#broken in the sad wolf's jaws ( felassan )

[theharellan]

Holly's post reminded me that I do think at some point Solas buries Felasasan. I thought it might be after Halamshiral (where in my head Solas and Briala connect and he aids her in some way to try to alleviate his guilt), but post-Veilguard's release I think he waits until after the events of the game. When he can actually start accepting, rather than fermenting in his own grief and regret.

Felassan and his murder is, in my opinion, one of the hardest things for him to move past. While his death was in part motivated by the sense of betrayal he felt (betrayal of him, betrayal of those who remain, of those who sleep), Felassan's acceptance of the modern elves as worthy played an undeniable role. For years, Solas justified it with the former while denying the latter. And now, over a decade after his death, he is returning to him with one of the people Felassan died advocating for (Ian, if that weren't obvious).

And I think Felassan is so hard for him to accept because accepting feels like forgetting. So long as he is twisting the knife of what he did into himself he is being punished. It's hard because he can never know what Felassan would feel to see where he is now, if he would resent him or be proud of him or feel nothing at all. To even meditate on how he would feel feels wrong, like he is puppeting Felassan's corpse to alleviate his own guilt.

I do think that, when all is said and done, one way he tries to honour Felassan is by telling "human" stories about him (similar to how in this fic I wrote he helps Varric process his grief about Hawke). To try to make the person who, in myth, was nothing more than an arrow fired by the Dread Wolf into someone other people in Solas's life can remember. Even in that, though, he can never be sure if it would be something Felassan would want, and he just has to accept that.

[theharellan]

Approval + maybe building a giant aquarium to liven up the place

Approval Meme | Selectively Accepting

Solas slightly disapproves and then thinks better of it.

He sees his own reflection as he frowns at them.

'What is one more duty?' Felassan had asked, as though their lives are not one duty balanced precariously atop another.

What is one more duty? When every new name that passes through the Lighthouse is a new reason why they cannot fail

The amorphous creatures that float through the waters of Felassan's creation are slight to look upon, at times disappearing in the light that streams impossibly from above.

He frowns, and one draws near, almost kissing the glass to peer out at him.

What is one more duty? Another thing to love, it seems.

[theharellan]

Do you regret the rift between you and Felassan?

ask solas questions about his relationships | accepting

"Wouldn't anyone?"

At times, the turn of a smile can wound the wearer; the corners of his lips dig like a knife's edge into his cheeks just to hear his name said aloud.

"There was a loneliness to being Fen'Harel- what comradery I might have found among them became a reverence not far removed from the divinity I disparaged. Necessary posturing, Felassan assured me, to instill a sense of safety in those who had not known the meaning of the word before. Necessary, perhaps, but isolating...

"Felassan was not given to reverence, however. No matter what titles the world was determined to burden me with, I was always Solas in his company. And his skills as a general were matched only by his talent for making me laugh.

"His... is the company I most often miss. Had I heeded his wisdom, I suspect- well. The world would not be as it is now."

[theharellan]

If Felassan hadn't done what he did, handing the eluvians to Briala, would Solas have joined the Inquisition himself or would he have sent an agent?

While I think he may have been more trusting of his agents in a version of reality where Felassan handed over the eluvian passkey, the retrieval of the orb was an incredibly delicate situation that he likely would have felt would best fall to his hands.

He might have sent an agent to join the Inquisition, but him joining the Inquisition was a direct result of him going personally to retrieve the (now activated) orb. The activated orb itself was too volatile to be handled by anyone else, not to mention the power they might have if they could wield it and turned against him.

In the context of Solas and Ian's universe, he does consider sending Miraen (@ancientimpudence), but only after he thinks he will have to leave the Inquisition due to what happens between him and Ian in the grove.

[theharellan]

agents of fen’harel inner circle  🤝 the inquisition inner circle

                                     making fun of solas

[theharellan]

normal rat | tas: i was trying to think of a funny story solas could tell abt the rebellion to members of the inquisition for some banter i was gonna write and one idea that came to mind was like idk if you've seen atla but in one ep uncle iroh makes tea out of something he thinks is one flower but is actually a poison one and he breaks out in a rash anyway i thought abt that but felassan

himbo elvenking: hmslfjdldbslsj god that would happen Felassan is just feral Uncle Iroh

normal rat | tas: slkdjfsf i love it it's a story he'd only tell if felassan were alive just like varric: have any funny stories chuckles solas: * looking directly at felassan * yes actually

himbo elvenking: Felassan holding Solas’ gaze cuz if we’re telling funny stories —

normal rat | tas: a declaration of war was made

himbo elvenking: Varric in the bg like “oh this is gonna be good”

anyway @weptlore im afraid it’s canon now

[theharellan]

@ghiassan​ asked: Alternative prank: Felassan gets some of his wisp friends to lead Solas to something Very Interesting in the Fade only for it to turn out to be the Elvhen equivalent of a Rick Roll

He does not recognise the deception in Joy’s request, they met at a time in his life when deception was not so deadly as it would become. When tricks were for thrills, not ploys for power. It bounces along the path, a glowing ball of light which skips like a stone across a pond, anticipatory giggles rippling the fabric of the Fade. A dozen wisps follow its lead, drawn like moths to its glimmer.

It takes him to a room where the floors and ceilings do not quite line up, the masonry does not so much end and cease to exist, leaving nothing but sky. In the center sits a pie, topped not with pastry but a hat shaped like a chimney. Its angry, accusing eyes bear into him with a puzzling intensity.

Questions come in fragments-- answers, too. There is familiar mischief baked into its very crust, and when he reaches out to straighten the hat atop its head he is struck with the fleeting twitch of a grin, and not his own. For all his questions, there is no mistaking the grin’s wearer, but it does not explain Joy’s role.

“What is this?”

“I said you’d never seen anything like it, didn’t I? It’s new!” Joy says, he hears himself in its tone, pride in its deception that gives way to pure delight. It bursts into bubbles, laughter pealing through the hopes of dreamers for miles around, growing louder with every pop.

He looks between his friend and the pie, the confused knit of his brow slowly giving ground to a hint of a smile. “So it is.” A chuckle rumbles in his throat, followed like clockwork by a clumsy snort (the sound echoes as well, amplified by Joy, its purpose fulfilled. The sun itself would be envious of its shine).

[theharellan]

@ghiassan​ asked: Felassan was a man of many talents: ladybug-charming, apparently, being among them. While his friend was away, he covered his desk in cilantro and dill, all teeming with ladybugs. Though they could easily have wandered off, they seemed content to swarm their herbs

At first, it escapes his notice. His nose is stuck between the pages of a book, his mind teeming with words that spilled off the pages and capture his imagination. He lowers himself into his chair, reading to the end of the page before he feels something crawl along his finger.

Solas resists the urge to shake like a dog casting off water, lifting his hand instead. The offending creature crawls along his knuckle, red shell shining against orange torchlight. Past his hand, he sees the cross-stitch of green showered over his desk, interspersed with red specks that gave one the impression of an obscure board game.

“Hm.”

He lies back against his chair, contemplating the insect’s gait. At his fingertip its wings kick up, poised to take flight, only to fold them against its back and wrap around again. His foot shifts beneath the legs of his chair, hitting an empty bowl from his breakfast that morning. In the same moment his ankle hits against the rim an idea occurs to him. Solas bends over to retrieve it, ignoring the few grains of rice left at the bottom of the bowl and carefully scraping the ladybird into the bowl.

Repeating the task several dozen times strains his patience, frustration inlaid in the lines across his brow as several clung stubbornly to sprigs of coriander before he drops them with their well-earned spoils intact.

By the end, he is quite confident he holds in his hands the solution to Skyhold’s aphid dilemma.

[theharellan]

And now I want to know more about the fallout of Felassan's betrayal, such as it is; specifically as with Mo's blog

ask me questions about solas’s verses | accepting

it leaves him with complicated feelings, in both instances. and i want to note this is based entirely upon solas’s perception of these events (based on the information i have about them, so subject to change!) and he could be wrong.

the first time, solas is likely awake at this time, but given masked empire is set a year or so before inquisition he hasn’t been awake that long. the dysphoria is real, and his symptoms of derealisation outside of the fade are difficult to fight. the world is new to him, and not in an appealing way. felassan’s betrayal comes as an utter surprise, he’s experienced betrayal before. the rebellion doubtless had people who betrayed it for the sake of their gods, or their empire, or whatever other loyalties they had, but felassan clearly wasn’t betraying anyone for his own gain. in fact, he risked losing everything for the sake of people that to solas’ eyes were utterly flat-- they frowned or smiled, went through the motions of being alive, but in a reality where the sixth sense of the pre-veil world was absent it felt flat.

he gives felassan ( @asomniari ) another chance and turns his plans away from the eluvian for the moment. it is possible for him to strive towards his plans while felassan is allowed to see how the chance he gave briala to play out. given the amount of trust he placed in felassan, it planted a small seed of doubt that takes time to grow.

and, of course, even if solas doesn’t kill felassan he still carries guilt for considering it. especially as inquisition progresses and solas is allowed the same exposure to the modern world felassan was. he admits as much, and as by inquisition he clearly admires briala to the point where his approval in WE&WH is dependent upon her getting the inquisition’s support. modern elves begin to join their ranks and are potentially allowed the same level of trust as those he has known centuries (though it mostly depends on how they are recruited-- those recruited by agents who have never met him such as gaius display a different level of understanding of him than bruno, who was recruited by miraen, albeit indirectly). felassan plays a role in that allowance, as he does in plots where solas directly approaches briala to establish an alliance.

yet at the same time felassan’s role is greatly reduced, to the point where it’s unlikely felassan is placed on assignments alone anymore. when it’s clear his feelings for theria ( @youriinquisitorialness ) are beginning to blossom, part of solas sort of guessed that felassan defecting permanently would happen. mo and i haven’t plotted much about how it plays out, so i don’t want to talk about the logistical fallout and implications and instead i’ll move onto how solas feels.

it’s a confusing mix of anger, sympathy, understanding, and jealousy.

he’s angry because like, felassan isn’t just betraying him, and if he were then it would still be upsetting, but not to the same extent. he’s betraying the hundreds of ancient elves that are depending on their plans, the thousands of spirits beyond the veil whose existence is stifled by the veil, it goes far beyond just being about solas. and he’s doing it for somewhat selfish reasons from solas’s perspective, compared to the briala betrayal which was more selfless in his eyes.

which is where we come to the understanding and jealousy. solas ultimately wants a world where the People can be selfless, to choose themselves over some grand plan or rebellion. they spent their time before the rebellion serving others, and then devoted their freedom in fighting to keep it. he genuinely wants a world where someone like felassan can retire with his wife on a farm and idk eat bark together. he gets it.

what’s more, there is part of solas that is envious that felassan has the bravery to be selfish. by trespasser solas is reasonably certain he could be happy living the rest of his days out with ian, wandering the world and learning. there might be something missing, but it would probably be the happiest he’d been in a long time. or, it would be, if he could pretend he wouldn’t be saddled with constant guilt when he remembers the people he promised freedom and delivered instead a broken world.

solas is certain his story will end with his death for the sake of their future, but he has to find a way to secure that future. yet there is an undeniable part of him that longs for the ability to do what felassan did, and a part of him that hates that desire. that part of him is the part that’s angry with felassan, as well as himself.

[theharellan]

18 and 31

supporting character meme | not accepting

18. someone who can always make solas laugh

i’ve answered this one twice and unfortunately two is about how many people who can always make solas laugh.

while once the list may have been much longer, he was much more overtly emotional in his youth, and this included positive emotions, these days it’s short. there are people who can make him laugh with some consistency in inquisition, varric comes to mind, and others who are as likely to bother him as amuse him, like sera. but with varric there’s always secrets and a higher chance that he’s too busy suppressing himself to think to laugh. compared to joy, who has always known who solas is or ian, who once he gets close to has an easy time relaxing around.

31. someone who betrayed solas’s trust

felassan. twice, in the case of mo’s felassan, although i have an ask about the second betrayal where i’ll be talking more about his feelings regarding that incident. which may take a bit for me to get to but y’know.

the eluvian network was pretty important during the initial rebellion, and now that the veil’s in place it was extra important. in elvhenan there were likely other forms of transportation faster than on foot or on the back of a hart, these days there’s little choice. ensuring his agents would be able to move quickly and smoothly, through roads that were known almost only to them, was vital. felassan didn’t follow through, betraying not only solas but every member of the rebellion. putting those who are also active and awake at greater risk.

needless to say, it angers him. and even when, for roleplaying reasons, solas stays his hand and doesn’t kill him, he still considers it. and he never really trusts felassan with anything important again. he’s not even entirely sure the inquisition should trust him, once it’s clear briala will be tied up in what’s happening at halamshiral.

[theharellan]

👀 + felassan/solas platonic??

three headcanons meme | not accepting

as fen’harel he is in a very fragile state of mine. it’s the first time in ages he’s made emotional connections on a person-to-person level. he develops small crushes on several members, felassan included. however, he both knows he can’t be in a relationship (period) but that it would be improper to act on them

he keeps antidotes in his pack. this is a logical and practical choice, but one he didn’t think of until felassan made himself sick with some tea brewed from a mistaken plant

as member of the inquisition he makes no secret of his close relationship with felassan. if asked, he will explain they first met in the fade. like most things from elvhenan he witnessed first-hand, it is technically accurate.

[theharellan]

❝ When did I say I would save you? ❞

@asomniari​​ |  🔄 send for an aesthetic | not accepting

art credit: here, here & here