#buhhh = bear

[givemea-dam-break]

got in a tizzy with my dad over how he (as a man from a town in lanchashire in northern england) over how he says bear because apparently we scots say bear (bay-uhr) too aggressively but bro pronounces 1/4 of the actual word (literally just goes buhhh)

[killianhemlock]

How do I explain this AU to a normal person

[underworld-park-offical]

CRAIG: DIE, WHORE!!!!!

GREGORY: AGHHHHAGAHSGHJDguiwbulABUKBUICGDosah8CF0H()o

GREGORY: I HAVE BEEN ASSAULTED I HAVE BEEN HATE CRIMED I HAVE BEEN DESTROYED

GREGORY: THEY’VE RUINED ME!!!!

GREGORY: MY CONTOUR GREGORY: MY LOUIS VUTTION!!!  

GREGORY: YOU LITTLE SHITS 

STAN: Hey uh. You kinda cute ngl

GREGORY: Huh? I am? 

STAN: Yeah I just uhm… are you gay? 

GREGORY: Gay as fuck

STAN: Let's date

GREGORY: Okay pookie

GREGORY: Wow Stan, you are so handsome

STAN: I know honeybun

GREGORY: oh my Satan you are so hot

STAN: SATAN!? 

GREGORY: Yes snookums… I'm a demon

STAN: WHAT!!? OH MY GOD DEMON!! GET AWAY! 

GREGORY: POOKIE BEAR!! COME BACK! 

GREGORY: MY MASCARA IS GETTING RUINED!!

STAN: AGOUIFYUOIGCGTJUOVHUHIGVYUIGVBJKH STAN: (AGGRESSIVE HACKING/COUGHING NOISES)

STAN: HUHBUHUBUBUBUHBHUH

STAN:(WEEZE(r))

GREGORY: Ow what the fuck

GREGORY: That shit hit me so hard that I got transported to a damn Wattpad fanfiction

GREGORY: Fucking ow

GREGORY: You whore

CRAIG: That's what you get for dissing my merch

CRAIG: Smh my fucking head

STAN: Buhhh

STAN: What happened? STAN: What's going on?

STAN: Why is there a twink in my living room?

GREGORY: Shut up, Shane Dawson

STAN: Fuck you

GREGORY: Just so you KNOW Craig_The_Real_Tucker,

GREGORY: You just started a war you could never win

GREGORY: My account, GREGORY_CUTIE_PIE_3rd has over 14 million followers

GREGORY: They will ALL cancel you

 CRAIG: Not before I reveal your secret, bitch

GREGORY: What are you on about?

CRAIG: You’ll see what I mean when I make my 3 AM cancellation post lmao

THOMAS: What the hell is going on in there?

THOMAS: I heard a chair breaking…

TWEEK: lord of Satan, it's probably some dumb petty internet drama

TWEEK: Let's not get involved

TWEEK: Nothing is worse than getting caught in the crossfires of influencer war

THOMAS: O… okay if you say so?

THOMAS: We should probably get out of the road though…

THOMAS: Estella had us watch a bunch of safety PSAS and im scared of dying

TWEEK: You're already dead

THOMAS: I- I know but I don't want to die twice

TWEEK: You

TWEEK: You can't???????

TWEEK: HUH?????

THOMAS: TWEEKHOLYSHITLOOKOUTCAR!!!!!

TWEEK: WHAT THE FUCK IS A-

TWEEK:AGFUTDF(O&YCTGUIJHFY*OUGJHTRFUFYGUMBNCFT&FCFGHJFGHCUIOYJDCGUIOUYFFYCGHIFTYGU

THOMAS: HOLY FUCK- SHIT- FUCK- COCK FUCK- IHIYFGOIGUIFYGUIFILYHVCKFCVHLIVLUYCHVK

TOLKIEN: Oh look what your bitching made me do, Clyde!

TOLKIEN: I hit a fucking deer!

TOLKIEN: I….

TOLKIEN: ….think?

THOMAS: YOU HIT TWEE- FUCK SHIT SHIT ASS ASS! OIGFI^YGIUOGUKGUFLCTGHVJCKHG

STAN: What the fuck

STAN: What is going on outside

KYLE: Global warming? 

STAN: Other than what's not real

KYLE: Stan don't start with this

STAN: I'm just saying, if it DID exist wouldn't it make the whole world feel warm?

KYLE: IT IS!!! IT'S MELTING THE ICE CAPS!!!

STAN: That's what they want you to believe

KYLE: Okay, you’ve lost talking privileges

GREGORY: YOU WOULDN'T 

CRAIG: OH I FUCKING WOULD BITCH CRAIG: YOURE ABOUT TO BE CANCELLED IN T MINUS FUCK YOU GREGORY: NOT BEFORE YOU DIE CRAIG: BITCH I'M TOO FAMOUS TO DIE GREGORY: BULLSHIT CRAIG: NOT MY FAULT YOU USED ARDELLE WHISPIES GREGORY: YOU WHORE

STAN: SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M WATCHING SOMEONE PUKE BLOOD

GREGORY: OH MY GOD IS TOMMY OKAY? GREGORY: TOMMY BOY????

GREGORY: TOMMY BOY??? TWEEKY?????

TWEEK: uuuughhh

TWEEK: That HURT you asshole

THOMAS: YOU SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO THOSE FUCK! SHIT! SHIT! FUCK!  SAFETY PSAS BLUHGHUGJGKBVHBJUVHJKb

TOLKIEN: Oh

TOLKIEN: Look, Clyde

TOLKIEN: It's your new boyfriend

CLYDE: Aww is he okay???

TWEEK: NO I GOT HIT BY A FUCKING CAR TWEEK: YOU BROKE MY LEGS!!!

CLYDE: Well SOMEONE was fighting so hard with me that they weren't looking at the ROAD

TOLKIEN: Oh so this is MY fault now???

CLYDE: YES THIS IS YOUR FAULT CLYDE: YOU HIT HIM WITH YOUR CAR

TOLKIEN: MAYBE IF YOU WASHED YOUR DAMN HANDS THAT WOULDN'T HAPPEN

CLYDE: WHAT DOES WASHING MY HANDS HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT???

TOLKIEN: IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!

TWEEK: CALL 911

TWEEK: MY LEGS ARE FUCKING BROKEN

THOMAS: BLUHJBHJVUIGY*HUGH TWEEK: STOP GETTING KOOL AID ON MY BROKEN LEGS YOU ASS

THOMAS: SORRYBIHGUHIJKLUHHHH

TWEEK: Wait a second

TWEEK: IS YOUR KOOL AID VOMIT HEALING MY LEGS????? TWEEK: KEEP DOING IT KEEP DOING IT YOU LIL PISSBOY

THOMAS: OKAYBLUGHUIHVJBKBFUCK SHIT BPHUIGLKNJBHI

GREGORY: TWEEKY

GREGORY: TOMMY BOY

TOLKIEN: Fuck

CLYDE: Awww man

CLYDE: You ruined my chances at asking out Tweek

GREGORY: What?

CLYDE: What?

(Edits made by @pissblanket and @zemoleinyourtrashcan)

(Nyan Neko sugar girls art made by @zemoleinyourtrashcan credits go to Nyan Neko Sugar Girls for making the og images)

(Wattpad fanfic segment written by either @smilerzart or @cattpup5, unsure)

[weirdoldstans]

Stan’s always had an inclination for wearing diapers, ever since he was a child, but he would never let anyone know, not even Ford-sure Ford liked all things freakish but this was too weird. He’s carried that with him through his 10 years of homelessness to the point where he finally got Ford back. He did finally feel safe and comfortable to actually wear diapers regularly during the 30 years he worked on the portal. But now with Ford back, he feels that deep shame again, the self-hatred of being such a freak. A baby. So he stops wearing them cold turkey when Ford’s back. Which, after 30 years of consistency, is a bad idea. He’s had so many accidents since then, never getting caught but always so close to getting caught.

Until one night. He made it right to the bathroom but couldn’t make it to the toilet before a stream of piss trickled down his leg, staining his boxers for the umpteenth time. He just couldn’t take it, he collapsed into his piss puddle and sobs, he’s so ashamed, but he also misses his diapers so much. But he can’t let Ford know, he’s already being kicked out at the end of the summer-sure he can afford to move the mystery shack but what was the point? Not only was this his home for 30 years, but his entire reason for living was to bring his brother back, but what now?

That’s how Ford finds him, sobbing pathetically in a puddle of piss on the bathroom floor. He doesn’t seem judgmental, asking his younger brother if he was okay. And Stan just let go, talking about his secret shame, about how he didn’t know what to do after the summer, how he doesn’t have anything to live for anymore, and dammit he just wants this one comfort, he wants to wear them but he can’t because it makes him a stupid fucking freak!

Ford doesn’t say anything, he just helps Stan stand up, put a towel down over the mess in the floor, and walks a still sobbing Stan to his room. He walks Stan over the center of his rooms, and begins to look through his drawers, looking for something. He finds the stash of Stan’s diapers. Astronauts, teddy bears, boats, all sorts of cute designs his brother enjoys. He picks out the last bunny patterned diaper, and looks for powder and lotion for the diapering, and finds them in a drawer with some footie pajamas, he picks out the pajamas with bunny rabbits on it-going for a theme. He then heads over to Stan, setting the supplies down on the bed and lays out the diaper, and pulls down the soaked boxers, gently leading him to step out of them and to sit on the open diaper, softly pushing him to lay down so he can lotion and powder his brother, ignoring the lengthening erection for now, and do up his diapers. Ford helps Stan sit up and step into his footie pajamas, and helps him into the bed, tucking him gently into his bed, making sure the stuffed elephant on his bed is in Stan’s arms, and lays behind him, wrapping his arms around his little brother. Ford tries not to cry, not wanting to upset Stanley again, he can’t believe he let his little brother-no his baby brother-feel like this. He should’ve been taking care of Stan, changing him and taking care of him. It’s obvious to Ford that Stan needs someone to care for him, Stan needs his big brother, he always had. And now, Ford resolved to himself that he’ll take care of Stanley, his baby, for the rest of their lives

WAHHH STAN BABYYY

buhhh poor stan, so ashamed...ford deciding to take care of his baby brother...ford holding him...THE LIL STUFFED ELEPHANT...

BWUHHH THANK YOU FOR THIS

[laserdog10]

Iceberg Week: Double Date (feat. Lancaster)

*The Schnee Heiress and her boyfriend had just arrived at the amusement park, waiting outside the gate for their friends they had promised to have a double date, per request of their rose themed friend, Ruby.*

Weiss: Where are they?

Neptune: Jaune said they’ll be here in five minutes, which was five minutes ago.

Weiss: I swear their time management is as good as Ruby’s self control when she’s bribed with cookies. *she griped*

*Just then they saw a car pull up, in the passenger side window was the smushed, excited face of their friend staring at the wonderful world of rides, merchandise stores, and countless food stands.*

Neptune: That’s them!

Weiss: Thank goodness, thought it would be closing time when they got here!

*The passenger door opened and out came Ruby in a Petal Burst, glomping both of her friends in a big hug*

Ruby: Hey guys!!! Thank you so much for inviting us!

Neptune: What took you guys so long?

Jaune: Well Garnet, Blossom, and Citrus heard where we were going and wouldn’t stop begging us to take them along.

Weiss: So what’d you agree to?

Ruby: We’ll take them next weekend while dad, Uncle Qrow, and Aunt Raven take them out practice hunting.

Neptune: Sounds like a good deal to me. *he laughed*

Weiss: Alright, save the chit-chat for when we get into the park. Let’s enjoy ourselves!

-3:00 PM, Ferris Wheel-

Jaune, green in the face: Buhhh...why did we have to stop by and get Goliath Ears twice?

Weiss: Sorry, they were really good!

Neptune: At least we made the conscious decision to pack ours for later.

Ruby, also a little green: *hic*...I didn’t...

Weiss: Dolts, the both of you.

-5:00 PM, Strength Test Game-

Jaune: Right, here goes. *deep breath*

*Thwack, DING!*

Neptune: Haha, nice one dude!

Ruby: THAT’S MY HUSBAND!

Weiss: Not surprised considering he took a hit from a mech like it was nothing.

*They left with two teddy bears each for Weiss and Ruby*

-6:00 PM, Fun House-

Ruby: Okay, is the timer set.

Neptune: First to get out of the hall of mirrors pays for the dinner before we leave.

Jaune: Ready...GO.

*They both take off only to immediately run face first into a mirror, and fall flat on the ground.*

Ruby/Neptune: Owwwwww....

Weiss: I warned you two this would be a bad idea.

-7:00 PM, on a hill-

Ruby: So when were the fireworks supposed to start?

Weiss: 3...2...1.

*Like magic, the display began. Flowers of multicolored light flew into the sky, bursting with force and sending streaks outwards into the night*

Jaune: Wow...

Neptune: Beautiful.

Weiss: I say it was a good call inviting them for a double date.

Neptune: And who was it that came up with the idea?

Weiss: And who would I be to forget it was you, you dork?

Neptune: My wife, the snow angel.

Weiss: Of course.

*Saying no more, they share a tender kiss. Meanwhile*

Ruby: This was fun, hope the kids will like this place.

Jaune: If it was great for us, it’ll be amazing for them. Just us as a family.

Ruby: I look forward to it, Vomit Boy.

*Like their friends, they kiss as well. Truly, this was a grand double date.*

--

(My contribution for @iceberg-week!)

[holdsteady]

TEDDIURSA. A bear that just wants to be your friend!

I was gonna be like “buhhh Ursaring is cooler” but you know what? I’m Nice and I’d rather be nice than cool and I love you and I love this answer!!