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trekkiehood · 25 days ago

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I Wore The Mask Up High (MotA Fanfic)

Ao3 link

Rating: T Words: 3.7k TW: Canon typical violence, Panic attacks, threats of assault (very mild)

Summary:

“Buck!” The shaking brought just enough clarity for him to hear his name. “Gale!” This time shouted directly in his ear. He flinched away and only then realized how accelerated his breathing had become. “Breathe Gale. Come on.” --- Gale's mask finally starts to crack after a run in with some guards. Bucky is there to help paste it back together.

Authors Notes on Ao3

"I wore the mask up high on a daylight run That held my face in its clammy hand" - The War Was in Color by Carbon Leaf

Buck felt the tension before he saw the crowd. As he wormed his way through the uneasy prisoners he heard the murmurs and eventually the angry shouts be lobbed at one of the guards.

He had no idea what this lieutenant was upset about but he was about to get himself shot. The German sergeant took a step forward and Gale knew they were already working with borrowed time.

“Lieutenant!” He barked, making it to the front of the crowd. “Stand down!” It didn’t matter what the argument was about. It didn’t matter who was right. What mattered was keeping the guards from using their guns or fists on one of his men.

The man, a boy really, they seemed to get younger with every shipment of prisoners, didn’t listen, rearing his fist back.

Gale didn’t have time to think, he grabbed the boy’s wrist, yanking him away from the guard. The lieutenant fell back and was caught by a few of the guys who had gathered around “Get him to his barrack, now.” he ordered the first man who dared to make eye contact with him.

They nodded, pulling the stunned man back through the crowd. Buck had only managed to take a single step before he felt a hand grasp his left arm. He fought the initial urge to fight back, freezing instead. A gasp ran through the men at the same moment he felt the cool barrel of a rifle level against his right temple. A second guard had joined and apparently wanted an example.

Gale didn’t move. He barely breathed. But he saw the men before him and knew he couldn’t risk showing fear right now. He had to focus on keeping the men calm and not getting shot. A few men broke away from the group and he could only imagine they were running to grab the Colonel. Hopefully he could get here before things escalated even further.

Finally, he slowly held his free arm out, palm forward and clear. His left arm was still tightly grasped by the initial guard and he didn’t want to risk being accused of an act of aggression. He wasn’t sure what to do. There seemed nothing to do except to wait and see the outcome of his fate. The Germans were speaking to each other and maybe he could have picked up some of the words if he wasn’t so focused on keeping his breathing even.

A commotion had broken out and Gale wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. Then he saw the cause. Bucky had pushed his way to the front of the crowd, followed closely by Benny. His eyes blazed with anger but that wasn’t what Buck saw. Gale saw the fear. The panic. The grief.

Buck watched him, begging with his eyes for him to not do something stupid. He should have known better. With a growl, Bucky lunged forward. DeMarco grabbed him around the waist, yanking him back and frantically whispering something in his ear. He wasn’t sure what Benny was saying but after a final shake, Bucky stopped fighting to get free and was released.

All his attention had come to rest on Bucky. He should have known better. Gale couldn’t hold back the surprised grunt when his left arm was twisted backwards and pressed against his back. The guard was going to break his arm. It may not even be intentional. Gale hated how weak he had become. How fragile, brittle, his time in the stalag had made him. He could feel the bones wanting to give under pressure.

The anger sparked in John’s eyes, he grit his teeth and seemed to be using every ounce of control he had left to not lunge forward. Benny’s hand snaked up, grasping hold of Bucky just in case that self control broke.

Another hand gripped his upper arm in a bruising hold, bringing his attention away from his friend and back to his current predicament. “You are very pretty, ja?” The words whispered accompanied by the hot breath on his neck caused Gale’s mask to slip, if only for a second. His breath caught, eyes seeking out Bucky. “We could have so much fun with you.” A small pause, the crushing grip on his wrist tightening. “But shooting you now would also be fun. Such difficult decisions.”

Something in John’s face shifted and Gale knew he had to reel in his panic, control himself. Bucky couldn’t come in guns blazing to save him. Not this time. But he would try. If Gale couldn’t manage to tamper the panicked glint in his eyes…

He couldn't show weakness. He had to bring his breathing back under control. The guard behind him laughed at his obvious distress.

Slow breaths.

In through the nose for four.

Out through the mouth for four.

Don’t look at Bucky.

In through the nose for four.

Out through the mouth for four.

Look anywhere else but at Bucky.

“Entscheidungen.” The man with the gun said with a chuckle. He may have brought his breathing under control, but he couldn’t hide his pounding heart. Not from the man who pressed up against him. Holding him in a way that made every fiber of his being want to lash out.

Buck wasn’t an idiot. He knew how some of the guards looked at him a little too long. It made him cautious to walk alone in less populated areas. To avoid one-on-one interactions with any of the guards, just in case.

But now there was no avoiding it. The thought lingered in the back of his mind that this whole ordeal had been planned, strategized. They knew he would stand up for his men. Goad any kid into a fight and Gale would be there ready to play peacemaker. Ready to take the fall and whatever punishment they deemed fit.

Against his will his eyes returned to Bucky. He didn't know what his own eyes said, felt too disconnected from himself to control anything except the steady breaths he had to force, but he saw Bucky's jaw tighten.

He tried to beg with his eyes. Plead with him to not do anything stupid. To not let Gale’s fate dictate his own. But he knew Buck wouldn’t listen.

John’s eyes only blazed with fury and a desperation that scared Gale. It would spill over soon. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen soon.

“What is going on here?!”

Buck’s eyes flicked away to where Colonel Alkire was marching towards them with authoritative steps. A few men followed behind, clearly out of breath, but not stopping until they personally saw that Major Cleven was still alive.

Nails dug into the flesh in his arm, but the Germans remained silent.

“Well?!” The Colonel demanded again, now standing only a few feet to their right. “I assume you have a good reason for treating one of my officers like that?!” The Colonel tried not to throw his weight around unless it was unavoidable, trying to save it for when it was really necessary. Buck was thankful that he was deemed necessary.

“He should learn to watch his tongue.” The sergeant behind him hissed, but released his arm.

Gale’s breath caught at the sudden change in position, but he steadied himself, slowly bringing his left arm up to match the right. In doing so, his weight shifted, causing the barrel of the gun to be pressed more firmly against his temple.

Fine.

If they were going to kill him, better for them to do it quickly. With one bullet. He had no interest in living out the war in some Kraut hospital or having to be put down like a dog.

All eyes were on the Colonel, but when Buck’s eyes flitted away he saw that John was only looking at him. Their eyes met and Gale knew with sudden certainty that the second the gun went off, Bucky would be dead too. DeMarco’s hand wrapped around his arm wouldn’t be able to hold him back. Nothing would be.

A riot would break out. Chaos. More men would die.

The Colonel knew that too.

He stepped forward until he was at Buck’s right shoulder, inches from the man with the rifle.His voice was low, but held no room for disagreement. “If you pull that trigger I won’t be able to control them. Neither will you.”

“Lass ihn gehen.” The sergeant behind him did not sound happy as he ordered his friend to let Gale go.

“Nein, das ist unsere Veränderung. Er gehört uns!”

Buck’s German wasn’t perfect. Far from it. But he understood enough. It wasn’t the “no” that had his eyes breaking from Bucky’s to watch the Colonel’s response. It was the, “He’s ours.”

“Then you can explain to the Commandant and the Red Cross why there was a riot that took out half your prisoners. If you survive it. Because you’ll be the first one they go for.” It was not the normal imposing voice of the Colonel, but one that commanded the same respect. He wasn’t bluffing. They all knew it was true.

The only answer was the same voice from behind him, “Gehen!”

A harsh pressure on his back had him stumbling forward. The sharp stinging on the side of his head flashed and then went numb with the intense ringing that seemed to come from inside of him. His knees failed and his outstretched arms were the only thing that kept his face from losing the war with gravity.

For a moment it was like living in the space between a heartbeat. The world, still around him. The only sound, blood rushing in his ears and his own labored breathing. He blinked, hearing muffled voices grow louder. He should know what they were saying. The pisces felt meant for him. But he couldn’t comprehend any of it. A warm sticky substance was dripping down the side of his face, gathering in the corner of his right eye, but he didn’t think his shaking arms would be able to reach up and wipe it away. Or if they would be able to hold him up for much longer.

Then the world came screeching into a painful clarity. A hand was on his back, words all around him. So much light and color and sound. It was like he was trying to focus a camera while the radio played at full volume.

He was surrounded, his men having pressed themselves between their fallen major and the Germans. The claustrophobia warred with a deep gratitude and love for them.

“Buck!” The shaking brought just enough clarity for him to hear his name. “Gale!” This time shouted directly in his ear. He flinched away and only then realized how accelerated his breathing had become. “Breathe Gale. Come on.” He thought it might be nice to just lay his forehead against the ground. Yeah. That might be nice.

No.

Right.

Breathing first.

Gale closed his eyes, letting his head drop slightly.

The grip on his shirt tightened, but he ignored it, focusing on slow breaths. He couldn’t break down. He couldn’t let his men see him like that. He couldn’t let the Nazis win. Not today. Not ever.

“Alright,” He said quietly, shaking his head. His voice was calm if not as strong as it normally was. His breathing was under control now and the ringing in his ears had died down. “Alright. I’m okay. I’m okay, John.” Gale began to push himself up, Bucky quickly moving to help him. Someone else was there too, on his other side. Normally he would push away the help but he wasn’t sure he would have been able to get back on his feet without it. As soon as he was standing, he shook away his friends. The first step almost caused him to stumble. “I’m alright.” He assured them, stepping out of their reach. Needing to prove to himself and the others that he could stand on his own. The adrenaline was wearing off. He needed to get to the barracks now or he wasn’t going to make it.

But the crowd around him was getting louder. Angry shouts mixed with conspiratorial whispers. He couldn’t let this happen. Couldn’t let his men die for him without cause.

“Alright!” He shouted as best he could above the crowd. The ones closest to him turned but the rest didn’t seem to notice him. “Alright, fellas, listen up!” A few more looked at him, but it wasn’t until Bucky let out a shrill whistle that all eyes turned. He gave his friend a small nod of appreciation before addressing the crowd. “Everything's fine. I’m okay. Nothing happened. Go to your barracks and cool off.”

“You’re bleeding!” Came a shout from the crowd.

Gale's hand came up to where he was only just starting to feel the sting of the cut near his hairline. “Just a scratch.” He said confidently, even though he had no idea what had happened or how it had gotten there. “Don’t worry about it. I’m fine, and you are too. Now cool off before something does happen.”

This time the murmurs seemed discontented, but not on the verge of a riot. Good enough.

Buck decided to set the example, turning towards his barrack. A handkerchief was shoved in his hand by someone, probably Benny, and he held it up to his face. Bucky was close on his left side and Gale was glad as he felt the last dredges of adrenaline start to fade. Not wanting to appear weak in front of his still frustrated men, he carefully reached out and hooked two fingers into Bucky’s belt loop. It steadied him enough without giving away his current state to the rest of the men. It was also about all he could manage, his arm screaming at him with every small jostle and movement. His fingers felt clumsy and stiff.

John stepped closer, hand coming up to grip the back of Gale’s shirt. He should push him away, reassure his friend that he was fine and didn’t need the help. But he did need the help. His hand was trembling too much to make the handkerchief of any use, so he dropped his hand, tightening the grip on the cloth as it rested by his side.

The last several feet from the yard to their own room faded in and out. The only thing he seemed to be aware of was his inner monologue.

In through the nose for four.

Out through the mouth for four.

In through the nose for four.

Out through the mouth for four.

It was the same rhythmic pattern he would follow before a flight. Or after a bad one.

He blinked and found himself sitting on the bench seat next to their table.

“What can I do?” He heard Hambone say but it sounded like it was from a long ways away. Like he wasn’t even in the room.

“Keep the rest of the guys out. Send them to the rec hall or something, just don’t let them in here.” That was Bucky. He sounded intense. Buck should probably snap out of it and get him to calm down. “Benny, get some water.”

Gale blinked and found Bucky in front of his face. “Buck? Hey Gale, you with me?”

He wanted to say yes. He knew that it was technically the correct answer. But he couldn’t get his tongue to move. He also suddenly found that he couldn’t breathe.

It wasn’t until now, in the relative quiet and privacy of the barracks that he realized that he had been scared. Freaking terrified. And his body was just now giving him permission to fully react.

He’d been scared before. He’d had bad flights. Lost men. Gotten shot down. Captured. Then the rest of Bucky’s crew had arrived but as the days trudged on, no word on his best friend. He’d been scared before.

But nothing like this.

He didn’t know what had happened. What had clicked. Felt different. But it was.

And he couldn’t breathe.

“Gale, come on, look at me. Look at me!”

He obeyed, finding Bucky’s worried eyes boring into him.

“Hey,” His right hand was taken, the handkerchief falling to the floor, and pressed against Bucky’s chest. “Hey you need to breathe for me. Come on, in for four, you know this.”

Buck blinked, but he could feel the pulsing of Bucky’s heart and the controlled rise and fall of his chest.

Right.

In for four.

Out for four.

His forehead found Bucky’s shoulder, finding comfort and stability,

In for four.

Out for four.

It was like a rhythm.

Like flying.

In for four.

Out for four.

“Here.”

Gale flinched back, head jerking up to find Benny holding out a cup of water.

Feeling steadier than before, Gale untangled his hand from Bucky's, taking the cup in a shaky hand.

“I got it.” Bucky said softly, retrieving the water. “Go get the doc.”

“Bucky-” Gale began to protest, but Benny was already half out the door. “I’m okay.”

“Sure you are.”

“It’s just going to make them worry.”

“Well maybe they should.”

Gale’s eyes met Bucky’s and the concern he saw there opened something in his chest.

“Here.”

Buck reached out, grabbing the cup, but John didn’t release it, helping to guide it to Gale’s mouth.

“I’m sorry.” He said after pushing the water away.

“Don’t. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

A small quirk to his lips. “You weren’t even there when it started.”

“No but it doesn’t matter. It was a power play. They wanted to intimidate us.” He reached down and grabbed the handkerchief, dipping it in the water. Then looking directly into Gale’s eyes. “It didn’t work.” He wasn’t sure if that was an observation or an order.

The cloth came up and began to wipe away the blood.

“When did I hit my head?” He cringed at his own words, knowing that it further reinforced the fact that he was far from okay.

“The Kraut with the gun.” The pressure used to wipe away the blood increased, but Gale didn’t react. “He wouldn’t let you go. Even when the other one told him to. The gun was so tight to your head it left a dang circle imprint.”

“It scraped me when I fell.”

He grunted affirmatively. “Most of the bleeding has stopped now. It don’t think it needs stitches but it’ll probably scar.”

What was one more souvenir from paradise?

They sat in silence after that. Buck slowly felt more like himself, Bucky slowly swiping away the blood. It wasn’t necessary. Gale could do it himself. And the medic was on his way. But it really wasn’t for him. John didn’t do well without something to do.

“What did they say to you?”

“Hm?” Gale hadn’t even realized he’d closed his eyes until he was opening them again.

“The guard. He said something to you. What was it?”

A whooshing sound came from somewhere and he could feel his heart rate pick up.

He let out a breath, hoping it was disguised as an amused laugh. “Nothin’ important.”

“Come on Buck, you need-” whatever he was going to say was cut off by the door opening.

The camp medic wasn’t a trained doctor. If something was really bad they could go to one. But it was easier to keep things in house. To avoid the aid station and keep things off the official records.

“Let me see.” He said without preamble. Bucky moved to sit beside Gale on the bench, the doc taking his place. After examining his head, he nodded. “Shouldn’t need stitches. If it opens up or you start having head trouble let me know.”

“Check his wrist.” Bucky chimed in and Gale had almost forgotten about it. It had remained unmoving since arriving back in the bunkroom.

The doc frowned, taking the swollen hand in his own.

“It’s not broken.” Gale was quick to note. He’d had broken bones and he knew this wasn’t one. A sprain maybe. But more than likely just a straining of the ligaments.

“It’s hard to tell with all the swelling. Hopefully it’s just bruised. Can you move your fingers?” Gale found himself relieved when the honest answer to that question was yes.

The medic sighed. “I can wrap it but I don’t have anything to give you for the pain right now. Hopefully the Red Cross packages will be here soon.”

“That’s all right.” He hardly felt the pain right now he was so tired. “I’ve had worse.”

Bucky made a noise beside him, but Gale was too focused on not falling asleep to decipher it.

It was a struggle, but he made it through the doc’s ministering.

“Try not to use it too much. Get me if it worsens.” The last part was directed towards Bucky.

“Benny, see the doc out.” Was Bucky’s answer.

Gale’s lips twitched at the eyeroll given in response.

As soon as the door closed, John was on his feet. “Alright, here we go. To bed.”

“I’m fine.” But he didn’t even believe himself. Come to think of it, he wasn't completely sure the words came out of his mouth.

He was moved to his feet and was glad that someone else was doing all of the work. Gale was flying all engines feathered.

“Sleep. We'll talk about this tomorrow.”

Gale grunted. There was nothing to talk about. It was over now he was fine.

But sleep. Sleep sounded good.

His head hit the pillow and he was already halfway gone.

“You're not allowed to die.”

The words were spoken quietly while a think blanket was suddenly covering him.

“Just… just don't die.”

He wanted to answer the words. Respond to the words they weren't supposed to say out loud.

He wanted to tell Bucky that they'd be fine. That they'd both make it out.

He wanted to make him promise that if Gale did ever die he wouldn't follow.

But his mouth wouldn't move and wrist was starting to hurt and there was still a strange ringing in his ears. Maybe all of that could wait for the morning.

Notes:

I rambled about fic ideas here if you're interested :) Please let me know what you think!

#mota fanfic #masters of the air #fanfic #gale whump #gale buck cleven #john bucky egan #buck cleven #bucky egan #clegan #platonic soulmates

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gramaphonejammin · 4 months ago

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Need more Soulmate AU Clegan…any variation would be so juicy like imagine: soulmate AU where soulmates feel each others pain and John only realizes when Gale is nearly lynched upon bailout (maybe he convinces himself it’s Gale because he cannot be dead or maybe he sees the fading bruises and finally understands)

Or in a soulmate AU where each person has the other’s first words tattooed on their skin but Gale feels unworthy of love so when John says something unmistakeable like “So you’re my roommate! You ready to take to the skies?” Gale forces himself to reply with a generic “Hi. Nice to meet you.” And keeps the secret of them being soulmates until the war is over (or John finds out when he sees the mark in the Stalag) or in the same vein in a world where soulmates make you see the world in colour for the first time Gale pretends he still sees in black and white (until he slips up!)

I could go on. Just so much potential for these two 😭😭

#clegan #these two are really driving the brain worms rn #mota #buck x bucky #soulmate au

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elissanatok · 7 months ago

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﹒•˒⟿⭒「𝐑𝐀𝐑𝐄 ❞」ʿʿ ⟿☼ 2

↳✉⭒˞˔˙ː❛ -ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡?✹⋮

◌༄۵ !𝖺𝗏𝖾𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗌𝗈𝗎𝗅𝗆𝖺𝗍𝖾 𝖺𝗎 !

!𝚂.𝚁. //𝙱.𝙱.// 𝙿.𝙼. //𝙿.𝙿. !

𝖱𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗓𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗌𝗈𝗎𝗅𝗆𝖺𝗍𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝖺 𝖼𝗎𝗍𝖾 𝗇𝖾𝗋𝖽 𝖺𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗇𝖾𝗐 𝗌𝖼𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗅 𝗂𝗌 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖺 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝖿𝖾𝖼𝗍. 𝖱𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗓𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗁𝖾 𝖽𝗈𝖾𝗌 𝗂𝗇 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖿𝗋𝖾𝖾𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾, 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗐𝗁𝗈, 𝖺𝗌 𝗐𝗁𝗈, 𝗂𝗌 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖺 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝖼𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗋 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗉𝗅𝖾𝗍𝖾𝗅𝗒 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗐𝗂𝗇𝗀. 𝖱𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍??? 𝖶𝖾𝗅𝗅 – 𝖱𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗓𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗈𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗌𝗈𝗎𝗅𝗆𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗁𝗌 𝗆𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗂𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗁𝖾𝗋𝗈𝖾𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖺 – 𝗐𝖾𝗅𝗅 – 𝗅𝖾𝗍'𝗌 𝗌𝖾𝖾.

a/n: this is complete fluff I guess

Peter Parker felt his fingers twitch for the thousand time this morning. He wished he could give the one cup of coffee he had that morning the fault for this, but he knew something was wrong. He knew his senses were even higher than usually and the strong grip on the strap of his backpack did nothing to release some tension.

He did send Mr. Stark a message telling him something was wrong, but the moment he told him his problem was finger twitching Tony stopped answering.

His brown locks were ruffled, and Ned's eyes widened when he met him in the halls. "Woah what happened to you man?", he asked, analyzing his friend from head to toe. "I – I don't know. Something is wrong." He started rubbing the itching art on his body. Usually, he loved it. The fine sketch of a woman who's reading a newspaper, keeping her legs crossed, was his favorite part about his body. Although it wasn't really about him. It would make his day - looking at his waist in the mirror and tracing the lines till they had burned themselves into his mind. God, he loved the idea of her feeling his touch. And even after he found his favorite part to be the favorite part to three other men, he still couldn't help but give himself butterflies every time he thought of her.

Her.

Snapping out of his trance, he looked at his friend who was raising an eyebrow at him. "Did you listen to me? Hey dude where is your mind. I just told you the best thing ever!", "Sorry.", Peter mumbled, biting his lip. "So there's this new girl, alright. I have math with her. She's hot. So hot bro. And- and- ", "Yeah she's cool I guess." Both guys snapped their neck towards MJ, who was slightly smirking as she stopped next to them. "Yeah- so- ", "What's her name?", Peter asked wanting to meet her now that his friends already got to know her. "Y/n. Cool right?", Ned said grinning. "Yeah -cool. Look – I should go.", "You alright Pete?", asked MJ, to which he nodded, before he speed walked to his next class, just to freeze in the door.

Her hair was beautiful. Braided in some kind of pretty bun which he had no clue about. Her nose was wrinkled as she looked down at the notebook, the pencil tightly held between her fingers and her lips in a pout. "Shit.", he whispered, looking at her lips. They were rosy, not red, not too big, but not too small. The perfect match to his.

Wrinkling her eyebrows Y/n slowly looked up, but came to the conclusion she must have imagined the feeling of someone starring at her, because no one was standing in the door. No- the boy who was leaning outside of the room, with a rapid beating heart and red cheeks couldn't look into her eyes.

Everything he imagined could come true now, but he wished oh so dearly for it to be Steve or Pietro who got to meet her first. Look- Peter was an awkward, shy boy most of the times and even tough he would be the one to spend some time with her alone before he had to tell the others, he was scared shitless.

She wouldn't laugh at him if he started to ramble or said something that sounded wrong. Right?

Peeping around the wall he took a deep breath. Her legs were crossed, the same way the lady from his soul mark did. Another deep breath followed, before he closed his eyes and- he opened them again and fell right into a deep pool of y/e/c.

Y/n’s head was tilted slightly as her mouth went dry. "H-Hi.", she whispered and started fumbling with the rings on her finger to prevent from falling around his neck immediately. "H—Hey", Peter coughed out, getting even redder cheeks when he took in her smell. "So- you're my soulmate huh?", she asked, trying to ease him and herself a little bit. "I guess."

"Is that bad?", she asked nervous. "I mean is- am I- "Her self-consciousness was interrupted by her teacher walking thru the door next to them. "Mmh." She didn't find the words she was searching for, so she pointed at the door and left in a hurry. Great. Just Great.

It did exactly go like he always imagined. Not really tho.

He sighed, as he rubbed a hand over his face. He didn't even know where to start from here. He didn't know if he should tell the others first or get to know her. He was going to have a heart attack at the age of seventeen and it would be her fault. Y/n St. Lorenz would be the death of him.

Slightly she took her eyes of her book, when the sound of the chair next to her being pulled backwards met her ears. Peter -again- took a deep breath. "It's – uhm- fantastic.", he smiled, and tried to memorize her face. "What?", she whispered, and looked in his eyes again. "I- uhm- you know- you are – it's not bad that you're my soulmate. It's perfect. You're perfect." A blush spread over both their faces. "Oh- You don't even know me.", "But I would love to."

"I guess that can be arranged.",

"Great. I'm Peter -Parker uhm- Peter Parker.",

"Nice to meet you, Peter Parker. I'm Y/n.",

"Perfect.",

"Yeah- Perfect."

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sleepy-hyperfixations · 9 months ago

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i saw one for Douglas/Blakely and needed to rectify the lack of a clegan one real quick

#mota #masters of the air #buckbucky #buck x bucky #clegan #someone pointed out that they do get separated #but they reunite #soulmate shit

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alouiadina · 4 months ago

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Clegan soulmate au where Gale doesn't think he has one because for some reason his soul mark (whether that be a name or the first words said to each other) is no longer legible/there. Maybe his dad burned it off of Gale when he was too young to remember, because he's homophobic, or maybe his mother did because she nor her dad were born with a soul mark, and did it out of jealousy. Or maybe it's because some freak accident when he was a baby/toddler and his parents just never told him he had a soul mark in the first place either because of jealousy or homophobia or both.

Then he meets Bucky, who freaks out when he meets Gale, and Gale is just sitting there, confused. Bucky is just as confused when Gale tells him he doesn't have a soulmate. John proves to Gale that he does, showing him wherever soul mark is.

#buck x bucky #masters of the air #gale cleven #john egan #mota fanfic #mota #clegan #buck cleven #soulmates #soulmate au

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voiceoffenrisulfr · 2 months ago

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Near Misses and Nearly Missed - Chapter One Loved or Lost?

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 -> James "Bucky" Barnes x Original Nonbinary Character (Soldierbug)

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 -> The soulmate part was just the way the world worked. The car crash? That was a little more unexpected. Sometimes a 'crash-into hello' is a little more... Crash-y.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 -> 9039

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 -> (E) Smut, Car crash (mild), distress

𝐀/𝐍 -> Less Romance, More Smut. Sorrynotsorry.

Check it out below, or on AO3 here! Dividers by us!

Chapter Two ->

Prompts used (boards at the end);

- ‘Obsession’ – Any Fandom Dark Bingo( @anyfandomgoesbingo) ; - ‘First Meeting’ – Build-a-Bucky Bingo (September) ( @buckybarnesevents); - ‘Soulmate AU’ – @eclipsingbingo; - ‘Laughing While Kissing’ – Eclipsing Bingo (Dark); - ‘Wet Dreams’, ‘Scarring’ – @fandom-free-bingo Bingo (Flight); - ‘Double-Ended Dildo’, ‘Walking in the Snow’ – Fandom-Free (Frosty);

- ‘Fleshlight or Dildo’ – @julybreakbingo (5x5); - ‘Car Crash or Trapped in a Burning Building’ – July Break Bingo (6x6); - ‘Accidental Confession or First Kiss’, ‘Meeting someone they’ve been having romantic/sexual dreams about’, ‘Unexpected’ – July Break Bingo (7x7); - ‘Trust or suspicion’ – July Break Bingo (Kofi Exclusive); - “Why Are You Looking at Me Like That?”, ‘Cabin in the Woods or Stranded Without a Signal’ – July Break Bingo (Summer);

- ‘Dom Space’ – Kinky Things Happen Bingo (deactivated?); - “Taste So Good… So Sweet…” – @lgbtqbingo; - ‘Character A's Deepest Thoughts Begin to Mark Character B's Skin Wanting to Do Dirty Things. It Could Be Embarrassing at Times, and Character B Can't Wait to Fuck His Soulmate’ – @multifandom-flash (Soulmates); - ‘Crash-Into Hello’ – Multifandom-Flash (Valentine’s Day); - ‘Fuck Me’ – Sweetheart Bingo ( @sweetspicybingo);

‘It’ll happen for you one day… Right?’

I slammed my hand against the steering wheel, seething. How dare they? Just because they’re married now, they think they can accuse me of being a… A…

Snarling once more, I jerked hard on the wheel, the tyres skidding on loose asphalt as I skidded around the bend.

Just because I haven’t met them yet doesn’t mean they’re not still out there. I’m twenty-seven – I’m not that old. There’s still time. I’m not Lost. I’m not.

There was nothing in this world society pitied more than the Lost. Everyone had one – at least one – perfect person, a match just for them – be it platonic or romantic, as they needed. Usually in pairs, though triads, quads, or even bigger groups had been known to happen. The only given was that the Older, or Olders, were alive when the Younger turned eighteen. Usually, they met within a few years.

Which meant that either my Soulmate was younger than expected, or…

When the Younger was old enough, each time they thought of touching their Soulmate, the touch would show on the Older’s body, just for a few moments. It was thought to be so the Older knew it was time.

I’d never known a Younger who’d gotten past twenty-five before meeting their soulmate.

But maybe I’m just really unlucky. There’s stories about Soulmates living in different countries and not meeting until they’re both well into their thirties. Sure, it’s really rare, but it’s possible; it’s gotta happen to someone, why not me? Or – yeah, maybe they’re just younger than I thought. But I’d know if they were gone.

Right?

That was the other option, of course. The one only hinted at, or whispered about behind cupped hands.

The only guarantee for Soulmates is that they’d both be alive when the Younger turned eighteen.

That didn’t mean they’d live long enough to meet.

And that was the greatest fear for so many of us, increasing steadily as the years ticked by. The Lost weren’t rejected or ostracised from society – but they were very clearly other. As if not meeting your Soulmate wasn’t bad enough, you also lived life as a sad example of the height of loneliness and isolation. There were other Lost, of course – but people just seemed to view that as even worse, because ‘isn’t it just so sad, wanting what they can’t have?’

The Bonded didn’t have Lost friends. It’s just the way it was – no hard feelings. Bonded had weddings and playdates to attend to; how could a Lost understand or fit into that world?

And it was happening to me already. Rhodey and Pepper had been shooting me sympathetic glances all evening – the first time they’d hosted since they married the month before. I was the only Unbonded there – not Lost, not yet, but close. And I suppose she’d tried to be reassuring in a way, implying that there was still time, but…

But I just felt even more like the other; I already knew that it was only because of Steve that I was even still invited at all. We’d been best friends our entire life and served in the 108th together for four years – I’d looked after this scrap of boy, carrying his unconscious body to safety, collapsing from blood loss at the sight of an Allied convoy, my exhausted body finally giving in. I knew he’d argue in my defence, pointing out that I saved his life – but it wouldn’t work forever. Eventually the invitations would stop coming, and that would be that.

Lost.

I stood in my boxers in front of my mirror every night, hoping against hope that I’d see a glowing palm – or, hell, I’d take a fingertip – brush over my body. Everyone had said you could feel it – a gentle warmth of skin-on-skin - but I checked anyway, just in case.

And when I slunk to bed at last, flesh cold and heart sinking, I sent out a message of my own.

Just in case.

I pictured trailing my thumb gently over a delicate lower lip. I imagined cradling them to my chest, safe and warm. I fantasised about tucking a stray hair behind their ear, pressing a tender kiss to a sleep-warm cheek.

And sometimes, in the dark of night when I couldn’t sleep, I thought about other things, too.

That lip pulled between my teeth, applying gentle pressure until they groaned aloud and held me tighter. My hands holding them tight to me as they panted and gasped euphorically. Fingers tangled in their hair, face buried in their throat, lips pressed to their skin as we finally made love…

I wondered, as I found desperate release, metal fingers clinging frantically to the sheets, if there was someone out there who was shivering in pleasure at the warmth of my touch, driven to mind-numbing climax without ever having to raise a finger, their body glowing in the darkness.

I wondered what it would be like to hold them against me as I drifted off, hoping that someone somewhere, was smiling in their sleep and curling around a strip of soft light at their waist.

All I’d ever wanted was to meet my Soulmate. When I was younger, I’d never even considered the fact that I may not get the chance.

And now others had started to notice I was still Unbonded… It was the first step to being Lost.

Despite my anger and fear, the thought of touching them – in both the most innocent and sensual of ways – acted as the distraction it always did, my hands softening on the wheel.

I was going too fast, and I wasn’t paying attention.

When I rounded the next bend straight into a set of high beam headlights, I hissed and tugged instinctively on the steering wheel, eyes narrowing automatically.

But I was going too fast, and I wasn’t paying attention.

My wheels met the loose gravel at the side of the road once more, and I yelped as my tyres spun in a spray of asphalt, uselessly seeking friction as I fishtailed. My body jerked as the edge of my bumper clipped the passing car, and I pumped the breaks, turning into the skid and coming to a stop, heart pounding.

I sat still for a moment, inhaling a few shaky breaths before I was able to uncurl my fingers from the steering wheel, my mouth dry as it occurred to me just how close I had been to a far more serious accident. Climbing from the car, I intended to take a moment, inhaling the cool night air to let my annoyance dissipate- but the sight of the other car idling 100 metres down the road had me stopping in my tracks, nausea rising.

Fuck. Fuck…

What if they’re hurt?

What if-

The door opened slowly, one muscular, short-clad leg revealed as a foot found the ground uncertainly. Then came another, followed by tanned hands grasping door and frame firmly, the occupant stumbling as they rose from the car.

I stepped closer instinctively, though my concern was somewhat abated by their capacity to stand. “Are you alright?” I called hesitantly, apprehensive about moving my 6ft, well-muscled frame closer to this individual several inches shorter than myself – and likely shaken – on a dark, relatively remote country road. They leant heavily against the hood, poking thoughtfully at the bodywork as I moved nearer in response to their silence. “Hello?” I pressed, concern building once more at their silence and blatant refusal to look at me. “Hey! Are you okay? I’m so sorry; I didn’t even-”

I was ten paces away when they straightened and turned, arms crossing over their chest as they settled dark eyes on me, shining in the low light. “I’m fine,” they snapped, the slight tremor in their voice undermining the ferocity. “What the hell were you doing? Why did you swerve like that?”

I furrowed my brow in confusion, stunned into silence for a moment before shaking my head hard. “Your lights were too high; why didn’t you turn them down when you saw me?”

Their mouth opened furiously, but they paused before it snapped closed with an audible click, cheeks flushing dark. “You shouldn’t have been on the wrong side of the road!”

“I couldn’t fucking see!” I snapped, fists clenching by my sides in irritation. “Why weren’t you paying attention?”

They blushed harder, overwhelmed tears pricking their eyes. “I-… It doesn’t matter. What about you? If you’d seen me coming and not dropping my lights, you should have flashed me! Forget about me; why weren’t you paying attention?”

The question had me casting my mind back, and I couldn’t help but smile softly to myself, thinking once more of my hands resting lightly on my soulmate’s back. The person before me shivered, drawing me reluctantly back to the present once more, and I frowned. “Cold?”

“No, it’s a beautiful evening,” they deadpanned, sparing a glance to the snow falling steadily and rolling their eyes. “Of course I’m cold; I wasn’t expecting to be getting out of my car whilst driving through upstate New York, at night, in November. I didn’t really dress for the weather.”

I took them in once more, eyeing shorts and tee, topped with a thin checked overshirt that did little to keep out the chill. “No,” I agreed, pursing my lips, pausing only briefly before shrugging off my thick leather jacket and offering it to them wordlessly.

Their large, brown eyes remained oblivious to the proffered clothing, fixated instead on trailing the length of my arm, t-shirt offering no covering to hide the segmented metal of my prosthetic from view. The silver shone faintly in the low light of the moon, and I grimaced at their stare, looking away. “… You want the jacket or not?” I quipped, biting back a smirk as they turned crimson, ashamed of having been caught out.

“I- Yes. Sorry. Thank you…” They took the jacket timidly, hardly able to meet my gaze, and I sighed as their cold fingers struggled to manoeuvre the leather into position. My metal hand closed once more around the collar, and they dropped it quickly, earning a frustrated sound and an arched eyebrow.

“Are you going to do that every time you can see my arm?”

They reddened once more, scuffing a foot and looking away uncertainly. “Sorry,” they murmured with a guilty grimace. “I’ve just- I’ve never seen… I mean, I-I’ve not…”

I sighed as I moved around them, helping them slide their arms into my body-warmed leather. “I get it. I’d stare too.” My fingers flexed of their own volition as I smoothed the collar down gently, and my lip curled. “I did, actually. Saw a few guys come back from the front with replacement limbs not twelve months before I shipped out. Damn sure I stared at the first guy I saw; both of his legs were prosthetics. I remember thinking it was… Amazing, in a way, the things we could do now, but…” I shrugged a shoulder, eyes lowering as I took a half-step back. “I also remember thinking how much it sucked that these things were needed.”

They grimaced sympathetically, head half turning. “Yeah… I wish it weren’t necessary.” They paused for a moment, and I watched with curiosity as snowflakes clung to their eyelashes, each dendrite visible at their proximity. “… Does it… Does it hurt?”

Humming thoughtfully, I looked down at the metal fingers, watching those same snowflakes land on the surface without melting. “… It… Sometimes, I guess. Mostly at the shoulder, but…” I shrugged, jaw tight, trying to ignore the searing, insistent discomfort that burned along the line where metal met flesh each time I thought about my injury. With a firm shake of my head, I looked back at their car, and the snow beginning to fall heavier. “We should get out of here. This storm is gonna break soon, and we don’t want to be on the roadside when it does.”

A worried glance to the sky had them frowning a little, and they nodded, pulling out their cell. They sighed as they held up their phone, scowling deeply. “Of course there’s no service… Why would there be service when I need a tow?”

I cocked my head, eyebrow raising. “I only clipped you – surely it’s driveable?”

“Popped a tyre when I hit the loose gravel,” they muttered sullenly.

“No spare?”

They hesitated, blushing once more, feet shifting with embarrassment. “That was the spare. I put it on a few weeks back – guess I figured there’d always be time to pick up a replacement…” The second eyebrow joined the first, and their scowl deepened. “What? I struggle to remember these things; don’t act like you-”

“Who, hey,” I soothed, hands raising defensively. “I’m not acting like anything; I was just thinking what could have happened if you’d blown it while you were up here alone. It’s a little treacherous in the snow – most locals take the longer way, and we don’t get many tourists. It could have been days until anybody passed through,” I added, concern lacing my voice.

They shivered, pulling my jacket closer around themselves and gazing uncertainly into the woods at the dramatically timed howl of a coyote. “Oh…” A think smile flickered at their lips, and their eyes flicked back to mine. “Guess I’m pretty lucky you were here then, huh? Though I am still stranded out here,” they added, chewing uncertainly on their lower lip.

“You can spend the night at my place, if you like. Or I can call a tow when I get home,” I added quickly, throat bobbing when they eyed me uncertainly. “I get it if you don’t want to crash at a random guy’s house – it’s a dangerous world out there, after all.”

Something in my tone made their taut muscles relax minutely, though they still glanced at me with shy appreciation and apprehension.. “I… That would be good. Thanks.”

After I’d helped them move their car fully free of the road – and readjusted my slightly misaligned wing mirror – we were on our way, their small, trembling frame seemingly swallowed by the heated seat that cradled them. I drove carefully through the steadily increasing blizzard, sobered of my previous anger by the bizarre turn of events.

“Mars,” they blurted suddenly into the silence, hands extending to be closer to the heater, their fingers flexing with a slight grimace. “That- I mean, that’s my name. Mars.”

I chuckled softly, shaking my head at my own forgetfulness. “Mars… Cool name. I’m James, but most folk call me Bucky.

They frowned, digits stilling for a moment as they considered me. “Why? Do you hunt deer or something?”

The laugh this time was louder, joined by a grin at the disapproval evident in their tone. “No. My middle name is Buchannan – my friend thought it was cute when we were kids, and it just kinda stuck. I’ve been ‘Bucky’ for way longer than I was ever James – only my mom calls me that now, really.”

They hummed and nodded, relaxing once more at the reassurance – as if my vow that I didn’t kill Bambi was a comment on the likelihood that they were in danger. “…Won’t your Soulmate mind you bringing back a stranger in the middle of the night?”

The probe was obvious, but I didn’t let it rattle me, simply shrugging light-heartedly. “Unbonded,” I offered before shooting them a wry smile. “What about yours? Didn’t fancy a little near-death experience?”

“I’m Unbonded, too,” they replied readily, scowling when my eyes shifted automatically to the silver flecks in their raven-black hair. “I’m not Lost, even if I am a little older than most. My Soulmate is a Younger, and I know they’re still thinking of me.” I just nodded in response – it was a common lie in the community of the Lost from those desperate to avoid the label, impossible to disprove as it was, and so it was hard to put much faith in without proof – and their frown deepened. “I know you don’t believe me, but just you wait. They think about me all the time, you’ll see. I’m not Lost.”

I nodded again, more firmly this time, hands raised with an imploring expression. “Whoa, hey – whatever you say. I don’t have any particular feeling about it one way or the other.”

They watched me for a moment, eyes narrowed, before turning back to face the snow falling thick and fast against the windscreen. That’s why I’m out here, you know. I’m not from here.”

I snorted softly as I turned into the dirt trail that constituted my driveway. “You don’t say?” I deadpanned. “The English accent definitely didn’t give it away.”

They chuckled. Shaking their head. “I mean, technically, I’m not from England, either. Mum met Dad while she was working as a nurse in Egypt, and he was doing his mandatory service; I was three when her contract expired, and she wanted to move home more than Dad wanted to stay in Egypt, so…” They shrugged, looking out of the window with an inscrutable expression. “I’ve lived in London ever since then. Visited family in Egypt a couple of times, though. It’s pretty fun, even if it is a bit of a culture shock.”

“And now you’re here?” I pressed gently, bringing the car to a halt with the engine idling, too enraptured by their story to consider such mundane practicalities.

“And now I’m here,” they agreed, glancing back to me. “I hit thirty-five, and I just… Couldn’t wait anymore, you know? So I travelled around the UK a bit, hoping to bump into my Soulmate. When that didn’t work, I figured I’d just… Keep going.” They shrugged a little, eyes sliding past e and widening as they focused on the building behind me. “This… You live here?”

I nodded, scratching the back of my neck uncertainly. “Yeah. I know it’s not much, but… It’s quiet, y’know? Out of the way. Keeps me out of trouble, at least,” I added with a wry grin.

“It’s beautiful,” they murmured, still taking in my cabin with wide eyes. “Very cottagecore.”

“I don’t know what that means,” I replied with a snort, shaking my head in amusement. They shot me a broad, impish grin, and I smiled back, captivated by the small dimple that formed in their left cheek.

I wonder if my Soulmate has any cute, unique things like that? I mused to myself, then grinned a little wider, imagining skimming a thumb over a similar dimple as I reached for my doorhandle, looking back as an icy blast of wind sucked the heat from the vehicle immediately. “Jesus, it’s cold – we should get inside befo-”

My voice died at the sight of a brush of warm lift over their cheek, trailing directly over their dimple and making their smile grown ever wider. “See?” they breathed, practically squirming with delight. “I told you. They’re still out there, and they think about me all the time. I’m going to find them,” they added determinedly, fingers knotting together in their lap with barely contained glee.

Coincidence. It – it’s probably just a coincidence. I shouldn’t get my hopes up – not until I know for sure.

But anxiety and fear had stilled my thoughts, and I could only blink dumbly. They all but scampered from the cat, warbling away with passionate energy, their own misgivings forgotten in the excitement as I followed slowly behind.

“I just spent a week in New York – man, is that place busy or what?! – and now I’m heading up to the Northeast for a couple of months; I hear Vermont is beautiful in the fall – does that extend to the winter, too? I hope so; I love the snow. Is it always like this?” They hopped into a snowdrift that covered their bare knees, cackling happily. “I hope my soulmate lives somewhere cool. It’s kind of funny, being half-Egyptian and all, but I really can’t deal with hot weather, not like my sister. Well, she handles it better than me, at least, but my cousins in Egypt handle it best! They came to the UK once, and they-”

Their incessant chattering was cut off with a yelp as they tried to leap from the snowbank, feet landing on a patch of hidden black ice that had their arms wheeling dramatically. I moved instinctively, fingers closing around their wrist to keep them upright, earning me a broad grin when they found their footing once more. “Christ – thanks! I bet it would’ve really hurt if I’d-… I…” Their eyes had dropped to follow my gaze, the glowing of their skin as I released them bold and unmistakable against a monochrome backdrop, finally rendering them silent. It wasn’t until the light began to fade that they blinked at last, oblivious to the snowflakes gathering in their hair.

“… Huh.”

My gaze shifted to their face, our contact finally breaking my mind free of its restraints, and envisioned reaching out to brush a thumb over their jaw - not a faceless stranger, but specifically this stranger, the oddball stood before me with a glowing stripe emerging across their skin.

They blushed, assessing their feet intently, still shyly unable to meet my eye. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You always knew I existed,” I replied with a soft shrug. “You knew I was out there somewhere.” While they struggled to look at me, I found myself quite unable to look away, captivated my small mole on their cheek and the delicate curve of long, dark eyelashes. “I worried that you… That we’d never get to meet.”

Their flush deepened as they glanced at me uncertainly. “But you never gave up hope. You reached out, every single night, holding onto me, and-” They cut themselves off as they turned crimson, teeth digging into their lip when they recalled what often came after. “That- that’s how I knew I had to find you. You were still hoping, even after all this time, and I loved that about you. Figured the lease I could do was help you out, y’know?”

I snorted, shaking my head. “And then I go and almost kill us both by being too busy thinking about you to pay attention to the road.” My eyes immediately lowered to their lips, remembering the fantasies of holding them close, sharing kisses from sweet and chaste to hot and heavy. They grinned shyly as their body glowed in response, and I smirked, one eyebrow raised. “So… Now what?” I pressed uncertainly, barely audible over the swirling of the wind, and they chuckled as they looked about themselves pointedly.

“I’m pretty sure the first step is to go inside; you know… Get out of the blizzard.”

I snorted, shaking my head at my own absent-mindedness. “Good point.” They smiled warmly and moved to take a step forward before crumbling with a whimper. I caught them as they fell, a hand beneath either forearm keeping them upright. “Are you okay?”

They lifted their foot with a wince, lip curling in discomfort. “I think I sprained my ankle when I slipped,” they grumbled, narrowing their eyes at the ground with distaste.

Chuckling, I shook my head once more. “Poor little critter… C’mere.” I offered my arms, and they blushed softly, wrapping their own around my neck obligingly. When I lifted them easily, holding them close to my chest, their body lit up along each inch of contact, casting a warm, comforting glow that set the snow around us aflame with refracted light, and I let out a quiet sound of wonder. “I didn’t expect it to be so… Beautiful,” I breathed, eyes wide, and they grinned, head resting gently against my shoulder as they nodded.

“It’s one of my favourite things in the world,” they agreed, gazing at the scattered illumination with a sense of adoration borne through familiarity. “I, uh… I actually used to have a whole bunch of crystals hanging all around my room, so it looked… Well, kind of like this, whenever you thought of me,” they admitted shyly, cheeks colouring.

I couldn’t help but grin at the confession, one hand shifting to find my keys as I loped up the steps. “That’s deeply adorable,” I chuckled, holding them a little closer while I unlocked the door. They squirmed happily, before becoming immediately distracted as I nudged the door open, head raising to look about themselves.

My cabin wasn’t much, but it was the work of my own two hands – and a few dozen others – and I couldn’t have loved it more. I offered them this information as I placed them gently on the wooden island in the centre of the kitchen, and they smiled, fingers trailing appreciatively over the mahogany.

“It seems idyllic,” they breathed, looking around once more. “You put a lot of work into this, huh?”

I shrugged, face heating a little as I turned away to peer in the cupboard under the sink, distracting myself with searching – far more than necessary – for my first aid kid. “Yeah, well,” I murmured, snagging the green bag. I didn’t say anything more until I was on my knees before them, their boot resting gently on my thigh as I untied their laces. “… I wanted to give my soulmate a beautiful life. I… Built this place for you, I suppose.”

The back of my neck burned as I removed the boot, and they sat silently for a moment. It was until I held their bare foot in my hands that I dared risk a glance up, startled to find them staring down at me, tears shining in their eyes. “… I’m sorry. I- Did I say something wrong?”

They laughed softly, wiping their eyes. “No. God, no. I just- I worried you’d think I was crazy, working so hard to find you. But you were doing a big, beautiful thing all of your own, weren’t you? I love that.”

I chuckled, gaze dropping shyly once more to probe at their slightly swollen ankle with gentle fingers. “It’s not much. I just… I had to do something to keep myself hoping, you know? Everyone was pairing up and finding their soulmates, and it was getting pretty tempting to just give up. I didn’t have any proof, after all. So I guess I… I decided to do something ready for if- when I found you.”

I didn’t look up as I spoke, focusing on wrapping their ankle in a supportive bandage, but the moment I was done, their fingertips brushed my arm, drawing my gaze to their soft smile. “I love it,” they murmured reassuringly, thumb still caressing my bare skin. I found myself blushing once more, clearing my throat as I stood, rubbing the back of my neck uncertainly.

“You’ll be okay. It’s a pretty bad sprain, but nothing’s broken; I’d recommend not driving for a few days, though.”

The words came automatically, and it wasn’t until a heavy silence hung between us that I realised the implications, both of us freezing with our eyes locked on one another uncertainly, before opening our mouths in unison.

“I can call a cab if you-”

“I’m happy to drive you somewhere, if-”

We broke off simultaneously, each letting out a soft chuckle, and they gestured me on, indicating for me to speak first. “I’ll drive you wherever you want to go, if that- I mean, unless you… You’re welcome to stay here, of course - that is, if you’d like to. I built it for you, after all,” I added, grinning sheepishly.

They nodded and blushed, assessing their wrapped ankle intensely. “That sounds nice.” They paused, they let out a short, sharp laugh, startling me. “Man, is it always this awkward? This seems like a terrible way for these things to work! We’ve just met, and we know we’re destined to spend the rest of our lives together? How the hell do we get from A to B? It should come with an instruction manual – I don’t know, icebreaker questions or something, you know? This is a lot of pressure!” They laughed again, and I snorted, shaking my head fondly.

“Okay – icebreakers,” I nodded, hopping up on the counter beside them, humming thoughtfully. “Any other siblings?”

They smiled gratefully and shook their head. “Just the older sister – Alice. You?”

“The same. Rebecca.”

Another nod, and they glanced around, seemingly searching for inspiration. “What do you do for work?”

I glanced down as my shoulder ached pointedly, flexing my metal fingers. “I got a pretty impressive payout from the Army for this, and that paid for a lot of the cabin, but I guess… I mean, I sell some stuff. Enough to get by, I suppose.”

“What kind of stuff?” they pressed, head cocked, and I blushed lightly.

“Photos and paintings, mostly.”

Their eyes widened, and they looked around eagerly as I chuckled. “You’re an artist? That’s awesome! Do you have anything you can show me?”

Snorting, I gestured at the wooden staircase ascending from the lounge. “My studio is upstairs – I’ll give you a tour in a little while, after you’ve rested that foot some. So, what about you?” I added, leaning into the centre of the table to snag a couple of water bottles. They took theirs with a polite smile, taking a long drag before answering.

“I’m a dog trainer,” they replied eventually, their grin stretching a little wider as they spoke.

“You love it,” I noted, and they nodded, eyes alight with joy.

“I do. Dogs are way better than people; there’s always a reason, you know? They’re not malicious for the sake of it; if they’re nervous or reactive, there’s a motivation or a cause behind it, even if we don’t always understand what that is right away. I like trying to find it out.” They paused for a moment, then nodded, as if confirming their thoughts to be accurate.

I couldn’t help but smile at that – the eclectic blend of logic and emotion with which they offered their reasoning. “That’s a beautiful approach to it.”

Their cheeks coloured once more, uninjured leg swinging absently. “Hm…” Their face grew darker, and they lowered their eyes shyly. “… First kiss?”

I barked out a surprised laugh, eyebrow raising. “… Lucy. I was fifteen. You?”

“Marty. Fourteen.” They picked at their fingernails, unable to meet my gaze, lips parted as they prepared to speak once more, held back by their shyness. “… Virgin?”

My jaw opened with my shock this time, and I blinked silently at them for a moment, dumbfounded. Sex before Bonding – or even after – was rarely talked about, regardless of how prevalent it was; most people weren’t too bothered about waiting, and I knew that less than half of people hadn’t had sex before they met their soulmate. I knew Steve had lost his virginity in the Army, but other than that, I had no idea as to the pre-Bonded relations of my friends. The idea that I might one day be answering that question myself had never crossed my mind.

I scraped absently at the label on my water bottle, chewing on my lip. “… Yes. You?”

“No.” I looked up, and they shrugged. “Virginity is a societal construct – I only use it as a convenient shorthand to ask about your experiences. I’m not worth less because I wanted to experience pleasure. People who haven’t had sex before they get designated Lost quite often never do; I wasn’t risking that, and I had several years before I started having Touches. So… Yeah, I had a couple of short things. I wanted to know what it was like, just in case, you know?”

I shook my head quickly, hands upheld. “No judgement. I’d probably have done the same.”

Frowning, they cocked their head to one side. “Why didn’t you?” they probed gently, and I stiffened infinitesimally, looking away. “You don’t have to tell me, not if y-”

“I’m transgender,” I murmured, still fiddling with the plastic in my hands. “I didn’t- I was never… Comfortable. I kissed a friend once, when we were younger, but…” I shrugged, blushing minutely at the memory of Steve and I at sixteen, awkwardly bumping lips in an innocent experiment, before determining we were definitely not attracted to one another. It would have been easy, had my soulmate been him – platonic, but simple. I could have lived that way. And if I’d been attracted to him, I could have had the experiences that being Unbonded, and later Lost, would have denied me, if I never found someone else I trusted so implicitly. But the spark simply wasn’t there, and the only thing that I feared more than never knowing what it was like was ruining my friendship with the man I’d known my entire life by us pushing through a cripplingly awkward experience.

They nodded once, leaning against me lightly. “Yeah, that makes sense. It wasn’t the easiest thing in the world for me; no chance in hell of me taking my shirt off! But I don’t regret it; I called the shots, so I did what I could to make myself comfortable, backed out when I realised I wasn’t up for it…” They nodded again, hand finding mine to rub their thumb comfortingly against my own. “I’m sorry you never had anyone you could feel comfortable with like that.”

Smiling gratefully, I rested my head against theirs, soothed by the soft touch and their calming pressure against my side. “Well… I mean, I always hoped you were out there. I figured I’d get the experience one day, if it were true.”

They chuckled quietly as a blush crawled up my neck, turning their head to press their lips lightly against the curve of my throat. “I’d be honoured to show you the things I learned, Buck.”

A low whine escaped me, the heat in my face intensifying at the sound and earning a quiet cackle of amusement in response. “I- hm. That… That might be nice. I mean… I guess you- you’re universally chosen for me, and everything… I’ve never heard of soulmates being anything other than a perfect match, after all… I guess you- we… It…” I fumbled uselessly, and they smiled, squeezing my fingers softly.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to – now, or ever,” they soothed, and I felt my muscles relax, leaning back into them.

“I know. Thank you,” I murmured, squeezing back. “I… Would definitely like to see how it goes.” My face flamed at the admission, but they simply smiled, pressing another tender kiss to my exposed throat.

“Well… I’m here for the next few days – at least,” they added, chuckling under their breath. “And we have… Well, forever, I guess. There’s no rush.”

I blushed and nodded, looking down at the hand entwined with mine, sun-kissed beige and warm olive wrapped together closely, the glow where their skin touched mine casting reverent light over our grip. My eyes dropped to their head, and I couldn’t help but imagine tipping their chin up gently, lips finding theirs in a chaste, perfect moment. I felt myself cringe inwardly from embarrassment as their face reflected my thoughts, and they grinned, glancing up at me. “I’d ask what you’re thinking about, but…” They smiled a little wider, free hand raising to smooth a thumb over their lower lip thoughtfully. “… I remember the things you thought about when I wasn’t in front of you – and this embarrasses you?”

“I didn’t know there was definitely anyone listening then… And you weren’t, you know, right there,” I added, chuckling self-consciously.

They gazed at me for a moment before their eyes dropped to my mouth, lips parting. “… Can I… Can I kiss you?”

I blinked in surprise, stunned to a brief silence by their boldness. “I- Yes. Please.”

I swallowed nervously as their hand shifted to cup my jaw, smoothing the stubble-roughened skin gently. “I can’t believe how beautiful you are,” they murmured, smiling softly. I had no time to formulate a coherent reply before their lips skimmed mine, soft and warm and intoxicating. The feeling of their mouth moving against my own was far more intense than I ever imagined, and I found myself whining softly in pleasure, hands finding their hips to pull them closer needily, letting out a low groan when their teeth skimmed my lower lip.

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fantasised about this,” I breathed when we broke apart to reluctantly drag in lungfuls of air, and they smiled shyly, cheeks tinged dusky pink.

“Pretty sure I know exactly how often you’ve fantasised about it,” they purred teasingly, forehead resting against mine. “You woke me up more than once, thinking about me in the middle of the night.”

“I’m very sorry,” I chuckled insincerely, skimming my lips against theirs once more, unable to help myself.

“Don’t be,” they whispered, hand moving to tangle lightly in the air at the nape of my neck. “The amount of times I wake up just in time for me to- And, I- Sometimes during…” They trailed off at the half-formed admission, cheeks flaming and eyes dropping with embarrassment.

“That’s exactly what I was hoping,” I murmured, a soft, breathless undercurrent to my voice. With a resigned, surrendering sigh. I lifted them easily, depositing them on my lap with a knee either side of my hips as they squeaked in surprise. “The thought of you knowing I was thinking about you – that I couldn’t sleep because I wanted to touch you so badly – and making you moan, wherever you were out there…” I trailed off with a shiver of delight, my fingers tightening on their waist when they squirmed minutely. “It saw me through many a dark and lonely night, imagining what I’d do when I finally had you at my mercy.”

They grinned shyly, arms resting on my shoulders. “Well… I’m here,” they noted, glancing around pointedly before fixing their eyes on me once more. “So… I offer myself up to your mercy, Sergeant.”

The blood thrumming in my veins heated as they pressed themselves to my chest, and I groaned, my hands travelling down to their ass to lift them as I stood, my mouth finding theirs desperately. Fingers knotting in my hair, they crushed themselves against me, mewling needily against my mouth.

“Still wanna see the studio?” I breathed as I climbed the stairs, drawing back just far enough to offer them a teasing grin. They laughed aloud, legs tightening around my waist.

“After,” they murmured, mouth flirting my own once more.

“‘After’, huh?” I whispered playfully, their cheeks turning crimson in realisation, and I nudged open the bedroom door with a shoulder. They sprawled willingly when I gentle deposited them on the bed, arms stretched over their head to offer themselves to me. Rapturously, I trailed kisses up their throat, spurred on and taking direction from their soft gasps and moans of appreciation. My body pressed closer to theirs unconsciously, one hand tangling in their hair as I kissed them again, leg falling instinctively between theirs. They mewled and arched against my thigh, fingers clenched around my biceps as quivered, legs parting eagerly. The movement caused their own short-clad thigh to press against me, and I grunted in surprise, eyelids fluttering at the contact. With a hum of delight, they pressed harder, shifting minutely, gaze lighting up when I moaned softly.

“That’s cheating…” I murmured, blushing infinitesimally, returning my mouth to their skin and leaving a trail of light bruises over the glowing flesh of their throat.

“Hm?” they purred, still rolling a leg against me teasingly, a playful smirk tugging at their lips despite wide, innocent eyes.

“I’m new to this,” I offered with a weak whine, hands shifting to their hips to pull them closer despite my half-hearted complaints. “You already know all the tricks…”

“You’re better than you think you are,” they assured me softly, lips ghosting over mine. “You’ve rendered me speechless a hundred times from a thousand miles away… I’m sure you’ll be even better in person.”

With a faint blush and a slow, steadying breath, I nodded, moving in to kiss them once more. They sighed happily, eyes closing as their lips moved against mine.

They were right, of course. By their own admission, my late-night fantasies had brought them plenty of pleasure. But it was easy to be skilled in my own fantasies… Reality was a different matter.

Nervous though I was, however, there was no way I was letting my performance anxiety getting the way of something I’d wanted for years. One trembling, inexperienced hand inched under the edge of their shirt to brush a thumb over the soft skin of their hip, relishing in their subtle tremble of delight. The way they reacted to my touch spurred me on, and my fingertips worked under their waistband, smirking when they nodded eagerly at my clarifying glance. The fabric travelled easily over their thighs, and I dropped to my chest between their legs, fingers dancing over damp cotton. A quiet sound of need and pleasure radiated in their chest as I trailed my lips over the tender flesh of their inner thigh, thumb pressing against their wetness, earning a sharp gasp. Hands tangled in my hair, and I looked up, silently prompting.

“Please,” they whispered, eyes wide with desperate desire. “Oh God – please, James…” Groaning weakly, I tugged down the thin, black underwear, wetting my lower lip unconsciously at the sight before me.

Their legs fell wider apart as I shuffled closer, driven by an irrepressible need to explore slick folds offered to me so willingly. The instant my tongue grazed over their wetness, they let out a pitiful mewl, pulling me closer unconsciously and eliciting a ragged moan of delight from my parted lips as I buried myself eagerly between their thighs. Their back arched to press nearer to my enthusiastic tongue, intoxicated as I was by their sweetness, one of my hands moving to probe at their entrance as they squirmed in delight.

The feeling of their body stretching and clamping around me frantically had my hips shifting in a futile attempt to ease the ache between my own thighs. With a quiet, breathless chuckle, they tugged gently on my hair, drawing my gaze to theirs. “Good?” they breathed, eyes flicking pointedly to my needy writhing. I could only hum against them in response, refusing to ease my ministrations for even a moment to confirm my pleasure, hand and tongue shifting in unison as they shuddered and twitched. “God, that- that feels- Fuck, Bucky…”

With a soft groan of delight, I buried myself deeper between their eagerly parted thighs, relishing every tremble and moan as their fingers tightened in my hair. “Buck- Bucky, James, fuck, I can’t- I-I’m going to-”

Whimpering desperately, I rutted in vain against the sheets as they arched against me, body tightening and spasming around me, a frantic wail echoing around us as they came undone under my tongue.

I was quite unable to come to a halt, fingers still moving slowly inside them as my mouth needily chased every last ounce of their wetness, delirious with delight and pleasure. My own core was throbbing and dripping with desire - but I steadfastly continued my ministrations, reluctant to stop before I had to. Eventually, however, they tugged weakly at my hair, guiding me away from their trembling pussy with a soft whimper.

“H-holy… Fuck…” they breathed shaking, a minute wince flickering across their features as one leg stretched out along my side, bones groaning with the effort of movement. I rest my cheek on their thigh, panting as I gazed up at them with wonder and want, relishing the encompassing taste of them still overwhelming my senses.

“You taste like the stars,” I whispered rapturously, eyes fluttering shut for just a moment. “I can’t believe how fucking good you taste.”

They blushed minutes as I looked up once more, flushed pink with pleasure and joy. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

I swallowed dryly, mind whirring at the possibilities, and I froze with indecision. I’d been fantasising about this day for a long time, and I’d covered a hundred different scenarios, each one now flashing before my eyes in a rapid rotation of pleasurable experiences I now had the opportunity to fulfil. “I don’t know where to start,” I admitted softly, and they offered me a tender smile, fingers caressing my hair.

“C’mere,” they murmured, tugging gently to draw me up beside them, oppressing close to my chest, one arm around my neck as the other hand found my hip, dipping lightly under the edge of my shirt to caress my skin tenderly as their mouth found mine. I sighed into the kiss, my own fingers curling into their hair needily.

“I’ve had so many fantasies that I just… I have no idea where to begin,” I breathed, earning a small, coy smile, their now-bare thigh pressing between mine and eliciting a quiet whine and a shuddering jerk of my hips.

“There was this one fantasy,” they mused playfully, slowly kissing along my jaw. “You had it a lot… I could feel your legs around mine, and you were stretching me out so much…”

I gulped, feeling my body tense at the thought. I knew exactly what they were referring to – an act that divided all those who tried, and one I was frantic to attempt. A wide line of light appeared over their thigh, and I blushed as they grinned broadly. “You like that idea, hm?”

Nodding weakly, my fingers flexed with desire, tongue passing over my lower lip dryly. “I love it,” I admitted faintly, and they beamed, fingertips shifting to my fly as they met my eyes, seeking my consent, the sound of my ripper deafening in the tense silence when I nodded.

My heartbeat pounded in my ears as they shed my jeans with tender, patient movements, pressing adoring kisses to the scarred skin of my thighs as each inch was revealed. They didn’t ask, but I knew they understood, each gentle pass of their lips over laddered flash soothing a disquiet anxiety in my soul of which I hadn’t registered the presence.

By the time the material was dropped to the floor with a hushed, heavy thud, my muscles were loose, the ache between my legs more intense than ever as their heavy-lidded gaze met mine. Settling themselves beside me once more, their fingertips danced lightly over my abdomen to tug gently on the hem of my shirt. This time, I found myself only too eager help, shifting upright to pull the clothing over my head with only the barest of thoughts for the scarring at either chest or shoulder, lost in the feeling of their hands mapping my skin attentively.

“You’re so beautiful,” they breathed as I lay back beside them, pressing a gentle kiss to my chest when I blushed, hyperaware of the warmth of their hand resting on my abdomen. “Can I touch you, James?”

I swallowed and nodded, breath catching as their fingers slid under my waistband, passing over short hair to reach between my legs.

The air rushed from my lungs at the first brush of their fingertips against me, the surreal experience of someone else’s touch caressing my wetness eliciting a quiet whine of delight. Reassured, they pressed closer to my side, one leg draping over mine as they trailed their palm along me lightly. “Mm, Bucky…. You’re so-” They cut themselves off, pausing in their ministrations as they looked at me for clarification.

“Wet,” I finished with only the barest hint of a blush, nodding reassuringly and rutting against them. “Fuck- you make my pussy so goddamn soaked…”

They groaned softly, face burying in my throat to nuzzle and kiss the delicate skin they sound there, fingers mercifully resuming their gentle caresses along my slick folds. “So soaked, my beautiful boy… I just want to make you feel so good…”

With a quiet whine, I hooked a thumb into my boxers, pushing them down needily and earning an affectionate chuckle for my desperation. The second I lay nude before them and their hand found me again, I let my legs fall apart, offering my dripping core to them shamelessly. Their purr was pure joy as they stroked and probed, searching for each spot that made me twitch ang groan and mewl pitifully.

My back arched when their finger slid inside me, an exhilarated moan falling readily from my lips, hand tightening in the sheets as I frantically pressed closer. The knowledge that this person, chosen for me by the universe, could make my nerves sing so sweetly – that they’d be able to do so for the rest of our livers together – made my head spin. Emboldened, I licked my lips, leaning over to my bedside table to draw out a long, black length of silicone, the flush barely rising up the back of my neck as I clutched it tightly.

“This what you want, hm?” I purred, my free hand knotting in their hair to kiss them deeply, grinding against their palm. “Best of both worlds, huh – stretching out that gorgeous cunt while I rub my soaked, desperate pussy up against it?” They gasped and nodded, hips already shifting against my thigh once more, the feeling of their juices coating my skin making me only more eager for them. With a reluctant groan, I shifted away from their tender touch, hungrily pulling their legs apart to offer their soaked heat to me once more and earning a shiver of delight at the motion. The sight of them spread before me, offered and leaking, eyes blown wide with lust and skin shining with ghosts of my thoughts, gave me pause for a moment, enraptured by my good fortune.

I was shameless as I shifted between their knees, my own legs parting, relishing the way their gaze consumed every inch of my exposed flesh just as ravenously as mine did theirs; I could feel myself getting wetter at their eyes on me, and couldn’t help but let out a soft moan of utter bliss.

Their own wetness lit up as I thought about pressing myself against them, and they mewled quietly, shifting closer. “Please… Please, James, fuck, I’ve wanted this for so long, don’t make me wait anymore…”

With a trembling exhale, I shifted the dildo between us, watching with a heavy-lidded gaze as it slowly stretched out their dripping hole. They whimpered and gasped, back arching to force it deeper before their hand took over for mine, eyes moving to my own proffered entrance. The feeling of the toy pressing into me as they moved nearer was more intense than I could ever have imagined, a deafening groan leaving me as I rutted closer, frantically taking more of the thick length in an effort to find some merciful friction.

When their wetness brushed my own, my mind snapped, and almost feral kind of need overcoming me. My arm wrapped around their thigh to jerk them closer and pin them to me, my pussy squarely meeting theirs, our wetness mingling in a lewd cacophony that had my pleasure spiking even higher.

The way the moaned and moved against me, grinding with an urgency that even my wild fantasies couldn’t have predicted, quickly had the blood in my veins fizzing with my impeding release. My hands grasped at them in a futile attempt to hold them closer, fingernails carving rivulets into their flesh, whimpering with desperation as their eyes met mine, hand closing around my metal wrist to cling to me. “Please,” they gasped, somewhere between a cry and a groan, their gaze flat black as their movements against me became irregular.

“Give me everything, sweetheart,” I grunted, sweat beading along the nape of my neck, losing myself in the building tremble of their muscles and the soaked cunt rutting frantically against my own, clit grinding and nudging until their back arched as they wailed.

Their pussy clenched and quivered, jerking the toy inside me, tears rolling freely down my cheeks as they cursed and sobbed, fucking themselves desperately through their climax. The sensation of their wetness intensifying, flowing freely and mixing with mine as they spasmed, dragged me over the edge, and I pressed closer desperately as I groaned, nails breaking skin as I fought to bury myself deeper, to have as much of our bodies in contact as I could.

Their name fell from my lips as a cry of utter ecstasy, vision darkening around the edges as I rocked through my orgasm, hips finally slowing and easing up as Mars’ body fell still, limp and depleted and whimpering softly in pleasure. When I halted at last, they half-lifted their head to meet my faze, aftershocks sending gentle jerks through their body. “I… Oh God, that was…”

I laughed weakly, shivering with the fading adrenaline. “Yes… Yeah, it… Fuck, it really was.” My movements were slow and clumsy as I drew back, relishing in their shaky whimper as the toy left their quivering body and letting out my own soft groan of pleasure and delight at the mess leaking from their stretched hole. “Beautiful,” I breathed, wincing with sensitivity at the drag of the toy over my own overstimulated pussy, dropping it aside to collapse beside them and pull their spent body to my chest carefully. “You okay?” I murmured, trailing a fingertip softly over the delectable curve of their jaw.

They nodded and grinned shakily, releasing a soft sigh of contentment. “I didn’t know it could feel like that,” they admitted quietly, and I pressed a gentle kiss to their hair.

“I didn’t know I could feel like that,” I agreed, my eyes drifting shut of their own volition as Mars burrowed closer into my side, one leg hooking over mine to press themselves nearer. “Stay,” I breathed as my muscles grew sleep-heavy, and they half nodded against me.

“Yes,” they mumbled, fingers tightening a little against my skin. “Yes, please.”

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avonne-writes · 10 months ago

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Soulmate AU where soulmates share dreams and can find each other in the dream's landscape based on signs and feelings.

Bucky is used to sharing his dreams with Gale, so he doesn’t try to find him every night now. But when he sees the news about their losses in the Bremen mission, it hits him like an anvil dropped on his chest that he saw no sign of Gale at all during those few hours when he slept last night. Then he hears about Gale going down, and the grip of fear and dread squeezes ever harder around his heart. He forces himself to catch at least a few hours of sleep that night just to look for their connection, but he finds himself in a nightmare where everything that would usually point him to Gale's soul is torn up, destroyed or gone.

#mota #john egan #gale cleven #buck x bucky #soulmate au

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rqsser · 6 months ago

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"According to Greek Mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate beings, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves."

okay so! someone pls write this for clegan!

#masters of the air #i know that avonne has a soulmates au but i have not read it yet!!!#buck x bucky #mota #clegan #gale buck cleven #john bucky egan

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apples-in-snow · 6 months ago

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Guys, if I see another edit of how Bucky got over Buck after the stalag because he called him "Gale" instead of "Buck" (and that's his version of letting Buck go), I'm really gonna cry.

#what do you mean the soulmates don't end up together #your honor #you can't separate the Buckies #masters of the air #buck x bucky #in my mind they grow old together

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morriganravenclaw · 7 months ago

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"Oh how I adore you" . A letter written by John egan to gale cleven

Oh how I adore you . You with your bright golden hair and eyes as bright and blue as the sky . My sun , the light of my life , my soulmate , my everything .

I adore the way you laugh because your eyes crinkle around the corner. Or how when you pretend you hate my jokes but I can see you fighting down the smile .

I adore the way you take care of everyone. How you wish to help people with their problems and solve them so they don't have to. How you care so deeply for the people you call family that nothing would stop you from keeping them safe .

I fell in love you the moment I laid my eyes upon you . The shy boy who kept at himself and never reached out to others . I knew I had to go talk to you and befriend you .

I adore everything about you. Everyday I fall even more in love with you . My heart belongs to you and you alone for I know there's no safest place for it to be but in your hands .

In the darkest times of the war you were my saving grace, it was you I was fighting for . You were the reason I wanted to live .

And when the time comes that I will take my final breath , it will be your name that falls from my lips .

Your's truly,

John egan .

#buck x bucky #clegan #gale cleven #john egan #mota #my writing #john egan and buck cleven are soulmates #john loves gale so much #this is so soft #next one will be gales letter to john

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barrybclout · 10 months ago

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WHY ARE THE GIRLS FIGHTING

#mota #masters of the air #john egan #gale cleven #buck x bucky #buck cleven #bucky egan #my himbo bimbo is fighting his buff twink soulmate #why why why do you do this to me #girls girls calm down now #“wrestling”…is that what we’re calling it now #maybe they just need to expend some energy…?#theres other ways of doing that…iykwim

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buck-star · 2 months ago

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A love least expected | B.B

Bucky thought he found the love of his life in Steve, but little did he know that Steve going back in time would give him the opportunity to fall in love with someone who really loves Bucky.

Pairing: BestFriend!Bucky Barnes x BestFriend!Fem!Reader, past Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Boyfriend!Steve Rogers

Wordcount: 6.184 Words

Warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, Bucky being insecure, Steve being mean, taking less care of themselves (Bucky), best friends to lovers, bit of idiots in love/mutual pinning, reader reads letter Bucky wrote to Steve (he doesn’t mind), more fluff, so much fluff, love confession

Authors Note: Thank you to my loveliest best friend @thevillainswhore for helping me find the pictures, a title and for always listening to all the ideas I throw at you hehe. I love you so much!❤️❤️ Dividers made by me.

Events: Trick or treat | Bucky Barnes, trick and treat, soulmates, best friends to lovers | hosted by me | Stevie BB 200 Follower Writing Challenge | Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, soulmate AU/ bit of idiots in love/mutual pinning, “Are you fucking kidding me?” | @steviebbboi | Writing Challenge | Soulmates AU, 🥐 ༄ؘ “ I’ve tried to forbid myself from falling in love, but now I can’t help it.” | @elixirfromthestars

Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

The cold wind was blowing harshly, cutting into his skin. But the coldness outside was nothing compared to the one he felt inside him. His lips turned into a thin line, and the usual light blue eyes are now filled with pain and sorrow. His heart was broken, shattered in the tiniest pieces, and not even a sorry couldn’t fix what broke just a few minutes earlier.

The brown-haired man watched his boyfriend — ex-boyfriend — walking closer to the others. Time tracking, Bucky knew when he just heard that Steve would bring back the stones that he wouldn’t come back as the man he used to be.

The hug was too long, the gazes too intense, too hurtful. And Bucky knew it’s the last time he would hold his boyfriend — the next time he will hold him, it will only be his best friend. He couldn’t blame Steve; he didn’t want to. His heart was broken, but his feelings were still as strong as they used to be — as they always were, in the forties already.

While Bucky couldn’t imagine moving on without the man he thought would be the love of his life, he watched Steve move on without him. All the years, all what they went through meant not enough for Steve to be happy with him.

And once again, his mind ran wild. Was it Bucky who gave Steve a reason to move on? Maybe it was the winter soldier that made him less lovely for Steve. Maybe it was everything he did all those years. But why… why was Steve looking for him? He went to war for him and would even have walked to Austria for him. And now there was a man walking to the others; he did look like his Stevie, but he was so different.

Bucky wanted to call the other man’s name; he wanted to run after him and hold him. A few silent tears were rolling down his cheeks, his body shaking slightly, and he tried to hold back his sobs. With every step Steve was taking away from him, he felt his heart ripped out of his chest. There was nothing left.

The words Steve said earlier were still echoing through Bucky’s mind. ‘Don’t do anything stupid ‘til I get back.’ Until he gets back, but the way Bucky’s stomach dropped when he looked into the usual lovely blue eyes of his boyfriend, he could tell that things would be different when Steve would be back.

‘I’m gonna miss you, buddy.’ Bucky had to reply. He knew when Steve was lying, when Steve had something planned without saying it out loud. And this was one of these moments, where the slightly sad expression on the other man’s face gave away the truth. His lips curled up so softly that Bucky would have missed it; wouldn’t he have to find a little bit of hope for them in his boyfriend’s expression.

‘It’s gonna be okay, Buck.’ It was then and there the moment Bucky was sure that Steve wasn’t going to come back as the man he was going to leave. The man Bucky used to love will be back in the forties, being lost somewhere there; maybe he found true love while Bucky was in the war. Or maybe… maybe he would just go back to Buck and give them both a life they deserved without the pain the army and hydra caused.

But deep down Bucky knew the truth; he felt that Steve would change. Just the hope and the love made him believe that his boyfriend could come back to him and could be with him.

The further Steve walked away, the colder it got inside and around Bucky. He was shivering. The strong arms of the other man were still around him, at least the feeling of them. But with every inch of distance between both of the men, Bucky felt the warmth of the touch disappear, and he regretted even letting go of his boyfriend. But he had to; he had to let him go so at least Steve could be happy and live the life he wanted while he left Bucky with no more faith in love.

You were standing a bit away from them, watching your best friend literally break while he watched Steve. Your heart was aching, and you wanted nothing more than to wrap your arms around him and give him the comfort he needed, but you also didn’t want to embarrass him because he was crying and shaking from the pain he felt.

So, you decided to walk over to him and try to give him as much comfort as possible without jumping around his neck with a blanket to wrap him in it and keep him protected and warm.

“Hey, Buck,” you greeted him with a soft smile. His eyes were stuck on the other man, watching every muscle moving and the way his hips swung. You followed his eyes, your smile turning sad, and you couldn’t help but feel your heart shattering.

It’s not that you were in love with Steve; of course he was a good friend. But you know for Bucky he meant the world, that Bucky thought he found the love of and for his life in Steve. Still, he has to watch the person he used to love more than everything, leaving for a life Bucky couldn’t give to him.

You noticed the tears rolling down Bucky’s cheeks; his breath got heavier, and you could almost feel the way your best friend broke from the inside. The deep blue eyes were suddenly so empty; the smile that was always across his face was replaced by a thin line of his lips. The sweet scrunch of his nose that always got everyone’s attention was now replaced by the tears that were quietly falling down his cheeks.

“W-why…?” Bucky asked, his voice only a hoarse whimper. The self-doubts were crashing down on him like the heaviest building ever. Maybe he wasn’t enough; of course he wasn’t. Would he be ever enough for Steve, then he wouldn’t have decided to travel back to have a life with a woman — without Bucky. “Why doesn’t he love me?”

You swallowed thickly; there was no simple answer for that. You didn’t even know if Steve loved Bucky or not. With a soft sigh, you looked at Steve, then at Bucky, and took another step closer to him. “Sometimes… Sometimes love isn’t enough for someone to stay. But that’s not your fault; some people just can’t… they can’t appreciate what they get from another person. They think they can ‘do better’ even though they have everything they need. Sometimes it takes distance for one to notice that he was in the wrong.”

Bucky’s eyes lit up slightly. His eyes still on Steve as he placed the helmet on his head and stepped into the machine for time travel. “So, maybe he will come back to me… to us… to that here as the one he is now?”

The hope in Bucky's voice caused a cold shiver running down your spine. You really hoped for him that Steve would come back as the one he was. That he only needed to see that he loved Bucky and that he found everything in the man he could possibly find in someone.

But deep down, you actually knew that it’s not true. Steve wouldn’t be the one he used to be. But you weren’t sure; you didn’t want to break Bucky’s heart further, but lying and letting him think that Steve would be his old self? You don’t want to do it either.

“I-I don’t know,” you mumbled and watched Steve. He disappeared. Next to you, you noticed something — or someone — was falling down to the ground. Your eyes widened, and your heart shattered as the scream left his parted lips.

Bucky kneeled next to you on the dirty, cold floor, his eyes red and watery while he pants. It was his scream; it was his pain. He had to let go the moment the love of his life disappeared to live another life. He stared down; his hands were grasping the dirt under his fingers, and tears were falling down his cheeks.

“No…no…no…no,” he panted, repeating the words over and over again. His breath was heavy, and his eyes were unfocused. And then he started to shake his head; his eyes were wandering from the ground up to where Steve was standing and back to the ground. “Please… come back. St-Steve, please.”

You watched Bucky for a moment, considering whether to kneel down or give him a moment for himself. Your eyes were wandering over his shaking form, and when he started to repeat Steve’s name and begged him to come back, you got down on your knees as well.

“Bucky? I know it hurts, but Steve isn’t coming back,” you mumbled. You’re not sure what to say, but trying to hide the truth wouldn’t help Bucky either. “Can you look at me?”

Bucky swallowed, turning his face toward you. His eyes were red and puffy, his lips formed into a pout, and he stared at you with the most hurt expression you have ever seen on his face. He nodded, waiting for you to continue.

“It’s okay, you’re gonna be fine,” you said in a soft voice. You brought your hand to his soft, brown locks. Bucky relaxed slightly, the pain still visible, but at least he had someone who was there for him. You curled his hair around your fingers, stroking his neck softly. “Everything is going to be fine; you’re not alone. I know it feels like that; it feels like Steve took everything with him, but he didn’t. We’re still here for you, and you’re loved.”

Bucky nodded, leaning his head against your shoulder. His arms automatically wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer toward him. The brown-haired man’s fingers were digging into your skin, holding onto you to make sure you’re staying as close as possible to him.

“You stay?”

“I will stay. You’re my best friend; I love you, and I will give you all the hugs and cuddles you need, Buck.”

The days and the weeks felt so much longer and so empty without Steve. Bucky didn’t sleep much at all; he refused to eat and cared about anything but his letters. Since Steve left, he wrote a letter every day, putting all his feelings, all his pain, and all his love into them. Even though he refused to go out, he didn’t mind when you came over and gave him some company.

You sighed when you opened the door to Bucky’s apartment. The air was thick and stinging; you closed the door and walked further into the apartment. You got used to Bucky’s behavior, his less care for everything, but you wished you could help him.

“Buck? I brought some food,” you said as you looked through the door of his living room. His eyes were shooting up at you. He nodded with a slightly sad smile and held out his hands, curious what you got for him. “How are you feeling today?”

He shrugged, taking the bag and looking into it. “‘M not sure. Empty… cold?” Bucky’s voice was quiet, but he smiled softly when he noticed something you got for him. He took it and held it out of the bag, showing it to you. “I love these, my favorite chocolate.”

You watched him for a while before you walked through the room to open the windows and let some fresh air in. Even though Bucky tried to convince you to not clean, you always did it when you were there. Most of the time he even helped you, finding it easier to clean when he didn’t have to do it all by himself.

“When did you shower last time?” Bucky looked up, his face heating up as he turned his face away again. You sighed, knowing it was at least a week ago that he had a shower. “How about you get one yet?”

Bucky shook his head; fear was visible in his blue orbs. You furrowed, walking closer to him. He didn’t look at you, too ashamed to do so. Bucky’s breath hitched as you kneeled down in front of him and rested your arms on his thick thighs.

“Why not?” Your voice was sweet as honey. You knew it was the best way to talk to Bucky without making him more ashamed or making him feel worse.

“Becuase…” Bucky swallowed thickly. “What if I come back here and you’re gone?”

Your eyes widened, and your heart was beating faster. After Steve left, Bucky got more and more separation anxiety, but you didn’t know it would be that bad. That it would cause him to refuse letting you out of your view when you’re there — which you are around every day or at least every other day.

“I’m not going anywhere else,” you mumbled, drawing small circles on his thick. Bucky nodded, his eyes watering as he looked at you. His big hands moved almost automatically to yours; he placed them on top of yours and held them tight.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Bucky nodded at your assurance. He still refused to let go of your hands and move an inch, but he knew he had to take a shower at least. He didn’t even know why he still felt so low. Steve hurt him; he broke him, but he found something that’s worth living again. But whatever he tried, the thought of losing it made him curl into a little ball and feel the depression coming over him again.

“But… you stay here?” Bucky asked once again. You nodded, smiling at him before getting up to sit down next to him and giving him the room to get up. He sighed, his hands shaking, but he finally moved and got up to walk to the bathroom.

His eyes were darting between you and the bathroom, making sure you were still sitting on the couch. Your heart broke slightly about the insecure and broken man who used to be so happy and proud of himself. Someone who was never insecure about himself.

When he finally got into the shower, you started to clean his apartment. Starting with the trash that was placed all over the floor and surfaces. You then changed the sheets on his bed and opened the windows there as well until you reached the big pile of dirty clothes.

With a chuckle, you picked it up and ordered it to put it into the washing machine. You noticed a bunch of letters between some other stuff on the table; you listened to the sound of the running shower before taking them.

It wasn’t your best move, you know that, but you were curious who he was writing a letter — or a bunch of letters. You opened the first one; the first one made your breath hitch.

For Steve.

Your eyes widened, then they moved to the date on it; it was written one day after Steve left. You couldn’t stop the curiosity from boiling over and made you continue reading what Bucky wrote.

I miss you. I miss you more than I thought one could miss someone else. Are you coming back? Please don’t go away; don’t leave me.

You noticed the few patches of tears in the paper; your heart was clenching while you continued to read further through the letter. Bucky told Steve everything about the day he left — that he broke down, that you comforted him, that he couldn’t sleep, and that everything felt so hard. Bucky’s heart was broken, and he put it down in the form of words; even though Steve isn’t reading it, he could at least get it out of him.

Don’t leave me alone in this new world. It’s more than I can handle; it’s so new, so different from the forties. Please don’t leave me alone in this new and modern world.

Your eyes watered at the desperation Bucky probably feels every day. Even though you knew that things changed since the forties, you hoped that it wouldn’t feel that bad for Bucky. Reading those words made your heart clench in your chest, causing you to shiver.

I love you.

Bucky.

Putting the letter away, you took another one, curious what Bucky wrote later. It wasn’t just a letter from a day later; it was one around a month later. You opened it and stared at the first words Bucky wrote.

Hi Steve,

it still feels different without you. I still feel that something about me is missing. It hurts to think about you, and sometimes I still even hear your voice.

You stared at the words; it was different. Bucky wasn’t as desperate as he was before anymore. It still pained you to know that Bucky was suffering so much because of the man he thought he would love. But on the other side, you knew that Bucky felt better now, at least a bit.

I feel less empty; it’s less cold. But I am still mad at you. I hope you’re being happy, but it makes me insane to know that I couldn’t be the one who makes you happy.

I’m mad that you left me alone in the modern world by myself. That you went back in time, that you looked like you didn’t care about me.

Your eyes were roaming over Bucky’s words. His thoughts were all written down on a piece of paper — his anger, his hurt, but also that he loved Steve. You continued to read this letter before you took another one, the one he wrote last night.

You listened closely, the shower still running, so you inhaled deeply once more and opened that letter as well.

Curiosity was stuck to every fiber in your body; you weren’t sure if you should read it. You shouldn’t have started to read them at all because they were private. But on the other side, it was also important to see how Bucky was doing; those letters said so much more than he did. He didn’t like talking too much about his feelings, especially not about Steve. So you were letting your eyes wander over the words of the letter.

I found that girl; she’s beautiful and sweet. I never thought I could look at someone and feel that way ever again, but she made me see the world in a positive way. Her eyes shine like the sun, and her laugh is the most beautiful I have ever heard. She's the light in my nights and the one I can hold onto if I feel like I fall.

Your eyes widened as you read the words Bucky wrote down. There weren’t many people who were around Bucky; it was actually mostly Sam and you. So the only person he could mean was you, and a shiver ran down your spine when your stomach flipped.

Bucky may have fallen in love with you. It was a while back since Steve left him, and you knew about the way Bucky changed that he slowly got over Steve. Even though he was still sad about what Steve did, and even though Bucky didn’t get himself to take care, he also changed slightly into a bit more of a happy self.

I still don’t get my ass up; I don’t find motivation to clean and take care of things or even me. Except she’s around, then she helps me. You know her; she was the only person who helped me get up and who stood by my side when you left me in this modern world to live another life. And she never — not once — left my side since that. She is my strength; she is my everything.

You put the letter back on the table when you heard the door of the bathroom opening. Bucky walked with a towel around his waist into the living room; his expression was soft, and a soft smile played around his lips. You had seen him like that — without a shirt and damp hair — a few times before, but this time it made your knees buckle, and you were glad that you were still sitting on the couch.

Bucky walked closer to you, looking around as he noticed that you really cleaned for him. Then his eyes landed on the letters that were still on the table; one of them was open, and he gasped softly.

“Y-you know you don’t have to clean…” He said, his eyes still focused on the letter. Emotions overcame him: fear, happiness, panic, and love. “Did you read them?”

Bucky smiled softly as he saw your reaction. He knew exactly that you read them, and he even liked it. So he didn’t have to hide his feelings anymore, even though he was unsure what you feel, if you would feel the same or were going to be mad about it.

You nodded, watching him walk closer. Bucky took a short and a pair of boxers from the counter, pulling them on before he focused his attention back on you. His heart was racing, and his breath sped up slightly the longer he waited for an answer from you.

“A-Are you m-mad? I’ve tried to forbid myself from falling in love, but now I can’t help it,” he breathed out, sitting down next to you on the couch. One of his legs underneath the other while he watched you intensely. “I… we can just ignore it… I-I just… I know you could think I just fell in love because Steve left. But I guess I just needed to realize that Steve and I never worked the way I tried to see.”

Bucky often told you about his relationship with Steve. He loved the other man, but Steve was still stuck in the past. And even though he tried to hide it, Bucky always knew it. The brown-haired man loved Steve a whole lot, but the moment the other was turned into a big, muscular man — Bucky knew that Steve wouldn’t be as much in love with him any longer. He finally got the attention he always hoped to get; he finally didn’t have to feel insecure anymore. As much as Bucky tried, he could never help Steve with his insecurities as much as the serum then did.

“I know,” you mumbled, resting your hand on Bucky's thigh. You smiled softly at him, running your fingers over his knee. “I’ve seen the way you changed after Steve left. I still see it and also how you act around me. And I’m glad I read those letters, and I’m also glad that you fell in love with me.”

Bucky’s eyes widened, and he wasn’t sure if he heard right or if that was just the most amazing dream ever. His blue eyes were staring into yours, holding your gaze as he waited for you to laugh and tell him that you just made a joke. But the moment didn’t come; instead, you inch closer to him and had the most adorable smile on your face.

“Do you need me to spell it for you?” You chuckled and brought your hand to his cheek. You brushed your fingers over his soft stubbles. Bucky tilted his head, leaning more into your touch. “I. L. O. V. E. Y. O. U. I’m in love with you too.”

Bucky chuckled, his eyes still holding yours as you literally spelled ‘I love you’ for him. He inhaled deeply; it was shaky and slow, but the smile on his face only grew the more the words seeped into his mind.

“You really do? Like, in a way that if I asked you out, you would say yes? Like in a way that if I wanted to kiss you, you would let me?” He asked; he was almost stumbling over his own words. The thoughts were racing in his mind, and he couldn’t help but imagine your soft lips pressing delicately against yours.

“I really do. I would definitely say yes. And would you like to kiss me… if I would let you. How about you try and find out?”

Bucky grinned at you, leaning closer to you. “You know, you're my rock in every hard time. You’re the star that brightens up my day. You’re the sun that warms me. And even though I still have some trouble taking care of things and even myself. Never doubt my love; I may not be good at cleaning and all. But I know that I love you more than everything; you know that, don’t you?”

You chuckled and nodded. “I do know that you do. And I would never doubt your love, my clingy, precious boy,” you smirked at him, causing him to growl in amusement. “I do love you too.”

Without another word, Bucky leaned closer and pressed his lips softly against yours. His hands found their way around your waist, pulling you into his lap while he intertwined his fingers behind your back and held you close. Your hands moved almost automatically to his neck, pulling him closer until his nose brushed over your cheek.

Bucky growled into the kiss; his lips were moving softly and slowly against yours. It felt different, like every kiss or touch the two of you ever felt before — this one wasn’t just a kiss with someone you hoped to be with forever; this was a kiss that meant forever. It was the start of your journey together, the start of the most special thing you could have imagined.

“Buc-“ you interrupted yourself the moment you heard the voice of Steve coming from your shared living room. Bucky and you were happier than ever; you had a lot of dates, and after a while you even moved in with him. He was the sweetest man you have ever met, and he feels the happiness back inside of him. But now you had to listen to your boyfriend talking to his ex-boyfriend, to the man he used to love more than everything.

Your heart was beating faster, and you pressed yourself against the wall behind you, scared of what you were going to hear. Bucky loved you; the two of you had enough time and moments to fall deeply in love with you. But you never thought what would happen the moment Steve would walk back into his life because you never thought Steve would do that.

“I’m so sorry, Buck. I don’t know what came over me or what made me do that. I should have never left; I don’t… I just don’t know,” Steve mumbled and ran his fingers through his hair. The hair Bucky used to love running his fingers through and playing with the strands of Steve’s hair.

Bucky shook his head. He inhaled deeply before looking straight into his ex-boyfriend's blue orbs. “I accept your apology.”

Your heart dropped when you heard that; a shaky breath left your lips, and you had to fight the tears that threatened to break free. This couldn’t be possible; Bucky couldn’t leave you, could he? You tried to stay as calm as possible, listening carefully to the conversation before freaking out or breaking down.

“So you come back? You let me come back? I missed you; it was all a big mistake. I never cheated on you; I just needed to see that you’re the one for me, I guess. Bucky, please give us another chance. I will be better this time,” Steve said, his voice pleasing, and you knew without having to look at him how he looked at Bucky. You wouldn’t blame Bucky for going back to Steve, even though it would break your heart. If it was Bucky’s wish to go back to Steve, he would never dare to be between them and stop Bucky from being happy.

“Guess you didn’t cheat, but you’re still a traitor,” Bucky said, his voice calm and shaking. He shook his head as he looked at Steve, who had tears in his eyes. “I wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you.”

Steve’s jaw dropped as he heard the words leaving his ex-lovers lips. “Buck… you-you can’t be serious. I love you; I always loved you.”

You noticed the shaking in Steve’s voice, and you felt almost pity — wouldn't he have been the reason for Bucky being down and broken after he left. You heard Bucky shuffling; he was probably grasping his hair like he always did and turned around. Bucky inhaled deeply before turning back to Steve. “Did you love me when she was sleeping in the bed we made? Don’t you dare forget about the way you betrayed me. ‘Cause I know that you will never feel sorry for sleeping in the bed with her, for kissing her, for looking at her like you used to look at me,” Bucky breathed out.

“I-I didn’t..” Steve gets interrupted by Bucky shaking his head. He didn’t want to hear more; he didn’t want anyone to destroy his happiness ever again — not even his ex-boyfriend. “Please, Bucky, I need you.”

“I’m sorry,” the brown-haired mumbled. He wasn’t sure to tell Steve about you, to tell him about the love he found and the happiness he feels again. “I can't, and I honestly don't want to. You broke me and.. I—“

“You what?” Steve asked in a dominant and angry tone. His eyes widened when he thought about a possible reason Bucky couldn’t go back to him. “No. Don’t tell me you… Bucky, no.”

You took a few steps back before you walked with a few louder steps to let them know that you approached the room. Steve and Bucky looked at you. Steve’s eyes were widened with shock and disbelief, while Bucky looked at you with a soft smile and brightened eyes at you.

“Babydoll,” Bucky smirked and held his arms open for you to walk closer to him. Your eyes drifted to Steve for a moment before you let Bucky wrap his arms tightly around you. He pressed his lips softly against your forehead, waiting for you to wrap your arms around his waist — which you did. “How was the meeting? Everything fine, or do you need anything?”

You smiled softly against his chest. Bucky was always so sweet and caring when it came to you. He always made sure that you had everything you needed and that you got whatever you wanted or needed. Seeing your smile and the love you gave to him made his heart swell, and he just couldn’t help but feel in love with you every time.

“Everything is fine. Just wanted to get a glass of water and ask if you have any idea for dinner today,” you mumbled before pulling back softly and looking at Steve. His eyes were narrow, and he watched the two of you intensely. Steve swallowed thickly when he saw the way Bucky hugged you, the way he kissed your forehead, and how sweet and loving he was around you. “Hey, Steve.”

He nodded, watching you walk toward the kitchen. His eyes were glued to you. Bucky cleared his throat, getting Steve’s attention. The smile on Bucky’s face turned into a like again when he looked back at Steve, who shook his head slightly.

“Are you fu— kidding me? How much do you pay her that you made me suffer like that? Do you want me to get on my knees to beg you to take me back?” Steve asked, determined to get an answer that would make it possible for Steve to get his ex-boyfriend back.

“I’m not doing it to make you suffer. I love her, and she loves me. When you left, I went home, I sat in the corner of the room, and everything reminded me of you,” Bucky said before taking a deep breath.

He didn’t like to hurt Steve like that; he didn’t want to hurt him, but he wasn’t in love with him anymore. Bucky found you; he found his babydoll, someone who would never leave him — for no one else.

“I thought about what could make you go back in time, and then I noticed. Peggy, the way you looked at her in the bar. She was the first woman who gave you attention. It didn’t matter that I loved you more than everything because you got the attention of a woman — a handsome and nice woman,” the brown-haired man’s eyes roamed over Steve’s face, noting the ways his lips twitched. Bucky knew he was right; he knew that Steve loved the attention he got from Peggy; no woman had ever looked at him like that before.

“That’s not… I mean, yes, but that’s not true. I do like the attention I got from her, but that doesn’t mean that I love you less. I do love you the same.” Steve growled; he was annoyed. Not about Bucky but about himself. Maybe a bit about you too, but the most he was annoyed and mad at himself. “You can’t just date someone else. You still love me, don’t you?”

“No. I saw you disappearing; did you hear my scream? She saw it; she fucking heard it. Did you ever think about me before or while you did it? I wrote a letter for you. Every single day. And the only thing I thought about was you being happier,” Bucky mumbled, staring directly into Steve’s eyes.

The other man swallowed thickly. The hurt in Bucky’s expression when he told him about the day Steve left. Or the love in his expression when he looked at you. Or when he kissed you, Bucky was so soft and lovely that Steve wasn’t sure if it was all a game to make him suffer or if it was true. But with every following word, he knew that Bucky fell in love with you and that he really loved you.

“My friends told me one day I'd feel it too. And I do; I finally do. I feel with her what it is to be loved — to know that she will never leave me like you did. I could have tried to smile and hide the truth when you left. When I thought I was happier with you, she would have seen because she always knows how I feel, how I really feel.”

“Bucky, you can’t be serious; you just can’t.” Steve breathed out, the realization that the brown-haired man is now happier with you hitting him. So he added in a softer and quieter tone. “But yes… you look happier, you do.”

The brown-haired man nodded, smiling softly. He felt sorry for Steve, but it was his decision to leave; it was his decision to go back in time to live another life. Bucky looked over to the kitchen where you’re standing with your glass; you watched them. When your eyes locked, you smiled softly, and Bucky couldn’t help but feel his heart beating even faster for you.

Bucky turned back to Steve before he smiled at him as well — it was less happy and not reaching his eyes but assuring. “I knew one day you’d fall for someone new. But that’s okay, cause I found someone who made me feel loved like you never could make me feel.” Bucky said, his eyes wandering from Steve to you and back to Steve.

The other man huffed; he thought Bucky would wait for him to let him come back so they could be happy together. “I hope she’s making you happy. But if she breaks your heart like lovers do, just know that I’ll be waiting for you.”

Bucky’s body tensed at those words. He knew that Steve was hurt and wanted to hurt him as well, but he also knew that he’s happier with you now. He found the love he never thought existed; you would never leave him, and you love him with every fiber of you. With all the words and gestures, the love and affection you give him, you show him that you mean it, that Bucky means everything to you — just like you mean everything to him.

“She isn’t a lover of mine. She is the other half of me. She’s my babydoll; she would never do anything that hurts me,” Bucky mumbled before leading Steve out of the house. Then he returned to you, his strong arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you tightly against his broad chest.

“Thank you; without you, I would have never felt that love, and I would never have been able to be strong enough to say no to someone who betrayed me. My babydoll, mine, all mine.” Bucky pressed his lips against your neck, then your cheek, until he pulled you into a soft kiss. A kiss that said more than words could ever express — love and affection for eternity.

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