#but I even have an explanation for why it might be an

[moonstruckme]

Pookie! I need you to write me something pretty please :)

Can you write Remus comforting a reader with an anxiety disorder when someone told them "there's nothing to be anxious about. You just want attention" ??? Pretty please?? Love you pookieeeeeee

Thanks for requesting!

cw: mean girl stuff, social anxiety

Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 929 words

“Shh.” Remus holds you close to his chest, his hand moving up and down your arm now that your crying has slowed. “It’s okay. It’s just us, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” you echo, croakily. You’re glad you can’t see your boyfriend’s face, for fear you’d die of embarrassment otherwise. The looming insecurity of your day stands over you like a grim reaper. 

You arrived home from a friend’s birthday dinner to find Remus sitting on the couch, already marking the page of his book as he turned to you with a soft smile. 

“Hi, sweetheart. How was it?” 

You replied, through a laugh that turned into a sob halfway through, “Not great.” 

The dinner had been an event of foreboding for you since your invite. You’d been determined to be a good friend by not bailing, but actually going had confirmed your worst fears; it was loud, crowded, filled with people you didn’t know and didn’t fit with. Your outfit wasn’t right, the menu was daunting, and conversation swirled all around you about things you weren’t a part of. The fallout was basically inevitable. 

You perhaps waited too long to excuse yourself. You were sweating buckets and breathing around a lump by the time you did, whispering an explanation to your friend before locking yourself into a bathroom stall to talk yourself down. You’re sure she didn’t mean anything by telling the people sitting closest to her why you were gone—you don’t think she’d do it to gossip, and she’s never talked down to you about that sort of thing, at least not to your face—but by the time you returned one of her friends—a stranger to you, who’s name you can’t even remember—had formulated a fairly decisive opinion and dubbed you an attention seeker. 

You stayed only a little longer after that. Just long enough to avoid attracting more attention. And you worked yourself up well enough on the way home that all it took was one innocent question from Remus to send you crumpling into his arms. 

You’ve tried to steel yourself more than once, but any attempts at stoicism have been foiled by your boyfriend’s tender looks and whispered placations, which only make you cry harder. If you’re an attention seeker, Remus is your holy grail. Self loathing sits lodged in your throat like a stone. 

“Whose friend was it, again?” Remus asks, stroking your arm gently. 

You take a breath, trying to steady your voice. “Does it matter?” 

“I don’t mean it’s your friend’s fault, sweetheart,” Remus says. He’s all softness and patience, better than you could ever deserve. “I just thought you might talk to her, if you want to. She ought to know her friend is going around saying cruel things.” 

“She was there.” Your throat tightens at the memory. 

“Oh. Then I don’t suppose you need to say anything; I’m sure she’s already very upset for you.” 

You try to laugh, frustrated with yourself when it only seems to spur another wave of tears. “Rem. You’re biased.” 

“What?” Remus sounds genuinely surprised. “You don’t think she’s angry with that other girl?”

“She’s her friend.” 

“So are you.” His arms tighten around you protectively, chin bumping your head. “I may be biased, but the other girl was clearly in the wrong. There’s no excuse for the way she acted.” 

A dozen rebuttals fly about your head, but you keep your mouth shut. You don’t have the energy to argue. Unfortunately, Remus hears your argument in the silence anyway. 

“Sweetheart,” he says softly, “no one puts themselves through what you do for attention. You don’t choose to feel that way.”

You hunch your back, tucking your head underneath his chin. “I do get attention for it, though.” 

“That doesn’t mean you want it.” 

“But I—”

“Do you want it?” You can’t see Remus, but you hear the hardened edge to his tone. “Did you like it, when that girl called attention to you in the middle of the dinner?” 

Your voice smalls. “No.” 

“Right.” The gentleness returns. Remus puts his lips to your head. “I know you didn’t, dovey. So don’t torment yourself, please. She doesn’t know anything about you.” 

You push your lips together. He lets you chew on your next words for a while, his thumb swiping softly back and forth over your upper arm, the sleeve of your top shifting slightly with the motion. 

“What if…” You gnaw the inside of your cheek. Remus waits. “What if everyone thinks that?” 

“Mm. Well, for what it’s worth, I don’t think most people would. Surely not anyone who knows you, or anyone worth being around.” He takes a breath, thinking. “You can’t always control what people think. I know you say I’m biased, but anyone who thinks something like that really isn’t worth thinking about at all. You’ve got enough going through that head of yours, yeah?” He kisses your hair fondly. 

“I guess so,” you admit. 

“Yeah,” Remus decides. He pulls away to see your face, pushing hair away from your tacky cheeks. “I’d say so.” 

You wonder if you look as horrendously in love as you feel. You think you must, because your boyfriend’s expression softens impossibly further as he turns his head to give you a proper kiss. You feel raw but comforted, and suddenly, totally exhausted. 

“Let the bullies worry about themselves.” Remus gives you a tender look. “I’ll worry about you.” 

You let a small smile tilt your lips. “And what am I left to worry about?” 

“Nothing,” he says solemnly. “Think you can manage that?” 

“Nope.” 

“Mm. Well, try.” 

[brazenautomaton]

I guess I should've been more clear when I said Boeing "paid off" the bereaved family, that's on me I guess, but I didn't mean they paid them off in the same sense that you'd pay off a cop. If it even transpired, it would more than likely go something like: "Hey, we feel really bad about the tragic loss of your son who definitely for sure killed himself, so uh, here's some money for your loss. See, we're the good guys in this! Please don't point fingers at us." Or alternatively, they could've not been paid at all. Both are just as likely and explain why the family might still be pointing fingers. It wouldn't have been hush money, more like a gift meant to ingratiate them as an innocent party that obviously didn't work (again, assuming it even happened).

You have already forgotten what you were supposed to be explaining! You said they were paid off to explain why they looked at the evidence and concluded Boeing didn't assassinate him! Neither of those explain the thing you said! Neither of those make a fucking lick of sense when slotted in to the claim you made! You're not even paying attention to the things you say and think, the only consistency is that you believe it must all be a conspiracy of some kind!

"Alternatively, they could've not been paid at all." Your explanation as to why they blame Boeing for his death, but conclude he was not directly assassinated, was that they were "easily corruptible" but "could not have been paid at all."

But the evidence that he killed himself is the hole in his head and the "trust me bro" we get from the cops, which is the same exact kind of evidence that we got from Epstein's supposed suicide as well, just a man hanging in his cell and a "trust me bro" from the cops.

No. That is not what the evidence is. That is the opposite of what the evidence is. I have specifically told you that the evidence is not "trust me," in the post you did not read. You didn't read it. You didn't read the post. Because you do not care about facts in material reality, you only care about who you like and who you dislike when you look at what to believe.

The evidence he killed himself is: the lack of signs of a struggle, the fact the gun was one he owned since 2000, the struggle with mental illness, the testimony of everyone who had seen him dealing with Boeing's harassment and how it had caused his mental health to deteriorate, the notebook full of profane rants in his handwriting about what utter fucking scumbags Boeing was, the complete lack of anyone else's fingerprints, the lack of any unusual activity on his cell phone, the lack of any unusual activity on his hotel room key, and the fact that there was a fucking security camera in the parking lot and nobody else got into his car and nobody else touched his car and his car didn't move. The lack of unusual activity on his phone/GPS and hotel room key indicates nobody got into his car at another location. I said all of this in a post you claimed to read but did not read.

Not anything, no, just the ones where Occam's razor applies. Again, which is more likely, a hundred billion dollar company who are active agents of shady, illegal business practices had both the cause and the means to have someone with information dangerous to their company killed and covered up... or that the guy who was about to testify with said-dangerous information just up and decided to end it all right before the finish line?

That's not what happened you fucking twit. I have said this, in this conversation! He was not about to testify. He had already testified. The Boeing attorneys wanted to call him back for a third day of questioning, during which THEY planned to ask him questions that would be good for their case because they were the ones asking the questions and attempting to get him to say things that discredited him. His testimony was not invalidated by his death, it had already been admitted. He had already testified. He had crossed the finish line. He had already testified. That is knowledge about material fucking reality that you don't think is important because you just keep repeating large quantities of money like it overrides time and matter.

You didn't read that paragraph. Go back and read that paragraph.

No, actually go back and read that paragraph. Actually read the words in it.

I know you didn't read it. Go back and read the words in that paragraph instead of not reading them.

So then explain to me how exactly it's so unbelievable that a dude not in prison, not under watch by guards or cameras, was murdered in his car and then covered up as a suicide? How was one dude with dangerous information under total security and surveillance mysteriously killed and staged, but the other dude with dangerous information with no security or surveillance probably just killed himself?

Is this a bit? Are you doing a bit? Do you literally not care about material reality beyond asking the question "who benefits?"

Do you need me to answer why it is more suspicious that a guy who had a 24-hour detail of people whose entire job was to prevent him from killing himself killed himself when all of those people suddenly stopped paying attention at the same time and the equipment that was supposed to record him in his cell also suddenly stopped working, than a guy who did not have a 24-hour detail of people whose entire job was to prevent him from killing himself killed himself?

There are facts and details about the world we can observe and draw conclusions from. Repeating a large quantity of money does not override time and matter. It is not naive to rely on observations of reality more than repeating a large quantity of money. You do not have to believe that money does not have corrupting properties to believe money does not override time and matter.

Remember earlier this year when Boeing very clearly had a whistleblower executed? And law enforcement didn't even look for anyone or release any info about it or anything?

People keep comparing Luigi Mangione's case to the subway murderer who got off because of systemic eugenics, but I think there's something more apt about the fact that a CEO had someone executed in recent memory, with zero attempts to find a culprit, while they spared no expense at all to find (and probably frame, it's beginning to look like) someone who shot a CEO. It's always fine to slaughter if you're rich, but if you kill the rich, they will hunt you down.

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

Requested by: @idkwthgoitmww <3 thanks, hun! Words: 2,451 Pairing: Negan Smith x Fem!Reader Warnings: language, descriptions of blood and injuries, references to assault and possible attempted sexual violence (did not occur, no description or details) Summary: Negan has to figure out why you've collapsed and try to patch you up. Concern and banter ensues... A/N: I intended this to be the final part, but now I think maybe we need a little more closure with these two? Hmm... should I do one more part? Let me know in the reblogs or comments!

Previous part here!

“Shit, shit, shit,” Negan growled through his teeth. “Alright. Okay…” He scooped you into his arms the rest of the way and laid you down on the couch as gently as he could. Clearly, more had happened out there than you had admitted to him. He clasped your face one more time in an attempt to rouse you. “Hey, doll? Wake up,” he urged. But not even an eyelid twitched. You were out cold. Negan straightened up and rubbed a hand over his face. Obviously, there was a reason you were passed out, so he needed to figure out what it was and fix it. A flash of terror seemed to seize his heart in a tight, icy grip. Hopefully, he could fix it.

His eyes went to your head, propped on the throw pillow at one end of the couch. Head injury? He knelt beside you and cupped your head in his hands gently, turning it slightly this way and that, feeling for any bumps or injuries. He felt and saw nothing besides the injury to your ear which he’d already noticed, and that certainly wasn’t enough to warrant you passing out. His hands and his eyes traveled down to your neck. He unwrapped your scarf and slipped it off. There was the mark he’d seen right away, which was quickly darkening toward a bruise. A bruise and a scratch? Someone had had you by the neck? Just the idea of it made a hot flame of anger flare upwards in his chest.

His fingers went to the buttons of your coat and he loosed them. The wool fabric fell open and he didn’t have to search for an explanation any longer. “Oh, shit,” he cursed. Your white sweater was completely stained crimson on your left side. The material was soaked with blood and it was running toward your back and starting to seep into your coat. “Fuck me,” Negan swore, climbing hurriedly to his feet. He rushed over to the shelves and grabbed a couple clean towels before returning to your side. He let out a shaky breath.

Negan peeled your shirt up, completely unsure of what he would find underneath. At first, he was met only with the sight of a gauze bandage taped to your skin, also completely saturated with your blood. But when he peeled that up, there was a rather significant round hole in your side, about halfway between the flare of your hip and your ribs. A gunshot wound. It looked like you’d tried to stitch it yourself, but the stitches were clumsy and ineffective, probably due at least in part to the fact that you wouldn’t have been able to see it well. “Jesus, doll,” Negan murmured. He gently rolled you slightly toward the back of the couch and tucked one of the towels underneath you. The other he pressed to the wound while he tried to think about what to do. He didn’t have a ton of first aid supplies on hand. His hazel eyes landed on your pack and he dragged it closer, keeping pressure on the wound with the other hand as best he could.

The first thing he pulled out from inside your bag was another bloodstained shirt. He held it up and could see the actual bullet hole through the fabric. He tossed it down. He dug inside again and finally his hands closed around a plastic bag full of first aid supplies. He let out a breath of relief and started setting them out on the little table next to him.

He looked at you lying prone on the couch and realized the bleeding might slow if he rolled you onto your side. “Alright, sweetheart. Let’s get you fixed up,” he said softly. He stood and slipped his hands underneath you again and gently tipped you toward the back of the couch, adjusting the pillow beneath your head. It was just then, perhaps jostled awake, when you started to stir.

The first thing you really remembered was the sensation of cold air on your side and the residual cloud of pain which seemed to be pulsing through your entire torso. “Fuck,” you muttered, dragging your eyelids open.

“Doll?” Negan sounded relieved and you felt his hand press down hard on your side, adding pressure to some wad of something soft.

“Ow!” you hissed, trying to sit up and push him off you.

“Whoa, whoa! Take it easy! You’re bleeding a lot here. We’ve gotta get this stitched up again,” Negan said.

“I already stitched it,” you argued, not thinking entirely clearly at the moment.

“Yeah, and you did a piss poor job, which is why you’re currently lying in a pool of your own blood,” he retorted, not letting up on the pressure to the wound.

You craned your neck to look over at Negan and your side, your brows tense in a wince. Your sweater was soaked crimson and pushed up so Negan could hold a towel over the wound. Your skin was smeared and stained. You felt suddenly tired and laid back down, trying to catch your breath. “Fine… okay,” you sighed. “Do whatever you need to.”

Negan let out a noise that was part laugh and part scoff. “I was planning on it. Hey—is the bullet still in there?”

You nodded, closing your eyes against another wave of pain. “Yeah…”

“Uh, shouldn’t we try to get that out? You could get an infection.”

You laughed grimly. “I was going to leave it in because going on a fishing expedition inside my body with dirty hands while I was laying in the woods didn’t seem like a good idea. Not to mention the fact that I can’t really see it. But please, by all means…”

Negan cleared his throat. “Alright. Hey—hold the towel on here a minute.” You placed your hand over his, sharply aware of even the glancing contact before he slipped away. You stared at the back of the worn couch, focusing on the little squares of woven stitches. You could hear him opening and closing cabinets in the next room.

“Take your time,” you said loudly. “Not like I’m slowly bleeding out over here...”

Negan came back in with a large glass bottle in his hand. Vodka.

You stared at him. “I’m more of a whiskey girl, myself,” you said dryly.

He let out a disbelieving laugh and shook his head. You were still cracking jokes with a bullet in your side. “Of course you are, doll. I’d have guessed that. But this is all I’ve got.” You finally noticed the long silver instrument in his other hand and any jest you had left in you slipped away. You gulped at the sight of the cold metal of the long tweezers.

“You better hand me that bottle,” you said.

“It’s for disinfect—”

“I don’t give a shit. I need a drink if you’re going to dig that thing into me,” you breathed.

_ _ _ _ _ _

The sound of your own breathing came first, steady but louder than normal, and then there was the comforting sound of a crackling fire in the background. Your eyes were a bit bleary as you opened them but cleared as you blinked a few times. Your side felt as if it was on fire.

You shifted on the couch and Negan straightened up in his chair, the grim expression on his face melting away. “Thank fuck you’re awake,” he said, leaning forward to study your face. “How ya feelin’?”

“Uhh—I think a little drunk actually,” you said, sitting up and putting a hand to your head. The room wobbled a little.

“I’m not surprised. You may have overdone it on the liquid courage. I barely had enough to do the job,” Negan said.

You pressed a hand over your side and could feel that he’d secured a bandage and gauze over the wound. The bandage wrapped all the way around you. “I passed out again?”

Negan nodded and then grabbed a little saucer off the table and held it out so you could see what was on it. “Fucker was in there pretty deep,” he said. The bullet made a sharp noise as it rolled on the ceramic. It was stained with a rusty coating of dried blood.

You nodded. “Right. Well, you got it. Don’t throw that out. I want it,” you said with a half-smile. “I’ll make a necklace or something with it.” Negan didn’t look amused. “It stitched up okay?”

Negan nodded again, discarding the plate on the table again and giving you a long, serious look. “Yeah, it was easy since I could actually see it.” He sighed as you avoided his hazel eyes. “Your ear. That’s a bullet graze.” It wasn’t a question.

You fiddled with the edge of blanket he’d tucked over you, but said nothing. Negan sighed heavily again and you were surprised to see him anxiously running both his hands over his face. You thought they looked a little shaky even. “I’m fine,” you said.

“Somebody almost blew your head off on the way here, but you’re fine?” he said. His voice was deep and gruff, and you could hear anger in it. Not at you, but at what had happened. It surprised you how much feeling was in his voice. “Tell me.”

You gulped and shrugged. “I—ran into some men on the way here. First, they demanded my gear but—that—wasn’t enough,” you said. You avoided his eyes again. “I don’t think they even wanted the gear...” you trailed off. There was a tense silence for a long moment before you hazarded a glance up at Negan and there was a shadow on his face and a violent rage behind his eyes. “They underestimated me. I fought them off but—the last guy had a gun I didn’t know about... But—I took care of it. I’m fine,” you said again, repeating it in the same tone you had every single time you’d already said it. Were you trying to convince yourself or him?

Negan leaned forward, his gaze still intense. “You were attacked by a group of men on the way here, shot in the side, and almost shot in the head which you barely survived, and you’re ‘fine’,” he said. His expression softened as he looked at you, the anger replaced with some mixture of worry and sorrow and regret. “Doll—”

You let out a humorless laugh. “I have to be fine! So, I am!” you said, perhaps a little more loudly than you needed to. “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve been in almost the exact same situation since the world went to shit? Be glad you were born a man.”

His eyes flickered over your face, the worry on your behalf still pronounced. “Coming to see me would be a pretty fuckin’ stupid reason to die,” he said.

“I didn’t die, did I? I’m fine.”

He looked hesitant. “None of them got away? Because if they did, I will go out there right now and put them down myself. Just say the word.”

You shook your head. “None of them are left. I took care of it.”

His eyes flickered between yours and the feeling between you was intense and charged. His jaw tightened and he straightened up again in his seat. “For fuck’s sake, why the hell didn’t you just tell me what happened when you got here?”

You opened your mouth to speak, then closed it again. Then, you finally said, “I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

Negan gave you a look. “You were shot. You almost died. It is a big fuckin’ deal. Besides, how’d that work out for you, hmm? Not making a big deal out of it? You passed out right in front of me and were suddenly soaked in blood.”

“I thought I’d taken care of it myself. I didn’t think—”

Negan crossed his arms, surveying you from his place at the table. “No, you just never want to have to rely on anyone else. Because you think that makes you vulnerable.”

You looked at him with a struck look of surprise and he knew he’d hit the mark. “What, were you a shrink in your last life?”

“No. A gym teacher,” he said with a small laugh.

You couldn’t stop the laugh that left you just after his. “Wow. Really? Sexy,” you said sarcastically.

His lips curved in a small smile. He was relieved you were cracking jokes again. Some of the tension in the air seemed to evaporate. “I’m glad you think so. You’re stuck here now for a few days, so get comfortable, sweetheart.”

You rolled your eyes. “If you think I’m going to let you, of all people, boss me around—”

Negan smiled more broadly. “I love when you try to argue with me. It’s good. I need a firm fucking hand. Speaking of jobs requiring a firm hand—”

“Negan—” you warned him, your tone dangerous.

“—I better go cut some more firewood before we run out,” he finished with a grin. You felt your cheeks flushing. “Jesus, where was your dirty little mind at?” he asked, climbing to his feet. “You relax and drink some water. I’ll be back in a few.”

You stared at his tall frame as he pulled his coat on and opened the door to step outside. “You said it that way on purpose!” you yelled after him.

He glanced back at you over his shoulder from the doorway with that same shit-eating grin. “What? I don’t get what you’re driving at. Maybe you could explain it to me?”

You flicked him off and shot him a glare. Negan only laughed. “Listen, don’t get your hopes up. You’ve got some healing up to do before we can—”

“Negan—” you growled.

“—walk back to Alexandria together. For fuck’s sake, what did you think I was about to say?” You gave him an unamused look and he laughed again. The sound warmed you. “Don’t worry about a thing. I’ve got it from here. Just rest. You’ll be back kicking ass before you know it. And in the meantime, I am fuckin’ thrilled to have your company.”

[mindless-existence1]

HIHIHI Could you write a Shadow x reader (romantic)who loves space and tells him all about like where which constellation n allat?

Authors note: So I don't know anything about stars so I asked my friend who does and he told me about these so if they are wrong blame him. Also thanks for sending the request!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night sky above Green Hills stretched endlessly, the stars twinkling like diamonds scattered across a sea of black velvet.

Shadow stood silently at the crest of a hill just outside of town, his crimson eyes fixed on the expanse above. Beside him, you were bouncing with excitement, the cold air forgotten as you pointed upward.

“You can see so much more out here,” you marveled, scanning the heavens. “No light pollution to ruin the view.”

Shadow glanced at you, his expression neutral, though a faint softness lingered in his gaze. “That’s why I brought you here. You mentioned wanting a better look.

Your heart swelled at his thoughtfulness. Despite his gruff demeanor, Shadow always had a way of making you feel seen and appreciated. You plopped onto the soft grass and patted the spot next to you.

“Come on, sit with me. You can’t just stand there brooding all night.” With a quiet huff, Shadow lowered himself beside you, his movements deliberate and measured.

He rested his arms on his knees, his attention split between you and the stars.“Okay,” you began, pointing to the sky.

“That’s Orion’s Belt right there—see the three stars in a row? And over there is Taurus, the bull. You can tell by the V-shape of its horns.” Shadow followed your gestures, his eyes narrowing slightly as he traced the patterns you described.

“You know a lot about this,” he remarked, his tone calm but intrigued. “Oh, you haven’t even heard the half of it,” you replied, grinning.

“Space is fascinating. Did you know that Betelgeuse, one of the stars in Orion, is a red supergiant? It’s so big that if it replaced our sun, it would extend past Jupiter!”

Shadow tilted his head, his lips quirking in what might have been the beginnings of a smile. “I see why you find it interesting,” he said. “It’s… vast.”

You nodded enthusiastically, launching into an explanation about black holes and neutron stars, your voice animated as you shared fact after fact.

Shadow listened intently, his silence encouraging you to keep going. At one point, you paused, glancing over at him.

“Am I talking too much?” Shadow shook his head. “No. I prefer this to silence.”His answer warmed you, and you turned your attention back to the sky.

“You know,” you said after a moment, “the universe is so big and full of mysteries. It makes you feel small, but in a good way. Like, even the worst day doesn’t matter on a cosmic scale.”

Shadow considered this, his gaze drifting upward. “Maybe that’s why I’ve always liked the stars,” he admitted softly.

“They’re constant. Unchanging.” You smiled, leaning your shoulder against his. “And beautiful. Like you, when you’re not scowling.”

He gave you a sideways glance, the faintest hint of a blush creeping up his cheeks. “I don’t scowl that much,” he muttered.

You giggled, reaching out to lightly squeeze his hand. “Thanks for bringing me here, Shadow. It means a lot.”

He hesitated for a moment before entwining his fingers with yours. “You’re welcome,” he said simply, his voice low but sincere.

For the rest of the night, you continued pointing out constellations and sharing everything you knew about the cosmos, while Shadow sat quietly, content just to be by your side.

[fernpetals]

Good Cop, Bad Cop V

Masterlist

Part 1 Part2 Part 3 Part 4

Yandere Tom Ludlow x Reader

Warning: Power imbalance, mention brutal crimes and crimes against women

GIF is not mine, credit to the @scarlettspectra.

Unedited Part

Before you know it, this becomes a routine. Every other week, when you have to report to the police station and end up being late, he drops you home. At this point, you can bet that you will recognise his charger anywhere.

Your steps cease when you spot the vehicle outside your workplace. You don't know why, but you take a few steps back before turning around and walking back into your office. You know that he means well, just doing his jb, but you find him a bit…intense. His gaze is enough to reduce you into a fumbling mess.

Taking out your phone, you check for any message in case you have missed it. There is none. What is he doing here?

Okay, you have not done anything wrong, it’s a new city and the cops are simply being extra careful maybe? You can show him your phone in case of any misunderstanding. You assure yourself as you take a deep breath to collect yourself before walking out.

A part of you hopes that it isn’t his car. A lot of people own a charger and maybe you are…

All hopes are dashed as soon as the car door opens and Officer Thomas Ludlow gets out. Outside the station, with the wind ruffling his hair, he appears slightly boyish, a smile might look lovely on him. Too bad, you know him as a grump.

“I received no texts.” You bite your tongue as soon as you finish that hurried explanation.

You almost see something akin to mirth dancing in his brown eyes.

“Because none was sent. Get in the car, we’ll talk on your way home.”

“Oh. it’s not that late.” 

“I can see that. This is important.” He says, rounding up and walking towards you, on reflex, you take a step back.

It’s like something in you just fails to settle down in his presence. To your surprise, he opens the car door for you.

“Please.”

You feel stupid. He is a police officer who has been nothing but kind to you, maybe not the most polite, but good, in his own way.

“Thank you.” is all you can manage before getting inside his car.

—--

“You might want to be extra cautious.” He speaks up while driving through the busy LA roads.

“Why?”

“We keep an eye on them, they keep an eye on us and you have become a common link. First in the restaurant, now visiting the police station every now and then. If anything, it confirms that one of them had been at least near that place.”

“You mean they fled when you all surrounded me?”

He hums before stopping near a food truck.

“I’m hungry, have you eaten yet?”

You find yourself taco in in his car. He has already packed some for dinner, and by the number, maybe even breakfast.

“You must be a busy man, I mean, the job is demanding.”

Officer Ludlow glances at the packed meal and nods “I barely have the motivation to cook for myself. Besides, it’s quicker that way.”

Oh, you thought him to be married. But he does not seem so.

“You have my number?”

“No?”

“Save it in your emergency contact, I suggest you get yourself a good security system and if anything. I mean anything feels odd, you let me know.”

“I–I don’t think I am of any use to them.”

“You are a woman.”

Annoyance flares within you as you fix him with a hardened stare “So?”

“I’m sorry, I did not mean it that way.”

An apology that sounds genuine and a softened gaze? That soothes you, surely, but you remain annoyed.

“What do you mean then, Sir?”

For a moment, you think you catch something dark flash in his eyes but it’s gone with a faint gulp.

“I mean, they are monsters and women are the usual victims, and targets even—they don’t need a reason, or even animosity, the fact that you are a woman is enough. These people have the record of doing unspeakable things, to men, to women, to little girls and boys.”

That does make sense. In the underworld, there is not a being more exploited than the female perhaps. 

“So, if you have a gun, good, if you don’t, get one. Keep your location on all the time and if anything goes wrong, what do you do?”

“Call 911.”

He lets out a sharp, short sigh at your response.

“Call me, that’s why I am suggesting you save my number on the emergency contact list.”

You nod, the gravity of the situation finally dawns upon you, seems like the casual decision to enter that restaurant has cost you much more than you had thought.

Oh, what have you gotten yourself into?

*****

Thanks to @scarlettspectra's brilliant analysis of Yandere Tom Ludlow, it has been the fuel I needed.

[morgannalefey]

I'm going to try one more time because I'm I dunno a glutton for punishment or something. I don't have a lot of hope, though. My impression is that most folks aren't actually reading everything I have to say and are, at best, skimming. Which, to be fair, is par for the course on this site. For this reason there's a tl;dr at the end you can jump to if you're so inclined. The rest of this post is pretty long in order to explain, but if you don't really care about the explanation and just want to be horrified, go for it.

I'm fifty nine years old. I have been married for thirty six years. Prior to that marriage, I had been with a lot of different people in the 8 years between when I became sexually active and I got my spouse. So I am not inexperienced in either sexual encounters, problems relating to sexual relations, relationships (both long and short term), nor differences in hygiene habits.

In response to your incredulity over people's learned behaviors fading over time:

Habits of childhood can be difficult to unlearn. It's possible to make an effort to change a habit, but then for other things to come up that distract and the change gets forgotten in favor of the muscle memory from childhood. There are many things that I've learned over time that are better ways to do a thing, but sometimes still forget that I've learned a better way and resort to how I originally did the thing. There are many reasons why this might happen such as distractions or having too many things to think about so my body operates on autopilot for some things. If this continues for a while, one typically loses the new habit and has to relearn the new way of doing things. Though it does tend to come back faster than the initial attempt did, it's still a conscious effort that has to be made.

Back to the main point. The assumption I'm attempting to address here is the one where everyone learns all the same basic hygiene lessons and that no one could ever have any reason for not having learned to make sure to wash their privates all the way down to and including the perineum and anal area. This assumption carries a whole lot weight. Here's a partial list of things being assumed:

That they have a parent or family member who has taught them how to clean themselves well.

That the family had water that was safe to wash thoroughly in most of the time.

That the family had the money to pay for the water bills and didn't deliberately avoid certain washing rituals because of the cost of water.

That they had present family members at all.

That they weren't living unhoused for part or most of their childhood, making washing (and especially washing the private parts) less common or safe to do because showers and such weren't always available and washing on the street could get one arrested.

This is a list of situations I can think of off the top of my head that might mean a person wasn't really taught how to clean themselves properly or that might have prevented them developing the habit. It is hardly exhaustive.

Because I recognize that people have very different lived experiences than I have had, when I'm faced with a situation like has been mentioned in this thread, I'd be more likely to just ask some questions or try to have a conversation about it. As I said before, assuming that the relationship was otherwise a good one. No one is perfect and if I threw out an entire, very good, loving, and supportive relationship because of discovering a situation in my spouse's upbringing that was weird and a little gross to me, I wouldn't still be with my spouse. If, after talking with them, it turns out that they're just a lazy, dirty person who won't even try learning a new way to exist in order to not make their partner sick, that's a completely different situation.

Now that being said, I've broken up with a guy because of how he chewed (I could not stand it, his whole family chewed like that. Even the slightest possibility of having to spend my life around those people gave me the screaming willies. Still, I did mention it to him and he was unwilling to adjust how he chewed for me. So that was it). I've broken up with guys because I couldn't stand how they smelled even after showering.

I'm not saying it's not a break up worthy offense to not keep one's privates clean for one's partner. I'd probably be far less inclined to talk to him if he were an occasional partner, not a "boyfriend" but "boyfriend" suggests a certain degree of emotional entanglement that usually means one has put some effort into the relationship. It just seems extreme to not even talk to the boyfriend about the issue to see how they respond and instead to just dump them, but maybe that can be chalked it up to my extreme old age.

tl;dr Not everyone learns exactly the same lessons about washing their privates. Basic hygiene is a skill that has to be taught, it is not instinctive. Not everyone grew up with the same resources, family, water, time, as everyone else. The term "boyfriend" seems more involved than "fuck buddy" and so taking the time to talk to the boyfriend about something that's bothersome doesn't seem like an unreasonable course of action.

[like-tears-in-rain-storms]

Ok just had to share because I've been seeing these people all around and yet it had never happened directly to me.

So, great review of Nosferatu, and I get into A Situation with a person claiming that Orlok is a psychic pdfile rapist of child-Ellen and what's more, the covenant he tricked her into making with him symbolizes a marriage contract,thus Ellen is the analogue of a child bride and a denunciation of the buying and selling of women as brides through history and during that period in particular - also class analysis of how he's a parasite that sucks people dry, yadda yadda, we all know the class analysis. Now that's certainly....a take, and tbh I can see some elements of it sleekly fitting in with the way Eggers structures his themes, but to treat it so absolutely as THE explanation of such an intricate narrative....yeah. I had some issues with that.

And the whole affair ends with that person telling me verbatim, I kid you not, "you should examine why it is that you have a romantic reading on such an one-sided relationship between an undead rapist killer and his teenage victim".

And I'm like....what is this supposed to be? An own? Is it supposed to make me stop dead on my tracks and go "oh yeesh. Why am I romanticizing the goddamn gothic romance????? Am I some kind of monster? A ticking time bomb who'll listen tomorrow about a teen grooming victim of some degenerate and go "yeah but consider that she might have called on him on her dreams to liberate her and spread Covid around"???

To make a long story short, that passive-aggressive urge to self-psychologize with the hint that there's something wrong with myself did absolutely nothing to me,and I can explain it already as I did.

I had a romantic reading because I like gothic romance.

That's it, that's all the answer needed.

But I'm feeling rambly, so I'll elaborate. Because I like sounding the depths of the human mind and will and I like imagining it against powers that defy human measures. Because I like to imagine human nature as a universe, full of it's own destructive phenomena, natural disasters, secret cave systems and toxic geysers. Because in fiction I am free to do so, and can taste flavors that I would never seek out in the real world, like the vertigo of fulfilling the need for self-destruction, or the grandeur of being worth more than the entire world to someone, and what's more, I can acknowledge they exist, and can safely follow them to their logical limits from behind the safety of a book cover. Because on the page we can live out what can't be lived out in the real world even if we tried and because "some things belong on the page, others in life, and it's a blessed fool who can't tell the difference" and I don't know how others see themselves, but I am neither blessed nor a fool.

So needless to say, that wasn't the one it was probably intended as. Really interesting, though, to see such limited-minded puritanism take the stand on the event of Nosferatu coming out. Really interesting how, somehow, they are sounding more and more like crusaders of moral purity for the easily-deceived masses, only now dressed in some righteous "anti-abuse" garb, like abuse in the world will be affected if someone on the internet says that maybe the devouring embodiment of darkness that was rotting alive in the movie had some lasting and fatal effect on Ellen, and it didn't have to be love for it to be defining.

The real question is, why when your limit is the sky and you can make playgrounds out of your mind, do people feel the need to bring everything down to the unromantic, pedestrian and depressive reality that surrounds us whether we want it or not? As far as passive-aggressive urges for self-reflection go, I think that's a much more potentially productive one.

[wanderingglitchly]

Talking about the possible implications/interpretations of the subject matter in “Earth HATES LUNAR?!”

This is intended to be a civil dialogue. I am in no way attempting to attack anyone.

What I want to cover is whether or not a trigger warning should have been added on the video as I have seen both arguments and would like to make a concentrated post on it. (based on feedback/new information being released this post is likely to be edited as time moves forward)

TW for discussion of topics surrounding intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideations/attemps

I would like to highlight that even though I have had these types of experiences with suicidal thoughts/ideations this episode didn’t trigger me as it might have others. I was able to watch the episode fine despite some general anxiety based on my own experience. I would like to mention this as there may be some biases I have regarding the topic and I’d like for people to call me out on it if they see it

The thing that began this discussion was the way Kerian’s auditory hallucinations/projections can be interpreted/compared to intrusive thoughts as the voices were unwanted, and caused distressing feelings in Lunar. (I also first made this comparison when watching the episode)

When Lunar listened to those voices and jumping into the pool, “lying down in it like he wanted to die.” That can be (and was) interpreted/compared to ‘acting on suicidal thoughts’.

However, as was stated by a mod in the TSBS Discord server, Lunar jumping into the pool was not intended to be seen as an attempted suicide by the creators. It was intended to show Lunar momentarily blacking out as Kerian’s powers began to get the better of him.

EC says so himself as a mod provided a screenshot from a conversation they had with him about it due to the backlash

This entire situation can be seen as implication vs interpretation.

The creator explains how Lunar jumping was meant to imply that kerian’s powers are beginning to have a greater effect on Lunar, however the audience interpreted the scene as Lunar listening to the voices and trying to kill himself.

There was an argument presented by a mod and they stated, “If an interpretation is not intended, it does not be warned for ahead of time in the video, title, or description, especially when that was not at all on their minds. By adding a warning, it can seem like that WAS the intention when it was not. A warning can be shared by fans who are concerned about it triggering others, but the media itself does not need to provide one for something that is entirely viewer interpretation. A show does not need to add a warning for blood if someone spills ketchup just because some viewers may mistake it for that. /nm”

I do believe that this is a fair statement. A trigger warning might give the wrong idea as to what is really happening in the scene. It was also stated that the creators didn’t seem to think of it that way. At least when they made the video which is also fair as they knew what the exact context of it is due to them literally making it.

A counter I have is why not specify that it could be interpreted that way. I understand not having it when posting the video due to it not being seen in that context by the creators, but now that it has it might be best to add one.

If a 3rd party source/the creator needing to explain is necessary to understand something in a piece of media then it was likely not executed well.

There is also the limitations of VRCHAT. This leads to these types of a shows relying more on telling rather than showing. With the audience not having any visual indication that Lunar had blacked out, an audible one would have been needed, yet one wasn’t given. This left people to interpret things differently than what was intended.

Overall I am evenly split on this. I think a possible warning on the way the scene could be interpreted could be in order, or an explanation in the episode itself as to what exactly happened to Lunar that lead him to step into the pool and stay submerged. (EC does state in the messages that we will apparently get that explanation in the next video) While I also believe that due to the context being Lunar not actually attempting to kill himself not everyone is bound to see it the same way, and as was stated before a warning like that could potentially skew people’s view of it.

If anyone else has any input on this topic I am more than happy to discuss it more, if anyone has any criticisms for myself I am more than open to listening. I simply ask everyone remains civil as I simply wish to possibly open a mature dialog about the topic and understand the different perspectives on it.

[marsprincess889]

Astrology rant

I hope astro blogs and astro lovers read this

...

Hi guys I hope you're doing well🤍

These months(17 of them?) of running an astro blog have made me see a variety of opinions regarding a lot of things, mainly_ astrology.

I want to say that this is obviously social media and it's barely a solid, reliable place for sharing or getting info, but on the other side of this, the freedom of internet and, at least relative anonimity can produce truly remarkable insights/statements that you won't see anywhere else. You can never know how true or untrue someone can be unless you really read what they've written(or listen to what they've recorded) and take it in.

But it is still so rare for me to find a blog that shares most of my views. I mean, anyone with an access to internet can start an astrology blog. It's so easy to copy and paste articles on the internet and put them here. They can get thousands of notes and people will believe them and share that unverified info that's been distorted through copying and repetition, to others(which is a whole another, very sad story).

And on most days I just mind my business and work on myself, not wanting to even go close to that energy. I might politely comment on posts that seem false to me, just expressing my suspicions or opinions and asking for theirs in return, but to be very honest, I am tired of seeing the same faulty takes and overall approach. So here are some things that, to me, are just ???? so questionable to say the least(with added reasons):

1. Mixing Vedic and Western

In many ways.

Outer planets that are only used in Western? Sure, here are descriptions and "observations" of them in Vedic nakshatras.

Asteroids that Vedic does not look at? Here are explanations of them in nakshatras too. (But there's an exception that I talk about later)

Western composite and synastry aspects? Yeah here is their analysis based on Vedic charts.

And so many more.

It's not a question of whether their "formulas" mix or not, but a question of integrity and of what you follow.

2. Nakshatras in D9(navamsa) and other divisional charts (!)

Whyyyyyy. Just tell me why.

I don't think anyone who uses nakshatras in any divisional chart has really thought about it.

And before they make say to me something like "you should be open minded" or "people resonate with it"(people are complex and can resonate to many things but nakshatras in divisional charts are not the explanation behind that), they should just read my post on my pinned masterlist about that.

Like I'm this 🤏 close to launching an inquisition to just call out every blog who does this, because it's alarming how many people can defend an illogical point with such unwillingness to see the opposite take.

I feel strongly about this one and I kinda judge people who go with it.

There are no nakshatrs in D9 cause divisional signs are hypothetical, nakshatras are actual stars in the sky. Case closed.

3. Asteroid obsession

Look guys, I love asteroids as much as the next person, if not more. And it makes sense for astrology lovers to be really into asteroids, since astrology is mythological already and asteroids open up a whole variety of different mythological associations and, with them, the potential of embodying them.

But here's where most people can reach error: asteroids cannot be holding the same influence/power as other planets.

There are so many posts with lengthy descriptions of asteroid placements in signs, houses or them aspecting planets with sextiles, trines(those aspects don't matter in most cases when it comes to asteroids).

I think asteroids only ever really hold power if they are closely(4 degrees at most) conjunct or opposite big three or other important planets, and important planets/points are unique to each chart. Asteroid interpretation requires realness with yourself and others and, more importantly, common sense. And yeah, you can interpret them in nakshatras ONLY IF they are tightly conjunct an important planet and you have some examples.

I've seen a lot of obsession with asteroids such as Lilith, Aphrodite, Sirene, Groom, Briede.

Yeah online astrology can generate the need to compare yourself to others, which is silly, cause all charts are unique and have a unique beauty, and there's no such things as "more" or "less" unique anything.

4. Making stuff up

Ok here I'm talking about takes that are barely backed by valid examples.

Like when a blog attributes a theme or a pattern to a placement that has not a lot in common with its original association and/or is backed by examples that are not really viable.

Like when someone says: "Ashwini is associated with .......(insert some specific scenario/trope). Examples: *this actor*_ mars in Ashwini, *this actress*_ D9 ketu in Ashwini(are you for real...), *this person*_ their D393747838 Mercury in Ashwini, time unspecified so might be Bharani."

I know this sounds exaggerated(the last example obviously is) but I've really seen blogs where mars or venus or mercury(jupiter and saturn too) are used as exmaples for a nakshatra. And I've seen a whole blog that focuses on D60 ketus a lot.

Now, I think that stems from a desire to associate specific feelings/vibes and themes that they are into with placements that they most likely have, in a way that feels original. But you can't just take vague feelings/suspicions and present them as logical observations or facts, it doesn't work like that😭

A lot of "vibes" or feelings that I had about nakshatras did turn out to be true, but I had to wait to find proof myself, and sometimes the observations can change a little after discovering solid examples and it makes it all clear.

5. Shallow Stereotyping

I know, astrology is built on "strerotypes", but to me they're more archetypes.

A lot of narrow stereotyping can come from more influential astrologers.

This is especially common in Vedic astrology and with people who follow Claire Nakti.

For example, with her, I love how she uses art and real life people as examples but she too can make mistakes. And she has, and if she discovers them, she adds them as disclaimers in her descriptions.

I think sometimes she can be narrow with her observations, which isn't necessarily bad, but when people see those as undisputably true and more important than their own or other astrologers' observations, then it is.

For example, she made 3 videos about Bharani but I still think she missed some important themes because she was stuck on providing more and more detail for the same point😭

Trusting influential astrologers blindly and quoting/paraphrasing them to prove their own points is a real epidemic.

Just fyi, crediting them while proving their point with your own examples is not the same.

So, anyone can make mistakes, and everyone should be open to changing their mind, but never without real examples and proof.

6. Style over substance

Possibly the biggest problem that is the root of most of other problems in this "community".

The reason why astrology became pop is because of simplifications and, more importantly, flashy images and words.

I've already made a post about how harmful I think the irresponsibility of sharing faulty astrological info is. I'm disturbed by all that manic energy around a thing that should be low-pressure but valid and educational.

I don't think astrology is meant to help you make desicions in a direct way, or to be used as the ultimate filter to judge others and look at the world. It's not the end-all be-all truth at all, not at all. But it is something that a lot of people take seriously and I just have little to no respect for blogs that use AI or don't care for logic or facts.

People here can argue and defend AI in astrology😭 they can irresponsibly make contradictory statements, have no verified observations of their own whatsoever and still act like the expert while interacting or posting.

That's all I wanna say about this right now.

...

Comment, reblog, message me, like even, whatever. I want to know what others think about any of this.

[transfemme-shelterdog]

At you, and the commenter in my last ask: I didn't accuse you of being a man, I gave a possible explanation of why others have. Posing as a woman throwing women under the bus has been the purpose of sock accounts before, and I can see why it might lead people to that conclusion

But I suppose if your followers could read they wouldn't be your followers.

But ok, how about media portrayal and murder rates

Or MY trans man husband, who makes almost twice my wage at the same workplace

Or my numerous trans men coworkers, who make a solid $7 more an hour than me and the only other transfem at my work

Or the big plastic barrier they installed to cover the bathroom stall gap when I started using the women's bathroom, when my dozen or so transmasc coworkers have seen no such treatment

But I suppose if your followers could read they wouldn't be your followers.

Off to a very respectful start I see /s

Look, I'd love to discuss each point you brought up, and provide an alternative perspective on things (if your story is even true, as I doubt that your coworkers doing the exact same job, at the exact same workplace, for the exact same period of time, make $7/hr more than you, and if they really do, I don't see why you haven't gone to the labour board as that's a violation of employment law in every country I know the laws of), but here's the thing, if you're going to come into my Asks, and start insulting the wonderful people who follow me like that, you don't deserve an answer.

Respect is earned, not given, and frankly, you don't deserve it, nor have you earned it, pulling that shit.

I truly feel bad for your alleged husband. He deserves better, and I hope he realizes that at some point soon.

[shokveyv]

Ok i wanna make it very clear this isn't being said out of anger or hate but an small explanation of to why some people might get the wrong impression about the Sari x Sentinel art.

Imagine a family friend having seen a child grow up and had been around them through their childhood. So they have seen them grow up.

But the moment they become 18, they decide "This child i have seen as a baby, a child, a teen, I now want to date them" it comes of very predatory. And creepy.

It is in turn, odd for someone who grew up with an adult in their life. To being attacted to them even when they get older. It makes it seem like there some implications on the child's (now adult) side, that don't make it seem very innocent.

Sentinel is millions of years old. He has seen Sari grow up from a kid, to a teen, and now adult.

While yes they are now both consenting adults, but the implications behind this attraction is what is very suspicious.

I an not saying this was what you beleive in or intended. But your audience, esspcially your western audience might get the impression you do.

I also know English isn't your first language, so I hope this doesn't get lost in translation or come across as aggressive. It's not. I very much adore your work, this is the only time I've been kinda taken off gaurd by your content.

At the very least, I think you should change the way Adults sari outfit looks to make it very clear this isn't her teen self. And people's styles and outfits change when they get older too, so you could have fun coming up with that.

Again, this isn't made out of hate or anger. Just an explanation as to why people might feel so strongly about the art.

Thank you for context explanation to the Western view. I think I understand? It struggles though . Sentinel has never been family friend. He is enemy to human, sees Sari as infestation canon.

Canonical, Sentinel Prime few interact with Sari. Doesn't know the name! He never see alt mode [unless I misremember]. In story, not see Sari in ten or more years. On Cybertron ten year later. Sees Sari of her alt mode [it is a robot!] and he wonder who she is. He was not interest in her as organic [not as child, not as teen], canonical. Canon, he hate organic! Why be interest in her? Story, he works to get acclimatize to this organic form when! he learns she is not a robot only. The text you say is implying he has seen her grown. Canon, he did not care about her and did not acknowledge her more than a contamination [he is bad as Megatron MTMTE, wanting death of organic]. He doesn't recognize her when she reveals organic at first [it is how little he has ever seen for the Sari].

Canonically, she still a stranger to him.

Thank you for explaining the hesitation. It seem, there are many people don't understand in Japan, it is common for 10+ year ago, one child and adult meet, but in when child is to become adult, they may cross red string of fate and meet again! It is exposing xenophobia I did not expect. It is okay to misunderstand. It is not okay to insult my culture because one finds it icky.

Distressing, people say I should change her cloth. I not change cloth wardrobe from high school. I feel, I am being shamed. It is humiliating. There is something wrong with me for not changing my clothes... It was going to have her wear different cloth in comic, Sari is fashionista! ^^\ I was so excited to see the wear different dress and makeup cool! The drawing is cover of the full comic

I write about: "In my story, he not know of her robot form. Years later, he sees her on Cybertron in robot form. Wonders, "Who is she?" stalks her for many year until he finally gets the chance to ask more. She doesn't like him because he organic fears [he doesn't know robot-Sari is organic]. She ride with Drift for long time but as she grow, she finds divisive [Drift is become unstable], so strays alone. This is on top of fighting against the Megatron release from Trypticon. Sentinel losing Magnus status humbles him, Predacons become a major threat, Optimus Magnus, Sari starts to understand Sentinel is not as big mean as before. He grows as character. She begrudgingly accepts it

Sari not written to fall for Sentinel. Only recent in writing this story did I see to involve Sentinel [he had recent fall away from Magnus status, Optimus picks it up]. Is ten years of plot before she meets Sentinel as robot version on Cybertron. It distresses to see people calling me pedophile. I work on total story for 9 month.

But, people are not okay to read,s not okay to write character grows, mature, having adventures on the way. I regret writing this story, knows now people don't want to read stories of character beyond canon. The context is too burden on the psyche. I have learned my lesson. I will not write outside of canon again. I am a disappointment.

Sincerely for the explanation, is thanking you. Maybe it is better to keep Japan only release, then. It will be understood there. ? [I pay to have last comic translation to English, I did not want the xenophobia me of the past. I want to be better! but it is not going to be happy for English. I truly this doesn't portray as me hating English speaks].

[sadiecoocoo]

Hazel, Sweet and Dynamic Chp. 5 - Arcane Fanfiction

Summary - While Viktor notices more and more things wrong with Jayce, their relationship reaches a climax

Word Count - 3,817

Full Word Count - 15,469

Read on Ao3

Previous Chapter

Chp. 1

Notes: I wrote half of this in one sitting you guys can live with the typos anyways I'm back in school and need to make the gay men suffer because of it so things will be getting SO MUCH WORSE

The two had held onto each other for what felt like an eternity. It was one Viktor would gladly spend with Jayce, though he wasn’t sure he wanted to delve into why he felt that way.

The only thing that convinced the two to separate was the toll of their physical needs. Both of their bad legs were begging them to move to a more comfortable position. That combined with the two’s growing hunger was enough to do the trick.

Viktor bid Jayce to lay down, to rest his eyes, while he fixed some food. Jayce clung to his arm when he stood, holding him in place for a solid five minutes before relenting and letting go. Viktor hadn’t said a word the entire time it happened, only placed his hand over Jayce’s and squeezed it.

They ate silently after Viktor brought the hastily made meal back to Jayce. It honestly felt suffocating. Viktor thought there was more he should say, something like “I’m sorry,” or “I shouldn’t have gotten mad,” but he couldn’t force the words out. 

He honestly still felt like he was right. Viktor might always be bitter about the fact that Jayce still wanted to leave. If the other man’s occasional glances back towards the lab were any hint, he clearly still felt the urge to work on a way home.

Once Viktor had finished eating, he watched as Jayce only mindlessly picked at his food, pushing the chunks in the stew around with his spoon. Viktor was once again reminded by how much had truly changed.

There had been many days in the lab where Viktor had to be physically dragged away from his desk just so he could meet his basic needs. It would always be Jayce that finished his food first, though he still sat next to Viktor and silently made sure he finished as well.

Viktor was starting to hate everything that had changed. Why couldn’t they go back to that easy comradery that they had fallen into, that silent routine that brought them so much comfort and warmth?

“Viktor,” Jayce said, breaking him out of his stupor. He looked back at Jayce, who still looked like a kicked puppy. It made Viktor want to hug him again and this time never let go. “I-I can stop.” He continued quietly.

Viktor blinked once, twice. He furrowed his brow as Jayce nodded towards the lab, a silent explanation.

Oh. he was offering to give it all up. Just like that. It was what Viktor had wanted, but it brought a pit into his stomach. It would’ve made him lose his appetite if he hadn’t already finished eating.

“I-” He started, breaking off as he suddenly became very unsure of his words. Last time he managed to mess everything up, he didn’t want to repeat that so soon. He steeled himself for a decision that he would likely regret later, that would make him even more bitter with time.

“No, you deserve to go home.” He said, surprising the both of them. Jayce looked down contemplatively, then returned Viktor’s gaze with a confused expression, his mouth open as if to protest.

“This isn’t a world that we could be happy in for long,” Viktor could be happy, if he had Jayce with him. Being alone in this world seemed worse than death, but with Jayce it seemed like a paradise. “After everything that’s happened, we deserve to live an easy life with the people we love.” Jayce deserved it.

Jayce blinked at him for a moment, he looked lost on what to say. He looked down at the ground, picking at his food again before turning back to face Viktor. He smiled lightly.

“Thank you, Viktor.” He said, relief bleeding into his voice. Viktor nodded with a small hum, smiling back at him through his watering eyes.

After the incident, things went back to normal. Jayce noticeably stopped working in the lab as much. He went outside more often, insisting that he accompany Viktor on some of his expeditions.

The two of them were around the bridge now. Jayce looked over at its crumbling form as Viktor picked through a dumpster on the side of a dilapidated building. It probably would have held one of the luckier trenchers, being so close to the bridge.

Viktor found an old child’s toy that had a few gears and screws in it. It would be useful for whenever they got restless, but not for anything more than a bit of tinkering. He put it in the small sack Jayce had sewn anyway.

He turned back towards Jayce, who was leaning on his cane and staring out into the golden city. The shining bronze and pristine white were dull with age and had the same growths of arcane as the undercity did.

Viktor went up to his partner, his own cane clopping against the ground. It felt strange to be using it again, but after his fall and overextension of his bad leg, he found it more difficult to rest his weight on it without feeling sore quickly.

Jayce made him a cane when he had been out. He hadn’t said a word when he handed it to Viktor. Viktor had taken it solemnly and used it as necessary.

“Have you been across the bridge?” Jayce asked once Viktor stopped beside him. Viktor followed Jayce’s gaze. From the bridge, it was a straight shot to the hexgates. If it weren’t for the decay and crumbling of the buildings, it would have been fairly easy for them to go all the way to the top.

“No,” Viktor responded with a sigh. “It never felt right to go without you.” He added. For some reason, he almost felt guilty about it, like he was pushing an obligation onto Jayce.

Jayce sighed and Viktor turned to look at him. The man seemed to have permanent bruises under his eyes, sleeping coming to him less and less as the days went by. His mouth was set in the frown that Viktor noticed more often.

Viktor felt as though they were about to have a conversation. The kind where everything either went horribly wrong or surprisingly right. The kind where one of them broke down into tears for one reason or another.

Instead, Jayce turned his back to the golden city. He limped back towards their humble home, his own cane causing an echo that bounced through the alleyways.

A marionette turned its head to follow him as he passed. 

Viktor and Jayce sat around the fireplace. They had managed to find some wood that would be suitable enough to start a fire. With the lightbulb having finally gone out, and little hope of finding another one that wasn’t completely broken, this was the next best thing.

They sat close to one another, with the blanket around both of their shoulders. It reminded Viktor of those first few days they spent in this world. The two of them had been near inseparable, curling up together at any chance they got.

He wasn’t sure when the change happened, when things got so tense between them. Maybe it was just Jayce having finally realized that he was near cuddling with a murderer who had nearly caused a genocide. He hoped that Jayce hadn’t realized that, or that if he did he didn’t care. He hoped it had been something else.

Jayce had still only been picking at his food, taking meager bites and scrunching up his nose whenever he did. It looked like a genuine struggle to swallow it down. It was worrying Viktor. The days were getting colder and the nights were getting even worse, he needed to eat.

“Is the food not to your tastes?” Viktor asked, because this time he was the one to cook and he had no qualms about guilt tripping his partner into eating. He knew he wasn’t a better cook than Jayce, so it was very likely that he had just happened to mess it up and that was why Jayce was struggling to keep it down.

Jayce let out a huff, a small smile gracing his lips. Those were becoming rarer, Viktor realized. He blamed it on the weather. Jayce had always had a strenuous relationship with the cold, for good reason. Viktor couldn’t imagine how much worse it must be when they were living in these conditions.

Abruptly, Jayce started to cough. They were small huffs at first as he scrunched his nose. Then he started coughing into his fist and trying to clear his throat.

For a moment, Viktor stared. It felt strange being on the other side of something like this. It felt like he was watching himself from another’s eyes. He wondered how long it had taken others to notice that he had been truly sick.

With a blink, he broke out of his stupor. He grabbed the mug of still warm water and handed it to Jayce when he reached for it. The other man seemed to down it in one go, setting it down next to him with a strained exhale.

“Sorry,” Jayce muttered, “must’ve been a tickle in my throat.” He shrugged, looking at Viktor sheepishly.

Viktor looked down at his food before answering.

“It’s alright.” He said softly.

Viktor was sitting at the table, writing in the small notebook he had found around a week ago. It had a couple of pages already filled with various drawings. He had finally given Jayce something to do other than research that wasn’t needed to survive.

He had seemed happier, being able to draw little things. Viktor had even caught Jayce drawing him a couple of times, much to his surprise. It was flattering, and made his chest ache in ways he couldn’t explain.

Viktor enjoyed writing as well, little things like observations of their environment or a few poems. He had banned Jayce from reading those, and in turn promised not to snoop on his private works as well. Though, the urge was still there, and he knew Jayce felt a similar way.

Viktor had been writing down his observations of a plant he had found when their refound peace was broken again. The plant had the same arcane corruption on it, much like the plants he had experimented on with the hexcore. It was scary to think that the device still had so much influence on this place.

Viktor had been writing when he heard something shatter in the kitchen. When he heard the hitching of breath and something falling with a thud.

He sat there a moment, blinking into the doorway that led into the kitchen. Jayce had been making them lunch.

He hurried into the kitchen, practically tripping over his own two feet before steadying himself in the doorway. His breathing was ragged with panic.

Jayce sat against the cabinets next to the stove, shaking and breathing hard. There was a shattered plate next to him, along with scattered ingredients that had fallen with it.

“Jayce!” Viktor exclaimed before rushing over to him and crouching down in front of him. He didn’t react to the call, only sat there, shuddering with each ragged breath. He wasn’t looking at him, more through him, with glazed eyes.

Viktor placed a hand on his shoulder, making the man flinch and let out a sound akin to a whimper. He moved back, terrified of making things worse. He had no idea what he was even supposed to do. He’d never dealt with something like this before.

“Jayce, please, can you hear me?” he asked softly, looking for some kind of recognition. He couldn’t help if Jayce didn’t talk to him and he couldn’t stand not being able to help. He couldn’t just sit there while his partner was shaking on the floor and unresponsive.

He tried several more times to get Jayce’s attention. They all had similar results. The only difference was that Jayce had started to curl in on himself even more, with his hand digging into his hair and his knees pulled to his chest in a way that Viktor knew made his leg twinge.

It was then that Viktor noticed the blood on Jayce’s wrist. The way it was shaking so much more fiercely than the rest of him. Viktor blinked several times, then glanced over to the broken plate.

Blood was on the edges of some of the shards as well.

He turned back to analyze Jayce’s wrist. It was the same that once held his beloved rune, the rune that an older version of Viktor had gifted him to help him discover his dream. It was the rune that had been embedded into his skin and later ripped out when he gave it to Viktor and fulfilled his promise.

During the time that different worries and theories flooded through Viktor’s head, Jayce’s breathing started to get steadier. He was looking at Viktor now, looking as the other man stared dagger at his bleeding wrist. Looking at the blatant concern making his brow furrow.

“Vik?” He asked hoarsely, breaking the other man out of his stupor.

Viktor visibly flinched, but quickly recovered. He sat there with his arms outstretched for a moment, wondering if he still shouldn’t touch. The urge to hug Jayce was so perilously great. It was another foreign feeling that he wasn’t sure whether to loathe or accept.

Before he could make up his mind, Jayce grabbed his wrists and pulled him against his chest. Viktor gasped quietly, sucking in a breath. He placed his hands on Jayce’s shoulders and gripped them firmly.

“Wh-what happened?” He asked, somehow sounding worse than Jayce. He grasped Jayce’s shoulder in a death grip, like if he even thought of letting go, the other man would dissolve through his fingertips.

“I’m okay,” Jayce reassured. And how cruel was Viktor to be the one in need of reassurance? “Just-” He broke off, not yet ready to speak.

Viktor was torn between forcing it out of Jayce, of finding a way to make sure whatever just happened would never happen again, and giving him the time he needed. He bit his lips to keep his endless questions from flowing.

For a long time they remained silent. Jayce’s breathing became shallower and calmer, smooth like the morning shore. All the while Viktor had never felt so high-strung. Viktor was walking on a tight-rope, so precariously that the faintest gust of wind would make him fall.

The wind blew, and he couldn’t resist leaving himself with so many questions. He was a scientist, after all.

“What happened?” He asked again, forcefully this time. He felt Jayce’s shoulders tense, he felt the way Jayce’s jaw set firmly and his chest stuttered with another hiccuping breath. Viktor pulled away to look him in the eyes, though he kept his hands on Jayce’s shoulders.

“It just-” he tried again, pausing a moment before he fully regained his voice, “happens, sometimes.” He forced out, the words biting like a snake.

“What does?” Viktor interrogated. He felt more and more uneasy with each breath. He squeezed Jayce’s shoulders, his fingernails digging into the fabric of his shirt.

“Sometimes I’m reminded of the bad things that happened and I just shut off, I don’t know.” He snapped, not looking Viktor in the eyes. The other man could see them anyway, how they were red-rimmed and still a little hazy.

“What set it off?”

“The smell.” he muttered, nodding towards one of the newt he had been chopping up to cook.

Viktor wrinkled his nose as he looked at its bloodied form. If he really paid attention, he could smell rot. The thing had gone bad, it had probably been stuffed in the back of their small pantry.

Viktor felt a pang of sorrow strike his gut. He let go of Jayce’s shoulders.

In a way, Viktor was still the cause for Jayce’s grief. Perhaps if he had never left in the first place, Jayce would have had no reason to go to the hexgates. And was it not him that left Jayce in that cave to rot for so long? Was it not him that had in some way caused all of their problems?

Neither of the two men looked at each other. Eventually, Jayce stood and went into the living room. Viktor soon heard the ruffling of covers as Jayce decided to rest early.

Viktor threw out the rotten newt, and any others that he suspected.

It was the middle of the night. Neither of them were sleeping, though they were both lying down on their shitty mattress, holding each other tightly. VIktor didn’t think that Jayce had slept the entire half day he had been laying in bed. Viktor couldn’t fault him for it.

There was something dark unfurling in Jayce’s mind. Viktor could practically see it emerging in real time. He ate less. He worked less. He even slept less now. It was all too similar to his own experiences for Viktor to not be at peace as well.

Something was in his own mind too. Something that whispered and taunted and told him to leave Jayce be. It told him that this kind, loving, beautiful man was not meant for him. It told him that he was infecting Jayce with his darkness and would continue to do so until one of them died.

He closed his eyes, willing the darkness away. It would not leave, no matter how far he pushed it away. It was always at the edge of his mind, rearing its head when he was at his weakest.

He had never felt so weak as he did now.

He was accustomed to being weak, to not being able to do things everyone else could. He was used to the days he couldn’t stand without falling, to the days he couldn’t even make himself get out of bed because the pain was so great.

He was not accustomed to being useless. To having to sit back and watch as someone he loved so dearly rotted away. He was not used to having to observe from a distance, where the only thing he could do was place a hand on his shoulder, or give him a hug once the worst of an episode was over. It all felt worthless in the long run.

Was this what Jayce had dealt with when Viktor had been dying? Had he felt as useless as Viktor did now? Did he cry and pray and beg t whatever higher being existed that things would not end this way? That he would still be given a second chance?

They both had been given what felt like a million chances, each they somehow messed up worse than the last.

The first second chance must have been when they first proved Hextech’s worth. How he longed to go back to those first days. To the time when Viktor’s illness was far enough away that he could live in the moment. He longed to go back to something as simple as the Innovator's Competition.

They would never be given another simple life like that again. And it was all his fault.

“What are you thinking about?” Jayce asked, cutting into the agonizing silence. It felt like he had just broken some kind of rule. Whenever they had both been stuck awake they only lied there in silence.

“Why don’t you hate me?” He blurted. He didn’t know the words were on his tongue. Nevertheless, they pushed their way past his lips.

“How could I?” Jayce whispered back.

“I’ve ruined everything. I killed so many people. I left you in a cave for weeks. I’ve been so cruel to you while we’ve been here.” Viktor said, listing every transgression he could in the moment. There were so many more. There were endless reasons for Jayce to hate him, to throw him away like the sump rat he was.

“All I do is make mistakes.” He finished weakly. He looked down at the pillow his head was against. He could not meet Jayce’s eyes at this moment, he couldn’t.

“The times I’ve spent with you have been the best times of my life, Viktor.” Jayce started, his voice so achingly soft. Viktor silently begged him to stop talking.

“The nights spent working in the lab when we could barely talk without sounding like we were high, one of those nights had been the first time I had heard you really laugh. I thought it was the most beautiful sound.” Jayce paused as he let out a small sigh. “Those few times I convinced you to go to brunch with me and you got the most obscenely sweet thing you could find,” stop, stop, stop Jayce had to stop!

“That first time I got you to go to one of those stupid galas with me, and you wore the most stunning suit. It was the dark purple one, almost black, with all the gold accents. All I could think about was that it would have been perfect if you had some Talis red on you.” Viktor closed his eyes tightly. He sucked in a breath.

“The first night we met,” Jayce gently wiped a tear that had snuck its way down Viktor’s cheek, “When you convinced me to fight for my dream with every tooth and nail.” He rubbed his thumb along Viktor’s cheek bone. He couldn’t keep his eyes shut any longer.

Viktor stared into Jayce’s hazel eyes. The eyes that were so sweet, and beautiful, and made him feel loved even though he deserved all the hate that the world could throw at him. His breath hitched, and it suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe at all.

“When you gave me a reason to live.” Jayce finished quietly. It felt like he was saying a vow. Viktor didn’t think he had ever seen the man wear such a bright smile. After days of nothing but small smirks that looked like he was being held at gunpoint, Viktor felt like he was staring at the galaxy itself. He was suddenly surrounded by so much color once again. And once again, the hazel stood out the brightest.

“What are we?” Viktor asked, because it had been eating him alive for the past few months that they had been entirely alone together, and if he had to wonder for another minute he would be devoured.

“Does it matter?” Jayce asked with a huff, “We’re together. I love you.”

Viktor cried then, fully cried. He felt tears track down his cheeks and snot dribble down his nose. He must have been disgusting. He must have been disgusting, but Jayce leaned in anyway.

He was horrible, and worthless, and was the reason everything had gone wrong. But Jayce still pressed his lips to Viktor’s and muttered a million promises that he would stay with him forever.

End Notes: kiss kiss smooch time <3 I'm gonna be real I do not enjoy writing kiss scenes and I cannot write smut so you guys get abstract kisses where your dirty little minds can wander whereever they want to go (or you can be really cutesy with it and give them cuddle time) anyways, things will still be getting worse and I've thought of a bad ending to give them so… (maybe it'll be a grey area ending tho I have a few different ideas) also I'm gonna guess that there are about 2 more chapters left (always subject to change) so yeah :) also fun fact I was debating making this chapter the last one and then I realized that I left so many plot holes and I still wanted them suffer I love you guys so much and you guys please manifest a snow day on friday the weather says it'll snow but my school system is borderline abusive and might not give us a snow day so let's all use the magic of friendship and summon it together!!! (If I sound insane it's because I'm horribly sleep deprived because my sleep schedule is majorly fucked :D) anyways, thx for reading! I always appreciate comments and try to reply to as many as I can <3

[lirri-eats-eyes]

actually going back to this, i only have one disagreement with this post.

"The Grishaverse doesn't seem to have any form of homophobia;" i was conflicted about this because on one hand, this could just be a product of bardugo having to work within our society's already-heternormative standards to give the story structure and make it understandable for readers, but on the other hand, i think bardugo deserves more credit than that. i think there are deliberate instances of the characters or society showing homophobia that add to the story's overall setting.

im going to list some examples here, and then maybe try to analyze why they exist in the end

example number 1:

(bear with me i don't have access to the first book currently) but jesper talks about "flirting with girls" while bonding with wylan, who is more of a stranger that the crows are holding at arm's length at this moment. after wylan asks "only girls?" jesper grins and amends his statement, saying no, not only girls. this could hypothetically just be a product of a society that accepts queerness but where heterosexuality happens to outnumber any other type of attraction, but this could also be jesper testing the waters because he knows wylan is a) a stranger and b) a son of a merch. i think that with the second interpretation we can set up the idea that queerness is generally seen as "less high class" and that maybe those in the crow gang don't really give a shit (and perhaps embrace it as something that seperates them from the upper crust), but wealthier people in power do in fact care.

example number 2:

wylan's status as van eck's heir is pretty important to the plot (and VERY important to van eck). i figure a society that puts so much weight on heirs and family name probably has difficulty being normal about relationships where reproduction cannot occur. although, wylan never "comes out" to his father and we can't see his reaction (and never really displays any anxiety about coming out as much as he displays anxiety about his dyslexia [?] being revealed) so that might be something that discredits this evidence. in any case, even if homophobia doesn't exist in this society to the extent that it exists here, i have not trouble imagning van eck mocking wylan for another thing he can't do (have a biological heir with jesper)

example number 3:

again, an example of how straight interactions are kinda seen as the norm (and again could be written off as them just being more common in this universe). however, the other point that matters is that matthias's society has specific standards for different gender roles. i don't think it's impossible for a society to have split gender roles while also being normal about gender-queerness, but i think bardugo also knows well enough that matthias's explanation of Fjerdan gender roles can be reflected in the Real World. i personally think that we are supposed to read his and the broader Fjerdan values as pretty sexist without necessarily drawing direct comparisons to any specific culture, even though one can be tempted to with the way the grishaverse nations are introduced. that all to say, i think Fjerdan culture, with the way matthias explains it, would not take too kindly to trans people.

fourth example, tw for sexual assault.

example number 4:

this is when inej describes her indentured work at tante heleen's. a man gets upset that he cannot "perform" (likely referring to his body not 'properly' reacting to inej's) and hits her to vent his frustration at himself because he sees her as an object. setting aside the horror of this scene, this implies that on some level, there is shame that comes with a man not being able to have sex with a woman. this could be a high-ranking man, which refers back to van eck's obsession with producing an heir, or this could just be an average man, which means on some level lack of attraction to the opposite sex could mean some sort of shame

those are all the examples i remember. i think it's no mistake that bardugo usually uses examples of straight relationships being expected or strict gender roles to describe the oppressive cultures or people she wrote. i also think it's no mistake that she does not write characters "making a big deal" out of jesper, wylan, kuwei, or nina's queerness; i think this is her using fantasy as the venue for escapism that it usually is, while also managing to tackle real-world issues in metaphor.

SOC and CK allegories for the queer characters (and other thoughts)

I was going to make a separate blog to yell about books but I decided to do it here.

I AM NOT DONE CROOKED KINGDOM AT THE TIME OF WRITING THIS SO EVERYTHING I SAY IS HAVING ONLY READ HALF THE BOOK SO FAR.

The Grishaverse doesn't seem to have any form of homophobia, but SOC and CK are chalk fulllllllll of what I can only see as plots that mimic queer experiences for the queer characters in the main group.

We have four queer characters (that I know of at the moment): Jesper, Wylan, Nina, Kuwei.

So let's start with the obvious, three of the four are Grisha. Obviously not all Grisha are queer, but all the Grisha in the party are. This gives them an automatic plotline of "hide who you are".

It could be said that since Nina is Ravkan she wasn't raised that way, and no, she wasn't. However since leaving Ravka she has been forced to hide for her safety, and not only that but she is frequently told she's "too much" which sounds a lot to me like what some people say about queer people when they think queer people should be less queer. Also Matthias is all about being "traditional" and "proper" and Nina's whole thing is that she is neither. Traditional and proper sound a lottttt like some people's arguments to be homophobic.

Jesper's I think is rather obvious. His father has a clear concern for his son being Grisha since it can put your life at risk. In Jesper's argument with his dad he goes off and asks his dad why did he never let him go to Ravka where he could be himself and learn about himself and his powers. Oh not to mention the fact that him and his dad talk around him being Grisha like it's some sort of virus that can be caught by simply speaking the word.

Kuwei's took a second to hit me but when it did I was like "ah yep, makes sense" and this is probably because it took me a hot second to realize Kuwei was queer. Yeah, apparently him being jealous that Jesper only looked at Wylan a certain way didn't tip me off... ANYWAY THOUGH. Kuwei is also told to hide who he is, but his dad goes the extra length of literally making a drug to help him hide himself. Is it giving anyone else Dorian's dad from Dragon Age vibes??? Blood magic for the gay son???

FINALLY, I will talk about my baby, the character I love more than anything else. Wylan. Here's the thing about Wylan, while I was reading SOC I wasn't sure if homophobia existed in this world yet and I was half convinced that his dad disowned him because gay. While his dad obviously didn't do that, I still think at the end of the day it portrays an experience that is very similar. Wylan is shamed, hidden, and ultimately his dad tries to have him killed, all because he can't read. His dad loathes him over such a stupid reason, especially since Wylan is absolutely brilliant at tons of stuff and the cutest lil guy. But I think it's that hatred of his son over something so trivial that really lends itself to being about something else entirely, Wylan being queer.

All four of our queer characters in the main group have different plots, but ultimately they all circle around the idea of hiding who you are and being ashamed of who you are. That sounds like a very common queer experience if you ask me.

I don't know if this was intentional or just a huge coincidence. As a writer myself I am all too aware of how easily accidental metaphors and symbols can happen. But I think about it a lot as I'm reading so I wanted to shout about it either way. I also have no clue if this is a common idea or not, I just know when I pointed it out to my friends who had read the books prior, one of who loves and reads them yearly, they both kinda went "oh damn, you right," but didn't see it before I mentioned it.

Anyway, if I missed things (or you wanna yell at me about how wrong I am, which is usually the more likely option) I'd love to know thoughts :)

AND BONUS THOUGHTS

This one is super obvious but I just wanna say it. Jesper is ADHD and no one will change my mind in the history of ever. This man cannot sit still, has been described as having limitless energy, and he seeks constant immediate gratification in the form of gambling and adrenalin rushes. COME ON MAN. I know I know, there's a lore reason, something something Grisha not using magic blah blah. No. No. He is ADHD and you cannot tell me otherwise. And I love him dearly.

Also, not a theory or anything but, y'all, I love Wylan so much. I just wanna give him a hug and a lollipop and tell him it's okay. He's so cute.

[animerunner]

Me: Has never had an interest in making fakemon before.

-Gen 10 leaks happen-

Me: Suddenly coming up with a half dozen different ideas for what legendary/mythical Pokemon based on the Greek Gods would look like

[kirby-the-gorb]

[mishy-mashy]

Got my hands on a Ultra Analysis BNHA book from a library

Some points I liked (I focused more on 1B since they don't get a lot of attention)

1B once had a Tetsutetsu BBQ. They heated him up and cooked food on him. He proceeds to ruin it when he declares his sweat is the salt to their food

Yui is canonically the prettiest first-year

Mineta has no sex appeal at all, but he thinks being a hero will make him lucky

Class B does respect Monoma. He's sharp-minded, witty, and has a way with words

Monoma sometimes wanders into 1A's dorm just to throw down a mean speech, and heads back to 1B

Juzo probably isn't helping Monoma's confrontations with 1A, since he just always asks him why he can't say it to their faces whenever Monoma complains about them

Shiozaki tries to be polite even in a fight

Pony hosts anime parties, so 1B knows a lot about anime. Vice-versa, they teach her Japanese, and everything nasty is Monoma's fault

Tokage was a gyaru

Tsuburuaba, Kaibara, and Kuroiro get worked up whenever they talk about girls

Manga likes Kenranzaki

Awase's family runs a small factory. He also restrains Monoma whenever Kendo isn't available

1B likes hearing Rin say "Aiyah", so he does it for them

Kamakiri is obsessed with cutting into things

Class B's play was really successful

Tamaki is scared of Kirishima's energy

1C was planning a send-off party for Shinsou for his upcoming hero transfer. They didn't doubt he would make it, ever since the Sports Festival

Shishikura (meatball Shiketsu boy) might've chosen Shiketsu because he likes the uniform's hat

Nakagame and Yo are dating

Tsuyu's family gets to spend a lot of time together now, since their parents' busy jobs have calmed down

Tsubasa (devil wing kid in Midoriya's memories) suspiciously lost touch with Midoriya and Bakugo in middle school (his Wiki page confirms Garaki - his grandfather - turned him into a Nomu)

Torino likes goofy gags. This rubs off on All Might (ex. when Midoriya thought he died when Torino fell with ketchup. People don't know whether to laugh or be concerned)

Nighteye has yellow streaks in his hair as a homage to All Might

Nezu likes worming into tight, dark places, so he likes Aizawa's scarf. They went into detail, describing why Nezu likes it, such as material to crawling in, etc.

Recovery Girl has to travel around Japan regularly to help people with her Quirk (as in, she uses her Quirk to help them. Healing Quirks are SO rare)

Hojo, Tabe, and Sestuno are kept in the same jail, so at least they're not separated