#but I didn't know where to split the post

[purplereina11]

New Signing, New Beginning Part 3!

Mia Larsen was Barcelonas new summer signing

Alexia Putellas is a club legend who just can't seem to talk to her

Alexia walked into Zara, if she was honest she wasn’t looking at any of the clothes, she was wandering around eyes peeled for one thing, or one person only. She smirked to herself spotting Mia, she wandered over hoping Mia would see her before she got to her but she was too engrossed in the tops she was looking at. Holding it to herself then away to look at it then back onto herself.

Alexia stopped behind her and spoke softly, “Hola”

Mia turned and there was Alexia with a smile, she couldn’t help but match, “Hola”

“Surely there’s nothing left for you to buy in here”

Mia looked like a child who’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t, “They got new lines in” Alexia actually giggled at her, Mia smiled as Alexia aimlessly followed her around the store giving her opinion on items she was picking up. Mia rose her eyes in the mirror as Alexia hovered behind her looking out into shop as she held a skirt up to her waist, “You not looking at anything?”

Alexia whipped around to her, their eyes meeting through the glass, “Um.. i got distracted”

Mia lowered her head to look at the skirt again, “I can see that” Mia put it back on the rail.

“You not like?” Alexia asked she furrowed her brows as Mia came back towards her. Alexia liked that one.

Mia shrugged, “Not sure”

“I like it” Alexia said as Mia breezed by her as she did there eyes met, “Was cute” Mia simply laughed at her as she kept moving, “Que?”

Mia shook her head, “Nada” she turned, “What do you want to look at?”

Alexia motioned, “I’m watching how it’s done”

Mia smiled motioning to Alexia as she walked backwards Alexia dutifully following, “La reina del futbol” she motioned to herself, “La reina de las compras”

Alexia nodded laughing, “Si, you are the queen of shopping” They went amongst the racks Alexia walking behind like a boyfriend being dragged along and naturally they talked football, about the training sessions. The aimless steps of their feet took them towards the exit after neither had anything to buy. Mia wouldn't be adding another shopping bag to the few she already had.

Alexia swallowed as they left the store, she had a question she wanted to ask, but she was worried how she’d react to either way Mia answered it. “Are you going home now?” That wasn't it.

Mia nodded, “Yeah, i’ll get the bus home” Mia was looking towards the near by bus stop to see which bus was waiting

“You no drive?”. Neither was that. Alexia was confused and it made Mia smile when she looked back at that written all over her face.

“I can drive.. I’ve just not sorted a car yet”

Alexia had gotten distracted neither of those were the question, “That your bus? Was going to see if you wanted to go for drink?" There it was, Alexia noticed Mia didn't answer within the split second chance she gave her so padded the question out, "You know because you drink afterward with Ingrid, it’s your routine”

Mia felt warm with the Alexia babble she was on the end of, she knew she wanted to ask the question, got nervous and had to add the end as buffer, she could feel her nerves radiating off her, mainly in just the way she was holding herself. She did try to justify her question. Mia would have gone if she’d simply asked the question alone. “Si, let’s go have a drink”

“Your bus?” Alexia pointed

Mia shook her head and the lie just spilled out, “No.. my bus probably will be at least an hour yet” Mia smiled at Alexia, “Where we going then La Reina”

Alexia playfully rolled her eyes shook her head and silently began walking.

Mia's Instagram story was posted before Alexia's who had waited til she got home to post hers.

“Oh wow” Mia spoke amazed at the view as they stepped out an elevator onto a rooftop, “How stunning is that view” the smile crept onto her face as she admired it

“Si.. go find a seat i’ll get drinks” Mia looked to Alexia already distancing herself towards the bar, “Sangria?”

“I’ve never had Sangria” Mia scrunched her face slightly then pulled her lips in between her teeth at the great disappointment that washed over Alexia.

“You have Sangria now, go sit” Mia laughed to herself when Alexia waved her away, Mia always thought disappointing Alexia would bother her, maybe it would in a football setting but here, sitting with a beautiful view, it amused her.

“Gracias” Mia spoke softly when Alexia finally came over with the drinks. Mia looked back to the view she laughed when she looked back and Alexia was like she eagerly awaiting something, “Que?”

“Drink” she pointed at the glass

“Hang on, let me take a picture for Instagram” Mia laughed at yet another eye roll, “Patience La Reina”

“Very.. artistic” Alexia spoke playfully dry as she saw the phone as the picture was took, “Can you try now?”

Mia got settled back on the stool, “You’re quite bossy” Mia lifted the glass and guided the straw to her mouth, she was pleasantly surprised, she liked it. “Wow, that’s good”

Alexia nodded with a smile, “Sé”

“I should probably thank you” Alexia moved her eyes to Mia who felt some of her confidence falter, “For what you said in the press conference”

“Oh, it’s true” Alexia smiled when Mias cheeks flushed ever so slightly, “You can’t take a..” Alexia paused forgetting the English word waved her hand and said it in Spanish instead “cumplido?”

“I can.. but from you about football, it means a lot” Mia then made a joke to deflect her sudden embarrassment, “Wow this sangria must of gone straight to my head”

“You don’t care what i think” Alexia sipped her own drink, “That’s what i thought.. before”

Mia felt she needed to tread carefully they’d turned a corner and she was worried talking about how they previously were would send her right back to where they were. “I cared…” Mia fiddled with the straw admiring the view to avoid eye contact as Alexia watched the side of her face.

“I offend you?” Alexia looked worried something Mia instantly wanted to calm

“No” Mia spoke softly looking back to her, “I’m a big girl i can take some constructive criticism”

“No criticism, just” Alexia nervously sipped her drink as Mia furrowed her brows, “Just a reason to speak to you” Mias brows didn’t unfurl. “You excited for the pre season tour?”

Mia softened as Alexia was diverting, “Yeah..“ she nodded her lips coming around the straw again

“Nervous?” Alexia asked, “Playing your old team”

“No” Mia shook her head, it was cute Alexia thought she’d actually get to play, “Just be odd won’t it”

“Not even seeing..” Alexia paused looking past Mia in an attempt to pluck the name from somewhere, as cute as Alexias face was Mia felt she had to put her out her misery

“Katie?” Mia questioned when it appeared she’d forgotten her name, “No, couldn’t care less” Mia smiled as Alexia did, “Keira you should keep an eye on, she can be fiery”

“You not fiery?”

“You have really got to annoy me to see that side”

Alexia gave her a stiff nod, “Noted”

“Can i try something?” Mia asked and Alexia looked intrigued

“Ok”

Mia dug into the bag where she bought something from a shop before she ended back in Zara she pulled out a baseball cap stuck the cap on Alexia’s head and chuckled.

“Are you making fun of me?”

“No” Mia reached forward to fix it on her head properly, she bent the front so it sat better, “It suits you”

“I don’t wear baseball caps”

“Well you should” Mia sat back picking her glass up smiling as Alexia used her camera on her phone to look at herself. Mia watched Alexia look at herself and when she didn’t take it off it made her laugh.

“Do i look stupid?” Alexia asked her shoulders and whole body slumping ever so slightly

“No you look cute relax”

Alexia lowered her head to drink from her straw suddenly thankful for the cap to hide her blush. Or so she thought.

“You can’t take a cumplido?” Mia asked teasing, Alexia’s head whipping up with an unimpressed look on her face getting the most beautiful giggle from Mia.

“Shush and drink your Sangria” she found the corners of her lips turning upwards as they held eye contact.

Mia was coming down the plane, she rose her head as she spotted Alexia she got a little smirk on her lips, she was wearing the cap. Mia hadn’t realised Alexia actually never returned until this point

The plane had three rows of two, Mia walking down one side Alexia sat on the far other side a row of two seats between them, Alexia rose her head and rolled her eyes at Mia’s face. “Nice hat” she called across the silent plane, as the girls were all settling for the long flight.

Alexia waved her hand at her, “Go sit down”

“So so bossy” Mia faked a bow, “Si la Reina”

Mia squeezed by to sit in the window seat next to Keira where she was assigned to be, she missed the look on Keiras face wondered how they’d gone from barely acknowledging each other to teasing each other. “Hey” Mia looked to Kiera, “Leah text before, she said she text you about the three us grabbing a coffee if we can find time”

Keira nodded, “Yeah she suggested a group chat but i couldn’t make it because you refuse to give me your number and when i told Leah that she didn’t want to make the group incase you told her off”

Mia put her hand out, “Phone” Keira smiled handing it over, and Mia put her number into Keiras phone and called herself briefly. Mia rose her head handing the phone back to Keira as Patri leant on the chair in front of Keiras speaking to her.

Keira was lost they were speaking Spanish, they laughed and off Patri went.

Keira looked to Mia, “You two are friendly”

Mia furrowed her brows taking her Barca hoodie off, “Don’t start”

“Ok i really read that wrong”

Mia smiled at Keira, “Clearly”

The girls were told they couldn’t sleep on the flight, they had to stay awake, Mia was taking more pleasure than she should shoving Keira awake when ever she was asleep.

“Go for a walk or something” Mia suggested

“Need a wee to be fair”

Alexia rose her eye’s from her show when Keira caught her attention, she looked to Mia doing her sudoku. She knew from Irene beside her you could play battleships against someone else on the screens in-front of them, she figured out Mias seat number and asked her to play. She watched Mias brows furrow when her screen lit up, she lifted herself slightly to figure out who that seat number was and when her eyes landed on Alexia watching her she titled her head silently saying really with her expression.

Alexia just nodded as if to ask her to accept, Mia put her book away sat straight on and accepted.

Keira was amused by Mia playing battleships, “Who you playing against?”

“No clue” Mia muttered her lie, Keira before she sat down had a look around and Alexia was the only one with her screen on. Keira cleared her throat as she sat down.

“Can i ask you a question?” She whispered, Mia as she waited for Alexia’s next move turned her head to Kiera. “Your instagram story of the Sangria.. were you with Alexia? She posted something very similar at the same time”

“Just as shocked as you” Keira leant closer to her, “Bumped into her and she asked if i wanted to go for a drink” Mia glanced to Keira as they spoke in hushed tones.

“That’s a turn around”

“Tell me about it” Mia smiled when even from where she was she heard Alexia sigh when Mia found a ship. She was competitive in everything.

“Do you think it’s because she came with Mapi when you and Ingrid were out?”

“Maybe” Mia shrugged, “Maybe broke some ice there i don’t know”

“Still odd, she was so lovely when i first got here, I’ve never seen her like that with anyone else”

Mia turned to Keira, “Maybe she’s threatened by my talent”

Keiras distinctive laugh filled the quiet plane as she shoved a grinning Mia, “You wish” she said a bit louder than she meant making Mia laugh.

Mia Larsen posted on her instagram story

Mia came down the steps of the plane with Keira, they got onto the shuttle bus, Mia was scrolling on her Instagram as they travelled to the airport. Keira rose her eyes as Alexia for seemingly no reason came down the bus and perched next to Mia. Keiras eyes connected with Irene’s who just smirked.

“Hey loser” Mia smirked not raising her head or even breaking her doom scroll.

“Bet you could see my screen”

Mia laughed softly her eyes looking out the corner towards Alexia, “You really hate loosing don’t you”

“Hate it” she muttered

Mia just smiled, “Same but i won so i’m happy”

Alexia shook her head trying to not smile, “You’re annoying”

“Oh she’s a sore loser!” Mia smiled locking her phone giving Alexia her full attention, “That’s going to be fun”

“Why is that fun?”

“Because you are going to challenge me at something else because you want to beat me at anything now, but you won’t and i will keep beating you just as easily as i did at battleships”

“Oh” Alexia nodded, “Is that right?”

Mia hummed nodding, “Sure is”

“We’ll see about that” Alexia rose to her feet to go back to where she came from.

“Oh. My. God” Keira said beside her, she shook her head at Mia, “I can’t keep up with you two”

“What?” Mia looked genuinely confused

“You go from her ignoring you to go going out for a drink and now flirting”

Mia scrunched her face, “That wasn’t flirting”

“Ok” Keira laughed as the bus pulled up in front the airport, “Don’t even realise you’re doing it, cute” Keira put an arm around her neck as they walked

“This is really not helpful Keira when trying to carry bags”

“Yeah but” she smiled, “She seemed to enjoy it”

“Enjoy what?”

“The flirting!” Keira spoke

“There was no flirting”

+

Mia was quiet since she was back in London, obviously the girls had no clue why, they put it down to nerves playing her old team in a matter of days. She kept to herself did her sudoku in the corner when the girls were in communal areas, she spoke when spoken to but there was a noticeable difference in her.

Keira tried but she didn’t like to push, Leah had made her well aware that Mia would come to her when she was ready and pushing the matter would only make her pull further away.

Alexia was walking through the hall of the training centre they had been permitted to use, she spotted Mia alone in a meeting room door slightly ajar. She pushed it open Mia had a look Alexia couldn’t quite read when she turned from the window she was looking out of to see her stood there.

“I’m fine” Mia spoke wiping her tears, she took steps to leave but when the door was closed without a word she knew she wasn’t getting away with it that easy.

“Sit” Alexia pointed to the meeting table

“Alexia, you’re my captain not my counsellor we can pretend this didn’t happen”

Alexia pointed to herself, “Soy el Capitán” she pointed to the chair, “I say sit, so sit”

Mia did as she was told quietly sitting down on the chair her eyes watching Alexia get a little plastic cup of water from the water machine in the room and place it in front of her. Alexia took a seat but didn’t speak as Mia rested her elbow on the table leaning on her hand just quietly staring.

“Mia” Mia moved her eyes, “You deserve to be here” Alexia was searching for any clue in Mias eyes what was wrong, “If that’s why your sad”

“It’s not, but thank you”

“You want to say?” Alexia mimicked her position and unintentionally got a gentle smile from Mia

“Now’s probably not the time”

“When is the time?”

Mia lowered her eyes, she felt safe looking into Alexia’s eyes, she didn’t want to over share. She didn’t feel they were yet. But as she looked up and the sun came out from behind the clouds, they sparkled. “I don’t know”

“Do i need to get Irene to hurt someone?” Mia laughed sitting up folding her arms on the table, “Can i have your phone?” Mia furrowed her brows, “Capitana” Mia slid it over, “Unlock it” Mia smiled to herself as Alexia slid it back before pulling it back over after Mia finished unlocking it.

“What are you doing?”

Alexia poked at the phone app, typed in a number and Mia could feel herself hyperventilating at the fact it appeared Alexia was giving her, her phone number. “Giving you my phone number” Alexia pressed ring then hung up before pushing it back raising her eyes to Mias, “Incase the time comes”

“Promise me something”

Alexia sat up, “Anything” it was so softly spoken Mia believed her that she genuinely would

“If it looks like i’m going to show myself up and punch Katie tomorrow, stop me”

Alexia laugh gently, “Sure”

“Thank you”

+

Mia was sat in the meeting for the team announcement for their first friendly against Arsenal, Mia couldn’t believe it. Pere planned to bring her on at the 60 minute mark regardless of the score, she was trying to look happy but not overly happy. She didn’t want to look like a giddy school girl but she didn’t want to look unbothered. Like she appreciated the opportunity but not show too much surprise that it made Pere and his team doubt her, they couldn’t believe in her if she couldn’t even.

Mia was out for training in the usual shorts and short sleeve top where as all the other girls had wrapped up she was made fun of constantly this training session, even Keira now not used to the cooler British weather joined in.

The girls were slapping hands at the end of training Mia was drinking her water when Alexia caught her eye she pointing between the two, “You against me” She pointed, “Free kick”

Mia swallowed the water in her mouth, “You serious?”

Alexia was smiling nodding, “Yeah, come on” she pointed for her to go first, “Panos” Alexia shouted, “Quédate ahí practicando tiros libres” She hollered for Panos to stay in goal, Alexia shoved her hand forward again, “Go”

“No pressure” Mia rolled the ball forward with her foot

Keira scrunched her face, “You don’t place the ball”

Mia hand on her hips look at her, “No” she scratched her face, “Never have”

“You didn’t take the free kicks at Arsenal? Am I right?” Keira asked sitting on the floor with some of the other midfielders who’d stuck around.

“No. Katie always did” Mia mumbled taking a step back.

Mia wound up and took the shot, “Oh she’s scoffed that” Keira laughed as she ball took off looking like it was going out past the left post, which sent Panos that way, “Oh wait” The ball started curling, “No she hasn’t” It skimmed around the fake wall men slotting top right corner, Mia was bounded into by the very excitable girls as Alexia stayed routed to the spot.

Mia had a beaming infectious smile as her eyes came to Alexia who nodded she put her hand out, Mia simply tapped it before Alexia set her ball up, more methodical than Mia.

Mia and Alexia had a friendly back and to with the free kicks, Mapi even joined and sent a couple off, they weren’t keeping count. But Mia was. She noted she’d scored more. She’d get that into Alexia at some point for sure, Mia found a new love for winding Alexia up. 

Mia came around the corner and Alexia was walking down the corridor towards her, she didn’t have an expression until she spoke, “Hola” A smile escaped onto her lips.

“Hola” Mia watched as Alexia turned on her heels flicking her head to follow, she moved after a step or two, “Where are we going?”

She pressed the button for the lift and turned to her yet still no expression

Mia looked at her phone in her hand when it buzzed, ignored it and looked right back up, “Can I know before I agree to get in this lift with you?”

Alexia shook her head stepping inside the lift, she pressed the button to hold the door, “Come on”

Mia rolled her eyes stepping into the lift moving to lean against the back of it with her arms folded, Mia swallowed when Alexia looked out the corner of her eye at her. “Que?”

“You’re acting weird”

“This whole situation is weird” Mia spoke, Alexia turned silently asking her to elaborate, “Who gets someone out there room at night and into a lift without telling them where they are taking them”

The doors opened behind Alexia, “Where are you two going?”

“Couldn’t tell you even if I wanted to Patri” Mia spoke waiting for Alexia to leave first, “If I don’t come back to the room in an hour call the police”

Alexia called over her shoulder, “Ignórala, está siendo dramática.”

“I am not being dramatic”

Patri was amused, “Have fun guys” she pushed her floor button

Mia was lead into an arcade the hotel had, “Random” she muttered as she carried on following Alexia seemingly knowing exactly what game they were playing. “Basketball?” Mia questioned amused

“Si” Alexia nodded she hovered her finger over the start button, “Highest score wins”

“Wait” Mia spoke releasing a breath, “I need to get ready” Alexia smiled cheekily and pushed the button anyway her balls being released to her, the shock written all over Mias face at the cheating tactics to put her off, “Ay!” Mia rushed forward to get hers as Alexia had already started shooting, “You’re such a cheat” Mia started shooting. Neither knew why but they couldn’t stop smiling and giggling as they frantically threw the balls at the hoop.

Alexia exclaimed in Spanish when she saw Mia was beating her after sinking several in a row, “No otra vez” Alexia leaned over to knock a ball out Mia’s hand, Alexia ran out of balls as Mia still had time, she got in the way trying to block the shot, Mia bent over reaching around Alexia’s waist to get her last ball touching her waisting trying to move her out the way. The pair couldn’t stop laughing as Mia moving back Alexia coming forward she took her shot from far, Alexia turning watching as it went in.

Mia exclaimed hands up in the air, “Campeona!” Alexia shook her head a hand thrown up in the air, “Campeona! Campeona!” Mia chanted getting a shove in her shoulder from Alexia

“Sore winner”

Mia took a step closer with her smug smile pointing at her face, “Winner” she pointed to Alexia, “Loser” Alexia took hold of the finger as they stood just smiling at each other in silence longer than either really realised, awkward Alexia came out involuntarily flicking between Mia’s eyes and moving around her. “Ow!” Mia laughed, turning to see where she went. “Was that really necessary?”

“Come on Campeona, we’re going to miss curfew”

Alexia missed the salute Mia sent her way, “Si Capitana”

[apeninastory]

ivan as a tragic-love character (pt.4c?) (nowhere edition)

Part 2 here. I RE-READ THIS A COUPLE OF TIMES BUT HONESTLY MY BRAIN IS SO FRIED I AM NOT SURE WHAT THIS POST CONTAINS. i may have exagerated and also forgotten something, but there is at least another post abt ivan waiting, soooo...

omg i feel like i could write a whole book abt ivan, i swear. i am finally where i wanted to be - the new song, the one that took over my brain and that i kinda want to listen to in repeat for the rest of my life.

and mind you - this is "Ivan Part 1". PART. 1. WTAF.

9] nowhere.

this is probably the moment nowhere is born. ivan's hypocris and dissonance gave birth to this - which may be why the lore of this CD tells us it was found by chance, stored in Anakt Lost and Found Center and recorded as sold by an unknown donor. that means, he probably composed, wrote and recorded nowhere back in anakt, before graduation - though i like the idea of ivan composing this after it, in the period of time he didn't see till, mizi and sua, a period where memories might have taken over his mind and made him nostalgic, restless.

[who is the unknown donor and why is it ivan himself?]

i feel like it is much more personal and raw than black sorrow, and since i am obsessed with ivan, i can't resists its call - it is now my favourite among all the alnst tracks.

the cover.

this is, like, the first step. where the tears start.

it is not our first time seeing little ivan from the slums-arc, but every time, it feels like a punch on the face. the little snaggletooth is there, he is dirty and wears worn out (lab?) clothes and his eyes are so so empty, i can barely stand looking at him without crying.

another important element: the small feet belonging to one of the kids - toes are missing. did those, dunno, froze and got removed? did adults/aliens remove them to torture the kid/make him incapable of running away/as a punishment of sort? no idea. as i said, i love the idea of ivan being born in an illegal factory for pet humans - it would fit so so well - born as a commodity from the very beginning.

like, how much more miserable do i want my baby to be? yes.

the title.

it's nowhere, but for the cover they went like "no, let's play something" and split it in now here. obvious question: why?

nowhere is undefined - it's a no-place, it means "not in or to any place; not anywhere". it might suggest ivan's lack of a sense of belonging, again, the insecurity that comes with not having a stable life - practically and emotionally.

now here is a bit more defined - here is a place, but where, exactly? and is it only a place or more a situation, a moment, a condition? probably both - like, "now i am here, doing this, being this, within this situation and that's it". the song should tell us more!

the lyrics.

and then the music starts.

In love with you When you were mine In love with you (reverse?) In love Love Love always You In love Love always

wow. just - mindblowing.

this is Ivan's solo, his own song, like hyuna's drunk & party and love & peace. the appearance of the world love is incredibly important, but i don't think it defines the theme of the whole song.

what it does is set the pov - this song is written/composed in a moment where ivan: already knows this word + thinks he knows what it means (and links it to till).

the fact that these verses sound radio-like, distant, as if ivan is listening to them instead of actively singing. it creates a gap between them and the rest of the song. it feels like he is composing the song in a moment when he already knows is love is doomed, so he rewinds back to his own origins and speaks abt himself. the song is written by a Ivan who already knows everything, so we can find traces of "future events" in verses of the song that are supposedly about the past.

these words also sound distorted - love is not sweet sounding and charming and light, like my clematis, nor it is energetic and hopeful like unknown until the end, with till wishing to know more and singing abt his resilience. no. in nowhere, love is raspy and numb and has darker hues - it is obsessive, haunting, just like how these verses resound for the entire song in the background.

they sound like a condemnation and a reminder: ivan loves, can't help but love, has no choice but to love, is condemned to love, chose actively to love. they also sound like he is drilling the word into the listener's head by repeating to it non-stop, in an obsessive cycle.

Nowhere, from beginning to end a stained history It freely chatters away That always happens to me

Key words: history, beginning to end. i already said many times, but ivan is a narrator. this is the starting point of ivan's story, ivan's realities, both the one he begins to write abt himself (or tries to) and the one from where we can glimpes at the real ivan. the lyrics might have started with "once upon a time there was a black-haired boy..." and get the same effect. he recounts a history (his own) that is real to him, that mirrors his life - but we can't totally believe him. let's keep this in mind!

we know this story ends in black, with an empty spot and blood (black soooorroooooow), but how does it start? this song has references to ivan's past and life at anakt, so it was probably written slighlty before graduation (since the CD was found in anakt warehouse and an unregistered track - how ivan recorded it is a mystery, but we know he has knowledge and priviledges other do not have). either that, or after graduation/before alien stage, and he somehow found a way to sneak the CD there.

that is probably why he writes "from beginning to end, a stained history": he remembers the beginning and is in a position where he can already predict the end of the story - stained, never pure, since the very start, as if his life was destined to be like that.

what abt the "freely chatters away" verse? i'm not sure, because how can someone's history chatter away? i think we can see it as "it freely chatters away from my mouth", like this story spills from ivan easily, like he can easily build lies for the sake of keeping this illusion, this mask he has, going. the expression apparently indicates someone speaking fluidly, in a relaxed way, but also rambling for a long time. it may suggest that, while from the outside ivan looks smooth and collected, from his point of view this is all rambling, it's the fictional-ivan he created for the sake of the society he lives in - a ivan he needs and uses and maybe resents.

"that always happens to me" reinforces the "beginning to end" part of the song - he is singing abt a common theme in his life in a dejected tone, resigned, like he knows/feels he can't do anything abt it and is okay with it. the stain is permanent and he is destined to "that".

Nowhere, rose-tinted rigid dream and hope It's stained with blood That's just how it is That always happens to me

this is where it gets super super interesting. if in the previous part ivan was warning us abt this being a story (his story and/or the story he is writing abt himself), we are now within ivan's narration.

ivan is still nowhere, but we have some coordinates: a "rigid dream and hope" dyed in rosy hues. he tells us about the existence of a dream immersed in a light, delicate color - the color of stereotypical love/affection (?), of beautiful things. also, this dream/hope is rigid, which is not very dream-like or hopeful.

contrasting images, how fitting for our living oxymoron!

a dream may be something that is commonly regarded as beautiful and ideal (a dream), but that for ivan is rigid - forced? unnatural? a dream he has to fit in in order to survive/blend in/function in the society he finds himself in, perhaps. i explained how other kids at anakt see him and how he makes himself friendlier and smilier. this may be it.

we could also make it abt romantic love. maybe ivan is trying to fit into a vision of love he can't fully embrace/mirror, so he perceives it as stiff. i hope i'm about to phrase it in the right way, but a nice example might be the contrast between mainstream and/or hetero depiction of love vs lgbt depiction of love. ivan being (canonically?) gay gives this idea even more credit - in a normal world, without aliens, surrounded by ways of loving ivan doesn't identify in, this sentence presents his discomfort abt not fitting in stereotypical love.

of course alnst!ivan doesn't have that benefit, but i think this discourse may work as some sort of parallelism: ivan can't love the way he sees other people love. take mizi and sua, for example. in ivan's eyes, they fit the "rose-tinted dream and hope", it is not "stiff" if he puts them in it, then he thinks about himself, abt how he loves (loves till) and it doesn't work anymore.

[we could associate it to till's depiction of love - the rosy hues of this dream are not to be intended as stereotypical, but as the ideal love till wants (sees in mizi) and ivan can't give - perhaps, but i'd like to focus on ivan]

"it's stained with blood", here we come to the stained history from before - stained with what? eh. ivan's life started with blood and ended with blood (his own), but also the blood of humanity, of the people he meets, also destined to a bloody end because of the world they live in. a rosy dream, a rosy hope, the blabbering wonders of a young mind end in red, in blood, and the contrast is as good as it is painful. what is the point of trying to fit in an illusion like that when he already knows what the end will be? that's why his story was stained from the beginning - the end was clear as day since ivan's first opened his eyes.

yeah. "that's just how it is", after all, from ivan's pov. he is resigned to it, so the illusion gives him no comfort, prevents him from fitting in. and again, it is something that always happens to him. what is it? not belonging. he is nowhere, in a story written by him that is stained since the beginning (his birth) to the end (his death), a story with no hope of redemption or finding better condition - a story where not even a dream can give him hope.

My sky, shaped by the world doesn't even let me stand under it I lay down and look at yesterday's daydream, all torn up

i love this part. okay.

"my sky" - the sky is something everyone has above their head. it's just there, no matter the planet. adding "my" kinda gives it something poetic abt it, as if the narrator is not reffering to the sky, but a particular something/someone that can be equated to the sky. while this is a possible interpretation

[again, the sky and the color teal resonate with each other, it is an interesting way of fitting till here, but it's not only that!]

we need to dig a bit more. how many skies did ivan see? the one in the slums - glimpses between rundown buildings -, the night sky before his auction, the fake baby blue at anakt, the red metor shower sky with till, the (fake?) one above the stage he died on. what do the have in common? all are concessions/creations given to him by others. adding "my" makes it interesting, because the sky is not something that can belong to a person, but we know ivan feels a connection with what the sky holds.

"shaped by the world" - that's why he added this. it is "his" sky in the measure which it was shaped by someone/something else. his birth, aliens, till, these are all entities that influenced the "sky" ivan claims as "his", as if to say "i can't have the whole thing because so many have taken it away from me/have limited the sky i could reach".

"doesn't even let me stand under it" - not only that, not only the slice of sky he can have is limited, his sky (this remaining slice) doesn't even accept him. how heart-breaking is this? because we know the sky isn't guilty - this is how ivan perceives himself. he feels rejected by people and by the world, as if it was saying to him that he shouldn't have been born. after all, if the sky does't let him stand under it, what place does ivan have left?

this speaks to me abt his authentic inability to belong. while i think we can say that it is not true that he is unwanted, it is not true that the world rejects him, i can sure understand why he sees himself like that - abandoned, ill threated, sold off, "unloved", used as a commodity. his view of himself, crooked as it is, is not baseles.

he can't have a physical place - so he creates his own reality.

saying "I lay down and look at yesterday's daydream, all torn up" makes me think abt little ivan, back on the ground, staring up the same way we would lay on grass and watch the clouds move.

"yesterday" - we can take it literally, so the day prior, of more figuratively, it may refer to the past. the story progresses: there was a time when ivan used to have dreams, maybe rose-tinted, maybe those same dreams he can't fit in now, and he regards them now as something from the past, from which he now distance himself

"daydream" - these were not unconscious dreams made at night, but dreams he conjured willingly, his own narrative, the story of the ivan he wanted to be all tangled in this song.

"all torn up" - like he knows better, now, than to abandon himself to them. they are all torn up, probably by the awareness that they are dreams, and that ivan can't fit in.

ivan is talking abt the attempt at dreaming he made when he was young, and abt his discovery/awareness that it doesn't work for him. let's think of the meteor shower event with till. by escaping with him, ivan tried to fit into till's dream (freedom), but failed. so he stares at this, at his "yesterday's daydreams", and replays them in his mind.

does this mean he stops dreaming? honestly, i don't think so. ivan is a hopeless romantic (not strictly related to love, but "of, characterized by, or suggestive of an idealized view of reality"), a drama queen, a narrator. part of the frustration this song suggest may be related to the fact that despite knowing it is useless, he can't help but doing it.

welcome to humanity, baby! human beings and their souls crave for art.

Fly far, far away Never, never again Come back to me Because it's easier to forget It's so typical Typical to me

although not explicitly said, it appears that here ivan is not talking to himself, seems to be referring to a "you". he doesn't have problems with mentioning himself in the lyrics (happens to me, my sky, I lay down), so it must mean something!

i am a bit torn, here, because it could still mean that he (present ivan) is speaking to little ivan. like he wants to chase away his vulnerable and inexperienced past self, so distant from the ivan he became and needs to be in order to live in relative peace until the end. "fly away from my mind, don't let me reminesh, don't let me remember, forgetting is easier, safer, as i am used to force myself to live survive in ignorance". he could also be asking him(self) to escape, at least within the dream - to go far, far away, in a safe place, so not to experience what he had.

but. in love with you, when you were mine. daydreams and hope and blood stains, a sky that doesn't want him... it feels like ivan isn't only at war with himself, but with a different stain, a different imprint, a different someone. the robotic voice is still there, in the background, like a reminder that this is not only about the ivan-self.

ivan is trying to get rid of something.

he is inviting that something to go away, or maybe chasing it away from him, to safety. imagine that something is a someone. imagine that someone is till. now take these words and make them abt till: "fly away from my mind, don't let me reminesh, don't let me remember, forgetting is easier, safer, as i am used to force myself to live survive in ignorance". what if he is telling till to go away becausse he doesn't want to hurt him with his words and behaviour anymore? what if he also doing it for himself? because if ivan doesn't think abt till, if he doesn't think abt the meteor shower, if he doesn't think about alien stage being the place where one of them will probably have to die, he can put all his efforts into his performance and win. we know he can - r3 ended with him making 90 points. till is good, but r6, absent-minded till? ivan could win. it's just that in the end, he can't.

i like both interpretation, because they both force ivan to face parts of himself he probably doesn't like or can't accept or even better, can't understand.

Wake up, wake up In my overwhelming daily life Is it for real? An existence like dust I can't stand to look at it Close my eyes And my mind

"wake up" - he is talking to himself now. as i said, i don't think adult ivan stops dreaming just because he can't abandon himself to his daydreams the way others do. the point his, waking up is like a slap in the face for him - his daily life is overwhelming: medical experimentations, lessons, alien stage awaiting him, songs to record, death, and what remains of him? "an existence like dust"

he can't stand the idea of keeping his eyes on it. he can't find refuge in the dream (so he turns off his mind), he can't find solace in reality (so he closes his eyes). are you starting to get why the song is called nowhere?

Worse and worse This painful wound I become more and more numb In the dark City lights I Can't find anyone Anyone Anyone

the "painful wound" can be a a trauma (his past, threatment at anakt, meteor shower) or simply a mix of everything - it can be his whole life, perceived as a festering wound he can't heal from, that makes him number and number to everything, both dream and reality. the darkness has lights, but no one in sight.

Nowhere, from beginning to end a stained history With that revolting tooth That always happens to me

the chorus repeats, but with a variant - "With that revolting tooth", the saggletooth we and the alien public all love.

hatred toward himself - ivan is incredibly critical of himself, but not in a neautral, objective way. he finds this detail of him "revolting", which is too strong a word and confirms that he cannot be objective when it comes to himself. baby, you are beautiful???? NOTHING is revolting abt you. what the hell.

it may be a reminder of something that happened to him in the slums, though. a trauma, a critica, tortures? i wish i knew!

Nowhere, seeped in purple rigid dream and hope It's stained with blood That's just how it is That always happens to me

his dream and hope take a different hue - purple. it is getting darker, if we think they were initially tinted in a rose-colour. it feels like his daydream is maturing, that there is a temporal shift, so while his first daydreams were rosy, growing up they became purplish. heading toward black?

That's just the kind of kid he is, so laugh Laugh, because he can't do anything No one cares about someone like him There's nowhere in the world for him to rest That's just how he is

another super interesting part. look at the change in subject: he.

i wrote abt ivan's dissonance, his splitting in two, the frustration he feels with himself. i also said he is trying to get rid of something, and it makes a lot of sense that that something is the side of himself he resents/can't understand/can't reason with.

notice how the way he sings this and the next part gets quicker, more raspy, less elegant. it feels like a punch in the face with how intense it is. ivan sounds resentful. not angry, maybe - his voice is soft, haunting, resigned for most of the song, but here? he is letting it all go. he is venting, releasing. "there is nothing to do, kid, things are bound to stay the way they were, the way they are, so just laugh and keep smiling because no one will ever care about you. don't even try, don't look for a place to be, this is how things are and no amount of dreams/efforts will change things up."

so. he is talking to himself. nowhere is a letter to his past self - little ivan, lost between the slums, his daydreams and the hope to be loved. his tone grows louder, more livelier for a moment, because he is feeling it all.

He's smooth, flexible, quite easy Just go past it like it doesn't bother you It's nothing, shake it off and stand tall Again, it's nothing, shake it off and stand tall Like nothing happened

and after talking to himself, he mentions till. i can't fit the English sentence here as something ivan tells himself/kid ivan, it is far from how he perceives himself. the sentence is also in English, so it's like he is highlighting the change in subject.

that's why he reminds himself "don't bother, don't think, ignore it all, forget that it all happened". what? the meteor shower. it comes back to that as a moment where not only till, the whole dream of ivan being able to fit in splits and falls apart - the starting point of the dissonance that will lead ivan to composing this song.

Wake up, wake up In my beautiful life Is it for real? An existence like dust I can't stand to look at it Close my eyes And my mind

the dream has collapsed, so back to reality - the reality he built for himself, where he can control things. this life is beautiful, but it is obviously a lie, because his existence is still like dust, and he still needs to keep eyes and mind closed.

the wound keeps festering - the reality he builds for himself is to have the illusion of a place to stay, but not a mind-numbing one. he knows he doesn't belong, doesn't pretend to find a place for himself, that's why the rest of the verses are the same. it's still him and he is still aware, but there is a disillusioned acceptance to his role.

Nowhere, from beginning to end A festering histerie With these cruel lips That always happens to me

this is also where the anger and loathing he feels toward himself most emerge, i think.

"festering" reminds us of the wound ivan lives with, the one that keeps hurting and keeps him numbed to the pain, but here it is linked to hysteria ("exaggerated or uncontrollable emotion or excitement"). so it really is something ivan feels he can't keep under control. perhaps, the process of putting all this darkness in a song was meant to be cathartic.

"with those cruel lips" makes me wanna scream. because even though i logically link this to ivan and to what he said abt himself in this comic, the song keeps presenting us with instances where we can link some verses to till instead - ivan has been cruel to him, from ivan's pov, but maybe, a part of ivan also blames till for cruelly ignoring him and his sorrow.

Nowhere, seeped in black rigid dream and hope It's stained with blood That's just how it is That always happens to me That always happens to me That always happens to me

"seeped in black"!!!!! darkness fell, ivan's heart is still once more, he is once again in control - resigned to his fate, or better, the fate he assigned himself.

"black" winks at black sorrow - and perhaps this is the moment ivan began to plan his willing demise.

this may also be why the cover says "now here": ivan is here, in pre-alien stage, with this song in his hands, with these memories freshly extracted from his mind, freshly recollected. he disposes of it all and goes back to the short life that remains him, the chaos in his head appeased, the confusion numbed, ready to head toward the black end.

° * °

ivan is presented with all these contrasts and complications and differences between what he would have wanted to be (his dream) and what his reality has to offer (till loving mizi, ivan loveless and unlovable, a death game with an inevitable ending).

i thought nothing hurt more than black sorrow, but this song is painfully ivan. it couldn't have gotten more personal than this, and it makes my heart ache so much.

this is the song the pictures ivan most perfectly. this is also the song ivan never wanted us, everyone, to find. the dissonance and hypocrisis in himself grew to a point that he probably needed to let it out - and what's the best way to do it for someone like ivan who seldom even feels like needing to let it all out? music. he has been studying it profoundly, knows it can be cathartic - has seen his friends, especially till, use music as a medium for emotions, both controlled and bottled up.

he composes and writes this to be abt himself - maybe abt his friends, maybe against the system -, but he does and narrates himself the way he sees himself, the ivan that he thinks he is. we know he is an unreliable narrator, and the song tells us exactly that: this is ivan, someone who can't be trusted when describing himself, so in a way, the unreliability is ivan's most accurate portrait.

he probably felt naked after recording this, so i have a strong feeling ivan himself disposed of it - that is why it was "found" in a warehouse - as the song is ivan's story, but also a cry against the system for making him like this and a love/hate letter, to till and to himself. he couldn't let anyone find it before his death, now, could he?

PART 4 coming soon?

[kittycatzayne]

The first work I'm posting on here! Criticism, feedback, and tips are always welcome! Please, be kind. I would love to know what you think! Apologies for spelling errors. I suck.

Slightly suggestive content but nothing explicit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you got injured Zayne had a tendency to go abstinent. Whether you got the injury from a workplace accident or from an everyday mishap the result was always the same.

Zayne always fussed no matter the severity of your wounds. He treated papercuts, light red bruises, to simple rug rashes. But when it was truly serious? Zayne would get sucked into that gorgeous, brilliant mind of his. He lost himself, dedicating every bit of his energy to tending to you.

His concern warmed you inside just as much as it pained you.

A couple of weeks ago you had gotten caught off guard by a Wanderer. In the split second your mind had registered the presence of a threat, the beast had already whipped you onto the ground. You were a good fighter when you were clutching onto a gun, a sword, hell— sometimes you even wielded a staff. But your body was no match against the jaws of a Wanderer.

You got tossed around like a limp ragdoll, one of your legs punctured by its teeth. What felt like lifetimes of pain, that was likely only a few seconds, ended when the Wanderer grew bored of you. Tossing your weightless figure against the bark of a nearby tree.

You don't remember blacking out on impact. You don't remember your partner carrying you out of the woods. What you do remember was waking up tucked into clean white bedsheets. Zayne staring down at you, a furrow in his brow that spoke of his worry.

Since then, you've returned home. On constant bed rest under the strict orders of the primary care physician. The first few days were tolerable. Until they weren't.

"Zayne," you grumbled from your spot on the bed, "I'm a bit banged up. But giving me a kiss isn't going to break me."

All of your attempts to seal your lips against Zayne's since you had returned home have been gently rejected. Delicately pushing down on your injured shoulder, placing your head back on the plush pillows.

"You have a cut on your lip," the infuriating man had reasoned. A tiny, insignificant scratch on the middle of your lip. One that had already begun to heal.

"If you are not careful, it will become infected. The last thing you need right now is more pain."

This continued on for weeks. Every kiss was rejected. Every request for some soothing cuddles was denied. The most physical contact you have gotten from your beloved was the brush of his chilled fingers against your heated skin when he changed your bandages.

You would be worried that Zayne might be upset at you for getting injured and denying you intimacy because of it. If not for the fact that you've seen your longing reflected in Zayne's eyes. He yearned to be closer just as much as you do. Finally, you have had enough.

"Zayne!" Late in the evening, the orange glow of setting sunlight streaming through the curtains, you call out to him from the bed. The door to the bedroom was left wide open, another rule of Zayne's. He wanted to be absolutely certain he would be able to hear you if you needed help. A mug of hot chocolate you didn't brew cools on the bedside table.

"I need help!" There was no verbal response. All you heard was the hasty scrape of chair legs against the floor. Worried footsteps pad down the carpeted hallway. It does not take long for Zayne to arrive.

"What?" With practiced efficiency, Zayne swiftly floats to where you rest. Bending at the knees to bring his face level with yours. He peers into your eyes for the answers your mouth may not give him.

"What do you need, my love? Tell me."

Good. You had him right where you wanted him. And this time, you were not going to let Zayne deny you over his needless concern. Taking his larger hand, you guide the tip of his fingers to brush against your lonesome lips.

"I feel pain. Right here." Guiding his hand further, you rest his palm over his heart. The heart Zayne has dedicated his life to studying, to mending, to soothing.

"And here." You keep moving him. Until his hand rests between the dip of your legs.

"And especially here."

You would pay to keep this particular expression on Zayne's face for the rest of your life. The slack of his jaw, the shocked furrow of his brow, the flabbergasted parting of his pink lips. When you come to learn Zayne's expression, he was like a whole new man.

"Darling," Zayne sighs shakily. His widened eyes squeeze tightly shut. Searching for the composure you always make him lose. Carefully, Zayne glides his hand upwards to the more appropriate parts of your body.

"We can't."

"Yes," you are quick to rebuttal, "we can. I'm going back to work after this weekend, Zayne." You were likely to be kept on paperwork duties until your colleagues were certain you were well enough to be on the field. But even so, it was proof enough that you were no longer in a terrible condition. And there was no longer any excuse for Zayne to keep himself from you.

"Please," you take on a breathier, pleading tone. You don't want to get snippy with him. But gosh, you were so tired of this distance.

"I would set the world on fire for a single kiss." Lacing your fingers together you squeeze his hand to emphasize your words.

"Being unable to have you, especially when you're right in front of me, hurts more than any of my injuries."

The same agonized expression that decorated Zayne's features when you first woke up in Akso returns to his face. All you ever seemed to do was worry him. No one would be surprised if he suffered the same heart problems as his patients in a couple years.

"The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you." Removing his glasses, setting them down next to your now cold, unappetizing hot chocolate, he leans down. Pressing the curve of his forehead against yours. Eyes fluttering, your head melts against him, your neck going practically limp. This was the first non-clinical contact you've gotten from your beloved in days.

"Then be near me," you beg.

"I love Doctor Zayne with all of my heart. But he's not who I need right now. You are my best medicine." You should have been this honest from the beginning. It would have avoided you all this unnecessary loneliness these past few weeks. Zayne always indulged you eventually, especially when you were at your most vulnerable.

Keeping his eyes shut Zayne takes one, two, three long inhales through his nose. The unintentional consequence of breathing in your sweet scent hits him like a tidal wave. His exhales come out trembling, strained.

"Alright," he concedes to your whims. Bowing his head, he nods. Finally, he was giving in to you. All his treatment from these past few weeks was nothing compared to his. You swore you were cured.

"Alright. But I must go slow. For your sake and my own. I meant it when I said I refuse to ever be the cause of your pain."

There would be no complaints from you. Despite the intense longing to be closer to Zayne, to breathe the air straight from his lungs, to be connected body and soul, you wanted it to be done tenderly. There was no less passion in slow, thoughtful love.

"Zayne," you whisper, clasping the back of his neck. Finally, he crawls into bed next to you. The bed that has felt so empty and cold, almost unbearable every night. You would be sure that the imprint of his body would be left on the mattress come morning.

"You've got yourself a deal."

[whatevertheweather]

Happy Wednesday apparently! So, the only writing I've actually done so far this year (all 8 long days of it) is for original stuff. But we're going to visit one of the fics I mentioned in my year end post, which I wanted to share a bit of in the pursuit of kicking the ol' "you must create in a vacuum" habit.

My original intent towards secrecy on this one was twofold. First, that it's an AU based on a book I feverishly finished in a weekend a bit ago, and if I say the book, spoilers can get involved. Second, if I get excited about it and then lose that excitement and never finish it, no one can be disappointed, because they didn't know about it in the first place.

The latter is silly because community is the way to maintain excitement, but I'm still a little on the fence about the former, so I'm not going to explain the AU just yet. For now, I'll just say half the excitement is the opportunity to be very mean to both of them, and the WIP doc is at a wordcount of ~18k, fairly evenly split between brainstorming and actual writing, and the first page features the header Like any good doc whose first sentence includes “maybe never pursue this,” here’s the research section.

So anyway, here's a little bit that does not tell you why I have to research things.

“Pitch,” Simon said. He waited for Baz to say I know, I get that all the time. But the line was quiet. “Like—?” “Yes.” “Like Pitch. Industries. Like Pitch Industries.” “Yes.” “Like, you made my suit.” “Well, no,” Baz corrected, punctuating it with a short and pointed pause. Like he was giving Simon a small grace period to call himself an idiot. “I designed it. I don’t hand-make every suit.” Simon took a breath. Held it in his cheeks and blew it out. “I have some complaints.” Baz left him again in the ringing silence where camaraderie goes to die.  Finally, haltingly, he said, “Such as?”

It's probably not that kind of suit.

Anywho, thank you for the tags the last few days: @martsonmars @monbons @artsyunderstudy @youarenevertooold @rimeswithpurple

@mooncello @bookish-bogwitch @run-for-chamo-miles @aristocratic-otter @thewholelemon

@confused-bi-queer @noblecorgi

And more tags for: @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @facewithoutheart @moodandmist @fatalfangirl @whogaveyoupermission

@ivelovedhimthroughworse @ionlydrinkhotwater @sillyunicorn @ileadacharmedlife @alexalexinii

@bluedahlia912 @iamamythologicalcreature @cutestkilla @raenestee @basiltonbutliketheherb

[beautifulpersonpeach]

So,

As I said earlier this week, I'm on vacation and hope to get around to some of your asks soon. But in the time I posted that and now, things happened, the world has blown up and the life my 67 year old friend and helper had in Oahu, is upended. I'm currently helping with relief efforts for Maui, and if anyone is so inclined, please see this link for a list of local Hawaiian charities that can get real help to people who most need it right now. It's a list made by native Hawaiians with confirmed charities on the top tabs.

[reticent-fate]

part 11/26ish

anyone remember those scales with the springs in 'em? all i ever see these days are digital scales but those things made the best noises. i think i've seen some kitchen scales that still use spring mechanisms, but it's been a while.

technology is weird.

from the beginning

[youremyonlyhope]

Hey YouTube. Just because I love to crochet, does not mean I want constant Woobles ads.

[immortalsins]

everything is falling apart but i'm kept alive rn by the thought of getting to organise jewellery tonight

[mariyekos]

Important research going on for my current fic:

Actually wait. Wait.

IT'S HARD TO TELL IN THIS SCREENSHOT BUT V PUSHED THE DOOR IN TO GET IN. MORRISON ALSO LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO PUSH THE DOORS IN BEFORE THE SCREEN FADES TO BLACK. THEY GO BOTH WAYS. I'M VINDICATED IN THINKING THEY OPENED IN TOO. OKAY SCENE REVISED TO HAVE THE DOORS SLAMMING IN INSTEAD.

[babycharmander]

(THE BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS!!)

Thinking about Bill’s appearance at the end of the book…

[ID: BIll when confronting the Axolotl. He is shown in white silhouette, hovering in space, hovering neutrally. Notably, he has a massive crack running through his body, splitting him into multiple pieces, some of which are coming apart. /end ID]

When confronting the Axolotl, Bill is broken. The Axolotl even notes this: "Shattered, broken, not yet dead."

(Which, side note, makes me think Bill might have been lying about having been "kicked out of Hell," if he didn't actually die in Stan's head.)

[ID: Three pictures of Bill in the Theraprism. The first one shows him holding his hand against the side of his head in a dazed expression, sitting in a chair in a white padded room between a wizard with a clock for a face and Saturn (taken directly from the painting Saturn Devouring His Son). The second is a camera recording of him wearing an orange jumpsuit and kneeling in a cell, surrounded by arts and crafts tools, holding a pair of scissors, and beaming his thoughts frantically into a book. The third shows a mugshot of him staring blankly into the camera, his own name written on coded text below him. In all three images, he has a glowing scar where the cracks were, and is in one piece. /end ID]

When he's shown in the Theraprism, we see a glowing, static-y scar where the cracks were. The scar crosses his entire body (and even crosses to the other side of his eye without affecting it!), but he's actually whole, keeping himself together.

But then...

[ID: Two pictures of Bill from the last pages of the book. In the first one he is facing forward and holding up one finger, his eye reddened, his entire form glitching, and his crack is notably worse than prior, cracking through his eye, multiple smaller pieces drifting away. In the second one he is staring blankly at the viewer, his arms hanging limply, his eye wide and blank, the crack worse than the previous image, with more pieces floating away. /end ID]

In the last few pages, we see the scar is gone and the cracks are back, and even more of him is breaking away, including parts of his eye. It's especially bad in the last image, with even more pieces of him breaking away.

Also noteworthy is that the static texture behind him seems to be the same as the blood sample the US government took from him in the 1940s. He's bleeding.

We know from context that these images are meant to be taken somewhat chronologically. After dying (or nearly dying), Bill seeks out the Axolotl, who sends him to the Theraprism. While there, he writes the journal that he's beaming to us. The staff at the Theraprism catch onto this, and allow him to write out the last few pages, meaning those last few pages are chronologically the last of Bill we see.

This means that, after the events of the show, Bill was shattered... and then, upon entering the Theraprism, started to heal, his body coming together and scars forming... but at some point afterward, he started breaking apart again.

I'd made a post previously about Bill's development, how he views himself as a monster after the Euclidian Disaster, and how he continues to act monstrous afterward (and winds up agonizingly lonely as a result). I didn't really touch on this in the post, but I feel like after inadvertently destroying his home dimension...

Bill never left the denial phase of grief.

I could be wrong on this, but I get the feeling that part of his reason for acting monstrous toward just about everybody is because he sees himself as a monster, because "this is just how I am" is easier to accept than "I really really screwed up."

Bringing this back to his shattering... It's interesting to me that after entering the Theraprism, his body is scarring, which means it is healing. But then, at the end, as he's signing off the book, he's shattered again, and looking even worse than he did when talking to the Axolotl. When talking this over with a friend, they pointed out something that struck me:

Bill does not want to heal.

Healing means having to actually think through what happened. It means having to confront his past, confront destroying his home dimension, confront the harm he caused to others, confront the fact that he did not have to be this way.

And he refuses to do that.

He refuses to heal.

[galadrieljones]

It speaks volumes when Lavellan calls Solas a "terrible liar" in the Cobbled Swan. Rook is, of course, confused by this. "He's the god of lies," she says. But Lavellan clarifies, because that's not what she means. She means that he can't tell "lies of the heart." That is why he had to turn her away, because he actually could not deceive her.

Varric, very early in the game, also refers to Solas as "sentimental." He says to Rook, "He could burn the world down, and the thing that would make him cry is a single flower with blackened petals."

There's something very interesting about the elven god of lies and deceit, who unwillingly wears his heart on his sleeve, essentially creating a new version of the world in which all sources of raw, magical *emotion* that, according to him, used to imbue it with so much life and beauty have been compartmentalized from the more brutish, harsh aspects of the physical world. Because he, himself, has had to do this very thing to his own heart. He's "split." A very cool archetype. When he tells the Inquisitor to "harden her heart to a cutting edge" in Inquisition, he is projecting. Solas has built a "veil" within himself, to protect his more stern, militaristic identity as The Dread Wolf from the effusive, soft, and intelligent man that is Solas. It's the only way he can get anything done. Perhaps we should more aptly call him the god of stoicism and compartmentalization.

It's also interesting how well characters like Varric seem to know Solas, because it communicates that Solas did open up to the people of the Inquisition, during which time he "played the role" of quiet, unassuming Fade mage. Perhaps this wasn't a role at all, however, and perhaps this is why he is failing so spectacularly now. Who he really is is just this man who fell in love and made friends and found a home within a community where he did not have to cut off his emotions in order to lead. This was the "breach" in his plans, so to speak. It tore his world apart.

The whole story of Veilguard actually starts because Varric knows he can appeal to Solas's emotions and that this has a high chance of working to some degree. It's important to remember that while Varric didn't change Solas's mind at the ritual site, he was able to keep Solas talking long enough for Rook to sabotage his plans. Solas entertains Varric's pleas, because, sort of as Rook guesses with Lavellan at the Cobbled Swan, in some ways, Solas wants to be stopped. He wants someone to pull the reins on him because he is too prideful to stop himself.

Thinking back to Trespasser, I remember we all sort of knew this right away just in reading his body language. I remember someone making a whole post about it, and how he will not allow her to get too close to him. When she approaches, he takes a very measured step back. And later, as he takes the anchor, a task which requires him to take her hand, we see exactly why this is. He breaks down, calls her his "love," and kisses her. He is so stern and so measured and in "control," but then, all it takes is a single touch from the woman to whom he showed a glimpse of his true heart, his true self, to bring him to his knees.

The Veil as a narrative manifestation for how Solas tends to seal his own raw emotions away from others in order to function as the revolutionary general he had to be for centuries is a very beautiful construct to me.

[corvidcrossbow]

~•♡•~ I Like It Long

➳ Summary: While out on a run, you and Michonne start lightly teasing Daryl for having his hair grown out. But there's a hidden reason as to why he won't cut it. (Daryl x Fem!Reader)

➳ Setting: Alexandria, post Savior war

➳ Word count: 1.4k

➳ C/W: Just smut n hair pulling

➳ A/N: This spawned from me writing the context plot of another fic and I was like… wait (And thank yall for the attention on that Mother's Day post??? Yall are so sweet 😭🫶)

My hair is really similar to Daryl's when it's partially or almost dry and it's actually my favorite thing about myself like xbsosjdjdneisnsiasjebeiisjabajissn

You loudly banged your forearm against the glass door of a long abandoned drug store, not hearing any noise inside. Vines and weeds had grown through cracks in the concrete, winding up the sides of the building.

“Sounds pretty clear,” You shrugged, holstering your bow and opting for hand-held blades as Michonne pulled open the handle. You, her, and Daryl were clearing through a nearby town while out on a supply run, opting to make quick work of the task in favor of getting home.

You three entered the building, keeping your guard up in case of any straggling walkers that weren't roused by the initial attempts to lure them towards you. The interior wasn't large, so you could comfortably split off from each other and still be close.

“Seems mostly ransacked. Not much left,” Michonne commented, katana lowered but out in front of her. This had begun to grow repetitive and boring, energy matching the grayness of the lighting.

She took a pair of hair cutting shears off the shelf in front of her, holding them up to your gaze a few isles over. “Think he could use these?” She asked as a smile played the edges of her mouth, nodding back towards Daryl, looking for mischief. His hair had grown quite long over the course of the last two years, the tawny blond darkening into a rich brown, accompanied by a shaggy cut.

“Oh definitely. Jus’ gotta determine which onna us can hold him down long enough to cut it,” You replied with a chuckle, eyes following hers to where the archer stood at the endcap of another lane.

“Shuddup, will ya?” Daryl scoffed, shaking his head with grunt. His gaze didn't break from the advertisement in front of him, trying to ignore your antics. “Ts'fine.”

“Gotta make use of whatever supplies we find, no?” You continued your teasing, trying to hide the grin on your face at his reaction. “You were sweatin’ like a pig all summer, hair tangled all over yer face ‘n what not. When was the last time you cut it?”

“Don’ kno’, don’ care,” He grumbled, and you eyed Michonne again. It's definitely been since the prison, at least. He moved on from the stand. “Plus, winter up ‘ere's gon be colder. Will keep me warm.”

“Daryl, you're ‘bout the only one who didn't freshen up since we got to Alexandria. Don't you at least want a trim?” Michonne pestered, raising her eyebrows at him and shifting her weight to one leg. “You remember Rick's whole hobo-beard.”

“Ain't got no ‘hobo-beard’.”

“But you do look like the only ‘scissors’ you know is the recently searched on your go to porn site,” Michonne chaffed, barely able to contain herself.

Daryl froze for just a second, face flushing as his head whipped to stare back at her. And you two burst out laughing, to which his expression soured.

“Give it up, alrigh’?! Ain't nothin’ wrong with mah hair!” He snapped, accent thick with embarrassment, bowing his head slightly in an effort to obscure it. He readjusted his hold on his crossbow. “Gon shoot tha botha ya.”

“Ay, ay! Jus’ sayin’. Rick scrapped the beard and… maybe you'll finally get some play too,” She winked, followed by a lighthearted snicker.

Daryl groaned again and rolled his eyes, beginning to walk off, but caught your gaze for just a second.

It's not that he didn't want to cut his hair - he didn't care about it – but he wasn't really allowed to either way. There was one major, sexy, moaning reason he didn't cut his hair.

❥-》》—————➣

“Oh, god, Daryl! Fuck! Don't stop… god don't stop,” You cried out, hands clutching his shoulders as your nails began to dig into his flesh. His grip on your hips was bruising, keeping you steady as he pounded up into you at a relentless pace. That grip was the sole thing grounding you in the reality of the present moment.

“Ain't gon stop,” He affirmed, voice gravelly. You moaned wildly, head weakly falling to his chest with exacerbated breaths, his own heaving against your temple. He leaned closer when he could, harshly sucking at your clavicle and boobs, leaving behind a litter of hickeys and little bites that colored you in reds and purples.

The springs of the bed beneath you sounded like they were gonna fold in on themselves, headboard sporadically banging against the wall as Daryl shifted down a little to hit into you at an angle, your clit brushing against him with each thrust. Your back arched overtop of him, shoving his dick into your belly.

“Baby, please… fhuuuckkkk.” You couldn't even think, every thought consumed by the feeling of him. The way he just destroyed you like it's an art he'd mastered, tip brushing against every sweet and sensitive spot inside you, walls desperately trying to cling on, balls hitting up against you, clit grinding on him, slickness coating his pelvis and your inner thighs, his clutch on you just so fucking strong.

You pulled yourself together, lifting your head to see him. His long hair was dark and dampened with sweat, matting up as it stuck to his forehead, obscuring part of his vision. But he was too focused on using you to fix it, didn't dare to remove his hands unless God willed him to.

You moved up, swiping it away, and his blue eyes instantly connected with yours, pupils blown with lust. He (somehow) sped up, starting to slam your hips up and down to meet him instead of just keeping them stationary, now just beating your cunt.

“Tha's it girl. Jus’ keep takin’ me good like tha’.”

His words made you shiver, and you partially fell forward again, nestling your face beside his and snaking an arm behind his head. Your fingers weaved through his messy hair, tangling at the scalp, then tugging harshly as another wave of pleasure ripped through you.

And he whined. There it is. His breathy gasps and grunts mingled with strained whines, and whimpers, as you pulled tighter and tighter at the roots of his locks. His face contorted, eyes nearly squeezing shut, that one vein bulging from his neck, directly on the verge of so much.

“Daryl… inside.., Dar-” You panted, cut off as everything went white and you hit your peak. Your whole body felt electrified, tensing, twitching, walls spasming, toes curling and claws clinging to his frame.

Daryl tipped over the edge almost immediately after, having just been waiting for you to cum first. He desperately pumped into you a few more times, before curving up once more and simultaneously ramming you down as he came deep in you, the warmth of his release spreading through your core, and he threw his head back with ragged breaths.

You were both left a sweaty mess, gasping for oxygen, feeling full and satisfied. Your muscles couldn't keep you up, and you collapsed onto him, loosening your hold at his scalp, his hold on your hips doing the same.

He recovered a bit quicker than you, bringing a hand up and brushing your own messy hair away the second he had the energy to do so.

“Ya alrigh’, sunshine?” He asked between hitches, hoping he hadn't been too rough. He soothingly rubbed his palm over the curve of your body where bruises were sure to form.

You nodded faintly, moving your head so you could breathe better, and you could feel him relax beneath you from the reassurance. He held you tenderly for a while, giving you time to regain your composure. Your eyes were closed in bliss. Few things beat the feeling of Daryl under you, rising and falling with his torso, hearing his low humming as he steadied himself – his softening cock still buried deep inside you, cum ever so surely beginning to dribble down.

You lazily remained in his arms, not wanting to deal with getting up, or the shower you two definitely needed. You took a strand of his hair, affectionately curling it around your finger like a tendril, then letting it go and repeating.

“Ya actually want me tah cut ma hair?” He eventually asked, thinking back to your light mocking from earlier, how you'd laughed as Michonne layered it on. It didn't matter much to him, he'd do whatever pleased you.

“Fuck no. Was just messin’ with you, Dixon,” You replied, kissing the skin of his collarbone right below you, and moving up to find his lips. “You know I like it long.”

The long hair suited him, he looked good with it. You loved to wash and play with it, brush and braid it while he laid in your lap. But mainly, it was easy to grab at, pull on – and close to nothing in existence sounded better than those whines and whimpers every time you did so.

©corvidcrossbow 2024. I do not give permission for my works to be copied, modified or adapted to other platforms. My work may be translated only if asked and with proof of given consent.

[leverage-ot3]

sophie and eliot are like WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THEIR PARENTS DEAR GOD (not you joyce you're doing great sweetie) (hopper can stay he's trying his best) (eliot is halfheartedly restrained from taking ted out behind the shed for a good ass beating)

hardison is delighted to influence the next gen of tech geeks

parker and el have some weird dynamic. they are both bad with social cues etc (autism swag + traumatic childhoods let's gooo). she makes el copies of her Human Interaction Flowchart Cards and el kind of has a crush on her

eliot makes el waffles from scratch because she deserves better than that procesed crap and you guys know it (parker and hardison do know it, they just think it's funny to rile him up). parker makes him let her have sprinkles on them (homemade)

max side-eyes every interaction between parker, eliot and hardison. it makes hardison sweat. why is a 14-year-old girl making him feel called out??? (parker thinks it's hilarious. she feed's max's chaos 100%) (she is really just gauging if three-person relationships can work because she knows her feelings for el are more than platonic and she still loves lucas)

nate and hopper butting heads to awkward stilted conversations pipeline

will sees hardison and eliot holding hands and feels warm. mike's brain short-circuts and he has a crisis in private

not sure where in canon this would take place. timeline shenanigains would have to ensue to make the st crew exist current day but yeah I'm 100% about this

I think eliot and the rest of the crew deserve to curb-stomp brenner's head and kick the rest of the scientists into the next decade. for fun.

can't decide whether the in-the-know adults start an international team. probably not- they want the lab to burn and then live their lives in peace with their children safe. their children, on the other hand, want crime lessons starting last week

nancy thinks parker is weird but appreciates the girlboss. sophie talks haircare with steve (he unironically takes tips and fuck you guys for laughing my hair is my signature).

stay with me guys, but a leverage stranger things crossover, where the leverage crew is called to investigate Hawkins Labs. I have no further information at this time, but consider it. 

[darling-flora]

feather

max x yn!singer - social media au

fc: sabrina carpenter

part 2 : HERE

notes: im sorry callum turner for making you the bad guy please forgive me 🤞 also in this world dua lipa is not a famous singer 👍 my first max smau let me know what ya think !!! ❣ rt's are appreciated !!!

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enews

Liked by user1, user2 and 2,869,944 others

enews Y/n L/n and Callum Turner seem to of called it quits after two years of dating, only a day after Callum Turner was seen making out with mystery woman. Turner was seen with the woman the following day while L/n was seen at the airport headed for Monaco to visit friend Taylor Zakhar Perez who is filming a movie. ➡️

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enews Y/n L/n was reportedly sent picture of Turner and the mystery woman (Now identified as Dua Lipa) by friends and L/n reportedly packed all her belonging and had them sent to Monaco to stay with a friend. ➡

↳enews NEW INFORMATION !!! Callum and Dua were reportedly hooking up before Y/n L/n started dating Turner and after they made it official Turner broke things off with Dua Lipa ➡ ↳enews Dua Lipa was upset by the split and "she resented y/n for being with Callum, so when Callum was at a party that Dua was also at, she made it her mission to win him back"

user2 the fact that dua likes y/n's posts and has publicly complimented y/n's music..... im sick to my stomach for her omg

user3 he is actually so dumb for cheating on her for 1 but also CHEATING ON A SINGER SONGWRITER ??????

user4 emails i cant send deluxe & the next album is gonna go CRAZYYYY

user5 he never really seemed to give the same energy she gave....

user6 going to a different country after a break up is kinda real

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yourinstagram

Liked by taylorzakharperez, user1 and 9,559,944 others

yourinstagram It would be sooooo crazy if i moved to France 🤭

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user1 ITS BEEN A LIKE 2 MONTHS BABE WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?????

taylorzakharperez It's nice in Nice France 🤭

liked by yourinstagram

user2 MOVED TO FRANCE ???

whitneypeak an angel 😇

liked by yourinstagram

user3 making more songs to add to the album of the century ??

jennaortega pretty pretty pretty face 😍

liked by yourinstagram

user4 "Big is moving to paris" but it's "y/n' is moving to france"

user5 doing hot girl sh't !!

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dualipa

Liked by user1, user2 and 459,944 others

dualipa he’s sooooooo crazy in love with my brown eyes 💌

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user1 this just pissed me off

user2 the letter emoji..... yall need to hold me back

user3 you really thought you ate this....

user4 the caption ? stream obsessed by olivia rodrigo

user5 he also loved her blue eyes girl, you are not special

user6 right..... anyways

comments have been limited

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yourinstagram

Liked by maxverstappen, charles_leclerc and 10,559,944 others

yourinstagram I love Monaco nights, mornings in France with my babies Benny and Björn + a cute date night 🤍

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user1 HUH DATE ????

user2 shes on a date with me btw !!!

user3 the sheer white dress is eatttiinnngggg

user4 oh mother

user5 don't know if i wanna be you or with you ???

user6 y/n stays 🔛🔝 !!!

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deuxmoi

Liked by user1, user2 and 959,944 others

deuxmoi Y/n L/n a popstar who has moved recently to Nice, France after a messy break up. While the singer's been fairly private about the outings, she has been spotted around Nice and Monaco on dates with a popular athlete.

Who do we think think the singer is seeing ?

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user1 pics ???? proof???

↳user2 i know someone that works at a place they got dinner at but they didn't see who she was with, but she left with a bouquet of flowers soooo she could be with someone but we don't know who 🤷‍♂️

user3 its an f1 driver because they are coming off break soon....

user4 i think its max verstappen, like two weeks after they were at the same party his posts on insta changed..... like for the better yk the past few months his posts have been eatingggg

↳user5 not the girlfriend effect having an effect on his insta 😭

user6 i wont believe it till is see it 🤷‍♀️

user7 both max and charles are in her likes so who knows ??

user8 deuxmoi could be LYINGGGGG but we'll see....

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yourinstagram

Liked by taylorzakharperez, maxverstappen and 7,559,944 others

yourinstagram im so sorry for your loss... ❤😊

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user1 the "the kind of girlfriend God gives you young, so you'll know loss the rest of your life" tee is so cvnty omfg 🤭

user2 LYRICS ???? THE 3RD PIC ???

user3 there are so many layers to the first and last pic

francisca.cgomes cuties ❤

↳yourinstagram allllll you 😘

user4 face economy mama !!!!

user5 in love with youuuuuu

user6 soft launchhhhh 🤭

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maxverstappen Close Friends story

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charles_leclerc ??????

maxverstappen what ?

charles_leclerc nothing.... 😏

landonorris maxjpg when ?

maxverstappen i could consider it 🤔

yourinstagram we have 4 children....

maxverstappen it's a full time job 😭 maxverstappen quitting racing to become a stay at home dad maxverstappen a chubby stay at home dad

yourinstagram i fully support that 😊 yourinstagram a happy max is all i want!!

maxverstappen god i love you maxverstappen wanna go on a boat ?

yourinstagram love youuuuu 🤭 yourinstagram yes !!!! mr rich man lets go 🌊

maxverstappen you are also rich....

yourinstagram well.....

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max1.jpg

Liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 10 others

max1.jpg my jpg account is going to end up being a y/n fan page

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landonorris bros down bad

↳charles_leclerc Down tremendously ↳max1.jpg im not ashamed to admit it 🤷‍♂️

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YnLnUpdates

Liked by username1, username2 and 869,944 others

YnLnUpdates In a recent interview Y/n CONFIRMS EMICS Deluex Emails i cant send fwd: Out March 30th !!!! talks about moving to france, traveling and confirms she's in a relationship !!

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user1 her saying her cats are the most important stamp of approval.... she is so unserious i love her

user2 “Or someone was holding you back ?” the interview kinda ate with that 🤭

user3 i guess deuxmoi was right....

user4 her smile when she was talking about him 🥰 !!!!

user5 but who is he mama 🙄

user6 i mean we knew that, i just wanna know who he is 😫

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maxverstappen story

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yourinstagram no one will ever know i took these pictures 🤭

maxverstappen i regret to inform you my love, but people are already making speculations....

yourinstagram HUH ???? yourinstagram FROM WHAT ???

maxverstappen no clue honestly maxverstappen maybe the vibes of the pictures

yourinstagram really max... yourinstagram the "vibes"

maxverstappen yeah, they have "my girlfriend took these pictures and wanted to post them but because no one knows we’re dating she cant post them, so she posted them on my story instead” vibes

yourinstagram i didn't know that was a vibe that could exist

maxverstappen it is !! maxverstappen and those pictures have them

yourinstagram cant stand you sometimes...

maxverstappen sure 🤥 maxverstappen you on your way ?

yourinstagram leaving soon..... 🫣

maxverstappen cant wait to see your face 😘

yourinstagram 😭🫶 yourinstagram stoppp your cute 🤭 yourinstagram omw 🏎️💨

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yourinstagram

Liked by maxverstappen, charles_leclerc and 10,559,944 others

yourinstagram emails i can’t send fwd: is out now 💌 so is the feather music video !!!!! I’m very excited about these new songs and i hope u are too x love you all so much💗 tell me ya favorite part of the video!!

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user1 the way men never survive your music videos is so iconic

arianagrande wow wow wow the most talented girl !!! 🤍

↳yourinstagram ty ty !!! 😭❤

user2 things i wish you said and opposite HURT my feelings

whitneypeak HOTTIE !!!!!

liked by yourinstagram

user3 album of the century 😁

jennaortega ATEEEEEEE ❣

liked by yourinstagram

user4 feather is your next pop hit TRUST 🤞

user5 MOTHER 🤩

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MV1Updates

Liked by username1, username2 and 569,944 others

MV1Updates During a Pre-Season testing interview when asked how his break Max causally mentioned he has a girlfriend !!

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user1 them giggling 😭

user2 of course this is how we find out he's got a gf 😭

user3 you missed were he said "I talk about her so much it just slipped out"

↳user4 stop thats so cute omg 😭 ↳user5 when they are "public public" he's gonna talk about her every interview i just know it

user6 but who is it ????

user7 "i did? oh shit" is KILLING MEEEE

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maxverstappen1

Liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 1,201,933 others

maxverstappen1 P2 today 👊 A bit unlucky with the safety car but nevertheless, learned a lot and another One-Two finish. This is a very good team result here in Baku redbullracing SChecoPerez 💪

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user1 good race king !!!

yourinstagram i can feel a win coming in Miami !!

↳user2 Y/N ???? ↳user3 IS SHE GOING TO THE RACE ??? ↳user4 shes gonna perform in Orlando so i wouldn't be surprised if she went to the race !! ↳maxverstappen1 only Miami 😔 ? ↳yourinstagram is it to soon to say you'll win every race ? ↳maxverstappen1 Nope !! That sounds perfect !!! ↳user5 the flirting is gonna kill me ↳user6 chat is this flirting ????

user7 keep your head up 🦁👑

user8 MY GOAT

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YnLnUpdates

Liked by user1, user2 and 1,869,944 others

YnLnUpdates Y/n's speech after singing a cover of "Hopelessly Devoted To You". "What a pleasure it is to here today, I feel so lucky to be here in front of all you beautiful people. There have been so many changes in my life recently that have been a blessing in disguise, so i wanna say a huge thank you for sticking by me I'm looking forward to all the good to com, so thank you for everything love you" after the speech then pointed towards the vip tent; waved and then made a heart !!!

Who do we think the heart is for ? 👀

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user1 WHAT ????

user2 there were so many people in the vip tent we'll never know 😩

user3 seeing her happy after the last few months makes me so happy

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YnLnUpdates

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YnLnUpdates Y/n and Max Verstappen (HUH?????) share an embrace after Y/n's performance in Orlando !

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user1 WHAT ????

user2 the emoji 😭

user3 now we know who the heart was for 😮

user4 WHO KNEW HE HAD IT IN HIM ???

user5 NOOOOOOOOOOO

user6 wait this is actually CRAZY ???

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yourinstagram

Liked by taylorzakharperez, maxverstappen and 8,559,944 others

yourinstagram ORLANDO !!!! The biggest festival I've had the pleasure of performing at and the energy was insane !!!! The first time I got to perform songs from the deluxe and to hear you guys sing every word was a special moment 😪 THANK YOUUUU all for the love , love love love you alllll ❤

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user1 the popstar levels are out of this world 🌎

user2 YOUR MAN IN MAX ????

maxverstappen What a show😘!!!

↳yourinstagram thank you thank you 😊 ↳user3 this is still crazy 😭

user4 you KILLED it !!!

user5 the best performance i've got to go too EVER

user6 it was an honor to see your face on the big screen 🧎‍♀️

user7 NEED more songs like feather !! such a good song live 😫

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YnLnUpdates

Liked by user1, user2 and 869,944 others

YnLnUpdates Y/n's recent instagram stories!!

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user1 STOPPPP😭😭 they are so cute

user2 the cat.... he's so real

user3 #NEEDTHAT is CRAZZZYYYY (same)

user4 "who's this diva" oh she loves that man... 🥰

user5 crying watching max win is what i do too !!

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MV1Updates

Liked by username1, username2 and 569,944 others

MV1Updates During Max's post race interview, Max was asked what it was like have Y/n L/n in attendance "It's nice to have her at a race, I've wanted her at a race for a while and our schedules finally lined up, [....] hopefully she'll come to more, [....] it gives me extra motivation to win, I wanted to impress her (laughs)."

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user1 he was sooooooo smiley talking about her omgggg 😫❤

user2 the way they giggle and blush when they talk about each other is so cute 🤭

user3 can't wait for they love songs !! he's so in love

use04r love this for him !!

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f1gossip

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f1gossip Max Verstappen and popstar Y/n L/n were seen sharing a kiss while on a date in Miami after his win.

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user1 bro they've probably been together for MONTHS

user2 they are so cute together 😫

user3 LEAVE THEM ALONE 😭🙏

user4 that should be MEEE (with both of them 🤫)

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yourinstagram

Liked by taylorzakharperez, maxverstappen and 10,559,944 others

yourinstagram Orlando to Miami !!! and what a drive by max from P9 to P1 BABY so proud of you, can't wait to see you win again and again !!!! 🏆🥇🍾

(also if i see pictures of me CRYING during the podium TRUST you will hear from my lawyer).........

(kidding😙❤)

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user1 she's truly living my dream life

maxverstappen Are we gonna ignore how i told you that you were gonna cry and you called me a liar....

↳yourinstagram yes 😁 ↳maxverstappen I'm not gonna ignore that I was right ↳yourinstagram booking a different hotel room 🙄 ↳maxverstappen WAIT ↳maxverstappen I'm sorry ❤ ↳maxverstappen I'll make it up to you ↳yourinstagram 😏? ↳landonorris WHOAAAA get a room 🤢 ↳user2 ik they get DOWNNNNN

user3 this is kinda my superbowl ☺

whitneypeak living the life mama !!

liked by yourinstagram

user4 so pretty 🎀

lilymhe beautiful girl !! ☺

user5 max on the beach 😍

francisca.cgomes can max fight ? 😁

↳maxverstappen stop trying to steal my girlfriend.... ↳yourinstagram she already got me 😝

user6 max verstappen, i was not familiar with your game 😦

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

maxverstappen1

Liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 8,201,933 others

maxverstappen1 Simply… lovely!

What a great time in Miami, I would like to point out I am looking at yourinstagram in the second picture 👍 Had to put on a show with her watching. 😁

But a very strong race 🙌

Thank you, Miami - You have been great🌴

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user1 MY GOAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yourinstagram hot 🥵

↳yourinstagram gnawing at the bars of my enclosure 😩 ↳landonorris 🤮 ↳yourinstagram you always got something to say 😒

user2 STOPPPPP he's gonna talk about her every second.... i love it 😝

user3 i gotta know if y/n is the one helping with the pics...

↳yourinstagram only a little.... ↳yourinstagram he wants my stamp of approval on them ↳user3 i bet he likes it when you approve of all the pics ? ↳yourinstagram well yes 😗 ↳user3 someone likes praise...... 😁🤫

user4 he's really setting the standard!! obsessed boyfriend is just too good!

user5 the first pic 🤯 what a man

user6 i kinda need them both 🙂

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max1.jpg

Liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 1,335,690 others

max1.jpg best way to celebrate a win in miami is with you 🤍

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user1 im so single

yourinstagram love youuuuu 💞🌙💞

↳max1.jpg 😘😘

user2 BRO how did he bag Y/N L/N ?????

↳user3 he's a loverboy....

landonorris why don't you take pictures of me ?

↳max1.jpg you dont look like y/n and do what she does ↳landonorris okay i didn't need to know that.. ↳user4 😨😨 ↳user5 WAITTTTT HUHHHH????

user6 INSANE face card holyyyyyyyyyyy

user7 they are such cuties 🫶

user8 they’re truly the cutest couple 🥺

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

part 2 : HERE

[dcxdpdabbles]

Dani/Ellie as a member of YJ or Teen Titans.

The team is helping the JL with an all hands on deck apocalypse on earth. They are losing badly. She looks around herself, at the destruction all around her, squares her shoulders and says 'looks like it's time for the nuclear option... DADDY!!!!'

I didn't know if you've seen the post where a scary Danny got summoned instead of Klarion and everyone (heroes and villains) was getting ready to team up because of how scared/intimidated they were. That's the Danny I'm picturing answering his daughter's call for help. Maybe with an equally scary Fright Knight sword already drawn at his back.

The team was struggling with keeping the villains at bay. This was supposed to be a coordinated attack with the Justice Leauge, moving simultaneously on the other world.

Earlier yesterday, the Light had organized for reality to split apart, forming two worlds. One contains children, and the other includes adults, causing the opposite age groups to vanish before the eyes of horrified humans.

To the adults, their kids were taken in a flash worldwide. To children, their parents went missing in the same flash. It was chaotic, and if it had not been for Captain Marvel, they would have never figured out what was happening.

Dani was a little peeved that she was on the child's side, but despite being a princess of the Infinite Realms, her body technically did not form until four years ago. For all intentions and purposes, she is sixteen. So she stayed with Young Justice, following the kid's command and feeling alive.

She may request to be placed on the Team when this is all over. She sends an energy blast towards Klarion, watching the little Lord dodge with a laugh. He sends back a wave of magic that would nearly knock her out of the air if not for her gritting her teeth and digging in her heels within her ectoplasm.

She always hated dealing with the stupid Lord of Choas. They gave her Dad nothing but trouble whenever he called a court. Everything Danny suggested was a challenge on the grounds of attempting to "control" their disorder.

Honestly, Dani preferred dealing with them than the Lord of Order. They were a bunch of self-righteous uprights who didn't care about who was hurt in the process of their justice. At least the Lord of Choas admitted they were monsters.

Oddly enough, she was grateful Klarion wasn't treating her like the princess she was. It made work so much easier when he allowed her to attack him and vice versa.

"Echo!" Robin runs towards her, waving a hand. "Maneuver seven!"

She nods, abandoning her stance to shift her flight path into a large arch. Her hands clasp into a tight cup as she speeds back up into the air. Robin doesn't miss a beat, launching himself at her just in time to press his foot on her clasp hands, using them and her upward rise to launch himself clear across the field to land a mighty kick on Teekl.

It lets out a howl that quickly gathers the attention of the angered Lord of Choas. Seeing her chance, Dani fires more energy blasts, quickly forcing the witch boy into a defensive position.

She pinned him for a few seconds while Kid Flash raced toward the marking on the ground. Dani grunts to shift the ectoplasm in the air into a long beam, firing it straight at Klarion's shield.

A few cracks are forming around the dark red dome, and she is just about to break through when Teekl comes out of nowhere. A roar is the only warning she had before the blasted cat slams into her, claws digging into Dani's side, and she can only scream as the pair fall.

"No!" Kid screams somewhere behind her, but Dani can't turn since she is holding the claws of the large cat away from her and pressing into the ground to stop it from tearing her face off with its fangs. Its sneering face looms over her, snapping at the air, while her arms tremble with the force of holding the large beast at bare.

Getting her wits about her, Dani uses a ghostly wail to get the cat off her. Teekl is flung through the ai,r landing in a heap by Klarion's side.

The witch boy gasps, "Teekl!"

Dani heaves herself to her side, legs turn, and oozes a mix of red and green blood. Teekl had managed to claw at them during the fall, which meant she couldn't stand, let alone fight, for a good while.

Panting through the pain, Dani presses her hands to leg, attempting to put pressure on it. Her vision goes in and out as white-hot fire races up her legs and body. The Team struggles with an outraged Klarion just a few feet away from her.

Dani wishes, not for the first time, that she was a perfect clone of Dani. If she was, she would have all of his powers, including super healing and duplication. Instead, she sits like a heap, an utter liability to the team, as Klarion dances circles around them.

It pains her to do it, but Dani starts to drag herself away from the battle, realizing she needs to put space between herself and the danger. If the Witch Boy or his stupid cat realizes they can use her as a hostage, Dani will never live it down.

She is just about to drag herself to the tree line when she notices Zatanna raise her hand and speak in rapid-fire magic. A nearby bush drops its illusion to show a very familiar helmet. Dani's eyes widened in alarm, and she took it into her hands and slid it right on.

"Zatanna! Wait!"" She hears herself scream, but it's too late. The girl's body has become a vessel for Nabu, the champion of the Lord of Orders. She really hates those guys.

Zatanna rises into the sky, now dressed as Dr. Fate, flickering in and out of sight as the split realities mess with Nabu's anchor.

Klarion taunts him for it, seeing this as a chance to take down the ancient Dr.Fate, but Dani has other plans. Raising her hand, with every last ounce of strength she has, Dani aims one last good ecto-beam towards the crystal in the center of the spell runes.

It shatters the crystal in a thousand pieces, sending a shock wave of magic across the field. Klarion throws a fit, like the immature brat he is, before he calls back his stupid cat, and the two vanish into a portal. If Dani was feeling better, she would have chased after him.

Captain Marvel beams back into their reality, informing them the adult magic casters were all defeated by the Justice League. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief when Dr. Fate and Zatara med the two worlds back together

Superboy rushes over and leaves Dani in his arms, mindful of her wounds. She offers him a soft thank you, which earns her a grunt in acknowledgment. Not one for words, that Conner Kent.

She thinks about the Conner Kent of another universe, this one younger and more arrogant, running around in leather jackets and piercings but a Young Justice member all the same. One day, she should introduce the two. If the fabric of realities didn't fall apart upon their meeting.

Dani is snapped out of her thoughts when the pair get close enough for her to make out what Zatara is begging the Order Champion. Her mouth falls open as Dr. Fate refuses to leave Zatanna's body.

"Kent would never allow-"

"I have sent Kent Nelson's soul to the afterlife." Dr. Fate cuts off Kid Flash with what sounds like a coldhearted taunt to Dani. The way he uses Zatanna's voice makes her skin crawl.

"Take me," Zatara offers desperation in his voice. "My body is at its peak, my magic stronger than my daughters. Use my-"

"No!" Dani shouts, flailing in Conner's arms. Her ectoplasm boils in her veins when she points an accusing finger at the flowing Dr. Fate. "Nah-uh. This is against the law, and you know that, Nabu!"

"You know not what you speak of,child-" The ass tries, but Dani won't hear any of it.

"Long-term overshadowing of any living being is against Infinite Realms law." She sneers, facial features slightly less round and more uncanny with her anger. Around her, the Team is staring wide eyes.

Oh, right, this version of the Team has never seen her proper Phantom form. They only know Echo- named after being the copy of the great hero Phantom- who looked awful like her human form, just color flipped.

Her Halfa form was much more appealing than her entire ghostly appearance.

Dr.Fate crosses their arms. "Against a mortal will. This child willingly gave her body to me in exchange for aid in combat. I broke no law."

"Oh yeah! We'll see what the King has to say about that!" She screams, and finally, Nabu seems slightly worried, but it vanishes quickly as he jolts Zatanna's chin at him. Using her friend like some sort of meat suit.

The nerve.

"The King has better things to do than heed the call of an unimportant child." Nabu hisses, and yeah, she's going to make him pay for that.

"It looks like it's time for the nuclear option, just remember Nabu, the Lord of Order's Champion, you brought this upon yourself." Reaching out with a hand shaped entirely of ectoplasm, Dani launches a blast at Nabu.

The Team screams, Kid Flash's voice rising about the others. "No! Zatanna feels ever hit you land!"

"Echo, stand down!" Batman commands, but Dani doesn't pay them any mind as her attack lands against Dr. Fate's cross shield. She smirked, willing her glowing hand to rip a piece of the shield and fling it back towards her.

Conner nearly drops her as Dani slams the pieces into her leg, allowing them to cover up Teekl's magic. Wobbling her lips and letting the water fill her eyes, Dani lets out a whine and then a scream.

"Daddy, help!"

At once, the field is overflowing with death magic. Every living being in the area- including the animals in the forest- is brought to their knees as a fear unlike anything they have ever experienced digs its way into their very souls.

Conner falls to his knees dropping Dani in the process but she doesn't mind. She is too busy enjoying the way Dr. Fate's entire body has gone rigid as one glowing green eye snaps behind him. Zatanna small figure is no bigger then the pupil of the glowing eye, her body bath in the glow of it's green light and even the moon pales in comparison to the might of it's shine.

The eye quickly gainst a smile, stretched across a row of sharp teeth, then a second eye, a nose, and slowly Danny, King of the Infinite Rleams, forms in front of everyone's eyes.

The sweet smell of terror fills the air as Dani breathes it in.

Danny stares at the overshawed girl, eyes locked on Nabu who is resting just behind the layer of her skin, and glares. "You have brought harm upon my heir."

Nabu is too terrified to move, so Dani puts on a bigger show, letting tears roll down her face as she calls up, "He stole my friend too! He overshadowed her and won't give her back!"

Danny's face clouds with rage. "You have taken my heir's love. Release her."

Woah, hey now, no need to out Dani like that. Blushing, Dani ducks her head as Nabu quickly allows Zatanna to take off the helmet. Danny's large hand reaches towards the helmet, ripping out the spirit of Nabu, who wails in horror as the King drags him towards a portal. "You shall face trial for these actions."

"No! Mercy, your majestic, it was for the purpose of order!" The ghost cries, but his pleas fall on deaf ears as skeleton ghosts burst out of the portal, dragging the kicking and screaming ghost through. The portal slams closed with a loud crack, Nabu's screams echoing across the field.

Danny turns his large head towards the cowering group of mortals before the pointy-dark features of death melt away into a warm human face. It's a whiplash of change as the air shifts to comfort and personified sunshine when the King smiles. "Dani, I just wanted to let you know how proud I am you joined a hero team. Visit home a little more often and bring your friends."

"I will, Dad. Thanks." She beams back as Danny's large finger presses into her side, and his healing magic overflows her body. He does the same to all of her teammates and Justice League co-workers.

They are too petrified to move or thank him for the healing, but neither is Phantom Mind.

Danny nods, winks, and then vanishes like he was never there. Slowly, sound returns to the world- the leaves rustle in the wind, and animals begin to chirp.

"Well," Dani starts, climbing out of Conners's arms and dusting her outfit. "Who wants victory fudge?"

She gains a lot of round-eye looks, and when no one answers, she sighs, "I guess we can do victory pizza instead. But I demand one kind of sweet, or I'm going home to my father to complain."

[infamous-if]

✭INFAMOUS UPDATE IS HERE ✭

238K -> 457K WORDS

Please read this post before playing! It's finally here! After five months of writing and rewriting and salvaging and crying and sweating and bleeding I finally finished sort of kind of! Firstly, I want to thank you for your patience and understanding over this duration of this rewrite. It was stressful at times but I'm happy with the end result and I hope everyone else will be too :)

This will be the last chapter I release without beta testers/other sets of eyes so expect errors. I can playtest until my fingers turn blue but I'm just one person </3 I'm bound to have missed stuff.

Please let me know of errors! I tested it a few times with no problems but we know how it goes lol

IN THIS CHAPTER THREE UPDATE:

drama

mayhem

chaos

some betrayal

some surprises

just...read it lmao

PROLOGUE - CHAPTER 2 CHANGES:

**chapter two was too large of a file to upload on dd so I had to split it last minute and I uhhhh dont know how that translates in the demo but it should work lol please let me know if its wonky!**

fixed up grammatical errors and typos

expanded some scenes and added some more choices

you can now choose that your mc has "changed" in some way (drinking, no longer drinking, partier, no longer a partier, negative, positive, attached, detached, or a general default. I was asked to add an MC who "gets around" or hookups a lot but I'm still debating on whether I'll add that since there's already quite a bit lolol)

you can choose to have changed your band's genre before/after seven

TECHNICAL CHANGES:

you will be able to explicitly state your sexuality in the beginning. this was a big ask and I apologize for not doing it earlier! I wasn't good at coding when I started and I knew I always wanted to make the genders separate from MC's sexuality but I didn't know how to do that at the start :) So you can still choose the genders of the ROs for story purposes and variety. IF YOU DO NOT SEE ROMANCE OPTIONS THAT IS NOT A BUG. You simply chose a RO gender that doesn't correlate with the sexuality you chose for your MC. Having said that, if you do see a romance option available and it's not supposed to be there please let me know! That means I may have missed it coding-wise.

the stats have been all fixed! I've added all the necessary variables and such. The stat portion of the game has been updated with the appropriate pages but they're not finished. Still, the stats should be fine.

You will now have confessionals in the stat page! The feature still isn't a thing yet because I haven't come up with the confessionals lolol but you can click on it to see what it's about. Essentially, as you progress through the story you will be able to see confessionals from the cast of Infamous throughout. They disappear and appear periodically so if you miss it, THAT'S IT! You won't get a chance to see them again until MC watches an episode where it's relevant.

There is now a: Discography page, Infamous wiki, botb cast and staff page, and other characters page for organization. Those are not finished but they're there!

I changed a few stat names but their functions remain the same.

You will be able to choose how you would like to be described (masculine, feminine, neither, both).

O is officially gender-selectable.

You can set the genders of the ROs at the start or wait till you meet them.

PLAY HERE