#busted my ass the minute the sun came out

[amaranthpetal]

I got suited and somehow simutaneously got a heat stroke and ate shit over a bean bag in the matter of minutes while taking a selfie

what do I do now does anyone have suggestions

[tobyislame]

some ticci toby headcanons

consider this a headcanon salad cus these were all randomly thrown together as they came to me

- fragile masculinity up to the NINES with this one

- totally an ice eater what a sicko

- he's double jointed in so many places. also freakishly flexible. likes to freak people out by popping his joints in and out of place lmao

- has the crackiest bones ever. you think you hear sticks breaking in the woods its just toby's crack ass ankles

- weed partaker but stays the freak away from the bottle cus yk he doesn't want to find out if that "like father like son" stuff is true

- plays guitar and makes up shitty 1 minute sad guy with a guitar songs. fingerstyle typa guy

- plays ONLY FOR HIMSELF and gets embarrassed but tries to act like he's not if someone walks in on him. like he'll just hastily stop n scramble to put away his guitar n act all cool like he totally wasn't playing guitar just now and go "whaddyouwant"

- definitely sneaks into concerts and shows. it's easy for him to blend in there. gets suuuper fucking beat up in the pit cus yk he doesn't realize how battered up he's getting in the moment until he gets a glimpse of himself and is like oh hell my lip's busted and my nose is in a different place than it was before

- think he'd have an owen wilson nose on account of how much he's broken it

- also one of his canines is missing

- just a SUUUPER accident prone guy. has no sense of self preservation. like ZERO (cus he was never really taught how to manage his cipa) (well he was yk before The Incident but he doesn't remember much of it)

- has sun spots cus he's outside all day all the time. also tonsss of freckles and moles

- burns his playlists onto cds

- he'd like every music genre but in particular i think he'd listen to late 90s/early 2000s teenage boy music. also 80s music. specifically new wave stuff

- knows a lil bit of asl for his verbal shutdowns

- also i hc him as audhd

- along with his stutter (which i don't consider to be related to his tourettes) he also just has a speech impediment. like sometimes his r's or l's come out as w's and he has trouble pronouncing certain sounds or words and just says them wrong and people correct him consistently he just doesn't really listen or care to correct himself

- not too good at spelling or any of that grammar stuff

- i really want to stress that he's NOT stupid. he hate hate hates how people patronize him and make him out to be some sort of incapable dunce. it makes him feel small and he hates feeling small. he's smart, he's just not good at communicating it. no matter what he tries his words just come out wrong. "i'm lots smarter in my head" is what he'd probably say

- always has a fidget spinner/cube on him

- he kinda just vomits when he gets overwhelmed. like when he has to ride in a car he leans his head out the window like a dog the whole way, partly just cus he likes it and it's fun to play airplane with his hand in the wind but also cus he could spew his guts at any moment

- collects spider-man comics and cool rocks. also unironically looks up to spider-man cus he always gets back up despite all the shit he gets put through. he feels like he could learn from that. he thinks it makes him seem like a kid though which is something he really wants to prove that he's not so he keeps it to himself

- super gross oh my god he's so gross. like doesn't wash his body in the shower cus "the water will get it" picks his nose and eats it kind of gross. will also get all obnoxious and in your face about it if you rightfully tell him he's a sick fuck for that

- honestly that'd be his response every time someone criticizes him

- like you could be like "you fuckin reek" n he'd be like "oh yea?" and grapple you into a headlock with his armpit shoved in your face

- his speech pattern is a little funky. like his sentences just come out like they were sorta haphazardly put together. he doesn't make much sense a lot of the time

- i wanna say he's endearingly dorky but he's just fucking weird. like he probably flirts in a napoleon dynamite-esque fashion. he has a vague idea of what flirting is he just doesn't quite got it but hey he's got the spirit

- he really just has a vague idea of what conversation is in general. he just doesn't have that good of a grasp on how people talk to each other. he feels a major glaring disconnect between himself and every other human in the world and it just makes him feel even smaller

- a lost fucking puppy when it comes to talking to women. just completely and utterly helpless. he stutters a lot more he trips over his words a lot more which just makes him red it's brutal to watch

- my voiceclaim for him is whoever voices bumblebee before he loses his voice box in the michael bay transformers movies (just looked it up it's stiles fucking stilinski)

- his voice cracks all the time ESPECIALLY when he raises his voice. he gets red and embarrassed every time it does and he really badly tries to hide it which just makes it even funnier to everyone else poor guy

- wants so badly to be perceived as a big intimidating muscle man but he just isn't no matter how hard he tries

[hotdilfs11]

☆゜・。。Do You Love Me? 。。・゜☆

✩pairings: Newt x reader, Gally x reader, Minho x reader(friendship)

✩ summary- Y/n is the only girl in the glade and she's gotten close to the boys there to the point of having feelings. She loves Gally and Newt very much but who would she chose? And who would she hurt? Y/n is spiraling and scared about losing two of her closest friends.

warnings: none

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

The Glade. It’s home, peaceful, and full of life, love, and adventure. I’m the only girl in the glade as of now. I came out of the little crate thingy about a month ago, and I’ve made many friends since then. Even though we're all trapped here, I’ve never felt this at home before. It’s a warm and comforting feeling that I’ll never forget. The people that made it feel like home are the people I trust with my fucking life, my ride-or-die, and my day-to-day. Minho, Newt, and Gally

 Minho. I run with him, and yes, I said it; I’m a runner. It seems crazy, but the first day I got here, I wanted to be a runner, and I begged Minho to make me a runner, and he did. Now we're closer than ever. He's like a big brother to me; he protects me, and we fight sometimes, but we get along well. Anyway, I ran the maze with him. We trust each other, trust each other's opinions, and trust each other's judgment. We’re best friends, and I love him so much.

Gally. He’s very protective of me. You can say he’s overprotective at times. I get pushed around, someone argues with me, or someone messes with me. Gally is always there to back me up. On the first day of my being in the Glade, Gally challenged me in the wrestling sand circle. He told me the rules, and we fought. I didn’t win; I fought like hell too. I tricked him once he busted his ass, but in the end, I won everyone’s respect. I earned Gally's respect. Now we fight and tease each other. I love him too; he’s my other best friend.

Finally Newt. He’s such a sweetheart. I can admit I had some trouble fitting in here. I’ve started fights and finished them. I was angry at the world for sending me here, and the only one who told me it was okay was Newt. That's why I love him so much. When I was in the box, he was the first one to jump down and say “It’s a girl” in a heavy British accent. He was the first one to give me a tour. He cared for me, comforted me, fed me; he just took care of me. I hung out with him every day, having deep, long conversations almost every day and sharing everything we could remember about each other. I feel at home with him. I feel warmth and comfort. He always has my back, even when I’m in the wrong.

“LETS GO, Y/N” Minho shouted as sweat poured down his face. His scream bounced off the rusty concrete walls as we sprinted through the maze. Our shoes slammed hard on the ground as we reached the end of the maze, but I couldn’t run anymore. My legs and arms were on fire, with sweat dripping down my face. I licked my lips, tasting the sweet saltiness of my sweat still running and fighting through the pain I’m enduring. We make a sharp turn, seeing the Glade dead ahead of us, but my legs feel like they’re about to go out. I couldn’t breathe anymore. My clothes were sticking to my clothes as the scorching sun punched my face. It felt like my head was going to explode. But I didn’t give up, though I fought like hell to get out of the maze. As everything came to a blur, I fell to the ground, feeling the soft green grass hug my face. The smell made me relax as I sunk into it, making every ounce of my problems fly out the window. 

"Minho, go on without me... I gotta, I gotta lay down for a second,” I say as I try to catch my breath.

Running around me Minho yells, "Okay, I’ll bring you some water!”

“Uh huh,” I murmured, covering my face with my left arm and blocking the sun from my eyes. I sat there for about ten minutes until I felt a strong presence creep towards me. A large shadow stood over me, and it took me a while to say something because of how sore my muscles were.

The Glade. It’s home, peaceful, and full of life, love, and adventure. I’m the only girl in the glade as of now. I came out of the little crate thingy about a month ago, and I’ve made many friends since then. Even though we're all trapped here, I’ve never felt this at home before. It’s a warm and comforting feeling that I’ll never forget. The people that made it feel like home are the people I trust with my fucking life, my ride-or-die, and my day-to-day. Minho, Newt, and Gally

 Minho. I ran with him, and yes, I said it; I’m a runner. It seems crazy, but the first day I got here, I wanted to be a runner, and I begged Minho to make me a runner, and he did. Now we're closer than ever. He's like a big brother to me; he protects me, and we fight sometimes, but we get along well. Anyway, I ran the maze with him. We trust each other, trust each other's opinions, and trust each other's judgment. We’re best friends, and I love him so much.

Gally. He’s very protective of me. You can say he’s overprotective at times. I get pushed around, someone argues with me, or someone messes with me. Gally is always there to back me up. On the first day of my being in the Glade, Gally challenged me in the wrestling sand circle. He told me the rules, and we fought. I didn’t win; I fought like hell too. I tricked him once he busted his ass, but in the end, I won everyone’s respect. I earned Gally's respect. Now we fight and tease each other. I love him too; he’s my other best friend.

Finally Newt. He’s such a sweetheart. I can admit I had some trouble fitting in here. I’ve started fights and finished them. I was angry at the world for sending me here, and the only one who told me it was okay was Newt. That's why I love him so much. When I was in the box, he was the first one to jump down and say “It’s a girl” in a heavy British accent. He was the first one to give me a tour. He cared for me, comforted me, fed me; he just took care of me. I hung out with him every day, having deep, long conversations almost every day and sharing everything we could remember about each other. I feel at home with him. I feel warmth and comfort. He always has my back, even when I’m in the wrong.

“LETS GO, Y/N” Minho shouted as sweat poured down his face. His scream bounced off the rusty concrete walls as we sprinted through the maze. Our shoes slammed hard on the ground as we reached the end of the maze, but I couldn’t run anymore. My legs and arms were on fire, with sweat dripping down my face. I licked my lips, tasting the sweet saltiness of my sweat still running and fighting through the pain I’m enduring. We make a sharp turn, seeing the Glade dead ahead of us, but my legs feel like they’re about to go out. I couldn’t breathe anymore. My clothes were sticking to my clothes as the scorching sun punched my face. It felt like my head was going to explode. But I didn’t give up, though I fought like hell to get out of the maze. As everything came to a blur, I fell to the ground, feeling the soft green grass hug my face. The smell made me relax as I sunk into it, making every ounce of my problems fly out the window. 

"Minho, go on without me... I gotta, I gotta lay down for a second,” I say as I try to catch my breath.

Running around me Minho yells, "Okay, I’ll bring you some water!”

“Uh huh,” I murmured, covering my face with my left arm and blocking the sun from my eyes. I sat there for about ten minutes until I felt a strong presence creep towards me. A large shadow stood over me, and it took me a while to say something because of how sore my muscles were.

“What the hell are you doing on the floor? ''Gally said with a cute smirk on his face. "Uh, huh,” I mumbled, waving him off.

“Y/N?”

I groaned,"Yes, Gally, what?”

“What are you doing on the floor?” He says it in a concerning tone.

I look up at him with my elbows propping me up. “I’m tired, man,” I sigh. “Give me a piggyback ride, would you?"I need to lay down.” I say it lazily, covering my face with my hand to get a better look at him.

He rolls his eyes with another cute smirk on his face. It kind of gave me butterflies. "Ok, fine, come on." He squats down, waiting for me to jump on his back. I lift myself up off the soft grass,jumping on his muscular and hard back. I felt his warmth radiate off his body and off mine as I wrapped my tender arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. Gally's arms flexed when his strong arms started to find their place around my legs, and the strength of his rough hands supported me on his back. I rested my head on his shoulders, taking in his harsh evergreen scent, which sent a chill through my whole body.

"Aww, you're such a sweetheart, Gally.” I tease him, smiling through my words. Gally scoffed, “Shut up,” with a soft chuckle leaving his mouth. I know he was being sarcastic, but I saw a smile appear on his face as a red hue started to slowly form on his face, giving me butterflies in my stomach. I leaned closer into him, smelling his husky, earthy scent as he continued to walk me closer to my destination. I never wanted to get off of him. I felt so close and in touch with him.

"Where are you going again?” he questioned 

“Umm…you can take me to Minho," I whispered softly in his ear, trying to relax into him. I inched into the crook of his neck, savoring the amazing scent bouncing off his skin. As I’m relaxing on Gally's back, I hear footsteps approaching me from behind.

 "Hey, love," someone said to me in a hefty and attractive British accent. I turn around to see Newt running up beside me, and Gally looks handsome as ever with his dirty blond hair and his lavish smile. With butterflies swarming in my stomach, I turn my neck around to look at him. "Hey, Newt,” I smile. I started to appreciate his soft, chiseled facial features as I gazed into his deep brown eyes.

"Where are you going? and why are you on Gally's back?”

"I was in the maze today and got tired, and I'm just trying to find Minho on my new ride here.” I patted Gally's back as I softly chuckled at him.

 "Shut up.” Gally glared at me.

 Newt chuckled. "Well, when you’re done, love, maybe we can go hang out if you want.” Newt asked anxiously, waiting for an answer.

Resting my head on Gally's back, I look into his eyes once again, and being coy, I say, "Maybe,” with a soft smile forming on my face. He grins lavishly, breaking eye contact. “Well, I’ll see you then, y/n/n.” He runs the other way, and I watch him go. Gally took a deep breath and sighed. "Oh, look, there's Minho," he said in a nonchalant tone".

I waved my arm at him, trying to catch his attention. “Minho!” I yelled. He didn’t see me, so I jumped off Gally's back. My boots hit the ground hard, and my legs were still sore, but I was okay to walk. “Minho!” I yell one more time as I and Gally are walking towards him.

"Yeah, I was supposed to bring you whatever happened. He says he is walking towards me with his arms in the air.

I put my hand on my forehead, shielding my eyes from the radiant sunlight. "Uh, well, Gally here gave me a piggyback ride, so you didn’t have to run back."

"Hey Gally!" Minho yelled, walking towards us. Gally made a slight wave at Minho with a friendly smile.

Minho picked up the water he got and came up to me, handing it to me. “I didn’t mind running back over there." Minho gets cut off by this relentless, loud buzzing sound pierced through the air. It sounded like a loud hum of a thousand bees that nerved all of us but also scared us. It was another greenie. The machines grinded together, creating a loud pitch that fanned through the air, refusing to be ignored. We all turned our heads sharply, guiding our attention to the sound. We looked at each other with concern, making sure we heard it right. However, it wasn't the end of the loud, suffocating sound. As another buzz started to dash through the air, we all started sprinting to the elevator like a machine. I was still sore and hurting, but we all had to see what they brought up. My heart was beating out of my chest, and sweat beads started to farm on my forehead as everyone in the glade sprinted towards the crate.

 Out of breath, Minho and I stopped at the door's opening. Gally was hovering over the two futuristic metal doors. Newt came behind me, trying to push through the crowd of boys. As he was passing me, he put his soft, warm hand on the small of my back, sending a chill throughout my body. Anyway, Newt stood beside Gally as they investigated the door opening. The doors open, showing a boy. He’s about sixteen and scared; he looks like every average boy in the glade. Gally jumps in the crate with force, furiously saying, "Day one, greenie," taking him by the shirt and getting him out of the crate. It’s like this with every kid that comes here. They get scared; they don’t know who they are; they try to run, blah blah blah. It’s a cycle at this point, but it’s pretty amusing. I don’t know if that’s messed up, but if you haven’t noticed, there’s not that much entertainment in the glade.

໒( ” •̀ ᗜ •́ ” )७ sorry if I have some mispelling and stuff I didn't look over it yet ๑ ︵︵ ๑

[toptierteaser]

Beach Fatty

Listen man, I think those swim trunks are getting a little too tight.

                What do I mean? Well, just look at you! You’re busting out of them! You can’t even tie the strings anymore. And don’t try to tell me you were only “taking extra time to get your towels” before you came down to the beach. I know what you were doing at the beach house. I know how much of a struggle it was getting those things on. Squeezing into them. How many times did you have to jump up and down just to get your fat ass past the waistband?

                To be honest, dude…you’re looking kind of pathetic. Waddling down the beach like that. Isn’t it getting at least a little embarrassing, fatty? Having all that chub exposed in the sun. All that soft, doughy flesh that wasn’t there during the last vacation. Wobbling around with every step! You think you’re hot stuff, don’t you, porker? I can tell from the smile on your tubby face! You still think people are looking at your abs and your muscles.

                Fatty…they’re looking at your blubber! They just can’t believe you’d be oblivious enough to come jiggling down the beach like this! With your gut starting to hang over your waistband…with your thighs rubbing…with those tits starting to jiggle with every step of the way!

                And don’t even get me started on that blimping ass! Heh, you look like a blown-up marshmallow out here, tubby! You look like you’ve put on…thirty…forty pounds…since you were last here! And you’ve barely even noticed!

                Well, I have. And so have the other guys. And the people on the beach just trying to enjoy their time! Everyone has seen it! Don’t think I didn’t watch how difficult it was getting for you to put sunscreen on the other day! The way your fat rolls jiggled as you slapped the thick paste all over your body. How hard it was for you to reach over your chubby love handle and get to your back. How hard it was holding back laughing at your pathetic ass as you whimpered, trying to reach around your chubby sides to get to your back!

                Don’t think I didn’t see you, fat boy. How much you jiggle now. every time you tried to jump a wave! How your tits bounced around as you played catch. How your chest jiggled every time you threw a sack in corn hole. The way you struggled to squeeze your chubby ass through the hole of that inner tube! It made me give that ass a slap! How pathetic you looked playing volleyball…you didn’t last very long, did you porker? Got out of breath after about five minutes and went waddling off to sit on your fat ass and stuff yourself with some more snacks. You’re so pathetic. But let me tell you something. That beach chair isn’t going to hold your widening ass for much longer, fatboy. Those swim trunks are gonna split from the girth of that bubble butt at any second.

                But, I’m going to enjoy watching your pathetic attempts to fit in here. To have a good time. To try not to think about your jiggling man tits or your ballooning ass. To try not to think of the way your thighs rub with every step, or how out of breath you’re getting. I’ll be here, lounging around, playing in my fit, capable body while you sit there, stuffing yourself with that stupid look on your face. Trying to distract yourself with as much junk food as you possibly can. You’ll just keep eating and eating…until by the end of vacation you look like an over-inflated beach ball. And then you’ll waddle home.

                Man, I can’t wait to see what you do to yourself by the time next year’s vacation rolls around.

[kisses-from-crows]

Crossed Wires - Campbell Bain - Ch 3.

Pairing: Radio Host!Campbell Bain/Popstar!femReader

Summary: Campbell is ready to get some answers, but is Y/N ready to give them?

Genre: enemies to lovers, modern au, reader insert, forced proximity, misunderstandings

Word count: 3,286

CW: mentions of mental illness, vague allusions to a past ED, panic attack

Chapter 3

Beginning | Previous | Next

- PopCrave: Is it about time for a rematch? Fans speculate with Y/N’s return to the public eye, a new heated interview with Campbell Bain can’t be too far behind. So we’re counting down the Top 10 Bain vs L/N moments!

Posted: 10 min ago -

When Campbell’s alarm went off, his bloodshot eyes had already been wide open. He’d hardly slept a wink, up all night just thinking. His mind did this often, running around in circles dragging his remaining sanity uselessly behind it.

Months ago when he had selected ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go Go’ as his alarm, he had thought it was the funniest thing in the world. Now he was considering how much it would cost to replace his phone if he smashed it to bits. It seemed that the sun had risen against his will once again and it was time to face the music.

Quite literally face the music, his phone was charging across the room and the only way to turn the blasted song off would be to get out of his nice warm bed. Yet again another one of his brilliant ideas come back to bite him in the ass.

Just as his toes touched down on the cold wooden floor of his bedroom, the song stopped of it own accord. Campbell winced knowing what was next, a call was coming through. Through the busted speakers of his phone came blasting the most deep-fried version of ‘Ding Dong The Witch is Dead’. At full volume. If he hadn’t been awake before, he sure was now.

Campbell scrambled frantically across the room looking like Bambi on ice, ignoring the way his body groaned in protest at the sudden movement. Anything to make the damn phone stop ringing. The last thing he needed was yet another noise complaint from his cranky downstairs neighbor.

The phone slipped through his fingers as he attempted to snatch it off his desk and fell to the floor. The words: ‘ITS THE DEVIL’S HENCHMAN, DINNAE ANSWER IT’ stared up at him from the ground as if to mock him. With a deep sigh, Campbell managed to answer the phone successfully.

“My driver will be there in five minutes. Get your chronically late ass out of bed.” Y/N ground out before immediately hanging up. Campbell blinked at the screen, the lack of sleep making his brain lag behind. It took about ten whole seconds for him to process what she said.

“Good morning to ye too, ya royal pain in my arse” He said to no one but the air. So the call last night hadn’t been a bizarre nightmare, just his luck. The last thing he wanted to do today, much less any other day, was another interview with F/N L/N. ‘This one’s different.’ Her words from last night had echoed though his head into the wee hours of the morning.

Now the words ‘be there in five minutes’ were making the rounds inside his skull as Campbell scrambled to put together something suitable to wear. Dirty and clean clothes alike were strewn across the floor. It took about five tries to find something that didn’t smell completely appalling. Just as he was hopping around trying to get his left shoe on, the buzzer to his apartment complex rang out.

He nearly broke his neck racing down the stairs to make it to the car. If there was one thing Y/N hated more than Campbell Bain, it was people making her wait. She was already going to tear him to shreds, Campbell didn’t need to make it any easier for her.

Even with his color block hoodie on, Campbell could still feel the bite of the autumn air. October was just around the corner and the yellow, reds, and oranges were just beginning to creep into the edges of the trees. He loved this time of year. The heat of the summer always made him a bit irritable. Plus with the weather in the 60’s he was able to pull out his favorite sweaters and hoodies.

In front of his apartment was a black town car and stern looking man in a black suit and sunglasses. Right on time, just like Y/N said they would be. Campbell strode his way up to the driver and stuck out a hand for him to shake.

“Campbell Bain, pleased to make yer acquaintance.” he said with a crooked smile.

The driver looked down at Campbell’s hand before grunting and offering a curt, “Get in the car.” Before opening rear passenger door and marching over to the driver’s seat without waiting to see if Campbell got in or not.

“Well aren’t you just a ray o’ sunshine” Campbell grumbled as he climbed into the car and slammed the door shut.

On the ride over he tried to come up with every possible reason she wanted to meet with him like this. Other than their somewhat yearly interviews, they only ever bumped into each other at various album wrap parties or some odd studio function. Event’s like the station Christmas party which was almost always tragic. Too much booze and a pathetic round of Secret Santa. Even then, they spent the whole night pointedly ignoring each other. Stealing loathing glances across the room as some remix of Jingle bells desecrated what was once a hallowed hall of music.

As the car rolled to a stop in front the french bistro, Campbell felt like a lamb to slaughter. He attempted to swallow the lump in his throat, while he procrastinated getting out. In no time at all the driver had walked around the car and opened the door for him. Impatiently ushering him out. God when did his life get so weird? Had it always been this weird? Maybe just a different kind of weird. The driver said something into his little ear piece before getting back in the town car and driving off. Likely just circling the block, unwilling to leave Y/N by herself with Campbell for too long.

He took a deep breath and reminded himself that he worked hard to get where he is. This was just another business meeting. There was no need for his heart to be pounding and his hands to be sweating. Though you could hardly blame fight or flight for merely doing its job. Especially when Campbell was walking straight into the den of a predator, one who would eat his heart without a second thought.

He donned his patented ‘Devil May Care’ attitude and sauntered his way into the restaurant. Only to be stopped immediately by the hostess.

“Sir, you need a reservation to be in here” She said in a patronizing tone. Nearly a decade now of rubbing elbows with these yuppy rich people and he still couldn’t get over the condescending way they talked. Like he had a head full of lead and loose cotton swabs.

“I haaave a reservation,” Campbell said obnoxiously dragging out the syllables, letting his accent garble the enunciation just a bit. “I’m meeting with someone.”

The hostess flushed, seemingly embarrassed. “My apologies, you must be Mr. Bain. Right this way, she has been waiting for you.” The hostess said quickly. Campbell suppressed a wince, Y/N had been waiting, and he was never going to hear the end of it.

He followed the hostess as she scurried to a table tucked in the back corner. In the booth sat a feminine figure, donning comically large sunglasses and a silk scarf wrapped around her head. If he didn’t know any better he would have thought she was some infamous mafia boss’s grandmama.

“Aye, good morning babooshka. Any chance you’ve seen global pop sensation F/N L/N wandering around here?” Campbell said, sarcasm dripping from his shit eating grin. Y/N shushed him quickly, tilting her sunglasses down to level him with a glare so cold that the tiniest shiver ran down his spine. He half-wondered if it had turned him to stone. Ah, but there was that wrinkle, mission accomplished.

“Someone could hear you, you know?!” She hissed under her breath. “Are you just going to stand there looking like an unemployed scarecrow all day?” Y/N allowed a practiced tone of disinterest to seep into her voice. Campbell ignored the jab, feeling quite satisfied that it only took one well aimed sentence to bring out that adorable little crinkle in her brow. Adorable like a Tasmanian devil, of course.

He plopped himself unceremoniously into the booth besides Y/N. His long legs struggled to fit comfortably under the short clothed table. His knees crashed into the table legs, causing the silverware to clatter, water to spill from the crystal water glasses, and several other patrons to whip their head toward the pair of them distastefully.

“Aye learn to mind yer business, why don’t ya” Campbell shouted, attempting to stand up from the booth and knocking into table once more. Y/N rubbed a hand over her exasperated brow, as if trying to rub out an incoming headache.

“Dear god, is this your first time in public?” She said, her shoulders now folded forward to hide from the judgmental eyes of the other patrons.

“Nae,” Campbell said “but it looks like it’s your first time out of the 1950’s. What’s up with the ridiculous disguise, you look like my granny”

“I suppose you may be right about that” Y/N said, letting a small huff of air out her nose in a amusement. A laugh and admitting he was right about something? That was proof, Y/N had been murdered and replaced with a clone. Clearly, they were in the twilight zone. As he was pondering the universe and the fact it was currently flipping itself inside out, Y/N began her removing her disguise piece by piece. First the silk scarf revealing her signature H/T - H/C hair, then a fake beauty mark he hadn’t even noticed before, and finally the unreasonably large sunglasses.

For the first time in nearly two years (a year and eights months but who was counting) Campbell had taken a good look at Y/N. She looked… different? Her cheeks were a little fuller, her skin looked warmer, and… had her eyes always been that color? He took in her appearance piece by piece. By the time the stretch of silence had started to become just a bit uncomfortable, he decided that getting the hell out of dodge agreed with her.

He hadn’t realized he was staring until Y/N cleared her throat and took an awkwardly long sip from her nearly empty water glass.

“So, did you have any trouble finding the place?” she said with a small smirk. Campbell rolled his eyes.

“Nae, but yer rather rude driver looked like he was two seconds away from taking my head clean off my shoulders. Ye should watch out for him, he is clearly a serial killer in the making, just you wait” Campbell said, waving his arms about indignantly. “That and the hostess damn near threw me out on the street.”

“Oh Gustavo? He’s nothing but a kitten. He just gets a little protective, that’s all. You’re being such a big baby. And the hostess was just doing her job. I told her I was waiting for the man who looked like Gumby and sounded like Scrooge McDuck. And look! Here you are right before my eyes” Y/N responded a quick, a slightly menacing grin slowly sliding across her face. She was trying to get a rise out of him. He was not about to let her win.

“Funny, I just plugged in ‘Wicked Witch of the West’ into my GPS and-“Just as Campbell was winding up to deliver the most immature tirade, light reflecting off a passing car filled the room with a quick flash. Y/N flinched, her hands moving instinctively to cover her face. A moment later when no second flash came, she looked up at him, cheeks slowly turning red.

“What was that?” Campbell said, more curious than judgmental. Y/N straightened herself up and slid a palpable wall up to cover whatever vulnerability she had accidentally revealed. She flipped through the menu absently, hoping he would just stop looking at her like that.

“Paps have been ruthless lately. Guess that’s what happens when deprive them of anything for so long…” Y/N eyes looked a little distant. “they start acting like they’re starving.” The light that had been in her eyes earlier had dulled. She looked as though her mind had gone wondering off without her. Only for moment, before blinking and coming back into her body. “Hence the russian grandma special.” She joked flippantly holding up her pathetic disguise like nothing happened.

She turned her attention back to the menu. “Ooh the quiche lorraine looks good, what are you going to get?” Campbell looked at Y/N like she had three heads. Something was definitely wrong. He been around the block enough times to know when something was off. And he’d had enough of the games.

“What are we doing here Y/N?” Campbell said, not waiting for a response. “Why are you having me meet you in some stuffy bistro like yer on the run from the law? If ya wanted an interview with me that badly, which I highly doubt, why not just have yer team arrange it through the station?”

“The station doesn’t need to know about this.” Y/N said, unable to look him in the eye. She flagged down the waitress and put in an order for the both of them.

“Hey wait I didn’t even tell ye what I wanted!” Campbell said indignantly with a small pout. Y/N gave him a crooked smile that couldn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Just trust me.” She said. And for one of the very few times in Campbell’s life, he was speechless.

The moment the food hit the table he tore into it. He was basically starving due to the fact Y/N had cruelly denied him time to eat breakfast before basically kidnapping him. For a reason he still didn’t know yet. At the point where the food had hit his stomach and he could actually start to taste it, Campbell felt like he had died and gone to heaven. Maybe she had been right about the food. Maybe.

“Enjoying yourself?” Y/N asked smugly, tearing off a piece of croissant and popping it into her mouth. Campbell shot her glare, mouth too full to attempt any sort of dignified comeback. Not without spitting food out all over the table, and he was not about to waste it.

As the his hunger-driven delirium subsided, he noticed the way Y/N was so focused on eating, she had barely said a word. Basked in an emotion he had never seen from her, she looked content. It felt a bit weird to see her eating, but Campbell could quite put his finger on why. Surely he’d seen her eating before, they’d known each for years. Every function they were forced to attend together were stuffed to the brim with a damn near gluttonous amount of food.

Y/N felt his eyes on her and stiffened. He was staring again. He really needed to get a handle on that. She put down her fork and turned to address Campbell. She took a deep inhale and let out a shaky breath.

“Campbell,” there was his name again, “I know that we haven’t always gotten along-“

“Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the understatement of the century!” Campbell interrupted. Y/N glared him and clenched her jaw.

“Will you just shut up for one minute, and let me get through this!” Y/N seethed. Campbell’s eyes widened. He comically mimed zipping up his mouth, locking it up, and tossing the key over his shoulder. She rolled her eyes at his antics, but his delusions swore there was a twinkle of amusement in her eyes.

“I need your help” Y/N admitted, her eyes fixed firmly on her lap. “A lot has happened, things that are difficult to explain and even more difficult for me say out loud.” She began twisting the rings on her fingers. “It wasn’t my choice to leave… to disappear like that” Campbell found himself leaning closer to hear her voice as it got quieter and quieter. He wondered if she had always looked this small. “Most people don’t really understand but I thought maybe… well I was hoping that you might-“

In the middle of what seemed to be a kind of confession, sounds of commotion came from outside. Y/N paused and slowly looked up, as if afraid of what she might see. Slowly and then all at once, camera flashes filled the once quiet restaurant. Reporters gathered outside the windows of the bistro, shouting over each other like a flock of seagulls. Cutting each off in a second creating an overlapping onslaught of noise.

“Y/N-“ “LOOK OVER HERE” “WHY DID YOU LEA-“ “Y/N” “Y/N” “LOOK THIS WA-“ “DID RODGER REALLY DUMP YO-“ “CAN YOU GIVE A COMMEN-“ “WHERE DID YOU G-“ “Y/N!” “IS IT TRUE YOU WERE IN REHA-“ “LOOK OVER HERE!” “HAVE YOU SEEN MR. DEL REY’S NEW FIANCÉ!” “Y/N!” “LOOK” “LOOK!” “LOOK!” “LOOK!”

The lights became blinding in an instant. Campbell was covering his eyes and trying to make sense of the commotion. The crowd outside was growing. The noise from them becoming louder and louder and more nonsensical. A few of the reporters had managed to make it in, only being held back by the ill-prepared waitstaff.

Y/N had dealing with this for years, she would know what to do. Campbell turned to her for an answer. And found her paralyzed. Eyes wide and glassy. Mouth hanging open slightly pushing tiny quick puffs of air in and out. None of them large enough count as an actual breath. Like a wounded deer staring down a man with a knife come to put it out of its misery.

“Y/N?” He said softly. She began shake her head ever slightly. The tiny puffs of breath of air almost sounded like a word, just barely: no. Campbell touched her hand, lightly trying to her attention but she was entranced. Staring at the lights and the shouting and the commotion. All of those people hoping to tear off just tiny little piece of her.

Campbell wasn’t stupid. He recognized that look. He’d seen it on Rosalie’s face a million times. She was having a panic attack, not the loud screaming kind. The kind that pulled you inside your own mind and made you a prisoner. Watching the world around yourself though a tiny little window, unable to do a thing. It was in that moment Campbell made a decision. A decision that went against years of bitter resentment and petty rivalry. She had asked him for help. And he was going to do just that.

Campbell stood up, gathered up all of Y/N’s things, and snatched the last croissant off the table. He was going to get her out of here. He took off his jacket and held it up with one hand, blocking the light from her face. He grabbed her hand and tugged on it slightly.

“Let’s get you out of here” Campbell said, a silent proposition hanging in the air. ‘Just trust me’. An invisible echo of those three little words she said to him not too long ago. Y/N looked up at him, still panicked but clinging to his hand like it was the only thing tethering her to the earth. He was happy to ignore the way it hurt his knuckles. She bravely stood up from the booth with shaky legs. And he smiled so wide it scrunched up his nose and nearly took over his whole face.

“Now, we run.”

_________________________________________________

Next Chapter

A/N: so i finally finished chapter three, not gonna lie this one fought me every step of the way, but we got here! i decided i’m gonna to try to post a new chapter weekly on wednesdays! thank you so much for reading, love you! have a good week!

(how do we feel about the paragraph breaks? i can’t tell if they’re obnoxious or if they make it easier to read. I can make them smaller if need be. if anyone has any strong opinions about it lmk!)

[fattestwriting]

YOU, yes YOU, the mun of this blog, with a blobby body bigger than the sun, and the hunger of a black hole, and the desire to turn everything around you into an endless ocean of your own piss, shit, and cum~

"Huh? What? This ask is absurd. Do people really not realize this stuff isn't real?"

Without a second thought, R-

"What the fuck was that!"

She turned around fervently, trying to find where the voice was coming from, only to realize-

"No, no way! I am not being narrated right now, that stuff isn't real! I must be drea-"

But Roxy's words had been cut off, as the ask took effect upon her body. She suddenly felt the pounds gaining on her body, pouring onto her like a bowl of lard. She quickly burst out of the home she had lived in, expanding rapidly.

The trans girl's body used to be small. She was 6'1", much to her shagreen, and she sported a pot belly that stuck out an inch or so from her chubby body with a muffin top that did the same around her sides. She had had small bingo arms, a blobby pelvis, chair filling thighs, a tights busting ass, chubby cheeks, and an average gock, but that was all gone, replaced with a much more cosmic version of herself.

She was now bigger than the sun, with all of her ever-churning balls, plump adipose riddled ass cheeks, and perky pear shaped tits each being the size of the gas ball. Her stomach had ballooned massively, with her blobby form being over 20 times the Suns size, without even accounting for her 10x the sun sized neck and solar system spanning cock.

"Oh FUCK me this feels so good,,,"

The lowly Tumblr writer had forgotten all about the voice in her head, about the absurdity of the situation, about anything other than her sheer size and the sexual pleasure she got from it. Her cock was harder than it had ever been, reaching light years in size, in both girth and length. Her pre soaked every galaxy she was facing before she even had a chance to think about cumming... Or her now very hungry stomach. It growled ferociously, informing her she needed to eat, now. She started with the Earth, if for no reason than sentimental value, but as she approached she felt small bumps hitting her jiggly fat.

"Aw, how cute! They've achieved world peace, by teaming together to launch every nuke at me! Not like that'll save them~"

And so, she finally beg- Hey! Hey what are you- You can't be in here! Uh, yes I can? It's my Tumblr blog. Get the fuck outta here guy, or I'll add you to the menu. Jesus, the gaul of some people. BBWWWUUUAAARRRPPP. Anyways, I finally began to eat the Earth, which consisted of a single slurp, which also happened to suck in the moon. As they continued to bombard my belly with nuclear missiles, I couldn't help but get a lil bloated! So-

*PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLTHTHTHTHTHTHTHTHTHTHTHTHTHTHBBBBBBB*

I let loose a cosmic wave of flatulence that destroyed the entire galaxy! Which sucked ass, because I was still super hungry, but was just the most arousing shit imaginable, so I came! And as the cum filled the entire universe, it eventually came to me, all of the mass in the universe being taken straight to me by my own tidal wave of cum. So, naturally, I drank all of it, putting all of my own cum and every piece of matter in the universe into my belly. Over the next couple minutes, I finished off any scraps until it was finally just me against the edge of the universe.

Literally, it was pressing up against me, with my dick stretching it out noticeably, literally warping reality around it's immensity. But all that cum and all that mass had made me really need to go to the bathroom... So I did! I began spewing shit across the wall of the universe, as remnants of the universe was sticking out of my shit. At the same time, I released a tidal wave of piss that was yellow as the sun and reeked just as bad as my shit. Within seconds, I was surrounded by nothing but the warm blanket of an infinite amount of my own shit and piss, a feeling so damn hot that I came on the spot, stopping my piss flow so I could shoot out an entire universe worth of cum, which, naturally, finally broke the universal barrier.

As soon as I was in the multi verse, I realized something... Every character I'd ever read or written breaking the barriers of a universe was here. All of them. And they were fat as ever~ And so, I did as anyone would do in my situation... I got to work eating every universe and universe puncturing character (and sometimes IRL friend), shitting out the extra as I went. By the time I was done, it was once again me pressing up against the edge of the universe surrounded by my own shit, but unlike last time, I was still full. So I pushed. I pushed and released the biggest log of shit yet, one bigger than my entire body, the one which finally broke the multiversal barrier... Only to realize. This process was infinite.

And so I ate again, shat again, and kept going. Forever. I'm reaching you from there now. I've broken through over a trillion barriers, and I can't even begin to imagine how big I am in comparison to whatever universe gets this. The characters had stopped showing up a while ago, because I truly never dreamed this big, but I did notice a blob the same size as me in the distance, also covered in their own shit... I wonder.

[oizysian]

How was your day darlin?

Mine was swamped with patients and some extra studies.

But I did come across someone I like and I promptly chickened out by ending the convo 🙂👍

I've known her for a long time but she never came that often to the hospital ( her sister works here as a doc too).

She has got these brown eyes that look green in the sun. I even told her once I love her eyes.

Idk what part of me is not screaming gay like I've got enough tattoos, piercings and muscles.

But she is prolly straight so it's a bust 🥹

I'm sorry for pouring your ask box with my gay ass. 😅

-🥷

My day has been good. Worked out a little (like five minutes it was nothing but I’m gonna do more later I swear) and now I’m just chillin.

Aw no you gotta have hope! Maybe she’s just shy and doesn’t know how to put on the gay like other gays do. You’ve got tattoos, piercings and muscles? Very gay, gaylicious.

You can always use my ask as a vent box! I’m always here to listen and be gay

[lostxcloud]

2024 Lanzarote Spring Sun

Tuesday 9th April

Today was a busy day.

I had been asked to plan a route yesterday. A route to Mirador del Rio to see the sunset.

First stop: Lanzarote Aquarium. We enjoyed looking at the fish and the sharks and stuff. They had an ocean tank with Grey Sharks and a Zebra shark and another with blacktip reef sharks. It was an interesting place.

Lunch: We crossed the road after leaving the aquarium and went to the Grandfather Bar, which had a €6 burger/fries/drink deal. It was actually pretty good.

Second Stop: We had aimed to go to the pirate museum next. We headed into Teguise, and had to loop around once or twice to get to the entrance. Some dude was putting down a barrier and told us we couldn't go to the castle on the hill. We exited and entered a front yard with a billboard next door, and concluded that the museum went out of business a few years back and was turned into houses. We had to give up on the museum... :(

On our way to the next point of interest we came across the Stratified City. A city of volcanic rock, which has been weathered into all sorts of interesting shapes.

Stop 3: Cactus Gardens.

I'd seen this when looking for things to do and dismissed it due to the high winds. Dad and my little brother had also both dismissed it as probably going to be a little bit shit. It was amazing. The bronze work gates, and railings, the wooden cactus themed door handles, the volcanic stone walls and buildings. Not to mention the number of rad cacti that were there. We only had 40 minutes there, but it was awesome.

Stop 4:

We stopped in Arietta and Punta Mujeres to admire the massive crashing waves, which had already demolished the end of their pier.

Stop 5: Casa Museo de César Manrique

We then headed inland to the home of the island's favourite artist, César Manrique. He had some abstract paintings that weren't so well received amongst our number, but his home (a slightly eccentric renovation on an old Palm Orchard Farm House) was really cool. He had a massive conservatory window in his bathroom, but had then walled the outside to prevent onlookers. He also designed Mirador del Rio.

Stop 6: Caleta Del Mojon

Deciding that we had slightly too much time to kill to just go to the viewpoint, we ended up stopping on the side of the road near the coast. The black volcanic rock and the white sand were gorgeous contrasts. The waves were also breaking over the craggy coast reaching 40 feet high. My little brother, dad and I all went out closer to the waves, getting buffeted by the winds, the sea spray, little bits of sand, and the hot sun. It was awesome though.

Stop 7: Mirador Del Rio

We drove back inland towards the viewpoint. But it was (ridiculously) closed. Barrier down and all. We couldn't enter. We couldn't park (there's a one way loop). We couldn't hang around 90 minutes until sunset and my little sister needed to go to the bathroom.

Stop 8: Bar Folelé

We drove back south again to a bar. We had drinks. We tried some pumpkin pie, Grandma Pie and Goats cheese with fig. We then hurried back into the car

Stop 9: Mirador de Guiante

We busted ass getting to the Guiante viewpoint and got to witness the sunset from a fantastic vantage point. And we were relatively sheltered from the wind.

We then headed home in the dark. Ate pizza and then scurried off to bed.

[fablewritesnonsense]

Welcome to the Pizzaplex

Chapter 5: Establishing Boundaries

Felix returns for night shifts, and kind of gets some answers about what happened the night before.

Felix spent the last hour with the Glamrocks looking for whatever snuck in. And then Moon joined them for the last ten minutes. 

At six, Sun came back and skipped back to the daycare, the Glamrocks returned to their green rooms, and Felix waited outside the gates as they opened. Vanessa walked in and nodded at him. 

“I think we had someone or something sneak in last night,” he said, and she immediately frowned. 

“And you didn’t find them?” she asked. 

“The Helpy didn’t see where it went, and I spent the whole last hour casing the building,” he said. “So either they snuck back out or managed to just keep eluding us. Moon couldn’t even find them.” 

“I’ll review the camera footage, go ahead and head home,” she said. “I’ll have an answer for you tonight.” 

He didn’t need to be told twice. 

***

“I’m going to kill you!” Lennox said, whacking him repeatedly with a book after he’d told them what had happened overnight. 

“Ow! That’s not necessary!” He yelled, shielding himself with his arms. They smacked him one more time before settling back into their seat and glaring at him. 

“That fucking thing almost killed you, Felix,” they reminded him. 

“It was bad timing. I should have hid instead of investigating. That one was absolutely my bad. I knew what could happen. Ow!” He rubbed the top of his head as Lennox smacked him again. 

“Not funny, jackass,” they muttered. 

“I wasn’t being funny. It’s their coding or whatever,” he said with a sigh. “Listen, will you please tell me why you hate this place so much but keep going back?” Lennox rolled their eyes, putting their book down. 

“Listen, they’re shady as fuck, bad shit keeps happening there and they keep managing to cover it up. There’s a reason the locals aren’t the ones that end up working for them. They get the out of state college students, or the military family members that get stationed here. Locals know better, that’s all I’m willing to say,” they said. “You want more answers? Ask Jaq. She’s the one that keeps track of all the conspiracy theories.” 

“Thank you for finally explaining,” he said, thinking about the waiver. 

“Yeah, sure, for whatever good it ends up doing you,” they grumbled. He smirked and got up. 

“Well, if you ever want backstage passes-” He was already running down the hall by the time they threw their book at him. 

***

Vanessa was waiting for him again when he showed up the next day. She motioned for him to follow her, and lead him to the security office. 

“This was the footage we found that stood out,” she said, pointing to a screen split into six different cameras. One was him talking to Moon, being held by his ankles. There was a small figure that darted past them while he was trying to talk Moon down. 

“How did you manage to talk him down?” she asked. “We’ve never had anyone do that before. Normally Parts and Services will give him a hardy shock.” Felix did a double-take as the footage repeated. 

“I just reminded him we were work buddies, that he’d seen me at nap time,” he said. Vanesa nodded. 

The next one was outside the vent that he’d checked on, a child size figure running out and dashing through the halls, Helpy poking his little head out a moment later. 

The third was in Monty’s room, a small child sized shadow sneaking through his busted ass room while the lights were out. Had the kid really avoided them for a whole hour? 

“Oh, yeah, Freddy mentioned he’s been messing his room up since he got his claw upgrade. Said it was aggravating,” Felix piped up. Vanessa gave him a sidelong look. 

“Did he?” 

“Well, he said agri-gating-” Vanessa groaned and rolled her eyes.

“God I hate that part of his programming,” she muttered. “We had maintenance put up a curtain and a sign. His room is under renovation until he gets over using those things.” 

The fourth, the kid hid in one of the ships, just avoiding Felix as he checked Kids Cove. Damn, that one really cut it close.  

The fifth, it was rustling around in the kitchen, which was already pretty dimly lit. 

And the sixth… It was just standing on the stage, when was that, shortly after it had ran by him and Moon. 

“All of these times are really close. This kid can really travel,” Felix said. 

“Indeed,” Vanessa said. “So, keep an eye out.” 

“Are you sure you don’t have a child sized bot, maybe that’s what this one is?” he asked. “An experiment that got loose?” She tilted her head before pulling out her walkie. 

“Parts and Services, do we have any leftover Balloon Boys?” she asked. The walkie crackled for a moment. 

“Nope, all trashed a couple years ago when they started chasing kids around,” Scott replied into the microphone. Felix’s eyes grew and he gave Vanessa a concerned look. 

“Thank you,” she replied before turning off the walkie. “So, no. No more child sized bots.” Felix sucked on his teeth and nodded. 

“Cool, so, they’re probably still in here?” he asked. 

“Unless it left during hours,” Vanessa said with a sigh. “We didn’t see any hint of it throughout the day. If you see it, lock it in lost and found. I’ll take care of it in the morning.” Her calling a live child an “it” didn’t sit well with him, but he wasn’t about to have a fit about it to her. 

He followed her out into the atrium, and watched her leave him alone, the gate shutting behind her. He fiddled with the tip of his braid as he did his initial rounds, starting by meticulously checking Kids Cove for any small children, then going around and checking in with each bot. 

This time, when the lights went out, he waited out on the stage, waiting for the kid to make an appearance. 

“Brave, brave hombrecito,” Moon’s voice said, and he turned to see Moon crawling up the stage towards him. “Out during lights out… Naughty Felix-” Felix pulled out a camera he’d grabbed from Monty’s room the previous night and clicked it in Moon’s direction. Moon squealed and his head rapidly flashed to Sun’s and then back again. “Stop that!” 

“I’m going to do it every time you threaten me,” he said calmly, still keeping an eye out. “Look, if these intruders keep getting in, just you and the bots out isn’t going to be of use to anyone. And I don’t appreciate you making me get Roxy involved last night!” 

Moon shuddered at the memory. He’d initially crept up on Felix and gotten blocked by Freddy until Felix had told Roxy that Moon had called her the slowest bot in the building. 

He’d almost proved it right too with how fast he’d ran to escape Roxy’s wrath. 

“So?” 

“So, lay off, just let me do my job, I’m trying to help. You know me,” he said. Moon contemplated this for a moment before nodding. 

Then he saw a shadow of movement behind Moon and quickly snapped a picture again. 

“Gah! Stop that!” Moon said, but Felix was already chasing after. Then the lights clicked on, and the kid was gone. 

***

“Monty! Stop it!” Felix yelled, jogging into the gator’s room as he slashed up his couch. Monty looked up and tilted his head. 

“Why? I’m having fun!” he said, turning to continue slashing. 

“Because the others are getting tired of you making noise!” he said, jogging forward and sitting on what was left of the couch. “And you’re making a mess for the other humans that have to clean up after you! It’s rude. Stop it!” Monty held his hands to his chest anxiously. 

“Why are you mad at me?” he asked softly. Great, now he’d hurt the bot’s feelings. 

“I’m not, but I’ve heard so many complaints from the others about you making noise,” he said. “Chica said she can’t focus on her guitar practice, Roxy said she can’t get into her “number one” headspace, Freddy keeps making terrible puns about it, and the human staff were grumbling about it when they left. Honestly you owe them an apology for making their job harder.” 

Monty looked down and heaved a sigh. How did bots sigh? 

“Okay, fine,” he said. “Just, tell Moon to lay off me?” 

“Is this to keep Moon from messing with you?” Felix asked, finally beginning to understand. Monty nodded. “Okay, sure, I’ll talk to him. Just promise me you’ll behave with those things from now on!” 

“Promise,” Monty said dejectedly. Felix nodded and walked back out of Monty’s room, where the other Glamrocks were waiting. 

“For the love of,” Felix sighed. “Yes, he agreed to stop. You can continue without disruption.” he said, walking under Freddy’s arm. 

“Wait! Felix! What do I do to kill time?” Monty asked, coming out of his room. Felix turned and shrugged. 

“Go get good at Monty Golf, I guess,” he said. Monty nodded and went back into his room to hide in his recharge pod for the upcoming lights out. 

“About time, his slashing was getting irritating,” Roxy said, walking back to her own room. 

Felix was about to reply when he saw another shadow dart into backstage storage. He sprinted over and began scouring the room, but once again, the kid had disappeared. 

***

When Vanessa showed up the next morning, he told her and they looked at the photo he’d managed to take. 

A little boy, maybe eight or nine, with a mop of brown hair and pale skin in a blue polo and khaki shorts.

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Have a wonderful day!

[soulsuckrrs]

amelie·:

The rapid spinning of the tires underneath them felt very symbolic of how Amelie’s head felt. She didn’t know what had possessed her to attempt her job while intoxicated but she did it, and she wouldn’t have been half bad if she had managed to duck that brass candle stick. “Alright. I get it, can you please stop with the berating? You sound like my dad.” She huffed, slumping into the passenger seat as she wearily watched the rear-view mirror. “That’s the problem, I wasn’t thinking. I don’t know what came over me, I’m-...” She stopped herself, realising she was still slightly slurring her words.

She caught a glimpse of her own busted lip in the mirror of the sun visor, her reaction was to pout about it but that only made her wince. “Hm, we match.” Snapping the visor closed she turned to look out the back window, she could faintly see some lights in the distance but they looked slow. “One car but it’s slow, we should be good.” Disappointed in herself she went back to slumping in her chair. “Thanks for saving my ass. But… don’t tell anyone about this, ‘kay?” The blonde looked out of the windshield feeling way too vulnerable for comfort.

                   ――――――――――― ⌽ ―――――――――――

Don’t tell anyone, as if he were some gossiping dumbass and not a professional. Irritation and pain furrowed Raydan’s brow but what concerned him the most was that he could tell Amelie’s words were slurring and now that they were so close and in a vehicle he could also smell the underlying tone of alcohol. A grunt left his lips and his dark eyes snapped over to the blonde as she shifted back in her seat, confirming that there was a car but that it was slow, in truth that didn’t entirely answer his question but the man took it in stride. Merging onto the main highway where he went into a sort of autopilot, moving in and out between traffic and checking the rear view mirror to be sure he actually lost the slow pursuing vehicle. 

So she hadn’t been thinking and she had been attempting to work while intoxicated. Raydan had little room to even think negatively about it but because he stuck his damn neck out to get her out of harms way the irritation was evident as he huffed another breath. Another sweep of his dark brown eyes over her form, noting the busted lip they shared and few other scrapes that adorned her skin. Raydan let silence overtake them and it made the air between them thick with the heat of after battle tension. His jaw flexed before he breathed out through his nose and focused his gaze on the road once again, taking an exit just to get off the highway again.

“What’s going on with you?” He asked finally after quite a few minutes of silence and tension, his tone was low but not shy of the concern he truly had for her and he would entirely say it was only professional, especially since he felt slightly responsible for her since being employed by her father. If she wanted to open up, she could, but if she didn’t want to he would take the hint and leave it alone. Raydan wasn’t one for feelings or talking about them. hell, he was one of few words unless infuriated. As his question hung in the air Raydan almost regretted asking it, were she to truly tell him what was going on, the mercenary wasn’t entirely sure how he would respond or even if he should. Shit, why couldn’t he have just sat in silence like he typically would have? His head shook and he shot a glance in the mirror one more time before letting his eyes fall on Amelie again.

[thevampirearchive]

Commentary on Interview With The Vampire - Episode 1 (Spoilers)

Shorter thoughts vers

Barely fully in and it already looks beautiful. Was the budget in the billions because this shit is so crisp, fuck!

Hannah Baker was out-fucking performed. TAPES RO HARRASS A DYING MAN WHO DIDNT USE YOUR VAMPIRE SECRET? Lestat would be so proud!

I am so happy this is the direction they chose — brining us to modern time, the only time I wanna hear about the pandemic in entertainment media. And all while humanity does, Louis is stuck in his high tower with some high tech ass Dubai apartment? Purr.

Nvm, Mans seem sick of it lmao. Stuck there in his own personal house-coffin (I’d still prefer a coffin, and I feel like Lestat would have never chosen a place penthouse. He’s too French for modern builds. “Louis? NO QUALITY WOODEN COFFIN?” He’d say, in a French accent, in disgust.

I am a whore for period piece and they’re taking us to 1910 AND New Orleans? Spoiled. We’ve been spoiled.

Gosh the vulgar language, I am shaking from excitement! Pls!

I know a lot of black folks hate it when they have the white say the n-word, but that ‘unhand me nigger’ comment killed me, that white man forgot where he was for a second

I too agree, anal without consent is against god (I screamed, the whores are funny)

Not Paul tryna play captain save a Ho, man’s brough a Bible Too — I love him.

THE BRAWL! And this whole time Lestat is watching like it’s forplay for later.

HE PULLED A SWORD ON HIS OWN BROTHER? That’s cold Lou, but I respect it, gotta do what you gotta do.

Lestat watching, BRICKED UP, and I cannot believe nobody’s falling in love like this ANYMORE. WE USED RO BE A SOCIETY! (How I imagine Lestat internally, as he watch his man pull a whole sword out of his Pimp 3000 Cain)

Pls not the disgusted faces on the white men watching Louis walk in!!! Fighting for their lives to not say sum — TRY IT :^b

The lines should have been “damn so they just letting anybody in” so I could have really lost it. His racism wasn’t racist enough — I predicted they’d make him a proper French (racist) but they didn’t drive it all the way, and I get why. Can’t have the protagonist calling the other protagonist a nigger after all (well I haven’t seen Ep. 2 so perhaps) but it would be accurate. I just don’t believe white ppl weren’t racist, even the DOCTOR was sliming it around and that’s the homie, y’a know?

Awww Lestat is like a tarot girlie after watching one Tiktok reading and suddenly she sees 11.11 everywhere. “Ah Louis?! I was heading to St. Louis? Hahah so you’re my saint haha”, Lestat pls you look desperate pls breath baby breath (same tho)

His French is so good!  Ça m’a pris par surprise! Qu’est-ce qu’il est français ou il est juste un bon acteur? I could Google it, but how else will I flex that I too, speak French. Lestat is actually my cousins neighbor, oui oui baguette.

LMAOOOO “that explains the attire” SHOTS FIRED. Man’s came for his whole fit, and Lestat laughed it off cuz he’s in love, wow.

Lestat is such a scorpio sun libra Mercury scorpio mars because who tells a story, LEANS FOR A SLUTTY KISS and continues with the same elegance? He’s such a slut, I love it!

The way he just had foreplay and the whole time Louis fighting for his life to not bust. Cuz what? Watching a man touch a woman that way with their gaze fixed on you only? He’s playing with you Lou! RUN (not to fast tho, make it clap as you go tihi)

Am I wrong for thinking Louis was not just mad that Lestat froze him but that he knows without much effort? He knows Louis a raging homosexual and it’s been what? Minutes? Pls!

“I’ve emptied a bank volt to sample” LESTAT! He’s a whore but I’m still shocked, I knew this BUT IM STILL SHCOKED!

He really saw Louis in the act for seconds and decided to not just stay but get a home, furnish it, get a wardrobe, ignore that it’s basically a red light district (sure there’s buisness but he comes off too french to ever accept to live near the sound of cheeks being clapped) JUST cuz Louis is there. When will it be me god?

“You are his destiny Louis”— istfg if I do not experience this soon I will combust. PlS!

The bidding war was so hot and then he placed his ring and I felt it in every fiber of my being. Can’t beleive Lilly didn’t say ‘just get y’a cocks out and let’s do it the proper way’ the way they were slinging

Louis’ idk if I wanna be him, beat him or fuck him moment was real, man’s was fighting gay thoughts with all his might (and looses, later)

His mind filled with just Lestat huh? So the gay thought’s won? I wonder if he tells Lestat that? If he does I think lestat’s head will grow too big for his hats.

Thé poker game was smooth and I love how Louis just went meh, and didn’t question the time freezing, the voice in his mind or the enormous compliment — you are worth more, king. Big ups.

Pls Not them having put and Louis bring smt to read, he’s such a weirdo bro we know you know he’s basically taking you out on dates and you love it! PUT THE BOOK DOWN AND FLIRT BACK *holds up a gun*

THE CINEMA! Such cultured lads! I love them. Out here watching while Lestat watching his snack, I MEAN HIS MAN, I MEAN HIS BUISNESS PARTNER

‘He’s not white he’s French’ — this is what all white Man’a whore tell themsleves. Didn’t I fucking predict they’d say that? Lmaoo I did!

NOT HIM CALLING HIS MOM MAMMA DU LAC! He’s tryna fit in and Paul fighting back from saying sum (not too hard tho cuz now he’s going in lmao GET HIM LIL BRO)

“What’s the nature of your relationship with my brother” All my mind can think off is ‘everybody knows… everybody knows that he fucks you’. Cuz why would he ask that? Clearly that’s your future brother in law AND PAUL KNEW! The voices told him he was amongst the gays tihi

Okay Lestat pls don’t trauma dump on Paul lmao, answer the question or politely ignore it cuz I feel like Paul has some ‘you’ve got the wrong time but the right bitch’-him and just swing cuz what? But I think he’s being pulled in so he couldn’t even move if he wanted to.

NOT LOUIS SETTING IT STREIGHT! Idk why I thought he’d be a pushover after all the dreamy stairs Lestat has given him:)

This is all I can imagine Lestat thinking as he dinned with black ppl probably for the first time ever — rich and educated at that.

Please! A Lilly for his front pocket and a Lilly for Louis to do nothing with but entertain him, tihi

Not her revealing he’s gay, girl, bffr. “It’s okay” this strange white man now knows too fucking much babes but whatever

THE ALMOST TOUCH! I had to close the screen sorry I am used to fluff only (no I am not, but that yanked me)

now he’s in his head, fucking his mind and eyes and watching him get hard for him cuz Lilly ain’t doing shit but be a buffer. A pretty buffer getting a taste of Lestats man FOR NOW! Good *gets closer to screen* IS THAT FINGER SUCKING? Even pulling away in disgust was not convincing babes, !BE WHO YOU ARE!

THE FIGHT FOR DOMINANCE! MY GOSH AND THE RELEASE! It’s like he was pretending before going full ‘yeah now after we’ve kissed and touched titties, you know I’m into it so let me chill’ and he went lax, and now they floating, fucking and sucking. Gosh, this better win an award.

No because I fully beleive being drank from by a vampire is the closest thing humans will ever get to experience true euphoria and that’s why I will not simply be turned immediately. MAKE ME YOUR BLOODBAG FOR AT LEAST SEVEN DAYS AND SEVEN NIGHTS PLS I need to feel the THRILL

That was the most romantic, tender yet agressive love making bloodsucking scene I’ve ever witnessed. I’m bricked up, down there and up here (holds heart)

The wedding! This about to be good cuz y’all know black ppl know how to celebrate!

ARGH THE MONEY TO HER DRESS! The diaspora is ALIVE!

Thé dancing! Arghhhh this show is so freaking black, I love it! Anne is probably rolling in her grave, arguing with Satan to be resurrected so she can sue. Love it here

THE THROWN MONEY! YAAAAAAAS! Y’all don’t understand! This how we really be!!!! Black folks RISE! This one’s for us!

Now they climbing a whole roof just to … see the sunset? Babes… bffr.

Awww “I love you-“ why did that sound like a Goodby! Where is HEGOING NO-

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Noooooooo! I’m fenna cry, PLEASE NOT PAUL! (I knew he dies but I also forgot but I also was just enjoying myself and they caught me slipping. Now I’m pausing to take deep breaths…)

And that was his last sunrise? Yeah, cuz the fucking cameras.

Pls not death is boring… Speak for yourself, some of us have yet to try >:( ( but I’ll probably agree. It’s so inevitable like boo, give us smt fresh, smt unexpected!)

Not his mama tryna blame him… pushed? Babes be fucking Fr rn. Fuck sakes. And his sister not defending or nun. She probably wanted him gone and now she got it.

I just feel bad cuz suicide is a sin and still he did it :/ sad.

MANS PULLED UP TO THE FUNERAL! Lestat you are sick (I love it). PLEASE NOT HIM ACTUALLY NOT GAF! Didn’t even wear black, even tho I know that wardrobe fully stocked!

“Not here” Louis says and Lestat is on sims ‘I texted, I called, I send a pigeon and nothing, ignoring me huh?

THE GASP THAT LEFT ME! NO LESTAT YOU CANT SAY THAT AT THE WALK TO THE FUNERAL! All in attempt to ‘pick me, choose me, love me’ into Louis’ heart, now Louis ready to fist fight you in the same streets you fell for him tsk me tsk tsk. Maybe y’all should step to the side and kiss. Cuz clearly Lestat was NOT leaving …

This is the lvl of toxic and possessiveness I thought I’d see in twilight… y’all fooled me. Cuz Bella would have loved this ngl and I’d have loved it more but Edward is a runner and a track star. Lestat tho? He’d probably kill the whole town for Louis to notice him.

This man went to the burial, didn’t even wait for his obsessive fangirl behavior, AND he killed Lilly leaving nobody for Louis to turn to. Now man’s fighting for his life and all I’m wondering is why no other vampire in history has ever been this obsessive so I’d know this is how fucked up I am (derogatory) wow. Went to every fucking limits just so Louis wouldn’t know peace.

NOT THE CONFESSIONAL WITH THE PRIEST! Louis you don’t even beleive! It’s giving “Ariana! What are you doing here!”

Did Lestat not think of the priest? Tsktsk didn’t even eliminate all sources of outlet! Should have burnt the church, house, brothers and had every townsman flee just to get a text back. For legal reasons I am joking…

Nvm, he barely got into the juicy bits before man’s was dragged out and is now being devoured. (Kinda hot. Didn’t even let Louis finish)

At this point, whenever Louis doesn’t breath is Lestat direction it’s PICK ME CHOOSE ME LOVE ME. He’s so obsessive *plays obsessed by Mariah Carey*

All I see is Lestat being so angry and hurt that Louis went to confess to a god he does not beleive in before he came to Lestat. Like damn. You’d rather come here then come to me ? “Do I mean that little to you-“ type of hurt. :( Aww babes, he’s just afraid cuz once he comes to you, it’s over. That’s the beginning of a life he doesn’t beleive he can have and he’s want all of you … can’t be gay and black in these parts (time + place) I fear

Please not the stabbing! 😭 babes pls you know this man isn’t a regular man, he drank from you and you decided to never speak to him again for a reason.

Pls not the slowmo! It looks so fucking cool! Even when he eats ppl it’s so agressive and looks so painfull! Love messy eater vampires.

“I’m not the devil- but I can give you death-“ Pls why has nobody offered me this ?? It’s not fair! “I love you Louis, you are loved.” Nawl I’m fenna cry. (And I am crying)

Envious that this is not my character arch, I am stuck consuming it rather then being CONSUMED! He wanted to create an infinity Between them. Remove death AND life from the equation!

That was the most beautiful asking ever. The way their just :’) This is such a tender, romantic, loving moment. That moment was … beautiful. I have no words! I too forgot the barbaric scene (lmao as did Louis ofc)

AND THEN CAME THE NOD! THE KISS AND THE BITE! The way he kissed him, alone, I could tell he released all fears and pain he had in this life. Fear of loving a man, of being who he was, pain of being at fault for things — for his role as a pimp, him as a son, a brother to his brother, a provider for his family. The one who promised his father strength without truly ever wanting it but doing it because he was good at it. He was hurting so much and Lestat just liberated him (too bad Louis doenst realize this too is a prison, but with a nice view, unhinged love of your life and a future daughter, have fun)

That was perfect. The description of the transformation — THE HAARTBEATS! Gosh I wanna be able to have senses heightened this much! ImGAINE!

I am SCREAMING it was so quick! I’m a whore for varsity in transformations! Some vampires die and require burials. Some are dead for much longer! EVERYYING! EVERYTHING

This was dead ass the best vampire tv show I’ve ever seen. They gave me black ass moments and I am living! TENDERNESS, POSSESSION! OBSESSION, trauma, laughter, depth! Script was INCREIDBLE! These are really good writers! What a team! And the actors? Give those two their fucking awards RIGHT NOW!

I cannot believe we’re witnessing the best vampire show unfold right before us.

[not-a-space-alien]

Magnanimous Moonrise Chapter 4M

In this chapter:  Valen turns out to be one of those dogs who only like women and growls at men 

Story masterpost

Here is the corresponding chapter in the complementary story.

Content/content warnings for this chapter: Nonconsensual bondage/restraint/being trapped, gag/muzzle, heavy emotional distress

Valen heard voices outside, more voices.  Men’s voices.

That raised his hackles.

“Ari, you son of a bitch!  You actually did it?”

Valen felt the van dip under him, as presumably Ari got up.  “What, like it’s hard?  How come you all haven’t managed it yet?”

They were talking about him like he was a particularly wily rabbit in their snare.  They were laughing and congratulating each other.  I’m going to die here.  Die, or something worse.

“We sent your girl straight to the ER when she came in,” said one of the men.  “Her face was busted, man.”

“Don’t call my girlfriend’s face busted.”

“We get it, you’re gay.”

“Bisexual.”

“Same thing.”

Valen winced as the back door was thrown open, three human silhouettes outlined by the terrifying sun behind them.  “Shit,” said one of the men.  “You really do just have a whole ass vampire in your car, huh.”

“What did you fucking think?  That we just brought back his leg or something?”

“Damn, woman, don’t bite my ear off.”  Valen watched in terror as one of the men clambered up into the cargo space next to him, leaning over to look at him.

“Don’t look him in the eye,” said the other man.  “They can use persuasion that way.”

“Some of them,” said the first man.  He blinked at Valen, but he had already averted his eyes, gaze glued to the man’s shins a foot away from his face.

“I guess this one can’t,” said Ari.  “Or he would have done it already.”

“Unless he’s just biding his time.”

Valen squeezed his eyes shut.

“So are you lazy fucks gonna help me move him inside or did you just come out here to gawk at him?”

“Geez, fine.  This thing got handles on it?”

“Yeah, on the sides.  I think it’s a two-person job.”

No no no no no.  They were going to drag him out into the sun while he was locked into place, unable to even throw his hands up to shield his face, or open his mouth to scream and plead.

His chest heaved in terrified gasps as hands came on the handles, starting to drag him forward.  He felt heat on his boots as they came out into the sun.

“Oh, hold on a minute,” said Ari’s voice, and mercifully the sliding stopped.  The sound of her footsteps on gravel.  Cloth rustling.  He kept his gaze trained on the ceiling, his quaking rattling the chains slightly.

He saw Ari’s hands tossing something on top of the cage.  His cloak.  She pulled it across until the top half of the cage was covered, his exposed skin enveloped in shadow.

Thank you, he thought, almost crying at how low he’d sunken that this was a relief for him.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

“What’s the matter?  You afraid of hurting it?”

“I don’t give a shit about its feelings,” Ari snapped.  “I’m just doing it because Lex would be upset if he got burnt.”

“Sure, sure.  Softie.”

“Hey this is just like when I put a blanket over my birdcage.  It makes them go to sleep.  They think it’s night.”

You have a bird? Valen thought.  I want to see the bird.

There was a round of laughter.  Despite his terror, he felt a twinge of jealousy again, wishing he were in a position where he could partake in the camaraderie.

The world tilted as they lifted him down and out of the van.

“Shit, he’s heavy.”

“It’s the cage, dumbass.  It’s gotta weigh like a thousand pounds.”

Valen closed his eyes against the filtered sunlight coming through the cloak–it was mercifully scant, but he felt it stinging.  Just a little.

He heard the sound of a garage door opening, then the sun faded.  He shuddered in relief.

More metal rattling, the sound of reinforced doors being unlocked.  The hands carried him deeper into the belly of the beast, into the heart of the den.

He felt his prison being lowered to the ground, then come to a stop with a thump.

More voices.

“Woah, shit, it actually worked.”

“Oh my god, you actually got one.”

“Holy shit, Ari.  Let me see it.”

All men’s voices.  Valen’s face twisted into an unseen snarl, and with savageness that surprised even himself, he let out a rolling growl, slamming his head into the top of the cage so hard it banged off the floor for a brief second.

The cloak slipped off the cage and pooled onto the floor, letting him see the full view of all the hunter’s shocked faces as they took a step back.  His forehead felt warm, dark blood leaking from his skull, visible soaking his white hair.  He ground his teeth on the bit, hackles still raised.

“Je-je-sus,” said one of the men.  “Be-be careful with that thing.”

He peeled his upper lip all the way back, exposing the full length of his fangs.  That’s right.  Be afraid of me.  You fucking bastard.  I’ll kill you if I get the chance.  Stay the fuck away from me.  I hate you.  Don’t touch me.

His eyes flitted over to the doorway as Lex came back in, now with a bandage on her nose.  Her eyes fell on Valen.  She looked worried.  She apparently thought better of offering a comment though.  “Where’s Nick?”

“He’s on the phone with the director.”

Valen’s ears perked up, straining to hear the noise in the background now.  With his preternatural hearing, now that he knew to listen for it, he could faintly hear the sound of a voice talking on the phone.

Oh boy, whoever was on the other end of the line sounded angry.

“Oh boy,” said Ari.  “I bet he’s just thrilled with this new development.”

“I thought he gave Nick the OK to do this?” said another hunter.  “He authorized Nick to put a bounty on bringing a live vampire back.”

The other hunters laughed.

“Yeah,” said one wryly.  “To get him to shut up.  He didn’t think anyone would actually do it.”

“The director was bluffing,” said Ari.  “Because vampires are so damn hard to catch live because of persuasion, he thought none of us could do it.  He doesn’t actually want a vampire in the building.”

A glimmer of hope.  Maybe if whoever was in charge wasn’t happy, that would mean he could get out of here.  But…no, a human would probably just want him to be killed instead.

Valen’s attention snapped back to Lex as she braced herself on the cage.  “Hah!  That’ll show him.  And he’s contractually obligated to pay out the bounty.”

Another human came into his field of view, a man’s hand.  He headbutted the wires above him again, bearing the brunt of the stinging silver if it meant getting a chance at scaring him off.  Don’t fucking touch me.

The hunter jerked his hand back without actually putting any of his fingers through the bars enough to reach.  A pity.  “Yeesh…Well, Nick can have him.”

“Speaking of,” said Ari.

Another man had appeared in the doorway, an unhinged smile on his face.  “You did it.  Thank you!  Thank you!”

Oh, thought Valen.  Oh no.  He didn’t like the look of this guy at all.  Unlike the others, he seemed excited to see him, not scared.  He shuddered.  That…didn’t seem good.

The other hunters reacted to his presence as well; they all looked slightly less at ease.  Lex tugged at Ari’s arm.  “Come on, Ari.  You have to get your leg seen to.”

No no no no.  Don’t leave me here with them.

“Wait, ladies, I have to give you the bounty for your hard work!”  The newcomer circled the cage like a shark.  “And, everyone, after some…heated discussion…with the director, he has simply given me the guidelines that, for safety, we can only open the coffin when at least two people are present."

This wretched device they'd locked him in was called the coffin. Fitting, but it made his blood boil. Is this a joke to you?

"So who wants to be the lucky volunteer and help me take this specimen downstairs?”

“I will,” Lex said quickly.

Was Valen imagining this?  Was it wishful thinking?  Was he projecting, or did Lex seem to actually care a little bit?

“I see how it is,” said Ari.  “Rather spend time playing with Nick in the basement than helping your poor, hurt girlfriend to the nurse.”

Lex stammered, “We can–We can do that together and then go help Nick right afterwards.”

“Well,” said the upsettingly enthusiastic man, “I don’t hear any other volunteers, so…”  He beamed.  “I’ll wait right here for you to get back!”

Valen watched their boots squeak out of sight, further into the compound.  He kept his eyes fixed on them, purposefully ignoring the man hovering above him.

The other hunters dispersed slowly, until Valen was alone with Nick.

Valen felt Nick’s eyes on him.  His fearful trembling started back up.  He refused eye contact for as long as he could, until he couldn’t stand it anymore.

Nick was just grinning at him.  He wished he hadn’t looked.  “We’re going to have so much fun together.”

***

Tag list <3

@annablogsposts

@oddsconvert

@pumpkin-spice-whump

@soursagas

@whumpsday

[jaunes-erotic-world]

XXX: Jaune gets chosen to deal with Blake while she’s in heat

Her fingers? No help. Toys? Not enough. Yang going to town on both her hole with a two pronged strapon? Close but it still didn't sate the primal urge. She needed a real cock, thick meaty that shot real plenty of fertile cum into her, Blake needed to smell the musky salty scent of a man sweating as he rammed her.

Sun was a one pump minute man so he was less helpful that her fingers were. Thankfully Jaune was there to take care of her.

Blake knew she was going to be saved from the agonizing itch as soon as the blond knight dropped trow revealing a foot of wrist thick human fuck meat.

Blake instinctively got on her arms and knees and raised big bouncy Bellabooty in the air shaking it side to side to entice the Alpha male to take her as his mate. Jaune saw her need her mouth and pussy were drooling uncontrollably, her puffy pussy lips were bright red, sweat covered body so much it looked like someone slathered her perfect behind in baby oil.

Jaune slammed his cock deep inside her snatch ramming all the way to her cervix causing her cry out as an orgasm shook her body. The thin cat like pupils in her golden eyes got thinner and thinner as the shockwaves of the orgasm spread through out her body. As her body came back down her long ebony locks, soaked with sweat, covered her face as she panted heavily.

"You good to continue or you need to stop," Jaune said unsure if he'd be able to stop with how good her pussy felt.

Blake's head turned slowly to face him, even before she spoke Jaune knew her answer because instead of black cat like pupils in the center of Blake's eyes were pink hearts. "Show me no mercy, fuck me as hard as you like, no even harder than that, stretch my pussy so no man other than you can enjoy it, treat me like a toy, breed me fill me with you thick human cum till I'm fat with your children!" Blake cried out.

With that confirmation Jaune fucked Blake like a man possessed his slammed inside her over and over hitting g spots on the way to continuing to slam her cervix. Every thrust made wzves in the jiggly flesh of Blake's ass prompting several spankings. Blake felt like she was cumming with every thrust till Jaune busted his first load flooding her womb with cum.

He grabbed her thighs and picked her up and fucked her in front of Weiss's standing mirror making her watch her face contort in an addict for human cock.

Soon he threw her onto a bed where he piston fucked her as well as wrapping his hands around her throat and she loved it opening her mouth wide to catch and drool or sweat that dripped down on her.

............

Two days later Blake's friends were happy to see her back to her old self, except for Jaune who knew that under her uniform was a womb tattoo with his family crest on it.

[shiggyscumrag]

How the Haikyuu Boys react to their chubby s/o wearing their clothes

Hello hello hello! I hope your having a good day/night/afternoon :) Anyways I have a mha and demon slayer one as well so yeah, I linked them for easier access :D

Hinata Shoyo

I headcanon Hinata as a closet perv so he would LOVE seeing you in his boxers and his clothes

Seeing all your pretty rolls, big breasts, and love handles makes him almost bust a nut

Deadass would sneak pics of your ass and tits that bust out of his too small clothes

"Sho I dont think this'll fit babe." You say holding up Hinatas tiny shirt and boxers.

"Just give it a try sweet cheeks!" He said giving a wide smile that could rival the sun. I mean how could you say no to that sweet plead. Reluctantly you went to the bathroom to change. You came out in the very tight, very short clothing your boyfriend so earnestly let you borrow.

"OH BABY YOU LOOK SO GOOD! Now come here and let me hold you-"

Kageyama Tobio

He is kinda like Todoroki in the fact that he didnt really know swapping clothing could be a form of affection

So when you first wear his clothes it was on complete accident

You would be like cooking or something and you would spill something on you and he would offer you some of his clothes

Of course you oblige at first because you felt insecure about not being able to fit but he insisted and you change into a pullover and sweatpants of his

When he sees you he gets so flustered. Still has his stoic face but with a flush across it.

"Tobio could I borrow some clothes since these are clearly ruined?" You said gesturing to your now egg covered body.

"Sure, I'll to grab some." He says leaving from the kitchen to his room. That's when it hit you. What if I cant fit his clothes? You'd make an absolute fool of yourself. God how stupid would you feel and you wouldnt wanna make him feel bad. He came back and gave you the clothes to and change into. They didnt look to small but will definently be a bit snug. You hesitantly walk out of the bathroom back to the kitchen where he is waiting patiently. He turns at the feeling of your presence. Immediatly flustered. The sight of your in his clothes has butterflies in his stomach and the way your cute little rolls show through his shirt make his pants uncomfortably tight. His heart clambering as he mumbles out a 'nice'. The reaction has you feeling a little better. You could tell he was flustered and nervous. Way better than being disgusted.

Unexpectedly he came up to you holding you tight in his arms face buried in your neck. You could feel the heat emitting off his body. You like this,it's nice. You'll have to wear his clothes more often.

Kuroo Tetsuro

IMMEDIATELY starts flirting with you.

The minute you walk out wearing his team jacket he says some cheesy pick up line that has you cringing lsmfbdkdl-

He would ADORE you wearing any article of clothing of his, he is obsessed with the idea and when he finally sees you actually wearing his clothes prepare for his wardrobe to now become your own.

"Damn, you're lookin like a whole snack baby! Could I get a taste?" He smirked teasingly as he leaned closer to your face. you had stolen some of his clothes to wear since you decided to stay over at his place last minute.

"Kuroo your so cheesy!" You say as you covered your now reddening face. ot was cute how he flirted, typical and not really smooth or funny but cute none the less. It hojeslty made you feel a lot better and more comfortable. His clothes were a little form fitting on you but they were way more comfortable then your clothes.

"But you clearly love it, getting all flustered~"

Bokuto Kotaroū

Bokuto would be similar to Kageyamas scenario in the fact that you wearing his clothes was and accident

You guys were messing around and you got dirty to the point of no repair so he threw some of his clothes at you and shooed you away to the bathroom to change. So when things were a little snug, you shyly came out of the bathroom.

And once you come back a little shy at the tighter fit he just simply engulfs you and praises you to no end

"Here think fast!" Bo shouts and chucks a tshirt and shorts at you. You caught them with your face as you both simply laughed it off. You made your way to go change into the clothes he just threw at your face. You gotta be honest with yourself and admit your a little doubtful that his clothes might fit but tried them on anyways. You didnt want to make him upset.

After a few minutes you come back to his cross cross applesauce form waiting for you with a smile. He turned to look at you and you could've sworn you saw smoke blow out his ears and hearts fill his eyes. Before you could even get a word in he smothered you.

"Y/N YOU LOOK SO PRETTY!" He shouted as he paraded around you looking over you at every angle. You obviously get a bit flustered from all the attention. He stops at your front and gives you one last passionate kiss right in the lips. Man can this man make you swoon. "PLEASE WEAR MY CLOTHES EVERYDAY!"

Atsumu Miya

Mans is like Kuroo in the way he immediately starts flirting

Except his turns physical way faster than Kuroo

He would man handle you into his lap and just start making out with you. You in his boxers and got him all hot and bothered and now your gonna have to pay for it slfmfhbdkdld-

"Damn- I knew I snagged a hottie but fuck do you look good." Atsumu stated as he basically eye fucked you from across the room.

"Atsumu-" you started rolling your eyes when you were stopped midsentence as you were practically tackled onto his bed. He towered above you encasing you between his arms.

"I love seeing you in my clothes and all but right now they'll just have to occupy the floor-"

Yamaguchi Tadashi

He is so flustered klyjrhdkdl

He would be the typical sweet reaction of rambling on and on about how cute you look and how he loves you in his clothes

He would smother you in affection, expect kisses, hugs, and cuddles!

He only discovers how much he loves you wearing his clothes until you ask to wear his hoodie and his heart swoons at the sight of you.

You pull the hoodie over your head and snuggly hug your form. His favorite green hoodie with a simple bee embroidery on the left pec area now on your body.he couldn't help the little whine that came form histhroat. You were just to darn cute!! Face flushed and hands now all over your form as he plants sweet little kisses all over your face causing you to burst into a for of giggles.

"Yams! Yams what are you- haha! Tadashi that tickles!" You playfully shouted as Yamaguchi was now laying on top of you leaving little kisses on every visible skin he could reach.

"I cant help it! You just look to adorbale! How did I get so lucky!" He said connecting your lips to his.

[bajitheestallion]

self indulging sooo...

the kawata twins have 4c hair, and it's their wash day

money trees ; kendrick lamar / your teeth in my neck ; kali uchis / doves in the wind ; sza

SOUTA most definitely has a set playlist for his washdays, mostly of sza, j. cole, brent faiyaz, tyler the creator, etc etc

he wakes up late asf at like 8pm and already wants to quit and just do it the next day

but he eventually peels himself out from his comfortableness of the room and makes his way into the bathroom and just stares at himself for a solid five minutes before calling you over

eventually you show up like a surgeon, you definitely know what you're doing

you show up, making your way to the bathroom and he still looks exhausted, sitting on the rug in front of the tub and he just stares at you until you get the hint

with a tired sigh, you start running the water and sit beside him, switching it to the shower head

"did you just wake up?" he nods gently as the warm water touches his scalp

whenever you help him out, he's always tired

him and his brother make it so that their wash days are seperate on their days off

so of course he's exhausted, considering his plans were the whole day were to be knocked out until the sun comes up again

though he does start waking up as you let your hands massage his scalp, his eyes still closed as he enjoys the warm water feeling as a blanket

but it passes pretty quickly, you're both finished and you wrap the towel around his hair

he's never able to do that shit where people wrap their hair up in towels... so he's enjoying the most of it before you take it down

his playlist is surprisingly long, and he was always pleased with the results that spotify shuffled for him

he's sitting between your legs on the floor on a couch pillow

you take down the towel and enjoy the fruity scent he and his brother always had for their shampoo

that boy hates blow dryers, you know he does

its like holding a cat down to take a bath

hes gritting his teeth bc its too hot LMFAOOO

but eventually it's over, you braid it down and gel it and oil it etc etc etc

he prefers bonnets over durags, but he'll wear one if he can't find his bonnet

you both just lay around for the rest of the day, probably watching whatever movie you can find before he passes out on your lap

solid 9/10, easy experience and quick to get over (except for that busted ass blowdryer)

and he'll try to help you when it's your turn,,,,, but there is no way in hell he can braid

blinds ; amine / girls in the hood ; megan thee stallion / all falls down ; kanye west

NAHOYA is a different situation

he actually enjoys his wash days since he gets to see you, so obviously he's wide awake

no set playlist, midway with his head in the sink he's reaching for his phone to switch the song since bryson tiller or some shit started playing

it'd be about mmmmm 11 am, so it's not ruining either of your days too much

he probably has plans later, depending on how well the day goes

he prefers washing his hair in the sink just because

so you start working on his shits and he's talking so much

he probably isn't even talking, he's just singing to his music and nudging your stomach since he knows you know the words since you literally suggested the song

sometimes you'll get the shampoo in his eye and he's close to busting out in tears

eventually you get the soap out, and then you're done washing

but even if you are, he isn't

hair masks, conditioner, ANOTHER hair mask, and then he's done, quickly standing

he took his shirt off because there was really no point in wearing it

there's a specific song. that plays. and it's like a fucking switch

PLUS IT CHANGES LIKE EVERY TIME YOU'RE OVER

so if the song that he did it too before came on, 90/10 chance it might not even get a reaction

but if it does

he's wrapping an arm around your waist and he's singing to it, who cares if his hair is wet

you hold onto the towel hanging from his neck and join him

you both do this for maybe four or five more songs, falling on the couch with his head on your stomach

he lets you continue doing your shit and keeps singing but it's way more controlled

he doesn't care for durags nor bonnets, but he looks good in a durag

wish me luck w/ my hair </33

[queenxxxsupreme]

A Soft Heart, A Sweet Soul

A/N: Honestly couldn’t tell you where this came from. It started off as an idea of Kieran coming to Arthur and reader for advice on how to talk to Mary-Beth because I absolutely adore Kieran and Mary-Beth but then it ended up turning into some camp shenanigans and well.... this happened??? This takes place at Horseshoe Overlook.

Warnings: none, this is pure fluff and camp shenanigans

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: Kieran comes to you and Arthur for dating advice. 

**gif isnt mine**

“What’re ya workin’ on?” 

You tore your eyes away from the article of clothing in your hands to watch Arthur. He pulled up a chair just across from you and took out a cigarette.

“Just patching up some clothes. A fella I know likes to go around gettin’ into bar fights and scraps with a whole bunch of wild animals. He’s too hard on his clothes.”

He grunted as he lit the cigarette and leaned back in his seat. 

“I ain’t that hard on clothes.”

“I have to patch somethin’ of yours every other day.” You teased, a grin coming to your lips. 

He swatted a hand playfully at you, shaking his head. 

“I don’t believe it.”

“What’s this from, Arthur?” You held the shirt you were currently working on up to show him the hole in the front of the shirt. 

“That one wasn’t even my fault.” Arthur paused for a moment to look around camp, searching for someone. His eyes landed on Charles, who was brushing down Taima at the hitching posts. “That man over there started a fight in Valentine! Didn’t ya, Charles?”

“Charles would do no such thing.” You looked over at Charles, who wore a faint grin but didn’t look in your direction. “You didn’t start that fight, did you?”

“I didn’t start it, but I did finish it.”

“See, Arthur? He’s too nice.”

“Nice my ass.” Arthur muttered with the cigarette between his lips. “Anyways, the fella I was fightin’ tried to stab me but he wasn’t too good with a knife. Only caught the shirt.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll let that one pass since you did a terrible job at blaming Charles for causing it.” You nodded softly, biting your bottom lip to try to hide a grin. 

“Them pants that you have over your lap have a busted out knee.”

“Yeah, I noticed when I was tryin’ to wash them. What did you do?”

“I, uh, I tripped.” Arthur tried to cough to hide what he was saying but just as he spoke Javier was passing by behind him. 

“You what?”

“Shut up, Javier. This don’t involve you.” Arthur waved Javier off but Javier wasn’t giving up so easily. 

“No, no, it does now.” He put one hand on the back of Arthur’s chair. “What happened, Arthur?”

Arthur grunted and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“I tripped goin’ down a hill when I was out.” He shook his head, holding the cigarette between his index and middle finger. “The hills over there in the Grizzlies East are steep. Hosea had me out huntin’ and didn’t warn me that it was so steep. And the rocks were loose under my boots and it all happened so fast-,”

“Poor baby.” You frowned, trying your best to not laugh. Javier didn’t shy away from laughing at him though as he moved away from you, throwing his head back and holding his stomach. The other few people around you, including Charles, Karen, and Hosea, also laughed. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Arthur took a drag from the cigarette. “Laugh at me and my clumsiness.”

You reached over to pat his knee

A comfortable silence seemed to fall over camp. It was rare and peaceful. It was one of those evenings where little was happening. The sun was going down behind the trees and many of the lamps around camp were starting to be turned on. 

Arthur was home before dark for once, which you were thankful for. You rarely got to spend time with him before it was time for bed. It was nice to be able to sit with him, even if you had little chores to do while you sat there. 

“Thank you for doin’ that for me, pumpkin.” Arthur spoke, keeping his voice low so only you could hear him. He leaned forward in his chair, flicking his cigarette down onto the ground and then stepping on to it. Then he moved his chair a little closer to you so that if he wanted to, he could lean forward and kiss you.

“You’re very welcome, darlin’. You know it’s my pleasure.” You flashed him a smile. “I always love hearin’ all these stories about how you tear up your clothes on your adventures. It’s very amusing knowin’ you’re just like a giant clumsy toddler.”

“Are you gonna give me a hard time all night?” He raised a brow at you, a teasing glint flashing in his brilliant blue eyes.

“Oh, you know that’s my favorite thing to do.” You looked down at the shirt to watch where you were pushing the needle through. “If I didn’t give you a hard time, who else would?”

“There’s plenty of people to give me a hard time ‘round here.”

Movement out of the corner of his eye caught Arthur’s attention. He turned his head to see Kieran making his way towards you two. Arthur let out a small sigh and leaned back in his chair, a little irritated that the peaceful moment between you and him had been interrupted. 

“M’sorry to-to bother you, Mr. Morgan, Ms. Y/L/N. I-I just wanna talk to you for-for a minute, Arthur.” Kieran stopped a few feet away from your chairs.

“Me?” Arthur raised his brows, eyes widening slightly. “Why? You got somethin’ planned, O’Driscoll?”

“Arthur!” You scolded him, reaching over and smacking his arm. 

“Ow!”

“I-I’m sorry to bother y’all.” Kieran turned to walk away, shaking his head.

“Kieran, don’t let Arthur’s bad manners scare you away.” You glared at Arthur before bringing your attention to Kieran. “Is it something I could help you with?” 

Arthur ran a hand over his face, knowing very well you’d get after him later for his behavior. 

Kieran didn’t say anything at first. He nervously messed with his hands and looked off to the side. 

You followed his gaze, eyes landing on Mary-Beth. 

“I-I just…. M’not too sure how to, uh, to talk to her, is all.” He spoke quietly. He looked back to you. “I thought maybe since y’all seem like such a nice couple that you might have some good advice you could give. I just don’t-don’t wanna mess nothin’ up.”

“Oh, that’s sweet of you, Kieran.” You smiled, then gestured to the empty chair sitting across the table from you. “Have a seat with us.”

Arthur opened his mouthed to object but decided at the last minute to not say anything about Kieran joining you both at the table. 

“Just ‘cause we seem like a nice couple, don’t mean we are.” Arthur shook his head, motioning to you with his thumb. “She’s meaner than hell.”

“I’m the one sewing the holes you leave behind in your clothes, Mr. Morgan.” You reminded him, a little smirk tugging at the corners of your lips. “Once they’re patched up, I’ll sell your clothes in Valentine. Make a decent penny, and buy myself something nice.” 

“That’s a damn good idea.” Arthur chuckled, rubbing his scruffy jaw.

“Now shut up and listen so we can help the kid out.” You put the clothes in your lap on to the table so you could give Kieran your full attention. “Have you tried talking to her at all yet, Kieran?”

Just as Kieran was about to answer, Sean came over to the table. 

“Why do you lot look so dead? Swear there’s more life in a cemetery.”

Your eyes met Arthur’s and he let out a sigh, knowing he’d have to be the one to make the sacrifice and draw Sean away.

“Hey, Sean?” He stood to his feet. “Come with me a second, buddy.” 

“Sure thing, Arthur!”

“Have you tried talking to her, Kieran?” You repeated your question.

“Yeah, a little.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “But it seems…. It-It just don’t feel like it’s goin’ nowhere. It feels like I-Ikeep messin’ up. I just don’t know what to say and-and it’s hard talkin’ to pretty girls. I-I get all nervous and stumble all over my words.”

“Just remember that she’s a person too. It’s okay to be nervous and to mess up with your words. She’s a really sweet girl, Kieran. She won’t think anything of it as long as you’re nice.”

“You think so?”

You nodded your head.

“You should’ve seen Arthur when he and I first started talking.” Your eyes found Arthur. He’d taken Sean across camp and distracted him with something. “He’s not the big brute he likes to make everyone think he is. He’s a sweet man with a big heart. The first time he ever took me out somewhere, he spilt whiskey all over me.”

“Did he really?” Kieran chuckled. “And-And you still talked to him after that?”

“Of course I did. It was an accident. He’s never done anything to hurt me.” You brought your attention back to Kieran. “You’re a good kid, Kieran. All of us here can see that. I’m positive Mary-Beth can see it too.”

“I hope so.” Kieran turned his head to look in her direction. “She’s really nice, Y/N.”

“She is a sweet girl.” You agreed.

“Thank you for talkin’ with me, Y/N.”

“Anytime, Kieran.” You gave him a smile and watched him leave. 

You went back to working on Arthur’s clothes. A little while later, Arthur returned to his seat. 

“That kid needs an off button.” He muttered, glancing over to Sean. “How did talkin’ with Kieran go?”

“Good.” You looked up at Arthur through your lashes. “I told him about how you spilt whiskey on me that time you took me to that dusty old saloon in Montana.”

Arthur groaned.

“Now why would you do that?”

“Because it made him feel better about being so nervous around Mary-Beth.”

Arthur fell silent for a few moments, his eyes finding Kieran and Mary-Beth. The two were sitting near each other chatting quietly. You looked over your shoulder to see what he was looking at. 

“You think they’d be good together? You don’t think he’d….?”

“You’ve got to stop calling him an O’Driscoll, Arthur.” You looked at Arthur then back down to his clothes. “He’s one of us. He saved your life, you know.”

“I know.” Arthur let out a heavy breath. “Just…. Just don’t like it.”

“He’s not like them.” You finished the last stitch on the shirt and tied it off. “You can see it in his eyes, and in the way he interacts with everyone around here. He’s sweet. He just didn’t have the right start at life. Didn’t have the right people around him.”

“Sounds like you’re gettin’ soft on him.”

You rolled your eyes and threw the shirt at Arthur, hitting him in the face with it. 

“You can be such a horse’s ass sometimes, Arthur Morgan.” You stood up and started to move away from the table but Arthur’s hand caught your wrist. 

“I’m just teasin’ you, Y/N.” He put the shirt on the table and then tugged you over to stand between his knees. “Just don’t understand why you’re so keen on helpin’ him. You’re never this nice.”

“I am a very nice person.” You looked down at him, bringing your hands up to cup either side of his face. Your thumb brushed along his cheekbones. 

On his right cheek, there was a faint white line that cut just an inch or so beneath his eye. You focused on that for a few moments. 

“I know a fella that a lot of people think is hard and mean.” You whispered. “Many people wouldn’t think that he likes it when I brush my fingers through his hair at night. Or that when he can’t sleep, he likes to put his head in my lap and listen to me read.”

You were thankful that the sun had finally gone down all the way and that most of the gang was gathered around two of the fires on the other side of camp. They wouldn’t be able to interrupt or witness your moment with Arthur, who very rarely liked any sort of public displays of affection. The ones who did witness it were Mrs. Grimshaw, who had been doing her mother hen rounds to check and make sure everything was in line, and John, who was keeping patrol just outside of camp. Grimshaw pretended to not see anything as she kept walking, humming to herself with a cigarette between her fingers. John smiled a little. It made him happy that someone made Arthur so soft. 

“Who is this fella?” Arthur asked, his voice low and a little raspy. His eyes shut for a moment as you leaned forward to kiss his brow. He settled his hands around your hips, just holding you where you stood between his legs. “Might have to fight him.”

“Silly man.” You giggled softly, running your fingers back through his hair. “I’m a good judge of character, Arthur. Have a little faith in me.”

You started to step away from him. As your touch left him, his hand found yours and he stood up so he could pull you into his arms. 

“I have faith in you. It’s the O’Driscoll I don’t trust.” 

“I’m gonna start keeping count of every time you call him that and there’s gonna be consequences.” You squeezed Arthur’s fingers. 

“What kinda consequences?” A grin tugged at the corner of his lips. 

“Ones you won’t like.” You pulled your hand from his and looked around camp. 

Mary-Beth was sitting on her bedroll reading by a lamp. Kieran was brushing down his horse just outside of camp. 

“I’m not saying you have to be friends with him, Arthur.” You turned your attention to him as he stood from his chair. “Just stop callin’ him an O’Driscoll.”

He let out a rather exaggerated sigh and ran a hand over his face.

“If it makes you happy-,”

“It would make me very happy.” 

Arthur narrowed his eyes at you. You innocently smiled. 

“You drive me crazy, woman.” He put his arm around you and started to guide you towards your shared tent. 

“You know you wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“Of course not.” He kissed your cheek. “I like the crazy.”

“Did Charles really start that fight in Valentine?”

Taglist: @winterwolf @doggone-cowgirl

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