#but Dad? my guy YOU are not a skinny guy. you've very much got a classic dad beer gut going there

[eats-the-stars]

also if you have relatives/friends who will not in a million years admit that they are racist/homophobic/etc. since they know this is a bad thing they shouldn't endorse or be, then calling them out directly often leads to denial and deflection and getting really defensive and not backing down.

But if you just say 'hey, it was kind of rude to say X' or 'i think you were making H uncomfortable by bringing up X/making X joke' then they're more likely to listen w/out immediately going to level 10 defensive mode.

Also, ppl who will staunchly deny being a racist/fatphobe/homophobe/etc. will be more likely to agree to simply being 'a bit of an asshole last night.'

The goal is not to get the person to make a complete 180. It's to get them to be a little bit less of an asshole next time. And then rinse and repeat until someday they're, like, barely an asshole at all.

GRADE SCHOOL SJWS stop using social justice language to explain shit to your conservative parents IT’S NOT GONNA GO THROUGH now all they have are some new words to make fun of. don’t tell your mom she’s being fatphobic tell her she’s being a dick

[roller6262]

Hey! Skinny white guy here wishing I was something more exciting!

I can sense you've been touched by the power of many transformations before, perhaps you are a master of transformation as well? Usually I'd be wary of using my power on those like you, in case it rebounded on me, but this request is too tempting to pass. Fine, I'll make you more interesting. You're sitting at home when to hear loud rock coming from outside. You open your front door to find yourself in a suburban neighborhood with a young South Asian man sitting on your doorstep with a speaker.

You want to ask him what he's doing here, but after noticing some angry glares from your neighbors, you think it's best to tell him to turn the music down first. "Turn it down?" He scoffs, "Man, you're the one always saying to turn it up. Listen to this!" He grabs you by the ear and pulls you closer to the speaker, as if standing across the street wouldn't still be a fine distance to hear the track. You curse when you feel a sharp pain where he grabbed your earlobe, but as the sound reverberates through your skull you find that pain turning to pleasure.

You nod your head to the booming drums as your ear lobes grow, craving more of that sound, then filling with large gauges. You tell him he's right, shit this good deserves to be played at max volume. "Hell yeah, especially when it speaks to taking down a broken system. That's what it's like for brown men in a white man's world." You're confused, is brown men referring to you too? You feel your body electrified like a guitar, your body warming up and your skin darkening in turn. Your hair stands on end until the blackened strands curl into a mess much like the man's, though you like your streaked red and sides shaved. You grin, looking at your fellow south asian with your deep brown eyes in newfound familiarity. You can't help but agree that there's nothing more punk than an immigrant.

After a few minutes of listening, your neighbor's annoyed stares become more obvious to both of you. "Man let's ditch these posers. Is it cool if I take this to Zayne's house?" You get excited, recognizing the name of another punk who lives a few blocks down. You agree, noting you're excited to listen there too. "What?" he chuckles, "no offense Man, but I don't think Zayne invites anyone your age to rock out." You wonder what he means by age before looking down at your arms, ever hairier than before. You think you're seeing things, adjusting your glasses out of habit without realizing you weren't wearing any before. Your facial scruff becoming a thick beard. Your clothes turning into a brown polo tucked into white khakis, baggy at first but stretched tighter as your time as a slim youth grows distant from years in a sedentary desk job. Your adjust your polo, trying to give your moobs more room while they jiggle along with your gut to the speaker. Despite your new clothes, you're still a punk in spirit, but a man needs to dress a certain way to work when he's got bills to pay.

you look at the man, now recognizing him as your son. You're a bit sad he keeps calling you "Man" instead of Dad, but a part of you swells with pride as a sign he's inherited some of the anti-authority spirit you grew up with. You sigh, allowing him to go rock out with his friend, but reminding him to come home before dinner and hoping you can jam with him after too.

"Ah kids" I say, stepping out of the house next to yours, looking like a typical suburban man "no matter how cool you are, they always choose their friends." You laugh deeply, clutching on to the bouncing polo that threatens to untuck from your khakis and reveal the furry carpet below. You say your son is probably just going through a rebellious phase. I laugh in kind, "With a rebel dad like you, I'm sure 'rebellious phase' is an understatement!" I'm unsure if you recognize me, or the request you made to me, but I am sure that this life is at the very least more exciting!

[angelsanarchy]

Glass Houses: Jack Thurlow x Y/N Series CH 04 -> CH 05

"In my defense I thought you were commenting on my weight." "So you went with skinny 9th grade virgin?"

Tagging: @roryculkinluvr @thatsthewrongwallcraig @icarus-star @cc-luvr @madamemaximoff06 @shady-the-simp

Jack spent the entire day cleaning. Thankfully he was able to find a company that picked up all the donations and junk he had cleared out of his parents room but he didn't trust anyone to come in and clean. He never realized how much his family didn't need this much space until he had to be responsible for it.

The first time he was able to sit down and relax, it was late and he was surprised he hadn't passed out already. He lit a cigarette and sat on the window sill, letting the smoke flow out of the window as he took in the cool breeze. The sound of shuffling below caught his attention and he locked eyes with Y/n who was taking a night stroll wearing her scrubs.

"Hey Jack, how's your night going?" She asked with a smile.

"It's going about as well as expected when your days consist of gutting your childhood home." Jack mockingly held finger guns to his temple making Y/n laugh.

"Hopefully you've got friends to help you. That's a lot of house for one person to gut." Y/n took a long drag and Jack nodded.

"I'm not very social at the moment...or any moment really. I've been told I'm a particular taste." Jack thought about the last time he tried to go out with Shanda and her girlfriend. He had almost gotten into a bar fight and got two drinks thrown in his face. His personality was a bit abrasive but he couldn't it. His passive aggressive narcissism came across rude to most but to the mores sensitive crowd, he was just a prick.

"I'm pretty sure they have companies who work for assholes." Y/n teased.

"Hey I forgot to congratulate you the other day. You would never guess you had a baby." Y/n's face dropped.

"Excuse me?" She questioned.

"I've never known someone to lose the baby weight before the kids a year old. You look great." Jack didn't typically comment on a woman's appearance, especially to their face but he blamed the exhaustion of the day and him fighting sleep for his lack of self preservation. That and she was a beautiful woman.

"Coming from the guy who looks like a skinny 9th grade virgin." Jack's eyebrows went up. Y/n stood her ground. He was caught off guard by the insult but remembered how Cleo would get when someone commented on her weight when she was pregnant.

"Wow I think I may have fucked up, let me try this again. When I met your mom, she said she had just become a grandma. I assumed-" Jack watched Y/n gasp and cover her mouth.

"Fuck! You thought...I am so sorry. My brother's wife had the baby, not me." Y/n explained making Jack nod his head.

"Okay so then I didn't fuck up as much as you did. That makes me feel better, a little offended but better." Jack pulled a long drag from his cigarette and Y/n raked her hand through her hair embarrassed.

"I really am sorry. In my defense, I thought you were commenting on my weight." Y/n defended .

"So you went with skinny 9th grade virgin?" Jack laughed. No one had really called him anything other than the normal insults. Pretentious prick. Son of a bitch (which he couldn't deny). Fucking asshole. He admittedly lost more weight then he would have liked when he was in treatment. He was trying to find little things that would help get him back into better shape instead of just being skin and bones.

"I was going to go with school shooter but it's been a long day, felt too dark in today's climate." Y/n frowned but Jack took amusement in it. He actually enjoy conversing with her. She had a wit about her that made him want to hear her thoughts on random things.

"I got the same response when my parents were killed in a car crash and kept telling people how my dad was decapitated." Jack gestured to his neck and Y/n nodded.

"It's truly a shame you aren't more social in town. I think these oldies need to be shaken up a little more." Y/n and Jack were probably two of the only people under 40 in the neighborhood.

"I was going to offer my condolences but I admittedly didn't know your parents that well and I'm pretty sure a year post-death seems kind of disingenuous. Your parents seemed like decent people. I always enjoyed the sunflowers my mom would grow for your mom so she had good taste in flowers." Jack was pleasantly surprised that Y/n hadn't tried to console him or offer some fake sympathy for people she clearly didn't know well. She had become a breath of fresh air in this small town full of people acting as though they knew him personally.

"I appreciate your genuine solace." Jack finished his cigarette and considered lighting another but instead just took a deep breath.

"I'm sure the last year of your life has been a real dumpster fire taking over this monstrosity but I guess we're just those kind of children." Y/n pulled something from her pocket and put it to her lips, lighting it and taking a pull.

"Yeah I didn't think I would end up...taking a year off but I guess I needed the mental break from LA anyway. Trying to get this place in order is the current goal so if you're looking for someone else's shit, let me know." Jack caught a whiff of the smoke and his eyebrow cocked. She was clearly wearing scrubs but she was absolutely smoking a joint, which wasn't uncommon for Colorado but possibly taboo among the medical community.

"I feel your pain. When I first moved back I did at least 4 garage sales just to clear out some of my parents bullshit. How can old people have so much shit? Baby boomers completely missed the whole recycling trend." Jack hadn't considered doing a yard sale but his lack of social skills would probably just have him boxing it all up to donate anyway.

"Moving back into this house alone is slowly turning me into a minimalist. I don't know if their generation just thought they were going breed like rabbits or if they were just competing to see who would have the biggest house." Jack felt comfortable having such open conversation with her. He felt like he could actually keep a conversation without someone trying to offer sympathies or checking to see if he was on the verge of another psychotic break.

"It's tough being so young in a retirement community." Y/n joked with a smile. They shared a smile for a brief moment before Jack realized he was staring.

"I guess I will rephrase my previous statement, congratulations on becoming an aunt. That kid is going to have exemplary insults by the time they hit the school yard." Jack smirked earning a smile from Y/n.

"Thank you. I'll be sure to send him your way when he's old enough to start wearing trench coats." Y/n winked like she could go tit for tat with Jack and actually enjoy it. She had a feeling they had a similar sense of humor.

"I should get back. Ace waits by the door if no one takes him to bed." Y/n gestured towards the house and Jack sighed.

"Rub it in." Jack teased, fanning jealousy but truthfully he wouldn't mind that kind of comfort this evening.

"He misses you. It's weird, all he can talk about is the strange habits of the mysterious neighbor. Soon enough, he'll tell me all your secrets so hopefully you've never murdered anyone." Y/n wouldn't realize how that joke hit but Jack chuckled darkly.

"Just my dog." Y/n took it as a joke but Jack was grateful they shared a twisted sense of humor.

"Noted. Have a good night Jack." She gave him one last genuine smile and he gave her a wave.

"Good night." Jack watched her walk all the way to her house, walk up the porch and turn the outside light off. He felt a strange comfort knowing that she was so close by and didn't seem turned off by his dry wit and dark humor. He wouldn't call her a friend but she's a neighbor he doesn't mind having encounters with.

[beef-brisket]

Lucifer was up bright and definitely not early. He was so worn out front last night- but he couldn't help but love the feeling. It was nice to have a partner that could actually wear Lucifer down, he's always had a high sex drive, and Adam is the only one to actually make him tired. Lilith tried on their wedding night, but she only lasted 2 rounds.

Eventurally, Lucifer and Adam made their way to the Vatican. Lucifer has never been so nervous to see his father. He always has a feeling some of the higher ups would want a report about the Hazbin. They haven't been in contact, which is odd, but then again, neither has Lucifer.

He hasn't looked at Adam since they left the house, he doesn't look bad or anything, it's just taking all of his will power not to slam him against the wall and take him right here on one of the many bussy streets of Rome.

He kept his body from last night, Lucifer couldn't help but thank the Heavens. He managed to find one of Liliths old dresses that allowed Adam to make his curve bigger, much to the excitement of Lucifers dick.

Adam: You're very quiet, everything okay, babe?

Oh yeah, fine. Except for nearly every person the walked past couldn't take theor eyes off Adam. He's hot, he's the Devil, that's kind of his thing. Doesn't make Lucifer any less possessive, gripping his hand as tight as possible.

Adam: I would say it was the visit with your dad, but seeing as you decided to wear skinny jeans today, I have a feeling there's something else going on~

Lucifer: you could have been nicer to my dick if you presented as a guy today-

Adam: and try and squeeze my fat ass and cock into your jeans? Yeah, no way in Hell, babe

Lucifer: you said you can shrink?

Adam: pft, yeah! But I don't want to be 5"2! My will crack the concrete, you know this!

Lucifer: you're not THAT big, ducky

Adam: shape changer, baby~. It can be as big as i want~ oh! Bread!

Lucifer could breathe as he thought long and hard about that visual- he really shouldn't be doing this in the streets. He jogged over to Adam, who already had three different breads in his hands.

Adam: babe look! Pull apart garlic bread! I'm so tempted to eat it raw!

Lucifer: it's not that raw, Adam... and I'm not sure I can handle you smelling of sulfur AND garlic

Adam: rude, I've always managed to cover the sulfur smell! Hell fucking stinks, babe!

Lucifer glanced around the store. Everyone was looking at Adam, only Lucifer wasn't sure if it was because of them talking about sulfur or because of his body, either way, it was making him unforgettable.

Lucifer: just quickly buy your bread

At some point they actually made it out of the bakery, Adam decided to have a very in-depth discussion about food with the owner. Lhcifer learned that Adam actually did a lot of baking back in Hell, and now he's got a whole handful of new recipes to try. The bakers here usually hold onto their recipes but when Adam said he's only here for a trip he handed them over right away. It definitely wasn't because Adam leaned forward to show him as much tit as possible, and joking about making a milk delivery to his shop.

Lucifer: I can't believe you did that- you're so feral in public

Adam: you think that's feral? You should have seen me when civilization was really taking off! I'd pretend to run around the woods like a crazy person! Scared the shit out of everyone!

Lucifer: we call that Bigfoot, huh~

Adam: big-what? The giant monkey thing? Seriously? They thought I was some prehistoric ape!? I've never been so offended!

Lucifer: I'm only joking! You've been messing with me all week, I think I deserve to have a turn

Adam: fuck babe, who knew you had it in you~?

Adam was pulled back suddenly, looking behind him he saw Lucifer not moving and looking up.

Adam: uh... babe?

Lucifer: we're here... the Vatican

Adam looked ahead, and sure enough, he could see it- well, part of it - they were exactly right next to the Vatican, but they were getting there.

Looking back at Lucifer, Adam could see how petrified he was, whether it was of the church itself or his father, Adam wasn't sure.

Adam: ...we can do this another time, Luci, I'm here to enjoy this place with you... I don't want you to be uncomfortable- and I'd feel horrible if you think you have to do this for me

Lucifer: it's alright... either way I have to go in there, they'd more than likely want a report on the Hazbin... and I suppose they would have found out about Father Alastor. And my dad... well, he's just the cherry on the shit cake

Adam: we can go home and head up some bread? I saw how you were eying the sourdough~

Lucifer: that does sound nice, Adam... but we should get this over and done with, I'd actually like to enjoy my last few months on earth, I won't be able to do that if I'm dreading this the entire time

Adam: okay, fair enough, we'll take it slow though, I'm in no rush

Lucifer: that's not like you, you're always begging for something to go faster- usually me~

Adam: fucker- don't do this out here, I'm always in a state of horniness and you're definitely not helping

Lucifer: that's the point~

After more walking, Lucifer really started to wish he brought the car because every few minutes, Adam was stopping to look at something or talk to someone. Who would have thought the Devil was charming and charismatic? Bastard.

He's lucky he's adorable when he's excited. Pinting random buildings out to Lucifer, stopping in front of shop windows, cooing at peoples dogs, and the strangest thing was him making bird noises. He looked like he was actually talking to the birds. What is happening?

Lucifer started to think Adamw as just stalling for him, because before he knew it, they were walking towards the enterence to the Vatican.

Lucifer could see the subtle shift in Adams behavior. His breathing got quicker, and he looked like he was in pain.

Lucifer: Adam? Ducky?

Adam: I-I'm okay, Luci... it's just been a while since I've stood on such holy ground...

Lucifer: Anything I can do? The babies will be okay- right?

Adam: babies will be fine, babe, I'm using my power to protect them from him... me on the other hand, I might be a bit weak, but everything should be fine as long as I don't reveal my self right away-

Lucifer: what will you do?

Adam: once I get to the main room, I'll release a few demons from Hell, and they'll take over the job of corrupting this shit hole

Lucifer: huh... don't you think that'll make you reveal yourself?

Adam: my demons are quick, they'll possess who they need to get the job done, it'll be fine, Luci! And to think, you could have met me here~

Lucifer: ha! Just imagining you possessing Father Andrew is hilarious to me

Adam: oh yeah? Why's that

Lucifer: man's ugly and old as fuck, just me, we wouldn't have fucked- no matter how much you flirt~

Adam: hm... that sounds like a challenge~

Lucifer: wha- what? Babe! You're pregnant! I won't allow my babies to be inside? Of Father Andrew! That's how that works?

Adam: No, not exactly, cute try though, babe

Lucifer: wait, that'll happen to the babies if you possess someone?

Adam: they're souls go to Hell until I reform their bodies! Which happens right away after I finish possessing someone-

Lucifer: yeah that's cool and all but I'd rather my babies stay here, close to me- to us, okay Addie?

Adam: I love seeing you be so protective of them, Luci~. I'll keep them here, they'll never leave us

Adam lent over and kissed Lucifers cheek.

Lucifer: thank you, Adam, that makes me feel better

Adam: good... now, shall we get this shit over and done with? I'm really craving that garlic bread

Lucifer: I'd believe it~

They walked their way to the front of the Vatican. Adam can feel the holiness burning his very being. It was uncomfortable, not painful, and he handled way worse. He was expecting the pain to be so much worse. But as he got closer, he soon found out why. This place was just FILLED with sin. His mouth just watered at the realization. This was going to be fun~.

Devil and the Priest!au

(Feel free to change the name- it's 1am where I am, so my brain is starting to fry lol)

@things-arent-what-they-seem66 @fanofstuff01

---

Lucifer drove through the country side, he's been behind the wheel for nearly 5 hours. He didn't realize how much of a drive getting to this monastery. He knew it was remote but this is getting ridiculous- he should have brought snacks.

He glanced out his window every now and then to take in the scenery. He's currently driving past a large body of water, where he spotted a small island. He wishes he was over there, with no worries or expectations. With no one but himself. The Vatican has been on his ass lately about making this trip. Apparently, there was something 'dark- and 'unsettling' at this monastery. If any of the priests he knew were anything to go by, it was probably just them. He swore they refused to die, they had more wrinkles than brain cells.

Lucifer turned his radio up, some type of rock song was one, it was a big no no to be listening to music like this, it's his car. Driver picks the music, and the Vatican shuts their cake hole.

Finally, as the sun was setting, Lucifer arrived at the monastery. The large stone building loomed over him, maybe the Vatican was right, this place was unsettling. He felt like he was being watched, the multiple colours in the sky masking how decrepit this place actually is. Pulling out a brochure from his pocket, Lucifer couldn't help but smirk, they're really trying to market this place like it's a holiday retreat.

Lucifer: "Welcome to the Hazbin. Find not only sanctuary and enlightenment but also beaches and the best crab around!" ...right, definitely staying away from the crab then...

After an exhausted sign, Lucifer licked his car and picked up his bags. Making his way towards the large wooden doors, Lucifer couldn't help but dread the next two or three hours, all he wanted was to hop into bed and close the world off foe a few hours but he'd probably have to take the whole tour and- ew- meeting people.

He shuddered at the thought.

Lucifer: I wonder if I could convince them to leave the formalities till tomorrow...

Lucifer gripped a huge, iron door knocker and banged it three times. He knew this could take a while so he prepared to get comfortable- until the door was pulled open.

Priest: Hello! And welcome to the Hazbin! How can I assist you this fine evening!

Lucifer: uh- yeah- hi, my name Luicfer, I've been told to come here by the Vatican- I've been told you're expecting me...?

Priest: hm... Lucifer...

The man flicked through a small book, humming every so often. What's the point in having glasses if you still can't read a damn book.

Lucifer: look man- sir- it's been a long drive, I'd really like to just get to sleep-

Priest: ah! Yes! Here you are, Lucifer! Please, come right in! We've been expecting you for hours, your overseer said you would be here this morning- but better late than never I suppose!

The man moved aside to let Lucifer in. He really didn't like this guy, but that's not new, priest are pretty... eccentric.

The man shit the door behind him, using at least six locks to secure it.

Priest: pardon my manners, Lucifer! My name is Alastor- Father Alastor. And I'll be your superior while you're here

Ah, great. He has to answer to this... lovely man. Forcing a smile, Lucifer did what he did best: lie.

Lucifer: that's very exciting Father Alastor, look forward to working with you and getting to know this place more personally!

Alastor: oh, I could imagine! I'm sure you've heard a lot about me! I've been in charge of five other monasteries before this one! All saw a raise in volunteers and profits.

Lucifer: that's fantastic, Father. It's a real honor to be working on this project with you-

Alastor: "project", yes, that's one word to describe it.

Alastor lead Lucifer down a long hall, hebcouldbt believe how quiet it was. He was told there were at least 60-70 nuns and other workers here but it just seemed abandoned.

Thankfully, Alastor showed Lucifer to his room, it was large with a queen bed in the middle. It didn't have much furniture, just a set of draws and a desk out looking the garden. It was dead and overgrown, but the air was fresh, he'll have to start taking up writing again.

Alastor: well! Lucifer, it is a real pleasure to have you here! Tomorrow I'll show you around and I introduce you to some of the other occupants here- there are quite a few so I do expect you to introduce yourself to some of them in your own time.

Lucifer dumped his bags on his bed, and turned to face Alastor.

Lucifer: that understandable. Thank you for this Alastor, I'll see you in the morning-

Alastor: bright and early Mr Lucifer. I like to get the day started as the break of dawn

Of course he does.

Lucifer: great! I better get some sleep then

Alastor: yes, you should. Goodnight Lucifer

Finally, Lucifer was alone. Or at least he hoped. He still hasn't shaking that feeling from earlier. Except this time, he was certain nothing was watching him, Alastor seemed to be the only other living thing here. And that's giving the bastard a lot of credit. Not once did he stop smiling- Lucifer already wants to wipe that look off his face.

All Lucifer wanted to do was sleep, so he got comfortable and started to drift off.

[m4xedout]

One fin wonder 3

Welcome to one fin wonder!

Cw: panic attack, mentions of blood and guts, reader is 14, Steven chapter with a little bit of Marc!

Enjoy! :)

••••••••••

Today's your day off, that whole computer Kevin boy thing was exactly two days ago, you hoped the craziness of your week would stop there.

But it was just the beginning.

You headed out to buy groceries, you were getting tired of Ramen noodles.

As you headed out to the shops, you found yourself in a crowded area.

You hated crowds.

Your breath becoming heavier and you felt as if everyone was staring at you, you tried to catch your breath until you knees buckled beneath you.

You fell to the ground holding back tears, with sharp heavy breaths you managed to scoot away from the path where people walked, until-

"Oop!"

Huh?

"Oh darling are you alright?" The- the guy it's him!

He reached his hand out to you and you hesitated, the state you were in you didn't want ANYONE to see you.

He wiggled his hand in front of your red welled up eyes

"C'mon, it's okay, I don't bite" he said in a calm collected voice careful not to frighten you more

Your shakey hand went out to grab his, and when you did he pulled you up slowly to us level.

"Oh dear are you okay? You seemed to have had a panic attack" he said

"Uhm.. uh yeah.. thank you-" "you're the kid from the shop!" He said allowed and quickly hushed himself.

"I'm sorry for bumping into you dear, I was in a rush, I had a date you see? And I was running late to go home and get ready and-"

"No no i-i got it" you interrupted him as he apologized for rambling

"Hey, I know this may be a little dodgy, but would you like to grab a cup of coffee? Or..tea?" He asked.

"Oh! Yeah sure, I was going grocery shopping anyways don't worry"

"Great!" He grabbed your hand and hurriedly ran out of the crowd as you squeezed your eyes shut.

When you got out you headed for the grocery store, the shops didn't have what you wanted.

"So!..what's your name?"

...

"Y/n."

"Lovely name!, I'm Steven grant"

Steven grant.

Steven..grant....

Nope, never heard of him.

On the walk you two started to talk about your jobs

"Yeah and her names Donna"

"Well Donna sounds like she has a stick up her ass"

"Hey!" He chuckles lightly punching you on the shoulder, he was kinda friendly now that you think about it.

Once you reached the coffee shop, he asked "Yeah and uhm for them.."

"Anything with chocolate is good for me "

"Oh okay then-" he stumbled over his words for your order, he told you to go sist down and he'd be right with you, he's like your

Like your dad.

.

.

.

You began to think about your father..

He wasn't a bad dad, but he was never around and, your mom...

"Heya! Here ya go" he handed you your drink as you began to sip from it.

"Sat next to you in your own chair and began to drink his tea

"Anything on your mind dear?"

"My parents."

"Oh dear they must be worried sick! I already paid the lady, come on now hon, oh dear what would they think about when they see you've been hanging out with-"

"They won't care."

"I don't live with them"

"Oh.. oh dear really? But you're so young" he said with worry patting your shoulder

"My mom lives with her boyfriend."

"And your father?"..

You look down into your drink

And a small tear drops into it

"Oh dear I'm sorry I didn't want to make you cry"

You sniffle "it- its okay, I just..I don't like bringing him up so much." You put your drink onto the table and push your chair back a little

" well I'm sorry" would you like anything to eat? You look a little skinny, not saying that's a bad thing of course I'm just saying-" your laughter interrupts him, he looks at you curiously

"You're very skiddish aren't you Mr. Grant?" You giggle

"Well I'm careful not to make people feel like there trapped in a box with me"

"Well yeah but, I am kinda hungry now that I think about it"

"Well! I know a place to get a good burrito!"

You left and got a burrito, and found out he was vegan, saw a man painted gold, took pictures, and left

You both said your goodbyes

Just to remember you forgotten groceries.

"God dammit "..

You walk up into your flat, and see

A man

A man is in your flat, and you just shut the door as loud as you could.

Dear God.

He looks back to you and rushes towards you

You dodge him and run to the kitchen

But when you go to grab a knife he grabs it from your hands and makes a small cut into your arm.

You yelp out in pain and kick him in the crotch.

You run as fast as you could to your room and grab your phone.

Until you hear.

Glass shattering.

A man screaming.

Bones snapping.

And raspy breath.

You creak open your door.

To see a white suit.

With a mask, his eyes were glowing white and he was speaking into a mirror as if it were responding.

He sounded so familiar.

"Holy shit.." you whisper.

His head snaps into your direction

.

.

.

"Y/n?."

••••••••

To be continued.

[roll-da-credits]

SC: Pro Heroes' S/o's Pet Not Liking Them

Characters: Keigo Takami (Hawks), Rumi Usagiyama (Mirko), Taishiro Toyamitsu (Fatgum)

A/n: this fic is brought to you by my rabbit who has unrivaled hate for any man except my dad. He would literally cuddle with my dad but the moment my friend comes who let me tell you ADORES my bunny, he would COMPLETELY ignore him and sometimes even bite him, not like nibbling like bunnies do when they're happy. No, full-on bites like incredibly hard, anyways hope you guys enjoy it. (Also, this was longer than I planned)

🖤❤️🖤

Keigo Takami (Hawks)

You would think Hawks would have a good relationship with birds right? Wrong.

Hawks in the eyes of birds was a bird of prey, which only means one thing, he's dangerous. This unspoken rule amongst birds who are usually weaker doesn't exclude your own pigeon.

It all started when Rumi (Mirko) decided that the group's movie night would be at your house for the first time ever. Obviously, you were rather excited, of all the times you had these movie nights they were never in your home. Another exciting reason was you couldn't wait to introduce Keigo, your lovey lover, to your budgie.

"Hey, birdie." Once you opened the door to your apartment Hawks was leaning there in front of you with a small bouquet of flowers, wearing some casual clothing. Giving a quick to your forehead, you led Hawks into your humble abode.

Your budgie, as always, flew towards you to greet the guest, like he would usually. But instead of landing on your shoulder, he instead flew around Keigo and dove to bite his ears and the exposed skin everywhere.

"So this is the friendly bird you've been telling me about???" Keigo slightly confused and panicked tried to lightly shoo away the flying menace.

You at this point didn't know whether to panic or to laugh at the situation. Your budgie was incredibly kind to everyone, even strangers you just met, and yet here he was, squawking at Keigo trying to bite him.

After a few minutes, you were able to calm your bird down, letting him rest on the crook of your neck and reassure Keigo that he was usually really kind to guests, which Keigo doesn't believe at this point. It wasn't until Rumi came knocking that you stood up to greet her.

Keigo, watched from a distance, excited to see Rumi get attacked by your menace of a bird. "What?!" He exclaimed pointing a judgemental finger at your bird who was now on Rumi's shoulder nuzzling her cheek.

"Scared of a birdie smaller than you Keigo?" Rumi's laughter mocked Keigo, and you couldn't help but let out a few giggles yourself.

"Awww love don't be like that!" You walked over to Keigo and enveloped him in a reassuring hug, still slightly giggling, "I swear I don't know why he doesn't like you."

When the movie started, you and Keigo were cuddling as usual with Rumi slightly third-wheeling, not that she really cared. Weirdly enough you felt a weird tension around you, when you looked over at Keigo, you saw he was staring at your budgie who was on Rumi's shoulder.

Both looking at each other with so much menace it made you burst into laughter. "Is there some kind of bird rivalry?????" Rumi now realizing what was happening laughed extremely loud. "Are you jealous of Y/n's BIRD???"

She teased Keigo, who in retaliation threw a pillow at her. He groaned and pulled you closer. "Whatever, but we're never having movie nights in your house again." You laughed a little before snuggling more into him, "Sure you big baby."

Rumi Usagiyama (Mirko)

"I'm telling you, that little piece of long-looking mouse stole my stuff!" Rumi yelled at you pointing an accusing finger at your ferret who was simply staring up at you her head slightly tilted as if confused about the whole ordeal.

This all started when Rumi decided to come to your apartment straight after patrol, something she's never done. She looked exhausted and in need of some comfort, so you let her in and gave her some clothes to change after showering,

When she walked in, she noticed your ferret staring at her. A weird sense of foreboding crept up onto her. She always had a slight suspicion that the creature didn't like her very much. Whether it was because she was taking up most of your play times with it, or something else, she couldn't care any less.

It was in the ferret's eyes, how they stared at her with intent and a glint of mischievousness. Though when she brought it up with you, you'd brush it off since ferrets are incredibly mischievous and smart.

But the icing on the cake was when she placed her clothes on top of a dresser, including her gloves, to take a shower. Only to come back with both of her gloves missing from the pile. The ferret looking up at her, as if challenging her.

"Rumi, love, why would she even know to hide BOTH gloves. She'd probably steal only one!!" Rumi's mouth fell agape at your statement. You were defending the THIEF???

"You said so yourself didn't you?!! Ferrets are SMART, SHE MUST'VE KNOWN." At this point it was borderline hilarious, so between your next words, you laughed and giggled.

"You probably just misplaced it, come on I'll help you search it. I'm sure we'll find it soon."

No

You both did not find it soon, it had actually been 30 minutes of nonstop searching. Searching your entire apartment close to twice already, you and Rumi both flopped on the couch, exhausted.

"Ok, maybe I should check her toys." Her being your ferret, you finally caved in and searched around her toys.

Low and behold.

"I TOLD YOU!!!" You found both Rumi's gloves tucked away in the long rubbery-plastic tunnel you made for your ferret.

Rumi crashed on the floor in a fit of laughter, with you holding the dirty gloves looking at your ferret rather disappointed at her. Your ferret looked up with its adorable eyes as if it had done nothing wrong.

"Your ferret's a demon I'm telling you!" Rumi wiped a tear from laughing too much.

"I'm sorry for not believing you." You said followed by an exasperated sigh. Rumi walked over to you and enveloped you in a bone-crushing hug, "It's fine, this was actually more fun than just watching random movies like we planned."

Taishiro Toyamitsu

Taishiro loves animals and animals love him. Both skinny and fat form, he's just a lovable person for every single living being. Animals, humans, plants, all of them thrive when being cared for by him. Including you, but excluding your cat.

Taishiro knew the moment you said you had a cat that he would have to work a little bit harder to get her to like him. What he didn't expect was for your cat to completely ignore him no matter what he did.

"Trying to woo her again?" You smirked a little bit when you saw him in his skinny form holding a small bag of catnip smiling rather sheepishly.

"No cat can resist catnip." He paused shortly, "Right?"

You giggled at his adorable antics, reaching up to slightly ruffle his soft hair. Inviting him you watched from afar as Taishiro approached your cat who was sunbathing near a window and, as usual, ignoring him.

He slowly approached her, his big hands slowly opening the bag. When he did, her head immediately darted at him, you stood up straighter at this. Really curious at the first time your cat acknowledged his existence.

Taishiro couldn't feel more excited at the moment and slowly got closer to her, shaking the bag slightly. Your cat's irises expanded, showing that she might be rather happy.

But just as Taishiro was about to pet her, she stretched from her position and walked calmly away from him. Ignoring him once again.

You stifled a laugh at his dejected form, shoulders slumping down and a dark aura surrounding him.

You draped your body over his back, a small attempt in hugging him, "Hey you'll get more chances, I'm sure she'll warm up to you eventually."

Taishiro looked up at you with watery eyes and a small pout, making your heart melt at the sight. "How about this? You'll get even more chances if you live with me."

Your eyebrows wiggled at him, and his slumped figure immediately brightened up. Crushing you in a tight bear hug and shaking you around. "I'll make sure your cat loves me."

[contentconsumer]

Hi! Could I request a strangers thing ship?

Im 23, female, and I lean more towards dating guys

Physical: I have a thicker athletic body build (weight lifting). Im like 5’5, long brownish hair that’s wavy and layered to hell, blue eyes, and I have tattoos and multiple ear piercings. I typically wear skinny jeans, converse or hi top vans, flannels or hoodies. If it’s hot I’ll wear jean shorts and loose crop tops.

Personality: I was raised by my single dad so I got his “take no shit” attitude lol. I’m also FIERCELY protective of my little brother, he’s the sensitive one of the two of us. I have a few close friends. My hobbies are video games, reading, and cooking and baking. I actually have a degree in culinary arts but I’m going back to school to be a teacher now. I freaking LOVE kids. I do have ADD so I tend to start projects and then switch to a new project before even finishing.

Thank you so much 😁

i ship you with eddie munson! you two would bond over tattoos and you always stick up for him when anyone tries to poke fun at school, he likes how protective you are over your friends and family and you spend a lot of time reading while he plays the guitar - he is also always the first person to try whatever you bake. furthermore, he's finds it very cute how you start and switch between projects and has found himself finishing some of them for you so you can happily move onto whatever you've got on your mind next.

ty for requesting - i hope this is okay ! <3

[slashingdisneypasta]

Greasy Weasel x Reader || Oneshot

Title: Lottie

Notes:

Pay no mind to the title- its just an homage to the original piece this is inspired by/for, for my own happiness ^^

So this is an experiment XD I don't think I got Greasy's character quite right (Even if it IS supposed to build on what little info we have) but I like it... sorta... I like the first bit, anyway XD

Plot: Greasy has known you nearly your whole life (Since you were left on the Toon Patrol's doorstep, anyway, with a note that said you belonged to Smart Ass), he raised you- but what happens between the two of you when you return from the Navy 4 years after shipping off cannot be constituted as platonic, in any way.

Warnings: Age difference, Dads friend/Friends kid (NOT pedophilia, Reader is like 24 in this and there were no feelings from his end until now), possible sexual references (I mean its Greasy so what do you expect), etc.

Glaring over your salad, which you play irritated with with your fork, as you lean back in your chair. "Greasy can we talk, in the hallway?" The fury is coursing through you right now, like the goddamn Nile. Where does he even get off saying stuff like this? He is in no position...

He must- he m u s t detect the absolute blood lust in your eyes as he takes a break from leaning on Chase, to you. But look ashamed at all, he does not as he shrugs - but does not speak. A tell tale sign that he's just as, if not more frustrated in the moment and as such, is so not in the mood to get berated, - and gets out his seat; heading for the hallway.

You watch him go with glaring eyes, not moving an inch, before looking at the rest of the table including Chase and taking a breath. Calm down Y/N, keep the anger to yourself... until you talk to Greasy, at least.

"Sorry about this guys, and Dad... " Your gaze flickers the the hallways door and you hop out of your seat, itching to tear into Greasy for his behaviour tonight, and the past couple days actually. "I'll be right back."

You pass your father on your way out, sitting in a recliner chair with earmuffs over his head to block out his family for a while.

As soon as you reach Greasy at the end of the hall, your face twists into a total scowl; all inhibitions and constraints disappearing.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?"

"I do not know what you mean, bonita." He mumbles around his grit teeth, arms crossed and resistant. You clench your fists, totally frustrated. Bitter, spiteful, awful man!

"The hell you don't. What was all that!? You've been acting like this since I got home! If you didn't want me back here, then you could've just said it! Woulda hurt a hell of a lot less then this."

At least at that, his shoulders relax for a moment- but his expression does not soften. And neither does the steel in either his eyes or his voice when he yells back, throwing an arm out to express his anger. "It isn't that I didn't want you back home, Y/N, its that you brought some inválido, with you! I did not expect that, from you!"

"Chase is not invalid- " You gasp, horrified at the way Greasy is speaking. Where is all the disgust, coming from? Greasy isn't like this, normally... in fact, you don't think you've ever seen him this senselessly an ass. Why!? "And you say that like its some mortal sin! I brought a boy home, I didn't kill someone- which you would not have the high ground over, either!"

"This was supposed to be family time! You've been gone for years and the first nights you're back, its with some chico!? He must mean a maldito mucho to you for you to possibly think he's worth hanging around with us right now."

"First of all, he does mean a lot to me. He's my friend- " Under his hat, you see Greasy's eyes deeply roll- a huff coming out of him as he tightly crosses his arms again. Like yeah right- "No, no. He is. Shut up. And second of all- if you just wanted to be with family then you could have just said! That doesn't excuse your behaviour." You glare ferociously, waiting for the real reason. Is he drunk, or something?? Honest to god you are baffled by the way he's acting- he's usually cooler then this. Out of any of your father's gang, he was the one you never really had to worry about. His antics made you laugh- but this? This makes you want to cry. Or scream.

You've gone for the second option.

"He does not see you as just a friend." He mutters back petulantly, avoiding looking at you now; Pulling his fedora down more over his face.

"So what!?" Even if he does, why would that make Greasy so mad? You cross your own arms. "You aren't my father and its is not your job to protect my 'chastity', Greasy."

He suddenly goes quiet, though the wrath from before is still clear in way his jaw is clenched. "... I know I'm not your father... " He mutters.

Something about that phrase stumps you. Of course he knows, but why does he look so ashamed? You uncross your arms, and take a deep breath.

"... Okay." Your eyes flash, looking up at him again; Anger still not sated. "Then why are you acting insane and harassing my guest!?"

A growl rips out of him and he bumps the brim of his hat upwards so he can look at you again, right in the eye. "I told you, I don't like that you brought him into this house!- "

"That's not it!" Its not. He's acting crazy about a boy who's acting absolutely lovely and polite. Its not.

You just want him to tell you what it really is that you did. You don't want to keep fighting with him, not with Greasy. You want your silly, campy, perverted Greasy back. Not this rotten version in front of you right now.

"It is!"

You press your fists brattily to your hips. "Is not!"

He bares his teeth and leans forward. "Is!"

"Not!-"

And then all the tension comes to a head, and something absolutely mad happens.

The first thing that you notice is the smell of his stupid expensive perfume filling your nostrils and embracing you, then your your hands curled tightly around the lapels of his suit, and finally the feeling of warmth and tingliness all over your body.

Because you're kissing Greasy.

Your perverted Greasy, one of your fathers best friends, one of the men that raised you, your teenage crush. Your kissing him on the lips and he's slowly reciprocating, his mouth moving carefully, but purposefully against your as he moves his body closer.

But there's anger, too. Your teeth are going to ache when you pull back for pressing into the kiss too hard and the tips of your fingers will pang when you let go of him but not quite yet-

Two sets of lips part and Greasy does this thing with his tongue that tears a long overdue moan out of you, and immediately he rears back like he was burnt. And you're left standing there cold again, completely shocked.

And aroused.

But mainly shocked, because you never expected that to happen but it did and now what are you both going to do?

The air is absolutely silent as you both catch your breaths, from the kiss and also from the fight, and hope your hearts stop beating quite so erratically very soon so you can act normal.

Then, because you've waited for this for too long and the moment is too good to pass up, you step over and kiss him again.

And he kisses you back, like he's totally unable to help himself from kissing you.

All the frustrations and tensions of the past few weeks go into it oh my god- you never expected Greasy to be able to kiss totally well, but it certainly does the trick as it has you holding onto him like your life depends on it, chasing your own pleasure but also experimenting- trying to drag pleasant reactions from him. See what he likes, make him moan.

Between kisses, he mutters 'Cariño... ' warningly, carefully. Like he knows he should stop but you're too good.

When you both finally pull back again minutes later, you're both wide eyed again though far less shocked about your actions, then before.

More scared.

"Don't tell Dad."

___REWIND: A FEW DAYS AGO WHEN YOU GOT HOME___

"Guys!" You scream, the moment your eyes land on the familiar group at the docks, utter excitement fills you up and you almost want to cry as you drop your bags with your friend in order to rush over to your family and throw your arms around the first man you reach- Stupid. "I missed you. I missed you, I missed you so much!!" You squeeze him, the familiar soft, worn feel of his shirt rubbing on your face as you cant help but smile.

"Duhh, Y/N!! We brought you (Favourite snack)!" Stupid informs above you, but squeezes you back in a moment, a happy whine escaping him at having you back there with him. And your hugs.

"Ohhh," Now you really want to cry. You're so overwhelmingly happy to be home and to see them again- and they brought you food. "Now that's what I came home for... " You joke, giggling a little bit tearily before pulling back and almost running in to Psycho, who holds up the snack.

You just wrap him up in a quick, tight hug. As always he's the warmest- like a lizard who's been sitting out on a hot rock for hours.

Next you find your father standing expectantly for you, fake annoyed that you didn't come to him first. "Hey, kid. Yeah, I told 'em you'd be none-too happy to see us if we didn't have your damn food. But this is some reception, for a regular pack."

"Hey, Dad." Your voice comes out wobbly and weak but in a good way, as he takes you up in his skinny arms and pink suit holding your head the way fathers do; Like someone with a bat is coming up behind you but he doesn't want you to know and there's no way in hell, that you're about to get hurt on his watch. "I missed you so much."

He sighs, and grumbles something about feelings, before burning his head down into the hug. "I missed you more kiddo."

After you father curtly lets you go, nodding stiffly at you as if it would save him his tough guy reputation, your attention is stolen by a familiar rusty, painful sounding voice. "Hey there, chickadee. No hello for me?"

"Wheezy!" You exclaim, thrilled. He holds up his hands.

"I wont take it personal if you don't wanna a hug me- wouldn't wanna get all smelly."

You roll your eyes, grinning. "Whenever have I ever cared about that."

"Hm." He grins, and you too hug warmly for a moment then you pull back and greet the last of your boys.

"Bonita, its good to see you of course. Nice to see you got into such good shape over seas- almost as good as me." Greasy grins sharply, before you two collide excitedly, so happy to see each other again and you press a quick kiss to his cheek. You picked up the habit when you had a crush on him, in your teenage years. Now its just routine. Yours and Greasy's thing together.

You squeeze his arms one last time, before letting go. "Oh, guys- " Sniffling, all teary and happy, you hide your face and pull yourself together. "Ahh... I'm sorry." Greasy pats your shoulder, as they all chuckle at your show of emotion- not that they're doing hugely better. Psycho blows his nose into his sleeve, teary himself.

Your Dad, although honestly as happy and serene as he can possibly be, with his hands in his pockets and his little baby back, glances off to your luggage still laying amongst bustling travellers a few metres away and the corners of his lips tilt down. "Boys- go get Y/N's stuff. I don't want it gettin' stolen."

Finally, you pull yourself together. "I brought someone I want you to meet! My friend Chase, he's- he's only stopping off here before moving on to his home further inland. And I was hoping he could have dinner with us tonight? Just, cuz, you know, its both our first night back?"

Your Dad squints at the guy who looks like he's guarding our luggage, as Stupid and Wheezy go and collect it. "That green bean there?"

"He's talllllllllllllllllllll," Psycho comments, giggling as he judges Chase.

"Yep, him." You agree, hoping your father is okay with it. you would hate to leave Chase alone in his apartment the days before his flight. He needs a good, family cooked meal for his first night off the ship!

"Yeah I guess." Smart Ass sighs, shrugging and sighing. "I just got noise resistant headphones- I don't gotta communicate with no one."

You grin. "Thank you, Dad!"

"Whatever."

"A boy?" Greasy pipes up, curiously from beside you. You look over and find him sizing Chase up, then turns to you and smiles weakly- a pale imitation of a teasing smirk. "You brought home a handsome boy?"

Rolling your eyes, you pat him on the back before heading over to Chase; not thinking much at all of Greasy's comment of the odd look on his face. "One, he's a man." Greasy rolls his eyes. "And he's just a friend! Wait here guys, I'll bring him over!"

___Greasy's POV___

"Hmmm... a friend." I shake my head, crossing my arms as watch Y/N interact with this 'Chase'. She picks up one of his bags for him and flashes him one of her pretty smiles, and he watches her move on ahead of him back to us. Por supuesto. For sure.

I watch him as a nauseous feeling rolls in my gut. I know that watch. That is not a 'friend' watch. If he was but a friend, he would be more concerned about the loose wooden board he's standing on rather then the chica's behind.

Perhaps I should tell Smartass what that boy is looking at-

As they come over, the nauseous, grinding feeling in me just gets stronger and I decide against opening my mouth to speak. I'm afraid of whatever might come out- I've never been good at withholding my... feelings.

Its only when the boy catches up to her, and us, and he puts an arm over Y/N's shoulders as she introduces us, and I stiffen up like a wooden plank, that I identify the feeling.

Its something I certainly shouldn't be feeling.

Not about Y/N.

The boss will kill me.

Maybe I can ignore it. Wish it away. Its probably just that I haven't been with a woman in a while, now... Si, that must be it. I am desperate. I good night or two with a lovely lady and I'll be fine.

But then the boy kisses Y/N's cheek and I only just manage to swallow the growl that fights to be torn from the back of my throat at the sight, and I realise immediately that this is going to be more complicated then that.

Far more complicated.

"And this is Greasy! Greasy, Chase." Y/N introduces us brightly, presenting him like he's important and Chase good-naturedly offers his hand to me. All I see though is the devil.

"Nice to meet ya! Y/N's told me about you, I hope we can get along." He beams while I glower, not moving at all to take up his hand.

Oh I doubt that we will, 'Chase', I truly do.

"So Chika!" Promptly I turn to Y/N, a smile on my face as I slip between them and wrap an arm around Y/N, leading her up ahead of the others and especially him. "You haven't told us about your travels much- Psycho ate your last postcard. We have to discuss!"

She glances back, concernedly, at Chase but I just prod her to start talking.

Maybe I can right off these feelings as protectiveness... like I'm supposed to be. I watched this girl grow up and I want her to be happy! I'm like... a... father...

My stomach rolls at the idea, but I swallow the horror down. I have to.

[f0xfordcomma]

Hello!! Happy FFWF!! Is there anything in particular that you find hard to write? Are there any WIPs that you've just absolutely given up on cause you think it'll go nowhere?? (would you share a bit of it? :D)

Croisty! Happy ffw tuesday (which tbh is earlier than I thought I'd be able to do these, so be proud of me lol)

I wish I had more to go off of in my writing portfolio to answer this question, but I think the thing I have the hardest time writing/ have avoided writing in my wips is just unfettered angst or like horror/ violence. Like character death? Gore? Fight scenes? (ooooh baby I SUCK at fight scenes) all of /that/ is just not really my forte as a writer. Don't get me wrong, I am not opposed to hurting my characters, but hurt/comfort is more where its at for me. You've read my stuff, so you know how emotionally driven a lot of my writing is. I think I would have a hard time writing more graphic/ heartbreaking/ violent *stuff* in my style. Idk, it would probably be a good thing for me to practice.... but.... I don't wanna (hands on hips) sooooo I'm not planning to really do anything quite like that anytime soon.

As far as abandoned wips go, I've got plentyyyy (or just verrrrrrry dusty wips that are not quite abandoned but are sitting very patiently on the shelf waiting for me to have the time to get back to them) Violent/ angsty/ deathy/ fighty abandoned wips though? Not so much.

But for you, mon petit croissant, have a bit of a miraculous ladybug reveal fic that I wrote one night after having a little ~ouid~ and convincing my husband to put on a sheet face mask with me that I now have no intention of finishing (oops, rip me).

okaaaaayyy so this is actually pretty dang long lol but I'm going to share the whole thing with you because I just re-read it for the first time in months and its pretty funny ~if you ask me~ so anyway... under the cut <3

NIGHT OFF

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t a totally crazy idea to take a night off.

Besides, Shadowmoth’s akumatizations had slowed down considerably in the past few months, and he rarely ever sent out two akumas in one day. The battle that she and Chat had fought that morning was brutal, but they’d come out victorious against HoneyBadger. Still, the fight had left her exhausted and wound up. Shadowmoth was planning something, she was sure of it. She just couldn’t, for the life of her, figure out what it was.

Ladybug was stressed.

Add to that, the fact that end-of-term exams were starting up next week and she’d not had nearly enough time during dead week to actually cram. Something about black butterflies and cranky kwamis and a cheeky cat (who, in recent weeks, had been considerably less cheeky.) Not to mention, she had been receiving an awful lot of memes, seemingly without preamble, from Paris’ favorite male model. Nino thought it was hilarious. Alya thought it was suspicious. Marinette thought it was confusing.

Marinette was stressed.

All of it was stressful.

*

Alya knew when her best friend was stressed. She could usually gauge the amount of Marinette’s exasperation by the frequency with which her bangs went flying from her face, propelled by a huff and a heavy sigh. Right now, Marinette’s bangs were a mess.

“Okay, girl. You need a night off.”

“What? No, I’m fine! Really! Plus, I can’t really afford to take a night off right now, Alya… I don’t know what Shadowmoth ha—”

“Yeah, no. I’m stopping you right there. For the next twenty-four hours, this space is a Ladybug-talk free zone,” she gestured vaguely around her bedroom, which was scattered with printouts and pictures that Marinette had brought over to work on nailing down Hawkmoth’s possible location using Alya’s beloved akuma-map. “I know, I know. It pains me more than it pains you, truly. But I’m doing this for you. Tonight: you, me, drinks, distractions. You are taking a night off.”

“But Alya! What if—”

“Hush, you know that’s incredibly unlikely. And, in the event of this IF you are so set on, you know that cat boy and I will have your back. Even drunk ladybugs can purify akumas when they have the clawed crusaders on their side.”

“I can’t believe you gave in to his silly nickname.”

“It is a badass nickname and you are just jealous that we bonded.”

“I’m not jealous. I’m annoyed.”

“Mhmm… keep telling yourself that, girl. Now, back to the matter at hand: what kind of drunk do you want to get tonight? Classy or trashy? I still have that peach stuff from last month, but if we are thinking classy I might need to call in the reserves to get us some decent wine.”

“You won’t need to call in anybody, Al, because I am definitely not getting drunk tonight.”

“Night off, Marinette. Drunkenness is a prerequisite.”

“Can’t we just watch movies or something? I really don’t know if that’s too good of an idea…”

“Girl, we watch movies every night. This is a night off. Don’t think I don’t see you stressing all throughout movie night every week, anyway. You need to take your mind off Ladybug,” she gestured at the mess that had consumed her bedroom. “And get your mind back on Marinette. Superhero or no, you’re still a teenage girl who is supposed to be enjoying the last few months of college.”

Marinette pouted.

“Stop pouting. You know you deserve to have normal girl fun.”

“But Alya I—”

“No buts.” An unnervingly devious look crossed Alya’s face. “Unless it is your butt in that pair of skinny jeans that you and I both know you-know-who loves. Boys will be here in twenty. Get to it, girl.”

Marinette just gaped at her. She didn’t even notice that Alya had grabbed her phone, but alas, there was the tell-tale ping.

Alya Cesaire → Akuma class OGs chat

Alya: anyone down for a little last minute get together—my door is open and my bar is stocked

Nino: HELL YEAH babe!

NL: got a new mix i’ve been meaning to show you… so entertainments on me fam!

Alix: This thing got an itinerary or just drunkenness for drunkenness sake?

Alya: the latter, natch.

Alix: Sick! Count me in.

Kim: same!

Rose: Do you need us to bring anything?

Alya: anything you feel like sharing

Alya: otherwise, just yourselves!

Alya: Agreste~you better bring us some of that expensive shit that i know your pops keeps somewhere in that castle of yours

Alya: no fancy wine, no admittance

Alya: the rest of you peasants just bring wtvr

Adrien: uhhhhhhhhhh

Adrien: ALYA

Adrien: dang it! You know I feel obligated to steal wine from my dad’s cellar now

Adrien: do you know how scary my dad is!!!??

Nino: DUDEEEE

Nino: DO IT you wont!

Adrien: shuddup Nino

Marinette: Adrien you totally don’t have to! Alya is just being **extra** Alya today

Alya: i plan a night off for this girl

Alya: and this is the thanks i get??????

Alya: can ya’ll believe this?

Alya: ridiculous

Zoe: UTTERLY RIDICULOUS

Adrien: utterly ridic

Adrien: dangit

Zoe: lol first! sorry adrien

Marinette: ugh ty I guess Als xxxxx

Alya: awe she DOES care, youre welcome babe!

Alya: so sunshine… about that wine?

Adrien: yeah yeah yeah

Adrien: use my people pleasing against me why dontcha

Alya: gladly <3

“Alya, stop bullying Adrien.”

“No way, girl. Giving that boy a task is the only way to ensure he shows up. Speaking of which… butt, jeans, go, now!”

The doorbell rang. Nino had perfected the quickest route to Alya’s house from every part of Paris years ago. Yes, he was whipped; and yes, he was proud of it.

“ALYA! I have to clean all of this up and I have to go home to get those jeans that you’re so dead set on and…”

“No you don’t. Kaalki?”

“Right here, Ms. Rouge.”

“YOU USED VOYAGE TO BRING ME JEANS?”

“No way girl! Don’t be silly. Kaalki and Roaar just volunteered to be my errand kwamis.”

“You guys do realize that I am the guardian, right?”

“Of course, that’s why we worked so hard to get everything that you need for tonight.”

“I—you… wait is this my good bra? How did you—”

“Us kwamis pay attention, Marinette.” Tikki cuddled up to her cheek.

“Et tu, Tikki?”

The ladybug kwami just giggled and made her way to the pile of papers scattered across Alya’s bed, starting to organize them back into neat stacks.

“Night. Off.” Alya punctuated each word with a shove and a smack on the bum, directing Marinette toward the bathroom and shutting her in to get ready while she got the door for Nino.

[cashtonwoah-blog]

Better Man // Part 1

Hey guys! It's been a while since I wrote any stuff on here, so apologies! This is a new Ashton Irwin Series, enjoy!

Warnings : Swearing, light smut.

Side note--this is a very different series to what I normally write. It's a long one!

"Do you have Fanta Lemon or Orange?" I hear the old man say at the pool bar desk.

"Both! Which will it be?" I politely ask the customer. He agrees on one of each. I smile, walking over to the machine to pour a drink. I give the man his drinks, complete with ice and a lemon slice in the Fanta Lemon.

"Thanks" he says, adding a creepy wink at the end, shoving a crumpled €5 in to the tip jar on the work surface. I weakely smile, thanking him for his tip.

It's March, and it's currently 21 degrees in Santa Cruz de Tenerife, and I'm working for a 6th day in a row. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. It was only meant to be a summer job, working in a restaurant bar at a five star hotel for 3 months during my university holidays. I had it all figured out, work during the summer abroad to save money for my 2nd year at university, however life took a different path. I ended up failing my last essay, meaning that I would have to retake the whole year, so I decided to drop out of university all together. My Dad ended up marrying this blonde women I'd met appropriately 5 times in 6 months, so I decided to move out. In the end, staying in Santa Cruz de Tenerife was a better plan, no family, no university, just my friends out here and work, and that's all that mattered.

"Y/N, go have your break" I hear my boss, Andre shout from the store cupboard. I take my apron off, grab a glass of water and head to the break room. I open the door to find my best mates, Camila and Ed, already sat in there, probably gossiping about someone.

"Y/N! Come join us, we're bitching about Margot again" Ed laughed, pushing a chair towards me.

"Let me guess, she left the cups in the dryer again?!" I sighed.

Ed and Camila hated the new girl, Margot, who had just started working shifts on the bar. It would be unfair to say she was bad at her job, she is awful. From spilling drinks to over customers to making basically poisonous drinks, she couldn't get the hang of it.

"She left me to do all the washing up again today, it's pissing me off" Camila moaned.

I rolled my eyes.

"Maybe mention it to Andre, maybe she needs more training".

Camila laughed.

"Nope, she needs to leave. She isn't cut out for this job" she replies, high fiving Ed. I rolled my eyes again.

"Anyway, what's up with you? Any new guys on the scene?" Ed winked at me, resting his hands on his face, like he was waiting for some big story.

"Oh please, next question" I scoffed, taking a mouthful of drink to clear my dry throat. Since moving to Santa Cruz de Tenerife permanently, I'd become best friends with Ed and Camila through work. We were a smiliar age, but very different people. Camila had been seeing a guy, Pete, for 8 months when I first met her, and Ed was in an on-off thing with the lifeguard at the pool, Mateo. Where as me, I'd been single for a good 2 years. My last relationship was with a guy back in England, which didn't end so nicely. I decided that my move to Santa Cruz de Tenerife would maybe bring some new love into my life, and a year later after moving here, I was still single.

"Well what about Matias?" Camila sighed.

"Not my type, too chatty" I laughed.

"Ben?"

"Not funny enough"

"Mateo is nice" Ed laughed.

"Yeah, before I realised he only went out with me because he fancied you!" I laughed.

"Seriously though Y/N, where are you gonna find someone and stop being so fussy?" Camila asked.

"When the time is right Cami, just not now I guess!" I jokingly snapped at her. I loved my friends, but do wish that they'd get off my case about finding someone. I wasn't really in the mood for dating at the moment.

"Anyway... Moving on... What you got planned for this weekend?" I asked my friends.

"Well, there's fuck all to do here, so we could head into town, have a night out?" Ed suggested.

"Sounds good, and, maybe I could ask Pete to bring a mate..." Camila winked at me. I groaned.

"I better get back to work, see you later!" I got up and walked away before she could finish what she was going to say.

"Okay girl, think about it!" she laughs, seeing how annoyed I was getting. Ed nudges her playfully.

****

It's 12am, and my shift is coming to an end. I close up the outdoor bar, pack away the glasses that Margot didn't do from earlier. I hang my apron up, and head to the main reception desk of the hotel to sign out. I see a few regular hotel guests and say goodnight to them. Just as I get the staff sign out book, I hear a slam of a door behind me. It startles me so much that I drop the book onto the floor. I groan, bending down to pick the book up. As I go to pick it up, a set of hands also reaches for the book and helps me to pick it up. I look up, and see a man with messy curly hair, wearing a polka dot shirt and skinny black jeans. He gives me a warm smile, as he gives the book back to me.

"Gracias" I thank the boy in Spanish.

"No worries" he chuckles in English, with an Aussie twang. He warmly smiles, before reaching to his Jean back pocket, getting his mobile phone out to answer a call.

"Sorry" is all the boy says, before walking off.

I stand there, all confused for a second, before then realising that I need to sign out of work. I sign my name, and head for the exit of the hotel.

My drive home is a quiet one, thinking about the curly haired boy in the reception area. Yeah he was cute, and smartly dressed. I chuckled to myself, hoping to see him the next day around the hotel.

***

"Two beers coming up" I smile at the young couple on their holiday. Its a busy down round the pool today, lots of new arrivals, after all it is the school holidays. I place the young couple their drinks on their table before heading back to the bar to clean some drinks. The curly haired boy has been on my mind all morning. Yes it was a brief encounter. Yes I thought he was cute. And yes, I wanted to see him again.

"Y/N, can you go to reception? There's an early check in" Andre asks.

I head to reception, and I'm greeted by a young women with black hair, and a tall blonde haired boy. They look very young, but cute together. As I approach them, I greet them.

"Welcome to the Hotel La Flora, my name is Y/N" I smile. I see Ed across the counter, checking the young couple in.

"Thanks Y/N, I'm Sierra and this is my boyfriend Luke". She smiled, her boyfriend Luke offering a hand for me to shake. Polite, I thought. Once they're all checked in, I carry their bags to the room on the top floor, our penthouse deluxe room. Normally only wealthy businessmen or celebrities hire this room. I open the door, set the cases on the beds and open the French doors to show the young couple the huge balcony. The view fell the balcony is beautiful.

"You've got a beautiful view here, perfect view of the beach" I smile, handing them their keys.

"Would you like any help unpacking?" I ask.

"No thank you Y/N, thanks again" the boyfriend Luke smiles, handing me a €20 tip. I widely smile at this very generous tip, making note of the generous offer.

"Thank you that's very kind". I smile, placing the money into my pocket. I walk around the rest of the apartment, opening the other doors to show the couple around, including the 2nd bedroom.

"Ah, Ashton and Kay will be just fine here I hope" I hear the girlfriend, Sierra say to her boyfriend.

"Yeah, I'm not sure about Kay though" Luke mutters. I hear a deep sigh from the girl.

"I'll leave you guys to it, I hope you enjoy your stay. " I smile, thanking them again for the tip, before shutting the door to give them time to unpack. I run down to reception, to gloat at Ed for the huge tip.

"Comeon that's not fair, I checked them in!" he moans, trying to take the money off me.

"Well maybe next time you carry your own bags!" I scoff at him, playfully sticking my tongue out at him, before skipping back off to the bar.

****

It's 3pm, and things have gotten a lot quieter around the pool bar. People are starting to head inside for evening plans. I grab a book, The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, and read a few pages, before spotting a girl heading towards the bar. I set my book down, and greet the girl with a warm smile.

"Hello what can I get you today?"

"Tap water, make sure it's cold" she snaps, not even looking at me. I pore the girl a tap water, noting her tone. Rude, I thought.

"Thanks, sorry if I snapped at you, just been one of those day, you know" she sighs, looking at her phone still.

"I get it, it's OK" I say, not wanting to be nosy and ask what's happened. Before I can say anything else, she calls someone.

"I'm here, where are you?" she snaps to the person on her phone, before walking towards the door to the entrance of the bar. As she walks towards the door, a familiar face walks in, wearing a red t-shirt with skinny Jean shorts and Ray Ban sunglasses. I sigh, it's the curly haired boy from last night with the sign out book.

"Kay, you're early" he says, hugging the girl.

"Well I wanted to see you, is that so much of a problem?" she snaps.

"Not here, please" he requests, looking at me, before looking at the floor. He gently grabs her arms and they walk off. Dramatic, I thought. I continue to read my book.

Some people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them," I said.

"Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway".

That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway."

I deeply sighed at the quote in the book, before taking a sip of my ice tea.

"Are you Okay?" I hear a voice say. The voice startles me, as I spit out my drink over the counter. I can feel my face going bright red from sheer embarrassment.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry Sir" I say, running around to the back to get a cloth and wipe up the mess. I come back and see the curly haired boy looking at me and laughing.

"It's okay, I shouldn't have disturbed you during your book reading" he laughs, looking at my book. I continue to politely ignore him, clearing up my mess. I noted that my book was now covered in ice tea.

"Damn, guess I'll be needing a new book" I laugh, looking at the boy.

"Sorry, I'm so sorry Sir, it was very unprofessional of me to-" I apologise.

"No need... Um.... Y/N" he interrupts, looking closely at my name badge.

"Thank you." I awkwardly chuckle. There's a pause before either of us say anything.

"So.. Can I get you anything sir?" I ask, resuming my duty.

"Gin and tonic please" he responds. I head to the bar, and pour the man a drink. As I head back to the bar I note that he's taken a seat in front of my work station. Odd, I thought.

"There you go" I politely say, placing the drink in front of the boy. He smiled, taking a huge gulp of the drink. He sits there in silence, so I decide to make light conversation while cleaning a few glasses.

"So, everything okay?" I ask. For a few seconds he doesn't respond, he just stares into his glass.

"Yeah, just one of those days, y'know?" he says, scoffing under his breath, before finishing the rest of his drink. He lightly taps the top of the glass, indicating that he would like another, I head to the liquor counter and make him another one.

"I get what you mean, do you wanna talk about it? You wouldn't believe the stories I've heard working here" I softly reply.

"Maybe after a few of these ill open up" he cutely laughs. I hand him his second drink, to which he finishes all in one.

"Woah okay, take it easy yeah?" I say, slightly concerned.

"Nah its okay, I'm good with my drink. I remember having a drinking contest with Mike and Calum in LA after a gig... Good times." he reasurres me, asking for another drink. I make him another one, but deliberately put less alcohol in it, just in case.

"Oh so you're in a band?" I ask.

"Yeah, been together for quite a few years. Been touring for a few months so it's nice to have a break... Or so I thought" he mutters the last part.

"That's cool. What sort of music do you play?" I ask, continuing to clean glasses.

The boy pauses, looks confused into my eyes. I can't tell if he's mad at my comment or going to pass out.

"Oh, so you don't know who I am?" he asks confused.

I pause for a second. Shit, I've offended him.

"I'm sorry, just that music out here is a mixture and-" I panic.

"Hey no its okay! To be honest it's quite nice to not be well known" he smiles at me, taking a sip of his drink.

****

3 hours later, and the boy is still sat in front of me, drinking his millionth G&T, and I've joined him, having one or two won't hurt at work. He tells me his life story, the more drunk he gets. Turns out him and his band are quite well known globally. He tells me the awards they've won over the years, and tour stories. He tells me about the time one of the Jenner-Kardashian crew didn't get their band name right at an awards ceremony. He seems incredibly proud when talking about his band mates, who are also his best friends.

"So you've never really heard of us? " he slurrs a little.

I giggle. "I don't think so. Hum me one of your songs" I reply.

All of a sudden, he gets up on the bar stool and starts singing.

"Sometimes I’m feeling like I’m going insane

My neighbor told me that I got bad brains"

He is screaming at the top of his voice, standing on a bar stool in an empty bar. I'm crying with laughing at this, amazed at how he hasn't fallen off the bar stool. He says two lines of a song, that freezes, and hums.

"I-I can't remember how the rest goes" he laughs, climbing off the stool.

"That's okay" I laugh, wiping tears from my eyes.

"Did you enjoy that?" he laugh, shooting me a playful wink.

"I did actually, I'll keep an eye out for it in the charts" I laugh back. Suddenly his phone rings in his pocket. He groans, answering the call.

"Luke! Yeah I'm good, just in the bar. Yeah ill be up in a minute." he states bluntly, before hanging up. He stares at his phone, looking somewhat sad.

"Everything okay rockstar?" I chuckle.

He awkwardly chuckles back. "Yeah I guess just women stuff".

"Wanna talk about it? Funnily enough I'm quite knowledgeable in that area" I smile.

"Just my girlfri-ex girlfriend." he scoffs.

"Oh, wanna talk about it still?".

"She's here, on holiday wit-with me and my best mate and his girlfriend and I honestly don't know what. We're done, like done-done months ago, y'know?" he slightly slurrs.

"Yeah I get you" I sigh, remembering not so long ago I went through the same thing back in England.

"Why is sh-she here? She said she wanted to be mates and I agreed, but then she wants to acted all like a couple in public, but hates me when it's just me and her" he says. Im sympathetic towards this guy.

"Maybe talk to her while you're here, a little bit of sun and a different sight might work things out" I suggest, trying to cheer him up.

"Yeah, you're right. We're definitely done, I just want her to leave me alone basically" he scoffs.

"Sounds awful, but I don't want a relationship right now you know? I just wanna explore the world with my band, but also have something on the side, y'know?" he says. I stare at the harshness in his voice, yet I understand what he means.

I sigh. "um, yeah, I know exactly what you mean".

Just as the boy starts to speak again, the blonde hair boy from earlier walks in. He kicks his heals on the wooden floor, like in an inpatient manner.

"Ash, are you okay?" he asks.

The curly haired boy sighs. "Yeah I'm alright man, just needed a break. I just want her to go".

"Well Sierra is talking to her now, I think she's gonna head off so you can have a break" Luke replies. Luke notes my presence.

"Sorry, he hasn't been a pain has he?" Luke sarcastically asked.

I laugh. "I can reassure you sir I've had much worse."

The curly haired boy stands up from his bar stool slowly, trying to not stumble.

"Comeon, let's go have a nap" Luke says, putting his arm and shoulder under the curly haired boys armpit to support him.

"Do you need any help?" I ask.

"It's okay, he just needs a nap" Luke laughs.

"Thanks Y/N, see ya around!" the curly haired boy laughs. Luke walks off basically carrying the curly haired boy back to his room.

"She's kinda cute, right?" I hear Ashton attempting to whisper to his friend. I quietly giggle at this.

"Shh drunk boy" Luke laughs, helping his mate. They both leave the bar together, leaving just myself around an empty desolate bar, surrounding with 7 empty G&T glasses. I laugh to myself, thinking about the last 4 hours of chat we've had, hoping to have more with the curly haired boy sometime soon.

****

Part 2//

[writings-of-a-narwhal]

Happy Storyteller Saturday! Something I feel like I don't see enough of here: appearance! What does/do your character/s look like? Art, descriptions, whatever you've got! -elliswriting

i’ll do my best to describe my ocs!! :D

Amary Braddock – she has brown skin and curly, black natural hair. just at 5′. she’s a bit stocky. scars are all over her body. dark brown eyes. a smirk that speaks of mischevious things, a smile that’s heartfelt. a little bit of pudge. constantly with a bottle of whiskey in her hands. calloused hands, 

Eira Braddock – the same skin and hair as Amary, but she clocks in at about 5′ 4′. her eyes aren’t quite as dark as Amary’s. she has a delicate demeanor about her, a nervous air. her smile is tremulous. she’s soft, though. her bones don’t stick out like Rosar’s.

Rosar Braddock – as the third sister, she has similar hair and skin to Eira and Amary, but she has vitiligo that forms through the story and makes pale patches on her skin. her eyes are dark brown, but her pupils are silver from cataracts. she’s about 5′ 11″ and skinny- a little too skinny. little scars and callouses on her hands. her hair is usually braided back.

Finlos Holmwood – a broad-shouldered guy who has hazel eyes and brown hair. he has a few missing teeth but you don’t need to worry about that. a clean-cut looking guy, especially when he’s in his knights armor, which is a pale gold with bronze detailing and green underclothes. looks stern but is actually kind. 

Lumi Rosewood – bright red hair and bright green eyes. she’s around 5′ 7″ and a Mess. she wears dresses like Belle (before she goes to the palace with Beast) and she has an apron that’s covered with paint. pale skin. a set of four scars that look like claw marks down her back. 

Leaf – a cat! a house cat the size of a lynx!! bright green eyes and she looks like my cat (see below)

The Keeper – dark red shaggy hair, eyes that might have once been green but are now shadowed. he’s a scraggly looking kid, and shadows just cling onto him. pale skin. he looks a bit like a ghost.

Cintu – a big, black wolf with glowing yellow eyes. he has a large frame, broad and tall, but he’s so malnurished that he weighs half as much as he should. he has a lot of sharp teeth, his fur is uneven and coarse, magic and shadows drip from him.

Barrow Reeves – one brown eye, one blue eye. neatly groomed dirty blond/brown hair. he wears three piece suits and dress shoes when he isn’t working. he doesn’t have a six pack, not nearly. he has soft eyes, smiles, and facial expressions. he’s about 6′ tall. 

Marigold Reeves – bright blue eyes and blonde hair that’s always curled. she’s at  5′ 2″ and has all soft edges. she’s not skinny, not at all. you could actually call her fat. but she doesn’t care. she smiles kindly and wears pink frilly things. white lace gloves and petite little heels. fairly pale skin.

Athum – at 6′ 1″ he stands. he doesn’t have a frame that speaks of strenght, but he’s made himself strong. an angular face, haunted eyes, and dark circles under his eyes. he has a kind smile and gentle mannerisms. 

Jayah – she’s about 6′ herself, and she’s got a sharp appearance. sharp cheekbones, thin lips, and dark eyes that promise nothing but death. her fingers are slender and cold, her nails long and sharp. always adorned in fancy materials and jewels. 

Erihhn – an older man with a frame that speaks of strength. at 5′ 6″ he doesn’t seem very intimidating. the wrinkles on his face speak of things he’s seen– or maybe it just shows how much he’s worked. he creeps me out. 

Jeris – a guy with broad shoulders with short salt and pepper hair, a scar that obscures the left side of his face, and brown eyes that shine with warmth. Dad-shaped with calloused hands. he’s about 5′ 8″ and is bow-legged. skin burned dark from the sun.

Warin – a strong but slender man with long black hair with streaks of gray, crow’s feet, and smile lines. Slender with gentle hands and kind black eyes. he wears the loose clothing of Isserans and sits cross-legged a lot. he’s about 6′ 5″. he wears glasses!!

Culraes – a stocky young guy that isn’t as broad as he might be. 5′ 10″. missing his left arm from the elbow down. always scowling. he wears jewelry. and here is a pic that @woodhouse-jay drew of him!!

Lei-ya – a not so skinny woman who always has a crease between her brows. brown eyes, dark hair, and ink covers her hands always. around 5′ 7″. her hair is always just barely contained.

Jayi – a description of her is here

Sazai – i have a description of her here

Tasiriti – a young girl with a defined jawline, haunted brown eyes, dark hair that’s braided back, and fingers that are torn so much they ooze blood. she’s just under 5′ but still has time to grow!! she’s skinny and able to fold herself up. she has a scar on her neck and is going to earn more scars. 

[the-firebird69]

So I took photos cue and I walked down the street one day in Florida and there are several excited me and they're taking pictures and I was growling at the people taking pictures and they ran in fear and some people spot me from far away instead of screeching really loudly screeching at people run run it was a much more strange reaction cuz people thought that it was some sort of demented crocodiles that was Raijus walk. But when I walked down the street with my cracking people are screaming for miles there was showing each other what it was and sending it to people and their people who are 4 miles away finally a screaming inside the house I don't even near there people who are seeing it with telescopes or screaming but they're screaming I don't know just it is the most nasty looking monster you've ever seen you look at it and it's like trespassers they do the same thing with him just a massive vulgar-looking monster life is not as bad the Thor and I have had it with these people. You want to be vulgar and gross and nasty I'll show you a vulgar and gross and nasty that you won't believe. And believe me Raiju is a very strange monster to see walk by you it does look like a crock of Gator so your action is is that a crocker a gator walking upright. But the initial reaction to the Kraken is we going to run like hell and we get to get out of here hahaha he's showing me King of Queens father elderly man telling Doug Pepperdine we have to get out of here we've got to run and hepadine says I know Dad I know so they go out the back way come back out the front. The Kerry go screaming out the front door right past him they told him to wait up

But no it makes people feel weird it makes them think of comedy and things is a horrendous monster it looks like an alien it looks like bug like it looks like octopus like a lot of people are terrified of octopuses and afraid of bugs terrified of bugs and terrified of aliens it's a matter of fact these xenomorph is a terrifying monster I'm still afraid of them cuz they're all black and their head is grotesque and their mouth is nasty but they're not very huge and the crack is usually bulky and built not like the skinny when they show and he is horrendously evil looking so I'm walking down the street and I had a two-legged version it looks like an outrider and he's got real huge arms but four of them and he's got smaller tentacles but they're there he walks like a Man and people are going to look at that guy or what some people started screaming like 12 feet tall and pretty built like you see in the image and a whole bunch of people ran like 300 yards away to start running away from me and everybody near me started screaming the top of their lungs so the screaming at me I'm just looking and screaming and not moving so I scream back they started running myself are you stupid to get out of my way see these people doing with me cuz you just move when you lazy your s***. So people ran and they clear the area I can hear all of them calling the police screaming into the phone get down here damn there's a damn guy yelling on the phone you have to understand and I can hear corky you don't get it I can hear Max you need to move and you need to move now and the woman I can't believe it it's horrific he is a true monster this kid was lying get your ass down here the cops were coming from everywhere I mean they were coming from all over different towns and everything started wailing on people and eating them they got about 20 ft tall I'm eating hole and then 40 ft and the cops committed so holy s*** so I grown on the legs and that was massive I mean I probably weighed about 50 to 80 tons which is two of those still trusses from the bridge job or three and it's very heavy they got bigger about 80 ft and a way to watch as much as a skyscraper at that short height to get very heavy real fast as you grow outwards they called in tanks and air support and I start getting real big but 120 ft and before you know these Giants come running down the road with huge cannons and I thought oh crap and they were like 800 ft tall and I'm only like 200 ft tall gross sucking big huge bug and they start to go I'm going to be sick one of them threw up they're pretty built they started firing and decided to just take off because I'm going to show I can cream and pretty easy and the whole town is like thank you thank you and they're eating regular food and cows and stuff this type of drive was for hired for protection and they paid them and stuff and the Giants saying wow that worked out pretty good you got the lucky but you have cannons you know. Did the Giants understood they know they're dangerous they said we might not do so well next time he comes back and he's angry well it's probably not real personal though and I don't think he really care too much she just didn't want to beat all the Giants in front of everyone is that laughing that makes sense an attitude was just like well I think I'll take off really then they can really move I mean they go real fast see what I feel slow and hit them with a few shots. The giant said it's true too I want to see what it would do it didn't do anything so turn around and looked and swam under and they were leaving already it was a huge huge thing for the whole city it was in Florida

Zues Hera

That's great Hera is reliving it and saying they're just screaming and sitting there friend Frendo. I can't do scarce people okay in areas that I used to see it Gators Crocs I guess I just got to go what is that weird thing hey buddy get down how much people do that down and out and it wouldn't fall insane like growling and then we've heard that before opens his face up in the second head comes out and then we've never seen that before she must be a mutation so they don't do much it's damn awful

India God and Goddess

[biggy-habes]

Yesterday ended up being the day that I had been dreading for a while. I had to say goodbye to my best friend. My little buddy. My copilot. My Road Dawg.

Fennie passed on from this life on July 3rd in the comfort of his own home with me and Kat holding him until the very end. This was something that I had promised him from the very beginning. A promise that I would never leave him. That I would be with him until the very end. And that I would always be by his side. I owed him that much.

Fennie's path crossed mine back in 2010 when I walked into the animal shelter at Fort Sill, Oklahoma. I was looking for a small dog that would fit in my tiny 1BR apartment. I got to his cage and I saw a skinny little shit that looked like he wanted to get out of his cage and eat me and my first thought was "This pup has spunk!" He had a deep, bright orange coat and a fluffy tail that made him look like he was part fox and had these dark orange freckled spots on his white nose. His face could only be described as "scampish". The worker asked if I wanted to take him out and spend some time with him to see if he warmed up to me so I took him outside in the visitation pen. He didn't seem all that affectionate and was not particularly friendly with me. But there was something about him. I saw something within him. I asked about his history and all that was known was that he was 2 years old and had been surrendered by an elderly couple for being too aggressive. I looked at this tiny little guy and wondered "How much trouble could he be?" 15 minutes later I was walking out with this Spaniel mix (whose original name was actually Lucky. Clearly that name would not stick around for much longer.)

Fennie was originally supposed to be a dog that my girlfriend at the time and I would raise together. However when we split up it was agreed that she would get the cats and I would keep Fennie. It was this decision that would change my life forever. I would no longer be able to use the bathroom without someone worrying where I went. For 11 years this dog would never leave my side. And if I had to be gone for an extended period of time it was preceded with the promise that I would ALWAYS come back for him.

One thing that Fennie will always be remembered for was his never-ending energy. He was constantly going 100 miles a minute. He could not slow down and he would never tire. It was like they took the vigor of a large golden lab and stuffed it into a tiny 20 pound body. No hike was ever long enough. There were never enough objects for him to hump. When he was around 4 I can remember thinking "I cannot wait for him to get a little older so that he will slow down a little bit". Well I would end up waiting for that day to come for a very, very long time.

Despite his size and stature, Fennie always felt like he was so much bigger than he actually was. No matter where he was he would walk around with a poise that he owns all that can be seen and anyone or anything intruding in his territory would have to answer to him. At the dog park he would go up and snatch toys from dogs that could CLEARLY beat his ass without even giving it a second thought. He had some big ol' brass balls, man! He never viewed himself as being in the Not-Even-2-Feet-In-Length, 20 pound body that he was in. He was always vigilant and on guard. No box, package, suitcase, or bag was able to get past him without going through a rigorous sniff search first. He took his job as protector of his territory and his Daddy very seriously!

Fennie would end up living a life that few other dogs would get the opportunity to. As being with a person who is constantly drifting, he got to see more of this great country than most of the people that I know. He has been on the boardwalk in Myrtle Beach. He has been to the mountains of Flagstaff. He has been to ABQ, New Mexico. He has been to Detroit Rock City. He has touched the top of the highest peak east of the Mississippi. He has visited the aftermath of the destruction caused by the tornado in Joplin, Missouri. He has been to Kalamazoo. He has been to Vegas. In his lifetime he has marked Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, New York, Ohio, Michigan, Indiana, Missouri, and Illinois as his. He has been through 3 tropical storms, 3 ice storms, 2 tornados, a blizzard, and an earthquake. He has scrapped with a bull terrier and lived to tell the tale. His life was full of adventures, road trips, and hikes.

I’m not going to lie and say that he loved everyone that he met. But I will say that he has touched the heart of everyone that he ever encountered. He was honestly the right dog for the right person at the right time. We shared so many of the same character traits. He was moody. He got irritated very easily. He just had a way of pulling you in. He was lovable, yet complicated. He was selfish and jealous. He didn’t really like to engage in play with any other dogs. He wasn’t one to share. There was never any “Lets Play Fetch”. He had a fiery temper. He was overly cautious. He had a tendency to be untrusting. I have many friends and family that bore the mark of meeting him on their fingertips for a few days afterwards. But he could also be affectionate, and funny, and had the tendency to be a bit of a klutz. He was a great cuddler! And for such a small dog, he had a personality that would burst at the seams.

In his 11 years with me he has shown and taught me so much. He taught me the value of loyalty. If I could use 3 words to describe Fennie then they would be “Loyal…As…FUCK!” Relationships would come and go but he stuck by my side no matter what. He had my back and was willing to protect me at the drop of a hat. And he refused to let anyone or anything come between him and I. He taught me patience. My LORD he taught me some patience!! He taught me that however old you are, you can still be young at heart. And he taught me to love unconditionally. I was not always the best owner. I would get upset at him for things that he had nothing to do with. He would get scared when I would lose my temper. And yet he would still come over to me to comfort me and let me know that he was there for me when I was done. And I cannot tell you the amount of times I accidentally stepped on his paw while walking or whacked him in the head while opening a cabinet, and he would just sit there looking at me like “Eh whatever. So what’s up with that walk you were talking about?”

Although I had other pets growing up, Fennie was the first dog that was MINE. And he is not a someone that I could ever forget. He traveled with me as I bounced from place to place and would only give me a look as if to say "Hey man, I trust you. Just don't leave me." He devoted his entire life to me, and it was only fitting that I spend his whole life by his side. And he gave me a pretty awesome life. I had noticed that he his health had been declining about a year ago. He started slowing down. Getting up was getting to be more of a struggle. His stomach started having issues. He ended up requiring a surgery. I asked myself if the cost of the surgery was worth getting 6 more months with my little buddy. I ended up getting a year. I got my money's worth.

Fenway "Fennie" Haber, affectionately referred to as Foo Bear, Bubba, Fennie Foo (or Fennie Foo Bear if you aren't into the whole brevity thing) will always be remembered for his temperament, his charm, and his overall cuteness. Just like his dear Papa. I was so fortunate to spend the last decade with him by my side. I wasn't exactly sure if I had made the right decision when I first chose him. But I couldn't imagine my life without him. He left this world cuddled up on his favorite blanket alongside his favorite shirt and he was surrounded by love until the light faded from him. As he started to drift off I spoke my last words to him...

For 11 years you've been my Ryde or Die

The time has come for us to say goodbye

The day I have been dreading is finally here

The end of a legacy and a legend is near

Thank you for the life you have given me

Thank you for your undying loyalty

Thank you for comforting me when I needed a friend

Thank you for trusting me until the very end.

I'm going to miss you taking up the whole bed

And your cuddles that were top notch

And when I'm napping you kicking me in the head

And stomping me in the crotch

Don't worry about what will happen to me

After you are gone.

You did such a great job taking care of your Dad

and I will continue to go on

But I will always keep you tucked deep inside my heart

until my life is through

You aren't a dog that is easy to forget

And no matter what I will continue to love you

So if you see me crying as I hold you

and looking scared and sad

It's only because I'll miss you so much

and the life together we had

Get some rest, little buddy

And for now I'll say goodbye

But I'm sure I'll see you again in some crazy dream

Or when I get a little too high

Via con dios my little friend.

Na Zdrowie, Fennie!

Do Widzenie.

You were the right dog, for the right person, at the right time.

[the-firebird69]

Did you hear them shortly and 5,000 horsepower it should be easily able to go about a few thousand miles an hour at least and it should be able to keep up and the style and design at those fees it should be able to handle enough to stay in a straight line so we're off to the desert hot flats salt flats sorry is it salt flats and we thought Vegas but he's thinking the salt last but his rethinking it back to Vegas which are the hot flats and I was right and you didn't know to call the hot plants it's a lot of things he's not aware of because he's deceptive to you you always fall for it and he goes around making fun of you because you correct his words but his concepts are way better and they are they make fun of you too cuz you missed the concept for your stupid word hot versus salt and now corky hasn't missed it but he's got it wrong salt is not you in this case but okay. No you don't you don't have my permission it's a man and a woman they deserve their car but I want you to try and copy one cuz I'm tired of hearing from you that you're the balls if you can't copy one of those including the engine then you're fired. Okay well you have to try and will and Bill want to so finally the engine to be curious but he said was to have a pressure release valve on the intake because your motor will blow if they don't have control over the pressure and it's so much pressure and doesn't look like the regular well enough that they probably should do that and they did and they don't blow the motor anymore. Billy I'm like you guys want to work with you you have a class act you came up with the whole car and it's very high-tech and a new motor which is very impressive to them and after your secrets but they want to know what you'd want to work on with them and secrets and stuff okay yeah you're going to say about transformers so the laughing so who's going to come down here the devil color or the Devil himself is an out so if you unless he's out by the time we have the race it would be I think Mephastopheles and it's the first son of the Devil and Lilith off planet.

We accept the race they say of course and we want to see who this fella is or what he is or what he looks like and we see a picture of him and it's been circulated around and he has been seen and he is evil as hell you've seen him crush people as a skinny guy without any trouble but he's not there to crush us he says and he's under my directive if you don't try and harm them and capturing then you'll be fine is there for the race just as we are out there in Las Vegas even though it's not a true gentleman's area it is an area where the race is valid and as a race and then we will vacate the process we appreciate that it's the word and we won't do anything and you guys home and it usually works out even with that massive massive idiotic race with the Hard knock kicker people which was crazy as hell but they are a group and they're not aggressive to each other and it was fun to watch it was amazing to watch amazing so we should probably do that afterwards to cover our tracks have a Harley versus Hard knock race all classes you can pick the day you said Saturday and we agree I'll give you time to prep and test and blow a few stacks laugh yeah Billium and they're going to find you and they want to help out if they can they accept and we will be there. Mac wants to fund you and they accept and what Las Vegas and you guys to get together and come up with a name for the type of race because it is a momentous race there's hasn't been one like this for quite a while it was with the fly cars I think yes no they say with long cars and other odd cars that couldn't do it so it's kind of a romantic because it's in the right format it's the right type of motor and it's right type of car for the race and we are in that LeMans class race these days and your car would make it into it with just a few races like this and this will probably get it in with no questions asked and ours as well cuz this is a new car that he's wanted to race and it's a challenge and if we could of course get Jesus there to sing where the champions and you can say it's you and we'll see it's us but it is my brother and he says no not him then he says what about Brian Gerard he's always considered himself to be a brother and he says we think so but we'll strive to get JC out for it and Max says we will and he's getting loose now like a loose tooth and he shows hasn't show an image and it's gross he laughs he's still a young man be nice if I have something to go down there with like a city I can fly out rent a fitty. But I don't know if I'd stay in Vegas because there's so many gangland shootings but really I added all of the month throughout the whole entire soprano series and watch it all at once it was a bit much we agree for crying out loud.

We accept and we're hoping this guy has a place because I'd like to see you with a house goes because this is intense they're losing the Midwest and it's too an Angel and it's one of him and he's the guy that we've been struggling against and we thought it was Ken we thought it was his dad George or Tommy F maybe no. Tommy F says no and tell me that you have a casino that you can easily put me up in and I can rent a fitty there. Who are you there renting a fitty why the hell are you a jailer. No it's just that we should move you around it causes problems for us not really fix things in the past but okay we will sit here and take it like a man okay Tommy you've had enough so they know you taught me off Tommy f... And yes I raise Mr Chris and I'm pretty good at so I'm going to have to try and figure out how their motor is made and the car too because it's intense and you say that all they did was make it an actual high performance car that you have motorcycle that are in ships and so forth that's true so I'm going to go ahead and work on one and it's not open class it's going to be gas and certain type of gas motor per the requirements of LeMans and really to me now the man sounds like some sort of lounge chair and laid back and slow compared to maybe Indy which sounds like Indiana Jones it's true too LeMans is about the same speed that sounds weird I seen your cars they go flying off the road to go so fast and I don't stay down very well but if they did they might crush the stuff so we're going to make hours out of titanium and they're going to too they say and it's all it's going to be a huge race and we're wondering if other people in virus can make it down there and maybe make it into an event Salazar has a car and says he has a new one now and has Goddess Wife has one too that's new. All of us are going to be there now and I think you're going to have company devel... I appreciate it and I'm getting respect too and I'm getting funding which I need doesn't support really they have facilities they support me with them and their test facilities and they're also supply and repair and storage and protection all that is important you're trying to do something like this and they're going to have their own cars too but they're really interested in the motor and I see how it is I should patent it and sell it is what he says and I might go ahead and do that and hold the patent as well because they're going to find out a scanning and so forth so I think I might do that and also make some conditions because they'll make it for resale this is smart guy and it'll probably work maybe 50% or better or who knows what a percentage is better than nothing and being mad and turning into Infinity the Chuck beef head person that everybody thinks of doing all the time it's a great idea and I can also try and sell the car on the open market and I have offers already and he says it's really easy you can sell the car for enough to build several factories already a lot of people want to have and you can build a fly conversion it's nothing illegal about it because you can copy us and he says well that's great so he's going to have to do that and Sebastian still has his plants

Thor Freya

You said most of it but he got a little tired

Hera Zues

Olympus