#bruh get in yo fuckin shop

[cyber333angel]

DEALER!BARRY X SPOILED!READER X DEALER!RAFE <3

you get a little too “spoiled” when with your boyfriends — barry and rafe!

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it was the weekend, meaning it was time for shopping spree at the mall! strolling around the coach store of your favorite big building, you struggle to choose which bag your boyfriends would pay for. behind you they walked, talking while watching you happily trudge in front of them. “blueberry or cherry?” you ask holding them both up next to you, posing with them in your pink tracksuit . “you can get both of em mama.” barry tells you and rafe looks at him, “she doesn’t need both, you spoil her too much.” barry rolls his eyes, “s’not like we can’t afford it big bruh, if she wants it she can have it.” you squeal at his retort, and hug him. “thank you bear!” giving him an attack of kisses on his cheek. rafe sighs “that’s not the point. you know how bratty she gets when she thinks she can have anything she wants. don’t act surprised when she throws a tantrum cause she can’t have something.”

“mhm.” barry says walking to the other shelf of jewelry with you, looking back at rafe and stick your tongue at him and say “bleh!” he furrows his eyebrows and power-walks toward you, shrieking at his scariness, you run and hide behind barry.

after shopping, you arrive home at tannyhill. “thank you rafe!” giving him a kiss for funding half the shopping spree “thank you bear!” you give your other boyfriend a kiss for the other half of funding and take your bags up to your room, placing them in your walk in closet.

later on a friday, your sitting on the couch with rafe, watching tv while he scrolls through his phone. bored you say, “rafey can we go to the mall? I smelt this miss dior perfume last week and I really liked it but we never bought it.” he doesn’t look up from his phone. “no. we already went this week, no need to go for a while.” you pout at him, “no but I really need it! im going somewhere with-“ he cuts you off. “what i just say huh? no. getting so fuckin bratty this early in the morning..” you look at him with a vexed face and you mumble. “I bet barry would take me..so infuriating”

rafe looks up at you from his phone. “what’d you say?” trying to escape the scene, you get up and walk to the the kitchen telling him, “s’nothing!”

“what i fucking thought.” he says quietly but harsh enough for you to hear. barry comes home later at night finding rafe in the kitchen opening a can of beer. “yo country club.” he looks for you and doesn’t see you with rafe as you usually are at this time, he asks ” where’s our girl?” rafe chuckles “sleeping off the badass little attitude she had today.”

barry, confused on what attitude you could possibly have, “what’d she do?” sighing, rafe shoots him a look “she started acting like a fucking brat cause I told her she can’t go to the mall again as if we didn’t go this week already. it’s because of you she thinks she can always have her way.”

barry had always been the one to be the most lenient with you, he loved you and would do anything to protect his girl. and of course rafe loves you as well and would do more than anything for you, but someone had to keep you in check and it was always rafe. “well come talk to her with me then. we’ll set her straight.” you wake up to barry picking you up by the armpits, blinking awake and rubbing your eyes with your manicured nails , “mm hi bear..”

“hey princess, we gotta talk so let’s go downstairs and get something t’a eat alright?” he readjusts the satin bonnet sliding off your head, you nod at him still sleepy. gaining energy you sit on the island of your kitchen while barry fixes you some milk and and a grilled cheese. rafe stands in front of you, you roll your eyes following from the earlier argument. he jerks his head back from the sudden sass, “don’t roll your eyes at me, you know your manners.“ he looks back at barry, “ you-you see what im talking about right? she’s getting too fucking rude. what is it, you need some dick? what’s with the attitude?” you look at him with all seriousness in your face “I wanted to go to the mall rafe!” he breathes hard through his nose. “im fed up with you. barry go talk some sense into that girl before i bend her over the table i swear.” barry turns the stove off, finishing your grilled cheese and cuts it diagonally placing it next to you with a glass milk. “what’s going on going on sweet girl? I hear you throwing tantrums round’ this house, what’s that about?” you pout at him “rafes being mean t’me saying I can’t go shopping!”

“well you know if we tell you something your supposed to listen even if it’s something you don’t wanna hear.” he tilts his head at you “hm? now why don’t you gone head and apologize to polo boy over there f’me.” you look up at him and huff, turning your back to rafe sitting on the couch you shout “rafe could you come over here please!” he rises from his seat and walks over to you, “don’t yell in the fucking house. what is it? you gonna apologize for the way you been acting?” you nod, “mhm i just wanted to say m’sorry daddy. I didn’t mean to be a brat, you just get me nice things all the time, and i guess I got carried away! it won’t happen again, promise!” holding up your pinky finger to pinky promise your boyfriend, rafe chuckles, interlocking his pinky with yours. “thanks for the apology baby, your gonna be a good girl for the rest of the week right?” he says nodding his head waiting for you to agree, “mhm.”

barry interjects, “well I think our pretty girl deserves a reward for being a big girl today right?” and rafe bows his head in a agreeing motion diving in to kiss you deeply from the right side of your body. your other boyfriend on your left, slides his rough hands on your thighs. “open your legs f’me mama.” you split your legs apart revealing the wet spot on your pink laced panties and through your thin shorts. barry takes off your short sleeping pants as well as your panties, letting the shorts drop to the floor, he puts your pink lace into his pocket. bending down he kisses you up from your calfs, up to your knees and to your inner thighs. “you gone let me make you feel good angel?” you nod frantically through rafes kisses. barry hooks his biceps under your thighs to bring you now soaked cunt closer to his face. “you smell so fuckin sweet for daddy, love this pussy.” he spits on your bud, sucking it harshly, making you squirm around the table. you whimper into rafes mouth from the intensity of barry’s lapping. rafe lifts up your shirt exposing your breasts and starts to pinch your nipples, with a different hand he unbuckles his pants. he grabs your hand and pulls out his cock letting you stroke his length. whispering “fuck..” under his breath, you paw at him faster. you shiver when barry thrust his tongue into your wet cunt, he takes his tongue out and shoves two fingers in and the other hand rubbing furiously at your clit. you take the one hand you have left and grip at rafes shirt from the extreme stimulation of your cunt. “be a good girl and come for daddy.” your boyfriend below you says, finishing you off. you arch your back, “mmph!” stuttering into rafes mouth, he lets go of your moistened lips, his dick standing tall from your jerking at it. hiccuping you say “that felt so g-good daddy.. I want you in me now please!”

“course mama.” barry gets up and lifts you off the counter, guiding you to the couch in the living room, you take rafes hand and he follows behind you. barry unbuttons his pants and his cock springs out, average height but so unbelievably thick. he sits on the couch and pulls you close to him, you hover over him letting him position his dick into your slick cunt. sinking down he praises you, “goood girl. shit, you taking me so well angel.” you mewl at him “mm it’s so big daddy!” rafe watches the scene and stands in front of you, gripping your jaw to force you to look up at him. “you wanna make daddy feel good too right?” you nod frantically and he lets go of your face, holding up his cock with one hand he slaps it on your cheek and positions it into your mouth. he thrusts his cock into your mouth making you choke, gripping your neck to make your gullet feel tighter. behind you, barry’s fucking up into your cunt with wet sounds heard all around the living room. it makes your head spin and clench harder around his cock “you doing so well for us princess, see how being a good girl gets you a reward?” you can’t answer with your throat being used but you do agree. “this fucking mouth..god you feel so good.” choking, as rafe speeds up the pace, he releases his warm load deep into your throat, thrusting as deep as he can to make it stick. “you better swallow all of it sweetheart..shittt..” he takes his cock out your mouth looking at your face. he grabs you face again “stick out your tongue.” you do as your told, showing him your empty mouth, cum nowhere to be seen but in your stomach. “good girl.” your eyes are half lidded and you smile up at him, still getting pounded from behind. “f-fuck daddy your going too hard..” barry smacks your ass, a firm slap that makes you flinch “don’t say that shit.” you sob at the harsh tone. “m’sorryyy daddy, your just hitting it so deep!”

“yeah I know mama..im bout to finish.” he puts in his last brutal thrust. plap-plap-plap and you cry at the rapid pace, taking your hands and placing them on barry’s thighs, a weak attempt to slow him down. looking up at rafe he tells you to “move your fucking hands.” you flinch, removing them and instead you reach your hands out to rafe, interlocking your hands together. barry at his climax, nuzzles his dick deep into your pussy, burrowing his warm cum into your pussy. “mm felt so good..both make me feel so g-good, oh goddd!” twitching when barry pulls out your cunt, he gets up from under you. they both admire you as the cum leaks out from your abused pussy. “what a fucking view..” after they finish using you, rafe lifts you up “let’s get you cleaned up sweetheart, did so good.” barry cleans up the pillows knocked off from this whole affair and goes to the kitchen, putting your grilled cheese in the microwave for you to eat tomorrow. your boyfriends both clean you up in the tub, they wash you off and clean out the load still buried in your cunt. they change you into one of their shirts, placing you in the shared bed you lay between them. you mumble as you drift to sleep “bear and rafey..can I go shopping now?” they both chuckle at you still acting like spoiled brat. “sure sweet girl.” as you fall asleep in their arms.

<3

[princessmyriad]

Marnie: i just love animals!! If you do too and you treat them right im sure we'll get along!

Me:*desperately trying to buy feed for my animals, who have been starving for a week bc i didnt realise winter was so close*

Marnie:*does fucking jazzercise for 8 hours a day then goes to bed* teehee i dont care about my shop or providing for any animals btw

[morrisondauthor]

“Hookup”

           I rarely used Grindr because it was full of fake profiles and paranoid DL men, but I was in a mood that night. I was swiping through profiles when a guy messaged me his phone number. I checked out his profile but the only pic he had up was a pixelated pic of what looked like a pair of shoes. I sent him a message back saying I wasn’t interested and when he asked why, I told him because he had no pics up. He then sent a message telling me to call him and I wouldn’t regret it. I was going to block him and move on but something told me to give it a try. So, I called him.

           “Wassup,” he said to me after answering the call on the second ring.

           “Are you gonna send me a pic?” I asked immediately.

           He laughed and said, “Why send a pic when you can come see me in public?”

           “Your profile said you’re on the low. How can we meet in public if you’re on the low?”

           “Ain’t nobody really in here right now. The store will be closin’ soon.”

           “Store? What store?”

           “Target. I’m in the snack shop part of the store. If you wanna meet up then get yo fine ass down here. Your pics look sexy as fuck, bruh.”

           Flattered, I laughed a little and asked, “You’re at the Target in Fairmount Plaza?”

           “Yep. I’m sittin’ at a table with my dick on brick thinkin’ about what yo head game must be like. Them lips look like they can do some damage. I ain’t never been sucked up by a dude before.”

           “You haven’t?”

           “Nah, but I heard y’all know what to do. I need my dick slurped on and gagged on for real. I ain’t nutted in over a week.”

           “Alright, let me throw on some clothes and I’ll come meet you. If you’re on any kind of bullshit, I swear I will put you on blast in public.”

           He laughed again and said, “Bruh, I ain’t on that bullshit. You’ll see.”

           “I’ll be there shortly.”

           “Bet.”

           I ended the call and tried not to get excited or get my hopes up. I really needed some dick that night and I admit I was a little turned on by the fact that he’d never been with another guy before. True curious men were like unicorns and it was always amazing seeing their reactions to some of the things I’d do to them. Before leaving to go meet up with my Grindr hookup, I told myself that if it didn’t work out then I could still jackoff while one of my anal toys was up in my ass.

                                                  Me (Marc)

           When I arrived at Target, I was a little anxious. I’d met guys in public before but something about this time felt different and I didn’t know why. I made my way to the snack shop in the store and saw two guys in there; one was at the counter talking to a cashier and the other was sitting at the table. He was sitting on top of the bench by himself so I knew it was him. He was a little too skinny for my taste but he was sexy. He did look a little rough though, like he could have been in a gang or something. Still, he was sexy.

           “Wassup,” I said as I approached him. “I’m Marc.”

           He gave me a look and then licked his lips before saying, “Wassup, bruh. My name’s Dre.”

                                                      Dre

           I looked at him for a little while without saying anything and then asked, “Are you really into this?”

           “Yeah, bruh. You good or nah? Because I need to tell my boys not to come pick me up from here.”

           “You didn’t drive here?”

           “I don’t have a car.”

           “Oh.” I thought about it for a second and then told him, “You’re good. Come on, man.”

           He hopped down from the bench and texted his friends while following me out of the store. We got into my car but I wasn’t going to take him back to my place without knowing a few things about him first. Noticing that I wasn’t starting the car, he looked at me and asked, “Why you ain’t start the car yet?”

           “Because I need to know some things about you first. What’s your status?”

           “My what?”

           “Your health status? You clean or do you have something? Because I need to know if I gotta stop by another store and pick up some condoms.”

           “I’m clean but if you don’t trust it then you can stop by a store and I can buy some rubbers. I need to get somethin’ to drink anyway.”

           “Can I see your dick before we leave this parking lot?”

           He smiled and shrugged his shoulders before reaching into his pants and underwear and pulling his semi-hard dick out. It was thick and long as fuck. I reached over to grab it and he quickly put it away and said, “Nah, you don’t get to touch until we’re at your place. Shit, you can touch it and slob on it and ride it all you want at your place.”

           I was satisfied enough to start my car up and drive out of the Target parking lot. I stopped at a convenience store near my apartment so that he could buy the condoms and something to drink for himself. When he got back in the car, he put his hand in his pants and played with his dick. It took a lot of self-restraint for me not to pull over on the side of the road and suck his dick right there in my car. We made it to my apartment complex and I wasted no time getting him up to my apartment.

           “I gotta warn you, I’m a freak,” I said to him while closing and locking my door. I turned around to see he had a gun aimed at my head. Fear immediately took over me as I asked, “What the fuck are you doing?”

           “My bad, bruh. This shit ain’t personal.”

           “Man, if you…”

           “I don’t want this shit to go bad, nigga. You need to chill. All I want is whatever money you got on you and any chains or rings you might have up in this apartment.”

           “All I got is forty dollars in my wallet. I got a gold Rolex in my bedroom.”

           “That’s it?”

           “Yes, that’s it?”

           “Give me your wallet. And do it slow. This is a revolver, bruh. This shit don’t jam and it will fuck you up.” Slowly, I pulled my wallet from my pocket and handed it to him. He immediately took out the forty dollars I had inside. He then looked through it and pulled out my debit card and asked, “How much money you got in your account?”

           “Not much.”

           He laughed a little and said, “Yeah, we’ll see about that.” He pointed to my sofa with the gun and said, “Have a seat.”

           I sat down and while he was looking through my wallet again, I slowly pulled my phone from my pocket and texted ‘Call 911 2 my place NOW’ to my friend Kelly. When Dre looked back up, I told him, “Here’s my phone, man. Just want you to know I’m not gonna try anything tricky.”

           “See, I knew you’d be easy to do this with. Most faggots do dumb shit or panic and I have to put my hands on them. I mean, I wanted to knock the shit outta you when you made me pull my dick out in the car but I ain’t gonna do you like that. My dick is nice though, right?”

           “Man, I gave you the money in my wallet and you got my debit card. Why are you still here?”

           “Nigga, you drove me here, remember? I’m not gonna steal your ride to get out this bitch so the cops can track me down quick. Besides, we’re gonna need you to use this card at the ATM.”

           “We’re?”

           “Me and my homeboys. I gotta call them and tell them where I’m at so they can come get me and you. Well, we gotta steal your TVs and computer and shit first.” He pulled out his phone and called his friends. “Yo, Breeze, you not gonna believe this shit, nigga. I got another one, bruh. I know, right?” He laughed and continued, “Come to the River West Bank apartments off of Stafford Road. The apartment is in section C and the number is C306. A’ight, nigga. Hurry the fuck up.” He ended the call and looked at me and smiled as he said, “Now, all we gotta do is wait.”

           “So, this is what you and your boys do?” I asked as I relaxed on my sofa. “You trick gay men on dating apps and rob them? That’s fucked up.”

           “The world is fucked up, Marc. And don’t act like you’ve never finessed anybody out of some money.”

           “I haven’t. I work for the shit I got. I work over forty hours a week at a job I fucking hate to make a living. I never had to rob anybody or do some dumb shit that could get me locked up.”

           “Well, I ain’t gonna get locked up because I’m always careful.”

           I looked away from him and said, “Yeah, I bet you are.”

           He sat down on my lounge chair across from me and kept the gun aimed at me. After a moment of silence, he asked, “Why do you use a fuckin’ app anyway?”

           “What do you mean?”

           “It ain’t like you’re a bad lookin’ dude. You fuck with bitches and niggas?”

           “I like men with dicks. Anything outside of that category is a no.”

           He laughed and shook his head before saying, “You faggot ass niggas are a trip, I swear. What makes a man want to put a dick up his ass?”

           “What makes a man do anything he wants to do, Dre?” I rolled my eyes and asked, “How long is it going to take your friends to get here?”

           “They said about an hour.”

           “Are you serious? Man, I got work in the morning. Look, how about me and you disconnect my TV in here and the one in my bedroom and put them by the door? We can also get my watch and other shit you can take.”

           He laughed and asked, “You wanna help me rob you?”

           “Like I said, I got work in the morning. I can always replace TVs and the money in my account.”

           “Okay, but remember, if you try anything then I will shoot the fuck outta you.”

           “Fine, whatever. Come on.”

           I stood up and he stood up, too. He put the gun in his jacket pocket and we went over to my TV. I disconnected it from the cable line in the wall and unplugged it before disconnecting my Blu-ray player and soundbar system. Together, we unmounted the fifty-five-inch LED screen TV from my living room wall. Carefully, we set it down by my door. When we went into my bedroom to get my other TV, I immediately noticed I’d left my ironing board up with my iron sitting on top of it.

           “Damn, the one in here is even bigger,” he said while looking at my TV.

           “Yeah, it’s a sixty-five-inch,” I said.

           His back was to me because he was so fixated on my TV. He took a step towards it and without leaving a single opportunity for error, I picked up my iron and hit him in the back of the head with it as hard as I could, knocking his snapback cap off. He dropped to the floor and when he slowly tried to get back up, I hit him again even harder. I then stomped his head hard. When I saw blood leaking onto my carpet, I knew he was either knocked out or dead. I quickly reached into his pocket and pulled the gun out. I honestly didn’t want to do him like that but I had no other options. Not a second later, I heard police sirens. I looked back at Dre to see he was flinching on the floor.

           “Fuck,” he said while coughing. “Why you do that, man?” He grabbed the back of his head and winced in pain.

           “Shut the fuck up,” I said to him as I left my bedroom. I placed the gun on my living room coffee table and opened the door just as the police were coming up the steps towards my apartment. I put my hands up and told them, “I live here. The motherfucker who tried to rob me is in my bedroom.”

           I let them inside and they placed Dre under arrest and called for paramedics because of his head wounds. I almost forgot that Dre’s friends were on the way but I told the police and they quickly put a sting operation together. Four cops hid in my kitchen while three more stood in my hallway while my front door was wide open for Dre’s friends to walk in. When the five of them entered, they were immediately arrested. I couldn’t believe everything that had happened that night in my apartment. I was mad as fuck about it all but most of my anger was with myself. I shouldn’t have brought Dre back to my place since I didn’t know him. I’d always thought meeting someone out in public was the right thing to do, but I realized it takes even more precaution when dealing with dating apps.

           Weeks later, I learned that Dre and his buddies were responsible for over fifty different situations involving them robbing gay and bi men they met on Grindr and Jack’d. I was their last victim and that was only by me taking dangerous chances to mess up their robbing process. What would have happened had I not hit Dre with that iron? Some of the men he and his friends had robbed were beaten and brutalized by them. One was shot in the chest and nearly died. I was lucky to have survived with no injuries but I did feel bad for all the others. To this day, I’m dealing with harassment from the families of Dre and his criminal friends who allege I lured them into a trap. Who would have known so much bad shit could come from one random hookup?

[Disclaimer]: Pictures used do not reflect the sexuality or personality of people in the pictures. They only serve as visual examples of the characters.

© D.A. Morrison 2019

[artisticestheticreads]

Summertime Magic XI

A/N: Your favorite artisticesthicreads’ series is back. This a the first chapter of the last five which means things may... I’ll just let y’all wait for that. *eveil laugh*

To Catch Up, Press Here. 

Warning: Smut, cussing, fat slurs and angst with fluff of course.

Song Recommendation: Love Songs by Kaash Paige

Word Count: 3279

“Yes, I want you, daddy”, Y/N said as N’Jadaka had her back to the wall, face between his hands. “Why you so damn pretty, huh”, he asked smiling at her tenderly. She blushed as she shrugged and he told her in her ear “Ima have to thank ya folks later but for now”. He picked her up and threw her on to his shoulder. He made his way to his bedroom as her bottom felt the breeze of the air and he said “I’m tearing this ass up.”

~

  N’Jadaka sat on the couch of his home with his eyes to the screen but his mind was only focused on Y/N. It was now October and the weather had cooled down but their relationship was anything but that. He was very thankful for her and couldn’t ask for anything more. She had been busy with her shop, hiring a whole staff for her up and coming grand opening. She also been sleeping over his place to spend more time with him, cooking, watching movies or having mind blowing, orgasmic sex.

          He heard keys jiggling on the other side of the door but then they dropped to the floor. He stood fixing his sweats and tube socks before walking over and opening the door to see Y/N in business casual clothes with her hair in a high Afro puff. Her eyes looked directly at his nude chest but she was staring into abyss. “Princess, are you okay”, he asked with a brow raised and soon her head found place in his chest. “Why are people such idiots”, she asked him, making him chuckle. “They not like us, baby girl. Wanna cuddle and talk about it?” She nodded against his chest as he took her in his arms and closed the door behind them. As they lied on the couch, she kicked her heels off and lied her head on his shoulder, feeling his hands on her back. “So, I had twelve people to interviewed today right? Do you know that a few tryna hassle me?”

“Hassle who?”

“Me, Daka.”

“Not my baby, they ain’t.”

“Yeah, they did. Three of them was late, two thought that they was fucking RiHanna and Beyonce and another was sound like a fuckin’ hood rat. The shenanigans of it all.” N’Jadaka held her closer and asked “want me to kill ‘em? I won’t get caught.” Y/N laughed and said “no, baby. It’s fine. They didn’t get the job no ways. I hired a nail technician, a barber, two make-up artists and a receptionist.”

“Well, that’s good, baby girl. Getting shit done”, N’Jadaka said as he released her hair from the high puff to relieve some tension. Y/N felt her problems melt away as he massaged her scalp slowly. She took a deep breath and smiled as he placed a kiss to her temple and leaned his head against hers, smelling her hair. “Daka, why are you so good to me”, she asked with eyes closed. He looked at her and shrugged before saying “because you my baby. I just wanna make sure you good at all times.” She closed her eyes and saw his hand in hers as she smiled. She looked up to him and said “thank you, baby. I really appreciate you and all you do.” N’Jadaka shook her hair out and kissed her forehead all over slowly. When he was done, he looked to her face to see she was looking up at him. They sat there looking at each other’s eyes, quiet covered them like a warm blanket in the winter cold. N’Jadaka realized that Y/N could be the woman he made his wife, made another princess of Wakanda but he couldn’t mention the royalty just yet; it was just too early.

 “Hey, princess. Let’s go out the crew tonight. It’s Friday night and they beggin’ us to go out and what not”, he asked waiting for an answer. She nodded with a smile but they just sat there looking at their eyes until Daka took her hand and led her to the bathroom; running the water and stripping her clothes off before helping her in. She stood there holding her hand out as she said “aren’t you gonna come in with me? We can kill more time if we shower together”, with a smile. He chuckled as he stripped out his clothes slowly making her pout. He eventually too her hand and closed the door behind them. They stood there looking at one another as the bathed one another with loofahs with The Body Shop Wild Argan Oil body gel. They watched as the suds fell down to their feet and looked at one another eyes as the loofahs fell.

N’Jadaka kissed all over her sweet skin while she rubbed on his wet skin. He kissed down to her breast, cupping the right in his hand letting his tongue massaged the pebbled nipple. She bi on her lip with a smirk as she felt his other hand gripping her butt cheek and smacking it, making her yelp. His tongue alone can make her come down her thick legs when he sucked her breasts every time. He slowly turned her back to the wet, cold wall that made her spine shiver. He kissed down the valley of her breast to the plush stomach he loved so much and reached the newly waxed mound that covered the beautiful pink walls that he was addicted to like a rare drug.

He placed her left leg onto his shoulder as he said “hold onto my hair, baby girl.” She did so, he began to please her. His thick lips suctioned cupped her hard clit and tongue made each letter of the alphabet. She held onto his hair firmly as she leaned back moaning his name softly. “Daddy, I’m so close. Please, please don’t stop.” Daka began to only do faster a bit making her reach her climax faster than usual. She moaned loudly as she came down his throat. He kissed up her body and lifted both of her thighs to wrap around his waist. “It’s okay, princess. I got you, baby, and never forget that okay?” She nodded as he entered her making her lip place itself between her teeth.

~ 

An hour later, N’Jadaka stood in the living room waiting for his beautiful woman to finish. He wore a black turtle neck tucked into a pair of gray tapered slacks and designer dress shoes. His hair was tossed to the braided to the back thanks to his lady and his hands covered in rings. He turned to her as he heard her heels. He saw her curly fro out in its glory falling down to her shoulders. Her body was covered with a long sleeve satin wrap dress and her feet had on a pair of black strappy heels. She wore minimal make up with wing liner that can cut someone and Fenty gloss on her lips. He smiled as he waltzed over to the door and held it open for her. Before she walked out, he stopped her and looked at her eyes. He caressed the chain he gave her around her neck and took her hand into his imagining the ring he would give her one day; he kissed her hand as they head to the car, locking the door behind them.

They soon arrived to the club called Smoove and noticed their group at the tbooths against the wall. Y/N walked over to Leslie and Monte to hug them as N’Jadaka hugged Sheila and dapped up his brothers; they all sat. “Y/N, D, we are so glad y’all finally came out tonight. Starting to think y’all ain’t like us no mo”, Sheila sipping her drink. Y/N shook her and told her “of course not. I just been busy with my shop trying to get a new team and what not. And babe been busy at the center.” N’Jadaka wrapped his arm around his lady’s shoulder as he fixed his matching chain. He felt that someone was glaring him down but left it alone.

 Across the way, sat of course Rodney sipped from his glass of whiskey with a woman to his right. His eyes were at the group up ahead and not paying the woman any attention. The woman snapped her fingers as Megan The Stallion played. He looked to the light tone woman and said “what up?” The woman tossed her dark hair and said “Rod, I thought we was supposed to be vibing but you ain’t paying attention.” Rodney took a deep breath and said “my bad, baby. Just saw some muthafucka I don’t like very much. You got my attention now”, he smirked his gap tooth smile at her and she played with collar.

Back to the group, N’Jadaka sipped from his second drink and Y/N was talking to Leslie who sat on her right now. Monte looked over his friend’s man and sized him up. This way the first time meeting and after Y/N got her heart broken, he wanted to make sure it wouldn’t happen again. Monte stood and said “yo, N’Jadaka. Come wit me to the bar. We needa have a talk… alone.” This caught the groups attention and N’Jadaka slowly looked up with a nod. “Monte, don’t fu-“, Y/N said but was caught off when she felt Daka’s lips on her hand. “I’ll be good, baby. I’m a big boy.” He winked at her and walked with Monte with a drink in his hand. “Lemme get a whiskey, dry”, Monte said as he sat beside N’Jadaka. “So, ‘Daka’. You been with my sister for a few now. Now, I don’t know what kind of nigga you are but just now I carry a glock on me at all times.”

N’Jadaka chuckled and said “my lady was right. We are alike.” Monte was about to speak again until he heard “I know she has been hurt, brotha. But that ain’t my intention with her. She is a very sweet and thoughtful woman. I never had that before, bruh. She opened my eyes to a whole new life. She a real one and I wouldn’t want or need anyone else but her. Y/N is something special. To be honest with you, bruh. I can see me spending the rest of my life to with her.” Monte searched his face as he sipped his drink and said nothing but raised his glass to him to clink his. Y/N and Leslie watched across the way and smiled. “Sis, come with me to the bathroom”, Leslie asked and Sheila joined the pair. Y/N kissed N’Jadaka’s cheek and whispered “we will be in the bathroom”.

“Wash ya hands”, Daka said making her laugh but Y/N didn’t notice the stare she was getting from the woman with Rodney. Rodney watched her walk past him and the woman noticed N’Jadaka at the bar; she stood and fixed her red dress, heading to the bathroom. The woman saw Sheila who talked to another woman as she walked in and towards the mirror. Sheila and Leslie were laughing at Y/N who sat on the counter; Leslie on the toilet. “Well, Y/N Love, you may be Mrs. Udaka-Stevens sooner than you think.” The woman rolled her eyes as she applied her lipstick and fluffed out her hair. Leslie walked out and began to wash her hands as she spoke. “I know one thing, I better be a god momma too.” Y/N spoke now: “what makes y’all think we will be getting married and having a family, hm?”

“Love, JD is always talking about you. He never talked about his raggedy, ghetto ass ex before you came along. Only about how she was always on that bullshit”, Sheila said and as she said that she looked up to the mirror to see a woman she couldn’t stand. Y/N took notice and turned to the woman who looked at the group. “I see he had downgraded”; this put Lez in killer mode. “Who the fuck are you”, Leslie asked as she folded her arms. Sheila stood beside Leslie and said “don’t mind this bitch. She a just community pussy ass bitch that JD’s ass dropped.” The woman only snickered and said “awe, that was so funny I forgot to laugh.”

“Ashley, what the hell do you want”, Sheila asked and noticed how she looked at Y/N. Ashley walked towards Y/N but the girls blocked her way. “Touch her and I break ya fucking neck”, Leslie said with a snarl. Ashley looked her up and down and only laughed wiping away a fake tear. “Looks to me he done downgraded to a bitch who smother anyone she riding. That’s iff her fat, sloppy ass don’t break they dick first.” Sheila felt her blood raise but Y/N places her hand on their shoulders. She walked passed the girls and Y/N looked her up and down as Ashley looked up at her. “Bitch, look like she would eat me instead”, said Ashley as she walked out. Leslie launched at the door but Sheila pulled her back. “Don’t trip, we’ll get her outside.”

 At the bar, N’Jadaka drunk his fourth drink laughing with Monte about Bast knows what and saw the girls passed by. He tried to grab Y/N’s but when she turned to him, he saw the most vicious look. He asked Sheila as he still looked at Y/N “sis, who fucking with my girl?” Sheila shook her head and said “the name we do not speak of.” This made him look to her with a raised brow and talk between his teeth. “Where she at”, he asked and Sheila told him “don’t know.” N’Jadaka still looked at his girl as he pulled her in to his chest. “What did she fucking say to you”, he asked. Y/N told him and he felt his gripping tightening on her arm. He looked at Sheila and said “tell the group we out.” He held his lady close as they walked out with the group behind but didn’t know they attracted another pair of feet. As they hit outside, all they heard was “AYE, VIRGIN” from a male voice. N’Jadaka turned to see Rodney with Ashley holding his hand and his men behind him.

  N’Jadaka held Y/N’s hand tighter and nodded to Sheila to take her away to the side with her purse in hand. Leslie backed away towards the girls looking dead at Ashley As the men stood off. N’Jadaka held his arms out and said “you talking a lot a shit for a nigga who look like a broke ass Taye Diggs, nigga”, his brothers and Monte laughed. Rodney clapped his hands and said “you just Kevin Hart ass nigga huh? You look big as fuck but after what Ashley done told me, you ain’t packing bruh”. He held his pinky up like Dr. Evil and earned laughs from his group. Tre stood beside JD said “how she know what small or not? Rumor has it that her throat bigger than a fuckin’ black hole.” JD nodded as they all chuckled and Marcus added “pussy looser than ATL strippers g-string”; they all laughed. The girls all did as Rodney’s vein popped up in his forehead. “Man, you think just you got some fat bitch pussy, you think you hot shit”, the laughs stopped immediately. Daka stepped closer to him and said “the fuck you just said?”

“You heard him, nigga. Think you got with some sloppy bitch, you think you the king of shit. I’m amazed you still walking after handling all of that”, Ashley pointed at Y/N up and down. JD watched his girl sit down on the bench as the girls comforted her; this made his blood boil. “Ashley, ya crackhead ass betta be glad I don’t hit females” Yo ass just mad I didn’t wanna fuck and dumped ya old dog ass, You just mad that I’m with a real woman instead of yo child ass”; Y/N pinned her hair up and grabbed her purse opening it. N’Jadaka stepped closer to Rodney but felt Ashley push him back until he heard “GET THAT BITCH!” Y/N gave Ashely a good hit to her chin making spit fly out her mouth; this surprised N’Jadaka as he saw Ashley get up wobbly. Y/N stood above her in Nikes and her hair up, pulling Ashley up by her hair. “He can’t hit a bitch but I can”, Y/N said as she dodged Ashley’s punch.

  Rodney was about to pull Y/N off as she sat on her chest delivering punches but N’Jadaka pushed him back and delivering punches and dodges as well. Before ya know it, everyone in each group was fighting; even Leslie and Sheila was knocking men out. Monte tackled one of the men who hassled Daka at the liquor store like he was still on the college football team. Ashley was up now and trying to punches in but Y/N was too swift. What did she expect from a woman who was the oldest and only girl in her family? N’Jadaka was punching Rodney’s head into the ground making blood gush from his mouth and to his rings. The sound of police sirens and ambulance caught Y/N’s attention. She ran to get her purse and held her baby’s shoulder. “Baby, we gotta go.”

  They were finally home, freshly showered and in their usual clothes for sleeping in; him in sweats and her in one of his shirts. He sat the bed as she stood between his wide legs, catering to his scrapped up hands. “Hold still, baby boy. You did a lot of damage tonight”, she said with a small smirk. N’Jadaka shook his head looking at the ground and said “I’m sorry, baby girl. I didn’t want you to see me like that.” Y/N wrapped his right hand after the left and held them as she made him wrap his arms around her waist. She massaged his scalp and sighed. “Trust me, I didn’t want you to me like that neither but that’s what happens when niggas act out.” She kissed his head and said “thank you for standing up for me.” He looked up to her and said “don’t mention it. You’re my princess. It’s my job.” She looked down at his face and saw the slit in his lip and brow covered with band aids. “How are you still so fucking good looking”, she asked and he laughed into her chest. He looked up at her to see the cut in the middle of her forehead that would easily heal. “I can ask you the same beautiful. No one calls my queen a sloppy bitch unless that wanna get fucked up on sight.” Y/N looked into his face and said “you think I’m a queen? Even after all of that?”

“Of course, baby. Especially after that. You basically fought for me and you still looked beautiful doing that shit. You’re a queen for sure, always have. Always will be”, N’Jadaka kissed her perfectly bandaged knuckles and lied his head into her chest again. “And you will always be my king, baby boy.” She straddled his lap kissing his forehead and was startled by him pulling them down to the bed so she lied on the bed and he was on top. “I love you, my queen.”

“I love you, my king.”

  They began to kiss and get intimate as their chains sat in a dish together, sunken in cleaner to get rid of all the blood the drew together as a team, in the distance.

~

*𝕋𝔸𝔾𝔾𝔼𝔻 𝕃𝕆𝕍𝔼𝕊*

@muse-of-mbaku @im5ftbutmythroat66 @chaneajoyyy @melanin-samii @theunsweetenedtruth @doux-ciel @unicornluvin8765@vikkidc @wakandantings @thadelightfulone @mzamethystp @simbiann @tropicalsun10 @babydoll756​ @notoriouslynay @vminax @quinsly @pinkdemolition @quietstorm-73​ @chaoticcashfancroissant @bugngiz​ @chocolatedippedinhoney​ @yafavcocoa @lostgalaxies​ @mbakuwife @youreadthatright​ @babygotl01292003 @acceptyourselfloveyourself @madamslayyy​ @yoyolovesbucky​ @theogbadbitch @wakanda-inspired @bitchacho25 @toniilaney @wakandascrystal​ @girlsneedlovingfanfics @raysunshine78​ @melodyofmbaku @hearteyes-for-killmonger @silenceisplatinum @thickemadame​ @shookmcgookqueen​ @heykillmongerluhme​ @fonville-designs @cutewylie @allhailqueennel @10bsatatime @nickidub718 @lildashofmelanin @allhailqueennel @amirra88 @hakunalive4eva @thickemadame​ @ghostfacekill-monger @cherrystainedlipsbaby

[c0ry-c0nvoluted]

When Shawn made it to Marvin’s, he’d came prepared. Bleach, gloves, tarps, spray bottles, masks, nausea pills, a jug of water, and a monstrous blunt for after the cleanup on aisle fuck-this-sucks. He slipped alongside the house and on toward the back of the property to where he found his friend already hard at work…smoking a bong load from Marvin the Martian’s nose at the foot of a tangled assortment of corpses arranged in a type of giant wreathe, intertwined in gore and pine – a holiday horror comprised of Santa and some helpers, a reindeer or two, and what was very likely at least half of Mrs. Clause.

“Holy fuckin’ fuck…” His hand covered his mouth and nose, instinctively trying to dull his senses to the horror.

Marvin blew out his hit over the ten-foot wreathe laid flat on his single-mother’s neglected, open backyard covered in a fresh sheet of fallen snow. “Hope you brought an axe…”

“Fuck, man… This shit…” Shawn dropped his gear in a slump and collapsed onto his ass next to his partner in crime on the backdoor steps. “This is too much, man… We can’t keep doin’ this shit…”

Marvin, green alien beanie pulled tight over his ears, wiped his runny nose with a sleeve and shivered at the chill of the morning wind. “The fuck else we gon’ do? Too late to go back now… We already in too deep.”

“But… Fuck, man… Choppin’ up bodies? …Tha’s some white people, shit, bruh! The fuck we know about choppin’ up bodies?”

“Shit,” he assured him. “…But we gotta do it quick.” He almost saw the artistry in it, the creativity in its brutal intricacies…but wouldn’t let himself look at this disgusting display of sick and twisted barbarism as anything other than what it was: evil. “If my moms sees this shit…”

“Fuck…” Shawn put his head between his knees. If he hadn’t already vomited twelve times in the past two days he may have tossed his guts again, if for nothing else, out of respect for the dead, but he was all out of bile to offer his sympathies. All he had left was a sense of self-preservation. “Maaaan…” he drew the word out in an exhausted whine, “what the fuck is going on?!”

“Wish I knew, bruh…” Again, the arrangement sparked some level of intrigue in his mind, like there had to be some significance to what he was seeing. But the sight of it – arms twisted, broken around legs; branches through the base of skulls and out eyes and mouths; necks broken and torsos contorted; spines and antlers snapped to run the course of the curve – it was just too revolting to let fester long enough to divulge any reasoning from.

Shawn grabbed the Looney Tunes bong, ripped a heavy load from the bowl, exhaled, then got up to leave.

“Yo, where you goin’, man?”

“To get an axe, nigga.” He shook his head. “The fuck… You want some egg mcmuffins while I’m out, too?”

.......................................

A Christmas Carcassing is ON SALE NOW for the off-season, my dudes. I just marked it down from $16 to $10. Get it signed from my eBay account and indulge in a little goof-and-gore with this comically morbid murder mystery. A novel truly unlike any I’ve ever seen, this mashup of literary prose and urban dialect is an in-your-face sign of our times. I removed it from publishing on Amazon so to (maybe) make it more presentable to traditional publishers while I shop for an agent. But let’s be real here: This isn’t the type of book that traditional publishers have the balls to print. That being said, this fucker is rare and raw and untouched by the business end of the market, so if it DOES (miraculously) get published, this self-published version will be a very unique and rare collectible. Especially if I one day make a notable career out of this gig and a recognizable name for myself. So GET YOURS! Because this little slip of a novel may eventually be worth it’s weight in dro. -cm

[jacksonroseroth]

Waste Love Chapter 3

Warnings: Swearing, weed usage

Words: 4,764

Moodboard by my loverly @badwolf-in-the-impala​, none of the pictures are ours

~

Previous Chapter

~

As Jersey and Georgia made their way through the VIP section and out, they mapped out the best route to hit all the booths they wanted, Baze close behind them along with one of their bodyguards. They shopped around for a bit, trying a few things on while Baze and their security hung around the front. It took them nearly an hour to make it around to the last few booths before heading back, stopping a few places to grab some snacks while they shopped.

“Ooh, G, look at this one…” Jersey said, going through a few tops, taking out a couple to show Georgia as she approached.

“That’s cute. Do they have one in my size?” She giggled, looking through it with her. Suddenly, Jersey felt rough hands grab her waist. She knew it wasn’t Baze or the bodyguard, they’d never be that rough with her. Fighting off the stranger, pushing him back, Jersey turned, annoyance clear on her face.

“Yo, can I fucking help you?” Jersey shot. The man wore a cocky smirk and looked high as a kite.

“Hey, little lady. Wanna come back to my tent with me? I can show you a good time.” He slurred. Jersey scoffed in disgust and pried the man’s hands off her.

“Jesus Christ. Get off me. No.” She said, nudging Georgia to move along and get out of the tent.

“Oh, come on now. I don’t bite...Unless you ask me.” He snickered, looking her over. The man continued to paw at her until a huge mass stepped in front of her and she felt herself being pulled away. She turned and clung to Baze’s shirt as he led her and Georgia away from the booth while their security handled the man.

“Are you okay, Jersey?” Georgia asked, hugging her once Baze let them both go. Jersey sighed, a little shaken, and said, “Yeah. I’m fine. Fuck, what was that guy on?”

“Acid or shrooms, I wouldn’t doubt,” Baze said. He looked down at her as Georgia turned to look for their security, and said, “You okay?”

Jersey gave him a sweet smile and nodded. “Yeah. Baze, I’m fine.” She giggled. “I���m a little shook up, I’ve never been fucking manhandled like that before...But I’m fine.”

“Sure? I don’t want to get it from Rook later that you’re still freaked out. He’s gonna kill me.” Baze said. Jersey smirked and reached up to tug his beard gently and she said, “That’s why we’re not going to tell him.”

“I like that plan. I’m definitely down for that plan.” He laughed. Georgia returned to Jersey’s side as the bodyguard came back and they all headed straight back for their tent. Georgia brushed off the incident, knowing they were both safe, and skipped into the tent, Jersey just after her, closely followed by Baze.

“Hey. Where the fuck have y’all been?” AJ called with a laugh. Jersey stuck her tongue out at him and said, “Calm down. We’re fine.”

Jersey wrinkled her nose at him and giggled, joining Georgia at the drink table. They both made drinks and went to sit on the couches. As the music continued and the group settled and were ready to really let loose, the joints were busted out and more alcohol was brought. Jersey split one of her own joints between herself and Georgia before they accepted the joints that were being passed around. After a few puffs, Jersey realized she was starting to really feel the high taking over her and passed on anymore. She nursed her one drink for a while as everyone moved and shifted as they began to hear their favorite songs, so into the high and sweet intoxication that they needed to let it out.

Georgia ended up nestled in a corner of the couch, content to sip her drinks and watch the madness, Rook disappeared with one of the girls for a while before coming back alone to slump down on one of the couches to smoke and drink with Baze. On the couch across from Georgia, Jersey was leaning against Colson, finishing her last drink. Georgia caught sight of her friend spacing out and staring at the pillow next to her, so she called out, “Jersey, you alright?”

Jersey blinked and focused on her friend, giving a smile and a soft giggle. She looked down at her cup, frowning slightly when she saw it was still pretty full, and leaned forward to set it down as she looked to Georgia and said, “Yeah, I’m fine. I need to sober up a little more. One of the tech people is coming to show me around one of the stages we’ll be at. I need to be a little bit more alert to remember it all.” she let out a soft giggle as she sat back again, resting her head on Colson’s shoulder. The sudden movement made Colson twitch, but Jersey didn’t notice it. He shifted and put an arm around her, not having the heart to let his internal disagreement change how he treated her.

“You good, Savie?” He murmured softly, rubbing her arm, lightly and briefly. She smiled and glanced up at him, lazily, and said, “Yeah. I’m fine.”

She shifted, trying to get a little more comfortable, and tossed her legs over his, resting her head on his chest again. Colson smiled down at her and relaxed into the couch, lifting his hand to take another toke off his blunt. He caught Slim watching him and Slim gave him a look, glancing down at Jersey. Colson scrunched up his face and shook his head, quickly looking away. AJ came up next to him.

“You see this shit too?” He said. Slim glanced at him with a deep sigh and nodded, looking back over at them.

“Hell yeah, man. What the fuck though?” Slim said. “I’m so fucking confused, man. Do they like each other? Why else would they be cuddling and shit?”

“Right? Shit. I bet Rook would flip the fuck out if they actually get together.” AJ said, leaning against the table and he watched them. Slim looked at him and said, “Colson said the same thing. Why would he be worried about it if he didn’t like her?”

Slim gave AJ a look, prompting AJ to point a finger at him and look at him. “True. But...Neither of them wants to admit it...And now she’s acting shy and shit around Baze? I don’t see Colson touching her like Baze does. You see that shit before they left?”

“Bro, you saw that too?!” Slim exclaimed, softly. “Shit, did you see Colson’s face, though? I swear to God, I saw him twitch.”

AJ shook his head and said, “This shit is gonna blow the fuck up on all of us. They need to get their hormones in check. Fuck and get it over with or something, but bruh.” Slim nodded and sighed, shaking his head, slightly, as he sipped his drink. Neither man had any thoughts to approach any of them with their suspicions, but they definitely decided to keep an eye on things to make sure this didn’t end badly.

~

It was only about 15 minutes later that Jersey left with the tech guy, accompanied by the same bodyguard for earlier, and when she returned, her and Georgia decided to head out, back to the hotel, to chill out and really catch up. They talked for another 2 hours down by the pool, before ending up in the hot tub for another half hour. Georgia finally checked the time and gasped.

“Oh, my God. It’s nearly midnight! Shit, I need to get home. My poor man, all alone with the baby all day.” She said with a soft giggle. Jersey smiled and they both got out.

“Did you want me to call a cab for you?” Jersey asked as Georgia toweled herself off and slipped her pants and shirt back on. She shook her head and said, “No, I can get an Uber. I’ll be okay, love.”

“Well, let me walk you down,” Jersey said, grabbing her towel and wrapping it around her. Both women slipped their shoes on and headed down to the lobby as Georgia ordered an Uber. With an extra long and tight hug, the women said goodbye and Jersey waited until Georgia’s car turned the corner to go back inside. As she rode the elevator up, she sent a text to the group chat.

All right. Who’s not dead? Sound off. She sent the text with a smirk as she stepped off the elevator, heading to the room. Her phone dinged as she walked in.

Still hangin’ in! Baze was the first to respond, followed by Slim and AJ, both telling her that Rook was fine, just drunk, and Colson simply responded with a facepalm emoji. She giggled and sent a separate text to Slim, knowing more likely than not, he was the designated partyer; He could still drink and smoke, just not as much as the others to make sure they didn’t get into stupid and, most often, dangerous shenanigans.

Slim, I’m at the pool doing some laps. Idk when y’all will be back. In case Rook asks. Jersey sent the text off, not expecting a reply so much as it was just a cautionary text to him, and sent another to Baze. If I’m not there when you guys get back, I’m in the pool.

She felt her cheeks heat as she added a wink emoji and sent the text. She exchanged towels and grabbed her goggles before heading back to the pool. When she walked through the gates, her phone lit up with a text from Slim.

Not sure what time, but we’re definitely leaving within the hour. If you hear screaming...Well, you know your cousin. Jersey snickered and shook her head, sending off a few emojis in response. Setting down her phone and towel, Jersey started putting on her goggles. As she strapped them around her head, her phone lit up again. Placing the goggles on her forehead, she unlocked her phone to read Baze’s text.

Jersey bit her lip and smiled when she saw the line of emojis he used, then set her phone down, fitted the goggles over her eyes and stepped to the edge of the deep end, and dove in.

~

While she swam, Slim wrangled up his boys and they made their way back to the hotel. Bursting through the door, came Rook, followed by Colson, both of them laughing as they stumbled over to the couch.

“Watch it, bruh! Fuckin’, get off me, Rookie.” Colson slurred, slightly, pushing Rook off him as Rook tried to sit on him. Rook snickered and rolled off his best friend and adjusted himself, his eyes half-open. After a while of everyone settling down, Slim sitting on the couch across from Rook to keep an eye on him, AJ in his room to quickly change, and Colson in the kitchen area, raiding the liquor and fridge, Rook called out, “Ay! Where the fuck is my cousin?”

He opened his eyes a little more and sat up, calling, “Jersey! Ey! Savage! Where the fuck are you?!”

Slim shook his head and chuckled. “Bruh. Chill the fuck out, Rook. She’s at the pool.” Slim said, with a chuckle, looking at AJ as he walked out of the room.

“The fuck? Why? The party is in here now!” Rook laughed. Slim shrugged and said, “I dunno, man. I’m not her.”

“Well, fuck! Someone go get her! Shit, is she alone?! Oh, shit. Fuck, I wasn’t supposed to leave her alone!” Rook cried, covering his face with a groan. Slim laughed as AJ said, “Nigga, chill. One of us will go get her.”

While Slim and AJ had been focusing on wrangling Rook, Baze slipped into his room and quickly changed from his jeans to his swim trunks. As he walked back out, hearing AJ say someone needed to get Jersey, Baze piped up, “Rookie, relax. I’ll go get her.”

Slim looked over to him, glancing over his shoulder at AJ for a moment, he then smiled, looked at Rook and said, “See? We’ve got her, bro. Don’t worry.”

Colson watched the exchange from the safety of the kitchen area. When Baze spoke up, he watched for a while longer, then turned to bury himself in the fridge.

“Shit, Baze, thanks, man. Hey!...You better fuckin’ take care of her, Baze…” Rook slurred, leaning slowly to fall against the pillows with a drunken giggle. Baze chuckled and headed for the door. As he passed the fridge, Colson closed the door and said, “Hey. Where you going?”

“Rook’s flipping out about Jersey,” Baze said with a chuckle. Colson forced a smirk as Baze finished, “I’m gonna go scoop her up.”

Colson gave a small nod and said, “Where is she?”

“Pool,” Baze said, finishing his drink and setting it down. “I’ll be back, brother.”

Colson met Baze’s fist bump as he walked away and out the door. Grabbing a bottle of water, Colson headed back to his room, closed the door, and went to sit on the balcony to smoke. Rook was mostly unconscious at this point, so AJ didn’t bother to whisper when he said, “Is he okay? This shit is really bothering him.”

Slim shrugged and said “Who knows, man? He won’t admit to anything so it’s hard to fucking help the kid.” AJ shook his head and sighed, saying, “You talked to him about it before...I’ll handle Drunk Ass.”

Both men chuckled as Slim went to the balcony to try and talk to Colson and AJ hauled the drunk drummer over his shoulder to put him in bed. Slim glanced at them before he opened the balcony door, slipped through and closed it behind him.

“Hey, man. What’s going on?” Slim asked, putting a hand on Colson’s shoulder as he rounded him to sit in the chair on the other side of the table. Colson blew out a line of smoke then passed the blunt to Slim, who took it, still waiting for an answer.

“Nothin’, man. I’m just tired.” Colson lied, looking away from his friend. Slim huffed out his toke and said, “Stop bullshitting me, bruh. Whatever seems to be going on between Baze and Jersey is fucking bothering you. Don’t tell me it’s not, Colson. I’ve known you for years, bro.”

Colson shook his head and said, “I mean, what-what am I supposed to do here, Slim? I-I...I’m not gonna go after her if he’s into her! Baze is my boy!”

“So fucking talk to him then, man!” Slim said, sitting forward to set the blunt down. “If you don’t say anything to him, how are you supposed to know what’s going on?”

“She seems into him too! What? I’m supposed to tell her that I love her when she’s into one of  my best friends?!” Colson said, angrily. Slim blinked at him.

“Tell her what?” Slim asked, shocked. Colson looked at him, confused for a moment, and when the realization hit him, he looked away again, after grabbing the blunt and relighting it, saying, “Nothing...Fuckin’...Nothing, bro.”

Slim sighed and shook his head, rubbing his hands over his face. He stood and said, “Listen, man, if you don’t say anything to either of them, you’re gonna regret it.”

Colson shook his head and continued to smoke while Slim left him and went back inside. AJ had gotten Rook in bed and now sat on the edge of his side, texting. He looked up when Slim walked back in.

“What did he say?” AJ asked softly, not wanting to wake Rook or alert Colson that they were talking about him. Slim nodded to the door and AJ followed him out. “So?”

Slim sighed and shook his head. “This isn’t gonna end well.” He said, looking at AJ. AJ sighed and said, “Let’s go get them.”

~

Jersey swam for near 45 minutes straight while the boys headed back to the hotel. Just as she went for her last dive and lap, Baze stepped off the elevator. As Jersey came up for breath as she swam, she saw Baze walking alongside the pool. She couldn’t help but smirk as she kept swimming. When she stopped, she held the edge of the pool, eyes closed, to catch her breath. Once she did, she pulled off her goggles as she swam to the ladder and pulled herself out of the pool.

Baze looked over as she got out, giving a deep sigh. He smirked and looked her over; His eyes raking over her, watching the water drip down her body in the dim light of the pool, looking over her legs with a smirk. He turned away just as Jersey looked at him, and pulled his shirt off. She stopped to ring out her hair, taking her time as she, too, looked Baze over and smirked.

“Did you guys just get in?” Jersey asked as she walked over to him, towel in hand. Baze turned to her and smiled.

“A few minutes ago.” He said. Jersey chuckled and said, “How’s the crew?”

“A-ha, uh...AJ and Slim are more or less sober, Colson seemed coherent when I left, and...Rook is smashed.” Baze said, stepping into the water as he spoke. Jersey chuckled and said, “That’s my Rookie.”

She set her goggles next to her bag and turned to step into the water. Baze held out his hand to her, which she took with a shy smile, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

“Thanks.” She said, gliding down into the bubbles to take a seat across from him. They sat in a cloud of tension, which didn’t seem to bother them as much as they were trying to figure out how to broach the topic.

After a while of baking herself, Jersey pulled herself out of the water to sit on the edge. When she heard Baze chuckle, she looked up at him and he said, “Too hot?” Jersey giggled and nodded.

“I get real hot real easy sometimes.” She said with a shrug. Baze chuckled and tipped his head back, closing his eyes. Jersey bit her lip, looking him over, and smirked, before hopping back in, to stand in the center, in front of him, stretching out her legs. “So, how was the rest of the night? I know I left pretty early.”

Baze looked at her and chuckled, watching her for a moment. “It was good. Rook definitely got some sort of action from those chicks. Rook and one of the girls looked a little too happy.” He said, with a snicker. Jersey rolled her eyes and chuckled. “Nah, it was chill. Wish you would have stayed though…”

Baze looked her over with a smirk. Jersey smirked as well, kicking at his leg, lightly, and saying, “Why? To be your eye candy all night?”

She shot him a teasing smirk but Baze kicked back at her, retorting back with, “No, you fuckin’ missed Dom again!”

Baze didn’t realize Jersey had been balancing on one leg, so when he swiped his leg at her and thought he missed, she had begun to set her foot down, narrowly missing his leg. Her laugh turned into a squeal as she hopped, trying to regain her balance again, and leaned too far forward to stay standing, ending up in Baze’s lap.

Both of them laughed at the misstep, Baze steadying her with his hands on her hips and Jersey braced her hands on his shoulder. As the laughter faded, both of them became rather comfortable with their position. Jersey’s fingers found themselves with the tips of Baze’s hair wrapped around them, twirling his hair. She bit her lip and felt her cheeks heat as she felt his hands slide to her thighs, giving a gentle squeeze. Jersey shifted, lifting herself a little as she brought her lips to his, with a soft sigh.

~

Slim and AJ stayed silent as they rode the elevator to the pool. They each had their own thoughts running through their minds, each one of them ending with more questions than answers. When they stepped off the elevator, Slim immediately grabbed AJ’s arm, stopping in his tracks. When AJ turned to ask him what was wrong, he saw Slim staring straight ahead, eyes wide in shock. AJ followed his gaze and soon enough, his mouth fell open, also in shock.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me…”

~

Baze’s deep, low rumble of a chuckle vibrated through her as he kissed her back. He slid his arms around her; One around her waist, the other snaking up her back, to the nape of her neck. Jersey slid a hand into Baze’s hair, the other arm wrapping around his neck. Baze deepened the kiss, gently fisting her hair. His fingers played with the waistband of her bottoms, slipping a finger past the elastic Jersey pulled away, breaking the kiss and said, “Wait. Baze. Hang on.”

“What? What’s wrong?” Baze asked, quickly moving his hands and watching her. She gave him a small smile and trailed her fingers across his cheek, lightly.

“I was just going to say we should get back to the room. Before they come looking for us.” Jersey said with a small chuckle. Baze relaxed a little and smiled, his hands returning to her waist. He nodded and said, “Yeah. We probably should.”

When neither of them made any movement to get out, Baze smirked and his hands slowly drifted down to gently cup and squeeze her ass. Jersey chuckled and cupped his face, leaning down to kiss him again. They exchanged a few deeper, slower kisses before Jersey shifted, moving off his lap and floating back before standing, catching Baze’s hands in the water. Baze stood and chuckled, pulling her a little closer, planning on stealing another kiss, but once she got closer, she placed her hands on his chest and turned away with a giggle, stepping up and out of the water. Baze smirked and followed her, both of them wrapping their towels around themselves. With their backs turned to the door and the elevator, AJ and Slim hauled ass back, quickly pressing buttons to close the doors. They slid shut, blocking any image of the pair as Jersey and Baze turned to head back to the room.

Jersey and Baze walked close to each other as they went to the elevator. While they waited for the elevator, Baze leaned against the wall, catching her hand and pulling her closer. Their fingers played with each other and they stood in a comfortable silence until the elevator dinged and the doors opened.

They rode in silence, narrowly missing AJ and Slim slipping into the room before them. Slim went to the couch and sat down, while AJ remained standing and rubbed his hands over his face.

“Alright. That solves one question-They clearly like each other.” AJ said. Slim rubbed a hand over his chin and nodded.

“Yeah. Seems like it.” Slim said. Before they could continue their conversation, the door opened and they both turned to see Baze follow Jersey inside. Jersey pushed Baze back a little, pulling her hands from his, then smiled at them and said, “Hey. Y’all are still up?”

She gave them a teasing giggle before separating from Baze as she crossed the suite to her room. Baze tried to hide his smirk, giving his friends a two-finger salute before going to his room as well. Slim sat forward and groaned, softly, putting his head in his hands.

“Fuck. This shit will not end well.” Slim said. AJ nodded and sighed. “We can’t worry about this right now. We’ve got a fucking show tomorrow. Let’s get some sleep, bro.”

AJ nodded in agreement and they said goodnight before splitting up and going to their rooms.

~

Jersey quickly showered and scrunched her hair with some mousse, changing into a pair of shorts and a tank top before crawling in, as softly as she could, next to Colson. She tried to get settled without waking him, but he wasn’t as fast asleep as Jersey thought.

“Hey.” He said his voice rough and tired. He shifted, turning over and added, “Where were you?”

Jersey chuckled as he snuggled into her, giving a small grunt of disapproval when he tried to bury his face in her hair, only to find it wet. Sliding an arm around her waist, he snuggled against her neck instead. With his arm holding her, strong and warm, she quickly settled and said, “At the pool. I went back to do some laps after Georgia left.”

Colson gave a soft ‘Hm’ and a few quiet moments passed before Jersey added, “I thought you’d be down for the count. Didn’t really get a solid text from you.”

Colson’s goofy, tired chuckled made Jersey giggle as she shifted, sliding a hand over the one he rested against her stomach. “Well, that’s how me and Rook felt...At the time.”

Jersey giggled and shook her head. “You both are ridiculous.” She murmured softly. Colson’s lips curved into a smirk against her skin and snuggled a little closer, finally drifting off to sleep.

~

Baze and Slim stayed up a little longer, talking about the show tomorrow. Slim wanted to ask him about Jersey but ultimately set aside the urge to confront the bassist about what they saw. He didn’t see any good coming from confronting it in the middle of a tour, especially when Colson refused to admit that anything was wrong. At least to anyone but Slim. With Colson’s slip up about being in love with Jersey, Slim knew he had to keep an eye on Baze and Colson when Jersey was around. The last thing he wanted was for Colson to catch Baze and Jersey the way he and AJ had that night.

Slim had finally fallen asleep, but Baze shifted around and couldn’t fall asleep. Finally, he decided to get up for a while. Going out into the main room, heading for the kitchen, he stopped, briefly, and smirked.

“Hey,” Jersey said, having turned at the sound of the door opening. Baze came over to her and slid an arm around her waist. “What are you doing up?”

“Could ask you the same thing.” He teased. Jersey moved away from him to lean against the counter, sipping from her water bottle, wiggling her eyebrows with a smirk. Baze chuckled and snagged the bottle, remarking, “Coincidence.”

Jersey giggled and braced her hands on the counter as her stomach began to flutter. Baze set the bottle down on the counter behind her, then slid his hands over her hips as he bent down to kiss her, deep and slow. Jersey gripped his arms and kissed him back.

When Baze tried to deepen the kiss even more, slipping his fingers under her shirt, Jersey pulled away with a soft whimper and looked at her door, then to Baze. “Wait.” She whispered softly, listening. Baze glanced at the door and chuckled.

“Rook’s passed out, Jers,” Baze said. She gave him a look and giggled.

“Yeah, but I don’t need Colson or AJ seeing us and telling him before I do,” Jersey said. Baze chuckled and nodded.

“I know. Sorry.” He said, with a smile, starting to pull away. Jersey stopped him, catching his hands, and smiled at him.

“Maybe we should keep things on the DL. Just until we get home. I don’t want shit to pop off in the middle of the tour.” She said, stepping closer to him. A smirk crossed Baze’s face.

“So...Are we talking about sneaking around?” He asked, slyly. Jersey giggled and shook her head.

“If the timing is right...Maybe..” She teased, lifting up on her toes to kiss him again. Baze kissed her back, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth as she pulled away. “I’m gonna go to bed...I’ll see you in the morning.”

She gave him one last quick kiss before grabbing another bottle from the fridge and turning to leave. Baze chuckled and gave her ass a quick squeeze, making Jersey squeak and turned back to punch his shoulder. Baze chuckled and watched her leave before turning to go back to his room as well.

~

Next Chapter

~

Hope you guys liked it. If you want to be added to my taglist for this and/or future MGK/Colson stories, let me know! If you have any comments, feel free!

@badwolf-in-the-impala​​ @lovemythsworld​​ @kellsfanficalltogether​​ @mgkobsessed​ @sparxx27​

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 4 Part 1

And here we go !

This is the last chapter of Liam’s 1st year at the university. It’s a long one, so be ready ;)

A new pov will replace Barbara starting now, I hope you’ll like it.

Damian-Nicholas Smith Carrey Friday March 8, in France

When people said him that he could write a book about his life, he never imagined what kind of book it would be. But now, he had quite an accurate idea. He would call it : 'How to change from the most famous hunter to a stupid and naive man in love'. He had gone through step one for a long time now : have a fucking ridiculous teenage crush. And now, he started step two : be in a relationship with your so-called crush. Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey wasn't someone easily flustered. At least on paper. But when it come to the baboon, it was a true disaster. He must have left his pride back in the US.

"What do you think ? Isn't this one better ?" asked Liam.

The junior looked at him, his brows furrowed. They were doing shopping for souvenir. Well, the baboon searched little things for his siblings and Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey tagged along.

"I dunno. There are the same to me."

One was a key chain with the eiffel tower, the other with the Arc de Triomphe. Both were low quality products anyway. But the baboon finally picked one, and they went out of the store.

"Where are we going next ?" asked the blond lad. "There is plenty of time before our departure..."

"I bought everything I wanted." replied his boyfriend. "So I thought we could hum... take some time for us ?"

He blushed when he said the last word, which made Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey blush too, and then they both blushed even more. This is an endless circle of  pathetic shyness. I mean, I eat ass every other day, so why am I so prude right now ?

"Fine." he agreed anyway. "Lead the way."

They honestly had a good time. It was fucking weird to enjoy this at much as sex. Maybe even more. They went for walk the length of the Seine. Liam ate a box of pastries along the way and they talked about this and that. This is the end of my damned life. I'm having a silly conversation with someone. It must be the first time since... I don't even fucking remember. They were on their way back when Liam sighed.

"I'm happy to have you Dami." he whispered.

All this romantic bullshit was so embarrassing. Do I like it or not ? Just get a grip dude ! Not only he was having a damn date with his boyfriend, but he also looked like the flustered one here ! No one must ever know it happened. The baboon took his hand.

"I'm serious you know ?" he continued. "I mean, I'm still very worried about a lot of stuff... Nate is my main concern, but I'm also still preoccupied by my father. And I can't deny my story with Kilian is giving me an headache. But I'm really happy to know you're here."

"First of all baboon, it doesn't suit you to be so serious." replied Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey while trying to regain composure. "Secondly, there is nothing in what you said that can't wait tomorrow. You've the right to enjoy a little time for yourself with someone you love."

Liam blushed. He kissed his boyfriend to thank him. Holy crap. I'm getting good at the cheesy stuff too. Well, it wasn't surprising : Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey was good at everything.

This evening on the plane, the junior felt a weird dread through his whole body. Suddenly, he stressed about his relationship. But there is nothing new... I mean, we already were a couple before. So what is different ? He quickly put his finger on it. I said to the baboon I loved him. I confessed my weakness. The hunters shall never know. Nobody in the university, for that matter. There are already too many fucking people aware of our relationship. I don't trust anyone about this.

"Hey dude."

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey glared at the sophomore who hailed him. It was the dipshit called Matthew, Theo's heir.

"What the hell are you doing here ?" he asked. "Want to suck my prick ?"

The cocky lad (it was obvious this guy was an arrogant bastard) smiled.

"Maybe another time. I just wanted to say D.R sent me the contract regarding Barbara. She has to stay away from Colton and all his friends starting now. So you won't see her again much."

"Don't give me that crap, idiot. I don't care about the roach. You can fuck her, so go on. Isn't it what you wanted since the beginning ?"

Matthew's smile grew larger. I can definitely see the ressemblance with this shitty Theophile now.

"Just go away, moron." he concluded.

Liam Sunday March 10 back in the US

"This trip has done some damage..."

The young lad bite his lips. I knew I had indulged a lot but that's quite a change...

"Do you dislike it ?" asked Nate, while slumping on his bed.

"Not really..."

He had been ages since the last time Liam had looked properly at his reflection. He was pleased with his general body shape. His face was finely chiseled. He had strong biceps and triceps. His legs were robust but thick just like his chest. His pecs were nicely standing out. Even his back was kind of burly. But where three month ago he had a blossoming six pack, he had now a modest amount of squishy flab. His bulging waistline was easily noticeable since he was only in briefs. But he wasn't dissatisfied.

"I think I like myself." Liam whispered.

"And that's a good thing." mumbled his bestfriend, his eyes closed. "You have nothing to be ashamed about, trust me."

The chesnut lad outlined a smile. I'm glad to see Nate is talking more and more. He was also pretty sure Dami won't judge him for a little bulk.

"I mean..." resumed the other lad. "You're even well-endowed."

It made Liam blush like hell. (Not that he didn't take the compliment.) (Who could blame him ?).

The freshman expected things to improve since they came back from France. After all, Nate was getting better, Nick was actually making some progress at swimming and Dami literally confessed his feelings. It looked like the unicorns were finally powerful enough to repel the forces of evil. (After all, he had been feeding them with his dreams for months now !). So when a girl went to talk to him during his training this afternoon, he completely ignored her. (Not on purpose of course !). He was just so happy that he couldn't focus on anything. He went throught weight lifting and then legs exercises without noticing the many people who accosted him. He left campus without taking note of the lustful looks around him. I think I'm happy. The talk with Kilian had freed him. He was so glad to know the force of evils failed to take his ex-boyfriend. Anyhow, he finally went to work. As soon as he arrived, Judy came to him.

"Oh god Liam here you are ! I was so worried !" she shouted.

He blinked, not sure to have heard right. (Not that he often didn't heard people or anything...). What was she worried about ? Did he forget something important ? Something life-saving ? Maybe the aliens were gonna attack soon ?

"Liam focus ! I'm trying to have a conversation here !"

Judy clicked her fingers right under his eyes, breaking his thoughts.

"Are you alright ? Did someone do something to you ?"

"What ? No." he replied, surprised. "Why ?"

She frowned.

"Are you and Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey still a couple ?" she eventually asked.

Liam blushed. I think I'm supposed to keep it a secret but... He could trust Judy, right ?

"We are." he replied. "But what is your point ?"

"Be prudent when you're not with him okay ? I never thought I would say that one day, but I think you're safer with him around. Even if I still bet he'll hurt you in the end, like he did with everyone else."

Liam nodded. Their boss was calling them. I'm not sure I understand what she meant... However, he was certain Dami wouldn't said "I love you" so lightly. I'm special to him, I'm at least sure of that.

When he arrived at their flat tonight, Nick announced Nate wasn't there. Apparently, he had left for a talk with Archibald. It reminded Liam there were still things he wanted to improve in his life. My bestfriend and my poor family situation should be my priorities. He had no doubt the unicorns would agree on this. Besides, everything was linked to the forces of evil anyway. He grabbed a slice of pie in the fridge and joined his roommate. (Of course a pie made by Dami. Now that he had tasted his boyfriend's pastries, it was very hard to eat anything else to be honest.). (Once you visited heaven, you wouldn't come back, right ?).

"I can tell he's doing better." said Nick while staring at the screen of his console. "But I also can tell he went through something very disturbing. What do you think they're talking about so often ?"

"I don't know." admitted Liam. "But Dami assured me Archibald was a good guy so I trust him."

Of course, the chestnut lad wanted to help. And yes, I want to know what happened. (Curiosity is not a sin). (Glutonny is, but Liam didn't think much about it).

"Yeah well, until now we can say whatever he's doing is working." agreed Nick. "You should go to sleep... Wait, are you snacking ?"

Liam took a mouthful of his pie and chewed happily.

"This is just too good." he explained.

"You were sooooo against food at the beginning of the year." laughed his roommate. "I never imagined you were such a foodie."

Well... Seems like I changed my mind.

Nicolas Monday March 11 – Tuesday March 12

< Imagenius : yo what's up ? >

< TheSavior : long story short it sucked. I m better looking at my screen and playin'. Wht abut you pal ? >

< Imagenius : long story short my roommate is fuckin' loud while talkin' with her new friends. I hate people with actual life you know ? They remind me I'm a loser >

< TheSavior : won't say I know the feeling cuz I dont. >

< Imagenius : lol becuz right youre so popular >

< TheSavior : at least i hav friends outside a lame chat bruh >

< Imagenius : bruh >

< Abeautifulwomen : guys I do to. >

< Imagenius : as if a man who claims to be a girl could. Anyway Sav can you send us another pic of  this cute roommate of yours ? Pretty please ? >

< Abeautifulwomen : Same. But hey Ima are ya gay ? >

< Imagenius : Joker ? >

< TheSavior : need 2g. I'll turn the chat off. I don't hav any another pic >

* Abeautifulwoman is offline *

* Imagenius is offline *

* TheSavior is offline *

Nick sighed and looked at the clock. Almost midnight. Nice. I can still play. He slowly stood up and headed to the kitchen. First of all, he needed supplies. The raven-haired boy opened the fridge and grabbed a slice of pie and a beer. Two beers. He knew Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey had cooked it for Liam but whatever. His friend wouldn't mind. Nick came back to his room and turned his console on. A sligh whine came from his roommate's bedroom. Nate was having a nightmare again, he guessed. It was happening every other day. Not like if I could just ask what's wrong. If he doesn't talk to Liam, he won't talk to me. The lad drank his beer and started to play. He was good at it at least. He finished the level rather quickly, only to notice he had already ate the pie and emptied the beers. Again, he stood up and headed to the kitchen. Not that he was hungry, but he liked to play while chewing something. This time, he opted for ice cream. And beer of course. Then, he took his playing up again. One hour later, he was done with two more level. And he had devoured the ice cream. So once more, he stood up and headed to the kitchen. No wonder I'm fat. He put his snacks on the counter and patted his belly. When he had entered college he had been a twig. But the sudden freedom allowed him to indulge without his parents constant nagging. Maybe he had enjoyed it a bit too much. When he had come back at home for the christmas holidays they weren't very happy about his changes. Himself had been surprised to discover he had already hit the freshman 15. Now this limit was beyond him. I checked when we came back from France. I weight 89 kg (196 pounds) now. Almost 200. Nick shrugged. He didn't really care. He took his snack and continued to play.

The next morning, he got ready quickly. Unlike Liam, he wasn't dozy on the morning. Well, Liam was dozy all the time so bad comparison. They left together for the first lecture. When they arrived, the first thing Nick noticed was Barbara. The girl hated him for some absurd reason. She was so obnoxious. Then, he glimpsed Rebecca. Another one he couldn't understand at all.

"And to think I've been interested in her..." he mumbled.

Liam didn't hear him. That was the good thing with this dude. I could've been screaming, he wouldn't notice. They joined Colton who greeted them warmly. Nick turned on his gameboy but he wasn't paying attention to the screen. He knew the game by heart since middleschool anyway. Instead, he looked at his friends. He often did that without them noticing. Everyone assumed he was just another nerd but he was an observant nerd. Their trip in France had took a toll on Liam waistline aswell. If I'm looking closely enough, I'm sure even Colton's ever slim frame must've softened a bit. Nick was pretty sure this one would lost it in one day or two. As for his dreamy roommate... I think he will keep it on purpose. He seems to like it. Well, both of them were handsome anyway. The raven-haired boy didn't have this luck. He heard someone laugh behind him. The person whispered something about pokemon being a lame game. Another talked about his little bathing in the Seine. Not a day I want to remember. Seriously, classes were so boring...

Noon eventually came. Nick hit the buffet of the cafeteria like a ravenous beast. He needed his daily amount of junkfood to functiun properly.

"What do you think about the math assignment ?" asked Colton. "Shall we work on it tonight ?"

"I finished it already." he revealed. "But I'm sure Liam would be glad to do it with you."

Of course, his roommate wasn't listening. He was looking away while munching on home-made cookies. And new thing, he was crooning. I know some very weird people but they can't hold a candle to him. Nick discreetly kicked him under the table.

"Uh... What ?"

"Welcome back to earth." he said. "Colton wanted to ask you something."

Nick didn't listen to their conservation. He had glimpsed Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey in the crowd. Another strange dude. Since I came here, I met too many real character. He looks pissed. I mean, more than usual. He was talking to a girl. Well, probably insulting the girl to be fair.

"... Swimming tonight ?"

The raven-haired lad turned his attention towards Colton.

"No thanks." he replied when he had guessed the question. "I'm not very... at ease when there are so many people watching me."

His friend smiled.

"Of course."

* TheSavior is online *

* Abeautifulwomen is online *

* Imagenius is online *

< Imagenius : yo ! Day was booooring. How was yours ? >

< TheSavior : Same as usual. Couldn't wait to be back in my flat >

< Abeautifulwomen : Mine was fine. I don't actually leav my flat. Lucky me ! >

< Imagenius : Btw guys there is something up in my college. I heard ppl sayin a big hunt started. Don't know what that meant but they were very excited. Apparently, the prey is one of a kind ! >

< Abeautifulwomen : Funny. Do you think they hunt human ? >

< TheSavior : I'm sure they're talkin abut a treasure hunt or smthg. We shuld play. >

< Imagenius : Nah Sav it was about a real person. They want him but idk why. Maybe he did something wrong. Beauty yu didnt hear anythg from your boss friend ? >

< Abeautifulwomen : He doesnt control every college in the country duh. Last time he called he was very very very very very angry :3 I got a dick pick thanks to that ! >

< Imagenius : You really are gay. >

< Abeautifulwomen : I told yu im a girl >

< TheSavior : Come play and stop the chichat. Wdc abut a fke hunt nor ur fke dick pick >

< Imagenius : Aye sir >

< Abeautifulwomen : Aye sir >

To be continued

Tadaa. Something is going on in the community, but what could it be ?! I can only tell you Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey will have a lot of work to do. Liam is in a happy bubble, but you know me, it won’t last long.

And welcome Nick. He has been a steady presence in the background since the beginning, so he earned his own pov. He’s on a group chat with two other people... Maybe you’ll be able to guess who they are ;) 

[kyn19]

1 THROUGH 98! I WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWERS AND I CAN'T STAND GETTING THEM PIDDLING BIT BY PIDDLY BIT!!!!!

Lmaooooo what a fuckin Mood. Thank you!!!!! Also, you’re getting Drunk Kylie answers which are arguably the Best answers. For the courtesy of everyone’s dash, answers are below the cut!! <3 <3 <3

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Coffee mugs! I have a sizable collection lmao #WriterLife

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

omg such a tough one, both are aces. seriously I can think of so many combatting pros & cons!! the only fair way i can currently conceive is which i would want weed in. Which is lollipops bc (#UnpopularOpinion) pot makes chocolate taste bad.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

both are great, but def bubblegum.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

“Pleasure to have in class” in true Gifted Child fashion

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i’ll rate them in order: 1) can (absolutely preferred), 2) bottle if alone but plastic (lez be honest, Red Solo Cup) if with company, 3) glass (do not like)

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

#1 goth all the way. Pastel and Formal guest appearances

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphone, bc earbuds usually hurt my ears.

8. movies or tv shows?

first of all, how dare you. second of all, tv shows ONLY BECAUSE if all my fave movies were given tv shows so that they could last longer i would choose so

9. favorite smell in the summer?

idk i guess pool chlorine? dislike summer

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

bruh fuckin none. elementary school: too long ago to recall. middle school: escaped having to take gym at all. high school: had a medical excuse to take online PE. least athletic girl u know

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

i don’t have bfast bc eating close to when i awaken makes my tummy upset

12. name of your favorite playlist?

hmm 4-way tie between “#motivate #bitch” (gets me pumped to work) and “Friends Of The Illness” (my playlist of songs about and/or artist who are mentally ill) and “Ominous/haunting” (speaks to my creepy side) and “Bad Bitches” (self-explanatory amirite)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Key ring. Straight up I use an extra shoelace as my key ring string, despite owning multiple lanyards.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

god another fkn hard one. Listen y’all, you dont understand how much of a sugar fiend i am. candy is my JAM. Starbursts, Sour Straws, Skittles, Jolly Ranchers...who can choose?!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

“Ceremony” by Leslie Marmon Silko. Highly recommend!!!!!!!!!!!

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

laying down lol sitting is for suckers

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

combat boots like the gay i am

18. ideal weather?

low 70′s degrees (F*), intermittent showers during the day but clear starry skies overnight

19. sleeping position?

mostly fetal, mostly on my side but chest is towards the bed, one arm under the pillow under my head

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Laptop. I used to love writing in notebooks, but ya girl got weak fingy joints nowadays

21. obsession from childhood?

pfft as if they aren’t the same obsessions i have now

22. role model?

so many!!!!! Jameela Jamil is the first that comes to mind

23. strange habits?

lmao i am ass-deep in idiosyncrasies, if you ain’t read the blog title already

24. favorite crystal?

i don’t know anything about crystals. does blue topaz count? cuz that’s my birthstone and i like that one a lot. i even had the foresight to pick that as my engagement ring’s stone in my utterly preposterous & failed relationship

25. first song you remember hearing?

oh wow, no idea. music has always been huge for me. probably either a Britney Spears or Mary J. Blige song???

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

stay inside lmao

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

WEAR SWEATERS & DRINK HOT CHOCOLATE, BITCH!!!!!!!!!

28. five songs to describe you?

oof ok, hard, but here goes:

“Here” by Alessia Cara

“Wannabe” by the Spice Girls

“I’m Just a Kid and Life Is A Nightmare” by Simple Plan

“No Daddy” by Teairra Mari

“Brick By Boring Brick” by Paramore

29. best way to bond with you?

i am straight up not easy to make friends with (bc my own bullshit, not trying to be pretentious), so bonding is hard. the best way is probably a combo of queer + memes + loves food + correct morals + being the dominant talker

30. places that you find sacred?

Libraries, locally owned coffee shops, Walmarts at 3am, playgrounds in the middle of the night, side of a rural road at 12am, my bed

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Blazer + shirt with a titty window + high waisted plaid pants + platform booties

32. top five favorite vines?

OMG I LOVE VINES OK OK OK OMG I LOVE SO MANY SO HERE ARE JUST THE ONES I QUOTE THE MOST OK:

Josh Kennedy: “What’s up my name’s Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how to read”

Sarah Schauer: [dont remember the beginning] “didn’t you..?” “sleep in this? yes. mama needs A DRINK”

Evan Breer: “What’s up my & my boys are going to see Uncle Kracker - give me my hat back Jordan, do you see Uncle Kracker or no - *gasp!*”

Drew Gooden: “Road work ahead? Um yeah, I sure hope it does...”

Nathan Enick: “Yo how much money do you have?” “69 cents” “Oh you know what that means!” “...i don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets :( ...”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

bruh like how even am i supposed to answer this?? like texts or Siri requests or????? bc if it’s Siri requests then it’s 100% for arithmetic

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Stanley Steamer. you kno the one

35. average time you fall asleep?

3:30am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

bitch i’m a 90′s child of the internet, i was around the web before YouTube launched, i was there when the first modern memes were fucking conceived. i will say the biggest repository of meme culture that i was a part of was YouTube and icanhazcheezburger.com & its side-sites.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel - Tie-Dye Girl from the Lindsey Lohan “Parent Trap” made quite the impression on me

38. lemonade or tea?

Lemonade! hate the leaf water

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Lemon cake! Not a meringue pie girl saly

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

I’ve been to a lot of schools yo lol. My undergrad college was def the “weirdest” ofc, bc it was an art school lol. An instance that stands out was a string of “Solid Gold Clit” graffiti after a Sophia Wallace visit to campus right before i started there.

41. last person you texted?

My bff triad pals @backwardswriter and @bristarshine

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

damn tough call. Probably jacket pockets bc i’m more likely to have those as a lady who wears lady-targeted pants

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

Plum!

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy, though sci-fi is a solid 2nd. Not much of a superhero gal

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

.....underwear only. Sometimes an oversized t-shirt too.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella!!!

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I would want to be like a pomegranate, but i’m probably a nectarine

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“If you hope for the best but expect the worst, you’ll never be disappointed.”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

bitch i’m a giggle monster, i taught myself to be easily amused as a survival mechanism.

51. current stresses?

My own lack of discipline.

52. favorite font?

oooooof i have so many ok. too name a few: Centaur, Garamont, Book Antigua, Times New Roman, Montserrat.....mostly Serif fonts bc I’m an old books bitch

53. what is the current state of your hands?

I don’t love my hands (how homophobic of me, I know). Currently they’re kinda dry and full of sandwich

54. what did you learn from your first job?

what kind of boss I like. also that my customer service voice is frighteningly pleasant

55. favorite fairy tale?

Original tale: Thumbelina. Adaptations: Snow White.

56. favorite tradition?

uhhh Thanksgiving feast I guess? i am not a traditions gal

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

I am very very fortunate to not have a lot or a severity of these. The ones that I’ve had the worst of are: gender discrimination/harassment as a woman, hardcore emotional abuse in a relationship, and heavy heavy mental illness

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Tangible talents: writing, lying. Intangible: A+ imagination, useless trivia.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I support you!”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

like if Tokyo Mew Mew and Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni had a baby

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

Again, how dare you. Like literally, asking me to pick a favorite line from something is like asking what my favorite breed of dog is. Legit impossible

62. seven characters you relate to?

Ananka Fishbein (Kiki Strike series), Mermista (She Ra & the Princesses of Power), Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter), Gwen (Total Drama), Rori Gilmore (Gilmore Girls), Villanelle (Killing Eve), Andrea (St. Trinian’s)

so like all very- to semi-weird white girls lmao

63. five songs that would play in your club?

[by the term “club” i assume that i’m limited to pop and electronic music. even with the limitation, though, a super hard question]

“Talking Body” by Tove Lo

“Hot in Herre” by Nelly

“Because the Night” by Cascada

“Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels” by Todrick Hall

“Break Free” by Ariana Grande ft. Zedd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

pretty much any doll franchise’s site (Barbie, Bratz, My Scene, Polly Pocket, Diva Girlz, everGirl, etc you name it)

65. any permanent scars?

Yep. One by a dog scratch (it was honestly a weak/shallow/innocent scratch, i still have no idea why it scarred at all), and a few from a car crash last year

66. favorite flower(s)?

i don’t really like flowers? i usually just say Forget-Me-Not’s for ease

67. good luck charms?

bitch idk but i’m knocking on wood just from thinking bout it

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

you ever taste that chocolate Laffy Taffy? vile bruh

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

I am annoying enough to know how i learnt all my facts, but the funnest fact I like to annoy people with is that ducks have corkscrew penises evolved from their main form of mating being rape

70. left or right handed?

Right (like any ol’ simp)

71. least favorite pattern?

polka dots

72. worst subject?

MATH and also PHYS ED

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

One time whilst high, I put nacho cheese Doritos on a tuna sandwich. Winning combo, I’m telling you

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

My pain tolerance is straight up unpredictable, so like anywhere from a 3 to a 9

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

5 years old

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Mashed potatoes

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

I am not a plant person. Moss.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

fucking neither but i at least like coffee so i guess the former....

(i know, it’s tragic and barbaric that i dislike sushi, i wish i had another answer for you)

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

Neither lmao - I got them within a month of each other (six years ago) so they’re essentially the same photo.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

I mean those are the same bug so I assume this is asking about which terminology I typically use/prefer. Which i would say both bc I’m a cultured ho

82. pc or console?

I don’t game so I guess PC lmao

83. writing or drawing?

Writing but I like both

84. podcasts or talk radio?

damn neither lmao I can’t focus on non-music audio only. I guess talk radio, just bc I can do like ten minute radio segments at least lol

84. barbie or polly pocket?

both were lit but I had more Barbies

85. fairy tales or mythology?

not to sound like a broken record but FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE YOU? second of all, I essentially consider them in the same category at this point in modernity, so my answer is Yes.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cupcakes, but both are exquisite

87. your greatest fear?

spiders, heights, clowns, seeing bad things happening to animals, that my consciousness will exist even after death, y’know normal stuff

88. your greatest wish?

to transfer myself into one of my fave fictional worlds

89. who would you put before everyone else?

dogs, next question

90. luckiest mistake?

i make a lot of those honestly, so who knows

91. boxes or bags?

LISTEN I LOVE CONTAINERS OF ALL SORTS, YOU CAN’T MAKE ME CHOOSE, IM PANSEXUAL FOR A REASON

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

FLASHLIGHTS, BITCH

93. nicknames?

Ky, KyKy, Moonshine, SugarTits, Goog Bones

94. favorite season?

Autumn (yes i call it that instead of Fall bc i’m a pretentious ass bitch lol)

95. favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr, c’mon

96. desktop background?

Currently a digital art painting of a flowing stag in a swamp that I downloaded from DeviantArt. I change it every few months though (to other downloaded digital art from DA that I collect periodically lmao)

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Seven - mine, my mom’s 2 numbers, my grandma’s, my pop’s cell and office (also my old office) numbers, and my childhood house phone number lol

98. favorite historical era?

Golden Age of Piracy, specifically bc the piracy lol

Thank you so much for the asks, this was so much fun!!!

[floofsta-x]

92 is the magic number

GOOD GOD GUYS I GET IT lmao I keep getting tagged in this!!! Ahaha but no I love you all @supersaiyum💕 @jerkshownu💕 @junhyoongs💕

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

This is a long one so I’ll tag up here: @catwalkninja, @hannatokki, @chaesprincess, @joonielesters, @sweetjooheonie, @sweetheartwonho, @iminterstellar, @fyhjjxxn, @williamteaspears (ok lmao I’m stopping, 20 is a lot!) If you have already done it or don’t want to, no pressure! Also if you want to do it, I’d love to hear your answers--tag me ❤︎

THE LAST:

1. Drink: uhhh let’s see--ice water. Tonight at supper.

2. Phone call: probably a random spam number lmao. The last time I picked up the phone it was a local spam call

3. Text message: To my mother: “Ok ty” (I was asking her whether the dishes were dirty or clean)

4. Song you listened to: One Click Headshot -- Feed Me

5. Time you cried: Two nights ago, watching Moana (for the second time I must add)

6. Dated someone twice: Nah ahaha

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: ah…yeah

8. Been cheated on: I don’t think so at least…

9. Lost someone special: of course. The last one was my uncle, last November. Then I lost my grandma two Aprils ago.

10. Been depressed: what ya talkin bout, I am depressed

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nah, I like my mental facilities too much ahaha

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Dark green. Light green. Blue-green.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yeh no close ones though

16. Fallen out of love: Yeh. I had to because he got a girlfriend and I loved him enough to let him go

17. Laughed until you cried: Yeh

18. Found out someone was talking about you: No, but I’m sure someone has been

19. Met someone who changed you: hm I guess my counselor.

20. Found out who your friends are: I try to isolate myself from pretty much everyone anyway.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Nope

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them except for maybe two rp friends. I don’t accept requests from strangers

23. Do you have any pets: Nope

24. Do you want to change your name: Eh, I wouldn’t. Bryony’s ok for me

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Dressed up real nice, wore high heels, had a private party at my favorite little coffee shop

26. What time did you wake up: 9:35am ish

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Writing fanfiction – Changkyun x reader, guardian angel!AU.

28. Name something you can’t wait for: Literally can’t think of anything. Except maybe finding someone that I like enough and that likes me enough to date.

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: She's in the room with me right now.

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I could have a healthier lifestyle. It’s going to be hard to start now

31. What are you listening right now: Nothing, just crickets chirping and mother talking and moving around and my little sister turning pages in a book every once in a while

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I miss my dude named Tom, he is super-nice

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: That I hate my own writing a lot

34. Most visited Website: tumblr. Youtube

35. Mole/s: I have a ton (I haven't taken good care of my skin) but the most notable is a mole on my palm, between my middle and ring finger on my left hand. so it’s right there when I do the Vulcan gesture. I also have one on my chin.

36. Mark/s: You should see my shoulders, I have a ton of marks there

37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a vet or the crocodile hunter

38. Hair color: Dark Honey Brown

39. Long or short hair: Short

40. Do you have a crush on someone: God that Lee Jooheon guy is so hot

41. What do you like about yourself:  That I'm loving towards my family and friends :)

42. Piercings:  None. I'm terrible with pain rip

43. Bloodtype: I dunno for sure???

44. Nickname: Bee, Bry, Brownie... Brainy...

45. Relationship status: gon go cry in a corner

46. Zodiac: Virgo (Sept. 20th)

47. Pronouns: She/her/nerd

48. Favorite TV Show: I actually don’t have one lmao. We don’t have tv at my house. We have Netflix tho--I don’t watch Netflix all that often except with the fam.

49. Tattoos: No, but I want a couple--a clarinet/saxophone design on my shoulder, and 뱅뱅뱅 somewhere too

50. Right or left hand: left

51. Surgery: Only for my wisdom teeth.

52. Piercing: sigh I guess 91 is the magic number

53. Sport: Casual frisbee lmao.

55. Vacation: Mountain hiking ❤︎ Colorado baby here

56. Pair of trainers: I have this pair of DCs that needs replacing, I’ve had them for two years and they’re falling apart finally

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Nothing at the moment. I crave some chocolate though

58. Drinking: Nothing either. i want some ice water though

59. I’m about to: probably get up and go get ready for bed and proceed to stay up to write fanfiction

61. Waiting for: my mom to get off the phone with my father

62. Want: to be able to support my boys more fully sigh

63. Get married: one day, I hope. I want a husband and kids. Don’t make me think about it too much though, I get emotional

64. Career: I really don’t know anymore, I thought I used to know but....ugh what is life. I think a college music professor would be a hella fun job though

WHICH IS BETTER?:

65. Hugs or kisses: kisses sigh

66. Lips or eyes: lips bruh sigh I’m thirsty af right now

67. Shorter or taller: taller but only because I have bad memories with shorter. I’d still go shorter tho, it depends on the person

68. Older or younger: older. again bad memories with younger. sigh

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Nice arms….and shoulders….

71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive. I mean I’m sensitive but I like sensitive people ;-;

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship for sure bruh ah

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant. the reason I don’t have a fuckin boyfriend is because everyone’s a troublemaker and I hate it

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: hm. no.

75. Drank hard liquor: only in mixed drinks, and in sips.

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I lose my glasses by the bed on the daily but almost always find them. I’m so blind ugh

77. Turned someone down: yes. when I was younger. I haven’t had anyone ask in a long time though

78. Sex in the first date: I’m saving myself for marriage actually. But actually...I really haven’t had a real first date yet.

79. Broken someones heart: …Yes. Do not recommend 10000%.

80. Had your heart broken: Every time Shownu is simultaneously cute and sexy

81. Been arrested: Nah I’m straightlace yo

82. Cried when someone died: god. so many times. in movies, in real life, in comic books…

83. Fallen for a friend: actually yeah. I miss that kid. haven’t seen him in like forever. 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: ahahhhhahaahahhhaah

85. Miracles: yes! though there are a lot of false miracles.

86. Love at first sight: No, not real love anyway. Lust yeah.

87. Santa Claus: kekeke my parents still insist on wrapping presents for Christmas morning as Santa though when we open them they talk about how they got them and stuff

88. Kiss in the first date: Depends on how well I know the person. If we’ve been friends/acquaintances for a while and I trust them, hey why not?

89. Angels: yes.

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: Me. or my sister Rhin. I got no friends bruh

91. Eyecolor: Brown

92. Favorite movie: Pacific Rim all the way bruh (still gotta finish that AU fic…what am I doing with my life)

[krakenator]

CHAPTER 9 aka “Let’s go lesbians!”

SPOILERS are sprinkled around extremely liberally for The Property of Hate

Masterpost here

Melody and Julienne join The Party! A singer, a dancer, and an actor make a triple threat baby!

Though the true triple threats out there are the people who can do all those things. I would put myself as an example but said Real Threats are people who can do it all well

…y’know we haven’t seen RGB dance but… it would not surprise me. My god. That’s why he’s so strong. He dances

Maybe the real triple threat was the object-heads we met along the way

Still on that opening page though, have I talked enough yet about Melody’s dialogue? Because a glissando is an excellent way to convey and agreeable hum.

Wow parents really were right that tv would rot my brain look at this poor doggo

Yo yo yo that’s the snail from the Pool of Tears in chapter 2!

So all I need to do to get Inspired is to lick a technicolor dream-snail, got it

Oh damn it, it’s a bright idea

Ey the picture frame clouds are back. Wow they are moving fast- heckuva wind

Oh yeah and TOby’s there. Enjoy the view lil buddy

Looks like the armchair Hero slept in at the House of Paint’s become more realized as a What. Wonder why it’s heading down to/past the Pool of Tears

How often do you think someone in this world goes to, like, hang their coat only to realize the coat-racks missing and just go “oh damnit it went sentient and wandered off. Well. Inconvenient. But godspeed I guess”

So I know the ball and chain Hero’s fashioned for her TV guide (FUCKIN JUST REALIZED THAT ONE) is rolled like like a yarn ball, but my boat-brain looked and it and said “monkeyfist. Big ol’ monkeyfirst for swinging around. Throw RGB REAL far”

How is modmad so good at speechbubbles. RGB’s shaken text/box is hilarious. Melody’s notes are connected by a beam, she’s beaming

rekted for the 11th time in 4 days

This is a good opportunity to take a moment for me to appreciate modmad’s HANDS. RGB’s hands are always exquisitely drawn. Like, the third panel especially, goddamn. Second appreciation is how damn expressive RGB is. I gushed about my love for the wives designs last chapter, I guess it’s finally time for RGB’s turn

For having NO ACTUAL FACE the man is supremely easy to read as a character. He doesn’t have eyes, yet you know when he’s smiling for real anyway! Looking back at the first few pages, that’s SUCH a fakey-fakers smile to the genuine ones seen throughout the rest of the comic. Combined with his body language- just fantastic

And then! The drooling! The initial reason I wanted to do a more thorough reread was when I realized the colors correspond to emotions and whatever RGB is feeling most strongly in any given moment, those are the colors he drips. Which is! Fantastic! It gives yet another avenue by which to see RGB’s character and an excellent supplement when the man is, again, emoting with NOT-A-FACE

His antenna crack me up. They start the comic so straight. So ironed out and spiffy and like 3 days into his newest Hero they are chronically crinkled up like tissue paper. It gives him this impression of being completely frazzled at all times, which. accurate

Back to your daily scheduled TPoH though; eeey, Assok’s speech-texture has some black triangles in here for copying Julienne’s words!

Yikes. RGB’s tried to take Heroes back before huh. Considering he hasn’t given up on his “save this doomed world” plan after all this time, how absolutely/repeatedly disastrous was “get my friend back home” for him to concede it as impossible??

Aaaand we’re off to the races Market!

RGB: LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO!!

BIG DAMN SMOOCH! YES!! LOVELY! Also Julienne’s resting the blunt side of her knife on Melody’s head and I’m die

Melody’s dialogue is the symbol for a “natural” note. She’s replying “naturally, duh” to RGB’s question

If Julienne wasn’t already married to Melody I’d seduce that big instrument lady myself

Accept the compliment Assok! You did good!!

Random thought and back to RGB being stealth STRONK- Hero found the [—–] to be heavier than it looks and yet RGB is walking around with it all tied to one foot completely unimpeded

Im fucking snorting. The way RGB says “…that’s the sea.” Like he can’t believe Hero is being this dumb. If course it’s the sea! Obviously!

NO RGB, NOT OBVIOUSLY

D’you think if RGB saw how water and seas behave in our world he’s be equally bewildered as I was the first time I read this page

So I took the time to look up Julienne’s name and now im BIG MAD. Julienne is a way of cutting things into long thin strips! It’s a fucking culinary pun!!

Y-yo… that’s just a big damn eye.

AND/OR an impact crater. Except the ground they’re standing on wouldn’t be flat if that were the case

But it is also DEFINITELY a fairy ring, as the next page describes this is EXACTLY how fairy rings work

K so this entire page is just that one verse from “Cover is Not the Book”

Bruh. This looks like myelin sheaths on nerve axons. Myelin is an insulator just like [—–] is described to be! Except the metaphor ends there because myelin is supposed to be there and protects the axon/accelerates signal speed. Assok is basically chewing nodes of ranvier into existence instead of the breaks between myelin forming naturally. And that’s my degree put to use for the week

Also HEY. I had the thought earlier that the sick tree might be a Yggdrasil thing but didn’t put said thought down cause there wasn’t a whole lot behind it save for “big tree, big big tree”. But NOW it turns out there was a small SERPENTINE creature CHEWING AT ITS ROOTS

ASSOK’S THE NIDHOGGR

Everyone: RGB smart?? as if. RGB: EXCUSE-

absolutely huge mood there buddy

HEY MODMAD. TURN ON YOUR LOCATION WE GOTTA TALK ABOUT PAGE 162 FORESHADOWING HOW RGB BELIEVES THE SUCCESSFUL HERO’S JOURNEY HAS TO END

Hero is the flower that will die even though she’s saved the World >:(

“all flowers must die to complete their purpose” is also a funny phrase to be throwing around when Negative’s presence sprouts blue roses which shatter apart when he leaves

“Flowers need roots to live”, further implicating Negative as the (ha ha) root cause of the blue roses and vines. and we again see here, the flowers die but the branches they bloomed from remain

ALSO consider the flowers seen around characters heads when they dream/are asleep- those flowers also must go away when people wake up

Taking this a step further, Negative can be further associated with RGB’s subconscious/being unconscious by his flower-spawning

Lesbians Fight TV-Dad for Custody of Daughter

It’s “make fun of RGB hour” on TPoH and im living. Sharp, sour, cheesy poop indeed

Gotta remember to contrast this against when Hero actually drinks his colors later

gotta remember that this is 4 PEOPLE THAT RGB HAS FUCKED OVER BANDING TOGETHER TO GIVE HIM SHIT. LIKE, HE’S KIDNAPPED THEM ALL, HE CAN’T COMPLAIN

Under the sea, under the seeea~

Uh oh. UH OH THAT’S A SCISSOR BLADE

UH OH

Melody shouted in sforzando but it’s already too late ;_;

Oh! And the notation on top- that tells you to use a mute. God dammit

I knew this was coming and yet I am devastated anyway. goodbye my sweet wives your time was too short. Please come back one day

It’s also notable that Hate cut them out right at the border before the third and final protection on the Market begins. We know later that the darkness blots them entirely out of Hate’s view, so if they’d made it just a bit further She wouldn’t have been able to capture them like she just has

D’you think RGB knows exactly what’s happened to them?

If bodies of water are another form of Good Protection, then Fears hanging around the Pool of Tears is doubly weird

Yikes tho good thing Hero hopped off, can you imagine if Hero had gotten snipped away alongside her moms?? Terrible

Jeebs are you telling me that Hero would have eventually started to fade if she’d carried that pile of [—–] long enough?! RGB! BAD DAD! GET ‘IM HERO

Then again, this means he was probably planning to carry it himself most of the way. He has certain advantages after all- he overgenerates color for himself. It’s probably why he lasts as long in the storm of Nothing as he does…

Oh no OH NOOOOO ASSOK HEARD MELODY’S SHOUT

Is that-? Could it be-? By jove, it is. RGB IS INITIATING AFFECTION AND COMFORT EVERYONE! YEEEEEEAH, MAKE UP FOR THAT BAD-DAD BEHAVIOR!

HEY NOW WAIT THE FUCK A MINUTE THERE- BUTTERFLY SHADOW

HEY. Her schism’s opening back up! Nothing on page 166, but once Julienne and Melody are gone in page 167 we see it starting to open back up

!! RGB OFFERS HER HIS HAND? HIS PHYSICAL, ACTUAL HAND?? HELLO????

And the third return of “just this once” is killing me dude

Poor Assok get scronch

Girl what makes you think TOBY and JULIENNE trust RGB?! Additionally, why are you including Dial on the list?! Is he just That Charming?

IN FACT,  every single person Hero just listed? RGB has personally ruined their life! he’s killed ALL of them! HERO I UNDERSTAND YOU’RE 6 BUT

Hero trusts Dial oh no. this can only result in bad things

Butterfly, flying off in defeat: goddamn fucking idealistic children making it hard for me to steal them away and end their story, come on! Dump the chump and let me end you!!!!

Back on that schism though- it opened up once they started fighting at the sun tree, and just now when the wives disappeared. I would say it’s ripped open by experiencing fear, but it definitely was not open when Hero saw Neggy Boi wrecking shop

Join me in the next chapter when our intrepid duo speedrun Pajama Sam: No Need to Hide When It’s Dark Outside! 

[the-clash-at-gallifrey]

Mordecai's Love Life Abridged - The Thrilling Saga

Mordecai: *sees Margaret*

Mordecai: HOLY S HTI I C ANNOT BREA THE SHE SMOKIN HOT

Rigby: Go ask her out! She seems nice...

Mordecai: lol wut

Rigby: Go ask lady pecs out

Mordecai: You kiddin me, I ain't doin that shit

Rigby: UGHHHGHGHGHGGHGHGH

*five episodes later*

Mordecai: Alright, imma do it. I'm gonna do it

Margaret: Hey dude wassup?

Mordecai: Do you wanna... fuck.

Margaret: WHAT?!

Mordecai: Nevermind NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE *runs back to Rigby*

Rigby: Dude!

Mordecai: I tried man, I really did try

*he eventually makes up with Margaret and hangs around with her for four seasons not getting anywhere*

Mordecai: I'm gonna kiss that hot piece of shit

Rigby: Oh lord...

Mordecai: it'll be easy!

Rigby: DO IT OR YOU'LL HAVE TO WEAR A DIAPER

Mordecai: wtf

Rigby: DO IT FOR THE VINE

Mordecai: Ughhhhhhhhhhh

Margaret: What's this shit I'm hearing about a bet?

Mordecai: No.

Margaret: FUCK YOU MORDECAI. FUCK YOU. *runs off*

Mordecai: Noooooooooooooooo!!!!

Margaret: Oh you want me to save your sorry little ass from freezing to death? Tell me how you REALLY feel about me.

Mordecai: OKAY FINE I LIKE YOU, OKAY?

Margaret: *nearly kisses him*

Margaret: Fuck you you piece of shit

*a few episodes later*

Eileen: HORY SHIT GUYS A FUCKIN METEOR SHOWER IS GONNA HIT THIS TOWN WITH A BANG *inside her head* hello Rigby you rabie-filled hottie.

Mordecai: Cool! I'll be there.

Rigby: ACTUALLY DO IT THIS TIME YOU WUSS.

*meteor shower hits*

Mordecai: Uhhhhhhhhhhh

Rigby: DO IT.

Mordecai: Stahp im emotionally unstable

Old potato guy: Bruh

Mordecai: Ughhhhh. Yo Margaret you wanna kiss?

*makes out*

Margaret: That was a great meteor shower (what the fuck just happened)

*dates for awhile*

Mordecai: Yo Margaret

Margaret: Goin' to college! Fuck you.

*loud emotional crying from Mordecai*

CJ: Hey Mordecai, I'm a cool ass cloud that puts up with zero shit, have all the same interests as you, and I kill people. You wanna date?

Mordecai: gee, I don't know, you're pretty cool, but-

Rigby: DO NOT.

Mordecai: Fine.

CJ: sick

*hangs out for awhile*

Eileen: GO ON A FUCKIN DATE ALREADY

Mordecai and CJ: wut

Eileen: DO IT.

Mordecai: Fine, u down fo dis CJ?

CJ: sure

*date than ends with drama and Mordecai and CJ becoming canon*

Mordecai: I luv this cloud

Rigby: STAHP

Mordecai: What?!

Rigby: SPEND MORE TIME WIT ME

Mordecai: ... bruh

Rigby: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*a few months later*

Margaret: Surprise bitch

Mordecai: THE FUCK

Margaret: I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me

Mordecai: No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

CJ: Hey Morde-

Mordecai: Shut the fuck up

CJ: What?

Margaret: Hey CJ!

CJ: Hi, I'm Mordo's bitch now

Margaret: WAT

Mordecai: I, ummmm

Margaret: No, it's cool! You need to be happy!

Mordecai: thx

*hug*

Mordecai: I AIN'T LETTIN GO OF YOU

Margaret: ME EITHER

*makes out*

CJ: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Mordecai: well shit

Margaret: oh...

*runs out crying*

Mordecai: NO PLZ FORGIVE ME

Eileen: Dis bitch is now my roommate. fuck you.

Margaret: you done fucked up Mordecai

Mordecai: ...

Mordecai: i fucked up. fuck

*the next day*

Mordecai: what up cj

CJ: why the did you invite me to this shithole of a coffee shop

Mordecai: idk what happened

CJ: Bitch plz

Mordecai: Here's a bunch of butt-shaped gifts

CJ: OH MY GOD I FORGIVE YOU I FUCKIN LOVE BUTTS

Margaret: IM GOIN TO CALL MORDY AT THE WRONG FUCKING TIME. YO MORDY

CJ: who the fuck is this bitch

Mordecai: The bitch I kissed

CJ: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.

*more sad music*

Mordecai: fuck you margaret... fuck you...

Sad Sax Guy: IF YOU HAVIN GURL PROBLEMS I FELL BAD FO YOU SON I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BITCH AINT ONE

Mordecai: shut up and help me cj fuckin hates my guts

Sad Sax Guy: Get the bitch you kissed here

Mordecai: Fine

*at the park*

Mordecai: Wut up bitch

Margaret: I don't want to get involved even though I should have stopped you from kissing me but I went along with it anyway, so fuck you.

Mordecai: You're a good friend

*hugs*

CJ: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

Mordecai: goddammit...

Sad Sax Guy: Lol just put up a bunch of cheap-ass performances fo her

Mordecai: thanks lmao

CJ: is this a fuckin joke

Mordecai: Yo up Cee- *gets hit by bus*

CJ: JESUS CHRIST ARE YOU OKAY

Mordecai: Yeah, thing is.... are you?

CJ: Feelin' great *slaps him on head with board* bye asshole

Rigby: Are you insane?!

Mordecai: lol wut

Rigby: STAHP LISTENING TO A WEIRD SHIRTLESS GUY WHO PLAYS THE SAXOPHONE FOR SOME WEIRD REASON

Mordecai: Ugh.

Sad Sax Guy: Go to your older bitch's house

Mordecai: You mean my mom's?

Sad Sax Guy: ...

*goes to mom's house*

Mordecai's Mom: You done fucked up Mordecai

Mordecai: I KNOW. HELP ME.

Mordecai's Mom: Sway her in.

Mordecai: Fine.

*goes outside*

Mordecai: Rigby, tell dis bitch to look outside

Rigby: Look outside

CJ: Awwwwwww...

*at hospital*

CJ: Why the fuck did you kiss that bitch

Mordecai: I HAD FEELZ FOR MARGARET AND SEEING HER BROUGHT DOS FEELZ BACK I'M SORRY PLEASE TAKE ME BACK IT WAS MY FAULT.

CJ: Fine.

*makes out*

Sad Sax Guy: Happy holidays, asshole.

*a month later*

Eileen: YOU GUYZ WANNA SEE SOME FUCKIN SEA TURTS

CJ, Mordecai, and Rigby: sure

Eileen: YO MARGARET YOU WANNA SEE

CJ: no

Eileen: wat

CJ: NO.

Eileen: Oh. Right.

*in the car*

CJ: you had to kiss dat bitch didnt u mordecai

Mordecai: I HAD FEELZ FOR HER I'M SORRY FO DA LAST TIME.

*drama with spa shit happens*

CJ: Goddammit.

*calls Margaret*

Margaret: YOOOOOOO CHECK OUT THESE ASSHOLES USIN' TURTLES FO THEIR SPA SHIT, HOW DA FUCK DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ANIMAL CRUELTY?

*a bunch of shit goes down*

Eileen: THX MARGARET FO SAVING OUR ASS

CJ: I called her u know...

Eileen: CJ AWWWWWWWWWW

*group hug with margaret*

CJ: bitch what the fuck do u think you're doing

Margaret: #awkward

Eileen: SHUT UP AND HUG ME

CJ: i came to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now

*a month later*

Mordecai: HOLY SHIT A PARTY IS GOIN DOWN AT DAT OTHER BITCH'S HOUSE. YO C-

CJ: lol no i'd rather pick up garbage than do that

Rigby: Oh right, because-

Mordecai: Shut the fuck up Rigby. Look, I'll get u some of dat cake cause u a bae.

CJ: THANK YOU MORDECAI *hugs*

Mordecai: *sees Margaret*

Mordecai: NOPE *runs into bathroom*

Rigby: dude... what the fuck...

Mordecai: I AIN'T FUCKIN ANYTHING UP IN HERE

Rigby: bruh...

Mordecai: Fine...

Margaret's Dad: YO DIAPER BOY I GOT A SEAT IN THE HELI FO YA YOU WANNA RIDE WIT DA FAM?

Mordecai: shit

*goes onto helicopter*

Margaret: How's the park? :)

Mordecai: FUCK HER RIGHT IN DA PUSSY

Margaret: stahp acting weird oh my god...

Mordecai: I HAVE TO U DON'T UNDERSTAND

CJ: lol so some bitch got burned by a river and... what the fuck is my bitch doing with that bitch...

Mordecai: oh no. don't.

CJ: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT MORDECAI I AM DONE TRUSTING YOU YOU PIECE OF GODDAMN BIRD SHIT YOU CAN GO SUCK ON MARGARET'S EGGS FOR ALL I CARE *rages*

Mordecai: NO STAHP I'VE BEEN TELLIN YOU A HUNDRED FUCKIN TIMES I AM NOT WIT THIS BITCH ANYMORE

CJ: LIAR

*almost kills Margaret's parents*

Margaret: MOMMMMMMMMMMMM DADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Margaret's parents: well fuck u wanna do a mannonball into the pool

*lands*

CJ: RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR *knocks Margaret off helicopter*

Margaret: I HAVE A BAE LITERALLY CALM THE FUCK DOWN CJ

Mordecai: lol wut

Margaret's dad: lol wut

CJ: lol wut

Margaret's Boyfriend: lol hi guyz wut up

Margaret: SO SHUT THE FUCK UP THEN

Mordecai: thank god *lands helicopter*

CJ: *cries*

Mordecai: yo bitch i got u cake

CJ: you might as well take that cake and shove it up my ass mordecai

Mordecai: lol ok

CJ: IT's A FIGURE OF SPEECH YOU MORON

Mordecai: oh

CJ: I FUCKED UP. I ALMOST KILLED DIS BITCH'S PARENTS-

Margaret: will u please stop referring to me as "bitch"

CJ: ANNNNNNYWAAAAYYYS I ALMOST KILLED THEM ALL OVER NOTHING

Mordecai: yeah u did that....

CJ: I HAVE TO LEAVE I'M HAVING FEELZ

*CJ runs off as "You Give Love a Bad Name" by Bon Jovi plays in the background*

*a few months later*

Margaret: zzzzzzzzz HOLY FUCK oh my god *shoves head on couch* EILEEN GET YOUR MOLE ASS IN HERE

Eileen: oh god not this shit again

Margaret: I don't actually have a bae! I made the whole thing up so CJ wouldn't kick my ass! WHAT DO I DO

Eileen: Tell the truth?

Margaret: bitch pls

*knocking on door*

Eileen: you know that bitch that almost killed your parents? well, she's here

Margaret: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE *opens the door*

CJ: Hey, Margaret! :3

Margaret: Hey, uh, CJ...

CJ: Look I'm sorry for pretty much the whole time that I've known you with killing your parents, destruction and all that other shit, but can we get to know each other a little bit? You can bring your bae if you want!

Margaret: KEWL

CJ: Awesome! *leaves*

Margaret: OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE

Eileen: Get Del here

Margaret: YO DEL CAN YOU PRETEND TO BE MY SUGAR DADDY FOR THE DAY

Del: lol sure

Margaret: RIGBY COME UP WITH A SCRIPT

Rigby: k

Del: *literally fucks everything up*

CJ: he cool

Margaret: ikr

Del: how you guys doing (ohhhhh dis is da best ass ive felt all my life)

Margaret: good I guess (get your fucking meat sticks off my ass)

Margaret: YOU'RE FUCKING EVERYTHING UP

Del: i know

Margaret: RIGBY DEL IS-

Rigby: fuck u bitch *hangs up*

Mordecai: i like del. hes pretty cool

Margaret: lol yeah

Mordecai: :>

Margaret:(oh my god mordecai's adorable as shit) DEL IS NOT ACTUALLY-

Bar: LOL HERE COMES A FUCKIN KISS CAM TO LITERALLY FUCK EVERYTHING UP. AND NOW LET'S "COINCIDENTALLY" POINT IT TOWARDS MARGARET AND DEL TROLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Margaret: oh god i have to kiss this ass pincher

Del: come on gimme a kiss

Margaret: NO GO FUCK YOURSELF

Audience: shit

CJ: im sorry what the fuck did you just say

Margaret: HE'S NOT ACTUALLY MY BAE I MADE THE WHOLE THING UP SO YOU WOULDN'T KILL ME

CJ: lol that's fine except you fuckin lied to me u bitch.

Margaret: i know...

CJ: YOU HAVE FEELZ FOR MORDECAI DON'T YOU? YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME BUT I'M PUTTING YOU ON THE SPOT SO YOU KINDA HAVE TO

Margaret: OKAY FINE I DO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY

Mordecai: oh fuck no

CJ: fuck u bitch

*storms out*

Margaret: Morde-

Mordecai: NO WAIT DON'T LEAVE ME HERE IN THIS AWKWARD SITUATION

Margaret: fuck

[makesureee]

1-150 plz ty~~

omg holy shit that’s a lot and i’m on adderall this will be fun omg yay

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?some bitch ass bitch who’s dead to me

2. Are you outgoing or shy?DEFINITELY shy

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?any three of my friends, whenever they happen to hit me up, my dog, and my fUTURE GIRLFRIEND WHERE ARE YOU

4. Are you easy to get along with?it depends how well you know me i suppose but i am generally kind, or at least i try to be

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?i do not like anyone so i just get drunk by myself

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?i reallyyyyy love masculine looking girls (could be short hair, shaved hair, tats, piercings, just an all around “gay” look, which is kinda funny for a straight guy XD) but i ALSO LOVE feminine girls fat girls skinny girls just…..GIRLSbut as far as finding people attractive even tho i’m straight boys can be hecka cute too and i typically find myself finding the more feminine looking bois cuteand as for anyone nonbinary or genderqueer it’s pretty much the same

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?no but boy i sure hope so

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?fuck heteronormativity but uh no one really. i don’t like anyone. if you mean literally in general then i’m waiting for my friend to hit me up so we can smoke XD

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?yeah but not for reasons you’d think

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?no fuckin idea

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?“well i also gotta head back to my house so you’re good” cause my friend needed some time to get weed and food before i head over

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?Sad Clown - Kate MicucciPick a suburb, find a culdesac - Amy Bruce Spaceshowstraight kids playing dress up - the official suckersGot High and Still Got No Friends - Shelf LifeOld Maid Cards - Kate Micucci

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?only if it’s someone i’m really really really comfortable with

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?nope. i believe in coincidence and probability

15. What good thing happened this summer?nothing honestly

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?fUCK to the NO

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?um…definitely?? without a doubt??? we’re so small we’re so small we could just instantaneously die any second bruh we’re dust in the breeze this question gave me another existential crisis i want a refund

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?lol no

19. Do you like bubble baths?i used to but now it’s just like……im hot and sweaty and can’t breathe why is the air so wet……

20. Do you like your neighbors?i don’t know my neighbors but i like them because their christmas lights are aesthetic and ONE OF MY NEIGHBORS just has like 20 FUCKIN DUCKS chilling in their front yard. they’re like 3 houses down across the street but if i leave my window open sometimes i can hear them having a good time

21. What are you bad habits?drug dependency/addictive tendencies

22. Where would you like to travel?i wanna go back to italy. spain would be nice. idk. like……the earth has so many places…..

23. Do you have trust issues?nah i’m very forgiving and it sucks

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?drugs!

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?how in the world do i pick

26. What do you do when you wake up?roll a blunt…and smoke it

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?that question is complicated. i’m white, so ideally (in this corrupt awful world), it’s the most advantageous so i wouldn’t change as to have better opportunities and less judgement. however, hOLY SHIT ALL THE COLORS OF THE PEOPLE ARE SO COOL AND BEING WHITE LOOKS SO BOORRINGG so if we lived in a hypothetical world where every ethnicity was held at an equal standard yes a darker skin color would be cool

28. Who are you most comfortable around?nobody really. i’m not emotionally close to anyone right now

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?no but one relationship i ended and the other party did not want it to end

30. Do you ever want to get married?marriage doesn’t really matter to me. just a certificate. if it can help with taxes and whatever, sure, as long as i can remain the important parts of my independence. but imo i don’t even think that marriage should give people tax benefits but you take what good things the fucked up world gives ya

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? LOL YES BUT I’D LOOK RIDICULOUS

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?michonne from the walking dead is super attractive and i can’t really think of anyone else but i probably would not have a threesome with celebrities that’s too much pressure

33. Spell your name with your chin.samkel (THAT WAS CLOSE)

34. Do you play sports? What sports?ew

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?TV but like does netflix count

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?not really i have this ability to not like people unless i’m almost certain they like me and terminate all feelings for a person if rejected. i mean like, i liked someone in high school once and dropped hardcore hints but never outright said it so killed my feelings and they actually told me recently that they used to have a crush on me too XDD funny ass shit

37. What do you say during awkward silences?“i’m gonna play some music”

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?cute funny stoner who loves and accepts me for who i am and supports me and helps me grow and does pills with me and loves all my new favorite music i show her and WITH LIKE A ONE IN BILLION CHANCE i’d like her to be shorter than me cause i’m really short and that’s really killer on my self esteem….but like….if we were both super short imagine how cute that’d be…..we’d be like ruby and sapphire….we’d get made fun of and be the smol couple but we would be smol together

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?my local headshops lolol

40. What do you want to do after high school?i’m already after high school but ultimately i want to be a glassblower and make bongs and shit

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?i don’t believe in blanket statements (lol that in itself is a blanket statement)

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?i’m awkward or anxious and don’t know what to say because i don’t know how to be a person

43. Do you smile at strangers?sometimes

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?NEITHER IF I AM NOT GUARANTEED TO SURVIVE but space even though i would still have massive panic attacks with that guarantee like i can’t even be on a road i don’t know by myself without having an anxiety attack

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?the hope that one day i’ll have something that makes me feel less empty

46. What are you paranoid about?holy shit EVERYTHING everyone hates me and i’m a disappointment to my parents and i’m super unattractive and everyone that sees me judges me and like these are straight up facts yo

47. Have you ever been high?i’m high right now

48. Have you ever been drunk?i’m drunk right now. just kidding on that one. i kinda used to be an alcoholic but i traded it in for pot lol. best decision ever. worst financial decision ever tho

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?i put 12 shucks of corn up my asshole

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?black. almost everything i wear is black when will i not act like im in high school

51. Ever wished you were someone else?only always

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?confidential

53. Favourite makeup brand?none i ent wear makeup

54. Favourite store?i’m not a shopping person so i’d again have to go with my local headshop

55. Favourite blog?i cannot choose

56. Favourite colour?black

57. Favourite food?also cannot choose

58. Last thing you ate?i have no idea i haven’t eaten today

59. First thing you ate this morning?i have no idea i literally have not eaten today

60. Ever won a competition? For what?you bitches better wATCH oUT cause this guy got SECOND PLACE in his THIRD GRADE SCIENCE FAIR for a poster board about EVAPORATIONand eh i think i won an art show award or two in high school

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?no i never even skipped class in high school cause with attendance you get exemption rights from exams~ now that i’m in college i skip occasionally tho lol

62. Been arrested? For what?dear god no i’d have a panic attack so hard i think the cop would feel bad for me

63. Ever been in love?yep

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?ugh ew ok so like i was bi at the time and so was he (but i wasn’t into this guy at all) but so anyway it’s after school and we’re behind it with our friends and we start walking away and he pulls me aside and the friends keep walking and his face kept getting closer to mine and in my head i’m just like dude…..why you….getting closer….that’s close….what…..oh….okay. that’s. lips. okay. it was like a gross quick kiss and then like when we talked about it and i rejected him hE WENT AND TOLD ALL HIS FRIENDS THAT HE REJECTED ME. luckily a friend i used to have and/or fuck jumped in while i wasn’t present and defended me cause that’s some straight bullshit.

65. Are you hungry right now?nah i’m on adderall

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?eh nah only because it’s harder to form a bond. not that i have strong bonds with my irl friends but we communicate more and smoke together

67. Facebook or Twitter?neither

68. Twitter or Tumblr?tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?no

70. Names of your bestfriends?lexi is me only best friend but even we aren’t suuuper close anymore

71. Craving something? What?fulfillment and happiness and a girlfriend

72. What colour are your towels?green

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?bruh…….9 ok but 2 are for my dog when she isn’t sleeping next to me on my pillows

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?nah but i use my dog as a cuddle buddy. if she doesn’t wanna cuddle we just hold hands

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?i probably have a good bit lying around my room. idk maybe like 5-8 somewhere in a drawer or whatever

75. Favourite animal?cliche as fuck but like….dogs i love dogs i love themi illove them so much i lvoe dogs

76. What colour is your underwear?currently grey with black stripes lol

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?vanilla for sure

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?oreo!

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?black XD

80. What colour pants?BLACK

81. Favourite tv show?black. nah probably adventure time or rick and morty

82. Favourite movie?i don’t like movies that much

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?have seen neither

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?nope?

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?who

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?stoner turtle

87. First person you talked to today?my adderall buddy. she texted me like the second i woke up some how

88. Last person you talked to today?she literally just texted me as i was writing that out soooo

89. Name a person you hate?i aint no snitch

90. Name a person you love?lexi cause that’s positive

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?myself

92. In a fight with someone?never been, never want

93. How many sweatpants do you have?one

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?i had one but as of today i have THREE

95. Last movie you watched?suicide squad and it sucked but pretty colors tho

96. Favourite actress?ent got one

97. Favourite actor?nope

98. Do you tan a lot?not at all what is the sun

99. Have any pets?two! daisy and ko bear!

100. How are you feeling?i’m feeling okay. i’ll feel better cause now my friend hit me up but i’m rushing to finish this!

101. Do you type fast?YA DAMN RIGHT I DO I GOTTA FINISH THIS

102. Do you regret anything from your past?i regret like almost everything?

103. Can you spell well?the answer is no

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?nope

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?yep

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?yep

107. Have you ever been on a horse?ONCE WHEN I WAS LITTLE BUT I WANNA DO IT AGAIN but i’ve been on a camel does that count

108. What should you be doing?bagging my weed and leaving the house right now

109. Is something irritating you right now?myself as always

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?nope

111. Do you have trust issues?i trusted you not to repeat a question so maybe i do now

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?A STUPID ASS BITCH I REGRET IT SO MUCH i never cry in front of ANYONE before that it had been THREE YEARS since i cried in front of someone but i trust horrible people

113. What was your childhood nickname?sammy

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?yep. i was born in florida, live in georgia. been to a few other surrounding states but nowhere far other than abroad

115. Do you play the Wii?nah

116. Are you listening to music right now?nah the album ended

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?i don’t like soup

118. Do you like Chinese food?not really i wanna eat normal food with chopsticks tho

119. Favourite book?ew

120. Are you afraid of the dark?nah but i still get the creeps

121. Are you mean?some people seem to think so. i think so a lot of the time.

122. Is cheating ever okay?yes. i don’t do blanket statements

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?dear god no i avoid super messes but pretty much do whatever

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?fuck no

125. Do you believe in true love?i believe that love can be true but i do not believe that one single individual is your “soul mate” or “perfect match” or whatever. there are potentially thousands of people that you could fall madly in love with and it’s just probability and coincidence that allow you to collide with them

126. Are you currently bored?with my life yeah

127. What makes you happy?drugs and friends and dogs

128. Would you change your name?i have and it’s awesome now

129. What your zodiac sign?taurus

130. Do you like subway?never ridden one

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?heteronormative again and i don’t have a best friend but the only two female friends i have i would not have sex with, although me and one of them make cute jokes about dating and romance all the time

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?BRUH STOP REPEATING

133. Favourite lyrics right now?“you tell me all the reasons you hate meand it feels like you’re listing off the symptoms of a borderline personalityand I know I am not tetheredto all the behaviors or the thoughtsI know one day I could rise above it allbut for now my illness makes people think I really suckand I guess for a couple more years I need to suck it up”- Don’t Blame Yourself by Human Kitten

i relate hella cause i’m pretty sure i have bpd and i can’t afford health insurance so i’m just kinda here

134. Can you count to one million?fuck no

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?i never remember shit. that’s seriously not a lie i don’t remember

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?my door is always closed unless i’m home alone but eVEN THEN it’s closed if i’m sleeping

137. How tall are you?ew 5′2

138. Curly or Straight hair?mine? straight

139. Brunette or Blonde?brunette

140. Summer or Winter?winter

141. Night or Day?both or in between

142. Favourite month?october or december. i like the october vibe but like the december $$$$$

143. Are you a vegetarian?nooope

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?milk

145. Tea or Coffee?green tea with mint please!

146. Was today a good day?it was not terrible. first day of the new quarter. worked my ass off but made some money. aboutta go smoke. it’s been alright

147. Mars or Snickers?neither

148. What’s your favourite quote?too many good quotes

149. Do you believe in ghosts?nope i believe in science and facts homie g

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?“While some people will argue that this (A) may not exist or (B) is certainly not part of our physical forms, I’m going to go ahead and boldly state that consciousness (at the very least) is an irrefutable part of the human experience.” no shit that was Hannah Hart’s My Drunk Kitchen

[loserninaa]

Someone just called me a fuckin bitch n ugly last 3 weeks then i fuckin have hw and thousands things to do everyday back then i was always at home now I don’t even get to sleep well at night with my used to bestriend aka bed it’s like I’m always out never inside anymore always school always shopping mall but never home if it’s beach I won’t be complaining at all duh then i have problems just like problems in general like do i give a vibe that you should hate me or what does it really says that you should hate me or insult me or hurt me. Fuck sake again with my siblings they be always thinking about themselves like the only important thing is them only like wtf bitch like i give u good things alllwaaaayssss give u good time like i treat u like a princess or king so just that everybody in the house feels like they at peace BUT yo mfa be always thinking bout yo self cause Oh right no one mattersss asking for money for god sake then when we said we’re low on money so that you probably atleast be considerate enough to atleast choose cheap food or just one food but you don’t cause u be that TAMAK gurl so u take 2 And there’s alot more but all of that SHE BE THINKING ONLY SHE MATTERS wait till i die will she still thought she only one matters!!?!? Let’s hope not! And fuck sake bruh me being weak fuckin hell man be crying everyday be fuckin emotional everyday jeez like calm down ass but NO im like that weak bitch I’m like ugh u know fuck whatever fuck u and u and u and u too🙃

[heavensentfanfic]

First Day Out

Chris 

Our first stop on our 2-in-1 date was the High downtown. Luckily we caught the exhibits on a free day. We puled up to the front and Nohea screamed.

“What?” I yelled. “What’s wrong?

“There’s a Winnie-the-Pooh exhibit!”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “You gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.” I turned the car off and walked around to open the door for her.

“We’re going,” she said once she hopped out. She was only 5′5″, so seeing her hop out the Wagon was funny.

“You such a kid.”

Once we were inside, Nohea found the exhibit without even asking anyone where it was or how to get there. She was obsessed with the whole thing. She looked so happy and she couldn’t stop fucking giggling. I followed her around, but I kept my distance. Seeing her smile made me feel amazing. I hadn’t seen her this happy since our first date. 

Nohea definitely makes me happy. I’m always at peace when I’m with her. Even when we argue. I know her heart is still healing from her loss and everything with her mom, but I need to be the one that helps her get over it all. I want to make her as happy as she makes me. 

“Chris!” She exclaimed quietly from around the corner. I followed her voice until I was greeted by a sign that read GIFT SHOP.

“Okalani...” I gave her a blank stare. Her face took on one of a puppy, her hands interlocked with each other under her chin.

“Please, baby! Please, please, pleeease!” She shuffled closer to me with each please. Her chin rested on my torso and her arms wrapped around my waist. I smacked my teeth.

“Fine, bruh. Damn. Don’t ask me for shit else today.” 

She smiled wide. “Thanks, babe.” 

I sat on a bench inside the store while Nohea shopped around. Niggas finally had service so I decided to call Ty.

“Yo wassup,” he answered.

“Shit. I’m with Nohea at the damn Winnie-the-Pooh exhibit at the High. She havin’ a fuckin’ field day in the gift shop right now.” My eyes followed her back and forth from one side of the store to the other with a basket full of stuffed animas and who knows what else.

“Man, Ari wanted to go to that shit. I’m not takin her though. I know she’d be goin’ crazy just like her best friend is right now. You tryna go to the strip club?”

“That’s a random ass question. Which one? It’s Thursday, ain’t it?”

“Follies, Diamonds, or the Flame?”

“Diamonds,” we said in unison. 

“I’ll call you when I’m on the way to you,” I said. “Hopefully babygirl don’t start crying cause she’ll miss me too much.”

“Hopefully Ariana will let me go. Her crazy ass. But alright, nigga.”

The call ended and as soon as I life my head, Nohea slides in front of me with her basket full of shit. 

“I’m ready!” She cheesed.

“Bout time.” I stood and we walked to the cashier together. 

Nohea placed the basket on the counter, still giddy as hell. The cashier finally finished ringing everything up. She was just about to tell me the price when I said, “Don’t even say it, just tell me when to swipe.” I covered the screen on the keypad so I wouldn’t see the price. I swiped my cared, pushed the green button and kept it movin’. The cashier handed Nohea the receipt and the two bags full of Winnie-the-Pooh themed items. This girl was so happy, she was humming the theme song on the way to the car.

“This was the best date ever! We don’t even have to go anywhere else.” She said. I heard my wallet take a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Chris.”

“You’re welcome, babygirl.”

Finally back at the house, I was getting ready to leave while Nohea was putting her animals down in the studio to make the room “cuter”, as she said.

I threw on an old Hawks jersey with a fold chain and chinos to match. 

“Where’re you going?” Nohea asked as I was walking downstairs. She had just came up from the studio.

“Out with Ty. To the booty club.” I chuckled. “You won’t miss me too much will you?” I took her hand and kissed it.

“Of course I will,” she blushed. “But I was hoping we could sit and talk.” 

“Did something happen?”

“No. Nothing bad.”

“We’ll talk when I get back. I promise.”

“Okay...” 

I knew she was upset about me leaving, but Ty and I ain’t chilled in a minute.

“I love you,” I told her.

“I love you too. Be careful!” She called out as I walked out of the house into the world i was supposed to leave behind. 

[mordecai-put-your-phone-away]

Mordecai's Love Life Abridged - The Thrilling Saga

Mordecai: *sees Margaret*

Mordecai: HOLY S HTI I C ANNOT BREA THE SHE SMOKIN HOT

Rigby: Go ask her out! She seems nice...

Mordecai: lol wut

Rigby: Go ask lady pecs out

Mordecai: You kiddin me, I ain't doin that shit

Rigby: UGHHHGHGHGHGGHGHGH

*five episodes later*

Mordecai: Alright, imma do it. I'm gonna do it

Margaret: Hey dude wassup?

Mordecai: Do you wanna... fuck.

Margaret: WHAT?!

Mordecai: Nevermind NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE *runs back to Rigby*

Rigby: Dude!

Mordecai: I tried man, I really did try

*he eventually makes up with Margaret and hangs around with her for four seasons not getting anywhere*

Mordecai: I'm gonna kiss that hot piece of shit

Rigby: Oh lord...

Mordecai: it'll be easy!

Rigby: DO IT OR YOU'LL HAVE TO WEAR A DIAPER

Mordecai: wtf

Rigby: DO IT FOR THE VINE

Mordecai: Ughhhhhhhhhhh

Margaret: What's this shit I'm hearing about a bet?

Mordecai: No.

Margaret: FUCK YOU MORDECAI. FUCK YOU. *runs off*

Mordecai: Noooooooooooooooo!!!!

Margaret: Oh you want me to save your sorry little ass from freezing to death? Tell me how you REALLY feel about me.

Mordecai: OKAY FINE I LIKE YOU, OKAY?

Margaret: *nearly kisses him*

Margaret: Fuck you you piece of shit

*a few episodes later*

Eileen: HORY SHIT GUYS A FUCKIN METEOR SHOWER IS GONNA HIT THIS TOWN WITH A BANG *inside her head* hello Rigby you rabie-filled hottie.

Mordecai: Cool! I'll be there.

Rigby: ACTUALLY DO IT THIS TIME YOU WUSS.

*meteor shower hits*

Mordecai: Uhhhhhhhhhhh

Rigby: DO IT.

Mordecai: Stahp im emotionally unstable

Old potato guy: Bruh

Mordecai: Ughhhhh. Yo Margaret you wanna kiss?

*makes out*

Margaret: That was a great meteor shower (what the fuck just happened)

*dates for awhile*

Mordecai: Yo Margaret

Margaret: Goin' to college! Fuck you.

*loud emotional crying from Mordecai*

CJ: Hey Mordecai, I'm a cool ass cloud that puts up with zero shit, have all the same interests as you, and I kill people. You wanna date?

Mordecai: gee, I don't know, you're pretty cool, but-

Rigby: DO NOT.

Mordecai: Fine.

CJ: sick

*hangs out for awhile*

Eileen: GO ON A FUCKIN DATE ALREADY

Mordecai and CJ: wut

Eileen: DO IT.

Mordecai: Fine, u down fo dis CJ?

CJ: sure

*date than ends with drama and Mordecai and CJ becoming canon*

Mordecai: I luv this cloud

Rigby: STAHP

Mordecai: What?!

Rigby: SPEND MORE TIME WIT ME

Mordecai: ... bruh

Rigby: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*a few months later*

Margaret: Surprise bitch

Mordecai: THE FUCK

Margaret: I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me

Mordecai: No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

CJ: Hey Morde-

Mordecai: Shut the fuck up

CJ: What?

Margaret: Hey CJ!

CJ: Hi, I'm Mordo's bitch now

Margaret: WAT

Mordecai: I, ummmm

Margaret: No, it's cool! You need to be happy!

Mordecai: thx

*hug*

Mordecai: I AIN'T LETTIN GO OF YOU

Margaret: ME EITHER

*makes out*

CJ: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Mordecai: well shit

Margaret: oh...

*runs out crying*

Mordecai: NO PLZ FORGIVE ME

Eileen: Dis bitch is now my roommate. fuck you.

Margaret: you done fucked up Mordecai

Mordecai: ...

Mordecai: i fucked up. fuck

*the next day*

Mordecai: what up cj

CJ: why the did you invite me to this shithole of a coffee shop

Mordecai: idk what happened

CJ: Bitch plz

Mordecai: Here's a bunch of butt-shaped gifts

CJ: OH MY GOD I FORGIVE YOU I FUCKIN LOVE BUTTS

Margaret: IM GOIN TO CALL MORDY AT THE WRONG FUCKING TIME. YO MORDY

CJ: who the fuck is this bitch

Mordecai: The bitch I kissed

CJ: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.

*more sad music*

Mordecai: fuck you margaret... fuck you...

Sad Sax Guy: IF YOU HAVIN GURL PROBLEMS I FELL BAD FO YOU SON I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BITCH AINT ONE

Mordecai: shut up and help me cj fuckin hates my guts

Sad Sax Guy: Get the bitch you kissed here

Mordecai: Fine

*at the park*

Mordecai: Wut up bitch

Margaret: I don't want to get involved even though I should have stopped you from kissing me but I went along with it anyway, so fuck you.

Mordecai: You're a good friend

*hugs*

CJ: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

Mordecai: goddammit...

Sad Sax Guy: Lol just put up a bunch of cheap-ass performances fo her

Mordecai: thanks lmao

CJ: is this a fuckin joke

Mordecai: Yo up Cee- *gets hit by bus*

CJ: JESUS CHRIST ARE YOU OKAY

Mordecai: Yeah, thing is.... are you?

CJ: Feelin' great *slaps him on head with board* bye asshole

Rigby: Are you insane?!

Mordecai: lol wut

Rigby: STAHP LISTENING TO A WEIRD SHIRTLESS GUY WHO PLAYS THE SAXOPHONE FOR SOME WEIRD REASON

Mordecai: Ugh.

Sad Sax Guy: Go to your older bitch's house

Mordecai: You mean my mom's?

Sad Sax Guy: ...

*goes to mom's house*

Mordecai's Mom: You done fucked up Mordecai

Mordecai: I KNOW. HELP ME.

Mordecai's Mom: Sway her in.

Mordecai: Fine.

*goes outside*

Mordecai: Rigby, tell dis bitch to look outside

Rigby: Look outside

CJ: Awwwwwww...

*at hospital*

CJ: Why the fuck did you kiss that bitch

Mordecai: I HAD FEELZ FOR MARGARET AND SEEING HER BROUGHT DOS FEELZ BACK I'M SORRY PLEASE TAKE ME BACK IT WAS MY FAULT.

CJ: Fine.

*makes out*

Sad Sax Guy: Happy holidays, asshole.

*a month later*

Eileen: YOU GUYZ WANNA SEE SOME FUCKIN SEA TURTS

CJ, Mordecai, and Rigby: sure

Eileen: YO MARGARET YOU WANNA SEE

CJ: no

Eileen: wat

CJ: NO.

Eileen: Oh. Right.

*in the car*

CJ: you had to kiss dat bitch didnt u mordecai

Mordecai: I HAD FEELZ FOR HER I'M SORRY FO DA LAST TIME.

*drama with spa shit happens*

CJ: Goddammit.

*calls Margaret*

Margaret: YOOOOOOO CHECK OUT THESE ASSHOLES USIN' TURTLES FO THEIR SPA SHIT, HOW DA FUCK DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ANIMAL CRUELTY?

*a bunch of shit goes down*

Eileen: THX MARGARET FO SAVING OUR ASS

CJ: I called her u know...

Eileen: CJ AWWWWWWWWWW

*group hug with margaret*

CJ: bitch what the fuck do u think you're doing

Margaret: #awkward

Eileen: SHUT UP AND HUG ME

CJ: i came to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now

*a month later*

Mordecai: HOLY SHIT A PARTY IS GOIN DOWN AT DAT OTHER BITCH'S HOUSE. YO C-

CJ: lol no i'd rather pick up garbage than do that

Rigby: Oh right, because-

Mordecai: Shut the fuck up Rigby. Look, I'll get u some of dat cake cause u a bae.

CJ: THANK YOU MORDECAI *hugs*

Mordecai: *sees Margaret*

Mordecai: NOPE *runs into bathroom*

Rigby: dude... what the fuck...

Mordecai: I AIN'T FUCKIN ANYTHING UP IN HERE

Rigby: bruh...

Mordecai: Fine...

Margaret's Dad: YO DIAPER BOY I GOT A SEAT IN THE HELI FO YA YOU WANNA RIDE WIT DA FAM?

Mordecai: shit

*goes onto helicopter*

Margaret: How's the park? :)

Mordecai: FUCK HER RIGHT IN DA PUSSY

Margaret: stahp acting weird oh my god...

Mordecai: I HAVE TO U DON'T UNDERSTAND

CJ: lol so some bitch got burned by a river and... what the fuck is my bitch doing with that bitch...

Mordecai: oh no. don't.

CJ: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT MORDECAI I AM DONE TRUSTING YOU YOU PIECE OF GODDAMN BIRD SHIT YOU CAN GO SUCK ON MARGARET'S EGGS FOR ALL I CARE *rages*

Mordecai: NO STAHP I'VE BEEN TELLIN YOU A HUNDRED FUCKIN TIMES I AM NOT WIT THIS BITCH ANYMORE

CJ: LIAR

*almost kills Margaret's parents*

Margaret: MOMMMMMMMMMMMM DADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Margaret's parents: well fuck u wanna do a mannonball into the pool

*lands*

CJ: RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR *knocks Margaret off helicopter*

Margaret: I HAVE A BAE LITERALLY CALM THE FUCK DOWN CJ

Mordecai: lol wut

Margaret's dad: lol wut

CJ: lol wut

Margaret's Boyfriend: lol hi guyz wut up

Margaret: SO SHUT THE FUCK UP THEN

Mordecai: thank god *lands helicopter*

CJ: *cries*

Mordecai: yo bitch i got u cake

CJ: you might as well take that cake and shove it up my ass mordecai

Mordecai: lol ok

CJ: IT's A FIGURE OF SPEECH YOU MORON

Mordecai: oh

CJ: I FUCKED UP. I ALMOST KILLED DIS BITCH'S PARENTS-

Margaret: will u please stop referring to me as "bitch"

CJ: ANNNNNNYWAAAAYYYS I ALMOST KILLED THEM ALL OVER NOTHING

Mordecai: yeah u did that....

CJ: I HAVE TO LEAVE I'M HAVING FEELZ

*CJ runs off as "You Give Love a Bad Name" by Bon Jovi plays in the background*

*a few months later*

Margaret: zzzzzzzzz HOLY FUCK oh my god *shoves head on couch* EILEEN GET YOUR MOLE ASS IN HERE

Eileen: oh god not this shit again

Margaret: I don't actually have a bae! I made the whole thing up so CJ wouldn't kick my ass! WHAT DO I DO

Eileen: Tell the truth?

Margaret: bitch pls

*knocking on door*

Eileen: you know that bitch that almost killed your parents? well, she's here

Margaret: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE *opens the door*

CJ: Hey, Margaret! :3

Margaret: Hey, uh, CJ...

CJ: Look I'm sorry for pretty much the whole time that I've known you with killing your parents, destruction and all that other shit, but can we get to know each other a little bit? You can bring your bae if you want!

Margaret: KEWL

CJ: Awesome! *leaves*

Margaret: OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE

Eileen: Get Del here

Margaret: YO DEL CAN YOU PRETEND TO BE MY SUGAR DADDY FOR THE DAY

Del: lol sure

Margaret: RIGBY COME UP WITH A SCRIPT

Rigby: k

Del: *literally fucks everything up*

CJ: he cool

Margaret: ikr

Del: how you guys doing (ohhhhh dis is da best ass ive felt all my life)

Margaret: good I guess (get your fucking meat sticks off my ass)

Margaret: YOU'RE FUCKING EVERYTHING UP

Del: i know

Margaret: RIGBY DEL IS-

Rigby: fuck u bitch *hangs up*

Mordecai: i like del. hes pretty cool

Margaret: lol yeah

Mordecai: :>

Margaret:(oh my god mordecai's adorable as shit) DEL IS NOT ACTUALLY-

Bar: LOL HERE COMES A FUCKIN KISS CAM TO LITERALLY FUCK EVERYTHING UP. AND NOW LET'S "COINCIDENTALLY" POINT IT TOWARDS MARGARET AND DEL TROLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Margaret: oh god i have to kiss this ass pincher

Del: come on gimme a kiss

Margaret: NO GO FUCK YOURSELF

Audience: shit

CJ: im sorry what the fuck did you just say

Margaret: HE'S NOT ACTUALLY MY BAE I MADE THE WHOLE THING UP SO YOU WOULDN'T KILL ME

CJ: lol that's fine except you fuckin lied to me u bitch.

Margaret: i know...

CJ: YOU HAVE FEELZ FOR MORDECAI DON'T YOU? YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME BUT I'M PUTTING YOU ON THE SPOT SO YOU KINDA HAVE TO

Margaret: OKAY FINE I DO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY

Mordecai: oh fuck no

CJ: fuck u bitch

*storms out*

Margaret: Morde-

Mordecai: NO WAIT DON'T LEAVE ME HERE IN THIS AWKWARD SITUATION

Margaret: fuck