#but I don't want to go back to tech
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I miss Ireland so much :/
why can't I just live in the country I love. why is the world so complicated
#I don't feel homesick for Russia#even if I do miss it sometimes#and I do miss my friends#but I'm constantly homesick for Ireland#who would have thought#sitting here crying#it's not fair#I need a career that would allow me to live there#but I don't want to go back to tech#eire
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Part of the reason that Republicans are so desperately acting like they will never lose again is because they are deeply terrified that this is their last real chance to win. The big orange dipshit came in and gutted the party of everyone who wasn't a loyalist, which left it full of nasty little gremlins who have gaping voids where charisma and human decency is supposed to go.
They still hold a lot of power, but if we stop them this year the next presidential election may not be the Most Important One Of Your Life™, that's not a guarantee or anything, but if they don't win here and now their future looks grim, this dipshit is the only guy they have left and he's extremely diminished and has his brains leaking out of his ears at this point. We can beat him into the ground.
So that's what we're gonna fucking do. We're gonna break these fucking fash. They will crash upon us and we're gonna break their fucking necks. When they come for us they will lose because they're fucking losers and we have each other's backs which is something they fundamentally are incapable of comprehending.
#We will fight them on the shores in the trenches etc etc etc#I know it's been said before but the people who said it were right to beat back fash for whatever else they weren't right about#Fuck these fucking little bastards who want to rule our fucking lives and destroy our communities#They've got too much power as is and right now is our moment to crush them and take it back#If you're not into Harris fine work to kick the GOP off your city council they're shitty little gremlins there too I guarantee it#(Hell if you're in LA there's two good chances to swap a shitty Dem for a good dem on the council)#But it's time to fucking break their necks and if we do it here the worldwide movement of these fuckers is gonna follow#Not because we're particularly special but because our fascists are pretty large exporters of the stuff#A loss for them is going to shred their party this unholy alliance is already fraying between the fundamentalists and the tech ghouls#Let's magnify that shit for them by making them eat it.#Don't mind me I'm just sick of these fucking ghouls and ready to make them suffer for what they've tried to do#All implied violence in this post is metaphorical ;)
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#i want to go back#retro#hardware#retro tech#vintage advertising#floppy#syncom#don't forget to clean your floppy drive heads
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Oh God poor Robby
He wanted to keep this a small little night but everyone's turning it into a whole ✨thing✨
#I'm seeing this theme developing here of robby wanting things to go back to normal#of him wishing for a normal life again#and that's more of the focus of this episode rather than ''ooooo robby likes a GIRL XD''#oh Robby... we're three seasons deep into this mess. you're sitting in a high tech underground bunker built by your robot sibling#I don't think there's such thing as normal left#though it's totally fair of him to wish for that#s3e2#earthspark spoilers#tfe robby#Is this what it's like having families that care about you /j#that is a joke
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cw for discussing salary and budgeting
i'm supposed to be getting a job offer later this month to transfer into the company I've been working for this past year. and i know i'm getting the offer and it'll probably be decent since i'm in tech at a big corporate bank, but this will set the baseline for my salary and growth potential for the next couple years and I'm nervous. i got debts to pay off, you know? plus i have a male friend who got in last year with fewer credentials than i do and he's told me how much he makes, and i have another male friend whose level of expertise is similar to mine who should get his offer this week, and seeing how my offer compares to theirs is going to set the standard for my opinion on this company going forward.
idk I'm just yelling my anxieties into the void thanks for listening <3
#yasha at work#the joys of being afab in tech#I've been calculating budgets and scenarios in my head#in any case i should be able to start paying off my loans in earnest#plus I've been living on a. fairly tight budget? don't get me wrong I'm lucky and privileged and I don't need roommates which is fantastic#but every euro has a purpose. and depending on this offer i should gain 300-700 after taxes a month and if i keep an eye on lifestyle creep#i can give myself a little more leeway#i still have like 25k in loans to pay off#cw money#more rambling now: i have calculated three scenarios. lowest possible pay according to the CLA; pipe dream pay and middle of the road pay.#if i aim to put 500 a month into my loans‚ then in the worst case scenario nothing changes from now except i save slightly less#in scenario 2 and 3 i get to go back to vocal training. and in 3 i get more little luxuries and i save more money.#and all of these would be fine i just want to know which it'll be!!!#with me hopefully getting on t in the next 4 to 6 months i want to do vocal training so so so badly i am so scared of not being able to sin#SING lmao
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#i wrote the arsl essay really emotionally if it's illogical i'm very sorry it's just my impression T0TTTTT.........#mumblings#EVEN THE SOLLUX ONE IS CRINGE TO ME I CANT LOOK AT IT ANYMORE i'm just glad people who've gotten something out of it can feel#more reassured in their enjoyment of these characters bcs theyre awesome & i like when people think abt them esp in relation to each other#i was so 👀!!! by how sollux detected his relevancy was reduced compared to the rest of the meteor crew and chose to step away with aradia#and since her arc was pretty much finished around the same time as his i rlly love how they complete their jobs then go off have fun#(well sollux is extra funny bcs he doesnt WANT to be a Main Character but mf can't resist adding his two cents backseat commentary LOL)#anw.. idk if ive ever mentioned but i dont care for pale arsl whatsoever skjskj highkey resent the popularity of that depiction but i don't#have grounds to complain since it gives people a reason to keep including aradia with sollux somehow#once again coming from a dvkt background i often saw aradia and sollux entering as a pair so it was wild to switch to slkt and#find out a lot of sollux shippers don't like aradia as much. or at all#<- was scrolling old posts and saw that people have been discussing this same exact thing years ago LMAO the cycle repeats itself#i think sollux should 🥺👉👈 for aradia forever its funnier to think he likes her so much and she's just. occupied by more important things#ANYTHING SHE NEEDS HE WILL COME.... SHE JUST HAS TO ASK. BUT WHAT CAN SHE POSSIBLY ASK FOR WHEN SHE'S ALREADY SO CAPABLE....... HSJAHAA#back when she approached him for tech and research assistance he could feel useful but now. he's huddled in the corner sad puppy#its so ;;; when ppl make him super relieved to see aradia like WAAGHHHHHH SHE'S HERE... SHE'S HERE FOR HIM!!!!!!!!!#sollux wanting to be more important to aradia is a thought i revisit a lot he just wants to know if there's anything there#but he can't pick Just One Thing and regardless of the outcome good or bad he'll always regret screwing it up#in reality its not his fault lol just like karkat dude's got the self-sabotage instinct for things no one holds him against for so. yeh#STILL don't take my opinions as truth gospel alright i'm a fangirl not a meta writer!!!!!!!!!
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i'm pretty sure i've cut all content consumption out of my routine now
i don't mean that in the sense of i no longer consume content, i mean i've managed to remove it from routine behaviour
yes i will scroll instagram but it's not the first thing i do on waking until i get through all the posts since yesterday. it's just something i choose to do when i feel like it
yes i will watch youtube but i no longer go through all videos since yesterday from all the channels i'm subscribed to and watch them all or add it to watch later if i can't squeeze it into the day. this was my most recent success so i'm avoiding my subscriptions tab so i don't fall into the hole and am instead looking up individual channel videos to watch for no more than an hour. when i'm convinced my brain will behave i believe i will be able to scroll subscriptions casually and only when i want to.
this used to cause me such trouble because i genuinely saw these things as part of my routine so i'd be over here like man my routine of consuming content is all messed up because i went out for the day with someone i will need to double it tomorrow to fix it so i'm back on track. or i'd be like kinda wanted to do this today but a youtuber i follow uploaded a 2 hour video so I won't be able to fit it in :/
anyway that was trash. now i think i just have routines around food (3 meals a day) and work/study. Everything else is clean and free. I can do whatever I feel like when i have free time. i feel a little lost now but at least i'm no longer spending hours on content consumption when it's not actually making me happy
#i genuinely don't think i could've just made the decision to cut each thing out until i got to this point#each thing i've managed to cut out of my routine has been done as the result of a routine disruption#like i go away for two weeks and have no internet access#or my most recent one was bc i had a concussion and stayed away from tech for a week#i'm like well i alreayd dropped xyz for two weeks so i just won't pick it up again when i get back to internet access#and eventually enough time will pass that i cannot repair what i missed without putting in SIGNIFICANT effort#so i can approach it again and limit my interactions until i'm sure my brain will behave#every single time i've caught myself going ugh i don't really want to do this but i need to catch up#red fucking flag bro. it's content consumption. it's not that important. it should be fun and enjoyable#it has no place in my routine behaviour. it's welcome to be something i LIKE to do regularly#but cannot be something i find myself needing to do to meet my routine. that sucks#but hey. progress. curious to see where i can go from here#can start from scratch. what will i do with this.#the last week i have only spent time on my laptop to check my emails and do my uni work basically#then i shut it down for the day#that also feels good to me. i don't need to spend all day on it. i can do other things
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Man I just finished Babel and I was excited to read discussions online because there's so much going on in it with so many little things and just....angry white people. Everywhere. Truly a dead dove moment.
#the “you can't trust white people” theme might be a little like...aggressive but gosh you are not wrong#rf kuang#it was such a good depiction imo#it felt so much like explaining to white (or sometimes black) people what the problem is#especially felt like explaining being queer to straight people#i feel like a lot of people have at least a vague intellectual understanding of racism even if they don't see the racism#babel an arcane history#babel or the necessity of violence#also she captured a fair bit of mixed race and chinese diaspora feelings#also also i can see the relationship to the secret history and the fact that this is a rebuttal of dark academia while being dark academia#also realizing i dislike dark academia tbh#just...the ye olde university feeling is not my style#hence i went to engineering school where it had a je ne sais quois that i think is widespread neurodivergence#the good old boys clubs just do not interest me and i cannot really care about their lifestyles#it's not bad mind you it's just not for me#babel however is the exception that made me realize i dislike dark academia#hated the cloisters#got a rec for the secret history and had negative interest in that#i really want more and better depictions of engineering school and like...any similar experiences to what i had#they just do things like the social network where it's still a rich kid good old boys club but now with “nerds” who are just business majors#like the big tech guys of the modern era are primarily business guys not like...building computers in their basement#give me aome barely functional people who lean heavily into being weird once they go to school and they have hijinks like#updating archlinux and giving the other people shots if you get xyz system working again#first to get x11 back? REST OF YOU SHOTS. first to get internet back? SHOTS. sound? SHOTS. window manager? SHOTS.#or like...drama over your roommate not knowing how to do basic adult things like boil water or do laundry
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Starting to think computers are actually the work of a dark and twisted demonic force.
#trying to trouble shoot a pc problem and we've gotten to the point wherein i am considering just ignoring it and hoping it solves itself orz#everything i try just makes things worse!!#i cleared my site data instead of just the temporary files in firefox and now nothing loads so im restarting the damn pc#but its taking. FOREVER. which is always a great sign. if this doesn't fix the page load times (not even the original problem!) im going to#freak out. just completely. because now i have to fix two things tomorrow... i wanna go to bed i don't want to do tech support anymore#im just frustrated and doing things impulsively that are not very helpful. so now i have to sadly sign back into every website on earth#which is very slow and painful because SOMEONE is hogging all my disk#everyone stop hogging all my disk and let firefox load challenge difficulty level impossible#but hey. restarting it did make the pages actually load now. i started this post on my phone and am now editing it on my working pc -w-)b#i am going to have 500 security alerts in my inbox tomorrow lol.#snow blogging
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having to tell clients i'm doing alright when they ask how i'm doing while the republicans are about to control the whole entire united states government
#if i go back to school for sterile processing i can get a straight to residency visa in nz if i get a job offer there#they also want cattle farm people which is basically the only thing my degree would be good for except i don't like cows and haven't#actually worked on a cattle farm before. other plausible options include medical imaging or lab tech things but obviously would need to go#back to school for any of this#also you have to make at least the median wage which is nzd $66000#i'm not sure how plausible it really is but i think it's probably equally difficult to move to most places#also who wants americans......i would understand if every other country had an american ban to be honest#me
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Heya! Hope you’re doing okay ❤️
well, i didn't cry today (and more importantly didn't cry at work in front of everybody) so I'm taking that as a sign that things are getting better...I hope 😅
#suuuuuuuuuuper awkward moment when i just started crying yesterday as one of my employees came up to me#(not one of the ones who went to HR)#and she was like 'uhm are you okay' and then i just told her to ask me what she needed to ask me lmao#god i'm just so embarassed that i cried so much this week#esp cause like. i hope it's not some sort of idk defense mechanism?#like did i just start busting out crying cause oh no my boss found out i'm not doing my job so i'm just gonna cry so she doesn't yell at me#or something like that and then keep crying to garner pity#cause that's certainly not my intention at all#i know i fucked up. badly. i'm not donig the job i SHOULD be doing#and was focusing on things i shouldn't focus on...especially like having my techs do their actual jobs#but that's my fault for not laying down the law#for not training them right in the first place for not giving them the proper expectations of what their job entails#but then they're crying that they're overwhelmed which hurts to hear when i see them disappearing just to come back with a cup of coffee#or talking to people across the building when there's no reason for them to be up there#or sitting on their phones while things pile up to be done#and then like my boss is now jumping in and is going to meet with them next week#and inserting herself and two of my other co-workers into the picture to help#which like yeah i need help. a lot of help. but they all have their own jobs#hell there's things my boss does really i should probably be doing#so knowing all of that and again just feeling like a failure at my job makes me feel even worse#like i'm not carrying my weight for the team--i've honestly never felt i have since i became supervisor#i don't think i'm meeting the expectations as a supervisor#as a tech? yeah i was a BEAST and maybe should have never applied for the supervisor job#and i even already told my boss long term career? def not in management for me lol and if i can get out of the supervisor job i will#but i would still want to stay with my boss and co-workers cause we're all trauam bondeded at this point from this workplace#but hey if the worst thing that comes out of this crisis is me getting fired for not doing my job maybe it'll be for the best#..........that's not making me feel any better though
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Valentin & Mitch | 601/?? | His touch...
#Cyberpunk 2077#Mitch Anderson#Valentin Da Silva#Aldecaldos#OTP: High Voltage#MLM#Screenshot#Virtual Photography#NSFT#👁👄👁👉👈 am I going to get bonked for... Val's bubbly CHEEKS ALL AGAINST MITCHS CROTCH or what#Lets See#from an old set but I really like this pic#I HC that Mitch's cyberarm doesn't have- that much sensors#cause we know that- from what the vet say during his interview with uhhh Regina's 'friend'#after the war was over soldiers had their cyebernetics swapped off with shittier stuff#because of course corpos want their soldiers to have the best tech on the field but then- they sure as heck don't want random peeps#including NOMADS to have some high quality stuff back home- so woosh woosh#so yeh I HC that Mitch's arm doesn't have much sensation#its faded its foggy - kinda like when you slept on your arm all night and the sensation kinda goes back into it#but it feels all weird ??? kinda like that hhgh#so when they're together his left arm mainly serves as a support to prop him up- to pleasure himself or hold onto sheets or bedframe#keeping his flesh arm and hand for Valentin and to feel him- feel them together#tho when his flesh hand is already AT WORK TM he will use his left hand to caress his babe anyway- give him all the love 😩#Valentin still gives a lot of love to his cyberarm cause that's part of him- cuddling it holding it caressing it as he would his flesh arm#but he keeps the kissing and sucking for the flesh fingers 😚🤏 teeh#oh THIS GOT LOOOORE in there oop#about: high voltage
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Btw, re: my opinion that computers are not gonna be able to translate sign languages in our lifetime, it's not that sign languages are necessarily More complicated than spoken/written languages (I truly don't know how you'd measure that but I'd assume they're equally complicated). But video is, in terms of sheer data, much bigger and presumably harder to process than audio. I cannot imagine this happening without *astounding* computational resources which would take far more energy, water, and money than a human interpreter (and, more importantly, wouldn't work as well, at least for the foreseeable future). I assume the computation would happen off site in most cases if it did work, meaning the Internet connection is gonna need to be phenomenal (there is already widespread dissatisfaction with VRS human interpreters used in medical settings because half the time the connection drops). Speech to text, with all the issues it still has, seems like a breeze in comparison to 'understanding' a video.
I also cannot wrap my mind around how a machine would handle depictions. Like, with some practice behind me, my human mind is now able to understand (some) depictions I've never seen before (thank goodness, because there will ALWAYS be new depictions I haven't seen before, bc Deaf people are resourceful and creative), but I don't see how a machine would. That's pure sci fi to me. I also wouldn't expect a machine to do a good job translating stuff it's never heard before in a spoken language (e.g. wordplay, or the way you can sometimes tell the meaning of a new slang word from context, or an uncommon name even), but the thing is I think depiction is a much bigger part of daily life than wordplay is?
#Just wanted to clarify I wasn't like being weird and elevating signed languages above spoken#or i mean. if i still am let me know. it's true that ASL seems more complicated to me than English#but i try to recognize and work around that bias#like of course my native language doesn't seem complicated *to me*. i get that#anyway. I also don't know anything about the tech involved so by all means take me with a grain of salt#But this truly feels like common sense to me#If you time traveled me to the year 2080 and I saw a machine accurately translating ASL into English#My first thought would be 'which ocean is being drained for this right now'#And then 'wtf is the sheer size of this program + the database it's working off of'#I think it's cool to study this stuff. Don't get me wrong. But I don't think we should kid ourselves#It's not gonna be practical anytime soon#All that's without even considering the reverse of translating a spoken language back into a signed language#i think because human interpreters aren't perfect (because the job is hard!!) there could certainly be a temptation#to think that machines could be better than humans one day#but man. do you know what would be a better use of resources for the time being?#supporting hearing and especially Deaf interpreters in their studies and jobs#turns out a great way to improve a human's performance is to give them a teammate#we don't have to jump straight to replacing them with a machine#for anyone who doesn't know: if a particular job requires deep understanding of Deaf culture & deafness & the Deaf community#a hearing interpreter can team up with a Deaf interpreter for much better results#like the Deaf interpreter can interpret the hearing interpreter's signing into signing the Deaf client can understand better#and vice versa#anyway. it makes sense people are excited about machines. but can we stop going around saying 'hey AI is gonna take your job'#for jobs that we don't even understand 🙃#this is where y'all find out that this whole wall of text is directed at a guy who said that to my husband
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Glad to be picking up the car tomorrow. Not glad it's still broken. Glad I can still drive it and hopefully get it fixed. On the fence about the rental situation because the rental has grown on me and I will miss feeling cool when I drive around. Not glad that once the car is in my possession again I have to start calling auto body shops to get estimates.
#it's so much easier when it is at the repair shop because i don't have to think about it#outta sight outta mind vibes#and the rental is....fine. it's pretty. it's too high tech and sensitive for me but it's grown on me#but i'd rather work with it than deal with the broken car#but overall i am happy with my choice to keep it#i just don't want to keep dealing with it#i just want it to be fixed! and done with! and to go back to driving it like normal! but not yet#but it's easier than trying to buy a car
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making ocs is all fun and games until you try to write concrete lore about a nebulous yet core concept that you previously handwaved for the sake of "it's cool if this happens"
#i am Trying. to figure out how archangel resurrects. but i can't see myself using the infinite clones avenue in that setting#and it feels lame if he just like. pops back up again in a few days like hi im back :)#and i don't know whether i want to go with a more magic-based (the wizards curse) or tech-based (the nanomachines son) approach#because both have pros and cons but :( i just feel like its kind of stupid in general.....#most of what ive done with him so far has been from a more magic-based angle (caught by mages and bound to the undying frame)#but i've always handwaved the undying frame part a little bit. like oh he just reforges himself :) kind of like a phoenix or whatever#but How does that work. i feel like i need to have something figured out so i can write about rhinn digging around in his guts#and playing engineer with his empty shell. which would suggest a more tech-based approach for the eroticism of circuitry and machines#but full tech feels out of place in the setting (very bloodborne dark souls inspired) but also i want a million robots in there#for enrichment. but :(#i need to put him down ig. like all other compelling robot characters because he is too hard to work with#see more tags is something that can be so dangerous sorry to anyone that falls for this one simple trick
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