-century books but not so much in Les Misérables. I don’t think I’ve put a great deal in that wasn’t there. I’m sorry to disappoint.”

In reality, Davies rarely disappoints. He is a master of his craft. His gift lies in taking complex, sprawling novels and, while retaining the original spirit, boiling them down to something fast and fierce, full of fun and frolics. In his adaptations, nothing is sacred. Classic scenes are hacked away and completely new ones added, while beloved characters get killed off early or just never appear.

In House of Cards – his 1990 take on Michael Dobbs’ novel about Tory party skullduggery – he decided he wasn’t keen on the story’s original ending. His solution? To reverse it entirely and have the bad guy win. Dobbs liked it so much that, in a re-released edition of the book, he did likewise. When Netflix transferred the drama to Washington for a new US version in 2013, it followed suit.

“I think we all have this feeling when we’re reading a book: ‘Oh, I wish they’d written a scene between this character and that character.’ Or: ‘I wish this person wasn’t quite so prominent.’ And for me, it’s a question of being alert to those feelings, then writing them in. I do what I would like to see and hope the audience goes with me.”

Generally, it does. His credits read like a best of British TV and include definitive Dickens adaptations of Bleak House and Little Dorrit (in which the reclusive Miss Wade was transformed into an insatiable lesbian). Then there was Tipping the Velvet, complete with taboo-busting dildo revelry, not to mention Sunday night favourites Mr Selfridge and Doctor Zhivago. Among his fans is none other than Vladimir Putin: the Russian president said 2016’s War and Peace “captured the Russian soul, the epoch and the depth” of Leo Tolstoy’s original. “I’m certainly no fan of Putin,” says Davies. “But I’m happy enough he’s a fan of mine.”

He hopes Les Misérables, which has been made by the same team, will receive similar international acclaim. While writing it, he found himself surprised by its relevance, finding parallels between 19th-century France and the world in 2018. “This huge difference between the haves and have-nots still exists,” he says. “People are taking to the streets in Paris right now, but the inequalities are here in Britain too. And you wonder if anything has been learned. We had a very grand BBC launch in Piccadilly and it was pouring with rain and you had beggars sitting there on the wet pavement with nothing as we tiptoed past them in our best clothes and went in for a champagne reception.” He seems momentarily troubled. “There is a huge irony there. I see it, but I don’t know what can be done.”

Davies is rumoured to be the highest-paid screenwriter in the business but he comes from a background more aligned to the have-nots. Born in Cardiff, the grandson of a miner, his main dream as a young writer, he once said, was to “go to London, get drunk a lot and have loose women”. His first TV play, called Who’s Going to Take Me On?, was broadcast when he was 29, yet it was another 21 years before he became a full-time scriptwriter. In the meantime, he moved to the Midlands with his wife, Diana Huntley, had a couple of children and taught at schools and universities while continuing to write screenplays.

In a way, the teaching was a great apprenticeship. “I spent years trying to bring these classics to life for students,” he says. “In a sense, doing it on screen is just a grander, more expensive way of doing a lecture.” He chose to focus on adaptations, he has said, because his original works were always autobiographical – and this was a problem. “I live a very quiet life. There’s not very much to write plays about.”

His most famous work is perhaps 1995’s Pride and Prejudice, a Jane Austen retelling so filled with life, lust and laughter that it revolutionised costume drama. “We wanted to show that these were young people with all the same passions that we have,” he says. “They weren’t just bonnets.”

He is currently working on a new Austen adaptation. Sanditon, which will begin filming in spring, is a reworking of her great unfinished work about the transformation of a fishing village into a seaside town. ITV has described it as “lavish”. “She only wrote 100 pages or so,” he says, “which I’d used up midway through the first episode. So the rest I’ve had to make up. It’s been a blast.”

Yet there have been critics of the project. Some have asked if it is still appropriate for a man to transform the work of a woman. The word “appropriation” has been used. “To adapt a novel,” he says, “whether it’s by a man or a woman, it doesn’t matter what sex you are. You just have to know a lot about novels and a lot about adapting – which I do. You know, Sarah Waters didn’t have any problem with me doing Tipping the Velvet, which is not only by a woman but about lesbians. And I’m not one of those either. Will people say you have to be a murderer to write a convincing killer? It’s barmy.”

Sanditon is not the only thing he’s working on. He may be in his 80s but Davies hopes this decade will be his most productive yet. Another project is his upcoming version of A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth’s majestic novel set in post-colonial India. It will be the BBC’s first drama featuring an entirely non-white cast.

Another is a series based on John Updike’s Rabbit novels, which may be Davies’s first work made for a streaming service. “It’s early days but that might be on the cards,” he says, mentioning both Netflix and Amazon as potential platforms. “It would be a thrill.” And neither, I suggest, is averse to turning up the phwoar factor. “I know,” he says and gives that mischievous laugh one last time.

• Les Misérables starts on BBC One on Sunday. (x)

#les mis bbc #bbc les mis #Andrew Davies #Interviews

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booksbookandmorebooks · 6 years ago

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My personal reading journey

Hello my lovelies, so I'm back today with some a little different. I've recently seen quite a few of my fellow bloggers take part in this and I thought it was such an interesting way to share something personal with the bookish community. So today I am going to be Sharing with you my personal book/reading journey and I implore you to do the same, this was so weirdly therapeutic and was actually really enjoyable looking back at all the books I've previously read.

So we will start right back at the beginning from when I was at school. I used to read any and everything, I remember being read the borrowers as a titch by my mom at bedtime along with this old beautiful book of fairytales that I still have to this day. I remember one story in particular I adored. It was called the 12 dancing princesses and I remember hanging over my bed watching my mom read to me and showing me these pastel sketches inside the book that I just adored. They were just the prettiest thing jd ever seen. I genuinely do believe that if you are read to growing up your thirst for books will grow with you through to adult hood. But as I grew up and began independently reading, my tastes started to change a little. Another few books I remember vividly were "can't you sleep little bear" and "each peach pear plum." If you have ever read these I guarantee they still hold a special place in your heart as they do mine. I spent many hours reading these over the years and still look back at them with such an overwhelming love.

I stayed with my reading throughout primary school as most children do mainly because of the encouragement and support of the school, reading hour was my favourite lesson. I would get so into a book before dinner break I would stay in the class through it and just read as much as I could, this was a very common occurrence for me, gosh. Such good memories. I read all the normal books you expect a child to read, from Dr.Seuss to Roald Dhal all the way up to the princess diaries. Oh yes, they were books first! Meg calbot was my hero as a young girl. Although I did love reading I never really had a taste for extreme fantasy until I hit my late teens. I remember being primary school around the time that Harry Potter was massive among my peers. Me having never read them I decided why not give it a try, but instead of going back to the first book and starting the series I just begged my mom and dad to get me the current one, the one everyone in my class was reading. Book bloody four! I mean really, it was just a ploy to fit in and look cool haha. Don't lie and say you never did that as a child because If you do, you're a liar. And that was the start and end to my interest in fantasy. I got a few chapters in and just DNF'd and it lived in my shelf collecting dust for years! I just could never understand the hype. Now as an adult I understand it's because my dumb ass never read the first three books in the seires, so no wonder I was confused and left disappointed.

I also have very fond memories of my local library, it was the greatest place on earth to me growing up. Every Sunday I would beg my mom to take me McGrath so I could peruse the newest books, I fondly remember these weird bean bag chairs in the children's area that I frequent so often but was still always so disgusted by how warm the left over butt print was. Did it stop me from spending hours trying to re-write the previous print with mine? No, no it did not.

These trips I genuinely believe were the reason I ended up developing such a strong love for graphic novels, it was an ordinary run of the mill Sunday, and I came across this weird animated story and I to this day have no idea why it struck me so much, I think the cover art was just something I was not used to seeing. And I started reading the first few pages and was instantly hooked, the title I can't remember (and not through lack of trying, believe me) but the story was about a Korean boy I believe, who discovers he is actually attracted to the male gender, and with an unforgiving and accepting father he begins a relationship with a boy he goes to school with. As you could guess his secret is unveiled and his parents decide to send him to a boarding school and the last page I remember as if I read it yesterday, it's a large all in one shot style frame of the Korean boy being told he has been sent to an all boys school by his unsuspecting parents and we see a huge smirk on his face, sees a cute boy in the background and winks at the audience. Now that novel has always held a special place in my heart because it lead me to some other amazing animated novels that I otherwise would of just ignored. It was just something so new and refreshing to me I just adored it and because it was so new to me and my family who are a family of big readers had never read this type of thing it almost felt like a secret, something that was just mine. I must of rented it 10 times or more from the library.

Sadly though when I began secondary school my reading took a back burner and I just stopped. Wether it was the angst I had developed or the 'too cool to read' ego/image I had adopted and developed, I'm not sure. But sadly I just lost all interest and I didn't pick up a book voluntarily up until I met my boyfriend. Which is one of many things I adore about him. He gave me back my safe place, my escape and my love of exploring strange and wonderful new worlds. It really was one of the best gifts I could of ever been given and I'll always be so grateful. I had forgotten how much of a safety blanket reading was to me growing up and it was like being welcomed home as corny as that sounds. It happened randomly one day, I'd recently watched the movie me before you and after talking about this movie he suggested picking up the book and I thought "yeah, why not! Let's give it ago" (he was also a big reader which really help and encourage me) And that summer we spent hours sitting outside In the garden reading and chatting about our books, and that is one of my most cherished memories. And the rest is pretty obvious, ever since then reading has become such a massive part of my life and now you know my story.

I hope you could find something In this post you could relate to and I hope you have fun rediscovering your own reading story. Have a fab day guys and thanks for reading!

As promised, the orignial source:

cynthiadawn.net

55 Quirky questions for readers.

quick disclaimer though, some questions have been rephrased or missed out, especially ones that i didnt feel were relevant to me or ones i didnt want to include.

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