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theepisceswriter · 3 years ago

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𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃'𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍, 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃'𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 — Gojo Satoru

♡ Synopsis: The rise and downfall of Gojo’s relationship with a stripper as told through pivotal moments from their relationship. ♡ A/N: If you see any typos, no you don’t. But I’m so glad to finally get this out here because I haven’t written anything in such a looonngg time, I’m so happy I finally have the muse. I went kind of overboard with creativity and words, but I hope you guys still enjoy ! Thanks to everyone who helped me proofread the first part btw!! ♡ WC: Listen, its 7.1k and Grammarly tells me it’ll take about 28 mins to read. ♡ TW: she/her pronouns, and afab body parts, infidelity, car sex, asshole Gojo at the end *sigh*, angst, heartbreak, fluff, 18 plus so MDNI !

The smell of expensive cigars, cheap party liquor, and aromatic scents of what was assumed to be weed-filled Gojo’s nostrils the moment that he stepped foot inside of the popular club that was filled to the brim with a sea of people. For good reason he would assume, Geto couldn’t stop rambling to him about how it was his favorite and the best in the whole city, claims that were shockingly backed up by Nanami in one of the many conversations he had brought up the local spot in. It was his bragging that had ultimately led him here after finally finding time to squeeze in some personal time in his erratic busy schedule. He had been working day and night for months on end it seemed, he was fucking exhausted and so close to calling this night out with Geto off, but he decided in the end that a little relaxation was indeed what he needed.

“The dancers here are gorgeous and fucking great at what they do. They don’t strip any of their clothes off at all, but they still have the same energy to them that'll make your dick stand tall!” Geto continued as he led Gojo over to a section of the club designated just for them with the clearest view of the stage in all of the club. Only a regular like Geto could truly have access to a gem like this, Gojo thought quietly in his head.

Compared to the other clubs Gojo had briefly explored in the city this one was the most lavish out of them all. The seats were decorated with a soft deep red plush velvet material that just screamed expensive and the venue glittered constantly from the Swarovski crystals that bedazzled every other piece of furniture. Even the waitresses were dressed in carefully threaded themed costumes that all matched each other and stood out in the sea of people that crowded the floor.

Wandering eyes eventually made their way to the stage when the beats of trap drums and hip hop instrumentals breached his eardrums. Even though the lights dimmed, the club still sparkled from not just the crystals now, but the costumes of the dancers that slowly made their way on the stage.

Glancing over at his companion momentarily, he could tell from the way his pupils had dilated and how he was quite literally on the edge of his seat that his counterpart was enjoying himself already, and the dancing had barely just begun. He wishes he could say the same for himself, but even as his eyes moved back to the stage midway through the show he found himself not as immersed as his tag along was.

Sure, the women were beautiful, but nothing he hadn’t seen wrapped up in his sheets before after one night stands.

Slouching back into his chair and spreading his legs wide to make himself comfortable, he found himself reaching over for a shot glass that was placed on the small coffee table beside it. An uncharacteristic move on his end since he didn’t even enjoy the taste of alcohol, but anything to get him through this. His face scrunched up in disgust at the bitter taste and by the time he directed his attention back to the stage a whole new set of dancers were on a new routine.

A group of dancers that included you.

He was star-struck immediately by the beauty he had just laid his eyes upon, brown skin glistening with the reflection of sweat and crystals that reflected off of the pole you worked so graciously and flowed on like water. You stood out greatly amongst the sea of average-looking faces surrounding you. Your features were sharp and dripping with beauty, enough to challenge the prettiest of faces that graced magazine covers, and don’t get him started on how your eyes were slightly slanted downwards giving you the appearance of permanent bedroom eyes. And even though your lips were painted with a deep plum color that hid the contours of your lips, he could still tell that they were plump and probably the softest pair of lips in the world he would feel.

He was already plotting on you, truly enamored by your beauty.

And just when he thought you couldn’t get any more perfect? His eyes trailed each curve of your body with each contort of your limbs you did with each swing around the pole.

And oh my, you had the body of a dancer who worked long hours perfecting her craft. The costume you wore complimented your curves amazingly. It looked as if it had been molded just for you, poured onto you actually, and held your breasts up at a perky angle that caught his attention with each bounce they made.

For a moment your dazzling eyes looked up at the VIP section he was currently sitting in, something you did every night to see who occupied it this time, and he swore that you two locked eyes for a split second. His suspicion was only confirmed when you sent a sly smirk and quick wink his way, making his stomach churn in an indescribable way that felt so good. It felt right.

Gojo didn’t even realize that he was now sitting attentively at the edge of his seat in the same fashion that he was making fun of Geto for earlier. All his attention was on every single inch of your body, watching how your hips moved flawlessly to the music and how you gyrated so easily in a silver latex costume that looked like it was air-tight against your skin.

“They��re amazing, aren’t they?” The raven-haired man leaned over to ask Gojo as the performance came to an end, each dancer blowing a kiss to the audience as they exited. His heart fluttered as he watched you blow yours and disappear backstage to what he assumed to be a dressing room of some sort.

“Just amazing.” He let out in a breathless huff, referring to you and you only in his mind with his statement. “I’ll be right back, yeah?” He made no effort to come up with an excuse to present to Geto before he was rushing out of his seat down to the main area of the club, silently cursing himself in his head for not sitting closer to the stage so he could not only tip you but take your beauty in more.

The crowdedness of the main floor did not stop him from his journey of finding the gorgeous dancer that had stolen his eyes, images of your soft brown skin and supple thighs flooding his mind as he pushed through the slouchy drunken people and even stepped over a few unconscious bodies to make his way backstage.

He wasted no time in knocking on the door that led to the locker room, eager to introduce himself to you, positive that he would sweep you off your feet. He even took a couple of seconds to fix his hair, button-up shirt, and posture to seem more presentable before you came face to face with him.

"Yes?" Slowly the door creaks open to just a slit and a dancer pokes her head out to greet him, or more so question his presence. It wasn't the same one that had captivated him earlier. She was pretty too and her long white hair was something to gawk at alone, but not the one he had come for. His eyes wandered as he tried to come up with an excuse, but luckily it doesn't take long for his eyes to find those honey-brown ones once more.

It was a pleasant shock to see him apply effort to see you, but you hid that emotion in return for a smile to be sent his way. Which he graciously accepted with one of his own, heart-melting in his chest at the sight of your pearly whites up close. You were perfect and free of flaws in his eyes like someone had painted you, truly a sight for sore eyes.

The feeling of his heart-melting in his chest quickly became rapid beating once his mind processed that he was right here in front of you, about to ask you out at that. Surely someone as beautiful as you had men and women alike flocking at your feet, but he was supposed to care less about that. He was Gojo the playboy, a ladies’ man, for crying out loud but something about watching you stand up from your vanity and strut over to the door so effortlessly left him frozen in his position. Not to mention the slit in your robe that showed off just a tease of your thighs that had his mind wandering into the most lustful parts of his mind. Of course, it had to be you out of all people to have this effect on him.

“I think he’s here for me. I’ll take it from here, Mei Mei.” Your words left your lips so softly and every syllable that hit Gojo’s ears felt like pure silk. He could listen to you talk for hours on end, why did everything about you have to be so perfect?

Your face was bare and from the makeup band that surrounded the edges of your hair, he could tell that you were most likely in the middle of completing a skincare routine, probably the reason your melanated skin shined so effortlessly the way it did. If he thought you were good-looking earlier then he most definitely thought you were gorgeous now, especially up close when he can now study every nook and cranny of your delightful face. You didn’t even look like you had danced the routine that you did, sweat hardly visible on your forehead being the only indicator.

“I’m assuming you’re here to see me, no?” You speak up after getting no response for a while, Gojo in a trance-like stance for a minute before he finally came to his senses.

Clearing his throat and puffing out the collar of his button-up once more, Gojo turned on his charmer mode and leaned adjacent on the doorframe, pushing his glasses down slightly so you could catch sight of his baby blues. "You'd be assuming correctly, mi amour." He stated confidently, voice as deep and seductive as it could get.

From the look that crossed your features, showing that you were more amused than you were impressed, he could tell his first attempt had failed greatly, but that was okay. He’d come up with ten different pickup lines if it meant he had even the slimmest chance to woo you over with one.

"That one didn't work too well, eh? That's cool. I have plenty more I can try out on you." Hands going up in defense Gojo purses his lips together and shrugs his shoulders in a manner that a boxer would to warm up for a match, causing the sweetest laughter he had ever heard in his life to penetrate his ear drums. Only encouraging him more.

“Alright, alright, alright,” Standing up straight this time he cleared his throat, put on his best smirk, and flashed a pair of hooded eyes that he knew you wouldn’t be able to resist. "Hey darling, how are you doing on this great afternoon? Names Gojo and I couldn't help but notice you on stage as you danced oh so beautifully. What's your name, pretty? I would really like to get to know you better.”

“Okay, okay I see you! Much better!” You gleam with a smile and chuckle, clapping your hands to applaud his attempt. “I am doing wonderful this evening, Gojo,” Even the way you said his name had him hooked to you, listening carefully to each syllable that left her lips, “And I think your prize for the night is knowing my name: It’s y/n.”

“Y/n, y/n, y/n.” He repeats not only to help him remember, but liking the way your name rolled off of his tongue as well. “A beautiful name fit for the goddess of a woman you are.” He winks.

“Well, y/n, I was wondering if you would like to join me for a late night dinner at a diner not too far from here? My treat, of course.”

The white haired man took a quick glance over at the VIP section and was greeted with the sight of Geto surrounded by multiple women, one even sitting in Gojo’s seat while making conversation with him. No doubt in mind that he'd be face down in pussy by the end of the night and Gojo wouldn’t even cross his mind once. He looked back over at you just in time to see you nod your head in confirmation and this time he allowed a toothy smile to take over his features, though his smile never had truly left his face throughout the night.

"A waffle dinner does sound fantastic right now. Just let me change really quick, yeah?"

Although he appeared nothing more than simply pleased by your agreement on the outside, on the inside he was screaming at the top of his lungs and jumping around with glee. "Sure thing, baby." He told you with the wink of an eye. A smirk now on his lips seeing how the pet name caused a slight blush to your cheeks.

"Meet me outside by the VIP parking area. I’ll be waiting outside of my car for you." His head tweaked over in the direction of the parking lot to show where he would be waiting and he proceeded to make his way over there soon after, allowing you time to get ready as quickly as possible. Already missing your presence the moment he stepped foot outside of the club

And as promised he was right there leaned up against the passenger side of his white model X Tesla waiting for you to make your appearance. The color was a direct contrast to his hair, more cream colored than it was white and you could tell he had custom work done on it because it looked more prestigious and updated than the other ones you had seen customers pull up in. If he would’ve told you that Elon himself had given it to him you probably would’ve believed him.

You didn’t come dressed out in anything special, simply a cropped white tank top and brown sweatpants that you showed up to work in paired with a black zip up hoodie that protected you from the harsh coldness that was slowly creeping in. Your hair was pinned back with a clip messily and even at what you assumed to be your most basic, Gojo still found stunning.

“Just when I thought you couldn’t get any prettier.” The compliment falls from his lips naturally and with a smile he opens the passenger door for you to get inside, which you do with haste. Your time with him had barely begun and you were already getting spoiled, memories of not having to open a door for yourself found nowhere in your mind.

The drive to the diner was filled mostly with music on shuffle rather than small talk, the two of you simultaneously agreeing in your heads to save it for the diner rather than spending it on a 17 minute drive. The fear of running out of things to talk to plagued the both of you. The last thing you wanted was to make these interactions between the two of you awkward and lose the connection that you could feel the two of you developing, but the two of you found conversation to come easy once the two of you had settled in the diner. Conversation flowed between the two of you like you were old friends reconnecting with each other rather than strangers, and of course with the occasional compliment thrown in there by Gojo.

By the end of the night it felt as if the two of you had jumped from strangers to acquaintances to a blurred line between friend and romantic partner. You felt close and secure enough to entrust him with the address of your apartment building to drop you off and like the gentleman he was he even walked you to your front door to ensure your safety.

“I had an amazing time tonight, Gojo.” You didn’t want this rendezvous to end just yet, leaning up against the doorframe of your opened front door, doing your best to drag out this departure longer than it needed to be.

“And I hope we can have plenty more like this in the future,” he starts off, “More lavish dinners and dates fit for a queen like you, of course.” He leans in just a bit and places his arms on the ledge of the frame so he can hover his body over yours at an angle, enjoying the way you had to adjust your body to look up at him.

Sleepiness was prevalent in both of your eyes, it was well off into the twilight hours of the day afterall, but this newfound intimacy between the two of you pushed your shared grogginess to the side momentarily.

You just know from deciphering him all night long that his next move was going to be a swoop in for a kiss. Which is exactly why you stood still when you felt his long limbs move to the dip of your hips and pull your body closer to his to where there was a gap small enough for him to close with his lips on yours.

He gently grabs your face with his dominant hand and caresses your cheek with his thumb lightly, pulling your soft lips even closer against his as he lets out a guttural groan. It sent sparks through the two of you, the electric feeling of mutual attraction so exhilarating for you both. If it weren’t for the teaser in you, you could’ve stayed here in Gojo’s warm embrace for hours with his thumb outlining your jawline, but ultimately you decided to pull away with a smug smirk when you felt his hands sliding further down your hips.

You caught his hands at the border separating your thighs from your ass and brought his hands up to your lips to send off with gentle kisses before letting them fall back to his side. “Goodnight, dear. Sleep well tonight.” You whispered in his ear, pulling away from underneath his build, and disappearing with a wave inside of your apartment.

He had to have more of you, he made it his mission for you to be his and no one else's.

Visiting your job and watching you dance on the nights you performed and hanging out with you afterward started becoming a recurring tradition in his weekly schedule. No matter what he had to take care of he made sure he was in that VIP section front and center at least once a week to see you, every time after the first remembering to bring you big tips that would have you set for the rest of the week alone.

Money wasn’t the only thing that came in his presence. Your closest was flooded with the best threads that you could find in town, some pieces even imported, and it wasn’t until designer bags started showing up on your porch that you became a fanatic for them.

He even started going out of his way to show up to your practices to bring you food, water, and whatever else you requested. His presence was becoming such an overwhelming force in your life in such a short span of time that even your fellow colleagues all knew him by name now.

“Let me take you out.” He proposed through a mouthful of ramen during one of his many lunch visits to you.

Looking over at him in confusion, you raised your eyebrow and let out a little ‘hm?’ to now vocalize your confusion. You allowed your food to disappear from your mouth before you replied to him, “We’ve been out plenty of times before, Gojo. We’re out right now, actually and see each other like twice a week.”

“No, no, no. Let me take you out on a real date. Black tie affair, fancy restaurant, and all that jazz. “ He reiterates, a toothy grin on his face that makes his eyes disappear into his smile. “How about tonight? A few hours after you get done with practice to give you time to get ready?” He asks, “If that’s not too much for you.” He quickly adds on afterwards, your well being always in the back of his mind.

You had no plans for later on in the day like usual, usually spending that time to rest your body after a long day of dancing, but one night out couldn’t hurt you too much or throw you off track. You were too resilient after being in an industry like stripping for years and Gojo would never allow you to overwork yourself, that you knew with a certainty.

“Okay, date night tonight it is.” Though there was never a doubt in either of your minds that you would’ve declined his offer.

“Perfect!” He beams with that same larger than life smile still on his face. “Don’t worry about anything except being ready at 8:30pm on the dot.”

It was a battle between you and your wardrobe trying to figure out what to wear. Besides being on stage dancing, Gojo had never really seen you dressed up or in anything that wasn’t basic streetwear or bedazzled costumes. You wanted that same appeal that attracted him to you in the first place, but while keeping it classy and not too overwhelming at the same time. Which is why you decided to go with a black turtleneck dress, one of your many gifts from Gojo, that had a slit that stopped just right beneath your underwear line. You paired it with some simplistic gold jewelry, a leather black bag, and some white pumps to finish off the look.

You stared in the mirror not subconscious about the way you looked or anything, but the complete opposite; taking in how beautiful you looked while adding some final touches to your curls that you decided to let be wild on top of your head for tonight.

It was the sound of your doorbell ringing that told you it was most likely already 8:30, so you strided over to the entrance with confidence and opened it; met with the sight of your handsome date holding beautiful bright red roses in his hands.

Gojo was done up nicely, but when was he never? He wore a silky ocean blue button up that complimented his eyes nicely with black slacks, YSL loafers, and even traded in his dark shaded glasses for rectangular opaque ones that sat at the bridge of his nose.

“For you, my beautiful date.” And with that he bowed slightly. Like he was thankful for just being in your presence, and once he straightened his body back up he was stretching out his arms to hand you the roses.

Taking a couple steps closer to him you gladly accepted the roses from him with a quick thank you and peck on his lips. You hurried to put them away in a vase, that was also a gift from Gojo because flowers were a common occurrence with him, and you swore you felt his eyes on your body from the time you walked away to put the flowers away to the time it took for you to stride back over to him.

“Shall we?” He extended his arm out for you to take hold of and you did so like he expected of you.

“We shall,” You flashed your pearly whites over in his direction, “Lead the way.”

The restaurant was truly a gorgeous sight for you to bestow your eyes upon once you were inside. The interior was beautiful, something straight out of those luxurious interior instagram pages you spent so many hours scrolling through before. Crystalled chandeliers hung from the ceiling that gave the restaurant a nice white glow, the furniture had a crisp black modern style to them, and the table tops were a sleek marble design that was shiny enough for you to make out your reflection in it.

You felt like you were intertwined with the cream of the crop of society, a dining experience like this far more luxurious than anything else you had experienced and it was all for you to just sit back and enjoy, Gojo took care of everything for you. Because, in his words verbatim, “As hardworking as you are? You deserve it all and more. You deserved to get spoiled and treated right.”

While the food took a few minutes of staring at it, poking around, and inquiring the waiter what exactly it was while Gojo giggled in the background, it was delicious and presented just as beautifully to you like the rest of the establishment was. The date was filled with a lot of talking, laughing, and reminiscing on the few months the two of you had been intertwined with each other. Any outsider looking in would be quick to assume that the two of you had known each other much longer than just a couple of months, maybe even paint you two as a married couple well into a number of anniversaries the way you looked at him with such a loving gaze; like he was the center of your world. Which in this moment, he was.

You were comfortable around him. And you didn’t know if it was the two glasses of Moet being absorbed by your system or the string intimacy that had been prevalent between you two the whole night, but you found the ball of your feet gently massaging his leg underneath the table. Whether you were doing it on purpose or not, it got a reaction out of Gojo.

You could visibly see his body tense underneath the thin fabric of his shirt and you watched as he took a peak underneath the table, a choked breath escaping his lips, before he looked back up at you with hooded eyes.

Reaching over the table he took a hold of your hand and gently began to massage it with the soft pad of his thumb, enjoying the way your face began to warm up and redden slightly.

“Are you drunk?” He inquired, tilting his head to the side.

“You think I’m that much of a lightweight? I’m honestly offended.” If anything? Just a little tipsy.

That’s all the confirmation it took before he was calling for the bill and rushing to get the two of you out of here.

Next thing you knew you were in the front seat of his Model X in some abandoned parking lot. Gojo’s seat was all the way back, as far as it could possibly go, and you were straddling his lap with your dress pooling above your thighs and his hands gripping on to them for dear life.

His shirt was sloppily unbuttoned by you and your hands were in his pillow white hair making a mess out of it while your lips connected in a passionate battle. Not only minted to being on each other’s lips, but moving to other areas such as necks, cheeks, and chest. You were positive that by the end of the night you’d be covered in hickies. Soft R&B music played in the background of your makeout session that was quickly turning into more. You found yourself grinding your hips down into Gojo, getting the surprise of your life when you found he was already hard, but still continuing on in rhythemed 8 figure movements that sent pleasure up both of your spines.

“You’re so fucking needy for me, huh baby? Why didn’t you tell me earlier? I could’ve helped you out way sooner.” His words leave his mouth in an almost growl, large hands grabbing at your ass and moving you against his cock at an angle that positions his clothed length right over your clit.

You moaned into his collarbone and dug your nails into his scalp that left him hissing from a mix of pain and pleasure. He needed you as much as you needed him.

“Finally.” You let out a pant when he pulled you away from his neck so he could peel your dress off of you in one smooth movement. He took a moment to dwell on how perfect and perky your breasts were sitting in the constraints of your bra and only mere inches away from his face. He had seen your body plenty of times and each time he was just as wowed as the last time. Not to mention that this would be the first time he would be seeing it bare in all its glory.

In return your nimble fingers worked quickly on getting his hard cock free from the restraints of his slacks and once you did it practically jumped out at you, swollen pink tip dripping with pre cum and want. Just the feeling of being exposed to the air had the gentleman sucking in a breath.

“I’ll buy you some more.” Was the only warning you got before his hands went to your underwear and ripped them off for quick access, too impatient to wait a couple more seconds for you to remove them yourself.

Before you could even react, the pads of his fingers came forward and dipped into the slick that had accumulated between your lips, using that to roll upwards to your clit and roll it between his middle and index finger. “God, you’re this wet already just from kissing me?” You didn’t know if his tone was teasing, praising, or a mix of both but either way you shuddered at the way he knew how to work your body so well already.

“It’s because I’ve been waiting for this so long.” You managed to get out in between broken breaths and moans.

You put your hands on his shoulders for support and watched as he lined his tip up with your entrance, sliding into you with ease from how prepared you were already. You bit down on your lips so hard that it nearly drew blood, he was so girthy that there was a slight sting with the stretch when he thrusted up into you, but it was the kind that felt so good to the point where tears brimmed your eyes.

Gojo’s fingers stayed on your clit as he thrusted up into you, concentrated breaths leaving his lips as he focused on not cumming too fast. You felt that good wrapped around his cock, he knew it would be worth it in the end. Just thrusting up into you at an angle was enough for the two of you already, but you decided to take it up a notch by resuming to the hip movements you were doing earlier, the only difference being that he was inside of you now.

Whimpers and moans filled the atmosphere of the car to the point where the music was drowned out completely and you were sure the car was rocking back and forth from how rough the two of you were going.

“So fucking tight,” the white haired man let out through gritted teeth, head lolling back at the way your soft walls squeezed around him, “You gonna cum already? Cum all over this cock like it's yours.” He edged you on, hand flying through the air and landing on your ass. Hard enough to leave a temporary imprint that was visible even on your mocha colored skin.

Incoherent mumbles were the only thing you could form, losing your train of the thought the quicker your orgasm snuck up to you. Your abdomen felt warm and filled to the brim with pleasure as you picked up the pace of riding Gojo, your face flushed a soft red color. It wasn’t long at all until your cum left a creamy coating at the base of his cock. Him following suit and orgasming soon after you did.

“You’re fucking amazing.” You panted out, collapsing against his broad chest and allowing his arms to engulf your whole torso along with your arms. You both needed a few minutes to collect yourselves, not caring about the mess cum had made on both of your thighs.

“I don’t think I could even put into words how amazing that was.” He fixes a curl thats stuck to the sweat that's formed against your forehead, putting it back into its wild place. He leans in and places a kiss to your lips afterwards, a tenderness that you had never really experienced from him before.

“I can get used to this.”

The two of you got closer than you could’ve ever imagined after that night. You were practically living with each other now, Gojo having designated areas in your apartment and vice versa. Your everyday lives revolved around each other. Though the world boyfriend or girlfriend had yet to be muttered by either of you, you always felt there was no need for that. Your bond was labelless and that was okay with you, because how could you label something was one thing when it was a mix of all of them?

He understood you better than anyone else did and you understood him like the back of your hand. At least you thought you did.

You thought you were the center of his world like he was for you, but obviously you weren’t and it wasn’t until your phone vibrated with several messages from Mei Mei that you realized that.

Mei Mei 💜: 7 attachments

Mei Mei 💜: I’m so sorry, y/n

Mei Mei 💜: I’m here for you if you need me

You hadn’t even clicked on the messages yet, but still the pits of your stomach brewed up a nauseating feeling. You could just feel the bad vibes omitting from what you were about to bear witness to and even though you had a feeling of what this could possibly be, your head did it best to push Gojo from being the one to bring this feeling on you.

Not your beloved, he was all you had. The closest thing to a real relationship you had in years. He was precious to you, please it couldn’t be him. Yet no matter how hard you silently prayed in your head, the moment you clicked on Mei Mei’s iMessage contact you were met with the sight of your Gojo posted up with another woman, a video of the two of them caressing each other with a passion he once had for you.

Your mouth started salivating rapidly, you felt like throwing up, but you forced it back down. One thing you couldn’t force back down though were your tears. You didn’t even notice them brimming in your eyes while watching the video, but the moment you felt the salty duct on your cheek they all started falling like the pounding rain outside. Howls ripping from your throat that burned like hellfire and in that moment you were thankful for the lack of Gojo’s presence. The last thing you needed was for him to see you like this and know that he had been successful in hurting you. And you haven’t even gone through all the other evidence yet, but truth be told you didn’t want to.

Gojo the ladies man, the playboy, had essentially played you even after the numerous times you defended his name behind closed doors in the locker room with your peers.

How could he? How could he go and do something as terrible as this after promising he would never hurt you while you laid in his arms at night? How could he betray you like this after everything? After all the dates, gifts, long talks in the front seat of his tesla that you even started driving like it was your own, etc.

Did you just not see the signs? Were you so lovestruck and oblivious that you were ignorant to his ways? The only thing that could come to mind was how distant he had become with you lately and like a dummy you believed him when he blamed that on the stress of work.

Work doesn’t make you not want to put your hand on the back of your partner’s back while passing them in the kitchen, work doesn’t make that gleam in your eyes go away, and it sure as hell doesn’t make you hardly want to touch them anymore. God, maybe if you really paid attention to these signs you wouldn’t be as hurt as you were right now. You could’ve fixed things or broke it off more peacefully, but what did you do to deserve this in the first place?

You always trusted him and now you know it was stupid to do so.

It was the sound of the rain and wind hitting the window that brought you back to your senses, your howling turning into muffled sobs and eventually it died down altogether to silent tears streaming down your features, the same features he had worshipped time and time again now stained with tears that he brought upon you.

Your eyes shifted to the clock above your stove from your position on the kitchen table, 4:08 it read. 22 more minutes until Gojo was supposed to return home from work, but you didn’t even know if that was where he was truly at. He could’ve been lying to you about that too.

22 minutes gave you enough time for the puffiness and redness to be removed from your face and dry your tears so that by the time the front door was creaking open and lanky limbs were stepping through it your features were now cold. There was no sign of crying, but there was no sign of life either. Yours had just been shattered.

“What are you doing just sitting here? You scared me!” There was an amused smile upon his lips as he made his way closer to you, but it fell once he saw the expression, really lack of expression, that you had on your face. It was uncharacteristic for you and you scoffed at the thought of him at least knowing that much.

“Y/n? Hey, what’s up?”

You bit your lips to hold back sobs as you built up the courage to look him in his face. Those baby blues that you had studied for hours and loved ever since he first revealed them to you, now becoming something you would grow to hate.

“Is it me? Was I not doing enough? You know we could’ve talked it out if you were feeling some type of way, Gojo. I would’ve sat down and listened to you, you could’ve told me you weren’t happy!”

His face contorted into that of confusion and hurt at not only the way you spat his name out, but where all of this was coming from.

“What are you—”

“You hardly touch me anymore,” You purposefully rudely interrupt hi,. “You don’t kiss me, you don’t do any of the little things you used to do anymore. I should’ve seen this coming, I really should’ve, but I was so fucking stupid and trusted you instead.”

“Y/n.” He states more firmly than before, stooping down to your level so you two were eye to eye. “What is this about? What are you even talking about?”

“Don’t act like you have no idea what the fuck I’m talking about,” You bite back, resentment now overtaking your sadness, “Don’t act like you haven’t been cheating on me, treating me like trash!”

You watch him collapse on the side like a house of cards. His eyes darken a little, his shoulders cave in and his head drops slightly. He was caught and hw knew it. You didn’t even have to show the proof that you had to know that it was one hundred percent true, you can’t help but let the tears fall at this point.

“We’re not even official yet, y/n, come on. Don’t be like this.” Ouch, that definitely hurt like a dagger had been viciously stabbed through your heart. Maybe it wasn’t what he meant to say in a moment of panicked emotions, but the fact that it was even a thought or left his lips was enough to hurt.

“Not official? Are you fucking serious? It’s been nearly 7 months that we’ve known each other and you’re telling me we’re not official?” This is exactly what you get for putting your all and barely having the same reciprocated.

“What happened to the Gojo I met at the club that night? The gojo that took me to my first luxury restaurant? The Gojo that held me close one morning until you woke up completely because you were scared that I was going to leave? I miss him, not whoever this is.” You motion with your hand, arms crossing over your chest afterwards.

You can tell it hit a nerve because all of a sudden that sullen demeanor he wore was lifted and maybe if you ever saw him made before you’d recognize it in a heartbeat, but you couldn’t.

“Oh what, like you could be tied down to me and only me? Like you’re not in the line of work that you’re in?” That was the lowest blow he had ever delivered to you and the one that hurt the most. You almost couldn’t believe that he was indeed the one speaking to you like this right now, it couldn’t be your Gojo in front of you right now.

“I think it says more about your character that I stayed faithful and you didn’t, if anything. Even though my line of work doesn’t have shit to do with this, you’re just an asshole!” And with that you rose up from your seat at the table, grabbing your keys and heading out the front door, but a hand behind you pushing it closed put a halt to your plans.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that, fuck! Let’s just talk this out, please y/n.” His pleas fell on deaf ears, you didn’t even turn back around to look him in his eyes. Because you know if you did then you probably would’ve talked it out with him, but you had to be strong and resilient.

“Goodbye, Gojo.” You huffed out, pushing his arm away and disappearing out the front door.

No longer could you look at the view of him you had distorted in your mind and ignore the proof that was in the pudding you refused to eat.

#now its time for me to finally take my nap bc this took FOREVER #jjk x reader #jjk smut #Gojou Satoru #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru smut #gojo satoru x reader #jujustu kaisen fanfic #jujutsu kaisen x black reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujustu kaisen #gojo x black reader #anime x black reader

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will-o-the-witch · 4 years ago

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Heya! I’ve been starting my journey with witchcraft and reading about the vast amount of beliefs and history, and what the people are like within the community. I’ve come across a few blogs and videos of people talking about Wicca and they had very standoffish attitude towards Wiccan beliefs and the people that practice them, it kinda seemed like these people had a collective experience but maybe I just came across negative people, but I was wondering if maybe you’ve ever come across this? And if so why do people feel this way? I hope this isn’t a stupid question it’s just been on my mind ✌️✌️

Not a stupid question at all! There are many Wiccans who are perfectly lovely folks, but lots of people have beef with Wicca as a collective. This might be kind of long in order to explain properly...

Wicca, in the grand scheme of things, is probably one of the most widely-practiced forms of Paganism/Witchcraft in the modern day. It oversaturates the market and is often treated like the only kind of witchcraft there is. The more you start reading books on your journey (welcome, btw!) the more you'll notice the trend of books saying they're for all witches, then only ever being Very Wiccan. Finding truly all-inclusive books is actually very difficult. Because it's the most mainstream it's also where you see the luxurious high-end mystical products being marketed towards high-income white women at prices the rest of us can't afford.

Wicca is also (kind of by design) very palatable to suburban white people. It was formed by a Straight White English Man in the 1950's, and you can smell the imperialist energy on a lot of it still. It believes that all deities from other traditions are simply faces of their own God and Goddess, which is fine if you're Wiccan and kind of offensive if you're not. It creates this "world is my oyster" vibe that doesn't challenge the colonialist attitudes we should all be unlearning, so Wicca is pretty notorious for its cultural appropriation. (To some degree this is baked into the structure, being a grandchild of appropriative ceremonial magick and getting a lot of its "aesthetic" from the same Celtic cultures England tried to consume.) I

Wicca has a strong structural emphasis on the gender binary and splits everything along the line of male vs. female. The Goddess is supposed to be on equal footing (and sometimes even higher) than the God, but a lot of her depictions still focus primarily on her role as a birth giver. (Heck, the three stages of her life are Maiden, Mother, Crone, for goodness sake.) This teeters on the edge of benevolent sexism at the best of times. Some sects like Dianic Wicca are focused almost entirely on the Goddess aspects and end up just being TERF conventions.

Because the structure of all of this is an easy stepping stone into the world of magic in general, Wicca is a "gateway drug" for a lot of people who are disillusioned with Christianity but haven't yet/don't want to unlearn their cultural Christianity. That means many Wiccans are concerned with respectability politics, aren't concerned with cultural appropriation, hold non-Wiccans to Wiccan standards and beliefs (and shame those who don't comply), and will push their faith onto people (aka why so many witches specifically ask not to tell them "Blessed Be" any more.) All of this mixed together does a lot to piss off everybody else.

Now, Wicca is still a fetus of a religion (less than 100 years old) and there are some great people working on the inside to address some of these issues both within themselves and the community, but it's still a major work in progress. In the meantime, lots of people have had very negative experiences with Wiccan people and spaces who exemplify these problems, and are understandably a little distrusting of the whole scene until we start seeing some major change.

#wicca #wiccan #witchcraft #asks

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sybright · 5 years ago

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My Favorite Cats Ships

Okie dokie, @whitmerule wanted to know my main ships/pairings and I knew I’d have to make a post dedicated to this at some point so here it is lol (also sorry this is so long). My “main” universe, which is what all of my main pairings are in, is based on the ‘98 film for the most part (although really all of my universes are based on the ‘98 film, just with alterations here and there).

Edit: My preferences have changed somewhat, so I’ve edited this list to reflect my current feelings towards certain pairings. This means that I’ve deleted some pairings that I don’t like much anymore, and have added some new ones :). All of these ships are in no particular order btw.

Main Pairings:

Tuggoffelees

-I know it’s super popular and there’s loads of content on them, but I still stan. I don’t love them AS much as I used to, but they were my first ship in this fandom, and therefore are still very important to me.

Demebombastrap

-In terms of individual pairings, I really like Demelurina and Bombastrap on their own, but I like them best all together. I used to be quite fond of Demestrap by itself, but I’ve gotten pretty tired of that ship over time personally (obviously nothing against people who like this pairing a lot, kudos to y’all who love Demestrap ^^), so I’m not that big a fan of them on their own anymore. In order of the individual pairings I like best: Demelurina first, Bombastrap second, and Demestrap not so much.

Skimblegus (Skimbleshanks/Asparagus Jr., NOT Gus the theatre cat, I see the two of them as separate characters in most productions).

Jellydots (Sweet lesbian grandmas <3).

Tumblejem

-This is my self-projection asexual pairing, leave me alone lol. They give me bestie vibes and I love that for them <3.

Platoriateazer

-This is a bit of a rarepair, but it is one of my main ships, I see Teazer and Plato as platonic partners and Tori as their mutual gf. Alternatively, I like Victeazer and Platoria on their own as well, although I like Victeazer a bit more than Platoria, but I prefer them all together.

And that’s about it for my “main” pairings, here’s a list of my alternate pairings/rarepairs that I love too much for my own good.

Alternate Pairings/Rarepairs:

Demandra

-No longer my main blog’s url, but they have their own blog now and therefore are still ridiculously important to me XD. This is my fave rarepair, and might also be even MORE of a self-projection asexual pairing for me than they were before. I’ll say it once, this is my ultimate comfort pairing.

Plonzostrap (Plato/Alonzo/Munkustrap, alternatively, I like Alonzostrap and Plonzo on their own as well, although I haven’t put that much thought into Munklato on its own).

Platoricopat (Cats Zurich got me obsessed with this concept, and @whitmerule’s gifs are are just *chef’s kiss*).

George/Etcetera/Electra

-I don’t really have a ship name for this, and also this particular pairing is very complicated and I’ll try to explain it as best I can. George and Etcetera are romantic partners, Etcetera and Electra are queer-platonic partners (I see Electra as aromantic), and George and Electra are platonic partners. This is technically a main pairing for me, but it’s sort of rare and complicated in its dynamics so I put it down here. Also, I adopted the hc that George is a Pollicle btw.

Oh and just as an aside, I also really like Elecctera and Etceorge on their own, but I probably slightly prefer Elecctera, I just love the queer-platonic besties vibes of them <3.

Mungocavity (This is in a scenario where Macavity is less evil and more of a dumbass, but I really like this pairing. It would be one of my main pairings if my main universe Macavity wasn’t complete shit).

Jemtoria

-One of my newer ships, I usually see Tori and Jem as being somewhat far apart in age, so this is in a scenario where Jem’s a bit aged up and Tori’s a bit aged down. I love everything about this pairing. Considering how much Jem and Tori interact with each other in the show, this ship has so much potential to me. They’re just so soft and they make me really happy <3.

Tuggoffeleteazer

-Once upon time I didn’t think I’d ever ship Tugger or Misto with really anyone but each other, but times change. Initially, I got very interested in the idea of Rumpletugger (which I still quite like on it’s own), but then later became intrigued by the idea of Mistoteazer (and all the shenanigans they’d get up to, both being mischievous and chaotic), so of course this led to me just putting all three of them together XD. I love this trio so much, they just give “bestie vibes ONLY” type of energy, and feel like a super chaotic friend group, and that makes me really happy.

Bombbella

-I’m not even sure how to explain what led me to becoming so attached to this ship XD. I had seen people mention it being a neat concept in passing, but I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who actually truly ships them. I basically got into this ship through my “Jellicle leader Griz” au thing, which is an au where Griz is the oldest of Deuteronomy’s children and was expected to become the next Jellicle leader. She’s much younger in this au than how I typically see her, so the newer Griz design fits well in this scenario. I just got really into the idea of Griz and Bomba being tragic ex-lovers.

They dated for a long time in their teens, broke up for a few years, and then got back together again when they had matured, and then Griz went and abandoned the tribe (as well as Bomba) to see the world and pursue her dream of being a star. Griz returned eventually, but the damage had been done, and Bomba was far from ready to forgive her. In the end though, she does forgive Griz, as does everyone else, but then Griz goes on to be reborn, and they miss their chance at happily being together. It’s just all in all a really fun concept for me to play around with, and has so much angst potential.

Jellycass

-Not a new ship, quite the opposite actually. This is a ship that I usually don’t think much about (hence why it wasn’t here when I first made this list), but whenever I do, I always feel at peace inside lol. I can’t for the life of me find the post that got me into this ship (trust me, I have searched ALL over tumblr for it, I looked through both Jellylorum’s and Cassandra’s ENTIRE tags and still couldn’t find it), but I saw a post when I was first getting into the Cats fandom that talked about how Jelly and Cass would be this sort of “odd couple” that the tribe didn’t really understand, but clicked super well with each other for some reason.

Even though I only ever saw that one post on them for a long time, I grew really attached to the ideas it presented for Jellycass. I like the age gap concept in particular, with my personal idea of it being Cass in her late twenties to early thirties, and Jelly being in her late thirties to early forties. It really heightens the “odd couple” energy of them, and I can see Cass getting along really well with someone older. Troika provides me all the rights for this ship <3.

Some Extra Stuff:

Even though I like Platoria as an individual ship, and ship them to a degree, I’m not super interested in them. They’re a bit bland for me if I’m being honest. I like seeing them on my dash, but I won’t actively seek out content of them, so please don’t tag me in stuff surrounding them if you don’t mind (obviously this doesn’t apply to their poly equivalent). I used to include Demestrap in this section, but now I’m really not all that fond of them, I really only like them together in a poly scenario, like Demebombastrap or even Demelonzostrap.

There’s a bunch of ships that I categorize as “I like it, but I don’t ship it,” and that’s where ships like Munkujerrie and Alonzoffelees fall. They’re ships that I enjoy as concepts, and that I would probably read fanfic about if given the opportunity (and like fanart of), but I don’t necessarily ship them. So you don’t need to tag me for them.

The only ships that I just straight up don’t like, although I have nothing against people who like them, are Tuggerlurina, Mistoria, Skimbledots, and Jellygus, Tuggerlurina being the one I dislike the most. I just scroll past content of them if I see it on my dash, I thought I should probably list them here cause idk, might be useful to @whitmerule to know which ships I really don’t like.

Note: I don’t see any of the characters I listed here as being biologically related, some people hc Deme and Bomba as sisters, or Etcetera and Electra as being twins, I don’t see this personally (In fact I have a whole bunch of family hcs that I’ll probably save for another post, if anyone even wants to read that lol).

And now for my favorite 2019 movie pairings (which I also don’t see any of them as being biologically related), because they’re sort of relevant since I’m listing pairings and stuff so I feel like putting them here too:

2019 Movie Main Pairings

Mistoriastraps

-This is the ONLY scenario where I like Misto and Tori together. I only like it when it’s in the 2019 movie, and only if it’s with Munk, those are my two requirements lol. I think Munktoria and Munkoffelees are really cute too, but I don’t care for them that much, I like them best all together.

Demandra (I see their relationship very differently in the movie, and I prefer their stage-show relationship, but as always, I love them).

Tantojerrie

-I know they don’t really interact in the movie, but I saw people talking about them as a ship on here, and I just think they’d be really cute. Technically Tanto is implied to be kitten age in the movie, but I imagine this as a post-movie, next Jellicle Ball type scenario. I see Tanto as being on the cusp of adulthood, where she’ll probably be an adult at the next Jellicle Ball, and I see Jerrie as being a very young adult, so they’re not far apart in my mind (plus I see Jellicles, being cats and all, aging differently than humans, so this isn’t as odd to me as it might be to other people).

2019 Movie Alternate Pairings:

These are just my alternate pairings for Misto, Tori, and Munk if Mistoriastraps doesn’t happen lol:

Tuggoffelees

-I’ve adopted the hc that they’re ex-boyfriends in the 2019 movie, and I like to imagine that they’ve sorted things out post-movie and got back together.

Victeazer

Skimblestrap

That’s about it for my ships. Thank you for reading if you got this far lol.

#my rambles #cats the musical #cats ships #q word mention #cats ships masterpost #long post #cats 2019 #cassmeter #really happy with my current ship list #I've had time to narrow down the pairings that I REALLY like and felt it was time to update this list

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ducavalentinos · 5 years ago

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Bellonci clearly had a nasty and evident hostility towards Cesare and throughout her book there are several moments of her bringing him up only to badmouth him, but this page here, that is right at the beginning, I thought it was the most interesting because is kind of an intro to how she will be presenting Cesare, and it sets up the stage for the bad fratricide telenovela she explores later on. Her claims here doesn’t escape the pattern too much of other works when dealing with Cesare, but that’s also why this page is so interesting, because it’s a good example of how many so-called “facts” about him and his life are only presented as such because they were repeated over and over again, and not because there is any substantial documented evidence behind it. So, she starts by saying: “No one could have had less vocation for the religious life than Cesare Borgia, and he was the first to admit it.” This claim is always present in most Borgia works, but it ends up being misleading because what Bellonci and other scholars considers as having the vocation for the religious life wasn’t much of a thing during Cesare’s time, not on his circle at least, at the Vatican. Having piety didn’t mattered as much as having diplomatic skills, political intelligence and the right connections. These men’s families, wealthy and noble in most cases, put them there to secure and support their interests within the Church. It was to guarantee themselves on both fronts, secular and ecclesiastical, to maintain their power and riches. That actually makes Cesare Borgia the rule and not the exception of the rule.

As for his admittance of his “lack of vocation” it can’t be seen as some definitive proof as Bellonci intends here, because whether he was being genuine or not (we will never know) we can’t ignore the political background of his “admittance”, that being: Rodrigo needed someone he trusted to accomplish his design of: 1. bringing the papal states under the full authority of the Church, and to destroy the Roman barons who were a constant source of trouble for the papacy and the city itself, and 2. to carve out a State for his family like other nobles italian families had done over the centuries. So Cesare’s speech had a very specific and difficult goal to achieve: to convince the cardinals and get the necessary votes so he could resign his cardinalate. It would be naïve to think that this speech, one in which their family’s advancement depended on, wouldn’t have been meticulously prepared by Cesare, alongside others, and with the supervision and approval of Rodrigo beforehand. And there is a some debate and assertions that Cesare forced his father into releasing him from his cardinalate, but there is no evidence for this. If anything Cesare seemed unsure, or at very least cautious about leaving his ecclesiastical life which brought him immense wealth and security, for a secular life where everything was yet to be determined. In any case, his feelings over this would have hardly mattered, the final decision about the family’s matters always came from Rodrigo. To think that Cesare had a voice, a “dark influence” over Rodrigo about these things is to underestimate the power and character of Rodrigo Borgia. He was a loving and generous father, but for that he expected nothing less than full obedience from his children, and he did not liked being contradicted. Cesare didn’t had a voice in these things anymore that Lucrezia, Juan or Gioffre did. If Rodrigo wanted him to stay a cardinal, then he would have stayed a cardinal, if Rodrigo wanted him to leave his cardinalate, then he would leave, whatever benefited their house better. “But after the collapse of the marriage negotiations with King Ferrante of Aragon, his hopes of escaping from the ecclesiastical life evaporated and it looked as if he was prepared to accept the career that his father had planned for him.” Cesare never accepted the career his father planned for him, and that he wanted to escape his ecclesiastic life, but are there any grounds for these claims? In all his years in the Church, there is not one recorded instance of Cesare showing an overwhelmingly distaste or any rebellion towards the career Rodrigo chose for him. And there is nothing, not even anecdotes hinting that he was trying to “escape it.” Taking a look at the administrative and pastoral activity that his vicars developed in their dioceses, demonstrates Cesare exercised his role dutifully and responsibly, and with interest. There is evidence of this intense management from the man he appointed for the headquarters of Pamplona, Martín Zapata. And from Jaume Conill’s pastoral work in the archbishopric of Valencia. There’s even a report from Conill to Cesare from August of 1494 in which he updates Cesare on the increase of confessions and rejoices at the shortage of victims due to the plague. Moreover Cesare wasn’t exactly as faithless as some authors like to claim he was, he had piety. It wasn’t a fervent, fanatical, blind piety, because it didn’t seem to be a trait in his family, from his father to his sister, they all had a pretty interesting and particular relationship with religion, but there’s more than one example where we can see religion was a part of his life also (another topic that needs exploring and maybe I’ll do it later), so there is nothing serious indicating that the ecclesiastical life was so alien, so dreadful for Cesare as that he sought to escape it, as it is assumed by Bellonci and others. Then she says: “What mattered to him most in any career was to avoid servility and mediocrity and to direct his energy towards the immediate acquistion of some position of authority.” I love this bit because I love how she mixes shady, groundless claims along with claims that do have more ground of being true. It’s true that Cesare always seemed to have tried to avoid mediocrity, although that wasn’t exclusive to him, the upbringing of noble children didn’t exactly leave room for mediocrity, it didn’t for Rodrigo Borgia’s children, he gave them the best education money could buy, and I don’t think he would have been satisfied with anything less than excellence from them, which in retrospect could be another reason why his relationship with Joffre wasn’t the same as his relatioship with Lucrezia, Cesare and Juan. As for avoiding servility, it’s actually difficult to ascertain. He doesn’t come across as someone who had an excessive willingness to please others (I don’t think that’s a bad thing btw lol), and maybe he did avoid it. But there’s some evidence that indicates he did enjoyed pleasing others, when possible, esp. those he appreciated it, just not at his and his family’s expense, which wasn’t that different a behavior from the rest of his family. He was generous and overall he seemed to liked being useful to people and to help solve problems. And the acquistion of some position of authority, it’s kinda of strange that Bellonci seemed to think that’s where he directed his energy towards, given that by 1492 right after his father became pope, if we judge by his letter to Piero de’ Medici, Cesare already had a pretty high position of authority, and he was perfectly aware of it. I mean after Rodrigo himself, Cesare was the one who had the most authority to deal any political affairs. Rodrigo trusted and relied on him, he was constantly by father’s side so he was privy to matters few others or no one else was. What Cesare seems to have directed his energy towards was trying to secure himself and his family’s power as much as he could so that when Rodrigo died, he wouldn’t be in a poor situation having to rely on others. It’s an entirely subjective point, we will never know what truly were his plans and feelings, but he doesn’t come across as someone wanting authority for the sake of wanting to have authority over others, nor does he seemed to have wanted power simply because he was power-hungry or something, but because he was painfully aware that all of his wealth and privileges were tied to his father, that power was essential for his survival and well-being, and that it was his responsibility (just as once it had been Rodrigo’s) to advance his family’s glory and perpetuate the legacy of the house of Borja. “Cesare was well aware of the gulf between his aspirations and reality and he had learnt the art of dissumulation. From infancy he had been destined to follow a career to which he knew he was unsuited, just as he knew Juan was ill-suited to his destined career of arms.” Bellonci is going on the premise that there was such a gulf between Cesare’s aspirations and his reality, when honestly there really wasn’t. This is a fabricated notion that comes from a modern perspective that men of the Church are men who are only fit for matters of spirituality, but as I said above, that doesn’t correspond with the reality, not even today, and definitely not in Cesare’s times. Men of the Church were first and foremost politicians and they acted both on spiritual matters as well as secular ones, even commanding armies and going full-on warriors if it was necessary. Bertrand du Pouget is a good example, also Ippolito d’Este, pope Leo IX, pope Clement VII, although he’s seen more as an anti-pope, and of course Della Rovere. Except for marriage, a churchman could do pretty much anything a layman could. Cesare surely knew that, so he wouldn't necessarily have felt this “gulf” between his reality and his aspirations, whatever those might have been, as it is claimed. His “warrior” side could be accommodated just fine within his ecclesiastic role. As for him learning the art of dissimulation, of course he did, as did Lucrezia and Rodrigo. It would a mistake to think they wore their hearts on their sleeves in public. If we’re being honest, any noble that wanted to survive the court they lived in needed a goal deal of dissimulation to go about with their lives. Cesare was no different than any of them on that. And finally, Bellonci has no way of knowing that Cesare from infancy knew he was unsuited for the career Rodrigo chosed for him, much less what he thought about Juan and his career. Bellonci is mostly projecting her own beliefs onto Cesare here and presenting it as a fact. His so-called unsuitablessness is unsubstantiated, apart from him sharing the same small vices his fellow cardinals did, as Alvisi amusingly says here: “Nè gli mancavano i piccoli vizi de’ giovani cardinali, e con loro fuggiva dalla mensa papale cui era convidato, perché vi era servita una sola vivanda. /Nor did he lack the small vices of the young cardinals, and with them he fled the papal table to which he was invited, because only one meal was served there.” And him apparently prefering to dress more as a layman than in his cardinal robes—which could have been for any number of reasons honestly, maybe he didn't liked it, yes, but also maybe it was just because they were more comfortable? esp. during the summer? and drew less attention to him? it's just a big leap to use his apparent dislike for ecclesiastical clothing as proof he hated being a churchman lol—there is surprisingly no scandals, nor accusations of bad behavior during these years of his life. Surely if he was so ill-suited, we would have at least one anecdote like the one about Rodrigo when he was still a cardinal at Siena? There is nothing of the kind. These claims come from a hindsighted stance of events, and it just serves to build up a motivation for the crime that is about to happen, without motivation, you can’t accuse Cesare as the culprit of Juan’s murder, and this personal drama is easier to sell than the simple jealousy over Sancia d’Aragona. “And so, twenty years earlier than most men, he had had to face the reality of a solitary existence, and he experienced either burning ambition or icy pessimism. His rancour doubtless played a large part in alienating him from the rest of the world, and he passed his complicated youth in that silence which is the first and last refuge of the frustrated. His sensitiveness got twisted into cruelty and made him monstrously lucid, he understood his father’s weakness, but the second-sight by which he infallibly got his own way was diabolical.” Beautiful writing, one that is meant to convince the reader he/she has a grasped the soul and mind of Cesare Borgia. But then again, as most of this paragraph, it’s all just literary without any substance. Reading Bellonci I wondered many times if she had a time machine or the Borgia family’s secret journal, because she speaks as if she were there with them, and they confessed all of their feelings and private thoughts to her. This is fiction. She is implying that his solitary existence came from the fact that his reality was at odds with his desires, when there’s no proof to suggest that was the case, and that he was kind of a lone wolf? and that’s just blatantly incorrect. Maybe we can guess he might have felt lonely sometimes in a way that people with a high intellect, people who are ahead of their time usually does because it’s difficult to find other like-minded people, but he was and remained very close to his family and some friends until the end of his life, he was far from being a solitary man. He must have experienced “icy” pessimism and burning ambition just like any human being, but it certainly wasn’t his only two emotions, and very likely had nothing to do with Juan and his own career, and more with his family’s enemies and the political scenarios he was a part of. Was it really his rancour that alienated him from the world or was that the world he lived in so hostile to him and his family that they alienated themselves in order to feel safe? Hmmmm. And I’m sorry but, throwing complicated youth and Cesare Borgia in the same sentence is simply absurd. Are we talking about the same Cesare Borgia? The handsome, incredibly rich young man? Whom his contemporaries had to admit was charming, cheerful, polite and graceful? The one that when he wasn’t studying or working hard, we see him having fun with his Spaniard buddies, have love affairs, hunting, finding any excuse for dancing and bull-fighting, basically enjoying life wherever he could, this Cesare Borgia? Give me a break, I wish my youth was as complicated as his djsdjsds. The image of this dark, sulking, frustrated man, full of bitterness is very much a product of fiction, and totally incompatible with the reports written about him. As for “his sensitiveness” that got twisted “into cruelty”, i find it irking when scholars throw these words out there and don’t bother pointing out exactly what they are referring to. Borgia scholars are always talking about Cesare’s cruelty, his alleged “mean-streak”, but they don’t give any examples. If you are going to say a person is cruel, then I, at the very least, expect you follow that by an event where their cruelty is revealed. Explain your thought process, that’s all I’m asking. What are the pieces of evidence that revels Cesare’s sensitivity? and what are the pieces of evidence that revels Cesare’s cruelty? Otherwise it’s impossible to know what you mean and I’m not going to take your assessment of this person’s character seriously. Now I understand that when scholars speak of Cesare’s sensitivity, they are usually referring to his reaction towards the men responsible for the libels slandering him and his family, and although it would be understandable for him to feel outraged, I think it’s a mistake to link Cesare’s punishment of those men with his inability to take insults as Rodrigo says to the Venetian ambassador. If Cesare really was so sensitive about insults against him and his family, wouldn’t we have a long list of his victims that died simply for the deed of having offended him? which remarkably we don’t. That implies that Cesare could take insults, but when these insults were tied up with politics, he acted. The men spreading these libels, the Savelli letter being the main one, weren’t doing so to entertain the people of Rome and Italy. It wasn’t just titillating gossip. It was a clever and effective political propaganda made by Rodrigo and Cesare’s enemies to “kill” their reputation since they couldn’t, at that moment, literally kill them. It was meant to overshadow any and all positive policies their governments were doing, and put public opinion against them. Cesare understood what his father couldn’t, and he rightly tried to contain it somehow, which brings me to these men’s punishment and how it’s the only documented example I can think of that would fit the general definition of cruelty, and even so, it’s not a great one. There’s an anecdote about Cesare shooting bandits from his balcony at the Vatican with Lucrezia by his side that imo, would fit better the definition of “wanton cruelty” and having a “mean-streak”, but the authenticity of this story can't be verified, and it seems to have been just slander. Although it is odd Lucrezia’s biographers never mention this in their works, given that they don’t seem to mind authenticity when it comes to Cesare, and it would provide them with the best example for Cesare’s cruelty they go on so much about. I wonder why that is. But when Bellonci wrote this sentence, she is aiming to conclude both her presentation of Cesare and why he murdered Juan. The whole point of this page she wrote was to create the right environment for the fratricide act. Cesare’s sensitivity made him incapable of dealing with his feelings of anger and frustration over his life, and that manifested into cruelty, that here is tied to the murder of his brother along with other crimes she uncritically pins on him, which turned him into a monster and only then he had the lucity to see what it had to be done since his father was too weak when it came to Juan. If he were to get his way, then he would have to commit a diabolical act. But apart from what I already wrote on why all the claims about Cesare’s being unsuited for this career, how he hated it and envied Juan are baseless, there’s another hole in this narrative, Rodrigo Borgia’s own decisions about Juan. They’re ambiguous af, and I think his plans weren’t always so set in stone as it is sometimes imagined, he was a shrewd, pragmatic man, so he probably changed his plans according to the political scenarios around him, and the benefits it would bring to his family and the papacy. Yes, he appointed Juan as Gonfalonier and Captain General of the Church, and invested many benefices upon him, but he also married Juan to Spain, and after the fiasco with the Orsinis (which to be fair, wasn’t just Juan’s fault) it seems he was sending Juan back to Spain, and it really looks as if Rodrigo’s design was to secure the Borgia’s power in both his native country and Italy. Juan seemed to be the one ensured to make that happen in Spain, while in Italy, it was up to Cesare, Lucrezia and Gioffre. Considering all this definitely puts obstacles to Bellonci’s assertions, and it’s easy to see why she ignored it. “His solitude was his fortress, and he used his inhuman courage and self-sufficiency to serve his idolatry of power.” No, his family was his fortress, again he was not a lone wolf, he worked in sync with his father, his brothers and his sister, and he very much relied on them and on others. He was brave, but it was far from being inhuman, and I absolutely have no idea what Bellonci means with his self-sufficiency given that his whole life was depended on others, and he knew it too, and he tried to change that. And his idolatry of power, it’s another thing scholars like to claim about him, but Cesare’s fascination with power, if we can call it that, wasn’t all that different from other nobles, and it wasn’t such to say he worshipped it. I have no idea where there came from, probably from bad interpretations of The Prince. It wasn’t a fascination of power for the sake of it. Having power at Cesare’ time and environment was tightly connected with your survival. If you were a person in a high position of power, maintaining that power was important if you wanted to keep breathing. If you lost it, you could die. Just like many spaniards did when Della Rovere became pope. The reason Cesare wasn’t among them is precisely because he had enough influence and power within the College of Cardinals to afford some protection. If he hadn’t cultivated that, if he hadn’t accumulated power in the Romagna, he would have been murdered not long after his father died, like it happened with the children of other popes. And I guess that finishes it. It’s a powerful page, but then again I do think that most Borgia authors are very talented when it comes to writing, and constructing narratives, but when you break it down phrase by phrase, weighting in the evidence that exists for such claims, 80% of the time you will come up empty handed, or with contradicting information. Many of the things said about them, esp. about their characters, it’s a historical construction, or authors’s personal interpretations of the material they studied, since much of the Borgia’s history (that was shaped by their enemies) is wrapped in mysteries and subjectivity. Bellonci’s biases are all over her work, and it’s the strongest I’ve read with so far with Borgia bios. She had a mentality of only being fair to those she sympathized with. She detested Cesare the most, so she didn’t cared about being fair to him, she accepted all sources and gossip said about him without any discernment. He is the embodiment of only bad traits and his actions only carries chaos and “dark unrest”, but also I do believe she believed most of what she wrote about him. It’s not difficult to see why. Cesare’s black legend, alongside the unfortunate Machiavellian prince image, that is usually attached to his name with its awful connotations are always looming in the back of people’s imagination, and it’s almost impossible not to carry these preconceived notions to his historical figure when writing about him I imagine, not that she tried lool, she didn’t. She seemed to have already made her judgment about Lucrezia, Rodrigo and Cesare even before she studied all the material about their lives. Her mission was to rescue Lucrezia from her horrible reputation at all costs, and put her on a pedestal, while dragging the Borgia men and anyone else she didn’t liked, and well, she did succeeded at that, at least to a general audience and some academics.

#cesare borgia #maria bellonci #house borgia in history #borgia thoughts #so here's 9 pages of thoughts about cesare absolutely no one asked for djsdjsdjsjdsjds #but i guess that's what tumblr is for right?!#it was fun writing it #i promised i will do bellonci's lucrezia next #<33

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partyinthemysterymachine · 5 years ago

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as a classic cats fan what did you think of the 2019 movie?

FOREWARD: i have full respect to those who enjoyed CATS 2019 and show their support and engage in that part of the fandom. rock on. very truly, honestly, sincerely, i hope you have a blast and create and share and have the best of times. welcome to the fandom, it’s great to have you here; thank you for joining us and i really, really do mean that from the bottom of my heart and soul. it really makes me happy that CATS has become something good for you like it is, and has been, for so many of us. i’m ecstatic to see the fandom expanding and i’m so very serious about that.

unfortunately this is the time to jump ship if you don’t want to hear any more complaints about it. thank you and ilu all and once again, welcome to the fold, i love that you’re joining us and y’all being here honey butters my toast xoxo

there was a 2019 movie?

runs hands down face

from the very first sneeze of an idea of doing a CATS movie went around being speculated in what.. 2012?? i have been against it because i knew it wouldn’t be done right. what i really wanted, really hoped for, what the fandom very honestly deserves and STILL does to this day and beyond is another honest, no dances cut, full on professionally shot video of the stage production again.

i’m still putting my hand to the cold glass and pulling my thin shawl around my shoulders as i gaze past the rain blurring the dreary world outside and sighing a tremendous, weary sigh because Hamilton is getting a full professionally-shot stage movie...... and CATS likely won’t ever.. and how cruel that is.

(not hatin on Hamilton, btw; im just old and bitter LOL i have zero hard feelings towards Hamilton and honestly good for them for getting that done, they deserve it)

so...... listen. i appreciate the thought and commitment to making a CATS movie. i think the biggest thing that busted my balls about it was the use and execution of the CGI cat people. ofc this is a big thing in a lot of opinions. but i’ve always been sitting here like.......

there are... decades of fanart. decades of productions and photos and costume design. but the fan. art. did anyone go in and look at it? artists have been drawing these characters a wide variety of ways, but when it boils down to the anthropomorphic take on it, i thought it was pretty damn clear how good it could look. i feel like they should have been diggin in the CATS art trenches all this time, all these years, and really taken all these artistic interpretations very seriously to heart.

it felt like a slap in the face when they overhauled nearly everyone’s design/look to the point where i don’t even know who i’m looking at. and listen, i’m here for redesigns, don’t get me wrong. i dug Jason Derulo’s Tugger design. i dug Idris Elba’s Macavity base idea because he was made a shorthair and clearly all source material says otherwise? and where’s the ginger, mate??

(NOTE: in the b’way revival the new Macavity costume is easily 99% black in contrast to the original design in which the costume was 95% red and orange. stark difference. “Macavity’s a ginger cat” contradicts the revival costume a bit since, again, it’s largely black. so in its defense, the costume’s red/orange accents are well placed and the black pays more tribute to the “very tall and thin” aspect he’s supposed to have. (the old costume was wild and hairy, it kinda puffed him out a bit, esp with the much fuller and taller wig.) the revival wig is more on par with main wigs, and it has that coppery color, the makeup is simplistic (as it needs to be added on to Plato) and the color use FOR base Plato brings out the red and etc etc etc. i like the revival costume; it didn’t go overboard on the reds and oranges, it was sleek and powerful, and oh my god you’ve got fingergless gloves with fucking fringe there is a MANE wiht FRINGE who designed that bc i gotta kiss em and offer a piece of my heart and soul)

everything felt muddled, disorganized, foreign, and god why did we do Jennyanydots that why please why are the cockroaches people please are you all ok in production? blink twice if you need help

oh yeah and the fat jokes. i think we were supposed to be getting over that but ok

very interesting thing with Macavity kidnapping the potentials. kinda dug that. fuck it up, Skimbleshanks

and speaking of fuckin Skimbleshanks you have no idea how much of my shit i lost when he started the tap number. i was over the MOON. GOOD shit, FUCK yeah, GO OFF and it was brilliant, absolutely beautiful

ALSO when i heard Judi Dench was gonna be in it i was really hopeful she’d finally play Grizabella. what a fucking treat that would’ve been. she was set to debut the role in the West End, then she tore her Achilles, so Elaine Page replaced her and the rest was history. i’ve really wanted to hear/see her Grizabella. :(

(and briefly on the topic of Grizabella i’m kinda not here for the trend of younger actresses in the role just hhhhhhhh kinda takes away and misplaces her whole vibe and story imo)

i just.. i didn’t understand some of the plot changes like how Macavity was up in everyone’s bs tryna force himself up to the Heavyside Layer, it was silly, and yeah i shouldn’t take CATS so seriously even with the longtime fan background but

gestures helplessly

y’all fr??

there were a lot of super questionable decisions across the board and all that has already been gone over by so many people a dozen billion times. on one hand, i’m glad CATS got some exposure. on the other, :( not like this

however, on a very good note (other than skimbleshanks bless him): let me tell you how EXCITED i was that they used the original Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer arrangement. what a fucking pleasant surprise. HELL yeah. i LOVE that arrangement and i’m tickled to pieces that it was chosen. good shit. good shit.

tbh as Serious and Bruh Calm Down this might all sound, it’s honestly no skin off my teeth. it’s a frustration, sure. i’m so very tired. i’m disappointed. i didn’t have any specific expectations about it, just a lot of hopes. maybe too many hopes.

being a longtime CATS fan i know as well or even better than other people what a fucking dumpster fire the show is LMAO it’s wild and it’s ridiculous and god it doesn’t make any sense, it has a plot and it has no plot and everything about it is so horny and it’s the greatest fucking thing to ever happen to me

i obviously have a lot of feelings and history with CATS, and 2019 did not “ruin” anything for me, it didn’t “taint” anything about it, despite everything i’ve complained about i don’t consider myself a purist. (ok. except about the revival choreography. some things are more sacred than the vatican.)

i don’t dig 2019 as a whole. i don’t want to completely disregard it. there are bits and pieces i did like and that i can appreciate. i wish it wasn’t done that way. i just wish we had gotten a true blue professionally shot, no dances cut, honest portrayal of the stage production.

but hey it is what it is. at the bottom of it all i’m just glad there are new people coming in and taking a look around. it’s nice to see a resurgence of the fandom. it feels really good to see more people here and loving it. i missed CATS and the CATS community. it feels so good to be home.

#ches writes #ches writes stuff #cats musical #cats the musical #anti cats 2019 #is that the tag? god i feel like such a dick tagging that lmfao #if there's another tag i need to add lmk pls #in which i barf words and do mostly complaining but also wholesome #frnkfucker69

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littleladymab · 5 years ago

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this is a belated fic for @justakidfromabadan who provided me with “musical theater!jaskier” college au and i immediately took to it. there will probably be more fics in it, in the future, but please enjoy this little introduction to it

Jaskier books it from the theater lobby as soon as he has the ability to do so. The chatter chases after him, the mounting voices of students tumbling at his heels until the door to the music room slams shut.

He waits a beat, then two, then heaves a relieved breath as he presses his forehead to the door.

Audition weekend is always the worst, more so after a particularly successful show. Last semester’s performance was, well… It was probably their best to date. They definitely broke fire code with the amount of people allowed inside for multiple performances.

Which meant that when the call went out across campus that they were looking for cast for this semester’s show, well…

Jaskier figures that half the college probably showed up.

With that many people talking over one another, fighting to be heard, in the shitty acoustics of the lobby? Sensory overload time bomb.

So he books it.

They won’t need him right away, in any case. The lead role is already technically his (barring someone else who can sing and improvise poetry better than he can and sword fight), and they won’t be doing musical callbacks until next week. He came, he said hello, he left.

The soundproofing of the music room cast a fuzzy silence around him, and he gives the door a fond pat before pushing himself away.

The piano behind him is a welcomed sight, and Jaskier makes a small sound as he settles into the bench. His fingers trace over the ivory keys, the hum of anticipation for the first chord chasing away the lingering remnants of anxiety.

His foot hits the pedal, testing it — though he knows this piano like the back of his own hands. Enjoys the thrum the instrument makes as his foot releases without striking a note. The way the bench creaks as he shifts into a comfortable position.

And then he begins to play.

He strokes and strikes the keys with careless precision. He can play this song with his eyes closed, knowing each measure by heart. The lyrics spill out of him, and he finally feels truly at peace in the comfort of the music room.

It was his favorite song from their previous production. It was the reason he chose that show in the first place. It was a shame he didn’t get the role. (Not through any fault of his own, except perhaps, not insisting on swapping the genders of the characters.)

The song ends, his fingers hovering just over the keys, and his foot on the pedal. The warmth of the lingering chord fills the small room.

And then someone says, “That was an incredible performance.”

Jaskier jumps the moment the first syllable is spoken, fingers slamming down discordant on the keys and his foot releasing the pedal with a deep twang. “What?” he asks, then gulps down the jolt of nerves and peers one way around the piano, then the other. “Who—”

A man grunts as he stands upright, and Jaskier stares—attributing his gaping mouth and rabbit-quick pulse to the surprise and absolutely no other reason. The man’s hair is a shock of silver-white, apparently natural or incredibly well-dyed, and he wears an outfit that looks like someone forgot to tell him it wasn’t ‘international dress like a pirate day’. More confusingly, he grips a scabbard in one hand, the intricately designed basket hilt of a rapier glinting in the overhead light.

“I’m sorry,” Jaskier says, on the defensive now that his privacy and his deductive reasoning were both thrown out the window. “Did you fall through a time portal and land in the wrong dimension?”

He gives another grunt, or perhaps this time it’s a snort, and there is the briefest sensation that a smirk is hiding just beneath the perpetual scowl he seems to sport. “No. I was…” He holds up the sword, as if it explains anything. “Practice.”

Jaskier lets both eyebrows lift and he makes an encouraging gesture with his head that he hopes conveys, and?

It apparently doesn’t.

“Practice for what? We haven’t even finished the first round of auditions.”

This confuses the other man, and Jaskier can practically track the route his brain takes to reach an understanding. The man has incredibly expressive eyebrows. “Sword fighting.”

Well, he should have honestly expected that. “How does that… bring you here?” Intruding into his safe space. “I spend a lot of time in this building and I’ve never seen you before.”

The fact that he might just be another one of the multitude of aspirational theater performers doesn’t escape him, but also doesn’t seem to be the truth.

“Yennefer said that this show would have sword fighting.” The man lifts his rapier again, but Jaskier buries his face in his arms as it clicks into place. Of course Yennefer would be involved in this somehow. “She said to come talk to the directors.”

“Yeah, alright. Well, you found one.” Jaskier pushes himself back upright and sweeps a hand over his hair, trying to push aside the extremely tired person who just wanted a moment alone and reclaim the air of the theater’s musical director. “Sword fighting lessons, hm?”

He’s not even going to address the Yennefer comment. He’ll confront her later about it.

“I’m not a qualified stage combat trainer,” the stranger admits. “But I do practice with blunted blades.”

Jaskier runs the mental calculations, though he knows that he’s already done for. “Did Yen tell you that she’s one of the leads for the show?”

There’s a flicker of something that might be shock on the man’s face. “No.”

“Oh, color me surprised, she normally can’t resist the urge to gloat.” Especially not to attractive people — and tall, pale, and brooding here is the extreme definition of ‘attractive people’.

This time, his response is definitely a snort. “I don’t see what difference it makes.”

Jaskier does, and he hates that Yennefer has him figured out so easily and is already two steps ahead in whatever sort of scheme she is cooking up.

“Well.” Jaskier fishes his phone out of his pocket with a resigned sigh. “Give me your contact info, and we’ll let you know when we need your services.” He slides it across the top of the piano. “I’m sorry you had to come all the way over here just for me to have to tell you that, but Yennefer should have clarified. So you can blame her for your wasted afternoon.”

“It wasn’t all bad,” the man says as he hands back the phone. Geralt, the contact reads, and several more things click into place from conversations with Yennefer. “I got to hear that incredible performance. Much better than the woman who actually sang it on stage.”

Jaskier doesn’t know how to feel about tall, pale, and brooding Geralt calling his performance ‘incredible’. Twice. “Thank you,” he says, because it is the polite thing to say. He feels like he should say something else, but words are failing him — which is an uncomfortable first.

Geralt waits, as if he is expecting some other sort of follow up. When none comes, he gives a curt nod and brushes past the piano.

Through some incredible force of will, Jaskier resists the urge to watch Geralt leave, if only so that Yennefer won’t be able to read it all over his face later.

——

Jaskier: you absolute *witch* Yennefer: 😘 Yennefer: he’s an absolute snack, isn’t he? Jaskier: i hate u & everything u stand for Yennefer: Of course you do Yennefer: you can tell me all of that and more over drinks tomorrow Jaskier: *please* Yennefer: Smooth way to get his number, btw Jaskier: oh fUCK off Jaskier: I was trying to be professional Yennefer: For once Jaskier: hah hah hah Jaskier: i know what ur up to Yennefer: oh? Do you? Jaskier: I won’t stand for it Yennefer: you know *exactly* what I’m thinking right now Jaskier: i do and i hate it

#the witcher #a lil miss fic

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mhall070 · 5 years ago

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MY SUPER SMASH BROS STORY

I first played super smash bros in 08, when brawl was new. It belonged to my mom's ex's nephew's friend, me my brother my mom's ex's nephew and his brother all played for countless hrs (funny with the 4 of us it really was super smash BROTHERS). Now I first played smash before I new what smash was so it was really just a fighting game with a bunch of familiar faces to it. My mane was Mr game & watch I only played him because he was visually the most impressive character (being flat and all), my brother played snake because he was a solder the nephew would play sonic and his brother would play rob cuz he looked like wall e.

Unfortenently this fun would not last for I had forgotten all about it in the 3 yrs it was absent from my life. 3 yrs later in the last month of of middle school I did not rediscover smash but it was first introduced to me. It was super smash bros 64 I fell in love instantly with its bizzar game play and mechanics, but most importantly with the characters and settings. The first character I played was jigglypuff because no one else played her and she was the only unlocked character. The connection with jigglypuff and I was strong and would be indefinite because she was so quirky and fun, I enjoyed being a nuance to my friends while having my ass handed to me. Note ssb64 is when I first met my partner so you could say smash is a love story. After a while I new I had to own this game so I asked my mom for super smash bros, yep those were my words, I never specified I wanted ssb64. On my next birth bay I received a videogame as my gift it was super smash bros brawl (in my opinion the most ambitious game in the series). As I played through with my brother we shuffled through an onslaut of options like music choices and modes like saving photos and replays it was amazing, and don't get me started with subspace emissary. The story mode was almost to much fun being so dramatic and hilarious, it really was something to behold. In super smash bros brawl there were a few more characters I found I had a great fondness for. They were Zelda & sheik, falco, marth, and the ice climbers whom I would not learn were from the previous instalment for some time and the newcomers were zero suit samus, Lucas, pit, toon link, and rob. It was also brawl that introduced me to my favorite video game franchises, like metroid, star fox, zelda, and f zero. When we first returned to the fighter select screen a memory from the past suddenly changed the way I looked at this game series. My life was suddenly just like the entangled crossover mess that was the game, it was like meeting an old friernd who had always been there, and it was then I decided super smash bros was the greatest video gaming experience of my life. Not long after completing brawl I discovered super smash bros melee instantly I new I had to own it, so I bought a copy and a GameCube cuz I didnt own one. It took me a stupid long time to unlock every character and stage (melee stages explained). I was surprised to learn that some characters in melee didn't make it to brawl, only one of wich I really fall in love with. Roy was one of many characters that were sadly cut from the next instalment. And I mean clones they were everywhere in melee and all but absent from from brawl. As for other characters I grew especially fond of the ice climbers and their gimmicky play style. Unfortunately super smash bros melee modes were a bit lackluster compared to brawl. Say for adventure mode wich was surprisingly deep, it really made you feel as if you were traversing through the games the characters belong to, unlike subspace emissary. But where I believe super smash bros melee really shines is in its game play and mechanics. It feels like a movie hopping around with explosions and lightning fast movements and it's technical input options that make the competitive scene so alluring (I'm a casual player BTW), unlike brawl wich is slow and sloppy and ssb64 wich in my opinion is worse. All things considered it is perhaps the most well put together game in the series.

Some time later super smash bros for Wii u and 3ds was announced, I was shocked, I believed ssbb was to be the last game in the series. I couldn't believe it, smash for handheld and home it was unreal. The first installment in the series I could truly enjoy the hype for, it was fun aside from being a skeptic of all the leaks that would later turn out to be true. First I shall say I accurately predicted paluteana would be a playable character, second the biggest surprise was definently pac-man (didn't think he'd be possible), and third I was crushed to learn ice climbers would not make the cut because of the 3ds and I'd resent it for that reason. Not only that but I new the 3ds version would be inferior so I waited for the Wii u version. I stood out side the game store late at midnight to get my copy early. And I played for hrs, my favorite addition to the game had to be 8 player smash I allways wanted more action. I must say the roster of this game is one of if not the strangest with the cutting of semi clones like wolf and Lucas and the return of clones, specifically Dr Mario, of all the melee characters you'd choose to bring back why him over mewtwo, and the inclusion of dlc later. Nonetheless I did receive a few new characters to enjoy in paluteana, villager, the mii fighters, and corrin. Speaking of dlc I was not surprised by the announcement of mewtwo as dlc and I am glad both Roy and Lucas returned and Ryu I new you couldn't represent capcom with just megaman. The other game modes in Wii u and 3ds were interesting to say the least, target blast was fun but I still prefer target smash, master and crazy orders were amazing but hard, smash run was certainly the best thing about the 3ds version oh yah I did get a copy and a 3ds because I didn't have one. Oh and people, smash board isn't comparable to subspace emissary or world of light so, stop comparing them. The inclusion of amiibos really can make the game interesting but ultimately (pun intended) aren't very fun, however that won't stop me from buying all the amiibos I want. Now taking all this into account super smash bros for Wii u and 3ds allthough is flawed is also endlessly entertaining.

Then one day my partner came up to me and said, MERDY (thats my name) there's a new super smash bros game coming out. We watch the teaser and the thoughts just start rolling in, what characters will there be, what stages, what items, what modes, I was ready for all the answers but I would have to wait. I can say before the big "everyone is here" reveal I knew the ice climbers would return I also new there was no way they'd pass up another chance to add a story mode. World of light and spirits for that matter are probably the best thing to happen to smash, it's so complex and in depth it's creative and bewildering, it may not be as enveloped in worlds as adventure mode and we may not be able to enjoy the creative level design Masahiro Sakurai brought to subspace, however world of light has one thing the other two don't, customisation and the choice to play how you want, it's not as linear as adventure mode or subspace, and your fights aren't chosen for you. As for other game modes, I should first say 2 great new additions are video editing and vr mode, anyway you might as well go back and play some of the earlier installments in the franchise because ultimate leaves a little to be desired. Say for smash mode wich has lots of fun and well we can't talk about smash mode or super smash bros ultimate as a hole without mentioning it's shining star. The characters in super smash bros ultimate really make the game, I always dreamt that all the character from past installments would be in one game together. Of course I still had my predictions and surprises, first I accurately foresaw chrom, Simon, king k rool, technically hero (I really predicted erdrick only), and banjo & kazooie. Second I did not suspect, daisy, dark samus, and incineroar, although it was not a surprise ridley's presents in the game is highly appreciated for I am a huge metroid fan, BTW inkling was a no brainer. And I should mention the only new character I really enjoy playing is king k rool. Before the last section I wanna reminisce the things I'll miss about super smash bros. I'll really miss board the platforms, race to the finnish, 3d models of the characters and stages on select screens, event matches, coin launcher, boss battles, master and crazy orders, trophy rush, trophies, smash run, and good online gameplay... oh wait that was never a thing. I must state I'm sorry this story kind of turned into a critique, but super smash is first and foremost an experience and looking back now my life has be influenced by it, learning to grow strong and live big, and I can tell you super smash bros still is both a brotherly and love story for I still play with my brother and partner frequently. As for the future I can't say, ssbu is still growing and I personally believe it'll be Sakurai's last game in the franchise and video games are starting dwidle out of my life. Nonetheless it will be an unforgettable experience and I plan to continue to share it with all the world as it should be, being the largest crossover event in the history of entertainment, how can you even avoid it.

Waluigi for smash!!

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#super smash bros #super smash bros brawl #super smash bros melee #super smash bros ultimate #super smash bros for wii u #super smash bros for 3ds #ssbb #ssb #ssbm #ssbu #super smash bros special #ssb4 #jigglypuff #2008 #2014

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rndyounghowze · 6 years ago

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Off Broad Street Players Get Peachy with James and the Giant Peach at the Levoy Theater in Millville, NJ

By Ricky Young-Howze

Tonight at the Levoy Theatre was totally the pits and that was a great thing because Off Broadstreet Players was showing off their latest All Kids Production of James and the Giant Peach Jr. This adaptation of Roald Dahl’s work had words and music by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul and book by Timothy Allen McDonald and was directed by Tyler Daddario. Be prepared for a theater spectacular that you’ll want to take a great big bite out of!

Thanks to the help of a mysterious man and his bug buddies James sets sail on the ocean in a giant peach to escape his aunts who are only looking to strike it rich.

Direction by Tyler Daddario tugged right at my heartstrings by filling the stage with the most talented kids in South Jersey. Now you guys know I’m a huge fan of puppets. So I have to really applaud his use of Bunraku (performers visible with their puppets) early in show only to have the puppets turn into costume characters as they “grew”. I also love his use light and shadow (which also isn’t surprising because he’s the lighting designer) and creative fog. Kudos to him for also wrangling so many kids onstage which he did so adeptly with assistance by Lauren Fazenbaker and Student director Jared Deshields.

If I said everything I really felt about these wonderful actors we’d be here for eighty days so let’s go through them in rapid fire!

James (played by Drew Terista) had such a natural energy onstage I haven’t seen in adult actors! He’s just gotta keep this up and if he does I’ll be leaving the nursing home in ninety years to review his millionth performance.

There are some performances you have to stop and watch because if you blink they’re gone. Ladahlord (played by Gian Verderose) was such a delight to watch! Here one moment and then running off in a flash right before your eyes! Btw he looks amazing in a dress!

Ladybug (played by Lena Dougherty) really stole the show! She ruled that stage with poise and panache! I can’t wait to see what she does in the future.

Grasshopper (played by Kurt Sparks) caught me by surprise with his splendid rendition of “Floating Along”. I didn’t expect that kind of performance from someone who looks like such a regular joe! There’s nothing regular about him.

Spider (played by Olivia Johnson) had no right making me cry so much with that voice and talking about her dead fiancé. I’m telling you no right (sniffle)! Seriously does she have a side job cutting onions?!? Truly a touching performance and a voice far more seasoned than her years.

Earthworm (played by Ayden Horsman) was a sleeper hit! Sometimes I would just look at him to see what the heck he was doing. He really baited me (ha!) with a great performance!

Centipede (played by Aidan Bradley) was brash and bold! It was nice to see him bringing that blue collar gruffness to the stage! Even with the short amount of time onstage you could really see him develop the character.

Spiker and Sponge (played by Brooklyn Richmond and Lauryn Sheppard respectively) made me laugh out loud. Their ability to commit larceny to a beat really inspired me. Richmond as Sponge has a singing voice that drew me into the songs and Sheppard as Spike stoke the stage as nimbly as she copped a purse.

I’m not going to kid you. Normally I pick out two kids from the ensemble to highlight here but I’ve been racking my brain trying to pick two great kids out of this amazing cast! I can’t! I surrender. This ensemble of amazing kids finally broke me and all earned a spot as my Background Standouts. There you go. I hope you’re happy!

In all seriousness each kid brought an energy and dedication to the show that makes me really excited to see what they do in the future. THIS is why you support theatre by young artists!

And a big get well soon to Scott Magee who would have been playing Bobby Bobby-Cop if he wasn’t sick with the flu! Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Dana and I have a favorite saying “loud and bad is better than good and quiet”. Musical Director Aimee Ferenz has the gall to make sure they were both loud AND good! Young voices are some of the hardest things to coax into the rafters and she did it! This is her first time at the Levoy and I desperately beg that it not be her last!

Choreography by Katie Kiessling with assistance by Lindsay Nakai had tumbling and Fosse and jazz and just a little bit of everything! (Squee!) They totally maxed out their quota of jazz hands and high kicks.

Set Designer Mary Boner must be really tired of wood grain and orange after this show. But her work along with construction by Tom Kiessling, John Daddario and Wayne Wriggins really paid off. I especially loved that giant peach set! You have to go see it.

Props by Cara May were as simple as period suitcases to as complex as money with Director Tyler Daddario’s face on it raining down from the sky! This play has so many great props that seem so fun to build! May’s work is so fun to see onstage!

I knew costume designer Shaun Laurencio was on the scene the minute I saw the dresses of Spiker and Sponge. Only a Laurencio original is such a visual slap to the face that really shows you the grotesqueness of the characters. You saw this all over the stage on every character! Even with assistance by Tressie Neuber this must have been a massive undertaking! A special shoutout to Tressie for cutting her teeth with one of the toughest designers out there.

It seems lately that wherever I go hair and makeup design by John Rattacasa follows me (or the other way around). I’m going to wake up one day and find him putting wigs on my cats. Seriously this guy gets to do so many shows because he works hard and takes his stuff seriously! I especially loved his wigs on some of the ensemble they were like fabulous Easter Eggs! And Ladybug’s wig was especially intricate, interesting, and worked perfectly with the character.

It’s really hard to highlight great sound design because if it’s good you barely notice it. So I give a great kudos to design by Sean Pedrick for all of the microphone problems that I didn’t hear because they didn’t exist! Great job!

I keep telling people that all the theater training and big budgets in the world can’t substitute for a great cast having a great time. If they have fun and love what they do then so do we. This cast had me rolling in the aisles because they had fun themselves. You have to come see this show!

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mamaluigi2018-commsopen · 7 years ago

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Mama Luigi’s Top 10 Favorite Games of All Time.

Hey, everyone! Mama Luigi here. Just wanted to create this list to show appreciation to the games that have given me the most joys in my life and so you can all have an idea what kind of games I love. I will be going into small detail on each game, give a description on why I love these games. and also add my favorite track from each game. Alright. Let’s begin!

10. Mega Man 10 (heh....funny)

This was the most recent Mega Man game we got until Mega Man 11 arrived. This was released in 2010 for the PS3, Xbox 360, and WiiWare, and now available in Mega Man Legacy Collection 2 for PS4, Xbox One, PC, and Nintendo Switch. The story is that a virus called “Roboenza” has appeared and have caused robots to go out of control. It’s up to Mega Man and for the first time joining his side, Proto Man, to stop the menace and uncover the cause of the virus. Many would think that at the 10th game, the gameplay of Mega Man would get stale. Not so! The platforming is still tight and a fair challenge, the robot masters are some of my personal favorites of the series with Blade Man, Nitro Man, Strike Man, and my baby boi Sheep Man. The music is fantastic with tracks such as Stage Select, Solar Man stage, and Wily Stage 1. The weapons may not have been as useful as Mega Man 9, but the good ones are really good like Blade Man weapon and Nitro Man weapon. Plus the added DLC with playable Bass and 3 stages based on the Mega Man Game Boy games are a great bonus!

Favorite Track: Nitro Man

9. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

Released in 1997 for the Playstation and rereleased on the PSN store and PSP as part of the Castlevania Dracula X Chronicles. After the disappearance of Richter Belmont, Alucard is tasked with invading his father’s palace and put an end to his reign of terror. Symphany of the Night broke the mold of the Castlevania traditional platform gameplay with a non-linear explorative action adventure similar to the Metroid series, which coined the term Metroidvania. Later games would adopt the Symphony of the Night gameplay such as Aria of Sorrow and Order of Ecclesia. What I love about this game is just the amount of free roam the game allows for you to do and what kind of items you can find. If you are having trouble with a part of the game, there is a variety of solutions such as a certain spell or a certain weapon combinations that can help you out. The graphics are a clean, smooth sprite style and the music is some fantastic CD quality music. The love I have for this game makes me even more excited for Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night to come out in 2019.

Favorite Track: Dracula’s Castle

8. Kirby: Planet Robobot

Released for the Nintendo 3DS in 2016. Planet Popstar has been converted in a mechanized world due to President Haltmann and his goons. Able to snatch one of the bots, Kirby embarks on a robotic adventure to free his planet from the machine menace. I love Kirby. I love Robots. Put them together and you get a absolute fantastic adventure with great Copy Abilities old such as Sword, Fire, and Hammer, as well as new such as Doctor, Poison, and ESP. The levels are well design to emphasized the robot theme and the soundtrack was given a more techno feel. The best parts are definitely the Robobot segments! It can not only smash enemies along the way, buy also copy it’s own set of abilites!

Favorite Track: Super Nova (vs. Star Dream Soul OS) or “P.R.O.G.R.A.M”

7. Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS

Released for the Nintendo 3DS in 2014, Smash 3DS was a companion game for Super Smash Bros. for Wii U. Nintendo’s greatest are pitted against each other in battle to see who will come out in top. Due to not owning a Wii U, I was a bit skeptic about getting the 3DS version, thinking it was only a dumb down version. I can now say it was not the case! Smash 3DS is just about as a real Smash game as the Wii U version. Having a cast of 65 characters, there a character for almost anyone. The addition of Omega Stages allowed for any stage to be play for competitive match. The choice between For Glory and For Fun was a fantastic idea that allowed any kind of player to have fun. Smash Run was a fun game mode to run in a maze collecting power ups to face your opponents. The music was god like with themes coming from a variety of games and remixes included. So many hours playing with my friends, I know I will always cherish this game and am looking forward to Smash Ultimate this December. BTW, my mains are Pikachu, Luigi, and Lucina.

Favorite Track: Tie between “Gerudo Valley (Legend of Zelda)” or “Main Theme”

6. Shovel Knight

Released in 2014 for the PC and Wii U, with later releases on 3DS, PS3, PS4, Xbox One, PS Vita, and Nintendo Switch. Shovel Knight stars our titular character on quest to stop the evil Enchantress and her Order of No Quarter with his trusty shovel. Steel thy Shovel! Shovel Knight is an indie created by Yacht Club as their first game, and man do they give it their all! Shovel Knight is styled after the NES days not only in art style and music, but in difficulty as well. With exciting stages with their own gimmicks and precise platforming, Shovel Knight is definitely for those who want to relive the NES days. The music is amazing, the characters have so much personality, and the 3 DLC are basically full games put in. Plauge of Shadows is a fun mode with combining different potions. Spector of Torment is my favorite mode with wall climbing, slicing enemies, and Scythe Skating (yes I said Scythe Skating). King of Cards is not out yet, but is showing promise to be just as fun as the 3 other campaigns.

Favorite Track: La Danse Macabre (Spector Knight Stage)

5. Sonic Colors

Released in 2010 for the Nintendo Wii and Nintendo DS. Sonic the Hedgehog and Miles “Tails” Prower must stop Dr. Eggman from capturing planets for his Interstellar Amusement Park and free the captive Wisps. Sonic Colors takes the game play the day time levels from Sonic Unleashed and puts him in a high speed adventure with amazing level designs such as Tropical Resort and Starlight Carnival. The Wisp power up allow Sonic to absorb the Wisp and take a variety of forms such as the Cyan Laser or Yellow Drill. What I really enjoy is how the White Wisp the only thing that gave you the Boost so you had to plan out when is the best place to use it. The best feeling I get from this game is sense of speed I get.

Favorite Track: Planet Wisp Act 1

4. Hyrule Warriors: Definite Edition

Released in 2014 for the Wii U, released for 3DS in 2015, and finally for the Nintendo Switch. The Dark Sorceress Cia has called the greatest villains from across the Zelda timelines. Now Zelda, Link, the White Sorceress Lana, Self-Proclaimed Hero Linkle( and best girl), plus heroes from the entire series must stop her and save Hyrule. An absolute fantastic hack n slash adventure where you get use your favorite Zelda Characters and just wreck everything in your path. With a fantastic soundtrack of original tracks and remixes of past Zelda themes. An expansive Adventure Map where you can collect heart pieces and unlock new weapons, collecting material to expand your characters strength. You can spend so many hours on this game and just have a good time.

Favorite Track: Linkle’s Theme

3. Metroid Fusion

Released in 2002 for the Nintendo Game Boy Advance. After an expedition to SR-388, Samus is infected with X-Parasite. After being given a vaccine containing Metroid DNA, Samus is tasked with investigating the BSL Station. This game. This god damn game was my first horror game. It terrified my 8 year old self. The tense atmosphere, the feeling of isolation, the horrible monstrosities all being after you was made perfectly. And we can not forget about the the nightmare fuel that is the SA-X. That thing was horrifying! The gameplay is fantastic with just shooting down monster after monster and fighting to survive.

Favorite Track: Vs. Nightmare

2. Super Mario World

Released in 1991 as a launch title for the SNES. Mario travels to Dinosaur Land to save Peach(again) from Bowser(again). Super Mario World was my first console game and I share many fond memories of it. The graphics are great with a nice color palette, the levels are fun and varied in design, the Super Cape is an amazing power up, allowing you to skip levels with the right timing. It also introduces one of our favorite dinosaurs, Yoshi. The music is catchy and is remixed into almost every track in the game. This game is truly a masterpiece.

Favorite Track: Staff Roll

1. Pokemon Emerald.

Released in 2005 for the Game Boy Advance, Pokemon Emerald is the 3rd game in the Gen 3 Pokemon games, following Ruby and Sapphire. As moving to the Hoenn Region, a young trainer travels defeating gym leaders, catching Pokemon and stopping the villainous Team Magma and Team Aqua. This is it. This is without a doubt my favorite game of all time. My very first game I ever bought with my own money. Many hours put in to catching all the Pokemon, training and raising different teams, competing in the Battle Frontier. Team Magma and Team Aqua were the first villains to actually feel like a threat, the Hoenn region is an amazing land scape with well known areas such as Mt. Chimney, Meteor Falls, and Sootopolis CIty. The Pokemon designs were made more excotic looking and the music is simple sublime with the use of trumpets. I love this game and I will continue to love and play for all of eternity.

Favorite Track: “Littleroot Town” “Route 120″ and “Ending Credits”

So what did you all think? Do you share any of my opinions on these games? What are some of your favorite games of all time? I would love to know! Have a great day to you all and this is Mama Luigi signing out!

#mama luigi talks #pokemon emerald #super mario world #metroid fusion #hyrule warriors #sonic colors #shovel knight #super smash bros #kirby planet robobot #castlevania symphony of the night #mega man 10 #games #video game

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hetaliaindie · 6 years ago

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Going down memory lane

Just a little photo post.

June 9th 2017

I come back after more than a year, ready to try this out again.

I love how I'm always straight with ya guys in the tags yeesh.

July 4th 2017

The start of my first proper event, the Gandharva Event! (Though I've revised his design greatly ever since- there's no trace of Shiv in this anymore!!)

July 24th 2017

My first interaction with @grandparomeaskblog !!! When will I stop drawing your son in compromising situations-

August 28 2018

The very very first glimpse of Mr. G!

Also August 28

The day I started lowkey introducing the world to Shiv's 2500 year old crush.

September 1 2017

Young Shiv art!

September 9 2017

The most cursed artwork in this entire blog, thanks to aforementioned Grandpa Rome and Mr. Camel ( @de-beste-persian-empire)

September 16 2017

I think, this is the first sridevi we got on this blog. No introduction, nothing.

Same day and we have Sridevi being as demanding of sweets as she always is, and our lovely Aarya! @ask-ladylotus. The world deserves more india wamen.

September 21 2017

One of my favourite answers to date: Jugaad

September 24 2017

Gosh I don't like the art here at all, but here's the start of the lotus/god angst.

Same Day

The cutest darn Shiv ever. I hope I've kept this side of him alive.

Same Day

I think this is interesting because it seems that I was really fond of a more metaphorical approach to some questions and I'm still like that today: Jealousy

Same Day: Start of the God (dream) Event

September 30 2017

Yeah that's really what they looked like then.

October 5 2017

This may have happened nearly 2000 years ago but I do keep referencing it so here, boys and their issues.

October 24 2017

Same story, more details

October 26 2017

This is truly one of the most beautiful works I've made, and this is when I start getting very fond of this kind of storylike narrative, bright colours and literal metaphors.

November 3 2017

Jerks.

November 5 2017

Mr and Mrs. did have their casual pretend intimacy. Now she's alone but Mr. Gold has Zar. I hope we see her grow now that her fake love partner's dead and reborn.

December 19 2017

This is about when I fell in love with both of them tbh. Btw the baby was carefully delivered to an orphanage and quickly adopted by one of Mr. G's workers.

December 28 2017

The start of a legend. The Highschool AU. Would you believe me if I told you that Gypty and I still work on it casually or see various futures spawned from it?

January 15 2018 (Welcome to 2018 my good folks, we made it)

This isn't important content but artwise, It's when I really started pushing for dynamic stylistic choices for my art.

January 16 2018

You really really see it here, and also I start indulging more in patterns to brighten up the simplicity of everyday life. I'd also say this is where the general body differences are most exaggerated between them all (even with sridevi as a child).

January 22 2018

A comment on Arthur Kirkland.

January 23 2018

A memory of the Sack of Delhi. It may strain your eyes (unfortunately I can't say that was on purpose), but it's a tribute to a nation who's heart has been stamped on by circumstances that no one can predict, yet its spark still lights. From an art standpoint, I was very proud of the expression I felt I conveyed well in this panel.

January 28 2018

Listen the amount of research I put into giving you a culturally intriguing gag response-

February 2 2019

Mrs. Gold, I definitely improved a lot with colour usage here.

February 1 2018

This is where I have truly tried too hard on colours but I'm really warming up to it. (Oh nu is my icon that old- i'll get a new one soon I promise)

Please just take a moment, if you're someone who is an artist and is on a journey, to compare this piece with some of the earlier ones in this post. This improvement wasn't completely random. It started with looking for stylistic changes in the way I drew- in my case, really exaggerating the flowiness of my strokes and sharp points (messing around with a grittier brush, helped me a lot too, if you're someone who sticks with soft brushes or mechanical pencils, I couldn't recommend trying to use a textured brush or irl charcoal to get a grasp on the type of mood you want to evoke). At some stage it became a love story with color too, but colour takes time and lots of adjustment, which is why you won't see much of it in my blog.

March 5 2018

This is where I really start pushing the exaggeration on Mr. G, but only to get a feel for him. He evolved from a chunky nosed, physically imposing figure with a laughable quantity of gold, to something more desperate and dependant on money, something lean and mean with a nose that could poke an eye out. And here, most prominent is the shape of his lips, which had grown more prominent than before and very good for emphasizing his frown (and hell to work with when trying for his dimpled smile).

March 11 2018

I drew this for an rp starter since words couldn't describe what was in my head. I think it's a fine example of my adoration for patterns- but not just patterns, the idea of luxury beyond compare. It's prominent in my blog but only because I have the brain of a magpie and am constantly like ‘ooo shiny’. But really, I drew what I liked, so I improved. Find something you like drawing if you haven't yet. It can be skulls, it can be leaves, feathers, find your motifs and everything will honestly follow along.

May 17 2018

Post exam-hiatus, I am back with the gang, my art style is a bit rusty but boy have I got intimately involved with colours.

May 22 2018

I can't get colours out of my head, I'm thinking about them day and night, I need to create, I need to and so I do. (In all honesty I am certain that something greatly inspired me to do this but I cannot recall what).

June 12 2018

The Kill Cindy 2k18 movement is born. I can finally show you the Mr. G I have been hiding from you all.

July 1 2018

Something I can point out now is that while I think my colours work (honestly i was making use of patterns to distract you all at this stage- before I returned from my hiatus, I'd been rejected in an interview for an animation course and the key point my interviewer made was that my sense of colour was jarring, so I really was sensitive over it but seeking out improvement), what I would change is that adding a clear light source and allowing an atmosphere (by adjusting the main figures’ hues slightly to match the background) to emerge in my art would make it a lot better. And I start to grasp at this knowledge.

August 19 2018

The start of the bodyswap event, I swear I'll get back to it. I just want to use it as a stepping stone to get some meaningful character development out of it, thus it's ongoing.

See here, this is where I just stop caring about skin and character colour as something that should more or less be constant. Now it's vibrant and blinding for no other reason than I want to make you feel (granted, I did that too much here and it makes things hard to understand much less appreciate).

September 8 2018

Here I'm really just feeling the colours, Shiv's home is easy- everything is luxurious but at once welcoming (or at the very least, pampering), Sridevi's home on the other hand was shown to be neater and almost less personal, there isn't much immersion allowed in her place but in Shiv's..oh man.

November 2018

As you can see, activity has been dwindling what with rigorous college days and having moved to a new city. It should pick up eventually, but let me close this off with some new art.

Do I have something to say about this piece? Yes, I do! The point of view is Shiv's, thus the warm colours and the way he blends into the background. The main figure here is not himself or his 2nd player, but the vibrant peacocks, that exist in a shade of blue too vibrant to be real. In between the two sentient figures, is our young Mr. Gold, clearly he has the favour of these birds but he doesn't seem very affected by them- unlike the jealous Shiv. He's the dullest colour present and he wears the blandest clothing, the matters of peacocks (be they blue or orange) do not apply to him and he is at once alienated.

Today, November 14th 2018

So after everything, here we are. Is this what all my art was moving towards? No it isn't, it's really just me playing around with photoshop brushes, but the mood of this image is something I feel that I've conveyed with integrity. That's what I want to keep striving for. Thank you all for staying with this blog as long as you have, thank you to all my newer followers, I've linked most of these points to their original posts, I hope that Tumblr does not break them. Love you all!

#mun post #long post #some of the posts include triggering content such as #tw marital abuse #tw insects #and that's basically it #aph india

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web-hosting786 · 4 years ago

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What are the benefits and weaknesses of utilizing ASP.NET?

ASP.NET is costly

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Windows Server Licenses

More often than not you are paying for webhosting, which is typically equivalent to Linux. On the off chance that you have own workers, than you can get advancement permit for improvement free of charge.

In case you are an expert, than cost of windows permit is actually nothing contrasting with other expense, particularly compensations of the administrators

SQL Server Licenses

Assuming you need MS SQL Server, you can get one for nothing. In the event that you need progressed highlights like Business Analytics, you can get the paid one (which a whole lot less expensive than prophet, btw).

Assuming you need another open source elective, as Postgree or MySQL, nothing restricts you.

You are restricted to Microsoft devices

No. Microsoft has grown new C# compiler called Roslyn (open source too) which makes it exceptionally simple to coordinate C# with any supervisor.

You can utilize any information base with any outsider IDE. I'm not mindful of any unique constraint contrasting with different stages. Microsoft's procedure is simply to give better apparatuses, which is valid more often than not

It's valid, that your applications must be facilitated on workers running windows, however this has additionally changed. You would now be able to compose asp .NET applications for Linux.

For ASP NET MVC Hosting, Windows shared Hosting is the most ideal choice. For this, you can likewise choose VPS or cloud facilitating choices.

Also, according as far as anyone is concerned, the determination of web has relies upon your particular necessities and prerequisites. It is constantly prescribed to pick a solid and dependable web have for your site.

It's adds a ton of overhead.

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As a matter of fact, Best ASP NET Hosting is incredibly quick, unquestionably quicker than Nodes JS, PHP or the majority of the java systems.

It's not appropriate for present day web

It resembles saying Porsche isn't reasonable for quick drive, since Cayenne is SUV, not a game vehicle. Indeed, however there is Porshe 911 Carrera also. In asp .NET you have Web Forms (Cayenne) and MVC (911 Carrera)

So what are the genuine impediments of ASP .NET? I truly don't have a clue. I might want to hear from others, yet the genuine ones, not the legends.

In certain circumstances I would pick Node JS as opposed to asp .NET since it's JavaScript, a similar JavaScript as in program and which can bring a few benefits, similar to crossover worker/customer delivering utilizing JS structures like respond.

The upsides of asp .NET are:

C# is perhaps the most flawlessly planned dialects. It's significantly more present day than Java or PHP and doesn't have configuration blemishes like JavaScript and is specifically not normal for Python and multi-reason not at all like Ruby.

Assuming you need, you can utilize F# for some part or even whole application where utilitarian writing computer programs is more reasonable. C# and F# are 100% viable, which implies you can utilize C# libraries in F# and the other way around.

Usefulness - with libraries like WebApi, SignalR, OData, Entity Framework, and language highlights like LINQ you can get such high efficiency, that java engineers can merely fantasize about. All the miniature delicate cash and experience has been used here. Exploit it!

Code and information reuse - since you compose asp .NET in a C# and .NET structure, you can reuse the code in different windows, windows telephone, Xamarin, Xbox, IoT or even Linux applications.

#aspnetmvchosting #bestaspnethosting

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drakorn · 7 years ago

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My Current Top 10 Musicals

So, I thought I’d just make a little list of the musicals that I personally consider to be my absolute favourite ones at this point in time. This list will obviously change again when I find a musical that I like more than one on this list. Anyway, here’s my list, if anyone’s interested XD (Btw, I’m only talking stage musicals here, so if you see any musical that was also a movie, I am talking about the stage version).

But first...some honourable mentions that I still adore but didn’t make it into my Top 10: The Phantom of the Opera, Anastasia, Ludwig II, Mozart!, The Lion King and Jesus Christ Superstar.

PS: All of this is opinion-based. Of course, you will disagree with me at some point, that is just natural. And it’s great that everyone has different tastes!

10 - The Lord of the Rings: A LOT of people have not heard about this musical, but it actually exists. It’s nothing fan-made or anything, it’s an actual official musical adaptation of The Lord of the Rings, not the Peter Jackson movies but the actual Tolkien epic. It ran in Canada and the UK and was even supposed to make its way to Germany. Of course, it has changes in it because adapting the entire story into a three-hour stage musical is an impossible task. It’s also the only musical I know of that consists of three acts rather than two. There is actually a cast recording available with the main songs in it. Like, honestly, I personally just love this musical. For instance, take a listen to Galadriel’s big solo:

youtube

I know, I’m most likely in the minority here, but for me personally, The Lord of the Rings is one of the best musicals out there and it’s an absolute shame that it’s not performed more often.

9 - Wicked: I am an absolute fan of seeing the story from the antagonist’s point of view and understand all of their motives. Wicked is one of the best examples out there as it takes the classic tale The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and gives it a darker and more serious spin, mainly because the Wicked Witch of the West is now the protagonist. I know, this musical is loved by everyone and makes it into pretty much everyone’s top list, but...honestly, it really deserves it. The songs are amazing and the story is very touching, especially the relationship between Elphaba and Glinda. I love villain origin stories, and to this day, the part where Elphaba decides to embrace her role as the antagonist of the story still sends shivers down my spine. No Good Deed still counts as one of my favourite villain songs. I have seen this musical twice and would gladly go again whenever I get the chance to do so!

8 - Rudolf - Affaire Mayerling: Ok, so this is a little bit of a controversial situation for me. I LOVE historical musicals. I just love them. However, this musical is REALLY not what you would call historically accurate. However, to me, it doesn’t really matter. When I look at it from a musical theatre point of view, it’s actually really entertaining! I have never seen this musical live, only watched the DVD and listened to the cast recordings but I would LOVE to see it live once. The songs are so good! While the story is not the best, the music is phenomenal in my opinion. And it also has one of the most catchy villain songs to be ever put on stage: Die Fäden in der Hand. Yes, this musical has MANY flaws, I don’t deny that. The cheesy and historically non-existent romance between Rudolf and Mary is not really the best thing to watch (seriously, why didn’t they include Mizzi Caspar instead of Mary, that would have made MUCH more sense for the love aspect). But it also has a lot going for it, like the actual songs. It is still one of my favourite musicals.

7 - Dracula: Many people consider Frank Wildhorn’s best piece to be Jekyll and Hyde. I personally think that Dracula is that best piece. Sure, it had a very wonky start and the majority of the good and memorable songs came along when the musical came to Austria, but it’s also the Austrian version that I got to hear and see first (not live unfortunately but hooray to cast recordings). It’s an adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula...but more the Francis Ford Coppola film rather than the actual book. The romance aspect between Dracula and Mina is not the strongest part of the piece by far, however, when the story isn’t about the romance, the music is actually really fantastic! Oh, and it also has my favourite ever confrontation song: Zu Ende. I REALLY want to see this musical live. Why does it never come to Austria again? It had a fantastic run in Graz! And why can’t there be one German-speaking version of this musical that actually sticks to the gothic aesthetic? Oh well, a man can dream.

6 - Artus - Excalibur: Frank Wildhorn seems to be getting on this list very often, eh? Oh well, what can I say? I just love a lot of his source material. Artus - Excalibur is by no means an accurate representation of the Arthurian legend. However, what it does good is: it gives the tale its own spin. It doesn’t even try to be a step-by-step recreation, it’s completely its own thing. And I liked it. A lot actually. I saw it two times, one time in St. Gallen and one time in Staatz. Both times I absolutely loved it. It has great music and a solid story. However, the songs are by far the best part of it. It also has one of my favourite ensemble pieces: Morgen triffst du den Tod. This is one of those musicals I could watch over and over again without getting bored at all. Whenever it gets put on again, I will try to be there!

5 - Les Misérables: Ok, of course this was going to be on here. Les Mis is just the definition of an epic and emotional megamusical that is guaranteed to touch everyone’s heart at some point. Now, the fun thing is, the first time I saw Les Mis was in the cinema...when the movie came out in 2012. I know, shame on me, but I actually really liked the movie. When I was in London, I went to see the stage musical and I was blown away! It was so amazing and powerful! Javert is my personal favourite character. But I also saw Tam Mutu as Javert in London and this guy is just having a total blast in this role. Needless to say that Stars is probably my favourite song in the musical. Also, this musical is very relevant, even in today’s world, just like Victor Hugo said himself. The melodies are great, the story is great and the characters are great. What’s not to love?

4 - Rebecca: Not everyone’s favourite musical but definitely one of mine. I think, one of the reasons why I love it so much is the whole mystery and thriller aspect it has going for it. It truly captured the spirit of Daphne du Maurier’s novel and brought it on stage. The set design is beautiful, the music is great, you can’t go wrong with Sylvester Levay, and Michael Kunze once again delivered with a great script. Plus, the title song has got to be one of the most menacing songs in german-speaking musical theatre, especially when sung by the right actress. It’s a musical I would really like to see live...and one that I would wish, the VBW would finally bring back! Come on, what’s stopping you guys? Tecklenburg had a fantastic run last summer!

3 - The Hunchback of Notre Dame: I love it when Disney decides to just go dark for once. The movie is seen as Disney’s darkest animated movie. Well, it’s nice to see that the stage musical is also the darkest stage musical Disney has put on. While the movie still had a lot of the classic Disney tropes going for it, the musical gets rid of those and adds tragedy on par with Les Mis, meaning, keeping the actual book ending in the show. Also, a surprisingly large amount of Brecht and Greek Chorus was added to the show and it works really well! However, the Disney songs stay and it works as a great combination! Making Frollo the Archdeacon again adds so much more weight to the Hellfire song, and overall all the characters are extremely well-rounded. I have listened to the cast recordings and would really like to see this show live once!

2 - Elisabeth: As I said before, I absolutely love historical musicals. And Elisabeth is my favourite of those. It isn’t exactly told as a history piece but more of a dark retelling in a Danse Macabre style. Seeing the story being told from Elisabeth’s murderer’s point of view was a very clever idea. It also gave us the characters of Death and Elisabeth, some of the best musical theatre characters ever in my opinion. Every single character in this show has great opportunities to shine. The music is phenomenal and this piece single-handedly catapulted Austria and the VBW into the top charts of musical theatre producers. Also...it REALLY makes you want to be a history student! Honestly, it did that with me! As soon as I watched Elisabeth, I wanted to find out everything about the Habsburgs XD Also, this is probably the musical I have seen the most out of any. I believe to have seen it at least 15 times when it was last running in Vienna...and the fun thing is, I didn’t even like it that much when I saw it the first time! That WOW factor hit me later when I was listening to the cast recording...it happens.

1 - Tanz der Vampire: Was that really a surprise for people who follow my blog? Tanz der Vampire is my favourite musical of all time and will always retain this position. It is the piece that got me not only into musical theatre but in theatre in general. It got me into wanting to study Drama and Creative Writing, it sparked a lot of my current interests and influenced a lot of my life decisions. Tanz der Vampire has everything going for it: a great story, fantastic music, very good moral lessons, beautiful and lush sets and probably one of the best characters to ever grace the musical theatre stage: Graf von Krolock, undoubtedly the arch-nemesis of Erik Destler in the race for the rank of best cape-swishing gothic lover. It also has a very untraditional story, breaking clichés and tropes left and right, just as Roman Polanski intended. It has the perfect mixture of being dark and serious but also utterly hilarious. And it has probably one of the longest and most powerful solos of any musical in my opinion: Die unstillbare Gier. I want to see the musical more than I already have, which is 11. It’s just THAT good. For me personally, there is no better musical than Tanz der Vampire.

Ok, I know, a lot of people will disagree with me now, but as I said: this entire list is opinion-based. I would really be interested to know your Top 10 musicals :D

#Musicals #Top 10 #The Lord of the Rings #Wicked #Rudolf - Affaire Mayerling #Dracula #Artus - Excalibur #Les Misérables #Rebecca #The Hunchback of Notre Dame #Elisabeth #Tanz der Vampire

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xseedgames · 7 years ago

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Zwei: The Arges Adventure - Localization Blog #1

AAAAAAHHHHH IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING.

I’ve been working on this game for the better part of a year now, but have been unable to say anything about it for PR reasons – namely, that it wasn’t in a showable state, and we didn’t want to confuse prospective players by having two Zwei games announced but unreleased at the same time. Which is totally reasonable, but AAAAAAAHHHH I’VE BEEN WANTING TO TALK ABOUT THIS GAME SO BADLY YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

…Ahem. First off, I guess I should bring you all up to speed, in case you missed the announcement. Falcom’s 2001 PC classic Zwei!! is coming to the Western world via Steam, GOG, and The Humble Store in early 2018, under the name Zwei: The Arges Adventure. Why the name change? Well, because we already released its 2008 sequel, Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection (which was originally called Zwei II: Sky-High Great Adventure in Japan).

That’s right. Localization work wrapped on the sequel first, and now we’re finishing things up with the original.

What are we thinking?!, you must be asking yourselves. Why would we release the sequel first, then go back and release the original? Why wouldn’t we release the original game first? And since we’ve already released the more modern second entry in the series from seven years later, can this earlier effort really hold its own by comparison?

Well, that’s why I’m so excited. Because Zwei: The Arges Adventure is good. REALLY good. In fact, I dare say it’s my favorite translation I’ve ever worked on to date – yes, even topping Return to PopoloCrois and Corpse Party. And if you’re at all familiar with me (this is Tom, BTW), that statement alone should tell you that Zwei: AA is something special, since PopoloCrois and Corpse Party are… shall we say, perennial favorites of mine. To put it very lightly.

So, yeah. Let’s address those hypothetical questions, shall we?

Why would we release the sequel before the original? Well, two reasons. One, because we can – these games each tell standalone stories, set on different floating continents with different casts of characters. Zwei: AA’s two protagonists, Pipiro and Pokkle, do make a few cameo appearances in Zwei: II, but this is done almost purely for the sake of fanservice (the literal kind, not the naughty kind). When all is said and done, these two games are completely standalone, taking place in the same world but telling very different stories with very different characters and a very different feel. Think of it kind of like the Ys series, but even more episodic (since, Ys Origin aside, Ys has the Adol-as-protagonist connection from one game to the next, whereas Zwei doesn’t even have that!).

The other reason is because of the nature of Zwei: AA’s code. The Japanese version of this game utilized DirectX 5, was formatted strictly for 4:3 resolution with no widescreen options whatsoever, offered a lovely FPS selection of 30 or 15 (seriously!), counted on players to play it with mouse and keyboard over gamepad (it supported gamepads, but… barely), and contained no fewer than six unlockable Windows desktop apps that were loosely tied to yet completely separate from the main game.

This is one of them. And that first screenshot at the beginning of this blog entry is another.

In other words… this is the kind of adaptive coding project that’s been known to give lesser programmers heart attacks. Getting a game like this to even run on a modern Windows machine at all – much less run WELL – was decidedly not a task for the meek. In fact, it’s because of the way this game is coded that we ultimately decided to translate the game in-house rather than working with any fan-translators as we did for Zwei: II, as no two programmers would handle this text the same way – and trying to convert a fan-translated script to a format that would work for us would’ve taken almost as long as translating the game from scratch.

So, yeah. Getting Zwei: II out first was pretty much just done because… erm… it was ready first. And it was always GOING to be ready first. Even with a lengthy QA process and a couple minor delays, it still inevitably got finished long before its predecessor was ready to make its debut.

Fortunately, we hired a veteran programmer to work with us on Zwei: AA… but you’ll never guess who! It wasn’t Sara, since she was busy getting Zwei: II ready at the time (and a fine job she did of it, with one of our smoothest PC launches ever!). But this wasn’t our first time working with the guy we worked with on this project, either. It was, however, our first time working with him to modernize someone else’s game – and he really did perform some miracles for us (and put up with my many, many demands for quality-of-life improvements and feature additions, to boot!).

The man in question? Matt Fielding, of Magnetic Realms. A.k.a. the guy who brought you the game Exile’s End.

Pictured: Exile’s End. Which is also an awesome game you should play!

And thanks to his technical wizardry, you guys are going to have an astoundingly up-to-date version of Zwei!! on your hands at launch. We’re talking more than just widescreen support here – there’s full in-game integration of the Pet Monitor and other desktop apps, new control functionality for more natural gamepad support across the board, inclusion of the arranged soundtrack from the Japan-only PSP version of the game, additional art and text content not present in any previous version of the game, and much, much more (to be detailed in future blog entries!).

Moving on to the second question I asked, with Zwei: II already out, can Zwei: AA hold its own by comparison?

I think you know what my answer’s going to be, on that one. Zwei: The Arges Adventure is a freaking awesome game with a lot to offer, and differs from its own successor in enough key areas that it can very easily hold its own any day of the week. Hell, you might even like it better than Zwei: II – it’s certainly a very close call for me, but I’d say Zwei: AA gets the slight edge!

Sure, they’re both dungeon-crawling action RPGs at their core, and they both use food to level-up, even sharing the same food exchange system to discourage grinding. And the two-character party (plus one pet), with one character taking the role of physical attacker while the other slings spells, takes center stage in both titles as well. Plus, both games are set on floating continents in the same world.

That’s a lot of similarities, but they’re all relatively superficial. You could say Zwei: AA is like the 2D answer to Zwei: II’s 3D world, but that would be discounting its snarkier and more tongue-in-cheek storyline (yes, even more than Zwei: II’s!), or the gorgeous and ludicrously colorful hand-drawn backgrounds, or the two games’ very different approaches to pets (you only get one pet in Zwei: AA as opposed to the veritable army of pets featured in Zwei: II, but that one dog or cat [or other?] has significantly more personality and gameplay involvement than its many Zwei: II counterparts), or the huge variety of minigames on offer (all of which have been adapted to play from within the game itself, despite formerly existing only as desktop apps)… and that’s just scratching the surface. In short, although the two games use the same basic template, they represent two very different approaches to game design within the confines of that template.

For me as Zwei: AA’s translator, though, I can’t help but laser-focus right on the game’s dialogue. Protagonist duo Pipiro and Pokkle are without a doubt the best pair to write that somebody like me could ever ask for. Pokkle constantly cracks bad puns (and I do mean constantly!), wears a tail for funsies, and is always hitting on women twice his age.

And Pipiro just has absolutely no filter whatsoever, and is full of so much snark that she’s fit to burst.

Practically every line out of these two is an absolute gem – and that’s to say nothing of the many quirky NPCs surrounding them over the course of their rather lengthy quest (such as the endlessly self-delusional “libertine fatass” that’s funding your adventure, and his extremely no-nonsense maid who gave him that nickname).

I… really can’t stress enough how much fun it was to write for these characters, and how inspired I was to come up with the perfect phrasing for every line. I’m extremely appreciative that we chose to translate the game in-house, as it gave me an opportunity to work much more deeply with this script than I ever could’ve if we’d only been tasked with editing it. As time went on, I found myself revising my work on a daily basis, making small tweaks here and there as new bits of wordplay or better puns popped into my head (much to Matt’s chagrin, I’m sure!). The end result is something that I can stand behind as a faithful interpretation of the game’s mood and intent – an attempt to convey the same degree of lighthearted fun and irreverence present in every line of the Japanese script, but formatted to sound more natural in English, accounting for context, tone, atmosphere, and individual character quirks rather than just hammering out a word-for-word translation.

I’ve never laughed so hard while playing a JRPG before, and I truly hope that when you guys play this one in English, you’ll find its English interpretation just as hilarious as I found its original Japanese to be. That would mean I succeeded at what I set out to do, and would bring me great joy and pride as a localizer!

And please do keep an eye on this Tumblr, as I fully intend to give lots more info about Zwei: The Arges Adventure (and more screenshots showing off lines I’m particularly proud of) in the weeks to come!

Until then, I hope you’re all continuing to enjoy Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection, and… well, I’mma go back to testin’ Zwei: The Arges Adventure now, ‘cause I want this game to be downright perfect when it’s released! And with translation and editing 100% complete, and coding probably somewhere in the 70-80% done range, that release date will be here before you know it…

#xseed #xseed games #xseed blog #Zwei: The Arges Adventure #post: tom #long post #falcom

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im-abanana · 7 years ago

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“Meant to Belong” [2/3]

The second part of my Bendy x Alice story, I’ve just updated AO3 as well!

This is still a “safe” chapter, only Fluff in here, ‘cause I’ve decided to put the Smut part on the third. Hope you’ll enjoy this one, too!

The song I used is “My Escape” by Ravenscode, btw.

You are a total idiot. Yes, you are, and such a scaredy cat too. Compliments.

Alright, alright, enough with that shit! Let's say that Bendy didn't find the bravery to actually talk to Alice during the long break they just had, and let's even say that the still very nervous angel was now standing right next to the little devil on stage, waiting to find herself in front of their teeming audience once again, with a terrified and uncomfortable expression painted on her slim face and evidently not really up to perform or sing... fucking Hell, they were ruined, and the demonic character knew it well, too. “Great, really great. Oh for Satan's sake, why are girls always so complicated?” the minute star of the show thought as he carefully fixed his own black jacket, the refined piece of clothing Alice rudely tossed against his rounded face when they met in the main corridor just three or four minutes ago. “She's really mad at me this time.”.

Oh, and judging by the death stare Joey and the rest of the worried crew were giving them from behind the busy scenes, an earful or a punishment were the best options the united trio could hope for, especially if they'd mess up again during that important performance. Come on, those annoying creators were definitely exaggerating, his loyal co-workers were professionals and it wasn't entirely Bendy's fault, to be frank! Besides, he had a great plan to cheer Angel Face and his beloved fans up after the previous failure, with a little help from a certain best friend of his and a clarinet. If being successful and famous could allow you to disobey your bosses' direct orders and breaking tons of rules from time to time, heck yeah, Bendy was more than ready to do it his own way and make peace with the angelic singer of his band. “Ready for it, Boris?” the short devil silently whispered to the tall wolf, grabbing a microphone, winking at his kind-hearted buddy and getting an excited thumbs-up as a response; very good, it could finally begin. “Time to set this stage on fire, Bendy.”.

“Would you help me to find a new way? Would you guide me through all of this again? Don't let me slip away.” Bendy's unmistakable voice suddenly sang in the complete silence and darkness when the little devil met the angel's still irritated gaze, surprisingly and promptly accompanied by the peculiar sound of Boris' clarinet, as if those two had arranged to perform that unforseen song together, without saying anything to Joey, to the rest of the crew and especially to Alice, who was the one supposed to follow the right dance steps and don't mess up again. That wasn't on the syllabus, what was happening!? What was Bendy planning that time!? For fuck's sake, that disgusting demon was surely doing that on purpose, he truly enjoyed embarrassing her and get his friends and co-workers in trouble with the creators and the audience! All. The. Time. “I need you here 'till the very end, so stay here with me. There's so much love in your smile when I look at your face, and I'm here to stay. You're my first and my last love, and you're my escape.”

But no, not this time: instead of staying still and ruthlessly watch the angelic cartoon's certain failure, grinning at the fallen girl from afar or internally make fun of her lack of preparation and actual panic, evident and almost tangible in her elegant traits, Bendy slowly stepped forward and tilted his round head to look in the young woman's black orbs and lifted his tiny arms up, to gently intertwine his thicker fingers with her tapered ones, silently asking Alice to dance with him; only a simple gaze was more than enough for the two of them to understand each other's thoughts, doubts and secret desires or fears. Natural chemistry, or just an artificial connection? Well, it didn't really concern her now, since Bendy was trying to truly “apologize” for the very first time of his life, so better take advantage from this situation. “So tell me you'll be right here with me, hearing your voice is like hearing an angel sing. Through the good and bad and all in between, you're the one that I want and the one that I need, and I know.” the little devil happily intoned as he guided and moved with his surprised partner on the tidy stage, reminding Alice that his main innate talent was, in fact, dance. Oh, and probably charm too, since the stunning girl couldn't take her eyes off the demon, feeling hypnotised by his sly but caring grin.

Their inky and agile bodies were beautifully lit by the powerful light bulb of the spotlight, that was closely following their graceful and expert movements, almost accentuating the shiny fabric of their fancy gown and suit and each curve of their relaxed muscles, that were freely tensing and flexing to create an unequalled physical harmony and simultaneously a lovely but tacit tension between the apparently mismatched couple. It was like “seeing a fierce predator carefully interact with a frail prey”, that's how Joey and the others described their complicated and burning relationship; you could never know when one of the two would attack, or run, or growl at the other, or angrily submit without a fight, so as not to cause stupid disasters or useless problems to the superiors.

Yeah, the last option occurred pretty rarely to be completely honest, especially before an important performance or worse, a premiere; sometimes, a cold punch in the face or a firm kick in the delicate guts were way more satisfying than a plain compliment by the bosses or a nice communication with the patient and poor crew that had to put up with their unpredictable behaviour 24 hours a day, every single day. Egoism, you might say? Maybe a little bit, alright, but ehy! Brawling with an arrogant rival was one of life's few joys, maybe the sweetest, but the moments of complete peace or dammit, even tenderness between the spiteful devil and the fiery fallen angel were so incredibly rare that right now, seeing the two cartoons performing together with such grace, trust, respect and strength was almost unbelievable, definitely jaw-dropping.“You taught me to live each day, to live each day like it's my last. I won't make you turn away! So come with me, and never look back!”.

That particular song and its deep meaning couldn't be random at all, but the dancers' regal and measured steps surely were improvised... or at least things would have looked like that under the keen and trained eyes of a critic, or a journalist. Luckily for everyone nobody important was there that night, only the inexpert kids and the parents were watching the duo's little show, staring at Bendy and Alice with fascinated expressions and enchanted faces, not speaking as not to disrupt the magical and intimate atmosphere of the busy and pretty crowded room. “After all that we've been through, you are still by my side and I'm grateful you're there and I, I love you. You're my best friend and I want you to know I care!”. Only the tapping sound of their refined shoes hitting the wooden floor of the magnificent proscenium was audible, and the much more taller fallen angel smiled benignly as she spotted the tiny demon having an hard time keeping up with her own fast pace and hold her gloved hands in his, very careful not to step on her pale feet at the same time. Fucking height difference...

Poor thing, maybe he needed some help? Very well.

“So- Uh!?” a loud gasp of surprise and pure fear escaped from Bendy's parted lips as Alice unexpectedly bend over, curled her long fingers around his slim waist and easily picked him up, leaving her black haired partner with his short legs pitifully hanging in midair and feeling his pointed tail snugly wrapping around her curved hips, tightly, to probably get some sort of support and better security. Despite the minute star's evident confusion and distress, those momentary emotions were soon replaced by irrepressible excitement and frenzy as the young woman kept dancing with him in her arms and whispered a quick “I won't drop you, don't worry. Just sing with me.” against the demon's flushed left cheek. That wish was his command and besides, being so tall was awesome indeed! Cool! So that's how Boris and Alice always felt while walking around or simply standing!“S-so tell me you'll be right here with me, hearing your voice is like hearing an angel sing. Through the good and bad and all in between, you're the one that I want and the one that I need, and I know!”.

“So this is how we planned it, knowing that we won't be alone. And this is how it's supposed to be, when you knew it all along!” Alice elegantly sang right after her limp co-worker, her voice echoing in the thin walls and reaching such perfect high notes Bendy couldn't even imagine existed. In those unique moments, the little demon could clearly understand why he felt that huge tension when that majestic, angelic creature would walk on stage and stop by his tense side, giving all she got to their loyal and cheering fans: Alice's powerful but also mild singing was capable of making your fragile ribcage shake in total bliss, your weak heart faint with overwhelming emotion, your knees turning into slimy jelly and your head soar on the clouds of Heaven and drown into the sweetest dreams and wildest fantasies. And her face was so incredible too, her body so damn sexy, her smile so tender and so cute... her freaking everything was perfect, designed to appear breathtaking and absolutely appetizing to everyone, and especially him. Dammit, was he really that helpless in front of her undeniable beauty? Yeah, most likely. “So tell me you'll be right here with me, hearing your voice is like hearing an angel sing...”.

“... through the good and bad and all in between, you're the one that I want and the one that I need.” brushing her smooth and pale chin with the covered tip of his index finger, Bendy encouraged the young angel to look into his pitch black orbs, that were shining with great amusement and sincere entertainment as he took a final breath and filled his small lungs with air, ready for the last verse which he hoped they would sing together. And so they did.

“So tell me you'll be right here with me. Hearing your voice is like hearing an angel sing! Through the good and bad and all in between, you're the one that I want and the one that I need, and I know.” mixing and caressing each other like two passionate lovers would, the couple's voices generated an harmony that fit the romantic song, a very strange thing since they were technically natural enemies: an angel and a devil, good and bad, white and black, grace and disgrace. But maybe sometimes you just needed to forget about the differences to change your condition and embrace a new experience, or a surprising point or view; in fact, that was the very first time they performed together with such composure, without punching or trying to toss the other off the stage every five seconds. Even the audience seemed uncaring about their physical nature or their former relationship, since every single person in the big room immediately got up and started to clap forcefully and merrily, shouting out enthusiastic compliments and cheering at the top of their lungs, yelling their beloved names non-stop. Yes, their names, Alice's and Bendy's at the same exact time, as if they were one, as if them both had... the same importance. “And I know...”.

“Eheh, you hear them, Angel Cake? Listen carefully: this is all for you, you should be proud of yourself! Great job, not as good as mine of course, but pretty close!” Bendy weakly mumbled and laughed under his unsure breath with his usual sly and smug grin, panting a little to regain his yearned breath and still holding onto her narrow but robust shoulders. At this point, the tall angel seriously started to think that his dumb smile was indelible from his round visage, and soon after she felt his long black tail dropping down, the little devil trusting the girl completely and relaxing every single muscle, his tiny limbs imperceptibly contracting because of the previous exertion, and his sore throat aching slightly. Meh, singing wasn't that great after all... who cared about that stuff anyway, despite that he was still the most awesome star ever, and dancing was the most appreciated talent! “They love you, toots!”.

“No Bendy, you're wrong. Not only me.” Alice replied with a gentle and ecstatic smile, that only became wider as the angelic cartoon met the joyful gazes of the little kids, of the adults, of the teenagers and elders all around them. To the devil's tired and burning eyes, that amazing smile could lit the whole town, even the whole world. As the reddish curtain was rapidly brought down by the staff, the black haired woman turned her head towards her short co-worker and sincerely declared: “This is for us, for me, Boris and you. They love us all.”.

The sudden and rather scary sound of a powerful thunder broke the respectful silence that was deeply connecting the duo's blurred thoughts, and the violent rain started to ruthlessly beat against the thick windows, the grey rooftops, the hard asphalt, the greenish trees and everything standing outside their safe and warm building; at that precise moment, as the couple heard the noisy people, who just a few instants before were cheering them and clapping, standing up and quickly walking towards the exit to return home before the storm would get worse, the two talented cartoons knew that their show was finally over, at least for the night. Tomorrow was another day, hopefully a successful one.

“I guess... I guess it's time for me to rest and get some sleep, but only if Joey and the other creators don't wish to discuss the next performance with me, of course. Nice work by the way, I had fun tonight.” Alice kindly explained to her oddly attentive partner, clearing her throat and putting Bendy down with the needed attention, then scratching her cold nape with her nails and hearing another deafening rumble coming from outside. The young angel gently snickered and blinked a couple of times, feeling totally unafraid: “Now, that is what I call a real storm! Right? Bendy, what the...?” the black haired girl questioned and immediately spotted the little dancing demon hiding behind her calm form, his pointy tail tightly pressed between his curved legs and his tiny knees shivering in pure terror. No way, was he seriously...? “Bendy, are you... are you afraid of thunder and storms, like Boris is?”.

Snarling and frowning deeply in response, clearly irritated by her insolent insinuation, the minute demon promptly opened his thin lips to growl: “Pff, if I'm scared!? Do I look scared to you, Angel Face!? Pff! Me, Bendy the Dancing Demon, afraid of thunder and storms like some kind of crybaby, or like that wolf? You're insulting my pride and underestimating me, woman! I'm not scared at all, ok? No, no, no, no, no, no, no...” the stubborn star repeated mostly to himself with his slightly high-pitched voice, causing Alice to let out a pretty frustrated groan and cross her pale arms as she patiently waited for the truth. “... no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, maybe a little bit. Ugh, okay fine, yes! You won, I'm scared of thunder and storms, too! Are you happy now?”.

“Nah, not really, I'm just amused.” Alice shrugged it off with a brazen and superior look, laughing in front of her terrified co-worker without shame and with a vicious glint shining in her dark irises, almost enjoying the awkward situation and seeing Bendy so vulnerable and fragile. “What's the matter, Bendy? Afraid of sleeping all alone, in your isolated and lonely room, with that terrible storm right outside the building and those thunders roaring in your ears? Ahah, you're very cute sometimes. I personally think that you should share a bed with someone tonight since you're so scared, little one!”.

After a moment of total silence and wise reflection, a squealing phrase that the beautiful, young angel would have never expected to hear was desperately shouted by the pleading devil, who dropped down on his weak knees and left the girl completely speechless: “Please toots, we both know that we hate each other's guts with all our soul and passion, but can I sleep with you tonight!?”.

… wait, what the fuck?

#Bendy and the Ink Machine #bendy the dancing demon #alice angel #bendy x alice #benlice #bendalice #fluff #fanfiction

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