#but just WAIT for the essay i'm going to re-write on this topic

[girlfox]

okay, so .. remind me to touch back on the old, old lore i've written for ahri in the past because i so want to revamp it for the way my portrayal has evolved over the years & the new canon lore she's been given over the years. i used to write short stories on her origins, before ahri ever had any━━and one included her feasting of an entire coastal village in one single slaughter, giving in to her gnawing hunger after denying herself for months in fear of becoming the monster she was slowly evolving into. ( surprise, rejecting your true nature will never end well ). & how she promptly entered a comatose state of fullness and shame, her body buckling under the weight of either, as her mind grappled with what she'd done and her body brimmed with a torrent of new memories and sensations not her own, experiencing each emotion anew like a whirlwind. it took such a toll on her that ahri careened into the forest and took respite inside of a shallow grotto, where she would promptly fall into an endless slumber, her dreams the memories of the hundreds she'd consumed. lasting many years, this grotto would eventually grow, and grow, and grow, nature over-taking it and consuming her, until it became what is known as the garden of forgetting━━a green sanctuary home to flowers that devour memories, nourishing themselves with them. although none knew of the conditions of her years long rest, it could easily be theorized that ahri's over-flowing power nurtured the roots of the garden, gifting them their abilities. only over a century later would ahri arise as a sleeping beauty, resolved to regain control of herself and master the power that had been swirling inside of her all this time, feeding her soul's fox bead.

[chwafl]

Original song... finished?!

I FINALLY finished writing the lyrics to my first original song. First, I commissioned the full instrumental using reference songs. Then, I tried to write the lyrics myself and asked for help from a songwriter, Rachael! She gave me tips on how to write a melody and... it was hard. I decided to just commission her to write me a topline. That was back near the end of last year. Now, finally, six months later, I'm done writing!

I was planning on finishing writing the song and release it in March of this year, but my time in Florida was more busy than I thought and instead of focusing on writing, I ended up doing two performances and having a lot of fun with my family. Not a bad trade off lol. Since returning back to Korea in March, I tried working on the song, but it was hard to really feel comfortable pinpointing what exactly I wanted to say in the song, and how exactly I wanted to say it. I wanted to do a song with somewhat of a double meaning, but I also didn't want my message to be unclear. BUT, I also didn't want it to be too literal. Hmm, what to do?

Rachael advised me to journal out all the thoughts I had on the topics I wanted to cover in the song. So, I did that and ended up with a three page essay with all the thoughts I wanted to convey, woah LOL. I tweeted about this and shoutout to Phoebe for suggesting that I could use that whole essay for a concept ep/album... perhaps that will happen >:3c The biggest hurdle with writing the lyrics was allowing myself to be vulnerable. I think the song is a somewhat emotional song, but not the kind that's very sad and makes you wanna cry. There are some melancholic parts, I guess? But my aim is to be uplifting and inspirational and maybe even sound... a little bossy? LOL.

See, it's one thing to write out how you feel about something and share it online. It's another thing to sit in front of a camera and speak out loud about how you feel and share it online. But now, this new concept of SINGING how I feel was making me feel super shy. Because not only are people going to judge the actual words of the lyrics, but also, the way it's sung, the way I look singing it, and the way everything sounds with the instrumental. Is it gonna be corny? Is it gonna be cringe? Is it gonna seem fake? Ultimately, these worries were due to my lack of confidence in songwriting. The only original song I ever wrote was a rap to one of the sonic the hedgehog computer game ost instrumentals about... a one piece character.... in 5th grade? LOL. Actually wait, I did also write one more original song... about a mysterious bathroom asian man when I was 18 at my first anime convention... if you know about that song, YOU ARE A REAL ONE HAHA. I've written parody rap songs in high school for my tv production class (and dare I say, got moderately famous at school because of it, let's just be honest here.)

Once I started getting the hang of condensing my thoughts into simple sentences and then re-wording the sentences to match the flow of the top-line, it took me only a few days to finally have the full lyrics completed.

There are a lot of lyrics. The song is very wordy, but I have a lot to say. guess I'm a "yapper." As I sing the song to practice before going to the rental room and record the vocals seriously for mixing, I feel more and more confident and excited to share the finished product with everyone. Sure, there are definitely going to be people who won't like the song, but even if people don't like the song, the effort I put into this is undeniable. If people can't respect me for that then they're just a haterrrr~ Now that I gained some confidence with crossing off one of the most daunting tasks of this original song checklist, I feel so inspired to make more songs and get better at this. I already have... a lot planned >:3c My life has felt so messy for the past few months, but suddently, now that I finished the song, my focus has become super clear and I feel really good about preparing for the release of it along with the aforementioned song ideas (^____^)/// So, Staring in July, I will be super super active online revealing other new things I've been working on, still.... getting my vlog channel up to date lol, and creating a countdown for the song release day.

Before I finish writing this, I want to close on a really personal note. So many have known that I've done idol live covers at cons and events since 2013. I started off as just doing dancing whenever I got the chance to get on the stage at conventions, and then I started singing in 2016 solo and with my group, Citrus Idol Project. At the time, idol stuff was not popular in Florida. There were a few people who got excited to see us/me, but idol events including original concept performers were rare unless I was the one behind organizing things. It wasn't until 2019 when holmat started including kaigai idol groups at the idol fest. After 2020, there has been a huge increase in idol events at conventions and more and more people are understanding the concept of idol, and words like "kaigai idol" and "overseas idol" are a little more well-known amongst the convention sphere. But what also changed since 2020? Me getting a job in Korea LOL. I can't deny that it had felt frustrating finally seeing idol things take off a little more in Florida while I'm not there. I tried to hold onto things by hosting my own events during my vacation, but even then, it seemed like not many people still didn't really know me or were interested in me specifically because, well, I'm not around anymore to introduce myself to people and prove myself to people.

Those feelings inspired me to finally make the jump and work on original music. The idea of making original music had been festering inside of me since 2015, for nearly 10 years, but I just didn't feel like I had a solid enough idea of who I am, what do I want to convey, and what is my goal. After turning 30, I finally have an answer to all of those questions, and while living abroad, I realized that the world is so huge and I can't get hung up on wondering if I'm still relevant in the community I had a big part in starting back home.

My colleages (lol I know it sounds so extra to say that) have gotten a lot bigger stage opporunities than me despite us starting activities at the same time. It made me feel like something was wrong with me. But no, that's not the problem. The problem is that I I haven't been expressing myself to my full potential. I think the reason why I haven't gotten very far is because I'm meant to keep on going, and pushing myself more creatively to really dig into the more authentic side of me that can't be fully expressed through covers. That authentic creative side of me can't be expressed through live performances alone.

So even though I did my first solo idol singing performance in 2016, I don't feel like things have truly begun until now. When I realease this original song and subsequent original music, that will be the real beginning.

[usamamoweek]

Meet the Creators - Kaito Scarlett

What username(s) and platform(s) can folx find you on? (Please include links!)

Kaito Scarlett on FFnet, Ao3 and Tumblr (@kaitoscarlett) :)

(Fun Fact) What is your favorite kind of potato?

Tough question! I can't live without potatoes <3 Hm...I'd say the usual ones as fries or chips. Preferably spicy and crispy. I could write an essay, but I'll just leave it like that.

How long have you been creating works in fandom spaces? How long have you been active in the SM fandom?

Hm... When I was younger I drew pictures of my favorite characters, but just for myself. Does that count? But I posted my first (still unfinished) Sailor Moon fic in July 2021. It's actually the first fan fiction I have ever written and I never thought I would write one myself. But here I am :)

What type(s) of creative works do you usually make? (fanfics, digital art, cosplay)

Fanfics, but I do occasionally draw.

What do you enjoy about creating for the SM fandom?

Another tough question! Maybe because I still love the characters and while I re-read and re-watched the manga and anime as a grown-up, I kind of felt a connection to especially Usagi, that was very different from when I was a kid. And Sailor Moon will always a have a special place in my heart. It's so cool to see so many other creators who feel the same and get inspired to create wonderful stories and art.

Are you strictly UsaMamo or do you create for other pairings as well?

For now, yes I am. And I don't think it's going to change. I'm a sucker for their relationship (:

What inspires you to create works for Usagi and Mamoru?

It all started, because I dove back into fan fiction after rewatching the anime and I just couldn't get enough. So I scrolled through fan fiction and became a little bit obsessed with so many great stories. Especially the ones in which the characters are grown-up. I've often thought about writing myself, but starting to write is kind of hard. I get inspired when I read other stories or an idea suddenly enters my mind.

But lately life has been quite stressful and I lost my writing groove. We'll see when I get it back.

Do you tend to work on multiple projects (WIPs) simultaneously or try to finish one at a time?

Since I have three unfinished fics at the moment, I'd say I work on multiple projects simultaneously. But I try to concentrate on one at a time. That's why I haven't updated my first fic for over a year.

Do you prefer large projects (chaptered fics, webtoons/zines, highly detailed art) or small projects (one-shots or simple art)?

Hm...I do like to read multi-chapter fics or a long one-shot. I enjoy the excitement of waiting for a new chapter. As for writing myself. I haven't written a one-shot, yet. So I'd say I prefer larger projects. That way I can write a shorter chapter and publish it instead of writing one long story, that I would probably never see the light of day, because I'm a lazy writer.

Are there any common themes, situations, tropes, or mediums in your work?

Maybe a bit of angst? Self-worth is a big topic, I would say. Struggles with adulthood? But I havent't analyzed my fics enough to say there are common themes. Though I'd say the start situation of our beloved couple in my fics is mostly the same/ very similar.

Is there anything you haven’t explored artistically and would like to try?

I want to draw more. And write a fake-dating-trope-story. Nothing else comes to my mind right now :)

[thd-studies]

Dear 3Ls, I know it may seem early to talk about the Bar Exam. And it is. Still, I want to share advice with you while the experience is fresh. For context, I took the VA Bar Exam and studied using Themis while working part-time at a demanding firm. I studied between 6 and 10 hrs. per day, including weekends. So keep that context in mind. What worked for me might not work for you, but here is some knowledge I wish I had when I started, as someone who was strapped for time.

1. Start ASAP. I mean the week of law school graduation or immediately after. If you're using a bar prep service, getting started early will give a nice 2-3 week cushion to improve weaknesses after you've completed the course. It also gives you a little room to procrastinate, but you didn't hear that from me.

2. Do not be a completionist (unless you need to work on test-taking skills). When you've completed 80+ percent or more of your commercial prep course, seriously evaluate whether sticking to a guided study schedule will help you get points on the exam. If you're on a role with consistently applying good essay writing and multiple choice strategies, it may be better to focus on fixing residual confusion about the law. Only you know what you need to work on at the finish line, not Themis.

The VA Bar Exam tested on several rules I only learned last minute because I abandoned Themis at a certain point to focus on understanding topics I had sincerely wished would not get tested (creditor's rights).

3. Do real practice on day one. The only way to slay this monster test is to do it. I'm not saying simulate real test-taking conditions (ramp up to that), but don't wait until after you've reviewed the many testable subjects to do real questions. In the beginning, focus on the mechanics of writing answers and issue spotting dense MBE fact patterns. Write early essays with your outline open, and take your sweet time on the MBE questions. Understanding and memorizing the law will come with repetition, but approaching questions must become second nature ASAP.

4. Do not be passive. I'm looking at you "busy work" law students who spend all day in the library color coding your notes without ever getting that darn outline done (guilty). You can spend hours watching lecture videos, making flashcards, and doing practice MBEQs. But that does little if you have a passive approach to studying. If you find you aren't actively engaged, pause the lecture to re-center and refocus, otherwise you are wasting your precious precious time. If you aren't devouring every MBEQ explanation, whether you get the question right or not, then start doing it. Don't complete tasks just to see that percentage go up.

5. Get used to fatigue. On test day, you will not have your earbuds in or second browser open on your favorite place to doom scroll. Especially toward the end of your studies, deal with fatigue in a manner that would be allowed at the test. Stand up and stretch, take a short walk around the library, get a sip of water. The exam feels like an eternity and you will hit the fatigue wall, but you can brace yourself if you practice realistic coping strategies.

Retakers, I see you too. Those two days don’t define you or your worth. Keep your chin up and beat this thing!

[krakenartificer]

One of the things that I find hardest to do, that turns out to be textbook ADHD, is figuring out how to get started on a project

(I say, after having procrastinated on writing this, for the last 4 hours. Actually, I have no idea how long I've been procrastinating - I have timeblindness. But I did post a Facebook comment right before I tried to start for the first time, so I can check that. goes to check facebook ohno.jpg) (Two hours. It was 2 hours.)

That overhead/activation cost is so high, I desperately want to finish every project all in one go, in one sprint, rather than have to pay it twice. "Slow and steady wins the race," they say; "Just break it down in to steps and do a little bit every day," they say; and I cannot tell you how many times I have tried to make that work, but just doesn't. Paying the startup cost for 10 minutes of work isn't worth it, and deep down I know that, and won't let myself do something so extravagantly wasteful of spoons. That's not me being immature or unwilling to work -- that's me making an accurate and intelligent assessment of tactical realities.

And yet the fact remains that almost nothing worth doing can be done all in one sprint with no breaks, and that forcing myself to try is detrimental to both my mental and physical health, and therefore I do need to learn how to shut down a project and then start it up again. This is not a complete list, by any means, but it's the best method I've found so far. The specific solutions may or may not work for you, but hopefully it'll give you some ideas on how to start designing your own methods.

My problems with starting my work fall into three broad categories: 1) reticulating splines 2) remembering what's happened, and what's supposed to be happening 3) translating knowledge into action

1) Reticulating Splines

"Reticulating Splines" is a concept I stole from Luna Corbden. They explain it in detail at [link], but the way I always think of it is that my brain only loads in high-res. There is no "just a quick overview" or "don't get into the weeds" for me -- you are getting every piece of information related to this topic, and every relationship between all those pieces of information, or nothing. And as we all know from waiting on high-res videos to buffer, that takes FOREVER.

Now that's not inherently a good or a bad thing.

Once that network map has loaded

I am amazing at pulling up details other people have missed: my map isn't fuzzy and pixelated.

I am spectacularly good at spotting edge cases and unexpected consequences: I'm looking at the entire project and all its interrelationships at the same time.

I am incredibly good at following other people's trains of thought even when they're communicating badly: I know every possible path between two statements, so when someone says they're related, I can back-trace what their route from A to B must have been.

I am a much better developer, a much better tutor, and a much better manager because of this capability, as long as you give me time to get the splines reticulated.

But it does mean that there's no such thing as a "quick question" for me. Imagine if every time you went to Wikipedia, it had to load every single Wikipedia entry in your web browser before it would show you the page you asked for -- that's what talking to me is like if you spring a conversation on me without warning.

It follows, then, that there's no such thing as a "quick code change" or a "quick edit" or (my apologies to all the ADHD peeps struggling to get through this essay) a "quick explanation". This is how the world exists in my head, with all these interconnected parts, and I don't know how to give you only part of it. If you want me to change the code to write to a different table, or to change my terminology, I have to load the entire program, or the entire essay, into my brain, then make the change, then shut it all down again, before I can move onto the next thing.

So that's problem number one: every time I stop working on something, and then try to start up again, I have to re-load the entirety of the project into my brain again.

So the first thing about starting projects is to

be compassionate with yourself while things are buffering.

You're not stupid for needing to take your time to review, and you're not wasting time scrolling back and forth and clicking between pages and re-reading things in an order that you could never explain to someone else, and you're not trapped in some failed-functioning dissociative circle of hell. You're buffering, and the extra time it takes you to load this data structure is proportional to your ability to do things with it once it's loaded. That's just how it works.

The other thing is to externalize the splines as much as possible. Which gets us into

2) Memory (working and otherwise)

Look, we all know how ADHD affects memory, I don't think I need to go into a lot of detail here.

So that's problem number two: every time I stop working on something, I completely forget wtf I was doing.

Which means that you shouldn't rely on your memory.

WRITE THINGS DOWN

I don't care if everyone around you thinks that this is easy to remember. I don't care if you understand it all perfectly right now and can't imagine ever needing a reminder of how it works. Your vision of perfect clarity is because the splines are reticulated; as soon as you switch gears, that vision is going to fade into nothingness and you will be left with only a distant fuzzy memory of the galaxy-brain comprehension you once had, unless you WRITE. IT. DOWN.

For projects, specifically, there are two things I find very important to write down:

A) the overall flow of the project: what the steps and the sub-steps are, how they fit together, what order they should be done in, and how to tell if they've been completed or not. (My system for this is described at length here [x])

B) What the current status of the project is right now.

Where am I in the overall flow of the project? What step am I currently working on? What is stopping it from being completed? As with writing down the overall flow of the project, remember that these notes are for you, not for anyone else: they only have to make sense to future!you. Don't write them down in a way that you would write a memo to your boss, or an way your English teacher would approve of -- write them down in a way that makes sense to you.

A sample of the types of notes I have left myself:

For reasons I cannot begin to explain, the enrichment template and the enrichment block strings that existed in the repo this morning bear absolutely no resemblance to the enrichment query that is currently running prod, and I cannot find any place that the correct templates and strings have ever existed. So .... idk, tbh. I can't explain it. But I can fix it. So. I have copied the query from a prod run in EMR, and pasted it into the templates, and submitted that as an MR. I also changed the block_strings in Rosetta. With those two changes, we end up with something that looks like what's in prod, even if it's not in Master. So can I proceed? Are we good? I don't know -- my brain is too tired and dumb to figure out how to tell that.

It's been running all week, but not actually providing any data, because apparently mvno_accounts hasn't been updating its metadata. So I MSK REPAIRED and that fixed the problem. I added an MSCK REPAIR to the code, and hopefully that fixes the problem. I still need to backfill everything between run_date=2021-08-10 and run_date=2021-08-17

Says it has partitions [screenshot] Says it doesn't have data [screenshot] S3 says the partitions have no data [screenshot] So that's nice, I guess. How do I get the damn thing to write?

It gives me a completely useless error each time, each time on a different query, and I have no FUCKING clue what the FUCK it wants. So it can just FUCKING FUCK OFF. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE

Things to note from these examples:

You are not being graded on grammar / spelling / punctuation. As long as the punctuation enhances your ability to understand the sentence, it's correct.

It's largely a snapshot of MY internal state, not the state of the project. In contrast to everything western-supremacist culture tells you about suppressing your feelings, emotions [x] make [x] memories [x] stronger. That last one may not look like much of a hint, but when I got into work the next day, I read that, and I knew exactly what I had to do in order to continue work on the project.

Also please note that I have been using this system for a while, and I've gotten pretty good at guessing what future!me is going to need. You'll get better with practice. Just keep swimming, and be kind to yourself

And then also write down ...

3) Translating knowledge into action

As Russell Barkley says, "You've got a real problem on your hands. Cuz you can know stuff, and you won't do stuff." [x] The ADHD brain (apparently, I'm not a neuroscientist, I'm just trusting this neuroscientist) has a gap, or a wall, between knowledge and performance.

That is to say .... apparently most people .... if they know what needs to happen .... that means they can just .... do it??? Like, that's enough?? IDK, it sounds crazy to me, but I'm trying to respect that neurotypicals are the experts on their own experiences

I mentioned this in my stimulus-setup post [x], but putting "I need to decide which window to put this fan in" doesn't do a damn thing for me. I KNOW I need to figure out which window to put it in; the step after that is measuring the window, and I can't bloody measure the window if I don't know which window I'm measuring, can I? That much is obvious; any idiot could figure THAT out. But how do I figure that out??

So that's problem number three: every time I stop working on a project, I've lost the momentum, and I can spin my wheels for hours trying to find enough traction to translate knowledge into action again.

The most common way to try to compensate for this problem is to just try to remember this information until I get back to the project, but that leads to so many other problems. I have to keep checking myself: do I still remember? What was that list? Run over it again? It's hypervigilance, and it causes all kinds of health problems, and it makes for shitty doing-work-while-I-sleep dreams, and it's also a terrible way to live. And also, even if I succeed, it means I'm keeping the damn thing in working memory, which I already don't have enough of.

No, what I need to write down, as the last line in that note I'm leaving for myself, is the actual next thing that needs doing. "Check which window better fits the fan." That's actionable. That's a clear instruction -- especially if I've already left myself a note about which two windows are the final candidates, and where the fan is. That takes the goal and turns it into a thing that can be done.

A sample of the types of notes I have left myself:

open ~/Documents/Rosetta\ Docmentation.docx

Pull a chair up to the loom, and start re-stringing.

Find the damn manuscript

Go through the pattern and ID (and outline in bold) sections that could be sewn together with all one piece of yarn

Things to note from these examples:

Some of these steps are really really simple. Yes, in fact, I did indeed get hung up -- not on the incredibly gumption-draining process of re-stringing a loom, no -- I got hung up on the fact that we don't keep a chair next to the loom. If I pulled a chair up, I could do the rest of the project. I refuse to be ashamed of this. Neurotypicals suck at stuff I'm amazing at, and I suck at stuff they take for granted. If I write down "pull up a chair", the work gets done. That's what works for me. So I do it. Remember that you can't edit the manuscript until you find it. Write out the full path to the file; start your instruction with "go to the garage" ... do whatever it takes to make it actionable for you

for computer work, see if your OS gives you a way to make the computer do some of this work. In Linux and macOS, open is a valid command, which means I don't even have to remember how to open a document: I can just copy-paste open ~/Documents/Rosetta\ Docmentation.docx into terminal, and the document I need will magically appear on my screen.

Because I already have notes on the overall flow (see step 2), I don't have to have a lot of details or context in these notes. I don't have to specify where "the pattern" is, because the project notes already have a link to the pattern for this project.

Actionable Takeaways:

Before you start work on something:

Figure out what needs to be done for this project and how all the pieces will fit together (Detailed post on that at [link]) into one big project operation

Write that operation down

Before you stop work on something:

Write down anything you're keeping in working memory in order to be doing the work you're doing

Write down your current emotional state / inner dialogue

Write down the simplest, clearest instruction you can on what actual action you need to do to proceed.

[writingthingiguess]

Blog for class

I have been tasked with writing a blog for my writing class, as such I have no idea what to write. How exactly does one write a blog? Is there some set way for things to be laid out? am I supposed to follow the lax teaching of the hit Disney show dog with a blog? the one I watched when I was sick in bed and was honestly atrocious. I'm just going to do what I tend to do whenever I talk to someone else. Ramble.

I always seem to be able to find a topic of conversation, something I'm passionate about and then rant for days. I think its just the way my brain is wired, I love listening to other people rant as well, its like “hello I have opinions” “no way me too!” I sometimes fear my friends are sick of me when I talk, but they assure me its not true, sometimes though when they hear about my opinion of certain characters in books or shows I love they sink into their chairs and wait for me to finish, content to just listen. Man I love my friends.

I used to, and still do, get worked up over the Artemis Fowl books for instance, my favourite character in those books is called Minerva. She’s smart and funny and amazing, she is also never mentioned again after the one book she appears in. according to the author you cant have two super geniuses in a series and make it work but I think he's just a coward. As my friends will tell you, I always talk about how upset I was he didn't even try, he could have made Minerva, Artemis’ rival of some sort, make her more socially capable then Artemis, make her story be what Artemis missed during the time he was stuck in a suspended state (the books are a bit odd ok?). I'm very firmly of the opinion the books went down hill after that one, or even during that book, but I love that book because of Minerva so I ignored the story failing. I cant really read the rest of the books anymore. The implied romance between holly, an adult woman (who is also a fairy but that isn't relevant for my point) who is implied to be around the human equivalent of thirty and Artemis, who in the first book is TWELVE and in the last book, is an unknown age because time travel is a bitch but also STILL VERY MUCH NOT AN ADULT, at least compared to holly. Sure the romance is never explicitly stated but everyone knows what the author was implying and its gross. 

Anyways, enough about my weird obsession with a French girl who called a deadly mercenary a loser (my god I love Minerva) I've always loved books intended for a younger audience, I feel like they are so much less restrictive, like you are so much more likely to find a book about a friendly dragon, who cant breath fire because of an injury who wants to help the main character find his sister in the children's section then in the adults section, they are always so creative. Something I have noticed is a vast majority of books aimed at adults are either romance heavy or violence heavy, which if that's your taste that's fine, people come in different shape and sizes with different interests and who am I to judge? I'm in the middle of a re-watch of ever after high, a kids show made to sell dolls that got cancelled when Disney's descendants came out. But I feel that neither romance or extreme violence is necessary for an interesting story. My favourite series of books is ‘a series of unfortunate events’ by Lemony Snicket, a fake author who's story is surrounded with unanswered questions and mystery. The books are about misery. That's it, it is three miserable children who get in to outlandish situations, and every single one ends in tragedy. But its fun to read, the author is witty and funny at just the right moments and morose and morning at others. Hell I even wrote an essay on this fake author for a class at my university. My point is the books are sad, depressing even. My mother couldn't finish them even though she recommended them to me. There is legitimate emotion in those pages, and its a kids series. I was around ten years old when I started reading them, and those books still bring out a more emotional reaction in me then any death scene in a book aimed for a more mature audience. Anyways where was i going with this? Books aimed for children are good, i had an obsession with Percy Jackson again recently and casting just came out and, i don't think kids books should be undervalued as literature just because they are kids books. whew , sorry about that i start writing then i get out of hand. I read out my opinions on love triangles to the class today. I have a weird amount  of opinions of love triangles. Anyways adios, I have decided this blog is just a rant i get to force my classmates to read. Y’all I'm sorry, but also suffer.

[hobidreams]

Hahaha fluff or angst I cant wait! Yeah it was a good time to learn what was going on so reading up and signing petitions seemed like a good idea (and telling my parents the news is lying to them🤷🏻‍♀️) Oh have you decided what you're going to do your thesis on? I remember the hardest part for my college thesis was my topic bc my prof kept asking for something new 🙄 You remember 🥺🥺 I'm still studying bc covid is still really bad where I live so it might be a few months before I write haha

+ Something seems to be wrong with Tumblr I was rereading a bunch of stories and I SWEAR I've liked them before like the early shift! I've sent asks in about them too! And it's just there unliked :o Anyways just going through your master list again don't mind me :D

yes!! it was a good opportunity to educate myself. sigh, i feel that. i’ve been trying to talk to my parents about it but my dad is ridiculously stubborn so it’s just been a headache. but my mom is understanding the importance of it all so i’m glad i’m getting somewhere. 

yes! i have!! i’m doing my thesis on an 18th century british play, Tragedy of Tragedies. there is literally like 2 other essays written on this so pretty much anything i write is new LMAO. woooooo. 

okay!! you got this 🥺🥺 i know ur gonna do so well. are they not offering it online? i know some places were doing the LSAT online so i assumed they were doing similarly for other big tests. but its obviously better to write in person. best of luck babe!

FDASLK its okay tumblr is always messing up some way or another hahah. it’s always nice to see you in my notifs so dw i smiled big :D. it always shakes me that ppl come back to re-read & then i get nervous that my mistakes become glaring with repeated glances LMAOOO. but i hope you enjoyed 💞💞

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

I'm looking through your TPATH tag and honestly I feel so conflicted with the way you went from loving Tom & Mike to (low key? high key?) hating them, I love the entire band so much but at the same time I'm wondering if I shouldn't 😂

Oh no…anon, I feel so bad now. (And I especially wish you hadn’t sent this to me over anon ‘cause this is something I would 100% want to talk to someone personally about. 😭 NOT THAT YOU NEED TO FEEL BAD FOR BEING SHY OR SOMETHING, THIS IS JUST SUCH A BIG TOPIC TO ME THAT I’D WANT TO EXPLAIN PERSONALLY TO YOU.)

Because of that I’m not going to go into anything too deep except to plug the value of critical thinking (sorry if I’m obnoxious about that. Except wait, I’m not sorry about it because IT’S FUCKING IMPORTANT!): for one thing, just because I feel a certain way personally about the band doesn’t mean you need to feel the same way. Second, it actually required critical thinking for me to realize why Tom (excluding Mike mostly - as I said I wish I could speak with you about this personally) was not all that and a bag of chips, and it 100% involved reading between the lines. Especially considering he was a writer - that’s even more important. 😂 I’ve said before that the main way to attempt this is, besides in consideration of his music and even his music videos is anyone ever going to write an essay analyzing “Mary Jane’s Last Dance” or am I going to have to do it, by reading Petty: The Biography which came out in 2015, and then read the first TP biography, Conversations with Tom Petty by Paul Zollo, that was published in 2005/2006 (I think I have the 2006 version which is only significant as far as in reading about Tom’s thoughts RE: his success as well as his then-most recent solo album). I’m going to feel like a broken record by explaining why that’s important, but if you look at the timeline there and think critically, I hope then you’d be able to understand so I don’t have to repeat myself. 😌

But what I will repeat no matter, every single time, is that THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THE MUSIC. YOU DON’T HAVE TO LOVE THE BAND MEMBERS IN ORDER TO LOVE WITH YOUR ENTIRE HEART THE MUSIC THAT THEY CREATE. Respecting them for the music they created is one thing, and it IS what I have THE UTMOST respect for concerning the entire band. (And if it seems like I don’t seem to do that where certain people - Mike or maybe Tom - are concerned, consider this: Tom is still my songwriter hero. Just because I feel adverse toward him doesn’t mean I don’t respect his talent and skills, because TRUST ME, I DO!!! I HAVE AND I ALWAYS WILL! And as for Mike, well, I just get flustered by how talented he is and I think it’s unfair that anybody can even be that talented. LMAO)

I tell people that my favorite BAND is Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers because otherwise everyone assumes I love TP and I do NOT want anyone thinking that - because those are my feelings toward him AND BECAUSE I TRULY, LITERALLY DO LOVE THE BAND’S MUSIC WITH MY SOUL and I want people to understand that. No matter whether people think TP was “a great guy,” what matters to me is emphasizing that the band’s MUSIC is the most important thing - period, but especially to me. And that is my prerogative. But it in no way has to be yours. YOU choose how you feel about them, and if, at any point, your feelings start to change, whether that be in a positive or negative way? just know that I’ll support you. Because, again, the main thing is to think critically, and if your feelings change in some way, that’s usually because of critical thinking. Or because you get tired/bored of them, OR because you become even more obsessed with them. Whatever! I will support whatever experience you have with your fandom because I don’t have the time much less the DESIRE to police the nature of anybody’s fandom. (So don’t worry about that. ♥) It’s YOUR experience, and you don’t need to apologize to anybody for it.

Anyway, I feel like I just preached a lot. Sorry. LOL But this is something I’ve low-key dreaded ever since I started seriously voicing my opinions about the band on here, especially with opinions that go pretty hard against the status quo as a TPATH fan or just as a casual fan. I hope it all made sense even if it’s…a lot and some of it’s kind of vague sORRY. As I said in the beginning - if you don’t mind talking personally to me about it, please feel free to message me. Because no matter MY feelings about the band, I ALWAYS enjoy the chance to talk about their music. :’)

[spicydadshowdown]

Edit: 1/24/19 Re-worded some stuff around and added some new ideas. Note to future self: if you want to write a goddamn essay about a cartoon you dont even watch consistently use the computer instead so you can actually see what you're writing. Itll prevent you from screwing up the sentence flow. 😘

Tbh I dont even go to RWBY class anymore, but I saw some spoilers and that Tweet about Adam being allergic to Blake and Yangs love has me like... Oof, where do I even begin to unpack my annoyance for this. Warning: this is going to be ranty because I feel a certain type of way about this topic.

1. I really fucking hate this trend that seems to be starting where showrunners are pairing off female characters who never had romantic interest in each other nor do they have any good chemistry together (even on a basic friendship level) and try to pretend like it was something planned since the beginning. Worst of all, they try to pass that shit off as bisexual representation. And as a bisexual woman I'm like lmao sure dude, my Bidar can see through that bullshit clear as fucking day mate, lol. Its extremely lazy and it makes it obvious that they only go this route so they can get Progressive Points to stave off any negativity their show's been getting. Because for some reason people want to settle for below mediocrity representation instead of... ya know, something that's actually good. And it makes me uncomfortable that people are using my sexuality as this quick-fix for their shows missteps so.... lol.

2. ANYWAYS Okay so... something that's always bothered me about Blake and Adam's dynamic is that... it's actually romantic?? They were in a relationship?? Which grosses me out to no end and I'm not sure why it had to be this way? Why is Adam an abusive psychopath? It's especially disturbing to me because Adam is leading a resistance against his peoples oppressors. Like the dude was a slave, he straight up has a BRAND on his face for fucks sake! Why would anyone think it was a good idea to make this kind of character an abusive monster? Like thanks! I hate it :)! (E) I completely forgot the age difference between them omg... they legit made him an ephebophile…🤢

Honestly RWBY could be stronger over-all if you change Adam's relationship with Blake from ex-boyfriend to a mentor/big brother type of deal. I know Blake and Adam are based off of Disneys Beauty and the Beast, but see the thing is you dont have to make it romantic. You just have to carry over the themes from the movie and expand upon them.

1. external monstrosity vs internal monstrosity; what makes a person truly monstrous.

2. Looking past the superficial to see someone for who they really are.

3. Two people find solace with each other after they've been othered by society for possessing certain characteristics deemed as abnormal.

Boom, there you go! Run with it!

Although tbh the last one will be difficult, if not impossible, to write because Blake comes from a privileged background. She's the daughter of a chieftain and grew up in the White Fang, who were originally a bunch of peaceful protesters. So her upbringing is going to be much more stable than Adam's was. If you want to make this work you're probably better off just rewriting Blake's entire backstory.

Now that I think about it I think the reason why Adam is... Like That is because he's supposed to be Gaston and The Beast mixed in one package? Maybe? He has The Beasts anger issues mixed with Gaston's creepy and obsessive behaviour towards Belle. Which is a very odd decision to make and to be honest I'm not sure if this was intentional or not (most likely not lol). Was it to show Adam's transition from The Beast to Gaston? But that doesn't work because The Beast and Gaston represent different ideologies. Maybe it's not even that deep, maybe it was just to show that people who've been abused can become abusers. Which is a fine concept and all but it didn't need to be applied to a former slave turned revolutionary leader.

I'm not saying Adam has to be completely devoid of any flaws, the anger he feels towards humanity is realistic and justified. When you've been dehumanized by a certain group of people, you are going to vehemently hate said group. This kind of hatred can consume you to the point where any malicious action you take is seen as justified. Cuz you know, why should you care about them when they've never given a shit about you? (A good example of this is in the Black trailer where he was going to blow up the train, completely disregarding the lives of the human passengers aboard it.)

[REDACTED]

Aight so when I was laying in bed, waiting for the sweet embrace of Rest to take me, I had the thought: “How fucked up would it be if after Blake defeated Adam, instead of being held a trial and sent to prison he was sent back to the S.D.C?” and I legit made this face:

I guess that activated my galaxy brain/ third eye chakra or whatever, because suddenly my mind was bombarded with a bunch of ideas and I legit could not bring myself to Sleep unless I got the ideas out lmao. But I think I'll make another post bc this shit is a long ramble sleep deprived mess. So lmao see you next time.

[arcistudies]

Coffee Shop {F e l i x} Chapter 1:

It's another normal day for me. I hurriedly fixed my things and got out of the dorm.

I have so much school works to do and my neighbours being noisy aren't just helping me to concentrate. So, I decided to go to the nearest coffee (-my favorite one) and finish the rest of my school works that are due in 2 days.

Before going to my usual spot, I ordered a large mocha frappe and slice of chocolate cake. Chocolate never fails to make me happy especially when I'm stressed.

As soon as I got my order, I started writing down the essay and some notes that I missed on the powerpoint presentation. The ambiance of this place really helps me to concentrate in studying and even though they have a lot of customers, it's still really quiet.

To my surprise, an unfamiliar face walked inside the coffee shop and as he looked around, he met my gaze. I shrugged off what happened and decided to go back to what I was doing.

"Goodmorning! Is it okay if I sit here?"

I was surprised, when the guy who went inside awhile ago, actually talked to me. I looked around and the seat on my table was the only one left vacant.

"Yes, you can."

I fixed my things so that he can have some space for his. My table was quite messy since I wasn't expecting anyone else to sit with me. I didn't know why but I was actually quite embarassed.

He placed his Americano on the table and finally sat down.

I decided to not start a conversation and continue with what I was doing because I badly need to finish this essay. Thankfully, he's also really quiet despite looking like someone who's really playful. I'm really happy that he didn't bother me.

I was getting something from my bag when I felt a hot liquid dripping down from the table.

I looked at my papers and it was wet. I looked at the guy next and I can't believe that he just spilled his coffee on the table. He looked so lost and didn't know what to do. I even thought he was quite cute.

WAIT WHAT- MY PAPERS ARE WET AND HE SPILLED HIS COFFEE?!

I hurriedly looked at my papers and thankfully my notes aren't wet. But the essay that I was working on for days was ruined.

"I'm really sorry. It was an accident."

I wasn't mad at him but we had to clean up the mess. I asked for the staff's help and everything was clean in just a few minutes.

I stared at the guy and he looked so guilty. He was biting his lips and couldn't look at me probably because of what he did. I understood that it was just an accident so I didn't really want to blame him for that.

"I-I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to spill my coffee."

Probably because I was too preoccupied awhile ago, I didn't notice that he had a really deep voice and an accent to top that.

"No, it's okay. I know it was an accident."

I smiled at him after talking to ease the awkwardness around us. (a/n: like awkward silence~)

"Is there anything I can do to help you? I mean, I just ruined the papers you were working on?"

"I was actually finishing my essay that's due in two days."

"I'm sorry. What's the topic about?"

"I have to write an essay about the K-pop industry in our country and we have to write in English. I'm having a hard time because I'm not a big fan of K-pop."

"Maybe I can help you write your essay?"

"Really?! I'd appreciate it!"

He asked for my laptop so that I can just re-write it afterwards. While he was working on my essay, I decided to continue writing my notes and study for my upcoming tests. I check on him every time and I noticed that he looks so cute as he was seriously typing on my laptop. What are you even thinking about, Ara?! He's a stranger!

I also noticed that he kept on biting his lips so I guess that's his mannerism?

I shrugged off those thoughts and continued working.

"Hey..."

I quickly stood up and realized that I fell asleep while studying. I checked my phone and saw that it was already "9:00 PM"

"The store's about to close so I decided to wake you up."

"I'm sorry. I haven't slept properly these past few days."

"I'm done with your essay."

"Really? Thank you for the help!"

I placed my things on my bag and we went out of the coffee shop together. I was just about to wave goodbye but to my surprise, he walked towards me.

"It's really late so I should accompany you."

"No, you don't have to. I live at a dorm that's really near."

I pointed at the building where I lived. It was just a few buildings away.

"Oh, okay"

"Thank you again for your help!"

"It's fine! Be safe."

He looked at me with a cute smile and walked away. I couldn't help but smile too.

This was a really unexpected day.

© to the pictures I used

[sparxx-studies]

do you have any advice on writing an essay you haven't started that was due friday that's also like, most of your grade because i'm sTRESSING

Omg, I just saw this but yes! Because I do it all the fricking time!

Get your stuff together. I mean this in all sense of the word. Your materials, your class notes, everything. 

Know what the topic is asking. If you don’t know what the prompt/question is, you can’t really write the essay.

Know what you need in order to write the essay. There’s been many times where I’m behind on readings so I’m like “I’ll read everything!” No. That’s not going to work. If you know that one reading/topic is going to be covered, look for readings and class notes that pertain to that specific topic. That way you’re not looking through twelve readings when you only need two.

Skim, skim, skim. Get the basic idea of what each reading is saying (this is where class notes can come in handy!) and then use it to your advantage.

Do a quick outline. Literally, I’ll just be like “Topic -> Ex. 1 -> Evidence 1 -> Ex. 2″ etc., until I’ve pretty much put my thoughts on the paper. 

Write the paper! It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to be in the right formatting (I always do mine on a grey background with red ink so I see better). Whatever you do, write it.

Take a break. You did it! You wrote your paper! But don’t submit it yet. Take a fifteen-twenty minute break. Come back.

Read your paper. Does it sound good? Does it make sense? Is it acceptable? Cool! Good job! If not, make the changes you need. 

Submit your paper as soon as you’re done reading it again. Yeah, you may want to re-read it again, or wait until tomorrow or whatever, but if it’s over-due or if you’re only twenty or thirty minutes from the deadline, submit it. A C is better than an F.

Bonus: Listen to movie soundtracks/video game music to help motivate you! 

[fanciful-follies]

hello this is likely not the kind of question you usually get but i'm a tiny baby who is getting scared of his future and i was just wondering if you had any advice regarding The Unholy Trio™ (SAT, ACT, and college applications)?

Unfortunately I can’t give any suggestions on the SAT (I never took it) but I’ll do my best to give some advice on the other two.

ACT: Okay. This test. Is stupid. Stupid, but manageable. It’s stupid because of how its structured, I hated the small, timed portions. The thing about the ACT is that, sure, it tests your basic knowledge, but it’s really testing how well you can take tests.

If I’m remembering it correctly, you’re supposed to be able to answer each question in like, 30 seconds or a minute. So don’t get caught up in the questions. Big breaths before each one, and read what the question is asking. If you know the answer right away, awesome!!! If you’re struggling with a question, try eliminating a few of the answer options. Always go back to the question/passage to see if you can find any context clues. AND REMEMBER that there is not a penalty for wrong answers or an omitted answer, BUT there is always a chance your guess is going to be right, so tbh ALWAYS put down an answer even if it is a complete guess. You never know. 

Look up what sort of questions are usually asked/the format. I think it’s usually something like19 analogies * 19 sentence completion * 40 reading comprehension * 35 math multiple-choices * 15 quantitative comparisons * 10 student-produced responses (but look that up I’m not sure). 

Also, there are a bunch of practice tests either in practice ACT booklets or online, take those!!! I remember doing that and it really helped. Practice finish in the allotted time you’ll have and keep track of what you have the most trouble with. Then study those aspects. AND remember that you can take the ACT more than once. So messing up the first time? Don’t let it stress you out too much. (I know there are ones in April and June, and more the next school year if you have time to take it then)

And okay, I know this is the worst test advice, but just don’t let it get to you too much. Study for it, but don’t let it consume every minute of your thoughts. The night before it? Honestly just overlook a few things but then relax. There’s not much more you can learn the night before that you haven’t already. So watch a movie, read a book, hang out with friends. Then get some sleep (and okay yes eat a big breakfast that test is long and annoying and you’ll need energy and not a hungry stomach)

College applications are…stressful…and confusing. So my first tip is if you have someone you can ask to help you out, do that. Luckily my parents had gone through the process with my two siblings before me, so they were a big help. But if you don’t have that, try a school counselor, it’s sort of their job, so I would hope yours could help you out. Still no luck with that, maybe a trusted teacher. 

The biggest tip is don’t procrastinate on them. For real. Start early. Email/mail them in early. I waited too long for some of mine and man oh man, scrambling to get them in was not fun. Plus emailing them in early honestly means your application will be looked at more closely. On the actual deadline day, admissions will be getting so many applications that yours could get lost in them/not looked at as closely.

And if you can, go visit the campus of the colleges you’re applying to. Set up an interview, too. I know that sounds scary, and it will feel scary and awkward, but it makes them remember you. It’ll give you a little boost in their consideration. They want to see that you’re enthusiastic about the college. 

The essay you write is also tough. Obviously you want to stick out, but it’s hard to pick a topic that doesn’t seem like every other college application essay out there. I did mine on the book/movie Matilda and how that really affected and inspired me as a child, pushing me to read/write while also remembering it’s okay to be the quiet kid. Try to find something personal that had an affect on you. And tbh embellish it. It’s okay to add some flare to it.

Other than that the other stuff is technical details. Follow the instructions of the applications, make sure you have access to your high school transcripts, re-read everything, make copies of stuff just in case, etc. 

I know all of this is overwhelming and just seems like so much and like it will never end, but you’re going to get through it! Like I barely remember doing it now, it’s all kind of a distant and hazy memory. But you’re going to do it, and parts of it will suck, but you will do it and you will beat it and you will do everything you need to do and come out of it feeling pretty darn awesome because hell yeah, you got through a few of the most frustrating processes ever.

So just stay focused, stay organizes, and don’t be afraid of having the occasional freak out. Let the freak outs happen. It can be good for you.