#bts fanfiction bubbles

[lo1k-diamonds]

Bubbles 💜 Part 2

SX Seoul Series | Jungkook's Entry

You broke my heart… but I broke yours too.

PAIRING: Jungkook x (f) Reader

SUMMARY: You wake up the next morning and feelings you didn't want to stir are brought back to the surface. You think he might feel the same way but maybe you jumped to conclusions too soon.

WORD COUNT: 8.6k

GENRE: Exes to lovers, smuuuuuut, angst, making up

RATING: Explicit

WARNINGS: exes, explicit, unprotected sex (stay safe!), you guys fight and stuff gets punched and thrown around, lingering feelings, heartbreak, second chances

PARTS: [1] [2] [3]

A.N. I wrote this story after a while of being unable to focus and write so I hope you enjoy it, I think it turned out fun :) (Thank you @eerieedits for the cool banner 💜)

Masterlist | Masterpost | AO3 | Wattpad

You woke up in the morning, yet despite the sun’s rays hitting the floor, you couldn't be certain. Were you truly waking up?

You sighed and pressed yourself further back into a welcoming naked chest. The sheets’ familiar scent, the tattooed arm enveloping you, the buzz of skin on skin, and the breath fanning your hair made you certain you were still dreaming. So you moved ever so slightly, wanting to submerge deeper into that dream. And as if to tell you you were not going anywhere, his legs tangled with yours even more. It melted you because it reminded you of so many mornings. So many dawns and sunsets where you had been tucked in safely inside those arms, with his hum near your ear, his perfume trickling your nose. It caused your heart to race, and you took deep breaths. That was your safety net, the place you rushed to so you could recover, rest, and gain the courage to face the world.

You missed it after a year, and it was enough for you to search for even more. You were sleepy, dreaming, and on the only fluffy cloud in the sky you wanted to be. So you turned under his arm to face him, and your heart instantly trembled. His eyes were closed, but the soft lines of his face were the sweetest thing you had ever seen. You missed those pouty lips, that round, cutesy nose, and the swell of those cheeks you used to tease all the time. His eyebrows had always been so expressive and now one had a piercing, which didn’t match the two rings adorning his lower lip except that he pierced the same side of his face. But even that didn’t surprise you; when you first met, he said he always wanted to do something, but didn’t know exactly what. You guessed he had figured it out.

You reached to brush his hair aside and felt the two studs on his eyebrow with a feather-like touch — you liked it. You liked everything about him, always had. Your heart was getting loud inside your chest, and you smirked when it became deafening — because he opened his eyes. In that moment, you decided that reality would only come knocking if you let it. You could pretend it didn’t exist. You could pretend Jungkook was still yours, that he didn’t hate you, that you belonged in his arms again.

You leaned in to nuzzle him and gave him a moment to move away if he wanted. You were clear — you wanted to go on that ride again and forget everything else, but what about him?

He brushed his nose against yours once, then captured your lips with a kiss that made your heart flutter. It wasn’t desperate or crude, it was gentle and warm like when two lovers said good morning. And that was all you needed.

You snuggled closer, embracing him and stretching and sighing in multiple turns. He returned your kiss and held you close, equally invested in that moment with you, away from any pain, anger, or subterfuge. This made you smile, contentment radiating from every corner of you, and it was as if you were in an alternate dimension. You could feel his love again and adore him back, and you wanted to make the best of it.

Maybe it seemed against your better judgment, but you broke your kiss with a mischievous smile and turned your back on him. You pulled his arm firmly around you, in case he had silly ideas, and rubbed your ass on his crotch for good measure. The Jungkook you knew didn’t need any explanations or introductions, and indeed, he grabbed you close, grinding his hardening dick on your ass while breathing in the scent of your skin.

His hand cupped your breast gently, and you grinned, feeling elated with the way he was all over you. When he started playing with your nipple to harden it, you bit your lower lip and failed to contain your whimpers. He knew you were sensitive, and it never stopped him before.

He started biting and licking down your neck, and you were covered in goosebumps, arching your back to give him better access. He kept his sweet torture up, but that wasn’t enough for you — you reached between your legs to grab his hard cock behind you and pull it to be squeezed between your thighs when you closed them. Then you rocked your hips and melted at the groan behind you.

“That’s it,” you coaxed in a whisper, clenching around nothing in anticipation. “You’re so hard for me.”

You knew he loved to be coaxed, the same way you loved to tell him how good he felt. He wasn’t stopping, nibbling down your skin and pinching your nipple gently as he rutted you, and you bit your lip.

“And I’m so ready for you,” you sighed. “Won't you check?”

Your tone was needy, but you didn’t bother hiding it. His hand travelled from your chest to your core, and instantly felt how you were dripping from your folds.

You whimpered, “See how you slide so well?” You meant at the surface, but his fingers sank into your flesh, pumping wet sounds out of you along with needy moans. “Fuck— You know where to go. You’ll feel so good, I promise.”

You felt his smile on your skin as he busied himself pumping you with two digits and getting juicy noses out of you. You moaned onto the pillow, rocking your hips to feel him better both inside you and between your legs. You loved those sensations, not just the pleasure, but the scent reaching your nose because you were in his bed. You were living a dream, and it was absolutely perfect.

His hand grabbed your hip, knowing well you were leaning forward and tilting your ass so he’d eventually slip inside you. The way he was making you crazy for it didn’t elude you, but you were never beyond begging.

“Fuck, baby. Please, let me have you, please.”

He froze, and you squirmed to feel him, thinking that was him just making you work harder for him.

He moved quickly enough that you didn’t think beyond it — he reached behind him inside a nightstand drawer and grabbed something. You heard the wrap tearing and waited until he was ready. You didn’t let a single thought cross your mind, not now.

He grabbed your hip again and this time his cock pushed between your folds to get inside you, making you moan and lose all strength. He rocked his hips into yours, and you gasped, leaning back. You didn’t expect him to grab your hair and arch you further, but it made you clench around him, barely able to catch your breath.

“Fuck— Fuck, I love it when you do this.”

You could feel his breath down your neck. “Yeah? Love it whenever a guy fucks you like this?”

“No, only you.” Your reply was as natural as breathing, giving him all you had, as though you were still dreaming. “Always only you.” 

You were burning inside out, flushed not only on your cheeks but also your chest, hands, and stomach. You reached out to grip his hand keeping your hip in place; your hand was a bit sweaty, but you doubted he minded. You were just looking for more ways to connect with him. 

“Are you going to tease me?” you asked, breathing heavily. “Make me a good girl for you? I always loved to be good so I could earn you filling me up completely.”

His hips jerked off tempo, and you only sighed. He remembered for sure what you were talking about.

His fingers dug into your skin. “Yeah? How many times have you begged for a guy’s cum after that?”

“Never,” your answer was seamless. “You’re the only one I ever begged, the only cum I ever wanted. The only raw cock inside me, the only—”

He stopped and pushed you by the shoulder to face him. You were slightly startled but faced him with all the vulnerability you had been showing so far. His eyes were glistening, almost hurt, and your breath shook. You didn’t want that reality, the one in which you hurt him. You wanted to go back to a year ago when everything was good and sweet.

His eyes watered up, and he looked down. You thought he was running away from you, and you were desperate for him to stay, so you reached out to grab him and stop him. This was when you noticed that he had his hand around the base of his cock, just frozen like that. You saw the condom ring against his soft skin.

You teared up. “Do it.”

He looked up at you, and you saw tears in his eyes as well. 

You smiled. “I never had anyone other than you raw. If you want to, I’d love to feel you again.”

He didn’t even blink. You were sure it was an impulse that made him pull the condom out and guide himself inside you as if he were a dying man and your core was his salvation. But as you both groaned and closed your eyes with the feeling of being connected again, you couldn’t care. His forehead touched yours as he pressed himself to you, groaning with the newfound feeling of having your wet walls around him, and you sighed. You looked at him with a tear sliding down your face into the pillow and knew that it would all just break your heart in the end.

He must have known it too, because his eyes were glistening and red as he thrust into you at a slower pace. You instantly wanted to beg, but he gripped you closer, jerking his hips into you in a hard yet loving way that melted you to the bone.

“Fuck,” you dragged, trying to look up so you could see him above your legs still bent to the side like when you were spooning. You could feel him all over you again, inside and out, in ways that felt like your souls were merging, and it had you entering a beautiful reverie. You gripped his arm harder and forced his hand on your chest to squeeze as you moved with him. “Don’t stop. Please, please, please,” you said with every moan, scared that he would pull away and leave you. “Only you feel like this, please.”

“Only me?”

He was breathless, you almost didn’t hear him over your whimpers. “Only you,” you confirmed, then you trembled, and the words dripped out of your mouth. “I’ve missed you so much. So much,” your voice smothered with anxiety and tears flowing from your eyes that you squinted shut.

You didn’t fear that he would reject, mock, or ignore you; you weren’t thinking. Your heart hurt, and you couldn’t keep it in anymore.

He slowed down, and you hid your face in your hands, immediately wanting to ask him not to stop while unable to voice it.

You felt his breath near your ear. “Me too. I’ve missed you, too, bubbles.” His voice wavered as he reached to kiss every inch of skin in range while his body covered you protectively. He brought your hand to his lips, uncovering your face gently. “I’ve missed everything. I’ve missed this.”

A sob almost silenced you, but you managed to call for him first, “Kook.”

It was a desperate sound you were almost ashamed to let out, so your hands instantly covered your face again. 

He paused, but in a second pulled your leg under him so he could get on top of you in between your legs and hold you tightly. He leaned in to kiss your hands away as his hips rocked into you gently.

His lips and calls convinced you to uncover your face, only to wrap your arms around him and hide in his neck. “I miss you!” you whispered with a lump in your throat. “Please.”

He kissed your red and wet cheeks, down to the salty traces that led into your hairline. “I miss you, too.”

Shivers ran down your body as his words resurfaced a knot from inside your chest. You could never face it, deal with it, or forgive him or yourself, but his words... The way he was with you, holding you close, just like he used to when he loved you. His body fully connected to yours again, maybe even his soul.

You sank your nails into his back and focused on his weight on you, his soft skin, his scent, and the burning tension in your lower stomach. You knew you would explode soon, but you needed to let it out.

“I wanted to see you.”

He kissed your head. “I’m here.”

“I needed to see you,” you tried, but the pleasure sparking inside you was about to steal that chance. So you hugged him closer — a moan was pushed out of you, and you could feel your orgasm starting, but you still chirped, “I love—”

You couldn’t finish as you started shaking uncontrollably from the waves of pleasure tensing and relaxing every muscle in your body. You clung to him, squeezing him so tightly you were surprised he didn’t break. But maybe he didn’t because you were holding him together.

He waited for you to be done before pulling out and coming over your belly. He didn’t bother separating your bodies and just groaned near your ear as you hugged him close. You could feel the warm cum trickling down the sides of your stomach but you didn’t care. You were never one to be bothered, you were not disgusted by him in the slightest.

He kissed your head, and you smiled, waiting and longing for his kiss to travel to your cheeks, then further to your mouth. When it did, you tried to control your happiness and kiss him back calmly, still letting that joy reach corners of you that were dim otherwise.

When he pulled away, you had no idea what would happen, but you were at ease. Because you opened up to him and he missed you back, and even though you couldn’t tell him properly that you still loved him, you’d surely have another opportunity soon.

That was what you thought, and the reason your lips were curved, even when he got away from you to grab wipes so he could clean you. Yet as he did, you noticed he wasn’t looking at you. His jaw was set, and he didn’t look nearly as relaxed as you.

Shit.

He wasn’t done yet when you tried to reach for his hand, but he dodged it. He threw the wipe away before putting his legs out of the bed to sit with his back to you, and you started shaking.

You croaked, “Not to ruin your post-nut clarity, but I’d like to talk.”

You chuckled nervously and fumbled with the sheet — everything you said felt risky, and every step you took felt like the ice under you would crack. You feared speaking too soon, but couldn’t risk doing it too late. You let those fears drown you once, but not again. At least this time, your mistake would be insisting, not letting it slide.

“Nothing to talk about.”

You knew from his tone that he was about to push you away, and it made you react. “That’s not true. I said I miss you, and you said it back.”

He didn’t answer; all you could see were his broad shoulders as he leaned forward, supported on his knees, and kept quiet.

You gave him the chance to speak his mind because maybe he needed time, and who knew, maybe you did too. But you couldn’t think as you waited; you had no idea what to say. Nothing felt enough, but you wanted to say everything.

Finally, he heaved a deep breath and moved a millimeter to get up, and you immediately pushed, “Answer me. Talk to me. Why can’t we have a conversation?”

He scoffed, “That’s rich coming from you.”

You sat up as he got up and searched for clothes in a nearby closet. He wouldn’t look at you, so you retorted, “It goes both ways.” 

Instantly, you bit your tongue and cursed yourself for reacting instead of thinking first — you didn’t want to fight, you wanted to talk. 

You took a deep breath and spoke while he put a pair of boxers on, “Do you miss me?”

He scoffed and left the room, and you jumped off the bed after him. You could only grab the nearest t-shirt you saw, black as everything else he owned, and scurried after him.

“Answer me,” you insisted, finding him in the living room, putting pants on. Where did those even come from? Every new layer of clothes was a new barrier between you and you snapped, “Fucking hell, Jungkook! Just answer me!”

“What?!” he exploded, turning to you, anger brazen on his features.

But you didn’t step back. “Do you really miss me?”

“No.”

You raised your chin and tried not to give away how your heart cracked further. You couldn’t think or you’d start crying. “Well, fuck you too.” Your voice still wavered. “Don’t fucking lie next time.”

You stomped to the bathroom to get your clothes so you could leave. Your heart was pulsing with sharp pain, and you knew you were seconds away from crying. You needed to get out. Now.

“You’re assuming I—”

“Yeah, yeah, no seconds,” you spat bitterly, unsure if he heard you. He shut up, so he did. You grabbed your clothes. “You don’t have to worry about that.”

A sudden noise from behind you startled you. Before you could strip, you turned around to check it — he had kicked the bathroom door with so much strength you thought it might have popped off its hinges.

“What the fuck do you want from me?!” he roared, scowling.

“How many times do I have to say it? A fucking conversation!”

“I have nothing to say to you!”

“Fine! You’ll lie anyway!”

You turned your back, letting the poisonous anger burn your guts while you got a hang of your dress so you could put it on.

When a loud noise came from the door again, you weren’t even surprised. This time, Jungkook punched it, and something metal fell on the floor and rolled away.

“As if you didn’t say those things in the spur of the moment!”

“I didn’t.” The nerves and anger were making you shake. It unnerved you even more that you were crying right now. You wiped your cheeks roughly, refusing to let the cry take over you. “I meant every word I said.”

“Bullshit,” his voice had so much contempt you almost broke down.

“I don’t care what you believe,” was all you said. You took the tee off. “Just because you lied, it doesn’t mean I did.”

He saw how your back bent and tensed while putting on your strapless bra. He was shaking in anger, but he heard you sniffle, and you didn’t sound like you were mocking him. He couldn’t handle it if it were true.

“Don’t joke around—”

“I’m not fucking joking.” You sounded angry now as you grabbed your dress to put it on. He closed his fists. “But it doesn’t matter, it’s done.”

You put your strapless dress back on, adjusting it to cover you as much as possible. You had no way of seeing how angry he was getting at the sight of you wearing that again instead of his clothes, but it was something he would never admit.

“You want me to believe you wanted to see me?” he asked quietly with the slightest hint of sarcasm.

You turned to him. “I did.”

“That you needed to see me?”

He scoffed, and you grabbed your heels from the floor. “I did.”

You turned back to him, thinking that maybe you could talk now, but he was shaking his head. You saw tears in his eyes before he started laughing and rubbing his face.

“It’s funny, is it?” you asked, filled with contempt yourself. “Why, you didn’t even hit the punchline yet.”

He uncovered his face, and his whole expression was a warning.

“What?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest. “If you’re going to mock me, then at least do it well.”

His jawline tensed again, but you couldn’t care anymore.

“Come on, where’s the final question? You heard me. You would be running your mouth if you didn’t.” You scoffed, “Though I couldn’t really say it properly, but—”

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

For a second, you thought he was scared. Still, you only smirked. “I don’t? You know what? You’re right. Congratulations, you’re right about something and all you had to do was be an asshole.” You stepped towards him to get out of the bathroom, but he didn’t move out of the way. “Let me go.”

He shook his head, and you ignored all kinds of emotions on his face.

You pushed him, but he didn’t move. “Let me go.”

“No.”

You pushed his shoulders again, but he didn’t budge. You clenched your jaw, upset, and saw that it didn’t bother him in the slightest. In fact, maybe he liked it. You pushed him once more, and he tried grabbing your arms, and you struggled.

He won — he grabbed your forearms. “What did you say?” You scoffed, and he pulled you so close, his hot breath fanned your face. “Tell me what I was supposed to have heard?”

“I said I—” 

You were ready to spit it in his face, but your throat blocked as you looked into his eyes. You were both angry and hurt, and you thought you had risen above it, but no. If you repeated it, it would hurt infinitely more. But then it hit you — he just used you. He was attracted to you and wanted an easy fuck, and that was what that night was. You were hung up on him like a moron.

You teared up, but you made a decision — it would be easier if he just crushed your heart right now. So you breathed, “I said I love you.”

He released his hold on you instantly as if you burned, and you scoffed. You guessed you did — this Jungkook in front of you clearly couldn’t handle something like that. He was a fuckboy now.

You pushed him again, and he didn’t resist, falling to the side and letting you pass. You started looking around — you couldn’t recall where you had thrown your purse.

“I said, don’t joke around.”

His voice was barely above a whisper, and you didn’t stop. You started throwing sofa pillows around. “And I said I’m not joking. And I don’t lie either, contrary to you.”

“You have no idea what you’re saying.”

You brushed your hair out of your eyes with a sigh; it wasn’t on the couch. “You’re starting to sound like a broken record.” You continued looking around, maybe in the kitchen? “What does it matter anyway? I get it — why you lied. I was being emotional and you wanted an easy fuck.” You huffed; not there either. “You got it, so you want me to leave now, right? Don’t worry, I want to, I just can’t find—”

He roared and punched the wall, making the coat hanger fall to the floor. “You talk and talk and talk but you still don’t know what you’re fucking saying!”

You got over your shock quickly and threw your shoes on the floor angrily. “It would help if you fucking talked instead of breaking the place!”

“I can’t fucking talk when you’re driving me insane!”

You scoffed, “Me? Maybe you are just insane!”

He stepped closer to you with a dangerous look. “Watch your mouth.”

“Why? What will you do?” 

You rolled your eyes when he only took a deep breath in response. When you looked back at him, he was closer. You instantly tensed up, though not in a bad way. He was eying you in that way that had you crazy needy, wanting to grab onto him as you jumped on his lap and restarted everything all over again.

But you stood your ground. “You’re not touching me again.” Your lips pulled in contempt. “Not like that. No sloppy seconds, right? So surely no thirds or fourths or—”

He stepped forward, ready to grab you, and you gave him your most disgusted look.

“Don’t touch me. Don’t look at me, don’t even think about using me again.”

You were out of breath, spitting venomous words while your eyes were locked, but in an instant, something wet dripped down your cheeks. You breathed, and instantly recognized the pain searing your heart. It hurt. It hurt too much.

Your sob had you sucking breaths anxiously and you gave him your back. You didn’t want him to see how much it hurt you.

“I’d never use you,” you heard quietly from behind you.

“Then why am I here?” you asked as your trembling fingers hid your face.

“Because…” 

He heaved a deep breath. It was complicated, and he was so conflicted that he wanted to punch something again. But seeing your shoulders tremble as you contained your cry, his mind cleared. 

“Because I wanted to be with you.”

“Right,” you snorted despite the tears. “Wasn’t fucking in a dark alley enough? Why did you bring me here?”

“To be with you.”

“Say it properly. To fuck.” He didn’t answer and you sucked in a deep breath. “Or maybe… maybe something worse. Not just to use me, did you want to hurt me? Is this some sort of… vengeance or—?”

“No!” He raised his arms to your shoulders level, but didn’t touch you. You didn’t want him to.

You smiled wryly. “Lying again? Fuck, I never knew you like this.”

“I’m not lying.” 

“Bullshit.” You almost laughed despite your crying and sniffling.

“It’s the truth.”

“Why should I believe you?”

He gritted his teeth behind you and gripped his hair in frustration. He was never the best at saying things, he always showed you better. He wished he could turn you around and get that stupid dress off you so he could cover you in his t-shirt again. He wished he could kiss your tears and hold you again like there wasn’t a mountain between you. He wished he could have you lying on his bed again, saying those sweet things that shook him to his core. He wished he could see your smile again as you drank your honey oat milk latte just the way you liked it, because he made it for you. Fuck, he wanted that and so much more, but none of it would happen. He still hated you.

“Give me one good reason why you even talked to me back at the club,” you asked, more poised now that you had stopped crying and wiped your cheeks. 

You turned to face him, and he looked almost like he was in pain, but you only blinked your wet lashes calmly. Your nose, eyes, and cheeks were still red, but he knew you were crying. You were both hurting; you knew there was no point in hiding it.

His eyes moved over your face before he said, “You looked beautiful.”

You scoffed, “Right… Beautiful enough to fuck easy, ri—?”

“Stop saying that!”

“Why? Cause you can’t handle the truth?”

“Cause it’s fucking bullshit!” He smacked his fist on his palm, then opened both as if he could shake you to your senses. “You think fucking you is easy? You think wanting you and bringing you here was fucking easy? I gave in! I saw you, you said those things, and I had to have you!”

“You didn’t have to bring me here.”

“No, I didn’t!” He agreed with you, and it made him swallow and take a breath from his shouting. “I did it for my own selfish reasons.”

“And what were those? If not to use me, not to hurt me or exact some sort of vengeance,” you enumerated with your fingers, perhaps a bit pettily, but you wanted to understand. However, he didn’t seem interested in sharing — he had turned his back on you and stepped away to have space. “Then what for?”

He grunted and rubbed his face harshly before turning to face you. “Why do you complicate everything? I answered you already — to be with you. That’s all.”

You frowned and puffed; that answer left you even more unsettled for some reason. “That doesn’t make any sense.” He threw his hands in the air, and you insisted, “You wanted to be with me? Then why not let me finish blowing you?”

He scoffed and shook his head. “Thought you would have figured it out by now.”

Your frown deepened in annoyance, but it didn’t take long to hit you. “Because… you didn’t want to use me?” His only response was a twitch of his eyebrows. “Then why not let me cum? When you ate me out?”

He puffed a breath as his nostrils flared, but he still answered you, “Cause I was pissed.”

“Why?”

“Why?!” Your question made it worse. “'Cause you spoke to me like I was nobody!”

Your chin dropped. “What?”

“You spoke like it could have been anyone else eating you out and making you crazy, and it made me want to tear you apart!”

You were shocked, looking at him, and it infuriated him even more. He tried his best to keep his cool as he paced the living room — why were you making him feel inadequate? Like he was blowing something out of proportion when it meant so much to him?

“That's— I don't get it,” you tried, confused. “I wanted you to know how good you felt—”

“You called me baby!” he shouted again, and you blinked. 

“So?”

“So?!” He kicked the back of his couch. “The most fucking generic term I’ve ever heard! Do you know how many people have called me that? Made me despise them every time!”

“But I've called you that before,” you pointed out, still confused. It was one of your nicknames for each other.

“You called me something else.”

His tone was suddenly sober, and you instantly knew what he meant. “Kook.”

“Yes.”

He wouldn’t tell you how much he was hung up on it. He wouldn’t let anyone else call him that; he kicked out any women who tried. Just hearing it from your mouth now gave him goosebumps. It was who he was to you, who he wished he had been for his whole life.

You looked at each other while you recalled calling him baby in the heat of your shared intimacy. You never meant it in a general way; you meant it endearingly. But you had called him Kook earlier, and remembering it twisted your guts. 

You sighed and rubbed your eyes briefly — you had decided to crush your heart then and there. You weren’t leaving his place without bloodshed, so there was no point in hiding.

“I was scared of calling you that,” you admitted, facing him again despite your fears. “I was scared of exposing myself like that.”

“Well, I did.” His grin was a sneer, but you couldn’t understand why. Why would what you called him hurt him if he didn’t care? “So that was like a punch to my gut. Or maybe… maybe you didn't even notice that I called you—”

“Of course, I fucking noticed,” you blurted out, something akin to desperation on your features. “I noticed, and it made me completely lose my mind!”

He leaned forward, gripping the couch’s back, squeezing it tightly. “Not enough to expose yourself to me.”

“I was scared! You still hate me, I was—” Your words dawned on you, and you swallowed the lump in your throat. “I was scared.”

He scoffed, “Scared of what?”

“You know what,” you answered, uneasy.

“I do. See why you have no idea what you’re saying? You just blab and assume shit” He let go of the leather couch, and you thought he could have thrown it around if he wanted to. “The difference between you and I is that I knew who I was choosing.” His features hardened, and you fought the urge to look small. “You said you wanted to do this, and I chose you.”

Your eyebrows twitched. “You’re trying to say I didn’t? Please.” You rolled your eyes. “Because I didn’t call you Kook sooner? You know better than that. I walked up to you, spoke to you, told you I wanted to be with you, came here with you, told you no one is like you, that I missed you, that no one makes me—” You huffed and bit your lip; you weren’t sure about saying any more than you already had.

His eyes were glistening, but his grin was almost cruel. “You don’t look so scared now.”

You frowned before raising your chin. “No, I guess I’m not. I was until this morning when I thought—” Your lips twitched. “But that was fake,” his eyes snapped to yours, and you stood still, “right? You lied. You never missed me, so what does it matter if you called me bubbles?” You scoffed, but your eyes filled with tears again. “Why call me that if you never meant it?” You shrugged. “I have nothing to fear anymore. It’s all fucked, I don’t think it can hurt more than this.”

His jaw was clenching hard while you spoke, and he walked around. You thought he looked like a ticking time bomb with his biceps rhythmically reacting to his fists opening and closing.

“Well, I fucking wish it did,” he spat. “It seems like nothing I do can hurt you, right?”

“Are you serious?”

“I’m fucking serious!”

“Do I not look hurt to you?!”

“I want you to hurt at least a fraction of what it hurts me!” He punched the couch, but your watering eyes only hurt him more. “But all I managed to do was hurt myself even more!”

“You’re hurt?” You couldn’t hide your skepticism.

“What do you think?! Fuck, you’re so fucking selfish you can’t see anything in front of your nose!”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “Happens with liars. It’s hard to distinguish—”

“Shut up!” He turned to you, and you squeezed your arms for comfort. “What does it matter if I missed you? If every fucking word out of my mouth was the truth and I called you bubbles because of what you fucking mean to me? Look at you!” You were shaking now with tearful eyes. “Acting like a fucking abandoned puppy! You left!”

“What?”

“You left! You were the one who left!”

Your heart shook, and you became pale. “That was— You mean—?”

“Yes!”

“But— You—” You were so confused. “You knew I’d leave!”

“What the fuck does that matter?! You said no, and you left!”

Your heart instantly halted. “That’s— That’s something else entirely—”

“Yeah, right!” You shuddered with the venom in his voice. Yet he continued, “I was ready, I made my choice, and you broke my heart!”

You were shaking and gripping your hands to soothe yourself. “I wasn’t ready.”

“You said no!”

His tone was accusatory, and your chin trembled as old feelings and memories swamped you. 

Only this time, you took a deep breath and snapped back, “Listen to yourself! That day, I told you I was going to the US to work for a year, and you asked me to marry you! Does that make sense?!”

He had paced to his desk and as soon as you finished, he grabbed his gaming chair and threw it to the ground.

“You said no! You could have said something else! You could have said not yet or let’s talk or— I don’t know, just anything else! But you said no!!”

“Well, fuck, what was I supposed to say?! I had that job opportunity, and you were going too fast!”

He sneered, “Fast?”

“Yes, fast! We weren't together for even a year yet!”

“I don't care! I fucking knew I wanted to spend the rest of my my life with you! And you said no!”

“I said I love you!”

He kicked the chair on the floor. “And it wasn't enough!”

“No, it wasn't!” You stepped forward, wanting to punch something yourself. “Clearly! You’re fucking mad I said no, but what about you?! You fucking dropped off the face of the earth! You knew the dates of my contract, I forwarded the flight information to you, and you never spoke to me again! You didn’t even say goodbye!”

“What goodbye?! What bigger goodbye do you need than rejecting me when I’m on my knees for you?!”

“Stop being so fucking self-centered!” He started laughing, but you were not done. “I said I loved you. I wanted to be with you, and you threw a tantrum like a child!”

“A tantrum?” He was still laughing, and you’d recognize that bitterness anywhere.

“Be honest,” you breathed. “Would you have come with me?”

His laughter died. “What?”

“You heard me. And if you couldn’t, would you have waited for me?”

His eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights, and you let the tears fall from your eyes.

“I never got to ask,” you continued in the silence. “You never replied to me again. I always thought that your not answering was your answer. That you never wanted to see me again because if I wouldn’t marry you like you wanted, then you wanted nothing to do with me.”

He finally breathed, “That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it?” You smiled and wiped your cheeks. “Then why is that the only thing you say? That I said no? I never meant no forever, I never meant that I wouldn’t in the future. But I needed that opportunity to build my career, I needed that sacrifice from you, and you turned your back on me.”

“No, I—” His mouth opened and closed, but he couldn’t find the right words. “Because— Because I thought you wanted to just— To just leave me behind.”

“Behind? As if I wasn’t leaving my heart with you? Tell me, did you ever think about asking me? About talking to me?” His lips twitched in hesitation, and your lips curved painfully. “Right.”

“I wanted to,” he admitted, but you shook your head in disbelief. “I wanted to, but I felt broken. You left me and rejected a future with me. You didn’t want me. What point was there in reaching out to you?”

“I wish you had. Maybe it wouldn’t have worked, but a part of me likes to believe we would have made it. One year was a long time, but not the end of the world. For you, I would have done it.”

You nodded and looked at his feet for a moment. None of you would ever know now, but you believed it. You were at peace with at least having voiced that to him.

You looked up at him and saw as clear as day how lost he was. He was gripping his hair with pain across his features, maybe something else. He was still shirtless in front of you, a Greek God in all his glory, yet your eyes couldn’t abandon the soft curls of his hair. Now that everything was out there, you were sort of melancholic. You’d miss him.

“Fuck,” he dragged in a grunt. “Is this what you wanted? To find me again and break me?”

You chuckled. “What the hell are you saying? I never thought I’d see you again. And if I did, I expected to find you married to the woman of your dreams.”

He groaned and rubbed his face before facing you. “You— You’re the woman of my dreams!”

Your lips trembled, but you stayed quiet; you had no idea where any of that left you.

“I can’t believe this,” he let out, then scoffed. “No, I’m in too deep now. You could have reached out, too. You could have told me all this and asked me before, but instead, you just left. Because you didn’t want me.”

You shook your head. “I called you!”

“For like two days! How long do you think it took to heal from you leaving me?”

“I don’t know! From what I’ve heard, you’ve been more than comforted, you probably healed very fast!”

“Oh fuck off,” he spat with harsh eyes. You regretted letting those feelings surface, but it was too late. “You left me after rejecting me, I was free to do whatever I wanted and screw whoever I pleased.”

“You’re right, forget I said that.”

He laughed, “Nah, that’s just you. Worried about whether I’ve been well-fed or not. Why? Thought that would make it easier?”

“What?”

“I don’t know, to get me crazy again.”

You couldn’t help but smile. “I did drive you crazy.” His eyebrow twitched over a dark gaze, and you quickly sobered up. “But that’s not what I meant.”

“You’re fucking incredible, you know that?” He could be spitting those words for all intents and purposes.

“No, I meant that after I called you, I took your silence as—”

“No, no, fuck that. Excuses, all of it. You saw me on my knees and butchered my heart, then left days later for another country. If you cared, you would have done more.”

“You act like you don’t have arms and legs yourself.”

“And you act like a damsel in distress when you’re anything but.” He was in front of you now, and you faced him. “I still hate you, you know.”

Your lips trembled, and you looked down with a sour smile. You did realize it, but it didn’t make it any easier. “I know.”

You were focused on mapping your conversation and seeing if there was anything you could tell him that could clarify things when he scoffed.

“No, scratch that,” he said wryly. You looked up and saw him running his hand through his hair. “I fucking hate the way you just tried to bring me down to my knees again.”

You gasped, “I didn’t—!”

“I hate that I brought you here 'cause I wanted to see you here, in my home, as if that could bring back what we once were. I hate that I gave you what you wanted, even if it hurt. I hate that I called you bubbles as if you’re still that person. I hate— I fucking hate you, I can’t—”

His voice broke down, but you had already heard too much. You couldn’t face him anymore and hid in your hands, feeling your spirit draining in the form of tears.

“I understand,” you voiced between convulsive breaths. Your sight was blurry, but you knew the way out. Your purse didn’t matter anymore; you went around him. “I’ll leave—”

You weren’t expecting him to grab your hands and crush his mouth to yours, but you didn’t fight him. You let him kiss you desperately and did the same, all while the tears kept streaming down your face.

“Don’t fucking leave,” he whispered to your lips, pressing his forehead to yours. “I can’t stand the thought of you walking out. Not again.”

Your shoulders shook underneath the pain you were trying to bury. “But you hate me.”

His hands pressed you firmly to him, not letting you move away, and the only sound you both could hear was you trying to control your sobs. It broke him to see you cry, it always did. He didn’t know what to do. No matter how hard he tried, there was this poison inside him that gushed out every time anyone reached that deep inside that festering wound. It was all breaking apart again, and he wanted everything to go to hell, but looking at you, he knew that wasn’t true.

You sniffled. “If you hate me and I love you, then we're not on the same page.”

His heart shook like his world could crumble at any moment. “Don't leave.”

“I have to.” You grabbed his shoulder and faced him, finally accepting it. “So you can find the woman of your dreams.”

“You are the woman of my dreams.”

You chuckled sadly. “You hate me, Kook. You’ll find someone better, trust me.”

“No, I don’t want anyone else.”

You brushed his cheek, committing his sweet features to memory. “You’ll be happy. It’s okay.”

“No.” He gripped you firmly, wrapping his arms around your waist as he shook his head. He whispered, “Don’t leave.”

“Why would I stay?”

“Because I don’t hate you. I can’t,” his voice trembled with tears that didn’t flow down his cheeks, but down yours. “I hate myself for not being able to, for pretending, for even trying when I’m so—”

His voice blocked, and you reached for him. “Say it… Please say it, don’t hold back.” Your plea made your voice waver, and you tangled your fingers in his hair behind his ears. “If you don’t say it, then I won't know what to believe anymore.”

“Fuck.” He closed his eyes, fighting to the last moment all those conflicting emotions within him. But then you nuzzled his nose, holding him closer. Waiting. You weren’t leaving this time until everything was said and done, and he almost blurted it out. “I can’t. I can’t hate you, I love you. I could never forget you but you left me behind and I fucking hated everything. Because I love you, because I lost you, because I was lost and I still am. What the fuck do I do?”

You cradled his cheeks. “I’m here.”

“No, you’re not.” He moved away and forced himself to take a deep breath. Then, he turned to you. “You’ll walk out again. I fucked up. We fucked up, but I fucked up. Right? I spent a year trying to hate you, loathing myself for not being good enough. For being so sure you were the one, while you discarded me so easily, like I was worthless. But I never bothered to hear your side. I never had the guts to ask. You broke my heart… but I broke yours too.”

Your chin was trembling, but you didn’t move closer. He seemed to need the space.

“I’m sorry,” you breathed. He rubbed his face, and your tears trailed down again. “I’m so sorry I hurt you. I was stupid and immature, and you’re right. I knew my heart was staying here with you, I should have tried to reach out. The truth is, I panicked. I was afraid that seeing you again would have made me give up on my dreams, but… you were never mutually exclusive. I thought you wouldn’t want anything but a yes, so I… was too scared to talk about it. I’m sorry I was a coward and ran away like that. I should have faced you and been clear about what I wanted and needed. Instead of hurting you and making you believe I didn’t think you were the one. When I knew I wanted to be with you and that—” Your voice wavered as you sniffled and tried to stay leveled. “Then maybe I wouldn’t have tried to look for you in everyone else or stayed hung up on thoughts of you and—” He chuckled, but it was laced with pain, and you shook your hands. “No, I’m not blaming you!”

“I know.” He revealed his face, with red, swollen eyes and wet cheeks. “I’m blaming myself. I spent so long trying to hate you, blaming you for everything under the sun in stupid attempts to make it hurt less. When in truth, I was just too prideful to reach out and ask. I had no solutions, no patience, just a lot of anger and frustration. I’m an idiot. And an asshole. Look at how I treated you. I can’t face you without hating my fucking stupidity—”

“Ours,” you stepped forward, hesitant to touch him but with your hands raised nonetheless. “If you want to hate something, then—”

He grabbed your hand and pulled you in. “I won’t pretend to hate you anymore.”

“Then don’t hate yourself either,” you said as he took your hand to his lips.

“I’ll try… since it’s you asking.”

Your lips trembled into a smile at how he gently brushed his lips to your hand. “I’m happy we talked about it. I’m happy to hear that you still have feelings for me, though I wouldn’t want to assume—”

“Assume.”

You stayed quiet, hesitantly looking into his brown eyes as he sprinkled kisses on your knuckles.

“Jungkook—”

“Assume, bubbles.” You pressed your trembling lips, and he brushed your cheek with his fingers. “Assume I love you and don’t want you to leave.”

Your heart was shaking; you were hoping, but— “Are you sure?”

He closed his eyes for a moment. “I’m sure. I just don’t know how to deal with this. I don’t want to hurt you, but there’s so much we need to talk about.”

His eyes were pleading, and you squeezed his hand. “If you could forgive me, that would be a great start.”

He sighed. “I don’t think that’s the problem.”

“Yourself?”

“Slightly more complicated.”

You smiled. “Same.” You stayed quiet, just looking at each other, when you decided to tell him, “I wish we could… forgive our mistakes and restart. We could get to know each other again. See if… If it would work.”

“You don’t think it would?”

You supported his hand on your cheek. “I think we still have feelings for each other.” He held your gaze, and you felt your cheeks burning under his touch. “But maybe that also means it will be difficult to heal our wounds.”

He nodded calmly, observing your face. “Do you… hate me? For what I did? For never replying to you or fighting for you.”

“No,” you instantly reassured him. “I thought you made a decision and that you wanted to move on from me. That’s a rejection, but that's life. You didn’t cheat or lie or anything like that.”

He sighed. “That’s true… maybe that’s why I could never truly hate you either.”

You couldn’t help but smile. “We… rejected each other, thinking the other was doing it first.” You chuckled. “We’re both idiots.”

He wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you closer. “A mistake. It was all a mistake.” He pursed his lips, then gently brushed your hair behind your ear. “Your ‘no’... You never meant forever?”

You grinned. “No. Though I don't need a ring around my finger to know who I belong to. Do you?”

“Who do you belong to?”

You smirked playfully. “I think you know him.”

He sighed and let you brush your fingers around his neck in an attempt to tickle him before lacing your arms around his neck.

“I would have waited,” he finally said, seeing closely how your smile wavered and your eyes filled with tears. “I couldn’t drop everything to go with you, but I would have definitely made it work and visited you whenever I could.”

Your lips trembled, and you tried to contain your cry, but your tears won. Jungkook pulled you to hide in the crook of his neck, and you squeezed him inside your arms.

“Are you… going back?” He realized he didn’t know. “Or are you staying? In Seoul?”

“I got a position here, I’m starting next month.”

He sighed with relief. “I want to try.” His voice was close as he supported your head and leaned over your ear. “Us. I want to try.”

Shivers ran down your spine as you pressed him to you. “Me too.”

[lo1k-diamonds]

Thank you for including Bubbles 💜

Completed Tumblr Fic Recommendations Part Nine

@lachimolala7

When I'm With You

@ladyartemesia

Hands on Learning Heart of the Storm Once Upon a Bracelet

@latetaektalk

After I Left You (Road) Tripping For You

@lavishedinjimin

Brother's Best Friend

@letspurpletogether

Teasing

@littlemisskookie

Learning the Hard Way

@livefree-and-diestrong

The Most Beautiful Moment in Life

@lookingforluna

Have a Nice Day

@lovelyyyoongi

What Are Best Friends For

@lovieku

Hands on Me Motherfuckin' Train Wreak Obvious Older Ordinary Things

@lo1k-diamonds

Bubbles

@mailby

Dom

@mercurygguk

Cockblocked

@matchagator

Clash Confessions and Confetti

@milfgyuu

Cherry Bomb

@mimithings97

How to Make Him Cum 101

@minisugakoobies

Covert Affair Joyride Mugs & Kisses New Year, New You The Hook Up Timezones

@minlucent

Block Party Something New

@miscelunaaa

Spin Cycle

@missgeniality

A Date With Destiny Strip Lawyer

@mochilatae

Cherry

@moni-logues

Across a Crowded Room Up All Night Sweet Dreams Thirteen Rounds

@moonscriptsx

Sketch

@msnanu

Life Twist

@muniimyg

All At Once Bed Chem

[kcake555]

Suga cake 🍰

bts

[lukola4evs]

For the dumbass bitches holding court over the Lukola fandom.….

we’re not saying don’t ship them. The realistic ones of us still do for fucks sake.

we are saying stop deluding your echo chambers into believing there is a bts romantic relationship, a secret marriage, or a non existent pregnancy happening.

are y’all that dumb that you can’t understand that’s the message we’re trying to get through to your thick ass skulls!? You can interpret morsels to the nth degree but can’t take words at face value. Love that.

if anything of pertinence comes out to change that narrative, cool. We will celebrate that. but we’re not gonna ignore the last activities from oct-now to stay in a happy bubble we’ve made up in our head like fanfiction you guys won’t stop writing every day. Let alone the stuff that’s come from their friends and families that you won’t acknowledge because it doesn’t work with your fanfic.

keep calm homies.

[wingsofeuphoria]

IDOLIZE - Chapter 5 -

Mature 18+

(Ongoing Fanfiction)

Pairing: Jungkook x Y/N

side characters: Cat x Nicholas

Link to chapter 4: https://www.tumblr.com/wingsofeuphoria/779309206821109760/post-by-wingsofeuphoria-1-image

- Chapter 5 -

Word count: 5.7k

The morning came too quickly, the bright sunlight streaming through the curtains and pulling me from my dreams. I blinked against the harsh light and groaned, reaching for my phone to check the time.

It was nearly 10 AM.

I quickly sat up, my heart racing a little. Cat had already jumped out of bed, and I could hear her rummaging through her bag, likely picking out something to wear. I stretched, trying to shake off the lingering exhaustion from last night's events, but my mind kept drifting back to Jungkook and the kiss.

What did it mean? Was it just a drunken moment, or was there something more to it?

Before I could overthink it too much, Cat's voice broke through the fog of my thoughts. "Y/N! We're supposed to meet the guys in, like, an hour! Are you awake yet?"

I quickly got out of bed and started getting ready, but my hands were shaking a little as I chose my outfit. The reality of everything hit me harder this morning. We weren't just at some K-pop concert; we were about to spend the next week with BTS and &TEAM in Korea. The whirlwind of last night felt like something out of a dream, but it was real.

And I was still trying to figure out how to handle it all.

I tossed on a cute, oversized hoodie and a pair of comfy jeans, knowing the day ahead would be another adventure. I wasn't sure what to expect, but it felt like every second of this trip was going to be more surreal than the last.

As I finished getting ready, Cat bounded over, looking extra excited. "Are you ready for the hotel? I can't believe they're putting us up in a 5-star place!"

I shot her a grin, trying to hide how nervous I felt. "Yeah, it's going to be amazing. But let's not forget, the guys are really going out of their way for us. We should make sure we don't make them regret it."

Cat laughed, spinning around. "Are you kidding? They're probably just as excited about us being here as we are about being here. I mean, seriously, Y/N—do you think Jungkook will call you today? Like, for real?"

I raised an eyebrow, giving her a teasing look. "You're asking me that? You kissed Nicholas last night, girl. What are you expecting to happen?"

Cat's face flushed bright red, but she quickly recovered, a playful smirk on her lips. "I don't know, but... you know, I kind of hope he calls. Or at least texts. I'm not going to lie, I really want to see him again."

I grinned at her. "Well, you've definitely got a shot. He was so into you last night. He said he loves Portugal, Cat. That's basically a green light."

Her eyes went wide as she squealed. "I'm not going to survive this week. I swear."

"Me neither," I said, feeling the same excitement bubbling inside me. "But for now, let's just enjoy it. Whatever happens, happens. We'll just go with the flow."

"Agreed!" Cat said, already pulling her shoes on and grabbing her purse. "Let's go meet them at the hotel!"

As we left the Airbnb, I couldn't help but feel the sense of anticipation rise in my chest. This was real now. We were about to walk into another chapter of this incredible adventure.

When we finally arrived at the hotel, the first thing I noticed was how luxurious the lobby was—high ceilings, gold accents, and glass chandeliers. I felt a little out of place in my casual outfit, but the guys didn't seem to mind at all. They were waiting for us in the lobby, looking just as cool and composed as they had the night before.

Jungkook was the first to spot us, his eyes lighting up with that familiar warmth. "Hey," he greeted, his voice soft but undeniably affectionate. I felt my heart flutter at the sight of him, the memory of last night still fresh.

"Good morning!" I replied, my voice slightly more nervous than I wanted it to be. I couldn't help it. Being near him felt... different. And I wasn't sure if it was just the alcohol from last night or something more.

"Good to see you both again," Jungkook said, giving us a warm smile. "I hope you're ready for a relaxing day. The hotel is all set, and we've got everything covered for the week."

"We still can't believe this is real," I said, trying to keep my cool. "Thank you for everything. We're both really grateful."

Cat, ever the excited one, jumped in. "Seriously, thank you! We're living the dream right now!"

Jungkook chuckled and glanced over at the other members. "It's the least we could do. We wanted you to enjoy your time here."

The staff then led us to our rooms, and I was taken aback by how amazing everything looked—plush bedding, modern decor, the perfect view of the city. It was beyond anything I could have imagined.

Once we were settled into the suite, I looked over at Cat, whose eyes were practically sparkling. "I can't believe this is our life right now."

"I know," she said, shaking her head in disbelief. "I can't wait to see where this all goes. Maybe Nicholas will text me. Maybe Jungkook..."

I smiled, nodding. "Let's just take it one step at a time. We've got the rest of the week, and who knows what's coming next?"

As we settled in, I couldn't stop the whirlwind of thoughts running through my head. The next few days were bound to be just as crazy, and I couldn't wait to see what would unfold. But one thing was for sure—I was definitely not going to let this opportunity slip away.

The day passed in a blur. After settling into our luxurious hotel rooms, the excitement of everything settled in—too quickly. We had a little downtime to relax, but Cat and I couldn't shake the feeling of being in another world entirely. It was still hard to wrap our heads around the fact that we were here, in Korea, living out what had only existed in our dreams up until now.

As the evening drew closer, Jungkook texted me, and I felt my heart race when I saw his name on the screen.

Hey, how's the room? Hope you're getting some rest. Tonight's gonna be fun!

I quickly typed back, keeping it casual.

It's amazing. Thank you for everything. I'm still in shock, honestly.

The three dots popped up almost instantly as he typed back.

I bet. Just wanted to make sure you were comfortable. Let me know if you need anything.

I smiled at the phone, my heart still fluttering at how sweet he was. Even though we'd shared a kiss last night, this felt different. Like there was something more to it, but I wasn't ready to ask him about it just yet. I didn't want to ruin the magic of it all.

Cat, of course, was glued to her phone too, waiting for a message from Nicholas, but she was also bouncing off the walls with excitement. "Do you think we'll see them again tonight?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"I'm pretty sure," I said, trying to contain my own nervous energy. "Jungkook said something about going to a club tonight. And from what I gathered, they do this a lot while they're in Korea. So... yeah, we're probably going to run into them again."

Cat practically jumped up and down. "Are you sure we're even real right now? I mean, a club with BTS and &TEAM? I still feel like I'm dreaming."

"You and me both," I laughed. "But here we are."

⸻

Later that evening, we met up with the guys in the hotel lobby. This time, the vibe was more relaxed. Jungkook was there, looking effortlessly cool as usual, but there was something different about the way he was looking at me tonight. His eyes held a deeper warmth, and I couldn't tell if it was the lingering buzz from last night's kiss or just the undeniable chemistry between us. Either way, I was nervous, but in the best way.

Nicholas was also there, looking incredibly sharp in a black leather jacket, his usual charming smile on full display. Cat's face lit up as soon as she saw him, and I couldn't help but laugh at how smitten she looked. The two of them had such an easy connection, and even though I could tell she was still processing everything, she was happier than I'd ever seen her.

"We're gonna have so much fun tonight," Jungkook said, his voice laced with excitement as he turned to us. "You girls ready to experience Seoul nightlife?"

"Honestly, I don't think we're ever going to recover from this," I said with a grin, still trying to wrap my head around the fact that we were about to head to a club with them.

Jungkook laughed. "Well, I hope you're ready for a night you won't forget. Let's go."

⸻

The club was everything I imagined and more—packed with people, neon lights casting colorful glows over the crowd, the thumping bass vibrating through the floor. As we walked in, it was like stepping into a whole new world. The guys were used to the attention, walking with an air of confidence that only stars like them could pull off. But even so, I could tell they were genuinely enjoying themselves.

As the night went on, I couldn't shake the way Jungkook kept looking at me. It was like there was this unspoken connection between us. We'd shared so much last night—our first kiss, the lingering tension—but tonight, it felt different. Like there was something more than just the physical attraction.

Cat and Nicholas seemed to be in their own world, deep in conversation, and I couldn't help but smile at how easy and comfortable they were with each other. Nicholas was making her laugh, his attention fully on her, and I was happy to see her so relaxed.

Meanwhile, Jungkook and I stayed close, a subtle tension hanging between us. I could feel his eyes on me often, but neither of us spoke about it directly. It was like we were dancing around the truth, unsure of what it meant but unable to ignore it.

"You okay?" Jungkook asked me softly, his voice barely audible over the music.

I nodded, my heart skipping a beat. "Yeah. Just... this feels unreal."

He chuckled, his lips curving into a small smile. "It's crazy, huh? I didn't expect any of this either. But I'm glad you're here."

We stood together, letting the music wash over us, neither of us saying much but the weight of everything hanging in the air. I wasn't sure what was coming next, but I could tell we were both feeling it. The chemistry, the connection, the unspoken pull. It was hard to ignore.

As the night went on, I noticed Jungkook had been getting a bit closer, his hand brushing against mine a few times. I didn't pull away, letting the moment linger, unsure of what was going to happen but too drawn to him to stop it.

Eventually, the club started to quiet down, the energy shifting as people began to head out. Jungkook looked at me, his expression unreadable but intense.

"Let's get out of here," he suggested, his voice low. "I want to talk to you about something."

Without another word, I followed him, my heart racing as I tried to keep my cool. What was he about to talk to me about? Was this just another part of the whirlwind we were in, or was it something more?

As we left the club behind, the cool night air hit me immediately, refreshing and almost calming after the chaotic energy of the club. Jungkook and I walked side by side in a comfortable silence, the weight of the night slowly settling between us. Despite everything that had happened—the kiss, the moments shared—I could feel an underlying tension that wasn't there before. I wasn't sure what to make of it, but something about the way Jungkook was carrying himself made me uneasy.

We reached a secluded area near a quieter part of the city, an alley with a view of the sparkling skyline in the distance. It was private enough for us to speak freely without being interrupted. Jungkook stopped and turned to face me, his expression a little more serious than before. His usual confidence was replaced with a subtle vulnerability, and I couldn't help but notice how his brow was furrowed.

He shifted his weight uncomfortably, running a hand through his hair. "I... need to talk to you about something," he started, his voice steady but with a hint of hesitation.

My heart skipped a beat. The way he was looking at me—almost guarded, as if preparing for something heavy—immediately made me nervous. "What's wrong?" I asked softly, my voice matching the seriousness of the moment.

Jungkook took a deep breath and glanced around, making sure no one was near. "Look, I—" He stopped himself, clearly trying to find the right words. "I know this might sound weird, but I have to bring it up. It's something that's mandatory, and I don't want you to think I'm trying to hide anything from you."

I blinked, my confusion growing. "What do you mean?"

He hesitated again, his gaze locking onto mine with an intensity I hadn't seen before. "My company... they require that anyone I get close to, anyone I spend time with—like, intimately—has to sign an NDA."

An NDA? The words felt like a punch to my gut. My mind immediately raced through the possible implications of what that meant. "An NDA?" I repeated, my voice quieter now, trying to digest it all.

He nodded, his expression tightening as if he wasn't sure how to say the rest. "Yeah. It's... it's to protect us, protect the company. The public and the media, they—" He paused, looking like he was trying to find the right way to explain something that seemed almost foreign to him. "Fan culture can get toxic, especially in Korea. People can get obsessed. It's crazy. And I know true ARMYs, the real fans, are different, but my company doesn't take any chances."

I swallowed, the weight of his words hitting me harder than I expected. I wasn't naive—I'd seen the stories, the way fans could cross boundaries, especially in the K-pop world. But hearing it from Jungkook, hearing that this was something he had to do for his own safety, made me realize just how real the situation was.

Jungkook took a step closer, his eyes softer now, though the tension was still there. "I'm not saying I want to rush into anything or make things complicated. But I need to know if you're okay with that... if you can handle it." His voice dropped, just a little quieter, a hint of uncertainty creeping in. "I need to know if you want to keep seeing me, despite everything. Because if this goes public... it could cause problems for both of us. And I won't blame you if you don't want to deal with it."

His words hit me harder than I anticipated. A mix of emotions swirled in my chest—shock, understanding, a little sadness. I had already felt the pull of something real between us, something beyond just a one-night thing. But knowing how complicated things could get, how much he was risking just by being with me, made everything feel more fragile.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady my racing heart. I'd never been one to shy away from difficult situations, and I wasn't about to let this one scare me off. "Jungkook..." I started, my voice steady despite the million thoughts racing through my mind. "I get it. And I'm not here to make your life harder or more complicated. I know what fan culture is like. But I also know what I feel, and I'm not going to back out of this just because it's messy."

Jungkook's gaze softened, and I could see the relief in his eyes. He stepped closer, closing the distance between us until I could feel his warmth against me. "You're serious?"

I nodded, my eyes holding his. "Yeah. I'm serious. We're not doing anything wrong, and I'm not going to let anyone tell me how to feel about you. If that means signing an NDA to protect us, then I'll do it. But I need you to know, I'm not here for the fame. I'm here for you."

His hand reached out, gently touching my cheek as if trying to make sure I wasn't some sort of illusion. His fingers traced the curve of my face, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "You're incredible, Y/N."

Before I could respond, he leaned in, his lips brushing against mine in a soft, slow kiss. The kiss was gentle at first, almost like he was testing the waters again, making sure I was still there, still real.

When he pulled away, there was a lingering moment of silence, both of us taking in what had just happened. Jungkook's voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke again. "So, you're really okay with this? With everything? With me?"

I met his eyes, my heart pounding in my chest as I answered. "I'm okay with you, Jungkook. Just you."

The tension that had been weighing on us seemed to dissipate then, the air lighter between us. Even with everything that came with being close to him, even with the complications ahead, there was still something undeniable between us. And as crazy as it was, as overwhelming as it felt, I knew I was willing to take that next step.

As Jungkook and I reentered the club, the vibrant energy of the scene immediately enveloped us again. The sounds of the music and laughter filled the air, but it felt like a different world now. What had just happened outside lingered in my mind, both exhilarating and unsettling. I could feel the subtle shift between us—like a new layer had been added to our connection, something deeper, something unspoken.

The members of BTS were scattered around the club, still mingling, their laughter and chatter carrying over to where Jungkook and I stood. The bright lights, the thumping bass, everything that once felt so exciting now felt distant. I glanced up at him, his hand still holding mine, and he gave me a soft, almost shy smile in return.

"Everything okay?" I asked quietly, feeling like there was more he wanted to say but wasn't sure how.

Jungkook's gaze flickered around the club before he met my eyes again, a small nod answering my question. "Yeah. I'm glad we talked. I just... I'm not used to being so upfront like that."

I couldn't help but smile, understanding his discomfort. "I'm not used to it either. But I'm glad you were honest with me. I want to be part of this, Jungkook. You don't have to worry about me."

He squeezed my hand slightly, his lips curving into that signature smile that made my heart skip a beat. "Good. That's... really good."

The two of us walked back toward the others, my hand still in his, the atmosphere between us now a quiet bubble of warmth and unspoken understanding.

As we rejoined the group, Jimin shot a knowing glance my way, his mischievous grin hinting at the playful energy in the air. "You two finally come up for air?" he teased, his eyes twinkling with curiosity.

I rolled my eyes, but the flush on my cheeks betrayed me. "It's not like that," I said, trying to sound casual but failing.

"Oh, I think it totally is," Taehyung chimed in, winking at me. "You've got that glow, Y/N."

"Yeah, you do," RM added, his eyes scanning Jungkook and me with a knowing smile. "You two look good together."

Jungkook just laughed, clearly not used to this teasing but still looking at me with that soft smile. "Stop it, guys. We were just talking."

I chuckled at the banter, trying to keep the attention off us. "Just talking," I echoed, feeling my heart race all over again as I realized how much more this night had turned into something special.

After a few more minutes of mingling, Jungkook and I eventually found ourselves stepping aside again, the noise and flashing lights of the club still in full force but now quieter in my mind. He leaned in a little closer, his voice softer than before.

"Hey," he started, pausing for a moment as if choosing his words carefully. "You're sure you're okay with all this? I know it's a lot. The NDA, the secrecy... everything."

I glanced up at him, feeling the sincerity in his words. "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't okay with it," I replied with a small smile. "And honestly, I trust you."

Jungkook seemed to relax a little at my response, his gaze softening. He reached out, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear with the gentleness I hadn't expected. The touch sent a wave of warmth rushing through me, and I suddenly found myself hoping that this wasn't just another fleeting moment.

We both stood there for a few more moments, just taking in the night, before his phone buzzed in his pocket. He checked it quickly before looking back at me, his expression shifting.

"I have to head back to the guys. I'll catch up with you in a bit?"

I nodded, feeling a little bittersweet. The night had been a whirlwind, and I knew things were about to get even more complicated. But I couldn't deny how real everything felt now.

"Yeah, of course," I said, giving him a small smile. "I'll be around."

Jungkook gave me one last lingering look before walking back toward the group, leaving me standing there with a quiet excitement bubbling in my chest. This night had taken an unexpected turn, and I was still trying to process everything that had happened. But one thing was certain—whatever happened next, I was ready for it.

I slipped my phone out of my pocket, my fingers a little unsteady from the buzz of alcohol swirling inside me. With the night stretching on and the overwhelming newness of everything around me, I felt the need to check in with Cat, making sure she was doing okay. It was hard to focus fully on the scene around me with everything that had just happened between Jungkook and me, but my concern for my best friend outweighed everything else.

I quickly opened my messages and shot her a text: "Hey, you good? I didn't see you once I got back inside the club. I checked your location, and you're still here—just wanted to make sure you're okay."

I stared at the screen for a moment, waiting for the three little dots to show up. They never did. A part of me was still a little rattled from the conversation with Jungkook, but I tried to push it aside, focusing on my best friend and making sure she was safe. I figured she was probably in her own world, enjoying her time with Nicholas, but it didn't hurt to check.

A quick glance around the club showed the lights and the music still going strong, but something about it felt a little quieter now. My head buzzed with a mix of the alcohol and my own emotions, trying to process everything that had unfolded tonight. So, I walked over to the bar, feeling the familiar weight of my body working through the effects of the alcohol. I ordered a round of shots of soju to help ease my nerves, taking each one back quickly and efficiently.

I didn't feel quite drunk yet, but I was definitely buzzing, the warmth pooling in my chest with every shot. Just as I placed my empty glass down on the bar, Jungkook appeared next to me, his face a little softer now than when I'd last seen him. He ordered a highball, and I gave him a small smile as I leaned back against the bar.

"You drink anything other than soju?" I asked, my voice a little playful but still edged with a slight slur. The conversation from outside the club was still fresh in my mind, and I could feel the awkwardness between us start to fade with every sip of alcohol.

Jungkook glanced over at me, his lips curling slightly in a smile. "I actually don't drink soju much," he said casually, taking a sip from his drink as it arrived. "I prefer highballs. The carbonation and a little whiskey—it's simple, but I like it."

I chuckled, the sound airy and light. "Funny. I started drinking highballs because of you." I glanced up at him, trying to gauge his reaction. "Saw you drink them a few times during interviews, and I thought it looked cool."

He raised an eyebrow at me, clearly surprised, but his smile grew. "You've been watching me that closely?" He leaned in slightly, his voice lowering, like he was teasing but also genuinely curious. "I guess that makes us even. You're my first fan I've ever shared a drink with. I didn't think I'd ever find myself in a bar with someone like you."

The comment had me chuckling, a nervous giggle escaping from me. I felt strangely self-conscious, but also kind of lighthearted. "It's kind of wild, right? I mean, I'm standing here with Jungkook of BTS, having drinks, having this conversation..." I gestured around, my hand slightly unsteady, as I took another shot. "This definitely isn't something I ever thought would happen."

Jungkook laughed softly, the sound warm and easy, and he gave me a relaxed look as he took another sip of his highball. "Yeah, I get that. I've been trying to wrap my head around it too." His gaze softened slightly, his expression serious for just a moment. "But honestly, it's nice. I didn't expect this kind of connection tonight... with you."

I didn't know exactly what to say. The whole night had been a whirlwind, and now, standing there with Jungkook, the alcohol wasn't just making me feel buzzed—it was making everything feel a little bit more real, more intense.

Before I could respond, the sound of my phone buzzing in my pocket made me jump slightly. I pulled it out, hoping it was Cat's response, and saw that she had finally texted me back.

"I'm okay, just talking to Nicholas. I'm with him and the guys for a bit, but thanks for checking in. I'll be fine. Don't worry about me 😊"

I let out a soft sigh of relief, a small smile tugging at my lips. At least she was okay, and she seemed to be enjoying herself. I tucked my phone back into my pocket, turning my attention back to Jungkook, who was still watching me, a small, curious smile on his lips.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked again, a hint of concern creeping into his voice. "You look like you're deep in thought."

I nodded, feeling the weight of everything start to settle in. "Yeah... just thinking about how insane all of this is," I said, my words coming out a little slower now as the alcohol took effect. "How fast it's all moving... I don't even know what to think."

Jungkook took another drink from his highball, his eyes softening as he watched me, almost like he was studying me. "I know what you mean," he said quietly. "But right now, I'm glad you're here. And I'm glad I'm with you."

For a moment, everything else faded away. It was just me and Jungkook, standing at the bar, the club's noise a distant hum. It was strange, how everything felt so right but at the same time so confusing. But for the first time tonight, I didn't feel as uncertain.

It wasn't a dream anymore. Jungkook was real, and so was the connection between us.

"Me too," I said softly, giving him a small smile that felt genuine. "Me too."

The atmosphere in the club was intoxicating, the music vibrating through my body, pushing all thoughts of anything else out of my head. I had been drinking and dancing for hours now, and the buzz was starting to hit—my body warming with the rhythm, the lights flashing across my face, turning everything into a dreamy blur.

Jungkook was standing close to me, his hand on my waist, his movements smooth as he followed my steps. The way he danced was so effortless, like he'd done this a thousand times, but tonight, it felt different. The way his body was pressed against mine, the heat between us was undeniable, and every slight touch or glance seemed to send an electric charge through me.

The music was slower now, a sensual beat that wrapped around us both, pulling us into a rhythm that felt more intimate than anything I had experienced before. Our bodies moved in sync—hips swaying, hands lightly grazing—tension building with each passing second. The alcohol in my system made everything feel even more electric, the world fading away as I got lost in the moment with him.

His fingers gently brushed the back of my neck as he pulled me closer, and I could feel his breath warm against my ear. It was like the whole club had disappeared, leaving just the two of us in this private little bubble.

"Are you sure you can handle this?" he teased in my ear, his voice low, sending a shiver down my spine. His words were playful, but I could feel the hint of something deeper in them, the unspoken words lingering between us both.

smirked, meeting his gaze. "You're the one keeping up, Jungkook. I thought I'd have to show you how it's done."

A chuckle escaped his lips, and his fingers tightened on my waist. He spun me, the sudden movement catching me off guard as he pulled me back in, my chest colliding with his. His arms wrapped around me tightly, bringing me even closer, and I could feel his heart beating just as fast as mine.

The music thumped in my chest, the beat matching my pulse, and we were both so lost in the moment, in each other, that nothing else seemed to matter.

Minutes—or maybe hours—later, the song ended, and Jungkook pulled away just enough to look at me, his face flushed from the dance. His expression was hard to read, a mix of something playful and something deeper, something more vulnerable.

"Let's get some air," he said, his voice slightly breathless.

I nodded, my heart still racing as he led me to one of the private lounges in the club. The lounge was dimly lit, the plush sofas offering a comfortable escape from the pulsing energy of the dance floor. I sank into one of the seats, my head spinning with the combination of the alcohol and the chemistry crackling between us.

A few moments later, the sound of footsteps entering the lounge signaled the arrival of the rest of BTS. They were in high spirits, laughing, teasing each other, and making their way to the karaoke machine in the corner.

"Let's sing," Jin suggested with a grin, his eyes scanning the room. "Come on, Jungkook, you've got to join us!"

Jungkook glanced over at me, raising an eyebrow. "You in?" he asked, his voice a little softer now, still carrying that playful edge.

I shrugged, feeling the liquid courage coursing through me. "I'm always up for a little karaoke. But don't expect me to be as good as you guys."

The group gathered around, the sound of the karaoke machine starting up as one of the guys picked a song. The room was filled with laughter and casual conversation as we all waited our turn, but as soon as the music started, it was clear this wasn't just some fun casual activity. It was intense, intimate—everyone getting into it, letting go.

When my turn came, I barely hesitated, grabbing the microphone with a grin. I picked a song—Somebody—Jungkook's own solo. The guys were already talking amongst themselves, not expecting much from me as I slurred the first few words, but once I hit the chorus, something shifted.

I didn't know what it was—maybe it was the drink in my system or just the way the song felt in that moment—but I started singing, hitting every note perfectly, every high note with ease. My voice filled the room, smooth and controlled, and it was like the entire atmosphere shifted. Jungkook froze, his eyes locked on me, his mouth slightly open in surprise.

The guys all stared at me, their expressions a mix of shock and admiration. I hit the same notes Jungkook effortlessly sang, each one flowing from my mouth like I had been doing this for years.

When the song finished, there was a stunned silence. The room was still for a beat, before Jungkook laughed softly, shaking his head in disbelief.

"You've got a beautiful voice," he said, voice hushed, like he couldn't quite process what just happened. "I'm... impressed."

I grinned, feeling a little embarrassed but proud at the same time. "It's nothing. I only sing in the shower or after a few drinks," I admitted humbly, shrugging like it was no big deal.

But Jungkook couldn't stop looking at me. The other guys started clapping, clearly impressed by my talent, but it was Jungkook's gaze that lingered on me the longest. There was something in his eyes—admiration, maybe even awe—that I couldn't ignore. He was definitely more than impressed.

And I was pretty sure I was starting to fall a little harder for him... but I didn't want to admit it yet. Not here, not now.

[lo1k-diamonds]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you @mydisenchantedeulogy 💜

Share those beautiful WIPs. If you don't have one, share the idea that you're working on or the art.

So what I'm working on is...

Bubbles 🚀 Part 3

Your heart skipped a beat as you looked at him, who took his sweet time brushing your cheek and looking at you before finally pressing his lips to yours again. Neither of you had mentioned love again after the fight that led you to decide to try again. Feelings were left unspoken between you, but they felt real in the way you were together. Your heart soared as you kissed him, warm and fuzzy with his taste, his touch, his scent. He was so him, exactly who you wanted, that it was easy to get sidetracked.

Until his stomach growled, and he chuckled in the kiss, playfully kissing down your jaw. “Sorry, bubbles. It smells too good, and I’m starving. What did you make?”

You sighed when he left you to follow his nose to the kitchen. You told him what you had cooked, earning impressed and happy noises. But before he grabbed a bowl to serve dinner for you both, he turned around.

“What’s wrong?”

Tagging: @yoonia, @colormepurplex2, @pars-ley, @moonleeai, @anyamaris, @spideyjimin

WIP Wednesday

I'm a bit late putting this out, but better late than never. You know the rules. Share those beautiful WIPs. If you don't have one, share the idea that you're working on or the art.

Eden had her sights set on a rustic bookshelf in mid-tone brown that would complement the accent table that she had bought last summer. She did not have the vehicle to tote it, however, so she returned to the lobby empty-handed. If it was still there by the time Darry got off, then she would see if he would help her move it.

Billy was shifting through a circular rack of costumes and vintage party wear when Eden approached him.

“Find anything you like?”

He pulled a red sequin dress shirt from the rack and held it against his chest.

“What do you think? Does it look good on me?”

Eden snorted. “Groovy.”

She shook her head, helping him look.

“It might help me if you tell me what you're gonna dress up as,” Billy said.

Eden peeked up from the rack and smiled playfully at him as if to say “Wait and see.” Billy faked a pout. She returned to looking.

The majority of the costumes were from the 60s and 70s, but Eden was able to find one that was germane and familiar. She took it from the rack and showed it to him.

“What about this one? Everyone likes a good slasher.”

A look of familiarity crossed his features. It did not surprise her much. Everyone knew who Ghostface was. The costume came with a robe and mask, but it was a knockoff from the film.

“The mask is made of plastic though. Not really authentic,” she added.

“I never took you as a Stab fan,” Billy remarked.

“I like scary movies in general,” Eden clarified.

She did not dislike the Stab franchise, but like all horror movies, she gave it a fair chance. Billy took the costume from her, looked it over with uninterest, then put it back.

“No one likes a cheap copy.”

He winked at Eden, then returned to looking.

--

No pressure tags: @parker-but-not-peter, @roseshay102, @quinloki, @mishwanders, @the-resident-vampire, @ellswips, @nagumoan, @swamplinglvr, @burns-2000, @leftsidebonfire, @savage-rhi, @lo1k-diamonds and anyone else who wants to join.

[starjxsung]

“music should be kept as music and fashion events should be kept as fashion events” as if art hasnt always been used for political things……???? like political views going hand in hand with art, music, fashion etc is not a new thing why are people acting as if it is and putting it above their morals 😭 like i’m sorry but if you enjoy music from someone who’s clearly a known horrible person and you dont care abt artists you like collabing with them, maybe you should check yourself and your morals

being disappointed in a group you like because of how your morals align is NOTTTTT using them as a punching bag !!!!!!!! you’d be disappointed in a friend too if they put something else above morals, would you not? it’s not any different from being disappointed in a celebrity aside from the fact you don’t *really* know them, like you know your friend, but it can still hurt and be upsetting - puppy anon

This ! We cannot ignore the relationship that politics have to music and art alike. Let’s not act as though some of the most famous art pieces are not politically-motivated, or like we don’t have political influence within the sphere of music. BTS have attended and spoken at the United Nations I think twice now, their group leader is literally an ambassador for the Ministry of National Defense in Korea. They also met with US political leaders during AAPI heritage month. Kpop companies have shown a clear desire to want to penetrate into political spheres because they know the impact that their idols have. It makes more sense to ask musicians to take a stance rather than your average social media influencer, but unfortunately with the way the kpop industry is designed, people feel this need to protect them from the real world and keep them confined to their bubble of ignorance. Newsflash: your idols vote ! They are full grown adult men and they know what politics are !

The fact that me voicing my wish for more people to make use of the insane amounts of money they’re raking in from working with 8 different designer brands and collaborating with somebody so polarizing- has somehow turned into people concluding I’m using my favorite band in the world as a “punching bag” is beyond me. I know people want me to shut up and post fanfiction so they can also retreat to their comfortable little bubble and forget that all of this is happening, but my point stands- as it pertains to musicians, AND influencers, AND politicians alike.

You guys can say whatever you want but you don’t get to dictate how “big of a fan I am” based off my moral beliefs. The two have zero correlation. And if that bothers you, I would urge you not to follow the blog that was created to be an extension of my personal thoughts and not just the easily digestible pornographic content most people followed me for.

( love u and 10000% agree 🫶❤️)

[purpleyoonn]

The Line Between Love and War 2

C H A P T E R  2:  Announcements and Hand Holding

“It is said that the night sky is made up of tiny wishes that humans were never able to fulfill. That the stars only became bright by the fulfillment of those wishes. In your eyes, the stars that shine never seemed real, your childhood wishes dark and dim as you grow. But now, now you understand the twinkle in their eyes as they look down at you.”

Summary: Your experiences told you that soulmates were something you would never have the pleasure of having; something not given to you because of who you are, despite the soulmark that resides on your inner left wrist. During your solo trip to Los Angeles, you find out that you are more than capable, that your soulmates had been waiting for you for a long time, and would not be letting you go anytime soon.

Genre: soulmate au, bts au, idol bts, polyamory relationship, eventual smut

Paring: Idol!BTS x autistic!mc

Status: Ongoing (randomly updated)

Warnings: mental illness, talk of disability, lots of angst, miscommunication, feelings of depression, feelings of isolation, polyamory bts, stalking, dangerous behavior, eventual smut, 

Chapter Warnings: some anxious feelings, thoughts of being perceived, giggling mc, protective bangtan, sejin causing some unforeseen trouble, independent mc, mc forgetting to eat, jin being a savior for awkward mc,  

Beta Reader: @crushedblackroses  

Taglist: @azazel-nyx​​  @yuzon3​​ @hannahdinse8​​ @quirkybtsarmy​​ @mageprincess7​​  @fluffy-canada-pancakes​​ @suckerforv​​ @chaoticthingpizza​​ @drissteele​​ @carolinexkpop​​ @avadakadabra93​​ @lachimolala22019​​  @justaweird0​​ @singukieee​​  @welcometomyworld13​​ @toughbook​​ @kimana122​​ @kpopmultistantrashsstuff​​ 

Masterlist // Chapter 1 // Chapter 3

————————————————–

Previously on The Line Between Love and War:

“Don’t say that. We will always worry about you. You may not have experienced the soulbond we did, but that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. If anything, our bonds made us fall in love with our sweet and caring baby soulmate. You are ours, and we take care of what is ours.” Namjoon spoke in English again, making his sentence hit you even harder, your cheeks as red as a lobster at this point as he moves closer, placing his hand on your knee.

Never would you think you would be in this situation, in the same room as the boys you had grown to love through their videos and lyrics, and they were basically professing their love for you, their soulmate. It was like being in the middle of a bad fanfiction. You were almost waiting for the other shoe to drop, your experience states that something bad always follows something good.

After their very obvious and blatant words of love and possession, Jin refused to let go of you, his hands maneuvered you so he was sitting behind you, your body anchored to him as he wrapped his arms around you. You were extremely tense at first, uncomfortable with the thought of even being touched by someone else, but your body quickly relaxed into his touch, just like it did with Yoongi.

You didn’t understand where your almost craving need of their touch came from. You had always held an aversion for touch, needing your personal bubble to be untouched by anyone near you. Your family had always had problems with this, being very affectionate people.

“I know you don’t like hugs but come here!” Were words you had heard way too many times before being brought into someone’s hold. Your family acknowledged your touch aversion, but didn’t care, even when it made you uncomfortable or caused a shutdown afterwards.

To become completely relaxed and at peace at the boy’s touch was weird to you. Normally you would be pushing yourself away by now, but here you were, resting your head against Jin’s chest as he relaxed into the back of the couch. A sigh of relief even left your lips as Jin held you closer to his chest.

The others watched on with small smiles on their faces, seeing you relax completely into their eldest mate’s hold. This was probably the first time they had seen you truly relaxed since Yoongi found you. Namjoon almost wanted to just call it a day right then and there, wanted to tuck you into his bed and make sure you were warm against him before you fell asleep. But before that, their manager, Sejin, walked in.

You jumped at the door opening, the unexpected noise startling you out of your relaxed state, the unknown man scaring you a little. Jin’s arms tightened around you, bringing you back into his hold as Jimin and Taehyung settled on either side of you and Jin, their hands settling on your thighs, protective in hope.

“Hello boys. I heard you have found your last soulmate!” The man spoke before congratulating the boys, moving around to shake their hands or pat them on the back before moving to stand in front of you.

“Hello there. You must be Y/N. My name is Sejin, and I am the main manager for the boys.” He holds his hand out for you to shake, and you reluctantly bring your hand up to meet his. His touch made you want to pull back, the feeling of his skin uncomfortable against your own. When he pulled away, you were secretly relieved, bringing your hand to your chest.

“I came by to let you know that we have the announcement ready. Bang Pd-nim just wanted you to look it over before we post it.” Sejin stated, looking towards Namjoon, who grabbed the tablet out of his manager’s hand to look at said statement.

However, the manager’s words had you tensing up again, panic filling your bones at the thought of being announced to the world, of people knowing about you. Jin noticed your shaking first, could feel your heartbeat become faster. You have always disliked the thought of being perceived, of people thinking about you. It felt weird to you and always had you double thinking everything you do, your mask being almost perfected over the years.

“Baby, are you okay? What’s wrong?” He whispered in your ear, rubbing his hand up and down your arm in an attempt to help calm you down.

“Do we have to make an announcement?” Your voice cracked, worry lacing your tone and catching the attention of the rest of your mates. Sejin stepped back, knowing if he got to close, he would have more than just upset Bangtan at his throat.

“Honey, we need to make an announcement before the fans find out themselves. We need to stay in control of the situation. The NSS is updated regularly when soulmates find each other, and we know that there are fans who check every day.” Namjoon says, moving closer until he was kneeling in front of you, holding your hands in his own. 

“We want to keep you safe.” He finishes, looking in your eyes and hoping you understand where they were coming from. There was nothing more that he wanted than to assure your safety. Their line of work was not easy, and he knew other idol’s soulmates have been caught in the crossfire in the past, and they couldn’t let that happen to you. 

“Do you have to tell them it’s me? I uh, would like to remain private if I can?” You look hopeful to Namjoon, he can see the emotion clear in your eyes and he hates that he must tell you otherwise.

“Baby, I so wish we could keep you private, keep you to ourselves. But soulmate bonds at the NSS reveal the people within the bonds. Your name will be linked with our own as quickly as tomorrow.” You look down at your lap, tears almost forming in your eyes as take in his words. The soul mark on your inner arm now completely black, complete with your bond. 

Change was evident in life, you knew this. It happened every day, heck, every second. But this was too much change for any single person to handle. You never thought you would meet your soulmate, and now you have to be announced to the world, letting everyone know you exist and you are the last soulmate to the biggest band in the world.

You tried to reign in your tears, tried not to breakdown in front of them, but just the sound of you sniffling had the boys moving to you. But you were already forcing yourself to hold everything in, something that was as easy as breathing for you by now. Your mask back on your face before you could look up, one of the boys’ hand coming up and cupping your cheek, tilting your head upwards.

“Nothing will happen to you if that’s what you are worried about. We would never let anything happen to you now that we’ve finally found you.” Hoseok spoke softly but firmly as you cupped your cheek, making sure you were looking him in the eyes as he spoke.

“I know that you feel uncomfortable with attention, having seen glimpses,” He winks at you, causing a small smile to grow on your lips, “but we will do our best to keep you out of the spotlight. You don’t have to be on camera if you don’t want to. We will never force you to do anything you don’t want to.” His words help to reassure you, keep you from panicking even more.

This time, Jungkook speaks up from his spot on the right of Hoseok, having moved to kneel in front of you when he heard you sniffle.

“While people will want to know more about you, will ask questions and demand answers, we will only ever talk about what you allow us. If you don’t want us to talk about you at all, then we won’t.” You shake your head at his words, knowing that it wasn’t fair to army to keep you completely secret.

Yes, the boys share so much already, and deserve their own privacy. But you knew it would cause more problems than solutions to keep you completely hidden, especially when they will know your name soon enough.

As an army yourself, you felt as though you knew that army would want to know about you, if only to be able to hold love for you as well. True army love the boys and their relationship for what it is. Yes, jealousy does exist, envy is hard to hold in, but you know that real army would be just as happy for you as they would be for the boys finally completing their soul cluster.

The entire world knew that the boys were missing a soulmate, that their gray soul mark was a tough talking point for them. But now, it was complete.

“No, that’s not fair to you or army. You guys are very open about each other, about your soul cluster.” You start, your voice shaking at the thought that you were now a part of their cluster. “I want you to be able to be open about me as well. I don’t really care what you say, I guess.” You finish, looking at Namjoon as you feel safe under his gaze.

“The statement looks fine, Sejin.” Namjoon says finally after reading it aloud and getting your express permission to post the announcement.

“Okay, so this will be posted in about two hours.” Sejin states before turning to you, “Do you happen to have any social media, miss Y/n?” Your head tilts subconsciously at your confusion, trying to understand his words as he spoke to fast for you to easily translate in your head.

“oh cute” Jungkook and Jimin both mutter in Korean under their breath, heart eyes sent your way.

When you finally translate his words in your head, you nod. “Am I not supposed to?” You ask the manager, a slightly higher pitch to your words. He just sighs.

“Well, we want to be able to monitor your posts…” Sejin trails off after receiving a look from Namjoon and Yoongi, the latter shaking his head.

“She is not a part of the company. She doesn’t need her freedom restricted in any way.” Yoongi states, firm in his opinion with some of the others nodding their heads in agreement while the others voice theirs.

While this starts a slight argument, Sejin trying to voice the companies concerns while the boys defend your freedom, you raise your hand, hoping they would notice so you could say your own thoughts. Taehyung is the first to notice your hand, a big smile breaking out on his face as he puts his hand to his mouth, trying to quiet his words as he repeats Jimin and Jungkook’s earlier sentiments.

Trying to be quiet and actually being quiet are two different things though, and everyone’s attention is slowly moved to face Taehyung, his gaze still on you. When you notice this, your eyes widen, everyone’s eyes now on you.

“Yes, baby?” You blush at Jin’s words of endearment, not used to it at all.

“I uh, don’t really post on social media anyways. I only have it so I can look at the stuff other people post.” Your voice is a little quiet, the tension between the boys and their unfortunate manager still visible in their shoulders. “I don’t mind not posting.” You finish, but this only has Yoongi tilting his head.

“You can post whatever you want. The company just wants to make sure you don’t post anything about the band and what we are doing before it is released. Like spoilers.” He reasons with you, and pointedly looks towards Sejin.

Jungkook, who has been quiet the entire time, stands up, his hands on his hips as he voices his own suggestion.

“Think about it though. We are always trying to give behind the scenes photos and videos to help drive up interaction and views. So, what if we have Y/n use her social media to do just that. We can give army’s an exclusive view they wouldn’t otherwise have. Photos for army from an army who knows exactly what they would want.” Jungkook then looks at you, eyes wide as he tries to fix his words.

“Only if you are okay with that, baby? That way you don’t have to be monitored by the company, but you can still have the freedom to post us on your social. We want you to be able to show us off just like we want to show you off.” You think about his words, not seeing a problem with them.

You didn’t really think this far anyways, so you were pretty much ‘going with the flow’. You can’t really tell if you’ve shut down or not, your mind kind of numb, so you nod in agreement with your older soulmate. You don’t really see anything wrong with his proposal.

“I think I could get the okay for that.” Sejin muses, typing out something on his tablet. “Is it okay if I have your socials? That way we can monitor your accounts for safety reasons?” You don’t think too much, not seeing anything wrong with giving him your socials, so you do, typing them into his tablet.

After a couple of more questions aimed at the boys, and more discussions about cancelling their interviews tomorrow, which you make it known you are against, and the boys agreeing that you would just accompany them to their interviews, Sejin leaves with Namjoon and Jin walking him out.

It had to have been past one o’clock by now, time moving quickly since you bumped into Yoongi’s chest. Said soulmate had now moved back to sit next to you, his thigh touching yours as he takes your hand in his again. You blush a little, remembering the compilation you had watched of him trying to hold his mates’ hands, but unable to as they were oblivious to his intentions.

You would never say no to holding his hand, you think.

You let him hold onto you, his fingers moving to entangle with your own. It felt nice, like warmth was moving from your fingertips to your heart, your face flush for an entirely new reason.

Your favorite music group were your soulmates.

The revelation was just now starting to sink in. The universe had paired you into a soul cluster with the same men who helped you to live when you thought all else was lost. The same men who brought you immeasurable joy and happiness are now sitting in front of you, holding your hands and giving you a new hope that your soulmates do want you.

However, your brain soon took a new direction. You now had unfiltered access to your favorite music group, and as such, could ask them the questions you’ve always wanted to know.

While you were with the others, Namjoon and Jin were discussing your safety with Sejin, making sure it is known that you were the most important person to them now. They told him of your diagnosis, and what changes needed to be enacted to try and make you feel as comfortable as possible.

The boys had known about your diagnosis as long as you had. Hoseok had vision shifted during your final evaluation where you had received your autism diagnosis. With that, they did as much research as they could on the subject, looking at different symptoms that could present along the spectrum. But there wasn’t much they could do without knowing your sensory needs or masking ability. From their guess, you were high masking, meaning you were able to mask your symptoms and appear neurotypical with little to no questions.

They wanted to be able to be there for you.

They wanted you to feel comfortable enough to not have to wear your mask around them.

When the boys had gone back inside after saying goodbye to their manager, they came into you zoning in between Yoongi and Jungkook, the two holding your hands as they all talked. You had a small smile on your lips as you stared at the coffee table in front of you. He almost wished he had soul thought as his bond with you, then maybe he could catch a glimpse of what has you so lost in thought.

“Y/n, we were just about to eat lunch when the two got their vision of you, have you eaten yet?” Jin broke through your thoughts and had you thinking back to if you had eaten.

Food was always a weird topic for you. It’s not like you didn’t eat, your body just never really told you that you were hungry. You could go days forgetting that you needed to eat to survive. The same thing with drinking. Your doctors had called it bad interoception, meaning that your body basically failed to signal you as to what’s going on within your body. Feelings like hunger or thirst weren’t detected by your mind.

Your hesitation to answer was a little jarring for your soulmate, who took it as a bad sign.

“So, you haven’t eaten today? When was the last time you ate?” Jin asked you, his hand on his hip as you look away from him, embarrassment moving through your spine as you tried to come up with a reasonable answer.

At your blatant lack of an answer, Jin’s mouth opened wide, while the rest of your soulmates scrambled from their seats, helping you up off the couch and into the kitchen so they could feed you something.

“Might as well order something in, hyung.” Taehyung spoke up, followed by Jimin.

“We don’t have enough here, and we don’t know what she likes.” Jimin moved toward their fridge, filled with a lot of small leftovers that wouldn’t be enough for everyone.

“Why don’t we have Y/n pick, and then we can have someone pick it up for us.” At Jungkook’s words, you think to what you are going to do.

You realize they expect you to stay with them, probably in their hotel room with them, and leaving back to Korea when the concerts are over. Your mind moving quickly as you tried to figure out your nest steps. You guess you don’t really mind it, have nothing really to go back home to, but you need your things from your hotel. You brought all of your important things with you, and you wouldn’t be leaving without them.

Plus, if you didn’t check out of your room, your card would continue to be charged. You didn’t have the money for that. You started to move for the small hallway that led to the front door, moving to grab your things.

“Baby! Where are you going?” Taehyung and Hobi made a run for you once they noticed you trying to leave. Hoseok had been watching you, trying to see how you would handle their chaotic, but natural conversation. He knew you had troubles with sounds, so he wanted to gauge your comfortability levels with them at first. But instead, he caught you zoning out and then trying to leave the hotel room.

Hoseok had been afraid that they had been too much, and had gotten worried when you left the kitchen area. He really hoped you weren’t trying to get away from them. That they hadn’t caused you any issues so quickly in their bonding with you.

When you heard Hoseok’s voice, he caught you by surprise and you bumped your head into the doorknob, causing a loud “ow” to be heard from the kitchen as Namjoon felt your pain. This then caused them to realize you weren’t in the room and find you at the door holding a hand to your head.

“Oh my, are you okay?” Namjoon asks, tripping over his own feet as he tries to get to you.

“Yeah…I’m okay.” The ones who didn’t witness you trying to leave see one of your hands on the doorknob, your bags in front of you from when you dropped them.

“Y/n, why are you trying to leave? Have we done something to upset you?” Jimin looks at you with his eyes wide and a small pout beginning to form on his lips.

“Oh, I was going to go back to my hotel and get my things. Unless you guys don’t want me to stay here? I don’t mind. I can continue staying at my hotel. I just thought that since you guys weren’t going to reject me, that you wanted me as your soulmate, so you guys would want me here, with you all. With the way you were talking about security and all…” You trail off, realizing that you were beginning to over-explain yourself again.

“Why would you think that?” Taehyung asks, probably referring to when you said they might not want you there. “I thought Joon hyung told you that you were ours. We take care of what or who is ours. Of course you are staying with us.” He looked at you as if he was trying to make you believe his words. Like he was staring into your soul and trying to convince it of the bond they shared.

“Oh, huh” You begin to get nervous, not wanting to tell them you weren’t used to being cared for or about. It never really bothered you before, but you didn’t want to hurt their feelings like you knew your words would.

“It’s nothing.” You end up responding, shrugging your shoulders.

You look at each of the boys, some of their faces turning to an obvious look of confusion while Namjoon and Yoongi just raise an eyebrow at you. You slowly start to shrink into yourself, your hand on the doorknob tightening at their glances.

“Why didn’t you say so? Some of us could go get lunch and the others can go to your hotel and help you grab your things?” Jin spoke first, breaking the silence and referring to the beginning of your nervous rant as he moved around the entry way, phone now in hand as he starts to call Sejin and some of their security to let them know the change in plans.

Jimin was the first to move after Jin, coming up and taking one of your hands in his own, Hoseok was next, who picked up your bags from on the floor and moved down a hallway and disappeared. He left your backpack, thankfully, as it has your wallet and your hotel key. You moved to pick it up when Yoongi did, putting it on his back before holding onto your other hand, taking it off the doorknob.

“Wait, I wanna go to Y/n’s hotel with her!” Jungkook spoke up, realizing Jimin and Yoongi has already silently declared they were going to go with you. You just couldn’t help but to stare down at their own hands in yours, the dream-like feeling coming back.

“Yoongi-hyung, Jin-hyung and Taehyung should go get food! They already got to go find her.” Jimin protested, wrapping his empty arm around your arm, holding himself to you and laying his head on your shoulder, even though you were shorter than him.

“Whaaaaa, that’s not fair?” Taehyung protested, while Yoongi shook his head, Jin not paying attention as he was talking to security trying to get two separate cars.  Everyone turned to you, seeing you were in your own little world, then turned to their leader who had been silent as he watched you.

Namjoon couldn’t help but admire you, how even though they all knew how much this was for you, a drastic change to your life, you were so calm. He almost wondered if you were holding back, for them. But, he also caught the small smile on your lips as you looked down at Jimin’s hand in yours, moving your arm a little bit to swing your hands. He would ask Jimin or Tae later if you had dreamed about them, about this. He never thought to ask before, but now, it was the first thing he would ask once he’s got the chance.  

You, on the other hand, were trying not to move to much as you liked the feeling of Jimin’s hand in yours. Something about the hand placement made you want to stim, starting to swing your hands back and forth as you smiled. His hand was so soft and fit perfectly in your own.

“How about this: Earlier was a time crunch situation. So why don’t we do rock-paper-scissors and the three left will go with Y/n to get her things and sign out of the hotel.” Jimin doesn’t let go of your hand as he puts his other hand up, ready to play. It takes some convincing from the others, but eventually, even while Jin is on the phone, the boys all stand in a circle until three men are left.

Jimin can’t help but let out a cry of defeat as Jungkook, Jin, and Hoseok grow triumphant grins and move to your side. You feel bad for the man, still holding onto your hand as you squeeze it in your grasp.

“You can sit next to me when we eat, if you want.” You offer to the upset singer, only for him to grin and begin to brag to the others that you were his buddy for lunch.

Yoongi, despite being a little upset he couldn’t go with you, let Jungkook take his spot next to you, loving the excitement on the maknae’s face as he goes to hold your hand, jumping on the balls of his feet as he waits for Jin and Hoseok to get ready to go.

Next Chapter

[bluestar22x]

Cool. And now you've made me want to tell mine:

It's funny to me cause LiveJournal is where i started. Well, not technically. Technically I was on a fan blog the CW network made for Supernatural. During the summer before Season 3 (I was maybe 13 or so) I got into that blog (the "CW lounge") and they had SPN Fanfics on there, among many other things (we used to play a lot of fan games and discuss the show on there too). Sometimes they gave links to their LiveJournal accounts so it was the 1st fanfic site I lurked. (I never joined LiveJournal)

I wrote 2 fanfics for Supernatural for myself before I finally joined Fanfiction net in 2010 and wrote many more there. I also wrote a bit for 12 Monkeys (Syfy), Dominion (Syfy), and one fic for 911 Lone Star. These are all shows where I took part in fandom. I was a fan of many other shows (Heartland (CBC), Person Of Interest. Nikita (CW), etc.), but didn't feel the need to interact with every fandom.

Fanfics and gifs are my thing. I joined Tumblr in 2015 for the gifs more so than any human interactions. I just wanted to reblog gifs at first. I later live watched and reblogged Tumblr comments for Supernatural and 911 Lone Star episodes.

I never knew about the Pedro fandom until recently either. I got Disney+ for the first time the summer of 2022 and Din was my intro to the Pedro fandom. (Just ignore the fact I'd seen Pedro in The Mentalist and Nikita before but didn't recognize him when Din had his helmet off).

I'd already been in the fandom for The Last of Us (mainly for Joel) for at least a month before I got to see Din. So I loved Joel before I knew Pedro (but I knew he'd do the role justice when the BTS pics started really rolling out and the first TLOU trailer sold me).

I spent several months watching his guest star roles on youtube and watching some of his movies while also reading fics on here. "The Crush" by @the-ginger-hedge-witch was the first Pedro character fic I read (Javier Pena). I don't think I was even done watching Narcos by that point (it took me a while to get around to Season 3).

By the time TLOU Season 1 aired I was reading Pedro character fanfics on here constantly. Also on AO3 too. But I don't like AO3's set-up. I'm hardly on there (except to archive fics for safe keeping). I didn't want to join AO3 but when someone took down their fic on Tumblr and only had it on AO3 I joined AO3 so I could bookmark the fanfic. It's just an archive for me, through and through.

I wrote for Joel just after TLOU was done airing, my first reader fic EVER. I also was not used to reading/writing reader fics - Supernatural fics were almost always 3rd person, sometimes 1st person for romantic fics. It took time for me to like reading and writing in 2nd person "you". I still prefer 3rd person but I like that in reader fics I don't have to describe the reader's appearance. lol

June 2023 was when I caved and started writing Pedro character fics on the regular.

This fandom is also unique to me. I've enjoyed many actors' work but it's not often I follow an actor (I don't even follow Jensen Ackles after Supernatural and I loved him playing Dean and think he's a great actor). Even with Pedro if there's no chance I'll like the show/movie I'll just skip it or I'll only watch the character's scenes. I'm not crazy over The Bubble, but you bet your ass I love reading Dieter fics. Same with Javi G.

What I like about fanfics in this fandom is there's a character for every story. You want to write an end of the world fanfic? Use Joel. A survival fic? (Or camping trip!) Use Frankie. A one night stand fic? Use Javier Pena (or not, that man could totally settle down in Texas). Want a grumpy grump grump male lead? Pick Pero. Want a softie to turn you to mush? Pick Javi G. Want to treat your inner dark side? Pick Dave. There's always a match out there for every fic and every person.

I'm pretty selective about my fics cause I like them more canon based (at least in characterization) but even then I find a ton of fics. The best ones usually have under 1,000 notes - usually - I have found a few over 1,000 that are amazing too - but most super popular fics don't know the characters imo - it's more about what they want the character to do to them/kinky stuff rather than staying true to the character. Nothing wrong with headcanons, but I prefer it to feel like something I could picture them doing on screen. If they allowed smut on screen in detail. (I also pick fics based on my personal preferences after the fic passes the "canon test". Usually. I have a few guilty pleasures that made the characters a bit out of character).

Anyway, I've said too much. But that's my fandom story.

Thought I'd randomly give a friendship bracelet to someone on the Scout list (to be fair since I know many of you in passing) and my finger landed on your username. :)

I'm always curious about how people entered the fandom - so I'm curious to know how you did?

(I tend to get long winded when I explain my origin so don't be afraid of being detailed)

hi!! thank you 🧡🥰 I love it!

I'm kind of excited to answer! ok here come the details. I've been in fandom in general for what feels like forever -- I started reading fic when I was like 11 or 12 and discovered ffnet (I turn 37 this month). I hopped from there to livejournal to various individual ship sites (we used to do it that way before ao3, for anyone who doesn't remember) to like, yahoo groups, and back to ffnet.

Then I got a tumblr in ... 2010ish? Not this account, I created this one last October so I could be more involved in this fandom and post fics. So my other one has been around forever (yeah I was here for dashcon and everything else lmao), and I was a fan in many fandoms, but I was never a creator. I think my post with the most notes was from when I watched Hannibal and liveblogged about it (I wasn't in the Hannibal fandom, before anyone asks). I was pretty active on tumblr until the end of 2018, less active until 2022, and then I came back in a sort of chill way. I wasn't posting much, just reblogging and scrolling.

On the fic side, I got an ao3 account in 2012 after reading without an account for like a year (RIP to all those bookmarks that never were). I've been reading fic daily for like, most of my life at this point, but ao3 changed the game in such a huge way. It's weird to think back to what life was like before ao3! (as of today I have 9235 bookmarks on ao3)

Then in spring 2023 I discovered that the Pedro fandom existed. Honestly I'm sad I didn't know about it before, I feel like it would have helped me through 2020 and 2021 if I did. I read my first ever x reader fic (rough day) and then went looking for the author on tumblr. (I will admit I had a bias against x reader before I tried it myself. I think that's not abnormal for those of us who came from fandoms that didn't have it.) Then I discovered people on tumblr and discord were talking about all of the things I wanted to talk about with Din, Joel, and Pedro (Din and Joel were my entry to this fandom, despite my first fav Pedro character being Oberyn). I read some Din and Joel fics, realized how much I liked all of this, and then couldn't get the idea for Over Again out of my head. I started writing it in my notes app last April and created a side blog when I started posting it. Then in October I turned this into a full blog instead, so I could reply and interact as much as possible! (the side blog is still attached to my old blog and I use it as the updates blog now - @burntheedges-updates)

Having been in so many fandoms previously, I love that this one is sort of unique in how we follow one actor's characters rather than stick to one piece of media (or a universe). I've honestly never seen anything like it, but it's easily my favorite fandom that I've been in. It's also the first time I've written any fic at all since I was like 15.

I almost listed all of the fandoms I've ever followed/been in on tumblr but decided not to. lol I can if anyone wants to know! thank you for asking and letting me ramble. 🧡

[lo1k-diamonds]

Haaiii I saw there will be a SX bubbles (with JK) part 3 coming soon… can I ask how soon? I loved the chemistry between that couple at the end of part 2 and really hope they worked it out 🥹

Hiiiiii 💜 I've been musing about it too! I was wondering if I could release it to celebrate my follower milestone, but it might take too long to get there 😅🤭 So I'd say in April? 😉💜

[whysojiminimnida]

Maknae Line Sipping Things, Pt. 1

Maybe it's tea but more likely it's gonna hit and make us dizzy, knowing these guys. Because it's always something with them, isn't it?

WAIT BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER PLEASE TO READ THE DISCLAIMER

ARMY is many things to "our boys" - who, by the way, have not been "boys" for nearly a decade, now. Can we just normalize letting grown ass men be, IDK, GROWN ASS MEN?

They DO LOVE US. More than we realize. We are their validation. We are their audience, their personal search engine, their friends in a weird kind of two-sided parasocial relationship (which I guess makes it nearly a social relationship). But we are also their paychecks.

BTS is at a point where none of them need to work. Ever. They could fuck off to Bora Borahae (don't get me started) and spend lavishly for the rest of their days and still leave an enormous inheritance to their pets. They're fine, financially, in a way that most of us will never be. It's a heady experience, I'm told, having fuck-you money, and they have that. And yet they continue to work.

They continue to move their lives within a very tight, very enclosed but entirely too visible bubble. They always will, because their level of fame is that, now. Their lives don't really belong to them - they belong to us. Which is a heavy and often uncomfortable reality for them. So that's my angle going into the whole What The Fuck Is Up With The Maknae Line thing. They are in an unhealthy relationship - with ARMY - and it's changed who they are to each other, over time.

To be fair it's not ARMY's fault, either. If we must lay blame somewhere throw it on the idol system, maybe. They were assigned their roles in the beginning and SO WAS ARMY. It goes both ways.

The hyungs handle it better, overall. They were a few very crucial years older. They were given more responsibility and less, I think, insecurity. Don't get me started on neurodivergency. Or gayness. I'LL PONTIFICATE, IT WILL TURN INTO A DAMN FILIBUSTER, LET'S JUST NOT OKAY.

"But we LOVE THEM," I hear you cry. How can our love be unhealthy? Oh let me count the ways.

I LOVE a good fansite photographer. And Black & White is the best of the best - supportive, great shots, excellent with boundaries. See that? Jungkook recognized and was not upset to see them - because he sees them. A LOT. Here's Jimin taking notice:

He ain't mad. But cameras are as normal to BTS as breathing. Kinda like stylists. They get so used to having them there they don't quite seem real without them. To us, certainly, but maybe also to themselves. And as we've been let in to (almost) every facet of their lives we've become a little entitled. We think we know them - and in many ways we do. We see them cry, laugh, snort, fart, snore, sneeze and cough. We've even managed to be privy to inconvenient wood and bathtub photos - usually dressed, but Namjoon is not here today. "They're so relatable", we sigh. "How are they even real," we swoon. And yet we know they are, because we see them like this:

Little derpcakes, all of 'em. And we go "must protect!"

We protecc, we attacc, we give a boy a snacc, we make up memes about it and feel a little superior to all those fans who don't protect their idols - as well we should, we're the bomb. THE BANGTAN BOMB BITCHES.

And in so doing we have "protected" the maknae line right into eternal teenhood.

I've done it myself. Ask me how old Park Jimin is and I am as likely as not to tell you he's 24. (He's about to turn 27 international. At the end of the year he turns 29, Korean age.)

Again, much of this is marketing and is done deliberately because teen girls spend money. They also write fanfiction, draw and paint fan art, and attend concerts. And some of the fics are amazing, most are porn-adjacent or straight (gayyyy) erotica. Ditto a chunk of the art. But keep in mind that minors produce and consume all manner of media. A Minors DNI warning might as well be a neon sign. And fiction and depiction are SAFE ways for ARMY to explore their own and other sexualities. Put a pretty boy naked in a high school locker room with a tattooed, musclebound alpha quarterback and the metaphorical or literal jizz flings itself into the stratosphere. BUT LORD HELP A GROWN ASS ADULT MAN THAT ACTUALLY GETS A GIRLFRIEND.

Or boyfriend.

Stay tuned for the rest of this mess, probably.

[userkoo]

this site is so sensitive when i mention tae and jk together. like i even saw a tiktok naming their fav pairings and for everyone it was fine but when it was taekook they had to disclaim it was (pLaToNiC) was that not implied by the rest of your list?? ppl are so scared to mention them at all but if he's with another member its fine. its annoying and ppl are so transparent

i actually don't think tumblr is a primary suspect among the list of platforms where people move weird about taekook,.. but i'm speaking as someone in a little bubble of mutuals who are normal people lol. i also have never ventured onto the hellscape that is the bts stan side of tiktok so i can't speak on that either (besides seeing screenshots of people on there calling normal behaviors from jungkook 'red flags'... oof.) most of the bullshit, in my experience, stems from twitter where, like you said, even a simple mention of them hanging out together can end up with people accusing you of being a 'shipper' or a 'diet solo.'

this is going to be rambly so i'm putting it under a read more for the sake of not clogging people's dashes, but here are some of my thoughts on fandom culture/shipping in general:

oh real quick for for transparency sake, i'll start this off by saying: 1. i don't care about the relationship status of any of the bts members. they're single to me unless they officially and publicly state otherwise without any privacy invading force involved. 2. i have no problem with fans thinking/implying bts members are queer. lgbt fans finding comfort and comradery in their favorite people isn't a bad thing. :)

now for the actual post~

the fan dynamics on twt are so different and if you even mention taehyung and jungkook in the same sentence or say that they're very obviously close friends, you might end up on some of those 'defend [insert member here]' accounts where they encourage people to block and report for the slightest of 'offenses.' and like you mentioned in your post, that's over people talking about them platonically!! or over people who simply read fic without ever insinuating they think they're actually dating.

the puritanical culture that exists in very large parts of the bts fandom (and was present in the 1d fandom as well) is so weird to witness. we can all have differing opinions on whether or not rpf is 'good' or not, but unless someone is sending fanfiction to bts personally... it is harmless. and it will always exist. you will never enter into a fan space where independent, 'non-canon' content isn't being created by fans... and why would you want to? so much of fandom culture and history is about creation (and is also super lgbt centric!!)

in my opinion, the only people who still get up in arms about shipping discourse in 2023 are those under 18 or those who have no previous fandom experience. after stanning harry styles since 2012, i have heard the 'gay rumors made them drift apart!!!' argument so many times that it is genuinely nausea inducing. (and my opinion on that is... if you are that turned off by people possibly thinking you're queer to the point where it makes you end an important friendship, you either weren't very close to begin with or you're homophobic. likely a combination of the two. gay rumors are not, and never will be, offensive. they are not something you need to protect your fave from. why is this the argument so often touted by fans? why would you WANT your favorite person's self image to be so fragile that they end friendships over rumors? and that's not even getting into the fact that skinship and performance is built into the literal DNA - lol - of kpop...)

like. maybe i'm just too old to care now but i genuinely could not give less of a fuck if people think jk and taehyung are in a relationship. i do not care. they're both beautiful people who are clearly fond of each other. do any of us know how deep that fondness runs? nope! and we never will! and that's more than okay because these are grown men with personal, private relationships that we will never be privy to... as it should be. as long as boundaries are respected, i don't care what people think to be true.

can shippers get overzealous? for sure. do the people who analyze their every move need a new hobby? most definitely. but i think it's more than obvious now that the people who go to insane lengths to invade their privacy are stalkers or people trying to dredge up dating rumors between them and women.

it gets especially transparent when you have videos and rumors online about bts members dating people they've never interacted with publicly (using 'liskook' as an example, there are youtube videos with 10million views about them. one posted ten hours ago has 52k views) but i never see them condemned with the level of vitriol i see people using when it comes to jk and taehyung. is that not weird?

idk man. there's no concise ending to this post. fandom culture just intrigues me which is why i have so much to say about all this. it's especially interesting to me how it intersects with queer culture - or directly opposes it.

[notacatdown]

wait, i feel a bit foolish. when exactly did yao accuse fuyi in ep 12?

Opps, my bad. It was from ep 13 and 1. This to me, is way more serious than Liu Fuyi being oblivious that the princess has a crush on him.

i also wish that they had more "heres how it happened" verse "heres how its happening" but i suppose she changes so much, and with her memory loss, it becomes useless to do so, i guess.

The author has Miaomiao mentioning stuff from the original novel from time to time, to show how much the world has changed among other things. Not just from the things Miaomiao is forced to do because of the system, but also the positive ripple effects of her choices that go against the system. Miaomiao is not full aware of this.

Miaomiao's perception of Mu Yao and Liu Fuyi are based on what she read about in the book and those moments the group is together. When the group splits up, we see moments of Mu Yao and Liu Fuyi that Miaomiao doesn't, so the further in the story, the greater the deviation between how she views them and what the audience sees. They go from paper characters to people. That's common in a good book transmigration story. Miaomiao loses her omniscient view and her objectivity as she becomes part of the story.

And, I think the drama is maybe trying to also do this, but its not distinct enough because after ep 13, we're not remind of the original Mu Yao and Liu Fuyi.

Hope my rambling makes some sort of sense. My messy thoughts make it sound more complicated than it is. Easy to understand when reading the novel.

side note, the bubbles werent CGI. i watched a behind the scenes and they actually have a guy with a bubble machine who slides in LOL.

Lol. Amazing they didn't break out of character. Your comment reminded me of this BTS for Till The End of the Moon where someone is standing above them to let go of petals the entire time they're kissing. There was a version with a better angle, but I couldn't remember where I saw it. https://www.reddit.com/r/TilltheEndoftheMoon/comments/12zryt2/bts_kissing_scene_from_a_future_episode/

but we got ROBBED on their journey to the imperial capital. they showed us a supercut of them having fun and getting along, but oh my god, theres so much more to that that we're missing!

I thought I was the only one. The travel montage is pretty (everything about the show is pretty), but I want more substance!

and we dont know ziqis percentage for a LONG time because of the dust demons not being there, so we have to make it up in our heads. i know thats already when ziqi they were feeling romantic towards each other, but they also danced around it quite a bit, and i feel like that time couldve been more bonding moments.

Agree, we have to fill in the blanks because its not shown. The drama sometimes feels like newbie fanfiction. The script "skips to the good bits" without transition scenes. That's okay in fanfiction because the audience can fill in the gaps from the original work.

In the novel, Mu Sheng and MiaoMiao share all these little and big secrets with each other. Mu Sheng falls for Miaomiao as he sees her other personality traits and their conversations give him a different perspective on his life. It felt so intimate and organic.

(I saw this great douban post about how Mu Sheng is an onion with many layers. In the novel, Miaomiao also has layers. The journey of Mu Sheng falling in love with Miaomiao is also the reader's journey of falling in love with her.)

Whereas the drama is about these stunningly picturesque scenes, grand gestures, amazing chemistry between Esther and Ding Yuxi that can't be captured in words. Its incremental progress vs leaps. I like both types of developments, but it would have been nice if we could have both in the drama version.

other than that, i think we dont have much time in the drama for them to have those moments, which is a little sad to say, but i think her not being afraid of his demon form completely shattered any form of friendship.

Ep 7 and 8 uses a lot of dialogue and scenes from the novel that show why they needed a friendship period even though they find each other attractive, and she shows that she's not scared of him. I'll wait for your ep 8 rewatch because it'll make more sense then.

it was like "oh. i want to be with you forever now." and thats fine, because i dont need "enemies to friends to lovers" or whatever. enemies (one-sided) to basically lovers is also good to me.

I was fine with this too when I was watching.

wow, you totally shook my world by saying that miaomiao took off his robe and saw him shirtless. we were not just robbed anymore. we were BURGLARIZED.

Opps, I missed a word and comma. He takes off his robe, so she can treat his chest wounds. No romance or tension there. Just her being sad for him when she sees his old scars. It also leads to her noticing his abnormally fast healing that he lies about and other stuff. In the novel, he's in a deep denial about his demon heritage. He has a different big secret that he reveals to Miaomiao and he's keeping from Mu Yao.

^ We get this instead, and its pretty cute! Its a merging and simplification of two scenes from the novel.

There is a novel scene later where she tries to undress him. After they're married, Miaomiao observes that he keeps his lips closed when they're kissing. He's such a timid black lotus. She thinks that even though she doesn't have practical experience either, she at least has rich theoretical knowledge, so she has to take charge if she wants their physical relationship to progress. She pushes him down on the bed and tries undress him.

I think this is Miaomiao's misunderstanding though. When it comes to physical stuff, he doesn't want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable or scared. If Miaomiao was shyer, they probably never get past chaste kissing, lol.

yeah i can agree, esp in regards to her seeing romance stuff, and i touch upon this in my review of ep 6 (basically finished, just missing some images), but i actually thought miaomiao was in her early 20s. is it confirmed anywhere? and because of that, i didnt feel any sort of way about how she acts, because i know people in their early 20s who act like theyre in high school. hell, i know people in their 30s who act that way too LOL.

Will go read that next! I assume she's somewhere in her 20's because she said she's been his fan for 10 years, and they meet in middle school (which is 7th to 9th grade in China), so the earliest Fu Zhou could have published his first book is 12 to 14. I'm guessing she's at least 22 years old.

I know people like that too. I had a roommate who was 36 and the details she shares about her relationship... For example, her on-and-off boyfriend of seven years called her the day before his wedding to get back together and then of course... he broke up with her for nth time. She insists that next time will be the charm. They're meant to be.

If I had read it on reddit, I would think the person was making this stuff up. Because surely, a person at 36, or even at 20, would not think this way. On the other end of the spectrum of maturity, I had another roommate who was only 21, and she was very responsible and had her life together.

but its definitely prominent in dramas because thats just what seems to be more normalized. god forbid we have (forgive me for using a korean term here) female leads who arent doing aegyo.

Yeah, and I wouldn't even think twice about it if I saw this in an American show. Although, if the novel was adapted to an American show, I don't think they would change her personality in this direction. I wonder if this is the same reason the drama removes her friendship with Liu Fuyi. Men and women being friends and staying friends is so commonplace in American shows, but its so rare in C-dramas, especially xianxia, that the audience will comment on it and praise it.

That being said, ep 6 is very fun to watch. I watched it once to enjoy their expressions and their beautiful outfits and then again to pay attention to what's going on.

i just remember thinking, "damn! ziqi really loves to get himself caught into traps!"

LMAO. I miss the smart Ziqi from the early episodes.

Comments to lgief rewatch ep. 4

@fairytaehl

I wrote my comments as a post so I can format it for easier readability, and the reblog was locked for your post.

"which is nuts because why the fuck are you a demon catcher? "

He's a demon hunter because this is what Mu Yao wants. The drama hand-waves away the hardship and pain that comes with being a demon hunter.

In the novel, its clear that he doesn't want Mu Yao to be in a profession where she gets hurt and might die, but this is what she wants to do, so he can only support her despite the physical cost. He is often badly injured and comes close to dying in order to save strangers because he doesn't want to disappoint Mu Yao. It's Miaomiao that says while she finds it admirable that Mu Yao and Liu Fuyi are altruistic saviors, it's fine that he doesn't want to sacrifice himself to save strangers. He's not wrong for feeling that way. That she also feels this way.

"i know hes in the wrong. i know it was his fault and he had bad intentions, and his words in response to her were also not very kind. but… placating her and telling her he doesn't like arguing with her, that sister knows best, just because he cant deal with hearing her say these hurtful things anymore, and he cant handle it if his sister has such a negative view of him, all while hes trying to smile. its genuinely hurting him internally, as we see in a moment. "if you think it was me, then it was me." it was basically you, and it makes me frustrated to see him so upset over his own doing. i feel bad but i dont. hes trying so hard not to cry, but goddammit, you had this coming you bastard."

I love how you phrase it! I thought their conversation was so, so good. That Mu Yao is being too harsh, but Mu Sheng did do something wrong, and they both know it. Their complicated, messy relationship is so interesting, and I wish we saw more of it.

"crushing the flower in front of her and smirking as he does so… sir. please have mercy. a silent "this is what i do to fresh, pretty flowers" a.k.a. Her."

"crossing your arms across your chest is a physical tell for defensiveness and closing off yourself to the conversation~"

Your observation skills are so good! You catch so many little details. I love all the body gestures and movements that Esther and Ding Yuxi do in the drama. I wonder how much was improvised vs part of the script.

"i wont lie, this whole bit about how she knows about the ledger and letting it slide confused me"

Agree, and I thought it was weird he doesn't ask her why she wants to burn the Mu's ancestral map. 

In the novel, it's because she read the original work and she has nightmares about it after she transmigrates (I don't think this is shown in the drama), so she knows what he's going to do. BUT, she doesn't directly confront him about it. Unlike in the drama, she's very cautious and tries her best to not reveal any information that Lin Yu wouldn't know in front of Mu Sheng.

"ok, i need to ask, anyone understand these heart lake things?"

My guess is they're supposed to visually reflect the change in his emotional state. For example, in ep 18's script.

"△ The lotus in Mu Sheng’s heart lake suddenly turned completely black, leaving only half of the petals still red.

Demonized Mu Sheng: (Chaotic electronic music) I want... to kill him."

"the one where she throws him off entirely by acting all obsessed had him pause as to why she was going to such lengths to lie, and what her goal was. yes, he wanted to get her out because he doesnt like her at all, but that was so nefarious-seeming that he just… walked away. also, it was weird."

On one hand, I thought that scene was hilarious. Its my favorite scene in the drama, and I'm entertained enough to not think too deeply about it. This scene doesn't exist in the novel, but there are ones where he reacts similar-ish if you want an explanation.

In the novel, she constantly seeks him out to increase his favorability % and shows concern and for one reason or another will end up hugging him, and this leads to him letting her off each time. It's easy to see that he's touch-starved and longs for affection. Once he likes her even just as a friend, he can easily be bribed to look the other way with hugs or agree to her requests.

On the other hand, I think it would make way more sense if the drama followed the novel's scene order and had them playing 5-in-a-row games all night early on, and we heard his thoughts so the audience knows why this marks a shift in how he views Miaomiao.

How this is the first time he's learning something that's not for Mu Yao's interests, how he's been pretending to be bad at Go (and his skills as a demon hunter) to get Mu Yao's attention, etc. Its easy to see that he and Mu Yao haven't outgrown their relationship dynamic from their childhood, which was fine then, but has become an unhealthy codependency as adults.

If that happened before Miaomiao's fake confession scene, his response to it would feel less weird.

---

Some random thoughts after reading your post. We eventually find out that Mu Sheng has always known that the Resentful Woman is hiding inside Mu Yao, so what was his long-term plan? Instead of letting her know so they can work together to get rid of the Resentful Woman, he's deciding that he knows what's best for her. And, this isn't a problem that can go away if he hides it. The Resentful Woman will only grow stronger and be harder to defeat. So frustrating.

This is like Guo Xiu unilaterally making the decision to tamper with the villagers' memories. He's playing god, and there's no consequences to him other than his guilt. The script's narrative pushes the idea that this is for their own good and he makes up it up to them with his building talisman, but all he's really done is rob them of seven years. It's extra bad because the median lifespan for people in ancient times is low.

These villagers can't emotionally move on. In practical matters, this is an ancient world, and it would be harder for women if their husbands die and they don't remarry. The author set the novel to take place in a fantasy version of the Tang Dynasty, where it was fine for women to remarry. Had Guo Xiu been honest with them or just done nothing so they know people are disappearing, they could have chosen to move away from this dangerous place.

Maybe, some villagers would choose to throw their lives away to look for their loved ones, but that's their choice.

---

Your recap and the timing of your screenshots for their expressions are so good, especially Mu Yao and Mu Sheng's conversations at the beginning of the episode!

[kcake555]

Taehyung cake 🍰

bts

[aajjks]

Hell;

summary: he was a disgusting creep and he loved it when you acknowledged that.

pairing: yan!captor jk x hostage reader.

warning: yandere, obsessive dark themes, posessiveness, jk is like a masochist puppy, he’s very into being degraded, praise kink, degrading, Stockholm syndrome and Sexual undertones.

VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. Please do not ROMANTACISE THIS BEHAVIOUR. This does not represent jungkook or bts irl.

note. lmao some of y’all were very curious about yan!jk’s weird kink so here ya go, I’m still struggling writing so... go easy on me because I for sure don’t like being degraded... share your thoughts or feedback because that’s what fuels me to write!!! OKAY ENJOY!

masterlist.

*NOT EDITED*

he was fucking pathetic.

“You stupid piece of shit! Let me go!” it had been a month or so. being held captive in this forced heaven was starting to get boring. Your captor was so... plain.

but again, what could you expect from jeon Jungkook. the guy who was your once junior in collage. he was the typical nerd while you were the popular bimbo of the campus. he was someone you’d hate. you had a thing for sexy bad boys.

while, you should’ve been someone he hated, you had become someone he whorshipped like a madman, someone that he desired like a desperado. someone he’d do anything for. Absolutely anything.

but was this something new for a person like you? no. You had a lot of people after you. Jungkook wasn’t anything special. If anything? He was the most ordinary out of them all. He was so painfully obvious with his sick infatuation with you that it almost amused you, stealing your hair ties and bubble gum wrappers? it was like you were stuck in a cliche shitty yandere fanfiction.

but there was something about him that stood out for you. “Y-Y/N please... y-you know I can’t do that...”

oh he was here. you closed your eyes and inhaled sharply. this was starting to get annoying. “Stupid fuck, why do you stutter so much...” he seemed... pure. Your arms were starting to ache from the ropes. “fuck, my arms hurt..” moaning in pain you looked up to see jungkook standing in front of you. his cheeks tinted bright red and a plate in his trembling hands.

you raised your eyebrow at him, so... he was blushing... you looked up to him, your gaze turning mischievous as your eyes trailed down to his figure.

...o h. He had a little problem going on. wow. This was going to be so fun now.

“... jungkook you look so pretty today.” Just to get a fun reaction out of him, you winked at him and the sound you heard next was of the plate from his hand falling and scattering into pieces. You had to fight the strong urge of smirking in satisfaction, he was so weak, for you.

“oh no... your plate...” tsking, you carefully licked your chapped lips, your gaze set on him. he was pretty. he had changed, if you were being honest. the change in him was physically visible.

His body had gotten sexier, stronger. He had such a tiny waist, it was cute. His arms were veiny and buffed up, his shoulders had become broader. His chest was puffer now and you were pretty sure you saw his abs’ outline from his shirt. 

it would be a serious lie to say that he was not looking like a whole man. A man that you’d love to fuck.

and you were many things but a lair.

“o-oh m-my god!” jungkook had finally reacted after what felt like an eternity of him standing still, not even batting an eyelash. “Y-Y/N I-I will b-be ba-back” before he could excuse himself out. you had another plan mind. “stay.” your tone was sultry. you had to entertain yourself, by any means.

even if it meant leaving your captor all hot and bothered. ‘Jungkook... why did you do this..” this was just a way to pass time. “why?” the man looked up to you and the look in his eyes made your stomach drop.

obsession, lust and desire. “why? You’re asking me why?” Jungkooks posture was relaxed, his chest out and a cynical smirk playing on his lips. as he took steps coming closer to you, your heart beat rose.

why was he coming closer... did you do something you shouldn’t have..? your heart was sinking in your chest, your breathing becoming irregular. he looked scary. His pupils were dilated, you could see a dark glint in them. You immediately stopped looking at him, unable to make eye contact.

This was not what you had planned.

And maybe this wasn’t so fun now. you were starting to get anxious, he looked like a psycho.. the way his lips were curled up in a twisted smirk made you want to run.

but you couldn’t. “J-Jungkook..?” Oh now you were the one stuttering.. the irony. His gaze was set on you like you were his prey and he was a eager predator that wanted to pounce on you. His long curly hair fell in his eyes, hiding them. but yet, you could feel his orbs burning holes into you. You were too busy thinking when you didn’t notice him grabbing your face in his warm hands and caressing your cheeks with his thumb.

“fuck, the way you call out my name turns me on so much.” he licked his lips once again, his gaze falling on your lips.

disgusting fucking creep.

“Y’Know... I have been fantasising about you. Thinking about you all night long...” he bit his lower lip, inhaling deeply.

“You’re so fucking disgusting, creep.” You spat out, your eyebrows farrowed with anger and your jaw clenched. Jungkook couldn’t help but let out a shameless noise that made your cheeks feel heated. “Oh... baby... when you call me all of these names... my body feels so fucking electrifying... call me a fucking sicko, it brings me immense pleasure hearing you degrade me... fuck.”

Your eyes were wide with shock, your mouth agape with disbelief. “Come on baby come on!!! Call me a fucking bastard, a disgusting pervert, I deserve to be called that come on!” Jungkook whined, closing his eyes and laughing.

“Call me a fucking psycho.” His laugh was exactly like how you’d see in those thriller drama’s when the psycho laugh’s. “Y-You are fucking nasty... p-psycho!” Your lower lip trembled.

Jungkook pushed his head back, his eyes rolling back in pleasure. “fuck yes..” he managed to choke out, his voice getting deeper, the pace of his breathing was fast.

“Come on baby, degrade me more... I need you! Come on! You’re so fucking hot when you cuss at me! Come on!”

what had you gotten yourself into, hell for sure.

[girl8890]

Penpals | Chapter 10

Idol!Kim Tae-hyung / V x Fem!Reader

Summary: You weren’t big on social media. Hell, you didn’t even care much for trends. So when you get a notification one day on instagram from a person claiming to be a global sensation, you can’t believe it. Months later, you still can’t believe your penpals with BTS’s good boy - Kim Taehyung himself.

Warnings: Mentions of past toxic relationships and sexual assault.

Notes: The events that are in this story can definitely happen in real life, BUT this is just a fanfiction and I don’t think these events will actually happen/are occurring. Anything in italics are texts messages.

BTS ML | Index | CH 11

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

When Ky finally gets to your house, she doesn't even knock on the door. She bursts in like a fireman about to put out a fire, and her eyes move back and forth, trying to find you.

You haven't moved from your spot on the ground since she called you. Your tears have dried, but now you're just staring at a random crack in your flooring in a daze.

Ky picks you up slowly and leans you against the back of the couch. You feel so drained from crying so much that when you look at Ky, it's like you're seeing through her. Looking at her, but not actually looking at her.

"Y/n, what the fuck happened?" You hear the concern in Ky's voice, and by the look on her face, it's obvious she's pissed. Pissed for unknown reasons, to her.

You swallow even though your throat is dry and relay everything step-by-step of what happened with Mara. When you get to the part about Kwang, Ky's jaw drops.

"No fucking way! That bitch did not!"

"Oh, she fucking did. And she had the audacity to say Kwang 'changed.' I don't know what's up with her. It's like she completely forgot everything he did to me!"

At some point, while relaying what happened with Mara, your sadness melted away and reverted back to anger. Making you clench your fists and your voice go up a notch.

"And telling him about Taehyung? Is she insane?! What if he tries to do something?"

"I mean..."

You stop there. You honestly forgot about Mara saying she told Kwang about Taehyung. Obviously, you mentioned it, since Ky knows, but you were so engrossed with anger it slipped your mind.

You're supposed to be taking a break from each other. Not talking except for the usual good morning and good night texts to still have your fill of each other. All so you can figure out if you are ready to meet the idol that's been in your DMs and message boxes for the last two months.

But now Mara may have just changed this plan because of the possibility of Kwang doing something you’re afraid of. 

"What if Kwang is only with Mara to get back at me?"

Ky raises a curious eyebrow at your accusation.

"I mean, I guess that could be a possibility. But do you think Kwang would really go that far?"

You re-think everything he's done to you thus far. The sexual assault when you broke up with him, the cheating out of spite, cyberbullying you, the nonstop texting just to remind you every day he hates you. All this ended a couple months ago, but now you realize how convenient that was when he started dating Mara, so...

"Yes. And now that he knows about Taehyung and me, I don't know what he'll do."

"Welp, it seems like you’re going to have to have a rather awkward conversation with Taehyung."

You groan in defeat.

"Fuck. I guess I am."

You pull out your phone and adjust your hair in the screen mirror. Wanting to at least look like you didn't just cry for a good twenty minutes. You hear Ky snort, and you look at her with a stink eye.

"Seriously? Your worrying about what you look like right now?"

"Oh, shush."

You open up his contacts and text him, asking him if he's able to FaceTime right now. You wait for the message to say read and watch as the 'typing' bubble pops up, indicating Taehyung is in the middle of texting you back.

V ♥︎ (9:30am): Damn angel! You miss me already? It's only been two hours 😂

V ♥︎ (9:30am): Not that I'm complaining though 😘

Even while you were just put in one of the worst situations you could be in, at the moment, V still finds a way for you to smile through it. Granted, he has no idea what's going on. However, it still sobers your weeping heart a little, knowing you'll always have a person like Taehyung in your life that can give you this type of reaction.

You (9:31am): OMG shh! Lol... But seriously, can you FT? It's kinda important.

V ♥︎ (9:30am): I'll call you in 5

With that, you wait for his call to come through. Staring at your phone and waiting for the screen to show he's calling. Less than 3 minutes later, he FaceTimes you, and you answer the second the screen pops up.

"Damn, angel. Not only did you miss me so much that you couldn't wait the week, but you answered the call in record time!? I feel so flattered."

You roll your eyes and shake your head at him. You're supposed to be talking to him about a complex and important situation, but of course, Taehyung has to find a way to lighten your mood.

Not that you're complaining.

"Tae, this is important. Stop making me all blushy," You say while one of your hands holds your rosy cheek.

"I can't help it! I love making you all flustered."

You were about to say how rude he was, not actually meaning it but wanting to have a little banter like you always do with Taehyung. But then someone starts screaming next to you with a voice of a mouse.

You slowly turn to face Ky, completely forgetting she was even here when your mind was pinpointed on calling Taehyung. You are now regretting never having the balls to bring up the conversation about other people knowing about him and you.

"You guys… ARE SO ADORABLE!"

"Um… Y/n?" You look back to Taehyung. "Is someone with you?"

Luckily, you realize Taehyung isn't mad. Quite the opposite actually. He's looking around you, wherever he can see on FaceTime, trying to find this mystery person.

"Yeah… this is Ky, my best friend." You point the camera at Ky, and the second she sees his face, her jaw drops. "Ky, this is Taehyung. Do you really need me to explain who he is?"

Taehyung laughs, either at your words or Ky's reaction and Ky is still stunned in her spot. Not believing that she's looking face-to-face with one of her favorite idols of all time.

When you point the camera back at yourself, you clear your throat when you see Ky still hasn't closed her mouth.

"Sweetheart, you'll catch flies."

Ky shakes her head and whispers a subtle, "Wow." Still stunned in her spot. "It's not that I didn't believe you, especially after the selfie and magazine incident, but Jesus Y/n… you’re dating a fucking BTS member!"

Taehyung smirks at you when Ky says 'dating,' and you roll your eyes, but don't correct her this time.

"As much as I'm glad you believe me, Ky - Tae, I just want to say I'm sorry. We never exactly talked about who can know about us and all that stuff. Even though I've been meaning to for a while," You mumble your last sentence.

"Angel, it's okay," Taehyung chuckles out. "I'm fine with people knowing as long as you trust them. I trust your judgment and know you won't do anything stupid."

And you mentally smack yourself for what you are about to say now. Taehyung just admitted to trusting your judgment, but one of your best friends - ex-best friend - stabbed you in the back with this piece of information. Making you feel utterly stupid. 

"W-well Tae… the thing is…."

You look everywhere but at the phone. Not wanting to see Taehyung's reaction when you tell him what happened.

"What's wrong?"

"I-" You swallow the lump in your throat. "Mara was with Ky and me when I found out about you, and I kinda just found out something about her today…."

You feel your vision blur a little, feeling tears start to form in your eyes from the loss of your friend.

"Y/n… are you okay?"

"Y-yeah, I'm fine." But your tears contradict your words. Ky pulls by your waist closer to her. Trying to give you comfort while you cry for the second time today. You wipe the tears as soon as they fall, but Taehyung doesn't miss them.

Taehyung watches you wide-eyed, and his smile is now completely gone. Replaced with a frown and not liking watching you cry.

"It doesn't seem like your fine, Y/n. What happened?"

Ky whispers in your ear, "Do you want me to tell him?" But you shake your head. You're a big girl, and you've let Kwang stop you from saying and doing a lot of things in the past. One thing you'll never let him have power over you is telling the truth and telling it to Taehyung right now.

"Mara told Kwang about us, and now me and h-her… She and I aren't friends anymore. I thought I should tell you because you know about Kwang… and I don't know what he'll do about this information."

You watch Taehyung's eyes go wide, and you're hoping he's not mad at you for doing literally the opposite of what he just said. You trusted Mara as much as you trusted Ky, before today at least. You never expected this to happen, and you're preying on the inside right now that it doesn't ruin everything you just built with Taehyung.

"Why would she tell him?" You hear Taehyung's voice get more profound, and for the first time, you don't like the sound of it.

"Apparently, they've been dating for three months behind my back. It's like Mara completely forgot everything he's done… and now he knows about us, and I’m kinda scared about what exactly he will do about it."

Your voice breaks as you speak. Hating your own words and how true they are. You look away from the camera in shame. Even more afraid now to know Taehyung's reaction.

Out of everything that's happened, you feel like this can be his excuse to leave you. His career is too important to have someone like you, an average girl and her stupid problems, mess it up. Even if nothing has happened yet, it's now a possibility that something will.

"Y/n, look at me." You do. "I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you over something like this. It's just… you told me about Kwang. Fucking hate the bastard, by the way, but this is… this is serious. I can't have the public knowing about us. Definitely not yet, anyway."

You nod your head in understanding. Feeling tears form in your eyes for new reasons now.

"I understand. And I u-understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore-"

"Absolutely not!" You jump at his outburst. "Y/n, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that we just need to be more careful. I know we're on a break if that's even still happening, but I still want to meet you and have you in my life. I don't think you realize just how important you are to my life now," Taehyung chuckles when he finished speaking, but it's a sober one. Like there was nothing funny about what he said, but he can't even believe how valid his words are.

And you can't believe them either. It's crazy how in sync you and Taehyung are with the way you feel for each other. How both of you never have to worry about betrayal or using the other for advantages.

Yes, you felt at one point that Taehyung was using you like Kwang did in the past. But that was because Mara got in your head. And Taehyung thought at one point he couldn't trust you, but that's because he's an idol and has been dealt a lousy hand in the past. It was also when you first started talking all those months ago.

Now, in the present, you look at Taehyung and know… You know you can trust each other. You know you both are in this for the long run. You know this isn't just something to pass the time or even a relationship that stays with no label.

This relationship is going to be something one day. That the second you meet, it will be something more without question. That the second you look into each other's eyes in person for the first time, you'll both know.

You'll both know you love each other until the bitter end… and you think you’re feeling that love right now. Falling for Taehyung slowly all this time, but you know now.

You’re in love with Kim Taehyung, and you don't want to be without him anymore.

"I want to meet you… in person."

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CH 11

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Ending Notes: That’s right bitches! They’re finally going to meet each other in the next chapter! OMG I’m so excited! I’m the one writing it, and I’m excited XD

Sorry it took such a long time, but I did say it was a slow burn. I just took the slow burn tag to the extended limits lmaoooo

There will still be drama, and all that good stuff in future chapters, but we finally got to the point in their relationship to meet. And reader loves Taehyung now! How fucking cute!

But does Taehyung feel the same….? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯