#brother thomas makes an edit
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hornelius-hickey · 10 months ago
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the-s1lly-corner · 4 months ago
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Drawing each other (Slasher edition)
help im getting good ideas for writing but idk what fandoms to write it for so uhuh... i guess writing for the mains ones i write for! woo yeah! characters: jason voorhees, brahms heelshire, bubba sawyer, thomas hewitt, Michael myers notes: reader is GN, admin did a coin clip on whether or not the reader is an artist cws: none
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JASON
sometimes sitting in the cabin all day can get a little boring, you were the one who brought up the idea of drawing each other
neither of you are particularly good at drawing but that doesnt mean the two of you arent going to have fun
hes a little embarrassed to show you his drawing of you, hes hesitant to turn the paper around to show you
you didnt have much access to many drawing supplies, a lot of what you already had was crayons and colored pencils stolen from the camp, as well as the paper
he doesnt care if the drawing doesnt look the best, hes in love with just about anything you do or anything that has to do with you
he keeps the drawing folded up and tucked in his shirt pocket!
BRAHMS
hes actually pretty decent at drawing, using that to spend his time when hes not watching you from the cracks in the walls
on top of that hes pretty confident in his ability
you, on the other hand.... i dont think he would make fun of your work, but its clear that theres only one artist between the two of you
keeps the drawing you make of him in his little hiding place in the walls
takes a long minute to look at your drawing of him, its hard to read what hes thinking in that moment
more than proud of his drawing of you, you likely have to remind him to hurry up.. hes going to spend a lot of time on it
will expect a compliment for his work- and dont think he wont compliment your work either!
MICHEAL
you got the idea while doodling random stuff in your sketchbook, deciding to take this as a moment to do something together
he doesnt get it at first but hes... probably... not going to just walk away from you
a decent artist himself, he doesnt draw often but its clear he knows some of the basics of art
very quiet while the two of you draw but its nothing new
exchanging your drawings goes without a hitch, and hes sitting there looking at your paper for a long moment... he doesnt give much of a reaction... but you do notice him tucking the paper into one of his pockets
he doesnt care if you keep his drawing or not, however you sometimes find him looking at his art if you display it somewhere
BUBBA
hes not very good at drawing, he never really gets the time to sit down and doodle- on top of that he doesnt know what to draw most of time, when he does have the time and thought to try!
loves anything you make, you dont have to be a good artist either, hes going to take in every little detail of the art
is this how you see him?
if youve added additional stuff such as sparkles or hearts, hes going to be staring even longer... thats so sweet, you like like him?
of course he already knew you did, youre both dating but seeing stuff like that in passing always feels nice
very protective of the drawing out of fear that his brothers may tamper or destroy it- at best they (namely nubbins and choptop) may tease him
THOMAS
like his original counterpart, thomas doesnt draw all that often so he hasnt built up the skill... but that doesnt mean he isnt going to try to draw you how he sees you when you sit him down to do this activity with him
takes a long time to get all the details right, doesnt want to make you look off or worse, offend you if he messes something up
you can draw him with or without his mask, but its clear that you put care into the drawing, regardless of skill
loves it so much, hangs it on the wall in the basement so he can look at it while hes working... its like a little motivational thing for him! he protects his family, and youre part of it.. he does this for you!
a little hesitant to give you his drawing, but lightens up at your delight for how he portrayed you
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justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms · 4 months ago
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When They Know They're In Love ~ Frostheim Edition
I will be doing the other houses and will link them here once they're posted. I hope you like this and if you did, please feel free to send in requests for what you'd like to see.
Fandom: Tokyo Debunker
Characters: Jin Kamurai, Thoma Ishibashi, Lucas Errant, Kaito Fuji x gn! Reader
Frostheim | Vagastrom | Jabberwock | Sinostra | Hotarubi | Obscuary | Mortkranken
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How do the characters know they're in love and what will they do when they realise?
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Jin is not exactly the most in touch with his emotions. He knows he feels something around you. Does he think it’s some weird side effect of your ability or him using his stigma after so long? Absolutely.
It will take him a long time to figure out that what he’s feeling is actually love but when he does, it’s when you’ve finally snapped at his treatment of you.
You’re tired of being treated like a servant and you’re letting him have a piece of your mind.
And suddenly, his chest is tightening, and he’s got butterflies, and he realises just how beautiful you are.  How did he never notice this before?
It might take him a while longer to accept his feelings and pursue you properly but when he does, expect to be swept off your feet by the effort he puts in to making you feel just as strongly about him.
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Thoma is a lot more observant than Jin. He’ll recognise his feelings almost straight away when he sees how hard you’re working both to get to know the ghouls and to break your curse.
He’s found a kindred spirit in your hard-working attitude. But he won’t act on those feelings for a while.
He’s busy with his own work and, if he’s being honest, he doesn’t think he could handle getting into a relationship with you, only for your curse to take you from him a year later.
I think it would take a life-or-death situation for him to confess. Something where he nearly looses you before the year is up and he realises he has to tell you how he feels before you’re gone.
Whether a relationship blooms from that is up to the two of you but Thoma’s a practical guy. Whatever you’re decision, he’ll make it work somehow.
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Luca is an interesting case. I feel like he’s aware of his feelings about certain things but not others. Love is one of those things he’s not super aware of.
He knows how he feels about close family like his brother. But you? He just doesn’t register his feelings towards you as romantic at first.
He finally puts it together when he sees you asleep in the library, a book open in front of you with information relating to his brother’s situation.
The rush of affection he feels towards you in that moment is so strong, even Luca can’t misunderstand it as anything else. Now he just has to confess.
He won’t drag it out and will likely pull you aside next time he sees you. He’ll be perfectly gentlemanly and explain his feelings, as well as letting you know that any decision you make, he will accept.
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Kaito is certainly in touch with his emotions, but I don’t think he would realise the depth of his feelings for a long time.
If you’re female presenting, he would just assume what he’s feeling for you is his usual affection towards women. If you’re male presenting, he’ll just assume you’re a really great friend.
He realises he’s in love with you when he gets a message from another person and realises the sinking feeling in his stomach isn’t a normal reaction.
Honestly, I feel like Kaito will be a bit freaked out by his feelings to start with. He’s not used to really caring about people and he’s not entirely sure where to start.
Once he does come to terms with his feelings and realises he wants to be with you as more than just a friend, he’ll do his best to up his game so you fall for him the same way he fell for you.
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Hey, did you enjoy this? If you like my writing, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi page! This will allow me to make some money off my writing, something I enjoy doing.
ko-fi.com/justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms
Important Note: Please only donate if you are financially able to. If you are currently in a position where you can't donate, a like, comment or reblog will mean just as much.
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raccoonspooky · 2 years ago
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How different slashers would react to the Babygirlification of themselves on tumblr dot com.
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(Slashers included: Patrick Bateman, All 3 Sinclair brothers, Brahms Heelshire, Billy Loomis, Stu Macher, Billy Lenz, Bubba Sawyer, Thomas Hewitt, Freddy Krueger.)
Nsfw! Extremely stupid dumb! This is x reader format!
Patrick Bateman:
He saw an edit of himself in cat ears and he proceeds to PUNCH his windows 98 behemoth of a computer. It hurts his knuckles and it's YOUR fault. You've made an enemy on this day. He proceeds to stalk your account and googles repeatedly on dialup internet, ur blog name and "location". Patrick also attempts logging into your tumblr but he’s maxed out the password guesses. He wants to go to a lan cafe in hopes of using every computer to try and log into your tumblr. Somebody tell him that’s not really a thing anymore. 
Bo Sinclair:
Loves it. Loves every single post talking about how hot he is, he's absolutely jerking off to the posts. Then he sees (1) post about how he's peggable and then he sees another post calling him babygirl and then he's lost his boner and is seethingly, barkingly upset. Like what's WRONG with yall! Who raised you!!
Vincent Sinclair:
He's flattered by the fan art, shy to look at anything that shows his face. Vincent doesn't get the babygirl thing at all. Is he supposed to be offended by it? You're not bullying him, are you? He reads some post about you wanting to suck his soul out of his dick and wanting his body to compact like a capri sun and his hands are genuinely shaking as he closes the website. That's enough internet for the rest of his life.
Lester Sinclair:
Squinty eyed, mouth sorta hanging open, Lester reads some post about how he's "skrunkly" and he definitely gives good head. He kinda rubs his mouth and sniffs, trying to decipher all of this internet lingo. Lester understands about 30% of it but he gets the general idea that you think he's super cute and that just makes him feel like he's walking on sunshine. Talk about an ego boost! Not only would you WANT him to eat you out, but you're writing dirty things on the internet about it? Lester feels like he's a million feet tall and he's been spraypainted gold.
Brahms Heelshire:
Loves!! it!! Post anything about him and that's like a marriage proposal smh. He's a little embarrassed about the sheer amount of thirst, but he's been up for like 48 hours red eyed just reading content and looking at fanart of himself. He sees some post about you wanting to give him a hug or hold his hand or something and he's just feeling REAL lonely. He wants that SO bad. Call him babygirl all you want, if that's your pet name for him, then it's his favorite thing that he's ever heard. You want him, don’t you? You’re not just SAYING he’s babygirl right? You mean it right? Right?
Billy Loomis:
Your inbox is exploding with awful, mean messages. The anon is calling you a slut and a whore and blah blah blah, he's sending long-winded paragraphs about how you should watch what you say online and he's gonna kill you. Why's Billy doing this? Oh because you wrote a fic about eating his ass and how he’d cum in less than a minute untouched and whining. You called him a poor little meow meow and reblogged some vid of a ghost face cosplayer in all pink dancing to an annoying pop song. Billy’s a very eloquent writer when it comes to his lengthy descriptions of how he’s gonna cut you to pieces.
Stu Macher:
Every single post about a generic ghostface, Stu just decides to think that's about him. There's fanart of ghost faces in cat ears, in skirts, in hot pink slutty outfits and he thinks every single one is great. He's obsessed with the fanfare! Stu’s obsessively searching his name, reading all the thirst out loud to anyone who will listen. He read your post about how his dick must be massive and he's tried to DM you a dick pic but tumblr auto-flagged it and now his account is pixelated and marked as nsfw. He also responds to every single ghost face thirst post with a bunch of emojis and it's kinda spammy. U accidentally block him.
Billy Lenz: 
To Billy, the word babygirl is stupid, thinks that all the piggy whores must be incredibly stupid and slutlike to call HIM babygirl. But! He’s very entertained by the fanart, Billy likes all the art that makes him look like a weird little creature. He responds to things here and there, but it's mostly keysmashes and corrupted text. No matter how soft or well-intentioned your posts are, you proceed to get spammy comments from a blank account, things like D̷̫̪͓͚͌̿̔ư̷̬͈̻̠̫͂̈́̒ṁ̴̧̛̭̩̼̌b̴̢̝̘̜̒̈́̏ ̴͎̻̩̓͝w̴̨̮͎̘̘̋̿̎͛̋h̶̪͎̳̗̉̈́̕͜͝o̵̝͔͛̄̏͐̚r̶̢̥̦̺͆̌e̵͔̩̫͂!̶̳̺̖͈̽͒̓̾́  and P̶̡͉͕̳̞͆̎̇̕ḯ̸̡͓̮̬̈̋̍g̴͉̅̎g̶̱̥̀̕y̵̡̝͇͘ ̶̛̖̔̀͂̂s̸̨̈́͂̕l̸̘̈́̈͘͝ǘ̶͚͓͎͆͋̒t̷̥̺͑̾͗!̶̜̹̗̌́ . The text is so corrupted you can’t even tell that he’s insulting you? Thankfully the comments and messages cease in a week or so because Billy drooled so much onto his laptop that the entire thing shorted out.
Bubba Sawyer: 
He’s giggling squealing grunting. Dude sees edits of his face where he’s got pink blush and flowers on his head, he thinks that he looks very pretty!! He’d very much like any of those silly costumes that he’s been drawn wearing. Dress him up, do his makeup! He’ll love it! You made some post about how you think he’s so big and handsome and he’d be so nice to cuddle and his hands are so big compared to yours, Bubba read it over and over and over. Somehow, he accidentally posted a very blurry photo to his blog with a keysmash username and tumblr removed his blog because of gore. This is very distressing for him lol.
Thomas Hewitt: 
After reading approximately (1) post about wanting his juicy fat man tits in your mouth, Thomas is suddenly very aware of the way his body is shaped. He’s been called a big, hulking freak for so long that he never thought at someone would be attracted to the way he looks. Slowly and using his finger to trace the words, he reads a LONG-WINDED thirst post about himself. There's several comments agreeing. Each comment is dirtier than the last. These are words he's never really comprehended before and this is honestly a little overwhelming. Then he reads a post about how you think he’s PRETTY and he’s very babygirl. This out of everything makes his face get hot and he’s done with the internet for now. He’s got a lot to think about.
Freddy Krueger: 
One of your posts was making fun of him for being a dirty old man. You really should’ve kept your mouth shut about that. He’s seen enough on your blog to really put together a grand ol plan on how to really fuck with you in your dreams. The more he stalks your blog, the weirder the posts get. He saw an edit of his glove where instead of blades, it was tipped with long sparkly acrylic nails. You’ve edited his hat to be a pink cowboy hat, you’ve given him hair once? You call him babygirl in every single post and he’s just titteringly excited to see if you’ll SCREAM babygirl when you see him. 
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tac-the-unseen · 7 months ago
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How the slashers show affection
Minor editing for formatting and writing for additional characters. (That's something you won't see in my original AO3 book!)
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Michael Myers:
Quality time
He shows up. If Michael really likes you he will show up for you. Got a place you want to go? He's there. Did you work really hard on something and want show him? OK. Just maybe dont expect a huge reaction out of him.
Billy Loomis & Stu Macher:
Acts of service and physical touch!
Billy will go out of his way to try and help you do something. That or he'll just do it for you. Stu is a teddy bear. Always touching you or Billy.
Study date look a little like you and Billy doing the work and stu snuggled up to both of you.
Thomas Hewitt:
Acts of service
Thomas while busy will always find a way to help you. Something on a shelf you can't reach? Grabs it and hands it to you.
Bubba Sawyer:
Physical touch
Cuddle bug! Bubba is always down to cuddle. After all the chores are done of course. His brothers don't like slackers
Bo Sinclair:
Gift Giving
Will buy and or steal things off of victim's to give to you. ASK WHERE HE GOT THE CLOTHES FROM!! If he stutters either don't wear it or wash it a couple times.
Vincent Sinclair:
Gift Giving
He will draw/paint you and give it to you! He's very shy about no matter how long you've been together. Give him some praise and you might get some more.
Lester Sinclair:
Words of affirmation
Praise!!! He loves to give and get! Expect compliments all the time. You made dinner? " This is really really Good!" ( if you give some praise back he will be a big ol blushing mess )
Billy Lenz:
Physical touch
Did you expect anything else? Billy Lives to have his hands on you. If you don't find a hand on your ass, tits, or thighs, something is very wrong.
Brahms Heelshire:
Physical touch
Mother Fucker practically glued to your hip. Anytime you sit he's on your lap. Laying down? Already snuggled up. (Pro tip: you can get out of chores via cuddle compensation!)
Hannibal Lecter:
Acts of service
Don't want to do dishes? OK he'll do them! Don't want to get out of bed? He'll bring you your meals. Hannibal will do anything ( within reason) for you!
Will Graham:
Quality time
Will love spending time with you. More than anything in the world. You could just be sitting down, saying nothing, and he'd still appreciate it. Even if he can't vocalize it or put it into physical action, making time out of his schedule just to sit next to you is how he lets you know, he loves you.
The Lost boys:
David- Words of affirmation
David is a sweet talker through and through. If you seek verbal validation, He's your guy. He let you know when you're doing a good job, or if you look particularly nice this evening. He has no problem purring at you if he knows you like it.
Dwayne- Acts of service
Dwayne loves nothing more than helping you reach that tall shelf, or finding a book you'll like. And with that motorcycle, he has no problem being your personal chauffeur. He'll even read to you if you ask. Whatever you need, he's quick to dote on you.
Paul- Physical touch
No surprise here. Paul loves to grab and hold onto you at all hours. You can bet anytime you're standing still he's right behind you hugging you while rocking side to side. Sitting down? He's already pulled out the blanket to cuddle you.
Marko- Quality time
Marko might seem like a party, jump around kind of guy, but he actually sits pretty still when he's working on something. Whether it's a painting, sewing, or doodling he's almost like a statue (minus his hands of course). So when you're craving some kind of affection from him he'll let you lean on him while he's working, making light conversation. He cherishes these little moments with you.
Thanks for reading! <3
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augustinewrites · 1 year ago
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oughhh AUGUSTINE! Happy Birthday! i hope you have the best year ever !! you’re such a wonderful writer ♡
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+ i saw you had asked for headcanons/prompts so how about your thoughts on Alhaitham, Diluc, and Thoma and what their process is for the end of your first (and successful) date with them is like? are they wanting to kiss you once they’ve walked you home? hold your hand? maybe more? ^_^
+ after the first date ft alhaitham, diluc, and thoma note: thank your so much gray!! i hope you have the best week! <3
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alhaitham's first date with you starts in sumeru city and ends in…liyue. the wangshu inn, to be exact. despite what his friends say, he can be spontaneous. so when you’d mentioned that you’d never been to liyue, he’d asked for two to-go boxes and said let’s go. but being spontaneous means being a little reckless, and now he’s sharing a room with you at the wangshu inn, and there’s only one bed.
alhaitham hadn’t thought this far ahead. it’s not like him to make an oversight like this, and he completely blames the way you’d looked basked in the warm light of liyue harbor’s lantern light. 
because now he’s sitting in the armchair, elbows resting on his knees as he stares at the singular bed in the center of the room. you’re oblivious to his mental strife, contentedly reading your new book out on the balcony. 
he knows that his hesitation is unwarranted because you’re adults, coworkers, friends. his brain knows these things, but his body is reacting to the fact that he’s also in love with you. 
“so,” you say, stepping back into the room. “should we hang a sheet up or something? build a pillow wall?”
he hesitates, sitting up straight. “oh—”
“haitham, i was kidding. we can just share the bed.” his expression must give him away, because you hurry to follow up with, “or i can just take the floor…”
“no need. it’s fine.” he says too quickly to seem nonchalant. “we can…share.”
it’s not fine. not later, when he scoots to the very edge of the bed, or even when he does a few breathing exercises to try and get to sleep. he’s too aware of your presence, of your body heat right next to him. 
“haitham?”
he should pretend that he’s asleep. 
but he rolls over to face you, meeting your expectant gaze. “yes?”
imbecile.
“this was a really good first date. i had a really good time.” then, after a moment and with a shy glance, “i’m glad my first trip to liyue was with you.”
if the world were a library, most people were like the trashy, romantic novels that kaveh denied indulging in— predictable, cliche, an utter bore. 
but you…you hold the value of a precious first edition classic. 
and when he leans in to kiss you soft and slow, he makes sure you feel like it.
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diluc's first date with you wasn’t meant to be a real one. it was just a cover, because attending a gala hosted by the fatui in the goth grand hotel all alone would be suspicious. but he’d needed to do the recon, so he’d enlisted your help. as the night wore on, he found it much too easy to slip into the role of doit my boyfriend, and instead of slipping further into the hotel to gain more intel like planned, he finds himself willingly accompanying you home afterwards instead.
diluc is a perfect gentleman, walking at your side with a polite hand on the small of your back and his jacket draped over your shoulders. 
“you didn’t have to walk me home,” you tell him, equal parts amused and confused by the change of plan. “kaeya would have kept me perfectly safe.” 
unbeknownst to you, kaeya is the reason why he’s changed the plan. the night had been going smoothly until his stupid brother had opened his stupid mouth and made him realize things.
you could have easily gotten in as jean’s plus one, but you went through all this trouble to take a civilian. seems like you have a crush…
it would have been easier to go with the acting grand master. no one would have questioned him or found him suspicious. 
but he’d wanted to go with you. you were the first and only person he’d thought of when adelinde had suggested that he bring a date of his own.
“diluc?” you ask, bringing him back to mondstadt’s cobblestone streets. “what do you think?”
he has no idea what you’re asking about, so he opens his equally stupid mouth to say, “i think you look beautiful.”
“t-thank you,” you stammer, smoothing your hands over the skirt of your dress. “but i was asking what you thought of the gala…”
the darknight hero blushes deeply and looks forlornly at one of the huge stone walls surrounding the city, wondering how much force he’d need to put his head through it.
“it was fine,” he answers with a sigh, his face still burning with embarrassment. “thank you for accompanying me.”
you take his hand in yours, looking up at him with a smile that makes him dizzy. “it was my pleasure.”
then you rest your head against his shoulder, his hand still clutched tightly in yours as you continue your walk home. 
archons, he hates when kaeya is right.
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after your date, (in which thoma had cooked for you with ingredients he’d had imported from mondstadt), there are a lot of places he could take you. he knows inazuma city like the back of his hand. he could easily impress you with a drink at the exclusive komore teahouse or dessert at the popular uyuu restaurant, but tonight isn’t about showing off how well-connected he is. tonight is about him getting to know you, and you getting to know him. so he takes you to his favourite spot in all of inazuma. 
thoma doesn’t let go of your hand as he leads you through the dense greenery of chinju forest. you’re not entirely sure where he’s leading you, intent on keeping the destination a surprise. 
“is this the part of the date where i find out the kamisato clan’s housekeeper is also a serial killer?” you ask, half-joking.
(because heizou’s words echo in the back of your mind in warning— never let them move you to a secondary location.)
he grips your hand a little tighter, turning to face with you an excited grin on his face. “we’re almost there, i promise.” 
you can’t help but smile back. you trust thoma more than you’d care to admit, and you like him a lot, which is why you’re content with following him through the woods well after sundown. 
it’s not long before you break through the tree line, and thoma leads you down a dirt path to a stretch of beach. 
before you step onto the sand, thoma slips his shoes off, even kneeling down to help you with yours. once they’re off and in your hand, he takes your free one and leisurely leads you down the beach. 
instantly, you’re met with the gentle saltwater breeze and the soothing sound of the ocean. it’s beautiful out here, illuminated by moonlight and the stars scattered across the sky.
“look,” he tells you, drawing your gaze away from the night sky.
you follow his gaze, a small gasp escaping your lips.
the shore is illuminated by brilliant blue specks sparkling in the water. bioluminescence swirls around the water like magic, and it’s absolutely mesmerizing. 
thoma sighs contentedly next to you. “i love the city, but this… this is my favourite place in all of inazuma.”
“it’s beautiful,” you breathe. you can’t help the warm feeling spreading across your chest, honoured that he’s sharing something so personal with you.
you don’t notice how his gaze is fixed on you, admiring the way the light sparkles in your eyes. 
“so are you,” he murmurs, almost shyly.
so, basking in the shimmering light of the sky and sea, you let him kiss you.
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kiatheinsomniac · 10 months ago
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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐍𝐄'𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇-𝐔𝐏!*˚ .♡⋆ˊˎ -
𓆩♡𓆪 a Valentine's gift for you! Considering the success it had last year, I'm bringing back Valentine's match-ups for 2024 to set you up on a date with one of your favs! 𓆩♡𓆪 (edited rules as I didn't get the same sort of engagement as last year that I had expected)
。・:*˚:✧。how does it work?
♡ similar to ships, you send me a description of yourself (sexuality, personality, hobbies, likes/dislikes) and a fandom (or multiple fandoms!) of your choice from the list below. ♡ I'll tell you who would ask you to be their Valentine and why as well as the date they would take you on! ♡ like last year, the event will be run on a "first come, first serve basis" ♡ you can enter by sending your information to my ask box! ♡ please keep in mind that entries are one per person and not one per blog. This is to make it fair.
♡ enter now to receive a Valentine's date!
・❥・꒰ CLOSES 7TH FEB. ꒱ ・❥・꒰ 0 SLOTS LEFT. ꒱
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。・:*˚:✧。fandom list:
𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍'𝐒 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐃:
✧ I will write for literally anyone
𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋:
✧ Any of the Dimitrescus, Karl Heisenberg, Donna Beneviento, Carlos Oliveira, Jill Valentine
𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐖 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐘:
✧ Elliott, Sebastian
𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍 𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐓:
✧ Alhaitham, Baizhu, Beidou, Cyno, Dehya, Diluc, Dottore, Kaeya, Kaveh, Kazuha, Lisa, Neuvillette, Ningguang, Pantalone, Raiden Ei, Scaramouche, Thoma, Tighnari, Xiao, Yae Miko, Zhongli (more will be added as I progress in the game ♡)
𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐄𝐍:
✧ Any of the ainur/ elves, Aragorn, Faramir, Haleth
𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐀:
✧ Alucard, Carmilla, Hector, Striga
𝐇𝐎𝐖𝐋'𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐄:
✧ Howl
𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐀 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒:
✧ Tomoe
𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐑:
✧ Sebastian, Undertaker, Snake, Ash/Angela, Charles Grey
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐒:
✧ Dominique, Johann, Noé, Olivier, Vanitas
𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐓:
✧ Sherlock Holmes, William James Moriarty
𝐁𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐎 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐎𝐆𝐒:
✧ Akiko Yosano, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Golgo. Osamu Dazai, Sigma, Yukichi Fukuzawa
𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐋:
✧ Loki
𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍:
✧ Brother Day
𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍:
✧ Aemond Targaryen, Daemon Targaryen
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builtbybrokenbells · 10 months ago
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CAPITAL VICES | JACOB T. KISZKA
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Jacob Thomas Kiszka: the eighth, undiscovered, most deadly sin of all.
Masterlist
Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader
Word Count: 19k
Warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, fingering (f!receiving), oral (f!receiving) mentions of oral (m!receiving), sir kink, dom/sub, praise, dirty talk, biting, nipple play, degradation, very brief mention/phrase of free use kink, overstimulation, spanking, name calling, ANGST, mentions of breakups/heartbreak, depression, anxiety, sadness, graphic description of grief/grieving, loss of a parent, mentions of cheating/toxic relationships, past trauma with relationships, mentions of abusive relationships/physical violence, mentions of dying/death, mentions of addiction/withdrawal/drugs, fluff, drinking, swearing, sorry if i miss any!!!
you guys didn’t really think I’d end it there, did you? ;) i did tell a little while lie and say wrath was the last chapter, but I didn’t technically say ‘the end’ 🤍 I apologize for leaving you hanging, and I hope this makes up for it! as always, be kind, enjoy, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes!! (Very lightly edited)
Forget, move on, move forward.
That was the mantra you had been repeating to yourself for days. The sound was nearly sickening now, and the only reason you had not abandoned it was because it was stuck in your head. It was not helping, and it definitely was not working, but you were so deep in despair that you hoped it would eventually make the difference. You were desperate for any type of relief, for none of your usual coping mechanisms were working. The more the time passed, the more you were beginning to think that you would never recover from the loss of Jake Kiszka. You could not look at your piano, and you could not get out of bed for long enough to even think about readying yourself for the bar. All of your most comforting television shows had turned bleak, and the thought of playing music made you sick.
Well, all but one particular band, at least.
One sleepless night, you grew annoyed with your own relentless tossing and turning. After moving to the couch and turning your television on, you realized that not even the sound of Shameless, or more specifically, Frank Gallagher’s drunken babbling could pry a laugh from you. You switched to Brooklyn Nine-Nine, wondering if maybe a goofy comedy would settle the unbearable misery, but it only seemed to worsen your sadness. With one last shred of hope, you pulled out your phone that was lacking any messages like usual, and you opened your Spotify account.
You took a deep breath as you typed the three words into the search bar, and you felt like you were punched in the stomach when the picture of Jake and his three brothers graced your screen.
Of course, you would notice Jake first. He always came first.
You listened to Jake’s music for the first time that night, and instead of sharing the memory with him, you had to digest the intimacy you had previously denied yourself whilst trying to forget him. You promised that it would only be one time, and that if you only listened to one song, it would curb the need you held for him in your heart.
But, as you learned before in the hardest way imaginable, promising and following through are two completely different things, and it did not stop at a single song. By the time the sun rose in the sky, you were a mess of tears as you finished up the last few songs on their discography. Instead of turning your phone off and moving on, you put it on loop and leaned your head against the arm of the couch. One particular song caught your attention as it began playing, and it drew you in even further as the melodic guitar solo began. By minute three, your eyes were heavy, and not long after that, you were sound asleep.
When you woke in the morning from the best sleep you had in weeks, you were still hearing the soft sounds of Jake’s guitar. You swore you would turn it off and move on, but as you stretched and stood from your position on the couch, you let the melodies carry you through morning coffee and a long, overdue shower. Since then, it always seemed to be playing in the background while you tried to survive life without him.
A few days after the final breakup, Scott had sent you a message inviting you out for lunch. He was curious about how the night went after the blowout at the restaurant, and you couldn’t blame him. He sacrificed his own pride to help you find happiness, and the more you thought about it, the more appealing friendship with him seemed. You needed something to break up the monotony of sadness, and you knew that calling your sister was the last thing you wanted to do. You loved her, and she had always been your best friend, but you could not recount the mistakes you had made to lead you here. It would kill you to relive all of the sweetness and eventually, all of the heartbreak.
So you agreed, but it was all but happily. You made plans for a Saturday afternoon, exactly one week after you had called it quits with Jake. You thought that maybe by the time it rolled around, you would be more excited at the prospect of leaving the house considering you’d spent seven whole days inside, wallowing in your own misery. When you woke up that morning, it felt like lead was weighing down your limbs and you cursed yourself for ever making the plans in the first place. You forced yourself through a shower, but had to sit down on the side of the tub for ten minutes to regain your strength before getting dressed. You picked a hoodie that you’d stolen from your dads closet a long time ago, hoping that it would help you feel closer to him. You had been missing him more than you had in a very long time. You squeezed into a pair of jeans, debating whether to change into sweatpants, but eventually convinced yourself to wear them anyway.
You returned to the bathroom to dust on some makeup, hoping to cover the deep eye-bags and pale skin. About halfway through, you realized that there was not enough makeup in the world to cover up your heartbreak. You put on some lipgloss and sprayed some perfume, finishing just in time to hear the doorbell. With a sigh of defeat, you abandoned your reflection to greet Scott. You trudged to the front door, unlocking the knob and swinging it open to reveal his smiling face. He was much more relaxed than he was the weekend prior, and his clothes were not nearly as fancy. Relief flooded you when you realized that this was, in fact, just a friendly meal.
“Good afternoon, Sunshine.” He chuckled, first noticing your solemn face. You had given him a brief rundown of the situation the night before through a poorly written text so he knew what he was walking into, but you feared that it did not even come close to the way you were truly feeling. In truth, you had been texting quite often, and you weren’t sure that any of it made sense. Still, he was smiling, happily radiating positivity in hopes of making you feel better.
“Not much that’s good about it.” You grumbled, grabbing your purse from the hook by the door. You double checked for your phone and keys before nodding your head in the direction of his car. Your pessimism was staggering, but it did not seem to phase him.
“There’s lots of good,” he tried, stepping out of the way to allow you outside. “You get to see me. That’s good, is it not?” He raised an eyebrow, watching as you locked your door.
“You give yourself too much credit.” He chuckled at your grumpy expression, brushing off your insults like it was nothing.
“You look nice.” He said, placing a hand on your shoulder as you both made your way to the car.
“Thank you,” you said, giving him a small smile. You knew you should not be so harsh with him; he only wanted to help, and you should be grateful for that. When you missed Jake so badly, it made it hard to think of anything other than the sound of your broken heart. “You, too.”
“You have any idea where we should go?” He asked, opening your door for you. You climbed inside, trying to ignore the turn of your stomach at the thought of food. When he got in next to you, he was still waiting for a response.
“Do you remember that little cafe we used to go to in high school?” You asked, suddenly recalling the little spot that you spent so much time together in all those years ago.
“With the two dollar sandwiches?” He asked, laughing at the idea.
“Yeah, and the best grilled cheese in the whole world.” You added, making sure he remembered that fact. “It’s a little bit of a drive, but I haven’t been there in forever.”
“I’m down,” he said, putting the car in reverse and pulling out on the road “I’ve got all day.” He looked down at the radio, reaching out and grabbing a cord. He tossed the aux in your direction and turned the speakers up a notch. “I haven’t been to that diner in a long time, either. We used to go there every day.”
“Yeah,” you nodded, “you, me, Seth and Katie Haynes.” You tried to hide the sneer in your voice when you spoke the names.
“Fuck, yes! I forgot about her.” He shook his head in disbelief at his own memory.
“I sure didn’t.” You leaned back in the seat, clicking on the seat warmer in hopes of soothing your aching body. Laying in bed nonstop finally seemed to be taking a toll on you. “Maybe I should have clued in that Seth wasn’t the one when I caught them fucking in my bedroom at my own house.”
“Not to say I told you so, but…” you rolled your eyes, reaching over and giving him a light smack on the arm.
“You know, that’s like rule number one of what not to say when you’re trying to cheer someone up.”
“Oh, I know.” He laughed. “That wasn’t to make you feel better; I just like being right.” It was crazy how fast the two of you seemed to rekindle the friendship that was once so strong. It made you regret losing contact with him, and you thought that if you had been friends with him the whole time, life might have seemed a little less lonely.
“Some things never change.” You sighed, looking out the window as he drove. For a little while, the two of you sat in silence. You admired the city and how it continued on as normal despite you feeling like the world was ending. It was a terrible thing to know that the sun would continue to rise and fall even while you felt like you were dying. You turned on your phone, finding yourself sick of the sad music floating through the stereo. You looked through playlist after playlist, but could not seem to find one that sounded appealing to you. When you grew sick of scrolling your phone in search of a song to play, you gave up and hit shuffle on your recently listened songs, and the first note that played was equal to a punch straight to the stomach.
“Oh, who’s this?” He asked, intrigued at the old-timey sound of the guitar.
“Uh, it’s called ‘Built By Nations’.” You muttered, trying to tune out the guitar and focus on Josh’s voice.
“Who’s it by?” He asked again, his original question being left unanswered.
“My ex and his brothers.” You confessed, You cheeks searing with heat.
“A musician in Nashville, y/n? Come on.” He implored you to think your decision out again.
“I know, I know.” You sighed. “Definitely wasn’t my smartest decision, but I’m suffering now, am I not?”
“Fair enough.” He laughed, taking the cutoff to the road that housed your old High School.
You were hit with a whirlwind of memories as he slowed down, likely feeling the same as you were in that moment. You strained to look out at the football field, and laughed to yourself as you saw the old sign that displayed the name. It was falling apart with some of the letters missing, but it was familiar, and it was comforting. You didn’t hate high school, but you did hate the life events that happened while attending. It seemed to sour the whole experience, but as you thought back on it, you knew it was not nearly as bad as you made it out to be.
“If you could go back for a day, would you?” He asked, looking over at you as the sight passed you by.
“I think so.” You nodded. “Would you?”
“Oh, for sure.” He chuckled, no doubt in his mind about it. With that, he turned down another side road, and within seconds, you were in front of the diner that was a staple of your childhood. He pulled into the half-full lot, and not long after that, the two of you were walking inside. Immediately, you were drawn to the corner booth in which you’d spent so many hours in. It was empty, just like it was meant for you two to sit there. You took to one side, and he slid in the other. You placed your phone in your purse and threw it down beside you, looking around the small area and reminiscing on the memories made in that very spot.
“Let me guess, bacon cheeseburger and not one, but two cokes to go with it. And one to go.” You grinned, looking over at his face as he laughed at your words.
“You know me so well, sunshine.” He admitted to it without argument; he got the same thing every day of senior year despite having a whole menu to choose from. “And you’ll get a grilled cheese with tomatoes on it, because you’re weird.”
“Tomatoes aren’t weird.” You scoffed. “You don’t think that ten months worth of ordering cheeseburgers is weird?”
“Yeah, whatever.” He waved you off. “So, tell me what happened.”
“Eager much?” You raised an eyebrow.
“I’ve waited a whole week to hear how it went, I think I’ve been plenty patient about it.”
“Fine,” you sighed, giving a shrug. “We fought in the parking lot, and on the drive home, and at my house. We said some mean things, stuff that we can never take back no matter how hard we try, then it went back to normal for a little while.” Normal was a strange description when it was referring to angry sex in your kitchen, but it fit the bill for you and Jake. Sex was the most normal thing about your relationship aside from the sadness, and occasionally, a wordless ‘I love you’. “It was nice, but I think that once the situation settled and I had a moment to think about everything, it just… it didn’t seem right.”
“What didn’t seem right?” He asked, hoping you would be more specific.
“All of it, you know? Like, we aren’t even dating and we’ve been hurting each other’s feelings and fighting. I can only imagine what it would be like if we were together.” He gave a small laugh, shaking his head slightly as you spoke. “What? What’s funny?”
“You, sunshine. You’ve always been so stubborn.” You opened your mouth to argue back, but he held up his hand as if to say he wasn’t finished. With a huff, you held back your words. “You guys are fighting because you’re feelings are hurt, whatever, it happens and it’s no big deal. Why are your feelings hurt, y/n?”
“Because he said the only thing I was good for was sex, and then he was all sweet and nice once we made up, but invited another girl on a date? How can you make up with someone and say that you care about them, then kiss another girl like it’s nothing?”
“Just the same as how you can take another guy on a date while you’re in love with him.” He shrugged, knowing he had you in a stalemate.
“I’m not in love with him!” Your voice was shrill, reacting as if the word was poison being forced down your throat. You were lying through your teeth, and even you knew how untruthful your words were.
“Oh, cut the shit, sunshine.” He rolled his eyes, pausing for a moment as the waitress approached you. He gave her a warm smile and ordered for both of you, and within minutes, she was on her way. “You’ve been moping around your house for a week because you broke up with your sort of boyfriend that you’re absolutely not in love with?” When he said it in such a way, you could clearly see how stupid you sounded. With a sigh of defeat, you gave in to the urge to speak the truth.
“Okay, fine, I love him.” Even as you said it, your whole body felt as if it was trying to reject the confession. You shuddered at the word and your palms broke out into a sweat. You ran them across the fabric of your jeans as you tried to calm yourself down. “I do, but I don’t want to, and it scares the shit out of me.”
“Why does it scare you?” He asked, taking a drink from one of the cokes the waitress dropped off. You sipped at the coffee she left behind for you.
“He’s the first person I’ve been with since I left Seth.” You confessed. “I mean, I’ve had one night stands, but never with anyone like him. It’s never been anything like this.”
“It’s never been with someone you’ve cared about.” He deducted.
“Yeah,” You nodded. “When I left Seth, I promised that I would never be with someone like that again. I never wanted anyone to have that type of power over me, and I didn’t want to get close to someone again just to realize that they’re a monster in disguise. It’s easier to be alone than to be alone while in a relationship, and I don’t ever want to suffer that way again.” You stirred some sugar into the mug, watching as the liquid formed a small whirlpool around the metal utensil. “When Jake and I first met, we were both on the same page, but somewhere along the way, the lines got blurred. I’m not innocent, either, and I know that. I was playing house with him and pretending like nothing was wrong, and then he started talking about wanting more, and it scared me so much that I ran. Well, no,” you chuckled “I backed him into a corner and forced him to run.”
“Why are you so scared of him, though? I mean, after this long, and after all of the shit you put each other through, you would be able to see that he’s bad, wouldn’t you?” He played with the paper wrapper that was previously encased around his straw, peeking up from his hands to catch your gaze.
“Maybe? I don’t know.” You sighed, your shoulders slumping with the weight of your emotions. “I’m not scared of him, per say. I’m scared of love, and I’m scared of getting hurt, and I’m scared of losing another person that I care about.”
“Is this about Seth, or is this about your dad?” He asked, voice as quiet as a mouse. He seemed afraid to ask, but more than that, he seemed afraid of your response.
You were stunned for a moment, and the flood of emotion that ran through you was more powerful than anything you’d ever felt. If it were anyone else sitting before you asking that dreaded question, you would have stood and screamed, thrown things from the table just to make a scene and show them how uncalled for the moment was. Instead, you gave a slow blink, but you did not do any of the things you wanted to. While you processed his words, you were plagued with a lifetimes worth of memories that involved the boy sitting across from you. Memories of him holding you while you screamed and cried in your childhood bedroom, clutching your fathers last worn t-shirt tightly to your chest. Memories of his hand in yours while you zombied your way through the funeral proceedings, and memories of him being the only person in the world who could pry a smile from your face while being plagued with such grief.
Even worse than that, there was memories of him sitting at the kitchen table with your father, talking about the football game that aired on television the night before. Ones where Scott would not just drive you to the hospital to visit your father while he succumbed to sickness, but where he walked into the morbid building and sat beside you, your sister and your mother while you tried to cheer your father up during his last days on earth. Scott was allowed to ask that question, not just because of how familiar he was with your grief, but because he grieved, too. Scott may have been a face that was forgotten along with the past, but he was not one that became insignificant. You fought tooth and nail to remove yourself from the life you lived so long ago, but a bond like such carried through until the end of time.
Your heartbreak from Jake may have done more damage than good, but there is always light that shines in the dark. Your breakup allowed for you to sit across the table at a fabled diner with your best friend for the first seventeen years of life. Your time away may have allowed you to forget how much of you he’d seen, but your heart could never forget the importance of his presence.
Instead of screaming, you nodded your head, telling him all you refused to say aloud. He was the only person who you would trust with such things, and despite your unwillingness to speak about it, you knew that he already knew the answer. Seth held little power over you anymore, and your fear of Jake turning out like him was ridiculous, but your dad? He was everything to you. He lived in every decision, every waking moment and thought that crossed your mind. He was a part of every heartbreak and triumph, and his advice rang in your ears every time you second-guessed yourself. The fear of disappointing him was true even after his death, and if anything, it only ever got worse.
More than that, his death crushed you. It left you lying on the floor, cursing every higher power and questioning the very universe that created you. It destroyed any hope and any sense of purpose, and it stole the happiness straight from your chest before it ever had the chance to bloom. You were familiar with loss, but despite it being an acquaintance, it was your own mortal enemy. You knew that it existed, and that it was always looming, but you lived your life in such a way that loss could not touch you. You never let people get too close, and you cut them off before they tried. You distanced yourself from everyone you loved most in hopes of sparing yourself the pain, and you could not even allow yourself to get a pet in anticipation of the crushing grief to come when it was their time to pass on.
The idea of loving Jake scared you so much that it shook you to the core, disrupting your entire life and forcing you to lock him out. The fear did not stem from your inability to love, or because you could not trust your own judgement of his character, but because you could not handle it if he were to suddenly get up and leave. You could not choke down the idea of loving someone enough to hurt after they were gone, and since your father died, no loss could ever come close to the pain you had felt from his death. Now, you knew that Jake leaving was the only pain in the world that could rival the one you had felt so many years ago, housed in your childhood home that held only a ghost of the man you loved most.
“Of course it is, Scott. It’s always about him.” Your throat was dry like you had just screamed out, and your eyes burned as if tears had ran them dry, but none of those things happened; the grief was so plentiful that it had bled you dry, and now it was the only thing to exist within your veins. “I can’t love him because I cannot imagine losing someone again. I can’t imagine how much it would hurt if he walked away, or if… yeah.”
“You don’t have to imagine it, sunshine.” He said, giving you a sympathetic smile. “You’re feeling it right now.”
“I know I am, but I keep trying to convince myself that hurting right now will save me from something worse later on.” You rubbed your face in your hands, wiping away non-existent tears. You felt like you were crying, and you knew you should be, but there seemed to be no tears left to cry.
“Or you’re holding yourself back from the best thing you’ve ever felt.” He offered the alternative, pausing the conversation while the waitress sat your food in front of you. He muttered a thank you, and once again, she was on her way. “Sure, leaving first ensures that he can’t leave you, but it also kills any possibility of happiness. What you’re doing right now limits you from a world of good; everything good comes with risk, y/n, and from what you’re telling me, he seems worth the risk.”
“He is. He’s worth it all.” You nodded, biting into a French fry. Despite your sorrow, you felt better than you had in days. “And I am worried about that pain, because I’m scared I can’t survive it again, but what I’m worried about most is that I’m too broken for him to handle. I don’t know how to love someone, Scott. It’s been five years since I’ve even let someone stay in my life for more than a weekend. Maybe I did all of those years ago, but not anymore. I’m angry, and I’m stubborn, and I’m more work than I’m worth. It’s not fair to him, and as much as I fear him breaking my heart, I’m even more afraid of breaking his.” You explained. “He’s been hurt, too. He deserves the world, and I’m not the person that can give it to him. He needs someone who has their shit together, and I’ve never once had all of my ducks in a row.”
“You can’t make that decision for him, y/n.” He said, taking a bite from his own meal. He let the words sit with you for a moment before speaking again. “I know you, and all you’ve ever wanted to do was protect people. It’s incredibly amicable, but sometimes you have to let them choose for themselves. To me, it sounds like he thinks you’re worth the risk, too.”
“I can’t do that to him.” You shook your head. “Sure, he’s choosing for himself, but I don’t think he knows what he’s getting into.”
“After this long, he knows, y/n, and he doesn’t care.” He assured you. “Listen, I know how guys think: if he was in this for any lesser purpose, he would have left a long time ago. If he did not care about you, he would not have shown up at the restaurant that night. That look in his eye was more than jealousy; it was the type of love that drives you insane. Don’t think you breaking up with him will get rid of that.”
“How do I stop being afraid?” You asked, in disbelief of the fact that he thought it was simple. “I’ve been afraid my whole life, it’s not just something I can turn off, even if I wish it was.”
“You never stop being afraid, sunshine. You just have to love each other enough that it doesn’t matter anymore.”
The meal went by without any further talks of Jake or your last heartbreaks. Instead, you filled the air with jokes and laughter, and gratitude for being in each others lives again. Although your relationship was rekindled for poor reasons, you were still thankful that you got the chance to be around him again. When the check came, you fulfilled your promise to repay him for the dinner cut short. When you climbed back into his car, you felt dread settle in your stomach. You weren’t ready to go home; you had been alone for days, and while that was something you normally loved, you’d now grown to hate it. You felt so happy to be with company that the idea of going home to an empty house sickened you. Worse yet, you did not know if you could go back and suffer through your relentless thoughts about Jake.
The drive home was filled with loud music, both of you singing along at the top of your lungs. You managed to convince him to stop at a coffee shop, claiming that you needed more caffeine to survive the day, but it was only to avoid the inevitable. When you made it back to the suburbs that you called home, your body felt heavy with the weight of your own loneliness. He pulled into your driveway, slowly rolling the car to a stop before he put it into park.
“Thank you, Scott.” You mumbled, looking down at your hands settled in your lap.
“No need for thanks,” he brushed you off “I hope I helped.”
“You did.” You nodded. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I definitely feel better.”
“You don’t need to know right now.” He assured you. “You can take all the time you need; it’s your life, sunshine.”
“You’re right.” You breathed, forcing a smile on to your face. “I’m sorry things ended up like this. It wasn’t my intent for you to be my own personal therapist.”
“It was meant to work out like this.” He shrugged. “I’m just happy I get to see you again. Watching your life through limited Facebook posts was sad. I missed my friend, and that’s the biggest reason I asked you out.”
“I missed you, too. I think I would really like it if we hung out more often.” You confessed. “I’ve been far too isolated. I’m too young to be so afraid of being alive.”
“You’re right,” he agreed, leaning across the seats to give you a hug. You rested in his arms for a moment, soaking up all of the physical contact you could before having to retreat inside. “I’ll see you soon?” He asked, pulling back just enough to catch sight of your face.
“Of course. Thank you again.” You gave him one last smile before making your departure, feeling your stomach sink more with every step you took towards the front door.
You had no idea what to do, and a part of you felt like you should call Jake and at least apologize for all that happened. Still, there was a bigger, more stubborn part of you that still believed he was better off without you. Once you locked the door and you were safely inside, you heard Scott pull out of your driveway and begin his journey home. You kicked off your shoes and threw your purse down on your kitchen counter. You reached into the pocket of your sweater, letting your fingers linger on your phone for a moment. You wanted to pull it out, to dial Jake’s number from memory and confess everything your heart felt for him. For a while, you sat in the kitchen, clutching your phone and unable to find the strength to go any further.
You loved him, but you loved him enough that you could not bear the thought of dragging him down with you. He was too good, and you were too much. The thought alone made tears pool in your eyes and your bottom lip begin to quiver. You wondered if your dad was looking down on you, proud of you for being the bigger person, or if he was disappointed in you for letting another good thing pass you by.
Then, the most painful thought of all struck you out of nowhere: he would never get the chance to meet Jake and grow to love him like you did.
You knew your father would be Jake’s biggest fan; his kind heart and his lax attitude was loveable no matter who he was using it on, and his love of music and talent on the guitar would win your dad over indefinitely. Jake was the type of guy your father had begged you to fall in love with, but he surely did not anticipate you being too broken to love him back.
Suddenly, the thoughts and the feelings got to be too much and you had to force yourself out of them. Instead of calling Jake, you shut off your phone. Instead of being the bigger person and confessing your love, you climbed into bed fully clothed and searched for the scent of him in your bedsheets. Instead of growing up and forgetting your fear, you closed your eyes and fell asleep while trying to remember what it felt like to have his arm wrapped around you.
When you woke, the sun was no longer shining through the window. Instead, the moonlight was plentiful and it casted a white glow over your bedroom, illuminating the sadness and the emptiness that now lived inside. You were groggy, barely within the plane of existence, but you tried your best to shake off the feeling. You were certain you heard a soft thud sound from the kitchen, but you chalked it up to you remaining amidst a dream despite being conscious, now. You tumbled from your bed, planting your feet firmly on the floor as you stretched out your arms and let out a yawn. When you stepped out of your room and into the bathroom to brush your teeth, you thought that you heard the sound again. You brushed it off, knowing that the likelihood of it being anything important was slim. The idea of someone knocking on your door was laughable, and you did not want to torture yourself by checking to see and being met with nothing.
You rinsed your mouth and wiped away the specs of mascara that had fallen underneath your eyes. You let out a sigh at your reflection, grabbing a a makeup wipe and ridding yourself of all the makeup. You washed your face and moved on to the kitchen, where you grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the fridge and began pouring yourself a glass. It had become a nightly routine, and you knew that with a few shots, you’d be back to sleep in no time.
As you dropped the ice into your glass you heard the noise again, but stronger this time. It caught your attention so fast that you could not doubt that it was real. You wondered if Scott had driven back to your side of town to check on you, or if maybe your mother had come over to see if you were alive. You had been ignoring her calls and messages, and although you knew you should answer, you could not bring yourself to do it. You took a sip of your drink before stepping towards the door, using it as a bit of courage to face another social interaction. Your fear of being alone no longer existed, and the longer you stayed holed up in your house, the more tempting isolation seemed.
You unlocked the deadbolt and the knob, wondering who would be here so late at night if not for a friend. Lately, friends were scarce and you had little idea who could be there. When you opened the door fully, getting a clear view of who was on the other side, you nearly fell to your knees. You were frozen, stuck staring at his face as you processed the fact he was really standing there, the corners of his lips upturned into a small, breathtaking smile. He seemed just as happy to see you, but he did not make a move to greet you first. Eventually, you mustered enough courage to speak.
“Hi,” you breathed, completely taken aback by the boy in front of you. After days of missing him, wondering if you would ever be lucky enough to see him again, you had a hard time believing that the man before you was real. In some strange way, it felt like he was a figment of your exhausted and worn down imagination. You feared that if you reached out and touched him, he would disappear before your very eyes. You did not want to be met with any more disappointment, because in the last week, that was all you felt. If he were to suddenly fade away, you thought that you might not be able to survive it. The sight of his face was the most comforting thing you had seen since he was last with you, and the knowledge that he was still thinking of you made you weak in the knees.
“Hi, sweetheart.” He said, giving you a soft smile. “Can I come in?”
“Yeah, of course.” You nodded, stepping out of the way to allow him inside. You tried not to think about the butterflies running rampant in your belly at the sound of the pet name. He stepped towards you, out of the warm night air and into the comfort of your home that he’d grown so used to. You watched his face, dazed at his beauty and wondering how you ever forced yourself to let him go. He had a bag slung over his shoulder and a look in his eyes that you could not place. You weren’t sure if you’d ever seen it before, but you liked it more than you cared to admit.
Then, before he spoke again, you had a sudden sense of dread wash over you; he was likely only there to retrieve his clothing he had left behind. The ache in your chest at the thought was unbearable, but you forced yourself to remain calm and allow him to do what he needed to do.
“You’re here to get your stuff?” You asked, trying to hide your feelings of frustration and sound as cheerful as possible. If only you could tell him how much you cared, maybe he wouldn’t clear out the only remaining memories of your relationship. You hated how much you had grown to like his life being intertwined with your own in such ways. He furrowed his eyebrows, looking over your face as he tried to place the emotion behind your eyes.
“No, angel.” He chuckled, dropping his bag down on the floor. You listened to the sound, realizing that if anything, it sounded quite full. A rush of relief ran through you, even if you knew you should have wanted him to clear out all of his belongings. It was for the best, even if you did not want him to leave again, especially for good.
“Oh,” you breathed, trying to compute what was happening. “So… why are you here?” You hated that it came out so harsh, and it was not at all what you were intending, but it did get your point across clearly. You were confused, you were still hurting, and more than anything, you wanted to know what his intent was.
He stepped closer to you, so close that you could feel the heat radiating from his body. Then, he reached up, letting the knuckle of his index finger softly caress your cheek. You let your eyes flutter closed at the feeling, the sensation intoxicating and when mixed with the scent of his cologne, deadly. He tucked your hair behind your ear as he noticed pieces falling from the messy bun sat atop your head. After that, his hand drifted towards your neck, settling gently on the back of it as he drew you closer to him.
You were too weak to fight him, and too tired to care. You missed his comfort more than anything, and you did not want to deny yourself the pleasure after you had suffered so much.
“You look tired, sweetheart.” He said, studying your face. He could see the dark circles forming, and the fire in your eyes he loved so much now seemed dim, nearly burnt out. Your head was upturned to meet his gaze, and he was looking down at you. In another universe, you would even go as far as to say that the two of you seemed to fit together with perfect harmony. “Have you been sleeping?”
“Not really.” You shook your head ever so slightly, fighting the urge to reach out and touch him. You noticed the same tell-tale signs in his own features. “Have you?”
“No.” He said, still staring intently at your face. He missed it so much that he was trying to memorize every detail all over again. Unintentionally, you felt yourself leaning into him. His face was so close, and your eyes were begging to close as you pulled him in for a kiss. He felt it just as much, and he was hoping you would cross the invisible boundary you had drawn for yourself. You were in such close proximity that you could feel the warmth of his breath on your skin, drawing you in further. The tip of your nose brushed against his, sending jolts of electricity through your whole body.
It was so good that you almost fell victim to him once again.
“Jake,” you breathed, pulling back from him and placing a soft hand on his chest so he would keep his distance. The separation was painful, but necessary. “We can’t do this. Friends don’t do this.” Tears pricked your eyes at the term of friendship, but you managed to blink them away before any slipped onto your cheeks.
“Right,” he sighed, nodding against you and accepting your words. Before you knew it, he had stepped out of reach and you were left wishing that you never spoke at all. You watched him move away from you, still questioning if you were dreaming or of conscious mind. For a second, you feared that he would walk towards the door and out of your life again. The grief at the thought alone was debilitating. Then, he bent down and unzipped the top of his track bag. You watched as he carefully pulled something from it, looking over the item for a moment before turning back to you. When he straightened up and made a move to face you again, you nearly fell to your knees. “That’s actually why I came here.” He said, clearing his throat to rid himself of the nervousness plaguing him.
He extended his hand towards you, watching you closely in fear of a volatile reaction. He had brought up the idea once before and you had confirmed your distaste for it, but he could not seem to help himself. He thought you deserved it. He thought that you were worth it. Your eyes were glued to the brown paper that was delicately wrapped around a bouquet of red roses. You were so stunned that you could not even manage to look up to meet his gaze.
How could he do that to you? How could he walk in like nothing happened with a bouquet of roses and a tongue as sharp as a knife? Sweetness dripped from his words and his actions, but you were in no state of mind to receive such treatment from him. His gestures were profound and you adored him for it, but it was not what you needed when you were dedicated to getting over him.
“Jake,” you warned, saying his name like it was the only hymn you knew how to sing. He appeared so ethereal, so beautiful and bright while he held the token of love, but you were not enough of a fool to believe that it could be true. His angelic smile and his breathtaking eyes were nowhere near anything holy, and you had learned the truth a long time ago. He was not good for you, and you were not good for him. You both knew it, but he did not want to accept it. By showing up and handing out grand gestures, he was only worsening the suffering.
“Stop it, y/n.” He said, giving you a stern look. “Take them, please. I spent so long picking them out that it would be a shame for them to go to waste.” Your heart sped at his words, realizing that the longer you looked, the less it seemed like the bouquet was a thoughtless, last minute purchase on his way over. The paper was arranged beautifully amidst the blood red petals and emerald stems and leaves. Tied around the stems was twine that was carefully cut and settled into a bow. You were not a background thought in his head; he had gone to an expensive florist and pondered over dozens of flowers to bring to you. He picked them with care and caution, wondering what would catch your eye the most.
He cared enough to spend the time and the money on you, but what was even worse than that was that he was the first person to ever give you a bouquet of flowers. How could you get over him when he’d been the first man in the world other than your father to care so much about you?
“Friends don’t give each other flowers.” You said, looking hesitantly towards his face.
“You’re right, y/n. Friends don’t give each other flowers.” He sighed, still holding his arm out to you. “I’m giving these to you because we’re not friends, and you and I both know that.”
“No, Jake.” You shook your head, crossing your arms across your stomach and hugging yourself to satiate the steadily growing anxiety. “I told you, we can’t do that. I’m not good for you. This isn’t good for us.” You shook your head, panicking at the idea of hurting each other again. He was too fantastic to be subject to the hurt the two of you were so good at causing.
“Would you quit that? Stop being so fucking stubborn.” He argued, getting visibly frustrated. “You don’t get to decide what’s good for me. You don’t get to choose if I want to be with you or not. Only I can, and I’m choosing you, y/n. I’m standing here in front of you, telling you that I am, and that I will choose you every day for the rest of my life. You don’t get to tell me that we can only be friends, and you don’t get to tell me that this won’t work. You can’t always call the shots. I get a say, too.”
“I’m not telling you what to do, I’m just saying that this is only going to hurt us! I’m trying to protect you, and I wish you could see that!” You exclaimed, trying to ward off the temptation to run into his arms. His words were devastatingly beautiful and everything you had ever longed to hear, but you could not be selfish and bring him down with you.
“Protect me from what?” He shot back, appalled at your inability to comprehend what he was saying. “You? Myself? Us?”
“Everything! I don’t know!” You were exasperated by his reaction, not able to understand how he could not see it the same way you did. Two people that hated love could not love each other peacefully. You had proven that with your jealousy and toxic games, and you cared about him far too much to involve him in such things. The sin the two of you had engaged in had left you both resembling the devil, and you feared that if you let it go any further, you would turn to ash in the barren, fiery wastelands of hell.
“I shouldn’t have left that night, y/n. I never should have let you go, but I didn’t want to push you, and I didn’t want to scare you away. It was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, but I’m here now to tell you everything I need to say. I have to get it off my chest, because if I don’t, it’s going to haunt me for the rest of my life. If you still think that it’s for the best, then I’ll let you go, but not until I tell you everything.” You watched him, pain written so clearly on your face. You did not have the heart to turn him down, and you did not have the strength to keep up the act. You wanted him so badly that it was impossible to send him away, and his persistence was charming despite your hesitancy.
“Okay.” You nodded, choking on the word as it fell from your lips. You knew that whatever he had to say would turn your whole world upside down, but for some reason, you were okay with it. When in his company, even if he was causing peacefulness or devastation, it seemed right. You could comfortably watch him tear your house down one panel at a time, and you would have a smile on your face and love in your heart because you were there with him. You reached out, slowly wrapping your fingers around the bouquet. Your hand brushed against his as you did, the burning warmth of his skin sending a shiver down your spine. You had no idea how even the simplest of interactions with him always seemed so magnificent. “Thank you, Jake.” You looked down at the petals, tears shining in your eyes as you digested the sentiment that came along with the gift.
Now that you held them, it made the moment all the more real. Jake was a man who cared about you so deeply that it made you question if he was even real. You had never felt emotion so strongly, good or bad. He made everything a million times more powerful, and even something as small as buying you flowers seemed to knock the air from your lungs and make your knees weak. You had never felt so important to anyone in your entire life, and as good as it felt, you feared that if it ever came to an end, you would perish from the grief of the loss.
“You keep saying that you want to protect me, but there’s nothing you have to protect me from, y/n. I’m a grown man who understands what I’m getting myself into, and I’m telling you that I don’t care about the risks.” He watched you take a step towards the kitchen, following closely behind you as you moved to set the flowers on the counter. Once they were safely placed, you turned to look at him again, giving him all of your attention. “When I met you at the bar that night, I wasn't looking for anything but sex. We both know that, and I don’t feel a need to lie about it. When I sat down and I finally got you to talk to me, I knew right away that you were going to be more than sex. You can’t just meet someone so fantastic and pretend they’re ordinary, angel, and you are all but ordinary.” Your stomach twisted in knots at his words, but you bit down on your tongue and listened as he poured his heart out to you.
“You are the most beautiful, smart, witty, and charming woman I have ever met. You take my breath away every time I see you, and you make me feel things I’ve never felt before in my entire life. I could go on about how I feel about you forever, but it still wouldn’t even come close to how I feel in my heart. I don’t think there’s enough words in the dictionary to describe how much I care for you.” He was close to you, but not enough that you felt trapped. There was about a foot of space between you, and you would never say it, but you were desperate for him to come closer. Your eyes were focused on his face as he spoke. The emotion in his eyes was so profound that you could feel it as if it were your own. “I know I promised you that I wouldn’t fuck this up, and I’m sorry that things happened the way they did, but falling for you was the easiest thing I have ever done. I was yours before we ever left the bar that night, and as much as you don’t want me to be, I can’t apologize for something I don’t believe is wrong. I am sorry that I broke my promise, but I have never been sorry for caring about you.”
“I’ve spent the last three months trying to memorize every detail about you because I want to know everything you have to offer. I know that you hate breakfast, because it’s too intimate, and emotional intimacy scares the shit out of you. I know that you have the exact same routine before bed; you turn on your fan to the third setting, because the fourth is too loud and the second isn’t enough. Then, you climb into bed and you check your phone, but not for texts or social media likes. You check your schedule, just to make sure you’re not forgetting about an appointment with a client, because your work means everything to you. Then, you get up again because you can remember if you locked the door or not, and you make sure the oven is off for the fifth time while you’re out there. When you get back into bed, you toss and turn for twenty minutes until you eventually end up on your stomach, because that is the only way you can fall asleep.” As he told you the most miniscule details about yourself, your ego shattered and the shards of what once was so strong seemed to stab you with every breath. Nobody had ever cared to know you so well, and he was recounting it like he’d dedicated his whole life to studying it.
“Your sister is your whole life, and you mark off the days on your calendar just so you can count down the hours until she comes home to visit. You only ever sit on the left side of the couch, and you have about a dozen half-empty water bottles beside your bed because you forget about your open one and grab a new one every night. When you laugh, you cover your mouth with your hands and you try to keep it to yourself. I don’t know why, because it’s the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. You play with your hair when you’re nervous, and you blush when you lie.” As he spoke, your hand darted away from the ends of your hair as if it had just burned you.
“Stop, Jake.” You whispered, feeling sick at the sheer amount of knowledge he had about you.
“No, y/n.” He shook his head. “I’ll never stop talking about you, because knowing you so well is the best feeling in the whole world, especially because I know I’m the only one who does. I could talk about you for hours, because I think everyone should know how fantastic you are. I know all of this stuff, and I still want more. You can call me selfish, but I don’t care. I want to spend my life getting to know you, and I will be eighty years old and still wanting to learn something new about you.” He explained, hoping you were understanding what he meant. “Friends don’t know each other like this, sweetheart, and it would be a fucking shame if we tried to be strangers again after everything we’ve been through. Knowing you any less than I do right now seems like torture, and I don’t ever want to do that.”
“I’m not scared of you, and I’m not scared of this. I’ve spent every day since I first met you falling for you, and now, it’s the most comfortable feeling I’ve ever felt. You don’t get to tell me that I’d be happier without you, or as friends, or with someone else, because it’s just not true. You are what I want, and I know you have to feel it, too. I’ve never felt this way before, and I know we’ve both been hurt, and I know that you’re scared, but you can’t tell me that this isn’t good for us. We haven’t even tried, angel. If you let me, I can show you that love is not as scary as it seems, because we’ve already been doing it.”
“Jake,” you let out a shaky breath, your eyes shining with tears as you tried to process all he was saying. His name seemed like the only thought your brain could formulate.
“Baby, you are everything to me. I’m here, and I want to stay if you’ll let me. I’m not going anywhere, and I’m not going to hurt you like everyone else has. I know that I already have, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it right, but I promise that I will never do that to you again.” He took a small step towards you, gauging your comfort before he jumped straight into it. “I know that you don’t like this part, but I would be an idiot if I didn’t ask you to try. I want to be what you deserve, and I want to be with you, more than I’ve ever wanted anything my whole life.” He reached out, lifting your chin up with his index finger to look in your eyes. “All I’m asking for is one chance. One shot to prove that I’m telling the truth. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I left you here, and I don’t think I ever will.”
He cared, and he cared so much that he was willing to get his heart broken all over again for the chance to have you. He did not want to promise you love and then leave, nor did he want to pretend to be all you needed just to take it away. He wanted you, and loving you was all he ever wanted to do. Jake had never been the enemy; you only had yourself to blame, ruining your chances at happiness before the opportunity ever arose. You were hurt, guarded and protective over your own frail heart, but he did not want to shatter it like you previously thought. He wanted to help strengthen it again, to show you that your heart would be safe as long as it was offered to the right people. He wanted to love you like you always should have been, and Scott was right that night at the restaurant; what the two of you had was a type of love that you should never let go of. He was the most selfless, caring and kind man you had ever met, and if you let him leave once more, you knew you would lose him forever.
“Okay.” You breathed, nodding your head as your heart drummed rapidly against your chest. You were terrified, but being in his company made the fear obsolete. The look in his eyes aided you in believing that you would be more than okay, and that he would be better than anyone who came before. You felt like you were being crushed underneath the weight of your own longing for him. “I’ll try for you, Jake.” There was no doubt in your mind that you would try until your body began to deteriorate and your mind went numb. You would try for him until you could no longer do it and death was the only other option. You would do anything to experience love at his hand again, because it was the most beautiful thing you had ever experienced.
“Yeah?” He asked with a little laugh stuck in his throat that screamed disbelief.
“Yes,” you nodded, praying that he would bridge the gap. Before you could ask him to come closer, his hands shot out and grabbed your face between them, still gentle with you as if he was scared to break you. He stepped forward, and within seconds, his lips were locked on your own and your arms were around him again. The taste of him was addicting, more than any other drug in the world. The feeling of his skin on your was intoxicating, and his hands felt like heaven when they touched you with such care. You were helplessly in love with him, and no amount of time or distance could change it. He was everything you needed, all of the time, and you were an idiot to try and push him away.
When he parted, you were both breathless and smiling. He was still close enough to your face that you could feel his warmth, and you hoped that he never had to pull back. You wanted to live in the bliss forever, and with him until the end of time.
“I want to try, Jake. I’m so scared, but I want to try as long as it’s with you.” The quiver in your voice was louder than anything else in the room, and he drank up the vulnerability as if he was dying from thirst. “I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want to get hurt, but you were right; we can’t let go of this without giving it our best. I’ve been so terrified of losing you that it’s made me blind to how much I care, and I don’t ever want to feel how I felt this week ever again.” All he could do was smile; there was no words to describe the relief he felt.
“I knew you were something more, too. You came in here and suddenly my house felt empty without you. I hate love and relationships, but you make me hate the idea a lot less. I want to try, and I want us to try together, but I want it to work. I don’t want to give up when things get hard, and I don’t want to fight or make each other suffer. I want to be with you, and I want to do it right, this time.” You confessed, all of the words pouring from you with no signs of stopping. “I’m scared to fall in love with you because I was scared of losing you, but I’m doing it anyway by forcing you to stay away. You’re worth the risk, Jake. You always have been, and I’m so sorry that I couldn’t say it sooner.”
“You’re saying it now.” He breathed, almost unable to believe that the words were genuine. When he showed up at your doorstep, he expected to be met with rejection. Instead, you were telling him everything he craved to hear from you. It was almost too good for him to believe that it was true. “That’s what matters, angel.” He placed another kiss to your lips, lingering there for a moment to soak up all of the intimacy he could. “I want that, too. I’ve done it wrong so many times, but I want to do it right this time. I want to do it right with you.”
“I missed you so much.” You admitted, reaching up and cupping his cheek in your hand. You let your thumb drift over the soft skin, wondering how you ever survived without him around.
“You don’t have to miss me anymore. I’m here, and I want to stay.” You closed your eyes, fighting back tears at the sound of his words. He was here, he wanted to stay, and he wanted to love you. You were so lucky to have him, and you were so stupid to think that you could let him go. One of his hands dropped to your hip, his fingers gently grasping at you as he attempted to pull you closer. “I’m going to say it.”
“Say what?” You giggled, peeking at him through tired eyes. You were exhausted, finally comfortable after days of suffering and sleepless nights, but you weren’t willing to end the moment yet. You would never sleep again if it meant you could always be with him, just like you were in that moment.
“I love you, sweetheart.” A wave of emotion washed over you, stopping your heart and filling your lungs. You watched his face, seeing in his eyes that he’d never meant anything more in his life. It was a word you’d banished so long ago, and it was something that you were certain you could live without. Now that he was in front of you, saying it in the same sweet tone he always used, you could not imagine a life without hearing it every day. You had no idea why you were so afraid of it, or why you were so afraid of him. He was the whole world, and you knew that from the very beginning. His devilish charm and intoxicating attitude made it impossible not to love him, and you knew that any woman would jump at the chance to have him. You were the luckiest person to ever live, and you could not picture loving anybody else the way you loved him.
“I love you, Jake.” You whispered, softly and slowly, making sure he heard every syllable. He had been waiting so long to hear it that you could not deny him of it for one more second.
He barely had time to smile before his lips were back on yours, hungrier than the last. You slipped your hand to the back of his neck, tangling your fingers in the locks of his hair. It was different than any other kiss you shared before; it tasted like freedom and it was laced with the notion of letting go. For the first time since you met him, you felt like you could show all of yourself to him. There were no barriers, no doubt nor hesitations. It was just the two of you, enjoying loving each other without fear getting in the way. It was the most beautiful thing you had ever felt, and you never wanted to feel any other way.
Loving Jake was the best thing you had ever experienced, even with the turmoil that you had been through. The pain and the losses were just as important as the good moments and the happiness, because it all led you to where you sat in that moment. The hurt was worth it as long as it meant you could love him, and you would suffer through it all over again just to be able to be loved by him. As his hand slipped under your shirt, settling on the warm skin underneath, you knew that you would never be happier with someone else. He was what you wanted, and any doubt about it was obsolete now.
You could not hold back the moan that slipped into his mouth at the feeling of his hand on you again. The rough, calloused fingertips from his guitar playing felt like heaven against the smooth skin on your body. Now, with the proclamation of love still lingering in the air, every movement and touch was amplified by a million. Your body was on fire, and he barely even touched you. You weren’t sure if it was solely accredited to the vulnerability the two of you shared, or if it was because you’d spent so many days longing to be touched by him. No matter which it was, it did not matter. All that mattered was that he was there, and things were okay.
“Say it again, angel.” He muttered against your lips, still trying to catch his breath.
“I love you,” you breathed, pressing your lips back to his before the words could fully pass through your mouth. His grip on you tightened, ecstatic to hear the sound. “I love you so much.” You said again, unable to hold it back any longer. You wanted to scream your love for him from the highest rooftops, telling the whole world how much he meant to you, but you feared that it still would not be enough. His lips trailed from your lips down to your neck, settling on the sweet spot just below your ear. You let out a breathy moan at the feeling of his tongue on your skin, your hands tightening on him as a silent show of enjoyment.
“We’re gonna have to do this differently now, beautiful.” His voice vibrated against you, making your eyes flutter closed at the light tickle that quickly spread.
“What do you mean?” You asked, still lost in the blissful nature of his touch.
“I can’t fuck you like a whore, anymore.” He said, snaking his hand up your shirt and landing it over your breast clothed only by the thin material of your bra. His thumb found your nipple through the fabric, feeling it harden under his touch. “I have to fuck you like I love you.”
“Can’t you fuck me like a whore anyway?” You challenged, not willing to give up the sex life you had already built with him. He chuckled at the disappointment in your tone, glancing up at you to catch your gaze.
“You like it better that way?” He raised an eyebrow. Your cheeks heated with a blush at the look in his eyes.
“Y-yes, sir.” You nodded.
“I tell you I love you and you behave yourself… maybe I should have said it a long time ago.” He related the two, smiling to himself as he thought about it. “How about I do both? Does that sound good to you, angel?”
“Sure, yeah.” You felt your lips upturn into a smile, happy with anything he was willing to give you.
“Glad we could come to that agreement.” He chuckled, giving your breast a gentle squeeze as he finished speaking. “Now, get in the bedroom and take your fucking clothes off. I’ve got time to make up for, and I don’t feel like waiting any longer.”
“Yes, sir.” You repeated your earlier statement, trying to ignore the ache that began between your legs. He dropped his hand from you, giving you a gentle nudge towards the bedroom. You followed his guidance, letting out a small yelp as his hand collided with your ass as you turned away. You shot him a look over your shoulder as you continued walking away, but he only responded with a wink.
You made quick progress with taking your clothes off, unashamed of your own excitement. You kicked them off to the side, peering out into the kitchen to see if he was following. When you didn’t see him or hear him walking to join you, you stepped towards the door, peeking just your head around it. You gazed out, finding your heart melt at the sight. He was peering through your cupboards, flowers in hand, in search of a vase to put them in. Eventually, he found a suitable holder for them, filling it with water and unwrapping the bouquet. He placed them inside, smiling at his own accomplishment, and turned towards your room.
He caught you staring, finding himself only slightly embarrassed at the thought. He gave you a smile as his cheeks tinged red. “What?” He asked, defending himself when there was no need to.
“Nothing,” you giggled, stepping out from the door frame so he could see you followed his instructions. He took in a sharp breath, surprised that you had been so obedient. Then, his eyes seemed to darken with lust as he got closer to you. “You’re just taking care of things out there like… oh, I don’t know, you love me or something?” He let out a scoff, rolling his eyes at your statement.
“Yeah, as if.” He teased, stepping towards you and scooping you into his arms with one swift motion. You let out a shriek of laughter, slinging your arms around his neck while you wrapped your legs around him. He found himself laughing at you, too. Your joy was infectious, and he wanted to soak up every minute of it. He pressed his lips to yours as he stepped towards the bed, breaking from the kiss for a moment to check over your shoulder and ensure there was nothing on the mattress. When he deduced that the coast was clear, he moved forward so his knees were touching the bed, then he dropped you down on the mattress without warning.
You let out a gasp of surprise as you landed with a thud, bouncing back up slightly from the impact. “What was that for?” Your lip formed into an unintentional pout, displeased with his actions, but he was too busy pulling his shirt over his head to notice.
“This is where the love part comes in.” He explained, chucking as he threw his shirt to the ground. “It’s not just about fucking you until you can’t walk; we get to have fun, too.”
“That wasn’t fun, I could’ve gotten hurt!” You exclaimed, but a smile was tugging at your lips. He unbuttoned his jeans, slipping out of them and kicking them to the side before looking back at you.
“Sweetheart, I would never do anything that would hurt you. You know that.” He scolded, playfulness still dancing in his eyes. He moved closer, climbing onto the bed and hovering atop of you for a moment. “Well, too bad, anyway.” He added, running his fingers over the lingering mark from his belt that was left from the weekend before. “Sorry about that.”
“No need to apologize.” You assured him, the sting of the leather already long forgotten in your mind. “I deserved it.”
“You can be quite a brat,” he agreed, smiling down at you. The chain around his neck dangled in the air and his hair swooped down to frame his face. The sight of him was breathtaking, and you wished you could sear the picture in your mind forever.
“You bring out the worst in me.” You shrugged, distracted by the gleam of emotion in his eye. It was different than before, less animalistic and much more complex. It was love, and even though you did not recognize it yet, you would in the days to come, for it was dancing in your eyes, too.
“I don’t think that’s true, angel.” He argued, leaning down so his lips were hovering over your bare chest. He watched you take in a sharp breath, anticipating his next move with excitement. He placed a soft kiss to the top of your breastbone, slowly making his way downward with the same gentle nature. He brought one hand to your hardened nipple, letting the rough pad of his thumb drift across the sensitive nub. Your back arched upwards in reaction. The feeling was small, and the reaction was not because of the sensation, but rather because he was the one causing it.
He brought his mouth down to your breast, letting his tongue take over for his thumb. Your eyes fluttered closed as the familiar feeling of arousal blossomed in your belly. It was so easy for him to turn you into a mess, and sometimes you wondered if he knew the extent of the power he held over you. He suctioned his lips around the nipple, letting his tongue run over it a few times to let you enjoy the moment. Once you were comfortable and unsuspecting, he let his teeth sink into you ever so slightly. You jumped at the sensation, but he’d already moved on before you could voice a complaint.
He kissed a sloppy trail down to your navel, reveling in the noises that were falling from your lips. Eventually, he paused, looking back up at you through his lashes to soak in your needy expression. His mouth was hovering just over your heat, and the ache between your legs was growing harder to ignore. You needed him, and you did not know if you could wait any longer. “What’s wrong, beautiful?” He asked, the far away look in his eyes telling you how badly he needed to hear you tell him how much you wanted him.
“Need it so bad, Jake.” You squirmed underneath his gaze, finding it almost too powerful to hold. “It’s been so long.”
“You need me?” He purred, the corners of his lips upturned into a smirk. You watched as his eyes flickered from your face to your cunt, the temptation of seeing all of you too much to resist.
“I do, sir.” You pleaded, feeling the arousal begin to push you towards insanity. You could feel his breath on your skin, teasing you without even trying. His mouth was watering from the sight alone, but he wanted to savor the moment for as long as he could. “Please, baby.” You tried again, reaching down and caressing his cheek with your thumb. You thought that the sweetness might coerce him into giving in. The soft brown of his irises were gone, now, blackened with his lust-blown pupils. He wanted you just as bad, and the soft touch of your fingers was forcing him to remember how badly he missed you.
“Do you know how much I thought about this?” He asked, grabbing your hip with one of his hands. He pulled you down ever so slightly, his mouth practically touching you, now. “How badly I wanted to see you like this?”
“How bad, sir?” You played stupid; you knew how much he thought about you because you had thought about him just as much. You wanted to hear it, to know how desperate he was for you when he couldn’t have you.
“I thought about it every night,” he muttered, his eyes now focused on your cunt, clenching around nothing just from the memory of him being inside of you. “I thought about all of those slutty little noises, how pretty you looked with my cock in your mouth.” He listed, biting back a smirk as he noticed your cheeks redden at his words. “I was worried someone else was taking care of you and that pretty little cunt.” He continued, letting a trail of spit fall from his lips onto his fingers. “Did you get someone else to take care of you, sweetheart?”
“No, sir.” You let out a shaky breath, completely enthralled by his devilish charm. The filth he was speaking even seemed to draw you in. At that moment, Jake was the only thing in the world that mattered.
“No?” He asked, almost as if he didn’t believe you. “Couldn’t find anyone else who could do it right?” You let your head fall back on the mattress as you felt his fingers run through your folds. “Nobody else could fuck you like I can, right sweetheart?”
“No, Jake.” You agreed. “Nobody else could fuck me like you can.” He let out a hum of satisfaction at your words, letting his middle and index finger slip inside you as his thumb drifted over your aching clit.
“Why is that?” He questioned, beginning to move his fingers at a slow pace. You were too immersed in the feeling of pleasure he was giving you to notice he spoke again. “Why can nobody else make you feel this way, baby?”
“Because I’m yours, Jake.” You let the possessive claim slip without care. You were his, and you only ever wanted to be his. “Because I love you.” You said, adding on to the original comment.
“Cause you’re all mine, angel.” He agreed, smiling at the thought. He curled his fingers upwards ever so slightly, hitting the sensitive spot inside you he’d grown to know so well. You let out a soft moan, moving your hips down on his hand for more. You were so desperate that under any other circumstances, you would be shameful. Now, with Jake on top of you, you couldn't care less. He knew how badly you needed him whether you said it or not; there was no hiding from Jake, and you were okay with that. “And I love you, too.” A whimper fell from your lips at the sound of his voice saying such sweet words.
“Fuck,” you groaned, feeling your abdomen tense with pleasure. You were so close, and he’d barely even started.
“Already?” He asked, amazed at the thought.
“It’s been a while,” you huffed, still too lost in the euphoria to care. “It feels so fucking good, Jake.”
“Tell me how good it feels, baby. Wanna hear all about it.” He encouraged you as he leaned down, moving his thumb from your clit and replacing it with his tongue.
“Oh, god.” You tangled your hand in his hair, needing more than he could possibly give you. Your whole body was ablaze with sin, once again falling victim to his routine. You tried so hard to stay away, but the truth was, you didn’t want to stay away. He was too fantastic at everything he did, and his company was too pleasurable to deny. You were in lust by the first touch and in love by the first conversation. Jake was something otherworldly, and you knew that from the very beginning. His love outweighed every consequence that you could face in hell. The devil was between your legs, and you were too weak to resist him. He had made you a fool for his sin, but just now were you realizing the extent of the damage.
As his fingers curled inside you again, the prescision in which they moved was almost too much too soon. You bucked your hips upwards against him, feeling the pressure rapidly increase in your stomach. You were right on the edge, and he barely had to try. He hummed against you, showing his appreciation of your enjoyment. Your heart was pounding against your chest, trying to break free from your ribs as he continued his torment. He was evil, but you could not seem to care because the evil was within you, too.
“You taste so fucking good,” he said, pulling back for just a moment to catch his breath. His words resembled a growl more than anything, and his grip tightened on your hip as he pulled you down further towards him.
“It’s all for you, baby.” You sighed, still lost in the feeling of his fingers pumping into you. He withdrew a long breath, trying to keep himself calm at the thought. There was no better feeling in the world than having you all to himself, and he never wanted to take it for granted again. Knowing he nearly lost you was painful, and he would not allow himself to be foolish enough to let you slip through his fingers again.
He returned his mouth to you, suctioning his lips sound your clit and throwing you straight back into euphoria. You tensed at the feeling, your fingers tightening in his hair as his name fell from your lips. You were praying to him as if he was the god that would save you, but he was nothing holy nor was he any force that could liberate you. He was the evil coursing through your veins, forcing you into the sin and coercing you into believing that it was right. He was the only man in the world who could drive you to such pleasure, but having such power told you that he was the exact entity you thought he was the entire time. You loved him too much to walk away, but he was too wicked to survive. As he worked you up to an orgasm, he was sucking the life from you at the same time. He was the very thing that kept your heart beating, and the very thing that would eventually take it away.
You were too far gone to realize you were in the grave; the dirt seemed pillowy and soft, warm and inviting despite the frost nipping at your skin, begging to freeze you there for the rest of eternity. Falling in love with Jake was the most painful death sentence you had ever faced, but he had such a way with his heart that he made death itself seem enjoyable. You were slipping away, but dying at his hands was the most pleasurable experience of your entire life, like it had been the exact thing you were born to experience.
The blissful feeling was so intense that you could feel it pulsing under your skin and behind your eyes. Your stomach was in knots, begging you to let go, but you feared that you would not survive the downfall. His fingers and tongue worked in time with each other to keep you on the edge, nearly pushing you over with every move. You couldn’t contain the orgasm, and he knew how close you were. Seven days without him was torture, and you felt like you had been deprived of your life’s greatest joy. He could feel how close you were; he knew your body better than you knew it yourself. The shallow breathing and the constant trail of moans that were falling from your lips told him all he needed to know, and the clench of your cunt around him solidified the idea. He was desperate for it, and you could feel that in the prescision of his movements.
“Jake,” you groaned, squeezing your eyes shut as your head dropped to the mattress. “M’gonna cum.” You warned. He gave your hip a gentle squeeze, but did not change up his movements. It was his way of giving you silent permission to do so. With a ragged breath and an insatiable burning in your chest, your legs began to tremble from the intensity of the pleasure. All of your muscles were tense and every nerve in your body felt like it was on fire. After seven days of suffering, all of the pain and suffering seemed to be disappearing from your body the longer he carried on.
His name fell from your lips, mixed with a slur of curses and moans. The obscenities painted the walls with your sin, dripping down and ensuring they would remain in the foundation of the home until the end of time. There was not a single thing in the room that was not tainted with the wicked energy the two of you were exuding. He held you to him, ensuring you could soak up every second of pleasure the climax had to offer. You felt like you were going mad; your mind was a mess with thoughts all pertaining to the boy nestled between your legs. You feared that the intensity would never pass, your limbs aching with the rigid nature of your muscles and your lungs desperate for air.
Eventually, when he began to taper off his movements, the sensation began to fade. You relaxed against the mattress, finally able to fill your lungs with oxygen. When he pulled away from you completely, you were too dazed to notice the loss of contact. Your eyes were closed, your chest rising and falling as you tried to catch up with the breaths you were deprived of momentarily. Your legs continued to tremble with the ghost of your orgasm and your stomach was still twisted into knots of pleasure. He did not move from his position, but instead got on his knees rather than laying on his stomach. His eyes were heavy with lust, crazed by the state you were in. He thought there was no way he’d be able to forget the way you looked when you were fucked out and drunk off him. It was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen.
Before you even came back to reality, he was lining himself up with your entrance. He guided your legs around him with little help from you, bracing his arm on the bed just beside your head. “You’re not giving up on me yet, are you angel?” He rasped, even his voice husky with the desire he was feeling for you. You managed to crack your eyes open at the sound of his voice, the sound too beautiful to ignore.
“I’m okay,” you promised, now focused on the feeling of his cock resting against you. The idea of fucking him was enough to give you the energy to continue on. “I promise.” You said, reaching up to touch his face. The feeling caused his eyes to flutter closed and a smile to blossom on his lips.
“That’s my girl.” He crooned, savouring the sensation only for a second before he was pushing himself inside of you. As much as he wished to live in the moment forever, he could not wait any longer. You both let out a hiss of relief, already needing more than you could have. “You always feel so fucking good.” He groaned, beginning at a slow pace. As much as he teased you for being so close so soon, he felt just the same. Seven days for him felt like an eternity without you, and he never wanted to experience it again. His hips moved slowly, but powerfully. The angle he had your hips settled at allowed him to reach a depth that made your head spin.
“J-just want to make you feel good, sir.” You whined, the sensitivity making his movements feel all the more enjoyable. His eyes darkened further at your words, the obedience driving him crazy. He’d never heard you be so submissive, and he wasn’t shy about his new found love for it. Not once had he gotten you into bed and did not hear a single argument or snide comment, but despite his love for the obedience, he couldn’t help but miss the sharp tongue you so often could not keep a hold of. He loved you for all of you, even your naturally argumentative self and your tendency to talk back. He was in love with everything you had to offer, and he knew that he always would be.
To make the devil fall in love is a daunting task, but within a few weeks, you had made yourself an expert in doing so.
“Yeah? You like being a little whore for me?” He asked, adding a little more power behind his thrusts. His cock brushed against your cervix, causing you to wince at the painful type of pleasure that shot through you. “You like it when I use you for whatever I want?”
“God, yes.” You muttered, looking up to meet his eyes. The sexual tension between you was so strong that it was hard to think of anything else, but there was something deeper, now. Connection, understanding, and love. The two of you had overcome the only barrier that had ever held you back. Fear was obsolete, replaced with the desire to know and to care. It was freeing, and the world seemed full of endless possibilities, now. You could not believe you had let the anxieties hold you back from something so wonderful and so fulfilling.
Then again, you knew that beneath the elation of your realizations, Jake was the one behind it all. The fear would never have left had he not been the one who you fell for. The risk would not be worth it if it were someone else between your legs, staring down at you with such admiration. Love was not worth it unless he was the one on the recieving end, nor would it be worth it if someone else were trying to give it to you. You knew that all you feared would be kept safe, locked up in his heart for eternity the same as it was in your own. He would keep every secret, every promise, and every failure safe. He would protect it as if his life depended on it, because he did not want anyone else to know all that he knew about you. He did not want anyone else to have the chance to have you like he did, and he did not want you to think that he was not the person he made you believe he was.
Your trust was the most important to him, and your love came second to that. He wanted you to depend on him, to let him in when the days seemed dark and dreary. He wanted you to share every tear and pain that you felt in your body, and he wanted you to share every failure and mistake. He wanted the goodness, but he wanted all of the bad, too. He loved you not just for your triumphs and successes, but also for your darkest moments. He wanted to be the person you could pour your heart into, no matter if it was happiness or sadness. He wanted you in your entirety, and he would love you through every single moment of your life, and even long beyond that.
The two of you went in search of sex, something to fill the void that was steadily growing in your hearts. You wanted casual without commitment, because neither of you yearned to bear your souls to another. Your sadness, your heartbreaks and your hurt had turned you cold, and made it so you wanted to keep everyone locked out. Intimacy in the emotional aspect scared the both of you beyond comprehension, yet in your search to find something to satiate the isolation, you had found so much more. In each other, you discovered all that you feared yet all that you needed all in the same place. You were terrified of love, yet craved it so badly it made your chest ache and your head spin. You were full of mistrust, yet desperate to find someone you could share your life with without fear.
It was not your job to seek love, but it had always been your duty to break down all of the barriers that prohibited it from entering your lives. In the three months of knowing each other, you did not intend or purposely search for love within each other, but you did break down every wall and defense you had built up prior to meeting each other. Because of that, love flowed in easily and endlessly, and the two of you were able to do the very thing you swore you would never do again.
Within each other, you found home. You found a hiding place, somewhere to rest and put down the burden of life for a while. You found friendship, connection, and purpose. You found a way to conquer your biggest fears and push your own boundaries enough to allow another inside.
In Jake, you had found everything you ever needed.
In you, he found everything he ever dreamed of.
Somewhere in the universe, the divine had found a way to forgive you for the wrongdoing and allow you a moment of peace. But, evil does not rest even when it seems like it has. Beneath the surface, the wicked forces were still working overtime to turn you rotten to the core. You had engaged in so much sin that your entire life was encrypted with it. Satan himself would draw back in fear if he looked into your eyes, yet the two of you were so blissfully ignorant to the fact that you felt as though you had repented enough to free yourself from the darkness.
“Come here, angel.” He said, pulling out of you for a moment. There it was again; the heavenly connotation to a woman so evil her own skin turned red.
He collapsed on the bed beside you, reaching out and pulling you on top of him. You were so distraught with the loss of contact that you let out an audible whine, but you did not have to suffer for too long. He guided your legs on either side of him, helping you position yourself so you could continue fucking. You planted your hand firmly on his chest, holding yourself up as he lined himself up with your entrance. His hands landed on your hips, his warm touch searing your cool skin. Without warning, he pulled you down on him with a strength that made your head spin. You let out a moan, telling him how good it felt when he filled you up in such a way.
“That’s better, sweetheart.” He muttered, helping you move your hips to maintain a steady rhythm. Once you were able to keep up the pace yourself, he removed one hand from you and brought it to your clit. He let his finger begin slow circles, encouraging you silently as you rode both of you into an orgasm. “Does that feel good?”
“Feels so good, sir.” You panted, grinding your hips downwards onto him. His jaw was tense, his teeth clenched tightly as he focused on the way your body was moving on him. First, he admired your face. The twisted expression of pleasure was enough to send him into a climax, but he managed to hold himself back, wanting to enjoy you for just a little while longer. Your lips were parted slightly as obscenities fell from your tongue, dripping down onto him and drowning him in the sinful sounds. His gaze trailed down your neck, taking in every available inch of exposed skin. He studied the way the columns of your neck flowed down into your collarbones, and all the way down to your breasts which were bouncing with every movement of your body. He wanted you to be in the position solely so he could admire you without any obstruction of view.
His eyes trailed down your stomach, watching your muscles tense with the pleasure that you were feeling. He looked down at his hand anchored around your hip, his fingers digging into the skin with a promise to leave finger-shaped bruised by the morning. He could not deny the feeling of euphoria at the thought of your body being marked with memories of him for days to come. Eventually, his gaze landed on your cunt, where his hand was delicately coaxing an orgasm and your hips were jointed with his, the two of you intertwined in the most intimate and intoxicating way.
You were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and he could not hold the thought to himself. If he had to hide it, he thought he might die from the pressure of the notion pulsing against his skull.
“You’re the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.” He said, the words almost caught in his throat as he tried to speak them. The emotion in the room was heavy, weighing both of you down and inevitably pushing you even closer together. “I love you, y/n.” The profound nature of his words made your head spin and your heart skip a beat. You looked down, catching his eyes and seeing the sincerity pooling in his gaze.
“I love you, Jake.” You whispered, your hips stuttered as you spoke. You felt locked in, like your eyes could not look away from him even if your life depended on it. “I love you so much.” You repeated, the words freeing and lifting tons of weight from your shoulders. You were so happy to finally be able to say it, and now you never wanted to stop. You wanted to tell every person you stumbled across how fantastic he was and how much he meant to you, but a smaller, more selfish part of you wanted to keep him to yourself forever. He was yours and only yours, and you were the only one in the world lucky enough to have him.
“Cum for me, angel.” He said, his voice low and dripping with desire. He gave you the permission not because he was planning on denying you the pleasure, but because he feared he might die if you did not. He needed you like the starving need food, and he could not keep up with the demands of his heart. He needed everything from you all at once, and he needed it so much that he could not even think about anything else.
With his permission, you felt another wave of euphoria wash over you. This time, it was so intense that it felt like your whole body locked in reaction to it. You managed his name through the cries of pleasure, but it was barely noticeable. The only reason he picked up on it was because he spent every waking minute waiting for you to speak his name.
“That’s it, baby.” He said, gently guiding your lower half down towards him, still circling his finger around your clit. “Being such a good girl for me.” He hummed, pulling you into a kiss as soon as you were close enough to do so. You rode out your high with your lips locked with his, letting every moan fall into his mouth. He drank up the sound, each one pushing him closer to his own climax. When you relaxed against him, he slowly removed his hand from your cunt, bringing both hands to your hips to hold you in place. You were exhausted, and he could clearly see that. He decided not to push you, instead keeping you close to him and pulling your bottom lip between his teeth while he allowed you to calm down.
When your chest returned to the steady rise-and-fall rhythm, he started his own pace again. He held your hips in place, continuing the kiss as he fucked into you, working himself back up to his own orgasm. The sensation was intense, almost overwhelming as you tried to bargain with your own sensitivity from both orgasms. His pace was bruising, like always, but it was still intoxicating. You felt your stomach burn with pleasure once again, unbelieving of how fast you could feel the pressure of another orgasm begin to build. You had to break away from the kiss to catch your breath, the feeling becoming too much to bear. You couldn’t focus on anything other than the feeling of him inside you and the way he filled you up so perfectly.
“Again?” He asked, a cocky smirk on his lips as he tried to play down his own pleasures.
“A-ah, fuck, shut up!” You hissed, stumbling over your own words. He let out a low chuckle at your response, unbothered by your harsh tone.
“S’okay, sweetheart. I know how good I make you feel.” He said, tone dripping with pride. His ego took up space in the room even when you were fucking, and you hated to admit that you loved it. He continued on his pace, now pulling you down on him with every move of his hips. It was painful, but it was addicting. You wanted more, but you feared your body would not be able to handle it. A particularly high-pitched moan let him know that you were already there once again. His head fell back on the mattress, absolutely amazed by how attracted he was to you and how badly he affected you. “That’s it,” he encouraged “look at you.” He whispered to himself, his eyes burning into your face. “You’re so beautiful, sweetheart.”
The compliment sent you over the edge for the third time, the sweet words too much for you to handle. You clenched around him, pulling him in even further as you unravelled. Your hand moved upwards grasping at his shoulder, holding yourself upright as he continued fucking into you. The pleasure was so plentiful that it quickly became the only thing you could think of; nothing else mattered other than him and the way he made you feel.
Jake was not far behind you, his movements becoming sloppy and moans falling steadily from his own lips. You thought he was ridiculous for believing you were the best thing the world had to offer, especially considering he got to wake up and look at himself in the mirror every morning. Jake was the most beautiful thing to ever walk the earth, and he was the most precious gift you’d ever had the chance to receive. His grip on you tightened as he pulled you down on him, holding you to him as he spilled his release into you. He muttered your name amidst the chaos, almost like it was the only thing he knew how to speak.
Instead of pulling out, he rested inside of you for a moment, pulling your top half down closer so he could wrap his arms around you. You rested your cheek against his chest, closing your eyes in bliss as you soaked up the intimacy you had missed so much. His hand traced shapes into your back, the delicate touch sending shivers down your spine and causing goosebumps to scatter across your skin. You ran your fingers through his hair, twisted the ends of the locks between your fingers as you listened to the soft thud of his heartbeat against his chest.
Love was filling the room, and this time, you both allowed yourselves to feel it. You welcomed it with open arms, inviting it in with a smile. It was in every touch and every breath, living in every word and shared glance. In that moment, life could not have been better. He moved his head down, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. He let his lips linger there for a moment, closing his eyes as he thanked every higher power for allowing you to enter his life.
“I love you.” He muttered, the words coming out muffled due to his mouth still resting on your head. You smiled, the kind that made your cheeks hurt and your mind forget what it felt like to frown.
“I love you.” You said, placing a kiss to his chest.
“You want to get cleaned up?” He asked.
“Yeah,” you sighed, nodding against him. “Then we can go to bed.” His chest burned with excitement at the thought of falling asleep next to you again, but he kept his thoughts to himself.
Carefully, he withdrew from you and you both stood. He stayed close to you as you walked to the bathroom, fearful that if you got too far away, he’d lose you forever. You made quick work and cleaning yourselves off, both eager to get into bed and hold each other until you fell asleep. As you walked back to your bedroom, he stopped and grabbed his bag he left in the kitchen, bringing it back with him. You grabbed one of his shirts from your drawer and threw it over your head. He slipped his boxers back on and waited for you to get into bed before joining you.
When you were both under the covers, he wasted little time turning on his side and pulling you closer to him. He settled his arm around your waist as you pressed your back against his chest. “Thank you for coming back, Jake.” You whispered, sleepiness laced in your tone.
“Are you kidding me?” He scoffed, also speaking quietly. “I want going to let you get away that easily.” You giggled at his words, snuggling in even closer. He tightened his arm around you, pulling you further into him.
“Thank you for not giving up on me.” You said, more specific than the last time. He didn’t respond straight away, instead nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck.
“I will fight for you until my very last breath, sweetheart.” He said, simply and seriously. He meant every word, and he did not want you to believe otherwise. “I love you, beautiful.”
“I love you, Jake.” You smiled to yourself as you closed your eyes, sleep calling to you and quickly taking over. In your last conscious moment, you felt the warmth of his love surrounding you, but a familiar dread settled in your stomach. You loved him, and he loved you, but was it really going to be so easy? After struggling to give yourselves to each other, you had a hard time believing that the rest of your life could be so simple. More than that, you still feared the sins the two of you committed just to be together in that moment. Jake was the love of your life, and that was without a doubt. What did worry you was all of the other conclusions you had drawn about him, specifically in regards to his devilish nature.
Was a mortal man laying beside you, or had you invited Satan himself into your home until the end of time?
According to Wikipedia, ‘the seven deadly sins, also known as the capital vices or cardinal sins, is a grouping and classification of vices within Christian, particularly Catholic, teachings. According to the standard list, they are pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth, which are contrary to the seven heavenly virtues.’ The seven deadly sins you had committed with ease and little regret. You fell into the trap without even realizing it, and from there, you could not stop the rapid progression of your godless acts. You had sinned so much that you had forgotten what a virtue was, but more than that, the seven deadliest sins held no weight compared to the sin that only you had been indulging in.
The world did not know about the most sacrilegious of sins because he was in your bed with his arm draped around you, sleeping soundly. You were the only person in the world who knew the extent of his evil. He was more powerful than lust, and more intense than greed. He was greener than envy and he was more vicious than wrath. Jake Kiszka was the eighth, undiscovered, most deadly sin of all. He was all of the vices combined, and more so, the only force in the world that could be strong enough to make you commit all of them in one go. He was the embodiment of evil, thus leaving no other way to describe him; he was the devil, and instead of fearing him, you felt lucky to be in his presence.
You had sinned so much that somewhere along your wicked warpath, you’d sprouted devil horns of your own. His power did not scare you, because you held the same one within your heart. The only match for him was you, and the two of you were tied together with barbed wire and chains, now. When you moved too fast, the ache from the tension spread to your bones, but his kiss satiated the pain. Most of the time, his love was so good that you did not feel the restraints around you at all.
So seven became eight, and the sin had finally come to an end. Yours and Jake’s souls were intertwined infinitely, tainted with the blackness of evil and scorching with the heat of flames. You had reached your deadly end, and you had always feared that once the devil had made home, there was no escaping him. Now, the devil was for certain to stay, and you knew deep in your heart that no amount of repent would rid you from the damage you caused and the guilt that came with it. As you fell asleep wrapped up in him, you thanked god for bringing him back to you whilst knowing he was the very thing god was trying to strike down.
A fear settled deep in the pit of your stomach, wondering if soon, god would realize your mistakes and make his first attempt at striking you down, too.
TAGLIST: @sacredjake @profitofthedune @thewritingbeforesunrise @sacredthethreadgvf @klarxtr @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @freefallthoughts @jaketlove @clairesjointshurt @ageofbajabule @dannys-dream @earthgrlsreasy @starshine-gvf @brujamagik @gvfmarge @ignite-my-fire @twistedmelodies @gretavangroupie @alwaysonthemend @edgingthedarkness @gvfpal @sinarainbows @writingcold @starcatcher-jake @literal-dead-leaf @takenbythemadness @gretasfallingsky @hsfallingsky @freyjalw @itsafullmoon @lyndz2names @blacksoul-27 @i-love-gvf @vikingsisthenewsexy @mp0801 @mindastreamofcolours @indigogvf @sparrowofthedawnsworld @jordie-gvf @cassy-face @highway-tuna @creadliz98 @dancingcarbon @do-it-jakey-baby @lallisonl
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tangerinesilk · 1 year ago
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- I CAN SEE YOU : TANGERINE X FEM!READER
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tangerine is going on a solo mission… well, at least he thinks he is. with lemon missing by his side, he’s left with one other option that is supposed to make his job easier. unfortunately for him, you’re not the easiest to work with. stubborn, strong-minded and feisty. you’re both so alike yet nothing has made your bloods boil more than each other. 
rating ✷ r (18+ minors dni!)
warnings ✷ (very quick) smut: fem receiving, kisses all over bodies, a needy but quick hj, p in v, dirty talk, praising, implied rough (consensual) sex / others: cursing, drinking alcohol, mention and use of guns and violence, male hurting female (?) but not between main characters, mentions of blood and wounds.
tropes ✷ enemies to lovers!!!, person a is all talk no bite + person b knows that but still pushes them, playful banter, hiding together in small spaces, fake dating (?), if one is hurt– the other goes a bit crazy, says ‘i dont care’ then cares 5 seconds later. 
word count ✷ 6k!
songs that fit the vibe ✷ i can see you - taylor swift | moth to a flame - swedish house mafia + the weeknd | king of my heart - taylor swift | attention - charlie puth | nonsense - sabrina carpenter
a/n ✷ so i made a poll a months ago and this trope + pairing won! i’ve honestly been wanting to write a dave lizewski one as well and got a request idea. so.. we will see lmao. i will probably post then maybe edit later if there's still things i don't like... also, if you couldn't tell but im kind of a swiftie so i will love to write fics inspired by whole ass albums y'all.
but i hope this is what u guys expected and wanted. i actually do love writing for tangerine. just gives into my delulu thoughts. also, if you guys would like a plain pwp fic and not all of this fluff and dialogue stuffed inside, pls let me know bc i am definitely into that idea. 🫡
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“You had to go and get yourself shot… then you wonder why you have to wear a bulletproof vest. Fuckin’ hell.” 
Tangerine kept his voice at a hushed tone, basically talking under his breath as he strutted through the grand hall of the hotel. Golden light glossed over his figure, passing by couples who were at standing tables with their cocktails.
“Well, Thomas said-”
“Thomas didn’t say shit. Don’t get me fuckin’ started now.”
Lemon already knew Tan was in a bad mood. Another Thomas the Tank Engine factoid wasn’t a playful move right now.
“Hey, mate. Don’t get all fussy wit’ me. You’re just mad about your new partner for the night.” Lemon rolled his eyes.
“Can’t believe I can’t be held accountable of myself. I can handle it on my own but you had to call the fuckin’ princess-” 
“She’s good. Your denial is obnoxious, bruv. It’s only a night, you get in and get out.” Lemon replied, holding his wounded side as he laid in his bed back in England, “What happened between you two that you’ve got beef like this?”
“No time to explain nor do I have the patience.” He arrived at the small bar to the side of the room, “If I leave her behind, can I take half the pay that’s supposed to be hers?” Tangerine asked.
“She’s supposed to be wearing a red dress. You’ll see her there… and please don’t cause a scene.” His brother begged.
“No promises.” He replied before hanging up. 
Tangerine blows a sigh past his lips, quickly asking for his drink of choice before scanning the mass of people around him. His blue eyes could only search so fast for the man that the hit was called on, causing him an instant frustration when he’s already worried about you ruining things regardless of how long you’re together.
“He’s next to the woman in the tacky gold ballgown… about two feet away from the ice sculpture.” Your soft voice suddenly spoke next to him, “But, I didn’t need to tell you that, right?”
The smirk on your face burned at his nerves and you noticed the clench in his jaw.
“Well, if it isn’t the fuckin’ Queen herself.” He said in a stern tone, “What? Germany was too borin’ for ya? Had to figure out a way to ruin someone’s operation?”
“Lemon is the one who called me in, and it isn’t about you. It’s about the pay out… you’re bound to screw something up with your ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ tactic.” You trailed, rolling your eyes as you turned your head away.
“And I’m certainly not afraid to use that tonight and not your fucked up, painfully long mind games like some fuckin’ psycho thilling killer.” He spat as his drink was place in front of him.
You narrowed your eyes at him, “Fuck you.”
“Darling, I’m flattered, but we have more important things to do right now.” He lowly groaned, purposefully looking at his target so his back was facing toward you.
Behind his tall stature, you glimpsed past his shoulder and saw your target chatting up a woman. 
He won’t be smiling for long, you thought.
“Alright, I’ll wait for him to slip away, follow him and you go through the kitchen.” Tangerine said under his breath, keeping quiet for only you to hear him.
“To go where?” You ask, walking around him to stand face to face.
“Erm…” He sighed, “Whatever car or vehicle you got here in, drive yourself back to whatever place you’re staying and I’ll figure out how to wire you the money.” He shrugged, downing the rest of his drink.
He took a step but you placed your hand on the center of his chest, “Not so fast. I’m not going down if you make a mess of this.”
“I don’t make messes. Well, actually, I get away with them once I’ve done ‘em so, I don’t need to worry about a liability.” Tangerine smirked, a bit of a tilt to his head. Cheeky bastard.
“The only liability here is the one who is ready to pull the trigger in his back.” You said before huffing, “I’m not sorry for what happened in Paris, but that was my choice. So, I’m going with you because it’s our operation. You know… I don’t need a fucking helping hand either.” You practically growled.
The two of you held a long gaze, creating a tense eye contact before he sighed, “Didn’t even say anythin’ about Paris, but if you’d like to assume I’m still mad ‘bout that, be my guest, princess.”
His shoulder bumped yours, making you clench your jaw before quickly following behind his tall stature. While he seemed persistent, you grabbed his hand which made him stop in his tracks in the middle of the dance floor.
He turned, “Am I your babysitter?”
“No, you’re my date. Hold my hand, you idiot.” Your eyes pierced through his.
As he looked down at your hand, he slowly grasped it, your fingers intertwining with one another’s before he proceeded through the glamorous crowd.
Couples swayed and waltzed between each step you took, assuming you were unnoticed by your target. Tangerine kept his eyes on him, easy to with the frosty-white full head of hair he had slicked back. The woman in the tacky dress ran her hand down his shoulder, pressing her lips to his ear to whisper something which made you and Tangerine veer to the side at a standing table.
“Are they movin’?” He asked, facing his back toward them.
Your eyes smoothly shift, taking a quick glance at the assumed couple. You ran your hand down Tangerine’s arm, accidentally feeling how toned his bicep was through the thick fabric of his suit jacket. You almost glanced down, wanting to give another squeeze before clearing your throat. A heat rose on your cheeks as you turned your head to face away from him.
“Y-Yeah, near the bathroom. There’s also a backdoor that leads up to the second floor… lots of private rooms for reasons that are obvious.” You said in a hushed tone, moving away from him to the other side of the table.
“Alright, since you wanna tag along, I’ll follow them and you cover the door.” Tangerine suggested once again.
You furrowed your eyebrows, “You do understand what teamwork is, yes?”
He chuckled, “Yes, I go up there, shoot a few rounds, then we make a getaway.”
“Will you just trust me?”
“Your trust means nothing… I need to know you’re not going to fuck anything up. Just like in Paris.”
You smirked, “So you do have that against me.”
“Well, it’s not like it was your best. Leave me with a shot in the arm, Lemon on the ground and you, little miss greed, get away with your cash. If we all did this job for money, we wouldn’t be riskin’ our lives just runnin’ around killin’ or resucin’ people just for someone’s dime. You obviously do though.”
You narrowed your eyes, “You don’t know me…”
“Nor do you know me so…” He huffed, “Let’s just do what we have to do.”
There was tension between you, as if there was more fo a protective instinct than hate toward one another. You couldn't figure out Tangerine’s deal. Why was he so hostile toward you? Yes, what happened in Paris was fucked up, but he wasn’t the type to hold a grudge. He didn’t take shit from anyone, so why were you getting under his skin?
“Shit!” He grunted under his breath, seeing your target disappear into the hall.
The two of you hurry, yet still try to act casual to not raise eyebrows, and exit into the same hallway. As you push open the door, you hear the two talking in the stairwell before another door closes.
“You got your gun on you?” He asked as his hand slid into the back of his pants.
“Of course.” You scoffed, tearing up the slit in your dress. He saw the small pistol strapped to your thigh, making his mouth a bit dry.
He nodded, “Good…” 
Taking a quick breath, Tangerine opened the door. You slipped through and he followed behind, your backs facing one another as you scanned the hallway. It wasn’t narrow but if anyone slipped out of one of the rooms, they were right in your sights.
“I’ll take this one, you take that one.” He whispered, pointing his gun to the opposite door of his.
With your heart in your throat, you slowly crack the door open and don’t see anyone before a body flies from behind and slammed the door open from Tangerine’s side. The woman lied dead on the floor, blood all over his dress, and just as you turned around, a punch slid across your cheek. 
Instinctively, you ducked to dodge the second jab and swoop under to get on the other side of the man as Tangerine wrapped his arms around the guy to pull him to the ground.
Tan loudly grunted as he tried to gain control, basically attempting to straddle him in order to push his arm against his neck. Even with all his strength, the man gripped his hands around Tangerine’s arms to throw him off along with trying to push his knee between his crotch.
“Watch the door!” Tan directed to you. 
You nodded, catching your breath with your back against the wall by the door. The adrenaline ran through your veins and heard your heartbeat in your ears as one tear of blood dripped down your cheek. The crack of bones made you turn your head, seeing the man’s body go limp as Tan began to stand over him.
He quickly walked over the man, as if he was in the way, and comes to your side.
“He nicked you bad. Lemme see.” Tan said, your eyes meeting his as he held your cheek. The touch of his hand seemed to be some comfort, his thumb wiping the blood away and trying to see how bad the wound was.
“Bastard.” He muttered, “C’mon, let’s go before someone comes up.”
Without a word in, he grabbed your hand and dragged you behind his lead. You two headed for the exit door down the other side of the hall as you heard footsteps rumble from the other stairs you came up.
“Wait a minute.” Tan said, fiddling with his belt buckle.
Your eyes widen, “What on earth are you doing?”
He smirked, “Relax, darling. You flatter yourself too much.”
You rolled your eyes as the sound of his belt slid against the fabric of his belt loops before curling the leather strap around the door to keep it locked. The two of you fled down the stairs and suddenly found yourselves in the kitchen area. A few eyes followed as you both ran through, very obvious that you were running from something, but still aimed to get to some kind of exit.
With sudden luck, Tangerine saw his car across the street, instantly knowing which way he was supposed to go. Without skipping a beat, he grabbed your hand once more and the two of you ran across the street. Hopping into the passenger seat and Tan taking off was like a blur, just happening in seconds.
“Y/N?” Tan saying your name woke you from your trance.
“Huh?” You asked, shaking your head.
He quickly turned his head, “You alright?” He said with concern, one hand on the steering wheel and his foot easing off the gas.
“Y-Yeah, I’m okay. I don’t know what happened back there.” You trailed, a bit embarrassed. You were never one to let your guard down, well– enough to get hit right smack in the face.
“Are you sure?”
You turned your attention to him, “I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” You asked rhetorically.
“‘Cause of that big cut on your cheek.”
You narrowed your eyes, “Alright, what’s your big plan now, Einstein? Were just going to sleep in your car and hope we don’t wake up decapitated?”
He half-chuckled, “You truly think so little of me, don’t you?”
“Is that rhetorical?”
Tan rolled his blue eyes, “We’re goin’ somewhere safe.”
– – –
You wanted to believe you were strolling into some kind of trap. The lobby had a classic aesthetic to it, pale gold wallpaper and a wall of keys behind the person at the small front desk. You two placed your go-bags on the red carpeted ground as Tangerine checked into a room.
“Hello Mr. Tangerine.”
Oh, great. He’s some guest of honor here.
“‘Ello, Colin. My usual room.”
“Is that what you say in front of all the girls?” You tilted your head, standing behind him.
He rolled his eyes, “‘Cuse her.”
The man chuckled, crinkles by his eyes, “How many nights are you staying this time?”
This time. You could scoff out loud but you didn’t want to hear the tude from him.
“Just overnight. Nothin�� too serious.”
“Well, enjoy your stay, as always.” The man nodded before Tangerine thanked him.
The two of you head toward the old elevator, watching him quickly press the up button before you stand by his side. You half chuckled, “I’ve never seen you act so kindly toward anyone, tell me, does he see you bring girls through here all the time or-”
“Has anyone ever told you to shut your pie hole?”
“Hmm, not verbally. But, those eyes of your say enough for me… you’re too predictable, sometimes, Tan.”
He gave you a lingering look as the door opened, passing him into the elevator. The two of you make your way to the fifth floor and the hall is eerily quite for a hotel full of private contractors and assassins. You had your hands behind your back then patiently waited for Tangerine to jiggle the key into the lock, opening a door to a huge room with a surprisingly wide view.
“You’d think the curtains were closed.” You muttered as he walked over, closing them anyways.
Suddenly, he stripped from his suit jacket and you couldn’t help but see how tight his button up was around his biceps and chest.
“Did you get that a size too small?” You ask as you chunk your heels into the corner.
“Well, I certainly can’t kill fuckin’ bloaks wearing baggy clothes now.”
“But, you can in a three piece suit?” You cocked your eyebrow.
He licked his lips, “As if your dress is a flexible material.” Tangerine said as he pulled his rings off, placing them on the night stand.
“I can say the same for your pants.”
Tangerine wanted to look down but didn’t give into your comment. You place your bag down on the bed, grabbing your silk pajamas nearly folded on top and changed in the bathroom.
“God, just go to bed. We’ve got a long day tomorrow.” You somewhat groaned.
You sit on the top of the bed, unfolding the duvet before shoving it off to get underneath them.
Tangerine paused, “What the fuck do you you’re doin’?”
You furrowed your eyebrow, “This thing called going to sleep. Try it sometime, you’d be less grouchy.”
He rolled his eyes, “I know that, smartass, I mean what’re you doin’ in the bed that I’m goin’ to be sleepin’ in too?”
You rolled over, putting your weight on your elbows, “I know you’re dramatic but this takes the cake for top performances.”
He faked a laugh, “If you don’t get your ass out of that bed in two seconds, I’ll throw you in the tub with a pillow.”
“Oh, wouldn’t you like to. Fine, do it.” You said before laying flat into the mattress, staring straight at the ceiling.
He didn’t care for your equal amount of sarcasm, but he just gave you a cocked eyebrow.
“Okay, fine. I’d rather sleep on the floor anyways.” He said, stretching his arms up and behind his head. Your eyes quickly admired his muscles before turning back.
“Be my guest, princess.” You scoffed, slipping on your pajama shorts, “I’ll enjoy my big comfy bed.”
You pulled the heavy duvet over your waist, curling up with the dense pillow beneath your head. 
Tangerine stood there, biting the inside of his cheek as he watched you roll on your side. He tilted his head back before unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it on the desk chair. Although your eyes were closed, his side of the bed sunk in and you tried to hold back your smile at his faded stubbornness.
With your backs facing one another, you two just listened to the silence of the city. It gave you a moment to think of Paris– the last time you were with one another or much rather supposed to be against each other. You were a double agent, not exactly proud of it but you let greed take over your motivated justice. 
Having to scam Lemon and Tangerine wasn’t your finest hour either, you thought about it for months and finally coming face to face with Tangerine (out of the two, he wasn’t the one you would want to bump into again), all the guilt came rushing back like the snap of an elastic band.
– – –
The morning sun runs through the thin silk of the curtains, shining over your bodies in the bed. You wake up to the sound of light snoring, happy that you could sleep through it, and Tangerine in a deep slumber with his arm over the bed. He suddenly looked like innocence, so soft and tender, simply laying there like it was any other day.
You sit up, putting your hair out of your face then head to the bathroom. When you turn the light on, you’re almost surprised to see your reflection. Forgetting about the scar against your cheek, you look more rough around the edges. You sigh as you run your fingers over it, remembering the way Tangerine did last night.
After washing up, you go back out and Tangerine is now standing up and stretching his arms above his head. Your eyes quickly shift up his body, admiring the tattoos in their random places and how the band of his briefs rest on his hips. You sealed your lips from smiling at how sharp his v-line was accompanied by the happy trail disappearing into his pants.
“Sleep good with that stick in your ass?” You retort, passing him.
He rolled his eyes, “...You’re annoying, ya know that?”
“Oh, you’ve made that clear.” You mocked him as you closed the curtains more, “That’s why I love to do it.”
Tangerine flicked on the lamp, giving the room a warm glow.
“Alright, I say we lay low today. Better to be out of sight and–”
You cut him off, “Stuck in this room together?... are you trying to kill me t–”
He then put his hand over your mouth, looking deep into your eyes, “Yes, stuck in this room where we can keep an eye on each other and you can’t screw me over again.”
Your heart stopped for a split second, as if he couldn’t have been more of the controlling one. He took his hand away and you gulped, “Yep. Fine. Fair.”
Tangerine pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek before you go to your bag in the chair that’s pushed in the corner of the room. You slightly bend over to look inside your duffle and his icy eyes can’t help but look up the back of your thighs and straight at your ass and lower back. How he could easily put his hands on your hips and make you hold onto something.
He shook his head, feeling like he was coming down with something to even imagine that thought.
You pulled out an old novel and sat yourself back on the bed, hoping that the hours would pass as you sank further into the broken-in mattress.
Tangerine sat down in the chair nudged into the corner, adjacent from your view, and he pulled out his gun that was conveniently tucked into the back of his pants.
“Are you actually holding me hostage?” You furrowed your brows, but didn’t take your eyes from your sentence.
“Whatever fantasy you’d like you believe.” He trailed, opening his gun and emptying his rounds into his palm.
– – –
Suddenly, you leaped out of a deep sleep. Your book laid open on your stomach while an extra pillow was between your legs. Your eyes fluttered open, thinking the past few days has been a dream, until you noticed Tangerine wasn’t sitting in the chair. You quickly looked around before hearing the bathroom door open and he stepped out, shirtless and in new dark slacks that rested on his hips.
Your mouth became dry. How could you dislike him so much yet here you are, ready to jump his bones as he crossed the room.
“What are you getting dressed for?” You asked, rubbing your eyes.
He half-chuckled at your groggy voice, “I want a drink.”
“Oh, like you’re not just going to abandon me here like I did you?... Where you go, I go.” You warned him.
He rolled his eyes, “Don’t be so dramatic.”
“A bit hypocritical coming from you.”
Tangerine just ignored your smart comment and opened the door, letting you through first before he followed. His eyes, once again, trace your lower back and trailed down your legs. His cheeks flushed pink as he quickly looked away, clearing his throat as he caught up to you so you two were walking side by side.
You pushed the faded down button as you pushed a big breath past your lips. Tangerine put his back against the wall and crossed his arms, his muscles basically restraining in his light button up. As you turned around, you rolled your eyes– but not at him, just at yourself. How could you have any little feeling for someone who also annoyed you to your core?
He took your silence as a bit of a tease. To be fair, you two didn’t really know one another. You met once before and then you simply betrayed him. Quickly, you were dead to him, but now you’re forced to be together and it raised an important question to himself too. Why was he helping someone who obviously can’t be trusted? 
Tangerine furrowed his eyebrows at that thought, knowing he would have thrown you to the wolves last night after you closed your eyes. He played with his watch a bit before the elevator dinged and caught both of your attentions.
After entering, the low-sounding shifting mechanics of the elevator were the only sounds between you two. You heard Tangerine sniffle, seeing him stretch his neck out of the corner of your eye, but you kept a straight view to the doors. While Tangerine thought you were continuing to give him the silent treatment, you were lost in your own thoughts of the past.
You flashbacked to your last night in Paris together, and remembered how the guilt creeped up on you knowing that, in a few hours, you’d have to betray both Lemon and Tangerine. Before knowing them, you didn’t care, but now that you’ve realized how hard you were falling for Tan, it felt like a double edged sword. If you didn’t do it, maybe you could stay with him– have a life together. But, if you went through with your selfish heist, you’d lose the guy who made you comfortable with being vulnerable after a long time. 
Obviously, you regretted your decision.
“Is this what you want?” You simply asked.
Tangerine quickly turned his head, “What?”
You rolled your eyes before facing his direction, “This.” You gestured between the two of you, “The weird animosity and constantly arguing and nit-picking?”
He never thought you’d be so bold to point it out, “I mean, we don’t like each other. Simple, isn’t it?”
“I guess…” You trailed, facing back toward the doors.
Tangerine licked his lips, wondering if he should utter the words on his tongue.
“...But, that doesn’t mean we can’t start over.”
You looked over your shoulder once more before turning around to him, “You mean that?”
He arched his eyebrow, “Should I regret it now?”
Just as the elevator dinged, the doors slowly opened and the hotel lobby appeared empty. You smirked to yourself, “Why don’t we catch up over that drink, huh?” You sort of teased– not sure if it had purpose.
– – –
Your drink tasted smooth, easily trailing down your throat as you leaned your head back to finish off the rest of the liquor in your glass. Once you tilted your head back straight, you were met with Tangerine’s signature eyebrow arch.
“Don’t worry, I’m paying for my own drinks.” You sighed, placing your glass back down on the wooden table top.
“As long as I don’t got to carry you back up to the room.” He sighed, sounding more defeated than witty, then his blue eyes glanced down then back into your eyes.
You hummed, running your finger along the rim of the empty glass. 
“‘right so, what’ve you been doin’ since we last…” He cleared his throat, “saw one other?”
You crossed your leg over the other, “Not much. Actually, it’s the first time I’ve been out for a while. After leaving you guys, I laid low in Tuscany.”
“For how long?”
You shrugged, “Five months? I was on the countryside and I wanted to be alone…” then, you smirked, “I heard that you were in Kyoto.” 
Tangerine could chuckle about it now, “For a bit. Had a job to do for some psychotic, fucked up family. The dad called in us, they were all turin’ on each other. Whole fuckin’ thing…”
“As in…” You trailed, “Against one another? The whole family?”
He just nodded before taking a sip of his drink.
You raised your eyebrows, “Wow… and you got out with no bruises or cuts? Bullet holes?”
Tangerine licked his lips before he presented the side of his neck, lighter skin over his tanner tone to show the scar. You carefully reached out, brushing your fingers against it which made a tingle go up his spine. You sit back down as he turned back in his chair, and he seemed to tense up.
“Amazing you survived it.” You sealed your lips.
He crossed his arms, “I supposed…”
A comfortable silent fell between you, the light, jazz music playing at a low, and Tangerine’s eyes trailed up the side of your bare leg. He didn’t mean to stare this much, but he felt more vulnerable than usual. One thing you knew is that Tangerine was a layered person, you had to take time to get to the center of him and realize he’s not so cold once you get to know him.
“Five months in Tuscany, I bet that was lovely.”
“Not really. I isolated the whole time… I wanted to be by myself, but I felt bad about what happened… what I did in Paris.” You admitted, but didn’t look into his eyes, fearing that he would turn on you in a second.
Tangerine sighed, “You had to do your job, we did ours… that’s ‘bout all that can be said.” 
Assuming from the lack of eye contact and his tone, he seemed hurt too. You could easily let it boost your ego, but, you actually felt a relief. This hatred you’ve held against each other has finally come down and even though it wasn’t actually said, both of you can feel hostility leave the room.
You bit the inside of your cheek, “Remember, we’re starting over. Clean slate. I hope I’m making a good impression so far.” You raised your eyebrows, lifting your glass again just to drink the mixture of watered down liquor. 
He chuckled, “You’re just lovely.”
The comment made your face get hot. You blame the accent and how it can just get under your skin.
“I don’t think you’ve ever called me something so nice.”
Tangerine smirked, “Funny since we’ve just met, darling.”
Darling.
It was the first time you heard it as a term of endearment then pure spite.
You rolled your eyes, but you could humor that Tangerine was going along with it. This new cheeky side of him was something you didn’t think existed– maybe it was the liquor talking, but you hoped it wasn’t just that simple.
“So, what brings you here?” You continued to tease, placing your elbows on the table, “Business… or pleasure?” Your hand laid on top of his, brushing your fingertips along the chunky rings that perfectly fit his fingers.
Multiples thoughts sounded through both your minds.
“Maybe it’s the liquor.” “Maybe we’re a little over our heads.” “Maybe we’re bored.”
But, Tangerine held your hand on top of the table, gently holding it as his thumb grazes over your knuckles.
“Depends…” He trailed, now leaning in too, “What are you here for?”
– – –
In just a few minutes, you two were back in the room you felt trapped in for hours.
Tangerine pressed your back against the wall, a tingle running up your spine from the coolness of the wallpaper. Your lips pressed together over and over, tilting your head before biting his bottom lip. He effortlessly lifted you up with his hand under the back of your thighs, and your ankles meet around his back.
He needed so bad, desperate even… and the feeling was mutual.
He put you down on your feet again, pressing a kiss against your scarred cheek then another on your jaw. His light kisses run down the middle of your breasts as his hand lifted up the end of your skirt. You pushed your hips out as your back was against the wall still, watching him pull down your panties in an instant. You kick them to the side and Tangerine placed your leg over his shoulder, kisses along your inner thigh and your hand ran through the front of his curls.
Suddenly, his tongue ran over your swollen clit before sucking on it. With one hand in his hair, the other caressing your breast and running your thumb over your nipple.
Tangerine panted, moving his hand against your pussy lips. He pushed them apart, showing your tight hole and how you clench around nothing. He lowly groaned, running his fingers over your clit before sliding his two fingers into your pussy. You bite your bottom lip to hold back the moan stuck in your throat, watching him suck your clit and finger you at the same time.
Just as your climax neared, he felt your cunt tighten around his fingers. He couldn’t end it like this so, he took them away. You let your leg down, watching him come back up and tower over you.
“If I’m goin’ to make you cum…” He sighed, “I’m gonna be deep inside you when you fucking crumble.” He said so low before pressing his fingers against your tongue, and you tasted yourself.
You pulled his hand back, running your thumbs over his tattooed hand.
“Not if I make you cum first.” You trailed, moving his hand down so you could kiss him.
He could drop to his knees in an instant, but Tangerine surprisingly kept his composure. 
You smirked as you pushed him toward the bed, the back of his knees hitting it to make him sit down. As you stood in front of him, he leaned on his elbows as he watched your dress drop to the floor. It pooled at your ankles and when his eyes shifted back up, so glossed over, your bare body was the center of his attention.
“Hmm, I don’t think you’ll last.” You taunted.
As much as he could snap back, you straddled him and pulled apart his tightly buttoned shirt. Your hands ran over his toned and tatted chest before reaching down to his pants, unzipping the fly and he shuffled a bit to shift them off his hips. His cock was hard, restrained from his boxers and you felt flattered.
You giggled, leaning forward to share a slow kiss with him. Your bare pussy rubbed against his cock as you moved closer to him. A low groan mumbled between your makeout, and you pushed him back so you two both fell on the bed.
Your hands pressed into each side of the mattress, gaining strength to help yourself grind against his hard. His big hands tightly held your hips as you continued your smooth momentum, whimpering at your clit being rubbed by your harsh grind.
As heat rose in the room, your right hand dipped between the two of you, and ran over his hard cock once more. Tan’s lips now desperately met your jaw before taking a light bite at your neck. The feeling of your hand caressing through his boxers could make him release right there.
Becoming more impatient, you finally pushed your hand into the band of his boxers and he once more moved his hips to shift out of them. 
“Fuck, your cock is so big… can barely hold it with my hand. God, I want you to stretch me out…” You moaned, “Is that okay?”
You purposefully let him believe that he was in charge, and you were falling into the submissive role. Tangerine gained a bit of confidence from your desperate comments, and he sat more up on the bed.
“Fucking christ…” Is all he could say.
He moved the swollen and red tip against your wet slit, also aching and needing your walls to wrap around him now. At first there was pressure, pushing the tip inside your hole then slowly guiding your hips down to completely take in every inch of his cock. 
Once he bottomed out, your body lightly shook as your lips brushed against his. He was fully inside you, the tight and warm feeling making him wither beneath you.
Tangerine moved his hand, kissing your shoulder, “God, you feel like fuckin’ heaven.”
“Don’t stop. Please…” You huffed.
– – –
Then, it was morning. 
The rising sun peaked through the small split of the curtains. As you tried to shift, your body ached throughout every muscle. A small groan left your lips, but you were pulled back by a strong arm wrapped around your waist.
It snapped you back into reality. Last night really happened… and you were okay with that.
Tangerine’s tattooed arm unconsciously tightened around you, holding you close still as he still slept behind you. You barely look over your shoulder and saw his face, his eyes still shut and his curls looked wild.
You faintly smile as you turn around to face him, and that’s what woke him up. He pulled his arms back and rubbed his eyes from the brightness of the sun coming in. You run your finger along a curl on his forehead, pushing it to the top of his head and your heart melted from the sight of those blue eyes.
“Did last night really happen?” You mumbled, but with a faint smile on your lips.
He placed his hand gently on your cheek, caressing his thumb against your jaw. 
“I think the real question is…” He trailed, “Do we stay another night or go back to pretending to not know each other's existences?”
You bit your bottom lip, lightly giggling, “I think we pick secret option three and go somewhere else. Get away for a while… see where this is going. Don’t you?”
Just at that moment, Tangerine’s phone vibrated in his pants that were on the floor next to the bed. He turned over on his other side, reaching down to pull it out and reading a text Lemon just sent.
“Got a call about a job in Budapest. Are you in or overstaying your weekend?”
Tangerine smirked at himself, then felt your lips press against his neck. You placed another kiss on his shoulder, leaving a tender love bite before he turned back around to kiss you. Maybe it was the natural thrill of the chase, but you loved the not knowing. 
Whatever was next, you could only hope that he kept it interesting.
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nattinatalia · 1 year ago
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Jack Harlow x Reader : One Tree Harlow
A/N : Was scrolling through TT and seen lots of edits of my favorite series lol so this is purely for my entertainment.
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“So wait, they hate each other but are brothers?”
You sigh and nod, “Half brothers.”
Jack hums, “And they’re best friends but dated the same guy?”
“Technically, she dated him first. But he belongs to the streets.”
“And she was his tutor, best friends with his brother who hated each other at one point?”
You sign again, “Jackman can we just watch without you asking questions ?”
“I want to know the plot about it all.” He reaches for the remote. “Let’s watch from the beginning, yeah?”
You instantly glare at him, “You’re lucky I love this show and I’m down to watch it as many times.”
He nods, “Alright, I want to see why you’re always been team Brooke.”
*************
“HE DIED? HE DIED? TELL ME THIS IS A JOKE. How is Lucas going to live through that?” Jack exclaims, pausing the tv.
“I know, I cry everytime.”
He raises his eyebrows, “Babe, you cry almost during every sad scene. You’ve watched this show so many times.”
“And what about it?”
He laughs, “Nothing pretty girl.”
You gasp, “Don’t you Lucas Scott me right now.”
“What would you rather me be more like Nathan for you?”
You smile, “I do love him more than Lucas.”
“Hmm.”
You smirk and get up from your spot, and go to straddle him. “But, I love me some Jackman Thomas Harlow even more.”
His smile and blush is instant. Even after all these years, you’re happy that you can still make him blush, as he does to you as well.
“We should do a show.” He smirks.
“Ohh?” You raise your eyebrows. “What kind of show?”
He squeezes your ass. “Call it One Tree Harlow.”
You laugh right away at the sound of that. “Baby, that doesn’t sound appealing.”
“Yeah, it sounded better in my head.”
You peck his lips, and brush his curls back. “Let’s continue watching and maybe you’ll get better ideas and catch phrases.”
••••••
TAG LIST
@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree @toocriticalharlow @thefemalestorywriter @lightsoutstyles @violetslays818 @fantasywritersstuff @vanwritesfan-fiction
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hornelius-hickey · 2 months ago
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The Terror x Stargate AU where Tuunbaq and Apophis are delivery drivers.
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They carpool to save money on gas and neither really knows what a speed limit is.
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caashmoneynae · 5 months ago
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AUTHOR'S NOTE: got inspired to write about Raq’s pretty self after i seen this edit. 😉
MY MASTERLIST. -> click here for more!
YOU'RE MINES STILL. (GxG)
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PATINA MILLER AS “RAQUEL THOMAS” FROM RAISING KANAN x BLACK!FEM!OC
SUMMARY: in which Simone & Raquel were toxic to each other and ended on bad terms because of this, but when Raq hears about her having someone else, she decides to pay Simone a visit. ✨ | partially inspired by this tiktok 🤣
𝗦𝗜𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗘 stood in the dressing room of "Chocolate City" — the strip club she worked at — as she adjusted her outfit, taking her time to analyze her appearance while she fiddled with her skirt.
it wasn't time for her to go on stage yet, but she still wanted to look her best for the time being.
the woman flipped her ass-length black box braids out of her face as the door to the dressing room opened, revealing one of her coworkers and friends Destiny — who was known as "Rubi" on stage due to her signature red color that was displayed in her outfits.
"you know you not due on stage for anotha' 30 minutes, right?" Destiny asked, raising a brow, as Simone nodded her head and let out a soft chuckle.
"Divine always gotta' stay ready, boo. you know that." Simone smirked, referencing her stage name, as she playfully smacked her own ass and Destiny laughed at her before shaking her head.
"stayin' ready fa' Raquel, huh?" Destiny joked, smirking widely, as Simone smacked her lips and her posture stiffened, her face scrunching up at the sound of that woman's name while Destiny guffawed at the change in her demeanor.
to keep it brief: Raquel and Simone used to be a thing, and their fling was as toxic as ever. there would be lots of arguing, lots of breaking up, and lots of making up — until one day, the making up stopped and the two never reconciled again.
Simone had no problem with the business Raquel ran and honestly tried her best not to be involved in it, despite often being questioned by Detective Burke and other officers about her involvement with Raq. but once they stopped speaking, Simone deaded everything between them. she stopped speaking to her, stopped returning her calls, and just started avoiding her as much as she could whenever she was out, which included ignoring her brothers, but she still spoke to her son and her niece whenever she saw them.
Simone could no longer stay in that toxic environment anymore, and with the police constantly spying on her and trying to "catch" her doing something illegal, that just made it worse. so she did what she thought was best and left the environment for good.
but knowing Raq, Simone knew there was only a matter of time before she tried to weasel her way back into her life, and she'd be gullible enough to fall for it.
"i ain't mean to kill ya high, girl, c'mon! come get a drink wit' me!" Destiny giggled as she grabbed Simone's hand and led her to the door while Simone secretly mugged the girl behind her back.
"yeah, you owe me one after bringin' that shit up."
"...then that bitch had the nerve to push me, girl, i was 'bout to bash her muh'fuckin' head in, she clearly ain't know who she was fuckin' wit'!" Destiny scoffed, recounting an interaction with one of their coworkers that happened when Simone was off, as she shook her head and Simone chuckled while taking a sip of her drink.
"i'm tellin' you, Des', bitches around here always fuck with bitches who they know can beat they ass just for a lil' bit of street cred'. they don't fool me wit' that shit, i'on play that fuck shit," Simone chuckled, pushing a few of her braids behind her shoulder, as "I'm Still Waiting" by Jodeci began to play in the club and Simone raised a brow, shaking her head before scoffing, "outta' all the songs, why the DJ play this shit? c'mon now, man."
"must be a sign, babygirl." Destiny winked, making Simone mug her, as Destiny laughed and Simone chugged her drink, slamming the glass down like a shot glass while she cleared her throat.
❝ IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I TOUCHED A LADY, AND I'M STILL WAITING FOR YOU TO COME BACK TO ME, BABY. ❞
"i'm 'bout to get pissed off," Simone mumbled, making Destiny burst out laughing, as Simone turned to Eleanor — the bartender — and gently pushed her glass toward her, "refill, please, Ellie."
"before you get that refill, lemme' holla' at you real quick, Simone." a familiar voice called out as Destiny nearly caught whiplash turning around and her eyes locked on Raquel, making her laughter intensify while she nudged Simone with her elbow.
"Raq', i ain't got shit to say to you—"
"well, i got a lot to say to you. so, bring ya ass on." Raquel interrupted the woman as Simone raised a brow and looked back at her, looking her up and down before scoffing.
"i'll be back, y'all." Simone mumbled, making Destiny smirk, as Simone side-eyed Destiny and mugged her before hopping off the stool, adjusting her skirt on her ass before walking behind Raquel.
as soon as the two walked out of the door, Raquel grabbed Simone by the arm and pushed her up against her white truck, making Simone's eyebrows furrow while she looked between Raquel's firm grip and dark eyes.
"Raq', if you don't get—"
"stop callin' me that, Simone, you know i hate that shit," Raquel demanded, her voice as firm as her grip on Simone's arm, "the streets been talkin' lately. and they been tellin' me you fuckin' with somebody else. that true?"
"as if that's any of your business." Simone mumbled, rolling her eyes, as Raquel chuckled and let go of her arm, gripping her neck instead and resting her thumb on her chin to lift her head.
"it is my fuckin' business, the fuck you talkin' 'bout? you foreva' gon' be my girl, Simone, get that shit through yo' thick ass skull," Raquel growled, leaning in closer to the girl, as Simone folded her lips together and looked into the woman's eyes, seeing nothing but anger and slight lust, "but since you got muh'fuckin' amnesia all of a sudden, i'll happily remind you of who the fuck you belong to."
"R-Raquel!" Simone cried, her thighs beginning to burn while she rode the strap, as Raquel wrapped her hand around Simone's neck and yanked her head up before it could fall back.
"uh-uh. look at me, Simone,"  Raquel demanded, lightly slapping the girl's face, as Simone whimpered and her low eyes locked with Raquel's fiery ones, "you think you can just go around givin' my shit away? huh? you thought i wasn't gon' hear about that shit? you must take me for a dumb muh'fucka', don't you?"
to tell the truth, Simone did start talking to someone new not too long ago. did they have sex yet? unfortunately, yes — and i say "unfortunately" because they were ultimately not good enough in bed — definitely not as good as Raq — and didn't fully satisfy Simone's needs, which led her to regret opening up her legs in the first place.
did Simone know Raq would find out? of course, she did — solely because Raquel finds out everything.
"you belong to me. your body belongs to me. and you better believe that pussy belongs to me too, Simone. so, don't fuckin' play mind games wit' me and think i won't find out about the shit you do," Raquel growled as she began to thrust up into Simone from underneath her, "you think my guys still don't keep tabs on you? on where you been? on where you at? on who you been wit' and where y'all been? huh?"
"R-Raquel—"
"shut the fuck up when i'm talkin'," Raquel grumbled, roughly slapping her ass and leaving her handprint behind, as Simone bit down on her bottom lip to keep her eyes from rolling back, "matta' fact, tell me who you gave my pussy to since you wanna talk when i'm talkin'. use that pretty lil' mouth, Simone."
Simone went quiet, her teeth digging deeply into her bottom lip and almost drawing blood from it, as Raquel glared at her and began thrusting at a quicker and rougher rate, her eyes narrowing in slight irritation while she stared at the brown-skinned girl on her lap.
"i-it was a g-girl from th-the Bulletproof R-Records sh-showcase!" Simone yelped, feeling the tip of the strap roughly jab into her g-spot several times, as Raquel raised a brow at her and chuckled darkly, shaking her head while she tightened the grip on her neck.
"Lou's showcase? and you thought i wasn't gon' find out, Simone? i look fuckin' stupid to you or somethin'?" Raquel growled, furrowing her brows, as she harshly slapped the girl's other asscheek and left another handprint, "all my peoples was in that bitch that night and you thought nobody was gon' tell me 'bout the wack ass bitch tryna' make moves on my girl?"
"n-nooooooo!" Simone sobbed, stray tears beginning to roll down her rosy brown cheeks, as Raquel smirked sadistically watching the tears roll down her face, knowing she was starting to get to the girl, "i-i'm about to—"
"you're about to hold that shit, that's what you gon' do," Raquel chuckled bitterly as she abruptly stopped her thrusts and lightly tilted her head at her, "you out here fuckin' otha' bitches and think i'ma let you cum? you must really be fuckin' crazy, Simone."
"no, no, no — please! i'm sorry, Raquel, i won't give yo' pussy away no more, just don't leave me like this," Simone begged, looking at the woman with teary eyes, as Raquel looked at her with a blank stare, that same smirk still written on her face, "...please, baby?"
"that "baby" shit not 'bout to work on me right now, Simone. you want that nut? you betta' work for it," Raquel chuckled, raising a brow, as she caressed her hip with her fingertips, "betta' put these hips to good use, mama."
Simone gently bit down on her bottom lip as she gripped Raquel's shoulders, her acrylics crazing the woman's bra straps while she began to bounce at a steady pace. Raquel continued to grip Simone's neck as she held her head up, refusing to let her look away from her eyes — and to be honest, Simone was afraid to because Raquel was unpredictable. Simone bounced and rolled her hips on the strap as her eyebrows lightly furrowed and her eyes slightly fluttered, her lips sitting ajar while Raquel licked her lips at her.
"there you go, pretty mama. work for that nut like a good girl." Raquel praised, that same smirk still on her face, as she rubbed Simone's sore, red asscheeks and Simone whimpered at the contact, her walls contracting around the strap while her orgasm snuck up on her for a second time — and Raquel could sense that it pending because Simone started riding faster and rougher than before.
"you gon' cum, baby? hm? you gettin' your reward for ya work?" Raquel cooed as Simone rapidly nodded her head and her jaw sat open while involuntary moans and cries fell from her mouth, "promise me somethin' and i'll let you cum, Simone."
"a-anything!" Simone didn't realize the potential risk of the answer to Raquel's statement, and honestly, she didn't care. she couldn't focus on anything else but getting her orgasm, and if she had to promise something to Raquel, she'd do it, no questions asked.
Raquel chuckled tauntingly and her smirk widened as she leaned in closer to Simone and rested her forehead on hers, watching her struggle to hold eye contact with a smug look in her eyes.
"Don't give my shit to nobody else."
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esperfruit · 6 months ago
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Thomas & Friends Human AU reference sheets and bios part 2
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Darius Diesel
Age: 25
Height: 180 cm
Born into an infamous crime family as the nephew of the organization’s leader Adrean Diesel also known as Diesel 10. His parents’ plan was to raise him like a normal child until he was old enough to be introduced into the business but their plan was cut short as they were killed in a confrontation with the police when Darius was eight years old. Now in the care of Diesel 10, he was brought into the life of crime at an early age. It turned out Darius had a talent in deceiving others with his charisma, good acting and tricky lies. He was usually used to scam others or lead targets of the organization into traps. His success quickly earned him the nickname “Devious Diesel”.
Even if he is usually focused on trickery, he can also fight and has gotten into many brawls. His coaches for his training in combat are his two bodyguards, the twins Arry and Bert.
Receiving nothing but praise and admiration for his deeds let him become very prideful and arrogant. Meanwhile Diesel got into goth fashion and became interested in technology but only in the “fun” aspects like editing programs, filming and games, fully fascinated by their possibilities and history of revolutionizing entertainment. These were the only things he could spend his free time on as his abrasive, devious attitude and being in a criminal syndicate made it near to impossible for him to find any friends.
Diesel barely respected anyone with Diesel 10 being one of the few and it was more fear than respect as despite being praised and rewarded, Darius was still treated very roughly by his uncle and is fully aware of his cruelty.
When Diesel 10 learned about a powerful, mysterious entity called “Lady” on Sodor, he sent Darius there to gather information. On his first day Diesel wanted to make a good first impression to get on good terms with the people but was foiled by Duck, who humiliated him, that spiraling into a strong enmity between the two. 
Even after his true nature as a devious schemer was revealed, he didn’t give up on his mission. Now he also interacted with others unmasked what got him to face consequences for his actions, something he never did before, starting to wonder if he was doing something wrong.
Because he took too long, Diesel 10 sent Arry and Bert as support and later even arrived himself to find and catch Lady. The culmination of everything resulting from this was that Diesel was so shaken, he could not stay with his uncle and his organization anymore. With no place to stay, Sir Topham Hatt offered him a permanent stay under the condition, Diesel shows effort to redeem himself. It was way easier said than done because Diesel struggled changing his behavior, regulating his emotions and growing out of bad habits but he does show good progress thanks to the kindness and acceptance of Paxton and Mavis, an in-depth talk with Daisy, a deep connection he formed with the like-minded Sonny and his own determination.
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Scott “Flying Scotsman” Gresley
Age: 49
Height: 206 cm
Gordon’s older brother and the current heir to the Gresley main family business empire. Polite, accommodating and proud, Scott takes his duties very seriously and always wears a bright smile in front of others. Scott loved all of his siblings and was devastated when he lost all of them but one, Gordon. When they were children, Scott always protected Gordon from Spencer bullying him and after the accident, he looked after his younger sibling even more than before. Knowing that they were the only two members of the main family left and just how dangerous that was, Scott supported Gordon going to Sodor, which would keep him out of the family crossfire while he himself took on the position of the heir.
Scott knew how to look out for himself and built himself a good and stable position with many trustworthy connections. His new position made him realize even more just how fundamentally dysfunctional and toxic the Gresley family was but he tried everything to fix as much as possible with little results. During all of that he also started to wonder if the accident that robbed him of almost all his loved ones may have been not an accident after all…
To make matters worse his relationship with Gordon had been crumbling since the accident and seeing his little brother change so much for the worse, deeply saddened Scott. 
The brothers rarely see each other and when Scott finally got some time to visit Sodor, he put on his most light-hearted demeanor and affectionately teased Gordon by calling him “Little Brother” like he always did. In the end the brothers were able to improve their relationship and Scott is happy that Gordon is surrounded by so many great people. 
To the contrary to Gordon, who always carries a frown but has great company, the ever so jolly and cheerful Scott is very lonely due to his position that keeps him busy and on edge all the time. He tries to get into hobbies to bring light to his situation, one of his hobbies being steam engines. 
The pinnacle of his passion for them was his purchase of the world-famous engine Flying Scotsman. It made world-wide news and people started to call Scott himself Flying Scotsman thanks to the ironic correlation between his name and that of the engine’s. He allows Flying Scotsman to still work for the public but Scotsman is still his private engine. Another glimmer of light was when he met Truro West, who was Great Western, part of a rival family to the Gresleys and ironically the owner of City of Truro. The two were practically meant to be mortal enemies but instead were very fond of each other, so much in fact they even got into a relationship they both kept secret to prevent a scandal.
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Spencer Gresley
Age: 42
Height: 206 cm
Second oldest son of the one Gresley branch family closest to the main family and Gordon’s cousin. Under his siblings, he holds the strongest grudge against his older brother Mallard, who became the heir to their business instead of him. Spencer fully embraces the elitist mentality of the Gresleys, thinking it’s his birthright to be better than everyone and to be treated that way. He is vain, cocky, pompous, egocentric and has zero tolerance for any form of opposition, especially the kind that questions his feeling of superiority. He dresses very extravagantly, and wears the so-called “Streamline” hairstyle, where Gresleys put their different-colored highlights to the forefront.
Spencer also is very short-tempered and can fall into fits of rage when being provoked, getting physically violent is nothing new to him. Ironically he loves provoking others by talking down to them, making them and their loved-ones feel worthless or showing off as a form of asserting dominance and for his enjoyment of picking on those he sees as worthless. he has a hidden, deeply sadistic and malicious side only very few people know about as he tries to keep it secret to protect his image. 
In order to increase his influence, he got close to the Duke and Duchess of Boxford and directly works under them, carrying the position with utmost pride and loves to brag about it. Spencer would do anything for power, engaging in shady businesses and cooperating with the worst kind of people to get his way. All of this being kept under the rug using his wealth and status to their fullest.
Convinced everyone below the elite is just an insect, everyone denying it being just as worthless and that you must win using every dirty trick in the book, even if it hurts others, Spencer embodies everything wrong with the Gresleys.
His cruelty knows no limits as he cheered for the death of the main family and being frustrated over the two survivors, loves abusing others to feel stronger and he is fully willing to kill another person with no remorse as he tried with Hiro. His malice especially manifests in the form of his undying and deep-rooted hatred for Gordon. From childhood on Spencer already loved picking on his cousin and causing him pain. He always hated Gordon for being the same age and height as him while in the same position as him but in the main family instead, for surviving the accident, his pompous attitude, stubbornness, charisma and for avoiding the Gresleys.
Spencer swore to himself to destroy Gordon and to take everything away from him.
One idea he had for that was to get into a relationship with one of his closest friends, Henry, and to break him right under Gordon’s nose. While just being a tool to hurt Gordon, Spencer did enjoy dating Henry in his own twisted way. Loving to exploit Henry’s insecurities to control and abuse him physically and emotionally. This only ended when Henry got help from his friends to end it with Spencer, much to the latters dismay, especially with Gordon’s involvement in helping Henry. Still, Spencer gets a kick out of reminding Henry of their past relationship every time they cross paths.
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Ryan Gresley
Age: 23
Height: 174 cm
Part of a Gresley branch family and Gordon’s great cousin. He grew up like every Gresley, under strict tutoring and attending a prestige academy. Ryan is rather modest and never liked those fancy, elite institutions and had poor grades on purpose that were just enough for passing the classes. Fully aware of how messed-up his family is, he tries his best to distance himself from them, openly avoiding any involvement with their businesses, following his passion on becoming a star track athlete instead. This leads to him being ostracized and ridiculed by his relatives, even his own parents and siblings.
Ryan is a very friendly, understanding and gentle young man, who just wants to live his life but also a massive pushover, who had almost given in on throwing away his dreams for the Gresley business multiple times but he persevered.
He decided to visit Gordon, another Gresley that wanted to distance himself from the family drama. They never met before so their first encounter was rather awkward and it also was during a stressful time on the island too. In that time Ryan also got into trouble with Thomas, who was in big trouble with Sir Topham Hatt himself. The two made amends and worked together to stop a pirate from stealing a treasure and became friends afterwards.
His kindness and his lack of a backbone makes him fall victim to the more mischievous people on Sodor, Bill, Ben and Diesel especially, Daisy also likes teasing him but it is more in an affectionate manner.
Ryan managed to bond with Gordon over their shared feelings of their family and he started to really admire him. He was especially touched when Gordon openly showed support for Ryan’s dream.
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Sonny Evans
Age: 24
Height: 178 cm
An orphan, who was taken in by a smuggling ring. Sonny was trained in combat from childhood alongside other skills needed in that field. He was sent to Sodor for a mission alongside his two superior’s Baz and Bernie, who treated Sonny very poorly during that time. Trained to never question his superiors, he took the mistreatment despite his inner protests. In order to get more information, he was ordered to apply himself to work for Sir Topham Hatt and succeeded. 
Many were suspicious of him as he was gruff, rude, a loner and had something sinister in him according to the people he reluctantly interacted with. However, he started to warm-up to the people, who treated him like a normal person and he liked receiving praise for normal, non-illegal jobs. But when the time of their mission had arrived Sonny was doubtful, fighting with his implanted teaching to always obey.
He was found by Diesel, who still had to figure himself out after he left the organization he was part of. It was Diesel’s words that got through Sonny and gave him the necessary push to finally turn on the smuggling ring. He helped arrest Baz, Bernie and other henchmen, who sneaked on the island over time.
Thanks to Diesel’s help, Sonny’s involvement was completely covered up and he was allowed to stay. Unfortunately, his reputation has been ruined and most do not trust him anymore. He has to prove to everyone he changed and must not allow himself any mishaps. Sonny formed a close bond with Diesel due to their similar backgrounds and the fact that Diesel at the time was the only one who still trusted him. It took some time and help from Diesel but he managed to regain everybody’s acceptance after all.
Sonny still struggles with expressing himself in a socially appropriate way and to form bonds with others but he takes his second chance at life very seriously and always tries his best to improve himself.
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Hiro Kawasaki
Age: 62 (at disappearance)
Height: 196 cm
A genius engineer from Japan carrying the title “Master of the Railway”, who visited Sodor many years ago to expand his horizons. He helped develop the island's railway system with his rich ideas, good advice and creativity. One night he went outside to get a clear head and spotted a mysterious figure in gold walking in the woods. The figure was so captivating, he couldn’t help but to follow it and find out what it was. The last thing he could remember was how he was veiled in a golden dust and fell unconscious. When he woke up he was found by a young boy named Thomas, who told him a golden whistle he had with him started to glow and Hiro appeared out of nowhere. 
Hiro soon learned he had disappeared from this world for multiple decades in a form of magical cryosleep and should long be dead by now. He also learned he is a paradox, someone who shouldn’t exist anymore but still does, a spirit from the past trapped in the present with a body given by gold dust. The most notable trait his body gave him was the inability to feel physical touch, including pain. It had its advantages but it made him feel his whole existence to be unnatural and wrong even more.  
Understanding he did not belong in this world anymore, he wished to return his soul to his home to rest. Shortly after Hiro was brought out of the hidden woods, he was introduced to the people of present Sodor. His politeness, calm and mature nature and dignified behavior made him very liked by everyone immediately, everyone but Spencer, who came to visit Sodor.
For reasons unbeknownst to everyone at the time, Spencer wanted to kill Hiro at all cost and almost succeeded if it weren’t for Thomas and the others protecting him, finding out that despite being a spirit, he still had a form of mortality. Hiro does not hold grudges and was ready to forgive Spencer and tried to make up with him regardless of everyone's protests. But they couldn’t become friends due to Spencer’s malice.
As much as he wants to go back home, he knows only on Sodor, where he was turned into a tangible spirit, he can find the solution to his problem. Meanwhile, he wants to accompany Thomas on his quest of unveiling the secret of the Golden Whistle as it can help them both.
Hiro offers assistance wherever he can using his wisdom and unbreakable spirit. He formed very close bonds with the people of Sodor, especially his little hero Thomas and the gentle giant Henry, who Hiro even surpasses in strength despite his age. 
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Bill and Ben Bagnall
Age: 12 (Bill is the older twin by 10 minutes)
Height: 140 cm
A pair of twins that arrived on Sodor with their father Boris when they were five years old. Both are very mischievous, love pulling pranks on others or giving snarky remarks that can become quite morbid even. They are such troublemakers that people like Gordon call them “little demons”. They do all of this due to their lack of maturity and simply because they find it funny. They go to the same school as Thomas and Percy, who are their upperclassmen but they barely interact as even these cheeky teens are annoyed by the twins. Bill and Ben love picking on those older and bigger than them but they are ready to form temporary alliances with those if it means they can get an even better laugh out of a good prank through it.
Their habit of actively not listening to any adult that was not their father or Edward had driven many of their teachers mad and they serve as a visual reminder on how Thomas used to be and not to return to that.
The youthful pair may do anything together but their equal hot-headedness leads them to get into argumentative feuds that have to be resolved by BoCo. They often get compared to another pair of twins, that being Donald and Douglas and are told to take them as inspiration on how to be. That leads to Bill and Ben developing a strong resentment towards the Scottish Twins which grows even stronger by the fact that Donald and Douglas seem to be completely unaffected by their pranks and remarks and even outplay the younger twins every time.
The two lacked any form of self-reflection or fear of consequences until one prank they played threatened to get their father fired. They did everything in their power to make things right again, even asking, more begging, others for help. After everything was fixed again and BoCo could keep his job, they apologized to BoCo under tears, who then embraced his sons in a tight hug. 
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Boris “BoCo” Bagnall
Age: 52
Height: 189 cm
Boris or “BoCo” moved to Sodor 7 years ago with his twin sons and quickly integrated himself with the community, getting along very well with Edward, frequently working with him. He is sensible, kind and has a good sense of humor. But he is also not afraid of speaking his mind and is very good at shutting people up with witty comebacks, something he had to learn when he had to deal with his mischievous sons. BoCo and Duck were the ones to make sure Edward would be welcomed back with respect when he was released from the hospital after his dangerous but heroic exploit. 
He also has clever ideas especially on how to make Bill and Ben behave for the moment or let them make up after an argument for example giving them tasks they could only solve together. Unfortunately he often has to take the blame for Bill and Ben’s misbehavior as they come to his workplace after school and cause trouble.
BoCo may be frustrated with their antics from time to time especially after the loss of his wife but he truly loves his sons and knows they actually are good boys.
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a-lost-crow · 1 year ago
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Karaoke with brother (the other one didn’t make it)
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(I apologize for making Thomas short. But alas it’s too late to edit 🙇🏻‍♂️)
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lyrakanefanatic · 11 months ago
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Thoughts that I wanted to share about the brothers Hawthorne/ the grandest game bc I don’t wanna make a million posts about each one 💀
1: Phone girls dad literally shot himself ON. HER. BIRTHDAY. 😭😭
2: Skye Hawthorne MIGHT be in the grandest game, because when Avery got bombed and Ricky and skye got arrested for it, they found out that it actually wasn’t them which means they prob got out of jail (maybe not Ricky but probably skye) and she might be controlling one of the players
3: WE’LL PROBABLY GET TO SEE A SUNSHINE X GRUMPY TROPE!! (Mathias and Gigi)
4: we’ll see which 7 contestants avery will pick for the game!! (While I was writing that instead of contestants I accidentally put tributes 💀)
5: we might learn more about Toby’s backstory (or just the Hawthorne backstories in general, like Zara’s, nans or Alice’s)
6: speaking of Alice, SOMEHOW THAT OLD GRANDMAS GOING TO BE ALIVE
7: this isn’t really a prediction but more just like a possible hint for the grandest game, but when grayson tells his brothers about the riddle “what begins a bet? Not that”, Jameson says this
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He says “what’s the opposite of a handshake?” And I found a picture online that shows multiple different options of what could be the opposite of a handshake
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Basically most of the words on there kind of show “misinterpretation” or just different words for some sort of mistake, so would that mean that the “beef” (im just gonna call it that bc I don’t rlly know what went down) between tobias and thomas thomas was maybe accidental?? Or maybe they got into a disagreement that ended in thomas ending his life? All the book really shows is that one paragraph (that I highlighted in green) that talks about what Jameson thought of the riddle, and then Jameson was talking to Avery about the game (probs bc jlb didn’t wanna drop too many hints lmao) And then if you add it in with the “abet” theory ⬇️
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It said that one of the opposites of a handshake were “refusal” and “disagreement”, so what if tobias had wanted thomas to aid one of his crimes and thomas refused, and maybe tobias gave him an ultimatum which is why he shot himself?? It’s so confusing bc what would tobias even do that was so horrible that thomas had to shoot himself, I really don’t know. but if anyone has some theory’s on this pls lmk! 🫶
8: holy guacamole 7 was a long one, but anyway i feel like there are definitely more hints on the grandest game in the brothers Hawthorne then there were in the final gambit, even though in (i think tig is the one that clue was from?) the inheritance games “special” edition bc idk what their called it said “hints in the final gambit”. (although one loose end from tig was David Golding, and @riddles-n-games had a good theory about that) But i read the final gambit entirely and didn’t find a single clue other than David, so that’s kinda weird (unless somebody else found something else they found interesting in that book?)
9: Eve might also be behind one of the players, or just trying to get involved with the game so she could get the cash prize or whatever else it is that that psycho needs 🙄
10: we’ll (most likely, bc I’m 99.9% sure that she’ll be in tgg) see what phone girl looks like and see which one of us were right 😜
11: kinda random but i will bet a whole 5 dollars that phone girls name is either gonna be flower related, or just straight up be lily. Or maybe both, but just think of how ironic that would be (there are calla lilys all over the cover of tgg… 🤷‍♀️)
12: LIBBY NASH WEDDING!!! 🤭🤭🤭💗
13: so off topic but WHERE DO GRAYSON AND JAMESON GET THEIR MONEY FROM??? like I’m sure jameson probably gets some cash from his billionaire girlfriend, but what about grayson?? he says in tbh that he’s “buried in work” but what kind of work does he do?? and who does he work for?? 🤨
14: Okay this is gonna be the last one bc i need to shut up, but does anybody have an idea on what some things in the grandest game cover might symbolize? we know about the lilys and the opal rings, but other than that i CANT seem to figure out anything else on there 😭😭
and okay that’s all thank you for coming to my ted talk 🫶😊🙌
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dndeceit · 10 days ago
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Fander Fic Rec Friday (#8)
Halloween Hangover Edition
(Scary, Soft, Sad, and Silly Sides stories to finish off Spooky Season.)
The Is There Anything Left of Patton? series by Adrianainthesnow Post-Apocalypse/Zombie AU (Logicality) Rating: T When Virgil takes shelter from the apocalypse with Logan in his home, he soon learns that the man's late husband is haunting it in more than a metaphorical sense. Notes: I'm an absolute sucker for more hopeful zombie stories, and this is one of my absolute favorite series in that vein. This one starts out heart-wrenchingly sad, but the ending, while bittersweet, is well worth the trek you take to get there.
The iZombie AU by soysaucevictim iZombie AU (Prinxiety, Dukeceit, Intrulogical) Rating: NR It seemed like such a noble cause when he got recruited to the fight against the undead, brain-eating monsters lurking among them. At least until Roman's first target turns out to be his own estranged brother. Notes: Look, more zombies. There's so much in this series. It's morbid and emotional and actiony, dark in some places and funny at others, sometimes both at once, and overall just fantastic.
The Monstrous Roomates series by Willowanderer Supernatural AU (LAMP, Remile) Rating: T-M The interconnected stories of a paranormal polycule and their baffled and baffling ghostly roommate, Thomas. Notes: A long-running series of stories across several eras focused on a universe built around the Sides' monstersonas from Embarrassing Phases, and one that wrings absolutely everything possible out of its premise. At turns funny, fluffy, suspensful and heartbreaking.
Mold by FlowerMeat Canonverse (Gen) Rating: T Something is slowly taking hold of Roman: an infection, an itch that no amount of scratching seems to satisfy... Notes: A very different (and delightfully gruesome) take on how how Remus came to be. Very creepy, very fun (well, not for Roman).
From Time Immemorial by DramaticGarbage Vampire/Soulmate AU (LAMP) Rating: G At the rate at which his timer is moving, Logan doubts he'll ever get the chance to meet his soulmate... That is, until he is attacked one night and suddenly finds that he has all the time in the world to wait. Notes: A softly spooky, romantic story about four soulmates born centuries apart.
Monkey's Paw by alicat54c Canonverse (Gen) Rating: M Remus gets to make five wishes on a monkey's paw to change Thomas's mind to his liking. Notes: A very Remus twist on a classic horror story.
Under the Moon by Iceshard1011 Werewolf AU (Intrulogical, Anxceit, eventual Prinxceit) Rating: T When Remus is bitten by a werewolf, Roman's loyalty is put to the test. With no idea who to listen to and who to trust, he finds himself on the run with his brother, trapped in an endless chase to keep his brother alive. Notes: Or, Roman and Remus's Nightmare Fugitive Roadtrip. This one is a ride, packed beginning to end with suspense, anguish, betrayal and (eventually) forgiveness.
on crimson nights like this by AndTheyreOnFire Supernatural AU (DRLAMP) Rating: T Roman is a werewolf, tired of feeling like a burden to his partners and his brother. The ritual he finds when they search a haunted house one night could hold the answers he's looking for... Notes: Some spooky hurt/comfort with a softly happy ending.
The Creature Under The Bed series by MagpieMorality Supernatural AU (Intruality) Rating: T Remus is a demonic gremlin creature that has fallen madly in love with Patton. And, when Patton is thrown into danger, Remus is willing to fight both the Light above and the Dark below to earn their happy ending. Notes: Utterly strange, cute and terrifying and weirdly romantic.
Unlikely Hero by LeftoverParadox Canonverse (Gen) Rating: E A dangerous entity is unleashed within Thomas's mind: a side calling itself "Reflection", but known to the dark sides as the Mirrorman. When the others disregard Janus's warnings, it falls to Remus to save his fellow sides from themselves. Notes: Not the traditional horror story, but still very effectively terrifying. The Mirrorman is one of the most disturbing and memorable OC sides I've read.
Monster AU by Tapper_PlushieMama Supernatural AU (DRLAMP) Rating: M Logan discovers five men living together under a monstrous curse. Unable to tell him the details of how they were cursed or how to break it, it's up to Logan to try to unravel the puzzle at hand. Notes: Or, Logan gets to solve a mystery and wins himself five boyfriends in the process.
The Night Fellow by Miranda_tries_their_best Cryptid AU (Gen) Rating: T Logan goes in search of the mysterious local cryptid known as the Night Fellow. Notes: Spooky fluff. Cryptid!Virgil somehow manages to be both terrifying and adorable.
Loop by blue_toothache Ghost AU (Gen) Rating: T Logan is the only tenant on the top floor of his apartment building. Or, at least, he thought he was until recently... Notes: A very effectively haunting ghost AU. The rest of the series is also good, but this first fic stands so well on its own.
Afraid of the Dark by Giantsketches Supernatural AU (Intrumoceit) Rating: T So badly afraid of the dark that it's disrupting his sleep, Patton is talked into buying a nightlight. But maybe what hides in the darkness isn't actually all that frightening. Notes: A short, cute fic about cuddling shadow monsters. The adorable artwork is an added treat.
WIPs
Far From Boring by Hoard_of_hyperfixations Post-Apocalypse/Zombie AU (Dukeceit) Rating: M Remus is a zombie with (slightly) more brains than most, and just enough luck to run into the one survivor curious enough not to simply shoot him on sight (and with morals just loose enough to keep his ravenous new companion properly fed). Notes: Yet more zombies. Featuring traumatic family reunions and the glorious indignity that is Remus's embarrassing post-mortem crush on Janus.
Vultures by FlowerMeat Serial Killer AU (Gen) Rating: M The sides are a tightly-knit group of serial killers, each with their own unique methods, and all willing to help the others cover up their crimes. Note: This one is super dark, but still each side's particular MO feels so uniquely them. Patton's chapter in particular is something I'm not likely to forget any time soon...
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