#but 'my old man' actually means your husband or your lover | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fatuismooches · 17 days ago

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Dottore and his segments get a taste of their own medicine after giving you a job of your own. (In other words, you ignore their need for attention in favor of your work, they get pouty, just like you did.)

As of late, a peculiar sight had made its way into the lab. Actually, peculiar wasn't even strong enough of a word for the agents to use. They had nearly tripped over their feet once they saw the new area of their working quarters in the lab.

In addition to their Lord Harbinger's desk (that was shared amongst the segments depending on the day), there was now another desk on the opposite side of the room, and the cute decorations on it were quite noticeable. Photo frames and stationery. A comfortable and plush chair with a blanket that dropped over it.

... A plushie version of the Harbinger that laid on Dottore's desk, commissioned by you to motivate him.

(A side thought - the number of desks the Doctor had was something to wonder about. One in the lab, one in the office, one in the bedroom - no wonder things were always scattered around the place. But that was something for another day...)

And most importantly, you, Dottore's spouse, standing next to their Lord, rocking back on your heels nervously as he introduced you as their new co-worker.

—

It all began when you approached your husband with a very simple request.

"Dottie, I want a job!" You said with enthusiasm, smile as wide and proud as ever. The scientist paused his work and turned to look at you with a blank expression.

"... A job, you say?" You only puffed your chest out more at his confirmation.

"Yes, a job. I mean, being your lover is already a lot of work for my poor back, but I want to actually work with you! With your research and stuff, like the old days!" Your excitement was completely serious and were it not for your health, it would have been infectious for the scholar. Rarely did he ever meet anyone who was truly interested in his work. But of course, certain restrictions have held you back for a long time now.

"We've already been over this. My work is too dangerous for you," the Doctor sighed as he turned back around to continue whatever he was doing.

"I know, I know, but I meant other kinds of stuff. I've been thinking like... a desk job! It doesn't have to be anything dangerous! I could... sort papers for you? Oh, and you have one of those fancy stamps, right? I could stamp them too! I could rewrite your notes... ah, and the best part - I could help you write reports too! You always liked my essays, didn't you?" You were doing your best to provide Dottore with a convincing case, snuggling up against his firm back. Only another sigh escaped your husband, not really that convinced.

"Come on..." you inhaled his familiar scent, tinged with that laboratory smell that never seemed to go away, but somehow brought comfort to you. "I've been so bored lately... and lonely," you muttered the last part pointedly. "I just want some work to take my mind off things!"

Indeed, there was always limited entertainment and pastimes to occupy yourself with. It was especially boring on days you couldn't get out of bed, or when no segment could afford you attention...

"And you know what, I could give those agents of yours some writing tips, too!"

Yes, there had been many times his employees were not up to his standards, despite how many of them fawned over him (for some odd reason)...

"And I'll be helping you too! It's good for everyone."

Of course, you always felt rather good about yourself if you managed to help him, being the Second Harbinger and all...

"I suppose I shall give it some thought-" Before the man could finish his sentence you started squeezing him tightly while hopping in delight.

"Oh, thank you! So, when do I start? Do I get one of your huge desks too?"

"I didn't say yes yet, darling."

"Shh... we both know what you mean!"

—

And that was how you now clocked in at "work" every day with the agents (later than normal, but you had special privileges.) It was daunting at first for the poor souls, even the ones who secretly admired you from afar (being in the fan club and all.) Even though initially you were merely sorting papers, you were the most important person in that room.

However, soon enough, going to work in this dreary lab became a lot more cheery thanks to your sweet demeanor. Somehow, the atmosphere had become a lot less tense since the last time the segments visited.

The agents had little to no problem speaking to you like a normal person, after you had graciously given them tips on impressing the Harbinger.

"Psst..." you were hovering behind an unsuspecting agent, reading the report she had for Dottore, who jumped at your whisper. "You know, he might click his tongue if you give him that." Although her mask covered her face, you could see that half surprised at how you popped out of nowhere, and half agreeing with your words. Perhaps she felt comfortable enough to spill the situation to you.

"I-I am well aware of that," she deeply sighed, "but no matter what I write, my Lord always seems to be unsatisfied..." You patted her shoulder in sympathy. Having worked with Dottore since the Akademiya days, you knew very well of his distaste for certain things.

"Well, that's why I was hired, friend! To make his and your life easier! See, look here, that's a no-no, he wouldn't appreciate those details, mhm, but this needs to be elaborated on more, uh huh..." Of course, being the good spouse and employee you were, the report was converted into the best one that had ever landed on the Doctor's desk.

On your lunch break, they provided you with some juicy gossip about anything they could get their hands on (the fan club had long reaches, apparently.) Frequently you had to debunk things about Dottore... (the handbook was swiftly revised.)

Needless to say, things seemed to be going well. You looked happier. Motivated. Having new "friends" as your company (that still watched their mouth around you after a single glance from the segments.)

However... an issue arose after a while. One that seemed entirely stupid and impossible.

Now that you were so caught up in your work, when the segments finally had some spare time to come to you, they were... rejected. Yes, they had come to you, fully expecting your devoted attention and kisses that you always gave them without hesitation, but now turned away. (Even more embarrassing, sometimes in front of the agents who kept their eyes glued to their strange chemicals.)

—

It was Omega, of all segments, who was turned away first. The most confident and charming of the bunch left uncharacteristically silent. He had come up behind you and traced his hands against your neck, always being the one who had no shame in touching you. You only softly giggled at the sensation and caught his hand in yours.

"It seems you've been busy for a while, dear." In truth, it was mostly you seeking him out and not vice versa, but the segment hadn't seen you invading his office in a while. The space had gotten too quiet without you.

"Mhm! But I can't imagine how much work you do. My desk is nowhere as cluttered as yours," you smiled as you felt the segment kiss your lashes.

"What do you say to a break with me?" Omega offered, already knowing what your eager response would be.

"Nah, I can't right now."

...

Your words took a few seconds to process through his head.

"Pardon?"

"I have all this work, 'Mega, and other people need my help," you shrugged your shoulders as you swung your legs. "But don't worry. I'm sure we can spend some time later!" You kissed him on the cheek and pulled your chair in before continuing your work.

Omega, the greatest segment, was reduced to a blankly staring man who had been deprived of his lover's attention for the first time.

He was irritable for the rest of the day.

—

Beta was next, the poor thing.

You were always the one he blew off steam to, always willing to listen about his gripes and complaints, offering him consolation in the form of kisses and soft words.

However, you hadn't come to visit in so long, the segment was all pent up and now the agents were beginning to fall victim to him.

Fine then - he'd seek you out. Not because he needed you or missed you or anything of the sort. You were just... halting his progress with the lack of your presence. Yes, that was it.

And so the scientist, donning his grand pink bow tie, swung by your desk.

"So this is where you've been? How boring." Beta was not a segment that you'd want to do paperwork. He much preferred to be hands-on.

"Ah, Beta!" You brightened in delight at seeing one of your lovers. "I missed you!" At least you were always honest about your feelings.

... But to cut a long story short, Beta faced the same conundrum that Omega did.

Someone got turned into a floating Ruin Machine that day.

—

By now all the segments had experienced being turned away from work. Alpha's signature scowl had become permanent. Zandy was pouting the whole day as he missed his parent. Foxttore kept to himself with a pathetic sopping wet eye. His segments were fighting with each other inside his mind, a great nuisance.

All because you were too absorbed with your work to pay them any attention.

... The Doctor was now realizing that it sounded like a very familiar tune sung by you. So this was what you felt for days on end? Now, it was easier for him to understand why you were always upset if you were ignored too much.

Still, it was mortifyingly embarrassing that his segments were reduced to this pitiful state just because you rejected cuddles a few times. Regardless, it was up to him to solve the issue. After all... he missed you too. He wanted you to be around him more often again.

And so the Doctor made his way to his beloved.

There you were, all cozy on your seat as you sorted through some papers. Really, he had no clue you'd be this productive, to be honest. At least it was proof that your health hadn't gotten worse, considering how well you were handling this.

"Aren't you the one who kept saying to take breaks?" His voice made you jump a bit, having not heard him walk up.

"It's you, Dottie! I was wondering when you'd come around. And of course, I take breaks, Dottore. I have lunch with the other agents!" Ah, another party that's been hogging your attention.

"You know, this job has been pretty fun, Dottore! Everyone's real nice, we make jokes, I get to write about interesting things..." You continued to go on about the research and while usually he'd be intrigued by your findings, this time he had enough.

Dottore picked you up like a long cat as you squealed from the sudden grasping.

"What are you doing?!"

"You're coming with me," was his cut and dry response as he lifted you into his arms.

"B-But I have to work on the big report for Pantalone!" Dottore's eye twitched at the mention of the banker.

"Someone else can."

"But I-"

"I'm not listening to anything you say further," he plainly said as he walked with you cuddled into his chest as you gawked at him.

Could he be... jealous? A wee bit lonely? You kept your guesses to yourself as he eventually bought you back to his room and laid you on his bed, not even saying anything to you before sitting at his desk.

Did he simply miss your presence that much? You felt a bit bad neglecting your lovers that much. But to be fair, they kinda did the same... sometimes. You got up to console your silly husband, who was just a man in your hands.

"Hey... I missed you too, dear husband... but I had to make sure no one stole the title of best assistant from me!" Dottore only sighed at your foolishness.

Of course no one could ever replace you.

"I know you'd rather die than admit it... but don't worry. You're lucky I'm sensitive to your feelings," you teased as you kissed the top of his mask. "I'll pay more attention to you and the segments, before they cause another headache for you, love. You'll give me some vacation time off, right?"

You laughed at your own joke before Dottore pulled you into his lap, biting down hard on your neck.

—

"Beloved, would you care to join me in discussing your work?"

"You fool, they're obviously coming to my lab to activate a new Ruin Machine."

"But [Name] is supposed to play with me today!!"

"As if, they're far too busy to join you all with your silly games."

"You all will stress them out with this arguing. Now, why don't you join me for a cup of coffee instead?"

"Grr, gr gr, grr!"

It was good to be loved so deeply.

#smooches talks #dottore love notes <3 #fragile reader <3 #dottore x reader #just lots of fluff I whipped up as a mini apology for being inactive. >.<#idk if this seems random but i love this scenario #reader simultaneously feeling like they're helping zandik while also keeping their mind off sad things <33 #dottore happy seeing u happy but then gets jealous bc now ur glued to UR desk... unfair. tch... (he's a hypocrite)#divider by cafekitsune

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soobnny · 5 months ago

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dating him | lee know

❝ come over, the cats miss you ❞

if he wasn’t a menace before (impossible btw), he sure as hell is now

this man is relentless

teasing as his love language

just loves riling you up bc he thinks ur reactions are so cute

and he smirks a lot too

if he wasn’t so damn attractive, u would’ve wiped that smirk off his face !!!!!

“wait min, i got a text”

“nice to know you have friends”

u hate him 😭😭😭😭😭

he’s such a little shit that he’s even rilling u up during ur dates

laser tag games where he kisses you to distract you before taking you out

HE’S SO MEAN

he’d push you against the wall with a sly smirk and you think you won’t fall for it again, but you do

every single time

u should’ve known better

this is lee “resident cheater in all possible games” minho

anyways

he is also an ass lover ❤️❤️❤️

i’m sorry but u cannot go into a relationship with him without expecting him to always have his hand on ur ass in some way

so in short

the trope is giving u thought he was out of ur league but he’s actually a weirdo

so now u’re dating the Weird Kid

(u wouldn’t want it any other way)

his other love language is acts of service

i said in my chan one that minho also gives Chief Hong from hometown cha3

like tell me i’m wrong

man wife #2

he is ur personal handyman

he’s just good at everything

will most probably only do it for u tho

seungmin: hyung can u fix my sink

minho: no

seungmin catching strays 😂😂

you: babe—

minho: what do you need me to do now

he says it in fake annoyance too

but he’s got his tools in his hand already ready to do whatever u want

obsessed i tell u

he drives u around too

if you have an event, a party, a project, anywhere you need to be

he’ll drive u there

he always makes time

AND he picks you up too like shut up

it could be a party that finishes at 2am and he’s just waiting for your call to pick you up

sometimes, you tell him he can just sleep early bc your friend will give you a ride home

when you get home, look … he’s still awake

he’s been waiting for you to come home this whole time to make sure you’re safe

BUT he doesn’t say anything

the moment he sees you’re alive and breathing (and doesn’t need taking care of), he’s on his way to the bedroom to sleep

when u look around, he’s done the chores already

he just does things to lessen the load that u might have u know

if u’re so stressed with anything, he’d silently clean up ur room or bring u food

so u don’t have to think about that anymore

also the best chef in town btw

he likes cooking together

and by cooking together i mean like he does all the work and u just stay there and keep him company

he can’t risk ur clumsy ass injuring urself

comforts u thru his cooking too

would baby u and feed u when u’re sad

his favorite dates with u are quiet, homemade dinners

just likes being with u and u only

away from everyone else

as niki would say, i don’t like anyone except sometimes you

it’s in moments like those that he just unwinds and shows u his softer sides

he’s honestly just so gentle and soft

he looks at u with stars in his eyes

ugh such an attentive listener too

sometimes u think he isn’t listening, but he’s got it all memorized

“yeah u mentioned it on our date 3 months ago”

like damn

anyways, moving on

his pet names for u give olden times

honey, darling, jagi

but also loser, idiot, stupid girl (endearingly)

so u two are giving me old married couple

u’d both wake up early and have coffee or tea together and just talk abt anything

also this is far into the future but like

sneak peek at minho as ur husband

i think u two would be the type to have a garden

like gardening would be ur little hobby

he grows fruits and vegetables

u beg to grow flowers

OK BACK TO BOYFRIEND MINHO

randomly sending selfies thru the day

THOSE selfies

u know what i’m talking abt

forces u to send selfies back

(ur photos are all saved and hidden in his phone but he will never tell u that)

oh u’ve also become his cats’ mom btw

one of ur favorite errands to do is going grocery shopping for his cats

u’d always end up buying them a gift

“u’re the reason my cats are spoiled”

SUUUUUUURE minho suuuuuuure

cat fashion shows

like dress to IMPRESS

(btw idk why but i feel like u could force him to play roblox with u)

he also uses his cats to lure u to visit him btw

“soonie misses u, u’re being a bad mother”

it’s just him who misses u let’s be real

and if ur favorite thing to do with him is cat shopping, his is walking by the han river with you

he loves walking

esp when it’s with you

just a peaceful walk tbh like yall don’t even have to say anything

tho sometimes when he’s feeling playful, he’d suddenly play tag with you

ends with both of u just sitting by the river and looking at the lights and the stars and holding hands or maybe ur head on his shoulder

damn wish that were me fr

when u go home, u watch some variant of a trashy reality tv show together

u’ve basically seen it all

but if anyone were to ask u what happened in those shows, yall wouldn’t know

u two were too busy just making out instead of paying attention

or falling asleep

old married couple i’m telling u

expect to also be dragged into his camping

when he has particularly long days off, he’d propose going camping together

ah, the beauty of warm bonfires and quiet conversations

he’d take good care of you the whole time

like yessss do your job as a man and fix up this entire camping site

and he does

tho, aside from camping, he’d also suggest hiking to take in the view of the mountains and the pretty sky

u’d wake up early on both occasions just to watch the sun rise

in contrast to these very productive activities, sometimes minho also just loves lazy sundays where you just cuddle for the entirety of the day

what more could he want

u and his cats with him

that’s honestly just the dream

good luck cat mom

have fun acting like an old married couple with lee know

he is the dream man

nonchalant to anyone else except u

note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 7 months ago

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To continue riffing on the marriage/tradition stuff because that’s one of the themes I’m obsessed with in her discography, it’s fascinating because it would be easy to reduce it to, “she’s adhering to patriarchal societal norms in chasing the traditional nuclear family and that’s why she throws herself into these relationships,” but it’s just so reductive to well, how human beings exist in the world. Just because it’s a societal pressure doesn’t mean some people don’t genuinely want to get married or have families.

Yes, she’s been singing about it right back to her first album when she as 16. Yes, her view on it has evolved, from marrying the sweet neighbor boy to the princess fairytale early on (debut/fearless), to the disillusionment that increasingly pushed it out of the narrative (speak now/red/1989), to slowly letting herself believe in forever again (rep), to seemingly actually committed (lover), to questioning what that means (folklore/evermore) to trying to reconcile what it means for her current life (midnights). Every relationship she experienced throughout those periods informed those views and how *she* pursued it.

I think what makes it so interesting on TTPD is that it is EVERYWHERE, as I mentioned in my previous post about it. And it’s unsettling because it’s not just in the setting we expect it to be — e.g. a long term partner she’d previously indicated she was ready to marry — but also in songs about a man who swooped in to save her when she was low only to break her apart, in thinly-veiled fantasies about strange bedfellow neighbours, another thinly-veiled story about marrying the person you want consequences be damned, in taunting your on again/off again partner in a bar (e.g. i want to smash your bike or be your wife).

And it’d be easy to chalk it up to, well she’s in her 30s and the clock is ticking, she’s just obsessive! And there’s a nugget there about women and their bodies and both the lauding and weaponization thereof and everything that personally I’m dying to talk about at some point. But when it comes down to it, I’m willing to bet that the reason why it’s everywhere is because THAT WAS HER LIFE. That was the plan she’d taken for granted for so long — and I don’t just mean in a general sense as a girl in the world — but in the very real, very tangible way she was living her life and in the circumstances that led to what would be written about in TTPD. By working out all these scenarios through her songs (and tbh in whatever she was doing IRL that inspired them), she was grappling with and grieving the loss of the life she thought was ahead of her. We’ve talked about how pervasive grief has been on her recent albums, in all kinds of forms, and I think this is kind of the culmination of all of those worries.

She’s not the girl with the paper ring and all’s well did not end well to end up with him. She’s not the girl who has his midnights after cleaning up bottles on New Year’s Day. She couldn’t give him her wild or a child because it wasn’t enough. She may have even been the self-fulfilling prophecy of the girl who is fucked in the head, but feels more like the one left out on the landing.

So in TTPD, she is all of these things. She’s the neglected wife whose husband cheats on her so she runs off with an old flame. She’s the one who gets the jewel on her ring finger and talks about babies because he says it’s love. She’s the woman whose partner once made a promise but never followed through. She’s the hell-raiser who follows love in a different kind of getaway car while the town calls her mad, consequences be damned, but joke’s on them because she gets the wedding in the end anyway. She’s the wife who feeds her cheating husband to the swamps of Florida. She gets swept off her feet by an old flame to run down the aisle. SHE’S the one who gets to decide if she’s gonna marry him or decimate him (be his wife or smash his bike). She’s the girl who didn’t become the wife while she watches the one that got away marry his. She’s the woman scorned who has to call the whole thing off. She’s the saucy girl who bets her new lover is gonna marry her for real. She’s sold off as chattel to the highest bidder in an arranged marriage. She’s the young girl starry-eyed with the dreams she grew up with only to have them go up in flames, leaving only her pen behind to turn it into art.

She navigates all these scenarios because in the end, she isn’t any of them and she is all of them. She’s mourning what she gave up, mourning what she’s already lost, mourning the time she feels she wasted and could have started over. She’s mourning any number of women she could have been if she’d just tried something else, but also mourning that ultimately much of this was out of her hands. She’s grappling with a past that can’t change and a future that doesn’t exist. Every one of these scenarios is a way her life could have gone with any number of different decisions, but in the end, none of that matters, because she is who she is and what happened happened.

Obviously there’s a lot more going on in the album; she’s not just processing the end of relationships, she’s processing her fame and career and health and harassment and trauma and struggles and misogyny and any number of things in frankly shocking ways. But, I think there’s also no denying that this very important thing — the step many young adults expect to take in their lives — precipitated a whole lot of what went on, and may have even had a domino effect on all the other issues explored. It’s raw and vulnerable and ugly and funny and human.

Anyway apparently I’m back and thinking.

#maybe i should not sleep more often #the tortured poets department #writing letters addressed to the fire

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ughgoaway · 10 months ago

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my favourite fics and writers

hi, y'all!! so I've decided that this year, I want to be more appreciative of all the amazing content we have on this app, and thank the writers providing it. this was inspired by Lily (lastnightwaskindofablur) who shared how long it took her to write her series, and it made me realise how much time and love are poured into these fics.

so this list is basically everyone im following, and my favourite piece of writing from them! I don't think I've forgotten anyone, but if I have IM SO SORRY!! if I am following you- I'm obsessed with you.

anyway, so sorry for tagging 1000 people but I love and appreciate you all so much!!

(so much rambling below the cut)

@64yrsold; “aches” is amazing and “wintering” is heartbreaking in the best way. Also, all of their one-shots are just amazing, I could read them over and over again!!

@yourtouchismidas; “ruins” was one of the first fics that had me checking AO3 every day for updates. truly heartbreaking and all-encompassing. and all the blurbs from it are also amazing. The dad! Matty content mixed with the angst is just so well done.

@abiiors; is not only one of the nicest people on this app (and maybe the world) but also one of the most talented writers. so so many amazing fics that honestly, don't even get me started on bc I will talk for HOURS. but “haunt//bed” is one fic I can't stop coming back to. And “Three’s a Party” is… mind-numbingly good, it actually made me scream into a pillow when I read it for the first time. Vee also creates all the amazing 75 Tumblr activities so really she is to thank for SO MUCH content on here!! one of the kindest people I know, and I feel so lucky to call her my friend :)))

@shinycollarboneapologist; was the blog where I started rambling and sharing ideas, so she is to thank for all the friends I've made on here!!! The Taylor verse is PHENOMENAL and “illicit affairs” is a fav. but “clandestine” has invaded my brain so much I literally dream about it regularly... so I have to say that's my no.1

@imagine-that-100; I first discovered her series "Drunk” on ao3 and then promptly binged everything on her masterlist (multiple times...) “Chicken Shop Date” is just a masterpiece (she and her co-writer are AMAZING on this and I will ramble about her later), but my personal fav is “truth serum”. I have probably read that fic about 50 times over and I love it just as much every time!!!

@heyidkyay; I first read “Who Can Say No to Bridezilla?” and became obsessed on ao3. but then I found them on Tumblr and was completely sucked into "I guess I'll take this pain, instead of your name" which is quite possibly the best George series on here. so much character building and back story, and overall just a phenomenal fic.

@justlikemebutsixfootthree; has some of the best smut on this app,” The Birthday Party” is probably my most re-read because it is just an absolute masterpiece. but “insane” and “direction” are also both amazing.

@imightgetbetter; was one of the first blogs I discovered on here, and I fell in love with the whole “Love It If We Made It” series. such an amazing development of a relationship and their writing is AMAZING. but my absolute favourites have to be “Bets are off” and “I love dilfs.”

@butyou-callmewhenyourebored; has such good Ross content all around, truly providing for the Ross girlies!!! but the Leeds au blurb 1 is my fav from them!

@drivelikeiido; has some beautiful fluff, and I just love the way they write Matty. but (not so) important decisions just make my heart warm like nothing else!!!

@toomuchracket; my beloved mads!! the fun wine aunt of 1975 Tumblr. I mean I could talk for 17 pages about my love for all of her au's... birthday party is the perfect supportive husband, d-word is the best slutty old man content on this app lol and flatmate is the friends-to-lovers content we all yearn for. asking me to choose my favourite Mads fic is like choosing a favourite child, but right now it has to be totally wrecked. I think that has altered my brain chemistry in an indescribable way… (edit; since writing this she has put out possibly my no.1 fic of all time, “and this is how it starts” so I just had to mention how much I fucking adore it)

@lottiecrabie; I mean... what else is there to even say about Lottie other than she is one of the best writers I have ever read. truly the mother of 1975 Tumblr. “rockstar girlfriend” and “pray for my soul” both have such special places in my heart, but anatomy au locked a new section in my brain fr. that little loser lives in my head rent free!!!

@tillthelandslide; is so so kind and has some amazing series I would recommend to EVERYONE. “insufferable asshole” is one of my absolute favourites, I love a grovelling man what can I say!!! but “Same for You” has me flipping sides every chapter, I still can't choose if I'm team Ross or team Matty.

@lastnightwaskindofablur; what more can I sat about the whole ATPOAIM universe other than it is quite literally phenomenal. the amount of time and effort poured into the Brittany Jackson universe is so clear by how amazing each fic and blurb is. my absolute favourite thought is "Christmas isn't cancelled (just you.)" from the 12 days of Christmas. it is easily one of my favourite fics I've read!!! She is also the whole inspiration behind this list and made me realise how important thanking your favourite writers really is.

@cowboylor; ohmyLORD the smut on this blog is just... wowowoowowowow. actually made me nervous to attempt smut because of how good theirs is. "Cabin Fever" is probably my favourite, I love a good threesome fic.

@alovesreading; the other half of the JAW DROPPING series that is “Chicken Shop Date”. the hours that have been put into that fic are so clear in how well thought out it is. every word feels purposefully placed, and every chapter fucking HITS. A also writes amazing fics for Alex Turner and is slowly making me an Alex girlie just by how good her writing is...

@bookish-strawberry; such such good fics in the "You and Me Till the End Universe". Ambrose has just created such loveable characters and you can't help but adore his writing. “alleyway” pt 1 and 2 are my favourites, I do love some fwb content.

@hypersonic04; her teacher Ross universe is just great, every blurb and fic just radiates the love between the characters that she has created!! but my absolute favourite fic of hers has to be "Tis the damn season", it somehow made me love one of my favourite songs even more.

@cryley; her “Petichor” series is just fluffy perfection, I have probably read it over 10 times and will 1000% be reading it at least 10 more...

@cows-wearing-my-sweater; has some amazing one-shots, and his work on “Eternal Summer” is absolutely beautiful. she manages to make you feel the warmth of summer through a screen, and it's fucking beautiful.

@thefrontofmymind; has so many great matty fics/imagines, “Helping Hand” jumps out easily as my favourite though. Once again, friends with benefits is ALWAYS gonna slap. especially when they confess their feelings at the end!!!! ahhh so good. “Proof Positive” is such a good Ross fic, if you like pregnancy fics I would HIGHLY recommend it.

@uramilf; did the 12 days of Christmas last year, and every day was amazing!!! But £The Record Shop” is my favourite series from her, love and music combined are too perfect for me not to adore.

@3terna15unshin3; Marcey's fic "then because she goes" had me refreshing ao3 DAILY. este is such a well-rounded and beautiful character, her and Matty's love makes me so lovesick it's CRAZY. that whole series is my favourite, and my fav blurb from that universe is Toothbrush. Este and Matty are so beloved by me <333

@because-she-goes; has an amazing universe with Matty and an OC that I adore, Nora is such a lovely character and every fic about them makes me giddy. "black lace" and "Summer Girl" are my favourites of their fics though!

@theseventyfive; has such a way with words, every fic makes me giggle and kick my feet. but if you saw my tags on my reblog of "not so secret Santa" you know how deeply I adore that fic. the writing on it is beautiful and makes you feel warm somehow??? amazing.

@wrongendofurcigarette; George girlies it's your time to shine!!!! "sun-soaked" and "wet" swirl in my mind whenever I see a pic of George looking... particularly good. but recently she has created an actress reader au that I am BUZZING for. that little snippet was... wowowowowowowow

@automaticllamacycle; OLIVE!!!!! once again, such a nice and genuine human being and I am so so lucky to chat with her because she is the best hypeman EVER. and is amazing to bounce ideas off of. just such a kind person and I am blessed to scream to her over DM. her coffee shop AU might be my most-read fic ever. it was my daily routine at one point to wake up, go to AO3 and read that fic. when part 2 came out???? I DIEDDDDDDD. but also all of olives horny thoughts are... MUWAH chefs kiss.

@red---moon; "after party" is another fic I read regularly on ao3, sleepy matty after a party with flirting and then smut??? hellooooo yes please. also, “Souvenir” as a series is just amazing, so so so good.

@maxverstappensflatbrim; “show me yours” is such a beautiful universe, and has SO MANY CHAPTERS for you to become obsessed with. I just love every character in that universe, and Mac’s writing is amazing.

@justanamesstuff; “All I Need” is such an amazing series, and I would recommend it to anyone who loves Dad! Matty content!! But all her blubs are worth reading too!!

@procrastinatinglikeapro; is so so sweet and has some absolutely mind-blowing fics. I must have read her entire masterlist 10 times over at this point. Choosing a favourite is hard, but “Does it matter” as a series has me HOOKED. (but also I love “mango lipgloss” and “wear my name around your neck”… don't make me choose okay)

@wrestletotheground; has some absolute BANGERS that everyone MUST read. Once again, the ross-tent on this blog is amazing. “Crime and Punishment” is my fav Matty fic from them, and she absolutely killed it with “Settle Down” for Ross!!

@mybrokenveins3000; college ross SUPREMACY!!! She is right when she says she is proud of “everyday rockstar” because it's easily my fav!!

@steel-elle; beautiful writing with everything she does, but my favourite has to be “But I stay when it's hard, or it's wrong, or we're making mistakes” (is this also because I love the song New Year's Day?? perhaps…)

@kscheibles; “e la vita” is so stunning I don't even know how to verbalise it. That fic has a portion of my heart FOREVER. But college bf! Matty is truly the man we all deserve, and I am obsessed with him.

@think0fmehigh; molly!!! My love!!! What else is there to say about Molly other than she might be my fav filthy smut writer on this app, and thats a tough competition. Every time I get a snippet in DM’s from her, I feel like one of the luckiest human beings alive. Molly does not have a bad fic (despite her protests im sure) but my top two (because I CANT CHOOSE JUST ONE) have to be “Birthday Girl” and “You Get Me So High.” but honestly if you have the time, bless your life by reading every word she's ever written.

@controlmyfeet; DAD MATTY FIC. thats all I even need to say, it is SO SWEET and it makes me so happy!!!!

@bfiaflbox; sooooo much good content, but my favourites are “Wintering” and “Tonight I Wish I Was Your Girl” !!

@nowshesdoingitallthetime; kirke. This is me BEGGING for more bartender matty!!! “Cocktails, Cowboys and back alleys” is MWUAH MWUAH MWUAH. Bartender Matty is a need, I adored every second of that fic.

@wiintring; I NEED more from Christina!!! Her writing is all wonderful, and “Come here dressed in black now” does live in my mind!!!

@grocerystorelist; “body of Christ” is made for the religious trauma girlies and the fleabag girls. PREIST MATTY DRIVES ME CRAZYYYYY. Leila is so talented, it's crazy.

@forcryingoutlloud; wowwowwowwow the smutty content on this blog… its sooooooo good. “Beg for it” and “greedy” did melt my brain in the absolute best way, like I was genuinely SWEATING at how hot it was. As is everything on her masterlist!!

@hrryshoney; gyno! Matty unlocked a whole new side to me that I had NO IDEA was there. Like… insane. And the newest photographer reader fic also drove me CRAZY because I do love a cocky fictional man and some semi-public sex…

@the1975attheirverybest; Halla’s blog is a great place for discussion, good writing and crazy intelligent analysis of the band. “Education” and “being funny in a foreign language” are just… art. Truly. The character of Amelia and the characterisation of Matty are some of my favourites on this app. Hot smut, good writing and a lovely human being- what else do you need hellooo?? (also the pegging blurb from ages ago… yeah I think about her A LOT.)

@sugar-coat-it; FILTY, AMAZING SMUT. literally, every piece on Belle’s masterlist is worth reading 100 times over. Her newest thigh-riding blurb has been rotting my brain, I can't stop going back to it and reading it. Also, the Kylo Ren fic… mask kink unlocked fr. and the matty helping you deepthroat fic is also incredible. (can I just name everything she's done orrr???)

@cinomn; Nina has some great content, and I would genuinely recommend anything!! My favourite has to be “Summer Nights”, but it's a TOUGH competition tbh!!

@noacfslut; THE WRITING SPEED ON THIS BLOG?? MIND BOGGILING. And not only is Elle speedy, but every fic all absolutely wonderful. “Jealousy jealousy” and “undo” are my favourites, but that might change when I get the chance to read her mechanic au, because from what I've heard, it's also extraordinary.

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ghoulfuckersincorporated · 4 months ago

Note

politely humbly asking if is it time for nick valentine headcanons? :)))

It sure is! I absolutely adore Nick, and while I definitely understand the "peepaw" thing people seem to prescribe to him (he does certainly ooze Old Man Vibes), I think the fact that he's also incredibly sexy is sometimes overlooked. Very unfortunate about the whole "cop" thing, but hey, my guy wants for the good of society and he's a menace when I need him to be, so he's husband material to me!

Nick Valentine (FO4) Headcanons

SFW

Physiologically, he gets absolutely nothing from smoking cigarettes, but human Nick Valentine was a 1-2 pack per day smoker back in the day. Granted, only about 20% of those cigarettes are smoked from beginning to end; both then and now, they're moreso the noir version of a fidget toy, something to occupy his hands or fret away at between his teeth as it slowly smoulders away to nothing. Without access to his cigarettes, Nick doesn't necessarily get grouchy, but he does get noticeably more antsy, clearly a little uneasy and unsure what to do with his hands. Still digs into his pockets every five minutes unconsciously.

Doesn't sleep, but keeps a shaky-framed old bed in the agency's office and actually uses it. Sometimes he likes to crawl into it and lie down with his eyes closed for a while, using the quiet time to ponder things, go over evidence, study connections in his mind. He feels a bit embarrassed by it when you ask him if he ever uses the old thing, but the act is nostalgic, even a comfort on an especially bad day.

That old duster he wears means a lot to him, and helping him repair it (or even replace it if something really terrible happens to it) will earn you major points with him. Checking up on him, in general, showing concern for him and his wellbeing will do so. He isn't used to someone caring for him so much, treating him like a regular man from the jump.

Art and art history enjoyer, as well as a good opera recording from time to time. Any time he comes across any kind of art museum or a place that would have once sold or stocked holotapes, he has a look around. Usually he turns up nothing, sometimes he ends up with new holes in him, but every once in a while he sees something, scrounges something up or sees a fairly intact piece of art that reignites feelings in him that he can't quite describe.

NSFW

Nick is a patient, almost overly generous lover. In fact, you'll be hard-pressed to even get him to allow you to touch him in turn early on in your intimate relationship. He's slick about it, using the weaknesses he's discovered against you to keep pushing you to the edge over and over again until you're too exhausted to even coherently think about reciprocating. It's nothing to do with you and everything to do with the daily struggle he fights against his own self image, his own existential thoughts. He also still regularly struggles with mourning Jenny, even though she was never really his to begin with, and he knows that. Unfortunately, that knowledge doesn't stop him from hurting, and it makes it difficult for him to be vulnerable in situations like that.

You can't hide anything from the man; if you have any kinks or interests that you're sitting on for whatever reason, he will sniff them out. Doesn't matter if you find it embarrassing; whatever it is, he'll get it out of you eventually if he notices signs that you like something. It's not like you can stop your face from flushing, your heart from racing, or your panties from dampening.

The seams between the panels that make up his body are very sensitive, and once he feels comfortable enough with you that he'll open up his shirt, it will drive him absolutely crazy if you run your fingers (or tongue) very gently along them.

Practice caution, though; you can easily hurt yourself sticking your hands and fingers and other appendages into certain crevices or panels in his body, and your experimentation can quickly turn painful, ruining the mood. He hates to see you in hurting and it makes him acutely, agonizingly aware of just how inhuman his body really is. Puts quite the damper on his spirits, unfortunately.

He doesn't cum, at least not traditionally, but if you get him (literally) hot and bothered enough he can have a sort of overheating-induced power cycling that's pretty much the closest thing he has. He enjoys it, but he'll only let you get him that far if he's in one of a handful of positions, because he often goes completely lax when it happens, and his body is heavy enough to hurt you if he just falls on you.

Surprisingly dominant in bed. Well, it surprises you at first, once he lets that side of himself show, but it fits in your mind eventually. He likes rules, and he likes enforcing what happens when those rules are broken. Big fan of orgasm denial, but also a big fan of edging you until your mind nearly breaks. I mean, parts of him vibrate, and quite strongly. He will use that against you.

#nick valentine #fallout 4 #fo4 #nick valentine x sole survivor #submission

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atlafan · 4 months ago

Text

The Arrangement - Prologue + Part 1

a/n: hiiiiii posting this here and the rest on patreon! in fact, parts 2 and 3 are already live on patreon 🤭 This is heavily influenced by Ali Hazelwood's Bride, but it's not supernatural or anything like that. But we do have the arranged marriage, enemies to lovers trope which are always so fun. Also, if you couldn't tell, I'm obsessed with Bridgerton, so there's some influence of that in there as well. The yearning and pining is strong in this. warnings: a shit ton of backstory and angst :D TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of suicide and minor character deaths words: 11.3K (that's the prologue + part 1)

Patreon I Patreon Masterlist I Tumblr Masterlist I Ask

Prologue

Margaret

Arranged marriages aren’t uncommon. They’re the norm, actually. Most heads of households make deals with other heads of households and trade their children like cattle. Since I’m a bit more upper class, I never had to worry about being sold to some forty-year-old man in exchange for three of his best cows or pigs.

No, the arrangements in my society are much more about big business, if you can even call it that. We aren’t traded for items, we’re traded for money. Dowries are like nuclei, they’re the powerhouse of our entire economy. It works both ways: a poor man with a title will often try to find a girl with a large dowry. A girl who may not have much of a dowry to offer can still get married, but she needs to marry well. That rules out a lot of men. Then you’re forced to manipulate some foul soul into courting you. It’s rarely a love match.

It’s all business. Not personal.

Dowries make sense in that it ensures that putting a new household together isn’t solely on the husband’s (or his family’s) shoulders. A man of modest means can’t be expected to buy a home, new furniture, or wardrobe all on his own. I certainly would never expect my husband to do all of that on his own.

My husband could, though, if he wanted to.

I have just married a viscount. Below an earl and above a baron, a viscount is a nobleman that holds a lot of power within society. If done right, a viscount can remain quite wealthy. A viscount owns multiple estates that can include fields, pastures, hunting grounds, streams, etcetera. Middle-and lower-class peoples tend to work this land or pay to have access to this land. To put it simply, you’d be a very lucky lady to marry a viscount.

But I don’t feel lucky. I hate to complain because I recognize my privilege. It’s just that I really thought I would be able to choose my own husband. My parents never gave me any indication that I wouldn’t be able to do so. Hell, I’ve turned down three marriage proposals! I suppose it wouldn’t so bad if I actually liked my new husband.

The fact of the matter is, if I had any choice or say in the matter, I never would have chosen to marry Viscount Harry Styles.

“Viscountess?” My lady’s maid, Agnes, peeps into the women’s parlor that I’ve been hiding in. Clearly, I haven’t been hiding well enough. “You and the viscount will need to make your entrance in a moment.”

“Thank you, Agnes. I just need one more second to myself.”

“Of course.” She nods and curtsies before closing the door.

I look in the mirror and sigh. It’s a shame, I look beautiful. I’m not being vain either. I never thought I could look this beautiful. It’s a shame because I would rather be radiating this beauty for a man I love, or, at least, a man I actually like. Some spouses grow to like each other, even love each other if they’re lucky. Many of my friends have married. Some have enjoyed it, and others detest it. Some seem to be good friends with their husbands, but there’s no sexual chemistry. (I’m a married lady, I can say things like that now.)

If the Queen herself wasn’t making an appearance, I would have fled. Oh well, this is my life now.

I take a deep breath and paint a fake smile on my face before leaving the parlor. No tears. No crying. Tonight, when I’m getting ready for bed, after my husband has taken me, then I will give myself the gift of a good cry.

Chapter 1

Twenty Years Prior to the Wedding

Harry

Something very strange is happening today. Mother’s told me that a girl will be joining me in the nursery for my schooling. I asked if it would be just for today, but she told me it was for the foreseeable future. I don’t think I would have minded, but I’ve gotten so used to having the governess to myself since Brother went off to school. This girl is a few years younger than me, so she’ll be learning different lessons than I, but she’ll be in the nursery with me. Playing with my old toys, getting attention from Nanny.

I asked Mother if this girl was coming to live with us, if that was why she’d be in the nursery with me, but Mother said no, that the girl and her parents would be moving into one of our family homes close by. When we’d go to the country estate, we’d all be under the same roof, but in London, we’d be in separate homes. But since Mother and the girl’s mother are dear friends, she joked and said it will be like they’re living with us all the time.

“Master Styles.” One of the valet’s comes into the upstairs drawing room where I had been playing the piano. “Your mother has requested your presence downstairs. The Abernathy Family has arrived.”

“Thank you, Carver.” I get up and follow him downstairs. My mother smiles at me and waves me over, putting her hands on my shoulders as I stand in front of her.

“Harry, you were about two the last time you met the Abernathy’s.” She tells me. “So, let’s have a fresh introduction, shall we? This is Lord and Lady Abernathy, and their daughter Miss Margaret Abernathy. She’s three, only three years younger than you.”

“Hello, it is nice to meet all of you.” I bow my head respectfully. The other adults smile warmly. I look at Margaret who is sucking her thumb and cuddling a blanket to her chest. She has absolutely no idea what is going on. I almost envy her.

“What a polite young man.” Lady Abernathy crouches to my level. “You may call me Aunt Catharine if you like. And Lord Abernathy gives you his permission to call him Uncle John.”

“What do you say, Harry?” My mother squeezes my shoulders.

“Thank you.” I bow my head again and receive a pat to the top of my head.

“He looks so different from his brother. Looks more like you, Edith.” Lord Abernathy, er, Uncle John, says to Mother. They know Brother?

“You think so? What a compliment.” She smiles. “Margaret, would you like Harry to show you to the nursery? He has a lot of toys to show you. Nanny will be here to meet you shortly. She’s a lovely woman, Harry adores her.”

Margaret continues to suck her thumb, but her eyes lock on my face. Her blanket hangs on the crook of her used arm. Her free hand reaches out to me. I’m not sure what to do.

“Margaret isn’t, ehm, as verbal as most toddlers.” Aunt Catherine explains. “She talks, she’s not dumb, but when she’s shy, she goes quiet. She wants you to take her hand so you can lead her upstairs.”

I nod and take Margaret’s hand. I grimace when I feel how wet her palm is. She must have been sucking the thumb on this hand before. Brother used to tell me he begged Mother and Father for a younger sibling. He wanted someone to play with. We are far apart in age, so it clearly took some time. I never felt the way he did. I like being the youngest, so I will not treat Miss Margaret as if she were my little sister. As a cousin, maybe, if she is lucky.

She gasps when we walk into the nursery, immediately running to get on the wooden rocking horse. She giggles as she rocks herself back and forth, then gasps when she sees my old blocks. She trips over her blanket on her way, but she doesn’t cry. Just shakes it off and gets back up to get to the blocks. She looks over at me, smiling.

“Wanna pway?” She asks me, and I raise an eyebrow at her.

“I need to get back to my piano lessons.” I mutter. It wasn’t a lie, I genuinely needed to practice to show my governess I was working hard.

“Nooooo.” She whines. “Pway wiff me, pwease?”

“Why are you talking like that?” I cock my head to the side. “Your teeth are in, pronounce things properly. You sound like a commoner.”

She blinks at me, scrunches her face, then says, “You’re mean”, before stacking the blocks on her own.

I am not happy about this girl one bit.

Fifteen Years Prior to the Wedding

Margaret

Many of the house workers have children my age, so I play with them a lot. If Harry isn’t with our governess, he usually plays with me. I’m dreading for when he goes off to Eton. He has two more years until then, but still, it will go by quickly. He helps with my Latin and has secretly been teaching me arithmetic. “Girls should know these things too”, he tells me. He’s so smart. He could be a great scholar someday.

George, Harry’s older brother, is back from university. He went to Cambridge a boy and has come back a man. At least, that’s what our mothers say when they gossip. Harry and I usually sneak around the drawing room when people are over. We like to listen in. I do find George to be terribly handsome, but I hardly get to see him. He spends most of his time as his father’s apprentice, learning everything that’s needed to one day become the viscount. When I do get to see George, he pays me a ton of attention, and will play games with Harry and I. If I’m lucky, I will get to marry a man like him someday, and if I’m really lucky, I might even get to marry him. Sure, he would have to wait another ten years or so for me to come out, but I think we would make an extraordinary pair.

When balls are held at Styles House, Harry and I sneak around upstairs and watch everyone dance and drink. I always feel a pang in my chest when I see George dancing with multiple young ladies. Sometimes I wonder if he hasn’t married yet because perhaps Father has made a deal with Uncle Michael to have me married off to George for when I’m older. That would be the greatest thing my father could ever do for me.

One morning, while Harry and I are having breakfast in the informal dining room, as we were so often banished to when we were at Styles Estate in the country, I look at him until he looks at me.

“May I help you?” He asks.

“Are you looking forward to Eton?”

“That is two years away.” He sighs.

“I know, but I am curious. I do not get to go off to school like you. I will remain here with our governess.”

“Your parents could send you to finishing school.”

“Your mother wouldn’t allow that. I overheard her saying finishing school was for the middle class.”

“She’s right.”

“But I am not middle class.” I furrow my eyebrows.

“You are, actually.” He tells me as he wipes his mouth with his napkin. “You just don’t know it because it is hidden from you. Why do you think you stay here with us when we come to the country, and not at a separate home? Why do you think you live in one of my family homes in London? Your family doesn’t even pay mine rent. We pay for all of the servants and maids and cooks, and we pay for the governess. You have what you have because your father has no pride. No Lord would ever accept pity like this unless he were desperate.”

“You’re…you’re lying.”

“Why would I lie to you? What would I have to gain from that?”

“You like to be mean to me.” I grumble.

“Margaret, I am forced to spend all day, every day with you. Unless we have callers that have children, I am forced to be with you. All I want to do is read or go help in the gardens, but I cannot because I am meant to watch after you.”

“Nanny watches after me.”

“Be that as it may, I do not wish to constantly be around a child.”

“You’re still a child.”

“Barely.” He scoffs. “You’re still in leading strings.”

“So?”

“So, you’re a child, a baby. I want to be with children, boys, my own age. I cannot wait to go to Eton.”

“You woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. You are not usually this nasty.” I start grinning. “Have you gotten your mences early?”

“Margaret?!” He nearly chokes on his juice. “How…you…where did you learn such a word?”

“Unlike you, I do not have my nose constantly in the air. When you do not feel like playing with me, I play with the other children in the house, the servants’ children. They know all sorts of things. For example, teasing boys when they have an attitude and blaming it on mences is quite fun, because you cannot have mences.”

“Stop saying mences.” He seethes. “And do not repeat that word again. That word is…not for men’s ears.”

“You are not a man. You are a boy.”

“And you are a girl.” He moves from his seat and stands. “I am meant to see my father today. I will return for supper, and afterwards, I will help you with your schoolwork if you need it.”

“Okay.” I smile. “Thank you, Harry.”

“You’re welcome, Margaret. Enjoy the day.” He bows his head before leaving the room.

Harry and I tease each other a lot. It’s all in good fun. I know he likes me. I’m his Margaret and he’s my Harry. George told me that Harry is starting to go through boyhood changes, so his mood can change quite rapidly. He told me not to take it personally, so I do not. I think I will venture out into the yard today, find a large bug, squish it, and press it into one of Harry’s books. Yes, I think George and I will have a wonderful laugh over that.

Ten Years Prior to the Wedding

Harry

Summer is my favorite season. It’s when I get to come home from Eton and spend time with my family. Many of my friend’s families are in the country, which means they can take their carriages to our estate, and we can go shooting. We can do whatever we like. Being sixteen, I am almost seen as a man. I have some authority now. Brother, who is now, twenty-five, is home for a while too. I do not get along with Brother. We are very different people. Luckily, he will be leaving soon to travel India. Why he would ever want to go there, I will never understand, but he’s desperate to go where he can while he can. Apparently, after he eventually marries, he doesn’t see himself traveling much. I suppose it makes sense. He’ll be viscount someday; he will need to remain local.

I’m heading outside when I see Margaret all done up, sitting by the windows in the downstairs drawing room. Out of curiosity, I walk in and sit across from her.

“How come you’re all dressed up?” I ask.

“Mama wants a new portrait painted.” She smiles. “She and Father bought me this new dress to wear for it.”

“When is the painter getting here?”

“I think in two hours, but I was so excited, I wanted to get dressed early. The ruffles are rather in fashion, don’t you think?”

“You certainly look like a young lady.” I smile. “How has the new governess been?”

“She’s dreadful.” She grimaces. “She’s nice, but so boring. I like it better when you teach me things.”

“Are you struggling with any subjects?”

“No, my marks are good.”

“Good.” I nod. “I discovered my new favorite subject at school this year.”

“Oh?”

“Botany. I love plants, Margaret, I simply love them. I am focusing my studies on how to best work land without overworking it. It’s quite fascinating, I must say.”

“It’s good you are enjoying your studies. George tells me all the time about how much he disliked school.”

“He’s a dunderhead.” I mutter, making her gasp.

“Bite your tongue.”

“I will do no such thing.” I see through the windows that a few of my mates are outside. “Ah, I need to be going. I’m going riding with my friends. Have fun sitting for your painting later.” I bow my head before heading outside to greet my mates. “Are we ready?”

We head to the stables and dress our horses before heading out. We talk about what dormitories we will be in next semester. We talk about alcohol. Then, not surprisingly, we talk about women. At first, we were discussing brothels. I have yet to go to one, but I know that it’s inevitable. The one thing I heeded George’s warning on was sewing my wild oats. Even though there is less pressure for me to marry and have children, I know it is still important for me to know what I am doing. I know love matches are rare, but the sex should still be passionate. I do not think I could be one of those men that does not care about his wife’s pleasure.

“When do you think your father will tell you you’ve been promised to Lady Margaret?” Simon teases.

“Oh, please.” I roll my eyes. “She’s a child.”

“Children get promised to people all the time.” Timothy points out.

“Be that as it may, I am not going to think about even hypothetically marrying her. She’s only ten and three.”

“I don’t know, Harry, we saw you speaking with her before.” Simon grins. “You seemed awfully happy to be home.”

“She’s a child.” I repeat. “And trust me, I’m not the Styles boy she wants to marry. She has a crush on George, she always has.” We bring the horses back to the stables and walk up to the house to go have refreshments. Margaret is now outside playing hopscotch. “Child.” I mutter under my breath.

“Harry, if you do not wish for us to tease you about Margaret anymore, then you need to do something to prove you don’t have a tiny crush on the girl.” Timothy says.

“What are you proposing?”

“Offer to play with her, and then trip her so she falls into the dirt.”

“I can’t do that. That’s a new dress that she needs to wear for a family portrait. Name something else.”

“Sorry.” Timothy shrugs. “Actually…let’s play tag.”

“Timothy, do not go near her.”

It’s too late, he’s already by her side, bowing his head.

“Lady Margaret, would you care for a game of tag?” Timothy asks her.

“Really?” She smiles up at him.

“Sure. We haven’t played with you in ages. It’ll be fun.”

“Okay!”

“Harry’s it!” Simon yells, nudging my shoulder before running off.

“Bastards.” I curse under my breath before running after them. It would be so easy to trip Margaret, to push her down, but I would feel terrible. On the other hand, I don’t want them teasing me about her. I don’t like them saying things about her like she’s out in society already. It’s disrespectful. She’s a child. She’s giggling and running, and I catch up to her. I sigh heavily, then I push her, a little too hard, and she falls into the dirt and grass.

“Ah!” She gasps, having not expected me to push her so roughly. She gets up on her hands and knees before standing all the way up. She looks down at her dress, now covered in grass stains, then looks up at me. Her bottom lip is quivering and her eyes are watering. Damn. “You did that on purpose!”

“Don’t be such a baby, Margaret. It was an accident.”

“No, it wasn’t! You and your friends are always pulling things like this! I told you this dress was new. Mama is going to be so upset with me!” She stamps her foot. “You need to go inside and tell her what you did.”

“I didn’t do anything. You should have known better than to run around outside in a new dress.” Timothy and Simon gather around, both of them smirking. I could kill them. “You need to take responsibility for your actions.”

“But I-“

“Margaret Leigh Abernathy!” Aunt Catherine shrieks and comes storming outside. “Look at your dress!”

“Mama, Harry and his friends-“

“I do not want to hear your excuses, get inside now. The painter is here, and now I have to clean you up. Hopefully he won’t mind waiting with your father.”

“But, Mama-“

“Margaret.”

Margaret glares at me, then goes inside. She doesn’t curtsy, so Aunt Catherine apologies on her behalf before following her daughter. I turn to my friends and cross my arms over my chest.

“Happy now? You’re not tease me about her ever again.”

Eight Years Prior to the Wedding

Margaret

I hate Harry with a burning passion. He has just come home from his first year at Cambridge. I have been dreading it. Since he’s been gone, my family moved into Styles House. The viscount said that he wanted to be able to give the home to George so he could live comfortably out of the house. A very upscale home for his bachelor’s lodgings. I do not mind living in Styles House. I’ve spent most of my life in this house. We have our own wing to ourselves.

I knew there were rumors about my family, but no one would dare scandalize the Styles family. They were far too respected in our society. So, it wasn’t a big deal that Harry and I would be living in the same place. Out in the country in the larger estates, the rules are a bit laxer. But in London…well, people like to blow things out of proportion.

I’m sitting out in the backyard reading, enjoying the breeze under the shade when Harry plops down onto the seat next to me and snatches my bowl of grapes. I sigh heavily but ignore him. I essentially stopped speaking to him after he purposefully ruined my dress. We only speak in mixed company as to not embarrass our families. When he continues to bite into the grapes, obnoxiously loud, I put my book down and look at him.

“What do you want?” I snatch the bowl back from him.

“Is that any way to greet me? I’ve just returned from my first year at Cambridge. You could at least fake it.”

“I imagine you say that to a lot of women.” I smirk.

“You don’t even know what you’re talking about.” He rolls his eyes.

“I know plenty.”

“How?”

“I hear things.” I shrug. “I’m still friendly with the children of the servants. I ask questions and they happily answer.”

“For how much money?”

“They do not ask for money. This may surprise you, but some people enjoy the pleasure of my company.”

“There is nothing pleasurable about being in your company.”

“And yet, you sat down here without an invitation.”

“I’m already bored, I thought bugging you would relieve me from that.” He leans back and crosses his arms behind his head. “None of my friends are home. Many of them are traveling. I wanted to come home for a bit. I might participate during the season, dance with some people.”

“Are you going to marry?”

“No, but George is looking for a wife this season, and I want a front row seat to that trainwreck.”

“What do you mean George is looking for a wife this season?” I sit up a bit, frowning.

“I overheard him telling my parents. He’s of age, he’s had plenty of time to enjoy being a bachelor. He probably wants a wife now so that she can learn everything she’ll need to know about being a viscountess. Also, he needs to select someone who is alright with a family of freeloaders living with us.” He looks at me, probably thinking he just got a good jab in, but I stare off into space. “Come on, Margaret, it’s no fun to bash you if you don’t bash back.”

“George is going to marry this season…” I say more so to myself. “But I’m only fifteen…I’m not out yet…how…how could he do this to me?” I look at Harry now. “I thought he was waiting until I came out.”

“To marry you?” His eyebrows fly up. “I do not want to be cruel, but Margaret, George was never going to marry you. He sees you as a little sister.”

“I thought maybe my father made a deal with yours…”

“Nope.” He shakes his head. “No deals. I would have told you, I know you like George.”

“What do you mean you know? I’ve never said a word to you about my feelings.”

“You’re not exactly subtle. The way you look at him…ever since you were a kid. I mean, it’s painfully obvious.” He swings his legs over to sit on the edge of the lounger, facing me. “Are you terribly heartbroken? I could take you into town for ice cream.”

“You’re mean.” I stand up with a huff and Harry stands.

“I just offered to take you for ice cream.”

“Like a child!”

“You are a child!”

“And you’re mean!” I do something bold and push on his chest. “I am so sick you, I hate you!” I push him again, causing him to take a few steps back.

“Do not push me again.” He says lowly.

“Or what?”

“I’ll really treat you like a child and push your face into the dirt and make you eat worms.”

“I’d like to see you try. I’m not afraid of you.” I push him again. “In fact, I’d love to wallop you.”

“You should go inside. The heat and sun must be affecting you.”

“I’m perfectly fine in this heat.”

“You sure?” He leans forward, getting in my face. “Perhaps you have your mences, then?”

He’s barely finished smirking when I tackle him to the ground. I’ve clearly taken him by surprise, but it doesn’t take him long to fight back. We roll around in the grass, both of us holding our own, but at the end of the day, Harry is a man, and he is much stronger than me, so I end up with my arms pinned down on either side of my head and him hovering over me, straddling me. We’re both breathing heavily, and our eyes are locked.

“Get off of me.” I say through gritted teeth.

“Not until you’ve calmed down.”

“Harry!” I struggle under him and let out a frustrated sigh.

“I’m sorry that I had to be the bearer of bad news, but it was never going to happen with you and George, ever.”

“Stop it!”

“You need to accept it.” He presses harder on my arms. “Margaret, in a few years, you’ll enter society, and you’ll go to balls and you’ll be courted and the eligible men in this city will be beating down the door, desperate to come inside and call on you. You just need to be patient.”

I take in his words and nod. His grip loosens, but he doesn’t get off of me. He lingers, and for whatever reason, I’m not mad about it. I’m feeling sort of strange, actually. Harry and I haven’t wrestled since we were children. And that was fun wrestling, back when we used to get along. Now I’m all too aware that he, a man, is straddling me. And he’s not moving.

I clear my throat and that seems to get him to snap back into reality, remembering where we are. He gets off of me and lays down next to me in the grass, sighing.

“We should do this at night. Laying in the grass, I mean, not the fighting. I could point out the constellations to you. Have you read any of the books on astronomy I sent to you?”

“Yes.”

“What do you think so far?” He turns his head to look at me.

“I think it’s all very fascinating.”

“Good.” He smiles, then faces up at the sky again. “Still hate me?”

“Yes.”

“For telling you about George?”

“For pushing me into the dirt while wearing a new dress and purposefully getting me in trouble with my mother.”

“Perfect.” He grabs my hand and kisses the back of it before standing up. “Just the way I like it. At least that’s a valid reason for hating me. I respect it, actually. I’m off to the tailor. I have to pick up some new suits for the season. See you at dinner?”

“Yes.” I grumble, and off he goes.

I fucking hate him.

Four Years Before the Wedding

Harry

Margaret is coming out today. She will attend her first ball tonight. It’s a long day for a new debutante. She will present herself to the Queen, then come home and prepare for the ball. I’ve been wrestling with all of this. Now that I’ve been a part of multiple seasons, I know about the seedy underbelly.

I’m part of it. I have quite the reputation as a rake, but not the kind that would repulse people. In fact, the mothers can’t wait to flock to me at events to talk up their daughters. I’m a gentleman rake, meaning, the women I bed never leave unsatisfied. Whether I have paid for a French prostitute, or I’ve seduced a middle-class lady, they always leave happy. I’m also quite charming. I can talk myself out of any situation. It pisses my mother off to no end. My father just winks at me.

And George…he still hasn’t married. But I’m not surprised. He’s never going to meet a woman he wants to marry because he doesn’t want a woman. He wants a man. He doesn’t know that I know his little secret. I don’t personally care that he’s a dandy. It’s not something that can be helped, he was born like this. What person would ever choose to be burned at the stake by their society? A masochist, I suppose. But George is no masochist.

So, I’m the Styles son that the women flock to. I don’t mind the attention, I revel in it. But I have a feeling that this season is going to be far different from any other.

I head out to the stables to go for a ride. I don’t care to be around while Margaret gets ready for tonight’s ball. However, when I get to the stables, I hear her voice. I hear her laugh. And I hear another man’s voice. I approach cautiously, the expert eavesdropper that I am.

“And what if you get a marriage proposal tomorrow?” The man says, grinning, and awfully close to Margaret.

“I doubt it will happen that fast.” She smiles up at him, leaning back against the wooden wall. The man places a hand next to her head, slightly caging her in. “Will you be jealous?”

“Terribly.” He twirls his finger into one of her loose curls. “We will have to get more creative with our rendezvous.”

“Perhaps, you should switch chores and start tending to the fires in my bedchamber.”

“You know that’s not allowed.”

“Pretend to be attending to my father’s, then come to me instead.”

“That could work.” He grips her chin and leans in. That’s when I step in and snatch her wrist, pulling her away.

“Harry!” She gasps. “What…what….”

“Be quiet.” I tell her, keeping my grip tight on her. I look at the man, a stableboy who I’ve known for years. “Whatever this is, it is over. If you want to keep your job, which I think you do, you will not speak to Lady Margaret again. And if I hear of anything, I will have you fired and shipped off to mucking shit out of the streets. Have I made myself clear?”

“Yes, sir.” The boy nods, shaking where he stands.

“Good.” I tug Margaret along, and once we have enough distance, I let her go. I place my hands on my hips and tap my foot. “I’m waiting.”

“For what?”

“An explanation.”

“I do not owe you one.”

“You do if you wish for me to keep this a secret.”

“Please, don’t have him fired.”

“I won’t if he heeds my warning.” I take a step closer to her, inspecting her. “Has he compromised you?”

“It’s really unfair. You men get to go off and fuck random women all you want, and get praised for it, but if I do anything, I’m a whore.”

“I’m sorry about the double standard, but I have less to lose. I don’t have to worry about becoming pregnant. Now, answer my question. Has he compromised you?” I get right in her face.

“No.”

“That includes kissing. Has he kissed you?”

“No.”

“It looked like he was about to a moment ago.”

“He was going to kiss my nose. Or my forehead. Or me cheek. It’s all I’ve allowed.”

“Are you telling me the full truth?”

“Yes.” She pushes me away. “I’m not an idiot. I know better than to compromise myself. Everyone in the house thinks he and I are friends. Men and women can be friends, you know.”

“I’m aware of that, but you can’t…you can’t sneak around with a stableboy.”

“You’ve had sex with a ton of the servants!”

“It’s different!”

“How?!”

“Because I am not a beautiful, naïve young lady who has barely been out in society for three hours! I am a man, Margaret.” I place my hands on her shoulders, drawing her nearer. “I know what goes through a man’s head when they see a young lady like you. Stableboy or nobleman, they will do anything to trap someone like you into marriage. Is that what you want? To marry someone because you couldn’t control yourself until your wedding night?”

“Are you going to tell me that you’ve never slept with one of the debutantes?”

“I never have. I’ve slept with widows, I’ve even slept with married women, but I have never slept with an innocent girl that’s trying to find a husband. The risk is too high. I also don’t want to get trapped into marriage. Please, you need to…fucking hell.” I let her go and groan. “I’m going to have to attend every bloody ball this season.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m going to need to chaperone you. Lord knows your mother will be trying to get you to dance with every moron in the place. I love Aunt Catherine, but she’s still a desperate mama.”

“You don’t need to do that.”

“Apparently, I do.”

“You always said you’d never treat me like your little sister…why are you starting to now?”

“Margaret, let me make something very clear: I am not looking out for you because I see you as my baby sister. I have never looked at you and felt brotherly fondness. I am looking out for you because it’s the right thing to do. George can be your big brother, but I certainly will not be.”

“Okay, okay.” She blushes. Wait, what? I’m making her blush? I step back another foot and clear my throat.

“You should go inside. You need to get ready for tonight, and apparently, so do I.”

Margaret

My first ball as a woman of society. I have never been so excited. I’m on my father’s arm, and my mother is on my other side. I’m really happy with the dress I’m wearing. The modiste tailored my bust perfectly. My mother says the bosom is the first thing a man looks at when speaking to a woman. I was put off at first, but she kept explaining. Men want to see a healthy bust and wide hips. I have both. I am perfect for child baring. I didn’t want that to be my only worth, but at the end of the day, all girls are married off, forced to leave the comforts of home, and grow their own family.

When I see some friends, my father lets me go speak with them. We’re all sipping on lemonade, talking about how excited we are about being here. I look around and raise an eyebrow when I see a gaggle of women surrounding someone.

“Who are they flocking to?” I ask the group.

“As someone who was out last year,” Alice says, “it can only be Harry Styles.”

“You can’t be serious.” I respond flatly. “The rumors are true?”

“Truer than true.” Alice nods. “The mamas surround him first, introducing and pointing out their daughters. Once they fan out, the widows and the lonely wives try their luck. I wonder who the lucky lady of the evening will be.”

“God help whoever it is.” I sip my lemonade, then see Mildred’s jaw drop. “Millie, what is it?”

“He…Lord Styles is coming this way.”

“He is?!” Alice chokes on her drink.

I roll my eyes just as he’s approaching us.

“Ladies.” He bows his head. “Having a nice time thus far?”

“Oh, yes, Lord Styles.” Alice smiles, clearly nervous.

“You all look lovely.” He turns to me. “Even you, Miss Abernathy.” His eyes roam up and down my body. “Turquoise suits you.”

“Mhm.” I grunt and finish off my drink. I catch him looking at my dance card that’s dangling on my wrist. He takes it between his fingers.

“Ah.” He takes a pencil out of his jacket pocket and writes his name in the first slot, then draws a line down through the rest.”

“Harry!” I shriek. “Erase that, this instant.”

“No can do.”

“It’s improper for us to dance more than twice. You just filled up all five of my slots!”

“I am aware of what I have done.” He takes one of my hands and brings his mouth to my ear. “I said I’d be keeping an eye on you tonight, and I am a man of my word.” He pulls back and looks at Alice and Mildred. “Ladies.” He bows his head, then tugs me to the dance floor.

“Mean.” I mutter as he begins to lead me.

“Do you remember when our governess would let us practice dancing together? You liked it when I’d let you step up on my feet and dance you around.”

“Yes, I remember. It was one of the few times you and I got along.”

“I’ve always gotten along with you. I’ve just created boundaries over the years.”

“Right because it would have been horrible to treat me like a member of your family.” I scoff.

“It would be. I’ll never look at you or treat you like someone I’m related to.” He twirls me around, then continues our waltz.

“Mean.”

“Don’t you want to know why?”

“Because you think I, and my parents, are freeloaders.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is. You’ve said so several times throughout the years.” I look around. “Where’s your brother? I’d rather dance with him.”

“He’s at the gentleman’s club tonight, having brandy with some mates.”

“You didn’t want to join him?”

“No, I needed to be here.”

“You didn’t need to do anything. Now no one else will be able to dance with me. Everyone is going to think I belong to you.”

“You do.”

“Harry.” I suck my teeth. It’s very undignified, but there’s no need for us to be formal with one another. The rules don’t always necessarily apply to us.

“Margaret, I am the son of a viscount. Do you have any idea how many callers you’ll have tomorrow? Everyone will see us dancing, and then-“

“I didn’t need help.” The music stops and we bow at each other. “Erase your name. If we dance more than two times together, people will think we’re courting.”

“No.”

“Harry.”

“Margaret.”

“Why do you care so much?! Are you out to ruin my life?! I have to take this seriously. This is my future that I’m trying to secure.”

“You’re not getting married this season.”

“Whether it happens or not, I get to decide for myself.” The music picks back up, and he starts leading me again. “I’m going to put a dead fish under your pillow.” I threaten him.

“If you want to come into my bedchamber so badly, you could just ask.”

“Shut up.”

“Why don’t you like me anymore? You used to adore me.”

“You were mean to me one too many times. Now I hate you.”

“This isn’t hate.” He chuckles lowly, shaking his head.

“What is it, then?”

“I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

I huff with frustration at him. I’m silent for the rest of the song, then I excuse myself. I head to the women’s parlor room and stop when I see my mother and Aunt Edith chatting. They both see me and smile, so I approach.

“Having fun, dear?” My mother turns my dance card over and gasps.

“What?” Aunt Edith says. Then a gasp leaves her. “Why did he do this?”

“I don’t know.” I frown. “But I’ve already danced with him twice, and I do not wish to flaunt a third.”

“He’s probably using you to avoid the flock of desperate women.” Aunt Edith rolls her eyes. “Luckily, I have a pencil.” She reaches into her bust and pulls out a pencil, then erases the line Harry drew. “There, you’ve just freed up three more spaces.”

“I think there was a young man your father wanted you to meet.” Mother says. “Come, I’ll lead you to him.”

“I’m going to speak with my son.” Aunt Edith says.

Later on, I see Aunt Edith having a few words with Harry. Serves him right.

I end up dancing with three other, very charming, young men. I’m walking on clouds as I make my way up to my bed chamber later that night. Agnes helps me undress, and then I send her on her way. I wanted to write in my diary for a bit before getting into bed. Just as I’m getting into my nightgown, I hear a knock on my door.

“Mama, is that you?” I open it and see Harry. He puts a finger up to his lips before forcing his way inside and closing the door. He paces around my room. He stops to look at me, then blushes. He looks around and tosses my dressing gown at me. Wait…he was blushing because of me? “What do you want?” I whisper. “We haven’t been allowed in each other’s bedchambers since we were old enough to leave the nursery.”

“I’m aware of the rules.” He continues pacing. “Names. I want names.”

“Of whom?”

“The other men you danced with tonight.”

“Why?”

“Because I will need to speak to them about how to be respectful. Some of these men are vultures. Some of them are much older than you. You’re still a child, Margaret. I will not have a forty-year-old man asking for your hand.”

“I’m nineteen, I’m out, I am no child.”

“You’re naïve and innocent and immature. Now, the names.”

“You’ll find out tomorrow when they come to call on me.”

“Margaret, I am not asking.”

“Harry, I am not telling.” I cross my arms over my chest, he plants his hands on his hips. We’re having a classic standoff. He usually wins. “Ugh, fine. Lord Blythe-“

“A rake.”

“It takes one to know one, I suppose.” I shrug. “Lord Howard.”

“Too old for you.”

“And Lord Fairchild.”

“No money.” He shakes his head. “None of them will do.”

“Harry, I think my father and mother will take care of all of this. I am not your ward. It is not your responsibility to make sure I’m married off.”

“You have to marry someone you like, Margaret. You won’t like any of those men.”

“Alright, what about Simon or Timothy?”

“What about them?”

“They’re your friends, you must trust them.”

“Not with you.”

“Tell me who you would have me marry, then?”

“I’m going to bed.” He shakes his head.

“Oh, so I have to answer your questions, but you won’t answer mine?”

“Exactly.” He smirks. “Even you aren’t a match for my charm.”

“Mean.”

“Too bad.”

“Get out of my room.”

“I already said I was going to bed.” He brushes by me. “I will be dancing with you at every ball you attend. I don’t care what my mother says. Your father is a nincompoop. He won’t make sure you’re cared for. My father is too busy focusing on George and pressuring him to settle down. That leaves me, the only other man in your life, to look after you. I will be chaperoning any callers tomorrow.”

“No, you’ll intimidate them.”

“Good. Whoever you marry will have to deal with me. Best for them to learn that now.” He opens the door and looks back at me. “You looked really…pretty tonight.” Then he leaves.

I hate him.

Three Years Before the Wedding

Harry

There is nothing more cliché than rain at a funeral. I’m just glad we’re in the country, otherwise all of London would have fought tooth and nail to be at this service. I knew this day would come, I just didn’t think it be before my father could be a grandfather.

It was sudden. I wasn’t there, but I was told that he couldn’t breathe all of a sudden. The doctors suspected it was some sort of heart attack.

George is currently giving a eulogy, my mother is sobbing, and I am as frozen as a statue. I feel more angry than sad. I haven’t cried yet. I tried to, but nothing would come. I hear a sniffle beside me and see Margaret dabbing at her eyes. Unexpectedly, I feel a warm hand in mine. It’s hers. I look down in shock. She’s squeezing it and rubbing her thumb along my knuckles. She looks up at me and gives me the most somber smile. That’s when I feel tears streak down my cheeks. I squeeze her hand back, and face forward again.

That’s the thing about Margaret. She can’t always find the words, but somehow, she’s able to say so much without saying anything at all. She’ll never know how much her holding my hand helped me through my father’s death.

Two and a Half Years Before the Wedding

Harry

“Sir, we must start making the necessary arrangements.” Peters, my valet, says to me. “How would you like to proceed?” I look at him, then I look back down at my brother’s lifeless body.

“Do what you think is best, Peters. I have more important things to worry about. I’m the viscount now, and I don’t know a single thing about being a viscount. I have a lot of studying to do, I have ledgers to read, I have deeds to go over. I’ll be very busy. You know how to put a funeral together. Send for the coroner, get him embalmed, and get the carriages ready to bring us to the country. He will be buried in a plot by my father. Oh, and have someone collect all of the contents of George’s study. I’ll need to look over any contracts or anything he may have signed off on.”

“My lord…” Peters places his hand on my shoulder, not something most people would allow, but I allow it. “Your brother is dead.”

“I didn’t know him. He never let me know who he really was. That isn’t my brother. That’s just…that’s just a man named George Edward Styles. And he was nothing more than a coward.”

“Do you not even want to read the note?” Peters holds it up.

“No. Burn it.”

Margaret

It seems like I’ve been wearing nothing but mourning attire these days. I’m devastated over the loss of George. Styles Estate House isn’t the same without him. I haven’t had romantic feelings for him for years, but George and I grew to be wonderful friends. I miss him dearly.

And Harry…Harry has grown cold. He’s as cold as he was when I first met him. I’d never met a more adult child than him. It fascinated me. I forced him to warm up. Now, I’m not sure what I can do. Aunt Edith is catatonic, I do not blame her. My own mother spends her days doing her best to console my aunt. She even moved her bedroom to Edith’s wing of the home. I’m not sure how my father feels about that.

Harry spends a lot of his time in the study. The good student that he is, he has learned how to be a proper viscount in no time flat. I feel bad he can no longer focus on his agriculture studies or his astronomy studies.

Things with him have been weird even since before George died. Right before we left for the country, I had been proposed to. It was rather awkward because I had been courting with multiple men. When the man proposed, he did it in front of my mother and Harry, my usual chaperones. I looked at Harry, and that was all it took.

“No.” He said. “She doesn’t accept. Please leave now before you embarrass yourself further.”

He wasn’t even viscount yet, but he held so much power in that room that the man who proposed scurried away. Even though Harry is my mortal enemy, I took comfort in knowing that he and I can still communicate nonverbally like we did when we were children.

I come down to the study one evening. He did not come to dinner, so I had Cook plate something up for him and I offered to carry it. The country is much laxer, I love it.

“Harry?” I knock on the door and open it. “I thought you might be hungry.”

“I’m not.” He says, not looking up at me, scribbling in a ledger.

“You need to eat.”

He puts his quill down and slowly and looks up at me. His eyes are red, bloodshot. He’s either been drinking or crying…or both. I set the covered plate down on his desk.

“Why did you bring this to me?”

“You weren’t at dinner.”

“Why would you care?”

“Harry, your-“

“I’m not Harry anymore. I’m the viscount. I own all of this.” He stands up and runs a hand through his hair. “Do you know how fucking terrifying this is? This was never supposed to be me. My father never trained me on any of this because he didn’t think he’d need to! And now my brother is gone! He left on purpose! He didn’t care about what he’d be leaving me with.”

“What do you mean he left on purpose? I thought he died in his sleep.”

“He did, after he poisoned himself.”

“Why…why would he do that?” My eyes water.

“It’s not for your ears. You should go get ready for bed.”

“Harry, can I help with anything? I’m good at arithmetic because of you, I could-“

“You can help me by leaving me be. I just want to be alone. I have a lot to do.”

“Okay.” I nod. “When you feel like not being alone, I’m here.”

“You’re a distraction. I don’t need any distractions right now.”

“Sometimes you need a distraction to-“

“Margaret!” He slams his hands down on the desk. “What are you even doing in here alone with me? You shouldn’t be alone with me. Not now, not ever.”

“This is absurd. You’ve come to my bedchamber before.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you! Get out!”

“Mean!”

“You’re damn right I’m mean. Now get the fuck out of here before I show you just how mean I can be.”

I fled after that, tears running down my face. I took a reprieve from hating him. I won’t be doing that ever again.

One Year Before the Wedding

Margaret

It appears as though every time I receive a marriage proposal, someone dies. I turned down another, and then three days later, my father died. He had been rather ill, he caught a flu a few months ago and never recovered. It was so slow and painful.

Being in mourning means that we can’t attend any functions. We can’t even leave the house. I’m a bit worried about what is to happen to our own estate. Even though we have no land, my father was still a lord. That should count for something. Some distant male cousin may come and tell us we need to live with him now. I’m petrified of that happening. My mother doesn’t seem worried about anything, though. If she isn’t worried, then I suppose I won’t be either.

Harry

Lord Abernathy’s funeral was rather well attended. He was buried in London, but since we’ll be in mourning, we have gone out to the country a month or so earlier than we intended. It’s fine by me. I much prefer the solitude of the country.

“Harry?” My mother knocks on my study door, Aunt Catherine is beside her. This conversation was inevitable. “Do you have a moment, there is something we must speak with you about.”

“I know.” I sigh. “Come in, and please close the door.”

“Darling, ehm, years ago, your father, George, and Lord Abernathy wrote up a marriage contract for Margaret.” Mother says.

“I know.” I round my desk and open one of the drawers, pulling out a file. “It was amongst George’s things.”

“You’ve known about this since your brother died and you did not bring it up?” Catherine asks.

“Neither of you brought it up, and Lord Abernathy certainly didn’t bring it up to me. I thought maybe he had secured a different marriage contract for Margaret. In all honesty, I was rather disappointed in all of you. George was much too old for Margaret.”

“He would have made Margaret happy.” Catherine says.

“And George needed to settle down before he got too old. Your father made him a deal: if he could not find a woman to marry, then he would marry Margaret when she was at a more appropriate age. It worked out for everyone. She would make a perfect viscountess, it would secure her family’s finances…”

“Did Lord Abernathy secure a new marriage contract for Margaret or not?” I cut to the chase.

“No.” Catherine answers, her eyes watering. “I do not know what to do now. I do not have any male relatives to turn to for help. My ladyship hangs in the balance, which means Margaret’s ladyship hangs in the balance. My husband does not have any male relatives close to here. Someone I do not even know could come claim Margaret and I…and I’m terrified that she will be taken advantage of.”

“Someone from parliament will be by to discuss the Abernathy lordship.” Mother says. “I know of a few men who might-“

“I will marry Margaret.” I say. They both go silent and wide eyed. “It is the quickest way to write up a new contract. I can forge George’s signature. Aunt Catherine, you must be able to forge Uncle John’s. We can write up a new marriage contract stating that George knew he was sick and wanted to secure a proper match for myself and Margaret. It would honor the original Abernathy agreement, and it would explain why a young lady would be promised to a second son. This would also ensure that you and Margaret will not be taken away by some male cousin. Everything that’s left of your estate will go to me, that will be Margaret’s dowry.”

“We have money set aside for that.”

“I do not want your money. Save it for clothing and jewelry.” I grab a fresh sheet of paper and dip my quill into some ink. “We have to do this quickly. This will need time to dry and I will need to dunk it in some tea and dry it again so it looks older.”

“Harry…Margaret was never told about her arrangement with George. I am worried she will not take this news well.” Catherine says as she forges her husband’s signature.

“She is not ready for marriage yet. Wait for her to actually consider a proposal from a suitor, and then you can tell her of the arrangement.”

“What if she’s in love with the suitor?” Mother asks.

“She won’t be. I know Margaret Leigh very well, like the back of my hand. Believe me when I tell you, she will not fall in love with any man who tries to court her.”

“Harry, are you certain you are alright with this?” Mother asks, placing her hand on my shoulder.

“It is how Father would have handled things. Besides, at least with me, Margaret will actually be able to produce an heir.”

“Why would she not have with George?” Catherine asks. My mother and I make eyes, then look at her. ��What?”

“George was a dandy. He may have bedded Margaret on their wedding night, but probably not again after that. And sometimes, an heir is not made during the first go at things.” I explain.

“Oh, goodness. I suppose George wouldn’t have made Margaret happy, then.”

“No, he would have. They were good friends, and that’s how they would have remained. She would have just needed to seek out nightly comfort from someone else.”

“Enough, this is not appropriate.” Mother says. “Do what you need to do to the document. Speak with the representative from Parliament, let them know that there is a plan in place for Margaret. She will be informed of everything when the time is right.”

Seven Months Before the Wedding

Margaret

“Give me one good reason that I had to turn down Lord Chesterfield?! It was a perfectly acceptable proposal!” I shout at my mother as we enter the upstairs drawing room.

“Because! Because you have a marriage contract already!”

“What?! Why did you never tell me? When did this happen?”

“Your father arranged for it well before he died. We were just waiting to tell you until you became a bit older, a bit readier for marriage. The man we originally planned for you to marry was much older than you.”

“Why are you speaking of this man in the past tense?”

“Because he is no longer alive.”

“Who was it?”

“George.”

“As in George Styles?”

“Yes.”

“Why wasn’t I ever told about this?!” I’m about ready to rip all my hair out.

“It would take too long to explain.”

“I think I deserve an explanation.”

“I honestly do not have one. Your father kept me in the dark about most of it. I was just happy that he secured a good match for you. He did his job.”

“And now? Who am I to wed now?”

“Harry.”

“Very funny.”

“I am not kidding.”

“Mother.”

“You have been promised to him.”

“I’m not marrying Harry. I refuse!”

“You can’t.”

“What will he be getting out of this?”

“Aunt Catherine, may I have a private word with my betrothed?” Harry stands in the doorway, smirking. He’s like the villain in a children’s story. “I think I will be better able to answer her questions.”

“Of course.” My mother stands up and leaves the room.

Harry closes and locks the door. We stare at each other for a few moments.

“Not excited?” He finally asks.

“Why would I be?”

“You could do worse.” He shrugs.

“Why would you…you just agreed to this so easily?”

“There are many factors at play. You no longer have a male close to you to look out for you. We haven’t heard a thing about any relatives. I think my mother would off herself if you and Catherine were taken from here.”

“That would have happened when I eventually married.”

“No, just you would be taken away. Catherine would have remained here.”

“So, you’re doing this for your mother?”

“And for you. I don’t require a dowry, I have plenty of money and plenty of homes. You’ll be taken care of. You won’t even have to move. You can go on existing as you do now.”

“You don’t want to be married!”

“No, but I need to. I need to produce an heir at some point.”

“You could choose any other woman to marry. Why me?”

“Well, you’re the most suitable option. You can carry on an intelligent conversation. So many of these girls…they just say what they think you want to hear, what their mothers have told them to say to a man like me. I can speak candidly with you. It would take years for me to forge a relationship like that with another woman. You already know how an estate such as mine needs to be run. You’ve been watching my mother be a viscountess for ages. You’ll slip into the role flawlessly, Margaret. You’ll take your place in society. And she’s still here to keep showing you the ropes. You also know every single person who works for us and they all like you. That’s a big deal. Why should I bring a new woman in here? What if none of them like her? Some of these women are witches in disguise. This is convenient for both of us.”

“But…Harry…I hate you.”

“So?”

“So?! So?! I want to marry for love!”

“Margaret, grow up!” His voice booms, and he stalks toward me. I back up until my back hits a bookshelf. “You are an over-privileged little brat who has never been told no. You’ve gotten everything you’ve ever wanted throughout your entire life! People like us? We don’t get to choose what happens to us! I was never supposed to be viscount, and yet, here I am! I have to produce an heir. I need a wife. I can’t keep going to these events, pretending to care about anything any of these girls have to say! Don’t you think I’d want you to marry for love? That’s typically the exception, not the rule. Most people like us don’t marry for love. They marry for money and stability. Your mother will be well taken care of into her old age now. She and my mother will move into the other family home, the one you grew up in. We will have Styles House to ourselves. You can make it your own.” He takes a step back from me. “Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do.”

“This isn’t fair.”

“Life isn’t fair! I lost my father and my brother within a year of each other. I had to grow up in the blink of an eye. I had to put all of my interests and dreams aside to come home and take care of my family. And if you think for a second that I wouldn’t see to it that you weren’t also well taken care of, then you’re a lot dumber than I thought.”

“In order for me to produce an heir for you, that means we will need to…share a bed.”

“I’m aware of how babies are made.” He rolls his eyes.

“No, I mean…you would really…bed me?”

His face is, well, I can’t read it. He’s looking at me like I’m crazy. His hands come up and they look like they’re about to cup my face, but he just grips the bookshelf on either side of my head, caging me in.

“For the last four years, I have had to endure you being out in this society. I have had to watch you be called on, courted, and proposed to. Do you have any idea how much I wanted to wring the neck of every man that thought they were good enough for you? None of those men could have you. None of those men would even know what to do with you.” He’s so close. I can smell the mint on his breath. I can see the sweat forming on his face. My heart is racing.

“Why would you care about any of that? It’s not like…it’s not like…you agreed to push me down into the dirt just so your friends wouldn’t tease you about me, so don’t stand there and tell me you’re more than willing to marry me.”

“You need to let that go.” He growls. “I’m not a boy anymore, and you’re not a girl. I’m a man, and you are a lady.”

“I’m not marrying you.”

“Yes, you are.” He steps back from me. “The contracts have been signed. I went to the bishop to apply for a marriage license. We will marry at the beginning of next season. That leaves you plenty of time to plan the wedding of your dreams. Make it as lavish and extravagant as you like.”

“None of this makes any sense.”

“Let me make it make sense, then. If you don’t marry me, you will be forced to marry someone out of absolute necessity. You know who doesn’t care about dowries? Disgusting old men who will force you to give them an heir.”

“Isn’t that what you’re doing?”

“I’m not forcing you to do anything with your body that you don’t want to do. But if you want some shit-stained, yellow-teethed, drunken old fuck with lots of cash, be my guest.”

“There are plenty of other gentlemen-“

“You don’t have the time to find one. You and Catherine have been given a grace period, one that I asked Parliament for. That’s why you haven’t been taken by a male relative yet. No one has been contacted. But that grace period is almost up. I looked into who would end up taking over your estate. Would you like to live in the Scottish countryside? Because that’s where you’re going if we don’t get married. This is about survival, on both of our ends.”

“Mean.” Is all I can say, just above a whisper as tears burn at my eyes.

“This is all business, Margaret, try not to take it too personally. I’m not doing anything to you on purpose. I learned my lesson when I did that to you the first time.” My eyes snap to his. “I have a ring for you. I picked out something I think you will like quite a lot.” He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out the small box. He kneels before me on one knee and takes me left hand. I’m shaking. “Miss Margaret Leigh Abernathy, would you do me the great honor of becoming Viscountess Styles and being my wife?”

“Why are you asking if I don’t even have a choice?”

“Because even you deserve a proper proposal.”

I nod and he slips the ring on. It is quite beautiful. Damn him for knowing my taste in jewelry. He stands back up and brushes himself off.

“Good. Now the moving can begin.”

“Moving?”

“Yes, you and Catherine will be moved back to the other London house during our engagement. It wouldn’t be proper for us to live in the same home. People would talk. People don’t talk about my family often, but this is something that would be talked about, and I will not have your reputation ruined. This works out well since Catherine will end up living there after we’re married anyways. Gives her time to become reacquainted.” He places his hands on my shoulders. “Buck up, princess, you’re marrying a viscount.”

#the arrangement #viscountrry #harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #harry styles au #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles x oc #harry styles x y/n #harry styles y/n #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #regency era #victorian era

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hotvintagepoll · 8 months ago

Text

Propaganda

Hend Rostom (Cairo Station, Eshaat Hob)— Egyptian movie star called the "Marilyn Monroe of the East", need anyone say more

Gwen Verdon (Damn Yankees)— Gwen Verdon's performance as Lola in Damn Yankees opposite fallen hottie sacrifice Tab Hunter is legitimately one of my favorite performances ever done, especially in the number Whatever Lola Wants, Lola Gets. Damn Yankees is about a guy selling his soul for the Yankees to win a World Series, and Lola is the sexy demon who brokers the deal. Unfortunately, while Lola is played by Gwen Verdon and is therefore a complete and utter smoke show, Lola is also a demon and is not human, meaning she knows what sexy is and how it should kind of be performed, but some of the other nuances of seducing a man into selling his soul are a bit lost on her. Luckily for Lola, Gwen Verdon is a comic genius so it's still great. If you are attracted to weird little guys you are going to love this. Also, kudos to my man Tab, who in this scene legitimately just seems to be a bewildered guy who likes the Yankees. She also taught like a bunch of other members of the bracket dance. Her wikipedia page is crazy. Her second husband was Bob Fosse and they did a bunch of choreography together. [video below the cut]

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]

Hend Rostrom:

Gwen Verdon:

youtube

The only propaganda that this woman really needs, is her dancing, sadly there isn't a ton of her on YouTube as she mostly stuck to Broadway musicals. But here she is dancing the insane Who's Got The Pain with her lover/soon-to-be husband Bob Fosse.

youtube

She was Fosse's muse, and it's not hard to see why. She had an electric quality to her dancing that's hard to emulate. Hard to believe she had rickets as a kid. Not very sexy to suffer from rickets as a child, but to overcome that and become a famous dancer? Sexy as hell. She actually quit dancing when she got pregnant at only seventeen. But she was able to get back into it after a few years, playing small ensemble parts. The opening performance of her first big role on Broadway garnered her huge amounts of praise, and she even won a Tony. She also had a huge hand in helping Bob Fosse with choreographing some of his more famous shows, and she left an indelible mark on dancing history. Her influence can still be seen today, and damn if that isn't hella sexy.

#gwen verdon #hend rostom #hotvintagepoll #fuck that old woman #ladies 1 #tab hunter sighting!#Youtube

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sidekick-hero · 5 months ago

Text

I'll keep you like an oath (may nothing but death do us part) - my contribution to the @steddiesummerexchange for @starryeyedjanai can now be read in full 🥰

Pairings: Steve/Eddie, Robin/Chrissy Characters: Steve, Eddie, Robin, Chrissy, Max, Dustin, Wayne Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fake Marriage, Platonic Stobin, Platonic Hellcheer, idiot4idiot, Friends to Husbands to Lovers, Humor and Fluff and a smudge Angst

Summary:

When Steve's grandmother dies, he finds out that he can only get his inheritance - half a million dollars - if he marries someone. It's her way of forcing Steve to live a heterosexual life. Sucks for her that gay marriage has been legalized since she wrote her will. Sucks for Steve that he doesn't have a man or woman in his life to marry. Cue Eddie Munson, roommate and best friend of Robin's girlfriend Chrissy and the guy Steve has had a crush on for years.

What could possibly go wrong?

Read on AO3

Chapter 1| Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Chapter 4 (5k) under the cut

The day of the wedding arrives with an almost surreal sense of calm. The venue, a charming garden nestled behind a quaint bed and breakfast just out of town, is adorned with delicate fairy lights and fresh flowers. Eddie stands in front of a mirror in a small, cozy room, adjusting his tie for the tenth time. He takes a deep breath, trying to steady the nervous energy buzzing through him.

Chrissy, his best person, just like Robin is Steve’s, stands beside him, offering a reassuring smile. "You look great, Teddy. Steve’s going to swoon when he sees you.”

He looks at his best friend in the mirror and gives her a small smile. "You know it's not like that, Chris."

She hums. "You keep saying that, but I don't know. Yeah, you're getting married so he gets his inheritance, I get it. But that's not what the way he looks at you says, honey."

"Chris -"

"I'm just saying. He was flirting with you when you two first met, so he must think you're hot."

"Yeah, and I blew it," Eddie reminds her, his voice forlorn. He's still kicking himself over how stupid he was, how prejudiced he was, not realizing that this great guy was hitting on him and blowing his chance by being a jerk to him.

By the time he finally realized that Steve was actually a good guy, he had already backed off and stopped all his earlier attempts to get to know Eddie. Eddie had gotten the message loud and clear. He was too late, and Steve had already moved on.

A knock on the door interrupts their conversation. Eddie is glad, especially when he sees who’s standing in the doorway.

"Wayne!" he exclaims, jumping into the older man's arms. "You made it."

The man’s laughter rumbles against Eddie’s chest. "I told you I would be here, son. It's not every day your nephew gets married, is it?"

Eddie sinks deeper into the warm embrace, inhaling the smell of Old Spice, cigarette smoke, and the laundry detergent his uncle has been using for as long as Eddie can remember. It smells like home.

Eddie reluctantly pulls away from Wayne’s embrace, his heart feeling lighter. “I’m really glad you’re here, Wayne. It means a lot to me.”

Wayne pats Eddie’s shoulder affectionately. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Now, where’s this Steve fella I’ve been hearing so much about?”

Eddie’s stomach tightens at the mention of Steve. “He’s probably getting ready~~.~~ Let me introduce you.”

They make their way through the cozy hallways and out into the garden. The atmosphere is cheerful, filled with laughter and the scent of blooming flowers. They turn left to Steve's dressing room and when they knock, Robin answers with a busy expression, a tie pin between her teeth. Eddie spots Steve in front of the mirror, nervously adjusting his tie.

“Steve!” Eddie calls out, his voice steady but with a hint of excitement. He's unexpectedly nervous about introducing Steve to his uncle. Wayne is his only family, the man who raised him like Eddie was his own son, and his opinion means a whole lot to Eddie. He's always wanted Wayne to be proud of him, and he can't help but hope that he'll approve of Steve.

Steve turns, his eyes lighting up when he sees Eddie. He walks over, his smile widening as he notices Wayne but Eddie can tell by the crinkling of his brows and the tense line of his shoulders that Steve’s just as nervous as Eddie is. “Hey, Eddie. This must be your uncle.”

Wayne steps forward, extending a hand. “Nice to finally meet you, Steve. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

That makes Steve pause, even as he reaches for the offered hand. "You did?" he asks, sounding way too surprised and incredulous, and Eddie winces.

Well, yeah, Wayne may have had a front-row seat as he went from being angry about how unfairly hot the jock who invaded their apartment is to being distraught when he realized that said jock is actually really dreamy and sweet and that Eddie is such a fucking idiot for blowing his chance with him.

Not that Steve needs to know any of this. Eddie had told Wayne an only slightly altered version of Steve's cover story, so he hopes Wayne won't bring up Eddie's pathetic pining and mooning.

Steve catches himself, and as he shakes Wayne's hand firmly, his expression becomes warm and welcoming. "I wanted to say: Nice to meet you too, Mr. Munson. Eddie's told me a lot about you, too."

Wayne just chuckles at Steve's fumble. “Please, call me Wayne, you’re part of the family now,” he insists, his eyes twinkling with genuine interest. “So, you’re the one who’s been making my nephew all starry-eyed, huh?”

Eddie feels his cheeks heat up, and he tries to brush it off with a laugh. “Wayne!”

Steve chuckles, a slight blush coloring his own cheeks. “I guess so. Eddie’s been pretty special to me too.”

Wayne’s smile widens, and he looks between the two men with approval. “Well, it’s good to see you two together. Eddie deserves someone who appreciates him.”

Steve’s eyes soften as he glances at Eddie. “I appreciate him more than he knows.”

Eddie’s heart skips a beat at Steve’s words, and for a moment, he almost forgets about the ruse. The sincerity in Steve’s eyes makes him wonder, just for a moment, if maybe he isn’t the only one harboring some very real feelings.

Wayne claps Steve on the back, breaking the moment. “I’m looking forward to seeing you two tie the knot. If you ever hurt him, though, you’ll have to answer to me and my shotgun.”

Steve nods solemnly. “I understand. You have my word, Wayne.”

Wayne gives a satisfied nod before turning to Eddie. “Alright, I’ll let you two finish getting ready. Just wanted to say hi before the ceremony.”

Eddie watches as Wayne heads off to mingle with the other guests, feeling a mixture of relief and anxiety. He turns to Steve, who’s still watching him with that same warm expression.

“You okay?” Steve asks softly.

"Yeah, just nervous," Eddie admits, running a hand through his hair. "This all feels so... real, it's fucking with my head a little bit, I guess. It's weird that our friends and family are all celebrating this special day with so much, I dunno, enthusiasm. They're all so happy for us, Steve."

Steve steps closer and puts a reassuring hand on Eddie's shoulder. "I know. And I feel bad about lying to them, too. I wish we didn't have to, but..." he trails off, and Eddie knows he means to say that he doesn't want to get any more people involved in what is really a scam. But Eddie can't help wishing they didn't have to lie because it's real.

"I get it, Stevie. And I'm fine. All in, right?"

Steve takes his hands and squeezes them. "All in."

The ceremony itself is a quick affair. The officiator is an elderly woman, who speaks in a warm and calm voice about marriage and promises, about sickness and health, about sacrifices and the blessing of a life full of love and joy and laughter. Eddie can hear a few sniffles from their friends and family, but he only has eyes for Steve. Steve, who looks so handsome in his black suit and fitting bowtie, his hair tussled artfully and his hazel eyes shining with emotion. It’s not real, a voice inside his head reminds him, but just for this moment he quiets it and enjoys the feeling of having the man he’s actually in love with look at him like that.

When it’s time for the vows, Eddie’s voice trembles slightly, but his words are steady and heartfelt. He talks about how much Steve has been surprising him again and again, showing him so many unexpected sides of himself. When Eddie had thought Steve to be just another rich asshole jock he’s proven to Eddie how he’s caring and brave, opening his heart to Eddie when all his previous experiences taught him not to.

“And I can’t wait for you to keep me on my toes for the rest of our lives,” Eddie ends. He means it. If he has any say in it, he’ll happily have Steve prove him wrong for as long as he lives.

Steve blinks back tears as he takes Eddie’s hands. His vows sound just as heartfelt, just as real and tomorrow, Eddie will probably overthink what it all means. But today, he lets his heart enjoy them.

After their vows they exchange rings, and the officiant pronounces them married. As they kiss, the garden erupts in applause and cheers and Eddie can hear Dustin whoop and Jeff whistle loudly. He feels a wave of happiness and relief wash over him and sees the same sentiment reflected on Steve’s face.

He nudges him, the grin loud in his voice. “That wasn’t so bad, wasn’t it?”

Steve shrugs, aiming for nonchalant and failing miserably because of the answering grin splitting his face.

“You think your grandma would’ve liked it?” Eddie asks and Steve laughs out loud.

“Oh she would have hated every second of it.”

“Good. That’s good.”

“Yeah, it is.” Suddenly, Steve’s much closer than he had been seconds ago, their noses almost touching. “Thank you, Eddie. For everything.” And then Steve kisses his cheek, his soft lips gracing the arch of his cheekbone in a way that feels more intimate than the quick kiss they exchanged when the officiant told them to.

The reception is a blur of laughter, dancing, and heartfelt toasts. Robin and Chrissy’s are both hilarious, while Wayne chokes up a bit when he asks Steve to take good care of the only son Wayne’s ever had. Steve takes Eddie’s hand and squeezes it while looking at Wayne and promising him to always look out for Eddie and care for him.

Even Captain Hopper says a few words, and Eddie can tell how much that means to Steve.

The night ends when Eddie falls asleep with his head on Steve’s shoulder, slightly drooling on his husband's lapel. Steve half-drags, half-carries him to their room and helps him undress to his underwear before Eddie crawls under the sheets. When Steve offers to sleep on the ground, Eddie is too tired to argue. Instead, he just pulls back the blanket on the other side of the bed and makes grabby hands at him.

Steve chuckles softly and slides into bed next to Eddie. The last thing Eddie feels is Steve’s breath against his nape as he tells him goodnight. He falls asleep with a smile on his face.

The next morning, they enjoy breakfast with their closest friends and family. The air is filled with laughter and the clinking of dishes as everyone shares stories from the previous night. Wayne presents them with their wedding gift - a two-week stay at a cabin situated by one of the Great Lakes in the area. It's the same place where Wayne used to take Eddie for fishing trips when he was a boy.

“The cabin,” Wayne tells Steve, “has always been a special place for Eddie and me. I thought you two could use some peace and quiet after all this excitement.”

Eddie’s eyes glisten as he accepts the gift. “Thanks, Wayne. That means a lot.”

Steve places a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, his own smile warm and genuine. “It sounds perfect. Thank you, Wayne.”

As breakfast winds down, Eddie and Steve find themselves surrounded by well-wishers. They say goodbye to everyone, exchanging hugs and promises of phone calls and visits.

Wayne pats Eddie on the back. "Take care of each other up there. And don't forget to fish.” He adds with a deadpan look.

Eddie groans in embarrassment. "Oh my God."

When everyone but them and Robin and Chrissy have left, Eddie feels a mixture of excitement and nervousness. They're supposed to go back to Steve's apartment, while Chrissy and Robin will go back to Chrissy's apartment. He moved in with Steve the week before, and they both helped Robin move in with Chrissy. He was glad that the wedding had taken up a lot of their time and energy, enough to distract Steve from missing his other half too much.

That will change now, but at least they have two full weeks at the cabin for Steve to get used to having Eddie around a lot more.

The drive to the cabin two days later is filled with lighthearted banter about music and comfortable silences as Steve and Eddie enjoy the scenic views on their way to their destination. It feels easy between them, and Eddie curses himself once again that he could have had this for years. Like Elizabeth Bennet, his own pride and prejudice got in the way.

When they finally arrive, they're greeted by the sight of a quaint cabin nestled on the shore of one of the Great Lakes, its surroundings offering a sense of peace and seclusion. There are no other cabins in sight, and Eddie knows from all the times he's been here with Wayne that the nearest neighbors are about 15 to 20 minutes away on foot, and the nearest store is in a small village about 20 minutes away by car.

"Your uncle was right, it's perfect here after all the stress and excitement of the last few weeks," Steve says as they gather their belongings from the car and approach the cabin. The lake is right in front of them, the sun reflecting off it in a way that Eddie has come to associate with endless summers spent here fishing with his uncle.

"Yeah, don't tell him I said that, but Wayne's usually right about things."

Steve mimics zipping his lips, earning a laugh from Eddie.

As they step inside, they take a tour of the small cabin. There's a decently sized open kitchen and a living room with a small couch and a dining table. No TV, which won’t be a problem because Eddie brought his laptop. The bathroom is equally small but has a rather big walk-in shower, something Eddie can’t help but imagine testing out with Steve. Him on his knees in front of Steve, while droplets of water rain down on them, catching in the thick patch of chest hair and running down towards…

“Eddie,” Steve calls, ripping him from his fantasy.

“What’s the matter?” he calls back, quickly hurrying out of the bathroom and towards the only room they haven’t checked out yet—the bedroom.

Which he quickly remembers has only one bed. Eddie had slept on the couch when he had been still small enough to do so and later on an air mattress they brought along.

Steve glances at him with wide eyes and then back at the small couch in the living room, immediately offering to take it. Eddie shakes his head.

"It's fine, Steve. We've shared a bed before," Eddie tells him with a reassuring smile. His cheeks heat with the memory of Steve’s warm breath against his nape before he fell asleep on their wedding night. When he had woken up the next morning, Steve had already been gone from the bed, something he mourned for the five minutes or so it took Steve to step into their room with only a towel slung around his hips. The sight had been the best consolation prize he could’ve asked for.

Steve looks at him, relieved. "If you say so. Just don't hog all the blankets."

Eddie grins. "No promises."

They unpack their bags and settle in, the cozy cabin quickly feeling like home. The first few days fall into a blissful routine—swimming in the lake, taking long walks along the shoreline, cooking meals together, and watching "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" on Eddie's laptop.

On their second afternoon, while preparing lunch, Eddie tries to impress Steve with his nonexistent proficiency in making pancakes. This earns him the heavenly sound of Steve’s laughter as his sad attempts to flip a pancake end with batter splattered everywhere.

"You're supposed to flip it, not fling it," Steve teases, wiping batter off Eddie’s cheek. Eddie's cheeks heat under his gentle touch.

Eddie chuckles, shaking his head. "Hey, I'm trying. Cooking was never my strong suit."

Steve smiles, handing him another spatula. "Well, lucky for you, I'm a great teacher."

And he is, even if the way he presses himself up against Eddie's back, the way his big hand rests on Eddie's wrist as he holds the pan, is unfairly distracting. Eddie messes up a few more times, mostly because he gets caught up in the way Steve feels, smells, and sounds every time he gives Eddie instructions in a soft yet firm voice.

When Eddie finally gets it right, Steve's praise sears itself into his brain, altering his brain chemistry irrevocably.

“See? You’ve got it!” Steve exclaims, his voice filled with genuine pride.

Eddie grins, feeling a warmth that has nothing to do with the stove. "All thanks to my amazing teacher."

Steve laughs, leaning in close. "I knew you had it in you."

Eddie can’t help but flirt back. "Guess you'll have to keep teaching me things, then."

Steve’s eyes sparkle with mischief. "Oh, I plan to."

They fall into an easy rhythm, working together in the kitchen, their movements synchronized as if they've been doing this for years. The cabin becomes their little sanctuary, where the outside world seems to fade away. It's easy to forget that this is all just part of their ruse because nothing about the way they act around each other feels fake.

One evening a few days later, they walk along the lake, the setting sun casting a golden glow over the water. Steve skips stones across the surface, watching the ripples spread outward, and Eddie is once again reminded of Steve's past as a high school jock. However, the thought doesn't bring up the old resentment. Instead, he feels a little jealous and a lot turned on by the competent way Steve masters things like flipping pancakes or skipping stones.

"You know," Steve says, breaking the comfortable silence, "this place is really special. I'm glad Wayne thought of it."

Eddie nods, admiring the way Steve's eyes reflect the fading light. "Yeah, it brings back a lot of good memories. When I first came to live with Wayne, I was angry all the time. At everyone. Mostly at myself, I guess. It probably wasn't easy for Wayne, the way I shut him out and acted like it was such a burden to live with him. He brought me here about a year after I moved in, and at first, I thought it was his way of punishing me for my bad behavior. Turns out, forced proximity helps you get over some stupid hang-ups pretty quickly. We've been here every year since, until I moved out at 20."

Steve listens to the story in silence. When Eddie’s done, he says, “I’m glad you had Wayne growing up.”

"Yeah, me too. The old man's got a big heart and he loves taking in strays. Before you know it, he'll be calling you ‘son’ and forcing you to watch baseball with him every season.”

“That sounds pretty awesome, actually.”

Eddie laughs. "It is. Though I have to warn you, he's a die-hard Cubs fan. There’s no escape from it."

Steve chuckles, tossing another stone. "Well, I’m a White Sox fan, so I’m sure we’ll have plenty to argue about."

Eddie raises an eyebrow. "Oh, a White Sox fan? This is going to be interesting."

Steve grins. "Trust me, I can hold my own in a baseball debate."

Eddie smiles, feeling a warmth in his chest that has nothing to do with the setting sun. "You're a good guy, Steve."

Steve looks at him, eyes softening. "So are you, Eddie."

They share a quiet smile before continuing their walk, the air filled with the sounds of nature and the occasional splash of a fish jumping.

Eddie cannot remember the last time he felt so at peace with himself and the world.

Later that night, they find themselves sitting side by side on the bed, sharing a bowl of popcorn as they immerse themselves in yet another episode of Buffy. By now it has become part of their routine, all their days ending the same way. The first night, they had kept their distance, but the small screen and the growing familiarity between them soon made them sit closer and closer.

Now their backs rest comfortably against the headboard, their shoulders occasionally brush against each other, and their legs rest comfortably together under the blanket.

"I gotta say, Angel was always meant to be with Buffy," Steve suddenly supplies, apropos of nothing.

Eddie scoffs and turns to look at him in disbelief. "Oh, come on! Are you still stuck in the 90s? Spike was the one for her, no doubt about it."

They both reach for the popcorn bowl, their eyes never leaving the screen as Buffy and Angel dance together at Buffy's prom.

"But, Eddie," Steve insists, "Angel had depth. He understood Buffy's inner turmoil like no one else."

Eddie shakes his head, a smirk on his lips. "Depth? Please. Angel was brooding half the time, and when he wasn't, he was busy being melodramatic about his curse. Spike, on the other hand, embraced his vampiric nature and challenged Buffy in a way that Angel never did."

As the scene ends, Steve gestures to the screen. "But Angel had this epic love story with Buffy! They were soulmates, destined to be together."

"Soulmates, shmoulmates," Eddie retorts, leaning closer to the laptop. "Buffy needed someone who could stand toe-to-toe with her, someone who wasn't afraid to call her out on her nonsense. Spike did that and more."

Steve reaches for the beers on the floor next to him and hands a fresh one to Eddie, who gives him a grateful nudge with his shoulder before taking a sip.

"Yeah, but Angel was her first love. You can't deny the significance of that," Steve argues, taking a sip of his own beer.

The argument makes Eddie smile involuntarily because it's such a Steve thing to say. He's a romantic at heart, one who doesn't do a very good job of hiding it.

Eddie nods in agreement because he can see Steve's point, but then he remembers Steve's story about the first girl he loved and how the breakup left him pretty messed up. "First love doesn't always mean forever love, Steve. Buffy grew, she changed, and so did what she needed in a partner. Spike wasn't always what she wanted, but he was what she needed and I think deep down she knew that and it scared the hell outta her."

Steve looks at him with an unreadable expression and says, "Maybe you're right. I guess love is pretty scary."

Feeling like they're no longer talking about Buffy Summers, Eddie clears his throat awkwardly. "Yeah, it is," he agrees, reaching into the popcorn bowl just to have something to do.

Steve seems to have the same idea, because suddenly their fingers brush against each other as they reach for the same handful of popcorn.

The moment their fingers touch, it ignites a spark, an electric charge that leaves them frozen in the moment, their eyes meeting in the dim light cast by the laptop screen. The world seems to pause, time standing still as Eddie recalls the story Steve had told everyone. It had sounded like such a funny cover story to explain their sudden and unexpected marriage, but now Eddie doesn’t feel like laughing.

His heart hammers against his ribcage as he leans in closer, his gaze instinctively drawn to Steve's lips.

"Steve," he whispers, his voice a soft undertone barely audible against the background noise of the laptop.

"Yeah?" Steve's voice matches Eddie's in volume, his breath a warm whisper against Eddie's skin.

His heart still pounding, Eddie swallows, nerves and anticipation causing his voice to tremble. He knows what he wants this moment to mean, but once he acknowledges it, there's no going back.

Steve's courage must be rubbing off on him because he still asks the question that's been on his mind since their conversation in his apartment. "Do you... do you ever wonder what it would be like if this was real?"

Steve's eyes search Eddie's face, his own a complex mix of hope and uncertainty. Eddie feels like he's seconds away from a heart attack as he waits for Steve's answer. When it comes, Steve's voice is barely audible; Eddie reads it as much from his lips as he hears it.

"Every day."

Hearing Steve's answer, Eddie's breath hitches and he feels a tidal wave of emotions he can no longer suppress. "Me too."

Later, Eddie couldn't tell who leaned in first, and honestly, it doesn't matter because in that moment, it's clear they both want it. As soon as their lips meet, it feels like the universe has aligned and everything falls into place. The way Steve's lips feel against his is nothing short of divine, so maybe Eddie needs to rethink his stance on soul mates and destiny.

While the first press of lips is soft, even tentative, the kiss quickly deepens as they pour years of unspoken feelings into it.

When they finally pull away for air, they are both breathless. Eddie laughs softly, the sound a mixture of disbelief and pure joy.

"Just like your story, huh?" he whispers, the corners of his mouth lifting in a smile.

Steve grins in return, his thumb gently tracing Eddie's cheek in an intimate gesture. "Yeah. Only this time it's real."

"It better be," Eddie says before leaning in to capture Steve's lips once more. They share another kiss, and then another, until the bowl of popcorn between them is forgotten and the laptop screen goes dark.

The next morning, they wake up tangled together under the sheets. Eddie’s head rests on Steve’s broad chest, their legs entwined and Eddie hugging Steve’s torso like a pillow. Steve’s left arm is wrapped around his waist while his right hand cards through Eddie’s hair, indicating he's awake.

Last night was real, is his first coherent thought.

When Eddie lifts his head, he feels Steve’s breath hitch and his arm around his waist tighten. The hand in his hair stops its gentle ministrations, and Eddie makes an involuntary noise of protest.

Steve laughs softly at him and continues. “Morning, sleepyhead.”

“What time is it?” Eddie half asks, half yawns.

“Almost noon. I was waiting for you to wake up because you were using me as your own personal teddy bear and I didn’t wanna wake you.”

Eddie feels his cheeks heat up and hastily tries to untangle himself from Steve, but is stopped by strong arms.

“I wasn’t complaining. In fact, I really like it. You’re cute like that, even when you’re drooling on my shirt.” The soft kiss to his forehead matches the fond tone of Steve’s voice.

Snuggling deeper into Steve’s embrace, he asks, “So yesterday…?”

“...has been something I wanted to do for a long time.”

It’s hard to believe, Steve wanting to kiss him for so long. Maybe for as long as Eddie has wanted to.

“Why didn’t you do it before yesterday then?”

He feels Steve shrug underneath him. “Figured you didn’t want me to. When I tried to flirt with you, get to know you, you made it pretty clear that you weren’t interested. So I stopped. Tried to act like I didn’t think about kissing you every time I saw you.”

This time, Eddie lifts his head to look down at Steve. “I am such a fucking idiot, Steve. You shouldn’t want to kiss me. When we first met I was so sure you were—” he pauses and Steve helpfully adds, “a rich asshole jock.” “Yeah. Took me a while to get over myself and realize you were nothing like that. When I did, it seemed like you already moved on. I was too scared to get rejected, especially because I would’ve deserved it. So I acted like I didn’t think about kissing you every time I saw you.”

Gazing into each other’s eyes, they both burst out laughing.

“God, we’re idiots,” Steve laughs, rubbing his nose against Eddie’s. Then, his eyes suddenly widen. “Max can never find out! I had to promise her that I wouldn’t let this turn into ‘one of those rom-com clichés where everything goes horribly wrong because no one just talked to each other.’”

The sound that leaves Eddie’s mouth is half laugh, half groan. “We shall never speak of this then.”

And just because he can, he steals another kiss from Steve before his face and tone turn sober.

“Only Chrissy and Birdie know about our idiocy. In a way, your story about how we got together is true, just the timeline is a bit different. How about we just come back and live the married life we’re supposed to?”

Wrapping his strong thighs around Eddie’s waist and bringing their groins together, Steve smiles up at him. “I’d love that,” he says, kissing Eddie. Deep and dirty and hungry.

They don’t leave the cabin for the rest of the day.

One afternoon a few days later, lying on a blanket by the lake, Eddie turns to Steve, propped up on one elbow. "What's next on the agenda when we get back home?"

Steve thinks for a moment, then smiles. "Honestly? I don't know. I just want to be with you. We'll figure the rest out as we go."

Eddie feels a warmth spreading through his chest. Still, he has to ask. "Who are you and what have you done to Steve?"

Tracing Eddie's slightly sunburned cheek with his finger, Steve laughs softly. "He just learned that good things can happen when you don't plan for them. Like falling in love and marrying that person before learning that they might even like you back."

"Love you back,' you mean," is all Eddie says. He presses a quick kiss to the soft skin of Steve's stomach before settling back down on the blanket.

As the sun sets, casting a warm glow over the water, they sit in comfortable silence, watching the world change colors.

#steddie #steddie fanfic #steddiesummerexchange #stranger things fanfiction #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #my writing

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zeroclockk · 6 months ago

Text

— ⋆˙⟡ Love Your Feeling (JJK) || Chapter one

- Cat Fights ₊˚⊹♡

"We're going to a party!" Minnie told us. "DO YOU KNOW WHO'S GONNA BE THERE?" "Yeah, yeah. Your future husband blah blah i know" she responded

Pair: jjk x femOC, college students, best friends

Word count: 6.6k

masterlist || taglist

!Friends to Lovers, Protective Brother, Secret Dating, Friends with Benefits, Angst, Mature content, Dysfunctional Family, Fluff, Smut, Mentions of Alcoholism and Abuse

——————————————————————₊˚⊹♡

"Time's up, pens down"

Alright, I actually butchered that test. I mean it's not like I'm a grade A student, plus maths is.. overrated, fucked up. Who cares? Not me.

I pick up my backpack from the ground and walk over to the teacher's desk to hand in my test. No expression on my face as I walk past his desk, to the exit of the class room. Please don't call my name, please just let me go-

"Nayun!" I sigh loudly. Turn around in my tracks, and walk back. "Yes sir?" I try to sound as politely as possible, whilst giving him a faint little smile.

"Sit down for a second please" he points at the desk that's closest to his, I sit down in that very seat.

"Your grades haven't been the best in weeks, is everything okay at home?" I hate it when teachers act all concerned, maybe teach a little better? Maybe that'd help.

"Yeah I know. I've been great, maths just isn't my strongest subject" I say trying to keep my posture straight, looking down at my finger nails.

"Could you spare me 5 minutes of your time whilst I grade your paper right now?" I look back up, eyebrows raised. I wanna sigh so loudly, I need to stay respectful though. Why now? All this does, is take time off my precious, little, lunch.

"Yeah that's alright" I respond, as he reverts his focus on my test paper.

*bzz*

I grab my phone

JK: yo where you at?

Me: Mr. Kangs classroom, maths. Meet me there.

I immediately put my phone back again, and wait. Look around the room. There's not a lot to it. I remember at my old school, the teachers had their designated classrooms as well. They'd decorate it in whatever subject they were teaching.

This school? Not so much.

"So.. miss Min" he starts, putting his pen down. He places his elbows on the table, hands intertwined with each other, leaning his chin on top of it.

All I can do, is patiently await on what he has to say. I could give fuck all on maths, but Mr. Kang is scary.

"If you keep scoring this low, you won't pass next year. You got a 37% today." He says. Please just, get me out of here.

"I'll see if I can arrange something regarding my grade, i apologize." I get up from my seat, and leave the classroom. Give me 1 reason not to smash this man's car right now. 'Everything okay at home?' Yappa yappa, fuck this honestly.

I continue down the hallway, until I spot Jungkook. "How'd your test go?" Jungkook asks me. Jungkook has been my best friend since 7th grade, we grew very close over the years. "What do you think?"

"Not well?" He asks me again

"I didn't even get to the last question" I tell him, which makes him laugh. Bitch.

"HEY NAYUN HOW'D YOUR-"

"Sshh don't ask" Jungkook interrupts Nabi who spotted us walking in the hallway.

"oh- okay well... Jia is watching the football practice, wanna go sit with her?" She asks.

"Anything that takes my mind off of that stupid test is fine with me" I answer.

I really don't mind the fact that I didn't do well, it's the fact that he had to bring up my home situation. I'll tell him it's fine, of course. But one suspicion and I'll be sent to the counselor, again. I've done my story many times, over and over again.

"Why's she watching the football practice?" Jungkook asks Nabi. "Better question, why aren't you watching with her?" I say. Jungkook looks at me with a confused face, poor boy is not being led in on any of the tea.

"HEY! I'm not that desperate okay" Nabi responds, looking down at the ground. "You're saying that as if we're not heading over to practice right this second" I laugh.

She's not going to appreciate that comeback. I look over to her side, and as guessed she's looking at me very annoyed. Jungkook still doesn't know what we're on about, as we continue down the hall.

Football practice takes place at the back of the building, on the big field. It's really not that interesting, just some dudes kicking a ball around. But, I'm afraid to admit I'm quite excited as well. Taehyung is on the team, schools most popular boy. I would get killed if I admitted to finding him let's say... a little intriguing.

Nabi quietly runs over to Jia as soon as she's in sight, and sits next to her. Theyre probably gossiping about the reason why they're here in the first place.

"What are they on?" Jungkook asks me. He's so clueless, it's funny. I giggle a little, and tell him.

"Take a guess Jungkook, we're at a FOOTBALL practice.. full of BOYS" I make sure to pronounce the important clues to that sentence slowly, so that hopefully he'll catch on.

"Ew.. Do I really have to go with you guys? I didn't imagine my lunchtime to be spent watching a bunch of sweaty guys play football"

"Hey don't leave me alone in this, Don't you think there are things id rather be doing than this?" I lie, I might enjoy doing this for my lunch break.

I intertwine my arm with his making him stay put on the bleachers. "Well, why don't we just take a run for it and spend lunch doing more fun things?" Jungkook says.

"We could but.. We're already here, I think they might want us here. I don't see Minnie either so." Even if I wanted to spent my lunch with Jungkook. I gotta say that I'm pretty lazy as well. Jungkook and I walk over to the two girls sitting on the bleachers, giggling trying to look their best. And I can tell you, it's working.

"Hiii!" Jia greets me. I quickly hug her and sit next to her. "So who are we looking at" Jungkook asks.

"You told him?!" Jia snaps her head at me, jaw dropped. "I mean why else would we be here? I can't lie to him you know that" Honestly I just wanted to gossip with him, I can lie to that boy all I want.

"You dirty-" She switches her gaze from me to Jungkook, and squints her eyes.

"We're not looking at anyone" and looks back at the field.

Jungkook and I look at each other, bursting into laughter. "As if we're gonna believe that" I say.

"Yeah seriously tell us, who are we looking at" Jungkook asks.

Jia is seriously getting pissed, but she isn't gonna get Jungkook to believe we're just sitting here because of the fresh air or something.

Nabi chimes in smiling "You see number 5? She totally got a crush on Him" She tells Jungkook

"HEY! NO NO, LET'S TALK ABOUT NUMBER 11 INSTEAD" Jia says pointing at the field where number 11 and 5 are standing, doing pretty much nothing.

"WHAT?! NO NO, We don't have to number 11 is pretty much irrelevant" Nabi nervously laughs leaning over Jia, pushing her arms away.

The two boys notice the fuss from behind them and they look at all of us, Nabi and Jia quickly sit back down smiling softly as if they weren't fighting just now.

"Anyways where's Minnie?" I ask both of the girls.

"She's skipping school to go out with some mystery boy" Jia answers. "Hold up what??" Nabi and I both say confused that one of us is going out.

"Yeah I have no idea, she's seeing some guy but I'm not allowed to know who" Jia informs us. That makes one of us to actually get some dick, congrats.

"Do you know anything about this guy?" Nabi asks.

"Nope, I have a feeling he goes to this school but I got no clues whatsoever. It was difficult finding out she was hanging out with a boy in the first place" Jia tells her.

Usually, I'm not really that curious of a person. I think I should leave people and their businesses alone but when it comes to my best friends? Yeah, I'd definitely wanna know. Minnie is hanging out with a guy, possibly from school? Why didn't she tell us? Is this guy hot? Is he good to her?

Anyways.. when is it my turn, I'm seriously getting tired. 19 years, and all I've gotten is guys just looking for a little fling. It's frustrating thinking ur about to settle with someone, just to hear they don't want anything serious.

"Omg Nayun, look that guy is totally looking at you!" Nabi says which snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Huh, what?" I say redirecting my attention to her. "Number 1, he's totally looking at you" Nabi says again.

I look over at the field to find number 1 looking our way. Number 1 aka THE Kim Taehyung. He's 20 years old, 178cm tall. He's honestly so handsome, to have him looking at me sounds quite, unreal to say the least. I don't crush on people an often but, Taehyung has definitely been an exception recently.

"Ew no he's probably just checking out Jungkook" I say to get the awkwardness off of me.

"Oh my god yes please" Jungkook says before biting his lip softly, waving at the guy looking at us. Everyone bursts into laughter. Why is he like this, I can't with this dude.

"What do you guys have for your next class?" I ask.

"We're free" Nabi says referring to Jia and her while swinging her arm around Jia's neck.

"Are you kidding me? How?" I ask.

"Wednesdays are short for us and our economics teacher is sick." Jia answers.

"Ugh, jealous. Jungkook what about you?" I look over to his side. "I got English next, after that I got art, and then I'm done" he replies.

"Is art a two hour class for you?" I ask. "Yeah, I finish at 3 pm" he says. "Great! wanna take the bus home together?" I ask him. I seriously do not want to ride home alone today.

I don't know what it is but one day I just don't want to go on my own, and the other I'd wish I was the only person taking that bus. "Sure I'll wait at your locker" he says.

"Wait, you guys really spent your time watching these sweaty guys? Like as in your free time? Voluntarily?" Jungkook asks Nabi and Jia. "The situation still isn't very clear to you now is it Jungkook?" I ask him.

"No, please do explain" he answers.

Seriously this dude does not catch on for the life of me, sometimes it gets really annoying but it isn't his fault.

"Okay so Nabi has this thing for number 11 Park Jimin, and Jia has this thing for number 5 Kim Jongin, they call him Kai" I explain

"Ohh so Nabi wasnt kidding" He says.

"No she was full on exposing Nabi" i laugh. "Wait, Kai's real name is Jongin?"

"Yeah I didn't know either, no clue where it comes from" Kai sounds better anyways so who really cares?

"This is boring me already"

——————————————————————

My last class felt like it was never going to end, I've never been so bored in my entire life. I walk to my locker, to grab my stuff. Jungkook is already leaning against it. Legs crossed, phone in hand. At first sight, he looks like he'd be one of the popular ones.

He changed his look a lot, over the years. Going from this baby faced little boy, with a bowl cut. To a well mannered guy that goes to the gym, grown out hair, and great sense of fashion.

I try to stay as silent as possible in attempt to scare him, but I fail. He's spot me already, tucking his phone in his pocket. "Sup. You wanna grab something to eat first before going home?" He asks me.

"Omg can we please go to Bunny Bites?" I answer, opening my locker to grab my stuff. He agrees with me.

Bunny bites is, despite its name. A really cute cat cafe, downtown. Not many people know of it, since it's quite tucked away. The people who do know, like to gate keep the place.

The place is so, pinterest worthy. The moment it gets known to the public, there'd be a waitlist just to sit there. We walk next to each other on the way out of the school building. Not really known what to talk about i just decided to stay silent. Our silences are never awkward so thats positive.

The amounts of times we've gone to Bunny Bites, has become countless. Definitely a hidden gem, between our friend group. Taking the bus there doesn't need a lot of thinking, as it just goes automatically at this point.

As we're walking through the hallway, I wonder if we'd be able to spot Minnie's, 'hot' new boyfriend.

"Do you have any idea who Minnie's new boyfriend might be?" I ask looking at him. "Pfft, you really think I'd know?"

"Well I don't know maybe you know people who like saw them together or whatever.. it wouldn't be impossible you know" I say looking back at the ground. "What's she into?" He asks, making me look up at his face. "What?"

"like what does she look for in guys? maybe we can spot someone who fits her standards" he says waiting for my answer, looking around the hallway.

"Oh!.. Well, I don't know... old?" I answer him.

"OLD? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?" He says, very confused about what I just told him.

I laugh at him for not understanding the joke, his reactions can be priceless when he doesn't know what's going on. "Don't worry it's a joke" I reassure him.

"Dang I for real thought she wanted to get her love interests out of a retirement home or something" he says while holding the straightest face ever as if he's being really serious about this.

"A RETIREMENT HOME BYE~" I say not being able to hold in my laughter. "YEAH WELL HOW WOULD I KNOW?" He yells. I laugh so hard my knees give in and i somewhat fall to the ground. "Let's just get to the bus" i say wiping my tears of laughter, away from my face.

Jungkook opens the door to the exit of the school, holding it open for me. Swinging his arm to the opening, signing for me to go first.

"There you go 'm lady" he says. Bowing his head down a little, talking in a proper accent. "Why thank you, kind sir." I respond. Bending my leg a little, with the other one crossing behind it. Holding up my imaginary dress, as I also bow down my head.

The bus station is right outside the school, and is already waiting there. I sit down, at the window side of the bus. Holding my backpack on my lap, arms across the front of it. Jungkook sits next to me, on the aisle seat.

He grabs his phone and a set of earphones, out of the front pocket of his backpack. Then places the bag on the ground between his legs, before he offers me one earpiece. As I put the earphone in, he puts the other one in his. "What do you want to listen to?" Jungkook asks me, offering me the phone.

"You choose" I tell him, not wanting to take the time to come up with something i'd want to listen to. Omg no... I realize what he's put on as soon as I hear the first note. This man will not shut up about "Justin Bieber" and of course, he's put that on.

I sigh as I think to myself that I should've just chosen something myself, anything would've been better than Justin Bieber. "Give me that phone" I say holding out my hand, gesturing for him to give me the phone but he doesn't.

"No you told me to choose so... your bad" He says.

Oh my lord this man.

I just close my eyes, and rest my head on the window of the bus. Not registering any of the music that's blasting into my ear. I feel a tap on my knee and I open my eyes looking at jungkook. "We're here" he says with a soft smile.

I didn't even notice time pass as Jungkook rips the earphone from my ear and puts it in his backpack before standing up,

"Ow!" I exclaim, reaching for my ear with my hand. "Careful next time" he doesn't care, and just checks out. I stand up and follow him outside of the bus.

It's a small 2 minute walk, from the bus to the cafe. It's in this small alleyway, you could call it a shopping alley. It's small independent shops, owned by the people who live above the shop. They've decorated the street, with nice little lights and flowers.

Bunny bites in particular, has awning stripes in baby pink and white. The door and window frames, have also been painted in the same baby pink. The inside has been furnished with, whites and a light wooded color.

As you enter the cafe. You're expected to take your shoes off, and wash your hands. Then you go through the second door, and sit down. So we do just that.

The owners are nice, it's a mother with her daughter that takes care of the place. They make the best pastries, and breakfast meals. The place is fairly small, as it isn't really popular. There's about 4 tables, and a sofa.

"I think I'm gonna order the pancake with strawberries and chocolate" I say as I greet the cats. Jungkook says hi to the one of the cats aswell. "Imma get one too"

I haven't spotted my favorite cat yet. His names Coco, and he's the absolute sweetest. He's got white fur, with big dark brown spots, and some orange spots. A big fluffy calico cat.

We greet the elder woman, as she walks towards us. "What can I get you sweeties today?" She smiles.

"I'm craving one of your delicious Japanese pancakes, with banana and honey topping" Jungkook says, before the woman looks at me.

"For me a pancake aswell, but with strawberry and chocolate topping" standing up from the ground, sitting at one of the round tables.

"Sorry, could I ask where Coco is?" I ask the woman. "Ah he hasn't come to you yet?" She asks, and I shake my head.

"Hold on, I think he slipped upstairs" She turns around. Walks to the door that separates the cafe from their home, as she calls for him.

Not even 10 seconds later, he's walking through the doorway. As soon as Coco spots me, he's meowing like crazy sprinting at me. He jumps up on my lap, and reaches with his head for my cheek. I'm just as excited to see him, as he is to see me.

It's that my mother doesn't allow cats, otherwise I would've snatched this one away. "Why is it always you that gets the animals attention" Jungkook says, shaking his head playfully. "He just loves me I can't help it"

In the mean time, the woman's has started to make our pancakes. I'm not even that hungry, but I've always got room for some of her pancakes. "You should see if you could adopt him"

"I wish, mom wouldn't allow it tho" I answer between my baby talk to coco, as I pet his head. His little paws are stretched right underneath my collarbones, back legs stretched out on my thighs.

It doesn't take long for our food to arrive, serving us our pancakes and 2 smoothies. "It's on the house" She tells us. Both Jungkook and I tell her off.

"Ma'am we couldn't" He says. "Yeah no we'll pay for it, tip even. It's not a problem"

"You guys are young, save your money okay. Let me treat you this meal. You've came in regularly, and always been so nice. See this as a thank you" She smiles. Jungkook and I are silent, we don't know what to answer. She already returns to her kitchens, so I guess it's a free lunch.

I put Coco back on the ground, and grab my phone out of the pocket of my skirt. Our school was very thoughtful, while making these school uniforms. I have pockets in my skirt, the uniform isn't ugly either. I'm gonna be honest, I quite like my school uniform.

I open my phone as I see an incoming snap from Minnie. I open the picture she sent me but it's so blurry it takes time to actually realize what's been captured. I examine the picture thoroughly, and turn it around for Jungkook to see.

"Look Minnie sent me a snap, I think it happened on accident" I show him the picture and he's immediately invested in it. "That's totally some boys hair over there" he says as he points to the corner of the screen examining the picture as well.

"What?" I answer. I didn't see it. I couldn't make anything out of that picture for the life of me, but as I look closely at the top corner of the picture, I notice what Jungkook had just pointed out. and he is right.

"So he has black hair then!" I say excitedly looking up at him. "I'm telling you we'll find out who he is, we just gotta play detective carefully" He says.

"We'll see, I don't understand why she's not telling us like- it's not like I'll tell the whole school, I bet he isn't ugly either so nobody will make fun of her. I just don't understand" I tell him taking my food from the tray and placing it in front of me.

"You? Not telling the whole school?" He says doubtingly. "HEY! Don't do me like that I can keep a secret okay" I say in defense. "Sure whatever you say" he laughs. I ignore his comment and just start eating.

The pancake is to die for, I wish I could eat this every single day. She drizzles melted chocolate over the freshly cut strawberries, that are placed on top of the fluffy pancake. And it doesn't take long to finish it, either. By the time I'm completely done, I remember that I was supposed to tutor today.

Usually I tutor on Mondays, but since they won't be home they asked me to come a few days early. I hastily check the time to see it's 4.35pm already, I was supposed to be there at 5.

"Omg. Jungkook I'm so sorry gotta go, I'm gonna be late!" I say. I stand up from my chair and pet Coco one last time to say goodbye. Of course I thank the lady for our food, and kindness. "What? where?" he asks confused standing up as well.

"I have to tutor today but I forgot" How could I forget ugh my stupid brain. "Where is it ill take the bus with you"

"Ahh it's somewhere near Gongdeog station I gotta be there in 25" I say

"Don't worry well make it it's not too far from here" he says. He grabs his backpack aswell, thanks the lady just like I did. And just like that we rush out of the cafe.

It's getting on my nerves as I'm rushing late. it's nice of Jungkook to go with me, it takes my mind off of things a bit. I'm still stressed about the whole situation, how could I be so stupid to forget? Luckily we make it in time by just 1 minute.

"You really didn't have to come all the way to the front door with me Jungkook, thank you for coming with me tho" I say to him, out of breath from running from the bus stop to the front door. "It's fine don't worry about it yun" he says catching his breath.

"Quick go in, you'll be late" Gesturing for me to go up to the house. "Thanks again, I'll see you later" I say turning to the front door and ringing the doorbell.

I look behind me to see Jungkook has left already and look back to the front door as the child's mother opens the door.

"Hi sorry i'm late it won't happen again I promise" i apologize to his mother, as she kindly smiles at me.

"Oh don't worry about it. Jaewoo is running late as well, his dad is picking him up from taekwondo class" she says

"How about a cup of tea?" she asks letting me into her home.I take off my shoes, and hang my blazer and backpack on the coat hanger. Before I walk to the kitchen, where she's standing.

"Sure, tea sounds good! do you have lemon tea by chance?" I ask, as I sit down at the dining table.

"yes I do, how was school today?" she grabs two cups from the cabinet above her, and places them on the counter. turning on the kettle that's standing next to the stove. "Ah, it was okay I guess. I had a test today but i'm afraid i didn't do all too well." I tell her. Maybe as a tutor, I shouldn't be telling her I didn't do well on my test.

"I'm sure you did fine. Youre good in most subjects Nothing to worry about." She says. Filling the cups with hot water, and putting the bags in it. She places them on the table in front of me, returning to the kitchen to get some honey and sugar. She takes a seat opposite of me, wrapping her hands around her mug before she looks at me disappointed.

"He's been having problems at school again" she suddenly says. "What? again?"Jaewoo has his issues. He's not been getting good grades, and has been acting very aggressive towards his classmates. It might be the age i don't know.

He's just turned 12 years old, and his dad is pretty much out of the picture. He occasionally brings him to his taekwondo classes whenever his mother isn't up for it.

She's been having a rough patch, she's still holding up strong. she found out her husband was having an affair, and since then everything just fell apart. The only moment when Jaewoo isn't in a mood, is when he's with his father. but he doesn't want to take responsibility, and care for his son. Occationally he picks him up, but it's rare. Poor kid.

She sighs loudly.

"Yeah.. you know he looks for fights, this one was different. He usually just yells at some kid but, I don't know."

"What did he do? Did something bad happen?"

"He beat a kid up. The poor kid is in the hospital right now, checked up on. Luckily he seems to be doing well. What if Jaewoo is an actual danger to the kids of his school?" I feel worry all through my body. i might sound careless talking about Jaewoo, and i might not mention him a lot, but i really do care about him.

"ill take him to lotte world some day!" why did i suggest that..? i dont have the money to pay for that?! what did i get myself into.. "You'd do that? i think he'd love to! you know he loves you.."

I've been involved in their family for a while now, i used to babysit little Jaewoo and now im tutoring him atleast once a week. I'd say i know their family more than i know my own. "Yeah no ofcourse!" I tell her.

And just as i say that the door opens and slams shut loudly, until we hear heavy footsteps going to the first floor. "I'll go talk to him" i say. His mother is very chill, shes such a sweet woman. she just cares about him and his education a lot.

I stand up from my chair and walk upstairs, walking into his room without hesitating. "Oh my god Jaewoo, you'll never guess what happened at school today."

"what?" he says more than annoyed, not even looking at me. Sitting on his bed, back to the door. "So we had talent day right? and these two guys started dancing and singing infront of the whole school but then! omg no never mind.." i say laughing at my own made up story.

"what happened?" he says with a soft voice looking up at me. i sit down next to him on his bed, and continue my story. "Soo.. These two guys were performing right, dancing. haha it was so funny to see, But then! one of these dudes decides to do a cartwheel. which, he did it very badly. but as soon as he landed.. HIS TROUSERS FELL OFF" i tell him, laughing at my own imagination. Trying to get him to warm up too, which works.

He doesnt laugh but i can see the smallest smile forming on his lips. "Wanna tell me about your day?" i ask. The faint smile that i saw on his face, faded again. I can tell something is bothering him. he shruggs and looks away. now unable to see his face i sigh, putting a hand on his shoulder

"Come on.." i say with a soft smile.

"I got into a fight with someone today.." He says. i can tell hes disappointed just by the way he said it. ive known him for about his whole life, he feels like a little brother to me. i cant help but feel worried.

Because of my school and homework, i started to drift away from their family. before that, i used to be here nearly every day. Whenever i'd have issues in my own home, i'd be welcomed here with open arms. "What happened?" i ask, but he does not seem to open up. "i wont tell mum i promise" and thats the point where he breaks. He starts crying. I can't remember the last time ive seen him cry like that.

He turns around on his bed facing me, hands covering is face. I immediately go to wrap my arms around him. i feel bad, it hurts my heart to see him cry like that.

Theres no words coming out of his mouth, only the sound of him crying being audible. He's pressed against me, as i hug hi. resting my chin on his head. "I bet they were very stupid werent they?" and i can feel him nod as i ask that.

"I don't really want to talk about it." He said.

"That's fine Jae" I said, as I took his shoulders and moved him away from me. I wipe his tears away, as he looks up at me with his big puppy eyes.

"Cmon.. your mother expects us to do homework" I nudge my head to his doorway, gesturing for us to go downstairs. We both stand up, making sure his cheeks are dry and his eyes are normal again. We both know his mother will worry if she finds out he's crying, about what ever is happening. She didn't notice. I helped him with his maths and English, then had dinner at their place.

Jaewoo's mother, Eunso. Can cook like crazy, today she's made a once delicious japchae again. My mother doesn't really cook often, it was usually just me behind the stove. Past few years she's been trying to pick it up again, but she kinda sucks at it.

It's crazy to think, actually. In a normal household, the mother's cooking is what makes you feel like a kid even until your old age. It's what reminds you of her, of your childhood. It gives you this warm feeling inside, this piece of comfort. The comfort I get from Eunso, for example.

Though I love it here, every night has to come to an end. Can't stay over as much as I used too since we're all getting older. I don't blame her for it though! It's me dealing with my life, not her.

I walk out of the house, and check my phone.10.45 am. Actually kill me right now.

The ride home isn't that long, it's just uncomfortable. Late at night as a girl, on a bus. Lots can happen.

I wait for my bus and sit down as usual. get home 35 minutes later, and walk into my house.

My brother used to get mad at me, for staying out for that long. My mother has gotten used to it now, can't exactly say the same for my brother tho.

I walk in and mum is passed out on the couch as usual, tv still on.

I turn off the tv, immediately removing all noise from the apartment. Try to find a blanket in the dark, and put it over her.

Its quiet. I investigate the house, living room, kitchen, my brothers room. He's not home I think. I shouldn't let that worry me. He's older, he can do whatever he wants.

Take my makeup off and just decide it's best for me to rest. Too tired to do my skincare, properly. I grab the first moisturizer I could find, and just lather some on my face. Put on my pajamas, and get in bed.

"NINI!" I see as I check my phone. It's cold. I barely want to text, just because the cold is able to hit my arms like that.

The text is from Jia. She usually stays up late, so it doesn't surprise me that she's probably wide awake.

Me: What's up!!

Jia: GUESS WHAT!!

Me: WHAT HAPPENED!?

Jia: KAI JUST FOLLOWED ME !!!

Me: WHAT?! HOLD ON

I go to my own Instagram, seeing I had gotten a notification earlier this evening.I click on the heart formed button at the top, just to see the that most popular boy of school followed me.

@KimTaeH has followed you

Oh. My. God. Immediately I think to myself.

'What if Jimin followed Nabi aswell?'

Quickly clicking on the follow back button, I navigate to the search bar. Going to Nabi's account, onto her followers list. Lo and behold, Jimin indeed is the last person that followed her.

Cocktail crew

Me: GUYS GUYS. Me: THE BOYS FOLLOWED US!

Nabi: WHO???

Jia: CHECK YOUR INSTA GIRL

Me: NABS JIMIN FOLLOWED U!

Nabi: WJAT!?

Me: YEAH, TAEHYUNG FOLLOWED ME AND KAI FOLLOWED GIGI

Jia: He's so in love with me

Nabi: LOL SAME GIRL

Jia: I MEAN.. I CANT BLAME HIM IM IRRESISTIBLE

Me: TRUEEEE!!

Jia: Wait, Nini why are you still awake?

Nabi: yeah now that you mention it, it's late for your doing

Me: I got home like 20ish minutes ago.

Nabi: ah, that explains a lot

Minnie: HEY BABES!!

Me: MIN!!!

Jia: GIRL WEVE MISSED U

Nabi: MIN HRU 😏😏

Minnie: oh shut it nabs

Nabi: OH JUST TELL US ALREADY!!!!

Jia: Yeah min don't you think us, totally awesome, pretty and amazing, gorgeous girls deserve to know? 🥺🥺

Minnie: first of all, No. Second of all, Were going to a party 🤗

Jia: WHOSE??? WHEN??

You might say that Jia likes her parties, might.. Jia is probably the most unreal girl, I've ever met in my entire life.

Jia is gorgeous, outgoing, a social butterfly and.. to top it off, she started social media about 4 years ago.

Not in a normal way, posting a few tiktoks and sharing stuff on Instagram.

No.

Over the past 4 years, she's gathered around 4,7M followers on tiktok.2.3M on youtube and around 986K on instagram.

She's worked hard for it. posting high quality vlogs on YouTube, even if they didn't reach an audience. And it definitely payed off in the end.

I couldn't think of a better person to be in the position that she is in, one I know personally of course. I met her at school, when I was around 15.

I was In the bathroom, and had randomly gotten my period. Clearly panicked I ran out to, spot another girl. Jia just so happened to be there. Not having anything with her, she ran to the store and bought me some.

We exchanged numbers, since I didn't have many friends.

Jia and Nabi were kinda a package deal.

Been basically attached to the hip since birth. And Minnie?.. yeah, I don't know how she spawned in. I wouldn't trade them for any other friend group though.

Minnie: I think it's a party at the football teams house

Jia: .. when is this gonna.. take place?

Minnie: tomorrow!

Jia: I'm going to drag Nabi out of bed, to come and personally kill you min.

Me: oh oh

Nabi: I'd rather die than go to that party.. Nabi: okay no I'm kidding, I'm actually quite excited.

Jia: you're both coming over to Nabs and mine, im planning your outfits.

Minnie: do I have to?..

Jia: yes, this is your punishment for telling me this late. You know who's gonna be there!??

Minnie: yeah yeah I know, your future husband blah blah. what time do you want me there?

Jia: What time does it start?

Minnie: Like 10 there, at their house.

Jia: I'm expecting you guys at 6.30, love ya 🥰

Me: Night babes, see ya tomorrow🩷

And I close my phone, put it beside my on charge. I'm tired, my brother still hasn't come home so.. I don't really know if I should wait for him to come home or just sleep.

And as if the universe can hear my thoughts, I can hear the front door open. I rush out of bed to walk to the living room.

"Where have you been?" I say as he turns on the lights. His face is red and blue, blood running from his cheek. "Omg are you okay?!" I say instantly worried.

"I'm fine" he says sternly

I rush over to him, to inspect his wounds. He throws his jacket over the chair, that's right beside the sofa. We look over to mom, still fast asleep. Beer bottles gathered on the ground, he sighs. He walks past me towards the bathroom, and I follow. "Who did this" I say.

"No one"

"So what you just randomly got this" He grabs a towel, to clean up. I rip it out of his hands, wetting it before facing him. He doesn't answer me.

"Who did this" I ask again, raising my voice a little.

"NOBODY DID NAYUN" he yells. I flinch at his reaction. "Yoongi.."

"Sorry"

Now we’re both stay silent, he's come home beat up a few times before. Not enough for it to be regular, but enough for me to know how to take care of the injuries. And that's just what I do.

The cut on his cheek is pretty deep, using alcohol and butterfly bandaids to disinfect and plaster it. "Does it hurt?" He stays silent, so I just look at him.

"It's okay, thank you" is all he answers, before he walks past me and disappears in his room. I'm left with the clean up, I'm worried for him. I knock on his door. "Have you eaten yet" I say softly "Go to bed Nayun "

I feel sad, I care a lot for him. To see him physically hurt like that, hurts me too. And when I ask, all he does is shut me out. If I were to come home beaten up, he would not stop asking until he hears a name. Then leave and probably kill that person. But when I'm the one asking? I just get told to shut up.

Though I do listen, listen to his command.

Return to my own room, and call it a day.

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