#brought this idea from myself in 2014

[alexalexinii]

Manolo Sanchez as La Muerte

[secretlywritingstories]

Ten years passes faster than you realise. I started watching YouTube properly from summer of 2013 and one of the very first YouTubers I found was Connor Franta. Then 1,5 years later, he came out as gay. That's exactly ten years ago today.

He made a video to remark on that decade past where he talked about how he hardly recognised himself in his old videos. And emphasised how much he appreciated being gay because of the perspective that it gives him.

Connor was arguably my first YouTuber "crush" because I thought that he was cute and funny and I found his videos drawing me in. He sparked my interest for the whole vlogger thing, which lead me to following a whole hoard of vloggers pretty consistently from 2013-2018.

I didn't know that he was gay when I first started watching. I didn't know I was queer when I started watching him (which is the important part). Throughout 2014, I started to wonder if he might be gay, but I still remember the elated feeling in my chest when the coming out video hit my inbox.

It fit, for the lack of a better world. A filter flicked off as he addressed us. It felt right. Even as he'd made himself into being this boy next door who talked about relationship stuff and girls a lot. And his content has changed a lot in the following decade, but it also didn't. I still watch all his videos because I enjoy his perspective. If anything, I enjoy it so much more because he's also queer.

Him reflecting on that time in his life, a decade ago when he decided to upload that coming out video, without knowing the ripple effects it could cause for him and his audience, pulled me right into self-reflection alongside him.

I watched the coming out video ten years younger, still merely believing myself an ally to the LBGTQ+ community. I was about halfway through my bachelor and I had no idea what I wanted to do. I had only just started posting fic on Wattpad mere months before.

And now I'm here and queer. Having gone through micro labels that helped me feel belonging, only to mostly embrace umbrella terms now. Gender as funky as my sexuality. I've finished my masters five years ago and I've been working at my current job for 3,5 years. I've got a decade of fics under my belt and nearly 200 works and 4 million words to show for it.

I still don't know what the fuck I'm doing with my life but I'm embracing all of the good things in it. My family, my friends (many that I've made through getting into YouTubers and subsequently Dan and Phil), my pets, my interests and my writing.

And there's still so much life ahead of me. I'm not someone to think 5 or 10 years ahead because that's frankly terrifying as fuck, but looking back gives me hope for the future. And I'm thankful I've always let myself dive nose-first into my interests because they've always brought so much love. I can't imagine what my life would be like without discovering those early Connor Franta videos and all the domino effect that's followed since then.

I didn't know either of us was gay when I found him, but maybe life works in strange ways. Maybe my queer heart resonated with his gay one. I'm proud of him. I'm proud of me. And while I don't like looking too closely to the future, I shall still leave this: May the next decade be kind to both of us!

[musingmelsuinesmelancholy]

Would you say your spiritual beliefs have changed significantly since you first began exploring spirituality? Do you feel your core beliefs have changed or remain the same?

ooooooh hell yea! how horrified my 14yr old self would be at the shit I get up to now xD

I started out as a neo wiccan, super-duper new age. I'm talkin crystals, reiki, "smudging", rede thumping, love and light and pixie farts. There was some animism, I think I've always been one to an extent. I have very distinct memories of being angry at kids for "hurting" the plants outside the church at school and being absolutely horrified to hear that only humans had an immortal soul. Firmly rebuked that idea in my lil ginger gremlin heart, much to the priest's annoyance. Once I found wicca it validated those feelings of mine and allowed me room to explore them, though not to the extent I later would. Given that I was very fluffy when I began, around 2014, I was very much into (for lack of a better word) toxic positivity and I struggled to accept/acknowledge the darker parts of myself, nature, magic, occult/pagan history and spirits. While there was some animism there it was lacking nuance. It made me uncomfortable to try and reconcile this nature-based religion with the violent colonialist history of the country. So I ignored it.

I found, or rather was led to, traditional witchcraft in late 2017. This led to me fully embracing animism as the focus of my craft/spirituality and accepting all those dark things I had shunned. I moved completely away from deity worship. Tho, tbh, I don't think I ever really did believe in The God/Goddess. (I was one of those all gods are The God/dess types) I think it was more that I liked the sound of it, and I agreed that the divine feminine was sorely underappreciated rather than having actual belief/devotion. I was able to reconnect with my Maliseet relatives which was so instrumental in my developing a more nuanced approach to and understanding of animism.

Rather than craft being a religion it was a spiritual practice. A way to connect with the spirits and make things happen. I yearned for power, for witchcraft. It was how I survived living with my father, how I survived my ex's abuse and how I escaped. I was spite, hate and venom. Cursing, binding, dominating, sweetening and twisting.

My local lore as well as the lore of my ancestors' cultures informed my craft. I balked at the idea of worship. A witch makes magic, we do not bow. Why rely on a god when ours is the weaving of fate? What God would want such a cruel and twisted witch anyways... We have our devil(s), land spirits, the dead... our "little gods". I Didn't need or want a Zeus. After all, there was none of that in the lore. Coming from a catholic background I saw people begging God to fix their problems. Issues which, for the most part, could probably be handled pretty easily. I learned to see seeking solace and strength in religion as a kind of weakness.

Once I was free a vacuum was created. I had my relationships with spirit but I felt rather aimless.. I have reverence for my witch father, after all, it was He who opened the door, yet I felt a certain emptiness. There was no need for all this malefica I had been used to.

Eventually She appeared to me; all those hidden parts of myself were brought to light. I felt like a granite pebble. Hard and unyielding, to be worn smooth ever so slowly by the ocean. Try as I may to remain jagged the waves will win; I will be softened/polished... She opened me to love, not philia but rather something rather like agape. If you'll forgive my catholic terminology haha. I still don't understand. As I'm writing this, I'm in disbelief that I actually said that... that I actually truly feel this way now... This is new and not at all where I thought I was headed. I'm embarrassed that I ignored her for SO long and all because I couldn't find mention of what I was seeing/experiencing in folklore. Yet she was there, from the start.

I'm not sure where this will lead nor how it'll shape my craft. I'm exploring (and adoring) gaulpol. I'll have to, like my animism, learn how to practice it in stolen land. I'm unsure of how syncretic my craft will remain, as a large portion of it was informed by new England lore. My ancestors faith has always played a large role in my veneration of them.. then again they sent me messages/omens when I asked for guidance in identifying Her.. so perhaps neither of them will mind haha.

My craft began very terrestrial, and it will continue to be so, but it has become much more focused on water and stars than I would've thought. I always thought of the heavens as more the purview of ceremonial magic. One thing that's stayed 100% consistent is the imposter syndrome and fears/feelings of inadequacy xD

Good lord I fuckin rambled huh? TLDR yea shits changed, always been a dirty soil lovin animist from the sticks. THank you for the ask bud! Sorry about the novel that shit is wicked long

(I hate that when I'm tired the fuckin Mainer comes out)

[noisytenant]

what was ur trajectory for getting into hardcore?

Short answer:

Vocaloid -> Tumblr mutuals give me a taste of hardcore -> hardcore touhou arranges and lolicore -> hardcore autism -> 4lung links me a copy of FL studio -> Perpetuates the cycle

Long timeline below the cut:

c. 2009-2011: get into vocaloid because a high schooler TA at art camp plays World Is Mine and a few other classics, and i think it's just the coolest thing ever.

c 2012-2013: still really into vocaloid. it's my special interest. finding myself enjoying electronic stuff but not knowing anything about genres. going on youtube deep dives, listening to anything i can find reuploaded off niconico. i have a bookmark folder from around this time with a good hundred or so songs in it lol

2013-2014: introduced to things like wolfgun, pendulum, and more experimental electronic like osamu sato by tumblr mutuals. some of my mutuals make their own music. they and quite a few others i follow are into lapfox but i never went out of my way to listen. the callout drops and i have no idea what anyone is talking about but i avoid the subject.

i want to get into making music. i had a tiny bit of background when i was in elementary school, but i still struggle to read sheet music, i don't know shit about playing the piano, and i don't know what programs to use. i watch Cakewalk videos in mystified awe, unable to read anything on it. i am very bad at searching for information online.

somehow, i get myself into using UTAU, mostly just converting USTs, doing a little tuning, and trying to edit in Audacity. I start using Famitracker. While I struggle with the interface, I finally for the first time understand music. The process of synthesizing a sound makes sense for me, and I want more.

2014-2015: i'm into 8tracks and i like, like fucking, electroswing and glitch hop and shit. i'm just listening to random dancey electronic. i don't know. i liked the hotline miami soundtrack

2015: old vocaloid producers are retiring and moving on, the slump is starting to hit. i get a new computer, i deleted my old tumblr coinciding with losing most of the people i spent time with on there, i focus more on school. but i'm on twitter and soon i've remade my tumblr.

i start making new friends. i get invited to play nekodancer with one of them, and get introduced to their friend (hi ein). i think he put on like a goreshit song or a touhou arrange or something but it just really cracked my brain open.

i get into touhou, i get into touhou arranges, and this is when i meet gabber and breakcore. i'm also pretty into lolicore but i have a hard time talking about it due to it being called lolicore (oh, how time changes a person)

2016: at this point, hardcore is my special interest. i'm collecting things in youtube playlists, i'm getting really granular about genres. i'm slurping shit off of lolicore.ch

i want to make hardcore but i don't know how. i try doing things in sunvox to no avail. i try playing around in audacity to no avail. but the hardcore spirit is within me

additional events of note:

2016 or 2017: i don't know when or how i ended up finding out about 4lung, probably a twitter mutual. i like her stuff and she puts out a lot of it. the fanbase is friendly.

if you ask, 4lung will send you a pastebin with a link to FL studio, sample packs, and tips on getting started making breakcore. so i get FL studio. i'm still busy at school, but i make some practice tracks for assignments.

2017: i make the first E-R0 MAID.f track.

and then i just kept going. my music-related special interests wax and wane with my ability to focus on them compared to other things going on in my life but they never really fade completely. in early 2023 i started djing so that's brought it back.

so yeah that's roughly my trajectory thanks for listening

[starlitiris]

“Where is the Justice?”

Chapter 5: Lab Rat

Summary: “Sebastian and Malachi are having lunch together, just as they have been everyday for the past few months. I’d like to say that nothing is new, but that would be a lie. It’s the calm before the storm.”

Notes are at the end

~ ⚖️ ~

January 29th, 2014

“Looking a little blue around the gills, Sebastian!” Malachi sat across from Sebastian at the table, setting his lunch tray down without much care. He grinned, finding himself very funny.

“Dude. Not cool,” Sebastian glared.

“Well, it’s true,” Malachi picks up his fruit cup to open it. “You do have gills, and they are blue,” he points out.

Sebastian rolls his eyes and goes back to picking at his meatloaf – if he could even call it that. The food here wasn’t much better than what he was given in surface-prison.

Sebastian wasn’t too jazzed about having gills visible on his neck for everyone to see. He wasn’t too jazzed about them being there period. It hurt and itched to grow them in, and the soreness and itching hadn’t stopped yet. It was distracting and unpleasant, not to mention the skin around his gills was starting to turn a blueish-gray. It looked gross to him. And everyone can see it. At least his jumpsuit was hiding the gills that had formed on his sides. Those ones looked even more disgusting, in Sebastian’s humble opinion.

“You’re an ass,” Sebastian remarked.

“Nahh, you love me!” Malachi said teasingly before shoveling a spoonful of diced fruits into his mouth. He didn’t finish chewing before he spoke again. “So, any updates? What’s the deal with, uh… whatever’s going on with you?”

“No idea. They said the skin changing color is a side effect they’re going to have to rule out. They also said that my skin changing color seems to be the only side effect presenting itself so far, but if anything else starts to change, then they might put me on 24 hour watch to monitor the changes. Also to make sure I don’t die or melt into a puddle of goo, too, probably.”

“Damn. Hopefully turning you into a smurf is the only side effect,” the blond added, this time without a mouth full of food.

“Okay, first off, fuck you. Don’t call me a smurf. And second… yeah, me too. But knowing how my luck has been lately, it probably won’t be the only side effect I have to deal with,” he concluded pessimistically, finally beginning to eat the slop on his tray.

“Hey, you never know! Your luck might start to turn around soon,” Malachi offered a hopeful grin.

“Easy for you to say,” Sebastian retorts. “I got sentenced to death for something I had nothing to do with right after finding out my partner was pregnant, got brought down here 32 minutes before I was supposed to be killed, wasn’t even here for a month before being randomly selected for a human experiment meant to disfigure me, and now I have gross gray gills on my body and everything is sore and itchy.”

“... Mm. Well,” Malachi starts, “at least you’re alive.”

Sebastian looks up from his food to see his friend’s sympathetic smile.

“And you have me!” The blond shrugged. “That’s somethin’ right? I think it helps to have a friend when everything sucks. No matter what happens to you because of this experiment thing, I’ll always be right beside you, man.”

Sebastian says nothing.

“I mean, I know I annoy the shit out of you sometimes, but I just like to have fun. And I care, y’know? I try to be a good friend to you when it counts,” he sets his empty fruit cup to the side and continues. “I know you lost a lot and feel like you have nothing left, but you have me. And you always will.”

Sebastian stares at his friend thoughtfully for a moment, then sighs. “I don’t know how you stay so optimistic when you lost everything, too, and got stuck in this shithole.”

“Blame my sister. She’s the one that taught me to make the best out of anything. And besides, I didn’t lose everything. I still have myself! And that’s something that nobody can take away from me. Plus, I have you now!” Malachi playfully kicks one of his friend’s feet under the table. “You and I are in this together from now on. So don’t go dyin’ on me in some containment cell, okay?”

“Tsk. Yeah, whatever,” Sebastian can’t help but smile a little. Malachi’s good mood was obnoxiously contagious.

He really isn’t sure how Malachi does it. Half the time, he seems to be off in his own little world where everything is sunshine and rainbows. As if they aren’t doing slave labor at the bottom of the ocean as punishment for crimes they either didn’t commit, or didn’t know they were committing. As if the other prisoners around them weren’t dropping like flies because of whatever this organization was making them do. But Malachi proves time and time again that he isn’t oblivious to any of that. He understood the gravity of the situation they were in. It was unfair, and their lives were at risk everyday. It sucks, and Malachi knew it. But he wouldn’t let this place, or anyone break his spirit. He wouldn’t let anyone break him. Sebastian admired that.

Having Malachi around keeps him afloat. Sebastian is still grouchy and miserable all of the time – it’s hard not to be when he’s still trying to process how much he’s lost and been through in the past months – but Malachi helps him push through. He helps Sebastian think sometimes, even if just for a brief moment, that maybe things will be okay.

And all Sebastian does is bitch and moan about how terrible life is. He knows he can’t really be blamed considering everything he’s been through, but he must be a real drag to be around, huh? He feels like he owes a lot to Malachi. He supposes… trying to be a little more positive is the least he can do.

“... My birthday is soon,” Sebastian mumbles.

Malachi perks up at this exciting piece of new information. “No shit, really? When is it?”

“February 3rd. I turn 21.”

“Oh, nice! I know there’s not a whole lot we can do about it, but I’ll try to think of something! Maybe I’ll just give you whatever you want from my lunch tray as a birthday gift,” he notes with a goofy smile.

Sebastian shook his head and rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to do that. Keep your crappy lunch to yourself.”

“I gotta do something for you. It’s your birthday! And we both need a little more celebration in our lives, anyway.”

“Giving me your food is probably the only thing you can do, and I don’t wanna take your food from you. You need to eat.”

“You won’t be taking my food. You’ll be receiving my food. As a gift. Besides, it’ll only be for one day and I’m not giving you my entire lunch.”

“Yeah, yeah. Still. A simple ‘happy birthday’ will do.”

“Hmph,” Malachi crosses his arms and thinks. “Oh! You know what- maybe if we’re lucky, they’ll have those blueberry muffins you like as an option for breakfast again! If they do, I’ll give you mine and settle for a carton of milk or something.”

“... Alright. Fine. If they’re giving out the muffins again.”

Malachi grinned, happy to have made some sort of compromise. Sebastian shook his head again, but he was still smiling. He appreciates his friend wanting to do something nice for him on his birthday.

Enjoying his upcoming birthday would be difficult. He desperately wanted to spend it with you. With you, his mom, Rita, Gavin, and the twins which he was sure had been welcomed to the world by now. Thinking about the twins left a sharp pang in his heart, knowing he would never meet them. But, as per Malachi’s advice, he would try to remind himself that they were in good hands. And he would try his best to enjoy his birthday a little. For Malachi, for himself, and for you. He knows you would want him to try.

And, to a very small degree, he was able to. His luck did briefly turn around on the day of his birthday, and he was able to have two blueberry muffins for breakfast, courtesy of Malachi.

If only that luck had lasted, though. A few months later he would be struck with migraines and severe leg pains. He was rendered unable to work, claiming to be in too much pain and not having full function of his legs anymore. So, as planned by the scientists on his case, he would be taken away for testing and 24 supervision.

Malachi was worried, hoping his friend would be okay and wouldn’t be gone for long. It was a little alarming to watch him get carried away on a stretcher.

In the following weeks, Sebastian ended up being glad for once that you and the others thought he was dead. This way, none of you would have to know about what was happening to him in the months to come.

You wouldn’t have to find out about any of it. He truly believed it was better this way.

Death would’ve been more merciful than what he was about to go through.

~ ⚖️ ~

Ending Notes: At least he got his blueberry muffins

Sorry my chapters for this series tend to be so short </3 I might come back to this later and try to make it a little longer, but no promises. If I do end up doing that though, I’ll be sure to let you guys know in the notes on the next chapter!

Ao3

Chapter 4 - Chapter 6

[tricksterpale]

Farewell

It feels strange to write this. I've had this blog for over 10 years now. But the time has come for me to say goodbye.

After much thought and many quiet moments over the 2 year long hiatus spent reflecting, I’ve decided that I’m leaving this account. I’ll leave this blog up, for the sake of memories, for the archives of what was once a vibrant, welcoming place for me and for so many of you. But this will be my last post.

The gw2 fandom here on tumblr in particular, this place that I once cherished and found sanctuary in, no longer feels like a safe and healthy space for me, or for the work I want to share. And so, I find myself at this crossroads, saying goodbye not out of anger or resentment, but out of a quiet need to protect myself and my art.

I will still create. I will still share my work in other spaces, where I can breathe a little easier (and post work that this platform prohibits). But for now, and likely indefinitely, I need to step away from this blog in particular.

The years have not been kind to any of us, have they? The world has tilted in ways we never expected, dragging us all into its churning tides. The world has been harder, scarier, less stable with each passing day. A lot of us have lost things—people, or perhaps just the sense of comfort and security we once took for granted. Some days it's felt like nothing is safe, not even the things that I once believed would always be there.

It’s hard for me to ignore the way the fear, the uncertainty, the instability of the world around us has seemingly seeped into this space as well, turning what once felt like a refuge of comfort into something more toxic. I see the same things happening here that I see out there: endless conflict, divisiveness, quick and damning judgements based on differences of opinion and perspective, walls instead of bridges, cliques, lack of critical thinking, and a constant undercurrent of tension that makes the idea of posting here feel less and less safe for me. It feels as though the tumblr fandom community has become rife with the very things I came here to escape once upon a time. This blog is no longer a place I can find peace in.

These past 5 years in particular have forced me to expand and withdraw in ways I didn’t anticipate. In the beginning when I made this blog, there were the sparks of creativity fanned into blazes, the feeling of being connected to a group of like-minded souls, all of us sharing our love for Guild Wars 2, for art, for storytelling. There were certainly issues, but overall the things that made us different were the same things that brought us together. But as time wore on, it became clear that the fandom had lost something that once felt vital to me. The space became crowded with tension, with a kind of noise I no longer felt equipped to tune out. What once felt like a community that embraced differences in perspectives began to feel like a place where I was on edge, unsure of whether the next post or interaction would be one of support or of conflict.

It’s hard to admit this, but perhaps it’s not just the fandom that has shifted. Perhaps I have, too. The person I was in 2014 isn’t the person I am now, and thank god for that. When I first joined this space, I was looking for connection, for a place to share my work and my passion for Guild Wars. I wanted to be part of something larger than myself. But the world has changed, and so have I. The things that once fed me now leave me feeling hollow, anxious. The echoes of the past still linger, but the resonance isn’t the same. The goals and inspirations I once had feel more like a memory, a forgotten song that no longer moves me or serves me.

This isn’t to say that I regret any of it. I’ve learned so much, about myself and about others. I’ve seen incredible art, met incredible people, and shared moments of joy with many of you. Those things matter. They’ve shaped me in ways I can’t even fully express. But the person I am now can’t exist in the same space I once did. I no longer see the world, or this particular internet corner of the GW2 fandom, through the same lens.

The past five years especially have taught me that change isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes, it’s painful. Sometimes, it’s lonely. But it’s real. And it’s necessary.

My perspective, my sense of what’s important, of what matters, has shifted. The things I once valued here no longer hold the same weight. Like I said, I will leave TricksterPale up. I just will not be posting or logging in here again. For those who know my handle on discord, you can always find me there. You are more than welcome to poke me, even if it's been a long time. But otherwise, you can keep up with my art and musings on my newly created bluesky account from this point forward. I do not have an Instagram or Twitter anymore.

I don’t know what the next chapter looks like, but I know I’m not the same person I was when I first opened this blog. And for that, I’m grateful.

Take care of yourselves, and remember—change is inevitable, but it’s also a chance to grow into something new. Something better. And sometimes, part of that growth is being willing to let go and move on from things that no longer serve you.

[jadeharleyinc]

Okay responding to your post to mine about the Cismen Dni post because the OP has finally decided to block me.

I think that's giving a lot of reach to the idea of someone saying Cis men DNI on a post, which usually, from examination is mostly just horny posting.

And even following the line of logic you've set up, I'm going to say the impact would be so categorically tiny as to almost insignificant just based on like the number of blogs that use it if we are establishing that a DNI can present so much about a complete person(s) who seems mostly to be horny posting on tumblr on their personalised blog.

And just so I can make myself clear, I do believe DNI lists are stupid and ineffective and don't do anything. But assigning so much meaning to them is also baffling. It's the kin dni lists discourse of 2014-5 brought back to stupid stupid life.

i think the point of the post is pretty explicitly, and pretty obviously, about more than DNIs. the mention of DNIs by itself may be beating a dead horse, yes, but it serves as an example of a broader "i don't want men to talk to me or even interact with my posts unless they're trans men" sentiment.

this sentiment matters a lot more, and is a lot more widespread, than the DNI example used to illustrate it. is it a poor example? maybe. you can address that in your reblogs if you'd like, that's good criticism. but i feel like you'd be missing the forest for the trees in that case.

also, there is nothing that separates horny posting from regular posting. sexuality is a normal part of the queer experience. you have to recognize that your posts, shared publicly on the internet, can mean something to cis men just like your regular posts would. the post being about sexual topics doesn't make it special.

[roleplaysolovinoiu]

Who am i?

Hey everyone, it’s still me, Serhii. I thought it might be a good idea to write this post since some people have misunderstood my invitation to join the jam as a scam. So, I’ll tell you a bit about myself.

I’m 33 years old, I work at a hospital, and I live in Ukraine. TTRPGs are my passion, and I try to combine my love for them with doing something good.

Before 2022, our small group of 40 people used to play various games in Ukrainian on a local Discord server. Before the Russian invasion, the development of roleplaying games in Ukraine was almost nonexistent. We just played in local groups without much interaction. Meanwhile, there was a huge post-soviet russian-speaking space, and everything Ukrainian developers created benefited that sphere, despite the ongoing war since 2014.

However, the brutal invasion and shared hardship brought Ukrainians together. By spring and summer of 2022, after we gathered ourselves, we started building our own community. Since then, we’ve achieved quite a bit: offline and online festivals, our own games (even in English), over 30 translations of well-known and indie games, educational work, lectures, reviews, new YouTube videos, and of course, ongoing charity fundraising. Charity has become part of our daily lives because we know if we don’t donate, both we and our families and friends won’t survive.

Personally, I helped found Roleplay Solovinoiu, a Ukrainian-language group I started with my wife to promote RPGs here. We’ve hosted tons of online festivals, introduced people to games other than D&D, and I co-organized the international Roleplay Ukraine festival, which we’ve held twice: in 2023 and 2024. Hopefully, nothing will stop us from holding it again in May 2025.

I’ve also been involved in translating games into Ukrainian, like Lady Blackbird, Call of Cthulhu, Vaesen, Dune: Adventures in the Empire, Fallout 2d20, Lasers and Feelings, and some indie stuff. Soon, Durf will be released—we hoped to finish it this summer, but we had an unfortunate situation with our layout designer. And I’ve also made the best social deduction board game, but I’m not allowed to talk about that :).

Now, we’ve decided to organize a bundle to raise money to help Ukrainian hospitals. Since I work in a hospital, I can see the massive need that the government can’t fully cover right now. In the jam’s post, you’ll find pictures and stats on how many hospitals have been completely destroyed, and how many are still hanging on, despite the damage. We’ve partnered with one of the biggest charitable foundations and know that all the money will go directly to helping hospitals.

So, that’s a bit about me. Yes, I’m a real person, not a bot. Feel free to ask any questions you might have!

Wishing you peace and skies free of rockets.

[habeascorpseus]

when i was in 7th grade, i had my first boyfriend. corny shit, i know. in many cases i dont think middle school relationships are enough to be classified as dating- but to this day, i do firmly believe our clumsy attempts at recreating the behavior of couples barely older than us did count. there was an emotional connection there. we had met in 6th grade and bonded over fnaf and minecraft 3 animations and all those other things that people still found found entertaining in 2014.

another notable thing in 7th grade that happened was that i had discovered i was transgender. well, i say "discovered", but it was honestly a long time coming. between my obsession with being seen as a "tomboy," my favorite song on the Kidz Bop 16 CD being Beyonce's "If I Were A Boy" (but sung in a way to make it so much less about cheating that it really became more of a call to action to imagine life as a man) to the point where i manually would loop it on my cd player for hours, and my growing love for mlm shipping— i had been a certified egg since i was in 4th grade. but despite being raised around and parented with about a dozen lesbian and gay couples since birth, i didnt know whether or not my parents were transphobic or not. so, after looking through a list of trans identities, i decided to just come out as genderfluid to my parents as sort of a compromise to the intimidating rigidity of being a trans boy. and even though it wasn't entirely fitting to what i'd ultimately figure out about myself, i grew pretty attached to it.

back to the middle school boyfriend.

at the end of 7th grade— like, a week before summer vacation— i publically came out as genderfluid. while my ex, who i will from now on refer to as Lou, had initially taken it well, albeit with some confusion, over the summer, a much different series of feelings began unfolding. unfortunately, as middle school boys are wont to do whenever one of them begins to act even slightly against the norm, his friends began asking him if he was gay. "if michael¹ is a boy sometimes, does that make you straight, or bisexual?" are some of the things i later heard them ask. and since i, phoneless till the age of 16, was unable to talk to him throughout this relentless picking apart of his own identity, by the time we got back to school, things were... different.

¹ Michael is the name i went by irl for 3 years from 7th-9th grade.

for one, there were the jokes. he was a big leafy fan (and i really did try even back then to steer him away from that but its hard when youre a cringe nerd middle schooler) and back then "attack helicopter" jokes were kind of all the rage, so he began jokingly identifying as a toaster. then he made a toaster mask out of a cardboard box, spray paint, and duct tape that he brought to school and began putting on whenever i walked by him in the hallway. and then, and possibly worst of all- a simple html website shared between his friends called "what gender is Michael today?" which lead to a random generator of options like, "boy", "girl", "toaster", and "attack helicopter." all of which is kind of a lot to deal with when youre a middle schooler with a pretty rough time of it already, and suddenly your main bully is the guy youve effectively been in a relationship with for 6 months.

and now you may be asking: hey habeas, why this sudden autobiographical deep dive into the most traumatic period of your life? what spawned this? how is this story relevant to literally anything going on? well, that's where the next part of the story comes in.

that year, our sex ed teacher was a 5ft transgender man named Mudd. Mudd had a buzzcut, and a higher pitched voice, and small hands, but beyond all of that, there was nothing visibly different about him than any other boy or man in the school. in fact, the boys thought he was cool as hell. they were fascinated by the idea of transformation of the self into an unrecognizable body. they never misgendered him, even after learning his status as a trans man. in fact, they were comfortable enough around him to be transphobic towards me. and Mudd, like a good trans mentor, told them to cut that shit out, and told me that regardless of how complicated and occasionally contradictory my identity was, it was still me, and i needed to stand up for who i was as a person.

a week later, Lou called me a tranny, and in response, i punched him in the nose and promptly stopped talking to him.

so again, why is this relevant? well, I'm not sure how terminally online (or specifically, on twitter) some of you are, but recently there's been a bit of a tiff in a certain fandom about bi lesbianism. specifically, how it, as an identity, is harmful to both the bisexual and lesbian communities. which, one: nooooo....??? bisexuality and lesbianism arent separate so much fraternal twins, and I've already talked too much to include further definitions to prove it. but my argument is really less about its validity as an identity and more about the principle of there being limits to acceptance, even within our community.

like with my experience, people were fine when they were faced with binary identities. a trans man like mudd is cool, or a trans girl like Jazz Jennings (we watched a lot of I Am Jazz in homeroom) could be seen as normal, and more so, inspiring. but when i came in with an identity people found to be contradictory or "too confusing," it resulted in backlash. the entire definition of being "queer" is to be abnormal to what general society finds acceptable, and even then, some things are "too weird" to be tolerated. even amongst "weird" people. which i find to be a pretty troubling trend amongst queer leftist young people who's only real experience with an "lgbt community" has been online. here, we prioritize and find catharsis in labels and categories to the point where the "queer community" has become instead split between identities- the gays, the lesbians, the bis, the transes, the aros and aces and the whatnot. in the real world, it doesnt matter what flavor of queer you are, nobody's going to stop and ask before they call you a groomer and then legislate your freedom away. which is why we, as an online queer community, have to get rid of the notion that some identities are "too contradictory" or "dont exist" enough to be worth giving support and love.

im saying all this here... because, well, one: nobody wants to read a 40+ tweet thread about my personal brush with irl homophobia and how that radicalized me against community separation in general, and two: i am deeply afraid of 14 year olds on twitter with too much time on their hands. but also im saying this because it was infuriating yesterday to watch my entire twitter feed suddenly turn into a puritanical campaign against the very concept of someones identity and have the ability to say nothing. it disgusted me how quickly we turn against our own simply because the way they are is confusing to our tiny fucking peanut brains. and i know none of those people who went on that tirade will read this, but i felt like it needed to be said anyways.

don't let society's impulse to ostracize the confusing and strange win out over human decency. don't do conservatives' strategy to divide and conquer us for them. a person's identity not being comprehensible to you is not inherently an attack on who you, yourself, are. you are your identity and you should stand up for it, and you should stand up for others' identities too. punch your bullies in the nose.

long live the confusing, the contradictory, and most importantly, the queer.

[daughter-of-sapph0]

quick question, what's an era 2 tumblr user? we have eras??

it's sorta something I made up myself. tumblr has gone through various shifts in presentation and tone that dramatically affected how people use the website. honestly idk if anyone besides me actually uses this system, but I'm gonna use it anyway because it's funny

so Era 1 is from the start of tumblr until dashcon. this is where the dashboard had those weird lines on the side of reblogs, was the hight of superwholock, allows editing other people's posts, and was filled the overwhelming prevalence of fandom. back then, tumblr wasn't very mainstream and most people who used it were big nerds (affectionate). so there was a strong sense of community between people who had shared interests.

Era 2 starts after dashcon in summer of 2014. this was a disaster of an event that sorta boosted tumblr's popularity for better or for worse. this is also when I first joined in late 2015 as an undertale blogger originally (my first blog has since been deleted though). this is what I'd call the meme era of tumblr. it's when most of the most popular jokes are from. it's when massive inside jokes and tumblr references started. and it's the time where the most people were active. and it lasted until about late 2018 with the porn ban

Era 3 was kicked off with many users deciding to leave tumblr near the end of 2018 beginning of 2019. tumblr's policy on porn up until then had been "go nuts. show nuts" until it was bought by virison who tried their best to make it "family friendly". the whole thing was handled very poorly ("female presenting nipples") and didn't even get rid of all porn, just porn from sex workers and artists who sold nsfw content to make a living. most of those people left for sites like twitter, and many other sfw artists (and also people who just used tumblr for free porn) left with them. for a while, tumblr was pretty empty. but not entirely. there were still very close knit communities, arguably even closer than Era 1 even. and honestly, this is when tumblr was at its most usable. it was quiet. the only thing that you had to worry about was the occasional porn bot (and staff's growing authoritarianism, but we'll get to that). it's hard to argue when exactly Era 3 ends. I like to say it's when elon musk bought twitter, but I also think it might have started a bit before then. it's more of a slow transition that happened sometime between early and late 2022

Era 4 is the return era. when everyone who went to twitter came crawling back. this was sorta kicked off with staff starting to be more lax with their porn restrictions. but don't think that staff was having a change of heart and suddenly nice. for the longest time, they had been overstepping boundaries and abusing their authority, such as banning mainly Black and leftist users calling them "Russian psyops". it was also around this time that people discovered that there were several terfs on the development team, and that was likely the reason they didn't ban nazis and terfs despite both being in clear violation of the tos. tumblr staff tried to distract from this controversy by adding a bunch of gimmicks. the crabs for April fools, blazing posts, checkmarks, tumblr live. this for some reason actually worked, and a lot of people just forgot or didn't care about staff any more, and it actually brought in a lot of new users. I have no idea how long Era 4 will last. all the Eras have been kicked off with a massive change in how social media operates that becomes more dramic and impactful each time. so short of the us government completely banning tiktok for good, I doubt Era 4 will end any time soon.

sorry this turned mostly into a rant against staff near the end. as you can obviously tell, I'm sorta biased towards Era 2 and 3, as that's when I had the best experiences with tumblr. and a lot of the problems I have with the site today can be traced back to staffs stupid decisions and abuse of power and authority.

but yeah. I hope that makes sense.

[its-nekodon]

Oh yea, i forgot..eh

Happy 10th anniversary, Five Nights at Freddy's! Thank you, Scott. You have my heart.

You made my life so much better, i had lots of fun watching my now favorite youtubers play your game, watch them and me get scared shitless, i mean i was 14 back then...you brought me joy, terror and ideas for my own stories. But you also gave me headaches, because of your damn confusing story! Fuck you, Scott! And you also made me annoyed when i played one of your games myself...security breach...the game that made me rage, laugh and that gave me an unhealthy obsession with a blonde woman with a ponytail and questionable attitude. That that was Steel Wools doing.. fuck you too.

Sometimes I couldn't wait for the next game, I was beyond exited for FnaF 4..but sometimes I couldn't care less, Fnaf Pizzaria Simulator was mid...and FnaF AR was boring and dumb.. but then I was exited again for the excellent VR game..and then the disappointment that was Security Breach.

I have much to say about FnaF, it's awesome songs, it's amazing Fanart and fangames like: FnaC, OnaF, Jr's and the amazing Joy of Creation. The wierd books, the crazy theories and my Rewrite that I'm committed to finish and post someday of your happy accident that was Security Breach and FnaF in general.

Thank you, Scott, again, for making this silly horror indie game called "Five Nights at Freddy's "! ❤️

And now, some Fanart that I did...I'll just shoe you the best drawings I did in those 10 years, starting with 2014.

This is Kento, my original character, that I've made and the first piece of fanart.

Some more OCs and Bonnie! The next 3 drawings are from 2015, and the last traditional drawings I did.

I was really proud of these back then. They are still decent.

The next post will continue with digital fanart and will show the point in my life when my art got darker/very cringe.

Art (c) @its-nekodon

Bonnie, Springtrap (c) Scott Cawthon, Five nights at Freddy's 2, Five nights at Freddy's 3

[manic-maniac-man]

Eyescream Feb 2015

Takahiro Miyashita

[TAKAHIROMIYASHITATheSoloIst.] is scheduled to be presented in the form of an exhibition at the Paris Collection 2015-16AW in January 2015. Designer Miyashita Takahiro's long-awaited return to Paris has been a hot topic of conversation, and amidst all of this, the brand's first photo book was released on December 25, 2014. The book is entirely in black and white, and features three female models, making it a rather mysterious-looking book, but designer Miyashita's aesthetic sense permeates every corner. Could this really be the beginning of a new development for the brand?

Direction TAKAHIROMIYASHITATheSoloist.

Photography Yoshiki Suzuki

Styling Takahiro Miyashita

Hair & Make-up by Asami Nemoto

Models Kiyo Matsumoto, Hyunri, Osuzu

・When and how did the project for this photobook start?

"I think I heard about it around the beginning of 2014, maybe before spring. It's the first book to be published by a new publishing company (Unknown Books). We had made a book (catalog) once before, and it was the same people who had finished that. Since I was approached about it, I thought I'd give it a go. I thought this kind of thing would take longer than expected, but I wanted to shoot quickly. I set out to shoot in the morning, afternoon, and evening, but the first time it didn't go well due to the weather. In the end, I went to shoot three times."

◆Even though the magazine is mainly men's, all the models are girls.

"That's right. I decided on that from the beginning. I was only told it should be 80 pages long, and was told to do whatever I wanted, so I didn't want to make something that looked like a catalog or advertisement. I only used my own personal items, and hardly used any of the Soloist's clothes."

●But it fits perfectly, including the fit. Did you work on styling it with Miyashita-san?

"Yes. I just did the styling. I also wanted to design the book myself, so I added text and things like that. There was no special title. After I finished, I thought, 'This doesn't have a title,' and I thought this was good."

◆There are a lot of handwritten letters in the design, including the cover.

"MOGNO6 is a letter artist and typographer. I was introduced to him by Ya-kun (Takagi Yasuyuki/photographer). He is so cool, so I gave him a photo and asked him to create some letters that would go with the photo."

◆ Did you put a lot of thought into the design as well?

"No, it's pretty quick. Even if I plan things out from the beginning, sometimes it's not a very good idea when I get to the scene, so I often think about it as I go along. I think hard beforehand, but it usually doesn't come to fruition (laughs). Coordination, I didn't put anything together. I just brought a lot of things and said, "Put this on," and we piled on ideas."

- They're all in black and white. Are you shooting them on film?

"The basics are digital and Polaroid. For the digital ones, I had planned to edit all the images from the beginning. I told the photographer, Yoshiki Suzuki, that I wanted a beautiful rough texture, so I asked him to edit them to the limit. I didn't want to do something that was already set in stone. I wanted to leave them in an unfinished state, with the feeling that there was more to come. He's a very skillful person, so I think that's why he leaned towards me when taking the photos. I also took the photos from "The Impossible" with a Polaroid. All of the rough ones are like that, and I think there are seven of them, including the cover."

◆It's a really mysterious book because miraculously it all works together without any sense of incongruity.

"It's strange, isn't it? I don't know what I'm trying to say (laughs). I don't really want to say anything. So I just go blank. You're like, what is it? I can only answer, "It's nothing." I don't think too much about it. I didn't think anything of it when I was doing it, but when I actually did it, it felt like a trailer for something."

◆If that's the case, it looks like it might continue.

"I don't know. I'd like to do it if I have the opportunity. I'd like to publish about one book a year, but...

I'm grateful for this first book."

TAKAHIROMIYASHITATheSoloist. Photobook

Hardcover: 84 pages (including cover)

B4 size ¥10,000

[ms-m-astrologer]

Welcome to the Shadow of the Eclipse

October 4-31, 2023

Some introductory notes

The “shadow of the eclipse” is a time period lasting from 10 days before the first eclipse, to three days after the final eclipse. It is recommended not to start anything new, or schedule anything important, during these days - as usual I refer everyone to the 1981 wedding of Lady Diana Spencer to the Prince of Wales, as an example.

Of course we live in a place/time which scoffs at letting astrology help with the timing of events - therefore don’t lose hope if something falls unavoidably within the eclipse shadow. Just be prepared.

I wanted to take a more thorough approach to delineation, this time. I hope it’s helpful.

South Node Solar Eclipse

A solar eclipse happens when the New Moon lies close (in the Zodiac) to either the North Lunar Node, or to the South one. It occurred to me to do a little research on whether which Node is involved, makes any difference - and yes, it does.

Astrologers call the South Node “the dragon’s tail” - Steven Forrest calls the South Node, “the dragon’s butt” - because here we are “pooping out” what we don’t need and can’t use. (One person’s poop, however, is another person’s fertilizer.)

Eclipses conjunct the South Lunar Node, like the October 14 one, have an outflowing (outpooping?) of energy. They tend to feature external events which we have to “rise up to.”

If you’d like to note how these have affected you in the past (always a good idea to check “what happened last time”), here is a list of the previous South Node solar eclipses in this century:

December 14, 2001, 22°56’ Sagittarius

December 4, 2002, 11°58’ Sagittarius

November 23, 2003, 1°14’ Sagittarius

October 14, 2004, 21°06’ Libra

October 3, 2005, 10°19’ Libra

September 22, 2006, 29°20’ Virgo

September 11, 2007, 18°25’ Virgo

August 1, 2008, 9°32’ Leo

July 22, 2009, 29°27’ Cancer

July 11, 2010, 19°24’ Cancer

June 1, 2011, 11°02’ Gemini

July 1, 2011, 9°12’ Cancer

May 20, 2012, 0°21’ Gemini

May 10, 2013, 19°31’ Taurus

April 29, 2014, 8°52’ Taurus

March 20, 2015, 29°27’ Pisces

March 9, 2016, 18°56’ Pisces

February 26, 2017, 8°12’ Pisces

February 15, 2018, 27°08’ Aquarius

January 6, 2019, 15°25’ Capricorn

December 26, 2019, 4°07’ Capricorn

December 14, 2020, 23°08’ Sagittarius

December 4, 2021, 12°22’ Sagittarius

October 25, 2022, 2°00’ Scorpio

October 14, 2023, 21°08’ Libra

Going down that list was a very uncomfortable trip down memory lane for me. When those South Node eclipses affected me, it was generally a harbinger of some difficult “external event” which I had little to no control over - which is not the same thing as saying “it wasn’t my fault.” I brought some of it on myself due to bad decisions. Some karma chickens coming home to roost, in other words. Not all of them were dire, though. One in particular gave me something of a respite from what had been happening in my life - it was conjunct my natal 12th House cusp.

Saros Series “7 South”

This eclipse is part of Saros Series “7 South.” Bernadette Brady writes,

The individual experiencing this series will find that huge obstacles will suddenly and easily clear or, on the negative side, a pending potential crisis will suddenly manifest and move through his or her life very rapidly. Either way the individual will feel that everything is moving at great speed. (The Eagle and the Lark)

Previous Saros “7 South” eclipses in Ms M’s lifetime:

September 11, 1969, 18°53’ Virgo

September 23, 1987, 29°34’ Virgo

October 3, 2005, 10°19’ Libra

Not quite as depressing for me personally.

Whatever Shall We Do?

1) Determine which of your natal houses this eclipse falls in.

2) Determine whether the eclipse makes an aspect to anything in your chart. Use a 1° orb. In my case, the conjunctions, squares, sesquiquads (135°), inconjuncts, and oppositions made the most obvious impacts.

3) If there is a close aspect to a planet, check to see which house(s) that planet rules. One South Node eclipse was conjunct the ruler of my natal 4th House, and I moved three months later.

4) Avoid strenuously negative thoughts. If you put a lot of energy into anticipating that something is going to be horrible and painful and disastrous, well, guess what - that’s exactly what’s going to happen. If you catch yourself falling into a panic, try to refocus the energy into “the best possible outcome.”

[likeadevils]

Do you know if the 150 vault tracks for 1989 was true? I’ve always assumed it to be false/exaggerated but it’s something I’ve seen being talked about on TikTok constantly so i’m doubting myself

as far as i've seen, that particular number comes from a secret sessioner. there probably some truth to it-- there's this aside from her New York Magazine article (which she gave on September 22, 2013) "While on the Red tour, she’d been writing songs and stockpiling ideas: reams of lyrics, thousands of voice memos in her iPhone," and she also mentioned in a video (i think in the grammy listening session when she's talking about ryan tedder?) that she tried to bring 3-5 ideas to a producer before they got in the studio so they could choose what they wanted to work on. which is like, an insane amount of backlogged song ideas when it comes to taylor, so it makes sense.

that being said, i don't think they were full songs (at least the vast majority of them). based on the voice memos and the interviews i've read, it seems like taylor would have a verse/verse melody and a chorus, and then once a producer chose a song she would flesh it out more. there are some exceptions, but by in large, most of the voice memos she brought to producers were varying degrees of unfinished. furthermore, the stuff that didn't get chosen by a producer was likely not recorded in any real way, and therefore not legitimately considered for the album.

here is a list of all the vault songs we know about

she was in the studio in early october 2012

jacknifee lee implied her and harry wrote a couple songs together that fall

she's tweets about being in the studio in february 2013

she's photographed entering one in early march

she posts on instagram implying she's writing a song in late march

in november of 2013 she says a couple times that she has seven or eight songs that she knows she wants on the album. by that, taylor had likely recorded 10 songs that went on to make 1989, 7 that had been made since taylor and jack had a big conversation about 80s music in may, and 5 of which that were likely recorded in the past two months. so, depending on how taylor was judging "songs she knew she wanted on the album", that leaves room for about two or three songs from late 2013 that almost made the album but didn't.

she writes one with diane warren in january 2014

she's photographed entering a recording studio in march 2014.

by may 2014, she had likely wrapped recording and done the album photoshoot. so being generous, that's roughly a dozen mostly complete, unreleased songs. there's always the possibility of more, but i would still say that would bring the total up to 15, tops. furthermore, only 5 of those songs that we know about were written after taylor and jack had had their conversation about 80s music (x, x, there's so much more pick like any piece of press jack does about 1989) and taylor starts building the album around it (x, x).

so like, despite having a lot of rough drafts, taylor likely had a fairly small amount of songs she legitimately considered for 1989 but cut. which is what the vault songs are-- not a complete record of every song she halfway made while writing for the album, but a collection of killed darlings.

[objectosexual]

Hii! So this is a question (that I've also been thinking about myself) how did you figure out you we're object sexual and how did you come to terms with it? (As someone who's currently questioning if they are or not rn)

I know I've talked about it here and there so sorry if some of this is me repeating myself but...

I didn't fully figure it out until I was around 16 or 17 if I remember right (it's been over a decade at this point), but I like. Had crushes on objects pretty much my whole life lmao

But yeah finding info about objectumsexuality (or objectophilia, which was the term primarily used pre-2014 when I was figuring this all out) was kinda hard. Pretty much the only stuff out there was like, click bait about people like Erika Eiffel (and other openly objectum people in relationships with public objects) which sensationalized aspects of it and all that. Stuff I didn't entirely relate to at the time (as I thought I was some level of aroace until I was like 18 -- a lot of it was dysphoria)

But yeah I had a like. Loose idea that the label existed and kinda fit me. I didn't think my experiences counted since the objects I liked were all fictional characters that were alive/anthropomorphized. I liked objectheads and gijinkas of objects. I didn't relate to like. The idea of liking something "cold."

I think it finally clicked when I got a crush on my first car, which was my first real relationship with an object (since I don't count my previous fictional object selfships as such 😅) I can't remember if I used the label prior to realizing I was attracted to my car or not but! I know for a fact I've been using the objecto/objectum label since!

Also all of this was WAY before I learned about the POSIC+ label and up until that point I just described that sort of experience as having hyper-empathy to inanimate objects (which is still true! but I now know it comes from a place of seeing objects as having souls or sapience or whatever)

Anyway as far as coming to terms with it... I don't entirely remember that process. I do remember struggling with it a bit, but at the time, I literally felt like I was the only objectum person on Tumblr (I wasn't, but since no one was really using labels I couldn't find anyone, but people definitely did find me)... It was definitely an alienating experience to be seemingly the only person online who wants to be in a serious relationship with his car.

But eventually meeting more people who had similar experiences, attractions, etc. helped me feel better about it and be more open about it.

Then the (threat of the?) porn ban happened which forced me to closed down my objectum porn blog, which I was already kinda ehhh about running due to some harassment I was receiving on and off Tumblr. So at that point I was more reserved about it

So my timeline is like:

Birth to 2012-ish: object crushes but no idea why

2012-2014: figuring out the label exists and questioning it

2014-2015: realizing it does apply to me, began relationship with my first car

2015-2017: open about it on main & running a porn blog

2017-2020: rarely brought it up directly

2020-present: more open about it again (as well as somewhere in there deciding to be more open about my relationship with Clockboy as an object, not just objecthead)

Idk if this helps at all but that's kinda the gist of figuring it out aha. I don't think you've always needed to know or anything, attractions can begin at any point in your life imo, but I think the following is important to consider if you're not sure:

What kind of attraction are you experiencing?

Is it romantic? Sexual? Both? Is it purely aesthetic? Or even platonic? All of these are incredibly valid, but I think if you have never felt "I want this object to be my romantic partner" or "I want to have sex with this object" then it might be worth doing some introspection on whether or not you "only" identify with the POSIC label -- a lot of those feelings really get muddied and that's what can make it confusing... But it's also possible you haven't found an object that you want that sort of connection with!

I think it's worth remembering you don't have to identify with the objectum label if, after self reflection, it doesn't resonate. Like I can't tell you how or how not to identify, and at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter that much, but if the experiences and feelings of other objectums feel close to your's, it might be worth exploring more as a label for yourself!

But yeah I hope this... All makes sense? Like my journey in particular may not be the like... Standard experience, since my whole life has just been me lusting after objects and once I had an object I considered my partner, it all relatively fell into place

[puuung1]

My book series Love is in Small Thing Vol. 1 and Vol. 2 in new English editions, are currently available on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/s?me=A2FK9CAAEGNND9

I've always wanted my books to be more accessible for fans all over the world, and the long journey to make that happen is finally over. I'm really happy. It's a very tearful moment for me. You won't know how many challenges I've had.

Since the publication of my first book in South Korea in 2016, it has also been published in various countries, including Indonesia, Taiwan, Vietnam, Turkey, Japan, Brazil, China, Philippines, and Russia in their respective languages. 🇰🇷 🇮🇩 🇹🇼 🇻🇳 🇹🇷 🇯🇵 🇧🇷 🇨🇳 🇵🇭 🇷🇺 Although unofficial, I made a small number of books by myself and sold them to small fans in 2014. I also opened crowdfunding on Kickstarter in 2015, and thankfully, 1,800 fans participated, so I was able to make limited edition books and send them to fans around the world.

However, I had one concern – continuous inquiries from overseas fans looking for English versions of the books. At the time, I felt helpless, but I decided to approach the Korean publishing company that had published my books and asked if they could add English translations to the captions in the book's illustrations. Fortunately, they agreed, and this resolved my initial concern. Eventually, in April 2020, revised editions with English translations were released.

However, at the end of 2019, when the decision to release revised editions was made, my second concern began. It was to find a way to sell my books to fans all around the world. Creating an online store was not an easy task, but I managed to resolve it using an e-commerce platform called Shopify. The real challenge was international shipping. Shipping costs from Korea to many countries abroad were prohibitively expensive, and I had no prior experience with international shipping. I worried about whether fans would be willing to pay such high shipping costs. Despite my concerns, I had no alternative. I diligently searched for a trustworthy shipping company, opened an official website in February 2020, and began preparing to sell my books.

Although I had hoped that this would resolve my concerns, a much larger problem arose, affecting not only me but the entire world: the COVID-19 pandemic. I couldn't have imagined that the pandemic's impact would be so severe. In April 2020, I started selling my books with great aspirations, but the pandemic brought global logistics to a standstill. Immediately after opening the website, I received orders from a lot of people around the world. I had packed all the orders and was ready to ship them, but I received notifications from the shipping company stating that they couldn't deliver to most countries. It was a moment of utter frustration after all the hard work. Orders continued to come in, but there was no way to send them. All I could do was apologize to the customers via email. Fortunately, everyone was understanding, but it took nearly a year to finally ship my books to all the customers. I had no idea that selling something to people living in other countries would be so challenging. Over the course of a year, I faced many trials and tribulations and finally overcame the obstacles.

The concerns, however, did not end there. Over time, I continued to receive comments and emails saying, "I want to buy your books, but the shipping costs are too high." I searched for ways to reduce shipping costs but couldn't find a solution. Since I wasn't a large-scale retailer sending out many international shipments, I couldn't negotiate significant discounts. So, I started looking for other alternatives.

There were two potential solutions. The first was to sell my book on Amazon using Amazon KDP – a print-on-demand model. The second was to sell my books on Amazon by producing my books in bulk and stocking them in Amazon FBA. However, I couldn't bring myself to produce the books in bulk and stock them in Amazon FBA, so I chose Amazon KDP and began selling my books in August 2020.

Has my journey reached its conclusion? Selling my books on Amazon and reading customer reviews, I found a new issue – the quality of the books. Print-on-demand is a method where books are produced and sent out as soon as an order comes in, primarily focusing on text-based books, which led to less-than-ideal paper and print quality for illustration-heavy books in terms of cost. Now, the final solution I'm going to attempt is to produce my books, stock them in Amazon FBA, and sell them. And it took a whopping three years. The long journey to make my books accessible to fans worldwide at reasonable prices and shipping fees has finally come to an end.

My books are now available on Amazon, and you can purchase the new English editions. I am extremely pleased to offer you high-quality English editions at an affordable price with reasonable shipping fees than before. Especially in these new editions, 25 additional unreleased illustrations are divided into two books. I hope this is good news for those who wanted my books but couldn't purchase them until now. I am deeply thankful for your ongoing love and support for my work.