#bucket of racoons

[scoutsurge]

We need a little more Soldier in our lives. Preferably with raccoons.

this took un believably long- SORRY This was super fun though!!! :DD!!!

silliest guy <3

[a-good-soupy-boi]

Solider tf2 is so me vore but only when i become sick and remember that I too can throw up. I be like “I want the bucket” and “I got the bucket “ and “all I did was teleport bread for three days straight “ smh should’ve bbbeen 3 day gay. The American way 😔

[graveyardfullofstars]

[bucketttt4]

CAMPING BITCHES

Also don't worry Buckets fine- she just does that sometimes-

@r3naissancee POSTING YOUR BOIS

[txttletale]

I know copyright and intellectual property is bullshit, but how do I tell that to someone who's convinced that it protects small artists?

tell them about bill mantlo, creator of rocket racoon, whose brother has to start gofundmes to pay his medical bills while marvel makes millions off that character's merch. or to gary friedrich, creator of ghost rider, who sued marvel for using the character at a point where it should have returned to him, lost, and was then counter-sued for selling merch including sketches for fans at conventions. or alan moore, who vowed to never work with DC again after he was screwed out of owning watchmen. or the archetypal examples of this phenomenon, jack kirby (co-creator of iron man, captain america, ant-man, the hulk, and a fuckton more characters) who of course was also screwed out of any ownership, or jerry siegel and joe shuster, who spent decades fighting over the copyright to superman, a character they created and sold for $130 as desperate struggling artists and who then went on to make millions for DC comics.

or if they're not a comics fan, why not talk to them about robert kurvitz, head writer of disco elysium, who through an extremely suspect purchase lost the rights to the world of elysium, representing his life's creative work. or to hideo kojima, who was forced out of konami, keeping absolutely no rights to his iconic metal gear franchise, and had his demo for Silent Hills made into fucking vaporware that nobody can download anymore!

or about the time that disney used threats of legal action to put a stop to such nefarious infringement of their copright as 'being painted on the walls of a daycare' or 'being put on a child's gravestone'.

the thing about copyright is that it has to be enforced in court. a 'small artist' -- even ones who are independently successful and considerably wealthy -- can simply not afford to fight a protracted legal battle while paying top legal talent. disney and marvel and any other big media company, however, can fight as many legal battles as they want for as long and have the legal fees be a drop in the bucket. companies that can afford lawyers and can afford to, if it really comes down to it, lose a lawsuit -- that is, companies with millions of dollars to spare -- are simply above copyright law. this is not a bug--this is a feature. this is the system working as designed.

[percyjavksongf]

𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐭➾

➤𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐋𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐝𝐲 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

➤𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟒’𝟐𝟓𝟔

➤𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐛𝐡 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜, 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝟐 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐋𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘.

“𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮“

“𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤“

“𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞. 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮“

-𝐀𝐧𝐧𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧, 𝐄𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬

Cupid was a mean, mean man.

He loved to play the cruelest games with you, your heart had been a punching bag for the little guy with wings for as long as you can remember, but now he’s finally taken the cake.

His punishment coming in the form of Leon Kennedy, a man with baby blues and ashy blond hair. A man gifted with a bucket load of confidence and stupid dad jokes, everyone adored him in some way or another, whether it was his ability to raise the spirits of a group with ease or his determination to help anyone he needed him. Everyone in the bullpen loved him, everyone. You were surprised with yourself if you were completely honest, blue eyes and blond hair? You had never been attracted to that type but God did Leon pull it off better then any man ever could. His hair was a little funny, swooped over to the side and covering his eye in a casual yet obviously styled way. Everything about him seemed to be effortless and it ate away at you desperately, how could someone come back after a day out on patrol of a restless and demanding city and still look so beautiful? Your heart ached whenever he walked into the room, painfully so that you had to force yourself to look away, scared he’d catch your gaze and spot the lovestruck gleam in your eyes.

Being a secretary in the Racoon police department had it’s ups and downs, people loved to come to you with convincing smiles and a stack of paperwork, ask about your day while slipping you a couple of reports to look over. You’d always shoot them an unimpressed look but would end up taking on the papers anyways, understanding that after a long week of saving the city that the last thing someone would want to do is lean uncomfortably over a desk and write about it, besides, at the end of the week you’d all usually go out to the local bar for drinks and you’d never have to pay for a thing, a thanks from the officers for doing the boring part of their job.

You had landed the job a couple of years after Leon had joined, you were shown around the building quickly and then promptly brought to your new desk, bright eyed and excited to introduce yourself to everyone. You weren’t prepared for the first person you met at your new job to be so breathtaking, it made you shiver uncomfortably when you recalled your first interaction with the cop, he had strolled over to your desk and placed a large hand on the wood, leaning against it casually with a warm smile. Leon introduced himself and you exchanged small talk for a couple of minutes, he complemented your hair and you swear your heart stuttered for a moment, your shoved your hands under your desk to hide how much they had started to shake with nerves and put on your best casual smile, it must’ve looked so obvious to Leon how nervous you were to talk to him when you look back on it.

The bullpen was bustling with life when you ran into work this morning, the traffic had been horrific and had delayed you by twenty minutes, your outfit suddenly felt to warm and your fingers tugged at the cream fabric of your tight blouse roughly. You walked coolly to your chair in attempts to look as though you had been around the whole time, unfortunately working with officers meant you could never really get away with anything.

“twenty one minutes late? That’s not like you” the loud voice had you rolling your eyes and plopping yourself at your desk, your eyes caught the playful glare of Chris Renfield as he sat lazily against his chair, tapping his index fingers against his watch. Before you could reply your eyes were drawn to the man leaning against his desk in the corner of the hectic room, head tilted back and laughing away at something Jill had said. You wished Leon was the one who had noticed your absence, you knew it sounded childish but the thought stilled coaxed a small sigh from your lips. Brushing it off you turned back to your desk and sweared to not think about Leon for the rest of the day, you were going to do your work with a level head and absolutely zero distractions.

“there you are, I couldn’t find you this morning when I came in, I was worried you were gonna leave me all alone today” well fuck that entire plan.

Your eyes left your computer screen instantly and met Leons, he smiled down at you and placed a to go cup next to the stack of papers on your desk, you glanced at it in confusion and looked back to Leon

“I didn’t ask for-”

“I know. you weren’t here when they went around collecting orders so I put it down for you. Tea with two sugars right?” you nodded and distracted yourself with taking a sip of the beverage, even though you already felt warm it was exactly what you needed right now.

“you like your drinks sweet” it was a statement more then a question, you put your cup down and turned back to Leon

“I like sweet things” you said with a small smile, praying to whichever goddess of love that was watching you with pity at the obvious nerves rolling off of you.

“so do I” Leon’s gaze never wavered from yours and your mouth was overflowing with all the things you wanted to say but just couldn’t, his eyes flickered down for a second and shot straight back up. You sucked in a quiet breath as he rounded the desk to your side, leaning down to you

“your top button is undone, just thought I’d let you know”

if the floor could open around you and drag you down now would be the perfect time.

“oh! I didn’t know- thank you” you spun your chair putting your back to Leon, your shaky fingers fumbled but after a couple of seconds managed to pop the button back into place.

“Kennedy! Come on we’re heading out”

you spun back around quicker then intended and brushed your palms against the smooth material of your skirt, Leon had already rounded to the front of your desk and moved a couple steps away. You slouched in your seat internally cursing yourself for wasting precious time that you could’ve used to chat to Leon, but even then you knew you’d probably would’ve just gawked up at him while he rambled on about some crazy thing that happened while he was on patrol, you wouldn’t have minded of course. The only thing that made you shift self consciously in your seat was that you never had any fun work stories of your own to recall to Leon, besides that one time a drunk college boy who had been thrown in the holding cell had sang his rendition of ‘I want you back’ by NSYNC to you a couple of months ago, Chris still gives you a hard time because of it.

Leon turned back to give you a quick half grin and strolled out the door with the rest of the officers, leaving you alone in a mostly empty room but you had grown accustomed to it, usually the only company you had most days was the rundown radio that sang you static the majority of the time. You felt eyes burning into the side of your face and you shot Chris an annoyed look, quickly noting his was trying to coax you into some staring contest you sat up in your chair and attempted to distract your mind by bundling papers together and figuring out which files needed to be completed today and which ones you could leave future you to deal with.

“what is it Chris?” you eventually huffed, sparing him a half glance while you continued to write down the reports of the robbery that happened down town the other day, seriously how could they dump shit like this to you and expect you actually knew what to write? You weren’t even there.

“your so obvious, I feel like you should have those cartoon heart eyes shooting out of your eyes for fucks sake” his words stilled you momentarily, your heart almost felt suffocatingly tight at the thought of people knowing about your not so small crush on Leon.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” you said, attempting to seem bored as you flexed your hands under your desk, if you start fidgeting he’ll pick up on it straight away.

“sure you don’t” Chris chuckled to himself “you know I’m trained in this type of stuff? I can smell a liar from miles away”

“i’m sure you can” you spoke back sarcastically earning some protest from him.

There was a few hours of peace between Chris and you, both having your respective work to complete before the clock struck six. Chris shuffled out of his seat and you peered out from your desk as he moved to walk past you towards the bathrooms.

“hey, you know-”

“what, Chris.” you huffed, putting your pen down to face the man who seemed delighted in the fact that he has captured your attention

“I like sweet things too” the shit eating grin that smeared across his face had you questioning if this job was worth having to deal with someone who acted like an irritating older brother, you felt your face warm up knowing exactly what he was trying to poke fun at

“never speak to me again” you stated and turned back to your work, listening to Chris laughter boom across the room.

Officers crawled back into the bullpen one by one, each one ready to have to day be done and over with, it was a Friday evening so everyone in the room was excited to go out and have a few drinks after the hectic week. With a proud grin you shuffled your papers into a neat pile and slid them into a large envelope ready to be sent off to whoever, you didn’t really care who as long as they never sat on your desk again.

“you’re a happy girl” Leon grinned, his hands moving to their designated spot on your smooth wooden desk, you gave him a short hum in response and stood up from your chair

“i’m finally done these reports” you returned Leon’s smile and stepped around him “I’m just glad I never have to look at them again” you sighed happily, grabbing your coat and tucking yourself into it snugly. You brought your attention back to Leon and caught his gaze, his eyes glued to you shamelessly. He pushed himself off your desk and stood beside you, for the past year you’ve been working here you’ve come to appreciate how much bigger Leon was than you, usually you were never one for muscles and all but there was something about Leon that made it all so appealing, the way he stared down at you made your stomach bubble with excitement and brain turn to mush.

Aware of have badly you must’ve been staring at him you schooled your features to seem relaxed and unfazed by his sudden closeness, “how was patrol?” you asked, hoping to get him talking so you had time to pump yourself up to talk converse normally to him.

You walked side by side to the door and Leon quickly moved ahead to open it for you, with a quiet thanks you walked through with Leon following swiftly behind

“surprisingly quiet for a Friday evening, not that I’m complaining” Leon said, stuffing his hands lazily in his jacket pockets “would’ve been more fun if you were with me”

“yeah?” you breathed out a small laugh

“yeah, I’d say we’d make a pretty good team” Leon said, opening another door for you and a couple other people who were leaving the station, you waited patiently for him to catch up, trying not to look so eager.

Leon was kind, you had picked up on that on his first day, opening doors wherever he could and always taking the time to talk to people. He befriended everyone with little to no effort, you envied his ability to get along with people as if he’d known them his whole life. Leon was selfless too, he was the one to pick up pretty quickly that a lot of the officers seemed to take advantage of your yes attitude, not having the ability to reject their offers of doing their work ‘just this one time’, a lie obviously but you took it all on with a smile on your face, just happy to help. Leon never dumped his workload onto you. He had come over to you on your second week into the job to tell you that it wasn’t necessary to do other peoples jobs and that you were allowed to say no, you had thanked him but stated that you didn’t mind giving them a hand, with that Leon had taken half the files that sat on your desk, ignoring your protests and saying it would all get done quicker if two people handled it.

“you’re coming out this evening right?” Leons question snapped you from your thoughts, you gave him a quick nod “yep, and you better be going out too, you owe me a game of pool”

“I’d never dream of missing it” Leon replied

“be ready to have your ass handed to you, again” you teased, fishing for the keys in your pocket and unlocking your car. You and Leon had this unspoken routine, He’d wait for you to finish up your paperwork and you’d walk out together, you’re not sure when exactly it started but you certainly didn’t mind the arrangement.

“I’m looking forward to it” he said with a small wave, jumping onto his own motorbike and driving off. You hopped into your own car and sat still in the drivers seat, listening to your quick breathes as you recalled the last fifteen minutes, you let yourself squeal in delight for a moment before turning your car on and heading home. Seeing Leon at work was obviously amazing, but seeing him outside work? It felt so much more personal. As handsome as he was in his Racoon City Police Department uniform, seeing Leon out of uniform was also just as breathtaking, his skin tight navy shirt left little to the imagination, and usually left you with a burning face.

The last time officers had decided to meet outside of work for drinks had been one of the best nights out you’d ever had, you swear you’d never laughed so hard in your life and it was nice to see your friends without the usual stress lines dancing across their foreheads. You had ended up spending most of the night with Leon who had sworn up and down that his pool skills were unbeatable, this however was quickly refuted when you managed to beat him four out of five rounds, towards the end of the night your own pool skills had dwindled as the alcohol had made you sloppy which an equally as tipsy Leon loved to point out.

The night had become a blur quickly but you remember catching a taxi with Leon, leaning into him as you both laughed when recollecting Chris’s drunken attempt to order more beer, the poor man not even remembering the name of it. You remember cringing in the morning, the realisation of how clingy you had become making you feel sick when you walked into work the following Monday, you were prepared to have Leon ignore you but to your surprise he had come straight over to your desk and asked how the rest of your weekend had gone, saying he couldn’t wait to go out again.

You were determined to make this night as good, or even better than the last.

The booth was a lot more crowded then you had expected, the bar was packed full of drunk party goers and left little to no room to navigate your way around the floor, You were squished up between Chris and Marvin, who were arguing over who had better aim while you sipped away on your vodka coke, trying not to let your eyes drift over to the door with little restraint, you had been here for an hour now and Leon had yet to grace you with his presence. With a bit of struggle you managed to squeeze your way out of the booth, placing the empty glass on the bar you waited to ask for another drink in attempts to distract yourself. It’s fine if he doesn’t show up, totally fine, you just wished you hadn’t worn out your best outfit-

A drink was pushed in front of you and you shot the bartender a confused glance “I haven’t ordered-”

“I did” came a voice from over your shoulder, you turned you body quickly to face Leon and you swear your heart was beating at a hundred miles per hour, he stood tall over you with a boyish grin splashed across his face. You didn’t miss the way his eyes drifted quickly down your form before jutting straight back up to look you in the eyes, he was going to be the death of you.

“thanks” you said, quickly realising you were stuck between the bar and Leon “did you just get here?”

‘Yeah sorry, traffic was shit” he passed the bartender a ten dollar bill and grabbed the beer from their hands “you ready for me to kick your ass in pool?”

you rolled your eyes at his cockiness and made your way over to the empty pool table “loser pays for the next round?” you challenged, grabbing a pool cue and setting up the table.

“oh you’re so on”

You were five drinks in and leaning the majority of your bodyweight onto the pool cue in your hand, admiring Leon as he rounded the table a few times, still deciding where to take his shot from, when he rounded the table for the third time you finally let out an impatient groan “Leon come on, you’re taking forever”

Leon shot you a playful glare before lining up his shot, which to your surprise landed perfectly into the hole across from it.

“looks like you’re paying for the next round, sweetheart” that was another thing about tipsy Leon, he preferred to call you anything but your name. Leon moved to stand next to you, throwing an arm over your shoulder and pulling you both back into the booth behind you with a thud, drawing a bubble of giggles from your throat “I think we should take a quick break from drinking” you laughed, shuffling so you could sit up in the booth, Leon’s arm moved to pull you up against his side and you happily leaned into the embrace.

“yeah, I’m not sure how much more damage my wallet can take” Leon said, attempting to grab his wallet from his pocket

“and who’s fault is that?” you teased, poking a finger against his chest with a playful smile. Leon grinned down at you and reached for your hand, intertwining your hands together firmly.

“it’s your fault” he said, making no movement to drop your hand. If you had been sober you’re sure you would’ve been speechless at the lack of space between Leon and you, your jean cladded thigh was pressed up snugly against his, and a strong arm was wrapped securely around your waist. You gave Leon a cocky smile “It’s not my fault I’m better than you”

the calloused pad of Leon’s thumb drew circles on the exposed skin of your hip, sending thrilling cracks of electricity up your spine and making you shiver. Your eyes tore away from Leon’s for a moment to check your surroundings, the clock read twelve thirty and the bar was still packed, you and Leon had snagged an isolated area of the bar so you probably weren’t in view of anyone. Leon seemed to realise that at the same time as you and you felt a hand brush against the side of your face, tucking a fallen strand of hair behind your ear gently. The movement turned your attention back to Leon who seemed delighted to have it, his hand had stalled on your cheek and you couldn’t help but lean into the heat of it

“you’re so warm” you said in awe, it almost felt like leaning against a human heater

“yeah?” the deep rumble in his voice made your chest tighten, you realised just how close you were.

“yeah” you breathed softly, letting his hand guide your face closer to his. Suddenly everyone in the bar din’t matter, the voices of party goers drowned out by the drumming of your heart in your ears, Leon’s eyes seemed to darken the closer you both grew, noses bumping into each other until all you could focus on was the sound of your shared breaths

“Leon..” you whispered, waiting for him to move, to do something.

“is this ok?” he asked, his grip on your cheek moving to grasp your chin, making sure you were looking at him. you nodded.

Leon’s head dipped down and he captured your lips in his gently, you gasped softly against him and Leon used this to deepen the kiss, arm wrapped around your waist pulling you flush against him. The kiss was soft and clumsy, not that you minded one bit, the last thing you had expected to do tonight was make out with Leon. A whistle from the barman who had spotted you pulled you apart, breathless and blushed. When your eyes met Leon’s it felt like being in one of those cheesy eighties movies, when the girl finally kisses the guy and everything starts to fall into place, the world around them seems more fluorescent and some old love song is playing quietly in the background. It felt like something from a dream, a dream you never wished to wake from.

Leon tilted his head back slightly, his hand snaked up to push some of the hair out of his eyes and you couldn’t help but admire him. You hands moved without you thinking and aided Leon with guiding the hair out of his eyes, the soft touch stole Leon’s attention.

“you ready to get out of here?” Leon asked, his hand leaving his hair and seeking your touch again

“we’re definitely getting a taxi” a statement which Leon’s agrees with instantly, you couldn’t imagine walking home in this state.

Practically skipping out of the bar you hung off Leon’s arm and stared up at a rambling Leon who was smiling like a fool, the streets were bustling with life and the pavement beneath your feet glowed with the help of the street lights above, views of the city you had seen for years suddenly meant so much more when you had Leon beside you to see them too.

“you’re not working tomorrow, are you?” you asked curiously, you know lots of other officers have rocked up to work hungover but Leon never seemed the type, always wanting to be the best he could.

“no I asked for the day off” he replied, his infamous brown was currently draped over your shoulders and Leon couldn’t take his eyes off of you, your hair flung around wildly from the midnight breeze and you were sure your mascara had most likely smudged a bit during the night, but Leon didn’t seem to notice a flaw on you.

Once you had successfully called a taxi over you hopped inside with Leon close on your tail, you had given the taxi driver your address and had turned to Leon to ask for his address but he paused, staring at you almost shyly “listen, you don’t have to say yes obviously but I got this game recently and I was wondering if you wanted to come over and, you know, check it out?” you watched Leon pinch the bridge of his nose and sigh, a light pink hue overtaking his skin “ok that sounded weird but I swear it would only be that-”

“I’d love too” you said, watching Leon’s face morph form embarrassment to relief with a laugh.

True to Leon’s word you had strictly played this new game he brought that night, you woke with a fright when the games loading screen screamed at you to ‘start now!’ at around eight in the morning. You attempted to stretch from your snug position but realised pretty quickly that you weren’t able to move, peeking your eyes open a small bit they delightfully landed on the heavenly sight that was a sleeping Leon Kennedy, face flushed from the heat of your combined body’s and worry lines relaxed out, you realised he looked so much younger when he didn’t have the days work piled onto him.

Maybe you were too quick to judge, to soon to point fingers and blame that archer for your heartache, you supposed there were stories from myths like this, weren’t there? The goddess of love would watch lovestruck people from afar and guide them in their journey into becoming one, the possibility was there.

Maybe Cupid wasn’t that mean of a man to you after all.

𝐀/𝐧: HEYYY IM BACK school has been kicking my ass so i’ve been lavking in the posting department. I legit have so many unfinished drafts and i keep getting stuck at certain oart BUT i will have another Percy fic out, i’ve just been going through a re4r phase and had to make this. Also valentines days coking up so i wwnted something sweet cus yeah, also someone be my valentine pls 🥲❤️

[macabremadness]

fiddleford mcgucket is so AUUUUGHFHSHSGFJ like he is crazy he is a silly goose. just a guy from tennessee who knows how to build literally anything and wanted to make tech to improve peoples lives first like mf built the first portable laptop and cell phone and got NO credit. he wanted to make robot legs cuz he didn't wanna walk but imagine if he was able to actually make some as mobility aid anyways i think about that a lot

that one time ford suggested to gather the cute little living minerals to help them lead them out the cave tunnels while fiddleford instead just picked them up and banged them together to relight the lantern and they all just scattered and one bit ford. he's so smart <3

weird cows producing weird milk that might be dangerous for human consumption? fidds fuckin drank that shit straight out the bucket. and i think he took it with him the rest of the way cuz he dramatically spit it out upon seeing cso

hes like a chihuahua to me he just stands there and pathetically shakes but then he also gets really feisty and bites. he canonically growls as an old man

how many gifts has fiddleford given ford at this point? like hes given him an axolotl, handmade gloves, a handmade snow globe, a custom laptop, squash with a human face, essentially his life. "hey what is the universe was a hologram" had the trajectory of his life changed forever. LIKE BEFORE BACKUPSMORE HE NEVER EVEN DRANK COFFEE and then ford is just "oh yeah i gave him like 15 cups or something"

AUGH THE GLOVES AND THE SNOW GLOBE..... "gee ford how come you get TWO presents" says emma may with nothing. LIKE HIM AND FORD HAD SUCH A GREAT CHRISTMAS AFTER THE KRAMPUS THING BUT LIKE I FEEL BAD FOR TATE MAN AND YALL ALREADY KNOW MCGUCKET CARES ABOUT HIS SON SO GODDAMN MUCH

(violently cries)

his ass is NOT afraid to use the memory gun on people like hes made people build the portal and the bunker for free and wiped their memories and hasnt been afraid to wipe ford's too like damn man. hes a little too trigger happy. he also made an entire cult because of it and then forgot he made an entire cult

he made the bunker security room. he decided it would be a good idea to crush intruders to death. not to mention all the destructive robots hes made in his crazy old man era. i love him at his best and his worst your honor

we salute 45th president mcgucket, gave out free robot spiders. and he prevented the entire covid pandemic. it's so funny to me cuz he took over northwest manor first and then the white house. i would be fine if the whole world had one ruler and it was mcgucket and you know he would find a way to turn himself into an immortal robot he will NEVER die

he's married to a racoon. has not even questioned his marriage once. that racoon is tate's step mom and i don't even think he questions it at this point either. we salute first lady of the united states raccoon wife

also give it up for parallel fiddleford!! literally from the canon "everything went right" au. portal wouldn't exist without our fidds and the quantum destabilizer wouldn't exist without parallel fidds give it up for all two canon fiddlefords carrying ford 🙏 anyways where's all the au content of that specific universe—

not to mention mcgucket's entire story arc which i really cannot put into words rn in this dumb post because its so AAUUUGH you feel me?

anyways yeah. this post is absolutely not coherent but i just think fiddleford mcgucket is neat and underrated (and as much as i love fiddauthor/fiddleauthor/fordsquared/fordford/banjoportal/etc. i feel like he's getting stuck solely in shipping LET HIM BE HIS OWN GUY PLEASE). also thank you book of bill for existing because it made me remember gravity falls was a thing i was obsessed with as a kid and looking back at everything as an adult is CRAZYYY

okay peace out love you mcgucket stans

[ahedderick]

Soil acidity

A month or so ago, my husband started drinking coffee. Yeah, he's 57 years old. Yeah, he JUST started drinking coffee. I don't drink it, so there has never been coffee-making in this house, except when my brother used to visit. And I just realized - I can have coffee grounds! For compost! For my acid-loving blueberries! He has been dumping his grounds in our regular compost bucket, but I'm going to set aside a jar for them and save some up. This is good news! I might try dumping some around some of my tomato plants and not others - to see if there's a difference. Although, to be fair, that probably should have started when they were just getting started in May.

Anyhoo. There was a 4:15am racoon/chicken alarm that got us all out of bed. The chicks are fine, humans very disgruntled. Then a 6am cat puking event. What wonders will the rest of the day bring?

[starswritewhispers]

no longer human, less than a man [1]

A03

prologue

chapter 2

Summary : The gods had abandoned humanity long before Osamu Dazai was born, but his existence quickly grew to become a beacon of hope. Where he would walk, whispers would follow and murmurs of a path back to the gods quickly grew to battle cries. When he and his two companions went missing on one of their journeys to godhood, the cries quieted down to murmurs and whispers until eventually, both they and the gods were nothing more than myths.

Nobody had accounted for Dazai not only becoming successful in finding the lost shrine, but achieving the godhood that came with it.

For 80 years, he was left alone in his divinity, until a drunk college student stumbled upon the shrine of chaos.

OR Chuuya and Dazai are gods reborn

Not many people in the world would describe Chuuya as patient.    He was brash, quick to react, and quicker to emotion, and despite anyone who took more than a one second glance at him being able to decipher that he loved harder than he hated, most avoided pissing him off out of fear of that quick anger.  Sadly, his friends had long grown tolerant to his outbursts. “Let go of me,” he hissed, eyes flashing dangerously as he leveled a sharp gaze at Tachihara. The other man only squished his cheeks further, forcing him to hold eye contact. “People are staring.”

“That may be because you very loudly called him an example that cheap box dye can kill brain cells,” Gin piped in, horribly unhelpful, despite her sugar tone.  She offered a faux naive smile when he glared her direction and Chuuya was–as he often is, in her presence– reminded that most poisons taste sweet. “Besides, he isn’t wrong.” She waved their argument off, eyes darting back to her phone. 

“Gin,” Tachihara groaned, not yet relinquishing his hold on Chuuya’s cheeks. “Back me up more, this is so much more important than whatever you’ve got going on.” “Ryu is talking about the god dude again,” She groaned, looking at her phone as though infected. “We’re in our twenties, how does he still have imaginary friends?” “Maybe he’s just indulging Atsushi,” Kenji offered, looking up from his agriculture homework for the first time during the conversation. “Both of them call the guy Dazai.” Personally, Chuuya could care less about whatever concussion based hallucination the two closet cases shared.  He hadn’t cared to begin with and he cared even less when Gin dragged him to the location the two maniacs promised the guy would be and instead of meeting a god, buckets worth of snow dropped on all of their heads from a tree branch snapping above them. “You guys are focusing on the wrong toxic relationship,” Tachihara tsked, ignoring Gin’s protests. “Chuuya, my redheaded brethren–” “Do not call me that–” “Look me in the eyes–” “You’re not giving me much of a choice–” “--and promise me, you will not go to the Sheep’s party.” “Even Chuuya isn’t–”  It was Poe who spoke up this time, before he paused, studying Chuuya’s, thankfully now Tachihara free face, and a frown twitched at his lips. “He might be.” Chuuya was not about to take criticism from a man who’s closest relationship was to a fucking racoon he found shivering in a dumpster their freshman year. “Might be what?” He hissed, rubbing at his cheeks. “I’m not going to show up at my ex’s frat just because Yuan invited me. It’s obviously a ploy to get me into his pants.” 

“Promise?” Tachihara demanded, eyes narrowed. “Yes, dipshit, I promise.” Tachihara breathed out a sigh of relief as Chuuya let out an offended huff. Honestly, the lack of faith his friends had in him was disturbing.  -

Which was why when he found himself drunkenly stumbling through the streets after getting absolutely shitfaced at said party he promised not to make an appearance at, he made a second promise to himself.

His friends would not find out about this, under any circumstances. 

Which lead to his phone, instead of being used to guide him home, was currently shut off and in his back pocket.  His apartment wasn’t that far from Frat’s Row so the chances of him getting completely lost were slim, but he had never been the best with directions to begin with. At least this way, if his friends checked his location, they'd just assume he let his phone die when he fell asleep. “Shit,” he mumbled, eyes moving around the unfamiliar area. He had managed to wander into the middle of what seemed to be a construction site, which would’ve just been annoying, except for the fact that there was no active construction near his apartment. “Why do you hate me?” He tilted his head up to the sky, continuing moving forward up until his foot slipped and he was sliding down into the ground.  A startled yelp tore from the back of his throat as he tumbled out of the shaft onto the cold surface, eyes widening as he took in his surroundings. “What the fuck?” He demanded, looking behind where he had tumbled out of only to see that the hole had somehow closed. “I’m never,” he began, slowly sliding himself off the altar-like structure he had landed on. “Ever taking a brownie from Kaji again.” He groaned, looking up to face the massive statue in front of him. He was most certainly in some drug induced high brought on by Kaji’s weird experiments.  He squinted at the words--or at least he assumed they were words–scrawled onto the plaque at the feet of the statue and sighed,  moving his gaze around the rest of the room.  His eyes landed on an unlit, petrified torch that seemed to be levitating in the middle of the room. “Definitely a drug induced dream,” Chuuya decided, walking forward to the floating torch. “If I wake up in Shirase’s bed, I’m going to get murdered.” These words were mumbled to himself, although, every sentence he had spoken aloud, unless the walls suddenly grew ears, were also spoken to himself. He tilted his head, staring blankly at the anomaly in front of him. He reached for the torch, figuring that it was a way for his subconscious to both wake him up and insult him at the same time. You’re not very bright. The flickering torch seemed to scream at him as he wrapped his fingers around the wood.  The world seemed to tilt on its axis, Chuuya’s vision dancing with sparks as he fell to the ground.  His attempt to catch himself on the altar only led to his hand getting cut, an odd, glittering gold substance leaking out of the scrape.  He didn’t have time to question the oddity of it all before his vision went fully black and the world slipped away from him. 

-

Chuuya woke up in his own bed, hazy memories of a voice that sounded merged with the tinkering keys of a piano fading away in his mind as he rubbed at his eyes. God, who made the sun so fucking bright. “You got carried home,” A whiny voice from his left accused, sounding quite put out. “My disciples just let me get lost and wander.” Chuuya shrieked, rounding to face the owner of the voice and meeting the gaze of the most attractive man he’d ever seen.  The man’s dark hair was a mess of waves, but somehow still suited his annoyingly attractive face. His own blue eyes met pools of amber, hints of mischief glinting in them as the man’s lips curled into a mocking smirk. At least the maniac Chuuya apparently brought home was hot. Even if his fashion sense was abysmal. “What are you wearing?” He demanded, eyeing the trench coat and bandages with clear distaste. “Were you wearing that when we met?” He hoped not.  Even at his worst, he hoped he wouldn’t have been okay being seen around that. “Is bringing home strangers common for you, then?” The man’s voice had an odd lilt to it, a branch of amused with a hint of mockery. There wasn’t any real malice in it, but certainly no kindness either. It was the kind of tone that would suit the villains Poe always gushed about, the ones who treated the world like their own personal game of chess. “And, seeing as this is our first time meeting,” He said casually, obviously, as if it didn’t mean he had broken into Chuuya’s apartment, “I am wearing this, and it’s far better than your outfit.” “You broke into my apartment?” Chuuya demanded, scooting to the far edge of the bed. Fuck, Tachihara was right about last night. “What the fuck–” “I didn’t break in,” The man waved it away, as if the idea was a pesky fly. “I was summoned by your disciples.” Chuuya was definitely about to get murdered by a homeless man with a god complex. His corpse would end up on the news, probably defiled and carved up with weird symbols this man dreamed in a drug induced haze– Kouyou would sob at his funeral and remind their dads that ‘I told you that he shouldn’t have gone to school in the city’ and his ghost wouldn’t even be able to defend itself. “My name’s Dazai, by the way.” The man continued on, completely ignoring Chuuya’s panic. “Dazai?” He repeated, voice sounding hysterical to his own ears. The name rang a bell, many bells in fact, but he couldn’t follow the string of recognition amidst all his panic. “Please don’t fuck my corpse, Dazai.”

“Not like you could become one, anyway,” Dazai answered in an odd, sing-song tone, “You really are quite small to be chosen as a god.” “Excuse me?” Chuuya demanded, feeling irrational anger pounding at the walls of his brain. The man was clearly a lunatic and arguing with him about his height was probably the least productive thing Chuuya could do, but per usual, his mouth was running before his mind could leash it. “You’re dressed head to toe in bandages and you want to insult the way I look?” “Can you calm down, shrimp?” Dazai’s lips quirked up at the edges, looking over Chuuya’s shoulder. “You’re making shit levitate with your fun sized rage.” “The fuck do you–” The words died in Chuuya’s throat as he saw multiple objects float up into the air, seemingly suspended there, actively defying gravity. “Oh my god, I’m still in the drug dream.” He whispered to himself. “Am I in a coma?” He demanded, staring at his hands. “Would I know?” “This is quite embarrassing for you,” Dazai–truly, his brain had to make his coma companion this annoying– mused. “Can you put the bed down, we’re about to hit the ceiling.”  Chuuya looked up, a yelp escaping his throat as he saw the ceiling a few centimeters above him. “How the fuck–” “Just think down, it's not that difficult." The bed crashed to the ground. 

“This is the worst hangover dream–” Chuuya began, but got cut off by the sound of loud knocking at his apartment’s door.  “I have a key and I’m not afraid to use it,” Tachihara’s loud voice floated in and Chuuya groaned. “Why did Gin see a photo of you on Shirase’s lap on Higuchi’s private story?”  A soft, unintelligible, voice added something, probably Gin confirming the story.

It all sounded so real, it all felt so real, but the shrine couldn’t have been real, his books and bed floating midair had no way of being real and yet–

Chuuya paused, looking between Dazai and the door. He remembered that photo being taken, right before he wisely stumbled his way out of the frat house and down the hall–before he had his weird shrine dream.  Would a dream be this connected to the real world?

“You’re awake,” Dazai confirmed, rising off from his cross legged position on his bed. “And your friends sound quite angry.”

Chuuya wanted to go back to sleep.

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

WEEKLY TAG WEDNESDAY

hello all! thanks for the tags @creepkinginc @lingy910y and @mybrainismelted and for the super fun game @energievie

Name: gigi

Age: 24

Location: brooklyn baby 🌸

And now...

If you could hang out with any cartoon character, who would you choose and why? Colette Tatou from ratatouille

If you could bring back any fashion trend, what would it be? Good quality clothing and the ability to dress up

What sport would you compete in if you were in the Olympics? surfing or swim/dive or waterpolo! I competed in all three in highschool and i think its time to take my talents to the Olympic level

Which actor would you want to play you in the movie about your life? 90's Winona ryder, I think we look alike and she could capture my vibe

If you were the captain of a pirate ship, what would be the name of your ship? The Bad Omen

If you could see one movie again for the first time, what would it be and why? Spirited away, bc it takes so many dreamlike turns the best viewing experience is when you don't know what will happen next

What’s one thing on your bucket list that you really want to do? Run a marathon

If you could have any animal, real or imaginary, as a pet, what would it be and why? Racoon! and I was very disappointed to hear a lot of whining about rabies from you all last week and let me just say, i dont want to hear it, okay? they're adorable, super clever and the definition of the word critter and i like that about them bc im also a critter!

If you could invent a holiday, what would it be, and how would people celebrate it? Volunteering day! Everyone gets a day off to help with big projects around their community

What’s the most interesting place you’ve ever visited in your country? The art institute in Chicago is the best curated museum in the US hands down its a really clean collection, but alternately also love the isabella stewart gardner museum in boston for having the messiest collection.

Also around seven national parks. Next up Acadia hopefully

tagging:

@jrooc @spookygingerr @thepupperino @burninface

@solitarycreaturesthey @mickeym4ndy @catgrassplantdad

@iansw0rld @ian-galagher @mmmichyyy @blue-disco-lights

@heymrspatel @atthedugouts @doshiart @suzy-queued

[jacksdinonuggets]

Idea for a fic:

Vaggie keeps insisting “I'm fine“ until she finally breaks down to Carmilla.

Here it is!

Vaggie really didn’t want to go to training. She was feeling small, irritated, depressed, and lonely. Charlie was still up in heaven, doing things up there, and left Vaggie and Lucifer to run the hotel. Since Lucifer spent most of his time in his room with his ducks, Vaggie had a very stressful couple of days. It was hard to sleep without something to cuddle, and all of her stuffed animals were at her mentor’s house. So she had eyebags and was exhausted by the time she needed to head out towards Carmilla’s.

When she got there, she knocked once before the door opened, revealing Odette.

“Hey, Vaggie! You look… tired,” Odette led her in. she looked a bit concerned.

“I’m fine, I can still train,” She pushed past her and went to change into her workout clothes.

She returned to the main room they trained in and saw Carmilla there, waiting for her. When she saw her student, she also gave that pitiful, concerned look.

“Are you able to train today? You seem-”

“I’m fine!” Vaggie interrupted, “Lets just train,” 

Carmilla was still a bit worried but didn’t push her to speak.

When they were sparring, Vaggie didn’t seem to be focusing. It was like she was zoned out while fighting. This caused her to fall…a lot. Carmilla started to wonder if the girl had gotten a concussion. She was out of breath the whole time and didn’t really seem like she was there mentally.

“Alright, Break time,” Carmilla announced. She went to go grab Vaggie a water bottle but was stopped.

“I can keep going,” she piped up.

“No, you’re going to take a break,” Carmilla practically demanded. Vaggie huffed, the feathers on her wings puffed out.

Even during their break, vaggie was still so out of it. She was just staring into space and bouncing her knee.

“Are you sure you’re-”

“I said I’m fine, Carmilla!” Vaggie snapped. She took a chug of water before standing up from her bench, “Lets just train,” 

Carmilla sighed. This girl was going to break any time now.

Over the time, she could tell Vaggie desperately needed to rest. She was sloppy, had taken many hits that she normally would dodge, and was sweating buckets.

“Okay, stop,” Carmilla commanded, making vaggie freeze.

“Whats wrong, Bebe?” she asked, walking towards her. She put a soft comforting hand to her cheek.

“Why does everyone keep asking that?! I’m fucking fine!” She moved away from Carmilla’s hand.

“No, you’re not,” The overload said, seeing right through her eyes, “You’re exhausted, you’re constantly zoned out, and you keep insisting that you’re fine. I know you’re not, Vaggie, I’m literally a mother and your caregiver,” she said.

Vaggie grumbled. The voices in her damn head that kept telling her she wasn’t good enough for love got so strong now that someone was actually caring about her. She couldn’t help but fall to the ground and pull at her hair while screaming. It was the only thing she could do that would release all this pent up energy.

The overload quickly dropped to her knees and hugged the crying child. She rubbed her back and pet her feathers, trying to soothe her. 

“Shh shh, its okay,” Carmilla whispered into her ear. She summoned Vaggie’s little gear and handed her one of her favorite stuffies. It was a soft racoon. She squeezed it while she cried. 

When Vaggie was calm enough, she told Carmilla about her rough and tiring week. She listened to her vent about it and calmed her down when she was about to get worked up.

“It sounds like someone needs a nap,” The overlord picked her up once she was finished. She carried her to her room and plopped her pacifier in. she tucked her under the covers before settling into bed with her. She summoned a story book and opened the page and began reading.

Once vaggie was asleep, she turned out the lights and put up the bed rails. She didn’t want the girl to fall off the bed. 

Meltdowns often happened, but Carmilla knew how to deal with them.

[therotconsumer]

Roadkill Racoon Process

Raccoon wip, collected November 16, 2023

macerated whole in this bucket because I only had time to gut it LOL

Drained almost all flesh and fat today, though clearly not well since I ended up creating a puddle of raccoon juice quicksand

On the skull you can see the head injury since this animal is roadkill, also some excess fat around the eyes

[spockandthings]

Day 7 - Assassins ; CW - Resident Evil 4 Remake AU, Guns & Knives

Written for @mr-sadman Dreamling Week ; dedicated to @mentallyinvernation ❤️‍🔥✨️

Hob made his way into the Castle. He was tired. Trekking and killing his way through an infested Spanish village hadn’t been on his bucket list, to say the least. But he had orders, and he needed to retrieve Rose before anything could happen to her and before their infection could progress. Fuck all of these egomaniatical fools and their super fucked up parasites. Hob was eager for the mission to be dealt and done with. 

Hob entered a bedroom, noticing its window slightly ajar. Curious, he approached, his gun still raised protectively in front of him. He wasn’t even a few steps in before a familiar voice rang behind him.

“You can stop right there, Hob. Wouldn't make me use this, would you?” Dream’s voice was accompanied by the tell-tell noise of booted heels and a handgun. 

Hob smiled at the voice, before raising his arms up in surrender and letting his gun drop to the ground. “Well after six years, that is one hell of a greeting… Dream.”

“You don’t sound very surprised, interesting,” the other man’s cool voice replied. 

Dream was barely finished with his sentence before Hob was turning and pouncing on the other man, drawing his knife out. Hob grunted as Dream evaded his attacks. Dream smiled as he twisted and turned around Hob, staving off his attacks. However, Hob wasn't the same rookie cop that Dream had met six years ago in Racoon City. He’s matured, he’s been trained and, most of all, his body was now a very lethal weapon. It didn’t take long for Hob to adjust and manage to hold his knife at Dream’s throat. 

“Try using knives next time. Better for close encounters,” Hob tilts his head, observing Dream.

Dream gave him a small, almost proud, smirk. “Not a bad move. Very smooth.”

“So who are you working for this time?” Hob asked, narrowing his eyes towards Dream.

“You know I don’t work and tell,” Dream smoothly replied.

Hob sighed, dropping his knife from the other man’s throat. 

Dream continued talking, making his way back towards the open window. “Leave the girl. She's lost no matter what. You walk away now… and who knows? Maybe you'll live to meet me again. And then I might get you that "greeting" you were looking for.” 

Hob let out a puff of laughter. “You think I'm gonna give up that easily?”

“I guess not,” Dream sighed dramatically. “How about we continue this discussion another time?” he added while looking over his shoulder, more teasing.

Hob shook his head before heading back to pick his previously discarded gun off the floor. He barely had the time to stand back up before he was left alone (again) in the lavishly decorated bedroom.

“You never change,” Hob sighed as he holstered in handgun before returning to his quest.

He had more pressing matters to attend to than following after the mercenary assassin who had stolen a part of his heart in the outbreak of Racoon City.

[On AO3]

[pillatedcompills]

Hellur @springbon-t-art I don't know if I went overboard on this but here is Spudz Charlie Sploof Shroom Com Pik-Paws William Spiral Miller ( or just me lol )

If you're wondering what my favorite ending is.. Its the zending. I love the concept of it, as well as the pretty colors and lights. The gloves Spudz is wearing is based off it. Memento Mori is a phrase / concept I live by, and zending reflects this.

Incase you're wondering what my fit is . The racoon thing on the head is a reference to Teen Titans Go the Oregon trail episode where robin has a racoon hat on his head. The leaf is a pikmin reference as well as the flowers. The heart is a reference to virgin heart, from will woods song Against the kitchen floor. My buddy purble pikmin aka Moe / Hair the goober or just grape is there in the bucket. The In case i make it album cover is on the bucket ( by will wood ) . The tie is a reference to tally hall + my gfs oc fishy hall ( the pink tie on the pants as well ) The rainbows and the palm tree is a reference to Hawaii Part ii ( miracle musical ). The fish with a tie is also a reference to fishy hall, requested by my gf. On the bucket is also a arrow referencing the adventure line. Ofc Ourple man on the pants. The eye is a reference to the Self-Ish Album by will wood and the tapeworms. The worm with the mouth is a reference to the Everything is a lot album by Will Wood and the tapeworms as well. The TBN references the normal album by will wood . 2012 ww is a reference to will woods song 2012. The WW references will wood as well. The lightning strike is a reference to rainbow dash from my little pony . The employee tag 715 is a reference to my birthday. The blue tie is a reference to zubin sedghi from tally hall . Finally the flag is the demisexual / demiromantic flag.

Yeah its a lot- ik LOL i went overboard anyways i hope you like it, I don't have my phone so I made this in microsoft paint </3.

[dpsisquared]

I am completely sure that all the blue lions had each at least a -not so subtle- try to make their beloved feral racoon of a prince to get a shower while he was at the cathedral.

All from: gentle nudging (Mercedes), accidentally dropping a bucket of water on him (Anette... which was actually accidental), a brand new water spell (Constance), to almost pushing him to the pond (Felix... Silvain stopped him).

I feel like the pond scum would make things even worse. And Annette is hilarious.

I read a fic where Dimitri uses the baths when everyone goes to sleep, giving the reason that he's not gonna miss out on his revenge because of some stupid infection, and I have kind of adopted that hc. Like, how long can slaughtering an entire imperial camp take? A few hours? And we know he doesn't sleep so that's a lot of time to kill. So figure another couple hours for looting corpses, eating the bare minimum to stay alive, weapon maintenance, and ghost guilt sessions... He's got the time to dunk himself in a river on a semi regular basis.

[callmegkiddo]

How was the Mercs from TF2 react to the reader buying your favorite food/sweet treat in order to get in good with them or let them know about the crush they’ve been harboring.?

 Ohhh, a request from someone I didn't threaten to steal their teeth... AWSOME :D

Ohhhh, thank you for this request! I usually do this too sometimes-

Off we go!

Also please check my pinned post, I have a character limit, please check it next time before you post

Sniper:

Surprisingly he like to eat baked potatoes, it was his moms specialty back home.

He’ll take it with slight surprise, no one had ever thought of giving him gift before, unless your Pyro of course.

He’s hesitant, he’s a professional he can’t accept feelings as sappy as love.... But he appreciates it. He really does, he will eat and savor the taste of the baked potatoes you gave him.

He won’t accept your confession that easily though, your gonna have to work for it.

He will find it heartwarming though, to see you trying to gain his approval and affection. It makes him feel special, and not even his parents make him feel that way....

Scout:

He likes chicken, and he buys chicken to flirt with any women he thinks is hot.

Soooo, seeing you do the same to him? Hooked, frickin hooked-

He will chow down and even offer you some of that sweet delicious bucket of chicken

Just know though that just because he has accepted your offer of chicken, doesn't mean he will see you as highly as he does for Ms. Pauling.

Your gonna have to work your way to the top. Unless of course you already have and he's been pinning for you and Pauling, so it's a win for him really.

Over all he will be cautious, but he'll start pinning for you if your continue with this chicken offering thing.

Spy:

He loves croissants, yeah shocking, he’s a french who loves croissants-

But he doesn’t just love croissants, he loves chocolate filled croissants. The delicate and gooey filling of melted chocolate oozing out of the crispy and buttery bread.

He drools slightly at the mere mental image of it. And the fact the closest Bread bakery that sells his precious croissants are 6 miles away? Yeah he isn’t that willing to go that far...

So seeing you gift him not 1 but a basket full of chocolate filled croissants? Be prepared for a kiss to the back of your hand as thanks.

He will find it sweet how you go out of your way to bring him such delicacies.

He will accept your confession, only out of pity at first, but he will slowly warm up to you if you continue your acts of kindness.

Soldier:

Ah, barbeque, who doesn't love it? I don't, but Soldier? Jane fricking Doe? He loves that shit to bits.

And he will, he will bring you out for some barbeque if you do give him some.

He's good at grilling, but cooking in general in an actual pan or kitchen? Nah.

He's also pretty oblivious, so please just as your giving him the barbeque, please give him a racoon plush that's holding a heart. That'll get his gears turning. He may be stupid, but he isn't dumb.

He will question you on your view of america, do not lie to him, he knows when people are lying.

Buuut, if your view on america is good enough to him? He will accept you whole heartedly as his forever partner.

No exceptions. He will grill you whatever you want for any meal. Hot dogs? Already in a bun with your favorite condiments. Steak? Medium, Medium rare, Rare, or Well done cupcake? He will wait until you choose.

Pyro:

He likes Sweets, specifically Ice Cream, it was perfect, especially for the hot summers and heat waves of the base.

He would engulf you in one of the biggest bear hugs you have ever received. He will give you the best nuzzles and you will be twirled around.... Till the ice cream melts of course- Please buy him a new one.

He will gift you plushies and flowers, a sign of accepting whatever you have for him, your confession and love included.

He is such a sweetheart for you, he will make flower crowns and even rush over to give you a simple peck on the lips (with his mask).

So many gifts, so many treasures, all of which you might need a storage room to store in...

He won't stop showering you with affection, the closest Ice cream parlor was around 50 miles away, and expensive. So for you to buy him such exquisite delicacy was more than enough to prove your worth of being a partner to him.

Medic:

Surprisingly enough, he actually likes pastas. He mostly likes how fun and tasty the sauces are, and boy does he love the pastas itself. So many fun shapes to see and eat.

There’s this Italian restaurant that’s also around 50 miles away from the base, and he takes his sweet time to go there. He especially loves the lasagna they serve.

However, he won’t take the confession as normally as you think he would.

He’d either A. Experiment on the pasta, or eat it while working, or B. Gift you an organ as a thank you. The organ also depicts his answer to your confession. If it’s a not beating heart, he will accept your confession, but would like to take it slow. If it is a beating heart, he returns your feeling for he himself had feelings for you aswell. If the organ is a stomach, that means he will only consider you as a friend.

He’s just really glad someone else decided to give him food. Usually it was Heavy or Engie who gives him food. But you? That means it’s special.

And he likes it when his gifts are special.

Heavy:

It isn’t a surprise that he loves Sandwiches. Everyone knows it, even Ms. Pauling knows it, and she barely visits the base!

But it was Heavy who always made his sandwiches, not you, the last time someone made a sandwich for him without him asking was his Mama.

He fees warm inside... Seeing you give him a display of various sandwiches is so domestic and lovely. He can’t help but scoop you up into a hug!

He will gladly make you sandwiches in return, as snacks on the field or when you need some brain food.

He will be rather warm and accepting of your confession, he finds it cute how shy you are when you gifted him the sandwiches.

He’ll be gentle towards you, and slow, he wants you to be comfortable around him. So feel free to tell him what you want him to do or give you in return.

Engineer:

He actually quite likes soups! They're so comforting to him, remind him of his home back in the farm.

He especially loves soups that have carrots and mushrooms. He remembers his mama making him types of soups with them specifically when he felt under the weather.

So seeing you gift or even just cook for him any type of soup with carrots or mushrooms? Please marry him-

He’ll blush like crazy, and go “d’aw shucks” on you.

He’s so grateful for your efforts, and he feels especially flustered over your confession.

He might even bake you your favorite cookies, yes he knows how to bake. He decorates the cookies carefully with a heart, this shows him accepting your love.

As said before he’ll accept your affections and confession, but please let your relationship go slow. He’s a first timer in being a romantic partner.

Demo:

He likes churros, that's it, he once visited this restaurant near his Mama’s place that sell churros, and he ate some with his Mama.

Both him and his Mom loved them, and whenever he visited he would buy some to eat with her.

And churros can be bought at the same place Spy’s croissants are made. So he’ll be pleasantly surprised to see you with a bag filled with various flavors of churros.

He feels like a kid at a candy store. He’s all over the churros, his drunken arse having sobered at the smell of the delicious sugary bread sticks.

Give him a bit to compose himself. He’s too busy eating on some custard churros to properly comprehend anything else.

When he does end up composing himself, he will wrap you up in a tearful hug. With slurred words he will thank you, please hug back, he’s overly appreciative of your gift.

He will hesitantly accept your confession, he’s distant, but please be patient, he just doesn’t want to end up with a broken heart.