#but I had some sudden motivation today and put some effort into this lol

[weirdmorefics]

LOL I totally can imagine Crowley teasing Aziraphale about his doppelganger being Y/N's dog! GHCJNCFZZHGNCGKCNJGDSJ

Aziraphale's Secret Twin

Pronouns- They/Them

Word Count- 742

Summary- The reader's dog sitter cancels last minute so they are forced to bring their bichon frise to the bookshop.

Aziraphale x Reader x Crowley (can be read as platonic or romantic)

Y/n was running late for their job at the bookshop which wasn't all that unusual because they always stopped for coffee at Give Me Death Or Give Me Coffee first. However, this time was a little different as they had everything ready to go just anxiously waiting for the dog sitter to pick their baby up. Unfortunately, the sitter called just minutes after their usual arrival time that they had the flu and could not make it. Y/n assured them it was fine and wished them a quick recovery.

Y/n squatted down to their dog's eye level, " Now what are we going to do with you today Mr." They ruffled their dog's fluffy head of the dog as the dog smiled widely back.

Y/n only saw one option they would simply bring their dog with them but hide it in their bag. Y/n couldn't possibly leave the pupper alone all day not with the dog's major separation anxiety and tendency to get into the trash.

Y/n tried to walk into the bookshop as quietly as possible but of course, the bell on the door immediately alerted Aziraphale to their presence.

"Good morning, Y/n" He smiled and welcomed them in. "I was thinking the bookshelves could really use a good dusting today," He says motivated and annunciating the word dusting by swinging his arm up.

Y/n felt the dog go to peek its head out of the bag at the new voice and they quickly try to settle the dog lower into the bag with their hand. Crowley who was sitting on the sofa observing your entrance made note of this action.

"Y/n?" Crowley questions you slightly tilting his sunglasses down his nose.

"Yes," Y/n blinked up at Crowley innocently fluttering their eyelashes.

"Did something just move in your bag?" He continued to question despite your cute efforts to distract him.

Y/n chuckles and makes an awkward excuse, "Maybe you need some prescription sunglasses."

Crowley and Aziraphale can always tell when Y/n is lying well most everyone can tell when they are lying because simply put Y/n is the worst liar in the galaxy. Aziraphalee gives Y/n a questioning look and Crowley slowly stalks towards Y/n like they are a deer that will spook at any sudden movements.

Y/n is quite literally back into a corner due to backing up into a wall due to Crowley's advances. Y/n yelps in shock when their back hits the wall and their dog instantly peeks its fuzzy little head out of the bag to check on their owner. Y/n facepalms at themselves how did they seriously think they were going to hide a dog from an angel and a demon for a full workday.

"Y/n, what is that?" Aziraphale points to the dog.

Y/n profusely apologizes, "I am so sorry! My dog sitter last minute canceled and I couldn't bear leaving my little baby at home all day." Y/n then lifts the little snowball dog from their bag and rubs it against their cheek.

Crowley rubs his chin in thought, "You know what Angel the little thing looks remarkably similar to you."

Aziraphale looks a tad offended putting a hand to his chest, "How does a dog look like me?"

Y/n nods looking between the dog and Aziraphale, "You know what I see it!"

Aziraphale's eyes narrow, "You do not Y/n!"

Crowley looks at Y/n, "I think it's the hair."

Y/n nods vigorously, "It's the fluffiness and curly cues! Now that I think of it they even act alike! My puppy is a true food connoisseur who only likes fancy expensive food. My puppy is super upbeat and always smiling like Aziraphale!" Y/n seems to get more and more excited as Crowley and they come up with more similarities.

"Fine, I must admit the hair is similar but do not compare my smile to a dog's smile." Aziraphale sighs.

Crowley smirks, "Don't worry angel no one has as cute of a smile as you."

To the untrained eye, no one would notice Aziraphale's slight blush and look to the side but Crowley who had known Aziraphale from the beginning, and Y/n who caught on quite quickly from working daily with the pair noticed instantly. Both had to fight back the huge smirks on their faces but both failed miserably.

[alexanderflowerbird]

DAY 10

Wahoooo! Today has been a SUPER productive day of writing! I set my goal at 3K and I finished out at a WHOPPING 4207 words! Yippee! Blood Sun Territory has me by the throat in the best way, and I'm so excited to report that while I still have disjointed scenes coming to mind, I have completed the first chapter.

I revealed to my writing group a tragic reveal coming up later in the story and the howling and gnashing of teeth that resulted was so satisfying lol. Being part of a writing group is really gratifying, and honestly? I like these folks and their work so much I'm very tempted to see if they'd like to simply continue writing together after November is over.

Obviously with the holidays coming all of us will end up crawling to our keyboards to get work done, but like... I want to see their projects unfold in real time, and I am enjoying sharing my work with them so much it keeps me motivated to keep working.

The excerpt I have for you today will not be 4000 words lol, but it will be the last parts of the first chapter where Malachi discovers that there's hope in his dream to make things right with Felina and be with his daughter Mercedes in a very touching way. I cried imagining it, so of course he cried too, and it was really cathartic to write all told. I hope you enjoy it! Taglist: @theskeletonprior @thelittlestspider @badscientist @tragedycoded If you'd like to be part of my taglist, please interact with this post

“Well, you’ve got a nice little nest egg to start back up with.” She says, pleased for him, and he looks at her with surprise. 

“How much is there?” He asks, because he can’t remember the exact amount he’d had in the bank account before he was put in prison, but he’s sure it wasn’t anything impressive or substantial when he and Felina were living paycheck to paycheck, pouring every dollar they had into their daughter. He’d honestly have been alright with discovering there was nothing at all in the account, that Felina had emptied out his funds to continue taking care of their daughter without a second thought for him. He’s grateful to find something was left, but a ‘nice little nest egg’ is not the phrase he’d have used for what was left in the account when he’d been sentenced.

“Your account is at one thousand dollars exactly, sir. Not a cent more. Nice and even, don’t see that much, I’ll tell you.” The woman says conversationally. Malachi has to grip the counter, his knees weak. A thousand dollars? He had never had a thousand dollars at one time except right when his checks out come in, and even then, it’d disappear almost over night to pay bills and buy groceries and gas and toys and diapers and all sorts of other necessities. The bank teller looks concerned again, so he speaks quickly. 

“Is there a way to uh… see the transactions in my account?” He asks, because surely there’s some mistake. Maybe he somehow made that money in prison and it was put into the account as soon as he left. That feels impossible too, making thirteen cents an hour at the prison and being expected to use it on anything that wasn’t the bare minimum of belongings. No. There’s no way he has a thousand dollars on his own merits. 

“Sure! Let’s see…” The woman clicks at her keyboard a few times and then moves to get up from her seat. “I’ll be right back with that, and I’ll activate that new card for you while I’m at it. Just a minute Mr. D….Ah, sir.” She says, smiling wider before going away from the window. He feels sick, so he focuses on his breaths and closes his eyes, opening them to scan the area around him and take stock of where he is, what’s near him, what everything looks like, anything to quiet the sudden spiral of panic. He notices in this sharpened effort to remain present that the woman’s name is Leslie, it says so on her name tag, a black tag, with gold embossed letters. She has a pin underneath it proudly reporting that she’s been working for this bank for fifteen years. Leslie was just starting her career here when Mercedes was born. She slides a small pile of papers his way along with a new card which has a print on the cover of evergreen trees rather than the old, solid green. It is fresh and glossy, its edges undented with use, the numbers sharply painted a titanium silver color. He accepts the papers and the card. 

“Is it okay if I go take a look at these for a moment?” He asks, still struggling to breathe. 

“Sure of course. Just come back over here when you’re done and we’ll finish up whatever other business you have, alright?” He nods at Leslie, and can feel her eyes on him as he looks around for a moment before settling on the island near the entrance of the bank where the deposit and withdrawal slips are made available for people to fill out on their own. He places the papers on the shiny wood top and begins reviewing the transactions. She was able to pull from five years back only, but immediately the numbers as they ebb and flow are revealing. Felina’s name is there, again and again and again, money going in and coming out. He flips the page, the next page, the last page. The money has been sitting without disturbance for a little over two years. He goes back to the beginning. She’d emptied the account twice, leaving it empty for no longer than a month before more money was trickling in, twenty dollars here, a hundred fifty dollars there, up and up, then down, then up again… and at some point, two years back… she’d left him a perfect, even thousand, and hadn’t needed to touch it since. He chokes a little, gasping for breath as the letters and Felina’s name obscure in his vision. He covers his eyes with his hand, but the tears aren’t halted by him hiding them away. He trembles, eyes clenched shut, gasping out quiet sobs as he blots the fresh ink of the bank account transcript with tears. He can hear people moving around him, cautious to not disturb this moment they don’t understand, but he can’t think of them. He can’t think of anyone but Felina. 

He hadn’t meant to, but he’d betrayed her. He’d loved her with every part of him that could love her, and she’d deserved more than that. He’d lied to her for so long about who he was, what he wanted, let her find out in the worst way. He’d tried to make their lives better quick and dirty, and cost her an extra hand to raise their daughter. He’d destroyed their life, killed it in its crib thinking he’d jump over years of hard work and get them a house and a nice car and he’d get it all without getting in any trouble. Stupid. Stupid and selfish and utterly unworthy. He doesn’t understand it, why even two years ago she was thinking of him. It reminds him of all the times she grabbed him hard by his arm and forced him into a jacket. How she’d sit on the edge of the tub and wash his hair and rub his shoulders, insist upon it even if he thought baths were too feminine an activity only to be utterly relaxed and comforted by her attention. How she’d cook too much of his favorite foods, and when he’d ask why she made so much, she’d smile at him, beautiful beyond words, and say ‘it’s so you can have your favorite tomorrow, too, stupid.’ 

How she’d loved him, more than he’d ever deserved. Even before he knew he liked men, even before she’d caught him, from the very beginning she’d loved him more than he could ever make up for. A thousand dollars. It’s more than enough to go and find her. Now he must say thank you as well as sorry, and he wants to so badly. If somehow he could close the space in an instant, if he could be where she is right now, he’d fall to his knees to thank her, to tell her how sorry he is, how much he loves her. Despite everything, she must love him too, and he’s terrified to hope for that to be true, but when he takes his hand away from his eyes and wipes away his tears, the numbers are clear again and he cannot deny himself this beckoning offer of redemption. She gave him what he needs to come home. Maybe she didn’t mean it that way, but it’s what he intends to do with it. He wants to go home. She’s home. God help him for ruining it all. She’s home, and he has to go to her and their daughter and say thank you and he’s sorry. 

He tries to pull himself together, but it takes several minutes, the complexity of this silent gesture hitting him in waves. She could’ve left him nothing and she would’ve been right to. Wherever she is, she must be doing well enough not to need this thousand dollars. Each time she emptied it out, she could’ve decided fuck him, and let it be, but she couldn’t go thirty days without trying to put more money back in. When he finally has a hold of himself, he returns to find Leslie terribly concerned, her eyes searching him for understanding. 

“You alright, sir?” She asks gently. 

“Yeah I ah… Yeah. Thank you, Leslie. Can I… Can I take a hundred bucks out in cash, please?” Leslie nods immediately and types a few things into the computer. 

“Twenties alright?” She asks. 

“That’ll be fine ma’am. Oh. Actually ah. I need a roll of quarters, the rest can be bills.” He amends. He still needs a payphone, that’s next on the list and he’s not willing to wait on it until he’s found a hotel for the night. He needs to ride the heart wrenching high of this moment and use it to muster his courage. He is terrified more than ever of what awaits him now. It was one thing, to believe he might find Felina and Mercedes and not have a chance to make things right with them. Now, he feels he has a good chance of trying and he might fuck it all up again. That, he is realizing, is much, much scarier. Leslie produces the bills and puts them in an envelope, setting the roll of quarters on top. When Malachi reaches for them, she reaches into the slot and brushes her fingers against his knuckles, her manicured nails stroking lightly across his skin. 

“Hey,” She says gently, and when he meets her eyes, she smiles at him. “You have the best day, sir. Alright?” He smiles at her, teary all over again, unsure what he’s done to deserve any of this, Felina’s saved money for him, his freedom, this stranger’s unprovoked kindness. 

“Thank you, ma’am. You too.” He says softly, taking the money after turning his hand over to squeeze hers, tucking the envelope into his wallet and the roll of quarters into his pocket. When he leaves the bank, the fresh air outside smells of oncoming rain. He wipes his eyes one more time and breathes deep. He knows what he needs to do next, so he turns and makes his way down the street, on the hunt for a pay phone so he can make a call and hope that some how, the world will continue to bless him with kindness he doesn’t deserve, but he hopes to become worthy of.

[writers-block246]

Can you write a Kyoya ootori x fem! Reader smut where Kyoya has a knife kink ? Thanks!

Authors Note: Omg I am so sorry I haven’t uploaded in a hot second. Senioritis has been kicking in lately lol. But yes I can write this, (especially with how hot that is omlll 😳) but yeah anyway, TW: knife kink, degrading

You woke up to the slam of your front door, causing your body to jolt upright. Looking around the room, you see the silhouette of your boyfriend. You shuffle with the blanket in your lap as you yawn.

“Hey, baby,” your voice still scratchy from your prolonged nap, “how was school today?”

You can feel the anger radiate off of him as he grumbled to himself, trying to loosen his tie. It has been a rough week for Kyoya. Though, you didn’t know what was going on, you had a feeling it wasn’t anything he normally handles at school. He didn’t answer, so you didn’t push the issue. When he finally got his tie undone, he glanced at you before heading towards the stairs.

“Upstairs. Now. I don’t wait.”

And with that, his footsteps echoed upstairs and you hear the door shut. You knew exactly what that meant: he was going to have his way with you tonight, whether you liked it or not. And you were gonna like it.

You made your way upstairs as you prepared yourself for what Kyoya was going to do to you. He had always been stern, but secretly soft. But there were some times where you didn’t know if you could even stand up, let alone walk. You had a feeling it was going to be one of these nights.

Normally for a night like this, you would make sure that you have on something strappy, black, and little. However, after a long day at home, you feel the need to at least change into a matching set. Kyoya has made it clear there’s not even time for that though so you stick with your floral Victoria Secret thong and no bra.

The door creaks open as your right foot peaks in, your whole body enters the door.

“Kyoya?”

You suddenly felt yourself push against the door, closing it. As your head tilts up, your eyes come into contact with Kyoya, his left arm was leaning against the door. Your faces just inches apart. Your breathing hitched as your eyes darted to the sharp knife in his hand. The sleek black design along the ridges on the blade caught your attention first. It was easily meant for tearing the flesh.

He gave you a smile before slowly putting the blade against your throat.

“You see, there’s been some rumors flying around that we have a little thing, and the club is not happy with me,” he pauses before moving the tip of the knife to your chin, tilting your head up slowly.

He smirked.

“We can’t have that, can we?”

You subtly shake your head, careful to not slit any skin.

“That’s what I thought,” the blade moves back to your throat, “so tonight, you’re gonna be a good girl for me or this knife is going to slit across your throat. Do I make myself clear?”

His breath was hot against your skin. A blush  rises on your cheeks and you swear you feel the hot flashes all over again. Who knew he could be this... demanding yet so hot?

You barely managed to let out a “Yes, sir,” before he pounced on you. His lips meet yours in a passionate kiss, his hand firmly gripped on the knife against your throat. His other hand playing with the waistband of your pants. His tongue swiped across your bottom lip in hopes to gain entrance, which you gave him. Your hands made their way under his pants, and grabbed his cock, hardening at your touch. He roughly pulled away from the kiss before he started on your neck, giving you a chance to prep. You spit into your hand and work your magic. His grunts of pleasure only motivated you to double your efforts. You gasped as you felt a nip at your neck before Kyoya’s saliva quickly soothed the pain. He repeated the motion a couple of times before he suddenly pulled away.

You felt the blade push slightly against your throat.

“Now, get on your knees like the good little slut you are.”

You did as he said and started to pull his dress pants and boxers down, his fully-hard cock sprung free. You blushed slightly. You never got used to the fact he was so big. With that, you look into his eyes as you began placing kittenish licks up his shaft. His breathing halted and his left hand made its way into your hair, gripping softly. The knife resting at his side, as your tongue swirled around the tip, pretty little moans and grunts coming from his lips. It only encouraged you to break into a sweat, taking him into your mouth and bobbing your head up and down slowly. Your eyes meet with his lustful face. His head tilted back, eyes closed, and mouth slightly open.  Deciding to use this moment to your advantage, you slowly stand up. Your hand carelessly, yet so gently pushes Kyoya against the bed, as you now straddle him. You lean to kiss him, not noticing the smirk that rested on his face. Suddenly, you felt yourself being flipped onto your back, and the knife clear in your view.

“Not so fast, pretty girl,” he chimed. “You know what happens when you don’t behave.”

At which point, you felt the blade push deeper into your throat, a quiet and breathy moan broke loose from your lips. His low chuckle was like music to your ears, your panties already soaked at the thought of what he was going to do to you. He seemed to pick up on this as he reached under the bed, pulling out a set of ropes. The mischievous look was etched on his face as he bounded your wrists against the bedpost. The anticipation was killing you. You wiggled your needy clit against your thighs, desperate for some and any kind of friction. The whimper that escaped your lips was suddenly cut off by a burning sensation lingering on your wrists.

“Too tight,” you muttered softly, looking up to the grin smeared across his face. His hands made their way to part your legs slightly, and his thumb nearing your inner thigh.

“I know,” his thumb slipped under your panties, landing on your clit as he began to run slow circles against it. His touch alone already made your stomach build up those familiar knots you have felt many times before. His quickened his movements, earning him a low moan. Your toes started to curl before the sudden loss of pleasure overtook you as Kyoya pulled his hand away.

He looked at his finger, visibly covered in your liquid.

“So wet for me already, aren’t you, love?”

You nodded quickly, anxiously waiting for him to continue. He smiled before bending down so his face lined up with your pussy.

“You want me to help you? Even after all this trouble you caused me today? Do you even think a bratty little bitch like you deserves it?”

His tongue licked a stripe up your pussy slowly, sending a shiver down your spine. The words “No, sir,” barely uttered out of your mouth before he repeated the action.

“That’s right. Now you’re going to be a good girl and keep quiet, understand?”

You hummed in response before his finger ran along your slit, and pushed inside of you, pumping in and out. His mouth and tongue quickly worked on your clit, swirling and sucking on the bud with such intensity, you don’t know if you could hold it in. Juices threatening to spill at any second, his other hand kept him steady on your thigh. Your whimpers and moans grew slightly louder before he was now hovering above you.

“I said keep quiet.”

You swear you almost saw the gleam in his eye before you whispered: “Make me.”

He did, in fact, as his left hand was now wrapped around your throat, and gave it a light squeeze. The newfound pressure forcing you to arch your back, making his erect cock graze against your core, almost as though he were teasing you. At this point, your patience was wearing thin, and he knew exactly what he was doing to you.

“You like that, you needy whore? You want my cock inside you? Tell me.”

You struggled to get your words out as the tip of his cock pressed against you, as he moved slightly up against your clit. You whimpered against his touch.

“P-please...”

“Please what, babygirl? Use your words.”

His cock now lined up to your entrance as he lightly squeezed your throat again, his other hand reaching for the blade inches away from you.

“F-Fuck me so hard I c-can’t walk, sir! P-Please!” You begged him, instantly fueling the fire inside of him. With that, his cock that was previously teasing your entrance a few moments ago plunged into you.

The breath was pushed out of your lungs from the force of his thrust. You couldn’t help but moan.

“Now, now, darling. I need you to be quiet for me. Can you do that?”

You nodded shakily.

A rough thrust that hit your g-spot broke that promise. A loud shrill escaped your lips.

You didn’t even register him moving, as you were caught up in your pleasure, so when the knife was pressed to your throat you gave a sudden jolt.

“What did I say?” He questioned with a teasing  lilt to his voice. You could feel his cock twitching inside you as he quickened the pace. He was close and you knew it. Deciding to use that to your advantage, your eyes rolled back into your head as another thrust to your g-spot caused you to let out a loud moan.

“I.. just can’t.. be quiet when you make me feel this good, daddy.”

His thrusts suddenly became faster, grunts and groans flying out of his mouth as each thrust hit your core. His grip tightened around the blade and pressed against your throat to suppress your moan.

“I-I’m close, Kyoya,” you panted.

“That’s what I was intending, babygirl,” he joked as you felt his cock twitch inside of you again.

As you both were near your orgasms, you sped up your motions, your moans escaping your lips was easy encouragement for Kyoya. He let out a low groan as you felt the hot rush of come fill you up, not long after your orgasm arrives, and your juices rush out and onto his shaft.

With that, he collapsed on top of you, and you held him close as you both tried to get your breathing in check. The sound of your heartbeat echoed in his ear before he looked up at you as if you were made of glass.

“You okay, love? Did I hurt you at all?”

You smiled softly. You loved the sweet side Kyoya has, though he barely showed it. Especially after how it contrasts to how rough and demanding he is.

Your legs slightly shaking as the aftershock settled in, you shook your head as a reply.

“Oh no, you did quite the opposite.”

-Admin Maddie

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Shaw’s Creative Date

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 创意之约, which has not been released in EN! 🍒

This date features S2 Shaw, but contains no spoilers for S2!

[ This date was released on 13 May 2021 ]

Removing the VR headset, I rub my slightly sore eyes. Seeing the familiar modern furniture leaves me in a momentary trance.

MC: I finally cleared it - this game about the ancient times is pretty immersive.

Aside from completing missions, the game also has a rich plot written in a classical literary style. As a “workshop apprentice”, I successfully created a string of wood carved persimmons.

Rotating my aching wrists, it’s as though the sensation of carving products is still lingering on my hands.

MC: It’s a shame that I could only do that in the game...

Just when I’m about to continue grumbling, my phone suddenly rings.

Tapping the answer button, a familiar voice drifts lazily to my ear.

Shaw: Not a sound from you even during the weekend. What are you up to?

MC: I just played an immersive game, and it’s pretty fun.

At the other end of the line, Shaw makes an “oh” sound, then continues asking.

Shaw: Are you planning to stay at home today?

MC: Mm. I finally finished a big program, so I’m pretty comfortable playing games at home.

Hearing my response, Shaw’s tone lifts slightly at the end.

Shaw: It’s just a game. You can play it anytime, can’t you? The weather outside is great. Staying at home is such a waste. Why not take a stroll outside?

My gaze sweeps over the VR headset. While I’m hesitating whether or not to agree, a thought suddenly flashes across my mind, and I have an idea. 

MC: Shaw, why don't you accompany me somewhere?

Shaw pauses for a moment, his subtle breathing drifting over the phone along with the electric currents.

Shaw: Where do you want to go?

MC: I’ll keep it a secret first. You’ll know when you get there. It’s definitely a place you wouldn’t expect.

Shaw chuckles softly, and he seems to stretch.

Shaw: All right. Since you invited me with such magnificent hospitality, I’ll reluctantly keep you company.

-

Soon after, the both of us stand at the entrance of a wood carving studio. Shaw tilts his head, looking me up and down.

Shaw: You sure we’re not at the wrong place?

I nod my head.

MC: How is it? I already said you definitely wouldn’t expect it. 

Shaw arches his brows, a somewhat surprised expression in his eyes.

Shaw: When did you get a new hobby?

Not giving Shaw a direct response, I lift my hand, raising my phone to his face. The picture on the screen features the string of wood carved persimmons I made in the game.

MC: Look at this string of persimmons. I carved it bit by bit in the game. Looks good, doesn’t it? I plan to carve a replica based on this later.

Shaw leans closer to give it a sweeping glance, his expression a little subtle.

Shaw: ...the object in the picture isn’t too bad. But do you like it that much that you must carve a string of persimmons?

MC: Don’t underestimate this small string of persimmons. Slow work yields fine products. The smaller something is, the more patience and carving skills are tested. Also, this is the first wood carving I made in the game. Furthermore, “everything will go according to one’s wishes” is a wonderful message and well-wish. Making it myself will feel very meaningful.

[Note] For the translation of “everything will go according to one’s wishes”, What MC says is “柿柿如意”, which is a pun based on the popular well-wish “事事如意” (“everything will go according to one’s wishes”)

“Persimmon” is 柿 (“shi”). “Everything” is 事事 (“shi shi”)

Shaw: But based on the level of complexity, you can’t make it without having a foundation in carving.

Predicting that Shaw would say this, I make a fist, lifting my head up confidently. 

MC: Don’t underestimate me. I think I’m naturally talented in handwork. If I can make it in the game, I might be able to in reality.

Hearing my “lofty aspirations”, the corners of Shaw’s lips hook upwards, and he elongates the tail of his sentence coolly.

Shaw: Fine, I’ll wait and see. 

-

Probably because it’s the lunch break, only the boss is in the shop.

After telling the boss my purpose in coming, he very quickly prepares the wooden block and burin, then comprehensively explains some matters I should take note of.

[Trivia] A burin (刻刀 - “ke dao”)  is a handheld steel tool used for carving metal or wood

MC: Draw a design first, then trace a copy onto the wooden block, then...

Hearing me mumble to myself, Shaw can’t help but arch his brows.

Shaw: It’s no use simply memorising the steps. You’ve got to get started to get the feel of it. 

...that make sense.

Very soon, I successfully draw a design based on the picture. However, I keep sensing that something’s missing when I look at the picture of the string of persimmons in my hand.

Darting a glance at Shaw, who occasionally looks at the drawing paper in my hand, I turn my body to the side, displaying the drawing paper in front of him.

MC: Shaw, didn’t you brag about being the “best in hand-drawn sketches” in your department? Want to take a look and make adjustments for me?

[Note] For those who are unaware, Shaw is the only graduate student in the archaeological department of Loveland University, so... of course he’s the best in everything LOL

Shaw’s brows arch slightly. Grabbing a pen on the table casually, he starts making amendments quickly.

Shaw: Done.

Unexpectedly, with just a few strokes, the fullness and lushness of the persimmons are outlined, and the entire picture instantly becomes much more vibrant.

Once all the preparatory work is done, the next step is to saw the sides of the wood carving. Placing the wooden block on the machine, I test out suitable positions.

All of a sudden, Shaw presses on my hand.

Shaw: Didn’t the boss mention that it’d be safer to place it a little beyond the peripheral line?

While saying this, he pulls on my wrist, causing the wooden block to shift to the side slightly. After verifying that it’s in the right place, he releases my hand.

Wood carving in real life is much more difficult than I imagined. The more I tell myself to be calm, the more my hands refuse to obey.

I take a deep breath - 

Shaw: Tch, aren’t you going a little too fast?

Right after he finishes speaking, my hand suddenly trembles, and I saw a small hole into the wooden block.

Shaw pauses for a few seconds, then bursts into laughter mercilessly.

He leans over, pointing at the small hole, his eyes gloating over my misfortune.

Shaw: Heh. Did someone take a bite out of the persimmon? It’s actually pretty creative.

Faced with Shaw’s mockery, I pout without saying anything. Then, I mimic his usual tone and glare at him.

MC: Why are you laughing so loudly? My hearing is good, okay.

Shaw casually props himself on the table with his elbows. He turns his head to the side and watches me, eyes filled with interest and a smile.

Perhaps because we’re too close in proximity, I seem to feel his warmth encasing my surroundings.

Smelling the scent of peppermint at the tip of my nose, I subconsciously turn away, muttering softly.

MC: Stop crowding over here... it’s a little warm.

The corners of Shaw’s eyes lift upwards slightly, and he sweeps a gaze over my face. He chuckles, sitting down on the chair behind in a wilful manner.

Not long after, I painstakingly saw the overall outer shape of the wooden block. After that, I start using a chisel to carefully craft the outline and thickness.

Probably because I’m unfamiliar with the techniques, the thickness of both sides of the wood carving are very different despite me putting in a lot of effort into correcting it.

I steal a glance at Shaw who is behind. After some hesitation, I clear my throat.

MC: Erm, could you help me with a little something?

Shaw loosens his shoulders.

Shaw: You want my help?

MC: Since you look like you don't have much to do, why not adjust the thickness of the outline with me?

Shaw doesn’t respond immediately. He folds his arms and leans against the wall, both legs placed casually.

Beneath the sunlight of the scorching afternoon sun, the corners of his lips tilt upwards, revealing a mischievous smile.

Shaw: Someone made a solemn vow earlier that she could do it by herself. So, in order for you to experience this fully, I refuse.

I don’t even spare Shaw half a glance after this, heart sinking as I lower my head in silence, focusing on the wood carving alone.

Perhaps grasping some tricks, my actions are gradually much more proficient than before, despite slow improvement.

The doors to the shop are suddenly pushed open. A parent walks in with a little boy.

The boss greets the new customers. Shaw suddenly lifts his arm and waves, walking over to the boss.

Shaw: Boss, give me a burin too.

Thinking that Shaw was suddenly “pricked by his conscience” and is planning to help, I lift my head to look at him in anticipation.

Unexpectedly, after getting the burin, Shaw picks up the leftover linden wood that I had sawed off earlier.

He stands near the window, lifting his hand leisurely. Against the light, that head of bluish purple hair is even more eye-catching.

Shaw: It’s boring to wait. I’ll try it with you, and give you some competitive motivation.

He reveals a confident smile, his tone not at all humble.

Shaw: I’ll also show you what it means to be “naturally talented”.

Shaw deliberately sits down at a table that’s further away from me.

Seeing that my gaze continues to linger on him, Shaw lifts his eyes, asking teasingly.

Shaw: Why are you staring at me?

MC: ...you already know the answer. Also, you’re pretending to be mysterious. What exactly do you plan to carve?

Shaw: You want to know? All the more reason not to tell you.

With this, he lowers his head, the tip of the pen making rustling sounds. He’s likely drawing a design on the rough paper.

Pursing my lips with a “hmph”, I decide to throw myself into crafting the wood carving.

Just as I strive to painstakingly carve the appearance of the wood carving, the little boy who accompanied his parent here seems to be restless.

He runs around the shop, and finally scuttles to Shaw’s side.

Little Boy: Big Bro, your hair’s really cool!

Shaw releases a “hmph”, paying no attention to the boy. But the little boy is fearless, and continues curiously.

Little Boy: Big Bro, what are you carving?

Unintentionally hearing this, I hurriedly perk up my ears, turning my body towards Shaw secretly.

Shaw glances at the boy from the side, placing the prototype wood carving on the table and leaning it from side to side.

Shaw: Make a guess.

The boy stares at it for a while, then exclaims excitedly.

Little Boy: I see it now - it’s a fish! Big Bro, did I guess correctly?

Shaw doesn’t deny it, revealing an expression which says “you’re pretty knowledgeable”.

Shaw: [aww he sounds so affectionate] Little Imp, your eyesight isn’t bad.

Little Boy: But why do you want to carve a fish?

The boy doesn’t seem to understand, and is also slightly disdainful.

Little Boy: Fishes are so unimpressive. If it were me, I’d carve a big tiger. It’s the king of all creatures, and it’s so impressive!

While the boy speaks, he chuckles in satisfaction.

Shaw laughs, then purses his lips.

Shaw: A wooden carved fish is much more interesting than your big tiger.

The boy has an expression on his face which reads “nonsense”. Shaw casts a sidelong glance at him, scoffing softly.

Shaw: Forget it. You wouldn't understand even if I told you.

Little Boy: Who says I wouldn’t understand? I’ve already learnt many things!

The boy grumbles in dissatisfaction, his arms akimbo, pestering Shaw unflinchingly.

I try my best to control the smile at the corners of my lips, and suddenly have an idea. Clearing my throat, I pretend to be a bystander, inserting myself into the conversation.

MC: What this little boy said is correct. Young man, you can’t look down on others just because you’re older by a few years.

Little Boy: Hmph! That’s right!

My “encouragement” enables the boy to be even less willing to back down, and he purses his small mouth.

Shaw: Oh?

Hearing my response, Shaw lifts his eyes, a mischievous smile curling the corners of his lips upwards.

Shaw: What is it? You also want to know?

MC: Since you started it, it’s only right for you to talk about it more.

Shaw: Since the both of you are pretty eager to learn, I’ll broaden your knowledge.

-

Next to the window, the rays of light are bright. Shaw arches his brows wilfully.

Shaw: To put it simply, this is related to the history of “fish culture”. Since ancient times, fish have represented auspicious signs and well-wishes.

Little Boy: I know about this! Is this how people wish each other “may you have abundance year after year”? I heard my teacher mentioning it before. It’s because “鱼” and “余” are homophonic!

[Note] The well-wish the boy is referring to is “年年有鱼”, which is a pun based on the proper saying “年年有余”

“Fish” is 鱼 (“yu”), while 余 (also “yu”) means abundance

Shaw: In that case, your teacher only told you half of it.

Shaw fiddles with the burin in his hand, spinning it casually.

Shaw: Fishes are an embodiment of luck. Patterns of fish can often be seen on antiques.

MC: What’s the origin of wooden carved fishes then?

Shaw pauses for a second before responding.

Shaw: Over seven thousand years ago, the most ancient wooden carved fishes were in the Hemudu culture. Based on conjectures, they were likely used for praying and well-wishes.

[Trivia] The Hemudu culture was a Neolithic culture spanning from 5500 BC to 3300 BC, located south of the Hangzhou Bay in Jiangnan in Zhejiang, China

Shaw speaks indifferently, but the boy listens at the side, his eyes wide.

Little Boy: Big Bro, you really know a lot! You’re even more incredible than my teacher!

The corners of Shaw’s lips hook upwards with pride.

Shaw: I guess so. Little Imp, remember to read more books and learn properly.

The boy runs away contentedly. My gaze lands on the wooden carving in Shaw’s hand that I can’t see quite clearly yet.

I didn’t expect the wooden carved fish to have the same symbolism as the string of persimmons. I tilt my head, feeling slightly emotional.

Time flows by as the seconds and minutes pass. Before realising it, the sky dims, and the studio lights are bright.

Swinging my hands which have almost lost all physical strength, I release a long sigh.

At the other side of the table, Shaw lifts his chin towards me.

Shaw: Progress isn’t going smoothly? 

Looking at the half-finished product with uneven contours next to my hand, I shake my head a little despondently. 

MC: Looks like I won’t be able to finish it today, and would have to come back next time. Also, the actual wood carving is light-years away from what I expected...

Hearing my soft grumbling at the end, Shaw arches his brows.

Shaw: Just by looking at it, the string of persimmons isn’t easy to make. But you dug this pit yourself, so I’ll wait and watch you fill it up.

Ignoring the teasing tone in his voice, I purse my lips.

MC: I definitely won’t give up. What about you? Are you done with the carving?

Shaw has an expression which reads “of course”, and he nods unhesitatingly.

Shaw: It was done a long time ago.

I’m stunned for a moment, both surprised and curious.

One hand supports Shaw’s cheek lightly. With a stretch of his long arm, the wooden carved fish is brought before my eyes.

This is a bright coloured wood carving of a fish. It has a roundish head and a chubby belly, and looks extremely adorable.

I lift up the wooden fish sculpture with both hands, as though instantly struck by its adorable shape.

Shaw: Excellent workmanship with profound symbolism. Your goal has been overtaken by me.

Behind the table, Shaw arches his brows in satisfaction, casually twisting the burin, his pose utterly flamboyant.

Even though his carving is indeed not bad, the moment I lift my eyes and see Shaw’s insuppressible pride, I can’t help but remain silent.

With the sudden impulse to sing a different tune, I deliberately purse my lips, speaking calmly.

MC: It’s just like this I guess. In terms of exquisiteness, I’d give a passing mark at most.

The smile on Shaw’s lips retracts slightly. While looking at me from the side, he releases a “hmph” from his nose.

Shaw: You have the nerve to criticise me? Why don’t you look at your own standard. Also, this is my exclusive design. It’s much more creative than you making a duplicate from the game.

Hearing the unwillingness to back down hidden in his tone, I can’t help but smile secretly.

Shaw glances at me indifferently. He seems to catch the secret smile on my lips, and an indiscernible light flashes across his eyes.

Shaw: Hey, shouldn’t you return it to me after touching it for half a day? You don’t like it anyway.

MC: Who says-

Almost making a slip of the tongue, I hurriedly change my words.

MC: Actually, on closer inspection, it seems that your carving is pretty okay.

Shaw: Just “okay”?

MC: ...I’ll add one mark for its symbolism and origin then.

Pleased with this, Shaw rolls his shoulders, chuckling softly.

Shaw: You still have some taste.

He crosses his leg over the other, his eyebrows suddenly furrowing. He seems to blurt out what’s in his mind.

Shaw: But the head of this fish seems a little too round... Hm, it’s a little irksome. Looks like I need to make some corrections.

MC: No it isn’t? It looks just right like this!

Afraid that Shaw would snatch it back, I hurriedly fold my hands over the wooden carving, and notice a hint of slyness in his eyes.

He leans closer abruptly, instantly closing the distance between us.

Shaw: Looking at your posture... What is it? Can’t bear to return it?

Specks of bright light reminiscent of daytime dance on Shaw’s bluish purple hair, outlining his expression and making it look even more triumphant.

I blink my eyes.

MC: Since you’re already done, I think I should observe it for a while longer, and have some “luck” rubbed off on me. I might even be able to quickly and successfully finish my wood carving too.

Shaw turns his head, the corners of his lips turning upwards relaxedly. A pondering smile surfaces in his bright eyes.

Shaw: You’ve got taste. If you really like it, it’s not that I can’t��give it to you.

My heart stirs, eyes widening as I look at him. But I have the feeling that there should be a second half to his sentence.

Shaw leans back relaxedly, stretching casually.

Shaw: But I need to make up for the costs.

...just as I guessed.

Cradling the wooden carving in my hand, I lift my chin towards Shaw.

MC: Go on, what’s the “fee”?

Shaw lowers his head, pretending to deliberate for a few seconds. Then, he lifts his eyes, meeting mine.

Shaw: When you’re done with your wooden carving...

Shaw: It belongs to me. 

[Note] There are actually two ways one can interpret this line because it’s kept purposefully vague. It’s simply “归我”, which means “belong to me”. This means we can’t be sure if he’s asking for the wooden carving or MC herself :>

Shaw: How is it? Isn’t it very fair?

Light falls on the tips of Shaw’s hair, reflecting a bright and sly smile in his eyes.

Before I can react, he has already stood up.

Shaw: All right, that’s how it’d be.

🐟 Phone call: here

🐟 Support the cafe by dropping by the tip jar!

[catxsnow]

REPLACED part two

Summary: Part 2 to replaced. It was Damian’s time to train you, this time you were ready

Warning: mentions of blood, canon violence, Bruce being an ass 

A/N: Had this requested a few times lol. Here it is! Also I’m rewatching The Witcher and 🥵🥵

Part one

Word Count: 2.3k

"Again."

Sweat dripped down your body and you were heaving for breath. The cold training room now emanated with heat just from your movements. It had to have been hours that you were down there, working until you had perfected your motions. Hours of blood, sweat, and tears, but that wasn't going to make you stop.

You rested on your hands and knees, trying to catch your breath. Today had been harder than the rest, you had been pushed far past your limits. Frustrated tears gathered in your eyes from not being able to get this down packed. Again and again you failed miserably - just like you had for years before.

"Again!" Damian repeated louder. He stood over you with his arms crossed and a nonchalant stance. Sparring with him was terrible. You never won and he never held back. You would leave the training room with bruises and cuts every time. He was ruthless, just as he was trained to be when he was a child.

Damian had taken you up on your offer to train you. Unfortunately, he only knew one way to do it. Damian wasn't patient like Dick, he was frustrated the second that you fell to the mat. He didn't worry about you or your feelings like Tim did. The only thing that he did do, was teach your more than Bruce ever had.

Your hands clenched into fists at his anger towards you. You swore that the only reason that Damian kept this up was because he liked to win so often. In your months of working together, he never seemed to gain any more like towards you. Not that you were surprised about it, his heart was cold.

Every muscle in your body screamed at you not to get back up and fight. You needed rest from this. It drained you more and more every day but if that meant that you would get to go out on patrol, to prove everyone wrong, it was worth it. You had improved so much with Damian's help.

"Get. Up!" Damian yelled.

"I can't," you finally whispered. Your voice was broken. Damian had barely heard what you had said. He dropped his sword onto the mat beside. Instead of walking off like you had expected him to, Damian grabbed the collar of your shirt and heaved you up to his eye level. You were startled by the movement.

"You get up or you get out," Damian threatened. His eyes were narrowed as he waited for your response. He wasn't going to waste anymore time if you weren't willing to put in the effort needed. He had spent years being pushed by his grandfather, his skills didn't just come naturally.

Damian was letting you off easy with his version of training. Had it been his mother instead? You would never have made it past the first day. He was stern, but he would never treat you as he was treated. No one deserved that.

You had no response. Getting back up seemed impossible to you. Defeating him seemed impossible. Damian scoffed at you lack of motivation. He dropped the collar of your shirt, letting you fall back to the ground. The echo of his footsteps walking away rang through your ears.

Just another person giving up on me.

No. No, you had come way too far for someone else to give up on you. You needed to do this, not for everyone, but for yourself. Proving that you could do this is the one thing that you always thrived for. Giving up couldn't be an option anymore. This was your time to become who you were always meant to be.

Damian paused as he heard the clank of his sword being picked up. You stood tall and proud, the heavy metal tight in your grip. Damian turned back to face you, a smirk on his lips as he saw you wipe away the blood from your busted lip. As long as you weren't going to give up on yourself, he wasn't going to give up on you.

"Again," you parroted his words. It was the first time that you held his weapon. For some reason, it felt at home in your palms. Maybe you had been taking this whole training from the wrong perspective. You were always trying to be like Bruce, and even Dick. Maybe if you were going to be trained by Damian, you needed to use the same kind of weapon as him.

Just from mimicking the moves that you had seen him do time after time, you had moved so much more effortlessly. It seemed almost natural to swing the great blade around, like you had been doing it for years.

Damian ruthlessly attacked you, giving you everything that he had left in his system. For once, you had been able to hold you ground. You felt confident in what you were doing - both on offense and defense. Damian was shocked by your sudden skill - he hadn't even considered that you wished to use a weapon like his.

Damian had jumped up to get a higher angle against you. It was as if every gear turning in your body had been perfectly in sync - you knew exactly what you needed to do. Just as Damian was mid-air, you had landed a perfect kick right into his abdomen. It had caught him so off guard that he didn't have time to catch himself before hitting the mat.

You stood above him, the tip of his own blade pressed lightly against his skin. After months of training, you had finally taken him down. You removed the sword, spinning it around in your hand before offering him help up. Damian accepted it, along with his weapon that you handed over.

His usually angered scowl was replaced with a prideful smile. It was the first time he had looked at you like this. You had genuinely taken him down without going easy on you. Damian was impressed, which didn't happen very often.

"You did good, (L/N)," he congratulated you. Of course you still had a long way to go, but if you continued to progress at this speed - you would be just as good as everyone else. "I believe it's time to test the new suit."

Your eyes widened in shock. With Damian taking your place as Robin, you had to create a completely different persona. This one, suited you far more than Robin ever would have. You hadn't gotten the chance to go out to the streets to use it, Damian still deemed you unready. Until now.

Bruce was out of the city that week - it would be just the two of you out there. For some god forsaken reason, it didn't scare you anymore. Being by Damian's side out there excited you.

"I'm ready."

><

The smile on your face wouldn't disappear.

After coming back from patrol you had been ecstatic about it. The night had gone perfectly smooth. Snobbish criminals were out and about - the perfect candidate for your first night out. Damian would watch from above, ready to swoop in if you ever needed help. There was only once where you had been far too out numbered.

A couple bruises here and there but nothing that was going to slow you down. You would have been out until dawn if he would have let you. Being out there, saving people, it made you feel alive. There was nothing more that you wanted than to go back out. Saving people, it was a whole thrill you didn't realize you were missing out on.

Damian could see how happy you were to be out there. When under Bruce's training you had gone out a few times here and there, but each time you were to stand by, never to dive in unless necessary. Damian had let you take the lead all night, it was a learning curve that you needed to accomplish.

Even getting back to the cave, you were still vibrating with excitement. As soon as you hoped off your motorcycle, you had flipped all around the cave. Damian only watched you - even though you were several years older than he was, it felt as if he was the adult. This whole time training you it felt as if he was older.

"That was incredible, Damian!" You grinned, stopping in front of him. The high of your night wasn't going away any time soon. It had gone well tonight, but Damian dreaded to see you after the hard nights. The nights that you couldn't save everyone. He suddenly felt protective of you, not wanting you to see how cruel it really was out there.

"What the hell were you thinking?" A sudden voice bombed through the cave. You and Damian were on high alert, weapons raised as to who was angered at you. Bruce stood at the entrance of the cave, his suit on and cowl lowered. You could see the scowl on his lips and feel the anger that radiated off of him.

He must have come back early from his trip. Bruce came home to an empty cave with both your suits out of their cases. He had known about your training with Damian, your sudden rebellion against him. He never imagined that Damian would be so reckless to take you out on the streets without him.

When he noticed the matching swords in your hands, he had only gotten more angered. Bruce hated Damian's choice of weapon - it was deadly and if used incorrectly could do more damage than it was worth. To have you pick up on his bad choices as well? It had enraged him. In the short time that he was gone, it seemed like you had betrayed him more than ever.

"Father-" Damian tried to explain.

"(Y/N) could have been killed because of this reckless behavior! Innocent people could have been killed!" Bruce shouted. He stormed towards the two of you. Whatever mission he was on must have gone bad, he was angrier than usual. "They're not ready! You had no right to lead a patrol without me knowing like that! It was irresponsible and-"

"Enough!" You yelled. You were tired of Bruce treating you like a little kid still. It was like he still saw you as that weak child that showed up to his home. You had grown, far more than ever in these few months. Bruce couldn't accept that you were old enough to realize what you could handle and what you couldn't.

Bruce and Damian looked over at you in shock at your sudden outburst. Ever since that fight with Bruce in the library, you had been giving him the cold shoulder. This was the first time that you had outburst to him in a long time.

"Damian's trained me better than you ever have Bruce," you narrowed your eyes at him. Damian noticed as you stepped between him and his father, as if you were protecting him. "You just don't want to accept that your son is better than you will ever be! I'm ready to be out there! I'm ready and you just can't fucking admit that it wasn't you who got me here."

"Dick, Jason, Steph, they were all right about you," You continued. "You raised kids as weapons, and as soon as they defy you, you can't handle it. Everyone left you, Bruce! Can't you see the pattern! It isn't because they're grown, it's because you're too fucking stubborn to see things any other way."

You scoffed at him and his ridiculous anger for thinking that he still had control over what you could and couldn't do. Damian watched as you stalked away from the both of them, slamming into Bruce's shoulder as you passed. Just like the rest of the kids that he had taken in, it was your time to leave as well.

Even if you appreciated everything that Damian did for you, you couldn't stay in that house anymore. Having Bruce watch over you, waiting for you to make one mistake so he could revoke your privileges, you couldn't handle it anymore. Bruce was the one holding you back for years, now that you were liberated, you weren't going to let it continue.

"(L/N)," Damian called out for you. He was jogging to catch up, leaving his father in the cave to ponder your words. It wasn't time for him to leave his father, not yet, but he understood where you were coming from. Bruce was the one to hold you back, you needed to be free of his reign to grow even more.

You paused for Damian, wondering what he had to say to you. You wished him to join you, the two of you could become your own dynamic duo. Damian would do better with you then he ever would with Bruce. Even if you had much to learn from him, he too had so much to gain from you.

"I just wanted to say," he awkwardly coughed before finishing. "I'm proud of you. For learning, adapting, for standing up for yourself. Whenever you wish to train more, I would feel honoured to help. I wish you the best of luck."

"Don't worry, Dames. I could never replace you."

[morkleemelon]

off the ice || chapter 2: heading in

previous || m.list || playlist || next

pairing:  college hockey player! mark x college figure skater! reader

genre: fluff, humor, sports au, college au

warnings: swearing

word count: 7k

copyright morkleemelon all rights reserved

"And we can see here in the figure that the data currently suggests-"

Your pen flies across the notebook page, desperately trying to capture everything your economics professor said in multicolor vigor. Jotting down the figure frantically, your eyes dart back and forth between the powerpoint screen and your paper, high ponytail bouncing up and down from the motion.

Being on scholarship means that you can never let your grades fall past a certain point or else they'd give the money to someone else. As harsh as it is, without the financial aid, you would not be able to continue to go to school. One of the only things that motivates you to work harder than your sleeping peers, sometimes, is the looming fear of becoming a jobless dropout, never able to achieve your dreams. 

In a lot of ways, not having money is already bad enough, but the thought of not even being able to earn it in the future is even worse.

"Does anyone know how this company should manage production costs?," your professor asks the crowd of tired students.

You immediately shoot your hand in the air. You know it. This answer was in the textbook reading last night it's-

"Yes" Your professor points behind you.

You slowly set your hand down, disappointed, turning around to see who could've raised their hand before you did.

"They should modernize their marketing efforts with more affordable tools and focus on reducing supply costs," the boy answers expertly.

That's exactly what I was going to say.

Examining his face a little more, something about him seems a little familiar, but you can't quite put your finger on it. Looking around at who he was sitting with, you begin to piece it together.

"He must be one of the Lee's if he's sitting between Ten and Jeno" you ponder to yourself, taking one final look at the boy, "is he... Haechan?". Thinking back to last spring, one of your teammates had a huge crush on the one called 'Haechan'. She always gushed about his fluffy brown hair, handsome face, and how he asked to borrow her biology notes once. You weren't exactly well versed with the university's popular people and honestly, the fact that this school has an 'F4' called "the Lees" is pretty funny to you.

This boy's hair is blonde, though, brushed down into a fringe and slightly messy from, you're assuming, taking off the hood of his sweatshirt before class. Glancing down, you take notice of the mess of white bandages wrapped around his knuckles.

Right, they just had a hockey game. He doesn't have brown hair so this must be-

"That's exactly right, Mark. Nicely done" the professor praises.

Mark. You note the name to yourself, turning back to the board as the professor continues with the lecture.

"Dude she's looking at you," Ten whisper-yells to his younger friend, nudging him sharply in the ribs.

Mark doesn't dare look down at you yet, already feeling his cheeks grow warmer with each passing second. He feels your gaze pull away from him and finally frees the breath he was previously holding captive. Shoving back at the senior boy, his gaze flutters back to you like it usually does during this class, however much to his strong denial. 

You always sit in the first row, colored pens and highlighters arranged neatly upon your favorite desk. 

Mark watches the way your hair bobs back and forth as you move your head with keen eyes. The delicate gold glint of a necklace clasp at the nape of your neck fascinates the junior boy's attention more than the mundane lecture ever could.

Spotting the slight smile on the older boy's face and the direction of his gaze, Jeno laughs quietly to himself, happy that something interesting is finally happening during the boring lesson. Leaning over behind Mark's back, he gives Ten a silent high five.

"You're a simp" Jeno whispers in Mark's ear, eager to provoke him. Mark slaps the blue-haired boy's face away.

"Fuck off," Mark whispers harshly back as Jeno and Ten laugh to themselves in the lecture hall. He habitually glances back to your focused form. And this is nothing short of how class usually goes for them: Mark fawns over you 'secretly' whilst you haven't the slightest clue. On either side, his friends tease him endlessly for it.

"Yuna and I are planning something for you guys," Ten persists.

Mark's eyebrows scrunch in confusion at the older's ominous words. The professor's voice drones on in the background as his attention shifts to Ten.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't worry about it, man". Ten smirks, smacking a firm hand on the confused boy's shoulder.

"Don't do anything weird," Mark warns, recalling the time when the senior had planned on starting a fist fight outside of your dorm building last semester in hopes to gain your attention and provide an excuse for Mark to talk to you. Although the thought was there, no it wasn't.

The hour ticks by and exhausted students groan in relief as the professor wraps up the stale lesson on fundamental economics. A mass shuffle of notebook pages flipping closed and backpacks zipping up fills the hall as students make their way out, eager to do anything but be there.

The Lee's always gather for lunch at this time at the basketball courts, attracting an impressive crowd of envious guys and adoring girls at the sidelines. Although the place is fairly beaten down and otherwise unimpressive, the Lee's choose to be there which consequently deems the courts the coolest lunch spot on campus.

Putting his things away into his trusty black Jansport bag, Mark gets ready to head down to the courts to meet up with Haechan like they always do until he feels a hand unexpectedly grip his left shoulder, stopping him in his tracks.

"Some people are gonna join us for lunch today," Ten discloses casually, keeping his gaze forward as the line of students in front of them slowly file their way out of the crowded room.

"Oh, who?" Mark questions. It's not like it's rare for other people come hang out with them, in fact, it's almost always the case. But the fact that Ten is specifically telling him beforehand feels suspicious. Another strong hand grips his other shoulder as Jeno's navy blue hair comes into view.

"Don't worry about it man. You got meal points left for this week? Lend me some," the younger boy expertly diverts.

"Yeah..."

"Let's hurry though, Haechan is probably there waiting already. I told the brat to get food for us early today". Ten ushers Mark forward and pushes his way through the herd of people.

"Aight," Mark sighs in confused defeat, picking up his pace to keep up with the senior. There's definitely something weird going on, but he doesn't have the energy to pry further. 

Then again, has he ever lived a day where his friends aren't doing some sort of weird shit?

"Thank you, professor," you smile and bow politely.

"Thank you, y/n, enjoy the rest of your day," the older man smiles back, waving you off as he packs up his lecture notes. It's small things like this that you always make sure to do to make others' lives a little better.

After all, the best thing to give-better than any monetary gift- is kindness. Right?

Your phone buzzes in the back pocket of your frayed denim shorts and you reach to check the notification.

Der sum hoez in this houz:

Yuna: guys!! Let's grab lunch somewhere new today! :DD

Hope: yassss ;););)

You: oh why? The caf has chicken nuggets today :(

This is definitely suspicious -you, Yuna, and your other friends, Lisa and Hope, always ate together at the round table in the university's better dining hall nicknamed "the caf". It's been your unbroken tradition since freshman year and the lunch lady at the caf even likes you enough to give you extra servings sometimes.

Yuna: we can still have the nuggets but Ten knows a cool place we can sit! He says he already got the food so we don't have to pay today ;)

Free food?

Your inner Mr.Krabs reveals himself as you perk immediately at the mention of her boyfriend paying for lunch. Neither guilt nor modesty had time to catch up as your thumbs rush to type a speedy reply.

You: I'm there. Where at?

Yuna: I'm coming to your classroom rn! We can walk together

Lisa: Hope and I are coming from bio :) excited

You: lol why does everyone know but me

You: is it gonna be weird with us third wheeling you yuna?

You: if y'all start kissy kissy touchy touchy I might puke just saying

Yuna: HAHAHA XD

Yuna: don't worry some of ten's friends might be there too

Oh. To be honest, you're caught off guard at your best friend's last message. Ten has been over to your shared dorm a few times and you've exchanged enough awkward greetings to call him an acquaintance at least. But generally, his friend group and yours stay separate.

Not that there is any actual beef there, but, no pun intended, nobody's tried to break the ice yet.

Closing the group chat as you reach the entrance of the economics building, you hold a hand up to block the glaring rays of summer sun from your eyes. The sudden brightness harshly contrasts the musty dark of the lecture hall, making you squint in discomfort.

"Y/n!" a familiar voice calls out. A flash of platinum blonde hair and Chanel perfume filled your senses as Yuna throws your smaller body into a crushing, sweaty hug.

"EWw!" you yelp, shoving the taller girl away from you half-playfully, catching the attention of a few concerned passer-bys.

You nod your head at them in a shy apology.

Yuna, seriously.

The guilty party laughs, the musical sound travelling through the humid air like a refreshing breeze. Your best friend sticks out her elbow for you to link your arm through.

Eyeing her with short-lived contempt, your lips break into a smile as you slip your forearm around hers, unable to be actually mad at your best friend.

"Where are we going?" you ask.

"You'll see. It's Ten's spot"

"Hi-his spot?!" You stop in your tracks, wondering why you were going to eat where Ten dealt weed.

Since when did he deal weed though?

"Not that kind of spot!," Yuna cries out, smacking a manicured hand over the top of her forehead as to not ruin her perfect foundation, "he's not like that!".

"Right good," you scoff.

The summer heat swelters as Yuna leads you down campus towards the sports center. It's early September and Seoul is notoriously hot.

Ice cream vendors with big, striped umbrellas litter the streets, calling out for business from sweaty pedestrians who crave a moment of sweet, cold relief. The sky tints a beautiful shade of blue with fluffy wisps of white clouds dotting its never-ending canvas. No matter how hot the weather is, the day is undeniably beautiful.

You don't ask Yuna more about where you're headed, accepting that your best friend likes to be spontaneous and that her boyfriend was paying for your food. This is more than enough for you to follow her down the sketchy alleyway shortcut to the basketball courts. Sometimes you wonder if you'd be really easy to kidnap...

The alley opens up to reveal a worn-out basketball court planted in the middle of a grassy area. Looking around, you noticed there are quite a few people there, most of them unfamiliar to you.

They scatter across the grass in groups, eating and chatting casually amongst their friends atop their patterned picnic blankets. You catch the gaze of a group of girls sitting at the edge of the court; they eye you up and down, taking you aback with their lack of subtlety.

Breaking the awkward eye-contact, you suddenly feel very out of place.

"Hey!" Yuna calls out, slipping her arm out of yours to wave at a group of people sitting at the other side of the court from the judgmental girls.

Her hand slips into yours, snapping you out of your uncomfortable dilemma, pulling you towards the group she waved to. A big willow tree stretches towards the sky and casts a precious spot of shade over the area. Immediately, you spot Hope and Lisa as they wave to you and you let out a breath of relief.

At least I'm not alone, maybe I won't be so awkward now.

You recognize Ten's face and you give him a smile and nod of acknowledgement. Scanning over the rest of the group carefully, you faintly recognize the other boys sitting under the tree.

The boy with the blue hair and the fitted white tee- that's Jeno.

Fluffy brown hair-definitely Haechan.

Your eyes flit to the next boy and you're taken aback when he's already staring at you. His ashy blonde fringe hair, almost grey, seems dearly familiar. His eyes widen before quickly looking away.

He's part of the Lee's... bandaged hands and that hair- that's Mark, the dude who stole your answer from earlier.

The little devil on your shoulder whispers to hold a small grudge. The little angel on the other argues that it was never your question and you shouldn't be so petty. Right, kindness is the best virtue. You will let it go.

You and Yuna reach the edge of their picnic blanket and your best friend immediately goes to sit by Ten who doesn't hesitate to pull her hips smoothly into his lap.

You look away in embarrassment. Good for her for finding love, but by golly are you painfully single.

Eyeing the space on the picnic blanket, Hope and Lisa are almost strategically sitting at the end chatting with Jeno so there is no reasonable way you could sit next to them. Setting down your bag awkwardly, you debate where you should sit, silently cursing at Hope and Lisa for not leaving a space for you. Maybe coming here was a mistake because you feel kind of left out-

"Oh, here," a small voice lets out. You look up to see Mark getting up and moving his stuff out of the way and clearing a space for you next to him.

"Ah, thank you!" You smile, kneeling down to sit in the empty space.

Thank God.

Glancing at his face, a blush even Maybelline would envy rests on his cheeks as his gaze remains glued to the food in his hands.

The first thing you notice is how handsome he is up close. You didn't get a good look at him in the lecture hall, but his face is a perfect mix of feminine and masculine beauty. His eyes are soft and round, but his jawline sharp and angled. The most chiseled cheekbones you've ever seen are handsomely defined under the mosaic of shadows and light created by the branches of the willow tree. A slight, shy smile graced his delicate, pink lips.

He's super cute. I take back everything I thought in lecture.

"Hey, welcome!," a sudden high-pitched voice rips your attention away from ogling the blonde boy. Turning your face, you see Haechan on your other side eagerly holding out a hand for you to shake. You take his hand and he shakes it vigorously, "I'm Haechan nice to meet you! What's your name?".

"I'm y/n," you reply with a smile. He's really outgoing, huh.

"Y/n what year are you?"

"Oh I'm a sophomore this year"

"Ayyy! Jeno and I are sophomores too," the friendly brunette slaps the other boy on the arm, "say hi, Jeno".

"Hey, I'm Jeno". He gives a heart-fluttering eye-smile and you could hear hushed gasps and coos ensue from the onlooking girls across the court.

"Hi, y/n," you respond shyly.

Dang, these guys are all so good-looking.

You always hear about the 'Lees' and their 'godly' visuals, but you never truly paid attention. Yet now that you're sitting with them at their cool-people-only hangout spot, you have no choice but to admit how exactly spot-on those descriptions were.

"Here, y/n" Haechan hands you a paper tray full of chicken nuggets.

"Nice! Thank you," you cheer, taking the food perhaps a little too excitedly. Working out and training nearly everyday means you're inevitably hungry most of the time. Not to mention, your stomach always rumbles at the sight of your all-time favorite food.

Digging into the free food reward, you turn back to Mark who hasn't said anything to you yet.

"What's your name?" you ask. Technically, you already know it, but you don't really know a better way to start a conversation.

Visibly surprised, Mark chokes on his chicken.

You let out a single note of laughter at his unexpected coughing before slapping a hand over your mouth to stop yourself.

"Are you okay?" you ask stupidly.

"Bruh," Haechan teases with a smirk, amused at his best friend's embarrassment.

Mark nods quickly with a hand covering his mouth as he continues coughing. Unsure of what to do, you reach over to pat him on the back firmly.

"Here, dude". Jeno tosses Mark a filled water bottle, the older boy accepting it gratefully, gulping down the water like his life depends on it (which it... actually does).

Gasping in relief as he sets the bottle down, Mark looks back at you with flushed cheeks and wet lips. You realize your hand is still on his back and you quickly snatch your hand away, suddenly flustered by the contact.

"I'm Mark," he finally answers, voice hoarse from the ordeal.

"Hi Mark, I'm y/n" you giggle.

He looks absolutely hilarious with water dribbling down his chin and cheeks as red as fire. There is something intensely endearing about him as he looks down, front teeth biting down on his bottom lip in embarrassment.

"What year are you?," you continue.

"Uh-I'm a Junior"

"Oh nice! What do you study?"

"Uh-business and sports management"

"Wow! Wait you're In Econ31 right?"

"Yeah I am," Mark smiles.

"I thought I recognized you! I'm in that class too," you exclaim. Usually, you aren't terribly sociable with people you just met, but there's something about the softness of his voice that makes him easy to talk to. That and the way he's just choked on a chicken nugget in front of you at your first meeting- you have little to nothing to lose.

"Oh yeah I-I've seen you around sometimes"

"Yeah we've seen you around sometimes," Ten calls out, a shit-eating grin plastered across his face. Yuna laughs and hits his chest in warning.

"Shut up!" Mark grabs a nugget from his tray and chucks it at the older boy. Like a slow-motion scene in a movie, Ten catches the piece of chicken between his teeth and flashes a wink back at the flustered junior.

You burst out in laughter at the interaction, slapping a hand onto your knee at the dumbfounded look on Mark's face.

Mark feels his heart clench at the sound of your bright laughter filling the air. You gasp with glee, one hand slapping your knee repeatedly and the other gripping your fork. Truth be told, he is freaking out inside. And this is not how he imagined you would meet. 

All thoughts about Ten abandoned, a wide smile spreads back onto his face as his eyes scan across your laughing form. You sport a casual outfit consisting of a grey t-shirt and denim shorts like you usually do. A simple gold chain hangs from your neck, tucked away under the collar of your shirt. Up close, Mark feels even more drawn to you than ever before.

Beautiful as ever.

"I-I can't breathe," you wheeze, "what just happened?"

"My talent," Ten states, moving his arms from around Yuna's waist to hold them up in a 'well duh' shrug.

"Nah bro, it was a good throw from me," Mark cuts in, holding up a hand to stop the gloating boy.

"Nah bro, it was a good catch from me," Ten sasses back, moving Yuna off his lap to kneel up. You meet Yuna's eyes and you both hold back laughter at the ridiculous argument.

"Nah bro" Mark moves onto his knees as well.

"Nah bro's," Haechan suddenly interjects, "It was me. I have telepathy and I moved the chicken". Haechan promptly stands up and does a body wave, posing with a finger gun pointed over the slope of his nose to his forehead.

You laugh silently between the three boys who are suddenly all standing as they argue over who was responsible for the nugget trick. You had just met these guys a few minutes ago, but you're more confused and intrigued at them than you've ever been with anyone.

Look at you go, making new friends and everything!

"Guys..." Jeno tries, but his low voice isn't nearly loud enough to be heard over the chaos.

The boys point accusing fingers at each other like in a Renaissance painting. You scooch your way over to the other girls to get out of their way, bringing your food with you.

"You're dating..." You gesture your fork at Ten who was is caught in a three-way head lock with Mark and Haechan.

"Yeah". Yuna's face remains expressionless as she nonchalantly pops another piece of chicken into her mouth. After dating Ten for almost five months now, she is well aware of what the expression 'boys will be boys' really means.

"Are they always like this?" Hope asks, bewildered. Lisa just laughs on the side, enjoying the spontaneous fight more than she should. Jeno gives up, laying down to stare at the sky and wonder why his friends are like this.

Click

Your ears perk at  strange noises coming from behind you. Turning around, you notice that several of the girls you saw earlier are now pulling large, fancy cameras out of their book bags. Baffled, you watch incredulously as they shamelessly snap photos of the tussling, oblivious boys.

"What the heck?," you gawk. You haven't been here but twenty minutes and it's already one surprise after the other.

"Tell me about it. Those weirdos are these guys' fans, the 'Lovelees' as they call themselves," Yuna explains, "You would not believe how crazy they can get. Remember when I had to put all my socials on private a few months ago? It's because they found out I was dating Ten".

"Right, I remember that" you nod your head sympathetically. Your eyes move between the unsuspecting boys and the audacious crowd of girls. Maybe you haven't known them for long, but the Lees seem like a regular group of guys. Admittedly, they are above average in the visual department (and in the strange department), but the existence of the Lovelees is really unnerving. Is it just you?

One particular girl at the forefront stares you down intently. Her hair is a mousy brown with two striking streaks of bright red down her bangs in a distasteful take on E-girl style hair. Too-light foundation is packed onto her skin and you winced internally at the severe creasing by her nose. Black eyebrows not matching her hair, her fake eyelashes bat at you threateningly.

"What's up with her?". You are genuinely confused. Why does she look like she wants to murder you?

"She's so scary," Hope's eyebrows knit in worry.

"Yeah, what's with her? She's staring at y/n," Lisa suddenly adds, attention turning to the concerning conversation.

"That's Hillary, the club president or something," Yuna confirms with a shudder, "she's super psycho about Mark. Definitely stay away from her".

"Gotcha... but why is she looking at me like that? Is it just me?"

Hillary's creepy stare never leaves your face and you feel chills run down your spine like a thousand invisible spiders. Generally speaking, you sometimes shy from even ordering food over the phone. Being under her flaming gaze makes you want to shrivel up like a raisin.

If someone could write a story about Seoul University campus life, you'd for sure be a background character. Attracting negative attention to yourself for no reason is surely a new feeling and unequivocally uncomfortable... perhaps because there is any attention on you at all?

"Well for one," Yuna smiles, poking an accusing finger into your side, "you seem to be getting along with these guys pretty well. Especially Mark". The blonde wiggles her perfectly threaded brows at you. Flustered, you shove a nugget in her mouth before she could say more.

"What are you even talking about, we literally just met". You fight to keep your voice steady and expression unaffected, but alas you can't stop the heat from spreading onto your unwilling cheeks. Admittedly, it's been a while since you've gone out with a guy. More honestly, you haven't really dated anyone since you came to campus last year. So needless to say, your single self is a little bit flustered to be thrown into the notion that you even have a chance to be with a super popular, charming guy like Mark.

You shake your head to clear the ridiculous thoughts.

Let's not err on the side of desperation today.

Peering back at the crazy fangirl who you now know as Hillary, you're relieved to find her piercing gaze has shifted from boring holes in your skull to her cell phone and she types away at lightning speed.

"I have a feeling that he likes you, y/n," Yuna presses. Hope and Lisa giggle and nod in agreement, exchanging knowing glances at each other. 

You don't have ample time to ponder more as your attention is ripped away by the fighting boys. They've shifted from the shade of the willow tree to the basketball court, disregarding all onlookers and fighting like their lives depended on it.

"Let's go. Rooftop. Right now!" Haechan screeches, taking a leap at Ten while Mark struggles to hold him back.

"Fight me here, bro," Ten taunts, "we all know I'm built different". The sass in his voice gives Haechan the strength to break away from Mark's grasp and tackle the senior boy. All eyes glue to the two boys rolling around on the hot pavement, screaming.

"Yuna, can you-" Jeno starts, eyes closed as he lay on the blanket listening to his friends beat each other up.

"Yeah," Yuna gives the tired boy an apologetic pat on the knee. "Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul".

Her boyfriend's entire body immediately freezes at the sound of his full name. Letting Haechan go from his chokehold, Ten scurries back over to his spot on the picnic blanket to kneel by an unamused Yuna like a scolded dog. "I'm sorry".

You suppress another laugh. This... this is what the cool kids are like? You were really nervous for nothing. Mark shuffles back next to you, supporting a limping Haechan who insists he's fine.

"Sorry girls. They're not... actually no, they are usually like this," Jeno apologizes, "Hope we didn't scare you away".

"No, actually. I think you guys are really... funny. It's cool how comfortable you all are". You smile at the hockey players. Weird as they may be, you don't feel uncomfortable.

"She thinks you're cool!" Haechan cries, slapping Mark on the back.

"Shut up!" Mark smacks the back of the younger's head, ready for another fight already.

"But don't you guys think it's weird we haven't met earlier? We always see the hockey team around our practices but I think this is our first time officially talking," Hope suddenly points out the elephant in the room.

"Yeah I guess that's true," Haechan ponders, "to be honest, we didn't think you guys liked us very much... or let me rephrase that- we were kinda scared to approach you".

"YOU were scared to approach US," Lisa exclaims in shock, "did you forget that you four are, like, the most popular guys on campus or what?".

The four boys look amongst each other blankly. "No, but we thought...," Haechan starts.

"... that figure skaters hated hockey players," Mark finishes. Silent glances are exchanged between all parties as this new information is revealed.

At the sheer awkwardness of the situation, you decide to interrupt the silence with light laughter. "Why would we hate you?"

"You- agh," Haechan's reasoning is cut off by a sharp jab to the ribs from Mark. No way is he going to let the blabbermouth sophomore spoil that they stalked your Facebook last year and found your post.

"I mean you all seem really cool and," Mark saves, looking at you, "I'm really glad we got to meet you today. But we were just... intimidated before".

You raise an eyebrow and your eyes meet Yuna's, Hope's, and Lisa's who shared similar expressions.

"Babe, I'm intimidating?" Yuna asks her boyfriend, peering into his eyes. Ten promptly places a hand at the back of her neck and brings her in for a deep kiss. Everyone in the group groans in disapproval and you hope the sour expression on your face isn't too obvious. Why, Ten. Why.

"Uh.. ok then," you divert, "I was never a fan of hockey itself, to be frank. The sport, not the team. And maybe I've been annoyed at you guys for hogging the ice sometimes, but I've never ever hated you! Don't worry haha".

"Bro what?!" Haechan cries, "hockey is the greatest sport of all time! It's all about strategy, speed, strength, and skills. If anything, figure skating doesn't have a point".

You gasp in full-offense. Sure, you just gave your honest opinion on their sport and it was only fair that they give theirs, but that one burns. Before you can make your counterargument, the boy next to you beats you to it.

Tapping the back of his hand to Haechan's arm, Mark's next words made your heart skip a beat: "dude, you don't know what you're talking about," he turned to look into your eyes, "it's beautiful".

Mark's eyes are a deep brown color, you notice, and they sparkle gold in the light streaming past the branches of the willow tree. Softly, they peer into yours, bringing with them a rare kindness that pinches at your chest.

"Thank you" you smile at him. Is your face always this warm?

"Okayyy," Jeno finally opts to sit up, "now that we've determined that we don't hate each other and we're all cool, are we good to be friends?". A chorus of "Heck yeah"'s and "duh"'s filled the picnic area and your heart swells with happiness. You look back at Mark and smiled again.

New friends

"You should come eat with us here more often," Mark suggests to you, warm gaze making your heart strain for the hundredth time that afternoon. What is happening? "All of you should," he corrects, looking away shyly.

"Yeah we're here everyday," Ten adds. Looking down to Yuna who had laid her head in his lap, he stroked her hair lovingly. "You should come hang out with us whenever".

"I'd like that," you grin.

"Let's make a group chat. Everyone gimme your numbers," Haechan declares.

While the brunette went around collecting numbers, you chatted with Mark, wanting to get to know him more. You quickly find that he's so very endearing, blushing and fiddling with the bandages on his fingers at your every word. His words are kind and he listens to you thoughtfully when you speak. Talking to him is so easy, surprisingly easy, and you feel the conversation unfold out effortlessly. You hardly notice as the minutes of your lunch break tick to an end.

"That's crazy! There was this one time that-" the jarring sound of your phone alarm cuts you off. Scrambling for your phone, you tap on the screen desperately to shut it off.

"Sorry guys," you apologize, "Lisa, oh my goodness, it's time for us to go to Frankie's".

Lisa checks her own watch and gasps, "Oh gosh! We gotta go guys".

"Who's Frankie?" Mark questions, eyes slightly crestfallen.

"No," you laugh while picking up your bag, "Frankie's. The diner down the street next to the lake. We work there".

Haechan, Ten, and Jeno crack up silently at their sensitive friend. 

"It was nice meeting you all!" you exclaim, "It was nice meeting you, Mark".

"Great meeting you, y/n. Hope to see you around," he waves back at you.

Bidding their goodbyes, you and Lisa make your way down the alley to her parked car.

"Y/n don't you think Mark is super into you?" Lisa says excitedly once the others are out of earshot.

"What are you saying!?" you proclaim, looking back to make sure the Lovelees aren't following you. Seeing the coast is clear, you consider your friend's accusation. So much has happened in the last 2 hours than in your year and a month at college, or your entire life honestly. 

You walked into the alley with no guy friends and are leaving with four. Is it greedy to say that Mark really does stand out to you and you might be starting to like him, or are you just like every other girl who likes him too? The last thing you want is to be like Hillary.

"He's probably just friendly to everyone," you decide.

"No way, y/n, you good in the head? This dude only looking at you the whole time," Lisa retorts.

You shake your head in denial but thinking back, it could be true.

There it is again. That nervous, light feeling in your chest.

Oh, God. What if I like him?

Mark flops down on his bed, still not down from the high that he's been on all day. No, not that kind of high. Smile plastered on his face, he runs his fingers through his freshly washed hair, recounting your conversations from earlier.

"Dude, you look so stupid," Jeno walks into their shared room, shirtless from just getting out of the shower. A simple white towel wrapped around his lean torso is the only thing censoring the spectacular scene. Messing his hair with a second towel, he chucks the wet fabric at Mark's face.

"Fuck off," Mark swings it back at the sophomore. This year, he chose to live in a suit with the rest of the guys to save some money. Him and Jeno shared a room while Ten and Haechan occupied the other. It's undeniably small and only has one bathroom, but he is grateful he at least doesn't have to room with Haechan anymore.

Mark's phone buzzes with a notification on his nightstand. Propping himself up with his elbow, he checks to see who it's from.

1 new message from unknown

Mark sighs. If it's these crazy girls again he's going to get really annoyed. Today was a really good day and the last thing he wants is another stranger asking him to father her children. 

Maybe: Yuna?: hey mark, it's Yuna. I got your number from the group chat! If you're not too busy I'd love to talk to you about a few things

Oh crap.

Suddenly nervous, Mark scrambles to sit up properly.

"Text from your new girlfriend?," Jeno taunts unknowingly.

"No, dickhead, it's Yuna," Mark rebuts, thinking hard about a good, casual reply.

"Oh, shit," Jeno states, taken aback. The sophomore swaggers onto his own bed, now sporting a pair of grey sweatpants and a fitted white t-shirt. The bare minimum makes him look like a poster boy every magazine photographer would clamber for. The man could put all models out of work if he had the heart for it. Fortunately, he only has the heart for hockey, video games, and pizza.

Mark: Hey Yuna! What's up?

Yuna: Hey :) nothing much! Not to freak you out, but I know all about your crush on y/n from Ten

Mark: ahaha... yeah I figured

Yuna: ok, so as her best friend and someone who cares about her a lot I just wanna put a few things out there

Yuna: is typing...

Mark watched as the three dots of the impending message taunted him. What could she be talking about? What if you have a boyfriend and Yuna's telling you to back off?

Yuna: if you're going to get close with her, you gotta make sure you keep her safe from those crazy fangirls. Y/N is a shy and sensitive girl she'll definitely take the hate to heart and if Hillary and those other crazy bitches come after her, I won't let you live

Hillary? Mark wracks his brain for any memory of a girl with that name. That girl from calc? No, that's Helen. Hillary...

An image of a mousy girl with red bangs comes into his mind. Ah yes, that's Hillary. She sends him love tweets and gave him chocolates for Valentine's Day.

Mark: I barely know Hillary and I'm pretty sure I've told her I'm not into her, but i'll make sure she knows. Yuna I'm serious about y/n

Yuna: as you should be! She's a real diamond in the rough and she's never confident in herself. All she does is work and study and practice. She never does anything for herself but she never complains either. Also, I don't wanna butt in too much, but I gotta you ask one thing

Mark: yeah ask away!

Yuna: y/n says today is the first time she met you but Ten says you've "been simping for like a year". Add it up for me?

Mark: It's kind of hard to explain... it like... do you believe in love at first sight?

Yuna: HA!!! You're too cute omg

Mark: It's like that but I never had the chance to talk to her... it never seemed right idk

Yuna: boy

Yuna: I had to force y/n to go to your game with me and Ten had to bribe Haechan to set up the picnic today early

Yuna: not to mention we made Hope and Jeno sit together even though they're both awkward just so y/n would have to sit next to you. you better make ur fucking move now

Mark curls his fingers into his blow-dried hair, letting out a low, stressed groan. He's gonna owe the guys big time.

Mark: I really appreciate it! :)))

Yuna: oh and one more thing

Mark: yeah?

Yuna: If you hurt her, I will gouge out your eyeballs and stick them up your ass and while you cry, I'll force feed you your own severed balls until you choke and die. Got it? :D

Holy fuck.

Mark: understood

Yuna: Yay!!! Approved :) good night mark! Nice getting to know you today!

Mark: same here. Night!

Mark's thumbs shake as he types out his final message. So this is what your friends are like, huh? It's such a contrast to your easy-going attitude. A smile spreads across his lips at the thought of you again.

Stretching up to shut off the lamp on his night stand, Mark tucks himself into bed. It's finally happening. You're here. You're right within his grasp. And he wants nothing more than to give you everything you need.

Mark contemplates Yuna's messages as he lay there in the dark; she said you aren't confident in yourself. This comes as a surprise to him. You're so beautiful, smart, kind, funny, and talented, the last thing he expected was that you didn't know it. You exude put-togetherness and wear elegance like a favorite sweater.

His eyes squeeze shut as Mark replays the first night he saw you in his mind. The image is engraved in his brain as he must have revisited that unintentional performance a thousand times.

This whole time, he never got to know you, but today he dipped his hand in the water. And he wanted so much more, to dive in completely and surround himself with you. All this time, he's only been on the sidelines.

I want her so bad

It's time to stop waiting around and get in the game. He's going to talk to you, walk you to class, make you feel special. So much time has already been wasted due to his own fears and misunderstandings. If it's confidence you need, it's confidence he will give you.

Wait for me, y/n, I'm gonna do it right this time

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[lazilymagnificentcollection]

Trying to be good student in the wake of a pandemic

[7:24 AM, 8/26/2020]

I’m not actually sure how long I have been kind of slack on this account for, maybe the last month or so? idk. but basically, I’ve been trying to pretend I’m doing better but in reality - I’m far from it.

I woke up at 5 this morning, offered morning prayer, took a walk, had tea, did few other essentials, then sat to introspect my actions in past few days (so get ready for some self-projection).

Idk man, unlike others, even if I manage to wake-up early it doesn't do me any good. Like why? However, I decide to come back to my normal life. I rely so heavily on routine and rigid self-discipline, so I went a week doing NONE of that. Just being a lazy slob and glutton with no direction. Sleeping late, eating anything and everything, spending lot of time on cellphone- screen, not engaging in any spiritual practice. Putting zero effort into life and that’s when I realized how fuckin screwed, life had become. Thursday was the only thing giving me an anchor to base my perception of time on. It was either Thursday, or not Thursday. Now I have no anchor. Time will cease to exist. What day is it. I didn't know five minutes ago and I will not know tomorrow and I will not know on Thursday. Life, however, will seem falling apart no matter how much I try to organize it. I know it. I just want to tell you I'm trying, but maybe I'm not. I'm sinking deeper and deeper into this sadness and this self-destruction and it's so easy to just let it happen.

Sometimes it makes me sick, the way sadness is addicting. The way I can't stop it. Sadness is familiar. It’s comfortable but everything else about it is hard. The way my body aches with self-hatred. The way my mind spins and spins with hopeless thoughts. The way it poisons everything I do, every relationship I have. Yet it's addicting, because I know sadness, and I know sadness very well. And there's a sort of comfort in that, like being home after a trip or sleeping in your own bed after a while. There’s just a sense that this is where I belong. This is how it's supposed to be. Happiness is so fragile, I'm not sure I want it anymore. Sadness is familiar, reliable, constant. It's always there to fall back on and it's the only state of mind that feels real to me. I'm not sure I care about being happier anymore. Happiness is a dream that's never going to happen for me. Sadness is reality and at least I can rely on that while becoming a brand-new person every day to fit in different circumstances until you have no idea who you are underneath all the layers.

The stress of everything in my life coming together and falling apart at the same time has got me choked up hard right now and I know this another day is approaching so quick and it feels like everything is approaching so quick and it's just a huge weight that I need to learn to stay light on my feet with.

The stress is excessive today. I'm just stuck in this endless cycle of hating myself, thinking I'm maybe worth something, then realizing I'm not, realizing I'm stupid for even thinking otherwise, then hating myself again. It's exhausting and I'm trying but I just end up disappointed every time. Years ago, I really had hope that things would get better... what a fool!

Well, I was going to talk about studies and I find myself totally deflected from the point, lol. That’s basically how a person with adhd acts like, tries to study, gets distracted by a household task, unable to read a book without doing something then coming back to it, halfway through decides to watch something on Netflix, Pauses it after a few minutes to start searching for a random question struck to mind, ends up with a random You tube video on the feed, then sudden realization that there's an exam and I'm supposed to study for it, Panics, then again meanwhile studying, Hey look a new movie trailer, Oh, why not let’s make some tea, wonders what others are doing. Let's go and find out. oh! It's evening now. shit.

It’s so tiring to distract myself from my own mind. You all ever just feel like a fucking failure in comparison to your peers like fuck am I really that terrible and behind or is mental illness fucking me up like wtf why can't i just be content with where I am?? Why can't I acknowledge my accomplishments?? For fucks sake, I'm talented and I do all that with mental illness but it's never fucking enough for me.

Oh yeah, So, what does a good student do in an environment where there is no peace of mind? Also when you live in a dysfunctional family. And there is nowhere you can go. The people you are living with may not understand you have to log into class at the same time every day, or they may not understand the work expectations for your online classes.

The focus is lost and so is the enthusiasm. Your life seems falling apart. You have no wish to continue and give up on everything. There is no motivation from anyone.

[cutegirlmayra]

Commission Receipt  - Soler the Hedgehog

Commissions are open! http://cutegirlmayra.tumblr.com/commissions (If you have any questions, please feel free to message me!)

@solerwolf21 - Solar ‘Lunar Eclipse’ Story - Next Chapter (Sonic OC story)

Time: After a brief discussion of what was wanted, the cost willing to be given, and how many pages that would give, I took about a day or two to plan the plot and wrote about 60 some pages.

Amount paid: 28$, Page range agreed upon:  around 60-70.

Review: @solerwolf21  “So first, I wasn't prepared for the amount of feels you had in store for me. I teared up at least three separate times. Like, woah I wasn't prepared lol  Well, first, it was the right amount the pacing was great. Parts I teared up on I definitely got hit when he was leaving the village. That hurt but was so well done. It got me also when his PTSD would act up. I felt for my boy so much. You did so good on holding their characters like, woah. Soler and Luna felt so natural and how I imagined them, great job! Reading them in action felt soo good. Then Soler going to Sally felt like a natural progression for him. I enjoyed the ending with the song so much! Photography was definitely the right song to choose. All in all you outdid yourself with this one.

Product Preview: (By consent of the customer) - Please enjoy a sample of what I can offer. This is the product’s rough draft that is being kindly allowed for your viewing pleasure. I hope you consider commissioning me in the future! :Db

Lunar Ellipse

Commission of 60-70 pages for the amazing Solerwolf21

By: Cutegirlmayra

It’s been a long time since the Metal Sonic incident…

I’ve been carrying the weight of that day for a while now… I know it’s no good, so I’m trying to get my mind off of things and start something new.

At least, something new to think about…

That’s when I thought about Sally.

Soler held his medal close to himself, looking down forlorned as he continued his afternoon walk. It was getting late, as it usually does, but he missed his morning sulk so this was his best effort to stay on schedule.

“Heh,” He lightly laughed out loud at the thought. ‘Morning Sulk’ was a good name for it, but he liked the fresh air too. It was nice to get away from everyone’s busy work and all the fighting.

Time and time again… one fight after the other. But it was exhausting, you know? Then Eggman suddenly blipped off the radar. Everyone got anxious and confused, scared even. I went out on my own to do some recon and came back with to a nasty surprise. Apparently, I didn’t ask permission to go off on recon and the whole of the Freedom Fighters was about to send out a search party with Sally at the command.

After that, Sonic had told me to take it easy… but what does that mean?

Did everyone just suppose I was unstable? Maybe I wasn’t… maybe I really was.

I’ve thought a lot of things lately…

He stared at the ground as his shoes kicked the dirt off the path as he continued. The scent of pinewood and the weeds scrapping against his feet created a pleasant scenery. Not too many flowers, but just enough to catch the eye.

Mostly, I’ve thought a lot about Sally. But then…

He sighed, looking up as he let go of the medal and clasped the necklace instead.

“Luna… The moon’s about to come out soon.” He stopped a moment as he tried to remember which moon this would be.

When he realized he didn’t know, a sudden harsh sadness came on him. “Did I forget?” He seemed almost spooked. Feeling guilty, he quickly ran to try and see the moon over the hill he usually star-gazed on. He climbed a moment on all floors to regain some balance at his new quickened pace. It was a tad slippery from some rainfall, but Soler didn’t mind it. He was used to laying on this hill as fresh dew scattered across it. It was refreshing after the walk, and the sun warmed him while the earth cooled his sweaty back.

Things weren’t necessarily quiet back at camp… the Freedom Fighters had their fair share of Eggman busting to do. After he went dark, they were on high alert, finding rogue robots from his army and taking those down one by one. Sonic and Shadow both agreed I needed space and time to think, but qgain, what exactly does that mean? Were they really not gonna let me help? Just because of the Neo Metal Sonic incident… or because I went off on my own without telling anyone? It was confusing, to say the least… I felt bad about it, but I also hoped everyone had already put it passed them.

I guess I did give everyone quite a scare…

After racing to the top of the hill, he paused to look up, breathing hard in his worry. His emerald green eyes scanned the falling horizon, “… It’s not up yet.” He looked behind him and suddenly clutched his fists. “Dang it. I really can’t let go!” he slammed it into the hillside’s top, a full-blown swing as he slightly jumped and let it collide with the earth, bending and landing on his knees to reach the mark. This caused a small pound but none of his chaos energy was put into it, so his hand just hurt a little from the harsh hit.

“Huh?” He once again wondered what was going on. “My… my abilities?” he tried to see if he could do a Chaos Spear.

As practiced a thousand, no—millions of times with Shadow, he released a perfect set of spears that flew with a whistle out into the air and pierced sharply into the ground upon descending in an arrow’s arch. After a moment, they disappeared in a swiped flash and were no more.

“Phew… Why am I so paranoid?” he gripped his wrist, just massaging it a bit and wondering why he didn’t feel himself today.

Recently… I’ve been thinking too much.

He sat down, plopping on the tippy top of the hill as though not caring if he hurt himself in the process. Staring up, he vaguely saw the sun finally setting and dipping away.

It was his favorite thing. Waiting for the moon to come up. The Moonset, as he called it. However, he couldn’t bring himself to view the moon today, though he willed himself too. A pain slowly sank from his chest down into his heart and stomach. His mind raced again from the longings of his heart… his words following, unable to contain what lie inside his every thought.

“Luna…” He looked down at the necklace, waiting to see what the moon would be like today. “Luna… if I decided to love someone else… would you always know I still loved you?”

There was an unshakable silence.

---

“Soler! You’re falling behind!” The voice was so real, so tangible. It was soft and high, like a cloud against the moon. It was shrouded in utter fascination and mystery to Soler, so hard to describe, but so easily to recognize and pull again to mind.

“Ha…Ha… I’m trying, alright!?” Counter wise, his voice was husky from all the running, heavy breaths interrupted any sweet, playfulness it usually carried.

“Well, try harder!” she urged.

“You’re just as pushy as your dad!” He raised his head up, trying to keep up the pace.

“Haha! I take that as a compliment!” It was a typical day with the beautiful chief’s daughter, nothing in the world could ruin this memory for him.

Luna raced up the track that headed back to her village, looking behind her constantly to wave and encourage Soler on. “Come on! If you make it, I might just give you a hero’s kiss~” she taunted, winking and blowing him a tease.

Soler’s head shot up, “Huh?” It hadn’t been long since they confessed the buddings of romance to each other, but the thought of a kiss still brought a faint blush to his cheeks.

“What? Was that not motivation enough? Hehe!” she laughed as she bolted forward again.

How mischievous… But I don’t dislike that about her. In fact, it’s kinda fun and refreshing to see her tease me like this.

He smiled, his breathing seeming to find a rhythm in their jog now. She was quite a ways ahead, but he didn’t mind giving her the head start. He loved running. It was something he always did when exploring new places.

But… today was meant to be the day he was going to tell her he wanted to head out again. His nomadic ways hadn’t stopped so suddenly. It was a habit to find new places and people to serve, it was just his nature to acquaint himself with anyone who needed his help.

He wanted to leave for a while, but also wanted to promise her he’d come back and live there with her… he was still so young, they both were.

His eyes arched as he thought about it…

If I kiss her… will that make me change my mind?

He shook his head.

I’ll just let her win. Besides, she usually does, anyway.

“Slowpoke!”

“That does it.” He narrowed his eyes, smiling. “Here I come!” he had stored his energy long enough He burst forward with a high-speed velocity, but nothing compared to the rumored Fastest Thing Alive. His lungs pumped air in and out like a steam-train without any breaks, his legs like well-oiled wheels being pushed by a long gear to never quit or strain under the pressure. He felt an open smile as he breathed through his mouth and was charging up to the side of her at a rapid pace.

His heart had a goal in mind, but his mind didn’t have the heart to disappoint her.

He began to catch up swiftly, causing her to stop laughing and gasp in fright. Immediately, she began to run with all her effort—for real this time. Though, her curiosity and fright at his sudden bolt made her keep looking over her shoulder, slowing her speed down every time she looked back to see him continually picking up speed.

“Eeee..!” her mouth stretched far back, clearly nervous about the rewards at stake…

“Heh.” Here’s for trying to tempt me! He slid up next to her and grabbed her hand, “Need a boost?”

“Ah!” she blushed, while he looped her hand under his arm and passed the village gates—side by side.

Serves her right for upping the ante.

It was terribly romantic, too. A duo tie. However, if Soler knew anything about Luna, she would downplay his charms and pretend like she wasn’t smitten at all by it.

“Y-you’re pretty fast.” She didn’t move away from him as he slowed down to a stop, looking down at her ducking face.

He could still see the pink all over her muzzle though, so it was enough to make him smile.

There was heat on his cheeks too, but the fresh air and smell of food being cooked in the village cooled and stilled him off. He would probably eat something light with her to make up for all the lost energy.

He decided not to ask about the ‘reward’ but instead, poke at her nose. “I know you’re pretty fast yourself. Almost lost there if I didn’t think fast too.”

She giggled at his touched and looked up at him, shyly trying to disguise her fondness for him. That smile though… couldn’t even hide a secret…

“Did you have fun?” He found himself saying, finding his breathing had returned to a normal rhythm again. He was glad she didn’t pull away, it reassured him that this tie was a grand idea in the end. At least, she always seemed to enjoy his company, and this wasn’t exactly the first time he was trying to win her affections through a clever tactic. He was used to be bolder with her now, since they confessed. But it did leave him wondering if he should really leave or not…

“Y-yes.” She put her other hand to her chest and tried to still her racing heart again. “But I think my heart still thinks we’re in the race.”

“Well… who said we’re not?”

“H-huh?”

He leaned down and lightly pecked the side of her cheek, making sure to pull her lightly over to him with his arm that still held her hand in place.

“Ah! Stop it! Not in public!” she cutely moved away and shoved him off, causing him to wobble a bit before grinning happily and stepping away from her.

“Whatever you say, Luna.”

She covered her face, but then opened her hands enough to stick her tongue out at him.

“You offered first…” he mumbled as he folded his arms and looked away. He decided not to push it anymore, concluding that she probably was still a bit hesitant about it all.

“Actually,… Luna… I meant to ask you something.”

Luna stiffened a bit.

“I… I think I’d like to-“ He was about to address the subject when a familiar voice, like brass toned to a mature ring, echoed towards the two abruptly.

“Luna! Darling!” Suddenly, out of the blue, her father stepped in and worriedly embraced his daughter. “What have I told you about wandering too far from the village?! Ah, Soler!” he saw Soler and outstretched his palm to him. “Now I see! You were being protected! I’m glad then. But still, dear girl, don’t go running off like that!”

“But dad, I’m-“

“A big girl who still asks me to cook breakfast for her?” He raised a comical eyebrow as Soler covered his mouth to chuckle.

She blushed and looked to Soler, then her father. “Dad!”

At this point, Luna’s father had completely taken Soler in. It didn’t change the fact that he didn’t exactly know Soler and Luna’s relationship, but at the same time, Soler felt he wouldn’t mind much either.

But they were still… so young.

He looked back out of the gates of the village, feeling some left over thrill at running out and exploring what else could be out there again.

His powers…

He looked down at his hands with striped ‘X’s over his gloves. I also want to go somewhere safe to train… My combat skills are better than ever, so far. And I’m sure there are other villages out there that could use my help too.

He turned back to watch the antics of father and daughter play out a familiar scene. The Chief was a bit protective over her, but it made sense since she was slightly childish at times. Seeing Luna scold her father while he kept lovingly reminding her of her youth made Soler wish once again to have known more about where he came from, what family dynamics he might have had. It was too much of a blurry memory, hazy from years of being unable to recall it. Still… he considered this village a type of family, and wondered what they’d think of him taking off for a while…

“-And that one time you asked me to buy you that adorable hedgehog doll made out of hay. You painted it white, you know.”

“DAD, SERIOUSLY, STOP!” she kept jumping up to try and reach his mouth, hoping to slam a hand over it and shut him up. However, The Chief kept raising his head to avoid her, laughing at her attempts to reach his rather large height.

“Hahah! Even put cute, little pink blush-dots on the cheeks.”

“I’m so embarrassed!” Luna finally gave up and covered her face again, ducking as she raced off deeper into the village. “You’re the worst, Dad!”

“Haha. About time she gave up.” As though planning this, The Chief turned to Soler. Soler realized then that he was trying to embarrass her and have her run off. Soler gulped, wondering what The Chief was up too… “Now then, why don’t you and I have a talk, young man.”

Soler suddenly felt a whole planet had been dropped on him. A… A talk? Did he know!?

“Y-…Yes, sir.” He didn’t know why he was so nervous all of a sudden. He deeply respected The Chief, he was a good man, but the way he said that…

The two walked around the village, full of young and old life doing chores like hanging clothes out on lines or cooking for the village feast. They didn’t usually eat in families on weekends but had big parties to celebrate their happy village community.

Soler loved it here, but the atmosphere was something he wasn’t accustomed too. They had welcomed him with open arms, a little hesitant about his presence at first before saving them from a wild creature of sorts. Soler was sure it was something dark and possibly enraged by battling one of Eggman’s robots, evident by oil all over its hide. But whatever it was, it wasn’t natural. Soler had gotten injured and some of that darkness infected his injury, but Luna tended to him and his strange power had taken care of the rest. He was a bit uncomfortable with how sincerely grateful they were to him, always making him special in any social gathering, but he took it with a polite smile and awkward head nod.

Today, it seemed The Chief wanted to talk about manhood. He began to recite something that sounded recited, if that makes any sense. So although Soler listened intently to the chief’s speech on what a true, righteous man is… he was instantly bored of the topic and observing the life of the bustling village about him. He was constantly in awe at it, watching the children play outside their little straw houses or huts. So modest an abode, but then again, no one seemed to notice wealth or poverty. It was like they all shared and communicated freely, nothing was bought or sold, but exchanged and handed out without contracts or agreements. Just… in the spirit of being friendly and neighborly.

He knew it was very different from the outside world though, but when The Chief began to change his tone, Soler immediately started to pay more attention to his long monologue.

“Now, a lot of people ask what a young man like you would want to be when he grows up. A warrior? Simple farmer? But any of man can be a truly good, exemplary, benevolent man regardless of upbringing or birth.”

The entire time, Soler felt uneasy. He wasn’t much into justice or goodness. He just did what he felt was for the benefit of other’s safety. A man has his own soul to look after, but that doesn’t mean he can’t risk it save another’s. He wanted to ignore again and scan the silkworks for a sign of Luna, maybe find her gathering hay in a field and carrying it to the storehouse. Either way, anything would be better than being stuck with a rambling old man about traditional man values…

Why can’t I just be my own kind of man?

“-And so a true man has a heart that will never yield to injustice, but always fight for what is right. Regardless of this, he also obeys the laws the citizens have placed by their own will and hearts. So, what I’m saying is, the fifth quality of a true, righteous man is to respect the hearts of others, as well as the laws they give to govern themselves- ah… Soler?” The chief hit his staff a few times to the ground, causing Soler to snap out of his walking-sleep and shake his head a second.

He immediately realized he had been caught daydreaming, and apologetically scratched the back of his head.

“E…heh.” Opps.

“…Ehem.” The Chief cleared his throat, showing he was aware that Soler was dozing off while walking with him. Which… his eyes were wondering a lot, and after a moment,… maybe he did rest them without realizing noticing he was dozing off…

The Chief sighed, “One day, you will become a man. What, prey tell, kind of man do you want to be?”

Without hesitation, Soler opened his mouth-

And yawned.

“You aren’t very keen on thinking of the future, are you, boy?” The chief relaxed his tensed-up shoulders a moment, showing his caring eyes again that told Soler he was off the hook.

At least, for now.

“Honestly, Chief… I wanted to tell you and Luna what I’ve been thinking and feeling lately.”

“Oh?” The chief seemed interested, switching his staff to the other hand and waiting patiently for Soler to continue. “Go on.”

“I… There’s just a… big, whole world out there!” Soler spread his arms out. “I mean… don’t get me wrong, you must know how I feel about your village, but…”

“Emhmm…” the chief smiled, leaning down and giving Soler a look like he knew how he felt about a certain daughter of his too…

But Soler shook off the feeling and smiled sheepishly, continuing with his original thought. “B-but I can’t help and feel like I want to go out there and see what other things I can learn and do. I want to come back! Honest! I just…” he felt his animated arms suddenly slow and drop to his sides. “…I’m sorry. I have to see who else I can help. If I even have control enough to help them.” He felt his uncertainty bite down on his words, but he felt he could tell The Chief anything. Even his own heart…

“There, there, boy. You are a typical young man.” The Chief put his arm around Soler’s shoulders, since he was quite a large man. But clearly, The Chief was beyond his own youthful years now and couldn’t really defend the village himself. Hearing Solar speak these things… Soler wondered if he’d really be okay with his words. “You don’t want to be stuck in a fishbowl, spinning in circles inside the plot of space allotted to you. And although I wish I could just say, ‘off you go!’ I’m afraid my fear for my village is a little more prominent on this matter than I hoped.”… or not.

He gave a fatherly shake on Soler’s shoulders before letting go and walking on, shaking his head. “What will we do without you, Soler? Is your mind made up or are you still willing to consider staying here?” it was a kind plea, one that made it hard to respond too.

Soler felt his heart ache a moment. “You’re a good leader, Chief. Honest, you are! I just… I have to go.” Soler admitted, though it pained him to see the Chief look so downhearted.

The Chief took a moment, not speaking as he clearly was sad to hear this.

But after a moment, he nodded and sighed, walking off. “I have no say in your life, Soler… I just wish I could convince you somehow.”

Soler bowed in respect, “Thank you… Chief.” He stopped to show he wasn’t going to follow and speak with The Chief further. The Chief looked sorrowfully over his shoulder to Soler, his eyebrows showing the concern for not only Soler’s life, but the safety of his village. He was a good man, though. He was going to let Soler do as he wished.

Now all Soler had to do… was break the news to Luna.

He looked behind him, wondering how on earth he was going to tell her.

…Easier said than done…

---

The moon was high now, the stars not out yet, but the owls cooed on their sideline choirs. Soler opened his eyes, relaxing and having dozed off in a dream of his past for a moment.

He rubbed his eyes, placing his hands on his stomach. He yawned and pulled out the necklace.

“Hmm. So that’s the phase today.” He concluded, and let his head fall back to the soft grace he was resting on before.

He had matured so much since then… But his yawn still matched that boy from the dream… his past self. He had no idea what was in store to come.

Soler lowered his eyes,… remembering the horrors that would then ensnare Soler’s every step forward. The pity and the pain, the sorrow and the savagery.

“…Luna.” He began. He found that something new had slipped into the crevices of his broken heart.

“I want to ask Sally if she’d like to go on a walk with me.”

It wasn’t what he usually said to the moon, but it was just what popped out. He had conversations like this, out loud with the moon as the only witness, holding Luna’s necklace by his heart. The moon never responded, and neither did Luna.

But there was no silence this time. Crickets hopped with their strings creaking out into the night. The owls’ choir was still in full rehearsal for the dead of night, and the moon stayed motionless to observe the orchestra in the dark.

“Would you… feel betrayed if I did?” he felt the cold nip at his nose, causing him to shiver slightly. “You’re my long-lasting love, Luna… I appreciate you more than anything else in the world. You did so much for me… Will you let me get close to someone else? Move on? I’m just…” he turned on his side, “I’m just lonely again… feeling like I’m wanting a fishbowl… but denying it again and again.”

There was a swift wind that ruffled his quills on his back.

“Brr…” he felt the chill and got up, rubbing his arms and blowing some hot air into his hands. “It’s gonna be winter soon… I can’t come see the moon all the time like this. This isn’t a goodbye or anything… it’s kinda like…” he looked back up at the moon, shining as there wasn’t a cloud in the sky to dull its glow. “Permission.”

---

A pot crashed to the floor as the other girls in the storage room all stopped their cluttering chores and watched as Soler backed away from Luna.

She quickly turned around with glossy eyes, “Leaving..? Why? What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing’s wrong!” Soler shook his hands out, and then looked around at the people around him.

Shoot. She should have come with me to our tree… but she just had to decide that she’d finally listen to her father for once and not leave the village!

Luna opened her mouth to say something but stopped as she closed it tight.

She forced her eyes not to blink, and quickly grabbed Soler’s arm, dragging him out of the room so no one could see the very real threat of tears coming to her eyes. One blink, and she would be a mess in front of those who looked up to her family for guidance and leadership.

Soler felt bad about whispering the news into her ear, but she refused to come with him, what else could he have done?

They hiked in silence as Soler tried to explain himself but Luna shushed him every chance he got a word out.

Finally, they were at their tree, where he originally asked her to go. “Luna, say something!” He begged when she let him go and spun around.

“Soler… I don’t want you to go.” She admitted, her voice shaking a moment in her emotions.

“I know… I know that, okay?” He gently approached her, placing his hands on her arms. “Don’t cry, Luna… I’ll come back! I promise! I’ll bring you lots of things too. You’ll see, it’ll be like I never left.”

“…You don’t have to go, do you?” she looked up, and it broke his heart to see her so upset.

“…No.” he whispered, letting the word slip out of his mouth. “I want to go, though.”

“But why?” She moved away a second, “Am I not good enough?” she then raced back into his arms, hugging him tightly. “I thought you were going to protect this village!”

“I-…” he was losing it.

Why should I go?

He looked away.

Any guy would want to stay. Luna was amazing. Her father adored him. The village was just giddy to accept him into their family… so why?

He remembered.

“Luna, I have a power that is extremely dangerous, hidden inside of me.” He took her hands in his own, holding them together. “I do care about you, a whole awful lot, but…” he turned his head away from her, thinking carefully on his next words. “I also want to make sure that when I come back, I’m strong enough to protect more than just your village.” His eyes bore a witness of his love for her, but he worried she couldn’t understand. He had turned back to her, but she was still emotionally distraught, letting tears fall more willingly now that it was just the two of them.

That was Luna for you, always dropping her front for Soler. She only cared that he loved her, and the rest was meaningless.

But she clearly feared his words, and didn’t seem to understand why he was doing this.

Luna sniffed, looking at his nose and lightly moving her hand to drift a finger onto it, letting it slide down and reach his muzzle before continuing the stroke down to his mouth. “Just… stop talking, okay?”

He felt something flare up inside him, but he wasn’t sure what it was. The strange touch was hypnotic, it altered his thoughts a moment before her finger stopped at his mouth, and her words brought him back to reality. He hadn’t felt anything that powerful before, but he also chose to ignore it.

“Luna…” He looked down at her finger, feeling his lips move under its touch… He felt his whole body surrendering and he didn’t understand why. His will to continue to comfort and encourage her was the only thing keeping him talking. Reassuring her that he was coming home was the only thing that matter now. He had to make sure she understood him. That he would, honestly, come back!

“I said to stop… please…” she ducked her head into his chest fur, ruffling her face deeper inside it to rid herself of the tears and feel something warm and inviting again.

“I don’t care how powerful you are.” She spoke boldly now. “I don’t care! I love you!” she pulled out of his chest and lightly kissed him.

Now he was confused.

A moment ago, he was ready to pack up with a goal in mind. Hone his skills and help others, come back for Luna with gifts in hand, and live the rest of his life as a guardian over the little village.

But now..?

All he wanted to do was warp his arms around her thin waist, skim the skin of their lips over the other’s, and not think at all. Just feel.

He held her so close that there was nothing between them and brought her deeper into her misaimed kiss. It was rash and bold, and her inexperience led her to just dive and go for it. Thankfully, this didn’t deter his affections for her. He found where her lips were and started to kiss back, feeling her sudden strength falter and finally, she too surrendered her weight into him.

When air was required, the two parted and just hung in the moment, unable to separate feelings from reason.

“…How could I leave you?” his breathless confession gave her courage. “I’m madly in love with you, too…”

She went for another kiss, leaving him even more conflicted.

Nothing wanted to resist her, but everything in him knew he needed too.

She lured his resistance back down inside of him, pulling out a vulnerability he had never felt before. She lightly slid her hands down to his embracing arms, enticing him to follow her towards the side of their tree.

I have to stop this… if I don’t, she’ll never let me go.

His brain knew that, but his heart kept letting her lead.

Darn it! How is she so good at this!?

Though innocent to the ways of love, Luna seemed to have a knack for it. Whether she had been planning this for a while or just imagined it happening and played it out didn’t matter. Whatever it was, Luna was keeping him there, and that thought…

Scared him.

Luna leaned against the tree, pulling him close again as her fingers returned to the side of his face and brought his kiss deeper and deeper into her. When she moved away, he felt like the planet had shifted, opening his eyes and wondering what on earth was happening. It was great, but it was so sudden. What were we even talking about again?

“Then don’t go. Stay with me. Soler, don’t you want to stay?” it was so sweet, so inviting… he remembered once again what it was he had to do, what awful power lie inside of himself, and immediately took his hands away and placed them on the tree. They were on either side of her while he breathed a moment, shifting his eyes as he didn’t know now what to do. Give into his mind or his heart? What was the better option here?

“Please… don’t make this harder on me than it already is.” He was begging her to free him. Whatever entrapment she was casting on him, it was working all too well. “I don’t want to constantly have the fear that my power will burst out of me, hurt you or someone in your village.”

“Our village…” she cooed, moving towards his lips again.

Was this manipulation!? Should I care if it is or isn’t?! Luna… all I can think about is you now! Why is this so hard to bear…

In the middle of another passionate, but inexperienced kiss, he found his arms twitching to return to her sides… but he pulled away and placed them back on the tree’s trunk, resisting.

“No.” He had to side with his mind. Otherwise… otherwise… what horrors could happen to them if my powers whacked out and killed them all!?

“No, Luna…” He stated it again so faintly this time, she thought he had just been breathing.

She kissed his cheek and he pulled away once more, shaking his head but keeping his eyes shut. One look at her and he would be at her mercy again. He had to keep it together, somehow…

“Luna… Luna, I love you, but we’re so young.” It took every bit of him to fully move away, to think of her safety over the feelings she was tugging out of him. Like a tug-o-war, he kept fighting her gentle pulls and pulled back with his own. I have to win. For her safety. Why doesn’t she understand that!?

He shook his hand, rubbing the other hand through his quills as he moved away from their tree. I gotta calm down. If I don’t think clearly, I’ll disappoint The Chief… Or maybe… this is what The Chief meant by convincing me? No, no! They wouldn’t play me that way!

“Soler… I’m not a child anymore.” She asserted herself, stepping in front of him and cutting off his doubting thoughts. “It’s okay to kiss me. I don’t mind-“

“No, that’s not it! That kiss was amazing! Are you kidding me?!” His goofy side was coming out with his nerves, and she giggled at his response.

“Really..? It was my first…” she held her hands in front of herself, soaking in the praise and blushing with accomplishment. “But besides that… was it enough to make you stay?”

He froze, his hands still mid-motion running along the spikes on his head.

“…I just don’t think you’re listening to me.” He admitted, being honest. “I think all you hear is that I’m going away, but what you’re not hearing is that I’m coming back. For you, Luna. I’m going away and coming back for you.”

“You’re… leaving for me?” she decided not to argue about the ‘listening’ part, and instead, try and seek understanding.

“Yes!” he excitedly threw his hands up to his sides. “Yes! I want you safe! I want to make sure everyone is safe with me around! Do you understand, Luna? I want to stay, but I first have to make sure I’m safe.”

He put his hands to his heart, desperately hoping she’d understand now.

“You’ve seen my power before, haven’t you, Luna? Have you forgotten so quickly what I can do?”

“…You can… do incredible things.” She seemed to be understanding a bit more now, opening up to the idea more. This gave him strength in his resolve, but every fiber of his being wanted to reach for her cheek and pull her into another mutual kiss. He had to resist that urge though. He knew now he had to leave… tonight.

“But those things aren’t always incredibly good. They can also turn incredibly dangerous in seconds. I don’t have any control over it, Luna. What if one day—And I mean one day as in some day—I seriously hurt you beyond my current capabilities? What if, while I’m still growing up, my powers grow with me and I can’t take back what they do?”

Her face sunk into a look of hopelessness. “Do you really think it controls you?” she looked into his eyes.

“I have no idea what it is, or what it can do.” He admitted, moving up and finally letting his fingers curl around her cheek bones and place his forehead to hers. He closed his eyes, squinting them so hard he thought he’d burst into tears if he didn’t. “But I won’t let it happen. I’ll sharpen my powers. I’ll be someone who can save others. Not just on a fluke, but for real. I took a hit for you, remember? I really need you to take this one for me…”

He felt wrong pulling that out of the bag in such a way as he did. But it was his last resort. “Let me go, Luna?” he asked, so sincerely. “Let me go and be a good man.”

She gently… lifted her hand to his own and nodded, crying softly without words.

They stayed in the others embrace for a moment, holding one another as their emotions came back to a somewhat reasonable stability. After a moment of silence, Luna consoled herself and reserved her feelings. She looked back up at him, feeling him gently wipe her tears away with a soft smile on his face.

She finally spoke, “Okay.” She said lightly.

She held a long blink a moment, as if forcing herself to say it again. She opened her eyes and looked up into his again, “Okay…”

That night, Luna stood outside his small, roughly constructed hut the villagers had made for him as he gathered his things. He didn’t have much, but he needed supplies for a long journey. He didn’t give her a set time, not wanting to make any promises he couldn’t keep, but he did give her one last kiss. However, she pulled quickly out of it, not saying a word.

It lingered, that heartache from her silence and reserved attitude as he waved one last time down the track that lead to her home, the lively and pleasant village.

She didn’t wave back, she just winked with a forced smile.

“I’ll be back before you know it, Luna… Every time you see the sunrise-“ he pointed to the moon, “And every time I see the moon, I’ll be thinking of you.”

“…I’ll pray that the sun rises every day then.” She held her necklace tightly in her hand, holding in the words she really wanted to say. “Don’t go… don’t go…”

“I love you… I love you…” every time he wanted to look back, he took another step forward, uttering the words after her own silent pleadings.

She mouthed more of the same desperate longings for him to rush back into her arms, returning to her and forgetting everything he had said previously. But as he left earshot, heading off into the night, she could see each firm foot-fall at every step he dared to take. She knew then that he wouldn’t be tempted to turn back to her, and formed a strong face in the mist of her turmoil inside her heart.

She would be there when he returned, he just knew it.

He had to trust his gut.

But his gut was saying…

Don’t go.

---

Soler woke up with Sally hurriedly placing blankets on his head.

“H-huh?”

“Quick! Get me some hot water, anything to fight off the cold.”

“C-cold?”

“You idiot!” she saw he had awoken and placed her hands on her hips, stubbornly. “You fell asleep just before the winter night! Are you asking to get ill or something?”

He lifted a cold hand to his head, burning with a fever.

“Guess I was…” he joked, but Sally just rolled her eyes and then smiled at him.

“Well, how inconsiderate of you. Now we have to use precious medicine meant for emergencies on your slight fever.”

“Is it that bad?”

“I didn’t emphasize ‘slight’, did I?”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Then you’re not doing so hot.”

“Duly noted. Temperature?”

“What do you care? Your fever is your own doing. I’ll get a cold washcloth for your head, just don’t move from that spot, alright?” She was harsh, but there was always a loving touch behind each sarcastic jab.

I was almost thankful I got sick. Sally personally stayed by my side and nursed me. It was day two and she was making soup for me, waving off another freedom fighter from worrying about me. She said, “I’ll handle this one. You just make sure Nicole doesn’t overheat with all the decoding Tails and Rotor are making her do. Is Amy still with Sonic? Tell her he’s fine and he’s just being a baby. How about Shadow? You should tell him Soler’s fallen ill by his own accord. I don’t know, don’t ask me. We found him lying on a hill shivering in the absolute worst state last night. We would have never found him without Team Chaotix picking his signal up while searching for badniks.”

Soler smiled slightly, his eyes blinking a few times as he listened in on her voice while waking up to its worried tone, honing all his senses onto it.

Then she came in, making him nervous as he found he pulled the covers of the blankets up a bit before Sally saw he was awake.

With a kind smile, she put some food down and helped him sit up, “How are you feeling now? You gave us all quite a scare.” She slightly repeated herself, but this time, with a bit more care.

He didn’t really know how to tell her. It was on accident that he had fallen ill, but he was purposefully there to watch the moon…

“How’s the resistance?”

“The Freedom Fighters won’t give up, you know that. Much like how Sonic won’t quit complaining either.” She rolled her eyes before winking and leaning slightly closer to Soler, “At least you were knocked out before you could start whining, right?”

He snickered, “No one likes a cry-baby.”

“Ah, but everyone loves babies.” Sally joked again, “At least you’re being good. Anything hurt?”

“Nah, I’ll be fine.”

She surprised him by placing her hand on his forehead, checking his temperature and then comparing it with her own. She moved closer and lifted the hand away, placing it down for support as she placed her forehead up against his own. He wasn’t sure if it was the fever that made his cheeks feel warm or not, but she pulled her lips back into a fine line and ‘hmm’d at the results of her investigation into his temperature. “It’s going down, which is good.”

He stared at her for a moment, the closeness between them bringing a small pulse of joy to his soul. He had to be utterly still, worried if he moved, she would also move away.

“Sally…” he begins, but the second he says her name…

“Am I not good enough?”

“Ahgh…”

Soler was the one to pull away first, feeling himself falter as Luna’s voice pierced his mind from that profound memory he had dreamed again. He hated that he was the reason the closeness between him and Sally was unbreached, but couldn’t be disgruntled about it now.

“Soler?” Sally worriedly leaned back before reaching for him.

He raised a hand, gripping the other to his head. “I’m fine. I’m fine… Sorry.” He didn’t want to explain it, but it wasn’t the physical illness that was plaguing him.

All he wanted to do was ask her. Why did guilt grip at him so much?

He didn’t want to shame his memory of Luna, his first ever love. He didn’t know whether true love was a thing or not, but he didn’t want to believe he could never find it again either.

“…You don’t have to go, do you?” she looked up, and it broke his heart to see her so upset.

“…No.” he whispered, letting the word slip out of his mouth. “I want to go, though.”

I really want to go, Luna. Please…

“Soler… do you need some more medicine? Here, at least eat something.” She got the food and placed it in front of his ducked head. He nodded, slowly reaching for it as Sally went to get some pills, dipping them in some water as they sprang out into dust. She spun the cup around, letting the particles dissolve and seem to disappear in the water.

“It’s not gonna taste great.”

Anything to drown out the pain.

He took the cup and began to gulp it down, then ate at the warm soup and licked his lips at the lingering flavor.

He didn’t want to hurt Luna again… even if it was just the memory of her.

I’m sorry, Sally. He mentally scolded himself for listening to a memory. But he couldn’t… he couldn’t refuse her again.

“Let me go, Luna? Let me go and be a good man.”

“Hoo… if you ask me, we’ve all been overworked lately.” Sally sighed before sitting on a chair on the other side of the room, kicking a leg over her other and rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Everyone has been demanding so much of us… Eggman is relentless and Shadow and Sonic still haven’t made amends about their last ‘dispute’.” She looked a little strained… this would be the perfect moment.

“You need a vacation.” Soler politely stated with a hint of humor in his gruff voice, due to his condition.

“A beautiful girl like yourself shouldn’t be working day in and day out without some sort of afternoon walk.”

She looked up at him for a moment. After processing what he stated, she smiled and rested her chin on her hand, leaning on the armrest. “Yeah, and get a cold just like you? Becoming useless to everyone for two days..?” she teased with a friendly smile.

Were we… flirting?

“I couldn’t do a vacation, maybe a break though.”

This really was the perfect moment, but before he could try and push the memory of Luna aside, trying to delicately remind himself that she wasn’t even here… but was gone, he faded off into his fever. “Would be… kinda nice… to walk with… someone…again.” his eyes drooped and he finally receded back into his deep sleep.

“Soler? Soler, are you okay?” She stood up, “Soler!” She raced to his bedside, but he could feel the sleep coming on and knew the dream would only continue where it left off.

---

Fire.

Screams had already deafened out into silence.

Soler watched as Luna was killed right before his eyes, then a vile threat from the shadowed figure, unable to be identified through the haze of the smog from the village flames and the burning that blurred Soler’s eyes.

Why did I have to go?

After the terrible events, he held Luna’s body, desperate to sense life in it.

She was gone. Not a single word of goodbye or even a reunion from being gone so long.

His emotions couldn’t handle it. He just clutched her lifeless and bleeding body in his hands. The blood was hot on his hands, but he felt numb to it. The red only blurred in the sight of the massive fog moving like a carpet that smelled of burning flesh and wood.

His eyes were half open, squinting through the tears and stinging air. He could hardly breathe. His heart was smashed under the stress, not even wanting to beat anymore, but the adrenaline kept him alive.

Red… the sky soaked the world in an endless red.

Dawn.

When everything in him finally came back to reality, he carried Luna’s body through the ash-filled village; at least, what remained of it. He continued to walk as though a ghost passing through a memory. For a moment, the village was alive again. Young men and women walked at a leisurely pace to do their chores, and the elders of the village worked their wheels or cooked their meals safely tucked away in their little homes. Life was blissful and uneventful. Was that why I had to leave?

He was entranced in his vision before his eyes twitched when his foot bumped up against something.

Looking down, he noticed he had knocked a small doll to the side, but it slowly rolled back to look directly up at Soler. Its expression was singed with black soot. What have I done?

Of course it wasn’t Soler’s fault, but he fell to his knees, gripping Luna’s body and letting her blood dry on his white fur.

He crumbled in the center of the village, leaning forward all the way till his head rested just above her side, crying out a loud, grieving mourn.

His wailing chased the birds that came to eat the corpses away, cawing at his abruptness in the now stilled morning.

How long have I been like this? How much time has passed?

Crying out in such agonized pain, he felt his voice grow sore and losing itself.

More. I have to cry more. It’s not enough!

Some lasting flames still licked at the remaining and burnable woods, straws, and yarns that were all but dust by the time Soler had arrived.

Luna… Chief… the villagers…

Gone.

---

Soler flinched awake, gasping as he felt his breath fill with clean air again. Fresh, pine-smells from the forest outside blew from the window above his low-riding bed. The dews of the last rainfall lingered in the cool breeze as he tried to get his bearings again.

The heat of that morning… it was so vivid and tangible just a moment ago. It was immediately replaced by this… this peaceful and serene morning.

His sweat made him shiver, gripping the blankets and trying to rub them against his shoulders and arms.

He felt better physically, but there was still a fever deep in his memory… a fever of Neo Metal Sonic… a recalling of past events that were now, eternally, seared into his mind.

He hadn’t had that real of a nightmare for a while. He thought—maybe, his PTSD had finally passed. He wondered for a long time while taking his walks, reading his books, training in the forest, and on the mountain sides that perhaps he could live a normal life again.

That apparently wasn’t the case.

“Aughh…” he rubbed his head, wiping his nose on his glove and looking himself over. “I need a bath.” He stuck his tongue out, disgusted at the idea of him being asleep for so many days in the same, now sweat-soaked bed.

He flipped the sheets over and began to walk towards the bathroom. Gripping the hose from atop the makeshift shower, he washed himself down and cleaned his clothes the old-fashion way. All he had were his shoes and gloves anyway, he wasn’t as lazy and inconsiderate of other people’s time as some would have supposed.

After that… he just got up and went to look for something to do. If his mind was occupied, maybe his heart would be too.

Tails and Rotor… Sally had mentioned they were getting Nicole to work on some things. He wasn’t really tech savvy, but he could hold his own in a conversation if needs be.

He decided to head over there first, and wasn’t surprised to see Sonic and Shadow peering with different expressions at the results flying through the computer screen.

Yikes… Shadow looks concerned.

He was probably the only person alive who would read Shadow’s multiple frowns. Where one may say he’s angry, Soler would say he’s just thinking. Someone could accuse Shadow of being condescending, and Soler would politely suggest he’s just showing some tough love.

Amy once thought Shadow was being rude, but Soler calmly explained he was attempting humor.

Sonic would battle with Shadow through wit and brawns, but Soler just knew that’s how they got along.

So when he saw Shadow’s face, he knew he wasn’t ticked off by Sonic’s grin, but simply worried about the results he was reading.

“You’re being too rash, Sonic.” Shadow almost growled the words out, but there was a refined elegance to his stance. He pivoted a foot toward him, removing his folded arms to gesture one out to him. This action forced Sonic to look at the movement and pay attention to his words, which made Soler smile, because Shadow seemed to also have an understanding of how Sonic worked. “If we try an all-out, frontal attack with these numbers… Some of our people may not be coming back.” He tightened his fist, showing his resolve in not losing anymore comrades.

Soler tightened the line of his mouth, not sure what he thought of that statement. If Shadow’s concerned, then this next raid must be a big deal…

“What’s to worry about?” Sonic shrugged, still happy-go-lucky as ever. “We’ve got Nicole to figure out all the possibilities and she’s already confirmed what we need is in there. We just have to use some sneak and distraction to get it out.” He wiggled his fingers down and moved them swiftly to the side, as though stating the ‘distraction’ part would be a walk in the park.

Soler decided to lean on the door post, listen for further clues before possibly saying anything.

“…Nicole.”

The voice freaked him out a moment, leaning up again from his relaxed stance and turning to see Sally stride forward, placing herself between Shadow and Sonic. She really did look regal, positioning herself right between the two different opinions of these powerful men.

“Is that machine you found really worth all this trouble?”

Sonic put a hand to his hip, tilting his head to Sally as though hoping she would side with him, but looked up to see Nicole’s answer instead.

“… I’m so sorry, Sally. But if Eggman really does complete the framework and design that Tails and Rotor showed me… it would be devastating for the entire Freedom Fighting cause. Not only would he be trying to mass-robotize whole continents with this device, but the level of fire-power in these system outlines also concludes a possible, massive war-weapon.”

“Is he that desperate to know our location?” Shadow countered, but Sonic snickered a reply as quick as blue lightning.

“Nah, he’s through trying to find our many stashed bases all over Mobius. He’s ready to just blow it all sky-high and rebuild later!” Sonic’s attitude rubbed Soler the wrong way, and he finally stepped forward.

“You should be taking this a bit more seriously, Sonic.” Defending Shadow’s end, Soler watched as Sonic and the others turned to address him.

“Well, well. If it isn’t the moon-watcher.” Sonic smiled, raising an eyebrow. “You done with your ‘light cold’ yet?”

Soler knew he was teasing him, but he still felt a little insulted. His eyelids dropped halfway to show his unamused expression as Sonic twitched at his serious response.

“Geez, you usually love my quips.” He pfft’d. “Someone’s been hanging out with Mr. Grumpy Quills too much.” He looked to Shadow. “Your boy’s up.���

“He’s not a boy, nor mine.” Shadow glared to Sonic but stepped up to Soler. “Your timing couldn’t be more perfect. We’ve got an ideal mission for your abilities. We need someone to endure Eggman’s offenses while we storm his fortress. We’re after that.” He pointed back to the screen as Nicole showed the massive fighter ship, still under construction in some areas.

Nicole then materialized in front of Sonic and Sally, stepping boldly to Shadow and Soler. “Is this really a clear plan?” She questioned, looking sheepishly scared at Shadow’s suggestion. “He’s an able fighter, but…”

“What Nicole is trying to say,” Sally about-faced, moving over to Shadow and Nicole. “Is that Soler is inexperienced and can get a little emotional when coming to his full power.”

Soler looked down, a little embarrassed she was speaking this way about him.

“Then I haven’t trained him enough.” Shadow quickly looked back at him, a true teacher’s anger as Soler felt fear spike up his spine.

Shadow gripped the top of Soler’s head, “If your last little outburst didn’t teach you patience and reason, then I have no choice but to put you through the ringer…” he started to drag Soler out the door, and knowing how awful Shadow’s routines could be, Soler knew his struggles wouldn’t be enough to satisfy Shadow’s perfectionist views this time.

“Wait-!” Sally outstretched her hand.

Oh, thank Chaos!

Sally looked kindly to Soler, “…He just recovered. I’ll talk to him. I’m the leader of the Freedom Fighters after all. I’ll judge whether he’s really ready or not.”

Shadow gave her a stern look as he slowly released Soler’s head from his firm, killer death grip.

“Very well… but if he doesn’t amount to your expectations…” He folded his arms, glaring down at Soler, as if to say- Don’t disappoint me a second time.

Soler gulped. Even after all these years, Shadow still saw him as a hopeless child.

Sonic clutched his stomach and laughed, walking over and swinging an arm around Soler. “Man! You should have seen the look on your face!”

Soler pouted, “It’s not like you haven’t had a time where Sally’s saved your butt either, Blue.”

“Hahahahaha-Watch it.” Almost as if a tick on a clock’s hand, Sonic’s charming ways shifted to a serious look of humiliation.

“Heh. Men will be boys.” Sally shook her head and then waved for Soler to follow her. “Come on, Soler. I’m ready for that ‘walk’ now.”

Soler could feel a gentle but heated blush on his face, but Sonic leaned toward his cheek with a suspicious side glance, leering on the colorful pink of his face…

“Now, what’s this..?”

 “Ah! G-got to go! Can’t keep a princess waiting!” Soler quickly leaned away and dashed. Not wanting to be found out, he charged to Sally’s side.

Sonic seemed confused, but only thought about it for a moment before growing bored and shrugging it off.

Shadow walked the opposite direction away from the two, and Sally sighed after seeing him out of ear-shot. “That was close.” Sally breathed out.

“Huh?” Soler looked back at her, seeing her face light up with a short giggle.

“What do you mean, ‘huh’?” she lightly nudged his shoulder, “I mean I just saved you from Shadow, the drill sergeant.” She laughed a little more boldly now that the two of them were heading into the thick of the forest.

She touched her head and arched her arm in, really letting herself enjoy the feeling. “Man, I haven’t laughed that good in a while!”

He smiled, seeing her happy made him feel good, even if that laughter was directed at an odd circumstance…

“Hehe… What’s gotten into you, anyway? I thought you wanted to take a walk and not get involved in war affairs for a while.” She looked onward, but Soler just kept staring at her.

“That’s…” he finally looked away, uncomfortable about mentioning Sonic’s words.

“What? You really think I don’t know you well enough?” She raised a playful eyebrow, and for a moment, he realized she thought he was going to say something else.

“N-no, no. That’s not-“ Before he could say anything more, she suddenly quieted down and smiled. She closed her eyes and put her hands behind her back.

“…Hmm… Maybe I only imagine the parts of you I don’t know.” She looked up at the sky, lingering there as Soler was completely captured in how she looked. Her brown fur in the morning light made a blonde line around her body. Her red hair glistened and waved like grass along the hillside.

She finally positioned her gaze forward towards the continuing dirt path, a sorrowful expression taking root in her eyes. “I often think you’re this poor, misunderstood softie who just has a pretty hard-knock past… who doesn’t? But then I see you lose control like that… and I begin to see why Shadow takes you so seriously.”

He felt his mouth grow dry, nerves at what she was saying sinking in.

“I’m…” He looked away from her. “Dangerous, I know.”

“No, not that.” She quickly spoke out, but then corrected herself, “I mean, by all accounts, each member of the Freedom Fighters is possibly dangerous. Maybe you are destructive, but… So are the rest of us. In one way or another.” Her comforting, yet completely brash words made him slowly turn back to her.

“You’re not afraid?”

“I’m only afraid of what Eggman knows, and what I don’t know about what he knows.” She tightened her stare to a deeper resolve, and he knew he touched a nerve then.

“S-sorry.” He looked forward, realizing he should drop that subject…

She grew serious then, ducking her head down, walking with more precision and a stronger stride. “I have to be everything this resistance needs me to be… I can’t afford to be afraid. Only cautious and wise.”

Soler nodded, “I think I understand that.” He then saw the awfulness of war in her face, the sweet girl that had to pull everything back to be a vicious warrior who couldn’t pay the price of defeat.

He felt his hand reach for her, but withdrew it back to his side, rubbing his arm.

A pair of lips mouthed ‘Don’t go’ in his mind’s eye.

His eyes quaked and he froze a moment, shaking his head and gripping it to try and rid himself of the jarring memory.

“Soler?” Sally stopped walking and turned back to him, looking concerned. “Is something wrong? Was it something I said?”

He looked to her kind and compassionate expression.

…How could I leave you?

“Augh!”

Soler turned away from her, gripping his head with more force now. “Stop it!”

Sally looked confused, but carefully walked towards him with her arms out. “Soler… what’s going on? Are you hurt?”

I’m madly in love with you, too…

“Soler?”

“I’m… It’s a memory!”

“A memory?” Sally stopped, letting her foot delicately land in front of her for a second as she processed what he was saying. “Is this..?”

…Was it enough to make you stay?

“Augh…” he fell to his knees. “Luna… let me go. Let me be a good man… let me… move on.” He found himself curling up, his quills sticking out and shaking.

Sally waited a moment, but couldn’t stand watching him suffer like this.

“Soler.” She firmly stated, tightening a fist, “This isn’t real.”

His tearing eyes burst open, looking up at Sally who morphed with Luna’s image, coming towards him.

“It’s just a memory, right? It can’t hurt you, Soler… You’re not alone.” She gently sat beside him and then…

He could feel her touch.

He breathed hard, hunched over as he was, while she gently glided her fingers with a stroke against his back, lovingly calming and comforting him. “This must be a side I don’t know about you, yet.” She concluded, letting her fingers weave through his standing quills and gently encourage them to lower back down.

“I’ve seen Sonic in a cold-sweat, waking in a frenzy and heard him say it was all just PTSD from losing his uncle… But he got his uncle back… and those nightmares ended. I had almost forgotten that not all people are as fortunate.”

He looked up, and gasped when he saw a tear streaming down her face.

It was like a goddess weeping, her look of serenity. “I had to let my father and mother go, too… I often forget that feeling. It was like freedom and remorse all crammed into one, big heart.” She smiled gently as she blinked her eyes open, showing more tears falling from her strong, sweet presence.

He couldn’t help but stare, like a welcomed angel to help him through his grief.

He felt so embarrassed, having such a huge episode in front of her. He squished his face against the earth and rubbed himself into it deeper and deeper, wishing he could just barrow away and be left to his miserable self.

“I don’t deserve this.” Soler admitted, “… I deserved to die instead of-“ He found himself choking to say her name in front of Sally.

Sally seemed to understand that he didn’t want to discuss it, and removed her hand from his back, nodding with empathy. “Let’s not talk further about it then.”

She helped him up, letting him get his balance again before smiling up at him, “We can still have a nice walk after this, right?”

He was grateful for her humor, and nodded. “Please,… don’t end the journey on my account.”

She thought that funny too. “Journey? I suppose in many ways, it is.” She began to walk beside him again, just letting him catch his breath.

“…Soler, I want you to know…” she gently took his arm, seeing him stagger a moment. “I’m here if you need anything.” She looked up at him again. “Anything at all.”

For a moment, he could see a whole different world in her eyes. A world where there wasn’t death and mourning; a world where a beautiful woman and distraught man could walk through the woods and feel at peace by one another’s sides.

Then, there was a loud explosion.

The two turned immediately back to base, hearing shouting as they looked up.

Sally cried out, “Eggman! He’s already found us!”

A squadron of Eggbots and more elite soldiers suddenly dropped from the sky like metallic rain. They crashed into huts and homes, buildings and gardens, sparing nothing as they continued their onslaught.

“The plans must have been old. He’s already created his war ship!”

Soler’s eyes scanned the blasts from the robot army’s arm-canons and lasers sparking fires everywhere. The screams…

Everyone running around in horror…

He went to grip his head but stopped himself, shaking as his muscles twitched with rage and rising vengeance.

His eyes slowly narrowed down. He bolted forward, summoning his power within him and charging back to the hideout.

“Soler!” Sally wasn’t trying to stop him, only alerting him to her presence close behind him.

“Eeeevvvillll day, citizens!” A voice spoke through a speaker, ringing through the sky and to the ground. The EggCarrier was a fierce looking blimp with Eggman’s nose as its point, and his mustache as its sharp and spiked wings.

“Whohooho! Weren’t expecting company now, were you?!” Eggman’s booming voice fueled the emotions inside of Soler. He definitely didn’t care if his power was stable inside him at the moment. All Soler cared about was getting to that ship fast enough!

Suddenly, as if summoned by his desire to fight, Tails and Sonic were seen soaring at an angle in the X-Tornado. Seizing his opportunity, Soler pushed off and grabbed the tip of its wing.

“Woah!” Sonic looked to the side of him, seeing Soler.

A moment of unspoken resolve was sent across the space between them, and Sonic paused a moment to register the sheer determination in Soler’s eyes.

There was unfinished business. He needed to vent and he needed this fight. Now.

Sonic smiled, understanding the look in his eyes and lowering a hand down to him. “Well, come on then.” He spoke out calmly as Soler nodded, lifting an arm up to grip the wing better and grab Sonic’s hand.

He climbed aboard the wing next to Sonic and hung on with one hand tightly clasped down on the front edge of the wing.

He looked down to Sally, slowing her run as she gapped at his feat.

“…I’m sorry.” He lightly spoke out, but he saw her nod as though she understood the look in his eyes as well, and raced to help the village of Freedom Fighters.

“You tagging along, too?” Tails looked up and to the side, raising an eyebrow at the sudden appearance of Soler.

Sonic chuckled, looking back at Soler as he smirked.

He gave Tails a thumbs-up, “More like a stowaway. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Not at all!” Tails looked just as fired up, but maybe in a different way. He had been cooped up with Rotor and Nicole for so long… he probably needed to let out steam and give his head a break.

“Although, this is rather a tedious mission… You sure you can keep your powers under control?” Tails inquired, but Sonic quickly interjected for Soler.

“Shadow’s his teacher, right? I’m sure he’ll be fine. I’ve fought by Soler’s side plenty of times. He’s a bro!” Sonic winked and then looked to Soler, showing some confidence in the youth. “Let me ask you something.” He said this with a humorous tone in his voice, but also with one of sincerity. “That machine we were talking about before… the massive Robotizer… Think you can use that chaos of yours to good use?”

Soler thought about it a moment. He wanted to say, ‘Absolutely!’ but he was somewhat unsure.

After all this time, he was still scared of his abilities. But now, he wanted to take courage. He wanted to be more than his nightmares.

He glared towards the EggCarrier. “Leave it to me.”

“We need something strong and sure. You ready for this?”

“…I will be.” Soler felt every fiber of his being fill with chaos power. It was almost as if the power inside of him knew how desperately he needed to prove himself. He wasn’t a ghost of his past, he was still alive. He could still fight.

Tails began to warn them, turning the plane at a sharp right to have the plane perfectly adjacent to a loading dock where some of the robots were falling from.

“Jump off here! I’ll take some out before they hit the ground!” Tails hollered out.

“Good thinking, Tails!” Sonic looked to Soler. “Ladies first.”

Soler rolled his eyes and jumped. While Sonic chuckled and jump below him, Soler smirked and grabbed Sonic’s top quill. “Then,” he spun in the air to throw Sonic into a horde of marching robots that were about to fall below. “After you!” His tactical swing was so strong that Soler forced Sonic to instinctively spin into a ball, taking out the lines of robots like a bowling ball on the loading dock.

Sonic created a path as Soler began to punch and round-house kick stragglers who managed to dodge Sonic’s attack.

Sonic kept spin-dashing, coming back to homing attack any robots aiming for Soler as Soler let out a few Chaos Spears and then showered the area inside with a Chaos Hailstorm. “HAAAAAA!!!”

The robots were stabbed through and misfired, hitting the loading dock as its side became detached.

“W-woah!” Sonic unspun and put a hand to the unstable metal, seeing the dock slide off one hinge and begin to dangle a moment from the EggCarrier.

“Soler!” he cried out, grabbing his hand and swinging him up inside the blimp.

Soler slid inside, seeing a few robots fire at him and dodged as best he could while still on the ground and holding Sonic’s hand.

“Take… this!” with his torso straining, he flung Sonic up from the edge before the boarding dock detached and began falling towards the village. Luckily, the X-Tornado took out the falling debris to be less dangerous, and Sonic spun into more of the large army.

Soler felt a laser glaze his shoulder and another fire into his side.

“Awk!” He fell to a knee, not sure which area to grab first. “S…Sonic, get out of the way!” he felt his power charging. His fingers twitched. He was going for the machine…

The machine had just started to descend, a large panel on the blimp’s floor opened in a spiral as the robots were flung out of the blimp from the powerful winds.

“Hmmm!? And what are you planning to do!?” Eggman’s voice blasted in his ears.

“I’m going to…” Soler stopped speaking a moment, looking below as the wind began to scoot his feet towards the opened hole. “Grrk…” he gritted his teeth, trying to stay upright and not get sucked into the wind tunnel.

Sonic grabbed a bar near him and looked to Soler, straining to stay upright as well. “How much time you need?”

“I…” Soler felt himself faltering. The chaos power began to rage inside of him. What was he fighting for? He just wanted to get rid of all these feelings. It was too much on him.

What am I fighting for? Luna’s memory? A future for the Freedom Fighters? Why can’t I make up my mind?

Almost at once, he saw the machine turn on, wheeling two giant gears as the beam charged.

“Soler!” Sonic cried out, “NOW!”

He heard… but he couldn’t move.

His eyes shook.

Luna…

Chief…

Shadow…

Sonic…

Sally…

He closed his fist, then his eyes, and ducked his head. The power around him was growing in unusual strength.

“You didn’t have to do that…” she commented, fixing him up before tightening the bandages as he held in another painful cry, puffing his cheeks up with air. ‘Mercy…’ he thought to himself. She smiled at his cute attempt to swallow the air back down but knew what it all meant. “But I’m very grateful you did.” she held him in a stare for a moment, but it felt like a long while to him. Looking into her eyes… was like watching a constellation go by…

She turned with a blush, “So is my father-!” she chimed in, clearing her throat at her obvious nerves that spiked as he didn’t look away from her. “A-and my village! We’re all in debt to your sacrifice and-and…”

He shook his head, a softer side coming out of him as his face turned to one of hope.

“As long as you’re alright, that’s all that matters.”

“…Thank you.”

He could see the memory, but the voice was his own. He knew now. He knew what he was fighting for.

“Please… think of the real people around you… think of the hero you want to be… the one Luna saw in you… that day you saved her life.” Amy said.

His eyes flexed and his pupils dilated. He recounted taking that bullet for her.

His hand twitched, the light in it slowly fading away…

“Life is worth saving, Soler… Don’t throw your life away for one victory… that needlessly leads to further suffering and pain. We’d all miss you, Soler… we all love and need you so much…” she lowered her head, crying into his chest as the warm tears cooled his boiling rage…

“This isn’t a redemption anymore.” Soler smiled, looking up with a relief he hadn’t found in years. “I have people to protect again. I have a me I want to be. I’m not meant to mope around or sob over lost stories…”

“What?” Sonic looked a little weirded out at his spoken narrative. “Look, I’m all for redemption arcs, b-but… is now really the time!?”

“I had my repentance… I had my redemption… it’s time… to save everyone like Luna and her village! Those who don’t have anyone! I’m not as useless as I used to be! I’m strong now! I’m strong enough to save everyone!” He jumped, feeling the wind take him into the line of fire.

“S-…Soler!?!?” Sonic’s eyes widened, “What the… Soler!” thinking the worst, Sonic let go and dived for him.

He didn’t make it in time.

“It’s time for my origin to end… and my new beginning… to start.” Soler smiled, thinking back on the happy times, the good moments from his past and his present. The future… never looked more beautiful.

He saw Sally in his mind’s eye, he saw Luna next to her, happily cheering him on and then looking to Sally, smiling to her and then back to Soler.

“Thank you… Luna.” He let the power soar through him, “I’ll never stop loving you… but thank you for letting me love more than I ever thought possible.”

The laser blasted out its robotic chemical beam, but as the metal began to engulf his being, losing his will…

His chaos reversed, blasting out a Chaos Canon as he shoved his half-metallic arms up at the machine, crying out just before losing all feeling in his body. “CHAOS CANNNOOONN!!!”

A huge surge of a synergy burst spread throughout the blimp, the beam was cut off from reaching the ground.

Immediately, the machine began to be coated in an extra layer of metal, as though the chaos power reverted the effects onto itself, and the machine began to malfunction and finally…

KA-KA-KABBBOOOMMMM……!!!!!!!

The sound wave sent Sonic flying back to the side of the ship. “Offph!” he slammed against the wall, but refused to give up. Thinking his friend was in need of him, he got himself off the wall and pushed off, fighting the wind-force that was continually funneling him away instead of inside the gapping hole in the middle of the EggCarrier, the exact opposite of before.

Soler felt the metal slowly chip off his skin, being revived to his normal colors from the roboticization process. He had reversed the effects… this could be huge, but he didn’t have enough strength to dwell on it further.

He could feel something launch into himself and pull him out of the blast of the crippled machine, falling in pieces, being blown off and toppling through the sky, shot into dust by the X-Tornado.

His ears were ringing with deafness. His eyes glazed as the steel-like sight returned to normal and Sonic landed on the X-Tornado.

Everyone below… are they okay? I hear… cheering… Sonic… Did you save me?

As he came too, he thought he could see a Silver-quilled hedgehog. He reached for her, seeing only Luna.

“….You did well, Soler. I’m so proud of you. Thank you… for saving everyone.”

“L…Luna…”

“Hehe! You silly, hedgehog! I’m glad you’re not hurt. Do me a favor, okay? Don’t forget what you said… I won’t.”

“I… I will protect them… Luna. For you… and for all those… I care about.”

“Good. Don’t let me down, mister!” ”Soler!”

Sally’s voice broke the trance as he saw the image fade and Sally’s blurry image race through it, falling down to his side.

Was I already on the ground? We landed safely?

“Sonic! What did you let him do!?”

“Me?! Why is it always me?! I saved his life! He was about to die in the line of fire!” animatedly, Sonic looked a bit offended but let Soler down to the ground as carefully as he could. “Hmph, it’s not like you ever worry this much about me.”

“You don’t have cosmic power that could kill you!” she gave him a side glare.

Sonic sweat-dropped a moment and awkwardly shrugged, “But I got a willful soul to worry about…”

“Impulsive, impractical-!”

“S…Sally.” Feeling bad for Sonic, Soler redirected those beautiful blue eyes back to him again.

“Soler… Are you okay? What were you thinking? You could have been robotized or worse!”

“Heh,… Good to … see you too.”

She threw her arms around him, thankful as she tried to hold her emotions within herself. “I was so worried… that you would have become… another painful memory…”

This time, there wasn’t any flashback that would pull him away from her now.

He struggled to lean up, but he willed his body to do so, tucking an arm around her and holding her closer to himself. He rested his head next to hers, hearing her light gasp as she felt his presence more strongly now.

“I promise you, too, Sally… I will be a living memory of how merciful the world can be.”

Sally’s eyes couldn’t hold back the tears.

“Sorry to worry you.”

Sonic stepped back a moment, seeing the two’s interaction, he began to look a little worried himself…

“Is it just me… or did you two get a little… close all of a sudden?” He seemed a bit apprehensive.

Sally glared up at him, “At least he can openly talk deep with me. Unlike some boys I’ve dated.”

“Hey!”

It wasn’t long after that, when Soler finally found a safebox that he hand-painted himself, and put Luna’s necklace in it. He dug a pretty good hole near the hill he star-gazed and admired the moon on, placing the box in it and marking it as a much needed grave for her.

With her body so burnt up, there wasn’t much too bury last time… this was much more peaceful and freeing for him.

So many bodies… at least this was a proper farewell.

This is the least I can do for you… Luna.

He gently bent down and kissed the ground he had just thrown over the box. Leaning up, he looked at the sky, seeing no moon tonight…

“Sleep well… Luna.” He wiped a tear from his eye and walked back to town, hoping to help out in repairing the damages.

Getting back, he hoisted a log with others over his shoulder and began to carry it to its designated site… Then Sally caught his attention.

She seemed to be giving directions and orders, holding a clipboard and checking it often before giving anymore feedback.

He smiled, it gave him strength.

On the way back to get some more lumber, he noticed her wipe her forehead and sit down by a stump, looking exhausted.

It’s time.

He took a deep breath, shaking off the thought of how sweaty and gross he was from lifting and moving large logs all day. He approached her and offered her his hand.

She noticed the crossed black stripes that made an ‘X’ in his glove and looked up.

“I think it’s time for that vacation now.” He charmingly stated.

She smiled, accepting his hand and getting up. “You know… it’s been hard since I left Sonic, but… You’re different, Soler. I feel different with you. In a lot of good ways, n-nothing bad! Ohh…” she hid behind a hand, and the cute retreat from the comment made him blush with an even bigger grin.

“You just�� You let emotion sit with you and carry you to new discoveries, Soler. It’s one of the most powerful things about you, your quality of just… surviving through the strength you receive from your past. I know it must be painful, but I admire your strength so much…”

She saw that as strength!?

He was in complete awe at her words.

“I’ve noticed… how much you try and help. How dedicated you are to not losing another friend or fight. You always get up. You never just sink down so far that you can’t find yourself again… sometimes… I feel that’s exactly what I do.” She removed her hand and balled it up, looking away.

Soler then realized that maybe Sally was hurting in a different way from himself. His was a lot more physically affecting his life. Maybe… Sally’s was deeper inside, something that she would never let close to the surface.

His empathy for her skyrocketed, he couldn’t help but pull her a bit closer, move her hand from her face and have her turn to him.

She was amazed at his bold move, but it didn’t seem to miss its point…

“Sally… I don’t want you to suffer. Especially alone… Just like you told me, you can talk to me, too. You can rely on me. I’ve learned the hard way how to hold something in for so long, letting it fester and grow into something ugly and tragic… and I want to help you break out of that habit. It’s so easy to slip into despair… but the people we love don’t want us to feel despair. They want us to be liberated from the pains we hold onto. They want us to remember their best selves…” his voice was full of honest experience, of good intent, and of wisdom beyond his years.

Sally let out a soft sigh, lowering her eyes and letting a small, pleading smile escape her composure. “I like this about you, too… The side of you that lets people feel and experience pain… but also offering yourself to be apart of that pain so they can release it. I’ve seen you help others, but never help yourself. I wanted to help you, I just… didn’t know how.”

He looked to her hand, his around her wrist, and slowly… begins to bring his fingers up to hers and gently, sweetly… enticing them to let go of their tension and uncurl, letting him in.

“Sally… May I ask you on a date?”

She giggled, but looked to their hands intertwining.

“Yes. I’m excited to see what I say.” She teased, and Soler couldn’t help but let out a nervous chuckle. He was falling in love again, and it was different, just like Sally said.

But it was also very reassuring… and very… relieving.

“I’m excited to see where this new path takes me.” He holds her hand tenderly, and the two of them start to walk off together.

I’m so thankful… That I can now share my emotions with others. Because I have had this pain, I can understand them more than ever before. I can love more deeply, care more sincerely, and cherish those things that I’m allowed to keep. I can hold them close, closer to my heart than I was ever willing to do before. I won’t leave the places where I belong, or desert the hearts I have sworn to protect.

The two seemed very happy with their new relationship, watching it take form over the time they’ve shared together. Soler looked up at the spot where the moon would be again.

Luna, I will thank you till I have no breath left to utter, no thought left to think. You’ve shown me a better path and how to truly care about people. I’m sorry for what happened, but I will never be sorry for meeting you, the Chief, and your village. You helped me open up to the world, meet amazing people, like those that could teach me and those who could support me. They’re all such great people, you would have love them.

This time, He gripped Sally’s hand more, pulling his head towards her as she returned the kind gesture by letting her nose lightly bump against his own. A faint blush formed on both their muzzles. I’ll protect the things and people I love… under your watchful, relaxed, night sky’s eye…

The next day, the moon returned. It’s dark grey shapes shifted to look as though a smiling face…

( Here’s the song I’ll be referencing for this little wrap up >//w//< https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgmXPCX4VzU Photograph by Ed Sheeran)

Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes

Luna is walking behind Sally and Soler, her hands happily behind her back, laced together as she giddily follows them and then stops. She lifts a leg a little bit, swaying as she lets them walk off,… alone. But it's the only thing that I know… When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes It is the only thing makes us feel alive

Flashback to Soler having his nightmares, but he gets up and walks out to the hallways and knocks on Sally’s door. She opens it and immediately touches his head. It’s pounding and she lovingly kisses it, closing her door and holding his hand, walking out with him and cheerfully trying to take his mind off things to avoid further PTSD.

We keep this love in a photograph We made these memories for ourselves

Luna’s necklace still glows in the buried box, showing many shapes of the moon, time going by. Where our eyes are never closing Hearts are never broken And time's forever frozen still

A memory is shown with Soler, much younger, sitting on a hill next to Luna. Their two heads turn into each other, as if the village never burned and no one ever died.

So you can keep me Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet You won't ever be alone,…

wait for me to come home

There’s a flash of light and Soler is heading off down the road, he holds onto her necklace, he turns and sees Luna trying to keep face. He waves, and puts her necklace in his gloves. As he does, the world shifts to a blazing fire behind him, his eyes red from tears, his gloves dirtied from the many graves he had to dig…

Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul And it's the only thing that I know, know

It’s modern day again, Sally and Soler are laughing and enjoying a meal together. She holds up something for him to eat and he goes to get it with his mouth, but she pulls the fork away, playfully laughing as he pouts. I swear it will get easier Remember that with every piece of you Hmm, and it's the only thing we take with us when we die

He offers her the gesture, when she goes for it, he withdraws the food and kisses her. She embarrassingly flings back and then starts to playfully whack and throw food at him. He laughs and the food fight continues. Then there’s a shift to another time, the two sitting beside one another as their loved ones start to resurface as faded images behind them.

Hmm, we keep this love in this photograph We made these memories for ourselves Where our eyes are never closing Hearts were never broken And time's forever frozen still

The images show Sally as a child, with her loving parents and other friends she’s made and lost along the cruel way towards freedom. Soler has the Chief and Luna, along with many other faces of cheery people he met on his travels. A time where they never knew loss or heartache… but the memories are all pleasant, not a single one is sad or upsetting.

So you can keep me Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet You won't ever be alone

Soler helps Sally put her jacket on, she thanks him and takes up Nicole’s portable device. She turns to him and leans up on her tippity-toes. He does the same and she sighs, frustrated before they briefly kiss and she goes on a mission. He gets antsy, bouncing a bit before charging after her, swooping her up and rushing off on the mission with her.

And if you hurt me That's okay baby, only words bleed Inside these pages you just hold me And I won’t ever let you go

There’s a flash where Soler is holding Luna’s lifeless body, then suddenly he’s reaching for a wounded Sally… She reaches back to him, struggling to breathe as he shifts his chaos energy and blasts the area. Sally is unharmed as he picks her up. She smiles and touches her hand to his cheek, a single stream of tears starts down one of his cheeks, glad to see she’ll be okay. Wait for me to come home Wait for me to come home

Luna is playing hide and seek, peeking over a tree’s trunk as Soler chases after her. Wait for me to come home Wait for me to come home

Instead of Luna, Sally emerges to lean up against the tree, being caught by Soler as he slows the pace down and moves up to her, watching as she presses her back to the tree. He studies her eyes and then her mouth… leaning forward and closing his eyes…

Oh, you can fit me Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen Next to your heartbeat where I should be Keep it deep within your soul

Luna’s necklace is around Soler’s neck, he’s holding Luna’s hand, she takes her necklace back and kisses him, putting it on herself and holding it close to herself. It means the world to her. He nods, letting her keep it.

And if you hurt me Well, that's okay baby, only words bleed Inside these pages you just hold me And I won’t ever let you go

Soler wakes up from a nap on the same hill, star-gazing when he sees the bright full moon. He then looks over, worriedly for a moment, when he relaxes at seeing Sally sleeping silently beside him, just resting by him as well.

When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me

His memory takes him to Luna, but it rapidly flashes to Sally, sticking there. Under the lamppost back on Sixth  street

The two close the gap between each other, holding hands. Hearing you whisper through the phone

Sally chickens out and shakes her head, laughing and holding her hands to her cheeks. Soler tries to get in for one last kiss goodnight but she shakes a finger at him and starts to run off. He snaps his fingers, rushing after her back to the hideout. "Wait for me to come home"

His ear flicks, as if hearing something and turns to see the moon appearing to sit on the hill. Its shadow looks like a figure of a girl, Luna..?

Sally calls for him and he turns back around, sorrowfully deciding not to look back, but knowing time will heal the wounds left in his heart. He smiles and lovingly takes Sally’s hand as they walk back to the hideout. He kisses her hand and she lightly hits his shoulder, bumping her hip into his as though shy. He looks forward, unafraid and undaunted by the moon behind him.

He knew it was only saying goodnight to him.

FIN

[lovemesomesurveys]

[found at: joybucket]

When was the last time you did something for the first time? Hmm. My days are so routine and much of the same I don’t even remember.

Which do you prefer: Valentine's Day or Easter? Easter.

Do you wait until the last minute to decorate, or do you decorate early? I only decorate for Halloween and Christmas, though the past few years it’s just been Christmas. I like to start right after Thanksgiving.

What color bottoms are you wearing right now? I’m wearing black Adidas leggings with the 3 white stripes down each pant leg.

Do you love life?! No. I love my loved ones in my life and I am grateful for them and the things I do have, but I don’t have this lust or passion for life that I wish I did. I’m definitely not living it to the fullest, or really at all these past few years. I feel like I’ve wasted so much time. I don’t know what I want to do in life or what my passions are. My depression and other health stuff have taken over and hardened me it seems. :/ 

What's your favorite Starbucks drink? For a little over a month it’s been a peppermint white chocolate mocha. I’ve literally had one like 4-5 times a week. Prior to the holiday season I definitely wasn’t getting Starbucks that often, so I don’t know what sparked the sudden obsession but I’ve been obsessed. I’m hoping they have the smoked butterscotch latte this year, which should be coming out soon and will be next go-to. Other times in the year I typically get a caramel macchiato or white chocolate mocha. I often buy the Starbucks Doubleshot coffee energy drink from the store, too. The white chocolate one in particular. 

What were you wearing in the last good selfie you took? It wasn’t good, but the last selfie I took was on NYE and I was wearing a Baby Yoda/Grogu sweatshirt and leggings, but in the photo I had my rose gold throw blanket wrapped around me.

What's on your wish list right now? Christmas just passed and I certainly haven’t started one for this year yet. Or for my birthday, which is months away. I can’t think of anything right now.

What do you use to sweeten your tea? A packet or two of Sweet n’ Low.

Which dollar store do you like best? I don’t have a favorite one. I rarely go there.

Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? No.

What's one challenge you want to complete for YouTube? None. I don’t make YouTube videos.

If you make YouTube videos, do you have a posting schedule? --

When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? Leaving the house during a pandemic, which thankfully and fortunately for me is only once a month. 

How would you rate your self-esteem? low, healthy, or high? I’m just a sucker with no self-esteem.

Do you own a tripod for your camera? No. I don’t have a camera, I just use my phone to take photos.

Would you rather go to London, Paris, or Tokyo? Either London or Paris.

Were you a bigger fan of Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff? Ha, the previous question made me think of that Hilary Duff song. Anyway, I’d say Hilary Duff.

Which Olsen twin was your favorite: Mary-Kate or Ashley, and why? I didn’t have a favorite one, I liked them both. I watched all their movies and TV shows growing up.

Do you make Halloween costumes out of clothes from your closet? I have a few times before.

Do you enjoy putting outfits together? I used to put effort and thought into that, but now I just throw something on lol.

Would you rather it rain or snow? I wish it snowed here.

What does your umbrella look like? I don’t have one.

What color are your nails painted? They’re not. I haven’t painted my nails in years.

Are your nails always painted? Well, no. 

What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? Tangerines.

Do you wear headbands? No.

Do you own a boho bandeau? No.

Which do you prefer: cropped tops or tunic tops? I don’t wear either of those.

What's a style or trend that you think is ridiculous? I don’t understand why Crocs became popular. I remember when everyone thought they were ugly and typically they were only worn by doctors because they’re apparently really comfortable. Then there was a shift in recent years and people love them now?? They even have different pins to decorate them with that you stick in the holes (kjfksldklsd that word).

Which YouTuber do you want to be more like? There’s not one particular one, but there’s a few whose personality traits I’d like to have.

Do you wear jeggings or leggings more? Leggings all day, everyday.

^Same questions, but jeggings or skinny jeans? I’ve only worn legging the past few years, but before that I would have said skinny jeans. Those are the only jeans I have and would wear.

Do you like stuffed animals? *looks around my room and sees the shit ton of giraffe stuffed animals all around, along with several other plushies* Yeah, you could say that. 

What was your favorite class in high school? English.

Have you ever gotten straight A's in a class? If so, which classes? Yeah, English for sure and some others.

Were there any subjects that you got a perfect SAT score in? If so, what? I didn’t take the SATs.

What's the best coffee shop in your town, in your opinion? I just go to Starbucks. Judge me all you want. 

Are you happy today? No.

If so, what made you happy today?

When was the last time you woke up to a beautiful sunrise? For the past year I’ve been up past the sunrise everyday.

Is your bed right by a window? It’s right across from it.

Do you spent more time in your bedroom or your living room? My room.

Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? Christmas, for sure.

Do you decorate for holidays? Just Christmas the past few years, but I do have Halloween decorations. To be honest the past 2 years I kept my Christmas decorations up in my room. Not sure why I didn’t put up the Halloween decorations the other times. I want to put away my Christmas decorations and decorate for Halloween this year.

What craft project do you want to do next? I don’t do crafts.

Do you name stuffed animals still? A lot of my giraffes have names.

Do you still own your favorite Barbie? I still have my Barbies and their accessories stored away.

What was your favorite Barbie? I just loved Barbies.

Favorite Bratz doll? I didn’t have a favorite. I was a little old when those came out, though I did have a couple. I just wasn’t into them like I was Barbies.

Favorite American Girl doll? I didn’t have one.

Favorite Disney princess? Ariel.

Favorite cartoon character? The Rugrats crew.

Are you rebellious? No, I’m like the least rebellious human on the face of the Earth. <<< Count me in as well.

What's the most rebellious thing you've ever done? Smoking weed was a big thing for me. 

What's your favorite thing about yourself? I’m not a big fan of myself, particularly the person I’ve become the past few years.

Have you ever celebrated Valentine's Day when you were single? I’ve always been single on Valentine’s Day, so. It’s really just another day, but there were a few years I specifically got my favorite candy or sweets and watched a few rom-coms on that day. 

What's your dream date? I think a Disneyland date would be cute.

If you were dating a guy right now, where would you want him to take you? Nowhere, ha. Just get me takeout and a Starbucks and we can chill at home lol.

Is there a guy you regret letting slip away? Yes.

Are you a guy or a girl? I’m a female.

Are you more boho, girly, edgy, sporty, or hipster? My style is comfy casual. I live in leggings and oversized graphic tees.

Which stereotype do you fit the most? Uhh.

What titles did you win in the senior class polls? None.

Were you popular in school? Nope, not at all. 

If you won a car, what color would you like it to be? Red or blue.

Do you wear hats? Yeah. Do you ever put your hair up in the winter? I always have my hair up. I don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything with it so it’s easier to just throw it up.

Do you have bangs? No.

^If not, have you ever had bangs? Yeah, from when I was like 1 until I was like 20, which at that point I transitioned into side bangs. Now I have neither. I’ve actually been kinda wanting to get bangs again, but ehhh.

How many siblings do you have? I have two brothers.

Do you have any family members that you've never met? Yes. If you're from the US, what states have you lived in? Just California. 

Who was your best roommate? Haven’t had one.

Was your first roommate your best roommate? ^^^ What's the best family vacation you've ever been on? Disneyland vacays.

Do you have a Mac or a PC? Mac.

Do you use iMovie? No, but I did in the past before.

What's your dream job? I don’t have one.

What types of YouTube videos are your favorite to watch? ASMR, vlogs, lifestyle.

Which do you watch more: TV, YouTube, or movies? YouTube, followed by TV, then movies.

Do you prefer books or movies? I enjoy both, but I definitely read a lot more.

Have you ever wanted to be a model? No.

Are you cold right now? No, I’m kinda warm.

What do the last pair of pants you bought look like? It was a pair of leggings, surprise, surprise. They were Halloween leggings.

What store(s) do you do most of your shopping at? Boxlunch and Hot Topic.

What style of wedding dress is your favorite? I don’t have one.

What years did you attend prom? Just senior year.

What color is the last sweater you wore? Dark blue.

What do you want to be for Halloween? I don’t dress up or go anywhere anymore.

What is your name, and what are the different spelling variations of it? My name is Stephanie, I’ve seen people spell it Stefani and Stefanie.

Do you like your name how it's spelled? Yeah.

Would you change your name if given the chance? Nah.

Did you ever want to be famous? When I was a kid it seemed like it would be fun. Ha, I remember I used to practice my signature. I’d pretend I was giving out autographs lol.

Would you ever want to be famous now? Noooo.

Who are the cutest babies you see on Facebook? A few of my Facebook friends have babies.

What would your name had been if you were born the opposite gender? My mom said Jesse.

If you had a twin of the same gender, what would his/her name be? I have no idea.

What is your first and middle name? All ya need to know is Stephanie.

What year were you born? 1989.

How old does that make you? I’m 31.

[michellekelly666]

Just the Thoughts of an Overheated Mind

Published on notathoughtgiven.com November 2014

This morning it was up earlier than usual.  Even though we had a new refrigerator, we still needed to get the old one out and rearrange things for the new one.  Getting the old one out seem pretty easy.

Put it out on the back porch for now through the laundry.  Sounds easy enough especially when I had a trolley to help me and my wife do it.  But the problem is in the details.  Make mental note to myself that I still haven’t changed those tires on the trolley yet and the refrigerator is too heavy for a trolley with tires that have leaks and no air pressure in them.    No problem just “walk” the refrigerator out.  That is until I reach my nemesis, the washing machine when it comes to moving appliances in and out of the house.

When we first move into this house, the washing machine died.  Not exactly died.  It was fine if you didn’t mind grease from the shaft bearing all over your clothes.  It was replaced by a really fine washing machine that I love for washing clothes.  Just a pain when it comes to moving things in and out of the house with its curved front and the closet directly across from it.  Yes for those people thinking why I don’t move the washing machine away from the closet so its not a problem well it cannot be move considering what passes for a laundry room in this house.

I have two choices go through the laundry and try to squeeze things between the washing machine and closet or use the front door.  Front door is fine except for house being on a hill and a steep stairway from the driveway to the front door.  So out through the back door and laundry it will be every time.

Sure enough the refrigerator became stuck between the washing machine and closet.  Manage to get it through after some serious pushing and tilting back and forth.  But then the next problem came getting the refrigerator at the right angle to line up with the door in that narrow spot.  My wife asked me how I was going to do that and I was getting really anger and fast.

You see visually in my head I had this perfect plan for doing it.  But to articulate that plan to my wife proved to be a real challenge for me.  I wasn’t getting frustrated and anger with my wife but just trying to describe what my plan was what was doing it for me.  The same thing works in reverse.  Someone can tell me their plan for moving or organizing something and it will not make sense to me.  Its like the their is hard time translating between the visual that my mind understands and the words that are used for communication.

That is why I usually avoid help when it comes to moving and organizing a room.  If its only me then I can see in mind how I am going to do it and do it.  I don’t waste time with the translation of what I see to words so someone else can help me or vice versa.  SO no I don’t like doing things myself or risk injury it just easier for me.

I was thinking about that and my moving experiences when I recalled a moving experience from about 25 years ago.  Me and my first wife moved out of the apartment we had to relocate to another city.  She seem to disappear that day we where going to move everything from the apartment into the moving van.  Which suited me fine because I didn’t want her around anyway.  Yes our marriage was seriously on the rocks at that point.  I didn’t know anyone well enough that would help me (we had only been there for a few months).  So it was all up to me.

I got creative when moving stuff.  I would take it down the three flights of stairs to waiting shopping cart at the bottom.  The shopping cart was my trolley to move it over to the moving van.  If your willing to put up with a few scratches on things then moving down the stairs is not that bad.  That is until I got to the couch.  That bloody heavy couch with the hide a bed in it.  It was one part of a set that made this long couch.  The other parts where not bad as they where light and easy to get down the stairs.  The question is how did get that part of the couch down the stairs on my own.

That is a good question indeed that even I don’t know.  I know I did it.  I did it without injuring myself or damaging the couch.  I just cannot recall.  Maybe I don’t what to know the risk I took to myself getting it down.  Maybe I had some power that I don’t know about that I made it magically appear at the bottom of the stairs.  Who cares the job was done :P

Funny considering three months later I separated from my wife. A neighbor got it for free when I moved out with the only condition being that it would be gone by the time I got back from work.  Otherwise I was going to take an axe to it and not deal with moving it again.  It is truly amazing how much people all of the sudden have time to help you move out when your giving away stuff for free :P LOL  Well it was better to give it away to total strangers than let my ex have it in the divorce.  Yes I was spiteful at the time.

I reached a milestone on this blog with my last post.  One hundred posts posted on it.  Well not that much of a milestone given that about 70 of those posts where from my old blog that I copied over to this one.  Regardless that is a lot of writing considering the normal length of my posts.  I would never thought those years ago when I first started blogging that I would keep it going long enough to reach 100 posts.  After all writing was hard and I was self conscious at first about what people think of what I wrote.  Now I don’t care at all and just write whatever comes to mind no matter how many words it takes me to do it.

Which brings me to a new goal in my writing.  It would take some time and I have to build up my writing muscle and endurance to reach it.  But I have faith in myself to do it.  The goal is to make this word counter at the bottom of the post editor roll over.  Yes a ten thousand word post.  Who would read such a long post?  The better question is do I care? No I don’t to be honest.  Just have a goal and if I put my readers asleep in the process of making it then all the better.  At least I created something that can be put to good use :P LOL

One last thing before I publish this post.  I was in a philosophical mood this afternoon.  You know those moods that have questions like “If a tree falls in the wood and no one is there to hear it does it make a sound or is air just displaced by the tree falling?” Anyway the questions that came to mind where “Do all mistakes need to be corrected?  If a mistake is not corrected is it really a mistake?”  I will save for another post why I was thinking along those lines.  The conclusion I came up with it is that it all depends on your perception.  After all it may seem like a mistake to one person and therefore needs to be corrected while another person may not see it as a mistake therefore nothing needs to be done.

Its like the tree failing to me.  One person may say it doesn’t make a sound since no one is there to hear it.  Another person may say it does make a sound because air is being displaced.  Which one is right?  Sure we can use scientific principles and say the second person is right.  But how do we prove it?  No one is there to hear if it does make a sound or not.  By being there anyway we invalidate the question.  So which person is right.  I guess it depends on what you need as proof to come to what you think is the right answer.

Ok now I am rambling along here or maybe I just trying to write a longer post in an effort to work up to that 10,000 word post.  What is my real motivation here?  Well I will let you decide for yourself.  It doesn’t matter it is a long post regardless of my reason.  It is finally cool enough to go to sleep now.  Cannot believe how hot it was today.  No stop Michelle right now before you go on about the heat today. :P