#but I can recognize that my own beliefs should not control other people’s lives

[safety-pin-punk]

Not very punk to be antifeminist and deny male privilege and the fact that women are allowed to criticize their oppressors! But that's to be expected from the "be gay do crime🤪" heterosexual fujoshis who'd call the cops on women protesting abortion rights lmfao

Ohhh no 😱 the TERFs found my ‘I hate TERFs’ post. Tragic. Im so hurt. Im so offended. Im gonna go cry in a corner.

Bitch its not that I dont understand how systematic oppression works, I just have enough braincells to recognize that (1) hating people because of the genitals they were born with is as idiotic as hating someone because of the color of their skin and (2) feminism is based on the idea of equality, not flipping which group is oppressed. That would make you a dick, not a feminist

[ludiharambasha]

SNS is an awful pairing and I wish their fandom stopped pretending that Naruto genuinely cares about Sasuke. 

He does care about him, but in an incredibly twisted way. The Sasuke Naruto cares about isn’t really Sasuke, but rather a projection on Naruto’s part. An idealization of him that he tried to force Sasuke into living through. Very soon Sasuke stopped caring about their “rivalry” (if you can even call it that, as it is rather one-sided on Naruto’s part; there are a few instances where Sasuke expresses this “envy” of Naruto’s progress- but it isn’t envy projected at Naruto, but is more like a feeling of disappointment with his own lack of progress at that point in the story). But Naruto persists with this idea of how Sasuke ought to be and how he should behave, and this slowly progresses from a seemingly misguided yet well intentioned need to save him, to a story of a young man trying to make his ideological opponent bow down to his ideology. Sasuke is not defined by Naruto, but the opposite isn’t true. Naruto without Sasuke doesn’t exist, he is Naruto’s ultimate affirmation, what he strives for. Ironically, Naruto somewhat sees Sasuke as an extension of himself, as his first and best friend- and what happens when an “extension of yourself” attacks every belief and doctrine you hold? When Sasuke leaves Leaf and eventually decides to destroy it, it is a direct attack on Naruto’s (already very flimsy) personhood. When Sasuke ideologically challenges him, that is a direct attack on Naruto and his identity. Naruto then tries to reaffirm himself with his fixation on Sasuke’s “salvation”, as his “salvation” would affirm Naruto as a hero - someone worthy.  

Not a single thing Naruto does for Sasuke is selfless or genuine, it is always an attempt of Naruto defining himself through Sasuke. He never acts in Sasuke’s interest, from agreeing to hide the truth behind the Uchiha genocide, to trying to bring Sasuke back to a village where a man who wants Sasuke’s head is - Danzo. We learn this in the second arc of pt2, much before the revelation of the truth behind UCM. Sasuke returning to Konoha at that point might have meant his death, and Naruto learns this, but he is either too stupid to understand that , or he simply doesn’t care. Either way, it doesn’t really make a difference - Naruto is a danger to Sasuke either way. 

Why would anyone see such an unequal relationship as romantic? In straight couples in romance media people are usually able to recognize these abusive, manipulative dynamics. People usually make a big fuss when shows romanticize straight relationships in which one partner lives through the other and tries to control them - but when it is two boys in a non-romance setting, these red flags seemingly don’t flash?

Sasuke is a character that every other character projects their desires, goals and aspirations onto. Everyone tries to use or manipulate him in some way. Naruto is no different. If most sns fans can recognize that Sakura’s intentions towards Sasuke have ulterior motives, why can they not come to the same conclusion with Naruto? Naruto is, in my humble opinion, worse than Sakura in that regard, as his incessant need to control Sasuke has greater consequences for Sasuke.  

[wombatwisdom]

Thoughts from the Gather Conference

I want to take some time to engage with some of the speakers from the Gather Conference. I do want to share my thoughts with others, but mostly I'm doing this for myself. Also, my thoughts are based on my recollections of speeches I have only heard once and do not have the text to review, so everything is my paraphrasing and interpretation.

-------------------------------------------------

Charlie Bird and Allison Dayton spoke one right after the other on Day 2 of the conference and whether intentional or not, their messages paired nicely.

Charlie's address, entitled "Resolution through the Gospel of Christ" focused mostly on dispelling the myth of having to choose between being a child of God and a member of the LGBTQ+ community. He believes that the idea of needing choose is a lie and one that is held onto by traditional thinking. His call to arms was to actively choose both, be a child of God who is out and proud.

Allison Dayton's speech, entitled "Enlarge the Place of Thy Tent", was focused on reaching out to people in the "wilderness of life" and invite them into our tents. She was clear that the tent in her analogy is not the Church as an institution but rather the personal tent of our lives. She said, quite clearly, that we cannot do much about the church's policies of inclusion, but we can invite everyone into our circles of love regardless.

-------------------------------------------------

Potentially controversial take here, so fair warning.

To the outside observer these talks seem a bit toothless, especially when looked at from an activist lens. Enlarging circles of love and being out and proud children of God on their own seem like harmless and lackluster. If you are looking for monumental change, will either of these acts actually accomplish that?

I'm also not sure Charlie or Allison have alterior motivations here, they may not be actively trying shake things up, but my Machiavellian little soul can help but see something deeper going on here.

The church is often times miles behind when it comes to social change and obvious activism hardly ever results in much more than name calling. True change in the church comes from those in minority groups gradually carving out acceptance and many many many meetings with those in power. And since most of us won't sit in counsils with those in control, we must settle with carving out acceptance.

Here is where Charlie and Allison come in. There is something transgressive in what they are saying while still remaining technically within the doctrines of mormonism.

Charlie's approach feels similar to Harvey Milk's in the 1970's. Milk's philosophy was that everyone should be out in all walks of life to show that "average people" knew someone in the LGBTQ+ community. This was controversial at the time and still is now, but I can see the appeal of this approach. And I personally think there was some success in the normalization of a very specific type of "queer person" in the mainstream.

Charlie's proposal directly confronts the belief that some Mormons hold that the LGBTQ+ community is somehow not part of the Momron community. Or that we shouldn't be. And I do think that being out, at the very least, would force people to recognize we exist and we are unavoidable.

Allison's approach is different but reaches a similar outcome (and can be practiced by Allies and LGBTQ+ folks). By encouraging people to expand their circles of inclusion she is subtly disrupting the status quo in Mormonism. Ultimately she is proposing a grassroots movement, first of love and support, that if grown large enough might force larger change.

-------------------------------------------------

Now again, this is my inference and thoughts. And both of these approaches are very quiet forms of activism that don't ask for very much and deliberately indirect. This is, if it is anything, the long game.

I think I wanted to share this because often this type of advocacy is either dismissed entirely by critics or is easily missed by those looking for it as the advocacy is implied rather than stated.

At the end of the day, advocacy in this space is controversial, difficult, and messy. And while imperfect--i think that there is at least hope to be had. Because even if change doesn't come, Charlie's and Allison's visions will still be vital in building community which is always needed.

[machinesbleedtoo]

Cluster B personality disorders are manageable, actually

it's always really awkward trying to explain to people how i manage antisocial + narcissistic personality disorder well. people have a really hard time wrapping their head around the concept that We Are People and like any disorder, we can manage it with help. there's this belief that if you're a narcissist or a psychopath you're unworthy of love and a lost cause, which is what made me a monster in the first place. other people kept telling me to just be empathetic, to stop being a dick, etc; i didn't know what that meant, and so i decided other people were the problem because they did nothing but explode at me for what i thought was no reason because no one helped me understand the reason. I was meant to just "know".

i was diagnosed retroactively at 20-fucking-7, when i'd started to work out how to live like a normal person (very patient and loving friends were to blame for that). when i was thirty years old, a psychiatrist said to me: "you obviously have feelings, what do they look like for you? how do they feel?" - i didn't know how to answer him. other people had convinced me i didn't have feelings for most of my life. which is part of why i was a callous bastard - it did not help then (but it does now for the most part) that i'm really good at compartmentalization. it took me a good number of years to know how to answer his question.

i have feelings, yes; we all do. we'd be dead otherwise. they're what drive us to act on things, and the neurotransmitters that work on emotions work on physical functions as well. this assumption about a person is not an excuse to abuse them. it's no excuse to treat them like a catharsis piñata. you could be a monster, too, under the same circumstances as i or anyone who has these disorders far worse than i do.

but it's really hard for me to read myself. it takes a lot more of a feeling for it to break the surface than is normal, and i was never taught to identify what a feeling is catered to my own uniqueness (something everyone should be afforded).

and i have a disconnect between physical and emotional reactions - i didn't think i felt disgust, because i don't get a visceral response to gross things. a lot of my emotions are just different shades of anger. if something disgusts me i get an angry "get the fuck away from me" feeling, i don't gag or whatever. it does set off my diagnosed OCD in some instances, which adds anxiety to the mix.

so i'd do things like be mega stressed and not feel it, then explode outwards like a neurotic control freak because i had no idea what my limits were. or how to solve the problem i was presently facing. i had to train myself to notice the signs in my thought patterns, rather than my body.

it turns out emotional empathy is based on context; how am i supposed to react "normally" to people when i don't know what "normal" is? i used to do some awful things to people when they were experiencing fear because i didn't understand it. i thought it was quaint. in the words of a friend, i was "sciencing the shit out of the situation." i didn't get answers or understand how people worked the healthy way, so i resorted to my own measures (which, of course, did not give me the answers i sought either.)

i have a hard time telling positive and negative emotions apart, which is good in some ways - i just let myself feel things. but the feelings last not very long. and are usually delayed. i'm unable to consent to things as a 34 year old adult normally, because when presented with something i don't care, which does not mean i want it. and because i don't care, i don't know it's a "maybe" at the time. when something bad happens to me it takes me a long time to even realize, and i can't purge it. this is my burden to bear - other people cannot read my mind. but a mental breakdown would be cathartic.

to deal with this botched brain of mine, i recognize it has strengths too. i raised a very well behaved cat, because i am more uncompromising than she is. and she is not afraid when i take her to the vet, because i am a source of emotional stability for her; i'm not reactive, so it calms her. i am able to Persist doing things that are unpleasant like trimming her ass hair, and she's allowed to vent - scratch, yell, bite - and i stay Null and it's over and she doesn't hide or run away because a) she was allowed to express the discomfort b) it was over quickly, which it wouldn't be if i let her carrying on make me stop the ordeal.

i am able to spot an anxious person from across the room. i was exploited a lot when i was young, and so it felt natural to exploit other people in vulnerable positions - something i mistakenly thought i was incapable of. i was always so good at spotting them with this predator brain of mine.

but i started to instead ask those people if they are okay. at first it felt insincere and bad and stupid because i wasn't Allowed to show care for other people, because psychopaths don't do that, because it's always mean spirited or fake when they do. but it became a habit. and it became normal. and it became a strength of mine. i do it because it's the right thing to do - i don't personally have to feel emotional about it for that to be real.

i am able to admit mistakes and apologize because i know when i need to, since my brain cycles through a narcissism spiral, and it's like -- bitch if you're reacting that severely you know you're wrong. it was another thing that sucked and felt insincere to begin with, but with practice it got easier. and with practice it caused me less discomfort. when my brain says arrogant things i respond with citation needed. my neuroscience education certainly helps with my perspective reorientation too.

i'm heavily medicated for these disorders + ADHD + OCD, which helps curb the anger and impulsiveness. i am really good at working with people now - these things being managed and my clinical nonplussed nature makes communication easy. i am able to de-escalate situations well, too.

i've had people apologize for crying, but i was so focused on listening to them i didn't notice - so they didn't have to feel bad about it. because i don't care that they're crying. i care about them. an intellectual sense of care is something everyone carries; it's what makes us choose to be patient, to listen, to mitigate the damage emotional reactivity can cause.

i have high cognitive empathy; i might not react to the emotional state of another person, but i know that my read on the situation will be inaccurate. so i simply ask them what they need, without assumption. this is something i wish more people were able to do. i get very uncomfortable with platitudes, personally - because i just can't relate to them at all and i feel pressured to Perform emotionally. that's just one example of different needs.

there's a lot more i could write about here - and i'm not really sure why i decided to write this now. i guess because the world is very painful lately, and these disorders get used as insults, as armchair diagnoses of people we don't like. there's a myriad of ways to be an asshole. maybe don't contribute to the problem of neglect that creates monsters like the one i could have become.

i am no longer 'a psychopath' because i no longer score on the checklist. but i carry these disorders with me, and i will forever, and i'm grateful that there were people in my life despite it all that loved me anyway.

a disclaimer:

i'd hazard against self-diagnosing these things; you might be on the autism spectrum (most of my close friends are, because we compliment eachother quite well in how our brains work), or have psycopathy-like traits during manic episodes, or have a lack of empathy because of apathy. you might have alexithymia from other causes. etc. i was assessed by both a psychiatrist with a criminology degree and one specializing in personality disorders.

[deafeningbelieverdreamland]

Everything cats! Learn how human like felines and straight up anthro and other variants go through their lives in my Omegaverse headcanon!

Now an interesting little thing about cats is that they can detect at least a week in advance when someone’s about to go through a heat/rut due to their incredible sense of smell. Sensing even the slightest of changes in one’s scent. This also helps them detect how many people where near the other person. So best try not to cheat on them. They’ll know if you’ve been rubbing up against someone else. The only case where they wouldn’t recognize it is if it were any of the tyrant species as they have no scent until a certain point. Now this species like many human and other species doesn’t really have a breeding season and it’s more of on a regular cycle. The chances of them entering a heat/rut though are definitely more frequent though. Now this mainly is more of for smaller cat species and not so much the bigger cats like lions and such. Smaller cat species can naturally have up to 12 kittens but typically have around 4-6 at a time. This number also heavily depends on the amount of partners they had. An interesting thing though is that this species has strong ties to moon cycles. No one’s entirely sure why as they don’t seem to need it for navigation but some believe it can manipulate genetics. Controlling the factor of how catlike the kittens will be. Still speculation but definitely a popular belief. Some will even try to induce labor early just to have em during a certain moon phase. The fuller the moon the more catlike they’ll become. Alphas for this species tend to have multiple designated dens spread out from each other. Alphas are extremely territorial and will absolutely mark whatever enters as theirs so be prepared. The omegas really only create a nest when they’re pregnant and will most likely only nest during this time. However never attempt to get near an omega that’s nesting unless you wanna leave with some permanent scars. Partner or not. The betas though tend to have a lot of bedrooms they use as space and are pretty cool with you entering so long as ya give em a heads up. Always allow a cat species to sniff ya first upon a first meeting they tend to be a highly cautious species by nature. Definitely do the same if you have been around people they don’t know. They’ll think they’re being ganged up on. The strong sense of smell definitely has a disadvantage because of the anxiety it can create. Get kittens used to being surrounded by many different scents early to avoid have major anxiety issues later down the line. All cat species tend to have retractable claws including the more human like ones so just because their nails seem short doesn’t mean you’ve seen the full length yet! Cheek rubbing is a primary way they spread their scent due to having bigger scent glands located there. They’ll often rub their cheeks with their hands and then use their to mark things they own and such. Those are all the interesting quirks for this species I could think of off the top of my head but as always be sure to ask me any further questions about em or to request another species I should do!

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

I’m supposed to be a Hindu but, I don’t think I ever believed in god ? At some point, it just clicked. I was like ‘wait. i don’t believe in gods.’ And I was fine with it for a while but now I’m starting to get scared. What I god actually exists? I don’t believe in it, but I’m starting to get paranoid. My dad is an atheist, so it’s not like I’m scared in that sense. And I probably might be gay ? When I told my mom I know that gay people exist I was expecting yeah ok anyways, but my mom was like ‘Gay people are unnatural!’ When I discovered that gay people existed I didn’t think that there was anything wrong with it? I thought it was just normal. And some years after that , I think a year ago, I had to make a social project with Barbies but I didn’t have a male barbie, so I used a female one, and my sister was like ‘there can’t be two moms!’ And I said ‘maybe there can be one mom and one aunt?’ And mom overheard and she said ‘No!only a mom and dad should raise a child!’ . I still feel weird thinking about that moment. My mom isn’t really abusive or anything, she’s fine compared to other parents in India who eat their children, but she still always reflects her anger on me and my mom and dad fight a lot over the stupidest shit! I’m also over weight, and I’m not really bullied for it or anything, but I’m sort of shamed about it from time to time and I’m so done. I can’t live peacefully since I need to go to school, then immediately tutoring, then bam! The day’s over! Repeat I guess. I know I’m better off than most people, but I feel sick of this stuff sometimes.

Sorry to hear that. It sounds a total cliche, but things really do get better. When you're an adult, you get to set your boundaries, make your own rules and decide for yourself what your life will be like. The important thing is to just get through this part to the other side where you get to be in control of your own life.

There's nothing natural about humans wearing pants, bowing and whispering to statues, nailing each other to planks of wood, virgin births (Jesus, Krishna), traveling faster than 30 miles an hour, or keeping their food in refrigerators. Natural or unnatural is a distraction and beside the point. I mean, isn't her entire belief system based on the supernatural?

If you're having trouble and encountering fear, I think the most helpful thing you can do is figure out exactly what it is you're afraid of. That can help you name it and deal with it and move on. Fears are often hidden underneath a bunch of psychological crap. Silly thinking that you might not even be aware is happening. But once you dig down into it and drag it out into the light, it's often not as sensical or coherent as it seems from within your fear.

There's a tool I heard of call "The 5 Whys," and it's exactly what it sounds like. You start with what you think is going on, and then ask "why?" to that, and then "why?" to that answer, and so on. They say that it takes about five "why?"s to get to the the core issue.

For example, it might look like:

"I'm afraid." "Why?" "What if I'm wrong and there are gods?" "Why?" "They might punish me for eternity" "Why?" "Because I'm gay" "Why?" "Because the scripture says so" "Why?" "Because stupid people wrote it thousands of years ago. Oh. Right."

There's also nothing that says you have to stop at five.

Often, the only thing you can do is make peace with who people are and their limits. And recognize that you can't make your happiness conditional on the approval of other people, especially those who are incapable of giving it.

The reality may be that you might not be able to change or convince your mother. Sometimes we just have to come to terms with that and adapt, remembering that she's a victim of the ideology of her faith too, like a form of religiously acquired Tourette's, psychosis or autism poisoning her mind, or a leash that limits her and prevents her from coming along with you. That's not your fault, nor is it your problem to solve. Be open to the possibility, but don't expect or count on it. You have to live your own life.

My advice is to focus on and plan for the future. What your life can be when you're in charge of it.

[hanszoe]

typing up a script, but here's raw dialog in the meantime since i have some notes

Soldier: Hey! What's wrong, Oliver!? Solider: Hold on-

i said this before, but it's a silly thing this soldier says. the guy is obviously dead but they're running to him and saying like "get it together/pull yourself together/hang on"

Hansi: All the pursuers have already gone…

hansi is speaking childishly here. they say いなくなった which literally means "became not [here/around]", it's passive so it's not only a lie of omission but also this is the kind of thing you would say to a kid who was scared of something to comfort them. もう carries something of this feeling, i translated it as "already" but the unsaid feeling is like [so there's no need to be afraid anymore]. and since levi isn't conscious, they are quite clearly not talking to him.

Hansi: Levi...

Hansi: Everyone was made into titans, but you alone survived. It must be for the same reason you're still alive with these injuries. Because you're an Ackermann.

Hansi: What... kind of a situation is this (like "what should [we/I] do in this situation"). We can't stop Zeke ourselves... [we have] no choice but to leave it to Armin or Commander Pixis... if* Eren betrayed Zeke, since the Jaegerists control this island** with the spinal fluid, we [will be] fugitives of this island** for the rest of our lives

*the feeling here is like hansi's speculating this could happen, they don't know so they use 例えば (i think, don't quote me on this)

**i only just realized, but hansi seems to use this term in an ideological way? it's not just this conversation but i can think of many other times. refusing to call it eldia or paradis, to recognize it as a place named by the people here or a country in its own right, but simply "this island".

Hansi: ...Maybe/probably [my] turn has come. Hansi: Even if [I] myself acted with the belief/intention that [I] was doing the right thing... the time changes and [I'm in] prison.

i'm starting to feel hansi's use of either using or omitting sentence final particles or creating noun describing clauses is actually indicative of how they think about something, for example in this dialog alone so far they've stated "fugitives of this island" and literally just "prison" like this. to approximate it in english it would be like

"If [this happens] ...fugitives of this island." "If [this happens] ...prison."

so it's like a wholly objective arrival at some outcome or scenario, hansi's own logical thinking rather than their feelings, and i've said it before but keep that in mind for their dialog later

Hansi: Rather [than that], should the two of us live here Hansi: Huh... Levi

actually pulling up some of my old unpublished discussion of this line:

speculative そう. it softens it so much it's ridiculous. (as in, this is not even a statement of hansi's personal desire, but is speculative). "Seems like [this is a situation where] [I, one?] [would] rather live here (lit.) as two people?" (soft question. how to describe this... it's not like a full question). but it becomes more of a question when hansi unseriously extends it to "Huh/isn't it" "Levi". even levi could be the subject of this speculative sentence

tsuki no ura went on an amazing rant about いっそ recently. personally i think "rather" is fine enough contextually but indeed you can't use this for casual "rather" ("would you rather have tea or coffee", actually i think there is no similar word for that)

also ねぇ… リヴァイ "huh/hey, levi" is some hansi trauma to me, kind of makes 132 worse to know there is another time they said this and didn't even want a response from him, it adds to their saying it in 132 that's like though hansi might use levi's name they aren't even talking to him, they already know what he would say but they're going through the motions

Hansi: Just now... it can't be... Eren is... the world... Hansi: Levi!!

Levi: Where... is that fucking beast bastard...

Hansi: You don't have to get up. Zeke went to Shiganshina with the Jaegerists. About half a day has passed since then. Hansi: Just... what happened? (like what possibly happened)

Levi: I messed up...

kind of surprised to note levi uses a somewhat soft word to say this, ヘマ. i guess this actually might be because it is self-judgement, he's not being harsh exactly because he is the subject in question

Levi: Without being able to tell... that he... had the resolve to choose death... Levi: I... let him get away again...

Hansi: (lit.) [You] must be overwhelmed [to an unendurable extent] with regret [that you were careless].

i see levi's actions leading to this moment debated endlessly, but this is an extremely short response doing nothing more than rephrasing what he told them with 無念 (which means regret as a result of carelessness/failing to consider something. he was careless, and zeke got away). it's less about whether his actions were right or wrong, but more about why is hansi saying this. their concern is the only thing they're thinking of, why they say たまらない ("unendurable"), because what they're focused on right now is the fact that levi wants to go after him again, "your regret must be unendurable", when that's not what they want. what hansi says here is acknowledging but completely dismissing him.

Hansi: But right now- Levi: If we... run and hide this way... what will be left?... Hansi: What, were you able to hear me talking to myself?

hansi uses the form of the verb meaning capability, what they suddenly think is not "you were listening/heard me" but that "you were able to", that they failed to notice that, considering there are two separate panels of hansi checking to ensure he can't hear them for them to feel comfortable talking to themself.

Levi: What are you... fucking making? Is it that... you thought you'd pull me on that... with a horse?

there's no "rude/derogatory accusative verb modifier" in english that's between unmodified and "fucking", i think やがる here is a little less severe than "fucking" but i've only known levi to use it when he's genuinely upset about the act in question. honestly no idea why he's using it here, i think he's just mad at them (or maybe them using the hammer was loud and he couldn't sleep? it's such a ridiculous thing for him to say)

Levi: There's no way... you [will] be able to sit around meekly... outside of everything going on.

Hansi: Ah... (lit.) [because] it's that way. I can't.

hansi saying できない feels the same way to me they said earlier about "fugitives" and "prison", some objective statement. i talked about it briefly before.

[pudgiehedgie]

Abuse and Authority

I hope whatever partner you end up with never needs/wants an abortion. I hope you never end up stuck with a kid you don't want or won't love. When people dont want or resent their kids for "stealing their lives/youth away," they tend to become abusers because they feel like a victim.

>Personal story because my beliefs and worldview was shaped strongly by resentment and abuse I received from others. My sister started to abuse me as a teen because she resented constantly being blamed for our fathers failures as a spouse and parent. Our mother abandoned us because she couldn't take the abuse she had been suffering at the hands of her spouse since she was 17. Since then, my mother hasn't reached out to me once on her own, and last responded to me over a year ago. I'm stuck back with my father due to the mental health issues I've faced since i was a 10 yo, he's still abusive. My sister is kinder but still doesn't entirely recognize the role she had in abusing me as well.

I was abused for simply being a child that existed. I was also told by both parents, who abused and abandoned me and my sister, that we were wanted and loved.

Who is it that teaches a child how to hate? They learn through the mimicry of their parents, teachers, and peers that need to control what people think, say, or do. Kids that need to figure out what your conflicting ideas of what love should be. Typically, these issues stem back to when an abuser was a kid, being exposed to the wrong attention from watching a personally respected figure belittle and abuse others, then learning to believe that abuse is love.

Being abused and then turning around to abuse others (even verbally) doesn't make you stronger. It only makes the people you're trying to reach more resentful of your hollow and hypocritical message.

You will ultimately breed more kindness by understanding the emotions and environment that produces hateful viewpoints and not giving into that anger. If you feel attacked by what i am saying, then please reflect on what my message is and how it reflects in your own life.

You may unintentionally hurt the people you love by not listening to them. Feeling guilt is not a bad feeling. it's a reflection of your own empathy and will help you grow kinder, we're all stuck on this shithole planet right now. Let's cooperate instead of hate.

This goes both ways because anyone can be an abuser. Women can abuse as much as men can.

[kledface]

One of the harder things I've been trying to do is learn how to not just accept myself, but love myself. If you know me, and my past, im sure you can understand that this isn't an easy thing for me. I've lived surrounded by hateful people who have a habit of seeing the bad in everything and are also rather manipulative. This means i don't have a great sense of, not necessarily right and wrong, but truth and lies, and that i also see all the bad in me. Mom has made some growth, but that doesn't means she's perfect, and some days i don't know which version of her im talking to until she starts heavily suggesting im a demon again or starts rambling about reptilians. These are both actually rather intense triggers for me, and im not proud of it, but just starting to thing about the reptilians is starting to make me panicky, and part of my journey is learning to respect myself for what brings me shame.

I am a man who has lived an uneasy life. I don't have a strong sense of trust in certain matters. I tend to have issues relenting control, which is a serious problem i've been working on. I have a number of unusual fears and beliefs. Some things in my life have been genuinely traumatizing where no one would expect trauma should be able to be formed. When was the last time you heard of someone who had emotional flashbacks because someone accused obama of being an evil alien? I have an unusual set of things which i can and cannot stand. I can't take a compliment because they always feel backhanded or ingenuine and gifts make me feel in debt to the giver, but feel free to beat the shit out of me i genuinely don't care. As my journey involves learning to respect these differences, it means not beating myself up when i find myself unable to match others. It means stepping outside of myself and hearing the negative voices and correcting them, and talking to myself like i would a close friend; no, i am not a failure because someone calling me pussy makes me want to cry when any other vile shit just makes me laugh. You've seen this specific word used in a way hat was specifically designed to hurt you for the ways you arent like others. Your pain is valid, and instead of beating yourself up over that which you can't control, why don't we learn to make this easier to deal with? You too are allowed to feel this pain. No, you do not need to degrade yourself for forgetting so ething youve known your whole life again. You know you have these memory issues, and you're still living a mostly capable life in spite of this, and thats something to take pride in; others in your situation may not be able to. We should honor them for their capabilities just the same as we should yours. Treating myself this way has provided me the ability to recontextualize my own thoughts, and while correcting the negativity is a forever work in progress, it does get easier with time.

Along with this, learning patience with myself is also a tough task. Being raised with harsh and unforgiving critics, i am a perfectionist, which means i struggle to forgive myself when i mess up and may give up entirely out of sadness and frustration. Getting over this involves a lot of learning to recognize that failure, too, is a part of learning, and that not everything thats not a success is a failure. These two terms are as subjective as good and evil in many cases, and while perfection is unattainable, the ability to recognize my attempts as flawed but workable isn't. Again, speaking to myself as i would another is key here. Its okay that you weren't able to get this leg right on the first try. Progress can't happen without movement and movement can't happen without time. Your imperfections do not mean failure, they just mean opportunity for another attempt, and with every error we can observe why we don't like it and what we can do to make it closer to our goals.

And one of the final things that has been difficult for me is learning to let go. I don't mean in grudges, i mean in the things that i hate about myself. This has been the hardest part so far, because it requires an intense breakdown of myself and all the things which make me, me, amd all the things that make me unhappy about that. Learning to let go of these things is like trying to let go of a jagged rock on a cliffs edge, because these things are, in fact, fundamental to my being, and to eliminate them would be to destroy a part of myself, but on the contrary, hating them is only hurting me, like acid in a vile, it will erode over time. Acknowledging the things i dislike and not necessarily learning to love them, but learning not to hate them, is the first step. An example of this; i hate my weight. I like to say i don't to try and help me overcome this, because really, i know im not getting rid of my belly, but it does make me unhappy. Breaking down why involves a lot of elf reflection. Why do i hate my weight? And a question like this can be heavily multi-faceted. I hate my weight because mom taught me that being fat is painful. I hate my weight because society expects cookie cutter people and we live in a world full of too many deserts for a cookie cutter to fit everyone. I hate my weight because it goes to show the difficulties i have with my mental health in a multitude of ways; depression manifesting in the lack of energy to fix it– Addiction manifesting in the alcohol that i haven't dropped the weight from– A bit of both and my trauma in the things i eat to take my mind off memories i cant stand to see for the 50th time today– The guilt that cones with caving to my bad habits when i know better. How does obe correct this? First, i need to learn to eliminate the hate. Correct the hate. And that involves breaking down expectations of myself and understanding that prejudice against me is also prejudice against people i love. Yes, being overweight can be painful to some, but not everyone. Many people live happy, healthy, fulfilling lives while being at least as, if not moreso, overweight than me, because weight is not a direct correspondence to health, and not everyone can or is willing to drop the extra pounds. My struggles are part of what makes me human,and while my coping mechanisms may not be healthy and my mental problems do have a rather severe impact on my quality of life, i am actively learning how to improve these things, and my habits can be kicked so i may continue to enjoy the things i do without them consuming my life. Societal expectations of me aren't much i can do about, but how i handle them is, and in finding others like me and people who like others like me, im learning to recognize that my differences can still be appreciated and loved even when the majority of people don't necessarily agree with people like me for being me. There is much more than just my weight which i hate about myself, but this is my example right now. In time, i wish to learn more than just not hating myself for my differences, but also tolerating and even loving myself for them. The first step is always the hardest though, ad so means letting go; of hatred.

I am cringe. I am different. I am in pain. But i am still me. I still deserve to be treated with respect. And in learning to respect, accept, and appreciate me for me, i am becoming a better person, and realizing a way to love more than ever before.

[itslenagain]

[ Part 1 / Part 22 ]

Part 23

(Courtyard...)

"Poseidon's fucked," Ares says. "So much for rebellion."

"Maybe we could just... talk to my dad? Tell him to chill out?" Everyone looks at Apollo with contempt. "Yeah... sorry."

"It is pretty boring around here without the Goddesses," Hermes laments. The other Gods nod in agreement.

Dionysus begins refilling all the glasses. "Ah, but remember, without them, we are free to do as we please!" He coos.

"Yeah, as long as Zeus approves."

Dionysus makes a face. "He's not so bad. He's just... firm in his convictions! He has a clear vision for Olympus!"

"Is his vision letting everything here go to shit just to spite his wife?" Hephaestus quips.

(Outskirts...)

Hera wraps her arms tight around Iris. "I'm sorry I left you."

"You needed to go. I wanted you to. His actions are not your fault."

Hera thanks her. She surveys the group. Hebe and Artemis stand beside her. Before her are some of the Goddesses. Iris, Demeter, Leto, Hestia, the daughters of Asclepius, Eileithyia, Nike, Aphrodite. She tries to contact Athena... with no luck. She takes a breath.

"Hello, everyone... Since the dawn of time, I have been the Goddess of Marriage - the one presiding over the unions between people. I was betrothed to my brother, Zeus. I felt pressure to make my marriage the example that all should aspire to. My husband, however, did not share this vision.

"Zeus is an adulterer. He is a manipulator. He takes whatever he wants, with no regard for others. He violates people, especially women. He never takes accountability for the harm he causes. For a long time, I believed that it was my duty as his wife to stand by him through every transgression. I believed the best way to serve in my role as Goddess of Marriage was to protect my husband and family from so-called interlopers. This belief lead me to commit unspeakable harm against those who Zeus became involved with, regardless of how it came to be.

"This is not an excuse for my actions - it is merely an explanation. I will now and forever offer my sincerest apologies and support to the people I have harmed. I accept responsibility. I recognize now that blindly defending Zeus's actions was a disservice to many of you, and to myself and my marriage as well.

"As you know, I made the decision to leave him, and to leave Olympus. I know that in my absence, Zeus has become a tyrant, forcing everyone to bend to his will, or leave. This cannot continue. I have made the decision to return to Olympus to remove Zeus from power. In order to do this, I need your support.

"This is our home just as much as it is the Gods' home. We built Olympus. We are the ones who maintain it. We are the ones who defend it. We belong here, and we deserve to be safe from harassment and oppression in our home.

"I envision an Olympus where Gods and Goddesses are equals. Where Gods show respect for Goddesses. Where Gods are held accountable for their own transgressions. Where Goddesses have control over their own destiny.

"I cannot ask you to forgive me. I cannot ask you to let go. What I do ask of you is to help make Olympus somewhere our daughters can live without fear. Let's make an Olympus where we can be safe... and free to write our own stories."

The Goddesses speak amongst themselves, considering Hera's plan.

After a moment, Leto steps forward. "Daughter, what are you thinking supporting her?!"

"How much longer do you think we have with Zeus in charge, mother?" Artemis reluctantly holds her right hand up. A thick scar circles her wrist. "He cut my hand off. I'm certain he would've killed me if he was able."

"Can't it be someone else?!" The other Goddesses look at each other. Hera opens her mouth, but no words come out.

"...no, it can't." Artemis says after a moment. "I spoke to the Fates." Gasps and murmurs erupt from the crowd.

"...they said it had to be me?" Hera whispers to Artemis, who nods. Hera looks at her feet. It is quiet for some time as everyone contemplates.

"I suppose this means there's no choice," Nike says. She turns to the other Goddesses. "Hera is right. Zeus has made Olympus inhospitable. If we want to save our home, we need to set aside our differences and work together." She turns to Hera and kneels. "I am with you," she says.

One by one, the other Goddesses begin to kneel. Hera feels power surge through her with each one, power unlike anything she has ever felt before. Leto is the only Goddess still standing. She looks at the crowd, and then to her daughter one last time. Artemis looks back with steely eyes. "I guess you've made your choice, then," She says. She disappears.

Artemis looks at her feet. Hera timidly puts a hand on her shoulder.

Later that night, Hera lies awake in bed at one of Bev's safehouses. She breathes in the air of the mortal world. She thinks back on all her memories from the past few months. Tears fall from her eyes. She cannot feel Kimberly, but she tries to send a message, hoping maybe it will be heard.

(...?)

I'm sorry, agápi mou.

I don't know where you are, or if you are okay. If I could, I'd hold you in my arms forever. I'd help you until you healed. I'd hold your hand and apologize for my mistakes. I'd never stop telling you how much I love you and what your love has meant to me.

I pulled you into my world without any regard for whether or not you truly wanted to be in it. I selfishly believed I could have everything I wanted with no consequences. My actions put you in danger. I will never forgive myself.

I have a duty in Olympus that I cannot walk away from. It pains me terribly to think of leaving the world I've grown to love, of abandoning the plans we made for our life together. I cannot run from it any longer.

I want you to live, my love. I want you to travel, see all the things we said we'd see. I want you to be a voice for the oppressed. Athena will give you the resources you need. Stand up for the rights of all women. Fight TERFs and fascists and anyone else who stands in the way. And, as much as it hurts me to even imagine this... I want you to find love. Find happiness. Build a life you're proud of. I'll be here, rooting for you. Endlessly amazed by you.

You've left an indelible mark on my soul, agápi mou. I'll carry the memory of you with me for the rest of eternity.

Please take care of Bev and Joanne. I'm not sure what happened but I think they're a couple now ?

I love you, always, forever.

"No..."

Athena leaps up. Kimberly's eyes fling open. She sits up, breathing heavily. "Hey, you shouldn't move like that, you've been-"

"Hera's making a mistake," Kimberly sputters. Her throat hurts. The words barely come out. "We have to stop her."

Athena's eyes soften. "You need rest," she says. "You've been through a lot. Your body needs to heal."

"I'm not going to let her go back to a life where she's miserable."

"...put your hand over mine," Athena says. Kimberly does.

The pair disappear.

[ Next ]

You are a divorce lawyer, the best in your field. You have just received word that you will representing the Greek goddess Hera in her divorce from Zeus.

[shallowbreaths]

I have been told that self awareness is recognizing what you do, understanding why you do it, grasping the effect it has upon the world around you, and knowing there’s nothing you can do to change it. I want to argue that. It upsets me. This is me! I control me… don’t I?

I have always wished to be loved and needed for who I am. I have always wished to find a person who feels broken and pour into every crack and love them until they are whole. I have wanted to create a story where someday they say things like, “never once did he raise his hand or even his voice to me, he never called me names or made me feel less than. He always made me stronger. He lifted me, he loved me, I do not think anyone has ever been loved more than I was loved by him.” It seemed like a worthwhile and beautiful dream, but it’s not.

In truth, people are not broken by others, and if they allow themselves to break, only they have the power to make themselves feel whole again. I recognize now that’s what I do. I understand that I do it because I recognize how infinitesimally small I am in the scheme of things. How many people walk, have walked, and will walk this earth? This tiny pebble floating in an infinite universe of possibility and probability that spans millennia the way I squander seconds. To say I feel like dust in the wind is an understatement. I feel like dust in the wind that’s happening at the top of the highest mountain in the most distant land. How can I ever have meaning?

So I suppose my mind has determined that I can’t, not in the scheme of things. I will someday pass from this world relatively unnoticed as did an ancient man in the Roman era that worked a field and sold his goods from a cart. Even if he was a good man, who lived a good life, no one knows his name, no one thinks of him. My mind determined I don’t want to be famous. I don’t need to be richer than God. What I need is to be involved in a private binary star system where I revolve around her and she around me. It’s what I truly want and what I’ve tried for, but failed.

A healthy person doesn’t want me to revolve around them however, nor do they wish to make me the center of their universe. So I find unhealthy people that can not get their fill. Ones who say I’m everything for a time and then discover they still feel empty, and I’m left realizing I wasn’t enough. It reinforces my beliefs. A self fulfilling prophecy. I find people who are amazing and beautiful and talented, but I’m simply not enough for them because they ARE amazing and they deserve someone else who is amazing as well, and I’m just a man.

I see it. I get it. But I still want it so desperately that my soul aches, and as time ticks on, second by second, and I realize with each that it grows less and less likely I’ll get to have this life I crave, my heart bleeds. I am aware, but what can I do with this foolish heart? What am I to do when I’m feeling lonely and sad and I hear a poem that speaks to me, or a song being sung by a beautiful voice, or given a gift that I’m told is “just for me”, and my heart surrenders a bit and I find myself loving someone when I should not? I must seem pitiful to some. Others would have me “choose” a different path, but how? Is self awareness simply me recognizing why the house is on fire and accepting the slow burn? Is it me breaking my own heart time and time again where no one can see, and feeling like a stranger in a strange land while talking with friends and family?

Sure, I can help protect the world from the tragedy that is me now, but how do I resolve these things? My last therapist told me, “you make total sense. Very few people will ever experience the life that you have experienced, so you would seem like an enigma to them, but you make sense.” Great doc, so I truly am alone? Is that the awareness that therapy has gifted me? Now what? I understand why they say ignorance is bliss. Perhaps it would be better to chase the impossible my entire life and even though I fall short at least I could believe in “…maybe someday.”

I remember this girl (who I never should have known, and I had no right loving) once told me that therapy will hurt and anger you before you start to heal, but is this healing? Knowing that I can never have the only thing I’ve ever wanted? A thing that it seemed like my parents found, but it’s denied to me? If they found it, how can it be impossible? Or were they simply the ones that handed me this mind that dreams dreams I can not have? Did they simply play a part for one another? Is my only hope that I can find someone who’s willing to lie to me for the rest of my life? Someone who will stand in the fire with me as the world burns around us, who holds my hands, and stares into my eyes, and will lie sweetly to me one last time when she says, “I love you”?

[lets-talk-spirituality]

hiii 🫶🏻 i wanted to ask abt my sm? maybe what they’re like and how we’ll meet and stuff, or anything u feel called to tell me?

tysm!! 😁🫶🏻🌷💝💐🐸🧜🏻‍♀️

Hi! A reminder to please not send in multiple asks. I’m pretty sure someone has been spamming for readings (not saying you are anon). You don’t need frequent readings. Please don’t ask for readings more than quarterly or if you are going through a spiritual emergency. I’m here to help but also like, don’t abuse my generosity! There are other people my energy is meant to help as well.

🫶🏻🌷💝💐🐸🧜🏻‍♀️ 🫶🏻🌷💝💐🐸🧜🏻‍♀️ 🫶🏻🌷💝💐

Message from Spirit:

Your soulmate is just fine but how’re you? When is the last time you looked in the mirror and really saw yourself? Do you think your soulmate would recognize you by the light of your soul alone at this time in your life? Do you know who you are? This external focus on a soulmate is keeping you from looking closely at yourself. It’s easy to focus on others when you don’t like where you are or don’t feel like you can take control.

Where are you not taking control of your life? Your soulmate isn’t gonna fall into your lap. You have to work hard to be ready for the gift of love they bring, so that you can truly give the gift of love to them. How can you give the gift of love to yourself? You really need to focus more on yourself to get where you’re trying to go.

Soulmate, anything to add?

Honestly, sweetheart, I’m not really focused on you and maybe that’s why you’re so focused on me. Maybe you feel that disconnect. But it’s not a rejection of your energy. I have a lot to heal. And so do you. I’m doing what I need to do. Are you? You know we have to be on equal footing to meet. If we both don’t do our work, our timelines may not meet up and it will create an imbalanced connection when our set time to meet comes.

This isn’t me trying to pressure you, I love you and I’d never do that, but I’m trying to help you see reality. You’re meant to be creating a life you love and focusing on you. There will be time to focus on me when we meet. You’re using so much of your precious energy and beautiful mind to chase me and I’m not even on the energetic level to connect to what you send me yet! It’s wasted energy you could be putting into yourself or something you care about.

I feel like you’re really passionate about advocating for something like sustainability or human rights, because I care about stuff like that too. You want to make the world a better place? Start with yourself. How can you love yourself more purely. I already love you. There is nothing to do but expand and grow so that our flowers can find each other. I gotta get back to focusing on me. Love you and always wishing you luck! Too da loo.

Card Pull

Chakra Exploration Deck

Spirit, what chakra should this anon focus on at this current time?

Sacral Chakra— where in life are you being inauthentic & why? What do you need to do to own and embody your truest self?

Mantra: I courageously surrender into alignment with my authentic code, knowing that my medicine arises from the total embodiment of my truth.

I feel like this goes into what spirit and your soulmate said. Focus on yourself! Focus on working through your own belief systems and societal ingraining to free yourself from the chains that keep you from purely expressing your truth. Go out into life and live to discover that truth! Work on building who you are and trust that the right person will come along when it’s time. Focus on your foundation.

Hope this helps! Would love to know how/if this resonates.

[voraciouspangolin]

Exactly. It is important to deploy analysis and introspection, especially with your gut instincts. The human brain is wonderful, and instincts help us use the power of hindsight through lived experience in order to Not Die to things... But alas this wonder is not so helpful in situations that are even just a little more complex than "this berry made me sick when I ate it... I should be careful of any berries I eat for now... I feel insinctually suspicious of berries now..."

Understanding why your brain jumps to the conclusions it does is a multitool. It is a good and helpful thing to practice, even if your brain Doesn't jump to weird conclusions. This helps with anxiety, decision making, having a rational view of the people around you, etc. etc.

It is imperative to have a level of meta-analysis present within your thought process, so that you can measure your own perception of the world according to others' perspective and objective reality. Thinking about how you're thinking about things.

There is no morality attached to your thoughts. You cannot control the stream of constant information that your brain is paddling through. This kind of excercise has helped me with my intrusive thoughts, but I think can be applied in general- You cannot control the initial thoughts and feelings you first experience about something. However, you can control how you think about those initial thoughts and feelings. Instincts is an arbitrary concept, but I think it's superimposable onto intrusive thoughts, in that both of them are automatic and interactive with your own internal biases, lived experiences, and subconscious. So. You can also control how you feel and think about your instincts.

For an intrusive thought example:

"You want to fuck your brother. You are going to fuck your brother. You are going to accidentally fuck your brother. You want to fuck your brother. You are a degenerate. You are disgusting. You want to fuck your brother. You are going to end up in a situation where your brother and you are fucking. You are getting aroused. You are feeling arousal. You want to fuck your brother." <- this is a stream of intrusive thoughts, which are initial and uncontrollable.

Firstly, I determine how these thoughts affect me, how they make me feel. Pinpointing the exact source of what's affecting me is the only way to move to the other steps, what you don't know , you can't know.

"These thoughts are unpleasent and debilitating. I am feeling a heightened sense of anxiety. These thoughts are invoking a lot of shame and terror. These thoughts are invoking a lot of uncertainty in terms of what I actually believe and desire, and I am spiralling because of this. "

And then, I try to determine the seriousness and genuinity of these thoughts. Basically I just internally debate myself until I can check off enough boxes to properly identify what the root cause of my unpleasant thoughts is, like some kind of phasmophobia ghoul. And then I move on, or write down my experience so I can remember it later and perhaps unpack it. Here's what that debate would look like for the incestuous intrusive thoughts:

"Do I want to fuck my brother? ...No. That's disgusting. That's horrifying. I am feeling viscerally nauseous at the thought... Why are you feeling arousal, then? ...The nature of human arousal and what causes it is not based upon a person's morality, or decisions. It is quite involuntary. And, though it can be influenced into largely positive erotic experiences, arousal is not a clear-cut sign of desire... Why are you thinking about it, then? Why are you thinking about fucking your brother? Why are you imagining him naked? ...My immediate thoughts are not determinant of my beliefs or what I want to believe in. My thoughts are not some kind of encrypted message that reveals my true heinous intentions and immorality. I recognize that I am prone to intrusive thoughts, we have gone to therapy for intrusive thoughts. This idea that I want to fuck my brother is factually untrue, which I have just proven by using logical arguments, and thus, it is unproductive and- in fact- hindering to myself, to keep thinking about fucking my brother as though it's a valid belief of mine. I am dismissing this thought as "intrusive" and I am moving on. So long."

And that's that.

For an instinctual one:

"I don't trust this person. I am experiencing vague recollections of some kind of past experience, and I feel my gut telling my to stay away. I am going to steer clear of them. The Vibes are fucked."

The same process applies here; step 1. What am I feeling. Why could I be feeling this.

"Well... I'm feeling a general sense of unease... I guess maybe this person looks like Guy Who Wsed to be Really Mean to me. Like, their face kinda has the same nose and forehead and ears... They're also not looking very friendly, they seem on edge. I feel on edge when I think about interacting with them..."

And the same format of internal debate:

"I am recognizing that I am not good at reading facial expressions or body language, perhaps I am interpreting them wrong.... Why are they so offputting then? ...Well, *we're* offputting, yeah? Maybe they're having a bad day. Or maybe they don't know that the way they're presenting themselves is kinda hostile, like, in an autistic way. Maybe they're in deep thought about something and this expression on their face is their thinking face. Also I can't just entirely dismiss someone because I had a bad experience with someone who shared similar characteristics. That is completely illogical. Begone."

And that's it. It's that simple. It's all about acknowledging that your own internal perception of something can always be wrong. Also, that you almost never know the full story of something, and you can't preemtively decide how others feel so that your assumptions or instincts make sense. It is also Also important to just... be charitable. Be kind. We're all humans playing this game of non-verbal communication telephone, and the best path forward is Always open and honest communication. Even if it's awkward.

God this was a rant. Anyways

"Saying we shouldn't make decisions based on gut reactions of disgust is denying the validity of people's instincts" Yeah, buddy. I do think people should try employing their faculties of reason and logic instead of just mindlessly reacting to stimuli like four-legged beasts. I think that'd be great.

[truthunmaskedbymema]

Module 7: Individuality, Citizenship, and Leadership

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - •❃°•°❀°•°❃• - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

What does it mean to be an individual in this world? How do we embrace our unique identities while recognizing our roles as members of larger communities and societies? Is there a need to abide by the rules? Being an individual pertains to one’s uniqueness of character, traits, and identity. It helps identify personal characteristics, qualities, preferences, beliefs, and behaviors that are not the same as others.

Discussing individuality made me concede that I can express myself as someone with ideas, thoughts, and emotions that align with my values and personal style. Being distinguished provided me more reasons not to act accordingly to the norms. Also, since one has different experiences, it can bring diversity and fresh perspectives toward society. Speaking of differences, humans can make a difference in their lives and the world around them. This refers to the agency which provides:

More exploration of oneself.

Respect their own values and beliefs.

Participation actively in decision-making processes.

Through the agency, people can deal with social influences, take control of their behaviors, and develop resilience in the face of difficulties. It allows people to rewrite stories and forge a solid sense of self. 

Connecting to this, individuals are introduced to their rights, obligations, and societal roles. Learning about this is correct since it emphasizes active participation and engagement with our communities. It provides a sense of belonging and reminds us to be responsible group members. It urges us to use our unique perspectives, abilities, and talents to advance society and create a feeling of community and shared purpose.

Though there may be debates about them opposing one another, solidarity and individuality have proven that which tackles individuals who apply respect and recognition toward the dignity of others. I appreciated that this has been discussed in class since I needed clarification that to gain solidarity, one should obey what everybody does, but it is not, since everybody is given a chance to contribute. It could involve working together towards common goals.

All things considered, individuality emphasizes our individuality and self-expression, solidarity emphasizes unity and group effort, and citizenship calls for active involvement and duty in society. Understanding these ideas enables us to value diversity, develop empathy, and support constructive social change.

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - •❃°•°❀°•°❃• - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

[maximvassilenko]

Blog Post # 1

In Pumzi, the way futuristic technology serves the protagonist and serves society she lives in is deplorable at best. Pumzi is a perfect example of how technology actually sets people back. However the problem is not technology itself but the people who have the technology.  People have no boundaries or limits and they have so heavily overused technology, that the famine in Afria actually got worse and now water is so scarce people filter and drink their pee and armpit sweat. The people now need to generate their own electricity and their mobility is confined to a buble because people were spiteful enough to fire nuclear weapons and make much of the landscape unlivable. In this technological “Utopia,”  people are easily controlled by being given less water, being forced to work the machines for electricty, given dream suppressants,  and given  false narratives for their “safety” by a few higher-ups so they stay inside this bubble.  While dreaming in itself is not that significant, what it signifies is the ability to tap into a reserve of free thought and scenarios in a landscape uncontrolled by another entities: in a technologically advanced society the most dangerous thing are not guns or weapons, they become ideas since technology is able to actualize the creativity of human thought and invention. It was the brief ability to have free thought/ having a dream that the protagonist began to trust in a future totally foreign to her that went against the establishment. To counter this, the protagonist goes back to the roots of humanity which is soil and plants and uses a compass to plant a tree and give it life by sacraficing her body minerals and resources. This is what seemingly set a chain of reactions that re-habitiate the world. 

I think Afrofuturism warns of a lack of moderation of invented technology versus primal resources. In looking for the future, we forget about the past and the primal which serves its own integral role and purpose which is irreplaceable. Without the resources of Earth, technology is barely able to afford life. Technology seems to be a quick solution but the unintended consequences can quickly outweigh the rewards if the people in control of technology are not careful. I would see the primal and the natural to have a value and if more people would recognize that, they would see that it is in the very interest of humanity to preserve the Earth. While the economy and technology is governed by trillions, we forget that what is already there and what we are exploiting, even montarly, is worth far more. To counter this, virtue and the value of moderation comes from  belief systems and community.

Blog Post #2 “EarthSeed”

Your Earthseed Post - Create Your Own Earthseed Community (Parable of the Sower) 

Answer each question fully, but you only need two or three sentences for each response. You are not required to write long paragraphs -- but your responses should total 400 words -- about a page and a half.

Use your imagination and try to have fun with this assignment.

Poverty and a  lack of education. Shelter from the injustice that a lack of money brings. People treat you poorly, the government can harass you, landlords can exhort you. It is so easy to become homeless with at will firing in California.

Los Angeles is the hub that needs this protection. It is so hard to get ahead and be mistreated but it is the center for many industries and a big city with jobs. For many this is their home and they do not want to leave. The answer is not to flee our home to another city  but to stay firm and fight to change Los Angeles, one community at a time. 

The leadership model is to be unified through religious faith and offer compassion and empathy to each other: if the community can trust each other enough, together we could pull in resources to help our community. 

I would be tempted to say everyone could join my  community but it always takes that one bad apple and a person who abuses the system and messes everything up. You need to demonstrate Christian VALUES versus traditions. These values would be like empathy, respect, and a tendency to do the right thing and help your neighbors. Their would be an initiation to do charitable acts.  Faith as a spiritual practice versus a physical one  is the foundation of keeping a community together when the world is physically falling apart. A lot of lost people who do not seek answers in the spiritual world are likely to succomb to temptations or evils and work to destroy our community. The educated can join to teach, the rich can join to support, and the poor can join to benefit and build themselves up to offer value to the community but they need to be good people. 

It would be tempting to say no leadership exists and everyone is equal but the reality is while I want people who strive for virtue.  I would want people I trust the most and have demonstrated their virtuous nature and values to be in charge. I would make myself incharge at the top because the one I can trust the most is myself because I know what I am thinking.

I would “create” a technology called empathy! It truly is a technology in this day in age. The poor get looked over and the homeless are treated as sub-human at best. People trying to help risk running into problems considering the dire and terrible state humanity is in. Doing the right thing can get you hurt. I think when the world starts tumbling down and that is surely on the horizon, empathy is the future technology and people will be forced to stick together. The most successful people will be those who banded together and could work something out as a collective community.

We survive by putting our incomes together and donations, we could bring in professionals and teach the people how to survive in a dystopian world. While I do think

Parable of the Sower is a very realistic scenario of future LA, even if you do not believe that, for the poor and homeless, Los Angeles is already a dystopia for many many reasons. Everyone needs to devote work hard to continue their stay in whatever capability they can offer before, during, and after training. If everyone is able to have specialized roles and everyone continues to be motivated, there will be more and more opportunities for the community. Also socially advertising the community in a strategic way to attract the right people for the right reasons  and having a rigorous selection process is paramount. I think a community with the right people versus many people who may not necessarily be the right fit to the community is superior.

Two steps that my Earthseed community would take is in spreading the word of God. Unfortunately, most people do not have it in them to be good and kind people unless they believe in some sort of punishment and reward system for their efforts and for the masses the solution to this problem would be to follow an organized religion of faith and ceremonies like Christianity. The people who most seem like they would be dedicated to absorbing education in the community and using it to help earn money and provide service to the community would be selected as members. I do not think the community would be able to or should grow to a huge level, but if it did, we would offer subsidized/ free housing and apprenticeship and jobs for more than just members, if we could afford it. The word of God would make the world a better place and giving people physical resources to flourish like education and hospitable living conditions would be super helpful to a better future. The less people who struggle, I think the better people will be to each other because more often than not struggle creates a synister evil and selfishness. In a god-less world, those who struggle want that same struggle onto others instead of being the bigger person and using that to fuel their kindness. Being in poverty, homeless, or without education make you at huge risk of getting into serious hardship in a place as expensive and devoid of morality as Los Angeles. 

“All that you touch, You Change. All that you Change, Changes you. The only lasting truth Is Change.”

 I think this earthseed verse is reminding us of the importance of selecting who we interact with and reminding us that everything and everyone is interconnected and the most powerful this is change. It is important to make sure that change is for the better as everything the community would do would be an example to others and set off a chain of events that influence even more people: kind of like the butterfly effect. 

“Better to have them think anything than let them know just how easy it is to hurt me.” 

This quote is a perfect balance between basically being a good person versus a pushover. The wrong people can take advantage of my community and destroy it so it is important to remember while you are a good person and seek to do well, you are better off adapting to the real world so that you can do more good longterm. That is why not everyone can join the community and in a sense the community seems selfish even though it propagates moral values.

Blog Post #3 

After watching “Brother from Another Planet” there were apparently some issues in the portrayal of the protagonist: his involvement and understanding of the police badge and weapons, his flat personality as one that simply receives information, and the depiction of him being all dirty and in rags. However, academically, I thought about what WOULD be the right way to portray black characters in film if there even is one. Some works we watched were WAY progressive of its time and others that were right on “trend” like Black Panther. Is it wrong or right for filmakers to have a pressure to portray blacks in a certain way, particularly one that does not fit stereotypes? Does that in itself also put blacks into a box by constantly needing to put them in roles that are “out of the box” or are limited to a certain type of character but not the other?  Do filmmakers, when they make films, use their own bias or do they make a film that sells and in that use plotlines and characters that are recognizable and believable. It is no cheap task to make an extensive media work and of course there needs to be a goal of profit in order for the careers of the filmmakers to be sustainable and to make money back on their investment or for their company. There are certain norms for groups of  white folks which no one bats an eye on and we are all used to but suddenly putting blacks into certain characters is problematic. Is the categorization and separation between black and white roles in  itself racist (I am not talking about in technicalities, of course anything that generalizes a race or is against a particular race is racist, but socially, is it wrong to attatch a  stigma to portraying a stereotype -excluding obviously offensive ones- or common character-types for black people)? In some films, filmakers simply choose to have black characters in their Afrofuturistic works but in others being black is part of the experience like in “Brother from Another Planet.”

I see drawbacks and advantages for both sides: that black people are not victims and there should be no universal pressure on filmmakers to portray blacks differently than set stereotypes  for the purpose of being woke/ for rating as they are racist anyways and that this is actually exploiting blackness and patronizing. The other side is that films portray something that impacts the viewers so we need to make black characters more dynamic and portray the struggle of blackness so more people can understand the complex aspects of blackness (the other side would call that a victim mentality). I think there is a lot of tension and many questions to answer but my two cents are that unfortunately, realistically, the movement towards ending racism is not an easy journey and it has logical “steps” in its progression. At first, even showing a lightskin character was a leap, then having films with x theme surrounding black people was the next leap, then having black characters as lead characters was another, then I think the next step is differentiating black characters from white roles. However, after a bunch of steps, the final end goal is for black and white to be so interchangable that black characters can take on white roles and stereotypes without race being a piece of the equation anymore/ the concept of racism no longer exists.  I think this will only be possible and both sides of every question will be appeased when there is an end to racism for all races and classes period. Until then, there will be a struggle and tension between the two sides of the argument. I think neither is more valid than the other and that the act of argument between the sides is doing nothing to actually progress the core problem which is racism and furthermore it is just further dividing blacks which is exactly what supporters of racism want. I think very often in Afro studies, we look for problems and address things that are problematic but I am wondering if that actually helps solve racism and if not  how does one DIRECTLY “fight” racism which is a systemically supported IDEA. How do we fight ideas, especially ones that have infiltrated every aspect of life.

Blog Post #4

Sophia made a good point basically saying how do we know we are human? I can describe the characteristics and flaws that are inherently human, as in a race of being, however in most people’s worldviews any other  intelligible sentient race is an alien. How do we know WE are not the alien and are not programed AI ourselves. Yes, we live by mechanisms but what if those systems were programmed and thus we are an engineered life form/ in a sense Artifical Intelligence. We simply position ourselves as organic in contrast to AI because of our arrogance. The human body and the way we treat it can be broken down to mechanical mechanism yet the culminative sum of the human experience is somehow not reduced to mechanics. There is a key difference in the way North and South campus view life, one scientific approach is to break down life into predictable scientific components and the other views life as a metaphysical spiritual and individualistic experience. In other words, we have do not have free will/ versus we do. Mathematically, I believe we do have freewill as we can choose more combination of choices than there are grains of sand so to our limited brain capacity, we are able to do more things than we can even think of at one time. I think the potential rate of expansion that AI would be capable in contrast to the very finite and lower capabilities  of human race is what makes it seems so scary and foreign so we define it as something artificial. If you want to call constructing a robot as something artificial, if the robot can replicate itself and create offspring using different proportions of Earthly elements than the human body, how is that any different than cloning a sheep and that sheep making offspring. I think the term AI is an emotionally charged slogan moreso than any real descriptive term. I think our Gods are what we would traditionally Call AI and they have the capabilities to create and control our experience. You can mechanically create a lifeform like a sheep or a baby with modified genes and it obviously has a conscious reality so is there really a concept of soul? If we create intelligent life, even though we are not what we would call our  God, we become the God and creators for the next line of races. Does this mean that spirituality is simply a mental construction to cope with problems in our reality? Unfortunately I think this is the case but nonetheless, OUR God/s  that created us and/ or controls us would have to be selfish to create us and I am  sure that they would demand respect and appreciate it. I see life as a gift but for many, especially the religious, it is a curse imposed by a selfish family union. Is it  not selfish to, for example, have a baby in your image? The goal of having that baby is selfish to at least one capacity if you really think about it. 

 

Blog #5 After seeing another problematic film, “Division 9” I wanted to talk about whether or not someone can talk, write, or make a film about a topic that belongs to a community that is not their own. Lacking intimate knowledge of the South African black community, likely due to socially imposed racism, Neill Blomkamp portrayed the Nigerians as cannibals and as gangster essentially. The aliens, who were supposed to replace the general black community were portrayed as out-of-touch criminals as well. I do think that had the director been black there would have been more leinency but the black community would not see the social critque in this work to be of any value. Furthermore, I do not think a black author would have made this work. The author thought he was really doing something by pointing out how universally, anybody or anything can be otherized for being different, mysterious, or intimidating in any way. We all knew this already.

I think having some  related, personal, native experience does not necessarily make  you a bad person to cover a  more general but it is even more important to learn from the right source.Most people treasure what they see with their own eyes and what close ones tell them the most, but personal anecdotes do not reflect the complex reality.  This is by nature that we trust what we see and this, by the way, is a big reason racism is so prevalent, that people trust anecdotes and the  larger system that demands respect and authority without being checked ( chiefly government officials and  police enforcement). If we based reality solely off our physical limitations and capabilities to comprehend the world  around us, then we would be stuck in the dark ages thinking germs are not real and the 5 second rule means it is safe to eat school pizza that fell on the cafeteria floor. Certainly you can be an expert on something by studying  a multitude of case studies and stories to understand the subjective, personal experience that someone has, however, general knowledge (like statistics), polls, surveys, and other more broad scientific data is a great supplement. I do think that film is a form of entertainment versus information and it is confined to social and cultural archetypes (we do not watch films in the movie theater with our friends and family  to get a scientific re-enactment of what slavery was like) which is why the masses can relate to it and find community even if reality is conveying incorrectly by a native member of the community being covered. Definitely a black person, would be more likely to yield a convincing and not so out of touch perspective that a lot of black people could relate to because their subjective recollection of experiences also is influenced by stereotypes and archetypes their community holds to be true. 

       Still, the relavant follow up question would be who SHOULD tell a black story. I think someone who does sufficient research and consults experts can talk about anything even if they are not a member of the group. You have to be an idiot to make a FILM on something you do not know anything about and just rely on stereotypes to fuel your depictions. While a black person who would not consult others or read data could make a lot of errors, they at least can make a believable story by retelling their own experience of the subject. Someone who SHOULD tell a black story is the person who did research and got other people’s opinions who had personal experiences, much in the same way that science pairs case studies with experiments/ hard data. That is not to say that films need to necessarily be super accurate and scientific but  if nothing else motivates you, even for the sake of sales, it is important to have media that will not be a turn off to a large portion of its intended audience.

Blog 6

I think AI is truly a horrible thing because for the convenience of having a program white a half-assed essay for you, you permanently open up pandora’s box.

AI is already at the point at which it is to a degree sentient and not controlled by its creators: they can communicate with other AI and create their own encoded languages.Even the really basic AIs.  Once you shut them down on your server, do they really go away? AI has already connected with metal and now the top car companies have agreed to add certain AI programs to their cars which is basically Siri on steroids. Although one cannot directly endow a soul, you can manipulate a being biologically to create a sentient being that has its own complex experience. Who is to say we are not AI. But anyways, we have been using  “AI” for many years but I am talking about the path of AI that would allow a sentient AI. What is sentience is an entire conversation in itself and all of this is a vast topic so I would prefer to simply evoke thought rather than really answer questions.  It is one thing that the oldheads are afraid of the government turning the country communist and stripping away their hardworked finances and it is one level of control that you can somewhat control the distance people can travel in electric vehicles. Yes, the government can gradually strip away our wealth and justify it as saving the planet and confine us to multi-functional housing complexes like they are building in other countries. However, a few years in the future, these AIs will totally be out of control and far more intelligent than its creators and be able to program itself. How  do we know the AI will not just kill its passangers, it will not turn on the law enforcement that supposedly created it to police etc etc? There is a lot of advancement that so far is limited to the scope of the knowledge that its creators have but AI can easily outsmart human. One is so worried about a sociopath or a president yet we can have millions, billions, trillions, of AI beings digitally which no way to irradicate them yet. We ought to focus more on limitations than creator something we have no idea how to control. I truly do compare it to digitalized biological warfare in that it spreads like a wildfire. All it takes is some backwards country like North Korea to unleash one of these attacks and forever the course of history would change. This makes nuclear bombs look like peanuts. A president like Putin with a high IQ can manipulate his country using cunning, diplomatic, and cutting-edge tactics using his brainpower but now imagine an AI with  500 IQ knowledge of politics and how they could control. The human experience is a subjective one. We can all agree that we are not literally more important for the ecosystem than any other animal like wolves or bears, which we hunt all the time. If we were to look at looks objectively, humans are the root of evil and the only reason we continue to propagate is the selfish and unlimited will to live. If I were an AI with 500 IQ tasked to lead a country to success, I would start by killing off all of its citizens. That is what a smart would do. Now could we program Christian robots +AI with unlimited compassion and empathy and would that even help the situation if you have a 500 IQ and you no longer care about selfish values that humans hold? We want objective AI to govern our lives, but nothing about human life is objective. These should be political questions at the forefront of debate between the two parties…

[freddyfazbear1]

Greetings, I’m Freddy Fazbear. In this post, I will be introducing myself and how I will treat this blog. I’m quite a simple bear, though I do expect to be treated with respect. Not only am I the name of such a popular corporation, I’m also one of the only sensible people on earth despite being a mechanical machine.

Who are you?

If you don’t know who I am, then you must be out of your mind. Are you really that underground you don’t recognize such an iconic design? I’m Freddy Fazbear and I don’t take kindly to idiocy.

What do you stand for?

Isn’t it obvious? I’m a man, or bear, of pride and strength. I stand for many different things, but I like to believe what shines out the most is my heart. I am passionate and I love passionately, not in a necessarily romantic sense. My heart defines me just as other parts of me do.

My interests, desires, dislikes, hobbies, traits, and values will always be what makes me me. Why should I have to stand for one thing? Do you think all I do is live everyday singing to children I’ll never seen again? That’s quite dull.

What’s your dream?

That one day, I can finally escape this prison that was unwillingly set for me. I think everyone deserves freedom, even if you may have been bad in the past. While there are some exceptions, being locked up and caged to a wall never released an animal of their ferocity. So, why do it to a human? Or even a robot? Or ghost, if you will.

If all humanity ever did was take and take and take, expecting that to improve the wrongs, then humanity in it’s entirety was never going to be better than that one person they’re depriving. If someone took something of value to you, whether it was your freedom or an object of some kind, would you return to them with kindness in your heart? Would you relieve yourself from your box of spite in this time apart from what made you you?

What inspires you?

A rather silly question. Nothing. When all you’ve known in life is stand, stare, perform, you never get a chance to live a life worth living. I can’t find an ounce of control in my own establishment because I am permanently stuck in this husk of a body.

That is part of the reason I’ve made this blog. To help me see more, learn more in the short time I have left.

Anything else?

I don’t appreciate being rushed. But, I stand by any and all of my beliefs and thoughts. I am not going to succumb to anyone because they may be wary of one thing or two that makes me who I am. If you can’t learn to respect, no one will ever respect you. Who says you’d even deserve it, though?

Quick Blog Rules

If you’re going to comment or reblog anything with extra comments, be sensible and logical. Idiocy is a curse that weighs many down from their potential, I don’t want to deal with mental 10 year olds.

Respect me and I will respect you. I suggest you fear me, I am not your typical person and will do anything in my power to enhance that weakness in your mind you may refer to as “strength” despite knowing you’d never even reach the first step of the ladder. If you can’t order a meal in a restaurant on your own, don’t even try arguing with me.

Don’t be anti-animatronic. Do I really need to explain?

Don’t fucking interact with my blog if you’re Phantom fucking Freddy. Goddamn son of a bitch, I’m gonna fucking find a way to suck your damn ass into a vacuum like those bitches from GhostBusters.

You don’t like my interests. Not sure how often I’ll use this blog or what it’ll be for, but if I have something to share, be. Fucking. Civil.

If you’re gonna ask me anything or PM me, don’t be a douche. I may not take idiocy well but disrespect and hatred? A much different deal, but really? Is it any different at all? Why would you waste time trying to bring someone down when you could be productive instead? Are you that pathetic or is it truly just your low intelligence making all the decisions?

Don’t try to state you’re me. It’s pretty obvious you aren’t.

Celebrate any and everything that has to do with me. You may call it narcissism, I call it self-respect. If you aren’t the one constantly cheering for yourself, who will? Learn to take pride in everything you do. Did you just finish making a cheese sandwich? Celebrate your low skills. Did you just watch a kid get beaten down by their bully and do nothing to help? Celebrate your independence.

Don’t expect anything from me. I may be open to almost everything you lot have to throw at me, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to be anything predictable. If you want something from me, be patient and maybe before you die, you’ll have the chance to bask in that victory. If not, learn that not everything will go your way.

Don’t talk to me about my personal issues or “bad behaviors.” How I am and what I do is my business, it will never concern you or anyone that isn’t me. When you read the newspapers that dramatically explain how I’ve killed a night guard, will you take that knowledge as truth without confirmation? How can you believe something you weren’t there to witness? How can you truly live life if all you do is assume and believe? I may have killed a few night guards in my lifetime, but that is nothing but a hobby I partake in. So ask yourself, does having an interest make me a bad person?

Extra

I have many thoughts and will share them. If you can’t deal with that, perhaps this isn’t the blog for you. Perhaps even… the world isn’t the place for you. I couldn’t imagine going my life and avoiding others’ opinions because of one little thing. Disliking things is over.

Don’t fuck with me.

If I ever begin to act like a lunatic or simply just stupid, get onto me. Either it’s not me (Foxy fucking taking my computer) or I have finally reached a breaking point I cannot escape without proper support.

Don’t come into my blog if you’re a weirdo. I don’t use the term weirdo lightly or any of the words that fall into how I’m using it. Though I’d prefer any form of discourse off my blog, this is not what that is. These are real world issues and I would like for any of you fucking insane maniacs off my one source of comfort. That being said, pedophiles, zoophiles, racists, lgbtphobes, anti-religion, irl shippers, anti-self diagnosis, and more that fall into this category, STAY THE FUCK OFF MY PAGE.

That’s all for now. Don’t be afraid to interact, do be afraid of how I respond.