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magicwithineleteo · 1 year ago

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things i wish you said by sabrina carpenter & i’m sorry by joshua bassett give me rina’s individual perspectives had gina moved away (the 3 times she almost did) .

like ricky being regretful of never stopping her when she left after hsm in season 1, or if he WAS too late at her press conference in season 4 and never got to tell her that he loves her.

and gina being heartbroken about ricky never saying that he had feelings for her too after she moved in s1 or if she was heartbroken if ricky had never said i love you to her and she went to new zealand.

idk just those 2 songs give me rina angst but their individual povs about their pining pain. ricky (i’m sorry) being regretful of never telling gina how he feels & gina (tiwys) being devastated of what she thinks is one-sided love.

she didn’t know (s1-3) that ricky felt the same all along, or rather, was getting there. he himself didn’t even know until it was too late.

i’m gonna break down the lyrics for both songs for ricky and gina, the red is for gina moving in s1 and the blue is for gina going to nz in s4. purple is for both situations . some lyrics will have both red, blue, and purple, or just one. i may just not include a lyric or two if they don't apply so

so the canon compliant/au would be:

“i wouldn’t quit on us” scene and gina leaves forever, instead of staying w ashlyn

ricky being too late. gina ends up going to new zealand and they end up breaking up (how and why? idk. the point is is that she left before he could say that he loves her)

first we’ll dive into ricky's perspectives (i’m sorry). gina’s will be in another post

(btw this is not me shipping josh and sabrina or any way or speculating that these songs are about one another. this is just me appreciating the parallels from songs from 2 of my favorite artists)

i thought about what i would say but i’m two years too late

ricky let gina go. he just let her hug him. he let gina confess that she likes him, and he let her go. he’s too late. now she’s gone, and she’s never coming back. gina didn’t return his texts after she moved. (in the show and probably in this au) he’s too late. she’s gone. and he didn’t stop her when he got the chance. he didn’t realize how he felt with gina. if only he could go back in time.

ricky was too late. maybe a few seconds. minutes. hours. days. weeks. months. now, 2 years. gina went to new zealand and she’s a star. the epitome of a star. she’s achieving her dreams. but he never got to tell her that he loves her. he had it all prepared. the speech he practiced countless times, that kept getting pushed back. he ran for his life in those hallways, knowing that he needed to do this before she leaves. he came to an abrupt stop, after yelling if he’s too late. he was. he stopped to see the limo driving away. he dropped the electric guitar in shock. he didn’t get to say i love you.

he raced to the airport in his little orange buggy, where she changed his life. she’s seemed to change his life countless times, one of them being here. homecoming. he probably broke every driving law there ever was to get to the airport.

but he was too late. she wasn’t there. she was gone.

i can't imagine how you're doing these days

gina doesn’t respond anymore. she stopped as soon as she left. gone like she never came. the air felt hollow without gina porter. school felt longer. rehearsal wasn’t fun anymore. he lost someone who he took for granted, who he should’ve told how he feels. he still follows her on instagram and tiktok, still comments on her posts. she’s still as incredible as ever. but he doesn’t know how she’s doing anymore. they used to tell each other certain things, that no one else knew. he’s not that for her anymore.

ricky keeps up with gina constantly. it’s hard to forget about the love of your life. he follows her every social media, but can’t bring himself to text her. he sends the occasional “hey i’m so proud of you” and congrats, but he can’t bring himself to actually text her. how can you just text the love of your life? she doesn’t even know that you think of her that way. you can’t just say it over texts. or over a phone call. and he doesn’t have enough money to fly to new zealand himself to play her love you forever. and her career is set. new zealand for romeo and juliet was just the beginning. he knows gina is never coming back. once the world saw her, the star she is, he’d lost her. she deserves the world and its love, he can’t hold her back from that. he needs to let her go and let her do her thing. he had to push down everything he felt, the feeling of needing to fight for her. he needed to let her shine. but he really missed her. and selfishly, he wanted her to stay. but he knew she couldn’t not take this opportunity. he needs to be supportive, even if that means she won’t be in his life anymore.

sure, it wasn't perfect back then i’ll be first to admit but it was better than being strangers again

ricky never saw gina coming. in the beginning of the year, he was set on figuring things out with nini. but after a conversation with a random beautiful stranger in the stairwell, everything changed for him. and their road was somewhat rocky. they both had this understanding of each other, that he’d never found anywhere else. well, he did come for her on homecoming, for some reason. he realized that bothered him so much, because he thought gina was smarter (and deserved better) than ej. he thought she wouldn’t do him like that. he doesn’t completely know why he acted the way he did. but atleast she spoke to him. atleast, whenever things were hard, they spoke. now, it’s complete silence as gina tries to move on from ricky and ricky comprehends his feelings.

ricky had much different expectations for his senior year. he thought he would be happy, gina is his GIRLFRIEND :) and yes that did happen, but the twists and turns of his year, the secret dating, mack alana, hsm3, hsm4. all of it. he didn’t see that coming. but him and gina made it out. they were both struggling, but he knew they both were each other’s priorities and would never abandon that. yeah, he was jealous of mack, yeah her mom didn’t like him, yeah he missed her. of course he did. yes he probably hurt her, but they got through everything. with gina in nz, her career skyrocketing, they barely got time to speak. even a quick text still gave ricky buzz. but it was never like how it was before.

i’m drunk too late talking to the moon, writing songs i can't sing to you

just for a moment. well that was technically for nini, but ever since big red put that thought into his head, that it was about gina, now that he thought about it, it really applied more to her. he wished he could sing his feelings to her. like he did with when there was me and you. he was just so excited because she was the only one to support his idea, and no one ever did that for him. he needs her.

3 words. love you forever. he never got to sing it to her. and now he regrets it every damn day. and he knows he told nini that he kicked himself everyday for not telling her he loves her too, but this is NOTHING compared to that. this was soul crushing. gut wrenching. as if someone snatched every piece of happiness he had. he didn’t get to tell her that he loves her, and he'll probably never get that chance ever again.

ever since that day, the things i didn't say, they haunt me

he let her walk away. he didn't stop her. he let her leave his life. he didn't even try to stop her. was he in denial? was he distracted? did he not realize, that the significance he thought nini had in his life, actually belonged to gina? he didn't fight for her to stay. even if she couldn't stay, atleast he could say that he put up a fight. but he didn't, because he took her for granted, and realized how he felt too late. he wishes he could go back in time and just do something to let gina know that he really liked her.

he didn't get to say i love you. he's so sure of how he feels, he knows gina is his forever. but he never got to tell her, and probably won't ever get to, because gina is a star and is living her dream. who is he to come in the way of that?

and i know that i'm to blame, so go ahead and blame it on me

gina blatantly told him how she felt. she wouldn't quit on them if she wasn't moving away. he didn't respond. he didn't verbally reciprocate. now he's paying the consequences, looking for gina everywhere he goes, only to realize that she was nowhere to be seen. he'd lost her. he let her slip through his fingers.

gina did nothing wrong. she followed her dream. he was too late.

i know that i'm too late, but i'll say it anyway, i'm sorry. though it's far too late

[ricky] gina, i'm so sorry. for not realizing how i felt. for not telling you that i felt it too. for letting you go easily. it may not be of any purpose, but you deserve an apology. i'm sorry. i would do anything to turn back time and fix everything. somehow beg your mom to let you live with me, if you have to. and that may be selfish of me, but i just can't let you go. ever.

[ricky] i love you, gina. full stop. i never got to tell you that. the speech i prepared, spent hours rehearsing and perfecting, the song that i wrote, anxiously waiting for the right moment to tell you. but that moment never came, because i was too late. i'm so sorry gina. i love you.

and it was me, it wasn't you it's cliché, but it's true i wasn't thinking how i usually do

[ricky] gina did nothing wrong. she feels so deeply and bravely. she's fearless, so strong, so amazing. she did nothing. it was all me.

and is your momma doing well? or does she hate me still?

terri porter never liked ricky. he learned from gina that she wasn't supportive of her dating, let alone ricky. he knew she thought he was unreliable (not the first time he's heard that) and didn't have a stable future to support gina with. she was the one who told ricky about nz, and while she said sorry, she didn't look sorry. she was the one who was egging mack onto gina. ricky just hopes that now, she likes him more than she did before. but he has no way of knowing. maybe she's happy now that gina is away from him, alone with mack across the world, shooting a movie as one of the most well-known couples in history.

and if you ever hear this, i hope you know that i'm not proud of who i've been

ricky wasn't proud of the way he handled gina's departure. well, in a way. he knew he was never going to see her again, and she stopped returning his texts. he did his best to shut down the gina portion of his brain as what was the use? he was just going to be heartbroken that she's gone. might as well focus on himself now. and look! nini is interested in him again, and he's back to being who he always was. but then gina showed up. unexpectedly. and rocked his whole world in just one night. he wished he told gina how he'd felt. so desperately. but he had just told nini before that he loved her. maybe it was like a hail mary of somesort. anyway, he just...regrets everything.

and if i see you again, i hope you know that i wish you nothing but the best my biggest regret

will he ever see gina again? would she appear out of thin air, like she did in opening night? he’s not sure. he wished he’d realized how he felt earlier. maybe they would’ve still been as close as they were.

ricky knew that him and gina were forever, but he also knew that she deserved the world and she was finally getting it. he’ll watch her with a smile on his face, endlessly proud of her. even though he’ll always regret he didn’t tell her that he loves her. he was certain that she’s his soulmate, especially after he found out that she auditioned for hsm because of him last year. he’s certain that she’s his forever, but knows he needs to let her be the star she is.

ricky will probably never get over gina porter. he regrets what he never said everyday. he hopes he’ll get a chance to tell her one day. he’s sorry. he loves her.

well now i’m very sad. i’ll make another post w gina’s pov soon :)

#hsmtmts #rina #hsmtmts rina #ricky x gina #ricky bowen #gina porter #analysis? kinda idk

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sky-squido · 2 years ago

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A/J for to isolate? (very excited for the finale btw)

A: How did you come up with the title to To Isolate?

okay so when i originally reblogged the fanfic ask meme, these are the tags i almost added and then didn't:

i did end up asking her anyway and she told me but i've already forgotten again, so there must not be a particularly interesting story behind it. i think we just played around with a couple of things and that was what we liked best. i mean, we had no idea it would get so huge, so we didn't put a ton of thought into it, and it's a perfectly serviceable and not-inaccurate title. yeah, there's not much more to it than that, i don't think

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to To Isolate.

HA!! NOW THAT TO ISOLATE IS ACTUALLY DONE I CAN MEME ON THE FINALE! i actually have TONS of silly ideas for post-fic funtimes because it has a happy ending and everything and i just really love the continuity it sets up. there's a strong chance i'll end up writing some of them out and putting them in their own fic that i group into a series with to isolate itself. i'll bullet some of my favorites below the cut for spoiler-proofing.

but those are less alternate endings and more extensions/deleted scenes/post-credits-scenes. most actual alternate ending possibilities for to isolate are pretty dark, but one of my favorite meme alternate ending ideas is one where Warriors keeps a journal in chapter one and for some reason?? Dink just Doesn't Notice so Wars wakes up on Day Four and goes "hey guys this is really weird" and everyone's like "YEAH that is pretty funky" and they all just talk about it. it would be funny to say that the whole plot just never happens, but that's not necessarily the case—dink still has his scheme, and i'm not fully sure what all the ramifications of them finding out this early on would be. he might just be like OH FRICK I FORGOT ABOUT THE BOOK and then wipes their memories and burns the journal. maybe that IS canon and sky just never knew~ oooooooooooooooh~ (it's not dw—if it were, wars woulda brought it up in ch. 10)

OH HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN! THERE IS AN ALTERNATE ENDING!!! POLTEA MADE ONE and it's beautiful y'all should check it out here

OKAY SILLY FUNTIMES POST-CANON NONSENSE IDEAS (SPOILER WARNING FOR LITERALLY THE ENTIRE FIC)

consider yourself warned

((lemme know which of these y'all are most interested in and if i ever get around to writing little these vignettes, i'll prioritize those))

four has been looking for the master sword for a while, Splitting for a time to cover more ground, and he hasn't found it anywhere. he's starting to plan out a long-term solution but also he's still looking. dot keeps telling him to stop, but he really wants to make extra super bonus sure he didn't just miss it by accident. as he's walking in the mountains, the sword drops out of the sky, bonks him on the head (with the hilt, but that's not much better than the blade cuz it's still Hot As Heck from ch. 7) and then tumbles down a cliff into the woods. he's simultaneously relieved and very annoyed, but he climbs down after it anyway to find it stabbed, perfectly vertically, into a pristine clearing, rays of golden sunlight spilling over it (wait where is that even coming from it's like midnight and also overcast) because the Master Sword is actually a Massive Diva and the laws of nature will bend to facilitate this

legend getting a loftwing!! he is a knight of skyloft, after all. i like the idea of his loftwing being really grumpy and kind of traumatized because it lost its rider, and no one's been able to even get close to it without getting bitten at, which is why it's up for grabs for someone of legend's age, but they understand each other really well and bond a lot, even if they can't "feel" each other like sky and his loftwing can, since they missed the critical period for that.

oh yeah it's canon that the wedding rings that sky and sun wear are gifts from legend—sky's got the green ring because a) green symbolizes courage in zelda and b) it's a balance of offensive and defensive boosts and mr. i-lost-the-use-of-my-sword-hand could use the help in both departments. zelda has the life ring L-2 which is pretty and heart-shaped but also regenerates health over time because sky and legend care about her lots and want her to stay safe <3

okay poltea and i high-key sidelined groose because neither of us can take him seriously because he's too much of a meme (even though i've played sksw twice now and agree wholeheartedly that endgame groose is a massive lad) and also like... he really wasn't relevant to the fic and there was honestly no point in fleshing him out or anything. however, this fun vignette would play with the HEY WHO'S THIS LEGEND GUY AND HOW'D HE STEAL MY BESTIE SO FAST?! element of the dynamic where sky's in a cheesy YA love triangle but of friendship sfdkgjhsldfgkjsdf. groose and legend would both slip slightly into their respective Jerk Modes to try and sus the other out, but then they'd bond and become bros and sky would bemoan the mistake he made in unleashing those two upon the world. they also fight over which of them will be sky's kid's favorite uncle <3 also legend's aroace in this fic because i said so so he just vibes with the lads. it's probably for the bet if he doesn't set up a bloodline in his own past anyway fdjhgfkgfjfd

OKAY SO REMEMBER THE LINE ABOUT PARADOXES AND CRAP and how sun kind of had a sense for them and would stop legend from causing any so he could safely inhabit the past? in this idea, like... the weirdest stuff sets off the Paradox Tinglies and Legend will be about to take a sip of juice and then sun bursts into the room and smacks it out of his hand and goes NO! and legend's just like O_O. he's honestly not sure if she's just screwing with him or not but he's too grateful to be here to question it

SKY AND SUN'S BABY AND LEGEND BEING A CHAOTIC UNCLE. i've never actively sought out fics in the vein of "we've just handed your favorite character an infant, what will they do now?" and i don't spend nearly enough time around children that small to be able to write any pre-school age particularly well, but just because it's these dorks specifically, i'm thinking about it <3

OKAY SO SKY AND LEGEND ARE THE FIRST IN THE TIMELINE NOW, RIGHT? get this—they make time capsules. they write letters to all the dudes, just for kicks, and they're kinda curious to see if any of them will actually reach their intended recipients, even if they'll probably never actually know until their spirits all meet up in the afterlife. not sure what they'll do about the timeline split and also convergence apparently though sfgljhsdgksdfh

hyrule just obliterating the ganon cult. like, we all know it happens, it's fully canon, but that doesn't mean i don't want to see it happen anyway. this is more likely to be art than fic, but i still wanna see it anyway because hyrule should be allowed to go feral more often i think

remember that bit where legend tells wars to not do too good of a job fixing space and time so they can all hang out again? yeah like five to ten years in, the portals all crack open again and the lads get to have like tea and biscuits and a nice chat or whatever. it would be purely crack and For The Memes because the boys all (largely) going back to their respective eras at the end was a Choice Made For Reasons, but also post-LU reunions are fun and this is a post-LU that i can really play around in because i actually know what it looks like and how we got there

okay that's most of them but there's definitely more kicking around my brain that i'm not thinking of right now. i just love the lads okay i gave them their happy ending and now i just wanna play around with it because it's fun :3

thank you for this ask and apologies for the Many Months delay, so i hope this answer manages to make its way to you! take care!!

#squido answers #to isolate spoilers

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 9 months ago

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ALEXIS MY ANGEL call me yan!gojo bc i would do ANYTHING for u ………

ALEXIS I LOVE YOUUUUU YOU’RE SO SWEET 😥😥😥😥😞😞😞😞😞 cried reading this UR APPROVAL MEANS SM i’m always chasing it to be clear but since this is ur concept i wanted to do it justice so bad 👉👈 I LOVED WRITING IT BUT I WAS NERVOUS PSHJDDJ so ur words mean the world to me!!! T_T are ur studies going well btw… are any profs giving u trouble……. asking for no particular reason………

have i ever told u that ur descriptions are beautiful. have i. i'm sure i have but i'll say it again. ur writing just makes me feel things i 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

now what if i kissed u silly 🤨🤨 ALEXIS I MELTED INTO A PUDDLE don’t do this to me ……. sniffle. u are so kind. thank u 😥😥😥😥 every time i read ur writing i am consumed by a primal need to eat it all in one bite so i can carry it w me wherever i go so i just feel so warm knowing u like mine too T_T we are holding hands in my brain always

I LOVE how u explain his thought process. the inklings of a yandere. a man that is willing to bend his morals and skirt the law because he just wants u to be happy. mwah. mwah mwah mwah. i love yan!gojo with my whole heart

I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW OVERJOYED I AM THAT THIS YAN!GOJO GETS YOUR APPROVAL that’s all i want!!!!!!!! i am in fact kicking my feet and giggling happily AND I’M SO GLAD U LIKED THE GOJO CHARACTERIZATION IN GENERAL i wanted to make him extra sickly sweet in this to get that yan contrast yk ….. he is soooo willing to bend his morals bc u are the Light of his life the center of it all!!!!!! he’s so smitten it’s crazy

not talking abt gojo but acc fuck this guy i'd be so pissed off 😭ALSO??? TEACHER!GOJO BYEEE i love canon teacher gojo ofc but making him good with kids and making him good with TODDLERS IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT THING... i just know he loves his students... i just know they cling onto his legs... i just know he yells at them when they go too high on the 5-foot rock wall bc he's a tiger parent around them... i just know he plays tag with them and pretends to get tired when he runs so they can tag him... i just know...

ALEXIS STOP STOP IT RN WHATTT ARE U DOING TO ME ,……… HE’S A TIGER PARENT HE’S A PAPA BEAR 😔😔😔😔 YOU’RE SOOOO RIGHT HE’S SO PROTECTIVE SO SWEET SO PLAYFUL ….. he sees all of them as his own kids LMAO i think he would be jealous of their parents . like wdym he can’t adopt them all… wdymmm they aren’t his….. he literally carried every single one of them for nine months </3 he would cry when they graduate i just KNOW it he’s so so sniffly and sad :(((( baby boy

get that professor OUTTA there and put me in his place tf 😭😭 why does such a horrible person get to be so up close nd personal with him ion get it 🙄🙄🙄0/10 fic if u really loved me it would've been me in his place /j

NOT THE JEALOUSY???????? 😭😭😭😭😭 okay ill keep that in mind for the knight!sugu fic pls know that any character that touches suguru is inspired by you and only you 🙏🙏🙏 all roads lead to alexis etc etc

IM GONNA HURLLL there's something so vulnerable about yan!gojo who knows what he's doing is wrong but it's all for the person he loves so it doesn't matter.. it's so tragic :( thank god this isn't an actual story bc it would not end well for him

THIS….. he’s soooo self aware maybe a lil plagued by guilt…. one line i considered putting in was (there’s nothing wrong with me. there’s nothing wrong with this.) from gojo’s pov but i figured that might be a bit too on the nose 😭😭 in my brain there’s this gap? that yan!gojo has… where he wants to protect u but also wants to be someone who deserves u. a good person. so he overcompensates for the yan tendencies in every single other area he can ….. yan!gojo core is killing a guy and then getting ur fave take out on his way back to make up for the blood on his hands <33

idk if this is intentional, but i love ur use of nicknames in this. all the classic "baby" and "honey" ones are used normally, but "angel" is only used once (other than the title!).. bc bc. guardian angels are supposed lead humans to salvation but if anything, reader unintentionally corrupted him past the point of no return, but in his eyes, the reader is an angel that he serves (an angel whose commands he follows, an angel who only represents good and light, so obviously what he's doing is justified)🙏i love it 🙏i also think it's the only nickname where he uses "my" in front of it and that just adds a whole other layer i just. wow.

ALEXIS??? U LITTLE GENIUS????? the angel motif was planned but i didn’t even realize i only made that petname possessive in tone… it’s canon now though ‼️ DISREGARD MY PREVIOUS STATEMENT ‼️ this was planned all along <333 BUT GRRRRR ALEXIS u are always so thoughtful and attentive it blows my mind!!! the angel motif ended up becoming such a central part of this fic pdhjdjd BUT U GET IT OFC U DO…. reader unintentionally corrupting him…. gojo viewing you as something almost other-worldly in how important u are… it’s like. you’re his guardian angel and he’s yours right back but in both cases it ends up twisted 😵‍💫😵‍💫

ok first of all these sentences are so beautifully written but i also love how he thinks about loving you. it's honestly 😭im kinda getting denji/makima vibes if denji/makima was a decent ship and makima was a good person yk 😭 AND I MEAN THAT WITH THE BEST OF COMPLIMENTS.. like the way the reader just controls him without even knowing, the way he would do anything (and literally everything) for the reader, etc. etc. reader's got the boy wrapped around their finger and they don't even realize i love it

SNIFFLE ALEXIS I AM HUGGING U GENTLY </3 im so glad u liked those lines they r the bread and butter of this fic tbh … BUT ALSO DENJI/MAKIMA????? ALEXIS????? I’M LOSING IT GRRRR HOW DID U KNOW I’M ILL ABT THEIR DYNAMIC…. 😞😞 no bc i can’t believe i didn’t think abt that… literally my fave example of the angel/dog dynamic….. it’s so perfect bc denji (my perfect little angel boy <33333 i kin him) isn’t malicious he’s just full of trauma and a yearning for love that he can’t satiate in a normal way :(( so he just clings to this goddess figure in his life… devoting everything to her….. it’s sooo yan!gojocore like truly you can do no wrong in his eyes. ”if my girl is wrong i will simply reshape reality so that she’s right” bf

all the orpheus/eurydice, heaven on earth, angel, the title imagery makes me want to gnaw on this fic until im left with the bones. like the reader isn't even human to him anymore. if anything, instead of guiding him to salvation, they are his salvation and i just mmm. mmmmmm. i need him

U GET IT U GET IT U GET IT U GET ITTTTTT reader is his salvation!!!!! so true!!!!!! you are all that is good!!!!!! and he’d do anything to keep ur light from dwindling out :(((( he makes me feel a little ill i’ll be honest THIS IS ALL UR FAULT ALEXIS my thoughts r filled with this silly little beast </3

ARIII IM GONNA CHOKE 😭what did reader do to him to make him this delusional i wonder.. it doesn't even matter bc this is so well written. the way he thinks he's protecting the reader, and in a small sense he is, but he keeps it a secret bc he not only KNOWS its wrong, but he also knows that the reader would be horrified/disgusted if they ever found out. and he's not as delusional to think that his actions will never come back to him either, but for reader, he'd do anything i just... i just....

alexis have i mentioned that i would do literally anything for u……. u just Get it so effortlessly i’m so happy this could get even a sliver of ur approval i am feasting on all ur words HE’S SO….. he’s soooo Sane he just doesn’t really care abt the consequences…. he’s a spider masquerading as a butterfly thinking he can trap all flies that touch you in his web but one day one of you will be tangled up in it and that’s just so :((( yan!gojo is so Doomed. he wants to be a good man so bad but he wants you to be happy even more. sniffle.

IM KISSING UR FOREHEAD AGGRESSIVELY + SPINNING U AROUND !!!!!!!! this made my whole year alexis u are so sweet to read this and to write this out it means sm to meeeee T~T AND TYSM FOR BRINGING YAN!GOJO INTO MY LIFE he made it worse <3333 i love him though. our deranged little bug boy. I LOVE U ALWAYS if u need me to threaten any prof at any given moment hmu <33

you’re an angel, i’m a dog ; satoru gojo

synopsis; an upcoming exam has been stressing you out, and satoru’s pleas for you to take care of yourself fall on deaf ears. he takes matters into his own hands.

word count; 4.3k

contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, yan!gojo, as far as yanderes go he’s very mild i think (im sensitive u can trust me!!), mentions of blood, implied murder (not depicted!!), he threatens your professor w a knife lol, surprisingly fluffy??, gojo is soooo lovesick & smitten, he just wants his baby to live a happy life :( is that so wrong :((, also your parents love him <33 and he calls you honey <333 ideal man.

a/n; i blacked out & when i woke up this was in my drafts… mysterious. @kissxcore here u go alexis <33 one very smitten morally gray yan!gojo just for u!! i completely lost the plot halfway through but i had a lot of fun writing this!! :33 i don’t dabble in yan content at all so it was a fun lil challenge hehe, i hope it ended up . Somewhat .. decent…

satoru thinks you deserve everything good.

”haah…”

— the sigh spills into the air, dripping with exhaustion, a palpable fatigue that has his heart clenching.

just as he feared, you’re here. again. seated on the couch, in the living room, legs crossed and framed by flimsy strings of moonlight; illuminated only by the dim light of the laptop in front of you. carding through your hair, blinking sluggishly.

another sigh. deep, exasperated — from satoru, this time. he keeps a single hand on his hip, brows furrowed in soft disappointment.

”honey… what do you think you’re doing?”

you jolt, the sudden sound breaking you out of whatever trance you were previously in. when your gaze flits to his, craning your head to see him rest against the wall leading up to your bedroom, he thinks you look a little like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

it makes him smile. despite his disapproval.

”ah — satoru! it’s… um.” a moment passes. he can practically see the gears of your mind turning, searching for a good excuse. ”… not what it looks like?”

he clicks his tongue. ”nice try.”

then he’s walking towards you, in long strides, gliding across the room like a butterfly in search of nectar. from the sweetest flower there ever was.

even when said flower is still awake, past midnight, pulling an all-nighter despite his frequent advice not to. his very frequent, very thoughtful advice not to strain yourself until you just about pass out.

but you just won’t listen.

”’m disappointed in you, baby,” he huffs, just playful enough to ward off any genuine feelings of distress. he could never truly be disappointed in his baby. ”what did we say about studying this late, hm?”

a sheepish chuckle slips past your lips. satoru is standing in front of you, hands on his hips, raising a questioning eyebrow as you squirm. lighthearted, yes, but genuine. it makes you feel a little guilty.

”… sorry,” you breathe, closing the lid of your laptop. knowing he won’t let you stay up any longer. with the loss of light, your face becomes shrouded in darkness. ”just can’t sleep when i’m so stressed.”

at that, satoru makes a tiny noise — something worried, a little sad, from the base of his throat. a soft frown finds its way onto his lips, and he blinks the sleep away from his senses. plopping down beside you.

”i know. i’m not trying to lecture you,” he croons, reaching out to cradle the apple of your cheek. you melt into him like molten honey, easy and sweet. ”just worried. know you’re stressed.”

and he does. he does know — it’s all he’s been able to think about, these past few weeks. to his dismay, he’s even begun to grow used to this sight, used to findist you in the midst of working yourself to exhaustion. fighting the urge to sleep, slumped over your desk, or cooped up on the couch. staring into your laptop like it holds the secrets of the universe.

time and time again, he’s told you to take care of yourself. tried to coax you into relaxing, rubbing your sore shoulders and kissing the puffy skin beneath your eyes. but this exam is important — you’ve told him as much, more times than he can count. he doesn’t doubt that you’re right.

of course you’d be stressed. he gets it.

still, though.

”but you know it’s not good, yeah? that it’ll just burn you out?” his thumb goes to smooth over the dark crescents beneath your eyes, gentle as a feather. ”we don’t want that, do we?”

you bite your lip. trapping it between your teeth. he knows you know. ”… yeah,” you admit, a flimsy little sigh on your tongue. ”it just feels easier to do this at night. don’t know why.”

”my little night owl.”

that makes you smile, a little, but it’s not enough to satisfy him. he curls an arm around your waist, and drags you into his lap; gentle, always gentle, like all that exists under your skin is made of porcelain. like the lines of your face form a string of words, a label of fragile: handle with care. he always does.

with his heartbeat by your ear, his warmth melting into yours, it’s easier to speak. a pressure on your chest that fades away. ”i’ll try not to do it again,” you murmur, biting back a soft yawn. nuzzling into his neck. ”promise. don’t wanna worry you…”

satoru softens.

(always so good to him.)

”it’s fine, honey. i understand.” he smiles, smoothing down your spine, counting the bumps of vertebra that slide along his palm. ”don’t worry that pretty little head of yours over me, alright?”

in return for his comfort, you wriggle away, lifting your head to give him a smile. one of your many smiles, each one fervently cherished by him; the one you’re wearing now is tired, a soft curl of your lips, the kind that makes him want to lull you to sleep. just the sight alone makes the anxiety in his veins feel like a worthy investment.

he doesn’t tell you anything that could cause that joy to diminish. doesn’t tell you that he can’t sleep without you, that he can barely breathe knowing you’re this stressed all time. doesn’t tell you that he jolted awake with a sinking feeling of dread, a gaping pit in his stomach when he didn’t immediately feel the warmth of your skin against his. doesn’t tell you that he always, always assumes the worst.

satoru doesn’t tell you these things. it’s a safety measure, an act of love. a bundle of unvoiced syllables, woven into white lies, silky and sweet. tailor-made to put your aching mind at ease.

satoru thinks you deserve everything good.

it’s a theory, of sorts, a train of thought. a hypothesis made manifest. after many years of pondering, he’s arrived at the following conclusion; you are all that’s good. therefore, it only follows that you deserve everything that’s good, all of it and more. satoru believes you deserve every single thing your little heart desires — and he’s determined to give it to you.

so he’s been worried.

it’s not that he doesn’t trust you. he knows you’ll ace the exam, knows you’ll do your very best, knows you’ll make him proud. you always do. you aren’t the problem, no, never.

he just doesn’t trust your professor.

that unfair, stuck-up, incompetent professor who’d fail his students just for being a couple minutes late, who curates his exams to be as convoluted as humanly possible. you and your friends are starting to suspect he just likes berating people for a living. satoru knows it all, he’s heard it all, of course he has. satoru pays attention to everything, when it comes to you. he knows all about your professor, the man who’s been making your studies pure hell for the past semester.

it makes his blood boil. steady, ruminating, hot and heavy in his veins. a rivulet of lava.

(it was only a matter of time.)

satoru is a teacher too; he knows that type. one that has no business being a teacher, in the first place, one no student deserves to be subjected to. he’s met more of them in his career than he could even begin to count. the thought of one of his own students being at the mercy of someone so incompetent makes his skin itch.

and the thought of you, seated on the couch, crying and sniffling when he comes home because none of the exam questions made enough sense for you to even try —

it makes satoru want to claw his skin off.

it makes that tiny, tiny cavern in his heart extend, widen, like a maw, swallowing up his liver and lungs and sense of morality. an emptiness begging to be filled.

there’s only one way to satiate it.

so he plants a wet kiss on your forehead, ruffles your hair, tucks you into bed and waits until you fall asleep. deep and heavy, a slumber you won’t wake up from anytime soon. he presses his lips to your forehead one more time — for good measure.

then he grabs his coat and slips outside.

the moon is visible through the window.

a thin crescent, nailed next to the dim stars, leaking a dream-like fluorescent shine; illuminating the office, so quiet he can hear those erratic breaths spill out, one by one. a heavy, heavy silence, thick enough to spread like butter over toast.

(ah, that’s right — he forgot to buy the butter you asked for this morning. no wonder he feels so out of sorts. he’ll have to grab it on his way back.)

”who… w — what are — ?”

satoru stays silent. lips pursed, eyes keen, burning into the back of the man in front of him. close, almost chest to back, enough to have him scowling in displeasure.

just being in his presence makes satoru feel a little sick.

he keeps the blade pressed right beneath his adam’s apple, a silver glimmer in an office painted blue and gray. not enough to sink into his skin, but enough to have his heartbeat hammering, enough that satoru can practically feel those rapid flutters of life. brushing against his gloved hand.

he gets straight to the point. voice muffled by the fabric covering his mouth, low enough that it’s barely even audible. he’s careful, about this kind of thing. there’s a delicacy to the ill intent, something he’d be a little enamored with if it weren’t for the compass stuffed into his ribs — the compass that tells him this is wrong.

he just can’t bring himself to care.

”the upcoming exam.” his voice sends a shiver down the man’s spine. satoru can feel it. ”don’t fail a single student.”

silence. pure silence, suffocating them, tangling itself into the air. satoru can practically taste it — fear, familiar, that pang of panic. a ticking time-bomb. the knife stays pressed against warm skin, pushing, sinking, just a little, a drop of red against his pale throat.

it’s enough to get your professor to make a little noise, one that vaguely resembles a whine. like that of a small animal, rolling over on its belly, eager to play dead. no word is spoken in reply, but he nods, just barely, a nervous tremble of his head.

satoru hums, approving. ”good.” he doesn’t loosen his grip. ”there’s a particular student i’m worried about. marked them down in the catalogue... i’m counting on you.”

another noise. a grunt of affirmation, a silent plea — satoru allows that fear to seep into his own bones, just a little, just to get a taste of it. cold on his tongue. he wonders if this is what helplessness feels like.

then he takes a step back. slow, tentative, dragging the knife with him. not before parting his lips once more. ”don’t turn around,” he warns. ”i’ll be back if there are any complications. this’ll be our little secret, hm?”

the man in front of him doesn’t say a thing. frozen in fear, paralyzed, not moving an inch. a fly trapped in his web. it’s a relief.

before he exits the room, satoru puts the final nail in the coffin. just in case. ”i happen to know what school your daughter goes to.” he waits for a flinch, and it comes almost instantly. like clockwork. “remember that.”

it’s an empty threat. your professor doesn’t know that, though. he doesn’t know that satoru knows his daughter, that he walks past her preschool almost every morning on his way to work. that she waves to him whenever he passes by, and that he makes it a point to always wave back. a little troublemaker; the rowdiest of utahime’s preschoolers. she has a bubbly laugh, and just lost one of her milk teeth. she was giddy when she showed him, a bout of giggles spilling from her lips as he cooed and ruffled her hair.

he wouldn’t lay a finger on her.

but your professor doesn’t know that, hasn’t got a single clue, and satoru delights in the fear that must be running through his veins. down his spine, crawling into every narrow of his skeleton, making a home for itself that he’ll never quite be able to root out.

a gulp. satoru hears it, in the quiet of nightfall, just before he shuts the door behind him. good.

the rest of the evening is a blur. satoru gets home, relieved to find you still asleep, and tucks you into his chest. makes a mental reminder to order your favorite take out tomorrow; a little reward for your hard work.

finally, he can sleep easy. knowing you’ll get what you deserve.

three weeks later, satoru places his hand on the familiar doorknob in front of him, dragging his weight behind him. blinking sluggishly.

there’s a sinking feeling in his chest, weighing him down — like an anchor tied to his liver. a compass, tucked between his fourth and fifth rib, one that’ll always stay lodged right there. he’s learned to grow used to it, a natural consequence, a sign that his humanity is still intact.

that doesn’t make it any less bothersome, though.

(ridding the world of a pest shouldn’t make him feel dirty. especially when he felt nothing but contempt for the pest in question, for the way he whistled as you walked by, the words he spewed before satoru met his eye. vile. putrid. why should he feel guilty for wiping a stain off the pavement?

it does make him feel dirty, though. a sinking feeling in his chest.)

there’s nothing to be done about it. satoru swallows the unpleasant taste on his tongue, and drags the door open, closing it behind him with a softness he reserves for you alone.

and there you are.

on the couch, farther away, already looking his way — lips instantly curling up into what he knows will be a smile. this time, it’s laced with excitement. one of his personal favorites. his gaze devours the joy in your features, the glimpse he gets of your teeth, that familiar crinkle of your eyes.

you’re smiling. at him. you smile and his world wakes up, it’s dyed in different shades of blue, it’s brimming with life and love and something too good not to kill for. you smile and everything is right, good, worth it. you smile and it's as if the blood has been washed off his hands.

suddenly, all is well again. satoru exhales a blissful little breath.

“‘m home, honey,” he grins, a light pink dusting his cheeks, hanging his coat up before turning to face you. arms wide open. “did you miss me?”

his heartbeat stutters when you practically engulf him, all giddy giggles and that perfect smile, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. “mhm,” is what you chirp, pressing kisses down his collarbone, and he has to bite down on his lip to stop the shivers trailing down his spine. he tastes iron, but laps it up with a coo. sickly-sweet.

“missed you too, precious,” he purrs. “sorry i was gone for so long — had to take care of something.”

he cups the back of your skull with his palm, large and crafted just to hold you, and marvels at how much you trust him. how you’re melting into his chest, fitting into every crevice of his heart. he wants to keep you there forever. forever and ever, always within reach, always close enough to touch.

but he also wants you to be happy. he wants to see you run away, wherever the wind takes you, if only so he’ll get to feel you jump into his arms again, when you’ve had your fill of the world. when you come home to him, where you both belong.

satoru would never cage you in. never, never, never. he wants you to enjoy your life — confining you wouldn’t do any good, would only stifle that pretty smile he loves so dearly. he wants your world to be large, brimming with life, blooming with fervor, wants the air to be clear enough for your beautiful lungs. he couldn’t build a world for you, here, in this apartment. no matter how big or luxurious.

so his only option is to bend the world into a kinder shape — twist and mold until it forms a path good enough for you to follow.

(it’s worth it, he knows, he’ll always know. it’s worth it to see that smile.)

“is that a new coat?” you ask, naive and innocent, and it breaks him out of his thoughts, attention wired to the lilt of your voice.

“yeah.” it’s stylish, expensive, a nice shade of black. he had to throw the last one away. this one’ll hide the stains better. “looks nice, right? i’ll get you the same one, pretty.”

“you don’t have to, toru!” you hurriedly exclaim, knowing he’ll jump at the opportunity to spoil you. “i like the one i have now!”

satoru pouts. a soft huff, right by your ear. “you don’t wanna wear matching coats?” he feigns sadness, scratching softly at your scalp, drinking up the little purrs that bubble up in your throat.

and you giggle. you giggle and all he can think is worth it, worth it, worth it. a stained coat or two means nothing. the blood on his hands is just insurance.

“well, when you put it like that…” you shift a little, curling your arms around his neck, breathing him in. he wonders if you can smell the cleaning detergent. “i guess i wouldn’t mind a new coat.”

and he grins. like clockwork. “right? want me to buy you new shoes while i’m at it? some jewelry?” he peppers kisses down your neck, amusement laced in his voice. “the whole store?”

again, those giggles. again and again. he laps them up like fine wine. “okay, that’s too much.”

“but you deserve it!” he whines, sickeningly sweet. sick to his stomach with love. “been working so hard, my angel.”

and, suddenly — you light up. his little firefly. brightening, inhaling a giddy breath. pulling away, a little, and he does his best to bite back the frown on his face. you’re practically beaming, sunshine personified, eyes glittering with giddy joy.

“right! i almost forgot!”

then you’re skipping away, happily, to retrieve your phone. and he knows what you’re going to show him, but still feigns surprise when he sees the score on your exam, that perfect 100 on the screen. still makes an expression of shock that he knows will get you to laugh, still picks you up and spins you around and tells you how proud he is.

he almost, almost feels bad, seeing you smile so wide; at what you assume to be the fruits of your own labour. almost feels ashamed, knowing that perfect 100 wouldn’t exist without the knife at your professor’s throat.

but, then again, this is how it should be. those numbers are the fruits of your own labour, because satoru is a part of you. and you deserve it, deserve it more than anyone — he knows you would have gotten it, even without his help, if your professor was competent enough to see your brilliance.

satoru smiles. he is proud of you. and this is exactly how it should be. he’s just bending the world into its rightful shape, cutting strings from a wrongly woven web, righting the wrongs of the people around you.

you, you, you. the only thing that exists.

all of him is for you.

”i knew you could do it. never doubted you for a second, baby,” he smiles, so wide his cheeks hurt, and you return it with a kiss to his jaw.

”thank you. i’m just so relieved,” you exhale a breath, heavy, and it’s like he can practically see the stress melting, slipping from your shoulders and eyes. worth it, worth it, worth it. ”gosh. i’m gonna sleep like the dead tonight.”

”as you should,” satoru chirps, pinching your side. softly, brimming with fondness. ”but before that, we’re gonna celebrate. all day. and tomorrow too!”

another smile coaxed from your lips; this time, it’s a little bit shy. bashful, at the praise, his endless excitement. so precious he wants to kiss you breathless. give you all the air in his lungs.

so precious that he forgets about everything else.

this is what you always do to him; wrap him up in a blanket of your love, cloud his veins with a nectar so sweet he takes the leap into your arms without a second thought. a foolish, lovesick butterfly, sticking to a single rose; dripping with honey, overflowing. the butterfly is too drunk on love to care.

you’re his flower, his joy, the most useful form of anesthesia. with you in his veins, on his mind, your lips on his jaw — satoru can pretend that his hands are clean. that they always have been.

it all slips from his mind. your professor, the creep who catcalled you, that one classmate you’ve been complaining about recently. he forgets that they even exists, and satoru thinks that must be what love is: something that narrows your world down until you can make a home out of it.

(something worth cherishing, no matter the cost.)

as always, it’s your voice that snaps him out of the trance he’s in. turning around at the sound of your call, the orpheus to your eurydice, too in love to save you from himself. you’re both getting ready to head out, dressing up for a well-deserved date.

satoru feels himself smile. he does the dirty work, and you get to reap the rewards. heaven on earth.

“oh, by the way! would you want to have dinner with my parents tomorrow?” you meet his absent gaze with a tilt of your head. “they’ve been asking about you again. it’s such a headache, seriously.”

satoru giggles, barely containing how delighted he is. raising a playful brow. “oh? grumpy that you aren’t the favorite child anymore, hm?”

“okay, first of all —“ you stifle a giggle, pulling a drawer open, rummaging through it. freshly washed clothes. he washes most of your things. “you aren’t their child. and second of all —“

“— yet.”

a pause.

satoru watches your gaze flick over to him, then back to the drawer, collecting yourself. a cute flush to your cheeks. “… whatever.” you clear your throat. “second of all — i don’t like how much they like you. what kinda spell did you put them under? it’s always satoru this, satoru that!”

a huff fills the air, and you mutter something that sounds a little like mocking, an obnoxiously imitated where’s satoru? that makes him chuckle into his fist.

he shrugs. “i’m just a natural charmer, y’know? and, for the record; i would love to have dinner with them.” he sends you a wink, playful, and you roll your eyes. “are you joining us?”

a bout of laughter pushes past your lips, and satoru thinks he could die happy — just soaking up the joy that spills from out your throat. he wishes he could live in it, paint your house in it, wear it. he wants your joy to be all he ever feels. he feels sick at the idea of ever being out of earshot for it.

“yes, i’m joining you.” your scoff is dripping with humour. ”i’d hate to be the fourth wheel, but it is what it is.”

satoru stifles a grin. ”lucky me. three beauties all to myself,” he drawls, a seductive lilt to his voice, just to hear that little noise you always make with the back of your throat. vaguely disgusted.

”you’re so gross.”

a coo. like the buzzing of a bee. ”don’t be jealous, honey. know you’re my favorite, don’t you?” satoru smiles — more sincere than you’ll ever know. ”could never love anyone else.”

”so my parents are in second place?” you quirk a brow, amusement lacing your words, and he clicks his tongue.

”well, they made you. i’d have to be a fool not to worship artists of such caliber.”

”charmer.”

”yours.” the word is a knife at his throat, a stain on his coat, a love so heavy it’ll burn him alive. ”only yours.”

and again, you smile. all he can think is that you deserve everything, everything that’s good, everything he could ever give you. it’s all he can think as you go about your day, as he leads you outside, as he watches a flicker of joy dance within your iris. as he watches you walk wherever your heart takes you.

the thought remains when you return home, when you wrap yourselves in blankets and he throws a leg over your waist and you curl an arm around his ribcage. it’s all he can think.

satoru was born to be of service — to someone, to the world, to something or another. he was born to carry a weight on his back.

so why not bear the weight of your burdens?

all he wants is to protect you. all he’ll ever need is that smile on your face. he was always bound to be just this: a dog at your heels, a halo around your head, the watchful eye keeping you safe from everything rotten in this world. he’s the butterfly, the spider, the web itself. he’ll never let you be tangled up in it.

he was born to be of service to you. so service you he will, until it all comes back to bite him.

“satoruuu — stop stealing the blanket!”

he prays it never will.

#self rb !!#I HOPE U HAVE THE MOST WONDERFUL DAY ALEXIS i am sending so many good vibes ur way watch out …….#i fear neither of us are ever getting off the gojo train 😞😞😞😞😞 sick & twisted.#wahhhhh ur comments all made me so happy 🥺🥺 i just feel like our brains are connected yk . through the mutual hivemind #like u could say literally Anything and i would simply go YES U GET IT ‼️‼️‼️‼️ and i would be telling the truth #alexis !! ✩

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spencstan · 4 years ago

Text

Six of Crows re-read

(i also did this for the shadow and bone trilogy so read that if you want to)

spoiler alert obiously

i'm SO EXCITED FOR THIS this is my comfort book (with crooked kingdom of course)

JOOST HI

oo fun fact this was my first grishaverse book and i read it with no context whatsoever except that the mc is an emo boy and morally grey

so IMAGINE my pure confusion when JOOST appeared

i was like ?????? weird take on morally grey character but ok

joost trying to figure out how to flirt with a girl is a mood

anyone wanna teach us how to???

i kinda wanna skip this part so i can see the crows..

but i won't don't worry

(won't I?

"I think Yuri may be quarantined"

aaaand?

so are we you are not special

i feel like it's very important for me to mention that i read this book in spanish first

and then i got into the fandom and i was like who the fuck is the wraith? i only know El Espectro

Heartender who??? ooo you mean Cardio

Tidemakers? nope, i only know Maremotores

for real i was so confused i had to re-read it in english (not that i mind tho)

say whatever you want about the spanish version but we have to agree that this design is pretty af

another one yay: "Retvenko was a Squaller" vs. "Retvenk era un Impulsor"

(should i also say that in my pfd english version the book is 294 pages long and in my pdf spanish version its 532????) (i think it's because in the english one the speces are way less like the lines are so close together wtf

i've decided that i'm bored so i'll be skiping this chapter

anya is super badass tho

skdgfalsdgfliaysvfascvhjl yesssssss inej

Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

KAZ

INEJ

I MISSED THEM

omg now i can picture amita and freddy SDJGKASKGLASG THIS IS AMAZING

we interrupt our regularly scheduled program to watch the shadow and bone trailer once again to hear freddy's beautiful voice

ok moving on!

now hear me out i'm giving you all permission to make fun of kaz for this one: Dirtyhands = Manos Sucias

hello i am Kaz Manos Sucias. nice to meet you!

AAAAA

AAAAAAAAAA

JESPER FAHEY

JESPER LOVE HI

SJDGHFKAHSGDLAJSDFSJ,AHFLHDSGF

I MISSED HIM OMG

OMG NOW I CAN PICTURE HIM AS KIT

can you tell jesper is one of my favourite characters?

i really love the fact that kaz is pissed about the murder of that ambassador ONLY because he can´t figure out how it happen

he´s such a nerd

i can't believe one of the firts things we hear jesper say is threathen to kill someone by writing "forgive me" with bullets

AND HE CALLS HIS GUNS "BABIES" OMG

picture saying hi baby and wylan thinkin he's talking to him but actually jesper's talking to one of his guns

Jesper rolled his eyes. "It's about sending a message. What's the point of a dead guy with forg written on his chest?."

"Compromise," Kaz said. "I'm sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets."

ooo thank god we have kaz to come up with creative solutions /j /s

honestly i love how they talk about kaz's cane like it's the scariest weapon ever (which it kind of is)

nothing will ever disappoint me more than finding out that in english their gang name is "the Dregs". like i don't even know for sure what that means

in spanish is "Los Indeseables" (the undesirables?) which sounds a lot more badass

no hate tho i like the dregs

but i was confused af bc i expected it to be sometihng like "the undesirables" or"the unwanted" or whatever

and it said "the dregs"

which in the translator means something like shit or something

anways moving on:

If he'd (kaz) ever been a little boy

i love how lowkey all the crows think he was just born exactly like he is now

imagine a baby kaz all dressed in black and threatening people

cute

"No mourners," Jesper said as he tossed his rifle to Rotty

"No funerals," the rest of the Dregs murmured in reply. Among them, it passed for "good luck".

YES

YESSS

i wonder what wylan's doing right now :))

i can't wait for the next book where he has a pov

the first time i read this book i literally looked at the title of every chapter to see if he ever got one (i was disappointed to say the least :((((

Besides, she was the Wraith - the only law that applied to her was gravity, and some days she defied that, too.

ma'am

marry me please

i'm gonna cry so hard once the show is out and we get to see inej omg

me simp

That Kaz had chosen Jesper to be one of his seconds was no surprise. Twitchy as Jepser was, with or without his revolvers, he was at his best in a fight, and she knew he'd do anything for Kaz.

idk why but i just love it every time kaz implies or shows that he cares or trusts jesper

it makes me soft

But every one of Inej's senses told her that was not how this was going to play out. Her father would have said the shadows were about their business tonight. Something bad was going to happen here.

underrated saying from Inej's father right there

"I'm a business man," he told her."No more, no less"

"You're a thief, Kaz."

"Isn't that what I just said?"

i see no lies here

not to be annoying but i hc jesper as adhd (i mean is pretty much as canon as wylan's dyslexia) so i'm gonna write here every time i see evidence :)

jesper with adhd part 1: impulsivity

Jesper snorted. "Stomach, spine. What's next, spleen?"

"Shut it" Oomen snarled. The rules of parley dictated that only the lieutenants could speak once negotiations had begun. Jesper mouthed "sorry" and elaboratedly pantomimed locking his lips shut.

he know he couldn't speak but couldn't stop himself from making a comment (i relate way too much to that lmao)

hoestly poor jesper he had to watch hid friend get shot and kaz do nothing about it

i would've been mad too

"I like it when men beg," she said. "But this isn't the time for it"

KAHGFAHLGSFGASFLGSAFS

this is one of the best quotes in the book by far

YASSS KAZ POV

Kaz could have tol Jesper that he knew he wasn't dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him eough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight.

cute

but kaz is petty af

he didn't even have a reason not to tell jesper that!

i love that kaz knows inej is following him but doesn't say anything because he wants to wait until she's ready

i LOVE the scene where kaz in in the van eck mantion /srs

idk why but it's so good

And, of course, there was the mystery of Van Eck's son.

wonder what that could be!!! /s

He grinned at her (...)

"Hmm." she said noncommittally, pretending to examine one of her knives, determined to ignore that grin.

KANEJ YESS

HE'S BASICALLY SHOWERING IN FRONT OF HER OMG

this is so funny poor inej is getting flustered

"And I'll need Wylan waiting at the Crow Club tomorrow night."

YES WYLAN OMG

One minute he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder

happens to the best of us :/

"Please, my darling Inej. treasure of my heart won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

if kaz doesn't say this on the show we riot

agreed?

it's so amazing how nina found a way to use her powers to get money instead of having to like steal and murder like the rest in the gang

NINA'S POV YESSS HIII

nina and inej omg

their friendship is just perfect

POOR MATTHIAS HE HAS TO FIGHT THE WOLVES

i would straight up cry

Matthias was dreaming again. Dreaming of her

i'm gonna cry damn it

this is the enemies-to-lovers we all needed

jesper has adhd part 2:

"Jesper was supposed to wait until three bells." said the pale boy

"It is three bells, Kaz." replied a small girl (...)

"Since when is Jesper punctual?" the boy complained with a glance at his watch

the time blindness come one

(btw i love the fact that kaz plans around jesper's time blindness instead of like threatening him to be on time)

i really love how every one feels the need to take the time to say/think that the masks are ugly

its so unnecessary lmao

yessss inej is a badass that kills monster we stan

and matthias is lowkey impressed lmao

as he should

"Thank you, Jesper," said Nina

"You're very welcome, gorgeous. See, Kaz? That's how the civilised folk do"

THESE TWO OMG

JESPER IS THE LOML

INEJ OMG LOOK:

She stepped aside as if she's known he was coming, languidly hooking her heel behind his ankle. Matthias let out a loud grunt as he landed on the stones

(...) "Clumsy, this one," the bronze girl said impassively.

that's what happen when you underestimate her bitch

AAAAAAA

PEOPLE

TIME TO FREAK OUT

WYLAN IS HERE

AND HE'S DOODLING STOP IT'S SO CUTE

ok jesper has adhd part 3 i think:

"Just how crazy is he?" asked Jesper, fingers drumming on the pearl handles of his revolvers.

ok first of all: stimming

second of all: hyperactivity

i rest my case

ok 2 or 3 things here

"I believe you know Nina," Brekker continued. "The lovely girl freeing you is Inej. (...) and this is Wylan, the best demolitions expert in the Barrel"

"Raske is better," Inej said

The boy looked up, ruddy gold hair flopping in his eyes, and spoke for the first time. "He's not better. He's reckless"

"He knows his trade"

"So do I"

ok 1: kaz calling inej lovely omg kanej

2: YES WYLAN STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF

2.5: kaz calling him the best cute af

3: honestly why do people think wylan is like an innocent soft boy or whatever. he's in a room full of murderers and thieves and the first thing he does is correct them and stand up for himself

like i wish i could do that

i would be crying like a bitch

AAAAAAAA

"Meet Wylan Van Eck"

KHDSGFALSGFIASGFAL

HI WYLAN BABY

YESSS JESPER'S POV NOW

I'M SO HAPPY also look at this it's the first thing in his pov

Jesper stared at Wylan

do i sense some wesper?????

ok everyone is being so mean to him right now

they are aclling him useless and an idiot and other shit

poor boy honestly he had to deal with this + taking part of a heist he is definetly not ready for + he has to hide the fact that he can't write or read

it so distrubing that kaz is literally the nicest one to wylan right now

"See that? Hidden depths." (...)"He's good enough at demo, and he's got a fine hand for sketching, thanks to all those pricey tutors."

(...)

"There you have it," Kaz said to Jesper. "Marketable skills. Wylan is watching you, Helvar"

GET READY

ARE Y'ALL READY?

OK THEN:

"Scheming face," Jesper whispered to Inej.

She nodded. "Definetly."

THEIR FRIENDSHIP OMG

AND THIS QUOTE

I NEED IT ON THE SHOW THEY BETTER GIVE IT TO US

"Who's Mark" damn wylan (but pretty good comeback to jesper tho)

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?

"Knife to the throat?" asked Inej.

"Gun to the back?" said Jesper.

"Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina.

"You're all horrible," said Matthias.

tag yourself i'm jesper

KJSFGAL kaz just told wylan to tell him everything he know about his dad's company

and he said he doesn't know and kaz was like "and you never looked trough his documents????

AND THEN HE GOT SAD AND SAID HE HADN'T (and kaz believed him this is sad)

AND NOW JESPER CALLED HIIM USELESS

ok you know i love you jes but if you keep this up

idk i can't do anything you're a sharpshooter

but stiiiiiil

LMAO MATTHIAS ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT KAZ

nice try

demjin

*insert spongebob voice* demjin

WE'RE GONNA TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO APPRECIATE INEJ GAHFA

BECAUSE KAZ DOESN'T

The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true.

*ugly crying*

Many boys will bring you flowers. But some day you'll meet a boy who will learn your favourite flower, your favourite song, your favourite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.

*uglier crying*

TANTE HELLEN IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

SOMEONE PLEASE STAB HER FOR ME

jesper has adhd part ?? (i have dyscalculia you can't expect me to remember the number):

That sound - the swift, shocking report of gunfire - called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.

do i really need to explain this?

ok just in case.. an adhd brain doesn't actually have a deficit of attention(the name just sucks) it's problem with controling that attention. the brain is always looking for new sources of dopamine which is why it shifts its focus so much

i love that jes thinks of matthias as "tha giant"

like sir

have you seen yourself?

you're tall af

HE GOT SHOT

WHY DID I FORGET JESPER GETS SHOT IN THE LEG HERE

"Close your eyes!"

"You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan"

"Just do it!"

i love the energy BUT NOW IT'S NOT THE TIME JES

YESS WYLAN SHOW THEM THEY WERE WRONG CALLING YOU USELESS

inej just stabed some guy int the d

good for her!

KAZ YESSSS HI

AWWW SHE'S WORRIED HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS CANE

KANEJ FOR LIFE

oh no wylan got shot too???? (just barely but stilllll por baby)

my Wraith omggg

ok 3 things about this:

Without another word, he tipped Oomen into the sea.

"No!" Wylan shouted, leaning over the railing, his face pale, stunned eyes tracking Oomen in the waves. (...)

Jesper set his hand on Wylan's shoulder. "Let it go."

"It's not right-"

"Wylan," Jesper said, giving him a little shake."Maybe your tutors didn't cover this lesson, but you do not argue with a man covered in blook and a knife up his sleeve"

1. wesper yasssss

2. wylan just argued with a mant hat had just tacken the eye out of someone. he literally called him out for being an asshole. like damn wylan is brave af i love him

3. do you think seeing kaz trow the guy out of the boat reminded wylan of when the same thing happened to him???? this makes me sad

he's brave and a good person and i just-

"Man with a knife, remember?" he said over his shoulder.

"Man with a gun!" Jesper called after him

this had no right being so funny

AND THEN KAZ GAVE HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER STOP I CAN'T

nina is the biggest kanej shiper no one can tell me i'm wrong

unrelated but if jesper had gone to the Little Palace and had studied there with nina they 100% would've had a crush on Zoya and bonded over it

like you can't tell me those two bisexual disaster wouldn't be absolutely in love with Zoya

jesper has adhd part ??:

Jesper scrubbed the back of his neck, touched his hands to his gunds, returned to his neck. He always seemed to be in motions

hyperactivity right there

and restlessness

"Do you know the best way to find Grisha who don't want to be found?" (...)

"Seems to be if they don't want to be found, you should just let them be" (jesper says this)

this conversation must be so stressful to him omg

LMAO JESPER CUT MATTHIAS HAIR THIS IS SO FUNNY

AND HE SHAVED HIM

ok you all know i love all of them but they can be sooo stupid

like wylan wrote no names on the drawing and he's excuse is that he doesn't know fjerdan?

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN TRUE he literally said he learned school fjerdan which means he should know how to write it too (we know why he can't but the tohers don't)

and even then like the excuse doesn't make any sense. why would having the original name be usefull if no one can fucking read it????

the worst part tho? NO ONE QUESTIONED HIM

THEY WERE LIKE "yup makes sense" AND WENT ON WITH THEIR DAY

i wondered how they didn't figure wylan's secret sooner but now i now

it's because theya re idiots

"I'm just doing my job. Stop glaring at me"

wylan baby let's not make the gigant mad

Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. "Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost."

Brekker's lips quirked. "I'll just hire Matthias ghost to kick your ghost's ass."

"My ghost won't associate with your ghost," Matthias said primply, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

i had to put this here i don't want to get murdered by the fandom

jesper, inej and nina have the BEST friendship

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JES AND INEJ TOGETHER ON NETFLIX

"I know some people don't understand, but Kaz told me ... he said it was my choice, that he wouldn't be the one to mark me again."

i love this because it happen when they had just met

he did it because he understands her trauma and he respects her not because he loves her (i doubt he did at the time)

Kaz had been impressed with the sketches. (...)

"Just learn to take a compliment. Kaz doesn't hand them out often."

I'M SO PROUD OF WYLAN

and yess kaz only compliments wylan (and inej but that's sarcastic so it doesn't count) because he's a proud dad

"And you don't belong here, either."

"I beg your pardon, merchiling?"

"We don't need a sharpshooter for Kaz's plan, so what's your job - other than stalking around making everyone angsty?"

He shrugged. "Kaz trusts me."

Wylan snorted and picked up his pen. "Sure about that?"

DAMN WYLAN DESTROYED HIM

also

"If you aren't born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances."

"I wasn't-" Wylan left off and set down his pen. (...)

aww cute neurodivergent boyfriends bonding

Wylan had turned back to his work, his disappointment obvious. For some reason, Jesper felt disappointed, too.

ajgflasjgfjagslfiuusgflgdfsgdflasdgfsd

wesper

aww jes checks on inej every morning and every night i love him

"Thank you for keeping me in this world when fate seemed determined to drag me to the next. I owe you a life debt."

Nina blushed deeply. "I was teasing, Inej"

LJFGALKGFALGA another cute friendship right there

(and i can see why people ship them romantically)

STOP INEJ AND JES ARE BONDING SO MUCH (page 127 so i can go back and read it lmao)

Van Eck writes to Wylan every week, and Wylan doesn't even open the letters

"They just said the same thing again and again: If you're reading this, the you know how much I wish to have you home. Or I pray that you read these words and think of all you've left behind."

should i kill him? anyone want to join me?

Inej bumped her shoulder against his."Then at least we're both the same kind of stupid." (...)

"You're too good for him, you know?"

"I know. So are you"

jes and her bonding over their stupid crush on a white boy

Because I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.

jfsfdajdhmgkfutdjrgsg ok i can't blame them for having a crush on him anymore

this chapter is full of kanej i love it

"What do you want, then"

You, Inej. You forever.

jksdgfoagsdfgsdgfklasgdflaghsldfgksdgfkahgsdfghjlkf

kaz's backstory makes me sad

"When we get our money, you can burn kruge to keep you warm," said Kaz. (...)

"I´m gonna pay someone to burn my kruge for me."

Kaz fell into step beside him. "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what big players do."

"You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone ...". Their voices trailed off as they tomped ahead, and Matthias and the others followed.

JES AND KAZ HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS

i can't believe we get to see nina and matthias meet and their whole backstory in less than a month omg

"It's not natural for women to fight."

"It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand."

QUEEN

YOU TELL HIM

oh no the dead grisha

this part breaks my heart every time

"Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?"

.....i'm just gonna leave this quote right here

anyways acab

stop nina tried to kill the survivor so they wouldn't suffer but she couldn't do it

and jesper did it for her without hesitation i wanna cry

and inej didn't want to do it either i want to hug them

"Because our crime is existing. Our crime is what we are"

..........

i'm gonna leave this here again

do with it what you will

"Don't mock what you don't understand."

"My mockery offends you? My people would welcome you laughter in place of this barbarity"

i- this conversation is so important

AAAAA JES AND WY ARE A GREAT TEAM I LOVE THEM

WYLAN TROWS BOMBS TOGIVE JESPER TIME TO GET READY TO SHOOT

INEJ AND KAZ ARE A GREAT TEAM TOO

THEY LITERALLY DID THE SCENE LIKE IN THE AVENGERS (but without the shield WHICH MAKES IT BETTER)

Jesper shouldered his rifle. "Wylan earned his keep."

Wylan gave a little jump at the sound of his name. "I did?"

YES BABY YOU DID GREAT

kaz getting self-conscious for his hair is pure comedy

but nina how can you say that have you see his hair on the show???? it's perfect

"Remeber our friend Mark?"

HELP I CAN'T

"Any other impossible feats you'd like us to accomplish?"

The bearest smile flikered over Kaz's lips. "I'll make you a list."

once again jesper and kaz being besties

unrelated but nikolai and jesper would love each other

the amount of sass they have between them it's unparalleled

"Mmm," Inej murmured, taking a sip from her mug. "Maybe you're just not enough."

DAMN

ma'am marry me please

kaz fainted damn poor boy

unrelated unce again but this is so much betetr than shadow and bone

like you can tell leigh improved so much

her characters are better and their arcs are better developed

the writing itself it's better

or maybe i'm just biased because i love soc so much but i think she definetly improved

INEJ IS TRYING TO GIVE HIM SPACE EVEN WHEN SHE'S TRAPPED AND LOCKED ON THE WAGON

I JUST - THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO MUCH

Though he'd trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with his shame.

Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. "The trick is not getting knocked down," he'd told her with a laugh. "No, Kaz," she's said, "the trick is in getting back up"

inej is smart af

Kaz was usually unshakeable during a job, but now he was on edge, and Jesper didn't know why. Part of him wanted to ask, though he knew that was the stupid part, the hopeful farmboy who picked the worst possible person to care about, who searched for signs in things that he knew deep down meant nothing - when kaz chose him for a job, when Kaz played along with one of his jokes. He could have kicked himself. He's finally seen the infamous Kaz Brekker without a stich of clothing, and he'd been too worried about ending up on a pike to pay proper attention.

ok i got a couple of things to say about this part

first of all it makes me so sad that jes cares so much for someone who dosn't deserve him. because no hate to kaz but they would never work as a couple and kaz already treats him like shit most of the time

i think this part shows who a lot about who jesper really is. a boy that grew up having to hide parts of himself, who thinks he's worth nothing but it's smart and capable, who's loyal and brave and caring but doesn't even know it himself. he's someone who feels he doesn't deserve good things and thinks he's not good enough, and that's why he unds up in all the wrong places with the wrong people. he left uni bc he fell in with the gangs, because he didn't think he was smart enough or even prepared to be in studying in the university. jesper is constantly hiding behind a mask or running from things because he's scared of not being enough

an kaz is everything jes in a way wishes he could be. kaz is secure in himself (at least on the outside), he's stable, he's smart, he's "unshakeable". and most of all, he doesn't care about others (we know that's not true but that's how he presents himself)

and that's the thing that causes jesper all his problems. because he's insecure because he thinks he's not good enough for the poeple or things he cares about. and he's always trying to do what's best for his loved ones: he went to the ice court to pay his debt for his father, he follows kaz everywhere beacause he cares about him, he offered to read to wylan (knowing it wouldn't be easy for him to be still that long).

and yeah it often doesn't work out becuase he's messy and he has problems but he tries. and he hates that. he hates that he cares so much about people because at the end of the day, that's what makes him feel like he's not good enough

one more thing and i'm done i promise

unpopular opinion but i love that leigh made jesper have a crush on kaz. 1 beacuse it's refreshing to see someone not get otgether with his first crush. and 2 because i love that it shows that we sometimes get attached to people that are not good for us, but that we can learn to move on. jesper ended with wylan who respects him and values him, unlike kaz

ok i'm sorry that was probably all bs

oo one more thing, jesper definetly has rsd (rejection sensitive disphoria), which is something most poeple with adhd have

"My father used to take me everywhere with him"

this is so sad. bc they probably had a good relationship when he was little. and then they figured he coudln't read and now his father treats him like shit

it's even worse than if he haf been horrible from the beginning because wylan knows he can be a good father. and so he thinks it's his fault and he deserves to be treated like that. i hate van eck

"You're cuter when you're smart"

(...)

"Definitely cuter when you're smart"

wesper yesssss

i love them so much

ok but why do people think jesper is stupid. like the boy just made a bunch of criminals pass out by mixing some chemicals

and he was going to the university at like 15

AAAAND NOW THEY KNOW HE'S A FABRIKATOR

amazing plot twist

also:

Wylan coughed. Flirting with him might actually be more fun that annoying him, but it was a close call.

oooo come on jesper we all know you just love getitng him to blush

and you love him

who said that? definitely not me, nope

awwww jesper misses being around animals that's cute

imagine him coming home to wylan one day with a puppy because he just couldn't resist

cute

Better terrible truths than kind lies

just leaving here more of inej's wisdom

ok this may be a reach but jesper has adhd part ???

Yellow Protocol? Red Protocol? He couldn't remember which was which. (...)

"The alarm was Yellow Protocol, a sector disturbance."

Jesper pushed at his temples. "I don't remember what that means"

a bad working memory? sounds familiar

kaz loves puzzles

it's canon

"I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue."

this part where wylan and jesper see the banner made with grisha's kefta kills me every time

I would have worn purple, Jesper thought, if I'd joined the Second Army. (...) He'd beenwilling, even eager to risk capture and execution as a thief and hired gun. Why was it worse to think about being hunted as a Grisha?

this makes me want to cry so much

another thing super sad: the fact that since his father is Kaelish and had some supersititons towards grisha, jesper grew up wondering if his own father was scared of him. he had to hide his powers and he was almost taught to be afraid of them

"Is it safe to leave them, you know-"

"Alive? I'm not big on killing unconscious men."

"We could wake them up"

WYLAN

damn the boy needs therapy

it's amazing how nothing went like they planned

not a single thing

PEOPLE GET READY

ARE YOU READY?

NEITHER AM I BUT WHO CARES

"What do you like?"

"Music. Numbers. Equations. They are not like words. They...they don't get mixed up."

ok dude the clues are right there he's basically saying it

"If only you could talk to girls in equations."

There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they'd created in the link, Wylan said, "Just girls?"

Jesper restrained a grin. "No. Not just girls." It really was a shame they were all probably going to die tonight.

wylan really said a straight man?? couldn't be me

this is the definition of bi panic "jesper restrained a grin" bitch we saw that

btw i love the slow burn

like they hint something here but they don't actually start liking each other until much later and they don't get together until almost the end of ck

i also love that the fact that they both like guys is like out in the open now. bc i'm not a fan of when queer characters have a crush and there's the whole thing of "are they queer too or not?"

like they both know htey are queer. but they don't get together right away bc they have to start liking each other before. they don't get together bc they are the only queer mlm characters

matthias fake betrayal killed me

i tought it was real

I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept fom this oath.

this is just-

also foreshadowing?

YAYY KUWEI HI

There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.

She's laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and got drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.

if i ever have a s/o and they don't tell me this at least once i don't want it

He needed to tell her... what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himslef together into some smeblance of a man for her

THIS

THIS IS LOVE RIGHT THERE

they are the only straight couple that matters

everyone else go home

Wylan had scratches all over his cheeks and neck. He was beaming. Inej grabbed his hands and sqeezed.

so cute omg

"You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan's school pals along the way"

KAZ

i mean it's true but you didn't have to say it

KAZ IS SMILING OMG

EVERYONE FREAK OUT WITH ME

HE'S "grinning like and idiot" STOP I LOVE HIM

"We are all someone's mosnter, Nina"

"I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all"

this part breaks my heart and i love it

"Stay," she oanted. Tears leaked from her eyes. "Stay till the end"

"And after," he said. "And always."

i just- helnik is perfect

AWWW JESPER MISSES WYLAN

my daily dosis of wesper :)

ok but in like 2 pages jesper tought of wylan like 10 times bc he's sad wy isn't with him

Jesper scanned the empty deck. He's assumed Wylan would come up to see them off. (...)

Jesper knew he was being selfish and stupid, but some petty part of him wondered if Wylan had deliberately kept away from him on the journey back. Maybe now that the job was complete and he was on his way to his share of the haul, Wylan was done slumming with criminals.

*charles boyle's insinuating voice* and why do you care so much???

btw YOU ARE WRONG. HE'S LITERALLY GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SPEAK

this scene where we find out the truth about wylan hurts so much but it's one of my favourites idk why

I LOVE THAT EVERYONE IS AS MAD AS I AM ABOUT THE LETTERS NOW

"Your're a fool," Jesper snarled. "He smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."

YES TELL HIM

the fact that wylan just heard him say that omg

"Deserved" amended Van Eck. He blew the whislte twice.

SOMEONE BETTER GRAB ME BEFORE I KILL HIM MYSLEF

THAT IDIOT

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

I'M GONNA CRY CAN SOMEONE KILL HIM FOR ME

Jesper screamed in rage and raised his guns.

YES EXACLTY WHAT I MEANT

JUST KILL HIM RIGHT NOW

"I'm not big on bludding, am I Inej?"

"Not as a rule"

Van Eck's lip curled. "And why is that?"

"Because he'd rather cheat," said the boy who was not Kuwei Yul-Bo in perfect, unaccented Kerch.

THIS WAS PERFECT

THE BEST WAY TO REVEAL THAT

(...), and Jesper flinched

baby he recognized wylan's voice

The Shu boy held out a hand. "Pay up, Kaz"

BITCH THIS IS AMAZING

THIS BOY MADE A BET WITH A CRIMINAL THAT HIS OWN FATHER WAS GOING TO TRY TO KILL HIM

AND HE WON THE BET

A nearly perfect replica of Kuwei Yul-Bo stood before them, but he had Wylan's voice, his mannerisms, and - though Kaz could see the fear and hurt in his golden eyes - Wylan's surprising courage, too.

i love it when they compliment him

my boy deserves all the compliments ever

AND KAZ IS PROUD OF HIS SON WE ALL KNOW THIS

Wylan cuold draw a perfectt elevation. He's made a drill that could cut throu Grisha glass from parts of a gate and scavenged bits of jewellery. So what if he couldn't read

this is taking me to some real places

i may cry you've been warned

WYLAN DIDN'T CARE THAT HE MAY BE STUCKED LOOKING LIKE KUWEI

this is making me cry

"A fool would have been waiting to be smashed to bits on that ship. And as for "traitor", you've called me worse in the last few minutes alone."

EXACTLY

YOU TELL HIM WYLAN

Instead, in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.

BABY

i would've done the same tho she's pretty

amita is sooo pretty i'm gonna die when the show comes out

Jesper was staring at Wylan, his eyes roving over the black hair, the golden eyes. "Why?" he said at last. "Why would you do this?"

nothing to say here except: wesper

You... how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I tought it was Kuwei?"

"Every time."

i want to cry so bad

"Why does it matter?"

"I don't know!" Jesper said angrily. "Maybe I liked your stupid face."

a very staright and platonic thing to say of course

i know jes we all liked his stupid face

"Jesper made a mistake," said Wylan. "A stupid mistake, but he didn't set out to betray anyone."

YES WYLAN DEFEND YOUR BOYFRIEND

And maybe he'd kept him in the dark about Wyllan because he wanted to punish him a little

even kaz know they like each other come on

Jesper sat with elbows on knees, head in hands. Wylan deside him wearing th face of a stranger.

wylan give him a hug fro me please

he needs it

"Scheming face," murmured Jesper.

"Definitely," agreed Wylan.

i miss inej already

And I'm going to get my girl. Inej could never be his, not really, but he would find a way to give her the freedom he´d promised her so long ago.

i'm ugly crying and so what?

and now we're done....

i want to read this book again omg this is unhealthy

#shadow and bone #s&b #six of crows #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #kaz brekker #grishaverse #inej gahfa #matthias helvar #nina zenik #freddy carter #kit young #amita suman #soc #helnik #kanej #wesper

79 notes · View notes

bytedykes · 4 years ago

Note

Any particular reason you don't like Jace? No judgement I just live for hearing people's takes

i’d like to preface this by saying i don’t rlly have a problem with people who do like jace as long as they aren’t weird abt it, and that sometimes i do enjoy some portrayals of jace, none of them canon or widespread fanon.

in s1 jace is a selfish asshole who throws his bond with alec aside in favor of clary with absolutely no hesitation. he 1) refuses to listen to anyone unless they agree with him, 2) refuses to respect alec who is not only his parabatai and brother, but also the (acting) head of the institute jace is stationed at, aka his superior, 3) is just generally really shitty to alec (bringing up alec’s feelings for him and throwing them back in his face, “maybe your mother was right and your best just isn’t good enough,” yelling at alec when he ‘lost’ clary despite clary running away herself and alec not being at fault for that, etc) while alec does his best to protect him and help him with his halfbrained plan to get back clary’s mom. also i hate d*m sherwood lmao

he’s just a very self-centered person with no regard for consequences in s1, he mistreats the parabatai bond, and he betrays alec at some point. ik it sounds like i’m being biased as someone who likes alec but that’s not just it lol, there’s def more to it hfkjsh

(although i definitely am mad on alec’s (and magnus’) behalf too don’t get me wrong)

jace invites himself into magnus’ home with no prior notice and just announces he’s gonna be living there for a while?? he and clary are like, the sole cause of at least half the season’s problems, and i’m willing to cut clary some slack because she’s completely new to this and doesn’t have a clue what she’s doing. i have issues with her in s1 too but her behaviour is more justifiable imo. still shitty but i can see where she’s coming from and what her motives are. jace on the other hand should KNOW BETTER! he’s been in the shadowworld since BIRTH, he knows all the laws and customs and he just doesn’t give a shit!! he steals the goddamn mortal cup, convinces magnus to steal from alec, and in generally just behaves like a clown 🤡🤡🤡

i guess he’s less irritating (too mild of a term but w/e) in s2, but still incredibly frustrating at times, and i haven’t rlly seen s3 so idk what he’s like there but from what i know he’s still an entitled dick a lot of the time.

ofc he has his decent human being moments, but those are. hm. not as common as they should be for me to be able to enjoy his character asdlfkjkfd. that’s my reasons abt my issues with jace’s canonical self, but also i just generally don’t like him lol. like there are reasons (see above) but i also don’t need them to dislike him if ykwim.

i also dislike a lot of his fanon portrayal because most ppl who stan him (and i mean stan like hardcore stan, not just enjoy him normally btw; ppl who just like him and think critically abt him are ok i have nothing against them) excuse away all of his behaviour and flaws and refuse to think critically about his actions in favor of acting like he’s the best, morally righteous character around. (presumably because he’s a cishet white “bad boy” character which u know ppl go crazy for loll.) also, j@lecs. i wont get into that but j@lecs have highkey ruined jace even further for me.

this isn’t to say that i completely hate jace, i actually think that his character had the potential to be rlly interesting and at least semi-likeable, but he just. isn’t. i hate his canon character, and the way the majority of the fandom writes him. obvs u can like jace if u want idrc as long as u don’t try to convince me he’s actually a good character/person (in canon).

tl;dr: he’s an entitled asshole without regard for rules or other ppl’s feelings.

so yeah, there’s that. hope this was a take u liked hearing anon! hfkjshd<3

#asks #anon #sh #anti jace wayland #anti jace herondale #anti jalec #ramble tag #misc #anyway yeah that's my Take #hfsjkd #salt #also hes just... incredibly racist

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hellzyeahwebwielingessays · 5 years ago

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The Not-So-Amazing Mary Jane Part 7: MJ blindly trusts Beck (even though she wouldn’t!)

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This post will be the first of maaaaaaany where I’ll be unpacking the problems prevalent in the status quo presented to us in at the end of AMJ #1.

My intent is to thoroughly explore these problems in this and consequent posts before moving onto issue #2. By doing this I (and others so inclined) can try to bear them in mind as prevailing problems with every issue until such as a time as they are addressed.

In future posts like this (at least until we get to AMJ #2) I will try to dispense with the preamble and get right down to business.

But for now I should start by clearly defining what exactly the premise presented in AMJ #1 even is.

The premise as I see it is as follows:

Mary Jane, out of sympathy for him and interest in the project, is making a movie with Mysterio. A Mysterio who has disguised himself as a respected film director and hired former felons and current super villains as part of his crew. He and MJ maintain Beck’s secret from everyone (which includes Peter but we’ll get there in another post).

In this instalment I will be addressing why MJ’s trust of Beck and failure to verify his claims is nonsensical.

As touched on in our coverage of AMJ #1, Mary Jane believes Beck’s sob story and ultimately agrees to work with him in spite of his crimes and the presence of active villains. Williams writes her genuinely sympathetic and interested in the film project, buying what Beck is saying and lacking any suspicion beyond that.

The most we get is MJ (arguably) noticing Beck’s abuse of one his staff and presumably bearing it in mind for future dealings with him.

Now, MJ is great at reading people and is very aware she possesses that skill. Between her upbringing moving around the country, her profession in acting and modelling (which puts many people, in particular young women, in potentially vulnerable positions) and her experience dating and living with a superhero, it’s an essential skill and one she’s honed. You could call it her personal brand of spider-sense.

If MJ’s Spidey sense were registering honesty from someone then it’d be crucial in her decision to ultimately believe them and judge their threat level.

These pages though get muddy because Beck is mixing the truth and deception. Technically everything he is saying is true so MJ would likely be picking that up. But he didn’t actually need MJ to be in the movie so he was lying about that and more poignantly he is omitting the fact this movie plays into Kindred’s wider schemes.

Is MJ’s failure to register deception from Beck a mistake? Is Williams dropping the ball here?

Actually no.

Mary Jane is a good read of people, but she is absolutely not flawless in this regard. There have been times she’s misread Peter and indeed been fooled by other people. Five key examples come to mind and we’re going to be starting with the most debatable ones.

Firstly there was Jason Jerome a fellow actor who offered friendship and support when MJ began working on the soap opera Secret Hospital. Jason was a harassing creep intent upon seducing Mary Jane, regarding her marital status as challenge that’d make his ‘conquest’ all the sweeter. I go into much more detail about Jason’s encounters with MJ in this post.

I will concede that it can definitely be argued that MJ was out of character or emotionally vulnerable during the course of this subplot so it doesn’t necessarily prove anything. Nevertheless, in MJ’s canonical history she was fooled by a fellow (and more experienced) actor than herself.

Secondly there was Aunt May’s death in ASM #400. Aunt May was impersonated by a dying actress who’d been genetically altered to look like and register as her. For around a year everyone (including MJ) believed their beloved May to be dead once more proving how MJ’s ability to read people isn’t flawless. Again though there is a lot of stuff that can be contested with this example, the most significant being that as originally written the intent was that this was the actual Aunt May, not an imposter.

However even accepting the retcon one could argue that due to her pregnancy, May’s miraculous recovery from a coma and the general stress of the Clone Saga up until that point Mary Jane’s ‘Spidey sense’ was not going to be working properly. However, canonically this is once again an example of a fellow (and likely more experienced) actress deceiving MJ.

My other examples don’t have nearly as much leeway.

Perhaps the most significant is Jonathan Caesar, the Parkers’ landlord who was obsessed with ‘owning’ Mary Jane. You can imagine what that would’ve entailed. He abducted MJ and held her prisoner for a little while. The thing is initially MJ found the guy charming and the idea he was a threat never crossed her mind.

Unlike the above two examples there weren’t any obvious extenuating circumstances that I can recall to excuse MJ’s faux pas. She was just genuinely fooled by him.

Then we have her friend Lorraine whom you might recall from part 4 of this essay series. As mentioned there, Lorraine was an old friend of MJ’s who’d developed a cocaine problem. MJ sought to help her and Lorraine seemed willing to be helped. But when MJ left her alone for a little while Lorraine almost immediately snuck out to find her next hit.

Models are not actresses strictly speaking. But to my limited knowledge their profession must involve some degree of adopting a false persona. Even if we were to say otherwise, Lorraine was clearly capable of duping Mary Jane.

Finally, for an extended period of time the Chameleon fooled MJ and most everyone else when he impersonated J. Jonah Jameson in Web #52.

Like Beck, Chameleon made a whole career out of fooling people and Beck could be argued to be even better at it than Chammy.

So the idea that someone could fool MJ is definitely possible in a lot of stories.

But we shouldn’t take MJ’s trust as a sign that she is in the right. It’s so often tempting to side with the protagonist’s POV precisely because they are the protagonist. If MJ trusts Mysterio she must feel he isn’t dangerous and isn’t that bad really right?

But the possibility that she can be wrong is on the table based upon her history and (whilst I personally doubt Williams intended it this way) that is what is happening here big time.

Now I am not suggesting that MJ should second-guess every read of people she makes nor that the above examples should be sore spots in her mind. But collectively they would enshrine to Mary Jane herself that she shouldn’t just presume her immediate reads of people are accurate, and that would go even more so for professional actors.

In this issue MJ hasn’t got any extenuating circumstances to compromise her judgement. She isn’t in the midst of an emotionally turbulent time in her life. She isn’t being blinded my friendship, loneliness or familial love. She also hasn’t had much time to observe or get to know Beck up close and personal, this exchange being the longest amount of time they’ve ever spoken to one another.

But as I spent far too much time pointing out in parts 3-5, MJ is very aware of Mysterio’s skills, his typical tactics and the horrible things he has done. She knows he is a career criminal and a dangerous/nasty one at that. And she knows that he is an incredibly accomplished and experienced manipulator/deceiver/actor, almost definitely more experienced than her self. And this is to say nothing of the times he’s personally hurt her or the people she cares about.

Realistically upon learning of Beck’s involvement she should somehow start to work against him and most definitely not trust him!

Even exempting the personal pain he’s been complicit in visiting upon Mary Jane and/or her loved ones, she knows enough about him to be suspicious.

In knowing his skillset and M.O. Mary Jane should either not trust him at all or at the very least not simply not take everything he says at face value. She would be savvy enough to recognize whatever her ‘radar’ is reading. At best the odds are 50/50 that her radar is off. And those odds exist precisely because making you believe things that aren’t real is the entire conceit of Beck’s alter ego.

But wait, there’s more!

Beck basically admitted to:

Stealing a man’s identity

Wasting over a year of his life working on a project that doesn’t actually exist (in a location notorious for unaccounted for landmines btw)

Using that to con people into giving him their money

Using that money to make a movie which means he’s gambling with their money without their consent and potentially gambling with the public image of the film studio, the crew and the man he’s impersonating if the film gets a bad reception or financially flops

He’s doing all this off the back of what an extremely risky movie to make in the first place. Imagine if an empathetic and unapologetic movie about the life of George Zimmerman came out?

Said movie is a vanity project explicitly about himself

He’s using current super villains on the crew. If you are a current super villain then by definition you are not out on parole, you aren’t reformed and you are still wanted by the law.

And Mary Jane…goes along with this. Lampshading the fact that it’s insane for her to do that doesn’t excuse the extreme mischaracterization of doing that in the first place.

At the very least she should run a check online or with her various contacts in the super hero community to see if he’s actually dying. Remember from MJ’s POV Beck has full on faked his own death at least twice. She has no hard evidence for this whatsoever beyond the word of a man who is notoriously duplicitous.

Now to play Devil’s advocate we could argue that MJ believes Beck is out of jail legally. He might’ve served his time, been let out early for good behaviour or precisely because he is dying. Or perhaps he had legal help that weaselled him out of being locked up.

However this angle of interpretation just doesn’t hold up to scrutiny.

For starters given his very long history of very serious crimes (even excluding the ones MJ is unaware of) it’d be common sense to presume that Beck would be serving time barring extenuating circumstances. Common sense would then lead anybody to try and confirm if any extenuating circumstances exist. This could prove impossible because how accessible records on costumed criminals are to the public is unclear. But anyone with a phone or internet access could at least try.

MJ has far more than mere common sense and she’s got far more than a phone and internet access. And yet there isn’t even a hint that she makes even a lazy attempt at confirming Beck’s story.

Now let’s pretend MJ forgot every single encounter with Mysterio she knows about before Nick Spencer’s run. No faking Aunt May’s death. No helping Doc Ock in ‘Ends of the Earth’. Nothing from ‘Guardian Devil’. None of the stuff we covered in parts 3-5.

Mary Jane would still realistically be fully aware Beck committed a HUGE crime mere months ago that involved the Avengers (plus other heroes) that was also the inciting incident that reconciled her with the love of her life.

This alone should be enough for her to not so quickly or blindly trust Beck! Even if she was unaware of the legal fallout of that event it was still an event that endangered lots of innocent people and heroes. Chiefly it endangered the love of her life! MJ trusts the guy whose actions nearly killed the man she loves most in the world!

Speaking of Peter by the way, he’s a super hero who’s regularly tangled with this guy.*

She has also worked for, is an acquaintance of or personal friends with:

Tony Stark/Iron Man

Riri Williams/Ironheart

The main roster of the Fantastic Four

Several big name members of the Avengers (including Captain America and Jessica Drew)

The Avengers faithful butler Jarvis

Members of a support group comprised of the loved ones of super heroes (see ASM v5 #8-10)

Carlie Cooper, a forensics scientist who has worked for the police

She has also encountered shape shifters, impersonators, clones and body swaps in the last 10 years of her life, so a certain degree of safety precautions would be requisite for her.

Collectively this means MJ would not simply presume Beck is walking free legally and more importantly could and would check up on that. It wouldn’t be hard. She wouldn’t even have to tell Peter if for some reason she was worried about him knowing; we’ll dive a lot more into this in a much later instalment.

Her research would then naturally turn up the fact that Beck clearly escaped from prison. Even if the details of Beck’s trial or consequent legal proceedings (like being paroled or cutting a deal) weren’t public knowledge Mary Jane’s contacts would be able to inform her of what would’ve happened. Thus she’d know Beck was legally declared insane and sent to Ravencroft but not legally released.

Similarly even if the details of Mysterio’s ‘death’ in Ravencroft weren’t publically known MJ would have the means of learning that and thus confirm that Beck had faked his death once again; (see ASM v5 #24-25). This would then open up the possibility to MJ that the body the authorities have belongs to someone else.

From MJ’s point of view, at best that’s macabre and unethical. At worst it could mean Beck caused someone’s death. MJ is clearly aware that Mysterio might be capable of such a thing because she is almost immediately concerned Beck has done something bad to the real Cage McKnight!

Now I’m not saying MJ is going along with Beck even knowing he probably killed his psychiatrist. But what I am saying is that it’s utterly out of character for MJ (or pretty much any character) to not check this stuff!

Maybe Williams will address all this, but reading AMJ #1 it seems far more likely she’s not bothered to consider the implications of the direction she has taken. Or worse, she has but is ignoring them because she wants to tell the story she wants no matter what.

The point is moot though because MJ wouldn’t give Beck the benefit of the doubt in the first place.

There is more to be said regarding MJ’s trust issues in the story, but I think I’ll save that for next time.

*And typically won through a highly unique danger sense that MJ lacks, a sense that mitigates Beck’s abilities.

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#Amazing Mary Jane #mjwatsonedit #Mary Jane Watson Parker #mary jane watson #MJ Watson #Mysterio #Quentin Beck #Peter Parker #spider-man #Leah Williams

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miqojak · 1 year ago

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For Miqo'te, their lore is rather clear in just how catlike they are - very. Au Ra get a ton more lore about their actual tribes, but not as much about lifestyle in general, since they give us a bit about every single tribe...so I imagine it depends on your Au Ra! But when you slap animal bits on a human body, why would you just play them as humans, in my humble opinion? Why not just be human, at that rate? I love leaning into the anthro aspect, and showing just why that race/species isn't just a human with horns/human with cat ears, etc. But with Miqo'te? It's rather less detailed in what specific tribes get up to (thus me making my own head-canon for J tribe), but their behavior being very catlike is canon! I actually don't have Jak roll her R's because I find it silly...but most examples of Miqo'te in canon do talk that way! It's precisely because they are so hardy and so fast and jump and climb and love to hunt so much that they're listed as making great sailors and adventurers!

Lore about Miqo rolling Rs!

General lore page about Miqo

"Fiercely territorial and proud of their traditions, it could be said that Miqo'te are unsuited to life in the city-states. Nevertheless, as natural-born hunters given to a nomadic lifestyle, many Miqo'te have achieved great success as adventurers.”

Encyclopedia Eorzea - Miqo’te Identity: “A common trait among all Miqo'te is their fierce pride for their heritage as hunters. Seeing themselves as part of the natural world itself, they prize above all the freedom of the hunt, and do not shun death when old age and infirmity sap them of the physical talents needed to pursue their quarry to their satisfaction. To the free-willed Miqo'te, other races’ way of life - their wont to flock together with their own kind, to overrun nature to build cities, to seek safety and stability in laws and alliances - must seem quite curious indeed.”

(This page is a great lore resource, btw - just thought I'd toss it in!)

Ultimately, play your OC as you will - there's always going to be someone who likes what you're doing and wants to write with you, (and FFXIV is kinda shallow on most of its lore) - I'm honestly just grateful that they do say that Miqo are more catlike... because again, why make an anthro race at all, if they're just humans with cat-ears/rabbit ears/horns/scales etc? Why do they have those, where do they come from, what benefit does it give, etc - we're human every single day, so I like to get away from it some in fantasy, myself, and lean into something more fantastical. Yes, your Miqo probably wants to nap in the sun, and enjoys small, fast moving objects. As for Au Ra - well, why wouldn't you lean into the fact that you have horns and scales? (Though also mammalian features, so no they're probably not cold-blooded, no, but it's a fun joke! There is no species in existence with both reptilian and mammalian features, so people make their own stuff up... because that's more fun than 'human with more frustratingly shaped hearing organs'. But since SE won't give us more lore about our OC's races, we gotta make it up ourselves!) And dragon/lizard-based people probably have a few dragon/lizard-based things about their personality, even if the behavior isn't necessarily necessary anymore - after all, my house cats still stir their water before drinking it, even though it's fresh running water... but it's instinct! It can be fun and interesting to think about those little things that differ because you're a non-human. But! If you aren't intrigued by all the little ways an anthro-person would potentially be different, they could have just spent most of their time around Hyur - easy solve!

tl;dr There is lore, if you want it, but you are always okay to play your own version of a thing!

I think I'm literally the only Au Ra player in the entire world who doesn't like thinking of my Au Ra as a "lizard" or lizard-like. It just... doesn't work for me. Admittedly, I'm not really fond of lizards, which may be heresy. (I mean they're fine they're just... not really appealing to me.)

The whole "Au Ra sitting around on sunny rocks and disliking the cold" thing makes me scratch my head because it doesn't make sense to me. Au Ra are definitely not cold-blooded. And many of them come from places that would have cold winters. The Steppe would certainly have long, frigid winters, even in the desert regions, modeled as it is on the Eurasian Steppe.

So coming from the Steppe, I imagine Severia is quite tolerant of cold weather, which seems to be a characteristic she does not share with a single other Au Ra. I don't imagine she would like sitting around on sunny rocks more than the average person of any race. (Actually, she doesn't like being idle much so she would like it considerably less than most.)

I'm not writing this to disparage other players and their headcanons at all. Everyone should develop their OCs in whatever way makes them happy. It's just something curious I've noticed. Sometimes it makes me feel solitary and makes it hard to relate to other Au Ra players. But Severia is a rather solitary soul so perhaps it's fitting.

#ffxiv lore #ffxiv #miqo'te #au ra #ffxiv canon #I don't know why so many people don't play their anthro people as more anthro #even Jak is ICly put off by how domesticated every single Miqo she meets is #since Miqo are VERY much feline in all they do - city cats or not #plus it gets boring if every single person from every race is just another human with human outlooks and human behavior #lean into the race you chose - otherwise why choose anything non-hyuran if you're just going to be a Hyur in practice?#Jak is a bit more feral in outlook than others but there's ways to present your cat-side without just being a feral little shit xD #even A'vaanoh who seems very cultured in all his suits...couldn't give up the hunt! He enjoys bounty hunting for big monsters!

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sanguinarius-archive · 5 years ago

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Hey! Could I get to know some of your headcanons about dickfigures/your designs for them? :D

ya ya sure!!!!

i already have my designs for them up if you havent seen, here they are!

as for headcanons idk how long this post will be so ill just add a read more for anyone who might not wanna scroll thru it all lol

red!!!!!

his real name is rowan bc i thought it was cute, also it means “little red one” which is eVEN BETTER

he’s nonbinary masc and bisexual! the self projection is REAL

he has adhd

most of my headcanons kinda flow into my own version of dick figures because i’m not very Satisfied with canon NJSJDNSKM so like. for example red doesn’t just kill people or whatever. he gets into fights and has scars and wears bandaids a lot bc of them

he graduated college with blue, he got a bachelor’s degree in fine arts (honestly idk how college works bc im a grade 10 baby so if thats like totally wrong just let me know also im. canadian so idk how american school system works LOL)

red got suspended a lot in high school but never expelled. mostly bc he got in fights that were mainly him protecting stacey from shitty people (he sees her as his sister so he was rlly protective) and the school wasnt really sure what else to do so they just. you know. suspended him a bunch of times hoping itd do something but it didnt

he hates his dad! reason being is bc when he was born, his dad was actually an alien able to disguise himself as human, so he wanted to take red back to his home planet cuz red turned out to be more powerful than anything his dad had ever seen. but red’s mom was like Nope, so she snuck out with him and his plush cat (kitty amazing) and they were never found. red is very close with his mom and is scared of his dad coming back someday

we know he canonically likes rlly loud music so im just gonna project here and say he’s a metalhead. at least, some form of it. he likes the alt scene music and industrial rock. examples being deftones, nine inch nails, skinny puppy, rage against the machine, kittie and others. it keeps him focused and calm

bLUE!!!

we know blue was bullied as a kid but i dont wanna say red also bullied him bc i feel like thats just wrong to me? MAYBE ITS NOT ACTUALLY but it just makes me sad so like. lets say red, being as protective as he is, stood up for blue a lot cuz he was like “oh this kid cant fight” so he knew what to do

blue dated pink for awhile but they mutually agreed to break up after blue realized this wasnt what he wanted (he came to the conclusion that he was gay, well, he knew for awhile but it was Internalized Homophobia)

he grew up in a very conservative family so to see the world completely differently by meeting red, ems (lt), pink and stacey was a very good thing for him. unfortunately even tho his family did love him, it was conditional so they stopped talking to him after he came out. thankfully he’d already graduated high school by that point

despite being emotional blue isn’t very good at understanding how he’s an emotional person. he’s able to distinct one feeling from another and analyze them, but it’s just... hard for him to kind of. process WHY he feels a certain way? which is what’s led to a lot of his struggles in getting closer with ppl

he loooves reading and writing we already know this but i mean come on. he also got a bachelor’s degree in english/ela. so he’s able to become a teacher ig but he doesn’t really want to? at least not for awhile yet

blue was ems’ first friend. at first he couldn’t understand why they had tics but decided he shouldn’t get into someone else’s business. he didn’t find it weird, just cool!

he and red would always pair up for projects if they had classes together!!!!!! blue would do the writing/research and red would do the illustrations. they always turned out really good even if it ended with red cramming it at the last minute

surprisingly hates broseph more than red. well i mean its not surprising, because broseph was always a huge DICK to him

blue’s real name is wyatt!!!!! i forget the meaning but i felt the sound of it and the meaning fit him well

piiiiink!!!!!!!!!!

she’s still in college, getting her doctorate to be an astrophysicist!

pink is very very smart and will help anyone who’s struggling with something in school. she was basically the genius who always got in the honor roll every year. but, she actually was really anxious especially with exams

pink encourages stacey to go back to school, and sometimes stacey does, but she always ends up leaving again. it’s a little stressful but pink has hope for her

she’s never drank one sip of alcohol in her entire life. she smoked weed once, but it felt weird so she didn’t do it again

ever since she and blue broke up she’s been very supportive of him bc she herself is bisexual!!! so she sees nothing weird about it. in fact, about almost a year later she started dating stacey

pink’s real name is lily. when she became friends with blue she met red through him and she was like “can i join your nickname thing” and they said “sure” so they called her pink. stacey sometimes calls her pinky or just pink but mostly lily

pink helped red with academics. even tho he was sometimes insufferable to work with (/j thats a Joke i promise she’s a very patient person) she didn’t give up on him!!!! in return he helped her out with some fitness stuff cuz pink was always insecure about gym, and later when she graduated she actually got into exercising bc of red!

she loves travelling and going for walks. she owns a lot of houseplants and she’s given them all names and takes very good care of them! she also owns an albino ball python named Velvet

STACEYYY!!!!!!!

stacey is nOT actually all about sex this time ok. i don’t like that. i mean she did have some personality in canon but it wasn’t much? anyways she just really likes to express herself thru tight/”risque” clothing like fishnets and leather and pleated skirts and thigh-highs and platform boots, all of that. basically she’s a goth girl but doesn’t really “act” like one

she’s really intelligent when it comes to animals and insects and will tell you anything you need to know. when she goes back to college she gets a degree in environmental science

stacey can play the electric and bass guitars!!!! she was in a band back in high school but it never really went anywhere beyond performances at parties in someone’s garage. not that she didn’t like it, looking back on it makes her feel happy, but she wished it continued. probably why she has a hard time going back to college bc she’s not sure what she really wants

stacey is a trans woman btw!!!!! unfortunately it was a little difficult in high school to be who she was bc some kids were jerks, but there were a lot of others who supported her which is good

she views red as her brother as well and they still hang out a lot

i haven’t really had time to focus on stacey and make headcanons and stuff for her so i don’t have a lot but... let’s say, secretly, she’s a scifi nerd. and for the sake of debate, let’s say she’s a marvel fan. if you count being a fan of deadpool as being a fan of marvel

LOVES GIRLS.... loves pink!!!

has very similar music taste to red’s!!!!!

emssss!!!!!!! (lt)

instead of being a stereotype of ppl with tourette’s syndrome, it’s just a normal thing that isn’t focused on a whole lot. it doesn’t make ems swear but if they get really really frustrated they’ll curse while doing one of their tics

ems is agender, i’d say they’re also ageless but i don’t really want to make them too “nonhuman” because i feel like that’s dehumanizing to people with tourette’s. so let’s just say most laws of existence don’t apply to them

they’re very friendly!

they’re an aspiring musician, just like in canon

ems is also big into horror movies believe it or not. they’re pretty critical of them though like most horror movie fans, and only like specific ones (i’m not a horror movie fan myself so i can’t say what Specific Ones they like ajsdhbjn just imagine they have good taste okay)

they r very artsy too and like doing crafts cause it gives them something to focus on. it’s just a hobby though it’s not something they’re Professional at

they love nature and flowers and trees and all kinds of plants and animals!!! they like to document what they see when they travel thru nature and stuff so they bring a camera with them (and their phone, but, you know whatever)

ems was never really affected by things people said to them regarding their syndrome. to them it was something they were born with, so they couldn’t bother to feel bad about themselves. in certain situations theyre able to control it but 90% of the time they don’t care about what ppl think

aaaand there u go!!! as for minor characters like raccoon, jason/trollz0r, broseph, dingleberry, they all exist (raccoon isnt a racist stereotype tho), i just dont focus on them a whole lot. most of my hcs for stacey and ems here were thought up on the spot since i havent had time to lay out all my ideas for them but i hope what i have here is good !!!!

also, red and blue ARE dating, and pink and stacey ARE ALSO dating. gay rights

#asks #dick figures #Anonymous

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serenagaywaterford · 6 years ago

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11) f) "and then… learns the hard way and is killed by their own ideas. (Literally or metaphorically.) She’s so interesting to watch because her pre-Gilead persona was quite a bit different, just in a different way than the other women." Right? What made me kinda sad for both Serena and Fred (I know!) is how their relationship crumbled under Gilead. They've basically swapped roles. Fred took advantage of Serena's fame and "accomplishments" and became the typical, patriarchal assh-- I meant

12) husband. All it took was some authority/power and... BOOM. His true colors were revealed. As for Serena, I find it quite ironic that for all her advocacy for "women must accept their biological destiny and stay at home" bs, she led the opposite of that life. She took equality for granted and had an education, a career and a marriage, all on her own timetable. Bonus? She was kinda bossy with Fred, which (ngl) I found cute, lol. (Btw, Serena is based on Phyllis Schlafly, right? Bc the

13) parallels are there.) A few moments before Serena gets shot, Fred looks at her like she's the sun. He's so proud of her and enamored. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! g) “I won’t forget your help”, I turned to my friend and was like, “Was that a threat?" LOL, when I first watched 2x10, I had a flashback of this "promise" and I was like, "Is this what you meant, BITCH?" Does she have Alzheimer's or what? h) "June has literally nothing else of her own that has any sort of privacy but Serena

14) gives her a box AND the key to lock it." Yeah, that's how I read that scene too, but still... i) "Which, is smart in a way, cos [Fred]’s so grossly obsessed with her that she can get away with virtually anything." Yeah. How he didn't hit her harder after that slap... A miracle. Ugh, and that quote he used about "all women"? YUCK. j) "I read some interview where the showrunners were saying the main line through S2 was June teaching Serena how to be a mother." I mean, yeah, that's definitely

16) another thing that connected them in S2. Motherhood. Which is weird. Bc Serena is delusional about Nicole being hers.

----------

It’s funny cos I don’t feel sad for Serena and Fred’s relationship cos I’m not convinced it was really based on genuine love, even in the beginning -- but maybe that’s just my own headcanon getting mixed up with canon lol. I mean, that sounds really dismissive cos clearly they were into each other, proud of each other, and really supported each other’s (asinine, dangerous) ideas. Like attracts like? I don’t fully trust that Fred was as docile as he looks even back then. I personally think he knew what he was doing the entire time and knew exactly what Serena can do for him. Like, his true colours were just repressed until, like you said, BOOM. He did the same with us as viewers/June in S1. I know I was like, “Hmm, this guy doesn’t seem THAT bad. Maybe he’s not all bad.” But nope. Jokes on me. Cos deep down he’s gross and just covers it up really well. I don’t believe he was the entire force behind Serena and I don’t believe he groomed her to any particularly high degree cos I have to admit, that Serena was awful all her on her own. She didn’t need Fred to have terrible ideas, especially like after she was shot and basically implied that Fred needs to go above the law and murder a bunch of people. How very Lady Macbeth of her.

(Yep. Schflay and Tammy Faye Bakker (in the book).)

>> “I had a flashback of this "promise" and I was like, "Is this what you meant, BITCH?" Does she have Alzheimer's or what?“

RIGHT?! I just........ gah. *SHUDDER*

>> “Ugh, and that quote he used about "all women"?”

Again, yes. It was just so gross. I hate him so much, lol. And I mean, it was some decent foreshadowing towards what he was about to do to his wife. It’s a hint that now, there’s no real boundary between women to him anymore. All of them are scum... except for his gross fetish for June. (Which doesn’t mean he doesn’t hate her just as much.)

I kinda love how delusional Serena is, and how June, by the end is just like, “Okay, you dumb bitch. Obviously this isn’t sinking in, so how about I appeal directly to this crazy delusion you have? I know I won’t win by fighting you on it, so let’s gently manipulate you instead.” I saw a lot of criticism of Serena about how she’s a shitty mother etc etc. and I’m like, “Really?”. Putting aside the baby-napping in order to achieve “motherhood”... It was shitty to keep June away and not let her wean (cos that is for the BABY’S WELLBEING, stupid Serena.) but otherwise, I didn’t see her being a bad mother. Sure, she got frustrated but that is completely normal? I saw a lot of outrage about how she dealt with Nicole’s colic-y crying... but I have to assume it’s from people who have never had babies for more than a few hours. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows 24-7. It’s stressful, frustrating, annoying, aggravating, etc. at times and it’s completely normal for new mothers to get overwhelmed and really fucking stressed out. It doesn’t mean they’re going to beat the shit out of their children.

I saw one complaint that Serena has no patience and therefore will abuse her baby. And... like... Firstly, a new mother getting stressed af about a baby crying and being helpless/ignorant about how to stop it is not abnormal. Secondly, nobody--NOBODY--grows plants from seedlings without extreme patience (I should know. I tried and I’m super impatient and hated it and killed everything lol). Serena’s gardening takes incredible patience. So, imo, to say outright that she has zero patience is just patently false. Will that patience translate to a real human baby, well, that’s not clear but people really love just hating on Serena for absolutely everything. (Personally, I think her actual talents are purposely dismissed by fandom cos it doesn’t fit in. I can’t remember the episode (S1 probs) but there’s a painting/drawing she’s doing and I was like, “WTF? That’s awesome! What’s up with this multi-talented, artistic maniac?”) She’s an excellent writer, strong orator, talented artist and skilled gardener, and who knows what else. I think it irritates people that such a smart, skillful woman is so vile in some many other ways. It’s easier to dismiss someone if they have nothing of value to show for themselves.

But the breastfeeding bit was weird af and made me feel weird to see. (It reminded me of a Family Guy scene and that made it 10000 times worse lol. Mostly cos I hate Family Guy haha) But I think it needed to happen 100% for Serena to have the delusion broken down. Like, you are NOT her natural mother and YOU must accept this if you actually love “your” stolen daughter and want the best for her.

And I think by the final scene with the 3 of them, June specifically appealed to Serena as a mother, not as an enemy or even a crazy lady. Letting Serena say goodbye was such a crazy level of trust in Serena. I’m not sure I would have, lol. It was a HUGE risk but it paid off.

I think, by now, a lot of Serena’s extreme views can be shifted... but that one about Nicole being “her” daughter seems very much ingrained permanently, on an emotional level anyway. Rationally, I’m pretty sure she’s aware. (Maybe I’m wrong but it seems like, even for June, it’s just a given that Serena’s gonna believe that no matter what so why bother throwing a tantrum about it.)

#Anonymous

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darlingbudsofrae · 3 years ago

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**Remember when I said I don’t really have a lot on my drafts? Yeah LOL here we are (this has lowkey been stuck on my drafts for i dunno know how long sksks)

Did I ever greet you happy birthday on one of the two other posts? Look at us having three separate conversations- I’m proud LMAO belated happy birthday hubbyyyyy (now im craving for sum pasta sksks)

We are total goals LMAO

Wait what- but who would I cry over Asheji with?? T^T my friend was mean, she recommended reading the manga after the anime and I am just so broken maybe we’ll be ghost buddies

That is such a weird coincidence because I also have fear of deep waters! Altho I don’t think it qualifies as thalassophobia cuz it’s this stuff where I’m okay in the waters but right after I literally can’t sleep. For days. My ADHD mind just keeps imagining the bed as the ocean and it’s just bad- beaches aren’t really my thing LOL

I went thru the same withdrawal LMAO there aren’t really a lot of DaiHaru fics out there, I settled for the fanarts instead sksks is it bad that I’m rewatching the SK8 dub for like the 1234 time? I’m blaming this to you, BTW LOL jk altho now I do want to start TGCF cuz you say it’s funny, sad, and adorable and I love funny, sad, and adorable LOL (and also gay- gay god and gay demon yes)

I’m reading this isekai novel tho rn actually, it’s about this girl who got transported into a romance novel but instead of getting her lame HEA with a guy, someone hijacked the story so instead she gets to fight zombies with a bunch of girl classmates/extras and it is just so fun!

Wait- was that the first episode? LMAO me too, with that card- I can buy all the books in the world I want. In hardbacks. Also I can lowkey buy every Haikyuu varsity uniform out there, I only have Fukorodani’s cuz I was contemplating on Aoba Josai’s but Akaashi was just too pretty I had to-

I knowwwww- he looks so tamed and cute and even if he can buy his ass out of every situation, I still want to protect him at all costs grrr

I usually see them on Pinterest and Tumblr (which is why I often go here sometimes LOL) but I did used to read from illegal websites but most of the stuff there were too explicit altho now I use J-comi cuz I’m trying to learn Japanese LOL

I haven’t actually checked out any fanfics yet, surprisingly- I’m actually on a Haikyuu binge in terms of fanfics sksks I’ll have that bookmarked!

Your word is law and valid of course I’ll listen LMAO I think the last time I saw a dubbed anime I think was Ouran Host High School Club

I’m also trying to finish RTC because I have the spin off series ahhh also I recently finished the second book and Ronan is literally Andrew on a different font ahhh (altho I do like Andrew better? but also I really like Ronan)

It’s part of a series, and I thought I should finish it all since I already invested way too much time and money on it (and this is why we don’t bulk on series LMAO) it was soooo bad like I can’t even-

I miss RWRB- the adaptation would probably come and wreck me (hopefully, it doesn’t have limited budget cuz it needs to be GRAND cuz) yes yes it is sooooo good (altho all my friends who read it for RWRB surprisingly didn’t like it LOL altho I am still dazed)

LMAO not sure if I asked, but have you read the light novel? I heard that it was weird and far from the anime so I didn’t really bothered LOL

Oh wow, I don’t really catch up on him that much outside books (except for the rare occasions of seeing his posts about calling homophobic parents off) I didn’t know he said all that stuff! Frankly, I don’t really subscribe to the idea of authors adding “canon” stuff outside of the books (I learned that lesson the easy way from she who shall not be named and is also a massive TERF), I think the text within the books should be able to support the characters and all that, although it’s fun reading stuff like that every now and then (the only ec I actually read from Nora was Allison’s joining the foxes and it was awesome). The things RR added tho, that’s kind of messed up eek :/

I slugged thru TOA just so I can say I completed the Riordanverse so you’re doing fine LMAO YES MALEX IS JUST-

I OPEN MY LAPTOP EVERY SINGLE DAY BEFORE OL CLASS FEELING AS VALIDATED AS EVER

WHO DOESN’T LOVE BOKUTO? I WILL FIGHT ALSO EVERYTIME I WATCH HAIKYUU I JUST REALLY WANT KENMA TO BE HAPPY LOL

You are- I still can’t convince him to read AFTG LMAO

I think it’s my connection but it won’t play T^T I’ll try to watch it later again LOL srsly tho, you sharing golden contents like this is such a blessing <333 like I don’t use TikTok so I usually miss out on gems like this unless it’s posted on another site I use or sum LOL I’m glad we’re married sksks

I’m pretty sure you’ve eaten your pasta days by now but happy eating LMAO

(and happy reading~)

ILY too, wishing you kinder days <333

YES HARU!! HE’S JUST CUTE NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES LOL

I just love their dynamic so much

I also lowkey almost forgot about that guy LMAO

The Foxes as Haikyuu!! Characters

Because both series are gay af and I love them (also, this actually started out as a Karasuno-Foxes thing but like 70% of them got Tsukki and so I expanded)

#1. DAN WILDS - Daichi Sawamura (Karasuno)

I mean, it’s kind of obvious.

They’re both captains (also their numbers are both number 1)

Dan is passionate and gets the team to get their shit together. She’s the first female captain in NCAA Class I Exy in history and got a lot of shit for it because that’s just a given in being in a team such as the foxes.

She fought tooth and nail for that team, and believed in it when everyone thought they were nothing but lost causes.

Daichi is also the captain of a team no one else believes in. Karasuno is often referred to as “the flightless birds” or “the fallen champions”.

Despite that, Daichi tried to whip the team together and is very much passionate about the team, regardless of anyone who told him they’re never going to make it.

#2. KEVIN DAY - Oikawa Tooru (Aoba Josai)

Kevin is actually pretty tricky because I have three other characters perfect for him.

But I settled for Oikawa because you can never go wrong with Oikawa.

Anyway, Kevin is an exy superstar and pretty much has fangirls going on for him, which is also the same case as Oikawa who’s also kind of a star (?) who was sought by different schools for his genius in volleyball.

Not to mention, Oikawa has a crazy flock of fangirls and gets interviewed almost every time whether their team wins or lose.

Also, it’s pretty funny because while Kevin is this great son of exy, the foxes mostly snaps at him and tells him to shut up a lot.

That’s pretty much the case with Oikawa and Aoba Josai.

Also, you can never not love Oikawa Tooru, just like how you can’t hate on Kevin Day. If you do, you’re wrong and we have some talking to do.

#3. ANDREW MINYARD - Kenma Kozume (Nekoma)

I actually have a lot of options for Andrew. If Kevin had three, Andrew surprisingly had freaking six. I definitely did not expect that.

But I’m sticking with Kenma for obvious reasons.

Andrew is great at Exy. Without effort? He plays well. With effort? He’s god-like. He’s just that talented it’s insane and infuriating.

Kenma is the same- his performance just increases depending on the effort he pulls.

Plus, like how Andrew doesn’t “care” for exy, Kenma doesn’t “care” about volleyball.

Kenma is cat-like, if that makes sense. Andrew reminds me of a cat.

They’re both smol and adorable beans.

Also, they both hate human interaction

Plus they’re both fascinated with gingers who are obsessed with sports they don’t care about way too much (Hinata for Kenma, and Neil for Andrew (I mean, who else is there??))

#4. MATT BOYD - Koshi Sugawara (Karasuno)

I can’t really see Matt as anyone else, really.

They both have that nurturing nature within them.

Like they’re the gentlest. Enough said.

BUT they can also be playful (?) like with Suga letting Hinata off with his crazy antics and Matt totally spoiling Neil.

Plus, Sugamama and Sawapapa = Matt and Dan

#5. AARON MINYARD - Osamu Miya (Inarizaki)

I was actually reminded of Osamu when I was reading Twinyards on AFTG.

I mean, Aaron is considered the “normal” twin.

Same with Osamu.

Because their twins gets more attention, they’re kind of not appreciated enough (?)

Like Aaron is hella smart and he can play good.

I mean he’s majoring in biochem (I took a subject on that one once and the exams were literally the definition of pain and agony- never again) and assumably passing while playing exy- that is amazing.

I believe in Aaron Minyard supremacy.

Osamu is a great player and is pretty smart on his own but Atsumu is known as Japan’s best high school setter so that kinda gets all the spotlight.

What I mean to say is that they are both the “normal” twins.

And they’re underappreciated a lot.

Also both would lowkey kill for their twin brothers even if they act/show that they hate said twin brothers.

I mean, Aaron literally killed for Andrew and while there was no killing that took place in DIECHI Haikyuu!!, I’m pretty sure Osamu would totally do the same for Atsumu.

#6. SETH GORDON - Suguru Daisho (Nohebi)

Both Suguru and Seth are actually capable players.

But they have very crude personality and say the lousiest things.

Although Seth didn’t had that redemption Suguru did (because he dead) (but I mean, did Suguru even got a redemption arc? He was still lousy but more controlled in the end, tamed excellently by his girlfriend).

They’re both not really bad guys. Just have some issues here and there but not so bad that a little character redemption arc can’t fix (except Seth is dead and unless we’re adding fantasy and paranormal to the mix, we’re not getting any of that obvi)

I don’t know what else to say but both these guys only appeared like 30% of the series.

#7. ALLISON REYNOLDS - Rintaro Suna (Inarizaki)

I had a hard time trying to fit Allison into anyone. She’s too gorgeous and amazing, okay?

But I decided on Suna cuz he fine.

They’re both fine players who also gossip and pretty much know anything about anyone.

Also, they both have good instincts and intuitions.

Not to mention they’re just both very pretty and I’m a total sap for them.

#8. NICKY HEMMICK - Taketora Yamamoto (Nekoma)

You’d argue Tanaka but Nicky totally gives Taketora energy.

They’re both major simps.

No that’s it, JK I’m messing.

Anyway, they’re also both very honest and friendly.

And while they don’t play as well as the other members of the team, they can take a stand and are willing to learn.

Plus they have the tendency to take anyone in, no questions asked.

#9. RENEE WALKER - Asahi Azumane (Karasuno)

If Renee is a goddamn angel then Asahi is freaking Jesus.

They’re just the kindest characters in the series okay? No questions asked.

Like no one can hate them.

Asahi also gets mistaken as a bad person when really he is a good person just because he’s big and looks kind of scary.

But Renee, often looked upon as a good person, is an ex-gangster who found religion. This girl can kill and people often overlook that.

She’s a bad person trying to be a good person (that line’s going to my grave)

They just parallel okayy

#10. NEIL JOSTEN - Hinata Shoto (Karasuno)

Neil is the most difficult to fit into, really.

It took me like in a middle of typing for another character when I realized how stupid I was to not think of him as Hinata.

Because Neil is obviously Hinata.

For one, they’re both smol gingers.

But also their passion for their respective sports is massive that it borderline crosses stupidity.

I mean Aaron whacked someone dead with Neil’s racket and all Neil was thinking was if he could have said racket back.

And Hinata is obsessed with volleyball. Like Haikyuu!! wouldn’t even exist if Hinata wasn’t so obsessed of it and just listened to everyone that he’s too smol to play.

Like how there wouldn’t be AFTG if Neil listened to his mother and ignored his obsession with exy.

They tend to be so passionate that most of the times they ignore logic because it’s their sport, okay? It’s their world.

Also, Hinata tends to gravitate anyone towards him. Like every single character he meets tend to adore him and take him under their wing and just care for him.

He’s a pocketful of sunshine.

Now, Neil might not be a ray of sunshine but he does tend to have the same effect.

Everyone feels the need to protect this boy and if you don’t, there’s something wrong with you. I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules.

They’re just precious and deserves to be protected and loved for at all costs.

Plus, they’re both sassy af.

#i started this at like 930ish and ended on 11??#11?!?!#huh lol

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