#buck i just 🥹. like oh god. this man can give it to me ANY. DAY. 🤤

[kboo1999]

Fuck yes buck, fuck me up daddy yeeeaaasss!!!! 🤤

[kboo1999]

OMG. RIGHT!!! I said the same thing. It's making my heart just feel so whole.

I like how these last episodes are bringing back small bits from Buck Begins, like Buck knowing how to ride a bike, or him being in the football team

I wonder if we're gonna see him skateboarding next 😂

[elvensorceress]

Wednesday is for the WIPs

tagged by @lostinabuddiehaze @dickley-buddie @rogerzsteven @spaceprincessem @fatedbuck @spotsandsocks @prettyboybuckley @confetti-cupcake @monsterrae1 @zainclaw @bekkachaos @deluweil @rewritetheending 🥹💕 I love you all so much!

tagging @messyhairdiaz @swiftiediaz @gaydisasterdiaz @blutterlie @alyxmastershipper @jobairdxx @ajunerose @the-likesofus @ashavahishta @sibylsleaves @fleurdebeton @shortsighted-owl ��if any of you haven’t already and want to share something 😘💕

Unless You Ask Me To is way out of my control now. It was not even 20K in the first draft! 🙃 The rewrite is asdjfksl who even knows. But have some more because everything needs more Karen Wilson. 

As soon as Christopher reaches the front door, Eddie kneels and hugs him as if they’ve been apart for years. Chris pats his shoulder in a placating way but also gives him a, “Dad. It was two days,” and wriggles away so he can seek refuge and peace in his bedroom. 

It’s fine. It’s all fine. Because Eddie shuts the front door and reaches for Karen before she can go back to her car. He urgently motions her closer and leans down to whisper to her as if someone might somehow hear them. “He told me he loves me.”

She gives him an odd look. “Who? Chris?”

Eddie huffs. “No.”

“No? Oh. OH.” Karen’s eyes grow wide and then she turned her voice to hushed, conspiratorial tones. “The boyfriend? He loves you?”

The boyfriend. His boyfriend of four months. Who is sweet and considerate and patient and nerdy and fun. And all Eddie can think about is how the only time he’s thought it, mentioned it, felt it— is when he confessed that love? Love to Eddie, for Eddie? Love means Buck. 

“Yes, the boyfriend,” Eddie tells her. “He told me he loves me.”

“Awww,” she smiles proudly like Eddie is a child who’s shown her the messy, scratchy drawing he’s made that she knows is objectively terrible but is maybe subjectively adorable and makes her sentimental. “That’s great, Eddie. Good for you. I’m happy for you.”

At least someone is. 

It’s not that it’s a bad thing. It’s a very good thing. He likes Raúl, he likes being with him. Dating is fun and enjoyable for once, and they just had a perfect, romantic night away together. Unless you factor in the fucking panic attack. There’s that little tiny detail. 

He should be happy. Eddie wants to be happy. He shakes his head and just feels even more guilty and terrible about it. 

“And you said…?” Karen waves her hand— either like she’s confused and wants to know more or like she’s conjuring a spell that will put him out of his misery. He hopes it’s the latter.

Eddie pushes his tongue to the front of his teeth. “He told me I didn’t have to say the same. Or feel the same. I don’t know. He’s very casual and nonchalant about everything. I kissed him and we just—” Eddie shrugs because he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know how to feel about this because he’s much too busy feeling like a failure for being unable to have sex. 

Feelings and emotions are full today. He’s way over capacity. They’ll have to try again later. Except not. They should not try again later because he’s tired of feeling anything. They can fuck off forever. 

Karen shrugs back. “And you just—? Fucked? Or no, made sweet emotional love because he loves you?”

Jesus fuck. Eddie holds up a hand. “No. Nope. No, because that’s the thing. That is the thing. I can’t— I-I don’t? We haven’t. Not because he’s a man. Just to clarify. It’s not that.” 

“Oh,” she says wisely, knowledgeably. “Is it because you were Catholic?” It sounds like it’s a tragic disease he used to have. The way she says it. And… well. Maybe it was. But that’s still not the problem. “No sex before marriage? No marriage that isn’t a man and a woman? God will cry, you’ll burn in Hell, all that bullshit? Is that it?”

“No. Nothing like that.” Although he can’t say it’s very helpful to think about? “I just…” He looks around even though there’s no one who can hear them, no one near his front door, his neighbors aren’t out taking walks or doing yard work, and there’s no way for anyone to know what he’s going to say. But he has to make sure. “The last time we talked about love? Was when I told him that I’m in love with Buck.”

Karen’s eyes widen so large, they just might pop right out. And then she has to glance around, too. Like she’s also wondering if anyone was around to hear what he just told her. “You told him you’re in love with Buck? You’re in love with Buck?”

Why the fuck did he think it was a good idea to bring this up? What in the hell was he thinking? He pinches the bridge of his nose and then tells her. “It was months ago. I had feelings before I even met Raúl and I told him about it because I didn’t want to be dishonest. I was expecting to break up, but he basically said, of course I was in love with Buck and he already knew, from the beginning. But it wasn’t a dealbreaker because we could still build something together if we wanted to because— because I know Buck doesn’t—”

Karen raises an eyebrow and gives him a narrowed, suspicious gaze. 

“Even if he feels something. He’s not ready. He doesn’t look at me or think of me like that. He doesn’t want a relationship right now.” And Eddie would fuck up not just everything for Buck and Christopher, but the strongest most necessary support beam relationship in his whole life. Because that’s all Eddie ever does is fuck up every single potential romantic relationship he ever has. “I don’t want to fuck that up. I can’t ever fuck that up. Love doesn’t mean it will work. It doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. I can’t… I can’t.”

“Okay…” Karen seems to accept that. For now. 

“Anyway, the point? I like him. Raúl. I like him a lot. I love being with him. I really do. I’ve never actually really enjoyed a relationship. And I told him the thing that I told him months ago. Because I had to be honest. And I’ve been trying to commit. I am committed. I am. I want to be with him. But— but the last time I talked about love, it was, ‘I love Buck.’ And— and—”

Karen tips her head to the side like she can decipher all the secrets of the universe just by looking. Who knows. She’s a literal rocket scientist. She might have that power. “And you still love Buck. How could you stop loving Buck.” 

It’s not a question. She doesn’t even say it like a question. It’s a fact. And it will always be a fact.