#but I have no idea what else to call a collection of related and transformative works by SO many different creators

[allalrightagain]

Went looking for an extremely specific character name for a Wicked fic I'm writing and far be it from me to say there's such a thing as too much whimsy in a political commentary (or vice versa) but boy does this franchise have both in spades.

[xenosagaepisodeone]

been thinking about how collecting things acts as a form of play recently. obviously, certain hobbies like rock collecting involve aspects of what we would conventionally think of as 'play' (searching, digging, dusting and examining, etc), and the process of displaying something is often too, play (though we generally call it decorating). collecting anime figures or vintage action figures in particular often invokes a kind of play-pretend that isn't acknowledged due to the commercial elements of these hobbies, despite this play also underlying more conventional forms of collecting. Let's put garage kits, gunpla, figmas, and anything else that would give figure collecting overlap with productive kinds of playing out of mind of a moment. You go to amiami and buy a 1/6 scale hatsune miku figure for $120. Shipping is anywhere from $10-30 depending on where you're getting it from(pricey!). You have the intention to sit this figure on your desk and little else. No fancy photoshoots or anything(at best maybe a few photos to share), just You and Your Toy.

at the core what you're buying is just emotional proximity to the things or characters in media you like (<- deeply obvious and boring sentence, but please keep reading). a child will play with toys as a way of exploring both fantastical ideas and the world around them in a way that is safe. with collectible figurines, those ideas and fantasies are self-contained in the toy itself, the predictability and familiarity acting as another form of safety. the satisfying comfort of 'playing' occurs when you look at the figure and feel like its meaning is self-evident. the act of 'play' becomes the bond you have developed to the object. the object is real. you can define yourself in relation to it- but more importantly, the ownership over this object affords you the ability to define the object in a way that would be somewhat less warranted as a mere spectator of a book or tv series. miku isn't just a figure, she is your idol, or your daughter, or a weird pet. this bond you have dictated has made her more real, and your self-concepts by extension. but this is all playing at the end of the day because she is a toy. a rock collector takes pride in their collection in part because of their love for rocks, but also because it reflects their mastery over understanding the world of rocks. it becomes testament to the relationship with their special subject. they are transformed by the physical presence of the rock. anime figure collecting is quite similar.

hoarding is kind of interesting with re: collecting because to me it's the process of play being stilted. there is desire but not so much intimacy between the person and their object. i often get the impression that hoarders desire to play with their objects, but are inhibited from being able to engage in that kind of vulnerability, instead turning the act of acquisition into a kind of less enriching pseudo-play. after all, hoarding can be a response to periods of traumatic deprivation. the hoarder who accumulates tons of stuff receives some of the comfort and safety of play via the guarantee of a new item added to their collection. they aren't sure how to treasure their objects beyond ensure that they are not thrown away. they cannot 'play' with them, and have their relationship defined largely by the emotions created by the absence of play. by being unable to engage with play and thus failing to acquire the fulfillment or enrichment of play, they end up snagged in what usually ends up being a frustrating cycle.

[earthxangell]

☆ﾐ what are you manifesting in february || pick-a-card reading (timeless)

Hello my beautiful star souls and welcome to my new Pick-A-Card reading. I'm coming back with my weekly messages for the collective, fully recharged and passionate about delivering guidance from the Spirit and any entity that wants to come through. I hope you're doing well and sincerely smile from the bottom of your heart full of joy, happiness and love.

Take a few deep breaths and let your intuition guide you towards a certain pile. Choose a picture and read your interpetation down below.

Only for entertainment purposes. Take what resonates and leave everything else behind.

,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ Pile 1

Some sort of a big opportunity coming to you. You've been praying for this one because it directs towards your soul's passion and desire. Especially if you've been meaning to start some sort of a creative business or just simply allow yourself to be bold and move towards that passion despite the fear and negative thoughts of losing this game. There's a message here to strongly communicate what it is that you truly want for yourself. For some, I feel like an important conversation with parents is about to happen. You've been planning it, for some reason feeling uncertain if they'll get you but Spirit is encouraging you to do that. The conversation will go well. For some, I feel like they hide their passion from friends/family because they don't want to be misunderstood or laughed at. You won't be. You're never alone and the month of February will prove you that. You deserve to live this life according to your desires, wants and needs and be supported and loved for that. If you want to paint, paint; if you want to sing and produce your own music - do that. No matter how bad or simply disgusting it will seem to you. This talent of yours is a gift from ancestors. Don't be afraid to show your progress with the loved ones - they'll love it, that's for sure. Even if you're just a beginner or only about to start it - please, if you feel called to talk and share this goal of yours with someone, do that. I see you receiving support and financial opportunities (your parent giving your money to start this bussiness or a friend gifting you some tools if you've been wanting to start crochet and etc). Communication this month will lead to a lots of opportunities. No wonders, it's Aquarius season! It's about emracing yourself and your nature, being surrounded with mind-like people. Another main blessing for you is that you'll move through this month in the state of 'flow', intuitively knowing what to do and smoothly going with your progress. You will finally stop biting yourself for any mistakes or setbacks and you will just enjoy the process by embracing the challenges with inner peace and fulfillment. Energy of this pile feels like floating on a water surface - just this simple but rich feeling of letting go of any resistance and just being, living, cocreating with the Universe. Good for you!

,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ Pile 2

My sweethearts! I will bite if you won't love yourself this month enough! I'm seeing so much confidence and determination for you in February. For some it may be a career advancement, for others - excellent grades and success in the choosen field (especially with anything that is somehow relates to fashion, self-care and beauty products). My card literally says 'A very happy ending!' The main message for you is to let go. Just let go of the past situations that made you, for some reason, believe that you're not good enough and get these grades, get this promotion, take that leap of faith and for once, just really believe in yourself. You have no idea how beautiful and capable you are. The next month is bringing you this inner transformation that you've been needed in order to move on, to really grip on that self-control and take important steps towards your goal. If you felt exhausted and tired all the time in January, I'm seeing change here as well. Any setbacks, delays or that constant worry that you feel nonstop is based on your lack of self-confidence and belief in yourself and your capability. Get out of your head, journal more. You'll feel more confident and motivated, you'll receive lots of recognition and praise from others not only for your looks but also for your hard work and growth. It'll get better, I promise you. Just hang in there, angel.

,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ Pile 3

You're on receiving end this month. I'm seeing an opportunity to travel, recharge and come back even stronger than before. This is especially significant, if you're 'the mother figure" in your friends group or just literally a mother of a child. You can be extreme with how much you give to others but it didn't fade away unnoticed from your spiritual team and the Universe. They are sending you times where you can just sigh with relief, take some time for yourself and make new plans. You've been working hard for something, you've done the work and now you can let yourself rest and recieve these professional and financial blessings. If you wanted more time for yourself to practice spirituality in any form, I'm seeing the opporunities to do that will happen as well. You're quite intuitive and your skills will be developed and highlighted even more in February. More time with family and friends and your loved ones. Receiving a love confession. Opportunities to lead in the choosen field. Winning a competition. Receiving a scholarship. Moving to a different country because of the study. Focus on yourself and your inner battery. Successful relocation. Seeing beauty in everything around you. Bright times ahead. Your prayers are being answered.

[shizucheese]

So full disclosure, I actually listened to episode 7 on Saturday, but this episode had so damn much to it and I got a bit side tracked by a theory that I'm still working on but I really want to get this out before episode 8 comes out.

As usual, if you want to see the continuously updated and reblogged version of my red string board, you can find it here.

Today is Tuesday, 2/27/24. Episode 7 came out 5 days ago on 2/22/24.

“Talkers”

Norris (Voice: Martin?/ Alex)

Episode 1: “Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email]”. The Stranger? The End? The Dark? The Lonely? The Flesh? Arthur (Nolan?).

Episode 3: "Infection (full body" -/- Arboreal [Journal entry]". The Spiral? (Paranoia? Auditory, visual and olfactory hallucinations) The Lonely? The Corruption. The Flesh? (Callbacks to the Flesh Garden from S5)

Common Themes: Hearing the voice of a dead/ missing loved one?

Chester (Voice: John?/ Jonny)

Episode 1: “Transformation (eyes) -/- Tresspass [chat log]”. Magnus Institute, The Eye. (Involves a forum; the Web?).

Episode 5: "Disappearance (undetermined) -/- Invitation [Internet blog]". The Eye (Movies. Movie name: "Voyeur" "Must be seen to be believed"...). The Web? (Another website?). (Very reminiscent of Mag 110: Creature Feature.) The "poor old guy" at the theater is totally an Eye avatar, right? Kinda gives me "Simon Fairchild when he was first introduced" vibes.

Episode 7: "Agglomeration (miscellany) -/- congregation [email]". The Stranger. The Burried. The Desolation. Possibly all of them if my theory about the items the Volunteers brought in is correct...

Unsure if this is Eye related like the other statements were. This is also the first "Chester" statement where the source material wasn't from a website or blog, which don't have the same expectation of privacy that the sources of the other statements do. Email, though, so still internet related, and this seems to be an open letter rather than personal correspondence, so it still might align with the theme.

Agustus: (rare?)

Episode 4: “Collection (blood) -/- musical [letter]” The End. The Lonely? The Slaughter.

Letter writer thinks passing on his violin might allow a part of himself to live on in his nephew. Very Jonah Magnus of him.

Music teacher hears “faraway music”, then goes crazy and throws himself out of the carriage and dies. Reminiscent of Mag7 and the Piper? The merchant’s wares include dice (Mag 29?). Got the violin from him (took his blood?). Effect of the violin reminiscent to Grifter’s Bone (Mag 42).

(Oliver Bardwell lol very funny guys)

Non-Talkers (?)

Episode 2: "Transformation (full) -/- dysmorphic [video call]". The Spiral? The Flesh. The Stranger. Ink 5oul (avatar/ entity?)

Episode 6: "Injury (needles) -/- intimidation [999 call] "Corruption? The Spiral? The Flesh? The End?

"Needles" reminds me of Michael!Distortion.

Notes and Thoughts:

"It's not like we're dealing with Tape Recorders..." I'm side eying you real hard, Celia. And what's with all of the questions? The "looking for patterns" question is 100% fair but those examples are AWEFULLY SPECIFIC. I wasn't entirely sure I bought the idea that Celia was the same Celia from TMA, but no this is totally her for sure. "DO YOU KNOW WHO JOHN" IS EXCUSE ME? WHAT REAL STUFF?

HILLTOP CENTER BRANCH?!!! 0 managerial or other support from HR; very reminiscent of the weird circumstances surrounding the house on Hilltop Road. Bear skin rug very reminiscent of the Gorilla Skin in TMA S3. The Volunteers remind me of the medical students from Mag34. The email is about events from 2015. This was the same year Gertrude died and John became the Head Archivist in TMA. Why am I not seeing anyone else talk about this?

I have a theory that I was originally going to put in this post but detangling that giant ball of red string entirely is taking too long so I'm just going to put the TL'DR here and maybe make a proper list later if I can ever finish pulling the string on that particular red sweater. Between the items the Volunteers bring in, and the events of the incident itself, what if every single Entity is represented? The gunshots that were heard were the Slaughter. The fire was the Desolation. The person who wrote the email being crushed by all of the items was the Buried. There are a number of artifacts that get listed off that could represent at least one if not multiple Entities (which might be their purpose; considering how many times the fact that the categorization was imperfect got brought up in TMA, it's probably more helpful to view them as a spectrum more than anything else), including some that are very reminiscent of things from specific TMA statements (The bear skin rug -> The Gorilla skin, Old medical equipment -> the syringe in mag 45? The telescope -> Maxwell Rayner was originally Edmond Halley, the Astronomer, etc. etc). So...okay, hear me out: what if this was all part of a ritual, and that's what the "good cause" was? A ritual that involved all of the fears being represented? Sound familiar? Except instead of it being a ritual to start an apocalypse or reshape the world in the image of one or more of the fears, what if it was a ritual to summon something that was associated with all of the fears? Or, rather, what if it was a ritual to summon someone who had been touched by all of the fears? And that's also why so many of the items seem to be analogous to things from statements and events from TMA? Like....maybe I'm wrong entirely. Or maybe I'm right about this being about summoning someone, or something, (maybe someone from TMA? Maybe Celia?), but wrong about it being John who was being summoned. But, again, this incident took place in 2015, which was the same year Gertrude died and John became head Archivist, and I feel like this means something.

[venusianpulp]

Hot Take: Human Design

Activated Gates of Authority: 19-49

I feel like it's exponentially hard to find a descriptive analysis on anything related to human design... or at least descriptive enough to satiate my curiosity - so I figured, I cannot be the only one with this problem.

After exxxxxxxtensive research (sorry for delayed inbox responses) I have started to create some content for anyone else curious.

Eventually, I would like to dive into how to use your natal chart with your human design graph to get an entirely, well rounded understanding & innerstanding of who you are, your why's, how's, and so on. They're both connected.

FULL DISCLOSURE - I will be going in an absolutely, nonsensical, and incoherent order. I may start with my own but there is a lot of content I've created to share and I plan on doing it one at a time. Anything in red will be explained in a later post as I continue this content, so don't worry if you aren't entirely versed yet. i hope you ENJOY!

Channel 19-49 is called "The Principle of Revolution". This channel features 2 gates, 19 & 49. The combination of gates creates the channel. 19 is the gate of "wanting", while 49 is the gate of "revolution". It is part of the 39-55/19-49 Definition quadra and is connected to responding, reacting, and taking action.

The channels make up the pathways through which energy flows in your body and impact your personality, talents, and decision-making authority.

If you have or know someone who has an activated 19-49 channel...

As one of your authority channels, 19-49 has a major influence on how you operate and make decisions. This motor channel brings an energetic, active, even rambunctious quality. You likely have a strong inner drive to initiate change, shake things up, rebel against the status quo, and introduce new, experimental, or unorthodox ideas or ways of doing things. You challenge assumptions and may be attracted to fringe topics or revolutionary causes.

People with 19-49 are here to be agents of change and transformation. You have an evolutionary impulse to push boundaries, take risks, and upset established orders. When activated positively, this can catalyze innovation, reforms, breakthroughs, and social or political shifts. Used negatively, it can lead to chaotic, reckless, or even dangerous behavior. Understanding how to harness 19-49 is key.

As an authority, you need to wait for this wave-like energy to come and go rather than constantly riding it. By waiting to respond when 19-49 is "on", you make decisions true to your inner motivations. If you react when it's "off", you may regret choices. Learning this ebb and flow helps moderate extremes.

Channels impact each other, so 19-49 is flavored by your other authorities. But in general, having this motor defined means a dynamic push towards trail-blazing change, often through rebellious action. By understanding the wise and unwise ways this channel manifests and using strategies like waiting, deconditioning, and experimenting slowly, you can utilize 19-49 for positive transformation.

This rebellious energy can attune you to future trends before they become mainstream.

Having 19-49 activated suggests intuitive abilities related to sensing the zeitgeist, reading cultural and sociopolitical undercurrents, and prophesying what revolutionary shifts may be on the horizon. You can be quite skilled at predicting new movements, styles, or paradigms that shake up the status quo.

As a transformer energy, 19-49 may give you the innate capacity to scan both collective thoughtforms and the horizons of what’s possible, almost like an inner radar system attuned to anything progressive, trailblazing, unconventional or on the cutting edge. You can often spot burgeoning worldviews and innovations poised to disrupt accepted norms well before the crowd catches on.

With 19 defined especially, you likely have your finger on the pulse of what people deep down feel dissatisfied with or secretly want to see changed but don't openly talk about due to social programming or consensus trance. Tapping this can make you gifted at giving voice to issues or ideas that have been suppressed or taboo.

As a motor channel connected to informational waves, 19-49 can also download revelatory insights, visions of alternative possibilities or even mystical experiences - especially during periods of change, chaos or social unrest. The revolutionary insight that dawns may hold psychic clues for navigating eras of deep transition.

Having this energy defined can make you powerfully allergic to the status quo. It’s like you have built-in radar for internal or external shifts happening under the surface that signal change is afoot. By reading the signs, listening deep below consensus, and trusting your non-ordinary hunches, you unlock 19-49’s psychic potential to be a prophet of necessary transformation.

Tips for people with this channel:

Here are some tips for how to tap into the ebbs and flows of an activated 19-49 channel in Human Design, to discern if it is activated positively or negatively:

Track your emotional waves. When 19-49 is "on", you will likely feel energized, fired up for change, filled with avant-garde ideas. When it's "off", the revolutionary fever cools into mellowness or even apathy. Noticing these dramatic emotional shifts is key.

Pay attention to synchronicities and omens. The mystic Rainer Maria Rilke spoke of "confirmatory experiences" that validate when you're aligned with your authentic path. Notice what signs, symbols, messages arise when 19-49 is activated. Are they encouraging your radical side constructively?

Check your mental state. Is your mind speculative, imaginative, innovative when 19-49 is on - or scattered, conspiratorial, paranoid? The latter could indicate the channel is distorted. Stay grounded.

Assess your behavior objectively. Is your rebellion or rabble-rousing inspire progressive change or just petty chaos? Are you breaking conventions with purpose or just for shock value? Check your intentions.

Notice physical sensations. Do you feel buzzing inspiration or nervous agitation? Vitality or imbalance? Attune to your body's signals to read 19-49 clearly.

Consider gradual steps. Experiment cautiously when 19-49 is on so you don't risk burnout from overstimulation. Baby steps avoid big regrets!

With awareness and discernment, you can learn to ride the 19-49 wave skillfully, using its psychic gifts for radical yet enlightened change. Analyze the quality rather than quantity to know if you’re dialed in.

[dailyanarchistposts]

Introduction

There are no new ideas. There are only new ways of making them felt.

—Audre Lorde[1]

People who talk about revolution and class struggle without referring explicitly to everyday life, without understanding what is subversive about love and what is positive in the refusal of constraints—such people have a corpse in their mouth.

—Raoul Vaneigem[2]

Do not think that one has to be sad in order to be a militant, even though the thing one is fighting is abominable.

—Michel Foucault[3]

I

This book is an attempt to amplify some quiet conversations that have been happening for a long time, about the connections between resisting and thriving, about how we relate to each other in radical movements today, and about some of the barriers to collective transformation.

There is something that circulates in many radical movements and spaces, draining away their transformative potential. Anyone who has frequented these spaces has felt it. Many (including us) have actively participated in it, spread it, and been hurt by it. It nurtures rigidity, mistrust, and anxiety precisely where we are supposed to feel most alive. It compels us to search ourselves and others ruthlessly for flaws and inconsistencies. It crushes experimentation and curiosity. It is hostile to difference, complexity, and nuance. Or it is the most complex, the most nuanced, and everyone else is simplistic and stupid. Radicalism becomes an ideal and everyone becomes deficient in comparison.

The anxious posturing, the vigilant search for mistakes and limitations, the hostility that crushes a hesitant new idea, the way that critique becomes a reflex, the sense that things are urgent yet pointless, the circulation of the latest article tearing apart bad habits and behaviors, the way shaming others becomes comfortable, the ceaseless generation of necessities and duties, the sense of feeling guilty about one’s own fear and loneliness, the clash of political views that requires a winner and a loser, the performance of anti-oppressive language, the way that some stare at the floor or look at the door. We know these tendencies, intimately. We have seen them circulating, and felt them pass through us.

When we began talking with friends about this, there were immediate head nods, and sometimes excited eruptions—“YES! Finally someone is going to talk about this publicly!” No one knew exactly what it was or where it came from, but many knew exactly what we were talking about. Like us, they had felt it and participated in it. They had discussed it quietly and carefully with people they trusted. But it was hard to unpack, for a whole bunch of reasons. To complain or criticize it came with the risk of being attacked, shamed, or cast out. This phenomenon is difficult to talk about because it presents itself as the most radical, the most anti-oppressive, the most militant. It shape-shifts and multiplies itself: sometimes it appears as one rigid line, at other times as a proliferation of positions, arrayed against each other. How is it that explicitly radical, anti-oppressive, or anti-authoritarian spaces—the places where people should feel most alive and powerful—can sometimes feel cold, stifling, and rigid? What contributes to a climate in which one is never radical enough, where we have to continually prove our radicalness to others? What makes insecurity, distrust, anxiety, guilt, and shame so pervasive? Where does all this come from? What is this thing? Is it one thing, or many? What activates it, stokes it, and how can it be warded off?

We are not the first to try to get ahold of this phenomenon. It has gone by many names—sad militancy, grumpywarriorcool, manarchism, puritanism—each of which emphasizes different elements and sources. In this book, we call it rigid radicalism. Our research and experience lead us to think that its origins are as diverse as the phenomenon itself. Some say rigid radicalism comes from the way heteropatriarchy poisons intimacy with trauma and violence, while separating politics from everyday life. Others point to origins in the narcissistic and guilt-ridden individualism nurtured by whiteness. Or it is the way schooling replaces creativity and curiosity with conformity and evaluation. Or the humiliation of a life organized by capitalism, in which we are all pitted in petty competitions with each other. Or the way cynicism evolves from attempts to avoid pain and failure. Or it is identity politics fused with neoliberalism. And the terror and anxiety of a world in crisis. And the weakening of movements and a decline in militancy. Or it is the existence of radical milieus as such. And the deep insecurity nurtured by social media and its injunction to public performance. Or it is morality, or ideology, or the Left, or the Maoists, or the nihilists, or the moralists, or the ghost of Lenin. Probably there is some truth to all of these: it is definitely a tangled web.

It is important to say, from the outset, that we do not think the problem is simply anger, conflict, or difference. Whenever people name and challenge oppression and violence, there are almost always reactionaries telling them they are doing it wrong, that they need to be polite, nice, reasonable, peaceful, or patient. We want nothing to do with attempts to regulate resistance.

For this reason, we do not believe rigid radicalism can be countered by inventing a new set of norms for how to behave, or setting out a new ideal of what radicalism should be. There can be no instructions. This would just create a new ideal to measure ourselves against. It would just add to a long list of shoulds, dos, and don’ts that reactivates the problem. We hope to help undo tendencies towards regulation and policing, rather than playing into them.

Maybe we are stoking rigid radicalism right now, in writing about it. Searching out its roots and inner workings can recreate a stifling atmosphere where we feel like we are stuck, always lacking, always messing up, with no escape. Pointing to shame, rigidity, guilt, competition, or anxiety does not make them go away, and might make things worse. It is not a question of revealing the fact that we don’t treat each other well sometimes, or that movements can turn in on themselves; we know this already. These tendencies are a public secret: widely known, but difficult to talk about.[4] Tracing origins might not tell us much about what to do here and now. It is not about a few bad apples, or a few bad behaviors. For us at least, it cannot be reduced to those people over there, because we feel it arise in ourselves as well. There is no way to purify our movements of these tendencies, because the desire for purity is part of the problem.

So our project is not about being against rigid radicalism. We have become convinced that rigid radicalism cannot be countered by critique alone. Our critique and interrogation are a way of asking: how can we be otherwise? What makes it possible to activate something different? How to protect the something different once it gains traction? How to share experiences of places and spaces where something different is already taking place—where people feel more alive and capable?

The first step, for us, has been to affirm that we are already otherwise: we all have parts of ourselves that are drawn towards other ways of being. Everyone has glimmers, at least, of the ways that fierceness can be intertwined with kindness, and curiosity with transformation. Every space is a complex ecology of different tendencies. Rigid radicalism is always only one tendency among others. There are—and always have been—many places and spaces where alternatives are in full bloom. Beyond merely diagnosing or combating rigid radicalism, we seek to affirm the multiplicity of ways that spaces can be otherwise.

[karniss-bg3]

Hello! I've read all your stories about Kar'niss and liked them much. I've also dug recently into drider's lore and learned that driders can cast spells, but didn't understand whether all driders are able to do this, or not. How do you think, can Kar'niss cast any spell or not? And what would happen if he met other drider? Thank you in advance :)

Hiya! I'm glad you've enjoyed the writing.

According to the lore I've found, all driders can innately cast certain spells.

All driders could inherently cast clairaudience /clairvoyance, dancing lights, darkness, detect good, detect law, detect magic, dispel magic, faerie fire, levitate, and suggestion once per day. Dhairn once noted that these abilities were essentially the same as those owned by powerful blessed drow and used this fact to dupe driders into supporting his cause by calling them blessed creatures of Lolth by pointing this out.

Out of that list, the idea of any drider using levitate is a new fear I didn't know I had. Enjoy that bit of nightmare fuel, you're welcome.

Drider also carry over any spells and abilities they had pre-transformation. So if a drow was a wizard, they'd maintain their wizard spells once changed. While I don't know Kar'niss' full ability list, everyone who has fought him knows his default go-to spell; Sanctuary.

This spell has intrigued me a bit. Even though the information claims that drider can cast like clerics, wizards and sorcerers, it specifically goes into the cleric domains driders can cast from. I've checked all four; Chaos, Destruction, Evil and Trickery and none of them list Sanctuary as a spell drider can choose from.

This leaves one option, Paladin. I had an ask sometime ago where someone spoke of their ideal class for Kar'niss being Paladin. The more I thought about it the more I was like "Yeah, actually." There are other classes that can use the Sanctuary spell but they aren't included in BG3 as options, so I'll assume they don't exist in this realm. But it gets even weirder! The two oaths that can cast this spell specifically are oath of devotion and oath of redemption. In BG3 oath of redemption isn't available as a subclass but there is a fair amount of comparisons to be made. Truth is, either of them have cross-over characteristics that fall in line with Kar'niss' devout way of life. It's far too much information to pack into one post but I'll leave the links here to read over and compare at your leisure.

Paladin - Oath of Devotion

Paladin - Oath of Redemption

As for your second question, driders are known to be solitary creatures. However, they have also been reported to pair and live with a few driders and a collection of giant spiders. So Kar'niss could reasonably get along with other drider if the circumstances are right. If they are still Lolth-sworn he's more likely to be aggressive toward them and may even seek to destroy them. I think he might like having other drider around if only so he doesn't feel like the odd spider out, or just to have someone else to relate to. Thing is, I think his focus on the Absolute is so strong he likely cares for little else. Only Her approval matters, only Her attention matters, everyone else is a side character in his heroes journey.

Thanks for the ask!

[grawlix-ness]

The Big Sleet and Dingo Headcanon Post V2!

Bear in mind this is largely a collection of subconscious Notes app ramblings I’ve patched together so I may have made a few grammatical boo-boos or repeated myself here and there. It’s almost 4AM, I’m sure I’ve missed things. I’ll continue to add and edit this post should more ideas come to mind. Questions encouraged!

Cw: light implications of child neglect, mentions of drinking and mutant body horror

🔫 Sleet 🔪

Sleet was raised in the gutter. He knows a fair bit more than the average Lower Mobotropolis street urchin because his mom was an aristocrat until she was slandered by her peers and booted from high society. She taught him the essentials, and he learned everything else from scavenging library books. Presently, his education has all but fallen through the cracks. He tries to avoid reading most of the time. What will Dingo think if he learns he’s not the uber-genius he makes himself out to be? Why does he care what Dingo thinks? When such thoughts arise, they are pushed away and buried.

He has cybernetic implants to aid with frequent aches and muscle strain. In the winter, he struggles due to a lower cold threshold, the result of a fur and skin condition. Dingo knits sweaters for him. They’re oversized and kind of a mess. On particularly glacial nights, Sleet isn't averse to sharing warmth, willing to cuddle up and be the little spoon, so long as Dingo promises not to tell anyone. 

He had no friends growing up and was often picked on. His ailments and interest in science made him an easy target. Some of his peers disliked him on the very principle of him having an ex-aristocrat mother. This made him prickly and distant. While others played kickball or tag, he was tinkering with junkyard machinery or eavesdropping around spacer hangouts, dreaming of someday getting off planet and flying to a world that’d understand him. 

He’s quite good with a needle and thread and tailors his and Dingo’s ball outfits himself. Sleet gets his sewing skills from his mother. She was the personal outfitter and trusted right hand of an important noblewoman. As a pup, he adored listening to his mother’s stories of galas and masquerades. During such fleeting moments of peace, she’d also make costumes for him. He still heavily enjoys fashion, having a closet dedicated to fancy capes. 

Sometime in his tumultuous childhood, Sleet discovered there was an Honor Guard. He admired their outfits and swordsmanship. Most of all he wanted to join so he and his mother could live in the warmth and safety of a castle. He even fashioned a costume out of his mother’s fabric scraps, complete with a sword made from a rusted metal pipe. She was quick to dash those dreams and didn’t take kindly to him borrowing her things, especially not for such a “ridiculous” project. During lonesome, existential nights he wonders how differently things could have turned out if he had become a member of the guard after all. 

When his mother was absent or too volatile to be around, Sleet found company in local mechanics.  He learned how to swindle and cheat with the best of them. One shop owner actually took him under her wing, viewing his perceived weaknesses as strengths. 

Sleet first developed the transmogrifier as a kid. He used it not only to defend himself against the local rabble rousers and humiliate them. It wasn’t a complete success, only partially transforming targets, giving them wings or eyestalks and other unwieldy appendages. Transformations were temporary. No less horrifying however. 

He calls himself a jack of all trades. This title is dubious. Thanks to an enriching education from the school of hard knocks, he does have an approximate knowledge regarding a variety of things, though it’s usually limited to topics relating to self-preservation and chicanery. 

Animals don’t like Sleet and aren’t afraid to let him know. It’s become a standing joke. Dingo teases him for it, despite the fact that, because of his stature, toothy countenance, and tendency to squeeze or pet too hard, he isn’t the best with animals either. 

Sleet is a skilled marksman. He prefers distance, specializing in both handguns and long guns. If the weight class is right and the odds are in his favor, he can hold his own in close quarters using an array of hidden fighting knives and some rudimentary martial arts. Sleet simply won’t hear that his cape is a hindrance, even when this has been proven multiple times. All that being said, Sleet is more of a fleer than a fighter. He is an unabashed coward, not opposed to unning away screaming with his tail between his legs. 

While preferring motorcycles, he’s not half bad at riding animal mounts, thanks to the teachings of cowboy bounty hunter and old flame Fleabyte. It is serendipitous that he’s acquired this ability, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to stay on as well after zapping Dingo into a beast of burden. The poor brute has heard a lifetime’s worth of ass jokes from his rider. 

He enjoys strategizing and has free time stored away solely for scheming purposes. These lovingly-crafted plans generally go awry due to Dingo’s haphazard, devil-may-care nature and forgetfulness. That’s not to say Sleet would do better in the bounty hunting business on his own. He has the upper body strength of a wet noodle and a predilection for monologues and theatrics. He needs someone to shake him out of these ego trances.

Sleet uses his hands often when talking. Lots of flourishes and waves, tapping his chin as he feigns uncertainty, balling his fists and involuntarily shaking them when incensed. Little itchy, twitchy movements. Dingo finds it most endearing. 

Though tech-savvy and clever, his anger and pride sometimes get the best of him, leading him to make less than wise decisions, such as forcing machines past their breaking points or abandoning plans the moment his buttons are pushed. 

Sleet is not good at maintaining his hygiene, hence the hedgehogs’ odor-themed jabs. He'll polish and shine his armor until it glistens, yet giving the suit an interior deep clean is far from his mind. He's become so dependent on the power high and protection the suit gives him that he rarely takes it off. Dingo found this strange and a little concerning at first, but Sleet has convinced him that a good bounty hunter is always prepared in case of ambush. The thick polluted air of Robotropolis doesn't do any favors for his mangy fur coat either. So if anyone's a flea hotel, it's Sleet, though you’d be hard-pressed to find any fleas that’d give his scrawny hide the time of day.

Underneath that armor, he wears a black one-piece bodysuit  made of a silky, breathable material, more resilient than it appears. Sleet is skin and bones. It’s why he prefers working with a partner. He went through—or rather left for dead—dozens of other partners before finding a suitable match. Dingo’s hardy. Sturdy. Loyal. Revoltingly sweet. He’s an intriguing oddity to him. Dingo could easily kill him and yet he doesn’t. For a time Sleet wondered if he was just too dim to ever consider betrayal. 

He’s not big on displays of affection or people entering his personal bubble. However, when traversing through big crowds, he always presses close to Dingo, sometimes even reaches for his hand. 

Considers himself sophisticated. He’ll generally greet with a low bow and flourish, allies and enemies alike. Has neat freak tendencies, despite the fact he’s a hot mess himself.  In short, rules for thee, but not for me. There’s often a mental tug of war between his debonair self and the mouth-frothing sewer rat that lies deeper beneath. 

Sleet has a bad habit of late night tinkering.  He isn’t actively trying to be a night owl, time gets away from him. If Dingo doesn’t carry him off to bed beforehand, he ends up hunched over and asleep at his study. It does no favors for his already poor posture and eye bags. 

His reputation precedes him. When he freelanced, many bounty hunters steered clear of him because he was a noted cheat that backstabbed his partners. Despite these unsavory exploits, he manages to reel in even the most disconcerting of clients via ingratiation, boasting a nigh supernatural silver tongue. Those who’ve been tricked by him before cite his wordsmithing as being almost hypnotic. 

He tries his damndest not to acknowledge Dingo’s gaga eyes and honey glow cheeks. More times than one would deem platonic, he’s gotten distracted by Dingo’s chest. Though, to his credit, it’s hard not to when your co-pilot’s almost always shirtless and idly flexing his muscles. Even harder when you’re pinned beneath his chest—Dingo could make tripping over his feet a professional sport. 

💪 Dingo 🧬

Dingo has a sizable extended family, a horde of siblings and cousins back home. His destructive tendencies came as no shock to his aunts who raised him, since the family business used to be organized crime. The syndicate disintegrated long before Dingo was born, other groups like the Toad Warriors and Bear Pack Bikers quickly outcompeting them. 

Has no memory of his mother or father and holds no ill-will towards them. He has plenty of wild theories about their disappearance though. Everything from being lost at sea to being flattened by an asteroid. Whatever it was, he’s convinced it must have been legendary.

Of his litter he is the eldest brother. Barring fur color, none of his family look quite like him. His spots and flopped ear are noted recessive traits. His more dramatic features are the result of an understudied mutant gene. Nobody’s sure where in the family tree it came from. So far as Sleet can glean, it’s one in a billion, a title Dingo wears proudly. He isn’t interested in making connections with any long lost relatives, fearing there could be someone out there better than him at all things mutant. 

Dingo grew up in the outback of Tralius, quite some distance away from the hustle and bustle of Mobotropolis. He was a rambunctious, often rude and aggressive child. A typical schoolyard bully. Sometimes he would lament over his appearance and wish other kids invited him to play, but those moments were short-lived. Fortunately for his peers he could be easily tricked or bribed with sweets. 

Whereas Sleet took up inventing and sewing, Dingo loved throwing his weight around and exploring the great outdoors, wrestling every beast he came across and scaring vacationing campers late at night by pretending to be a Mobian-eating monster. 

In pursuit on foot, Dingo is bad at maneuvering sharp turns. His topheaviness and clumsy feet have cost a number of hunts. 

He has a sweet tooth. One thing he appreciates about the aristocracy is their love of extravagant desserts. 

He is very naïve and trusting. It was worse when Sleet wasn’t in the picture to talk him out of things. A country boy in the big city, Dingo was scammed out of a lot of his Mobium when he first arrived in Lower Mobotropolis. The shell game was just too alluring. 

Dingo is not so oblivious that he can’t rebuke Sleet’s gratuitous blaming. He can be sassy. Those who’ve had the displeasure of working with them can attest that, when tensions are high, they have the propensity to bicker like an old married couple. 

For someone who was raised in Tralius, he is unusually afraid of spiders and other crawly arachnids. He doesn’t enjoy turning into insects either, finding the overall sensation, in his words, icky. 

Transformation is typically painless. He tends to be sore after taking on the more abstract forms. If the strain is really bad, he will go to Sleet and ask to be massaged. Sleet used to refuse, but he has since humored him, asserting that he’s only doing it to check for signs of molecular decay. 

Dingo can morph without the assistance of the transmogrifier, though the process is slower. It depends on how distant taxonomically-speaking the chosen form is from his mammalian base. These transformations are not too pleasant visually or audially, so the remote is preferred.

Dingo’s mutant abilities have some drawbacks. Because of his rapid healing, his body will try to stop him from getting tipsy and keep him on his A-game.  He has to drink by the barrel to feel even the slightest buzz. Additionally, being stuck in one form for too long can leave him achy and disoriented, and if he changes too frequently his molecules buckle and unravel. It’s not a pretty sight. Sleet even theorizes that if he’s in a form for over two hours, he will get stuck that way. They have had close calls before, where after finally being turned back from a Mobini, some behavioral traits of the animal lingered.

Before meeting Sleet, Dingo could only morph if he remained focused, and those transformations were generally simple, such as limb multiplication or extension. The transmogrifier effectively glues his molecules together, meaning he doesn’t have to exert his concentration anymore. Colors are still somewhat of a challenge, tinted with his default orange. Nevertheless, he fools the untrained eye. When tasked with disguising as another Mobian, Sleet coaches him and will always supply him with a hidden microphone. 

After an especially big transformation, Dingo becomes so drowsy he can hardly stand. All that molecular stretching and rearranging, it’s draining. When he wakes, he is insatiably hungry. Which is saying a lot because Dingo already packs food away like it’s nothing due to his bulking regime. 

His accelerated metabolism often manifests in odd cravings, such as tuna and peanut butter sandwiches or pickle and pineapple ice cream sundaes. Sleet wishes he’d partake in his experimental cuisine somewhere else. Preferably out of the Red Whiptail’s cockpit—he gets crumbs everywhere. Despite being an extreme omnivore, Dingo cannot handle spicy food.

When he’s not making unusual combinations, and in turn making Sleet’s stomach churn, Dingo’s a decent chef. Messy, but decent. He’s the more culinarily adept of the two and makes dinner when time allows. 

He likes scrapbooking. Dingo has more stationary and cute pens than he knows what to do with. Unfortunately he’s heavy-handed, so many of his supplies are worn with love. He keeps mementos of every successful hunt. Little knick knacks and trinkets, maybe the occasional tooth from a beaten adversary.

Not necessarily a couch potato, though does spend most of his downtime lounging in front of the TV. He enjoys playing video games, although he’s not very good at them on account of his itchy trigger finger skipping past tutorial levels.  As long as he can shoot or smash things or toss chubby penguins off cliffs, he’s happy. He watches mainly big loud action movies, corny rom-coms, and slapstick cartoons. Sleet believes his screen time will rot the little left of his brain, though he has shown some interest in the historical Delmontian dramas Dingo skips past while channel surfing.

Has been known to boast quite the sailor mouth. It doesn’t happen often, the most foul only invoked for particularly painful offenses like stubbing a toe. Sleet doesn’t know what half the Trailian swears mean and at this point he’s afraid to ask.

Dingo does not like shirts. He especially hates the tuxedos and dresses Sleet makes him wear whenever there’s a bounty on an aristocrat. He tries to keep his grumbling to a minimum because dressing up makes Sleet happy. In casual settings, if more than his shorts is outright necessary, he’ll wear a quippy graphic tank top.

When they go out of town, Dingo always hits up a tourist trap or two, no matter how blatantly overpriced or mind-numbing. He’s a big fan of carnivals and amusement parks. Dingo’s demolished many strength tester games and would most assuredly be banned if he wasn't one of Robotnik's hirelings.

Not the sharpest tool in the shed, true, but he is definitely the more emotionally aware of the duo. When it comes to personal matters, he’s a good listener.

He has a twinge of separation anxiety. It’s not super debilitating, he just gets restless if Sleet is away for long. He can be possessive. This proves a problem whenever Sleet goes Casanova Mode to retrieve information from targets. It’s worth noting Sleet has moments of jealousy too when Dingo manages to hit it off with others, though he’d never admit it.

The hedgehog triplets are aware of Dingo’s crush on Sleet. To catch him off guard, they’ll sometimes slyly allude to it, much to a flustered Dingo’s chagrin.

Finds Sleet’s voice very soothing. It’s so soft and muted. He could listen to it all day. Often he does since, while certainly less exuberant than Dingo, Sleet can be a chatterbox when it comes to aristocratic gossip and comparing blaster models.

Despite being certifiably canine, Dingo makes all manner of noises. He snorts and huffs like a bull when upset and can unleash fearsome, leonine roars. When happy, he rumbles. 

Excitable. Liable to break the nearest object in vicinity from pure exuberation. 

Dingo can’t see well without his glasses. Despite the swanky look, they are in fact prescription. If they’re misplaced or knocked off by a meddlesome hedgehog, his clumsiness is increased tenfold. He is gentle when handling them. 

Dingo wears a bracer on his right leg. In a comedy of errors, he injured his leg as a pup while playing with a slingshot. For reasons unknown, his healing factor neglected to kick in. His knee aches at times. Dingo mostly wears it because he finds it cool and fashionable. 

His fighting knowledge is limited to the concept of hitting, hitting hard, and hitting dirty. He has no formal training, relying on instinct and what he’s seen on television to best enemies. His moves are sloppy and unrefined, but no less formidable. As a mutant shapeshifter, he’s also granted a number of potential forms. Even without Sleet’s transmogrifier, his elasticity allows him to grow in size and turn his arms into whipping tentacles or his hands into mallets. He could finish fights before they even start with this power, however Dingo prefers to milk his battles for all their worth. Some Freedom Fighters have reported seeing him actually play with the battered and unconscious like they’re dolls. 

He is actually well-kempt all things considered. Dingo enjoys bubble baths and singing—or caterwauling, as Sleet calls it—in the shower. His fur coat is soft and surprisingly dense, especially in the winter when it grows out. He sheds and has to brush himself fairly often. If he’s in a good mood, Sleet will help. The mastiff-like skin folds around his neck also have to be cleaned regularly. His mane is naturally bristly, akin to that of a wild boar. It softens somewhat after a good shampoo.

Dingo makes the first moves. He is usually the one who initiates. Trouble is, if it doesn’t involve flexing his guns or pulling a smoldering expression, Dingo’s bad at flirting. His word choice is . . . unique. Lummox that he is, his compliments come across more like threats. Turns out Sleet does not in fact appreciate being called small, fragile, and edible among other things. He’s since tried to alleviate this by writing down pick-up lines on his hand. 

Dingo’s definitely the more doggish of the two. He wags his tail, something seen as uncouth in aristocratic social circles and immature in most other places. He’s wounded himself on occasions by wagging so hard. Dingo also barks when he gets too excited or surprised and, due to his muzzle structure, is predisposed to drooling. If Dingo is proving particularly stubborn about going into a death trap or being used as bait, Sleet can convince him with a scritch between the ears. 

Additional Information

Their partnership was bumpy at first. Their differing personalities clashed and sometimes led to physical altercations. Nothing too dramatic of course, they are still cartoon animals after all. Dingo pulled his punches. Sleet might have been a nag, but he didn’t want to see him hurt.

Sleet and Dingo are both bisexual. Dingo has a slight preference towards men and masc folks. Sleet is trans. He performed his top surgery himself. Despite the quality of the tools he had at the time, his scars have healed remarkably well.

The two are very competitive. Before being hired by Robotnik, on particularly uneventful nights they played board games. They’re both cheaters so they went around in circles for hours. Lots of yelling, finger pointing, and eventually falling into a heap on the floor because they stayed awake all night trying to psyche each other out.

When they manage to squeeze any free time out of their schedule, they enjoy going to arcades and stealing prizes from kids. They also like to take potshots at the irradiated wildlife on the outskirts of Robotropolis and do prank calls—the Robotnik Intelligence Agency being a favorite victim.

Dingo believes that Sleet’s love language is mockery. That might not be too far from the truth. Sleet genuinely doesn’t know how to express himself. He doesn’t altogether know if he wants to. Sleet’s trained himself to think the worst of everyone so he’s not disappointed or hurt in the long run. In truth, Sleet appreciates acts of service. Dingo’s love language is considerably more simple, as things regarding Dingo so often are. Dingo’s huggy, nuzzly, altogether physically affectionate.

Sleet snores terribly. It’s not so much the volume as it is the whistling his nose makes. He’ll never admit to it, and gets flustered whenever Dingo tells him. Fortunately the walls of Robotnik’s fortress are thicker than those of their previous abodes, giving Dingo the chance to rest easy.

Dingo doesn’t understand mirrors. Sleet, egotist that he is, rather likes mirrors. He hasn’t owned any since the incident. It’d be a hassle to clean up glass and find a replacement everytime Dingo popped his head into Sleet’s quarters. Sleet has explained how reflections work to him several times before, yet it never seems to stick.

In his default state, Dingo has a strongman build. Sleet is a beanpole. Without his boots and shoulderpads, he’s slightly shorter than Dingo.

As far as affairs of the heart go, their relationship is unspoken. Dingo’s doing all he can, Sleet pretends he doesn’t see it, as on principle he believes love is for fools. There may or may not have been some wild nights where he had too much wine and slurred a few things suggesting otherwise however. He’s softening up to the idea, even if he doesn’t know it yet. In essence, he’s perpetually stuck in a “I Won’t Say (I’m In Love)” loop.

[x-soapbox-x]

Also I resent the idea that the ‘girl dinner’ thing isn’t an important thing to talk about. Like, we all know exactly what girl dinner is, it widely impacted the way women think about their food, and it has woven itself, briefly, into the greater cultural lexicon. Like, women’s relationships to food are already extremely varied and political. I have heard people talk about how girl dinner is a feminist concept bc it shows women being more concerned with the consumption of food rather then the preparation of it thereby divorcing themselves from the expectation to be a cook and in the kitchen dictated by their gender role. I’ve heard it called anti- feminist bc it encourages disordered eating in a landscape where women are already encouraged to engage in disordered eating. I’ve heard it framed as a push back against capitalistic burn out- I’ve heard it called a symptom of hustle culture. I’ve heard discussions on why it’s “girl” dinner and not anything else. Like, yes it’s a meme, it’s a joke it’s funny funny haha. But memes kind of collectively express our zeitgeist- it’s a way we all communicate with each other in a type of short hand that’s founded on everyone comprehending what’s going on underneath the hood of the joke, and they get in our heads and wiggle around and inform the ways we relate to ourselves. And memes are inherently transformative and meant to be played with and everyone will riff off any particular bit for months after. So I think talking about these things is revealing and relevant and exactly what think pieces should be about.

That being said, none of the conversation can even happen if fucking publications won’t stop laying off all their writers and hiding their shit behind paywalls so nobody is writing and nobody is reading, it’s just endless AI generated headlines that all link to a page asking you to pay 50 dollars a year to read words on a screen.

Do we just have no standards whatsoever about what things are worthwhile to talk about

[96thdayofrage]

What is Critical Race Theory?

Basically, Critical Race Theory is a way of using race as a lens through which one can critically examine social structures. While initially used to study law, like most critical theory, it emerged as a lens through which one could understand and change politics, economics and society as a whole. Richard Delgado and Jean Stefancic’s book, Critical Race Theory: An Introduction, describes the movement as: “a collection of activists and scholars engaged in studying and transforming the relationship among race, racism, and power.”

Kimberlé Crenshaw, one of the founding members of the movement, says Critical Race Theory is more than just a collective group. She calls it: “a practice—a way of seeing how the fiction of race has been transformed into concrete racial inequities.”

It’s much more complex than that, which is why there’s an entire book about it.

Can you put it in layman’s terms?

Sure.

Former economics professor (he prefers the term “wypipologist”) Michael Harriot, who used Critical Race Theory to teach “Race as an Economic Construct,” explained it this way:

Race is just some shit white people made up.

Nearly all biologists, geneticists and social scientists agree that there is no biological, genetic or scientific foundation for race. But, just because we recognize the lack of a scientific basis for race doesn’t mean that it is not real. Most societies are organized around agreed-upon principles and values that smart people call “social constructs.” It’s why Queen Elizabeth gets to live in a castle and why gold is more valuable than iron pyrite. Constitutions, laws, political parties, and even the value of currency are all real and they’re shit people made up.

To effectively understand anything we have to understand its history and what necessitated its existence. Becoming a lawyer requires learning about legal theory and “Constitutional Law.” A complete understanding of economics include the laws of supply and demand, why certain metals are considered “precious,” or why paper money has value. But we can’t do that without critically interrogating who made these constructs and who benefitted from them.

One can’t understand the political, economic and social structure of America without understanding the Constitution. And it is impossible to understand the Constitution without acknowledging that it was devised by 39 white men, 25 of whom were slave owners. Therefore, any reasonable understanding of America begins with the critical examination of the impact of race and slavery on the political, economic and social structure of this country.

That’s what Critical Race Theory does.

How does CRT do that?

It begins with the acknowledgment that the American society’s foundational structure serves the needs of the dominant society. Because this structure benefits the members of the dominant society, they are resistant to eradicating or changing it, and this resistance makes this structural inequality.

Critical Race Theory also insists that a neutral, “color-blind” policy is not the way to eliminate America’s racial caste system. And, unlike many other social theories, CRT is an activist movement, which means it doesn’t just seek to understand racial hierarchies, it also seeks to eliminate them.

How would CRT eliminate that? By blaming white people?

This is the crazy part. It’s not about blaming anyone.

Instead of the idiotic concept of colorblindness, CRT says that a comprehensive understanding of any aspect of American society requires an appreciation of the complex and intricate consequences of systemic inequality. And, according to CRT, this approach should inform policy decisions, legislation and every other element in society.

Take something as simple as college admission, for instance. People who “don’t see color” insist that we should only use neutral, merit-based metrics such as SAT scores and grades. However, Critical Race Theory acknowledges that SAT scores are influenced by socioeconomic status, access to resources and school quality. It suggests that colleges can’t accurately judge a student’s ability to succeed unless they consider the effects of the racial wealth gap, redlining, and race-based school inequality. Without this kind of holistic approach, admissions assessments will always favor white people.

CRT doesn’t just say this is racist, it explains why these kinds of race-neutral assessments are bad at assessing things.

What’s wrong with that?

Remember all that stuff I said the “material needs of the dominant society?” Well, “dominant society” means “white people.” And when I talked about “racial hierarchies,” that meant “racism.” So, according to Critical Race Theory, not only is racism an ordinary social construct that benefits white people, but it is so ordinary that white people can easily pretend it doesn’t exist. Furthermore, white people who refuse to acknowledge and dismantle this unremarkable, racist status quo are complicit in racism because, again, they are the beneficiaries of racism.

But, because white people believe racism means screaming the n-word or burning crosses on lawns, the idea that someone can be racist by doing absolutely nothing is very triggering. Let’s use our previous example of the college admissions system.

White people’s kids are more likely to get into college using a racist admissions system. But the system has been around so long that it has become ordinary. So ordinary, in fact, that we actually think SAT scores mean shit. And white people uphold the racist college admissions system—not because they don’t want Black kids to go to college—because they don’t want to change admission policies that benefit white kids.

Is that why they hate Critical Race Theory?

Nah. They don’t know what it is.

Whenever words “white people” or “racism” are even whispered, Caucasian Americans lose their ability to hear anything else. If America is indeed the greatest country in the world, then any criticism of their beloved nation is considered a personal attack—especially if the criticism comes from someone who is not white.

They are fine with moving toward a “more perfect union” or the charge to “make America great again.” But an entire field of Black scholarship based on the idea that their sweet land of liberty is inherently racist is too much for them to handle.

However, if someone is complicit in upholding a racist policy—for whatever reason—then they are complicit in racism. And if an entire country’s resistance to change—for whatever reason —creates more racism, then “racist” is the only way to accurately describe that society.

If they don’t know what it is, then how can they criticize it?

Have you met white people?

When has not knowing stuff ever stopped them from criticizing anything? They still think Colin Kaepernick was protesting the anthem, the military and the flag. They believe Black Lives Matter means white lives don’t. There aren’t any relevant criticisms other than they don’t like the word “racism” and “white people” anywhere near each other.

People like Ron DeSantis and Tom Cotton call it “cultural Marxism,” which is a historical dog whistle thrown at the civil rights movement, the Black Power movement and even the anti-lynching movement after World War I. They also criticize CRT’s basic use of personal narratives, insisting that a real academic analysis can’t be based on individually subjective stories.

Why wouldn’t that be a valid criticism?

Well, aren’t most social constructs centered in narrative structures? In law school, they refer to these individual stories as “legal precedent.” In psychology, examining a personal story is called “psychoanalysis.” In history, they call it...well, history. Narratives are the basis for every religious, political or social institution.

I wish there was a better example of an institution or document built around a singular narrative. It would change the entire constitution of this argument—but sadly, I can’t do it.

Jesus Christ, I wish I could think of one! That would be biblical!

Why do they say Critical Race Theory is not what Martin Luther King Jr. would have wanted?

You mean the Martin Luther King Jr. who conservatives also called divisive, race-baiting, anti-American and Marxist? The one whose work CRT is partially built upon? The King whose words the founders of Critical Race Theory warned would be “co-opted by rampant, in-your-face conservatism?” The MLK whose “content of their character” white people love to quote?

Martin Luther King Jr. literally encapsulated CRT by saying:

In their relations with Negroes, white people discovered that they had rejected the very center of their own ethical professions. They could not face the triumph of their lesser instincts and simultaneously have peace within. And so, to gain it, they rationalized—insisting that the unfortunate Negro, being less than human, deserved and even enjoyed second class status.

They argued that his inferior social, economic and political position was good for him. He was incapable of advancing beyond a fixed position and would therefore be happier if encouraged not to attempt the impossible. He is subjugated by a superior people with an advanced way of life. The “master race” will be able to civilize him to a limited degree, if only he will be true to his inferior nature and stay in his place.

White men soon came to forget that the Southern social culture and all its institutions had been organized to perpetuate this rationalization. They observed a caste system and quickly were conditioned to believe that its social results, which they had created, actually reflected the Negro’s innate and true nature.

That guy?

I have no idea.

Will white people ever accept Critical Race Theory?

Yes, one day I hope that Critical Race Theory will be totally disproven.

Wait...why?

Well, history cannot be erased. Truth can never become fiction. But there is a way for white people to disprove this notion.

Derrick Bell, who is considered to be the father of Critical Race Theory, notes that the people who benefit from racism have little incentive to eradicate it. Or, as Martin Luther King Jr. said: “We must also realize that privileged groups never give up their privileges voluntarily.”

So, if white people stopped being racist, then the whole thing falls apart!

From your lips to God’s ears.

[frostedfaves]

Repercussions (15)

Masterlist

Pairing: dark!Natasha Romanoff x dark!Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

Summary: Natasha and Wanda search for their printsessa with the help of Tony.

Warnings: dark themes, gun use, blood mention, serious injury

A/N: am I devastated that this is the final part of one of my favorite things I’ve ever written? absolutely! but I’m also really happy with myself for being able to turn the images in my head for this ending into coherent words. I’ve been holding onto this idea for weeks and I’m ecstatic to see everyone’s response to it. I’ll be letting you know later on this week what’s coming next! 👀

Previous part

-

With Clint’s assistance, Natasha and Wanda were able to quickly create a plan and make their way to the last base, using the fear and anger of their girlfriend’s disappearance to barrel through anyone that stood in the way of intel collection. They wasted no time in waking everyone up when they returned to the safe house.

“Is there a security breach?” Steve questioned as the group gathered, and Natasha tossed the hard drive at him.

“We got everything, and we need to get back--”

“Oh, I get it,” Sam cut in with an eye roll. “They rushed through the mission to get back to their girlfriend so they can cuddle and all that cute shit--”

“She’s missing!” Wanda growled as her eyes began to glow, causing Sam to step back a few feet with wide eyes.

Everyone aside from Clint started asking questions all at once, and Natasha shut them all down with a stern command to be ready to fly out in ten minutes. Bags were packed and bodies were dressed as the team rushed to get to the jet, afraid of what might happen if they delayed the two women any longer.

“While we’re checking out the house, I need someone looking into Wesley L/N,” Natasha ordered, nodding as Tony volunteered and sending him all the information she had.

“Who is this, her brother?”

“Her cousin, if that’s even true--”

“It is, we checked the family history,” Wanda insisted, grabbing Natasha’s hand with a shaky breath. “They’re really close, he wouldn’t hurt her.”

“We don’t know that! Anyone can do something terrible if they’re pushed far enough--”

“Stop! Just fucking stop!” Wanda cried out as she covered her face with her hands, and Natasha moved to wrap her arms around her as she sat in the seat beside her.

“I’m sorry, Wan. I’m just worried and my brain is wired to go to the worst case scenario instantly.”

Wanda simply sniffled as tears started spilling down her cheeks again, leaning her head against Natasha’s shoulder as she accepted the comforting embrace. After a few minutes of silence between the pair, Wanda dropped her hands into her lap as she glanced at green eyes already absentmindedly staring at her, lowering her voice as she spoke.

“I want to ruin his mind before we kill him.”

-

The house felt empty and colder without your presence, every step on the carpeted floor of the front room seemed to echo around the building. Tears threatened to build in Wanda’s eyes again but she held them back, intent on believing that they will find you and bring you back where you belong. Only they could take care of what you needed.

A heavy feeling washed over their hearts when they entered your solo room and discovered some of your clothes and shoes were missing, along with the travel bag you’d first arrived with. The guest room Wesley resided in was also void of his presence, and anything that could clue them into where he’d taken you. 

“Tash, look.”

Natasha followed her gaze to the security room, cursing loudly in Russian when she noticed the door left wide open. She stormed inside, clenching her fist in anger when she noticed the tiny plastic baggie holding the miniscule tracker that was supposed to be in your leg right now.

“He’s a psychiatrist, not a fucking surgeon!” she fumed as she showed the object to Wanda. “How did he get this out?!”

Wanda walked around her to get to one of the computers, logging in as fast as her fingers would allow her to type and bringing up the security footage from the last several days. For the most part, the two of you acted normally, doing all the things you’d told them about like playing games and watching TV, but the sight of the two of you emerging from the TV room in the basement and entering the game room brought something to her attention.

“Did you see that?” She backed up the footage and switched over to slow motion. “She’s limping.”

“Isn’t that the day she hurt her leg in the backyard?”

“Yes, but…” The backyard footage is brought up next and skipped through until the moment of your ‘injury’. “This happened almost two hours later, meaning--”

“It was a cover for the tracker removal.” Natasha cursed once more as she released a frustrated sigh. “She’s getting locked in her room as soon as she gets back here.”

A notification similar to a phone ringing went off on one of the monitors, and the two women scurried over to answer the incoming call from Tony.

“Everything you had on this Wesley kid checks out, no criminal history or secret ties to any Hydra related groups, or anything else you have to worry about. However, I tried tracking and hacking into his phone and it seems to be wiped clean. So I got into his phone records with his cell company and his last call was made to an unsaved number connected to someone named Kendall, last known address in Nebraska.”

“Send it to us, please.”

They were on their feet as soon as the call ended, grabbing the mission bags abandoned in the doorway and heading off to their respective rooms to repack for the trip.

In nearly the same moment, you were in your safe house in Nebraska, rounding the corner to enter Wesley’s room. He knew something was wrong by the way your eyes watered and your shaky hand held onto the bugging device.

“They found us.” There was no questioning tone in his voice, but you answered with a nod anyway.

“Pack everything you brought and get out of here, drive toward the west coast until you run out of gas and hide wherever you stop.”

“What?! I can’t leave you here! They’ll just take you back and it’ll be worse than before.”

“I’ll be fine, Wes,” you assured him with a gentle squeeze of your hand over his. “I planned for this too, and if I know them as well as I think, I’ll be free to come find you.”

-

Wesley was packed and gone within the next hour, and you worked quickly to transform the space, make it seem as if you’d been the only one to reside in the home. Once that was set, you changed clothes and positioned yourself in an armchair against the wall in the front room, a gun resting in your lap. You didn’t move when a knock was heard on the front door that night, simply waited until the visitors got impatient and picked the lock to force their way in.

“You worried us, printsessa, disappearing like that,” Natasha addressed you in a chilling tone as the two of them stopped a few feet away from you. “And we’ll deal with that later, after you tell Wesley to come out so we can punish him first.”

“He’s not here,” you told her calmly. “His only job was to bring me here--”

“And take the tracker out of your leg, which we will be putting back,” Wanda interjected with a stern expression. “Now, you can either come with us to the car willingly or we’ll drag you.”

“I won’t be doing either of those things.” You stood slowly, lifting the gun to your temple as you went. “Your only choices are to leave me here and go back to the way your lives were before I came in, or you can let me die. If you take me again, I’ll just fight you every day until you wish you’d killed me yourself. No matter how you manipulate my mind, my true self will never love someone who wants to control me. I’ll tell you how much I hate you for ruining my life every second I’m able, and I’ll kill myself the moment I get the chance to do so.”

You noticed the glassy look in their eyes as they faced each other, and you knew they were having a silent conversation in their minds. Seconds felt like minutes as they seemed to discuss their options, eventually turning back to face you. Wanda was fully crying now, and Natasha seemed to be physically holding back her own emotional break.

“We always thought we’d be able to love and care for you until our dying days.” Her shaky voice filled the quiet room. “But we understand if you don’t want that, and we’re sorry that you’ll never be able to love anyone else.”

Before you had time to react, Natasha was pulling a gun out and aiming it at your heart, the sound of the shot echoing and triggering Wanda’s instant sobbing. Natasha was quick to pull her into her arms, facing her away from you as you tumbled to the ground, your own weapon sliding away as your free hand weakly pressed against the oversized sweatshirt that covered your wound.

The two women hurried out of the house as you began to choke and cough up blood, not able to stomach hearing or seeing anymore, and the sound of a car speeding off echoed throughout the neighborhood. Waiting another minute or two to be sure they left, you got up to walk off to the bathroom, wiping the fake blood off your palm the best you could. After slipping the bulletproof vest off your torso and washing your hands, you quickly rinsed your mouth and brushed your teeth to get rid of the red stains, lifting your head to look in the mirror with a smile when you were done.

You looked pretty good for a dead woman.

-

Tags: @littlegasps @nat-km-mh @natasha-danvers @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @imnotasuperhero @creepingwolfberry @emilyprentisswife @cherrieloco @bebe404 @seventeen0 @buckmesidewaysandcallmesteve @its-a-long-way-to-ba-sing-se @fayhar @becka107 @wannabe-fic-reader @beforeoursecrets @cosmicbrownies7 @messuhp @mjaudrey @sxphiaswitch @trikruismybitch @muted-stoneheart @multi-images @just-a-normalpersons @want-to-watch-it-burn @stop-drop-and-drumroll @stickystudentlightmug @pianogirl2121 @welcometothepeanutgallery @witchxaf @natashadeservedmore @sakurat123 @darkangelxoxo @haiiiloeee2

[milgrammer]

[ENG] Love is mine Voice Drama

Mahiru: [humming]

Es: [footsteps]

Mahiru: I wonder when the prison guard will arrive… 

Es: [enters] Sorry for making you wait, prisoner number 6, Mahiru. 

Mahiru: Ah, no. It’s okay. I only just got here. 

Es: What?

Mahiru: [giggles] Just then, it felt like I was waiting for my date to arrive. Kinda made my heart flutter. 

Es: I’m not exactly one to talk, but… I’m surprised that you can say such a thing despite being in this prison.

Mahiru: Really~? But, this unfamiliar setting makes things super romantic, you know? Thanks to it, every day has been such a delight.

Es: [sighs] What a carefree spirit you are. 

Mahiru: Ah! I get that a lot.

Es: Do you fully understand the situation you’re in, Mahiru? You’re a prisoner who’s killed someone. You weren’t brought here to have fun.

Mahiru: Killed someone… I guess I did… I can’t really deny it, can I? 

Es: With that being said, from on, I shall be conducting this interrogation with the purpose of revealing your sins. This sort of situation is anything, but romantic.

Mahiru: Sin… My sin… I guess so. 

Es: Milgram exists to reveal the sins of you, prisoners, and to hand down the appropriate judgement. So, for that reason, talk to me for a bit. 

Mahiru: Talk? Yay, let’s talk! Let’s talk! Prison guard, are you interested in me? That makes me so happy!

Es: Hmph. Trying to get me to go off track like that is futile. All of you prisoners do the exact same thing… Can't believe I always fall for it.

Mahiru: What are you muttering to yourself about?

Es: Nothing. [clears throat] I shall begin the interrogation now. Let’s see. First off— 

Mahiru: I’ll start! I’m Mahiru Shina, 22 years old. I might not be much good at anything, but please be kind to me.

Es: I’ll be the one asking the questions here! Ugh, no. I know exactly what’ll happen after that from Yuno’s interrogation. It’ll be okay. Just gotta calm down. 

Mahiru: Right. Now it’s your turn, prison guard.

Es: What?

Mahiru: What’s your name? Your age?

Es: [hesitates]

Mahiru: What’s your name? Your age?

Es: It’s Es. As for my age, I’m… 15, I think. 

Mahiru: 15 years old! And, you’re a prison guard at that age, are you? Despite being so young, you’re so admirable. If anything’s troubling you, you can talk it over with ‘big sis’ here, okay? 

Es: Hey, Mahiru. Why do I have to answer— 

Mahiru: Hey, hey! Is Es your real name? Could it be that you’re not Japanese? Don't you have a surname or anything? 

Es: I-I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. I’m Es. I don’t know anything other than that, and I don’t need to either.  

Mahiru: What? You mean you have amnesia? Oh, you poor thing. Are sure you’re not curious about it? About yourself, I mean.

Es: Not a bit. I just tackle the work I have at hand. Sparing myself of any unnecessary information helps me concentrate better.

Mahiru: Huh? But, I’m so curious about you, prison guard. Come on, let’s do it! Let’s get to know more about you, prison guard.

Es: Get to know… about me?

[piercing sound]

Mahiru: Prison guard? What’s wrong?

Es: [hesitates]

Mahiru: Hey… Prison guard?

Es: Oh… yeah. Uh… I apologise for that. 

Mahiru: Did you zone out just then? This job must be pretty difficult, so you might be mentally burned out from work. Herbal tea’s good for that, you know? Oh! Like ginkgo tea—they say it helps improve brain function. 

Es: Oh, is that so? I’ll try a bit then… I mean, no! Enough about me. We’re in the middle of an interrogation at the moment.

Mahiru: Aw, what? But, it was just getting fun.

Es: I mean, why are you asking me questions anyway? Know your place here. 

Mahiru: But… But, you know, prison guard… I think having a mutual understanding of each other is pretty important. Prison guard, you want to know more about me, right?

Es: Well… Something like that.

Mahiru: That makes me so happy! Ah… No, that’s not what I was meant to say… In order for you to do that, getting to know each other would be the first step. Don’t you think? If I get to know lots about you, prison guard, then there will be more things I want to talk to you about. 

Es: Hm. That’s true. I guess that sort of approach might be quite effective on some people. 

Mahiru: Exactly! So, first things first, you should gather up all your courage and be completely transparent about yourself. Doing so will make your partner feel at ease, and they’ll start opening up about themselves more. 

Es: Is that so? ‘Self-disclosure reciprocity’ as we call it then? But, well…  Isn’t this quite the surprise? I didn’t expect you to be so well-versed on matters related to the human psyche.

Mahiru: Huh? S-self-disclosure reciprocity?

Es: In order to gain a deeper understanding of you, prisoners, I was trying to add whatever I could to my stock of knowledge. It was mentioned in one of the publications I read during that time. 

Mahiru: Really~? Prison guard, you’ve read it too? I’ve also read that one. That issue titled 1000 Kanto Girls’ Views on Love was so good, wasn’t it?

Es: [hesitates] What on earth is that?

Mahiru: What? So, you haven’t read it? Lain’s (1) special collection of romantic techniques!

Es: Lain? 

Mahiru: Yeah! Lain. It’s my favourite thing to read. “Fashion, trends, fortune-telling. This special collection on romance has articles about everything. If you wanna make yourself sparkle even more... Then, this women's magazine will help you get there!” 

Es: [sighs] So, it was all just a misunderstanding. Ignore what I said earlier then. 

Mahiru: Oh, that’s right! Prison guard, are you interested in romance at all? I wanna talk about it with you. You’re 15, aren’t you? Right in the heat of adolescence! Do you have anyone you like?  

Es: I honestly have no interest in those matters. 

Mahiru: What? No, no. There’s no such thing as that. Being in love is like a landmine. It'll explode someday, you know? The only thing that differs is whether it happens earlier or later in life. It’ll happen to you too. Even if you don’t have any interest in it now, one day it’ll explode for you as well. All because you’ll have that fateful encounter with your special someone.

Es: You sure do run your mouth a lot, don't you?

Mahiru: Yeah, yeah. You’ll deny it at first. I mean, I was like that as well. Before then, I always admired soap operas and shoujo manga because I thought that they depicted a world different from our own. 

Es: I don’t completely understand what you’re saying, but… Being in love and loving someone—are they really that important? 

Mahiru: They are.

Es: Hm.

Mahiru: They are… More so than anything else.

Es: I see now. [shifts] So, for you… that’s what it is. Prisoner number 6, Mahiru. 

Mahiru: Hm? What is?

Es: Somehow… After interrogating several people, I’ve started to get a rough idea of it. What you lot cherish, that is. 

Mahiru: So, what I cherish is ‘love’—is that what you’re saying? [giggles] Correct! It’s not like I was trying to cover it up or anything though. 

Es: Very well, does your homicide stem from love too? 

Mahiru: [pauses] I… guess it did. I think it was love. 

Es: So, because of love, you killed someone? 

Mahiru: I suppose… you’re right?

Es: I see. So, you became a murderer as a result of some relationship conflicts? Jealousy… Grudges… Having your partner stolen from you… Those stories aren't all that uncommon now are they? 

Mahiru: You’re wrong. It wasn’t that. I…never even wanted to kill anyone in the first place! 

Es: [pauses]

Mahiru: I just… I was… just being myself

Es: What do you mean by that?

Mahiru: [pauses] Not telling. After all, I still don’t know you that well, prison guard. 

Es: Hm. We should have a “mutual understanding” of each other, right? 

Mahiru: [giggles] Exactly!

Es: A troublesome one, aren’t you. But, that's fine with me. What are your own thoughts about it then? Do you think what you’ve done could be forgiven? Or was it absolutely unforgivable? 

Mahiru: Hmm. If you can’t forgive me for what I’ve done, then there’s no point in living—to be honest. [laughs] 

Es: So, if you can't kill anyone, there’s no point in you living—is that what you mean? My, oh, my… What a dangerous species you are.  

Mahiru: Oh, no! Uh… Those words actually sound kinda scary now that I think about it. I don’t want to kill anyone or do anything of the sort! But… 

Es: Hm

Mahiru: It's because I've… decided that I’m going to live for the sake of love.

Es: For the sake of love? 

Mahiru: I… discovered how amazing it was to be in love with someone. It’s incredible, you know? Each and every day seemed to sparkle and everything became so vibrant. It transforms such mundane sceneries into those out of soap operas and films! 

Es: I didn’t follow any of that.

Mahiru: [disappointed] I have a pretty poor vocabulary, so I can't describe it beyond clichéd phrases. But, I’m sure you’ll understand, prison guard! Once you fall in love, you’ll definitely get it! 

Es: Well, I wonder. 

Mahiru: Being in love is… If there was no such thing as love, then my life would be so bland. So, if you say that I won't be allowed it anymore, then there’s no point in me living. 

Es: Even if your love killed someone?

Mahiru: You’re so mean, aren’t you? 

Es: It was your love which killed someone, right? Despite that, will you still try to love another person? 

Mahiru: [thinks] Actually,  I was hoping you could tell me the answer to that, prison guard... If what I did was unforgivable. 

Es: What?

Mahiru: If my love could possibly kill someone, then I… shouldn't ever love another person again, I guess?

Es: [pauses]

Mahiru: Hey, prison guard, please tell me. If I love someone, is that something unforgivable?

Es: I don’t know. From the beginning, I never really understood what you were saying. 

Mahiru: Oh, I see... I guess so. There's something wrong with me, right? You can't understand me, right? 

Es: Yeah… as of now. 

Mahiru: Huh?

Es: As of now, I don't understand you—that’s what I’m saying. But, I will soon. Just wait and see. 

Mahiru: [excited]

Es: To be honest, the topics brought up in this interrogation were entirely outside my area of expertise. And, for that reason, I might have to deepen my understanding of it—just as you said. 

Mahiru: Prison guard…

Es: I’m your prison guard. Even if I have an aversion to something or if there’s something I can’t understand, I won’t just hopelessly give up on you like that… Not until I’ve judged your sins, and decided on whether I forgive them or not.

Mahiru: [happy] Does that mean you’ll always keep your eyes on me? 

Es: What? Well, it’s my duty after all. 

Mahiru: [exclaims] 

Es: What is it? 

Mahiru: My heart skipped a beat. 

Es: Just what on earth are you saying? 

Mahiru: I… guess I love people who are so enthusiastic about their work. 

Es: You… You’re messing with me, aren’t you? 

Mahiru: Ah, this isn’t good. Be careful, okay? Um… Um… If you’re that kind to me, you could die as well. Just—kidding?  

Es: I wasn’t trying to be kind to you or anything like that. I just downright, from beginning to end, had no idea what you were saying. However, I will promise you this. Rest assured. No matter what you do or what you think, I won’t die. 

Mahiru: [happy sound] 

Es: Because I’m Milgram’s prison guard—that’s why.  

Mahiru: [exclaims]

[mechanical noises]

Mahiru: W-what is this? Is it because my love exploded? 

Es: No. It’s the end of the interrogation. For goodness sake… And as always, things never go as I planned, do they? With you prisoners, I mean.

Mahiru: Uh… Um… This is what’ll be extracting songs, right? But, I’m not that good at singing though?

Es: It won't necessarily be you the one singing. Your mental landscape will present itself in the form of songs and videos—that’s all. 

Mahiru: So, you're gonna see everything… That's a little embarrassing. 

Es: Well, I don't know about that. The personal experiences I see, how true-to-life the videos are and their degree of abstraction—that all depends on the person. They might even depend on how each of you perceives your own sins.

Mahiru: Is that so? 

Es: Either way, I intend to find out what this world of yours looks like. 

Mahiru: I see. I see. I wanna watch it too. Because, for me, a world filled with love will be such a beautiful place. Oh! Prison guard, I’m sure you’ll understand how amazing love is through it as well. 

Es: Hmm. I’m looking forward to it.

Mahiru: Huh? That was unusually sincere of you.

Es: I just have a thirst for knowledge, that's all. Learning things you didn't know before is quite fun, don't you think? In order for me to understand the lot of you, I have to acquire knowledge from various fields. And, that's not exactly a bad thing in my books.

Mahiru: Really? I… guess I love studious people as well. 

Es: Shut it. 

Mahiru: You’re so mean.

Es: [sighs] The way I let you talk non-stop like that, it makes me feel like I didn't do my job properly. But, I'll ask you this just in case. Is there anything left you'd like to say? 

Mahiru: Ah… Um… Just one thing.

Es: Oh wow. You still have more to say?

Mahiru: Um… Uh, you know… Would it be okay for me to call you ‘Es’?

Es: No comment! [footsteps] Prisoner number 6, Mahiru. Come now. Sing your sins! 

As far as I’m aware, this isn’t a real publication, so unless Mahiru states the official romanisation of this author/publisher, I can only assume what it might be. I’ll update it if she does. Some alternatives might be Lane, Rein, Rain, Layne, etc. Don’t quote me on this, but I suspect that they might’ve based the magazine Mahiru reads on ‘Laurier Press’. ‘Lain’ looks similar to ‘Laurier’, so that’s why I chose it.

[sour-star-galaxy]

Ok ok so my brain kinda went off on this tangent of “hey, Taranza and Snatcher have been through similar circumstances, but had very different outcomes.” which eventually devolved into...

A Kirby AHIT crossover AU!!!!pleaseclap!!!

My friend helped me with some of the ideeas lmao. also this is gonna be a bit long, so a whole bunch of ideas and concepts are under the cut!

ok but anyway: Dark Taranza is Snatcher, Sectonia is Vanessa. 

Ok ok hear me out here, yknow how Snatcher used to be the prince? Well Taranza would be the prince in this, and his weird transformation of idk becoming a weird grumpy ghost man who’s a stickler for legality is his soul becoming Dark Taranza or whatever. Much different than kirby lore as DT and Taz arent the same person, but! it! works!

Kirby would be Hat Kid, Bandee would be Bow Kid. 

it just makes sense. 

Also instead of time pieces it would be little stars i guess? I’m thinking maybe either Kirby is trying to reform the Star Rod..? The spaceship would just be like some wierd star-shaped ship reminiscent of that thing he was in in the cartoon but just. bigger I guess.

OH ALSO, so yknow how getting yarns gives you new hats that give you different abilities? weeeell, you also know those like copy ability orbs? Well, Instead of yarn, Kirby collects shards of those to piece the orbas back together to get new copy abilities!

This might be a bit of a shocker as the rest of this is all game-related, but Tiff as Mustache Girl. 

Just. think about it. In the cartoon iirc she’s the one to always get angry when nobody does anything and just Lets Something Bad Happen. and that’s a lot like Mu! 

To go along with this, Mafia Boss is King Dedede! 

Kinda fits with how he used to be a tyrant, but also involved the cartoon a little bit because iirc, he kinda just. showed up and claimed he owned the place? and that was kinda what MB did????

(all the mafia goons are rlly mean waddle dees lol, not quite sure what this means for Bandee tho. actually, where did Bow Kid even come from? Is that ever said or am I missong out on lore? Maybe Bandee just saw how much of a tyrant DDD was and wanted to get away for a while and spend time with his new friend Kirby) 

Cooking Cat is Chef Kawasaki. 

i dont need to explain this

Magolor is DJ Grooves, Marx is The Conductor. 

Imagine DJ Grooves but if he was a lot more shady. Lying to Hat Kid about her chance at stardom. Every time he calls her “darling” is an act to try to her her to trust him so he could use her to bring him to the top. THAT wwould be magolor >:) a real bastard but he tries to be way too nice about it so you believe he really likes Kirby and not the fame he’s bringing him with his movies (he does grow to care by the end of the chapter though)

Yelling, swearing, wanting everything to be under his control and everyone to listen to his every word, ambition, recklessness that still follows a loose plan; minus the swearing I really think Conductor and Marx are alike lmao, if anything Con’s just much more grumpy but who cares. If The Conductor was much more enthusiastic, I think it’d make things more fun anyway. Marx’d be blowing things up out of sheer excitement and lust for destruction.

Alpine Skyline would take place on Ripple Star 

iirc, Alpine Skyline’s plot had a lot to do with a growing darkness making life dangerous for it’s inhabitants as it slowly took over. Sound familiar? haha dark matter go brrr. Ribbon would be there or something. I don’t remember any significant NPCs in AS. 

Badge Seller would be Susie. 

I have nothing good to explain this we had nobody else if you have other suggestions please help me.

Now for DLCs:

Nyakuza Metro would be. uh. Squeakuza Metro. Daroach would be Empress I guess. 

I know nothing about Clawroline so I cannot make her play that role 

I know almost nothing about Empress but. she runs a gang. and uhhh is fabulous

kinda funny that the cat becomes a mouse i guess idk

Seal The Deal would take place on the Halberd, Walrus Captain would be Meta Knight

I dont know anything about Walrus Captain sorry if this sucks

The seals would be various meta knights I guess? idk i feel like the meta knights are more competent than the seals but who am i to say i dont remember anything about STD

AHAHA WAIT NO THAT MEANS SEAL THE DEAL SDFGHJKAFGH im not deleting that i cannot i just was re-reading and it clicked in my mind

[clockworksteel]

Been noticing lately that as part of gender questioning, I seem to have a bit of a mental barrier that's located roughly around the midpoint of the spectrum of typical genders that's been a barrier to healthy experimentation (even if I'm guessing I'm nonbinary, it seems important to at least try what I can while I'm in a questioning mood). Thing is... I'm not entirely sure what the barrier is made of. Like... is it cult programming from being raised Mormon? Social programming from living in a society? Fear of what others would think? Impostor syndrome? I've just started calling it The Rubicon. This is of course a reference to R-Type Final's RX-12 Cross The Rubicon, which pushed the inclusion of Bydo in ships beyond their limits and led to the B-series such as B-1B Mad Forest. Or, you know, a reference to that whole thing with Caesar and Rome, I think it was.

Thing is... the implications are totally different depending on which reference I'm actually making. If I were to cross the barrier, would I unlock new options but still have the ability to go back and choose R-Series genders if I wanted (okay, maybe forcing the reference there), or would it truly be a point where the only way is forward due to discovering something that cannot be forgotten or ignored (is this an invasion of Rome or the Cthluhu mythos)? Of course, in R-Type Final, while the player can go back and choose other ships, I suppose in-universe humanity accepting the development of ships full of alien infestation represents a lot more.

Anyway, this post isn't about actually sorting out any of that, but about finding amusement in where, exactly, said barrier seems to be and/or just mentioning how things are going. I remarked to a friend recently that although I haven't crossed the barrier, it may have moved a bit closer to Rome at some point. Also, I'll mention The Valiey a couple times: it's the discord server associated with egg_irl (normally that I is capitalized and Discord's font make it look exactly like an l).

Voice Acceptable Activities: Collecting bookmarks related to voice training, lurking voice training discussion in The Valiey, trying to sing high parts in songs while alone (it doesn't go great, especially if I listen to myself try without the songs playing, but perhaps not as badly as one might guess), thinking about how cool it would be to be able to slip into a feminine voice during dialog as appropriate for when I'm recording Youtube videos Locked: Opening the voice training videos, which are probably badly needed if I wanted to get "Resonance" right (I've been lurking some voice training discussion and don't have a clear idea of what that is, but it's definitely not all about pitch and my pitches are probably fine if the rest of me was at all convincing)

Clothing Acceptable: Picking up an oversized T-shirt (by 2 sizes) at Wal-Mart and wearing it late at night and to bed, already owning some rainbow striped socks that go up to around the knees, thinking about getting taller socks (probably the next thing I'll actually do but haven't gotten around do it so just thinking for now), wondering where the measuring tape got to in case I need some measurements to use with size charts like for a skirt, imagining having a skirt, planning on getting a pair of more feminine glasses next time I routinely get glasses (I get 2 pairs at a time with my vision plan) Locked: Going through with buying a skirt or dress

Video Games (general) Acceptable: Choosing female characters a lot. I've already mentioned this. Locked: Naming a female character "Clyceer". This one might be because of a particular discussion where within a group of friends about an OC named Clyceer that by that point was half self-insert and half somebody-else-inserted-me. He had transformation powers but it was decided they'd only be used in cis ways. I guess I call it a discussion but really it was "I asked the only girl in the group if they'd be comfortable with him having female forms and she said no." This probably happened back when I was in high school.

Visual Novels Acceptable: Taking an interest in any visual novel my housemate plays. Locked: Playing otome games personally (Or maybe it's just that I already pretty much know what happens on most of the ones we own? I only caught a couple routes from Cafe Enchante though, mostly just that nerd Angel's actually).

Telling people I'm questioning my gender Acceptable: Shouting into the void that is tumblr. Joining The Valiey and introducing myself as questioning and setting my pronouns on that server to just they/their/them rather than having it be after "he/his/him or" like on Tumblr and Youtube. Locked: Telling my nonbinary housemate that I'm questioning. I don't think they've seen any of the tumblr posts, but they probably know something by now. I've mentioned The Valiey (but not what it is) and pointed out funny stuff like someone painting the trans flag on a virtual car and someone else joking that it can now double jump (Celeste reference). Plus they know about the oversized shirt and the rainbow socks of course. Also, people who are definitely cis probably don't suddenly mention Blahaj (the IKEA shark) a few times within the space of a week. Of all the mental barriers this one is probably the silliest. Super Double Locked: Telling any family members I'm questioning. Now this one is just reasonable.

Hair Actually, I think I'm just lazy about this. I'd absolutely remove all the arm/leg/chin/neck hair if it was easy and wouldn't be super uncomfortable after a couple days. Maybe it makes sense to wait until after winter before trying anything at this point though. Already almost officially fall. I think I've been doing the regular shaving a bit more frequently though. I guess I'm not sure of actually growing the top-of-head hair out ever. I visit my parents too often for it to be a thing I could just try.

Makeup Actually, due to sensory integration disfunction, this just seems unpleasant no matter what I realize about gender. Maybe if truly necessary I'd try something.

Other notes unrelated to the main subject of the post:

I've also saved some exercises that were shared alongside some transfem memes and have tried them, although I probably need something easier for the lower torso area. Still, the idea that I could make my build even slightly more feminine through exercise is oddly motivating.

I started developing a habit of crossing my legs (at the ankles) and have a couple bookmarks for reddit threads where other habits were being discussed (or at least asked about: I'll have to check back to see if there's substance)

Lately I've also just felt more motivated to do things around the house. The dishes have been more routinely getting done and other things have been getting cleaned up.

I hope R-Type Final 2 goes on a good sale soon. I also like that the only links in the post are to the R-Type wiki. I am, in fact, still a gamer.

How'd 1.5 hours pass just now? Did I really spend that long on this? It's bedtime.

[shizucheese]

So full disclosure, I actually listened to episode 7 on Saturday, but this episode had so damn much to it and I got a bit side tracked by a theory that I'm still working on but I really want to get this out before episode 8 comes out. Today is Tuesday, 2/27/24. Episode 7 came out 5 days ago on 2/22/24.

“Talkers”

Norris (Voice: Martin?/ Alex)

Episode 1: “Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email]”. The Stranger? The End? The Dark? The Lonely? The Flesh? Arthur (Nolan?).

Episode 3: "Infection (full body" -/- Arboreal [Journal entry]". The Spiral? (Paranoia? Auditory, visual and olfactory hallucinations) The Lonely? The Corruption. The Flesh? (Callbacks to the Flesh Garden from S5)

Common Themes: Hearing the voice of a dead/ missing loved one?

Chester (Voice: John?/ Jonny)

Episode 1: “Transformation (eyes) -/- Tresspass [chat log]”. Magnus Institute, The Eye. (Involves a forum; the Web?).

Episode 5: "Disappearance (undetermined) -/- Invitation [Internet blog]". The Eye (Movies. Movie name: "Voyeur" "Must be seen to be believed"...). The Web? (Another website?). (Very reminiscent of Mag 110: Creature Feature.) The "poor old guy" at the theater is totally an Eye avatar, right? Kinda gives me "Simon Fairchild when he was first introduced" vibes.

Episode 7: "Agglomeration (miscellany) -/- congregation [email]". The Stranger. The Burried. The Desolation. Possibly all of them if my theory about the items the Volunteers brought in is correct...

Unsure if this is Eye related like the other statements were. This is also the first "Chester" statement where the source material wasn't from a website or blog, which don't have the same expectation of privacy that the sources of the other statements do. Email, though, so still internet related, and this seems to be an open letter rather than personal correspondence, so it still might align with the theme.

Agustus: (rare?)

Episode 4: “Collection (blood) -/- musical [letter]” The End. The Lonely? The Slaughter.

Letter writer thinks passing on his violin might allow a part of himself to live on in his nephew. Very Jonah Magnus of him.

Music teacher hears “faraway music”, then goes crazy and throws himself out of the carriage and dies. Reminiscent of Mag7 and the Piper? The merchant’s wares include dice (Mag 29?). Got the violin from him (took his blood?). Effect of the violin reminiscent to Grifter’s Bone (Mag 42).

(Oliver Bardwell lol very funny guys)

Non-Talkers (?)

Episode 2: "Transformation (full) -/- dysmorphic [video call]". The Spiral? The Flesh. The Stranger. Ink 5oul (avatar/ entity?)

Episode 6: "Injury (needles) -/- intimidation [999 call] "Corruption? The Spiral? The Flesh? The End?

"Needles" reminds me of Michael!Distortion.

Notes and Thoughts:

"It's not like we're dealing with Tape Recorders..." I'm side eying you real hard, Celia. And what's with all of the questions? The "looking for patterns" question is 100% fair but those examples are AWEFULLY SPECIFIC. I wasn't entirely sure I bought the idea that Celia was the same Celia from TMA, but no this is totally her for sure. "DO YOU KNOW WHO JOHN" IS EXCUSE ME? WHAT REAL STUFF?

HILLTOP CENTER BRANCH?!!! 0 managerial or other support from HR; very reminiscent of the weird circumstances surrounding the house on Hilltop Road. Bear skin rug very reminiscent of the Gorilla Skin in TMA S3. The Volunteers remind me of the medical students from Mag34. The email is about events from 2015. This was the same year Gertrude died and John became the Head Archivist in TMA. Why am I not seeing anyone else talk about this?

I have a theory that I was originally going to put in this post but detangling that giant ball of red string entirely is taking too long so I'm just going to put the TL'DR here and maybe make a proper list later if I can ever finish pulling the string on that particular red sweater. Between the items the Volunteers bring in, and the events of the incident itself, what if every single Entity is represented? The gunshots that were heard were the Slaughter. The fire was the Desolation. The person who wrote the email being crushed by all of the items was the Buried. There are a number of artifacts that get listed off that could represent at least one if not multiple Entities (which might be their purpose; considering how many times the fact that the categorization was imperfect got brought up in TMA, it's probably more helpful to view them as a spectrum more than anything else), including some that are very reminiscent of things from specific TMA statements (The bear skin rug -> The Gorilla skin, Old medical equipment -> the syringe in mag 45? The telescope -> Maxwell Rayner was originally Edmond Halley, the Astronomer, etc. etc). So...okay, hear me out: what if this was all part of a ritual, and that's what the "good cause" was? A ritual that involved all of the fears being represented? Sound familiar? Except instead of it being a ritual to start an apocalypse or reshape the world in the image of one or more of the fears, what if it was a ritual to summon something that was associated with all of the fears? Or, rather, what if it was a ritual to summon someone who had been touched by all of the fears? And that's also why so many of the items seem to be analogous to things from statements and events from TMA? Like....maybe I'm wrong entirely. Or maybe I'm right about this being about summoning someone, or something, (maybe someone from TMA? Maybe Celia?), but wrong about it being John who was being summoned. But, again, this incident took place in 2015, which was the same year Gertrude died and John became head Archivist, and I feel like this means something.

Welcome to my Red String Board for the Magnus Protocol. Instead of making new posts I'm just going to reblog this and add new thoughts after every episode and update certain theories. Things might be a little bit messy because some of this is a bit stream of conscious but I'll try my best to at least keep the formatting consistent. So let's get this party started. 1/24/23: As of this writing the first two episodes have been released. Theory: As more episodes come out and we get more cases/ statements, is there going to be a pattern to the "Talker" statements and which voice gets used (or if it's a Talker at all?). References to specific subjects, Entities, other themes? What we have right now: “Talkers”

Norris (Voice: Martin?/ Alex)

Episode 1: “Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email]”. The Stranger? The End? The Dark? The Lonely? The Flesh? Arthur (Nolan?).

Chester (Voice: John?/ Jonny)

Episode 1: “Transformation (eyes) -/- Tresspass [chat log]”. Magnus Institute, The Eye. (Involves a forum; the Web?).

Agustus: N/A

Non-Talkers (?) Episode 2: "Transformation (full) -/- dysmorphic [video call]". The Spiral? The Flesh. The Stranger. Ink 5oul (avatar/ entity?) Are different characters aligned with certain Entities (working off of known Entities from TMA)

Alice  = Spiral? (Conspiracy Theories). Web? (Is the reason why Sam got his job. Her whole conspiracy theory thing could be way to mess with people/ manipulate them)

Gwen = The Buried (?) (Behind on her work. Ambition?)

Colin = The Slaughter? (Irritability) The Eye? (Something’s listening?)

Sam = The Eye (Hunger for knowledge/ need to know even when warned it could be detrimental).

I have a theory about the butterfly effect/ multiverse theory regarding the manifestation of the Entities and new ones emerging as a result of things being just different enough for it to happen. The full thing + my support for it is long enough to warrant it's own post though so I'm going to make it one and then probably link it here just for record keeping purposes. Edit: My Butterfly effect/ Multiverse Entity Theory

[flickeringart]

Further exploration...

I used this chart when going over the implications of the inner planetary placements (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus and Mars) and their aspects. You can find the post here.

I thought I’d move spontaneously with my own train of thought as it applies to this chart in order to explore it a bit more.

This person is pleasant but private. She’s definitely guarded, as would be expected with Pluto in the 1st, not in a way Saturnian way of being walled off, but in an observant and quiet way of attempting to assess the situation. She would appear to be tolerant and open minded, albeit careful with how she expresses herself, what she reveals and how other people respond (Pluto square Venus). There’s definite optimism but with reserve and caution. Her chart ruler, Jupiter, is in the 8th house of the subconscious and intimate relationships. It would seem as if she’s in for some fated discoveries and adventures, a search for meaning through the depths of the human psyche. It would be safe to assume that wisdom is to be derived from confrontations with the unknown and deeper dimensions of the human existence. In a sense, both the Pluto in the 1st  in Sagittarius and Jupiter in Virgo in the 8th points to a brave explorer that is destined to benefit from getting familiar with the best and the worst of human nature. Her confidence and expansion won’t come through anything superficial, bravery is required to remain curious when faced with the intensity of life. As it happens, Jupiter squares Pluto, which not only indicates a link between the principals of unconscious forces and expansion, but a tense link at that. The survival complex might drive her to jump at every opportunity to be more, learn more and see more of what is hidden from view. “What if I don’t become everything I could be?” is the paranoia of this kind of dynamic. This aspect stimulates action, a pressing need to uncover the truth, to soar higher through diving deeper. There might be great fear fueling the drive to make things happen, causing overextension and inflation. A Sagittarius Ascendant always meets life with boldness and optimism for better or for worse. One can’t miss an opportunity to see what lies beyond the horizon, or in this case, beyond the surface layers of reality!

The Sun, representative of the center of the personality, is inconjunct Jupiter and sextile Pluto, which further confirm the theme of expansion and inner subconscious forces in this person’s life. Sun sextile Pluto implies that there are resources of strength that can be used if necessary. She is probably aware of the power she can wield in terms of resilience, focus and dedication. There’s perseverance and stamina to the personality, without it being compulsive. Sun inconjunct Jupiter is a more ambivalent dynamic. Sometimes, the optimism and general faith seem to be present, at other times she might feel the need to reconsider her perspective and ideas in order to get back on track. Nuance should be considered before setting out on quests and careful deliberation is called for. This is especially true since Jupiter is in Virgo, the analytical earth sign. Modesty, moderation and detailed organization are likely to be skills that bring rewards. It’s not wise to overdo anything and to blindly go for things though– in the case of the inconjunct aspect, things could work out sometimes and sometimes not, which is why discernment is called for. The Sun is in Aquarius, which means that this person is civil and respectful in her personality but also very attached to her own intellectual autonomy and freedom. Aquarians are always friendly and interested in others but never at the expense of their own vision. Aquarius is a fixed sign and won’t except that other people have a sounder mind than they have. Beyond a certain point there’s no room for compromise or deliberation – they like to keep their personal universe intact – even if it’s completely different from everyone else’s. In order for the personality to work well with the abundance of Jupiter in Virgo, she should attempt to be a little more flexible and open to questioning her own fixed mental stance on certain topics. It’s possible to remain in integrity while adjusting certain perceptions and reap the rewards that exploration brings.

Continuing on with the Sun, it forms a conjunction with Neptune, which means that the personality goes hand in hand with the archetypal redeemer, sacrificial victim and artist. There’s softness to this person, passivity and an air of otherworldliness perhaps. In more negative terms, the person might have a personality that exhibits the “holier than thou” attitude. This person can be whatever she likes to be because the identity is not very defined. Yet, she definitely lives in the real world and is keen on materializing the dream, to find herself through her capacity to be potent in the real world (Sun in the 2nd house). The famous painter Frida Kahlo had Sun conjunct Neptune, albeit in Cancer in the 11th house, which indicates a more sensitive and feeling based personality that expressed though art – in the sphere of the collective matters, ideas and change. In the case of this person and this chart, there’s also awareness and emphasis on collective movement and how it affects identity, seeing as the conjunction sits in Aquarius. Self-actualization and individual purpose won’t be found in the sphere of the collective however, it will be found through developing personal control and potency in the real world of material possessions. It’s likely that the person is unaware that the sense of self is tied up with the Neptunian ideal of redemption – conjunct planets usually let us assume that everyone else is the same way – perfectly imperfect, abstract and fluid. Neptune is not very comfortable in the 2nd, being a transcendent principle in a primordial sphere of life. There’s a big risk that when money or possessions are lost that the identity follows down the drain – and painful disillusionment and disappointment instills. Uranus, the Sun ruler, is in Pisces, with further confirms the theme of universal love and collective identity tied to potency in the physical world.

As far as career and work goes, there are a couple of pieces that conspire to make up a certain picture. The ruler of the 10th house of career is Libra, although containing a good bit of Scorpio as well. Venus, the ruler of Libra is in Pisces in the 3rd house of communication, Neptune, the ruler of Pisces conjuncts the Sun in the 2nd. The ruler of the 6th house of work and employment is Gemini, with the ruler Mercury in Capricorn in the 2nd house. Without following the trail any further it’s obvious that there’s a theme of aestheticism and refinement (Libra and Venus) tied up with the redemptive artistic dream (Neptune and Pisces). There’s also interaction, communication and intellectual creativity (Gemini) tied up with material assets (Mercury in the 2nd). Not to mention, Mercury sextiles Venus - a definite indicator of someone who has great writing and communicative skills. There’s a big chance that anything from artistry, writing, sharing, interacting and helping people could be in the cards for this person. As noted, Libra might be the ruler of the 10th but Scorpio also has a presence in the sphere of career matters. In fact, Venus, the ruler of Libra squares Pluto, the ruler of Scorpio. The Venus principle of beauty, love and sophistication makes a tense connection to Pluto, the primitive force, destroyer and transformer. This person might go through power struggles in love and relationships, attempting to control how one is perceived, using subtle dominance tactics to enforce a certain impression. Sociability and charm characterizes the public image as well as privacy, secrecy and guardedness.

Let’s look at relationships, needs and emotions a little bit closer. There are a few things worth exploring, Venus (the sense of beauty and harmony), the 7th house of other people and partnerships, the 8th house of intimacy, death and transformation and the Moon (emotional and physical needs). Since Venus has been touched upon already, let’s look to the 7th house. Gemini is the ruler but Cancer takes up a lot of space as well. The person would seek mental stimulation and interaction through other people, learning and exchange of information. The 7th house is the sphere of life in which the person has to adjust, seek equilibrium and cooperation through the signs occupying the house. Gemini is good at seeing both sides, adapting and playing parts for the fun of it. Cancer is good at sensing the atmosphere and avoiding direct confrontation in order to create safety. The person might encounter struggle and work when tapping into the emotional requirements of being in a relationship, seeing as Saturn is placed here. It would take deliberate striving and concentration in order to achieve some kind of emotional well-being. Since planets in the 7th are easily projected, the person might think other people are walled off, rigid and defensive of vulnerability when in fact it’s a reflection of oneself. The person might have difficulty relating to others on an emotional – physical level, admitting to her instinctual needs and allowing herself to be nurtured and cared for. The Moon, the ruler of Cancer is in Leo in the 8th, quite hidden and brooding underneath the conscious surface. A Leo Moon wants to shine, to be seen and appreciated, but in this case, it lives this out in secret, behind closed doors and through intimate bonds. It’s a powerful Moon, trining both Mars (the personal aggressive drive) and Pluto (the inner emotional forces). Emotionally, this person would be quite demanding, insisting on getting her way. Interestingly, the Moon is also part of a yod figuration, being at the mercy of Venus and Mercury trying to modify and adjust the emotional nature through reason and values. The person might be prone to rationalize and idealize emotion, or try to adjust emotional needs to fit intellectual preferences. There’s a slight polarization of the rational mind - personal preferences and emotional needs. Needless to say this could prove somewhat challenging in relationships. In addition to these aspects, the Moon finds itself in opposition to the Sun (personal identity and purpose) and Uranus (mental convictions and progressive outlooks). In other words the feminine mother archetype is pitted against the masculine father archetype in her life.

The opposition of the Moon and the Sun is usually and indicator that there’s a tendency to disown either one’s instinctual-emotional side or the purposeful conscious direction of one’s life. Some would say that the personal father probably couldn’t relate to the personal mother and vice versa, that they lived complementary lives rather than living a shared experience. The fiery, passionate Moon certainly collides with the more intellectual-rational and “spiritual” Sun conjunct Neptune in Aquarius along with Uranus and Venus in Pisces as well as Mercury in Capricorn. People who have their Moon in opposition to the Sun will seem to have contradictory forces going on, with a Libra-Aries opposition for example, there’s a sociable sympathetic airy personality that fronts in a certain circumstance, and at another time and place that very someone is reckless and impulsive, acting completely “out of character”. A swing of the pendulum has occurred and the Aries Moon has come out, fierce and uncompromising as a striking contrast to the diplomatic and smooth Libra Sun. In the case of this person the dynamic would be similar, the Aquarius Sun would be aloof and quite determined and fixed in conceptual freedom, tolerant, intellectual and open-minded. The contrasting Leo Moon would be bursting with creative energy, wanting to be admired and noticed for its talents and expression. The objective quirk in contrast to the inspired creative can’t exist in the same space and must take turns showing up in life. Because Aquarius and Leo are opposite signs, there’s always going to be ambivalence and insecurity present, the person doesn’t quite know how to integrate the two principals, which is understandable.

It’s likely that the person felt torn between the mother and the father growing up, having to alternate between the two.

Let’s take a closer look at father signifiers in the chart. Let’s look at the 4th house (assuming that the 4th relates to the father) with Aries on the cusp and Mars in Taurus. He must have been quite determined and domestic, presumably quite conventional and aligned with the customs and traditions of society seeing as Mars is sextile Saturn, but also quite eccentric, original and innovative seeing as Mars is sextile Uranus. Mars also makes a square to Mercury, which is a clear indicator of someone who is overly convicted of one’s intellectual capacity to the point of it being detrimental. Although there’s force and sharpness to the intellect there’s pride involved, which might take over and lead to this person forcing information down people’s throats. Mars is also trine the Moon in Leo which would point to a warm and nurturing side. All in all, it seems like the father is quite a force to reckon with – stable, dutiful, exciting, warm, and active, with a risk of going over the top when interacting and engaging with others. In addition to the 4th house image, we have to look to the Sun as a father principle. It’s in the 2nd house of material possessions, which perfectly aligns with the 4th house and its connection to Taurus, the fixed earth sign. Not to mention that the Sun is in Aquarius, highlighting the Uranian connection of inspiration and vision. He would surely be a financially and materially focused person with a lot of inspiration and excitement for the future as well as an interest in public affairs and public relations (Sun inconjunct Jupiter). He’s also a Neptunian type and probably has a rich imaginary realm, inevitably deeply affected by the terrors and misfortunes others are put through, overall sympathetic and accepting of all fates and experiences. There’s also the Sun-Moon opposition, pointing to somewhat of a homebody, deeply connected to the emotional past and its memories. He might’ve had difficulty integrating that part of himself, being a strong presence in the outside world and retreating back into a safe space.

Let’s have a look at mother signifiers in the chart as well. The 10thhouse is unoccupied; Libra is the cusp ruler and Scorpio fills the majority of the house. This is a mother that probably was concerned with behaving in all the socially appropriate ways. It’s also indicative of someone who seeks validation and appreciation and gives it to other people in order to create harmonious atmospheres. She’s also somewhat private, watching her back and letting people know that she sees it all and won’t let things slide. This mother is a pleasant social navigator and private, defensive and biting type. Moving on to the Moon, which gives us an image of a woman of passion and courage, a stubborn fighter (Moon trine Mars and Pluto) working in the shadows of the 8th house. She’s not someone to openly display her force, although it’s certain that she has a whole lot going on beneath the surface layers. Passionate nature aside, she’s also very diplomatic and interactive, although she might have to put in some effort to not let her need to please, interact and care get the best of her (Moon inconjunct Mercury and Venus). She would be restless; the kind to feel trapped and kept apart from her own potential and progression (Moon opposite Uranus) as well as her own purpose, self-actualization and possibly even redemption (Moon opposite Sun-Neptune). It would seem as the mother is trapped through conventional reason (Moon inconjunct Mercury in Capricorn) and self-sacrificing ideals (Moon inconjunct Venus in Pisces). The 8thhouse is related to other people and their resources/values indicating that she is living at the mercy of conditions beyond her own control, at least in her own experience. What other people are willing to support or not support determines her situation – it doesn’t lie within her own control.