#but I do know there are a shit ton of f-150s from around that year were I live

[spicyraeman]

what kind of truck would hick'zel drive?

Rebuilt 1996 f-150, im stuck between it being in preem condition or the loudest patchwork imaginable tho

also I remember seeing someone say that it'd be called The Red Dragon and im one hundo taking that

[blackbird-brewster]

20 Author Questions

Tagged by @danielleitloudernow TY!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Still accredited to my name? 135. Total works on AO3 that I've written (including Anon & Orphans) -- somewhere around 150?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1.1 MILLION!?!?!??! FUCKING WILD.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Criminal Minds (124). But also have some Thrilling Adventure Hour (4), Grey's (3), and a few other random fandoms where I've written one thing ever.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Caged (Kudos: 635)

The Disposition of Emily Prentiss (Kudos: 511)

I Won't Give Up (Kudos: 441)

A Series of Unfortunate Events (Kudos: 359)

i can't be wrong (to be craving you) (Kudos: 312) OMG I had no idea this fic had that many?!?!!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to every single comment I get!! Since I can't actually reach through the screen and hug every reader who leaves a comment, a reply is all I have!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm, Angstiest ending specifically? I would say 'The Five Horsemen of the Silent Chasm'. (Ends in major character death)

Angstiest overall fic? DEF, DEF, DEF my Jemily saga -- i can't be wrong (to be craving you)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I've written so much tooth-rotting fluff tbrh. Some cute shit that comes to mind:

Quiet Love (Jara Wedding Fluff!)

Always You (Temily proposal)

I Know a Place (Jara)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I get entitled comments sometimes. To which I always reply, because I think it's important for other readers to see how not to behave in a comment section. This recent interaction comes to mind:

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

OF COURSE I DO!!! Lately, I have been writing a lot of smut because menopause has turned me into a 24/7 horny gay. All my fics are Femslash and I also write F/F/F threesomes because I have multiple OT3s 😇

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have written crossovers in the past! Two of my favourites are a TAH x Addams Family one : Beyond Belief: When Family Calls and a CM x Community crossover where Emily and Frankie Dart are estranged twins: Words Left Unsaid

11. Have you ever had a fiction stolen?

Not so much stolen, as I've seen parts of my own personal fanon lore being used in other fics sometimes. Which I find endearing. Me and @otahkoapisiakii have so many Jemily HCs that we often share the same background details in our fics and then, sometimes, readers see these things and mistakenly think they're canon.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep! I've had a few fics translated into other languages. I think one was translated to Polish and another to Mandarin. Also, I think there's one in German somewhere too.

I LOVE when people ask to translate my works! It's such an honour.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

TONS. I think me and @otahkoapisiakii (Phoenix_falls on AO3) have about 6 or 7 we wrote together.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

That's an impossible question. My longest loved OTP will always be MSR. My most written OTP is JJ/Emily. My current favourite ships are JJ/Tara & Tara/Rebecca.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

When I retired from writing in 2015, I left behind a WIP (To Catch an Unsub). When I came back last year, I vowed to try and finish it. I re-wrote a lot of what had already been posted and managed a new chapter even -- but after nearly eight years, my writing style now is far different than when I started out in 2015. So I tied up the cliff-hanger and marked it as complete, because I know my heart isn't in it to continue that one.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I have a really good understanding of the characters, I know what makes them tick, their motives, their insecurities and I think that makes them feel more authentic in my works.

I'm also a very fast writer. Both physically (my typing speed is absurd), but also just being able to bang out 10k in a day when I have an idea.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

NUMBERS AND SELF-IMPOSED RULES! I used to have this thing (I still struggle with it, but less so now) where I'd be like 'Every one-shot or chapter can't be more than 4k words'. Or if it's a multi-chap fic it has to be at least x amount of words minimum.

When I started writing completely for myself, those rules stopped holding me back. Now, I write until I'm done writing. Thus why Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) - Part 3 is going to be around 200k long when it's done.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If I use another language, it's usually French because I at least speak a bit of it and don't have to use Google translate or other horrible tools that butcher nuance.

I have a Spanish speaking character in Part 3 and that made me really have to dig out my limited Spanish speaking skills for her scenes. Which are probably grating to fluent speakers (apologies!)

I think the best thing you can do if you want to use a language you don't speak is to talk to people who do speak it. It helps make the dialogue more genuine.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Bones! During the WGA 2007 strike, I decided to fill the gap of TV hiatus with my own story. I wrote 'She Was My First' (Angela/Brennan) and posted it to LiveJournal (where I was in tons of Bones groups).

Since then, I ported it to AO3 around 2014. And now, it's the most read Angela/Brennan fic on there.

Fun Fact: Someone randomly leaving a comment on this fic last year was the reason I came back to writing!!

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I get this question a lot and I think my answer always changes because I love different fics for different reasons. So here are some of my top ones:

Fic I Love Everything About: Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) (Series)

Fics I Consider to be My Most Important: Head Full of Doubt & Journey Through the Silent Chasm (Series)

Fic I'm Most Proud of Writing: i can't be wrong (to be craving you)

My Comfort Fic (the one I re-read the most): Between You & Me

TAG YOU'RE IT: (no pressure!) @storiesofsvu || @gaelic-symphony || @ellegreenawayslover || @tedwinisconfused || @jenny-from-the-bau || @unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix

[cdfreak]

3? (but also i wanna hear about all of them)

sok 3 got answered already but. since u said u wanna hear abt all of them ill talk abt 2 for ya!!!

2 is Deryn!!! The first one I made, my princess oc!!

doll maker used https://meiker.io/play/11592/online.html

I’m gonna try and tell this in chronological order but i might get it switched up a lot oops

Alright lets stare at the Beginning, with Deryn’s kingdom

Deryn’s ancestors used to rule a kingdom that im too lazy to name. It was underground, in large caverns, protected from the unbearable heat of the Crimson Waste by like a mile of dirt and rocks and shit. Life was pretty epic, they were way too deep in the Crimson Waste for anybody to even think about attacking them, and their Princesses had the power to manipulate & create heat and fire so it was decently easy to keep people and goods cool if they had to travel to different kingdoms as long as they had a Princess with them. Unfortunately, Mara’s ship crash-landed like. right fucking on top of the kingdom and the entire place fucking collapsed. Most of the citizens and royalty died, but like 2 dozen citizens and a handful of royalty were traveling at the time, and survived! 

The royalty tried to lead the remaining citizens and rebuild their kingdom above ground but no one was used to living aboveground and it didn't work at all. Most of the citizens left to other kingdoms or adapted to live on their own in the Crimson Waste, but a handful of citizens remained loyal and a gang was formed. They did their best to lead peaceful lives, but its the Crimson Waste so they had to come to terms with doing bad things sometimes. Fast forward like a million years idk  i don't remember the timeline of spop at ALL. It’s the tail end of the (first) war between the Horde and the Rebellion, and this baby named Deryn is born. He grows up learning to use his princess powers (manipulation/creation of heat and fire, as well as being immune to burns) Deryn’s mother dies when he’s 12. Things are pretty uneventful after that for like 7 years until Sonya shows up and then Deryn starts falling madly in love like the gay bitch he is (Deryns a he/him lesbian). 2 years later, when Deryn’s 21, his dad Pyro dies, and he becomes the leader of his gang. He’s been leading the gang for the past 2 years and he's not actually half bad.

Ok I wanna talk abt his powers a bit. first off i have no fucking clue where his like. magic princess power crystal thing is and im too lazy to figure out an explanation so for now he's got a bag of holding and the crystals chilling in there. His powers make him immune to burns, BUT he can still suffer from dehydration and stuff so while he's better equipped to survive in the desert he's not like. untouchable. also his body heat is FUCKED UP. he can control it because heat manipulation but the default is like. 150 degrees F (65.5 C) he doesn't get sick often because of the high body heat but when he encounters some weird desert virus that's adapted to extreme heat and he gets a fever? he's sitting there like

(art credit)

i mentioned in this post that hes got MAJOR beef with the horde and with the rebellion, allow me to explain. he values freedom above almost everything else and is a bit of an anarchist so he fuckin HATES the horde. Hes got no problem with the original rebellion, in fact he admires them for trying to defeat the horde, but he hates the new rebellion because they're teaming up with she ra and the old she ra (mara) destroyed his kingdom and killed a fuck ton of his ancestors and his ancestors’ citizens so hes got major beef w/ she ra

he wears the horde belt as a trophy cause he got it off a horde soldier he defeated in battle, and he wears she ras colors as a “fuck you weird magic tall lady MY colors now” thing. also the horde belt makes sure people know he isn't part of the rebellion and the she ra colors make sure people know he isn't part of the horde

ok personality time. this is mostly me projecting. he gets mad a Lot and is not good at coping with anything so he deals with the incredible amounts of trauma he has by just kinda. Thinking Hard until he gets really pissed and then he goes off into the desert and shoots giant columns of flame everywhere. hes bad at expressing emotions so sonya thinks hes kind of a massive dick for a while but like once they get close enough he feels more comfortable joking around and shit and she realizes oh hes not an asshole he just needs intense therapy.

hes very close to everyone in the gang, since they're all either like a parent figure or a sibling figure or some shit. Lewis (camp cook) is like a father to him (lewis is just very dad like in general and also Pyro and him were kinda dating for a while up until pyro died), Cordelia and Kaz are like his moms. Zero and Zusk are his little bros!!! and Ziri’s (bird lady extraordinaire) a bit of an older sister yknow?

i cant think of anything else 2 put but if i do ill rb!!!

[prorevenge]

Do you know what chuck Barry said ever night before counting 1,2,3,4?

I work in the IT field, and for years I worked for myself. This was during the early years some time ago. I only had about 2 years worth of professional experience at the time even though fixing and rebuilding machines had been my thing since child hood. So I reckoned I'd start doing contract work on my own. This went well for some time, and eventually I partnered with a few people and started a company. We had many clients and return business, things were going well.

We had one big client who resold PCs and Laptops online and in a storefront. We were his "refurbisher". Now there was a massive "grey" area with this client. In that they would purchase machines from dang near anyone, and it was pretty obvious that some of these systems didn't come from the most reputable of sources. However, they paid on-time, and over the course of a year we had no major issues, so we overlooked some things. Typically we would refurbish around 10 or so laptops, and maybe 4-6 desktops at a time. We would perform pickups at night around 9 or 10 pm at what was essentially an illegal gambling room they also ran. Now when I say gambling room, I don't mean a few machines, I mean several tables with games starting with a buy in of $500.00 US and up to $25,000.00 US! On some nights you'd walk in to see local politicians, constables, sheriffs, etc on the tables. It was clean, it was quite, and it had been there for some time. We did some work there as well, but for the most part, If we weren't directly involved in it, we turned a blind eye to what he was doing. No one was getting hurt so meh.

So enough of the back story, here comes the incident. We would work for as many days as we could straight making money, so on an off day I get a call from said client asking for a really late pickup after midnight that he wanted all wiped and reloaded and back by Monday night (it was Friday). I pull myself away from my gaming session and beer, hop in the car and go to make some money! I get there and his estimate is off, there are more machines than he originally stated!

I'll me $Mekio and he will be $TOD (that one dude).

$Mekio: Soooo... That's way more than usual.

$TOD: Is that a problem?

The stack it was big! There were at least 50 laptops, and maybe 30+ desktops, and several servers.

$Mekio: Don't get me wrong, I can do it, but it won't be by Monday. Lets say Wednesday. Also, I'm going to need some help loading these. You do realize how much this is going to be right?

$TOD: Of Course! Have I ever NOT paid you?

I think ok, and pull out the contract and add up the machines for the estimate. A few things to note. Our prices on wipe and reloads at the time was the set in stone.

$90.00 for a Desktop

$125.00 for a Laptop

$190.00 for a Server

Essentially, $2,700.00+ for the desktops | $6,250.00+ for the laptops, and around $1,330.00 for the servers. At the end of the day, We invoiced him for around $11,000.00 US for labor and time. A few parts were needed that added to the final, but he signed and off we went. Wednesday comes around and I finally finish loading my last Dell latitide D600, and repack all of these items in my truck (filled the back bench seat, bed, floor and passenger seat to get these all back!) I make the calls needed and drive down to meet him at his house instead of the room for some reason at his request. I pull up and walk to the door with 4 machines. 2 laptops in bags around my neck, and 2 desktops under my arms. I knock and he opens the door and takes the machines.

$Mekio: Alrighty, here's the invoice. If you'd like to settle up, I'll go grab the rest of the stuff out of the truck.

$TOD: This is more than usual.

$Mekio: Yeah, there are more machines than usual.

$TOD: You didn't tell me that.

Now I have been called a lot of things, and non informative isn't one of them. I tend to explain things too much, like hammer them in. It gets me called an ass hole a ton, but at the end of the day you know what's on my mind and what I mean! Also it is important to note that I had an iron clad non payment section in my contracts! 90 days for payment in full, after that, I would sell off items to recover what was owed, and send you a check for anything over along with any additional items left. Clearly TOD had forgotten about this.

$Mekio: TOD, You know that, my contract is blunt and obvious and I don't hide anything. This is 4 or 5 times what you usually have us do a month, of course it costs more. You already singed as well. You get where I'm going with this right?

$TOD: Get my equipment out of your car! I'm not paying this. We can discuss this inside. Unload first.

I was dumbstruck, but again... I'm also an Ass Hole! I asked him if he was sure this is how he wanted to proceed? He just walked off leaving the door open. So I walked back to my truck, and left! Id din't close the door or anything. I got back home and unloaded all of the equipment again, and added the mileage from the trip back to my invoice. In my eye, he wasted my gas, and time, I was going to bill him for it. I then placed all of the equipment in my office, grabbed a beer, and played much WOW! A few days later TOD called.

$TOD: Where is my equipment? You can't just steal it. Bring it back now!

He was highly upset and I assure you I am missing most of the "colorful" words he used.

$Mekio: All you have to do is pay your invoice. Also I'm billing you for the wasted trip, so the invoice is now $25.00 US more (TOD is NOT close to my house/office).

$TOD: I'll sue!

$Mekio: Tod, look at that contract. Page 3, second paragraph. The section called Non-Payment.

$TOD: You're contract isn't legit! You're what.. 15? F*** your contract!

I will never forget being told to F my contract. I had the biggest shit eating grin on my face at that moment. You see I had learned about that section of my contract from another guy I had worked for when I was 19. It has been in my contracts ever since.

$Mekio: TOD... If my calculations are correct, you have 87 days left to pay your invoice in full before I start to recover my losses. Have a nice day TOD.

And I hung up. Not worth it getting into a shouting match on the phone. Contracts are contracts. You live and die by them. The next few weeks were filled with nasty emails from TOD, with replies from me that were essentially countdowns tot he days of "Recovery". The final 10 days I sent an email daily counting down. None of them were answered. 90 days came and went, and I was debating what I would sell, when I got my last call from TOD.

$TOD: You ready to stop this dumb shit and give me my equipment?

$Mekio: Are you going to pay your invoice? All of your stuff is still here technically. (I had claimed a laptop for myself, a little 17" emachine that I liked.)

$TOD: I'm not giving you a dime! I pay your bills. I make it so you can survive. Who else will hire you little boy?

The rest of his rant went dark! Mixed between the bouts of "I'm a big man" to the random fits of prejudice and bigotry, I had had enough. I put the phone down while he continued to yell, and started doing math. I had my invoice total. I started calculating what I needed to sell each component for to make what he owed to just me!

$TOD: Hello?! HELLO!!! Are you still there, if you hung up I swear I'll..

$Mekio: I'm still here TOD. I'll send you a check!

I hung up the phone with the biggest evil grin on my face. See what TOD did not know is that I was good at my job, and in the past 9 days I was killing it with small companies. I decided to become the small business angel. I sold machines for next to nothing! I was selling 700 dollar laptops for 150 dollars. The servers were gone in a week to 3 different companies. The desktops in the same length of time, and I sold those laptops like a crack head at the barber shop. I always had at least 5 on my to sell for dirt cheap. It took a little over a month, but I sold everything save for 5 machines which I sold to myself for a dollar each! At the end of the day, my invoice was paid. And I sent TOD a money order for just over 3 dollars!

(source) (story by mekio_san)

[rannts]

#2

What is wrong with the American health system? A shit ton is wrong with it. 

As of right now, I have had bronchitis for a month. An E N T I R E month. I got sick on September 15th,2020. I got tested for Covid after a customer at the gas station I work at threatened to have the store reported to the health department because I was coughing. How fair is that? Don’t even ask me about it. But something else that is fucked about the entire situation was that I worked 4 days in a row (it’s only a part-time job so that's really weird for it.) and my boss knew I was sick and needed to go to the doctor. But after working 9 hours each day while sick I wanted nothing more than to go home and go to sleep. 

After 4 days of working while sick, I finally went to the clinic at my local Kroger. My covid test came back negative so I went back after about 3 days. There I was diagnosed with a minor sinus infection and bronchitis. I was given Amoxicillin and an inhaler. With my insurance the amoxicillin was two dollars. But the inhaler? That shit was 50 dollars after my insurance. I had to pay 50 dollars in order to breathe with any sort of regularity. 

In the past week, I suddenly got worse. I would wake up twice or three times a night unable to breathe. I was wheezing and coughing and overall having a shitty time. So I tried to go back to the Kroger clinic and they wouldn’t see me. They told me to go to an urgent care center because of the breathing difficulties. So that's what I did. There was a threat in my symptoms of having developed pneumonia. So I went home and had my mom take me to an urgent care facility. 

At the facility, I had my vitals taken and my chest x-rayed. My O2 level was 85. Now, to put that into perspective, my grandmother was a smoker for almost her entire life. She once had pneumonia while also suffering from lung cancer and being a smoker. Her O2 levels during all that never dipped below 95. Yet there I was, a 20 year old that has never smoked or had any sort of breathing problems such as asthma, sitting on a medical bed with my blood oxygen rate well below what is considered healthy and safe. Yet, my nurse didn’t even bat an eye. 

While my x-ray was being processed, a nurse practitioner came in and listened to my breathing. he said and I quote, “Are you an asthma patient?” I said, “no.” To which he replied, “Well, you're missing out on a good chance to be one.” (It was definitely one of the most asshole things he could’ve said. Yet, I loved the guys morbid sense of humor.) 

Anyways, he had me do a breathing treatment with a vaporized steroid. That shit tastes nasty and you can taste it for hours. After that a nurse gave me a steroid shot. Didn’t do a good job considering she wiggled he needle around and left a bruise at the injection area. My x-ray showed no signs of pneumonia yet here I am, still on an inhaler, and now I'm on a new antibiotic and a steroid. Not including all the normal over the counter pills and medicine I'm taking to get rid of this shit. 

What I want to know is why it took a month to get actual proper (Can I even call it proper since they didn’t seem all that professional?) medical attention to something that should've been knocked out in a matter of two or so weeks. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Its infuriating. Especially when I have spent well over $150 just in medicine alone and it has done almost nothing. Not to mention I had to pay $75 at the urgent care facility since I didn’t have a copay with my insurance. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been seen. America’s healthcare system is f u c k e d. 

[chriscanwell]

If you’re asking yourself whether or not social media destroys relationships, then you’ve probably found yourself in a difficult situations thanks to Facebook or Instagram.

How Social Media Destroys Relationships

Social media is used for stalking

Social media creates more jealousy

Ex lovers can easily find you and create problems

There is no privacy and your sins can haunt you

You can never leave the past behind

Before we get into how social media destroys relationships, let’s take a look at an email from a reader who is experiencing the harsh reality of social media himself. My response can be seen below in bold.

Note: all names and personal information have been changed for privacy reason.

Hello, Chris. Well, i have to say, for starters, that I brought all this mess upon myself...I cheated with another girl last year (before I was serious about my current relationship) and my fiancé found out about it. I met my fiancé Katy in 2016 and casually dated, until we seriously became exclusive around the end of that year. 

When Katy and I became more serious, I began drifting away from Liz (the other woman), and began spending tons of time with Katy. Liz was a friend who i was occasionally messed around with. Katy and I fell in love, and we were building wonderful memories together. We were supposed to get married this year, in fact I am not sure if it’s going to still happen. 

Anyway, before I felt serious with Katy, I had fun with Liz last year, the last time was toward the end of last May, at which point, I genuinely felt a great, huge, sense of remorse and guilt, and told Liz that I am done and that I can’t see her anymore. 

Well, fast forward a year later and Liz finds out about Katy via Facebook. She must have done some snooping around and found pictures of me and Katy on Facebook.

Facebook is nightmare made real. Any form of privacy is instantly eroded the moment you use Facebook, and you won’t be able to get it back completely until you deactivate your social media account. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen relationships destroyed by Facebook or Instagram. My advice is to get off Facebook and social media—it creates more problems and gives little benefit in return. 

Unless you’re running a business, social media is a net negative in the world as opposed to a net positive.

So, Liz calls me, extremely upset, saying that she found out about me being engaged. I was engaged to Liz back in 2015, we lasted four months until i broke it off with her... I was not in love with her), which i felt it wasn't any of her business to know about Katy, we were not even a couple in a relationship). Again, it’s worth repeating. I only fooled around with Liz because I wasn’t in love with Katy yet. The moment I fell in love with Katy, I broke up with her. 

I don’t judge. You have to follow your heart and it sounds as though that is what you did. It’s also none of Liz’s business you’re right, and it has nothing to do with her if you’re in a relationship with Katy. You didn’t make any commitments to Liz after you broke up with her. You didn’t get into a committed relationship with her.

By this time, I am feeling a lot of anxiety, panic, and fear, because i am sensing what Liz threatened me with is going to come to pass. Liz begins to drop subtle text reminders that she is doing her best to restrain the hounds-from-hell, from unceasing the truth... she is telling me that i better tell Katy the truth... I’m feeling extreme fear and pressure at this point 

I’ve been in similar situations myself and seen thousands of other men placed in situations like this. It’s brutal. What starts out as an innocent bit of fun between to consenting adults, quickly spirals out of control and becomes a living nightmare. 

Liz was fooling herself into thinking that she would eventually get together with you. When she realized that you weren’t emotionally invested in her and were more into Katy, she decides that if she can’t have you, she’ll burn you to the ground. Like a lot of scorned women, they’ll destroy themselves and destroy you in the process.

So, anyway, Liz calls me, asks the question why, how come, why didn't you tell me you got engaged to Katy. 

That is when I put my foot down and really backed off and blew Liz off. Now, I am really focusing on Katy, and going full steam ahead with our wedding plans, then, I begin to received text messages from Liz that it was not fair to Katy or her, that I kept Liz a secret, while messing around and two-timing Katy, and vice-versa. 

Liz begins to tell me "man, i never saw this coming, i hope you do the honorable thing, the right thing, and tell Katy about me, because you can not have secrets in your marriage. 

It’s not her marriage and it’s none of her business. Telling Katy is NOT the honorable thing to do, it is the cruel thing to do. 

Women often have this stupid, immature belief that honesty is the best policy in all situations—it is not. 

Honesty can be cruel and unnecessary, as it would be in this situation. Katy doesn’t need to know about your past (mistakes) with Liz because you are now 100% committed to Katy and you changed the way you feel about her. 

But I know you will because you are a stand-up guy, and you will tell her. By the way, I have friends on Facebook who are very upset at the fact that you cheated on her with me, and they want to tell Katy everything, but since i care about you as my friend, I'm trying rrrrreallly hard to keep them back, i'm telling them that John will take care of it. So you better do it soon...). Liz would love nothing more than to see things disintegrate between me and Katy.

Ever seen that movie Fatal Attraction? This is what this is beginning to feel like. Liz is loading on the threats here. Just because she can’t see you anymore, she’s decided that she will destroy you if she can’t be with you. 

Her friends couldn’t give a shit what you did, it’s all her. She’s not holding anyone back, she’s holding herself back.

Well, i am just hoping that she is blowing smoke and will not tell Katy anything, but it didn't happen that way. 

There is no way that she is blowing smoke, she can’t help herself and she will do something to try and destroy your happiness. Misery loves company.

On the day Katy and I were out looking at curtains for our new apartment, Katy receives a message on Facebook from a woman whom i do not know who it is, telling Katy about Liz and me, I felt that i could have died at that very moment. 

The message is from Liz (using a fake account). Same thing happened to me. Same thing has happened to a lot of guys I’ve dealt with. She isn’t going to directly do it from her own account because she doesn’t want to be seen to be that cruel or nasty, but she is. 

She is the only one with the motivation to do it. No one else is going to care enough or be that mean to send such a message and try to destroy your relationship.

The look on Katy’s face was so painful and devastated, she turned to me and asked if this was true, that if she was gonna stand up for us, she needed to truth. 

Let me say, I knew of two things from the beginning of us courting, that we deal breakers for Katy, and one of them was cheating. I had to tell her the truth....and she said "you son of a bitch, i gave you everything" and left me. 

Now, we did talk the morning after, and this only lead into us talking about our mess, or my mess. Chris, she is devastated, crushed, i had everything a guy could ever want in a woman, she was great, is great. She gave 150% of her time, resources, family, friends, everything, she looked up to me and was so proud of us. She blasted pictures of us and our vacations all over Facebook, Chris, i absolutely am crushed! 

Again, Facebook is evil. This would never have happened in the age before social media. Liz would never have known about Katy and she would never have gotten her contact details. 

I really feel for you man. This is a difficult situation to deal with. Liz truly f#@ked you over. What’s worse is that she knew her actions could destroy your relationship and that’s why she did it. She didn’t want you to be happy. She wanted to ruin your relationship to make herself happy.

The best way to approach this is to let her know that, yes, it happened. It was a huge mistake. The reason why Liz got mad was because she realized that you were 100% committed to Katy and that you didn’t want to see her again. 

Also, tell Katy that Liz just wants to destroy your relationship because you wouldn’t see Liz again and you had no feelings for her. 

Tell her that, yes, you cheated. It was just sex, no love, no emotion from you. Also, you must tell her that you weren’t 100% committed to her before this happened, but the moment you fell truly, madly deeply in love, you cut Liz off.

Chris, i am terrified that she will only ask the questions, so that she can walk away. She even told me that she wanted to know why, so that she can have closure.

She wants closure on this issue, not you. She loves you and she will try to save the relationship if she can. But it’s going to be a tough one to get through, I can’t deny that.

For now, don’t call her, give her space and let her come to you when she’s ready to talk. Even though it’s going to be tough you have to make sure that she is the one who is reaching out to you to talk about this issue. She will definitely continue to reach out to you.

And now, she wants to ask more questions, but i am so scared to face those questions. 

Conceal the hard truths. You don’t need to tell her everything. Keep it low-key. Omit all the details that she doesn’t need to know. Breast fondling, kissing, whatever it is, don’t go into the sordid details.

 I have already tried a couple of times to beg her to believe me and plead with her to meet me so that we can calmly talk about all this, and work on saving us. What do you think, Chris? 

Stop begging her. Even if you cheated on her, you mustn’t keep apologizing for your mistakes. If you do, she will get turned off by you and pull away. 

Fixing Social Media Damage

You must have an attitude of indifference and be strong here. Tell her that yes, you cheated, you never wanted to hurt her. But to you it was nothing, meaningless. 

You have no feelings for this other woman. Tell her that the moment you fell in love with her and knew it, you were 100% committed to her. 

All she needs to know is that you love her, not the other woman. No more begging. No more apologizing. No more trying to plead to win her back. 

Tell her that you understand she needs space and it’s also a shock for you because you thought you left this other woman behind and had moved on. 

Tell her you respect her and will give her the space she needs to heal and if she can find forgiveness, you will be there for her.

If you do this, she will come back and she will forgive you. But she will never forget what you did and she will keep talking about it for as long as you’re together. There is, unfortunately, no way to avoid this. 

If you cheated on a girl once, she will remember forever and she will throw it back in your face whenever she is upset with you or you make a mistake. 

It doesn’t mean the relationship is over, it just means that you’re going to have to listen to this issue being dredged up as long as you stay in a relationship with her. 

Even if you marry her and you’re with her until death do you part, you will hear about it 30 years from now when she’s upset with you. 

That can’t be avoided, it just comes down to the way that women process memories and emotions. 

Any time she feels a negative emotion about you, it will trigger a negative memory from the past. 

You’ll be wondering why she keeps brining it up, but don’t let it affect you. Once the issue is past, move on and don’t let it rattle you anymore. 

The only thing that will destroy you and the relationship here is your anxiety and fear of losing her. 

That’s why I say, if you’re going to cheat, only do it when you’re not scared to lose the girl, then you will have nothing to worry about. 

I can tell you that I’ve been in this situation a couple of times and I’ve got the girl back every time. The reason is because I didn’t apologize to excess and I owned my actions and behavior.

Social Media Kills Love

Also, get off social media because these platforms really do cause more problems than you can imagine.

I’ve seen so many relationships derailed and destroyed by jealous partners, scorned women, and bitter ex girlfriends—all thanks to social media destroying relationships.

It’s now my belief that social media is toxic. Social media is a breeding ground for jealousy, narcissim, revenge and toxic behavior.

There are some benefits to social media, especially if you’re running a business. 

Other than that, social media will do nothing to improve your life and it can put you under tremendous threat and stress if you make a mistake.

My advice is to shut down Facebook above Instagram. Facebook is more intrusive and potentially hazardous.

Instagram can still cause problems if you’re not careful and you haven’t screened every single one of your followers. 

If you live a clean life, social media will still intrude into your privacy as it continues to collect data on you. So, it’s good to be aware of this and be careful.

If you are flirting with danger, like the reader in the email above, then I advise you to shut down the majority of your social media accounts and upgrade your privacy settings.

It will make you more mysterious and a challenge if you are only on one platform, posting less frequently. 

*Prevention is the best cure. The reader in this story could have avoided trouble if his security settings had been locked down on his account.

If you have any “troublemakers” in your life who could potentially sniff around and cause you damage, remove and block them from social media.

Social media is becoming an increasing problem in society. 

There is no hard data to support the effects that social media has on relationships, but I can tell you, from the amount of situations I deal with on a daily basis—the majority of problems these days stem from social media.

You have been warned. Social media does destroy relationships.