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harrysxcarolina · 2 days ago
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sweet lil secrets
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b. eilish; don't worry, i won't tell pt 2
pt. 1
warnings: wlw, soft!billie, top!billie, costars, no plot, cussing, smut, fem!reader, slight teasing, flirting, half proof read...
Quickly tying your hair up out of your face as you plop down in your hair and makeup chair glancing up in the mirror seeing yourself for the first time in the last couple hours. Definitely not expecting it to go the way it did. A small smile works its way across your cheeks. Your hair is disheveled and all over the place. Your cheeks are bright pink while your lips are slightly swollen from the scene you just encountered. Your heart is still slightly beating against your chest as your mind replays Billies soft whimpers. You can still feel the pressure of her against your burning skin. Softly tracing your skin with your fingertips as your bottom lip gets captured between your teeth. 
“Please keep touching me.” 
“You feel so fucking good baby.”
The soft knocking against the metal door pulls you out of your thoughts. Shaking your head as you quickly get up and go to open the door. Eyebrows furrowing as you take in the dark haired girl standing bashfully on the other side of the door. Her hands lay at her sides, her fingers gently tapping along her thigh as her hair gently blew in the warm breeze.
“Hi.” You say with a coy smirk. Looking up at you through her lashes she matches your small smile. Whispering a soft hello in return. The sun brightens the blue in her eyes as her cheeks heat up at your stare. Your tongue swipes across your lips as you invite her into your trailer.
“How ya feeling, Eilish?” You ask with a smirk as you plop back down into your chair crossing your legs as you hold your gaze on her. Slightly rocking back and forth on her heels as her hands dig deep into her sweatpants pockets. The sweats are barely hanging on her hips. Her shirt slightly bunched above her waistline showing off her porcelain skin and the tattoo that permanently lays along her lower torso. Her dark locks cascading down her back as her bangs fall her vision. 
Her bottom lip falls between her teeth as she tries desperately to fight back her bashful and slightly embarrassed smile. “Good. Uh-“ Her bottom lip captured between her teeth, eyes dropping down your body before working their way back up to yours, “really good.” She states as she kicks the tip of her shoe along the floor as she reaches up to run her fingers through her hair cheeks heating up at her confession. 
“Good, I’m glad.” You reply as a chuckle leaves your lips. Her fingers fumbling with the rings lining her hands. 
“So what do I owe the pleasure?” You ask motioning for her to take a seat. Taking a deep breath as she makes her way to the little loveseat across from you. Bouncing her leg anxiously as she nibbles on her bottom lip. Trying to find the words to explain what had happened only just moments before. 
“I just wanted to say that I was sorry and that it was very, actually extremely, unprofessional of me.” She states quickly as she clasps her hands together in her lap in hopes that it would seize the butterflies raging in her tummy. Her gaze avoids yours as she taps her foot. The soft taps echoing in the small trailer. The sunlight peeking through the window shining against her blue orbs. Her dark lashes make them brighter each time she blinks as she slowly brings her stare to yours.
“Don’t stress it.” You hum standing up and moving to sit next to her. “I guess it could happen sometimes.” You state with a shrug as her eyes follow you. You don’t miss the way her breath hitches as she notices the very little amount of space between the both of you once you sit down next to her. You can practically feel the heat radiating off her body as her cheeks turn a bright red. A small smirk plays on your lips as you lean a tad bit closer to her. The tension thick in the air as your shoulders barely brush, your free hand reaching up and tucking her loose bangs behind her ear. Her cheeks once again heat up at the intimate touch as the tip of her tongue glides across her lips. A soft chuckle leaves your lips.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone Billie-“ you whisper as your fingers brush gently across her cheek. Feeling her burning skin beneath your fingertips as she carefully leans into your touch. Her eyes closing as you trace your fingers down her jawline. The pause between you both lingering only for a moment before Billie felt the heat of your breath on her ear as your hands snaked their way around her waist. Slightly tugging her closer to your side. Your fingertips teasing her skin as you trace right above the waistline of her sweatpants. Her head falls back against your shoulders as you slowly slip the tip of your middle finger inside. Tracing her skin feeling the way her breath gets caught as you find the lace of her underwear. Her eyes clenching close as her hand grips the edge of the loveseat. 
Smirking against her neck, “I won’t tell anyone how you lost yourself over my thigh. How you begged me to keep touching you-“ your finger slips under her lace thong finding her clit as the tip of your tongue teased her earlobe. Her hands quickly grip your arm through her pants as her hips buck unintentionally. Holding your hand perfectly still as she fights her chest heaving up and down. Her breathing was harsh and loud in your ear. Her mouth dry as she feels her heart racing against her chest.
“What a beautiful whimpering mess you were Bils-" you whisper as you tilt your head to look down at her. Her body completely fell into you. Head drawn back with her red swollen lip between her teeth trying desperately to fight back the moans wanting to escape. Her dark hair fanning out across your shoulder as her head lays completely against you. The tint of her cheeks rosy and pink as her eyes fight to stay open. Your eyes trace every line, freckle, curve along her face leading you to her lips. god you wanted to kiss her so bad.  
“Tell me, who made you that wet Billie?” You question as you trail your lips along her neck. Your finger slowly but firmly circling her clit. Her hips fighting to buck against your fingers but your arm wrapped around her torso stops her movements, her grip on your wrist tightening as your teeth sink into her neck. Her moans sound like sweet melodies in your ears as your fingers slowly work themselves into her wet folds. Your fingers squeeze her hips as your smirk grows along her neck.
“Who made you such a whimpering mess?” You ask soft and sweet as you capture her earlobe between your teeth. “Holy fucking shit-“ she moans as your words seep into her burning skin. “You. You did. Please-“ Billie begs as she desperately tries to grind up against your fingers. Her free arm encloses around the back of your neck pulling you tighter against her body. Your head now deep in her neck leaving your mark all along her flush skin as her fingers tangle deep into your hair.  
Chuckling, “is that so sweet girl? Who would have thought?” You hum as your fingers tease her folds feeling her wetness seeping through your fingers. You couldn't stop your mind from going wild with all the ways you wanted to continue to make her whimper and moan more.
“Fuck Billie-“ you moan loudly. “You’re so fucking wet already.” Without thinking your hips rut up against her ass at the thought of you being the cause of her being this wet. The fact that you got her off during a scene and it was definitely not scripted was a shock in itself. 
Yeah you guys flirted and teased each other, but you didn’t think it would lead to this. Leading you to being the cause of her whimpering state. Billie had a naturally flirty personality. She unintentionally flirts with everyone. Always making people laugh and welcoming them into the group. It felt natural between the both of you. 
Billie couldn’t take it anymore. Removing you from her grip she quickly spins around, trapping you against the loveseat. Her hand firmly gripping the cushion next to your neck, the other tightly gripping your hip. Pinning you between her and the cushions. Your ragged breaths match as her icy orbs stare down at you. Her thigh sliding its way between yours firmly, pressing it against your aching core. Your eyes roll back as a soft moan leaves your lips, her grip on your hip tightens. Her hips bucking against yours as she lowers herself into your neck. 
“If you grind that pretty little pussy of yours against me again I can’t promise that I won’t fuck you senseless later.” Billie seethed against your neck as you felt her hot breath sliding across your skin leaving goosebumps in its trail. Her teeth graze your skin as she flexes her hips against yours. A deep moan leaves both of you. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this.” She mumbles into your neck. "How long I've wanted to explore every inch of your body. All the long nights on set. All your teasing looks. God, you've been driving me mad." Her words drip down your skin like warm honey as your back arches into her touch.
Your hands reaching up and tangling themselves into her hair. Pulling her flush against your lips as your hips buck up grinding against her throbbing heat. Her hand grips your hips tighter as she works her hips against yours. Lips tangled together as your heads tilt deepening the kiss. Her hand working its way down your body feeling the way you’re reacting to her. Every breath, whimper, every shake and groan. All because of her now. She wanted to devour every inch of you. 
Pulling apart to catch your breath, your chest heaving up against hers. Her forehead lands on your shoulder as her fingers flirt with your waistline. “You were toying with me out there,” she grumbles against your shirt. “With your teasing tone. You soft touches. Your little whimpers.” She whines as she lays a wet kiss along your collarbone. Working her way across the collar of your shirt. Her teeth captured it tugging it signaling she wanted it off. Sitting up and quickly pulling it over your head and tossing it to the floor. Your hair falling down your back as she gently pushes you back down. Wasting no time tracing her lips across your cleavage that was being pushed up by your bra. Groaning against your skin as she leaves gentle love bites in her wake before working her way back up.
Her lips brushing against the shell of your ear as she lets her hot breath trickle down your skin. Causing a shiver to run down your spine. “Now it’s my turn to play with you.” She moans. Her hands snapping the waistline of your pants against your lower torso. Your head leaning back against the couch as you urge her to take them off arching up into her touch. Gliding the material down your thighs as her eyes follow in their trail. Lip stuck between her teeth as she watches you lift your hips sliding your underwear down shortly after.
Her hands dance their way back up your thighs as her gaze meets yours. Her stare is intimidating as you fight the moans desperately trying to escape your swollen lips. Her grin grows as her fingertips trace the outline of your core. Barely brushing against you leaving you begging for more. Her lips hot on your skin as she kisses her way down your body. Stopping briefly to show appreciation to each one of your breasts before she works her way down your torso. Teeth grazing every so often as she flicks her tongue across your skin. Moaning as the saltiness of your body. Her fingers continue their tease as she taps her fingers lower between your folds. Her moans send vibrations throughout your core as she slowly sinks the tip of her middle finger into your cunt. 
Grasping the baggy shirt dangling in the space between your bodies, your hips rut up into her touch. Mouth hanging open as her head hangs against your shoulder. Her breathing ragged as she feels you quivering under her touch. Her hips gliding across your thigh as she thrust her finger completely inside you. Brushing against your walls deliciously as you rotate your hips trying to spread the friction you were craving. Sliding your hands up under her shirt. Making quick work to unclasp her bra and grope her swaying breasts. Her moans loud and raspy in your ear as you squeeze and toy with her breasts. 
Flirting with her nipples as you twist and pull each one between your fingertips. Losing yourselves in the rhythm of your hips, your lips crashing together. Tongues grazing and teeth pulling each other's lips. Neither one of you is willing to forfeit the battle for dominance. Groaning in each other's mouths as Billie works another finger deep inside you. Twisting and rubbing against all your spots as her thumb works your clit. Grinding your hips harder against her fingers as your hand works its way deep into her locks. A deep raspy groan leaves her lips as you tilt her head up. Breaking up the kiss as you force her to look at you. Her eyes were wild and wide. Her cheeks are a deep red and her lips were a soft pink. Swollen and begging to be kissed as she looks down at you. Your harsh breathing matches as you lick your lips a smirk working its way across your cheeks. 
Her lips are mirroring yours as you softly whimper your request in her ear. Her eyes rolling back as she bucks her hips against yours. Sliding her fingers out and between her lips as she tastes you for the first time. Making sure to not miss a drop as she glides her tongue across and between her soaked fingers. Eyes locking with yours wearing an evil smirk noticing the way her eyes darken as she glides her hand up your torso. Feeling your warm skin beneath her fingertips as she works her hand to unclasp your bra. Removing your bra completely before gripping the hem of her own shirt and tossing it somewhere behind her. Your eyes grow wide as you watch her slowly slide her bra straps the rest of the way down her arms. Her breathing is soft and steady as she reminds you to keep your gaze. Demanding your attention as she slowly slides her sweatpants to the pile. Her fingertips hooking in her lace thong as she sways her hips, wiggling the material down her smooth skin. 
Your request is still on her mind as she slides down off the couch and between your thighs. Her hands gripping softly as she slowly aids them open. Leaning down and brushing her lips against your skin. Teasing you as she glances up at you through her lashes. Her tongue glides across her lips before scattering kisses along your inner thigh. Your back arching off the loveseat as your hands grasp your breast. Squeezing and pulling as you rut your hips up silently reminding her where you wanted her. Her grin grows as she continues taking her time kissing every inch she can reach. Her lips venture closer to where you need her; you feel her fingers squeeze your thigh. Flexing her hand as the cool metal of  her rings leaves a chill shooting down to your core. 
“Billie please!” You whimper and beg as you slouch further into the couch. Arching into her grasp as her lips make their way to your core. Your toes barely reach the floor as you feel her hot breath fanning across your drenched core. Her arms looping around your hips pulling her fuller off the edge. Her tongue peaking out between her swollen lips as it flicks gently across your aching bud. Your nerves were on fire. Every single touch had your body firing electricity from the tips of your toes to the tip of your nose. Her teasing flicks against your aching bud had your hips frantically and shamelessly grinding against her wet talented tongue. She gently squeezed your hip as she finally captured you between her teeth and sucked on you until you swore you saw stars. 
Panting as you aimlessly look for something to grab onto. Reaching one hand down and tangling it deep into her dark locks as you guide her mouth completely against you. Her groans fill the room as she sucks, licks, and nibbles at your core. Working her tongue and fingers perfectly against you as she slides two deep between your folds.
Hitting that sweet spongy spot deep inside you perfectly over and over again as her thrust get deeper and harder. Her tongue and lips sucking your clit as you moan out her name. Whimpering and moaning as you work your hips against her face. Her icy blue eyes staring up at you as her tongue sticks out. Slipping between your folds and swallowing every single last drop you were offering as she watched you get closer to your orgasm. 
Her lip between her teeth as her arm flexes and her grip on your thigh tightens. “Fuck, do you know how good you look right now.” Billie groans as she moves her free hand up your body. Taking her time as she runs it across every inch. Caressing your body as if you were made of glass. Her fingertips dance across your skin as they reach your under boob. Your breath catches. Her fingers continuing their sweet torture inside you as she curls them just right. Your hips rutting against her hand as your hands reach for her neck. Pulling her up and flush against you as her breast rubs up against yours. Breathing heavy in your ear as she quickens her thrust causing your fingers to dig into her skin. 
Your ears ringing as your legs clench around her digits. Her arm sliding up under your back and holding you tighter against her as her lips search for yours. Tangling together in a sweet kiss as you feel your body start to crumble under her. Your hands gently cupping her cheeks as she straddles your thigh. Her fingers never faulting as they cause the familiar tingles to start building deep in your belly. Moaning against her lips as you feel her gentle sway of her hips. 
Her wetness spreads across your thigh causing you to pull apart from the kiss. 
“Shit,” You moan, leaning your head back against the back of the loveseat. “You’re so fucking wet Bils.” You whimper as you thrust your leg up against her dripping core. Her fingers twisting and curling even faster as she feels you clench around her digits. 
“Do I feel good, pretty girl?” Billie groans as her voice drops an octave. Her hot breath fanning against your skin as her lips lay a chaste kiss to your sweaty skin. Nodding your head as a soft whimper escapes your lips. Your hips rotating and grinding against her thigh as her fingers bring you to the brink of your orgasm. 
“I need words ma, tell me who’s making you feel good?” She whines in your ear as her hips grind faster against you. Her breath heaves as she feels your legs clench around her. “You feel so good. Fuck Billie!” You moan as your lips find her neck. Capturing her skin between your teeth as you rut against her faster. Making sure to leave your mark along her neck as you feel yourself climbing higher. Your mind is completely in the clouds as you feel Billie on every surface of you. 
Your breathing harsh against her chest as you feel everything around you get quiet. Your heart racing and your vision blurry as she repeatedly hits your sweet spot. Your toes curling and legs clenching around her as your body finally lets go of the losing battle. Your moans bouncing off the walls of your trailer as your fingers grip and grasp at her naked back. Her groans dance in your ears as her hips rut a final time before her body goes stiff. Her lips heavy on your neck as she nips and sucks your sensitive skin. Her orgasm washes over her like cool water on a hot day. Moaning as she feels your hands slide down to her hips encouraging her to keep her motions against your thigh. Her fingers are still thrusting deep inside you at a steady pace as you both try to ride out your highs. 
With heavy sighs and sore limbs you both rest against each other trying to catch your breaths. Your fingers gently tapping along her hip as she lays featherlight pecks along your jaw. Humming softly as you can’t fight the smirk working its way across your cheeks. A chuckle ripples off Billies chest as she furrows her face deeper in your neck once again trying to her bashfulness. Her cheeks burning up as you gently grip the back of her neck pulling her up out of your neck. Eyes glancing up at her as your smiles match. Her lip held tightly between her teeth as she reached down and brushed her fingertips across your features. Her eyes were bright and excited as neither one of you were ready to burst this unexpected little bubble you were in. 
“Wanna get out of here?” Billie asks with a sneaky mischievous look in her eyes. Your smile only grows as you quickly nod your head yes. Pushing her up off your body as you both begin to dress before you both make your way out of the trailer. Not really sure where this all will lead but you definitely weren’t complaining. Not when you felt her hand gently tug on yours before she slowly interlaced your fingers. Leading you towards her parked car. When the raging fluttering of butterflies overtook your tummy when you felt her fingers gently dancing across your thigh as she drove you both back to the hotel. Your skin burning under her touch as the anticipation grew more than you could bare as she pushed you through the door and onto the bed. Her lips leave a hot trail as she sucks and licks your neck. 
Her smirk is undeniable as she lowers her lips to your ear, “Mm don’t worry pretty girl, I won’t tell anyone either…” 
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paracosmicka · 12 hours ago
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might be a somewhat awkward question, so feel free to ignore, but how do you usually go about drawing stuff like kissing and cuddling? i would be curious to know your process, because you always manage to portray that stuff as incredibly soft and.. vulnerable? if that makes any ounce of sense. sorry if it doesn’t TvT
No you’re all good this isn’t an awkward question at all! Actually this is kind of a fun ask to answer bc I wanna know if any other people have similar experiences to how I draw lol.
First off, wanna say that there’s a one specific song I’ve listened to religiously for the past 3 years, and it's also the song I listen to most often while drawing sonadow. I feel like it’s encompasses almost the entire range of human emotion while somehow also being able to match exactly to any single specific emotion on that range.
Typing this out now my feelings and experiences with the song might be a little biased because it’s part of the OST for Signalis (which is such an underrated game and especially the soundtrack), but I feel like even if you haven’t played the game it can still give you this melancholic atmosphere. But really it feels like….I feel like there are words to describe what i’m trying to say but I can’t think of any other than like, … an “ethereal comfort”.
Okay sorry about that ramble I just really wanted to give you some context and also I need more people to play Signalis. But anyway to answer your question:
My “Creative” Process: featuring symptoms of autism and insomnia
I like that people use words like “soft”, “intimate”, “tender” in the replies and stuff of my art because (while that is the intention behind a lot of my art) it makes me think about the actual process that took place while I was drawing and if that in anyway impacts the viewer interpretation.
I might have talked about this before on my blog, but if so I can’t remember. So I wanna ask any other artists (or actually just people in general) if they do this too or if it’s something Not Normal because it does concern me sometimes lol. Like it’s probably not that uncommon, but I’ve just never seen anyone talk about this before:
I always (like 90%) fall asleep while I draw, it’s never usually for long, sometimes I just doze off for like 5 minutes, but more often I get a lot of half-hour naps in. It most likely, probably, definitely, literally guarantee is because I do things that, maybe don’t encourage, but definitely make it easier to not stay awake. I listen to more calm music while drawing, all of my canvas templates absolutely cannot be white and instead have to be a warm color with both the saturation and brightness really toned down so it’s like a comforting hazy-yellow. I also have all the lights turned off in my room, especially in the day, because I hate the light-reflection on my iPad screen while I draw.
I know I just listed all those things I do like they were intentional but I only just recently realized I do this because someone pointed out how my background colors are always like a soft-yellow which is apparently not common and I was like “oh yeah I guess you’re right”.
So, to be honest, I’m not really sure how I do draw sonadow kissing and cuddling other than…I just do? I’m sorry I know that’s not very helpful 😭 Like, literally the only tip I can think of is “try to be really eeby and neebies to sleeby” while drawing soft gay hedgehogs, 10/10 doctors highly recommend and another cool perk: no nightmares (at least so far, I always get warm and nice dreams 💖)
I definitely like to use references tho lol. Kids, if you run out of Heartstopper clips or any other cute kissing scenes in your favorite movies and shows, don't be embarrassed to go on Youtube and search “makeout scenes” and watch almost all 300 videos in a playlist that definitely seems like it was created like a bot, because sometimes those are the only references you’re gonna get for kissing animations.
Well, I think that concludes this edition of Unnecessarily Long Dissertation Papers by Paracosm, thank you for the ask anon!!
OH ACTUALLY sorry for promoting another Spotify playlist but I made one specifically for Soft, Vulnerable, and Intimate Sonadow Vibes™️ because as much as I love using my regular sonadow playlist I needed one for pillow and blanky time. It’s got The Red Gate and a lot of other songs with similar vibes so here’s that if you wanna listen :3
WAIT SORRY ALSO???? A friend said that my playlist is the most liked sonadow playlist on Spotify apparently 😭 but I actually don’t know if that’s true I’m just surprised that people actually save it to their libraries (970 likes last time I checked I didn’t even know that many real human people were on Spotify) bc it’s like a million hours long and there is no consistency at all like the music genres will switch from borderline-hyperpop MGNA Crrrta to soft instrumental OSTs to the loud unidentifiable noises of Nero’s Day at Disneyland/Lauren Bousfield’s music.
Okay actually done talking now, I love answering asks because everyone is always so fucking nice and sweet I have teared up at times but because they make me feel so many things every time I sit down to answer one I probably use a good hour or two writing everything out and then quickly proofreading so that my one coworker that follows me on here won’t bully me in public for being an idiot.
But seriously tho, feel free to send me any asks you might have, you are literally never bothering me I love reading you guys’ messages 😭💖!! I wish I had more time to answer all of them but just know I check my inbox at least once a week and try to read all the new ones. My goal is trying to answer at least one a day, which doesn’t always happen but at the end of the week I always make sure to put myself in a Saw trap to answer at least a couple 💖 Seriously just thank you for all the support I feel like I don’t say it enough I love you guys and I love talking with you guys and I love how everyone here is so nice and we can all be cozy and enjoy our gay hedgehogs ☺️
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simpingforbots · 2 days ago
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Hello I was wondering if I could have human reader and TFone elita one in it the human lands on cybertron gets found by elita one and lives at her place and shows the struggles of them liveing on cybertron and them growing in their relationship with elita one soon after having a hard time sleeping elita ask them if they want to sleep in her bed and cuddle
Thank you I hope this wasn’t a lot
Hello. Sure can do my best. I am thinking of putting this meeting this time in future, after Sentinel became a twix, but before war. In more peaceful times. might even take few chapter so head up.
Little Alien - part 1
You were no one special and you knew it. Unlike every one else on this ship you did not go to some expensive college, or was a genius gifted kid who managed to ace every thing, or just well adducted person who did their best to earn their spot here. You were just a normal, run of the mill, human being, who happen to win this stupid lottery and decided to take a bite. The months of grilling training for the launch off, space and it’s zero gravity and how to act was enough to make you second guess, yet you still decided to stay. How many people can tell their future generation that they were in actual space, joining egg heads for some kind of experiment. What you did not know that you were also an unfortunate sap to become their lab monkey, after all they need someone to do something
You just stared at the new planet as it slowly passed in to the illuminator, able to see light illuminating from it, fascinated that something like this exsist. All it took is to travel though some kind of worm hole while you were frozen, now about to land on this new world. The leader of this operation asked every one to come to the detachable shuttle, and get ready for descend. Smiling, you pushed your self though zero gravity, enjoying the feeling of being free, collecting your suit and camera on the way as your only job here. Floating in to the shuttle you greeted other people on it, smiling and doing your best to stay out of their way as they got every thing ready, dragging in boxes and other expensive equipment. They been good to you so far, and you relay did not wanted to piss them off. Taking your right full seat at the far back, away from controls and important leavers, you stared outside and watched as shuttle detached it self, slowly moving away from the main ship, able to see other scientists watch you and the team go down to the planet. The ride was not without hiccups as this planet was a new environment and who knew what was on it, especialy of it looked like it was made from metal. You felt the entire ship shake as they slowly descended, landing on the stable ground and after some time you finally were allowed to get out, following others as they all got out, carrying boxes and other science equipment.
“Holly Shit” your eyes grew wide as your eyes scanned alien terrane. The alien sun was just going up, basking the entire world in wonderful colours and constantly shifting mountains added to the majestic atmosphere to this new world. Hell, you sure you can fell quite buzz of something coming from below heavily padded boots of the suit. “DO you think there is air here?”
“So far reading says there is traces of oxygen on this planet, so I presume so” one of the scientist reply, piking up a small rock for the sample “Should be safe for us, but for safety reasons it best to keep the helmet on”
“okay...” you stayed quite, continue watching new mountains grow from the gorund while other collapsed. Pulling your camera out, yes it was on old one, that was printing photos, you still liked t, you started taking pictures, letting the small machine whirr as it printed, giving you a memorabilia of such strange and wonderful world.... “Hey guys, do you need me to take some other photos... for the science?”
“Actually it will be nice” you grinned as you continued taking picture, staying ou of the way of those who knew what to do.
It seems like you’ve been here for hours and standing in one place, taking the picture at the same spot soon bored you and you wondered out a bit further in, not to far as to still be in radio frequency range, taking photos of every thing that seemd out of sight. Like the small tongues of grass poking though the harsh metallic surface and seeming to thrive in this harsh environment, right next to flowing blue liquid that glowed brightly. Walking over to it, you huffed a bit thanks to the heavy weight of the suit, lifting your camera and ticking a picture of the river as close as you could, even able to see it “flow” in picture. Maybe you should tell your “friends” about what you found, kneeling down a bit and reached over, moments away from touching it before quickly puling your hand away. Right, no, you are human, you poke things with sticks just like God intended. Turning around, you spotted a small “stick” or something that looked like it, wrapping your gloved hand around and plunging it in t the river, obtaining a sample. A sound from the other side of the river quickly alerted you, making you jump and stare on shock at what you wee seeing.
A deer – or something that look like a deer, giant and made out of metal, reminding you about the obstruct sculpture you’ve seen one time back on Earth, herd of them, leisurely walking over to the river, ignoring your presence and bowing to take a sip of the strange liquid floating by, one by one, stretching in to line, with few staying on guard, the round lights on their head instead of normal horns glowing purple, their head high up and staring around. Your eyes were glued to them, to much in awe to even say anything but slowly breathing in, time to time eyes darting from one creature to another. You were scared that if you move to fast you’ll scare them, if you make any noise, like calling to your group, they will run away, so moving slowly and carefully, you lifted your camera again, turning the flashlight of. Slow as a snail, you raised it, closing one eyes and looking through lens at the creature, who were still enjoying liquid, ignoring your presence completely, allowing you to take as many photos as you want. Finally one of them noticed you, the light shifting for just a second to red, before going purple again, the head slightly tilting to the side, it’s small eyes shifting rapidly, waiting for any action from you. And so did you, watching them in return, ready to run in case those huge metal beast decides you were danger. Finally it decided to see what you was about, jumping over the narrow for him river, making you jump and take few steps back, freezing a bit as it walked over, graceful as one would be on earth, heavy body making idle mechanic noises as it slowly walked over, head low and lights blue, closing the distance. You carefully lifted your hands up and try not to look threatening to something metal and big, just letting it inspect you, and it seemd like the thing approved of you, the head bumping in to your side lightly, yet still making you stumble, rubbing a bit and light turning green with a ding, letting human let a heavy sigh of relief, lifting hands toward the head and letting it slide up and down the metal segmented head, able to feel quite buzz and warmth even beneath gloves.
“Wow, you are beautiful!” you whispered, smiled creeping up not your face, the mask fogging up a bit with your breath speeding up, able to feel your heart pounding in the chest. “just what are you? Hehe” you let a chuckle, bracing your self as the rest of the flock came over to “inspect” new creature, head budding you as well and soon enough the entire heard was playfully bumping heads to get their own share of head pats, making you savour the moment that you were the first to interact with alien life, even if it was wild one, it still was amazing, so in the moment that you were unable to feel that the distant faint rumble grew nearer, and when it become a small tremor that it seemed to finally alert the deer, their heads shooting up, scaring you a bit, with their rings turning red and quickly scramble away, forcing you to curl up and cover your head from them running over you, almost trembling you to death with their huge heavy metal hoofs and weight. When they ran away, you got up, confused just what was going on, turning your head to horizon and watching carefully, seeing something that was not right.
Mountains, they were growing closer, shifting quicker and quicker toward your and your team direction, but could it be just your imagination. Confused you reached for the tablet on your hand, taping it to activate your radio, calling out to the team, asking if every thing was okay, only to get static. The mountains grew nearer and tremors grew harder, finally sending you in to panic mode, turning around and running back to the ship, stumbling with every shake and heart pounding. Why did you wonder so far?! You kept running, panting and screaming for the team, eyes pilled on horizon and seeing your team finally react to earthquake, gathering expensive equipment on to the ship in a hurry, constantly looking back. Why were they looking back, what was going on. Regretfully you turned your head, stumbling over your feet, catching just in time as to not fall, eyes growing so wide you could feel them almost pop out of the scull – the constantly shifting mountain were rapidly moving towards you, sending violent earthquakes along, and the sight alone pumped more adrenalin in to human’s blood stream, the chain of exhaustion quickly falling of, screaming louder, turning your head and speed up as much as you could in the heavy suite, waving your hands at last person jumping in.
“Wait! Wait! FUCK!!!” You yelled loud enough to even burst your own ear drums, tears forming as you watch human look in between inside the ship and you, diving in and the ship slowly rising up, the engines roaring no lounder then the grumble of the ground, slowly kicking in and flying away, leaving you behind to your doom. You screamed in anger, fear and pity for your self as the shifting mounted quickly caught up, tossing you around like some kind of tennis ball. You felt every bump and toss, sharp edges digging in to you and you fell on your head to hard, knocking you out.
Ever since Orion become a prime every thing seemed to change for the best. No bot had to slave away in mines as energon flowed through city and it was plenty then enough for every one, the only reason mines were still were open was for minerals and safety was at all time high with Elita-one on control. And she was quite proud of it, after all she did spend most of her life reaching for high position, and now she was right hand of Optimus Prime, with a lot of paperwork and responsibilities, along with all the stress. Hunched over another stack of data-pads, it took every thing not to throw it at poor sap who came in, bringing more documents and thankfully some energon to help her power though this entire mess even if the energon crisis was over, there were other troubles that needed to be taken care of. Like sudden influx of young bots, waste and a clear as day divide between those who could live in comfort and those who could not, something even Prime did not approve much, seeing as every one were equal. Letting bot place data-pads and energon in front of her, she waved them off, leaning back in chair with a grunt.  Besides those problames there were still Quintessons, who are now no longer provided with energon by Sentinel and Megaron with high gurds, now knowns as decepticons, constantly causing trouble and even starting roomers about false Prime.
She needs a break. Getting up, Elita headed out, passing by B-127, who was happily talking some ones audio off, a smile creeping on her faceplate to see him so free after hearing where he was, finally enjoying a proper life that was intended. Heading out, Elita headed up to the surface, wanitng to enjoy the scenary just for a bit, reminiscing about past adventure, driving through landscape when something caught her opticks. On horizon something appeared, descending quickly and carefully, to small to be one of Quintessons ships. Reeving up the engine, fem-bot speed up toward the landing, even if it was far away, praying to primes it was nothing to worry about, still being carful of shifting terrain. By the time she reached the spot she calculated was landing site for the small ship it wad to late for who ever landed. One of many shifting mountains made it’s way toward the ship and crushing something small in the way while the ship left, just in time to avoid collision with the shifting mass of metal, leaving one of presumed passengers behind to their fate, getting tossed around mountain like some kind of ball before going limp along woth moving maintain stopping. Knowing first hand how ruff it can get, Elita rushed over, something inside her gripping her spark as this small thing looked to close to a sparkling and getting tossed like this surely did not end well. Transforming mid way, Elita closed the distance, slowing down and carefully walking over to limp body laying on one of spikes, unmoving or showing signs of life.
This small thing did look like sparkling from a far, but up close it looked more creepy. It was small, in white covering with no distinguished segment, as if the metal was fused all in one moving part, it did had hands with five small digits, curled a bit, creepy. Shaking of the strange feeling, Elita approached it closer, kneeling down and letting her self inspect it, head tilting side to side while optic scanned the strange life form. It did not look like any Quintessons she’ve ever seen, in fact those bug creature were big and this paled in compression, hell it’ll easily fit in her servo alone. Slowly reching out, she poked it, body swaying before going still again, but just for a second she could feel warmth. Could this thing still be alive? Poking it again just to make sure it won’t suddenly attack or anything else, even if the size difference was big, she wrapped her servo, lifting it, round strange head with big reflective visor swaying a bit, limbs hanging down, big bot could feel it moving, middle torso expanding and slowly deflating over and over, like some kind of constant force, an engine that can not stop even when one is unconscious. Seeing her own reflection in the strange head, Elita use one of the digits to prop up the round head to make sure it was looking at her. It felt so week and fragile, just what is it? Squinting a bit, Elita could see something under the strange visor, could this strange reflective thign move, slide up perhaps. Slowly, using the other servo, she tapped the head, it making a hallow thunk noise, still not reacting and the strange reflective surface moving just a bit, confirming that it can be moved. Using the same digit, she slid it up, opticks growing wide and head tilting back a bit with shock.
This thing had a face, just like any other cybertronian, just on strange colour and weird things on it, yet the expression seemed peaceful as if they were simply recharging. Bringing them closer, Elita squinted, tapping on the strange helmet to see what else was inside, angling it along the way. Nothing that she can see from here. Looking up, she had to wonder if this one was left behind as to let other escape the shifting mass or they were unlucky enough as to not get on the ship when disaster stuck, what ever it was, she can no leave it here, no matter how much she wanted. Letting a heavy exhausted sight, fem bot stood up, leaning on the mass and turned, heading back to the Iacon, already getting a headache just from thinking what will happened when she brings this strange creature there, especialy Bee with all his questions.
--
Why is every thign hurts? Letting a grunt out, you tried opening your eyes, immideatly getting assaulted by light, forcing you to squint and raise your hand to shield eyes from such suden brightness. Where were you? Not on the ship that was for sure as there was no ideal chatter of tv captain put on as to not let the crew go crazy due to all the silence outside the ship. Who wouldn’t if you had to spend months floating in vacuum of space with no constant noise that ususaly surrounded you on Earth – all the nature sounds and human life, a constant, even if not noticeable, noise. Slowly getting up, you can feel fresh bruises painfully sting all over you, a sigh of relieve escapes you, seeing that you managed to get out of what ever the fuck was happening alive, with only cracked visor, quickly putting panic in to your head. Even if there was air that in theory was breathable, it was still not the best. Taking a few deep breath you did not notise anything bad happening, no dizziness, or sharp pain in chest, meaning it was alright. Good. Hold on, where are you?
Finally snapping back in to reality, your eyes grew wide while you looked around, head snapping from one side to another. You were in the hugest room you could even imagine, bigger then the room you visited back in the day during the “tour” where guide explained what was going on and what you singed up for, showing of the top of the notch technology. No, this was bigger, much-much bigger and it seamed like you were on something huge that extended a bit further and dropped quickly, getting up, you walk, spinning around, eyes wide and instinctively reaching for the camera, bumping in to something. You bumped in to the glass... what? Putting your hand on it, you followed the slightly noticeable surface, trailing it above and behind you, horror slowly sipping in. Dome, where ever you were placed in to the glass dome like some kind of spider caught in a glass, you are not a bug! Panicking, tried to get under it, the gloves are to thick to do the job, and even if they could, you doubt you can lift something so big and heavy. So banging it is. Drumming your fist on the surface, you yell
“HEY! Let me out! Let me out!!!” you shouted on top of your lungs, bot fist hammering on the surface, hell even kicking, trying to get attention of what ever it is caught you. Do you really want to? No, but you have to get out and try to call “home” to get the hell of this planet and tell every one to not come back. “HEY!!!”
Something seemd to hear you and a heavy, like very heavy footsteps echoed though the entire place, you freezing and staring at what clearly was door frame, eyes glued and heart pounding, expecting something to pop in all while your brain started processing every thign at once. You were in a huge dome, in a hugest room big enough to fit in 10 of the ships you travelled through space, you saw huge deer made out of metal, so what can be stomping so loudly through the hallway. As realisation quickly hit you like a frag train, sweat pooling on your back you quickly stopped banging and just stared quietly at the doorframe. It did not take to long for the source of the stomping to slowly peer in, metal fingers wrapping around the edge of doorframe, and a huge metal head with strange helm popped in. Of God, it had a face and it’s huge blue glowing eyes staring at you like a child staring at the new thing they just found. Both of you just stared at each other, wide eyed, shocked and confused, you honestly were about to faint as the vision got blurry and starts blinking in to appearance. It seemd like the big yellow things will make the first move.
The face light up with smile, it’s mouth moving as it spoke garbled words that sounded like someone put on blender and drill, quickly walking in to the room and closing the distance between your prison and it, huge hands reaching for the dome. You let a yelp when cage left the gorund, you sliding back and trying not to fall on your ass, heart pounding and now completely terrified. Of course this planet will have giant metal people, though huge bot did not seemd to concerned that you were terrified out of your wits, rotating the cage and you at the same time, examining you with the most puppy like eyes you really did not expect bot to have, it’s mouth in a wide smile. How can he talk so much, is he expecting you to understand him just because he speaks non stop.... oh god is that how animals feel when they first get adopted.
When Elita brought the strange creature back with her, every one seemd to be shocked by it and freaked out, mostly confused and wierded out how something alien can look so like them, even in a weird way they ad two peds, two servos, a head hidden behind round helmet, all keeping their distance, and not only bacouse it was a strange thing, but because Elita held it and no one want smoke with here, she carried her little finding in to her office, placing it in a small glass cage so that it won’t run away when it wakes up and she is not there. Grunting, big bot leaned on table, scaning the small thign over again. It seemd to be damaged while being tossed around like some kind of ball, but not leaking anything, meaning that the thing it was “made out of” was only an outer shell, like Quintessons had the first layer, hiding beneath a strange fleshy thig, could it be the same case. So does it mean this thing is a Quintessons, like hatchling of theirs? Hardly, they should look somewhat similar, like a smaller version of them and ugly. Letting a heavy sigh, she tapped on the glass, keeping her worries to her self as another request for meeting came though, taking her to the other side of this huge building, passing by B-127.
B-127 knew that Elita brought something that caught every one of guard and he wanted it to see, yet the tall fem pushed him aside, saying that it was not the time for that, making him a bit grumpy. Is she saying he can’t control him self around something so small, but he can and he will prove it, and it did not take long for big fem-bot to be called for another boring meeting that he can sneak in to her office, quickly running though the corridor. And just as he was getting closer he heard the weirdest sound ever – it sounded like chirping and soft singing in some new tones, getting his attention at full strength. Tip toing now, as to not scare it, Bee poked his head out of the hallway, staring at the small dome with the thing, it awake and active, and looking at him.
“OH WOW! You are cute! What are you? You are relay weird little thing, are you?” chittering B-127 quickly closed the distance and “gently” grabbed the dome, little thigns sliding to the back of the cage, still staring at him “IS this your opticks? Why are they not glowing? How are you small? Are you a sparkling? You are so cute! I am gonna call you Steve Two” he spun the cage, trying his best to get a better look at the little thing locked away and how to get you out the cage, jolting you around at the same time. It seemd like Elita knew he would come and locked it up tightly, taking the key with her, but no trouble he will just
“What are you doing?”
“AH” tossing the dome out of panic, B-127 scrambled to catch it, digits slipping while it was in air and the cage shuttering on impact, letting a yelp and covering his mouth. He did not mean for that to happen “B-127!!!”
“I did not mean to kill it!” Bee spun around, hands in air as angry Elita stormed in t the room, eyes on him and steam escaping with angry hiss “I just wanted to see them”
You yelled as the cage got tossed and big golden bot scrambling to catch you, like a child trying to catch tossed ball, but to your horror he did not and you plummeted down, glass shattering on impact and you hitting the gorund. You must be very lucky though as all you came out with was a few cuts, somehow surviving the fall, but it still hurt and knocked air out of lungs. Coughing your lungs out, trying to breath in, your ears rung like crazy, as if you were by explosion, roiling on stomach. You can not rest now, even if you wanted, you need to run, scrambling to your feet you ran, or tried to, stumbling and falling again and again, basicaly crawling under the huge table, hiding from the sight yet still able to see thing. The huge golden bot was clearly getting scolded by a big alien robot, who most likely was his mom or something like this, huge arms on hips and staring at young bot, chattering in strange robotic language and yellow one looking down, quite. Okay, good, you got kidnapped by baby bot and now the little one tries to convince the parent to keep you. Pink one even was letting steam out of the body, upset that yellow one broke the cage and bend down, piking up a few shard, scaning all over the place, clearly lookig for the lost specimen – you.
“Oh hell nah” you whispered, gripping in the table leg and darting behind, barely avoididng being seen. “Oh fuck! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck” looking around for something to hide in that is to narrow for huge hands, you managed to spot a small crevasse in between wall, far away and risky if you do it now, yet the huge pink robot was closing on to your location, so you waited your options and darted out of the hiding, legs burning already but you pushed your self, laser focused on crevasse, ignoring a metallic noise, heavy footsteps an just in time managed to throw your self in to crack as huge metal fingers clasped around the empty space where you once were. Purely out of adrenaline, you pushed your self deeper, wedging in between walks and stared back out of the hole. The pink one was kneeling and starring at you with the most angry stare there was, light blue rings in dark blue ocean of light shifting almost every second. It grumbled what you can gues was disappointment that something small like you manged to get away, moving away and shoving metal hand in, fingers wriggling around, inches away from you, and there was no more space to shove your self away from, the tank already stuck and you are not getting out of suit, not because it was dangerous, but because you will get captured the second you will climb out of this bulky suit. The fingers went back, face returns, angry grumble, and again it is trying to reach for you.
What did you get your self in to?
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tsenya · 5 months ago
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weekly music roundup ! no. 1
new:
cradle - dua saleh
no name - intentions
who's who - frex
undo - 4bout
trevi freestyle - sofi de la torre
reruns:
new phrase - oskar o.
fool's gold - aries
we'll be alright - ilham
seatbelt - brevin kim; halfoff
stomp - cosette
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opportunistic-chicanery · 19 days ago
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Use this ask as an excuse to infodump about Aaliyah/her and Hacker’s relationship <3 I love their dynamic sm and I’d love to hear anything and everything!
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Consider this spoilers for future Borg of Both Worlds installments. I’ve been meaning to actually write the fic for a year now, but since I work full time, I haven’t had the chance to work on it much. Hopefully one day I’ll get around to it.
Hacker is a tad insecure about his human form. Even after many years on Earth he thinks his borg looks are far superior and he worries that Aaliyah won’t find him as attractive while he’s forced to look human. He’ll frequently remind her to imagine him looking green and big chinned during romantic moments. The irony being that Aaliyah finds his borg looks very weird and definitely finds him way more handsome as a human, though after some time she does warm up to his borg looks too.
It takes a while for them to start dating officially. They stay as friends for several years because Aaliyah still needs time to mourn her husband. But even after she is open to seeing new people, Hacker is not immediately the top of her list. Although they make good friends she has reservations because she thinks it might be a little strange to essentially date an alien. They’ve very different too and he is also very different from her first husband. But as friends they have a weekly dinner and monopoly night with Jackie. Sometimes they make special plans for the spa, park or somewhere out of town but daily life keeps them fairly occupied.
Aaliyah is a super extrovert. At first, she expects Hacker to be an extrovert too seeing how they are together and how he acts as a villain, but she is surprised to realize he tends to clam up around others in more causal social situations. Aaliyah is somewhat of an unwitting neighborhood therapist. She generally likes people and helping, but Hacker is her escapism from the drama that comes to her door. He always finds a way to bring something new to the table engages her different than anyone she’s ever met. Meanwhile, for Hacker, Aaliyah brings him to reality, literally and figuratively. She is his reminder that he doesn’t need to use fear to maintain control in his life or be listened to. She’s here to listen and support instead of dismissing and criticizing. He’s never really had that kind of person in his life before.
Out of the two of them Hacker is definitely the bigger swooner. He expresses things in a bigger way in generally. Aaliyah knows this and will try to get a rise out of him with flirting. She speaks some French from college and will use it to play in his ultra romantic side. She thinks he’s just adorable with how shy he can be.
She is not a huge risk taker, she prefers stability and thinking things through from all angles until she’s 100% confident in her decision making. Hacker is able to push her out of her bubble a little bit once she feels the stability from him. Reversely, Hacker is the impulsive one who becomes more grounded.
In contrast, Aaliyah doesn’t take shit from anyone. She’ll call out anyone for being offensive on the spot and can easily speak up for herself when she feels it’s warranted. She understands her own emotions pretty well knows how to address how she’s feeling for the most part. Unlike Hacker who has a pretty bad understanding of himself, dismisses his own feelings about things and then just decides to murder you later after the frustration has been pent up. That’s actually his biggest barrier to fully “reforming” into a good person, but something he’ll address in the sequel.
Actually one of the biggest weaknesses with the first fic looking back is that I was never able to have Hacker clearly express what made him hate Motherboard. I would say it is heavily implied but is still quite vague. Part of it was definitely my own shortcomings as a writer, but another part was that I could not find a way to do so which would come off as in character. Hacker has an ape’s level understanding of his own feelings and it’s definitely something I want to address in his relationship with Aaliyah and Motherboard.
Okay, some sickly sweet fluff to end this post. Once they get married, Hacker becomes a total wife guy. He’ll win every argument by showing people the picture of her in this wallet. Translation: he has a hot wife so he’s better than you, shut up. He is convinced she’s the best wife because in his words, she has “prior experience”.
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lizardlycrimes · 1 year ago
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I just read your tags on your reblog (of the thing I stole your tags for 😅) and - you know the moment in the cartoon where Kash says "we were hoping Earth Wind and Fire here could assist" and everybody looks at Keyleth and Keyleth looks the other way first like "...oh you mean me??" That was 100% me ^^' I am HIGH KEY flattered, but also I'm very much "??!???!?" at the thought of anyone fangirling over me, of all people! whyyy (for real, though, really!?)
(also always SO SO GOOD to find someone else who fucking loves Scanlan 'Patented Disaster' Shorthalt, warts and all 💜)
I don't think I've gotten an ask before!!! This is exciting!!!
Also I love that scene in TLOVM so much I get what you mean by the whole "oh you mean me thing" sjshdjdn I'd probably be a lil shocked too but I'm genuinely am like. A big fan. Getting even this ask got me fangirling all over again!! I love your art so much and you have such an accurate way of portraying Scanlan it drives me nuts!! Both your design and characterization in comics and such just ahh!! Being able to say that's my boy!!! Is so exciting to me!!
It's so hard to find people who are decent about Scanlan it's insane though!! I've seen Scanlan be put through such hellish miss characterization and exclusion. Often times treated more like a thing than a person in my opinion. (Sam's characters as a whole I think are very slept on. Like even with big character reveals the only time I've seen fcg really be posted a LOT about was in relation to romance) on the rare occasion where I see someone who clearly appreciates Scanlan's complexities they basically get immediately engrained into my brain just like you have. Though with how much you've posted of him I think you're past simply engrained and just are part of my brain now.
Also warts and all is a funny way to put it while also being very accurate ajshsjsn but if I dive into that this post though I'd end out discovering what's the word limit on Tumblr 😅
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reignpage · 2 months ago
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Lying To Himself
Content: in which toji is left alone and how he deals with your temporary absence Warnings: lots and lots of cursing, a little angsty for Toji, but mostly tooth-rotting fluff and crack, he's a certified loverboy your honour!
You have to leave for two weeks, something about a mission in another city. Your boyfriend, Toji, swears it'll be okay, even insists that time will pass by in a blink of an eye. 
“‘m not a fucking child, ma. I’ll be fine. Just take care, yeah?”
And so, you peck him on his lips and wave goodbye before you get in the car. Then you’re disappearing in the distance. Toji shrugs, going back in feeling pretty excited to have the house to himself for two weeks — this has never happened before. As he sits on the couch, bottle of beer in one hand and tv remote on the other, he thinks about all the things he can do now.
The toilet seat can stay up, the bins will be full for longer, same goes for the dirty dishes in the sink, and he can watch whatever he wants; no more of those sappy romcoms with predictable plots and cheesy lines. 
“’s gonna be fun,” he mutters, a growing grin on his face. 
A couple days pass in relative silence, he stays out late, sleeps till noon and eats all the junk you’ve banned from the house. Toji cooks all the steak he wants and leaves the beer bottles to collect dust on the coffee table. And he accepts every invitation from his buddies to go out for drinks, watch basketball at the bar, and plays a couple games too.
He stays up all night, on the evenings he's not getting stupid drunk, playing videogames -- the violent ones you cringe at. During the day, he walks around the place in just his boxers, sometimes not even that, and it's liberating. All a man needs is to be free to be balls naked in their own kitchen.
"You're not missing her at all?" Shiu asks, smoke blowing in his face as they stand in the back alley, leaning against the wall of the bar.
Toji snorts. "What am I? Five years old? I can last a couple weeks without being sappy."
His friend gives him a look, half amused, half disbelieving and a hundred percent smug. None of them miss the death grip he has on his phone, the way his knee is bouncing, and how he isn't even looking at the hot chicks that sway their asses as they walk by.
It’s been great. Really fucking great. 
You haven’t been texting much. Sure, you check in here and there, letting him know you’re alright, you’re safe, and making sure he’s watered your plants. However, there are rarely any opportunities for phone calls longer than five minutes, no FaceTime either, and sometimes he goes to sleep without a ‘goodnight’ from you. 
It’s fine. 
At least, he can sleep at whatever time he wants without you whining about needing cuddles.
More days pass just like that. 
And now he’s rarely leaving the house, finding his drunk friends boring and obnoxiously loud. It’s like he's suddenly realised they’re kinda fucking stupid. He starts to get sick of all the steak and fried chicken and takeaway, and instead he’ll text you for the recipe of your lasagne or that smoothie you make him in the mornings that’s always greener than the last. 
His feet tap on the floor when you don’t reply straight away. And when his phone lights up, he practically dives for it and grips it tight in his palm, screen threatening to crack when it’s not from you. 
“God fucking dammit, Shiu. Don’t fucking talk to me if it’s not important.”
The movies he’s been dying to watch are pretty shit. There’s no depth, no proper pacing, and the dialogue’s cheesy as fuck. Usually, you’d throw popcorn at the screen and complain about all those things, but he finds that he has to mutter them to himself for white noise. Even smirks when he thinks he got it exactly right, guessing what you’d say as if you’re yapping right in his ear. 
“She’d totally find that shit stupid. And that blood looks fake as fuck. What was the fucking budget for this shit?”
Most of the phone calls on his history log are from him, more reds than greens. What the fuck have they got you doing over there anyways? 
When you do reply to his ‘g’night’ and ‘hey, sleep well?’, he’ll have a go at you for taking so damn long. It’s just fucking ridiculous that you’re clearly sleeping well when he has to hit the gym and tire himself out to even get an hour of shut eye nowadays. Sometimes, he can’t even get any and he just paces the length of the living room waiting for a notification from you to pop up. 
“Fucking come on! Y'r phone better be dead or something.”
Toji hates having dinner on the table; the seat opposite him is empty, the placemat bare and he feels a freaky fucking soreness in his chest. When that happens, he never finishes his dinner. Must be a symptom of early heart disease. Gotta talk to the doctors about that. 
Instead, he eats on the sofa or in his car.
Eventually, you find time to speak to him for an hour, recounting all the crazy things you’ve seen and had to do. He doesn’t interrupt, he just grunts here and there, not even really listening but he urges you to keep talking when there’s a pause, like you’re unsure if you’re talking too much. And when you try to turn the conversation on him, asking about his day, he gives one word answers and then throws you another question. 
“Yeah?” He grunts. “What else? Speak up, ma. Wanna hear ya. D’ya go to that shop? Yeah? Y’ buy anything? Send me a picture.”
He gets two nights of decent sleep after that.
But then…
The guys at work know better than to open their fat mouths around him when he turns up with an extra wrinkle and a ticking in his jaw. Toji is somehow even more sadistic and violent and eager for blood. Even finally accepts their invitation to go out for drinks and drowns himself in the extra strong shit. Assuming he just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, they don’t question his sour mood. 
But what they don’t know is that you texted, just a day before you’re set to come back, to let him know you’re staying another week. 
Fucking texted. 
Didn’t even get to hear it from your own voice. 
He buries himself in more work and stays at the gym for even longer, pushing his body so far, his mind quiets down and he don’t gotta think about the fact that he’s started sleeping on your side of the bed, that the house is losing your scent, and that divot on the couch where you always sat has flattened out. 
Everyone knows he’s losing his mind. They can tell by the dark circles under his eyes and the fact that he’s started snapping at women who are either flirting or just doing their jobs. And sometimes they even have to block his view of couples practising PDA. That’s the closest to hell they ever want to get around Toji. Suddenly, everyone’s hoping you throw the guy a bone and send a nude or something. Literally anything to rein him back in.
The day comes, though, when you’re finally returning home. 
“Y’ sure? Not gonna flake again? Be fucking sure, ma. Alright, get back safe.”
Toji throws all the rubbish out, washes the dishes and dries them, double checks that the toilet seat is down, and he’s followed your recipe for beef stew to the letter — it’s cooking in the oven, and it looks fucking great. Even exfoliated in the shower like you’ve been asking him to, almost took off an entire layer of skin. He doesn’t want to admit he feels pretty fucking fresh. 
The door handle rattles. 
He sits up. And then stands. Walks over to the front door, arms crossing and then uncrossing. 
You’re here. 
“Hey, Toji—“
Your greeting is smothered in his chest as he threatens to suffocate you with the hardest bear hug in the whole world. And though he’d never hurt you, if you weren’t a sorcerer, you’d have been in big trouble. 
“Y’ hungry? Or y’ wanna shower first?”
His hands are all over you, lifting your chin to search your face for any scratches, even squishes your cheeks to be sure, and he’s patting you down for bruises or just to make sure all your limbs are intact. There’s a frown on his lips and it’s pretty darn cute. 
“Aw, Toji, baby. Did you miss me?”
“No.”
You roll your eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know. You’re not a child, blah blah blah.”
Walking past him to take your shoes off, hang your coat and roll your suitcase to the side, you’re inhaling the air and moaning about the delicious food in the oven. Oh, God. You’ve been craving homemade food for so long now. You might actually die if you don’t eat. 
“Come here.” Your eyes dart to him, still standing by the doorway, fists clenching and unclenching. Toji looks furious. You look closer. No, he looks…embarrassed? “Said come here, ma.”
“Why?” You ask, head titling in curiosity and slight suspicion. 
He grunts. “What? I gotta spell it out for ya?”
Laughing, you tap your foot on the ground and retort back, “Yeah, you might because you need to have a good reason for keeping me from both a good shower and a warm meal.”
Toji rolls his eyes and stalks over to you, yanking you back to his chest so he can wrap his arms around you and keep you still. It’s much softer than before, but you feel the same sense of passion, something that verges on desperation.
It’s almost like…
No. 
It can’t be. 
Oh, but when you feel his face bury itself in your neck and you hear that long inhale, followed by a deep groan vibrating through his chest, you’re absolutely sure. 
Toji missed you. 
An overwhelming feeling of love fills you, so does a sense of victory, and you just hug him back, inhaling deeply too. He smells like home, like reluctant cuddles, pats on the ass, and early morning sex. You thought you’d have the most trouble in the two weeks, which turned into three, but as it turns out, he didn’t fare much better. 
Though he’d never admit it with his own mouth, his body betrays him.
Toji doesn’t let you get very far without a hand on you somehow, whether that’s a hand on your thigh as you eat dinner side by side, instead of across from each other, or you sitting on his lap as you watch the movie you want to watch. He even waits on the toilet lid as you shower, though that only lasts a couple minutes before he’s stripping and joining you. 
“Y’r not washing y’r hair right,” he tuts. 
Getting into bed is even worse because he’s practically lying on top of you the whole night, still sniffing your neck, and with his hands exploring your body. Not really in a sexual way, which is odd for him, but as if he just wants to feel you. He wants to feel your warmth, your softness, and reassure himself you’re home. 
Soon, he’s out cold and you mumble a goodnight against his forehead.
He wakes up feeling completely refreshed, like a newborn, stretching and grinning about getting ready for the day, and frowns when you’re still fast asleep. Part of him wants to make sure you’re getting your rest, but that part doesn’t win for very long and the much bigger part is shaking you awake.
“Come on, ma. Fucking bored here. Wake up, yeah? Let’s get some breakfast. Wanna talk to ya.” 
And when you do wake up, grumbling at how loud he’s being, he ignores the glares you’re giving and the swatting of his hands. Toji gives you a rare, wide, toothy smile and he says, 
“There’s my gorgeous girl. Good morning, baby.”
Yeah, this man totally missed you. 
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jupiter-reimagined · 11 months ago
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just watched this video essay about art while i was making art and now im having so many feelings 10/10 i highly recommend it
or alternatively: Art For No One by Jacob Geller
#its almost an hour long#and is exactly the type of existentialist stuff you know i love#i wonder about what will happen to my art after i die a lot. and. hm.#the art i make is art just for me. but when i die. it will be for no one. because then i will be no one.#so i want as egotistical as i am. id probably want it destroyed.#but knowing art historians it will be very infuriating. but who needs a diary of someone dead. who needs a fragment of a man who once was#when none of it will be interpreted correctly#id rather it be destroyed. burnt. returned back to the ashes of the stars the materials i used once were#theres so many things ive done that ive never shown or told anyone. so by extension the idea of me eventually wanting to record it all#and show it online is very paradoxical i guess#i guess its just a phrase from a painting teacher i once had that stuck to me deeply#a friend asked her what she likes to paint. and she replied with#“i dont paint in my free time anymore. who needs a bunch of old paintings?”#and. hm. i suppose i relate to that. noone needs my stupid art and even less people care about it like i do#but the flesh is flawed and i am still creating. i am observing what little i see of the world and try to make sense of it via art#my sketchbooks are physical copies of the thoughts occurring in my mind and my physical itch and need to create and learn and understand#and to cry and to feel and to live#i live to make art and in return the art i make; makes me keep living#i think its getting too late and i need to go to bed#chess shh
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void-my-warranty · 8 months ago
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Ghost Lets You Help (18+)
Pairing: Simon Riley/Fem Reader/Johnny MacTavish Content Warnings: Oral (m-receiving), nutting onto partner’s body, overstimulation, she/her Reader, Reader’s hair is long enough to be gripped in someone’s hand Word Count: 3.4k
Service Dog Johnny Part 15 (full part list here)
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“How often do you jerk off?”
Your boyfriend’s fingers halt their up and down movement across your lower back, and you quickly tack on, “You don’t have to answer that, I’m just nosy, and I like you a lot.”
Simon huffs in amusement. “At home, or when I’m working?”
“At home, I guess.”
“Ehh… Just about every day.”
Your mouth pops open in surprise, because you don’t know what you were expecting, but it wasn’t that. He’s with you nearly every minute when you’re both home, and he’s certainly never given any indication of needing to sneak off to take care of something. 
But really, is it that surprising? You know first hand that he’s quite functional.
“Hmm,” you reply finally. “You’re a really interesting person.”
“It’s not that interesting.”
“Mmm… disagree. I have way more questions now.”
He turns his head to get a look at you, resting in bed with your cheek smushed into the crook of his shoulder. “Like what?”
“Like… have you jerked off today?”
“No.” His hand begins to move again, steadily smoothing against the worn fabric of your sleep shirt. 
“Would you ever want… help?” You ask casually, smiling at him. “Just like, for fun. Like a quick, wham bam… here’s my hand.”
You expect him to laugh at your little joke, but instead Simon makes that grumble in his throat that means he’s uncomfortable, and stares up at the shadowy ceiling. “It’s… ahh. It’s not easy… well, it’s a problem, having things done, sort of, to me.”
“Gotcha, okay.” Your reassurance is automatic, but you still lay there against his side for a minute with your heart clenching, wishing the worst things the world has to offer on whoever caused this. 
You know you should probably end the conversation there and not push him, but you can’t help asking, “What about if you were controlling it? No pressure of course, I’m just troubleshooting. Do you think it would be easier if you were the one just like… fucking my mouth?”
 He takes a deep breath and slides his free hand down his face, like he’s really considering it. “Maybe.”
You contain your smile to a mere tenth of what it wants to be, and add, “Well, if you ever feel like experimenting, I would really, really like to do that. And you know we could stop whenever you need.”
“You’d want to do that?” He finally glances at you, frowning slightly like he thinks you’re lying. 
“Yes! Oh my god.” You sit up in your excitement, beaming down at him. “That would be so fun.”
He assesses you like this is all new information to him. Like he never even imagined that you’d be practically creaming yourself at the chance to get him in your mouth, no matter how it happens. You’d absolutely give him that control, you’d let him fuck your face for as long as he wants if it means you get a taste of his pleasure.
“You’d like that,” he muses finally. 
Please, please, god, PLEASE.  
“Mhmm,” you reply with a heavy dose of faux nonchalance, so he’ll feel like he’s allowed to say no. 
His eyes flick to the clock on the nightstand. There’s still some time left before you usually go to bed. 
“Would you do it with the lights off?”
“Of course,” you beam. “I’m up for anything.”
“All the lights,” he reinforces sternly, as if that could possibly matter.
“Baby. You’re gonna get me excited.”
He throws his legs over the side of the bed and stays there for a minute stretching his neck out, while you remain where you are, vibrating with anticipation. Finally he sighs and glances over his shoulder at you. “Suppose you’re allowed to get excited.”
Just like that, it’s settled. 
Gleefully you spring into action to do the necessary bedtime things, scrubbing over your teeth and washing your face. When you meet him back in the bedroom, he’s for some reason staring down at a pillow that’s lying on the floor.
“What are you doing?” you ask. 
“Err… you’ll be on your knees, yeah? Would a pillow be wobbly, or?…”
This is really happening. 
“Carpet’s fine,” you assure him, scooping up the pillow and tossing it back on the bed. “It’s plenty soft, and also I don’t care.”
“Hmm.”
Ignoring you entirely, he starts stalking around the room, running his fingers over the locks on the windows and unplugging anything with a little glowing light. 
You do the only thing that’s really your job, and strip your clothes off, because surely he’ll want to look a little before the lights go out. And since he’s still meticulously getting the blackout curtains to stay as closed as they can go, you begin to plan the scene.
If he’s going to be the one fucking your mouth, if you aren’t allowed to move at all, you’re going to want something for support. The obvious thing is the bed, so you test it by getting to the floor and slipping your feet into the space under the bed frame. This could work. You have the soft edge of the mattress to lean your back against now, and it’ll be relatively comfy to give a blowjob like this. 
Your mind only focuses back to the present when Simon comes to a stop some paces away, tracing your body with his eyes. 
“Is this okay?” you ask. 
“Mhmm.” His hand comes to rest on the doorknob as his gaze floats up to your face. 
“You locked the front door. I saw.”
“Okay.” He doesn’t move though, and you can practically see him second guessing it through his unfocused expression. He won’t be able to relax unless he knows for sure.
“Go ahead and check,” you concede, “we have time.”
Instantly he’s out the door. You let your head fall back on the bed, smiling to yourself as you rest there for a moment. You stroke your hands down your stomach just to feel the softness of your own skin, and then squeeze your breasts. 
The last person who touched you was Johnny. He’s gone tonight, had to do a nighttime shooting qualification at work, so you won’t see him until hopefully tomorrow. 
What would he think, if he knew this was about to happen? Would he worry about Simon? Maybe feel like you’re pushing him too fast? It was just a couple of days ago that you were biting Johnny’s head off about feeling unwanted, and now you’re experimenting without him again. 
Your hands drop off your body as soon as the door opens. You blink up at your boyfriend who’s now towering over you, a completely different person than he was a few minutes ago.
He must have satisfied every bug in his brain, because the curtains are now the farthest thing from his mind. His eyes are liquid darkness, roving over your bare skin as he reaches behind his neck to strip his shirt over his head. He doesn’t even fold it, just wads it up and tosses it on the bed without a glance.
“You ready?” you ask innocently, shivering a little. 
“Yep.”
“Okay.” Your gaze wanders down to the situation in his pants, and you realize your mistake. “You’re more like, here, aren’t you?” You readjust, getting to your full height on your knees instead of sitting. 
“I think so.”
You put your elbows behind you to prop you up on the bed, and surreptitiously watch him cross the room to turn off the lamp.
Click.
And then it’s real.
The first thing you notice is that he did an excellent job of killing every light. There’s fucking nothing, not even the clock display to orient you to your surroundings. Granted, your eyes haven’t adjusted yet, but it’s basically pitch black, which means he has a good chance of going through with this. 
Which means—
He’s quiet, as he usually is. It’s only his unavoidable weight, and the creak of old floorboards that allows you to sense that he’s come back to you. Your body awakens with the awareness of proximity, excitement and arousal, and for some reason a little bit of fear, which doesn’t seem to diminish the other two. 
Your name comes out of his chest, slow and deep, and right in front of you.
“Yeah, baby,” you whisper, feeling more vulnerable in the darkness, because you can’t anticipate the first place he’ll touch you. 
It’s your chin. His familiar hand finds your face, and then you’ve got a palm holding each of your cheeks. Thumbs you can’t see brush across your temples, careful fingers tuck your hair behind your ears. His hands are steady as they repeat the motion, stroking the edges of your face to pet your hair out of the way. Again. Again. Gentle fingers of a patient man. 
You keep your eyes lifted as if you can see him, relaxing your body and allowing him to tilt your head back a little. Your hair gets methodically gathered into one of his hands, and then held firmly like that, in a way that makes you anticipate getting your mouth filled soon. 
But he releases it, as if he was just testing the option. His hands slip back around to your face, cupping the underside of your jaw and curling around your nape. 
“You're safe,” he tells you, for some reason.
“I know.”
His methodical breathing is all you hear as his thumb sweeps the length of your cheekbone, slowly, like he’s touching something valuable. And his other thumb finds the seam of your lips, coaxing them open with a little pressure. 
You stay soft for him while he pushes that digit past your teeth, keeping your mouth relaxed as he lets it rest on your tongue. You wait like that, letting him feel how warm and pliant your mouth is, just breathing through your nose as he caresses your face in the darkness. What a good girl you are, his thumb seems to say, skimming the tips of your lashes when you blink. So well behaved for me.
He never loses contact, even when his hand retreats from your mouth. He keeps the back of your skull resting in the cradle of his wide palm while he gets himself ready. That soft rustle of fabric shoots a thrill down your spine, has you lifting your chin a little to straighten out your throat. 
Then something warm and a little sticky kisses up against your lips, and the man you love breathes a quiet, “Open.”
Against the blanket, your fingers curl in pleasure while he eases himself into your mouth. He presses just the tip in, and then pulls back out a little, repeating the motion. It’s like he’s sampling the way it feels sliding across your tongue, so you stick it out for him to play with, just past your lower lip. He feels you do that, you can tell by the appreciative breath he lets out. He likes it. He likes picturing you here, patiently waiting with your tongue out, letting him rub his leaking tip up and down it. 
It’s so good. Your eyes drift closed on their own, mentally slipping into the skin of someone who deserves this kind of attention. You take an ungodly amount of pleasure in being toyed with like this — the slow, systematic breaking down of your psyche until all you are is a craving. A bone deep, unending ripple of want that registers your mouth as the natural place for his cock. He gets to come home now, pushing inside you and finding relief in the same act that’s getting you slick between your legs. 
You’re not sure if he does it like this on purpose to get you worked up. You’re not sure that it matters. 
“Show me how deep I can go so it’s still comfortable.” His thumb presses down on your jaw, guiding you to open wider. “This is important to me.”
Oh. Okay. Obediently you reach out and find his thigh with your hand, relaxing your mouth as he begins to push himself inside it. A happy, breathy noise leaves you when you finally feel it the way you’re meant to, finally get your mouth full of that fundamental piece of him. 
He doesn’t pause, just carefully pushes inside until he reaches the line of your gag reflex, and you offer some resistance on his leg to let him know. 
“Fuck, alright. Yeah, alright.” His  breathing is ragged between words. “Christ, you sound so pretty.”
Yeah, you’re too aroused to really hold back at this point. As he begins to slowly thrust into your mouth, you thank him for it with soft, needy throat noises. He keeps one hand around your jaw and feeds you his cock to exactly where you showed him, and it feels divine. 
You're not sure if it’s intentional, but he never fully pulls out. He never gives you a chance to collect yourself or swallow, just keeps filling your mouth until you’re no longer anxious about it ending before you’re ready. You’re dazed and content, drooling around him and communicating exactly how much you’re enjoying yourself, through every soft moan and whimper. Your lips are wet from the mess of spit and precum gathering in your mouth, and you’re getting so turned on that you swear there’s a faint sensation of something dripping down the inner crease of your thigh. 
Maybe you like this a lot. Maybe you enjoy the way your jaw aches with how thick he is. Maybe you’re glad this is lasting a lot longer than the other time, because there’s nothing that compares to getting on your knees for someone who loves you the way he does.  
“Don’t want to— Can I cum on you?”
Like he’s just remembered that you can’t talk with your mouth full, Simon quickly pulls out and stays there, holding your face and catching his breath. 
“Yeah, of course,” you say after a quick swallow. “Maybe don’t get it in my hair if you can help it.”
“I won’t.” 
He gathers your hair again in his shaking hand, and this time he uses it to hold your head steady while he sinks himself all the way to your throat. 
It has you grabbing onto the blanket while you fight back the urge to gag. You just weren’t prepared for that, hadn’t given yourself time to relax into it after he was so insistent earlier about not going too deep. One more thrust and you can’t help the way your throat constricts, the wet sputter you do when you can’t quite accommodate him. 
“Oh, fuck,” he gasps, nearly scraping himself on your front teeth in his haste to pull out. “M’sorry. Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” You lift your hand to his wrist, finding his fingers with yours and wrapping around them to make sure he doesn’t let go of your hair. “You’re alright.”
His voice still has a frantic edge. “Didn’t mean to. That wasn’t on purpose.”
“I know, baby,” you assure him, slow and calm. “Take a breath, we’re okay.”
You’re rewarded with a deep inhale and exhale from somewhere above you. Then a steady, “You’re alright?”
“Yep, I’m doing great.” You sink down the side of the bed, letting your ass rest on your feet, and draping your head back on the edge of the mattress. “And you know what?”
“What?” His fingers shift in your hair, but he doesn’t let go, so you stroke your fingers down to his wrist.
“My tits are really soft,” you tell him, letting your smile warm the words.
There’s only a beat of silence, and then a little amused huff for you. “Are they, now?”
“Mhmm. You can see for yourself, if you want.”
There’s barely a second of hesitation before you hear his knees pop, and then feel that familiar hand tracing down your collarbone to find your breast. “Mmm. You’re right.”
Your evil plan is working. “Check the other one too, just to be sure.”
Simon only stops long enough to do another deep breath, then wraps his hand around your other breast, squeezing it gently. “Yeah. Fuckin’ nice.”
Time to get him what he needs. 
“So I have these nice soft titties right here for you, right? I think you should cum on them.”
His next breath is choppy and delicious, as he runs his fingertips down the swell of your breast and fiddles with your nipple. 
“I think they would look extra pretty,” you purr at him, “with a little decoration.”
His hand leaves your skin then, and the air is so quiet that you can hear him stroking himself with your spit remaining on him. You sigh happily, letting him hold your head out of the way by your hair, so your face won’t get dirty in a minute when he cums. 
“I love your voice,” he whispers. “That little high note you do at the end of a breath, when you’re… like this.”
“Wet?” You playfully whisper back.
“Are you wet, darling?”
Your thighs seem to flex together on their own accord. “Uh huh.” 
The slick sounds pause for a beat, and then he says, “Can I feel?”
Oh, fuck. You’re definitely going to have to get your toy out after this. “Yeah, baby.”
He doesn’t let go of your hair, just reaches down with his free hand to find your thighs. You spread your knees apart on the carpet and marvel at the lack of hesitation, as he runs his fingertips up and down the outside of your pussy. 
“Jesus bloody fucking Christ.”
“I’m having a great time,” you laugh, keeping your hips as still as possible so he remains in control of the contact. 
“You are, aren’t you?” 
“Mmm, yeah.” His fingers are still stroking your soaked pussy, so you turn your head a little to kiss his wrist. “I like this, baby.”
He’s collecting your wetness, you finally realize. He gets his palm nice and slick with it, and then gets back to his feet, and starts jerking off with your arousal. 
You close your eyes and let yourself picture it, how he’s standing now with your knees between his legs. You do your best to push your tits out so they’ll get the bulk of the exterior decorating, and just relax there and let him hear your happy, horny breaths. 
His choked curse is the only warning you get before something warm and sticky hits your chest. You smile to yourself while he works himself through that orgasm, painting you with his pleasure because for some reason he’d rather do this than shoot it down your throat. 
You don’t mind, not really. You’re pretty sure it’s not a humiliation thing for him, and it’s easy enough to get cleaned up afterwards. Once his breathing has started to level out and his grip in your hair loosens, you reach up and swipe a little bit of cum off your breast. In the pitch black, he doesn’t see you suck it off your finger.
His recovery is much better this time. Maybe it’s the fact that you didn’t actually fuck, or maybe it’s because he’s processed the initial hurdle already, but he never goes nonverbal. He ends up wiping you down with his own shirt so the lights can stay off, and then he holds you in his arms while you make yourself cum with your vibrator. 
Simon reaches down to your wrist and encourages you to keep your toy on your clit while you whine and gasp through the overstimulation after your orgasm. He makes you promise not to stop before he releases your hand to play with your nipple. 
“Just a little longer,” he whispers, stroking his thumb over the sensitive point. “I know you can do it.”
He’s right. It only takes a few more minutes before you’re shaking, jerking the toy away and squeezing your thighs together through the rushing in your ears. 
You’re limp after that, a mere jellyfish washed up on the beach. Simon thinks it’s funny, keeps lifting your wrist in the air and then letting it flop to the mattress. He can’t even see it, but finds it entertaining all the same. 
“Simon?” You whisper after a few sleepy kisses.
“Hmm?”
“What do you think about clearing out the spare bedroom, and putting a bed in there for Johnny when he spends the night?”
Your boyfriend tugs affectionately at a lock of your hair. “I think that’s a bloody good idea.”
Next Part
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Dividers by the-aesthetics-shop
Chronological Read-Through Path
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simpforboys · 2 months ago
Text
Surprise! (3)
Drew Starkey x fem!singer!reader
Summary: reader and Drew celebrate the release of the ‘Perfume’ music video!
Warnings: fluff, smut, oral (f receiving), praise, swearing, male masturbation, dirty talk, missionary position, sex on couch, daddy kink, protective piv sex, boob worship (?), drinking wine, fangirling
Part one, part two, part four
taglist is full :(
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Two weeks had went by.
Two long, busy weeks of you not hearing much from Drew, other than the promotions and photo stills you would send him.
It was finally the release day, and within 18 hours, the video had already reached 200 million views.
You were currently sitting on your light grey couch, flicking through Netflix movies when your phone buzzed with a notification.
Drew Starkey: Hey, congrats on the success of the video. I’m still very honored you wanted me to he apart of it. You still down to celebrate?
Oh.
In all honesty you were expecting Drew to stop talking to you after the shoot.
But within those two weeks, you were both extremely busy, so reaching out was hard.
That didn’t mean you two didn’t text at all, it was just two or three messages a day.
Drew was notorious for being a bad texter, not to mention how filled up his schedule was.
So you never took it to heart. Or, at least tried.
But seeing the notification that he actually still wanted to hang out, wanted to celebrate with you…
Your User: hi, thank you so much! i’m still so happy and grateful you said yes <33
Your User: and yes i’m still down to celebrate!! when are you free?
Maybe the double texting was too much, but you were already a glass of wine in, and texting your celebrity crush.
To your surprise, he replied pretty quickly.
Drew Starkey: I’m actually free rn surprisingly, are you?
Oh.
You were in fact free, but ready was the better question.
No, you were not ready to see Drew fucking Starkey, especially looking like how you were currently dressed.
Only wearing sweatpants, a shirt that is three sizes too big, fuzzy socks, and no bra was not exactly presentable to meet the love of your life.
Your User: yes, but i look absolutely horrible rn
Again, another quick response.
Drew Starkey: I doubt that. Can I come see you?
You typed out a message.
Your User: CNEOSHWOSHEODNEOWHSOWBSIFBEOSBAJDBDKDHOSBSKSBDJSHS😜✊👍😜🤭🔥🫶😩
That was what you really wanted to reply with, but instead went for something more nonchalant.
Your User: yeah, you want my address?
It was never good to share your address to anyone online, especially after only meeting in person twice.
But it was Drew Starkey. You would send anything to that man, no questions asked.
Drew Starkey: Yes please
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You had spent the last 30 minutes frantically cleaning your apartment. Not that it was a complete mess, but you did want it to be cleaner than what it was.
A soft knock on your door was heard, heart pounding in your chest, hands shaking with nervousness.
Peeking through the peephole, seeing his familiar face was enough to make you almost back out.
Why did you have to be so fucking nervous? He was just a man.
Your fingers unlocked the door, opening it gently.
“Hey, Y/n.” Drew smiled warmly at you, holding a bouquet of flowers.
“Hi… come on in.” You grinned back, trying to hide the feeling in your chest.
Drew’s long legs guide him inside the apartment and he takes a second to look around.
It was cozy, and definitely you.
“I got these f’you.” He hums, holding out the flowers.
“Oh, these are my favorite flowers, Drew… you didn’t have to do that.” You awed, taking the bouquet as he practically handed it to you.
He knew they were your favorite flowers. He might have looked up y/n l/n’s favorite flower onto Google. Not that he would ever admit that, though.
“Really? Damn, lucky pick, I guess.” He chuckled, scratching the side of his neck a little sheepishly.
Putting the flowers in a vase, you realized that he was wearing sweats and a hoodie. It was 10:23pm on a Friday, and clearly you two were appreciating a night off.
It made you feel better about your outfit.
“Do you want anything to eat or drink? I have white or red wine, beer, vodka, soda, water…” You trailed off your options.
“What’re you drinking?” He hummed.
You nodded over to the coffee table, an open bottle of wine with a half filled glass on it.
“Wine.”
“I’ll just have some of that, then.” Drew murmurs.
You grabbed another wine glass and walked over to the couch, hearing his feet behind you.
Sitting down on the couch, you got all comfortable underneath the blanket again, then reached over to pour him a glass of wine.
“Cheers, to the success of ‘Perfume’, and to you.” Drew says softly, holding his glass out for you to clink.
Feeling your face grow a bit warm, you tapped your glass with his.
“Cheers to you being amazing.” You took a sip of the wine, your eyes locked onto his blue ones.
“You have a nice apartment, by the way. Forgot to say that.” He hums.
“Thank you, I wanted to make it as cozy as possible for those rare times I am at home.” You explain.
"Yeah, I get that. Life nowadays is just so hectic." He agrees, blue eyes trailing over your face, as if committing each feature to memory.
"Well, yeah. You're all big and famous now," you tease.
He chuckles sheepishly, his large hand running along the back of his head.
"You have any big plans coming up?" He asked you.
"Yeah, actually. I'm supposed to be preforming at the iHeartRadio Jingle Ball festival in a week," you nod.
"Really? Damn. That beats me, then." He joked.
"What do you have coming up?" You questioned.
"Variety is going to have Harris Dickinson and I do that Actors on Actors interview thing."
"Yeah? That sounds fun," you hummed.
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The two of you spent an hour and a half talking about life, success, and just got to know each other.
You both finished the bottle of wine and were now onto your second bottle, the two of you tipsy as you giggled on the couch.
Your body felt warm and you weren't completely sure if it was from the alcohol or the fact that a beautiful man was sitting a foot away from you on your own couch.
Drew felt the same, and one specific joke you made had him laughing a little too hard. His eyes creased in the corner as he smiled, those pretty dimples on display.
But when his large hand went to rest on your knee, the wine in your system completely fought off your anxiety, making you more relaxed.
You found yourself leaning into his touch, your hand resting atop of his.
"Your laugh is so cute, Drew," you murmured.
"Yeah? You're cute," he responded.
You bit your lip, eyes locked onto his. "Is that the alcohol talking or you?"
He grinned, shaking his head.
"That's me talking."
Oh.
"You're sweet..." you trailed off, trying to ignore how butterflies filled your belly.
He just hummed, a comfortable, tension-filled silence falling between you two.
"So, you really had a crush on me for four years?" He teased, squeezing your knee a little.
"Oh, god. We're back at this now, huh?" You grumbled in embarrassment, although there was no real malice behind your tone.
He smirked, licking his lips. "We never left it."
"I certainly did."
"Yeah? You don't have a crush on me anymore?" He murmured, the playful tone in his voice making your stomach turn more.
"I didn't say that...." you trailed off, picking at the extra skin near your nails.
His eyes trail over your form again, taking in every inch of you he can see that's not hidden by the blanket on your lap.
"Hm? Sorry, I didn't hear you."
You rolled your eyes, face hot. "I'm sure you didn't."
He laughed, scooting a little closer to you so your legs were touching.
"'m just fucking with you," he said softly.
"I know..." you glanced over at him, eyes instinctively falling down to his pretty lips.
It had been too long since you felt them on you.
Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the boost of confidence Drew had gotten, but he slowly leaned in, his free hand going to run his index finger and thumb on your chin.
"Is this okay?" He asked quietly.
"Yeah... yes..." you breathed out shakily, heart racing.
He hummed, gently connecting your lips to his own.
Feeling that familiar, addictive spark when his skin touched yours. You immediately kissed back, your left hand going to cup his jaw.
Kissing. You were kissing Drew fucking Starkey. And it wasn't for work, wasn't for cameras. He kissed you first.
Within moments, he was laying you back on the light grey couch, the fluffy blanket being left abandoned on the floor.
His tongue was in your mouth, sculpted body hovering over yours. Your thighs were spread for him to nestle in between, left hand still cupping his strong jaw, right hand in that soft brown hair.
On instinct you pulled a little on the strands, making him grunt into your mouth. He disconnected your lips, trailing sloppy, needy kisses down your jaw and neck.
Chests pressed together, it was as if you two couldn't get any closer.
"Mhmm... Drew..." you whimpered softly when he nipped at the skin of your pulse point.
"Yeah? That feel nice, sweet girl?" He murmured, voice muffled from his attention on your neck.
You nodded, legs squeezing him in between your body.
"Can I take your shirt off, baby?" He asked, not wanting to do anything you weren't desiring.
"Please.." you breathed out, heart racing, stomach flipping.
His large hand slipped the oversized fabric off and over your head, a small whine leaving him when he saw your pretty tits.
"Fuck, Y/n... you been hiding these from me?" He mumbled teasingly, continuing his line of kisses and nibbles down your collarbone, in between the valley of your breasts.
"All you needed to do was ask," you panted. Your back instinctively arched up, your chest needing some attention from his warm mouth.
He groaned at your answer, moving slightly down your body until he was eye level with your hard nipples. He swirled his tongue around the bud, blue eyes locked on your face when he sucked your nipple into his mouth.
Your body jolted a little, making him hold your side with his left hand, his right hand massaging the other stiffened bud.
He switched sides after a few moments, relishing in the sounds of your pretty moans and pants.
But something else was throbbing and aching, desperately needing his attention.
"Drew," you whined.
"Hmm?" He hummed, still worshipping your boobs.
"Need you."
"Yeah?" He cooed, reluctantly disconnecting his mouth from your right nipple as he continued to kiss down your stomach.
You nod, breathing short and needy. He got to the waistband of your sweatpants, looking back up at you.
"You can take those off too." You gave permission, already knowing what the man was going to ask.
He wasted no time in slipping the fabric down your legs, readjusting so his face was in between your spread thighs.
"Look how you ruined these panties, pretty girl... you're so needy f'me, huh?" He murmured softly.
All you could do was whine when he pressed a tender kiss to your clothed clit, the fabric absolutely soaked. It had been way too long since you'd had sex.
His large hand slid the fabric down your thighs, leaving you completely bare for him.
"So beautiful, baby. So beautiful..." he muttered, talking more to himself than you.
Your legs twitched when he flicked his tongue against your clit, hands digging in his hair.
"Drew--"
"I know, baby. Let daddy eat this pretty pussy, yeah? Just sit back and relax."
A needy whimper left your mouth, but you didn't respond. Not that you could, as he licked a stripe from your pulsating hole to the top of your clit.
He hoisted your thighs over his broad shoulders, moaning a little at your taste. His movements became more eager, beginning to lap at your cunt like a starved man.
Right hand in his hair, left hand gripping the couch. Your eyes rolled back, hips bucking up towards his face.
He made a grunt directly into your clit, another jolt of pleasure going into your body.
"Daddy... fuck..."
His piercing blue eyes were feeding off of your facial expressions, his cock throbbing in his own sweats.
He slipped two fingers into your cunt, focusing his mouth on your clit. His left hand slid down his own pants, beginning to palm his cock through his boxers.
"Yeah? Is daddy making you feel good, sweet girl?" He coos, whining a little as his own hips buck on the couch, desperate for more friction.
His noise and hips bucking made your cunt clench around his fingers, as if trying to pull him in deeper.
The knot in your stomach was already forming, almost embarrassing how quickly he turned you into a mess.
Legs trembling over his shoulders, hips rocking against his face and chin. You couldn't even announce you were coming, mind fuzzy from the pleasure.
He hummed when he noticed you releasing, continuing to lap up all your juices as he came in his pants.
When your body calmed down, he pulled away from your pussy and kneeled in between your legs.
He peeled his own hoodie off, revealing that perfect, toned body of his again. Your eyes drank in the sight, licking your lips.
“You’re so hot, Drew…” you murmured.
His ears were ringing, need coursing through his veins as he slipped off his sweats and boxers.
You had to physically hold back a gasp when you saw his cock for the first time.
People had always written it differently in all those guilty pleasure Rafe Cameron fanfics you would read when you couldn’t sleep.
But seeing it in person was just a whole new experience.
It was long and thick, which was to be expected. The man radiated big dick energy.
Pretty mushroom tip that was still leaking, his pubic hair slightly fuzzy as if he hadn’t shaved it in a week.
“Holy shit…”
“Mhm? Better than you imagined?” He asked teasingly, a smirk on his face as he grabbed a condom from his wallet.
You couldn’t help but playfully roll your eyes, a small snicker leaving you.
He rolled the condom onto his shaft, moving to hover over you again.
“Are you sure you want this, Y/n?” He asked softly, eyes gazing intently into yours.
“Yes… please fuck me, daddy.”
He let out a small groan, nestling himself in between your thighs. He used a long, strong arm to grab a couch pillow and tuck it under your hips.
You watched as he teasingly slid his head up and down your slit, tapping it against your throbbing bundle of nerves.
“Don’t tease me, please,” you beg.
Your pretty begging weakened his resolve as he slowly slid into you.
Whimpers and noises of pleasure left the both of you at the feeling, a course of energy being shared within your two bodies.
He kept pushing until he was all the way inside, giving you a moment to adjust as he captured your lips in his.
Your hands roamed over his biceps and back, loving the way the muscles flex against your palms. His skin was burning, adding to the electric feel.
When he felt you stop tensing around him, he began to slowly pull back, before pushing in, creating a delicious rhythm.
“Fuck… you feel so fuckin’ good, baby.” He moaned.
Your legs tightened around his hips, a noise leaving you as he rubbed right against that spongy spot.
“So deep, Drew… can feel you so deep,” you whined in between breaths.
“Yeah? You take this dick so good, pretty girl.”
His movements were getting a little rougher with every minute passing, both of you needing this.
Your crush on him for four years, the sexual tension you shared in the music video, the chemistry when you first met him on The Tonight Show.
It was all so surreal and felt like you were living straight out of a fanfic or dream.
His head dropped down to your chest, clearly having a thing for your hardened nipples as he nibbled gently.
Maybe one day Drew would fuck you without the condom and be able to feel your warm, velvety walls squeezing him without the protection.
He could dream.
“Shit, shit, shit.” You swore, the pillow under your hips allowing for his tip to kiss your cervix with every thrust.
“Mhm, yeah. Good girl.” He praised breathlessly, feeling a little lightheaded from everything.
The couch creaked a little beneath you two, your nails digging into his back.
He was already close, eyes fluttered shut as he lifted his head to press a kiss to your forehead.
His calloused thumb went to rub your clit, making your legs twitch around his sculpted hips.
Your cunt squeezed around his cock, your belly on fire with your building orgasm.
“You gonna cum f’me, sweet girl?” He choked out, hips snapping against yours.
“Y-yes!” You squeak, mind hazy, body trembling.
“Yeah… that’s it… let me feel you…”
His breathy words, deep penetration, and touch on your clit sent you over the edge again.
You moaned loudly, clinging onto his body as he talked you through your orgasm.
He was also talking himself through it, feeling his cock twitch as he spilled his seed into the condom.
His body was still against yours, both of you catching your breaths from the intensity.
He pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead again, his chest rising and falling.
“You okay?” He asked you softly.
“Mhm… ‘m good…”
You kissed his lips again, more gently this time. His nose brushed against yours when he pulled away, lips connecting to your cheek.
He reluctantly slid out of you, kneeling between your legs again as his blue eyes gazed down at your cunt.
“Did you bring any more condoms?” You ask after a few moments.
He looks at your face, then reaches over to grab his wallet. He pulls out two more condom wrappers.
You grinned, licking your lips.
“So are we going two more rounds or what?”
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tags!!
@slut4you @sweetlike-sugarplum @snowtargaryen @fastlovela @christinechickiee @ahgrace6 @evermorx89 @loren8818181 @eddiemuns0nl0ver @sophiesmovingcastle5 @chimchimjiminie16 @amel1ee @reader1402 @tqd4455 @rxeae @caraxes-syrax @shrimpybbq @drewstarkeysbabe @rafeswhoooreee @meropeeonmee @rafeluvrr @marvelahsobx @raeven-marie43 @fallout-girl219 @brendazzlingg @10ava01 @secretsideofbree @drewstarrrkey @p0gue420 @gibson-g1rl @kiiyomei @spiderstyles04 @sexualparkour @vinaluvsu @domainexpandme @mariadu2 @toterry @taliawz @always-reading @angvl3tears @iloveoldermenn @aesthetic-lyss @lover-girl-estxx @cadhlabear @kaiparkerwifes @herbookgarden @luvleyshif4 @caraxes-syrax @mymultiveres @reader1402 @dinnodallas @darkreymbow @vinaluvsu @sarahskywalker-amidala @christinechickiee @hoelesslyt @tincanhat @scenesofobx @james-bucky-barnackle @angvl3tears @belledawnidk @millietozier @vrsluts @chimmysoftpaws @brathwaite444 @urmanicpixieangelgirl
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tetsumie · 7 months ago
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heyy when you have the time to do so, can i request college!suna x reader angst to fluff where reader tries to spend time with suna but they get into an argument where he decides to spend time with his athlete friend group but then feels guilty and make up with reader through heart to heart conversation? 🫶🏻sorry if this is so long i have no idea how to make the prompt shorter but honestly i love all the fics you post so idc if you change it up a bit just thought i’d give an idea
𝐅𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇
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pairing: suna rintaro x gen!neutral reader
genre: hurt/comfort
content: you confront him about the growing distance in your relationship, something he's been dismissing for a while, until he finally grasps the seriousness of the situation
cw: suna is a bit harsh; arguments but they make up <3
a/n: hihi anon! ty for requesting and i hope it's to your liking :D i'm still accepting requests for my 1k event so feel free to send more into my inbox!
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"it's like i never see you anymore!"
suna and you have been in this back and forth argument for what felt like an eternity and it's draining the life out of you.
suna has been preoccupied with the upcoming inter-collegiate volleyball tournament. as a starter on the prestigious division 1 ejp raijin volleyball team, the arduous practices and pressure have been taking a heavier toll than expected on him.
as a result of this, suna has been incredibly distant in your relationship. he was always gone before you woke up in the morning and didn't return until after you fell asleep. every time you tried to plan a date or suggest something to do together, he somehow always cancels. it's always, "sorry i have to run some extra drills. maybe another day?"
it's exhausting putting this much effort into your relationship when it all seems in vain.
you've tried bringing this up to suna before, mentioning how you would like to spend more time together. but suna, being suna, always brushed it off. but there's only so much dismissal you can take.
you really miss your boyfriend.
but you're not sure he misses you the way you miss him.
"y/n you can't expect me to drop everything for you! like fuck, i have a life outside of you," he exclaims, snapping you back to the current argument at hand.
"i didn't say that, rin."
"that's what you're trying to say," he replies, crossing his arms over his chest.
you shake you head, lowering your voice. "i know volleyball always has and always will be a top priority for you but i just wish... well, it would be nice if you could put a bit of effort into our relationship."
"what if i don't even want to anymore..." he mumbles under his breath as he walks to the closet, grabbing a coat.
the rage in your heart and mind now simmer down to a feeling of dread and heartbreak. what?
as he turns around, he sends an icy glare at you. you've never seen this side of him and you refuse to let him see you crumble apart in front of him. you refuse to break down right now.
"you don't want to what, suna?" you look at him, tone icy cold. "go on. tell me."
the heated environment is making his mind all cloudy and he wants to end this conversation now.
"you know what i mean, y/n. i'm going out. don't call me."
the door opens and slams shut.
the moment the door closes, you're completely still. you're running on autopilot. you find yourself making a cup of tea and sitting at the dining table, looking at the empty, lifeless apartment sprawled in front of you.
subconsciously, the tears started to roll. i guess that's it then. i think i better start packing my things. i should be gone by the time he comes back home.
meanwhile, suna makes his way downtown to the bar where some of his volleyball friends had invited him out for a couple drinks. he opens the door to the bar and he can hear the familiar rowdiness of his friends.
"well, well, well, if it ain't the infamous sunarin from ejp," a familiar blonde comes running to him. "been too long since i've seen ya stupid ass."
"yeah yeah whatever asshole," suna slaps the back of atsumu and nods over at osamu who's sitting on the table. "it's good to see you both."
as suna and atsumu head to the table in the back with the rest of his friends, his mind can't help but linger back to the argument that he had with you. but he decides to shake his mind off it.
he's here to have fun with his friends right now. not be worried about you.
"you didn't bring y/n tonight?" komori, suna's teammate, asks. "i haven't seen them in a hot minute. what've they been up to?"
what have you been up to? he doesn’t know. when was the last time we both had an actual conversation? he doesn’t know. he doesn’t even know what's been going on in your life lately. fuck this is what y/n meant.
he forces a smile, masking the bitter thoughts playing in his mind. "they're good. just doing their classes and stuff."
"ah right, well bring them by sometime! it's been too long since i've seen them. they never fail to light up the room with their presence."
"yeah you're right."
he nods, taking small sips from the beer in front of him.
as the conversation and chaos ensue among his friends, his mind keeps drifting back to the memories of the argument he walked out on. his mind has cooled off and a sense of guilt starts to take over his body.
here he is having fun with his friends while you're at home all alone, waiting for him. you just wanted to spend time with him and here he was, finding comfort in other people other than you.
he tries to remember the last time you both had gone out together but he's drawing a complete blank. he can't even remember the last time he's kissed you or held you in his hands.
no wonder you've been feeling so lonely.
and in response, he just kept brushing you off until you blew up today. and to make matters worse, he walked out of the argument giving you no sense of reassurance or closure on the matter.
at the realization, suna shoots up out of his seat with flushed cheeks. the group turns to him.
"i gotta head out for the night. i gotta see my baby."
"get a fuckin' room sunarin," osamu shouts. the rest of the groups howls in agreement. "see ya."
he waves goodbye and starts trudging his way back to the shared apartment. he expects to find you asleep so he can crawl into bed with you and cuddle, never intending on letting you go.
so you can imagine the surprise when he opens the door and sees the bedroom light on and hears rustling noises. "baby?" he calls out. "y/n?"
he takes off his shoes and coat and walks to the bedroom. he starts to internally panic at the sight in front of him.
you have a couple of suitcases out filled with your clothes and belongings. at a glance, he can see that your side of the closet is almost empty. you've even taken down a couple of the decor pieces in the room that you bought but he was never particularly interested in. with your headphones in, you’re focused on packing, but what breaks him the most is seeing you wipe your eyes as you do so. why are you even packing? where are you going?
and then it hits him.
not only did he make it seem like he didn’t want to make this relationship work, but his actions have been driving you away. fuck, this was bad. he didn't mean any of it. he has to fix it or he's gonna lose the best thing in his life for good.
he goes over to you and taps your shorted and you yelp, startled by the 6'2" man, hovering above you.
"what the hell are you doing?" suna asks, cocking an eyebrow at you.
you wipe your eyes. "i'm leaving."
"don't be ridiculous," he scoffs.
"ridiculous?" you laugh at the absurdity of his comment. "what's ridiculous is how you walk out of an argument not even wanting to work things out. what's ridiculous is how you just continue to put me aside like i’m some side piece."
he knows you’re hurting. and it’s all his fault.
he doesn’t know how to properly express everything he needs to say to you.
so in the heat of it all, he does what he thinks is the next best thing and kisses you.
you'd forgotten this feeling. his soft lips on yours and how they fit together just right. it's the softest kiss he's ever given to you and your heart swells at the gesture.
you pull away and you plop yourself on the floor to process what just happened.
right there and then, he looks at you. he really looks at you. he notices the way you have some baby hairs popping out and your cheeks feel warm from all that crying. he notices the way your eyes look slightly puffed out and the remnants of tears on your cheeks.
i'm the cause of this. this is all my fault.
"i’m sorry," he begins.
you sigh and look away mumbling to yourself. "you’ve said that before. it doesn’t change anything."
"and you’re right."
you look up at him, surprised by his admission. "w-what?"
"you’re absolutely right, y/n."
he crouches down to your level, resting his hand on your knee so he can look you in the eye.
"i shouldn't have made it seem i wasn't willing to put in the effort into making us work," he says, gesturing between you and him. "my actions and what i said to you a couple hours ago obviously made it seem that way and i'm an absolute dumbass for not picking up on it."
you’re silent. he searches your face, looking for any speck of emotion, but he still can’t read you. in the amount of time he's known you, you’ve always been the exception.
"i've been swamped with so much work lately and i know i need to do better. i spread myself so thin that i forgot to prioritize the things and the people that matter the most to me."
you're silent, unsure of what to say to him.
"i thought i was doing the best i could do until i realized i could be doing so much more for us and for you. i'm so sorry for not being here."
"i know rin," you whisper. finally, for the first time you look up from your lap to look at him. "it just felt like you didn't care about us anymore. you're the hardest worker i know but i just wish you were here sometimes."
"and i wouldn't be able to be that hard worker without your love and support, you know," his hand cups your cheek as he runs his thumb across the tear streaks on your face.
"i realize how absent i’ve been in our relationship lately and i can’t imagine how lonely you’ve been feeling. i want to make this relationship work with you. i know i suck at being sappy and shit but you really are my other half. no matter what it takes, i’ll make us work. i’ll fight for this relationship. i'll fight for us."
"oh, rin," you sigh and wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him in close for a hug. the tears begin to flow from your eyes.
he feels his eyes glaze over. he breathes in your familiar scent and feels a warmth he’s missed.
even after everything, you still love him.
he starts with a gentle kiss on your cheek, then starts peppering your face with soft kisses.
you let out a watery chuckle, making his heart skip a beat. he hasn't heard your laugh in forever and he swears to himself to never be the reason for your tears again.
"let's go to bed now baby. i've gotta cuddle away all the pain i've caused you."
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© tetsumie 2024 all rights reserved
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4-the-l0ve-0f-art · 1 month ago
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Reverse isekai... Caleb... Cat...
Caleb loved you more than anything in this world. 
Or at least, that's what you would've liked to imagine if he was real. But he isn't. And you're not in a pixelated little world called Linkon City and none of your hopes and dreams about having a happily ever after with your military husband and childhood best friend were coming true. 
You stared at the fanfic left open on the phone screen, wishing to see your husband in your dreams to ease the ache of loving someone you could never have while in your loneliest moments. 
If only he could be real. If only he could become real from Astra knows what power and fall in love all over again. With you this time instead of the MC who seemed to resemble anything but you. If only. Too much to ask for, yes, you know. 
No, he wasn't real, and no, he wasn't there to fall in love with you as you did with him. And you had your own life to live and work to do and tough times to get through on your own tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that. 
So, leaving you no other choice, you drifted off to sleep as the delusion shattering ache in your heart seeped in.
-
It was raining. You opened up your umbrella next to the entrance of your workplace, greeting your coworkers goodbye. You were tired. Your brain was fried from working since morning and you felt like the walking dead. 
The thoughts of cooking something up for dinner made you feel like flopping down on the sidewalk you were walking on and passing out. You had the free will to do that, of course, but the rain pitter pattering along with your dragged steps only reminded you of all the cleaning you would have to do after practicing your so-called free will. 
The street lights turned on and you continued onward, just a block away from your home. 
As you walked by an alleyway, your heart almost jumped out of your chest at the sound of metal clashing onto the ground. You froze, holding your breath as you turned around. 
You waited. 
One beat. Two beats. 
Nothing. 
And then, there it was again, the sound of something thuding around. 
Without thinking, you made your way towards the source of the sound, your heart bearing in your ears. A dumpster came into view. 
Something, or someone, seemed to be struggling inside. You called out. 
“Hello..? Is anyone in there..?” Your voice trembled. 
No reply.
You slowly got close to the dumpster and opened the cover with shaking hands. 
Widened blue-pink eyes with a pair of black ears and tail stared up at you through the piles of garbage. 
“What the fuck?”
-
The cat jumped out of your hold as soon as you entered your home, shaking off water from its fur and scampering away from you as fast as it could while you were struggling to put down the wet umbrella. 
“Okay, rude? I bring you home with me to avoid the guilty conscience that would follow tomorrow if I found you dead from the cold somewhere and you pay me off by drenching my floorboards!”
You let out a frustrated sigh. 
He silently watched you from a corner of the room as you made your way to the kitchen island to wash off your hands. 
“Make yourself at home, I guess..” You mumbled, more to yourself than to him. 
I have a cat in my apartment. What now? 
-
First and foremost, it was bathtime. You were NOT about to let a stinky ass wet fur ball run around your home. 
You tried to pick him up again but he bolted around the living room, paw pads making skittering noises in the process.
After about 10 minutes of running around, you gave up, standing defeated. You called out to him as a last resort. 
“I just want to give you a bath. Please.”
“Mreow!” He protested, sitting on top of the kitchen island. 
“Fine. Whatever. Live with the stink all you want. I'm tired and you're taking up my gaming time.” You rolled your eyes. 
Maybe leaving him alone for a while will ease him a little.. You hoped. 
And so, you turned around and sat down on the couch with the TV remote in hand, ready to open YouTube and rewatch the same goddamn trailer for the 100th time. 
[Love and Deepspace | Caleb's Trailer]
-
He didn't know how he ended up here. One moment he was feeling immense, needle pricking pain across his entire body, the next he was in a dumpster. With paws instead of hands. And the world seemed thrice as large and intimidating. 
Well, At least I have shelter from the rain for now.. Though I feel like a wet rat. 
He watched the girl settle down on the couch. 
I wonder how long I can stay here. I need to figure things out..
Then, he heard something that caught his eye. 
“What, you don't recognize me?”
He stared at the video playing on the TV screen. 
“Did you honestly think I would always be the kind hearted boy from your childhood?”
His ears perked up, all pointy, and his eyes widened. 
That's me. 
He watched as the figure on the screen bit an apple as lightning flashed in the background. 
That. Is. Me. On the TV. 
A/N: Interest check? Very self indulgent... Kinda, sorta, really wanna turn this into a one-shot fic maybe... Haha.. Ha.. But I'll have to play through all the content released in the past few months.. 😭
Wrote this half asleep someone bonk me to sleep please
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gothicfied · 2 months ago
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(Squid game s2) Can you write a comfort fic about an insecure reader has past trauma and has endured Highschool bullying. When she joins the games and is in the group (Gi-hun, Dae-ho, Jun-hee & others) but once they meet Jun-hee she gets pushed aside and has to join another group in the second game. Feel free to change or add anything, the pairing could be Daeho x reader but it’s up to you <33
Never alone again - Kang Dae-ho / Player 388
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Pairing: Kang Dae-ho / Player 388 x Reader
Summary: After seeing you almost die, Dae-ho swore he wouldn't leave your side ever again.
Warnings: Mentions of death/dying, gunshots (typical squid game stuff), other than that it's just fluff, not proof read (english isn't my first language)
Word Count: ~ 1.2k
A/N: hii! tysm for the request and I hope I did it justice.
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You believed Gi-hun from the start. You believed he was right, no sane person would just say stuff like that, right? That they kill each player who gets eliminated? He seemed too damn serious for it to be a lie. And lo and behold, he was right. People. Shot dead. Right in front of you. Red-Light-Green-Light was a traumatic experience. You wanted to quit, you wanted to go home, go home and hug your parents and just be grateful to still be alive.
It was like the universe had turned against you. How wasn't everyone scared out of their minds like you? Was money really all that mattered to them? A heated discussion broke out during the first voting, angry voices yelling at each other, accusing Gi-hun of lying. You took all the courage you had left in you to try and stand up for him, at least make it known that you sided with him. Past experiences, especially your school time, usually made it hard for you to speak up, but that shouldn't really be an issue right now — You could end up dead, that's what worried you. After the voting, that didn't go your way at all, Gi-hun showed gratitude for your courage to say something and suggested you'd stick with him from now on.
Added to your group were In-ho, the last player who actually voted 'O', Jung-bae and Dae-ho, who were both former marines. While eating the lunch provided to you by the guards, those two immediately bonded over their former occupation, which you found endearing. Even though you were currently still to shy to join in on their conversations, you were content with just having a group you could stick to — Because you were sure you absolutely wouldn't survive in here alone.
"And, what's your name?" Dae-ho asked, as hd took a seat on the stairs next to you, happily eating his food. When you told him he gasped, almost chocking in the process. "That's my sisters name!" he laughed, nudging your shoulder with his. You just replied with a little "Oh? No way." and then he began rambling about his life, about his four sisters, about how his father sent him to be a marine and so on. He closed his monologue saying "Anyway, that's a really pretty name." and then proceeded to ask you for your leftover food. He made you laugh, which was nice considering you all were stuck in this hellhole.
In Dae-ho's opinion, you two had a lot in common, even if you didn't at all. He suggested you slept in the bed right under his which was.. well, free now after the first game. At night, you couldn't help but overthink your interactions with not only him, but the other three guys, too. They were so nice and welcoming. All of them had a special attribute that will probably be useful in the coming few days.. and you? You had the feeling that you brought nothing to the table.
The next day, a vast majority of the players went into the second game with the impression that this will be Dalgona, like Gi-hun predicted. Apparently not. The female voice over the speakers ordered the players to form groups of five. "Ah, how perfect," In-ho smiled, "guess we'll be a group then." You looked between the men, nodding in agreement and just when you were about to say something-
"Excuse me, are you maybe searching for one more person-?"
"Oh, no I'm sorry, we're actually already five peo-"
"I'm pregnant."
The girl cut Jung-bae off, resting her hands on her pregnant belly. You raised your eyebrows in shock and no one really seemed to know what to do next. Oh, you felt bad for her. She must've been very desperate if she entered the games while being pregnant. You five were just looking at each other confused, until you took a deep breath: "It's okay, I'll find another group. She needs to be with people she can absolutely win with." You looked at the girl and she looked back, slowly giving you a grateful smile. "No it's okay I'll go-" Dae-ho tried to say, but you waved him off, shaking your head.
"Well.. No, you can't just.."
"Dae-ho," In-ho said in a low tone, putting a hand on his shoulder, "she's pregnant." he said, like Dae-ho needed a reminder of what was right in front of him. You weren't that important to the team anyways, and that girl needed your help. So, it was decided, and in the end you did find a team of three players who voted 'X', like you, and one who didn't. You felt fairly safe with these people and even if you didn't, you didn't have much of a choice.
The game was a six-legged pentathlon with five mini games you had to split between each team member to complete. Watching the first few teams go was an absolute adrenaline rush, given the small amount of time of five minutes, the first few players were shot on sight pretty early on. This made you nervous to the point where you could throw up. Your original group was sitting a few meters away from youd current one and you did lock eyes with Dae-ho quite a bit, him giving you reassuring glances or a thumbs up. You mustered up a smile, trying yo calm your thoughts down.
I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this-
Oh but you could. Your team, which came before Gi-hun's, barely made it over the finish line with three seconds to spare, making the crowd of waiting players roar and cheer and yell "Good job!". The most time you lost was at Gonggi, thankfully not your mini game. Being able to beat yours on the first try filled you with the confidence you needed, which was probably the only thing that kept you up on your feet. Speaking of which, the shackles, that bound your left leg together with the player next to you, were taken off of them and you were free to go. Well, back into the dorm area.
Anxiously, you sat on your bed and waited, for your team. Players streamed in, one after the other, just not the ones you were so desperate to see. You were biting your fingernails, your thoughts being flooded with the fear of them all just dying, being left alone to survive this shit.
Suddenly, you heard a voice call out for you. It was Dae-ho (who else?) who basically sprinted to you. Before you could even stand up to reciprocate his hug, he pulled you up into his arms, squeezing the air out if his lungs. "Do you know how scared I was?" he sounded really out of breath. You didn't reply, just hugged him back the best you could and watched Jung-bae laugh to himself, watching the two of you. "I'm so glad you're alive! I'll never let you do that again, okay? Next time, I'll be the one to find another group.. not you okay?" His word vomit just wouldn't stop.
"Let's hope there won't be a next time."
"Obviously there won't be, I won't ever let you leave again."
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okaylikeschaewon · 2 months ago
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Hotter-N-Funner
~10k words, Roommates series, smut, Part 1 here
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“... part of a punishment.”
“She did what?!” Mint shouted through the door right before a thundering crash echoed in the room.
“Mint? You alright?!” you called out, holding your ear to the door. “Mint?”
“Yeah, all good!” Mint’s disheveled voice came through. After a couple of seconds, he opened the door, rubbing his hip. “I fell.”
“You fell in the toilet?”
“Not in the toilet you idiot,” Mint shoved your shoulder. “So, tell me, how the fuck did you manage that on the first date?”
“A bit of an odd story honestly,” you started.
“How odd could it be?” Mint asked while grabbing a bag of chips off the counter. “Sounds like a simple case of another college hoe being horny.”
“Be nice,” you scolded him. “She’s actually really sweet. No jokes like that when she stops by.”
“She’s coming over?” Mint gasped through a handful of chips. “I can’t even remember the last girl you’ve had over.”
“I mean it,” you snatched the bag out of his hands and took a chip for yourself. “I really like this girl, I want to see where it goes.”
“Do you actually like her or do you just like that she’s hot as fuck?” Mint asked while he took another chip from the bag as you held it out for him. “What about that bartender you’ve been chatting up?”
“I don’t know man. I don’t think she’s actually interested in a serious relationship anyway, even if I did want that. I’m happy just being friends,” you replied. “But back to this girl, seriously, I had such a good time with her. And sure, it helps that she’s hot as fuck.”
“Yeah of course you had a good time with her sucking-”
“Stop it,” you gave Mint’s arm a little shove. “That’s the one part I kinda regret.”
“Regret? The fuck?” Mint cocked his eyebrows. “Head game that weak?”
“No, that definitely wasn’t the problem,” you sighed. “I just like… almost feel like we robbed ourselves of having a really special first time… does that make sense?”
“No.”
“Maybe you’re right,” you mumbled as you picked up a couple of dirty glasses from the table.
“Here,” Mint took the glasses from your hands. “Of course I get what you’re saying, and you already know I support whatever decision you wanna make. Just tell me though, why do you think this girl’s so special already?”
“Well,” you began before pausing to think for a moment. “One could argue the coffee date and even what happened in the bathroom was kinda forced-”
“You don’t say?” Mint dramatically gasped, feigning shock.
“But lunch wasn’t,” you continued, ignoring his theatrics. “And it went fucking perfectly, we just meshed so well, I swear I could talk to her for hours. The vibe, her energy, everything was just so… when I think about her right now, I think about lunch, not the coffee shop.”
“Sounds like my roommate’s in love already,” Mint teased. “Devil’s advocate, she was just using you for the free meal.”
“She paid for it.”
“You let her pay? That’s not like you.”
“Not exactly,” you elaborated. “We were hitting it off pretty well and the idea of me treating her to dinner sorta came up, so she snuck off to the bathroom and did the whole pay behind your back thing.”
“This might be the most unbelievable part of the story,” Mint chuckled. “Why the hell would she do that?”
“Obviously I don’t know for sure, but this is why I’m telling you I feel like there’s something more here,” you explained. “She could have easily done her punishment and then left, or even taken the free lunch and then left, but I think her logic was if I’m treating her to dinner later that she should take care of lunch.”
“Hmm,” Mint pondered for a moment. “Maybe you’re right about there being something here, and maybe she feels the same way. That would explain why she doesn’t want to make it seem like she’s using you for a meal.”
“I hope so, guess I’ll find out more tonight.”
“You like her enough to give up your fuck buddy? I doubt she’d be cool with you having one.”
“Absolutely, even after just one date with her.”
“That’s crazy, you’d actually throw away what you have?”
“I mean, she’s graduating this year anyway, how many more times am I realistically going to fuck her?” you considered your options. “Girl’s a damn genius and beautiful, she’ll be fine without me.”
“You’re losing her roommate, too,” Mint added jokingly.
“Damn,” you muttered under your breath with a smirk, thinking back to some wild nights. “I kinda forgot about that part.”
“Not so easy anymore, is it?” Mint teased.
“It’s fine, seriously Mint, I haven’t felt this way about a girl since Rina,” you replied. “But it’s also way too early, I’ve known this girl for less than a day.”
“What, you haven’t started picking baby names yet?”
“First I have to work on making the babies.”
“I hope she’s good at that part, otherwise you’re throwing away an absolute dime piece for nothing,” Mint laughed.
“Or, hear me out, I just won’t make it official until next year. That way I’m still clear until Sana graduates.”
“You realize half the guys at this school would literally kill to have what you have going on, and you’re here playing games?”
“I had my fun with her, I guess I’ll be doing half the school a favor by moving on.”
“Have I ever told you that you’re an absolute fuckboy?” Mint scoffed. “Sana is not just a toy for you to use.”
“Once or twice, I think,” you chuckled. “What was the first time again? When I brought that one girl back last year?”
“Oh yeah, the one with the massive rack, right? She was so fucking fit, can’t lie, I was pretty jealous of that one.”
“Yeah,” you sighed heavily. “I still think about her to this day. She’s really the one who got away.”
“Maybe if you didn’t decide to fuck her best friend, she wouldn’t have gotten away,” Mint burst out laughing as he snatched the bag of chips back. “Absolute idiot.”
“I was drunk.”
“Not an excuse,” Mint kept laughing.
“She was drunk!”
“Even if we accept that excuse - which we don’t,” Mint began shaking his head. “How do you justify the second time?”
“We were horny,” you shrugged.
“Idiot,” Mint chuckled. “The roommate had a cute smile though, I don’t entirely blame you.”
“Yeah, what was her name again?”
“Bro, you’re the one who slept with her,” Mint shook his head in disbelief, laughing at you. “It started with an ‘N’.”
“‘N”? Shit, I really got nothing.”
“Fuckboy,” Mint sang, before gasping. “Wait, should I be concerned about your roommate fetish?”
“Yeah, lock your door when you sleep,” you said casually while cleaning up some dishes left on the coffee table. “Mind helping me? I don’t want Zuha to get the wrong idea.”
“Fuck, even her name is hot.”
“Idiot,” you tossed an empty can at him.
“I know she’s pretty and all,” Mint began helping you clean up. “But seriously? I can’t remember a single time you’ve cleaned up just for a girl. Now that I think about it, you almost never bring them back to our room.”
“Not almost never. Never, not after Rina,” you replied as you fixed the pillows on the couch. “We have any Febreze left?”
“Yeah, in my room,” Mint answered as he tidied up. “Promise me one thing though.”
“What’s up?” you asked as you walked back into the living room.
“If you’re going into this one with serious intentions, promise me you’ll take it slower this time,” Mint responded. “You know I don’t give a shit what you do with your random hookups, but this isn’t a random hookup.”
“Is this because of Rina?” you asked as you casually sprayed ‘Ocean Mist’ into the air. “I told you, I’m all good with that situation.”
“I know you are,” Mint replied. “It’s just that sometimes when you climb too high too fast, the fall ends up being a lot harder.”
“Alright Socrates, relax.”
“Seriously bro, you know I’m just looking out for you.”
“I know,” you gave Mint a tight hug. “I really appreciate you, thank you.”
“And her name was Nayeon, you idiot.”
“Oh,” you gasped, louder than intended, caught off guard by how stunning Kazuha’s figure looked in her skirt and jacket.
“I’m not overdressed am I? I know you mentioned it was a casual place, I can quickly go change if-”
“You look stunning, I love how it brings out your smile.”
“Oh, thank you,” Kazuha turned away slightly, blushing profusely.
It could not be any more obvious that she was nervous.
“Please, come in,” you opened the door wide and stepped aside, a rush of warmth flowing through your body. Kazuha gracefully stepped into your room, leaving you admiring her long, slender legs with each step. She paused ever so slightly as she walked past you before looking around your room. “Have a seat, I’ll be right there.”
Kazuha nodded before stepping across the room and taking a seat on your couch, placing her small black purse on the side table. You quickly stepped into the kitchen and placed two flutes on the counter before filling them generously with champagne and walking over to Kazuha.
“Thank you,” Kazuha respectfully accepted the glass with a warm smile.
“You’re welcome,” you replied, taking a seat next to her.
The two of you took a sip together before placing your glasses to the side. For a moment, she simply stared at you, smiling nervously. Without speaking, you slid your body closer before wrapping your arm around the back of the couch behind Kazuha’s body.
“You smell really nice,” Kazuha commented, leaning forward into you slightly.
“Do I?” you replied, tilting your head slightly.
“Yeah,” she mumbled softly right in front of your lips as she closed her eyes.
The world around you began to gracefully fade away, leaving just you and Kazuha in a shared moment of pure intimacy. Your lips met, gentle at first, a tender brush sending a spark through your body, before gradually becoming more passionate. You found yourself losing yourself in Kazuha’s warmth as your lips pressed deeper against hers.
While the kiss, slow and lingering, continued, your hand found its way to Kazuha’s thigh where it softly pressed against her soft skin. Your other hand fell from the back of the couch to the back of Kazuha’s neck. You savored each moment of closeness, that delightful hint of strawberry inundating your brain with a warm sweetness. Her hand gently made its way to yours, her delicate fingers softly intertwining with your own. The tenderness of your fingers lacing together amplified the connection - invoking a deeper sense of comfort, grounding you in the moment.
Instinctively, your bodies pulled closer, your hand slid down from Kazuha’s neck to the middle of her back, while her arm snaked underneath yours to wrap around your body. The hold you had on each other tightened while remaining tender, a subtle dance of intimacy with your bodies as your mouths stayed glued to each other’s lips.
Finally, the two of you break apart the kiss, breathing heavily into each other’s mouths. No words were shared, just an intense gaze as your eyes locked, turning the connection electric. For just a moment, the silence of your feelings was being taken in, the squeeze of Kazuha’s fingers against your body was all you felt.
Then, suddenly, she let go of your body as both of her hands grabbed your face while her lips collided against yours. Initially, you were pushed back by the sudden fierce urgency, but then with equal hunger and desperation you found your strength - now it was Kazuha’s turn to fall backwards.
The kiss was an overwhelming whirlwind of emotions, blurring your senses until you found yourself with your hands on Kazuha’s hips as her back hit the couch. She spread her legs, making room for you to move even closer as your body nestled into hers, still with electricity and passion flowing through the kiss.
With audacious intrepidity, you slipped a hand up Kazuha’s skirt, resting it against the side of her soft upper thigh. She gasped into your mouth, but she didn’t pull away - in fact, she did the opposite. She curled her fingers into your hair, pulling you even closer somehow, your bodies colliding, a testament to your shared passion, urging you to keep going.
Everything just felt right. This kiss felt right. Kazuha felt right. Your brain was desperately trying to make sense of your heart right now, and you found yourself coming to the conclusion that you wanted, needed, Kazuha. Nothing else made sense, the connection was too compelling. Then, you finally pulled away, leaving Kazuha breathless and wide-eyed, you could really feel the fire that the two of you just shared. Your heart was racing, beating out of your chest as you smiled down at Kazuha who was smiling back.
“I should have asked earlier, but you eat sushi, right?” you asked as you sat back up.
“Of course, I love sushi,” she answered, still breathing heavily.
“Perfect, you’ll love this place,” you replied, helping her sit up by taking her hand. “Ready to go?”
“Yeah, one second,” she paused, reaching for her glass of champagne and downing it. “Ready!”
“Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, who woulda thought our day would end up like this?” Kazuha smiled as she picked up another piece of otoro.
“Breakfast is a wild thing to say.”
“Oh my God,” Kazuha choked, laughing at your reference once she understood what you meant.
“Sorry, that was probably inappropriate.”
“It’s fine,” she laughed, taking a sip of her sake. “If anything, I’m surprised we’ve almost gotten through two meals without bringing it up.”
“Was I supposed to? I can’t say I’ve ever had an experience like that before,” you chuckled, taking a sip of sake as well.
“Trust me, it was new for me as well,” Kazuha replied. “I’m really enjoying spending the day with you.”
“I want to be completely honest with you, I really like you, a lot,” you started cautiously. “I know it’s super early, but I just feel something so special with you.”
“I really like you a lot, too,” Kazuha smiled warmly, showing you that smile, the one that absolutely melted your heart. “It doesn’t feel like the first day, it feels like we’ve been dating for a while already.”
“In a way, this is sort of the third date.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” she giggled before turning slightly more serious. “So then, can I be honest with you for a second?”
“Of course you can, anything at all,” you replied warmly, leaning forward slightly to show her you were fully engaged.
“I promise it’s not because of attraction, because I really am attracted to you, but I sorta regret what happened in the bathroom this morning.”
“Oh my God, me too!” you couldn’t control your excitement. “Sorry, please finish what you were going to say.”
“It’s just that… it’s going to sound a bit stupid, so please don’t make fun of me for it,” Kazuha began blushing. “I almost feel like I ruined a special moment?”
“I swear if I had a ring I’d be on my knees right now, I thought the exact same thing!”
“Really?” her eyes lit up, making her the most pure and beautiful girl in the world in your mind. “I’ve been thinking about it ever since lunch, I wish we could have found each other without the stupid punishment.”
“Look, Zuha,” you reached your hand forward and gently took hers. “It happened, but we can move on from that. I think you’re very special, I’d love nothing more than to see this out properly if you’re also willing.”
“I am,” she smiled softly, giving your hand a quick squeeze. “But if you’re asking me to be your girlfriend, I think the first day is still a bit too early.”
“Absolutely,” you agreed. “Let’s forget this morning ever happened and we can do things properly. The way we want.”
“I’d love that,” she blushed again.
“I have another one, sorta related.”
“Yeah? Shoot.”
“What do you think about being exclusive? I get it if you think it’s too early.”
She pondered the question for a moment, taking another sip and slowly putting down her glass before answering. “I don’t think it’s too early, at least, I don’t feel like it is,” she answered slowly. “I’m not actually talking to anyone else right now, but I’d be willing to make this exclusive if you are.”
“Me too.”
Kazuha hesitated, waiting for you to continue.
“It’s complicated,” you added.
“Oh, alright,” she replied, looking a bit disheartened.
“There’s this girl,” you began explaining. “We’re not in a relationship or anything, but we have a bit of a friends-with-benefits type thing going on.”
“Oh.”
“I know that’s probably not what you wanted to hear, and I’m sorry, but I really want to be honest with you, and of course I promise I’m done with that stuff now,” you replied softly. “My last serious relationship had some… I just don’t want to go through that again, I’d rather be honest with you about everything.”
“I get that, my last relationship also wasn’t great,” Kazuha frowned. “No, you’re right, thank you for telling me. If you don’t mind, do you think we can maybe keep past relationships to ourselves going forward? Sorry, but I don’t know if it’s something I want to hear-”
“You don’t have to explain, trust me, I get it,” you interjected warmly. “And I’ll say the same for you. We’ve both gone through stuff. I'm here if you need someone to talk to about it, but I don’t need to know every specific detail. The past is the past, it doesn’t affect whatever our relationship ends up being.”
“Thank you,” Kazuha smiled again, visibly relaxing as you spoke the right words. “Do you mind if I step away to the bathroom real quick?”
“Of course not, but you have to promise me you won’t pull that trick again,” you answered, flashing her a suspicious look. “I told you I’m treating you to dinner, this one’s on me.”
“Fine,” she smiled, rolling her eyes. “I promise.”
With that, Kazuha got up from the table, gracefully making her way across the restaurant. Her movements, fluid as possible, had you completely in awe, unable to take your eyes away. The way her skirt showcased her perfect legs, accentuating those meticulously sculpted curves, she had your breath catching in your throat, mesmerized and captivated by her grace.
She left this imprint on your mind, convincing you that she was something special. The honeymoon effect was hitting hard, even though you weren’t officially together, you knew it was inevitable at this point - you were going to make Kazuha your girlfriend.
“I’m getting this.”
“No you’re not,” you pushed her hand away and tapped your card against the reader.
“You got dinner, this isn’t fair,” Kazuha argued.
“And you’re pretty, what’s your point?”
Kazuha began blushing again, her fingers struggling to put her card back into her wallet. “Th-That has nothing to do with anything,” she stammered, unable to hide how flustered she would get whenever you gave her cheesy compliments.
“Sure it does,” you replied, reaching forward and taking her card from her shaking hand and inserting it into her wallet for her. “I appreciate the gesture, but really, it’s like four dollars, not a big deal.”
“Alright fine, thank you,” she replied, cheeks still flushed a light pink as she accepted her wallet back. “Have you been here before?”
“Nope, first time,” you answered as the two of you sat down. “You?”
“Yeah a couple of times, it’s really good.”
“Ah, so that’s how you picked the flavor so quickly.”
“Actually, it’s my first time trying this one,” Kazuha giggled nervously. “I kinda wanted to try something new, make a new memory with you…”
Your heart skipped a beat. “That is actually so sweet, wow,” you muttered, staring into her beautiful round eyes. “Hopefully it’s good then.”
“Or really bad.”
“Huh?”
“Think about it,” Kazuha began explaining. “Just like when you go to a restaurant, you generally remember the really good and really bad, no one remembers the average stuff.”
“Ah I see what you mean,” you responded. “That’s true, but I promise you I’m not going to forget this ice cream no matter how good, bad, or average it is.”
“And why’s that?” Kazuha chuckled, leaning back in her chair. “Don’t tell me, is it because you’re sharing it with me?”
“How’d you know?”
“You’re getting predictable,” Kazuha laughed, smiling brightly.
“And you’re so-”
“Pretty?”
“Beautiful.”
The way her face lit up when she smiled was absolutely enchanting. She didn’t know it, but she had you wrapped around her finger, you were starting to think you’d do anything for this girl. No, you already knew it, you would do anything for this girl. Your heart rate whenever she smiled was all the confirmation you needed.
“Your sundae, enjoy!” a cheery staff member dropped off the bowl of ice cream at your table. “Let me know if you need anything else!”
“Thank you,” Kazuha smiled respectfully at the young girl before turning back to you. “It looks good.”
“Then let’s find out if it’s as good as it looks.”
Kazuha picked up her spoon, scooping up some of the cookie crumbles and fudge ice cream onto it before holding it out for you. Taking her lead, you opened your mouth and let her feed you.
“Wow,” you mumbled as the taste hit your tongue. “That is seriously way better than I expected.”
“Is it?” Kazuha looked at you with glee.
“Yeah, here,” you picked up your spoon and returned the favor, feeding Kazuha the ice cream. Her eyes lit up immediately - she was so unbelievably cute. “Right?”
“You weren’t kidding, that’s amazing,” Kazuha gushed, going for another bite.
Something you noticed, and loved, about Kazuha was that she wasn’t afraid to eat. Even though she was exceptionally feminine and graceful, she wasn’t shy when it came to food. It was adorable, especially with how expressive she would be when the food was good. Within just a minute, full of spoon hitting glass, the bowl of ice cream the two of you were sharing was practically emptied.
“So, Zuha, you never actually told me, what’s your major?” you asked as you put down your spoon. “I just realized I never asked what you wanted to do after school.”
“I’d love to one day teach ballet, and my major is biology,” she answered, scooping out pieces of cookies from the bottom of the bowl before looking up at you and laughing. “You look shocked.”
“Sorry, it’s a lovely dream, I just wasn’t expecting it,” you chuckled. “So I guess the next natural question would be why the hell did you pick biology if you want to teach ballet?”
“Well, I’ve been training ballet my whole life,” Kazuha explained. “And I wanted to do something interesting and challenging on top of that, so I found myself in biochemical sciences.”
That would explain why she was so graceful, you thought to yourself. “That’s awesome, and quite admirable.”
“Thank you. It can be pretty tough managing all of that while still trying to keep some semblance of a social life.”
“You seem to be doing alright,” you replied with a smile. “Especially if you found time to go on a date with me.”
“I make time for things I want to do,” Kazuha smiled back, making your cheeks warm. “What, no cheeky response this time?”
“Sorry, sometimes it’s just so hard to focus on anything other than your smile.”
“There it is,” Kazuha laughed while rolling her eyes.
“Hey, I know it’s getting kinda late, but would you want-”
“I’d love to come over for a bit,” Kazuha cut you off, smiling brighter than ever.
“How could you possibly forget sugar?” you burst out laughing. “They’re cookies, that’s like, the most basic part.”
“That was Chaewon’s responsibility, not mine!” Kazuha defended herself. “Anyway, we tried making them without it.”
“You tried making cookies without sugar?” you laughed even harder. “I gotta know, how’d they turn out?”
“I don’t know, we ended up burning them,” Kazuha joined you in laughter. “I’ll have to make them for you some day.”
“After hearing about your baking skills, I think I’m alright,” you teased, picking up your glass of champagne and taking another sip. “I don’t think I’ll be buying your cookbook.”
“You sure?” Kazuha took a big sip before putting her own glass down. “I’ll even sign it for you,” she added, leaning closer to you.
“Depends what you sign it as,” you replied, putting your glass down as well, opening your arms for Kazuha to snuggle up with you.
“And what would you want me to sign it as?” she asked, her face right in front of yours.
“My girlfriend?”
“I thought we agreed it’s too early,” she whispered, moving her lips even closer to yours. “That one day wasn’t enough time?”
“It’s past midnight already,” you whispered into her mouth before leaning forward and closing the gap slightly.
“Have we really been talking for that long?” she whispered back, closing it some more.
And just like that, you found your lips softly brushing again Kazuha’s once more. The kiss was soft; Kazuha’s pretty eyes fluttered shut as she leaned into it, sweet and tender. The room went silent, completely still, as the air was filled with the lingering sounds of your lips colliding. A tender echo, her sweet breaths reverberating in your ears, perfectly describing the gentle and warm feeling you had coursing through your body as you kissed Kazuha. Delicate and calm, you got lost in her touch.
She brought her hands up to your cheeks, cupping your face lightly, leaning into you. Meanwhile, your hand explored her body, rubbing against her core, feeling through her top how toned she was. Your hand slowly slid lower until it was resting against the side of her thigh, slipping just a bit underneath her skirt.
Kazuha pulled back slightly, her eyes meeting yours, a hint of hesitation showing. “I’m not ready to go all the way,” she whispered softly.
“I’m in no rush,” you whispered back, pressing your lips forward again.
Her eyes shot wide open for a moment before she slowly closed them again, relief calming her down as she began gently prodding her tongue against yours. Then, to your surprise, she grabbed your wrist and gently guided it along her leg until your palm was resting against her soft ass before she brought her hand back up to the back of your neck, her fingers lightly grabbing your hair.
Following her lead, you gave her ass a gentle squeeze, making sure not to push past her boundaries. The way she kissed you, the increase in passion, was confirmation that she was okay with it. Her body was perfect, you got lost in the warmth of her skin, your fingers brushing just slightly against the fabric of her underwear by mistake.
Yet, she didn’t pull back at all. She didn’t seem to mind, at least that’s what her kiss was telling you. Kazuha was getting more and more aggressive with it, and soon enough you found yourself falling onto your back with Kazuha on top of you. Her hands which were previously squeezing your hair, returned to your face, cupping your cheeks again as her tongue pushed audaciously into your mouth.
Her passion was met with your own as you brought your other hand around her body, holding her perfectly sculpted ass in your palms. You gave her a few soft squeezes, addicted to her body, at this point your palms were placed directly on her ass, your fingers gently kneading her softness. Caution was slowly dissipating as you got more comfortable with each other’s bodies.
The moment felt like it was stretching, enveloping you in excitement, a sign of hopefully some future with the girl you were holding onto. However, even though you could have kept going all night, you could feel the natural end coming. With her cheeks flushed red, and a soft smile on her lips, Kazuha pulled back, breathing deeply above you.
“I could really get used to this,” she smiled warmly down at you.
“I’m definitely not going to stop you,” you smiled back before pulling her into your embrace, gently rubbing her back as you took in the lovely scent of her shampoo. “Zuha, it’s getting kinda late.”
“Are you kicking me out?” Kazuha giggled as she started to get off you.
Without hesitation, you pulled her back in even tighter. “Absolutely not,” you clarified, giving the top of her head a little peck. “I was just going to ask if you have class tomorrow morning.”
“I do,” Kazuha sighed heavily. “But it’s fine, I’ll skip it.”
“I can’t in good conscience be responsible for that,” you replied when Kazuha’s phone began ringing. “You going to skip that, too?”
“I probably shouldn’t,” Kazuha groaned as she leaned over towards the table, nearly falling off the couch if it wasn’t for you catching her. “Thanks,” she giggled before answering. “Hello? No, I'm not still out. No, I'm not drunk. Yes Chaewon-ah, I’m safe. Are you done? Oh my God, bye.”
“Cookie girl?” you teased as Kazuha sat up and began stretching.
“Yeah,” she yawned, arms straight up, her top riding up just enough for you to see her perfectly sculpted abs. “I had a lot of fun today,” she smiled warmly, her eyes twinkling as she let her arms fall to her side, shoulders slumped.
“I did too,” you smiled back, sitting up as well to give her another quick kiss. “Want me to walk you back to your room?”
“Actually,” Kazuha bit her lip nervously. “I kinda promised Chaewon that I wouldn’t drink tonight, I don’t really want her to know.”
“Zuha, you should have told me. We didn’t have to finish that bottle.”
“No no, I wanted to drink with you… I guess I felt safe with you,” she replied softly. “But now I have to ask, do you mind if I spend the night? I really don’t want to get scolded by her.”
“Uh, sure, but don’t you think she’ll be more concerned if you spend the night?”
“Nah, she’s going to have to get used to it anyway,” Kazuha replied casually while standing up and holding her hand out for you. “I’m going to be spending the night in my boyfriend’s room from time to time.”
“Boyfriend?” you stood up and grabbed her hand excitedly. “Does that mean…”
“Yes,” Kazuha silenced you with another kiss. “Boyfriend. Fuck timelines, I’m ready if you are.”
If only she could feel your heart pounding out of your chest. “Definitely,” you smiled back, giving her hand a squeeze.
“I’m pretty impressed that you have all this makeup remover stuff,” Kazuha commented as she walked out of your bathroom. “You have girls over often or something?”
“Umm.”
“Oh, I completely forgot about…” Kazuha’s cheeks turned bright red. “Sorry, ignore that.”
“Her name is Sana, but no,” you answered honestly, ignoring her embarrassment. “That stuff is from when I was with my ex. She was the last girl I let in my room.”
“I see, well, it’s very convenient regardless,” Kazuha replied as she looked around your room.
“You’re more than welcome to borrow whatever clothes you’d like by the way, I assume you’re not sleeping in that,” you added as you took off your shirt and pants before getting into your bed, admiring how incredibly stunning Kazuha looked even without makeup - this girl was unreal.
“It’s fine,” a shy smile formed on Kazuha’s lips before she turned around and began stripping down to her underwear as well. “You don’t mind, right?”
“By all means, whatever you’re most comfortable with.”
“I’m going to turn the lights off before I get in, alright?”
“Sure,” you replied casually while plugging your phone into your charger. “Just be careful, don’t trip on anything.”
“I will,” Kazuha responded as she shut off the lights. In the darkness, Kazuha took a second before slipping into the bed next to you, her beautiful face barely visible under the faint moonlight shining through your window. “Can I ask you another question?”
“You can always ask me a question.”
“How’d you like feeling my body earlier while we kissed?”
“Ah, what a question,” you chuckled. “Your body is fucking amazing Zuha, I can tell you work out a lot.”
“Oh yeah? How’s that?” Kazuha asked, her voice littered with allure in the most teasing way possible.
“Your abs, they’re rock solid.”
“Let’s play a little game, how about you try finding my abs in the dark?” Kazuha teased, giggling softly.
“Sounds fun,” you smirked, reaching your hand across the bed. You fumbled around for a second until your hand made contact with skin, soft skin. It took you a moment before you realized what you were holding. “Yup, that’s a titty, and you aren’t wearing a bra.”
“You’re right,” she giggled, grabbing your wrist and sliding it down until your hand was rubbing against her core. “And these are my abs.”
“Damn, they’re so nice,” you moaned softly. “We should workout together, you could train me.”
“Sure,” Kazuha whispered before sliding your wrist even lower. “And how does this feel?”
“Zuha,” you gasped as she placed your hand between her legs, and sure enough, she wasn’t wearing anything. “What happened to not being ready tonight?”
“This is different,” she whispered. “I’ve already sucked your cock in a bathroom, this is pretty harmless if you ask me.”
“Yeah, but-”
“If you’re not comfortable, I won’t be offended if you pull away.”
Yeah, there was no chance you were doing that.
“You’re sure about this?” you asked carefully as you began rubbing between her legs softly, feeling how wet she was.
“Absolutely,” she muttered, sliding closer to you.
“Then I want this to be perfect,” you whispered back, sliding your other hand under her body and wrapping it around her, placing it on her chest, giving her tit a soft squeeze. “Tell me what feels good.”
“What you’re doing now is nice,” she moaned as you rubbed slow and steady circles against her clit.
“Good,” you breathed before leaning forward and finding her lips.
As you began kissing her, you started moving your fingers a bit faster, sliding down her slit every few circles, teasing her entrance with the tip of your finger. You used her moans as your guidance, feeling for when you hit the right spots, hyperfocusing on what made Kazuha feel good. Once you began finding a rhythm, figuring her out, you started speeding up some more.
“Fuck that’s nice,” she moaned, separating her lips from yours, breathing into your mouth heavily.
With that moment of opportunity, you shoved your mouth into her neck and began kissing her collarbone. At the same time, you pinched her nipple softly with one hand and eased one finger into her pussy, just up until the first knuckle.
“Oh fuck,” she gasped, grabbing the back of your head with her hand and latching onto your hair. “Go deeper.”
And that was exactly what you did, pushing your finger deeper while using your thumb to rub her clit. You also took the opportunity to move lower down her body, leaving her neck and putting your mouth on her nipple, sucking it taut. With your mouth on one nipple and your finger lightly pinching the other, you found something was working because Kazuha’s whole body was moving up and down with her moans at this point.
Your fingers worked nonstop, gently fucking her pussy, daring to go deeper with each thrust. It was a balancing act of making her feel good and making sure you don’t go too hard, a balancing act that you were succeeding in, clearly. But you wanted more.
“Zuha,” you pulled back, looking up at her. “Can I go down on you?”
Even in the darkness, you could see her bite her lower lip nervously. “Maybe just… just fingers tonight… if that’s okay,” she mumbled quietly.
“No problem,” you whispered back before leaning forward and kissing her again.
She was hesitant for just a second before she got back into it, that burning passion returning with a vengeance. As you kissed her, you went back to slipping your finger into her soft pussy. She was warm, and incredibly wet, a soft wet squishing sound filled the room, mixed with the sound of your kiss, as you pushed your finger in and out of her.
With your tongue down her mouth and one hand gently massaging her tit, it really didn’t take much longer for you to start feeling Kazuha’s insides squeezing against your finger. In rhythmic beauty, she began moaning into your mouth, gasping and panting as her pussy pressed down hard. You slipped your finger out and began rubbing soft circles around her clit, making sure not to press too hard.
Kazuha rode her orgasm out for as long as she could, making sure to never separate her lips from yours. It wasn’t until her body finally relaxed did she stop kissing you. “I can’t believe how comfortable I feel around you,” Kazuha mumbled, rubbing wrapping her hands around your body gently. “To think, I only met you because of that stupid punishment.”
“You’re telling me,” you gave her a small squeeze. “I can’t believe how quickly things are moving.”
“Yeah,” Kazuha sighed. “I guess I set the tempo kinda fast this morning.”
“Zuha,” you paused to give her cheek a kiss. “We agreed to forget about that silliness, it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“I know, but I can’t exactly forget what I did,” Kazuha laughed softly. “Seriously I promise I’m not that type of girl.”
“Zuha-”
“Like, I know it kinda seems like it with what happened this morning and the fact that I’m literally laying in your bed naked, but I swear-”
“Zuha!” you interrupted her. “It’s fine, seriously, I wouldn’t have asked you to be my girlfriend if I didn’t really like you. So what if things are moving fast, who cares?”
“I guess you’re right.”
“Let’s just let things happen, do what feels right,” you added, playing with the muscles on her back. “Whatever feels natural, I’m here with you and committed to making this work.”
“Then how about you let me take care of you?” Kazuha giggled softly.
“What?”
“You realize I can feel everything in this position, right?”
“Alright well with how fucking hot you are, there’s not a straight man on this planet who wouldn’t be, not in this position.”
“I’m not blaming you,” Kazuha whispered, leaning back so that she was face to face with you. She slowly snaked her hand down your body, softly rubbing your shaft through your underwear. “It would be pretty cruel of me if I didn’t, not after what you just did for me.”
“I’m happy just holding you, there’s no pressure for you to do anything tonight,” you replied, your breath hitching as Kazuha slipped her delicate fingers down your waistband. “Really, Zuha, if you’re tired it’s totally fine.”
“Let’s be real with ourselves,” Kazuha leaned forward and kissed you before smiling softly at you. “Neither of us are sleeping much tonight.”
“Is that so?” you moaned as she took a gentle grip on your shaft.
“That’s right,” she whispered before pushing you onto your back. Then, inch by inch, she planted kisses down your body. She started at your neck, moving lower, kissing your chest tenderly, all the while still stroking your cock. As she moved lower down your body, she started stroking faster and faster, pausing only to yank your underwear down. “Did I ever tell you why my punishment involved sucking someone off?”
“No,” you flinched as Kazuha let a glob of her warm spit fall onto your cock.
“Because I love sucking cock,” she answered in a whisper.
Before you could respond, Kazuha engulfed your cock in her mouth, making a firm seal around your tip with her lips, prodding softly at your hole with her tongue. Then, she lowered her mouth, swallowing your whole cock in one swift motion before slowly - agonizingly slowly - pulling back up to your tip. After that, she repeated the motion a few more times, plunging down your cock and slowly withdrawing. Any degree of awkwardness from the first time had been replaced with familiarity now as Kazuha worked your cock like an expert.
“Fuck me, Zuha, that feels so fucking good,” you heaved, trying to catch your breath.
“Yeah?” she replied, her voice soft as sugar, before she leaned in and started kissing your balls.
“Yeah, the only shame is not being able to see that beautiful face.”
“Then turn the lamp on,” Kazuha cooed, tossing your blanket to the side and climbing over you, positioning herself between your legs before putting your cock back into her mouth.
As per her suggestion, you leaned over and turned on a small lamp you kept on your side table. With that, you felt your cock ready to completely erupt as you took a look at Kazuha who was staring up at you. Her eyes were so fucking beautiful. You couldn’t hold back, not with how good she looked right now with her cheeks hollowed, moving steadily up and down your shaft.
“Zuha, you’re going to make me cum,” you mumbled, straining and squirming your whole body as you desperately tried to hold back. “I can’t…”
She wasn’t phased at all, she just kept on sucking your cock at the same excruciatingly slow pace. The next who-knows-how-many seconds went by in a flash, instantly yet somehow lasting forever at the same time. She never once broke eye contact, and her mouth never once changed tempo, all that changed was how much pressure she applied with her lips, expertly varying it to make your cock feel that much better.
It wasn’t until the first burst of your cum flew into her mouth, hitting the back of her throat, did she finally stop moving. As your cum began volleying into her mouth, she held her lips tight around your cock, making sure not a single drop leaked through the smirk that formed on her face. Her eyes, those beautiful eyes, were fading into adorable little crescents as she proudly accepted all of your cum into her mouth.
“Holy fuck,” you cried out, your cock still pumping away.
Kazuha waited until the impulses slowed down, she let you slowly regain strength, but then as she felt your body relaxing, she started bobbing her head up and down your cock again as fast as she could.
“Please,” you moaned as your cock went into a frenzy, the final few shots of cum flying into Kazuha’s mouth. “Holy fuck!”
Once you were finally done, Kazuha slowly pulled back, letting a fountain of your white cum spill down your shaft as she lifted her lips off, tilting her back before swallowing everything in her mouth.
“I thought there was a lot last time,” Kazuha giggled, unable to contain her proud smile as she grinned from ear to ear. “But there’s so much more this time.”
“Zuha that was so fucking good, look,” you opened your eyes wide. “I’m literally in tears.”
“Good,” she smirked before leaning forward and using her tongue to scoop your cum off your shaft into her mouth. “I’ll do this for you whenever you want. Every night if you want.”
“I would literally die,” you inhaled sharply as her tongue grazed against your tip. “I wouldn’t be able to think about anything else all day.”
“Did you really like it that much?” she asked while licking nearing your shaft, looking for more spilled cum.
“Zuha,” you sat up and grabbed her by the arms. “Yes, I don’t know how to convince you.”
She looked deep into your eyes, her beautiful round eyes shimmering in the dim light of your room. Those beautiful features, the perfect face, sporting a soft expression as she stared at you. “I believe you,” she whispered before closing her eyes and tilting her head.
Without hesitation, you met her movement and pressed your lips firmly against hers, bringing your hands around her body and feeling her back. Her skin was so soft, you wanted to touch and feel her body forever. Unfortunately for you, the kiss did not last forever, and eventually you had to let go of her.
“I know we agreed not to talk about exes, but can I tell you something?” Zuha asked as she snuggled up in your arms.
“What’s up?”
“He’d never kiss me after I-”
Before replying, you pushed her chin up with a finger and kissed her mouth again. “Sounds like an idiot, no offense,” you replied casually. “I’ll never understand that. If I’m willing to suck on a girl’s vagina, I feel like kissing after head is really not a big deal.”
“I’ve never actually had anyone…” her voice trailed off.
“Zuha,” you let go of her and sat up, looking down at her. “Is that why you didn’t let me go down on you earlier?”
Her cheeks turned red as she avoided your gaze for a moment before she looked back up at you and nodded slowly. You bent forward and kissed her again, repeatedly, on the lips for about a minute before sitting up again.
“It’s entirely your choice, I’d never make you do something that you’re not comfortable with,” you began softly while rubbing her thigh. “But I want you to know, I’d love nothing more than to make you feel good.”
“I just can’t help but feel a bit embarrassed,” Kazuha admitted quietly. “It’s not that I’m not comfortable with you, because I am, I just don’t know…”
“I never want you to feel embarrassed around me,” you spoke softly as you moved down the bed and began slowly spreading her legs. “Do I have your permission?”
She hesitated again, as if fighting an internal battle, but then she nodded, her eyes shimmering as the early signs of dawn crept through your window.
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure,” she whispered back, adjusting herself to get more comfortable.
“Then just relax,” you instructed her softly before pressing your lips below her navel and leaving a long, very drawn out kiss on her skin. Then, as you slid a bit lower, you paused to reach up and grab Kazuha’s hands. She took your lead, interlocking her fingers with yours and taking a deep breath. “You’re so incredibly breathtaking, just tell me what feels good,” you murmured, letting the breath of your words hit her pussy.
Your mouth began drooling at this point, overwhelmed by how enticing Kazuha’s pussy looked right now as the sun crept through the window some more, making her body glisten beautifully. It was enchanting. You pressed your lips to her pussy, holding steady as Kazuha took a deep breath, letting her get truly comfortable with your touch before giving her pussy a tender kiss.
“You alright?”
“Mhmm,” Kazuha breathed, giving your fingers a little squeeze, encouraging you to keep going.
Even that small taste of her body had you desperate for more. You wanted nothing more than to shove your face as deep into her pussy as physically possible, to suck and lick her until the sun went down again. But this was less for you, and more for Kazuha, so you took it slow.
With your mouth opened wide, you carefully pressed down on her pussy, creating a seal with your lips and her skin. She squeezed your hand again as you stuck out your tongue and pressed it flat against her folds. You began pressing down, applying pressure with various parts of your tongue, truly relishing in the slight tang of Kazuha’s pussy. She tasted so addicting despite it being so subtle.
And just like that, you were addicted and completely consumed by Kazuha’s taste. Paired with the sounds of Kazuha moaning as you applied more pressure with your tongue and lips, you were in heaven. You moved around, exploring Kazuha’s body to your heart’s desire, pausing occasionally to give her inner thighs kisses before latching back onto her pussy.
The more you feasted, the more she gave. Your lower face was completely drenched in Kazuha’s wetness as she leaked all over you. It wasn’t possible to lap it all up, despite how hard you tried, but you tried nonetheless. As her pussy, wet and warm, responded to your touch, her moans became even more vocal. She was definitely trying to stay quiet to the best of her ability, but she was failing as she got closer.
Especially now, as you could feel her body trembling slightly, each lick made her body jolt. Each kiss sent her into a frenzy. Her moans crescendoed as you sped up, sucking and licking her pussy with all of your power, and her thighs began pressing against the sides of your head and her fingers threatened to crush yours.
Then, with a particularly hefty gush of pleasure jetting out of her pussy, Kazuha began crying out in pleasure, her body convulsing in your mouth. “Oh fuck,” she sobbed, digging her nails into the back of your hands. “That feels so good.”
All you wanted to do was make her feel good - nothing brought you more pleasure. You held yourself in place between Kazuha’s legs, not that you could move even if you wanted to thanks to how hard her legs were clamping down on your face, and you gently teased her pussy with your tongue, giving it a few flicks before planting a very soft kiss on her clit, sucking on it tenderly.
“Stop, stop, stop!” Kazuha moaned, letting go of your hand and pushing your face away, detaching your mouth from her sensitive clit. “It’s too much.”
As soon as she pushed your head away, you dove back in and started kissing her thighs, switching back and forth between them. You knew her pussy was far too sensitive right now, the most you did was let your breath hit her skin, even that earned a full-body shudder. You gave her a final kiss on each thigh before crawling back up the bed next to Kazuha.
She turned to face you, and without saying a word, she lunged for your mouth, kissing you passionately and deeply - harder than ever. You let her take control, she got to guide the kiss, regulate the passion to her desires. Kazuha went on for a bit, even wrapping her leg around your body, rubbing her warmth against you until she was finally satisfied. She backed up, looking you straight in the eyes, the most precious girl you have ever seen in your life.
“That was amazing,” she muttered quietly, unable to contain her smile.
“You’re amazing,” you replied, giving her butt a small pat before glancing at your window. “The sun’s up.”
“I’m not sleepy.”
“Me neither,” you smiled back, giving her another kiss. “So, what should we do?”
“Do you have class?” she asked.
“I’ll skip it if you skip yours.”
“I’m definitely skipping,” Kazuha giggled.
“Then I guess I don’t have class.”
“Perfect,” she turned around and snuggled her body into yours.
Within just a minute of being in your arms, the ‘not sleepy’ girl passed out, pushing against your body with each deep breath she took. You gave her one last gentle kiss on the top of her head before closing your eyes, unable to wipe the smile off your face.
---
A/N:
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS. I've been wanting to write this for so long and I finally decided to sit down and get to it. Words really cannot explain how into Kazuha I am at the moment, but hopefully this fic at least shed some light on my recent addiction over her.
I don't know what to work on next. The next Dating Seraphs chapter is going to be kinda Kazuha heavy, so I kinda don't want to post that right after this. I think this fic is the first time I've blatantly teased some of the other idols who will be appearing in Roommates, I hope that's exciting for some of you!
Maybe I'll try releasing something else around the New Years, we'll see. I'd love to hear what you guys think about this fic though, I can't rememember the last time I wrote this much straight up one-on-one fluff in a fic. There's going to be a third part to this mini series, and I promise you that one will have some sex scenes!
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sturnioloszn · 4 months ago
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JEALOUS - C.S
summary; while your boyfriend is streaming, one specific girl keeps gifting, and you begin to feel jealous of all the attention she's receiving, so chris comes to show you some attention too...
warnings; smut, unprotected sex (wrap the willy), tit sucking, dirty talk, teasing, praising, leaving hickeys, spanking, i think that's it..?
a/n; i have more ideas for fics, but please feel free to leave suggestions/recommendations on what fics u want to see and ill provide like a fairy godmother (unless it's some crazy shit like a shit kink, get out).
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It was currently 1am, and my boyfriend and I were cuddled up in his bed watching our favourite series. I loved nights where I was able to just lay in bed with Chris and relax, especially with the chaotic lives we both live.
However, this didn't last long.
"Yo, wanna stream late night fort duos?" Matt questions, walking into the room. Chris looks down at my face, which is currently resting on his chest.
"Would you mind if I streamed with Matt for a few hours, baby?" He asks. There's a look of hope in his eyes, and who am I to deny him having fun with his brother.
"Of course not, you don't have to ask me," I reply, giving a small smile. I love cuddling with Chris, but I don't mind letting him play fortnite with his brother. He'll probably hop off in a few hours and come back to bed anyway.
As he slowly stands up from his bed, he gives me a small thanks before moving to his desk. I watched him attentively as he placed his headphones on his fluffy hair and turned on his monitor, which illuminated a soft blue light onto his face.
I could watch him all day and night. He was the most beautiful man I've ever seen. The way his hair was slightly damp, from coming out the shower not long ago, and the way his facial hair looks without a few days of shaving. God, he was perfect.
"Hellooo people," he says, adjusting his mic. I didn't even realise that he had started the stream already.
I grabbed my phone from the nightstand so I could distract myself from all the screaming and shouting that was bound to happen.
~
It had been roughly an hour and a half since the stream first started, and Chris and Matt were still playing reload, and I was still scrolling on tiktok.
"HOLY SHIT, AVA WITH THE 100 BOMB!" Chris yells, making me turn my head to look at him. I loved how grateful Chris always is, whether people gift 1 or 100, Chris was always so thankful. I really did get lucky with him.
A few moments later Chris shrieks, "No fuckin' way, another 50 subs from Ava,". I turn to look at him again and he has the widest grin on his mouth.
"Everyone spam 'w Ava' in the chat," He says, focusing back in on his game.
I honestly don't know how some people are able to gift so much. I've seen the price of subs, and they are priceyyy. Yet, some people gift hundreds and hundreds.
"AVA WITH ANOTHER 50, HOLY SHIT, YOU'RE THE GOAT AVA," He yells again, shuffling in his chair.
What the fuck? This girl dropped a bag on subs in 5 minutes.
This continues for another half an hour, and to be honest, I'm getting sick of it. Don't get me wrong, I love that they're getting subs but it's the same fucking girl. Can she give it a rest? She's been spamming them with subs, and Chris is not letting it go unnoticed to anyone.
I look over to Chris, and he's smiling wider than ever. He must realise I'm staring at him, so he turns to look at me back.
As soon as we make eye contact, I shuffle on the bed and turn my back to him. From the corner of my eye, I can see his smile fade, and he turns back to his game.
I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I'm not upset about the subs. Is it jealousy? Am I feeling jealous of all the attention Chris is giving this random girl? I guess I am. It's hard not to when he left cuddling you to praise some random girl on the internet.
"Matt, I'm lowkey getting tired. After this round, I'm gonna hop off," Chris says, and through my peripheral vision, I can see him look at me.
He's lying. He's not tired at all, it's only 3am. He can sense something is wrong with me, and that's why he's hopping off the game.
But, as he said, he finished up the round and ended stream.
"Babe, what's wrong?" He asks, standing up from the chair and making his way over to me on the bed. I pretend not to hear him and shuffle slightly further away from him. He notices my actions and repeats his question.
"Why are you in a mood? Is it cause I streamed with Matt?" He continues to ask questions, but I continue to ignore him. I don't know why I'm doing this. Maybe I just want him to pay attention to me, too.
He realises the game I'm playing and decides to change the rules.
He leans down and begins to place soft kisses on my neck. I'm fighting to not close my eyes and keep looking at my screen, but the feeling is consuming me, and I let my eyes flutter close.
"Why are you ignoring me, baby? What can I do to hear your pretty voice, hm?" He says between kisses. Fuck, he knew exactly what he was doing.
He then grabs my phone out of my hand and throws it somewhere on the bed. He forcefully turns me to lay on my back and places himself between my legs, bringing his face up to mine.
"Are you gonna tell me what's wrong, or do you want to keep playing the silent game?" He challenges. I'm looking into his dark and tired eyes, enough to get lost in them.
"It's not fair," I mutter under my breath, but loud enough for him to hear.
"What's not fair, my love?" He asks, rewarding me with another kiss on my neck for answering him.
"All the attention you were showing that stupid girl," I say. My panties are already soaked by the few simple kisses that he had given me. If he continues like this, I'll have to wring out my thong.
A smirk subtly grows on his lips, and he dips his head back down to my neck for another reward. "Are you jealous, baby?" He whispers against my skin.
Fuck. He was driving me insane.
"Yeah, so what?" I ask, challenging him back. I then feel his lips attach to my neck. I gasp softly when he begins to lightly suck on my sweet spot.
"I'm so sorry baby, let me show you the attention you deserve," he says, moving back up to my face. His soft lips crash into mine, and his hands explore my body. My body feels like it's on fire, and I'm craving him more than ever.
"Chris, please," I beg. I'm begging him for something more, I need more.
"I know, baby," he coos. He then brings his hands to the hem of my shirt and lifts it over my head when he sees my nod of approval. He instantly wraps his warm mouth around my nipple and I shudder at the new sensation. He lifts his hand to my other nipple and begins to roll it between his fingertips.
By now, soft moans are escaping my mouth from the stimulation, but I'm still hungry for more. I buck my hips at him to indicate what I really want. He notices my desperate actions and separates himself from my chest.
He hooks his fingers over the band of my sweatpants and yanks them down, revealing my soaked thong.
"Fuck, look at you," He rasps, admiring the patch of wetness that seeped through my underwear. I whine at his comment, I need him so bad. He then peels his own clothes off, leaving himself in just his boxers.
As he pulls his last item of clothing off, his swollen cock sprung out. I sigh at the sight in front of me. I'll never get over this view.
"Be a good girl and get on your hands and knees," he says stroking his cock a few times and rubbing his pre-cum all over his head.
I swiftly move into the position he ordered, and I feel his hand on my lowerback, pushing me into a deeper arch. At this point, my ass is completely in the air, and I'm ready for him to use me.
I feel him pull my thong to the side, letting the cold air in the room hit my warm and wet pussy. With no hesitation, he slides his cock into me with ease, filling me up. We both moan at the contact.
He instantly starts ramming into me, showing no mercy whatsoever. My arms give out immediately, and my face is smushed into a pillow.
"Isn't this what you wanted? My attention," He grunts out from behind me, placing a firm slap on my right ass cheek. I let out a strangled moan, allowing myself to grip the bedsheets.
"Answer you attention whore," he repeats, placing another slap on my ass.
"Y-yes, fuck!" I yelp. He continues to ruthlessly fuck my pussy and I feel the heat in my lower stomach build. I was coming close to finishing. Between the dirty talk, the spanks, and of course the fucking, I wasn't going to last long at all.
"C-chris m'gonna...f-finish," I stutter out. My knuckles are turning white from how intensely I'm gripping the sheets.
"Yeah? Come on my cock like the good girl you are," he groans, placing another spank on my cheek. I bet that by now, my ass is glowing red.
His words push me over the edge, and I violently shake beneath him, allowing a flow of curse words to leave my mouth as he helps me ride out my high and bring himself to his own.
"Fuck. Your such a jealous whore and look how I have you, you think I'm fuckin' other girls like this? Hm?" He asks, pounding into me even harder. I'm starting to become oversensitive, but I know he's about to come any second.
I feel his hands grip my hips hard enough to leave bruises and his warm cum coats my insides. His movements begin to slow, and I let out a satisfied sigh. I feel him pull his limp cock out of my full pussy and he moves to lay beside me.
I crumble next to him and place my head on his chest. Our sweaty bodies are still for a moment as we attempt to catch our breath after the best cardio session ever.
"Jealousy cured?" He smiles, looking down at me.
"Definitely. I'm sorry for being a bitch earlier," I apoligise, giving a sincere smile. Before he can reply, his phone buzzes.
"Who the fuck is texting at almost 4am?" He questions, as he unlocks his phone. He opens his texts and sees a message from Matt:
'Tired my ass, u guys are disgusting'
He pans his phone over to me, and we both die from laughter. The rest of the night is spent cuddling and watching tv together, just the way I love it.
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a/n; this is long as shitttt. anywhoo, thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed another one of my 4am creations. love youu <33.
2K notes · View notes
cherienymphe · 7 months ago
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White Lines & White Knights
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Rafe Cameron x Reader
Warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, pr*stitution, power imbalance, classism, mentions of death, jealousy, humiliation, revenge p*rn, drug dealer!Rafe, drug use, Pogue!reader
➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | ➥ divider by @firefly-graphics
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summary: You and Rafe are using each other until you decide that's not what you want anymore, and the spoiled rich kid will do whatever it takes to have his expensive toy back in his bed.
Your door shut behind you with a resounding click, and once in the comfort of your home, you took the time to decompress. You took advantage of your much needed reprieve, the back of your head grazing the wood as you allowed your eyes to fall closed. Your heart was still beating wildly in your chest, and you wondered if a day would come where it ever wouldn’t. After all, this wasn’t exactly “new” anymore…
It had been five months since you buried your mom, five months since you discovered the mountain of debt she’d done an impressive job of hiding from you, and five months since you thought you’d be homeless on the street in less than one. In two weeks, you’d dealt with a loss you didn’t think you’d have to for at least another forty years or so and took on the kind of responsibility you didn’t think you’d have to for at least another three.
Your mom died 152 days ago…
…and you’d started fucking Rafe Cameron less than a month later.
You liked to pretend to not know why you slept with Kildare’s prime rich boy that fateful Saturday night, but you were far more self aware than you wanted to be. Even if you weren’t, it wasn’t exactly some mysterious string of decisions that lead to being tangled up in the sheets with Sarah’s asshole of an older brother. You didn’t need to pay someone to diagnose you.
You were grieving.
It was really just that simple, and the monetary stress on top of that drove you to find comfort in strange drinks and hard drugs. To this day you still didn’t know if Rafe just happened to be at the right place at the right time or if he heard whispers about John B.’s best friend snorting pills and getting shit faced when her usual crowd was looking the other way, but either way, the stuffy Kook clearly saw an opportunity to kill several birds with one stone.
“First two lines are free,” he’d told you that night, the bass of the music downstairs muffled by the expensive walls of some girl’s house.
You remembered how you’d chuckled, drunkenly shaking your head.
“Well, two lines is all I’m doing, I guess,” you’d murmured, throwing your hands up.
Rafe’s smirk had been cruel, a mocking glint in his blue eyes.
“What?” he’d dragged out, head tilted. “Spent all that life insurance money, already?”
Any other time and Rafe’s insensitivity might’ve upset you, but at the time you’d been drunk out of your mind and looking for more ways to forget the sudden absence in your life.
“I can’t imagine why Sarah hates you,” you’d sarcastically replied, approaching the impressive desk and leaning over to inhale a line.
You wiped your nose as you straightened, lashes fluttering as you ignored the feeling of Rafe’s gaze on you.
“I’ll be lucky if I even have a house to live in next week.”
The words had come out slurred, accompanied by a light chuckle, and deep down you’d felt the flutter of stress that you’d been desperately ignoring for weeks. You’d quickly snorted the other line, closing your eyes for a moment.
“Turns out my mom was skilled at hiding more than just illnesses…”
You remembered the silence—from both you and Rafe—and how in that moment you’d allowed yourself a solid four seconds of lingering on the reality of your predicament. In those four seconds, your eyes had watered and your lips had trembled and your throat had tightened, and after those four seconds, you were turning to Rafe with a haughty smile.
“Guess you won’t be finding a new client in me, huh?” you’d wondered with a shrug, finding a seat on the desk.
Rafe’s blue gaze had been unreadable as he eyed you, sitting in the chair at the desk, legs spread as he ran his eyes over you—slowly and in a way you didn’t hate at the time. You hadn’t been able to tell what he was thinking, although looking back, you wondered how it wasn’t so obvious to you then. Maybe because it was just too cruel of a thought, and while it was no secret Rafe was a spoiled asshole, you had never once thought of him as cruel.
Rafe had merely shrugged.
“There’s plenty of fish in the sea,” he’d slowly said, the corner of his pink lips curving upwards just a tad. “Besides…”
You’d watched him stand, rounding the desk to come and tower over you where you sat.
“I like to think of myself as a pretty ethical kind of guy…”
You’d started to snort at that before his gaze met yours again, and you found yourself swallowing whatever you were about to say. You hadn’t done a thing when Rafe reached up to touch your arm, the feel of his finger so light. You hadn’t wanted to acknowledge the way your heart skipped a beat at both his close proximity and the change in atmosphere. You hadn’t been able to ignore—however—the heat that settled in the pit of your stomach.
“...and I’ve been known to meet people halfway. Accept whatever they can offer…”
You remembered your internal conflict that night.
You’d been drunk and high and sad…not stupid. You knew exactly what Rafe was insinuating to you, and you’d struggled with the idea of really sleeping with Rafe Cameron for more drugs. The man was far from unattractive, sure that if drugs weren’t involved you’d still consider sleeping with him. If you’d believed in any of that, you’d imagine that your mom was turning over in her grave. At the time though, you hadn’t been quite sure as to what you believed in, so when he took your silence for consent, leaning in and touching your nose with his…
You hadn’t stopped him when he closed the distance.
You hadn’t even known whose house you were at, only internally apologizing to them for having sex on their expensive desk. You didn’t know if it was the drugs or the alcohol or simply Rafe Cameron, but it was easily the best sex you’d ever had in your life, and at one point you’d really considered how much better it could possibly be to fuck him without the condom.
You had no idea that you’d eventually find out.
Once dressed, you’d walked home with a small bag of pills and a satisfied grin. You knew that your friends would host some kind of intervention if they ever found out, but all you’d been able to focus on was the simple fact that fucking Rafe Cameron for a little coke and pills wasn’t sounding like the worst idea. Of course, if you’d known that you’d eventually start fucking him for your livelihood, you might’ve made different choices that night.
You pressed your hand to your face and pushed away from the door, eager to start the shower and scrub the stench of him off of you. Per routine, you took the money out of your pocket before getting undressed, eyeing the wad of one hundreds that now sat on your nightstand. Two grand was nothing to someone like him, but to someone like you, it made all the difference in the world.
…and Rafe knew that.
He’d known that when he handed you a thousand dollars one night, the coke in your system just starting to hit. You’d looked up at him from where you sat in confusion, hesitantly wrapping your hand around the money as you alternated between eyeing it and eyeing him. You hadn’t known how to feel about it, especially since it had only been moments ago when he was inside of you…and there he was handing you a grand in hundreds.
“Don’t look like that,” Rafe had chuckled, walking to his dresser in search of a shirt. “You know you need the money.”
He wasn’t wrong…and that was the problem.
Unless you hit a lucky streak in life, you’d always need the money, and that was exactly why you were in the predicament you were in—four months later and putting up with the monster that was Rafe Cameron just to keep a roof over your head. The thought brought tears to your eyes, positive now that your mom could see you and was beyond disappointed in you. 
Her disappointment could only be outdone by your own.
You were in a situation that you couldn’t get out of, on the verge of ending this arrangement so many times before asking yourself what better way could you pay your mom’s debts and survive? It wasn’t easy money by far, but it was fast money, and it was the kind of money that would take months to make at whatever low paying job you’d find around Outer Banks. Someone like you rarely got hired at the country club or working for some rich snob who wiped their ass with the kind of money you needed.
Rafe knew this too.
Tears kissed your eyes as you scrubbed your skin raw, wishing that you could scrub away the nasty bruise right along with the sweat and grime. You winced every time you touched it, cursing the blond and feeling one of those moments where you considered blocking him and moving on from this pathetic era in your life for good.
Fucking Rafe Cameron for drugs didn’t seem like a bad idea at the time, fucking him for money seemed like an even better one…until that entitled attitude started to extend to the woman he was paying good money to have access to. You remembered the first time you opposed something he wanted to do, the way in which he ignored you, the way he merely pressed your face into the pillow to shut you up.
It was the first time you felt truly icky about this whole situation.
Not even just icky.
…but afraid.
“I don’t pay you to tell me what you will and won’t do in bed,” he’d chuckled at you like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.
You’d still been trembling and wiping mascara from your cheeks.
“I pay you because I want to fuck you,” he’d slowly whispered to you, leaning in. “...and you let me because you don’t want to be sleeping on the beach.”
He’d held your gaze for what felt like too long, impressing upon you the true dynamic of this arrangement, and you remembered the unease that had festered in your gut that day. Maybe all the drugs and alcohol hadn’t allowed you to fully look at this arrangement for what it was and the power imbalance here, but you had for the first time that day, and you hadn’t liked it.
You liked it even less now, wrapping the towel around you and wondering how you were ever going to get out of this predicament you’d put yourself into.
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“My family’s going out of town for the weekend,” the familiar blond mumbled to you as he inhaled a familiar powdery substance off the back of his hand. “Pack a bag when you get home, and I’ll pick you up tomorrow night.”
You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at that, huffing instead.
“I can’t spend the whole weekend on Figure 8,” you told him. “I have plans.”
Rafe nodded, and you hated the smile that danced across his lips.
“Okay, uh, be ready at 8, I don’t want-.”
“Rafe, I’m serious,” you cut him off, shrugging. “I can’t stay at your house all weekend.”
You watched him watch you, slowly swiping his tongue between his lips as a frown started to take over. His dirty blond hair kissed his brows, and the longer the silence stretched, the more nervous you grew. You watched as Rafe glanced away, seemingly deep in thought before those baby blues of his rested on you, much colder than they were a few seconds ago.
“What the hell am I paying you for?” he whispered.
The question was rhetorical, and you swallowed.
“Rafe…I’ve barely seen my friends in months. I finally made plans to meet up with them for more than five minutes and-.”
“...and whose fault is that?” he shrugged.
You frowned at him.
“Nobody told you to go off on a bender when your mom kicked the bucket…” you blinked at his callousness. “Maybe you should’ve been finding comfort in your friends instead of drugs and vodka…and me.”
He finished his sentence with a soft—and yet cruel—smile.
“I pay you good money—great money even!—to be available when I want you to be, and unless you’ve found some other rich asshole to open your legs for, which I doubt…be ready tomorrow at 8.”
He was standing, now, looking down at you where you sat on the bed. The harsh reminder of your roles here had you looking away, and Rafe turned away when he rightfully took your silence as confirmation. You stared at the wall for a few moments before turning to stare at his back, thinking to yourself that this couldn’t go on much longer. Whether it took 1 or 5 jobs, you couldn’t keep relying on Rafe Cameron forever.
What was once a weekly occurrence had turned into something entirely other, and it hadn’t bothered you so much when your mother’s death was still so fresh and you were seeking solace in the worst coping mechanisms known to man—including isolation. Now, however, you were waking up to the choices you’d made and you hated the feeling of being inebriated and being surrounded by people you barely knew.
You hated being away from your friends.
“I didn’t even know you’d gotten a job,” John B. said to you hours later, looking disappointed but understanding. “JJ’s gonna be real disappointed. He’s been talking all week about having you try some new weed he got.”
You gave a light laugh at that, a pang in your chest at how much you missed doing stupid shit with them.
“Yeah,” you sadly said. “The world—and bills—doesn’t stop just because my mom died.”
The brunette grew quiet at that, worriedly eyeing you now.
“You doing okay…?”
You sighed at that, looking out over the yard of The Chateau, fiddling with your fingers as you thought of a certain blond.
“I’ve been better, but…I’ve been worse too.”
Your answer was honest, and you briefly wondered what John B. would think if he knew just how bad ‘worse’ had been. You didn’t think any of them would hate you if they knew the full extent of just how far you’d fallen, but you knew they’d have a hard time wrapping their head around it. The drugs and alcohol were one thing, but Rafe Cameron was entirely another. The man was the worst example of a Kook if there was one, representing every bad trait attributed to them.
Your friends would not understand you essentially sacrificing your self respect for money and drugs.
Sometimes you didn’t understand it either. 
Most especially when Rafe had his hands around your neck.
He picked you up at 8 on the dot Friday night—a man of his word if nothing else—and less than a hour later you were bent over his father’s desk as he pounded into you. Your head was hanging off of it, fighting hard to not scrape your nails against the dark mahogany. It wasn’t the first time Rafe fucked you on Ward’s desk, and you doubted that it would be the last time. There’d even been a few rare occasions when he fucked you in the older man’s bed, and you didn’t know what complex the blond had that fueled these decisions, but you weren’t a psychologist so you figured it wasn’t anything to concern yourself with.
Despite the tight grip on your throat, a choked moan managed to escape every time Rafe pushed his cock into you. Sweat made his skin glisten, and you were sure you fared no better. His hair wasn’t so neat, now, and you had the stray thought that you preferred it that way. Rafe being so far from ugly definitely made this arrangement easier to swallow down at times, but other times it just made you angry.
How was it fair that someone seemingly had everything, including the big dick to match?
Rafe walked around like he was God’s gift to the world, possessing one of the most rotten personalities you’d ever had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of, and he seemed to be rewarded with it with everything the average person could only dream about. As if any of that wasn’t enough, you practically rewarded him with even more by essentially telling him he could do whatever he wanted so long as the price was right.
It made you disgusted with yourself at times.
When he pressed a hand to your stomach, hips slowing to a pace that made your breath hitch, you squeezed your eyes shut. In the quiet office, the sound of his cock disappearing between your folds was loud, the wet noise telling you that there’d no doubt be a mess left on Ward’s desk when this was all said and done. You heard Rafe curse, and you didn’t have the energy to lift your head from where it hung off the desk.
“...and to think,” he panted from above you. “You were going to pass this up to sit around with those dirty Pogues.”
At this, you did attempt to sit up, a hand against his chest and one on the desk as he thrusted into you.
“Those ‘dirty Pogues’ are my friends,” you forced out, lashes fluttering. “...and clearly you forget that I’m one too.”
Rafe merely chuckled at that, perfect teeth winking at you as he grinned.
“Yeah, but you’re my dirty Pogue so it’s a little different.”
His words had your frown deepening, disgust filling your chest at the way he talked about you while literally fucking you. Completely turned off, you turned your head away, attempting to separate yourself from him. That haughty laugh reached your ears, and to your dismay, he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer.
“What…?” he lazily drawled. “You don’t like the sound of that?”
“You’re being an asshole, get off of me…”
He jerked his hips against you, making you gasp, and you squirmed in his arms as you fought to get away. Rafe leaned in to harshly nip his teeth at your cheek, his movements growing rough, causing the desk to shake.
“I’ve spent too much money on you to not say whatever the hell I want,” he evenly said. “So, yeah, at this point, I’ll confidently say I practically own you.”
Tears kissed your eyes at the disgusting words, and fed up with your resistance, Rafe merely placed a hand between your breasts before harshly shoving you back down. You winced at the action, but you had no time to fully linger on it as Rafe started to roughly plunge his cock into you, the sound of his skin slapping against yours reaching your ears. He wouldn’t allow you to sit up, both of his hands wrapped around your wrists now as he leaned over you.
This felt too reminiscent of the time he’d pressed your face into the bed, telling you to relax as he pressed the head of his cock just above where your folds were. You recalled the uncomfortable feeling and the tears that stained the pillow as he slowly fucked you in a place no one ever had before. The deja vu of it all had your mind wandering, eyes defocusing as you just waited for it to be over. It seemed like Rafe’s grunts sounded from above you forever, and when he finally came onto your stomach with a low moan, you didn’t move for some time.
You were slow to sit up as he got dressed, trembling as you steaded yourself for what you were about to say.
“I don’t wanna do this anymore.”
The words came out whispered, but in the quiet study, you might as well have yelled them. Rafe didn’t acknowledge you, and you knew it wasn’t because he hadn’t heard you. Frustrated with his refusal to take you seriously, you hopped off of Ward’s desk, angrily grabbing your clothes.
“I’m serious, Rafe. After this weekend…this is done,” you continued, voice firmer, now. “Don’t call me or text me or worry about any more money. I can’t rely on you forever anyway.”
By now, Rafe was actually listening to you, and you avoided his gaze as you got dressed. His silence was loud, and when you were finally decent again, only then did you lift your gaze to glance at him. His visage was unreadable, and after some time, he merely blinked at you.
“If I remember correctly, per your own words, your mom had enough debt ‘to file for bankruptcy’.”
His words made you sharply inhale, and you bit your tongue as he ran his hands through his hair in a poor attempt to tame the damp locks.
“Don’t ruin your life just because you’re pissed at me,” he coldly added.
You crossed your arms over your chest, pulling your lip between your teeth.
“Personal feelings aside, I can’t rely on you forever, Rafe. That’s just the truth. I have to figure something out eventually, and there’s no time like the present,” your voice shook as he fixed you with an unnerving stare. “I miss my friends, and I don’t want to be the sad, damaged girl running to Rafe Cameron just so I don’t feel anything anymore.”
The blond followed your lead, folding his arms over his own chest as he leaned against the wall, staring you down with that annoying crooked smile.
“...and where exactly do you plan to find a job that pays you what I do?”
“There are jobs, Rafe. I’ll find one.”
You didn’t appreciate his tone nor the look he was giving you as he studied you. He was looking down on you, and yes while that wasn’t exactly an unusual occurrence, this time was different. He was looking down his nose like he didn’t believe in you, like he expected you to be crawling back to him in no time, begging him to fuck you again.
After a few moments, that crooked smile curved even more, and you didn’t miss the glint in his eyes.
“Well, I wish you luck…”
His voice didn’t match the words that came out of his mouth, and his gaze most certainly didn’t.
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“I literally called this morning and was told over the phone that you all were hiring...and now I get here, and I’m being told you’re not…?”
You tried to keep the skepticism out of your tone, but your frustration at your predicament was bubbling up and threatening to be unleashed on the lone man before you. The inside of the country club was practically empty—a slow Tuesday—and you briefly glanced around at the two staffers in the whole room. Sure, you could write it off to a slow day that didn’t need a full staff, but something in you told you that it was more than that.
You didn’t believe the man in front of you.
“Look, I don’t know what else to tell you, miss. Whoever you talked to got it wrong. I’m sorry for the miscommunication on our end,” was his only explanation.
You didn’t dare bother to point out that both he and whoever you’d spoken with on the phone sounded damn near identical.
When it became obvious that this conversation was over, you turned away with a small huff, breezing outside to a familiar dark car. Kie was standing by it, arms uncomfortably crossed over her chest, glaringly obvious that she’d rather be anywhere but here despite being from ‘here’.
“Well…?” she wondered as you got closer.
“They’re not hiring,” you mumbled as you slid into the passenger seat.
She joined you inside the vehicle a moment later, a frown on her face.
“...but you called.”
“I know.”
There was a beat of silence before she scoffed, reaching for her door handle.
“If this is because you aren’t some rich snob looking for play money…”
She trailed off when you spoke up.
“No, I don’t…I don’t think it’s that,” you stopped her. “Let’s just go.”
She eyed you for a few moments, frown deepening.
“Are you sure? Y/N, this is like the fourth place you’ve been to today,” she pointed out. “...and I don’t want to add my stress to your stress, but it’s kind of fucked up.”
You didn’t have the heart to tell her that it wasn’t possible for you to be any more stressed than you already were, simply signaling for her to drive. You could feel her eyes periodically landing on you as she did, and you chewed on the inside of your cheek, wondering why the universe had it out for you.
It had been weeks since you’d last seen or talked to Rafe, weeks since you ended your little arrangement, and weeks since you’d had a consistent source of income. It wasn’t a pretty nor respectable way to make money, but you’d been making money nonetheless. However, you couldn’t find it in you to continue sacrificing your self respect to keep sleeping with Rafe Cameron. You’d also been telling the truth when you told him you didn’t want to be this messed up sad thing anymore.
You had long let go of the drugs and cut back on the drinking, and now you’d dropped Rafe too.
You’d had hope…but now it was dwindling.
No one would hire you. In fact, no one had even allowed you far enough to officially apply just to get a foot into an interview. It was always the same. You’d call ahead so you didn’t waste your time, they’d tell you they were looking for people, and then the moment you actually showed up and introduced yourself, it was an entirely different story. It didn’t make any sense to you, and the thought of ever proving Rafe right made you want to be sick.
“How bad is it?” JJ asked you a few days later, the both of you away and isolated in some corner of some guy’s party.
You looked down at the weak drink in your hand, contemplating on whether or not to be honest.
“It’s…manageable.”
A whopper of a lie.
“...then why don’t I believe you? Come on, Y/N, it’s me. I know your mom wasn’t the best when it came to funds, and when she died…” he scoffed. “You weren’t exactly in any shape to march down to anyone’s job and fight for work just to keep things afloat.”
You looked away at that, throat tight.
“I’m honestly shocked you’ve kept it up for this long.”
If only he knew…
You felt his gaze on you as you wondered just how truthful you should be, but you reminded yourself that this was JJ. If he knew the full extent of everything, he’d be likely to rob a bank. Nevermind the fact that it would just make him ask more questions, like how you’d even managed to keep things afloat all this time. You didn’t think you could lie to him, and you didn’t think you could handle being on the receiving end of whatever look JJ would undoubtedly give you if you told him you’d been sleeping with Rafe to pay your bills.
You didn’t know if it was fortunate or unfortunate that the subject of your thoughts walked through the doors to prevent this conversation from continuing. His presence shouldn’t have shocked you—the party was pretty mixed with people from all sides of the island after all—but it still gave you pause, and JJ noticed.
“This asshole,” you heard the blond murmur, rolling his eyes.
You were inclined to agree, and you shrunk in on yourself with your drink, unable to ignore the knowledge that Rafe was at the same party you were at. In the weeks you’d been free of him, you’d had time to really ponder on your dalliance, and while you’d long accepted your hand in your own life choices, it was now hard to ignore Rafe’s own opportunistic choices in the situation. Sure, yes, you fucked him for money…
…but what did it say about him that he was perfectly happy to enter an arrangement in which he kept you off of the streets so long as you opened your legs for him?
If he was a good guy he’d just…keep you off the streets.
Like JJ would if you ever told him the truth.
You’d just decided to stop hiding in the bathroom when you came face to face with the man himself, heart skipping a beat at his presence. He was leaning against the wall next to the door, and you had the sneaking suspicion he hadn’t been waiting for his turn.
“How’s the job search going?” was how he greeted you, and you hadn’t been able to keep the ire off of your face.
He softly laughed to himself at that, nodding.
“I figured you’d look a little something like that.”
“Fuck you,” you breathed, and Rafe frowned, tilting his head to the side.
“You were, remember? And then you stopped…and that’s how you found yourself back at square one,” he reminded you.
The music traveled from downstairs into the dimly lit hallway, and you looked away from him just as he heaved a tired sigh.
“Do I need to apologize for calling you and your friends dirty Pogues? Is that what this is about?” he lazily wondered.
You didn’t dignify that with a response, and when you lifted your gaze, Rafe was rolling his eyes. He fixed you with a look, reaching up to touch your hair with a tsk.
“Come on, Y/N. You need me…”
He leaned in.
“We both know it, and you’re never going to find a job in this town.”
“You don’t know that,” you fired back, slapping his hand away as you took a step away from him.
Almost instantaneously, Rafe’s entire expression morphed, and you swallowed at the shadow that passed over his features. His pink lips pressed together, and those blue eyes hardened in a way you’d never been on the receiving end of. You watched his nostrils flare.
“Oh, trust me, I know.”
The combination of his tone and his expression and his words gave you pause, and your brows pulled together as you stared at him. For a moment, the music in the house faded into the background as Kie’s words came to your mind. ‘It’s kind of messed up’, she’d said, and while you hadn’t given that much thought to the statement then…you certainly were now.
“What did you do?” you shakily asked the blond, skin growing cold.
Rafe didn’t answer right away, and when he did, it was a lie anyway.
“I don’t know what you mean,” was all he said, one brow raised.
You felt tears kiss your eyes, and you felt silly for not putting the pieces together earlier. You didn’t know how, but somehow, Rafe had a hand in your lack of employment. It seemed exactly like something he’d do, but the only thing you couldn’t understand was why. Why do it? Just to see you fail? Just to feel like he’d won?
“Look, this little rebellious act…it’s cute and amusing and all…” he shrugged off with a small smile. “...but it’s silly. We both know you’re just going to end up right back under me.”
“You’re such an asshole,” you hissed, moving past him.
“Yeah, and you knew that when you let me fuck you for drugs on some guy’s desk,” he threw at you, making you flinch and slow down. 
“I was going through things then, Rafe! I didn’t…” you huffed a sigh, turning to glower at him. “I didn’t care about things I most definitely should have. It’s different now.”
You threw your hands up.
“I’m different, now, and I don’t want to keep sacrificing my dignity and self respect just to keep a roof over my head. I don’t want to sleep with someone who views me and anyone like me as beneath him. It disgusts me, and unlike you, I have no interest in sleeping with people who I claim disgust me.”
You watched Rafe’s lip curl over his teeth.
“Yeah, that’s real respectable and noble and all, but I wonder how noble it’ll feel when you’re being evicted,” he spat at you, moving closer. “You’re not getting a job in this town, that I can promise you, so you keep this up for as long as you want to, but we both know how this ends.”
You leaned away from the finger in your face.
“I fucking own you,” he bit out, roughly grabbing your arm and yanking you close despite your resistance. “You named your price, and I paid it-.”
“For a service! Not a person,” you harshly whispered.
Rafe’s chuckle was cold as he stared you down, perfect teeth winking at you.
“You think you’re the only girl in Outer Banks willing to spread her legs for some money? You think I’d have to pay any of them half of what I paid you?” your stomach dropped at his words. “I’ve been a lot more generous than you realize.”
He roughly let you go, practically shoving you away from him, and you stumbled. He eyed you with an expression filled with promise, and when you turned away to finally find your friends and hopefully leave, you descended the stairs on unsteady legs.
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You pushed against Rafe’s arm and chest as he held your chin in a tight grip. The vehicle you were next to hid you both from view, everyone on the beach none the wiser to what was happening in the parking lot. Your feet tripped over one another as he forced you back, trapping you between him and the metal contraption.
“Is that what you came up with? You think that pathetic Pogue is going to pay your bills? Give you a place to stay when that eviction notice is taped to your door?”
“Get…off…of me,” you snarled, finally shoving him away with difficulty.
Your breathing was heavy as you glared at the blond, lips trembling and heart racing at the downright evil glint in his blue eyes. You glanced over his shoulder for any way to get away from him, your frustration growing as he moved closer.
“Color me curious, but is it somehow more dignified to fuck someone like JJ instead of me?”
The jealousy dripping from his every word threw you for a loop, and you weren’t in the right headspace to even linger on how strange that was.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but we’re not like that,” you drunkenly choked out. “I don’t know why you feel like I need to answer to you about my personal choices.”
It had only been thirty minutes ago that you were dancing with your friends. JJ—ever the flirt—had gotten a bit handsy, but it was nothing unusual. He could get handsy with a tree, and you’d merely smiled at the behavior, ignorant to the heated gaze that was hyper focused on you. You hadn’t even realized he’d been following you when you went to get a drink from Hayward’s truck.
“Butt out of my life already. You’ve already done enough,” you hissed at him, moving to get past him when he stopped you.
“We’re not done talking-.”
His words were interrupted by your hand, the sound of the slap echoing in your ears, and he’d just harshly pushed you against the car at your back when a familiar voice interrupted you both.
“Get off of her!”
Kie was suddenly there, helping you in shoving him away, and she looked at Rafe like he’d lost his mind—like she’d bore witness to an even sinister side to him. The blond didn’t seem all that fazed by her presence, barely sparing her a glance as his jaw clenched, his eyes on you. Clearly he felt that whatever he was contemplating wasn’t worth it, because without another word—but not without a final scoff—he made his way back to the party on the beach.
Kie wrapped her arms around you when you started to cry.
“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
What a loaded question, and you realized that the truth was just on the edge of your tongue. Unable to stop yourself, you threw your arms around her, collapsing under the weight of all your choices and what had led you to make them.
“Kie,” you started, voice trembling in her ear. “I have to tell you something.”
If she was horrified by the truth, she didn’t show it much. You could tell she was shocked as the words tumbled from your lips, her brown eyes stricken and face draining of color. You didn’t know what bothered her more—the drugs, the prostitution, or that both involved Rafe Cameron. As it turns out, it was none of those things.
“Why didn’t…why didn’t you let us help you?” she tearfully wondered, looking between your eyes. “We know how hard it’s been for you, and we wanted to be there for you, but you…you just disappeared. You barely came around, and John B. heard things, but he didn’t want to believe them.”
She whispered that last part, and your chest ached at the thought of your friends hearing about your out of character behavior but feeling powerless to stop it, accepting it as part of your grief.
“Rafe’s a demented asshole,” she finally spoke on the elephant in the room. “...and we won’t let him win, okay?”
There was conviction in Kie’s voice, the kind of conviction that made you want to believe her, and so you nodded at her words.
She helped you straighten, wiping your face and taking you back to the party, quietly promising you that she wouldn’t say anything about any of this to the guys. She stuck to you for the rest of the night, and a week later, she made good on her promise, her parents shaking your hand as they welcomed you to their staff.
“We could always use the extra hands,” Mrs. Carrera told you one Friday evening. “It gets crazy busy, especially on the weekends.”
All the noise in the restaurant only validated her statement.
You’d been working at The Wreck for a week, and while it was nothing like what Rafe had been paying you, it was a job. It was a means of earning your own money that didn’t involve lowering yourself to the likes of Rafe Cameron. It was grueling, sure, and you sometimes wondered if it was truly worth the money, but then you’d think of the alternative, and you’d decide that it was worth something and that’s what mattered.
You hadn’t been paying that much attention when you approached your last table for the night, looking up from the apron at your waist and stopping in your tracks.
“Hey, I didn’t know you worked here too,” Topper said, a fairly neutral greeting.
Topper may have been just as much of an asshole as his friends, but he at least played nice for the public. Your gaze traveled around the table, quickly looking away when it connected with a familiar blue.
“It’s…a fairly new gig,” you finally said, getting your notepad ready.
“Hey, if you’re going to use your friends for anything, might as well use them to become a productive member of society,” he told you, his tone now making you frown.
Opting to ignore the comment, you asked them what they wanted. You didn’t make eye contact with Rafe when he gave you his order, hand unsteady as you wrote it down. When you left them to go and get their drinks, you weren’t surprised to hear the scrape of a chair behind you. You were focused on rounding the counter, reaching for some clean glasses.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
You didn’t forget your last encounter with the rich blond, tempted to ignore his presence altogether, but you were unfortunate enough to know how Rafe operated. Pausing in your movements, you turned to look at him, not surprised at all by the unhappy look on his face.
“I’m working, Rafe. What does it look like?”
You eyed the way his jaw ticked, finger gently tapping against the counter as he simply…stared you down. You glanced away, realizing that he didn’t have any power over you anymore. No, you weren’t completely out of the woods, but you had a secured source of income, and you’d happily struggle and scrape over sleeping with Rafe ever again.
“Go find some other struggling girl to take advantage of,” you finally said to him, grabbing their drinks and making your way to their table without a backwards glance.
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Working at The Wreck was hard work, and no matter how many shifts you covered and how many tips you got, it was still long and hard work for half the money Rafe had ever paid you. You knew this when Kie came to you about the job, but on the other side of it, you were so beyond grateful for it. You were still stressed, of course, your monetary problems not going away anytime soon, but it was the normal stress of the average working twenty-something.
It wasn’t the kind of worry that came from a violent and abusive lover.
Rafe had been by the restaurant a few times since that day, and each time was more nerve-wracking than the last. Sometimes you served him, sometimes you didn’t, but it didn’t really matter because his gaze always found its way to you either way. On the days when Kie worked too, she’d ask you if you wanted her to do something about him, but you always declined.
After all, what reason would you have her give to her parents for kicking out the son of Ward Cameron who—to their knowledge—hadn’t done anything to warrant it?
Maybe you should’ve listened to Kie though. While you didn’t know if that would’ve changed things, you at least would have felt better about attempting to do something. Perhaps it was the mere sight of watching you work—watching you earn money independent of him—that made him snap, made him drop all pretenses completely. Barring him from the restaurant while you were there might’ve triggered some out of sight, out of mind response. It might’ve forced him to slowly get over whatever this thing was that he had about you.
It might have…
…and it also might not have done shit. Perhaps nothing would’ve changed, and you still would’ve found yourself tearfully staring at Kie’s mom as you took off your apron for the last time.
It was a normal Saturday when the texts and emails came through. The busiest day of the week, the most packed the restaurant ever would be for the next six days, and you’d been placing some fries down in front of some family’s kid when the noise in the restaurant…changed. You hadn’t been able to pinpoint how it changed, but if you did your best, it was like the chatters went from excitement about their food or whatever happened during the week to something else entirely.
One single thing that everyone was talking about.
You weren’t getting paid to mind your patrons’ business, but you started to think differently about that when the people at the table you were next to started to heavily eye you. The whole restaurant was loud with hushed chatter, so you couldn’t hear what they were saying, but the glances between the phones in their hands and you had you frowning.
You were slowly glancing around—realizing that that table wasn’t the only one—when you were yanked by your arm off the floor.
“What are you doing? What’s going on?” you worriedly wondered the moment Kie had you hidden from view.
The look on her face was hard to read, but her parted lips and wide eyes told you that she was horrified. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, seemingly unable to get the words out before slamming it shut, swallowing. The combination of her expression, her silence, and the lack of silence out there had a ball of dread forming deep in your gut.
“Kie,” you softly said. “What…what’s wrong?”
It took her a moment to speak.
“It’s Rafe,” she softly said.
Your confusion only grew, still not quite understanding. 
“What happened? Is he bothering you? Did…he do something to you?” you hesitantly asked, fearful that your former tormentor had turned his sights onto your friend.
“Not to me.”
That simple sentence started to put the pieces together, and you turned your face towards the front of the restaurant, recalling the stares and whispers and listening to the excited chatter. Your skin grew cold, goosebumps erupting all over you, and that dread was long gone. It was instead replaced by nausea.
“He sent everyone something…”
“No,” you heard yourself whisper.
“...a video.”
You turned to her with wide eyes, shaking your head in disbelief. Glancing down, you caught sight of her phone in her hand, and before Kie could stop you, you’d snatched it out of her grip. You moved out of her reach as she extended her arm, desperately trying to protect you, but it was too late.
You felt like you were weighed down by bricks as you stared at the two familiar faces on the screen.
It had to have been taken months ago, during one of the first few times you’d slept with him. You both were in Ward’s bedroom, and you remembered the day all too well, recalling the feel of his palm striking your skin and his voice in your ear before pulling your head down to his lip. Of course, it was that one and not one of the ones where he’d held you down and forced you to take his thrusts.
Your hand was empty, not even realizing when Kie had taken it back, simply staring into space at the memory of what was on that screen.
“Y/N, when my parents find out—and they’re going to find out—they…”
Her words died in the air at the sound of footsteps behind you, and you flinched when you heard a familiar voice call your name. Mrs. Carerra didn’t sound happy, and her expression fared no better when you turned around. You couldn’t stop your tears from spilling over as she gestured for you to follow her further into the back of the restaurant. You knew what was coming, what Kie was trying to prepare you for.
It was what Rafe wanted, after all…and he’d gotten it.
It was hours later when you were sitting with your back against your door, your phone turned off, overwhelmed by the influx of missed calls and messages from your friends. You’d only gotten a glimpse at them before finding your head bent inside of your toilet. Every single one of them bar Kie were shocked, their horror and confusion clear as day through their words. Only Pope had eventually sent a text that asked if you were okay.
…and the truth was that you weren’t.
You were so far from okay.
Rafe had won, he’d gotten exactly what he wanted, and even though Mrs. Carerra had expressed sympathy for your plight—more angry at the situation than anything else—she’d still had no choice but to let you go. Every other business in town valued the Cameron family way too much, and the only place that had been willing to hire you had been swayed by Rafe too in the worst manner possible.
It was well after midnight when your door shook from harsh knocks. You hadn’t moved in hours, just blankly staring at the wall, and you closed your eyes at the sound, positive it was one of your friends. You didn’t have the strength to face them, to answer questions and either break down or pretend you felt far better than you actually did.
You did, however, have the strength to face Rafe, your gaze lifting when his voice met your ears, demanding that you open the door.
His fist was still in the air when you swung it open, looking at him like he was something you’d find on the bottom of your shoes. He looked as put together as ever, completely unfazed by what he’d done. And why wouldn’t he be? This wouldn’t hurt his reputation and success in this town a bit. If nothing else, the video would have even more girls falling at his feet, but for some reason he didn’t seem to want that.
He preferred to force your hand instead.
“What is wrong with you?” you tearfully asked him, throat tight.
He didn’t respond right away, touching his tongue to his lip as his gaze roamed behind you.
“You gonna let me in?”
Your eyes almost popped out of your sockets, and he gave a haughty laugh.
“It’s not like I’ve left you with much of a choice, now, have I?”
He sounded so…proud of himself, and all you could do was cry as he brushed past you. He closed the door for you, noticing that you were struggling to move, and he kept his hand on the wood, his chest grazing your back as he pressed his face into your hair. You heard him deeply inhale, and you squeezed your eyes shut.
“I told you how this would end,” he whispered. “I gave you a chance to be smart about this.”
You went to move away from him, but his other hand shot out to grip your arm.
“You’re the one who made things way more difficult than they needed to be.” he continued. “We had a good thing going…and then you had to go and get sensitive and sentimental.”
When he forced you to face him, you kept your eyes on the collar of his shirt. The silence stretched as you refused to look at him, and you eventually heard Rafe heave a sigh. He let your arm go, and you watched him reach into his pocket, disappointed but not surprised by the roll of one hundred dollar bills he pulled out. When he straightened, he took your hand and placed the money in your palm, clasping your hands together.
A few more tears escaped when his fingers threaded through yours.
“Do you still feel like fighting this?” he quietly asked. “Let me know, right now, because I have all the time—and money—in the world.”
He slowly pulled you closer.
“You don’t.”
You shakily exhaled, reluctantly lifting your gaze to meet his own. You stared at one another for what felt like too long, and when he leaned in, taking your silence as defeat, you let him kiss you. It was a salty kiss, your own tears mixing in, but Rafe didn’t seem to mind, moving his lips against yours with a growing smile. His arm snaked its way around your waist, and the animalistic noise he let out told you just how excited he was to have you back under his thumb.
The couch seemed sufficient enough for him, bringing you both to it as he peeled your clothes off. You shuddered as the air hit your naked skin, thoughtlessly moving closer to his own body heat, and Rafe pressed a kiss to your shoulder as he laid you down. It felt like ages since you’d last slept with him, but you knew that wasn’t why you were trembling.
You were trembling because you finally realized you were sleeping with a monster. Before, Rafe had just been an opportunistic asshole to you. Rich, spoiled, selfish, the list went on, but now he was so much more than that. He was now someone who’d raped you on more than one occasion, and who had proved that he’d do anything to make you completely reliant on no one but him.
How else could he ensure that you’d never leave him? Never have any other choices but him? You’d eventually have to leave Outer Banks one day, you knew that to be true if you ever wanted a life independent of him, but that video could follow you around for the rest of your life, and very probably would.
When Rafe sheathed himself inside of you, stretching you out in a way that was regularly familiar to you, you gasped. The blond wasted no time in adopting a steady pace, fucking you hard against your couch, his fingers pressing into the arm of it. His grunts were soft in your ears, and despite your combined hatred and fear of him, you weren’t able to swallow down the whimpers that escaped your lips too.
You didn’t know what kind of hard on Rafe had for fucking someone he deemed so far beneath him, even more so to go through so much trouble of forcing you right back into his bed. You didn’t understand it one bit, and part of you never wanted to. You didn’t want to understand a thing that went on inside of his head, didn’t want to understand the thought process behind doing what he’d done to you.
His fingers scraped down your thigh before yanking you forward as he sat up some, looking down to where his cock disappeared into you. He was focused on the sight, lips parting as he panted from above you. He didn’t lean back down until your leg was over his shoulder, preventing you from moving much as he used you to chase his high, hips repeatedly curving against yours and forcing you to grip the couch.
“I missed this pussy so much,” he murmured, lips grazing the corner of your mouth as he spoke. “You drive me crazy, you know that?”
You hadn’t before, but you did, now.
When his hand landed on your throat, it didn’t hurt, but his thumb applied just enough pressure to keep you alert.
“I’ll stop calling your friends dirty Pogues if that makes you feel better,” he whispered, a gentle kiss from his lips to yours. “...but you still belong to me.”
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