#brought to you by a conversation with an irl friend that i keep thinking about for irl reasons

[bitegore]

still kind of obsessed with the idea that i could have the raver's temperament but only the bad one. like yeah that's true i dont think i have PLUR in me but it's also really really really really really fucking funny

[greengoblinswifey]

Shattered— Nicholas Chavez x Actress!Reader

summary— you’re an actress on the brink of fame and you fall for your co-star Nicholas Chavez. discovering his secret coupled with your unexpected pregnancy changes your entire dynamic.

warnings— cheating, mentions of infertility, mature language, grief and loss, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of unprotected sex, abortion, manipulation.

a/n— kinda long but i’m a slut for angst, also this is all just my imagination and fantasy, it’s not based on nicholas irl <3

Alternative Ending

From the very first time you got an acting role, your manager told you, never engage in relations with your co stars. Looking down at the two positive pregnancy tests on the counter, you wished you had taken heed to her wise words.

You and Nicholas had been thrown into the spotlight together, both relatively new to the fame game. As co-stars, you’d developed a chemistry that felt electric, especially during your lovey-dovey scenes on camera.

As the filming progressed, those on-screen moments started to seep into your off-screen life. You’d find yourselves stealing kisses between takes, getting lost in long conversations about everything from your childhood dreams to your favorite late-night snacks. It was easy to forget that this was just work. You felt like you knew each other inside out.

One evening, after a particularly long day, you were in your trailer, and the laughter just flowed. “I really like this,” Nicholas said, leaning closer, his eyes locked onto yours. “It feels special, you know?”

You nodded, heart racing. ��Yeah, it does. I’m just scared of what happens after this season wraps. Will we still have this?”

Nick brushed a thumb across your cheek, his gaze intense. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise I’ll always be here.”

You couldn’t help it; you leaned in and kissed him, the connection between you two crackling like electricity. Everything felt perfect in that moment, but in the back of your mind, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

What were you missing? Why did he keep his life back home so close to his chest?

As your days turned into nights filled with mind blowing sex, you tried to enjoy every second, but the nagging doubt wouldn’t disappear. You were falling for him, and you wondered if he felt the same way, or if this was just a fun distraction for him.

As filming continued, he made sure to keep the relationship casual, reassuring you that it was all good between you two. “You know I care about you, right?” he’d say between takes, pulling you close, his lips pressing against your forehead, “But a public relationship? It might restrict me from getting certain roles.” You nodded, wanting to be supportive. After all, you understood the pressure of the industry. But deep down, a nagging thought lingered, was there more to it than that?

Still, you brushed off your doubts. You were wrapped up in the excitement of your new life, enjoying every moment of intimacy with Nicholas, nights spent tangled in sheets, whispering sweet nothings, and experiencing a side of Hollywood that felt like a dream. There were moments when he’d use condoms, and others when he’d pull out, but you never worried about getting pregnant. You knew you were infertile, and that fact brought you a strange sense of comfort.

During one of your casual conversations, you mentioned your part-time passion for photography. Nick lit up at the idea, and you quickly arranged for him to meet a photographer friend of yours who worked for magazines. “I’ll be sure to use them,” he said, his tone light. You didn’t think much of it, just a favor for a friend.

Then came the twist, Nick’s character was off the show for a few episodes. He returned to his hometown, and suddenly, the set felt empty without him. You missed him deeply, especially because you’d been feeling under the weather lately. The sickness hung over you, but you knew he needed a break so you didn’t bother him in staying.

As the days went by, his texts became infrequent. You found yourself wondering if something was wrong. Maybe he was just busy? Maybe he was having fun back home? And then, you noticed your period was late. You weren’t scared per se, you remembered the infertility diagnosis, but something felt off.

In a moment of playful distraction, you called your sister. “I’m late,” you joked, half-laughing. “Maybe I should take a pregnancy test?” She encouraged you, laughter spilling over the phone, making it feel lighthearted.

You picked up two tests from the store, ensuring they weren’t expired. When you took the tests, you expected nothing. But to your shock, both tests came back positive.

The laughter faded, replaced by disbelief. You dropped the phone, feeling a wave of panic crash over you. Pregnant? How could this happen? You were still so new in your career, and Nicholas. How would you even tell him? Would he be happy? He had dreams to chase, and now there was a little life to consider.

Your mind raced with possibilities and worries. You knew you needed to talk to Nicholas but the fear of how he’d react was large. You’d built something beautiful, but this was a twist neither of you had planned.

The days dragged on as you tried to process everything. You took a few days to cool off, completely unsure how to proceed. The set was chaotic, your mind was racing while you were trying to act normal. Multiple takes of one scene felt like torture, especially when you had to run off to throw up in between. The directors were patient, but you could sense their frustration growing. You felt guilty, this pregnancy wasn’t their fault, and yet you were struggling to keep it together.

Just two days before Nicholas was set to return, the chaos hit a new level. You received a message from the photographer you had linked Nicholas with. “Check out how cute your co-star looks with his girlfriend!” it read, accompanied by a series of images. You froze as you opened the photos. There he was, Nicholas, beaming in a pregnancy announcement photoshoot with a woman. A woman who was his girlfriend.

Shock coursed through you as confusion and anger collided. Your heart sank, it felt like a punch to the gut. You hadn’t taken any photos with Nicholas, and now you realized why he had been so secretive about his life outside of filming. He was expecting a baby with her. You wanted to scream, shout, break things, or blow up his phone. But instead, you just sat there, staring blankly at the screen, tears streaming down your face.

You ran to the trailer bathroom, clutching your stomach as nausea washed over you. You felt it to your core, the reality of your situation was devastating. He had been playing you both, living a lie, and now here you were, grappling with the knowledge that your pregnancy was based on deception.

Days passed like a blur. You did your best to get through filming, but every time you returned to your trailer, the reality of the life growing inside you became unbearable. You would throw up and clutch your stomach, feeling the weight of what was supposed to be a beautiful moment turned sour by lies.

Finally, the day arrived when Nicholas returned to set. He burst into your trailer, the energy in the room instantly shifting. “I missed you!” he exclaimed, wrapping his arms around you and planting a gentle kiss on your forehead. But you just sat there, staring blankly at him, the pregnancy tests in hand, proof of the life you were now burdened with.

He pulled back, looking at you with concern. “What’s wrong?”

The words caught in your throat. You were ready to confront him, ready to expose the web of lies. But all you could manage was a shaky breath, your heart racing in your chest as you prepared for the storm ahead.

With shaky hands, you thrust the pregnancy tests into Nicholas’s face, your heart pounding. “Here.”

He looked at the tests, confusion swirling in his eyes. “W-what? What the fuck is this. Is this… are you pregnant?” The realization hit him hard, and you could see the panic creeping in.

“Yeah, I am!” you shot back, your voice rising.

“Fucking hell!” he shouted, “my- my fucking career is just taking off, I’m filming a show, this- this wasn’t supposed to get this far.”

“Are you hearing yourself?” You couldn’t believe the things he was saying. “My career is just taking off, I’m filming a show too Nicholas.”

His expression shifted, the initial panic giving way to something more defensive. “I can’t handle this right now! My career is just starting, and I didn’t want to be tied down like this.”

Anger bubbled up inside you, boiling over like a volcano. You could sense the manipulation in his tone, the way he was shifting the blame onto you. “It’s always about you, isn’t it?” you yelled, pushing him away. “You’re just thinking about yourself!”

He reached for you, attempting to pull you back into his embrace, whispering, “It’s going to be okay. We’ll figure this out.” But you shoved him off, your emotions raw and unfiltered.

“Figure this out?” you screamed, your voice echoing in the small trailer. “How can you say that when you’re two-timing? Look at these!” You threw your phone at him, the pregnancy announcement photos landing in his lap. His face twisted with fury.

“Are you serious right now?” he shouted, his anger igniting. “I made a mistake with one of them! It wasn’t supposed to go this far! We’re filming a show together; I can’t just drop everything!”

You stared at him in disbelief. “You’re not the Nicholas I thought I knew. How can you act like this? You’re a fucking two-faced liar, sleeping with two girls and getting both of us pregnant!”

He raked a hand through his hair, his expression a mix of frustration and despair. “I can’t do this. Not now. You need to- you need to get an abortion.”

The words hung heavy in the air, crashing down around you. You looked at him, heart sinking, disbelief coursing through you. “Are you serious? You want me to end this?”

Nicholas looked away, the weight of his own choices crashing down on him. But it was too late, the damage had been done.

Nicholas’s voice was cold and detached. “Yes, I want you to get an abortion. I’ll give you money for it. You need to have it gone by tonight.”

You felt your heart shatter all over again. “How can you refer to our baby as ‘it’?” The bitterness in your voice was undeniable.

He shrugged, pacing the small trailer. “I don’t know what an abortion can do to your body, but you’ll need time to rest. What are you going to tell production?”

You shook your head in disbelief. “I don’t know either! But how can you be so heartless?”

“Listen I can’t deal with this, I have a girlfriend and a baby on the way,” he muttered, lowly.

You couldn't take it anymore. “No! I am your girlfriend! WE have a baby on the way, or at least I thought I was your girlfriend!”

Nicholas stopped pacing, his expression a mixture of guilt and confusion. He ran a hand over his face, clearly overwhelmed.

“This isn’t how it was supposed to be,” he muttered, unsure of what to say next.

Then, as if the weight of the world was pressing down on him, he turned and left the trailer without another word, leaving you alone in the silence.

You hugged yourself tightly, tears streaming down your cheeks. The reality of your situation crashed down on you. You felt utterly lost, your heart aching for the life you once envisioned, now shattered.

That night, you lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, your mind spiraling as you weighed your options. If you kept the baby, everything would change. Your career, just beginning to gain traction, would be stalled indefinitely. You’d be a single mother, left alone to care for a child Nicholas had already written off. And as a man, he’d be fine. Even with two babies on the way, he wouldn’t be the one carrying or caring for them.

On the other hand, if you didn’t keep it, you weren’t even sure if you’d get another chance. The thought tore at you, but you knew what the world would say. They’d call you a homewrecker, maybe even try to destroy your reputation, and all without knowing the truth. It would be you, bearing the weight of his lies.

Finally, with a heavy heart, you booked the appointment for the next morning. You went alone, tears streaming down your face as you went through it, feeling each moment echo in the hollow of your chest. By the time filming started later that day, you were late, your spirit shattered.

Nicholas spotted you as soon as you walked onto set. He approached, his voice low, but his eyes sharp. “Is it done?”

You nodded, feeling a hollow ache that reached all the way down to your bones. You could barely look at him, but when you did, all you felt was disgust. He added, as if it was some minor detail, “Don’t even think of reaching out to my girlfriend.” You couldn’t believe how cold he’d become, as if you were nothing more than a piece of his past.

Then the call for your scene echoed across the set, and you took your place opposite him. It was a romantic moment, a kiss, meant to be tender and full of passion. But when his lips touched yours, it felt like everything was wrong. The kiss was forced, awkward, each movement filled with a desperation neither of you could hide.

When the director called, “Cut,” you pulled away and fled, barely making it to your trailer before the tears began to flow. Just hours ago, you were carrying his child. Now, all that remained was an empty ache and a broken heart. In some twisted way, you felt almost relieved that you no longer had a part of him inside you. And yet, the loss left you feeling like a shell of who you once were.

A few days after the procedure, you felt like you had nothing left of him. Nothing to show for the life you’d once carried, the part of him that had been yours alone. He had been such a huge part of your life just days before, and in mere hours, that illusion had shattered completely.

The filming continued, and soon the news of his pregnancy announcement with his girlfriend went public. You watched as the set was buzzing with congratulatory wishes for him. Everyone beamed at Nicholas, showering him with smiles and words of celebration. Meanwhile, you did your best to hold yourself together, concealing the sadness that now rested in the hollow of your heart.

When the season finally wrapped, the months that followed became a time of rebuilding. You put everything into healing, into rediscovering yourself. By the premiere night, you were the picture of poise and confidence, draped in a red dress that turned heads. When you stepped onto the red carpet, even Nicholas did a double take, momentarily caught off guard by your transformation.

After the red carpet, he approached, offering a hollow smile. “So, how are you feeling? I just need to know, it’s really done, right?” He hesitated, glancing around, and added, “I heard sometimes fetuses survive abortion…”

The audacity of his words made you sick. Anger sparked in you, and you hissed, barely holding back your rage. “Yes, Nicholas. Our baby is dead. Thanks to you.” You were barely a few weeks along so you wouldn’t have considered it a baby but you wanted to say anything to knock him down.

As the night continued, you managed to keep your composure, even when his pregnant girlfriend approached you with a sweet smile, chatting as if you hadn’t unknowingly been fucking her boyfriend raw. All the while, Nicholas hovered nearby, his eyes sharp, ensuring you didn’t let anything slip. You walked away feeling relief. He’d no longer have a hold on you.

The following months brought a fresh start. You threw yourself into work, your career skyrocketing as you landed a massive film role. Meanwhile, Nicholas seemed to fade from the spotlight, mostly at home with his girlfriend, waiting for their baby. Until, finally, karma came for him, an article revealed that the child he thought was his was actually someone else’s, belonging to a rockstar his girlfriend had left him for.

You couldn’t help the satisfaction that spread through you. He’d reaped exactly what he’d sown, and you hadn’t lifted a finger.

The Oscar nomination was the pinnacle of your success, and the night of the awards ceremony arrived. To your surprise, Nicholas showed up, desperate to find you. He cornered you at last, offering a string of apologies and congratulations, asking for another chance now that he was alone. But you saw through him, his desire was only to latch onto your newfound fame. You looked him in the eyes, remembering everything he’d put you through. He had destroyed you, once. But you had risen again, and he was nothing to you now.

Without a word, you turned and walked away, leaving him to watch as you went forward, leaving him in the past for good.

[thewertsearch]

EB: i should keep looking for my dad! […] GG: john, i already found your dad! […] GG: he is with roses mom GG: they are in a castle, having some sort of tea party together GG: they appear to be enjoying each others company! […] EB: oh wow… EB: jade, what if they get married or something???

This one's hard for me to ship in earnest, since we don’t know much about their actual personalities. They’re essentially the platonic ideals of a 1950s mother and father, though, so the ship does 'make sense', on some abstract level.

Hopefully we'll get to see this date later on - and with any luck, it'll allow us to learn a little more about these two.

GG: but really, they make a nice couple and i think it would be great if they got married! EB: yes, i agree. EB: even if it would make it awkward for me to marry rose.

Karkat’s shipping chart is really weighing on this kid’s mind...

GG: who are they to stand between two youngsters in love? EB: whoa, in love??? GG: yes john, two people must be in love in order to get married […] GG: so what do you say john, are you in love with rose?

...and thanks to Jade, we might be about to hear his take on it.

John reacted rather oddly to the subject when Karkat brought it up - it almost seems like he was bemused at the very idea of having a crush on Rose.

C’mon, John! Spill it!

EB: um… GG: and if not, are you prepared to fall in love with her? EB: er. GG: wellllll? :D EB: argh! EB: this line of questioning is making me flustered.

Or don't, I guess. That's fine. :(

See, I really don’t think John feels that way about Rose. We’ve seen plenty of conversations between those two, and I haven't detected even a hint of romantic chemistry. John does seem oddly fixated on the idea, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's into her.

We've never seen any evidence that John has IRL friends, and I get the sense that he's extremely attached to his online ones as a result.

I think the poor guy just really likes his buddies, and his 'not-a-homosexual' brain is programmed to believe that when you really like a girl, it must be 'a crush'.

He doesn't have a crush, but he does love Rose - so when he considers the question, he becomes confused and flustered, unable to parse what he is feeling from what he should be feeling.

EB: btw, you will marry dave. EB: 100% TRUE REALITY.

The jury's still out on these two, though.

I swear I've seen a spark of something between them - but I'd need to see them interact a little to get a proper read on their relationship.

[bleedingcoffee42]

Do you think any of the people professionally involved with Band Of Brothers ever wondered about the exact nature of the relationship between Nixon and Winters? I'm reading the Dick Winters interview transcript where he talks about Nixon for several pages, and it caught my eye how the interviewer calls it a "different kind of relationship", "it's very curious", etc. Or the things Ron Livingston has said (asking Winters to prom, etc.)

GOD YES. I firmly believe that these acting choices that built this fandom came directly from how Dick Winters talk about his best friend. Not only that, but Dick did NOT object to what he saw on screen except for that boy in Paris.

BUT Dick Winters was on a untouchable level where everyone was not only obeying orders but trying to not to tarnish anything or piss him off. It's not until years later anyone admits they liked Speirs more. I think everyone also wanted to respect it, keep the focus on the war story and used it to enhance that bond they were trying to demonstrate.

And most of those interviews were definitely leaving those questions open ended for him to come out and say more. An honestly what he does say, especially in how critical he can be of everyone else, kinda says what he really couldn't or wouldn't. And then there are the photos. LORD. But yeah, I really think there was a "'So, we agree, these two guys were in love right?" conversation between Damian and Ron when they started talking about how they play this thing.

IRL guys...well I've been thinking about how odd it is that Nix has a huge island farm out in California he gets Hester to run, but Dick "My goal in life is to have a farm" Winters is out in Central Pa cutting rocks by hand to build a house, living in a house without water, working like crazy to make it all happen by his own hand when his best friend already got him a job when he came home and has no problem making jobs exclusively for him.

I don't know that Dick ever realized what Nix was to him (That West Virginia hitchhiking story makes it clear Dick knew men swung that way but he's got a fixation on image that I don't know he could ever shake. I think if he did we would have never heard some of these stories because he would be too protective of them.) but I think Nix did. I can't see an 'engraved knife with our initials in it like two lovers carving our names on a tree' being something he wasn't aware of. I think he's more than aware of how people talk and still was by Dick's side when he had no reason to be. I also think Nix had something to do with Ron Speirs being right there when Dick needed an option when Dike locked up, especially after he assisted in getting Peacock shuffled back to the States. I think he took care of him better than he did his own wife, even if it was to shuffle pieces around the chess board to make things fall into place.

One thing is for sure, the men of Easy Co. know how to circle the wagons and protect their own. I don't know if we'll ever know the truth about what Dick said, because in being part of BoB, the actors were also brought into that circle of trust.

[genderkoolaid]

hi! your blog's been encouraging to me as a trans guy, but i've recently felt that i should no longer call myself that/should just "go back to" being a girl, and idk if my train of thought makes any sense...so i just wanted to ask someone w more experience (but feel free to ignore this rant/call me out if im not making sense btw)

so yeah, my cousin's been out to me as a (binary) trans man for a few years now, and in trying to find understanding, i came out to him a few months later, but got a very flat/kinda disgusted reaction. despite my consistent support for him over the years, he has continued to "joke" about my looks/short hair and dismisses any attempts at serious conversations or even just jokes about gender/being a guy too. he also calls me things ive told him makes me uncomfortable (gender-wise) and then acts like it means nothing. he generally brushes me off by telling me to stop trying to compare myself to him, and is either prickly about it or just in-your-face "idgaf what you're talking about and i'm tired of you." it barely hurts me anymore, but ive felt connected to trans-ness for so many years (longer than id even known he was too) and his reaction to this part of me has honestly made me wonder if i'm just making it up/am trying too hard or something,,,like maybe i'm just trying to cover for being a gross 20-somethings woman ?? idk ?

i'm probably just being over-sensitive, and i dont feel it's outright malicious or anything (maybe he just doesn't think/care about it as much as me?), but i have nobody else to ask (no irl friends/people im out to) and i'm currently renting/living with him, which has brought these worries to the forefront. thanks if youve read this far, but please don't feel pressured to respond!

Your cousin sounds like he has a lot of internalized transphobia he's directing at you. Unfortunately there are trans people who try to prop themselves up and make themselves feel more confident in their transness by tearing down others. You are not being over-sensitive, and regardless of what he thinks he's doing, he's actively being cruel to you. You are well within your rights to be hurt by his actions. Living with someone who is constantly being transphobic to you is traumatizing- detransitioning can be a coping method for those who have to constantly defend themselves from transphobic abuse.

If its possible, I would recommend trying to see if there are any queer orgs in your area you could connect with (physically or online). At the least, you may find some people who can give you emotional support, and they also may be able to find you a better living situation. Even if that's not possible right now, keep reminding yourself that his behavior is cruel and you are allowed to be upset about it. You do not need to take any of his opinions on your gender seriously. You are not making up your transness or trying too hard. You are not over-sensitive, you are being hurt.

[9amartt]

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

I wanted to ask and I hope you can answer if it doesn’t take from your time of course جزاك الله خير

What would you say is the right thing to do regarding friends whose aqeedah differs from you. Example, having a friend who is a Hazimi. You have advised them but they have brought what they believe is sufficient proof. But they are not vile in the sense that they have bad manners towards the one who opposes them and even befriend those who don’t share that view point. Or someone who believes that some form the Muslimeen are khawarij. They say things like : “well I believe they are khawarij but that’s okay if you don’t. We can have different political views or stances in the deen”. I have friends like this and because they are not bad mannered or publicly slander others, I’ve never gave it a thought to disassociate. But recently, I’ve been afraid of being a hypocrite. Do I really want to stand with them in front of Allah? Can I truly befriend the one who believes the sincere from amongst us are wrong ? And then also another fear of mine is being extreme and dropping all those who are have shown nothing but good from them and towards me. Even if you don’t have advice, have you had any experience and could you make dua Allah guides me to doing what’s right إن شاء الله

و عليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته

I will say everything from a subjective pov, or more like according to my own logic and experiences (ive had hazimj and madkhali friends too):

1- A Hazimi no matter how he may act with you deep down he believes you are misguided (or even a kaffir). It is the same as befriending a Christian who knows you are a disbeliever in his religion yet befriends you for fun, basically using you because he would never love you as much as a fellow Christian.

2- Those who accuse the muslims you associate with to be Khawarij, those stay away from them and distance yourself, if you really love those ‘khawarij’ you will abandon everyone who slanders them. By khawarij I assume they mean Mujahidin, so if you like to befriend someone who is sitting down and not benefitting the ummah at all, and not just that, but slanders those who DO help the ummah, then that’s up to you. But anyone with a sane mind and heart wouldn’t. We dissociate from those who slander our allies, so what if they slander the allies of ALLAH!!?

It is not politics, its religion, these people are the allies of Allah as we expect them to be, slandering them is punishable by Allah. Also. Sitting in a gathering in which they are slandered and not saying anything makes you sinful too.

my advice is to distance yourself, even the closest people to you if they slander the mujahideen avoid them.

3- Regarding the hypocrisy part, in sha Allah you are not a hypocrite, but if you keep associating with those people you think are your friends you will soon certainly become one (like them). So stay away from these people. For they will be the first ones to demotivate you from taking steps that benefit you in your akhirah. I am sure you feel like your heart is dying every time you sit with them. These people will slowly darken your heart until you become indifferent like them, and abandon your goals and aspirations, which should be high for you as a muwahhid/a.

4: Don’t be extreme or abandon everyone at once, take it all step to step (and wallahi I am talking from experience in regards to this), leave your bad friends one after the other in subtle ways , we can say “let the spark die” which is basically being everyday less and less engaging with them until they get tired and leave you. And then don’t feel bad, because you are doing this for yourself, after this, start slowly incorporating good friends, replacing your old ones. If you struggle to make friends irl try on social media. Also very important: once the spark with your old friends dies, remove them from your social media. Don’t let them see your moves or find a topic to converse about with you.

You may be alone for a while, so was I for a year or so after I abandoned all my bad friends, but i would make dua to Allah to bless me with righteous friends always. And Allah did! Wallahi now I have friends i would have never imagined to get and they have helped me to improve in so many aspects and helped me arrive to places i would never imagine arriving to. Alhamdulillah.

To summarise. Everyone who doesn’t respect the allies of Allah does not deserve your respect. Don’t sit with the people of Bidah. Everyone who believes you are misguided has no business being your friend, if they don’t have walaa and baraa to their own beliefs then you have them….

And… why would you befriend evil people when there’s thousands of good ones? You can easily pick and chose what best suits your personality (idk if you are a brother or a sister but either way there’s way too many brothers and sisters Alhamdulillah and the dawah keeps spreading and the numbers keep increasing Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah), so hop on social media if you feel lonely, start slowly making friends there, and let things flow without overthinking or forgetting Dua (dua dua dua verrrry important!!!) Don’t force friendships.

I hope this helps!!!

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

What are some characters you'll like to see interact more that hasn't done so much in the series?

Oooo ok this is tricky and the second I post this I'll probably think of more!

I listed a few duos I'd like to see explored more a while back! I'm a bit lazy to go back and link to it now but I remember wanting to see more Dazai and Kyouka, Fukuzawa with young Yosano after she'd just been brought to the Agency, Aya and Akutagawa, and my favourite joke duo, Odasaku and Adam. Here's a few others I thought of:

Gin and Ryuunosuke: Please let them interact in canon. Please. They are literally siblings.

Margaret and literally anyone: Please. She has such an interesting set up. Where are we going with her? Can we elaborate on her situation? Her story? I just want her to interact with characters beside Nathaniel. I'd love to see her encounter Akutagawa again actually... could be really interesting.

Wells and literally anyone: Bring her back... I miss her... :'(

Mushitarou and Ango: ...me and the three other mushiango shippers crying for more of them... (but really I just think they're an interesting duo. *slaps both of them* these two can fit so much grief and regret)

Aya and Jouno: I'd like them to meet up again. I just think they could have a neat dynamic, with Jouno having faith in her without needing to know of her capabilities, simply because he knows she (and any civilian) would be underestimated. Also, both with the whole "justice as a choice" thing. Idk. Something there.

Chuuya and Atsushi: PLEASE. I need to see it so bad. Why have they not directly interacted yet? It seems intentional to me.

Naomi and Dazai: We get hints that Dazai actually teaches Naomi tricks and strategy advice. I'd like to actually see it!

Mori and Fukuchi: They were both at Tokoyami Island during the war! They may have actually met before this!!! I hope we elaborate on this soon. ...also I want both Fukuzawa's exes to meet and for there to be drama because it's funny to me. Bonus points if Mori shows up while Fukuzawa is still bleeding out on the ground. Old man yaoi showdown... (I am kidding :P)

Teruko and Natsume: These two authors had a real connection! Teruko was a student of his. I'd love if they pulled that into the series somehow!

Natsume and Agatha: OKAY, so this is based off irl Natsume's real exchange to Britain he went on. He hated it there lol. That's why I'm hoping for interactions between these two… and I hope they cannot stand each other. Maybe something happened between Natsume and the Order of the Clock Tower and they parted on bad terms. They meet again and the two are just all smiles as Agatha pours tea and Natsume rests his hands on his cane and they think of how much they wish they could laser beam the other to death. Idk. I like the concept tbh.

And these are just silly and self-indulgent:

Sigma and Tsujimura: if Sigma turns out to actually be Ian Fleming, I demand they meet and have a Bond-esque secret agent adventure.

Katai, Kunikida, and Higuchi: my dream crack trio that definitely makes no sense but I can't get it out of my head. I can't explain it ok I just think it's funny if Katai, after the Gin debacle, ends up with two overworked blond friends who check in to make sure that he is still alive under his futon. I need to emphasize though that Higuchi is far from her usual polite or professional and is just so done with Katai all the time. Katai still can't manage to make proper eye contact with her or have a full conversation. Nobody understands how they are keeping in touch or why. Also important you know that Kunikida and Higuchi have this weird frenemies dynamic where they are rightfully suspicious of each other for being on opposite sides but then feel like. A sharp pang of sympathy in their chests every time they hear about the crap the other has to deal with. They both shit-talk Dazai and can rant for hours. Katai is left standing there like 😥. It's basically just the "two teenaged boys" post, where Kunikida is the (comparatively) gentle "oh did you just wake up", Higuchi is the "OPEN UP FUCKNUGGET" and Katai is the guy who answers the door past noon still in his blanket. I know it makes no sense. Let me have this.

[mcytblr-archive]

Early MCYTblr Interviews: kermiekermie

today's interviewee is @kermiekermie, who ran "Friend or Host", was a part of the "Block Men Simps" group chat, and has generally been an active member of MCYTblr for a long time! below is a transcript of the questions and answers.

Q: What was your general experience in MCYTblr? Does anything stand out to you immediately?

A: I think my general experience on mcytblr was pretty positive compared to some peoples. The one thing that really stands out is how young I was- i was 11 when i joined mcytblr in early-mid 2020. That didnt really change the way people treated me aside from the occasional teasing and babying, but I did make it a point to say I didn't want to be treated differently. Mcytblr was not my first time in a fandom space and I knew how to avoid creeps already so I never really had any truly negative experiences, honestly the only annoying things that happened were being banned from discords and blocked by people due to my age (which was completely understandable). The biggest memory I have of mcytblr is of course the Block Men Simps group chat, and the original members of the group chat are really the only tumblr mutuals I still keep up with (snail actually has my snapchat!) I still kind of view them as a sort of family, and they were there for me in what I consider an extremely low point of my life and really helped me take my mind off things. During quarantine, I didnt have any of my irls numbers or socials and my mom had just been diagnosed with breast cancer, so I quite literally NEVER left the house and tumblr was really the only social interaction I got for a solid year. And while that definitely impacted my social development (i still cant start a conversation with someone irl without feeling nauseous and shaky) i'm very grateful I had people to talk to throughout that.

Q: I understand that you were the one who set up "Friend or Host". What was the process of organizing a fandom event like that like?

A: Friend or host . god. Like I said, I was 11-12 throughout the majority of my time on mcytblr, and I had ZERO experience organizing anything and I had very little help from anyone else. I tried to make it work the best I could and got creative, but overall I don't think it was a very big success. Funnily enough, not everyone who participated in FOH knew my age and one of the winners actually blocked me afterwards they found out, which I still giggle about today.

Q: How did Friend or Host go?

A: I don't think FOH necessarily went bad, but if I had a little more help and better organization skills and planned it out further ahead of time, I think it would've gone better. It was still fun and I had a good time either way, but I can admit it was a little messy.

Q: What major events in the fandom do you remember? (Either from the MCYTers themselves or fandom-specific!)

A: Honestly, my memory of my time in the wider mcytblr community isnt all that great and I tend to get timelines a little messed up, but i DO remember being there for the creation of the original dreamceler copypasta. In the BMS group chat we were having our normal conversation and someone oncest got brought up at the same time as dream somehow, and thus Ginger wrote the extremely cursed dreamceler copypasta. This eventually evolved into an entire universe (the dreamceler cinematic universe?) with various different copypastas that eventually had to be archived because of how out of hand it got. Sometimes I still see the copypastas floating around and it kind of freaks me out every time. I also have a veryyyy vivid memory of the time I made the 2020 mcytblr election discord read OmegaNotFound on wattpad (do NOT research. for your own safety) and it was really amusing seeing everyones reactions.

Q: Do you remember any of the "kinnie" blogs?

A: oh MY the kinnie blogs!! i actually have dms with a couple of them plotting little jokes and such and I got involved with them quite often!! i actually ran a justaminx one for a couple days (yikes) and it wasnt really that believeable looking back. me and ginger as well as a couple other mooties loved spamming the ask boxes of them with piss jokes and such, and I feel like we played a pretty big role in how widespread and popular kinnie blogs became.

Q: What was the "Kroger Anon"?

A: oh my dearest kroger anon how I miss you…. I still dont know who the kroger anon actually WAS, but they would send rainbow colored advertising messages about Kroger to various mcytblr blogs at random intervals. Funny thing is, I dont live near any krogers and have never been to one in my life, but the anon messages kinda made me want to go. I miss kroger anon…. kroger anon if youre reading this come home please..

Q: What were common in-jokes in the fandom of that time? (Copypastas, headcanons, rumors, etc)

A: Common in-jokes is a hard one!! like i said earlier, my memory of my time in mcytblr isnt all that great or extensive and I could probably better answer this if I went through my archive but alas, I do not have the patience for that. Obviously we had the good ole tapeworm and pregnancy posts, dreamceler, and various other cursed copypastas and memes. One inside joke between the block men simps gc was "thinkign 👽" which came from a typo snail made that just kind of caught on and we would use every once in a while to giggle at. Other than that, I can't really think of any specific inside jokes.

Q: Is there anything else you remember or would like to talk about?

A: Something I really want to talk about is how much lurking I did!! on the outside I was definitely a normal parasocial mcytblr blog but I lurked on pretty much every corner of the fandom you could really think of. Obviously I have a ton of critblr and other controversial mutuals but I never really openly interacted with that side of mcytblr since it was pretty heavily debated and I am nothing if not conflict avoidant. I also did quite a bit of truthing that no one ever really mentioned which I guess I sort of appreciate. I think being in a fandom that involved actual real people ar that age for that long kind of screwed with me, and ive never really been able to be in a fandom for a piece of actual fiction because theyve just never gotten my interest in the same way, I guess. Even now, i was in grouptwt for quite a while (tgc podcast) and now im active on kpoptwt, which again, both of those fandoms are for actual real people. I dont think its the parasocial aspect either, ive never been super parasocial and have never had a problem criticizing the content creators I watch. Im really grateful for all the people I met on mcytblr, but I think the actual dream smp and the way I engaged with content overall negatively impacted how I interact with things now.

[greensagephase]

Alondra, thank you for always supporting me through my college journey this last year!! I can’t believe that I’m graduating, and to be honest there’s been a lot of crying I’ve been doing about it (maybe happy tears?!) 😭 but it means so much to me that through it all, you have been there to support me whenever I brought it up in our conversations! ❤️❤️ After this I’ll finally have the time to truly catch up on everything I missed and talk to you more too!! I’m so excited to finally put my energy back into NC and drawing (I’m considering making my response to part 13 a post because I’m afraid it will go over the word count in messages 😭) AND I DID JUST SEE YOU POST PART 14 SO I KNOW WHAT I’M READING AFTER GRADUATING!!! and I did see your other message on Monday and will get to that too soon!! It made my day seeing that, I can’t describe how happy I get seeing a notification from you 🥹 I’m currently (very last minute) decorating my grad cap before I wake up early for commencement (omg definitely feeling the nerves). But again, Alondra, you’re just the sweetest moot and person I’ve ever talked to and your support means so much (I keep saying it but it’s true!!) and if you ever need anything too, I’m here to talk and listen, friend!! I hope you’ve been having a great start to the month and will talk back soon. Sending you the best vibes and warmest hug!! I hope you’re doing well, friend!! 🥹❤️✨❤️

Here’s a little sketch I made to thank you (more to come for NC!! Literally a backlog of sketches!! HIS SMILE FROM PART 13??!! That’s for another post 🤭) and my cap that decorating (there’s butterflies I’m including too!) but I decided that I’m adding the pics of Miguel on for photos afterwards- but I’ll send you some more photos or maybe even post my finished cap after commencement is over!

@sunsetdoodler Of course, friend!!!!! 🥹🫶🏼❤️ I said it already but I'm so so HAPPY and PROUD OF YOU!!!!! I want to wish you another BIG CONGRATULATIONS FOR GRADUATING!!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳 YOU DID IT, FRIEND!!!!!! Also, the tears are normal, I think, and I believe they're most definitely happy ones!! I cried, too!! It's just a lot of emotions once you reach the day. At some point during the semester you're like, "can this be over already?? 😭😭" but at the same time you're wishing it's not, and then you get to the day and it feels surreal!!!! I hope your day went smoothly and that you spent it with your family and friends!!!!! I'm so excited to see you more active on here and for us to talk again, I've def missed you but as I mentioned in my ask, I was happy you made the decision to focus on your schooling!!!!

I'm also so excited to see fan art from you and also to read your post on part 13, and even more so since you said you had to move it to a word doc!!! I'm ready to read your thoughts on it fr!!!!

Also, YESSS!!! Finally posted part 14 of NC and I can't wait to read your thoughts on it as well, hehe 😌 I think you're going to like it!! And aww, I'm touched my notifications make you happy!!! It's the same for me!! Seeing your name pop up always brightens my day!! ALSO, I LOVE YOUR CAP!!! The flowers are so LOVELY and I love the colors you chose!!!! 💜🤍 And then you added butterflies??!?! You're making me wish I had the opportunity to decorate mine but my school didn't allow us ! 😭I bet the final look turned out so lovely and cute!!! I also love that you had some amazing help from Miguel, he was trying to help you since it was last minute and probably making sure you had space for his photos later on!! But AHHH you're gonna make me cry!! You're so sweet, thank you!!!!! 🫶🏼❤️🥺 The same goes to you, my friend!!! You're one of the sweetest people I've interacted with, even more than some irl people, so thank you for always being so kind and sweet!! If you ever need to talk about anything, I'm here for you as well!!!! I hope you're having a great day so far, and that you have a wonderful weekend, friend!!! Please rest and take your time to unwind after so much going on!! You deserve it!!! Sending you a big warm hug and the best wishes and luck as always!!!! And one more time, CONGRATS, FRIEND!!!!!❤️✨❤️

ALSO THE SKETCH!!!!!! I'M PRINTING THAT WHEN I GET A NEW PRINTER, I SWEAR (it stopped working like a week ago 😭)!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FRIEND - I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!!!! Fun little story, I was at a parking lot waiting for one of my siblings and was drawing the sketch I sent you when your notification arrived and let me tell you - I screamed when I saw the sketch!!!! IT MADE MY DAY SO MUCH BETTER, SO THANK YOU!!!!! ❤️😭 And again, I can't wait to see all the art you post once you get time!!! I'm so so excited to see it!!!

[figula]

ok im gonna just talk about it anyway :D

he announced earlier that next year he's gonna push me more, and i was like ? wat? why? and he was like i think we're both undersocialised atm and i was quite annoyed by this and also a bit hurt bc i feel like that's more untrue in the past 6 months thn it's been sice the pandemic (and maybe before - bc most of our friends now are people from discord we ended up becoming irl friends with)

maybe *you* feel undersocialised ben but *i* actually find basically all social activities something to endure rather than enjoy

also don't forget that ana is my soulmate and I feel very happy just hanging out with them and Ben

i feel like he has still this shark feeling of gotta keep moving or ill die :) like he is doing much better than he was from sept-nov but yeah i think he doesnt need to make that an Us problem lol like i dont share that feeling at all lol like if you want to do more things than i do you can do some stuff separately, and some stuff with me! as is normal!

i did feel quite frustratedand annoyed with the way he brought it up , which he did apologise for later bc he agreed we're doing the right things etc and he didnt really mean he wants to push me MORE just that he doesnt want to BACKSLIDE. which is fine i guess but it was a bit annoying to hear anyway bc i am not planningon going intoi a big isolationist hole

like the implication that next year some REAL change is gonna happen and totally ignoring the fact that we got married a few months ago (objectively the biggest social event either of us have ever done), that we hung out with Boops and yuka at an art installation, that we've had clare over a bunch of times, that we've had boops over, that he's done a few irl dnd sessions w/ lucas clare boops, that we've been ice skating a few times, that we've done escape rooms together, that we've done some family trips, we did that ceramics class, we've done a LOT of pokemon walks - all of this in teh past 2 or 3 months apart from the wedding - im just like god damn how much stuff do i have to do to satisfy you lol like i simply dont find the same kind of drive to Do Things that he has and I have still done all this shit REGARDLESS

i was also annoyed i think by the implication that he's the one who needs to push me when actually half of the above shit was my idea!!! the ice skating was me! the wedding was my idea! the escape rooms were my idea! i was the one who restarted teh pokemon go! i was the one who created the server in the first place, where he found his friends!!!! these are all my friends i let him share!!! i was the one who arranged the halloween party w/ boops and clare literally bc he was so sad i wanted to do something nice for him

i do read him charitably - as i legit think is important to do in all relationships with someone you like and respect on a very basic level lol - and i dont think he meant to suggest that im massively inadequate lmfao (i mean - i know he didnt) and he apologised for coming in too hard about stuff, and i know he's traumatised by covid (who isnt?) and is terrified of going back into that tiny world where it was just us and we didnt see anyone else for 2y. but that's not on the cards anyway so i felt a bit wrongfooted by the whole talk

also i was so cross i went mute and under my blankets until he sort of to put it bluntly fucked me back into communication lmfao !! me hissing "im cross with you" while he was actively fucking me </3 looool (this is 100%% fine by the way, just for the record, i was way less annopyed by the sex than the conversation, the sex cheered me up even and it was the right move)

anyway whatever. i think we're actually on the same page in terms of not wanting a particularly quiet 2024 (we're planning on going to Iceland in the winter and also there will be a chess meetup abroad somewhere) so we move. i was just annoyed by how he framed it but he did apologise anyway and i know he didnt really mean anything!! but it was annoying lol like omg I try sooo hard. so fucking hard!!!

ETA: fucking. also. he wasn't even making ANY comment on this stuff and he's fully been my biggest cheerleader lol but I've also been so busy work-wise (my "chess career" is reaching new heights after all) and taking care of him these past few months and doing my doll job as well I think I just want someone to be like omg cham you are actually soooo impressive I'm soooo obsessed with you !!! don't worry you don't need to find anything else inside you you are doing sooooo well!!! (Ben is actually usually like this but I want him to say it now as well) like I've been working on job stuff AS WELL AS doing loads more shit with him lately and I feel like I should get extra credit for that

all this to say that this would be a good time to send me a message with how great you think i am. lol

[cjbolan]

 Just finished Chapter 1 of Emily Windsnap and the Tides of Time. My thoughts so far...

I feel you, Emily. I’m sad too that your adventures are probably over.

Liz Kessler throws MAJOR shade at teachers XD. Perhaps she’s writing from personal experience. I literally laughed at some of the descriptions of Emily’s teacher. Particularly this line:

“’Succinctly as always, Aiden,’ Mrs. Porter said, in that special sarcastic way that teachers must learn at college, as they all do it.”

As a former student teacher, I can confirm she’s absolutely right.

This opening is like a clever inverse version of the first book’s opening. Both open with Emily at home in Brightport having a conversation with her mom, before going to school.Except where the first book opened with them having an argument, this last book opens with them being much friendlier with each other. Shows how far their relationship has come. I love that!

There’s also shades of Book 3 that I liked. It again opens with Emily going to school, and Emily afraid of a relationship ending. In Book 3 it was her parents’ marriage, here it’s her renewed friendship with Mandy. I do like the idea that for once, maybe it’s Emily’s own fault that she feels alone, for not being a good listener to her friend. 

I love the emphasis that being yourself is much easier said than done. IRL people say all the time that they don’t care what people think or that they’ll do whatever they want, then quickly give up doing exactly that. This isn’t always a bad thing, and heavily dependent on your situation. It makes perfect sense in Emily’s case where she now has 0 friends in school and possible enemies.  (SIDE NOTE: I do relate hard to Emily in this case. At her age, for a time I had only 1 real friend. We’re still friends now ^_^. )

YAAAAAY MORE RETCONNING *sarcasm*. Seems like Emily is attending only human school. What happened to her splitting her time between human and mermaid school? Wasn’t her school situation a huge looming conflict for about half the series? It was a huge point of conflict for her parents who fought each other about where she should spend more time, to the point it made Emily fear they would split up. If she were still attending Shiprock School, she probably  wouldn’t miss the sea and Shona so much because she could still enjoy those every day. I know Emily's feeling lonely because of Aaron and Mandy, but still...either Emily’s being overdramatic, or she really did quit mermaid school for some reason.

Jake again raises so many questions. We know he eats human food, so can all merpeople eat human food? Or is Jake the only one because he’s lived with humans and got used to it? What do you think his first time tasting human food would’ve been like? That breakfast table is way above water level so... does her ever eat with his family?  It’d be really sad if he couldn’t. Does he have a floating pool table? Does he eat off the floor? Would his family ever eat off the floor with him? Is there any way he could have a wheelchair or kiddie pool for him at the table?  For a mixed human-merperson family who actively brought together the two species, how on earth would they host both species in a place designed by and for humans only? Trap door aside, the merpeople who do visit are just trapped in that tiny bit of water, and the humans make 0 attempt to bring their activities closer to the water for merpeople to join them. And Jake is often described looking upward at people in that boat...he must have the worst neck pain ever. He deserves a nice neck pillow. Or maybe a neck massage XD.

But seriously, this is one reason Jake is one of my favorite characters. He  raises so many fascinating questions about the worldbuilding.

Funny I have a rock that looks just like Emily’s! Minus 2 stripes...

Well, gonna keep on reading!

[lokisgoodgirl]

It strikes me that, given our respective heritages, we could potentially bond over use of the c-word (I had it written out in full but I decided our North American friends might find it offensive).

My feelings: I fucking love it; I really missed being able to say it while I lived in Canada; I don't use it all the time, but honestly, when you need it, you need it. I can't understand why more people don't use it.

Related: what's Loki's swearing vocab like? We know he enjoys the F-word when he's feeling hot... But does he swear day-to-day? Personally I think generally not... Which is why it's a bit hot when he does it in the bedroom (or the kitchen, or the pool...).

(For context, I'm currently listening to a Guilty Feminist podcast about the London Vagina museum...)

YES YES YES!!! I want to answer this before I forget but this provided some excellent conversation for us over al fresco lunch. Thank you for sharing this 🤣

First - I don't tend to use the word much irl myself outside of being super pissed off or dirty talk. I do find it a bit jarring. It's a high day and holy day type of swear for me if it gets brought out during daylight hours 🤣

So RE Loki... @lokischambermaid and I agree with you, we don't think he would swear much outside the bedroom. 🕯️

We feel Loki's use of language is tied to control. He can control a situation with his words - make or break spirits with them. When he gets angry, he becomes more verbose and flamboyant in his creative insults - his words become more complex, not reduced to simple swears. In this context, he sees swearing as a mark of defeat. Like his opponent can't keep up with his quick tongue and lightening wit.

During sex, though? It's not a linguistical battleground (outside of the HF universe😆) and Loki's filthy curses, including c*nt - are testement to that. His willingness to drop his shield of eloquence and let loose is reflective of being comfortable, and feeling confident in the sexual space. As well he should.

xx

[gwyns]

tbh with you after finishing acosf and the bonus chapter for the first time, all I knew was I didn't want Elain and Azriel to end up together. I wasn't remotely passionate about Gwynriel and Elucien but I definitely knew E/riel isn't going to happen.

Mainly bc through out the whole series even if 3.5 books of it was from Feyre's pov and first person I didn't felt any spark between them. between Nesta and Cassian? NO DOUBT I new they were mates. as casual reader you can feel they're mate material. but even that rescuing scene everyone keep talking about that it's the main reason they're going to end up together fell falt for me!! bc Lucien wasn't there and I'm sure if he was... no one could've stopped him.

like acosf was the last nail in their coffin! sjm could've made me believe that they're endgame specially when it's 3rd person but she didn't even try lmao. but still I was like well... she made me like Nesta! she made me fell in love with her and understand her in a way it felt personal. she made me fall in love with Nessian and Feysand so she can definitely write E/riel that I might change my mind about them... but I was unsure and I was trying to convince myself lol (the way I kept telling myself that it's gonna be okay lmao)

but then I read the bc and it was over... I was done! the way Azriel thought about Elain made me cringe multiple times. the way Elain felt so small in that scene made me uncomfortable and the way he questioned Cauldron as he has some claim on her? oh all I could see was red!!! so that's why I was sure E/riel won't happen and even if it does I was done with this series I'm not even kidding...

so yes this was my experience with the book! and I brought this up bc I saw one of the E/riels say that if they didn't join the fandom they would've known people shipped Az and Gwyn and their irl friends also didn't know that...

honey sorry to break it to you but you need to raise you standards. bc if you didn't notice how toxic that interaction was... I feel sorry for you</3

e/riel has always felt boring to me. like yeah they have some cute moments but where are the moments that make me grin, stop reading and squeal for a second because the chemistry is making me go insane? sjm knows how to write this very well so her not including it is a choice she made and it's a very telling choice

like even sjm ships i don't particularly care for have these moments, i'm not a huge manorian fan but that "i'll bleed whatever color you want me to" line is SO. GOOD. like it stops me in my tracks everytime i remember it exists. tell me, does e/riel have even one comparable line together? i can't think of any that aren't said by other characters. all the conversations they've shared (and that's not a lot btw) don't have anything with that kinda spark in it

that's something i don't see people bring up much... lucien wasn't present when elain was kidnapped. feyre wouldn't need to find a volunteer if he were there because you can bet your ass he'd do anything to help elain and feyre if we're being honest. the fact that az had to be goaded into even helping is hilarious, the only reason that man went was because nesta bruised his ego and he wanted to prove he was good enough to do it. that and, as i've seen others point out recently, it was somewhat of a culmination of feyre's arc with him. he taught her to fly therefore he was there when she first flew. that makes much more sense narratively than whatever garbage e/riels throw around

az has a lot to make up for in my opinion. his behavior in that chapter was... gross, to say the least. i was annoyed with him beforehand because of that side of the fandom, but his chapter was the first time i truly felt disappointed. it was there somewhat when he attacked eris at the high lord's meeting and made mor so uncomfortable but... idk his chapter was on another level. i felt so disgusting reading his parts with elain and rhys. his parts with gwyn tho? brought out the best in him and made me remember why i liked him so much in the first place. sjm wrote that chapter very deliberately and those who refuse to see it are just upset their predictions aren't happening

it's funny they say that when it's quite literally the opposite. my best friend who i've mentioned before is a very casual fan, didn't even see how elain and az could be shipped because in her words, "elain and lucien are mates". she's read a total of two and a half sjm books and already knows her formula lol

[ashadowofburnedoutstardust]

this is random fun for me question but is your star sign a leo

because if it is.... it explains alot...

if you are a cancer, leo, or virgo... it explains so much... because to live in this world where things someone says or does

regardless

your ego is OUTSTANDING !!!!!.. truly.... it needs to be in the hall of fame next to Liberace, and Elizabeth taylor.

IMAGINE to think words someone says correlates to an obscure .... that no one cares about much less Chris... he planned to scam you... you?......

who are you? you think you are more powerful than you are but remember that is for you... people do not live in that world... .... go outside... touch some grass and just cause capt and lovin like you now.. does not discredit you guys were once against each other and they once considered you fucking psychotic.... they wont admit it cause they need all the allies they can get .... but dont think we forgot... before they ran this scam.... you were osctrized for a reason... dont fall back into old habits now ... even the scammers will ditch you again...

Hello anon

Nope not a Cancer like 🐟, a Leo or a Virgo, you apparently don't have the "gift" for that sort of thing so maybe attempt a different hobby

You seem to have mistaken me for someone who continues to give a hoot about what other people on the internet thinks of them, those people burned their bridges with me, not the other way around

I got death threats and so did my kid, I'm here for revenge, and I don't care about the consequences

If you truly give too much of a crap about what people on the internet think of you, maybe you should take a page out of Christophers book and get off of it

Christopher scamming me? Everything about this debacle leads back to him in some way, that's what scares me

Is some of what the scammers said true? Is it someone trying to set him up for something by spreading rumours? Only those people know for sure, I can only speculate based on what I know

At some point around this time last year someone pointed out that the tone of the threads had changed, so I went back and read them, and they were right, it was at this point that I truly committed to tracking things to the point of obsession because something seemed really off to me

Ego, yes let's discuss ego and the way it can affect you when you are somehow associated with someone famous

I'm also glad you brought up psychotic, let's segue

Y'all remember Garbagexo? The font that showed up on the LSA threads claiming to be a friend of a friend of Scotts? Showed text messages that were apparently about what was coming next in the PR schedule, "worked" the TGM premiere, claims to be in the industry,

Weirdly after I texted a number given to me by sidewaysspeace who also claims to have met Garbagexo IRL my phone was remotely locked, much like the scammers tried to do to this one

After I was ousted from LSA I was sent this screenshot, she tried to claim I had gone overseas and was physically stalking the man, I've never been to the states, and I've never met him, I was also blamed for all of the leaks

Gaslight-Manipulate-Scam-Threaten-discredit

Sounds familiar

Here's some of what they sent me on LSA as proof they had an in around the TGM premiere in LA as well as the reference to the story with Jessica Campos posted the day after they told us about Scott attending

And here's what she sent me after everyone went after me

Keep in mind she mentions Sally in those initial conversations so I have no idea if that is also the same Sally that she also claimed to be messaging on IG later on who was also part of the gossip groups and had gotten a selfie with him in London at the TGM premiere on his Birthday

At some point (I don't feel like looking for it because it's on my external HD) they sent me a screenshot of sending a bunch of messages to Scott via the TextMe app, screenshots of the stuff posted to LSA, that they also admitted to making flyers out of that they then spread around the Netflix office in LA, there are a few other fonts also aware of this from being in one of the groups

They were also the "source" for the messages to the Yoga studio in Massachusetts, after they refused to show me the pic they had apparently obtained they really started getting abusive to me in the discord chat via voice chat messages, so I do at least have a sample of their voice, CaptRegina reckons they sound southern

Keep in mind Captregina said that after she had read through the discord chat herself and seen what they had done to me

💜🪽🌟

[goldenpinof]

thank you for sharing your experience!! it's so nice that he takes the effort to tweak the script a bit depending on where he is, despite some jokes not landing lmao but thank you for the effort dan. i do feel he thrives off the energy of the crowd so he loves it when the audience engages and reacts a lot (in parts that need that reaction). can't wait to see how it'll be different in berlin. also it's sweet that aside from meeting him a big part of why people go to wad is to see friends and the community and being in the same space enjoying the same thing and reacting with and to dan. and i think dan loves seeing that as well. i love living vicariously through you guys as someone who lives in a country that dan won't tour in :( but it's nice to read different experiences and how dan is such a sweetheart in meet and greets and how he really enjoys performing.

i'm so sorry you can't go :( it's a great experience!

i hope Dan understands what kind of people he gathered around himself 😂 we share some opinions and we're willing to listen to each other. yesterday that was such a pleasantly unexpected discovery. you know it's easier to discuss some things online than irl, like political and social systems, sexuality and etc, but we were discussing it after the show and it felt safe to do so. and these conversations will stay with some people for a long time. it's kinda beautiful, we're in the same boat and Dan and Phil are just slightly directing us by planting seeds of major topics in your heads. and then we're free to make research, share our experience and help one another understand something if needed. even when someone leaves the phandom they don't leave it empty-headed. you can obviously outgrow that kind of relationship and find something similar in real life, so you don't need some British white guys to guide your ways. but i bet they still remember what kind of messages those two were trying to convey to them and the world in general. i'm not saying that dnp's opinions and views are always 100% right. hell nah! but sometimes starting a conversation is more important than arguing your rightness. we can joke about it for as long as we want but they really raised us in a way. just like school and your neighbourhood is raising you as well, directly or indirectly.

i think Dan underestimates his power and influence. or likes to think that he's not as powerful as he actually is because then the damage is lesser. he's scared of being wrong and it prevents him from doing the right things immediately. Ukraine was a good example of it, because even if he waited he still fucked up with that tweet. so i get where the fear is coming from and each mistake bites his ass. he is more careful with it now but he still likes to think that he can't do anything. (i'm bringing up Ukraine because he brought it up yesterday. and i'm glad that he keeps doing it. and by doing it he contradicts himself because talking about this war is doing something. it's not over, missiles are falling on cities and killing people, Ukraine loses its towns, gets some towns back – it's happening every day. i just hope that at least 1 person goes home after Dan's show, opens google, updates themselves on the war and shares it within their circle. forgetting is a scary thing, it's like erasing history, only now we're erasing the present).

anyway, can't wait to compare it to Berlin.

[zealsoughtsequesterustanxiedemon]

Invasions are an interesting part of Fromsoft games. It's a part of the game I p much don't interact with because I'm not a big fan of PVP games (things almost always feel unfair and/or I just get mad). When I was first playing DS1 I used a humanity, got ganked by a higher level, much more skilled player. That made me go "This is a limited resource, AND it's going to add an element of chaos that's just going to kill me when I'm trying to learn the game?" and so I never used them outside of leveling bonfires, getting invaded by npcs, and the fair lady of course.

And that's generally how I've treated these items throughout all of these games (except when I actually wanted to get invaded by npcs and such). The cost to using an ember, humanity, etc was that you could be invaded and most likely die so only save them for when you know you need them. Although I didn't use that aspect of the game, I liked that I could choose to opt-out of it.

Eventually I had a funny conversation with an IRL friend who is not a big fan of souls games (gets too frustrated with the gameplay loop) and it eventually came up that he only played offline. I asked why and he said it was so that he didn't get invaded. I brought up to him that invasions were opt-in and he was confused. We clarified our confusion and I found out he considered the buffs from humanity the baseline for the game and so losing it to him was being punished into making his character worse (hence why he went offline). That opinion was so baffling to me.

Cut to today. I'm still p much not using those items. (I've got like 77 Rune Arcs in my inventory). Honestly, Elden Ring's system for it is more disappointing. They have this big system of great runes, but you have to go out of your way a decent amount to even unlock them. They're somehow separated from PVP (you can only get invaded by playing co-op) but also the main way to consistently get them is locked behind PVP.

I've heard mixed things about invasions. I think it's a hard thing to balance because invaders always kind of have to be disadvantaged in some way in order for the system to work. Just, on average, the host is often going to be disadvantaged skill and knowledge-wise to the invader (not to mention that you also have to fight mobs on top of that) and as a game-designer you want your players average progression to be positive (y'know so they keep playing). Elden Ring may be a little too balanced towards the host party in some respects. Iunno, it's not something I'm super familiar with as I p much play the game single player, but with an in-game message board (lord I love messages in souls games).