#buffy had an ending. and ending where she was free!

[youhavethesun]

feel very anxious about the buffy reboot.. part of me just wants to close my eyes and ears and pretend it doesn’t exist.. I love smg so much and I know she will give it her all but I just can’t see in any way how a reboot will be able to meet the standards of the show I just can’t.

[sideartblog999]

Willow Rosenberg is stranded from her universe in a world that is utterly boring, she has a doppelganger who wears her face, vampires have fallen to the bottom of the food chain and there's a decidedly not dead Slayer still in Sunnydale. But worst of all there's this annoying blonde vampire who won't leave her alone.

Started this back in like January, got 95% done and decided I hated it. As part of finish my wips month I opened it up finished it and edited it to the point I was happy with it.

[coraniaid]

I know I keep going on about this, but I really do think that the majority of the Buffy fandom downplays the importance of Buffy's relationship with her mother to, at times, an almost ludicrous extent. Obviously it's not a perfect relationship (if you think Buffy has a perfect relationship with anyone on the show you've really not been paying attention) and indeed at times it's a very strained one, but it's a central part of understanding who Buffy is and why she says and does things that a lot of writing about Buffy on this site just ... pretends isn't there.

There are more or less extreme examples of this -- I saw a "Giles should have adopted Buffy!" post a couple of years ago that didn't even acknowledge that Buffy had a mother who might have objected -- but so much analysis of the show seems not to engage seriously with the thought that Buffy might care about her mother as a person or worry about her mother's opinion of her. And really, the show is very, very clear about this. There are multiple episodes in the high school seasons where the emotional stakes only make sense if you accept that 'demons from hell might end the world' and 'Joyce might think her daughter is getting into trouble at school' are two roughly equivalent problems for Buffy to navigate.

I recently saw a post about Season 5 that listed Joyce's death as just one of several different reasons for Buffy's burgeoning depression that season -- along with Riley leaving and her having to drop out of college -- but .... that's not right, is it? Those aren't three isolated and independent issues at all. All of those factors go back to Buffy's mom. Riley leaves her in Into The Woods because he decided the fact she's too worried about her mom getting sick to spend time humoring his fragile ego means she doesn't really love him. Buffy drops out of college in Tough Love because her mother died and she has to take care of her sister ... which, when you remember that Dawn is explicitly presented as a stand-in for Buffy ("she's more than [my sister]," Buffy tells us in The Gift, "she's me"), can only be read as Buffy dropping out because she has to take care of herself. "Who's going to take care of us?" as she asked Dawn in Forever.

Buffy's depressive spiral in Season 5 happens because her mother dies. There are aggravating factors, sure, but this is surely the heart of it. It's not because her crappy boyfriend left or she suddenly remembered she was a Slayer. It's because her mom gets sick and dies, and Buffy Summers -- who is afraid of hospitals, who blames herself for every death in Sunnydale, who has been trying to protect her mother from the supernatural for years, who hates the very thought of there being problems in the world she can't solve, who loves her mother more than she can say -- doesn't know what to do about it.

"I don't know how to live in the world [...] if everything just gets stripped away. I don't see the point. I just wish my mom was here," she tells Giles in The Gift. It's Buffy who turns to the door to let the shadow of her mother back inside in Forever, and Dawn who has to break the spell that brought her back. In Season 6, Buffy is trapped by a demon in a fantasy world where she was never the Slayer and her mother is still alive, and it's that image of her mother, telling her that she's strong and urging her not to give up which allows her to break free. When Giles comes back to England that season, and offers Buffy a temporary reprieve from all her new financial worries, the highest praise Buffy has for him is that this uncharacteristic generosity on his part is "a little like having Mom back".

There are people in the world Buffy cares about as much as her mother (but not as many as some of you think), and there are perhaps a dozen characters who appear in the show more or get more speaking time than Joyce Summers, and there are certainly lots of characters the writers obviously care much more about as people in their own right. (Like many of you, the writers seem pretty dubious about the idea that middle-aged women could ever be interesting.)

But there is nobody in the world who means more to Buffy than her mother, and I think trying to analyze the show as if there were is going to give you a very strange impression of what's actually going on. Ideas like, well, maybe Giles should have adopted Buffy.

[itsalwaysteatimeinwonderland]

Choosing Peace Pt. 11: Despair (Spike x Y/N)

Requested: No. This is part 11 of the multi fic.

Summary: Actions, even when misconstrued, speak louder than words.

TW: None

Word Count: 2.3k

Previous | Next

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Spike spent his days helping you research your curse. To seek a way to set you free would mean a chance for him to be part of your life. For far too long your only companion has been silence and emptiness, and he would give anything to replace those themes in your life. He didn’t have a full plan, just a gut feeling. He didn’t know for sure but he believed you were both close to a break through, at least he hoped so for his sanity. Spending your days searching book after book was getting tiring. He had to do it for you, for him.

You both worked diligently to find some missing link, some type of information that you had skipped. You became engrossed in an old leather-bound book while spike searched for possible books that could contain the appropriate way to break your curse. You take a pause. Joy bubbles in your chest. Disbelief drowns your thoughts. So many years of searching and finally, finally, you were given a partial answer on how to break the curse.

“I found something!” You exclaim.

Spike rushes to your side. You quickly read that an oracle must be consulted. You identify the place, the time but were unsure about what question to ask. As you go further down you find that your curse, since it was caused by a lover’s anger, can only be solved by a lover’s desire.

You wondered what that meant. It seemed too easy. As you keep reading you find out that you have to ask who your soulmate is. Only then will you find the key to break the curse. You grimace. Why did it have to be a lover? Why couldn’t it be a potion. Love is a sensitive topic, a non-issue if you will. But now, it was the only issue. Identify the soulmate, find them, and be free. Simple. Too simple.

You sat back frustrated. Spike, at your side, was excited and giddy.

“You found the answer. The key.” He exclaims.

“It seems too simple.” You mention.

“I think you’re just jaded. Give it a whirl, see where you end up.” Spike encourages you.

You sigh and close your eyes. You envision your life without the curse with a lover, maybe a family… and it all seems too surreal, too out of reach. You decide against the oracle and soulmate solution.

“I’m not doing it.” You announce.

Spike is surprised, “Why not, love? The worst thing that could happen is that it leads you nowhere. It’s worth a shot.”

“I don’t think so. I’ll keep looking for something more realistic. Right now, I need a break.” Without a another word you get up and leave the Magic Shop.

The Scooby gang witness the exchange. They are surprised at Spike’s investment in your life, your lack of interest in this new lead, and confused as to why you chose to walk away.

Your breath is labored, your thoughts in disarray. What if this was the answer? What if all you need is a mate? Someone to partner with? It surely can’t be that simple. Your pace becomes a jog, a sprint, a run. You don’t know where you’re going but you’re going. You’ve lived with this curse so long that the idea of living without it is scary, unknown. You need space. You need time to think.

Spike, back at The Magic Shop, sits back on the chair next to where y/n sat. He is confused, enraged. It’s selfish of him to want her to break the curse. Almost evil to want this more than her. He had plans, a future with her, and she was resistant to exploring her options.

“You think she’s scared?” Willow asked Buffy.

Buffy was dismissive of the whole situation, having her own thoughts about the curse.

“If she breaks it, does that mean she will age?” Xander pondered.

Buffy eventually chimes in, “Spike, you seem very invested in this.”

Spike turns to her, trapped. “She’s a friend. My only friend.” He digs in deep to hurt Buffy.

The conversation is dropped. Due to it being daylight, Spike is trapped at The Shop. He uses that time to formulate a plan on how to approach you, how to convince you.

Night falls and Spike is alive and on the move. He will find you no matter what. He looks at all the usual places. Your house, his crypt. Nothing. He eventually finds you at the look out, alone and confused. He slowly approaches you.

“Love…”

You don’t move but acknowledge him. He steps closer, cautiously.

“Spike, I’m afraid. It’s been so long, I don’t know how to be a human anymore.”

Spike reaches for your hand and gives it a soft squeeze. “Poppet, your compassion and empathy make you human. Not your mortality.”

You turn to look at him, tears in your eyes. He is surprised. He has never seen you this vulnerable. He pulls you into a hug and holds you tight. You break down and hold him as if he’s the only other person in the whole world.

You both stand in silence while the night air is filled with your sobs and sniffles. You look up at him, desperate for an anchor.

“Will you stand by me?”

“Always.” He says as he places his forehead against yours.

Spike was internally a whirlwind of emotions. Always there for her. Always self-sacrificing. He hoped that one day it would pay off.

The next morning you’ve decided to go through with finding the oracle. You’re mapping out your journey, making sure you’re ready for any tests. Spike observes you from afar, hopeful that you’ll find answers, and maybe -just maybe- a way to be free.

You spend the rest of the day psyching your self up for your journey. You remind yourself that you’re there to explore not to commit to any answers. Any lead is a good lead.

You try to sneak out of the house. Wanting to have this for yourself. Spike is waiting for you on the porch.

“Thought you could slip by me?” He says as he snuffs out his lit cigarette.

You sigh, defeated. You knew there was no way to dissuade him. You both embark on your journey. A treacherous walk up a hill, a shimmy in between rocks, a descent into a cave. You come upon a portal, a gateway to another dimension. Invisible to the naked eye but tangible to those who are connected to the super natural. You take a step forward and so does Spike. You stop him.

“No. I have to do this part alone. Wait for me.” You say as you walk into the portal.

Inside there are ornate ceilings, white walls and marble floors. You look around.

“Oracle, I come with a question.”

A form appears. A golden being with closed eyes. “What do you seek, traveler?”

“I… I need to know who my soulmate is.” You wait impatiently.

The figure stalls, breathes in and answers your plea.

The sound is deafening. The answer is not what you expected. Your mind is in disarray. Before you can ask for a follow up, to question his answer, you’re pulled back into the real world. You land on your butt with a loud thud. Spike is standing a few feet away. He hurries to hold you up. You stand there, awestruck and confused.

“Well?” Spike prods.

You shake your head, afraid to give him an answer. You start walking back the way you came. Spike holds you back by your arm.

“Did you get an answer or not?” He is impatient and scared.

“Yes.” You whisper.

Spike can tell it’s not what you wanted. He is perceptive and can read that you don’t want to elaborate. He nods and starts following you back to the beginning of your journey. The lack of expression on your face has him worried. Did the oracle not say his name? Was this all for naught?

You walk in silence. Deafening and loud. You’re in disbelief and upset. How will you handle this? How will you contend with this new information? You didn’t dare tell anyone. This was yours to keep.

Spike was suspicious and unnerved by your silence. He desperately wanted you to have said his name, to have confirmed that he was your soulmate. Yet, nothing. He decides to not push you, to let you process. That night he decides to stay in his crypt to give you space.

As he sits watching TV, not really paying attention, a knock is heard at his door. An odd occurrence since no one ever knocks. He gets up, hoping it’s you. He opens the door to find Buffy. Shy and vulnerable. He doesn’t have time for this. He plans on shutting the door, but she lets herself in.

“Why not me? When did you stop wanting me?” She asks.

Spike is taken aback, speechless. Before he can answer she is pressed against him, face tilted and eyes searching.

“Is it y/n? Is she better than me?”

Spike takes a step back, appalled by the closeness. He can’t do this, not tonight. She grabs him, holds him against his will. He stands there planning his next step.

As soon as Spike leaves you decide to wander the streets searching for something, but you didn’t know what. After a while you realize that you don’t want to be alone. You find yourself at Spike’s crypt. Addicted to his presence, in need of his attention. As you walk in you see Buffy and Spike pressed against each other. You’re shocked but not really. Spike turns to see you, fear in his eyes. Not this, not now.

You turn around without a word. Of course, Spike would seek respite in Buffy. They were meant to seek each other out. You never knew why but you knew they couldn’t stay apart. You fooled yourself into thinking that there was space in his life for you. It is for this reason you didn’t bother with love. It was never real. You pretend to not feel as you run back home.

Meanwhile Spike fights to get free from buffy.

“So, it is her.” Buffy says disdainfully.

Spike growls in frustration and runs after you. He catches up to you as you enter your porch. He reaches for you, but you turn to him.

“Sorry to interrupt.” You say with a bite.

“It’s not what you think.” He pleads.

“Spike, what you do is none of my business.” You try to be defiant, distant.

“She came to me. She wanted me. I was trying to get away.” He begged.

“Like I said, it’s none of my business. You chose, and I respect that.”

“Choose? I choose you. Always you.” He steps closer while you take a step back.

“I’m glad you can always go back to Buffy. I feel it’s best you stay in your crypt from now on.”

“I can’t do this with you Spike. I have too much going on.” You say with disdain and walk into your house slamming your door.

Spike is speechless. He stammers, begs. He basically gets on his knees.

“Don’t do this. It’s not what you think.”

Spike is left alone, in despair, in disbelief. He is shattered into a million pieces. His eyes prick with tears. He withholds a sob. He doesn’t let himself feel, he’s too vulnerable. Anger overtakes his sadness. That damned slayer. Always ruining things for him. That sick and twisted bitch. He is overflowing with feelings and all of them are a form of anger.

He stalks back to his crypt, hoping that the slayer is still there. Fortunately for him, she is.

“Kick you out like a dog?” Buffy taunts.

He is enraged and violent. He lunges after her making sure to hurt her as much as possible. However, Spike is no match for Buffy. Buffy makes sure to put him in his place. She is smug and full of herself.

“Don’t fight what is already done.” She walks towards him. “Now that your little fantasy is broken, are you ready to come back to me?”

Spike breathes in deep, choosing his words correctly. He may not be able to hurt her body but he can hurt her ego.

“The only reason you’re here is because you feel like shit, and hurting yourself by giving yourself up to me makes you feel something. You feel like an outcast, and you’ll never belong. Not anymore.” Spike spits out, bloody and bruised.

Buffy bites her lip. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She knew she could beat him into submission if she wanted to. As she thinks about forcing him into being hers, it dawns on her how she is acting. Her reactions are evil and full of hate. She has turned into the monster in this story. She has sunk as low as she can be. Not only does she feel like dirt, she finds ways to bring herself down even more. She steps back and runs out of the crypt. She is in disbelief of how Spike has dragged her down into his pit of despair.

Spike lays in his own puddle of blood, broken and lonely. Tears stain his face as sobs echo in his crypt. He has lost the one good thing in his life. He was so close to salvation and now he’s back to square one. He knew he didn’t deserve y/n but he didn’t have to lose her this way. He hurts not only for his situation but also for the pain he caused you. How will he redeem himself. Having a soul wasn’t enough. Now in your time of need he wasn’t allowed to comfort you, to hold you. He knew cold and lonely nights await him. He knew that despair and anger were going to be his companions. He wondered if he would ever get you back.

[tobiasdrake]

Sending this as a separate ask instead of a post comment - but why do you think Buffy allows for the healing and restoration of Willow after s6 where it cannot handle Faith? (Is it because Willow is a main but Faith is a side character? Or because Willow has almost always been a force for good throughout multiple seasons of good will where Faith has primarily been a force for bad? Or because Faith made her bad personal to Buffy but Willow was a bit more all-encompassing?)

I think there's a variety of reasons.

For one, it's too personal for Buffy the character. Faith's crimes were directly committed against Buffy, and some against Angel. But Angel's headspace is that of an atoner, or someone who understands what it is to have terrible things you regret, so he's better situated to offer forgiveness and healing.

With Buffy, she both has a lot of bad blood and a perspective that isn't well-suited to offering healing guidance. She tries, initially. But by the time Buffy stabbed Faith in the gut with her own knife, they were a little too far over the edge for warm blankets and healing cocoa. And Faith's worst crime against Buffy was still to come.

Meanwhile, with the Willow situation, it should be noted that Buffy fails her attempts to reach out to Willow. Ultimately it's Xander who saves Willow through their longstanding relationship, and then Giles who takes responsibility for guiding her in recovery.

This sort of thing just... isn't Buffy's wheelhouse. She's accepting of people who've changed, but she's not well-suited to being their catalyst for change. At least, not on purpose, as she does feature heavily in the evolution of Spike.

Another factor is the fact that Willow's storyline is analogous to a steadily worsening substance abuse problem that begins in the season 2 climax and reaches its apex in the season 6 climax. When she becomes the Surprise Antagonist of season 6, she is not of sound mind. It's a moment of temporary insanity compounded by the fact that the first thing she did under the temporary insanity was coke herself up to her eyeballs.

Giles doesn't so much take her into moral rehabilitation as he does into drug rehab. Willow has a problem. Willow isn't the problem.

By contrast, the only force influencing Faith's decision-making is Faith. She makes a bad call in the heat of the moment and then rather than accept responsibility and face the fact that she fucked up, she deflects responsibility and snowballs.

Everything Faith does from the moment she tries to pin the murder on Buffy is an act of desperation, denial, and self-destruction. Whatever she needs to do in order to not have to feel bad for what happened. To blow it off, to escape her guilt, she spirals and gets steadily worse.

It's worth noting that Angel himself very nearly nipped it all in the bud all the way back in 03x15 "Consequences", by pretty much doing the same thing he ends up doing in his own series: Relating to Faith's guilt and offering acceptance and understanding. Trying to make her feel emotionally safe enough to let down her walls and open up, both to him and to herself.

Which seemed to be working right up until Wesley stormed in and started making arrest orders. Which consequently made Faith feel very unsafe here and drove her farther away from the group.

Healing requires the cultivation of trust in a judgment-free environment. Wesley ruined Angel's first attempt at offering that to Faith. Meanwhile, Buffy can't really relate to the feeling of regretting a murder and as things with Faith escalated, eventually and quite reasonably reached a point where she had no empathy for Faith left to offer. Faith crossed too far over the line and Buffy ran out of fucks to give.

So Willow had a problem, while Faith was a problem. Which really just means Faith had a problem that's a lot more complicated and difficult to unpack than "Willow's going on a grief-fueled bender."

But also... Yeah, the fact that Willow's been one of the gang for six years is probably also a factor. There's a little bit of bias in the Scooby Gang. Xander literally says during the debate over killing Anya in season 7, "When our friends go crazy and kill people, we help them!"

In fact, that argument is a very solid examination of Buffy's moral philosophy. Buffy very clearly lays out that despite their past history together, she has no empathy for Anya because:

1 - Anya's a demon, not a human. 2 - Anya chose to become this way. Twice. 3 - Xander tries to counter with the point that Buffy's awfully forgiving of her vampire boyfriends, and Buffy counters with the salient point that, hey, remember when she killed Angel too?

Buffy goes after Anya with murder in her eyes, and it's only because of Willow and Xander that she's given the chance to come back into the fold instead.

Buffy just... isn't a healer.

There's a lot of similarity between Anya's situation and Faith's. The differences being that a) Faith is a human, so point 1 doesn't stand even though point 2 still does. But also b) Faith doesn't have a deep and years-long friendship with these people. Once Buffy gives up on her, that's it. There is nobody left who sees good in her. Not one.

But there is one person who's willing to offer a guiding hand through the darkness anyway. Someone whose belief system isn't about seeing good in people, but about the choices we all make along the way and the ability we all have to choose differently.

[evanhereonearth]

Since I’ve gotten a few questions about my original books and where to find them, I figured I should do an introduction/master post, because I’ve a whole heap of things I do.

I’m a polymath, a pain in the ass, a massive pain

If you’ve enjoyed my Solavellan meta and want to support me, I would be honoured. I’ve just been totally cleaned out by a gruelling and traumatic immigration process (that is ongoing), and honestly *any* support is an enormous help in getting back on my feet so my life in my home can…finally begin.

I’m a fantasy author of over 25 novels across several subgenres, but all of my books have a romantic element or are romances. I’m also an award-winning Gaelic singer and songwriter who has represented Scotland internationally twice and been invited to perform for our parliament’s 25th anniversary celebration.

I’ve been at this a long time, and I keep kind of getting knocked backwards onto my arse and am pretty exhausted! Here’s my erm…life’s work below the jump!

Books

If you want to read my current series as I write it, check out my Patreon! I’m back on my Solavellan bullshit with it: if Lavellan met Solas somehow both as Solas and simultaneously as rebellion-era, peak traumatised Dread Wolf…and had to reconcile those experiences on the fly as her people’s oppressors subject her to impossible trials to steal what remains of their Indigenous magic? Aye, that’s Wilder.

You can follow along for £1 a month on Patreon. It’s going to get very spicy.

My most recent published series is a Solavellan-inspired romantasy trilogy (complete!) that I wrote over the last five years of absolute panic that we wouldn’t get a happy ending.

Complete trilogy!!!

Mutual pining

Souls bound across time and space

Big Dragon Age and Solavellan vibes

Banter!

“We shouldn’t” 👀

Low spice (honestly I kinda regret not making it spicier so might make some erm…bonus scenes at some point)

In KU/ebook and available in bespoke deluxe paperback from my own shopfront

Elven gods and mortals romance episodic series where the gods are being punished by a greater power for being assholes and can only find redemption by winning the heart of their mortal soulmates 😌

Queer-norm world!

Book 1: m/f

Book 2: f/f

Book 3: enby/f

Book 4: m/f

In KU and ebook only; they’re just short lil guys

Complete trilogy!

Spell-induced climate change, one land magically draining the resources from another, and those dead set on righting the wrongs (or making it worse 😳)

Giant sapient bats

Giant cats and those who bond with them and ride them

A land cut off from the world by an ancient curse

Ace rep!!!

Profound friendships and trust

Available in ebook, hardcover, and paperback

Complete quartet!

Lots of snark

My earlier work but I’m still proud of it 🥹

Bi lead, f/f endgame

So many butts

Adorable demon hybrid lads who are very wholesome and also always naked

NANA THE BUNNY, best bunny

Available in ebook, hardcover, and paperback (and audio, narrated by the amazing Amber Benson of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame—she’s truly an absolute legend 😭!)

Look to the Sun and A Hall of Keys and No Doors are both available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audio. Also narrated by the amazing Amber Benson!

Two standalone YAs, both lightly paranormal

Non-binary autistic leads in both

Big themes of surviving and recovering from trauma

Sweet romance in each

Demi/grey ace rep in each

Will is obsessed with Solas just like me lmao

Target of banning in plenty of US states 🙃

Sam got nominated for a Nebula award 🥹

Available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audio (Sam is narrated by Allegra Verlezza, and Will by Vico Ortiz—yes, that Vico Ortiz!)

Seonag and the Seawolves: free to read at Reactor Mag!

A Gaelic reimagining of a Green Man tale with a sea-based protector and their wolf guardians. Set in South Uist!

Long listed for a Hugo award 🥹

The Quiet: A tale of a woman who bridges worlds to seek out her lost sister in the face of an ancient threat. Has selkies!

Perchance to Dream: An m/m tale of Sleeping Beauty if the legends didn’t get it quite right and neither Aurora nor Phillip wanted anything to do with one another, beginning from the wake-up kiss

The Quiet and Perchance to Dream are both available in ebook and KU!

***

Beyond this, I have a whole series of LitRPG under another name that I’m toying with outing myself about.

Music

I also have a wee EP of demos of my original Gaelic songs and one translation of Once Upon a Dream over on Bandcamp. It’s a pay-what-you-want dealio!

Art

You may have seen my lil Solavellan art going around! You can get it on a T-shirt in my shop, along with other wee bits and bobs I’ve painted.

And, of course, if you want to just read my Solavellan long fic, you can do that here. 💕

[finalgirl1984]

I’ve been thinking about faith and kendra. On faiths side it’s like this is the girl that came before you, she had to die for you to become who are, she gave you her strength. You don’t know whether to curse her or thank her for that. No one wants to talk about her but the girl you want to date be friends with keeps her stake, calls it a comfort item. She was just like Buffy, so perfect and a much better slayer than you. If she couldn’t make it, what chance do you have? Then for Kendra it’s, this girl is your replacement. A living breathing reminder of your failure. She’s just like the girl you want to date be friends with and they’re both so reckless and free. All you were good for in the end was to bring a weapon to the hero. You did everything you were supposed to but look where it got you. A slash across the throat and a grave in the place that killed you.

[genericaces]

if u did a tier maker of buffyverse ships i would enjoy it 🙏

This is tricky because ships are one of those things that people can get really passionate about, and I don't want to upset anyone. I try to steer clear of any drama when I can, but I also want to feel free to express my opinions, you know? Because god knows I have them.

I guess I'll say before I wade into any discourse that, disclaimer: my enjoyment of a ship doesn't mean I condone what goes on in it, and I can separate fiction from reality. I try not to moralize when it comes to fictional ships and approach them both objectively in terms of quality and also subjectively to my personal tastes. But I also believe that, at the end of the day, it's just fandom and people should do whatever floats their boat.

So with all that being said, here's my (highly personal!) rankings of the ships in Buffyverse:

C Tier:

ATS 1x09 - This is the ship with the bomb that Doyle sacrifices himself to disarm. Now it's a good episode, but this is really the only wide shot we get of the boat. I literally forgot that the climax takes place on the water. The interior is fun with lots of stairs and various apparatuses for fight scenes, but it could just as easily have been a basement or abandoned factory. Honestly, I wasn't too impressed by the ship factor. Rating: 4/10

B Tier:

BTVS 2x13 - You might be thinking, "You're ranking a BACKGROUND ship higher than an actual location?" but hear me out: because the ship is in the background, I actually remembered that this scene had a ship. There's a great fight scene in front of it where Buffy uses the chain along the docks to choke out a bad guy, and then she gets thrown into the water. The ship hangs out in the background the whole time and brings together the whole nautical-themed fight. Rating: Angel diving into the water/10

A Tier:

BTVS 3x15 - Now we're cooking with gas. We get a FULL shot of the whole ship on the dock. The establishing shots linger on the boat more because Buffy and Faith have a confrontation here. Not only do they have a conversation with someone visibly ON a boat, Faith starts out on the upper deck of the boat then swings herself OFF the ramp to argue with Buffy on the docks. Bonuses for a visually dynamic conversation and the boat representing Faith's plans to fuck off, interrupted by HER choice to get off and get in Buffy's face about it instead. Rating: Saving the girl that's supposed to be your enemy/10

S Tier:

ATS 3x22 - I know, we're getting into controversial territory here. But look how beautiful this ship is. Is it a boat? A schooner? A yacht? I don't know, but I DO care. Extra points for it being a plot-necessary boat, of course, since they had to get Angel out into the middle of the sea somehow. What's great about this ship is that it's really condensed all the ship elements into a smaller vessel, so you're aware throughout the tense emotional scenes that you're actually ON a boat in the middle of the sea. It really emphasizes Angel and Connor's isolation at this point in the finale, both physically and emotionally. And, I mean, look at this: we actually have a shot that has most of a boat AND most of a person in it. AND it's the climax of a season finale? THIS is the ultimate Buffyverse ship. Final rating: The misunderstanding-to-patricide pipeline/10

[spuffybaby]

Time to Heal (3)

chapter links: (1) (2) (4) (5) (6) (7)

The sun was tickling her face through the blinds and Buffy turned her back to the window, yet felt the throbbing in her head which she'd expected to be much worse to have gone almost completely. She touched the bandages and they were dry, did not feel crusty or soaked. In the night, she'd pulled herself up from the sofa and gone up into her bedroom. She closed her eyes again, lay there for a minute and wondering if she could go back to sleep when it hit her. Spike. He was here.

She sat up, a throbbing, pulsing pain shooting through her head from the swift movement. Her hand flew to her head, pressing against the wound. A glance at the clock on her bedside table told her that Dawn would have already left for school. She pushed the covers from her body and tried to rise slowly, pulling on a pair of loose cotton trousers and a burgundy sweater. She went quietly down the hallway and to the mirror, her head still pulsing. Soon, she'd tied up her hair to the best of her ability with the bandage, and taken a couple of painkillers. The events of the night were coming back to her and she realised she'd been too out of it to be sensible, grateful Dawn had done her job. She recalled herself campaigning to let Spike roam free around the house. She'd been foolish. She'd let hope get the best of her and been reckless.

On her way down the stairs, she could smell Dawn had made some kind of breakfast and she was met with a defrosted chocolate croissant sat on the top of the kitchen island, taking it happily as her stomach rumbled. While the basement had been her destination, she now hesitated as she approached the stairs. Maybe she hadn't been reckless after all. Maybe she'd dreamed it all. Not the wound, but maybe all around it. When she reached the bottom step, she expected the basement to be empty.

“Hello, sunshine.”

He was sat at the bottom end of the mattress to avoid the light that shone in through the small window above him. He was in a dark grey t-shirt and dark blue jeans, black boots. She hadn't seen his coat upstairs where he'd taken it off the night before, but then, she hadn't allowed herself to look on the way down. The gel in his hair had loosened and his eyes looked tired. His back was against the wall, his skin smooth, his jaw sharp, the expression neutral, the hint of a smile, though hesitant. He was Spike.

“That's not a compliment from you.”

The smile grew less hesitant. “I meant it as one.” He didn't move, just watched her.

“Why?”

He huffed, shaking his head and lowering his gaze. But he lifted it into hers again before he spoke. “Why d'you think?”

Buffy swallowed, walking a few steps further into the room, then coming to a stop in the middle of it. “I don't know,” she said quietly. “It's been months.”

“Months,” he repeated, a tone of mockery in his voice, as if the concept was beneath him, absurd. “When did I ever give you the impression that the way I love would just pass within a few months?”

It wasn't Spike. It was mocking her. There was no way that she'd moved through life during the last few months and so had he, or maybe hadn't, and they'd paused and were now playing again. Except maybe, he had. There was the usual poetry to his choice of words that contrasted so beautifully the leather and bleach and possessive and protective exterior.

“I suppose you didn't,” she said.

“Damn right, Slayer.”

She dropped her shoulders, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “I don't really know what to say,” she confessed.

His expression softened. “How's your head?”

“Better,” she said.

“Had some chocolate?” he smiled, had of course smelled her breakfast.

“Dawn left me a croissant,” she nodded. “She's at school now.” Slowly, she started approaching him. “Thank you for last night.”

“Just like old times, eh?” he asked, his eyes grew more watchful as she leaned over him to undo the restraints, then watching him rub his wrists.

“I don't know about that,” she said quietly, though could not help but think of when they'd gone patrolling together, and how he'd had her back then, the same way he still had the night before. “It's just... I don't know. You just showing up here after you... died. It's strange. But I suppose there's no right way to... show back up.”

“You'd know.”

She glanced up at him as she stood straight. “I suppose.” For a moment, she contemplated just going back upstairs, because she was undeniably overwhelmed, but she refused to leave him. Instead, she sat next to him, the sun meeting the back of her head. “Will you tell me what happened?” She leaned back against the wall by his side, though not quite close enough to touch him.

He blinked back at her. “Are you sure?”

Buffy nodded, staying silent, waiting.

He licked his lips and then he began to tell her, how he'd appeared right in front of Angel of all people less than three weeks after he'd died in Sunnydale, no time having passed for him. He told her how he'd been a ghost for months, how he'd haunted Angel, attempted to have his body and failed. He explained about the amulet, that it had somehow preserved him, it seemed, that he had come out of it once it'd mysteriously been sent to Angel. He told her how he'd finally gained his body back a different way.

Buffy listened, could barely remember a time in which she'd let him speak for this long, in which anyone had, the only moment she could think of being when he'd told her about killing the two Slayers. All that seemed like a lifetime ago. The man who had told her those stories had already outgrown the murderer of the Slayers, but the man that sat in front of her now was someone else entirely.

“That was last week,” he concluded. “I only stopped being a ghost last week.”

“How did you find me?”

“Through Angel. He's been keeping tabs on you,” he told her. “But he wouldn't let me contact you or, well, contact you for me before I could do it myself. And I hated that I couldn't come to let you know I was alive because I was bound to the amulet there. I was powerless. But trust me when I say that the first thing I wanted to do was come to you.” He paused, seemingly catching up with his own words only then. “I mean... oh, hell, I did. No time had passed for me. It was the day after you said you felt the same way about that night in that house that I did. That there was something to be said about after the battle. Seeing you now... it feels like no time has passed still. But for you... I'm still such a jerk. I'm sorry.”

“Don't be,” she said quickly. “You did everything you could in your power. It's not your fault,” she assured him.

He gave her a small smile. “Have you not... I mean, have you moved on? Thinking I was gone?”

Instantly, Buffy lowered her gaze. She looked at her hands, fidgeting, unsure of what to say. Yes, time had passed, yes, she'd thought he was gone, but ultimately, her feelings had not changed. She had been well aware that she should put them to rest, that nothing would come of them and that she had to accept his death and move on. But that didn't mean she'd done so. If anything, in living with just Dawn, she'd realised that she'd always been able to count on Spike. And she regretted so much that that realisation had come mostly in his absence. Since Dawn had stayed with him, she'd taken him for granted. She'd never thanked him the way she should have for watching her during those months after she'd died. Even after, she'd been able to count on him, with Dawn, and to stand by her always. Only when he was no longer there, she'd realised how much she'd relied on him. With any new bit of information, any new development in the weeks before the battle, filling Spike in had seemed like the priority without her even noticing. While leading the Slayers, she'd discussed and regrouped with him more than anyone else, before meetings and practice and patrols and after, she'd checked in with Spike. He'd been her ally, her partner, and she'd never worried for a second that he would stab her in the back or abandon her in her leadership. And yet, he'd set her mind straight when following her after the others had cast her out, had pushed her to do the right thing when she hadn't been able to.

Should she have moved on in the face of his death? Yes. Had she?

“I'm not sure.”

He waited, letting her gather her thoughts.

She could barely believe how much she'd missed just seeing his face, only now she appreciated it, held so much disappointment in herself with how much she'd taken him for granted. Was there even a way to come back from that for her? “I wanted to see where things went after the battle,” she confessed. “I really did. I thought we had time. I trusted... the process.”

“Yeah?”

Buffy nodded. “I'm sorry.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Buffy, for what?”

“Everything.” She shrugged, still avoiding his eyes. “I took you for granted, Spike. I used you as my punching bag, figuratively and literally. I ridiculed you when I shouldn't have. Even after you got your soul, my behaviour towards you didn't change the way it should have.”

He shook his head. “No, love,” he said. “None of that could ever compare to what I tried to do to you.”

She stopped him. “I don't know,” she said.

“It's what made me go and get my soul. I realised that I was not the man you deserved, that I could not come close because I couldn't understand why I did it when I knew how i felt about you. I will never forgive myself and I will never ever stop making up for it. Hell, Buffy, I wish every day I could take it back. I'm so glad you stopped me. I never should have tried and I'd like to say I wouldn't have kept pushing. But I was a monster then. I'm not worthy of you now. And yet, before the battle, I let myself hope.”

Buffy turned her head, her eyes meeting his. “And now? Do you still hope?”

It was him who averted her gaze then, looking up. “Bloody hell, get a fella a drink first, will you?” he chuckled.

She smiled to herself, remembered how much she enjoyed seeing him squirm, but also the honesty he'd allowed her to see that night, as well as the fear that if he made himself vulnerable, she'd rip into him.

This was no time to be a coward. “I do,” he said, lifting his gaze. “I can't lie to you, pet. Like I said, it feels like no time has passed. I held you and you held me and I don't think I ever felt more comfortable. All those months without a body, I longed to go back to those nights. I do now still.” He closed his eyes. “But I still feel as I did then. I love you for who you are, not because I desire you. Time has passed for you with a much different reality. No matter how you feel, Buffy, I'm still yours. I'd do anything for you.”

His words felt surreal, like maybe she still hadn't fully regained consciousness after last night's attack. It's like all the time that had passed had been taken out between the night before the battle and the moment right before her. She hadn't realised how she'd longed to hear him say it again. Only shortly before his death, she'd begun to appreciate them, the poetic promises, a devotion she had never experienced from anyone else. “How?” she whispered.

He opened his eyes. “How?” he questioned.

“How can you feel like that and be so in control of yourself?”

He laughed, shaking his head. “Trust me, pet, 's not easy.”

“But?”

“But I want you to feel at ease. I want you to trust me that I will never do anything again that you don't want. I respect that things are different for you.”

“They aren't.” The words rushed from her mouth before she could sign them off in her brain. “I mean, I should have moved on and not held on to you. But I did.” She nodded confidently at her statement. “I did.”

He blinked in disbelief. “You held on to me?”

“Every day. After what you told me, I knew there was no pressure, and that's how I behaved. If only I'd known.” She stopped herself, tears forming in her eyes.

Instinctively, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, though freezing as he realised, ready to withdraw, but her head sank down slowly on his shoulder. “Hey, hey, love, it doesn't matter,” he said, the softness in his voice so familiar, but she was experiencing it in such a different way now, appreciative, comforted. “'m here now.”

His hand was rubbing her arm and he pressed a kiss to her hair.

“I wish you'd believed me,” she whispered. “All this time, it's haunted me.”

“What d'you mean?”

“At the Hellmouth,” she said. “I've thought every single day since... you died without believing me.”

He was silent for a moment, then realised. “Oh.”

“I meant it.” It felt strange, pressing play as if the last few months had been nothing but a dream, a cruel outdrawn interlude, a conversation they'd have had had he left Sunnydale behind with them on the school bus.

“Not to be that guy, but... how could you mean it? After everything? Sure I've hoped, but I never truly expected-”

“Stop,” she said. “Stop it.”

“Buffy, I'm not being funny, I-”

“Shut up, Spike.” She looked up at him. “You saved the world. You saved the Slayer that saved the world many times. No one has stood by me the way that you have. No one's made the bad fade away for me the way you have. No one's loved me the way you have. For me. How could I not?” He was comfort and he smelled like it, felt like it, she wanted to stay as close as she was. “You got a soul. For me. You wanted to be good, you are good. For me.”

He swallowed hard, his hands trembling and she took them into hers as soon as she realised. She then shuffled onto her side to lie down, pulling him down with her, relaxing into him instantly when he wrapped his arms around her from behind and pulled her in, her back pressed to his chest, his face against her neck. He really was holding her.

“You think I'm good?” His voice was merely a whisper of disbelief.

She squeezed his hand, closing her eyes. Her head was still pounding and she knew now she could really rest, overcome with fatigue. “I know you are,” she said quietly, absently pressing a kiss to one of his fingers, the cold metal of his ring against her lips for a moment. “You're a good man, Spike.”

[thornfield13713]

I am going to add Whistler to the list of people I want to hunt down with dogs. Ideally on horseback.

Just- Well done! Well done, you have put this whole fucking mess on Buffy's shoulders once again! Now she has divine sanction for blaming herself for a situation she had no way to predict and which...really, it wasn't her responsibility to prevent in the first place. Last I looked, it took two to tango, and last I looked, Angel was the one who'd been cursed for a century and maybe ought to have looked into things that might shake that soul loose.

Maybe he wanted to avoid temptation when it was particularly painful. Maybe he was told there was no way to undo it - I'm not sure I'd want to tell the vampire I'd just cursed about the get-out-of-soul-free card baked in. But at the end of the day, there were two people in that bedroom, and one of them is getting all the blame.

I will say, nobody seeing Buffy's relationship with Angel coming does at least suggest they weren't deliberately waving her in front of Angel with the assumption his dick would lead him to redemption where his soul hadn't managed it. And I'm...huh. He really is the Powers' special boy, isn't he? Their very own blorbo. What with the sending agents to get him on the path they want, the way they expected him to stop Acathla and are all sulky now that he's unleashing it and Buffy's going to save the day instead. I suppose it does make sense with the S7 revelation that the Slayer isn't sacred, just the product of some very dodgy magic done by very dodgy people, but...still. The PTB sure seem to have a horse in this race.

Personally, I do feel that it rather cheapens Angel's redemption arc to have this many external factors pushing him towards it, but...that may just be me.

[danikamariewrites]

could i request azriel x reader or lorcan x reader with reader being a vampire and needs to feed but he says to feed on him but she’s scared she’ll hurt him. She finally does and he feels euphoria and it leads to smut👀

Take My Blood and Make Me Yours (SMUT)

Azriel x vampire!reader

A/n: I got two requests that were similar to this so I thought I’d combine them since they were similar. I’m going off my very little knowledge of vampires from Buffy, Twilight, and Supernatural so I’m making up half this shit as I go along lol

Warnings: blood, smut, slight sub!Az

You had held out longer than you expected. But going four months without feeding on a person, human or Fae, was driving you crazy. You felt like you were dying. Animal blood and whatever Amren drunk wasn’t cutting it for you anymore.

You always felt guilty when you fed on a person. It was either turn them or kill them and you didn’t like killing people unlike other vampires.

In hopes that your ‘sickness’, as you called it, would become less extreme. You had avoided being around Azriel. His scent had been too overwhelming the last few days. The urge to drink from him making you itch. Since he was out of the house you felt free to walk around the house.

Although normal food didn’t do much for you, you were addicted to sweets. Chocolates, sour candies, literally anything you could get you hands on. The flavors helped distract you for a while, especially the sting from the sour candies.

Lost in your sweets stash you didn’t hear Azriel come in through the front door. He lovingly squeezed the back of your neck, “Hi love. How are you feeling?” You scramble up from the table backing away from Azriel. A wild look in your eyes telling him not to come near you.

You put your hand out making sure he stayed far away from you. “Az no!” You scream, “please. Please I don’t want to hurt you. I can’t…” your voice cracks as you plead with him.

Azriel hated seeing you like this. You were far too pale, deep bags under your eyes from months without sleep, and your hair looked lifeless. “Y/n, my love please. I need you to listen to me.” You backed farther away from him all the way against the wall of the kitchen.

He kept approaching. Once Azriel was within arms length he gently laced your fingers together. Tears sprung from your eyes as his scent consumed you. Cauldron he smelt divine. And he probably tasted even better. Your mouth started watering at the thought of his sweet Illyrian blood on your tongue. How sweet he would taste. How it would be if he turned and stayed with you forever, as if he weren’t already immortal.

But you had made a promise to yourself when you started seeing each other and again when the mating bond snapped. You would never taste him. You were afraid you’d turn him into something else he would resent or lose control and drain him. Leaving you broken without your mate.

You tilted your head back to avoid his gaze, your tears falling into your hair. “No Azriel. I can’t. I won’t use you.” Like the thoughtful and loving male he is, Azriel had offered himself to you so your suffering would end. You had refused him every time.

“Nothing is working for you. It’s been over a year since you fed from a person. Please let me help you.” You could tell he was in pain seeing you like. Azriel probably felt your pain down the bond and it mustn’t have been easy for him. “Y/n I trust you enough to let you feed from me. I know you could never hurt me.”

Your resolve was crumbling at his sweet words. “Please y/n. My heart breaks to see you like this. Please, just enough to sate the hunger and then you can stop.” You nodded your head whispering out a weak ‘ok’. You couldn’t believe you were breaking your promise. Gods, what was wrong with you.

Azriel was chest to chest with you. You collapsed in his arms letting out small sobs. Azriel kissed the side of your head, scooping you up in his strong arms. After letting out one final cry he asked, “Where would you be comfortable baby?” His question made you pause.

You were about to drink his blood and he was asking you where you’d be most comfortable? This just reminded you of how selfless Azriel is. You didn’t deserve this male. “Wherever you’re comfortable Az.” You mumble into his shoulder.

He started heading up the stairs toward your bedroom. While you were relieved your pain would be over soon, you were terrified you’d harm Azriel.

Before you knew it Azriel was sitting on the bed with you cradled to his chest. “We can take this at your pace.” You nod against his chest. Moments pass as you sit still. Taking a deep, nervous breath you lift your head to meet his sweet hazel eyes.

You cup his face and run your thumbs across his cheeks. “Thank you, my love. You have no idea…” he covers your hand with one of his large scarred one. “I’m doing what any good mate would. I love you.” You were at a loss for words as you teared up again. “I love you too.”

Leaning forward his scent overwhelms you. He’s night, rain, mist, and everything beautiful in the world to you. Part of you was excited to get a taste of him. All your worries left your mind as you pressed your nose into the side of his neck. His soft, supple neck.

You licked from his pulse point up to just under his earlobe. Straddling him, you move your mouth back down so you hovered just above his pulse point. You left a small peck on his warm skin. “If it gets too much or you think I’ve gone too far, do what you have to. Even if that means hurting me.” “I…ok.” You heard the hesitation in his voice.

You gave his neck one last kiss, letting your fangs slide out and scrape against his skin. Finally, you skin your teeth in, biting down on Azriel his blood starts to seep out and into your mouth. The second the thick red liquid hit your tongue an electric shock went through you. Azriel’s shadows were going haywire as they wrapped around you and their master.

He tasted even better than you imagined. Cauldron, he was the sweetest thing you had ever tasted. Having Azriel like this did things to you. The way he willingly gave himself to you and tasting the most delicious blood you’ve ever had, had you grinding down on Azriel.

Azriel moaned, gripping you tighter to him. You were surprised when you felt his hips buck up into you. “Fuck baby. Feels good.” Holy shit, Az was enjoying this as much as you.

You had your fill a few mouth fulls ago but you stayed sunken into his skin, lapping up a few drops. You felt heavenly. Like you were new again and finding out what blood tasted like for the first time.

Pulling your fangs from him Azriel whimpered. The sound went straight to your core making the slick in your panties more prominent. When you could finally focuses on your surroundings you could feel Azriel’s hard cock through his pants.

You sat up, stretching your arms, pushing your hair up and letting it fall seductively over your shoulders as you let out a seductive hum. You much better. Your skin returned to its normal shade. Your eyes vibrant and full of life. You gave Azriel a dark smile, his blood coated your lips teeth.

Azriel’s shadows relaxed, going back to their spot on his shoulders. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of you. Azriel grabbed you pulling you into a bruising kiss, licking at your sharp teeth. You moan into his mouth forcing your tongue into his, dominating him.

You took control from Azriel, ripping your nightgown off and clawing at his shirt with your sharp nails. He rips it off and you undo his pants. Sliding them down just enough to let his cock spring free.

You take him in your hand running your thumb around the head. Kissing up his jaw you stop at his ear nibbling at it. “I think you deserve a reward, don’t you? My brave boy.” He let out another whimper, loud and unashamed. “Yes, fuck please baby?”

You run a finger along the ridge of his wing up to the talon. Azriel tenses up under you, his cock twitching in your hand. Getting to the talon you slowly run your finger down the vein, onto the red and gold flecked membrane. Azriel moaned, gripping your ass hard enough to leave fingerprints. “Please y/n, I need you please, please, please.”

You let out a dark laugh. Sitting up you lay your hands on his chest forcing him back into the headboard. “Such a good boy saying please. You’ll get what you want baby.” Azriel let out a harsh breath at the new praise from you. “You like that?” You say in a tantalizing voice. “You like being my good boy?”

“Yes. So much.” You hum running your hands down his abs. “Good Azzy, good.” You peck his lips and line his cock up with your entrance, teasing him by spreading your slick around your folds. Finally you sink all the way down on him. You both let out moans of pleasure at the feeling of being connected.

You start rocking back and forth on him, your eyes fluttering. “Gonna help me ride you baby.” Azriel wordlessly bent his knees and brought his hands to your hips. You started bouncing on him. Azriel picked you up, slamming you back down faster and faster as he chased his high.

The room smelled of blood and sex. The sound of slapping skin echoing as praised Azriel. A few more thrusts and you were coming undone together.

Azriel’s head started to fall backward. You cupped the back of it before it could hit the headboard. His eyes screwed shut. You laid your forehead on his rapidly moving chest while you both caught your breath. “Fuck.” You panted. Azriel lazily snaked his arms around your waist. Slipping into a laying position with you still on his chest.

“Azzy we need to get cleaned up baby.” You squeezed his bicep signaling for him to get up. He shook his head against the pillow. “Can’t. Just need to lay here with you.” You weren’t going to argue with him. You were spent and ready to sleep for the first time in a while.

tags: @rigelus @nyotamalfoy @auggiesolovey @msiecrane @bubybubsters @baybay123455 @aroseinvelaris @twsssmlmaa

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

Now that submissions are closed, we can talk stats. There were 881 valid, unique submissions for 474 characters! Woof, women have it rough out there!

The most submitted characters, with a relevant propaganda snippet included, are:

1. Sakura Haruno (Naruto): 28 [where do i even fucking begin]

2. Cordelia Chase (Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel): 21 [OH SO MANY THINGS]

3. Misa Amane (Death Note): 20 [The author of Death Note invented new forms of misogyny just to apply them to Misa.]

4. Kaede Akamatsu (Danganronpa V3): 15 [Oh, you thought we would have a female main character in one of our mainline games? With a cool defining talent, no less? That's stupid of you]

5. TIE: Kairi (Kingdom Hearts): 14 [I'm so mad. I think she deserves a gun.]

5. TIE: Stephanie Brown (DC Comics): 14 [She does eventually get retconned as surviving the event and hiding out in Africa (don't ask, it does not make more sense in context)]

The canons with the most submissions, with a relevant propaganda snippet included, are:

1. DC Comics: 61 [DC has SO MUCH sexism it's laughable]

2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel: 35 [Fuck Joss Whedon, man.]

3. Naruto: 33 [because Kishimoto hates women]

4. Warrior Cats: 26 [Warriors is one of the most misogynistic children's series I've ever seen]

5. Danganronpa: 25 [I honestly had to think about it just to decide which woman is treated the worst because this series hates them so much]

The canons with the most characters submitted, with a relevant propaganda snippet for a specific character included, are:

1. DC Comics: 21 [Free her from the huge tits back breaking pose.]

2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel: 12 [Anyways she was so hot and for what. 10/10 my lesbian awakening.]

3. Supernatural: 11 [Yeah, she got randomly killed off-screen for shock value and manpain, but she sent an email right before she died so at least her death wasn't in vain, right?]

4. TIE: Star Trek: 9 [She literally gets teleported out of her clothes in one episode.]

4. TIE: Yu-Gi-Oh!: 9 [One loss is particularly brutal as she falls from a large height directly onto her head and goes into a coma (again. yes this was the second time).]

5. TIE: Warrior Cats: 8 [I'm sure she'll get submitted again just ask any reasonable fan they'll tell you about her and her sister]

5. TIE: Attack on Titan: 8 [As a child soldier, she does commit some war crimes]

And here are some charts to show how some of these entries fucked the scale on my charts:

Look at Sakura, fucking up my chart with her numbers.

On a similar note...

Good god, DC, I know what you did, but add fucking up my charts to your list of crimes.

And now, enjoy some rankings of my favorite things:

My favorite universal sentiment quotes from propaganda are:

She lived she served cunt and then she got killed off super early so that the male characters could experience man pain and also because I guess she would have been too powerful if left alive. [Wen Qing (Mo Dao Zu Shi)]

That design. Dear god. I don't want to live on this planet anymore. [Mitzi (The Queen's Corgi)]

In the end she may have girlbossed too close to the sun, but I support her anger. [Ling Wen (Heaven Official's Blessing)]

the victim of “writer doesn’t understand women and also hates them” disease. [Naomi Misora (Death Note)]

She could 100% kill somebody but nobody ever effing lets her. Rip queen. [Kairi (Kingdom Hearts)]

My favorite raging at a writer quotes from propaganda are:

1. You took every single protagonist to weird lion heaven, Clive, but suddenly Susan isn't good enough. [Susan Pevensie (The Chronicles of Narnia)]

2. Being a woman written by Joss Whedon should automatically entitle her to financial compensation tbh. [River Tam (Firefly)]

3. A lot can be summed up in a couple words, namely, "Furman, why?" [Arcee (Transformers)]

4. Can you tell respect women juice ran in Tolstoy's veins. [Lise Bolkonskaya (War and Peace)]

5. TIE: (specifically a guy called Dan Didio, who we all hate) [Stephanie Brown (DC Comics)]

5. TIE: until Geoff motherfucking Johns comes into the picture [Pantha (DC Comics)]

My favorite quotes from propaganda that have nothing to do with misogyny, y'all are just funny:

I wish I could use bold here, because there's no such thing as uppercase numbers. [Arcee (Transformers)]

the most convoluted and lore dense piece of media this side of the afton criticality. [Jane Crocker (Homestuck)]

ended up starting a gang war by accident [Stephanie Brown (DC Comics)]

Ashfur, who later turns out to be a murderous incel [Squirrelflight (Warrior Cats)]

Hawkfrost is actively seeing Brambleclaw and his evil father in cat hell. [Squirrelflight (Warrior Cats)]

[mcgnagallsarmy]

Top 10 Spuffy fics I’ve read (Feb 2024)

Dear Slayer by Elsa Frohman [PG-13]

Season 7 AU, based on the speculation that Spike might come back as a "living" vampire.

Drive by Holly [NC-17]

Freshly turned and very grumpy about it, Buffy finds herself in a weird place. One where her friends smell like food, her former mortal enemy smells like heaven, and the so-called love of her life has made it clear that killing her is on his to-do list. Throw in some overly zealous army guys and this is not Buffy's idea of a party. So she and Spike decide to hit the road at least long enough to figure out why neither of them can hit anything else. And since they're both single and free, well, Buffy wouldn't say no to a distraction from the never-ending laugh riot that is her life. And Spike can be very, very distracting. Good thing soulless vampires can't fall in love or she might be in trouble.

Fireworks by RavenLove12 [NC-17]

The gang is throwing a beach party for the 4th of July in hopes it will lift Buffy’s spirits and help her find a new love. Trouble is she’s already falling for someone they don’t expect.

Found by CupcakeCute [PG-13]

Begins between TGIQ and Power Play, continues post-NFA. Buffy learns of Spike's resurrection from an unlikely source and immediately sets out to make things right as The Apocalypse breaks out in L.A. Spike/Buffy pairing, some Angel/Cordelia.

The Kind of Anticlimactic that's… Not by EllieRose101 [PG]

Hellmouth activity has been almost worryingly absent of late, and with less trouble in Buffy’s life, she’s had nothing stopping her from spending extra time with her lover… Except maybe she has that backwards? (Alternative Season Six.)

Phoenix by EllieRose101 [NC-17]

Spike saved Buffy at great personal cost—something she hopes to repay. (Goes off-canon near the end of Once More with Feeling.)

Ready by sweetprincipale [NC-17]

AU early season 5. Riley and Buffy are still together and something big happened over the summer- a little bundle of joy is on the way. Buffy is not so joyful about how Riley is now treating her. She's ready to be seen as the Slayer and woman she still is, and Spike doesn't object to lending a hand (or other parts).

Spike's Girlfriend by EllieRose101 [PG]

Spike’s in love and the Scooby Gang are sick hearing about it—Buffy most of all. (Alternative Season Six.)

Under The Influence by NautiBitz [NC-17]

A few nights after their engagement spell, Buffy has to watch Spike. Problem is, a psychedelic demon may have just spritzed her with a mind-altering substance. Will Spike seize the moment? Or will they just end up naked? HMMM.

You've Got The Look by Geliot99 [NC-17]

“Buffy?” he mumbled as something soft brushed delicately across his eyelid. “Don’t open your eyes,” she said quietly, her voice flat with concentration, “or you’ll get poked with the eyeshadow brush.” He paused, motionless beneath her. “I’ll what now?” “Just hold still.”

[suratan-zir]

WHOOPS, I didn't see that thanks for the link! Where did your fascination witjbrats come from?

It's hard to answer this question because there is no interesting story or specific reason. I've had pet rats almost my whole life, so for a while, getting new ones was like a habit to me. I grew up surrounded by animals. My first rodent was a hamster that bit my finger the first time I tried to touch him. He bit right through it. I must've been about 5 years old at the time. So, my parents gave it back and got me a rat instead. I don't remember that first rat because I was so young, but it's for the best, honestly. I later learned from my mother that the first rat died a horrible death because of my parents' stupidity (they thought that rats do not need water??? Two grown-ups in their twenties. wtf).

But since then, I had rats pretty much always. They lived in horrible conditions and alone, but no one knew any better at the time. I loved them, though. I remember especially fondly two of them. One was a black boy whose name I shall not tell because it was so stupid, the first letters were Ts. He basically grew up with one of our cats (which is horrible and you should never let your rats and cats interact in any way!). I was about ten. I still have this artifact, the whole three pixels of it, recorded on my Motorola phone, lol. Nevermind, tumblr won't let me attach the video. Ts. lived for three years and was almost always with me.

Before Ts., there was Buffy, a blue girl. Sadly, I have only memories of her. I didn't have a phone or camera at the time. She had a lot of adventures in her life. I made her a DIY harness and let her roam outside (which you also shouldn't do). She loved to dig trenches in the sand and climb trees. Somehow, she didn't get eaten by birds of prey or simply get lost, I guess I was lucky.

Even when I left my hometown after graduating high school, I took my rat with me. Clementine, a black-hooded girl, also lived a very long life.

Then I finally started researching proper pet care in general and rat care in particular. I should've done it earlier, I know, but I grew up in a family where it wasn't really a thing, like it didn't even occur to me. It breaks my heart to think about all the rats that lived their miserable lives with us when I was little.

Anyway, I got a bigger cage (still very small!) and two girls. But with university and many changes in my personal life, I didn't spend any time with them at all. They fought with each other all the time. When one of them died, I got another one, and they fought again. I was 17-18 at the time but still dumb af. I tried to quit getting new rats after the oldest girl died. I thought I didn't want them anymore. But then the old habit kicked in, and I got Fiona.

Fiona was the one. The rat that changed my perception of rats in general. The rat who turned me into a crazy rat lady. But it wasn't because she was so special. It was just because the year was 2014, I was in Donetsk, the world was seemingly falling apart (if you know, you know). And there was Fiona, way too young to be weaned and sold, tiny and depending on me. I was in love. She gave me comfort and helped me get through the worst (or so I thought) times. I didn't want to have another rat who would bully Fiona, but eventually, I decided to do the right thing and get Fiona a friend. Tori was rehomed from horrible conditions.

She was covered in wounds from mites, not used to handling, and walked weirdly because they never let her out. She made a swift and full recovery, though. And they got along with Fiona instantly and were inseparable till the end.

I let them free roam the room because in that apartment there was nothing worth of saving. And they wrecked havoc, they got rid of all the ugly wallpaper and made a nest behind the couch. Sometimes I would have to move the couch to get them back into their cage.

I really want to have a "rat room" again, but in this flat it's not possible, they would chew their way to the downstairs neighbor.

Then I got the third rat, Shlyopa, she cost me exactly one "kinder surprise" chocolate egg in exchange.

We later made a large DIY cage because we were too poor to afford a pre-manufactured one. Shlyopa was the best rat I ever had, hands down. She was something else. So obsessed with me that it was almost annoying at times. If I was in the room, she would not calm down until I let her out to be with me. I miss her to this day.

She had to sleep hugging my hand, so I couldn't move it until her sleep was deep enough.

I'm getting carried away, I know. Rats are just my spirit animals. I understand them, their thought process, and I relate to them (I'm also afraid of everything, lol). I feel grateful for the love they show me, I find comfort in them. And I hope I find strength to not get any new rats after the three I have now. It hurts too much.

[moistvonlipwig]

Cordelia Chase + 2, 8, 10

yay :D

2. How would I have chosen to change their story from canon?

I think the most important thing for me is that we needed to be let in on the truth that she was being possessed in Angel S4 far, far earlier -- by the end of "Apocalypse, Nowish" at the latest -- and we needed to actually hear from her while she was being possessed. Robbing Cordelia, a character whose entire thing is speaking her mind, of her voice for an entire season is so profoundly unjust and misogynistic, and I really do think that giving us a glimpse into her mind and her reactions to what Jasmine is doing with her body would have vastly improved S4 no matter what else went down in that season. However, if I have free reign to change even more of her story, then I think it would've been really interesting for Cordelia to be the one controlling the Beast in an effort to stop Jasmine's plans from coming to fruition. I have a whole rambling write-up here of how that would work on a basic level.

To tell the truth, though -- and I'm aware this puts me in the minority when it comes to Cordelia fans -- I wouldn't actually axe the possession storyline or Cordelia's eventual death & ascension entirely. I'm actually a big defender of the idea that Cordelia's arc should end with her death. I just think the execution of the possession/mystical pregnancy storyline was really poor (and was made even worse by both Joss's treatment of Charisma behind-the-scenes, and by Fred suffering a speedrun of the same fate in one of Angel's most hideously misogynistic episodes ever a season later).

I would also give her way more scenes with Gunn. Although, that's more of an issue with Gunn's character arc and the way it stopped existing in Seasons 3 & 4. And I would have liked to see her appear on Buffy in Season 6 -- I actually don't dislike Riley (even if I think his arc ended up going to several terrible places), but I think "As You Were" (or an episode like it) would be infinitely more interesting if it were Cordelia coming back to town instead. Cordelia started as Buffy's shadow self, the popular mean girl part of herself she had to leave behind in Los Angeles, and it would've been interesting to have Cordelia show up at Buffy's lowest point, now serving as a reflection of the kind of person Buffy wishes she could be. I think Cordelia got good closure with Xander in "The Prom," but she never quite got closure with Buffy, and I think an episode like this could've been a great sequel to "Homecoming."

8. What is a headcanon I have about this character?

Hm! Well, I am an ace Cordy truther, so there's that. I also have a headcanon that in her will she left instructions for her will's executor (probably Lilah) to sue Angel on her behalf for his mishandling of her company Angel Investigations. He gave up the money without a fight, and shortly thereafter, Stanford student Connor Reilly discovered he'd been selected for a scholarship he'd never heard of.

10. Did I like them immediately or did it take a while before I warmed up to their character? Alternatively, did I dislike them immediately or did they lose my trust as their story progressed?

Well, after watching the first episode of Buffy, my two favorite characters were Cordelia and Willow, in that order, sooo, yeah, I liked her pretty immediately! I've always been drawn to mean girl/popular girl/hyperfeminine 'bitch' type characters. So it's no surprise that she clicked with me right off the bat. But I would say I definitely fell deeper in love with her character through watching Angel. In the early seasons of Buffy I was just kind of like, oh she's fun. :) But by the end of Angel she was unequivocally my favorite character in the Buffyverse and one of my favorite characters ever. (I had kind of the opposite trajectory with Willow, funnily enough, where I'm not at all a fan anymore, largely due to the way her arc falls flat on its face partway through S6 and never recovers.) Also, I was spoiled for Angel S4 (thank our lord and savior Cordelia herself), so I knew Cordelia was possessed by Jasmine the whole time, so there was never a part of her arc where I disliked her.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

prince's gambit highlights & annotations

chapter 3

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

The dispatch that Laurent had written the night before galloped off to the east with a horse and a rider.

this is to the guy at the inn, right?

He became aware of Laurent on the periphery of his vision, pale-haired and wearing riding leathers.

blonde man jumpscare

Laurent was apparently arrogant enough to do this without armour. He clearly didn’t think he was going to lose, not if he was inviting the entire troop to watch it happen. He wasn’t thinking clearly at all. Laurent, with his unmarked body and his pampered indoor skin, would be fresh from palace sports where his opponents would have always, politely, let him win. He’s going to be killed, thought Damen, seeing the future in that moment with perfect clarity.

again. “i hope she fries / i’m free if that bitch dies / i’d better help her out” (buffy the vampire slayer, once more with feeling)

Damen’s heartbeat was loud with the shock of his surprise: at the end of the first exchange, Laurent was still alive. At the end of the second also. At the end of the third he was, persistently and remarkably, still alive, and watching his opponent calmly, measuringly.

THE PEOPLE’S PRINCE!!! ✨

Laurent fought like he talked. The danger lay in the way he used his mind: there was not one thing he did that was not planned in advance. Yet he was not predictable, because in this, as with everything he did, there were layers of intent, moments when expected patterns would suddenly dissolve into something else.

glances pointedly at the book 1 garden scene

Laurent turned back Govart’s second surge with an easy grace and a particularly Veretian series of parries that made Damen itch to pick up a sword.

“he’s so competent i need to duel him so bad” this is attraction! to me!

It was not an even match at all. It was a lesson in abject public humiliation. But the one teaching the lesson, the one effortlessly outclassing his opponent, was not Govart. ‘Pick it up,’ said Laurent, the first time Govart lost his weapon.

now that we’re in book 2, we (and damen) finally get to see laurent’s laurentocity projected on an opponent who is not damen. and it’s like, oh, is that how everyone else has seen him the whole time? no wonder they were confused by laurent’s worst and most openly depraved behavior towards damen in book 1. especially since they didn't know that damen killed laurent's brother!

Damen knew the answer to that question. Laurent was not going to kill him. He was going to break him. Here, in front of everyone.

we all need hobbies. that just happens to be one of laurent’s

He looked first to the Prince’s men, instinctively expecting to see his own reaction to the fight mirrored on their faces, but instead they showed gratification coupled with a total lack of surprise. None of them had been concerned that Laurent might lose, he realised.

because he’s that bitch. catch up, damen

Lazar, who had thrown Laurent the cloth, didn’t look as though he was going to be mouthing off about Laurent again. In fact, the new way he was looking at Laurent reminded Damen unmistakably of Torveld. Damen frowned.

someone’s jealous againnnn

His own reaction had him feeling oddly off balance. It was just that it was—unexpected. He had not known this about Laurent, that he was trained like this, capable like this. He wasn’t sure why he felt as though something, fundamentally, had changed.

me when i realize that i have a crush on someone

In other words, the Regent was to be informed that his Captain had been well and truly turned off, in a manner that could not be painted as a revolt against the Regency, or as princely disobedience, or as lazy incompetence. Round one: Laurent.

hey, that’s kinda how my annotations look!

Damen was finishing with the fire when Laurent came into the room, still in riding clothes. He looked relaxed and fair, as though weathering a duel, cutting down his Captain, and following that up with a day-long ride had had no effect on him at all. By now Damen knew him too well to be taken in by it. By any of it. He said, ‘Did you pay that woman to fuck Govart?’ Laurent paused in the act of stripping off his riding gloves and then, deliberately, he continued. He worked the leather from each finger individually. His voice was steady. ‘I paid her to approach him. I didn’t force his cock into her mouth,’ Laurent said.

oh you KNOW laurent was holding back a smile here. also gloves 😮‍💨

‘You broke a man today. Doesn’t that affect you at all? These are lives, not pieces in a chess game with your uncle.’ ‘You’re wrong. We are on my uncle’s board and these men are all his pieces.’ ‘Then each time you move one of them, you can congratulate yourself on how much like him you are.’ It just came out. He was in part still reverberating with the blow of having had his guess confirmed. He certainly didn’t expect the words to have the effect on Laurent that they did. They stopped Laurent in his tracks. Damen didn’t think he’d ever seen Laurent caught completely without words before, and since he couldn’t imagine the circumstance was going to last long, he hurried to press his advantage. ‘If you bind your men to you with deception, how can you ever trust them? You have qualities they will come to admire. Why not let them grow to trust you naturally, and in that way—’ ‘There isn’t time,’ said Laurent. The words pushed themselves with sheer force out of whatever wordless state Laurent had been shocked into. ‘There isn’t time,’ Laurent said again. ‘I have two weeks until we reach the border. Don’t pretend that I can woo these men with hard work and a winning smile in that time. I am not the green colt my uncle pretends. I fought at Marlas and I fought at Sanpelier. I am not here for niceties. I don’t intend to see the men I lead cut down because they will not obey orders, or because they cannot hold a line. I intend to survive, I intend to beat my uncle, and I will fight with every weapon that I have.’ ‘You mean that.’ ‘I mean to win. Did you think I was here altruistically to throw myself on the sword?’

context: damen accidentally hits the Laurent Vulnerability Button by comparing him to his uncle. in a rare moment of exhausted honesty, laurent admits his own helplessness and the dire nature of their situation. he doesn’t have time to do this right—doing it at all is already a daunting challenge. he then restates his determination to succeed, or at least die trying.

the last time something like this happened—“i can’t protect you as i am, trust me”—damen verbally eviscerated laurent and abandoned him in a vulnerable state. i wonder what will happen this time…

also. “i intend to survive. i intend to beat my uncle. i mean to win.” so this is how he’s survived the past 7 years: pure force of will. i love laurent so much.

Damen made himself face the problem, stripping away the impossible, looking only at what, realistically, could be done.

a strength of his! and often a weakness of laurent’s!

looks like damen isn’t going anywhere this time :)

Damen said, ‘I will help you in whatever way I can, but there will be no time for anything but hard work, and you will have to do everything right.’ Laurent lifted his chin and replied with every bit of cool, galling arrogance he had ever shown. ‘Watch me,’ he said.

I FUCKING LOVE LAURENT OF VERE!!!!