#brush cutter electric

[stihl-india]

A Guide to Choosing the Right Tools: Electric Brush Cutter Machines and Chainsaws

When it comes to maintaining landscapes or handling tough cutting tasks, the right tools can make all the difference. Whether you're trimming grass, cutting through dense foliage, or tackling heavy-duty woodcutting, investing in high-quality machinery like an electric brush cutter machine, an electric chainsaw, or a petrol chainsaw can improve efficiency and make the job easier. This guide will help you understand the differences between these tools and why each might be the best choice for your needs.

1. Electric Brush Cutter Machine

The machine is a versatile tool designed to cut through thick grass, small bushes and overgrown weeds. Unlike a traditional grass trimmer, brush cutters have a powerful motor and interchangeable blades, allowing you to handle tougher landscaping tasks. These machines are ideal for homeowners looking for a tool that can handle more than just lawn trimming. They are lightweight, environmentally friendly and require less maintenance than petrol-powered versions. Plus, electric brush cutters are quieter, making them an excellent option for residential areas.

2. Electric Chainsaw

If you need to cut through smaller trees or handle lighter woodcutting jobs, this particular machine is a great choice. These chainsaws are easy to use, with the added benefit of being environmentally friendly due to their lack of emissions. They are also quieter than their petrol counterparts, making them suitable for use in noise-sensitive areas. These are ideal for homeowners who need to maintain their garden or backyard, as they offer enough power to tackle moderate woodcutting tasks without the complexity of fuel handling. With features like automatic oiling systems and tool-free chain adjustments, these chainsaws are becoming an increasingly popular choice for both beginners and seasoned users.

3. Petrol Chainsaw

For heavy-duty cutting tasks, this machine is the go-to tool. Unlike chainsaws which are electric, petrol-powered chainsaws are designed to handle larger jobs, such as felling trees and cutting thick logs. These chainsaws are generally more powerful, offering higher torque and extended run times, making them ideal for professionals or individuals with large-scale cutting needs. However, they do require more maintenance due to fuel handling and engine upkeep. Despite being louder and producing emissions, these chainsaws remain a favourite among those who need a reliable and robust tool for demanding outdoor work.

Conclusion

When selecting the right cutting tool for your tasks, it’s essential to assess the scope of your work and choose a machine that matches your requirements. Whether you're looking for an electric brush-cutting machine for light landscaping or a petrol chainsaw for heavy-duty jobs, having the right equipment is crucial. For high-quality, reliable tools, STIHL stands out as a trusted brand. Known for their durability and innovation, STIHL offers a range of cutting machines, including electric chainsaws and petrol-powered equipment, catering to both residential and professional needs. With STIHL, you can ensure that you’re investing in tools that deliver superior performance, longevity and ease of use.

[outetooling]

Unleash the Beast: The Power of a Powerful Chainsaw

When it comes to tackling the toughest outdoor tasks, nothing compares to the reliability and strength of a powerful chainsaw. Whether you're cutting through dense forest, managing storm damage, or prepping firewood for winter, a powerful chainsaw is your best companion.

The market is flooded with options, but what sets a truly powerful chainsaw apart? It's the combination of engine performance, cutting speed, and ergonomic design. A powerful chainsaw should start effortlessly and deliver consistent power throughout your work. Look for features like anti-vibration technology and automatic chain lubrication to enhance your cutting experience.

Safety is another critical aspect. A powerful chainsaw must include safety features such as chain brakes and low kickback chains to protect users during intense operations. Regular maintenance is key to keeping your powerful chainsaw in top condition, ensuring it remains a reliable tool for years to come.

If you're in the market for a powerful chainsaw, do your research and invest in quality. Brands that prioritize durability and performance will always provide the best results. Remember, a powerful chainsaw is not just a tool; it's an investment in efficiency and safety for all your cutting needs.

Equip yourself with a powerful chainsaw and tackle any challenge with confidence and ease!

[sonamytrash]

A good fuckin' show

Electrician Toji Fushiguro.

Porn trope Toji series, part 1🖤

Warnings: MDNI, Dom!Toji x fem!reader, shameless smut, smut with minimal plot, smut with porno plot, vaginal fingering, eating pussy, eating ass, fisting, squirting, oral sex (m and f receiving), cum swallowing, dirty talk, probably more, not proof read.

I don't know what to say for myself. I got carried away, but there's no way any Toji in any universe wouldn't be this feral. Wrap up, don't let your electrician fist you unless it's Toji. Enjoy you nasty sluts 🖤

Dividers by @cafekitsune

The rain pattered against the windowpane, casting a rhythmic pattern of shadows across the living room carpet. You pull your hair into a messy bun as you stare at the clock. It was 2:58 PM on a dreary Saturday. The TV hummed with a cooking show, the only company you had while waiting for the electrician you'd called earlier that week.

The sudden knock at the door startled you. You peered through the peephole, and there he was: Toji Fushiguro, the man who'd been recommended by your friend. He was tall, his broad shoulders almost filling the doorframe, and his handsome face was a picture of confidence. You felt your heart skip a beat, not from fear but from the electric charge that seemed to pulse through the air around him.

You undid the lock and opened the door. "Hi," you said, trying to keep your voice steady. "You're the electrician?"

Toji nodded, flashing a grin that made your knees weak. "Yep, that's me," he said, his eyes shamelessly roaming over your figure. "Toji Fushiguro, at your service." He stepped inside, his work boots squeaking slightly on the polished floor. The air grew thick with tension as he moved closer, invading your personal space in a way that was both intimidating and tantalizing.

You led him to the flickering light in the lounge, trying to ignore the way his gaze lingered on your hips.

"So, what seems to be the problem?" he asked, his voice a low rumble that seemed to resonate through your very core.

You pointed up at the light fixture. "It's been doing this for a few days now," you said, your voice a little shakier than you'd intended. "I don't know much about electrical stuff, so I figured it was better to call a professional."

Toji nodded, his eyes still fixed on you as he pulled out his toolkit. "Might just be a loose wire," he murmured, setting the tools down on the floor. He walked over to the switch, turning the light on to see the issue for himself before turning it off again. He reached up, his strong arms flexing as he unscrewed the cover. "Let's see what we can do about that."

As he worked, his shirt rode up slightly, revealing a trail of dark hair that led down to his waistband. You couldn't help but stare, your thoughts drifting to the powerful body that lay beneath. The room grew warmer, or maybe it was just your imagination. You licked your lips, feeling a familiar ache building between your legs.

Toji must have noticed your gaze because he glanced down, catching you in the act. He smirked and leaned in closer, his breath hot against your neck. "You like what you see?" he said, pulling you from your thoughts.

You blushed, trying to play it cool. "I'm just admiring your... work ethic," you replied with a roll of your eyes, your voice a breathy whisper.

Toji chuckled, his deep laugh sending a shiver down your spine. He stepped back and bent over the toolkit, his pants stretching tight across his muscular ass. You felt your eyes wander, taking in every inch of his body. He pulled out a pair of wire cutters and a screwdriver, his movements deliberate and precise.

"Might need to get up there to take a better look," he said, his eyes twinkling mischievously, "Could you help me out?"

You nodded, a mix of excitement and nerves bubbling in your stomach. You stepped closer, reaching to hand him the ladder from the nearby closet. As you did, your breasts brushed against his hand, and you felt a spark of desire ignite. He took the ladder and set it up under the light fixture, his biceps bulging with the effort.

"You can just stay down there," he said, his voice gruff. "I'll let you know if I need anything."

You watched as he climbed the ladder, his thighs flexing with every step. When he reached the top, he leaned over, giving you a perfect view of his ass. You bit your lip, trying to focus on the task at hand, but the anticipation was too much.

"You can go ahead and hand me those wire strippers," he said, holding out his hand without looking down. You reached up, your fingertips grazing his palm as you handed them over. Fuck, his hands were so big.

As you watched him work, you couldn't help but let your thoughts wander. The way his muscles moved beneath his shirt, the scent of his cologne, the roughness of his hands. Before you knew it, your own hand was resting on your thigh, squeezing slightly. You could feel your pussy growing wetter with every passing second.

Toji paused in his work, sensing the shift in the air. He glanced down at you, his eyes darkening. "You okay down there?" he asked, his voice a little gruffer than before.

You nodded, trying to regain your composure. "Yeah, I'm fine," you said, your voice strained.

Toji took his time climbing down the ladder, his eyes never leaving yours. When he reached the bottom, he stepped closer, so close that you could feel the heat emanating from his body. "You sure about that?" he asked, a knowing smile playing on his lips.

Your breath hitched as his hand reached out, brushing against your cheek. His thumb traced a line along your jaw, sending a shiver down your spine. "I can see you're a little... distracted," he murmured.

You swallowed hard, unable to form a coherent response. His touch was like a brand, searing through your skin and igniting a fire within you. The ache between your legs grew more intense, and you realized you'd been subtly shifting your weight, trying to relieve the pressure.

Toji leaned in, his breath warm against your ear. "Maybe I can help with that," he whispered, his hand sliding down to rest on your hip. His fingers dug in, holding you in place as he stepped closer, trapping you between his body and the wall.

You gasped as he brought his mouth to yours, his kiss rough and demanding. His tongue slid past your lips, exploring your mouth with a hunger that matched your own. Your body responded instinctively, arching into him as you wrapped your arms around his neck. His hands roamed over your body, one sliding up to cup your breast, the other slipping down to squeeze your ass.

With a growl, Toji picked you up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you to the couch. He set you down, his eyes never leaving yours as he stripped off his shirt, revealing a chest that was a sculpted masterpiece. You reached out, your fingers tracing the lines of his muscles, feeling the heat of his skin.

He kissed you again, his hands deftly unbuttoning your blouse. Your breasts spilt out, and he took one in his mouth, sucking and biting gently. You moaned, your body responding to his touch with a fervour that surprised you.

"Fuck," you breathed, as his hand slid up your thigh, pushing your shorts aside. His rough fingers grazed your wet panties, the fabric already soaked through. He leaned in, capturing your mouth again as he ground his hips against you, his erection pressing into your core.

You reached for his belt, eager to feel his bare skin against yours. He let out a low growl as you unbuckled it, his erection straining against his pants. He stepped back for a moment, pulling his pants down to free himself, revealing his thick, hard cock.

You couldn't take your eyes off it, the sight making your mouth water. "Suck it," he ordered, his voice a low growl that sent a bolt of excitement through your body. You didn't hesitate, sliding off the couch to your knees. The scent of his arousal filled the air as you leaned in, wrapping your hand around the base of his cock. You took the tip into your mouth, feeling the heat and the velvety skin against your tongue.

Toji's hands tangled in your hair, guiding your movements as you took more of him in. "That's it, baby," he murmured, his voice thick with desire. "Take it all." His curses and praise grew more fervent as you worked him, your mouth sliding up and down his length, taking in as much as you could and using your hand to pump the base. The salty taste of his precum mixed with the musky scent of his skin was driving you wild.

"You like that, don't you?" he groaned, his grip tightening. "You like being a good little slut for me." You nodded, unable to speak around his cock and tears pricked the corners of your eyes. The idea of being his, of being used by him, was intoxicating.

"Mmhmm," you managed to murmur, your voice muffled by his shaft.

Toji's grip in your hair tightened as he thrust deeper into your mouth, his hips rocking slightly as you gagged on his cock. "Such a good girl," he groaned, his voice a mix of pleasure and dominance. "So eager to please.

You moaned in response, the vibrations travelling along his length as your throat spasmed around him. He was heightening your arousal with every filthy word that left his lips. You could feel your own juices trickling down your thighs, your pussy begging for his attention.

"Look at you," Toji said, his voice a gruff whisper. "Such a greedy little whore. You want more, don't you?"

You nodded, your eyes watering slightly as you kept up the pace. His grip in your hair tightened, pulling you back and forth as he fucked your mouth. You could feel his cock swelling, growing harder with every stroke. "That's it," he growled. "Take it all, baby."

His praise was driving you to be the best you could be for him. You moaned around his length, the vibrations sending shivers through his body. His curses grew louder, his hips bucking as he reached the edge. "I'm going to cum," he warned, his voice strained. "Be a good girl and swallow every fucking drop."

You nodded, eager to please. His cock pulsed in your mouth, and you felt the first hot spurt of his cum hit the back of your throat. You swallowed, the salty taste flooding your mouth. He pulled out, stroking himself the last few times, spurts of cum landing on your face and chest. You sat back, a proud smile playing on your lips.

Toji pressed you back onto the couch, His hands deftly found the waistband of your shorts, tugging them down with a harsh jerk. Toji's gaze raked over you, his pupils dilating with desire. He slid his thumbs under the elastic of your panties, pulling them down with a slow, deliberate motion. You felt the cool air hit your skin, making you shiver.

He dropped to his knees, his breath hot against your thighs. "Spread 'em," he ordered, his voice thick with lust. You obeyed, your legs parting as he moved closer. His hands slid along your inner thighs, his rough fingers sending shivers up your spine. You felt his mouth on you, his tongue tracing the line of your pussy before delving in. You moaned, your hips bucking as he began to eat you out.

His tounge found your clit with ease, pressing down with just the right amount of pressure. He teased it mercilessly, flicking and circling as you squirmed beneath him. Then, without warning, one of his thick digits slid inside you, filling you up. You gasped, the sudden intrusion making your eyes roll back in your head. He chuckled against your skin, his teeth grazing your clit as he added a second finger.

Toji's fingers began to move, pumping in and out of you in a rhythm that grew more frantic with every passing second. You could feel yourself getting wetter, your juices coating his hand as he worked you closer to the edge. His tounge remained on your clit, rubbing it in time with the thrusts of his fingers. It was as if he knew exactly what you needed, as if he could read your mind.

With a wicked grin, he pulled away, leaving you panting and desperate. He leaned back, his eyes traveling over your exposed, trembling body. "Ready for more?" he asked, his voice low and dark.

You nodded, unable to form words as he repositioned himself between your legs. He spread your cheeks apart, his breath hot on your sensitive skin. You felt his rough fingers slide into your pussy, coating them in your wetness before moving to your tight asshole. "Look at this perfect little asshole," he murmured, his voice a mix of awe and lust. "So tight and pink. Do you want me to play with it?" He began to massage the entrance before you could reply, loosening you up with gentle pressure. The sensation was foreign and thrilling, making you squirm with anticipation.

With a wicked smirk, Toji leaned in, his tongue darting out to taste you. He licked around the edge of your asshole, the sensation sending shockwaves through your body. You tightened your grip on the couch cushions, biting back a moan. He circled the tight ring of muscle before pushing his tongue inside, making you gasp. The feeling was intense, a mix of pleasure and pressure that was driving you wild.

As he ate your ass, his fingers remained busy, plunging in and out of your pussy. He stretched you wider, filling you with his digits until you were begging for more. You felt a third finger slide in alongside the first two, stretching you even further. The sensation was almost too much to handle.

He pulled away, smacking his lips. "You're so fucking tight," he murmured, his eyes dark with lust. "But I think you can take more." He pushed a fourth finger inside you, the blunt pressure making your eyes water. You gasped, your body tensing, but he held you down, his other hand keeping your pussy filled.

Toji began to pump his four fingers in and out, stretching you open. You felt your body start to relax, to accept the intrusion. You groaned, the sensation overwhelming. It was too much, but at the same time, it wasn't enough. You wanted more.

He looked up at you knowingly, his eyes dark with hunger. "Beg for it," he growled.

You couldn't believe the words that slipped from your mouth. "Please, Toji," you whimpered, "Fist me."

"Nasty fuckin' slut." He teases with a wicked grin, but he complied, adding the addition of his thumb, his hand disappearing into your pussy. You felt a brief moment of panic before the pressure grew, stretching you wider than you ever thought possible. He pushed in, inch by inch, his fist disappearing into your body. The pain was exquisite, a delicious agony that had you crying out in a mix of pleasure and pain.

As his fist filled you completely, his other hand moved back to your asshole, slipping a digit inside. The sensation of being so full was overwhelming, making your eyes water. You couldn't believe how much you enjoyed the feeling of his hand buried inside you, his knuckles pressing against the walls of your pussy. It was as if every nerve ending was on fire, the pleasure searing through you.

Toji leaned back in, his tongue licking your clit as he fisted you. The combination of his hand moving in and out of your tight hole and his tongue swirling around your sensitive nub was more than you could handle. You felt your orgasm building, a crescendo of sensation that was about to crash over you.

"Fuck, you're taking this so well," he murmured, his voice thick with desire. "You like that, don't you?"

You could only nod, unable to find the words to respond as he began to move his fist in and out of you with a steady rhythm. Each thrust sent waves of pleasure through your body, making you arch off the couch. His tongue danced around your clit, licking and sucking as his fist pumped in and out of your pussy. The sensation was like nothing you'd ever experienced before, a delicious mix of pain and pleasure that had you begging for more.

Toji's hand was a blur of motion, his fist disappearing and reappearing as he fucked you with a ferocity that left you gasping for air. Your orgasm grew closer, the tension coiling tight in your belly. You could feel your muscles spasming around his hand, the pleasure building to a fever pitch.

With a final, desperate thrust, your body let go. You squirted, your juices spraying all over his hand and the couch beneath you. The force of your climax was so intense that you saw stars, your body convulsing as wave after wave of pleasure washed over you. Toji's eyes widened in surprise, but his smile grew even more wicked as he watched you come apart in his arms.

As your body trembled, he withdrew his fist, your muscles clenching around his retreating hand. He licked his lips, his eyes never leaving yours as he took in the sight of your quivering form. "Damn, you're a squirter," he murmured, his voice filled with approval. "I fucking love a good show."

[luveline]

maybe a reader and roan centered ficlet where roan gets to go to readers work for the day, be like her mini assistant because eddie couldn’t find anyone else to watch her while he had to do something?

ty for requesting ♡ fem reader

The phone rings at exactly 2PM as previously discussed. 

"Ro! Quick, come answer the phone for me, baby." 

Roan climbs out from under your desk where she's sorting paperclips into cuteness piles, the skirt of her best blue dress brushing your calves, her hair in a slicked back bun but coming undone as the day goes on. "What do I say?" she asks.

You pull her onto your lap. "You say, Hi, I'm Roan Munson with Cora Enterprise Limited, how may I help you?" 

She squares her features into a fierce, determined glare. Picking up your heavy grey phone, she presses her lips to the receiver and says, "Hi, I'm Roan! How can I help you, Cora?" 

Her eyebrows pinch together before smoothing, elation quick to take. "Daddy!" 

You can't hear what Eddie's saying, but you imagine it to be like, Hey, pumpkin, you sound so grown up! How's working for a mindless conglomerate as another cog in the machine working out for you? 

"It's fun." Roan tips her head back to look at you. When your gazes connect, she wiggles her thin brows. "She's fine, dad. We're having fun without you." 

Passionate garbled talk from the other side. Roan giggles and leans further into your chest, seemingly pleased when you wrap your arms around her stomach. 

"I learned how to do the printer, and the managing, but they wouldn't let me in the lab 'cos you picked shoes with cut outs. Yes, I know I asked for them, dad." Roan hands you the phone with an expression beyond her years. "He wants to talk to you." 

"Thanks, babe." You bring the phone to your ear. "Hello, Y/N speaking."

"Hello," Eddie says, his voice warm as usual, the sound like laying under the sun on a cloudless day. "Is she behaving?"

"She's being awesome. I told you, you don't have to worry about it. I'm practically alone in my office with Mel on maternity leave and Jessica trying to impress the Swedes." You stop Roan's little hand where it tries to open your top drawer, worried about the box cutter you use to unseal samples. "She's literally no fuss. I'd have her here every day if they let me." 

Roan gasps like this is the very best idea in the world and nods at you until her head looks like it's going to fall off. 

"They might have to. I can't believe it's day four of no water at the elementary. We're lucky you could take her, what are the parents who work jobs like me supposed to do?" he asks. 

"Maybe I can have them all here. Roan's a good assistant for a six year old. In fact, she's doing a better job than I was on my first day. Right, bubby?" you ask the head of curls in your lap. 

"Right!" Roan lifts her head to the receiver, her full row of top baby teeth white and shiny in the office lights. "I'm going to do the flying cabinet next!" 

"Filing," you correct. 

"Oh. That doesn't sound as fun." She wrinkles her nose. 

"Lunch first," you say. It's a good pacifier. Boring office tasks are usually easier after one of Eddie's sandwiches. 

"I'll leave you guys to it, then," Eddie says, muffled slightly by the roaring of an electric saw. "I'll try not to feel too left out over here." 

"If I were you I'd feel very left out," you say. 

"Nice. Love you, miss you, see you at five." 

You put the phone against Roan's pale ear. "Tell dad bye," you say. 

"Bye, daddy. I hope you have a nice lunch." 

Loving babble. Roan's smile gets bigger and bigger the longer Eddie talks. She stretches tall in your chair to put the phone down before twisting to wrap her arms around your shoulders, her nose cold where it presses into your throat. You bring a hand to the back of her head. 

"What's this for?" you ask, hugging her. 

"Dad said to give you one. And to say you didn't say I love you back, so, um, you're in the bad books." 

"Not the bad books," you murmur. 

"Don't worry. I get out of them all the time." 

—

more eddie, roan and reader

[dreaming-medium]

Animals Without Direction

Chapter Twenty Six - The Dove Waltz

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Masterlist

The tinny music box in Miroh didn’t even hold a candle to how the live band sounded while playing traditional Waltz music. 

It was a different song flooding the hall but the tempo was the same. Honestly, you were a bit happy the song was different, the last one got old after the first hundred times you did the dance with Minho and Seungmin. 

Seungmin’s arm wraps around you and rests on your hip while the other grabs your hand tightly. You can’t take your eyes off his even if you tried, they’re so sharp.

Even from underneath the mask, you can see how his eyebrows twitch and threaten to pull together. The corners of his lip move towards a frown but he snaps out of it, gulping and rolling his shoulders back. 

“You are going to do magnificent,” he whispers, pulling you chest to chest with him. 

Your nerves feel so frayed, your heart is your throat. This is it, Y/N. You have two chances to get this key. 

So much rides on this. 

After a swell in the music, Seungmin takes the first step forward. Your muscles act on their own and begin to follow the dance. 

The entire circle spins around in the dance. From what you can see in your peripheral vision, it’s magnificent. You almost wish you could just be one of the bystanders watching along the edge of the ballroom. 

Four box steps. 

Seungmin’s grip on your hand changes, he spins you out gracefully, then winds you back into him. 

His lips are by your ear when you come back to him, they brush against the sensitive skin. The fabric of his suit presses into your exposed shoulders and back. 

Both of you lean away from each other in the dance, your head turning and looking up at him. Has his eyes left you once?

The farther you get into the dance, the tighter his jaw gets. 

Leaning back to center, you lift your arms above your head, moving them around and out to the side. He leads you in a spin back to the waltz position. 

Instead of grabbing your hip, his hand splays over your lower back. Your free hand’s fingers interlock before he leans you back. 

The weight of the dress is something you never accounted for when dancing, but it’s nothing you can’t handle. 

Your head falls back in the dip. 

Seungmin leans down further. His lips press right into the dip of your throat in between your collarbones. Your entire body jolts in surprise, electricity shoots down into your fingertips. 

A tiny gasp parts open your lips. 

“You will come back to me, my love.” He says for your ears only. 

You gulp, you’re sure he felt and saw it. 

Seungmin lifts you back up from the dance with taut muscles. He hesitates only for a split second before spinning you away into the arms of a stranger. 

The next handful of people in the circle are a blur of faces you will never remember. Maybe they’ll be one of those people you see in your dreams and wonder where you’ve seen that face before. 

Each of them smell like varying combinations of tobacco, musk, and brandy. Some are more pleasant than others. 

Luckily none of them try to talk to you. They just wear content smiles upon their cookie cutter faces and twirl you away to the next waiting man. 

With each partner, your heart rate increases. 

Sparing a glance to your right, you see Lord Tybesin’s gold mask reflect the light in the room. He’s your next partner. 

Your current partner spins you out and back in. 

Left jacket pocket, Y/N. Its easy. 

If you can pickpocket Lee Minho, you can pickpocket Tybesin Faefiel. 

You’re dipped down politely and brought back up before you’re spun off into the waiting arms of Inuin’s ambassador. 

In a calculated manner, you place both of your hands on his chest instead of in the waltz position. He doesn’t seem to hesitate in putting his own grubby hands on your waist. 

The key is still in the same pocket. 

You both move into the first box step. 

“And there is the lady of the night.” He smirks. “I was counting down the partners until I saw your face.”

Lord Tybesin’s eyes flicker over your shoulder for a moment and then back to your face. 

“Plus, now we do not have any prying eyes.”

Second box step. 

You giggle and play with the fabric of his lapel. “Oh, my lord, you flatter a woman like me too much.”

“Nay, I believe you are just not accustomed to being praised and worshiped as you should be.”

Third box step. 

Over and over again in your head you tell yourself to lean into this fake role. 

“And how exactly should I be worshiped, my lord?”

You bat your eyelashes at him and gaze deeply into his icy eyes. His lids droop a bit and his face darkens a bit. 

His fingers fiddle with the strings on your corset. 

Last box step. 

You bite your lip, he watches it. 

“Lady Sigyn, the ways I believe you should be worshiped are not words for polite company.”

A chill rips down your spine and you shudder. From Tybesin’s perspective, it could be perceived as arousal, but it was anything but. 

Swallowing your disgust, you twirl out and back in. Despite your instincts telling you not to, you press your body backwards as much as your poofy dress would allow. 

A low hum comes from his chest in approval. Your skin crawls.

Both of you lean away from one another.  

“You underestimate me, Lord Tybesin. I am not as good as a girl as you take me for.”

He chuckles in your ear. 

When you come back to center, he whispers in your ear, “You are exactly how I like my women, Lady Sigyn.” 

Thank The Six he can’t see your face, it twists into something nasty. 

At the same time, you look across the circle and meet two searing brown eyes, staring you down from the other side of the dance floor. 

Seungmin’s jaw is so taut, his lips are pulled thin. 

Lord Tybesin pulls your arms above your head while you keep eye contact with Seungmin. 

“The things I could do for you.” Your heart jumps in your chest at his tone. “I can only imagine how sweet you taste.”

Finally, you tear away from Seungmin’s gaze to continue the dance, twirling out and then back in.

One of his hands comes up to grab the back of your neck while the other goes down to your waist.  

Even with all the antics you pulled, neither Seungmin nor Minho ever grabbed you like this for the dip. Your stomach twists in knots as his clammy hands grip you tighter. 

He dips you downwards, your head tilts back while your entire body tenses up with anxiety. Tybesin’s fingers curl around the back of your neck and dig into your skin. 

The grab sends your brain into a crazy frenzy, you feel like a caged animal; like some sort of prey backed into a corner. It’s a possessive and domineering grab.

The dagger attached to your thigh feels like it's burning against your skin, just begging to be used and plunged into his chest.

“No inch would be left untouched, my lady.”

Your stomach flips.

Before you can even gather your wits to attempt to take the key, Tybesin brings you back up from the dip. Your noses brush together, you fight against the recoil your body tries to make.

“A beautiful lady like you needs a wealthy, powerful man like me.”

Without a response, you’re twirled away from him.

No, no, no.  

When the next partner grabs you, your brain is barely there. His disgusting words are swirling around your brain and making your skin crawl. It feels like tiny bugs are running around the back of your neck. 

Ghost-like fingers curl on your neck where his did, it’s like you can still feel his hold.

Partner after partner intercepts you and leads you through the Dove Waltz, you do not register any of them.

Perhaps on their end, you meet their eyes and look like an active participant, but your mind has been shoved down into a deeper place where you can zone out and try to forget his words. 

Additionally, the weight of not getting the key on the first try weighs heavily on your shoulders.

Rage tickles up your spine, seeping through your senses. 

It’s not until a familiar warmth latches onto your arms that your eyes register the person in front of you.

“Sigyn,” Seungmin hushes. Taking the first step in the dance, his head cranes down to look you in the eye.

“He is filth .” Your teeth are bared when you respond with a shaky voice. 

Seungmin takes in your expression carefully, by his wide eyes, you can tell that he is taken aback for a moment, but his face morphs back to an unreadable one. 

“I saw how he touched you,” he growls. The grip on both your hand and waist tightens. The firmness of his touch grounds you and brings you out of the rage-filled haze that you had fallen into. 

“I can still feel it,” you admit under your breath. Seungmin’s eyes snap over to Lord Tybesin, his own anger pooling in them. 

“Perhaps I might need my dagger back.”

“Not yet.”

He looks back down at you, leading you into the fourth box step.

“You did not get it?”

You shake your head. “Nay, I was too blinded by my anger.”

Seungmin nods, his arms move and he spins you out, then back into his chest. With both of his arms around you, even more of the nerves fizzle away. His cheek presses against the side of your head, lips right by your ear.

“Make him regret his actions.”

A shiver shoots down your spine.

Both of you lean to the side, Seungmin stares deeply into your eyes.

Back to center, your arms go above your head and then out to the side. 

“Use this beautiful anger of yours, my lady.” 

Seungmin spins you out to the side, then back to him. His hand rests on your waist to support the dip, but his other comes up and slides right into the split of your skirt and immediately latches onto your bare leg.

A gasp tears from your throat.

His large hand wraps around your thigh and squeezes possessively for a moment before it runs down and grabs your knee. Seungmin lifts your leg up through the slit to brush up against his own clothed hip.

Your head doesn’t tilt back to look at the ceiling. Instead, you maintain direct eye contact the entire time.

“You belong to us.” His words are low when they come out of his mouth, lips pulled in a snarl. 

Seungmin lifts you out of the dip and twirls you away before you can think about it any more. 

Now your heart was racing for an entirely different reason. But your nerves were steeled. You were not going to let Tybesin get the best of you this time around, of that you were sure. 

That key was going to be in your hand by the end of this dance.

When his mask glints in the corner of your vision again, you’re ready. 

You’re spun into his waiting arms which wrap around you like a cage. Again, you rest your hands on his chest.

“We meet again, Lady Sigyn.” He’s so coy and smug, you wish you could slap him.

“So it seems, Lord Tybesin.” Your response back to him is immediately. “I could not get enough of you, I had to come back for more.”

“That is not the first time I have been told that.” He leans in further towards you, Tybesin’s eyes flicker down to your lips, your chest, then back to your face.

Your head tilts to the side innocently. “If you keep looking at me that way, my lord, I am going to start thinking impure thoughts.”

One of his eyebrows cocks up. “Is that so?”  He leans in further. “I have been staring at you all night, more specifically your dress.”

Your hand creeps over to the opening of his jacket.

“My dress, my lord?”

“Aye, I was wondering what it would look like on my bedroom floor.”

Is he serious? You have to fight the urge to roll your eyes at the terrible line. You’ve heard better from the drunkards at the tavern. 

Nonetheless, you giggle. “Oh, how naughty you are, my lord.” Your entire hand slithers into his suit jacket. He doesn’t react. 

“You have heard nothing yet, Lady Sigyn.” His nose brushes against yours. Is he going to try and kiss you?

If he does…

Closer and closer your fingers inch closer to the key. You feel the metal against your fingertips. You’re so close, you can taste the victory on the tip of your tongue. 

“Would you make my body sing, my lord?”

“I would make you scream .”

You do it all at once, in one fluid motion. 

Tybesin goes to twirl you out of his arms, as you unfurl from his body, you nimbly grab the key and slide it out of his pocket.

In the time it takes you to spin back into him, you flip the key around and tuck it into the corsage around your wrist. 

By The Six… please .

Tybesin makes no move as if he’s clocked what happened, he continues the dance, with his body as close to yours as possible. 

You just want him away from you. You have the key, can’t you make a run for it?

The two of you lean to the side and then back to center. 

“Won’t you come visit my room tonight, Lady Sigyn?” He whispers in your ear.

Both of your arms are brought above your head. And, just like last rotation, you lock eyes with Seungmin across the circle from you. 

He looks up at your wrist quickly, he sees the metal glint in the light and a beautiful, sly smile stretches across his lips. 

“I will have to think about it, my lord,’ you answer plainly. Your entire tone shifts now that the mission is over. But, you know you need to see it through to the end. “Perhaps a morning visit is safer, when Lord Skye is fast asleep.”

You’re spun out, and then back to the waltz position. “Such a clever dove, you are.”

Tybesin grabs you the exact same way, fingers on the back of your neck making you feel like a cat being picked up by it’s scruff.

He dips you backwards and takes a bold move.

Disgustingly warm, wet lips press right below your collarbones. 

A bolt of anger pangs through your body and you want to scream and kick him as hard as possible. Your mind blanks for a heartbeat as you try to pull yourself back into your right mind.

Play the part, play the part, play the part.

You’re stoic as Tybesin brings you back up to him with the most smug look on his face. One solid punch is all you need, one quick right hook to the jaw would bring you more joy than anything else in this world.

But you keep it all to yourself.

“I look forward to it.”

You’re spun away.

The key in your corsage.

You did it. You did it .

A pure jubilant feeling blossoms within your chest. It feels like an elephant is lifted off of your shoulders. 

There’s an extra pep in your step with every other partner you dance with for the remainder of the dance. You twirl and spin around as if you have no other care in the world.

Who cares how silly and floaty you look, you achieved your mission and can finally enjoy this dance the way you were meant to!

Man after man leads you around the circle.

The music hits a final swell, a final curl through the air.

Your final spin is stopped by a pair of strong hands gripping yours so firmly you think it might bruise. Seungmin stares down at you with black eyes, the color of them so dark it makes your heart stutter.

The music cuts off with the final note of the song.

The entire ballroom erupts in applause. 

“Seung– Lord Skye?” You ask with furrowed brows.

He holds you against him so closely. There’s not even an inch of room between the two of you. 

Seungmin says nothing, he continues to watch you as the applause dies down.

Couples begin leaving the dancefloor and mingling with one another once more. The traditional Dove Waltz has completed. 

What’s wrong? Did something happen? You can still feel the key tucked away in your corsage. Did Tybesin notice? Is he looking for you?

Your head turns to look around the ballroom for the ambassador.

With razor sharp quickness, Seungmin reaches out and grabs your chin and brings your face back to his. 

“Eyes on me, only me. Do you hear me?” He sounds lethal .

Your eyes widen and your mouth parts open. His grip on your chin tightens.

“I asked you a question.”

“Yes,” you answer quickly.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, I hear you.”

“Good girl.”

Your agape mouth snaps shut.

Those words go right through you. It’s alarming the effect they have on you. 

You’ve always prided yourself on being a big, strong warrior who doesn’t take shit from anyone. But hearing Seungmin say that to you makes your knees feel wobbly all of a sudden. 

Seungmin moves quickly. His hand moves from your chin down to snatch your wrist. He turns on his heel and storms out of the ballroom with you in tow. 

Bodies blur past you, they all are blobs of color in your peripheral vision as Seungmin leads you through the throng. Voices mesh into a chorus of nothing.

The only thing you see is the back of Seungmin’s head. Your feet stutter in place a bit, he only tugs your wrist tighter, walking faster.

He drags you out of the ballroom and through winding hallways. The more steps you take, the further you get away from the crowd. 

SIlence begins creeping up on you. There’s a slight ringing in your ears from the absence of sound after being surrounded in it for so long.

You’re led up a flight of stairs and down another, even quieter, hallway.

Seungmin stops abruptly, you almost walk into his back.

He spins around and brings your wrist up level with his eyes, he slips the key out of the corsage and turns back to the door in front of him. His one hand never releases your wrist. 

With frightening speed, he unlocks the door and pushes open the door. He yanks your wrist and throws you into the office before him.

Because of the shoes you’re wearing, your balance isn’t the best so you stumble inside and catch yourself at the last minute before toppling over.

“By The Six!” You hiss, trying to keep your voice down. “What has gotten into y–” You spin around to yell at the rogue but your voice catches when you see him.

He’s stalking towards you, the door shutting behind him. Nimble fingers latch the lock of the door with a loud click. 

His hand shoots out and wraps around your throat, fingers pressing into the skin harshly, but not tight enough to cut off any oxygen supply– just enough to have a firm hold on you.

Seungmin yanks you forward towards him at the same time he takes a step closer, meeting you in the middle.

Like a man possessed, his face dips down to capture your mouth.

His lips press against yours so harshly you’re surprised your teeth don’t clack together. A surprised moan comes from your mouth and is swallowed by his. 

The shock only gives you pause for two heartbeats before you’re kissing Seungmin back with an equal amount of passion and hunger.

He’s feverishly kissing you. Lips gliding over yours, trying to devour your very being. 

Seungmin breaks the kiss only for a second to rip his mask off his face, throwing it to the side and then capturing your lips once more. His fingers grip your throat even tighter, your arms wrap around his neck and keep him closer to you.

“Where did he touch you?” he growls against your mouth. 

Keeping your lips locked together, you grab his hand on your throat and maneuver it around to the back of your neck where Tybesin’s was previously.

“Here,” you say quickly before capturing his lips once more. 

Seungmin’s tongue slithers out and dances against yours. 

He tastes like champagne, the same one you had been drinking all night. He sucks on your own tongue for a moment before twirling them around one more.

Hot, heavy exhales sound out between kisses.

Seungmin’s fingers curl around the back of your neck like Tybesin’s did, bringing your face impossibly closer to his. His touch is entirely different.

His possessiveness of you was intoxicating. 

Your fingers thread up his hair on the back of his head, pulling harshly to ground yourself. Seungmin moans into your mouth, his free hand groping at your waist over your corset.

“These fucking layers ,” he hisses against your lips.

With your lips locked together, Seungmin walks you backwards until you hit something hard against the back of your legs. 

The desk.

Seungmin tears himself off your mouth. With frightening strength, he spins you around and bends you over the top of the wooden desk. Papers crinkle underneath your weight as you plant your elbows down to hold your body up. 

He towers over the back of you, one hand still on the back of your neck.

With his chest against your back, Seungmin mouths at the shell of your ear. His other hand rucks your skirt around in search of the slit.

“I could not stand seeing his hands all over you.” 

He speaks so low, it rumbles deep within his chest. 

His warm fingers find the split in the fabric and grab at your thigh desperately. His nails dig into your skin. Involuntarily, your back arches and your hips press backwards.

Because of all the layers of tulle and velvet between the two of you, you’re not able to feel anything. But, by the way Seungmin’s hips rut back into you, the pressure of having you press back was just as delicious.

“You belong to Miroh. You are ours .”

Seungmin’s hand slides up and grabs the dagger on your thigh. 

You can hear the sound of the metal sliding out of the sheath.

“No one else’s. I will make sure you understand that, pretty girl.” 

Keeping your head down, Seungmin stands up, bringing the dagger out from underneath your skirt. Before you can stop him, he slices through all of the strings tying your corset up in the back.

“Seungmin!” It comes out like a pathetic squeal. He tosses the dagger to the side and lifts you up by the back of your neck.

The corset loosens around your top instantly, it falls around your top half, breasts spilling over the top.

You’re spun around again, lips pressing to yours desperately. Once more Seungmin’s tongue dances with yours as his hands push the dress down your body. The top half pools around your stomach. 

Fumbling, you pull your arms out of the sleeves.

As soon as your breasts are freed, Seungmin cups both of them with a strangled moan on your lips. He kneads them in greedy handfuls, fingers pinching and pulling at your perky nipples.

Moan after moan is swallowed up by his mouth devouring yours.

“ Fuck ,” he whispers against your lips. His hips rut into your skirts. 

Seungmin trails his kisses down your neck.

“There too.” you force out breathily.

“What?” He pauses his mouth, but his fingers continue to rub and pinch your nipples. Each movement sends a zap of arousal down to your smalls, which you’re sure are soaked and dripping at this point.

“He kissed me there.” It takes so much effort to utter the words.

Seungmin’s head shoots up to look at you. Once more, his one hand grabs at your throat.

You meet his dark, arousal blown eyes. Your pants mingling between the two of your lips.

“He kissed me below my collarbone when he dipped me the second time.”

Seungmin is still for a few moments that feel longer than they actually are.

Then, something snaps within him.

He reaches down and picks you up by the waist and sits you on the edge of the desk, slotting between your legs. 

His hands fight with your skirts as he hikes them up, splitting the slit to get to your smalls. You keen into his touch, legs spreading wider to let him do whatever he pleases. 

Seungmin grabs your underwear and rips them down your legs with one hand as he fumbles with his own pants.

His head dips down to mouth at your collarbones. 

“Here?” He demands. 

Before you can answer, he bites hard right below the collarbone. You cry out, one hand flying up to cover your mouth.

“Or was it here?” He moves to the other side and bites equally as hard. 

He sucks the sensitive skin roughly, with your one hand, you roughly grab at his hair, trying to pull him off you.

Seungmin only moves to the side, sucking another purple mark into your skin as you cry out. 

“Here? Did he fucking touch you here?”

You’re so preoccupied by his torture on your collarbones that you’re not aware of his other movements until something hard prods at your entrance.

“I’ll make sure you know who you belong to.”

Without any further warning, he pushes into you, filling you to the hilt. A pathetic cry falls out of your mouth and into your hand. Seungmin lets out an equally fucked out moan.

Your cunt sucks him in so well his eyes roll back in his head. His anger and jealousy consume him, adding pleasure is making everything that much better .

He pulls out just to fuck into you harder, his hips slamming back into yours.

“All night you let him toy with you,” he growls into your neck. He sucks mark after mark, leaving purple blotches everywhere on your skin. “All night I had to watch as someone else eye-fucked my woman.”

“Seung– Seungmin! Fuck!”

It feels so fucking good.  

He’s fucking into you so hard, your eyes are rolling to the back of your skull. You pull his hair to try and bring his face back up to your lips, but he won’t stop marking your once flawless skin.

“Touching him.” Another harsh suck. “Letting him touch you.”

At this rate, he’s going to run out of skin to mark up.

Growls emanate from deep within his chest as he fucks into you with abandon. 

“Thought I would be able to– fuck! – handle it. But I could not fucking stand it.” He moans into your neck. 

His hips are pistoning in and out of you so fast, fucking into you so deep that you’re not sure you’re going to be able to walk for days. 

“Wanted to fuck you right in front of his own fucking eyes.” Seungmin’s mouth doesn’t stop. “Make sure he sees you come undone on my cock.”

You’re a panting, moaning mess in his arms. One hand in his hair, the other clamped over your mouth.

Finally, he picks his head up from your chest. Instead of the cloudy, lusty haze in his eyes, you’re met with piercing sharpness. 

Seungmin’s hand slithers down into your skirts, finding your clit and rubbing it in time with his thrusts. His other hand comes up and rips your hand away from your mouth.

“Who do you belong to?” 

“You!” you cry out.

“Not good enough. Who do you belong to?”

“Fuck! Seungmin!” 

He shifts the angle of his cock and suddenly he’s slamming into your g-spot over and over again. 

“You–” thrust. “Belong–” thrust. “To–” thrust. “Miroh.”

You’re holding onto him for dear life as he fucks the life out of you on the ambassador’s desk.

Your orgasm creeps up closer and closer. You know that Seungmin can’t be far behind by the way his thrusts begin to get sharper and sharper, his rhythm faltering with small whines and grunts.  

“I belong to you! I belong to Miroh!”

Loud whines begin tearing from his lips as he gets closer and closer to the edge with you. 

“Cum on my cock, Y/N.” He begs, slamming his lips onto yours afterwards. “Fucking come apart all over me. Come on, pretty girl.”

He thrusts a few more times until the band within you snaps, your orgasm washing over you like a tidal wave. Seungmin swallows your screams with his own mouth. 

Your mind whites out as you let him consume you whole. 

With a deep growl, his own orgasm slams into his body. His cock jumps and spurts within you, painting your walls white. 

His hand grabs at the back of your neck, keeping your lips on his as you both ride out your shared orgasms. 

You’re clinging onto one another as if the world may come to an end if you let go. 

You feel the pleasure continuously shoot down through your toes, pussy pulsing around him every few seconds in the aftershock. 

After a few moments of shared bliss, you finally tear away from one another. Seungmin looks so fucked out, you wonder for a moment if you look equally as bad as he does. You have to.

He scans around your face before leaning in and pressing a long, sweet kiss to your lips.

“I may have gotten carried away.” 

“You think?”

[pjsk-headcanons]

kotaro mita. oh how i love kotaro mita. he knows the entirety of hardware store by weird al. an asks him to sing a song he knows off by heart and this is what she gets.

"nothin ever ever happens in this town feelin low down down not a lot to do around i thought that i would go right out of my mind until a friend told me the news he said hey you know that vacant lot right beside the gas station well somebody bought it and on that spot theyre gonna build a shop where we can go buy bolts and screws since then ive been walking on air air i can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair cause m so excited and i really dont care ive been waiting since last june for this day to finally arrive m so happy happy now just to be alive cause any minute now im gonna be inside well i hope they open soon i cant wait no i i cant wait oh when are they gonna open up that door im goin yes im goin im goin to the goin to the hard ware im goin really goin to the goin hard im goin to the hard yes im goin to the ✨Hardware store✨ theyve got allen wrenches gerbil feeders toilet seats electric heaters trash compactors juice extractor shower rods and water meters walkie talkies copper wires safety goggles radial tires bb pellets rubber mallets fans and dehumidifiers picture hangers paper cutters waffle irons window shutters paint removers window louvres masking tape and plastic gutters kitchen faucets folding tables weather stripping jumper cables hooks and tackle grout and spackle power foggers spoons and ladles pesticides for fumigation high performance lubrication metal roofing water proofing multi purpose insulation air compressors brass connectors wrecking chisels smoke detectors tire guages hamster cages thermostats and bug deflectors trailer hitch demagnetizers automatic circumcisers tennis rackets angle bracket duracells and energizers soffit panels circuit brakers vacuum cleaners coffee makers calculators generators matching salt and pepper shakers 💥🔥‼️" "kotaro what the fuck"

by 🎲 anon. yes i did this from memory.

.

[zombiekillerbiceps]

The First, Good Birthday

Note: this was so sweet and romantic to write. /I am ignoring resi6 and it's existence it's supposed to be fluff just work with me here/

Content: 2.3k, 18+, SFW, slight angst, fluff, mentions of drugs (a joint) and alcohol, between re2 and 4, Leon x Reader, gn reader, no y/n.

Reader gives Leon his best birthday yet.

"That is... The saddest fucking story anyone's ever told me," you say, genuinely shocked.

"No, no, it was great cause the socks were really well made," Leon insisted, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Yeah, Jesus, I wouldn't celebrate my birthday either."

Leon snorted his amusement, raising his eyebrows as if to say I told you so.

What he told you was that he never really got to celebrate his birthday in his foster home. It was usually half-forgotten and rushed, gifted things likely found around the house or picked up at the gas station with the price tag still on it. The best birthday he ever had as a child was his 13th birthday. His foster parents had just gotten a huge donation, which meant he got fun necessities like... An electric tooth brush and good, wool socks.

"What about your best birthday as an adult?" You ask, hoping the story will lighten the mood. You expect some drunken, coming-of-age quest that you can make fun of him for later.

"My 18th birthday," he says. "I aged out of foster care. It was my first day in my own apartment and I went out and got a steak dinner."

"With friends?" You ask.

He doesn't answer.

"Babe, with friends, right?"

Still no answer.

"You understand we have to throw you the best birthday anyone's ever been thrown, right?"

-

When his birthday rolled around, you really did go all out, right from the minute you woke up. You made pancakes using the dinosaur-cookie cutters you were gifted as a gag one year. They were metal, and you definitely burned yourself a few times trying to flip the flap jacks. But, the result was vaguely dinosaur shaped pancakes that were too thick to cook through fully. So, that was... good.

When Leon finally padded out to the kitchen, he found you running your hand under cold water, butter burning in the pan, and a Jurassic Park-level dinosaur pancake massacre as the pancakes lost their shape and broke apart under their own weight.

He rushed over to turn off the stovetop. He pulled the spitting, smoking butter pan off the element and moved towards the sink where you were leaning, quickly avoided disaster, and put the pan on a different element. He was then at your side assessing the burn.

"I'm fine, really, I get worse burns at work," you tell him.

"What were you even trying to do?"

"I don't know, make you a cute breakfast."

His eyes drift over to the graveyard of dismembered dinosaurs.

"Nothing says cute like uh. Shapes."

"They were triceratops," you inform him as matter-of-factly as possible. "And a T-Rex."

He laughs, a surprised bark of laughter that makes the burned hands and messy counters worth it. His eyes squint up and he throws his head back as he laughs. His hair falls out of his face and catches the early afternoon light, illuminating him like a halo, and for a moment you just appreciate how beautiful he is.

"Why don't we just go out for breakfast?" He offers.

"Yeah, that's a good idea," you agree.

The two of you wind up at your favourite local coffee shop. It was a bit expensive, but their lattes truly were something special. Plus, their breakfast sandwiches were better than the under-cooked flour waiting for you at home. You take the morning slowly, sipping coffee on a warm patio, watching the world go by.

"Alright, what time is it?" You ask, stretching your arms above your head. Leon checks his phone.

"Noon," he tells you. "Have something else planned?"

"Not until later," you say. "I thought we could hit that independent book store down the street."

"When you said this was going to be my best birthday ever, I really expected more fanfare," he teased you.

"Can it, or I'm getting the socks."

He laughed with you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder as you walked. It was a beautiful day out. Bright sun, clear skies, and a cool enough breeze to fend off the heat. Leon smiled easily, his body relaxed for once. Even if it wasn't a big, flashy birthday, you thought that giving him an afternoon where he could just relax with you was good enough.

The bookstore was inside an old house. Doors were taken off hinges so former kitchens and bedrooms could be turned into the Paranormal Mystery and Erotic Thriller sections. Bookcases overflowed with worn paperbacks, books cluttered half-open across tables, and novels spiraled up the staircase until there was hardly enough room to go up and down. A kindly old woman manned the check out counter with her bespeckled face buried in an Agatha Christie mystery. Her wife, a sturdier old woman rearranged a stack of scientific non-fiction. A big golden lab with a white muzzle laid on the porch and happily thumped his tail in greeting, licking Leon's hand as he passed. A fluffy, one-eyed cat stretched out across an open copy of Moby Dick like she was reading it.

You and Leon took your time picking through books, occasionally picking one up and dramatically reading the back or a choice passage to one another. You got to learn a lot about him. He liked poetry books, but pretended he didn't. He hated thrillers. He was interested in architecture, hovering around their section for longer than you anticipated, but you didn't mind. Least surprising was his love of classics.

In the end, you two left the store with only a few books. One by Trevor and Chamberlain titled Eastern European Castles and their Effect on the New American Rich, as well as a copy of Don Quixote, and an annotated pocket poetry book from the 1800's that you pretended not to see. You wouldn't judge him for it, but if he wanted to keep his love of poetry secret, you'd let him.

"This was a really nice birthday," Leon said, kissing your temple as the two of you left the bookstore feeling undeniably a little dusty.

"Was? It's not over yet!"

You insisted on getting some food that you could eat while walking on your way home. Dinner wouldn't be until late. You settled on vegetable kebabs and fresh squeezed lemonade.

"Go shower," you told him almost as soon as you got home.

"Are you planning on joining me?" He asked, hands playfully pulling at your hips. You blushed, giggling while you swatted him away.

"I've got a few more things to do. Hurry up, we don't want to be late."

You cleaned up the kitchen and sent off a few, final texts verifying everyone would be there. You prepped up a few things for dinner, and then since there was still time, you hopped in the shower with Leon for just a few minutes. Not long enough to do anything fun, but you cherished the quiet intimacy of washing his back and shoulders for him. Kissing the freshly clean skin when you were done.

The next hour or so happened in a blur of responding to texts and getting ready and playfully teasing Leon about the upcoming night he knew nothing about. Finally, wearing accidentally matching black button ups, you and Leon left the house. He insisted on taking the motor cycle. And he insisted on taking the scenic route, meaning he showed up late to his own birthday party.

The venue was a semi-upscale whisky bar. It struck a balance between modernism and industrialism, giving it a cool (but kind of snotty) vibe. You led him in by the hand. When the door swung open, you were greeted by a live jazz band and, almost immediately, a cheering chorus of voices.

Most of Leon's coworkers leaned over at the bar, raising their glasses in greeting of him. Leon left you to greet them, grinning and laughing with them immediately. One of them raised a glass to you, and you gave a lazy two finger salute back.

"Hey! Kennedy!" Emerging from the bathroom was an absolute behemoth of a man, Chris Redfield.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Leon cried. The two hugged tightly, patting each other on the back the way men did. Not too many men could make Leon look small, but Chris sure did.

A feminine hand gently touched Leon's back, and you watched him light up for the third time that night as he recognized Claire. Leon wrapped her up in a hug that lifted her off the ground. You smiled to yourself, watching as the three of them immediately get swept up in reminiscing. Leon's coworkers surrounded them, loudly talking and joking amongst themselves.

It was about an hour before another woman joined Leon at the bar, earning a surprised cry from Leon and his coworkers.

"Hunnigan!? Who got you to leave the house?!" One of them asked. Hunnigan shrugged, then tilted her head over to where you sat, half watching the party and half listening to the band. Leon beamed at you from across the room and you instantly got butterflies.

You got a text about twenty minutes later.

Meet us outside.

You approached the crowd to take Leon by the hand. He immediately turned and kissed you so passionately it took your breath away. You stepped away from him to a wave of oooooohs. In front of all his friends? Embarassing. And flattering.

"One more present," you tell him. He looks at you like he doesn't believe you.

"What more could you possibly give me?"

"Well, Hunnigan is the one that pulled this one together. You owe her big time. C'mon." You led him outside by the hand.

The cool night air was a welcome reprieve. You didn't realize how warm the bar was until you stepped into the night. Waiting outside was a nameless suit in front of a rich black car. He held a letter.

You gestured for Leon to take it. He did, cautiously, his eyes quickly serious and observant. You didn't miss how his hand hovered over his empty hip. You wondered if he was even aware of doing it. When he took the letter, the suit got back into the car and they drove off.

Leon read the letter. Then again. Then again. Tears started to well in his eyes and your heart dropped into your stomach.

"Babe, I'm so sorry, I thought it would be a nice-" he cut you off with a crushing hug. He buried his face into your shoulder and held you until your hands went numb.

"I don't know how you pulled this off," he said. "But, thank you."

You kissed him on the cheek and separated yourself from him.

"Why don't I go get Claire?" You offered. He smiled at you, and you took that as good enough.

You went back inside to get Claire. Leon showed her the letter, and her eyes widened, looking between it and Leon in disbelief.

"A letter from Sherry?" She asked. Leon nodded, and you headed back inside to let the two have a private moment.

You took the opportunity to get to know Leon's friends. Hunnigan complained about his attitude, his friends told embarrassing stories about him, and Chris alternated between praising Leon and solidifying some sibling-like rivalry between them.

Leon and Claire eventually came back in smelling like good weed. You assumed Claire brought a joint with her, as she was known to do at parties. All of you drank and chatted and joked. Laughter came often and in great, thunderous roars. At one point Leon dragged you onto the dancefloor, and when he got tired, Claire happily took his place.

-

Chris received a text from Jill and had to excuse himself to "tend to the missus." His leaving signaled the beginning of the end, and slowly the party thinned out until it was just you and Leon again. You two decided to walk home, too intoxicated to drive.

You two chatted the whole way home, gossiping about this person and that event. Leon was practically bursting with energy. His stomach growled and you had to soothe him with promises of one last present.

"Hey," he stopped in front of the door of your shared home. He took your face in his hands, gratitude plain on his face. "Thank you for tonight. Especially Sherry's letter, I have no idea how you-"

"Again, Hunnigan. I think I owe her a life debt now."

"You." Leon insisted. "You had the idea. You made it happen. You made everything happen tonight, and I don't know how to thank you."

"It's a birthday party, you don't have to thank me."

He kissed you, slow and gentle. He held you close in his arms while he did. You felt how much he loved you then, maybe more than any other kiss he'd ever given you. Eventually he pulled away, the affection in the softness of his gaze making him look like a younger, more hopeful man.

"One more present," you insisted.

You lead him inside the house and set him up in front of the TV while you cooked dinner. It went off without any of the prior disasters, luckily. Then you set up the table with the fanciest tableware you had. When you called Leon in, he could only chuckle in disbelief.

"One fancy steak dinner for one Monsieur Kennedy," you announced with quiet bravado, pouring a glass of Malbec.

He sat down at one end. You sat at the other. The two of you were starving and the meal went down pretty quickly, but not unsavoured. When you were done, Leon took your hand in his.

"A nice steak dinner shared with the love of your life," you said, gesturing with your free hand. The dying candle light warmed Leon's complexion, capturing his blonde hair in an orange glow. The flame danced in his blue eyes. He looked at you with nothing but love and appreciation. He looked beautiful. "Happy 25th birthday, my love."

-

[ispyspookymansion]

hey saw you're collecting recipes which is so fun!! thought I'd hand over one of my own for Marranitos which are my favorite cookies in the world and this is the recipe my Tata (grandpa) taught me! <3

• 1 1/4 cups packed grated piloncillo (panela/brown cane sugar)

• 1/4 cups butter room temp

• 2 large eggs

• 1/3 cup of milk

• 1 1/2 teaspoon mexican vanilla/or vanilla bean paste

• 1 1/2 teaspoon baking soda

• 1 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

• 1 teaspoon ground ginger

• 3/4 cup molasses

• 1/4 cup honey

• 5 cups all purpose flour

▪︎ beat the grated piloncillo and butter together in a large bowl until combined. (Best to use an electric hand mixer) Add 1 egg, milk and vanilla then beat until smooth

▪︎ Add baking soda, cinnamon, ginger, molasses and honey and mix until it's combined

▪︎ Add in 3 cups of the flour, and continue adding flour and switch to using a large spoon to mix (wooden is best) when dough gets stiff. it'll feel a little crumbly or like it's not coming together but that's part of the process! you can start to use your hands to knead in the flour and it will come together more and should be able to be rolled out

▪︎ turn the dough out onto some plastic wrap and wrap it up, throw it in the fridge and wait about an hour

▪︎ preheat your oven to 350° and either grease your baking tray or line with parchment paper (I recommend the parchment paper tbh)

���︎ it makes a lot of dough so what I do is cut it in half and wrap one half back up until I'm ready to deal with it. (you can also freeze the other half of the dough for a few days if you want) roll out one half on a surface dusted with some flour to keep from sticking

▪︎ cut out the cookies (traditionally you would use a pig shape cookie cutter but if you don't want to buy one, you can honestly just use any shape) place them on your baking tray. You can go ahead and roll out the other half of the dough and cut out more cookies

▪︎ beat the remaining egg and brush thin coats onto the cookies before putting them into the oven. Bake for 10-15 minutes until they start to turn golden around the edges, you can also stick a toothpick in the middle (especially if your cookies are a little thick) and when it comes out clean they're done!

these cookies are such a comfort to me and my family and they're great with coffee or hot chocolate (my great grandma used to dip hers in champurrado during the holidays) I hope you get to make them and let me know what you think if you do!!

AW YES these sound so good i will for sure keep an eye out for a pig cookie cutter. maybe i will raid my familys cookie cutter collection and see if they have one surely they wont miss it……thank you :D

[stihl-india]

The Benefits of Using Electric and Petrol-Powered Garden Tools

Maintaining a well-groomed garden or landscape requires the right tools for the job. With advancements in technology, garden tools such as brush cutters and chainsaws have evolved to become more efficient and eco-friendly. Whether you are a professional landscaper or a homeowner with a passion for gardening, having the right equipment is essential. In this article, we will explore the benefits of using an electric brush cutter machine, electric chainsaw machines and petrol chainsaw for your gardening needs.

Why Choose an Electric Brush Cutter Machine?

An electric brush cutter machine is ideal for trimming overgrown grass, weeds and small shrubs in your garden or outdoor space. These machines offer several advantages over their gasoline-powered counterparts:

Eco-friendly Operation: Electric brush cutters produce no emissions, making them an environmentally friendly choice. They contribute less to air pollution, making your gardening activities more sustainable.

Low Maintenance: Since they don't require gasoline or oil changes, electric brush cutters are much easier to maintain. Simply charge the battery or plug it in and you're ready to go.

Lightweight and Quiet: Electric brush cutters are typically lighter and quieter than petrol-powered models. This makes them easier to handle and reduces noise pollution, especially in residential areas.

For homeowners or professional landscapers who want a tool that is both efficient and eco-conscious, the electric brush cutter machine is an excellent option.

Electric Chainsaw: Efficient and Eco-Friendly

When it comes to cutting tasks, an electric chainsaw offers significant benefits. These chainsaws are perfect for lighter tasks such as trimming branches, cutting small logs and general tree maintenance. Here’s why you might choose an electric model:

Energy-Efficient: Powered by electricity, these chainsaws are highly energy-efficient. They do not rely on fuel and can run for extended periods as long as they remain connected to a power source or have a charged battery.

User-Friendly: An electric chainsaw is generally easier to use compared to petrol chainsaws. With simple start-up mechanisms and minimal maintenance requirements, they are great for beginners or those who need a hassle-free tool.

Cost-Effective: In the long run, electric chainsaws are more cost-effective because they don’t require gasoline and maintenance costs are lower. This makes them a popular choice for home gardeners and professionals alike.

Petrol Chainsaw: Power and Performance

For more demanding tasks, such as cutting large logs or felling trees, a petrol chainsaw is often the best choice. Petrol chainsaws are known for their powerful engines and durability, making them ideal for tough jobs in forestry and landscaping.

Powerful Performance: A petrol chainsaw delivers significantly more power than electric models, making it suitable for cutting through thick trees and large logs with ease.

Mobility: Since they don’t need to be connected to a power source, petrol chainsaws offer unmatched mobility. This is particularly useful for large areas or remote locations where electricity isn’t readily available.

Long-Lasting: Petrol chainsaws are built to handle tough tasks for longer periods, making them a durable option for heavy-duty work.

Conclusion: Why Choose STIHL for Your Garden Tools?

When it comes to choosing high-quality garden tools like brush cutters and chainsaws, STIHL is a trusted name in the industry. STIHL offers a wide range of products, including the electric brush cutter machine, electric chainsaw and petrol chainsaw. Known for their reliability, performance and durability, STIHL tools are designed to meet the needs of both homeowners and professionals. With STIHL, you can be assured of efficient, eco-friendly and powerful tools that help you maintain your garden or complete heavy-duty tasks with ease. Whether you're looking for an electric or petrol-powered tool, STIHL provides the perfect solution for every gardening need.

ANDREAS STIHL PRIVATE LIMITED

Phase III, Plot No E 2/5 6, Andreas Stihl Private Limited, MIDC

Industrial Area, Village Kharabwadi CT Tal Khed,

Pune, Maharashtra, 410501

Email: info@stihl.in 

Reach Us at 91 9028 411 222

[outetooling]

Electric brush cutter suppliers play a pivotal role in the landscaping and horticultural industry, offering a wide range of tools that are essential for maintaining green spaces. These suppliers are the go-to source for professionals and home gardeners alike, providing them with the necessary equipment to trim and shape their landscapes efficiently. The demand for electric brush cutter suppliers has surged as these tools are recognized for their convenience and effectiveness. With a commitment to delivering high-quality products, these suppliers ensure that the electric brush cutters they provide are durable, easy to use, and environmentally friendly. Electric brush cutter suppliers are also known for their customer service, offering guidance on the selection of the right cutter for different types of vegetation and terrain. They often provide a variety of attachments and accessories to cater to specific cutting needs, making them a one-stop-shop for all trimming requirements. In addition to sales, many electric brush cutter suppliers also offer maintenance services, ensuring that the tools remain in optimal condition for a longer lifespan. They are also increasingly focusing on sustainability, offering electric models that reduce carbon emissions and noise pollution. In summary, electric brush cutter suppliers are a vital part of the horticultural ecosystem, providing the tools and services that keep our gardens and outdoor spaces looking their best. Their continued innovation and commitment to customer satisfaction make them an indispensable resource for anyone involved in landscaping and garden care.

[deathofpeaceofmiiind]

illicit affairs | sixteen

*Noah’s  POV* “So, where are you taking me?” I looked over at Ellie as we got into her car, she took my breath away like always. She was wearing a cropped brown t-shirt with black ripped jeans and she swapped her signature checkered Vans out with a pair of leopard print sandals. Her eyes were shielded by a pair of sunglasses as we left her parking lot and into the busyness of the city. She let me drive which I was excited about since I was still obsessed with her car, and it also meant I could keep my hand on her thigh the whole time.

“Since it’s so nice out, I thought it would be fun to rent electric scooters and go around Stanley Park.” I replied, stealing another glance at her. “You’re incredible, you know that?” I licked my lips to shield my stupid smile I can’t get rid of, “enlighten me.”

“You just manage to find perfect things for us to do.” She replied, placing her hand over mine. “I missed that.” “I missed it too.” I confessed as brushed my mouth over her hand and kissing it gently. “I’m just glad that I can experience new things with you again.”

She nods gently before leaning over the console and kissing my cheek. My face began to flush pink, making me lose focus on what was in front of me. We pulled up to Stanley Park and I lead Ellie over to where the rental booth was for our scooters. We opted out on getting helmets, despite the worker telling us we should. We just looked at each other and smirked, if she takes me out then so be it. 

The city was taking my breath away as we rode down the seawall, the scent of the ocean prickling my nose. The park wrapped around the shore, giving me a clear view of the mountains. We rode under the bridge and I had to stop to catch my breath. This place was beyond beautiful and gave me a sense of home I never felt before.

“Not bad huh?” Ellie comments as she pulls up beside me, I just nodded on account that I was completely bewildered. I took my phone out and snapped a few photos of the scenery, then turned flipped my camera so I could get a selfie with Ellie. “I think we’re due for a new one.” “Absolutely.” She agrees as she gets closer to me, wrapping her arms around my stomach. We both smiled at my phone, snapping a few so we could pick which one we liked the most. Ellie got on her tallest tip toes and kissed my cheek for a few more photos, then pulling me into a soft kiss, causing me to take even more.

“I’m putting these on my instagram.” “I thought you hated social media?” She chuckled as we got back onto our scooters.

“I made a private one a few months back just to share shit with the band and my close friends. I just didn’t like have so many people following my every move.” “Can I put them on mine? It’s private too, I have maybe 60 followers?” She asked, looking nervous about what I would say. How could I say no? She wanted to show me off as much as I wanted to show her off. I smiled, “of course you can.”

“Oh my god.” Ellie stopped dead in her tracks as we got closer to a playground. It was full of kids laughing and having a good time. She gripped her handle a little tighter as she locked her eyes on a small child with blonde hair. I wondered if it was her son. “What?” “Tyler’s over there with Liam.” She replies, my stomach turning at the sound of Tyler’s name. “I want to ignore them, but I physically can’t ignore my son. On the other hand, I don’t want hide you anymore.”

“Ellie, are you comfortable with me meeting them?” 

“Yes.” There was a tone of anxiousness in her voice. “I don’t know why I’m nervous, I want you to meet them. Let me just call him first.” She pulled her phone out, my heart beating faster the longer she spoke to Tyler. I had to admit I was impressed that they were so civil with each other now and could both be there for Liam. My eyes panned over to a tall blonde guy, his hair was covered by a backwards baseball cap, and he looked like the typical jock. Ellie did say she tried to fit herself into a cookie cutter lifestyle, and he looked like the kind of guy who would give it to her. She got off the phone and peered over to me, I couldn’t read her emotions for once. “Noah…how invested are you in me?” She asked, clutching her phone to her chest. “For the rest of my life.” “Oh wow.” She stammered, not expecting me to say that but it was the truth. “Tyler said he was more than okay with us going over there, but he just wants to make sure we’re serious. Introducing Liam to people random people is something we don’t take lightly.” “Ellie, I love you, you know that right?” I said, taking her shaking hands into mine. I looked right into her bright eyes, not daring to break our contact. “I have to admit I am a little nervous to meet this beautiful child you created, but it’s also something I don’t take lightly. I haven’t been around a lot of kids, so this is a risk I’m willing to take.” “Okay.” She nods, pressing her mouth to mine. “Lucky for you Liam is pretty friendly, so just let him come up to you. If he gets scared just give him a few minutes. Tyler is also cool with this, he’s happy we figured it out.” We walked over towards Tyler, I could feel her hand trembling the closer we got. He took his sunglasses off and shot me a stare with his bright blue eyes. There was some minor tension between us for a moment, I guess me knowing all the terrible things he did to her caused him to be a little reluctant. Much to my surprise, he took a step towards me and extended his hand, which I took immediately and shook. “Nice to meet you finally.” Tyler spoke, looking me up and down as his lip twitched. I felt like he was slightly judging me, considering I looked nothing like him. 

“Likewise.” I replied. “Thanks for letting me meet Liam.” “For sure, I just know how much this means to Ellie.” Before I could reply, Liam ran up to us and grabbed onto Ellie’s leg, but he didn’t dare take his eyes off me. I knelt down to his eye level, taking my sunglasses off so he could see me. My heart was thundering in my chest as I waited for him to make a move. I was as still as I could be, I didn’t want to make any sudden moves. “Liam, this is Noah. He’s my friend.” Liam reluctantly let go of her as I gently waved at him. I half expected him to run away or start crying, which unfortunately happens when kids see the amount of tattoos I have, but he didn’t. He walked right over to me and gave me a hug, catching all of us off guard. I wrapped a hand around his back as the smell of his sunscreen hit my nose. My eyes peered over to Ellie, who had her hand over her mouth as tears glistened in her eyes. 

“That did not take much.” Tyler commented.

“I know.” Ellie replied, sniffing tears back. “I swear this kid has a better judgment of character than we do.” While the two of them talked Liam let go of me and began to trace my tattoos, pointing out the different colours he saw. I couldn’t help but smile every time he got a colour right, it was the cutest thing I’ve ever witnessed. Liam insisted on me coming to the slides with him, which I did with no hesitation. He spent a half an hour going down and getting me to catch him. The fast he went, the louder he laughed.

“Tired?” I asked him when he came down the slide again, a huge yawn escaped his mouth. He nodded, extending his arms for me to pick him up. I scooped him up in my arms, his head fell onto my shoulder as his little eye lids began to flutter. I smirked, his trust in me was enough to make my heart swell. “You gotta tell me your secrets.” Tyler gasped as we made it back over to them. “I can never tucker him out that fast.” “I wish I had an answer.” I whispered as I quickly transferred Liam to Tyler, not daring to wake him up. Ellie came over and wrapping her hand around my arm, she looked so proud of me and it was such rewarding feeling. I was just so relieved that Liam reacted to me like he did, I couldn’t wait to spend more time with him. We said our goodbyes and once Tyler was out of view, Ellie grabbed me and kissed me gently. My hand cupped her cheek as I deepened the kiss even more. 

“Thank you for being perfect and taking the time to be with Liam.” Ellie said as we broke apart, she still had her precious smile on her face she’s had all afternoon. “Anything for you, you know that.” I replied, kissing her again. “I love you, and I know I’m going to love Liam just as much.” We headed back towards our scooters and finished our lap around the seawall. It was so beautiful out and sun was starting to burn my skin, making me realize summer was right around the corner. I was so happy to have the summer off of touring so I could enjoy it for once, especially with Ellie by my side. I wanted our future to hurry up but I was also savouring every single second I could with her. Things were finally falling into place.

[high-ass-zombie-angel-statue]

Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town

Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here

I thought that I would go right out of my mind

Until a friend told me the news

He said, "Hey, you know that vacant lot

Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it

And on that spot they're gonna build a shop

Where we can go buy bolts and screws"

Since then I've been walking on air (air)

I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair

'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care

I've been waiting since last June

For this day to finally arrive

I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive

'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside

Well, I hope they open soon

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)

When are they gonna open up that door?

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the

Hardware store

In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight

Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out

I pressed my nose right up against the glass

You know, I had to be first in line

Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom

Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house

See those hacksaws? Very, very soon

One of them will be all mine

Guys with nametags walking down the aisles

Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles

Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles

All arranged alphabetically

And they're doing a promotional stunt

There's a great big purple sign out front

That says every 27th customer

Will get a ball peen hammer free

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)

When are they gonna open up that door?

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the

Hardware store

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the

Hardware store

They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters

Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters

Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires

BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers

Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters

Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters

Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables

Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles

Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication

Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation

Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors

Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors

Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers

Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers

Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers

Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)

When are they gonna open the door?

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the

Hardware store

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the

Hardware store

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the

Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the

Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the

Hardware store

Thank you that was the ENTIRETY of weird Al’s hardware store

me omw to the hardware store

[milfweirdal]

(sawing noises) (drill noises) (hammering noises) (wrenching noises) (funky ascending then descending guitar riff) Nothing ever (ever) happens in this town, feeling low down (down) not a lot to do around here, I thought that I would go right out of my mind until a friend told me THE NEWS. He said "(hey!) You know that vacant lot? Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it and on the spot they're gonna build a shop where we can go buy bolts, AND SCREWS." Since then I've been walking on air (air), I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair 'cause I'm so excited and I really don't care, I've been waiting since LAST JUNE for this day to finally arrive, I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive 'cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside, well, I hope they oPEN SOON. I can't wait, no, I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open up that door? I'm goin' (yes I'm goin) I'mma goin' to the (hard) We're really goin' to the (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (TO) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! (sawing noises) (drill noises) (hammering noises) (wrenching noises) (funky ascending guitar riff) (frenetic lead guitar) In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out I pressed my nose right up against the glass - you know I had to be first IN LINE. Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom, want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house, see those hacksaws? Very, very soon, one of them will be ALL MINE. Guys with nametags walking down the aisles, rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles, brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles, all arranged alphaBETICALLY. And they're doing a promotional stunt, there's a great big purple sign out front that says every 27th customer will get a ball peen HAMMER FREE! I can't wait, no, I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open up that door? I'm goin' (yes I'm goin) I'mma goin' to the (hard) We're really goin' to the (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! I'm goin' (yes I'm goin) I'mma goin' to the (hard) We're really goin' to the (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! (short instrumental interlude) (passionate sigh) would you look at all that stuff...? They've got allen wrenches gerbil feeders toilet seats electric heaters trash compactors juice extractor shower rods and water meters walkie-talkies copper wires safety goggles radial tires BB pellets rubber mallets fans and dehumidifiers picture hangers paper cutters waffle irons window shutters paint removers window louvres masking tape and plastic gutters kitchen faucets folding tables weather stripping jumper cables hooks and tackle grout and spackle power foggers spoons and ladles pesticides for fumigation high-performance lubrication metal roofing water proofing multi-purpose insulation air compressors brass connectors wrecking chisels smoke detectors tire gauges hamster cages thermostats and bug deflectors trailer hitch demagnetizers automatic circumcisers tennis rackets angle brackets Duracells and Energizers soffit panels circuit brakers vacuum cleaners coffee makers calculators generators matching salt and pepper shakers. I can't wait, no, I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open up that door? (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! I'm goin' (yes I'm goin) I'mma goin' to the (hard) We're really goin' to the (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! (angelic chorus) (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HAAAAARDWARE STOOOOOOOORE (sawing noises) (drill noises) (hammering noises) (wrenching noises) (funky ascending guitar riff) (even more frenetic lead guitar)

[plasmaapologist]

( Theres lots of buildings in Nimbasa city. Not many are true, cookie-cutter commercial buildings, and even fewer have a single, scorched window. That means this must be the place... )

( Tula taps the window, scowl etched on her face. The door was locked, and while once upon a time she may have been able to handle that, it had been years since she picked a lock. The glass was thick but likely weakened from the fire...

Click! A push of the button on the Heal Ball hung from her waist, and out pops a chubby Alolan Raichu. )

"Walnut, I need you to use Iron Tail right in the center there. Just... don't cut yourself, alright?"

"Churichu!"

( A silver glint forms across the rotund rodent's tail before smashing it into the window. It definitely cracked... One more, and... crunch! There goes the window! )

"Chishichu~"

( Tula smiles before recalling Walnut. )

"Good job, lil guy. You're safer in here right now."

( She brushes aside the loose glass shards with the hilt of her sword, carefully placing them where they wouldn't be stepped on by any passing people or Pokémon. The nurse-turned-scientist-hunter then hopped through the lab window into the pitch black. )

"Fuck. Of course, the powers blown. Why wouldn't it be. Because fuck you, Tula."

( She rummages through one of her cargo pant pockets, pulling out her noticeably Rotom-less Rotom phone. Motom must have been left behind for safety. Under the small but present beam of her phone's flashlight, she begins to search for the lost Rotom, occasionally grabbing any interesting or important papers and stuffing them into her back pocket. The lab is in a sorry state. Shattered glassware, a collapsed wall, odd scorch marks everywhere, and a faint buzzing noise from under that pile of rubble.)

"Cross? You in here...? Can you- ow, fuck, my foot... Cross? You hear me? Crossssss?"

( The buzzing grows louder, and for a split second, a light flashes from a corner. )

"C- Oh, shit. Cross? Are you under there?? Can you blink for me again???"

( Nothing. )

"Shit. Okay, just... Just don't move, okay?

( Lucky Rotom, she's got a Pokémon nurse digging her out. A few small pieces of debris and the small orange ghost is revealed. )

"...pzzzzt?"

"Oh, thank fuck. You're alive. Cross, it's Tula. You remember me, yeah? You should... ah fuck, you cant say anything like this. And I doubt I'm getting you in my phone in that state..."

"pzz zzzt...."

"Alright. Alright, I'm just going to- Ow. Careful there, Cross. I don't take shocks like Vanilla I can."

( She takes a softer tone before lifting up the injured Pokémon. )

"There's no use treating you here, I'm just gonna take you to the center, okay? Don't worry, hun, I know the Joys there. I'll go back with you, okay?"

"zzzzzzzzzzz...."

( Cross lets off a sad whirring noise before collapsing into the nurse's arms, electric aura fading. )

"Oh fuck. That's not good. Okay, we're- Shit. Running. We're running. Fuck."

[askwhatsforlunch]

Rose and Peach Baskets

These Rose and Peach Baskets taste like a stroll in my garden, picking blooming flowers and ripened fruit. They make an elegant and delicious desserts, but are also quite simple to prepare. I made these for Mother’s Day (and Mum loved them!); I reckon my girlfriend would be quite fond of them too!

Ingredients (serves 2):

300 grams/10.5 ounces Rose Pastry

1 large, ripe white peach, rinsed

1 tablespoon Rosie Gin Liqueur

2/3 cup double cream

2 tablespoons Rosie Gin Liqueur

1/8 teaspoon Rose Bitters

2 tablespoons Rose Petal Jam + a little more for brushing

a few grapes Garden Red Currants

2 freshly picked garden roses*

Halve and pit peach, and cut it into slices. Place peach slices into a bowl and drizzle wit Rosie Gin Liqueur. Toss gently, chill in the refrigerator, at least an hour.

Preheat oven to 180°C/°F. Butter two 10,5cm/4.10″ square tart tins.

Divide Rose Pastry into two portions, and roll them out onto a lightly floured surface into squares. Fit each Rose Pastry square into each tin, letting the pastry overhang a bit.

Roll out scraps, without over-working the Pastry, and cut out hearts and stars with cookie cutters.

Place tart tins and Pastry hearts and stars (onto baking paper), in the middle of the warm oven, and bake, at 180°C/355°F, about 25 minutes, until pale golden. Remove from the oven. Carefully trim the edges of the Pastry cases, and let cool completely. Remove Pastry cases from the tins. Set aside. 

Pour very cold double cream into a medium bowl. Using a electric mixer, beat the cream, gradually increasing speed until soft peaks just form. Continue beating, adding Rosie Gin Liqueur, and then Rose Bitters, until stif peaks just form.

Spoon a tablespoon Rose Petal Jam at the bottom of each Pastry case, spreading it out to the edges. Spoon in a couple of dollops Rose whipped cream, and gently arrange a few peach slices. Repeat with remaining rose cream and peach slices, brushing the latter with Rose Petal Jam.

Arrange reserved Pastry trims to form basket handles. Finally, garnish each basket with a fresh garden rose (after shaking it to make sure it’s free of insects!), Red Currants and rose pastry hearts and stars. 

Serve Rose and Peach Baskets immediately, with a glass of well-chilled Champagne or Prosecco!

[heirofnepeta]

(sawing noises) (drill noises) (hammering noises) (wrenching noises) (funky ascending then descending guitar riff) Nothing ever (ever) happens in this town, feeling low down (down) not a lot to do around here, I thought that I would go right out of my mind until a friend told me THE NEWS. He said "(hey!) You know that vacant lot? Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it and on the spot they're gonna build a shop where we can go buy bolts, AND SCREWS." Since then I've been walking on air (air), I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair 'cause I'm so excited and I really don't care, I've been waiting since LAST JUNE for this day to finally arrive, I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive 'cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside, well, I hope they oPEN SOON. I can't wait, no, I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open up that door? I'm goin' (yes I'm goin) I'mma goin' to the (hard) We're really goin' to the (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (TO) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! (sawing noises) (drill noises) (hammering noises) (wrenching noises) (funky ascending guitar riff) (frenetic lead guitar) In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out I pressed my nose right up against the glass - you know I had to be first IN LINE. Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom, want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house, see those hacksaws? Very, very soon, one of them will be ALL MINE. Guys with nametags walking down the aisles, rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles, brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles, all arranged alphaBETICALLY. And they're doing a promotional stunt, there's a great big purple sign out front that says every 27th customer will get a ball peen HAMMER FREE! I can't wait, no, I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open up that door? I'm goin' (yes I'm goin) I'mma goin' to the (hard) We're really goin' to the (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! I'm goin' (yes I'm goin) I'mma goin' to the (hard) We're really goin' to the (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! (short instrumental interlude) (passionate sigh) would you look at all that stuff...? They've got allen wrenches gerbil feeders toilet seats electric heaters trash compactors juice extractor shower rods and water meters walkie-talkies copper wires safety goggles radial tires BB pellets rubber mallets fans and dehumidifiers, picture hangers, paper cutters waffle irons window shutters paint removers window louvres masking tape and plastic gutters kitchen faucets folding tables weather stripping jumper cables hooks and tackle grout and spackle power foggers spoons and ladles pesticides for fumigation high-performance lubrication metal roofing water proofing multi-purpose insulation air compressors brass connectors wrecking chisels smoke detectors tire gauges hamster cages thermostats and bug deflectors trailer hitch demagnetizers automatic circumcisers tennis rackets angle brackets Duracells and Energizers soffit panels circuit brakers vacuum cleaners coffee makers calculators generators matching salt and pepper shakers. I can't wait, no, I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open up that door? (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! I'm goin' (yes I'm goin) I'mma goin' to the (hard) We're really goin' to the (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! (angelic chorus) (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HAAAAARDWARE STOOOOOOOORE (sawing noises) (drill noises) (hammering noises) (wrenching noises) (funky ascending guitar riff) (even more frenetic lead guitar)

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