#btw I hate everything about you from Three Days Grace is really fits these two

[cloud-iceshadow]

They are NOT friends

[ladynestaarcheron]

Like Pristine Glass - Chapter Eighteen

ao3 - ff.net - masterpost

(tagging these cuties: @humanexile @skychild29 @rhysandsdarlingfeyre @candid-confetti  @rhysandsrightknee @missing-merlin @azriels-forgotten-shadow @books-and-cocos @sezkins79 @city-of-fae @someonemagical @dusty-lightbulb @messyhairday-me @rinad307 @superspiritfestival )

so, i recalled earlier this week that in canon, showers don't exist. you might be thinking, hey lior zoë, what are you talking about? allow me to refresh your memory. in acowar, nesta confesses to feyre in front of the inner circle that her ptsd is triggered by taking baths, because of the cauldron. so she has to bathe in buckets. feyre assures her that they will come up with some contraption that will allow her to clean herself some other way. in the snippet from the end of acofas (which we now know is called A Court of Silver Flames, btw!!), nesta mentions her ability to slip into a bath is huge progress. so presumably, feyre has not given her this contraption. i think about this all the time, because the idea of a superior race with all the magic in the world not having ever invented showers is so supremely stupid to me. however, it has come to my attention that on two occasions I have forgotten this, and mentioned showers in previous chapters of lpg. i have elected to continue ignoring this and in the future will continue to reference showers. but in accordance with the rules of the game, I can no longer call this fic canon compliant AU. henceforth, this fic is a showers exits!AU and nothing more.

enjoy.

---

February 9 - 4 years after

The last of Sugar Valley's snow melts in early February, and as mid-month nears, the weather almost looks warm outside. Of course, it is still plenty cold, so every morning brings a new argument on whether or not Avery has to wear her coat, which sparks an identical one with Nicky.

Nesta takes a deep breath. "All right, Avery," she says. "Stand outside for one whole minute without your coat. Just on the porch. Yes, you too, Nicky."

"I want Ollie to come too," Avery demands.

"No, Ollie doesn't want to stand in the cold without a coat. There you go. Your minute starts...now."

Nesta watches the two of them stand on the front porch, Nicky enjoying himself like it is a game and Avery, cross and stubborn, glaring at her.

Ollie sits on the floor next to the door, working on putting his boots on by himself. He's quiet except for slight whispers as he coaches himself on how to tie his laces.

"Had enough?" Nesta calls.

"I'm cold, Mummy."

"Well, come inside and put on your coat, then," Nesta says, doing her absolute best to keep her voice even.

Nicky does, but Avery remains outside, scowling.

Nesta takes a deep, shaky breath. "Avery," she says. "I can see you're shivering."

Avery stomps her foot. "I am not."

Nesta closes her eyes. "All right," she says. It's far too early in the day to choose a hill to die on. "Let's just walk to nursery, then."

Nesta wraps Avery's coat inside hers—she can't hold it normally, for if Avery sees it, she'll throw a fit. She fastens her buckle tightly, so the smaller coat won't slip down her body and she can still use both her hands to hold onto her children.

But Avery doesn't want to hold hands today.

Eventually, she manages to get all three of them to nursery, with Avery in her sour mood the whole way, Ollie keeping to himself as much as possible, and Nicky blissfully unaware of both his sister's and his mother's irritation.

She sneaks the coat into their teacher's hands and leaves after only two quick kisses goodbye—Avery has joined her friend Emilia in a game and refuses to pay Nesta any mind at all.

So Nesta scowls on her way to start her day, too. Perhaps even more than usual, for Maz ducks behind a bookshelf as soon as he sees her.

"How have you scared him off already?" Zeyn asks, laughingly, from behind her.

Nesta whips around. "All I did was walk in here!" She can't help her outburst. She doesn't have many outlets. She'll take what she can get.

But Zeyn is rather used to this, and his easy-going personality never falters. "Woah," he says, holding his hands up. "Coffee's in the back room. Come with me."

She'd like to stew in her misery for a bit longer, actually, but Zeyn doesn't let her, pushing her along and sitting her down in a chair.

"Is it the workload?" he asks her. "I know you've been taking the brunt of those Prythian writers..."

"It's all of it, Zeyn," Nesta says, dejected. "It's the writers and my regular workload and Avery's going through this phase...and Ollie's being quieter than usual and I think his lungs are part of the reason, really..."

And she doesn't say it to him, but it's Cassian, too. Not that he's done anything wrong, it's just...he's been in the Night Court all week, and she has grown so used to having him around. And now it feels like everything has been dumped upon her alone. Pairing this with that "paperwork" that Amorette had started doing, which is shaping up to be a huge opportunity for her in Ciyaluck...Nesta's never felt more burdened in her life.

"At least Nicky's still singing to himself," she says miserably.

"Ava's not exactly depressed, Nesta," Zeyn says, teasing slightly.

"I think she hates me now."

"She doesn't! Like you said, it's just a phase."

"It's not..." Nesta swallows. "It's just a lot."

And now she can't even share with him, because...well...it feels too weird. She and Cassian have been co-parenting for months now. She's been slowly easing Zeyn out of conversations like this, and to suddenly talk about something as intimate as her relationship with her daughter with such brazenness...it feels wrong to be talking to anyone else this way.

But that isn't right. She still loves Zeyn. He still helped her with the children so much when they were born, when she was pregnant.

"It feels a lot to handle sometimes," she says finally.

Zeyn cups her face with his hand. His eyes, warm as ever, twinkle at her. "You don't have to handle it alone," he promises, voice sweet.

She summons a smile. "Is that an offer to edit these short stories I just got?"

Her ill attempt at humor works. He laughs and breaks apart. "Count on it."

---

February 3 - 1 year after

It was a good thing Adil had found her a house when he did, because the deals with the bank and with Erest, the councilhead, were finalized just as Nesta grew to be too big to fit through the door of her room at the inn.

Nesta had actually been looking forward to her second trimester, because of the promise of not greeting every morning with violent illness, and then crumpling up in a heap on the bathroom floor.

But it seemed that the first day she had awoken to find all she had eaten before going to bed yesterday had successfully stayed down, was also the day she thought she would not be able to get out of bed on her own. While it was true—in her case, at least—that the fourth month of pregnancy brought with it the energy that had all but disappeared completely these past few months, it wasn't much use if she was too heavy to handle herself.

Amorette, her healer, was pleased to note every pound Nesta gained. She had been worried, at first, having heard tell of females unable to produce enough space and nutrition for multiples and losing all of them, one after the other, but Nesta was having no such troubles. She—and Miri—had assured her that she did not look to be the same size as her new two-story house, though.

(There was some concern about the size of one of the triplets, a male, significantly smaller than the other two, but Amorette said as long as they were keeping an eye on it all, they should be fine.)

"Right, then," Adil said, coming down the stairs of the house. "You should be set for now. Placeholders," he added, nodding towards the blue couch in the living room and other items that graced Nesta's sparse new home. "Until we can...get some..." he trailed off, looking around, perhaps doing more measuring in his head.

"You've done more than enough," Nesta said firmly. While pregnancy had not been kind to her over the last month, Adil certainly had, helping her with everything she could possibly think to need. Miri as well. And Zeyn...well, Nesta could never really tell if he was more irritating than helpful, but he was there, too.

"Got the cribs set up, room next to yours. Didn't paint the room, though..."

Nesta could hardly believe it. "What?"

Adil looked as startled as she felt. "Well, Miri said it was important for you to paint it. Nesta...?"

"Nesting," Miri called from the kitchen.

"Right."

"No, no, it's not that. I just..."

I just forgot I'd need cribs.

"...didn't realize you had bought me cribs. That's—that's too kind."

"Gift from the shop," he grunted, looking away. That was fine. Nesta didn't want to make eye contact either. "Well, we'll be on our way."

Miri came out of the kitchen. "I've got some meals ready for you in there, dear."

"Oh, thank you, Miri. You didn't have to do that."

"Oh, please. We'll see you tomorrow, dear."

"Thank you," she said again, to them both, as she walked them out.

The sound she made when she shut the door was between a sigh and a groan. Endless relief and gratitude that she finally—finally, for the first time in her life, had her own home. And the dawning realization that it would not be hers alone in a few short months.

Or would it? Nesta didn't remember deciding she was going to keep the triplets, only that she wasn't terminating the pregnancy. Were those her children stretching out her insides, she wondered, running her hands over her belly as she stared in the mirror? Or was she just holding them for someone?

That was something she needed to figure out. Before Cassian wrote back, at least.

She tried not to think about how he hadn't written back yet. Perhaps he was still...upset. But he would, eventually, and then she...they would...what?

Less than five months to go...and with the average duration of a triplet pregnancy being far less than the typical nine months, probably not even that. Whatever decision she was going to make, she had to make it soon.

---

February 18 - Year of

Nesta never thought the sight of Cassian's house in their camp would bring her so much relief. But it meant that trip was finally over.

"I've got to shower," she said, as soon as she walked in the door. "I have to get all of that place off of me."

"What was so bad about it?" he called after her, but she didn't stop to answer.

That camp wasn't so terribly different from this one, true. In fact, it was uncannily similar, as she had noted when they first arrived there. But the people were different. There was no love lost between all the townspeople here (save Cassian and Emerie) and Nesta, but she had not missed being looked at that way. Hated...feared.

She hadn't minded really, in that room. And she could admit to herself here, alone in the shower, that she even...enjoyed some of it. The parts where she spent all her waking hours with Cassian, and even when there were other people in the room, she wasn't sharing him.

Nesta had never been someone's first choice. No one had ever placed her at the height of their priorities, given themselves to her first and foremost. And that still wasn't what was happening. They had only gone because Cassian was General Commander—sworn to her sister and Rhysand and the people of the Night Court first.

But all that had seemed far away on this trip. It was so easy to pretend like none of that was real.

Even then, she knew the illusion couldn't last that long.

---

February 26 - 1 year after

Days seemed to go by quicker now. What with her new house, Nesta felt she had more freedom to go about the town as she pleased. She was so taken with living life as she saw fit, she didn't even mind that Sugar Valley really didn't have much to do. She thought she might prefer it that way.

In the mornings, she would walk to the bookstore, and someone would be waiting with a coffee for her. Zeyn or Miri or sometimes Leyla. Perhaps they worked in shifts.

She'd read and repair all day, and stop to eat lunch with everyone at half past noon. There hadn't been a collective lunch break when she had started, but one day she sat down with a large container of chicken salad, and Zeyn had sat himself next to her, and then Leyla had joined, and Maz followed her, along with Xeyale and Amir, and Miri had come to see what the gathering was about, and then Adil had wandered in after her. Sometimes their publishing agent, Hazar, stopped by and joined them.

Sometimes she'd leave in the afternoon for a visit with Amorette. In the evenings, she'd go home and fix herself dinner, which she liked to do alone.

But after that, she'd go for a walk about the town, and inexplicably, someone would be there. Most often Zeyn.

"So, you think of any names yet?" he said to her one night, as they walked.

Nesta popped a sugarberry into her mouth. "Names?"

"For the babies."

Nesta flinched. "No."

"Oh, do you think it's bad luck to talk about it? Some people do. My mother's that way."

"I don't believe in luck," she said. Luck was so faerie, like their pantheon of gods and fate and mates. None of that was real. Not real enough to matter, anyway.

Zeyn laughed. "That must be nice."

She didn't think it was. He laughed at everything, didn't he? Nesta would never be that way.

"So, do you need any help? With the names?"

"Did you have some you wanted to share?" she asked drily.

"ZJ," he said immediately.

"ZJ? Zeyn Junior?"

He grinned at her. "Got a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

She summoned a weak smile. Where she was from, someone was only a Junior if they had taken their parent's name.

"Zahra's pretty popular for a girl," he continued, unaware of her thoughts. "I think it's pretty."

"I don't think I want a Gilameyvan name, though," she mused. And she certainly shouldn't choose a name if she wasn't sure she wanted to keep the children.

"What's popular in Prythian, then?"

"I don't know," she said shortly. Then, after considering it for a few moments, "I'm from south of Prythian."

"What's popular there? Is Nesta a common name?"

"Hardly," she scoffed. Feyre wasn't, either. They did know their fair share of Elains, though. "I guess...Heather? Joyly? Analynn?"

"Joyly's nice."

"Well, I didn't like any of the Joylys I knew."

"What about boy names?"

Nesta thought. "Well...Caleb, I guess. Elias." She didn't remember many boys she had known. Tomas, of course, but she wasn't going to name anyone after him. "Actually," she said, softly, "I did always like my father's name."

He touched her elbow gently. "What was his name?"

"Ollison," she said. She hurried to find something else to say. She certainly didn't want to talk about her father. "I like Avery for a girl. A book I liked when I was younger...the heroine was called Avery."

"Human-authored?"

"Yes."

"Maybe we can find it," he said. "How do you know so many human-authored books anyway?"

So Adil hadn't mentioned her slight stretch of truth. "I lived among them for many years," she said.

"Wow, really? What were they like?"

"They were normal," she answered, irritated by the question.

"Really, even to a High Fae?"

Oh. That was why he asked. How to answer?

"Friendships and love can transcend race," she said, thinking of her sister and her new family. Herself and...

"You loved some of them."

After a lengthy pause, Nesta said, "I did. Very much."

---

February 11 - 4 years after

Avery's poor attitude does not transfer towards her behavior at nursery, according to her teacher, and while Nesta supposes she should be glad of this, she finds she's only upset that it seems to be just her Avery has a problem with.

This is further worsened by her shrieks of delight when Cassian accompanies her to pick them up that afternoon.

Avery races towards him like she hasn't seen him in months—even though Cassian had arrived last night, and they had all eaten breakfast together.

Cassian doesn't seem to notice Nesta's disgruntlement, and laughs as he picks Avery up into his arms. Nicky and Ollie clamber at his legs, and he scoops them up too.

Nesta keeps her eye roll to herself as she takes their bags. Not Avery's coat, though—because at Cassian's request, she had elected to wear hers today.

At least Nicky says, "Mummy, I missed you so much today!" and Ollie nods along eagerly.

"Can we go to the park?" Avery asks.

"You know the rules, Ava," Cassian says sternly, as they leave. "We go home and eat first."

Avery pouts some, and Nesta's blood rushes to her cheeks—is she going to throw a tantrum? Oddly, the idea of a public fit doesn't faze Nesta at all, as the three of them have each had their fair share, but having Cassian see how incompetent she can be mortifies her beyond belief.

But he coaxes her out of it by promising they're going to go to the park later, and actually, they're going to cook something together to eat, and won't that be fun?

Nesta has been hiding her bitterness from her children their whole lives, so this one afternoon is hardly the one that kills her. But she takes extra care to keep up cheery pretenses because of Cassian's presence, and she's convinced she's done a good job of it, because he doesn't seem to notice anything's the matter at all.

At least, she doesn't think he does, but right after they shut the door to the children's room, he puts his arm over her shoulder, and—when they are safely out of earshot, in the kitchen—says, "Nesta, what's wrong? You've been miserable all day."

"I have not been miserable all day," she scoffs, trying to hide her flush with a glare.

"Come on, Nesta. What is it? Is it Ava? Kids act like that all the time."

"I know how children act," she snaps.

"I didn't mean to imply you don't," he says. "Just...trying to reassure you." He hesitates. "Nesta...Rhys and Az and Mor each told me that you're a wonderful mother."

"What a surprise that must have been."

"To them, maybe, but not to me," he says seriously. "I always knew. But it's okay if this is hard for you to do on your own. With Ava and with everything you've had to take on at work...and, you know, if anything else has been pressuring you..." he trails off, and when she doesn't show any sign she knows what he's talking about, his lips tug upwards slightly, and he adds, "If I've been pressuring you."

"You have not been pressuring me," she says automatically.

"Well, I hope you're lying," he says, "because I've certainly tried to."

Nesta rolls her eyes.

"You really haven't thought about my telling you I want us to be a family?" he asks, skeptical. "I don't believe you. Come on, Nesta, it's just me. You can tell me."

Nesta gives a short, irritated sigh. "Well, of course I've thought about it."

"And what?" He takes a step closer to her. "You haven't come up with an answer yet?" He puts his hands on her shoulders, smirking slightly.

He's...he's much closer now. And his wings aren't spread wide, but inching closer to her as well. Blocking out everything in her periphery, so he is all she can see. "I have."

He raises an eyebrow. This is unnatural, isn't it, being this close without actually touching? "And?"

His eyes—like Avery's, like Ollie's, like a dark honey disappearing into the black of his pupils. It takes her a minute to remember what he's talking about. "Oh," she says, slightly surprised to remember. "Well. Of course I want us to be a family." She doesn't get a chance to say anything else.

Because then he is kissing her, and it's like no time has passed. His hands circling her waist and hers taking their place in his hair. He tastes the same—that vague lemon and mint. His hair is a bit longer, but the growling sound from the back of his throat when she pulls it is just as she remembers. It's what spurs him onward, downward. His lips move to the side of her mouth, and he kisses down her neck, but she pulls him back upwards. It's been too long. She has waited so long for this.

And it appears she'll have to wait a while longer, because just as their hands start to roam, a small voice from the stairwell calls, "Mummy, my throat is really hurting a lot."

They rip apart. Cassian's eyes are wide, and he snaps his wings backwards to be tucked against his back.

Nesta whips around, hands furiously smothering her hair—just in time to see Ollie wobble into the kitchen.

He hasn't seen.

The pair of them breathe a sigh of relief together.

Then Nesta remembers what he said. "Your throat hurts, angel? Come here." She picks him up and holds him against her. He lays his head on her shoulder and coughs, wet and deep.

"It's been back," Nesta whispers to Cassian. To Ollie she says, "Do you feel like you need to take the purple medicine we got from the healer?"

Ollie nods, yawning.

"It's in that cabinet there," she says to Cassian. She takes a deep breath to calm herself so she can calm him. "We're going to take a little bit of medicine. We're going to practice our deep breaths over the steaming bowl, and first thing tomorrow we are going to see our friend Healer Nazrin. All right, angel?" She looks at Cassian when she speaks, and he nods along with Ollie.

After she directs Cassian on how much of the tonic to give Ollie, she says, "Now, why don't you go with Appa and sit on the couch, and Mummy will bring the steaming bowl?"

This is not the first time Ollie has woken up in the middle of the night complaining of throat or chest pains and a cough. Nesta's not overly terrified; in fact, she's even pleased to see he is old enough to tell her exactly what hurts and that he wants medicine. But she knows that for Cassian, this is the first time, and he is probably as scared as she was. So sitting with him for a moment alone on the couch while she takes care of the treatment will probably calm him down.

And give her just a few seconds to collect herself. There is far too much on her plate. She doesn't need anything extra to deal with now.

---

hope you enjoyed that!!

also, did you know, i started a booktube? also also did you know, june 21st as this week and it’s the triplets’ birthday? also also also did you know, june 25th is tomorrow and that’s my birthday!!

thank you all so much for the overwhelming support. i just love you guys so much. i also love @thestarwhowishes, my beta.

---

Chapter Nineteen

[toothyblowjob]

fuck it, cats recap

i saw cats with my boyfriend a few days ago. i wanted to make one of these after but thought i couldn't possibly add anything to the heaps of commentary already available on tumblr. unfortunately, cats has a certain staying power, and i think the only way to forget what i've seen is to write it down (aided by a list of songs to remind me which scenes came in which order). so here we go

the opening scene was such a bizarre combination of unsettling and kinda boring. there was so much unnecessary tension.

the set actually looked really pretty! shame about everything it had to witness.

almost all the words in the movie are unintelligible. it's probably for the best.

victoria, the audience surrogate cat, was initially in a big burlap sack which was thrown into an alley. the jellicle cats approach and dramatically paw at the sack. you can tell this was a bit of choreography meant for the stage and not a movie.

some of the cats crawl on their hands and knees, and it's just the most uncomfortable thing you can imagine.

when victoria actually emerges, all the cats hiss and disappear, then reappear to sing a song that mainly consists of asking victoria if she has certain "cat" traits like... being blind at birth???

"would you look at a king? would you sit on his throne?"

in the same song there's a sequence of cats just listing adjectives for themselves. i looked up the lyrics and apparently at one point they say "rabbinical cats." what the fuck is a rabbinical cat?

the big gray cat (afaict he isn't named in the film, but the credits list him as "munkustrap," which is one of the worst names for anything i've ever heard) asks victoria for her name, and is perplexed that it's something normal. look buddy, you don't get to name yourself munkustrap and then complain about anyone else's name.

apparently cats have three names: one that their family calls them, one super fucked up one that they decide themselves (like munkustrap), and a secret name they don't tell anyone else. the third name never becomes relevant, so i honestly don't see why they mentioned it.

if you ever see a cat in "profound meditation" they're just thinking about their name. aight.

sorry, good omens fandom, cats forever ruined the word "ineffable."

i think it's somewhere around here that macavity first appears??? i am ashamed to admit that for a brief moment he looked kind of attractive. it's idris elba, okay?

there's a song where they introduce the idea of the jellicle ball. it's really creepy, which is fitting, because apparently the jellicle ball is when their cat president decides who gets to die and go to "the heaviside layer." tbh if i were in this reality i would be begging for death too.

every moment where the cats are whisper-singing is deeply unpleasant. why.

apparently the cat president decides who deserves to die by having them each sing a song about their name. i'd previously heard the musical summarized as "cats introduce themselves one by one until one of them gets the right to die" and honestly that's pretty accurate.

munkustrap leads victoria to a human kitchen, where rebel wilson's character jennyanydots (really) is lounging around being generally useless. there is an extended shot of her scratching her crotch. i am so tired of rebel wilson playing funny fat characters.

i had already heard that jennyanydots unzipped her fursuit at some point during her song. i couldn't, for the life of me, figure out what the fuck people meant by that. what they meant is, jennyanydots unzips her fucking skin to reveal a sparkly costume AND ANOTHER LAYER OF SKIN underneath. is this part of the musical? please tell me.

i knew about the cockroach vore too, but that didn't make it any less upsetting. it happens twice. there are crunching noises.

the cockroaches are... they all have human faces. they look like aliens from a kid's movie made in 2005.

rum tum tugger's song is, i regret to inform you, a bop. i looked the song up afterwards, and the stage version is actually more upsetting. a lot of crotch action.

that being said, there is a horrifically sexual part during the movie version where cats are guzzling milk and it kinda looks like bukkake drawn by someone who had never seen cum before.

also the cgi for the milk was inexplicably bad. like, it looked like some shit out of a spy kids movie.

towards the end of the song, rum tum tugger pulls victoria's foot towards his mouth. i felt time slow, and i started muttering to myself "no no no no no." fortunately, he did not suck victoria's toes. i hate that i have to write that.

i believe it's at this point that macavity shows up and thanos-snaps jennyanydots. this is the first time magic is shown to exist, which made for a really surreal effect. i kinda thought i was having a stroke.

grizabella.....

grizabella is just furry fantine. she used to be a super glamorous cat, and now she's wearing garbage and singing about how sad she is. jennifer hudson really gave it her all though.

bustopher jones, who looks like he's just james corden's fursona, shows up and sings a song about how fat he is and how much he loves to eat. my fat ass was not amused. at the end of the song he too gets taken by macavity. i guess he has a thing for chubby cats.

mungojerrie and rumpleteazer are just awful names. i hate them so much. why would you name yourself mungojerrie.

they really seem like they're trying to convince victoria to have a threesome with them. at the end of the song she's laying in a bed between them. it's bad.

i am so grateful the dog that they run away from is never shown. i can't even imagine how awful that would be.

the past two mornings i've woken up with old deuteronomy's song stuck in my head. i don't know why. it's not that interesting.

the cats all flock to old deuteronomy and nuzzle her. it's awful.

judy dench and ian mckellan were taking this so fucking seriously. i had to see ian mckellan, without a trace of irony, saying "meow meow meow" and drinking milk out of a dish. it was one of the most upsetting moments for me.

"jellicle cats are black and white," according to a bunch of cats that are neither black nor white.

victoria needs a moment to go outside and chill during the jellicle ball. i can relate.

grizabella is there again, singing a weirdly beautiful song about when she was younger and happier. i decide jennifer hudson is this movie's saving grace.

victoria sings another weirdly beautiful song about how she was abandoned in an alley (which i guess is how she ended up among the jellicle cats).

"all that i wanted,,,, was to be wanted,,," heartbreaking. relatable. loved it.

ian mckellan, whose cat is apparently named gus (short for asparagus), sings a song about how he used to be a great... actor? magician? i wasn't really clear. ian mckellan continues to do his very best to make this weird senile cat seem real, and i fully expect him to drop dead of old age halfway through the song. alas, no cat can die unless old deuteronomy wills it. i thiiiink he got taken by macavity at the end?

it turns out jennyanydots and bustopher james (and gus, i guess) are NOT dead (sigh), but have been transported to a barge in the middle of the thames. honestly i think i just dissociated too hard to remember this scene very well.

another bop from skimbleshanks the railway cat. the slow motion tap dancing was a bit much, but the song at least was fun. at the end he gets disappeared by macavity, oops!

taylor swift's whole bit is... it's just hard to sit through. yknow how everyone made fun of that bit in "look what you made me do" where she went like, "sorry, the old taylor can't come to the phone right now. why? oh, cause she's dead!" her whole song had that energy. the fake english accent made me want to die.

she pours catnip on all the cats, which makes them moan and writhe a lot. i think this was supposed to be the orgy scene? i don't know.

macavity has "broken every human law," which i assume includes treason and gay sex. i really love the possibilities here.

actually yknow what just occurred to me? would macavity get in trouble for bestiality if he fucked a human? or would it have to be, like, a cockroach or something else that's "lower" than him?

macavity thanos snaps old deuteronomy because she refuses to let him die. everyone is super sad until victoria goes "oh hey, mr. mistoffelees can do magic! :D"

unfortunately, i really liked mr. mistoffelees' song. i've been singing it multiple times a day. his face may be upsetting but his overall vibe is kinda adorable.

mr. mistoffelees is named after the demon mephistopheles btw. i feel like that needs to be said.

old deuteronomy is returned to the jellicle ball, and victoria convinces grizabella to sing for everyone. the song, again, is beautiful and heart-wrenching. everyone loves it, and grizabella is chosen to die.

grizabella is put in a hot air balloon. i think the heaviside layer is fake, the jellicle cats are a death cult, and she's just going to suffocate to death. this is supported by the fact that the heaviside layer is a real name for a part of our atmosphere.

old deuteronomy ADDRESSES THE AUDIENCE DIRECTLY at the very end. i hate it.

she says triumphantly, "a cat is not a dog!" this is important enough that the entire cast repeats it. my boyfriend is more upset by this than i am.

there are some horny facial expressions, i think, and the camera pans back to the hot air balloon. the movie ends.

[unfortunatelysirius]

! DEAR BROTHER, HOW I HATE THEE /// BUCKY BARNES x READER

╰❂╮ prompt ╰❂╮ You’re Tony Stark’s secretary, and also his sister, but there’s this one thing you can’t let him find out: your crush on the newest addition to the Avengers team, James Buchanan Barnes. ╰❂╮ author’s note ╰❂╮ I’m finally getting around to trying out new fandoms. Hope you guys like this; if you do, pls tell me, because I feel like it’s garbage and I’m sorry if it sucks D: Love you guys btw! Send some positivity my way pls, I’m going through some shitty times with rlly toxic people and it’s a struggle to get out of friendships with people you’ve known since childhood. AS ANOTHER SIDE NOTE, if you want tagged in future Avengers imagines, shoot me a message or just comment bc yoooo, I’ll totally do it. And rememberrrr, my inbox is open! And I’m always looking for fresh ideas for my imagines :))) ╰❂╮ warnings ╰❂╮ Swearing, Fluff ╰❂╮ word count ╰❂╮ 3869

   If there was one thing you absolutely hated about your brother—not counting his oversized ego—it’d be his habit of meddling in your affairs. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t hide secrets from Anthony Stark. It just didn’t work that way, especially with all the security cameras and the blabber-mouthed Avengers that littered the Tower.

         But there was this one secret that, if gotten out, and if exposed to the male members of the team, you’d probably move to Alaska.

         You had the biggest, fattest, most obviously obvious crush on the Avengers’ new recruit, Bucky Barnes.

         Truth be told, if it were up to you, you wouldn’t be enduring the phases of a crush. You didn’t want to be infatuated with someone who probably cared more for succulents than they did for you. The butterflies, the stomach cramps, the anxiety, the sweaty palms; you were certain Bucky noticed your behavior around him, and he probably found it uncomfortable, and it most certainly made him avoid you, but what were you supposed to do? Stay rooted in your office all day? That was not a plan you felt obligated to disclose—especially not to your crazy-ass brother. If it was up to Tony, he would have locked you in your office by now; if he ever caught you, his puny little sister, attempting to join in on field combat again, he’d probably have a heart attack. And Pepper would have your head.

         Well, maybe not. Pepper liked you. But that was liable to change if you killed her boyfriend. And Tony would turn you into Rapunzel if you kept trying to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent when you were a freakin’ secretary.

         That’s one reason why you couldn’t share your latest fancy with your brother. With all the history of Bucky being the Winter Soldier, and you always getting into trouble that’d always wind up with you sustaining some sort of injury, he’d worry himself into early sickness. You told Tony everything, only starting with the trend of raw honesty after Tony revealed that he had cameras out in the hall from your room and basically knew everything you’d ever done wrong, but this was just something he’d try and sabotage in any possible way he could.

         However, that didn’t mean you couldn’t tell other people. It just had to be outside of hearing range for the Tower. That’s what had you and Wanda Maximoff at a café around the corner from Stark Tower. A populated place that was nowhere near Tony and his rampant, exaggerative mind.

         “Oh my gosh, Wanda,” you groaned into the table, barely managing to thank the waitress as she deposited your and Wanda’s coffees and blueberry muffins in between the two of you. You peeked up, giving Wanda your best I’m-dying eyes, fit with half-slanted eyelids and creased corners. “He’s just so handsome… I can’t be normal around him. Like, how do you be normal around cute boys?”

         Wanda pursed her lips. She had taken a dainty sip of her mocha latte through your rant, and was only just putting it down when you turned your pleading gaze to her. “Well,” she said slowly, “I do not think I am the best person to approach with this information. Neither Natasha. Do you have any secretary friends you can talk to about this?”

         Your eyes turned withering. You regarded your coffee and muffin as irrelevant, pausing only for a moment to take in the delectable blueberries bursting out of the muffin-skin, before you raised your head to its full height. “You and Natasha are the only people I talk to,” you said. You sounded whiney, but you were freaking out about this, so honestly, you didn’t care. You jutted out your bottom lip, thinking a pout could win her over, and evoke from her advice. “Please?”

         A pause. Then Wanda finally sighed. “If you really want a relationship out of this, then you should approach him with your feelings,” she told you. “Feelings are no good when they stay just that: feelings.”

         “That’s true,” you said. You took a bite out of your muffin, nearly turning into goo at the scrumptious taste. “He’s just so… stoic. And he hardly smiles, or laughs. Sometimes I don’t know if he wants to kill me, feels nothing for me, or finds me likable. I mean, I hope it’s the latter, but let’s face it; the only person he truly likes in that tower is Steve, and on rare occasions, he even enjoys Natasha’s company. I’m just… a background nuisance.”

         “No, you are not.” Wanda shook her head at you. She took her hands from her coffee cup, moving them out so she could place them on your own hands. She gave you a stern, motherly look. “You must get to know him better. Try your hand at being his friend, and then, see where the road takes you. You will do nothing for yourself if you continue to mope.”

         You nodded frantically. “Yeah, yeah—that’s a great idea—but, wait…” You sighed. “What do I do about Tony?”

         Wanda rolled her eyes. “Pay him no mind,” she said, pulling away a hand to wave it dismissively in the air. “You’re a grown woman. He does not own you. Unless you are a product of Stark Industries, and you are no human, but a robot in disguise. Are you?”

         “No…”

         “There you have it, then. Talk to Bucky, and see where he stands.” She leaned back in the booth seat, taking a long sip of her coffee. You proceeded to do the same.

         Maybe she was right… You did need to start getting to know Bucky better. And you needed to stop letting Tony influence and dictate your life. After all, Bucky was only a man, and if he was as truly stoic as you thought he was, then your feelings would be one-sided and Tony would get his wish: you, single forever, an eternal bachelorette.

         -

         You were making breakfast in the kitchen Tony had on the Avengers floor (as well as the floor you stayed in, when you weren’t at your apartment in the city), clad in Hello Kitty pajamas, when you had your first encounter of the week with Bucky. You were humming to an old 80’s song, stirring pasta, and there came a deep, throaty chuckle, then his husky voice as he said, “Is that Billie Jean?”

         You jumped, a sharp squeak leaving you. A flush lit you up from head to toe, and if it wasn’t Bucky—if it was another Avenger, someone you were comfortable enough around to be yourself—you might have broken into a fit of, “Oh my god, oh my god”’s. However, just your luck, it was Bucky who graced you with his presence, seeing you in your pajamas, watching you as you jammed out to imaginary Michael Jackson records. This was downright embarrassing.

         You slowly turned to look at him. You fought back the even redder shade of blush that was struggling its way up your throat, choosing (from a multitude of other embarrassing ways to act around Bucky) to smile nervously and teeter-tot on your heels. If the symptoms of your crush were going to burn you alive, you might as well smile through the death and destruction. Bucky began to look expectant when you merely stood there and smiled at him, which made you remember you hadn’t yet replied to him. “Oh, u-um, yeah!” you said, through such a high pitch, that you internally face-palmed. Way to give yourself away, dumbass. “I was just…”

         “Dancing?” Bucky raised an eyebrow. A smirk was beginning to twitch at his lips, fighting to make its debut appearance. “That’s a bit of a safety hazard when cooking, doll.”

         Doll? Did he just call me doll? That deep-red shade you were trying to fight off your face… You were now a goner to your body’s dysfunctions. You flushed deeply, and your smile turned into a clumsy line that revealed just how much strength you had in the face of a handsome, well-mannered man, meaning zero. “There’s a reason why Tony keeps me locked up in the office all day,” you said, with an unsure laugh. “He says I make a habit of hurting myself when I’m alone. Apparently, I’m a trouble magnet!”

         Bucky’s eyebrows raised, and he no longer tried hiding his smirk. He looked amused. “Clearly,” he murmured.

         “Well, uh—” You stopped talking. You really didn’t know where you were heading with that. The curious look on his face, though, made you take a deep breath and say, “Shouldn’t you be at training?”

         Bucky’s eyes turned wide, and his smirk disappeared. He put a nervous hand on his neck, scratching at it—like this was a question he really didn’t want to answer. “Well, uh—” he parroted, looking just as jumpy as you had felt when you, too, had uttered the words. “I just wanted—I, well… I thought you might want some company.”

         You blinked. You hadn’t expected that. “Well… I could always use someone to talk to while I cook.” Your expression considerably brighter, you turned back to your pasta—which had almost burned while you were busy talking to Bucky.

         A loud scrapping sound told you Bucky had sat down, and the prickling sensation on your neck told you that he was staring. After about three minutes of you moving the pasta off the burner and putting together a marinara sauce, you decided to say something. You said over your shoulder, “So, you like Michael Jackson?”

         Bucky said, “Yes.” A simple answer.  

         “I do too,” you replied, a smile on your face as you put the marinara sauce in a pan to heat. You turned to him. “Would you want to eat with me?” At the startled expression on his face, you backtracked, a sense of panic welling up in you— “Wait, uh—only if you want to—”

         “Sure,” said Bucky, reverting you back to your normal, albeit fidgety, state. “Pasta’s nice.”

         “Oh.” You blinked. You weren’t expecting that answer. “Okay, cool!” The raised eyebrow he shot you at the amount of pent-up excitement in your tone made you feel a tad bit abashed, but what did that matter—you were having dinner with James Buchanan Barnes.

         You couldn’t stop smiling all throughout dinner, so distracted by your conversations with Bucky (and the astonishing fact that he was smiling and laughing with you, two elements of a human’s behavioral personality, which he apparently lacked, that caused you to think he disliked you) that you forgot one teeny, tiny detail about Stark Tower…

         -

         Tony cornered you the next morning, nearly sloshing your coffee all down your shirt in his haste to get to you. “You couldn’t have picked a worse person to deflower you, huh?”

         You stopped walking. What the hell? “Did you really just say ‘deflower’? What are you—fifty?”        

         “Better than being in my 90s,” Tony said snidely, an obvious reference you weren’t automatically getting, before grabbing your arm. He ignored your look of annoyance and pulled you to in front of him. “That tin-armed hand-me-down is still in the works about becoming normal, Y/N/N. One little snap, and you could be killed. You understand that?”

         “What—are you talking about Bucky?” At Tony’s deadpan expression, you had to let out a sigh; of course he saw. Of course! He had cameras in every stinkin’ crevice of this damned Tower. “Tony… there’s nothing going on between us.” Well, you wished there was, but he didn’t need to know that. “And besides, Bucky is a person. Stop talking about him like he isn’t.”

         Tony rubbed a hand over his face in exasperation. “Bucky is a person… He’s got you brainwashed, or infatuated, because all I see is a man who murdered our damn parents, Y/N.”

         You pushed him off of you. “That wasn’t him,” you snapped. “He wasn’t in control of himself. If you want to blame anyone, blame Hydra. Stop being a dickhead about it.”

         Tony’s eyes darkened. He went to say something, but he must have thought better of it because he merely shook his head, then briskly walked back down the hallway. When you got to your office, you couldn’t help the long, angry screech that left you in the safety of your personal four walls; if there was anyone who could frustrate you most in this world, it was your brother.

         -

         Taking long and well-thought measures to avoid someone usually resulted in you avoiding other people, too. Which included all of the Avengers. It wasn’t that much of a surprise when a knock on your office door sounded before Natasha was waltzing right in, a look of pure anger on her face.

         “Why are you avoiding us?” she said brusquely, barely paying your deer-in-headlights expression any attention as she plopped down on the meeting chair placed in front of your desk.

         “I’m avoiding Tony.”

         Natasha breathed out a scoff, then began to laugh. “He lives here, Y/N. How exactly did you think you were going to avoid him? Avoid us?”

         She had got you there. Your expression fell into a thin line teetering on the edge of shame, barely concealing your embarrassment. “I know… but he—”

         Natasha threw up a dismissive hand. “Whatever he did to you, it can’t be bad enough a reason for you to avoid everyone and lock yourself up in this tiny little prison you call an ‘office.’” She snorted. “Barnes is worried.”

         You were beginning to look away, not able to meet Natasha’s eyes while she was busy chastising you, but her final words caught your attention. You immediately turned to look at her. “Wait—what?”

         There was that meddling look that Tony was always giving you. Befit with a raised brow and hollowed-out cheeks, Natasha smirked. “Barnes. He’s worried about you. He’s the one who asked me to come check on you. He said Tony probably locked you up to keep you out of trouble.”

         Wow. I didn’t think Bucky cared enough to do that. Maybe there was a lot of things you didn’t know about Bucky. You pursed your lips, then said—“You can tell him I’m fine.”

         Natasha got this look on her face, before she was tilting her face towards the door leading to your office. “Why don’t you tell him yourself?”

         Before you could ask what she meant by that, the door to your office was pushing open, and Bucky stuck his head out from between the frame. His frown seemed bashful, and he didn’t meet your gaze head-on. “Hey, doll. Can I come in?”

         Doll. Again. You ignored Natasha’s knowing stare when you replied, “Oh, y-yeah—of course.”

         “Guess I’ll be off,” Natasha said loudly, rising from the office chair. She sent you a wink. “I’ll get Tony to lay off with the brotherly love.” She smirked.

         You waved her off awkwardly, biting hard on your lip as she passed Bucky and shot him a wicked, cheeky grin. Bucky mumbled a few choice words, shoving at her shoulder; he certainly seemed embarrassed by whatever implications were in her expression.

         When Bucky was out of the door’s range, and Natasha’s clacking heels were no longer heard above the ventilation, the two of you sat in a still, awkward silence. You were twiddling with your fingers, and Bucky was staring at his feet, both of you too introverted and shy to really speak the first words. However, in the midst of your frantic thoughts (Oh God, what do I say, what do I do, is he mad at me? Did I do something wrong?) you didn’t notice Bucky look up from his boots, or see him sink into the same chair that Natasha had only been occupying moments before. He looked at you for a long moment, and only when the hair-raising feeling that accompanied people’s centered gazes intensified did you finally look up.

         “Oh,” you said dumbly. “Hi.”

         Bucky’s lips twitched. The barest hint of a smile crawled onto his lips. “Hi.”

         You didn’t know what to say. Neither did Bucky, it seemed. This was extremely awkward, and you wondered why Natasha had to leave when she knew the two of you were the quietest members of the Tower; conversations were difficult to uphold when Bucky was silent most of the time and simplistic in his rare answers, and you always stopped before you could begin when it came to speaking.

         However, you must have misjudged Bucky for being defiant in his silence. He slowly crossed his arms, continuing to stare into your eyes, before saying, “Did Tony do something?”

         Your mouth fell agape before you were gathering your senses. Don’t be such an open book, idiot. “He said some things I didn’t like,” you said finally. “So we’re not on speaking terms, at the moment.”

         Bucky’s face brightened, then dulled. Like he was wanting a different answer. Like he knew exactly what you were talking about. “Ah,” he said. “Does the word ‘deflower’ really bother you that much?”

         Oh, shit. Did he—? “Wait.” Your reply was slow, calculated. “Did you overhear our conversation?”

         Bucky nodded.

         You sighed. Well, he must think I’m obsessed with him or something, defending him like I’m his girlfriend. “Tony’s… an asshole. I’m sorry he said the things he did.” There, that sounded friendly enough. You didn’t want to come off as a fangirl.

         Bucky just shook his head, looking determined. And like he didn’t really care about Tony, and his wonderful way with words. Bucky leaned forward, propping his crossed arms on your desk. He was close enough for you to smell his cologne, and close enough that your gaze immediately flickered towards his lips. “You said there’s nothing going on between us… What if I said there is something?”

         This conversation was heading in a direction you were not anticipating. Your jaw fell open again, eyes going wide with shock. “W-What?”

         Bucky stared at you. He seemed less confident now, with your expression of bewilderment so blatant. He started leaning back into his chair. “I’m sorry—was that too forward?”

         Now, you were dubious. Why wasn’t he referencing all the fangirl moments you’d have around him? Was he just oblivious? Since it appeared like he was embarrassed, for lack of a better word, you began to push forward in your seat; you latched a hand around his flesh arm. “N-No!” you shouted, before quieting, a blush on your face. “No… I just didn’t expect you to think that way about me, is all.”

         Bucky was the one to look dubious now. “I thought I was obvious about it.”

         “No, if anyone was obvious, it was me.” You laughed and shook your head. “Always giggling around you, and stuttering. And don’t get me started on the blushing. It’s like you’ve turned me into a schoolgirl again.”

         Bucky’s handsome face lit up with a smile. Not a smirk—a smile. It made your stomach do flips. “I guess I just didn’t think someone like you would like someone like me. I’m surprised… I even came up here. I was actually going to your office to ask you out on a date when… you and your brother talked, but when you said there was nothing going on, I just thought… And then you were avoiding Stark, which made me think maybe, you were lying, and maybe his words made you more angry than I thought.”

         That was the most Bucky had ever said to you. Maybe even around anyone in this Tower, including Steve—which made you feel smug inside. You smiled at him, and reached out a hand to lay gently on his jaw. “Well, you’re here now,” you told him softly.

         He smiled back at you. “Yeah. I am.” He cupped the back of your neck with his human hand and pulled you into a swooping kiss.

         You were shocked—completely shocked—by the amount of butterflies that lit up in your belly at the sensation of Bucky’s lips on yours. You thought the movies and books were lying when they said kissing was like a Fourth of July show. He tasted like coffee—black, no creamer and no sugar, the same way you liked your own coffee—and he smelled even more heavenly, making you nestle closer as the grip tightened on the hair at your nape. His lips grew harder against your own, moving passionately (as though both were pieces to the same puzzle) and it made you feel light, like you were airborne, the way he tasted and felt.

         So caught in this amazing feeling, you didn’t hear the door open. But you did hear the outraged noises that left whoever it was that barged in.

         “What the hell, Y/N?! Does this look like nothing to you?” your brother yelped, seeming completely bewildered by the sight of you and Bucky locked in a kiss.

         You pulled away, wracked with a sense of smugness at the deprived sound that left Bucky’s throat. You gave him a soft smile before moving your chair sideways to take a peek at the door. Tony was there, mouth fully popped open, pointing a finger between you and Bucky, like he was in utter disbelief; you were sure in that empty brain of his, he was praying for this to be nothing but a vicious nightmare, his greatest worries coming true.

         How sad it’d be when he woke up tomorrow morning to find that this was a reality, a reality not going anywhere anytime soon.

          You left your hand on top of Bucky’s as you said, “You know, Tony, it’s kind of rude to barge into a room without knocking first.”

         Tony spluttered, and gaped, raising an angry finger. Similar to how he acted when you called him a dickhead. “I’ll have you know—”

         “You own this place, you can do anything you want, you’re the great Tony Stark—blah, blah, blah.” You caught the amused smirk on Bucky’s face. And a startled look. He was probably confused about your banter with Tony; you could be talkative to people you really cared about, but the shyness came out in front of strangers and groups. You threw Tony a frown. “Listen, Tony—I get that you think you have some sort of sibling protection rules you live religiously by, but let’s be a little bit more lenient about my dating life… Okay? Okay. Now please—get out and go gossip to the Avengers about me. I know you really want to.”

         An outraged look appeared on Tony’s face. “Don’t think this is over!” he said angrily, before he was sweeping out of your office; there wasn’t a doubt in your mind that he was heading to the Avengers to mope and ask for advice on how to sabotage your relationship.

         You sighed, looking back at Bucky. He was already looking at you, and he was smirking. “Dating, huh?” he said, sounding pleased.

         You swatted at him playfully; now that you knew he didn’t hate you, it was much easier to be comfortable with him. “Oh, shut up and kiss me.”

         And he did.

[vickie-believe]

Soooo. Yeah. Ahem. This might be a long post but I’m gonna just put a read more after a point.

I redesigned an OC from last year. And this is a major change (I have her old design in one of my art dumps). And it isn’t just that, I did more for her in both writing and character development. I also have more art stuff I did on her past self but gonna put that as a separate post.

Anyhow, this is Mad Jack, the Wild Dog. My Dying Light 30-year-old-plus crazy  OC with a sorta like Chloe Frazer, Rachel from Animorphs and Junkrat mash personality, I created for my fanfic, The Descent.

And you can see a year between different styles, levels of art and all that. So I wanna say that no matter how many years, you’ll get even better. You’ll learn new tricks and techniques, new things every day by keeping at your passion. You’ll get better. Any form you did whether simple, stick-man, anything is still a good art because you’re doing it - you’re not stopping because someone says it’s bad, you’re doing it for yourself. And you keep going and seeing the improvements that prove those people, you can create something awesome. 

So keep drawing. There’s absolutely no stopping, not even for me. I’m still going to improve myself. 

Now then, more on the character. Boring stuff. X’D

SOOOO, the story behind this character creation. I really enjoy Dying Light and I wish the best and all for Techland on their release with Dying Light 2 (and PLEASE GOD BRING THE BROTHER TWINS BACK so that my friend can go “shiiiiit!” X’D I really mean it! He hates them! AHAHAHAHA) and the Following. It was thanks to the ending that got me to start a writing about what happens to Kyle Crane days after the ending. Which means he becomes a sentient zombie in the fic.

What got me into making Mad Jack was two things: one is I realized Crane would need a middleman because you know, he would kill people uncontrollably (and that person needs to be mad enough to even stick with infected Crane) and two, three characters in Dying Light got me thinking of Jack as a common person between them. 

So yeah. Fic’s summary is Crane’s back, he meets an ex-kickboxer from the Outskirts of Harran in the middle of a city named Scanderoon and he learns she and a group called the Ravs are trying to find out why the virus recently spiked up with new mutations, affecting the zombies and the survivors, in hopes that the virus isn’t adapting too fast for a cure to beat it. 

Now the read-more cuz I don’t want you ppl seeing me as a rambling idiot.

Alright. Let’s get to the meat. So for one, when I first thought of the fic, I was thinking Crane is, of course, the main protagonist but with a few elements: he’s kinda like the Mother (sorta, I need to make his character design now lol) but as a Night Hunter sort and would still be himself. His character development would be on the verge of struggle and insanity between himself and his other self. So I couldn’t see himself being able to fully control himself without someone helping him, regardless how strong his willpower is after going through everything. So he needed someone to keep him in his grips. Jack in my fic is sorta of a red-herring first protagonist but is actually a  deuteragonist.

There’s also another point that I wanted to tackle his struggles from the main game, that meeting someone who knew the people he met and learning they’re gone would be the ultimate, powerful and bittersweet development for him. Which is about the three persons I said earlier that is what I based around for Jack.

So the three people were Harris Brecken, Jade and Rahim Aldemir. When I first played the game, I always found it strange how protective Brecken was to both of them which made me wonder if they had a backstory before the outbreak. Sure, many could say, Rahim was one of Brecken’s students or Rais was after the Scorpion before Crane came into the picture. A lot of theories anyone of us could think of. I still felt like there was someone in their lives that crossed paths. The first person I went brainstorming more on was Jade and her kickboxing career.

I made Jack, aka Mad Jack, as Jade’s previous rival and opponent for the last martial arts championship. The Scorpion versus the Wild Dog. The professional 3-year world champion versus the rising star until Jade won and Jack retired. And since their first meeting, the two kids have been friends with her with Jack being that kinda guardian looking out for them. I made Harris be, surprisingly, Jack as that unwanted cousin who you both love and hate a lot. Cough. But with whatever happened to all of them in the past gave me a better structure of why Brecken would care more about the kids if they knew someone who cared about them. Not directly but enough that Brecken wouldn’t tell his cousin they’re gone.

An incident did also cause a bit of friction from Jade’s victory, and that’s something I’ll reveal in my fic later on. And it also did change Jack a lot. The current Jack is more ballistic, unhinged, daring, hungry for a fight and uh...kinda scary the more I describe her now that I think of it. She’s still a good person (sorta) who helps those in need because she’s used to it before, being a legend that inspired people in the past. I even had a small idea that she sings a lullaby to calm the Screamers or infected children before killing them. She thinks of wild ideas that don’t often go the way she wants, a trait Rahim picked up, which is what made him decide to blow up the nest. Go Wild or don’t, which is one thing why those two connected well in the past. Jack’s an unlikely character on the search for why the virus had a kickstarter and being Crane’s hired wingman. 

Moreover, it’s a slow trust building between these two. Jack’s philosophy is sorta kinda like Rais and Crane can see that in her. There are also secrets she has that will put that trust to the test but it won’t just be her but Crane testing that trust with his own sins.

What makes this fic so interesting to me the more I write isn’t just Crane’s constant regret that he has to work with this loony woman in a desperate hope of finding that cure and the funny banter development between a sane zombie and a crazy human but the fact Crane’s past will catch up to him and Jack will learn about Jade and Rahim’s fates. And it’s not just Jack herself but others he’ll learn had some connection to someone in Harran. And that moment he can’t keep the lies in anymore and has to tell Jack the truth, that will be something powerful and heartbreaking - that he met a person who knew them and has to give the grim news they’re gone. Because no one had told Jack yet. What’s more, this will reflect on Jack too - that her influence on the two kids was what got them killed like her way of thinking in going big for Rahim and her philosophy in kickboxing got Jade to sacrifice herself.

From there, well, there’s more I have up my sleeve. And hopefully not break these two in the process. :Y

I made Jack for a long of reasons but the one main thing is, I realized after everything Crane’s gone, he really needed someone, an emotional pillar of support for sure. And he hasn’t had that the entire time in Dying Light or the Following - everyone sought him as a hero and never questioned it. Which...I kinda thought was a little sad. So yeah, I made Mad Jack - someone who had fallen from grace and accepted her current self, be that dog of Harran who fully takes in the fact the whole world has gone to hell and has pulled off the chains. Jack’s history, which some parts I won’t go into details, sorta reflects his that she had done a lot and sacrificed a lot before and during the outbreak came. And with Crane being stuck as a monster for good with moments of losing his shit, he’d need support a lot more than ever. The same goes for Jack with her own problems to deal with that Crane decides to help her like he has always done for people in the main game. And how this will all end, I dunno. I know exactly what might be a fitting end for Jack but how all of this will end, that’s something I’m going to have to see towards the end and how Crane would rise back from his descent thanks to Jack. Whether good or bad.

And there you go, Mad Jack. She really had a huge development based on so many people, as well as Crane himself. And I really enjoy pushing that development further into her, to see how far her trials go on her moral and psyche. 

uh....hope you get it. Probably a bore though. :Y I’m open to anything btw if you think it’s silly or bad. Been editing a lot in this character, others and my writing.

If people are interested, there’s already 15 chps, 1 small intermission chp and the next one is being worked on. Here’s the fic.

I feel like a dork...Im gonna draw other DL fanart. Maybe like banter between the Wild Dog and Scorpion in the past or something...